#and while the Hallmark movie solution was for it to be a surprise

[direbeastrex]

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

The hot tub | Rafe Cameron x Reader

Advent calendar day three: Ski trip

Summary: Rafe invites you to spend the week with his family at their cabin in Aspen. Things may happen when you get in the hot tub after a long day going down the slopes

Warnings: 18+, unprotected p + v, slight choking, semi-public (outside), impact play (spanking once)

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

As expected, the Cameron’s cabin in Aspen was breath-takingly beautiful. The walls of the living area were made of round wood, making it seem like you were living inside a tree…with a luxury decor. There were large windows, massive couches, cherry-wood tables, and a classic bear skin in front of the large fireplace. 

You felt like you were standing in a holiday Hallmark movie. 

‘’How many properties does your parents own?’’ You brushed your hand over the plush throw at the end of your and Rafe’s bed, smiling at how soft it felt. ‘’Don’t they have a house in the Bahamas?’’ 

‘’A lot,’’ Rafe replied while putting away some things in the closet. ‘’I lost count, honestly. My dad collects estates and Rose decorates them, it’s their thing,’’ he explained. ‘’I rent the ones we are not using...except the Bahamas house. We keep that one for family only.’’

You nodded, secretly wishing your parents were that rich. You could get used to vacationing in the mountains during winter break. It’s a weather contrast compared to South Carolina. 

‘’Do you come here often? Have you mastered a winter sports during your lavish vacations?’’ 

Rafe chuckled, closing the door of the large closet. ‘’I can’t ski, if that’s what you’re asking me. Or skate. Ice skating is Sarah’s thing.’’ He grabbed his toiletry bag from the suitcase and placed it in the en-suite bathroom next to yours. ‘’My dad forced me to take snowboarding lessons since I was a kid, but I was better at flirting with girls at the ski resort.’’

Shaking your head, you laughed quietly. ‘’What am I not surprised?’’ 

After everyone had unpacked, you bundled in your winter layers and headed down to the ski resort for some winter activities. You and Rafe rented equipment to go down the slopes while Sarah and Wheezie went to the skating rink. 

The afternoon was spent mostly falling on your ass and watching Rafe showing off. He was no professional, but you were impressed as you watched him do stunts — something you could never see yourself doing. 

When the sky started to go dark, you returned to the cabin to warm up and eat dinner. Rose’s cooking skills pleasantly took you by surprise, not expecting her to be much of a chef since she and Ward had a lot of money, but she made a mean baked mac’n cheese. 

‘’Are you sure?’’ you said when Rafe suggested you try the hot tub. 

You had never used a hot tub in the winter — with actual snow around. It sounded cold, but Rafe assured you the warm water would keep you warm…or else he would.

The sky was fully dark outside and snow was falling at a slow pace, creating a beautiful picture as you stepped out in your bra and underwear. When you packed for a trip to Aspen, you didn’t think you would need a bikini. Now you were regretting not bringing one. 

While the warm water sounded pleasant, you couldn’t help but think about how the chlorine of the hot tub will ruin your nice bra, so Rafe came up with a solution.

‘’Just take it off.’’ 

‘’I’m not gonna get naked in the hot tub,’’ you replied, shooting your boyfriend a glare as steam rose from the tub into the cool air. ‘’What if your family comes outside and wants to join?’’ 

‘’I’d rather they don’t. The sight of you in that bra and panties got me so hard,’’ Rafe said, his hand wandering up your thigh. 

You glanced down and through the bubbles of the underwater jets, catching the outline of his cock through his boxers, strained against the material. A light flush covered your cheeks, matching the color of your bra. 

‘’But if you’re that worried about anyone coming,’’ he continued, taking your hand and helping you step in. ‘’My dad strained his back when skiing so Rose is taking care of him. Sarah is probably trying to contact her boyfriend who was not invited on the trip, and as for Wheezie…I don’t know. She’s in her room, reading or watching a movie.’’

You sat on the edge and raised your gaze, eyeing the sliding doors. 

‘’No one is gonna come out here,’’ Rafe promised, reading your persistent worry. ‘’Except maybe a bear.’’

A new fear was unlocked. You turned to the other side and looked over the deck and into the dark forest. ‘’A bear?!’’ 

Rafe grinned, messing with you. ‘’I’m joking. There’s no bears here at this time of the year. They’re hibernating.’’ He hooked a finger underneath the delicate band of your panties, holding back from taking them off with his mouth. ‘’So…will it be with or without the panties?’’

Fuck it. 

You removed both items and let Rafe pull you in the water, the ripples from the jets causing sparks to tingle up your spine as they hit your bare cunt. It felt like using a nice shower head directly on your clit, but less strong. The pleasure was short-lived as Rafe settled you on his lap in a straddling way, a groan leaving his throat when your ass came in contact with his stiff cock. 

You bit back a giggle and loosely slid your arms around his neck. He was so beautiful.

‘’That wasn’t so difficult, wasn’t it?’’ Rafe asked, his hands sliding over your thighs and up your sides, making you feel a bit exposed. 

You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands up and down his well-defined shoulders and chest, appreciating the time he had been spending with Topper and Kelce at the gym. They were always ruining your and Rafe’s plans, but those gym sessions gave him a body you wanted to bite into. 

You lowered your mouth to his, slowly kissing as the water moved around your bodies. The cold air had caused your nipples to peak, not yet submerged in the warm water. A shiver ran through you and, as if he had read your mind, Rafe’s hands moved to your breasts and began to toy with them. You sighed at the touch and ground your hips against his, relishing the feeling of his hard cock through his boxers as it rubbed against your clit just right. 

‘’I need you. Now,’’ you urged, breaking the kiss and reaching under the water to pull at Rafe's only piece of clothing, your earlier worries about someone catching you naked leaving your desire clouded mind.

Rafe nodded and pushed you off him, which left you confused. You opened your mouth to ask why he had pushed you off, but he motioned for you to turn around and grab the edge of the tub. A moan threatened to slip, realizing what he was doing. He was going to take you from behind. 

You heard the water swish as he moved behind you, and parted your legs so everything was exposed to his view. 

‘’That ass is so perfect,’’ Rafe groaned, giving it a hard smack, eliciting a pained squeak from you, before lining himself at your entrance, a mischievous smirk spreading on his face as he pushed the tip in — only the tip. ‘’Is that what you want, baby?’’ His tone was teasing, playing with you. ‘’No, that’s not enough, uh?’’ 

You whined, pushing back against him. ‘’Please, Rafe, don’t tease.’’ 

Giving in to your demand, he grabbed your hips and slowly pushed until he was all in, feeling your tight walls squeeze him. He moaned at the sensation, giving you a few seconds before starting to pull out until only his tip was inside you and slowly pushing himself into you again, doing this a few times. 

‘’Rafe,’’ you warned again, your core starting to ache, just wanting to be fucked senseless. 

Then, his thrusts were hard and fast as you gripped the edge of the hot tub, water splashing over the edge from the movements. You were holding back your cries, trying to be quiet, but the pleasure was too intense for you to remember. 

Rafe molded his front to your back as he kept pounding into you, kissing your shoulder as his hand was coming around your neck. ‘’You like this, baby? You like when I fuck your tight and pretty pussy?’’

You moaned louder, forgetting about the other Camerons inside the house. 

The next morning was going to be very awkward.

—

OBX taglist: @moralina @eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx  @sweeterheartxamerica  @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski @lilaconner @Katsukis1Wife  @hawkegfs @mommyruuetrue  @acornacreacure @snownjune @nmedina8611 @slvtherinseeker  @slvtherinseeker @poppet05 @1stevelacyfan @illf4iry @withbeautyandrage  @maybankslover @sunflowerziva @laylasbunbunny @Honey-marvel15 @leoluvsur-pappy @slytherhoes @kcskye123 @outerbanksacc  @pedrosprincess  @mikaelsonsstuff  @skyesthebomb  @a1mzcruml3y @iluurmom  @popeheywardssecretgf  @madelynie  @loverofdrewstarkey  @radiant-whore  @outsider-at-hogwarts @luci1fer @bbycowboi @rafecameronsbadussy @urbfsbitchlol @nomorespahgetti @bloodyhw @Veescorneroftheworld  @papayaboyluvr @slytherinambitious @darylscvmdumpster @tommysaxes @johannelis2302nely @lynbubble  @straberryshortcake143 @beth-gallagher22 @doestalker @rubyliquor @theflcwer @angelxxrose @sierraluvzz @cruzgrecia @evelestrange @sunnysunny133696

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi  @hallecarey1  @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @grxnde-dwt @lexasaurs634 @teeeree13 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @teeeree13 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis @Shasta89 @sierraluvz @specialk6802  @CZARINERA @katherinejess

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 10

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

something borrowed by @rosyredlipstick

In the Solace Wedding Planning agenda, on the fifth page into their summer schedule, there are carefully scrawled out notes reading this: Bride and Groom - Hazel Levesque & Frank Zhang Best Man & Maid of Honor - Percy Jackson & Piper McLean Wedding Court - Annabeth Chase & Jason Grace Mellie & Gleeson Hedge Reyna Ramírez-Arellano & Leo Valdez Ring-bearer - Chuck Hedge Flower-boy - Nico di Angelo - Will plans wedding and now, apparently, Nico stars in one. Except...sometimes there's a bit more confusion on that last part. AKA the AU where Will plans weddings and thinks Hazel and Frank are going to have to cutest, gap-toothed ten year throwing flowers down the aisle, all while wondering why this 'Neeks' guy is always hanging around, and what business he has looking that good.

yes i am back on my rosyredlipstick (dude she's GOOD okay). however this one is my favourite i think. this is the kinda story you could use to explain to people what dramatic irony is bc LORD i wanted to SHAKE THEM 😭😭 will falling like deeply in love with nico and being intensely stressed about everything the whole time is so real and on brand. i love him and i love the fond exasperation that just bleeds from this fic its GREAT

2. Rental Love by @rosyredlipstick

*Read Terms & Conditions - Male/22/Long Island N.Y.C. Tired of showing up stag at holiday events? Want your family to stop thinking there’s something wrong with you? Just want some arm candy for a work event? Look no further. Your solution is here! I will attend holiday events with you as your paid date. Accepting all genders as applicants. Email solace.w@fastmail.com if interested. Interview & application will be set up there. - Nico di Angelo has been telling Hazel Levesque about his boyfriend for weeks. The bad part? Nico doesn’t have a boyfriend, the holidays are coming up, and not all of Jason’s ideas are horrible. They’re all a bit surprised about the last one.

THE LEVEL OF STUPID THAT THEY ARE...😭😭 kills me fr. like this whole fic is just a manifestation of truly one of the best tropes of all time…..like what if we took a hallmark movie and made it gay as all hell. iconique indeed

3. A Match in the Making by @coconutcranberries-blog

“You’re a morning person,” Nico muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. He ran a hand through his black hair, which stuck up in disarray, the same way it did every morning. He was a mess, and Will Solace looked annoyingly put together, and Nico didn’t even care, really, he didn’t.

friendship is the core of romance!! it is!! every time!!! and it's such a core in this fic....which is fucking??? ten years old??? im just realising?? jesus christ??? anyways. "Nico had the sudden, warm feeling that Will Solace had never bought his act." i YELLED

4. Perception by scorchedtrees

In which everyone thinks Nico and Will are together.

i love this trope i love it SO BAD. both ways. when your love is so obvious that no one misses it.....love to see it truly. and will can have one second of beingn smooth and not a dweeby loser. as a treat

5. the world is brighter than the sun now that you're here by @finalizer

It was hard, Nico eventually concluded, to maintain one’s air of spooky otherworldly detachment with a blinding ray of sunshine trailing one step behind him every minute of every day.

grouchy nico my beloved truly. honestly hes such a bitch i love him like "Seriously, give the guy a perm and a few cats and he’d be that weird aunt that everybody avoided around the holiday season." why does he ALWAYS have something vile to say 😭😭 hes a mood fr

thank you for joining me this saturday friday!! happy reading!!

[bunnimew]

Like an Acme Anvil

Rating: T Fandom: Rise of the Guardians Relationship: Jack Frost/Pitch Black Tags: Modern AU, Humor, Fluff, Speed Dating, Anime Convention, Rating for Language, MeetCute Summary: For @rotgbingo 2022: Square B1 Speed Dating

Jack was just being nice and filling seats in the speed dating panel his friend was hosting. He never expected to meet anyone he might actually like.

Until...

On AO3 here.

“Hello there,” Jack’s next “date” said as he sat down.

“General Kenobi,” Jack replied automatically. 

The man paused in the middle of sitting down to stare at him, then continued on into the seat. “I walked into a Star Wars reference, I take it?”

Jack pouted. Well, at least he knew what Star Wars was, so this wouldn’t be the worst five minutes of his life. 

Convention life was interesting in the twenty-first century. Fans of science fiction, fantasy, anime, and manga were already predisposed to being less than perfectly straight, but now Jack got to watch the events that catered to them attempt to keep up. 

Speed dating was a cute, stupid panel but that was really all it ever was. Hosts found it hard to get enough people to sign up and almost no one actually hit it off, but it was fun to rotate around and talk to people so on it went, anyway. 

It was quickly decided that with almost no one signing up in the first place, trying to split the panel up into gay, straight, bi, enby, etc wasn’t going to work, so the solution was simple: your name tag had your identity and what you were interested in. If they didn’t match up for a round or five, at least you know from the get-go and your five minutes get to be spent trying to make a new friend, instead. 

Jack glanced over his tag. Pitch. Man. Interested in all. 

Oh nice. Jack hadn’t been misgendering him in his head for the past twenty seconds. That was good to know. 

“A pretty popular one, actually,” Jack said as he held his hand out. “I’m Jack. Nice to meet you.”

“Pitch,” the man replied, taking Jack’s hand in a swift and polite shake. “I have seen the originals.”

Jack leaned his elbows on the table and returned to the same position he’d been in the whole time. Jack’s side of the room wasn’t rotating. Yet. “But not the prequels?”

Pitch visibly winced. “I saw the first.”

“Say no more,” Jack laughed. 

Pitch cracked a smile with him, but he obviously didn’t find that quite as funny as Jack. Instead he switched gears into something more traditionally speed dating: “So what brings you here?”

Jack shrugged and grimaced. “I’m mostly just helping out a friend. You know, filling seats so there’s enough bodies to make the panel work.”

“Oh,” Pitch said, looking just as disappointed as everyone else Jack had told that to tonight. Except the people not interested in men, of course. “So you’re not really here to find someone?”

Jack scratched nervously at the back of his neck. “I mean, I’m single. I’m not averse to dating. I’m just not actively looking, if you know what I mean?”

Pitch hummed, suddenly looking a lot less put out. “I completely understand. The search can be exhausting. Sometimes it’s better to sit back and let destiny handle things for a while.”

Jack laughed again. It sounded nervous even to his own ears. “Something like that. I try not to be too fatalistic, though.” He grinned, feeling a little bit more like himself when he ventured to say, “I like some chaos in my life.”

Pitch barked a surprised laugh and Jack felt his grin widen even more. “So when you say not looking,” Pitch began, leaning forward over the table with one open palm, “what you really mean is waiting for someone to drop on you like an acme anvil.”

Jack snickered at the mental image and found himself nodding even before he’d decided how to respond. “Like in a Hallmark movie. I definitely need to be working too hard and losing touch with my family first, and then they have to annoy me for two acts before I realize I’m in love, at which point I must turn my entire life around over my whirlwind romance that we assume does not end in divorce.”

“Aw shucks,” Pitch said morosely, although he must be kind of shit at acting because Jack could see the smile trying to peek through. 

“What?” Jack asked, aware it was a set up and tripping it anyway. 

“Well, if I’d known I needed to annoy you for two acts,” Pitch explained reasonably, “I had the perfect opportunity to start by insulting Star Wars. What a missed opportunity!”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh, charmed by the flirting even if it wasn’t really that funny. It was cute. Pitch was being cute. Jack liked that, despite himself. 

They were probably mostly through their time already, but Jack decided to turn the tables and give it a shot, anyway. “So what brings you here?”

Pitch pressed the fingers of one hand to his chest. “I’m actually looking for someone,” he said. “I’m tired of being alone.”

Jack felt himself melting against the table, shoulders dropping, elbows sliding, as the raw honesty endeared him to Jack. That was sweet. Maybe a little naive given this was an anime convention speed dating panel and all, but you had to toss a line in the sea if you wanted to catch any fish, so Jack couldn’t really blame him. 

“I want a family,” Pitch continued, clearly serious, but he kept his good humor about him. “Someone I can depend on who isn’t me.”

Jack smiled, feeling soft and warm. “I get that. I wouldn’t trade my family for the world, blood or found. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“I hope so, too,” Pitch said, smiling sweetly back at him. “I hope, sometimes, that I maybe already have.”

Jack’s face grew hot as the very subtle implication settled over him. Oh man, Pitch was smooth as fuck. Jack resisted the urge to cover his face and decided to just brazen it out. 

Just as he opened his mouth to reply, a shout from the front of the room interrupted. “Thirty seconds!”

“Oh shit!” Jack cursed, fumbling his phone out of his pocket. “Do you have Facebook? Instagram? Twitter?”

Pitch rolled his eyes and slid a card, an actual business card, across the table. “How about you just text me? But also yes, I do have twitter.”

Jack bit his lip and tried not to be impressed by the fancy business card as he stuffed it inside his hoodie pocket and turned his phone around for Pitch to search his twitter handle and follow him. Which, upon realizing that’s what Jack was enabling Pitch to do, suddenly regretted everything he had liked within the past twenty-four hours. 

Way to make a first digital impression, Jack. 

It was too late to take it back, though. Pitch was secreting his phone away and the host was getting ready to ring the bell and make his side of the room move. They had mere seconds left. 

And Jack had thought five minutes ago that he wouldn’t even care.

“I’ll text you,” Jack found himself promising. It was all he had. That, or tackling Pitch to the floor as soon as the panel was over to make sure he didn’t get away. Funny how that didn’t seem as unreasonable as Jack thought it should. 

Pitch smiled as he stood. “I look forward to it.”

All or nothing, Jack thought. “Maybe meet up for dinner later?”

Pitch’s smile pulled into a horribly attractive smirk. “Are you asking me on a date?”

Fuck, and Jack’s blush had only just started to cool. He nodded anyway. Like an acme anvil, right? “I guess I am.”

Jack’s next “date” was already waiting to sit down, so Pitch had to leave. “See you then!”

“See you!” Jack called after him.

…Jack cleared his throat and looked at the woman across from him who seemed to already understand that she had no chance at all with Jack now. This was awkward.

But definitely worth it.

Because maybe Pitch had already found his family, after all.

[glassheartjukebox]

under the mistletoe

feat. asahi, nishinoya, kuroo, bokuto,

“but overnight, the world turns white

feels like something will happen

when the twinkling lights fall in my heart” - the carol

a/n: i come bearing a some festive headcannons. most of these take place during the talking/crushing phase. if y’all want more of these, lmk !!!!

asahi

you and asahi’s tryst under the mistletoe was no accident

oh no no, it was engineered by the devilish helpful 2nd and 3rd years

watching you and asahi dance around each other’s feelings was exhausting

consequently, your friends took your romance into their own hands by hanging mistletoe in the center of the storage closet

when practice ended, kiyoko asked you and asahi to retrieve some paperwork from the closet

as you entered, the both of you remained oblivious to the mistletoe hanging above your heads

that is, until tanaka strolled up, nishinoya in toe, with a very smug look on his face

“look up lovebirds,” tanaka called out in a sing-song voice

cue extreme panic from you and asahi

while simultaneously stuttering nonsensical apologies to each other and colliding in an attempt to flee the closet, you were met with the face of a very stern daichi

you prepared yourself for a scolding about wasting time, but asahi knew that look all too well

daichi, wearing the annoyed expression reserved solely for asahi’s ridiculously glass hearted moments, said, “i’m closing this door. you two can come out when you’ve resolved... whatever this is. asahi, you know where the keys are. lock up when you’re done.”

with that, the door swung closed and the voices of your teammates faded out of the gym

asahi was looking anywhere but you

with a light chuckle to hide your anxiety, you said, “asahi you know i have a curfew on school nights. if you have something to say, say it”

you hadn’t meant to come off so harsh, but the tension was fraying your nerves beyond repair

“i... well... it’s just that..” you watched him take a deep breath, face bright red

he broke eye contact to to blurt out “i’ve liked you for most of our friendship. for all of it really. i think the team got tired of me pushing off my confession. i’m sorry”

you slowly processed the words that just left his mouth. all you could do was let out a loud, relieved laugh.

regaining your composure, you looked up at asahi and he looked hurt. in that moment, there was only one thing left to do

you grabbed his face with both of your hands, pulled him down to your height, and smashed your lips together in a desperate attempt to tell him you felt the same

“god you’re such a big baby, but you’re my big baby. i like you too asahi.”

the second kiss you shared under the mistletoe was much softer than the first; it was filled with unsaid promises for the future

you were 15 minutes late getting back home. asahi definitely owes you more kisses now

nishinoya

dumb and dumber noya and tanaka came up their worst best plan yet while watching a cheesy hallmark movie

“that’s it! that’s perfect!” noya sprang up from the couch

he and tanaka had unwittingly discovered a tried and true way to get his crush to kiss him: mistletoe

after scouting the perfect spot to bring you to, noya insisted on walking you home

noya did not hold back on the flirting. he wanted, no n e e d e d you to know he was flirting with you

“your hands look so cold...” he stared off into the distance, faking as if he was pondering something

“i have the perfect solution!” noya exclaimed, wrapping your hands in his own and lightly kissing them

you weren’t sure which was making your cheeks more red; your crush’s bold actions or the winter wind

noya pointedly walked towards a arch decorated for christmas. you were nonethwiser, still flustered by his bold actions

he abruptly stopped underneath it. noya swears he can feel his heart swell when you cock your head in confusion

once again utilizing his horrendous excellent acting skills, noya looked up and feigned surprise at the mistletoe above your heads

you only make eye contact with him again when his hands cup your face

“well, it is a christmas tradition. who am i to break it?” noya said, a goofy smile adorning his face as he leaned in

you were too shocked to reciprocate the kiss. had his arms not wrapped around you, you likely would’ve fallen to the ground

noya pulled back, trying to hide his unease while he asked “how was it?”

snapping out of your stupor, your hugged him and buried your face into his neck

“it was perfect,” you mumbled, still too flustered to look him in the eyes

after that, both noya walking you home and kisses became more commonplace

tanaka definitely wasn’t silently cheering on noya from the bushes. definitely not. nope.

kuroo

despite seeming extra suave, kuroo had no idea how to confess to you

you two were good friends but the friendship had taken on a flirty tone

the lines between friendship and crush had been blurred so much so much that kuroo had no idea how you felt about him

unbeknownst to him, you were facing the exact same dilemma

the mistletoe incident was very... unlike his scheming self

any other day you would’ve assumed he brought you under the mistletoe on purpose, to continue his flirty banter with you

however, his flushed face and incoherent words clued you into the fact that he did not plan this

he quickly pulled himself together so he could save face through his usual teasing

“aww sweetheart did you really bring me here? are you that desperate for a kiss from me? if you want to put your hands on me, all you have to do is ask. i’m right here for the taking and—“

you surge forward, connecting your lips to his stupid, chapped, rambling ones

kuroo.exe has stopped responding

when you pull back he stared at you in disbelief

“y/n i—“

“that was to shut you up, asshole”

despite the insults, the flush decorating your cheeks was plain to see

kuroo wrapped one long arm around you waist and pulled you close to him as you walked

he leaned down, hot breathe tickling your ear, “can we try that again? at my house? just for research purposes ya know.”

some dumbasses things never change

bokuto

everyone knew bokuto had a crush on you

well, everyone but you

his compliments and excessive skinship flew straight over your head. you assumed he was like that with all his friends

in order to get his point across, bokuto decided he needed a plan

and subtlety was never bokuto’s strong suit

“y/n!” you heard his voice boom behind you. it was 7:30am, how did he have this much energy?

you groggily turned around, absentmindedly adjusting your school uniform. you were met with the sight of bokuto with something green gripped in his left hand

he beamed at you as he lifted his arm above your heads and unclasped his hand

you belatedly realized the herb bokuto had been crushing holding was mistletoe

he looked at you expectantly, exuding giddy and nervous energy

bokuto’s puppy like personality was irresistible, especially in your groggy state

standing on your tiptoes, you placed a soft kiss on his cheek

the sound ring of the school bell interrupted your perfect moment. to hide your embarrassment, you began to walk off to class

not a minute later you heard bokuto’s voice yell “wait! it was supposed to be on the lips!”

you couldn’t control the small smile that remained on your face for the rest of the day

©glassheartjukebox all written content belongs to this user. do not repost, modify, or copy content

[milomeepit]

21 Sanders Street Chapter Eleven: A New Addition

//Amazing art by the wonderful @divinedrabbles can be found here!

First | Previous | Next

Story Warnings: Death, violence, crime, police, strained marriage, non graphic mention of torture, cursing, mental trauma, stabbing, gang, pregnancy Chapter Warnings: showers, pregnancy, mentions of babies and children, talk about parenthood, food mention Rating: Young Adult Ships: Endgame Logicality and Prinxiety

After Virgil Diaz went undercover, nothing was quite the same at the station. Sure, the squad still went to coffee at the cafe down the street, Logan still fussed over his wife, Roman still risked life and limb to get an adventure. Patton still made cookies on Fridays. But nothing was the same. Not really. The thing, though, was when Virgil came back. That’s when it all changed.

A/N: I have nothing to say for myself. However, stay tuned and keep an eye on your notes for a tag in an update regarding this AU! Because- knock on wood- I think I’ve finally found a solution for my almost year-long writer’s block for it! :D

Logan groaned as he rolled over, swatting at his buzzing alarm clock blindly. He sat up, looking around the room and yawning. Sunlight dripped through the gaps in the curtains, lighting the room in a gentle golden glow.

Arnold padded up to him, headbutting his arm and meowing. Logan absentmindedly stroked the cat’s back, noticing the distinct lack of warmth in the bed beside him. Celine must have already gotten up. Odd. She normally stayed under the covers as long as she could, cuddling up to him and whining for more time.

Logan picked up his hairbrush from his bedside table and made his way towards the sound of running water that drifted from the bathroom. He pushed open the door and paused, drinking in Celine’s sweet singing from the shower. Like a siren, her voice seemed to curl around the room, soaking into his skin and clinging to him.

Of course, that could just be the steam from the boiling hot showers she took.

His gaze traced the outline of her body through the frosted glass, smiling gently. “Enjoying yourself in there?”

Celine gave a start, then turned to grin at him. “I didn’t hear you come in, don’t scare me like that!” She chided, running her hands through her hair, lathering shampoo along her blonde locks.

He chuckled, padding over to the sink and plucking his toothbrush from the holder. “Sorry,” He apologised insincerely. “It absolutely won’t happen again.”

Celine stifled a giggle. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sure it won’t.”

“Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page!” Logan started brushing his teeth. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Not much. I was thinking I could try baking that four layer cake recipe your mom gave me?” She hummed in response.

Logan spat foam into the sink, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh, excellent. I’m certain you’ll do wonderfully.” As he drew back from the sink, he noticed a small pink and white stick laying on the bench. “Hm?”

Celine squinted through the glass. “What’s wrong?”

Logan picked up the stick, peering at it. “Is... is this...?” Looking it up and down, his eyes landed on the thin double lines. 

Celine’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh! Hang on a-” She scrambled to turn off the shower, then grabbed her towel and started drying herself off. “It’s, uh... yeah. Surprise?” She smiled, an awkward and forced smile, looking up at him.

Logan met her gaze, seeing the anxiety clouding her face. “Hey, hey...” He set down the pregnancy test, cupping her face in his hands and touching his forehead to hers. “It’s alright, breathe.”

In his mind’s eye, he could already picture their future, little snapshots of family moments to come.

Helping their child with homework; the two of them hunched over a table, papers haphazard as they poured over books. They’d complain about the confusing names of different bones as they scrawled notes into their workbook. He’d laugh, and Celine would chime in with some mnemonic as she set down cups of tea in front of them.

Or he and Celine sitting on a picnic blanket in the park as summer sunshine warmed their faces, watching their child clamber over the playground. Logan would dig through the cooler and pull out juice boxes and sandwiches for the three of them to snack on. They’d drop down from the monkey bars and scamper over, taking the sandwich with a happy, “Thank you, Daddy!”

Their child nervously sitting in the driver’s seat for their first driving lesson, panicking over the various buttons and mirrors. Logan sitting beside them, gently instructing them how to turn the wheel, reminding them to check their mirrors as they turned in the empty parking lot he’d chosen to help them feel more comfortable as they learned how to control the car.

He could imagine bouncing a toddler on his knee, their chubby cheeks scrunching up as they giggled. Celine scooping up the squirming child, tickling them as they shrieked in delight, reaching out towards him; “Daddy, Daddy cuddle!” 

As he brushed back hair from Celine’s face, he could picture her sitting on their bed, cradling a teeny tiny baby in her arms, a serene smile on her face as she sang to them, her voice soft and sweet and beautiful. His chest swelled with emotion, and he smiled, pulling her close against him.

“Logan, I'm still wet, you're gonna mess up your PJs-” Celine protested, eyes wide.

“Don't care, not important.” Logan responded softly, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This is amazing! We're going to be parents. I can't wait to tell the others!”

“Let's- maybe let's not tell everyone? Just yet?” She pulled back, chewing on her lip before she continued. “I mean, it's kind of soon, don't you think?”

He blinked, thrown slightly off guard, then nodded. He understood that. There were a lot of variables they couldn't predict, and while they were both healthy young adults, it would hardly be prudent to tempt fate. “Of course, of course.”

She smiled, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. “I love you, so much, you know that?”

Logan flushed at the warmth of her words. “I love you, too, Cel. And I can't wait for this- next chapter in our book, right?”

Celine laughed, and Logan soaked in the sunshine of her smile, feeling giddy to be here, to be with her, to be alive. He picked her off her feet, twirling across the bathroom as she squealed in delighted surprise. “Lo!” 

He paused, suddenly setting her down. “Wait, no, gotta be careful, I don't want to hurt them, or you-” 

“Logan, it’s alright, calm down!” Celine giggled. “I'm fine, they're fine, it's okay. We're okay. You don't need to worry.”

“Alright, alright, I'm calm.” He grinned, kissing Celine before bobbing down to her belly.

He rested his hands on her waist, gazing lovingly at the smooth expanse of skin, unchanged for the time being. He wondered how large her bump would be. It was different from woman to woman, he was pretty sure. Roman's mother had never had a particularly large belly throughout her pregnancies, but Dawn had swollen up like a beach ball fairly early on.

“I promise I am going to do everything in my power to care for the two of you,” Logan murmured, dotting kisses over Celine's stomach.

“Hey, that tickles!” Celine whined, batting at his shoulder lightly. “If you're going to turn into a Hallmark movie cliche, could you at least do it with a firmer touch?”

Logan chuckled, sitting back on his heels and looking up at his wife, admiring the flush dusted across her cheeks as she crossed her arms playfully. “I love you. I love you so much,” He repeated softly.

She broke into a smile and held out a hand to him. “Come on, sweetheart. How about we go have a crack at that cake to celebrate, huh?”

21 Sanders Street Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed! :o):

@pattson @royallyanxious  @wisepuma23 @redisawerewolf @lacrimosathedark  @lucifer-in-my-head @2queer2deer @crayonthegreat @rose-gold-roman @my-happy-little-bean @thats-kat-with-a-k @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @davidthetraveler @just-a-random-word @wolfishhel  @the-no-name-system @everythings-comin-up-aces @awkwardcaitlin @pr0bablypr0crstinating @generalfandomfabulousness @nyamafriend @the-average-loner @livsig @theresneverenoughfandoms @daughterofsomnus @mrtacothethird @jam-the-fan @swlotakulady34 @sher-soc-the-famder

[rooks]

i know y’all didn’t come to this blog for Castle Rock commentary but

[LIGHT SEASON 2 SPOILERS] TLDR: Castle Rock season 1 was like if Lost and American Horror Story banged and had a baby, disappointing ending (but constant “what’s next?” intrigue) included. Castle Rock season 2 is like American Horror Story full stop, and not the excellent B-movie early seasons, and more like the unoriginal later ones. Season 1 has (slightly) lower critic AND audience scores than Season 2. I will now discuss why this is stupid. Season 1 has a lot of Stephen King references framing an intriguing mystery. It definitely uses them overmuch to a viewer watching in a “binge” setting, but it is less intrusive with spaced episodes, and the show never goes so far as to lean on them. Since the story is its own standalone experience, a viewer can watch the show and only have their experience enhanced by catching the easter eggs the creators put in, little references to books, characters related to other characters, etc; but to those who do not catch these in universe references, there is no harm. Season 2, meanwhile, is garbage. The references or knowledge of the universe actually HARMS the experience. The “main character” (since there are multiple primary characters in Castle Rock s1 and s2, but Annie is the main viewpoint) of Annie Wilkes is not “revealed” in any meaningful way, as we know who she is from the beginning. There is no mystery to this, and since she is an established Stephen King character and this is effectively an origin story, any tension related to her fate and the fates of those involved with her is gone. A fan of King’s work will know exactly the kind of person she grows to be and aside from wondering how she gets there, there is no mystery. Compare this to the mysteries of just about every character in Season 1 aside from Alan Pangborn who is featured in other books, but since Season 1 happens AFTER those books, his fate and story is completely open to however the show decides to resolve it. The show in Season 2 is positively plagued by that moment so many modern remakes/reimaginings/origin stories/movies of books/etc have, which is the “this is significant so the camera will linger on it” moment, usually accompanied by a dramatic “sting” sound effect to make sure you really notice. These framed shots last longer than necessary, and while meant in most other references of this type to allow fans to recognize the references for what they are and have an “ahh” moment, and the length of the shot lends significance to help with recognition, but are pretty empty otherwise. In Season 1 these moments are very rare, and references are instead relegated to familiar locations, names, or (very brief) dialogue references. In Season 2 they are not just plentiful and visual, but if you do not get these moments, then what they are trying to say is lost on you, and as stated a the beginning of this paragraph, they actually spoil the experience, so their presence is pointless. There is a long segment that leads to a scene in the second episode where Annie falls into a tunnel that leads into the Marsten House which she narrowly escapes from without being discovered. Any classic film/King fan will recognize this as the focal point of evil in Salem’s Lot where the vampires that infested the town originated from/were destroyed in. From this, it is easy to put the pieces together: Annie fell into a tunnel filled with coffins beneath the Marsten House. These are probably vampire coffins or corpses of their victims. She escapes through the house which is occupied though it shouldn’t be, so there are probably vampires back in Salem’s Lot. Annie, a focal and violent character, will probably have to square off with the vampires in some meaningful way as the plot of the season. Anyone with the inside knowledge effectively has the story laid bare for them, but anyone who DOESN’T have this knowledge is left in the dark as an “aha” moment plays out that they are not in on. The whole scene seems abrupt and strangely out of place since the reference means nothing. Season 1, however, gives nothing. Pangborn is present but due to the events taking place outside the time of other works, anything can happen. Henry Deaver, our main character, is an unknown and is related only tangentially to other characters and known plots. Every character has some kind of mystery around them, and the unknown course of where the story will go not only lends itself to interesting storytelling, its actually the backbone of the entire story. Not knowing what is really happening or who certain people are is the secret we watch the show to reveal. The only giveaway lies in understanding how the connection of King’s literary universe (outside of its key towns in Maine) works gives any clue as to the mysteries of the plot.  This is just structure stuff, and if it seems like I’m being snobby by demanding a show’s high level plot be coherent and intriguing, that’s fair, but I am only doing that because these elements allow viewers to look past the moment to moment issues shows might have. Lost’s entire success hinged on mystery despite constant failure to deliver on many premises. Season 1 has flaws, it can drag, some “spooky” moments go nowhere, but it is all possible to be overlooked for episodes like The Queen where huge mysteries are revealed or seemingly pointless scenes are brought together to show that the showrunners truly knew what they were doing even when it didn’t seem that way. The reason that it is tragic that Season 2 does not have this is because Season 2 has all of the aforementioned issues and more. Season 2 chooses rather than jumping between many stories (or in staying with the same characters, to bridge long periods of time to get to interesting plot beats or moments) to spend almost all of its time with Annie Wilkes. The first episode is especially guilty, but it s a regular practice of showing scene after scene of the same imagery in her psychosis and hammering the “she needs drugs” point over your head repeatedly. Random gory or spooky moments will occur for just the sake of happening. Sudden violence or jump scares are commonplace. This has all of the same hallmarks of American Horror stories season 1 and 2, but with none of the schlocky humor. Castle Rock takes itself deadly serious, and the focus on individual stressors and characters is completely out of place in a show that has previously been about the big picture. Some might see this as a matter of preference but its the dissonance here that ruins the entire experience. It doesn’t help that Season 1 treated the viewer as intelligent while Season 2 can’t be bothered with such risks. Some plots are “answered” but never explained in Season 1 because any observant audience will know that one scene explains another, or makes another idea you had not possible and closes off that as a possible “solution” to the mystery. Meanwhile in episode 1 of Season 2, we are shown no less than five different times Annie trying to figure out how she can break into a certain room to get drugs. The entire episode hinges on this quest, and rather than us seeing the obvious thread of 1. she sees a doctor has the keycard 2. she attempts to get in using the keycard... Instead, we have to see the keycard being used while the gears in Annie’s brain STRUGGLE to figure out how she can POSSIBLY get into the room... only to eventually use the keycard which she gets in an completely unrelated way. That isn’t just disrespecting the character, it is disrespecting the audience who is experiencing the story through her. It isn’t that it is more or less realistic to have a character observe something many times while coming up with a solution, it is that the process of doing so is REALLY BORING TO WATCH. In Season 1, either the person would have directly gone and got the boring process of this scene over with, OR something unexpected and subverting would have happened, also right away, to move the plot along. Because Season 1′s plot has places to be and a lot to say, and Season 2 is only interested in being spooky and tense. If Season 2 feels the need to spoonfeed the audience a moment to moment solution to a problem, it should come as no surprise that it does the exact same thing with the overarching plot, showing over and over the same themes, the same “mystery”, and never bothering once to allow a viewer to come to their own conclusion. Season 1 is a story, and Season 2 is a painful January horror movie. Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, I don’t want to put it behind a cut. Season 2 of Castle Rock is disappointing as hell.

[onestarromcoms]

December 6: “A Christmas Crush” (Hulu)

FYI: This movie is terrible. It does have going for it the beautiful and talented Cindy Sampson, known for Supernatural; also, there’s a slightly dark running joke about the Donner Party in this movie that I was a little surprised to see in a Hallmark movie, but I guess times have changed. There’s also a not-small amount of stalking and a variation of the Men Are Talking trope throughout.

Cindy Sampson plays Addie, a beautiful, single event-planner in her 30s who has a meet-cute with the handsome lawyer Sam, played by Robin Dunne. They literally bump into each other in the hallway of their shared apartment complex, and Addie develops a crush on Sam. Later, while having Christmas Tea with another neighbor, the spunky, elderly Mrs. Motley, Addie makes a wish on a falling star that her neighbor would fall in love with her. 

Unfortunately, her wish lands on the WRONG NEIGHBOR! whose name is Pete. Pete falls madly in love with Addie, which, in rom-com terms, means he stalks her relentlessly to the point where she is sneaking in and out of her apartment to avoid having him accost her in the hallway or force himself into her apartment. Pete even shows up at her job to take her out to dinner:

Addie, in true rom-com style, tolerates Pete’s horrifying, often illegal intrusions with token feminine annoyance. Addie claims she blames herself for his behavior several times - “This is all my fault!” - because the falling-star Christmas Wish is what is ostensibly causing Pete to stalk her. As an audience we’re meant to absolve Pete somewhat because his feelings aren’t his fault. I’m not sure where the writers and directors of this movie conflate Pete’s uncontrollable feelings with his deliberate actions. I guess the real travesty is that we live in a world where it’s at least somewhat acceptable that a man demonstrates love by incessantly wearing down the woman he’s in love with until she doesn’t have the energy to fight him off.

Meanwhile, Addie manages to have several dates with Sam, where they establish a true connection with one another. Each date is, of course, spoiled by Pete vying for Addie’s affections. Rather than invoking physical comedy, this plays into the Men Are Talking trope. Every time Pete shows up, Sam ignores Addie’s fervent claims that she is NOT in love with Pete and trudges away sadly, assuming that Addie really is super into this random guy who keeps crashing their dates. Personally, I think calling 911 to have him detained might kill that Christmas Magic a little bit, but that’s just me.

Addie has several more Christmas Teas with Mrs. Motley, who, for some reason, knows all the technicalities about Christmas magic and wishes and counsels Addie in getting  Pete to fall out of love with her. By the end of the movie, Addie has learned that Pete had a fiance before he became obsessed with her, and Sam and colleague Drea are enlisted to help Pete fall back in love with his fiance to deflect his attention from Addie. (Notably, Sam believes her about the Christmas Magic for some reason, even though he wouldn’t take her word about not being interested in Pete.) Their attempts consistently fail, however, but rather than seek out some magic-based solution, the four of them bail, and are prepared to let Addie spend the rest of her life being stalked by Pete. 

The story culminates at a Christmas party Addie and Drea plan for the wealthy Donner family, where Addie is able to make another wish on some falling star-shaped confetti - the wish that she’s able to be honest about her feelings to her friends, her family, and her next-door neighbor. Even though she’s been honest the whole time - dudes can’t hear her over the sound of their own voices. Sam finds Addie as she’s leaving the party and apologizes, then confesses his feelings for her - which, again, is not the first time he’s told her this, and I don’t know why this honesty wish is where the writers went with this, but there we are.

SPOILERS: They kiss and make up and are assumed to be dating. The best part of the story is Drea, played by supporting actress Erica Deutschman, who gets the only funny lines and is a great comic relief.  This movie is terrible. One star.

[hellocortney100]

Day 23-Be my Valentine

02/14/20

Start 6:40 am

Happy Valentine's day! Even though I don't personally have a significant other to spend the day with I did have a lot of fun spending time with my community of friends. My day began by waking up for my photography class at the crack of dawn. I started by consuming a blueberry bagel with plain cream cheese like I usually do. I was excited for the day so I decided to dress up a little and get in the loving spirit. I put on a red sweater and put a little extra blush on. 

I was pleased to get a message from my friend that he would drive us to class today because the weather was still really bad and he didn't wanna walk to the bus station. I was relieved because I was still putting my makeup on when he texted me meaning I was already behind on getting ready. On the ride there I realized why this was the first time he ever offered to drive. His car sounded like it was about to break down, the engine was angry and every time we hit a pothole it made me feel like we were on a rollercoaster. When we finally made it to class I was ready for the day. I had consumed my ice coffee on the ride there and was already opening my cracker package from my lunch. Class was important today,we were learning how to use the lightroom which meant a lot of mistakes would occur. Because we were learning something so complicated, the class felt like it went by really quickly. I still managed to eat a lot to fuel my brainpower. I ate crackers, pretzels, a sandwich and consumed my ice coffee.

I walked out feeling like I understood everything we went through but was also exhausted after looking at the assignments that were expected to finish by next week. I am not very good at photography so I have to put a lot of effort into perfecting things that come easily to other students. Sometimes it frustrates me but most of the time it just motivates me to want to get better and produce better photos.

After class, my friend took me home and I realized a bit before I had to go to my Design U meeting to discuss how to improve our client's website. The meeting was very insightful because we discussed a lot of concepts and solutions that I wouldn't have been able to come up with on my own. I had fun learning about my peers and building off of their ideas to problem solve. We were supposed to come up with a solution to improve the UX design of a feminist book club subscription website. The owner of the company is a one-woman show who was having trouble sorting through her updates and organizing her website layout. I ended up consuming a bag of pretzels and a fuji apple over the course of the meeting as well. I really didn't even realize I was eating that much until I reached the end of the pretzel bag. I tend to get the munchies when I am in deep thought.

When I got home I noticed a package was waiting for me at the door. My mother had surprised me and sent me a gift of goodies for Valentine's day. I was so excited to open it. I had a huge grin on my face as I carried it to my room. I opened it to find she had sent me strawberry-flavored white chocolates, gummy bears and sweetish fish, candy hearts, fruit snacks, dots pretzels, and a card with 50 dollars in it. I called her immediately after and thanked her for the kind gesture. I am so thankful for my mom's love and was so touched by the gift I received. I love opening presents especially when I don't know what it is. One of the readings discussed this concept and how there is a difference between packaging that is on a product when we know what it is vs when we don't know. The plastic packaging on items in the store is more of a nuisance while the wrapping on a gift is more satisfying.

Later that night I went to dinner with my best friend to Applebees to get dinner for the holiday. My best friend has always been there for her so it was a no brainer that I would spend the night with her. We have been friends since elementary school and we followed each other into college as well. We are inseparable and know each other like the back of our hand. I can't imagine what my life would be like without her, she gives me advice and wisdom that helps me navigate my world. It sounds cheesy but I love her and am grateful I got to consume the experience of spending time with her. We went back to her apartment to watch a Hallmark movie in the spirit of valentine's day. Maybe next year I will find a date.

[dani-ellie03]

Fic: Wednesday’s Child (1/?)

Title: Wednesday's Child Summary: The next time Emma Swan wanted magical help, she was on her own. Because now they were stuck with a pint-sized savior who clearly had an attitude problem and a terrified but pretending not to be pre-pirate. Spoilers: If you're current, we're good. Rating/Warning: PG-13, mostly for safety. Family angst/fluff, as per usual. Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time and its characters were created by Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and are owned by ABC. I'm just borrowing them but I'll put them back when I'm finished! Author's Note: I know, I know, this trope has been done a million and one times but it's always fun, yes? I'm already having a boatload of fun with this idea, so hopefully you will, too! Even though it may not seem like it at first blush, there will be plenty of Charming Family interaction in this piece. Feedback is a writer's ice cream sundae! Enjoy. :)

-----

At ff.net and below.

-----

"Maybe this was a dumb idea."

A mildly exasperated Regina Mills gave a slight roll of her eyes. Similar statements had fallen from Emma Swan's lips a few times during the course of the morning, which was both vaguely frustrating and somewhat concerning.

Emma wasn't usually so indecisive. On the other hand, she'd never before set her sights on accomplishing something so magically ambitious. A little uncertainty was to be expected in this case, Regina supposed.

A lesson Regina had learned throughout the morning was that if she didn't quell Emma's doubts quickly, she would have a cranky sheriff on her hands. And she did not want a cranky sheriff on her hands because a cranky sheriff would just as quickly lead to a cranky queen. "It's not a dumb idea," she assured Emma somewhat offhandedly. Her own attention was focused on rummaging through the trunk in her vault in an effort to find something – anything – that would help them. "Challenging, yes. A bit too sentimental, probably, but not dumb."

Emma shot her head up from the book she'd been paging through, her eyes wide in concern. "You think it's too sentimental?"

From his position next to his wife, Killian Jones shot Regina a warning glare. Her eye-roll reflex on overdrive, Regina huffed, "Well, of course I think it's too sentimental but the gift isn't for me, is it? It's for your parents, who should own stock in Hallmark if they don't already. Sentimental is basically your mother's middle name. They're going to adore it."

Emma's shoulders slumped in relief as a tiny smile tugged at her lips. She dropped her gaze back down to the book, content for the moment to continue her search. Killian gave Regina a silent nod, indicating his gratitude for the way she'd soothed his wife's ruffled feathers.

Regina nodded back. She was, after all, the one who'd ruffled them in the first place.

She hadn't just been placating Emma, though. What she'd said was the gods' honest truth. Emma's plan was indeed overly sentimental – so overly sentimental that Regina was surprised Emma had even come up with it – but her parents would indeed love it with all their hearts.

Heaving another sigh, Regina went back to rummaging in the trunk. She felt like they'd been in this damn vault for hours. A glance at her watch proved that they had.

She hadn't anticipated giving up her day to help Emma create the perfect anniversary gift for her parents. The savior had a very specific idea of what she wanted to do but so far, it didn't look like it could be done.

Still, Regina wasn't one to back down from a challenge. And somewhat selfishly, a little voice deep inside her wondered if maybe helping Emma with this project would help to make up in some small part for the grief she herself had caused Snow and Charming all those years ago.

Emma's project had seemed simple enough at the outset: she wanted to create a home movie. She'd thought of it after spotting her mother surreptitiously recording her blowing soap bubbles for little Neal in the backyard and his subsequent delight at watching them float around above his head. Where the project became difficult was that she wanted to give her parents a home movie of her own childhood. Minus the video she'd recorded as a teenager with Lily, none existed.

So she'd asked Regina if there was a way to record some of her good childhood memories and have them appear on physical media, which she could then give to her parents. She even had a short list of memories she wanted captured. There was her third grade class play in which she'd starred at Mother Goose. There was a group home outing to an amusement park when she was eleven. She wanted her parents to witness the meteor shower she'd watched with her foster brother at age six and delight in her winning her fourth grade class spelling bee. A seventh grade field trip to the Museum of Science in Boston rounded out the list.

There were other memories, too, Regina imagined. There were bound to be nice times Emma had lost sight of, good moments that had gotten lost in the upheaval of her life. The trick to it all was somehow extracting those memories from Emma's head, changing the perspective so Snow and Charming could watch their little girl as she experiences those happy moments, and copying them to a medium that her parents could view.

Not exactly an easy feat.

"And you're sure you can make it so that it only takes the good ones?" Emma spoke up, her tone once again unsure.

Yet another concern of Emma's was somehow tarnishing the entire project by accidentally extracting some bad memories along with the good ones. It seemed a tall order, picking and choosing like that, but the cherry-picking had turned out to be the easiest part of the project so far. "Yes," Regina assured her. "The clove in the potion will guarantee only good memories will be taken. Relax, Emma."

"It'll all work out, love," Killian assured her. He rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

Regina never thought she would say this but she was glad for the pirate's presence. He had a calming effect on Emma, for one, and surprisingly, he'd also given Regina the direction for beginning this project. When Emma had explained what she wanted to do, the pirate had noted that Emma had used dreamcatchers to watch others' memories on more than one occasion.

He'd seemed somewhat hesitant to even bring it up. Regina could understand why – Emma's history with dreamcatchers wasn't exactly sunshine and puppies – but she was glad he'd silenced his reluctance because the dreamcatchers were the key. All she had to do was modify the magic used to make them so that Emma's memories would remain intact once they were lifted and so that the memories could be recorded on something Snow and Charming wouldn't need magic to activate.

Emma had, of course, brought both a blank VHS tape and a recordable DVD. If memories could be recorded onto dreamcatchers, she reasoned, then surely they could be recorded onto something a bit more modern. Regina wasn't sure that her logic fully tracked but she was willing to give it a shot.

Sometime while Regina was ruminating on the magical problem in front of her, Emma had given in to her nervous energy. The book she'd been searching through lay open and abandoned as she paced the length of the vault. Killian kept a concerned eye on her but let her continue.

Which was all well and good for Killian but her constant motion was beginning to set Regina's teeth on edge. Emma Swan clearly needed something to do that wasn't paging through a book on the off chance she would stumble across something helpful.

"Emma, you and Killian can get started on the potion for the memory extraction." Regina winced at the sharpness of her tone as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to sound so annoyed.

The pirate shot another warning glare in Regina's direction. Emma either didn't pick up on the mounting frustration – Regina with Emma and Killian with Regina – or didn't care. She was just grateful to be given something to do. "Sure. Just tell me what the substitutions are."

Since she'd worked the memory extraction magic before, she was clearly comfortable enough with her assigned task. Regina filled her in on the changes to the spell. While Emma and Killian got to work, Regina continued poring over her books, trying to find any mention of recording memories onto something other than a dreamcatcher.

After searching for a few more fruitless minutes, Regina slammed the book shut. This wasn't helpful. She was never going to find what she was really looking for. After all, it wasn't as if VCRs existed in the Enchanted Forest. No, her only solution was once again modifying the dreamcatcher magic.

As she ran her eyes over her magical items in an effort to determine what substitutions would have to be made, she heard Emma ask Killian to retrieve the clove for her. The pirate crossed the vault, picked up a bottle, and returned to his wife.

It struck Regina a moment later that he'd grabbed a blue bottle.

She kept her clove in a brown bottle.

Oh no.

The next few seconds seemed to happen both in slow motion and too quickly for Regina to do anything to stop the impending disaster. "No, wait, not that one!" Regina cried but it was too late.

Killian had already handed the blue bottle to Emma, who was now uncorking it and turning it upside down over the beaker. The second a root from the blue bottle made contact with Emma's potion, the flashover occurred. Regina ducked behind the trunk as the potion exploded in a flash of bright light and a billow of white smoke. Her only hope was that Emma and Killian had heard her warning in time to duck as well.

Somehow she didn't really think so.

Regina waited for the smoke to clear before almost hesitantly pushing herself to her feet. Adding the wrong ingredient to a potion could result in a range of outcomes, from the mild to the highly undesirable. She didn't get a good enough look at what Killian had grabbed instead of the clove, which meant she had no idea what to expect when she stood to face the savior and her pirate.

And though she'd had no idea what to expect, she had certainly never expected the sight before her. Her jaw dropped open in shock and she blinked to make sure she was seeing clearly.

No doubt about it; two small children were now standing where Emma and Killian had stood.

Regina found herself staring at a boy and girl, both appearing to be about ten years old. The girl's hair fell around her shoulders in blonde waves as apprehension and confusion clouded her green eyes. The dark-haired little boy darted his curious blue gaze around the vault, his shoulders tensing when he realized he didn't recognize his surroundings.

Oh no. No, this couldn't be happening. This couldn't really be happening.

The second the girl's gaze landed on Regina, she stiffened, took two steps backward, and set her shoulders. "Where am I and who the hell are you?"

Her voice seemed to draw the boy out of his shock. "Where are we? Where's Liam? Have you done something with him?"

Then again, maybe it could.

Wonderful, Regina thought in irritation. (And yes, perhaps a little panic, too.) Just wonderful.

The next time Emma Swan wanted magical help, she was on her own. Because now Regina was stuck with a pint-sized savior who clearly had an attitude problem and a terrified but pretending not to be pre-pirate. Neither one of them seemed to have any recollection of their adult lives, which meant they had no idea who Regina was.

Or Henry.

Or anyone else in Storybrooke.

All right, she told herself, think. She didn't know what steps in the magical process Emma had taken, so she wasn't exactly sure how the memory extraction potion had turned into … well, this. It wasn't as if Regina could just ask her, either, because she was now a ten-year-old who clearly had no memory of what she'd been doing two minutes ago. From what little Regina knew of Emma's childhood, at this age, she wouldn't believe in magic and fairy tales anyway. And she couldn't simply reverse the magic if she didn't know what had been done in the first place and … gods, this was a nightmare.

Regina looked from little Emma, whose green eyes flashed in defiance as she crossed her arms over her chest, to little Killian, who just looked panicked. How was she going to explain this to these children?

Hell, never mind the children. How was she going to explain this to Snow and Charming?

-----

Chapter Two

[aion-rsa]

7 Epistolary Time Travel Stories

https://ift.tt/30jZVe7

Here are some of our favorite TV shows, books, and movies that tell a time travel story through letters, radio, and DVDs.

facebook

twitter

tumblr

The epistolary novel—that is, a story told through letters—dates back all the way to the 1400s in the earliest versions of the form, counting Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice as famous examples.

But what about the first time travel narrative told through correspondence? Could it have begun with a short story in 1959—or might one theorize that the epistolary time travel story will exist, has always existed, throughout the timestream? That certainly feels like the case with Max Gladstone and Amal El-Mohtar’s new novella This Is How You Lose the Time War, featuring a pair of transdimensional pen pals.

At any rate, the form lends itself to a twisty story filled with predestination paradoxes created by the scratch of a pen or the typing of a key—literally writing the future, or the past, into being. And even as the method of delivery evolves from a traditional letter to more creative interpretations of communication, the connections forged on the metaphorical page remain as compelling. From a magical mailbox inspiring a meet-cute to rival time war agents leaving love notes across time, these seven stories prove that every time travel story has at least two sides.

“The Love Letter” by Jack Finney

Delivery method: writing desk with hidden compartments

What’s the story?

In 1959, bachelor Jake Belknap buys a seemingly simple desk from a secondhand store, it having been sold from a nearby Brooklyn brownstone. But when he happens to sit down at the desk on a particularly existential night of wondering if he’ll ever find someone to love, what does he discover but a secret hiding spot, and a note inside?

read more: 10 Ridiculous Time Machines in Fiction

It’s not so much a letter as a cry for help, from one Helen Elizabeth Worley in 1882. Charmed by her open-ended salutation (“Dearest!”) and moved by her own desperate longing, Jake impulsively writes back, validating Helen’s every forbidden thought. With the convenience of his vintage stamp collection and knowledge of a nearby post office that was still standing in the 1800s, Jake is able to reach Helen across seventy-odd years. After just a letter or two, they both believe themselves to like the other person enough to potentially fall in love… if only they could meet.

Pen pal paradox?

There are only so many hidden compartments in one desk, however; and once each is opened, Helen cannot place anything else within it. Jake doesn’t realize this until there is one compartment left, so he implores her to send something worthwhile. Instead of the long love letter he expected, however, he receives simply a photograph of her, with the inscription I will never forget. And when it finally occurs to him to track down her grave, he sees her true final missive to him, hidden in plain sight: I never forgot.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Helen’s gravestone is a nice little touch, but that’s all we’re left with in Jake’s telling. Unlike other stories on this list, we don’t get a sense of how opening himself up to Helen’s love actually changed him for the better. Then again, there’s always the Hallmark movie version.

Frequency

Delivery method: ham radio broadcasts during the aurora borealis

What’s the story?

Over time, the definition of epistolary stories has broadened to include other forms of communication—from newspaper clippings to voicemails to, in this 2000 film’s case, hitting just the right radio frequency to reach across time and space. In 1999, cop John Sullivan (Jim Caviezel) finds that his dead father’s old ham radio starts broadcasting during a rare solar flare. On the other end? His dad, firefighter Frank Sullivan (Dennis Quaid), in 1969, the night before his death.

Pen pal paradox?

It’s easy enough for John to warn Frank of his impending fiery doom so that he makes it out alive. But then details in 1999 start changing: instead of John losing his father to fire, his mother is murdered by a serial killer, and Frank is still fated to die in 1989 from (irony of ironies) smoking. When his father’s old friend assigns John to investigate the cold case of serial killer “the Nightingale,” he uses his knowledge of the past and his father’s action in the past to try to save his mother.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Like The Lake House, this epistolary time travel movie tends toward the cheesy (they get you with the ol’ “past injury influences present action” bit), but Caviezel and Quaid foster a tender father-son dynamic that makes it worthwhile. While the movie was adapted into a 2016 CW TV series of the same name, with a female lead no less, it only lasted one season.

The Lake House

Delivery method: magical mailbox

What’s the story?

The Lake House feels like the urtext of the epistolary time travel story, despite the fact that it came out only in 2006—likely because of how it so commits to the delightfully cheesy conceit of a time-traveling mailbox through which doctor Kate Forster (Sandra Bullock) and architect Alex Wyler (Keanu Reeves) exchange letters.

read more: Bill & Ted 3 — Everything We Know

Ostensibly both tenants of the same idyllic lake house—not to mention unintentionally sharing custody of an adorable dog—they soon discover that they exist exactly two years apart, with Kate in 2006 and Alex in 2004. Though it takes a few back-and-forth notes to be sure that neither is pranking the other, their status as time-crossed lovers becomes cemented once Kate predicts both the dog tracking pawprints through “their” house as well as a surprise cold snap. There’s also the nifty mechanic of watching the mailbox flag go up and down when the other receives a letter.

Pen pal paradox?

Aside from saving them a hell of a lot on postage, the TARDIS-like mailbox can transport more than just letters: a thoughtful scarf from Kate, an annotated map of Alex’s favorite Chicago spots that lets them share a walking tour, a copy of Alex’s father’s posthumous memoirs on the day of his death.

read more: Sandra Bullock Was Almost Cast as The Matrix's Neo

Their correspondence, in rambling letters and impatient quick-scribbled responses, both creates paradoxes and fulfills time loops; the movie seems to play fast-and-loose with time travel rules about how much you can change the past (like planting a surprise tree) versus fitting into the established fabric of time.

Despite the rom-com’s often overbearing earnestness, there are some clever moments, like when Alex charms his way into Kate’s birthday party in 2004 and even kisses her—a fond but vague memory for her that sharpens only after they’ve been writing each other for months. But if they’re so head-over-heels for each other, then why doesn’t Alex show up for their dinner date in Kate’s present?

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Watching this at a sleepover in 2006, the twist of “one of us is dead in the other’s timeline!” was still fairly unique in time travel stories, or at least what teenage me had been exposed to. Now you can see it coming a mile away. The Lake House’s big reveal comes on so suddenly, and gets resolved equally quickly, that it’s difficult to really key into the emotional roller coaster of the last ten minutes.

read more: Toy Story 4 — How Keanu Reeves Became Duke Kaboom

That said, on a rewatch the solution is deceptively simple: just wait. As a teen I was scratching my head thinking, “That’s it?” but, as an adult, I see how begging someone to go through linear time is the greatest request you can make in a time travel story. Still, this is a movie to be giggled at over wine, not to actually be taken seriously.

Doctor Who, “Blink”

Delivery method: DVD Easter egg extras courtesy of a transcript

What’s the story?

In one of the new Doctor Who’s most memorable (and quotable) episodes, Sally Sparrow (Carey Mulligan) encounters the Weeping Angels in then-contemporary 2007, after they trap her friend Kathy in the past. When Sally tracks down Kathy’s brother Larry to share her condolences, she instead discovers that he has been following a most peculiar phenomenon: odd Easter eggs of a man having a one-sided conversation, spread out over 17 DVDs… all of which Sally owns.

read more: Doctor Who Season 12 to Feature The Judoon

When Sally places the disc in a DVD player, she finds herself “talking” to the Doctor (David Tennant) despite the fact that he has recorded this video while trapped in 1969. In some cases, having seen the Easter eggs before, she can anticipate the Doctor’s next line; in the most baffling moments, he seems to respond to her exclamations as if they are actually conversing. In the Doctor’s case, he’s reading from a complete transcript, despite the fact that this exchange cannot happen until Sally plays her part in 2007.

Pen pal paradox?

“Look to your left,” the Doctor says—an ambiguous line that Larry, with all his rewatching, has not been able to decipher. Until Sally does so and sees Larry himself, who has printed out the Doctor’s lines and is writing in Sally’s half of the conversation. After defeating the Weeping Angels, Sally runs into the Doctor and hands him the completed transcript, telling him that he’ll need it.

Fittingly, this is the episode that coined the series’ description of time travel as “wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.”

Successful delivery or return to sender?

That sentence may have gotten away from the Doctor a bit, but this episode is a brilliant riff on the epistolary time travel story.

The Incarnations by Susan Barker

Delivery method: taxi cab

What’s the story?

In the lead-up to the 2008 Summer Olympics in China, Beijing taxi driver Wang Jun discovers an unsettling anonymous note in the visor of his cab: “I watch you most days.” The letter writer, calling themselves Wang’s soulmate, explains that, even though Wang may not know them in this life, the two of them have been intertwined in six reincarnated lives over the past one thousand years.

read more: Best New Young Adult Books

Concubines in the Forbidden City; classmates during the start of the Cultural Revolution; 19th-century prisoners of Chinese pirates; incestuous relations—the letter writer describes their gruesome, intimate pasts with Wang in a series of missives that increasingly threaten his current incarnation, including his wife and daughter.

Pen pal paradox?

The past lifetimesdescribed by the letter writer, whether they were cut violently short or proceeded until death, all seem to be self-contained experiences with no impact on the present—though clearly the letter writer remembers all of these incarnations well enough to influence their actions in reaching out to Wang.

While the timeline itself does not appear to be in danger of instability, Wang’s growing paranoia at his stalker’s identity—and how close they could be to his family—influence his movements in ways that they would not have had he not opened that first letter.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

It turns out epistolary does not necessarily mean the story must contain back-and-forth letters, only that it be told through letters (or some other communication). Barker writes so compellingly—and that often means brutally—that the book spins out a half-dozen narratives that make the reader feel as if they too were a bit player in each of China’s key eras. But what really makes The Incarnations work is the nagging suspicion that it isn’t a time travel story at all, that the letter writer could just be making it all up.

Time Was by Ian McDonald

Delivery method: World War II book of poetry

What’s the story?

Ian McDonald’s quiet, romantic novella is not the first epistolary story to bring in a third player—the well-meaning, if somewhat voyeuristic, reader of these love letters in another time—but the trope gains more resonance when time travel is involved.

In London, book dealer Emmett Leigh acquires and sells an odd little used book—Time Was, a poetry collection by one E.L.—but pockets the love letter he spots pressed into its pages. Posting the text of Tom’s missive to Ben to some online history groups, Emmett is presented with all sorts of historical artifacts: a photo, a diary entry, even a still from a documentary in which they are the wrong age. And, eventually, another copy of Time Was, this time at a bookstore in Paris, containing a letter from Ben to Tom.

read more: How Red, White, and Royal Blue Hopes For a Kinder America

Important as the letters are for touching base with one another as these two lovers jump in and out of time and across the globe, the real time travel is through the books themselves—each passed along with careful precision so that it and its contents can be recovered. It’s a clever play on the time travel trope of communicating via an object moving through linear time… so long as nobody puts it up on eBay, of course.

Pen pal paradox?

Tom and Ben are frequently separated for various reasons, some related to time travel and others concerning their respective jobs as Royal Engineer and Royal Air Force scientist. Yet their plan revolving around the Time Was editions is surprisingly straightforward. It’s only when Emmett inserts himself into the story, and chases down what he thinks was the precipitating event, that things start to get wobbly.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Time Was is at its most clever when Emmett is deciphering the concrete evidence of photo, video, text, and oral tradition. While segments in which the readers (that’s us) actually meet Tom and Ben in their own original time provide some useful context, overall their story is left frustratingly unresolved. This novella feels like the beginning and end of a longer saga, with all the metaphorical pages ripped out of the middle.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Delivery method: letters revealed by burning and boiling; letters whittled onto stolen bones and fossilized fish; letters seeded and tended and plucked at the utmost ripeness

What’s the story?

On a distant, bloody battlefield in one of thousands of strands of reality, Red claims victory for her Agency—the brutal, rigid foot-soldiers of one half of the eternal, ever-shifting time war. But then, in the rubble, she finds a letter that says burn before reading. Unable to resist the taunt, Red meets her match: Blue, deep-cover spy for Garden, whose own interferences with time are more subtle yet still choke out the Agency’s changes as viciously as weeds.

read more: Best New Science Fiction Books

A letter this clever, this audacious, deserves a response. And so Red and Blue begin leaving one another notes, dispatches, epistles, bulletins across strands—all while sabotaging the other’s mission in cheeky ways. But what begins as a relatively low-stakes bit of intellectual sparring soon turns emotional, because you can’t write this many increasingly creative letters without putting something of yourself into them. And so, as they begin to fall in love, these rival time agents begin to wonder how much they actually want to win the war for either side.

Pen pal paradox?

Red and Blue’s entire missions are based on undermining the other side, so very much yes. Empires raised by the Agency’s hand are undone by Garden; Garden’s intel is snatched by the Agency and used against them; multiple Genghis Khans coexist, some of them even peaceful. As Red and Blue chase one another up and down the braid of time, plaiting and yanking out strands, there is no one reality to maintain—only the drive to win one more time than the other side.

Successful delivery or return to sender?

Part of the story’s charm is in Gladstone and El-Mohtar having co-written the novella in person at a retreat and on other visits—ironic considering that Red and Blue are almost never in the same place at the same time.

The worldbuilding is superb, especially in the highly detailed snapshots of dozens of alternate realities, but the true star is the letters themselves, set off from the action like treasured artifacts stored for posterity—when, again ironically, their very existence threatens the fabric of reality. The kind of story that can be stretched (as it will be in the television adaptation, which has been optioned) or condensed as needed, This Is How You Lose the Time War wonderfully delivers on its premise.

facebook

twitter

tumblr

Feature

Movies

Natalie Zutter

Jul 8, 2019

Science Fiction Books

Keanu Reeves

Sandra Bullock

Doctor Who

from Books https://ift.tt/32jDfwz

[thetourguidebarbie]

ANGIEEEE REMEMBER MY DRABBLE! No boner klaus, talk about feelings, or whatever you want to write about! You are the best, thank you.

Happy birthday Mina!! This verges on crack and there’s no smut, but I hope you like it anyway ;)

“Leaving before I woke up. Real classy.”

Klaus looked up from his phone at the vaguely familiar voice to see the witch he’d bedded the night before standing in his living room. She was quite pretty and had a lovely arse, but all in all wasn’t all that memorable. How had she gotten in? One night stands could be clingy, of course, but he wondered if his security was lacking. He realized that she was talking.

“--that I meant nothing to you?”

“Precisely, love. You meant nothing to me,” he confirmed boredly, giving the facade of disinterest and turning back to his phone while still paying attention just in case she tried something. Witches were notoriously petty after all, and she seemed to be nursing a bruised ego.

“How can you be so apathetic? Have you never cared about anyone in your life?”

Visions of long blonde hair and bright blue eyes flashed across his mind, and he scoffed.

“I think that’s a bit harsh from a one-night-stand who overestimates her value.”

He was faintly surprised when she began to chant what he recognized as a common infatuation enchantment, but compulsion of any kind didn’t affect him, and he decided to let her drain herself so there would be less of a fight when he had someone throw her out. He realized that he’d made an error in his calculations when he felt an odd cold creep through his upper thighs and cock, as though someone had held ice underneath the skin.

“What did you do?” he hissed, looking up at her smug face.

“You’ll find out,” she said with a smirk.

He growled, standing and snapping her neck in one easy movement, hoping her death would stop the enchantment. The prickling feeling on his skin didn’t linger and he smirked, waving for a hybrid to come clean up the body before sinking down onto the couch and resuming his previous activities.

He scrolled through instagram, smiling slightly when he saw a beautiful selfie Caroline had taken the day before, the sun hitting her face in a way that gave him the urge to sketch her. Resisting the urge to hit the like button under her caption (Couldn’t resist lol #shamelessselfie #summersun #nofilter), he instead pulled out his sketchbook, glancing at the phone for reference before closing the application and beginning to draw the line of her cheek.

He realized there was something wrong when he shut the door to his bedroom after finishing the sketch, closing his eyes and picturing Caroline with her head thrown back as he nipped her inner thighs, teasing her, always stopping short of her dripping center. Her eyes were half-lidded, her nipples pebbled, tempting him to tease them with his tongue...

His cock didn’t even twitch. He frowned. That image had never failed to turn him on, the fantasy of her soft whimpers as he touched her always made him hard. He touched himself. Nothing. He knew he was turned on, could feel the racing of his pulse, the slight quickening of his breath, but he couldn’t seem to get his cock to harden. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened. The witch had cast a spell to keep him from getting an erection...

He growled, pulling his jeans back up and storming to the library where they kept the grimoires, pulling ones off the shelf that he knew might have something to do with the witch’s spell and reading through them, looking for an incantation similar to an infatuation spell.

Now that it had been activated, he could feel the unsettling prickle underneath his skin.

He found his answer after three hours of flipping through the books and resisted the urge to throw the grimoire against the wall, knowing that he might need it later. Still, the solution the book had to break the spell made fear and insecurity well up within him, the idea of confessing his...feelings to her somehow overwhelming.

Yes, he’d told her how he felt before, but never in a way that wasn’t littered with romantic promises and pretty compliments. It had always been playful teasing as he watched her small smiles and rolls of her eyes, but he’d never been truly honest with her, had never given her a genuine opening to shut him down completely.

He wasn’t sure if he could take seeing her tell him that she truly didn’t want him, that it had all been fun and flattering games but she could never love him. A little voice in the back of his mind insisted that that would be exactly what would happen. He’d go to Virginia and open up, and she’d laugh in his face. He poured himself a glass of bourbon, wryly thinking that whiskey dick had never been a problem for him, but there was certainly no downside now.

He wasn’t sure whether he could take it, but he knew that with vampire sex drive and his tendency to murder entire towns when miffed, if Caroline wasn’t open to his affections now, she certainly wouldn’t be once he’d murdered the entire population of Louisiana because he couldn’t get it up.

He polished off his third bottle by two in the morning, and when he collapsed in bed he’d decided that he’d take a flight up to Richmond the next morning.

As he’d expected, his welcome was not warm.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed, stuffing her textbook into her backpack. “You were supposed to leave me alone after our... our thing in the woods.”

“Trust me, sweetheart, I’d rather not be here either,” he said before inwardly wincing at the hurt that flashed across her face and about to tell her that’s not what he meant when she spoke, her tone clipped and more than a little irritated.

“Why are you here then?”

“I’m under a spell.”

“Do you need me to call Bonnie?”

Her voice was cold, as though she thought he’d come all the way to Mystic Falls just to ask her where to find her friend, and he’d never wanted to murder them more (which was saying something).

“No. I need you,” he said quietly, and she met his eyes warily. “I need...I’ve been cursed.”

“Okay,” Caroline said slowly. “With what?”

There was no good way to say what the effects were. “I am unable to obtain an erection.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” he said.

“What, and you think I’m going to help you... jump-start your boner, or something?”

“In a way, I suppose.”

“I’m not your booty-call.”

“My what?”

She stared at him for a second before rolling her eyes and huffing, the familiar movement making him have to fight down a smile. “Your booty-call. You know, like, sex on-call?”

“Quite the opposite, actually.” She raised an eyebrow, and he sighed. “There’s a way to break the curse, you see.”

“Okay. Can you get to the point? I have psych in like, half an hour,” she checked the clock. “Twenty minutes. You’re stalling.”

“I must confess my...feelings to the object of my affections,” he said, holding her gaze seriously. He felt incredibly uncomfortable now that he’d opened up for her to shut him down, but her eyes widened, and she looked more surprised than like she was going to tell him that she didn’t feel the same way.

“Oh,” Caroline squeaked after a few seconds of silence, and he realized that she’d been just as aware that he’d been spouting off meaningless compliments as he had.

Perhaps she’d thought that he wasn’t completely serious? That when he’d pleasured her in the forest for hours hoping to ruin her for anyone else he had only thought of her as a challenge? Had she thought he was done with her? Been so hostile because she thought he’d been using her? That he didn’t have genuine feelings for her?

Well, to be honest, even he wasn’t completely sure what he felt for her. It was more than lust, but love seemed like too strong a word. Affection, perhaps? Attachment? He certainly wanted her, had pretended he’d convinced himself that it was inevitable for her to choose him. He’d constructed elaborate plans for how to make sure she never left, had visions of taking her around the world and showing her all his favorite places. He wanted to see her smile when she tasted what actual mexican food was like, wanted to watch her admire every tourist trap in Rome that she’d seen on television.

They stood in silence for a few more seconds as he considered his words before he looked her squarely in the eyes. “I care for you,” he said bluntly, hoping the feeling of the magic all over him would disappear, but it didn’t. Caroline raised her eyebrows, clearly about as impressed with the quality of his confession as the spell was. “I think you’re brilliant and kind and beautiful. I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.”

It was true, but the spell didn’t let up, and he almost smiled at Caroline’s huff of annoyance. “You’re like a thousand year old Hallmark movie. ‘I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you’? Seriously?”

“I don’t want to care about you,” he said quietly, and he felt just a bit of the spell lift, as though it knew he was on the right track. He wondered for a moment if not being able to have sex was as excruciating as admitting his deepest insecurities would be. Was it really worth it?

Caroline was still staring at him, though she looked more offended than annoyed, and he knew that this was not going well, but pressed on anyway. “I haven’t felt this way about someone in quite awhile. I haven’t let myself. Then you walked into that gymnasium and I saw the horror in your eyes when you saw what I was doing to the mutt--”

“He’s not a mutt and if this is your confession I’m not sure I want to stick around for it.”

“And I realized that it wasn’t fear of him it was fear for him. Your loyalty and compassion overruled what should have been a very natural fear of a vampire’s only predator. I wanted it. I wanted you. I had Tyler bite you hoping to eliminate the threat. I knew how dangerous my interest was, but I couldn’t let you die that day. The more time I spent with you the worse it got. You’re addictive and brilliant and beautiful and I’ve never wanted so desperately for someone to choose me, and I loathe it.”

Now that he’d started he somehow couldn’t stop, and he wasn’t sure whether it was the spell pulling the truths from his lips or the way she was looking at him, as though she suddenly understood where he was going with his impromptu speech. “I loathe that you have so much control over me. It’s terrifying that you hold my heart in your hands, that you seem to have no inkling of how much power you have...but even more concerning is that I’ve allowed it. I’ve never been unable to forget anyone like this, never been unable to let go, and I can’t let you go, Caroline. I’ve tried, and I can’t.”

She was watching him as he spoke, her head tilted slightly to the side as she listened to him confess things he never thought he’d say out loud, never wanted to say out loud, her face unreadable. After a beat she seemed to realize he was done, and she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, laying her cheek on his shoulder, and he could feel the brush of her eyelashes against his neck when she closed her eyes. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, not quite sure how to respond, not quite sure what this response meant from her, and just as he was getting comfortable, she pulled back, standing on her toes a soft kiss to his lips. “Thanks,” she said quietly, and he wasn’t sure what that meant either. “For sharing, I mean,” she said before wincing at his expression and letting out a sharp breath. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, I know that was a lot of trust for you, weird anti-boner spell or not. So thanks. You know, for trusting me.”

“You’re welcome,” he said quietly, and they stared at each other, his hand drifting down to her waist. It was almost too much, the mixed emotions on her face and the aftermath of that embarrassingly open one-sided confession, and he cleared his throat. “You have class,” he muttered, pulling back, and she snorted.

“You really think I’m leaving you alone after that for class? First of all, it’s psychopathology, and I’m perfectly fine having a hands-on lesson instead of a lecture.”

“I’m not a psychopath, and I believe that’s an area of study devoted to many mental disorders rather than just the one.”

“See? Already learning things,” she said teasingly. “Plus you haven’t even listened to my confession yet.”

“Your confession?” he asked, his lips twitching. “And what’s that, love?”

“I also care about you,” she said bluntly. “And I’m scared too. You’re really old and kind of murderey, which generally isn’t what I go for in guys, you know? I’m worried that someday you’re going to get tired of me and move on to the next girl, or that I’ll get so comfortable with you doing terrible things that I’ll start making excuses for them. I don’t want to lose myself, and I feel like I could if I was with you. I want to try anyway, though. I really, really do. I’ve just been scared to call you because I was worried you just thought I was a challenge and that once we had sex you would laugh in my face if I ever called you again.”

“Caroline, you have to have known--”

“But I didn’t, because I’m just as much of an insecure wimp as you are, so if you could just tone down the freaking out and remember that I’m just as freaked out, it might work out better. Okay?”

He grinned. “What might work better?”

“Us, obviously,” she said.

“And I thought you were just saying you were insecure.”

“I’m insecure, not deaf,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “How about we watch a movie and do dinner, and if you play your cards right I might be willing to help you test if that spell broke first hand.”

They did not make it through the movie, and the spell was, indeed, broken.

[recentanimenews]

Neo Yokio: Pink Christmas is the Greatest Anime Christmas Special

  If you’re like us, there’s a good chance you grew up being surrounded by Christmas; even if you don't celebrate the holiday, it’s pretty hard to escape the festive decorations, music, movies, and television specials that aired in the weeks leading up to the 25th of December. Classic specials like A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rankin Bass stop-motion animation such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (and as an aside, our personal recommendation of the hard to find Life and Adventures of Santa Claus), and almost any popular cartoon character like Garfield, Scooby-Doo, Mickey Mouse, and even Shrek would grace our screens to get in on the festive action. Unfortunately, if you were also like us and a lifelong anime fan, you know that there aren’t really a lot of options when it comes to holiday themed specials to put on for the holidays. Thankfully, last year, we were gifted the greatest anime Christmas special of all: Neo Yokio: Pink Christmas!

Now, I know what you’re thinking: "Neo Yokio? REALLY?? The BEST Christmas special? How is that possible?!" Well, we first need to contemplate the fact that there really aren’t very many anime Christmas specials to begin with. While anime like K-On!, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Toradora! and more have Christmas episodes, these are generally wrapped into the larger and culturally more important holiday of New Year's Day. Further, Japan celebrates Christmas differently than most other places that celebrate it, with the focus of it being a romantic holiday between couples, and some light gift giving between friends, than any of the religious or cultural implications that America or other Western countries ascribe to the Winter holiday.

Basically, while Christmas episodes DO exist in anime, the focus of the holiday and the theming of the episodes is rarely actually ABOUT Christmas at all. Perhaps the best film of the bunch, Tokyo Godfathers, gets closest with its envisioning of the three main characters as modern Wisemen protecting a baby, but otherwise you’ll be hard pressed to hear Christmas carols, original songs, or other traditionally “Christmas” things in anime episodes. 

Neo Yokio, however, has these in spades. From the very beginning, viewers can hear riffs of classic Christmas music playing throughout the special, the ambient sounds of the season filling the space as Kaz moves about the story. Characters debate ugly/gorgeous sweaters, stores are decked in garland and wreaths, and the holiday sights of Neo Yokio’s version of New York, such as Rockefeller Center, are presented in all their holiday glory. It would be hard to escape Christmas in Pink Christmas, as every scene seems to have some festive arrangement of decorations and music, and frankly that’s exactly what should be in a proper Christmas special: inescapable Holiday chotskies. From Rudolph and Frosty to A Muppet Family Christmas, Christmas specials are drenched in the holiday from head to toe.

Anime Christmas episodes tend to feature snow, Santa suits, and maybe a tree or some lights, but they never capture that magical mixture of Holiday warmth that comes from being surrounded by snowmen, reindeer, lights, red, green, and white, mistletoe, tinsel, and more. Even better, this extreme draping of holiday decorative cheer is key to Pink Christmas’ narrative points, making the overtly festive special even better for the way it incorporates everything. 

For the unfamiliar, Neo Yokio is set in an alternative future version of Earth where Mecha Butlers and magic powers aren’t uncommon. The city is sometimes under siege from demonic entities, which rely on Magistocrats to defeat. Kaz Kaan, our pink haired, Jaden Smith-voiced protagonist, is the latest in a line of storied Magistocrats, who balances his familial job with general feelings of melancholy and clout chasing. Neo Yokio is a city in which the most eligible bachelors are ranked on a scoreboard, where Bergdorf Goodman is a way of life, and where money and consumption control everything. In its initial 6 episode season, Neo Yokio attempted to build a world for this concept, but left certain mysteries unanswered, especially where Demons, and Kaz’s powers, even come from.

One of the important aspects of the first season of Neo Yokio was Kaz’s growth, going from an unlikeable protagonist who is too focused on social position, comfort, and his own desires to see anything as it really is, but the season ends before that growth is ever really explored at all. Pink Christmas not only attempts to answer some of the mysteries of Neo Yokio’s overall plot, it also attempts to critique the modern sensibilities of what Christmas is really supposed to be “about,” and whether any of that really matters. Not only that, but the ending of Pink Christmas offers an interesting answer to whether Kaz Kaan has grown at all, offering a hint at what could have been if the show had continued past the movie.

Of course, Neo Yokio was initially fairly controversial when it came out, with many anime fans arguing that the show, produced and directed by Production I.G. and Studio Deen, didn’t qualify as an “anime,” despite its design pedigree. It's fairly obvious that Neo Yokio isn’t just an anime, but one of the most original (and tragically cut short) anime of the ‘10s, taking on topics and ideas that are pretty hard to find in other anime shows. Neo Yokio is also filled with anime references, from the first season’s nod to Ranma ½ to Pink Christmas’ obvious Evangelion trappings (that Secret Santa scene is sublime, really). Neo Yokio is a show for the generation of fans who grew up as celebrities, athletes, and fashion houses turned to anime for inspiration, clout, or simply entertainment. It’s an anime that lovingly pokes fun at anime as much as it does everything else, but saves its true satirical barbs for cultural flaws. The characters of Neo Yokio are likeable in their unlikeable-ness, with Kaz and his crew being dismissive, uppity snobs, yet their obliviousness makes them somewhat endearing to the audience; this is doubly true in Pink Christmas, which ramps up how self-absorbed everyone in Kaz’s world is, lending weight to his decision at the end of the special. 

Many holiday shows focus on Dickensian ideas: family, togetherness, kindness, the “true meaning of Christmas,” and characters that are lost in their attempts at finding meaning in the holiday. Neo Yokio’s cast aren’t really “lost”, because they never cared to be found in the first place; their Christmas is one of shopping, partying, social hobnobbing and who will give the best gift, solely to make themselves look good. Pink Christmas has more than a few Evangelion references in it, and the Secret Santa scene alone is worth the price of admission in this regard, but the creeping sense of dread about what the holiday really “means” is a key part of Pink Christmas that many other holiday stories don’t bother to engage with. The bite of Pink Christmas is what makes it truly special; instead of a heartwarming but somewhat empty tale of holiday cheer, it leaves the viewer with questions to think about after viewing, which in our opinion is a true hallmark of great storytelling. 

  It would perhaps even be possible to say that Pink Christmas succeeds at being the greatest anime Christmas special because it is potentially even better than the original series instead of a holiday cash in. It presents a compact, tight narrative that makes sense, doesn’t require knowledge of Neo Yokio season 1 (but rewards it), and combines its criticism of rampant capitalist consumer culture into a discussion about the Christmas season, topped off with a music and dance sequence, original songs, and an ending that really needs to be seen to be appreciated fully.

  Unlike any Christmas Carol adaptation or Rudolph, Pink Christmas doesn’t try and offer solutions to the human condition or the “real meaning” of Christmas: it is just a sublime, funny, and biting comment about modern, Western Christmas wrapped in an absurd plot. In a lot of ways, the melancholy nature of Pink Christmas seems like an odd mirror to perhaps the special that started it all: A Charlie Brown Christmas, a special that similarly managed to weave together the charm and bite of the Peanuts comic with a discussion of modern concerns about Christmas and what the holiday really meant, if it meant anything. Pink Christmas is like the Lo-Fi Hip Hop remix of Charlie Brown’s Jazz beats, and this unique identity really makes it stand head and shoulders above the rest of anime when it comes to Christmas theme and spirit.

    Neo Yokio really did get the raw end of the deal back in 2017, with numerous voices focusing too intently on whether or not it was “anime” enough to engage with or give the show a chance. Those who actually watched it were surprised by the interesting world and narrative, the sulky, unlikeable Kaz, and the offbeat comedy bits that wormed their way into our hearts. A year later, Pink Christmas returned to really knock the socks off of people who dismissed the original series, with narrator Charles making a few snappy jabs at overly critical responses during the special to boot. Sadly, as seems to be the trend with Netflix shows, the future of Neo Yokio seems grim; as there have been no word on any future developments, it seems safe to say that Neo Yokio truly ended with Pink Christmas, but thankfully we’ll always be able to watch it during the holidays (assuming it doesn’t get delisted). And, if it does eventually go away, you really owe it to yourself to have made sure that you were able to see the greatest anime Christmas special of all time. With that said, we hope you all have a great holiday season with your loved ones. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

Is this your first time in Neo Yokio? What do you think the best Christmas special is? Let us know in the comments!

    ----

Nicole is a features writer and editor for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[highharboe30-blog]

Very best 50 Word of advice At no cost Fortnite Skins!

We have listed underneath a total table associated with everyday logon pays back participants could possibly get in on a daily basis. They convert clearly involving different currencies and are understand simply by literally thousands of games, involving Fortnite. Fortnite is the better multiplayer game nowadays. Several consumers are looking for a approach to free Fortnite skins. As soon as finished, you'll earn a free V-Bucks, with just Day-to-day Quests offer you a lot more than that sum.

10 Best Ways At no cost Fortnite Skins

The overall game can be liberated to fun, but there's a good amount of money for being made by promoting into game partners like persona outfits, guns, skins for all artilleries, and emotes (these kinds of while parties for their own personaes to do). Skins are an exceptionally valuable the main game, just how to obtain free Fortnite skins? Fortnite's unique and also a lesser amount of well-liked horde function provides everyday sign in advantages, everyday obstacle, and prize for Thunderstorm Defend Defense quest. It is because invest in v bucks can get costly because a number of the items priced tag a lot of money like rares. If you do not need phase along with money a person must utilize the Fortnite v bucks generator. rkegames.com are working with taken charge card depth after that the dark world wide web to launder money via the purchase Fortnite's throughout game currency, V-Bucks. On the web you will find many websites offering Fortnite skins free. Being dependent by your current essentials along with degree associated with managed, Fortnite free v-bucks generator can appeal ones v-bucks will need with giving with unique offers obtainable. How this labor, is players will pick a playing a part Creator as a result of often the Battle Royale as well as the Help save The globe shop. The best solution to earn quick currency improvements inside game would be the Fortnite v bucks generator. Happening that argument, you're more or less outside of luck when it comes to a "here's something special greeting card for V-bucks" form of thing. If you want to provide the idea a go The dilemma, if you're definitely not thinking about a function that's a lot more slow than journey, is no matter whether you ought to pick-up the function on its purchase selling price simply to plantation V-Bucks. Lots of populations raise themselves a basic matter - How to get a free skin throughout Fortnite.

No More Mistakes With Fortnite V Bucks!

Regrettably, Fortnite forces you to fork out to have a delicate quantity associated with V-Bucks. Every day that anyone logon you'll be handed a regular reward, with on a daily basis you'll have a very opportunity for that every day prize into the future away like V-bucks. That just about all transpires owing to their own personal currency, V-Bucks. If you finish much more assignment than that, you might certainly not been present exempted any more bonus pay back to the era. Keeping an eye on the move of high benefit supplies in the game, recognizing players with substantial stashes involving V-bucks, as well as piecing data with relevant law enforcement groups” can evade fight which issue. V-bucks become a remarkably essential premium currency throughout Fortnite, then you will discover various mornings street to have your hands about them. Vbucks in Fortnite is usually a type involving currency which can be employed to purchase within game articles for working updates without the usage of real money. It's difficult to earn a lot of Fortnite v bucks. Seeing that Fortnite is often a global sensation many dishonest gamblers making the effort to reap the benefits of gamblers to are looking to get certain another with game tools. In the event you question yourself how to get a free skin inside Fortnite, you'll find the response now. A regular Yahoo or maybe YouTube examination will clear anyone a multitude of findings to request to obtain a person free V-Bucks, this has grow to be these kinds of a well-known conundrum of which Epic includes spoken to this themselves, suggesting gamblers in order to avoid any claim involving free V-Bucks. That's due to a lot of it is players buy V-Bucks, Fortnite's inside game currency. More and more individuals are seeking Fortnite throughout bucks ps4.

Increase Ones Fortnite Free V Bucks With These Suggestions!

All of the Fortnite Battle Royale word of advice you will need, plus Fortnite Android data, free V Bucks, and also Fortnite Server standing up-date. So, your Fortnite surprise credit card generator enables you receive free V-Bucks exhausting the one of a kind codes of which it is possible to earn inside game. In a previous post, I examined the many various strategies you'll be able to earn V-bucks inside Keep the earth Still, I made really go into how numerous you are able to earn each day. Like many of us be aware that, movie games get players collectively. Online you will find more and more matters on Fortnite v bucks ps4. You possibly can earn free V-Bucks using the Fortnite, which is not a poor work. Finishing tornado safeguard vision is there a different fantastic method to get v bucks throughout Fortnite help save the entire world. At once, a joint research through the Independent newspapers in addition to cyber stability organization Sixgill includes revealed of which offenders are spending Fornite's during game currency, VBucks, being a instrument to launder money about the brown web. It turns out that will prisons end up being using Fortnite to decontaminate money in real life and also exploit V-Bucks currency. The term "Fortnite" is really a enrolled hallmark connected with Epic Games Inc. If you want to get Fortnite v bucks you might have to be effective tricky. Only click on the Generate switch referred to below to have Fortnite V-Bucks for free. Epic Games hath got announced a conduct advising gamblers about how you are able to defend ones account along with advise not really to call websites asserting to provide free V-Bucks.

[difficultdivine]

The Enduring Appeal of the ‘Fake Relationship’ Rom-Com

 Hannah Giorgis     

Aug 20, 2018 

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the new Netflix adaptation of Jenny Han’s 2014 novel, brings a sweet, teen-focused approach to one of the most beloved hallmarks of the romantic comedy.

The new Netflix romantic comedy To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, an adaptation of the Jenny Han novel, revels in the in-between. Protagonist Lara Jean Covey (Lana Condor) finds herself perpetually stuck in the middle: She’s the biracial daughter of an American father (John Corbett) and a deceased Korean mother; she’s the second of three sisters. She’s not quite awkward enough to be a social outcast at school, but she’s certainly not as cool as her former best friend, Gen (short for Genevieve), whose heartthrob boyfriend Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo) is their high school’s “king of the cafeteria.”

But for much of the film’s 99-minute run, the most nebulous territory Lara Jean occupies is the space between “real” and “fake” girlfriend. The central tension of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before begins when, unbeknownst to Lara Jean, her little sister, Kitty (Anna Cathcart), mails the love letters Lara Jean has written to her five crushes over the years. “My letters are my most secret possessions,” Lara Jean explains early into the film. “There are five total: Kenny from camp, Peter from seventh grade, Lucas from homecoming, John Ambrose from Model UN, and Josh. I write a letter when I have a crush so intense I don’t know what to do.” That Josh is Lara Jean’s older sister’s boyfriend (and later, ex) renders that specific crush most dangerous. When Peter, the first boy to address Lara Jean’s affections after having received his letter, approaches her on the track field, Lara Jean notices the envelope in his hands and faints. She recovers from the fainting spell only to notice Josh rapidly walking toward her carrying a letter of his own. Lara Jean adopts a swift, uncharacteristic course of action: She pins Peter onto the track and kisses him. Later, bumping into her at a café, Peter gently reiterates his disinterest in Lara Jean and tells her that he and Gen are only newly broken up. In the delightfully awkward conversation that ensues, Lara Jean admits to Peter that she kissed him to avoid the discomfort of Josh thinking that she likes him. The revelation sets Peter’s scheme into motion, and he proposes a perfect, fraudulent solution:

“What if we let people think that we were actually together? Just for a little while. And not just [Josh]. I mean everybody.”

“Why would you want that?” “Well for starters, when Gen heard you kissed me, she went nuts, and if she thinks that you and I are a thing, then she’ll wanna get back together.” “Oh, so you wanna use me as your pawn?” “Ah, well, see … technically, you used me as your pawn first when you jumped me.”

The following day, the two formalize their ruse with a contract. It’s a blissfully naive document, one that unsurprisingly renders itself obsolete throughout the course of their publicity stunt, but it’s not without precedent. To All the Boys breathes new life into the “fake relationship” trope, itself a hallmark of the romantic comedy. Through the accidental courtship of Lara Jean and Peter, the film makes the case for the enduring appeal of artifice as a precursor to genuine connection. Their courtship, contrived though it may be, offers glimpses of sincere warmth throughout the movie. That Peter has fallen for Lara Jean by the time their school’s annual ski trip rolls around isn’t surprising to anyone but Lara Jean herself. The fake-relationship trope endures in no small part because of the same factor that makes the rom-com such a satisfying genre: The mystery is not in what the endpoint itself will be, but in how the would-be lovers will get there.

Any romantic comedy that sees its protagonists entering into a contract, formal or otherwise, to feign attraction lets viewers in on a secret: These two silly dopes don’t know what’s coming, but the rest of us do. In watching two people foolishly assume they can stick to the rules and regulations of a relationship designed for non-amorous motives, audiences gain a double satisfaction: Not only do viewers get to see the requisite rom-com happy ending, but they also get to feel smug about it. What’s more alluring than the opportunity to smirk a bit while feeling wholesome joy?

Lara Jean Covey and Peter Kavinsky may be the newest entrants into the category, but the queen of the fake-relationship rom-com is undoubtedly Sandra Bullock. The star of both 1995’s While You Were Sleeping and 2009’s The Proposal, Bullock is a master of evolving from headstrong and affection-avoidant to unexpectedly smitten. In both films, Bullock’s performance is satisfying because it replicates a nearly universal avoidance of the vulnerability that relationships require. Admitting any attraction is difficult, but admitting to another human being that your pulse has grown to match the cadence of their words, glances, and touches can feel like a willful flaying. Therein lies the central trick of the relationship ruse: Establishing guidelines for how to stay uninvested in another human being is such a tempting, if obviously futile, endeavor. Proximity is, after all, a powerful aphrodisiac. If it’s possible to fall in love within the span of 36 questions, how much more enrapturing is the cocoon of a counterfeit union? In classic teen-romance fashion, Lara Jean and Peter’s first serious conversation about the nature of their fake relationship occurs just a quick step away from the athletic facility that served as the site of their second kiss (the first being the result of a spin-the-bottle game in middle school that enraged Gen and emboldened Lara Jean). In full view of the lacrosse field, the two soon-to-be business associates sketch out their plan at Lara Jean’s behest:

“So, first things first, we need to have a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules.” “You got rules? Come on, you really know how to zap the fun out of a situation.”

The appeal of the rules is, of course, their irrelevance. Not a single one of Lara Jean’s declarations stops Peter from falling for her—or Lara Jean from moving out of her comfort zone (somewhere between the world of literature and the world around her). Again, the protagonists are desperately, deliciously wrong. The fake-relationship rom-com, with its unabashed adherence to the classic formula, thrills in part because most viewers are all too familiar with what it feels like to baldly deny feelings for another person even as they become patently obvious to everyone else. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before may be a teen romance, but Lara Jean’s anxieties about love—that letting people into your life can very easily lead to disappointment should they subsequently walk out—are shared by plenty of adults. And watching Peter slowly fall for her (while respecting Lara Jean’s boundaries, a sticking point that some rom-coms have struggled with) is a welcome contrast to the austerity of the “relationship contract.” As Peter, Centineo is at once bashful and transparent; his voice cracks with enthusiasm, his eyes beam with adoration. The small movements speak volumes. Condor, meanwhile, infuses the ingenue Lara Jean with both wistfulness and gravity; her glances alone convey the depth of Lara Jean’s ill-contained crush on Peter.

It’s thus hard to react with anything but genuine glee as the smitten Peter twirls Lara Jean around in the cafeteria, makes a sojourn all the way across town to get her favorite yogurt drink from the Korean grocery store, and writes her daily notes with an increasing sense of urgency.   None of these acts officially breaks the rules that Lara Jean established for their false union, but that’s the point. Even in the face of self-imposed barriers, love—teenage or otherwise—finds a way to make itself known. To restrict it to the confines of a business agreement in the hopes of suppressing it is to misunderstand the most essential truth about relationships: Love is always a contract. As Peter tells Lara Jean, “You just have to trust.”

[junker-town]

NBA Christmas reimagined as Hallmark movie posters

Happy Ball-idays from the NBA!

There is an abundance of Christmas movies — perhaps an overabundance. While you have your classics like Home Alone, A Christmas Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Die Hard, there is no other entity that does Christmas movies prolifically like Hallmark. (Search the word “Christmas” on their Wikipedia page, and you’ll find it’s the majority of their catalog.) Imagine an alternate universe where the NBA, no longer happy with just having Christmas Day games, decides to have its players act in Christmas movies. What would that be like? Well, it would be just as excessive and cookie-cutter as the stuff Hallmark releases.

A Christmas King

A year after defeating the Warriors in a special exhibition match at the gym in Santa’s Workshop, LeBron James and the Cavaliers return to the North Pole to face Golden State yet again. James, having been awarded a crown for being the game’s MVP, is looking for another win, while Kevin Durant is looking to dethrone James’ spot at the top. However, while traveling, the teams’ shared train breaks down in the middle of Canada, putting the match in jeopardy of not being played, and giving James another year to keep the crown. Durant proposes an unsanctioned basketball match, and there just so happens to be a basketball court right by them. The MVP of this match will leave with the crown, and James’ competitive enough to actually accept Durant’s proposal. Will Durant’s plan work before Santa catches wind of it and tries to stop him?

Christmas with the Balls

The Ball family are headed home for the holidays. Lonzo, fresh off a Lakers win over the Celtics, can’t wait to open presents. Meanwhile, LiAngelo and LaMelo are flying from Lithuania to be reunited with home-cooked meals from their parents. There’s just one thing standing in their the Ball siblings’ way: their father, LaVar, who’s been waiting in the garage all week with a basketball. What’s on his mind? Well, he wants his sons to play against him and Mama Tina. If Lonzo wins, he gets to open his presents early. If LiAngelo and LaMelo win, they get their parents’ recipe. Will the kids dunk on their parents, or will LaVar and Tina earn their bragging rights until next Christmas?

A Holly Jolly Process

Joel Embiid and Kristaps Porzingis have played against each other before, but they’ve never hung out in New York together. That changes this Christmas when the Sixers face the Knicks at Madison Square Garden. The night before their game, a Shirley Temple-filled Embiid gets a text from porzingis saying he wants to hang out and go shoe shopping. Their plan goes awry when rabid Sixers and Knicks fans chase them around New York for autographs for 12 hours straight. What wacky adventures will Embiid and Porzingis get into? And will the heat die down before their Christmas Day match?

Tom Thibodeau’s Non-Stop Sleigh Ride

Santa Claus’ sleigh crashes into Tom Thibodeau’s house hours before Christmas Day. Thibodeau is eager to help an injured Santa however he can, but the task seems so daunting. Santa asks Thibodeau if he could finish the job, and while Thibodeau has never flown a sleigh before, he’s brave enough to try. But with time running out, Thibodeau needs to figure out how to get all the presents delivered before every child wakes up. His solution: A non-stop sleigh ride until sunrise. No breaks. No substitutions. Will one or all of Santa’s reindeer collapse from exhaustion? Yeah, probably.

Kyrie Irving’s Christmas Conspiracy

In this hard-hitting documentary, investigative journalist Kyrie Irving explains why Christmas is not the holiday you think is. In fact, it might not be a holiday at all. How does Santa get from one house to the next in a short amount of time? How can that many reindeer carry a sleigh into the atmosphere? Why is that polar bear drinking a Coke in the North Pole? Irving interviews a long list of scientists and philosophers to get to the bottom of the cold, unsettling truth behind Christmas.

May I Have This Christmas Dance?

The producers behind May I Have This Dance? were overwhelmed by the film’s surprise success that they needed a Christmas version to keep riding the wave and make more money. It’s basically a Christmas version of the original film. Instead of John Wall teaming up with Tessa (Zoe Saldana) to compete in a Fourth of July dance contest in D.C., the two now compete in a Christmas dance contest. In place of the summer jams that rocked theaters, Christmas tunes are now blasting from the speakers. And instead of Johnny (Willem Dafoe) being a pyrotechnic engineer, Johnny is now engineers Christmas lights that sync perfectly to music. The producers behind May I Have This Dance? are banking on the fact that you’ll watch this carbon copy Christmas edition of the film. The fact that they’re letting us be so transparent about this is surprising.

Friends For Christmas

What does it mean to be a friend? What does it truly mean to celebrate Christmas with friends? Director Werner Herzog invited a handful of stars from the Rockets and Thunder for their own Christmas party, to find out what how friendship fits into the realm of a holiday. What will Herzog learn in his newest documentary? What emotions will surface when these friends sit down and reflect on the past year? What fancy clothes will they give one another? We know ball is life (and family sometimes), but what else can ball be?