#and weed

[moreeeeweedddd]

vibes are immaculate 😶‍🌫️

[eslanes]

Currently holed up at my mother's house dog sitting and writing a business plan (frantically btw)

I promised myself I wouldn't open my game til it's done and that's the best kind of motivator lol

Also here's a pic of one of my mom's dogs 😂

[a-mayan-joy-has-nuts]

Local clown spotted on holy ground as he tries at an ill fated attempt to live out his youth fully aware that something can snap at any moment turn bend tear pull jump pebble sneeze fall downies . When asked to comment “bAll iS LiFeH” was all the dim witted dolt could muster to say as he was confronted with all the facts. 🎤🤡🏀🤤🌳🔥💨

[beck-nightengale]

Character Ask for Jade the Prophetess

So I'd been ticking away at that old Enderal Character Ask for some weeks and finally had time to finish it, and lordy was that a lot of questions with a lot of answers...

Have some lineart/expressions that my friend (please commission her, she's amazing) did for my girl if you're just passing by:

But yeah. This thing ended up being a lot of words - more words than what is probably necessary (I'm justifying it because she's a novel character that much of her backstory will be re-adapted to, anyway). Even with all of this, there are still a lot of side details left out, but... I figure my Ask Box is open if anyone is curious about any bits in particular.

Grab some tea if you're down for that.

Warning for spoilers (obviously), child/domestic abuse, cannibalism, eye scream, mental illness, addiction, and the usual Enderal fuckery that's on full steam ahead. (I guess this should be a given, but hey you never know.)

1. The basics – name, age, etc…

Her original name was Jehoel Gris. She started using “Jade” shortly after her family was killed because of, you know, Reasons. Distancing herself from her old life, for one. Second, it had come at the suggestion of an old Aeterna woman, who helped her to recover from the injuries she got after the Masked Men tried to burn her alive with her parents. This also prompted her to try to pass as human once she was on her own. Reinventing yourself can be pretty simple when you are already a nobody.

Age-wise, she is 32. Her birthdate is 14th of the Winter Star, 8202. So not very old, but old enough to have Gone Through Some Shit.

2. Describe their appearance.

Thanks to the Aeterna blood from her mother’s side, Jade is pretty dang tall, standing at 6’4” (195cm). Because of this, she slouches when she sits and generally carries herself in poor posture to make herself appear smaller than she actually is. Even then, her attempts are not always successful around those who can recognize the more subtle hints of her Aeterna features or catch a peek of her ears in her hair, but those traits are pretty subdued for the most part. She tries to pass as half-Qyranian/half-Nehrimese, which she might actually be a quarter of both. We just don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also she has freckles on her face, which aren’t always visible on her darker skin (it’s no mystery why her father didn’t believe that she was his child, really). Got some dark as fuck rings under her eyes from chronic insomnia. Her left eye is blind and pearl white in color, with some visible central heterochromia in her right, in which the outer iris is a storm-grey turning light brown/hazel towards the pupil.

3. How do they like to dress?

Generally prefers comfort over style, though she isn’t averse to dresses when wanting to look her Sundas’ best, which is rare. Purple is her favorite color, but she has very few opportunities to actually wear it. Her wardrobe varies a bit depending on the occasion. If she’s ever feeling particularly pretty, she’ll wear some flowers in her hair.

For the most part, she avoids outfits revealing too much skin, especially her hands, arms, and back, and she always wears gloves during her day-to-day activities. Not because she is modest, though...

4. Do they have any markings (scars, tattoos, birthmarks)?

The reason she covers her body with long sleeves and gloves would be the fact that it’s covered in scars. She’s not particularly self-conscious about her body, as she’s been intimate plenty of times without much trouble before. But she does feel that they make most people see her in a certain way (particularly pity or concern) that she would rather deflect more often than not. It’s also kind of hard to spin entertaining yarns about your childhood abuse or the time you barely managed to escape being burned alive by a cult, so she’s more likely to make up lies about where they come from than tell the truth.

Other scars just happen to be products of past scuffles and misadventures during her time as a street urchin and slave. Most notable are the severe burns left on her back, left shoulder, and behind her right leg.

Her face is not so easily covered up, and neither is Jade inclined to. After all, it’s an otherwise pretty face. She doesn’t care for helmets or masks to hinder her vision in the one good eye she has. The scar and blindness came from a particularly brutal incident, back when her father was first trying to teach her to hunt so she could be of more help on the farm. When she failed to hit a rabbit at a distance, he lashed out several times with the lower limb of a hunting bow. After a point, the left side of her face was swollen, and the eye came near to popping out entirely. Though it was salvaged with a combination of her mother’s healing salves and magic (which reduced what would have been severe disfigurements for the rest of her life), the eye remained permanently discolored. This event also may have left Jade comatose with some brain damage, had it not been for her mother’s healing, but it was also a turning point for how much abuse she could take, mentally and emotionally (and elaborated more on in later questions).

The remaining facial scars she has left are from the stitches where the skin had been split open from her father’s other… episodes. Her mother did what she could to heal Jade’s most grievous injuries, which led to her falling so sick with Arcane Fever so frequently that, on many days, she couldn’t even get out of bed. Jade didn’t fully understand the extent of Arcane Fever at the time, however, and just equated the memory with Light magic = bad.

5. What are they like? Describe their personality (use whatever tools you like- MBTI, D&D alignment, astrological signs, Hogwarts house, words/phrases):

Pre-Enderal, she’d probably be chaotic neutral; she did a lot of bad shit, but mostly out of survival. Post-Enderal and lots of character development later, she’s become more chaotic good, where she’s trying to be a better person than she was (or at least present herself as such) while still giving zero fucks about the law.

Moreover, Jade is the epitome of the type who masks their depression and deep loathing towards herself in humor and sarcasm, which seeps through self-deprecating jokes. And you can damn well bet that she hated when the Father called her out on this when she was working with Tharaêl, too. She wears all kinds of proverbial masks in hopes that no one can see the madwoman she fears she truly is.

See, ever since she was a child, she always had a peculiar connection with death, especially after the incident where she lost sight in her left eye… or so one can presume. Whether she truly heard the whispers of the dead or if it was the product of a shattered psyche, it’s hard to say. She kept the frequent visits of voices and phantasms to herself after her mother expressed fear that the girl’s mind just broke as a result of her father’s torment, or that she had suffered irreparable damage from her head injury. Most of the time, the voices she heard would go away on their own if she ignored them long enough, anyway. Since then, she always believed that people would think her mad if they got too close to her, started noticing the little ticks that always make her seem “off” – an ill-timed laugh, a hollow smile, talking when there’s seemingly no one else around. It was very wild how easily folks believed her when she started having her premonitions and experience with the dead after arriving on Enderal.

As an urchin child, she learned how to survive on the streets via thievery and fraud, until she was eventually caught and sold into slavery. The noblewoman who purchased her had taken an interest in her potential in burglary and violence, as she had a knack for both. Jade had no qualms when it came to killing in self-defense, which hardened her when it came to death in general (even though she may or may not have been haunted by those she killed for a time). This skill, coupled with her unassuming appearance and youth, made her an oddly effective hatchet person. If she wasn’t subjected to hard labor (which consumed the majority of her years as a slave), every now and then she was tasked to neutralize “threats” her master suspected of “plotting against her” – she was very paranoid, and a bit of a madwoman in her own right. As she grew into her adolescence, Jade just started seeing the killing as tiresome as any other chore she did, one in which she took neither joy nor despair, provided that she could shut the ghosts out.

6. How would they describe themselves?

“Hi, I’m garbage.”

7. Education level?

Smarter than one would think from a former farm girl, slave, street urchin, and possible madwoman – a fact which she uses to her own advantage, sometimes using reverse psychology-esque tactics by pretending to be dumber than she actually is. Not many would suspect a smooth talker out of her with the way she curses, but she’s maxed out in Rhetoric for a reason. Between her rather crass manner of speech, she can be remarkably well-spoken and thoughtful when it comes to matters she’s passionate about.

During her years as a slave, she was surprisingly given a basic education in reading and writing, which opened up a lot of avenues for Jade as she got older and would sneak some books to read during her rare downtimes. This is also just an excuse for how she’s able to speed read through all those skill books. Like, goddamn.

8. What are they proud of in themselves? What are they embarrassed about?

Jade would be hard-pressed to claim she takes any pride in the things she does, but she has developed the “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude to an art. Think you might be losing your mind? Pretend you’re sane until it goes away or no one notices. :)

Also she has shamefully high confidence in her seduction skills – she knows she’s got a pretty face (blemishes and all) and she uses those assets in her favor. It was especially useful when she was in the market of scamming and thieving, as it was possible to get away with all the gay crimes by flashing that charm and wit.

Of course, her seduction doesn’t always land. Her response to rejection is less than graceful.

9. Do they know any languages other than Inâl?

Some phrases from the Aeterna, Qyranians, and Kiléans she’s met, but not really fluent in anything. Linguistics isn’t her strong suit.

10. What, if any, aspects of their mother’s culture influenced them growing up?

Not much, since Jade was pretty ignorant of Aeterna culture and beliefs. Her mother always seemed to try to put that part of her past behind her when she had arrived on Nehrim as a refugee. Esme was shocked by how little Jade knew about her own kind.

11. Name a song (or a few) that remind you of them.

Oof, it’s hard to name a few, but I’ve got a whole playlist of songs for my Prophetess. Girl With One Eye by Florence & the Machine has always been my anthem for Jade as a character (she’s based off of a protagonist from one of my old novels/D&D character I played ages ago – more on that here if you’re curious), but it is hard to choose between that and Hated by Life Itself, Again, Arsonist’s Lullabye, and Little Talks as her one song.

Her OG!book iteration also had her own official songs (and In My Mind is still pretty fitting for her when you get down to those lyrics, goddamn), so… there’s that, too (and yes, I find the title of her theme to be hilariously and unintentionally appropriate, considering the “canon” ending I go for her Enderal version).

12. Speaking of songs, can they sing? What is their voice like? How about instruments?

Well, she’s no minstrel, but she doesn’t mind humming a tune or singing a tavern song she learned while on the road. She doesn’t have an ear for drums or flutes, but she enjoys strumming on a lute if she gets her hands on one (which may or may not be a residual character trait from her modern iteration, who was a violinist).

She likes to dance as well, despite the fact that she constantly derides herself for it by claiming she has “two left feet” and is overall a terrible dancer. She kind of is, but she likes it anyway.

...I also just really like dancing mods. They give me life.

13. What was their life like before coming to Enderal?

As indicated in previous answers, she was in a very bad way. A fugitive, runaway slave who had attempted to kill her master after reaching a breaking point, and ended up with a bounty on her head that prevented her from living in one place for too long. She did at some point have a few relationships (the longest one lasting three years), but her issues with trust, commitment, and fear of her own sanity rarely ever kept her around the same people. Her first experience with love didn’t end very well, and she’s had not much more than a series of shallow flings ever since.

I do have a timeline of “life events” that I mapped out that I’m still picking at off and on (and will also be adapted to a new novel series), but an abridged version of her life before Enderal can be described as: A walking natural fucking disaster. She had a bad habit of losing herself in drogae and casual sex as a way of coping with the night terrors in her sleep and her questionable mental state when she was awake. Had it not been for Sirius, she would have sniffed dust into an early grave.

14. How did they decide to leave Nehrim?

She didn’t. Her plan was pretty much to die alone in a gutter somewhere in her war-torn homeland. The only reason she left was because Sirius wanted her to come with him to start a new life.

15. Describe their relationship with Sirius.

Tense at first. They met as slaves, and then ran into each other again as runaways, where they were nearly recaptured by slavers. Their captors wanted to cash in on Jade’s bounty, and as such she was more heavily guarded than Sirius – a situation which the two readily took advantage of.

After that, they ended up sticking together. Sirius thought that she needed a friend, even after all of her efforts to try and keep him at arm’s length, and Jade figured it couldn’t hurt to have someone watch her back sometimes. For whatever reason she couldn’t understand, he never gave up on her; he often tried to make her see herself as someone capable of a lot of good, rather than a total lost cause. It just made his death hit that much harder, as she felt personally responsible (elaborated on more in #36).

Initially, she only told him a little about her past out of necessity, due to him frequently waking her up screaming in her sleep. But as they grew closer and developed a genuine friendship, she began to open up to him more in earnest. They were a dynamic hobo duo for eight years, which is the longest Jade ever stuck by someone, so they went through a lot together during their time on the streets.

16. Who do they blame for what happened to their family?

Herself. It was she who sought help when her father’s abuse had escalated to him finally attempting to drown her in the pond outside their home. She only survived because her mother had finally intervened, only to collapse from her Fever. Jade ran off on her own to get help and found some members from the Creator’s Temple, which only led to them condemning the entire family instead. Her sister died when the Masked Men set fire to their house, while Jade was strung up alongside her mother and father. She escaped with her life, but sustained severe burns in the process that left permanent scars.

The reason as to why the Masked Men executed the family is unclear in the game. For Jade’s story, it was because her father’s downward spiral into insanity led to cannibalism during a particularly poor harvest season, in which food was scarce. He murdered a local half-Qyranian man who he always suspected of being the biological father of his daughters, then forced the family to unknowingly consume him. The Creator’s Temple caught wind when more travelers were disappearing near the farm, confirmed it when they investigated the house, and saw the entire family as “tainted”. Thus, no one was to be spared.

At the end of the day, Jade believes that if she never sought help and somehow had just done things on her own, then her mother and sister would still be alive. Since then, she’s struggled to ask for help and would try to do things on her own that she really shouldn’t.

17. Apart from stowing away, have they ever broken the law?

Oh, she was a literal criminal long before being a stowaway. Even if you don’t count the fact that she’s a runaway slave, she’s wanted for the attempted murder of her master, who was starting to get cozy with some members of the Creator’s Temple. That triggered Jade’s aforementioned breaking point. For about eleven years, she’s been a wanted woman, evading bounty hunters and the law alike.

Asides from that, she’s committed several kinds of theft and fraud in order to get by, as her situation in Nehrim made it very difficult to make an honest living. She didn’t mind stealing food from racists who wouldn’t sell to an Aeterna wench, too.

18. How honest are they? Under what circumstances would they lie?

Funny thing about that. Jade is a natural-born liar, and can easily spin yarns to sidestep the truth. This is likely to come up if ever questioned about her scars, where she’d be quicker to claim she got them by wrestling a bear (which is absolutely not true) than she is to share her life story of child abuse and otherwise unsavory life events.

That isn’t to say she’s incapable of telling the truth. Far from it – Jade speaks her mind on many occasions. Certain times she’d make use of that silver tongue of hers would be if the life of someone she cared about was on the line, or if she kept her mouth shut because she genuinely gave a damn about hurting someone’s feelings. Though she has a long history of self-sabotage, she’s got some people that she’d really like to keep in her life right now.

19. Worst memory(s)? Best memory(s)?

Her worst memory was the night her father tried to kill her. We’ve already covered that in 16, so moving on.

Her best memory was when she first took her sister out into the forest to explore some of the prettier sights of Ostian together, escaping the mess that was their home life. I imagine they had a very close bond and Jade was very protective of her, and wanted them both to have moments where they could just be kids together. They made promises to leave the farm and explore the world together. Obviously did not happen.

20. Fight, or flight?

Flight. More often than not, her first choice is to run from her problems than to confront them.

21. Describe their combat style.

Pre-Enderal, dual-wielding daggers or old-fashioned fisticuffs were always her weapon of choice. And she was not against fighting dirty, such as throwing sand in the eyes of her targets, hitting them in their weak points, or kicking someone while they’re down. She was never a heavy-hitter, and preferred discretion to get the upper hand. If all else failed, she’d just book it and run.

Since her magic awakened, she’s taken to Elementalism as her main weapon, namely shock and frost-based spells (her pyrophobia prevents her from dabbling in anything fire-based). She uses daggers – now enchanted – as backup when her mana is low.

Eventually, she delved pretty deep into Phasmalism. Now she prefers to enlist the help of her ghost pals to deal with the close-quarter battles while she keeps a distance with magic.

22. Have they ever killed before? What is their reaction to combat?

Absolutely. The High Ones didn’t call her a murderer because they were being metaphorical. Her first kill was in self-defense when she was a young urchin child, and killing just got easier and easier the more it was asked and expected of her. For the entire decade she had spent as a slave, she had very little qualms about the occasional murder. Her only boundary was that she never, ever hurt children, and she held those who ever did in contempt. It would be impossible for her not to think of her little sister and live with the consequences.

Of course, all the death opened a whole barrel full of trauma for her. Back then, she was frequently “haunted” by those she killed, and it would take some time for her to elude her own phantasms, or at least make living with them more bearable so that she didn’t have to see or hear them screaming all the time. But since arriving on Enderal, the chaos that were once her thoughts have become eerily quieter. Well, save for the visions she now has. Those are new.

23. How do they react to having magical abilities? Do they use them?

After her magical talent blossomed, Jade went hard for Elementalism (save for fire magic), but she dabbled in spells from some of the other classes as well.

The only school she actively refused to entertain is Light Magic. Too much negative association around it after watching her mother’s health deteriorate to Arcane Fever, due to how much healing was necessary in her childhood. Watching the health of someone she loved rapidly decline like that just had a way of wrecking her with guilt.

Since taking to Phasmalism like a fish to water, Jade tends to employ the help of the dead to make up for her particularly lackluster skills in combat. Yera Shadowsong was her first ghost, who she was quite delighted to meet and keep her company on her travels. Others she enlisted were Kilana Hammerblow, Denna Frostheart, as well as the Starling Navigator and Aeterna Ambassador. Having actually known and witnessed the tragic death of Zar’ah firsthand, Jade ended up relying on her the most in future battles, as well as accompanying alongside her on the road when she had no one else to talk to.

Even if the echoes don’t seem fully cognizant of their existence, it nevertheless became Jade’s mission to try and extend them some degree of freedom and compassion. Whether they understand her or not, she finds herself interacting with them as though they were fully realized, living people, in an effort to try and draw out some sliver of their former selves. It’s a work in progress. Somehow it also makes her feel a little more sane just having sounding boards she can vent to when no one else is around.

24. What do they think of Enderal?

Hated it with the passion of a thousand dying suns. As someone who abhors religion, she had to bite back her heretical opinions whenever anyone spoke of the Paths or the Lightborn. After passing the umpteenth corpse hanging from a tree, and imagining that it would only be a matter of time before one of those corpses would become her own, she started trying to find a way to leave the country altogether.

After a point, she did develop a fondness for the land and some of its people, especially after the Nehrimese invasion led to raids and murdering civilians, which reminded her all too well as to why she left her homeland. She may have conflicting feelings about the country, but the common people sure as hell didn’t deserve that.

25. Did they do the Biggest Egg Hunt Ever quest?

Yup. She didn’t care much for the Starling prophecies, but Kurmai asked nicely. It also helped that he paid her and she needed money.

26. How do they feel about joining the Order? What do they think of Arantheal?

Oh, she hates the Order and everything they stand for. Her first instinct upon meeting Arantheal and learning about the Cycle was to get as far away as possible. This brought her to seek employment with the Golden Sickle so she could afford a ship out of the country and, later on, attempting to convince Dijaam to let Jade join her back to Kilé. It was only when those plans fell through, and her witnessing what the Red Madness had done to Mendelus and other civilians firsthand, did Jade return and ruefully accept Arantheal’s offer.

On that note, it did make certain parts of his speech during her and Calia’s inductions as Keepers extremely awkward by making it sound like she sought the Order out of a sense of purpose and duty – she really didn’t. Hell, she even initially told Firespark that she had no interest whatsoever in what the Order was doing. Overall, she finds Arantheal to be insufferable and too self-important for her liking. She never fully trusted him or agreed with his leadership. To her, he didn’t extend aid to the common folk as nearly as much as he should have, including his refusal to make the death of the Lightborn public knowledge to his people.

27. What is their opinion of the gods (or lack thereof)?

Though not one to preach her beliefs (mostly out of what bit of self-preservation she has, as many would deem her views as blasphemy), Jade has a very strong personal hatred for religion and would be, by all accounts, an atheist. As much of an atheist as one can be in a world where living gods have walked among mortals, that is. If you ask her, there is no afterlife, and there sure as hell ain’t no “Eternal Paths” waiting for her when she dies. When you die, you die. The gods have done nothing for her or her family, and her father even used the name of the “Creator” to justify abuse. And so she felt less than nothing when rumors of the gods’ deaths began to circulate, and she felt satisfaction and vindication upon those rumors being confirmed.

Of course, she knows better than to casually share her ideology in a theocratic country like Enderal, but appreciates engaging with other like-minded individuals, such as those who participated in killing the gods like the Nehrimese mages. While she can get along with religious people well enough, she prefers that they just keep their piety to themselves or at least not try to convert her. It won’t work.

Interestingly, she was surprised by how tolerant and understanding Calia was when it came to her views on religion, as she didn’t once try to argue or invalidate Jade’s experiences. This made her appreciate the other woman that much more and start to develop a closer relationship early on.

28. Wine, or pipe?

Pipe. Always pipe. Since discovering Peaceweed, she’s found that the stuff happens to help her sleep and calm her thoughts, so she smokes pretty much regularly now.

29. Do they spare or arrest Hallys, the farmer-turned-bandit in the quest, Deus Ex Machina? Why?

Against her better judgment, she actually agreed with Calia to have Hallys arrested, namely because she learned that he was initially lying about where he got the money from and that he actually stole it from the Undercity’s food bank, which pissed her right the hell off. While she felt for his situation, it didn’t justify screwing over the poor, who were much worse off than he and his family.

Though finding out that he had been executed at the gallows so soon after made her regret that decision. To her, that wasn’t justice, and it sure as hell didn’t endear her to trust Ark’s Tribunal to handle similar situations afterward.

30. What are their feelings and opinions about the Undercity?

It feels a little too close to home for her, as she often lived in similar piss-poor conditions when she was homeless. Like it shouldn’t exist, but it does, and she understands why and how all too well. From time to time, she’ll hand out coin and food to the children running errands or just looking like they need some help.

31. How do they react to the beggars of Ark?

When she has the coin to spare, she’ll sometimes offer some pennies. And she’ll always pay a kid delivering a message whether they ask for it or not. It wasn’t too long ago that she was in the same boat, and appreciated what little a passing Samaritan could provide. She got that Gift of Charity perk.

32. Where and how do they spend their time when in Ark?

Early on she started visiting the Undercity because she likes mischievous things it felt more familiar to her. Plus she found a small little hiding place tucked away for when she feels the need to abscond from “civilized” society. While down there, she frequented the Dust Pit to watch the fights, not really phased by the brute violence.

On the surface, she spends much of her time in taverns when she has coin to spare or feels like hanging out with Jespar. She also spends time with Calia in the bathing house or hanging out in the courtyard of the Sun Temple in between missions, since Jade became was quickly taken by Calia and wanted to help her open up more, all whilst getting to know the other woman better.

33. What would they do with three wishes?

I did the wishing well quest after finishing Angel and All the Dead Souls, so I imagine the first wish was for Calia not to leave her, the second was for Jespar not to hate her for the shitty things she said back at him. The third was for a sweet new dagger. Guess all three technically came true.

34. How do they feel about death? Do they fear it?

Death is a natural cycle of life. For the last handful of years, she was fully ready to die, anyway, and believed that there was no great afterlife or paradise that would follow. In more recent times, she’s become quite fond of being alive, though she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice her life to save the ones she cares about.

35. What (else) do they fear?

As mentioned earlier, she has a profound fear of fire, and actively avoids using flame-based magic despite being very proficient in Elementalism. At most, she’ll use fire-enchanted daggers.

Additionally, she has developed thalassophobia to a degree since being shipwrecked, feeling anxious around large bodies of deep water, and a dislike for swimming. I kinda headcanon that she never even met Nessah/Sister Pride when working with the Rhalâta, let alone took her heart, because it required her to dive underwater for a long period of time, so she had no qualms with bringing a different heart to the First Seer instead (not that Jade would’ve killed her. She found Nessah’s notes, and she wasn’t about to execute a woman clearly suffering from mental illness for a group she didn’t care about). You can also bet that she noped right out of the Brotherhood of the Kor questline as soon as it required a “breathe underwater” spell to delve into a submerged temple. So yeah, she just told Mirella, “Sorry, lady, your son is dead” because it was the most likely truth, anyway. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Above all else, however, her greatest fear is insanity – a fear that the High Ones exploit the hell out of by constantly making her question her perception of reality and whether or not this all is just a fever dream of her dying consciousness. It helps very little that she already had a predisposition for madness, never knowing if her “connection with the dead” was real or a byproduct of her trauma. Remembering how her father descended into madness and cannibalism has a way of making her doubt her own sanity.

36. Do they have any secrets?

Quite a few doozies, actually. Prior to coming to Enderal, Jade had an addiction to dangerous drogae. And it was because of this addiction that she ended up in the situation she is in now, a fact that she is all too ashamed to admit to anyone. Even worse, she blames herself for what happened to Sirius because of this fatal flaw. Not only did she have proclivities for blowing whatever scraps of coin she earned to feed her addiction and other bad habits, which could have gone to paying for a ship out of Nehrim, the only reason Sirius chose to stow away with her, rather than sign on to the crew like a right proper lad, was to keep an eye on Jade while she went through the motions of withdrawals. He also stowed away with her to make sure that she didn’t get caught screaming in pain or waking from night terrors.

Similarly, signing onto Rocio’s crew wasn’t an option for Jade in the first place, due to being a runaway slave with a bounty on her head for the attempted murder of her former master. Despite trying to push him into leaving without her, Sirius refused. And now he’s dead. It’s impossible not to feel responsible for that, and for robbing her friend of the second chance at life that he so badly wanted.

Since becoming an Emissary, she’s found that her addiction has been miraculously “cured”, though she still gets uncomfortable around heavy drogae such as Glimmerdust. This resulted in her snapping back at Jespar in the Silver Cloud when she caught him using the stuff. Despite knowing what he was going through, Jespar wasn’t the only one who said very regrettable things that evening.

In addition to substance abuse, she also keeps her history of mental illness to herself, ashamed of what others would think if they knew she might be mad. Much of her prior ticks and instabilities ended up troubling her less and less once she became her “idealized self” on the shores of Enderal, anyway – the voices are dulled, and her mind feels a little more at peace these days.

While part of her felt that she should be grateful not to have to wrestle with her addiction or madness every day, the implications of a sudden recovery after losing her only friend scares her more than anything. For now, she has never shared this secret with anyone, not even her new companions.

37. How is their behavior around people they like? People they dislike?

Jade is very blunt and open about her feelings and has been noted to say whatever’s on her mind by more than one person. This can be for good or for ill depending on who she’s with – if she likes someone, she has no qualms blurting out the things she likes or finds attractive and appealing about them, or telling them what she feels they need to hear. If she doesn’t like them, then she’ll still speak her mind regardless of whether or not it hurts their feelings. She may even come off as abrasive or just downright rude. If her dislike runs deep enough, she won’t want to be in that person’s presence at all.

38. What is their relationship with the companions? Who, if anyone, did your prophet romance?

There were a few she became close to – some more than others.

Jespar: They got along pretty quick, since they shared very similar views on life, the Lightborn, and relationships. Jade has had Romance Gone Wrong in the past and didn’t quite want to see Jespar that way at first, either. It may or may not have helped that she made quite a few passing comments and propositions with him that amused him a bit. I headcanon that they had some FWB-type flings and then just never talked about it again, because Jade has her own hangups on relationships and monogamy. There were some feelings there on both sides, but were never realized until it was too late. (Side note: She decided to give him her own affectionate nicknames, such as “My Lord” because he kept calling her “Fair Lady”, and “Snowberry” because of his hair and he’s a goddamn fruity boy.)

Calia: Conversely, Jade just couldn’t resist and caught the feelings here. She tried to push them down until they died, but she grew more and more fond of her friend as time went by. It helped brighten some of Jade’s more cynical views of the world knowing that people like Calia existed, and wanted to change it for the better. In a sense, the two complimented each other in helping the other learn to enjoy life the way neither of the women allowed themselves to. In the end, she romances Calia, but I like to think they had more in-depth discussions on relationships and where Jade stands with them before they made things official. Due to her own struggles with her sanity and being constantly at war with what darkness lives in her own mind, she related with Calia on a very personal level, which became the foundation for their relationship to grow during and after the game’s main storyline.

Dijaam: Immediate crush, oh no. Jade worked with the Golden Sickle prior to accepting Arantheal’s deal, and maybe in no small part due to her weakness for Kiléans, Jade ended up being very smitten with Dijaam (while also quickly becoming very resentful towards her current employer’s “Path abidingness”, misogyny, and racism). She admired Dijaam’s determination and drive, and even suggested that they leave Enderal together. Too bad the Kiléan pulled the “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” at the end of the day. Oh well. Not the first time that’s happened to Jade. (Dijaam is probably still alive somewhere out there.)

Esme: Like a younger sister. In fact, Jade suspected her sister would’ve been around the same age, and turned out much like Esme if she were still alive. When she first met the fellow Aeterna woman having a hard time at the Frostcliff Tavern, Jade was immediately inclined to lend a hand. The two became closer throughout their search for her former companion, and though Jade feared the worst after a while, she didn’t want Esme to lose hope that she would see Tara alive and well. When the truth came to light, Jade did her best to comfort Esme. Before they parted ways, Esme gifted Jade a family heirloom – an amulet, which she continues to wear thereafter. (I also like to think that Esme was able to find a ship to leave Enderal before the end and is still alive.)

Tharaêl: One of her deepest regrets. To say that their relationship was turbulent would be an understatement. Much as Jade was on board with his cause to kill the Father for experimenting on and murdering innocent children, she grew equally frustrated with Tharaêl’s hypocrisy and uncompromising demeanor. Witnessing his regression to his childhood trauma was also not much unlike episodes she once struggled with, which made her try to empathize with him more. Killing Zar’ah was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her, however, as she did not believe that the mercenary deserved to die and that Tharaêl’s justification for it was bullshit. Still, she resolved to help him kill the Father, who was much worse in her eyes. But, when at that cliff’s edge, she could not bring herself to tell him the right words that could have saved his life. It is a moment that still haunts her long after his death, as she realized some time later that they were not much different. Her silence was his death knell.

39. Was there any non-companion character that they were close to? That they particularly disliked?

There was a quick connection when it came to Merrâyil and the Nehrimese mages, the former due to their shared history as slaves and experiences being Aeterna in a country like Nehrim, and the latter for their shared disdain towards religion and feelings about their homeland. When visiting the Sun Temple, she spent quite a bit of time with the group, particularly pestering Firespark and hanging out with Lishari. She was also deeply affected by Rynéus, as she saw much of her little sister in the boy and wanted so badly to save him. Failing him was like failing her sister all over again.

As for dislikes, she couldn’t stand Maél Dal’Loran, even if she found some of his deeds, such as providing support to the Undercity’s Pest House, to be noble. To Jade, Maél as a person was judgmental, racist, and plain impossible to work for. She ended up resigning from the Golden Sickle after gathering the ingredients he had requested. It doesn’t help that Jade’s first love was a Kiléan woman (not Dijaam), so she was not endeared by his anti-Kiléan sentiments.

40. How do they feel about myrads?

Though flying one for the first time freaked her out, she was immediately enamored with them. They’re majestic, adorable, and worthy of adoration and respect.

41. What dreams or ambitions did they have before coming to Enderal? What about afterwards?

Literally none. Her “dreams” were to crawl into a hole and die somewhere alone, until Sirius had convinced her to try and find a second chance for herself in Enderal.

Afterwards, she decided to just play it by ear. Her wanderlust developed the more she learned about other countries, and she decided she wanted to travel the world someday. Maybe use her newfound Arcanist abilities for good by saving lost souls with her Phasmalism, and figure out a way to rehabilitate the echoes into regaining their sense of self, rather than merely being slaves to the Phasmalist.

42. Do they like cities? Or do they prefer the country? Is there a region of Enderal that they like or dislike more than the others?

Despite always struggling with the noise and chaos of cities before, Jade had to adapt to them at an early age in order to get by. After a point, it just became a necessity, as cities were the easiest places to find places to make money.

She did learn to appreciate them more, to an extent, finding herself people-watching when seeking potential jobs (or marks). But if she could so choose, she would much prefer to live in the countryside.

43. What do they do to lower their considerable stress?

Staring at the underside of a desk until she feels better after a mental breakdown. :)

For real, though, some coping mechanisms are less healthier than others. Some times she’ll blow off steam by practicing her magic, or venting to one of her Phasmalist ghosts (especially Deanna, Kilana, and Zar’ah). Others she’ll get blackout drunk and end up in strange places (or strangers’ beds) she doesn’t remember going. Casual sex sometimes helps, too. Sometimes.

More recently she’s taken to smoking Peaceweed on the regular, which she finds calms her down a good deal. This method is marginally better.

44. Describe their perfect day off.

Dragging Calia out to more social situations, such as playing cards together with Jespar at the tavern (while Jade resists the urge to use her sleight of hand to pull fast ones on the group). In general, she just wants to spend time with her favorite people together. Other than that: Enjoying scenic locations with companions, such as beautiful sunsets, aurora borealis, and peaceful scenes off the beaten path. She absolutely loves Goldenforst. Anytime she can get a hot indoor bath, especially with Calia, is also a good time.

45. List three of their favorite things. Three things they hate?

Loves: Peaceweed, good brandy, animals (she really doesn’t have a particular favorite kind, but she does cry a little inside when a rabid wolf or fox forces her to kill it).

Hates: Cooking meat, swimming, and fire. For obvious reasons.

46. What’s in their pockets?

She gonna pop some tags,

Only got twenty pennies in her pocket–

...

Just a lot of junk, really. Don’t ask how many Endralean sugarbraids she has stuffed in there.

47. Pets? Mounts? Treasured possessions?

Two cats that are more like strays squatting at her house when she first bought it, but she doesn’t mind; she enjoys their company.

She also has a donkey she named Butterstuff and she loves him even if a big Aeterna woman does look kinda silly on a wee donkey.

For treasured possessions, she almost always wears the heirloom Esme gifted her. She might have a bit of a hoarding problem with useless junk, but that amulet is pretty and it means something to her, dammit.

48. How are their cooking skills?

Not good. Most of the stuff she makes is cheap and quick since she could never afford anything fancy before. She can make a decent enough vegetable stew and flatbread, but it doesn’t get more gourmet than that. Either she eats things raw/plain while on the go or she buys much yummier food while passing by vendors (love, love, love those date cakes).

49. Do you consider any particular quest or side quest to be definitive for your prophet? Which one(s) and why?

Other than the big faction ones like the Rhalâta and Golden Sickle: The Voice in the Water is an important quest for Jade, since it kind of explores her (possible) “experience” with the dead by just how natural it felt to be guided by a ghost that she knew wasn’t a product of her insanity. She felt particularly invested in helping to put the spirit of Pentas’ wife, Nira, to rest by seeing the ones who destroyed her life to justice. This quest opened Jade up to the possibility of being able to help people with her new gifts.

A Touching Effigy is also a good one, given that certain elements catered to some of Jade’s distaste for nobles and child killers. Ultimately she sided with Andrasta, because she can forgive killing useless nobles, but not Rhys for killing children in the name of his religion. Though she did (kind of) convince Andrasta to hold off on the murder for a while, mostly so she doesn’t get caught and worry her daughter. Never said Jade’s morals weren’t questionable.

50. How forgiving are they? For example, if they were yelled at in a brothel after searching high and low for this little sh*t, how would they react?

She can forgive well enough if the other party expresses genuine regret for their actions. For example, she easily forgives Jespar because she understood what he was going through, and she was just as much a little shit at the time (and was already tense being around Glimmerdust and a very high, very distressed Jespar). Really, she has a higher tolerance for friends who verbally lash out in the midst of their emotional turmoils, because she gets it – really. Jespar and Calia? Yeah, she got them. If it’s one thing that Sirius taught her, it’s that you don’t give up on friends, not even on their bad days.

There are few things that she just can’t and will never forgive. From her perspective, anyone who has ever hurt a child is the literal scum of the earth. Because of this, she was unable to think of the right words to save Tharaêl, just like how she failed to convince him to spare Qalian because she just couldn’t. And if she had done what Tharaêl had done, she knows that she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself, either. Maybe she could forgive Tharaêl someday, but she could never save him.

51. What do they think of the Veiled Woman?

Initially she really, really hated the Veiled Woman. Hated what she did to Sirius, hated what she did to Esme and Tara, and especially hated that oracular bullshit way of talking in the same vein as the Aged Man.

While she never could fully understand the Veiled Woman, Jade wondered if her motives for doing what she did was because she had some hope to end this particular Cycle. For that reason, and giving humanity a chance, Jade can’t bring herself to completely hate the Veiled Woman, either.

52. If they had been a victim of one of the black stones, how would it have affected them? What would they have used its power to accomplish?

Oh no, a black stone would likely amplify her pre-Enderal (possible) insanity. It would twist her sense of justice for the dead by turning her into a Phasmalist who would abuse the specters she wanted to protect by outright enslaving them, all for the “greater good” when it came to punishing those she deemed evil. Essentially she wouldn’t have been much better off than Adila, except with more actual dead souls at her disposal.

53. What was their reaction to the Black Guardian’s revelations? Do they accept or reject his offer?

Man, she shut the Black Guardian down faster than a speeding ticket. First of all, because she believed he was full of absolute horseshit, such as claiming the High Ones were powerless despite their ability to directly possess others through more than just the Red Madness. Second, she saw through his manipulations, sensing that eons in isolation several leagues under the earth while watching civilizations rise and fall would have various ways of fucking with your head. Like knows like, and Jade has an intimate understanding when it comes to madness. Moreover, she knew a delusion of grandeur when she saw one.

More than anything, though? She had literally zero desire to become a “god” as the Black Guardian had defined it. Due to her hatred for religion and the Lightborn, she refused to become the very thing she so despised. From where she stood, she didn’t even believe there would ever be such a thing as a “humanity with no ego”, as it would be impossible for her to control the hearts and minds of an entire civilization. Even if she could, she wouldn’t want to, since freedom of choice is important to her. In her mind, she thought it was better to give the current human race a chance to learn from the Order’s mistakes and remove the High Ones from the game for good, rather than lead a new civilization down the same path and just repeat the Cycle all over again. The Veiled Woman must’ve seen that there was some worth in this world if she had intervened when she did.

Ultimately it was one of the few times where her “fight” superseded her “flight” instincts. Jade also didn’t act super surprised when the Black Guardian revealed that she had been dead since she woke up in Enderal, because she kind of figured it out already (or suspected that she was just balls-to-the-wall crazy this entire time). She just didn’t know what to make of the whole truth that she was a projection the High Ones created to perpetuate the Cycle – other than to keep fighting it.

54. How does their story end?

Bittersweet. While she consumed the Dreamflower elixir before the end (and didn’t agree with Yuslan’s very random interpretation of the elixir’s effects), her choice still came at a great cost. She lost many friends in the destruction of Enderal, including Jespar. Now she and Calia are on a mission in Qyra to try and save the rest of humanity together.

Since there’s a possibility that Dijaam and Esme are still alive after their questlines, I like to think that they run into each other in Qyra at a certain point... because fate or some shit. The idea of a story where these four women (and the ghost of Zar’ah who totally became Jade’s main backup. Maybe she can finally figure out how to make Phasmal ghosts more “alive” someday) band together to save the world just delights me.

55. Do they change over the course of the story? In what ways?

For sure she does. In the beginning, Jade is a cynical, sarcastic little gremlin who doesn’t trust anyone any farther than she can throw them. She’s the very definition of the Reluctant Hero who doesn’t accept the big main quest immediately, and even tries to run away from her responsibilities the first chance she gets. It also doesn’t help that she was absolutely terrified at first with how her little “ticks” and addiction were just miraculously no longer plaguing her as much anymore, so she was already starting to question her own reality.

As Jade got to learn more about the people on Enderal and form actual friendships throughout her journey, her fondness for this world and desire to save those that live in it grew. While part of her was in the “oh, well, let the world burn” camp, she became that person less and less as time went on.

In Qyra, much about her changes as well. She becomes more driven and serious. Calia had to cut off most of her hair while rescuing her from the rubble of Ark, so not only does her hair stay shorter after that, she also no longer attempts to hide her Aeterna features (such as her ears) like she used to, mostly out of respect for the Jade who died at sea. Rather than slouching to try and appear smaller, she stands tall. The particular “treasure hunter” garb and the blue scarf she wears are little things to honor her memory of Jespar, to whom she had promised she would do her best to save humanity.

But her nightmares become significantly worse, as they are now frequented by a certain “incomplete” High One that takes the form of the Endralean civilization that fell prey to the Cleansing…

56. Anything else you’d like to share about them?

As implied in the last two responses, I had this nightmare fuel concept up my ear not too long ago: What if the Cleansing triggered on Enderal did give birth to an incomplete High One, but now it’s pissed that it never got to finish and is trying to meddle in the efforts to reconstruct the Beacon successfully? The idea of a High One actually consisting of your former allies, including the companion that didn’t survive, is just a brand of horror that I can’t resist… Not to mention really sticks a fork in Yuslan’s theory about the Dreamflower trapping you in an “Elysium where everything seems to go your way” (really, I think he was just trying to dissuade the protagonist from brewing an elixir that would obstruct his plans for revenge. I like to imagine he simply came up with the dream theory on the spot because the flower had “dream” in the name, so it was like the first thing he could think of).

Inevitably, a branch where the Endralean High One is trying to drive Jade into a Mad Prophet would throw a wrench in her and Calia’s efforts to save the world, and they’d have to go through the wringer for their romance to survive. In the end it will, but there’d definitely be some trials and tribulations in which Jade will one day have to open up about her well-guarded secrets. She would also be driven to try and save those who were consumed by the Endralean High One, whatever that may entail.

…I may or may not write an actual fic on this concept someday because I love suffering, but it has been so long since I have ever written a fic so who knows. You’re welcome and I’m sorry.

[curiousskelekitty]

I think I have discovered a gender term to use for mine

Genderqueer Demigirl

I will try to explain this when I'm sober

[thunderheadfred]

hey not to be absolutely fucking disgusting on main but life is a beautiful gift and we are all relatives

[randomcollection-o-stuff]

Penny and Spongebob were so right, a dab will do ya

[waolom]

Ooh bestie I love the idea of a ttpd release party! We really might need some moral support to get through it 🥲 what are you imagining? Maybe we can help with the creativity!

i know!! moral support will be the best lol and if we’re shocked and it’s a major bop fest then more power to it! xD but i’m thinking like… old books wrapped with the song titles stacked in some cool way, a banner of some sort, mocktails of some sort with like a black salt rim!!! and food wise like… lots of dark chocolate and bread because that’s the food vibe i get from the cover idk. but i need to reel in the specifics lmao.

[moreeeeweedddd]

I love flowers 💚🩷

[the-birth-of-art]

Now if you ain't got none And if I ain't got none We can go find some other head Find out if they're holding Get down and start rolling And smoke what they're holding instead

[thebuttsymposium]

I require a LOT of vespene gas rn

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

how do i tell my parents that i can’t take it anymore and i desperately just want to die when i literally can’t tell them that bc they will make me move back home which means i actually will just kms and then they’ll feel awful which would make me feel awful but also i don’t want this life and i can’t take it anymore and nothing i do makes me happy and i’m so so lonely i don’t actually know how to cope i feel like i’m so miserable it causes me physical pain and i just can’t take it anymore i don’t know how to

i just want and need some kind of support

i need the world to stop so i can take a breather

bc as it stands , i’m the only one stopping and the whole world keeps going and it means i’m missing everything, i’m ruining everything that i tried so hard to get

if this is it then what’s the point

i’m so sick of this i genuinely don’t know how long i can last

[inphierno]

jin ramen at almost 4 am 🫨✌️

[tokkias]

What plants should I grown in my garden

strawberries and a single giant asparagus

[bl0w-m3]