#and um... my work is shit compared to everyone elses'

[withahappyrefrain]

The 5 Times You Flirted With Bob + The 1 Time He Picked Up on It

Summary: You've fallen for your friend and have decided to drop some hints that you're flirting. Unfortunately, Bob doesn't realize that immediately.

Warnings: Language, no y/n, female reader, reader has a callsign (Honey)

Thank you to @dissonannce for this amazing idea. Thank you @acewritesfics for the dividers!

"Your hands are so big."

It took Bob a moment to register that you were in fact, talking to him.

"Oh! Um yeah. My ma made me do piano because she felt I was given the hands for them," Bob wiggled his fingers for extra effect, "Y'know, since they're so long."

Yes, they were quite long. It was one of the first things you noticed about Bob. Well, after you noticed his beautiful blue eyes, his endearing lopsided smile, the way he was so considerate of everyone else, so gentle, and yet there was an underlying confidence about him. He was sure of himself, but he didn't feel the need to brag.

Who could blame you for falling head over heels for him?

You flashed him a smile, hand reaching towards his.

"It's just, your hand is so much bigger than mine. See?" You propped his arm up, allowing your palm to press against his, both your fingers spread out to showcase the difference in size.

"See? My hand is so small compared to yours," You giggled. Bob looked down at your hands. Your breath hitched, your fingers twitching, dying to entwine with his.

"Yeah, there is quite a difference in size," Bob said, giving you that small smile you adored so much. That smile gave you the confidence to entwine your fingers with his.

"I think they fit pretty well together, see?" He wasn't letting go. He was still smiling as he looked down at your hand holding his.

Maybe this was finally it, he'd finally realized that you liked him and would-

"I'm gonna go get some more peanuts, can I get ya anything?"

You mustered up a smile, trying to cover up your disappointment, "I'll take a water. Thanks Robby."

As soon as he left, you shot Jake a dirty look, "Seresin, you said that shit would work!"

Jake, who had been pretending to play a game of pool with Bradley, Javy, and Mickey, put his hands up in defense, "Because it usually does! Everyone knows when a girl compares hand sizes it means she wants you!"

"Everyone but Bob apparently," Javy muttered.

"Maybe you just need to be more obvious?" Mickey suggested.

You sighed. You knew Bob. The last thing you wanted was to be so blunt it would overwhelm him. But at the same time, you two had been doing this whole 'friends but also more than that and I'm pretty sure we're flirting?' for the last month and you were getting annoyed with it how seemed to be going nowhere.

Perhaps Mickey was right. You were going to have to be a bit more obvious.

"Bee? You ready?" Bob called out from your living room. Bob's nickname of your callsign (Honey) always brought a smile to your face, as well as heat to your cheeks.

"Almost! Can I get your thoughts on this top?" You asked as you walked in.

"Yeah, I'm sure you look-oh." Bob's eyes widened as he took in the green top you were wearing.

It was tighter than the shirts you normally wore, highlighting your breasts. The fabric stopped right at the end of your rib cage, showing off your stomach and bringing attention to your high waisted jeans, which according to Jake "did wonders for your ass".

"What do you think?" You clasped your hands together, the action causing your breasts to stick out even further.

"Um the uh, the color is really great on you. B-brings out your eyes," Bob said, his eyes looking everywhere except you.

With the way his cheeks were bright red, it gave you confidence to step forward, your body now inches away from his, "I was hoping it would bring out something else besides my eyes Robby."

"I mean you you look great in everything you wear! So mission accomplished," Bob said quickly, his hands fidgeting with his car keys.

"Anything else you want to say about the outfit Robby? I really value your opinion." You stood on the tips of your toes, bringing your chest closer to Bob's face.

It was the first time since you walked in that his eyes landed on your chest. He cleared his throat, as if he was gathering up the courage to say it.

"You should grab a jacket, it's supposed to go down to the low sixties tonight," He said, turning around to head out the door.

God damn it.

You grabbed your phone, quickly texting the group.

Honey: We need to go to Plan C.

Rooster: Plan C?! You're saying the top didn't work?

Bagman: Dude, your tits were like out.

Rooster: Maybe they weren't out enough?

Coyote: If they were out any more, Honey would be getting a public indecency charge.

Phoenix: Maybe we shouldn't use clothes to express our feelings? Just a thought 🤦🏽

Fanboy: Yeah Nat, that's plan C.

Payback: Can we not blow up the group chat tonight? The finale of Insecure is on.

Your right leg bounced up and down in nervous anticipation, your eyes never leaving the entrance to the Hard Deck.

"You don't think this is too much, is it?" You asked your friends/coworkers.

"Nah, it'll be perfect!" Mickey reassured you.

"You and Bob are going to walk out of here holding hands by the end of the night, guarantee it," Jake commented as he lined up the balls for a round of pool.

It took all your strength not to jump out of your seat when you saw Bob walk in. His iridescent blue eyes scanned the room, landing on you. He always seemed to search for you, which had to be a sign that he wanted more, that he felt the same way as you did.

You greeted him with a smile, patting the empty seat next to him.

"Hey Robby! I got something for you!" You called out.

Bob just smiled as he sat down, "I see you got my signature: water and peanuts. Thanks Bee!"

You giggled, shaking your head, "Yes, but that's not just it. These are for you!"

Bob stared at the bouquet of flowers you were holding out for him.

"For me? These are for me?" He asked, eyes wide as saucers.

"Yes! I was just thinking, like why is giving guys flowers not a thing? Because it totally should be! And no one deserves these flowers more than you Robby," You explained, a hopeful smile adorning your face.

Bob gently took the bouquet, admiring each flower.

"I thought they would go well with your eyes-that's why a most of them are yellow," you explained, trying to hide how nervous you were.

"These are perfect," Bob said before leaning down to smell the flowers.

"Really? Each flower has a different meaning," you began, hoping that by fidgeting with your hands, you'd be able to conceal your nerves.

Bob simply smiled, his face the epitome of saccharine, "Oh, I already know."

Your breath hitched, "You do?"

Bob nodded, "Oh yeah! Alstroemerias symbolize support, sunflowers are for loyalty, and violets stand for intuition!"

He wasn't wrong. You couldn't tell if you were upset by that or the fact that Mickey forgot flowers can have more than one meaning.

Time for Plan D.

"Hey Robby! You ready to watch hot people make poor decisions?"

"Ready as I'll ever-that's new," Bob said softly, taking in the new loungewear you had on for your biweekly Love Island watch.

"Oh this? I think I got it last week," you said as you let Bob into your apartment, "It's super comfy and it has pockets!"

It also was cut low, showing off your cleavage, as well as the tops of your thigh.

"Yeah, the uh, color looks really good on you Bee," Bob commented. The compliment brought a smile to your face. He noticed you, noticed you were wearing something new, and seemed to be noticing your now exposed skin.

"Well, let's go see if these folks gain any common sense," you grabbed his hand, practically beaming at how your hand fit perfectly in his.

"Somehow I doubt it," Bob chuckled.

When he offered to hold the popcorn for while you two watched, you weren't disappointed. Sure, it meant you weren't able to hold his hand. But it did mean you could move closer to him, your thighs practically touching.

"I really hope he doesn't take her back," Bob muttered, his eyes glued to the screen.

"He will. They always do," you sighed, gently moving your head so it rested against one of his broad shoulders.

If your action had any effect on Bob, he didn't show it. Which was the problem.

"I would pick you in the recoupling," You revealed, hoping that would be enough, would finally be enough.

Bob smiled, placing a hand on your knee, "That's kind of you Bee. But I think friendship couples go against the nature of the show."

It took everything in you not to scream.

The rest of the night was just a typical Love Island watch night, no touching, no initiating, no declarations of love, and ending with Bob giving you a friendly hug goodbye.

With a sigh, you flopped onto your bed to check your messages.

Bagman: Bee, please tell us it worked and you're marking sweet love to baby on board

Phoenix: you're disgusting Seresin.

Rooster: why would they stop fucking just to text you Bagman?

Bagman: so we can pop some champagne to celebrate

Fanboy: Why the fuck is would we do that?

Coyote: It's a big event! Bee told Bob how she feels AND Bob's getting laid!

Payback: Can I just get one night of peace? Just one night?

You: No one's doing anything bc it didn't work!

Rooster: Not trying to be rude, but weren't you like almost naked?

Bagman: Like 52% nude.

Phoenix: JFC, we're going to plan E folks.

Coyote: Is that when we just lock them in a closet?

Bagman: No that's plan G

"Hey Bee!"

The cheerful, charming voice always brought a smile to your face.

"Hi Robby!" You greeted him with a hug, the comforting scent of rosemary filling your nostrils, "You smell really nice."

"Oh um thanks," A hand flew to the back of Bob's neck, a nervous (and also adorable) habit, "Wanted to smell nice after doing all those pushups out in the sun."

"Well it worked, you smell great," One of your hands reached up to the nape of his neck, toying with the hair that had curled at the end, "Look great too."

The tops of Bob's cheeks were now a dusty pink, "It's just a white Tshirt."

You took a step forward, placing your hands on his chest, "It's a good look Robby. Shows off your muscles. I like it on you.

Bob's lips parted, then promptly closed.

"Uh, t-thanks Bee." He had to know now that you were flirting with him. It was clear as day.

Feeling confident, your hands trailed down to his, grasping them, "We should dance!"

You didn't wait for Bob to answer, dragging him out to the middle of the floor. The sounds of Bradley covering Frankie Valli (begrudgingly, as apparently Jerry Lee Lewis was better) filled the bar.

After a few minutes, Bob's shoulders visibly relaxed, a smile spreading across his face. You threw your head back laughing as he bust out a goofy dance move.

Everyone thought Bob was shy, but that wasn't the case. He was observant, determined to get a good read on someone so he knew how to approach the situation accordingly. Once he was comfortable, his personality shined and he was a sweet, goofy man who you adored with all your heart.

The grin you had was so wide, your cheeks were beginning to hurt. But you couldn't stop, not when he was twirling you around.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?" You asked, having to say it into his ear so he could hear your voice above the music.

Bob shrugged, "I come from a big family. When you know you're going to a lot of weddings, knowing how to dance helps. That and my mom made me do cotillion."

"Well, all that practice paid off. You're a great dance partner Robby." You rested your chin against his broad chest, looking up to meet eyes bluer than the ocean.

In that moment, all you could do was focus on him. The way the corner of his eyes creased when he truly smiled, his comforting scent, his pink, thin lips that you were dying to feel on yours.

You wondered if he could hear your heart pounding, if he could feel it since your body was practically on his.

His hands found their way to your arms, gently placing themselves on your biceps. Was this it? It had to be.

So you stood on the tips of your toes, your lips now closer to his. Your eyes began to close as you leaned in to-

"I gotta go. Jake stuck his foot in his mouth again."

This wasn't a lie. But it still didn't dull your disappointment. Nor did it sedate your growing frustration at this whole situation.

Perhaps you didn't need Plan G or H Perhaps it was time to go with your original plan.

The next time you saw Bob was when Nat threw a small get together to celebrate the end of a long week.

He was wearing that damn white Tshirt again. Whenever he brought his cup of water to his mouth, the fabric stretched across his bicep.

Was he doing this on purpose? Did he know? Consciously or not, that you had fallen for him ever since you two first met at training?

Either way, you were tired of this game you had been playing for the past month.

"Are you sure about this?" Natasha asked.

You simply nodded before taking a shot of vodka. A little liquid courage was always nice.

"Nat, he's oblivious. Honestly, I don't know why we didn't do this the first time," Jake commented as he took the shot glass out of your hand.

"Because we didn't expect him to be that oblivious," Mickey countered.

"Well everyone, wish me luck." You walked out of the kitchen to find Bob still sitting on the couch, glass of water in hand.

His eyes met yours and he gave you a smile sweeter than honey. Your legs began to wobble, whether it was from that smile or your nerves, you couldn't say.

You walked over, making a beeline for him. Bob's eyes widened, his fingers gripping his cup. Your gaze was so intense.

"Hey Bee-oh!" Bob froze as you sat down in his lap, your thighs straddling his lithe hips.

"Hey Robby," your hands found his shoulders, fingers toying with the thin cotton fabric of his shirt.

"Uh Bee, there's um, there's a seat right there," Bob weakly pointed to the empty space next to him.

"I don't want that," you leaned forward, your forehead grazing his, "I want you Robby."

His eyes widened once more, as if he just saw an incoming train, "M-me?"

"Yes. Wanted you ever since that first day of training, when you offered me a mint," you told him.

"I uh, you looked sleepy and mint is known to wake you up and," Bob paused, "Did you say since the first day of training?"

You nodded, smiling at how you were able to see him process this information.

"The first day of training?" He repeated.

"Yes Bob, all you did was offer me a mint and smile to make me fall head over heels for ya," your fingers now went up to the back of his neck, twirling the curled ends of his hair, "Been trying to tell you that for the last month."

Bob opened his mouth, then promptly closed it, his brain still processing everything.

"You good Rob-" You never got to finish your sentence, as Bob decided right then was the best time to press his lips against yours.

His lips were soft and tasted faintly of vanilla, no doubt from the chapstick you watched him reapply. His touch was gentle, his thick fingers ghosting over your thighs, trailing up to your waist. Every move, no matter how small, made your heart fluttered.

Being so close to him, you could smell his aftershave, a mix of eucalyptus and sage. It was intoxicating and you wanted to be surrounded by it all the time, wanted to kiss him all the time.

When he broke away for air, you had to hold back a whimper, your lips desperate for more.

"FINALLY!"

You turned your head to find Bradley, along with Mickey, Natasha, Jake, Javy, and Reuben standing by the doorframe, in perfect view of you and Bob.

You smiled and opened your mouth, ready to make a quick remark. But Bob's fingers hooked underneath your chin, turning your head back to meet his lips again.

Unlike the first kiss, this one was bolder. His lips moved against yours with more confidence. Your whole body felt warm, as if you were floating. His hands now cupped your jawline, which is how you learned that Bob's hands practically covered your whole neck, a discovery that sent you reeling.

Your hands trailed up to his head, desperate to feel his sun kissed locks, desperate to find out if they were as soft as they looked. But just before you could, Bob broke away.

"What?" Anxiety came rushing back, dragging you away from Cloud Nine, your previous location. Did he regret it?

"Let's go."

He moved your body to the empty space on the couch, quickly getting up. You took his hands, allowing him to help you get up. You held onto one hand as he led you to the front door.

"Bob! What are you doing with my backseater?" Javy called out.

"Making up for lost time!"

Maybe you should be a little embarrassed. But how could you? You had finally kissed the man of your dreams, he kissed you back. He wanted to leave with you.

The sounds of the house party fainted, becoming soft background noise as you went outside.

Bob stopped, turning around to face you. Before you could get out a sound, his lips were on you again. His hands pulled your body to his, closing the gap in-between.

You couldn't help but moan when you felt his tongue slide against your bottom lip, immediately granting him entrance. You could hear Bob's breath hitch, his hands roaming across your body, touching your soft skin.

Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving you desperate for more.

"Why do you keep doing that?!"

"I...." His face was flushed, "I meant to ask you if if you drove yourself here. But you looked so kissable. You still do, God I just wanna kiss you again."

"I'm not stopping you Robby," you grinned, stepping towards him, "I'm not stopping you at all."

"Oh don't tell me that darlin'" his Midwestern upbringing laced his words. You always loved his accent, having found it not just unique but also comforting.

Somehow, despite his lips pressed against yours, Bob was able to walk you back to his car, your back meeting the cool metal.

His broad body draped over yours, his tongue frantically exploring your mouth. Your fingers reached up, grasping his hair. It was soft and much thicker than you expected.

What else was there about Bob you had yet to learn? What kind of toothpaste he used, if he drank tea or coffee in the morning. Did he fall asleep to rain sounds or silence? How many pillows were on his bed?

You wanted to know everything.

But right now, you just wanted to kiss Bob.

Your fingers tugged on his hair in an attempt to pull him closer to you. Despite his chest being pressed against yours, it wasn't enough. You wanted all of him.

"We should get in the car," He said, voice breathless. With the way his chest was rising, one would think he had just ran ten miles.

Bob began moving towards the driver's side of his truck, but he stopped, turning back to you.

"I want to take you home," He stated. It sounded like a confession with the way guilt laced his eyes.

"I would love that Robby."

Instead, he just shook his head, "But I shouldn't because you deserve more than that. You deserve a nice date, like that Italian restaurant we always pass when we go to Bradley's. You deserve that and flowers and a lovely dinner with candles and wine that's older than both of us-"

You cut him off by gently pecking his lips, "It's okay Bob. You could take me to that diner up the room from your place tomorrow morning and I'd be elated because I would be with you."

He shook his head, clearly torn between continuing to talk and continuing to kiss you, "But....it's the least I should do. I mean, after all the hints you were dropping. I thought you were just being friendly and-"

"What friend asks another friend to look at their chest?" You asked incredulously.

"I thought maybe we were just really close! That you were really comfortable around me, which is why I didn't think anything regarding what you wore when we watched Love Island. I mean," his face reddened, "I did think about it. Um I thought about it a lot and if you ever want to wear it again, I would not mind-"

"Bob," you stepped forward, placing your hands on his chest.

"I mean, you got me Violets! Those mean loyalty and devotion, as well as delicate love! And believe me I wanted to kiss you at the Hard Deck, but that is entirely Jake's fault-"

"As most things are."

"And looking back it was so obvious and I can't believe I didn't pick up on it," He paused, "Sorry, I I had to get that out. I can take you home or back to my place, whatever you want."

You giggled, delighted by his ramblings. You wanted to hear more of it.

"And now I just want to kiss you. Like all the time," He confessed, his lips moving closer to yours.

"Robby, get in the car," you instructed.

"Oh, um, okay," Bob unlocked his car, moving towards the driver seat.

"No Bob. Get in the back of the car," you instructed.

Bob's brows knitted together in confusion, "But then how will I drive-oh!"

Who knows if you were going to make it back to his place or yours. All you cared about was getting your lips and hands back on Bob Floyd.

[mrsackermannx]

chef!sukuna who’s still lower in the rank than he wants to be, but so close to being a sous. tonight is his night to do the night’s special dish, finally. he earned this. he knew that if the head chef just let him, he could create the best dish ever served at this damn place.

so, he does just that.

he’s immediately scolded, the dish uses too many ingredients, the head says. too much to prepare. too ambitious. even though he used all of the left over ingredients from the menu’s usuals. 0% waste, 0% additional cost.

sukuna curses, taking a deeper drag of his cigarette. “make sure no table gets that shit,” he hears, with his fists clenching at his sides. ill go to the gym after this, he thinks, yeah, punch the fuck out of that bag.

it turns out that only table 8 has the dish, your table. the server messed up and now they’re crying in the back to the porter because they’ve been fired on the spot. “i told you not to fucking take it! have you never done expo-“

sukuna stalks calmly to the shaking waiter, “show me table eight-“ he sighs, levelling the head chef with a glare, sukuna was much larger, much stronger than him, difference in rank or not. he stood down, stalking down the other side of the kitchen with a huff. “ignore him, i wanna see who’s eating my dish, come on, let’s go.”

a reassuring pat to the shoulder from sukuna was almost enough to make him cry even more. sukuna kind of hated everyone.

“just there, chef. the couple, bedside the pillar on the left…its um…her, chef.” he grins, watching how transfixed the normally gruff man is, “your girl heh heh.”

“shut up,” he says, but he smiles a little.

he watches you, sat opposite some guy you hardly look interested in, you’re beautiful, the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, as always, his eyes are drawn to you, no other woman could compare.

he watches you slice through his dish, the fork at your lips, as soon as it reaches your mouth you make a noise of such rapture, a sudden quiet falls upon the floor of the restaurant.

it’s almost weird how heat rushes low at the sight and the sound, he can’t remember the last time anyone else fired him up like this. he never took himself to have any kind of food fetish, either. yet watching you eat his dishes always seems to be an erotic exchange he never anticipates.

“oh…him? think they’re married?”

“i don’t think so.”

that man seems to hiss at you, eyes on his watch, barely touching his dish. “i wanted pizza downtown, god.”

you shake your hand in dismissal, shoving another forkful in your mouth. “i wanted this, i always want this.”

sukuna let’s out a breathy fuck, and the server practically faints.

no one was immune to sukuna’s charm, then, it seemed.

“oh, fuck, table 7 saw me. fuck, chef ive already been fire-“

“go and give them a reason not to fire you. go, go to your table kid, it’s still yours, right?”

the table beside you seems to have called him over, asking for the same dish you seem to believe has came from heaven, telling anybody who asks.

sukuna can’t help but enjoy the lively affair, as the restaurant manager tries to explain over and over to more and more tables that the chef special has been cancelled. oh, how he loved this little bit of chaos.

“why?” your voice clatters through the cacophony like a piece of silverware on crockery. “this dish is phenomenal, the best ive ever eaten here and in this city, in this country-“

“miss-“

“taste it! can you not taste the hard work? the thought? its the best thing ive ever eaten. the chef who made this has impeccable taste and talent.”

your laughter rings through the place at your partners embarrassment. sukuna is about to pry himself away and head back into the kitchen, leaning on the side of the bar and then…your eyes meet, another forkful is waiting before those glossed lips. another sweet sound of joy rings through the air.

now you see him, huh?

your smile is sweeter than agave, “it’s you.”

your words are lost on everyone around you, but to sukuna he hears them as if you whispered them right against his ear.

sukuna was a tall, broad, and unquestionably handsome man, unmissable out of his chef whites, invisible in them, somehow. obscured by the ambient lighting of the restaurant.

you near him, like a moth to a flame, a sensual air to the way your hips flick toward him. “you-“

the head chef storms through to the restaurant floor, the door slamming you both into the corresponding wall. his large arms wrap around you, his hand cups the back of your head.

he slowly retracts his hand, and your chest rises as you resist the urge to press your cheekbone into his palm, “are you okay?”

his voice is deep and addicting, dark and dripping down your throat.

you’re beaming at him, like he’s an angel, like he’s somebody you already adore. he gifts you a lover’s laugh, “you seem to be the only satisfied person in the building tonight.”

“seems like you’ve satisfied me sir.” you wink, still letting his aura press you into the wall, he cages you in with his arms.

“oh?”

“last thursday. that soup, you made it, didn’t you…?”

“sukuna,” he answers for you, “maybe.”

“seafood special last month?”

“yes, and your name?”

for some reason he’s out of breath, you’re so close, so fancy in your silk dress, clad in jewellery that sparkles even under these dimmed lights. “reader, you…you’re a genius.”

“so you came to thank me personally?” he leans closer, swiping sauce from the corner of your lip. it lingers on his thumb, his eyes chase yours as he licks it. “how sweet of you.”

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[4-linz]

Oops

Pairing: wooyoung x y/n

Genre: fluff, chaotic fluff lol

Warnings: some cursing(I gotta stay minimal with it tho bc I write these on my school comp 😭) , wooyoung is kinda panicking lol, wooyoung is called an attention whore but in a good way pls dont hate me 😭 ,reader is called ning like 3 times , grammar might not be correct I'm tired lol, I think that's it

Summary: wooyoung is confused on how you got into his heart, he never told anyone about his mental list he made, not even san so that should say something, so how did you do it? Was its on purpose to mess with him? Or on accident

Wc. 1.69k

A/n I wanted to write and I had just reread @yuyusuyu princess chronicles and I wanted to do something similar with wooyoung :) pls I'm dieing I h8 using ppls ideas but I'm in writers block and I need to write rn 😭 so creds to @yuyusuyu for the idea lol I hope this is good cuz I luv her work and I don't wanna ruin her reputation lol I also have a feeling this is gonna be a short fic bc again I'm in writers block and that's all i can take rn lolz

Wooyoung never thought he could find a relationship that was near the thing he and san had going on (even san doesnt know whats happening tbh), but here we are, you slowly winning over his heart. How? He doesn't know. He has a very very very very very- i can keep going but what i mean is he has a very secret procedure that even san doesnt know about, but it's a way you can take over his love life, so you somehow slowly completing the 5 steps was very concerning.

Step 1. Treat him like royalty

Well you don't have to bow down and worship him but you just have to treat him him like the mona lisa, praise him- and maybe worship him, he likes to be praised and feel noticed-attention whore is his middle name after all- so when you walk into the room with him and everyone else and you notice him first and COMPLIMENT HIM AND ONLY HIM?!?! He was feeling a little lightheaded, “ oh hi woo! I like your hair, it looks different! In a good way of course-” you said slightly rambling at the end “ oh- um yea… i um-” he stumbled out “ i uh WASHED IT, yea, yea i washed it." He said trying to redeem himself and act cool because seonghwa was looking at him weird. “ for once you washed it” san said scoffing, without him knowing- or did he? San had saved him from an awkward situation “HEY i do wash my hair thank you very much” he said huffing, pouting but quickly opening his eyes when he heard you laugh.

Step 2. Find him funny

(or just try to laugh at his ridiculous jokes)

The sound of your laughter filled his dorm, san had left to go out with Seonghwa, leaving him alone and so of course he invited you just so he could hang out with his now crush for a movie night!! Why else would he invite you over…?He found himself in a trance listening to your laughs, they sounded like music to his ears, literally he was listening to the rhythm in your laughs and thought they sounded so much like you, the beat matched your personality. ‘ wooyoung stop that's weird, and nothing like you.’ he said when he came out of his little bubble when ever he heard your voice tinted with worry as your friend was looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face and was very silent, which was very concerning given its wooyoung. The look of worry on your face made his heart flutter, where you really worried for him…? ‘ shit im fucked’ he thought

Stept 3. Worry/care for him

“ wooyoung? Are you in there?” your voice sounding small compared to the yelp wooyoung let out upon hearing your voice in his dorm.” OW SHIT, ning is that you?!” he yelped, he had hurt his leg and couldn't attend practice, him not being there worried you given he had always been there, so you went to his dorm. “Woo what were you thinking laying on the edge of the couch,be careful you could hurt yourself more if you do that?!” You said scolding him lightly,the worry in your face very clear,” you didn't hurt yourself more did you?, here let me get you some food so you don't have to walk.” wooyoung hoped you didn't notice the slight blush on his face when you lifted his chin forcefully checking to see if he hurt his face during the fall. “ Goddammit, step 3 , 2 more to go and I'm done for..” he mumbled “ did you say something?” you said, peaking your head out of the other room. “ OH-UM-NO '' he quickly said, hoping you don't suspect anything and hoping you truly had not heard anything he said.

Step 4. Being rough with him.

(do i really ahve to explain?)

Wooyoung's heart fluttered when you cupped his face and moved it left to right to see if he had hurt his face, he had fallen trying to learn how to skate. He had failed horribly but that's not what mattered right now, what mattered was you were holding his face. “ Wooyoung, I told you, you have to be more careful” you said with a slight pout, worried about your best friend. You had to put your whole body strength into helping him up because he was so zoned out all his body weight was on the floor. But the words that snapped him out of his little trance were enough to heal him right then and there “ when we get home do you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?”

Step 5. Physical affection.

“Ninggg hurry up and bring the popcorn” wooyoung shouted, he had been alone in his and sans dorn because apparently san couldn't deal with wooyoung's ramblings about you so he left with seonghwa, of well at least that means he can invite you over more right? Wrong, this is the first time in weeks he's invited you over because he couldn't muster up the courage to ask you.” I'm right here..?” you said laughing when he turned around and saw you, his eyes widened in amazement on how you could find that much popcorn in his house, where it came from? No idea he's been trying to find popcorn for a month and has found none so how did you find some? No clue, but he didn't really care as his heart picked up when you sat very close to him. Very close.and his heart picked up even more realizing you two were watching a scary movie. He could be your knight in shining armor and hold you close when you got scared. Well you ended up holding him like he's a baby but that didn't matter to him even though he's going to be very embarrassed later. What mattered right now to him was trying to calm his heart, from the jumpscares and the fact that you two were there cuddling?! Mostly the first option , but hey those things were scary, don't judge>:(

Another time he found himself in this situation was on his birthday, wooyoung and you tangled up in each other limbs, the others where getting the place ready so of course you offered to keep him busy while the others fixed up the dorm for him, so you invited him over, which he couldn't say no to you. He was laying on you the couch and you were running your hands through his hair, which in hindsight helped him alot with what he was going to ask you. You had single handedly finished all 5 steps without knowing? Or maybe you did know? He doesn't know but he needs to ask you about it. It's been eating him alive for the past week. He knows he shouldn't ask on his birthday because what if you say no? But he couldn't wait because, what if you say yes? No birthday present could top that. Here he goes, his heart racing he manages to strangle out a “ hey ning…? “ ew he thought, why did it sound like that, he was cringing until he heard you say back “ yes? Did you need something?” you smiling down at him calmed him down a lot more than he thought “ can i ask you something?” he took a deep breath “ of course, anything woo” you laid your phone down to put all attention on him, still playing with his hair. “ i um- do you um “ he stuttered “ dammit” he said sitting up “ is there something wrong wooyoung?” concern filling your face “ i like you. Like I ‘like like’ you.” he said getting it out there, but before you could say anything he continued “ and i was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime…?” he couldn't look you in the face because he felt like he would explode. For real he was holding his breath for so long he felt like he was going to burst. “ woo i-” you giggled and he turned around ready to be faced with rejection. “ of course i will” you cupped his face and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He looked like a lost puppy, eyes wide and frozen in shock “ wait you- you like me to?” ugh he sounded like a 2nd grader finding out their crush likes them back. “ Of course I do woo, who wouldn't love you?” you giggled at the end. Just as wooyoung went to speak he got interrupted by your phone going off saying it was time to bring him back to the dorm for his surprise.

Hwa: hey were done over here if you wanna bring him back

You: okay! But warn san if he's coming back to stay with wooyoung lol

Hwa: oh good lord

Smiling at yourself you took him by the hand and told him you two where going back to his dorm for something.Lets just say he went back to the dorm holding your hand and he was the happiest birthday boy in the world. But wooyoung had one more question before he went back to the dorm "wait so did you know about the list or not?" He questioned you "what list?" You questioned back "wait so your telling me you completed a whole goddammit list without knowing it ever even existed?!" He squealed out "Oops" you shrugged and laughed

[froshele]

You know we pick on the Aspirant but I think we don't do it comprehensively at all, because even among cultists I think they truly are special.

Nobody else is entirely normal compared to the librarian either. It's just that they have solid reasons to be doing their thing:

1. Exile has the world's most dramatic relationship to his father possible and is hopping continents and cities instead of working it out, sure. But it's (partly) because he's an Antaean, and Duffoure Senior really and genuinely forreal sucks.

2. Dancer is ... in a possibly survival based position that they choose not to leave for better things despite knowing that it's full to the gills with horrific occult threats to wellbeing. To be fair, they are within rights to prefer that to the attention of their patrons, but basically on the we respect sex workers and, what, adult entertainers website I don't really need to elaborate on the fact that whatever Dancer gotta do is whatever Dancer gotta do. At some point it may switch from getting that bag to becoming a chorus dancer for the Thunderskin, or to becoming a full time esoteric furry, but to be honest go sib go I refuse to fault the Dancer for anything they're my favourite. They were in what may be read as an inescapable pipeline and they won that shit, no notes, pack it in everybody.

3. It is a beautiful day and Priest is a terrible priest, actually I'm unsure of what Priest's deal is, I think Priest might just be Priesting correctly. Their religious framework sacralizes their despair and mania, which like, ok, not healthy maybe, but it gets them through the day without chugging opium!

4. Detective and Physician are just ill but functioning guys with jobs who happen to have totally justified brushes with the Mansus and make some rash decisions.

5. Medium??? Is a totally legitimate businesswoman don't even fret about it :)

Aspirant, though. Aspirant isn't forced into their life nor has it thrust upon them nor do they respond in any sense normally to being willed a bunch of occult stuff - they're just, like... Like That, from the jump, from the moment they as a surly hospital janitor have access to occult concepts. And the Like That that they are is totally divorced from their mechanically represented condition; everyone else has the same condition. Nobody else seems to make the same choice for the same reason, Just Because They Can -- the ending text is the same but I think the context, right, the context really does a lot of quite heavy work here.

Everyone else is /capable/ of pursuing one of Aspirant's victories, but, um, they don't really... I mean their heart's not in it, nobody seriously reads it as canon when they do. I bet you didn't even remember it was possible to ascend under a different Hour as the Dancer!

Which brings me to this: nothing at all has happened to make the Aspirant talk or think in their very instrumental and personally cruel type of way. Their existence as a menial hospital worker is far from as precarious as some others', their main gripe seems to just be that it's not very stimulating.

There's no backstory causing it, they're not undead, they seem to have not been working before because they think it's beneath them, they don't metaphysically or personally /need/ to be doing what they do. They do what they do /specifically because they crave that mineral,/ that mineral being for some reason immortality and phenomenal cosmic power.

And they WANT it. They want to be an unspeakable bodiless radiance or an ithastry-golem or one of the Grail's heaps of awful devouring minions more than anyone should have strength to want anything. It's a fixation for them, an obsession, possibly a symptom of their mental illness, since we have to manage what is actually a very strongly crafted but probably unintentional representation of bipolar with schizoaffective traits.

From specifically the point of view of ludonarrative integration I think it's fair to diagnose everybody in that game with a dread-fascination cycle in some capacity with some form of something in that general region. But Aspirant is probably the one with the worst coping mechanisms, and the one in the most need of help -- everybody else has friends or coworkers or voices to talk to at least, and something else to do in their life. The Aspirant... paints ominous pictures and smokes opium.

Exile grieves their dead, you get a card about it and heaps of exposition and all. BYT seems to be doing the whole thing kind of half as a bit at least at first, and I guess you could say they deliberately don't get too close to anyone. Physician is academically curious and honouring a patient's last wishes. Detective is just doing their literal actual rentpaying job. Dancer likewise, at first. Priest. Ghoul, if you want to get deterministic about it. But Aspirant just does all the culty horrible things the others have to be professionally inured to doing, /for no initial reason and with no training at all/ except a desire to cope badly with The Wolf, Despair.

Aspirant is just ... Aspirant. They just... are Aspirant. They're the most Cultist of all the cultists, even the other POV guys in that game.

Whatever Librarian does calmly and from a hinged mental state, no matter how eldritch, has nothing on Aspirant, who woke up one beautiful day [arning, burning, yearning, burning, yearning, burning, yearning, burning, ye] and completely uprooted their entire life to become an antisocial, occult hermit who isn't even very good at it

[pbaintthetb]

Invincible s2e5

It's here, it's here!! Some of my thoughts. Spoilers ahead

"He's never on the hook for the lives he destroys. Just leaves it for everyone else to clean up. Again and again." -> incredible

Brothers eh!! and also Debbie saying mark must get his nobility/reluctance to abandon people from her side ;-)))), especially since this is like one of if not the only time mark is compared to his mum and not his dad. (Whether it's a you're nothing like you're dad, you will be your dad, your dad doesn't influence my view on you)

debbie taking time off work ot look after mark's brother just after they all said they wer so glad she was back :-(( I get that she priortises mark's education though

oop the donald sub plot, forgot about that but now Im hella intrigued again, he a cyberman, though he's the six million dollar man to hear Cecil tell it (we can rebuild him...)

william boxed up mark's stuff.... oof that must have been rough (for william i mean, assuming he's dead)

cecil stfu and stop being a creeper- although if he wasn't like that he wouldn't be cecil, his job is to be a bastard in order to do what he deems necessary

"He's an alien. We're more qualified to take care of him."- very ominous very uncomfortable, glad to see mark isn't having any of it but still. actually ingernal loving mark's convo with cecil

Cecil's little side eye at the end, he's scared ohohoh. and that petty "im sureyour mum will love ooking after her ex's kid" like uh, no but she said she'll do it for mark and otherwise mark will do it so so?

Mark and Amber are cool, and yeah it's nice to see him listening to her problems even if maybe it's revealing that uh... yeah he can't be there for her and that's complicated (as mark said)

Rudy and monster girl is intersing, like i get why she's pissed and i get where he's coming from

DECEASED they all knew he was from mars.Almost disappointed because him desperately trying to be human was hilarious but also this reveal was the funniest fucking thing so, even his reveal felt so unhuman

also how noble and excited the abckstory is until the awkard... so I sort of tried to kill him but I didn't even do that right and now he's coming to earth to kill us all possessed by a hive creature

"No, before, I was lying. Now I'm telling the truth. It's very different." hilarious, might steal that.

Rex, gonna go OOC real quick, then pan to Atom Eve AMV... iconic, I wonder what this could mean /s

Ok I was like, stop commenting on everything but like Rex is a prick but the absolute funniest, saying that maybe Eve's parents WANT her to be abducted because they still haven't fixed her broken window lock killed me

also more seriously actually the familiarity with which they talk and rex moves around eve's room (the l atter would be weird if it weren't so obvious eve could make him stop if she wanted) is great? Because yeah they dated for a while, like they should know each other even if they don't get on anymore and it's great to see the evidence of that Similarly the fact taht Eve reveals at teh end she knew rex just wanted something but that she also does think he genuinely helped her see that she helps people

Man, mark :-( spread too thin, and he's realising it but what is the way out?? Butter spread over too much bread and you can't just put it back in the tin

Shapesmith's intonation and diction and also just his timing of what he says is, mwah, chefs kiss, incredibel

when is the shapesmith show coming, we've already had "Allan"???

was gonna say "nice fight scenes" then kate happened, and i mean they're still good but oh fuck holy shit oh god hog do

.um. well post the homeward guardians fight all I have to say is that it seems that Rex is ranking guardian after all.

Or um, them some cliff hangers amirite, sure do hope everybody is fine

but no did like Rex's last line of the episode and also King lizard's smarmy evil pragmatism ooh very nice.

[thewiz9062]

Smiling Critters AU: Bubba's Psyche

NOTE: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST. An accurate description of this au is that I took every playtime.co poster art and promotional material from the game and lit up the rest of canon in a bonfire. Meaning that EVERY character is part of one big cartoon. Thats it. No bigger bodies project, no child souls, no experiments, just a depiction of a cartoon. PLEASE do not ask me to do anything suggestive with anyone.

OK so Bubba

I wanna say he's underrated but then picky exists so.... he's close though

Anyways I wanna do him justice like everyone else I did so here this is.

I've already stated in his little character profile that he doesn't take shit from people looking for him solely for his smarts, or to use him as a doormat to get what they want, but I'm not saying he's mean, if I had to rank the most energetic and excitable critters in my au, it would go Hoppy, Dogday, then Bubba. (I do love a wild card bubba, im actually writing something that shows hes not afraid to get a little illegal) It really just depends on intention, which he is good discerning.

He's like a older brother you can go to if you want to know something, but he won't be like that if you're only there for the info. I also fought the urge to make him the "um, actually" type of smart person but he's not that. If you bring up something he'll add extra info that's relevant in a way you can understand, and if you said something wrong, he won't interrupt you, just tell you later.

Oh and another thing, he's not just naturally smart, he's good at remembering things. The reason he knows such topics in the first place is stated here, but a short summary would be that he wanted to help his parents out with money bcuz they're not the best financially (not poor but like, just enough. As in cuttting it close with prices and bills) so he's trying his best to get the greatest education to make enough to help them. So he's put work in to get where he is.

And that brings up another topic, I said, and i quote "adhd and autism solidarity" in his and kickin's introduction

...never said which had which

Wanted to do a good switcheroo from common fanon by giving Bubba the adhd.

So like imagine this:

> Bubba reads article about something he wants to know cuz he's bored

> sees link in middle or end of article with interesting topics (usually a fact list)

> oh! That looks interesting!

> clicks link

> reads

> repeat 70891 times

That's how he knows about, like 40% of his stuff the rest is normal research. Just wanted to explain that

Anyways, Bubbas smarts main purpose is to help, it's the reason why he's smart in the first place. Him and Bobby get along really well, usually being the ones who organize events that dogday and the rest choose.

So yeah, not much compared to others but that's Bubba in a nutshell

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[ruinationz]

hey guys just wrote the requested fic ever. throws this at you like a rabid dog

thank you to @bambi-on-the-ps3 for additional help

hope you guys like this because i went through all the stages of grief doing this if you make this weird i'll fucking kill you

description from ao3 and shit:

(("Maybe some Caine x Pomni if you're comfortable with it, please? :D"-UrSw33t3stNightmar3, this one's for yuo))

(trips) kyaaah how embarrassing i tripped and fell onto the keyboard and made this oh noooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

(or, caine has many sides to himself.)

(pomni is somehow lucky enough to see one that he's never shown to anyone else before?)

actual fic under the cut

In Pomni's eyes, Caine was a highly complicated person.

Through the duration of her stay in the digital world (albeit short), she had seen Caine display his, often shifting, array of personality. Right when Pomni was finally starting to figure out his patterns, the ringmaster would somehow paint himself in new behaviors.

She could only compare his bizarre emotional patterns to a chameleon; One color for one moment, and a different one the next.

Some (and by some, she meant a majority) of his "colors" were...beautiful, in a strange sense.

And others, well...not as pleasing to the eye, to put it simply.

Caine really was something else, and she couldn't quite wrap her head around it.

But even so, Pomni took some sort of comfort in the fact that she at least had familiarity with every shade of his personality that he showed to the group.

...

"POMNI, MY DEAR!"

The ringmaster's characteristically loud voice soon cut through her thought process, and she looked up to find him standing before her.

"YOU DID ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS IN TONIGHT'S PERFORMANCE! STOLE THE SHOW, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF!"

...Oh, right. She'd gotten distracted from the situation at hand.

It had been a long day of one catastrophe after another, with not a single moment for the makeshift troupe to rest. And now, the only thing anyone could ever do was immediately collapse in exhaustion after all the antics they were dragged into.

Giving a sigh as she grounded herself back in reality, Pomni managed a small smile as she met the ringmaster's gaze. "W-Well, um...thank you...?"

"YES, YES, OF COURSE!" Even with the absence of facial features, she could tell that Caine was absolutely ecstatic as he beamed down at her.

"AND, YOU KNOW...I TRULY BELIEVE THAT ALL THAT HARD WORK DESERVES...A REWARD!"

...

What?

"...Huh? I-"

Before she had the chance to ask anything further, Pomni found herself taken by the hand as the ringleader dragged her away from everyone else.

For a moment, she was confused.

Where was Caine taking her? What was he planning? Was she safe? Was he safe? Pomni felt like her mind was running at lightning speeds as it sifted through all the possible scenarios, and each one only made the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach grow further once Caine finally stopped the duo in some unknown area of the circus.

Oh, dear.

Knowing the ringleader, he'd most likely do something rash and send everything into chaos. Perhaps his "reward" would be another bizarre "performance". Or...what if it was something harmful? What if it hurt her? What if it hurt him? What if-

Just as Pomni's worries reached their peak, the cluttered thoughts that filled her mind came to a screeching halt as Caine delicately took her hand and, almost hesitantly, bent down to press it to the lower row of the teeth that made up his head.

The ringmaster, in that moment, almost seemed just as shy as Pomni was as he released her hand and returned to his normal posture.

"...I-I, UM..."

He stumbled over his words, trailing off into an awkward silence. She watched as he shifted his weight from side to side, messing with his bowtie whilst he looked away from the jester, then finally clearing his throat before inhaling deeply.

...

"W-WELL! I'D...BEST BE ON MY WAY." He managed to stammer out, as if he'd given up on what he'd truly meant to say.

And just as quickly as he dragged her into it, Caine left the area, leaving Pomni to process the situation alone.

She gave a few surprised blinks as she held her hand close to her, gazing down at the back of it as the realization of what Caine had done slowly dawned upon her.

If that small, innocent gesture, that tiny "reward", was a glimpse into who the "real" Caine was, the shade of his personality that he'd never shown before...

...

...Then god, was it a pleasure to get to know him.

"Did you see where Pomni went?" Ragatha questioned Jax as she glanced around the area.

"Nope. Not my problem," The rabbit shrugged. "Probably never will be."

The doll rolled her eyes at his response. "I'm not too worried, to be honest. I trust her to pop up again!"

"If you aren't worried, then why'd you go and ask about it in the first place? That doesn't make much sense to me."

"..."

Jax snickered at the lack of response from Ragatha. "Don't got a good answer, huh? Looks like I win that one."

Giving a small, frustrated huff, she turned away from him as the two shortly went back to meeting with the others.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Watching a documentary on Edward II while I work and in this doc:

1. They repeatedly call Piers Gaveston Edward's "best mate" and "close friend", then have one seven-second acknowledgement that they were probably lovers before immediately returning to calling them pals, buds, just mates being dudes, my guys, just bros like bros will be, totally normal friendship here

2. Piers is not depicted as half so pretty as he likely was. He is handsome, yes, but very... dirty compared to everyone else? And also, dude, brush your hair. Come on. Piers Gaveston was famously not only arrogant but vain!

3. The actor playing Edward is playing this documentary dramatization like he is going for the motherfucking Oscar, he is amazing. I love him, my God someone give this man jobs and money!

4. They speak French! Just like everyone actually did!

5. Hugh Despenser has perfect hair, which seems in character

6. The documentary definitely doesn't admit the simple truth that Hugh Despenser the Younger was almost certainly Pretty Man Bait to get Edward II to give the Despensers power.

7. The doc DOES do a great job of showing what an absolute disaster Edward II was at basically everything forever

8. It does contain the most excellent line, "To the people of the time, Edward could have been bedding his priest, his page boy, and his horse, so long as he was governing the kingdom properly."

9. Isabella's actress is also incredible. That woman does some impeccable face-acting.

10. Man. The moral of this documentary - and of his life - should be "This man did not deserve the wild glory inherent in his amazing wife."

11. Now Hugh Despenser needs to brush his hair! Maybe Edward just likes 'em grungy.

12. Edward is the epitome of being shown exactly what he needs to do and then doing the opposite.

13. I am genuinely impressed at how carefully they dance around admitting that Edward was definitely up in Hugh Despenser's business, too. His manly business.

14. Wait, I take it back. The real moral of this story is "take a woman's children from her arms and she will burn you to the ground and spit on your ashes."

15. Honestly, I don't blame her.

16. THEY CALLED HER THE SHE-WOLF FOR A REASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

17. Also, hell yeah for Isabella's brother the King of France working with her on this. He absolutely knew Isabella was being underestimated and he made sure he never did.

18. Oh, so we can admit Isabella and Roger Mortimer were sleeping together, huh? We can admit that? I mean as long as it's decently hetero, sure, let's have a whole sex scene. But God forbid we admit Edward and Piers might have held hands under a tree even once.

19. THEY PUT A SEX NOISE IN EVEN

20. Honestly now I'm mad.

21. "She has a number of men closer to a moderate house party than an invading force." Okay, that line redeems you somewhat.

22. Awwwww puppies hunting the disgraced king, sweet. I love when dogs are clearly checking for cues from their trainers just off screen.

23. A FIFTY FOOT GALLOWS SEEMS EXCESSIVE. Oh holy shit they hung him without quite killing him, then de-genitaled and- god damn, Isabella. This seems like a bit much.

24. SHE MADE A POINT OF EATING WHEN THEY CUT HIS DICK OFF.

25. Isabella is terrifying. I am in wild irrational love.

26. I'm sorry they put WHAT up Edward's ass. A red hot WHAT

27. I feel like that probably didn't actually happen but honestly, I don't doubt Isabella is capable of it. And also, um, these deaths seem... To send a message.

28. "Edward's wife and her lover-" oh, are you sure they're not just best mates? Buddies? Pals? Like Edward and Gaveston?

29. Oh he probably just like... was smothered. That makes way more sense. He could be "found dead" then and it could be claimed to be natural causes.

30. Underestimate pissed off French women at your peril, English kings.

[shenrickyz]

˖ ་ 💭 INTERVIEW !?﹙ft. hong yohan﹚

𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 dedicated to jj (@junjiie) his number one fan

𖥻 Q: when you were first chosen as the leader of meliora, what kind of reaction did you have?

𖥻 YH: i was pretty, well— surprised because i expected for someone much more, you know.. extroverted to be chosen as leader because in my experience, that really always worked out. of course, it's not like i didn't want to be the leader of meliora, i was just afraid i wouldn't be able to do it as amazingly as i hoped.

𖥻 Q: before becoming an idol, did you have any other dreams?

𖥻 YH: not really, i always wanted to perform. i love singing and dancing, and really the only thing i think i would've wanted to be besides an idol is probably a music teacher, besides that, i never did have any previous dreams for a career.

𖥻 Q: your favorite and least favorite trait of yours?

𖥻 YH: i am a very strong willed and goal oriented person, i often never give up and power through things even if everyone else is hopeless, but, i find that i do sometimes come off as condescending and i often appear as if i think of myself as superior compared to everyone else. i think it's because i've become very sure of myself but i do look like i think i'm better than everyone and it definitely makes me look a little narcissistic.

𖥻 Q: your favorite song?

𖥻 YH: ko ko bop by exo.

𖥻 Q: will you ever get a tattoo?

𖥻 YH: um.. maybe not now, i don't even know which ones would look nice on me. junmin and i were talking about maybe getting matching ones in the future, but i don't know yet.

𖥻 Q: a random thing you enjoy?

𖥻 YH: absolutely scaring the shit out of my members. i don't even do it on purpose, sometimes i just appear and freak them out, or just seeing my silhouette in the dark is enough to freak them out, apparently, according to yaejoon, my footsteps have no sound, which is why it's scarier when i appear because he can identify each member by their footsteps alone.

𖥻 Q: your best friends in the group?

𖥻 YH: junmin and hajoon for sure. my same age members, it's just this thing i have with them, they both fit me in a way i can't exactly, explain, you know? but i love them both very much, even though junmin dislikes acknowledging that.

[acatinafancyhat]

Watched Chess på Svenska last night since people have been recommending it! Boy it was A Lot. My family has no respect for bonkers Swedish musicals so i'm just gonna vent the thoughts i had while watching it here. Beware of spoilers (though I probably haven't even noted half of the crazy shit that happened this show is really something else).

I had only seen RAH Chess in Concert and a few snippets of other versions going into this so that was my baseline, but in hindsight these two versions aren't really comparable since they're barely trying to tell the same story...

This is a little long I apologize i had many thoughts (: Also this formatting may or may not work, I'm about to find out.

Act I

- First impression: oh wow Chess has a plot now

- So Anatoly is the protagonist? Interesting.

- I like Swedish Florence she's cute? However Swedish Freddie has been on screen for five seconds and he already Sucks

- Ok I was NOT prepared for drunk florence singing nobody's side but turns out that's exactly what this musical needed

- Oooooohhhh Florence and Anatoly running into each other in the hotel could it be?? that this version?? actually invests in their relationship????

- Jean Jaques van Boren what a name, and he didn't even need one

- This arbiter is in a show all of his own look at the little man go he's so into it. Into what, I'm not sure.

- Wait is he flying on a wire because he's above the game is this symbolism

- Did Freddie... did he just... eat a chess piece?? I... what...??

- Aww hungover Florence is trying so hard to be dignified i'm already very up for her walking out on Freddie in this one.

- "the toads fall out of your mouth" heh idioms from other languages are the best

- Um this arbiter kinda gives me the creeps?

- Florence and Anatoly hanging out! bonding! not just running off into the sunset after being in the general vicinity of each other for 5 minutes!! (No offense to RAH Mountain Duet it's great and hating on Freddie together is a hilarious catalyst for their relationship but I'm actually getting invested here)

- Someone Else's Story is literally a different song but it works

- "husband" wait are Florence and Freddie supposed to be married in this?

- Sneaking away from Molokov ahahahaha

- oh sHIT YOU LEAVE THAT CHILD ALONE!

- And they are aware that there is no embassy in Merano yes thank you i did wonder about that like these places don't grow on trees how did they all even get there in RAH?

- Coming to the conclusion that everyone in Merano is batshit crazy

- And just realized that Walter isn't even here. Does he not exist? Has Sweden canceled the CIA?

- Swedish Mountain Duet is also a different song. Anatoly is very charming yet has lowkey Bastard vibes. Florence is clearly having a minor mental breakdown here maybe don't drag her into your midlife crisis? Oh well, at least he has some respect for her, unlike chess piece munching Freddie...

- But "She's my only friend" aw fuck now i have feelings about this asshole

- Anthem is good. Anthem is always good.

Act II

- Start of this act is already looking Intense

- Swedish Freddie is such a trainwreck my god.

- How To Lose a Girl in Ten Seconds the autobigraphy by Frederick Trumper

- "So you want to break up" FUCK the look on his face just killed me

- This Pity the Child is somehow more pathetic than other versions I have seen. And i mean that in the best way. He's hugging the pillow. Just wants mommy to love him. Fuck.

- So here's Endgame showing up early hmmm

- And here's Anatoly evolving from lowkey bastard into full on piece of shit. Has Svetlana done anything to deserve this abuse? Not to my knowledge, no.

- "You're an ass!" Sveta sweetie you are absolutely correct

- But at least he loves his kid I give him one (1) credit for that.

- I have mixed feelings about Heaven Help My Heart in RAH but it works much better here in terms of both timing and lyrics!

- Oohh new Svetlana song (heard of it but never heard it). Yes Sveta you TELL him.

- Merano reprise?

- Happy Florence!!! Happy Florence!!!! Happy Florence is adorable look at her precious smile!!!!!

- Aaaaand in comes freddie to fuck it up.

- (gets his kicks above the waistline but sure knows how to hit below the belt)

- "Take it easy, little friend" omg

- *aggressively clinging to each other while singing about how they never want to see the other person again* yep i'm dead

- This Freddie really has zero redeeming qualities AND YET

- oh random acrobatics? cool. i'm no longer surprised by anything that happens on this stage.

- Jean Jacques van Boren is back. I want to compare him to something but every time i see him my mind just goes blank in quiet horror.

- Svetlana strolling in to slay that cheating motherfucker

- Ok I support Sveta's rage always but I have to say i do not love this flipping of I Know Him So Well. I mean, what's the point? Why do they have to fight? It's not like it's Florence's fault Anatoly decided to run off (at least not in this version) since it was pretty clear from the beginning that him and Sveta weren't doing,, super great. The original song has its own issues but I stand behind the concept of Florence and Sveta bonding over their shared experiences with shitty men and especially this shitty man. Now it just makes me like both of them less. And it still doesn't pass the Bechdel test. Ugh.

- Molokov gets a Tragic Backstory because everyone needs one i guess

- It is not smart to fuck with the KGB. Anatoly appears startled by this.

- Side note this act has too little Freddie in it where's my epic rivalry where is the drama

- The way the stage is set up for the final match is pretty cool though

- This match feels a little anticlimactic but in a way that sort of works? Everyone's made their choices already? This is just the inevitable end to the tragedy and you can feel it.

- It does make the whole 'singing the names of previous champions' thing seem a little out of sync. We're past that, this obviously isn't about chess anymore.

- The circular ending is neat. The Story of Chess still doesn't fit the rest of the narrative. Again, very little actual chess in this.

- At this point I don't really care about Anatoly's feelings but Florence deserves better. Normally I'd say she deserves Svetlana but this Svetlana is kind of terrible so, hm, no. She deserves to be single and recover from her breakdown in peace i honestly don't want her to see any of these people again.

Well I definitely understand why this is some people's favorite version! The story's close to solid, and even though everyone's an asshole, they all have their moments of being... if not sympathetic, then at least just pathetic (looking at you Freddie) enough that the audience can give a damn. Personally i still prefer RAH, but then I did come here by way of Rent so I'm biased.

Anyway if you haven't seen Chess på Svenska yet go watch it, you will come out of the experience a different person but you won't have wasted your time :)

[gumjester]

👩‍🏫👩‍👧👤🪞?

👩‍🏫 - favourite + least favourite faculty member?

favourite faculty member has to be baba yaga 🤞there's something so great about The Witch Who Eats Children working at a high school, but also she seems to just be good at her job? everyone's pretty chill with her even if she is a bit of a royalist (which tbh get a grip lady. the girlbossery is compromised by this) and she like puts socks in the punch at thronecoming for her own personal vibes... raven has to chase down her fucking office in tsol because baba yaga does not see fit to have a stationary point of contact for any student... she's great. my idol

least favourite.. i could say grimm but honestly a) cop out. everyone hates grimm and b) i genuinely kind of love him 😭 he sucks so bad its entertaining. its great whenever he just gets hit in the fuckign face for no reason. so least favourite is rumpelstiltskin. HE SUCKS NOT EVEN IN A FUN WAY HE JUST USES CHILD LABOUR TO BUILD HIS CRYPTO EMPIRE OR WHATEVER. WHYYYYY do you need bitches to spin straw into gold is your paycheck not already covering the rent for your little fuckin caravan you manlet

👩‍👧 - favourite + least favourite parent?

i tried to subvert expectations with my faculty answer but my favourite parent can't not be the mad hatter which is THE basic answer. but girl let me have this i forget good fathers exist its nice to have my faith restored whenever his friendly little face is on screen. great bow tie ! great voice ! he's a king

LEAST FAVOURITE UM. i cant say snow white that's boring um THE RED QUEEN. FUCK THAT LADY. EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT HER HAS BEEN MADE UP BY SOMEONE ELSE AND THEY SURE AS SHIT DIDNT LIKE HER SO I DONT EITHER

👤 - favourite backgrounder + which fairytale do you think theyre from?

AGAIN!!! THAT LITTLE GOTH BITCH <3 my memory of fairy tales has depleted somewhat recently but i saw the wiki say she might be death???? from a tale called godfather death and i like that idea :) i would like to think death looks as awesome as her

🪞 - which character is most like you and why?

my pfp is maddie for a reason!! i have always seen myself in her, and my friend used to compare me to her all the time which just solidified it further. i've always been spacey and spoke weirdly and a lot of the time the way i think of the world doesn't match up to what other people perceive, and seeing that in maddie was always rlly comforting. plus i love riddles, wonderland and tea. so i get her fr 🤝

i will also give an honourable mention to alistair, at least my characterisation of him. to me he is perpetually charlie day at the corkboard. i know how you feel, al

[m1d-45]

ok i'm ready to explain the plot of shining nikki now but it is so much so i need you to be mentally prepared for that thanks (also i'm color-coding again bc the amount of paragraphs will be insane)

so it's actually the sequel to a game called love nikki (where you and nikki have to save miraland because it keeps getting destroyed but i didn't play that one so we're not even touching it) and takes place in the past! like 100 years before love nikki i think? you and a fashion designer named nikki (and momo the cat descendent of the momo clan) get transported from earth to the ocean of memories (hence the whole. interdimensional travel shit) by this guy named leonid who predicted that miraland would be destroyed oh no!!! well it's more like leonid's like "yah miraland's gonna get destroyed and there's nothing you can do abt it so how about i just send you back to earth because you literally cannot stop its destruction it's fate or whatever" and nikki's like "okay but what if...... I Did do something about it" so the three of you go to miraland to try and stop its destruction because this shit keeps happening!!!

you then wake up in a boat in the ocean of memories called the ark which is run by a guy named aeon and his little sister marina, you essentially exist as a voice in nikki's head, um. the three of you discuss everything about the whole apocalypse thing before aeon and marina send you to the first country, apple federation! not much important happens here it's just the introduction to the mechanics of the game and also you almost get blown up on a train by a terrorist group so there's that.

you all go through several countries trying to find the second piece to a manuscript written by leonid that will apparently help you stop the apocalypse but everybody else also wants this piece!! including: evil CEO mercury, actor/informant qin yi who i Hate for fucking with my girl nikki, and cult queen lilith! who is the one in charge of the cult! she's important.

anyways shit happens nikki almost shoots someone THEN we get to the dawn duel event aka the end of part 1. it turns out lilith struck a deal with the literal devil to make everyone love her and summoned an evil goddess into miraland who tries to destroy everything so now nikki has to fight her while everybody else works on rescue efforts. it's a whole thing. it's fucking crazy.

after that you all end up back in the ark to try and discuss shit except holy shit!!! you the player now have a physical body due to the styling power used during nikki fighting a literal god!!! and aeon and marina can now leave the ark instead of being stuck on it! yay!!!! so you all go off to do research on the gods when a particular god keeps showing up named the deity of styling.... who suspiciously looks just like you, now that you have a physical body to compare.... it's honestly really funny bc the player is like "guys..... i think i'm the deity of styling" and everybody else is like "yeah it was fucking obvious you're literally the last one to know" it's implied that something happened with the ocean of memories years ago that took away the player's knowledge of their godhood but nothing's been revealed yet. we just gotta wait and see.

and the deity of styling had five envoys to represent each attribute of styling: elegant, fresh, sweet, sexy, and cool. so you, nikki, and momo decide to go and find these envoys while aeon and marina go back to the ark to keep an eye on the ocean of memories and um. yeah. that's the incredibly abridged version of it. your godly abilities are still limited (the biggest thing i remember being you using your styling power to save the envoy of sweetness from a deadly fall) but there you go. if i tried to explain every single subplot i think it would last forever. this isn't even mentioning the elves or the war or the other things with lilith or the time loop or even any of the limited-time events because that's Too much

anyways. yeah. shining nikki. wild game. love it - teddy anon

i’m feeling every emotion at once

so many questions. still. why did leonid summon you just to say “actually no thanks”? “not much important happens” yet we get bLOWN UP ON A TRAIN???

why did leonid write the manuscript to stop the apocalypse? why does everybody want this piece? not like they can decipher it without the first right?? “the dawn duel” FUCKS as a name and i’m not surprised the character named lilith summoned the devil BUT it implies the existence of hell?????????????

excess styling power somehow creates a fucking physical form for the player? why were they stuck on the ark?? isn’t it a boat????? also the “no shit we all knew” is VERY funny 11/10

also reading “elegant, fresh, sweet, sexy” followed immediately by “cool” dealt psychic damage

also ELVES?? AND WHAT WAR??

TIME LOOP?????????

[goofyjelly]

Star Trek TOS (2x02) : Who Mourns for Adonais?

Oop Scotty is in love (this girl WILL die)

GIANT HAND

Vulcans are a bummer, so don't beam down the sad man >:(

Again with the casual Vulcan slander! Why do they keep doing my boy dirty like that???

Fjsldjskdj oh no the girl Scotty likes beamed down, she's not beaming back up 💀💀💀 Scotty can't have shit on the enterprise 🥲

APOLLO ->

APOLLO

Hehe the hand is so silly

THE POV SHOT OF THEM ALL LOOKING UP AT APOLLO-

Fascinating ✨✨✨

Oop Scotty's crush is a mythology nerd she's DEFINITELY leaving Scotty for Apollo or something INSANE like that.

Kirk , you can't really immediately believe he's the God Apollo-

YES SCOTTY WE ARE CAPABLE OF WRATH!!!

oh fuck no I was KIDDING! I was KIDDING when I said that girl would fall in love w-

"you seem wize, for a woman" excuse me???

I can excuse the god-like wrath, but NOT THE SEXISM

Scotty 🥺 the narrative hates you, I'm so sorry 😭

Ah jeez, she's DEFINITELY into it 💀💀💀

BWAHAHAHAJ GHE COSTUME CHANGE WHY- WHY?! She really just immediately abandoned the captain and the enterprise. Like girlie you took an oath. DONT ACT LIKE THIS IS A SACRIFICE TO YOU-

Scotty is so sweet,

Okay Kirks right, maybe I was so fast to judge her, maybe she's trying to get info. The star trek pattern of lots of dumb women is getting to me.

Spock, you're doing great, but this clearly isn't working

She seems a bit too smiley to be doing this for "strategic purposes" 💀

Ooo okay so in star trek universe Greek mythology is real but they were all aliens? Okay, thats definitely a choice™

"God's took mortals to love and care for-" oh oop called it.

"Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim" awwwwww Chekov <3

Apollo really out here with an extra organ in his body oh boy.

THE LIGHTNING WHAT!

Scotty, sweetie, you're amazing, but-

OH OKAY THINGS ARE HAPPENING KIRK IS DYING WTF????

Shatner's acting is so fucking funny for some reason oh my gosh Kirk is choking on the ground I should NOT be laughing right now 💀

Also I know they just casually mentioned it as a Bit, but i think it's so cute that Spock is mentoring Chekov or something to that affect.

Uh oh I think Apollo is worn out a bit. LIKE THAT CAT IN THE RUSSIAN STORY- Pavel, never change.

Uhura is tinkering ✨✨✨ love her

"I can think of no one better equipped to handle it" SO TRUE, SPOCK!!!

wait does that girl have god powers now or-

"Mankind has no need for gods" oo? " we find the one quite valuable" OOOOH okay.

"GO!" They really went full on middle school lunch room on his ass fjskjfkdjdk

Lieutenant, stop getting emotionally attached to the Greek god Apollo 💀💀💀 Kirk is so done oh my gosh

Im hoping she's actually super smart and this whole attitude is an act. I may have to apologize to women again.

Become the mother of a new race of gods AYOOOO?????? UM???

okay he needs to stop , actually. Yup nope okay she's down BAD. Poor Scotty 😭

Kirk : "how old are you?"

Chekov : "22"

Kirk : "then I better handle it-"

Pavel 🥺 you're like a child to everyone here, how the fuck did you graduate the academy at 22-

In like ten minutes I've went from calling him Chekov to Pavel , the illness is real.

LIEUTENANT , SNAP 👏 OUT 👏 OF 👏 IT 👏 "HE'S SO LONELY" MY ASS!

Kirk, your rizz might not be able to get us outta this one

Kirk, Tell that to Spock's parents. Being from different species didn't stop them if you know what I mean-

She's trying to switch back to being On Duty , yes you're a scientist. I KNEW SHE WAS A SPECIALIST OF MYTHS. "Illogical. I could no more love you than I could love a piece of bacteria"

I owe women another apology, she's back ✨

RHE EDITING OH MY GOSH

The end 😃

W H a t

Okay that's not the most insane thing ever, actually. The ending felt a tiny bit rushed but that could've just been me.

Also Chekov is literally a child compared to everyone else on board- like of course 22 isn't a child but Kirk is, I wanna say, in his mid thirties at least (based on how long ago he says things took place in his life and how old he was then; like Taurus 4 and different things hes done as a lieutenant ), and no one else in the main cast is supposed to be 22.

That was a decent episode; not one of my favs but definitely not the worst. I probably won't do a rewatch for a while, but that's cus I have odd taste lol.

[story-of-the-infinite]

Unfiltered Thoughts on TUA S3 Luther, Sloane, and Ben

Luther: consistently meets my expectations and my expectations are low; i appreciate him as a character, i just don't personally like him; this man really gave zero (0) shits about the end of the world, Allison's grief, and whatever fucking else was happening in this season because he saw one (1) cute girl and decided she was his soulmate in a singular week (if that); i like that he was smart enough to tell when he was getting honey-trapped, and i'm glad he was smart enough to tell when Sloane was being sincere with him bc everyone's inability to see that the other family was messy, confused, and scared just like them was realistic but annoying, so props to him for being able to see that the Sparrows were human(? wellllll) too; um, should probably mention that SCENE with Allison… man gets to be as annoying as he wants after that almost happened holy shit. And the fact that he STILL wanted what's best for her.

Sloane: girl why DO you like Luther? like, not even as an insult to Luther, I just mean that you've known him for a single week and now you're married…. also why do you only like 50% care about your family, i get that they suck but most of them died horrifically

Ben: listen i miss our Ben too, idk how the time rules work here, does our Ben just actively not exist at all, even in the afterlife? but also tbh it does suck for him that he spent his whole life trying to be what Reggie taught them all to be and he's the bad guy for trying too hard to be exactly that, to be loved and #1 to his dad, and then to be compared to another version of himself who died as a child and was basically immortalized in this child/innocent version of himself (yes ghost Ben was very much an adult, but there were so many experiences and choices that he never got to have, who knows who he would have been if he hadn't been stuck to Klaus for the majority of his life); like dont get me wrong he's an annoying asshat but STILL; awaiting his development

[cl34rb3ll]

silly dangan ronpa AUs because i am normal as hell :)

ikuzono bodyguard/idol AU: okay this one is so cliche i DO NOT CARE. also i think itd be really sweet if bodyguard!ikusaba was in trouble for whatever reason and maizono was the one to protect her that time uwahhh

dangan ronpa pokemon AU: i’ve actually been working on this one for a really long time… i won’t talk about it here because it will take up too much space but i’ll link it when i eventually make a longer post about it. but basically enoshima & ikusaba are the evil org and the shsl despairs are ex members trying to get their lives back on track. basically every character is going to have their own self contained narrative…

celesgiri vampire/vampire hunter AU: um i don’t have any examples that come to mind for how vampires work in this AU except maybe…? the sims 4 vampires lol. so uh celeste is a master level vampire who has been getting bolder and bolder about breaking the treaty between the vampires & vampire hunters. kirigiri is from a long lineage of experienced vampire hunters and has been tasked with taking down celeste. enemies to lovers shit ensues.

celesgiri detective/criminal AU: also known as the phantom thief AU celeste is a well known art thief and kirigiri is the detective hunting her down but kirigiri is starting to realize she doesn’t actually want to catch celeste. its cliche as hell i know but uwahhhhhhhh im weak to this one guys.

sonami haunted tour guide/board game cafe employee ttrpg AU: SORRY THE REST OF THESE HAVE BEEN SO CLICHE THEN THERES THIS THING. so uh sonia is a tour guide at a local “haunted” attraction thing. i don’t know how to explain it succinctly its a cruise boat that crashed into a cave opening on the lake. anyways. she often goes to the board game cafe nanami works at after work and goes through a solo ttrpg campaign. nanami is hardcore crushing on sonia even though they’ve hardly spoken and hinata convinces her to ask her to join their current ttrpg campaign (i’m being intentionally vague with a specific game because uh i want flexibility :)) and uh shenanigans ensue.

hajime hinata centric pmmm magical girl AU: not a ton of specifics on this one rn but monokuma is kyubey and hinata wishes to be talented and horror and despair happens. but also happy ending peace and love.

maizono, kuwata, mioda and akamatsu band AU: okay you know the song “my band” and you know löded diper? thats all you need to know. don’t worry about the logistics it doesnt need to make sense it just needs to be funny. kuwata fucking sucks compared to everyone else but he insists on getting solos and stuff all the time. everyone thinks kuwata’s the shit because he’s the “lead singer” of the band. their music is really mid to be honest. maizono needs to hide her identity so this doesn’t impact her idol career so she plays bass instead of singing. which she doesn’t know how to do. mioda and kuwata are constantly arguing because kuwata wants the band to be more punk (but he doesn’t really know what punk is to be honest) and mioda wants it to be more heavy metal (which kuwata typically can not sing because. i can’t stress this enough. he does not know how to sing.) akamatsu is having an amazing time and could not possibly have less stake in what the band does. the band is probably just called “the band”

[dzpenumbra]

1/6/23

Good lord my brain is fried. I was just trying to figure out how big Europe is compared to the US, because I wanted to make some factually-informed comment about how it's kinda ridiculous how people on one side of this absolutely gargantuan continent are expected to act like people on the other side are like... part of the same country. Like... can you imagine if British people were expected to act like Belarus is part of the same country? That what is happening over there is 100% relevant to their everyday lives. But the second you hit Asia, nope, that's not relevant. I'm sorry, it's fucking odd.

Like... I have no goddamn clue what's going on in Canada right now. Very little knowledge of their politics, culture, fashion, fads, economy, even history honestly. It makes me feel pretty bad, in hindsight, now that I think about it. I am 40 miles away from the Canadian border. I am expected to treat that culture, that land, those people, as though they are not relevant to my everyday life. As though things that go on across that border line do not affect my everyday life. However, I am expected to treat policies that are being passed at a state level 1600 miles away (that's 2600 km for those of you who use real units of measurement) as though they are directly applicable to my everyday life and my local culture. People start freaking out about lunatics 2500 miles away (~3800 km) as though they are in our backyard. And I take a second and go... wait, what else is 2500 miles away? Um... fucking Colombia. Yep, I actually have other continents that are closer to my current location than that shit. And I think that cognitive dissonance is kinda fucking people up, to be honest. I feel it. So like... I guess I just wanted to say something about that. News stations make shit seem like it's happening in your backyard when it's happening half a world away. It's sick, really. It's sensationalism, not journalism - remember that word? So yeah, just like... it's okay for California to have a different culture than Florida. They are entirely different biomes. And in another parallel universe, would likely be different countries. So let's just try to ground ourselves a bit on that.

If you live in a different country, one that is smaller, has more cultural identity, more history, a closer knit society. One that has neighboring borders somewhat nearby where people speak other languages. It may be hard to relate to how... weird it is for us. How our cultural identity is such a massive melting pot that we are basically perpetually in a state of identity crisis.

Why am I writing about this? XD It's 2:30 AM. Okay, let me tell you. I briefly saw the murderer-of-the-week show up on my taskbar when I was trying to check the weather. Some really broken dude 2500 miles away and I need that showing up on my fucking taskbar by default. Putting that dude's face on everyone's computer like he's a celebrity or some shit, like he's someone important. It upset me a bit. I have enough shit to worry about, man. I don't need to know every creepy crawly thing lurking in the shadows on the other side of the continent. Sorry. I'm gonna have to look for a way to turn that shit off, because apparently we're in the age where people just decide that you by default do want ads and clickbait, and you need to opt out of it. Because that's totally how consumerism works, by force feeding people and saying "oh, you can opt out at any time, remember? you're doing this to yourself, really..." </rant>

I know, I didn't <rant> but you know what I mean. It's a joke, people.

So, I watched Tenet tonight. I just finished a little bit ago. I really enjoyed it, it was incredibly well crafted, very cutting-edge Nolan. Very impressive. I watched a few videos on YouTube on analysis and things people picked up on second watches, which confirmed a few of my suspicions and showed me new perspectives too. Really cool concepts. Wish I had people to discuss it with, but like... I never really have. So... c'est la vie for now.

I remember when I was in college, I went to see Inception with my girlfriend at the time. She was a girl I had a big crush on, her dad was a teacher in our art department. I don't even know why I was attracted to her, in hindsight, she was very different from me and really not my type... I think... I don't know if I have a "type"... but I was incredibly naïve. I always have been a bit... less socially matured? I guess? I think it's a neurodiversity thing, I don't know. But mostly around girls and stuff, very inexperienced, very aloof and just like... behind. She was a friend, we'd go out to get dinner after class and stuff, and after a while I built up the nerve to ask her out. And she said she needed some time to think about it, and took like 4 days. Kind of a red flag, yeah? But she said okay, and we dated for like... just under a year. It was, by leaps and bounds, the longest relationship I had ever had at that point, and I was like... 21? Maybe 22? I was dating her, it was summer, we went to see Inception in the theaters and we went back to her apartment above a computer repair shop after and I spent the night. And we didn't talk about it at all. I wanted to, but she didn't. And I remember it being awkward and distant and... kinda like... we're just going to sleep now. I'm guessing it freaked her out. Or unzipped some heavy shit. Which kinda shows me how that was really never a real relationship. It was shallow. It was kinda... I was a person to keep around for what she wanted, not a person to confide in, a confidant. Not someone to open up to. Not someone to have deep talks with and share your vulnerabilities with. Which makes me sad, because at that stage in my life that was all I wanted to be.

So yeah, haven't really had anyone there to do the deep talks with. And when I do find the person I can have those talks with, and that I find physically attractive, and that I can mutually open up with. I'll be a very happy man. Someday. But I've heard that involves leaving the house... which is a sliiiiiight problem... XD

But hey, check out this slick fuckin transition... I went out into town today! Very briefly, to be honest. I went to get my cat's prescription food, and stopped at a grocery store to get a bunch of Monster and cat litter. And, since I left around rush hour... I took an alternate route back, which was a nice change of pace. It wasn't much, but I did get out of the house. I met a doggy at the vet, they were very nice and very excited to meet me. It was lovely and a little hard at the same time. I miss dog time so much. I miss just rolling around on the floor and half-wrestling and all that. Physical bonding, play. Good lord, that's a pretty crazy realization. I mean, my cat is lovely and all, and the comfy beanbag chair thing is creating a venue where we can cuddle up together more often than just bedtime... but besides that, physical affection, physical touch in general... it's completely absent from my life. That's gotta fuck you up, man. So the dog gave me a nice recharge, and, in hindsight, I'm looking back at that situation like... I was very obviously a dog owner. XD I had this big bundle of energy black lab right next to me and the owner was like "how's he gonna react to this" and the tail was whipping back and forth and a big old smile on the dogs face and I'm just like "hey man, is it cool if I pet your dog". He was like "yeah, (they) love people." And I come from an area where like... people were super tight leash, don't let dogs meet new people and shit. Which was so fucking unfortunate. But I immediately was like multitasking paying for the food while petting this dog which was, from a third party perspective, like... pretty obvious that I was a dog owner. That whole "we're playing, but dad's also doing something right now, but we're still playing, I'll be right there!" It was like second nature to me. So yeah, a nice recharge.

Maybe I should walk dogs for people, I think I'd really like that. I'll think about it.

When I got back, I did chores even. I tried to keep momentum, once I get out the door and get stuff going, I can keep that ball rolling. So I did trash, compost and laundry too. Then I called my mom to order a TV. It's been on the list. I had to scrap my old TV, I told that story before. I decided to get this one on Instacart, so I just have to pick it up at the door. That way, I don't have to rearrange the whole room when I want to watch something in the comfy chair, I can just go watch on the TV rather than my computer. I saw a big price tag and started stressing out. My stress out made my mom stress out. 2 hours later, she got the message that I need reassurance, warmth, kindness, stuff like that in those moments. Just like "Yes, 300-400 bucks is a lot for you, but this is a move-in gift, a replacement of your old tv and a christmas gift. It's okay." But in the moment, it's like neither of us can find those words - either her to tell me that, or me to like... tell her how to talk me down? And it just... it can get pretty dark pretty quick. But I'll tell ya, nothing feels more like being stuck in quicksand than being really stressed and kinda panicking, and having to coach someone on how to help calm you down. It's like... why the fuck am I not just doing that for myself at that point? Like... I'm trying to be cool about it, but like... I need a bit more participation than that.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, at least it wasn't another goddamn fight. I'm super tired, like actually nodding off, so I'm gonna go to bed.