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pinktwingirl · 4 years

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I rewrote Endgame (AKA Endgame but with Squirrel Girl and Loki)

Hey everyone, so since I think we can all agree Endgame could have used more Loki (and more Stucky!), I wrote some scenes that I think should have been added in. I included Doreen Green (aka Squirrel Girl) because she’s an amazing character and I would love to see her in the MCU! Also, in the comics, she’s a really good friend of Loki’s (and I think we can all agree MCU Loki could use a friend.) For a bit of context, I have a headcanon that the girls Thor got a picture with in Ragnarok were Doreen and her best friend/roommate Nancy, and Doreen was actually plotting to get close to Loki so her pet squirrel Tippy-Toe could plant a tracking device on him and make sure he didn’t get into any trouble while he was on Earth. Some of the scenes during the final battle are meant to be interspersed throughout the sequence, and aren’t really in any particular order. They’re just events that I thought would be cool if they actually happened. Since Endgame didn’t have a post-credits scene, I also added one for good measure! :)

(Also, I didn’t write a scene for it, but let’s just all agree that Steve and Bucky get married and retire to raise goats in Wakanda!)

INT. AVENGERS COMPOUND - DAY

Natasha, Bruce, Steve, Scott, and Rhodey are in a meeting room. Natasha paces back and forth.

NATASHA

We still have a lot we need to get done before we try anything else. Rhodey, have those robbers on 22nd street been identified?

RHODEY

Yeah, just a couple of cheap scumbags. I'm sure the cops can handle them.

NATASHA

Okay... And the subway hijackers?

STEVE

Nat, calm down. Okoye's got it covered.

NATASHA

Well, there's still that attack on Times Square. I don't know about you guys, but I'm not about to let some asshole terrorists try to blackmail the entire district into giving them money or whatever the hell they want-

Bruce flips on a monitor that projects an image on the wall.

BRUCE

Actually... it looks like someone got there before you.

Everyone turns to look at the screen. Natasha and Steve give each other an impressed and amused look, while Rhodey and Scott look at each other in confusion. On the screen, we see a group of men in black armor knocked unconscious and tied together. Next to them is a sign that reads "We got our butts kicked by the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl!!! :)"

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREETS - DAY

We see a pair of boots walking down the street. Behind them trails a gray squirrel with a pink ribbon tied around her neck. The squirrel hops onto the shoulder of her companion, Doreen, who gives her a smile. We cut to her crouching in an abandoned building and typing on a computer screen, which shows surveillance footage of robbers sneaking around. We see the robbers loading their guns and tying up hostages in an alleyway. One of the robbers suddenly notices that his partner is staring at something. He pushes his partner on the shoulder.

ROBBER

Hey, what-

The robbers turn to see what the man is staring at. In the corner are a group of squirrels poised to strike. They slowly turn around and see Squirrel Girl, dressed in full gear and high-tech goggles standing with her arms folded. She smirks.

We then cut to Squirrel Girl attacking the robbers. Despite her small stature, she easily overpowers them. One of the men points a rifle at her, but she grabs it and points it upwards as it fires and kicks him aside. Another man throws a knife at her, but she grabs it with her tail and tosses it away. She then unleashes her knuckle spikes to cut through the mans armor.

We then cut to Doreen untying the victims, with the robbers knocked out beside them. She takes a purse out of one of the robbers' hands and hands it to one of the hostages.

DOREEN

Here ya go!

She walks off with her squirrel army as the hostages look on in awe.

INT. PUBLIC RESTROOM - DAY

Doreen steps out of a stall, where she has changed into a waitress's outfit. She stuffs her gear and clothing into a bag and tidies herself up a little in the mirror. Just as she's about to leave, she notices her tail is sticking out of her dress a little, so she tucks it in.

INT. SUBWAY STATION - DAY

Doreen is waiting for a train. She looks around solemnly. There is hardly anyone at the station even though it's midday. Sighing, pulls her purse strap tighter on her shoulder.

INT. DINER - DAY

Doreen rushes through the diner kitchen where her boss is waiting for her.

DOREEN

Hey.

BOSS

Hey, right on time. How you doin', kid?

DOREEN

Oh, I'm fine. Still no luck on the roommate search, though.

BOSS

Oh, that's a bummer.

DOREEN

How's the dining room looking? Did we make it to half-capacity this time?

BOSS

Eh, not exactly, but...

(He chuckles as he opens the door to the dining room.)

You've got a hell of a first customer.

Doreen's eyes widen when she sees Steve, wearing a baseball cap, sitting at a table by the window. He gives her a friendly wave.

We cut to Doreen sitting across from Steve at the table.

DOREEN

Can I just say, I... I am such a huge fan! Like, even before you came out of the ice, I literally had posters of you all over my wall!

(Beat)

Oh, wait, that's creepy, isn't it?

Steve shrugs.

STEVE

Kinda.

DOREEN

Anyway, I... I never thought you guys would find me. I-I mean, I hoped you would, 'cause you guys are awesome and all, but I just didn't think it would be this soon and... okay, I'll shut up now.

STEVE

So, how exactly does one get squirrel powers, anyway?

DOREEN

Honestly? I have no idea. I was born like this. My DNA is just... different. The doctors told my parents they have a name for people like me. They call us mutants.

STEVE

Mutants? So there are more people with altered DNA?

DOREEN

Supposedly. I mean, I've never met one before.

STEVE

They could be hiding it. You do.

DOREEN

That's true. My parents always told me I had to keep my mutation hidden. They didn't want people to be afraid of me. I didn't want to feel different but... I was always afraid to get close to people.

STEVE

So no one else knows?

DOREEN

My best friend Nancy did, but she... you know... the snap.

STEVE

How many did you lose?

(Beat)

DOREEN

Everyone. My parents. My family. Nancy. Even Mr. Lieberman...

STEVE

Who's Mr. Lieberman?

DOREEN

My pet squirrel.

STEVE

Oh.

DOREEN

But after Thanos, when things started getting bad... I don't know. I couldn't just sit back and do nothing, you know?

(Beat)

Why did you come looking for me?

Steve takes a deep breath.

STEVE

We think we may have found a way to bring them back.

DOREEN

All of them?

STEVE

There's no guarantees, but... we have to at least give this a shot. There's a lot we'll have to fill you in on, though.

(Beat)

DOREEN

I'm not sure how much help I can be. I mean, I doubt most people would be proud to say they were saved by a giant squirrel.

STEVE

I think, when it comes down to it, most people in trouble would be grateful to have anyone.

Doreen smiles and shrugs.

STEVE

Look, I don't know what your folks told you about your abilities. I'm sure they were just trying to protect you. But what you can do? That's a gift. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. And with this plan we have... well, we're gonna need all the help we can get. So, what do you say? Are you in?

Doreen pauses for a moment, then smiles.

DOREEN

Okay.

Steve grins. Suddenly, the boss enters the dining room again.

BOSS

Hey, Doreen, I'm not paying you to fangirl!

DOREEN

Uh, I... sorry...

(She abruptly stands up and takes out her notepad.)

Um... Can I... get you anything?

STEVE

You know, my buddy and I used to eat at this diner when we were kids. I was surprised it's still open.

DOREEN

Really?

STEVE

Yeah. Do you guys still have the best burgers in New York?

DOREEN

I'll let you be the judge of that.

She gives him a wink and heads into the kitchen.

INT. AVENGERS COMPOUND - DAY

Steve leads Tony into the compound, where Doreen is working on a holographic screen.

STEVE

Tony, meet Ms. Doreen Green. Mutant and computer science student at Empire State University.

DOREEN

Uh, former student, actually. I kind of left after the whole world... went to shit.

(She shakes Tony's hand.)

Hi, it's such an honor to meet you! I hope you don't mind, some of your computers systems were a bit outdated so I took the liberty of fixing them for you. Also, I recalibrated the data retrieval and processing systems, so those should be up to speed now.

TONY

(to Steve)

I thought you said she just talked to squirrels.

INT. AVENGERS COMPOUND - DAY

Doreen is showing the photo of her and Nancy with Thor on her phone to Thor.

THOR

Yes, I... I do remember this photo, Lady Doreen. I'm very sorry about your friend.

DOREEN

Well, that's why we're here, isn't it? I really hope Nancy can meet you again when this is all over. She's a huge fan! She named her cat "Mewnir" after your old hammer and even wrote these fan-fiction comics where you were a cat! It was called "Cat Thor"!

Thor raises an eyebrow and smiles.

SCOTT (O.S.)

Thor, clean up your beer cans! This place reeks!

Thor rolls his eyes and leaves. Doreen catches Tony walking around and rushes up to him.

DOREEN

Hey, Tony, could I ask you something?

TONY

You already did.

Doreen rolls her eyes.

DOREEN

I was thinking of bringing your Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing device with us when we go to 2012 New York.

TONY

You mean BARF?

DOREEN

You seriously need to get a better name for that.

TONY

Eh, it sticks in the head better. Why do you want to bring it?

DOREEN

I was thinking of using it on Loki. I didn't want to bring it up in front of Thor, since I figured it's kind of a sore subject for him, but if his brother knows anything about the infinity stones, it could tell us how to use them-

TONY

Absolutely not.

DOREEN

What? Why? Come on, Loki was sent by Thanos to come here, he must know something that could help us!

TONY

Our job is to get the stones and get out. That's it. We're not taking unnecessary risks by messing with people in the past.

DOREEN

I can handle it! Just give me the device! I'll be in and out like that!

TONY

I'm sorry, kid, my answer is no.

(Beat)

Doreen sighs.

DOREEN

Fine.

(She holds up her pet squirrel, Tippy-Toe.)

But can we at least make a time travel suit for Tippy?

INT. 2012 STARK TOWER - DAY

Doreen is snooping around the tower while the Avengers keep an eye on their past selves. She notices Hydra agents disguised as SHIELD agents walking around.

SCOTT (O.S.)

How did you not know those guys were Hydra? I mean, they just look evil!

DOREEN

Wait, those guys are Nazis? Can I punch them?!

TONY (O.S.)

No! Stay focused!

Suddenly, a robotic voice is heard from inside Doreen's utility belt.

VOICE

Binarily augmented retro-framing system activated.

DOREEN

Oh shit.

She frantically reaches in her pocket to try and shut it off.

SCOTT (O.S.)

What was that?

DOREEN

Uh, nothing.

BRUCE (O.S.)

That sounded like your BARF-tech, Tony.

TONY (O.S.)

Uh, I'm sorry, did you steal my BARF-tech?

DOREEN

No, I borrowed it.

STEVE (O.S.)

I'm pretty sure "borrowing" implies that you asked.

DOREEN

I'm gonna give it back!

TONY (O.S.)

You better. You break it, you bought it, fuzzy.

INT. 2012 STARK TOWER - DAY

Loki collapses to the ground from the impact of the Hulk's rampage. Doreen rushes to the scene and freezes when she sees the tesseract lying near him.

DOREEN

Oh no...

She dives on the ground to grab it at the same time as Loki. They look up and face each other, mystified when they realized they are both holding onto the tesseract. With a flash of blue, they disappear together.

EXT. DESERTED PLANET - NIGHT

Doreen slowly opens her eyes, groaning in pain. She lifts herself up and takes in her surroundings. The ground appears to be covered in a deep violet soil and the night sky is pitch black. Aside from a few bare trees in the distance, the place seems empty. Doreen clutches her time device on her wrists and speaks into it.

DOREEN

Hello? Is anyone there? Tony? Steve? Can anyone hear me?

She waits a moment. There is silence on the other end.

DOREEN

Ugh, great.

Suddenly, we see Tippy-Toe in a small time-travel suit rushing towards her and jumping in her arms. Doreen gives her a few gentle strokes on the back.

DOREEN

Hey, buddy.

Tippy-Toe gives a few squeaks.

DOREEN

No, I have no idea where we are.

She stands up and looks around, freezing when she notices what appears to be a crater in the distance. She runs up to it and sees Loki lying in a large hole in the ground, with the tesseract beside him. His body is bleeding and covered in bruises.

DOREEN

Holy shit...

She rushes down the crater to Loki's body and checks him for a pulse.

DOREEN

He's still breathing...

(She takes a bandage out of her utility belt and tosses it to Tippy-Toe.)

Tippy, stop the bleeding while I get the machine set up.

Tippy-Toe squeaks in protest.

DOREEN

Because I said so, now help me out here a little!

Tippy-Toe begrudgingly takes the bandage in her mouth and begins bandaging Loki's head.

DOREEN

Thank you.

(She starts setting up Tony's device.)

Actually... It's a good thing he's unconscious. It'll make this a lot easier.

She turns to look at the tesseract lying on the ground and hesitantly picks it up.

DOREEN

Um... I'll just... take that.

She puts it in a pocket in her utility belt.

We cut to Doreen scrolling through a holographic screen. The device has been set up, with the necessary parts attached to Loki's head.

DOREEN

Here we go...

She presses a button and a flash of blue transforms the area into a spaceship dungeon. Behind her, Doreen hears someone gasping in pain. She turns around to see 2011 Loki being held up by what appears to be an electrical current. His face is pale and sweaty, and his eyes are sunken. Doreen slowly approaches him.

DOREEN

Loki...?

As if momentarily forgetting she is in a simulation, she starts to reach out to touch his face. Suddenly, we hear a door open behind her. Nebula, Gamora, and Thanos enter. Startled, Doreen backs away as they approach Loki.

GAMORA

We found him in the void. He was just floating listlessly.

THANOS

The fallen king of Asgard...

He presses a button on the wall that shuts off the electric current, causing Loki to collapse to the floor. He lets out a weak wail of pain. Thanos and his daughters step closer to him as he slowly lifts up his head to look at them.

LOKI

K-kill me... P-please...

Nebula clicks her knife open, unleashing a large blade.

NEBULA

Shall we oblige him, father?

THANOS

Wait.

(He lifts Loki up.)

Perhaps there is some merit in keeping him alive. He is a boy... Lost... afraid... But I sense ambition in him... A lust for power... He may serve us well if he sees what we can offer him in return.

LOKI

N-no... I... Th-there is nothing... you can offer me... Wh-whatever this is... I want no part of it.

After a pause, Thanos slowly unveils the mind stone scepter with magic in his hand. Wide-eyed, Doreen slowly starts to back away as she looks on.

THANOS

Then again... A little persuasion can't hurt from time to time...

He presses the scepter to Loki's head, causing the mind stone to glow. Loki screams in agony as its power overwhelms him. Doreen gasps and covers her mouth in horror. With a sinister grin, Thanos presses the scepter harder, causing Loki's screams to grow louder. Mortified, Doreen frantically slams the off button on the device, causing the simulation to disappear. As she takes deep breaths, trying to collect herself, we see Loki's body disappear in a flash of green, as the real Loki appears behind her, untouched and unscarred. He was never really injured.

LOKI

I don't know if anyone's ever told you this...

Doreen gasps and whirls around.

LOKI

...but it's quite rude to look into someone else's mind without their permission.

DOREEN

I... I-I'm sorry, I just thought maybe Thanos told you something about the stones-

LOKI

Unfortunately, he did not. Thanos only ever told me what he felt I needed to know.

Doreen slowly backs away as he stalks towards her.

LOKI

I know you have the tesseract in your possession.

Doreen's hand instinctively goes to the pocket in her utility belt.

LOKI

I'm afraid I can't let you leave with that.

As Tippy-Toe jumps on her shoulder, Doreen grabs her time device.

DOREEN

Sorry to disappoint you.

She tries pressing a button on the device to send her back to the present, but nothing happens. As she repeatedly tries pressing the button, she sees a shimmer of green surrounding the device. Suddenly, Loki strikes her from behind. They fight, with Doreen struggling to overpower him. A dagger emerges in Loki's hand and he stabs her shoulder. Doreen screams and grabs his hand before he can strike again. Before Loki's strength can overwhelm her, Doreen unleashes her knuckle spikes and cuts his face, making a gash on his cheek. Loki recoils and raises his hand to the cut in shock. Eyes wide, Doreen backs away and tries to run, but Loki knocks her onto the ground, sending the tesseract flying.

DOREEN

No!

Doreen and Loki continue to fight. At one point, Tippy-Toe jumps onto Loki's face, blocking his vision. As Loki fumbles with the squirrel, Doreen rushes for the tesseract. She dives on the ground, but when she tries to grab it, her hand goes right through it in a green shimmer. Her face falls. It was just another illusion. As she lies on the ground, Loki approaches her, towering over her with a triumphant grin. He has the tesseract in his hand, chuckling darkly.

LOKI

This is who the mighty Avengers sent to stop me? Pathetic.

He kicks Doreen in the face and turns to leave.

DOREEN

If you bring that to Thanos, you're dead. He'll kill you.

Loki pauses and turns around, visibly amused by her comment.

LOKI

Is that so? And pray tell, why would he do that?

DOREEN

Why wouldn't he? You're just a pawn to him. You really think Thanos gives a damn about you? About what you want? He's using you! And you know it!

Loki's smile fades and his jaw tightens.

LOKI

You don't know the first thing about it. It's merely a transaction. I give Thanos the tesseract, he gives me my throne. That's all there is to it.

Doreen picks herself up and tries to approach him, but he blocks her with a green magic shield.

DOREEN

Loki, listen to me, please! The tesseract is one of the infinity stones. If Thanos gets all six, he's going to wipe out half of all life in the universe! Trillions would die, including people on Asgard, and you'd barely even have a kingdom left to rule! Is that what you want?!

Loki freezes in shock.

LOKI

How would you know that?

DOREEN

Because I was there when it happened.

EXT. DESERTED PLANET - NIGHT

Doreen is trying to make a fire with a few bundles of wood she gathered as Loki paces around, visibly troubled.

LOKI

So, Asgard is destroyed... and half the people are dead... Assuming, of course, I am to believe this story of yours.

DOREEN

Oh, I'm sorry, who's the god of lies here?

She gives a little cheer as the wood pile lights up in flames. Loki stops his pacing to look at her.

LOKI

You don't know anything about this planet, do you?

DOREEN

Gee, how could you tell?

LOKI

Well, for one thing, you're burning netmook wood, which emits a toxic fume when set ablaze...

DOREEN

Oh, God!

She frantically kicks dirt onto the fire, extinguishing it.

DOREEN

Why did you even come here, anyway?

LOKI

It's one of the most remote places in the galaxy. It won't stop Thanos' army from finding me... but it'll at least buy me some time.

(He grins.)

And, actually, I was joking about the netmook wood... It's completely harmless.

Doreen scowls at him.

DOREEN

Asshole.

With a wave of Loki's hand, a green fire appears on the wood pile. Doreen sits down to warm her hands. A green shimmer appears on her face, and she touches her cheek, where a cut has disappeared.

DOREEN

Thanks.

Loki sits down beside her.

LOKI

How is Thor?

(Beat)

DOREEN

Miserable. He's changed... a lot.

(Beat)

He really misses you. You were the only family he had left.

Loki looks down solemnly for a moment, then glances at Doreen.

LOKI

You know, I don't recall most mortals having a tail.

Doreen lets out a light laugh.

DOREEN

They don't. I was born different. I've had to hide it my whole life... well, at least until now.

LOKI

I... suppose I understand what that's like. I'm actually not Asgardian. I was born a Frost Giant. But I didn't know until I was much older. Of course, then I knew everyone would fear me for what I was...

(Beat)

DOREEN

I thought that if I could be an Avenger, I could at least make the most out of being different. I looked up to them for years... I thought if I could prove myself to them, maybe I wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. But I was so stupid! I should've known I wasn't cut out for this... I stole Tony's tech for nothing and now I've messed up their entire plan... I couldn't even face you without getting my ass kicked!

Loki clears his throat awkwardly.

LOKI

Well, um... you were quite an impressive fighter... for a mortal, that is. I-I didn't really mean what I said earlier, I was just trying to intimidate you... Of course, your stance could use work, and your techniques are a bit sloppy-

DOREEN

Wait, are you trying to make me feel better?

LOKI

What? Well, I-

DOREEN

Because that's... actually really sweet. I mean, you completely suck at it, but...

Loki rolls his eyes and stands up to leave.

DOREEN

No, no, no, I'm just kidding! Sorry, I... It was just a joke. Thanks, really.

Loki smiles a little and sits back down.

LOKI

In all seriousness, you are stronger than you believe. Having faith in yourself is the most powerful weapon you can possess.

Doreen smiles and nods.

DOREEN

Loki, I... about what Thanos... what he did to you... I had no idea. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Loki turns away, his expression solemn.

DOREEN

Why didn't you tell anyone?

Loki lets out a bitter laugh.

LOKI

You honestly think anyone would believe me if I had?

Doreen's face falls. Suddenly, Tippy-Toe starts angrily squeaking at him.

DOREEN

Oh, uh, this is Tippy-Toe. Sorry, she kind of hates you 'cause she said your Chitauri army blew up her stash of acorns back in New York...

LOKI

I know. She's expressing her anger with rather foul language.

DOREEN

You speak squirrelese?

LOKI

I have the power of all-speak. It allows me to understand all languages in the universe.

Doreen looks impressed.

LOKI

Does it... feel better to be open with your identity now?

DOREEN

I don't know. It's... weird, definitely, but... I think in a good way. I'm just not used to it. My dad was always so strict about keeping it a secret. I love him and I miss him, but he could be really hard on me sometimes. I guess... he just wanted to keep me safe.

(Beat)

LOKI

My birth father abandoned me and left me to die because he thought I was too small.

(Beat)

DOREEN

Wow. What a dick.

(After a pause, she stands up.)

Loki, I know this is a lot to process, but I really can't leave here without the tesseract.

Loki stands up as well.

LOKI

Doreen, I am sorry, truly I am, but I can't give it to you. I know your future is in peril, but I have my own future to think about. The tesseract is the only bargaining chip I have against Thanos. If he truly is as ruthless as you say, giving it to him might be the only way to convince him to spare my life.

DOREEN

I could bring it back! After we're done with it in the future, I could bring it here to this exact spot in time. It would be like it never left!

Loki scoffs and starts to object, but Doreen interrupts him.

DOREEN

And because I know you think I'm going to double-cross you... Tippy?

Tippy-Toe's ears perk up.

DOREEN

You stay here with Loki until I come back, okay?

Tippy-Toe lets out a few squeaks in protest, but reluctantly hops to Loki's side.

DOREEN

Now I have to keep my promise!

LOKI

Even so, this is beyond risky. What if you don't make it back?

DOREEN

You told me to have faith in myself. Now I'm asking you to have a little faith in me.

Loki looks down and shakes his head.

LOKI

I would be the biggest fool in the nine realms to leave my fate in the hands of a mortal...

Doreen's face falls. After a moment, Loki extends his hand, where the tesseract appears. He places it in Doreen's hands.

LOKI

Then again... I've been a fool for so long now... One more time couldn't hurt.

Doreen looks down at the tesseract in her hands in disbelief. When she meets Loki's eyes again, he gives her a small nod. Ecstatic, she grins and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Shocked, he recoils back slightly.

DOREEN

Oh, Loki, thank you! I won't let you down, I promise!

Suddenly, Loki freezes. He makes a strangled, choking sound as his face contorts in terror.

DOREEN

Loki...?

Loki collapses on the ground and starts convulsing, gasping for air.

DOREEN

Loki?! What's happening?!

She grabs him and turns his face towards hers.

LOKI

(in a strangled voice)

Go!

Horrified, Doreen looks up to see THE OTHER materializing onto the planet.

We cut to The Other stalking toward Loki, clenching his fist, making Loki's choke harder. Doreen is nowhere to be seen. Loki lets out an agonized groan.

THE OTHER

You fool... You really thought you could run from us? I told you there would be no escape.

(He glances at the tesseract, which is lying beside Loki.)

Now, you will give Him what is rightfully His...

The Other reaches to collect the tesseract, only to have it disappear in a green shimmer. It was just an illusion. Furious, The Other looks up to see Loki giving him a weak grin.

THE OTHER

You knave! Where is the tesseract?!

We cut to Doreen and Tippy-Toe running away. Doreen crouches behind a purple rock and starts to set the time-travel device for the present. As she is about to press the button to go home, she glances back at Loki, who is screaming in agony as The Other shocks him with his scepter. She bites her lip in contemplation.

We cut to The Other brutally torturing Loki with his scepter.

THE OTHER

Tell me where it is!

LOKI

(Weakly)

I would rather die.

THE OTHER

As you wish...

The Other strengthens his choke on Loki, watching as the life starts to drain out of his eyes. Suddenly, a surge of blue power blasts The Other out of the way. Gasping for air, Loki rolls over to see what happened. His eyes widen. Doreen is holding the tesseract, her body glowing with a blue haze. She is wielding its power. As The Other moves to attack, she strikes again. Loki and Doreen begin fighting him together, Loki with his magic, and Doreen with her powers and the tesseract. Eventually, Doreen is caught in a standoff with The Other. They are both grasping the tesseract, trying to take it from the other. A few cracks start to form on the cube. Doreen's eyes widen. Suddenly, the cube bursts, sending Doreen and The Other flying. Loki rushes over to Doreen, helping her up.

LOKI

Are you alright?

Doreen looks up, her face falling at what she sees. The Other is lying dead on the ground, with smoke rising from his body. Beside him, the tesseract has shattered into hundreds of pieces.

DOREEN

No, no, no, no...

She desperately tries to scramble up as many pieces as she can, but it is no use. Defeated, she collapses back onto the ground.

LOKI

What were you thinking?! I told you to go!

DOREEN

I couldn't!

LOKI

Why?! Your world was at stake, you should've left when you had the chance-

DOREEN

I wasn't just gonna let you die!

Loki freezes. After a pause, he slowly sinks to kneel beside her as she cries.

DOREEN

What have I done...? This is all my fault... The Avengers... Everything they've done, I've just wasted... I'm a failure...

LOKI

Doreen, look at me.

Doreen glances at him with teary eyes.

LOKI

You are no failure. What you did... I've never seen anyone wield the tesseract like that. You unlocked its power. It chose you.

DOREEN

Why? I... I don't understand...

LOKI

You don't have to.

Doreen sniffles and wipes her eyes.

DOREEN

At least... with the tesseract destroyed... your future is safe. Thanos can never collect all of the stones now.

Loki looks down with guilt.

LOKI

What about your future?

Doreen looks down.

DOREEN

We'll... we'll be okay. I guess... we'll just have to move on.

They both stand.

DOREEN

I... I'd... better go.

(Tippy-Toe hops on her shoulder again.)

What will you do?

LOKI

I suppose I'll have to stay here until the bifrost is rebuilt. After that... well, my father will most likely imprison me for my crimes.

DOREEN

Please tell them the truth about what happened to you. Even if your father doesn't believe you... I'm sure Thor will. Someone has to.

Loki nods slowly.

LOKI

Alright.

Doreen adjusts her time travel device on her wrist and glances at Loki one last time. They exchange a sad look. Suddenly, Doreen hugs him.

DOREEN

Goodbye, Loki.

She and Tippy-Toe disappear. Loki is left looking over the area where they were for a moment. As he starts to walk away, he suddenly notices the tesseract shards beginning to rise...

INT. AVENGERS COMPOUND - DAY

The Avengers all return from their time travel journeys... all except for Natasha. Doreen immediately rushes towards Tony.

DOREEN

(Rapidly)

Tony, I'm so sorry, I couldn't get the tesseract back, I really tried-

TONY

Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, kid. We got the tesseract.

Doreen freezes.

DOREEN

You did?!

Tony nods and taps his briefcase.

DOREEN

Oh, thank God...

Everyone freezes when they notice Clint standing without Nat.

BRUCE

Clint? Where's Nat?

Clint collapses to his knees.

INT. AVENGERS COMPOUND - DAY

As Tony is working on the gauntlet, a hand suddenly places the BARF-tech device on his desk. Tony raises an eyebrow to see Doreen standing there with her head down. He picks up the device to examine it.

DOREEN

I'm sorry I stole your tech. I was just trying to prove that I could do something useful. I know that's really stupid and immature, and I totally get it if you want me to leave. I can pack my stuff up now-

TONY

Do you know how long it took my guys to program this thing to work on an unconscious brain?

DOREEN

Huh?

TONY

Two months. It took them two months to do what you did in two minutes.

Doreen freezes.

DOREEN

I...

TONY

You know, I took a look at your records from Empire State. You were one impressive student. Top of your class. Why'd you leave?

DOREEN

I... I don't know. I guess... after Thanos, I just didn't really see the point anymore.

Tony thinks for a moment.

TONY

I actually had to put the augmented reality department on hold for a little bit. We had some issues with the guy that was running it a couple years back, and higher-ups were complaining about costs, but since I don't have to worry about that anymore... I want you to hang onto this.

(Beat)

DOREEN

Are you serious?

TONY

Totally serious. Tinker around with it a little, see what you can do. We could use a new face handling the department.

He extends his hand for Doreen to take it.

DOREEN

I... oh my God, I-

He pulls his hand away before she can take it.

TONY

On one condition: Whatever happens today, whether we win or lose, you go back to school. Get your degree. Get your shit together. Because you've got a brilliant mind and I don't want to see that go to waste, you understand me?

Doreen grins.

DOREEN

Okay.

TONY

You sure?

DOREEN

Yeah.

TONY

You promise?

DOREEN

Uh huh.

TONY

Okay.

He hands her the device and heads out.

TONY (O.S.)

And next time you steal one of my gadgets, be sure to return it on time or I'm gonna start charging late fees!

Doreen grins.

INT. UNDERGROUND RUINS - DAY

After the explosion that destroyed the Avengers Compound, Doreen wakes up underground, surrounded by a pile of rubble. She sits up and sees her high-tech goggles have been crushed.

DOREEN

Shit...

She tosses them and tries to stand up, letting out a cry of pain. Her leg has a huge gash in it. Working quickly, she takes out a bandage roll from her utility belt and patches up her leg. Suddenly, she sees something glowing from underneath a pile of rubble. She stands up and cleans the object off. It is Tony's gauntlet.

DOREEN

Oh my God...

She scoops it in her arms, trying to make her way out of the maze of ruins. She suddenly bumps into Clint.

DOREEN

Oof! Oh... hey, are you okay?

Clint dusts himself off.

CLINT

Yeah, I'm fine. What the hell happened?

DOREEN

I think someone followed us from the past.

Clint glances at the gauntlet in Doreen's arms.

CLINT

Well, whoever they are, we need to make sure they don't get their hands on that. Did you see where-

They suddenly hear a low growling sound in the distance. Clint readies his bow, aiming at the sound. Through the dim emergency light of the tunnels, they can see the outlines of Thanos' monsters creeping towards them. Doreen whistles and hands him the gauntlet.

DOREEN

Here. Take this. We'll deal with them.

CLINT

"We"?

DOREEN

Yeah! I called for backup!

Suddenly, a giant group of squirrels squeezes through the cracks in the rubble, ready to fight. Clint takes the gauntlet and flees. Doreen and her army rush towards the monsters and begin fighting.

We cut to another part of the ruins, where Rocket is scrambling to make his way out. Water is pooling into the area, threatening to drown him.

ROCKET

Hey! Can anyone hear me?! I need help! Get me out of here!

We see Scott, in his microscopic form, in another area.

SCOTT

I hear you! Just give me a second!

ROCKET

I don't have a second!

Scott starts running.

SCOTT

I'm trying to get to you, buddy, but I don't know how long it's going to take! I don't think it's safe to expand here...

DOREEN

Ooh! I can help with that! Hey, Monkey Joe, could you give the nice man a lift?

SCOTT

Monkey who?!

He sees a squirrel barreling towards him.

SCOTT

WHAT THE-?!

Monkey Joe tosses Scott onto his back and starts running towards Rocket. Once he reaches him, Scott is able to get them both to safety.

We cut to Doreen and the squirrels fighting the monsters. Tippy-Toe tries to attack one, but it rips it off its face and tosses it aside.

DOREEN

HEY!

She pounces on it and begins beating it with her fists, emphasizing each word with a punch.

DOREEN

NOBODY! TOUCHES! MY! PET! SQUIRREL!

We cut to Rocket holding a grenade.

ROCKET

I got it. This'll blast those creepy suckers outta the sky.

He presses a button, activating the grenade, and drops it down into the ruins.

SCOTT

Isn't Doreen still down there?

(Beat.)

ROCKET

Oops...

We cut to Doreen fighting the monsters. Suddenly, she notices all of the squirrels are disappearing into the cracks.

DOREEN

Huh? Hey, where are you guys all going?

(She freezes when she sees the grenade by her feet.)

Gah!

As the explosion rocks the tunnels, Scott and Rocket wince. They suddenly see Doreen crawling out of the ruins. She is panting and covered in soot.

DOREEN

Would you guys mind giving me a heads-up before you send in the grenade next time?

Rocket and Scott give her a sheepish grin.

EXT. BATTLEFIELD - DAY

Everyone who was dusted is emerging from the portals. Dr. Strange looks around at all of the people gathered.

STEPHEN

Is that everyone?

WONG

What, you wanted more?

STEPHEN

Wait, hang on.

He forms another portal where present-day Loki falls onto the ground. Loki dusts himself off and scowls at Stephen.

LOKI

Do you have to do that every time?!

Stephen shrugs. Thor freezes when he sees his brother standing before him. Loki's face falls as Thor begins to walk toward him slowly, his expression dark and unreadable. Loki starts to back away.

LOKI

(Quickly)

Look, I realize this is becoming something of a tradition between us, but I swear it was all for the best. If you would just give me a moment to explain, I'm sure you would understand that my death was in Asgard's best interest and I had no other alternative but to-

He freezes when he see's Thor's new physique... or lack thereof.

LOKI

What... the hell... happened to YOOOOUUU-

Thor squeezes him with a bone-crushing hug. When he lets go, there are tears in his eyes.

THOR

It's good to have you back, Loki.

Loki smiles, his own eyes beginning to well up.

LOKI

It's good to see you too, brother.

THOR

How have you come back?

LOKI

Well... I was resting in the afterlife, when I received a visit from my past self. He told me of a very special mortal who saved his life and granted him the tesseract, which allowed him to travel through time. It also gave me the power to restore my body and return my soul to the land of the living.

He winks at Doreen, who blushes and grins.

LOKI

Still... it was a shame to leave. It was wonderful to see mother again. Valhalla is also quite lovely this time of year...

DOREEN

Wait... I thought the tesseract was destroyed!

Loki smirks and conjures up the tesseract in his hand. Doreen's jaw drops.

DOREEN

Wh-?

(She laughs.)

You really are an asshole, you know that?

They hear someone clear their throat behind them. Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Clint look at them with a stern, distrustful glance.

BRUCE

What is he doing here?

LOKI

I've come here to aid you in your fight against Thanos.

TONY

Yeah, last time you were here, you were working for Thanos.

DOREEN

That wasn't his choice. Tony, I saw what happened to him. Thanos tortured him. He forced him into it.

LOKI

I know I am far from blameless for what has happened. But I have a score to settle with Thanos too. And I want to help my people, same as all of you.

STEVE

Why should we trust you now?

(Beat)

LOKI

I've got red in my ledger... I'd like to wipe it out.

Clint's eyes widen. After a moment, a hint of a smile grows on his face.

We cut to Thor lifting Doreen up with a crushing hug.

THOR

Thank you for bringing my brother back, Lady Doreen!

DOREEN

Oof!

(She awkwardly pats him on the back.)

Yep, I love you too, big guy...

An assortment of scenes during the battle (in no particular order)

During the scene where all of the female Avengers team up, Loki starts to join them, but Doreen stops him.

DOREEN

Hey! Um, excuse me? Ladies first!

Loki shifts into LADY LOKI.

LADY LOKI

Is this better?

Doreen smirks.

DOREEN

You're hilarious.

We cut to Loki and Doreen fighting together. A monster sends a rock tumbling towards them and appears to crush them. Suddenly, a hand taps the monster on the shoulder from behind. The monster turns around and a green shimmer reveals the real Loki and Doreen. Doreen punches the monster, sending him flying. Doreen and Loki smirk and share a fist bump.

We cut to Thor and Loki fighting together.

THOR

We should do get help-

LOKI

Don't even think about it.

We cut to Clint, who is fighting off some of the monsters. As they begin to gang up on him, they start to overwhelm him. He collapses to the ground, trying to push them off of him. Just as one is about to slit his throat, it is stabbed from behind. The rest are magicked away. The stabbed monster collapses and we see Loki standing behind it. Clint stares at him in awe.

CLINT

Thanks...

LOKI

Don't mention it.

We cut to Dr. Strange, Wanda, and Loki standing together. The camera pans around the trio as they charge up their magic.

STEPHEN

God, these things are everywhere...

LOKI

What, you've never fought a demonic horde before? Thor and I used to do it every week. It's a been our favorite past time since we were children!

STEPHEN

Good for you. You don't need to brag.

WANDA

Will both of you shut up?

As she flies off, Stephen and Loki raise an eyebrow at each other.

We cut to Wanda as she uses her magic to lift Thanos up, along with several rocks. Doreen jumps onto the rocks to leap onto Thanos’ shoulder, unleashing her knuckle spikes and digging them into his face. Thanos screams, overwhelmed by the two women attacking him. Using the stones, he eventually manages to send Doreen and Wanda flying. As he turns away, we see that Doreen has gouged his eye out. Wanda uses her magic to clear a pile of rocks off of Doreen.

DOREEN

Oof! Thanks

(She extends her hand to Wanda.)

Oh! Hi! I’m Doreen!

Wanda smiles.

After Tony's death, all the Avengers begin to kneel. Loki is standing by Doreen and Thor's side, both of whom are crying. After hesitating, Loki kneels beside them, looking at Tony's body solemnly.

EXT. LAKE HOUSE - DAY

At Tony's funeral, we see Nancy hugging Doreen, who is crying. Later, Doreen approaches Loki, who is standing alone on the porch.

DOREEN

Loki...

He turns around at the sound of her voice.

DOREEN

I... wanted to say thank you.

LOKI

Whatever for?

DOREEN

For believing in me. When I didn't believe in myself.

(Beat)

Well, I guess that wasn't you, you, it was the past you, but... whatever, it still counts.

Loki smiles.

LOKI

No, my dear, it is I who should be thanking you. You showed me unconditional kindness when no one else did.

(He gives a small bow.)

My most sincere gratitude, Lady Doreen. I owe you my life. I don't know how I could ever repay you.

Tippy-Toe crawls on his shoulder and squeaks at him.

DOREEN

You could start by giving Tippy those acorns you owe her. You know... whenever you get the chance.

LOKI

I will... certainly make a note of that.

He gives Tippy-Toe a few awkward pets.

DOREEN

So, now what? Are you gonna try and take over New Asgard?

Loki laughs.

LOKI

I think Asgard has had enough of my rule. No, I believe I'll accompany my brother on whatever ridiculous journeys he has planned. We do have a lot of catching up to do, after all. Also...

(He conjures the tesseract in his hand.)

I believe this will allow me to travel to some... entertaining places in time. I trust you won't tell anyone?

DOREEN

Well, I don't know, that depends. Are you gonna kill anybody?

Loki laughs.

LOKI

I will try to avoid it.

Doreen shrugs.

DOREEN

Eh, good enough for me.

LOKI

What about you? What will you do?

DOREEN

Well, I made a promise to Tony that I'd go back to school, so that's what I'm gonna do. Besides, I couldn't let Nancy finish her senior year of college alone.

They turn to Nancy, who is enthusiastically showing Thor her "Cat Thor" comics in the distance.

NANCY

And this is Cat Thor's mighty hammer, Mewnir, which he uses to defeat the evil Laufur, leader of the bad dogs!

DOREEN

She's a big fan.

Loki chuckles.

DOREEN

How did the past you know to find you in Valhalla?

LOKI

He didn't. He had a little help... with this.

(He tosses the tracking device she placed on him to her.)

A word of advice: Next time you want to track someone, do tell Tippy-Toe to be more subtle about it.

Doreen grins sheepishly.

LOKI

Of course, I expected all of you to enact your little time-travel experiment three days earlier, but better late than never, I suppose...

Doreen freezes.

DOREEN

You knew what was going to happen...

LOKI

But of course! Why do you think I got myself killed by Thanos in the first place? My plan was risky, but at least if I died, Thanos wouldn't be able to stop me.

DOREEN

(Slowly understanding)

Thanos couldn't kill you if you were already dead... But... but how did you know I would get my hands on the tesseract? And use its power and everything? And...

LOKI

My gift of foresight may not be as strong as my mother's, but...

(He winks at her.)

I know a special mortal when I see one.

Doreen blushes.

DOREEN

Oh! I almost forgot!

She hands him a golden locket with an imprint of his helmet.

DOREEN

I made this for you. I wanted to apologize for, you know... stalking you without your permission. This locket lets me see where you are if you're ever in trouble. If you need me at all, I'll be there.

(Beat)

I know it's not much, but... I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me.

LOKI

So... your way of apologizing to me for tracking my location is... tracking my location again?

DOREEN

I can only see it if you want me to!

(She pulls out a matching locket.)

I have one too, see? Just press this button here, and I can see where you are, anywhere in the galaxy.

She presses the button and a holographic screen of their location appears on both of their lockets.

DOREEN

I also put your little horns on it, 'cause I thought it'd be cute!

Loki smiles as she shuts the lockets off.

LOKI

I'll keep it with me. I promise.

DOREEN

Well... I guess I'll see you around. Bye, Loki.

LOKI

Goodbye, Doreen.

She heads off, leaving Loki to admire his new gift. Suddenly, she runs back and hugs him, catching him off-guard. After a moment of confusion, he smiles and returns the hug.

INT. STARK HOUSEHOLD - DAY

Post-Credits Scene

Doreen and Morgan are sitting in Morgan's room, where they are talking to Thor, Loki, and the Guardians of the Galaxy through a holographic screen. Thor is swigging a glass of whiskey as they talk.

DOREEN

See, this is why I'm the best nanny. Like, who else is gonna let you facetime with people thousands of light years away?

DRAX

Enough stalling. We must resume our game.

DOREEN

Right. Whose turn is it?

MANTIS

I believe it is Loki's turn!

DOREEN

Okay, Loki, truth or dare?

LOKI

Hmm... Truth.

THOR

Oh, please, you're incapable of telling the truth.

LOKI

I am not!

DOREEN

Okay... is it true that you did it with a horse?

LOKI

What?

DOREEN

Because I read in a Norse mythology book that you did it with a horse and then gave birth to a horse with eight legs, and... I don't know, that just seems super weird, like even for you.

Thor and the Guardians of the Galaxy snicker.

MORGAN

What did he do with a horse?

DOREEN

Uh... I'll tell you when you're older.

Drax turns to Loki.

DRAX

I am impressed, my friend. I did not know that equestrian women were your type.

LOKI

They're not! Those rubbish Midgardian books are full of lies!

THOR

I don't know, brother, you always seemed fond of the horses in the royal stables growing up...

ROCKET

Is that why you did it with a horse?

LOKI

I didn't do anything with a horse!

DOREEN

Okay, okay, guys, let him be. I'm just teasing. Whose turn is it next?

QUILL

I think it's your turn, Doreen. Truth or dare?

DOREEN

Hmm... I'll do a dare. Let's let Morgan decide! Morgan, what should I do?

Morgan whispers in her ear, and Doreen grins devilishly.

DOREEN

Ooh, yes! Okay, hang on a second.

She disappears into the next room. Suddenly, we see a flash of blue from the other room.

EXT. 2011 ASGARD - NIGHT

Doreen time travels to 2011 Asgard, where Thor is confronting Loki at the bifrost.

THOR

Why have you done this?!

LOKI

To prove to father that I am a worthy son! When he wakes, I will have saved his life. I will have destroyed that race of monsters, and I will be true heir to the throne-

Suddenly, they are both hit with Valkyrie's obedience disks, which electrocute them both and cause them to collapse on the ground. Doreen, in her time-travel suit, steps over them.

DOREEN

Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt your little, uh, family drama over here. Do you mind if I borrow that really quick?

She scoops Loki's helmet off his head as he and Thor give her confused, exasperated looks as they convulse on the ground. She fumbles with the helmet, trying to place it on her head.

DOREEN

Oh my God, how do you wear this thing?

She manages to clumsily place it lopsided on her head.

DOREEN

Well, uh, thanks for that. I hope you can both resolve your issues in a peaceful, non-violent manner.

(She looks at Thor.)

Nice look, by the way. Really rocking the, uh, blonde eyebrows. Anyways, I got places to be, so I'll see ya!

(She starts to press her time-travel device on her wrist, but freezes.)

Ooh! I almost forgot!

INT. STARK HOUSEHOLD - DAY

With a flash of blue, Doreen rushes back into Morgan's room wearing Loki's helmet and holding Mjolnir. Everyone stares at her, jaws dropped and eyes widened.

DOREEN

Okay, I did it!

(She swings the hammer around.)

You know, this bad boy actually isn't as heavy as I thought it would be. I do have to return this stuff soon, though. I kind of left 2011 Thor and Loki electrocuted on the ground, and they'll probably be mad about that.

(Beat)

Anyway, whose turn is it next?

Frozen stock still, everyone continues to stare at her. Thor drops his whiskey glass on the ground.

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