#and they accomodate your food struggles

[yarmageddon-blog]

When you see your friends and then have a great time and then come home and go

[iwritebigbellies-blog]

The party was great. You were in your element, gregarious and happy, drinking like a fish, laughing with all our friends, helping to bbq and serve. We got there early and left late, and in between you ate so much that you were practically a sphere, belly so full it had lift, and your shirt couldn't cover it.

Not that you noticed. You were so drunk and happy that nothing crossed your mind but your most basic desires: more laughter, more beer, more food, more.

"Come on," I laughed, trying to wrangle you to the door. You got distracted by the host's cat, finally making an appearance. "You've turned into a pumpkin, Cinderella."

"Just let me finish my beer," you said, looking around for it. It was long gone, but I rolled my eyes and found you another. "Chips?" you ask, sitting on the stairs, patting the cat, giving me your best puppy-dog eyes.

"Absolutely not," I said incredulously. "Look at you, babe. You are going to literally explode if you eat one more bite." I bent over to poke you in the belly, which had no give at all. You looked at yourself like you just noticed, and gave it a pat.

"Maybe I overdid it a little," you muttered. "But I--" Then you were interrupted by an enormous belch and I couldn't help laugh again as you flushed red and blew out a slow breath. "I just really like chips."

"Come on, tubby," I said, reaching out with both hands. You took them and struggled to a stand, and it was a serious struggle. You outweigh me by almost three times, these days. Tonight, it was even more. You finally stumbled forward, laughing, and bumped into me, taking me in both arms for support.

"Sorry," you murmured into my ear. "I've had--" You hiccuped again. "--a lot."

Your huge, tight gut pressed heavy into me, leaving nothing to the imagination. I cupped the exposed bottom of your belly and almost buckled at the knees. You were so big, fatter and tighter than ever, weaving unsteadily on your feet, breathing heavy. I wanted to pull you closer, back to the wall, and ram my tongue down your throat. But this was not the place.

"Understatement of the year," I muttered back, trying to make light. "You've eaten yourself into the next size category. Where would you even put chips if I found you some?"

You responded by relaxing. Leaning into me, your belly expanded, hanging ponderously into my hands. "Here," you said.

I was going to lose my mind. When I stood straight, you did too, leaning back with a moan. You put your hands on the small of your back, arched, then placed them on the sides of your belly again when your shirt didn't come down to cover it.

"Let's go," I said gently, taking a belt loop and tugging you towards the door.

"Home?" you said, a little disappointed. I led you out to the street first, ordering a cab.

"Absolutely not," I replied, meeting your eyes. "We're going out for dessert." Your eyes widened, and you rubbed the sides of your belly absently, pressing and testing. "Wouldn't you prefer some ice cream?"

"Yes," you said instantly, without thinking. It had been a while, since you'd been thinking. Even as your eyes lit up at the prospect of that sundae, scoops of ice cream on brownies and fudge, whipped cream and crumbled cookies and a milkshake on the side; you were short of breath, widening your stance to accomodate how bloated you'd gotten over the evening. You didn't notice, but I did.

Later, when you were slouched in your seat, moaning in happiness, or pain, or happiness, your belly bare and bumping the table, your pants unbuttoned and tugged open as wide as they would go, you finally caught up.

"I..I think I'm done," you said, panting, understatement of the year. "Can I just sleep here? I don't think I am going to walk ever again. Oh my god. I am so full, baby. Look at me. I'm so full. I'm so--urp--oh my god. I'm not going to fit out the door."

I walked behind your chair and hugged you, reaching my hands over your shoulders to gingerly rub a stomach that was so distended, it shone. "Take it slow, my love. We'll get you there."

We levered you out of the seat and started the long, slow waddle to the door, you moaning and carrying on about how much you'd overdone it, still too drunk for any dignity. As we passed the front cash, I paused.

"Two more milkshakes, to go." It wasn't clear who was more stunned, the waiter or you. "And have you got chips? A bag." He filled the order, and you whimpered.

I handed them to you after we climbed for the next cab. You tore them open mechanically, and closed your eyes in bliss when the first hit your tongue. "Thank you," you said.

I snuggled close and started rubbing your huge belly, sliding my hands under your shirt. You closed your eyes and leaned into it, moaning again. "Anything your heart desires," I said. "Just keep eating."

[strawberryfloofs]

my tiny space wants

baby space - I want a caregiver to know me so well that when I'm struggling to use my words and extra whiney, they check to see if I have my rattle, stuffie, and paci. No? "I know why you're all fussy muffin, I'll be right back!" - read me my favorite Bluey books and ask me to point things out - sit through my babbles and pay attention to me when I point to something I want - "hold on baby, let mommy help, you're way too tiny for that!" - cut my food into silly/cute shapes and feed me - I'm able to stim in front of them and they can tell if it's a happy stim to be unbothered, or a distress stim - viciously shaking my unicorn rattle and being met with smiles - babas toddler space (most frequent for me) - grabbing a book and sitting next to me as they help me read it, correcting some words or finishing a sentence if it's too hard. (also asking me about what happened in the story) - being able to understand my broken sentences or the few words I give - "mamaaa! color stuffi?" "hmm, I don't see why your stuffie couldn't join us doll" "eeepp!" - putting me down for naps if needed (even if I fight them), or talking to me about why I'm so fussy - letting me help with cooking! like mixing cookie dough! - "away from the oven you get sweetie, only mommy's gonna put the cookies in, it's dangerous for her little one." - helping with my tantrums or meltdowns, figuring out why they happened and how they can help me feel better. - PLAYTIME!! with my dollies, cars, pretend food sets, all of that - pretend play is a must - helping me with my activity books! whether its counting on my fingers or asking me simple questions about colors - also helping me with puzzles if I get too frustrated - being patient with telling me things, calling me gently if I seem unfocused or distracted. - "kamz, kamz angel- hi there! can you listen to mommy for a second? good girl!" smol kiddo space (rare for me) - outdoors! flower picking, climbing trees, collecting rocks, all of that! - "baby don't run off too far, wait for mama!" - playgrounds and picnics! but specifically I wanna ride swings - simple video games generally - understanding my sensory needs and accomodating them - blanket forts - being showered with love and them enjoying caring for me as much as I enjoy being cared for by them - them knowing how to put me in smolspace and keep me there - "it's okay to be little love, I won't judge you. I love it when you're like this, it makes me so happy and it seems to do that for you too" - understand I have involuntary regression (for negative things) at times and accept if it happens. - "lots of big girl feelings huh? I know, I know. let's go snuggle up and you can let it all out." - notice when I'm feeling tiny, even if I try to hide it - "is someone feeling smol today? here, this is a little stuffie keychain, can you keep them safe until we get home?" - honestly just treat me like the age i regress to.

[bratzforchris]

do you have any tips for being chronically ill in college? i am struggling rn 🥲

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION YIPPEE

-use academic accomodations. you're not a bad student, "lazy", or taking advantage of the system by using accommodations for your needs. having academic accommodations has helped me so much, and most professors are usually very accommodating. however, most, if not all, universities/colleges require you to have a formal diagnosis and/or paperwork from a doctor to recieve disability services

-ELECTROLYTES! electrolytes genuinely save me so, so much. usually if i'm feeling sluggish, i can drink some and i feel decently better (i have POTS, EDS, and an autoinflammatory disorder). personally, i prefer the sugar free kind, because the ones with sugar tend to give me a tummy ache. my favorite brands are liquid iv (sugar free) and nectar :)

-healthy eating. i know the 2 am taco bell sounds good, but your body will feel better if you eat healthier foods. however, i know this can be hard to access in college, so i've complied a list for ya :)

pre cut fruit/veggies for low spoons days

boxed protein shakes (i like the orgain plant protein ones)

trail mix

healthier granola protein bars (i like barebells, rx bars, and kind bars)

pre made salads

applesauce pouches

-rest! trust me, it's okay to rest. your friend will understand if you don't feel like going out. college is 4 years. there will be more opportunities. listen to your body<3

[sailor-cerise]

What's the point of the social model of disability?

My musings on the social model of disability, including what I think is a common misunderstanding and some criticism I have.

My understanding is that the social model of disability is not about claiming society is the only reason for suffering and limitations -- that most certainly is not true for many people -- but rather about why the disability prevents you from participating in society and what should be DONE about your disability.

The medical model: you are broken and you and doctors must work to "fix" you so that you fit in and be as normal as possible. You need to make yourself fit in. Accomodations are about making you as least different and most "productive" as possible, minimizing the differences others see and have to accommodate. There is one "right" way to be and you aren't it.

The social model: society should adapt to the people that live in it, including disabled people, and society should change to accommodate people living with disabilities. Accomodations are about putting you in equal ground with others. You should be empowered to live life as fully as possible, to interact with other people and the world not as a burden or an object of pity or an afterthought, but a PERSON.

When the social model says "society disables you", it's a criticism of how society treats disabled people and makes their issues bigger problems than they need to be, and pressures people to suppress their needs and appear "normal".

If society changed, I would still:

Have wildly inconsistent energy

Have intense pain sometimes (period pain, migraines, body aches)

Be unable to exercise vigorously in cold, dry weather

Require aids like tinted glasses and noise cancelling headphones

Require a lot of medications to feel well enough to do things I care about

BUT I would also:

Not be forced to give ALL my limited energy to work, leaving me with some for myself and my relationships and hobbies

Be able to take the time and treatments I needed to get throughout painful episodes

Not spend a ton of energy acting "normal" for the sake of keeping my job and family relationships, hiding my needs and pushing through in unhealthy ways

Rest without shame

Have my accomodations accepted without mockery or outrage or judgement

Have the supports I need to see doctor and go to physical therapy so I can do more of the activities I want to

Be able to more effectively manage my triggers, reducing the amount of pain and fatigue I deal with

When people say "society disables you", it's a common over-simplification, one I see from both people who are excited about the social model, and from those who are frustrated with the insinuation that the disability itself is trivial.

Yes, if society changed, many of us would still have limitations and pain and frustrations.

But the point is to remove those that are unnecessary obstacles to participating in society.

Barriers to voting, to going to the doctor, to eating food we like, to seeing our friends, to enjoying artwork, to relaxing, to being ourselves.

The social model isn't intended to say "the only thing causing us pain is society!"

It means "society should focus on alleviating our pain and struggles in ways that work for US, not on conformity at all costs and the appearance and performance of 'health'"

Also while this is my ramblings on it, I'm not pulling this out of my ass.

The language is, in my opinion, flawed. Specifically, they* separate out "impairment" and "disability" like so:

Impairment is a medical condition that leads to disability. Disability is the result of the interaction between people living with impairments and barriers in the physical, attitudinal, communication and social environment. For example, it is not the inability to walk that keeps a person from entering a building by themselves, but the stairs that are inaccessible to them.

Personally, I think the word "impairment" is more irritating and condescending than disability, but their point is that the physical or mental limitations of your condition aren't what holds you back from participation, but the lack of accomodations for them.

I expect this choice comes from things like the ADA definition of disability (emphasis mine):

a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities

If the impact of your "impairment" (geez I really don't like that word...) no longer limits your major life activities, then by that definition, it's not a disability.

I do still think there are cases where this isn't true, that the limitations of your body/mind are too hard to be fully overcome no matter the supports, but I don't think there's any disability that couldn't be improved by society prioritizing meeting people where they are, and accommodating the different needs people have.

*"They" meaning a most sites I read talkingabout it, but specific definition from:

Which also says:

A social model perspective does not deny the reality of impairment nor its impact on the individual. [...] For example, it is not the inability to walk that keeps a person from entering a building by themselves, but the stairs that are inaccessible to them.

The impairment still exists. You still can't walk or hear or see or deal with loud noises or get a full night's sleep every night or whatever else your symptoms/daily reality might be.

But the point is that you should have an equal chance to participate in life.

And back to the original question...

Why does this even matter?

I have mixed feelings, but these are the reasons I care:

It's hard to criticize something without shared vocabulary to talk about it. It gives us a framework for the criticism

We can never improve society if we don't have a goal in mind and an idea of our issues

I am fucking angry about the way the world treats disabled people and having an acknowledgement of the shittiness makes me feel seen

It helps me to stop blaming myself for not being able to get better

It helps people who are recently become/just finding out they are disabled accept it, shifting mindset from "I don't have a disability because that would mean I failed/am a failure/there is something less about me now" to "I do have a disability and I can't be 'normal' anymore and it's okay to be different".

I know disability isn't a bad word. But it feels like one to many people, and they don't change overnight. Having an off-ramp from the well-established path of ableism is important.

Issues I have with it:

Easily misunderstood and oversimplified to the point that it causes distress/harm

An empty sentiment if it's not backed up by a push for change

Too much emphasis on how we talk about it rather than how we fix it

The all-or-nothing/binary approach to medical model vs. social model that seems to be fairly common. I DO want medical help with many of my issues, and believing in the social model should NOT be considered antithetical to medical assistance

The word "impairment", apparently. TIL this about myself

[stitchthesewords]

Hey hi hey hey hi I am having an Emotional day so uh. Have an Apocalypse AU idea I had. Full disclosure - I uh. Actually hate stories set within and just beyond apocalypses, which is why my stuff is always set pretty far Past an apocalypse. But. I'm feeling things and I dislike apocalypse stories because of that whole Lone Wolf/Everyone Turns On Each Other mindset so many writers seem to have and this is Not That so - below the cut.

Okay so I'm less interested in how the apocalypse happens here but I'm picturing it being some kind of monster apocalypse. This is definitely gonna be a minecrafty like. low fantasy world like all my ideas so maybe the apocalypse is caused by mobs coming in the night for the first time. The struggle of stuff spawning when it gets dark - and maybe with the added difficulty of the sun not killing things. My own difficulty is figuring out like, doc and Cleo bc i still want them to be a creeper and zombie hybrid but I imagine everyone being human??????? maybe I change that. But I still don't know how to justify like doc existing like Cleo mightve gotten bitten but not become a full zombie for some reason but doc? IDK. then again im now thinking about like maybe mild hybridization okay. So maybe like. avians. Sheep hybrids. Simpler hybrids than what i usually do and everyone else [sans the hybrids] are just Dudes. Okay so

Monsters start appearing one day and it causes, understandably, mass panic in a world where monsters didn't exist beforehand. Before its all said and done, people are fleeing left right and center and no one is really keeping track of anything and a lot of things kind of fall apart. You know, standard monster apocalypse stuff. BUT. here's the thing. I don't think this is a 'government steps in a takes over' and I dont think this is a 'everyone turns on each other and refuses to share supplies' - just the opposite.

And the hermits end up being one such group of people who end up collecting together. They pool their resources and support each other and build a safe place to live - lit up, with walls to keep the new and dangerous mobs out, and houses to keep everyone safe and warm. Support. No man left behind. And it - admittedly - takes them a bit to really get their feet underneath them. Feeding a group their size is difficult and gardening and farming is a brand new idea to a lot of them who had other jobs before the apocalypse [Architects, tailors, scientists, engineers, etc etc]. And they're jobs are important and useful too, but they're got to learn to do stuff like Milk Cows, grow their own food, process that food, process animals - all of it.

And what I'm thinking is like this is both a soft and hard au. Soft in that there's a lot of focus on learning to trust their new family, learning these new skills they need, falling in love amongst themselves, and learning how to accomodate different issues everyone has. And its also a hard AU in that it's learning to fight to defend each other from the mobs and learning to explore safely and learning to protect each other and all that stuff.

But its also like - welcoming strangers who need help who may or may not stay with open arms because they're people and they need help. And yeah, sometimes people have bad intentions and it might bite them in the ass occasionally but this is a group of people who came together to protect each other they aren't just going to leave someone else out to starve or die.

Is this even coherent. Anyway just kind of a lot of thoughts about learning to care for other people and trust and build community both literally and figuratively. Learning to build houses with your hands and repair what you have and learning to farm and process and cook. Rebuilding from the ground up a community in your own image. lkhsfkdlk

@atherix @braxiatel @greatbridge @ellalily @lesbianwilby @em-mermaid @loombarrow @sparksnevadas @aceofthefandoms

[scrapperjoe]

Josuke post grad

I was inspired by @/yossarianirl (not fully tagging for the sake of notifications) posting their josuke head canons i feel like posting about my ideas especially for the nijimura au.

First off, homie definitely has adhd. School was rough for him especially with constant stand drama and trips to the hospital. A lot of people, myself included, always like to imagine josuke in the medical field, but don't really realize the grades you have to have to get into med school are lowkey insane. You gotta be at the top of your class; advanced placement classes no less. Josuke would no doubt really struggle getting those grades. Especially given the Japanese education system being notoriously cut throat.

But josuke feels like its his duty to help people and goes to med school regardless through the speedwagon foundation. They do offer him a lot of accomodations and even hook him up with tutoring and extended time to turn in work. (The spwf is disability friendly because i say so.) And after ungodly hours spent studying all those silly medical terms and such, hes able to pass and INSTANTLY goes into being a paramedic. One of the worst mistakes of his life.

My heart goes out to anyone in this position because of what you have to deal with. Josuke had thought "i can just save them with crazy diamond!" And learned his lesson way too fast. Sometimes the paramedics arrive too late, and crazy diamond can't help with strokes, heart attacks or overdoses. Theres some emergencies... You just cant help with. Mortality is an unfortunate part of being a living being. And life is incredibly fragile. The position lasts at best 1 year before josuke has an incredibly horrible week full of death. The mental toll and survivors guilt is far too much. Even with counselling hes met his limit. The dreams and nightmares are too much to bare so he has to quit. Since he didnt want his suffering through med school to go to waste he decides to become a physical therapist.

With all this said, it's no mystery that josukes a mess of an adult. Tomoko cooked almost all his meals and he has little to no adult skills other than laundry. After moving out post grad he lived off instant meals having no idea how to cook. He completely lost his appetite because of soggy freezer meals and fake food. Doubled with amounting credit card debt from retail therapy and shopping to relieve stress, to the point when hyakuko meets her fkmt fixation keicho cant help but feel kaiji seems all too familiar, he was not in good shape.

After moving in with the nijimuras however after okuyasus ex wife walked out, things got better. Living alone was not for Josuke, and with the added family members, some things get a lot easier to manage from meals, to laundry, and so on. Yeah, a 6 person family (7 including josuke) is a lot. But... Okuyasus cooking and keicho doing a fair share of the cleaning took a huge burden off him. Josuke being able to help with the kids was a HUGE help amidst okuyasu recovering from insomnia and the plethora of issues keicho lives with. Keicho helps him with paying off credit card debt and honestly, josuke wouldnt have it any other way than to be with that family.

[lucawrites11]

Aww I’m glad you liked it ! I was just listening to the song and it popped into my head ( I ready your fics way to much 😅)

Ohh I hope your time off is ok , I’m currently off work cause I can’t type after my 4th surgery on my wrist , I bang wish to be back ! It’s tough but wishing you all the best !

I feel you on the nhs btw I ended up having to go private 🤦🏻‍♀️

i need to have more tests before i can go private but i probably will go private for the actual surgery. its a rib removal with a 2-5 day hospital stay and i am autistic and struggle with a lot of stuff to do with food and sleep so private would get me the accomodations i need so i am not constantly having a meltdown or not eating/sleeping. it may also let me get the surgery done closer to my parents so they don't have to take so much time off work but we're in the we'll see stage - the rib removal will need three months of recovery to regain use of my arm and i am taking a leave of absence off uni so yeah it'll be a time

i once read a fic twenty five times in a month so i don't think you can read anything too much imo i am so glad you enjoy them :))

[thesuperheroeater]

The Superhero Hunt, Part 3: An 'Ant'-sized Meal

(Request By @vorepred223311 )

The next day you wake up and head to the bathroom shitting the remains of the archer into the toilets. It took you some time, but eventually you end up filling them quite well. You wipe your ass and smile as you admire the fat the hero added to your behind. You put your pants back on and leave the restrooms. When entering the living you're greeted with a brunet you recognised from tv. It's one of the Avengers, Ant-man? You don't remember, but it doesn't matter, all you see is some food.

The man is surprised by your presence and asks why you're here and where Hawkeye is. You lie and tell him you're one of Hawkeye's friends, which the suited hero easily believes. ''Oh, nice to meet you!'' He greets you as he gives you a handshake. ''You know where he is? Because he asked me to come over to have a snack.'' You smile to yourself, the man was so naïve, such an easy prey. You understand that Hawkeye was planning to swallow the man, but we know how that ended. Well luckily for you, now you have a meal just waiting for you to eat. 

''He went down, but don't worry you'll join him!'' you tell him, as you grab him, pinning his arms the long of his body. ''What?'' The man panics, not understanding what you're planning to do. But it will change soon enough as you gulp his head down your throat. The man struggles as he's surprised by your action. But the struggle makes it only easier for you to shove him inside your mouth. You moan as more of the man slides past your lips.

Once you've got his abs inside, you raise your head to make it easier to swallow the man. As you gulp his abs and the arms alongside, you feel your belly inflate by the presence of the man inside. Scott Lang is still trying to find a way out and keeps squirming, begging you to release him. But his pleading makes it just more enjoyable for you. You take another gulp around the meat, till only his legs are left. For which you don't waste any more time to swallow. And some seconds later you're closing your mouth around Ant-man's booted feets. 

You rub your swollen gut feeling your prey struggling inside, squeezed between the walls. It makes you moan even more. You sit on the couch, enjoying your free meal. Inside the man is panicking even more as it gets harder to breathe. In an act of distress he activates his power and shrinks to an ant-sized man. Causing your stomach to deflate a lot, which you didn't like. You start rubbing your belly, shaking it, wanting the man to turn back to his normal size. Inside the man is shaked from all sides making him want to puke. As he starts to drown in the stomach acids, he reactivated his powers this time growing to a much bigger size than before. 

Your stomach is stretching unbelievably wide, accomodating to the growing size inside with your belly inflating more and more, growing into an abnormal size. Breaking the lounge table it was resting on along the way. That was a surprise you didn't see coming, but it was a welcomed one. The hero eventually hits the maximum size he can get making your stomach hit the roof. You moaned at the view. But the hero soon notices it was a bad idea, as he feels even more squeezed than before. When he wants to return to normal size, he notices he can't because his suit is also breaking down. He's crying as his bones are breaking and the acids are melting his flesh. Desperately begging you to release him.

The change in pressure inside your stomach makes the gas rise through your throat. Making you belch.

BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRPRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

A giant-sized Ant-man helmet comes flying out, bursting against the wall. You smile to yourself as you feel your giant meal digesting inside. You didn't expect the man to turn so huge, but you loved the outcome. Now you're finally closing your eyes taking a nap on the couch, imagining how much fat the man will add on your body once digested.

[menalez]

If you don't mind sharing advice-

I have read about the way you have struggled with mental health and I am sorry about that :/

But you're also studying everyday. So could you advise me on how to study while being mentally ill?

Ik our experiences might not match. But everytime I try I am able to study for 1 or 2 hours properly max. After that I end up getting a panic or anxiety attack. I also feel hollow and sad all the time and not have desire to do anything but sleep. And I keep finding myself reading the same thing again and again or taking longer than usual to achieve a goal.

Do you know how I could deal with that?

tbh i get moments like this too. it sounds like youre really stressed. i usually try to make studying enjoyable and reward myself when i got through some parts. so like today, i motivated myself + made it so i can enjoy studying as much as possible doing the following:

listening to music that hypes me up / motivates me & helps me focus while studying

taking short breaks in between

sometimes talking to myself and explaining to myself out loud if im struggling to understand sth

once i finish a section, i reward myself by using my phone for example. for you, it might be sth else, like idk having a food you really like. going outside and enjoying the sun for a bit. whatever it is that is comforting and can push u 2 go further would be good imo (its hard to balance with using ur phone personally speaking bc u can get carried away n lose track of time)

reading out loud in general helps

writing down notes and then rereading them. writing them nicely also feels good so it helps me feel a bit better

sometimes watching videos about the topic can help if im struggling to focus when reading

writing a to-do list but rly breaking it down step by step. ticking stuff off the list is a good motivator

making sure to distinguish between what you NEED to do and what you WANT to do. extra things are extra, things without deadlines dont need to be done until the end

if sth is too difficult, i make note of it and come back to it later.

if ur struggling to focus, take a break and do sth that will help remotivate u and bring ur attention back

also its good to study while ur body is alright like, ur not too hungry or thirsty etc. i know thats basic but sometimes when ur busy u neglect urself

relating to point 12... also doing small stuff like a shower, washing ur face, etc can help u refocus, feel better, and get u more in the zone. at least for me

but tbh a lot of what ur mentioning to me sounds like chronic stress or some sort of stress overload.. is there a reason u can pinpoint as to why youre having these reactions? if youre in university or school, is it possible to receive disability support? when i was in university, i was provided with disability support which involved me seeing a woman 1-on-1 every week and we'd talk thru my achievements + what id have to do next n shed help me manage it better basically. i know they provide various accomodations depending on what ur specific issues are. so if ur school or uni has some sort of support for disability, seek it out. theres nothing to lose rly and u could rly benefit from it if u do gain sth from such a visit.

[revolutionfm]

꒰  EVENT 001  ꒱   ANNIVERSARY  CELEBRATION.

the  official  holiday  of  love  might  be  over,  but  romance  is  never  truly  out  of  season.  with  their  ten  year  anniversary  coming  up,  renee  carlisle  and  her  wife  taylor  moreno-carlisle  are  inviting  the  entire  company,  employees  as  well  as  all  signed  artists,  to  the  love  themed  party  of  the  year.  having  gotten  married  relatively  privately,  they  have  now  set  their  mind  on  making  their  anniversary  a  happy  occasion  for  everyone.  keeping  their  plans  to  renew  their  vows  at  this  occasion  private  for  now,  all  everyone  knows  is  that  this  event  will  include  a  live  set  by  danai  herself  and  endless  love  themed  amusements  for  the  guests  to  take  their  minds  off  of  their  daily  struggles.  renting  out  a  gigantic  old  farm  venue,  they  spared  no  expenses.  from  a  fair  with  several  love  themed  games  and  rides,  to  taking  boats  out  on  the  nearby  lake  and  feeding  the  swans  or  sending  cute  notes  to  your  loved  ones    —    there  is  no  end  to  the  amusements  one  might  find  here.  there  is  only  one  rule,  renee  and  taylor  are  asking  guests  to  leave  their  phones  at  the  front  gate,  wanting  to  keep  this  event  private  for  the  safety  and  comfort  of  all  its  more  or  less  famous  guests.  but  does  everyone  truly  follow  those  rules  ?    who  knows.

꒰ 001 ꒱   WHEN:   in  character,  the  weekend  getaway  takes  place  march  18  and  19.  out  of  character,  the  event  will  take  place  from  tuesday  14  march  4pm  est  /  9pm  gmt  to  tuesday  21  march  4pm  est  /  9pm  gmt.

꒰ 002 ꒱   WHERE:  the  carlisles  rented  out  an  old  farm  venue,  spanning  not  only  a  vast  amount  of  land  and  old  barns  but  also  considerable  guest  acommodations,  so  that  all  guests  can  spend  the  night  there.  the  farm  is  about  two  hours  outside  of  new york city  by  car. 

꒰ 003 ꒱   WHO:   all  revolution  records  employees  and  signed  artists.

꒰ 004 ꒱   HOW:   muns  are  invited  to  post  open  &  closed  starters  within  this  event  starting  tomorrow.  you  can  use  the  tag    revolution.event    for  all  your  event  related  posts,  including  starters,  but  also  social  media  posts,  lookbooks  or  anything  else  you  might  want  to  post.  you  are  allowed  to  continue  regular  threads  during  this  event  as  well.  there  will  also  be  the  option  for  your  muse  to  send  roses  with  notes  to  other  muses,  which  will  take  place  on  discord,  so  keep  your  eyes  peeled  for  that  the  upcoming  days.  more  information  on  this  will  be  made  available  through  discord.  

it  isn’t  all  to  often  you  get  invited  to  an  undercover  vow  renewal  super  bash,  but  it  is  certainly  reality  for  everyone  working  at  revolution  records.  so  now  it’s  time  for  your  muses  to  pack  their  things,  maybe  form  some  rideshares  and  make  their  way  out  of  the  city  for  a  weekend  of  fun.  generally  speaking,  they  are  invited  to  stay  there  from  saturday  around  noon,  until  late  afternoon  on  sunday.  their  stay,  including  accomodations  and  food,  is  paid  for  by  the  carlisles,  who  felt  after  their  super  private  wedding  the  vow  renewal  party  should  be  all  the  grander.  the  only  thing  they  request  is  for  all  the  guests  to  leave  their  phones  at  check-in.  this  party  is  expecting  a  fair  amount  of  high  profile  guests  and  they  are  supposed  to  feel  safe  and  free  attending,  just  like  everybody  else.  however,  there  might  be  some  ways  in  which  your  muse  could  trick  the  system.

saturday  is  the  time  for  partying  and  exploring  the  grounds.  there  is  certainly  enough  time  for  them  to  get  around  to  all  the  experiences  the  pair  has  prepared  for  them  as  well  as  catch  up  with  all  their  labelmates  and  co-workers.  they  might  also  send  out  roses  with  notes  to  their  ( more  or  less )  loved  ones,  that  will  be  delivered  on  sunday.  sunday  will  start  with  a  celebratory  brunch.  for  this  reason,  guests  have  been  asked  to  follow  a  semi  formal  dress  code,  encouraged  to  wear  outfits  with  red  or  pink  colours  to  celebrate  the  love.  the  brunch  will  be  followed  by  the  actual  surprise  vow  renewal,  featuring  a  touching  speach  by  cfo  nikhil,  and  celebration  afterwards.  there  will  be  champagne,  there  will  be  cake  and  pictures  taken  by  the  hired  photographer  but  most  importantly  a  performance  by  danai  herself. 

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I don't like ranking autism in any way but especially in general tiers and let me explain why.

So I'm what people would generally agree is a "tier one" autistic. I'm diagnosed, and I'm very low support needs. I work in home care for disabled individuals and I have worked with higher support needs autistic people. I won't share any more about my experiences out of respect for my client's privacy but I say that just to say that I'm not one of those low support needs people who has only ever interacted with other low support needs people. I am aware of the struggles of those who have higher support needs than I do.

So with that disclaimer out of the way I want to talk about why I don't like tiers. It's not helpful in my mind. I'll use myself as an example. I struggle most heavily with sensory issues and executive functioning. One of the biggest ways this impacts me is how I eat. I'm very grateful to live in a time where I can use vitamins to get around a lot of my issues with eating but there are certain foods, often foods that have fundamental neurients in them that I cannot physically force myself to swallow because of the way it feels. My executive functioning makes it very difficult to compleat certain iADLs. Before I started the diet I'm currently on I would sometimes starve rather than prepare my own food because of the difficulty of the task. I could prepare my own food sometimes but sometimes it was like climbing a mountain. Both the sensory issues and the executive dysfunction affect me in many other ways this is not an exhaustive list, but I don't want this post to be too horribly long. That said my motor issues are so mild that they're negligible (I have messy handwriting and a weird gait but I can correct for both of those if I focus) and I never have trouble speaking.

However there might be a different "tier one" autistic person who doesn't struggle with sensory issues at all and who's executive dysfunction is much milder than mine but who is hit or miss on their ability to speak in a way that they have to structure their life around, and who really struggles with motor function, maybe they even also have trouble feeding themselves because their motor functioning makes it difficult for them to get the food from their plate to their mouth. That is a whole separate issue from my own eating struggles which needs a whole different system for support.

Me and this other person would have completely separate needs, we have different struggles. We have some things in common like being sort of able to hold a job with the right accomodations, being able to mask more or less effectively in some but not all situations, and being on the lower end in terms of support needs. We both struggle with feeding ourselves but in very different ways. If you told someone tasked with helping me that I was a "tier one" autistic it wouldn't tell you which set of those two problems I have or how to help me it just tells you that I need less help than someone who's a tier two. How much less help? Who knows. On top of that a person might know me, who hasn't had a problem with speech since I was small, and assume incorrectly that all "tier ones" are able to speak all of the time, which would be an incorrect assumption. We already have a phrase to help categorize struggle. It's high support needs and low support needs. It's called the autism spectrum, not the autism pyramid scheme.

TL;DR: if someone told me I had a tier 3 autistic client that I needed to help that information would not illuminate anything about their needs for me. There is an enormous diversity of needs and struggles within any given tier. I think it's about as useful as high needs vs low needs and I think listing spacific struggles is far more useful if it is my business and you don't need to say a damn thing if it's not.

I suppose if tiers are helpful for you in understanding your own autism im not gonna police that, I just find it to be unhelpful.

[crypticpaw]

hi! i've been following your daily life on tiktok, and i've seen you found trouble working on your first job. would you mind telling what happened and why was it hard? i'm 24, also autistic, and i've never worked on something formal before, and this scares me so much. i have a bachelor degree on visual arts, but the pressure to be "really useful" is eating me alive, if you know what i mean. 😔 if you don't mind, of course, sorry for the trouble.

Yeah, sure!

So, short story, I got hired to manage a councilwoman's social media. She was very nice and the rest of team was very nice too and I felt welcomed, but it started to affect my diet and my sleeping schedule.

I worked during lunch, so I had to order fast food because I couldn't eat reheated meals because of food selectivity!

I had college classes that lasted until 10pm at night while having to wake up at 7am the next day, and that made me very tired!

I was working during the day and night out of my house and it started to overwhelm me so much, I couldn't function properly neither at work nor at college!

So I quit! I know how it is to struggle with the feeling of not doing enough, but you should never push yourself to try and keep it if it's overwhelming you!

20% - 30% of autistic people all around the world are unimployed, not because they don't want to or can't work, but because they need specific accomodations that certain jobs can't provide!

For example: In this job, if I could work from home or if I wouldn't be attending college, I would have been fine and not overwhelmed, but that wasn't the current situation!

Just keep this in mind: You shouldn't be fit for the job, the job should be fit for you!

[seasideretreat]

Man belongs to the Earth

It seems we do not need to believe we belong to the Earth to belong to it. Whereas some people dedicate their life to consecrating the mystery of existence, other simply go about their lives. To me it doesn't seem man's indebtedness to Earth really demands much veneration from us. If we just do our everyday business, their ought not to be a terrific necessity to acknowledge a greater consistency in the greatness of this Earthly stage on which we go about our affairs. The Earth doesn't demand any special attention from us. Of course, there is a lot of alternate situations in which we do have to be venerative towards cosmic forces. Today's climate movement should be virtually holy to us. Instead of going to church on sunday, we should go to something related to climate. Instead of reading the Bible, we should be reading literature on frugal living. Yet we can wonder if we wouldn't have been better off in the entirety of things when we'd simply stuck to the old religious order. Christianity never applauded the forward march of the industrial world system. Now, we are trapped with the factories and the cars, and there really isn't any way out, because people are so used to all these modern comforts, canned food, televisions, meat on the menu every day - truly, it seems for every healthy innovation modernity has brought us, there are a thousand insidious ones, although in many ways we live more securely than a thousand years ago, I mean, I wouldn't have liked to have been a peasant in medieval Europe; but those wretches were also trapped in a feudal order; I suppose nobody was happy then, but they had the firm belief in Jesus of course to aid them in their struggles. A man I heard once said that Christianity had brought "the perfect present" to Europe. Such things are no longer granted to us. In our time, the most important thing is to enjoy yourself. Actually, I once proposed that the aim of a nihilistic life is certainly to make every day perfect. The day is the only steadfast element of post-religious life. We want to wake up every day and experience the vast adventure of life. I personally have made significant strides in this regard, but for some reason I still feel a great contentment in watching the walls. That's why I write essays I suppose. It is better than watching the walls; oh my, how do I love writing essays! But I only discovered the excellence of essay-writing today. I always fantasized about writing an essay, but I never decided. I always believed that an essay required spontaneity, inspiration, authenticity. However, today I realized you can just decide to write an essay. It's like writing a poem, only more time-consuming - it takes thought, but at the same time it is just a contrivance.

Anyway, it seems action is both overrated and adorable. Without action, what is a day? Ultimately, the purpose of religion was also to provide industry to men. Yet it is more or less employment. Life is about things, so you gotta have a thing, but without a thing, there is likely still much to do during a day. And this is once again where employment plays a part. These days you can play video games, which can be a delightful experience, but it is not per se a business that makes you happy, whereas writing essays might, but this is just a contrivance, like playing Tetris or reading a book. Sure enough, these are activities, but they are not employment, but rather just deeds, and there is not any particular promise in these kind of sakes, which are just ways to get through your day. As I said, you need a thing, but a thing can be exhausting, so we return to the humdrum affairs of the week-end, but then we still are stuck in random inspiration. Therefore, we may write an essay, yet then there is still no college of gentlemen that we can conscribe with. A job is truly a thing, but also exhausting. And maybe it is not even really a thing. If it is just an employment, then we are not accomodated for the day. Still, a work-a-day enterprise is verily not much of a situation, I mean we ought not expect to be accomodated on work-a-day days. There is as much fulfillment to be gleaned from watching the walls, though it takes some experience to realize this. But this is where I introduce the concept of repetition. A day is lived for another day, but in the end we are well off living the same day every day, so we indulge ourselves in things that are not strictly speaking watching the walls. It's complicated.

You gotta wake up early to make the most of your time. I feel that so often we just waste a day - that is to say, we do not apply ourselves to our thing - because we woke up too late.

Any way you look at it, we spend our lives in idleness, even when there is a lot of action happening. Everything we do is either a contrivance or a repetition, and so it becomes impossible to make a mark on the world. I believe in conversation, so I call my mother every day and stand up sometimes from my desk, maybe get a cup of coffee; and you could go to the coffeeshop or something, or you can truly have a job, which is classical conversation, but as I have already said it's not necessarily a thing, although I might consider it employment. The working order wants us to do our job five times per week, which is perhaps actionable, but obviously you need a proper job, not something that makes you lose your sanity. And somehow I feel having leisure is probably closer to life than having a job, even though having a job puts you closer to the action. (This is something that writing essays can potentially fix: you have to think about what you write, and so you come very close to the world.) In some ways I am a very confused mind. I think sometimes that I can endeavor a job, even though I do have a job, and it is not an endeavor, it is an obligation. No matter how much we repeat, we will always have an impotence somewhere. You know, I like my job, to some extent, but it also fills me with nervousness. Working really fills me with dread. Nevertheless, being free also scares me. Free days are pleasant, but they are also difficult. It is a challenge I enjoy however. The thing is, we have to see that it is not really a challenge, it is just repetition. The amount of work in the world is pretty much infinite, but our imagination is bounded by rigorous borders. It takes me so much energy to figure out which book to read, for instance; much better to just have a job, then you don't have to think about it at all. But as I said I really feel good when I just watch the walls. Watching the television is sometimes bad. Watching the walls makes me feel more alive: you know, I never had a girlfriend and maybe it is better that way, you see the thing about life is very much to find meaning in the vast indifference of nature; and women embody that nature, they embody the indifference. I think that is a most apt remark, if I may say so myself.

[ahplindia01]

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[msfbgraves]

My friend has recently acquired a disability and now whenever they need an accomodation that is abnormal, they do this awkward 'shaming myself before you shame me-thing'

And I'm so not down with that.

They were unable to use sunscreen because they're violently allergic to all the perfumes people put in there as a matter of course. I walk slowly and, especially on a beach, with quite great difficulty.

The reason we were on the beach during nearly 40C heat was that it is the near only public space that allows you to bring your own food; near the only food my friend can safely eat.

The problem, though, was as follows - allow them to stay in the sun too long and, covered or not, they'd quite likely burn. But make me walk too fast, I'll hurt myself or pass out. So I gave them a head start to shade, after which they waited there while I sat down, caught my breath, drank a bottle of water and limped on to my car, where they joined me and sat inside while I loaded our stuff in, again, lest they burn horribly.

"Look at us struggling," they said in that faux funny tone.

I thought we'd been damn clever actually, getting our needs met by taking them into account and acting accordingly. No one was hurt, and we reached our goal as comfortably as possible.

"I refuse to be ashamed," I said. "We're managing, and well, without inconveniencing anyone. Not even ourselves."

But it really hurt me. Formerly abled people are always so apologetic. "Oh, I'm very slow." "Oh, I need help, like some idiot."

And I keep thinking: to they think needing consideration is shameful? Do they think my needing their consideration is shameful?

If you shame yourself for taking the actions you need to take to live a good life, how can you ever expect to live well? If you shame yourself out of fear of reprisal from the ableds, do you think you deserve it?

I don't shame myself for getting by, and if somebody tries, I will do my best to stay civil, but I will give them a piece of my mind.

People shame me a lot for being slow or clumsy, and I never go along with it other than to say: "Yes, but I never promised you any different, did I?" Because I refuse to live in a world where being slow or clumsy is shameful.

I know this perplexes them, and invariably, they figure out I have a disability and come rushing back, absolutely contrite and full of apologies. "I didn't know you have a disability," they say, and the If 'd have known you had an excuse, I wouldn't have shamed you goes unspoken. To which I always reply: "You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you," and the I don't owe you my medical information not to be publicly humiliated also goes unspoken, but rarely unheard. "Well, I'm sorry," this usually ends with, and that I will take, because they should be sorry, not for shaming a cripple, but for shaming anyone at all who did nothing but exist in their vicinity.

I will not be shamed for living the best life I can, and I'm hurt by the fact that others seem to think that I should be, really. That refusing to take harassment is a radical stance, and the only way to politely pre-empt it is to punish yourself first. Because you deserve it.

No.

I deserve dignity, same as anyone.

I may not always get it, but that is the other person's fault for mistreating people.