#and they were like ‘yeah we would argue sometimes but no one every physically fought’

[keepthyfaithandthylight]

EVERYONE GATHER ROUND, I HAVE A NEW BRAIN ROT AND YOURE ALL HEARING ABOUT IT!!!!!!

Mr. Big.

Look at them!!

LOOK AT THEM!!!!

Theyre all so talented too, it’s insane

Also, Pat Torpey kind of looks like my mom’s ex. Unfortunately he is not Pat Torpey (RIP Pat Torpey) (so does Eric Martin, to an extent, but a different one long story)

Anywho, they’re cool and I think they’re very neat and talented and brain rot.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

WAIT WAIT— what if 👀 what if Yandere!Tubbo and Yandere!Tommy falling for the reader at the same time

BROO— THE ANGST POSSIBILITIES

ooooooOOOOO DAMN this one is gonna be good! I love the way you think! So I wrote this as headcanons, but I will write this as an actual story if requested. ^^

This is not exactly implied romantic??? I'm still scared about writing their characters as directly romantic????? I'll probably get braver about it but still lowkey worried.

Yandere!C!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!C!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic

Tommy, at first, completely denied even acknowledging your existence.

Until he saw someone interact with you.

Then he would start pulling out his sword or glaring at them from across the room.

He would definitely pin them in an alleyway and threaten every single one of their canon lives.

Tommy, please. Niki was just trying to give you cookies.

He's the kind of Yandere that would greatly keep his distance both physically, emotionally and mentally. Basically, he would be a Tsundere Yandere.

Tubbo, on the other hand, would be extremely sweet to you.

Need netherite? He had an extra few ingots ready in his pockets!

Interacting with someone who wasn't him? Was he not good enough for you??? Fine. You don't deserve him.

He would cry to you and make you feel guilty OR completely ignore you for a week straight until you come crawling back to him and apologizing.

Straight up can flip emotions like a switch.

The first time either of them realized the other liked you as well, was when they were listening to Mellohi on their bench, watching the sunset when they saw you having a conversation with Ranboo at the bottom of the cliff.

"What're they doing talking to him?" Tommy growled lowly and leaned forward to glared at the enderman who was talking to you. He reached for his bow n' arrow before Tubbo grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, "What? I don't want them talking to anyone but me."

"What do you mean 'anyone but you'?! You avoid them like they're a virus!" Tubbo stared at him, digging his fingers into Tommy's bicep a small bit to show his anger a bit more, "They should only be talking to me."

The blond turned towards his brunet friend and yanked his arm out of his grasp, "Excuse me?" He glared into Tubbo's dull blue eyes, gritting his teeth, "You do nothing but give them stuff!"

"And you treat them like shit and avoid them!" The smaller of the two retorted angrily, trying to keep his tone level enough to where you didn't hear.

Mellohi, the music that had been playing mere moments ago, slowly came to a stop and left nothing but silence and tension in the air. You had noticed them arguing from below, but Ranboo (who had heard their entire argument) decided to pull you away from them and bring you to the Tundra.

"Are you trying to take everything from me?!" Tommy tightened his grip on his diamond sword, although part of him knew that if Tubbo equipped his netherite armour, there would be absolutely no competition whatsoever.

"Take things from you?! They're a human being and you choose to ignore that fact when you ignore them or call them terrible names!"

"I treat everyone like that! You already have Ranboo, I don't understand why you're chasing after them with hearts in your eyes when you're fuckin' married! Loyal much! Oh wait, you aren't loyal, you EXILED ME!"

"It's platonic! I told you that already! And you're starting this again now, Tommy?!"

Ranboo actually felt nervous leaving you alone around both Tommy AND/OR Tubbo after hearing their entire argument that day.

Tommy, although now a lot nicer, became extremely clingy towards you and constantly would walk over and drag you away mid-conversation with anyone that wasn't him. ESPECIALLY if you were talking to Tubbo.

Man would bring you everywhere with him if you would let him.

Netherite mining? Get your pick.

To get new discs? Pack your bags, we're going on an adventure.

Straight up does everything he can do to get you away from Tubbo because he's petty.

He tried giving you as many gifts as Tubbo, but mans is broke.

Tubbo would get extremely annoyed by Tommy even just walking through the area when he was with you.

Would start to hold your hand or link arms with you (if you're comfortable), just so Tommy couldn't pull you away as easily.

Started to try guilt-tripping you into living in Snowchester, and even tried to get you to live in the mansion.

Ranboo actually lied to Tubbo, saying he was scared of enderwalking and hurting you, to convince Tubbo not to guilt-trip you further into living in the mansion.

Tubbo's constant gift-giving got so much more extreme.

Want netherite ingots to make armour?

Nope. No lifting a finger.

He already made you fully enchanted netherite god armour anyway.

Has definitely tried to convince Ranboo to let him involve you in the platonic marriage.

"Ranboo! My beloved!" Tubbo called jokingly, walking into their home. He kicked the snow on his boots before pulling down his hood and taking off his hat, hanging it on the hook as he took off his footwear, "I have a proposition for you!"

The monochrome-coloured man lifted his head and set down the journal in his hand, the ink likely still wet judging by the quill in his hand, "Yeah? What's that?" He placed the feathered pen in the pot of ink and turned to face his platonic husband.

"What would you say to extending our marriage to three people? Like a polyamorous relationship. Like Sapnap, Karl and Big Q?" Tubbo sat down in the chair beside him, watching as Ranboo was left reeling for a few seconds.

"W-well, one, I think you mean expanding. Two, with who?!" The tall male sat up quickly, bumping his leg on the table from his minor flailing, "A-and, and, what about Michael? Are you sure they can be trusted with him?"

Tubbo held out his hand to calm his friend down, making his friend put his hands down so he didn't accidentally hit something, "You know what I meant, and (Y/n)! Y'know... Like, the one with (h/l) (h/c) hair, (tall/short)! (Y/n), them!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know who they are, it's just..." He paused to gather his words, glancing away from his friend. In all reality, he wouldn't mind inviting you into the platonic marriage, even if he knew Tubbo felt more romantic feelings towards you. He didn't shut up about it. It was the fact that he was worried about what kind of mental manipulation Tubbo would do to you if you did agree to be in the marriage. Or even what Tommy would do to you or Tubbo!

"...Just?"

'Your relationship with Tommy is beyond screwed already... Imagine what would happen if both of his friends left him to be in a platonic relationship with me. Tubbo, all of us would be in severe danger.' He thought silently before taking a breath. "I-I don't have my enderwalking state under control... I'm already scared for Michael enough, and I don't want to hurt her as well... Give it some time and we'll see. Please.." He whispered, lying through his teeth. Ranboo knew you were damn good at protecting yourself and could knock his long and lanky ass to the dirt within seconds.

Tubbo's bright shiny eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment as his smile began to falter, "Ah... Yeah. I guess that makes sense. For their safety I suppose." His normal look returned and he gave him a smile, "Yeah, that does make a lot of sense. I'll ask again next month to see what happens."

"What... What about Tommy-"

"What about him?" He demanded sharply, his smile vanishing in mere seconds which caught Ranboo off guard yet again, "He doesn't need to be in their life. He would do more harm to them than good!"

Ranboo was left gaping, his mouth moving but not creating any sounds. He watched as Tubbo eyed him carefully before he got up, murmuring something about grabbing food then going to bed.

Once the goat hybrid was completely out of sight, Ranboo reached for his memory book and took the quill again.

'Protect (Y/n) from Tubbo and Tommy. Get them out of DreamSMP.'

Ranboo was scared for you.

He was stuck watching as these crazy two men fought over you, threatened you, manipulated you... It was worrying, to say the least.

Don't get him wrong. If he didn't have an adopted son, a platonic husband that he still cared about despite him being another Dream at this point, and a Syndicate to protect him from, he would've packed everything and ran, bringing you with him.

He was practically walking on eggshells around this man that he had once been extremely close to!

It practically sent shivers down his spine...

Eventually, it got to the point where Ranboo had gone to your house in the ungodly hours of the morning to talk to you.

This man LITERALLY crept into Tubbo's room AND Tommy's house to make sure they were both asleep before going to talk to you.

"Ran... Boo?" You asked, yawning softly as you leaned against the door, your hair all frizzy and messed up, "What's up? It'sssss... Like 5:30am. The sun is barely even up..."

"(Y/n)... Can we go inside? Please... There's something very wrong.." He murmured softly, his memory book tightly held in his grasp as he glanced around. Tommy could be waking up sometime soon, and he did not want to get caught talking to you. He would certainly be down a canon life before he could even say 'sorry'.

You watched the nervous man in front of you and nodded before stepping aside to let him in. Peaking outside, you looked around for what was causing him to panic but went back inside once you didn't see anything. "What's wrong?" Softening your tone, you gestured for him to sit at the table while you made coffee.

Once he had a fresh mug of coffee in front of him, Ranboo slowly began to gather his nerve and speak. He told you everything he could remember, and even opened his memory book to tell you about the things he didn't remember. Everything from the fight where Tommy and Tubbo's friendship completely went downhill a few months ago, to the threats Tubbo used against Tommy, the manipulation against you, the threats he had received by talking to you, and even Tubbo's violent mood switches when talking about you or Tommy.

The entire time, you just sat there wide-eyed as you listened to him ramble on about his fears and worries, and everything in between. He even mentioned wanting to actually divorce Tubbo because of how scared he was for you and his own life. "I don't... Not... Believe you... But this is- this is a little difficult to believe." You knew the enderman hybrid wouldn't lie about something so serious, and he definitely wouldn't be shaking like a leaf if it was a joke or a lie.

"Y-yeah, I expected that... But I really do care about your safety, honestly. You know I wouldn't joke about this kind of thing, especially about Tubbo." He murmured softly, looking at his crown laying on the table in front of him, "In all honesty, I came here this early because I was scared about Tommy trying to kill me if he saw me talking to you..."

"He wouldn't ki-"

The door slammed open dramatically and there was a cheerful shout of your name, "(Y/n)!!! Let's go mining for diamon-" Tommy walked into your kitchen, only to freeze mid-step and midfacial expression. His expression went from surprised to annoyance to a grim smile, "Hello Ranboo!" He gave him a smile that was more like baring his teeth as he twirled his axe nonchalantly.

He was going to hurt him...

[beigehearts]

BRO IVE BEEN WAITING FOR A POLY ASK: AND A YANDERE ONE??? THIS IS A GOLD MINE Thank you so much butterscotch princess😭

CW: mental/physical abuse, kidnap, fighting

Of course you love the both of them, if not you wouldn't be here. Or at least you did love them. They were a couple and you weren't particularly interested in being a home wrecker. Yet, you can't hide anything from these two, they're definitely not stupid. To be honest things were becoming stale for Hisoka, and that's when they invited you into their relationship. Everything seemed so perfect at first, two men that you loved dearly who provided a balanced life. You could go to Hisoka for something exciting and new, but sit down with Illumi and relax. The three of you made a power throuple. But if it seems like it is too good to be true, it is. It really was too good.

It had been a few months into the relationship when there were red flags. Illumi and Hisoka never fought for each other, they never had to. You made sure they had their own time with each other. It was when it came to you that there was a problem. Constant arguing and fights over who gets to spend time with you and enjoy your company. Your idea of all of you hanging out was shut down, they each wanted their alone time with you. It went on like this for a few months. Until one day, it all stopped.

Suddenly it seemed as if your boyfriends had never fought in the first place. They never argued over spending time with you, they just knew when they could be with you one on one. At first you thought it was great. You were worried about their relationship for one another, and if it would last much longer like this. They must have talked about it civilly, otherwise it couldn't be so easy for them.

All of the red flags had been lowered and it was back to the honeymoon phase. The three of you got to cuddle at night while you could still have coffee with just one of them in the morning, or they could together. Honestly you weren't so sure about a polyamorous relationship in the beginning, but now you wouldn't change it for the world. Well, at that time you wouldn't have.

Suddenly the atmosphere changed, and you did not see it coming. Whenever you planned to go out, Hisoka and Illumi seemed to be on the same page about you not leaving. ----

"Hey, I'm gonna go hang out with some friends, I'll see you guys later!" You called out as you tied your shoes.

Illumi began taking off your coat and now you were very confused. "You shouldn't go out." He stated.

Hisoka chimed in from the kitchen while he made coffee, "It's going to rain, we don't want you to get caught in a storm."

"I'll just bring an umbrella, and anyway, Daisy will just drive me home." You responded.

Illumi shook his head and hung up your coat, "The news said it would be really bad today."

Hisoka added, "You guys may not even be able to drive in that kind of rain."

---- Everytime it went like this, there was always an excuse. It even got so bad that you were fired from your job. You spend every day at home now. Any time you even mention leaving anymore now, it isn't just excuses. "You won't be able to protect yourself." "Fine, if you get hurt it's your fault." "You can't apply to another job, you really think you can get another one after being fired?" Always something, and it's really starting to get to you. Soon enough it only escalated at it had been. You got dressed to leave and ignored their excuses, opening the door and stepping out. That's when it happened, that's when everything really changed. As you went to shut the door behind yourself, it slammed shut. It slammed shut right on your fingers.

Illumi came out and carried you back inside while you gasped and cradled your hand to your chest. "This is what happens when you don't listen to us. You'll get hurt." That's when you realized how bad things really had gotten. You were pretty sure that three of your fingers were broken, but Illumi wrapped them up with a splint and called it a day.

You just can't do this anymore. If they aren't going to let you leave, then you're going to have to sneak out. Or devise a plan. Of course Hisoka went through your messages, but that would be perfect for your plan. You managed to create a text chain with your 'sick older sister'. She asked that you come to see her ASAP because she is not doing well. This is something that they would allow you to do since it would be a one time thing.

As you laced your shoes and shrugged on a jacket, Hisoka and Illumi watched. Hisoka's hand was wrapped around Illumi's waist, and you could see his anxious grip on him.

"Okay, I'll be back at 4 pm." You had learned to lie through your teeth like a pro.

Hisoka forced a smile and nodded, "Illumi will be there to pick you up."

You give the both of them a quick kiss on the cheek and trot out of the door while waving. "See you soon!"

The sound of the door clicking closed behind you was the sound of jail break. You couldn't help it... You skipped down the hallway while giggling, until your skip turned into a run. And when you turned around? No one was there.

----

Killua and Gon were a god send. They accepted you as a person and your friendship became unbreakable. Each day when you woke up, you were excited to face the day. Most of your free time is spent with these two goof balls. If not with them, you're working.

They swung by your workplace when your shift ended so you guys could hangout. While these two are younger than you, they're very mature. Sometimes. And all of their friends are your friends, Kurapika and Leorio who are closer to your age. You would hang out with them too if it weren't for the fact they were always out of town for work.

The three of you make your way to the convenience store. Killua had been begging for the past two days that you guys go get Choco Robots.

Gon checks his phone and announces, "Kurapika and Leorio will be back tomorrow! Leorio said they got a hotel room for the night and would be back to travelling by tomorrow."

You and Killua know that means they're sharing a bed, but Gon is oblivious. And it's really not important for Gon to know at the moment.

Killua throws his arms in the air and yawns, "You always get off work so late. Why can't you work any earlier?"

"Tell that to my manager, she's the one in control of that." You retort.

An idea pops into Gon's head and you can tell because his eyes light up. "Instead of going all the way home, you should sleep over with us tonight! Alluka would love to see you again!"

"You know that her place is closer to us right now than ours, right?" Killua asks.

Gon's eyebrows furrow and he puts a finger to his lip, "Oh yeah..."

The convenience store's doors slide open and make a quiet 'ding' sound. Killua makes a bee line for the Choco Robots and begins putting the whole stock into a basket. You and Gon look at the drinks section and he settles on some strawberry lemonade. Besides the sleeping cashier, you three are the only ones perusing through the gas station sized mart.

Gon is pointing out the condoms and asking what they are when the soft 'ding' of the door sounds out. Killua is blushing and telling him to put the box back while you hold back laughter.

"Gon! Stop it! Just- just put them back!" He stutters out. They may have seemed mature for their age at first, but moments like this make you question it.

You feel a hot breath on the back of your neck and the voice to follow shakes you to your core.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

You whip around and push Hisoka away from you, it doesn't do anything but he does step back. Next to him is Illumi, eyeing not only you but his little brother. You knew they were brothers because Killua told you, but you never expected to see them in the same room together.

Killua's eyes go wide and Gon is already in a defensive position.

Ilumi takes his attention away from Killua and he leers at you instead. "That was a long trip to the hospital. Did you get lost leaving the building?"

"Hey! Why don't you just leave y/n alone?!" Gon barks at them.

It all happens in seconds, if you had blinked you would have missed it. Killua is slammed into the floor and his head makes a hard 'clunk' sound. Before Gon has the chance to attack, he's throw into a display rack, and tumbles to the ground. Killua is too dazed to react. Hisoka makes sure Gon can't get back up by stomping on his stomach, making him cough up blood.

Your last moment of freedom is spent by watching your friends be beat up. A cloth is pressed against your mouth and nose, and your arms are held behind your back. It smells heavily like cleaning supplies, potent ones. It takes a few breaths before you get dizzy, and until you begin losing control of your body. Hisoka is bent down in front of you and he places a kiss to your forehead.

You wish you knew what he said, but you've already succumbed to unconsciousness. Your freedom is relinquished once again.

[thirstystarkey]

HATE CAN SOUND LIKE LOVE • JJ MAYBANK

Summary: JJ and Y/N have always fought, since everyone can remember. They both have short tempers and a endless love for surf and chaos. But what happens when they have to pretend to be a couple? Well.. people always said that hate can sound like love sometimes.

Warnings: Mention of underage drinking, drugs, minor violence, some smutty scenarios and a ton of sexual induendos, JJ being a hot idiot and Y/N a wild girl brat

CHAPTER 09

The boneyard was a sacred place for everyone who lived in Outer Banks, from the pogues to the kooks, both so different yet both loved the boneyard, at the last saturday of every month everyone got together in a big party with a bonefire. There was a lot of cheap beer and gross horny teens macking each other. And that day was today. Y/N appreciated the bonfire at the boneyard, she’d play the ukulele while Kiara sang some random reggae song about peace and love, the other pogues to invested in other activities. John B would spend his night with Sarah cuddling in the warmth of the fire and Pope would stay with his girl best friends drinking beer until some other chick got his attention and there was JJ at his best, planting chaos at every step he took. Flirting with every living being and most of the times getting in trouble. There was one year where Y/N and JJ fought so hard they ended up in the water for god knows what reason.

But this year was different. They had a plan and they had to act accordingly to it. There was no flirting with other girls only Y/N, not that JJ was mad about it, he found a new joy and pleasure at making Y/N flustered with his dirty pogue mouth.

Here and now the girls got ready at Sarah’s home before meeting the rest of the group. They chatted cheerfully about girly stuff until Kiara mentioned JJ’s name who made Y/N blush red, remembering the night at her moms diner.

“I think you beat the record.” Kiara laughed. “One week without fighting, it’s surprisingly odd.” The brown haired girl added.

“They’re falling madly and utterly in love!” Sarah joked dramatically with a makeup brush in her hand.

Y/N choked hearing Sarah. “Thats insane.” She said quickly bit remembered the plan afterwards. “But what if we were, thats none of your business.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Sarah commented.

“Neither I’d be.” Kiara stated. “I sense a huge amount of sexual tension there.”

“And I sense a huge amount of chakras who need to be realigned.” Y/N joked messing Kiara’s hair.

Once together at the bonfire the pogues drank in group and catch in conversation with the other teenagers they knew. JJ came out of nowhere with two red cups full of beer and hugged Y/N’s shoulders making the girl blush and flinch at the sudden physical contact.

“This is for you.” He offered sweetly handing her one of the cups.

“Thanks J.” Y/N smiled softly at him while the other pogues observed a bit intrigued.

“What’s going on?” Pope asked straight way with a discomfort face.

“Nothing.” JJ shrugged his shoulders after sitting down beside his fake girlfriend.

“That didn’t seem like nothing.” John B stated pointing at them.

“It’s a peace offering.” The blond surfer winked kissing Y/N cheek.

In that moment Y/N swore her whole body melt, it was strangely odd but in a much bigger way it was comforting. JJ’s lips were warm and soft against her cold skin, the soft fabric of her shirt wasn’t warm enough for the night.

“Ewwww!” All the pogues fake vomited.

“Get a room!” Kiara joked while dying of laughter.

The night went one nicely until Y/N got up and JJ followed, the other pogues didn’t payed much attention to invested in their own chats. JJ grabbed her arm stopping her from leaving.

“Where are you going?” He asked her.

“Get a new drink. Walk a bit.” Y/N answered like it wasn’t a big deal. “Why?”

“Wanted to make sure you were fine.” JJ explained. “And you were shivering so I figured you may want this.” He said taking off his coat, passing her it.

“JJ you know you don’t need to fake caring about me.” The girl sounded confused yet she took the coat for she was actually freezing.

“I’m not faking anything.” JJ bursted his words fast. “I mean, I’m not faking caring about you and it’s just a coat, it’s part of our plan.” He talked fast trying to prove his point, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, of course, the plan.” Y/N whispered to herself deflated.

“What did you say?” JJ questioned getting closer, all the screaming behind made it hard to chat.

“I said, thank you. I’m gonna get going.” She said louder, hiding what she truly said.

“See you soon.” JJ smiled at her before turning his back, making his way to the group.

Y/N really didn’t understood why she got so sad all of a sudden. She knew it was all fake and she knew JJ would never actually care about her, he just wanted to make a scene and he did. How could he eventually care for her when they spent most of the time fighting instead of figuring their problems, it made no sense in her head but for some odd reason Y/N wanted to make things right this time or at least end the meaningless arguments.

The red headed girl made her way to the place her drinks were being served, almost dragging her feet along the sand with both hands shoved in his pocket.

On the other said sat JJ, carefully following her steps with his gaze, pretending he listened to the other pogues, he just wanted to make sure no one got in her way or messed with her. He’d always do it in secret, but now he didn’t had to hide it anymore.

Y/N got her beer from one of the pogues who served drinks and when she was about to leave the only person she actually loathed stand in her way.

Rafe Cameron. The golden boy who had anything he wanted, except he got it with his dad money. Even though he was Sarah’s brother Sarah was totally different from him, she’s a loving caring friend when Rafe only cares with his own well being. The kook tried is luck with Y/N a lot of times, never succeeding.

“Such a pretty girl drinking dirty pogues beer.” Rafe shook his head. “It’s a shame.”

“Leave me alone Rafe.” Y/N warned fed up.

“You should drink with us.” He laughed. “Were you may belong.” He teased her making her fume.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know.” Y/N angrily stated. “I know my place and it isn’t at figure 8.”

“You’re the one who’s missing sweetheart.” Rafe got closer to her. “Why don’t you let me show you real fun.” Rafe was pretty intoxicated, Y/N could feel the alcohol in his breath, but still he was stronger and way taller than her which scared her a bit due to the sudden proximity.

“I think the girl said she doesn’t want anything from you.” A strong voice made itself heard from behind Rafe. It was JJ who saw the whole thing and from Y/N body language he decided it was time to intervene.

“And I think this isn’t non of your business dirty ass pogue.”

“Fuck off Rafe. Leave us alone.” Y/N spoke fed up with Rafe.

“You heard her, fuck off Rafe.” JJ teased Rafe, making him mad.

It all happen to fast for Y/N to process, one moment they were arguing in each other face while she tried to break it off and the other Rafe pushed her back making Y/N fall to the ground spilling her drink in the sand. Rafe pounched JJ’s nose which started a messy fight until everyone gather around them, the pogues tried to end the fight while Kiara and Sarah squated to check on Y/N.

“This isn’t over.” Rafe screamed. “I don’t give a fuck about your fake pogue bitch.” He said in a cold voice.

Tag list 💞

@thatsonobx @starkeybaby @this-is-bigger-than--us @ahhireallydontknow @tomzfrog @alotbnouf @outerbankstings @jj-maybank-stan @jellyfishbeansontoast @rafecamerondeservesbetter @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @tembo-ndoto @poguebx @k-k0129 @pleaseminho @obxmxybxnk @stilinskiandsuch @lcil123 @fandom-phaser @sexualparkour @myrandom-fandomlife @lasnaro @kristineee-obx @sw-eat-ing @strangebirds2 @kiarascarreras @jjswhore @milamaybank @marveloucnco @downbytheouterbanks @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @annedub @drizzlethatfalls @tovvaf @drewswannabegirl @whoreforouterbanks @newhopenessie @maybebanks @poguesrforlife @shawnssongs @wastedheartcth @rudyypankow @danicarosaline @sc4rlettm @hufflepeople @merc12-us @punkrainbows @obliviatevamps @tangledinsparkles

[happyandticklish]

Not Like That

Notes: I just finished Sex Education on Netflix and it was amazing! Highly recommend it, though it is a rather mature show, fair warning. In regards to the fic, slight NSFW only in that the act of sex is mentioned but there’s no actual description of it. 

Summary: Adam never smiles and Eric finally stumbles across a method of making that a reality. 

“You know, you’re really good at this for someone who pretended to be straight my first three years of high school.”

Adam grunted and gently bit his neck in retaliation for the comment. “You talk too much.

“You know, you’re not the first person to say that to me.”

The two were curled up in one of the many chairs they had rummaged out of the trash heap that was their meeting spot. It was rickety and falling apart at the seams, but Eric enjoyed the semi romantic aspect to it; a bed would have been too formal. Adam liked it because it meant he could tilt the chair back and Eric would let out a startled yelp that he found adorable.

Currently, Adam was pressed up against Eric, devouring him from the neck down. They had quickly discovered that Adam was a far more affectionate lover than he was person and often enjoyed doing most of the grunt work. Eric had tried to reverse their positions loads of times, but Adam would always turn it back on him by either pinning his hands above his head or physically biting him as he he had seconds beforehand, not that Eric was complaining really.

Eric slid his hands under the hem of Adam’s shirt, the soft material giving instantly. Adam closed his eyes, tightening his grip on the other boy. He moved down, softly sucking the delicate skin of his chest and down his stomach, causing Eric to inhale sharply. They only got so far before Adam stiffened, freezing under his hands.

“Adam?” Eric slowly opened his eyes, breathing uneven as he spoke the name. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he snapped immediately. Eric narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to pursue the subject further, but Adam was already unbuckling the clasps of his jeans and all conversation was soon lost to him.

Nothing happened again until they were finished, Eric’s face buried in Adam’s chest while he listened to his gentle breathing. He traced light spirals up and down his back, the touch straying a bit too close to his sides at times. Adam hissed softly, goosebumps prickling down his skin. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Eric raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Don’t touch you? We just had sex, I think it’s a little late for that.”

“No,” Adam clarified, clearing his throat. “Just not, uh, not like that.”

“Like what.”

“Like…” Adam picked up the other boy’s hands, maneuvering the fingers so they traced over his sides yet again. “That.”

“Why?”

Adam sighed in annoyance, not wanting to have to spell it out for him. Eric could be strangely dense sometimes, and that was coming from him. “It… tickles. It tickled, I mean. When your hand… yeah.”

“Oh.” Eric paused, letting the information set in for a moment, before a devious grin began to take over his features. “Oh.”

Adam jerked back instinctively, but there was really only so much room in the broken down chair and he quickly found himself trapped between the armrest and Eric. “No. Don’t. I know what you’re planning, Tromboner, and you’ll be dead in the morning if you so much as try it.”

“You couldn’t kill me,” Eric scoffed. “Not to mention, you can’t just drop information like ‘Adam Groff is ticklish’ and expect me not to do anything about it.”

“Yes, I can,” Adam said, glaring intently at him in an attempt to gain back any intimidation factors he had possessed before. “And you won’t.”

“I’ll be gentle,” Eric promised, shifting around so that he straddling the other boy. “I just want to see what ticklish Adam looks like.”

“Fuck off—”

“Two minutes,” Eric interrupted, leaning forward. The sudden proximity caused a blush to bloom across Adam’s features, despite the fact that they had fucked less than two minutes ago. “Just two minutes and then you can shove me off, get revenge, do whatever. I just want two minutes without any interruptions.”

Adam bit his lip, mulling it over. “And I can get you back for it?”

“Sure, sure,” Eric agreed hastily, pushing back his own nerves. He could already tell Adam wasn’t going to go easy on him afterwards. Still, it was too good an oppurtunity to overlook; he would just have to make sure every second counted. “Do we have a deal?”

Adam examined him critically, quickly weighing out the cost/benefits in his mind. Finally he grunted, reluctantly pulling his arms above his head. “Fine. Just two minutes though.”

Eric grinned triumphantly and Adam felt his stomach flood with butterflies. He wasn’t super accustomed to feeling nervous, at least not this nervous. Scared sure, sometimes even downright terrified, but usually that was interspersed with feelings of anger and pain. This was… nice. Like having your first kiss or that feeling he would get whenever he caught Eric’s eye and the latter would smile back at him.

He interlaced his fingers at the back of his neck, locking them in place. He wanted to have a strong hold just in case he found it was more than he could handle and try to back out.

Eric’s hands rested on his stomach for a moment, lightly tapping his fingers. Adam watched him apprehensively. “Well?”

“Well what?” Eric asked innocently, every once in a while giving too firm of a tap and making the other boy flinch.

“Well,” Adam repeated irritably. “Aren’t you going to tickle me?”

“Yes, I just want to find the right way to go about it. You’ll know when I start.”

Okay, this was already more than he could handle. When Eric had first suggested it he had assumed he meant a quick rough and tumble kind of thing that he could grunt his way through and be over with. Now, with his body so stretched out and vulnerable and Eric’s eyes calculatingly roaming over him, he was beginning to regret his choice.

When Eric’s finally began, it was softer than he was expecting it to be. Starting at his hips, Eric slowly crawled his fingers up his sides in a way that was ever-so-gentle and undeniably ticklish. Adam inhaled sharply, his eyebrows drawing up helplessly as he fought to hold in laughter. Already every part of him wanted to shove Eric away and rub away the devastating sensations. Instead he just sat there, waiting in dreadful anticipation for Eric to reach his final destination.

Inches away from his armpits, however, Eric stopped his ascent and went all the way back to his hips. The sudden movement started a stifled grunt from him and Adam glared at him, quickly catching on to his game. Eric acted oblivious as he began the climb anew, this time digging in a little more with his fingers.

It only took three runs of the cruel teasing before Adam finally broke and stuttered laughter rose from his throat, a desperate edge to it. Eric’s eyes widened at the sound, one he had heard rarely in his life. His laugh was rough around the edges, like him, but there was a softer, more subdued side to it that made Eric’s heart melt. One of his favorite things about these secret meetings was getting to see these new, gentler sides to Adam, reserved only for him. He determined then that this would not be the last time he made him laugh like this.

“A-Ahaha, E-Eheric,” Adam stammered, legs trembling as he fought not to accidentally knee the other boy off of him. “T-Thahahat’s… heh, thahahahat’s—”

“What?” Eric asked curiously, but picked up the pace of his fingers so they raced towards his armpits before dragging back down his hips. “That’s what?”

Adam jumped at that, snorting. “Thahahat tihihihihickles!”

“I know man,” Eric agreed. “That’s kind of the whole point.”

The first minute and a half proceeded thusly, with Eric keeping Adam constantly on the edge as he tried to figure out what Eric was going to do. Soon his laughter became a mixture of breathy giggles and whines, a blush blooming across his features. Adam quickly regretted the decision to put his hands behind his head as it made it impossible to cover his expressions that he found dorky and Eric found adorable.

Finally though, Eric decided it was time to strike. He spidered his fingers around his hips for a moment, throwing the other boy off guard, and then jumped up to his armpits, drilling his fingers in viciously.

Adam shrieked. The bolt of electricity that shot through him sent fresh laughter tumbling from his mouth and instantly his arms came down and he shoved Eric off a bit harder than he probably needed to. This resulted in Eric falling out of the chair, eyes wide at the unexpected turn of events, and yelping as he hit the ground. Adam, skin still tingling slightly, quickly scrambled from his chair to see if the other was okay.

Eric, however, was laughing when Adam crouched over him, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation setting in. His concern quickly turned to embarrassment, and Adam crossed his arms petulantly as Eric sat up on his elbows. “It’s not funny.”

“It is funny,” Eric argued, shaking his head. “I never knew you were that ticklish man.”

“I’m not,” Adam insisted immediately, prompting Eric to fall into another round of laughter at the obvious denial. “Whatever. I get to get my revenge now, right? That was the deal.”

That shut him up. Eric sat up fully, subconsciously gripping his sides in preparation. “No, that was not the deal. The deal was that if you could last for two minutes then you could get me back. You only lasted for one minute and 45 seconds.”

“I rounded up.” Adam was grinning in a way that was wholly unsettling and Eric’s stomach dropped. “Now let’s see how you handle it, Effiong.”

Eric, as it turned out, was a screamer, and the two were quickly discovered and kicked out before anything serious could happen. When the two of them were saying goodbye, however, Adam managed to sneak a hand under Eric’s shirt when they were kissing and ghost his fingers quickly over his skin. It was a promise of a proper revenge yet to come, and between Eric’s nervous grin and Adam’s devious one, it was sure to be one he’d remember for a while.

[dragonsfictavern]

Helping Hands

Five x Unrelated Female

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.8K

𝗮/𝗻: So with the new season of TUA having come out today, I thought it would be the perfect time to post a little oneshot I thought of. This would be a little before Five got himself stuck in the future. Background information is the reader was born on the same day as the academy kids and she has her own powers. But her family didn’t give her up for adoption. She was raised in an abusive home and often went to the academy for solace. She was in the academy and went on their missions. She just wasn’t adopted by Reginald. Reginald often called her Number 8 or The Extra. Reader is closest to Five, Klaus, and Vanya.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Experiencing, signs, and talking about child abuse.

My stomach aches with every step I take. My hand laid flat against it, as if that would ease the pain. There was a gash across my hairline, my lip was split and blood dried across my chin and throat. It hurt to breathe too deeply and every step I took made me believe as though his hands were personally gripping my ribs and squeezing tightly. The last of my injuries consisted of a throb in my ankle.

I turned the corner, staying along the side of the walk as to not get knocked by the busying New Yorkers. I grip at their gate and limp along, with the gates help, until I reach the Hargreeves main gate. I open it and step up the stairs.

“Ah, dammit,” I grit out. The pain in my ribs increases with each step. My stomach churns and I fear I may vomit. I stumble up and lean against the side of the wall.

I lift up my fist to knock as loudly as I was physically able. I wait… and wait. No one answers. I bang my fist on the door again.

“Will someone answer that door?!” I hear the voice of Reginald Hargreeves snap from inside the home. I knock again; with a little less power than before. My breath quickened and I fought off a groan. “Will someone get the damn door?! Grace! Pogo! Anybody!” He shouted once again.

There was silence. Or at least I couldn’t hear anything. I waited patiently. I knew not to bug Mr. Hargreeves too much. If he couldn’t help, I would just go to the free clinic. Maybe they would be able to help. I wasn’t sure if they were able to help me without an adult present though… I was only thirteen. But I couldn’t go back there.

My mind was so overwhelmed with thoughts of what alternatives I could possibly go to that I didn’t hear Mr. Hargreeves himself open the door. I jump, finally noticing that he was standing there, looking at me with his beady eyes.

“Number 8!” He exclaimed, seeming as surprised as he was able. “What are you doing here? There is no mission, today,” he states. I exhale sharply, looking down at my shoes.

“I-I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know where else to go,” I say timidly. I don’t dare look back up at him. I feared too greatly that he was going to send me away. He doesn’t say anything, nor do I. The tension in the air was thick and yet I wasn’t sure what to make of it. So I finally look up.

Mr. Hargreeves eyes were already looking at my face. He looked with an understanding eye as he took in my injuries. This was not the first time I had shown up at the door on non-mission days in this type of condition. I also suspected that this wouldn’t be the last. His gaze moved all the way down to my swelling ankle. When he finished assessing the damage, he clicked his tongue and nodded.

“Well then, we better get you inside and get those checked on,” he stated. He stepped back and opened the door wider for me. I peered into the foyer and saw a glimpse of Vanya peeking her head from the living room. “Come now, we haven’t got all day,” he snaps. I exhale, looking down at my ankle. I wasn’t sure I could walk on it for much longer.

“Uh, sir?” I look from my ankle to him and down again. He realizes the issue and thinks for a moment, his lips pursed.

“Number Five!” Mr. Hargreeves shouts.

In an instant, a circle of blue appears out of thin air and Five steps out of it. His eyes instantly connect to mine. I smile brightly, instinctively standing up straighter and forgetting the ankle. I wince and stumble back again the wall around the door. Five’s eyes widen. He shoots from out of the house and is carefully guiding my left arm around his shoulder. I hop, finding my footing and finding myself very close to him. I pray my cheeks don’t flush.

“It happened again?” Five asked, jaw clenched tightly as he looked in my eyes— purposely avoiding the cuts and bruises.

“Yes,” I admit softly. I looked back into his eyes and I was entranced. We were dangerously close, so close I could see every speck of gold in his green eyes.

I had probably been in… like, with Five ever since I knew what liking a boy meant. Once I got over the fact that they too had cooties, the fact that cooties were not a thing, and the fact that I found boys— specifically Five, very attractive. I hadn’t admitted them and I didn’t plan on it. We were young and had all the time in the world. What’s the rush?

“Come on, come on! We cannot keep this door open. Come in, the two of you. Five, help her down to the infirmary,” Mr. Hargreeves demands, turning around and walking deeper into the house. Five doesn’t move. He keeps staring at me.

“I hate this keeps happening,” he grits out. I push myself closer to him and squeeze my arm in an awkwardly done hug.

“Me too..” i trail off. Five sighs deeply. “Now help me out, here. I’m feelin’ kinda rough,” I tease. What was meant to be a joke, turned out to be a mistake. Five shakes his head, jaw locked. But he starts to move. He slides an arm around my waist and helps me through the threshold.

When we step in, I look up, surprised, to see Mr. Hargreeves had actually waited. He had seen the encounter. That got my cheeks to flush. I duck my head as we start following him through the house. As we pass the living room, I once again catch Vanya peeking out at me with worry in her eyes.

“Number 7! Go back to your lessons. This is a private matter!” Mr. Hargreeves ordered. Vanya frowned, looking away from me and walking back to her lessons. Five and I glance at each other with a look of regret.

We hated how Vanya was treated just because she didn’t have any powers. I open my mouth to argue and ask her to help when Five squeezes my hip. My jaw snaps shut as I inhale sharply. I tense in his hold before I look over to him.

“Let it go,” he whispers in my ear. That was not helping me right now. I turn my head to him, causing our faces to be painstakingly close. Also not helping.

“But Five…”

“Not a fight fit for today,” he says lowly, finally acknowledging the cuts and bruises on my face. I nod and let it go. For now.

We both continue to follow Mr. Hargreeves when suddenly Klaus comes dancing in, a Walkman in his hands and headphones over his ears. I giggle when Mr. Hargreeves stops abruptly. Five sighs and rearranges his hold on me, pulling me right against his side in the process.

“Number Four!” Mr.Hargreeves snaps. Klaus’ back was facing towards us and his hips were shaking wildly. I giggle again, using my free hand to cover my mouth before it caught Mr. Hargreeves attention. “NUMBER. FOUR!” Mr. Hargreeves yelled. Klaus jumped about a foot in the air before he spun on his heel, ready to give the excuse of a lifetime when he saw Five helping me stand.

“Now what happened here?” He asked inquisitively. He stepped over to the other side of me, eyeing my injuries. “So this has happened once again, my friend?” He asks, moving his left arm to steady his right one as he thrummed his fingers against his cheek.

“Yes, it has. And we’re trying to get her some help. So if you don’t mind moving,” Five says slowly as if that’s the only way to get Klaus to understand something. It usually is.

“Why, yes, dear brother! I would just love to go with you guys to… you know, help out. Check out some things. Make sure our little number 8 is alright,” he gushes, patting my cheek a bit as to not hurt me even further.

“Number Four, you will not be a burden to me right now,” Mr. Hargreeves scolds. Klaus’ smile instantly drops as he meets the eye of his father.

“I would like to help in any way I can,” Klaus states.

“You can’t help!” Mr. Hargreeves shouts, heading down towards the stairs to the left.

“Then I’ll be there for moral support,” Klaus shouts back. Mr. Hargreeves stops and looks at him. Klaus makes a cross over his heart before resting his hand on top of it. “I’ll be as silent as the dead…”

Mr. Hargreeves narrows his eyes before letting out a grunt and heading down the stairs. Five starts moving us as well and this time Klaus follows. He bends down to my height.

“Unluckily and luckily enough, the dead aren’t so silent for me,” he said with a cheeky grin and a sly wink. He bounds ahead and practically skips down the stairs. I see Five shake his head and I couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Five asks, looking between me and the stairs to help me down.

“You. Klaus. Your family,” I admit. Five scoffs.

“Yeah. My family-“

“Is wonderful.” I interrupt. He stops us, about midway down the flight of stairs. He looks up at me and we seem to have an understanding.

“Maybe they don’t want to make me gauge my eyes out… sometimes,” He admits in a voice so quiet I strain to hear him. I smile and continue down the steps.

The infirmary was in the lowest level of the house. The walls were stone and dark grey. Gourneys were lined up against the wall. Eight of them to be specific. Cabinets, cupboards, and tables decorated the walls. Supplies for any medical emergency. Probably better than any free clinic.

Mr. Hargreeves picks me up and places me carefully on top of a gourney. Klaus sits on the one across from me and Five sticks right by my side.

Grace walks in almost immediately after we settle in and I see pogo waiting in the back. Grace walks up to me and smiles brightly.

“Hello, dear. What happened?” She asks. I look down at my hands and begin to fiddle with them.

“I got hurt…”

“Oh no! How terrible. Well, dear, how did you get-“

“Get the antiseptic, Grace! Now!” Mr. Hargreeves stops her from asking the dreaded question. Grace’s eyes widen before she looks over at Mr. Hargreeves and nods. She makes her way to the supplies. “And we’ll need two wraps and some bandaids. Hurry along now!” He adds. Grace was quick to make haste and bring him all supplies he needed.

It was surprising but Klaus managed to stay decently quiet. The occasional question, whether of what his father was doing, or how I was, he asked. He often repeated questions. Mr. Hargreeves attempted to ignore him but it was becoming difficult. What added to his patience wearing thin was the swinging of Klaus’ legs that hung over the gourney. It created a loud squeaking sound. Five on the other hand stood perfectly still. Stiff, actually. His jaw was locked and his fists were clenched. He looked carefully at what Mr. Hargreeves was doing.

Mr. Hargreeves paid careful attention. He applied antiseptic on my cuts and placed bandaids over them. He had the boys turn around as he had to lift up my shirt to check my ribs. Five had respectably turned around without argue while Klaus had made some quip about how it wouldn’t bother him. His father yelled and although Klaus relented, a wickedly amused smirk danced across his face just as he danced earlier.

Mr. Hargeeeves assured me nothing was broken. Just a few very badly bruised ribs. He left my ankle for last and like my ribs, it wasn’t broken. But sprained. He wrapped both my torso and my ankle. When he had finished, he cleared his throat and stepped back. Klaus immediately jumped off of the gourney.

“So… is she all good doc?” Klaus asked, peering up at him.

“That’s Mr. Hargreeves to you,” he corrected. Klaus frowned before turning to me. “As for you, Number 8. I want you to head to the living room and ice that ankle for awhile.” He holds out his hand out and Grace places an ice pack in it. He holds it out for me to take.

“Thanks for the advice, pop, but I got her from here. I’ll take her off your hands,” Five says with a cheerey smile that was clearly forced. Five quickly takes the ice pack and grabs my hand. He creates a portal and walks through it, dragging me with him. As we move through, I can faintly hear Klaus shout a ‘wait for me.’

I was surrounded by darkness with only Fives hand to guide me. But it only lasted a moment before I was bouncing up and down, having landed already sitting down in Fives bed. I look at the sudden scenery change in shock before my eyes flicker over to Five as he carefully places the ice pack on my ankle before he begins to pace his room. I sigh.

“Five…” I trail off softly. Five stops abruptly, pointing a finger at me.

“He shouldn’t even be near you, let alone hurting you like that!” Five seethes. My shoulders sag as I realize Five had been holding that in since he saw me standing outside of the academy.

“I know,” I say just as softly. He needed to vent this out. I would too if that’s how I dealt with things.

He went back to his pacing before he would randomly stop and kick something before continuing again. I would jump every time. Five began muttering under his breath, saying something I couldn’t even comprehend before he stopped and started kicking his dresser.

“Five! Five stop it!” I shout, not being able to get up and actually stop him. He didn’t listen to me anyway, but rather kicked harder. The wood was starting to chip away. “Five, please! Stop this!”

Five whirled around to face me. “Why haven’t you ever stopped him?! You have powers for gods sakes and you won’t even use them to protect yourself?!!” Five shouts out desperately. I flinch back. His gaze immediately softens and leaves only the remnants of sadness and eagerness. He walks forward and kneels beside the bed next to me. “Why don’t you save yourself?” he whispers. Tears begin to whell up in my eyes.

“Because he’ll only hit harder if I do,” I whimper, tears freely flowing down my face. Five freezes for a moment before sprinting into action. He gets up and sits parallel to my legs on the bed. He takes me into his arms and hugs me as I cry.

“Then I’ll protect you… Sometimes we need others strength in order to gain our own. I’ll—I’ll be your strength,” Five says slowly, making sure his words came out right. Thought the tears continued to fall, I laughed through them.

“When did you become so wise?” I ask him. He shrugs in our embrace.

“I guess I’m just an old soul..”

He keeps me in his arms for a few minutes and I treasure them. Comfort from the boy I liked. Only when we both felt comforted enough to let go, did we slip away from each other. I leant back against the headboard and stared at him. He stared back, a lazy smile on his face. I softly grab his hand and squeeze.

“Promise me you won’t leave. I don’t know how I would handle life without… your sarcasm, of course,” I finish, trying not to make the laugh leaving me sound too awkward. I wanted of say so much more than I did. But I had time. I had time to say all I needed too. I just wasn’t brave enough now. A look flickered over his features before he squeezed my hand firmly.

“I promise.” He nods.

Suddenly the door slams open and Klaus crashes down onto the floor. Five and I instantly look down at Klaus who seemed fine enough just laying on Fives floor.

“What the hell guys..? Why didn’t you take me with you?!” Klaus groans dramatically. Five ignores him and instead looks back to me.

“Only sometimes,” Five says, squinting his eyes and angling his head for a moment. I laugh, shaking my head.

Five moves to sit next to me, looking down at his brother as he nonchalantly grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. Nothing could stop me from smiling, especially as we both looked down at Klaus who hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor.

“Come on. Get up,” Five says.

“No.” Klaus pouts. “I’ve been banished to the floor and the floor is where I will stay.” Klaus sighs.

“Klaus? We would really like to un-banish you from the floor,” I say. Klaus peaks an eye open and up at us.

“Really?” He asks. We both nod. “Ok!” He scrambles up off the floor and jumps on the bed.

[draven-imani]

Journal 5 (part 1)

We’ve had an…extremely productive day. We found a note on Hosilla’s person that detailed three safehouses of the cult of Baphomet: Nyserian Manor, Topaz Solutions, and the Tower of Estrod. The note was signed SV—which I’m assuming is Stauton Vhagn. Looks like he came back and finished the job of destroying the Wardstone after Commander Tirabade stopped him the first time.

After talking to Aravashnial, Anevia, and Horgus, we pooled our information together. Nyserian Manor was owned by a noble who sometimes worked with Horgus, and had taken out a loan from him once to buy Commander Tirabade’s sword from her. Anevia hadn’t been aware Irabeth had sold her sword—apparently she’d told her wife she’d lost it. Anevia was going to be having words with the commander of the Eagle Watch upon seeing her again.

The Tower of Estrod was of interest to Aravashnial, as it was a place of arcane studies. He also requested that we look into the Blackwing Library, where the Riftwardens would be located.

Anevia wanted to look for Irabeth, and therefore would like to look into going home as that was the only lead she had on where her wife may be.

As we discussed, we exited the subterranean tunnels and entered the sewers. And came upon three orphan kids and a middle aged pinkish tiefling woman with many piercings and a bow. The orphans immediately ran to Luna, clearly familiar with her. Another point in her favor for ‘good person, not a murderer/serial killer/whatever else the rumor mill decides to say’.

“So you must be ‘Una’,” the tiefling said, imitating the orphans mispronunciation of her name. Or maybe legitimately mistaking her name for that. “Nice to meet you, incase you haven’t noticed, everything’s gone to hell.”

The tiefling introduced herself as Hiskaria. She had arrived in town from Numeria recently to join the Raven Corps, actually, although she was apparently a Kenabres native initially. She was on lone by one ‘Kevoth-Kul’, because she was a criminal on parole, and joining the Raven Corps was her penance.

Ouch.

Aaaaaand as the only member of the Raven Corps around that means it fell on me to keep her around until we could either find her handler or someone with more authority. That and strength in numbers. We couldn’t exactly leave her behind, even if she is a confessed murderer.

Oh, yeah, I didn’t mention that her crime was murder did I? Yeah, our new buddy’s a convicted murderer. One fake murderer and one real one, and if I had to put money on it, everyone’s going to get who’s who wrong.

After some discussion, we decided to head for Horgus’ manor first. It would provide a safe place to leave the orphans, so that we wouldn’t be dragging them around in the open where every demon still lurking around might decide to swoop down on them.

We made it there with only minor incident, some rat demon ripping up a clothing store who dubbed himself ‘the rat king’. He was of personal offense to Melody given that he was in the process of destroying things of beauty. That and the owners of the shop were still there and might be able to salvage some things.

Given my studies I was able to identify the demon as an Abrikandilu, a wrecker demon. A destroyer of beauty, not just of artwork like the dresses, but of physical beauty, using their fangs to cause horrible scarring on those they attack. I also knew that Radiance was the only weapon we had that would pierce its defenses, although it also had a unique weakness to mirrors, due to all demons of this kind having an abhorrence of their own visage. That being the case, I suggested that Luna and Melody slip into the store to get one of the mirrors from the changing rooms within while I distracted and fought it with Radiance and Hiskaria took pot shots at it from a safe distance.

Radiance and I were both more than happy to finally be putting a demon to the blade.

Spilling demons’ blood, at least, we both agree on.

Things went off about how we’d hoped. The Abrikandilu was a bit faster than I’d anticipated and it rushed me rather than me pinning it by the building as I’d planned, but I stopped its fangs with my shield and avoided any new scars. Melody and Luna came out with a mirror, which drew the demon’s attention. Luna’s axe stuck into it. Then Radiance slew it.

Radiance roared in my head each time it drew blood against a demonic foe, in what I can only describe as ecstasy. They, at least, get joy from battle. I wish I could say the same, but the demons die all the same. I feel good about it, that we slayed the demon and helped those people. It’s something good. Not joy, that’s too strong of a word. I feel—satisfied, maybe?

Regardless, the shop owners thanked us. They had little to offer and we tried to assure them that we didn’t need anything, but they insisted on at least providing us with a nice outfit each in thanks. I don’t think I’ve ever owned anything so fine. An orphan and a soldier don’t exactly make for elegant living.

Afterwards we made it to Horgus’ manor with no further incidents. His holdings were untouched. Melody mused at first that perhaps someone was trying to frame him. However after some thought, Hiskaria and I disagreed with that assessment. Demons by nature would seek out where the most people are, the places where they could wreak the most havoc. And as we approached it was clear that his manor was devoid of life. It would seem that his men and his servants had fled their posts when the attack happened, and as a lucky result the manor had been untouched. I’ll give Horgus some credit here. While he was clearly visibly upset that the men he’d hired to protect his holdings had left their posts, he tried very hard to be reasonable that it was for the best that they’d left and protected the servants, and that it had indirectly kept the demons from destroying his things. He was however very upset that they’d taken all of the mints from the little bowl at the front entrance—as was Miss Melody, who bemoaned that it was quite rude of them. Ah what I would give to have her priorities.

Luna was shepherding the orphans—one of whom, Hamm, had taken a shine to Hiskaria’s magic and gotten it into his head that he was going to…what was it? Summon demons in his snot bubbles? Charming kid. Glad his entire world falling apart around him didn’t completely destroy his sense of innocence and wonder. Suppose he was lucky he ran into Hiskaria so the three of them didn’t get killed or worse. That’s a point in her favor.

After gathering up food from the kitchen and some entertainment for the kids from a room formerly used for the staff’s children while they were on the job, Horgus went down to the safest part of the manor: the vault. He opened the safe, which proved to have been completed untouched. Inside was more wealth than I’d probably ever seen in one place before, or ever will again. He paid Luna that looked like a rather hefty sum. Then he also paid myself, Melody, and Hiskaria 1000 gold for returning him here safely, although payment had never been promised. Hiskaria tried to argue that she’d only just joined with us, but he said that it was payment due to someone who couldn’t be here to take their cut.

Horgus…is a complicated man, I am beginning to realize. I cannot pin him down yet. Even more than most people, his words and actions do not align. And even some of his actions I think are more masks on top of that. Luna insists he’s a good man but won’t give details beyond that. She’s had a few private conversations with him, so I’m inclined to believe she knows something that’s given her that impression. And I trust Luna’s judgement in people.

As Horgus locked himself away, we heard the beginnings of him teaching the kids something or another about some…math thing. I don’t know, look, I’m not the one to look to about Abadar tax bracket stuff. Luna was just glad he was hopefully keeping Hamm from thinking about snot demons.

From there we went next door, to Nyserian Manor. Or what was left of it. Which was not much. At all. Or anything, really. See, the demons hadn’t been very discerning in their building demolition. They’d destroyed their own safehouse. Idiots. Served anyone who was inside right for betraying humanity to the demons.

Next up was Blackwing Library.

Oh Blackwing Library. This one made me angry.

If you know me you know that’s bad. Of course, you don’t know me, because you’re just a bundle of inanimate papers sandwiched in leather that I’m writing in to keep my tenuous grip on sanity together. Suffice to say: that’s bad. I don’t get angry easily. Unless you’re a Deskari worshipper or waving his symbol in my face like I’m a bull, but I mean, that’s just asking for trouble from any Iomedaen, really.

As we approached the library, it was immediately apparent that the entire thing had been decimated. Aravashnial was despondent. All of his friends and colleagues with the Riftwardens would have been there, and he feared the worst. While Melody and surprisingly Hiskaria tried to comfort him, Luna tried to sneak closer to look into the library. I stuck close to her, although not so close as to blow her cover.

What she saw was a turncoat Iomedaen with five librarians bound and gagged, and a sixth librarian being forced to pile books around them, to serve as both a book burning and a funeral pyre.

We didn’t have long to think as he pulled out the flint and tinder. Luna downed a potion of invisibility and vanished. We had to put our faith in her. And as usual, she didn’t let us down, as a moment later blood splattered across the floor and she reappeared behind the armored man with her hood up and a declaration that she was “the Butcher of Balestreet, Bitch”.

The cavalier’s two tiefling thugs tried to flank Luna, but I helped fight off one and Hiskaria finished them with a potshot from outside the door that got him right between the eyes, while Melody swooped in to take a stab at the other.

Luna clearly outmatched the man she was facing, and he was smart enough to realize it. He dropped his weapons, and offered to surrender. He swore if we let him go, he’d never do such a thing again.

The others seemed ready to let their guards down.

I didn’t buy it.

I could feel it. This was an evil man. The kind who would just turn around and do something like this again the second he had an opportunity, if we let him live.

Luna lowered her weapon to go deal with the tiefling thug. I told her what I just wrote, that if we let him go he would just harm others. She said it wasn’t going to be her choice to make.

If anyone was making this choice, it was going to be me, and me alone.

Melody tried to reason that maybe we could get some information out of him. That we could take him alive, and question him. After all, that’s what she was best at.

And then what, I asked her. What do we do with him after that? There weren’t any jails. The city was in chaos. Where do we put him when we’re done questioning him so that he doesn’t hurt anyone else?

He swore again that he’d just go away and be good. I called bullshit.

Melody said maybe he’d know more about the safehouses, or the other plans. What we’d potentially be walking into.

Fine. For the safety of the rest of the group, I’d take him alive.

So I punched the cocky bastard in the face and left him to Melody.

Hiskaria and Luna went about helping the librarians while Melody did her thing. She manacled the man and tied him up for a nice friendly chat. I stuck around. I didn’t trust this man. Kaleb, I learned his name was. Much good it did.

Melody woke him up. First thing he did was tried to play ignorant. Tried to pretend like he’d been possessed, like he hadn’t been in control of his own faculties before.

Bullshit. More lies.

Melody saw through his lies this time just as much as I had. She told him to start over and try again.

Next he tried to weave a sob story about how he’d been coerced into doing what he’d done. How he was a crusader who’s unit had been taken captive, and he’d been forced into committing evil acts out of desperation.

Again, nothing but lies. All he knew how to do was lie, habitually, spew whatever falsehood he thought would get him in our good graces.

When Melody and I called him out on it again, he snapped. In a final act of rebellious desperation, he finally told the truth. He’s nothing but scum of the earth. He was a crusader, and his unit had been wiped out, that was the one honest thing that had left this mouth. Afterwards he’d decided to hedge his bets and side with the demons, so he started committing every atrocity he could to try to win their favor. And he swore that when he died and went to the pits of the Abyss to be reborn he’d come back.

And flay us alive.

Bad choice of words.

I think the bull metaphor before was apt, because I certainly saw red for a moment. I don’t think anyone was in disagreement when I stabbed Radiance through his blackened heart at this point though.

We didn’t learn anything though. Except that he wasn’t a cultist. Just a psychopath who found an excuse to start killing people.

As we discussed our next course of action, the librarian we’d rescued approached us. He knew that Aravashnial was with the Riftwardens, and he knew what had happened to them. The Riftwardens after locking what they could in their vault had teleported to a different location, meaning Aravashnial’s friends were safely somewhere else. Unfortunately, a day later someone else arrived. Xanthir Vang. Another of Deskari’s generals. A worm that walks, a terrible creature that is both a swarm and one being bound to Deskari’s will. Xanthir cut through the floor, right above where the vault would be in the secret Riftwarden floors below, and lifted the entire vault from the floor. Then he ripped it apart like it was nothing. He seemed disappointed that the Riftwardens weren’t there—predictably, I suppose, since he had a personal grudge against them.

We found a single dead and dried up worm husk in a corner of the room. I don’t like this. It’s probably my imagination that my arm itches. Probably. Another of Deskari’s generals so close. That’s…terrifying.

With this information tucked away, we decided to head for Anevia’s home to look for clues of where Commander Tirabade may be. Mostly to make sure her wife was safe, and to inform her of everything we’d found out thus far, and a little tiny bit to ask her about that sword she’d apparently sold behind her back.

On the way, we were accosted by a skeletal demon from atop a building, who also called himself the rat king. He claimed the one we’d defeated before was a usurper, and then summoned a swarm of dire rats to attack us. We dealt with the dire rats handily enough. They took a few chomps at me, annoying little things. Between rats and lizards, do I just taste good or something?

Nope, just licked my hand to test it, I’m quite certain I do not taste good.

We arrived to a small unassuming house. Irabeth’s funds clearly went to things other than worldly possessions. Not that it was a bad house. I’m not trying to be judgmental of Irabeth Tirabade I’m just saying with her position most people would have much larger quarters, so she clearly puts hers to good use elsewhere. I’m not one to judge small living quarters, I live in the barracks. Which probably are in ruins now. Ah, well. Not like I had anything of sentimental value in there anyways. My fiddle, my sword, and my shield were on my person, those were the only things I might have cried over losing. And then my sword got forcefully replaced by a talkative holy blade anyways.

I wish I could say Radiance is growing on me like Horgus. Unfortunately, we got off an extremely wrong foot and they haven’t exactly tried to mend any bridges. Luna says I should be more assertive with them, since I’m the only one who can wield them, they need me to do their holy mission they want. And Radiance even agreed with her, because of course they did.

Figures. A guy tries to be nice to the holy sword who he’ll have to be working with for the foreseeable future and apparently even trying to just not make waves with the being you’ll have to work with talking in your head is the wrong move.

Fine…assertive. What do they want me to do, put Radiance in time out in their little box when they get uppity? That is a funny image though.

I’ve completely lost my train of thought.

Right, reread a few paragraphs, Anevia’s house. So, Luna and Melody took a peek inside to make sure nothing was lurking around inside.

Predictably, something was lurking around inside.

He was invisible, but when Melody began using detect evil he ‘pinged’, so she had an idea of where the invisible presence was. The invisible presence summoned a fire beetle outside to attack Anevia, but Hiskaria turned and shot it dead before it got a chance.

Melody and Luna had a good idea where the invisible foe was, and began to force him back into a corner, although their swings of axe and glaive kept hitting nothing but air.

I came in, and I swear to you Iomedae guided Radiance’s blade. Not only did I strike true, from the amount of red that splattered across the ground, I’m certain I hit something vital. That, and I made him very angry. The next thing I saw was an enraged orc, whose invisibility faded away as a blast of fire was released from his hand point blank in my face. Too familiar. Far too familiar. And then darkness.

And then I was awake again, Melody tipping one of my potions into my mouth. Luna had bloodied the orc, but he’d refused to go down in his blind frenzy. Then Hiskaria had stepped in and finished the job.

I proceeded to heal myself a little more thoroughly while the ladies talked to Anevia about what just happened.

Huh, now that Aravashnial and Horgus are gone I am the only guy in the little group of ours, aren’t I?

The prettiest guy in our group by default as well, not that that’s saying much.

Anevia recognized the orc, he was someone who Irabeth had stopped from some previous scheme years back, who she’d left out in the world alive. Apparently, he came back for revenge. He won’t be getting a third chance.

With that settled and no more assassins lurking about, Anevia went to her and Irabeth’s bedroom and opened a secret compartment. Inside she read a note and took out some supplies. She told us that Commander Tirabade and the other remaining Crusaders were hiding out at the Defender’s Heart tavern, and the passcode to get in was “Silverstrong”.

We decided to go straight there, as it was closer than any of the safehouses, and allies were still more useful than victories at the moment.

I was especially feeling that way when that damn skeleton ‘rat king’ showed up again, and threw a flock of vultures at us. Most of which decided to descend upon me. I know vultures are a bad omen but come on, that’s too on the nose even for me. What’s worse? Do you know what’s worse? What’s even worse than vultures? Fiend vultures. These things could smite. I had, no joke, five buzzards smiting me like a bunch of feathery antipaladins.

Just my cursed luck again. Why does Desna hate me?

So, yeah. I was hurting. And really wanting some rest. While everyone else was ready and raring to go for two more safehouses after we finished meeting with the Commander. I finished healing myself again and I was almost tapped out of spells, and completely out of potions. My fervor was wearing thin as well. Luna was all well and good, she didn’t use spells. Hiskaria was fine, she mostly only used her cantrips to empower her bow to fire twice—a neat trick that didn’t really cost her anything. Melody had used one judgement and some spells but she was just fine and equally ready to go.

Ever the weak link.

Eh, no point thinking like that, right? Plenty more happened after that. We arrived to Defender’s Heart and gave them the passcode. They came out to meet us, initially excited to see Anevia.

Then they saw Luna, still with her hood up in her Butcher guise from our fight earlier.

Oops.

We tried to explain that this wasn’t what it looked like. That she wasn’t actually a murderer. That the rumors and stories and reports were wrong. Anevia tried to back us up. Luna took off her hood, and pointed out that she drank one of the two of them under the table at this very tavern just a few days prior, and no one got hurt. Despite our best efforts, tensions were raising. The guards were going for their weapons, and we were surrounded. The paladins were throwing accusations, and no one was listening to our words, they were only hearing what they believed to be true.

Then a strong hand came down on both of the guards’ shoulders. A voice spoke, and told them that maybe sometime they should try actually using the gift Iomedae grants them to detect evil.

Irabeth Tirabade stood behind the two guards, in the flesh, as…everything as I ever would have imagined. Tall, proud, honorable, noble.

The guards scrambled to cast the detect spells, and predictably found that Luna was not evil. They were puzzled but relaxed somewhat. Then jumped and went for their weapons again when they looked in Hiskaria’s direction.

The Commander told them that it was alright, and held up some papers, saying all the paperwork was in order for Hiskaria.

It looked like she was officially Raven Corps now.

Commander Tirabade picked up Anevia and carried her inside, and asked the four of us to follow. She got to quarters where she could lay Anevia down, then turned to me.

And the conversation went something like this.

“Acting Captain of the Raven Corps,” she said.

I was flabbergasted for a moment then realized she had to be talking to me because there was literally no one else she could be talking to. “Me?”

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

FE3H: Felix x Reader {Territorial}

Premise: This war won’t take another thing from Felix, at least not on his own soil. 

Part: (2/2) {Previous} 

Warning: Angst, Loss, a lil fluff in this one

A week ago, all Felix knew was anger. It was not a village he spotted but the remnants of what remained of the army’s forces. They had driven off the Empire from assaulting further into Fargeus territory, but the battle overall was a massive loss. The list of casualties was long, and if they hadn’t remained to scout the are then perhaps two generals would be on it as well. He had failed.

The moment he arrived at the encampment (Y/N) fell into a deep slumber. In the care of whatever healers that had survived, she managed to survive the trip back to the monastery without issue. He was grateful, but the words caught in his throat. He watched as a collective sigh of relief overtook the camp when word of her stabilizing spread. To be respected by one’s subordinates was expected, but she had earned their companionship. He felt a surge of pride that soon turned to self-hatred. A moment later and these troops would have lost their leader.

He had no need to deliver news to the Professor or the Boar. They met him at the gates and their expressions said they knew it all. Instead of standing around for a useless pep talk, he pushed through to the training hall. No one followed or tried to stop him. At some point Ashe came to inform him of (Y/N)’s care status. Still asleep, and now in Manuela’s clinic. Pitiful.

“Felix, will you not join us for dinner?” after two days the professor came. Despite his own healing injuries, he still trained. For hours, until he’d go sit outside the clinic overnight. The guards on duty weren’t enough in his opinion and no one dared to argue.

“No”

He swiped at the training dummy, adding another to a collection of many gashes.

“I understand that you’re worried about (Y/N), but you can’t neglect yourself. She wouldn’t want this,” They said, and Felix felt the hatred from the week before resurface. With a strangled grunt he threw the sword down at the ground. They had no right to put words in her mouth, especially ones he knew were true. True, and that was the issue.

“Don’t act like you understand when you don’t! You will never understand until-” He caught himself. Byleth remained quiet in wait for his answer, but he could only clutch his head in frustration. This wasn’t a talk to have with his teacher.

“Never mind,” he sighed, “I’m out of here, don’t follow me,” he stormed past before they could say more. Instead of heading to the mess hall, Felix walked straight to Manuela’s clinic. He ignored any who tried to speak with him, and honestly didn’t have it in him to feel even remotely guilty.

Just as he was about to enter the clinic his steps halted; one hand outstretched towards the handle. Despite the battle being over for over a week not once had he visited her. He tried. Each night Manuela would leave the door open for him, and each night his hand would hover near the doorknob. Something about seeing her so lifeless, so fragile; it stopped him every time.

He almost turns to sit on the floor again, but the door opened without him needing to do so. For a second Manuela gasps at his unkept appearance, before grinning and yanking him inside.

“Felix dear! I was just on my way to find you. (Y/N), he’s right here!” She sang out while pushing him towards a cot hidden behind a screen-divider. There was a faint shadow on it illuminated by candlelight. She was awake, and he didn’t know how to feel.  

“You two lovebirds take a moment to talk. I will be in professor Hannamen’s office if you need anything,” Manuela said, leaving and shutting the door behind her. He needed to leave before something bad happened. He wasn’t ready to face this yet. Not only mentally, but physically. He hadn’t shaved since the battle and was sweaty from training. She was the last person he would want to look at him.

“Felix? Why are you so far away?” his heart thumped in his chest. Any tension he was feeling before faded away at her voice. The last time they spoke it was laced with death. It haunted his dreams to where he almost forgot how beautiful the sound was. Escape was impossible, something he realized as the shadow moved. Before she could get up, he crossed the screen barrier.

“I was just man-handled by Manuela. Even I need time to recuperate sometimes,” he grumbled and stood at the edge of her bed. At the sound of her laugh his gaze drew to her face. Dark circles painted her eyes despite being asleep for so long, and she had a bedhead worse for wear. It reminded him of when they would study together for tests as teens. He’d complain about the hassle, she’d force him to stay, and somehow, they both would end up not learning anything. Simply aggravating the librarian and losing sleep over nothing.

“Sorry,” her laugh ended. He didn’t know what else to say. What else could he say in a situation like this? His face soured, something she clearly took note of. He averted his attention to the low-burned candle.

“Well? How do you feel?” he asked, albeit in a less sincere tone than he felt.

“Alright. A bit stiff and sore, but nothing too serious,” she stretched while speaking. Felix was not stupid. A wound like hers would not go without side effects. Despite the lie he tried to remain neutral.

“Good,” and so a pregnant silence overtook them. He closed his eyes, resting for what felt like the first time in weeks.

“When I woke up, Manuela said a week had passed. Is that true?” She asked, and he could sense her nerves. The familiar bubbling in his gut began to appear, and he clenched his fists.

“Yeah,”

“…my soldiers?”

“Alive, they were relived to see you safe. You have a good platoon,” He did not lie. His men were not his friends, and he liked it that way. Comradery was not his strong suit, but to know she had people at her side put him at ease. He peered an eye open in time to see her slouch against the bedframe. No doubt they were first on her mind after awaking.

“I know. They’re good people,” She smiled. A faint one, yet still enough to almost make him mimic it. He was close until his eye caught the bandages around her neck. Most were hidden under thin sheets, but he knew. He knew what was there and did not know what to do. They were a reminder, and the scars underneath a forever momento.  She caught his glare, and instinctively reached to cradle them. The bubbling grew to a boil.

“Could you say something? Anything?” she burst out in the silence, “Yell at me, scream at me, tell me I’m stupid or that you hate me? I don’t regret what I did Felix, but you need to talk to me,” her words were desperate and broke his stare from the bandage. He watched her form tuck in as she took a deep breath, yet he still could not find the right words. She knew how he felt about other people protecting him. That was his kill, his fight, and his wound. She knew, yet she went and did something so-so her.

“You want me to talk to you?!” he seethed and pushed off the wall, “Do you-“She shrunk back into the bedframe but he couldn’t stop. Not on his own.

“Do you have any idea what you put me through?! That was not your place! You are not allowed to die!”

His words caused her to pause. She unfolded, and he knew that look after so many arguments together. Her eyes squinted at him as she raised to sit straight on her knees. Fire that made her the fighter he fell for, and one the soldiers obeyed.

“And how is that fair?! I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: we are a team

Felix! If I can’t die, then you can’t either! Do you honestly think I could have lived with myself if you disappeared?!” she yelled. Their voices echoed on the clinic’s walls and bounced around the room. Rebuttal after rebuttal they continued to argue until the candlelight had dimmed to nearly visible. He watched as tears pricked her eyes and wondered how his own face looked. At some point she had moved closer to him, to where he could almost smell the medicinal herbs used in the various treatments she’d undergone. Over and over she insisted on his importance. Of how great a warrior he is, how his friends needed him, how the country needed him; she didn’t understand.  What about him? What about what he wanted? He did what he chose, not what was expected. He’d sooner die for himself, then let her die because of other people.

He would not let his father say those words again. Not for himself, and surly not for her.

“You would have gotten over it. Everyone does, death is natural,” his voice calmed as she grew even nearer to the bed’s end. The bubbling simmered, and he reached out towards a strand of her hair. Matted, a bit worn, but soft.

“…Felix?” his hand soon moved to her cheek. One he caressed many times over in private. Her lips drew taught, yet she still leaned into his touch.

“If I die, I will do it fighting for what I believe in (Y/N). Not as a mindless solider,” he said, ending the argument. Normally he would leave her to think on her own, just as he’s done with everyone else. He doesn’t like explaining himself and has always thought people were too self-absorbed to understand his way of life. His father for one barely tried beyond pleasantries. Yet, he wanted her to. The way her hand came to rest over his own showed that she did too.

“I did what I wanted. I fight because I love you, I love our friends, and I love our home …not for anything else. You know that” she whispered. Her arms came to wrap around his neck, and he pulled her in. He did know and it made his gut wrench. It twisted in fear for losing her like he lost his brother and for failing himself; yet, at the same time hearing her words made him happy. Her wounds may have been because of him, but they were partially for the same reason he fought. Maybe she didn’t enjoy the excitement of battle like he did, but her cause was her own, not of a higher power.

“I love you, and I would do it all over again”

“Stupid…I love you too”

[oftenderweapons]

The Conversations - part 1/3

Pairing: Namjoon x OC; Yoongi x OC; Jungkook x OC Wordcount: 2.6k words Genre: slice of life Rating: suggested 18+ (Discussion of NSFW topics)

Hi lovelies! Here comes that new format I mentioned earlier this week. I imagined how the guys would discuss their girlfriends, having “The Chat” about kinks and habits, just talking, asking for advice and giving each other tips. 

The first conversation is between Yoongi, Namjoon and Jungkook, talking about their girlfriends, respectively Kitten, Vixen and Candy. 

There’s a little bit of everything (angst, fluff, smut), also, there’s a reference to Yoongi’s scenario in Magic Touch, I’ll just move on to disclaimers and trigger warnings. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of smut, oral (m/f giving/receiving), Jeongguk is whipped AND horny, various levels of filth (quickies, phonesex, boobjobs,  bondage, waxplay, cumplay, spankings, daddy kink -- I AM SO FUCKING SORRY, THAT WAS SO SELFISH OF ME -- pornography, sex toys, blindfolds, breathplay and choking, sensation play, impact play, exhibitionism/voyerism), communication issues, mentions of premature ejaculation, past traumas and general traumatic experiences, Yoongi and tongue technology (do I even need to say this?) Namjoon is, quoting Yoongi, “a beast”. Final fondness.

Here you can find my masterlist!

———————————

Jungkook came out of his room with his head hanging low, heading straight for the terrace outside the kitchen. There Namjoon and Yoongi were drinking their morning coffee. It was roughly six am, a smoky dawn calling London awake. The summery hotness and the usual humidity announced another day of sweating and emptying water bottles. 

Jeongguk’s hyungs, talking quietly, were in perfectly symmetrical positions, elbows propped on the railing on the edge of the terrace, holding the cups in their hands, looking at the mild sunshine foreshadowing an orange dawn.

“‘Morning.” They both turned. 

“Morning Jeonggukie,” said Yoongi, slightly more reactive.

“Morning JK,” greeted Namjoon. “You headed to the gym?” He asked, not noticing the fact that Jeongguk was still in his pjs. 

“I just called Candy.” He settled himself beside Joon. 

“She all right?” Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Sort of. We fought a couple weeks before I left.” He dragged his hands roughly in his hair. “I just miss her a lot.”

“You’ve been dating for two months or something, right?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah. We were quite new.” He replied.

“What do you miss of her?” Joon asked, sipping some coffee afterwards.

“Hyung, like. It’s a lot to unpack. We, you know...”

Namjoon gave him a side glance, his lips turning into a smirk. “You mean you’ve slept together.”

Yoongi struggled not to smile. 

“A couple times.” Jeongguk admitted. He toyed with his fingers. “And then a lot.”

Yoongi couldn’t hold back a snort. “It’s okay.” He put down his cup on the wide edge of the balcony. “At the beginning you can’t ever let go.” He remembered the first weeks after he and his girlfriend had started being more physical. “The first times with Kitten… God.” He brushed his palm down his face. “I was a mess.”

“A good mess or a bed mess?” Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I don’t even know.” He laughed. “It was never enough.” He thought about the last time they facetimed. “Any spare moment was with her. Damn, I was down for anything. Quickies at lunch, calling her when I was done with practice to have phonesex, seeing her at three am just to get off the high.”

“Vixen’s a sucker for late night sex.” Joon offered to fill in the silence. “But she’s always game. Her sex drive is seriously impressive.” 

“And you love it, don’t you, old sport?” Yoongi teased.

“I love many, many things of her.” Namjoon said before laughing.

The three stayed silent for a while. 

“I miss sucking her tits.” Jeongguk murmured out of the blue. 

Namjoon and Yoongi also stared into the void, lost in their own thoughts. After a few seconds Namjoon reconnected and looked at the youngest. “What the fuck, man?”

Yoongi licked his lips, then opened his mouth a couple times just to close it again, trying to find words. 

“I mean, they’re so soft. And the shape is...” Jeongguk pressed his fingertips to his eyelids. 

Yoongi emitted a strange sound.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Namjoon asked. 

“Sorta. It’s just. Yeah, tits are great.” He said, half unconsciously, blinking in silence. “I mean, Kitten has a nice pair.”

“Am I the only ass man in this conversation?” Namjoon turned to look at both men, finding no sympathy. 

“Vixen does have an incredible bum, sorry hyung if I looked.” Koo admitted. 

“It’s okay, I also looked at Candy’s chest, but I swear it was not intentional.” Namjoon confessed. 

“Do you think we’ll have some free time after the tour?” Yoongi murmured.

“Are you planning on fucking Kitten for, like, a week straight?”

“Sorta.”

“I just wanna die between Vixen’s thighs.” Namjoon whispered, lost in his train of thought.

“Send her to Hongkong?” Yoongi asked ironically.

“I mean, I hope we’re all in the oral team. Hyung, you for sure.”

“Loud and proud, boy.” Yoongi quipped back. 

“JK?” Namjoon asked. 

“Yeah.” He replied, still lost in his own imagination. “Hyung, have you ever tied Vixen up?”

“No. Usually we get too caught up.” Namjoon took another sip of his coffee, but unfortunately his cup was empty. “Do you want some?” Joon asked Jeongguk, pointing at his cup. 

“No, but could you get me some OJ, please?”

“Got you.” He went back to the kitchen. 

“Are you thinking of playing with Candy?” Yoongi asked carefully.

“Don’t know. It would be new. As Namjoon hyung said, we also get too caught up, so I think I’ll need to plan it out, if we ever decide to.”

“Talk about it with her.” Yoongi recommended. “You should ask her what she likes. And tell her about what you like.”

Namjoon was back. “We doing the whole kink talk?”

“Just making sure that the kid knows about communication.”

“Right.” Namjoon nodded, handing Jeongguk his glass of juice. 

“Did you and Vixen have the talk?” Yoongi asked, honestly curious. Namjoon’s girlfriend was a bit of a wildcard, looking classy and educated, but also endearingly nerdy, fond of nature and hopelessly in love with her boyfriend. Each time he saw how Namjoon melted everytime she cuddled and reassured him, Yoongi really hoped that the boy would understand how precious she is, how rare it is to be in love like that.

“We did. She was like ‘oh, yeah, by the way, would you mind spanking me every now and then?’”

Yoongi giggled. “I can only imagine your reply.”

“I think it was something like ‘that’s okay but would you put up with my daddy kink?’”

Yoongi positively squealed at that. Jeongguk was similarly amazed. 

“But with her it’s like-- It’s so strange to explain. I guess the best way to say it is that half of the sex is mental.” He should have avoided the second cup of coffee. But it was already there. “It’s the talking. Putting her in the right mindset, making her feel loved on the brain.”

“Good thing you're smart, hyung.” Jeongguk said. “I would have zero chances.”

“It’s not being smart.” Namjoon replied, “It’s more of a-- connection.”

“I think that you having this… dominant, but also nourishing role really puts her into a mindset of full trust.” Yoongi commented. 

“I think so.” Namjoon concluded. “And then the sex is mindblowing. Like, I get why everyone is so obsessed with it. Our limits are very similar, and in that we don’t feel like we’re limiting or pressing each other into things.”

“That’s good. But exploring can be fun.” Yoongi argued. “Kitten’s sensitive chest made me get into things I never thought I would explore.” 

Namjoon again raised an eyebrow. 

“Come on, hyung give me some ideas.” Jeongguk teased. 

“You tits freak.” Yoongi joked playfully. “Hickeys, but that’s obvious. And a lot of mouth activity in general. Oh, boobjobs.”

“God, does that work?” Namjoon was skeptical.

“Depends. Lots of lube, and the right angle. Kitten puts her mouth on the head, that’s the trick.”

“That sounds incredible.” Jeongguk commented, saving the idea in a corner of his mind.

“Trust me, it is. We’re also dealing with a bit of a choking kink, but we’re approaching it carefully, Kitten tends to panic when she feels like she’s suffocating. And waxplay.”

“That’s a nice one.” Namjoon commented. 

“Still getting into it. But she’s liking it a lot. We got the candle a couple weeks before tour. Used it twice. I can’t help but think about it.” He smiled, thinking about how Kitten had enjoyed experimenting that night, how loud she had been when she’d come apart, how she had curled up in a ball at his side, happy and sated, his own body spooning her. He missed his woman, missed the calm she carried around with her, missed her little voice, but also her whispering sweet nothings to him, petting his hair while he was falling asleep. In general, sleeping was way harder without her, his body waking up exhausted, his mind frail because he did sleep but he did not rest. He felt constantly restless.

“I really wanna try that too. But what about toys? Like I was thinking nipple clamps?” Jeongguk asked, his ears blushing a little. 

“That kind of stuff must be tried together. The first few times Vixen and I experimented, we usually shopped together, so that we could understand what kind of sensation she could handle, what she would like, and what wasn’t her thing.”

“Like what?” 

“Well, for example, if Candy is very sensitive, you should avoid clamps and go for tweezers, where you can pick the amount of pressure you want to put there. And that’s in term of pinching. Considering what you said about sucking, probably she could enjoy pumps. These days there’s pretty much anything, if you’re willing to look for it.”

“Toys, uh?” Yoongi questioned.

Namjoon lifted his shoulders. “You recommended experimenting. I like watching her. I’m really visual, so I like watching stuff.”

“Like movies?” Jeongguk asked. “Like watching them together? Adult movies?”

“Yeah, sometimes that too. Vixen’s very visual too. And we like finding inspiration every now and then.”

“By the way thanks for the advice, Kitten loved it.” Yoongi smiled like the cat that got the cream.

“You’re welcome.” Namjoon winked at him. 

“I think I could try that, with Candy. It’s just that I get so shy about it. That’s why we fought.”

“You fought because you’re shy?” Yoongi asked.

“It actually started because I couldn’t look at her while she, uhm- While I was in her mouth?” Jeongguk shrinked into his shoulders. “Then it got bad because she said I never really look at her and she feels like I don’t like her, like I wished I were doing that with someone else. Which is absolute bullshit.” He looked upset. 

Namjoon placed a hand between Koo’s shoulder blades. “You’ll work that out. If you really love her then the two of you will find a way around it.”

“Blindfolds?” Yoongi suggested.

“How?” Namjoon questioned, interested. 

“I don’t know, maybe he’ll find confidence if he’s not feeling watched.”

“Hyung, I think that’s not it.” Jeongguk claimed, almost frustrated. “She wants to be watched by me.”

“Then why don’t you watch?”

“I’m afraid I’ll like it too much,” he said, brows knitted together. “That I’ll just last too little. I’m afraid she’ll judge me for what I like, for how I react.” 

“The first time Vixen put her mouth on me I lasted literally two minutes.”

“Anytime Kitten puts her mouth on me I last literally two minutes.”

Both men laughed and high-fived each other.

Jeongguk smiled at the exchange. Seeing them like this made him really feel like anything could be fixed. They had found the right balance with their girlfriends, being in love and happy. He could have that too. Talking with Candy couldn’t be that bad if that's how he would feel afterwards. And probably Candy really wanted to have that conversation too, since she often asked him if he liked what she was doing, if he could show her how to do things right. He might get off in two minutes but if it were for him, he would probably feel proud if Candy couldn’t last two minutes below him. Candy would probably feel happy that he enjoyed it that much.

“Listen, no matter what they say, having too much stamina is not always that good. Vixen’s got a dollmouth. It’s so tiny it’s almost ridiculous. Lovely. Sometimes I feel like crying about it." His expression was getting dreamy." "But I’m going off at a tangent here. What I mean is that it’s physically tiring for her. Actually for most people. Jaw hurts, throat burns, gag reflex sucks, tongue cramps, anything.”

Yoongi nodded. 

“And I’m sure your stamina is impressive, which means, maybe you’ll last two minutes in her mouth but hey, there’s second round.” He opened his arms in front of him, almost spilling the coffee.

“And third.” Said Yoongi. “If need be. Kitten needs minimum two.”

Namjoon groaned. “Vixen’s like… either a very good, powerful one, or a whole session. That’s when the toys come into help. With her it’s not a matter of how many but of how often. It goes from three or four times a week to everyday.”

“Good thing you’re a beast.” Yoongi commented.

“I do my best.” Namjoon replied honestly. “And again, it’s not like only fucking. Sometimes foreplay is just enough, you know.”

Yoongi nodded. “I could eat Kitten out just for the sake of it. Sometimes I don’t even need to fuck her, the pleasure is all in watching her.”

"I like watching Candy, when she cums. It's that whole look." He circled his open hand in front of his face. "And she said she likes watching me too. That's why she wanted me to… look at her."

"She probably feels empowered by it. Kitten likes feeling powerful when she gets me going. Same reason why I love eye contact when I eat her." Yoongi's voice was absolutely neutral, as if it were a mere clinical statement. 

Jeongguk’s voice was tiny. “I’ve never eaten Candy out.” But God, if he wanted to...

Namjoon turned, alarmed but trying to keep it cool, sensing his discomfort.

“It’s always felt like she didn’t want it. Anytime I tried going there with my mouth, she’d drag me up towards her face. I seriously don’t get it.”

“You must talk it out, Ggugie.” Yoongi confirmed. “People have traumas, bad experiences, shitty exes -- and it might be her case. Kitten had never been eaten out before me. Said her ex didn’t like the taste. It took us a while, a blindfold and a lot of safewording to get through it.”

“Thanks, hyung.” Jeongguk replied.

“It’s okay, man.” By now the sun was rising. In a couple minutes the whole house would be awake, Jimin’s feet would pad softly on the plush carpet, his eyes still half closed from sleep. Jin would start moving kitchenware around, making a lot of noise to cook breakfast. Hobi would appear shirtless to grab his food and eat it on the sofa, chatting with his family or friends on the phone. Lastly Taehyung’s yawn would finally signal the beginning of their day.

“It’s beautiful.” Namjoon murmured, watching the sun rise. 

“I really hope Candy comes back to me.” He thought about her tender smile, the one she had on her face after their first time. He thought about how she talks so soft in the morning, how she always texts him before going to bed. The mug in the kitchen that he had bought for her, the spare toothbrush in his bathroom at home. The smell of her shampoo, just perfectly sweet. Her legs tangled in his sheet. Her underwear smelling like his fabric softener. The way her mouth moves when she says his name. He missed it all.

“She’ll come back.” Namjoon enveloped an arm around his friend. “She loves you.”

“I hope I find someone that loves me like Vixen loves you.” He confessed.

“She’s special.” Joon’s eyes watered a little.

“Indeed she is,” Yoongi confirmed.

“Just like Kitten to you, hyung.” Joon looked at Yoongi. He looked truly emotional.

“Kitten’s a masterpiece.” He sniffled and put his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, lightly leaning in. 

“A few days and we’ll be back to the girls. And it will be okay again.” Namjoon encouraged them, his dimpled smile hopeful at the rise of dawn.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Beginnings (7/9)

Mammon x ace gn!MC x ace!Leviathan

NOTE - read the content warnings listed in Part 1

[ AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 ]

It had been several weeks now since you had made up with Mammon and worked out the details of your relationship with him and Levi. And much to your surprise, things were going rather smoothly. Better than you had imagined, that’s for sure. The bickering, for one, had decreased considerably, which you could only attribute to the fact that Levi was no longer constantly simmering with jealousy and that Mammon no longer felt threatened by him.

Levi in particular had surprised you one day by suggesting the two of you take a bath together. The first couple of times you both were wrapped in towels. But it didn’t take him long to get comfortable enough that he didn’t feel that was necessary either. And while he still got embarrassed and blushy every time he asked if you wanted to sit with him in the bath, he was also quicker to relax with each attempt.

These private moments together were usually quiet ones, just enjoying the warmth of the water, and the skin to skin contact. But it wasn’t unusual either for them to be full of fun and laughter, like that time Levi had special ordered Ruri-chan themed bubble bath and water squirters shaped like magical girl wands.

Mammon though was starting to feel a little insecure. Partly due to the fact that he frequently got to watch how you’d light up when Levi would enter the room, completely unaware of how you also did the same whenever you saw him from a distance. And partly due to the fact that he hadn’t been able to spend a lot of quality time with you this week.

After arguing back and forth with himself, he finally decided he was going to talk to you about it. He absolutely did not want a repeat of what happened last time. You had reassured him several times that all he had to do was talk with you if something was bothering him, and today was the day he was going to take you up on that offer.

One evening, after a long day at RAD, Mammon had managed to drag you to bed early for some good quality snuggles. Staying up late with him wasn’t uncommon, but today he was pretty exhausted, and he had something to talk to you about.

With your head resting on his chest, Mammon started playing with your hair while he worked up the courage to talk. You could feel the way he would periodically tense, then breathe deeply before relaxing again, and knew there was something on his mind. You weren’t going to point it out though, not wanting to discourage Mammon from opening up, so you continued to play with his other hand as you cuddled against him.

“So...erm...I wanted ta...talk to ya…” he finally mumbled out. You had to bite back a laugh at the weird way his voice cracked in his nervousness, thankful that he couldn’t see your face right now, probably just as thankful as he was that you couldn’t see his.

“Sure, what’s up babe?”

“It’s just well...ya know…you always look so happy with Levi around,” he said, crossing and uncrossing his legs as he fidgeted, trying to find some outlet for his anxiety.

“And I’m...I’m just sayin’ that ya better look like that when you’re with me is all,” Mammon grimaced. That had come out a bit more aggressive than he had meant it to. He wasn’t trying to boss you around! He was supposed to be telling you how he felt!

“Of course I do, Mammon. I’m always happy to see you,” you replied, adjusting your position to smile up at him. He was blushing heavily now, and you wiggled upwards to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. He averted his gaze when you pulled back, but tightened his hold around your waist to prevent you from going too far, which only made you smile more.

“W-well so long as you understand.”

You laughed softly at his response, nuzzling against his neck in return, giving him yet another sweet kiss, this time on the skin there.

“We haven’t had a lot of time alone together this week, have we?” you asked.

“...nah, we haven’t…” Mammon relaxed, resting his cheek against your head, grateful that you were now leading this conversation and not leaving him to flounder about.

“Maybe we can do something this weekend? I’m with Levi tomorrow, but the day after we could do whatever you want?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, stay in, go out. Whatever you want.”

“I guess I can make time for ya,” he teased, eliciting another laugh from you.

“I’m honored the Great Mammon would even consider spending time with a simple human,” you joked in return.

“Now ya just bein’ a brat.”

You laughed again, snuggling closer to Mammon, enjoying the feeling of warmth and safety at being wrapped up in his arms.

“Umm, did I say somethin’?” Mammon asked, tensing up beside you when he realized how quiet you had suddenly gotten.

“Oh! Sorry. Not really. It’s just…I remembered that there was something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Uhh…”

“It’s nothing bad! I swear. At least I don’t think it is.

You know how I seem to have a pretty low libido? Sex drive,” you clarified, just as Mammon was about to ask, “Well, I think that might not really be the case. I think I’m asexual, actually.”

“A what now?”

“I’m not really good at explaining it, I’m still learning about it myself, but it basically means, for me at least, that I’m not all that interested in sex? I mean, I still like it sometimes, don’t get me wrong. I have fun with you. But like, I could just as easily go without and spend time with you like this,” you explained, giving Mammon a firm squeeze around the waist and pressing your forehead against his neck.

Mammon felt something in his chest constrict. He loved having sex with you, he’d do it every day if he could. He liked the physical contact, and he craved that emotional intimacy he felt in the afterglow. The thought that you didn’t feel the same way was a huge blow to his self confidence. Had he been pressuring you too much? Did you not want to do it at all? Had he hurt you?

“...does Levi know?” he finally asked.

“Yeah, he was the one that helped me figure it out actually.”

“Why didn’t ya come to me? Doncha trust me?” Mammon asked, hurt.

“No, Mammon,” you sat up so that you could turn to face him, “That’s not what happened at all.”

“What did he do for ya, that I couldn’t?”

“That’s...that’s something you’ll have to ask Levi,” you replied.

“...you’re keepin’ secrets now too…?” he could feel his eyes starting to burn as he fought off his tears. He had been so angry just a moment ago, but now he just felt sad. Sad that you didn’t feel safe enough with him to discuss something so personal. Sad that you would rather talk to Levi.

“Woah! Mammon! Listen to me. Please,” but when he refused to look at you, you climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs, and placing your hands on his cheeks so you could turn his face to look at you. He resisted at first, but finally made eye contact, his eyes glossy with tears.

“I would NEVER keep secrets from you. Never,” you said, keeping your tone firm and even, emphasizing each word. “But this? This is not MY secret. Ok? It’s Levi’s. So you need to talk to him.”

You continued to scan his face, looking for any indication that he was understanding what you were saying, as you began to gently caress his cheeks with your thumbs. Finally, Mammon lifted his own hands, holding yours in place as he nodded slowly in agreement.

“I promise, Mammon. I won’t keep secrets from you, ok? I’ll always come to you.”

You leaned forward, closing your eyes and resting your forehead against his, “I love you,” you whispered.

Mammon released your hands, only to wrap his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you to him. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before returning the gesture, hugging him back as he buried his face in your neck. Holding him close, you ran your fingers through the hair at his nape, making sure to tell him how much you loved him, over and over again.

[albapuella]

Thinking and Feeling Altogether Too Much

AO3 Link

Fandom: Hiveswap, Homestuck Characters: Xefros Tritoh, Joey Claire Tags: Act 2 spoilers, introspection, some pale stuff if you squint Summary: Xefros has a lot to think about. Set near the end of Act 2. Spoilers. Note: I didn’t have the first paragraph posted here, so apologies for that!

Xefros doesn’t know how long he and Joey have been sitting against the outside wall of the Engine car. The metal is cold beneath them, the air rushing by is cool, and he’s realizing hours too late that he probably should have grabbed a sweatshirt for himself, too. It’s difficult to feel too cold, though, with Joey sitting beside him. In a literal way, she’s much warmer than he is, radiating heat. He noticed before, when they were riding Dammek’s Lusus, but he had other things to be worried about then. Though he has other things to think about now as well, he takes some comfort beyond the physical having her there by his side. The warmth reminds him she’s still here, still alive. This alien from a world that shares similarities with his, but not many. This alien who has become very important to him in very little time. And, as incredible as it still seems, he’s apparently very important to her, too. She seems so convinced of his value, fought so hard to keep him alive, and cared so much when he was hurt, that it’s hard not to believe her a little even when she says things Xefros knows are wrong.

He’s not cool. He’s not smart. He’s not brave. He’s not special. He’s not anything.

He is a killer, though. He’s killed someone tonight, and he still doesn’t know how he feels. It shouldn’t be that big a deal. He murdered a troll--so what? Trolls are killed all the time in all sorts of gruesome ways: by drones, by the various and highly dangerous plants and animals of Alternia, by the sun and rain, by zombies, by other trolls for all sorts of reasons ranging from self-defense to needing paint. Death is a fact of life. Murder is a fact of life. It’s not a big deal.

In fact, it’s kind of funny to be as old as he is, and this is the first time he’s killed someone. Kind of funny. The kind of funny that makes him feel like he could vomit if he’d actually eaten anything in the last how ever many hours it’s been at this point. But maybe this is normal to feel. After all, the first one is the hardest. That’s what Dammek said. This is his first one, so he’s having a hard time. That’s all.

Xefros remembers the look on Joey’s grub-like face. The terror and shock making way for horror and fear. While she was grateful in the end that he saved her life, he’s never going to be able to forget that, for just a moment, she was afraid of him because… because he killed another troll.

But he also feels… good about himself for protecting Joey? Defending someone weaker than himself is its own reward; he thinks he’s right about that much. He knows, if he had it over to do again, he would do the same thing. Joey’s life is worth more to him than the turmoil he feels right now. He wasn’t thinking about Fiamet’s claim that Alternia and Earth would be destroyed if Joey didn’t go back to Earth; he wasn’t thinking at all beyond the need to do whatever he needed to to save her.

And he did, and he can’t feel too badly about that… even if he still kind of does feel bad? That doesn’t even make sense, and he knows if he tried explaining any of it to another troll, they wouldn’t get it either. He feels stupid, but that’s at least something normal. Even though he knows Joey wouldn’t want him to think about himself like that, he clings to the thought. He’s stupid. He doesn’t understand any of this, and he doesn’t want to.

He wants to go home. He wants his Lusus. He wants to see Dammek, because he doesn’t know what to think about him anymore! Yeah, Joey decided before she ever left Dammek’s hive that she didn’t like him, but Xefros can’t even argue with what she says now. Not after what he’s heard and what he’s seen and what he can’t just talk himself out of noticing.  

’Tetrarch D doesn’t do quadrants.’

Well, maybe Xefros isn’t going to do quadrants either!

Except he still cares about Dammek. He’s cared too long to just… stop. So much of himself is wrapped up in Dammek and his schemes. If none of that was… if Dammek never really cared… then what was it all for? He doesn’t want to believe that Dammek was just using him, that Dammek saw him as… what? a cleaning drone he could get paps from? But what is he supposed to think? His best friend who did bad things behind his back and called him derogatory names and hung the threat of blackmail over his head and forced him to do rituals that hurt him…

Xefros doesn’t want to think about Dammek anymore.

A warm pressure against his side startles him from his thoughts. It’s Joey, leaning against him. Xefros smiles down at her even as her fake horn jabs him in the shoulder. Her dark eyes are closed, and he feels warm in the less literal sense, too. He doesn’t know much about humans, since Joey is the only one he’s ever met, but he wonders if all of them are as trusting as Joey is. Although it will be safer for her if this whole adventure has made her realize that she actually can’t trust every troll she sees, he thinks he’ll miss seeing her offer her kindness so freely.

It was… Xefros doesn’t have the words to describe it. Joey, going around, treating trolls like… like they were the same as her. Like they would just return her kindness and trust because she gave it to them first. Kind of incredible how often she was right. And then she was wrong. Very wrong.

He did warn her about clowns. Warned her that clowns only help until it becomes more funny to hurt you instead. Warned her that clowns liked to hurt and murder people, especially lowbloods like him. She said she’d keep her guard up, but he really should have known she wouldn’t. Joey is just too trusting and nice. Maybe clowns are different on Earth. A lot of things are different on Earth even when they’re similar: taxidemeritation, mushrooms, nuns. So, why not clowns, too? Maybe on Earth clowns are really nice or something. Maybe everyone on Earth is nice.

Though, maybe not. Joey sounds so angry when she talks about her home sometimes. Especially about her… FatherDad? Xefros hasn’t asked because he didn’t want to upset her where she would draw too much attention to herself, but there’s definitely something about that person which makes her upset. He’s not smart like Joey is, but he thinks it’d be nice if he could help her the way she’s been trying to help him. Even if it hurts his bloodpusher and his head to think about.

It’s been a long night, and he’s tired of thinking. He’s just going to sit here until Joey is ready to go back through the clown car and try not to worry about what’s going to happen when they do. Maybe the clowns will still be in a good enough mood to just let them pass? Xefros doubts he and Joey will be that lucky, but… but maybe they will be? Marvus did force that other clown with the axe to let him go in time to save Joey… and he’d accepted Joey’s really flimsy proof of her ‘kills’...

No, he’s not thinking about this. He’s not thinking about anything. Instead, he focuses on the warm and weight against his side and turns his head to stare up at the twin moons hanging high in the sky. He’s never been this far away from his hive. Like Joey, he’s a long away from home. Unlike Joey, at least he knows how the world works. Or he thought he did. If this trip has made him realize anything, it’s made him realize just how much he didn’t know. And not in a because he’s stupid way, though he still feels that, too. Things both were and weren’t like he expected out here, and it makes him feel small. Smaller than he’s used to feeling.

“Xefros?”

Xefros blinks. “Hey, Joey.”

She sits up but doesn’t move away. “Do you think… do you really think they’ll let us back through without… doing anything to us?”

He hates how uncertain she looks. He hasn’t known her long, but Joey is supposed to look confident and self-assured or embarrassed and confused. Occasionally angry and frustrated. Not uncertain and afraid. “Yeah,” he says as confidently as he can manage, which is not very. Highbloods are unpredictable except for the fact that they like to hurt and murder people. That much is very predictable.

“They… they already had their fun with us. I don’t think we should stop and talk to everyone,” he continues quickly, because he knows how much Joey likes to do that with every troll she meets (except for that bronze blood with the huge rack--it’s fairly confusing because, while delusional, he hadn’t seemed like a bad guy to Xefros), “but if we just go right through, we should be fine.”

Joey’s mouth forms an impressive snarl despite her lack of fangs. “Believe me, I have nothing to say to any of them.” She pushes herself up and holds out her hand to Xefros. “Let’s go then. I’m freezing.”

Xefros doesn’t think he’s held hands with anyone as often (or as long) as he has with Joey at this point. He doesn’t hate it. She says she’s freezing, but her hand is warm in his as he uses it more than he thought he would need to as he gets to his feet. His body is complaining about its various hurts now that he’s moving again, and he turns his face away so he can wince without worrying her.

It doesn’t work. “Are you okay, Xefros? I mean, of course you’re not okay, but like, do you need help?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Joey smiles slightly. “That’s what you told me when you were being crushed under rocks and when you were being juggled by a murderous clown.” Her words are teasing but kind and concerned. “You’ll tell me if you’re really hurt? I don’t want you to just say you’re fine if you’re not.”

Although it was a question, Xefros hears the command in it. “I’ll tell you,” he promises even as he wonders what ‘really hurt’ means to Joey. He almost asks but decides not to--he’s not sure now is the time to have that conversation. It’s kind of funny when Joey acts shocked to learn how things are on Alternia, but it also hurts a little to see her look so disappointed afterward?

She’s not disappointed in him personally, and he knows that, but it’s hard not to feel like she is sometimes. Like he should have tried to come from a better planet. It’s dumb and makes him feel dumb, and maybe it’s selfish, but he’d really just rather not right now!

Another soft smile distracts him from his spiral. “Okay.” Then she straightens her shoulders, and her eyes narrow. She looks determined and brave, even if her hold on his hand tightens like she’s drawing strength from him. Which is ridiculous--she’s the brave one here, not him no matter what she says. “Let’s go.”

Xefros follows her into the clown car, still holding her hand in his, feeling like he could follow Joey anywhere, ready to throw down his life if that’s what he has to do to protect her. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt like that before tonight, and he holds onto the feeling as Joey leads them through the dark, stuffy car. He wants to cover his ears against the loud music, but that would mean letting go of Joey, and he isn’t going to do that.

The clowns are busy, as far as Xefros can tell from quick glances through squinting eyes, worshiping at their strange altar. The screams of the young clown whose… matesprit? moirail? Xefros killed have made way for sobs, and that’s almost worse. He can barely breathe, but he’s not sure if it’s from building panic or from whatever drugs the clowns have been doing besides soda.

When they reach the dubious safety of the elevator and are lifted out of the worst of the cloying air, Xefros lets go of Joey’s hand, feeling suddenly awkward without the threat of imminent death. Joey said they’re friends, and she still doesn’t get quadrants, but they’ve been a lot closer than normal friends, so this is all really confusing. Maybe friends are something that are different on Earth, too. Joey doesn’t seem to mind, giving him another small smile.

When they’re back out into the open, Xefros breathes a little easier. Joey looks out the rope railing, and he wonders what she thinks when she looks up at the twin moons. Is she homesick? Does she think they’re pretty? It’d be nice if at least one thing on Alternia wasn’t a horrific disappointment to her.

Then she turns back to him, her smile is sad but genuine, and despite her various physical deformities--or what would be deformities if she were a troll; he doesn’t know if she has human deformities, too, because it never seemed like the time to ask--, he wouldn’t change a thing about her.

It’s Joey Claire: the best human friend a troll could ask for.

[painted-crow]

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

[riversofmars]

Chapter 10: The Lesser Evil

Tranzelore

“Don’t go, please my love, it’s too dangerous.“ River pleaded, grabbing her husband’s arm as he headed for his time stream that pulsed and flared in the middle of his supposed tomb.“You can’t cross into your own time stream.“ It was done, Vastra, Jenny and Strax where back, so were Amy and Rory. Clara had done it, jumping into his time stream, she had stopped the Great Intelligence at every turn, keeping the timeline intact. There was nothing left to do.

“I’ve got to get her out.“ He insisted stepping closer to his time stream.

“You could die, you could cease to exist.“ River argued trying to stop him.

“She’s always there, all over my time stream, that is why she is important.“ The pieces were falling into place. This was why they had been encountering Clara over and over again. He had been so intrigued and finally, he had figured it out. “Run you clever boy and remember.“ He echoed the words she had said to him many times over.

“Darling.“ River could sense she wasn’t getting anywhere, her husband was in a world of his own thoughts.

“Finally I’ve worked her out.“ He grinned, pleased with the accomplishment. Initially he’d only kept her close out of curiosity, trying to work out how she could be appearing and dying again and again but what a nice surprise that she was actually a loyal friend all along. Sacrificing herself by jumping into his time stream, he could hardly think of a greater proof of loyalty.

“Then leave it at that.“ River tried to reason with him. “We’re safe, the timeline is intact, don’t risk it now, making her sacrifice pointless.“

“I won’t fail.“ He reassured her, a confident smile on his handsome features.

“But what if you do.“ River exclaimed. “You can’t risk your life for hers!“

“Why not?“ He looked back at her confused.

“Why not?!“ River echoed his words in disbelief.

“There are only very few people we can truly trust River, we need to keep them close. She’s just proven her loyalty.“ He looked back to the pulsing energy as if he could see Clara within it. “I owe her to get her out of there.“

“Is that all? Loyalty?“ River’s words were sharper than she had intended, revealing more than she meant to.

“River.“ He groaned in annoyance. Jealousy was not an attractive quality.

“I think it’s a fair question, you’d make me a widow of me in a pointless attempt at saving her?“ River retorted accusingly. Surely he had to know how this would make her feel.

“River, I love you, you must know that.“ He started reaching for her hand, trying to reassure her.

“Then listen to me!“ River insisted, her expression one of both anger and fear. What if he did, in fact, lose himself in there? She couldn’t bare the idea of losing him.

“I always listen.“ He told her and pulled her into his arms. “You’re the one that always here by my side, you’re the first thing I see when I wake and the last when I go to sleep. And I always listen.“ He pressed a kiss to her hair. “But sometimes, you have to listen to me too when I tell that this is what I have to do.“ He took her face in his hands and kissed her, hoping to convey his love and devotion. “Trust me?“ He asked softly as they parted.

“Always.“ River smiled. That impossible, infuriating man.

“See you in a minute, Professor Song.“ He gave her a wink, straightened his bowtie and jumped into his time stream.

——

“Now isn’t that a bit forward, seeing as you’re still fully dressed, Doctor?“ River smirked as she grabbed the Doctor by the collar and ripped her shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. The Doctor jolted back, colour draining from her face. She was too shocked to respond and River took advantage of her stupor. She pulled her around, knocking her into the wall face first. The Doctor tried to pull away but River pinned her against the wall with her own weight. “What? Should I not have said anything? Would you like to keep going and we pretend I don’t know who you really are?“ River hummed against the shell of her ear as she pressed herself against her. She brushed her hair aside and pushed her other hand around her, fumbling with the button of her trousers.

“You knew.“ The Doctor groaned as River trailed kisses up the side of her neck. She tried to pull away from her touch. This had been a terrible idea. She was already regretting her moment of weakness. “When did you realise?“

“About five seconds in.“ The amusement was audible in River’s sultry voice.

“Then why did you…“ The Doctor tried to throw her off, anxiety building as River succeeded in unbuttoning her trousers. She should have realised this was a trap, she should have questioned why River had fallen for her act so completely. She should have known she wouldn’t be able to imitate the Emperor well enough to fool her own wife.

“It got you here, didn’t it? Also… I was curious to see how far you’d go…“ River chuckled as she buried her hand in the Doctor’s hair and pulled her head back. “Maybe I should have let you carry on, now we will never know.“ She ran her hand along the waistband of her Doctor’s pants, clearly enjoying the Doctor’s near-panic as she fought against her. “But alas, I couldn’t do that to my wife.“ Unexpectedly, she let go of her and took a step back, tying up her nightgown. “I didn’t think that I would have to be the one to stop.“ She tilted her head in amusement as she watched the Doctor turn around quickly doing up her trousers, she tried to pull the shirt shut to cover herself up but the buttons were all but two ripped off. Her eyes darted around the room for a way out as River regarded her like a lioness her prey. “Don’t even think about it. I triggered a silent alarm ages ago when I went to get changed.“ River smirked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Of course you did.“ The Doctor groaned, annoyed by her own stupidity, she really should have known.

“Well, I didn’t know how much time I would have. How was I to know you were that easily to keep close.“ River chuckled. “The guards are outside the door and my wife should be home any minute. You think you had a hard time last time? Just wait till she finds out what you’ve been up to.“

——

“Fine, no more games.“ Clara chuckled, there was no need for theatrics now that she had got River out of sight of anyone else. “I think that’s quite enough of that.“ Somewhere in the other room the squark of a raven sounded making River look around for a second. As she looked back to Clara, her tattoos began to blur, rising up into the air.

“A quantum shade.“ River jerked back, immediately realising what she was dealing with.

“Aren’t you the perceptive one.“ Clara replied patronisingly as she pushed River’s hand with the knife away. “Now, I suggest you stop this.“ She tried to shove her off and River obliged, she got to her feet and stepped back, keeping the swirling darkness in her sights. She knew when something could be fought and when it was better to take a step back and reevaluate her options. “There’s a good girl.“ Clara got to her feet as River tried to formulate an escape plan.

“You’re trying to use me to get to the Doctor. Is she even here?“ River tried her best to control her anger, as she realised what was going on. She wanted answers. She didn’t do well at the mercy of others. She threw the butter knife across the room in anger.

“Oh she’s here alright.“ Clara said softly. “And yes, I am going to use you to get her help.“

“Her help? If you need help, you just ask for it! You don’t have to blackmail the Doctor, the Doctor always helps if…“ River exclaimed but Clara started laughing, interrupting her.

“The Doctor always helps.“ She mimicked her. “I bet she does as well… You’re so naive. Both of you are. It’s laughable. Just between us girls, River, I don’t think it’s the sort of help she’ll want to give.“

The Raven burst out of the other room making River take a step back. It landed on Clara’s shoulder as she held out the note she’d written earlier.

——

“Alright, fine, shouldn’t have done this, I get it.“ The Doctor tried her best to steady her voice. “Brain short-circuited, physically you could be my wife after all.“

“Yes yes and since she’s dead, it’s not really cheating, is it? You tell yourself that. I thought you were someone who would be kept up at night by this sort of thing but maybe I underestimated you after all. Or I overestimated your devotion to your wife.“ River hummed with no small measure of gratification in her voice. “Do you still want my hand between your legs, Doctor?“

“That’s quite alright, I can sort that out for myself later.“ The Doctor bit back, trying to give as good as she got and gloss over how much her words stung.

“I very much doubt you’ll get the opportunity.“ River grinned briefly glancing to the door. The Doctor couldn’t be sure if she actually expected her wife to return any moment now or if she was only trying to intimidate her by acting like she would. Either way, she needed to get out of here now.

“You really are remarkably like my River, witty, determined, strong… but there’s just one thing, one mistake my River never would have made.“ The Doctor said as River returned her attention to her.

“Yeah? And what’s that?“ River laughed.

“My River never let’s me keep my sonic when she doesn’t want me to get out of handcuffs.“ The Doctor grabbed her sonic screwdriver from her back pocket and blasted River with it. It wasn’t much, not harmful, not debilitating but for a moment, she blinded her, disoriented her, scrambling the signals from the nerves in her eyes to her brain. A moment was all the Doctor needed to bolt and rush to the TARDIS. River screamed, not in pain but in anger as she needed a moment to recover. The Doctor wasn’t even paying attention to her anymore, she didn’t look back, when she found the TARDIS wasn’t locked. She rushed inside and the lights came on. It wasn’t the warm golden light she knew, it was red and garish against the black walls.

“Really bloody cheerful.“ The Doctor mumbled to herself as she hurried to the console. She started pressing buttons and pulling levers but the TARDIS revolted. The humming and wheezing was loud, unhappy, the Doctor got an electric shock and she pulled her hand back. The TARDIS knew she wasn’t the Emperor and she was refusing to cooperate.

“She won’t let just anyone fly her.“ The Doctor whirled around to see River heading for her. The diversion had been even less effective than she had hoped. “You’re going to regret this, Doctor.“ River snarled.

“Emergency teleport then!“ The Doctor used her sonic to blast the TARDIS console. Sparks flew and River lunged forward but the TARDIS control room around her disappeared. It wasn’t ideal, she didn’t have the TARDIS like she had hoped, but it was a way out.

When the Doctor materialised she looked around panicked, trying to orient herself.

“Great, it worked!“ She exclaimed as she recognised Clara’s quarters. “Clara! We need to talk!“ She looked around for Clara but froze when she found a second person with her. “River…“ The Doctor’s eyes widened in shock. There was no way the Emperor’s wife would have been able to get here before her. She wouldn’t have known where the teleport went and this River was wearing the environmental suit she had worn in the Library. There was only one explanation. The Doctor’s head was spinning, she felt sick as her emotions overwhelmed her. The extraction chamber had worked, River was here.

River looked back at her in surprise. This woman had just appeared out of thin air and judging by the look on Clara’s face, she hadn’t expected her sudden appearance either. The blonde looked at her as if she was a ghost or perhaps a wish come true? There were all sorts of emotions painted on her soft features and tears were welling up in her big eyes that were so impossibly deep and old, not at all matching the youthfulness of her pretty face.

“Doctor?“ River asked slowly remember what Clara had told her. The Doctor was a woman now and this woman looked at her as if she was her sun and stars.

“River, you’re alive!“ The Doctor exclaimed and throwing caution to the wind she rushed to her, flinging herself around her neck. River was overwhelmed, she nearly knocked her off her feet but she pulled her close, held her, reflex more than anything else, as she tried to wrap her head around what she already knew to be true.

“Is it really you?“ She asked tentatively as she pulled back and looked the blonde up and down.

“Oh right, you haven’t seen this face before.“ The Doctor smiled as she took a step back and wiped away a few stray tears in embarrassment.

“Can’t say that I mind…“ River chuckled. “What have you been up to?“ She raised her eyebrows at her barely buttoned shirt.

“Ah… uhh…“ The Doctor blushed and a crushing wave of guilt came over her, overshadowing her joy for seeing her. What had she done? How could she? She struggled to breath as she was searching for the right words.

“Sorry to interrupt this touching moment, but you are in my quarters.“ Clara interrupted at last, fed up of being ignored. She scrunched up the note she had been about to give her Raven. There was no need for it now. This was even better than she could have imagined.

“Clara.“ The Doctor pulled River behind herself as she turned to face her.

“How nice of you to join us, Doctor.“ Clara smirked, observing her protective gesture with amusement. Yes, this would work very well indeed. “It seems as though you forgot something in the extraction chamber.“

“What’s going on here?“ The Doctor demanded to know.

“What’s going on is that I was just trying to work out what exactly happened when you came here, Doctor, and as I was having my look around the extraction chamber, your wife appeared.“ Clara explained with a smug smile.

“River, are you okay, are you…“ The Doctor glanced to her wife and grabbed her hand to assure herself she was here.

“Alive? I think so. As alive as one is coming out of an extraction chamber…“ River replied giving her hand a squeeze. “I know what it does Doctor, you sentimental idiot, you couldn’t just let me die, could you? I’ll have to go back eventually, you know, unless you want a paradox ripping time apart… again…“ She knew the sad truth behind what the Doctor had done. As much as she appreciated the sentiment, there was more heartbreak to come for them, it couldn’t be avoided. And yet, she was grateful for every moment she got to spend with her husband… wife.

“But not for a while. How about we deal with all that when we get out of here.“ The Doctor suggested, trying not to think about what she was implying.

“Sounds like a good idea.“ River nodded looking around for an escape route again.

“You are not going anywhere, Doctor, not just yet. Mind you, we probably haven’t got long to have this conversation. Your teleport, I’m sure they’ll be able to trace it.“ Clara pointed out.

“I don’t think there are any guards at the door.“ River said and the Doctor nodded, having come to the same conclusion.

“Run?“ The Doctor suggested as they inched away from Clara.

“Let’s.“ River agreed and they bolted to the door but Clara had other ideas. The Raven took off and sailed in front of them, barring the door.

“I don’t think so.“ Clara hummed and the tattoos dissolved, swirling into to air and jolted forward. The dark smoke struck the back of River’s neck forming a quantum lock.

“No!“ The Doctor shouted whipping back around to Clara.

“Do I have your attention now, Doctor? I said we need to have a conversation.“ Clara crossed her arms in front of her chest expectantly.

“Take it off her.“ The Doctor yelled taking a threatening step towards Clara who grinned:

“I will, eventually, if you agree to help me with a little something.“

“What?“ The Doctor asked and looked to River with great worry. River touched the back of her neck her expression darkening. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“I would like your help, Doctor. Your wife assures me one only needs to ask for your help? Well, I thought it would be more convincing if I had your wife as collateral.“ Clara revealed and the Doctor squared her jaw.

“What do you want?“

“You’ve been here long enough now to know, Doctor, that this is not a nice place. You’ve been to the streets, you’ve seen the poverty, the state of the Empire? Perhaps you will reconsider what we talked about before?“ Clara smiled.

“You want to topple the Emperor.“ The Doctor concluded with a sigh.

“I’d never be able to do it by myself as you know and it’s unlikely I’ll ever be able to convince her that I am a far more suitable match for her… so I’m left with few options.“ Clara confirmed with a shrug.

“I won’t kill anyone, not even her…“ The Doctor retorted firmly.

“I realise that and I don’t expect you to. What I do need you to do is play a role. It looks like you have been having a practice run already. There is a ceremony tomorrow, celebrating the Emperor’s return to Gallifrey, it’s the most important holiday. That is why the Emperor has been so eager to get information out of you so quickly, I presume she was trying to announce the next big chapter for the Empire tomorrow.“ Clara explained crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“That’s never going to happen, I would sooner die than tell you how…“ The Doctor shook her head. River looked on in confusion. Who was this mysterious Emperor they were referring to? It sounded like the Doctor had been here a while already and was one step ahead of her.

“Oh I know and I’ve accepted that. I want you to announce the next big chapter in the history of the Empire in her stead tomorrow.“ Clara clarified and the Doctor understood:

“Transfer power to you.“

“Exactly. Not so difficult, is it? Small price to pay for your wife’s life isn’t it?“ Clara glanced to River who still had confusion painted all over her face.

“And how are you going get rid of the Emperor?“ The Doctor asked which seemed to be the one big catch.  

“You leave that to me. You just be back here tomorrow at noon. I would keep you here but you’ve ruined it now with your teleport trick. It they find you here we’re both done for, they need to see you fleeing the palace so the don’t suspect me.“ Clara sighed, what an inconvenience. Likelihood was they had traced the teleport by now and were on their way here. She had to wrap this up.

“And what if I don’t agree?“ The Doctor huffed.

“You will do this for me, Doctor, or your wife, who was so very fortunate to get a second lease on life, will die.“ Clara shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s really a very easy decision to make. I will contact you with the details, my Raven will find you.“

“Take off the lock.“ The Doctor demanded, her voice firm.

“Once I can be sure of your cooperation.“ Clara smiled giving River a wink.

“Fine, alright, I’ll do it, but you leave her alone.“ The Doctor threatened.

“I’ll take the mark off her once it’s done.“ Clara clapped her hands together in excitement.

“No! You take it off her and you take it off her NOW!“ The Doctor yelled jabbing her finger at her.

“Alright, fine. Just remember I can put it back whenever I please.“ Clara huffed and with a wave of her hand, the chrono lock disappeared from River’s neck. River gave a sigh of relief.

“And you take it off the Monk.“ The Doctor went on, remembering why she had come here in the first place.

“The Monk?“ Clara frowned confused.

“Sign of good faith. If you want my help, do it.“ The Doctor insisted.

“Alright, fine, don’t care about him either way.“ Clara gave another wave of her hand. It wasn’t like the Emperor had any way of finding out about this.

“Doctor, you can’t help her…“ River spoke up. She wasn’t sure what exactly was going on but the Doctor was being blackmailed into doing something she didn’t want to do, and that in itself was enough information for her to protest.

“It’s a matter of the lesser evil, River. You haven’t met the Emperor yet… and her wife.“ The Doctor replied, hoping she never would come across them. “They deserve it.“

“Yes they do, Doctor. I’m glad you have come to your senses.“ Clara agreed.

“When it’s done, I’m taking the TARDIS. You can’t fly it anyway. I will need it to find a way home.“ The Doctor realised this was the right moment to bargain. If she wanted to find a way back to her own universe, the TARDIS would be her best bet.

“Fine.“ Clara smiled at her graciously. She had no use for the TARDIS anyway. The Emperor and her wife were the only ones that could fly her. She couldn’t imagine the Doctor would even find a way of using it. “See, the things we can accomplish when we work together.“

“Then you have yourself a deal.“ The Doctor nodded. Her best and only cause of action right now was to agree. She could reevaluate her options later when her and River had got to relative safety.

“Now, I suggest you go, before the guards turn up.“ Clara engaged a screen on the wall, surveillance of the corridor outside.

“River…“ The Doctor grabbed her wife’s hand again but Clara cut in:

“…will be my honoured guest until tomorrow. No harm will come to her, I need her as assurance and you know I wouldn’t harm her, else I would have nothing to pressure you with.“ The Raven squawked for emphasis. “You know I’m right.“ She extended her hand to River. “Unless you’d like that chrono lock back?“

“I’ll be fine, Sweetie.“ River gave her wife’s hand a squeeze before letting go and joining Clara though ignoring her hand. “I’m sure Clara and I have a lot to talk about.“ Perhaps she could find out more about this place.

“We’ll braid each other’s hair and drink champagne, nothing for you to worry about, Doctor.“ Clara smirked at the Doctor who balled her fists, feeling anxious. She didn’t like the idea of leaving River here but under the circumstances she might not have another choice. She glanced to the screen and spotted guards heading their way. They were running out of time. “Now be a dear and make sure they see you as you bolt down the corridor so they leave us alone in here.“ Clara said going her a little wave.

“Everything will be fine, River, I promise, I will come back for you.“ The Doctor looked to her wife who gave her a little smile.

“Well, you better, what good was all that business with the extraction chamber if you don’t.“ River winked. “Go before they catch up with you.“

“I will be back.“ The Doctor insisted. There was so much she wanted to say, she had played it out so many times in her mind of what she would say if she ever got to see River again, but now there was no time. And very little hope. But she took what she could from the little smile and nod River gave her. There was time for words later.

The Doctor had hardly pulled the door shut behind her, when she heard voices. She hurried towards the hidden passage way but hung on by the corner where she could still see the door to Clara’s rooms. She couldn’t allow for River to get caught. If they had in fact traced her teleport signal, they would be searching for her there. When she realised the guards indeed headed straight for the door, she knocked over a nearby bust that crashed to the ground and drew their attention. Calling “Oi! Over here.“ would have been too obvious, they couldn’t realise she was drawing their attention on purpose. When she was sure they’d seen her, she bolted down the corridor. Luckily, she knew more than one secret shortcut to the city below.

——

Clara knocked over a table and some vases, creating traces of a struggle. She picked up a shard from the broken vase and cut her own arm, barely flinching. River raised her eyebrows, concluding that she had to be very scared of the Emperor to go to such lengths to not be found out.

“I don’t think I have to explain to you what will happen if anyone finds you in here.“ Clara caught the questioning expression on River’s face and ushered her to a small room further into her quarters.

“No, you don’t but there is something you do need to explain to me: the Emperor, who is she? And why do you need the Doctor?“ River asked.

“Miss Oswald, please open up.“ There was knocking on the door.

“We haven’t got time for this, get in here and not a sound.“ Clara pushed her into the room and locked the door. River didn’t struggle, she didn’t trust Clara but she trusted the Doctor and if she was concerned for her safety should anyone find her, she know she should try her best to hide. She looked around the room, a small spare bedroom by the looks of it. Nothing much to it, nothing that she could fashion a weapon out of if needed. The vase on the dresser appeared to be her best bet so she grabbed it and stood against the door, pressing her ear to it. She had to find out more about what was going on here.

“Emperor…“ Clara’s voice was distant but clear.

“Don’t even start, Clara! We know she was here. Using my own TARDIS, she’s going to pay for that!“

River froze when she recognised a voice that sounded exactly like the Doctor’s, only with an icy edge to it. Suddenly, Clara’s demands were making a lot more sense. The puzzle pieces were falling into place and River didn’t care for the picture they were revealing.

[onceuponaloonatic]

Okay some of us are now dying to know. What does the morning after look like for SaHyo. I assume with the morning light comes new revelations, and I'm ready. 🦄

tw for mentions of rape

Jihyo woke up before Sana. Her head was pounding and a bit fuzzy, but she generally remembered what happened yesterday. They had gotten drunk, and then they slept together. Jihyo thought she would have more regrets, she had cheated on her husband last night. But honestly, she didn’t feel regret. She felt relieved.

Sana’s body looked like it was glowing with the way the sun shined on it. The sunlight trickled in from the slats in the blinds, illuminating Sana’s naked form. Jihyo wasn’t sure she had ever seen someone that beautiful while they were sleeping. Sana had a few red marks on her neck, and Jihyo would probably feel bad about them later. But for now, she liked them. She had always been territorial. Everything was quiet, and perfect. Jihyo wanted to freeze time and just exist in this moment with Sana. She didn’t want to leave this bed. She didn’t want reality to hit her. She wasn’t ready for it. 

“Jihyo?” Sana muttered as she woke up. “Are you awake?” “Hello.” Jihyo put one hand on Sana’s cheek. Sana was still opening her eyes, clearly still sleepy as Jihyo and her held eye contact. “Good morning sleepy head.” “You should have woken me up when you woke up.” Sana whined, causing Jihyo to giggle at her. SHe hadn’t even noticed how much time she had spent staring at Sana. It was an embarrassing amount, and Jihyo had never been like this before. So soft. So in love. It was scary. 

Sure she had loved Daniel. It took a long time to stop loving him. He was sweet, and their parting was not easy. Especially because he never knew the truth about Dahyun. Jihyo checked in on him sometimes. He had moved to Australia recently, and Jihyo was honestly happy for him. He looked happy there, and Jihyo suspected he may even have a girlfriend. He posted a lot of pictures with her, so she assumed they were probably dating. She didn’t mind like she thought she would have. She still thought he maybe deserved to know about Dahyun. And she would tell him. One day. Whenever she was able to get Minjoon out of her life. 

Her and Minjoon’s relationship had always been complicated. They had never loved each other, but they had been married against both their wills. Jihyo had tried to fight it, but she lost the fight to her family. Minjoon had never treated her well. He was a charming man to most people, but Jihyo saw the real side of him. The ugly side. The night Chaeyoung was conceived had not been something Jihyo wanted to remember. She had tried to fight, but he fought back. She had cried the next day, showering and washing her body repeatedly after he touched it. When he found out Jihyo was still with Daniel, he went mad. He took her phone, deleted her social media accounts, blocked any phone number he did not recognize, and then he forced himself on her. He threatened her, and she knew she was stuck. Everyone trusted him, no one trusted her. 

She had so much fear about Sana. Sure Minjoon was around less now than he was when she was with Daniel, but it still terrified her. He didn’t know Jihyo was bi, so that would likely throw him off their trail for a while. But she wasn’t sure how long they could keep it a secret from him. She had tried to stop herself from falling in love with Sana because of it. She didn’t want Sana to get hurt. But Jihyo had already crossed the line, without even realizing it. She was in love with Sana, and Sana loved her. They had kissed multiple times, and now they had slept together. There wasn’t any going back now.

“-Jihyo?” Sana interrupted Jihyo’s train of thought. “What’s wrong? Oh no do you regret this-”

“The only thing I regret-” Jihyo cut Sana off, leaning forward and kissing her. “Is not doing this sooner.” A blush spread across Sana’s cheeks. 

“W-What about Minjoon-”

“Don’t worry about him.” Jihyo could deal with him. He was her husband after all. Sana didn’t have to worry herself with that. “Why don’t you go shower? I’ll meet you in the dining room for breakfast.” “Where are you going?” Sana asked as she watched Jihyo get dressed. “I’m just going to make a call. It’s for work. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” Jihyo gave Sana a fake smile. She didn’t want her to know what she was really doing. Sana was so perfect, so pure. Jihyo wasn’t going to drag her into the shitshow that was her marriage. “Okay.” Sana nodded, leaning forward to give Jihyo another kiss. “See you in a bit.” “Yup. See you.” XX Jihyo stared at her phone for the better part of five minutes. She had worked up all this nerve to call Minjoon earlier but all her resolve was lost when she pulled up her husband’s contact on her phone. It was scary. But she had to do this. She couldn’t live with him anymore. If she wanted to be with Sana, she had to get rid of him. 

The phone rang twice before Minjoon picked up. Jihyo had the phone pressed to her ear as she twirled her pen with the other, a nervous habit of hers. “Hello?” He sounded tired. He was on a business trip. Jihyo had no clue where, anytime she tried to ask him and his employees would just say business trip and not answer anymore. 

“Minjoon…” Jihyo took a deep breath. She had rehearsed what she was going to say to him earlier, but it all left her when she heard his voice. 

“Mm… Minjoonie hang up.” Jihyo paused when she heard a woman’s voice. A woman? Why was Minjoor with a woman? Reality hit her like a truck. She wasn’t the only one who wasn’t faithful in this relationship. “Come back to bed.” “One second baby.” Minjoon giggled. “Who is this?” It was then that Jihyo realized she wasn’t using her cell phone. She was using her work phone. Minjoon didn’t have her work phone number saved in his called id. 

“I can’t believe you.” Was the first thing that came out of Jihyo’s mouth. He had been so mad when he found out she was with Daniel. He had hurt her, physically and mentally. And now she comes to find out he’s been cheating too. Suddenly everything makes sense. Why he was constantly away on business trips. Why he never told her where he was going. “Jihyo… Did you hear that?” Jihyo could hear the panic in his voice.

“Yes.” Jihyo nodded. “I can’t fucking believe you.” “You can’ believe me? You fucking cheated on me first!” He argued. 

“Yeah and you- you raped me in response!” Jihyo had never been able to put what happened that night into words. She had hated everything about that night. The only good thing to come out of it was Chaeyoung. “Your a fucking monster.” “I don’t want to hear that from you!” Minjoon argued back. “You dirty cheater!” Jihyo had felt guilty every time she met Daniel after she had married Minjoon. But she had been with Daniel before she had been with Minjoon, and Minjoon knew that. Something else occurred to Jihyo as she formulated her response. Minjoon had been going on these business trips longer than the twins had been alive. He had been doing them since before he even knew about Daniel. “You did it first…” Jihyo sat back in realization. 

“N-No I didn’t!” Minjoon argued. 

“You did… And I’m an idiot.” Jihyo crushed herself. “Minjoon this clearly isn’t working. Can we please just get divorced already dammit?”

“Do you know what our families will say-”

“Fuck them!” Jihyo interrupted. “Please… I’ll do all the work. Just sign the form. You can go be with whoever that girl is and I can be happy.” “Fuck you Park Jihyo.” She heard him growl. “Do whatever you fucking want.” He hung up the phone and Jihyo set the phone down. She should be happy, she got what she wanted. But the conversation had left her tense. 

“Jihyo?” Sana knocked on her office door, startling Jihyo. 

“Come in.” Jihyo put the phone away. 

“What’s wrong? I heard you yelling?” Sana asked as she came into the office. Jihyo patted her lap and Sana climbed into it. 

“Nothing’s wrong Sana.” Jihyo felt all of her anger and bad emotions melt away looking into Sana’s confused doe like brown eyes. “But-” Jihyo interrupted her with a kiss. “Nothing is ever wrong when I’m with you.” And Jihyo meant it.

XX Thedivorce was strangely anticlimactic. Jihyo had expected Minjoon to cause a huge fuss, but he had stayed quiet, signing all of the required legal forms and attending all the legal hearings. Jihyo came to find out why a few weeks later. His new girlfriend, who Jihyo suspected was the girl who’s voice she heard, was pregnant. He announced it to the media about a month after their divorce. They hadn’t made it public how far along she was, but Jihyo found out from her family she was already pregnant before Jihyo had even asked him for the divorce. Sana asks Jihyo if the divorce had anything to do with her, but Jihyo reassures her it had nothing to do with her. The only people who really suffer in the divorce are Dahyun and Chaeyoung. The two girls go through a big change. Their parents got divorced, their dad had a new girlfriend, and they were getting a new half sibling. It was a lot to take at once. But they come to adapt to the changes. Minjoon only takes care of them once a month, for a weekend. Jihyo can’t help but feel nervous anytime they go over to his house, but the court had ordered he spend at least some time with them. 

Dahyun had started asking more and more about her real dad after the divorce. Jihyo tells her a little bit about Daniel, and tells her that he loves her even if he can’t see her. It’s a little white lie, because Daniel doesn’t actually know about Dahyun. But Jihyo knew if he did, he would absolutely love the girl to death. Jihyo decided she would tell him soon, with Minjoon gone Jihyo realized it was finally time. Jihyo had made Dahyun promise to never tell Minjoon about her real father, afraid of how he would react. Dahyun promised, and Jihyo noticed she was actually able to keep the promise. Eventually, Jihyo stops worrying as the girls going over to their dads becomes less frequent. After the birth of their half sister, Minjoon had started seeing the twins even less because he was too busy. They both seemed okay with it, and Jihyo suspected it was because they rarely saw their dad before. Once a month turns into once every six months and once every six months becomes once a year. Jihyo really didn’t hate it, she knew he was their dad but she hated him.

Sana fit perfectly into their lives. The girls had already adored Sana, so finding out their mom and Sana were dating, they were elated. They even started calling her mama. Sana was so happy to be with them, nearly crying when they called her mama. Jihyo finds it adorable how much Sana loves them. 

“Dahyun stop squirming.” Jihyo sighed as she tried to keep Dahyun still. She was holding both of the twins hands, the two seven year olds dressed in nice clothing. “Chaeyoung you too.” “Chaeyoung do you see her?” Jihyo was ignored by the two, who were scouring the crowd for Sana. 

“No.” Chaeyoung nodded, looking all around. “Wait I see her!” Dahyun and Chaeyoung both let go of Jihyo’s hands when they saw Sana. She was still in her graduation robes, walking around looking for Jihyo and the twins like they were looking for her. “Mama!” The twins giggled as they ran to Sana. 

“Dahyun! Chaeyoung!” Sana smiled and opened her arms for them, hugging them both tightly. “Mama you looked so pretty on stage!” Chaeyoung commented as she hugged Sana tightly. “Yeah yeah! You looked so cool! You're a teacher now mama!” Dahyun giggled.

“Thank you girls.” Jihyo locked eye contact with Sana, seeing how her girlfriend was on the verge of tears. Jihyo couldn’t help but get emotional at Sana’s emotional state. They had come so far. They had started as strangers. Sana was her kids nanny, she wasn’t supposed to mean anything to Jihyo. But then they fell in love. And now, here they were. The day Sana was finally graduating and becoming a teacher, like she had wanted to since Jihyo had first met her. Once Dahyun and Chaeyoung had gotten their fix of hugs they stood off to the side and examined Sana’s degree. Jihyo came up to her while the twins were distracted.

“I’m so proud of you.” Jihyo pulled Sana into a kiss. 

“Thank you.” Jihyo loved the teary smile and giggle Sana gave her. “I love you.” Jihyo pulled Sana into another kiss. 

“I love you too.”

[papergirllife]

" Without you I feel dizzy and sad, I feel low. " + Lucas

" Stop drinking, Y/N. I bought you along to meet new men, not get your sorry ass drunk over your ex. "

" Shut up, Yeri. It's only been three days. "

" It has happened for like what? Over a hundred times. You should seriously move on to someone better, this on and off thing won't work out in the long run. "

" But I don't feel the same way towards anyone else. "

You said as you took another shot from the table, the alcohol making your throat burn.

Yeri was going to give you another lecture from the look of her eyes, but she was interrupted by a handsome man asking for a dance.

" Go. I'll be fine. Let me sort out my thoughts for a while. "

" Stay put okay? I'll be back. "

You were going to down another shot when you realised that you ran out. You walked towards the bar stumbling into people, as you could feel the alcohol fogging up your mind.

As you walked towards the bar, you bumped into someone.

" Sorry. "

" Y/N ? "

" Lucas? "

" Y/N. You're drunk. I'll take you home. "

" No! I don't ever want to see you again. "

You pushed him away and continued your journey to the bar.

You ordered six more shots and downed them on the spot, not bothering to carry them back to your table as you're drinking alone.

Unbeknownst to you, Lucas was standing not far away from you, his heart clenched in his chest as he sees the pain he has inflicted upon you, regretting the fight the both of you broke out the other day.

You sat on the bar stool, dejected at the fact that you can't get him out of your head, nor your sight.

You tried to move on, you really did. But the memories and hardships you and Lucas had shared was an arrow in your heart.

You tried dating other guys, but called it quits when all you felt from the relationships were unsatisfaction and a sense of emptiness.

Your tears started to fall as you could feel the pain seeping into your heart, it was like poison, slowly killing you.

You ordered a glass of whisky to numb the pain, glass after glass, you could feel yourself losing grasp of reality.

Before you blacked out, you could feel a pair of strong arms lifting you up, and a pair of worried eyes staring at you.

You were still tipsy when you regained consciousness. You could feel a pair of strong arms carrying you around, there's only one person with a decent amount strength that could do that.

" Lucas? "

" Y/N? You're awake? Hold on for a while, you changed your key code to your door so I took you to my place. "

You felt Lucas set you down on a bed. You opened your eyes to see your boyfriend, correction, ex, standing in front of you.

You bolted up in a sitting position on the bed, your drunken state forgetting of your lack of balance under the influence of alcohol.

You grabbed onto his hands and looked into his eyes.

" Why did you help me? We broke up. Why are you here for me when you left?! Why?! Do you know how shit my past few days were?! Do you have any idea what you keep putting me through?! I don't even know why I keep going back to you! Why did I fall for you?! Of all people?! I'm so tired of making the same mistakes over and over again! All for you! "

At this point your whole face was stained with tears, the ache in your heart was unbearable, you don't even understand how it hurts physically, but it just does.

Lucas had sat down next to you on the bed when you stopped speaking.

" I'm sorry. I know now, that it was extremely immature of me. I shouldn't have fought with you over the little things. I shouldn't have said you were nagging me when you were just being caring. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I caused you so much pain for all the times we fought. This is the first time I've seen you during one of our breaks, the way you were drinking to forget your heartache made me realise what a dick I am. I'm sorry. I love you, Y/N, I truly do. I don't deserve you and I'll respect your decision if you choose to end our relationship permanently. "

Lucas's last sentence ended in a whisper, it was one of the most painful things he had ever said in your relationship.

There was never once that he suggested to end things permanently with you, but seeing you in this immense amount of pain knew that this time is different from all the other times. It was like the drop of water that broke the dam, it'll take a long time to patch things up this time around.

But Lucas decided that if you let him, one last time, he would give everything up for it.

Looking back he knew it was dumb that the both of you fought, he was so stupid for staying out late with the boys for drinks, he knew it made you worried of him, but he still did it.

He would've kicked himself if he could go back in time. The events from the night you fought came back to him.

It was around 4am and he had came home, absolutely wasted and pissed off at something, waking you up and he said some mean things that made you leave. It was utterly dumb of him.

He looked at you, snapping out of his thoughts. He could see how tired you were, and skinny. He could tell you haven't ate much these past few days.

Your chest was heaving up and down as you tried your best to recollect your thoughts and swallow down your tears to speak properly.

" How could I leave you? Without you I feel dizzy and sad, I feel low. There's no way I'm going to survive without you. And to be honest, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. "

Lucas pulled you close gently, trying to show you with actions that he is going to stay from here on.

When you made the effort to hug him back, your body let out another round of sobs.

" Don't leave me anymore. Please, my heart can't handle this sort of pain anymore, I feel like I'm dying from a heartache. "

" I'm sorry, love. I'll make it up to you, I promise. "

" Are you sober enough to stand up? "

You nodded.

Lucas stood up and took your hand into his, taking some clean clothes from his closet and leading you to the bathroom.

" Take a shower. "

After your shower, you tried your best to blow dry your hair in your semi intoxicated state but stopped and padded out to the living area when your head got too dizzy.

Lucas had already changed into his sleep clothes and was lying on the sofa, when he saw you he smiled, he always thought you looked best in his clothes.

" Take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch. "

You walked towards him and laid down on his welcoming chest.

" I'm not sleeping alone anymore. It feels lonely. Sleep with me. "

" Are you sure? "

" Yes. "

" You're going to regret this in the morning, but I'm too tired to argue with your drunk ass. "

Lucas once again carried you to the bed and laid you down, he slips into bed next to you, holding you close, as you fall into a peaceful sleep you haven't had in days.

When you woke up, you thought you were dreaming. But the feeling of Lucas's arms wrapped around you felt too real.

You closed your eyes and recountered what happened the night before.

' Fuck, I was supposed to be broken up with him. ' You thought to yourself.

You didn't know how to take in the situation you were in. You were promised yourself to stay away from him, but here you are again, back in his bed. But on the other hand, Lucas made a promise, to never hurt you that way ever again.

How are you going to make a choice?

When you felt movement next to you, you quickly shut your eyes.

You could feel Lucas's arms wrap around your torso tighter, as if he didn't want to let you go.

You could feel his neck nuzzling into your hair, as he inhales the sweet scent of your hair.

" Why do you like to smell my hair in the morning? "

" Because you smell like a combination of you and me, reminds me what a lucky man I am. "

You shudder at that thought. It made you realise how much you love this man, and that even though the both of you don't see eye to eye sometimes, there were also many happy moments.

Lucas must've felt your shudder, because he pulled the blankets higher, thinking you might've been cold.

' He cares for me like no one else. '

To your dismay, Lucas got up and wrapped the blankets around your body.

You could hear him opening and closing kitchen cabinets.

" Where the fuck did I put the Advils? "

You let out a tiny laugh, but quickly biting onto your tongue when you heard his footsteps nearing.

He set down a glass of water, as he takes a seat beside you on the bed.

" Y/N, wake up. You need to eat something, all that drinking from last night without any food intake is bad for your stomach. "

You opened your eyes to see Lucas smiling down at you as he holds the Advil and the glass of water for you.

After you swallowed the pill, Lucas looks at you nervously.

" Do you remember anything from last night? "

" Yeah, I remember the things we said here. Not much from the club. "

" I meant it, every word from last night. "

" No more fighting? "

" No more. " He said as he holds you close.

You nuzzle your face into Lucas's neck, loving the warmth it provides, something you always did whenever you woke up in his arms.

You start peppering kisses on his neck, slowly moving downwards.

Your hands itched to take off his shirt when he stops you.

" I want it to be about you baby, lay down. Let me make it up to you. "

Lucas trailed kisses all over you as he laid you down, removing the clothes he had given you from the night before.

He places a kiss on your covered womanhood, sending shivers up your spine.His fingers reach out to cup your vagina.

" You're already so wet for me, love. "

He hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband of your panties and pulls down.

The sight and the scent of your sex ignites a fire in him.

" I missed you, baby. " He says before he dives into your vagina.

He gives your pussy a fat lick as his fingers rubbed circles onto your clit.

" Fuck, Lucas... "

His fingers stop its ministrations as Lucas switched it to his lips, sucking and lightly biting on your abused clit, sending shocks straight to your already dripping core.

By now his sheets are ruined with your juices, you look up to see the sight of Lucas eating you out made you even wetter.

Lucas slipped in two fingers into your core as he sensed you getting closer to your high.

You thread your fingers into his smooth locks of hair, giving him encouragement.

He stops sucking at your clit and used his other hand to lightly flick and pinch your clit, he always knew you loved it this rough with him.

He scissors you open with his two fingers and fucked his tongue into you, the way his fingers move out as his tongue moves right back in made the coil on your stomach tighten.

" Fuck, Lucas. I'm going to cum. "

If he heard you he didn't say anything, but speeds up his actions, his patience running thin for a taste of your essence, you cum all over his face. But this time felt different, this orgasm felt stronger.

You sat yourself up to see that Lucas's whole face was wet.

" I am so going to make you squirt again."

Let's just say you guys aren't getting out of bed anytime soon, with hundreds of missed calls and texts from Yeri.

To request, follow the link below ❣️

https://papergirllife.tumblr.com/post/615715974898974720/300-followers-milestone-prompts-hi-guys-i-just

[natsumiheart]

I just wanna say how tired I am with some oumota shippers and their argument that oumasai is a bad ship cause apparently Shuichi never cared about kokichi and is annoyed with him and that oumota is better cause kokichi "opened up" to kaito like what they both were dying and kokichi had to convince kaito to work with him so he had to tell the truth that he wasn't the mastermind or else they'll die a meaningless death.I just really wanted to say this cause its driving me insane

Anonymous said:

Btw i was the anon that sent that ask ranting about oumota shippers saying oumota is better than oumasai and I just wanna clarify that I don't hate oumota shippers cause I know its their opinion and everyone can ship what they want but i feel like I really needed to tell someone about it cause it has been messing with my head and I don't have any irl friends that like DR and this blog felt the safest to vent to

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those people! I have a friend who is actually suffering from the same exact thing. Constant harassment from Ou**ta shippers saying Oumasai is toxic. I’m happy you feel like this is the safest blog to vent to ;; And just to make you feel better, here are a bunch of reasons why YOU’RE 100% RIGHT! and you shouldn’t be attacked or ashamed of how you feel towards that ship and all that hate towards yours. If anyone says Shuichi hated Kokichi and never cared for him just read this post! https://natsumiheart.tumblr.com/post/177427505177/hewwo-what-are-your-opinions-on-the-people-who

Warning: If you like Kaito x Kokichi I recommend you don’t read what’s under the cut, I don’t want to diss anyone’s ship in front of their face. That’s just insensitive, and the last thing I want is to ruin someone’s day. Unless you really want to know why others don’t feel the same as you, then don’t check out this post. Thank you!

Note that while I mention the bunch of reasons why this ship just straight up wouldn’t work out, I’m going to ignore the fact that Kaito acts very homophobic and transphobic in the japanese version of the game. I’ve mentioned it in this blog a bunch of times before, and it’s pretty obvious that everyone ignores his Homophobia so I’m just going to pretend as if he’s not homophobic and break down why exactly this ship wouldn’t work out even without him being homophobic in the first place. But I’m definitely not going to exclude how he acts towards guys in general.

> Kaito treats most guys he meets like trash, unless he respects them. Whenever Kaito finds a guy acting “Weak” he literally looks down on them, even gets frustrated with them. Huge proof is how he treated Shuichi for crying over Kaede, and then later punching Kokichi because he was acting “Weird”. Kaito was a huge fan of Ryoma, but when he saw what he has become, someone who has given up on his future, he started treating him badly, and after Ryoma was dead he even talked badly on him calling him “Weak.” and a “Sissy.” Not being able to understand the pain Ryoma was going through or how things were for him. He also got creeped out by Korekiyo for acting like a girl before he even revealed that he was “posessed” by his sister. Aren’t all those moments in the game enough proof that Kaito just straight up doesn’t like guys at all in that way? Then how could he *love* a guy, and Kokichi of all people. Heck, Gonta x Kaito make more sense than Kaito x Kokichi, even though he yelled at Gonta once for crying and being too weak for a man.

It’s shown multiple times in the game that Kaito treats guys like trash, and he treats Kokichi the worst of all.

Note: I do think Kaito can change the way he acts towards guys, but I don’t he will ever love one romantically.

> I think we can all agree that Kokichi is really hard to deal with sometimes. He distances himself so much from everyone as much as he could, and he won’t back down that easily even if it meant hurting others’ feelings. He keeps lying constantly so no one can figure him out or get close to him. We don’t exactly know the reason why, but he has major trust issues and it shows.That is the reason why for us, seeing Shuichi listed under “Trustworthy” was a big deal. (But I’m not going to dive deep into that since I already did multiple times in this blog.) My point here is that Kokichi needs someone with patience, someone who could understand him a bit and why he does what he does. Someone to decipher his actions and break down his walls, but isn’t afraid to sometimes step his foot down and tell him that his actions are wrong and he’s harming others as well as himself. Kaito on the other hand grows frustrated with guys so quickly, he doesn’t listen to their reasoning before heading in for physical violence. THAT is exactly the opposite of what Kokichi needs! And I still don’t understand how others can’t see it! When Kaito punched Kokichi in chapter 4, he was already in so much despair over seeing the secret of the outside world and that punch made it worse. To the point he stayed silent then locked himself in his room. How in the world do people actually see this ship as better than oumasai? I don’t get it.

Kokichi shouldn’t be with someone that will treat him like trash, and physically (if not also emotionally) harm him for how he’s acting.

> Opposites sometimes attract, but POLAR opposites do not. and I’m talking from personal experience here, two people who are different in so many ways (ESPECIALLY THEIR WAY OF THINKING) will end up fighting 24/7. It was shown again and again in the game that Kokichi and Kaito do not get along thanks to how different their approach is to things and their seemingly different upbringings. Ships between two characters who fight a lot just make me so uncomfortable and disturbed, because I know how these relationships actually end up in real life. Fights do happen in relationships sometimes, it’s even needed to strengthen the relationship, to realise that no matter what happens you STILL love your partner, but when you fight every single time you talk? That’s a bad sign! 

Fighting is NOT romantic and it never will be! And when it has physical violence mixed in? My god. Please do yourself a favor and break up with your partner if they keep hitting you.

> Kaito doesn’t ever side with Kokichi:

He literally said in chapter 4 “I don’t wanna survive it means I have to stoop to your level!” and Kokichi said “Then die in a hole for all I care! WE wanna LIVE, so stop getting in our way!”. Kaito will never be on Kokichi’s side, Even if it meant his death and the deaths of all his friends.

When Kaito realised that maybe watching all the motive videos together would’ve prevented a murder from happening Shuichi is the one that points out that it was what Kokichi was trying to do. But then Kaito is like “Huh, really?” Then brushes it off. Because of course, of course Kokichi wants murders to continue. Right?

Even after Kokichi spilled everything to him because he was literally about to die and really wanted Kaito to go along with his plan and believe him. Kaito still stated that he still thought he only thought of himself. Even after Kokichi sacrificed himself to save HIM from the poison and MAKI from being his murderer. He still hated him and didn’t believe him. The only reason Kaito went along with his plan was because he was about to die anyway, he was running out of time and he needed to get out even if it meant following Kokichi’s plan and killing him in the process.

When two people actually love each other they have each others backs. But with these two, they never will.

> I don’t believe Kokichi hated Kaito. But he literally thinks he is stupid and is a bad influence on everyone. These two have a relationship of two siblings that can’t stand each other. I always see myself and my brother in them, which is another reason why their ship makes me beyond uncomfortable. My brother puts his trust in people way too easily, and believes whatever tf his brain comes up with because y’know it’s him and “he’s always right”. He would never take a second to think that maybe he’s wrong, just like Kaito and his hunch. I on the other hand find him incredibly stupid, we argue a lot because our way of thinking and our beliefs are very different, we even used to hit each other a lot. We never really got along. And the way Kokichi and Kaito act around each other really reminded me of it, but you don’t know me and you don’t know my brother so why should you take my word for it? An example I like to use when trying to explain this point to others is the relationship between Stanley and Stanford in Gravity Falls, those two fought a lot in the show but in the last episode they had to work together on a plan despite their differences. Doesn’t it remind you of a certain story that happened in the game? Kokichi and Kaito’s relationship resembles theirs so much it’s insane. 

I feel like the game tried to show us how these two are more like siblings but on bad terms, even giving them similar hair and eye colors. But that flew straight over every rivalry shipper’s head.

These are some of the reasons why Ou**ta wouldn’t work out and can’t even be a thing in the first place, I said it before and I’ll say it again: I could write a book about this topic. But I’m kinda busy today and I have to leave the house soon- I hope you’re convinced that you are actually right. (I’ve been told countless times that I’m wrong leading me to question myself, so I wanted to help out by reassuring you that your feelings are valid and you’re not wrong in this situation at all) Saying Oumasai is toxic for one line Shuichi said while he was angry and defending his friend, while shipping Ou**ta and ignoring all this stuff is like the most hypocritical thing anyone can say. 

And yeah, people should ship whatever they want. Lots of people ignore characters’ feelings and ship the crackiest of ships, making very OOC art and fanfiction. And they can do that! But they can’t go around dissing people for their ship while supporting an obviously flawed one. Honestly you shouldn’t attack people for their ships in the first place, no matter what YOU ship. Just stay in your own bubble and stay away from the ships you dislike. It’s not that hard!

If you’re an Ou**ta fan reading this, I just want to say thank you for reading this far, and I’m really not saying you should stop supporting your ship. I’m just explaining why we feel this way towards it and the evidence we have behind it. If you’re one of the people who go around attacking shippers while boasting your ship. Please stop? Seriously, stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions and life will suddenly become much easier.

I’d like to clarify: If anyone responds to this post telling me I’m wrong, I’m not responding. My blog is for me to post art, sometimes funny stuff to make people’s days, interact with my followers and draw their requests, or ranting about topics I’m passionate about (Mostly DR). I do not want it to be a place for ship discourse, so if I get disagreeing replies or asks I’m going to ignore them like I always do whenever I post these rant type blogs. I hope you understand.