#and when you see it by accident that makes it even worse

[jflemings]

— let the light in

pairing: jessie fleming x reader

synopsis: for jessie’s benefit, you end your relationship

warnings: depression, bed rotting, suicidal ideation, self depreciation, isolation, toxic!reader if you squint

a/n: take the warnings seriously and look after yourselves pls <3

as much as you knew you needed jessie, there was no way you were going to allow yourself to hold onto her so tightly. it was a repeated and ongoing cycle that you had been trapped in for years now and it seemed to only be getting worse.

“we can’t be together anymore” you murmur into your half empty cup “i can’t do it”

jessie sits across from you with her mouth agape. “if i’ve done something wrong i can fix it” she says, her voice cracking slightly as she pleads “this can be fixed, let. me. fix. it.”

a heaviness settles behind your eyes as you shake your head “there’s nothing to fix. i’m sorry”

it was as easy as walking out the door and leaving her sitting in her kitchen alone. the bag of your things had weighed your shoulder down as you dragged your feet all the way to your car, not once ever looking back in fear of turning around.

it left you here, laying in bed with the curtains drawn and your phone on do not disturb as you stare blankly at the wall. you had become a shell of the person you think you once were, someone who had hobbies and dreams, someone who wanted to build a life worth living. instead you take sick leave so that you don’t have to get out of bed, you let the dishes pile up in the sink when you do decide to eat and you clear a pathway out of your shit on the floor so you can get to your ensuite bathroom.

the numbness that had overtaken you didn’t allow you to cry, no matter how much you think you wanted too. you were drained. there was nothing left for you to give yourself. it was sick, really, the way your brain could play tricks on you and make you believe you weren’t deserving of the life that you have been given. why would you be? there was absolutely nothing to show for it. all you had was a bed with dirty sheets and a brain that told you death was better than anything else you have ever experienced.

your therapist had told you once that because you hadn’t acted on it, it was merely a way for you to cope without committing. a way to wallow, to escape, from a life that you weren’t ever sure you wanted in the first place. she said that people who have depression but don’t kill themselves will fantasise about it but not pick a date or a means to an end.

only, at one point, you had picked a date. you had closed your eyes and twirled your finger in the air before landing on a wednesday two weeks away. you’d marked it with a red dot and then began clearing out things you didn’t want, giving your belongings to charity or throwing them away before neatly organising what you had left. you thought that your family could decide what to do with them. you didn’t care, you were gonna be dead after all.

it was when your coffee machine had finally broken on you that morning did jessie come swinging into your life. you decided to go to a local coffee shop you liked when she pushed the door open too hard and smacked you square in the face. she had gone bright red and apologised profusely, telling you that the door had slipped out of her grip and that she didn’t even see you. you, with a hand pressed firmly to your forehead, had told her that it was okay, that it was just an accident.

maybe it was her smile, or the way her eyes looked when you actually made eye contact, but something about the canadian had stopped you dead in your tracks. she asked if you wanted to sit with her with the promise of not hitting you in the face again, to which you agreed with a laugh. you began telling eachother about yourselves, from where and how you grew up to hobbies and small quirks you had. when the topic of careers had come around you sheepishly told her that you didn’t watch football beyond the odd match when it was already on tv, and she had beamed at you and cheekily said that she’ll make a blue out of you in no time.

you didn’t go through with it, obviously, and jessie still doesn’t know that she quite literally saved your life that day. your relationship with jessie quickly blossomed and bloomed, soon becoming the most grounding thing in your life. jessie showed you that she loved you long before she told you and never once did she make you feel like you weren’t loved, there were just times where you knew you were hard to love.

like in the beginning when you’d practically ghosted her for three days and then came back with a half assed explanation and a bouquet of flowers; or when you’d completely shut her out and pretend like nothing was wrong when she could see the bags under your eyes and the mess around your apartment. you knew that her friends had told her that it wasn’t a good relationship to be in, that maybe you weren’t who she thought you were. she had brushed them off and ran back to you time and time again.

looking back on it you think that maybe it’s because she knew how bad it was getting, like she caught onto your badly kept secret before you even knew you really had one. when you had initially told her about your depression you insisted that you were doing a lot better and that even though you would have times of relapse, it was nothing compared to how it had been in the past.

the lie had kept up until there were things you were too ashamed to explain to her. like why she couldn’t come over or why you looked like you hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a few weeks. you didn’t know how to tell the footballer that your mental health had sipped out of your control, that you needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it. you didn’t know how to look your own girlfriend in the eye and tell her that you needed her.

that was when you knew it had to end.

when jessie came around to collect her things you just left them in a box outside your front door. you heard her knock but didn’t move from your position as she left with the last pieces of her you had.

she wasn’t stupid, despite the fact that for most of your relationship you clearly thought she was. she noticed the change in your behaviour and how you didn’t go out with friends as much or eat enough. she noticed the late night and even later mornings, the pile of dirty laundry you’d been putting off and the pills you tried to hide.

jessie wasn’t stupid.

when she pleaded to you to fix it, she meant fix you. she wanted you to take the weight off your shoulders and put it on hers because hers are stronger than yours anyway, they can hold more. she wanted you to let her help with the laundry, and to help clean your place. she wanted you to let her wash your hair and make you a good home cooked meal. jessie wanted nothing more than for you to be vulnerable with her, to admit that you needed her just this once.

as much as you adored her, absolutely worshiped the ground she walked on, you weren’t going to do that for her. jessie has a decorated career, one to be proud of, and the last thing she needed was to worry about whether or not you were going to get out of bed in the morning. she didn’t need the extra weight from your baggage dragging her down.

she deserved better, someone who could get up early enough to go for coffee after her morning run, someone who could actually make dinner with her and eat it, someone who didn’t have to create a fucking pathway from their bed to their bathroom because they haven’t cleaned their room in god knows how long. jessie deserved someone worth loving and in your mind, that someone just wasn’t you.

[yanderes-galore]

Platonic Hiccup Haddock III with his sister? Thank you

Sure! Sorry for the long wait, I wasn't sure what direction to take this so this is me thinking of small scenarios.

Yandere! Platonic! Hiccup with Sister! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Fear of Loss, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Slight stalking, Hellicopter brother, Dubious companionship.

I like to imagine maybe you're the younger sister of Hiccup or are similar in age.

You've been raised alongside your brother and father, believing your mother is dead.

Your father is naturally overprotective of you, which probably makes Hiccup overprotective of you.

Ever since the "death" of your mother, Hiccup has been taught to watch over you.

This overprotective behavior is no doubt why later in life you don't get a dragon for awhile.

Platonic! Hiccup is no doubt just him being a helicopter brother to you.

Hiccup seems like the type to worry about every little thing when it comes to his sister's safety.

For example, he'd fuss over your protective gear before you eventually ride a dragon.

He'd want to pick a dragon he knows can protect you rather than one you want.

He's a bit paranoid when it comes to you.

However... he's still a brother.

He tries to support you, he even takes you on rides with Toothless if he knows Toothless will be gentle.

He often has Toothless help train your dragon so Hiccup knows they're safe.

Even when you both find out your mom is alive, Hiccup doesn't relent.

In fact, he even tells your mom how well he protected you.

His worries only get worse when your father dies, anyways....

You just know Hiccup is one of those overprotective brothers who judges who you're around.

He's no doubt used to when you both played together as kids.

That and he just... wants to make sure your friends and potential partners are safe.

I feel Hiccup wouldn't isolate you... but he'd insert himself into your conversations.

He makes it clear to people that he's looking out for you.

Much to your dismay.

He's naive to the fact you may not like him around all the time.

He's so used to betrayal and playing protector that he forgets he's supposed to let you be independent.

To him, he feels he'll always be part of your life.

It hurts him when you try and push him way.

You're not kids anymore.

He seems to have trouble understanding that.

He gets a bit jealous when you have a life of your own, speaking with friends and maybe even finding a partner.

He tries his best to bottle it for you, to have you happy.

But he can't help but have Toothless follow you or one of his other friends check in on you.

There's times he has to hold back on telling off those around you... seeing them as "bad influences".

He probably means well... yet at some point he should learn that he has to let you go.

A platonic yandere Hiccup would focus more on his sister's safety than her happiness.

He feel you're happiest with him.

Which makes him threaten and judge your social circle.

You can tell him off, yet he may just ignore you.

In his eyes, you're his sister... he's your protector and you should rely on him.

Which unfortunately just drives you apart... making him try harder... which causes more harm than good.

Sure, you two originally got along.

You originally did everything together.

Hiccup is so used to that, so deep in his delusions... That he may socially isolate you on accident.

However, to him? It doesn't matter too much...

He'll promise to be the best for you as your brother... just please stop ignoring him...!

"Did... did I do something wrong...? I just want you safe, I swear! Please don't look at me like that!"

[slythepuffle]

Another one shot for @dismissivedestroyer’s Dexter Lives AU. Angst was requested and so angst ye shall receive. Plus it’s something that’s already been brewing in my mind. Set during Hollow Sorrows.

TW: Violence against people, Thoughts of Violence, Implied Character Death (If I’m missing anything please let me know)

He didn’t mean to.

That was the one constant thought running through Dexter’s mind as he sat in the front office, looking down at his feet. The principal was talking to his mom, he could hear them through the door, but his racing thoughts drowned out their words. They made him feel like he was underwater, drowning under them while muffling everything else.

He didn’t mean it – Yes he did – He didn’t want to do it – Yes, he did – It was an accident! – NO IT WASN’T– 

The door opened. He flinched, violently, before slowly turning his head. His mother stood there, her expression just… tired, as she looked back at him. Angry, no, furious, no, disappointed, maybe a little. But mostly… just tired.

He stood up quickly, mouth open to say something. “Mom–”

“Let’s go home, Dexter,” she said quietly, and his mouth snapped shut. He nodded quietly, shrinking under her gaze, and grabbed his backpack off the floor. They walked through the front office, Dexter trailing behind his mother, listening to the whispers around the office as they left.

“Did you hear what he did?”

“What an awful boy…”

“His mother should be ashamed of him.”

His shoulders jerked up to his red ears, grinding his teeth together, and digging his nails into his backpack straps. But he didn’t do anything, no matter how much he itched to do something. He was already in enough trouble as it was anyway. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else either.

The whispers lingered, long after they had left the office, now just sitting in the front seat of his mom’s car.

Dexter couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t bear to see her disappointment, her anger, her shame. He heard her sigh, and then – “So, what happened?”

He blinked, turning to look at her. She wasn’t looking at him, staring straight out the window, hands on the steering wheel. “W–What do you mean? D–Didn’t the principal tell you?”

“Yes, he did tell me,” she confirmed, turning to look at him. Again, she didn’t look mad – she should have been – just tired and expectant. “But, I want to hear it from you too. So, Dex, what happened?”

He looked at her, uncertain. What could he tell her? What should he tell her? A lie? Something to make him sound better to her, like what he did wasn’t wrong? His stomach churned at the thought – He couldn’t lie to his mother.

“I–I did hit the kid,” he mumbled, sinking into the seat. “B–But I didn’t mean to hurt him! I swear I didn’t. I was just… upset. He put spiders in my locker.”

That had been the main reason. The kid was a bully, but had gotten away with things before because he was the teacher’s son. Dexter was his main target for a long time already, and this incident just pushed him over the edge.

But there was another reason. One that scared him.

After he first hit the kid, he felt a sudden, almost euphoric rush. It was… pleasing, to see him hurting and crying after what he did. But then, Dexter kept hitting him. He hit him and hit him and hit him, until the kid’s face was bloodied and bruised.

And some sick part of himself had liked it.

Dexter had liked watching him bleed and had especially enjoyed being the one who caused it. But he also hated it. It felt wrong, to see the other kid in tears, covered in his own blood. But he continued to hit him, up until a teacher pulled him away.

It was worse when he was sitting alone in the office, after the initial rush had faded away, leaving him guilty and scared of himself.

What would have happened if the teacher didn’t stop him? How far would he have gone? Would he have hit him even after the kid no longer moved? Until he was covered in the other’s blood, fists bruised by how many times he threw a punch?

Those thoughts made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to hurt other people, he really didn’t. He just… did. And he had enjoyed it, in the moment, which made him feel even worse.

Dexter felt himself tear up at the memories and thoughts, turning away from his mother in shame. What would she think of him, if she knew what was going on in his head? Would she still consider him to be her little boy?

Would she hate him?

Michelle looked at her son. He was so grown, almost thirteen now. But, to her, he was still her little boy, the one who she hugged whenever he was cold. She knew that he would never hurt anyone without purpose or a reason, regardless of what other people said. He was always striving to be a good kid, never realizing that he already was one.

Her gaze softened, and she leaned forward, pulling her son into a hug. Dexter flinched, surprised. “M–Mom?”

“What you did was wrong, Dex,” she said firmly, pulling away. She held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eyes. He shrunk under her eyes, but listened as she continued. “Hurting people is wrong, you and I both know that.”

He shrank away, looking away. She smiled, soft and sad, adding, “But, I also know that you didn’t mean to hurt that boy. Despite what everyone else may say, I know that you, Dexter, are a good kid. You make mistakes, like everyone else does, and you learn from them.”

Dexter blinked at her, eyes wide behind his glasses. He hadn’t expected that. He had expected anger, disappointment, frustration. Not… not this. “What if… what if no one else sees it that way? ”

“Even if no one else sees the good in you, I always will. I’ll always love you, for all the flaws that you may have and the mistakes that you make. And I’ll always be there for you, Dex.”

He could feel his eyes watering but he didn’t want to cry. “Promise?”

Michelle smiled at him, soft and loving. “I promise.”

He couldn’t hold them back – Tears welled up in his eyes as his mother pulled him in close, as he buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed. They hugged each other tightly, just sitting there in the school parking lot, crying until his eyes were red and puffy. When they pulled away, he could see her eyes were shiny, even if she was smiling brightly.

“Alright, enough of the waterworks. We’ve cried enough for today. Wanna go get ice cream?”

He rubbed his eyes, shooting her a watery grin. “Heck yeah!”

~~~~

Dexter let out an angry hiss as he pressed a hand to the newly bandaged wound on his side. Shoulda gone to Patty, she was better at this than he was. “Fucking cultists… ”

He had been hanging out with his honorary nephews earlier, walking them around town along with Father Gregor when he had suddenly been called away. Apparently, there was an infestation somewhere away, just on the outskirts of town. Far from his usual route, but nothing too straining. He knew the kids would be safe with the priest, so he left them with promises to hang out later once he was done.

Except, he wasn’t able to do that.

The call was a trap. When he arrived, the house was empty and when he turned around, he was immediately stabbed in the side. Luckily, he reacted quickly, twisting the knife out of his side and returning the favor on the red-robed psycho that jumped him. He kicked the bastard for good measure, then ran like hell out of there back into his truck.

The guy had tried to follow him, more of them emerging from somewhere in the house, but ended up eating the cloud of dust he left behind. Now here he was, sitting in his mom’s bathroom, bandaging up his wounds. He was glad she was out of the house – She would have freaked out when she saw him.

It was weird though. Her appointments usually didn’t take this long…

Suddenly, there was a loud sharp knock, coming from the living room. He peered out of the bathroom door, eyes narrowed behind his glasses. It couldn’t have been his nephews – The last time they were over, Skid had an allergic reaction to all the cat fur. It couldn’t have been his mother either – It’s her house, she would have the keys.

Dexter decided to go check it out, getting up off of the stool. Cats hissed at him where he walked, but he ignored them. It wasn’t worth it to bother them. Then, he opened the door just a crack, peering out of it to see who was outside.

“Father Gregor?” he asked, a bit surprised, before opening up the door more. The priest looked like he had been through hell, with his leg clearly bitten and bloodied. “Father, what happened to you?”

The priest’s expression was grim. “It’s been a long night, Mr. Erotoph. And many terrible things have occurred tonight.”

Dexter was immediately concerned. “Did something happen to the kids?”

Father Gregor frowned, but shook his head. “No, the children are fine. This is… another matter, I’m afraid.”

The priest reached into his pocket, pulling out something with a golden chain. He looked on, confused, as the man offered it to him. Dexter took it, feeling something round in his hands, and looked down at it. His heart dropped.

It was his mother’s locket, the one that held a picture of him. He ran his thumb around the edge, popping open it just to confirm. Once he did, he looked up at the priest. “Wh-Where did you get this?”

Father Gregor inhaled, standing up straight. “I am sorry that I have to be the one to inform you, Mr. Erotoph. But your mother… was in an accident, at the hospital. One of the staff had been possessed by a demon and she hadn’t known.”

The Father was speaking still, but Dexter couldn’t hear him. He was staring back down at the locket, static filtering out the words, growing louder and louder–

“I–I need a moment,” he interrupted, voice cracking. He knew it was rude, but he just– just– “Please.”

Father Gregor seemed to understand, nodding his head. “My doors are always open for you, Dexter.”

The man limped away, and Dexter shut the door, leaning against it. Now alone, his thoughts rushed forward, flooding his mind. Drowning out everything else–

She’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s never coming back you’ll never see her again she’s never going to come home she’s never going to be able to hold you again she’s dead–

“Even if no one else sees the good in you, I always will. I’ll always love you, for all the flaws that you may have and the mistakes that you make. And I’ll always be there for you, Dex.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Dexter let out a strangled sob, clutched the locket hard to his chest, and dropped down to his knees.

She was gone.

[fili-urzudel]

A Kiss Hello - Fíli x Reader

Hey guys, look who keeps overcommitting :D

Anyway how about instead of any of the requests I have in my inbox you read a short piece I wrote in November 2022?

Word Count: 0.7k

Warnings: none

Fíli had always thought it was a bit of a strange greeting and goodbye. One kiss to each cheek, your hands easily resting on his shoulders to pull him in. You told him it was normal where you came from, and he supposed he wasn't one to tell you you weren't allowed to practice your culture near him.

It helped that he didn't exactly mind. You had lived with them under the mountain for years, and he was still the only one left with a burning face and butterflies in his stomach once you were out of sight.

"Fíli, this is getting ridiculous," Kíli sighed goofily as they traversed the halls of the mountain, trying to find the longest and most time-consuming route to their meetings. "I can see hearts in your eyes whenever she's around, why don't you just... confess?"

"Because I'm not you, Kíli," Fíli said, a bit agitated. "It's expected of me to find a nice dwarrowdam and settle down, keep our people happy. I can't just... just..."

"Just be happy with the woman you so obviously love?" Kíli interrupted, seemingly unfazed by his brother's sharp words. "You're free to make your own decisions, but I can promise you will live with regret forever if you don't do something. And soon."

Fíli looked slightly up at his younger brother. "What is that supposed to mean? What do you know?"

Kíli shrugged, eyes trained on the path ahead of them. He wasn't smiling anymore.

"Kíli!" Fíli felt his frustration rising, and with it, panic. What was happening? What were you going to do? "What, is she going to leave?"

Kíli only looked at him.

The golden prince's heart sank.

Was it his fault?

Fíli paced, wringing his hands, in the marketplace you always seemed to find yourself in, sometimes to sell, sometimes just to shop—oh, how he loved how vibrant you were when you shopped with him.

At this point, his heart was no longer in his stomach, but his feet. He couldn't stand it if you left, all because he chased you away, all because he was stupid and didn't know when to admit it—

"Y/N!" He interrupted his own thoughts, seeing you draw near. You held the basket you always used when shopping, the one he bought you in one of the towns you stopped at, before Erebor had even been won. It was looking a little worse for the wear, but you refused to give it up.

"Fíli!" You called back with a smile, but your eyes looked strained.

He wrestled with his brain, trying to figure out what to say first. His words became an incomprehensible knot. "Are you leaving?" He blurted. He just... he just really needed to know.

"Yes, actually, I am," you admitted, gazing at the floor. "I figured... I don't know, I think it's just time," you nodded, mouth twisted in a sad smile. "I hope you won't miss me too badly."

Fíli's heart raced. "Actually, if I could—"

A voice called out to you, and from the looks of it, it belonged to the head of a caravan you were looking to travel with.

"I'm so sorry, it looks like I have to go," you apologized, moving forward to bid him goodbye.

First, it was the right cheek, and as you moved to kiss his left, he turned, catching your lips with his.

The contact was fleeting, you startling back, flustered. "Oh, goodness, I'm sorry—"

You were still only centimeters from him. "Don't go," he murmured, moving to kiss you again. He didn't want to leave any doubt in your mind—that was not an accident.

His heart fluttered as he felt you kiss back, tilting your head as his hand rose to cup your face.

"I won't," you said as you pulled away, hot breath fanning across his face.

He felt eyes on the two of you from all sides. There would be no hiding this, no killing rumors or trying to keep a secret. "Good," he said, his lips still almost touching yours.

He had always liked your goodbyes, but this new beginning was much better.

[mysadblacksoul]

Backslide - 3/13 of the Clancy album

Grab a coffee and let's start this madness

MV

Tyler is wearing the same clothes that he wore in Overcompensate MV to I would assume that this MV takes place right after

Let's break down the signs first

We see the return of Ned Bayou as well as FPA, now standing for Food Petrol Etc.

You can buy 9 buns for $21, love the symbolism

There is a Jim sign omg. Baby is having his own bubblegum business

Of course the Bishops sign with 9 lines marked on it

I could've sworn that the black sign says "Dema Vapes", but looking closely I believe it's "Velma Vapes" lol

What is more, the cones (?) are yellow and I'm pretty sure that the fact that there are 5 of them is not an accident

They sold him bread that went bad lol. Nah for sure it's not the case since he gives the same bread to a child

But I believe that the scene and the lyrics are closely tied with Stressed Out

Now the next scene is interesting

I think that the bad weather is a simple metaphor for feelings of anxiety or fear

We can see that Tyler was contemplating then he was suddenly pulled from his thoughts

This is when the scene changes to normal, right? Exactly on the line It's over my head

Then we move to the scene with the kid

And I really believe that this little lad is personification of Ned

Like he has the same boba eyes lol

No but for real, this is parallel to Chlorine - kid is giving Tyler a cup just like Tyler gave to Ned. Yet he accepts it and drinks whatever is inside and Ned just shudders

Another interesting thing, that could make my point more valid is that the kid literally asks Is that a stain? You should change / Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? like he knows Tyler very well and is in a way looking out for him

It's like he's keeping Ned by him - okat I'll stop

It might be a stretch, but the N kinda looks like a mirrored band symbol, do you also see it?

If 0.75c is equivalent to the cost of one bun than Tyler is being ripped off since he paid $21 for the pack instead of $6.75 lmao

Something is really wrong with those buns lmao

Then the mood changes again, but this time is even worse. Like his mental health is declining even more and even faster

The bread is wet, the day is ruined, thanks Mr. Joseph

You killed it Josh, love your creative mind

*funny music stops*

Now let's talk about the way how the MV is looping itself

I would say that it is a demonstration of the twisted circle that is life

Maybe it's a very basic analysis but I think of all the complicated lore-oriented MVs this one is uncomplicated

What is shown here is how our psyche can play tricks on us and how we can complicate a rather simple situation ourselves

If Tyler hadn't had dark thoughts then nothing would have happened to the bread, so he would have just gone and given it to Josh

This shows how our psyche itself can abolish the situation in which we find ourselves

Looping, on the other hand, shows that as long as we don't do anything about it ourselves, we will be stuck in this fishbowl (see what I did there?)

Maybe it's one big AD to check your mental health and a sign to try to get better

Lyrics!

Rat race, place to place, adding weight / Tendencies on repeat, innit? - rat race for sure happened in Dema, and repeat is literaly the loop, innit meand that Clancy is canonicaly British

Benefit from a shoe with no lace - shoe with no lace would make you fall back on the behaviour that you are running from

Take the seat with the crease in it - seat of someone who already tried to change their life, or even who had the same dreams and hopes for better future like Clancy

This could be parallel to When I leave, don’t save my seat/ I’ll be back when it’s all complete from Chlorine

I don't care, you control me / Leading me anywhere - well, all I should say is Dema don't control me and we all know the rest of the story

I don't wanna backslide to where I've started from - he doesn't wanna go back to his back habits as well as doesn't wanna go back to his life before he tried to escape

There's no chance I will shake this again - if he falls back one more time that will be the end of him. His psyche won't take it anymore and his plans will be buried

'Cause I feel the pull, water's over my head - this is parallel to Fall Away And I, I can feel the pull begin. But it also gives me the parallel to Holding On To You MV, the scene with the rope

Strength enough for one more time - like I said, this would be the last attempt to change everything

Reach my hand above the tide - it could indicate that his physical strength is also wearing out

I'll take anything you have / If you could throw me a line - again with the line. But it also can mean that he can endure anything now, he just needs a little helping hand

I should've loved you better - this line can be directed both to himself but also to the person who extends his hand to help. He might not have appreciated both parts before and now regrets it

Do you think that now's the time / You should let go? - This line is like both a request and an apology. As if he wants to say “I'm sorry I treated you badly before but please don't leave me when I need help”

Bad place, on a hundred-dollar bass - this line is also giving me Stressed Out. You can imagine the cheap bass being transported on the bicycle right?

Kinda wishin' that I never did "Saturday" - I think that he doesn't mean the MV irl lol, but the regret of taking part in Bishops' manipulation altogether

Is that a stain? You should change - a play with mentioning Saturday and the lirycs She said that I should change my clothes

Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? - like I said before I believe that this is Ned looking out for Clancy, wishing him well

Thanks for asking, in a way, but / Accidentally uncovered a new one yesterday - safe to say that he is not doing better lol

What happened to what I brushed under the rug? - what happened to how well he used to be able to hide his problems and true feelings

I used to be the champion of a world you can't see / Now I'm drowning in logistics - if viewed as a fact that he created this world it now looks like he wants to regain all control over it. Logistics is to take care of the management of planning. And once again we see the mention of drowning

The bridge is acting as an externalization of his myhs and fears that even if he is outside the Dema, the Bishops will still have control over him

The entire song is about both regaining conrol over the world of Dema but also regaining control over himself, his psyche.

The main theme is about not going back to old habits.

The most important thing here is progress and pushing forward.

Because one wrong move can make all the work in vain and we will sink to the very bottom.

Safe to say that I liked it haha

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Can you do a continuation of Yandere Buddha, Shiva ( and his wives ), Hades, and Beelzebub and their cautious forest goddess darling. Like can you go into even deeper depth of their very slow progressing relationship and maybe even add a cockblock into the mix. Maybe the darling has caught the attention of a river deity that close to their neck of the woods and they fancy them. To make it even worse things seems to be going a kind of ( but not by much ) easier for the river deity to gain the darling's trust and maybe even affections. So how are the yanderes going to react and what are they going to do.

-It had been months now since he first met you, after you guided him out of your forest, keeping your distance, knowing that all wasn’t what it seemed with his affections and warm smiles.

-He was a patient person, he was a god after all, as you were, so he knew that there was plenty of time to win you over, eventually.

-He wandered into your forest, like normal, seeking you out to have a normal chatting session with you, in hopes that you would be even closer today, or at least more open in talking with him- his mind already running away with delusions.

-He wandered into the clearing he had been finding you at recently, next to a large river that cut through most of your forest, and he heard you giggling softly at something.

-He thought it was a rabbit or another of your animals you doted on so gently, imagining how cute you were going to look when he spotted you.

-Hold up.

-Who the flying fresh FUCK is that?! And why are you sitting so close to him? Why are you smiling at him?!

-He kept behind a tree, not being seen, seeing you talking to another minor deity, like yourself, a river deity, who oversaw this river in Valhalla, just like how you oversaw this forest.

-His teeth grinded together as rage filled every inch of his being, eyes locked on this, this unworthy piece of trash that was talking so openly to you! Doesn’t he know that you should be treated with the upmost respect, that you should be treated like the goddess you were, worshipping the very ground you walked upon!!

-His nails dug into the bark of the tree as you laughed at something this upstart said, who was grinning warmly up at you. Did he know you were already taken?!

-(Love’s) blood felt like ice when you placed a flower behind this little river god’s ear, you had never given him a gift like that- what was so special that this twerp had that he didn’t, he was one of the strongest gods in all of Valhalla!!

-His gaze shifted to you and instantly softened, you were so beautiful, so innocent, you weren’t doing anything wrong in his eyes, it was this other god who had somehow tricked you, making you drop your guard so you would get closer.

-While curious on how he did it as you were still so shy and cautious with him, he knew that you were in trouble, this minor god was someone dangerous and evil, someone who would spirit you away and lock you up, trapped and afraid!

-(Love) knew that he needed to do something, but he couldn’t let you catch him, or else you might be scared of him, and he couldn’t do anything that would risk your lovely forest or the animals you care so fondly for.

-First, he needed to find out more about this ‘god’ who was taking your attention, to figure out his weakness, then arrange an ‘accident’ and while you were upset, morning this upstart who only wanted to use you, he would swoop in and rescue you and dry your tears.

-Don’t worry Y/N, you were going to be safe soon!

[anemptypuddingcup]

Guilt-melting regret.

Yuji Itadori x Ghost Female Reader Rewrite.

Regret; Yuji Itadori Original.

Contains: Yuji is aged to twenty in this fic. Reader is a curse. Yuji cursed Reader. Yuji is very sad and apologetic in this fic. Yuji waking up from a nightmare. Yuji getting comfort from Reader. Mentions if Readers death. Mentions of Yuji killing Reader. Fingering. Riding. Mating press. A sad but comforting story.

Yuji lets out a shaky sigh as he gripped the pillow cradling his temple tightly.

He toss and turned in his bed, the sheets making his body more hot as he trembled in slight fear. He was having a nightmare, a usual one that he always had. He never got to see you in his nightmares but he’s always hear your voice scolding him in such a scornful for doing what he did to you.

The view was clear and there’s was nothing but a clear beautiful sky and clear waters meeting at his ankles.

The world around him looked so calming yet the water rippled with every word you spoke.

How dare you.

How could you.

How could you do this to me Yuji? I’ve done not a single thing to you.

You’ll burn in hell for what you’ve done to me.

He couldn’t do anything but to sit there and listen to your angered yet pained voice, knowing what he did to you was wrong and wasn’t supposed to happen in a way.

Everyone still thinks that it was an accident but only Yuji, Sukuna and yourself only know the truth.

“I-I’m sorry…I just…”

He couldn’t even think of an excuse. What he did was unacceptable. What’s worse is that he knew what would happen to himself if he ever told anyone. Him or Sukuna.

He already had this execution on his hands…and now he had this to deal with on top of it.

The water began to boil beneath his feet and he gasped out, his body beginning to sweat from the heat of the water boiling his skin while your voice fell silent.

I won’t forgive you…

I’ll never forgive you.

I regret ever calling you my lover, the very man who I loved so dearly before he’d betrayed me using his own bare hands.

“Please! I-I’m sorry-“

Sorry isn’t going to recover me from this pain Yuji! I can’t even fucking live anymore.

You took my life away from me!

To think that I fell in love with someone like you…

You don’t deserve my love and neither my affection. You’ll never deserve me or another woman for what you’ve done to me.

Yuji stood there and huffed out heavily as the water boiled his skin, making it bubble and blister from the intense heat. The water turned red and you slowly rose up from the liquid, and your eyes slowly looking up into Yuji’s who suddenly began to panic at the sight of your appearance.

Yuji…

“N-No…Please I’m sorry baby!-“

Yuuuuuji…

Yuji fell into his backside, the boiling water burning both his hands and the back of his calves and thighs.

“Baby please! I’m sorry! I really am!”

It’s time to wake up Yuji.

A hand grabs Yuji’s neck from beneath and pulls him into the red and sticky boiling water, one last apology leaving his throat as he reaches his hand out to your body.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Burn in hell.

The last thing he could see was your enlarged eyes staring at him as he got pulled into the boiling water.

“AH!- HAH-“

Yuji shot up from his bed, a cold sweat and tears spilling down his face as he shoved his blankets off frantically. He scoots back and up against his headboard, pressing a roughly scarred hand to his forehead as he inhaled deeply. He was broken and hurt already…but that dream just made him feel even more terrible.

He felt his bed shift slightly and he freezes before sighs out and gets out of bed, his bare feet touching the cold floorboards which were in contrast with his dream he had.

It seemed that his yelling had disturbed someone who slept beneath his bed.

He slowly presses his hand to his floorboards and bends over to see what caused his bed to shift.

Enlarged glassy eyes stared back at him and he shudders before chuckling a bit nervously. He always liked it when those large eyes devoided of emotion and life stared back into his hazel ones. “Hey baby…” He chuckled sweetly, giving you a warming smile while you continue to stare back at him. Your face slowly comes into view, showing off your white yet transparent features. Your lips loss all their pigment and so did your long unkempt hair.

You slowly tilt your head to him, your eyes growing half-lidded while he looks away from you nervously. He reaches his hand ott it to you beneath the bed, and you look down at it before looking back at him. “Can you…Can you come out? It’s okay, no one’s around to see you alright?” Yuji asked, reassuring you and urging you to come out of hiding.

Your brows furrow but you slowly reach for his strong hand before grasping it tightly. Yuji pulls you up, your body getting a bit stuck beneath the bed as both you and him let out struggled groans. “Gh- Cmon! Cmon you’re right there baby!-“ He groans out, pulling on your arm as he used a bit of strength to get you up. You tried pushing yourself up from the floor but your body was sorta stuck beneath the bed.

You let out a gargled whine as you looked up at him with worry in your eyes and he suddenly stops, not wanting to hurt you. He quirks a brow and presses a hand to his chin before sliding his hands underneath your arms. “Mmh- Cmon babe-“ He huffs out, pulling you from beneath the bed and stumbling back a bit from recoil.

Yuji slowly sat back down onto his bed, breathing heavily while he held you in his arms. His chest raised and lowered quickly, and you looked down at him with your big glassy eyes with worry. He gives you a little smile, his hand running through your pretty strands while you stared up at him. “Are you okay baby? You got stuck down there again didn’t ya?” He chuckles, looking into your eyes. You nodded in response, wrapping your cold arms around his neck and laying your head against his shoulder.

He felt your body snake around him, a bit of a phantasmagoric sensation on his skin and therefor making him reflect back onto the nightmare he had. He watched as your eyes stared deep into his, the silence making his thoughts so loud in his mind and his guilt even heavier in his heart. He sighs out heavily as the chill of your body lingered in the atmosphere and against his skin, making him shudder slightly while you tilt your head in worry.

Yuji pulls you close to his body, his strong arms holding you close and warm in his embrace.

Though you were forever cold no matter how warm his hug was…

His head drops down in guilt and he couldn’t help but to sigh out in heavy heartache. “I’m sorry…” He apologizes, his eyes reflecting a look of dullness and of him being broken. You couldn’t help but to frown and wrap your arms around him to hold his warm body tight, trying your best to reassure him of the guilt and pain he was feeding himself.

He watched as your lips worded I forgive you to him, accepting him and his apology many times like you’ve done before. Yet it wasn’t enough for him, he felt that no matter how many times you forgave him not even your words could convince him that you really were okay with being dead.

No one else would be, so why would you be different?

You were just a lingering soul that needed to be put to rest.

He sighs out shakily and began to feel his body tremble from your cold before he fell back into the bed with you in his arms. He was very broken, but then again he had no one but himself to blame for his own actions.

He’d remembered the face you made while his hands were tight around that pretty neck of yours. Your head buried deep beneath the surface tension of the cold and chilling water while your eyes were rolling up to the back of your skull and losing life.

What became of him to do such a thing to you, to murder you and take your life away from your body? It wasn’t even Sukuna who caused him to do a thing or ever persuaded him. It was his own free will and it was what he wanted to do.

Even if he was angry…his face told you otherwise as you met your demise that day.

The chilling face of no remorse and no sympathy. He looked as if he didn’t care about your life or all the good times you had along the way…

You watched as his tears ran uncontrollably down his face, and with that you pepper your cold lips onto his temple and pull him close into your cold and chilly embrace. He couldn’t help but to turn away and cry, the guilt sinking in deep as he suffered the consequence of committing a sin which he willingly did. “I’m sorry. I’m just…I’m so sorry.” He apologized profusely, gasping out while he held on tight to your skin tight dress and pulled you to him. You give him a look of question and keep him close, waiting for his emotional and partial mental breakdown to cease.

You nuzzled your nose within his neck, enjoying the warmth of his skin and finding it rekindling. Though part of you wished to have that same feeling back in your own body just as you did years ago…

Yuji kept you close and wrapped within his arms, holding you like you were the only thing that mattered dear to him. Which…you were. The aftertaste of your death kissed at his skin and he sighs out again agonizingly, his hot tears running down his face while runs his hand along your back. “I’m…sorry.” He continued, unable to stop thinking about the incident and apologizing to you.

You pepper a kiss to his cheek and smiled softly, lying close against him while he stared back into your large glassy eyes. You cup his face with your cold hands and squish his cheeks, trying to cheer him up a bit or to at least making him feel the slightest bit better. Itadori sighs out as he watched you wipe his tears away, kissing at his tear-soaked cheeks while he stared at you with his glossy hazelnut eyes.

Itadori wraps his strong arms tighter around your midsection, a sigh leaving him as he begins to pepper his hot lips against your cold skin. Your fingers comb through his undercut as he rested his head against your breasts, breathing shakily as he recovered from his panic attack.

He looks up into your eyes and watched as you blinked slowly, your eyes adoring the glistening yet broken life in his. He nuzzles up against you neck before giving you a little smooch, pressing his lips against yours once before he went for another desperate kiss. He mewls out as he indulged in the taste of your lips, kissing you a little bit deeper whilst sliding his rough hands beneath your tight dress.

His hands runs up under your dress and he feels around your soft inner thighs before palming at your clothed cunt, making you gasp out. “Mmmmgh~” You pulled Itadori closer to your body on instinct, wrapping your legs around his hips as he palmed and massaged your clothed pussy. His hand slide into your panties and he rubs his fingers against your slit, your thighs spreading wider as he provided a bit of friction and stimulation to your pussy.

“Ahhh~ Hah~” Your brows began to furl as a strangled moan leaves past your lips, your cunt tightening and fluttering around nothing but air as Yuji rubs his fingertips along your slit while his palm grinds and rubs hard against your clit. “Hahhh~ Mmhh~” You lie back against his fluffy pillows and moan out needily, your hips grinding up against his hand while the pleasure began to make your body feel all hot and sticky with arousal. Yuji pulls your panties off and throws them to the side, spreading your thighs open more as his fingertips rubbed circles at your clit.

Yuji drools out a bit onto your slit before sliding his digits along his tongue suckling on his digits, coating his fingers in his saliva before he slowly slid them past your tight entrance and deep into your pussy. You watched as he slowly slides his fingers into your pussy, softly pumping them in and out of you while your toes curled against him with ecstasy. His other hand slides beneath your dress before he slowly pull it off of you, pulling it over your head and arms whilst he multitasked on your cunt in front of him.

His hand reaches out and gropes your breast and you moan out shakily, your back arching while your face scrunches up in heavy arousal. Yuji pumps his fingers faster inside of your pussy, sighing out as he felt his cock growing hard within his joggers. He adored watching you squirm and moan out for him, the feeling of your walls tighten around his fingers made him smile and sigh out shakily.

“MMGH!~” His fingers had kissed your sweet bundle of nerves, making you gasp out suddenly before you’d press your hands against his shoulders.

Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful being sprawled out beneath him like this, he didn’t know what else was. He could feel himself soaking in his boxers, practically drenching them while he watched and felt his fingers slide in and out of your pussy.

Scissoring his fingers inside of your cunt causes you to gasp out before tensing up, your walls tightening around his fingers while his fingertips kept kissing that loving little g-spot of yours. Yuji sighs out shakily before removing his fingers from inside of you, his body and his cock unable to stay patient much longer. You whine out at the sudden withdrawal but he shushes you before chuckling.

“I’m about to give you somethin’ better than my fingers. Fuck I’m about to give you something so much better than my fingers~”

He nearly rips the drawstring off as he struggled to loosen his joggers, the string making him more irritated as he struggled to get them off. Once he loosened up the string, he slowly pulls off both his joggers and his boxers. His hardened cock pops out as hits against his lower abdomen, making him hiss out before he looks back down to you.

His thick cock was leaking with pre and he was in desperate need of your attention, like a dog going through its heat. You giggled and teased at him, wiggling your hips your fingers slowly spreads your folds open for him, revealing even more of your pussy.

“Ohh fuck babyy~” He hissed out before running his thumb along your sticky slit, his touch making you mewl out shakily as he played to your clit and ran his thumb along your slit in circles.

“Stop teasin’ me! You’re being mean and making my dick even harder for ya. Can’t you see how hungry my dick is for your pussy?~” He huffed out, pouting at you while his hands gripped your hips and ran along your skin. You giggle out to him and mewl out as his fingers played at your inner hips. He stared down at you before smiling all sweetly, his hands sliding your body down closer to his. “I’m gonna take care of you...Do you trust me with taking care of you this time…?” He asked you carefully, his hands halting as he asked you his question.

You stare up at him blankly in response, looking at him intently with concern as if you were being cautious of his words. He tilts his head before smirking softly yet nervously to you, staring into those big black pupils of yours with his hazelnut eyes of his. “I promise I won’t hurt you…not anymore. Not after how much I’ve done to ya…” He says shakily, trying his best to keep his smile on his face.

You blink and your eyes softens up before you’d smile to him, trusting him to touch you as long as he didn’t hurt you anymore. You stretch your arms out and hugged him tightly, pulling him close against your naked body while Yuji’s eyes widens in shock. He sighs shakily before he hugged you back, enjoying your cold embrace in contrast with his hotter frame. You press your lips against his and mewl out lovingly, your cold hands trailing along Yuji’s skin and making him moan out lovingly at your touch.

You let out a shaky little giggle before sitting up against Yuji’s pillows while he lied down against you again, with you looking down into his hazel eyes while he stared up at you with a slight pout. You inhaled shakily before finally nodding eagerly and smiling, your fingers spreading your folds open for him once again before you’d blink all cutely to him.

Yuji exhales shakily and gets back up on his knees, his eyes growing half-lidded as they trailed down along your soft and delicate body. He moves back in close to you before pressing his lips against yours again, giving you a deep kiss before pulling back while a string of saliva disconnects from your tongues. “Fuck babyyy~” He moans out shakily and looks deep into your eyes, hissing out as he begins grinding his bare cock along your slit.

He grinds and ruts up into your slit, groaning out while his hands reaches up to your pretty breasts. He groped and fondled the soft mounds before hissing out and biting his bottom lip, moving his lips in close to your ear before whispering to you. “Here, sit up on my body. I wanna feel that pretty ass of yours against my hips~” He giggled, his tone of voice making your body shudder unconsciously before you nodded and obeyed.

You watched Yuji lie down and back up against his pillows before he’d reach his hands out to you, waiting for you to crawl your pretty body on top of his. You slowly crawled up onto his body and hovered your hips over his, your slit dripping out slick onto his cock while a pleased hum leaves his throat.

His hands softly grabs your hips before he pulled them down onto his, his cock kissing your cunt while you gasp out shakily at the warmth and stickiness of his dick against your pussy. Yuji reaches his hands around your hips, his rough hands groping at the fat of your ass while you mewl out and blushed deeply at his touches.

“I’m gonna ram into this pussy, you want me to fuck your pussy baby? Yeah?~” Yuji cooed, his hand reaching up to your face and teasing at your skin. You slid your hands along his shirt and you could feel his chest and his toned abs through the fabric, his fit and strong physique making your body tremble with excitement while he lied there beneath your smaller and weaker frame.

“I’m gonna put it in~ You want me to put it in? You want this fucking dick inside of your pussy yeah? You want it?~” Yuji continued to tease you playfully while your body trembled against his, teasing you whilst rubbing his cock along your sticky and needy slit. You whimpered in response and wiggled your hips against his, wanting him to just stop teasing you while you started lifting your hips again.

“Okay okay, I’ll put it in baby~” He giggles at your desperation and gives you a little smooch, his hands holding your hips softly in place while he presses his cock head up against your cunt. He slowly pulls your hips down and begins to slide in past your entrance, a hiss leaving his lips as he felt your pussy automatically beginning to squeeze around his cock and suck him in so easily.

You groan out shakily at the stretch and straddle him to keep yourself balanced, his face softening up and giving you a loving smile while he took it as slow as he possibly could. You moan out all shakily to him as he bottoms out inside of your pussy, a heavy moan leaving your lips while your eyes had shut softly at his cock smooching your cervix.

He sighs out and runs his fingers up your lower body, a sigh leaving him as he enjoyed the feel of your chilling skin kissing his fingertips. He hissed out all shakily as he allowed you to adjust, melting in the feeling of your walls pulsating around his length.

“Oh baby~ Your pussy’s so hungry for me isn’t it?~” He groans out shakily, his hazel eyes staring up into your dead ones while you moan out shakily against him. You hum out to him as your brows furled from the pleasure of him inside of you, your body now begging for you to just move your hips against his.

You softly begin moving your hips up against his, your movements making Yuji sigh out in arousal while he held your hips softly. “T-Take it slow~ Y-You don’t have to rush it~” He mewls out to you, his eyes flickering down to your pussy and watching as it pulled and massaged his length deep inside. You unconsciously rode his cock with ease, your voice all sweet and sugary while your body bounced on top of his softly.

Yuji’s moans grew all airy and light as his hand presses up against your tummy, wincing from the pleasure as your pussy enveloped his cock. “Hah~ S-So needy weren’t ya? D-Does it feel good inside of your pussy?~” He asked you, his voice trembling as he shuts his eyes softly and threw his head back in ecstasy. Your moans easily answered his question as he watched your body move carefully yet lovingly.

“M-Mmgh~ Ah~” You moan out to him and he smirks to you, his hand cupping your cheek while his other hand held on to your hip. He groans out shakily before he sits up, adjusting himself so he could be closer while he watched you move all on your own.

“I missed you, god I missed you so fuckin’ much~ I missed this~” He gasps out, his arms slowly sliding around your smaller frame before he’d pull you closer into his larger frame. You rested your head against his chest, your arms wrapping around his body whilst you continued to bounce up and down on his cock. Your nails clawed at his back as you felt his length churning up your insides, giving you adoring smooches deep inside while he held you close.

“Fuck- I-I need a bit of a push baby~ Mind if I take the lead?~” He asked, a little chuckle leaving after while he looked down at you love-filled eyes. “M-Mhmm~” You nodded to him and relaxed against his embrace, your answer allowing his hands to slowly lower your body back down onto the bed before he’d lift your legs up.

He sits himself up and smiles to you before he began to move his hips, his thrusts all deep and sharp as he smooched your g-spot deeply. The sound of his cock going inside of your pussy repeatedly only made your body grow hotter while he’d watch your face contort in pleasure. You let out moans of ecstasy to him while he fucked your pussy, his grip on your thighs growing tight while he moans out and throws his head back in pleasure.

“S-So good~ Your pussy will always be so good to me baby~” He moans out to you, his teeth clenching a bit as his body began to grow a bit sticky with sweat. A bit of warm tears began to brew at your eyes as you moan out for him, your body rocking with his thrusts alongside his bed that he shared with you.

“God you’re too perfect~ I-I don’t w-want you to leave me~ D-Don’t leave me~ God, please don’t go baby!~” He gasps out into your ear, his brows furrowing as he professed his adoration to you. His thrusts did begin to grow harder and the bed was practically rocking from how fast and hard he was going inside of you. All you could do was moan and whine out for him while he fed you full with his love for you.

You could just from his eyes that he was genuine and that he needed you.

The feeling of him pushing your legs higher causes you to lift your head while you watch him slowly push his body higher up against yours.

“Hah~ I-I’m sorry baby~ I-I want more of you!~ I need more of you!~”

He wraps his arm underneath your body while hand stayed at one of your thighs, his larger body enveloping your smaller frame while you whined and took his cock deep inside of your pussy.

God his fucking was making your mind melt at this point. You didn’t know if you liked his body in contact against yours and his thrusts deep inside of you even more.

His face was buried within your neck, his cracked and slightly scarred lips pressing smooches against your cold skin and making you mewl out.

“Stay with me~ Stay with me baby~” He whines to you, his knees digging into the mattress while he concentrates on his strength within his thrusts. You whimpered and wrap your arms around his neck, soft gasps leaving you as you accepted his love with tears running down your face.

“Ahhhn~ O-Ohh~” You bit your bottom lip tight and threw your head back, your moaning now loud as your pussy tightened around Yuji’s length. Yuji smirked against your skin and sighs out before sliding his tongue along the soft yet cold skin of your neck, suckling and leaving little love bites against you to mark you.

“Your moans, just as pretty as they always were~” He sighs out, his hand cupping your sticky tear-soaked face while you stared into his eyes. He presses his lips against yours and sighs out, his cock twitching within your walls which indicated that he was rather close to his orgasm. Your fingers clawed at his back as you threw your head back as your toes curled in delight.

“You’re close aren’t you?~ P-Please~ Cum on my dick for me baby~”

You whined out in response and gripped tightly at his shirt, your body now yearning to twist beneath his out of pleasure. “MMH~ M-MMGH!~ You breathed heavily before gasping out loudly to him, holding him close while your pussy finally gushes around his thick length. He could see your eyes rolling up in ecstasy while your body shuddered beneath his, the feeling of your sticky essence coating his cock making his body tremble against yours while it grew so hot.

The feeling of his cock twitching within your pussy makes you shudder while you whine out at his continuous thrusts pumping into your pussy.

Yuji’s thrusts began to grow a little sloppy and unrhythmic as he chased after his high with your body, his eyes staring down at your fucked-out face which made him more aroused in return. “Fuck- Fuck~ Mmh!~” He gasps out before holding his body still against yours, a heavy groan leaving his lips as his cock finally releases his seed deep inside of you.

You mewl out at the warmth of his seed filling you up while he breathes heavily against you, his body lying onto its side while he kept you close against him and yet still connected with him. You mewl out shakily and rest your body against him, your orgasm strong and yet extremely relieving as you rested there with him.

Yuji smiled to you before giving you a deep kiss, his fingers playing behind your ears while you hum out to him soothing your body. You pulled away from his lips and sigh out before slowly sitting up from him, making his face shift as if he didn’t want you to leave just yet…

You rubbed your eyes and turned to Yuji as you felt him waffle his hand with one of yours before pressing a kiss to it.

“Please- S-Stay in bed with me. I don’t wanna be alone…not right now.” He begged to you, his arms keeping you close while you smiled to him in response. You nodded and snuggled yourself deep into his warm embrace, a yawn leaving you and him while he smiles and stared down at your adorable little face.

“I love you…I miss you..” He whispers to you, a yawn leaving him as he inhales deeply and gives you another kiss. You hun out in response and nuzzle your face deep within his neck, basking in his warmth while his body began to prepare itself for rest.

“I love you too…Yuji.”

[chappellrroan]

i am feeling emotions

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[yuridovewing]

Remember when people would make fun of Russetfur’s death and get angry at ShadowClan for being horrified and upset at Lionblaze for killing her, saying “lol she was old anyways, its not that big of a deal, they’re so annoying for hating Lionblaze, she shouldn’t have even been fighting.” Even though ThunderClan provoked that battle on ShadowClan’s own land and she’s the deputy so naturally everyone’s gonna be outraged and upset at him and ThunderClan

That was weird.

[biteyourbetters]

i've been. doing lots of new things recently. am i finally getting over the stagnation period of my life.

[yelloworangesoda]

maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister

[suguann]

FUCK IT, I WANT YOU—JJK MEN. * ˚ ✦

✎. jjk men who are infatuated with you. | wc. 2.4k+

tags. fem!reader, bsf sister, cockwarming, slightly rough sex, best friends to lovers, exhibitionism, breast f*cking, domestic nanami, pet names, praise, mild dark content, dubcon, stepcest, stuckage

featuring. gojo, higuruma, nanami, geto, sukuna

an. banner is from hare kon okawari | masterlist

↬ GOJO

He shouldn’t even entertain the thought of wanting you—somewhere in the world, there’s a book of rules that says you shouldn’t develop a crush on your best friend’s little sister. 

It doesn’t stop him from letting you talk him into shopping (as if he’d ever tell you no) and watching you try on tiny, flowy sundresses that make his jaw ache, how he’s just on the side of too-weak for those low-scooped tops you’re always wearing whenever he’s at your house. 

At first, Gojo wonders if you do it on purpose—the bashful smiles and bumping shoulders if he’s close by—but you’re painfully shy for that to be the case. It’s why a smirk tugs at his mouth after leaving love bites across your chest when he finally gets you alone in his room so that he might see the adorable little face you make as you try to cover them up afterward. 

He has you perched in his lap on the bed with an arm wrapped around your waist to keep you rooted on his cock buried deep inside the hot-wet heat between your legs. His mouth sucks marks into your skin wherever he can reach, deep groans rumbling in his chest every time your pussy clenches down on him—a sweet reminder that he hasn’t let you move for a while.

“Toru, not there,” you squeak, fingers knotting in the hair at his nape to gently pull him away. “People will see.” 

But he doesn’t listen as he rolls a nipple between his fingers, mesmerized by the sight of it pebbling into a tight peak—your thighs shaking around him when he pinches too hard.

“So fucking pretty,” he growls, biting his lip as he finally looks up at you. “Just let me play with them a bit more, and then I’ll fuck you. I promise.”

A white lie, but he’s done and said worse, and this isn’t that. This is him savoring a victory he never knew he had until you fluttered those long lashes and asked for a kiss.

You’re gasping and writhing, unable to do anything except sit there while he overstimulates you with his mouth and fingers. When he finally rolls you over onto your back, you’ve already cum twice, but that doesn’t stop him, greedy hips churning against yours and stealing another.

He sucks a nipple into his mouth, loving how you quiver underneath him, your soft socks slipping where they try to rest around his waist. “You’re so sensitive, huh, baby?” he rasps, nosing the soft swell of your breast as he crowds you underneath him. 

You mewl out a broken version of his name, hot pants against his neck that make you sound so desperate—not really answering him as your nails bite into his shoulders—and he can’t get over the way you look right now, how you sound. He’ll never be able to go back to pretending that you’re Geto’s annoying little sister (as if he ever thought you were) as Gojo watches drool trail from the side of your mouth from how good he’s fucking you. 

“Do you know how filthy you look right now?” he grits between his teeth. “Been thinking about this for so long—fuck—can’t believe I finally get to have you.”

↬ HIGURUMA

It’s an accident the first time it happens. 

You’re at the beach, playing with him in the water, when a wave hits you and washes your bikini top away. You squeal, and because he’s your best friend and has always looked out for you, he doesn’t realize right away he used his hands to shield your bare breasts from everyone else on the beach—eyes round when Higuruma does.

It’s innocent—his intent—yet alarm bells are ringing in his ears.

He expects you to shove him away—you don’t. Instead, you give him a sweet smile with a soft, muttered thank you and let him carry you back to the towels. 

He’s still reeling at how you fit perfectly in his palms, skin against skin in a way he’s only ever shamefully imagined alone with his fist around his dick. It has him shifting his trunks uncomfortably, and he wants—no, needs (a definite need) more.

Higuruma spreads you out on your towel under the canopy of the large beach umbrella, the shirt he gave you pushed up and held out of the way under your chin as you watch him. His shoulders block out anybody from really seeing how he’s teasing your nipples into his mouth—your fingers digging into the hair at his nape to keep him there. 

He never thought he’d get this far after years of watching you dance around the periphery of his life without ever really being his. How seeing you like this—whimpering his name under your breath, eyelashes fluttering against the tops of your cheeks, and grinding onto his thigh pressed up between yours—only ever existed in a fantasy or two. 

There’s nothing to do but watch as the lines of an eight-year friendship crumble into the sand with your soft squeaks of more, and his low groans fuck, and he can’t bring himself to feel anything other than a small flame doused in kerosene. 

If this is the sacrifice for holding you and whispering sweet nothings into your sweat-slick skin, he’ll gladly burn.

He’d keep you like this forever if he could, and the way you look at him, pleading with your eyes, makes him think you’d let him if he asked (or maybe he wouldn’t have to).

He releases your nipple and smiles when your shirt falls from your teeth with a whine, your foot stomping against the towel in a way that’s too fucking cute.

“Why’d you stop?”

All the blood and heat in his body rush to his dick at how needy you sound—for him, all for him—and his breath fans across your spit-slick skin shakily, pent up and overflowing with nerves he’s held onto for as long as he can remember. “Sweetheart, you have to be quiet.”

You nod eagerly, your grip tightening in his hair to bring him back towards you. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be quiet. Just please don’t stop.”

Never. 

When your leg brushes the tent in his trunks, it feels like his eyes roll into the back of his head from the contact. He greedily takes your tight, sensitive peak back into his mouth again—hardly paying attention to the wanton moans you fail to suppress as you continue grinding onto his thigh.

↬ NANAMI

Nanami stares at you more often than usual after you have his son—at how your chest fills out every top you wear, and your hips become the perfect place for his hands—a strange new obsession that develops overnight without a manual or an off switch.

One day, you’re his beautiful wife. The next, you’re his beautiful wife holding his baby, and suddenly, he’s seeing the world through a clear lens, and he can’t stop looking.

His hands are always on you just to curb the constant ache that never really fades, brushing hair out of your face, massaging your lower back, shamelessly letting them wander too close to the underside of your breasts whenever he can. Sometimes, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, and sometimes it’s all he can think to do.

Some days, after a stressful work day, he’ll lay atop your chest and pepper kisses against whatever skin he can reach, wandering, eager hands getting their fill until he falls asleep. On other days, he stays up long enough—baby tucked away in his crib and the monitor softly humming on the coffee table—to peel your clothes out of the way to get the full picture.

“Just like that, darling,” he groans, watching where you’re kneeled between his legs, unable to take his eyes off the way his leaky tip peeks out from between your soft, bare breasts. 

You stick out your tongue to lick away the pearl of white drooling out of his slit, only to spit it back onto his cock to help aid your up and down movements. It has him throbbing at how messy it is, liquid-hot heat pooling in his stomach at how good it feels. He knows he’s not going to last much longer, and he’s torn on whether or not to stop you or let you keep going.

“How does it feel?” you peer up at him through long lashes like you don’t already know what you’re doing to him.

“‘Good, darling. So fucking good—fuck, keep going—pretty little wife on her knees for me,” he curses, hips shuddering when he thrusts up, watching his length disappear and reappear again and again.

The delicate smile that adorns your lips makes his heart flutter, and balls draw up to his body. “Yeah? You gonna cum, Kento?”

“I don’t—I, fuck, yes.” He’d much rather finish with his face buried in your tits, but he’s already too far gone to pull away, to shove you down onto the couch.

You hum softly. “I want you to cum on me. Please.”

That’s his final undoing, groaning at the thought of him marking those cute tits that take up his every spare thought, cumming unexpectedly in a rush of white-hot pleasure before he can stop it. His cock jerks until viscous streaks of white paint your chest, and it makes everything sticky and sloppy, sending a weak burst of liquid pleasure rushing up his spine before he slumps against the couch with a satisfied sigh. 

↬ GETO

He loves it when you’re like this. Soft and pliant beneath him, eyelashes spiked with tears.

He doesn’t know where to look—can’t decide between the smattering of possessive marks littering the inside of your thighs or the ones that travel across your chest. 

A decision easily made for him when he presses the tip of his sensitive cock back into your fluttering cunt, unable to tear his eyes away from how your breasts bounce with every one of his harsh, desperate thrusts. His thumb smooths over a peaked nipple—bitten raw and pinched tight—and he curses under his breath at the feel of you clenching on him like a vice.

You tell him how good he feels under a hitched breath, and his chest tightens because he can’t remember the last time someone used an adjective like that to describe him. Good. It’s weird how such a simple word can make Geto’s head spin and make him feel like anything other than the man he is outside your bed.

He ducks his head down to suck another little bruise right above your nipple, the corners of his mouth curling slightly, knowing that he’ll be the only one that’ll know it exists. 

“Prettiest fucking girl I know,” he breathes harshly, already close. “I wish you could see how perfect you look.”

Geto slips his fingers between you, playing over the tiny, sensitive bud at the peak of your thighs.

“Oh.” A soft sigh.

“Maybe I should take a picture, huh? Would you let me? So I can look at you like this,” —he thrusts deep, making sure you’ll be able to feel him afterward— “all damn day, every fucking day.”

And like a tightrope snapping loose, you fall apart around him, practically choking his cock, and he fills up your cunt for the second time that night.

↬ SUKUNA

You're cleaning the apartment you share with your step-brother until it's spotless because the guy you’ve kind of had a crush on since the start of the semester is coming over today to study, and the butterflies in your belly tell you today is the day he’s finally going to ask you out. 

What you don’t anticipate—between throwing away Sukuna’s collection of energy drinks on the coffee table and doing a load of laundry—is the possibility of getting stuck in the too-small dryer while reaching for a sock or that your brother would be the one to find you bent over with your shorts riding up your legs.

You suppress a groan at the sound of Sukuna's patronizing voice behind you. "What do we have here?"

"Don't just stand there, idiot," you hiss. "Help me."

He chuckles in that mean, condescending way that always sets your teeth on edge. "You're really bossy for someone with their ass hanging out of a dryer. Maybe I should leave you here and wait for Mick—”

“His name’s Mitch—”

“—to find you."

"No!" you say almost too loudly, wincing as your voice echoes around the dryer. With a small sigh, your head hanging, you add, "Please help me."

"That's better." 

It's quiet for a moment, and you start fidgeting again to free yourself until you feel a pair of large hands palming your hips, and you can't stop the squeak that escapes the back of your throat—not expecting the terrible-hot-wrongness of it to feel so good.

A feeling stirs in your belly that you’d tucked away long ago, and only returning to under the safety of the baby blue twinkle string lights in your room—hand in your sleep shorts and teeth digging an imprint into the palm of your hand to hold back the name you only chant in your head.

“You’re s-supposed to be helping,” your voice wavers, dizzy with what’s transpiring in that cramped laundry room.

He huffs a soft laugh behind you, pressing a kiss to the base of your spine where your shirt rode up. “Give me a minute.”

It's embarrassing when you feel wetness pooling in the seat of your underwear, heat rushing from the roots of your hair and down to your toes when his hands travel over the swell of your ass in your tiny shorts. 

You're almost compelled to tell him you’ll get out on your own because it’s the right thing to do—to put a stop to something that shouldn’t happen except in cheap porn. Then his hand comes down against your backside, hard, and every single thought in your head scrambles like an egg on hot pavement.

You whimper, the force of his slap jolting you further into the dryer, sweaty hands scrambling against the metal walls to keep your face from crashing into it.

"Fuck, I've always wanted to do that,” he breathes before tugging the crotch of your shorts and panties out of the way, and you feel something wet and slick drip against your cunt. "Maybe I'll just keep you here for a bit. What do you say, sis?"

His thumb runs along your slit and presses inside you.

“Ah. W-wai—”

“Shh. Just—fuck, so fucking tight—just let me enjoy this pussy, huh?” And quieter, “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

You shiver and swallow around the words threatening to escape: me, too.

[kiyinian]

Part one

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

Ex-husband Simon who: Didn't leave your side when you said you were pregnant, who went to see you every day, even if those visits were after his work, in the middle of the night.

Ex-husband Simon who: Made video calls to you when he couldn't show up at your house, talking to you and the children, asking you multiple times if you were okay. Most of the time he listened to you talk about your day, he listened until you fell asleep on the other side, and he watched you sleep for a while. When he saw that you were safe and well, he would whisper goodnight and I love you, hoping that you would somehow hear it.

Ex-husband Simon who: Always found a way to go to all your appointments, just as he had done with your other times when you were pregnant. Every month he would go with you for a check-up, he could even play the tough guy, but he couldn't hold back the tear that formed in the corner of his eye when he heard the little ones' heartbeat. His own flesh and blood.

Ex-husband Simon who: Cried his heart out when he found out he was going to be the father of two girls, feeling nervous at the same time. At the ultrasound, he held your hand so tightly, his other hand stroking your hair as you watched your girls. He couldn't have been happier, and even happier that you were carrying his children once again.

Ex-husband Simon who: Almost committed a traffic accident when one of your kids called him, the little one saying that you weren't feeling well. He drove as fast as he could to your house, his hands shaking as he went to look for you. It was even worse when he found you pale, almost falling to the ground, probably a drop in your pressure. But it was enough to keep him up all night.

Ex-husband Simon who: Wouldn't take no for an answer when you told him he didn't need to move in with you, that you could manage on your own. But how? A whole house to look after, children, pregnancy. No, it was too much. You didn't have to deal with it on your own when he was around. So despite your protests, the next day he showed up with his suitcases, ready to move in with you once again.

Ex-husband Simon who: Did everything in the house, he didn't let you lift a single weight, he didn't even allow you to spend much time walking back and forth. You were pregnant, getting bigger and bigger, all you had to do was relax. The rest he did without complaint. Although he did burn the food, most of the time.

Ex-husband Simon who: Never ignored your cravings, no matter if it was late at night, or early in the morning, he would buy you whatever you asked of him. Even if it meant going out in the middle of the night to buy some random flavor of ice cream, he didn't care, as long as he could see you satisfied.

Ex-husband Simon who: Bought all the baby's utensils together with you, from the crib to the clothes, bottles, pacifiers, whatever you wanted to buy, he would go with you, and pay for everything, of course. Always buying toys for your other children, too. And he'd always buy whatever you wanted or needed, he'd never forget you.

Ex-husband Simon who: Surprised you by preparing the babies' nursery with everything you had bought, he renovated an entire room to make it fit for the arrival of the girls, and he also made some changes to the little ones' room, giving it to them as a gift.

Ex-husband Simon who: Watched you every night, waiting for you to fall asleep, keeping a watchful eye in case you needed something, anything. He was willing to help you with simple things, even if you needed help going to the toilet, if you had a craving, he was there for you. Once he saw you already asleep, curled up in the sheets, cuddled up with your comforter, he would go over to you and give you a kiss on the forehead, whispering I love you, and silently praying that you would respond with an 'I do too'.

Ex-husband Simon who: Agreed to spend the whole night by your side, comforting you after you had a terrible nightmare involving the children. He lay next to you as you asked, gently wrapping his arms around you and hugging you, kissing you on the cheek and calming you down.

Ex-husband Simon who: Felt his heart skip a beat when you told him you loved him and needed him, and that you wanted him to move back in with you and the children permanently. You didn't have to ask him twice, because he was absolutely sure that he would come back to you whenever you wanted him to.

Ex-husband Simon who: Couldn't contain the urge to kiss you, to touch you, just hearing you say you loved him, was enough to ignite a hot flame in him. In a matter of seconds he had his hands all over you, once again claiming what was surely his.

Ex-husband Simon who: Slowly pushed you to the side, spooning you from behind, his lips on your neck as he slowly entered you, pampering you with little kisses here and there. He made love to you so gently, in such a loving way, thrusting into you nice and deep, just the way you liked it. He'd be fucked if he didn't make this night with you count, he did everything the way you loved it, just to hear you begging him for more and more. He wasn't going to let you out of his arms that night.

Ex-husband Simon who: Woke up before you, ready to make breakfast for you and the children, but all his plans went up in smoke when he heard you give a little gasp, whispering that your water broke. He panicked.

Ex-husband Simon who: Knew it was your third pregnancy, but he couldn't control the adrenaline when you went into labor, it was always like the first time. He didn't waste much time and took you to the hospital, praying to whatever God up there that everything would work out.

Ex-husband Simon who: Stayed by your side throughout your labor, holding your hand while whispering sweet words in your ear, he didn't care how hard you were squeezing his hand, it even hurt, but he wanted to do the best he could to help you. It was desperate that he couldn't do anything for you, but his ears focused on the sound of crying that echoed through the hospital room, the first girl had come out, healthy and well. After some more time, thank God, the other little one came out healthy too.

Ex-husband Simon who: Cried inconsolably while holding one of the girls in his arms, rocking her while looking at her with all the tenderness in the world. She was so beautiful, so reminiscent of you. His heart beat so fast as he saw one of his little girls, his little daughter. Just as he didn't leave your side, watching you breastfeed the other little one. He tried to stop himself from crying even more at the sight.

Ex-husband Simon who: He won't leave your side, ever, not even if you asked him to. Especially now that your family was even bigger, he knew the responsibility that would come with two small children, but he also knew that every night awake would be worth it. Just as he wouldn't give up until he put a ring on your finger once again.

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Prompt #6

Phantom is sitting at the Batcomputer, kicking his legs back and forth. With the seat last set for Batman's height, his feet barely skim the ground. He's propped his head up with one hand, examining something he is holding between his thumb and forefinger in the other.

He is very casual for someone who has never been told the location of the Batcave.

"Phantom," Batman grunts. Phantom doesn't glance his way, likely having heard the Batmobile pulling in.

"Hi Bruce," he says. "I had a nightmare last night."

It's important to note that The Justice League does not know Phantom's true age, although there are several theories:

Theory One: he is a ghost dating back to several thousand BCE. The proof of this is sparse but present, through written record of beings with white hair and green eyes and uncanny likenesses found in artifacts proven to be authentic. Could these truly be Phantom? Yes. However, there is

Theory Two: he is a teenager, as his visual presence suggests. This could be true even if his existence is thousands of years old, as his mentality might not have advanced beyond that of a child aged fourteen to sixteen when they died. This is supported by his general behavior and advanced knowledge of memes. The few times he and Red Robin have interacted, Bruce did not understand a word of it without extensive googling. But worse, of course, there is

Theory Three: Phantom is the age of his first recorded appearance in modern times, only a few years ago. Phantom's recorded appearances in the past were sparse compared to his consistent existence in this century, which could hint at a timestream accident similar to Bruce's own, if they are real. And ultimately, this would not be the first time a two year old presented as a teenager in form.

Two out of three options propose Phantom is a child, and so Batman's tone is gentle when he says,

"Did you?"

"Yeah," Phantom says, words almost a sigh. Whatever is in his hand catches in the lamp light, shining green.

It's kryptonite. Phantom is holding a shard of kryptonite.

"Sorry." Phantom twirls his chair around to face Bruce. He holds the shard out in his palm. "I called you Bruce, didn't I? I know you hadn't told me yet."

"That's okay," Bruce says. He takes the shard calmly, his suit's layered biometrics disguising the fact his heart is racing. He recognizes this chunk from his stores, kept in the secure, deepest, impenetrable section of the cave coded to his DNA alone.

He's been aware Phantom's powers include invisibility and intangibility, but the ghost has been benevolent, honorable, and heroic since introduced and he had allowed his guard to slip. All it would've taken is being tailed one time, and now he must rely on that benevolence.

"And I'm sorry about that," Phantom says, nodding at the belt Batman has tucked the kryptonite inside. It will do nothing to stop Phantom should he decide to pluck it away again, but kept out of sight in a lead-lined pouch still feels safer than out in the open.

"I needed to make a point." Phantom says. The words are threatening but his tone is not.

"Oh?" Bruce asks, wary nonetheless.

"I'm really strong," Phantom says. "I can walk through walls. I can disappear. I can fly. I can blast and freeze stuff. I don't need to breathe. Traditional weapons don't really work on me."

"I can duplicate," a voice says from behind Bruce. He whirls around, batarang in hand, to see another Phantom rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "That duplicate will have all the same powers," the doppelganger says, apologetically. He floats back over to the Phantom sitting on the chair and the two merge.

"I have bad powers too, ones I don't like to use. I can scream at things until they fall apart, even buildings. I can...I can possess people, and make them do things," he admits, unable to look Batman in the eye. "It's not that all ghosts are like this, pretty much all of them aren't, it's just that I'm one of the stronger ones, and I'm only going to get stronger, and the stronger I get, the more powers I might get, and the less weapons even made especially to fight ghosts will work on me."

None of this is phrased as a threat, but rather a confession.

"Why are you telling me this?" Batman asks.

"I had a nightmare," Phantom repeats weakly. He reaches under the computer table and pulls out a purple JanSport backpack, cotton dirty and frayed with use. He unzips the front pocket and pulls out a small plastic baggy. He offers the baggy to Batman, his hand shaking.

Batman takes the baggy, examining the contents. Inside are six tiny little dots. They look like poppy seeds, but held up to the light are a deep purple in color.

"Phantom, what are these?"

"Hemo Prunus," Danny says, eyes stuck on the baggy. He's paler than usual. "Colloquially: blood blossoms. At the time they were grown it was believed they required drops of blood to grow, but a friend of mine who likes plants thinks it's more likely they actually just like a higher quantity of iron in their soil. You know, truths found in witch's tales and stuff like that. I don't know much about their care beyond that but I do know they were grown previously in Salem in the late 1600s, early 1700s during their summer seasons with some amount of success so perhaps you can mimic that environment and go from there. From what I've gathered they're incredibly difficult to grow, but I figure if anyone can do it it's you."

"I'm not exactly the gardening type," Batman says dryly.

Phantom laughs faintly. He looks like he's about to pass out, which should be impossible and is not the correct reaction to gifting someone a rare piece of flora.

"Phantom," Batman says again, slowly. "What are these?"

"They're my kryptonite."

Bruce closes his fist over the bag immediately, taking several steps back to put distance between himself and Phantom. "Are you alright?" he asks sharply.

"I'm fine," Phantom says, waving a hand. "As seeds they just sting a little, like nettles."

That's not the reaction of someone being lightly stung, Bruce thinks. Phantom looks like he needs the chair he's sitting in just to stay upright.

Then the rest of his words click together.

"You're giving me these," Bruce says.

"Yes," Phantom says. "For safekeeping."

"To grow."

Phantom's smile fades. "For safekeeping," he says, looking at Bruce's belt. Where he has stored the kryptonite.

The enormity of what Phantom is entrusting him with hits Bruce like a ton of bricks, and he finally realizes that Phantom is not sick but terrified. He is quietly, deeply, terrified. Bruce also realizes that a reaction like that is not born out of fear of the unknown but is the reaction of someone who has felt the sting of the bee and felt their throat close up. At some point Phantom has felt the blood blossom flower, and the sheer memory of it is enough to make the ghost go almost catatonic with terror.

And he has still handed over the one weapon that can hurt him to the Batman, and told him all he knows on how to make more.

I had a nightmare.

"Is this all of it?" Bruce asks, the question coming out brusquer than intended. Phantom blinks.

"Yes, I'm sorry, that's all I could--yes that's all," he stammers.

Bruce shakes his head. "I mean, does anyone else have access to it? Is anyone else growing this that we should be aware of?"

Phantom can't mask a sudden shudder, his reactions always woefully transparent (pun not intended). "No, that's the last of it. No. No. I don't think," his eyes grow wider, "I don't think so," he whispers, to himself, an attempt at comfort.

Way to go, Bruce, a familiar voice whispers, you just scared the kid harder. Bruce drops the packet on a table beside him and strides forward to put a firm hand on Phantom's shoulder.

"I'll make sure of it," he says. He'll pull Kal in and together they'll make sure, the same way they raided every GiW base across the United States four months prior. Phantom looks up at him the same way he did then, with complete and utter trust.

"Thank you," he says quietly. "But if you do...if you do find any more, promise me you won't destroy it. Promise me you'll keep it, the same way you keep the kryptonite. Please, Bruce."

He's not just asking him to keep it. Another weight finds its place, settling on the Bat's shoulders like the cape he wears. Another contingency for a hero he fears will one day be a dear friend.

"I promise, Phantom."

"Danny," Phantom says, "My name is Danny. A name for a name, right?"

"Danny," Bruce says, heart growing ever heavier. "I promise."