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novantinuum · 7 months

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20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @picnokinesis! Thank you, friend! <3 I love these sorts of things.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

91 works, spread across five fandoms! (listed in #3)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

368,544 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

(In order of most to least recent)

Legend of Zelda (9 works)

Steven Universe (40 works)

Doctor Who (20 works)

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia (5 works)

Gravity Falls (17 works)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Steven Universe fics here, which isn't surprising:

Hollowed Moon (2,953 kudos)

Crack the Paragon (1,711 kudos)

Shattering Atlas (733 kudos)

Contact (625 kudos)

Misalignment (472 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best to respond to comments when I can, although if I get hit with a strong influx of them I often fall behind on this and respond "late." I like my readers knowing that I do take time to read their thoughts, and that they're not just commenting into a void! Also, I've actually made some new fandom connections through engaging with the AO3 comments thread in the past, so they're something I like to encourage.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So this is a tie between Shattering Atlas and a one-shot I posted in my LoZ Whumptober collection.

Shattering Atlas because... well, it's my Steven Universe: Future Bad Ending corruption fic with zero comfort. However, I do IMPLY an eventual "good ending" in the author's notes, so this is up to audience interpretation whether it TRULY counts as "full out angst."

In my Legend of Zelda Whumptober collection, meanwhile, I have a one-shot that is basically an in-game Bad Ending but permanent, in which Mipha's spirit has to watch Link die horribly to the Blight Ganon in Divine Beast Vah Ruta. That one absolutely has no silver lining, but the angstiest descriptions of it ARE pretty swift and don't linger too long.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This question is a little hard to answer because most of my fics are either one-shots or unfinished, and basically ALL of my one-shots have some falling action or catharsis of some sort. I feel like this is more applicable for authors who focus on multi-chapters, so it's not one that meshes well with my fic catalogue.

That being said, if I have to choose ONE fic, then probably my recent post TotK Zelink fic, A Hymm as Sweet as Memory, which actually contains a very impromptu and rushed proposal, and emotional reunion smooches. I feel like that counts as "happy" ahahah.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Eh... no. I haven't really written anything super "controversial" that would garner flames yet.

Yet, though.

(See below.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do now. Haven't posted it yet, but I have a fic about 75% complete that in fact COULD gain me flame commenters. I don't feel like it will, because I feel like AO3 readers are a bit more chill than folks used to be on Fanfiction dot net, but like. It always Could. It is overtly non-con and is written as an experiment both to explore my own cerebral interest in sex from a very detached asexual perspective, and see how absolutely disgusting a piece of prose I can muster. (Think... slime. Monstrous nasties. Hot, brackish fluid rushing down one's throat. Exploding eyeballs. And... yes, this IS a Gloom Spawn porn fic, what of it?)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written ONE crossover to date, and it was a fusion of Gravity Falls and Trollhunters, where all the characters existed in the same world and things played out quite differently for both plots as a result. A Tale of Two Trollhunters, it was called. Very niche, but I'm still quite fond of the idea. There's a SHIT ton of notes I have for the crossover that I never got around to writing... I only posted 14K of this work, but I have like... another whole 5K of work that's partially finished, just sitting around.

It's honestly one that I haven't entirely discontinued in my mind- I think it could be fun to return to one day should I ever get the inspiration or whim.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Lol YES, and it's with the person who tagged me. We had like... a series of 13th Doctor one-shots about her first episode we were working on for a while, and then life got away with us. Honestly they're still pretty good IMO.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god. Uh... I don't think I can consciously choose a favorite ship, but I CAN choose a favorite ship from each fandom I've been in:

Doctor Who- The Doctor/Clara Oswald, with a particular emphasis on queerplatonic 12/Clara.

Gravity Falls- Stanford Pines/Fiddleford McGucket

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia- The Jim/Toby/Claire trifecta

Steven Universe- Steven/Connie

Legend of Zelda- Zelda/Link (in general, but especially their BotW/TotK incarnations)

My AO3 stats signal that my most posted ships are Connverse and Zelink (3 fics each), but I do feel like spending multiple years writing in-depth Ford/Fiddleford RP, and like easily over 300K words of it, does mean that this ship is especially dear to me even IF it's not represented in my AO3 stats.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Sigh... probably Crack the Paragon. I care about that fic very deeply, but I'm so damned blocked on it and so deep into another fandom right now that I certainly can't see myself returning to it within the next five years, unless there's a really epic Steven Universe interest renaissance coming for me and half the internet soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh... when I write a super crunchy metaphoric sentence, it sure can be a mean ass, crispy banger of a sentence.

I also feel like I'm decent at establishing unique voices for characters in my dialogue when I try at it. I've been told by some that they can easily hear characters speak the lines when they read, so... I will take those compliments to the bank, I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue passages that feel oddly disjointed from the surrounding prose. I often end up sketching out bits of dialogue before I can think of good ways to link the segments together coherently, and as a result I feel like some of my dialogue-to-prose and back to dialogue segments come off as disjointed and awkward.

Also I abuse the em-dash. Em-dash my beloved. So sue me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I am only proficient in English, so for the meantime this isn't really something I'm interested in or think I could pull off successfully and respectfully.

The single exception here is that I am trying my best at describing a few signs and emphasis markers for the sign language Link uses in many of my fics. I am bending the rules a little because he is using Fantasy Sign Language and not ASL, but I think there'd naturally be a lot of visual overlap with super basic concept gestures, so I've done research for those and am having fun finding creative ways to describe his expressiveness through his hands and facial features instead of through a voice.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who! I started posting Doctor Who fanfiction on FF.net in 2011, and never looked back. Although that original account I posted on is now inaccessible to me, sadly.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have two.

One is my first fic written for Legend of Zelda... a funky lil second person POV fic called so close, so far... (so familiar...)

I just really enjoyed the writing process of this one, and feel it's one of my most unique works in style. I also think it's probably my most slept on fic of all time lol, like I wish it got more attention than it did for how much I cherish it.

The other is A Memoir of the Marks Unseen, one of the last major projects I finished for Steven Universe. This fic took me about a year and a half to write, real talk. I often get the sense that I HAD to get this one out of my head before I could truly move on from SU as an active fixation. In many ways, it's the culmination of my emotions about my own mental health recovery, all partially projected onto Steven as he goes through a different but still metaphorically relatable experience. I also like... kinda think that my writing peaked here. Lol.

I am tagging only a few people. I am tired. Yeet. Off the top of my head:

@deiliamedlini, @citrusella-flugpucker, @bahbahhh, and uhhh... one more... @michpat6

#jen rambles #tag game

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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years

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The reason aoc had no stakes is cuz even if we lost link would just take a nap and then wake up and murder ganon with a stick

Ok I recognize that this is a joke and I love you good job have a lil kiss *mwah* nice joke nice joke but also I am in MAJOR WRITING MODE which means that I am prompted to write essays on the storytelling process at the flip of a switch and buddy, pal, chum, mate, this is a major switch that has been flipped

Because it gets on my nerves, it’s one of my BIGGEST PET PEEVES of ALL TIME, I abso-fucking-lutely DESPISE, when people think that stakes is equivalent to life and death. I just hate it, it makes me seethe to no end. I could grip the clouds from the heavens, and my rage would make it rain upwards.

People who think stakes is just about winning or losing or living or dying, I will stake you, I will do violent crimes. You wanna know why those big superhero movies like Justice League and what not don’t work? It’s because it thinks that big giant death armies are meaningful stakes. You know stuff like Civil War, or hell even shows like Attack on Titan or Gravity Falls work? It’s because it’s stakes exist both externally and internally, and the consequences of actions exist beyond just living or dying or winning or losing.

Listen to me very closely. The reason Age of Calamity has no stakes, is because you don’t care about the characters. It’s not because of the timelines, or resurrections, or whatever whatever, no. It’s because you don’t care about the characters.

Now Ashshshshsh, yes you love your bird and fish husbands and wives very much ok yes I get that, I do too. BUT, BUT, when you look at this from the storytelling perspective, like thinking from the perspective of someone experiencing the story fresh for the very first time, with or without botw context. You did not care about the characters, you cared about the ending. That is why there are no stakes.

Why the fuck do you care if Teba dies? Like, sure, if Teba dies, you are sad, the character that you love is dead, you might even cry! But why do you care, what are the consequences of his death, what happens if he dies, what does he, on a character level lose?

What you’re typically supposed to do to get your audience to care, is establish a character, develop them, then give them a goal and a need to attain that goal, a good goal or motivation that affects a character both externally and internally, and then when the conflict or battle comes up, you’re left with that feeling of “oh no, I really hope this character wins, because otherwise, [insert something] happens, and I don’t want that.” That’s what stakes is, in very broad concept.

That’s why living and dying is a form of stakes, but it’s not the only one. “Oh no, this character is hurt, I really hope this character wins, because I like them, and I want them to live.” That’s you stakes. Same idea with winning and losing. “Oh no, this character is losing this volleyball match. I really hope this character wins, because they’ve worked hard to reach their goal, and I don’t want to see that go to waste.” Okay, great.

Now the PROBLEM is, those concepts are overdone to the point of extinction, like it’s arguable that the stakes of living and dying just doesn’t exist as a strong good form of stakes in media anymore. Whether by symptom of plot armour, of predictable writing, or the establishment of modern tropes and clichés, blah blah blah, you can’t solely rely on those ideas for stakes. ESPECIALLY in the realm, of video games. I don’t need to spell out the whole living and dying aspect of it right? And the winning and losing stakes goes out the window because that concept has an entirely different meaning and tone when the player is the one in control. Essentially what I’m saying here is, on a character level, you can’t rely on those ideas as a sense of stakes because it just doesn’t have meaning. But the thing is, Age of Calamity does rely on it. And it SOME aspects, it worked.

You have experience good stakes in this game before. You’ve probably done it on some crazy tough side mission or some interesting self-made quest to find yourself that last raw bird wing to finish up that upgrade. You yourself struggled, and understood the journey that you went through, the time that you invested to make yourself better (as big or small as it may be) at the game, and you eventually beat that level, or found that item. And you were genuinely relieved and happy. Whether you realized it or not, you were on the edge of your seat, intently focused on the task and “battle” at hand, you were invested in yourself, and the effects of the outcome of your struggle. That’s what good stakes does. That’s why so many videogames have impactful story telling.

But listen here, the reason you only experience those good stakes through the gameplay, is because you don’t need to put in the effort to care about yourself. You’re you! You know yourself, you played out your motivations and struggles. That all happens without the games help. So now the issue becomes, you need to emulate that same feeling for the story world and it’s characters. And Age of Calamity just puts in none of the meaningful work to get you care about the CHARACTERS on a CHARACTER LEVEL. It relies SOLEY on the work done by Breath of the Wild, with the exceptions of maybe Kohga and King Rhoam. And also Sidon is an exception in the sense that his relationship to his sister is a pretty decent stake (but tbh the bar is VERY LOW)

We’ve established how the stakes of winning or losing or living through a battle don’t have as much strength as motivations or stakes in this game. So, knowing that....Name Daruk’s motivation. Name a true and honest reason why Zelda shouldn’t die. And don’t tell me that “because it would make the other characters sad” because that is just a reaction to events (based on the characterization and writing work done by AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT GAME cause again Hwaoc doesn’t character develop for shit) being sad isn’t motivation, or stakes. Being sad is a normal human reaction to anything ever, it isn’t anything new, and by god it doesn’t inherently impact the world or story around you.

You know what would have been good stakes? If Age of Calamity developed the New Gen Champs a bit more and maybe one of them could say something like, “I feel it’s my duty to help stop the Calamity, because the fact that I time traveled here means that I have a big responsibility, and if we lose then I’m a failure in both this time and my own. So I need to step up to the plate that has been set for me” or something something. Or, and this is a big one, give ASTOR something to do (because stakes is inherently about CONFLICT and you can’t have good internal and external stakes when there is nothing to CONFLICT with the other characters) let Astor be like “This world doesn’t deserve to go on, humanity has made too many mistakes, I was abandonded as a child, the King murdered my mom, I need power to get revenge, or to revive some dead family member” blah blah blah pick one of the clichés but at least it would be SOMETHING. When motivations conflict, that’s what gets you to care about characters, because then it’s not just about living or dying, it about the effects of that death, or that loss. If this character dies, they died believing a lie, or believing they were a failure and I don’t want that. If this character is defeated, they won’t get another chance to save the people they care about, and I don’t want them living with regret. These two characters have sympathetic goals, and I can see the points that both sides have with their motivation, but I also like them so I don’t want them to die, oh no, what’s gonna happen.

If you don’t CARE about the characters, and their goals, if the only thing that’s keeping you awake at night about them living or dying is “I like them” then there is something wrong.

You didn’t finish Age of Calamity because of the characters, you didn’t finish it out of an honest desire to see these characters reach their goals. MAYBE there’s a connection you had for Zelda, but honestly compared to Breath of the Wild, it’s nothing. You finished Age of Calamity simply out of curiosity to see what happened at the end, to see what your efforts of gameplay lead up to. You had no actual character arcs to latch onto or care about, which means you had no expectations or desire to see how they would play out, no STAKES no INVESTMENT. Which means live, die, resurrect, or perma-death as you see, you’re not invested in the characters, your invested in the time you put into that media.

#hwaoc spoilers #also not to be a film nerd on zelda-sideblog but this is why Age of Ultron doesn't have the same effect as the original avengers #and this is also why the ending of gravity falls or atla are the best #and also why disney live action remakes dont work

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

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Ironwood and Cinder: The Final Word

Cinder: And that’s… checkmate.

The Final Word of the volume is Cinder’s and it is meaningful she says it to Ironwood.

As a matter of fact Ironwood and Cinder are two sides of the same coin on many levels. This is conveyed also structurally.

Volume 7 is mostly about Ironwood’s tragic spiral. We are shown him struggle with his flaw throughout the whole volume, but in the end he loses to it and becomes just as dangerous as Salem:

Oscar: Then you're as dangerous as she is, James.

Not only does volume 8 close with Cinder instead, but it also opens with her:

And it even gives us her backstory:

Why does it happen? And why is Cinder’s final line so important when it comes to her foiling with Ironwood?

GRAVITY

It is not by chance that Watts calls both Ironwood and Cinder out before the climax of respectively volume 7 (Ironwood) and volume 8 (Cinder). This is because, as stated above, volume 7 is Ironwood’s volume, while volume 8 is Cinder’s. So they both are confronted with a truth about themselves and their reaction to it influences their stories in the Atlas arc.

In a sense, even if Watts is the one dangerously hanging over an abyss... it is actually Ironwood and Cinder who are on the brink. They are deciding Watts’s survival, but they are also deciding their own destiny.

They are choosing if to fall because of gravity or if to fly in the sky victorious.

At the same time, the two scenes with Watts show how Cinder and Ironwood are both similar and opposites.

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

Ironwood and Cinder are nothing, but two products of Atlas’s society.

Ironwood was born at the very top:

Watts: You just stood atop it and called yourself a giant!

Cinder existed at the very bottom:

Watts: You think you're entitled to everything just because you've suffered, but suffering isn't enough! You can't just be strong, you have to be smart! You can't just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been, is a BLOODY MIGRAINE!

Watts is in the middle and he represents the worst traits of both.

He wants everything, just like Cinder:

Ironwood: I gave you everything you could have wanted!

But differently from Cinder it was no true he had nothing. He was successful, had food, clothes and respect. Still, he was never satisfied and ended up disgracing himself in the search of something more.

He also disregards feelings in favor of rationality, just like Ironwood:

Watts: Our tin soldier’s heart has cost him his mind.

And he sees people under him as inherently inferior:

Watts: Yes, yes, please keep your posse in check.

This is why his death is fitting:

Cinder: I merely added more flames to the fires of Atlas.

He burns with Atlas aka the city he wants to destroy, but also a symbol of who he is deep down.

What is more, his death happens specifically because he blindly follows his wishes:

Watts: Oh, believe me, this is everything I've ever wanted.

And because he is outsmarted and manipulated by Cinder:

Cinder: You deserve this, Arthur. We'll be back.

He is proud of his genius and rationality, but in the end he dies because of his feelings of pettiness.

In short, Watts, Cinder and Ironwood represent three social classes of Atlas and how the system corrupts people at every level. In general, all three want to be at the very top, but disreguard and mistreat the ones below.

-This is why Ironwood seeks control even in situations where he is not in charge, like the Vytal Festival. He also challenges Ozpin’s authority and leadership because he is not used not to be the one deciding. At the same time, he is shown ready to discard Mantle in multiple occasions.

-This is why Watts can call out Ironwood’s arrogance without seeing he is exactly the same as him.

-Finally, this is why Cinder lashes out at people she sees as Atlas elites (the Schnees, Ironwood, Watts), but treats those below her just like she was treated:

Emerald: We don't need him! Everything was going fine! (a slap is heard, and she cries out in pain)

Cinder: Do not mistake your place.

Mercury: Oh yeah? Tell that to--

Cinder: Quiet.

THE ENEMIES OF TRUST

Both Ironwood and Cinder’s left arms are artificial. Ironwood’s is mechanical, while Cinder’s is Grimm.

Their respective arms convey opposite approaches to things.

On a more general level, they are respectively linked to Creation (Ironwood’s mechanical arm) and to Destruction (Cinder’s Grimm arm). As a matter of fact a robotic arm is a human creation, while Grimms are nothing, but the symbol of destruction.

On a personal level, their arms hint at the two characters’ opposite personalities.

Ironwood’s arm can’t feel pain.

Cinder’s is instead linked to pain and feelings in different ways:

Raven: Aura can't protect your arm, it's Grimm.

Salem: You chose to disobey my specific instructions just to fail again.

Cinder: She’s back…

Cinder feels great pain whenever her Shadow Hand is cut because she can’t protect it with aura. At the same time, it is used by Salem to torture her. Finally, it links her to Salem to the point that she knows when her Master is back.

In other words, Cinder’s arm lets her feel more, while Ironwood’s lets him feel less.

This difference is mirrored by both the ways Ironwood and Cinder respectively attack Watts and by their semblances:

Ironwood’s Mettle lets Ironwood suppress his own feelings, so that he can pursue any objective, no matter how cruel or immoral it is. It makes him “superhuman”, but in a very negative sense.

Cinder’s Scorching Caress represents Cinder’s explosive emotions. It is a form of self-expression, which is both destructive and self-destructive.

Ironwood’s semblance is about repression, while Cinder’s is about lashing out.

Similarly, Ironwood goes after Watts at the cost of his arm and he ignores the pain he feels:

Watts: I wouldn't do that if I were you. I mean, unless you're hoping to add more metal to that body of yours.

Cinder instead goes after Watts to vent her anger:

Cinder: What do you mean, she'll destroy herself? How am I supposed to take her power if she's dead?!

Both are extremes and both are wrong, as Winter explains:

Winter: But yes Penny, we must still acknowledge our personal feelings, wrestle with them. It ensures us that we’re on the right path. It’s what makes us human.

Ironwood and Cinder should aknowledge their own feelings not to be consumed by them. It is also the only way for them to truly be humans, not machines or monsters, but simply people.

Both characters almost succeed just before the climax of their respective volumes.

Ironwood tries to open up to others:

And Cinder shows vulnerability:

However, none of them is able to capitalize on this chance for development. This is ironically because of each other:

Cinder messes with Ironwood’s insecurities, while Ironwood’s ultimatum gives Cinder the perfect chance to ignore hers.

The result is that Ironwood goes back to control, while Cinder goes back to manipulation. Both do so because they are unable to trust.

Interestingly, they take after their respective mentors in this.

Ironwood takes after Ozpin:

Ironwood: Did you really think you were the only one who got to work on a new plan after Beacon? WIth Ozpin gone, I needed my own team of people I could trust.

Oscar: General? Earlier, you asked for my advice.

Ironwood: I wanted Ozpin's advice.

Oscar: And his advice probably would've been to keep your secrets.

Cinder takes after Salem:

Salem: When I chose you as my vessel for the Maidens, I put my trust in you. So, I trust that you wouldn’t possibly return to me empty-handed.

Ironwood’s whole struggle in volume 7 is his search for a “new approach”. He wants to be like Ozpin, but better. This is why he founds his own group, but wants to trust the world with the truth about Salem. However, he confuses trust with control.

Cinder instead wants to become just like Salem and suffers when she sees she is not. This is why she collects assets, just like her master. This is also why she does not trust anyone, but manipulates others.

That said, what is the difference between Ironwood’s control and Cinder’s manipulation? It has once again to do with feelings.

Ironwood’s attempt to manipulate others is about suppressing feelings. He uses Atlas’s military hierarchy and social structures to ask for his subordinates’ blind loyalty.

Cinder’s method to control people lies instead in making use of others’ feelings. She uses both wishes and fears to her advantage.

In short, control and manipulation are nothing, but the same inability to trust declined in opposite ways. They are both “enemies of trust”.

This is why both Ironwood and Cinder find a strong enemy and a foil in the character, who embodies friendship in these volumes:

Deep down, Ironwood and Cinder not trusting others is because they fear betrayal:

Cinder: I won’t have to run now.

Rhodes: That’s all you’ll ever do.

Ironwood: I've chased a lot of shadows over the years, always expecting betrayal. But never once did I think it would ever come from you.

However, Penny too is betrayed and mistreated by others:

Penny: I do not like it when friends fight.

Ruby: I know. Yang and I may not agree on how best to save Mantle but-

Penny: No. I mean Winter. The general. They were our friends. But then the Ace Ops attacked you. And the general, he said people were going to die, because of me.

However, she does not give up on the ideal of a genuine bond:

Attached but not By strings

Still, if Penny is a positive foil to both Ironwood and Cinder, why does she die?

RISK

Weiss: Trust is a risk.

Yang: Ruby, they’re not called sure things, they’re called risks.

These two lines taken together are why at the end of volume 8 Penny dies, our heroes fall and the manipulative Cinder wins.

It happens to show the main theme of the two Atlas volumes. Trust is not a “sure thing”. It is a risk and it does not always work. Still, it is necessary to trust as it is necessary to take risks:

Yang: You were being optimistic. Look, blind optimism isn’t great, but no optimism means we already lost. We need hope. We need to take risks.

Giving up on trust and risks means giving up on hope. It means to give in to fear.

Still, this does not mean your trust will always be paid back. And it does not mean that the risks you take will always work, even if you come up with a wonderful plan:

Cinder: I knew your plan would be bold, but I never could have predicted all of this...

Sometimes people will betray you:

Sometimes your risk will end up in a fall:

However, it is still worth to trust, even when you have no guarantee it will work:

And sometimes It is even worth to risk the fall because it may lead to people being saved:

This same idea is conveyed also through Penny’s final choice:

Penny: Trust me.

Winter: Thank you for trusting me with this.

Penny dies tragically, but she still manages to pass the Maiden’s power to a person she trusts.

This is especially meaningful because the Winter Maiden power, just like Penny herself, has been subjected to both control and manipulation.

Ironwood does all he can to make sure the power ends up to Winter. At the same time, he is the one most responsible for Penny feeling as nothing, but a robot:

Ironwood: As the official report stated, that footage was doctored. Penny is completely under my control.

Cinder tries to steal the power three times. She also manipulates Penny’s feelings towards her friends:

Cinder: I was hoping your friends would be here. But it looks like they left you to do all the work. You’re just a tool to be used!

In the end, Ironwood treating Penny as a machine (control) and Cinder using Penny’s love for her friends against her (manipulation) are among the psychological factors that lead Penny to be mortally wounded by Cinder.

Still, while dying Penny negates both Ironwood and Cinder and frees the power and herself from both control and manipulation.

The fact she chooses Winter works well to illustrate this.

Winter is the person Ironwood wants as the next Maiden. However, Winter becomes a Maiden not because of Ironwood’s control, but because of Penny’s trust:

Ironwood: So… the destiny I chose for you has arrived.

Winter: You chose nothing. This...was a gift.

Winter is a Schnee, so she represents both what Cinder hates and what she herself wants to be:

Cinder to Winter: You Atlas elites are all the same! You think hoarding power means you’ll have it forever, but it just makes the rest of us hungrier.

Winter is a symbol of Atlas and so she is a reminder to Cinder that Atlas is not really destroyed:

Robyn: What do you think a kingdom is? The people, or just the chunk of land they live on?

Just like Cinder’s past isn’t.

WORTHY

Cinder wants to be worthy. Ironwood wants to be a hero.

Deep down, Ironwood and Cinder want the same thing. They want to be above others. They want to be more than humans.

However, they go at it in opposite ways:

Ironwood: I have sacrificed everything!

Cinder: I want it all...

Ironwood thinks that victory lies in sacrificing everything, while Cinder sees it as taking it all.

These opposite viewpoints mirror their respective social stances.

Ironwood can say he wants to sacrifice everything because he has everything.

Cinder thinks happiness lies in everything because she has nothing:

Cinder: You’re right. Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

In the end, Ironwood and Cinder are each other’s true enemies, but they fail to see it and lash out against the wrong people:

Ironwood and Cinder’s respective fight against Winter and Weiss is exactly this.

Ironwood fights a Maiden he sees as an enemy of Atlas, while another Maiden is attacking the people he swore to protect.

Cinder lashes out at Weiss because of her origins, while Weiss has decided to leave her status and money behind to make the right thing.

Still, Ironwood and Cinder are too hypocritical to see the truth. This is why they attack people, who could have helped them, if they were given the chance.

This is also why they receive a warning:

Winter: No, you have sacrificed everyone else!

Winter: You… are going to pay… for everything you’ve done!

Ironwood claims he is ready to sacrifice everything. However, he never sacrifices himself:

In the end, he is unable to sacrifice his life to fight Salem.

Let’s highlight he has nothing to lose by this point. He is falling with Atlas anyway. In his final moments, he is given the chance to prove true to his words:

I would die Without regret, I’d offer up my life With zero reservations I would fly Into the sun If that would keep our dream alive

Instead, he gives up. He has been shooting his allies until the very end, but freezes in front of his enemy.

Cinder thinks she is closer to her final victory, but in the end she has accomplished nothing of what she truly wants.

She wants to kill RWBY, but they are alive. She wants the Maiden powers, but she fails.

At the same time, Cinder is still far away from what she truly needs:

Cinder: You have everything you need?

Watts: Oh, believe me, this is everything I've ever wanted.

She is given a perfect mirror of herself in Watts. Still, instead of seeing it, Cinder uses his flaw, which is her same flaw, to kill him. Watts’ wants lead to his death and the same thing might happen to Cinder if she does not stop herself in time.

Finally, there is this:

Salem: This game is not yours to win, Cinder, it’s mine. Just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn, does not make you a player. Everything is already in motion. All you need concern yourself with is your ability to act when I tell you to.

Ironwood and Cinder share a chess motif.

Ironwood thinks of himself as a player and specifically as Salem’s opponent.

Cinder is instead told she is no player.

However, in the end, Ironwood becomes a mere pawn to the point that all Watts has to do is to open his cell to be sure he is going to unwillingly aid in Cinder’s plan.

What is more, he is so fixated on Salem that he fails to aknowledge the people below him. This is why his true opponent is a slave that Atlas exploited.

Cinder frames herself as a player instead. She is the one who truly makes the first move against Ironwood and ultimately she is the one who defeats both him and our protagonists. Finally, she is the one who calls checkmate.

Still, is she really playing her own game?

In the end, the one who gets what she wants is not Cinder, but Salem:

And all she has to do to obtain it is one small move:

Salem: And I’ve realized, it’s all my fault. You’ve fought your whole life unwaveringly for what you want and here I am holding you back instead of lifting you up.

While Cinder is once again letting her talent be exploited by those above her. She is choosing to be Salem’s Queen instead than a player of her own life.

She is the Black Queen defeating the White King, but nothing more.

#rwby #rwby meta #rwby vol8 #rwby vol7 #cinder fall #james ironwood #my meta

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stonesparrow · 3 years

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Bird’s Writing Ideas

Summaries of some of the dcst AUs and other fanfic concepts I’m “working on,” or at least just have a google doc going for. Feel free to send me an ask if you want to hear more about any of them :P

No Stone Wars AU

Terrible name, yes, so sometimes I call this the “Delayed Lions AU.” I am not good at titling things. It’s an AU where Yuzuriha was successfully brought back to camp and revived instead of Tsukasa, and then the lions show up. Working together though, our heroes do manage to scare the lions away for the time being, and Tsukasa doesn’t end up getting revived until way later. Essentially it’s an excuse for me to write a civilization-building story where Senku carries out his plans as he intended before the whole Stone Wars shenanigans happened. Senku does still find Ishigami Village (he has to go to Hakone eventually to collect sulfur) but he’s not nearly as concerned about, ya know, getting murdered. Could be really boring for some people, but like I’ve said I LOVE the civilization building parts of DCST and this is my jam. I did way too much math for this one.

Fem! Senku AU

Exactly what it says on the tin. Tentatively titled “Ishigami Senku: Girl Genius.” I’ve left it ambiguous so far whether Senku is cis or trans, but either way this one is great for exploring how Senku’s decisions and character (and those around her) might be affected by Senku being a girl. For instance, this Senku is more used to being underestimated and patronized than canon Senku and has a slight compulsion to wanting to prove herself, which is in conflict with her desire to surge ahead without caring about what others think of her. Her hair also obeys gravity a little more and she wears it in a ponytail, and she’s a little closer to Yuzuriha than in canon (though Taiju is still her oldest and best friend). I’ve had a few problems with hashing out the plot for this one since I don’t want it to perfectly match canon but I also want it to keep some key story nodes, and the butterfly effect makes it tend to veer wildly off into various directions.

Mermaids AU(s)

I have like, three of these because I couldn’t decide how to go about it and just wanted to write something with mermaids. I like fantasy.

Senku and Taiju are young mermen living in an underwater kingdom, and Senku’s fascinated with the above world, spending his days studying humans and their inventions and trying to come up with something that could allow him to go on land. But then one day something turns the whole Sea Kingdom into stone statues, and it’s up to Senku to venture out into the human world in search of a cure. Lower on my interest scale because most of the story wouldn’t take place among the mermaids.

Inspired by ao3 user Luki’s story Flock where soon after revival petrified humans sprout wings. In this case though, Senku realizes that he’s somehow becoming partially aquatic, only instead of being full on mermanified he ends up more like...mermaids in the Sims 3? Where he has to stay constantly hydrated to survive and his legs turn into a tail when submerged in water. I like this one a lot, actually.

H2O: Just Add Water AU. There was this Australian tv show I used to watch at my friend’s house when we were like...seven, about these three girls who after a strange encounter realized that ten seconds after coming in contact with water, they would turn into mermaids. I’ve tweaked that concept a lot but basically this AU is Senku, Taiju, and Yuzuriha taking the place of the three main characters, and also they’re in Japan instead of Australia, for obvious reasons.

A Single Act of Kindness

AU where 12 year old Tsukasa is rescued from the old man on the beach by another, friendlier old man, one with grey hair with dark tips and red eyes. That’s it, that’s the whole concept. Probably gonna be a oneshot.

Future/Next Gen

Not an AU, but basically a bunch of (very theoretical and self indulgent) ideas I have about the Kingdom of Science post defeating Why-man. All of them stem from a concept I had where Senku finds a protege in Taiju and Yuzuriha’s third oldest child, a girl named Yurika (which is a legitimate girls’ name but Senku was the one who named her and meant it to sound like Eureka! on purpose, as if saying he wished for her to have a life full of discovery. He’ll deny thinking that much about it though). Most of the stories I have in this concept are about Yurika’s teen years, with Senku in his forties.

Suika in Wonderland

Just a funny idea I had where Suika falls asleep to Ukyo telling her an “old British children’s story,” one summer afternoon and finds herself in a strange world where a lot of the bizarre individuals she meets look oddly like some of her friends.

ATLA AU

Recently I did a little speculative thing for this in this post, and I liked it enough to write it down into a more fully fleshed out concept. Story 1 is going to be about Ryusui growing up in the Northern Water Tribe and him meeting the Gaang when they arrive at the end of Book 1, while Story 2 is going to be about Senku and his friends uncovering the Dai Li conspiracy in Ba Sing Se and teaming up with the Gang when they arrive in Book 2. Story 3...well I’d like to do something regarding the Fire Nation characters, so maybe something to do with Amaryllis.

#dcst #dr stone #dr. stone #dcst au #aus #alternate universes #writing ideas #my writing ideas #dcst spoilers #dunno what to tag yet

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fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-liar · 3 years

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I posted 700 times in 2021

100 posts created (14%)

600 posts reblogged (86%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 6.0 posts.

I added 155 tags in 2021

#community nbc - 25 posts

#community - 22 posts

#six seasons and a movie - 21 posts

#but i love queue more than words can say - 16 posts

#six seasons and a goddamn movie - 14 posts

#jeff winger - 12 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 12 posts

#gravity falls - 11 posts

#atla - 11 posts

#abed nadir - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#(cough cough that scene towards the end where jeff is arguing that britta is crazy because she doesn't want to try to succeed because she…

My Top Posts in 2021

Okay, hear me out:

They have the same energy.

45 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 04:46:28 GMT

Why do all the Desi people on this website know each other I feel like I broke into a very exclusive club and everyone's judging me while I dance

49 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 22:05:16 GMT

@Community fans, I just thought of this while eating dinner, and it was too cool (at least, IMO) not to share. Have fun with it!

Okay, so, remember the brightest timeline from “Remedial Chaos Theory?” This episode made me wanna find a group of strangers to be a found family with and solidly cemented found family as my favorite trope in all of media

Well, obviously, the lesson to take away from that is that Jeff can (and does) often go overboard in shutting others down. Kinda like an anchor - he can tell the study group when to stop and reign them in, but sometimes he’s too intense and ends up dragging everyone down instead.

Some people even jokingly say that this is the best timeline because Pierce doesn’t get to tell his Eartha Kitt story. And he even has the perfect segue to do so - whereas in the other timelines, Pierce has to kinda shoehorn the story in there, he doesn’t have to for this one because Troy literally says that Jeff sucks harder than an airplane bathroom. And yet he chooses not to tell the story!

And while I believe that this timeline is the best because of those reasons, I also believe there’s one major player being overlooked: Britta.

Britta is a buzzkill. The show has established this (though personally, I don’t see it) continuously, ever since the season 1 episode “The Science of Illusion.” (leading to one of the most tragically funny lines in the entire series for me - “Knock knock! Who’s there, cancer? Oh, good, come on in, i ThoUGht iT wAS bRitTA”)

But a surprising thing to note is that the best timeline, this timeline, is the only one where Britta is allowed to be herself. Britta, the notorious buzzkill, actually starts the fun. Britta, who is constantly dunked on in the show for ruining things, is the one who lifts the group’s spirits.

I guess one could take that to mean Britta is, actually, the heart of the show, to paraphrase from Jeff in “The Science of Illusion.”

And this is what makes me so upset about the Britta haters in the fandom and the way her character was treated by others in the show. Britta brings so MUCH (the group was basically/indirectly formed because of her) but she still gets so dunked on by the rest of the group and a (significant minority) of the fandom.

But I guess that’s also what I admire about Britta. Her determination. She gets hated on day after day after day (thanks for that, Dan Harmon & co.; look, I love the guy’s writing, but...like...he’s not perfect), but she still comes back, day after day after day, ready to love and wanting, at her core, to be a good person. She could have become so jaded and cynical after being constantly hated on, but she still wants to do right by her friends and be good.

Britta has her flaws, sure, but people often forget that Britta brings a lot to the group because she’s low-hanging fruit to laugh at. And I think the fandom needs to hear this every once in a while: Britta is more than a flawed, hypocritical soapbox Sadie. Britta is a kickass role model, overcompensating for what she lacks with her heart.

I know Britta would hate this comparison, but I’ve always felt that Britta is the Cinderella of Community - a kind and caring female badass trapped in a place that doesn’t (always) appreciate her worth, even though she’s making said place so much better. And “Remedial Chaos Theory” is a good reminder of that.

50 notes • Posted 2021-01-24 04:01:55 GMT

Dr. Drakken ran so Doofenshmirtz could fly

54 notes • Posted 2021-01-20 03:47:13 GMT

If your partner doesn’t wanna name the children Toby and Roby, F it. Throw the whole relationship away, it’s not worth it

56 notes • Posted 2021-01-22 18:48:38 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #kinda embarrassed at the ratio of original posts to reblogs #but it is what it is #the way all of my top tags are about community wow #community nbc #six seasons and a movie

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gregorygrim · 3 years

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Dragon Prince Hot Takes

!!! Full Spoiler For “The Dragon Prince” Seasons 1-3!!!

So I finally got around to watching The Dragon Prince. Timely, I know, but better late than never i guess. I’m not completely caught up yet as I only got as far as S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” in this first sitting. Considering I haven’t binged any series in almost two years, I think that’s pretty respectable. This means I won’t discuss the last few episodes here, except for a couple of things I was unfortunately spoiled for already, hence full spoilers.

These are basically my first thoughts and opinions after the binge and a good night’s sleep. It’s gonna be a lot so if you don’t care or don’t want spoilers…

TL;DR: 7½/10. Generally enjoyable, there are some aspects I’m not exactly fan of, but no dealbreakers

Firstly to everyone who told me that this was the new ATLA: you all need to rewatch Avatar stat! Like seriously. There are definitely parallels and given the cast and crew I think that’s what they were going for too (which is why I think it’s fair to compare the two), but still, no.

Secondly I love most of the worldbuilding and love that the series at least tries to give it to us in a bit of a non-linear fashion, even if it is kind of clumsy at times. I know some people are put off by expository dialogue and flashbacks, but I’m an epic fantasy nerd, I need that sweet, sweet lore to live as much as you mortals need food.

I like that there was clearly an effort made to integrate the worldbuilding in more subtle ways. For example you may initially find it kind of weird that all these different human ethnicities are existing perfectly integrated in what looks like a medieval society, until you remember from the opening monologue that the Human Kingdoms are the result of a massive diaspora following the human exodus from Xadia, so obviously people got all mixed up everywhere. It’s representation with an excellent in-world reason and that just brings me joy.

I also love the magic system(s) even though we haven’t really gone into that just yet. it really feels like there was a genuine effort made to create underlying mechanics for the magic rather than just making each spell a vaguely elemental themed ability. I really hope we’ll dive deeper into that in coming seasons.

I also like the little nods to other works of fantasy: Ezran’s ability to talk with animals is a reference to Tolkien’s world where some royal bloodlines had the ability to speak with animals, specifically birds; Primal Magic and its spells being cast with Ancient Draconic runes and words might be reminiscent of the Ancient Language from the Inheritance Cycle etc.

Thirdly the main cast is great. Callum, Ezran and Rayla are all interesting and relatable characters in their own right and as a group. I’m not going into each of them individually here, but while I think the series as a whole falls short of ATLA, as protagonist parties go I dare say this one is nearly on nearly on par with the gAang.¹

And yes, I love Bait, which I really did not expect following the first few episodes. I love his weird pug-toad-chameleon design, I love that he works like a flashbang whenever somebody says a quote from Scarface (I wish they hadn’t dropped that later on) and I love how done he is with everything and everyone at all times. I’ve only had him for 25 episodes, but if anything happened to him I would kill all of my followers and then myself.

On top of that, and speaking as someone who god knows is really not into shipping, I love Rayla and Callum’s relationship. It’s believable, it’s refreshing and it brings out the best in both characters without changing basically anything about them. Just two good friends who fell in love. A++, maybe even S tier.

Unfortunately though I can’t sing the same kind of praises about the villains. None of them are terrible (as in terribly written, most of them are pretty awful people), but with one exception they just don’t stand up to the protagonists in quality.

I could simply not take Viren seriously. Even now that is probably the single most powerful magic user in the world, he just has such strong Karen energy, every time he finishes a speech I am overcome with the urge to say “Sir, this is a Wendy’s” and it does not help the mood. I’m not even sure why. It might’ve been the voice because the guy who did Viren (Jason Simpson) also does a lot of kinda slimy characters in various anime dubs, it might be that over-the-top walking stick, idk.

What I’m saying is that as a primary antagonist he simply did not work for me. Which is doubly a shame because this kind of tarnishes the real “Big Bad” of this story by proxy. Aaravos, even as an invisible ghost, with his voice coming out of a caterpillar and next to no info on his backstory, has more style and gravity than all the human antagonists combined. It helps that he is by far the best designed character and Erik Dellums has the voice of a young god, but I’d argue even without that unfair advantage he has the potential to be a top tier villain. While he is stuck as Viren’s “little bug-pal” though he is just being dragged down.

(I’m aware that as of the final episode the caterpillar familiar is undergoing metamorphosis, probably to create a new body for Aaravos’ spirit to inhabit outside of the magic mirror, so I’m definitely hyped for more of him in the coming seasons.)

As for Soren and Claudia, I’ve got mixed feelings. This was one more aspect of the show that a lot of people compared to Avatar and while I see the parallels to Zuko & Azula, they are still very different, at least where Claudia is concerned. I’d also just like to mention that a lot of people told me that they thought the direction in which their storylines went were really surprising and I can’t disagree more. I predicted that Soren would defect to the protagonists on episode 5 right after Viren told him to kill the princes and I knew Claudia was going to stick with her father from episode 12 onward. My point is, it didn’t feel like some kind of plot twist, the way some people made it out to be, and which I don’t think was the intent.

I definitely got the sense that Soren was at least a Zuko-type character, though still not a Zuko clone, and as with Zuko I was consistently able to empathise and sympathise with him and his predicaments. I also appreciated that his dilemma is the result of his convictions and not him being kind of dense, which would’ve been all to easy and probably would’ve ruined his character for me. As it stands he is extremely milktoast, but perfectly functional for his purpose in the story and I can definitely see him evolving further and getting more interesting as we go on.

Claudia is where it gets complicated. Again, I can see the Azula parallels. But unlike that character, who is her father’s animal 110%, Claudia doesn’t strike me as a victim of Viren’s manipulation the way Soren undoubtably is. The way she talks about and uses Dark Magic, how she talks down to Soren and how even Viren finds it difficult to communicate with her, tells me as an audience member that she is an independent person. Which tells me that the cruelty and enthusiasm for causing harm she regularly displays is her own will. And that was before she straight up leads Callum on to manipulate him.

On the other hand I can absolutely relate to her devotion to her family, her big sister role (even though she is younger than Soren) and the way both the separation of her parents before the story and Soren’s injury in episode 16 must’ve affected her because of this. I know that, if my brother had become paralysed from the neck down and I knew a way to heal him, I would not have hesitated to kill that fawn either. Then again her relationship with her father is very different from parental relationships I am familiar with, so I can’t really say I see why she is so devoted to him, other than she promised her mother to stay with him years ago? ¯\(o_Ō)/¯

So basically Claudia falls into an emotional grey space for me. I can’t really tell how to feel about her either way and I’ll just have to see where she goes from here, which, while fine, isn’t necessarily great for an end of season cliffhanger imo.

Seeing as I’ve already talked about some of the show’s shortcomings, I think it’s time to dive into some of the what I would consider flaws.

Firstly this show needed at least 12 episode seasons. I have never made a secret out of my dislike for the modern short seasons and while I recognise that in the current climate in the industry giving everything full 25 episode seasons isn’t really doable, the pacing of this show, especially for the first season is just outright bad at times. It works as of the second season, but the first season alternately feels like it’s either rushing through or crawling along the whole way through.

The believability of Rayla’s and the princes’ relationship really suffers from this the most. It comes a bit out of nowhere on the boat ride and is then taken for granted way to quickly. Like Callum, seriously, this girl tried to kill you and your brother not even a day ago and you are currently cut off from all allies you have ever had until now. A little skepticism isn’t misplaced here. I also wold’ve liked if we’d just gotten a bit more of a sense of movement with the characters. I get that this is not the kind of show where we can just make an entire episode about the characters travelling and camping, intercut with plots centred around a more expansive supporting cast, but still I really would’ve preferred if Xadia didn’t feel quite so around the corner.

Another issue is with setup and payoff, which I think is partially a consequence of the pacing as well. A lot of smaller plot points are set up within the same episode as the payoff just wreak havoc on the narrative structure. A good example is the episode where they ride down the river in a boat and Bait tires to go into the water, but is saved by Ezran, who then explains the story behind Glowtoads and how they are pefect bait for large water predators. Then Bait falls into the water and is attacked by a massive water monster. This happens within five minutes of one episode and never comes up again. To me that looks like sign of rushed editing, which is probably not entirely the crew’s fault, given that they are on a schedule from Netflix, but it’s still a point of critique.

It unfortunately also manifests in the occasional line of horribly forced dialogue, often for things we can literally see happening on screen. Again, this is mostly the case in the earlier episodes, but it never completely goes away.

Finally, and this is where i get into serious issues that made me want to write this, we gotta talk about representation in this show.

First: disabled representation, meaning Amaya. Why is Amaya deaf? Because it’s good to have disabled representation.

Why is Amaya deaf and a high-ranking military officer? Because they didn’t think it through.

I know this may be a contentious opinion, but it is my belief that the purpose of representation, particularly of disabilities characters may suffer from, in fiction is to, y’know, represent people as they are in life. That includes especially the struggles they face and have to overcome, sometimes their whole life. This is not just me talking out of my ass either. A couple years ago I discussed this with several people that are disabled, specifically blind or otherwise severely visually impaired, in a different context obviously, and the general consensus was that it’s better to have representation that shows their life and their abilities as they are, rather than how they might wish they could be.

A mute or deaf person cannot be a medieval fantasy army general, no matter how good they might be in melee combat or who’s sister they are, because at the end of the day, they’re not able to give commands while they are holding a sword and shield. That such a massive logical oversight, especially in comparison to the extremely well done example of representation I mentioned above, and has so little impact on the plot that it leads me to believe, this aspect of Amaya’s character was tacked on in the last minute without being given any thought for the sole reason of the story having a disabled person in it. All this does is necessitate the existence of two otherwise entirely unnecessary characters, Gren and Kazi, both of which achieve nothing, aside from sometimes being literal set dressing.

That is where representation ends and tokenism begins.

And unfortunately this generally lacklustre attitude also extends to the LGBT+ representation on the show.

As of S3E7 “Hearts of Cinder” we have had two onscreen gay couples on the show (onscreen in the sense that both partners were onscreen and they were somehow confirmed to be in a relationship on the show). One of these, the queens of Duren, literally die in the same flashback they are introduced in, which incidentally also features them invading a foreign nation to poach a rare animal and subsequently starting the conflict at the series’ core. Not a great look.

Aside from serving as a tragic backstory for their daughter, the most impact they had on my viewing experience was that they made wonder how the fuck royal succession works in Duren. (People who know me are rolling their eyes right now because I’m bringing anarchism into this Dragon Prince review, but I’m telling you, this why fantasy monarchies aren’t compatible with LGBT+ politics in the same setting. Dynastic governments are inherently bigoted, you can’t have it both ways.)

The other couple are Runaan and Ethari, Rayla’s caretakers, although if I’m being honest you wouldn’t be able tell based on Runaan’s treatment of Rayla in the first episode. By the time we actually meet Ethari and find out about their relationship with Rayla, Runaan is suffering “a fate worse than death” (direct quote from the show) trapped in a gold coin.

I mean come on. That’s about as “technically not ‘bury your gays’” as it gets.

I think I need to reiterate here that my point is not that this show or its creators are somehow malicious. As i stated in the TL;DR: I don’t think this is a dealbreaker for liking this show. But it does demonstrate that they are prone to slipping to some potentially harmful tropes and this needs to be criticised and pointed out to them.

In conclusion, I really love this show. It’s not ATLA, it never will be, nothing else will ever be ATLA no matter how badly (and terribly) Netflix tries. But it does and should not have to be.

What it has to do though is improve. A lot of the building blocks are already there, such as Aaravos or Claudia’s development, Callum’s father, the origin of Ezran’s ability, the purpose of the “Key of Aaravos”, the true fate of King Harrow (we all know his soul is in the bird, right?) etc. Some things like the treatment of Amaya’s disability unfortunately won’t be fixable as far as I can tell, but if they at least manage to fix the gay representation I can make my peace with that.

¹ I know I said I wouldn’t go into each of the characters individually, but a) you should never trust a stranger on the internet and b) I really want to talk a bit about Callum. Specifically the “mystery” of why the hell he is connected to the Sky Primal. I write “mystery” because I think it’s fairly obvious from whence this talent came: there is only one humanoid species we know of with innate access to the Sky Arcanum and one of Callum’s parent’s is unidentified, presumed dead. 2+2=4. Callum’s father was a Skywing Elf. That’s why he recognised Nyx’s boomerang weapon. He remembered one like it either from his very early childhood (remember that he has photographic memory) or Sarai kept one and he found it at some point.

On top of that the name “Callum” or at least the pronunciation is clearly derived from Latin “caelum” meaning “sky” or “weather” and I already mentioned that Ancient Draconic is just bad Latin. It’s not very subtle. Unless they pull a complete 180 concerning the lore about Primal Magic he’s definitely going to be a half-elf, which would also just so happen to make him the perfect mediator between the Human Kingdoms and Xadia. Hmm, it’s almost as if they are planning ahead.

My question: How the fuck did that happen? Or rather: how did that fuck happen? I don’t think even Harrow knew or he probably would’ve a) paid more attention when Sarai advised against poaching the Magma Titan, because obviously she’s gotten around Xadia more than him, if y’know what i’m sayin’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) or at least b) put it in his final letter to Callum. Unfortunately we know basically nothing about Sarai except that she was a soldier alongside Amaya and already had Callum before marrying Harrow. So does Amaya know? This is probably the most interesting plot thread in the whole story and as far as my friends told me it’s not going to be touched on anymore in the last two episodes than it already has thus far, which is basically not at all.

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nat-20s · 4 years

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MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons. Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car. Satan is (sort of) fought.

Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large: Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad, Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̚̕͘̕͠��̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚͜͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy- Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

#long post #if you didn't want this blame of-mice-and-mentality for enabling me posting #supernatural

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twixtandshout · 3 years

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Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.

...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.

How many works do you have on AO3?

71!

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

...306,834. Jesus.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).

Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen.

I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.

2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”

3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.

4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.

5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.

Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;

Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.

Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist

I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.

As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.

#answerin' stuff

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azure-firecracker · 3 years

Note

Which SPOP characters do you think would thrive in other cartoon worlds, and why?

AMAZING QUESTION!!

Okay so I’m just gonna go through the characters and say where I think they would fit best.

Adora: ATLA-verse. She would fit right in with all the other super powered children with magical destinies. They’d really understand her in a way that not a lot of people can.

Catra: Also the ATLA-verse, mostly because they’re fighting a war there, and Catra is REALLY GOOD at fighting wars. When she was evil, she was SO good at her job. She’d be such a good strategist, maybe she could even go toe to toe with Azula (maybe.) Plus Adora’s there, so that’s where she’d go.

Glimmer: This is a really tricky one. I’m gonna say ATLA-verse for her too, because of her ginormous power and her bravery. She’d definitely be a great asset to the group. Steven Universe-verse is another option, but friends are really important to Glimmer, and I feel like she’d have a better time connecting with the ATLA crew.

Bow: The Boiling Isles! He’d just really like the friendly vibes from Luz and her friends, and also he’d stare at everything and be the giant eyes emoji the whole time he was there and he’d love it.

Angella: Steven Universe universe! This is where all the supportive mother figures live, so it’s got to be there. Also any other cartoon universe would be incredibly chaotic and that’s just not her thing.

Perfuma: DEFINITELY the Steven Universe verse. She and Pearl would get along really well, I can just see it. She’d love Steven too. They literally sang a song called « Peace and Love on the Planet Earth » she belongs there.

Mermista: Definitely Gravity Falls. She’s the only person who could look all the terrifying weirdness in the eye and then just kick everyone’s ass without even blinking.

Sea Hawk: Gravity Falls! There’s lots of craziness and adventure over there.

Scorpia: She’d love it anywhere, but the Steven Universe crew are huggers, so she’d probably end up there. They would totally appreciate her and give her the love she deserves. Also Perfuma and Entrapta would be with her.

Entrapta: DEFINITELY the Steven Universe universe. Have you SEEN all of the tech there? She would be in absolute heaven.

Frosta: Gravity Falls, for sure. She would just throw herself at every weird monster that came her way, and she would love it.

Spinnerella: She’d probably love the Boiling Isles because she’s so powerful and loves children, but she also might pick the Steven Universe world, because she’s a Hufflepuff and her wife is there.

Netossa: She’s a fighter and a strategist, but also wholesome and a mom figure, so I guess Steven Universe for her. Best of both worlds.

Double Trouble: The Boiling Isles! Seriously, can anyone else picture them guest starring in a TOH episode? Because I totally can.

#ask the theater nerd #cartoon asks

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lore-of-the-silvereyes-rwby · 4 years

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Paranoia over reason

Now we move onto the source of Ironwood's problems his new dominent trait of Fear. Now there could be an argument for pride or strength of will but in all honesty fear has been the core value of his entire personality. For It is human nature to fear death above all else.

Before I delve into why fear may be his most dominant emotion at present, let's take a look at several definitions and meanings of the word.

Fear;

an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.

the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

a mixed feeling of dread and reverence.

Now that we have the clear definition and example of what fear is let's proceed.

I think we can all agree that the first signs of Ironwood's fear were first seen in volume 3. Due to the events of the Fall of Beacon where he was completely and utterly out maneuvered by Salem and Cinder despite his best efforts to stop them, Ironwood now appears to suffer from a degree of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an increased sense of paranoia, and an increased desperation to stop Salem by any means.

This, now coupled with his typical bullheadedness, arrogance and bluntness has made him make several decisions that have led to many of his own people from Atlas and the world in general to outright despise him due to the countermeasures he had implemented and the severe secrecy he has exhibited to the people, even his fellow Councilmen.

Even those in high positions or highly influential within the Kingdom have begun seeing him in a bad light, as seen with Jacques, Robyn Hill, Pietro Polendina and Councilmen Sleet and Camilla have begun doubting his state of mind and the honesty of his intentions.

Fundamentally, fear of death is the governing principle of human action. Fear is also one of the main motivator for most if not all of Ironwood's decisions that have affected the main plot of the current RWBY storyline.(For more details about this proceed to the hero section) His paranoia assuming he was already a paranoid individual before his debut has grown from worst to the extreme. So much so that it has warranted the concern of most of his allies.

Below are a few selected quotes and dialogue from some characters that evidence this reasoning and observation.

“James was no different. I couldn't tell you exactly what it was he saw there, but it changed him. He's…”

“He's scared.”

“Paranoid would be the more appropriate term.”

Pietro Polendina, & Qrow Branwen/ The Greatest Kingdom

“I'm not sure what happened to James in Vale, but it seems to have only worsened some of his more unfortunate tendencies. ”

Lionheart/ Welcome to Haven

“General Ironwood.... he looks.... tired.”

“James... what have you been doing?”

Yang, Ruby & Qrow/ The Greatest Kingdom

This more or less was a call for concern for the mental health and state of Ironwood’s mind. Fear is the main survival trait of all living things and it's okay to have it. But for Ironwood he had relied on fear too much to the point that it had consumed him and influenced every choice he had made. Not a very good trait to rely on.

Especially when you concern yourself more with uncertain and possible threats instead of the current and known threats that are in front of you. For Ironwood he ignored the current issues at hand in order to prepare for uncertain threats thus escalating the problem to the extreme.

Now we know how fear has motivated Ironwood and how it has led his situation from bad to worst. So we will now look at the possibility of how he might use his fear and the fear of others to his advantage.(Can’t be a General if you can’t motivate the people under your command to follow you without question)

“But ask yourself this: do you honestly believe your children can win a war?”

—Ironwood, before leaving Ozpin's office

“Discreet wasn't working. I'm here because this is what was necessary.”

—Ironwood, about the military presence in Vale

“The people of Vale needed someone to protect them, someone who would act. When they look to the sky and see my fleet, they feel safe, and our enemies will feel our strength.”

—Ironwood

Basically Ironwood is the class A example of Machiavelli in terms of philosophical ideals of security and control. Specifically relating to these 2 main ideas of Machiavelli’s philosophy;

Famously asserted that while it would be best to be both loved and feared, the two rarely coincide, and thus, greater security is found in the latter;

Viewed ambition, competition and war as inevitable parts of human nature, even seeming to embrace all of these tendencies.

But in the case of Ironwood he took these to the extreme. To the point that he became a fear monger; someone who spreads fear, or needlessly raises the alarm. This is what he did in V2. Now why would I assume this. As stated before his actions have more or less influenced the current course of events that has shaped the current world of RWBY for the worst.

This might also explain why Winter the Ace-Opts and even the members of Ruby’s group(@ v7 beginning & specifically Ren & Qrow) were willing to follow Ironwood. Not because he has the plan or because they trust him but because Ironwood has prayed on their fear and insecurities. As such they surrendered control of themselves and consented to Ironwood's authority.

For Winter it can be assumed that Ironwood had used her fear and anger of her father to his advantage. Thus gaining a loyal obedient servant. This might actually explain winter's line in the enemy of trust;

“What are you doing?! My life doesn’t matter!”

—Winter, to Penny after she saves her

Because she had consented to following Ironwood and accepted that her life has no value unless her assumed savior gives her a purpose. Basically Winter feared that she would end up like her father and so she rejected him in favor of Ironwood. To her Ironwood was the father she had always wanted. But her fear of Jaques had blinded her to the truth of Ironwood. Blinded her to the point that she had consented to a paranoid tyrant that will put his own agenda before everyone else.

Ironwood groomed and conditioned Winter from the start to be his right hand and be wholly loyal to him even against what’s right and against those Winter loves so she would carry out his orders even if they were morally dubious. He had brainwashed her to the point that she said, out loud, that her life doesn’t matter compared to Ironwood’s goals.

This same logic is also quite possible for the ace-opts as well as they all seem to have more fear dwelling within them more than the main heroes that they hide behind a false façade of confidence while relying and believing that Ironwood can ease their fear because he has made them believe that he can.

This is also shown in Ren where he seems to be the only one of the main heroes to actually join Ironwood’s side without hesitation in the worst case scenario. Not because he thinks what Ironwood is doing is morally right or if it's the pragmatic choice. It's because he is afraid and has no idea what to do. Add in the fact that his usual leaders (Ruby/Jaune/Qrow/Oz) have no idea what to do as well. Hence this quote;

“We spent so much time worrying about how Ironwood will react to the truth about her, but have any of us considered how we're even going to beat her if we manage to work past that?”

—Ren, to Ruby and Nora

The fear of losing Ironwood’s trust is secondary to his main fear of Salem and how he and his allies have no idea or plan to combat her. But despite that he is consenting to Ironwood because of how hopeless he believes the situation to be and thinks Ironwood can relieve him of some of the despair. And chances are that this was shared with the rest of the main heroes but at varying levels.

This is also more evident with Qrow. Prior to this, Qrow has hated Atlas and what it stands for, and was never afraid to call it out. But Qrow was the character most devastated by the revelations in Volume 6, as it shatters his entire worldview and causes him to doubt his entire life’s work. A life’s work that has both fulfilled him and given him purpose, while also putting a strain on many of his relationships. So with his entire world thrown into chaos, he clings to the stability and security Ironwood offers and ignores the warning signs he would’ve caught at anyone other point in his life.

This is also true in real life: where groups that try to embed unthinking loyalty into their followers always try to recruit people at their most vulnerable. This even works on a macro-scale, where whole nations can fall under the sway of strongman leaders after massive social upheavals.

Okay we have covered how Fear has influenced his actions as well as how he may take advantage of the fears of others to achieve his desired goals. Now we will cover how Ironwood’s fears, and paranoia may be unfounded.

To start we will take a look at an overall summary of the final 3 episodes of Volume 7 that displayed the extreme limits of Ironwood’s fears and paranoia.

As of "Gravity", once he learns Cinder Fall is on Atlas, and taking into account the lies from Ruby's Group and that Salem was coming, Ironwood caves into his paranoia. Now more distrustful than ever before, he believes the entirety of Ruby's Group is betraying him, leading him to commit many unethical acts in order to prevent Salem from winning.

He was willing to abandon Mantle despite the people not being fully evacuated and use the Relic of Creation to raise Atlas into the sky instead of Amity Tower, deciding he'd abandon his original plan to solely save his city instead. He was even willing to have Fria killed in order to make Winter Schnee the next Winter Maiden.

His paranoia had reached a level where he now plans on using his immense influence as both General to the Atlas Military and Headmaster to the Academy to now put the entire kingdom of Atlas in a state of martial law without the kingdom's council's consent or approval due to now no longer knowing who to trust as seen where he ordered the arrest of Ruby's Group when they refused to go along with his extreme plan of self preservation. He was even willing to go so far as to shoot Oscar Pine without any hesitation or remorse afterwards so he could proceed with his plan.

This is pretty much a summary of the events that happened in the final episodes of the last season and where the controversy of his character begins in the rwby fandom. Basically arguing whether or not he's a hero or a villain. Well as stated his actions were all motivated by fear and paranoia instead of actual reason or logic. Sure it can be argued that he made the rational choice but he wouldn’t have had he not been motivated by either his fear or ambition. Thus he had unnecessarily escalated the situation and did more harm than good.

And as stated by Ozpins speech at the end fear is just like alcohol the more you are consumed by it the more your real self is revealed.

The single quality that is common across every living creature on this planet... is fear. It’s funny then, that as common as fear is... we so easily underestimate its power.

But fear itself isn’t worthy of concern, it is who we become while in its clutches.

Will you be proud of that person? Will you forgive them? Will you understand why they felt the need to do the things they did? Will you even recognize them? Or will the person staring back at you be the very thing you should have feared from the start?

I suppose we all find out... sooner or later.

And as stated by Ozpin's speech at the end, fear is just like alcohol the more you are consumed by it the more your real self is revealed. And his true self has been revealed to be nothing more than a scared barley competent man that should have never been put in power in the first place

For it was his insistence that his way is what’s best for everyone has been the source if not all of the main cause of all the conflicts in the story. Because of this he has done more harm than good to Remnant and its people.

You had me with your words but you lost me with your action

#rwby #world of remnant #general ironwood #rwby ironwood #james ironwood #rwby atlas #rwby mantle #rwby analysis #rwby theory #rwby spoilers #rwby salem #Ironwood analysis

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novantinuum · 3 years

Text

Interview with a Fic Writer

Tagged by @fordanoia, thank you so much! ;w;;

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have a total of 67 works posted on AO3. (Even more on my ancient FF.net account.)

Of these, 38 are for Steven Universe, 17 are for Gravity Falls, 8 are for Doctor Who, and 5 are for Trollhunters. (One of the Trollhunters fics and one of the Gravity Falls fics are the same story, though- it’s a crossover, ahah!)

Out of the bulk of them, most are one-shots.

What’s your total word count on AO3

271,227 words.

...damn, that’s pretty decent. Hot shit, Jen.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh hey, the answer I already gave above! Yeah, I’ve only written for 4 fandoms in my entire life. I’ve actually written tons more Doctor Who than I’ve posted on AO3, but it’s older fic I wrote when I was 12-18, so... not exactly up to my current standards of writing. There’s a reason I haven’t cross-posted many of those.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Hollowed Moon (AKA the abandoned Spinel and Stevonnie one) with 2,709 kudos

2) Crack the Paragon, my long fic, with 1,398 kudos

3) Shattering Atlas with 627 kudos

4) Contact with 476 kudos

5) Bi the Way... with 279 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best to! I’ve made some friends before by responding back and forth in fic comments, so I always think it’s fun to engage with my readers in that way.

Fun fact: if you theorize or muse about lore in the comments of any of my fics, I will also muse about lore with you! I love discussing deep character/plot stuff, and sometimes even go in a bit deeper about my thought process while writing certain bits when people ask me about stuff.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably either Shattering Atlas (mentioned above) or The Price of Freedom, since they’re blatantly Hurt, No Comfort. Even the angstiest of most of my fics tend to suggest a light at the end of the tunnel, but those flat out END in a depressing manner, ahah. Fun to write, but... damn. You were sure goin’ through it then, huh Jen? Pat pat. XD

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

I have posted a single crossover- the start of a Gravity Falls/Trollhunters fusion sort of thing where teen Stanley ends up becoming the trollhunter, and meets Blinky and Arrrgghh. I got 4 chapters and about 15K in before I got sucked into Steven Universe hell, so I never continued it. Wrote a pretty bomb ass fight scene for it, though.

(I co-wrote one other crossover when I was a teen with some friends at a sleepover- it was the most Wild Dumb Bullshit ever, pretty much throwing Spiderman and Sherlock and Bilbo Baggins and the Doctor into a room together and locking the door. @yourstylishmom I know you know what I’m talking about, uhsndghjdj w h e e z e)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can recall. The only strange comments I’ve gotten have been like... people debating about Spinel in the comments thread of Hollowed Moon...? That was bizarre. More amusing than anything, though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I mean, I HAVE written smut before. Your typical kinky bullshit. Have I posted it, though? No. Will I ever? No. It’s for my eyes, and my eyes only.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did do a lot of Fiddauthor RP with @the-ill-doctor back in my Gravity Falls era! Those were some lovely times. ;w; <3 A portion of those RPs have been shared in a fic format, too--> The Time We Lost, the Time We Mended

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don’t exactly have ONE all-time favorite, but the only ones I’ve ever sat down and created genuine content for are the Doctor/Clara Oswald, Ford/Fiddleford, and Steven/Connie.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmmm. Second Skin. There’s only two more short chapters I need to write, but I kinda started writing that as a vent fic, and... I’m (thankfully) not in that mindset anymore.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write pretty decent character dialogue, and have a knack for capturing the voices of at least a few of ‘em. Some are definitely easier than others, though! Steven, Amethyst, and Greg tend to be the easiest for me when writing SU fic. And back in my Gravity Falls days, I found it easiest to write Ford and Stan.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I don’t know how to write fluff. I don’t understand romance. I technically understand the CONCEPT of it, but I have never myself experienced what I would consider true romantic attraction, so I have no clue what that experience feels like. I tried writing romance once in Ticklish, a teen Steven/Connie fic, but I to this day have no idea if this is what it’s actually LIKE. XD

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t really have any opinion on this, truth be told. I’ve never really run into this in the fic I read- but I’m guessing it shows up in plenty of anime fandoms.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who! That was the first fandom I read a fic for, too. If we’re counting unpublished fic that we wrote before we understood the concept of fanfiction, though... then the game Blinx the Time Sweeper *wheeze*

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

1) Crack the Paragon. It’s certainly the longest, most recent fic I’ve worked on- and I like to think the character work I’ve dug into with that is pretty neat.

2) Contact. This is the first true finished multichapter SU fic I have, and I think it’s cool to finally look back on this project as a cohesive short story, and be proud of myself for seeing it to the end.

Tagging (if you’re super bored and would like a fun thing to do) fellow writers:

@mimik-u, @fanfoolishness, @infriga, @abel-quartz, @endae

#jen rambles #tag meme

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zuzuslastbraincell · 4 years

Note

☕ Aang.

He's a character I don't see you talk about much, so I'm curious about you thoughts on him, his character arc, what you like or dislike about him, etc.

The short answer: Love Aang. He’s great! Feel like a lot of the dislike of his character (while fading, at least in the circles I’m in) is misplaced. People who think Aang didn’t make the right end game decisions don’t understand his character / miss the point, IMO. That said, dislike some of the character decisions especially r.e. Katara/Aang.

The longer answer: I really love Aang and I feel like the hate he receives from various parts of the fandom is very unwarranted, though I wonder if it stems from watching the show as a child his age and finding his playfulness unrelatable - like as a kid I might have found it exasperating but as an adult I find it very refreshing and it is so obvious to me that Aang is A Child, it informs how he behaves and his decisions massively, and I wonder if the dislike comes from the lack of perspective and being unable to view Aang as a kid, being kids themselves when these haters watched the show?

That said, all kinds of people do dismiss Aang as immature and it frustrates me to no end, because being cynical =/= maturity, a willingness to make difficult decisions that betray deeply held beliefs =/= maturity, and Aang’s decision to stick to his beliefs should always be viewed in tandem with the context that he is a victim of genocide, that genocide includes the destruction of a culture’s common beliefs and practices too, and whether those beliefs live or die in the future starts and ends with him.

Additionally, I feel like Aang does possess a lot of emotional maturity for his age, even if he has bouts of being immature (like, normal, honestly). Like he processes his anger in a way that is largely healthy, actually? I think that’s a thing most people don’t understand, they don’t see that as part of Aang, when really Aang processes his emotions like someone who’s had very clear healthy models for it. He does feel anger, and grief. When Aang tells Katara in the southern raiders episode vengeance isn’t the way, that’s something that he’s fought hard internally to believe in, that’s something that he’s learned.

Tying into that, I think an overlooked aspect of Aang’s development is how in season 1 Aang spent a lot of time looking for Fire Nation citizens who were good / who could be good, because the idea that the Fire Nation is fundamentally evil contradicts his world view (”the monks taught us all life was sacred”), but I think that was probably a perspective he clung onto as well as a way of dealing with his grief. Like, I feel like Aang has fought hard to reaffirm his beliefs in a world that seems determined to “prove him wrong”, surrounded with characters who largely don’t share or understand them & see it as naivety because they lack perspective and have only known war / understand the brutality of the opponent they’re facing on a personal level. I think we don’t see a lot of this explicitly, it’s largely subtext and often an internal debate -- Aang doesn’t have many people to soundboard these kind of thoughts off, there’s no one who is an air nomad or of a similar kind of upbringing around.

Tbh I feel that Aang is best in season 1, largely because his developments in later seasons also incorporate his feelings about Katara as part of his general development, and if I’m just completely honest with you all, I mean no disrespect to Katara/Aang folks you’re cool in my books but I’m just not sold by it at all. For example, because Aang’s journey mastering the avatar state involves him reckoning with his earthly attachments and the idea of letting go, and that conflict revolves around his feelings for Katara, and because I am not particularly sold by Aang and Katara, that impacts on how I view that whole arc. I love a good friends to lovers arc where the depth of those feelings extends to both friendship and romance but I feel like the way ATLA writes romantic arcs often involves a character suddenly looking at another with heart eyes and very little actual bonding to justify that sudden change, very few *journeys* or *arcs* that culminate in feelings (unrelated, but this is my theory as to why Zuko is shipped with almost everyone, because he literally has several life-changing journeys with other characters at the tail end of S3), and it’s fairly unconvincing / pretty flat to me? Especially since we do not get anywhere near as much an insight into Katara’s feelings in that regard? I get that romance isn’t always a grand arc or whatever but given that it’s tied to a lot of Aang’s S2 development, I think it ought to have more prominence.

If I’m honest, I also feel like Aang’s development regarding Katara and the Avatar State was incomplete, and that made a lot of his S3 development frustrating because in other aspects I think he came into his own and matured - usually in subtle ways, like his attitude in the Southern Raiders, but also we see him from being understandably upset about having to hide his identity, to incorporate aspects of Fire Nation dress into his final late S3 look - but in that aspect, his arc felt incomplete to me? This might be a poor reading of it, but to expand on how I see it, in S2, Aang is incapable of letting go of Katara until literally the most critical moment, when he has to -- at which point, he is struck down by chance. In S3, the concept of entering into the Avatar State being a matter of difficulty is literally not mentioned, so we can presume he’s come to terms with letting go of Katara - which directly contradicts the pushy behaviour he shows in Ember Island Players, the way he ignores her boundaries? And then that’s literally never addressed, Aang never apologises, Katara and Aang never have an important conversation resolving the conflict there, and in the end Aang gets the girl? It’s frustrating.

Like, the way I see it, “letting go” of Katara shouldn’t mean putting no importance on her - I actually like the idea of Aang not being willing to leave his friends behind, his compassion and care is important in this aspect. Rather, if I were in the writer’s chair, I would have it that “letting go” means a willingness to face rejection. Aang lets go of a romantic prospect of Katara - and acknowledges she can and might reject him, and that’s always a possibility, but opens his heart to her anyway out of trust (and when they get together, it’s not because he’s proven himself worthy, but because Katara wants to be with him). I think that would have been such a monumentally *powerful* message, especially in a late 00s cartoon, prior to the likes of Adventure Time and Gravity Falls quite explicitly deconstructing the idea of the male protagonist always getting with their crush (I feel like a vital context new viewers miss r.e. Katara/Aang is that the male protagonist would always always get with the girl in cartoons, it always happened, to the extent that female characters existed as much as love interests as characters in their own rights). I honestly don’t think it would even require that much in terms of change! I might show that in S3 Aang still has difficulty with the Avatar state at times - he can go into it at will, but not always - and that’s because he’s in the process of letting Katara as a crush go. I’d still keep the kiss in Day of Black Sun - tbh, I have no issues there, he thought he’d never see her again quite possibly, he’s impulsive, it makes sense - but I’d maybe highlight a slight awkwardness afterwards. I might even keep the awful Ember Island Players conflict - but crucially, I think Aang would have to learn from this. I think when Aang might realise he’s still struggling with the Avatar state as late as Sozin’s Comet episode 1, panic, realise he needs to internalise that belief more, and I think he’d leave Katara a note - including an apology for his actions before, for pushing her when she wasn’t ready, but explaining also, that he needs to go on a journey by himself to figure this out. Rest of Sozin’s comet goes ahead as normal, more or less. I’d end with Katara, maybe at the tea shop afterwards, talking to Aang and asking him why he went off by himself, explaining that she & the gaang would be there for him, he didn’t have to go on a journey alone. Aang would explain that he didn’t expect they’d understand, they’re not monks, and Katara explaining that maybe they wouldn’t, but he could *try*, that’s a risk you sometimes take (but concedes they could have been more understanding). And I think over that conversation it hits Aang it’s not about being alone. Everything’s connected. It’s about not clinging on. it’s about being willing to lose. It’s about trust. I think by the end, they agree to try and communicate better, and Aang then asks Katara out - mirroring “Do you want to go penguin sledding with me?”, similar kind of activity. He almost tries to over-explain and say ‘listen it doesn’t have to go anywhere’ but Katara just smiles and says yeah. And they leave to go on their first real date.

Anyway that’s how I *would* have handled it and that is what I think could be an interesting and compelling arc that wouldn’t take much adjustment to add. Aang is afraid of losing Katara, and realising that he can and might lose her is important.

.... that’s way more than I intended to write but yeah. I feel like a lot of Aang’s development ties in with his feelings for Katara and that’s where I take issue.

#aang #soozenwrites

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toysoldiers-rwby · 4 years

Text

Deleted Scene. SYT Ch10.2

Show Your Teeth

Characters: Fiona, Winter, May, Robyn, Joanna Rating: Explicit (tagged as thoorist) Tags: slice of life, sexual tension Word Count: almost 6k

Second Draft of ch 10. I tossed out almost 20k words to find an ending that was the right amount of tension and bittersweet. I think this one was too angsty. honestly i don't remember

Read Show Your Teeth on on Ao3

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Dr. Pietro was too valuable to be in the middle of Grimm infested fields, thousands of miles away from the Kingdom. He was constantly wrangling in both the Watts and a few other scientist for his current project. It would explain Author Watts’ sour mood, his eagerness to experiment on Glade.

But Glade was Glade, May realized with a smile. The stray that manipulated the military, the stray that outsmarted two fucking kingdoms! Being able to improvise and make the best out of being an illegal experiment…

Glade did a double take, those glowing white pupils dilating like a cat. Ears flicking in confused circles as plume of fire they were blowing onto the metal faded to the embers died on their lips. Fire Dust glowed across their skin, high-lighting the fullness of their cheeks and hard planes of muscles beautifully.

May only understood a few signs but she knew the sign “What?”

She continued staring and grinning. “Nothing.”

Glade crosses their arms and leans against the workbench. They’re posturing. With the military feeding them, they didn’t even need to flex to show off their muscles. That calm and confident grin echoing Joanna and Robyn’s. There isn’t enough raw arrogance to compete with Winter, maybe in a few years after the tuffs of curls grow out. But right now they look too adorable.

Silvio looks up from his Scroll. His face starts at confused, slides down to contempt then utter disgusted as he looks between Glade and May. He takes a deep breath and Glade is already rolling those glowing blue eyes, “Gaaay! Oh wait…” He stares at Glade. There’s an analytically rude way his silver eyes flick up and down their body.

They’re not in uniform. Too much grease, too much molten metal, Dust, and various other things that would permanently damage the thick fabric. Instead it’s a simple broiler suit, arms tied at the waste because fuck safety and stand in the raw Solitas air in their binder.

“Would that still be considered Gay? How would that work with… y’know?”

“That’s a stupid question for a genius,” May scoffs with a small smirk.

“If I wasn’t freezing my balls off I’d pelt you snow,” Silvio glowers. He pouts, turning his chair and continues playing with Marrow’s weapon schematics. May’s Scroll pings.

G.O.A.T: Fi and Win stares a lot too G.O.A.T: yall can admit im hot

If they weren’t working on Winter’s weapon she’d throw her Scroll at that smug face. “Literally hot. I think I can see you steaming,” May says with a small frown. It doesn’t stay though. She’s far too happy.

Things were getting better.

It took till fucking mid-terms but it was fucking getting better. Glade sticks out their tongue, the Dust infused tongue piercing glowing brightly. Then they blow a kiss with embers and a wink- and the warm stutters her heartbeat. Glade chuckles silently and goes back to work. She can’t help but continue watching.

Blacksmiths had all but died in Atlas. They have machines and factories and there was something captivating about watching the kiln from the fire and Dust dance against their skin. Something about watching someone’s passion in action.

And yes. May wouldn’t feed that ego but Glade was hot.

And criminal or not, they were a genius. They pulled the saber out of the kiln, setting it against the anvil and hammering it into shape. Glade may have been a pacifist but they were a fighter. There was no one else more qualified to make weapons than Aurora Glade-

“They’re a good kisser you know.”

May screamed turned around. They saw white wiggling ears and looked down to see Fiona smiling. She’d be laughing if she wasn’t breathing so hard. Face flushed adorably, even tinting her ears lightly- Gloveless fingers engulfed her vision.

“Cold!” Fi’s hands cups her cheeks. May sends them tumbling backwards trying to escape but Fiona laughs and follows. She tries to find footing but its all snow out in the tundra and they fall deep into it.

“Gay!” Silvio’s yell is swallowed by the emptiness and snow.

Fiona manages a laugh and needs to gasp for breath again. May hisses, body shivering as snow melts against her thick Atlesian clothes. Then she’s too hot, Fi’s breath warm against her lips. Still too far.

“I wish I could kiss you…” Fiona whispers.

May was about to pull her into one but Marrow and Harriet shouting stops them. Thousands of miles away from the Kingdom and it’s eyes and ears still follows. Fiona sighs, ears flicking in frustration. The Junior Ops were rather far for safety reasons, testing out upgrades and smoothing out kinks as the geniuses upgrade them. There were some pros to being in this ‘Accelerated Program.’

But stealing small moments right in under Atlas of them gives a certain thrill. May’s hands manages to slide into Fiona’s and she brings it to their lips. Fi sputters, that blush running deeper, lower down that lovely neck.

“Nice to see you two being productive.” The drawl is both familiar and unfamiliar. Fiona gasp out another bubble of giggles and May laughs. The Glyph is actually warmer than the snow as it pulses under them. It gently pulses and lifts May and Fiona off the ground.

The pair is meet with more than Winter’s eyes. Robyn and Joanna are grinning down at them, far to amused to play stoic like the Specialist. All three of them are flushed and panting slightly. But… for some reason no matter how deep Winter’s breath were, it wasn’t fulfilling. She was fighting in a binder again-

“May isn’t your partner anymore,” Fiona teases with a grin. May ignores the small sting in her chest. “Your not allowed to be jealous if I top her-”

“I don’t need to hear this!” Silvio yells a little more aggressively. He stands up, hugging his thick coat tight to his body. The civilian snow gear almost makes him penguin walk to the Junior Ops. “Marrow! Give me your gun!”

“I thought you said-”

“Give it!” Marrow yips and immediately surrenders his weapons. Silvio then retreats deep into the airship. Leaving Marrow confused, unarmed and pouting.

Glade gives RMJT (Ramjet) and their supervising officer a side-ways glance and a smirk but continues to work on Winter’s weapon. With some steam and wind Dust, they cool it down sharpen the blade in long arching fluid motion. The muscle on their arms on full display and almost as nice as Joanna’s. May would need to feel them to get a fair evaluation though-

"Kitten."

“Stop calling me that!” May swats Joanna’s handsome face on reflex. Joanna laughs and gently pushes her hands off.

“But you even paw,” Joanna hums low and playfully. She worse than Fiona when she feels like it and judging from the light in her eyes, she felt like it. “We still have a bet. If I win you finally start using my crossbow staff.”

“We never decided on what I’ll get if I win,” May argues. There were so many ideas she had. A date night with just Joanna was always fun and calm. She did promise to take her around to show off the glowing street art in Mantle.

“Why bother? That’s never going to happen,” Joanna winks and is already walking a little ways from the airship. May finds herself following, staring at that broad back and the muscles testing the fabric of her coat. She huffs in frustration but reaches for her staff and extends it. A quick double to confirm that all the Dust chambers are full.

May nods.

Joanna doesn’t fire her crossbow bolts. She splits that staff into two axes and charges. May’s mind fire scenario after scenario, the smile still on her face. Joanna is stronger and has a longer reach. She doesn’t need a two handed weapon to over power her and her long arms is enough for the axes.

May smirks. Two weapons makes it harder for May to block so she’ll just dodge- Joanna fires a bolt at her feet. It glows purple and the pull of gravity nearly drops May to her knees. Instead she tucks and rolls left, then scrambles back to avoid the an axe head. The other end is loaded and May barely hits it away to avoid it. Only this time the bolt explodes far to close behind her and topples the two.

The Marigold scowls. She vaguely remembers that Joanna was a cop, one of the best in Mantle. She’s older, has more experience fighting people than Grimm. She also has stronger Aura and more reserves. That explosions does nothing to her while May’s ears are ringing and the snow crunches unevenly under her feet.

Joanna lets her blink the world back to focus. She’s grinning, tapping an axe bladed crossbow on her shoulder. "Gonna call it kitten?" Her partner taunts playfully. If this was last semester May might have thrown her staff or go invisible. Then throw her staff.

She only grins. “Not even in your dreams.” May does go invisible. Joanna immediately couches down, grabbing a handful of snow and flies it into the air. May grins. Smart, resourceful. Gullible. Chambering fire dust, she melts the snow. Solitas is cold enough that water instantly freezes again, leaving a mist that blankets the field. May throws the gravity bolt back with enough Aura to pull Joanna to the ground.

She was going to follow up with lightning but May always underestimates how strong Joanna is. The gravity bolt doesn’t pin her, barely hinders her as she charges towards May again. For a moment they were in the Field.

For a moment, Joanna doesn’t attack and just presses her lips to May’s. She surrenders into it almost instantly. Joanna’s kiss was always slow burning. There’s a lingering sense of power and control. Like a beast in hibernation. It’s one of those things that is given to you.

That moment passes as Joanna continues to shove May out. Their lips part far to soon. It’s worth being pinned into the snow by her girlfriend though. Hidden in the snow, Joanna breaths hot against the back of her neck.

“I win.”

“I don’t exactly call this a lose…” May mumbled. Joanna easily lifts them both up and May’s blushing to hard and staring at the ground. Heart beating too fast for something so simple. Maybe she did like being handled… Her teammates laugh. The Ice Queen can’t. Winter does relax, the barest hint of a smile on her face.

Then she’s looking at Glade. The saber is finished and sings as it cuts through the air. With a press of a button the secondary splits from the handle and drops into their free hand. They test the pair out, feeling the balance, checking the sharpness. After a little more teasing and a small impatient frown from Winter, the weaponsmith finally surrenders it.

“An adequate display,” Winter hums, keeping her expression and voice void of the pride in the eyes. Glade was amazing and they knew it. They frowned deeply at the insult and May laughed with Fiona. They were adorable. Even with the eerie glowing eyes. “Would you like to prove me wrong? I believe Watts is still trying to get combative readings from your neural augments.”

There was an interruption from the Junior Ops. Of course it was Harriet who scoffs, “Stop playing with your pet,” Harriet said. "We’re here on business, Specialist Schnee."

… Pet. May grits her teeth. She takes a deep breath trying to let the comment wash off. Winter’s constant reminder floats through her head. The need to play nice and play up Robyn’s image.

It was Robyn’s fame that saved Fiona’s scholarships when the public learned Winter was promoted. It was Winter’s image that lets her be around Glade so much that their sign language was second nature in just a few months.

Atlesian 101. Public opinion is everything. At the end of the day, they were all social creatures. All victims to a mindless and easily fooled community.

But Robyn was a Mantle Rat. She doesn’t see the manipulative threads. She heard a bitch insult a friend who’s been stripped of everything and leaps into action.

“What did you call Glade?” Robyn hisses. Fiona is standing by their leaders side. It wasn’t that Fiona was sweet and kind and without spite. It was that she didn’t have the protection May had, couldn’t act on her anger without a family name and money.

So Fiona practically snarl and bare her fangs stuns May for a moment. The pair make the face of RMJT. They’re charming and cute smiles were plastered all over the net and zines. If a photo of them got leaked right now, Fi would lose her scholarships. They both looked ready to throttle the hare.

“Get over yourself, Hill,” Harriet sneered in that Atlesian tone. May scowls. She’s faster than Robyn so she’ll be second in line to beat the asshole up. "Maybe if you were a real Atlasian Huntress you’d realize Glade is just a toy." May’s heart is in her ears. Roaring. Angry. Two years till freedom. May desperately reminds herself. Two years till they can finally bring Atlas down-

Fiona moves first so Robyn follows her partner. Joanna’s long arms catch Fiona in a bear hug while May struggles with Robyn.

"You called them Winter’s pet!" Fiona angrily yelled, thrashing in Joanna’s arms. Somehow May managed to shove Robyn her way. Joanna’s strong arms easily pinned the two in a bear hug. Fiona looked at the only other Faunus. Marrow had wandered over, no doubt to stop all the yelling. “Marrow! You can’t be okay with that!”

“I- I’m not!” the underclassmen stuttered, tail low between his legs.

"Then fucking do something!"

“Assault isn’t the answer, Ms. Thyme,” That cool commanding voice. May sighs. That mask slips on too easily sometimes. May can’t blame her… She’s a Schnee she was literally born into it. Everyone calms a little. Winter isn’t even looking at RMJT but the airship side door. //Focus in use

The workbench and kiln are abandoned… Winter clears her throat. Glade pokes their head out.

Brows knitted up in fear above those glowing blue eyes, their ears a timid low. They looked at Robyn and Harriet, both their shoulders tense and absolutely pissed. Then they looked back at Winter and vigorously shake their head no, trying to hide away again.

From the corner of her eyes, May saw Marrow bit his lip, tail twitching as he tried not to giggle. May was eager to latch to the lighter mood. Her anger doesn’t melt so easily. But… but Glade was scared. So she takes a deep breath and smiles softly. Not enough to be friendly because Glade was a solo vigilante.

If they had to keep their relationship a secret they definitely had to keep their history with Glade buried.

Still Her chest was bubbling at how cute timid Glade was. Marrow cracked laughing softly and May couldn’t help but to snort. Winter gave a sigh, frustration genuine on her face. For a moment even May thought she was irritated at the ‘criminal’ but the twitch in her arms told a different story. Winter fought against her true nature, pushed aside all the comforting gestures she’d learned for Weiss and gave Glade a wary thin look.

“I assure you, you’re safe… Unless you doubt my ability to beat everyone here?” Winter asked slowly, toeing the line of intimidating and teasing. Glade made more adorable Faunus noises.

May couldn’t help but to smile. Everyone else, save for Harriet, thought it was adorable so she was allowed to too. Before Winter could try coax them in, someone kicked Glade out of the airship. Silvio scowls glaring hard at the students.

“Aren’t you fucking assholes suppose to be smart?” He ask. “Do you know how much Grimm you just brought in?! Two hordes of Megoliaths!”

Winter sighs. She’s had a lot of practice so it comes out natural. It almost convinces May. “Harriet, take the fighter and the others. I need a word with RMJT.” Winter said, glaring hard at Robyn.

During the short time it takes to load up the workstations and for the Junior Ops to leave, May realizes that Winter might actually be made. As soon as they were gone, Winter tapped a few buttons on her Scroll. May could feel the guarded edge on the back of her mind and in her Aura fade off as the hidden cameras in the room shut down.

//HH & Winter Rift. White knights flaw. PICKUP HERE Immediately the Schnee exploded, that cool demeanor all fire and frustration.

“What the fuck were you two thinking?!” Winter yells at Robyn and Fi. Again. At least it was almost two weeks. Still May sighs and tries to find a way to de-escalade the situation. It’s hard when she sides with Fi and Robyn. Fiona’s hackles practically raise, fist balled up tight as she glared at her former leader. Robyn looked ready to throw another punch.

Before either of them could get a word in, Joanna’s massive figure stepped between them. She only crossed her arms, staring down at all three women. The interruption was enough for them to catch their breath. Mostly Winter who leaned against the table, almost struggling to breath as she rubbing her temples.

“Fi… you should know you need to pick your battles. There are still people trying to get you expelled and I’m not there to-”

“We don’t need your protection,” Fiona hissed, ears twitching low. "Focus on Glade, Silvio, Weiss and Whitley." That hit May and cracked Winter. So many emotions she needed to keep under control flashed across her face. May pressed her side into their girlfriend’s, hoping to ground her. Eventually the pain and fear faded to… guilt.

Then Winter shook it off.

It was replaced by fustration. “Point is there is a lot of people that don’t want to see you four graduate,” Winter said. RMJT rolled their eyes. They were the under-dogs. An estrange elite, two nontraditional Mantle Rats who said fuck the law and a Faunus that was better than a Schnee in both academic and fighting- Winter was still talking. “They have a lot of power if you give them any kind of leverage you’ll never graduate.”

“We’ll be fine.” Robyn huffed.

“No you wont,” Winter hissed at Robyn. She stood up, back straight and shoulders tense. Brittle. May gently put her hand on Win’s shoulder, only to have… her former partner shake it off. Winter soldiers on, “You have no idea, what Atlesians are capable of. You need to do better!”

“I know!” Robyn yelled back. They were within each other’s melee range now. “I have people swarming me every day reminding me I’m the Hero of Mantle. I know!”

“You wanted follow my grandfather. Step up and lead by example, Hill.”

The importance of image finally clicks for Robyn. Realization settles in as her shoulders relax for a moment. Robyn tries to smooth out those hard edges but pitty and fustratin shines through. “So do you,” Robyn nearly hisses. “You’re the only one keeping them prisoner.”

That makes Winter pause. She looks at Robyn and something filters across her face.

Pity or envy?

Before RMJT can say anything the bay doors open and Glade was the first one to jump out. Winter actual held them back. May remembered something Winter said at the beginning of summer. That Glade’s Dust was potent enough to level an entire block. They saw that masterful application during their work and now…

And now Glade is finally away from civilians.

Even from the possible safety of the Bullhead, high in the air, May could feel the heat piercing the Solitas cold. A blaze of fire rolled through the snow and ice, leaving the dead rocky ground bare. The weaker Megoliaths burned in the fire.

The Dust in their boildersuit fade from red to dark orange. The herd was culled again, this time impaled by earthen spikes. A quarter of the herd was cut down in seconds. The Alpha Megoliaths roared, legs shattering the earth spikes under its feet. They could see the ground shaking from the sky. If Glade’s Aura and Dust doesn’t attract the second horde, the small earthquakes would have.

Glade was skilled enough to avoid capture by Vale’s Glynda Goodwitch. Skilled enough to wrangle Grimm, skilled enough to have the entire Kingdom of Mistral after her and elude them for a year. Skilled enough that violence was a choice for them. And even stripped of everything they bite back in a differnt way.

Winter crosses her arms. The movement pulls May to the argument that the two leaders could never really settle. What to do with Glade? "Their semblance is similar to General Ironwood’s Mettle." Winter explains. May hates their semblance even more. “Glade can Focus on an aspect, personality, emotions, senses, a task, Dust, lying… acting.” Winter said. There was something at the end of it. It dipped and strained… like she was stabbing her own heart. “Atlesian 102.”

And suddenly May’s freeze and burns.

“Give them what they think they want.” May mumbles. Focus on a lie or an act, May grits her teeth. Pretend like nothing is wrong for the sake of your friends or play up the torutred experiment to gain sympathy.

“Everyone loves to see their hero and knight save someone. And the Faunus experiment is the perfect damsal.” Winter practically growls under her breath. May watches her. Anger deep in her eyes. Winter didn’t ask for the image, for the fame. It followed her from her family now in the military it has grown like steel wires.

She waits a few moments. When RMJT responds with silence she finally leaps from the aircraft. She landed gracefully next to Glade. She let some of her Ice Queen image chip and crack to give Glade a pat on their head. The Specialist didn’t draw her new saber, fresh from the kiln and anvil. Instead she stepped back and let Glade fight.

Glade never needed their help.

Not with the Geist.

Not after their surrender.

May and Robyn looked at each other, conflicted and a little confused. How much was an act from their semblance? Robyn groaned into her palm. The look of regreat solid on her face before she leaped out.

“Sometimes I think she forgets she’s dating Winter,” Joanna whispered to May. It felt like that most days… May blames the distance. The physical one, between Atlas and Mantle. “Come on. Killing Grimm will calm us down and we can’t get showed up by a civilian.”

"How does adrenaline and hot sweaty women equal calming?" Fiona muttered. It was a half hearted joke. A little real but overall a bad deflect. May takes a breath.

Glade is okay. Just a manipulative bitch. Hopefully. And if they’ll still be there tomorrow. Things will get better. Hopefully.

May follows the rest of RMJT out of the airship.

Joanna was right. Fighting Grimm burnt the argument and fight out of them. Despite all the show, Glade gased out far to quickly to be effective Hunter. They did kill a lot of the first herd and the second was no match for eight nearly qualified Hunters.

Snow was starting to return to the area where Glade orignally landed. There was a small tent picked up with a few chairs. Fiona waving at them while Joanna gave a broad grin and blowing a kiss. Robyn plays along, a hand over her heart and swooning into May’s arms. Until the estranged Marigold snorts and drops her.

But just because Joanna was right doesn’t mean Fiona was wrong.

May stands above Robyn for a second. Admiring the messy plantium locks and the flushed tanned face- Robyn winks. “Ugh-” Instead of sinking down into the snow and kissing her girlfriend she kicks the snow into her face. Joanna and Fiona laugh, loud and joyful. They were all too tired to be guarded. It feels less like a fight, less like a mission watching a ‘criminal.’ Their stupid smiles always made it feel like a date.

As soon as May took a seat in on the chairs she didn’t want to move. She hiss curses under her breath feeling her body throb. A Sabyr kicked her jaw, a Sulfur Fish stung her calf… but the thob was in her gut and growing lower and lower as she watches her partner.

Joanna pushed Elm out of the way earlier, taking a hit from a Megoliath. It must have fucked with her shoulder because she’s rolling it, stretching her coat tight against her back muscles. May feels that solid heat ghost under her fingers. She doesn’t have the same hair routine but giving Joanna massages was good in its own way.

She wasn’t strong enough for a deep massage but that just means May kept on trying. Enjoying warm skin under her hands, the hard shift from muscle to muscle. Every twitch was like Joanna was flexing.

May feels Marrow’s tail thawt against her leg in a lazy motion. It sped up a little as Joanna slips a sleeve off, brunching up her shirt to push a the knot directly and showing an unfair amount of muscles.

She wants to kiss her. Fuck public image. Fuck all the pretending, the cold attitutdes. May was tired of all the Atlesian bullshit. She killed dozens of Grimm and at least deserves to kiss her fucking girlfriends. Joanna was barely out of breath and May wanted her gasping.

“Hey, Robyn,” Marrow called out, breaking her out of her daydream. “You can’t arrest people, can you?”

“I quit so I could attend Atlas Academy, wags.”

“Huh… Well that,” He gestured to Joanna. Robyn walked over, quietly observing as Elm walked up and tried to massage the kink gone. Both their muscles flexing and tested Atlesian thick clothing. "That should be illegal."

“You know what is illegal?” Robyn asked. May could hear that stupid smile in her voice and she was groaning loudly to drown out Robyn but it didn’t work, “Not kissing my girlfriend- Damn it! Look alive, May!"

May snapped to attention just as a Megoliath roared into view. Everyone switches back into fighting mode. May ran after her leader, twisting the chamber in her staff. It clicks empty, empty, then she felt electricity hum as lightning Dust chambers in.

“Joanna!”

“For the record I hate it when any of you do this!” Joanna yells. She still held her out her hands for May to vault off of and May only grins. Blame it on all the times Winter carries her around or all the rush from the Glyphs, or maybe she just likes being handled by Joanna. Her partner only frowns as hearing her thoughts. She still throws May high into the air and barely has time to dodge the Grimm herself.

Elm jumps in, holding onto the trunk with Roots further anchoring her to the ground. May yells a warning, plunging the staff deep into the Grimm’s eye. It doesn’t bleed, doesn’t smoke, it just… sinks in with a bone shuddering wet noise. The lightning Dust pours into the Megoliath. Joanna helps Elm clear the twitching tunk and stomping legs.

An explosion throw’s May’s off.

It wasn’t silent like the crossbow bolts so it had to be something Fiona stole. May’s limbs burns like she’s been fighting for an hour. She sinks deep into the snow and it doesn’t help. It does the opposite. All the blood is pooling between her legs, all the running and fighting had everything rubbing just right. May tries not to think about the last time she had sex. About how the snow feels like Winter’s cool hands crawling into her neck.

With a shuttering breath she stares up at the bright sky. Focuses on how warm the rare Solitas sun is on her skin because they were in public. Fiona eclipses the sun for a moment. Then a moment longer as her body falls-

“Fi!” May screams, trying to scrample away. The snow gives and gives under her hands and Fiona finally craches into her. Even the sharp headbutt does nothing for the low arosual in her gut. If anything it just gives her shaft a reason to thob harder. It has everything to do with Fi’s groan and not how her brain was mixing pleasure and pain. With Fiona’s hands firm on her chest. Sweet laughter against her neck.

May drops her Aura for a few seconds. The idea was that the snow would chill her blood. But so many hours, wrapped around Winter’s fingers… May groaned slamming her Aura back on. She wanted those cool hands on her thighs. Clawing. She wanted Fiona seated higher on her chest.

Who’s idea was it not fuck? Winter? It has to be Winter’s.

Fiona’s laugh draws May out of her pout. “Woops,” Fiona mumbled unapologetically. There was something in her voice. The faux innocent tone and sinfully slow drawls. “It’s a good thing Joanna won, you really need something for distance.”

“Shut up,” May growled. As revenge she hangs limp. Fiona is strong enough to carry her but she just… so tiny. And tired. The snow makes things harder than it should be and they fall back into it. Out of stupid habits May holds Fiona tight, as if they were falling out of another crashing airship. As if Fiona wasn’t already laughing on the way down.

“This is your fault y’know,” Fiona said with a grin. Looming over her, elbows blocking May. It fucks with her breathing and then more. Fiona’s eyes flicker down. That heated gaze slowly growing intense, like the day in the changing room. She licks her lips, her ears straining forward for more soft noise. She knows Fi can feel her heart race. That innocent smiles grows sweet and beutiful and so far from innocent.

Her knee slides up.

Pausing between May’s. That low throb was firmly settled between May’s legs now. She glances away but that only opens her up. Fiona’s lips and nose press into her neck. Her pulse is far to alive against such a soft kiss. Too soft. May wants more. Her body already arching for it.

“Fi…” May was starting to tremble.

“We deserve a second,” Fiona says as if it was a warning. Then her teeth digs in hard. May presses her hand against her mouth, breath loud and sharsh as her back arch but Fiona’s hand quickly comes up to pin it down. Her ears flutter pointedly. May wanted hands and teeth, Fiona wanted it all including her moans. She sucks hard and gives May a teaser for what it could feel around her pulsing cock.

She doesn’t stop until May tugs her hair. After May feels pre-cum sliding down her shaft. Fiona growls and huffs. Teeth teasing the bruise but it was already healing. It still hurts, so Fi tongue sooth the spot. Low and slow like it was May’s shaft- Their Scrolls ping and Fiona looks ready to break it in her hands.

G.O.A.T: stop. i can SMELL you horny idiots from here happywool: that’s a bad thing?

She steal a kiss from May. Even burried in the snow, fighting in the cold, the kiss is warm and sweet. Even if Fiona’s sharp teeth nip with fustration.

Her knee shifts higher. A hand palms May’s chest.

G.O.A.T: SERIOUSLY. I CAN’T EXACTLY GET LAID foxhot: sounds like a u problem G.O.A.T: just finish the grimm so we can get Win home

That stops Fiona dead in her tracks.

mt.spur: what happen angeldust: Nothing important. G.O.A.T: i disagree and stop being a dumb bitch G.O.A.T: she’s fighting with her binder on angeldust: So are you! G.O.A.T: i didnt feint bitch

May and Fiona rolls their eyes and share another kiss before Fiona pulls her onto her feet. "The sooner we finish the sooner we can finsih," Fiona says with a wink and runs off. May watches her with a small smile and tries to shake the snow out of her hair and clothes.

The rest of the evening slips into a mix of auto-pilot and a straight up blur. The simple social outing for the ‘criminal’ was an extra hour, almost two. The Grimm was easy but they kept coming. Like every other week. RMJT has been out on so many missions half their classes were online, in the damn airships. The ones that weren’t were Combative Training, Advance Stealth Operations or Body Conditioning.

Her Scroll kept going off too much to call it a nap and she feels to restless when she finally realizes they’re back in Mantle.

May sets her back down the table and stretches out the kinks in her back. She groans as a few joints pop back into place. A pair of hands slide onto her shoulders, pressing into areas she didn’t realize were tense.

The hands were too big to be Fiona’s, too small to be Joanna’s, too warm to be Winter’s. She blinks in surprise. For such a flirt Robyn was actually rather reserved. Most of her advances only happened when Winter was around. And sure enough, somehow the they manage to drag the Specialist.

Or with Joanna, carry.

A feint blush is on Winter’s cheeks now and she lets out a sigh. May has gotten used to all the touches and her partner’s casual show of strength. But Winter probably regressed up in Atlas, with only Glade.

“You can set me down now,” Winter mumbles.

“Not even a please,” Joanna playfully huffs. Instead she sits down on the couch. Her hands interwined with Winter’s… pressing it against her thighs.

Just like the changing room.

The room suddenly feels hotter. May’s blood was already hot from all of Fiona’s teasing and now its rapidly pooling in her shaft- Where’s the lamb. May looks around to see the women walk out of their bedroom, a bag in one hand and twirling the knife in the other.

Now in the privacy of their home, Fiona is a little calmer. Her grin is still dark, her ears still strained but she doesn’t look like shes ready to pounce.

Her prey is already caught after all.

Fiona looks at May and winks. With a touch the coffee table and everything on it gone and she replaces it with the bed in their room. May finds her self menuvered, seated on the edge with Robyn behind her.

May can only stare dazed at Winter. The women was… she was the image of Atlas perfection. Control, yet she’s trembling with Joanna’s hot breath on her neck. Power, though when that knife slices into her uniform she’s praying Fiona’s name.

“Fi… fuck,” Winter mutters. Her Aura flares where the knife licks her skin. May whimpers and shifts between Robyn’s legs. Her leader murmers something. Something about how good girls don’t interrupt a show. A hand strokes May thighs, promising a reward for good girls.

Fiona briefly smiles over her shoulder. The knowledge that this show was also for them… May throbs against her clothes. Whimpers with as Joanna hums, staring at the tent her pants. Winter looks ready to feint. Breathing shallow and eyes clouded. Still Fiona goes slow. Those flexing abs revealed inch by near minute.

“Hurry, please Fiona… I’m going to pass out-”

“Oh!” Fiona’s blinks, that dominance replaced by surprised concern. She laughs nervously, knife swiftly gliding through the shirt, coat and binder. Winter’s Aura lights up her skin as the blade tilts her head back.

Exposed. Volunrable. Submissive.

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years

Text

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {7}

Summary: Dealing with the truth isn’t easy, especially when there’s a soulmate bond involved.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

Word count: 4000+

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are, Isak Danielson - Love me Wrong, Dove Cameron - Remember me, Tom Odell - Can’t pretend, The XX - Angels, Coldplay - Fix you, Coldplay - The scientist, Elvis Presley - Can’t help falling in love.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Ikari (noun) - anger/strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility

Very few moments in our lives are time-stamped, just frozen in one particular second of an achingly long minute of a horribly long hour. That's when time stands still and we're left with a choice - to be the force that makes it move or be a victim of the one who does and Ethan wasn't sure what to choose.

Taking her quivering lips and trembling chin into account, those beautiful eyes of hers clouded with doubt and hurt but not hate...even then she couldn't hate him. Love and hate are the same train, only in forwards or reverse gear. Her chest rose quickly with each breath, her exhales coming out as huffs instead of proper airflow and her hands laid at her side as defenseless as she must feel. She has blood in her eyes while blood drains from his face.

He doesn't feel like he deserves to be the one to end the silence. It's not as if he wouldn't be happy to be a father now or many times after as well, but it's the way it's come to be and it's the deceit that had forced this moment of reckoning.

"Nothing to say? Because I have plenty. To. Say." She spat the words out like they're poison collecting on the tip of her tongue, her eyes narrowing as tears begin to spill and Ethan really has no words to say because what the hell could he ever say that would make it better? And she’s fighting for the good memories of them to remain unaltered, to remember the reasons to be kind. She’s fighting to keep herself empathic even as every terrible thing she had predicted is coming true in this instant. For Y/N, that's the betrayal, Ethan’s lack of willingness to fight the negative thoughts and think the best of her, to recall her soul as it was when they first met instead of loving the soul that evolved by his side.

"You kept this from me for six months, Ethan! You watched me squirm whenever I asked about your soulmate and you said NOTHING!" Her hands bawl into fists and the veins in her neck become prominent and while he swallows thickly, Ethan prepares for the worst of it. She's just starting and she has every right to get it off her chest and onto him. He deserves it all.

"I've been haunted by a soulmate that doesn't exist! God, Ethan, do you even have any idea how fucking distraught I've been over that?! And then this!" Pointing at the positive test at his feet, Ethan can tell her hands are shaky but so is her entire body. Her emotions are completely in control, her rage at its peak, but he can't help the tiny bit of joy inside him at the fact that she's still there. She may be screaming at him, but she's there, not running away like she would have done months ago but staying long enough to at least argue.

"I've mourned our children, Ethan!" Her voice is raspy and devastatingly painful, his heart desperately flailing inside his chest as her grief overcomes her and he can't touch her, he can't make it go away. This time, he's the cause instead of being her cure. In her pain she thought he’s the bad guy, yet in truth he’s drowning in a sea of uncried tears too.

"I've mourned the children I thought we couldn't have! I've let that go, given up on it entirely because I wanted you more than -", her voice breaks and a sob fills the pause that wrecks Ethan from inside out and his own tears fall uncontrollably and while he knew it would be better if he stays on the other side of the room, he had taken a step closer and she didn't take one back.

Swallowing a lump inside her throat, she shakes her head at him and speaks again, no longer screaming but her quiet tone is making it worse. It hit him hard. Her words are like nails and hammers breaking his heart apart.

"I would have given it all up for you. I didn’t give a fuck about the soulmate I might have, because you're all I can see. I would have given up having children of my own, for you. I would have forgiven you for lying to me all this time, Ethan, I would have. I was going to." Wiping her tears off, she rubbed her nose absentmindedly before her gaze fell on that test again, her own heart aching.

Did she want kids? Yes.

Did she want Ethan's kids? Definitely.

But like this? It wasn't quite the way she imagined it at all and not at a time where she's finishing her intern year. There were far too many things she wanted to do differently, to make it special. Who even gets pregnant by accident in this world anyway? She felt like a cosmic joke.

"I didn't even fucking care that you lied, I was just happy you were finally mine and then I remember the times you insisted on condoms and I though why not fuck with him a little?” Chuckling in disbelief, she actually smiled through the tears but it was far from happiness on her face.

“Just to relieve some the tension and I don't even know why I took the test, probably because of what Grayson asked today, but no matter how badly I wanted kids with you, this isn't the way or time I wanted it to happen." Moving to the bed, Y/N let herself sit on the edge, folding her hands in her lap as she lets out a long, heavy sigh. Her sigh was of a softly deflating, it was as if a tension had lifted yet left her with a melancholy instead of relief.

"I love you. I really fucking do. I just don't like you right now."

Moira - a person’s fate or destiny

Ethan couldn't stay away any longer after finally hearing her say those words and mean them, no shooter with a gun to her head, no nothing. In fact, she said it after he royally fucked up, that's got to mean something, right? Moving toward her as if gravity itself demands it of him, Ethan knows this might end badly for him, but it's a risk he has to take. For her, he has to.

Kneeling down, he got in her line of sight and while she rolled her eyes at him at first, she fixed her gaze on him after.

"I was scared you'd leave me. That you'd run and I'd never see you again. And I fucked up, I should have told you and I just...the longer it went on, the harder it was to...justify it all. But none of it was justified, because I never stopped being afraid." Daring to lay his palm on her thigh, Ethan nearly smiles when she doesn't tense up or move away, allowing him a mercy he didn't feel worthy of. Fear is an incredibly powerful influence, it is also a disguised demon. But Y/N? She’s always been too kind, too patient and he never really knew why up until now – she loves him just as much he loves her.

"I understand why you didn't tell me. I do. I just wish you had more faith in what we share...in me. You were everything and I don't know how to go back to that? Was I ever just a girl you love or was I always the soulmate you felt the obligation to love?" And that hurt him. That insecurity, the doubt, the unwillingness to believe she is without a doubt the only woman he would ever love, it broke him.

"With or without it, I'd have lived a thousand years if it meant you'd be waiting for me in the end. There is no one, past or present, I would put before you. I love you, with everything I am - heart and twenty one grams of soul." Sniffling, Ethan laid his other palm on her leg as well, holding onto her as if she's his sole anchor to the world.

"And I fucked up, big time, and I'd love nothing more than to make it up to you and it's not how I planned it either, but I think we have a chance to make something beautiful here. If you’ll have me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you", leaning toward his nightstand, Ethan opened the drawer and pulled out a tiny black box. Never in his life had he felt like he couldn't breathe, as if his lungs are burning for their dying breath, but when her eyes widen as he adjusts his position, making sure he's on one knee as he should be, Ethan forgot how to breathe.

"Marry me." Mustering the words with the last of his strength he watched her in hope, aware this is yet another thing he didn't want to do quite like this but it felt right. If she needed to know how much he loves her, he would go the extra mile.

Most soulmates don't get married because why would they when fate had sealed their fates together anyway. But he wanted to do that. He wanted to show her his love is stronger than anything and that she isn't just his soulmate, but the love of his life - his best friend and lover and his favorite person. Without her, he didn't see a future at all.

“You want me to”, she paused, trying to say the next words calmly instead of freaking out as openly as her heart is, “marry you?”

Seeing him nod had only fueled the last bit of anguish inside her, but then he smiles so nervously, revealing just how scared he truly is and she doesn’t want to make it worse because she doesn’t even know what she wants to do with everything that had been revealed. It’s always been impossible to truly resist him, feeling as if it might kill her, but this time she didn’t want to resist. Y/N didn’t want to fight anymore. What she needed is Ethan, even if he’s the last person she should care for right now.

Reaching for the box, she takes it from him gently. Taking a moment to look at the beautiful ring, she swallows thickly before closing the box altogether. His lips part open as a quiet gasp leaves him, his eyes forming more tears as she sets the box back on the bed and turns to him.

“I don’t think we need to make major decisions right now. If it’s alright with you, I’d rather just go to bed – no talking, just you and me.” And he can hear just how defeated, how drained she is and he can’t even imagine what it is for her and how heavily the baby must be affecting her, so he doesn’t challenge her. Swallowing every word he wants to say, biting back his tongue, Ethan just nods as he sits up, next to her.

Wrapping an arm around her, Ethan pulls her into his side, holding tightly as her arms circle around him and hold him closer. He doesn’t wait, moving them back onto the bed, not leaving her for a single second. It might as well be the last time she allows him to hold her so close, so intimately that he can feel her heart beating against his chest and he won’t waste the chance. He didn’t care about anything but her love - he’d have her love him wrong if she can’t love him right. Anything, but to be away from her - this night or any other.

Instead of creating space, he kisses her forehead and while she tried her best not to, a fleeting smile appeared on her lips. Draping a leg over his, she hides her head just under his chin, resting it on his chest as his fingers thread through her hair at the back of her neck. And just like that, in their silence, Ethan and Y/N laid together until emotions settled and their eyes closed for the night – too in love to let each other go.

Metanoia (n.) - the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, way of life

When morning came, Y/N was surprised to find herself alone in bed. She figured Ethan must have been paged and while a pang of hurt, jealousy even, followed, she couldn’t be mad at him for that. After all, she understands it comes with the job and while she hoped he’d take the day off to figure things out and make a definite choice on what they will do moving forward, she sighed. He’s got her devotion, but she really hates him sometimes.

She doesn’t want to fight him, nor sleep alone ever again, but this isn’t just like any other fight – this is a big deal, possibly the biggest of them all. How can she forgive him? Is it fair to crave him like the very air she breathes at the same time as her heart is wide open, bleeding because of his actions? But then her hand lingers on her stomach and she almost smiles with the thought of a small part of him being with her now, even when he’s not really there.

Flinging an arm to the empty place beside her, she finds herself wishing his beautiful smile was there to make the day lighter. Even now, she wished for his arms around her, to hear him say he loves her most ardently.

Groaning, she shakes her head at her own stupid self. Perhaps now when she had experienced soulmate love, a part of her forgave her parents for the way they acted – not with her but each other. Her mother forgave his father for the worst of sins, something Y/N couldn’t fathom at the time, but she’s now in a similar situation and it’s exhausting being angry with him…especially when new life is growing inside her and it’s a part of the person she loves most in the world. And no matter how sudden and unexpected it all is, she would never be like her parents. Her child would never feel unwanted or abandoned, she swore it. Even if it’s probably just a clump of cells, she fell in love with the baby. Ethan fucked up, but this baby isn’t guilty of any sin. The baby is a gift, she decided. And she’ll make him suffer, but Ethan is a gift as well and eventually she’ll forgive him. She’ll be graceful, forgiving, become his warmth in the cold of his long, lonely life. People think that forgiveness is weakness, but it's absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive and if anything, Y/N had become a strong individual with so much love to give and she’d give it to him…and their baby.

Yawning, she stretched before sitting up, a little woozy but in need of food. She had barely had anything to eat yesterday and her growling stomach wasn’t shy about reminding her of that fact. However, as she put his shirt on, she found herself missing him dearly. Resting her cheek on her own shoulder just to feel his scent better, she realized just how ridiculous she is, yet she enjoyed it anyway.

Tiptoeing to the kitchen, she quickly realized she was sorely mistake. Ethan didn’t abandon her this morning at all, he was just trying to be… for the lack of a better word, Ethan.

The table is set, her favorite flowers in the middle, stacks of pancakes already prepared. She tilts her head to the opened fridge and a man’s ass being the only visible thing at this point and she’d know his ass anywhere. As the fridge closes, she’s met with a peculiar sight – his hands are full with different dressings, he’s even got a pack of cream in his mouth and she can’t help but shake her head at him fondly, gracing him with a small smile.

“Ey”, he manages something resembling a greeting, his eyes wider as if he got caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. She’s fast by his side, grabbing the pack from his mouth before she says “Hey” too. He can’t help but notice his shirt on her, but he thought it would be safer not to comment on it.

“Since eggs make you sick, I thought you might like pancakes.” Ethan shrugged with an innocent, but hopeful smile. Exhaling through her nose, Y/N raises an eyebrow.

“I’m fine with eggs, E. It was part of the…joke. But I won’t argue, I love pancakes.”

And so they ate, glancing at each other awkwardly and while it’s completely unacceptable, Ethan wished he’d let him touch her stomach. The baby’s merely a blob at this point, but he really wanted to feel her stomach, to feel connected to both of them.

“Do you think Grayson is free today?” Y/N breaks his inner monologue. Blinking fast, Ethan nods, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because I want to do a checkup. I want to know everything is in order.” And that’s when Ethan stopped blinking altogether. In fact, he barely swallowed the last piece without choking.

“You want my brother to”, he stopped before he made things worse but Y/N picked up on what he means easily, rolling her eyes at him in irritation.

“I want him to do the ultrasound if it’s possible, a few labs, not a vaginal examination. I’ll ask Addy for that.” She explains, making it very, very clear she had no intention of letting Grayson anywhere near her lady parts.

Nodding, Ethan texted Grayson immediately, making it clear he’s to clear his schedule if he needs to and right when breakfast was over, the pair got ready and went into the clinic.

“Can I be happy for you?” Grayson whisper shouted in excitement as he lead them inside the room, all but clapping like a little kid, trying his best to ignore the glare Ethan is trying to kill him with.

“I’m still very angry with you. What you can do for me is do an ultrasound.” Y/N sent him a glare of her own, definitely more dangerous than Ethan’s, enough to make Grayson pipe down and press his lips together to hide any possible excitement as Y/N laid down and bared her stomach for him. Ethan settled on the chair beside the bed, his hand taking hers, interlocking their fingers and while she did glance at him in surprise, she didn’t fight his touch, rather tightened her hold on his hand in response.

“Did you draw blood?” Grayson questions as he starts the examination, trying to ease the tension that suffocated him. It’s evident she isn’t happy with either of the twins, but he didn’t expect to take so much heat for this. They’ve been friends this entire time, he thought it would have eased her anger but it seems that’s exactly what fueled it. He should have pushed Ethan to tell her sooner rather than later, maybe then they’d be laughing as they’re doing something so significant, something he’s dreaming of. He can’t wait to meet his soulmate, to fall in love and have kids and be more than what he is now. It’s nice to have more time to travel the world and find yourself, but the past fifty years have been too much. He’s been ready for a while now, he just can’t wait for her to be ready too.

“Yes. It will be back in a few. They did me a favor and put it first for testing.”

“I know you’re mad at me, princess, but this is the first baby Dolan and I’m still excited to be an uncle.” Grayson points out, only making Y/N confused.

“Didn’t you say your sister found her soulmate and is happy in Australia?”

“She did. But she isn’t romantic with her soulmate. They live across the street, but she’s married to someone else. They adopted three kids though. But it’s been a while since she died. Cameron found her soulmate when she was thirty and they had fifty two years together. We see her grandkids though.” Ethan responded, somber as he remembers the sister he loved dearly even if they didn’t always get along. She was always closer to Grayson and he struggled most when she passed even though they watched her grow old and she was very, very happy. That’s the curse of living so long – you see those you care for find their happiness and die while you’re frozen at twenty. It’s what Grayson fears the most – watching his brother grow old and die while he’s stuck as he is now.

Grayson nods, confirming Ethan’s words before licking his lips and his eyes narrow, making Y/N frown. Something doesn’t feel right. Grayson is never quiet, even if he’s trying not to get himself killed by her and maybe it has something to do with remembering his sister, but he’s too focused on the screen and his forehead is starting to glisten from sweat. The guy didn’t shut up the whole time as he did a breast ultrasound, so why did he quiet down now?

“You’re quiet. I don’t like it.” She spoke up, craning her neck to try and see the monitor and Ethan did the same.

Clearing his throat, Grayson turned to her with a small smile.

“Just need more gel.” Adding more of the cool gel on her stomach, Grayson emerges himself further into the ultrasound just as a knock on the door makes Y/N gasp.

“It’s Addy, I have the labs.” It’s time for Ethan to sweat because while Y/N may be perceptive and see that his brother is acting weird, he’s been with him for over a hundred years and he knows when something is off right from the start. Ethan sighs as the doctor enters. The sigh that came was a signal, not of his resolve leaving but of the level his tension had reached. Doctors aren’t usually ones picking up results, especially not experienced ones like Abby. Perhaps it’s special treatment because it’s Y/N and well, him, but he couldn’t help the odd feeling inside his chest that something’s amiss.

“Hello, dear. I got the call from the laboratory, so I thought I’d pick these up for you.” She smiles sweetly at Y/N and only then notices how serious everyone is. Seeing Ethan’s hand in Y/N’s only makes her smile wider, showing just how happy she is for Ethan to have found someone like Y/N. Addy wouldn’t comment on it, but she was wishing them a bright future.

“Thank you, Addison.” Grayson nods at the iPad, gesturing for her to hand it over and she’s quick to do so before excusing herself, leaving them alone.

“I swear to God if you don’t start speaking, I will start breaking things.” Y/N’s voice is low and threatening and her eyes are hard, but it doesn’t make it easier for Grayson at all.

“Your blood-work shows higher levels of Beta HCG, something that would show in a pregnancy.” Grayson starts, only to get interrupted with a very relieved chuckle from Ethan who was getting worse at hiding his joy over the pregnancy with each passing moment.

“You scared me. I thought there was something wrong.” But Ethan’s smile died down when he noticed Grayson’s gloomy face. There was no hints of joy on his face at all, just confusion and worry.

“There is something wrong, isn’t it?” Y/N forced herself to say it, to hear herself admit it. She wants this baby so bad, even if it isn’t the right timing nor way, but she does want the baby. Just this morning she felt…lucky for being able to get pregnant after thinking it wasn’t in the cards for her. She felt hopeful, and she didn’t feel lonely anymore. With Ethan and a tiny Ethan around, she saw her future filled with smiles and now? She couldn’t grasp it. It felt like she lost everything.

“Say it.” She insisted, because she needed to hear it. She needed to know. And though he knew he shouldn’t, Grayson said it.

“I can’t find the heartbeat.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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#dolan twins #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan au #ethan dolan doctor soulmate au #ethan dolan doctor au #ethan dolan soulmate au #ethan dolan series

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