#and they talked about how they value me as an employee and how i am very detailed and learn well

[ihamtmus]

i heard so many nice things about myself from my boss and manager today, it feels good ☺️

[gucciwins]

Y/N just wants Harry to like her.

Word count: 5964

A/N: Friends!!!!! I am sorry to have disappeared but I am back. Yes, I am aware this is a Halloween/October story but you're getting it now mid November (that has been going by fast). I won't work on any holiday stories because I have no idea what to write. So if you have an idea and want me to write it feel free to shoot me an ask.

Now happy reading! I love you

+

Many people go to work ready to return home, but not Y/N. No, she walks in every day with a smile and a pep in her step. She greets her coworkers by name and occasionally brings baked goods she knows everyone will enjoy. Y/N loves her job, and she’s happy to go every day.

Y/N went from working in a job she hated because it was filled with men constantly belittling her and gaslighting her that she was doing her job wrong when she was actually excelling. It all got to be too much, and Y/N decided to quit. Thank goodness she did because soon into her job search, she received an email from Carla Crain asking her if she’d be interested in joining her company. Y/N went to the interview, and after basically being pitched her dream job, she accepted and entered as head engineer. 

She’d be lying if she wasn’t nervous starting, but the people Carla had hired all shared the same values on work and life. Y/N knew she’d be in safe hands. The company is small but slowly growing. It allows for every employee to get to know each other and everyone to remember that together, they can be successful. Y/N had been at the job for two years and, with time, brought new coworkers. 

There is Estrella, who loves to talk to you about astrology, ironically enough. She states that the invisible string theory is real and that if everyone tracked it, they would notice just how small the world is. 

Carmy has a tough exterior, but once anyone gets him talking, he never stops. He loves chatting about his family and his pet Pitbull named Daisy. 

Maeve is petite, and every other month comes in with a new color in their hair. Y/N enjoys it when everyone in the office places bets on what it will be. 

Tatum is from Scotland and loves to remind everyone when they all go out for drinks on the weekend. 

Chessy is the only one who works remotely, but when she comes in, she is always laughing in the office. They also all get a basket of fresh fruit and vegetables from her garden. 

Overall, Y/N knows she had the best coworkers and wouldn’t change her job for the world, but as their company grows, so does the need in their team. The newest hire is Harry Styles, who has come in as a computer technician to help develop their website and also help with any internal security. Honestly, all she knew was that it was a complex job. 

Harry was on the quiet side. She tried to start conversations with him, but he always seemed to brush her off. At first, Y/N wondered if she should take it personally but soon learned he did that to everyone. Even though he didn’t open up to them, they still invited Harry to join them. 

The thing was, he rejected all their dinners. Y/N loved going to a Korean BBQ Maeve introduced them to, and Harry claimed not to eat meat (not that she didn’t think it wasn’t true. Chessy was vegetarian, after all.) They would go to a bar and share a few drinks when they knew they would all be having a long weekend off. Harry always claimed he had an early morning. It didn't matter if they offered to meet earlier. Y/N’s favorite nights were trivia nights that happened at a local brewery. Y/N was a beat, especially in history. Harry declined, and this one hurt her the most.

 Everyone would ask Harry to join. 

Karaoke. Can’t hold a tune.

Bowling. Too loud. 

It seems there was an excuse for everything.

Everyone began to stop inviting him out, and while Y/N didn’t enjoy being told no, she would send notes to the office with the time and place of what they would be doing. She’d always keep an eye on the door, but Y/N went home disappointed each time.

The thing was, Y/N was determined to make a friend out of Harry. She soon learned large public settings must be overwhelming for him and decided to find a new way to approach him. Everyone took lunch at the same time in the office except for Harry. Sometimes, they all ate at the sub shop across the street. Most times, Y/N brought food from home, and she cooked. While she liked eating out, Y/N preferred a home-cooked meal. She caught Harry taking his lunch half an hour later than her and used that to her advantage. 

They had a conference that always remained empty as everyone preferred the main lounge. Harry went in there every day for his lunch hour. One day, Y/N walks in, smiles at him, and sits as far away as she can. She made sure to only be there for ten minutes. The next day, she stayed for twenty and wished him a nice lunch when she left.  

Slowly, Harry begins to spare her glances, but Y/N keeps to herself until the day she sits across from him. 

“Hi, Harry. Is it okay for me to sit here?” 

No answer. 

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” 

He fidgets with his fork. 

“I saw a lime bike out front. Did you ride that today?” 

Harry looks at her briefly before staring back at his plate. 

“I’ve always wanted to try one, but I’m honestly scared of being hit by a car. Chessy lets me ride hers when I go down to visit her. She’s got beautiful trails. You’d probably enjoy it.” 

Y/N thinks that’s enough for today and excuses herself. She doesn’t realize Harry noticed she didn’t take a bite of her lunch. When she goes back to her desk after using the restroom, she finds three chocolate chip cookies sitting on her desk. Y/N rushes to try one, doesn’t even think of who delivered them or that a green-eyed man was standing right outside waiting to hear her reaction. 

With time, it seems Harry is coming to appreciate Y/N’s presence. He has never expressed it, but she knows because he nods when he agrees to something she says or tightens the hold on his fork when Y/N shares something upsetting. Y/N had not gotten more than two words out of him. At this point, Y/N felt like Harry knew everything about her; all she knew was that he had the most beautiful eyes, and his hair always looked soft. 

One day, after many lunches together, she finds Harry reading a book. Y/N knows he might want quiet, but her curiosity gets the best of her. 

“Any good?”

Harry looks up and grimaces. “Think it’s really boring.” 

Y/N laughs because she wasn’t expecting that response. “Then put it down.” 

He shakes his head. “Don’t like not knowing the ending.”

Y/N shrugs, “if you don’t like a book, I wouldn’t put myself through the torture of it all. Skip to the end if you're curious.” She understands she spoke too much and excuses herself. 

The next day, Harry is sitting in his usual spot, but this time, a new book is in his hand. Y/N bites back a smile. 

“What’s this one about?”

“My sister recommended it,” he defends. 

Y/N isn’t halted by his harsh tone. “What’s it about?” 

“Well, it’s Pride and Prejudice.” He shows her the book cover. 

“Like the movie?” Y/N asks.

Harry laughs, and Y/N feels successful. His laughter rings in her ears. It’s a lovely sound, and she wishes to hear it more. “Yeah…I like the movie.” 

“Me too,” she gushes. “Do you think I’d like the book?”

He frowns, “if you like Jane Austen.” 

“Might have to pick it up next time I’m in the shops.”

+

Their interactions are solely during their lunches but sometimes spills out during work. Y/N seemed to have an issue with her computer and radioed IT. She needed to submit her document, but her desktop appeared to freeze whenever she opened a new file. Harry knocked on her door, and she welcomed him in. Y/N explained the issue, and Harry was quick to get to work. It was only a few minutes when she noticed that her document was open and her computer wasn’t having a meltdown.

“Thank you so much, Harry!” Y/N cheers, knowing he saved her. 

Harry shrugs because it’s his job. “You have a nice photo.” He’s pointing to her picture frame on her desk. It’s a picture of her and a dog in Iceland at the end of her hike. It was taken back when she was nineteen years old. 

“Thank you. I took that on my first solo trip.” She bites her lip, hoping Harry takes the bait. 

“Where to?” He asks curiously. 

She silently cheers, “Iceland.”

“Is that your dog?” 

“I actually found him mid-hike and took him back with me. I hoped to see his owner on the trail, but there was no luck. He didn’t even seem worried. Once I returned to the car park, his owner was there. After that hike, I decided I liked the company of a dog and returned home to adopt Tutter, a Jack Russel Terrier who loves to play fetch.”

“Why isn’t Tutter on your desk?” 

Y/N feels her face flush, “now, don’t be mean. I love my son, but that trip taught me I can do anything I set my mind to, whether alone or with company.”

Harry gives her the slightest smile. “I-I learned Italian because I always dreamed of having an Italian home.”

Y/N’s eyes brighten. Harry is opening up to her, and instead of pushing, she offers more of herself. “I’ve dreamed of visiting. The Amalfi coast is my dream to swim in. Silly, I know,” she brushes off, trying to downplay her excitement. 

Harry doesn’t let her. “You’ll make it.”

He finally excuses himself. Y/N is happy for the rest of the day because she realizes Harry is allowing her in.

+

September means the preparations for Halloween have begun. It starts with little things, from coasters and mugs to the occasional treat. One day, a tiny spider sits on his desk for a second. Harry believed it was real until it began to glow purple. Harry kept it on his desk next to his sticky notes. He doesn't do anything about it; there’s no need. By the second week, the office is entirely decorated. Harry admits a few decorations have scared him, especially the skeleton in the corner of the restroom.

It’s a quiet day when he’s walking by the break room on his way to the secluded office to have lunch when he hears people talking. Harry pauses because he hears Y/N’s voice mixed in with everyone else. 

“But it seems like he doesn’t like us,” Harry hears quietly. 

“It’s hard,” Y/N defends. “You’re all extroverts. It can be overwhelming.” 

Harry knows she’s trying for them to understand.

“But Carla is all about unity in the office. This is a concern.”

“It’s not, Carmy.” Y/N shuts him down, clearly upset she had to defend him.

Harry decides he’s heard enough and decides to eat lunch alone in his car. He’s thankful it was a sandwich and nothing he had to heat up. For the entire lunch and the rest of the day, all he thinks about are the words of his coworkers. 

Y/N looked for Harry, excited to talk about a book she started, but Harry was nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t have been concerned, but it’s clear no one saw him since before lunch. She wishes Harry could confide in her even if a fraction of what she shares with him/ 

The next day, everyone walks into the office at their usual time, everyone making their rounds together to the break room to prepare their coffees and store their lunch in the fridge. When Y/N walks in, she sees her coworkers huddled around the table and peeks around them to see what has captured their attention. There on the table is a box of Halloween cookies from a bakery uptown with a note attached. 

Enjoy - HS

Y/N lets a smile take over her face. She knew Harry cared about them but understood why he finally did something. She tells her coworkers they owe him an apology, and they all agree. Y/N makes sure to head to Harry’s office and thank him for the cookies. Harry tells her it’s nothing. She bounces away to her office, where Estrella, Carmy, Maeve, and Tatum are standing outside her door. 

“Can you come with us? Feel like he likes you.” Tatum tells her. 

Y/N sighs and tells them to follow her. Once again, she knocks on his door, and they all file in when he welcomes her in. Harry looks at them confused. 

“Uh, is there an issue?” Harry asks, concerned. 

Carmy starts, “we want to apologize if you overheard us yesterday.” 

“Right,” Harry sighs, knowing it might be a good time to share with them. If he trusted Y/N and she trusted them, he knew he could also start to. 

“It was wrong of us,” Maeve continues. “Y/N raves about how smart and nice you are, but we don’t get to see that. We’re sorry.” 

Everyone else repeats the sentiment while Harry looks at Y/N, who offers him an encouraging smile. She must know his anxiety is through the roof. 

Harry takes a deep breath, “right, uh.” He looks down at his shoes, untied lace on his black Adidas. “I struggle with social anxiety and new environments. It’s better than when I was a kid, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed even more when being the new guy.” 

“No worries. We get that,” Tatum expresses. “Estrella gets bad migraines.” 

“Don’t air other people’s personal stuff,” Y/N reminds them. 

“We’re sorry,” they offered one last time. “Thanks for the cookies.” 

After that, they hurried out while Y/N stayed behind. 

“I wanted to apologize,” he begins.

“You don’t–” Harry cuts her off. “You’ve made me feel comfortable.”

Y/N sighs, letting her shoulders drop. “Not enough, it seems.” 

“It can just be too much sometimes.”

“I-I get panic attacks.” Y/N shares, surprising herself. “When I overwhelm myself, it can happen. It’s uncommon and has not happened at work, but I understand.” 

“Thank you for sharing,” Harry tells her honestly. “Lunch?” 

“See you in a bit then.”

+

Through September, Y/N and Harry have lunch together every day. They read together, Harry more into classic literature, and Y/N loving to devour a juicy romance that has her pausing every few minutes, trying her best not to scream because the love interest brushed hands. Some days, Y/N will do a sudoku game while Harry does the daily crossword. Y/N likes to solve the Wordle of the day and most times asks Harry for help if she fears she might not get it. Some days, Y/N brings in her laptop during lunch because she is behind and needs to catch up. Harry reminds her to relax. He knows it’s easier said than done, so he tells her about the book he’s reading or asks about her dog and the snacks he eats. 

Before she knows if they’ve made it to October. One of the best months of the year. Y/N loves planning events, and this is one she wishes Harry would say yes to. She knocks on his office door, and Harry freezes, staring at his computer screen. He glances at the calendar; it's the first Monday of the month, and Harry knows they’ve planned a fun event. 

Harry is practicing his excuse when Y/N walks in with a bright smile, wearing a “Great Pumpkin” shirt with Snoopy and Charlie Brown. She has told him it’s her favorite movie to watch during the month and “The Conjuring” Harry wasn’t sure how the sweetest girl he knew could handle a horror film like that. He had told her she was fearless.

“Hi, Y/N, pretty shirt.” 

Y/N looks down at it as if she had forgotten what she was wearing. She beams at his compliment. “Thank you, Harry!” 

Harry asks how her day is going and shares how there was traffic on the way down and how she didn’t have time to stop by her favorite coffee shop because there was a line out the door. “Pumpkin spice isn’t even that good, H. I mean, it’s okay, but I wanted my coffee.”

He laughs at her pouting and promises to make her one during lunch. She perks up at his mention of their shared time together. 

“Speaking of our time together. We plan to go to a haunted pumpkin patch in the next town over if you want to join us. It’s two weeks from now, so it's the 21st.” Harry could hear the excitement in her voice and didn’t think he could say no to her.

“Everyone is going?”

“We invited everyone, but only Carmy, Estella, Maeve, Tatum, and myself are going. Carla was not for it. Dan is warming up to us but still says no. Though he did agree for trivia next week.”

Before he can stop himself, he says, “yes.”

“You will?” Y/N answers surprised. 

“Mhm…uh, it sounds like fun,” he says unconvincingly.

Y/N’s smile brightens, “I’m not hung on haunts, but they’ve got amazing apple cider you’ve got to try with me.” 

“Happy to join,” he tells her honestly. “Let me know the ticket cost or if we need to purchase our own.”

She nods eagerly. It’s clear Harry has just made her day. 

+

The day comes faster than he’s ready, and while a part of him is excited, Harry feels his nerves will get the best of him. Y/N had told them no one was dressing up in costume and even went as far as to send him a photo of her outfit to assure him she wasn’t playing a joke with him. She was wearing bell bottoms with a Mickey Mouse in a pumpkin shirt. She told him it was his favorite to wear each year. 

Harry knew it would be cold, so he wore a simple Halloween shirt in his closet and loose-fitting jeans. His jacket in his car he knew would keep him warm throughout the night. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone (only Y/N) but also wanted to look nice outside of the office for once. When Harry parked, Y/N told him she’d wait by the entrance for him, and he couldn’t miss her as she had a cute pumpkin headband on.

It seemed Y/N spotted him, too, because she rushed towards him. “Hi, Harry,” she greeted with a cheery smile.

“Hi, you look lovely,” he offered her a small compliment that made his hands sweat.

“You’re too sweet. Come on, we were waiting on you.” She grabs his hand and pulls him along to where everyone else is. 

Everyone offers their greeting, and he receives a few compliments on his tame outfit. It’s an old Halloween shirt he got at a vintage shop in New Orleans five years ago. His sister went on a trip and asked him to join. Harry could never say no to her. 

Harry notices everyone begins to drift off into conversations, but Y/N stays by his side. He takes the time to admire her as she looks around at all the decorations. There are a lot of people, but it seems they are heading to the pumpkin patch. There are stalls selling sweet treats, and he keeps in mind to buy Y/N a cider, remembering she mentioned loving it. Harry has always thought being in a relationship to be intimidating. He loves love but struggles to put himself out there, to allow someone else to get to know him, but here is Y/N, who managed to worm her way into his life, knocking down all of his walls. 

Harry likes Y/N.

It’s something he took a long time to figure out, but when he realized the excitement of seeing her each morning, he looked forward to it. He let it consume him, but he had no idea if she could feel the same way. 

“Did you drive here, Harry?” Y/N asks, breaking their silence. 

“I did,” he answers. 

“Do you think you could maybe take me home?” She brushes her hair out of her face. “I came with Tatum, but she’s been wanting to take the time to connect with Estella, if you know what I mean,” Y/N gestures to them kissing on hay bales. 

Harry had no idea that there were feelings between them. “I can do that, Y/N.” 

“Great!” She cheers gratefully. “I owe you an apple cider, then.” 

Y/N eagerly walks them to the stand, and before she can pay for both, Harry slips the kind older lady a twenty walking away with their drinks. Y/N stays behind, shocked, but quickly catches up, pouting at Harry. “Harry, I was going to pay.”

He shook his head, “my mum would have my head if I let you pay.”

Y/N bends her head, careful to take a sip of the warm drink. “Well, thank you.”

Maeve bounces over to them. “Hi beauties, we’re ready to start if you all are.” 

Harry eyes Y/N, waiting to see her response. Y/N offers her friend a large grin, and Harry agrees he’s ready. He throws away their ups, and once he finds Y/N with the group, he slithers to stand behind her. Y/N offers him a tense smile as the group tries to decide who will lead. 

“I can go in front,” Harry offers, sensing no one wanting to make the first move. Everyone thanks him and heads to the first maze. Y/N informs him it’s once based on the catacombs in France. 

“There’s a movie based on the catacombs,” Y/N shares as they walk together.

“As Above So Below,” Harry says. “It spooked me.” 

“You’ve seen it,” she laughs, holding onto his arm for a second, unable to contain her excitement. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“It’s a good one,” he agrees. 

They fall into silence as the chatter of their coworker fills the air. Harry sees Y/N get fidgety, but she’s smiling as she leads the way to the short line. “I’m actually really nervous,” she tells Harry. 

“We’ll be fine. I got you,” he assures Y/N.

Harry extends his hand, and she accepts it. He intertwines their fingers and pulls her along as the line moves slowly. Y/N does her best not to think about the feeling of his hand, but it fits perfectly between hers. She feels her hand begin to sweat and wants to pull it away, but Harry has a firm grip on her. 

“Is it okay?” Harry nods, gesturing to their hands. 

“Safe, uh, I feel safe.”

The worker asks how many, and Y/N peeks behind Harry to tell her six. Harry is grateful Y/N knows when to take charge because while he can lead a scary maze and knows everyone is dressed in costumes, he still feels nervous speaking to strangers. Harry squeezes her hand once in thanks. She gives him two quick squeezes in return.

Harry guides them in. Y/N lets go of his hand to hide behind Harry, her hands on his shoulder as she peeks behind him. There is a group ahead where she can hear the people in front screaming, which allows her to prepare for the scare, if that is even possible. 

Her eyes widen in amazement as she takes in the darkness of the building. Everything is covered in black cloth. She can see the spots where actors will jump out. Y/N mumbles an apology to Harry for holding on to him tight. Estella is behind her, screaming at everything that moves. Harry steps through the curtain, and she feels her hold on him loosen. As she is stepping closer to reach him, a man screams in her face, making her rush forward and propel Harry into a wall. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Y/N apologized repeatedly as Harry rushed them to finish the maze. She felt her heartbeat in her throat and knew she needed to calm down. One look at Harry, and he rushed her to a dark corner, not concerned about their friends. 

“Y/N? I’m okay. You’re okay.” Harry tried assuring her.

She repeated it in her head. They were okay. They got out of the dumb maze, and Harry wasn’t hurt. It took her a few minutes to realize she had a panic attack. Y/N had not even felt it coming and didn’t think a haunted house would trip her into one, but with all the overthinking she had been doing, it made sense it led to this.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Y/N bashfully looks away from him. She can’t believe she embarrassed herself in front of him like this. 

“No apologies,” he brushes her off and doesn’t ask her any questions, only to ensure she is okay. 

They rejoin the group after ten minutes by the looks of everyone's sympathetic smiles. She knows they saw her freak out, but they’re her friends. She knows she’s in safe hands with everyone, especially Harry.

“What’s the next maze?” Y/N asks cheerfully. 

And so they continue on. 

The next maze is much smoother than the first. Carmy leads, tucking Harry and Y/N in the middle with Tatum and Estella in the back. That order seems to comfort Y/N for the next few mazes. Each worker makes her scream but then falls into giggles when Harry traces comforting shapes on her hand. It takes her mind off these scarers trying to get her to scream and instead focus on the gentle touches of her crush. 

While doing the mazes is fun, Y/N is soaking up talking to Harry in line. They’re in a new environment where they do not need to discuss work. She feels free to ask him anything, but sometimes she is unsure where to start. Y/N doesn’t know if she wants to hear about his weekend plans or ask him about his favorite movie or who his favorite Muppet character is? 

Talking to Maeve and everyone else is easy because she’s gone out with them. She knows them personally, but with Harry, he always kept that guard up, and now she’s unsure what to do if he decides to keep it up. 

To her surprise, Harry always starts the conversation with her. Harry shares about a new show he started watching and how it makes him anxious for the main character when they do something out of character. When he asks Y/N if there is a show she recommends, her mind goes blank, and the first thing that comes to mind is “Fleabag.” 

“It’s the saddest but most comforting show I have ever seen,” Y/N gushes. 

“With Phoebe Waller-Bridge?” 

“Mhmm…the second season has Andrew Scott. Irish treasure.” 

“Paul Mescal,” he adds. 

“Hozier.” 

“Saoirse Ronan,” they say in unison before falling into fits of giggles. 

“You’ve got taste, Styles.” 

“As do you.” 

The line moves, and they change conversations to talk about the best musicals they’ve seen. Y/N swears “Waitress” is the best thing created, but Harry tells her “Moulin Rouge” is his favorite. Y/N loves how easily the conversation with Harry seems to flow. He feels like a long-lost friend. Someone who once was in her life has now found his way back to her. 

Not only is he getting along with her, but everyone is getting to see the Harry she had come to know. The one who makes cheesy jokes and loves to hear every detail of the story being told. It turns out he and Maeve frequent the same record store. There’s a Stevie Nicks vinyl Harry is on the hunt for, and Maeve promised to keep an eye out for him. Tatum learns Harry can play guitar and asks him to show them sometime. Something he agreed to with pink cheeks. Y/N knew tonight was a big step for Harry, and she was glad everyone made him feel comfortable.

As the night was coming to an end, the maze lines got shorter, and the more Y/N screamed. It made her laugh right after, but still not her favorite part of the night. Before the cold can settle in, they all call it a midnight night. Tatum and Estella head out hand in hand. Y/N can’t wait for the details of that on Monday. Carmy is telling Harry a story, so Maeve uses the opportunity to remind Y/N to make a move.

“It’s now or never, girlfriend.” 

Y/N rolls her eyes, “please don’t pressure me on this.” 

“Y/N that man is, head over heels for you. If I was antisocial this is not an event I would ever do. Unless someone I fancied asked.” 

Y/N toes her food in the sand and, in a low voice, asks, “do you really think he likes me?” 

Maeve smiles, brushing Y/N’s hair out of her eyes. “That man lit up every time your eyes were on him. I don’t know Harry as well as you do, but I can notice a guy with a crush from miles away. Trust me on this.” 

Y/N backs down, relaxing, “okay.” 

“Good. Now text me when you get home. Carmy’s got me.” Maeve gives her a tight hug and then pulls Carmy away from Harry. 

He walks over to her with a shy smile on his face. “Have a good time?” 

“The best,” she tells him. “Though I might need another apple cider. Think my heart needs it.”

“By all means, lead the way.” 

After getting one last warm apple cider, they reach Harry’s car. It’s an electric car because he’s conscious of his environmental impact and knows one person can go a long way into the future. Harry opens Y/N’s car door and waits until he sees her seated and buckled to close her door. As he gets ready to drive off, he turns on the heater, knowing if he’s cold, Y/N must be too. 

The car ride starts off quietly, Y/N guiding him every so often when to make a turn. Y/N sees her favorite coffee shop and knows she is almost home. “That was fun,” Harry starts. “I’m happy I went.” 

“Mhmm…it was a good time. Glad you joined us,” she tells him honestly. 

Harry notices at a red light that she’s fidgeting with her hands and thinks he might still be cold. “Do you need me to turn up the heater?” 

Y/N shakes her head, “no, sorry, I’m fine.” 

Harry drives down a few more streets when Y/N tells him to turn left. “It’s the third one on the right.” 

He parks right outside her driveway. From here, he can see her decorations hung up. It’s decorated charmingly. It’s clear no scaring would happen here. She’s got two pumpkins outside her door. One has stars carved all around; the other is a cat on a witch’s broom. Bat lights are hanging up the railing of the steps. She even has a few inflatables. His favorite has to be the one of Mickey Mouse as a vampire.

“Thank you for driving me home. I appreciated it.” She smiles at him, and he returns it. Harry gets out of the car and opens her door. 

“Let me walk you up.” 

Y/N feels her cheeks burn and leads the way. 

“We’re planning trivia soon,” Y/N says, testing the waters. 

“Hmm…only if you’re on my team.” 

“We would all be on the same team,” his flirting going over her head.

Harry’s face turns pink, “uh, right.” 

She laughs, placing her hand on his bicep. “Only joking.”

Y/N pulls him in, whispering good night, except when she pulls away, she locks eyes with his emerald eyes, and it’s like she’s in a trance. She feels herself leaning in closer, and before she knows it, Y/N presses her lips to Harry in an airy kiss.

She pulls back, shocked. “Sorry,” she breathed out. “I-I should have asked.” 

“Ask me,” he pleads. 

“What?” Y/N isn’t sure if she heard him correctly. 

Harry doesn’t care anymore. He raises his hand to rest on her cheeks. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?” 

She feels how close he is. She can feel his breath mixing with hers. “Yes.” 

When their lips meet, Y/N swears she feels time stop. Harry is starting slow as he begins to learn what she likes.  Y/N places a hand on his chest, needing to have a secure hold as she feels him take her breath away. Her emotions are all over the place. His lips are smooth as they move against hers in a dance that feels like they’ve done a hundred times before. Harry deepens the kiss, pushing her up against the door, making Y/N grab a fistful of his shirt, not wanting him to pull away. Y/N lets herself get wrapped up in all her feelings because she knows that a kiss this special means it won’t be her only one, and she finally allows all her feelings to pour into the kiss. 

Y/N isn’t sure how long they spent kissing outside her door. It seems she’s lost track of time since she got a taste of Harry. “I don’t want you to go,” she mutters against his lips when she feels him begin to pull away.

“I’ll see you Monday,” he promises. 

“Too far.

Harry laughs, “you can call me tomorrow when you wake up.” Knowing she likes to sleep in, he would rather not wake her up. 

“Okay,” she whispers in defeat. 

“Good night,” Harry takes a step back. 

Y/N bites her lip and gives him a wave. “Do you want a kiss goodbye?” 

Harry can’t say no.

+

Monday morning, Y/N walks in with a large smile. It makes everyone stop and stare. She makes her rounds, wishing everyone a good morning, and saves Harry for last. 

“Hi, Harry.” She chirps. 

“Morning,” he answers timidly. 

Y/N pouts because he didn’t even look at her. She wanted to see his beautiful eyes. “So I was thinking…” she trails off. 

Harry turns, giving her his undivided attention, and Y/N’s smile widens. “How does a date sound to you?”

“A date?” He echoes. 

“With me,” she giggles.

“Best thing I've heard all day.”

Y/N claps her hands together, “wonderful.” 

“How does this weekend sound?” 

“Too far,” she teases. “Saturday?” 

“I’ll pick you up,” he promises. 

“Good. Good.” Y/N lingers by his door. 

“Yes, love?” 

Y/N feels her cheeks heat up but doesn’t look away from him. “Are we still on for lunch?” 

Harry gives her a dimpled grin, “I’ve got a new book for us to discuss.” 

Y/N tells him she can’t wait and walks away. Harry watches her go, and as if she can feel his stare on her, she turns around and gives him a wink. Harry knows he’s way in over his head with someone as amazing as Y/N, but he can’t wait to prove each day to her how much he deserves to be with her.

[corrupted-creatures]

Ugh okay I need to talk about Swatch and Spamton again because they make me insane. Long post under the cut

Been thinking about how Spamton and Swatch talk about each other (specifically in Swatch's in-game dialogue and the Q&A from the Spamton Sweepstakes) and how it reflects their thoughts and feelings on Spamton's downfall and eviction, the NEO body situation, and each other. I am absolutely reading too much into this but I think about them a lot and their dynamic fascinates me.

So during the Spamton Sweepstakes Q&A, Spamton says this in response to a question regarding Swatch:

I'm specifically referring to the second paragraph here. Spamton claims that Swatch only pretended to be his friend (and a close one at that, what with the "shoulder to cry on" statement), and that they only listened to Queen in the end. It is clear just in this statement that Spamton holds some degree of anger towards Swatch.

Personally, while I don't subscribe to the Acid Theory myself, I do think that Swatch may have been at least somewhat involved in Spamton's eviction (beings that they're a high-ranking employee of Queen and all). Perhaps they were the one to deliver the news to Spamton, perhaps they helped gather his things in preparation, I'm not sure. Regardless, they didn't do anything to stop it (that Spamton knew of, at least) and Spamton likely felt betrayed by this. After all, someone he viewed as a close friend (or if your a swatchton enjoyer like me, romantic interest/crush) wasn't there when he needed them most. With how catastrophically his life was falling apart, who could blame him for being upset?

Then there's the issue of the NEO body. We know that it's a very closely guarded secret that nobody is to mess with, and I wouldn't doubt if Swatch or the Swatchlings thwarted at least a few of Spamton's attempts to reach it. To Spamton, though, that is his one ticket to freedom/Heaven, and he needs it. Being denied that ticket in favor of upholding Queen's orders undoubtedly hurt Spamton and led to the anger we see, however justified you may believe it to be. His past experiences with the Addisons certainly don't help. From Spamton's perspective, I can see how he might think that Swatch only pretended to be his friend, though I don't think he fully believes that himself personally.

On the other side of the coin, we have Swatch. In their shop dialogue, they refer to Spamton with far more impersonal terms than Spamton uses to refer to them (see: "valued customer"). While it's easy to conclude that they simply didn't view Spamton as a particularly close friend based on their language, I don't believe that to be the case.

We know that Swatch has a personal connection to the NEO body. They helped turn the Lighter's hopes and dreams into a reality in creating it, after all, which is something they speak of quite fondly. We also know that it is powerful, dangerous, and most importantly, corrupted data. It is locked away in the basement due to the risk it could pose if it fell into the wrong hands. All of this to say that Spamton's repeated attempts to break into the basement to steal the NEO body, even going as far as impersonating Swatch to do so, was almost certainly a massive breach of Swatch's trust. The fact it wasn't a one-time offence would only further worsen their perception of Spamton (which is what I believe contributed to the vitriolic tone Swatch has when you talk to them after defeating Spamton NEO).

I don't think that a major betrayal of trust is the only reason for Swatch's total disconnect when talking about Spamton, though. If we are to believe that Swatch was genuinely close with Spamton (which I do), then it would make sense that they hold a lot of guilt regarding his situation.

For as high up in Queen's mansion as they are, Swatch could not prevent Spamton's eviction, nor could they disobey Queen's orders no matter how much they may wish to (something I would like to get into in another post). They did not- could not- stop any of the terrible things that happened to Spamton. Then they had to kick him out of the mansion over and over again, denying Spamton what he sought because of a desperation Swatch did not understand. And then, when Spamton finally succeeded in acquiring the NEO body and was quickly defeated by Kris after, Swatch had to grapple with that guilt as well. I think they feel like they failed Spamton above all else.

Both Swatch and Spamton feel the other has betrayed them. At the same time, though, they both care so deeply about the other that these betrayals (perceived or otherwise) have wounded them in terrible ways. There is a lot of guilt there, too, mainly on Swatch's end. Spamton's downfall, and especially the NEO body, have torn such a massive rift between the two that repairing it would take a lot of time and patience. I do, however, feel that it's not only possible, but feasible that they could as they certainly still hold the other close to their hearts in their own ways (and I've seen some fics that explore that mending beautifully).

Anyways yeah that's my thoughts about a couple of simple lines of dialogue said by characters I think about way too much. If you want to know more of my thoughts on these two, be it individually, in a ship sense, or otherwise, feel free to drop me an ask! I would love to share more of my thoughts about Swatch and Spam <3 Thanks for reading!!

EDIT: Reworded a couple of things for clarity

[haru-dipthong]

How I feel about formal speech in Japanese, as a halfie 🇦🇺🇯🇵

How much are one’s values and philosophy forced to be tied to the language you speak? Having grown up in Australia, I live in a culture where there’s no hierarchy-based formality built into the language. Our service workers never call us “sir” or “ma’am” (in fact it feels very off-putting whenever you get a usamerican waiter who does). Calling out to a perfect stranger on the street is done with a “hey, mate” or “hey, excuse me!”. Our speech patterns don’t change too much depending on our familiarity with whoever we’re talking to - and we certainly don’t have separate verb conjugations depending on formality.

Contrast this with Japanese which has several different speech registers depending on familiarity and hierarchy of the person you’re talking to.

Red: Keigo. Used by service staff. Used by low ranking staff to high ranking bosses in workplace situations.

Orange: Formal speech (sentence ending ます, です, ません, etc). Used by younger people when speaking to older people. Used by almost everyone when speaking to a stranger off the street.

Green: Semi-formal speech (sentence ending っす, しないです, etc). Used by people around the same age when speaking to someone they have only recently met, or to work acquaintances and similar.

Blue: Casual speech (sentence ending naked adjectives and nouns, だ, plain form verbs). Used by everyone to their own family. Used between good friends, even if one is a fair amount older. Used by bosses to their employees, teachers to their students.

(Please note this is graph was made by a me, a non-native japanese speaker, and is not backed up by any research. It’s based purely on vibes and its primary purpose is to assist in the explanation of my feelings about being australian-japanese. Also note that in reality there are not hard lines between each of these registers or strict definitions. If this were more accurate it would be more like a gradient)

I don’t want to be seen as rude, so when I’m in Japan I make an effort to speak in a formal register in certain situations (e.g. speaking to service workers, strangers on the street). I’m ok with the far left side of the graph. However, the purple dotted section is the part I have the hardest time with: people around my age who I am not (yet) friends with. As an Australian, I immediately want to speak in a casual register with anyone who has friend-potential — in my culture it’s polite and respectful to treat people like a friend from the start. Unfortunately, this has the reverse meaning in Japanese culture - it’s polite to keep people at arm’s length until you know they’re comfortable being closer with you. To use casual speech with an acquaintance carries an undertone of imposing a friendship on them that they may not want.

Culture and language are intimately linked, but is it possible to speak a language while being informed by a different cultural worldview? Is it possible to speak Japanese with both feet firmly planted in Australian culture? Does doing such a thing transform it into a different language altogether?

It’s certainly possible to speak English with my feet in Australian culture, and I would say that Australian English is a different dialect (with respect to formality registers) when compared to British English or US English. In fact I think US English is more similar to Japanese than it is to Australian English, if we’re just looking at formality.

A lot of what makes this a hard question is how homogenous Japan is, and how people in the Japanese diaspora (e.g. me and my family) don’t have a meaningfully different culture from mainland Japan, unlike other diasporas like Italian Americans. Since basically everyone who speaks Japanese is culturally and ethnically Japanese, the question of separating some of the cultural aspects from the language becomes almost unthinkable, and I would like to shake this unthinkable foundation of thought a bit.

Also, language is a collaborative thing. If I’m the only one speaking single-formality-register Japanese, I’m not speaking a new dialect, I’m just speaking normal Japanese in a weird way. It would take multiple people to understand the nuance of what I mean (not rude, just casual) for my single-register manner of speech to go from speaking normal Japanese rudely to speaking Australian Japanese normally. If I was to somehow assemble a bunch of Japanese-Australians raised in Australia, who learned Japanese with their family as their only input source (casual register only), would we be speak Japanese or some kind of new thing - Australian Japanese?

I wanna speak how I would normally speak in English, when I’m speaking in Japanese. But to do so carries subtext that I’m not trying to convey. If I want to speak without loading my speech with additional subtext I have to conform to the norms. But to do that would be to temporarily cast aside my cultural values on egalitarianism and respect!

So what’s more important - being true to myself and culture when speaking Japanese, or conveying the meaning I intend? Is it the responsibility of Japanese people to understand that people of different cultural backgrounds will speak their language, or is it my responsibility to conform to the way the language is spoken?

[candywife333]

Champagne Confetti

PART 3 of Just Want to See you Like That

This series is based on Jungkook's 3D and is probably going to have close to 6-7 parts, depending on where the storyline takes me. I'm feeling a bit dramatic, so expect a lot of angst. Tumblr is going to be referenced in this fic under a different name, Bumblr (I know, totally goofy name).

Summary: Y/N, an overworked employee at HYBE , only ever posted on Bumblr when she was feeling cornered. It was truly her escape. She didn't really do insta or even twitter. Most people would look at her and think this glass wearing quiet girl would most probably be posting pics of flowers and cute animals. But no, looks could be deceiving. Y/N's posts were far from innocent. In fact , they were borderline risque. She didn't expect anybody but a few horny people to come across these pics; people who would view and compliment in the best case scenario. What she didn't expect was that a certain star would be a regular consumer of her material. A star that technically had no business simping after her like that.

Disclaimer: This work is not representative of the real Jungkook's personality and behavior. It is merely fiction and please treat it as such.

Trigger Warning: voyeurism, exhibitionism, may or may not have dub-con later on

Please don't read the fic if any of these themes are disturbing or offensive to you.

Taglist is open

I couldn't believe how freeing it felt to quit that damn job. I had loved interacting with the kind staff and organizing things; something I was a pro at. However, the constant verbal abuse and condescension I had suffered at the hands of the administration had gone on long enough. Since I don't drink, I grabbed a huge bottle of apple cider from the store and headed back home to pop this bottle open and pour the golden liquid into a glass delicate pink wine goblet I had purchased last month.

I decided to have an apple themed party for myself. So I got home, showered with apple and cinnamon shower gel, put on a vintage flare dress with a pattern of green and red apples littered all over, and sat down with my cider and a decadent apple fritter that had been embellished with a wonderful berry compote.

Just as I popped open the bottle, giggling in glee, kicking my bare feet in the air on my comfy couch, my phone started blowing up. I stared at it frozen, rather confounded at what the reason for this cacophony could be. BANG PD?!!?! What the hell?! I never talked to the man. The only time I had even come across him was when I had accidentally bumped into his plush frame in a hallway. I would exaggerate and say that the tiny bump sent me flailing off onto the ground, but that would be a bit dramatic. I had lost my sense of balance and went crashing into a bucket of dirty cleaning water, clearly a great alternative to my extra imagination.

I was blushing in mortification reminiscing about that incident, as I came back to the present. I picked up my phone and was met with the gravelly steady voice of Bang PD as he drawled out , "Hello Y/N. How are you doing? Hope you are having a great evening". I felt paralyzed in awkwardness as I responded back timidly, "Of course PD-nim. I am doing great. Is there anything I can help you with?"

I heard a heavy sigh on the other end as PD groaned out in what seemed to be exasperation, "I am so sorry for what happened with our admin personnel this morning. My secretary informed about the incident and I am ashamed for her behavior. Please understand that I would never want any of my staff treated that miserably". Feeling shocked at his apology, I squeaked out, " Oh, please don't apologize PD. I know that her actions are not a reflection of HYBE's attitude towards employees. However, I find that my service isn't that valued at HYBE and I think maybe I am not a good fit anymore."

Strangely enough I could hear mumbled cursing on the other end of the phone as PD loudly exclaimed, "Of course you are a perfect fit for HYBE. Don't ever doubt that. I knew from the day I hired you, seeing you in your training period, how meticulous you are with running the maintenance of the place --even though we don't pay you to run management. Your dedication and management skills are invaluable to us. You may think I don't keep an eye on our maintenance staff, but I do. And everyone I have talked to from stylists to artists only have great things to say about you. In essence, what you do for us irreplaceable work".

I sat there on the couch with crumbs and sticky glaze all over my lips, as he continued, "Please come back to your job. But this time we will hire you as one of our administration managers. You are clearly overqualified for the position. Jennifer has been fired so you won't have to deal with her. And your pay will be hiked up to thrice what we used to pay you."

I almost choked on my own spit as I scrambled to tremulously say, "I am pleased to come back Sir. I won't disappoint you". He resumed speaking in a cheery voice, "Wonderful. I expect to see you back tomorrow at 9 AM. Your pay for the month has been wired to you". He hung up as I sat there in a daze before I got up from my seat and whooped loudly in the air yelling in mirth, "Take that you scumbags. Can't fuck with me and my bag". I couldn't wait to go back and show those bitches what I was made of. My luck was on the rise.

-----------------

I skipped into office the next morning, elated at the upgrade in position. Walking inside the cubicle, I saw one of the nicer admin staff. Her name was Stacy Lee. She smiled a wide smile that you could only see in a toothpaste ad as she ran to me excited, "Hello!!! You must be Y/N. It is great to meet you. I've seen how hard you worked to carry the whole building for months on end. It is a pleasure to finally actually get to work with you."

Her warm aura encompassed me as I shook her hand and smiled at her, "I think we will get along just fine". Stacy briefed me in on all the work I was supposed to do. As I slowly finished my tasks throughout the day, mostly responding to phone calls and typing reports, I caught the sight of a certain black haired buff man walking through the doors of the lobby accompanied by Taehyung, the ever kind angel of HYBE. He was one of the nicest people to staff. Never spoke down to them or belittled them. He would even go as far as to thank them for all the tiny tasks they did for him, and invite staff to parties and dinners along with the rest of the members.

I knew him pretty well from a very interesting incident that happened a few months ago. He had been hungover, reeking of alcohol, heading into his private office to clearly mask his situation. He had stumbled into the lobby, knocking over the cleaning supplies that had been placed there in the morning. I had seen him haphazardly stumbling around and happened to grab him by his shoulders, escorting him into his office before he could lose all dignity and make a fool of himself.

I had handed him some coffee, soup from the cafeteria, and 2 ibuprofen pills to quell his hangover. He had started vomiting, so I had held his hair away from his face sticky with sweat, steadying him as he vomited. Wiping his forehead with a wet cloth, I had placed him on the spacious sofa in his office and told him to sleep for a bit. After that ordeal, he had been super kind to me. Sometimes he had followed me around like a little puppy dog as I completed my tasks. When I asked him why (rather startled at this rich idol's devotion), he responded in a jubilant voice , hugging me as he jumped up and down, shrieking with joy, "You are a wonderful person. And I want to be your friend".

I couldn't resist his puppy like dark eyes which stared innocently at me. We became really good friends, meeting each other up for dinner occasionally when he wasn't super busy. As Taehyung walked in, he walked over to me with an ecstatic grin on his face ," How you doing Y/N, my fluffy little cupcake?", as he came around the counter to squeeze me around the waist , engulfing me in his too warm embrace.

I snickered at him, "What's up Tae? You seem rather busy these days?" He flirted back shamelessly, "I'm never too busy for you my buttercup". I cringed internally and groaned , "Don't do this Tae. My heart can't take this level of sugar, I'll get diabetes".

As we were conversing, I felt a dark set of doe eyes piercing my frame, burning holes into my chest. I hadn't really gone over the top with the clothes today; a high waisted black business pant with a lacy pink top that showed just a tiny bit of cleavage. Wonder why the creep was staring. Last time I checked, I hadn't been the one desperately, vulgarly, pounding into any staff in a closet.

As I pondered all this, Tae whined, "Please come outside tonight to celebrate with us. It'll be just the boys, TXT, and our managers". Apparently it was his birthday, and he had been hyping it up beyond measure, trying to convince me to show up for close to a month now. He continued, "Come on Y/N. There will be champagne confetti. I know you don't drink, but you will love the confetti popping into the air. You are such a baby, but I love that about you. I will force you to come if you don't agree. Am not even above threatening you."

I stared at his dead pan expression. I sighed, "Okay Tae, I will join you this once only. You know how awkward I get with new people." He jauntily shook his head up and down, running away screaming, "Hyung, I finally got Y/N to come out of her shell. Get ready to get wasted guys". I scoffed. Tae himself hated drinking. Dude was more likely to consume 10 cupcakes rather than even a shot of soju. I guess both of us would have a sugar high tonight.

Even though Tae left, the black eyed black haired devil hadn't left the room. He seemed oddly stunned, his face contorted onto an "O" shape, his round eyes unblinking, mouth open completely as he stuttered out incredulously, " Are you by chance....cherrybomb123 on Bumblr"?

WTF?!!!! I was panicking internally. How would he know? He couldn't possibly recognize the pale pink lace bra barely peeking out of my top? And if he recognized me, who the hell was he? My brain was screeching out with the answer as I stared at him in shock. I was royally screwed, and not in a good way.

Taglist : @sporadicarcadebanana , @darkuni63, @jessicalynn85, @mint--yoongs, @fortunecookiesworld

[transmutationisms]

hello! a question that is poorly articulated. this is only because i am young and havent read any communist stuff since the 19th century. how do you describe youtubers in a marxist analysis? i saw some people talking about how youtubers can't unionize to gain control over their situation because 1. they aren't actually youtube's employees and 2. the big youtubers with any amount of impact don't have incentive to join the union. ever since that post, i've been thinking about the whole ad revenue sponsorship... thing... and realized i cannot articulate that relationship in a marxist analysis at all. like, they're protelariat sure, but thats all i can say. outside companies paying for ads to go on videos which youtube pays for storage + moderation for but doesnt actually make, and then a portion of that ad revenue based on views per video goes to the creator? that's as far as i can get. the labour relationship just isnt clear to me at all. thanks for reading, perfectly fine if u dont want to answer + your posts are great + hope youre having a good day

so yeah i think you're mostly just getting thrown by the business jargon here. someone who makes their own videos and earns a living that way is selling their labour-power; the platform is extracting surplus value from that labour by selling user data, advertising slots, &c. youtube paying for storage and so forth is a business expense, analogous to a factory owner paying for machinery. youtube also pays employees, like moderators and programmers; advertisers pay employees too, both in-house and in the sense that they basically treat youtubers as independent contractors or gig workers (which is to say, employees but with few legal protections). the rules about how the percentages of profits are divvied up are irrelevant, from a strictly marxian perspective; the relevant consideration is which parties are producing something, and which parties are profiting from expropriating and selling something that someone else has produced.

the major caveat here is ofc that many/most very successful youtubers do not actually make their own videos lol, in the sense that they typically have employees, production companies, &c performing that labour for them and may also have branched out into branded product lines or whatever. in such cases they have taken on a capitalist role because they are then selling a product someone else has made (ownership in the production process or means of production, as opposed to actually labouring themselves to produce something). they may also contribute to products themselves to a greater or lesser degree (appearing onscreen, contributing creatively) but that doesn't negate the fact that their their profit margins come from the surplus value generated by making more off an employee's work than what they pay that employee. this is the distinction between earning wages for your own labour, versus extracting profit from someone else's.

so bottom line, it depends from case to case because 'youtuber' can mean someone with several different relationships to labour and production. but in general, the fact that advertisers may pay for ad deals, and platforms pay for business expenses, doesn't prevent a youtuber from being a labourer in those relationships.

[fcble]

INTERLUDE: ANTE.

June 2024. Featuring Lee Taein, Song Hyemi. 1k.

“Thirty-five percent,” Taein says slowly, because he could not have heard Hyemi correctly. Thirty-five percent would put her as the second largest shareholder, second only to him, skipping over and massively upsetting everyone else with a historical stake in his company.

She nods, folding her hands on top of the notebook in front of her, nails immaculate and nearly trimmed. The light reflects off her clear nail polish. "You were so receptive to my first donation."

He was, because that was a donation. A gesture of goodwill, meant to represent good dealings between Zenith Entertainment and Song Studios. When he signed Jaesun, he never could have predicted this baggage.

"If Jaesun-ssi is so important to you, you should represent him yourself."

Hyemi’s bottom lip curves up into a half-sneer. "Miae would never let me manage her precious son."

Taein has no interest in their politics, so he takes her words at face value with a single nod. He has his doubts about her presence here—if Miae knows her sister is so controlling of her son, if Jaesun knows the extent to which his family wishes to steer his life.

"Since you find the terms agreeable, I look forward to doing business with you,” Hyemi says, like their conversation, which has barely started, is already over.

“I never agreed to anything,” Taein says mildly. He isn’t worried. He imagines her bark is stronger than her bite. “You try so hard to influence his life, yet he runs wild anyway. Control him better.”

“I am not here to talk about my nephew,” she says.

“Then we have nothing to talk about,” he says with finality.

Hyemi makes no move to leave. Taein has half a mind to call security.

"Have you heard of the latest police corruption case?" she asks, smoothly switching the subject.

Taein knows exactly what she's talking about. It's a question of how much she knows. "The superintendent taking bribes from high-profile arrestees," he says, evenly paced, like he's remembering something he's read.

"Acting isn't your forte. Let me skip to the point. Han Cheolhwan-ssi is in no state to continue his responsibilities as a shareholder."

She knows too much. Cheolhwan's position as a Zenith Entertainment shareholder was a closely guarded secret, like the identities of most of the other investors. More than that, he's one of Taein's friends from their university days, and the person Taein paid off—with a friendship discount—to have the embezzlement case against him silently forgotten about. The share in Zenith is a gesture of friendship. On a shrewder level, Taein will sorely miss the safety net of being good friends with a high-ranking law enforcement employee.

"I presume that means you want his share," he says.

Hyemi smiles without warmth. "It would be in better hands."

"It seems strange for someone like you to pretend you're better than him. How many times have you paid your son's way out of a prison sentence?"

"Bail is not the same as bribery. You agreed to hire him in exchange for my donation. I haven't met anyone so agreeable in a long time. It’s refreshing."

His past actions are irrefutable, and Hyemi's motives are crystal clear. Taein moves on. He knows she's going to walk out of this room with a stake in his company. 

"Cheolhwan-ssi's shares are small. You would stoop that low," he says, meaning it in two ways at the same time. One, that Hyemi would come in here for this meeting and try to coerce him into giving her a spot at the table. Two, that she would drop from her initial demand of thirty-five percent to Cheolhwan’s meager percentage.

“You doubt me? It wounds me,” Hyemi says, splaying one hand over her heart. Her theatrics are the opposite of amusing.

“A new shareholder will be subject to approval from the current board,” he says, respondingly in a slightly positive way for the first time.

She pounces. “What makes you think they wouldn’t approve of me?” 

The worst part of all of this is that most of other shareholders would likely approve of her. Jinguk would, of course, be opposed, given the rivalry between his family’s film business and Song Studios. Taein has to admit—if only to himself—that the thought of a permanent partnership with Song Studios is extremely tantalizing. Their stellar reputation and deep pockets and the way Hyemi expertly modernized her company for the twenty-first century would be an easy sell to almost anyone. Taein assumes he’s in the minority for rebuffing her herself, and not one of her many proxies or lackeys. 

In the back of his mind, he knows he shouldn’t do this to Jaesun again. Jaesun has already expressed, multiple times over, his desire to separate himself from his family. It’s why he’s an idol instead of an actor. It’s why he signed with Taein’s company, rather than his grandfather’s. Taein let him down before, when he hired Chohyun to act as his manager.

And yet when faced with the prospect of another funder—his working relationship with Jinguk has been more of a barely working relationship lately—well, the the last barrier inside him breaks. The choice is easy. Jaesun can handle a second disappointment—or better yet, he won’t have to know. Taein doesn’t intend to let her exert the same control over his own affairs.

“Very well,” he relents. “My assistant will notify you of the results on your replacement of Cheolhwan-ssi in a few weeks.”

He stands, giving her no choice to follow, and holds out his hand. Hyemi follows.

“Cheolhwan-ssi’s spot on the board, and his share,” she says, but she shakes his hand.

“Of course.”

Words are just that—words, empty promises and false reassurances—until they’re set in writing. Hyemi knows Cheolhwan had some small percentage in his company. Taein is a betting man. He would place money on her not knowing the exact size of her future stake. He would rather the ownership belong to anyone else, including Jaeseop. 

For now, he’ll place the responsibility of duping Hyemi into Gyeongwon’s extremely capable legal hands. He walks her down to the entrance, so he can be sure she leaves. He watches her climb into the backseat of a van with tinted windows as he retrieves a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He cups his hand around the end and lights it with slightly trembling hands.

Taein thinks about the battle Gyeongwon fought with Jaesun’s lawyer over his contract and sighs in trepidation. That was an experience he has little interest in repeating again. Silently, he wishes her luck.

[ohhappyday123]

Office Dynamics - Part 6: Favorites and Feuds

The Dunder Mifflin office was alive with its usual hustle and bustle. You were at your desk, sandwiched comfortably between Stanley and Phyllis, who greeted you warmly as always. The office dynamics had settled into a pleasant rhythm, with everyone falling into their familiar roles. But today, it seemed, was destined for some drama.

As you were engrossed in your work, you noticed Michael storming over to Stanley’s desk, his face red with frustration. Jim, who had been quietly observing from his desk, looked at you, then at Pam. Pam was already stifling a giggle, sensing an impending showdown.

“Stanley!” Michael barked, hands on his hips. “We need to talk.”

Stanley barely glanced up from his crossword puzzle. “What is it, Michael?”

Michael’s voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper, though it was loud enough for half the office to hear. “I know you’ve been getting all chummy with Y/N. But I need you to understand something very important: Y/N is my favorite.”

Stanley finally looked up, his expression a mix of annoyance and amusement. “Michael, I don’t have time for this. Y/N is just a nice person. Maybe you should try being nicer.”

Michael huffed, his frustration bubbling over. “I am nice! I’m the nicest person here. I just don’t want anyone stealing my favorite employee.”

The camera zoomed in on Jim, who exchanged a glance with you, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Pam was openly laughing now, covering her mouth to stifle the sound.

Interview with Pam: “Michael arguing with Stanley about Y/N being his favorite? Classic Michael. It’s like watching a sitcom unfold in real life.”

Meanwhile, Dwight, who had been eavesdropping from across the room, stormed over, his face a mask of indignation. “Excuse me, Michael, but I think there’s been a mistake. If anyone is Y/N’s best friend here, it’s me. I’ve helped her with the Renaissance Fair, remember?”

Michael turned to Dwight, exasperated. “Dwight, this isn’t about who’s her best friend. This is about her being my favorite. And you can’t have her!”

Dwight looked confused for a moment, then his face hardened. “I don’t want her as my favorite. I want her as my best friend. And you can’t take that from me.”

Interview with Dwight: “Y/N is an integral part of the office. She’s helped me with countless initiatives, including the Renaissance Fair. Michael doesn’t understand the value of true friendship.”

The argument escalated, with Michael and Dwight both trying to stake their claims over you. You watched, bemused, as they bickered like children. Jim leaned over, whispering in your ear, “Welcome to the Thunderdome.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t know how I got into the middle of this.”

The camera caught Michael waving his arms dramatically. “Y/N is the heart and soul of this office! Without her, we’d be lost!”

Stanley, clearly fed up, finally spoke up. “Michael, you’re being ridiculous. Y/N is just nice to everyone. Maybe if you stopped acting like a child, she’d like you more.”

Michael looked genuinely hurt for a moment, then turned to you, his eyes pleading. “Y/N, tell him! Tell him you’re my favorite!”

All eyes turned to you, and you felt a mix of embarrassment and amusement. “Michael, I appreciate you. But I’m friends with everyone here. Can’t we all just get along?”

Michael deflated slightly but nodded, realizing he’d been acting out. “Fine. But just remember, you’re special to me.”

Interview with Y/N: “It’s flattering that Michael and Dwight care so much, but honestly, I just want everyone to get along. This office is like a family, and families can be a little crazy sometimes.”

As the day went on, the drama subsided, and things returned to normal. Pam and you found a moment to chat at her desk, still laughing about the morning’s events.

“So, how does it feel to be the office’s most coveted person?” Pam teased, her eyes sparkling.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming. But at least it keeps things interesting.”

Pam grinned, leaning closer. “Well, you definitely make this place more fun. And for the record, you’re my favorite too.”

You laughed, feeling a warm sense of camaraderie. “Thanks, Pam. That means a lot.”

Just then, Jim walked over, his expression playful. “So, I heard there was a battle for Y/N’s affections this morning. How did it feel being in the center of that?”

You shrugged, smiling at him. “Just another day at Dunder Mifflin.”

Interview with Jim: “Y/N really is something special. It’s not surprising that everyone wants to claim her as their favorite. But for me, she’s more than that. She’s… well, she’s everything.”

The rest of the day passed smoothly, with everyone settling back into their routines. Dwight, still determined to solidify his friendship with you, brought over a stack of documents for you to review. “These are the latest sales reports. I trust you’ll find them satisfactory.”

You smiled, accepting the papers. “Thanks, Dwight. I’ll get right on it.”

Phyllis and Stanley continued to be their usual, kind selves, offering support and the occasional treat. Kevin even chimed in again, this time bringing you a small bag of M&M’s. “Just a little something to brighten your day.”

You felt a swell of gratitude, knowing you were surrounded by such caring coworkers.

Interview with Phyllis: “Y/N is like a daughter to me. She brings a lot of joy to this office, and it’s nice to see everyone appreciating her.”

As the day came to a close, you found yourself reflecting on how much had changed since you started at Dunder Mifflin. You had friends, a supportive work environment, and a budding relationship with Jim that made you excited for the future.

Michael approached you one last time before leaving for the day, a sheepish smile on his face. “Sorry about earlier, Y/N. I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew how much you mean to this office.”

You smiled warmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Michael. I appreciate it. And I appreciate you.”

Michael beamed, clearly relieved. “Great! Let’s keep this place running smoothly together, huh?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, feeling a genuine affection for your quirky boss.

Interview with Michael: “Y/N is one of the best things to happen to Dunder Mifflin. She brings out the best in all of us, even Stanley. And that’s saying something.”

As you gathered your things to leave, Jim walked you to your car, his hand slipping into yours. “So, how about dinner tonight? Just us, away from all the office drama.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand. “I’d love that.”

Interview with Y/N: “Every day at Dunder Mifflin is an adventure. But with friends like Pam, Dwight, Stanley, and Phyllis, and something special with Jim, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

[michaeldswanson]

Apple’s Mysterious Fisheye Projection

If you’ve read my first post about Spatial Video, the second about Encoding Spatial Video, or if you’ve used my command-line tool, you may recall a mention of Apple’s mysterious “fisheye” projection format. Mysterious because they’ve documented a CMProjectionType.fisheye enumeration with no elaboration, they stream their immersive Apple TV+ videos in this format, yet they’ve provided no method to produce or playback third-party content using this projection type.

Additionally, the format is undocumented, they haven’t responded to an open question on the Apple Discussion Forums asking for more detail, and they didn’t cover it in their WWDC23 sessions. As someone who has experience in this area – and a relentless curiosity – I’ve spent time digging-in to Apple’s fisheye projection format, and this post shares what I’ve learned.

As stated in my prior post, I am not an Apple employee, and everything I’ve written here is based on my own history, experience (specifically my time at immersive video startup, Pixvana, from 2016-2020), research, and experimentation. I’m sure that some of this is incorrect, and I hope we’ll all learn more at WWDC24.

Spherical Content

Imagine sitting in a swivel chair and looking straight ahead. If you tilt your head to look straight up (at the zenith), that’s 90 degrees. Likewise, if you were looking straight ahead and tilted your head all the way down (at the nadir), that’s also 90 degrees. So, your reality has a total vertical field-of-view of 90 + 90 = 180 degrees.

Sitting in that same chair, if you swivel 90 degrees to the left or 90 degrees to the right, you’re able to view a full 90 + 90 = 180 degrees of horizontal content (your horizontal field-of-view). If you spun your chair all the way around to look at the “back half” of your environment, you would spin past a full 360 degrees of content.

When we talk about immersive video, it’s common to only refer to the horizontal field-of-view (like 180 or 360) with the assumption that the vertical field-of-view is always 180. Of course, this doesn’t have to be true, because we can capture whatever we’d like, edit whatever we’d like, and playback whatever we’d like.

But when someone says something like VR180, they really mean immersive video that has a 180-degree horizontal field-of-view and a 180-degree vertical field-of-view. Similarly, 360 video is 360-degrees horizontally by 180-degrees vertically.

Projections

When immersive video is played back in a device like the Apple Vision Pro, the Meta Quest, or others, the content is displayed as if a viewer’s eyes are at the center of a sphere watching video that is displayed on its inner surface. For 180-degree content, this is a hemisphere. For 360-degree content, this is a full sphere. But it can really be anything in between; at Pixvana, we sometimes referred to this as any-degree video.

It's here where we run into a small problem. How do we encode this immersive, spherical content? All the common video codecs (H.264, VP9, HEVC, MV-HEVC, AVC1, etc.) are designed to encode and decode data to and from a rectangular frame. So how do you take something like a spherical image of the Earth (i.e. a globe) and store it in a rectangular shape? That sounds like a map to me. And indeed, that transformation is referred to as a map projection.

Equirectangular

While there are many different projection types that each have useful properties in specific situations, spherical video and images most commonly use an equirectangular projection. This is a very simple transformation to perform (it looks more complicated than it is). Each x location on a rectangular image represents a longitude value on a sphere, and each y location represents a latitude. That’s it. Because of these relationships, this kind of projection can also be called a lat/long.

Imagine “peeling” thin one-degree-tall strips from a globe, starting at the equator. We start there because it’s the longest strip. To transform it to a rectangular shape, start by pasting that strip horizontally across the middle of a sheet of paper (in landscape orientation). Then, continue peeling and pasting up or down in one-degree increments. Be sure to stretch each strip to be as long as the first, meaning that the very short strips at the north and south poles are stretched a lot. Don’t break them! When you’re done, you’ll have a 360-degree equirectangular projection that looks like this.

If you did this exact same thing with half of the globe, you’d end up with a 180-degree equirectangular projection, sometimes called a half-equirect. Performed digitally, it’s common to allocate the same number of pixels to each degree of image data. So, for a full 360-degree by 180-degree equirect, the rectangular video frame would have an aspect ratio of 2:1 (the horizontal dimension is twice the vertical dimension). For 180-degree by 180-degree video, it’d be 1:1 (a square). Like many things, these aren’t hard and fast rules, and for technical reasons, sometimes frames are stretched horizontally or vertically to fit within the capabilities of an encoder or playback device.

This is a 180-degree half equirectangular image overlaid with a grid to illustrate its distortions. It was created from the standard fisheye image further below. Watch an animated version of this transformation.

What we’ve described so far is equivalent to monoscopic (2D) video. For stereoscopic (3D) video, we need to pack two of these images into each frame…one for each eye. This is usually accomplished by arranging two images in a side-by-side or over/under layout. For full 360-degree stereoscopic video in an over/under layout, this makes the final video frame 1:1 (because we now have 360 degrees of image data in both dimensions). As described in my prior post on Encoding Spatial Video, though, Apple has chosen to encode stereo video using MV-HEVC, so each eye’s projection is stored in its own dedicated video layer, meaning that the reported video dimensions match that of a single eye.

Standard Fisheye

Most immersive video cameras feature one or more fisheye lenses. For 180-degree stereo (the short way of saying stereoscopic) video, this is almost always two lenses in a side-by-side configuration, separated by ~63-65mm, very much like human eyes (some 180 cameras).

The raw frames that are captured by these cameras are recorded as fisheye images where each circular image area represents ~180 degrees (or more) of visual content. In most workflows, these raw fisheye images are transformed into an equirectangular or half-equirectangular projection for final delivery and playback.

This is a 180 degree standard fisheye image overlaid with a grid. This image is the source of the other images in this post.

Apple’s Fisheye

This brings us to the topic of this post. As I stated in the introduction, Apple has encoded the raw frames of their immersive videos in a “fisheye” projection format. I know this, because I’ve monitored the network traffic to my Apple Vision Pro, and I’ve seen the HLS streaming manifests that describe each of the network streams. This is how I originally discovered and reported that these streams – in their highest quality representations – are ~50Mbps, HDR10, 4320x4320 per eye, at 90fps.

While I can see the streaming manifests, I am unable to view the raw video frames, because all the immersive videos are protected by DRM. This makes perfect sense, and while I’m a curious engineer who would love to see a raw fisheye frame, I am unwilling to go any further. So, in an earlier post, I asked anyone who knew more about the fisheye projection type to contact me directly. Otherwise, I figured I’d just have to wait for WWDC24.

Lo and behold, not a week or two after my post, an acquaintance introduced me to Andrew Chang who said that he had also monitored his network traffic and noticed that the Apple TV+ intro clip (an immersive version of this) is streamed in-the-clear. And indeed, it is encoded in the same fisheye projection. Bingo! Thank you, Andrew!

Now, I can finally see a raw fisheye video frame. Unfortunately, the frame is mostly black and featureless, including only an Apple TV+ logo and some God rays. Not a lot to go on. Still, having a lot of experience with both practical and experimental projection types, I figured I’d see what I could figure out. And before you ask, no, I’m not including the actual logo, raw frame, or video in this post, because it’s not mine to distribute.

Immediately, just based on logo distortions, it’s clear that Apple’s fisheye projection format isn’t the same as a standard fisheye recording. This isn’t too surprising, given that it makes little sense to encode only a circular region in the center of a square frame and leave the remainder black; you typically want to use all the pixels in the frame to send as much data as possible (like the equirectangular format described earlier).

Additionally, instead of seeing the logo horizontally aligned, it’s rotated 45 degrees clockwise, aligning it with the diagonal that runs from the upper-left to the lower-right of the frame. This makes sense, because the diagonal is the longest dimension of the frame, and as a result, it can store more horizontal (post-rotation) pixels than if the frame wasn’t rotated at all.

This is the same standard fisheye image from above transformed into a format that seems very similar to Apple’s fisheye format. Watch an animated version of this transformation.

Likewise, the diagonal from the lower-left to the upper-right represents the vertical dimension of playback (again, post-rotation) providing a similar increase in available pixels. This means that – during rotated playback – the now-diagonal directions should contain the least amount of image data. Correctly-tuned, this likely isn’t visible, but it’s interesting to note.

More Pixels

You might be asking, where do these “extra” pixels come from? I mean, if we start with a traditional raw circular fisheye image captured from a camera and just stretch it out to cover a square frame, what have we gained? Those are great questions that have many possible answers.

This is why I liken video processing to turning knobs in a 747 cockpit: if you turn one of those knobs, you more-than-likely need to change something else to balance it out. Which leads to turning more knobs, and so on. Video processing is frequently an optimization problem just like this. Some initial thoughts:

It could be that the source video is captured at a higher resolution, and when transforming the video to a lower resolution, the “extra” image data is preserved by taking advantage of the square frame.

Perhaps the camera optically transforms the circular fisheye image (using physical lenses) to fill more of the rectangular sensor during capture. This means that we have additional image data to start and storing it in this expanded fisheye format allows us to preserve more of it.

Similarly, if we record the image using more than two lenses, there may be more data to preserve during the transformation. For what it’s worth, it appears that Apple captures their immersive videos with a two-lens pair, and you can see them hiding in the speaker cabinets in the Alicia Keys video.

There are many other factors beyond the scope of this post that can influence the design of Apple’s fisheye format. Some of them include distortion handling, the size of the area that’s allocated to each pixel, where the “most important” pixels are located in the frame, how high-frequency details affect encoder performance, how the distorted motion in the transformed frame influences motion estimation efficiency, how the pixels are sampled and displayed during playback, and much more.

Blender

But let’s get back to that raw Apple fisheye frame. Knowing that the image represents ~180 degrees, I loaded up Blender and started to guess at a possible geometry for playback based on the visible distortions. At that point, I wasn’t sure if the frame encodes faces of the playback geometry or if the distortions are related to another kind of mathematical mapping. Some of the distortions are more severe than expected, though, and my mind couldn’t imagine what kind of mesh corrected for those distortions (so tempted to blame my aphantasia here, but my spatial senses are otherwise excellent).

One of the many meshes and UV maps that I’ve experimented with in Blender.

Radial Stretching

If you’ve ever worked with projection mappings, fisheye lenses, equirectangular images, camera calibration, cube mapping techniques, and so much more, Google has inevitably led you to one of Paul Bourke’s many fantastic articles. I’ve exchanged a few e-mails with Paul over the years, so I reached out to see if he had any insight.

After some back-and-forth discussion over a couple of weeks, we both agreed that Apple’s fisheye projection is most similar to a technique called radial stretching (with that 45-degree clockwise rotation thrown in). You can read more about this technique and others in Mappings between Sphere, Disc, and Square and Marc B. Reynolds’ interactive page on Square/Disc mappings.

Basically, though, imagine a traditional centered, circular fisheye image that touches each edge of a square frame. Now, similar to the equirectangular strip-peeling exercise I described earlier with the globe, imagine peeling one-degree wide strips radially from the center of the image and stretching those along the same angle until they touch the edge of the square frame. As the name implies, that’s radial stretching. It’s probably the technique you’d invent on your own if you had to come up with something.

By performing the reverse of this operation on a raw Apple fisheye frame, you end up with a pretty good looking version of the Apple TV+ logo. But, it’s not 100% correct. It appears that there is some additional logic being used along the diagonals to reduce the amount of radial stretching and distortion (and perhaps to keep image data away from the encoded corners). I’ve experimented with many approaches, but I still can’t achieve a 100% match. My best guess so far uses simple beveled corners, and this is the same transformation I used for the earlier image.

It's also possible that this last bit of distortion could be explained by a specific projection geometry, and I’ve iterated over many permutations that get close…but not all the way there. For what it’s worth, I would be slightly surprised if Apple was encoding to a specific geometry because it adds unnecessary complexity to the toolchain and reduces overall flexibility.

While I have been able to playback the Apple TV+ logo using the techniques I’ve described, the frame lacks any real detail beyond its center. So, it’s still possible that the mapping I’ve arrived at falls apart along the periphery. Guess I’ll continue to cross my fingers and hope that we learn more at WWDC24.

Conclusion

This post covered my experimentation with the technical aspects of Apple’s fisheye projection format. Along the way, it’s been fun to collaborate with Andrew, Paul, and others to work through the details. And while we were unable to arrive at a 100% solution, we’re most definitely within range.

The remaining questions I have relate to why someone would choose this projection format over half-equirectangular. Clearly Apple believes there are worthwhile benefits, or they wouldn’t have bothered to build a toolchain to capture, process, and stream video in this format. I can imagine many possible advantages, and I’ve enumerated some of them in this post. With time, I’m sure we’ll learn more from Apple themselves and from experiments that all of us can run when their fisheye format is supported by existing tools.

It's an exciting time to be revisiting immersive video, and we have Apple to thank for it.

As always, I love hearing from you. It keeps me motivated! Thank you for reading.

[pirateprincessjess]

"I'm going to bitch about a show I know nothing about! Oh, how dare queer folks who actually watch the show and appreciate its representation correct me on being a lying POS?"

I used to be a huge Rooster Teeth fan and a huge RWBY fan, but after the scandals I took a step back and assessed my relationship with their content. I decided I didn’t want to support a company with a bad history of racism, homophobia, and transphobia whose employees have been coming forward about poor working conditions and low pay. A company that keeps having issues with prominent members being abusers (3 different link in that sentence because it keeps happening)

But I know a lot about RWBY. I was the kind of fan that watched every episode and read the books, and consumed all the supplemental material. It broke my heart to see how bad things were at Rooster Teeth because I was super deep into their culture.

And it confuses me to see people claiming that the RWBY is good representation when it does the bare minimum while RT is actively hurting the queer people involved with the show.

So no, I am not mad the queer people are enjoying the show. I am mad that the creators of the show don’t respect and value queer people, and I am mad that anonymous members of the fandom would attack queer people for talking about it.

[eco-lite]

Volume 5 thoughts! I can’t believe I have to wait until November for volume 6. 😩

“Citrine Undaunted”

* Bye bye, Shimomura. 👋🏼 Good luck following your passions. I hope Seigi will take inspiration from this.

* This is truly such a bizarre story. Why does it feel like Ms. Darling is some supernatural creature trying to influence Seigi’s path in life? And her compliments about Seigi’s hands are very uncomfortable.

* “It was a lot easier when you let your brain process what you were going to say before you opened your mouth, rather than blurting out something stupid in a panic” (36). Seigi… are you just learning this now?

* I can’t wait for Seigi to do some actual self-reflection and realize that he doesn’t give a shit about being a civil servant.

* Richard loves showing Seigi bi-colored stones, huh…?

* Richard sending emojis makes me so happy.

“A Visage in Sardonyx”

* Poor Homura. Let’s hope third time’s the charm for him. He does seem a bit to quick to marry though.

* Wait, so agate is quartz too? I never new so many stones were varieties of quartz!

* I never know how cameos were made either—that’s so cool!

* “‘Say, for example, you love someone in a romantic sense, but that person doesn’t even consider you a romantic possibility. You’re just someone they “care about deeply”’” (81). Please don’t say this to Richard. That’s gonna hit way to close to home. 🥲

* I’ve considered before that Richard may have wanted to just stop living, but it doesn’t hurt any less for him to confirm it. I’m glad he has support now. It gives new mean to when he says that Saul saved his life, though.

* SEIGI! How are you going to say that your relationship with Richard hasn’t changed at all, and that you’re just boss and employee?! After everything you went through together in the last volume??? Now that you regularly go out to dinner together and talk in the phone until 1:30am?????? What is your problem, man?

* I know the circumstances are weird, but I think Richard and Tanimoto would get along really well and have a lot to talk about. I’m excited for them to meet!

* Although I feel weird about the whole “in love with my stepmother” thing, this case was an interesting exploration of different kinds of love—and how defining your love for someone sometimes isn’t the most important thing. What matters is that the love is there. I suppose I agree with that. It definitely matters how you define the relationship that the love occurs in, though. Seigi needs to start thinking about that.

“The Majesty of Zircon”

* I agree that strict government work probably is t right for Seigi, but damn, his classmates are brutal!

* “And that was how the first step of my self-assessment started—with the fact that I apparently didn’t know the first thing about myself being shoved in my face” (110). Yeah, there are several things you don’t know about yourself, Seigi. Once again, I am begging you to do some self-reflection!

* Woah, a flashback and a POV switch?!

* “‘… I have a interest in waterside ecosystems’” (124). Wow me too!

* Not Jeffrey suggesting they burn the Claremont estate down 😅

* Lol the catharsis of punching Jeffrey in a dream. Wish I could do that. If Richard’s dream is accurate… wtf, Jeffrey?

* “‘…I don’t know how many people you must’ve hurt by being such an impossibly insensitive jerk. A guy like you would never be popular with the high school girls in Delhi, no matter how handsome you are. I could call a dozen of my old friends, and they’d all be like “No thanks”’” (172). You tell him! I love Monica so much.

* Lol Richard giving himself a pep talk in order to make a salad.

* This puts a new perspective on the scene in “White Sapphire” when Richard tells Seigi that he should value himself more than to just throw himself into dangerous situations to save others. Richard learned that lesson himself. He also cares about people deeply enough to take crazy desperate actions. Saul was the one who taught Richard to have more care for himself, and now Richard is passing on that advice to Seigi.

“The Grace of Peridot”

* Not Richard making Seigi read Les Misérables lol

* No Seigi, your past is not “better left unsaid!” Please tell us!

* I really don’t understand why Richard’s parents ever thought they could make their relationship work. Like, how do a conservation-focused entomologist and a self-obsessed actress even fall in love with each other??

* I can’t believe I’m past the point where Seigi saying he would jump into a fire if Richard begged him to doesn’t phase me at all. Yeah, that’s normal Seigi behavior. 🤦🏽‍♀️ For real though, the image of Richard crying and begging is truly very distressing. I hope he never feels so much pain.

* I don’t think we’ve seen Seigi call Richard cute before. And not only cute, but “like a matcha frappé with whipped cream and chocolate chips and muscovado sugar” (256). Wowie.

* This reunion with Chieko is so sweet. Richard is actually being adorable.

* “At any rate, I knew that Richard was not fit to stand around and chat, so I decided to wrap things up there” (258). It’s really hitting me just how attentive Seigi is to Richard’s emotional needs. It’s not just carrying candy around to pacify him when he’s in a bad mood. In this situation, Seigi understands that reuniting with Chieko is a very happy, but also emotionally exhausting experience for Richard. Seigi knows just when to remove them from the situation and come back another time. It’s very sweet.

* HOMURA PLEASE WHY ARE YOU HERE? Well, at least it seems like this relationship will succeed. Third time’s the charm.

* I’m so happy that Richard had such a caring mother figure, and that they’re reunited now. I hope they can see each other often.

* Ew not Margaret Thatcher 😑

* Classic marriage mixup once again.

* Wtf is Richard going to say to him?! You can’t just not let us in on this, Tsujimura!

“Andalusite on Christmas Eve”

* Tanimoto: misunderstands Seigi as always. Seigi: “There really are no gods in this world, huh?” 🥲

* “‘Now, I’m just speaking for myself, but special days can be a bit like storms. And in stormy weather, what you need isn’t a compass or sails but a calm harbor where you can set anchor.’ And then Richard said softly that he prayed that I would find such a place” (291). Holy shit. 🥲🥲

“Tiger’s Eye Look Back”

* A cute little story from the first few months of Seigi working at Étranger. I’m trying to figure out why this little scene was included, though. Maybe to show us just how far both Seigi and Richard have come since the beginning of the story.

* I find it really interesting that Seigi never questions why he finds Richard so beautiful. I feel like a typical “straight” man would not be so casual about thinking another man is beautiful, or having any of the other extremely romantically coded thoughts Seigi has about Richard. But I do appreciate that this series normalizes all different types of people finding beauty and happiness in all sorts of things.

Unrelated to a specific case, but now that Tsujimura has established multiple perspectives besides Seigi’s, I really want to read from Richard’s perspective. I know that would diminish the mystery around him and take away from learning about him as Seigi does, but I really want to know his thoughts in the moment he met Seigi. I’d love a re-telling of that first case from Richard’s POV.

[dingo-ate-my-hot-lettuce-crazy]

Scripting Template [2]

+=+=Scripting Template=+=+

☐ General

☐ Appearance

☐ Characteristics

☐  Likes/Dislikes

☐ Relations

☐ DR Setting

☐ Cloning + Affirmations

[1] General

Name:

Origin:

Nickname:

Pet name (sweetheart, baby, etc):

Sexuality:

Gender:

Pronouns:

Age:

Mental Age:

Birthdate:

Zodiac/Chinese Sign:

Birthplace:

Current Residence:

Past Residence(s):

Languages:

Accent/Dialect:

Ethnicity:

Race:

Nationality:

[2] Appearance:

[photo]

Hair:

Color:

Length:

Texture:

Cut: [photo]

Eye:

Shape:

Color:

Body/Facial Hair:

Facial Structure:

Height/Weight:

Body Figure (pear, hourglass, etc):

Breast Size:

Body Details:

Scars:

Dimples:

Tattoos:

Piercings:

Birthmark:

Ring Size:

Jawline:

Blood type:

Clothing/Style:

Casual:

Pajamas:

Work Attire:

Exercise:

Party:

Hot Weather:

Cold Weather:

Date Night:

Jewelry:

Rings:

Necklaces:

Earrings:

Other:

Appearance Affirmation:

•I am irresistibly attractive.

•iI have prominent muscles (abs, biceps, etc)

•My hair looks perfect straight, curly, or wavy.

•I never get a bad haircut

•My lips are never chapped.

•My breath is always minty and smells nice.

•My voice is raspy/honey-like/angelic/etc

•My skin never has any pimples, or cysts.

•I have perfect hygiene and smell like ___.

•I have a clear nose and never have earwax.

• My smile is contagious and sweet.

•My smile lights up a room.

•Im immune to lice, greasy hair, and dandruff

•My closet has endless tops, bottoms, underwear, bras, accessories, jewelry, etc

•All my clothes fit me perfectly/just the way i want them to

•My teeth are white

[3] Characteristics:

IQ:

Myers Briggs:

Talents:

Traits:

Hobbies:

Habits:

How do people feel when you walk into the room:

How do people talk about you: How do people perceive you:

How do you perceive yourself:

What do you value in yourself:

Insecurities:

How do you view the glass (half full, half empty, etc):

Fears:

[4] Likes/Dislikes

Color: EXAMPLE Like: red/dislike:green

animal:

food/dish:

dessert:

drink:

alcoholic beverage:

taste:

smell:

season:

place:

holiday:

plant:

book:

literary genre:

movie:

movie genre:

tv show:

tv genre:

actor:

artist/band:

song:

music genre:

clothing style:

game:

game genre:

[5] Relations

Family:

Father(s):

Mother(s):

Sibling(s):

Children:

Extended Family:

Pet(s):

Who Raised You: Who do you favor:

Family Background/History:

Who is alive/deceased:

Work:

Employer:

Employees:

Coworkers:

Friends:

BFF:

Close Friends:

First meeting:

Friends:

Acquaintances:

Love:

First Crush/Love:

Past Partners:

Current Partner(s):

Sex Information:

Marital Status:

[6] DR Setting

First Shift:

The Date:

CR to DR Time: (1 hour in CR: 1 month in DR)

When I shift I…

Feel:

Physically:

Emotionally:

See:

Smell:

Hear:

Wear:

House:

Layout: [photo]

Address:

School:

Primary:

Secondary:

College/University:

Work:

Address:

Coworkers:

Shifts:

Experience:

Book/Movie/TV Timeline:

[this is where you can set up a specific outline if you were shifting for exact media events]

Before:

During:

After:

Memories:

Headcanons:

Events:

[7] Cloning + Affirmations

Safe word/action:

Clone: 

-My clone is always safe. 

-My clone always acts like me. 

-My clone will keep my personality. 

-My clone will remember whats happens in my DR after I return to my CR. 

-My clone will carry out any normal tasks that were left for me in my Cr. 

-My clone will not die. 

-My clone has great mental health. 

-My clone is like me in every way possible. 

Other Affirmations:

misc affirmations:

•I cannot die

•I will not get trauma.

•I will return back to my CR anytime I say my safeword + action.

•I can stay as long as I want in my DR.

•I am not sexually assaulted by anyone.

•I won't forget my safe word/action.

•people in my DR do not notice me shifting when I say my safe word.

•All of my memories from my DR before I enter are automatically there so I know what is going on when I arrive.

•all memories from my CR stay intact when I arrive back.

•I always come back from my DR safely.

•i remember what's happened when i come back to my CR after i shift

•I do not feel severe pain.

•My body is healthy and I never get any diseases aside from the common cold or allergies every so often.

•I never throw up.

•I cannot get pregnant unless i want to

•I have fast metabolism.

•Bodily waste never causes any issues.

•I don't have a period.

•I have a high pain tolerance.

•People in my DR do not know Im shifting.

•no one is in my DR that does not belong

•i can easily run a mile in ___ time.

Shifting Affirmations:

1. i can shift

2. i can shift easily

3. i can shift realities easily

4. i believe i can shift easily

5. i have successfully shifted

6. i have the ability to shift

7. i am focused on shifting

8. i will shift successfully

9. i can shift successfully

10. i am able to shift successfully

11. i am confident in my ability to shift

12. i am in my desired reality

13. i am already in my desired reality

14. i know i am in my desired reality

15. i am in my desired reality already

16. i live in my desired reality

17. i can shift whenever i want

18. i can shift realities whenever i want

19. i believe i can shift successfully

20. i know i can shift whenever i want

21. i know i can shift successfully

22. i’m shifting

23. i know i’m shifting

24. i’m shifting right now

25. i believe shifting is easier than breathing

26. i know shifting is easier than breathing

27. i believe shifting is easier than blinking

28. i know shifting is easier than blinking

29. i believe shifting is easier than moving

30. i know shifting is easier than moving

31. shifting is easier than blinking

32. shifting is easier than breathing

33. shifting is easier than moving

34. i shift everytime i breathe

35. i shift everytime i blink

36. i shift everytime i move

37. i know i have successfully shifted

38. i believe i have successfully shifted

39. i believe i am in my desired reality

40. i have succeeded at shifting to my desired reality

41. i have succeeded at shifting

42. i know i have succeeded at shifting

43. i know i have succeeded at shifting to my desired reality

44. i believe i have succeeded at shifting to my desired reality

45. i believe i have succeeded shifting

46. i know i can shift

47. i have successfully shifted to my desired reality

48. i have successfully shifted to my desired reality because i deserve it

49. i have successfully shifted realities

50. i know i have successfully shifted realities

51. i believe i have successfully shifted realities

52. everything is perfect in my desired reality

53. i am a master at shifting

54. i’m the best at shifting

55. i will shift realities to my ___ DR

56. i can shift realities to ___ DR

57. i can shift realities to ___ DR easily

58. i’m happy to be in my desired reality

59. i’m grateful to be in my desired reality

60. i’m thankful to be in my desired reality

61. my desired reality will follow my script

62. i know shifting realities will work

63. i know shifting realities is real

64. i am shifting to my desired reality

65. i can shift to my desired reality

66. i can shift to my desired reality easily

67. i will shift to my desired reality

68. i know i will shift to my desired reality

69. i have the power to shift

70. i know i have the power to shift

71. i believe i have the power to shift

72. i know i have the ability to shift

73. i believe i have the ability to shift

74. i will wake up in my desired reality

75. i will wake up in the ____.

76. i have shifted realities

77. i know i have shifted realities

78. i went to my desired reality

79. i can shift realities with ease

80. i am going to go to my desired reality

81. i have faith in shifting realities

82. it is easy to shift realities

83. i know it is easy to shift realities

84. i know i am going to go to my desired reality

85. i know i can shift realities with ease

86. i know i have shifted realities

87. i am capable of shifting realities

88. i know i am capable of shifting realities

89. i’m finally in my desired reality

90. i finally live in my desired reality

91. i am a master shifter

92. i look like my dr self

93. i am in my ideal reality

94. i live in my ideal reality

95. i will wake up in my ideal reality

96. i am prepared to shift

97. i know i am prepared to shift

98. i am safe in my dr

99. i am protected in my dr

100. my shifting process will go smoothly

101. i can shift using any method, including ones i make up.

[finedinerofmoths]

Actually hold on I can't sleep so let me tell you what I think about Kevin, the smiling god, Strexcorp, and how it all ties together.

(rant incoming)

So! The podcast of WTNV contradicts itself sometimes as to who founded the congregation of the smiling god, and I find it interesting! (I'll try to to source my findings but I'm kinda trash at that so sorry in advance.)

First things first, it was before strex for sure. This is confirmed by the episode with past Kevin and I think a priest of the congregation actually? He talks about smiling, uses friendly language, and overall seems like a happy guy pre-strex in a somewhat similar fashion to during-strex Kevin. Personally I love the contrast, but that's not the point whoops. And after his disconnect with strex, there are still many! people that worship the smiling god.

Here's what I think, and take it with a grain of salt because I hadn't read any of the books or seen the live shows (wiki fandom is my best friend on this), but it seems like the corruption of a religion to further a social/political goal on strex's part.

I refuse to get too political on this but my thoughts on this was the OG religion was positive and harmless, centered around a more spiritual belief of goodwill, optimism, and respecting life (maybe the energy of every living thing via blood and bones and the beauty of just... Life and living thing? Only to turn into a blood and bone fixation? Hm.) Smiling has been proven to help your brain make happy chemicals, and laughing is literally contagious! I read a post that while science is Night Vale's religion, religion is Desert Bluff's science, and I agree. It makes sense that a guy like pre-strex Kevin (as little as I know him) would understand and appreciate these values. Hell, I even think cutting a gaslow smile into yourself could've been an original thing, some religions are like that man, especially not surprising in WTNV.

Strex is obviously sadistic, faux-friendly, manipulative and gaslighting, etc etc etc. It wouldn't be the first time a company or group would use and corrupt a popular religion to seize control, and brainwashing is how cults work! That mixed with torture and meds, no wonder strex employees were so loyal. And they most likely used his own religion (albeit an essentially bastardized version) to condition him. By telling him pain is good (yikes) and "crushing the weak" to paraphrase Kevin himself is all part of this religion HE FOUNDED, they could've easily twisted their own virtues into his. Despite being a prophet, I don't think Kevin has had contact with it for a while now.

However, the smiling god is obviously malevolent, I am not sure about that bit. It either drive him just a bit mad upon first meeting it (valid tbh), it killed him but didn't?? because what is logic in night vale honestly, or somehow tricked him into believing it was a more benevolent presence. Or, maybe he worshipped it because why not, Cecil was totally ready to adhere to the demands of the glow cloud, the distant prince, all of them due to a healthy dose of terror and cosmic fear. Kevin might've gotten luck of the draw.

A thing I don't know yet that's driving me crazy is Kevin met the smiling god via oak door the first time, and it makes me wonder if the desert otherworld is it's domain or something?? And dbt is there now, just thinkin' thoughts about that.

He's shown to be a bit controlling, opinionated and stubborn even before strex (only heartless people don't like cats, Cecil!) and I think strex amplified these traits to terribly negative proportions. As well as using his own trauma, maybe? He compares his father to a thing always watching (in the walls, I think?), the sun to an overbearing father, let's not even mention the burning hot caramel situation. If his father was strict and abusive, it might be easier to say "hey, wasn't that actually a good thing? All that pain, what a great dad!" And turn his brain into a functional positive feedback loop.

Sorry for the whole essay, ack, but I've been thinking about this way too much lately. To summarize, smiling god came first via Kevin, Strex ruined everything as per usual, and religion and science and this podcast are soooo flipping interesting!!!! Okay thanks for coming to my Ted talk, Mothy out

[anatypicalwoman]

We often hear stories about family and romantic relationships with narcissistic individuals, with information that helps identify narcissistic mothers and husbands in particular. However, little is said about the other victims of these people.

I was a victim of my business partner. This story is stuck within me because I can't share it with many people; those I can talk to about it are tired of hearing it. I sound like a broken record. Things started to go downhill a very long time ago. Here I am, sitting on the floor of my house after finding more evidence of the ongoing scam through an Instagram post and a routine check of the bank statements (one of the few things I still have access to in the company, where I hold half of the fucking shares). Despicable. Psychopath.

The clinic's reception area had a hand-painted graffiti mural by two amazing artists—one of whom is still an employee of the company—which held so much meaning. Today, I saw that she had it painted over with a dirty white and slapped on tacky stickers from Shopee. Tacky. She was always tacky and cheap. Looking at the bank statements, I saw that she hired a new management system (ERP). It's a huge management decision, and I wasn’t consulted or informed. Tomorrow, I’ll have to send an email demanding that I be given an administrator-level user, a login, and a password. Without it, I won’t even be able to monitor the financial transactions that are happening, as she has already completely stripped me of my management rights.

One year, three months, and 26 days ago, this woman fired me from my own company on the day I returned from a psychiatric leave, which I had to take because of her manipulative games. And even today, I’m sitting here, watching her ERASE me from the project to which I dedicated my body and soul for two uninterrupted years. She’s erasing me without compensating me financially. And I can't do anything. I've done everything I could. Now, I can only watch, and I can't even talk to anyone about it because no one can bear it anymore. Most of the people I can talk to are also victims, directly or indirectly, of her. Everyone is exhausted.

Today, one year, three months, and 26 days later, I’m the only one who still feels the pain. And it hurts. It also hurts because I still miss her. Obviously, I now know that I only ever knew a meticulously curated version of her. Yet, I miss that person, even though I know she doesn’t exist. And that pain is so intense. I feel utterly alone because no one can stand to hear me talk about this anymore. And I’m angry because I feel small and petty for being angry that she’s erasing, literally, the values I stood for, replacing them with something beige, plastic, and tacky. She’s putting herself in my place, and that infuriates me even more because she was always there. I always felt the pangs of her envy, of how great I was in that space. I have never felt so good anywhere as I did in that company. I built it that way, and I was so proud of what I had created. So yes, it makes me angry when I see a once-beautiful wall painted beige. And it makes me sad to realize, once again, how foolish I was. Because her malice was always there. I was just too captivated to notice.

[starlooove]

Fanfics that have obvious audience stand ins for the characters are sooo funny

Jason walks into the manor and it’s like: “Dickface! I know you have a myriad of sex related issues you don’t want to talk about that I’ll make sure to squeeze out of you and unpack later, but that doesn’t mean you can just tell babybird to go to Arkham for being so smart and right all the time! And you need to put that feral animalistic killer on a leash and tell him that being an abused 10 year old is no reason to reflect the behaviors he’s learned and there’s nothing racist about that at all! I would say something about Cass but she’s literally perfect and there’s nothing wrong with me taking that at face value and refusing to explore her beyond that and Duke is at school or Dayshift or wherever the fuck else he’s supposed to be that nobody actually cares about, and there’s nothing racist about this either! Also none of these behaviors reflect anything about Bruce as a person at all except for that he’s bad at communicating and doesn’t like expwessing his feewings 🥺🥺🥺🥺. Now I’m gonna go make a quiche with Alfred who also has nothing to do with anything because even though he’s all seeing he also doesn’t know shit ever!”

“No Jason, Wait!” tim cries, “don’t forget that you’re also a part of this family and Bruce wants you here despite literally everything! I forgive you for everything you’ve ever done no matter how bad it was and now we can be the bestest of friends because…well…because you’re MY robin! And I ONLY became Robin to stop that grown man from killing himself and it has nothing to do with my personal wants, because I’m just an employee 🥺🥺🥺 Please just disregard literally everything that’s happened until this point and come home! Nothing will change on our front but if you stop killing people you can be a bat once again, and hey….if you’re feeling up to it we can have an emotionally charged moment where you get over the pit madness somehow only you got and save me from something that targeted me because of how smart and cool I am. Deal?”

Jason pauses. “Deal.”

“Well….that just happened,” Steph awkwardly exclaims, standing in the doorway in her signature purple sweater holding a plate of hot waffles. “Agreed…” shows up on the screen of the bat computer…the all knowing oracle strikes again….

[scrion7]

lantern rite - ventao overanalysis

Okay, as a VenTao shipper, I was expecting a simple introduction where the two got introduced because of Zhongli and then the plot would move on.

What we got instead was Hu Tao and Venti having fucking secondary and tertiary conversations in the subtle words between words of what are on the surface flirty compliments (and yeah, those are really cute too) but are actually them planning and enacting a 3 point dunk on everyone's favorite ASMR voice WHILE ALSO sussing each other out.

It's probably not even that deep, but by god I am a mole with a jackhammer and I am going to dig.

The first conversation they have is seemingly just flirting on main, with a side of Venti dunking on Zhongli by saying Hu Tao is the greatest authority here (with Rex Fucking Lapis, Xiao the Yaksha and the Traveler in the room). If there's something other than that here, it's something lost in translation, so I'll take Venti calling Hu Tao a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the source of all life on earth at face value.

The second conversation they have, on the other hand, is not as benign. Hu Tao starts off by saying this:

The use of "unsatisfactory" is the tell here. Only Venti can decide what "unsatisfactory" is, and Hu Tao wants him to let her know if that happens.

What Hu Tao is actually saying is that if you want to, at any time, dunk on Zhongli, I'll dunk on him too with the power of being his boss. They're both poets, they know subtext. This is AFTER Venti's first roast, where he demonstrated that yes, he is aware Zhongli is the supposedly deceased Geo Archon, and that isn't going to stop him from dunking on him. You know how Venti responds?

There are so many fucking layers to this. The obvious first layer is just what it looks like: a straight up compliment. The second layer, which is still obvious thanks to the side eye and the sarcastic tone of 'impressive,' is a dunk on Zhongli. The third and fourth layer are a bit of a stretch but I am ready to do some fucking yoga.

Saying she's savvy, directly after her previous comment? That is an acknowledgement that he heard what Hu Tao didn't say - aka, if Venti wants to dunk on Zhongli, Hu Tao will back him up.

Saying she's reliable implies that Venti trusts Hu Tao to dunk on Zhongli where it hurts.

And then he fucking dunks on Zhongli by calling him an impressive consultant with a sarcastic tone and obvious side eye.

This? This is not a compliment. I mean, yeah, it is, and at face value is also cute, but that's not why I love it. What Hu Tao actually means is that Venti's too nice for giving her the opportunity to dunk on her employee.

And then she fucking does it, somehow with MORE LAYERS than Venti.

That right there? Face value, its a compliment, but we all know it's her insulting Zhongli's ability to stay incognito.

It's ALSO her acknowledging that, yes, she is aware Zhongli is, in fact Rex Lapis. Venti already implied he knows, so she decided to let Venti know that she knows, as well as saying that she knows that Venti knows he's Rex Lapis.

But the last layer is where I really started to dig. Don't see it yet? It took me a while too.

"From the sophisticated way he speaks, it's hard not to suspect that he could very well be an adeptus in disguise! Hehe."

Now, a simple question. When Hu Tao says "he," who is she talking about?

Obviously Zhongli right? But, considering that Hu Tao and Venti have spent this entire conversation hiding conversations within conversations, Venti clearly also has a sophisticated way of using words. If you substitute 'he' with Venti...

"From the sophisticated way VENTI speaks, it's hard not to suspect that VENTI could very well be an adeptus in disguise! Hehe."

This? This is an accusation. Hu Tao thinks Venti is not human. Hu Tao thinks Venti is sus.

You know what she does next?

She goes to Xiao, someone who actually knows Venti's true identity, and asks if he thinks it's possible that her accusation is true. Of course, Xiao doesn't know subtlety if it kicked him in the face, but still.

[Edit: After seeing the additional character interactions outside of the epilogue, I can almost certainly confirm that Hu Tao knows that Venti is the Anemo Archon.

Hu Tao: With that extraordinary demeanor and literary talent, he's definitely not just any bard. If he's someone that could hold his ground in a conversation with the consultant, he needs to at least be as talented as me!

(also she absolutely just implied she regularly holds her ground against Rex Lapis)]

Anyway, TL:DR, VenTao spent their second onscreen interaction by simultaneously flirting with each other, dunking on Zhongli, and somehow also fit in Hu Tao accusing Venti of being the anemo archon in TEN SENTENCES.

Their relationship is an onion of layers and it's everything I could have hoped for and more.

Oh and apparently I'm a fake VenTao shipper because Venti and Hu Tao have matching flowers in their hats and I never noticed.