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#and we went across together
amerasdreams · 2 years
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I also have a phobia of bees. Sort of. If one is buzzing cloze to my face
This has a specific cause. I was stug several times as a kid but still wasn't scared of bees
Then when I was riding horse one time a bee stung me in the face. And my face swelled where it was stung
Idk if I'm allergic bc my face didn't swell totally
But it was scary. So I like automatically jump and try to get away if there are bees
But I try not to panic bc they probably won't hurt me if I don't attack them
I didnt attack or nearly step on that bee... but maybe my horse almost did or I was too close to the hive
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oatbugs · 2 months
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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gamerwoo · 8 months
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really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship
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lightasthesun · 2 months
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just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.
So thank you <33
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el-huddpudd · 1 month
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A piece of lined paper taped to the side of a cluttered counter says,
HI DAD
I LOVE YOU 🧡🧡🧡
KEEP THE
CITRUS PEELS
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witchofthemidlands · 5 months
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tales of the tardis is enough for me, it is, it really is, after all those years, jamie & zoe finally got their memories back & if that's the last we see of jamie mccrimmon that was fantastic, it was more than enough, there is & now will always be a conclusion
but
if i had to bring any classic who companion back to new (new?) who it would be jamie, it would always be jamie because the idea of jamie meeting a modern doctor sends me just a tad feral, just a a little bit balls to the wall feral.
#jamie mccrimmon#even though i would sell my soul to sarah jane imagine jamie in school reunion#can you imagine if jamie had been in the giggle#i dont know how they would have transported him through time but#yet i think about him being there and meeting fourteen and donna#fourteen sees him and just stops working#donna sees him looking at jamie and she hasnt seen the doctor look at anyone like that aside from rose#she said it was like a furnace looking back at the time she was the doctordonna but when she was the doctordonna i have always thought#she must have seen the doctors memories of jamie i headcanon she saw those memories quite clearly#i wonder if the doctor ever thought about what the time lords did to jamie when he had to wipe donnas mind#imagine donna and jamie interacting#donna wants to dropkick the time lords#donna and jamie being there when the bi regeneration happens jamie is with him this time they wont be torn apart again#apparently all doctors have been hatched across the galaxy the bi regen was the miracle of rebirth#so jamie does leave fourteen and donna#but we see him running towards a different tardis that just landed#because as soon as two was respawned i just know he went back for jamie#jamie gets to spend the rest of his life with his doctor#i love mel i love her i love her i love her but she just pops to earth here and there because glitz isnt gone 😩#they are still causing havoc in space together#i know his actor passed away but it still hit me hard knowing the character is now gone too 🥺#he may have been an antagonist at various points but that dude was snazzy#classic who#doctor who#whoniverse#this is what happens when i dont sleep for 24 hrs
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oh-katsuki · 8 months
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im going to get ramen and boba w my sister today and i am excited abt it
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vorerilla · 2 months
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i think about my ex every day and it haunts me bc i never resolved it/told them all of my feelings of how i loved them but that theyre also an asshole who didnt treat me right and made me feel so insecure and stupid and i wish i could just PUT THE THOUGHTS AWAY FOR NOW
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hyunubear · 4 months
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Just rescued a cat that was trapped on the roof for 3 days 😪
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elenadoeslife · 1 year
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your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
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baldurs-gate-official · 5 months
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Gortash styles his hair the same way this one weaboo guy I went to highschool with did after he started watching Naruto
#bg3#gortash#text post#very random but#i lucked out on highschools#mine didnt have a bullying issue. popular kids were 'popular' because of how kind they were#so because of this#sometimes people would cosplay to school#we had this one naruto cosplayer who would show up in the full costume contacts wig jumpsuit all of it#and they often roped their friend into cosplaying sasuke (they usually just did the wig and contacts tho)#it wasnt unusual to hear them yelling “NARUTO! SASUKE!” at each other from across the hall#the guy in the post was not either of them#he was a different guy just trying to look like sasuke#and then we had this one guy who would cosplay as different johnny depp characters#or DC villains#all closet cosplays and honestly it was pretty impressive how he just threw things together and went all out like that#my favourite is one time i saw him in the hall aggressively taping pencils to his fingers. so i asked what he was doing and he said#he was cosplaying as edward scissor hands and got in trouble so now he was edward pencil hands#king shit#he was so mad about it lmao#anyways highschool was interesting and i sat beside naruto in 3 classes#OH OH ALSO SOME PEOPLE DRESSED UP IN FULL LOLITA CLOTHES#by some i mean....3? not a regular occurrence but not uncommon#one of them was my first boyfriend. hes very into pretty dresses#oh and we had this one guy from the drama department (should have mentioned it was an art school) that wore feather boas pretty regularly#and the dude that cosplayed a lot of JDepp and DC. he got a girlfriend and theyd match#it would have been wholesome if it werent a toxic ass relationship#theyd unironically dress up as harley and joker and say they were just like them#anyway im going to shut up now#q
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odetolovers · 1 year
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i’m losing it
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marciabrady · 2 years
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it's wild to me that modern critics have brainwashed so many people into thinking true love, as presented in the classic princess movies, is toxic. we go from snow white's prince calling their love "constant and true" and never giving up on his search for the lost princess throughout endless seasons and forests aimlessly until he finds her, charming tearing apart the entire kingdom when all he had was one slipper that had been left behind because he couldn't imagine a life without cinderella, and phillip fighting a literal fire breathing dragon for aurora.
to appear more "realistic", and effectively more sensible i guess??? disney made the couples afterward decidedly spikey. beast and belle are nothing if not enemies to lovers with their courtship starting with belle literally giving her life to the beast so her father would be spared, jasmine and aladdin have a lot of friction over his lies, i don't even want to get started on john smith and pocahontas nor meg working for the literal devil against hercules's best interest...but that wasn't enough and they continued to suck anything appealing out of these love stories until we reach naveen and tiana trying to kill each other in a swamp as frogs and not liking each other and even being visibly repulsed at one another, rapunzel inflicting physical violence upon flynn with her frying pan in a "cute!" and "quirky" way, and hans being used as a plot device to make us believe a prince charming for us doesn't exist which ends in anna punching him.
and...it's that astounding these bad faith criticisms have been given so much weight and power that they're literally now effectively tearing apart true love in these films to the point where it's now just bickering and physical violence with straight couples that have no chemistry but gay people still don't have a single explicitly "out" couple/storyline :)
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navramanan · 9 months
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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sanstropfremir · 2 years
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in an alternate universe where they didn't split, what subunits do you think sm would've given tvxq? i wonder if homin / jyj units would've still happened or if they'd do something like suju kry with the main vocals. or maybe they just go "damn here" and give yunjae a duet
sm doesn't seem to like giving actual 'subunits' to their <five member groups, so i don't think jyj would have happened, but we'd probably still have gotten solo careers (eventually) from the four that have them, and probably i think a couple of duets, but they wouldn't have extensive promo periods/albums attached to them. probably yunjae and maybe changmin jaejoong? they might have also done a yunho junsu dance type one as well. but to be honest i do actually think the split was for the best, bc had they all had continued under sm we would not have gotten all that excellent angry music out of 2011-2014, AND we probably would not have gotten any of junsu's iconic songs either.
#junsu SHOULD have been sm's first dance soloist if no split#but i think they would have neutered his solo career if it had happened#personally i do not believe sm would have gone through with tarantellegra in 2012#yea yea taemin sherlock hair was in 2012 BUT he was in a group at the time and when they took him solo they went polar opposite#and they were likely not willing to take the risk on junsu's gender nonconforming nonsense (affectionate)#BUT in western pop born this way had dropped a year before and i would bet that a label would be more open to it#(just to be clear i'm not ascribing anything to junsu but his image from 2011-2015 was very specific#and seeing tarantellegra in 2012 hit like a fucking BOMB. at least to me it did)#(like i think i had just come out like less than a year before?? yea i think the mv dropped in my last semester of gr 11)#yes i've been out for a decade and lemme tell you shit was so different in 2012#n e ways. sm is just bad at managing subunits + soloists across the board so it was a better outcome all around imo#tvxq w#a friend and i were LITERALLY just joking that we have to get yunjae back together again#so they can have another torrid breakup and mitigate whatever midlife crisis jaejoong is having rn sdlkfjsdlkjflsdkjsd#like cmon buddy we didn't ask for whatever nobody like you was we want just another girl 2!!!!!!!!#(i actually think the song is fine but the video is like a horrible fever dream that i never thought i'd have)#y'all ever thought we'd see a butterfly hair clip on kim jaejoong in the big year of 2022? yea me fuckin neither!!!#dig your fucking eyeliner out of the closet jaejoong we don't need this wannabe 4th gen nonsense#text#answers
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officialbabayaga · 1 year
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will NEVER forget this conversation at a house party i had with an old coworker where we’d gotten on to the topic of having children, and i said i wasn’t planning on having kids because of some genetically inheritable issues that were in my family and she dismissed that with a wave of her hand saying “oh i get that if it was something like bipolar disorder, but other than that i don’t think i’d care.”
and i, who would go on to become the fifth person in my family officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder,
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