#and to this day some watt people me included still want to know more about the characters in terms of both their backstories and whatnot

[thewhizzyhead]

can't believe it's been two damn years since I got into watt and yet with every damn reminder that watt exists, my head still goes haywire over ideas on how watt can be adapted/improved/put to netflix

[sirfrogsworth]

The last thing my mom bought me was a fancy A/V receiver. She got some inheritance after her mom passed and wanted to do something nice for me since I took care of her and dad pretty much all by myself.

She died shortly after it arrived and I didn't even take it out of the box for over a year. I didn't hook it up until after my dad died. I don't know why I took so long. I guess for a long time it just didn't feel all that important anymore.

It has a lot of features and a lot of power and it seems really good... on paper.

The plan was to install 4 ceiling speakers and add two more floor speakers to get a 7.1.4 Dolby Atmos experience in my basement bedroom. I would be able to have sound come from literally every direction. (Well, not from below.)

That is still a plan, but I have had to postpone all of that due to budget cuts. The fancy receiver has been relegated to a measly 3.1 experience since I moved upstairs. I'm considering converting the upstairs living room into my home theater instead of my bedroom. I'd have a little more space and higher ceilings for the Atmos speakers, but I'd lose the concrete floor of the basement. So I'd have to figure out how to temper the vibrations of the subwoofer into our creaky floor.

ANYWAY.

The problem is... the actual day-to-day operation of this fancy receiver has been super quirky and frustrating.

The thing people may not realize about high end electronics is that they always have their issues. You'd think they'd be bug-free for that price, but it is usually quite the opposite. You have to figure out what all the bugs are and then research all of the workarounds in forums and eventually you'll learn a workflow to make the device function for your needs.

Part of the reason is that the higher the price, the more features they cram in, the more that can go wrong. But a lot of it is just poor software development. They focus almost all of their attention on getting the hardware right.

It's a maddening troubleshooting process and sometimes makes you want to buy that Sonos crap or maybe even... Bose. *shiver*

But this receiver has been *extra* buggy. I was a little disappointed by this. And I felt guilty for hating this wonderful gift my mom gave me. I have this Yamaha receiver that was a third of the price and it functions wonderfully.

Or maybe I just think that because I've already figured out all the quirks and workarounds.

No, I'm pretty sure the Yamaha has been a fairly smooth experience.

I kinda love my old Yamaha.

And I also love that they make pianos and motorcycles and drums and marching band equipment and sporting goods and boats.

Yamaha was all...

It's just that Yamaha doesn't have the Dirac calibration system included like the Onkyo and everyone on the forums said that was a big deal. So I abandoned the trusty Yamaha brand for Onkyo and it's 130 watts and 11 channels of processing and HDMI 2.1 future proofing.

The other day I noticed something extra weird with the Onkyo. My Nvidia Shield (another amazing yet frustrating device) was outputting a 5.1 signal. But my receiver thought it was stereo.

Another bug.

So I headed to the forums and found the solution. I had to turn off "Dolby processing" in a deep submenu of a submenu in my Shield settings. My receiver already does Dolby processing so I guess I was doing double Dolby processing and that is like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.

Weirdly, this fixed like half of my issues. I don't know how in the world I was supposed to know this one setting buried deep in the menus was causing all this havoc. But it has made me go from wanting to yeet this thing out the window and get a Bose clock radio... to mostly enjoying the experience of having a fancy receiver.

It still handles HDMI switching as if it is having a stroke, but I have found if you turn everything off and power on the Shield FIRST and then all the other components, I can prevent most of the stroke symptoms.

Though sometimes it takes 3 tries.

Onkyo: SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT??? WHAT'S THAT??

In any case, THANKS MOM!

I'm sure I will love your gift when I have 12 speakers blaring at me from every direction.

[veryrealimagination]

“It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”

Day No: 30

Prompt: Bridal Carry, "It's okay, just to say, 'I'm not okay.'"

Fandom: Murdoch Mysteries

Medium: fic

Trigger Warnings: none

SFW

James saw Watts’s leg give out on him when attending to the animals. The old wounds along his legs had been aggravated with the experiments Gillies performed to get more information on his mutated Jump Dancers and what they did. He insisted that he didn’t need the cane, having been limping around instead of asking for help.

When he fell, he carefully walked over. James had a small feeling that the young man might not take help the way he had in the past. The kidnapping and aftermath had caused several of the people in his life, himself included, to coddle him. Margaret brought over treats almost every day. Brackenreid escorted him to get projects and commissions. He helped him out during chores of the day. Murdoch and Julia were the only two to barely up their coddling. The man just quietly kept by him while he worked on commissions. Julia came out to the house to do her examinations instead of him going up to the clinic.

“Llewellyn,” he said.

“I’ll get myself up in a minute,” he protested.

He sighed, “Llewellyn, what are you trying to prove to everyone?”

His arms went around his chest and he knew he was touching on subjects that the young man didn’t want to talk about. “I’m not trying to prove anything. I can work. I’m fine.” Persephone managed to still sneak her way from the shed to force her way into his arms. A small bite to his finger and he started petting her into submission to stop more bites.

*Then you wouldn't be falling from merely walking.* He didn’t say that to his face. No, he would have gotten yelled at by an angry teen who would have then been a regretful teen who would have then been a mopey teen that would try harder to do things by himself without backup. Who then would have hurt himself more afterwards.

“Right, sun couch time,” he decided. The sun couch was Murdoch’s way of ‘testing’ dyes that he found or came up with before making some to sell to the clothing makers. It had come out of Abandoned Ruins One as a pink monstrosity before he managed to strip the original color and turned it the brightest of yellows. Then, there ended up being some red and orange, green, blue, some sort of brown, tested on the poor thing. It sat around the back, pointed toward the sea.

It was also good, because James could only get so far.

Before he knew it, James had an arm under his knees and around his back. “James,” Llewellyn yelped, holding the lamb with one hand and getting a grip with the other. He held himself extremely still before being sat on the couch. Then the man was sitting next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

He liked the warmth. Liked the presence of someone next to him. Llewellyn did want someone nearby. His aunt and uncle were almost cloying, and he usually never felt that way at all around his family, but after the events with James Gillies, he just couldn’t stand most of the people in his life. It wasn’t the same thing as being brought back from Duvos.

“I’m fine,” he whispered. Persephone had fallen asleep, letting him hold her head. “I’m fine.”

“You wouldn’t need to say it if it were true,” he said. The sigh that came out of him was slightly wet. “James Gillies is known for what he’s pulled off in the past. He’s known for what’s he’s done to Murdoch, to Julia, to even me and a couple of Civil Corps members. Knowing that he had you for days, testing things, playing with you. Everyone is concerned about how much is affecting you.”

He sniffled. “It’s not that bad.”

“Llewellyn.”

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” The little lamb sitting in his hand bleated softly. “I’m not…” It was a ragged gasp that he heard that made James want to wrap him in blankets and not let him out for a month.

“It’s okay.” He wrapped his arm around him when a couple of tears managed to get out. “It’s okay to not actually be fine. It’s okay to not be okay.”

“This isn’t even as bad as Duvos,” he complained.

“Duvos was impersonal. James Gillies has always been personal, and a tad creepy about it.” There was a snort, but he felt more tears when his face turned into his shoulder. “You’re not okay now. It’s fine, you’ll be okay later.”

There was a snort. “That sounds corny.”

“I was told it by a friendly ear.” The next sound was a groan. “I’m full of these. I’ll pop them off all night.”

“Cruel and unusual.” He didn’t move, thought, and James continued looking at the water while Llewellyn calmed down.

[the-firebird69]

Heart - "Barracuda" (1977)

It does have a point he was having other people go after the clans Including the max and it was to take the Klan things so he just sits there and has people pointed out and then he tries to go take it. Now this guy is trying to feel the pinch a little pretty soon he's gonna turn into a moron animal and try and hit people and the guy next door doesn't seem to care because he knows he's a moron. It's trying to really bother me that people can't see what this **** loser Joel Watts is up to. I will explain it to my people over and over and telling them why he's a **** **** and they can't freaking get it this guy trump has no edges he's like round it means he doesn't fight for himself either and you see him getting killed all the time I don't have anytime for people like this he is a complete waste of time and he's endangering our friend here to the point where he has to actually have a lot of power. It seems that he could easily do it because you probably can no it's not that easy but this **** is trying to make you look that way and just sitting there teaching him and he says he doesn't have anymore to teach and it's actually true it's empty because he's not so bright and the system suck and I'll tell you what I am sick of hearing about this guy and he says I have to live with it all day long people have stuck me here with the scourge of your society and he's ruining your society and it's not going to ruin mine because I know what he's doing and he's ruining everybody else's plan and he's not going to ruin mine because I sit here listening to the **** coming out for beat him when he wants to happen and I contrary he runs around threatening and nothing else is happening every day it's really easy pattern So I'm looking at him wondering why this is AI boy he doesn't have it but he believes he does and we go over the same thing everyday in the same stupid **** **** is doing the same stuff so everybody can blow it out their **** and I'm just going to take everything he says that's true too that's what he's doing and everybody's sitting around thinking it's happy hunky **** Dory and there's a lot of stuff we could do other than what we're doing. Heading to the torture of him and us to facilitate this absolute loser we just kind of sits there doing practically nothing why do that and the simple and shortened and long of it is somebody planned for us to have a war against his people and we're not supposed to. And it might be the Mac proper we've been trying to grab them for a long time and they figured if they hold them hostage they're holding them hostage anyways there's a way to look at it but it's causing massive problems this guy Joe is one of them and he is a stupid **** **** so I'm going ahead and we're gonna try and figure out what this ship is if anything and we're getting to it

mac daddy

an we prvent it as planned.  and hit trump he is so dumb he speaks out of turn.  and tons of his willd ie today as they looked at stuff wait and they say it need it.

we use this now .  the caverns in florida sizzle..and now.  are filling.  and about half no it is about 50% of those on the shoreline. and a quarter tht remain are being hard fought over.  once they ae done fighting and today some time and vrious victors.  they take it out and in theprocess fillit and more sizzle tommmorow almost the whole shoreline andneed it badly.  

the three in the park sink.  and down another foot last night. dissappears soon.

the ohters to follow yes. and soon. and nearby as in the mouth of charlotte harbor will sink and in a few days.  and a huge day ok down two feet no it is still six inches. makes a difference. but soon a huge one. and the damn there is only two foot five hinches  by four and has though four large ravincs four foot by two by four and will empty fast today.  and rip more out. soon all of it.

large groups seek to be  here.  and head in.  now. tons are at trump. and yes his cities fall. and tons of his go there and die.  not long on a few and then all.  about two weeks they will be gone.  one week on nuke bunkers and five on stashes.  his areas of operatoin go now.  and quickly as they evacute

the midwest is emptying at the southwest.  tons of people will form after they exit as they shal see us startup factories. for proucts ok.  we proceed today and prep.  it wont be long. yet the psuedo empire is tere and has to leave.  they fall now too.

and they are out sity five percent in the west.  soon more but yes it is horrendous for them.  tht is  lot.  and today they try to move in reinvigorate start the defunct bunkers and bases. and nope.  the east is at about sixty percent.  after today seventy percent out.  it will be long and hard.  an are at it now.  hard.  and they both lose and tons of troops now today.  it grows.  the numbers are huge.  and almsot sizable still under one percent.  

Total losses of the Morlock of all kinds are going to skyrocket they all have these separatist cities they're all embroiled then they're getting sucked there all over the world it is a disaster for them they are going to be destroyed and they should be aware of it but they're not. We anticipate that starting today they will lose a percent off their whole population that will continue and it will increase daily sometimes by a whole percent and it will not go the other way as huge forces enter their cities and giant forces go to their areas and remove them. It is going to be a horrendous month for them and it started off in a bad way this process is going to be natural no it's really the Morlock court driving it at this point their cities have sanctions on them and they are big no oil no gas no food no water and no supplies and no equipment for anything basically you cannot send anything there and if you caught doing it you get arrested and shot for being a terrorist and that's global and that movement is becoming very huge

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zus

and tons say it stop talkng about it and stop the fool nope

Hera ahahah lol

[godlytransurfer]

Associating prior and recent studies: Neville Goddard and Alan Watts

Before we begin I continue to credit @diorbabe66 and @multiversebaddie for the inspiration they gave me to go back to these concepts for some insight and peace of mind besides my own reflection ahah.

As we continue to discuss the fact that obviously we are always manifesting, no wonder we can access to the void at any time even when awake, since it is literally within us. I found that years prior, one good way of figuring this out (even though you already naturally know how to effortlessly do it) was to focus on how the nature we already know, from people to other living beings, the planets, the space and the whole cosmos works harmoniously and was made from all the same thing, no wonder we can influence it. As we all know, Neville and our experiences within the community have shown us that even beyond this level, we can then go further and further into ignoring logic itself and shift continuously in more apparent “drastic” ways, even by skipping a bridge of events. The reason I came to post this amazing lecture of Alan is so we can understand how we naturally are always everything, so no wonder we can always influence it and get to the void at any time wether you are in the middle of your day or not, wether you use some level of logic or not. It was inevitably going to happen anyways, because you are everything and everything is making itself move.

Your brain will gain confidence on this system of how things work and take it as factual effortlessly, and you can use it so it will naturally escalate into limitless levels inevitably. So even logically we can understand why we are the void and everything itself! I am not posting this because Neville isn’t enough, I just personally found that I was able to focus on my inner world with a lot more discipline and ease as a beginner by associating these two parts of what is deep down almost the same concepts. It also helped me in maintaining a better self image and self concept in long lasting ways, as well as stable moods, feelings and thoughts, which overall even helps with your health. In my opinion, by being aware of all this from the most basic to the most impressive influence you can have on things, you will find that your changes in mindset and life that you have been manifesting have a way smoother, happy sailing like path, even thought obviously we can manifest our desires no matter what! Before we go into the lecture I would also like to emphasize that by ego, I’m pretty sure what Alan means here is the concept you have of yourself as human, but also regarding a bit to the exterior world. There is nothing wrong with obviously having a solid concept of who you are as a human in this experience, what isn’t so recommended is perhaps to deeply identify yourself with either taking external factors as decisive of who you are as a person, since it all comes from within as Neville and the whole Law of Assumption community have pointed out. The point of sharing this lecture is to make us notice that even when you change your concept of self and become exactly the human you wish to be, who experiences exactly what they want to experience - you are still everything, and you have always been. You are, and you will always be it, and the void. For the void is not empty but full and complete already, and that is why creation is finished and manifestation is instant! Now let’s dive in!

From “The False Idea of Who You Are” by Alan Watts

“But when you don’t think about it, it goes on. Is it voluntary or involuntary? And so we come to a very arbitrary definition of self: that much of my activity which I feel I do. And then doesn’t include breathing most of the time, it doesn’t include heartbeat, the activity of the glands, it doesn’t include digestion, it doesn’t include how you shape your bones, circulate your blood... do I do or do I not do these things? Now if you get with yourself, and find out you are all of yourself, a very strange thing happens. You find that your body knows that you’re one with the universe. In other words, that the so called involuntary circulation of your blood is one with the continuous process with the stars shinning. If you find out it’s you who circulates your blood, you will at the same moment find out that is you who is shining the sun. Because your physical organism is one continuous process with everything else that is going on: just as the waves are continuous with the ocean, your body is continuous with the total energy system of the cosmos. And it’s all you, only you’re playing the game that you’re only this bit of it. But as I try to explain, there are in physical reality no such things as separate events. Doesn’t it astonish you that you are this fantastically complex thing? And that you’re doing all of this and you never had any education in how to do it? That you never learned but you’re this miracle? Well the point is, from a strictly physical, scientific standpoint, this organism is a continuous energy with everything else that is going on. And if I am my foot, I am the sun.

Only we got this little partial view that I am something in this body: the ego... that’s a joke. The ego is nothing but the focus of conscious attention, it’s like a radar on a ship. The radar in the ship is a troubleshooter: “Is there anything in the way?” And conscious attention is a designed function in the brain to scan the environment like a radar does, and knowing for any troublemaking changes. But if you identify yourself with your troubleshooter, then naturally you identify yourself as being in a perpetual state of anxiety. And the moment we cease to identify with the ego and become aware that we are the whole organism, you realize first thing how harmonious it all is, because your organism is a miracle of harmony! (...)

So if you awaken from this illusion, you can feel yourself. Not as a stranger in the world, not as something here on probation, not as something that has arrived here by fluke, but you begin to feel your existence as something absolutely fundamental. What you are basically, deep deep down, far far in is simply the fabric at structure of existence itself. So in this idea, everybody is fundamental. The ultimate reality. Not god in a politically kingly sense but god in the sense of being the self, the deep down basic whatever there is. And you’re all that, only you’re pretending you’re not.”

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

[itsclydebitches]

re: that ask you posted a couple days ago about the male and female representation in RWBY, part of what makes RWBY's whole 'girl power' thing ring exceptionally hollow to me is the fact that there are like... no women in positions of real power in remnant. like at all. except the big bad.

winter is second in command to james. glynda is second in command to ozpin. all of the headmasters are men (for no discernible reason, imo; why theodore and not dorothea?). the leader of the ace ops was a white man (and then winter seemed to take over clover's position instead of either of the women of color on the team, and she was still second to james). RWBY is an all girl team, but JNPR was led by a boy despite a girl arguably being far more qualified (pyrrha). the happy huntresses are all women, and robyn had no real power to speak of--she didn't even manage to win the election, because jacques rigged it, and then the council ceased to matter. there was one (1) woman on the council, but she was so inconsequential that i can't even remember her name. (i suppose we're lucky it was the guy and not her who james shot lol) jacques controls the SDC instead of willow, even though he's not even a schnee by blood and actually married into the family for power. (and we don't even know how he got it over his wife.)

and then there's the white fang, which ghira led and not kali--and it's ghira who leads menagerie itself, while kali seems to be a housewife. sienna had five minutes of screentime before being brutally killed and her position assumed by adam, a man. cordovin is basically a one off lackey we haven't even thought about before or since. neo was second to roman. you have cinder, sure, who is a second but to salem, a woman, and raven as the leader of the branwen tribe--but what does it really say about your 'girl power' narrative when the only women with genuine systemic power in your world are villains or antagonists with massive bodycounts??

atla has the same sort of problem--a couple great female characters, but all the leadership positions are men (except the kyoshi warriors, an all girls group, and even then the leader of their island is an old man) and the one female mentor figure also turns out to be evil--but it at least has some great writing to help overlook that fact, and it came out in the mid-00's and so has some sort of excuse of being a product of its time. but rwby didn't even start until 2013 and it's still going and still making these kinds of decisions well into 2021.

where is this supposed girl power, exactly? am i really supposed to overlook the very patriarchal worldbuilding just because the title characters are girls?

That's an excellent summary of the situation, anon, and as with so much in RWBY, it comes down to the full context. Any one of these examples isn't necessarily going to mean much on its own. It's when you look at the pattern that you can start making a case for those conclusions: Why is the show marketed on "girl power" set in a world where men hold the vast majority of that power? And, more importantly, why is that setup not the point? We could easily have a story where that lopsided gender dynamic is the problem that the girls are looking to fix, but... that story doesn't exist. Like the problems discussed with Jaune, the supposed point here exists only on the surface. Dig just the tinniest bit — the above — and you hit on a lot of structural problems with this "girl power" world.

To add just a few details to what you've already said:

Salem indeed has power, but she's never allowed to fully use it. Each volume the frustration with this grows as Salem accumulates more abilities and then just sits on them. From literally hiding out for a thousand years to worries that she won't use the Staff in Volumes 9-10, Salem really isn't allowed to be the threat she's presented as on the surface. And yes, this is absolutely due in part to the "She's too OP and the writers don't know how to let her be that powerful while still having the heroes win" issue, but again, context. That problem doesn't exclude others occurring simultaneously.

Same double explanation with Summer. Yes, dead moms are an incredibly common trauma to dump on a protagonist, but it still left Yang and Ruby with Tai as their primary influence. And Qrow. The uncle becomes the extended family influence while Raven is the absent one/eventual antagonist. It's personal power as opposed to political power, but Tai, Qrow, Ozpin, formerly James... most of the mentors are men. Maria, a key exception, has been ignored in that regard. The story announced that she was Qrow's inspiration, setup her being Ruby's new mentor, and then... nothing. Nothing has come of that. She disappeared for a volume and then went off to Amity and was literally forgotten by the story when evacuating everyone was the finale's whole point.

Like that Endgame moment I mentioned, the Happy Huntresses feel a little too forced to me. Yes, it's the same basic idea as in ATLA, but ATLA, as you say, has a lot more going for it. The Happy Huntresses feel... on the nose? Idk exactly how to explain it. Like, "Here they are! Another team of all women! Isn't this how progressive storytelling works? Just ignore how this is a one-off team of minor characters compared to the world building issues discussed above." And if you're not paying attention, you miss just how insignificant they are, with a side of Robyn being, well, Robyn. The Kyoshi Warriors, at least, are based off of Kyoshi. A woman avatar who is a significant part of their history. That is, presumably, why they're an all women warrior group (but who notably still teach Sokka). The Happy Huntresses are all huntresses because...? There's no reason except that meta "We want to look progressive" explanation. Just like having all the women superheroes team up for a hot second so people get excited and ignore the representation problems across, what? 21 films? Don't get me wrong, I love that May is among the Happy Huntresses. I think including her in the explicitly all-women group was one of the better things RWBY has done in a long time, but the rest is still a mess.

RWBY is arguably about these smaller groups as opposed to systematic power (despite the writers trying to work that in with things like the White Fang and the election. Not to mention the implication that everything in Atlas is fine now that evil Ironwood has died and taken the symbol of wealth (the city) with him. We saw a human holding hands with a faunus after all. Racism and corruption solved, I guess.) So yes, our group is dominated by women... but Whitley is the one saving Nora, helping to defeat the Hound (plus Willow), thinking of the airships, and providing the blueprints they need to escape. Salem is our Big Bad, except Ironwood is the one the volume focuses on. Ruby is our leader, but Jaune is the one leading the group into the whale and getting praised for how heroic he is. Ren does more to shake things up, even if he's painted as the one in the wrong. Oscar gets to confront Salem and destroys the whale threat. Ozpin provides the information they need to evacuate. Meanwhile, when the girls do things in Volume 8 it's almost always followed by a long-stint of passiveness. Nora opens the door so she can be unconscious for most of the volume. Penny keeps Amity up so she can also be unconscious for a good chunk of time. Ruby sends her message and then sits in a mansion. Blake fights so she can tearfully beg Ruby to save her. Weiss, as said, takes a backseat to Whitley (and Klein). They forward the plot, absolutely, but comparatively it doesn't feel like enough.

It's that pattern then, no one specific example. More and more the personal power, not just the systematic power already built into Remnant, seems to be coming from the men. Not all the time, but enough that scenes like the tea drinking moment feel like a part of a much larger problem. Pietro taking control, Watts hacking, and Ambrosius literally remaking her when Penny is supposed to already be in control of herself and her fate. Winter being presented as the active mentor to Weiss, only to turn around and claim that Ironwood was actually responsible for everything. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and May straight up commenting on how awful things are out there while Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Oscar lead the charge against Salem — with the latter three doing the most to forward that mission (no fear, semblance, cane). As others have only half-joked, Yang's supposedly badass moment was bringing up a mother she's ignored for six volumes and briefly blowing up the immortal woman for a couple of seconds (with Ironwood's bombs). Even Marrow is arguably the most significant Ace Op after Clover. Vine isn't actually a character, Elm slightly less so, Harriet is there to go crazy and try to drop a bomb (notably before admitting to never-before-existed feelings for Clover), but Marrow? He's the one who breaks out. Who is meant to heroically stand up against Ironwood. Who comments on how awful it is that teenagers are fighting and, regardless of how messed up the moral messages are, is supposedly pushing for active change while all the women in his group, including Winter, insist on maintaining the status quo. Look at all these choices as a whole, it makes throwaway worldbuilding choices like "All the Maidens are women" feel pretty hollow. Why does it matter if Amber is a Maiden if she dies in a flashback so Ozpin can struggle to pass on the power? If Pyrrha dies before becoming one so Jaune can angst about it? If Raven is one and then disappears from the story entirely? If Winter has enough power to break Ironwood's aura, but supposedly had no power throughout every other choice she made getting here? If Penny is one, but is continually controlled by men and then asks another man to help her die? It's just really unconvincing, once you look past the surface excitement of a woman looking cool with magic powers.

When you do consider the whole of the story — both in terms of our world building and who is forwarding the plot in the latter volumes, getting the emotional focus, being proactive, etc. — there are a lot of problems that undermine the presumed message RT wants to write. They say, "girl power" by marketing RWBY with these four women, but too many of the storytelling decisions thoroughly undermine that, revealing what's likely a deeply ingrained, subconscious bias.

[doubleleoenergy]

Whatever You Like

Yeah, I want your body, I need your body. Long as you got me, you won't need nobody.

Pairing: sugardaddy!Sam Wilson x latina!fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of alcohol, daddy kink, pet names (bonita, mi amor), passionate sex, wall sex, mentions of impregnation

Summary: Newly engaged y/n and sugardaddy!Sam are celebrating their enagement party with their loved ones.

Notes: This is my submission for @balenciagabucky​‘s/@dulceslibrary  3k writing challenge.

“Here comes y/n.” Tony announced, cocking his head in the direction of the glass staircase. 

Sam turned at Tony’s statement, excusing himself from the group as he waltzed across the floor to meet her at the end of the stairs. His eyes followed her every move as she sashayed down the steps, her hips swaying as she walked. Her body was enveloped in a tight red sparkly dress, a plunging neckline and thin straps drawing attention to her voluptuous breasts. Her nails were freshly manicured to match her toes peeking out of her strappy black stilettos, clicking against the glass steps as she walked down towards Sam.

She flashed one of her million-watt smiles at him, his hand reaching out to grab hers and help her down the final steps. 

“Stunning as ever, my bonita.” Sam gushed, moving his hand up high to give her a spin, his eyes running over her entire body as she did a 360 turn for him.

“You’re not so bad yourself, mi amor.” Y/N purred, the words rolling off her tongue before she leaned up on her tippy toes to kiss his lips.

Sam hadn’t met y/n in a conventional way, the only people who knew the truth were Sarah and the team. He knew that there were plenty of women who would die to be with him, with Captain America, but he wanted someone special. Someone he could trust with his crazy life. After swiping through multiple dating apps and going on a few horrendous dates, he saw an ad for a sugar baby dating site.

He signed up on a whim, more so curious as to what a sugar baby lifestyle entailed. There were lots of women on the site and even some men, most with profile pictures of them in scantily clad outfits with large fur coats and diamond jewelry. Searching through the profiles he came across one that stood out among the rest. Y/N’s profile included a picture you would see on Facebook; y/n in a baby blue bodycon dress, standing by the countertop of a bar holding a beer and smiling that infectious smile. Her profile read: “Not sure how any of this works, my friend told me to sign up. Just looking to put myself through nursing school. I’m not going to respond if you’re super old. I also know self-defense so don’t try anything.”

Sam liked that she was different, that she had ambition, that she was a normal twenty-one-year-old just trying to make ends meet. He knew what that was like in life, and so he asked her out for a coffee date. That coffee date turned into a second coffee date, and then a dinner date. And one year later it turned into an engagement. Y/N was everything he could’ve ever wanted and more. She was selfless, intelligent, a feisty Latina who with a bat of her long lashes could get him to bend in any argument. She was a great cook, an amazing nurse, and phenomenal in the bedroom. 

He never felt taken advantage of in their relationship, she was always up front and honest about what she wanted, and when things turned into more, he never for a second thought she was using him for money. He spoiled her with clothes, jewelry, and flowers, despite her protests on only needing money for school. Sam wanted to offer her everything in the world and would continue to do so for the rest of their lives together.

Sam led y/n over to the team, grabbing them each a glass of champagne from a nearby server, his hand on the small of y/n’s back as they walked.

“There’s the happy couple!” Steve cheered, patting Sam’s shoulder as he stood beside them. He raised his glass high in the air, gesturing for the rest of the team to do the same. “Y/N, I’ve never seen Sam as happy as he has been over the past year with you. Just having you in his life has made him a better person. Plus, he looks much better with you by his side.” Steve teased. “To a lifetime of happiness for you both.” Everyone clinked their glasses together, Sam smiling proudly as he took a sip from his glass.

“Couldn't have said it better myself.” Bucky added, crossing his arms over his chest, his metal arm shining in the light of the chandelier.

“So, have you guys decided on a date yet?” Nat questioned, grabbing a mini muffuletta off a nearby tray and chewing thoughtfully on it as she made eye contact with y/n.

“We’re thinking sometime in the spring, possibly April, back in Louisiana. Sarah already offered to make all of the food for the reception.” Y/N responded, looking up lovingly at Sam.

“That way we don’t get as much of the Louisiana heat. Nothing worse than wearing a full suit and sweating through it within twenty minutes of being outside. It’ll be small, mostly just the team and some family friends from back home.” With y/n and Sam’s parents both deceased, they didn’t have much family to attend. To them it was more than okay, the day would be filled with love regardless.

The celebration continued late into the evening, everyone leaving on their own accord besides the team, who had gathered sharing stories of the good old days and successful missions. Y/N sat on the armrest of the couch; her legs draped over Sam’s body. Her nails ran up and down his chest absentmindedly as she listened to their stories.

Her eyes focused on Sam’s body, the way his navy button up clung to his arms, his muscles taut against the fabric. His black slacks were tight enough to reveal the outline of his cock, teasing and taunting y/n all night with just the sight of it.

Y/N’s lips danced against Sam’s ear, her voice a low and seductive whisper. “Meet me upstairs in five minutes. Don’t make it obvious.” And with that y/n excused herself, letting the group know that she was headed to the restroom. 

Stepping into the elevator, y/n headed up to the second floor, leaning against the wall as she waited for Sam. Five minutes passed, the ding of the elevator making her lips curl into a bewitching smile, the doors opening to reveal Sam, his eyes blown wide with lust. Y/N tilted her head in the direction of a nearby door, her heels clicking against the tile floor as she turned the knob, walking into one of the many guest bedrooms on that floor.

Sam followed close behind, shutting the door behind them and locking it. He wasted no time, pushing y/n against the bedroom wall, his hands sweeping over her body as his lips crashed against hers. His lips trailed down the supple skin of her neck, inhaling her intoxicating perfume as he kissed down her collarbone. He peppered kisses along her exposed cleavage, a whine escaping her lips.

“We’ve don’t have much time mi amor, been thinking about your cock all night, I need it.” She pleaded, her hands moving down to unbuckle his belt and free his thick cock.

A low hum vibrated deep in his chest, helping her push his trousers down, kicking them aside as his left hand snaked under her dress, a dark chuckle leaving his lips. “You’re not wearing any panties, my bonita.”

His fingers swiped against her slit, feeling them coated with her juices, pushing her dress up to bunch it around her waist. “Soaked already for me, I need to fill this tight pussy.”

And with that Sam parted her legs with his thigh, his hands moving to grip the back of her thighs before tugging her up. Y/N wrapped her legs instinctively around his waist, crashing their lips together again as she felt his cock rub against her folds.

“Please mi amor,..” She panted, trying to buck her hips down on his cock.

“Say it.” Sam commanded, teasing her folds with the tip.

“Please daddy.” The words send shivers down Sam’s spine, lining up his cock and sliding her down onto him, filling her pussy. He felt her stretching around him, letting her adjust to his size before pulling her up off his cock and slamming her back down.

“So, fucking tight, how are you so tight when I fill this cunt day and night with my cock?” He continued to bounce her up and down, her back rubbing against the wall with each thrust. Her hands were wrapped tight around Sam’s neck, her nails digging into the skin.

“Can’t wait to marry you, to fill you up with my cock for the rest of our lives. Want to fuck a baby into you.” Y/N mewled, peppering kisses along his jawline.

“You like that idea, huh? My bonita.” He can feel her walls tightening around him, a sign of her orgasm building up. “Cum for me, make a mess on daddy’s cock.”

He thrusted once, twice, three times before she came, her legs shaking around his waist and her eyes rolling back into her head as she released. Sam continued to fuck her through her high, his own orgasm following quickly after hers. He stilled inside of her, holding them against the wall for a moment before he gently pulled her off his cock, a mix of their cum dripping down her thigh.

“I love you so much Sam.” She cooed, kissing him once more. He cupped her face, resting his forehead against hers. 

“I love you too, bonita. Now let’s clean up and get back down to the party, we’ve got a lot to celebrate.”

[kitkatopinions]

So let me get this straight: Hazel after killing all the huntsmen in Mistral and brutalising Oscar for most of v8 (and people dont come with "Ozpin took most of it" its still Oscars body???? Hello????) gets an redemption via death but Ironwood who we know since v2 and was always an ally and a really cool character till v8 dies as a iredemable villain???? How? Why? Its just so dumb... love you blog btw

You know, this reminds me of seeing posts that were like ‘RWDE posters are mad about Ironwood not getting redeemed and yet they don’t like Hazel or Emerald being redeemed???’ And just... Yes, Kathy, the two are incredibly different.

Ironwood has been a hero for seasons who has displayed flaws and made mistakes but was not ever treated as a possible future villain by the narrative, and he was treated as pure evil before he tried to do anything more evil than ‘saving the people he can since he can’t save everyone,’ but then started getting pushed into the maniacal heartless abuser villain role at lightspeed within one season + one episode of the show and (I cannot stress this enough) two or three days of in show time. Our main characters treated him like a monster without knowing about the more villainous actions for the better part of the season, without any of them wondering if there was some mistake, no sympathy given to the fact that Ironwood had his back against the wall or was suffering from mental strain or a horrible injury, no recognition of anything that the mains did badly that maybe contributed to the situation they were in. His ‘fall to villainy’ was outlandish, over the top, out of character, and lacking in any real emotional depth, they blamed him for all of Mantle’s problems despite him having done his very best to ‘go for both’ and Jacques Schnee and Watts being the actual ones responsible for the state of Mantle - as well as huge systemic issues that Jacques was purposefully trying to preserve. He then was (most likely) killed off by the writers who then laugh at how it was ‘always planned’ while no single person in the group of protagonists gives a care.

And on the flipside, you have Emerald and Hazel! Both of them spent seasons being three times worse than James at his worst (seriously, he at least had good intentions.) Emerald and Ironwood’s direct kill count is the same (one,) and Emerald contributed to the deaths of hundreds more at the Fall of Beacon, knowing what it would lead to, and only gives small, rare indications that she feels remorse for it (it’s almost sad.) And Hazel is hinted at being responsible for many of the deaths in Haven and spent his time blaming Ozpin for the fact he was actively trying to murder children. Both of them continued their villainy right up until the very season they got redeemed as they both continued working with Salem to bring down yet another kingdom and while Hazel was beating a fifteen year old, Emerald was eagerly volunteering to help Cinder try and murder Penny yet again. And then when it was revealed that Salem wanted to destroy everything including them, they turned out of self preservation without apologizing for their terrible, harmful, murderous actions. And then the narrative acts like Hazel was some martyr who taught Oscar a valuable lesson about not letting anyone else die and isn’t it sad he died before he could do the bare minimum to earn any sort of redemption. And Emerald winds up having friendly laughs and getting endearingly teased by the people she’s arguably hurt the most, with the girl she’d murdered right there laughing with them. And now she can get away with now being part of the group without any indication she’s changed, no apology, anyone that protests her involvement being scolded for their lack of trust...

One of these things is an incredibly badly handled hero-to-villain story, where they failed to get the beats of emotional depth for a fallen hero arc and rushed it instead without care, leaving it feeling out of character and out of the blue despite the small bit of groundwork that they had in place for the narrative.

The other two are incredibly badly handled villain-to-hero stories, where they failed to get the beats of emotional depth for good redemption arcs and rushed them instead without care, leaving them feeling very insincere and out of the blue despite the small bit of groundwork that they had in place for the narratives (mostly on Emerald’s side, Hazel gave less indication.) 

Also we weren’t playing Yankee Swap, we didn’t trade in James as a hero for Emerald or Hazel, we just had three characters who were all handled badly.

But yeah, it’s really weird that the same volume where the writers were trying to force us to sympathize with Hazel was also trying to force Ironwood into an irredeemable category. The thing is, if I didn’t know about James’ never-mentioned-in-show semblance, I’d not be down for a post volume 8 redemption because I think trying to kill children and actively wanting to torture people as a full grown adult is kind of hard to get redeemed from. But Hazel did that, Hazel is just as if not MUCH MORE evil than Ironwood, so why on earth did the series treat Hazel as redeemable and kind of right and just needing a hand of mercy extended to him? Why was James ‘keep soldiers off the battlefield, turn my gun around because I don’t want to hurt Qrow even though I think he’s trying to murder me, look away from the Grimm while I shoot it’ Ironwood treated as the 100% deserving of pain and death and treated as totally irredeemable villain no one could sympathize with?

When you factor in his semblance it really just makes even less sense. I literally cannot comprehend why the RWBY writers do what they do. Also, thank you so much for the compliment on my bog! Sorry to kind of rant there haha. XD 

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 138

It’s timmmmme y’alllll.... Food Festival, whaaaat!?

Okay, I know.... I love to cook, and there is a lot of food in this story. But I really do believe in Sophia’s philosophy - It’s the universal unifier.  There would seriously be so much more world peace if world leaders regularly ate dinner together.

I solemnly promise to try to keep food out of the next 4 chapters after the Food Festival. Promise. (Unless y’all tell me via PM, Ask, Comment, or Reblog to do otherwise.  And I would need a slightly more than 50% ratio of requests compared to likes. Just to be fair).

The morning of the opening ceremonies for the Food Festival, my nerves were cranked even higher than the days leading up.  Since I was insisting on attending all three days - which were expected to be crowded - I had bribed Antoine with his favorite breakfast to disable my proximity alerts.  As much as I hated doing it, I knew it would be too distracting to be in a crowd and have it constantly going off.

What this meant was, an hour into the Festival, I had already strained something in my neck by snapping my head around trying to keep my eye on all several-thousand people at the same time.  Conor grabbed my shoulders and tried to steer me toward a vendor while using his broad shoulders and height to block anyone behind me.  My anxiety level instantly dropped noticeably, and I was actually able to enjoy the miniature kebabs from the vendor. Conor had to take his hands of my shoulders to take his, but I noticed that he made a point to keep himself between me and any passerby who seemed to not be paying attention. We made it to one of the seating areas, and he managed to hold the curtain back, making me giggle embarrassingly.

“I just realized that we did everything backwards,” Conor said nonchalantly, stripping his skewer in one bite but at least covering his mouth while he chewed.

My immediate thought was that he meant the Festival somehow, but I had known and lived with Conor for far too long to assume.  Even after this long, he was still capable of shocking me with how his mind worked. “What did we do backwards?”

He gestured between us. “This. Us.”

I thought about it. “I don’t think so? We were friends first.”

“Yeah, we were arse backward,” he laughed. “The only thing we did right was being friends first. But then we went through a crisis where you met our future boyfriend - before we were together, mind  - and I almost lost you. Then I moved in, then Mav moved in. We all got sick, someone else wanted to kill you, then we went on our first date….”

My head dropped back as I erupted in laughter. “Okay, okay! You win! We did everything ass backward!” I finally took a bite of my food while he winked at me and snuck a sip of my drink.

“I forgot the part about meeting your family before we were even together. That was still a thing, right? Meeting the family?”

Still laughing, I shrugged. “I made a point after I turned seventeen not to date anyone who didn’t get along with Tyche.” I could see math in his head and preempted the next question. “Yes, that means I trusted my twelve year old sister’s judgement, even when we weren’t talking.”

“Clearly, I am her favorite,” he grinned.

“She couldn’t decide between you and Maverick, so I had to go with both.” 

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me from my seat as I bit the last piece of kebab off the skewer. “I concede in the face of her superior taste.”

“So should we all,” I grinned as he pulled me out into the crowd.

This time, with a somewhat established way of navigating the crowd, I was able to pretend I was a normal person in a crowd, dragging her boyfriend from place to place.  Randomly, we would see people we know, stop, chat for a second, and keep going. A part of me kept wanting to look for Maverick, but I reminded myself each time that he was at home, asleep so that he could work the later shift today. We did manage to find Charly and Coffey, the former of which tossed me a wink as she brushed her fingers casually over the collar she wore - she made a point to wear it each year as a reminder of the first time we met.

This time, however, I was resisting the urge to squirm away, but knew that with Coffey and Conor bracketing us, Charly had a captive audience.

“So… kink night is next month at the Undine!  You’re going to be there, right?”

“Charly, I’m not… I’m not an exhibitionist, and the guys will be at work…”

A large hand flew up to cover Coffey’s laugh before he could turn his head to hide it. Charly scrunched her face at him before turning back to me and rolling her eyes in his direction. “I never expected you to participate, silly. You’re there as kind of an official approval from the Council.”

That launched my eyebrows into my hairline. “Do you need official approval?”

“Not really,” Coffey intoned. “It’s more preventive - if we start with approval from the local government, in a non-participatory way, there can’t be any backlash later.”

I heard a snort over my shoulder before Conor spoke up. “So, she’s just…. Going to sit there?”

“There is a zero percent chance that she’ll get bored, and I’m positive that Sebastian will need some help.”

I raised my voice to be heard over the muffled laughter over our heads. “I love you, but I’m a terrible waitress - “

“And a phenomenal cook! We’ll need lots of snacks.”

I shook my head and blinked hard. “Won’t you be…. Busy?”

“Not the whole time, no,” she answered, thankfully one-hundred percent serious. “And we’ll be burning a lot of energy. Water, electrolytes, sugar, and just… calories are super important. In finger food form.”

Now we were on profoundly familiar ground. “Oh I can do some finger foods.”

“Yeah… finger foods and non-alcoholic beverages are not Sebastian’s strong suit. Lots of food and sanitizing space are where he is incredibly talented.”

“If you can get Arthur to show up, I’ll be there,” I surrendered.

To my alarm, she started squealing and bouncing. “Oh, awesome! I’ll send you the event reminder, and then make sure to have Sebastian send you his schedule for set up and planning… and he needs to include you in the menu planning, I need to make sure to tell him that - “

“Poppy. One event at time, remember?” Coffey reminded her gently, a thousand-watt smile dominating his face.

She looked around and seemed to just remember that she was standing in the middle of the Food Festival and, theoretically, working. “Oh. Right. ‘Kay, so, Sophia, I’m sorry, but apparently I’m busy. I’ll talk to you tomor - ” Coffey folded himself to whisper in her ear “ - Ursday? Thursday?”

My chest hurt with the amount of laughter I was trying to push down, but I allowed a snort and a grin. “Thursday sounds great. Our place, potato soup?”

“HELL yes!” was the enthusiastic reply before she waggled her fingers and dragged Coffey on to their next station.

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[popculturebuffet]

Watchmen Retrospective: “Absent Friends” (Patreon Review For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my Watchmen retrospective! Last month I started a look into what many consider the greatest comic book of all time, courstey of my patron WeirdKev27. If you also have a comic you’d like me to look at, comissions are still open for this month, and if you’d like a monthly review like kev, maybe some one offs maybe have me take a look at a story or run you like, hop over to my patreon. 5 dollar backers get a review every month guaranteed with a spot on my schedule saved just for them. No matter what gets changed or shoved back, this spot will be forever and every tier you hit unlocks more projects. The next time someone joins i’ll be reviewing owl house season 1 and after that my patrons get to vote on one of three Derrick J Watt shows, including Teen Titans. So if you want me to go teen titans without having to suffer through teen titans go, then join today

LINK IS RIGHT HERE

Now the pluggings out of the way, we’ve come to our second chapter and the first of several flashbacks as every even numbered issue from here on out is a mix of the present day and flashbacks going into one of the characters. In this case it’s the cast having various memories of the now dead and throughly vile comedian that help both build the supsect list on how who killed him and flesh out the world after the hints given last time. IT’s a great device and one that was brought about.. because the guys realized the story needed more and thus added it.. though they had to add a little something else to help make it to 12 issues, but we’ll see that later. Still it works as the flashback issues fill in the character and even with my vaugest memories I know each one has a unique format and scenario , and every one has a present day storyline that helps move the story along. It’s a brilliant way to keep the pacing up, as no story momentum is lost, while still giving us the vital character information we need for this to be oh so painfully real. So join me under the cut as we salute to an absent “friend” and flash back to how said friend was just the worst. Content Warning: Due to the subject, this review contains mentions of sexual assault and violence. Discretion is advised.  

Previously on Watchmen:In a world where superheroes had breifly existed but most had been forced into retirment by the law, A through bastard who likes to wear a gimp suit with an american flag on it got thrown out a window on his off time, leading to an alex jones inkblot to go looking for it, depressing his former best friend, calling a guy gay, breaking another guy’s hand for no real reason and defending a man who raped one of his interviews mother so much she had her naked blue husband shoo him away. 

We open with two scenes going simultationously, we see Dr. Manhattan pull up to the funeral, wearing a formal suit suprisingly given how detached he is. Though i’ts likely Alan Moore didn’t want to detract from the solemn, moody atmosphere with a blue man’s glowing junk. 

Laurie meanwhile is Calforni MIA as she’s gone to visit her mother, the dialouge of their conversation overlaping with the cold grey new york funeral at times.  Sally, Laurie’s mom, also bipasses her daughter’s attempt to sidestep what’s going on, as she knows The Comedian died and suprisingly has forgiven him for nearly raping her, something that baffles Laurie. 

From there it’s a decent amount of passive agressive sniping from Sally, who complains about new york, not happy her daughter is living a state away (and got here via naked blue man teleporting), calling Dr. Manhattan a human bomb that just needs to get laid once in a while which while accurate isn’t something you say to said bomb’s wife, and making caughing noises instead of just.. telling her daughter to put out a cigarette she lit in a small cramped room. Outside of the last one.. she’s out of bounds, basically crticizing her daughters life despite not having been the best part of it. She also whips out a tijuana bible, basically a tiny rarely lisecnesed porn comic from the 40′s because it reminds her of being young. But her reason for it is heartbreaking as it reminds her of better times... though reminding her of better times as this world inches closer to armageddon. And given the times we live in where throngs of people actively want an open insusrectionest back in teh white house... I know how she feels.  It’s during all this we get our first flashback.. I just held it back as after this the next three are in rapid succesion, each following one of our “modern” heroes, followed by one more that’s incredibly plot important to close us out i’ll get to. As such it’s easier to recap going through the five flashbacks in order rather than having Sally’s intercut then going into three basically in a row. And shockingly not much happens at the funeral despite being a superhero funeral. Whlie there usually aren’t attacks there’s usually more words but here all men just sit solemnly and silently and remember the bastard their mourning. It works though as each flashback shows something Awful Eddie Blake did.. and thus..

As every one of them knew what a bastard he was and even if the flashback in paticular didn’t spring them to action, it could provide some motivation later. Granted i’m sure most of you reading this know who done it, but back then the mystery at the center wasn’t an open secret most comic fans know due to one of the most iconic lines in comic book history. Anyways time for some flashbacks! Sally’s Flashback:

It’s the 40′s or 50′s and The Minutemen are having their photo taken. The Minutemen are like the Justice Society.. though this world’s justice league never got off the ground but we’ll get to that next.  We’ll get more into them in this issue’s under the hood chapters, but point is their having publicity photo’s taken and Sally goes to change.. only for Eddie to accost her and say she “wanted it” by dressing that way. before touching her.. and when she fights back.. he overpowers her and prepares to assault her. While we only learned about it second hand last time, and as we see here Nite Owl learned the same way as he wasn’t present, The Comedian DID try assaulting Sally Jupiter, only stopped by Hooded Justice beating the crap out of him . Who then procedes to berate sally telling her to “get up and cover herself” because he was a dick. 

I will say this assault scene.. is horrifying. It’s well written, showing Sally’s struggle, and not treating it once for titlation, showing just how violent and horribile it is. But it’s also one done right: it’s necessary to the character, to the plot as Nite Owl went public with this incident in Under the Hood so Dan, Hollis and Sally all have reason to want to cave his skull in: Dan to do what his mentor would “want” to, Hollis to get payback out of love for sally or something, and Sally to get vengance for her mom. And , especially for the time, it dosen’t ignore Sally’s feelings: the art shows how scared she is and the last shot shows her beaten up not for shock.. but to show how horrifically she’s treated for being nearly raped. That somehow to Hooded Justice it’s “her fault for wearing skimpy clothing” even though she just got changed, you sociopath.

I bring this up because I feel a lot of writers after this.. abused women just for shock value or to support a male character. Even Alan Moore himself had Barbra Gordon shot just to motivate her dad after this. But I feel a lot of later writers took the wrong message: that adding assault makes a work edgy and screams..

Instead of you know, ONLY using it if your going to treat such a horrific and nightmarish subject with the utmost grace and care. Invincible is a good example of this in a way I won’t get into as the series will likely cover this at some point and to it’s further credit did so by covering a male heroes assault, as men getting raped is usually treated for comedy or some such crap. 

 Instead we’ve gotten shit like retconning in Sue Dibny being raped to justify the mindwipe part of Identity Crisis or that time mark millar had a villian character force two siblings to have sex and then wired the uterus so if she aborted it, it’d kill her or render her infertle or some such garbage. And thankfully we haven’t gotten shit like this lately and times have changed, and I don’t put having to put up with this shit for so long on Moore. Alan Moore simply wrote a story that included an assault in it and for the time did decently, showing Sally’s view point as valid: it still effects her but didn’t stop her from living her life. Granted there are elements we’ll get to that aren’t great later but for 1986, this is a great attempt. He was not the first or last comic book writer to do this, I simply feel like with rorschach a lot of writers took it as necessary to be “edgy” instead of you knokw SOMETHING THAT STILL FUCKING HAPPENS WAY TOO OFTEN AND SHOULD BE TREADED CAREFULLY YA DICKS. 

Adrian’s Flashback:

Now we get to Ozymandis’.. which is easily the most important out of them and the most iconic as it’s time for the first and last meeting of The Crimebusters, a failed attempt at making a new team after the minutemen. And your probably asking “Wait so then whose the Watchmen if neither superhero group is” the Simple answer

The Watchmen is based on a phrase from an old poem , originally “who guards the guards themselves”, i.e. “who holds those with power acountable.” It’s not a bad title.. but I do see why both the unshot film script from the 80′s and the Snyder film changed the Crimebusters to well.. The Watchmen.. as did one of the greatest videos of all time

Though I do think the Crimebusters name works in it’s context: It’s goofy and outdated even for the 60′s in which they were almost formed. It’s to show this idea is a relic and unwieldly even from the name. Watchemen sounds just a tad too slick for that, but I also don’t blame adaptations for... actually wanting the name to mean something besides something metaphorical. It’s easier to market and such and makes a tad more sense. But I also can’t blame Moore and Davis in a work tha’ts intetonally subversive.. for subverting expectations by not having a group named the Watchmen at any point. 

So the would-be crimebusters are made up of our main cast and lead by.. Captain Metropolis. 

Cap was one of the Minutemen and was active till his death, which happened before the Keene Act and before the present day of the narrative, thus he vanished. He’s a corny old man at this point trying to tuck in his paunch who wants to unite these mostly powerless heroes to change the world. He’s also a tad conservative and more than a tad racist and sexist if you take a look at what he thinks society’s problems are. 

Out of the four only drugs can be a problem. Being anti-war, having lots of sex as long as your safe or wanting a fair fucking deal in this country.. those are all fair. So it’s not a huge shock he gets laughed out of the room by one of them and even less that it’s the Comedian. Who is a MASSIVE dick about it but again, is doing this to a guy who not only thinks guys in costumes can “solve promiscuity”. Neither of this come out of this with any dignity. WHile the others try to defend nelson they end up leaving as Comedian’s thorughly humilated the guy and proven an organized superhero team.. just can’t fix larger issues.  Which is true though they CAN try: Batman may be best known for punching the joker in the groin, but he does spend time as bruce in most iterations donating money to causes, trying to rebuild gotham and help the bigger issues he can’t batman away. Superman is a reporter not to make himself look good (He leaves that to his wife who did so long before she knew it was him), but to help ferret out the injustices superman can’t. Heroes DO try to do what they can in civlian livfes.. it’s just a lot of them, as is the case for most of the cast here are just normal people in costumes. Only Manhattan can really effect change as we’ll learn in a second. and even he more or less just does what he’s asked to.  I do feel this isn’t perfect as A) due to the nature of this world superpowers are mostly a non-factor outside of Jon so the major argument against superheroes taking action in the world is moot and B) since them more and more heroes have taken a stance and some don’t simply because they don’t have the time or means to really change the world powers or not. But it’s still an effective scene and it’s ending panel is one of the best in the entire work. And I know i’m rereading it in progress.. but it’s one that sums up the work, has been homaged quite a bit and sums up the work nicely

Also two last notes before this: The focus on Ozymandis.. and the fact Lauries been side eyeing john all night.. in front of his wife. And she’s noticed him looking back. 

Jon’s Flashback: 

It’s the waning days of the Vietnam War.. and i’ts here we hit one of the more iconic bits of the comic as here.. it didn’t last very long thanks to Dr. Manhattan.  Nixon pointing him at the the Vietcong, he blew a bunch of them up and they surrendered so while they were there for at  least a few months... it still ended in the decisive win we didn’t get and Nixon becoming president, with the Comedian insuring said presdency as it’s implied he killed woodward and bernstiein. So our heroes CAN impact history.. it’s a question of if it was the right thing. This change was really just so Moore could tackle reganism using a face Regan fans wouldn’t care if he skewered, as talked about last time, but it still works to show the impact these characters had on the world: just because superheroes didn’t last for LONG dosen’t mean they didn’t change the world a lot. It reinforces the point though: they didn’t effect change through being costumed heroes: they effected changes through black ops and having the power of a god. 

So Peacemaker wants to skeedaddle as soon as possible and the Dad part soon becomes apparent as a vietamise woman approaches him.. pregnant. Naturally Blake’s quick to abandon them so she rightfully slashes his face with a broken beer bottle.. only for blake to shoot her to death, likely dooming his child. And while he’s an absolute monster for this.. he points out Jon is’nt much better: he COULD’VE stopped it but for whatever reason didn’t. Comedian points out Jon is becoming more distant, cold: he wasn’t there for Jenny before their divorce or whatever, won’t be there for sally forever.. and god help us all when he’s there for no one at all. Still glad he’s dead.. I mean you can be right about a naked superman slowly growing detached from relaity and still be the monster who shot a pregnant woman in the belly. Those two things arne’t exclusive. Anyone with eyes can see Jon’s slowly drifting from humanity. 

Dan’s Flashback:

Dan’s takes us to right before the Keene Act: Police are striking in protest over masked heroes.. whcih given they’ll strike over having to take a vaccine or being called out on being racist in present day isn’t suprising. Naturally this forces the heroes into the rough position of holding back people who already hate them.  And the comedian showed Dan the dirtier side of costumed hero.. when someone, instead of trying to protect people imposes their will with comedian RELISHING in getting to opress the masses while it nearly breaks Dan explaning WHY he quit: he likely worried about becoming a monster like Eddy the longer he kept the costume on. 

Moloch’s Flashback:

So the funeral ends as we get a great panel of Dan throwing the button in the casket.. and see the same end is near pickiter from last issue watching someone leave the funeral.. and we get a pretty clear reveal who he is as next we see the guy Rorschach jumps him, revealing he saw the guy at the funeral.. and given we didn’t see rorschach there it had to be someone we saw. But it’s also clever in that you only notice it if you already know or your paying close attention. 

Anyways as for why he’s attacking this guy this guy, as the header I have gives away is Moloch. As for who that is he was a nemisis of both generations of crime fighting whose long since retired and spent the 70′s in jail, and who isn’t sure why he went.. until he reveals the Comedian crashed into his place one night while incredibly drunk. 

And so our final flashback is Edward Blake rambling like all hell, talking about “an island” , some sort of conspericy involving Janey Slater, Manhattan’s ex, and how messed up it makes him, the pregnant woman and child killer, feel.  And it makes you feel horrified as Blake: after all if someone we’ve seen do the worst a man could do feels bad aabout what this secret conspiracy is planning... just WHAT is at it’s heart. IT’s also a nice bait and switch: before this it came off as revenge: edward blake was a rightfully and widely hated asshole.. but now some like dan drop off. Something bigger is going on that Comedian was let in on and again someone this horrible was freaked out by it. 

So the conversatoin ends with Rorshach pointing out illegal drugs.. that turn out to be highly questionable cancer drugs which Moloch explains he needs as he has cancer.. as for what kind..

So Shackers in a rare show of decency lets the guy go and heads off into the night for another rambly monologue. But we do get a hell of a moment as he explains who Blake is.. 

It dosen’t make him a good person.. but it makes him understandable, a man who saw society was broken and decided to treat it like a joke and help break it more instead of trying to make it any better. Life was a joke.. and the jokes on him. 

So with that we get one final solemn shot as Shack Attack takes a rose from the grave and puts it on his lapel in memory. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

“Absent Friends’ is a wonderful second chapter, adding a lot of depth and shading to the world and to who Edward blake does while ramping up the mystery: what bigger scheme is at hand and who wanted him dead bad enough to keep a lid on it? or did he know something and the death was just a concidence? Find out next month.. well okay don’t because obviously they aren’t going to reveal who killed him two issues in , but do come back to watch some more watchmen.. but first as always

Under the Hood Chapters 3 and 4: 

So  more of Hollis’ career. The third chapter is intresting to read, just not to recap: Hollis spent several months training, picking up the “nite owl” moniker from a mocking co-workers, and having to use Spirit Gum, a thetrical glue , to keep his mask to his face after someone nearly killed him putting it down and obscuring his vision. It’s good stuff showing how a 40′s era hero would get started. 

The meat though is in chapter 4, where we get the formation of the minutemen. More Masked Heroes had been showing up so Captain Metropolis, much like his failed attempt in the 60′s, decided to form a team and called the only one he knew who had a public phone number: silk spectre, since her husband had set up her career as a publiclity shoot. As such the heroes of the time: Captain Metropolis, Silk Spectre, Nite Owl, Moth Man, Silhoutte, The Comedian and Hooded Justice became the Minutemen and fought crime and caught publiclity. But eventually.. the group fractured: Dollar Bill died due to getting his cape caught in the door, Siloutte was drummed out thanks to her sexuality and murdered by an old foe(Something Hollis and Sally both deeply regret) and Sally eventually retired, leaving the group to quitely disband.. and to inspire another generation to Hollis’ regret. 

Some small stray notes here: HOllis also points out the team were some degress of messed up the worst of them being Captain Metropolis, who as I pointed out earlier was racist and was apparently open about that and Hooded Justice who supported the nazis apparently. Though one of the sequels would take him in a decidly non racist direction. But that’s not for here. Point is it’s another good pair of chapters of intresting stuff

And if you want more intresting stuff please consider joining my patreon. I have exclusive reviews, 5 dollar patreons like Kev get a review a month with a gurantted spot on the schedule (though if you’d like to comission just hit up my ask box and i’llmake room where I can), and patrons of any stripe not only help me hit stretch goals (current one as of this writing is the owl house) as each person joining means I hit a goal and thus start a new project when there’s room, but get to pick something when I do a poll. So sign up today the link

IS RIGHT HERE. PLEASE JOIN

[miwtze]

bathroom floor (matsukawa issei x reader)

cw: eating disorders, purging, its not angsty 

wc: 5.6k

dunno why this is so long but no beta i die like a man

matsukawa could count on one hand the names of his classmates that he could personally remember. even then it was only the class president and the student council secretary seeing as they were the only two people that ever really interacted with him when he was there. on his breaks he was with hanamaki, in class his head was down, after school he was at volleyball practice; he didn’t really have a reason to remember anyone else. it’s not to say he didn’t try, people were just standoffish due to his large structure or wanted to mingle with toru through him. he simply believed it was a bother. that was probably until his first term of his third year when he was seated next you.

“matsukawa-san.”

“matsukawa-san.”

“matsuk-” matsukawa groans, shifting his head to the left in hopes of identifying the offending voice. he cracks open an eyelid, shifting his head to figure out who’s the one pulling him out of his nap; it wasn’t his mom or his younger brother. as his eyelids adjust to the rays of light engulfing the room he comes to the realization that he is in fact not in his bed, but rather sprawled across his desk and staring down at his desk mate’s tights-covered legs. “are you okay?” he whips his head up at your voice, wide eyed and rubbing the side of his mouth with the back of his palms as he scowls at you. not with any bad intentions but he’s willing to run the risk of looking like a dick if it saves him from the embarrassment of being caught sleeping in class.

“what is it?” you cock your eyebrows at him fingers to your chin, deep in thought. what did he say that was so interesting, he doesn’t know but he sinks into himself, wishing you would just outright laugh in his face. you don’t laugh. instead you turn around and dig through your bag pulling out a can of coffee and an energy bar, gingerly playing them on his desk.

“we’re both on class duty this week and the chemistry kits need to be brought down to class by the time lunch ends. we need it for our next class.” he stares at his wrist watch. he would rather use the last fifteen minutes of his lunch break to nap but he really didn’t want to forfeit the coffee or energy drink. not that you looked like you wanted it back. “i tried to wake you up earlier but you were kind of like a dead man walking. saying things like ‘five more minutes mom’ and ‘i’ll get up in a bit’.” matsukawa can feel the back of his neck heat up, rising to follow you out of the classroom and towards the science building. “figured you must’ve had a long night or something.”

“there’s absolutely no way you caught me fucking calling out to my mom. you should’ve just woken me up before everyone heard me telling me mom to let me sleep in,” he sighs, matching the pace of your step to walk next to you. “like, dude, that is so embarrassing.”

you turn your head and smile at him, he thinks it’s a little teasing but thankfully filled with no condescend. “actually for the most part the classroom was empty during lunch today, it was just me and secretary-san. everyone else went to go eat outside since the weather was nice.” you stated reassuringly, brushing hair behind your ears. matsukawa removes the hand he placed on his forehead with a sigh of relief. two people hearing him call out to his mother is significantly better than the whole class hearing it. “i don’t even think secretary-san heard you since she was on the other side of the room, but she most definitely saw you hung over your desk sleeping.”

“you shouldn’t call people secretary-san that’s, like, super impolite. also, if everyone else went outside to eat why’d you stay back? did you wanna watch me sleep or something,” he states matter-of-factly. turning his heel into the chemistry classroom making a beeline for the chemistry kits. he could still feel his neck burning, but he knows it’s because you’re digging holes into his back with your eyes. “or do you just, like, not have any friends.” you snicker behind him.

“you have to check the kits before you grab them; we need twenty four of them. also i’m not sure what the secretary’s name is. i was in a different class last year,” you say beginning to look through the kits separating the usable from the unusable ones. “and my friends got detention together and left me behind. some traitors they are.” you feign offense with the back of your hand to your forward and head tossed back. he notices a small beaded bracelet adorning your wrist, right under a thin gold one. you laugh at his raised eyebrows as finish separating the kits. he’s surprised to say the least, everyone in class one was the book nerd type who spoke harsh words behind whispers. at least to his knowledge anyways. he definitely didn’t think you would be this cheeky or friendly, especially not to the six feet tall monstrosity he was.

“why didn’t you just get detention with them. it seems more fun than eating by yourself, i think. i like to eat with my friends but apparently my dumbass fell asleep. i’ll probably get my ear chewed out during practice for it.”

“the most fun about doing things you’re not supposed to is getting away with it. plus i had to catch up on some other things so it didn’t make sense to leave and do something stupid just to get caught,” you say with a sly smile, struggling to mange the twelve kits you had split evenly between the two of you. he grabs your twelve including his silently, he wasn’t an athlete at a powerhouse school for nothing. “oh i see you are nice.”

“did you think i was some megawatt asshole or something?”

“maybe not megawatt, but, like, a twenty four watt asshole?” he snickers at that, following you into the classroom. “due to your kind act of charity, i’ll take it upon myself to take the notebooks to the teachers after school so you can head to practice early to get your ear chewed out, how does that sound?”

“absolutely fucking terrible, but much appreciated,” he says, sliding into his seat and cracking open the can of coffee you gave him. “thanks for this too, i’ll get you bread tomorrow during lunch to make up for it.”

“nah don’t worry about it,” you say, turning your head to greet two girls bouncing into the classroom stopping at your desk to complain about detention. 

true to your word, you diligently collect and return the class notebooks that day after school. in fact you’re so dedicated to the task that you do it everyday for the rest of the week, never once asking matsukawa or complaining to him. matsukawa thinks you do it as to not bother him. he’s not entirely sure that’s the reason though, seeing as you’re pushing your desk next to his to share his literature textbook with him for the third time this week.

“sorry matsukawa-san, i forgot my literature textbook again. please do some charity work,” you whisper leaning over to look at the pages. you frown at his notes.

“you don’t sound like you forgot, also don’t judge someone else’s notes when they’re helping you,” he teases, looking down at you redoing his notes in a more orderly manner. small neat writing surrounds his messy illegible ones, highlighting what to look out for on the next exam. you’re wearing a gold ring with a jewel the same color of your beaded bracelet, small and dainty stilling on an even smaller middle finger. he sighs but he knows your notes have been helping him.

“between you and me? i definitely didn’t forget, i just hate carrying that heavy thing around.” you pause to look up from the notes, to his face and then back down. “maybe i’ll have you do it for me since you’re all big and tough, or whatever gender stereotype will benefit me.”

“you shouldn’t openly boast about being sexist.”

“what, you going to tell on me or something?”

“no but what’s the point in having me carry the damn book around if you have to walk home with it.” he’d rather you just not bring it seeing as no one else in his class talked to him and the most you talked to him was when you both were sharing his textbook.

“i do believe that is exactly why i don’t bring it, matsukawa-san,” you say dryly, returning to your task.

when the lunch bell rings you push your desk back and say your words of thanks, turning your heels to skip to your friends. he watches as the light hits your legs and the tights you always wear stretch around your thighs.

dirty bastard.

he turns and flees to takahiro, who makes fun of the blush creeping up matsukawas neck.

on friday afternoon, before issei leaves for practice he places two packaged rice balls and green tea on your desk. you open your mouth to say something but your friend beats you to it.

“oh? what’s this? a confession of love?” your friend pokes your cheek with a baby blue painted finger and shoots a smirk through her long eyelashes. she reminds issei of someone.

your other friend, one with dyed roots and glossed lips, pulls her back giggling saying, “hey c’mon now! you can’t scare him away, but it is an interesting approaching seeing as most people would just give a letter or something.” you sigh, shooting him a withering look of apology.

“na-chan, aya-chan, you can’t say things like that about people. it makes them uncomfortable. sorry matsukawa-san, what’s this for?”

“doin’ charity work i suppose.” you roll your eyes. “you should show gratitude when offered something, ya know?”

“oh? so this isn’t for the snacks i gave you the day i caught you slee-” he cuts you off by pulling up a chair to your desk. practice can wait.

“you are absolutely the fucking worst.”

“since you’re sitting here, share it with me i don’t like rice balls much.”

“i have practice.”

“you’re the one who sat down.” he blinks. your friends have already ran off yelling things about a part time job or something. you open both the rice balls and place one in front of him. “i don’t think you’ll get beaten if you’re a couple minutes late, at least i hope not. i think that’s illegal.”

“you’re just full of requests, huh? i might as well become make-a-wish with the amount of things i do for you,” he says mouth full of rice, towering over you even after sitting down. you sigh between small bites of the snack. “what? you don’t like umeboshi or something? why are ya looking at it like it’s defiling your throat.”

“not to sound ungrateful or anything, but i unfortunately am rather picky when it comes to food. but since the great matsukawa-san has blessed me with a rice ball i will thankfully finish it.”

“you’re so fucking annoying.”

“oh but i’m just  too cute for you to let that bother you, isn’t that right?” you grin picking up your trash and grabbing your bag. “bye! i’ll see you tomorrow.” you leave before he has the chance to reply.

he leaves a couple minutes after you, heading to the third gym. he notices a pair of all too familiar tights-covered legs ducking in between the third and fourth gym. against his better judgement he follows.

dude, what the fuck. first you’re eyeing up your friend’s legs and now you’re following a girl behind the gym? get laid, he berates himself.

he watches the girl turn behind the fourth gym and he recognizes you by the charm hanging on the side of your bag. now he’s really curious. he silently leans against the wall getting close to the edge, but remaining out of sight. maybe it’s a really weird confession. he wouldn’t want to impose.

minutes pass before he actually hears anything but it wasn’t the confession he wasn’t expecting. sounds of you’re gagging fill the air. he has to stop himself from turning the corner and asking you if you’re okay, only being able to turn his head to look at you. fingers down your throat and tears down your face.

knot of uneasiness ties at the pit of his stomach as he turns and flees, knowing he saw something he shouldn’t have. the butterflies in his chest burden him knowing that he’s festering a crush on someone who hasn’t shared any part of herself to him other than her kindness. issei doesn’t like that.

after practice that day he stays continuing to abuse the gym floors hitting one volleyball after the other, trying to focus on the burns on his palms instead of anything else. oikawa and iwaizumi head out before him leaving him alone with the gym keys to lock up when he’s done. he doesn’t finish for another two hours and he only stops then because his body is about to give out on him.

matsukawa begrudgingly makes his way to the teachers room when he sees you fumble around, barely able to walk straight. his eyes widen when he sees you drop your bag and fall into the wall. 

“fucking dumbass.” you hiss and pick up your bag.

“hey man, you good?”  your entire body freezes, almost as if someone hit pause on you. he calls your name, panic creeping into his voice. “do you want me to carry your bag? i can walk you home.” when he goes to step towards you you swing your head back to face him.

“i’m fine matsukawa-san. have a good evening.”

he watches as your small figure, drowning in a big cardigan, stumble away quickly, never once turning back. he returns the keys to wall excusing himself, thinking about the chilling tone of your voice as he walks home.

he has no idea how to approach you after that, as the weeks pass by he avoids mentioning it, questions piling up in his mind. he knows you can tell that he’s antsy (there’s no way you don’t) around you, but you still keep polite conversation and share his literature textbook with him. sometimes you leave snacks on his desk, he always accepts them. matsukawas latest hobby has been lying face down on his desk during lunch to eavesdrop on your conversations. he tries to reason that he’s just tired but he’s so far deep he knows he’s lying to himself.

“do you think guys like clips?”

“i don’t think they care enough to pay attention to stuff like that.”

“really? i can't speak for dudes since i don’t have a dick-“ matsukawa almost blows his cover by laughing at your words “but i think they would appreciate a cute hair clip. especially on a girl he’s into.”

“i feel like guys should get into clips. i think they’d look good in them.” all three of them hum.

“wanna see if they do?” you say standing up, he can feel you hover around his desk. your friends giggle already connecting the dots, even he connected them. “matsukawa-san, hey matsukawa-san. are you sleeping? psst” you whisper close enough to where he can feel your breath on his ears. he stays silent. he watches your feet turn around, he’s almost disappointed.

“dude, he’s sleeping. you sure he won’t beat you up when he wakes up?”

“that’s a bridge i’ll cross when i get there.” you turn back around, thin fingers grabbing tufts of his hair gently as to not wake him up and pins them down. one. two. three. four. there’s two on each side of his forehead, he can feel them. “so aya-chan? na-chan? what’s the verdict.”

“his head is down we can’t tell.” your friend says, he assumes is the blunt one in your friend group probably the one you call aya-chan. he sits up. “looks like you’ve crossed that bridge though.”

“good luck, but i was right guys do look good with clips,” your other friend laugh, but before you can turn around to face mastukawa he grabs you by your waist and pulls you down. you end up on his lap and if he wasn’t too busy tickling you, he would question the promiscuity of his actions.

“you know it’s super impolite to mess around with people when they’re sleeping. it’s probably considered bullying.”

“ah! mastukawa-san! i can't breathe, i’m sorry! i’m sorry!” you can barely get your words out, getting get off between loud laughs. people look over.

“are you sorry?”

“yes yes now stop please.” he stops tickling you but still holds an arm around your waist, you make no movement to get off his lap either instead turning and grabbing his face to do a one over. “oh my god, na-chan you were right!” letting go to turn your friends, who shoot him looks of apology. “guys look super cute with clips on! hey matsukawa-san if you wanna seem less scary you should wear clips, not that i think you’re scary.”

“i’m always right, i religiously study fashion magazines. that’s why you two always look so hot.”

“ah thank you for your diligence. maybe if you studied your math textbook we’d be able to hang out this summer but someone has to do summer classes.” you giggle at your friends banter reaching over to grab your phone.

“hey matsukawa-san, smile!” pulling and arm around him you bring the phone up. he smiles and throws up a peace sign and take a couple pictures. “you’re being oddly agreeable with this. give me your line ID i’ll send these to you.” you hop off and face him.

“you just want his line ID.” of course you do, matsukawa issei is a complete stud and you want him.

“and? he’s going to give it me regardless of my intentions.” you pass your phone to him and he takes it from your hand watching the cardigan slip through your arm revealing bruises trailing under your gold bracelet. he catches you staring and quickly you pull up your sleeves to you palms. “look! sweater paws.”

“you’re stupid, here.”

“she’s not that stupid. she’s top of our grade, you know?”

“why are you bragging when you have to do remedial courses,” matsukawa deadpans, trying to figure out what to call them since he didn’t know their names and he wasn’t about to call her na-chan.

“oh, this is natsume and that’s ayasaki.” you say catching his frown as you remove the clips. he nods. “do you want me to get you clips you looked really cute with them. we can match.”

“should we get him sparkly ones? like blue ones,” ayasaki questions.

“oh! and some white ones? so it matches his volleyball uniforms?” you add on.

“absolutely not, i only did it because she’s cute.” pulling you back down, you melt into him. i feel so small next to him, maybe it’s because his huge. i like it. a lot.

“no means no. hanamaki would not let me live it down.”

“well would you look at this matsukawa went and got him a girlfriend!” it was as if he was cursed, turning to see the shit eating grin plastered over hanamaki’s face as he steps into his classroom. oikawa and iwaizumi behind, following him inside. “and you let her put clips in your hair? what a simp.”

“im not a fucking simp, i was asleep and she’s not my girlfriend.”

“she’s on your lap.”

“it’s a punishment for messing with someone that was sleeping,” matsukawa states matter-of-factly. he hopes hanamaki will drop it, but of course he won’t. it’s hanamaki.

“so who is this girlfriend-chan? is she cute?” oikawa asks circling around his desk to get a good look at you. he bursts into a grin and he says your name, your first name. hanamaki repeats it.

“oh dude you scored. good for you.” hanamaki pats his back, turning to engage in conversation with you. “do you remember me? i was in your first year class. we never talked though.”

“ah yes i recall you almost got held back because of your math scores,” you say looking up from your phone, matsukawa’s phone rings in his pocket. iwaizumi laughs.

“it’s good to see you again! we haven’t talked since, like, middle school. hi natsume-chan! ayasaki-chan! you three still together?” they both look up from the magazine natsume was pointing at.

“oh but of course. you and iwaizumi still married?”

“absolutely not i would never-“

“yes! we’re going on a honeymoon soon.” iwaizumi smacks him.

“it’s good to see the three of you, though. i didn’t know you went here,” iwaizumi says smiling.

“well that’s because your head only thinks about oikawa and volleyball, no?” ayasaki raises her eyebrows, you and natsume hum in agreement.

“oh my how romantic,” you coon. “are we invited to the baby shower?” matsukawa laughs into your shoulder pulling you closer. he feels you’re small frame, the bulky cardigan doing nothing to hide the bones he can feel brush against him.

“you know for a punishment you both seem to oddly enjoy yourselves,” hanamaki points out. “but, dude, you were super cute before but you’re so pretty now! what’d you do? cocaine?”

“not all of us have debaucherous hobbies hanamaki-san.”

it only gets louder between the banter of his friend group and yours, but he can’t focus thoughts piling up on after the other. when the lunch bell rings, matsukawa has a headache and it’s not from the noise.

“first of all? fuck coach for making us do two practice games in a row, like, i get it we have inter-highs when we get back in the winter, but this is fucking brutal.” hanamaki proclaims, feet dragging. “second of all, he’s making us practice tomorrow too. i might as well jump off the tokyo tower.”

“do a flip on your way down,” matsukawa says pulling his phone out to check his line. he texted you about his practice matches  and hasn’t been able to reply since then.

“you said it yourself hanamaki, we have inter-highs coming up. we want to go to finals and to do that we have to practice,” iwaizumi reasons, but even his voice is drowned in exhaustion. oikawa whines and begins to complain about ushijima at finals and matsukawa tunes out, having already heard this seven times today.

[you, 12:13 pm] good luck at your matches today, hope u win straight sets so u can go home fast. -w-

[matsukawa, 5:11 pm] only won one of the matches but both went into a third set im so fucken tired.

you reply immediately.

[you, 5:11 pm] bruh that’s terrible make sure to grab something to eat. idk what nutritionists would say but i’m sure they would agree with me  

“do you guys wanna grab something to eat?” matsukawa interjecting oikawa’s vent, raising his eyebrows.

“oh my god mattsun, you’re absolutely genius,” matsukawa shoots him a shit eating grin. “let’s get ramen?” oikawa finishes. iwaizumi and hanamaki nod in agreement, the three of them dragging themselves towards the ramen shop on the main street.

[matsukawa, 5:14 pm] you should eat too, have you had dinner?

[you, 5:15 pm] no but ayachan and nachan want to grab food before we head home. we went to a cat cafe today look. (one image attached) cute right >///<

before he gets the chance to reply he hears loud laughing coming from the street crossing on to the one the four of them were on down. maybe the day wasn’t so bad because you walk out laughing at something ayasaki said. he’s stunned. bewildered. whatever the fuck kind of emotion he’s feeling he knows it’s because you’re just so pretty. he’s a lot for words as he gapes at you, eyes wide like saucers.

“look who it is! hi guys!” natsume shouts, dragging you and ayasaki with her, your arms are all linked. he can’t move.

“wow, it’s you three again! you’re always together,” oikawa teases, jabbing an elbow into mastukawas ribs. “there’s your little girlfriend,” he whispers, matsukawa can’t even respond, he’s just so flustered.

“whatcha guys up too, anyways?” hanamaki asks when the three of you arrive in front of them.

“oh we were hanging out and we wanted to grab some food before we head home, you guys just get out of practice? you look so fucking dead,” you ask shooting them looks of pity. oikawa sighs, about to respond when mastukawa reaches and brushed your hair behind your ear.

“you cut your hair.” and it looks good.

“in fact i did.” a blush covers your cheeks almost hidden behind the glow of the setting sun. maybe i’m talking to an angel, matsukawa thinks. “thoughts?”

“you look gorgeous.” matsukawa can’t even stop himself. when he catches what he says he coughs and turns away flustered. howling shouts come from hanamaki, iwaizumi and ayasaki.

“he’s right though, you look delightful. we’re going to get ramen do you guys want to join us?” iwaizumi asks, shooting a smirk to matsukawa. he doesn’t even have time to be panicking about the situation because ayasaki, of course, agrees.

when all of you are seated along the L-shaped bar in front of the cooks, you lean in to speak to matsukawa. you both are seated at the corner next to each other which was done intentionally by hanamaki and ayasaki. “why are you guys slaving away at practice anyways during summer break anyways? does the coach have a bounty on you or something?” you’re playing with your fingers, watching the server place your meal down in front of you.

“honestly dude,” he stops to let out the heaviest sigh you’ve ever heard. “i think at this point, irihata and oikawa teamed up to put us through hell and back.”

“homie you completely ignored my question, why?”

“oh shit my bad. we’re trying to get to get to finals, you know? inter highs start up right after summer break and oikawa has a bone to pick with the shiratorizawa captain.”

“so you guys are feeling the fruits of his planned revenge?” matsukawa nods, resting his face in the palm of his hand. you shoot him a look of pity, reaching over to pat his head, his hair is so soft. “don’t worry i’m sure you’ll get your revenge, if not you can call out for your mom again” matsukawa’s face flushes and he grabs your wrists pulling you in.

“you. i thought we agreed to never mention that again,” he hissed under his breath, looking around to see if any of the other third years were eavesdropping. they weren’t. “i thought we had an agreement. i thought we were comrades. i thought-”

“matsukawa-san, matsukawa-san shhh! i’m sorry it’s fun to tease you. i promise i’ll make it so only i can make fun of you for that.” you giggle. “since we’re comrades and all.”

“i don’t wanna be your comrade anymore.”

“here take my gyoza and stop pouting, you’re cuter when you’re smiling.” you reach over and place all your gyoza into his bowl shooting him a blinding grin. “but that’s not to say you’re not cute when you’re pouting.”

“if i’m cute, what are you?” you frown, is he calling me ugly. he waves his hand through the air as if to will away your thoughts. “not like that. you’re pretty, pretty fucking cute.”

“you know, you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.” you watch him eat as you poke at your own meal. he eats well, you smile. as the seven of you finish up your meals, you excuse yourself to the restroom. matsukawa thinks it’s suspect considering most of your bowl is full, so he follows you.

you know man your reputation for a full on creep is just expanding.

as he steps into the bathroom he seeks you hunched over, cursing spilling past your lips along with the food you forced down. you freeze, turning to look at him as he locks the door.

“i’m almost positive breaking into a bathroom is some kind of crime,” you state as if matsukawa didn’t just see you force yourself to throw up.

“i’m fully aware i’m not supposed to be in here, but i got worried, sue me.” you raise your eyebrows as him resting your arms on the toilet seat. he grimaces realizing you’re sitting on the bathroom floors. in a public bathroom. “also if you’re going to go to the bathroom as least lock the door.”

“it sounds like matsukwa issei already knew about this.”

“stop talking about it like it’s a joke.” matsukawa says grabbing tissues to wet them and pass to you. ”at least get defensive or something. i had my suspicions, saw things i shouldn’t have. i’m sorry about that.”

“don’t apologize you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m sorry for worrying you, but i don’t see this as anything of your concern.” you reach over to take the napkins from him, but he instead cleans your face for you. wiping away the spit and tears gently.

“wash your hands.” his voice left no room for argument, so you wobbled your way over to the sink and finished cleaning yourself. when you finish and turn to face him he lifts you on to the sink, trapping you in between his arms. “it’s not my concern but i’m going to concern myself with it. you’re hurting yourself.”

“so what, i’d rather hurt myself then have other people hurt me because of the way i look.” you're eyes are glassed over avoiding his and your voice is shaking, the raw emotions spilling out in contrast to your deadpan face. you guess that’s why you’re attracted to matsukawa, you’re both hide behind laid back personalities storing away a barricade of feelings gently stirring and building up. “don’t involve yourself with me anymore. i know it’s just going to be another weight on your shoulders. you’re too caring to pretend like you didn’t see it.”

“you don’t deserve that, there’s nothing that warrants this and you know that.” matsukawa sounds desperate, you know that he probably is. “i won’t let other people hurt you, i’ll protect you i promise. so please don’t push me away.”

“you’ll protect me huh.” you lean back against the mirror to look up at him. “what does that even mean.” he blinks.

“well actually i don’t know yet, but i want to figure it out with you. i want to support you and help you because i don’t want you to be alone in this, you know?” matsukawa was fumbling his words, he was nervous he couldn’t make you stay but he hoped to every god that you wouldn’t walk away. “like, i know i don’t know what to do, but i’m willing to try and figure it out. i know it’s gotta be lonely especially when your friends are bent over backwards for magazine models, and like, dude, i like you so much and i just-”

“matsukawa-san”

“yes”

“are you confessing to me in the bathroom of a ramen restaurant?” matsukawa nods, shamelessly. you think this is the most matsukawa confession to exist, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. the boy you pined over since first year found out about your dirty little secret and didn’t turn you way. he offered his and and wore his heart on his sleeve for you, who are you to turn him away. “i don’t know where we would go from here either, but i’d like it if we figured it out together.” matsukawa leans in closer to you, grabbing you by the back of your neck gently and pulling your face into his before you can object. when you break away your frown deepens, “you just kissed me with vomit breath.”

“it’s okay you’re the person i’ll kiss with vomit breath since we‘re comrades.”

“you shouldn’t call your girlfriend comrade, it doesn’t give me butterflies.”

“oh? so you’re my girlfriend now?”

“what, you don’t wanna date me?”

“oh absolutely i do. i’m honored to have the pleasure of being your boyfriend.” matsukawa teases as he pulls you down. your reply gets shut down by a wave of texts that blows up matsukawa’s phone.

[hanamaki, 6:03 pm] ayo casanova wya dude ???? are you getting your dick sucked in the bathroom that’s dirty she’s too cute for that anyways we paid and we’re heading out >.< stay safe muah

[iwaizumi, 6:05 pm] we left but you’re going to have to explain yourself tomorrow.

[oikawa, 6:06 pm] mattsun!! tell us about your salacious bathroom endeavors tomorrow at practice <333

you follow him out of the restrooms, leaning over to look at his messages and laugh, point to your phone which shows a string of messages of similar nature from ayasaki and natsume.

as you and matsukawa walk hand in hand down the streets of miyagi you can’t help but notice the butterflies blossom from the pits of your stomach exploding towards your beating heart.

“i’m thankful you’re the one who found out i don’t think i would want it be anyone else.”

“i wouldn’t want it to be anyone else either.”

as the twinkling street lights cheered you on, you stepped forward towards the future knowing you had matsukawa to lean on.

[fyeah-bangtan7]

J-Hope on Growing Up in BTS, His Next Mixtape and More

"We wanted to make music that can give people more strength," says J-Hope, in the first of our digital cover stories starring each BTS member

One of BTS’ many high-profile fans, Late Late Show host James Corden, says the group is “at their core, a force for good.” With his dimpled smile, warm manner, and fierce stage presence, 27-year-old rapper, dancer, songwriter, and producer J-Hope embodies the group’s combination of fundamental goodness and overwhelming talent; even his choice of stage name radiates positivity. In the first of Rolling Stone‘s breakout interviews with each of the seven members of BTS, J-Hope looked back at the group’s early days, reflected on his musical future, and more. He spoke from a studio room at the Seoul headquarters of the group’s label, HYBE’s Big Hit Music, wearing an olive coat over a crisp white T-shirt. His energy was restrained compared to his relentlessly buoyant TV interviews, but his high-watt smile was never far away.(In celebration of BTS’ appearance on the cover of Rolling Stone, we’re publishing individual digital covers with each member of the band; check back throughout the next week for more.)

Did you wake up and come straight here, or did you get a chance to do anything else this morning?

I went to the bathroom! [laughs]

So what have you learned about yourself over the course of this pandemic year?

It was an opportunity to learn how precious our ordinary lives were.  I had to think about how my life should go on and how I should just stay calm and focus even during these times. It was a time to reflect on myself a lot.

And what did you take away from that reflection?

The takeaway is I have to do what I can do best. Time goes on and life flows on, and we just have to keep doing music and performances. I just thought that I have to make music that can give consolation and a sense of hope to other people. You know, we’re just people, like everybody else. So we feel the same way as everybody else. So we just wanted to make music and do performances that other people can resonate with and that can give people more strength.

What you’re saying reminds me of the message of “Life Goes On,” which is a beautiful song.

That song came from thinking about what can we do during this time, during the Covid pandemic. It’s about the stories that we can tell at this point in time. It motivated us to really talk among the members about what we are feeling. So I feel that it’s an important song.

In some of your lyrics, you’ve revealed that there is sometimes a sadness behind the smile that everyone loves. How do you balance the positivity that you present to the world with the more complex emotions you may experience in real life?

Things are really different from how it used to be. I just try to show who I really am. I think that’s the most comfortable for me. Everybody has, you know, different sides from what they show. Of course, I do have a burden and a pressure as an artist. I just take them in for what they are. I just try to express that I’m going to overcome these difficulties.If I express those things, I think that also gives me a sense of consolation as well. We have been communicating with our fans ever since we became artists, but now I think it’s become more natural and comfortable. Before we tried to only show them the good side, the bright side of us. As my name is J-Hope, I only tried to show the bright side of our group and myself. But as the time passes by, one cannot feel the same way forever so I also felt other emotions. I tried to express those emotions through music or dialogue, to express them in a very beautiful way.

One of those songs is “Outro: Ego.” What were you thinking when you wrote that one?

It’s really about self-reflection, reflecting on who I am, my ego, as the name implies. It’s about the life of Jung Ho-seok [J-Hope’s real name] as an individual, and the life of J-Hope. And the conclusion that I draw from this inner reflection is that I believe in myself and I believe who I am, and this is my identity. And then these are the challenges that I have faced, and I’ll continue to face these challenges and do new things by relying on who I am.

In 2018, you released the mixtape Hope World, which was a major artistic achievement. What are your favorite memories of working on it?

You know, looking back, I think it was really pure, innocent, and beautiful that I could do such music at those times. When I work on music right now, I have an opportunity to go back to those emotions and think, “Oh, those were the days.” I think it really has a good influence on my music that I work on now. Through the mixtape I learned a lot, and I think it really shaped the direction that I want to go in as an artist, as a musician. I’m really just grateful that so many people loved my mixtape. I am planning to keep on working on music and to try to show people a [style of] music unique to J-Hope.

What are your thoughts on a second mixtape?

Right now, the goal is to get inspired and make good music. Nothing is decided yet, so I’m just going to keep working on music. I think my style of music will not greatly change, but I think it will be more mature. I will try to contain stories that I really want to tell in the second mixtape.

You just released the full version of the song “Blue Side” from Hope World. Was that just something you had the whole time, or did you finish it more recently?

It wasn’t a full version at that time, so I always had the thought of going back to that song and completing it. I always had that in mind. I think it was like two weeks or one month ago that I finally came to think that “Oh, I want to finish this song.” As I mentioned earlier, I really look back onto the emotions that I have when I worked on the mixtape.

When you started as a trainee you hadn’t rapped at all. You’ve obviously come a long way and developed some serious skills — what was that learning process like?

I still think I have some shortcomings. I still think that I have a long way to go, to learn more things. I have to find my own unique style. But I think I could only come this far thanks to the other members. When I first started training, all the members were rappers in that crew. So when you go into the house, beats were dropping, and everyone was just rapping in freestyle. It was kind of not easy to adapt at first, but I really tried hard to adapt to that new environment. And I think those were good times and good memories, and it was really fun as well.

You were very young when you began as a trainee. What’s it been like to grow up in BTS?

I think during my training, life was far apart from being ordinary. Because other guys, my friends, would do schoolwork at school and go on field trips and build memories as a student. And of course I chose this career, my own path, giving up those things. Maybe I could feel unfortunate to not to have experienced those things, but I was chasing my dreams. And meeting the members during our trainee days was really amazing, because it is just amazing that different people who were so different could come together to form a group. And I really want to thank those guys, and I sometimes I feel like I really want to go back to those days.

What do you think when you look back at BTS’ earliest videos, when you all had this almost tough image?

Back when we had released “No More Dream,” our music embodied the battle against prejudice and oppression. So naturally, such values carried over to the style and visual aspects of the release as well. You could say it was our identity and the image that we also portrayed at that moment. But we can’t forever dwell in that static state. As time flows, things change and trends change, as did our tendencies in music. We took into account the influences around us, including, of course, our audiences. These influences guided us toward our own change in musical style and concepts.

You’ve all said many times that when you first got together, there were conflicts because you had different backgrounds and different values. What were some of the key differences that made it tough early on?

We were just really different from the beginning, so it was awkward. It did take time to get used to it. We were living together, but we had to make sure we each had our own personal spaces. Eventually we learned to understand each other, and now we’ve been doing this for so long together that we have this sort of harmony, an understanding of each other that allows us to have the kind of teamwork we have. And each of us has different roles and different things we do in the music, so we also try to help each other in what we’re doing and try to help each other become better.

© source

[cathyparrlyn]

A warning to Tumblr and Discord users in the Six and WATT fandoms

Tw for stalking, guilt tripping, deception, suicide, death threats, and hate anons.

In the beginning of summer, there was an incident that showed the true colors of some of my former friends, especially one who has proven themself to be hostile and dangerous multiple times. I stayed quiet about this for a while as I wanted to forget the drama and the pain they caused me and my friends, but recently I’ve found out that they have continued to hurt many of my friends, claim a minor who was a victim of the situation had attacked them, and more. Because of such dangers, and because these people are present in both the Six and WATT fandoms, my friends and I found it necessary that we share this story as a warning to others.

On May 11, the Parrlyn Discord server was created. I, being an acquaintance of the server owner, was one of the server’s mods who would talk to everyone and work with the owner to make it a safer place. This server ended up being how I first became close with the person who caused so much drama: @Chess-exists (Chess).

Chess and I would talk on both the Parrlyn server and dms, and I soon joined other servers at their request. We considered each other friends, but they also set off many red flags. Some of the major of these being Chess lying about hacking into the Sixcord and deleting the server because “all the mods hated them”, claiming they can cry when ready and wanting to pretend someone on the Parrlyn server was dead to prank another person on the server.

In mid-June the Parrlyn Discord faced the 3rd big incident that has happened on the server. Someone jokingly entered under Moan-Jeutas’s (Lizzie’s) username, said “I’m 12, don’t attack me !!” and left when they noticed people were beginning to panic.

I was offline whilst this happened, and when I came online shortly afterward I found a few people panicked. Instantly, I was asked by multiple people to call them. I texted some of them while going on call with a friend of mine who is a young minor, @lakes-other-sixes (aka Lake), who was crying. I was then informed by Lake that they knew who had entered the server with Lizzie’s username. At the same time, a friend outside of the server had confessed to me through DM about being behind the Lizzie account along with one other person. They profusely apologized and explained what had happened.

Although my friend had made a mistake, I would like to give context of why they ever thought of the joke in the first place. When they were temporarily on the Parrlyn Discord, it was just starting out, with about ten people including us and nobody who had admitted to being triggered by Lizzie’s writing.

This friend and I constantly talked about Parrlyn fics together, and one of the things we mentioned was Lizzie’s Carrie AU and how I would have liked to talk to her about it but didn’t want to bother her as she disliked the ship. The friend and I had both been going through personal issues at the time, I will openly state that mine was how my uncle died not even two weeks before this happened, and they thought a small joke could cheer us both up.

So this friend and another person thought it would only be an innocent inside joke between friends to pop on the server and mess with me and some other friends. They had no idea how big the server was or that people were triggered by Lizzie and left immediately.

The joke was wrong, and we all have acknowledged that. They both deeply apologized for it to me and some others. They wanted to fix things with the server, but there was one problem; our friend Lake knew who they were.

Lake is an extremely sweet kid. They were never a part of the joke, but were extremely scared that if the people’s names were released then everyone on the server would hate them. It was to the point that they were crying on the phone to me for about half an hour because of the situation. Because of this, me and the friends figured it would be best to apologize anonymously; not for their sake, but for the others who were scared. So I talked with the server owner and made an announcement sending an apology from them through me.

This is just our side, and I know some will disagree with the decision we made, but I was informed that someone had talked to Lizzie about it and that she knew about the situation and the anonymous apology. We kept it anonymous because we would never want to put any kid into the panicked state that Lake was in, and I will take any responsibility if it means I kept a kid from anymore serious panic. I have also apologized to Lizzie formally, as well as getting consent from her to use her name in this post and offering to answer any questions she had, including giving her the names of the people behind the account if she wanted them.

This mistake from my friends, which they had apologised for, was what led to Chess showing their true colours.

A few minutes after I posted the apology announcement, I was instantly added to a separate group chat titled “Smack a bitch” where Chess and their friend, Aine, had requested the name of my friend behind the account. This chat was highly inappropriate and hinted they would possibly send them hate and I didn’t approve of that, so I said no and left. I then later got a message from Lake that Chess was now interrogating them to spill who was behind the account.

Not only had this bothered me since Lake was young and was open about their anxiety, but also nobody but me and Lake’s former partner had known that they knew who was behind the fake account. They were extremely nervous and asked for help and I said I would talk to Chess for them since it made them uncomfortable.

When I went to talk to Chess, I told them to stop interrogating Lake because this was giving people more stress and I wouldn’t talk to them if they continued. They refused and asked me to “back the fuck up”.

After this conversation, I thought it was over. That was until 3 days later when one of my friends behind the account got hateful anons and death threats over the situation.

These anons were alarming, so I went to talk to the server owner about them. After a long discussion, the server owner confessed to Chess telling them everything they had done to find my friend.

This next part might be triggering for some, just a warning about stalking. (Ends after the screenshot)

Chess had confessed to stalking both my Instagram and Tumblr by going through them and making a suspect list of mutuals I interacted with so that they could interrogate Lake, a 14 year old, into saying who was behind the account.

(Note, none of the people mentioned here were either of the people behind the account)

After I sent the message telling them to stop the interrogation, Chess made Lake swear not to tell me anything else, got them and Aine on voice call, and guilt tripped them into feeling forced to agree to be interrogated on who the person was.

After Chess had successfully got the name of one of the people behind the fake account from Lake, they told the server owner and a few others the name of the person. One of whom was @herequeerandreadytokickass (Lex). Chess had also confessed to Lex about wanting to send anons to the person behind the account whose name they had found out. Lex had not only told me this on call, but also told me that the “friend” Chess was referring to in the hateful anons was me.

Utterly disgusted by their actions towards the situation, I blocked Chess. That was it. I explained to my friends why I blocked them and told them that they could still be friends with Chess, and I left the Parrlyn server to avoid drama since I figured Chess needed it more than me and wouldn’t hurt anyone else after this.

Chess was very upset that I blocked them without talking to them, and I refused to unblock them since they made me uncomfortable by this point. They then told a few friends they were framed for the anons even after previous confessions that they had sent them, and the fact that the anons only pointed to them.

One of the people Chess talked to was Lake, who then tried to find who sent the anons. After I found this out, I called Lake and we both shared our sides of the story. This is when Lake told me how Chess guilt tripped them, but also figured out that Chess had lied to them about how they found out Lake knew. Chess had blamed it on me telling someone, when Lake’s former partner confessed to telling Chess that Lake knew.

This new information caused Lake to become extremely panicked. They were already dealing with stress and just found out they had played a small part in their friend getting sent anon hate and death threats. Chess lying had triggered them more. I talked to Lake and helped them calm down and they decided to block Chess as well.

Chess didn’t like this. They immediately began to spam Lake’s user on a server and also had three friends ask them to unblock Chess.

Not only was this disrespecting Lake’s mental health and decision, but one of the people who dmed Lake had angrily blown up at them. This was @flat-dr-pepper-chasers (Robbie).

By blowing up on Lake, who was dragged into this situation and emotionally manipulated, Robbie caused Lake to panic again.

Soon after this, I got notified that Chess was so mad at Lake, that they deleted a server collaborative fanfic because it was Lake’s “pride and joy”.

Lake had now been through so much and they didn’t tell me anything until it was necessary. I had received all this info from another source because I was an ex-mod of the server and a person involved in the incident, but Chess began to blame Lake and continued to hate them.

I couldn’t take it anymore when I found out that Chess, a 16 year old, deleted the fic to spite Lake, a 14 year old who they had until very recently viewed as a friend, when Lake didn’t do anything. I knew I couldn’t let this slide or more people would get hurt, so I rejoined the server as a mod again, kicked Chess and explained the situation so everyone knew what was going on.

Do to a limit on screenshots the next part of the post will be reblogged by me, might take a second though to add in the screenshots.

[speedygal]

Now I know the header tank is in the nosecone, the flaps, the common domes, forward domes, the name of the Veloci(Raptor) engine, the Rvacs (Raptor Vacuum), the booster---but that just comes from me lurking in lounge, nasaspaceflight, and watching the construction every day of each Starship model either through livestream, by photos, or information from spacexlounge. Something I didn’t know a year ago. Why am I so interested? Because one day, Starship Superheavy will be my ride to Mars.

SPPPAAAAACCEEEE.

MAAAAAAARRSS.

One starship that I will be watching in the future will be my own ride being built long after the prototypes. Watching the progress it takes to become safe and reliable for the public to trust has been a roller coaster, being stuck between “Scrub!” and “Launch!” and “RUD!” as it stands on the launch mount during each test is a moment of anxiety but historical one at best.

In a way it’s like watching a vehicle of necessities being built in real time with a eye on it and doing something else knowing what stage of development it is in, what the parts are for the ship, and how long it is going to take to be finished. A aspect of this change that people didn’t get to do while waiting for their vehicles, let it be trucks, cars, vans, minivans, to be made in a way like Starship is. It’s a amazing luxury to have. I’ll know on the spot when it is ready to launch me and other passengers.

Pinned against the chair as Starship Superheavy departs the planet, by gravity, by the sheer force of the flight, my hands on the arm rests, watching through the window of the ship pass through various layers of the atmosphere until being in space and waiting for the booster to come back with fuel for the flight to Mars. It’ll be my first and only flight and it’ll count.  I’ll know the name of my Starship by heart by then, the flight number as well, ingrained in my psyche. Floating along in space headed toward a new planet, among the stardust, among the space dust, among the stars, under the cloak of space for hours, days, weeks!  Watching the stars stand out against the dark canvas outside in the vacuum of space.

Then to step foot on Mars in a spacesuit would be incredible and so thrilling and vindicating and groundbreaking all at once and so exciting I am on MARS. The PLANET. The PLANET that has had tons of movies made about it and will have a lot more about colonizing it, including television shows set on it about life on it, all about a barren lifeless a planet which is so far away from Earth.

Mars is a planet that people have dreamed about, something that was so impossible and only could be something that would happen in 22nd century only twenty years ago! It’s only a distant light in the night sky but it will be a full on feasible place for most people once colonization begins with videos from Starships that landed there. No climate change going to kill the planet in the future and make it a unlivable planet. Just a existence of living in a protected area for the remainder of my life and go out occasionally and be so happy that I am there, maybe scream, cheer, jump. "I LOVE MARS!" UNDER MICROGRAVITY

It’s just incredible. Right now, we cannot go to Mars and it is a unknown frontier that seems still so impossible and not of this century to happen at all but it will be of this century and it will be a known frontier in a few years. For me, it will be odd, arriving to Mars because it is a planet far away from Earth, a planet in space, a planet that I have never been to before but had only seen in photos and in movies. It will be even odd because I am on a entirely different planet that isn’t Earth. A planet that was once a star in the sky and now Earth would be the very same. Mars by then, would not feel like place that was known as a destination but too far away and felt like it didn’t exist.

That moment being there be a profound one of being there. Perhaps a moment of relief initially that whatever weather anomaly happens on Earth won't impact me. It's one of many signs that we're in the future. I recall reading my social studies book and seeing a  picture with "here, a miner doing some mining in a tight space" and I went, "hey, we're in the 21st century!" inwardly and boggled me that we were still mining and not using solar energy.

I also recall reading a article in school about old solar panels that were losing watts and the owner is like, “It still works Just the amount that I need.” and the articles arguing against using solar panels for day to day power usage. I very much recall while reading, “Why don’t they buy new solar panels?” I don’t know what happened to that person but I hope they got new panels and are happy with them giving them the energy that they need just like future colonists getting what they need from solar panels on Mars and only needing to replace them every few decades, scheduled, paid for by SpaceX.

Being on Mars would mean to me that we are firmly in the 21st century, ironed out that nobody would die on the way to Mars by accident, progressed as a civilization, gone where no person has gone before (well, asides to the people before me who arrived to Mars) and departed their cradle.  The day mass numbers of people go to Mars will be the day that is marked in Earth’s calendar as the day the baby left the cradle and didn’t come back after a few short hours that date will be known in History books, historical videos, historical digital pages, what not, the date that humanity got out of the cradle, hovered above ground then got a silo with wheels and buzzed off to other rooms, to other cradles, to other places.

Musk will be a fully renowned historical figure, highly flawed, but someone so instrumental along with other engineers and welders in bringing humanity to Mars but he will be known as the man who cut down the length of history making it would take to get to Mars, he may be revered, despised, but remembered all the same.  Being on Mars means the future is here, it is now, it is going to be tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and so will humanity.

It’s insurance for our very survival even for the memory of humanity to linger on for eternity with dreams that came true for those who wanted to be the first round of people to be there. And someday, living on Mars won’t be amazing for a generation born and raised there, someday other planets will be in the spot of ‘I want to go there in Starship’ and that’s beautiful.