#and you had a brief moment of “oh someone wants to befriend me!” but then no it's another fuckin bot they don't love me at all :(

[nostalgia-tblr]

There was this one time, it feels like ages back, when I got followed on tumblr dot com by an actual human being.

[miley1442111]

stalker- s.reid

a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)

summary: spencer saves you.

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: general criminal minds topics, gore and brief descriptions of harm, mutual pining, heavy topics, stalking, reader if from Texas

Spencer sat at his desk, a less than pleasant expression on his face. His glasses had slid down his nose, his usually perfectly gelled hair was messy, and a frown played at his lips. 

“If you stare any longer you’re going to end up with your face stuck like that,” Jj joked as she placed herself in his eyeline. Spencer’s frown deepened and Jj chuckled. “Come on, we have a case.”

Spencer got up, falling into stride with you as you left your desk, hanging up the phone.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked, trying to make small talk. You were new to the team, an old contractor Strauss had hand-picked, you were smart (smarter than him), beautiful, and you were so polite and dutiful that Spencer couldn’t tell if you were actually his friend. You just had an air of coolness that seemed so unreachable for Spencer. You and Derek had worked together in Chicago, you two made sense as friends, Penelope, Emily, Jj, and you all got along well, that made sense. David and you had a shared love of cooking, something SPencer couldn’t even begin to understand. You even made Aaron laugh on the worst of days with some witty comment or sarcastic joke. 

Had Derek just asked you to befriend Spencer for the team's sake? Why would you be interested in him? It made no sense.

You smiled. “My friend from home.”

“Where are you from?” He asked as you two sat in the conference room, Aaron shot you two a look that Spencer clearly didn’t see so you didn’t answer. 

“Tell you later,” you whispered as the briefing began. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the sweltering heat of Texas from the lovely air-conditioned plane was quite the shock to the body. 

“Fuck it’s hot,” you sighed, pulling off your hoodie to reveal a tight black top beneath. Yes, it was work-appropriate and completely within regulations, but Spencer’s eyes all but popped out of his head like he was in one of those cartoons. 

“You’re drooling,” Derek joked from beside him, pretending to wipe his chin. Spencer pushed his hands away with a shy smile, trying to recover from his embarrassing moment. 

“Ok, Spencer and Derek you two go to the latest crime scene, Y/n, Jj and I will go to the precinct, David and Emily you two will go talk to the deceased family,” Aaron gave out jobs. “Oh and Y/n, I want you with someone at all times, this unSub is going after women with your exact description and our team is a definite hit for him. He’s made contact with the police asking specifically for you and me,” Aaron explained. 

You all dispersed into your separate cars and began working the case. The precinct was full of slimy cops who all promised to ‘protect you’, just not from themselves.

“We want you to wear this,” Jj handed you a bulletproof vest and you rolled your eyes. 

“Seriously? I’m not a porcelain doll, I can handle myself-” You tried to reason with them but the look on Aaron’s face made you stop. He, himself, was wearing one too. “Fine.”

“Good,” Jj smiled. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spencer was worrying himself sick at the crime scene, rambling about all the ways the unSub could get to you and how you shouldn’t even be in the state.

“Spencer!” Derek exclaimed. “Go to your girlfriend, send Jj back after you. You’re no help when you’re like this.”

Spencer didn’t take kindly to the small jest, but he didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the keys and drove down to the precinct, finding Jj immediately and making up a poorly executed lie about feeling sick. She saw right through him.

“Hope you feel better Spence,” she smirked. “Y/n is with Hotch interviewing a suspect here,” she pointed it out on a map. “See you later.”

After grabbing the keys to Emily and David’s vehicle (they’d just come back from the crime scene) and driving there, anxiety ran through him as he found the door to the farmhouse open. He turned the corner, finding three figures. One was on the floor, shouting in agony, the other was standing, hands above their head. The third was holding a gun.

He turned back, dialling Derek’s number. 

“We need back-up, we’re at 34 Terrace Avenue! Agent down!” He spoke quietly into his phone. 

“We’re on the way kid, don’t go in without back-up,” Derek told him. Spencer didn’t respond. “Spencer?”

“She’s dying,” he reasoned and hung up, walking in. “FBI! Put your weapons down!” 

The unSub, Mitchell O’Hara had been obsessed with you since high school, you’d rejected him in senior year when he’d asked you to the prom since you already had plans with friends. All over the farmhouse, there were photos of you from every stage of your life. Childhood to teenage years, to college years, to your various positions before joining the BAU just a few months ago, including your CIA and covert Ops positions. 

Spencer could see you on the ground, multiple knife wounds in your exposed torso, he’d made you take off your vest, Spencer thought. You groaned in pain on the floor. “Spencer?” You asked hazily. Spencer kept his gun trained on Mitchell. 

“Yeah?” He was stalling, waiting for Aaron to get his own gun or for back-up to arrive. 

“Good,” you were slipping out of consciousness. “I’ve always liked you,” you smiled hazily. Spencer would be elated at those words if the circumstances were different. 

“This is your dream guy Y/n?!” Mitchell shouted. “Him?!” 

“He’s nice,” you managed. “He’s funny.”

“I’m nice! I’m funny!” Mitchell screamed. 

“You’re not Spencer,” you mumbled as everything went dark. 

SWAT suddenly filled the room and Spencer ran to you, trying to stop the bleeding. Thank god Derek had ordered for an ambulance to follow them to the scene.

As Aaron cuffed Mitchell, Spencer went with you in the ambulance. He watched as they attempted to treat your wounds, needing to cut open your shirt. Spencer was shocked to find what looked like 50 different scars. Some from bullets, others knives, others things he couldn’t name. He knew you’d been in the CIA and on a Cover Ops team, he never thought you would’ve been hurt this many times and still have the strength to go on. The ambulance pulled up to the hospital and you were brought straight into emergency surgery. 

He waited for hours there just pacing, nervously biting at his nails, or attempting to sit there as no one told him a thing. He lied, saying he was your boyfriend. Technically it wasn’t a lie, you liked him, he liked you. He just hadn’t asked. 

“Dr. Reid?” A nurse called out. He stood immediately. “She’s stable and should be waking up soon, you can see her.”

Spencer nodded a ‘thanks’ her way and entered your hospital room. 

You were alive. You were here. You were awake. 

You smiled at him. “Hey.”

Your voice was hoarse, tired from the shouting you’d done. 

“Hi.”

“Thanks for saving me Spencer,” you smiled. “And about what I said… if you don’t feel the same I’d totally get it. I just thought I was… y’know dying so…”

Spencer shook his head and smiled. “I like you a lot too.”

You grinned. “Good.”

He leaned down, a sudden surge of confidence ran through him and he kissed you softly.

“I’m from Texas by the way,” you smiled against his lips. 

“I actually guessed that, yeah,” he joked, making you laugh. God, he loved your laugh. 

He loved you. He just wouldn’t tell you that yet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

[heartandfangs]

NOT IF IT'S YOU— PART TWO.

GENRE University AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Smut, Fluff 

PAIRING Nerd!Heeseung x f!Reader

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Jealousy, Cursing, Making out, Arguing, Anxiety, Depression, Flirting, Mentions of food, Brief violence, Brief mention of alcohol, Brief mention of somnophilia, Crying (all sorts), Degradation, Breast worship, Multiple Orgasms, Squirting, Coming untouched, Heavy spit play, Light BDSM, Edging, Spanking, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Hair pulling, Dry humping, Praise kink, First-time blow job, Ball sucking, Fingering, Cum eating, Ear licking, Biting, Public Sex, Light bondage, Dom!Heeseung, Brattysub!FemMC, Sub!Heeseung, Softdom!FemMC, Other OC’s

WORD COUNT 29k (Fic Total)

SUMMARY Befriending a nerd who wants nothing to do with you in a coding class you want absolutely nothing to do with becomes the challenge of the semester— and you’re determined to ace that shit no matter what. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE See end for author’s note cont.

Masterlist, Part One

© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

Jake was nice enough to take care of closing the cafe so you and Heeseung could slip away undetected. You didn’t want to risk lingering in the area at the nearest bus stop, so you called an Uber to his place instead. The ride to Heeseung’s apartment was silent, and you stared out the window the entirety of the time, running back what had just happened in your head. Part of you wished you had interfered and repaid his ex tenfold for that slap, but you knew it wasn’t your place. 

It wasn’t until Heeseung uncurled your tight fist and laced his fingers through yours that you realized the amount of tension whirring throughout your body and the unspoken affection in his touch. 

What— what is he doing?

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised he recently broke up with someone. It had been several months since you’d broken up with your ex, so you understood the stage that he was currently in, but everyone experienced things differently. Despite how he cut her off back at the cafe, were there any residual feelings he kept hidden for her? It had only been just over three months, after all, and who knew how long they were together for. 

But it’s not like you two were together in the first place, so why did it matter so much to you?

You willed yourself to stay calm.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation,” Heeseung said suddenly. 

“You don’t.”

“As your friend, I do.”

Friend, You glanced at your intertwined hands. 

Silence followed.

It turns out there were more things to talk about than you both wanted to. 

The Uber came to a stop, and you were about to untangle your hand from Heeseung’s until he opened the door and tugged you out his side. The building's unassuming facade was a blur as he bypassed the lobby elevators and took you up flights of stairs in a rush, presumably to avoid any awkward moments of silence with you at all costs. Plus, it must’ve given him a reason to hold on tight to you, and you let him. 

You’re not slick, Heeseung… then again, neither am I. 

By the time you arrived at his apartment, you were panting slightly and most definitely envious that Heeseung didn’t seem the slightest bit affected by scaling those stairs. He slowed down once he realized he’d been rushing you, and you were grateful. 

“Sorry. Come in,” He finally let go of your hand and shut the door behind you. His touch left your hand tingling. 

The lights flickered on to reveal a cozy kitchenette and quaint living room; the whole apartment smelled just like warm sugar, and you felt slightly more at ease despite the tension in the air. 

You thought Heeseung was going to get straight to the point, but instead, he turned to you, “Are you hungry? Can I get you anything to drink?”

He always took care of you in that manner. 

“I’m actually not even that hungry,” You admitted, propping your backpack up against the wall. 

“Same. Well, let me make us some tea, at least. Oh, but you had tea already,” Heeseung paused, “If you’d like to wash up in the meantime, I can lend you some clothes. I know it’s been a long day, and it’s pretty late. You can stay the night if you’d like.”

Your heart rate picked up, “Stay the night?”

“Only if you want to. If not, I’ll accompany you home in an Uber when you leave, I don’t trust ridesharing services at later hours.”

Now it went from just having dinner to staying the night. 

Heeseung’s a man, and you would’ve been able to spot his agenda from a mile away, but his intentions weren’t what stumped you. He could be flirty when he wanted to be, but he wasn’t single-minded or disrespectful, so you knew he wouldn’t try anything without your permission. 

It was the fact that he was proposing it in the first place, despite everything that had just happened.

“Um,” You took in the room as if in thought, eyes eventually landing back on him.

Heeseung straightened up and patiently inclined his chin; he didn’t appear overly eager or aloof as he waited for your answer. Rather, his expression appeared sensitive, as though he was still reeling from the past hour. 

Perhaps he actually did want your company for comfort. 

“I should probably stay since it’s getting late,” You decided. 

I guess we’ll have a friendly sleepover. 

His eyes softened, “Alright, you‘ve got my room to yourself. Let’s get you some clothes.”

You tentatively followed Heeseung into his bedroom, feeling extremely out of place. Still, you figured this would be an interesting experience. 

Unbeknownst to Heeseung, you covered up a giggle when you spotted a shelf collection of elegantly displayed wands. 

Really, he didn’t have a whole lot of stuff except for piles of comics scattered about, a fairly high-tech-looking workspace— which was to be expected— and a vintage record player with a vinyl collection you’d love to peruse some time… that is, if he ever invited you back. You rubbed your arm and tried not to focus on the dwindling time you had left with Heeseung. 

It was actually the size of his bed that took you by surprise— it was modern and large, even roomier than yours. 

The thought of him sharing it with someone annoyed you to no end, for some reason. 

While you took a gander about his room, Heeseung gathered several items of clothing from his drawers, all were either a dark wash of black or gray, save for a fluffy white pair of socks with a tag on them.

“Here's a bag for your laundry, and these are some sweatpants that don’t fit me anymore, but they’re adjustable. Also, there’s a shirt; the fuzzy socks I never wore. They were a secret Santa gift I got from Jake last year. I’ll shower after you. No rush.”

“Thanks,” you took the pile of clothes and slowly stepped backwards into the bathroom. 

“Okay,” Heeseung left around the corner immediately, making you laugh despite the heaviness that weighed down your heart. 

There was no way three months ago you could’ve predicted you’d be at Heeseung’s place under such shitty circumstances, but being able to advantage of his hot water made things slightly better in that moment… slightly.

As the hot water soaked into your hair, you reached for the only bottle of product on the edge of the tub and glanced at the label. God, he would use a three-in-one shower product, but at least it was a nice lavender scent. 

Excitement nearly overtook you when you realized it was the lavender scent. 

While you lathered down with it, suddenly, the titillating image of a damp-haired Heeseung flashed behind your eyes.

You imagined him pulling you back against his bare chest and spreading the creamy pastel purple substance all over your breasts from behind, massaging it into your skin until bubbles spilled over his thick fingers and down your ribs.

Suddenly you felt dizzy, your nipples hardening at the intrusive thought. 

It was more than easy to picture him pressing you up against the damp tile walls and running his hands across all your sweet spots, especially dipping his fingers between your legs to draw lazy circles there, taking his time with you like you knew he would. 

Ah, the hallucinations are already starting. Great. 

Definitely helped with ensuring you felt mentally stable before talking to Heeseung about his deep past and trying to figure out your feelings towards one another. 

Maybe you should eat something or at least ask if he had some alcohol stashed away somewhere.  

Having nearly lost track of time, you rinsed fast and shut off the water. Taking care not to slip, you emerged from the lavender-scented steam and quickly dried off over the soft bathroom mat.

It dawned on you that you had no extra underwear. You stared at your plastic bag of dirty clothes that you kicked under Heeseung’s sink for the time being.  

Well, you’d just have to make this work. 

You rolled the cuffs and waistband of Heeseung’s grey sweatpants as much as you could without it looking dumb and then slipped his dark-wash long-sleeve over your head. Lastly, you ripped off the tag on the fuzzy socks and tugged them on, taking a last look at yourself through the foggy mirror. 

Felt kinda airy down there, but at least you were clean and comfy. It wasn’t much different from the clothes you threw on while at home.

You gave your soaked hair strands another good squeeze before hanging up your towel and heading into the living room to let Heeseung know you were finished. 

Just by the rich aroma in the air, you could tell right away he had cooked something. His eyes grew slightly when he saw you, and he had just transferred ramen into a bowl, by the looks of it. 

Secretly your mouth watered, and you almost felt guilty that you’d just fantasized about this sweet boy in his own shower not a moment ago.

“Sorry, it’s nothing special, but I made something for you anyway. Still, don’t feel obligated to eat it, just know that it wasn’t my ideal first meal to make for you,” Heeseung set it on the counter with a set of utensils, a glass of water, and all the while, he’d hardly blinked since laying eyes on you. 

You shuffled forward and pulled up a stool, “Actually, I was getting hungry all of a sudden, and you read my mind. Thanks.”

Heeseung seemed to find your appearance enthralling because he failed to answer in a timely manner, “Sure, I’ll be quick.”

He left the room, and despite feeling incredibly self-conscious, you devoured that bowl of steaming ramen. Something about eating it late at night just made it ten times tastier, especially after such a bizarre day. It warmed you up for the time being until you set down your utensils and downed your water. With a full belly, you stood up and did your due diligence by giving the dishes a good scrub over the sink and leaving them out to dry on the rack. 

Exhaustion was quick to hit you like a truck, and the temperature suddenly dropped in the room, a chill running across your skin. The anxiety of speaking with Heeseung must’ve settled in your bones. 

I probably should’ve asked for a hoodie or something. Also, putting off our inevitable conversation isn’t helping my restlessness either.

Cautiously, you padded into his room and stood in the doorway, considering if you should look in his closet for a jacket. It wasn’t ideal for you to trespass and sift though his things, though.

With chattering teeth, you surveyed the thick duvet and inviting pillows on his bed. The sound of the shower running was still audible, so you hastily slid under the soft sheets and curled up onto your side with a shiver. It was so much warmer underneath, and the sheets smelled nice like he’d just washed them.

If he asks, I’ll just tell him I was about to freeze to death and I didn’t want to rummage through his belongings. 

Feeling a tiredness wash over you from the day, you pulled the duvet up to your chin and momentarily closed your eyes. 

Behind your eyelids, you somehow noticed the lights turning off and slowly awoke from your nap. You fought to stay awake and laid eyes on Heeseung’s back illuminated by moonlight, just before he passed through the doorway into the living room. 

“Heeseung…” You called out groggily, “Wait, we need to talk….”

Heeseung looked over his shoulder, “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I’m awake,” You insisted, despite the heaviness weighing your eyelids down.

“Mhm. I’m glad you made yourself comfortable,” He teased, approaching you with his hands in his pockets. 

“You left me no choice, I was cold….” 

As you gradually sat up in bed, Heeseung clicked on the bedside lamp and took a seat on the edge. You noted his unexpected appearance; he wore black sweatpants and a vintage, dark gray long-sleeve with some sort of gothic script writing across it that you couldn’t make out in the dim lighting. His hair was damp and messy compared to the tame way he always wore it in class. The guy would look this good right out of the shower.

You bit your lip as you were reminded of your fantasy of him but nearly jumped when Heeseung slid the tips of his fingers over yours, “You’re warm now.”

“Geez— you’re not,” His skin felt like ice. He had to have taken a cold shower. 

Heeseung was quick to retract them and lean back on his palms with a smirk, “Thought it’d wake you up.”

“It did,” Mindlessly, your hand inched across the sheets and slid under his own just to feel him again.

For several seconds, all you could hear was your heartbeat, and you tried to interpret the restraint behind his gaze.

Heeseung broke the silence, “Are we gonna talk?”

“Yeah,” You nodded.

“Okay. We can start wherever you’d like,” Heeseung slowly withdrew his hand.

You blinked, then sat back against the headboard. You looked up at the ceiling in thought but still felt his eyes on you. “Hm…”

Just treat it like a sleepover night, like you’re interviewing and asking your best friend to spill their darkest deepest secrets when you just can’t sleep. 

“So, how long were you together with your ex?” You supposed you didn’t want to beat around the bush if he was willing to share. 

Heeseung glanced at the carpet, “I broke up with my ex at the beginning of the semester, but we've been together for about five years. I was a little younger than I should’ve been when we first started dating in high school, but we’ve known each other since we were kids. Back then, I thought things would end up alright between us.”

Your stomach dropped at the connotation of their relationship, and the distaste you felt towards his ex only grew. 

“What exactly happened that led you to break up with her?”

He leaned onto his knees and folded his hands together, “She was also my manager at my old serving job— her family owns this restaurant group. I… caught her in the back with a new hire. It pushed me over the edge, but I had to keep my job for a few weeks to make rent. I eventually quit since things were already building up to it.”

“That’s… awful. I’m so sorry.” 

“After knowing her for so long, I think I saw it coming from her, but it still shocked me. As you can tell, she’s not someone who makes it easy for you to go against her wishes, but I’ve made things very clear with her.”

“Yeah,” You pursed your lips, “Was she always this way?”

“No, actually. She changed at some point when we got older. I cared for her when we were younger, but I can’t remember the exact moment when I stopped loving her. I think I only stayed because I was afraid, and she was all I knew.”

He loved her at one point.  

You had no words to comfort an inevitable heartbreak like that. 

“I think I understand where you’re coming from. My ex cheated on me at the start of the year,” You could hardly believe the words that were coming out of your mouth, but somehow found the courage to continue. 

Heeseung’s head shot up, “You?”

“I like to think I was just too much for him to handle, but who knows what really drives people to hurt their supposed loved ones like that. I really figured he’d be my first and last… maybe if I were in a video game or something. Left me depressed for a few months, but I’m better off these days,” You gave him a sad smile and pulled up your knees to wrap your arms around them. 

“I didn’t know…” Heeseung’s words faded. 

You picked at the comforter. “Just another peek past the facade. I only brought that up because, well, you’re not alone.”

When the room fell silent, you glanced up at him only to find his pained eyes that stirred up emotion in you. 

“How do you feel now?”

You paused at the question, really turned it around in your head. He forced you to look inside of yourself, past depths of stagnant emotions you had no desire to uncover or acknowledge, but he gave you no choice. 

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you pressed them shut with a shake of your head.

Why so suddenly? Why am I feeling everything again now?

You felt his knuckles brush across your cheek. Heeseung took his time swiping away the tears that kept falling with his thumbs, and when you opened your eyes again, his own were glassed over, but he didn’t turn away from you.

“Oh. No, no, don’t—“ Absolutely flustered, you drew up on your knees and pressed your sleeves over his eyes to soak up his tears. You were terrible at comforting emotionally distressed people, let alone yourself. 

Is this boy really crying for me?

You were unable to help from chuckling weakly as you watched his sweet little lips tremble, “I’ve already cried so many pitiful tears for myself, it’s not even worth it, Heeseung. Trust me.” 

Finally, you drew your soaked sleeves away from his bleary eyes and cupped his flushed cheeks in your hands, “Trust me, sweetheart.”

He nodded and gently set your hands down on the sheets but held onto them. This all was definitely cathartic for you both.

“It’s okay to feel the way we do,” Heeseung regained himself, “It’s just— I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you to fill the void, that period of emptiness people usually experience— that I experienced. I’m not. I sat alone in it for weeks after everything happened and came to terms with it.”

Nodding, you listened to his words, shocked at how much of his heart he was bearing to you.

“___, I care about you. Do you understand that?”

After countless times he’s proven that to you, you acknowledged his words, “I do.”

“Good,” Heeseung’s torn expression eased into something more fond when he regarded you, “Because I was grateful for you and your consistent requests for help, and I tried to repay you in the only manner I was able to at the time. In a way, you distracted me a bit from everything going on in that part of my life. 

At the start, I threw myself into my studies, but it’s true that I also took advantage of the chance to be near someone, to be needed, even if just for a class period.”

Both his words and soft gaze disarmed you— slowly, every insecure thought you had about how he felt toward you diminished. 

“You know, your persistence really threw me off, but I was adamant about keeping some distance between us. I wasn’t trying to hop from one relationship to another and cling to someone— I needed time too… Turns out the time I needed was shorter than I thought once you came along.”

A small smile pulled at your lips, “Are you saying I knocked some sense into you?” 

“Yes,” He admitted, “Knowing that I hurt you when you were just trying to get to know me made me realize I’d taken things too far. That I didn’t need to push people away anymore.”

A newfound admiration bloomed in your chest for Heeseung.

“You made up for it, though.”

“Have I? I feel like I’m still working on making it up to you.”

Heeseung has been generous with me ever since I met him, regardless of how private he had been. Even during our rockiest moments— even now.

You looked down, “Don’t feel like you have to keep making up anything to me, because you don’t.”

He brushed a damp strand of hair away from your eyes. 

“I could say the same for you. Sometimes we do things not because they need to be done, but because we want to.”

Heeseung quietly watched surprise take hold of your features.

Unable to hold yourself back any longer, you threw yourself on him and wrapped your arms around his neck in the biggest hug you swore you’d ever given. Your heart was beating out of your chest, but you squeezed him hard just to let him know how much you cared and were astonished when he drew you against him even closer. 

“Thank you,” He whispered in your ear. 

Your eyes fluttered open, realizing your lashes were damp with secret tears. “Anytime,” you breathed. 

Heeseung chuckled against your neck, and you refused to move, so he drew you under the sheets with him. Instead, you relaxed into his embrace fully, letting his peaceful, lavender scent encompass you for the whole night. 

The first emotion you experienced upon waking was frustration; you were pulled from the kind of dream you didn’t want to forget but had absolutely no recollection of. All you knew was that it left you feeling hot in all the right places and you didn’t want it to end— and then someone was playing with your hair.

A shiver worked itself up your spine as they ran their hands slowly through your strands, stroking gently along your neck, and it felt so, so nice. You stirred but feigned sleep a little longer just to enjoy the sensation of tingles running down your back. When you finally came to, you grumbled and pressed up against the warm body beneath you.

Heeseung.

He looked slightly startled but smirked at you, his laid-back appearance taking you by surprise first thing in the morning. The fact that you had fallen asleep next to him for the entire night began to settle in your mind, and you suddenly felt incredibly shy. 

Especially since he was playing with your hair. Exactly how long had he been awake? 

“Morning.”

“Hey. I must look like a wreck,” You said, a bit embarrassed. 

“You look like you slept well,” Heeseung hummed.

Oh, his voice sounds deeper in the morning.

You rubbed at the sleep in your eyes and tried to smooth down your bedhead, “For some reason I did… I-is that drool?”

Mortified, your eyes bore into the dark patch on his shirt in disbelief, then your hands were grabbing at his collar, “Change out of that right now.”

“It’s fine,” Heeseung insisted, resting his hand on your wrist.

“No, I can’t look at it!” You pulled at the fabric in a panic.

“It’s not that big of a– I– Okay!” He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head; you snatched it and hid the evidence behind your back, already planning on burning it if you could find a lighter in his flat.

“I’m sorry,” You sighed but did a double take and stared because any normal person would, just not for as long as you did. His lean physique took you by surprise, especially when he always wore oversized clothing. 

With an amused smile, Heeseung leaned forward to swipe his thumb against the corner of your lip as if there were drool there.

He tilted his head, “Are you?”

You lept off the bed in search of another shirt in his drawers, “Stop that.” 

“What?”

You ignored him. 

A black T-shirt caught your eye, and you balled it up to launch it across the room at him but flinched when you suddenly felt Heeseung’s presence behind you. His hand brushed against your back in an attempt not to scare you.

“Someone’s jumpy in the morning,” Heeseung commented, taking the shirt from you to pull it on. You got another peek at his cut waistline just as he was adjusting the fabric over his head. 

“Usually I’m not….”

For as much of a nerdy person as he was, he certainly took care of himself. You thought back to the first time you’d gotten a glimpse of his skin after class and compelled yourself not to turn into a stuttering idiot after blowing things out of proportion first thing in the morning. 

“Well, I have a 9 am final I need to leave for in about 15 minutes. There’s an extra unopened toothbrush in the drawer and stuff if you want to get ready,” Heeseung called over his shoulder as he dug out different pieces of clothing to wear. “Clothes-wise, wear whatever you want.”

“I’ll just wear this out. I’m gonna head back to my apartment to change before my afternoon class anyways.”

Heeseung’s bathroom was very minimal, with a few basic products that were easy to find. It looked tidy because of that… couldn’t exactly say the same for yours. 

You splashed water on your skin with a bit of face soap, and after patting it dry, you found the extra toothbrush and toothpaste he mentioned, letting your mind drift while you brushed your teeth.

When I think about it, I can’t believe we’ve become this comfortable with each other. He’s a much more emotional person than I initially thought. Staying overnight was a pretty risky move in the sense that anything could’ve happened. I mean anything. Also, it was pretty gross that I drooled on him, but he was hardly deterred. He even played with my hair…

The brushing came to a stop.

…And he actually cried for me last night.

Heeseung filed in next to you and casually started brushing his teeth. You wanted to laugh at how unfamiliar the simple act felt but ended up staring at him through the mirror, noticing his puffy eyelids. Yours were hardly any better. 

Then he wriggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to spit immediately into the sink. So much for brushing for a full two minutes. He seemed like himself again.

You rinsed and patted your mouth with a towel, “So weird.”

Heeseung shrugged and finished up in the bathroom when you grabbed your laundry and went to locate all of your belongings ahead of time so you wouldn’t hold him up by the time he had to leave. As you organized your laundry in your backpack, the previous night's events continued to flash through your mind.

“Hey, what are you gonna do about your glasses?”

Heeseung emerged from the bathroom and tipped his head back to place something in his eye, “Wear contacts until I can get them fixed.”

“Ah.”

You fell into thought as Heeseung finished inserting his contacts, “I was wondering about this for a while, but when we first ate Thai together… Why were you acting so weird after I mentioned you looked different without your glasses? I said you looked cute either way, but it seemed like I offended you.”

“Oh, that? No, you didn’t offend me…” Heeseung murmured. 

Your brows furrowed, “What was it then?”

He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and nearly stumbled from misstepping. “It wasn’t what you said. It’s just when you touched my hair and what not— I just… I realized I wanted you, but it didn’t feel right yet.”

As if his own words had just dawned on him, his hands froze on the waistband of his sweats. At the same time, you looked up at Heeseung from rummaging in your bag.  

Every little flirtatious interaction and hint of jealousy clicked together in your mind like puzzle pieces, confirming his longing for you since then.

It’s not like you didn’t come to that conclusion, but even back then? And to admit that aloud, now?

A thrumming tension hung between you two as you stood up. 

“You wanted me?” 

Heeseung swallowed thickly as you approached him, forcing him back against the foot of his bed. If only you knew what your presence by his side every day and in his most private spaces had done to him, maybe you’d show a little mercy and understanding. 

He wished you were aware of how every room you occupied was imbued with your scent and how he couldn’t sleep a wink last night because you were pressed up so soundly against him, unable to stay still as you dreamt of things he so desperately wanted to be a part of.

Wished you knew how happy it made him to see you casually interacting with his belongings like you already owned them, eating the simple ramen he made for you, getting comfortable under his sheets, and wearing his clothing without a second thought now. 

Wished he was insane enough to pull your chair towards him once everyone in class had left, slide down on his aching knees, and bury his head between your thighs to make you scream his name over and over until your sweet voice grew hoarse. 

Heeseung wanted to indulge you with his deepest desires.

He supposed all crossroads led to this very moment— Since the day you walked through the classroom door with a smile and he forced himself to pretend your existence wasn’t that important, that he wasn’t in the slightest bit affected by how frighteningly beautiful or intimidating you were to him when you found the need to be. 

There was no way he could ignore someone like you for long, not when you showered him in attention and simply couldn’t leave him be. Even when he’d act overbearing and nagging, proving to be a bit much for you at times. 

As fate would have it, he was destined to bend to you, his mind, body, and soul more than willing, even if he fought it at the start.

He should be afraid of putting so much trust in someone who held so much power over him, but he wasn’t— not anymore.  

Every bit of him wanted to be dialed into now as you reached out and rearranged a few pieces of his bangs around his eyes, running your fingers softly through his hair, setting off alarms in his body like you had all those weeks ago. 

“I wanted you,” He admitted. 

Truly.

The second he leaned into your touch, you did it a little more roughly, and the look he gave said that you were treading on thin ice with him. 

Despite his piercing eyes, you remained calm and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear before tracing the outline of it with your fingertip all the way down to his ear lobe, noting how a soft sigh escaped his lips as you massaged him there. You ignored the urge to take his ear lobe into your mouth, despite wanting to hear the beautiful sounds he might make for you. 

Instead, you let sweeter thoughts motivate you and ran your fingers along his jaw, holding him close as you stood on your tippy toes, stare flitting down to his lips. You didn’t have to reach much, Heeseung was already leaning down, meeting you more than halfway.

When your lips met, it felt delightful and sure, sparking like a kiss that had been a long time coming— but an undeniable intensity dominated the caress from the sheer amount of desire you had for him since the very start. Heeseung responded immediately, and you could sense his struggle to manage his eagerness for you.

Intentionally keeping the pace slow but sensual, you pulled back and swiped your tongue against his lips any time you felt him get worked up under your touch.

It frustrated Heeseung, who simply wanted to be as near to you as possible, so once your lips connected again, he slyly tilted his head to deepen the kiss, reveling in your startled moans as he caught you off guard. His hands slid up your smooth back and dug into your skin, pressing you close so he could finally feel you against him and keep you there.

Of course, he tasted like mint, and his touch was more than covetous by how he grazed your shoulders under your shirt, revealing your skin and sending sparks down your spine once more. Suddenly breathless, you parted for a moment, but Heeseung held you tightly against his heaving chest, letting you know that there was no escaping him as his heart beat wildly beneath your palms. 

“And now?” You had the gal to ask when you were the one waning under his passion. 

“Mm,” His lips caressed your cheek, “Don’t think I’ll be able to get enough of you.”

Heeseung’s breath caught when you dragged your hand against the soft fabric covering his chest and abdomen. You gathered the shirt higher on his waist, then ran the tips of your nails up and down his stomach, circling his belly button to tease him. Then you stoked the flames, pressing your hips flush against his, and could feel his excitement sear against your thigh. 

A breathy hiss left his lips, and he gazed at you with heavy eyes, the mere sound making you throb with need for him. You enjoyed smoothing your palms beneath his shirt and over his lightly toned chest.

“Don’t stop….”

Your fingers just grazed his nipples as his hips jerked against yours. 

“Show me where, but do it slowly.”

Heeseung shamelessly tugged the waistband of his sweatpants down on his hips and took your wrist to gradually draw your touch lower, much lower, until you were palming his hard length through the thin layer of his black briefs. Even through the fabric, he was hot to the touch and pulsing against your fingers. 

“Heeseung,” you drawled accusingly. 

“Fuck,” His head dropped forward into the crook of your neck as you began to squeeze and rub along his thick cock. He held onto your wrist and began grinding into your hand, his panting growing heavier against your skin by the second. You could feel his wetness starting to form where you palmed him over and over. 

“Hey, be honest with me. Did you get hard sleeping next to me?”

Heeseung licked his lips, “Just a little.”

Your curiosity got the best of you, “And did you touch yourself?”

Heeseung stiffened against you, “Only a bit when you’d grind against my side. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to last the night….”

He groaned when you firmly groped his cock through his briefs, making him feel like he was yours. 

“When I’d grind on you?” You asked incredulously. 

“Ah– Yes, you were the exact way I am right now– rubbing against me, all breathless and whiny. Must’ve been a good dream; made me jealous,” He revealed, even as a smug smile grew on his face.

Your recollection was faint, but you knew he wasn’t joking.

“Did you feel me up when I was asleep?”

His grin dropped, and his voice tightened, “No. You know I wouldn’t do that,” His doubtful expression then shifted to one of cautious inquisitiveness, “Not unless you wanted me to….”

He caught how your brows rose at the meaning and found your reaction entertaining.

Of course, Heeseung would never touch you without your approval, but the fact he just brazenly put it out there as an option was wild to you. He’s so unassuming that you weren’t sure what to think after he casually suggested a naughty offer like that as if it were just a pre-planned favor he could easily take care of for you.

Heeseung seemed to surprise you in many ways, but you should’ve known to expect the unexpected from him at this point. Maybe you’d take him up on his offer later, but for the time being, you were intrigued by this side of Heeseung you just glimpsed. 

An impish idea came to mind as you desired to provoke him further and draw him out of his shell. You twirled around in his arms and arched your back to press your ass against his bulge, enticing him to grind on you. Once you tipped your head back to look up at him and reached overhead to tug at his dark locks, you made your neediness undeniable to him.

Heeseung recognized it too and, for a moment, was taken aback. He could tell by the glint in your eyes that you wanted to relinquish your control to him; it was that similar kind of fascination you looked at him with in the restaurant when all he wanted to do was bend you over that wooden table and please you in every which way. 

“And if I’d woken up all needy and begging for you, what would you have done?” You nestled your cheeks against his cock, delighted by how he tucked his lip under his teeth to stifle a moan, “Would you be nice, Hee? Or would you ruin me?”

His initial shyness soon morphed into complete hunger as one of his hands found your waist, and the other snaked up between your breasts to wrap around your neck. Heeseung anchored you to his chest, and when you felt him take hold of your jaw to kiss you over your shoulder, you melted in his arms. 

“Why don’t I just show you?”

It didn’t even register that Heeseung shoved you onto the bed and pressed you onto your stomach. He forced your legs apart with his own before holding you down by your nape and hip, letting you know your place. Instantly, he began grinding his hips into your ass, and all you felt was the unyielding pressure and heat that threatened to undo you right then and there. 

“Oh, fuck yes—“

It felt so good to be pinned beneath Heeseung, let alone a person who you entirely adored from head to toe. His weight bearing down on you felt delicious and heavy; you could only imagine what the full force of his thrusts felt like, especially without any barriers of clothing. 

God, you really thought you’d be the one to bring him to his knees first, but here you were. The sensation of his hard length dragging between your ass caused your pussy to dampen your sweatpants uncontrollably.

Even Heeseung could feel it. 

Oh shit. Shit—

“Making a mess already, baby?”

“Shut up,” You gritted out, his words setting your face aflame. 

Yes, yes— you’ve turned me on since the day we met!

Is that what you want to hear me say? 

He was soaking in his briefs just minutes ago. Who was he to talk?

You were barely able to quiet your yelp in time when Heeseung slid his hands past your waistband and pushed the fabric just beneath your cheeks to knead at the soft flesh. He did it in such a teasing way that made you feel delirious and frantic at the same time like you wanted him to strip you bare and run his tongue all over your body right after. 

“Talk to me that way again and see what happens,” He warned, egging you on. His hands on your ass grew more insistent as he gripped and massaged your flesh, making you grasp at the sheets. 

Ah, you couldn’t believe Heeseung also had this side to him, but at the same time, you had an inkling. What a crazy contrast to how he was whimpering under your touch just moments before. Typically, he was so patient with you in class, but you just knew he had an itch to scratch when it came to you.  

Excitement bristled through your entire being, and it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“I said shut–”

He brought his palm down before you even finished, and god was there power behind it.

A moan ripped from your throat, the sharp sound of flesh meeting flesh ringing in your ears as his hands possessively ran over your stinging ass.

“Again,” Heeseung baited you. 

Astonished with yourself, you bit your lip hard. At the same time, your pussy clenched, juices spilling onto the sheets. You loved the feeling but realized you weren’t going to last with how swollen your clit felt from his words and the way he handled you. Even just jerking against the mattress after the blow Heeseung landed nearly made you come. 

“No?”

This is insane. There is no way I’m going to come just from getting spanked once. No fucking way. 

You shook your head and rubbed your thighs together as Heeseung pressed a wet kiss to the flushed skin he’d marked. 

“Mm, that’s what I thought.”

The cold air hit your legs and pussy when he yanked off your bottoms in one fell swoop, and then he was flipping you onto your back and running his large hands against your sides to gather your shirt over your breasts. 

“Heeseung,” You gulped, suddenly feeling very exposed in the morning light. 

“___, be good for me,” He tipped your chin up to capture your lips in a reassuring kiss, “I just wanna make you feel good like you can let go without worrying about anything. Trust me?”

His words calmed you immediately.

“Of course.”

“Good girl,” Heeseung kissed you once more, and you relaxed into it, letting your legs fall open so he could press closer. That is, until his hands were back to slowly stroking up and down your curves, thumbing at your peaking nipples. 

“You are gorgeous,” Heeseung smiled, noticing a deep flush creeping across your cheeks, “So soft and sensitive…”

He squeezed your breasts together and dragged the flat of his hot tongue between your cleavage with a flick. The visual was so fucking overwhelming you hung your forearm over your eyes with a whimper. 

“…But you could have me on my knees if you wanted to, and you know it.” 

Doing as he pleased, he took the edge of your shirt and pulled it tightly over your breasts so that your nipples would harden with every pass of the fabric. Each time he tugged the edge of the shirt over the swell of your breasts, your nipples would perk up against the cold air, tempting Heeseung to teasingly place kisses around them before repeating it all over again. 

He was receptive to your minuscule reactions, watching closely at the way you wet your lips and arched your back to press your chest against his face anytime he drew near. 

“A-ah— Hee,” You complained, threading your fingers through his hair, desperately wanting his mouth fully on your tits, “Fucking tease….”

You felt him mouth kisses at the underside of your breast and swipe his tongue back and forth while your nipples tingled, begging for attention.

“Acting like you’re not enjoying this? Someone really likes to play dumb around me,” He kissed your throat as you squirmed underneath his rough touch, your thighs drenched in arousal. 

Finally, Heeseung tucked your shirt above your chest and dragged his hand down the valley of your breasts and over your stomach, stopping right above your clit, just to make you even crazier. 

“That’s how you keep me wrapped around your finger, isn’t it?”

He came back up to seal his lips over your aching breast and suckled deeply against your nipple. The sloppy noises caused your body to clench and fold under him; you were twisting in his grasp, barely able to withstand the expressions of his deep-seated desire. 

Then he stroked you down there, let you rub your sensitive slit against him, and make a drooly mess over his palm. You moaned unabashedly at the feeling of him finally palming your pussy. 

“Oh my god!”

Having sensed your uncontrollable surge of arousal, he lapped at your sweetness on his hand, brought your leg around his waist, and let you rut your bare hips against him. As you curled around his head and clutched him against your chest, you grinded against him messily like you were in heat, using him to satiate the growing fire in your core without a care if you were soaking his shirt or getting a cramp in your side. 

Heeseung pulled you up to sit on his bulge, and your hands shot out against his chest to support yourself over him. He held you firmly by your love handles and let you hump against his cock to your heart's content, clearly enjoying the view of you above him with a coy smile. 

“Shit! Hee….”

Heeseung squeezed and rolled your breasts in his hands, “Had a feeling you’d like riding me. That little clit must be so swollen and pink—“

Soon enough, he found himself preoccupied with lapping his hot tongue against your other breast, coating it in saliva before smacking your nipple against his lips. You threw your head back and moaned deeply, the thrusts of your hips unrelenting. Heeseung’s hands blazed up your thighs and ass, insistent on making it known how much he’d been holding himself back from touching you. 

Heeseung snapped his hips up into you, causing you to nearly keel over on top of him, thighs shaking and spit spilling from your lips onto his chest. He easily caught you, his chuckle vibrating against your skin, and laid you back against the sheets to lick over your chin and slip his heavy tongue against yours. He moaned into your mouth, tasting you deeply with every stroke, and you simply allowed him to devour you. 

He knew you were purely holding onto him for dear life at this point. 

Abruptly, you heard Heeseung curse under his breath upon seeing the time on his bedside stand. “You don’t have class ‘till later, right?”

His words almost didn’t register in your lust-hazed brain as you chased his lips for more kisses. 

“Wha? No—“

Suddenly, Heeseung was gripping your thighs, pulling your legs over his shoulders to fold you in half. He dragged his fingers through your slicked folds again and circled your clit before sucking the taste of you off them. 

“Good,” You gasped as he smirked down at you, then his perfectly aligned hips rolled into yours— and stopped for nothing.

With a broken moan, your eyes fluttered shut at the sweet, sweet heat. The friction of his sweatpants only heightened your pleasure as his hips drew deep, slow circles against your bare pussy, your eyes rolling back into your head every time he made contact with your swollen clit just right. 

“Hee— Heeseung—“ Your call devolved into a litany of moans, filling his ears like pleasing notes. 

He was almost fed up with himself for not making a move when you embraced him after your talk because he could’ve been enjoying your mewls of pleasure all night long. Almost. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have traded anything for the endearing way you tackled him onto his bed with abandon and curled up in his arms to sleep, even as torturous as laying next to you was. 

“I love being needed by you,” Heeseung confessed against your lips, “Even though I know you don’t really need me.”

“No— I need you,” You whimpered against him, your nails digging pretty red crescents into his shoulder blades. The force of his hips was jarring enough to make you feel like you were losing your sanity as he drilled you deeper and deeper into his mattress. 

“Yeah, baby? How badly?”

The pace of his thrusts quickened if that were even possible.

“So fucking badly! You’re— you’re gonna make me come,” you warned, “Fuck—“

You felt the knot in your stomach begin to unravel, and then in seconds, quick pulses of emanating heat dragged you under a blanketed haze of pleasure. 

Heeseung was beyond pleased with the blissful expression you wore, knowing you saw fireworks behind your fluttering eyelids. As though in tune with your body, Heeseung eventually slowed his thrusts and took in every bare inch of you that glistened with a pretty sheen of sweat, basking in the sound of your shaky moans.

If you had the sense to peel your eyes open, you’d crumble even more under his fervent expression as he gently pressed his hips against your clenching pussy and kept the perfect amount of pressure there for your enjoyment. 

“Mmn!” Inevitably, you trembled and huffed against him from oversensitivity, in disbelief of how hard he still was. 

He caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger— kissed you like you had breath to spare.

“See, you like being teased, don’t you, baby?”

“Hee… fuck…”

When you eventually came to, you glanced down between your bodies and saw the aftermath; the sheets and front of his sweatpants were stained with your release. However, the tent in his pants is what caught your attention, and you salivated at his twitching dick, knew how big it was under your hand— wanted to see it drip with pearly cum. 

Despite being lightheaded, you grabbed at his hips with determination.

“Sorry, I got carried away, but I have to go,” Heeseung caught your hands and was already gently tugging you to sit up so he could clean you off. 

“But—“

“I know we’re gonna be so busy starting today, but do you want to meet up Thursday evening in one of the study rooms? The day before our final? I promise I’ll make it up to you.” 

Make it up? After everything he just did, make up for what? Did he mean make out? Your brain was unable to compute, and you just found yourself nodding. 

Heeseung chuckled and sealed the deal with a kiss that conveyed a deep affection you felt unworthy of. His hands threaded into your hair, it almost felt like he wasn’t going to let you go, but he did.

“See you then.”

Knowing Heeseung didn’t come during his first time with you haunted you for several days up until your final study session with him of the year. He certainly had to be aware that you had no intention of leaving him high and dry, but it still frustrated you. Timing was the biggest obstacle then, and you were determined not to let it get in the way today. 

Like a diligent student, you had studied for all your classes and prepared for your finals like it was the apocalypse. Despite your worries, a majority of them you already knocked out; the final project for your coding class consisted of an entire presentation of your work the following day, officially making it your most concerning project. 

You loathed public speaking, and of course, there was a mistake in your code that you failed to catch in the haze of exhaustion while you were burning the midnight oil, so it gave you all the more reason to look forward to seeing Heeseung. Thanks to him, you actually had a chance at acing the class rather than just having survived it.

Plus, you were glad to have an excuse to talk about something other than what went down at his apartment because you were still working your brain around the different sides of himself he’d shown to you that morning. 

You smirked to yourself. 

Will I encounter the angel or devil today? 

It was always chilly in the library, so you felt your nipples pebble under your favorite sweatshirt in reaction to the air conditioner. The outfit you chose to wear was slightly out of the norm but purposeful. You ditched the bra opting for comfort, and with Heeseung in mind, you traded your typical pair of sweatpants for a white, pleated skirt that matched your casual sneakers. 

Usually, you stuck purely to skincare, but your make-up was fairly light for today, save for a touch of red coloring your lips and liner with mascara to brighten your eyes. It was a nice mix of your signature relaxed look and a touch of coquette. Obviously, it wasn’t over the top, but you felt pretty cute. 

You spotted a focused-looking Heeseung through the study room window at the end of a long row of shelves. He’d chosen the most inconspicuous study room on the top floor, and you had to applaud him for that. 

A wave of confidence overcame you as you approached the room at an unhurried pace. 

After two knocks, you pulled open the door. 

“Oh, I almost didn’t recognize you, specs,” You smiled, dropping your bag onto the table and comfortably leaning against the edge. 

“Yeah?” Heeseung sat back against his chair and took off his new glasses with a snort, inspecting the plastic frames, “My original glasses are taking a while to get repaired. Weirdly, I got some stares from people in my other classes and customers at work without them, so I just picked up a shitty pair from the Dollar Tree. They give me a headache but beats the odd looks….”

He scrambled to slide them back in place once he noticed your atypical attire, his gaze slowly trailing up your legs.

“Sounds like they were checking you out. I guess I can see where they’re coming from,” You crossed your legs, holding back a smile. 

He exuded an interesting vibe today himself, his cute glasses served as the biggest contrast against his black ensemble consisting of gray jeans and a black shirt. If he’d worn only his contacts on top of everything, it would’ve been too much for you to handle.

Inwardly, you snickered as the tips of his ears blushed red, and he quickly glanced down at his keyboard. Even you were still trying to figure out how this was the same guy who relentlessly teased your body to death earlier that week. 

Oh, he’s the shy one today. Let’s see for how long…

You eased the attention off of him, “I’m probably gonna need you to double-check my project.”

“That’s fine. I’ll help you after you tell me how this tastes.”

You tilted your head, “Hm?”

“I baked you something.”

“You— you did?” Your eyes brightened as he rested his hand on a simple, ribbon-wrapped package sitting next to his laptop that you hadn’t noticed before. 

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s edible,” His grin made your heart thrum. 

Heeseung handed you the package and patiently looked up at you with wide eyes as you unboxed its contents. You tugged at the ribbon delicately as it unraveled and peeked under the lid. 

“Macarons!”

“The decadent kind. Try it,” He reached over and took out a cream-colored macaron, set the box aside, then held it to your lips, “You look pretty, by the way….”

Eep!

“Thank you,” You gave him a sincere smile, causing him to nibble on his lip. 

You tucked your hair behind your ear and leaned forward to take a bite. The texture was marvelous; one bite in, and you were sold on the delicious buttercream filling. 

“Mmm— the butter,” Your mouth watered in between chewing, “This flavor beats all the others out of the park! I think it’s my new favorite. Seriously.”

“No need to savor it, I can always make more,” He reminded you. 

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

You stared at him suspiciously. Did he mean it? As in, he intended to stay in touch?

“If I wanted some next week, you’d bake me some?”

He nodded, “Sure.”

“But what if I wanted some for Christmas?”

“I can bake you more, along with some other treats I’ll be testing for the holidays.”

“And what if I wanted some next semester?”

Heeseung chuckled, “I’d make you barely enough; that way, you have to keep asking me. There. Satisfied that you exposed my ploy?”

You stared at him, feeling overwhelmed. The time you thought would come to an end with him wasn’t as concerning of an issue as you had thought all along. Whether or not Heeseung thought that to be obvious to you both, you weren’t planning on taking his words for granted. 

He gestured at the remaining macaron half he held, but you ignored it and slid into his lap, nestling against his firm bulge. He groaned softly but welcomed you, his free hand squeezing your bare thigh as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

“And will we still be friends by then?”

“No,” His eyes shone with knowing, “No, I don’t think so.”

You inhaled deeply, “How about next week?”

He slowly shook his head and found himself staring at your lips.

You tilted his chin up so he’d meet your eyes. “And what about now?”

A bashful smile spread across his face, and he brushed the macaron against your lips, ”You tell me….”

Gently, you took the piece into your mouth, brushing your glossy lips against his fingertips, succeeding in stealing his breath away. 

You held his hand between yours and took your time to suck the pads of his thumb, then index finger into your mouth as your voice dropped to a whisper, “You’re mine.”

And the look in his eyes said he knew it. 

The air around you two dampened with lust. 

“I missed you,” Heeseung wet his lips and thumbed at your own, “Let me taste, please?”

While still seated in Heeseung’s lap, you leaned back against the table, his hands settling on your soft thighs as you reached off to the side for another treat. You split the macaron in half so you could gather the white filling with a lick, then stick out your tongue past your lips. You stayed relaxed against the table, legs hanging on either side of his lap, and beckoned him with your finger. 

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung was leaning over you to pull you against his chest and taste every inch of your mouth he could reach. The kiss was ravenous and sugary sweet, with way too much tongue; everything you could’ve wanted after spending a few days apart. 

“Mm,” you moaned against his lips when his palm slid over the side of your neck to hold you in place. 

You knew he was just bursting at the seams of his pants. After all, he never got the satisfaction of finishing like you had, and now it was your turn to play with him. 

The kisses quickly evolved into eager smacks and dips of his warm tongue against yours, your shenanigans to blame. You broke the kiss after a particularly sloppy caress and watched thick strands of saliva dribble down his chin. 

“A-ah…”

You eyed the cherry red stains of your lipstick on Heeseung’s lips and lapped up the strands with several hot strokes, earning a whimper from him. Obsessed with the sounds he just made, you messily reconnected your lips with his and pulled back again, catching strands of his saliva with a flick of your tongue.

He moaned deeply, brows knit together, his eyes glazed over and pleading. At this point, his glasses had been slightly knocked askew on his nose, and you chuckled at the dreamy look in his eyes.

Heeseung was panting deeply, his nipples standing hard underneath his shirt; the boy looked like he wanted to be devoured by you.

“You like it sloppy, huh, baby?”

“Yes—,” His hips bucked excitedly against yours, but you could tell he was trying to control himself.

“I’ve always thought your ears are so cute,” You whispered hotly against his skin, making them grow a shade darker of blush, “You don’t mind if I suck on them a bit, do you?”

Heeseung’s eyes widened behind his crooked glasses, ”No….”

“You clean ‘em, right?” You teased, sweeping your nail up the fluttering pulse at his neck.

Heeseung pouted, “Yes, every day—“

“I know, cutie,” You adjusted his glasses and traced the curve of his ear with your tongue, holding him in place by his jaw.

He gasped at the sensation and shut his eyes to really enjoy the way you were toying with him. When your teeth began to tug against the tip of his ear, he bit back a small groan, making you smile against his skin. 

You soothed your assault with several laps of your tongue before moving to suckle at his ear lobe and grind down on his hard-on.

“Oh god…” Heeseung’s eyes fluttered, and with desperate hands, he clung to your waist, barely hanging on by a thread. He twitched beneath you; enduring your teasing was as torturous for him as it was gratifying for you.

You released his sensitive earlobe with a smack and then slowly dipped your hot tongue into his ear, in and out, pressing deeper each time. You felt Heeseung’s jaw loosen in your grip, his mixture of pants and moans growing heavy as he nearly went limp under you. 

“Ah… fuck…” Heeseung drawled. He could barely stand hearing such lewd sounds— could feel himself leaking and hard in his jeans as you turned his brain to mush. 

“You like it when I fuck your ear, don’t you?”

Heeseung moaned incoherently, and you moved just beneath his ear to nip and kiss his neck harshly. 

“Look at me, Heeseung.”

When he turned to you, he looked completely out of it. It was apparent that the sweet thing needed a break from his studies to let his mind go completely blank, only to be filled with the most manic thoughts of you.  

“Kiss me properly like a good boy.”

He obeyed you, gingerly taking your face in his hands and capturing your lips with care. The shared moment gave you both time to breathe and remember where you were, in each other's arms, completely focused on pleasing the other. 

And you wanted more of him, so much more. 

“Can't stop thinking about you whether I’m awake or asleep,” Heeseung whispered, “Can’t stop touching myself.”

Shit. 

Your brain conjured up images of Heeseung palming himself in the same bed you had slept in while you had been fast asleep, experiencing a wet dream. Even in his shower, since that was a probability…

“Yeah, baby? Messing around like we did tends to alter your brain chemistry for a bit, y’know?” The skeptic in you teased. 

Heeseung placed a kiss under your jaw but scolded you, “Don’t be like that. I’ve wanted to share that with you for weeks.”

“Oh,” Despite blushing wildly, you answered coolly, “You sure like to take your time, then.”

“___…” Heeseung frowned at your seemingly nonchalant attitude.

“I’m just joking with you. I know you like to take your time and that you’re a man of action over words. I’ve come to love that about you, even though sometimes, it can drive me crazy,” You held his face in your hands and ran your fingers through his hair, before kissing him hard. 

He liked that a lot, you felt his cock jump so you rocked into him. 

Heeseung sulkily nudged his nose against the side of your neck, taking in your scent, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. When you’re alone at night, all you need to do is call me, baby.”

He smiled this time, “I’ll definitely do that….”

You didn’t hesitate to connect your lips with his and let your tongue roam the deepest it had in his mouth, gently prodding at his throat to taste the rich flavor of buttercream against his tongue. When you tried to pull back, Heeseung retaliated and sucked on your tongue. 

“Mmm—”

His boldness spurred you on to hungrily press your lips against his once more, his taste intoxicating to you. Feeling your inhibition slip completely, your panties began to soak through onto his lap, clit pulsing from the heat of his body under yours. You dragged your hands up beneath his shirt and caressed your fingertips over his warm, firm chest, causing him to shiver in pleasure. 

He moaned when your fingers began to twist at his nipples, “I-I love it when you… play with me….”

“Yeah, baby, I can tell,” You regarded him with a curious smile before asking, “Do you like blowjobs?”

His eyes widened, but he slowly found himself nodding.

You giggled and tilted your head, “Not sure?”

He searched your eyes for judgement, “No, I’m— I’m, I mean, who wouldn’t? I’ve just never… gotten one before.”

I’m sorry— what?

The inevitable look of disbelief you gave him had him fidgeting in his chair, your hands coming to a still against his waist. 

Well, fuck his ex to hell and back. 

You shifted forward into his lap to press your breasts flush against his chest and caress his cheeks. “Well, I’d love to give you one. Would you like that?” 

“I’d love that, please,” He bit his lip, his gaze on you already unfocused. 

You were unable to help the giddy feeling in your chest as you kissed him and pressed the heel of your palm between his thighs.  

Heeseung ground up against your hand as you felt him up through his jeans before swiftly releasing him from their confines. The subtle curve of his flushed cock was more beautiful than you imagined, as were the pulsing veins lining the underside of his length. He was heavy in your hands and soaked to the touch in his arousal, much like you were between your thighs. 

“Oh, you must be aching. Been dying to taste you….”

“I’m not going anywhere this time,” With a shaky breath, Heeseung gathered the edge of his shirt in his grasp to reveal the sharp dips of his abdomen and the light trail of hair leading to his erection, watching as your lovely eyes turned dark.

“So thick, you’re unreal.…”

Slowly, you kneeled between his legs to cover his dripping cock in hungry kisses and played with his pre-cum on your tongue, immediately making him twitch and moan in want. You’ve been dying to reduce him to this mess of a state for the longest time. 

“Like it when I kiss you all over?”

“Yesss— haahn,” His words slurred when you took the head of his cock past your lips and sucked while swirling your tongue over his milky slit.

He was stunned at how your delicate hands worked at the rest of his length, jerking him with a firmness he wasn’t used to but definitely loved. Despite your touch feeling foreign, it felt different than his own in the best possible way. 

How would he last any longer than a minute? All of the sensations you were gracing him with were too much, too good.

“Your balls look so full, baby…” You could feel your mouth salivating as you tongued at his swollen tip. 

“Ohh—“

Out of the corner of Heeseung’s eye, a figure whizzed by the window to his right, and he froze. He only experienced a second of relief when he realized it was just the back of an oblivious student passing by, but he was brought back to reality by the fact that the two of you could be discovered.

While you were obviously aware of this from the start, you sensed the sudden discomfort through the line of tension in his body.

“We could get caught, you know….”

You pulled off of his cock, and smirked, your fingers tightening around his girth, “I’m sure you knew exactly what you were doing when you invited me here. If you’re so worried, then keep your voice down,” You raised an eyebrow at him, “You are a bit loud, sweetheart.”

Heeseung tugged on his lips between his teeth, feeling timid despite the truth. He tried to steady his breathing and swallowed thickly as he glanced out the window for any sign of movement, although the majority of people minded their own business in the library.

“Heeseung!” He heard a familiar voice call.

The face of his friend, Jake, peeked out from behind a bookshelf through the window pane of the study room.

His knee immediately slammed up against the table the moment he felt you mouth at his balls. Heeseung’s breath caught in his lungs, sneakers skidding against the floor as he braced himself against the table. The boy was barely able to process the sheer amount of pleasure from the warm, tight suction of your wet lips around him.

He just wanted to melt to the floor. 

“Fuck—“

In a panic, Heeseung barely managed to swallow a groan of pleasure when his friend shot him a look of concern through the window. From this angle, you weren’t visible from under the table, but Heeseung was sure he appeared oddly curled over his laptop, hands sprawled across the surface of his books and papers.

“You good man?” Jake slowly began to approach the door to the study room.

You heard Rin’s muffled voice, “Have you seen ___? She won’t pick up her phone.”

“I’m okay!” He insisted with a grunt, “Sorry, I haven't! Wait, no— Don’t come in, I just really need to focus right now,” Heeseung raised his voice slightly so they could hear him clearly through the glass.

You ran your tongue across the tender ridge between his balls before humming sweetly against his skin. Pre-cum bubbled at his slit and poured down his length onto your fingers, so you cruelly jerked his cock even quicker than before. 

Heeseung pressed his fist against his lips to stifle a moan, trying to play it off as a cough before waving goodbye in Jake and Rin’s direction, hoping the two would get the hint.

Jake chuckled and shook his head, “Oh, alright then. See you at work!”

“See you, Heeseung. If you see her, tell her to stop ignoring me, she owes me dinner,” Rin winked. 

“I— I will,” He did his best to plaster a smile on his face until your friends disappeared around the corner.

Once they left, you heard a sound of frustration rumble throughout Heeseung’s chest as he pushed away from the table to stare down at you with his hand covering his lips. His eyes nearly started to brim with tears behind his glasses as he watched you slurp around his swollen balls and then suck them tightly into your mouth. 

You noticed his conflicted expression and cooed at him, “Does it feel that good, baby?” Then you were back to hollowing your cheeks around him. 

More profanities spilled from his lips. 

Knowing he was lucky to be sitting instead of standing, he let his knees fall open, his joints completely weak with pleasure. His reasoning skills were non-existent, but it registered in his mind that the girl he fantasized about day and night was so willingly stuffing her mouth with his filthy cock and balls. He could hardly believe it. 

Admittedly, you were impressed at the pretense he managed to keep up in a moment of crisis, and as a reward for his self-control, you gave his balls one last harsh suck, then let them drop from your lips, “You did such a good job holding out there….”

Saliva pooled in your mouth before you spat along his length and continued to pump him at a messy pace, working your spit into the tip of his slippery cock. You rubbed your lips along his sensitive skin, planting open-mouthed kisses and teasing him with a view he was guaranteed to be daydreaming about for a while. 

“___, please,” Heeseung begged for you and started playing with his nipples over his shirt— your baby just couldn’t keep still. 

So fucking cute. 

You gripped his base and let the tip of his cock slip against the soft palate of your mouth, then nearly all the way to the back of your throat with a gag.

“F-fuck— Ngh!”

The action jarred him immensely, and he looked absolutely fucked out with his glasses falling off his face, his hot breath fogging up the lenses. God, it stirred something deep and primal inside you to know you were able to bring him to such a vulnerable state.

You just adored this side of him, and could feel your panties sticking against your lower lips as slick dripped down your thighs. The soreness in your knees hardly registered while you began to thrust your hips, longing for friction even just from your panties; your swollen pussy throbbed incessantly. 

The pace of your relentless bobbing quickened as you choked around his cock, unexpected tears stinging your eyes from how deep you were taking him. You let them spill down your cheeks, only wishing you could take him even deeper somehow, wanting his cock kissing and rubbing against your insides while he took you. The tell tale sensation of your clit twitching was the only warning your body gave you before you were overrun by an orgasm you couldn’t have anticipated. 

With a muffled sob, your pussy fluttered then began clenching around nothing in deep contractions that rocked you to your core, clit begging for more stimulation as you somehow came untouched just from the mere thought of getting pummeled by Heeseung.

One hand remained curled around his cock while you shoved the other between your thighs to work rapid circles over your panties— and then you were coming even harder, spurts of cum creating a messy puddle at your knees. 

He felt your uncontrollable moans shoot up his cock and was unable to escape from their encompassing vibrations. 

“Fuck—!” The curse was drawn out, and gruff— full of desperation.

Despite how incredibly tensed up Heeseung was, his palms brushed atop your head as he threaded his trembling fingers through your hair, attempting to nudge you off of him. His whole body was trembling, but you wouldn’t let him, even as he shook his head, calling your name in a wrecked voice. 

Unadulterated pleasure allowed you to ignore the discomfort and swallow around him as deeply as you could; he broke at the sensation of you choking around him. 

Heeseung’s head lolled back in complete silence when he was left with no choice but to let himself go. His bare hips shot up from his seat against your face and made your throat convulse, rendering himself an absolute wreck under your touch.

You kept him suspended in pleasure for as long as you could, spit and cum spilling from the corners of your lips— even when he finished and fell limp on the chair, you licked him clean, suckling on his sensitive tip to the point where he was whimpering.

His incomparable taste only made you wetter, and your knees gave out as you collapsed on the floor. You rested your cheek against his thigh as you proudly played with his thick, musky cum on your tongue, exploring the texture. It tasted equally addictive. 

“___,” Heeseung was blushing as he took your jaw in his hand, his thumb pressing into your lips, “You’re crazy. Spit that out….”

“What? No,” You frowned, “Where?”

Heeseung scanned the room in a panic for a non-existent trash can before he cupped his palms together, and held his hands up to your lips.

You nearly choked on his cum from laughter. However, you sat back and spread your legs to reveal your ruined panties glossed over with your release.

“You—“ Heeseung gasped as you pulled back the fabric from your skin to show off the way your pretty pussy glistened for him.

He didn’t want to believe his eyes when he witnessed his cum dribble from your pink tongue onto your skin like a sweet glaze. Prayed they were playing tricks on him when you clenched the second it hit and how you smeared it through your folds as you twitched and pleasured yourself for an intimate moment before licking his cum off your lithe fingers…

“You taste so yummy.” 

And how dare you look at him with those eyes.

Heeseung snapped and was already hauling you to your feet; you just ensured there was no way you were leaving this room without getting fucked. 

Now there wasn’t a single bone in him that cared if a library staff passed by and threatened to throw the two of you out. He would take his time finishing you off with them standing there, and then carry your limp body out of the building if he had to. 

He’s never felt more deranged in his entire life, and that was a testament to you. 

“That’s fucking dirty,” Heeseung gripped at your hips and held onto your skirt as he pushed you up against the wall, towering over you. 

“No, baby,” You pulled him down against your lips and he melted into it regardless, “Not if it’s you.”

You sneaked your fingers over his spent cock, but he shoved your hand away. With a laugh, you allowed him to press his knee between your damp thighs and squirmed against him, “You’re getting hard again, Hee.”

The pleats of your skirt gathered in his grasp as he squeezed your ass hard enough to make you yelp. “Who liked sucking my cock so much that they squirted in their panties?”

“T-that was definitely a first time for me, too,” You grinned up at him as he worked on rolling your skirt high on your waist.

“You know what you just did tells me?”

He groped at the front of your breasts and kneaded them greedily over your sweatshirt, drawing heavy moans from your lips as your nipples remained hard under his hands. 

“No bra,” He muttered under his breath.

It felt like your body was overheating again, “What— What does it tell you?”

The way Heeseung dragged his lips over your pulse, and gradually marked your skin with continuous suckles weakened your knees. 

Your eyes shut tight from the overwhelming desire dripping from his voice, breath hot against your skin, “It tells me you’re a sweet little slut for my cum.”

“Ah, a cum slut,” You panted, “Says the one who couldn’t stop tasting me the other day. If anyone’s a slut for cum, it’s you, baby.”

‘Baby.’

Ever since you started to call him the term of endearment, he felt sick to his stomach and imagined himself doing one other thing besides kissing you senseless—

Heeseung fell to his knees, not once taking his eyes off you. It felt like the right place to be, it always had from the start. 

You stopped breathing altogether when Heeseung removed his glasses and haphazardly slid them to the side on the floor. His half-lidded, hungry eyes bore into yours. 

Even though all signs indicated you were in a dangerous spot with him, you continued, “You’re the one on your knees, ‘boutta—“

He gripped your thighs and licked a thick stripe against the soaked fabric of your swollen mound. 

Oh god.

Your fingers curled into his messy locks to steady yourself. 

“Arms behind your back. Keep them there until I’m done cleaning up this filthy pussy.”

You hesitated, “But—“

Heeseung slapped the back of your thigh so he could strip you out of your soiled panties. He gave you a look that had you swallowing your complaint. 

Quietly, you locked your arms behind your back and leaned against the wall, although your expression was far from delighted, likely because you were just coming off of your high from being in control. 

“___,” He spoke softly, “If it gets too much, you know you can tell me to stop at any time, right?”

“I know, and trust me, I will.”

“I want you to choose a safe word for today.”

“Ah,” You felt your cheeks flush, that was the first time anyone’s ever asked you that. “Buttercream…?”

His eyes creased in amusement. “Perfect. I should’ve guessed.”

Heeseung dragged his middle finger between your folds and watched a mixture of your fresh arousal and his cum string along his fingers; it gave away how much you were enjoying this. He licked the mess off his digit and splayed his hands over your tummy, feeling the warmth of your supple skin under your skirt. 

“See!” You accused him. 

“Behave,” He nipped at your inner thigh, “I’d hate to have to punish you again.”

“I’m sure you would— Aahn—“ The delicate kiss he planted on your clit had you pressing your mound against his face. 

He might’ve been rough with you to start, but he knew you were sensitive from your orgasm. His hands pushed and pulled at your flesh, but his lips were tender on your pussy. He made you so wet when he laved his tongue against your clit and littered kisses over it, you could hardly help yourself from dribbling onto his chin. 

“Oh, Heeseung….”

He hummed in satisfaction against your pussy when you moaned his name so sweetly. 

Tension was ever present in your body, and sweat trickled down between your breasts at the effort of standing over Heeseung, enduring his torture when all you wanted to do was collapse on him. 

The lapping of his tongue grew more insistent between your folds as he tasted the mess of himself there, as he tasted you.  

“Hmnh— Aah!”

“Stay still. You’re not clean yet,” Heeseung pinned your hips against the wall and plunged his tongue into your slit to collect your arousal. It was impossible not to rock against his pretty face whenever his nose nudged your engorged clit.

Once his lips enveloped the nub, your vision blurred, and your knees shook as you tensed up, drawing to the tips of your toes while you fought to stay standing. 

“Heeseung… Heeseung— Hee, I can’t!”

Just as your legs gave out and your back slid down the wall, Heeseung broke your fall and caught you in a heap on his lap. 

“Heeseung,” You let out a frustrated whine against his neck.

Since you lacked the strength to stay right side up, your orgasm was ripped from you, and Heeseung stopped pleasuring you right before you were able to reach your high. 

He gripped you by your thighs to lift you into his arms and stood up. You heard the shuffling of papers and textbooks dropping to the floor as Heeseung shoved them out of the way and laid you on top of the table. 

“Poor baby couldn’t stay still. You know what happens now, right?”

Your surroundings melted away, and when your vision finally focused, all you could see was Heeseung hovering over you, caging you in below him. With your arousal covering his swollen lips and sweat dampening his hair, he looked like a complete wreck and genuinely the wildest you’ve ever seen him.

The lethal look in his eyes took you back to that night you said goodbye to him in front of the bus stop, but even then, they held only a fraction of the intensity compared to now. 

You tried to gather yourself before speaking up but found it difficult to catch your breath. 

“I’ll— I’ll be a good little slut for you,” Even though you felt fear, your words still had bite to them, “Is that what you want to hear?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you at that moment to give Heeseung a hard time, but you liked the surprised reaction you got out of him; it felt fair after he edged you the way he did. 

“On second thought, why don’t I just—“ You dared to sink two fingers into your pussy and began pumping in and out of yourself. Rolling your neck to the side, you moaned softly at the intrusion. 

Heeseung grabbed your wrist and yanked your fingers out of you. It was challenging to put up a fight when he slammed your hands back onto the table and held your arms above you, “Quit being a brat.”

You felt him reach for something on the table but realized it was the thin ribbon when he tied it tightly around your wrist in a knot. 

“Is your cock that needy for me?”

“If we’re gonna talk about needy,” You felt Heeseung’s warm breath against your ear as he curled his fingers into you, “Let’s talk about this tight little cunt.”

Heeseung, you bad boy. 

He was much, much dirtier and meaner than you gave him credit for. He caught on easily to what you liked, when you wanted it, and enjoyed it all the while.

You arched your back off the table. “Mmn— You hate being so sweet, don’t you?”

With one hand holding your trembling thigh open, Heeseung leaned down and spat against your clit. You gasped as your body jolted, head falling back against the table with a thump. You could feel it dribble down into your entrance as he added a third finger and moved faster inside of you, deeper. 

Heeseung watched intently as your chest rose and fell at an irregular rate, feeling you squeeze around his knuckles. 

“Fuck,” You licked at the corner of your lips and continued to mock him, “M-must hate being around such a needy girl like me who’ll use you for all your worth without a second thought—“

“Quiet,” He dug his fingers into the flesh of your cheeks, “Show me that tongue.”

You tilted your chin up and flashed your pink tongue at him without hesitation. That shameless expression of yours, paired with your dewy make-up, made his cock twitch heavily against the table as if you hadn’t just milked him dry. 

“You look like a real pretty mess, baby.”

Heeseung’s cock brushed against you as he leaned in close. With no effort, he spat harshly against your tongue, and the second his saliva hit, your mouth watered. Heeseung chuckled darkly, seeing that your eyes couldn’t have rolled further into your head.

“Yummy?”

You relished his saliva on your tongue and excitedly wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him against your core, “Fuck me.”

He pulled out his fingers and enjoyed the sweet taste of you on them, before kissing you mindlessly.

“That’s more like it, ___.” 

He tugged your ass to the edge of the table, then flipped you onto your stomach, forcing your feet to touch the floor. 

“I have a condom,” He mentioned, running his hand down your spine, and was prepared to reach for one.

“No, let me feel you. I’m on a pill,” You revealed.

Heeseung lazily swiped his fingers back and forth against your folds. “I see how it is….”

“Mm, god,” You pressed your cheek against the table and could hear the rustling of his jeans. 

“You can’t wait for me to fill you up with my hot cum, can you?”

“I can wait all day,” You lied through your teeth, “But clearly someone just likes to take their time— ah!”

You jerked against the table in surprise at the sharp slap of his palm over your ass. His eyes roved over the arch of your back and the curve of your ass appreciatively. 

“I’ll take all the time that I want. Now, be honest.”

Your nails dug into your bound hands; you wanted him inside you so badly. “Fuck….”

Another harsh slap landed against the same cheek.

“You wore this little skirt to show off this tight ass and perfect pussy,” Heeseung snapped his wrist, landing continuous small blows atop your skin that grew harder each time, causing your skin to turn red. “I can do this all night, and I don’t care who comes around that corner.”

He stopped to grip your ass cheeks and watch your flesh bulge over his fingers. Shortly after, Heeseung smacked your ass with the most force he’s used to date, and you couldn’t contain your broken moan. 

“You enjoy being what you are, and you know exactly what that is. Say it.”

Your lip began to sting from how tightly you were biting down on it to stifle your voice. He plunged his fingers back inside of you without warning, and you cried out, tensing around him in need, then he left you empty.

That felt so damn good.

Your plan to rile Heeseung up was indeed working, even though you weren’t sure where it’d lead the two of you. Even though you hadn’t ventured into such extreme dynamics in your sex life, with the way Heeseung submissively fell into step by your side earlier, you were burning to find out if you could take the heat. 

“You—You’re gonna have to make me,” You huffed.

Silence. Then more swishing of fabric.

Heeseung neatly gathered the ends of your hair and looped the strands around his hand until he was sinking his grip into your scalp. His bare chest pressed against your back, and at the same time, his rumbly voice tickled your ear. 

“If we were back at my place, I’d make you do all sorts of things…” The promise in his voice caused your skin to break out in goosebumps, “… But making you admit something as simple as that can certainly be done right now.”

The swollen tip of his cock pressed against your entrance, and there was hardly time to brace yourself when Heeseung eased into you at a begrudgingly slow pace. As he fed his raw cock into you, your walls contracted deliciously around his wide girth.

“Ah!”

“Easy, let me in,” He urged, thrusting in and out of you at a rather sweet tempo; he had yet to bottom out. “How else is my little slut going to get her daily dose of cum?”

A gush of your arousal soaked his length and trickled down your thighs as Heeseung worked you open. 

“So wet but so tight. Maybe I should just—“

He slammed the remaining way in, and pushed you up further onto the table. His hand sank into your hip, so you stayed right where he wanted you. 

“Oh, god!” 

Before you could fully adjust, he began to piston his hips into yours at a ruthless pace that made you drool uncontrollably. You tried to hide your moans, but Heeseung’s hold on your hair made you struggle to steady yourself on your forearms if you didn’t want it to be painful.

Intent on making you work a little, Heeseung guided you to curl up higher onto your elbows and eventually your palms with the slight tug of his fist. Sweat gathered at your temple from the effort of stabilizing yourself. 

His other hand moved from your hip to caress your bouncing tits under your sweatshirt, then smooth over your throat so he could bend you back even further and look you in the eye. 

That was when you realized he was going easy on you. Even with the unceasing thrusts of his cock, you could see him take a moment to tentatively check up on your state of being, and your heart swelled. 

“How’s that feel, baby?” Heeseung swiped at the drool beading along your lips, and you saw him note the tears that threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes.  

“So good, I can feel you so, so deep… I can take more,” You insisted. 

The clapping of his hips against your ass began to slow significantly, causing you to draw in a deep, painful breath. 

No, no, no—

“But, I thought you said you’re not my cum slut?” He released your hair as he straightened up, leaving you longing for his warmth against your back. “I just remembered, you’re not my little whore….”

So cruel.

He could feel your pussy fighting to keep him inside, but only his angry red tip remained as you tried to push back against him.

“No, don’t stop!” You begged, “I’m your… your….”

“You’re my what?”

Tears of frustration finally spilled down your cheeks which were burning from embarrassment as you helplessly stared at the blurry wall of the study room. “I’m your fucking cum slut. I’m— I’m your whore—“

You felt his strong hands wrap around your waist and arm to tug you up to sitting. He slid your bound hands over his head so you could cling to his neck as he pressed close to your tear-stained face. 

“Mm,” Heeseung soothed you, kissing your tears away, “And you’re so, so precious to me. You’re all mine, baby— Isn’t that right?”

“Mhm,” You hiccuped against his lips as his thumbs kneaded your puffy nipples, feeling like you were in a roller coaster of a dream.

There wasn’t a gleam of light in his eyes, yet you felt their heat consuming you. It felt natural to be held by him like this, with your sweaty chests pressed together and your ankles hooked at his lower back, breathing each other’s air. 

It never felt like this before, for you.

Heeseung filled you to the brim with his cock once more, “Good girl.”

The mere stretch of his girth had you clenching erratically, and likewise, you had him on the verge of coming a second time which was a feat in itself. Each quick drag of his cock along your walls was a solace; it made his balls spasm, and he found his thrusts growing more chaotic by the second. To be able to feel you uninhibited like this was a pleasure he couldn’t have fathomed, ever. 

“Bet you can’t even imagine how good you’re making my cock feel right now—“

Heeseung was so big, and never even came close to slipping out of you when he’d swiftly wind his hips up only to slam back in. Since his cock made you feel as if you’d burst, his tip kissed the deepest parts of your insides and made you feel completely inundated by his obsession to ruin you.

“Think you’re gonna be able to walk up in front of the class without looking like you got fucked every which way?”

You shook your head vigorously. He loved the way you tugged the damp hair at his nape harshly as a warning and could tell his words were getting to you. 

“I know, baby.”

“H-Heeseung—” You felt your tummy start to tense up, and your clit throb madly, “Ah-aah—”

“That’s it, beautiful—“

There was no need to say a word beyond his name, Heeseung knew you were ready. His deft fingers stroked your sensitive clit with precision, and he watched you come undone on his cock with rapt attention, like the most fascinating visual treat was unfolding before him. 

You were so entrenched in pleasure that you couldn’t utter a single word; white blinded your vision as your head fell back, and you felt Heeseung secure you as you seized around him, toes curling in your sneakers. 

With a yank, the collar of your sweatshirt slipped over your shoulder, and you felt him sink his teeth into the side of your neck— swore you heard a deep growl rip from his throat across your skin. It didn’t hurt at all, it just made you feel so weak. 

Heeseung knew he could count on you going utterly limp, and he stuffed you silly with his cock until his creamy cum spilled and sweetened your insides. His own limbs threatened to give out from the force of his release, but he braced himself over you with heavy pants until you tugged him down, wanting to feel his comforting weight on you. 

He groaned but cherished your embrace and swallowed your pleased sighs with a kiss that made it known you were loved. Heeseung licked over your bruised, glistening skin and murmured your name. 

“I’m really proud of you, baby, I know that was a lot. How do you feel?”

A single groan was your only response as you kept your eyes shut tight from pure exhaustion and bliss. 

“___.” Heeseung insisted on hearing your voice. 

“I’m fantastic…” That earned you a smile from him. 

Satisfied, Heeseung removed your clenched fists from around his neck and held your wrists in place to snap a taut portion of the ribbon with his teeth. The release of pressure was a relief; your skin had subtle marks from the ribbon that would disappear within an hour, but Heeseung rubbed gently at the slight indents while looking you over. 

“I’m not crazy,” Somehow you opened your eyes a smidge, head still pounding with dull pleasure, “You’re crazy.”

He kissed over your wrists and flushed knuckles. “Too crazy…?”

“No. No, I loved it. All of it,” You reassured him, already anticipating aches and pains.

“Was there anywhere I went overboard? You can always tell me, even if you think of something later.”

Heeseung pulled out slowly, and you watched as his warm cum oozed out of your entrance, pooling onto the table by your ass. He wore a teasing smile as he made sure to spread his cum over your pussy and then give it a light slap. 

You shuddered at the sensation. If he wasn’t careful, he’d definitely turn you on again.

“Oh my god. Um, uh…”

You were able to breathe easy when he returned to cleaning you up as gently as possible with a pack of wipes he unearthed from his bag.

“I really liked it all. It’s fun putting up a fight when you boss me around,” He snorted when you playfully tapped under his chin, “I guess you could always stand to be a little meaner to me, Hee.”

“Really? We’ll have to chat about that then,” He proposed.

“Sure… Mm,” You twitched as he dabbed a fresh wipe between your sticky thighs. Heeseung noticed and squeezed your thigh comfortingly.

“Don’t bother trying to move for the next five minutes. I’ll clean up here, then let’s get you something to eat.”

“Okay. Don’t you have work?” While you rearranged your clothing, you glanced out the window overlooking the campus and couldn’t believe the sun had already set. At least a couple of hours must’ve passed. 

Heeseung scurried about the room to gather his shirt and the abused textbooks he’d discarded in the heat of the moment.

“I took today and tomorrow off for finals. I’m all yours.”

Heeseung knew exactly what to say to make your face warm.  

You reached for a macaron off to the side and licked at the filling as your legs dangled over the edge of the tabletop. “Then can we pick up Thai and eat at your place? You still owe me some feedback on my project.”

“Yes. We can do anything you’d like.”

“Can I shower with you and sleep over again?”

Heeseung paused in his tracks and flashed you a knowing smile, “I’d like that a lot.”

You swiped his sweaty bangs away from his brown eyes that somehow still had a touch of naïveté in them and kissed him with a mouthful of buttercream. After several seconds, the books slipped from his grasp onto the floor, but neither of you flinched.

The two of you parted only to stare at each other in heat until you traced at his lower lip and he licked at the tips of your delicate fingers, placing kisses on each one— an ardent expression of devotion blended with desire.

All that you’ve ever wanted.

“Wouldn’t you, baby?”

—

A/N CONT.

Waaah, I loved writing this fic so much, almost as much as I love Heeseung. Please like, reblog or leave feedback if you enjoyed! Comments are always greatly appreciated 💗

For Hee’s characterization, I wanted to capture the different facets of what I think makes him loveable, and I adore how he came to life here. I reworked this fic a lot until I was satisfied. About 5 months has passed since I started working on this, and since then I’ve been working on my career, questioned my life choices because of it, wanted to give up in general, turned 24 (HELP), slept way too much, saw Enha 3x and got a flying kiss from Hee! 😵‍💫

Maybe I’ll share some concert photos bc he’s fucking stunning (they all are) and they put on a sublime performance through and through.

Anyways, I’m still figuring out life like the rest of you are. Woo.

Even though I write fiction and smut for fun, I wanted to make sure this was still a quality read with hopes to inspire more people to write about what fulfills them first and foremost. Before I abruptly left for a while, I felt a weird pressure from this site to perform and it hampered my creativity, making me super self-conscious. I think a lot of people can relate. I don’t want to sweat it though, because that can take the fun out of things.

Thus, any future fic posts will be like today’s; less frequent and more intentional when I’m ready. If you don’t mind that, feel free to stick around for the ride (a lot of you already do understand and I’m grateful). I’ll probably lurk a bit more here again since I’ve always liked Tumblr more than any other platform, you guys are my preferred deranged people heheh.

I did write NIIY so that I can continue Hee’s + MC’s story if I ever wanted to. If you followed me over half a year ago, then you know I lost all my fic drafts. Well, by a fucking miracle, I managed to recover everything just last week from my deleted google drive which is a MAJOR WIN. There’s a pretty obvious hint about what one of my next AU fics might be which was in my old drafts, but I’ll give more of an update of future fics when they’re closer to being finished which is likely months out.

If you ever want writing advice or just wanna talk Enha/recc fics feel free to tag or message me. 🙂⚰️

— P.

[blairsanne]

Try Therapy - Part 4: Shaken

For the @deanobingo event!

The Brokenwood Mysteries - Barnaby Buchanan & Reader 3160 words

Summary: Barnaby is diligently befriending you, and invites you for tea. When an unexpected event occurs, memories of your traumatic past come up, leading to both of you opening up about what you've been through.

CW: Mentions of therapy, ombrophobia, claustophobia, anxiety/panic attacks, breathing techniques, brief mention of torture, natural disaster (earthquake) and related destruction.

As the weeks wore on, you and Barnaby continued to have brief chats before he left in the morning and when he returned from his ‘work’. 

Barnaby continued to keep a log of these ‘pleasant’ interactions, quite chuffed to report on them to his therapist, who seemed pleased himself that Barnaby had genuinely made a friend.

One evening, as you were readying your bike to leave, he jogged out of his house with a book in hand. “I found it!”

“Hm?” You stood beside your bike, leaning it back against the side of the house again so you could face him.

“That book we were discussing the other day. About the- the librarian. It was just behind some others on the shelf.”

He held out the novel in question, part of a mystery series by an author you both liked. He’d offered to lend it to you the week before, but you’d completely forgotten about it.

“Oh! Keen, ta.” You turned it over in your hands, smiling as you skimmed over the description on the back.

“I really enjoyed it, like I said. Quite a change of setting from her usual novels.” “Hm.” “Do you get out to the library much?”

You looked up at him and your mouth fell open as you struggled with how to answer. “I- used to.”

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, confused by your discomfort. You were such an avid reader, he’d assumed-

“Oh! Right- with the-” his eye twitched as he fidgeted. “All those shelves in such a small space.” He gestured with his hands to indicate the tight space.

You nodded, pursing your lips. “Something like that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” “No, no worries. It’s not like I forgot I was claustrophobic.”

“Mm.”

He shifted his weight and rubbed the back of his neck, still feeling guilty for the oversight.

He’d not been great at socializing since the accident, and he worried he might run you off at any moment. Still, something had been gnawing at him for the last week.

He licked his lips. “Can I ask you something?” “Of course.”

“No- that’s-” You watched him close his eyes to try to stop his eye twitch. “I mean- I- I want to ask you to answer me honestly, even if- if you don’t think I’d want to hear the answer.”

“Oh…” You furrowed your brow slightly, concerned by what he meant by that.

What was he about to ask? About Betty? Would he ask if you thought he was crazy like the town did?

“Er- the answer is still ‘of course’, then,” you encouraged.

He made eye contact with you, his sheepish, vulnerable expression making your chest ache. “Did Dennis tell you to be nice to me?”

You laughed, confused. “What?”

“Is he paying you to- to be friendly with me, when you’re here?” He watched your amused confusion turn to hurt and horror.

“Of course not.” You closed your eyes, wincing, supposing that wasn’t entirely honest. “Well, obviously since it’s a job, I can’t be rude, either, but-”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him pleadingly. “But getting to know you and whatnot, that’s not- I’m just here to tend to Betty. Being your friend was just a…” You swallowed. “Happy accident.”

He let out a small, relieved laugh. “Right. Alright.” He looked away, wincing. “Sorry, that was a rude thing to ask, then.”

“No, I- I think I understand. When people are so unkind, normally, then, it can be hard to know if someone is pitying you or…” You trailed off, staring at the ground. 

Maybe you didn’t think a horse was your wife, but you’d dealt with weird reactions from others yourself on occasion. It was isolating, and you’d often felt frustrated that other people saw your trauma as an inconvenience to them. Like it was something you’d chosen.

“So,” Barnaby’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “In the interest of spending time together- as friends- I wondered if there was anything I could do.” He blinked unevenly as you met his gaze again. “To- To make my home a suitable place for tea or… what have you.”

“Oh, to- not trigger it, you mean?”

“Yes. You’ve been very accommodating, with the sink, and the car, and I thought I ought to- Er- make it easier for you to spend time here. That is-” His face twitched again. “I-in the spirit of reciprocity.”

The offer was deeply touching to you, and you felt yourself choking up even as you smiled. “That’s really kind. Nobody ever-” You held your fist to your lips as you looked away.

Barnaby waited as you took a few deep breaths before turning to face him again.

“Mostly it’s small spaces that set it off. So I like to be outside, or in a bigger room… Tall ceilings, like the barn… Or close to an exit.”

He nodded, committing these remarks to memory very seriously.

“But,” You felt your shoulders raising as you hugged yourself. “I’m trying to challenge that. I’m supposed to be practicing the things that make me uncomfortable. Apparently that makes them easier.”

You smiled somewhat self-deprecatingly.

Barnaby met your smile with a genuine one. “My therapist said the same thing. Wants me to try the hard things, a little at a time.”

“Right, exactly.”

“Maybe we could…” He licked his lips, feeling inexplicably nervous. “Practice them together.”

You lit up. “Oh, that’s smart! Then we can lean on each other if things get too hard.”

“Yes,” Barnaby’s voice held a laugh of relief now. “Yes, exactly.”

“Keen.”

You grinned at each other for a beat.

You moved to put the book in your bag. “I should probably get going. But I’ll start this tonight and let you know what I think.”

“Yes, of course.” Barnaby backed up, wiping his hands on his pants as he felt awkward again. “So- Do you think tomorrow you could stay for tea after…?”

You looked up as you got on your bike, thinking of your schedule. “Actually, I have an appointment tomorrow evening. But the next day?”

“Oh. Okay! Then, I-I’ll look forward to that, then.”

You smiled warmly at him, quite chuffed that he wanted to spend more time with you - Betty notwithstanding.

“Me too.” You licked your lips, giving him a quick lookover. “You’re a good friend, Barnaby.”

You watched his face flash through several competing emotions before he pursed his lips and gave you a nod.

Though he wouldn’t say so outside of his sessions, having a (human) friend to talk candidly with about all sorts of things had been surprisingly helpful and enjoyable. He hadn’t thought that shrinking his social circle to just his wife and brother would take such a toll on him, but he realized now that it had.

Not that he’d had much choice, given the way people thought of him.

“You too. See you in the morning.”

“Night, then.”

“Good night.”

--

Two days later, you found yourself sitting in Barnaby’s living room.

He had rearranged the furniture somewhat since the last time you’d been inside, and had suggested you take a seat on the sofa nearest the door, which afforded you a view out the large window to the early evening sky.

You found yourself glancing out of it periodically as he made several trips to the kitchen and back for the teapot, cups, and a tray of various biscuits.

“Too much, Barnaby,” you murmured, feeling guilty despite him having told you at least three times not to get up to help him.

He poured you a cup of tea, smiling to himself. “It’s been ages since I’ve hosted anyone besides Dennis or Amy.”

“Who’s Amy?”

Barnaby stilled momentarily as he finished pouring his own cup of tea. He carefully set down the pot, then sat in a chair perpendicular to you.

“I was seeing her about- er- everything. But…” Barnaby gripped his hands together on his lap, not making eye contact. “Well, you must have heard what happened to Jakob Deschler.”

You frowned, trying to recall the details of the Deschler murder case.

You knew from what Dennis had told you that Barnaby had briefly been a suspect because of his time at the clinic, but it hadn’t been him of course. It had been some counselor or another who you hadn’t known.

Oh.

“I’m so sorry, that’s…”

“That’s bad,” Barnaby confirmed matter-of-factly, giving a nod.

He took a deep breath and reached forward to take a biscuit. “Sorry; that’s not very friendly conversation.” He hummed in disappointment, silently wondering if he had ruined the whole endeavour.

“It’s fine,” you assured him softly. Then, wanting to lighten the tone, you mirrored his actions and took a biscuit. “In any event, it’s nice to be hosted so thoughtfully.”

Barnaby nodded, straightening up a bit as he put on his most congenial airs. “It is my absolute pleasure.”

You started telling him about a new book series you were reading, and it didn’t take long for both of you to put the thoughts of Jakob Deschler and his clinic completely from your minds.

Time passed easily as you discussed various books and films, and Barnaby was just describing an art exhibit he’d seen once in Hamilton when you both felt a rumble beneath you.

The tea set made a tinkling sound as it rattled against the table, and you looked up to see everything in the small home moving as an earthquake shook it.

You gripped the armrest of the sofa tightly, feeling like the air was closing in on you, your throat tight. Your pulse raced, your mind alight with terrifying, unhelpful thoughts.

“I can’t-” You ran out of the house, feeling like you were choking, clutching at your pained chest.

“Where’re you going!?”

Barnaby stared after you out the open door in shock, unable to follow you into the rain. He watched you fall to your knees on the grass, hyperventilating.

You couldn’t push the memories from your mind as your body panicked, reliving your trauma.

--

The earthquake had been one for the record books.

The city in shambles, you were one of dozens trapped in the rubble.

When the tremor had started, you had been on your way to your usual study spot in the city library. You’d watched someone’s pencil roll off a table, and instinctively thrown yourself under the one closest to you. The people who had dug you out had cited it as having saved you from further injury.

Still, when the roof had collapsed, you’d been confined there, surrounded by the broken pieces of your favourite place. Buried in a small pocket of safety, in the dark.

It had been too small a space to move much, curled over yourself and trying to avoid the jagged bits of glass, metal, plaster, and who-knew-what that had encased you.

You had heard the sirens, muffled, in all directions as emergency responders had triaged the devastation. You had heard the cries of others nearby, too. Some of them had gotten lucky, like you; some of them hadn’t.

When they finally started digging through the library for people, your voice was already hoarse from screaming for help, but you’d kept on, desperate for escape.

Your minor scrapes and bruises had recovered before your voice, so in the days following the event, you’d kept your fears to yourself; crying alone when your body had gone into panic mode every time you tried to sleep - curled up in the dark.

--

Barnaby grabbed his largest umbrella and paced a bit, making a whining noise as he screwed up his courage.

Finally, he stepped out into the rain, umbrella mostly shielding him, and ran over to where you were. “Please come back inside?!” He crouched near you, holding out another open umbrella.

You looked up at him, still breathing erratically and looking confused about what was going on.

“Deep breaths, right? Four, seven, eight.”

You took the handle of the offered umbrella, only then realizing that you were quite wet, and nodded.

Together you inhaled to a count of four - timed by Barnaby’s head bobbing - held it for a count of seven, and then exhaled for a count of eight. Immediately you felt more grounded in the moment with him. 

After a few cycles of this, he glanced toward the house, still deeply uncomfortable.

“Better?” he asked hopefully.

You nodded.

“Inside?”

You hesitated, but nodded as you shivered from the cold. “Sure.”

He led you back to the house, disappearing immediately to leave you standing alone just inside the door, sopping wet. 

You looked down at the puddle you were making, and memories of Barnaby’s discomfort with rain and leaks flashed through your chaotic mind, making you feel guilty. 

Your pulse raced again, fear and anxiety telling you that you were making a mess; that you were being a burden; that Barnaby wouldn’t want you here; that he would stop being your friend.

He appeared again, wrapped in multiple towels and holding out a large one for you.

“I’m sorry, Barnaby,” you sobbed, pulling the towel he offered against your chest and face. “You were just trying to do something nice and now I’ve forced you out in the storm-”

“No, it’s- It’s fine, you- You panicked, it’s-”

“When the house shook, it was just like that time and I-”

You felt his hand squeeze your shoulder, and you sniffled, looking up from the towel to see him staring back at you solemnly.

“It’s alright. You’re alright.”

He searched your eyes, not quite sure yet what had set you off, but knowing that you needed to come out of that panicked response.

“Deep breaths.”

His steady voice and presence had a calming effect on you, and you felt yourself grounding into the moment.

You nodded and started to dry yourself off, counting the timing of your breaths as you broke eye contact with him in shame.

He pursed his lips, letting go of your shoulder.

He felt a drop of water run over his skin and his eye twitched, suddenly reminded of his own discomfort once again.

“I’ll be right back. Going to dry off and change. I’ll bring you something dry, too.”

“That’s okay, Barna…” You trailed off, looking up to see that he was already leaving the room.

---

You stared down at the mug of hot tea you were cradling. 

You were sitting on the couch opposite Barnaby again, dressed in a pair of joggers and a “Brains Matter” t-shirt that were too large for Barnaby; gifts from his brother Dennis, apparently.

You had both dried off, and Barnaby had refreshed the teapot to help warm you up after your soaking.

A thick silence had fallen between you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, afraid of the judgment you were sure you’d read on his face.

Barnaby shifted in his seat, tapping his fingers against his lap briefly as he anticipated sharing what he was about to.

“When I was in the clinic,” he began, taking off his glasses to clean them despite having done so several times already since going outside.

You glanced over to him, surprised that he was talking about that.

“They, um- They would drip water on us. It was- well- literally, torture. W-water torture. That’s why I…”

You nodded. Dennis had told you briefly about Barnaby’s time at the Deschler Clinic, by way of explaining his many quirks. It occurred to you now that Barnaby probably hadn’t given Dennis permission to do that.

“I’m sorry,” you offered, voice small. “That should never have happened to you.”

“No,” Barnaby almost laughed in anger. “No, it shouldn’t have.”

He leaned forward to pour himself another mug of tea.

“But I’ve learned to move forward. Therapy is helping again, and having someone to-” He glanced briefly at you. “Having you as a friend.”

You nodded, pursing your lips. You held your mug up to blow on the steaming liquid inside, listening to the sound of the rain outside, muffled by the sturdy house.

“I suppose you’re curious why I ran out.” “You don’t have to tell me-” “It was the shaking.”

He settled into his seat, watching you intently.

You put down your tea, then proceeded to explain to him how you’d been trapped in the rubble during the big earthquake a few years prior.

“When the ground rumbled like that… I thought- It’s happening again. I’m going to get stuck again, and-” You shut your mouth and eyes, trying to fight the hot tears that rolled over your cheek.

Barnaby got up, grabbing a box of tissues from one of his side tables, and moved to sit at your side. He tapped your knee with the box.

You tensed at his proximity, but took a tissue to try to clean yourself up.

“But you didn’t get stuck again,” he reassured you.

You nodded, looking down.

“It was hard, but you got through it, eh?”

“Mm.”

“Just like how I was able to go out to get you.”

In truth, he was feeling a significant amount of pride for how he’d handled it, already planning to cite the experience to his therapist.

“I’m so sorry, Barnaby. I made you do something like-” “No, it’s fine-”

“I completely overreacted. My body just panics, and sometimes I can’t stop it. I feel so foolish.” You pressed the tissue against your eyes, covering your face in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Barnaby hesitated as he reached out, then placed his warm hand on your back.

“You needn’t apologize for that. Not to me.”

He felt the rhythm of your breath as you forced yourself to calm down.

“Friends help each other,” he reminded you.

You let out a small, laughing huff. “I reckon.” You finished drying your face, feeling a bit better.

You turned to face him, and realized you were much closer than usual. His pale blue eyes were searching yours, his genuine concern for you evident. You glanced at his lips and then down again, feeling your heart in your throat as you imagined kissing him.

“Would you like a hug?” Barnaby offered, unsure.

It had been ages since he’d hugged someone, and he worried it might set off your claustrophobia, but he had a strong urge to comfort and protect you.

You nodded, humming in mild agreement. You leaned into him, reaching your arms under his to hold him from your awkward seat beside him.

His own arms wrapped around you, pulling you against him even more as he rested his head against the side of yours. “She’ll be right.”

You nodded, feeling safer in his hold than you’d expected. For a moment, it was more than you could have asked for, wrapped in his warmth and scent like the day he’d lent you his cardigan. 

You relaxed, the painful knot in your back easing as your body accepted that nothing terrible was likely to happen for now.

“Ta.”

-----

Tags: @leonxrdosreign @i-did-not-mean-to @the-butterfly-blues @fortheloveofdurin @ichoosechoasandbeingqueer @missihart23 @gayles55 @spngingerbread21

If you would like to be added or removed from a taglist please just let me know! :)

[ayoxaneka]

I like to imagine how Ayo and Aneka's relationship started so here's one of the MANY scenarios I imagine these two in.

So Aneka just became a member of the Dora Milaje in this scenario and she's still adjusting to becoming a Dora Milaje but because of her outgoing nature it doesn't take a long time before she got to know and befriend almost all of her comrades in the Dora Milaje, including Ayo. Ayo at the time was second in command of the Dora Milaje which means she was right under Okoye in ranking. At first Aneka was contemplating whether to go talk to Ayo herself, but since she didn't want to look like she didn't know what she was doing, especially in front of Ayo since Aneka developed some sort of attraction to her when Aneka first saw her, but Aneka thought that Ayo was way out her league and she didn't want to make a fool of herself so she just stayed quiet. But after three months of being in the Dora Milaje she is called into a meeting by Okoye.

As Aneka was rushing to the room where Okoye had called her to, on the way she stumbled on her leg and almost fell to the floor but she felt someone catch her by clutching the back of her armor, when she turned to see who caught her it was Ayo. Aneka was taken aback by how Ayo unexpectedly showing up and prevented her from falling but Aneka still found her beautiful. Aneka was so caught up in her train of thought that she didn't notice that Ayo was speaking to her.

"Aneka" Ayo said sternly.

"Oh.. em greetings Ayo" Aneka thought that it was a stupid response but it was already out of her mouth

Ayo stared at Aneka for a little bit and asked her where she was going to in such a rush, so Aneka told her that Okoye called her in for a meeting. Ayo told Aneka that Okoye also said that she needed to talk to her. So Ayo decided to walk with Aneka to the room where they were supposed to meet with Okoye.

When they arrived at the room Okoye was already standing there waiting for them, they both crossed their arms to greet their general, Okoye nodded her head and they both straightened up.

"Poachers have been spotted near the river border. They seem to be catching the animals for illegal purposes."Okoye said to the two of them.

"What do you wish for us to do, general?" Aneka asked

Ayo looked at Aneka as if knowing the next thing Okoye was going to say would shock her and indeed it did. Okoye told Aneka that she was going to be partnered with Ayo to stake out the poachers camp from a far distance "But you two are tasked of freeing the animals and capturing the poachers, am I clear?" Okoye noticed Aneka's troubled expression "Is there something you would like to say Aneka?" Okoye asked her.

"With all due respect general, why me? I have only been part of the Dora Milaje for three months, isn't there any one else that would be better and more skilled at this mission than me?"

"This is a great opportunity for you to learn what the field is like for a Dora Milaje, and besides Ayo won't let anything happen to you I'm sure of it"

Ayo and Okoye made eye contact before Ayo moved her head to look at Aneka who was by her side. Ayo paused for a moment as she took in how beautiful Aneka looked to her, especially her eyes. During the three months, Ayo slowly developed an attraction to Aneka, when Aneka would approach Ayo to make converation Ayo was always mesmerized by Aneka. She swore to herself that she won't let any harm be done to her while she was around

"As long as I'm there I promise you that I won't let anything bad happen to you, I won't let a single bullet graze your skin, I promise. " Ayo said to Aneka still keeping eye contact, Aneka was flushed by the little comment Ayo said and she looked away from Ayo because she didn't know if Ayo could tell that she was a little bit flushed by what she said, but Ayo kept her eyes on her. Okoye cleared her throat and after a brief pause she dismissed the both of them.

"Come, let's go prepare" Ayo said as she walked to the door with Aneka, opening it for her so Aneka walked out first and Ayo followed her.

Okoye always knew that the two of them had some sort of attraction to each other. It was the way the two of them talked to each other with so much enthusiasm, but the main reason as to why Okoye found out their not-so-secret attraction for the other was Ayo always looked at Aneka so intently as if she wanted to protect her from anything and how Aneka would always become more enthusiastic around Ayo and how they both bonded very quickly from the little time Aneka started. Even if the two of them didn't fully understand the feelings they held for each other Okoye knew. It was almost like a motherly instinct.

Ayo and Aneka sat up their camp a few feet away from where the poachers were supposed to set up their camp, while they waited they both decided they wanted to catch up with each other. After a few minutes of them talking and laughing together, Aneka asked Ayo a question.

"Why did you sound so serious when you were telling Okoye you would protect me?" Aneka asked Ayo

Ayo stared at her for a moment, that was one of the many things Aneka loved about her, how Ayo would just look at her just like what she was doing right now, "The look of love" is what Aneka's sisters always said when she ever talked about it but she thought it was crazy talk.

"It is because I WAS serious about what I said" Ayo responded to Aneka's question.

Before Aneka could ask Ayo another question she noticed that Ayo was looking to somewhere in the distance, but before Aneka could see at what Ayo was looking at she felt Ayo's hand covering her mouth and before she knew it she was hiding in the tall grass with Ayo still covering her mouth but gently, they were both staying as low to the grown as much as possible to prevent getting spotted, luckily for the two of them the poachers who were partolling the surrounding area left rather fast. Ayo breathed a sigh of relief and she waited for a little bit and she let go of Aneka. Ayo said to Aneka

"I think it's time for us to execute the second phase of the mission" Ayo said to Aneka and she nodded in agreement.

"Do you still remember the plan?" Ayo asked

"Yes, you handle the poachers and create a distraction and I handle the animals." Aneka responded.

Ayo nodded and they both started to slowly crawl their way towards the poachers to not attract any attention. When they were right next to where the poachers were having their bonfire. Ayo looked at Aneka and nodded, so Aneka began to slowly crawl her way towards the animals. When Aneka was at a safe distance away Ayo revealed herself to the poachers. Immediately they had their guns aimed at her, Aneka looked back worried for Ayo, she was about to go back but when the men started firing at Ayo, she easily deflected the bullets with her spear. Seeing this Aneka was amazed by how skilled Ayo was. As Aneka approached the cages, there were many different kinds of animals trapped in cages like lions, a rhino, Cheetahs, Hyenas, a black panther, and there was even one big cage with what looked like a mother elephant and her child. Aneka started freeing the animals from their cages but it was rather time consuming since she had to use her spear to break the pad locks off the cages. After a few minutes the only animals left were the lions, the rhino, and the mother elephant and her calf. As Aneka was deciding which one to free first since they were the biggest animals there, she heard the gunfire die down until it went quiet, so she figured that Ayo knocked out all of the men since they had to be kept alive so they could be brought back to Wakanda so she figured she might free the rhino first since it was getting rather anxious and she didn't want to deal with an anxious rhinoceros. She went up to it's cage in order to free it but she heard a voice behind her.

"Drop your weapon."

Ayo just knocked out the last man firing at her so she was going to Aneka to help her free the animals from their cages.

"Aneka, how are the cages going-" Ayo stopped dead in her tracks. She saw Aneka being held at gunpoint. The poacher also had an arm wrapped firmly on Aneka's neck.

"Don't move or else I will kill her!"

Ayo raised her one arm slightly but she didn't let go of her spear.

"Drop your weapon!" The poacher yelled at her.

"Don't do it Ayo!" Aneka screamed.

Ayo watched as the poacher pressed the barrel of his gun on Aneka's head.

"It might be best for your life if you were to shut up!" The poacher yelled at Aneka.

Just then the both of them heard metal falling to the ground, when they looked up they saw Ayo slightly raising both of her hands. They were shocked, even the poacher, yes he did tell her to drop her weapon but he didn't think she would actually do it. Aneka was shocked as well but not just because Ayo willingly dropped her weapon but Aneka also noticed that Ayo had an emotion on her face she never expected her to have, it was fear.

"Now kick it towards me" The poacher said.

Ayo slowly walked to her spear arms still raised slightly and kicked it toward the poacher.

The poacher looked at her and said.

"You care for this woman very much, don't you?"

Ayo nodded, just then they all heard a rustling sound in the tall grass, they all looked to the direction of the sound and just then Ayo got an idea.

"Reinforcements have arrived" Ayo said and the poacher aimed his gun at her. Ayo was relieved now that Aneka wasn't in that much danger anymore.

"If you shoot me then all of them will come rushing out of their hiding positions to kill you." Ayo said.

The poacher thought for a moment then he aimed at the tall grass and fired blindly at it. The remaining animals that were still stuck in their cages were starting to get anxious, especially the rhinoceros. But all of a sudden the poacher stopped shooting and aimed his gun back to Aneka. At this point the rhino was already ramming its body against the cages door. Aneka noticed that Ayo was tapping her foot on the ground after listening to it very closely she realized that it was a cipher that was taught to the Dora Milaje in case they were in a situation where they couldn't properly talk.

"On my signal run to me" were the words Ayo was ciphering to her.

Aneka nodded slightly, Ayo noticed that the rhinos pad lock was already loose so she decided to take a chance.

"Cho" Immediately Aneka ran towards Ayo and at the same time the rhino burst through it's cage and charged at the poacher . The poacher shot at the rhino and Ayo shielded Aneka from the stray bullets by quickly covering her before any bullets could hit her after a moment the sound of gunfire was over Ayo looked back to see the poachers body slumped against the elephants cage, he didn't seem to be dead but that was the least of her worries.

"Aneka!" Ayo said worriedly and she put both of her hands on Aneka's shoulders

"Are you alright?" Ayo asked cupping Aneka's cheek in her hand after not noticing any injuries on her.

Aneka took Ayo's hand that was on her cheek with both of her hands and she admired the form of her hand.

Ayo just looked at her, thankful she wasn't hurt. After their little moment they released the remaining animals from their cages. Aneka stayed close to Ayo when they released the lions.

"What will we do with the poachers?" Aneka asked. Ayo thought for a moment then she noticed the empty cages.

Okoye had recieved a call on her kimoyo beads just before sunrise from Ayo stating the she and Aneka had successfully finished the mission. So she went to the location Ayo had sent to her.

When she got there she saw all the poachers in one big cage and as she looked around her surroundings she noticed an elephant calf and it's mother. She noticed that she couldn't find Aneka or Ayo anywhere, so she wandered a litlle bit to see if they were sleeping at their campsite. Okoye found their campsite but she couldn't find either of the two. She walked a little further from the camp when she heard voices coming from the edge of the cliff. It was only now that she realised the sun was starting to rise. When she approached the cliffs edge sure enough she found Ayo and Aneka sitting side by side watching the sunrise together. Okoye noticed that they were rather very close to each other. Okoye crouched in the tall grass for she was curious to see what their relathionship has evolved to in the past couple hours. She watched as they just sat there in silence for a moment, she watched as Aneka turned to Ayo and asked.

"Why were you willing to risk your life and the mission just to save me, Ayo?" Aneka asked. Ayo turned her head to Aneka making eye contact with her.

"Because I love you, Aneka." Ayo said in a sincere voice.

"Wait, really? You mean it?" Aneka asked.

Without saying anything Ayo slowly leaned forward, slowly getting closer to Aneka's face and Ayo slowly pressed a gentle kiss on Aneka's lips. Aneka put her hands on Ayo's cheeks and Ayo put her hands on Aneka's. It was a tender moment between the two of them and when they finally pulled back there hands were still holding the others. They seperated so fast when they suddenly heard someone clear their throat as Ayo looked to wear the direction was and she saw Okoye standing there with a knowing look. Ayo quickly stood up, Aneka stood up after her. Ayo looked down as Okoye approached the two of them, Ayo stepped in front of Aneka as Okoye reached the two of them and she said.

"General, whatever you decide to do, do not punish Aneka, I take full responsibility for any wrong doings." Ayo said to Okoye. Okoye smiled

"The only wrong doings you two have done was to take this long to finally kiss." Okoye said with a smile.

"Wait, so you're okay with me and Ayo being in a relationship?" Aneka asked behind Ayo.

"Child, the real reason that I partnered you up with Ayo on this mission was to make you two's relationship stronger, and I see that it worked." Okoye noticed Ayo interlocking her finger with Aneka's.

"Just don't take to long to get married." Okoye laughed and Aneka let out a chuckle but Ayo was seriously considering what Okoye had just said, she always imagined what it would be like to have Aneka as a wife, but her thoughts were cut off by Okoye.

"Come on lovebirds, let's go back home so that you two could spend some actual quality time together." Okoye said.

"But what about the poachers?" Aneka asked

"We left an anonymous tip to the rangers near by they should be here a few minutes from now so let's go." Okoye said

Ayo took Aneka's hand in hers and the two of them followed Okoye back to Wakanda hand in hand.

[forabeatofadrum]

February Friday Week 4

Summary: Frances brings her new boyfriend to Aled’s party.

Notes: And here it is, the last one. Thank you @februaryfridayevents for hosting, it was a lot of fun.

AO3

–

Minor Characters | Rarepair | Crossover

“I am nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Frances says, like a fool. That’s the one thing you shouldn’t say to someone is nervous.

Don’t be? Wow, now all my nerves are magically gone!

But in Frances defence, she’s nervous too and nervous people say foolish things. Aled is throwing a small party. He’s celebrating the success of Universe City and his latest birthday. Frances is bringing her new boyfriend along, which would’ve been slightly nerve wrecking in the first place, but her boyfriend happens to be Rowan Omondi.

Look, Frances didn’t know she had a famous boyfriend.

She met Rowan at an event and they hit it off. Both Frances and Rowan thought that the other was an attendee, not a performer. Their acts happened at the same time in different parts of the venue, so they didn’t find out that day.

It wasn’t until their third date that they found out. They’d foolishly gone to a public space and when paparazzi started chasing them, Rowan and Frances both said: “They’re after me! They’re after you?”

(In hindsight, it was obvious that they were after Rowan. The Ark is way more popular than Universe City and Frances is mostly known for her art and voice, not for her face, but at that moment she didn’t consider that they were after Rowan since she didn’t know Rowan was in a band!)

They keep their relationship low-key and out of the public eye, so when Aled extended the invitation to Rowan, they discussed it. Both fanbases don’t know about the relationship, but close friends do, even though they never actually met each other’s friends.

“Aled’s only invited people he’s close with!” Frances had said, “His boyfriend, his sister, his friends, some other YouTube people he’s befriended.”

“Big YouTubers?”

“Honestly, Aled wishes he could call Phil Lester a friend, but nope.”

“If you say so…”

“It’ll be fun, and his boyfriend plays bass too!”

“… Alright.”

“Do you want everyone to sign NDAs?”

Frances had joked, but Rowan did consider it for a brief moment, until he realised that that was a bit much. Frances knows Rowan has had bad experiences with fans, so she gets it. This means she was super proud of him when Rowan said he’d come along.

“I trust you, Frances.”

--

Frances and Carys arrive early at Aled and Dae-Sung’s flat to help with the decorations. Even though Carys shares a birthday with Aled, they’re not celebrating their birthday together.

“Too much work,” Carys reaffirms when she tapes balloons on the wall.

To be fair, Carys’s small get together was nice too.

“It’s could’ve been worse,” Dae-Sung hands a balloon to her, “It’s us, your new girlfriend, Frances’s new boyfriend, Raine, Aled’s friends from Truham, and some podcast people that I don’t really know.”

“They’re lovely, darling,” Aled comes in and he quickly kisses Dae-Sung’s cheek, “The only people I have yet to meet are Rowan and Carys’s mysterious new girlfriend. Frances, for full transparency, I did tell Charlie that Rowan is your boyfriend.”

“Oh?”

“He’s a huge fan of The Ark. I think it may be awkward for Rowan if Charlie starts fanboying when he sees him. Now he has time to prepare. No worries, he promised he’d only tell Nick.”

“You’re so smart,” Frances says with a wink.

“I know,” he winks back.

--

Rowan is a bit later. This was planned, since he had to be in the studio. Frances tells everyone that her boyfriend will be here.

“Did he go to school with us?” Sahar asks, referring to Truham, Higgs and the Academy.

“No, but he is originally from Kent. He went to St. Thomas in Rochester.”

“Can I give him the shovel talk?” Tao asks.

“Tao!” Elle pulls Tao’s beanie off his head.

“Don’t scare him off,” Tara says, not knowing how much those words hit. Frances gulps. Tao and Elle playfully bicker some more and Darcy turns to Frances.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet him,” Darcy says.

Frances takes a large sip of her drink. She really hopes this will go smoothly. She’s met all of Aled’s friends before so she knows they’re good people, but she is still nervous. Rowan has texted that he’s on his way. He’s travelling discreetly, so he might make some detours. Ah, the price of fame!

After half an hour or so, the doorbell rings.

“I’ll go!” both Carys and Frances yell. Carys’s girlfriend is also coming later. The two share a look and Carys shrugs, so they both go to the front door.

Rowan is standing in the hallway, but he looking away. He’s staring at the direction of the elevator.

“Bliss?” he says.

“Rowan?” Frances hears a woman’s voice.

“What- How- What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting my girlfriend’s brother!”

Frances pokes her head out of the door opening and a tough looking Asian woman walks towards Rowan with a bewildered look on her face. Rowan looks equally stunned.

“What are you doing here?” the woman, presumably Bliss, asks him.

“I told you and the guys that I was off to a party with my new girlfriend!”

“Hi,” Frances waves, “I am the girlfriend.”

“You guys know each other?” Carys asks.

Bliss stands in front of Rowan. The two exchange a long look before, to Frances’s surprise, they both burst out into laughter. Carys and Frances exchange a confused side-glare. Bliss and Rowan are still laughing uncontrollably and every now and then they utter some words between the wheezes. Frances can make out “you” “can’t believe it” “secrecy for nothing” “if we’d known” “incredibly”, but she’s none the wiser.

“Hello, two confused girlfriends are here,” Carys says.

“Also, maybe we should move this inside before anyone sees Rowan,” Frances suggests.

“Yeah,” Bliss says through her laughter, “Especially if they see him with me. The press would love that.”

“Don’t remind me,” Rowan drags a hand across his face.

Frances ushers everyone inside. She gives Rowan a quick kiss and Bliss and Carys also hold hands.

“Anyway,” Rowan says with an amused smile, “Bliss is my ex.”

“It’s true,” Bliss deadpans.

“Oh my God,” Frances mutters. Rowan has told her about his ex and how fans tore her apart. It’s one of the reason they don’t date in public. “What are the odds?”

The four of them laugh again before moving towards the living room. Rowan braces himself, but now he has two familiar faces at his side. Frances takes his hand.

“Ready?”

Rowan nods. Together they walk to the party.

[kagehinafromtheconcrete]

afterglow || ch 02: change

fic summary: Kageyama has learned a lot of things since befriending Hinata Shouyou. Things about Hinata, things about himself. How to open up. How to be vulnerable. How to love. And Hinata? Hinata learns more about Kageyama than he ever thought he would. Kagehina drabble collection ft. the rest of Karasuno, written for sarahenany. prompt: “yeah, about that...” ch summary: Hinata meets Kageyama Miwa, and a surprising conversation ensues.

Send me dialogue prompts in my ask box and I’ll credit you! Find on the whole collection on ao3. Or...

Hinata blinked as he gazed up at the person who answered Kageyama’s door. It definitely wasn’t Kageyama, but she looked way too young to be his mother. She met his eyes with an identical look of surprise before she widened the door a bit so she could lean on it.

Before she could get a word out, Hinata bowed and blurted, “Sorry for the intrusion! Is Kageyama home?”

She tilted her head. “Ah. Tobio?”

“Um, yes,” Hinata said, nodding. He’d never called Kageyama by his given name before. “We were, uh. We were supposed to study together today?”

She blinked this time, staring down at him with a now-contemplative expression. Then she stepped away from the door, gesturing for him to enter. “He’s in the bath right now. He’ll probably finish soon, though.”

Hinata walked in with another bow and toed out of his shoes. “Oh. Alright.”

“And you are…?”

“Hinata Shouyou,” Hinata told her, a little embarrassed about the fact that she towered over him. “I’m in Kageyama’s volleyball club. At Karasuno.”

“Mm.” She gave a brief nod of acknowledgment, much like Kageyama would. “...so you’re him, huh?”

“What?”

The girl—maybe in her early twenties—waved a hand dismissively as she shut the door and walked toward the kitchen in long, quick strides. “Kageyama Miwa. Tobio’s beloved older sister. You can call me Miwa, though.”

Hinata’s eyes widened a few centimeters. “Kageyama has a sister?”

“He didn’t tell you?” the girl—Miwa, his brain freshly supplied—asked. “Boo. I shouldn’t be surprised. But yeah.” She swept her hand languidly down the length of her body. “That would be me. The sister.”

Hinata took a moment to take in her appearance. Her curled, shoulder-length hair and her eyes were identical to Kageyama’s features in color, and they even had the same facial structure. They might’ve even been the same height, give or take an inch or two. He could definitely see the resemblance in looks. The only difference was the piercing on her left brow.

“Do you want a drink, Shouyou-kun?” Miwa asked him from the kitchen. "I can make tea."

But he definitely didn’t see the resemblance in personality. Miwa spoke so fluidly, so naturally—no insults, no constipated expression when she offered him something. She hadn’t even hesitated to use his given name.

“Um,” Hinata began, realizing she was awaiting a response. “Just water will be fine. Thank you, Ka—Miwa-san.”

“’Kay,” she said, and then added, “You can sit. The couch won’t bite you.”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been in Kageyama’s house before. Kageyama’s parents, however, worked constantly—probably as much as his own mother did—and he rarely saw them while he visited, much less Kageyama’s older sister.

They usually just went up to Kageyama’s room to study or watch volleyball matches on Kageyama’s father’s old laptop. Or they stayed outside and played volleyball.

It was stupid, but sitting in another room that wasn’t Kageyama’s pristinely well-kept bedroom was… it was weird. He supposed the opposite should’ve been true—someone’s bedroom was a private space, after all, and entering it should’ve felt more intimate than sitting on their couch in the front room.

But here Hinata was, walking awkwardly toward the sofa while Miwa approached him with a glass of water and a bottled sports drink presumably for herself.

“So, Shouyou-kun,” she began as she set the glass of water down in front of him. She sat down in the chair across from him with a grace that rivaled Kageyama’s genius sets. “...how did you manage to get my brother to actually study? I thought he gave up trying in middle school.”

Hinata reached for his drink. Now that it was in front of him, he realized just how thirsty he was—biking over here had taken over thirty minutes, after all. He took a big gulp before shrugging.

“I’m actually not that great at studying, either,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But we gotta keep our marks up if we want to participate in activities for volleyball. One of our managers—her name is Yachi—is actually super smart! She’s been helping us.”

“Mm.” She nodded after a sip of her own drink. “Volleyball is a big motivator for him.”

“Well, yeah. It’s fun and he’s amazing at it!”

“I haven’t seen him play in a while,” Miwa said, leaning back.

Hinata blinked again. It wasn’t like he’d seen her at any of their games—but then, Natsu didn’t come to any of their games, either. They always took place when she was at school or out of town with Okaa-san.

“You should watch us play sometime,” he said, without really thinking. “I mean… he is kind of a jerk when I mess up. And he likes to insult me. And he doesn’t let me forget the things I suck at. But nobody sets like him—I really think you should watch us play!”

Miwa actually laughed: a soft, gentle sound, so unlike anything that Kageyama would produce. “Sounds like my grumpy brother.” And then: “I really should.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

“What’s your team like?”

All lingering awkwardness faded away like flower petals in the wind as Hinata launched into a description of each of his team members: what they were like and what position they played. Miwa listened with mirthful patience, nodding along and chiming in, even as he told her about Karasuno’s managers, advisor, and coach.

“—do you play volleyball, Miwa-san?”

She shook her head. “Not anymore. I stopped playing a little bit before Jiji passed away.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Hinata deflated a little, expression pinching into something more somber. Sympathetic. “What do you do now?”

“I style hair, actually,” Miwa told him and took another sip of her drink. “Tobio’s probably still pissed at me. I moved out for college and I don’t think he’s forgiven me for traveling so far away.”

She said it with such ease, with an amused smile, that Hinata almost missed the melancholic undertone wedged beneath her words. Hinata opened his mouth to ask but she spoke before he had the chance.

“I’m surprised, really. That he’s softened a little.”

Kageyama? Soft? Whatever he was going to say earlier spidered away and Hinata couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. “Kageyama’s not soft. ”

“No, he’s not,” she agreed with a giggle. “But he’s… changed a lot.”

“Changed?”

“Yeah.” Something in her own expression shifted. Became nostalgic. Mellow. Like she was in the middle of recalling a fond memory. “When he was in elementary school and beginning middle school, Jiji was a huge inspiration for him. Got him into volleyball and taught him so much. I liked volleyball but Tobio… he surpassed me so quickly.”

Hinata listened, curious. She laughed again—another gentle sound so unlike her brother. If they didn’t look so similar, it would’ve been hard to tell they were related.

“It’s nice he found something to love so much,” Miwa went on with that same amused, yet strangely sad tone. “He was so good at it and passionate about it, I thought for sure he’d find friends, but I think that his talent alienated him more than anything. And then Jiji passed, and it was like a switch.”

The fond look on her face darkened into something mournful, so rapidly that it seemed to give Hinata whiplash. Izumin and Kouji always told him he could either sponge up people’s emotions or fail to read the room entirely: there was no in-between.

Now, looking at the subtle way her features twisted and the way it made him uneasy, Hinata wondered if he played the role of the sponge.

“Tobio got so angry, all the time,” Miwa said. “I don’t even think I saw him smile, after that. He just always wanted to be alone. I don’t think Tou-san or Kaa-san really realized how bad it was, and I was going away to college…”

She trailed off. Took a sip of her sports drink. Leaned back in her chair before looking back up at Hinata with a smile.

“Seems things are different, now.” The way Miwa’s eyes sparkled made Hinata’s tongue shrivel in his throat. “I visited two months ago, and… and I asked him about volleyball, and he wouldn’t shut up about this Hinata person.”

Heat ascended Hinata’s neck, reaching his cheeks. The warmth, then, spread into all different directions, filling all the cavities in his chest, branching out to his shoulders and arms until it reached his fingertips.

“He talks about me?” Hinata wondered aloud before he could stop himself.

And then came the inevitable anxiety. What kinds of things did Kageyama say? Was it bad? Maybe it was rude to assume that right away, but what he’d said earlier was true—Kageyama always let him know where he was lacking, and when needed improvement. He didn’t have trouble telling other people that, too.

“Oh yeah,” Miwa answered, oblivious to his inner turmoil. “I’ve never seen him talk so much—and so animatedly, too.”

That didn’t exactly soothe his anxiety. Hinata bounced his leg just for the sake of movement—a way to expel it. “Oh?”

She looked at him, then, and his nervousness must have been written all over his face because she said, “Don’t look so scared. He thinks very highly of you.”

“Highly?” Hinata echoed. “He thinks I’m an idiot.”

She dropped her voice down to a whisper: “He’s jealous of you.”

Doubt seeped into him immediately, until he remembered that Kageyama had actually admitted it during their first game on the same side of the net. For all his insults and mockery, the truth was that Kageyama wanted something Hinata had but he didn’t.

“Jealous,” he repeated in disbelief, blinking as the word fully registered in his brain, “...of me.”

Maybe it was stupid that he just kept repeating everything she said, but it was hard to believe that Kageyama had really said all these things.

“And it’s not only that, Shouyou-kun.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think it’s your influence on him that’s caused him to change.”

Hinata blinked. And blinked again. The words floated around in the air but he couldn’t quite absorb them.

“I think,” she repeated, pausing only to finish off her sports drink, “that you’ve taught him a lot, even if you don’t think so, Shouyou-kun. I’m sure Jiji would be very happy.”

“What about Ojii-san?”

The new, yet familiar voice startled Hinata enough that he jumped. Miwa had told him Kageyama would be out soon—yet he’d been so immersed in the conversation that he’d forgotten. He whirled around to see Kageyama with a towel around his shoulders and a frown on his face.

“You’re early,” Kageyama said before Hinata could speak.

“Yeah… about that…” Hinata scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I got bored.”

Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.”

“It’s true!”

“Well, whatever. Come on—we should get started.”

Miwa laughed, startling the both of them with the sound. When they both looked at her in confusion, she waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t mind me. Go have fun with Shouyou-kun, Tobio.”

Kageyama scowled. “We’re studying, Nee-san. That’s not fun at all.”

“But you’ve got a friend with you, so that helps, no?”

“Whatever,” Kageyama repeated with a huff, grumpy as ever.

A strange sparkle glistened in Miwa's eyes that Hinata didn’t quite understand. He cocked his head, silently asking, but her only answer was a wink and a secretive smile.

I think it’s your influence on him that’s caused him to change, she had said.

Warmth flooded through him again, unexpected but lovely and welcoming nonetheless, and Hinata grinned back at her.

[jokertrap-ran]

[Hell’s Festival] 4★ Seras (Normal) Translation

第3話 秘めた悲しみ Chapter 3: Hidden Sadness

"We both watched the performance on stage weaved by puppets alike…”

CV: 小山 力也 (Koyama Rikiya)

*Yume100 Masterlist | Hell’s Festival Event Story *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Name will remain as my normal ( ラン ) *Thank you to Pimmy_yone for providing the moon route choices so that I could make his translation complete~ ♪(´▽｀)

Chapter 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 Sun 1 / 2 / SS Moon 1 / 2 / SS

Stringed puppets dance upon the candle-lit stage…

It was about a boy who’d lost someone important to him.

Boy Doll: It doesn’t matter how important someone is; you’ll still end up losing them someday.

(It’s a sad story…)

Feeling a little of the boy’s helplessness from his words, I look to the side…

Seras: ……

(Seras…?)

The lonely look I spotted on him as he quietly observed the stage left a lingering twinge in my chest.

Seras: Hm? What’s wrong?

Noticing my gaze, he slightly tilts his head in my direction.

Ran: Oh, it’s nothing much… I just thought that it was a pretty sad story.

Seras: It is.

Seras: This is a Country which often deals with death, so there are many stories akin to this.

(Right, this place’s…)

Necropolia was said to be the place where victims of a long-fought war of the past were mourned that eventually became a small Country.

Hearing his explanation, my gaze returned to the story unfolding on stage.

(Dealing with death…) (This puppet show might be someone else’s life experience once upon a time…)

Seras gently placed his large hand atop my head when I looked down at my faintly tightening chest.

Seras: But, stories like these aren’t just to invoke sadness.

Seras: It’s also intended to soothe the people’s sorrows by making it into a story, widely told to others.

Seras: That’s just how it is, so… don’t go makin’ that face, alright?

I could feel his concern as he slowly and gently stroked my hair. It made warmth bloom in my heart.

━━━━━━━∘◦ ✰ ◦∘━━━━━━━

❖ Choice MOON: Nod back (頷き返す)

(The weight on my chest feels much lighter now…)

I nodded back at him, and his smile finally reached his eyes.

Seras: Still… You’re a really nice girl.

❖ Choice SUN: Thank him (お礼を言う)

Ran: Thank you, Seras.

Seras: Not at all. It’s nothin’ to thank me for.

The puppet show continues, and an owl pays the sad little boy a visit.

The boy befriends the owl and his sorrow is gradually soothed away…

Finally, the story ends with him regaining his former smile, warm and happy.

(It’s a sad but wonderful story…)

I clapped along with him as the puppets on stage gave a cute parting bow.

Seras: What a well-made play.

Ran: It is. I’m glad he managed to regain his smile.

Seras: Yours too.

(Seras…)

Seeing his relaxed smile, the image of the dark look he had on his face earlier flashed through my mind…

❖ Choice MOON: Hesitate (聞くことをためらう)

(I want to know more, but it’s a little hard for me to ask him directly about it…)

I closed my mouth, swallowing the question that had been right on the tip of my tongue. Then, Seras tilted his head in my direction.

Seras: What? Were you just about to ask me somethin’?

Ran: …I’m sorry if this comes off as weird. I was just a little worried about the face you were making while watching the puppet show…

Seras: !

❖ Choice SUN: Ask him what’s wrong (どうしたのか聞く)

Ran: Um… Are you okay?

Seras: Huh? Me? Why do you ask?

Ran: You looked rather sad during the performance…

Seras: ……

Seras' eyes widened a fraction at my unexpected words.

━━━━━━━∘◦ ✰ ◦∘━━━━━━━

After a brief moment of hesitation, Seras tapped his cheek in thought, albeit slightly troubled.

Seras: Was I making a face like that…?

Ran: It might just be me, but…

Seras: …No, I’m sure it’s just you overthinkin’ things.

Seras: That won’t do. It looks like I’m losin’ my composure in front of you, Princessa.

The smile he pulled to dissuade me was betrayed by the way his brows drooped.

(Seras?)

He let out a small sigh that gently brushed at my fringe.

Seras: You’re really sharp.

Seras: Thanks to that, my poor attempt at hiding it was all for nought, for you have such beautiful and keen eyes…

Seras turned his gaze up towards the air, seemingly trying to rid himself of the slight hesitation he felt.

Seras: That puppet show just reminded me of the past…

I waited in silence as he prepared to spill his heart…

To be continued…

[dreamrecorder]

The words we keep

Soulmate au - first words tattoed on the wrist

Includes: Venti | Diluc | Kaeya | Albedo | Zhongli | Xiao | Childe

Mentions of suicide in Zhongli; angst and brief violence for Childe

Oh you're here- I mean! I'm sorry I didn't mean to take your spot!

The bard had guessed that he'd meet his soulmate either in Angel's Share, in Windrise, or at the hands of his statue in Mondstadt. But the latter two were more unlikely. But he doesn't mind sharing his space with you really. In fact, Venti would be more than willing to let you in his space. But lo and behold! He didn't think he'd meet you at the hands of his statue!

Nights prior, you always heard a voice singing songs of various emotions. The voice eventually led you to Barbatos's statue. When you looked up, you saw the bard in green. His voice was very calming and pleasant to hear, so you always visited the statue at night. Until recently, your curiosity grew. Why does the bard always stay there at night?

Seeing your relaxed form on his statue, hair swaying in the wind. Venti just went soft. "Quite the lovely view isn't it?" 

He didn't mean to surprise but you still did become surprised. He found it endearing. "Oh you're here- I mean! I'm sorry I didn't mean to take your spot!"

Ah- you scared them. Please don't do that.

Now who did he scare and what did he do to warrant his soulmate's first words to him? Diluc has always been aware that he can be intimidating and usually he doesn't mind that. But for you- he does give half a mind.

There was a new winemaker that Connor had hired and Diluc has yet to meet them. Connor had even commented that their methods were a bit unusual. But if it's enough to get the former's approval, then Diluc will see to this newcomer.

Diluc met you during the night, just at the edges of the Stone Gate that signifies the border between Mondtsadt and Liyue. The man was simply patrolling around the area for any hidden dangers. That's when he saw you, kneeling on the ground with a group of slimes surrounding you. Seeing your plight, Diliuc quickly ran and summoned his greatsword. With a few swipes imbued with pyro, the slimes hastily retreated. He was about to chase them off, but he was more concerned of your safety.

Diluc was about to speak when you cut him off as you stood up, dusting your clothes. "Ah- you scared them. Please don't do that."

Diluc was dumbstruck for a second. He did not expect to meet his soulmate right here right now. Seeing his stupefied look, you raised a brow. "Are… you alright, Sir Diluc?"

"Those slimes were about to attack you." Diluc pointed out. His reply made you chuckle a bit and shake your head to the sides. Did he say anything funny?

"No they were not. I was trying to befriend them so that I could use their slime concentrations for the winery."

Now Diluc was even more confused. Slime? For tbe winery? "Wait- you're the new-"

"Winemaker. And your soulmate if you're not yet aware. Come on, let's go look for those slimes! We can talk on the way about our… professional and not-so professional side of our relationship." And with that, you trailed to the path of the slimes with a smile on your face. As for the wine tycoon, he was still confused- like a lost puppy, but there was this gentle smile that landed on his lips as he followed you.

Yes, I am suffering and in need of a Pyro Vision. Soulmate or not, if you don't have a Pyro Vision- shoo.

The text tattooed on Kaeya's wrist always left him laughing. He just knows, that this was meant to be a comical moment. He can even imagine the moment he meets his soulmate just from these words alone. But of course, he does worry about your well-being. Kaeya had his guesses. Maybe he would meet you in Dragonspine or maybe- you were an unprepared tourist enduring the permafrost of Snezhnaya and he'd meet you there. Well- in the end, he's still amused at your winterish pain.

Sure enough, Kaeya was tasked to scout Dragonspine for any Fatui activity. He could feel it under his skin that he'll meet you any second now. As he traversed through the mountain path, he noticed a group of warming seelies hovering over… someone? And that someone is shivering immensely. The captain grinned.

You heard footsteps approaching but you stayed in your crouched position, determined to preserve your body temperature. The seelies were helping, sure, but they were not enough to counter the coldness your Cryo Vision emanates. Damn it. Just because you're a cryo user doesn't mean you're immune to sheer cold.

The footsteps stopped and you snorted at the words the stranger spoke, "Could this possibly be my soulmate suffering in the cold and in need of a Pyro Vision?"

You huffed, you didn't want to meet your soulmate in this kind of situation. But it happened anyway, much to your dismay. Still crouched, you managed to turn to face the man as seelies continued hovering around.

"Yes, I am suffering and in need of a Pyro Vision. Soulmate or not, if you don't have a Pyro Vision- shoo."

Now actually hearing it from you made Kaeya laugh hard. If he was already amused just from the ink on his wrist before, Kaeya's now even more so deeply amused. You muttered sadist on his way. Deciding he's had enough a good laugh for today, the captain gave you his fur coat and a warming bottle. "Come on, let's get you some place warm, yes?"

You're not the only one! I actually did one for you, too!

When his mind is not occupied by hus studies, it would often drift ink embedded on his wrist. Everytime Albedo does so, he would often wonder what did the two of make for each other that would lead to you eventual meeting.

The Windblume Festival arrived, and of course, so will tourists from other lands. Usually, Albedo would simply pay no heed to the ongoing festivities and their participants. But this time- things were different. You unknowingly caught the alchemist's eye. There was this sudden itch in his hands- and Albedo knew he had to sketch you form. However, before he could even approach you- you left to another direction.

He caught sight of you again the next day. You were reading a book on a bench, with the plaza fountain giving you a beautiful background for Albedo. Discreetly, the alchemist sat on a bench front of yours and began sketching. Unbeknownst by him, you were also entranced by his form and you, too, began sketching.

Albedo was first to finish- and like usual, he would give the sketch to the person he drew of even if they were strangers. As he walked, there was this certain nervousness that found way in his stomach. This never happened before. Why was he nervous?

Once close enough, Albedo cleared his throat and handed you his sketch, "I know this seems suspicious, but I want you to have this. You have a wonderful form."

You'd be lying if you said your heart did not stop a beat at his words. When you saw the paper he was offering you, you gasped at how he caught every detail of you. Bashful, you tore the page you were drawing on from sketchbook and gave it to him.

"You're not the only one! I actually did one for you, too!"

When your words reached his ears, Archons bless you as he gave you a genuine and joyful smile.

Please... don't touch my heart that wants to disappear.

When Zhongli fully embraced his mortal form, he didn't expect the universe to gift him a soulmate. Like a snake, ink slithered into words that gave his heart a certain sadness. Zhongli knew, you were suffering somewhere... Out there...

He saw you first at the highest peak of Guyun Stone Forest. Everything happened so quickly. One second he was watching your distant form from the beaches below then the next he knew- his heart dropped, the same way you willingly fell to the hands of death that waited in the sea. The archon did what he knew is right- and that is saving you.

To Zhongli, immoratlity can both be a blessing and a curse. When your skins touched, he knew you were of immortality. He could sense it. And he could also sense the tiredness that nest in your soul from the burden of immortality.

Once Zhongli landed on safe ground, that's when he spoke. "I won't ask why, however is this truly what you want?"

The way his words reflected the ink written on your wrist made you open your eyes wide. When the realization sank in- that this man is your soulmate, you began crying. You were tired of life- but this man- this man is now your lock away from your want for death. If you stayed with him- another cycle of seeing the people you love come and go.

"Please..." you begged, "don't touch my heart that wants to disappear..."

Your voice was sad and pleading- but Zhongli was a stubborn man, just like his element. He wanted to help you but not by giving your death. He wanted you to see life in a new light, hopefully with him by your side.

Excuse me... Here- for you. Qingxin.

Xiao was always resolute in his resolve that he has no need of a soulmate deemed by the universe. However, there are times that he would let his mind flutter around the concept. Specifically, around the words elegantly written on his wrist and his soulmate. Xiao would question why would you give him qingxin flowers in the first place. Other than that, there was also this underlying worry in his thoughts about you and the qingxin flowers. These flowers... they can only be gathered on high stone peaks. What if you slipped and fall?

This leads Xiao to have days where he just spends his time at the peaks of Jueyun Karst, looking out for any foolish person scale mountains just for qingxin. It's not because he's worried about you no- Xiao just doesn't want anyone die under his protection over Liyue. There has already been too much deat-

"Excuse me..."

At the voice, Xiao's head whipped to your direction with eyes wide in surprise.

"Here- for you. Qingxin."

There was this bored look in your face, but Xiao could see the worry in your eyes. Worry? Were you worried about him? Xiao frowned at the thought but still took the flowers from your outstretched hand.

"Foolish mortal... you could have gotten yourself hurt. Climbing peaks just for qingxin..."

... But still a small smile graced his lips and your heart melted.

"Thank you."

You're the only person I recognize whose eyes resemble the deep blue ocean.

The words tattooed on his wrist always left Childe questioning about his soulmate and what led them saying these words. Somehow- imagining the possible scenarios always makes him melt. This string of words- it never fails him to bring a sense of comfort in his heart. Childe learns of yoir existance during a mission.

The mission was to assasinate a captain of the Knights- you. He observed you for days and took note how you're silent and alone for the most part but kind to the people who approach you- he almost feels bad for having to kill you. The day came when he had to kill you. It was supposed to be a quick kill- but he should know better. You were a captain for a reason, so you fought back. However, in the end, Childe was stronger as he wrap his hands around your fragile neck. Another second, he'd have you dead- until a child's voice cut through- your little brother. The way your eyes watered up at the sight of your only family. Seeing the hurt in your eyes, Childe's thoughts went overdrive- No- nonononono way I'm killing in front of a kid- He simply can't- he was reminded of his little brother, too. With a wavering will to disobey orders, Childe let you go and retreated to the night,

"Don't think this is the last time you'll see me."

Like a shattering glass- the words he uttered made your heart shatter like glass...

Childe saw you again, this time in Liyue. When your gazes meet- there was a shock that passed through with tension suddenly gripping your necks. Childe swore he hid much of his identity physically that night- but he knew you recognized him. He managed to corner you in Yuehai Pavillion by swooping into an empty seat right in front of you. There was a tense moment and an oppresive air. He noticed how your hands were ready to grab your weapon. "How did you recognize me?"

You carefully thought of your words. And when you did reply, Childe have never felt so much despair until today. "You're the only person I recognize whose eyes resemble the deep blue ocean."

Back before he knew you- these words always comforted Childe- but now? Childe felt chills in his spine as despair clouded his mind. Why would the universe decide to have person he was supposed to kill his soulmate.

Similarly, his heart also shattered.

A/N: Look!!! I got meself some banners ksks---- this is all Childe's fault rawr

[jungwonenthusiast]

hi ! enhypen smut prompt request ! can i have the reader whos a female say #4 with jake or sunghoon whos a hard dom ?? if u can , can u add how the reader and the partner are enemies who got lots of sexual tension so they kinda trease e/o a lot with words and actions ? u dont have to use that plot but thank u♡

A/N: This is one of my favorite works now lol i hope u like it :) <3

Warnings: unprotected sex, rly brief oral (f recieving), degredation

Word Count: 2.9 k

“But it’s a Tuesday,” you tell Jay while zipping up your backpack.

“So?” he says. “Don’t be lame.”

“I’m not lame, just responsible.” you sing your bag over your shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s lame.” he walks with you to the lunch tables. Jungwon and Heeseung are already there chatting it up.

“You guys are coming right?” Jay asks them and they nod. “See? You gotta come.”

“It’ll be fun noona,” Jungwon says. “And you have to come because Heeseung hyung and Jay hyung are probably gonna leave me for girls.” he rests his head on your shoulder for a moment.

“Why don’t you get yourself some girls too.” you suggest and he shakes his head.

“I’m too shy.” he says quietly and you giggle.

“Alright fine, I’ll go.” you finally say and they all celebrate. “Jake’s not gonna be there right?”

“Uhm,” Heeseung looks over to Jake’s lunch table nervously. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” you cock an eyebrow.

“He won’t be there,” Jay says. “It’ll be fine.”

You feel someone bump into your shoulder as you walk to history.

“What the hell?” you say and turn around to see who the culprit is. Of course it’s Jake. He shrugs with a half smile. That fucking ass.

After a few more classes you head home and start preparing for the bonfire party. It’s at a beach so you decide to wear your favorite bikini under your shirt and shorts. Your phone begins to buzz and it's a facetime call from Jungwon.

“Hola~” you greet him.

“Hi~” he says. “Can you take me there? My parents are at work.”

“Sure.” you say while putting all of your essentials into a purse.

“Also,” he hesitates. “I think Jake hyung is gonna be there.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I heard him talking about it during p.e.” he says quietly and you groan.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna go anymore.” you say.

“No you have to go, I will die without you.” Jungwon pleads. “It’ll be fun, we'll just stay away from him.”

“It’s gonna be hard to stay away from that giant ego taking up the whole place.” you roll your eyes.

“He’s not that bad noona, he’s actually pretty nice.” Jungwon shrugs.

“Don’t betray me like that,” you scold him. “You’re on my team alright?”

“Okay okay.” he surrenders, giggling.

You pick Jungwon up and give him the aux for the 30 minute drive to the beach.

You guys groove to SZA together.

Jungwon rolls down the window while you're on the highway and sticks his head out like a dog. He kind of is like a dog (in a good way). He’d be a shiba inu.

“Whoooo!!” he screams as the wind whips through his hair, you smile.

When you get there you park your car and get the beach towels from the backseat.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” you as Jungwon and he shakes his head. “Why do you never listen to me?”

You get a bottle of sunscreen out of your purse and rub a dollop on his face. He scrunches his nose.

“It feels like you're rubbing cake batter on me.” he complains.

“You’ll thank me when you’re fifty and you aren’t a wrinkly wreck.” you tell him while spreading it over his cheeks.

“Can we be done now?” he whines and you sigh.

“Fine.”

You two approach the crowd of people suntanning, drinking, playing volleyball, and playing in the ocean.

You drop your stuff next to Heeseung’s and Jay’s before looking around for them. They’re playing volleyball with who on the opposing team? Jake Sim.

Jungwon must’ve noticed you shooting lasers through your eyes because he grabs your arm. “Come on, let’s go swim.” he tugs his t-shirt over his head and jogs over to the water.

You follow suit, only feeling a little self conscious about stripping with Jake Sim only so far away. But it’s only because you don’t want to be vulnerable in front of your worst enemy, right?

Jungwon’s already relaxing among the waves when you get to the shore. “Why’d you go so deep?” you call out to him.

“It’s not that deep,” he says back.

You swim around with him for a bit before forcing him to look for pretty shells with you.

He gasps. “Baby crab!” he rushes to pick it up. “Look.” he holds it up to you.

You try to pet it without freaking it out. “What if it bites you?”

“It won’t, we’re friends.”

The sun is nearly gone by the time you’re done shell searching and swimming so you head over to the bonfire. You wrap a towel around yourself and snuggle up to Jay. He scrunches his nose.

“It’s cold,” you defend yourself.

Heeseung hands you a white claw and you crack it open.

“What are we doing now?” you ask but you can’t hear Heeseung’s answer over the sight of Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki sitting right across from you. You notice how the bonfire highlights the muscles in Jake’s chest and arms. The warm orange light washing over him makes it look like he’s glowing. Is this what Apollo would’ve looked like? “Huh?” you ask Hee.

“We’re probably just gonna play dumb highschool games.” he says.

You inhale and take a big swig of your seltzer.

“Truth or dare time~” Bree sing songs. “Sunoo truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Sunoo answers.

“Do you have a crush on anyone and if so, who?” she asks and he rolls his eyes.

“I have a crush on myself.” he says confidently.

“Fair enough, you go now.” she says to him.

“Heeseung hyung, truth or dare?” Sunoo asks.

“Dare,” he replies and Sunoo giggles.

“Give your phone to Jay and let him text anyone anything he wants.”

Heeseung groans and throws his head back. “Oh God.”

Jay cackles an evil laugh. “Gimme.”

Heeseung reluctantly hands Jay his phone. “You’re gonna text Sophie aren’t you.”

Sophie Morales, Heeseung ex. They broke up only a month ago after half a year of dating. This was about to be brutal.

“You know me so well.” Jay smiles.

“Please don’t say anything too horrible.” Heeseung pleads.

“Sophie,” Jay narrates his text message. “I miss you and your huge tits. Also I’m sorry for not telling you while we were dating but your feet are really fucking ugly.”

Heeseung buries his head into his hands, laughing. “Fucking Christ.”

“And your breath stinks,” Jay continues. “At least your boobs are nice.”

This is what I get for befriending males. You think to yourself.

“Alright that’s enough.” Heeseung snatches his phone away while everyone giggles. “My turn since I was the victim. y/n, truth or dare?” “Truth,”

“What’s your biggest regret?”

“Becoming friends with Jay, because he’s insane.”

Jay guffaws. “I’ve been nothing but good to you.”

You roll your eyes.

The game goes on for a bit until it lands on Jungwon.

“Noona, truth or dare?”

You’d usually go for truth, but you didn’t want people to think you were boring. “Dare.”

“I dare you and Jake hyung to talk to each other in private for at least five minutes.” he says, crossing his arms.

Your eyes widen and you look over at Jake, he looks like he wants to drown himself.

“What? Why?” you ask urgently.

“Because I’m tired of you guys hating each other for no reason. Now go.” Jungwon shoos you away.

“Yeah go talk.” Niki says to Jake.

Both of you don’t budge. Jay tugs at your arm. “Come on, Jake and y/n becoming friends!”

The whole group starts chanting. “JAKE AND Y/N BECOMING FRIENDS!”

You had to admit that their enthusiasm was kind of endearing, so you swallow your pride and walk over to the lifeguard tower. You hear him not far behind you.

You climb up the stairs and let your feet hang over the ledge of the patio.

He sits down next to you.

You let a few moments of silence pass before speaking up. “I don’t want to be here as much as you do, so let’s just wait for the five minutes to pass and then go.”

“Damn,” he says. “Do you really hate me that much?”

You roll your eyes. “What do you think?”

“What did I ever do to you?” he scoffs.

“I don’t need to justify my feelings.” you cross your arms.

“Why are you so dense?” he grumbles.

You whip your body over to him. “I’m the dense one?”

“Yeah,” he says proudly. You want to slap the smug look off of his pretty face. Normal face. Slightly, almost, barely good looking face.

“Such a prick,” you mumble, turning away.

“What’d you call me?” he scrunches his eyebrows.

You look him right in the eyes. You never noticed how dark and piercing they were. “A fucking prick. Cause you are one.”

His black hair is still damp and poking into his eyes. His lips are parted and they look so soft that you almost want to kiss him. But he beats you to it.

I should push him away. Push him away you dumbass. You kept telling yourself but you couldn’t do it. His lips felt too good against yours.

Your arms snake around his waist as he lays you onto your back.

You wish you had a hundred hands so you could touch all of him. Two weren’t enough. He feels like silk and he tastes like red velvet.

He pushes your jaw up so he can get to your neck. You exhale as his tongue dances on your skin. He grinds his hips into yours and you let out a small moan. Why are you letting him affect you like this? Idiot.

“I thought you hated me?” he smirks while kissing your chest.

“I do.” you breathe out.

“You sure?” he asks, his fingers traveling down your stomach and into your bikini bottoms.

“Mhm.” you say.

He kisses your collarbone. “People you hate don’t make you wet like this.”

That just makes you throb even more.

“Fuck off,” you say and he backs up.

“Really?” he says. “Because I will.”

You roll your eyes and pull him in by the back of the neck.

“Touch me,” you say and he happily obliges. You knew were in public but it was dark and honestly, you didn’t care.

“Such a slut,” he says while running a finger up and down your slit. “If you wanted me this badly you should’ve said so sooner.”

“I don’t want you asshole.” you breathe out as he circles your clit.

“You just asked me to touch you princess,” he kisses your neck. “I think that’s good evidence.”

You rub your fingers through the back of his hair and tug it back, exposing his neck. He lets out a small moan. You kiss his neck, sucking and nibbling every now and then. When you pull away there’s at least three red blotches that go from his throat to his chest.

“People are gonna see those you know?” he says.

“Whatever.” you roll your eyes.

“Are you marking me or something? Telling everyone that I’m yours?” he boasts.

It’s confusing how your anger is feeding into your lust for him.

“Shut up and fuck me.” you say and he cocks a brow.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” he kisses your cheek sweetly. You want to wipe it off and slap him in the face.

“Who do you think you are?” you scoff at him.

“Come on dont play with me,” he pushes one finger into you and you moan. “I can tell that you want it.”

It was true. You were practically gushing.

“More,” you say, wanting another finger.

“Where are your manners?” he smirks.

You swallow your pride. “Please?”

“Good girl,” he says and it sends tingles down your spine.

He pulls your bikini bottoms to the side and rubs his thumb up your slit. “Such a pretty cunt.”

Your thighs are already trembling.

“I really thought you’d still be hating me right now.” he says lowly. “Do I make you that weak?”

You snap to your senses for a moment. “Fuck you.”

“I am.” he snickers and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me attitude princess.” he warns you with a dangerous smile.

“Or what?” you test him.

“Do you really wanna find out?”

“What do you think you’re intimidating or something?” you ask and he scoffs.

He sits up and grabs your arm. “Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up.” he says sternly and you do.

He grabs your hand, leading you somewhere.

“Where are we going?” you ask, agitated. If you really didn’t want to go you wouldn’t, but you secretly wanted to continue what was going on.

“My car.”

“What? Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“Hey! Where are you going?” Jungwon calls out. “Don’t leave me!” “I’ll be just a second!” you reply with an unsure smile.

“Backseat.” Jake says as you approach his Mercedes.

So bossy, you think.

You sit in the back seat and before you know it he’s pulling you into his lap.

“Let’s continue shall we?” he says and you don’t waste any time getting your lips on his.

He pushes your hips down onto his and you whimper. You were already so wet and this was just making it worse.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer.” you say, not being able to hold it in.

“For what?” he nips at your neck.

“I need to feel you inside of me.” you plead. 

“That’s better.” he tugs his shorts down and pulls your swimsuit to the side.

You grab the base of him before slowly sinking down. “Fuck yes.” you moan in relief.

He fills you up perfectly and his tip brushes your g-spot every time you bounce.

“So fucking tight.” he growls, holding onto your hips tight.

Your legs begin to tremble from the pleasure so he grabs you by the waist and lays you on your back.

He snaps his hips into yours and you whine.

He smirks. “Look at you all spread out for me,” he kisses your neck. “Taking this cock deep inside you.”

Your fingers trail down to rub at your clit. “Please don’t stop.”

He flips you over into doggy and tugs your hair, bringing your ear up to his mouth.

“Tell me how bad you want it.”

“Really bad,” you whimper.

He smacks your ass and you let out a small squeal.

“Touch with yourself while I fuck you.” he lets you go and you rest on the door. Your fingers move to play with your pussy.

His hands are tight on your waist as he pounds into you.

You feel your knees start to give out and your cunt start to pulse around him.

He chuckles. “Are you close sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” you exhale. “Please make me cum, please I need it so bad.”

“Why should I think you deserve it?”

“Please, I can’t hold it any longer.” you say and he stops his movements completely.

He gets close to your ear. “You get to cum when I say so okay?”

You accept defeat. “Okay.”

You start to get more and more flustered as he continues to fuck you just right.

“Fuck Jake I can’t,” you whimper and hold onto the car door for dear life.

He pulls out suddenly and you complain before feeling his tongue on you. Your body tenses up from the pleasure.

“You taste so fucking good,” he says and you arch your back, pushing your pussy into his mouth. He moans against you.

After only a couple circles on your clit with his tongue, you’re ready to come undone. You grab onto his hand.

“Wait wait I’m close,”

And before you can utter another word he slams his cock into you and brings his hand around you to rub your clit.

“Cum on this cock sweetheart, I know you can do it.” he encourages you.

He smiles as your moans get louder and more high pitched.

Your legs start to shake and he grabs you tight. He comes up to your ear. “Be a good girl for me won’t you.”

Your eyes roll back as bliss runs through your entire body. He was probably the best lay you’ve ever had.

Your body goes slack as he cums inside of you.

“Fuck,” he growls and slowly pulls out. He picks you up and holds you in his arms as you try to ride out the trembling.

“How am I supposed to clean up?” you ask.

“Maybe you can swim again?” he jokes and you punch him in the arm. “Do you still hate me?”

“One hundred percent.” you say confidently.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffs. “My kids are in you right now.”

You fake gag and he laughs.

[myherowritings]

PART 4. HOW THE RICH SUCK THEIR OWN DICKS

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.9k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. enji makes an appearance bleh, enji being classist, enji...ew, okay i swear most of the chapter is shouto and y/n being cute though 

A/N. ngl i have genshin brainrot real bad at the moment but i still have motivation for ceo!shouto and ceo!shouto only u.u there are only 7 parts to this series so we’re at the halfway mark already AHHH i hope u enjoy reading and lmk what u think!! :3 xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

Shouto’s day went from good to bad faster than it took to pull an espresso. 

It started off with a good morning text from you and having a brief, but pleasant, interaction at your work. Actually, the past few weeks have been going along a similar routine that he found himself settling into all too comfortably. You even upheld your promise of stealing him away one weekend to walk around the park, get food, and just have time to relax and be happy for once. 

Getting to be in your presence almost daily became so normalized in his life that even some of his employees heard about the cute barista with the best pastries. Yet, although he saw you often, he found himself wanting to talk to you more and more.

But for now, Shouto told himself to settle with starting the mornings off with you. They were the best mornings he’s had in a while and he didn’t want to sound ungrateful. 

Today, however, went sour fast after he heard his father was coming up to the top floor for a meeting with him. He didn’t find the idea of Enji visiting to be the most abhorrent thing, but the moment his father opened his mouth, Shouto quickly took that back. 

As expected, his father reminded him about the annual charity gala Todoroki Enterprises was expected to attend. Handfuls of galas ran through the year, but the once hosted by Naruhata Industries under the guise of raising money and awareness for the charities of choice.

In theory, a charity gala ball sounded humanitarian and a way for the upper class to give back, but in reality, most of the funds collected didn’t go to the actual charities, instead they went to paying for the venue, live bands, entertainment, the most expensive catering, decorations, and more. What presented itself as a charitable event in the eyes of the public was really a way rich people could flaunt their wealth and feel good about themselves for doing absolutely nothing to benefit society. A way for the rich to suck their own dicks, if you would. 

Shouto absolutely hated it. 

It was also a press opportunity and, in his father’s eyes, a way to gain public favor for the Todoroki business. Today, Enji attempted to tell him that bringing a date that fit the mold of high society was the best way for him to establish rapport through media coverage. Apparently, the image news outlets have placed on Shouto were either a heartbreaker and playboy with no care for other’s emotions, or a monotonous stoic who seemed like a robot with no care for other’s emotions.

In either cases, there seemed to be a theme of Shouto not caring for others. 

He sighed. 

“You can’t keep that image, Shouto,” said Enji with his arms folded across his chest. “If the media sees you with someone—a nice girl with a good upbringing—then your likeability will increase tenfold. If there’s no one you like, I’ll have to set up a date for you.”

For a while, he was torn between telling his dad to fuck off and trying to do as he said to keep peace within the family. But then, an image of you popped into his head.

“Actually, there is someone I like.” 

Enji narrowed his eyes. “Oh? An educated girl with wealthy parents?”

“There’s someone I like,” he simply repeated, the tone in his voice growing cold. 

He didn’t know anything about your upbringing or family nor did he exactly care. Shouto didn’t want to bring a date to the dumb gala, but if he had to, he would want it to be you. Only if you agreed, of course. But if you weren’t willing, then he had to face the facts that his father would most likely force a date of his own choosing upon Shouto. 

“That’s good you like someone, son,” Enji said through his teeth, “but we have to make sure it’s not some sort of...loose woman. That’d be even worse publicity—”

“I like someone and if you really cared about my happiness like you said you did, that’d be enough.”

There was a tense silence in the air. Shouto didn’t have enough fingers to count the number of times Enji had told him and his siblings that he would try to be a better dad. A caring dad who only wanted what was best for his children. A better husband for Rei. A better example for the public. The first few times, Shouto believed it. But Enji said the same things over and over again with no lasting change and Shouto was just fed up. 

After hearing the same lie told to him over and over again, it seemed to lose its weight. He seemed to lose his hope in his father ever changing.

Still, Shouto had to deal with him for as long as he lived. That much he knew as a son living in this society. 

But he hoped Enji at least had enough guilt to let him have this.

“Fine.”

Shouto blinked in surprise. 

Enji stated, “If you think your date can help your public image and not be a complete embarrassment to the business, you can bring them.”

That was the closest thing to approval Shouto would get today. He nodded and listened along to whatever else his father had to say, the only thing actually on his mind was thinking about how he would ask you out on a date to some stuffy gala. And hope that you’d say yes.

— ✩ —

“Wait, so, let me get this straight— You’re the CEO of Todoroki Enterprises and even after almost two months of knowing you, I had no clue?”

He inclined his head, looking solemn. “Yes, I’m sorry. Are you upset with me for not telling you sooner?” 

Initial shock aside, you couldn’t say that you were too surprised at the revelation. You knew Shouto was wealthy and probably in some high-up position in the business industry, but you never knew to what extent. A CEO? That had to be the highest rank in a company! And a company as well known as Todoroki Enterprises? 

The thought made you a little nervous. The guy you slowly befriended over the course of short cafe visits and silly texts was Mr. Todoroki? Or worse— The guy you stole away from doing work for a whole weekend was someone as busy as a CEO? You internally groaned. That had to be against laws of the universe or something. 

“I’m not upset, no,” you said with a shake of your head. “I just...can’t believe it I guess.” Eyes widening, you were quick to amend your words. “Well, I can believe it. You seem very intelligent and well-put together and, uh, rich! But I guess I just didn’t think a CEO would be so funny and kind.” You winced. “Oh no, is that mean to say?”

“I don’t think it’s mean.” He shrugged. “You’re right to say most people in this field aren’t known for their delightful temperaments.” 

You absentmindedly drummed your finger against your thigh, trying to process this new information. “So you’re Todoroki Shouto...and you want me to be your date to the Naruhata Charity Ball?” 

“Yeah. I know it’s a huge favor to ask, and I promise you can say no if you choose,” said Shouto in earnest. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to agree.” 

With a hum, you stretched your legs out under the table before crossing one over the other again. It was a Saturday afternoon where you had no work and Shouto managed to escape from his for a few hours of the day. You took him to your favorite ice cream place nearby and the two of you ate at a dining area outside the establishment. 

Just a mundane day as two friends hanging out with each other where you found out one of those friends was the chief executive officer of a billion dollar business headquartered in Japan. 

Totally normal, everyday occurrences, obviously. 

“And you need a date for this event?” you asked. In all honesty, you would be more than happy if Shouto asked you out on a date. He was fun and you enjoyed getting to know him. But these particular circumstances made you a tad bit more nervous.

“I normally wouldn’t need to bring one, but my father insists it’d help my public image and in turn the image of the company.” With a pinched look on his face, he took a bite of his ice cream. “In other words I bring a date or he picks one for me.” 

You weren’t the most caught up on super rich people drama, but it was almost infamous how estranged the Todoroki family was. Again, you didn’t know much but you did know enough to say that Todoroki Enji seemed like a Class A asshole. If you could help Shouto out with his weird dilemma, you saw no reason not to. 

“So this charita gala is like where they have those live auctions and silent auctions and get tipsy on fancy wine and champagne for hours right?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Yeah. Have you attended one?” 

“Not quite,” you said with a sheepish smile. “I’ve volunteered at one in school though. As one of those runners? It was fun. I got a bunch of those tiny complimentary candies!” Your mouth watered at the memory. “What kind of drug were in those candies? I’ve never had candy so good before!”

“The tiny, circular candies with the excessively big wrapper? The fruity ones?”

You shot up in your seat, excited he knew what you were talking about. “Yes! That’s the one!” 

The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. “I always see those at these types of events.”

“So… The candy will be there at the gala you want me to accompany you to?” 

“Most likely.”

“Can I take a bunch of those from candies there…?” you asked with an optimistic grin.

“I’ll be your accomplice in sneaking them out.”

“It’s a date!” you said before Shouto could get another word out. 

You’d be reunited with those yummy, fancy candies you’ve been separated from for far too long. What other reason did you need to agree? 

With a determined look on your face, you held your hand out for Shouto to shake to seal the deal. 

He blinked. “Wait. Did you want to discuss it some more? Maybe have a few days to think it through? I’m grateful, of course, but I don’t want you regretting anything.”

“No. I won’t regret it. I’d do anything to taste those candies again.”

Shouto looked unsure what to say. “Isn’t there some parable warning people not to be bribed by candy?”

“Not to take candy from a baby?”

“No. Not that one.”

“That’s the only one I know.”

“Never mind then.” 

The two of you exchanged confused looks before letting out fits of laughter. You weren’t sure if either of you knew exactly what the other was laughing at, but the moment was an enjoyable one nonetheless. 

“Yet another reason to bring me to that fancy event— I’ll make sure you’re entertained all the way through,” you playfully bragged, smoothing down the front of your shirt. 

“The event will definitely be more bearable with you there.” He licked a small bit of his ice cream from his pink spoon, making a sound of approval. “But you can change your mind about coming at any time, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” you said, holding a pinky out. “Pinky promise.”

With what seemed like a bashful expression on his face, Shouto extended his own pinky to interlock yours. You sealed it with a kiss and a heart, like you were a kid again. 

“Now, am I supposed to be in love with you at the gala?” you asked nonchalantly, finishing off your last bite of ice cream. He offered you a spoonful of his and you tried not to grow too flustered at Shouto feeding you his dessert. You murmured a quiet, “Thanks.”

He gave you a small smile. “You’re welcome. As for being in love… I don’t think that’s necessary. Just pretend you like being around me, I think.”

Under the table, you nudged his shoe with yours, pulling a face. “I don’t have to pretend about that, silly.” 

“Ah, well,” he paused, offering you another spoonful of ice cream, “I don’t either.”

“I’m glad.” Then, “Is this strawberry? I was never a big strawberry ice cream fan but for some reason this tastes so good.” 

You ignored the nagging voice in your head that said maybe it wasn’t so much the ice cream flavor but who you were enjoying it with. 

The two of you finished his dessert in peace and after cleaning up the area with a napkin, Shouto turned to you with an intent look on his face.

“Before the gala, would you mind if I talk you shopping so you could pick out what to wear?” he asked. “I would pay of course— It’s the least I could do to say thank you.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me! You’re my friend and I want to help.” You thought about it for a moment. “And get the candy.”

“Anything for the candy.”

“Exactly,” you said in complete seriousness. “But I wouldn’t mind going shopping with you. You could help me decide what to wear! I’m not exactly sure how to dress for an event as fancy as this.”

“You could wear anything to the event and still look amazing.” His words were ones of flattery but his tone sounded completely genuine. 

Heat rose to your cheeks at the compliment. “Look who’s talking— You’re practically runway ready no matter what time of day.”

“I’ve never walked a runway before.”

You stifled a laugh at his literal interpretation of your words. Cute. “Me neither.”

He looked confused at why you were grinning, but it still brought a smile to his own lips.

By now the sun had begun to set and Shouto was walking you to the train to see you off before you went home.

“Can I pick you up next weekend in the morning?” he said. “So we can get your outfit for the gala?”

“Sure! I’ll text you my address.” 

He nodded in contentment. “And again, you don’t have to worry about any costs.”

“Is this why my friends have called you a sugar daddy?” you teased, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked down the street, side-by-side. “But thank you. Shopping will be fun— We can even match colors!” 

“Mn.” He looked between the both of you, as if trying to picture what colors would complement each other. 

You crossed the sidewalk in a comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery by Shouto’s side. A few times, you even felt his knuckles brush against yours and you had the undeniable urge to hold his hand. Would that be weird? you asked yourself before deciding against it. 

Just because he asked you to be his date for the Naruhata Charity Ball didn’t mean he actually liked you, right? It was just a favor from a friend to a friend.

Something about that though made your stomach unsettled. Maybe part of you wanted it to be a real date— Wanted this to be a real date. 

“So I won’t be seeing you tomorrow,” you said after a moment’s silence, trying not to look too dejected. 

You knew he’d still text good morning and good night and ask you random things throughout the day (all of which you found really endearing, by the way), but it was still different from seeing him in person. Even though your time together in the morning was small, they still were enough to make your day. The thought of your waking hours being so entwined made you nervous, but for some reason it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. In fact, it was sort of...nice. 

“I’ll see you Monday morning, right?” you asked hopefully, though you were already fairly certain of the answer.

Shouto nodded. “Of course. It’s already marked on my calendar.”

“Ever the flatterer, hmm?” 

“Not flattery, just the truth.” He pulled his phone out and showed you his (rather packed) calendar app. To your surprise, a little reminder that said ‘See Y/N :)’ was marked on his Monday schedule. 

Unable to stop the beam from spreading across your lips, you hid your face in your hands. Gosh— Did he have to be so cute? He was making it harder and harder to only like him as a friend. And even now, you weren’t sure if you liked him only as a friend.

But you pushed those thoughts away.

That was something to deal with at a later time.

When you reached the train station you normally took home, you turned to Shouto, giving him a big hug. He was tall and warm. You could feel his lean muscles through his button-down shirt as you rested your head against his chest and arms around his waist. 

“Thanks for today,” you mumbled. “I’ll see you again soon.”

After a pause, he gave you a hug back, hands rubbing hesitant circles on your back in a way that made you smile. “Text me when you get home safe,” he said as you both reluctantly released each other from an embrace.

“I will,” you promised. “You do the same! Later, Shouto!” 

And with that, you waved goodbye and boarded the train, unable to shake the unwavering grin on your face all the way home.

a/n: when shouto started feeding y/n spoonfuls of his ice cream i cried (Ｔ▽Ｔ) that’s so cUTE OF HIM LIKE PLS SIR STOP BEFORE I FALL MORE IN LOVE WITH U !! >:O he’s such a sweetheart ahhhh,, i hope all the fluff made up for the brief appearance of endeavor ಠ╭╮ಠ  FHDJKF 

what to expect in the next part:

shopping for the gala time !! 

y/n struggles with their fEeLiNGs~ part 2

oh my, y/n has to try on dresses? oh my, it’d be a shame if they needed help putting it on :o *fake gasp* 

yeah things get just a lil steamy but shh

[ravenprinzess]

hii! could you possibly write a Kazuha fic where the reader is apart of the crux and often confides to Beidou about her feelings for Kazuha but he somehow overhears their conversation. Thank you!

we were always meant to be.

pairing ; kazuha x fem!reader

genre ; fluff.

word count ; 1.2k.

summary ; there is a certain samurai she adores, however she wasn't sure of his own feelings. one day he overhears her conversation about him.

warnings ; brief mention of violence, blood, injuries.

note ; this is adorable- KSHHE thanks for the request !! hope you like this. <3

---

for as long as she could remember, she was always on the run. that is when she found out about beidou and the crux. soon she managed to befriend beidou, resulting her ultimate join to the crux mates. the ship went across sea, from mondstadt, to liyue to inazuma - and even as far are sumeru and snezhnaya. they have helped people to escape, wether it was from the fatui or from the vision hunters. and one practicular person that they had managed to save, stood out to her the most. kaedehara kazuha. a lone samurai who was on the run from the vision hunters - soley because of his anemo vision. (y/n) found herself hanging out more and more with him, all whilst sailing along the calm waves of the ocean. she remembered their first meeting.

once there was enough space for him to come onto the ship, a gentle hand reached out to him. he looked up, seeing a young with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes staring back at him. he froze for a moment, letting himself indulge in her beauty. it took him a couple seconds to grab onto her hand, allowing her to pull him onto the ship before quickly sailing away. he sat himself down, watching the waves, and watching inazuma straying further away from them.

a young man who was covered in dirt and blood, stood alone at the shore of inazuma. his red hues stared out at the open sea. just barely he managed to escape - but now he had no way to go and no home to return to. and as if the archons heard his prayers, he saw a pirate ship coming to his vision. hope began to fill him up as he waved his hands in the air in order to get their attention. and luckily for him - they took a notice of him, sailing closer to him.

"the view is lovely, isn't it ?" he heard a sweet voice talking to him. he turned his head, meeting the gaze of the same girl that had helped him earlier. he nodded in response - the view was truly magnificent. "my name's (y/n)." she soon added, her gaze averting from him to the blue waves underneath the ship. he repeated her name a few times in his head, making sure to remember it. after all, he owes her now that she had saved his life. "kaedehara kazuha. but please call me kazuha." the male responded, a small smile formed on his lips. it was nice talking to someone who didn't try to hurt him.

"so, kazuha. what's your story ?" the girl asked out of curiousity. and yet her gaze remained away from him. his eyebrows furrowed. she wanted to know about him ? but why ? no one had ever shown that much interest in him. the feeling; it was quite refreshing to him. "my," he paused for a moment. "story ?" letting out a sigh, he hugged his legs to his chest, his blood-like hues staring off to the sunset. ah, it has been a while since he had properly admired the nature.

"i had pretty much ran away from inazuma." he began, and thought it was quite obvious already - she didn't say a word. "the dirt and scars you see on my clothing, i got those when i fought for my life against the vision hunters." needless to say, it was pretty impressive how he had managed to kill off a group of assailants all by himself. "well then, i'd get you clean clothing then." (y/n) responded with a smile, which had soon made his heart flutter.

---

"what should i do with my feelings ? what if he doesn't feel the same ?" he heard (y/n) letting out. a sharp pang pierced his chest. she liked someone, and was afraid that he wouldn't like her back. if he doesn't like her back then he's most likely insane. she was beautiful, funny, nice and had a kind heart - how could someone not like her ? and yet he decided to remain silent, hoping to learn the identity of her 'mystery man'. "you surely have to try. if kazuha doesn't like you back then so be it - at least you'd know you were pining after the wrong person."

it was time for him to show off his gratitude for saving him. of course, he'd thank beidou later as well. but now it was time to look for (y/n). his eyes wandered across the ship, his eyebrows furrowed when he couldn't catch a glimpse of her. a sigh escaped from his lips when he made his way inside, only to stop by beidou's captain room. he heard voices from there, which were quite familiar to him. taking a step closer, he realized who it was - beidou and (y/n). the two ladies that saved his life. but what were they talking about ? the boy got closer and decided to eavesdrop out of curiousity.

kazuha.

that's him. that's his name. does that mean- oh, he leaned on the door too much and accidentally opened it, revealing the figures of the two women that were chatting with one another. his face flushed red out of pure embarrassment before blurting out a small apology. he couldn't bare looking at (y/n) in the eyes due to her sudden, indirect confession. beidou let out a sigh. "i'll let you two talk alone." and with that being said, she walked out. while passing by kazuha, she squeezed his shoulder gently to reassure him everything was going to turn out okay. he nodded shortly before entering the room, turning to face the latter soon after.

"so, you heard it, huh ?" (y/n) let out a nervous chuckle out of her lips. there was no point denying anything - especially not when he had heard it. after all; you cannot get what she said wrong - unless you're utterly stupid. but kazuha was not. he was the smartest guy that she had ever met - he went through so much despite his young age, so of course he was wise. wiser than most people, that is. "i did." the male confirmed shortly, his pale fingers fiddling with the red streak in his hair. "so, you have feelings for me."

"i do." the female nodded shortly, her gaze averting from him. "and if you don't feel the same just say it already. i hate standing here and feeling like a complete moron." after she said that, the male's eyes widened in surprise. why did she think so lowly of herself ? it pained his heart more than he had thought. letting out a hsavy breath, he approached the latter and reached his hands out, pushing strands of her hair behind her ear.

"i don't think you look like a moron. in fact, i was about to say that i love you too. without you, i wouldn't be standing here now. well, without beidou too. but, you were the one who pulled me into the ship before i could get caught, and you were the only one willing to talk to me on my first days here on this ship." the male hummed, wrapping his arms around her figure before pulling her in for a warm embrace. "perhaps we were always meant to be, (y/n)."

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Drifting

I had so much fun writing up the introduction to this request! You’ll probably see why in just a minute too...but, fun fact, the lovely Khaos, the newest addition to the blog, helped me out with this request when I found myself a little stuck!

Khaos added a helpful amount of amazing to the ending scene, so be sure to thank them for their amazing input! Oh, and make sure ya let us know what you think, okay?

I would also like to add that I know it’s been quiet here on the blog and I’m sorry for that but personally, I’ve had some...curveballs thrown at me health wise so you probably won’t see a lot from me. So, yeah.

Navigation 

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

.

 Tamaki slowly peeked up above the ocean’s surface, keeping as quiet as possible to remain unnoticed while he allowed his eyes to land upon the object of his curiosities and affections; swallowing thickly when he realised that you had shown up at exactly sunset yet again, just like always.

 And, as always, you were alone. You had no companions that could prevent him from stealing you away to his secret cave and no one to help you if he decided to keep you to himself. An idea that appealed to him more with each of your visits to the beach.

 What interested Tamaki most, however, was the fact that with each of your visits, you made sure to only come by the secluded beach at sunset; when everyone else had gone home for the day. Tourists seemed to believe all the local’s stories of monsters beneath the water’s surface, waiting for the sun to go down so that their attacks could go unnoticed until it was too late.

 Of course, it was all nonsense. Tamaki was the only merperson to occupy this particular beach and he had been for quite a few years now; any and all monsters were long gone, migrated to places that weren’t so aware of the dangers that lurked beneath the depths.

 But it was also because of the late hour that you came to the beach, that Tamaki couldn’t approach you. He was all too aware of how a human woman might react to a random man approaching them in the water when the sun was beginning to set, shadows casting over the sky and melting the beautiful orange hues into an inky blackness.

 So, instead, Tamaki had to be satisfied with watching you from afar. Appreciating your beauty and daydreaming about all the different possibilities of meeting you; how he could befriend you and get closer, all while knowing it would be an impossibility.

 .

 ~  ~  ~

 .

 Tamaki stared at you with wide, saucer-like eyes, his mouth hanging open while you swam towards him slowly; your body remaining below the water’s surface, hiding the fact that you were without your bikini top.

 The very same bikini top that he held in his hands, a scrap of clothing that he had been inspecting out of confusion given that it was nearly midnight and he had thought that you had left the beach hours ago like you normally would.

 “…I think that’s mine” Your softly uttered words startled him, making him jolt and sink down further into the water while he released the bikini top; allowing it to float up to the surface, harmlessly bobbing up and down with the waves between the both of you.

 “Sorry, I uh, didn’t realise that someone else was here” He muttered out a pathetic excuse for an apology, trying his best not to let his tentacles move into your line of sight; desperate to at least seem normal, even if it wouldn’t be a lasting impression.

  Tamaki gulped nervously as he watched you reach for the floating bikini top, averting his gaze when you shuffled around to put the piece of clothing back on; the hurried movements of your fingers catching his attention with how the water splashed from the clumsy actions. The silence beginning to feel awkward while Tamaki tried his best not to look at you before you were ready, not wanting to come off as a pervert. Not to you.

 “It’s okay, I didn’t realise anyone else was here either. Not this late at night anyways and certainly not with the way everyone goes on about the monsters that are waiting for sunset so they can eat you” You rolled your eyes as the words left your lips, briefly giving Tamaki a once over before nodding your head to yourself; making Tamaki wonder if you were giving him the benefit of the doubt despite how strange it was for him to be here at this time, more so considering that he had technically been holding onto your bikini top.

 Then again, it would make sense for you to assume that he had thought it was a piece of seaweed; because honestly, that’s exactly what Tamaki had first thought when he picked it up.

 It wasn’t uncommon for people to investigate strange and/or suspicious objects that were found floating in the ocean, only to cast them away as quickly as they had been found. Tamaki had seen humans do so more times than he could count and luckily for him, he had had the brains to immediately release the skimpy piece of clothing; a guilty man would have tried to hide it, or simply kept held of it. Not Tamaki though, he had dropped it, allowed you to take it back and even averted his gaze so that you could have some form of privacy while fixing your top; even if it hadn’t been a great deal of privacy. There was only so much he could offer given the circumstances after all.

 However, even with these facts in mind, Tamaki could easily see that you were still on guard and he was happy to see such a thing. It reassured him that you didn’t trust random strangers in the water just because they had been polite enough to look away while you were topless.

 “Still, I am sorry…about your top, I mean. If I had of known what it was…” Tamaki trailed off as his face flushed with embarrassment, the tips of his pointed ears beginning to turn a similar shade of scarlet while he dipped further into the gentle waves of the night’s warm ocean waters; only stopping when his nose was beneath the salty waters.

 “It’s fine, okay? No harm, no foul” You hummed out the words in a soft voice, swimming around to face the embarrassed merman; all the while being completely unaware of what he truly was.

 “So…what brings you out so late?” Your question made Tamaki’s body go stiff, anxiety rushing through his system while his brain scrambled to think of something, anything to say in response to such an innocently asked question; anything but the truth, that is.

 There was no way known that Tamaki could tell you the truth behind his daily visits to this beach, especially when he could live happily and stealthily beneath the ocean waves for the rest of his life if it weren’t for your presence on this beach.

 Tamaki wanted to slap himself. Here he was, minding his own business in the ocean when the opportunity that he would have killed for, landed in his lap. The chance to speak with you, instead of just stare at you from afar and yet here he was, completely and utterly unable to get a single word out; instead, the fears of what could happen filled his mind.

 The terrifying what ifs of you hating him if he opened his mouth and said the wrong thing tormenting him into a nervous silence. Tamaki’s only relief from the situation, was that he would have the memories of having gotten close to you without making you scream and panic; though that also meant that no one would notice if he were to steal you away in that moment, if he took you to a place that no one would ever hope to find.

 But that was something that he couldn’t do and definitely something that Tamaki shouldn’t think about, unless he wanted to fuel the desires that he so often pushed aside. You would surely hate him if he were to do even half of the things that he had thought about.

 “Well, I guess I’ll see you around…” You mumbled out the farewell awkwardly, turning away from Tamaki in order to swim back towards the shore, no longer able to enjoy the solitude of an empty beach.

 “Uh, wait!” Tamaki called out to you again, finally able to find his voice once more as he reached out for you, his hand closing around your arm. Sealing his choice of interaction with you when you turned to face him. He should have let you leave.

 “Your…um, your strap, it’s loose…” He barely managed to mumble out the words without humiliating himself, averting his gaze when he found himself unable to meet your eyes; not needing the added kick of self-loathing on top of his nervousness.

 “You’ll lose your top again if you don’t fix it…”

 .

 “Oh. Well, do you mind?”

 .

 Tamaki gulped nervously as you turned your back to him once more, allowing him to reach for the loose strings belonging to your bikini top; needing to untie the knot that you had created in a rush minutes ago. If Tamaki were telling the truth, the knot probably would have held, but at the same time, he wouldn’t get another chance to let his skin brush against your own.

 Now, he was in heaven, making sure to tie a strong knot while at the same time, being sure that it wasn’t so tight that you wouldn’t be able to undo it yourself later on.

 “There…all done” He mumbled out the words under his breath when he was finished tying the knot, his fingers lingering on your skin for a brief moment, wanting more; though you pulled away before he could get ahead of himself.

 Leaving Tamaki to breathe a sigh of release, all while silently cursing both himself and all of his pent-up desires. More so when you spun around to smile at him, the radiance you gave off nearly blinding his mopey self.

 “You’re beautiful…!” Tamaki blurted out the words before he could stop himself, quickly slapping his hands over his mouth with his eyes going wide in a mix of shock and horror. Mortified that he had said something like that without realising.

 Your eyes went wide, the smile fading from your lips and making Tamaki wish that he had legs so that he could kick himself. Unaware that you weren’t upset, but rather the opposite, never having been so earnestly complimented before; it brought an unfamiliar warmth to your cheeks and to your heart.

 “Um…thanks…” Tamaki watched you as you swam closer to him, torn between escaping to the ocean’s depths and closing the gap between the two of you; desperate for both, yet knowing better than to actually reach for the object of his desires.

 With his mind struggling to choose between the two options, Tamaki froze in place at the worst time; allowing you to move closer until he felt your warm toes brush over his wriggling tentacles, fear filling him when you jolted back in surprise. Your eyes scanning the dark waters for seaweed.

 “What’s…wrong?” Tamaki mentally slapped himself for asking while he watched you lower your head closer to the water’s surface, still searching for seaweed that he knew you wouldn’t find. He was just thankful that it was so late in the night, making it nearly impossible for you to see anything below the surface; you weren’t like him, you didn’t have eyes unaffected by the dark.

 .

 “Well, it’s just…I thought that something touched my leg…”

 .

 Tamaki moved his tentacles as far away from you as he could, praying that the darkness would be enough to push aside your curiosity, but apparently, it was too late; your hands closed around two of his now squirming tentacles as he tried to pull them free of your hold.

 “Y-You…you’re a…” You breathed out in amazement, eyes wide as you stared at him and though it wasn’t in fear, Tamaki couldn’t take it. He wriggled his tentacles free of your grip and dove deep into the water; fearing what you would do now that you knew what he was.

 .

 “Wait!”

 .

 Tamaki ignored the muffled cry for him to stop, determined not to lose the strength it took to leave you behind instead of dragging you into the depths with him.

 Before Tamaki could get too far away however, he felt your hands close around his tentacles for the second time, causing him to freeze on the spot; heart thundering in his chest. He was already struggling to keep himself contained after having his tentacles grabbed the first time, but now it was too much; his tentacles were sensitive after all.

 Tamaki turned around in the water to look at you with a hunger that he had been pushing aside for far too long; using every last ounce of willpower he had left not to grab you and take you with him to his cave.

 The two of you remained submerged for a moment longer, staring at each other through the impossibly dark ocean water of the night. Tamaki knew you couldn’t see him, but your hold on his tentacles was enough to give you a direction to look at and like this, he had the rare opportunity to take in your breathtaking appearance; enjoying it as much as possible before wrapping some of his tentacles around your body and swimming for the surface.

 You were a human, which meant that you needed oxygen. A fact that he had nearly forgotten for a moment there, but either way; Tamaki wasn’t going to let you die. Not now, not when he could prevent it.

 “I’m not…I’m not gonna—” Tamaki motioned you to stop speaking as you tried to cough at the words, a suggestion that you decided to follow given that it was hard to regain your breath and speak at the same time. Given that Tamaki was no longer trying to swim away and that his tentacles were still wrapped around your body, keeping you afloat so that you didn’t have to put any effort into swimming yourself; you figured that you had time to catch your breath.

 “I was trying to say that I’m not going to turn you in. I was just…surprised, I guess” You rubbed at your neck as you explained yourself, your words making Tamaki’s stress melt away while thoughts of adoration towards you filled his mind.

 It was mind blowing to him that a human that had just discovered his secret wasn’t about to go running off telling everyone that merpeople existed and it certainly made him love you more than he already did.

 “Though, I am a little confused. I’ve heard those stories for years, listening to them as a little girl…how going out into the water at night is a terrible idea because monsters from the ocean will drag you beneath the water and steal you away” Tamaki grimaced as you giggled at the thought, clearly having no idea how close you had come to such a fate; even if the end result would have been different. Tamaki wouldn’t have hurt you, or eaten you alive like the old monsters of the ocean would have; no, he would have done so many different things to you. Things that would surely have you slap him if he dared to say them aloud to you.

 “Well, you know…don’t believe everything you hear I guess…” He managed to get a light-hearted chuckle out as he spoke, deciding that for the moment it would be better to keep you entrapped in his tentacles; mostly so that you couldn’t grab a hold of them again and push him into his instincts more than you already have.

 “I guess so, but I don’t know…you don’t seem so bad. Maybe having you steal me away wouldn’t be so terrible” Tamaki’s features twisted into unfiltered surprise at your giggled words, blood rushing through his ears and completely blocking out whatever it was that you were currently continuing on with.

 It seemed you managed to notice the faraway look in his eyes while his mind worked overtime to process your joke. Going as far as to reach out with your hand to brush your fingertips against his cheek, ripping him from his thoughts and dragging him back to reality; your eyes locking with his heated gaze the moment his attention was back on the present you instead of his fantasy version.

 “…You would let me steal you away?” He pulled your body closer to his with his tentacles as he spoke, the slippery limbs tightening their hold on you ever-so-slightly while you gulped nervously; unable to look away from the merman in front of you.

 “…I…yes, I guess so” You spoke softly, unsure words tasting foreign to your tongue but unregrettable all the same. There was a certain air of importance surrounding the spoken words and now you found yourself slowly beginning to sink into the water with a smiling Tamaki.

 It was amazing, how his eyes had lit up with joy at your uttered words. Though it made you think vaguely of the old fae stories, where your word was a binding contract and if that were to be held in the same regard with mer-people, then it seemed like you had agreed to a new way of life.

 .

 “You won’t regret it, I promise. I’ve got the perfect place in mind for you, you’ll be safe with me…I won’t let anyone steal you away…”

[teasty]

kiss yourself (03) || h.js

● pairing: han jisung x (female) reader

● genre: angst, smut, (kinda) fluff  ||  fwb to lovers au || college!au || non!idol au

● warnings: | praise + degradation | reader and jisung are not in a relationship at the beginning! | suggestive dialogue | profanity | unprotected sex | softdom!harddom!jisung | reader gets into short fist fight | fingering | hair pulling | slight dumbification |

● words: 10.4k

→ summary: It all started when you and your best friend for life, Han Jisung, got a little bit too tipsy at a party and ended up waking up naked in the same bed. After that unfortunate night, you and Jisung confirmed there be a distinguished “friends with benefits” relationship between the two of you, with a few rules.

Number One: No one else is supposed to know about this relationship.

Number Two: The minute one of the two of you starts a serious relationship with someone, the benefits are cut off immediately.

Number Three: Have to respect the other’s wishes, if one doesn’t want to do it, then there’s no argument.

Number Four: No falling in love.

But, when Jisung starts crushing over your classmate, you start to break the rules. One by one.

a/n: a lot happens in this chapter,, it's pretty fast paced but it is what it is ~

Chapter One | Chapter Two | CHAPTER THREE

“I want you to fuck me dumb, Jisung. I want to think about nothing but you.”

You refused to cry, no matter how bad you wanted to.

You didn’t actually head back to the dorm, deciding you weren’t tired enough to fall asleep fast enough and that you simply wanted to have the comfort of being alone for the time being. You’re so fed up, so irritated and stressed, not even Jisung fucking you over and over again until you’re too weak to even speak could fix it. Neither did you feel like dealing with Jeongja, so you headed straight for the 24/7 cafe a few blocks away from the school. You didn’t go there often, but you went there a few times with Jisung in the mornings. You weren’t as familiar with the place like he was, but you knew for a fact that it was open all day, every week day.

There was only one other person in the cafe. A young, tired looking woman who typed vigorously on her laptop, which was plugged into the wall along with her phone, which she listened to whatever on. She must be a college student, since she had a backpack at her feet and a lanyard hanging from her pocket. You didn’t recognize her, so she was probably your senior. She gave you a subtle glance before turning back to her laptop, and you ignored her. Walking (more limping) up to the cashier.

“Welcome. It’s pretty late,” said a man who didn’t seem too young, but nor too old. Probably in his mid - twenties. He had a small stubble on his chin and his longish hair is tied back, a few rebellious strands framing his decently structured face. You could make out his toned chest and broad shoulders underneath the beige button up he wore, a dusty pink apron around his waist, accompanied by a pair of black slacks. He’s attractive, you couldn’t deny. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too late for a pretty little lady like you to be walking around, alone, in a tee shirt?”

“I’m fine on my own,” you admit, “I’ve been here a few times, but I can’t remember the menu. Mind handing me one?” The man nods, reaching over something to grab a one sided menu, and he hands it to you. After glancing over it, you felt too nauseous to eat, but you needed caffeine, something to keep you going since sleep wasn’t going to be an option for you tonight. “Can I just get an americano? Make it large, please, I need it.”

“Oh, coffee at this hour?” He chuckles.

“This is a coffee shop,” you glance around, a little agitated.

“Yeah, yeah,” the man laughs out, waving a hand as he pressed a few buttons on the cash register, “I’m just teasing you, sweetheart. Is that all you want? An americano, large?”

“No, get me the green tea, too,” you sigh, placing down the menu. It’s not like you to get bitter drinks, let alone two. You’re actually more of a sweets kind of person. But, since you’re not feeling too well, you just want hot, bitter drinks to keep you from going insane.

The man nods, “Hmm, tough night?” You nod slowly, “Surprised you came to a coffee shop. Most people who have rough nights usually hang around at the bar down the road. What made you come here of all places?”

“Well, it’s the first place I thought of,” you shrug a shoulder, “I don’t want a hangover in the morning either. I always know how those go. Never had the best luck when I’m drunk.” You chuckle, smiling wistfully for a moment before it turns into a bitter frown at the thought of your vague first time with Jisung. You shake your head slowly, subtly. It wasn’t a mistake. Not at all. It wasn’t bad luck. But, right now, it kind of feels like it. You’ve gotten more attached to Jisung than you have the years before you both started fucking around. “Plus, my friend used to bring me here. Thought I’d see the place alone.”

“Well, I appreciate you stopping by,” the man smiles down at you, and you give him a brief one back, “What’s your name? What should I put as the name, sorry.”

“(Y/N) (L/N),” you grumble out your name.

“Are you a foreigner?”

“No. My parents just aren’t born here,” you respond, having gotten the question hundreds of times in the past.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss (Y/N) (L/N),” the man smiles, and you chuckle softly as he rings up the order, “My name is Jeongguk. I assume you go to the college down the road?” Jeongguk asks as you sit on one of the stools at the counter. You sigh, your shoulders dropping as you nod slowly. Watching as Jeongguk prepares the americano. “Ah, I used to go there. I already graduated.”

“What was your major?” You ask curiously.

“I was a fine arts major. I only have my undergrad, but I’m saving up to go back and get my masters,” Jeongguk says.

“Oh,” your eyes brighten, intrigued by the sudden conversation, “If you don’t mind me asking, what’ll you do with your masters once you get it?”

Jeongguk sighs, his head tilting slightly as he focuses his eyes on the drink in his hand, perfecting it, “I’m not sure, actually. There’s a lot of things I could do. I could just work under a company to make things for ‘em, like designs and shit like that. But, I’m more into painting. Heh, but there’s not much painting can get for you nowadays. I haven’t seen many jobs that take in painters, so I’m reconsidering whether or not painting should be my go - to.”

“Right,” you nod, completely understanding, “It’s an amazing skill to have, though. You could probably start up on social media and sell your works worldwide.”

“Social media’s never been my forte, but it’s a thought,” Jeongguk passes you the americano, and you don’t hesitate to take a sip of the hot drinking, cringing slightly at the bitter taste. But, you soon get used to it. “What’s your major?”

“Political science,” you chuckle.

“Oh - ho! We got a smarty - pants over here, now don’t we?” Jeongguk jokes as he grabs a white, bulky mug from a shelf. You chuckle, a bit flusters. Already feeling better from this conversation with him, “The only person I knew in political science was Chris! You know Chan? Bang Chan?”

“Yeah, he’s on my committee, we’re friends,” you shrug a shoulder.

“Nice. Let him know I said hi, won’t you?” You nod quickly, taking another sip of the coffee, “Is it as much work as they say?”

“Well, with this dumb team I was pressured into, yeah, it’s a lot more than most other people with different majors seem to have,” you answer, and Jeongguk nods slowly, listening intently as he puts a kettle filled with water on a small stovetop. He then turns to you and leans against the bar table separating you both, “It’s fine, though. I’m just doing it to get a job so I can provide myself with enough money to get what I need and a bit more to have what I want. People in that field get lots of money, you know?”

“Yeah, just depends on what you decide to be,” Jeongguk nods.

“I guess you’re right,” you nod slowly, “I’m most likely to graduate with my bachelors, but I’m gonna take law so I can be a lawyer. Either tort or criminal, I don’t mind.”

“Ah, those are tricky fields in law, aren’t they,” Jeongguk chuckles, and you nod slowly, “Well, I wish you the best of luck. By the way, when did you and Chris become friends? I’ve been friends with him for a few years, now, and I don’t recall him being with you.”

“Oh, I only befriended him at the beginning of the year,” you say, and Jeongguk nods, “I went to a party with my friend and met him there. We’re also on the same committee for planning for the school, so we got pretty close.”

“You mean the huge party right before school started up, don’t you?” You nod slowly, “Mm. I know just what party you’re talking about. I think I might’ve seen you. You looked familiar when you walked in, so it’d make sense. Let me guess, were you with one of Chris’s buds? I forget his name, but I think his family name is Han, right?”

Your eyes instantly roll, and you nod, “Yeah. Han Jisung. I went with him.”

“Ouch, what a reaction,” Jeongguk laughs, noting your eyes which rolled sassily, “Did he do something to you?”

“It’s a long story.” You admit. It’s not too long, actually. It could be simplified, but you didn’t want to talk about it to a stranger.

“I have time,” Jeongguk says, smiling brightly.

You raise a brow, “So do I, and I’m going to spend it drinking my coffee.” Jeongguk raises his hands in surrender.

“Fine, fine. Have it your way,” And finally, Jeongguk finished your tea and gave it to you.

You both talked for the remainder of the night (well, morning) until the sun came up. You had about five coffees, trying different kinds that Jeongguk suggested, and another green tea with honey in it. You learned that Jeongguk graduated early, mostly since he didn’t have enough money, but he was also ahead of the rest of the year by a long run, so he privately graduated. He didn’t start working at the coffee shop until a few months ago, and works the night shift and was the only one there. Apparently, no one usually came in during his shift except for travellers passing by or the tired college students, which were more likely to come by and study.

You didn’t even notice it was morning until Jeongguk’s face illuminated with the sunlight over the city’s buildings. You both traded numbers, and you promised to come again during his shift on his days. He said he’d text you, but you weren’t too sure he would. You were at least thankful to not be totally alone that night, since part of you knew that Jisung was going to get to your head, and you’d be either upset or angry. Jeongguk was able to rid your mind of him, even if only for those five or so hours you sat there, talking to him.

But, once you walked into your dorm to change into a quick pair of different clothes, all you could think about is Jisung. Debating your feelings.

You, however, constantly repeated to yourself that you didn’t even like him like that. He’s only a friend. Only a friend. Have it be with or without benefits, he’s only a friend.

You decided to just wear a pair of baggy sweats and an old hoodie, not caring much for your appearance. Although there’s tons of caffeine running through your system, you were still exhausted from the lack of sleep, and your mood had been dropped. You knew there was probably going to be another meeting today with Chunae, but you couldn’t be too sure. You didn’t get any work done last night (obviously), and you don’t know whether or not you’ll hear it from her or not, whether or not she’ll pull you out of class again for a meeting you could care less about.

You didn’t see Jisung for the first few hours of school, per usual. He didn’t try texting you nor calling you, which you were a bit skeptical about, but you tried to ignore it. You’re supposed to be agitated with him. And, you are. You still cared for him, and you still miss him despite it being only one night. But, then again, he probably didn’t miss you the way you missed him.

He would miss you, sure. But he wouldn’t miss the way you kiss him, right? He wouldn’t miss the way you hold him. The way you love him.

But, you’re not in love with him.

You can’t be.

You did see Chris, though. He actually walked up to you during passing hall and pulled you aside, against a wall. He wore a concerned, tired look as he folded his arms. Staring down at you, and rose a brow. It was silent for a moment until you emit a low, “What?”

“What’s going on between you and Jisung?” Christopher says sternly, and your blood runs cold right then and there. Your eyes widen and your brows raise as you stare up at him. Did he know? You’re too scared to answer.

“What… do you mean?” You utter out.

“Jisung called me last night asking if you were at my dorm last night at, like, midnight. Woke me up when I should’ve gotten sleep…” Christopher grumbles, rubbing his temple, “He said he thought you would have run off to my place. Didn’t say shit as to why, though. Didn’t say a damn thing. The boy even asked me to go to your dorm to see if you were there, but no one answered. I figured you were asleep. I just need to know why Jisung had to call me at fucking midnight ‘cause of you.” Christopher’s Australian accent slips into his Korean, which means he’s probably both irritated and tired.

“Oh… I’m sorry. No, I was out at some coffee shop until, like, five in the morning last night,” You answer truthfully, and Christopher sighs, “Oh, and by the way. I talked to Jeongguk there. He said hello.”

“Really, now? Jeon Jeongguk?” Christopher asks, and you shrug a shoulder, “Well, I appreciate it. Tell the guy I miss him. But, that’s not the point. At this point, I’m kind of concerned. I went over my conversation with Jisung last night all morning and yet I can’t find a single reason why you would be running to my dorm like he thought or why he didn’t go see you himself. Did he do something wrong?”

“It’s not that it’s wrong. I’m just upset about it,” you answer, and Christopher nods slowly.

“Do you mind telling me what that is? If you do, it’s a possibility I can help,” Christopher suggests, but you smile and slowly shake your head.

“It’s not something you can help with this time, Chan,” You sigh, “It’s a bit too personal.”

“Okay, now I’m really concerned. I might have been Jisung’s friend longer, but I care about you, too, (Y/N). Please tell me what’s wrong. I know something’s happening between the two of you. And if it’s really that personal, I promise on my life not to tell anybody,” Christopher says.

You sigh and look around before grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him away to somewhere more private. He didn’t argue, but he seemed a bit surprised at how quickly you acted. You pulled him out to the courtyard, not caring much for being tardy, anymore. Your heart thumped in your chest. The rules vividly recite themselves in your mind; “No one else is supposed to know about this relationship.”

Well, here goes one rule flushed down the toilet.

Once you stopped, Christopher shoves his hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders at you, “Okay, now what is it?”

You shake your head slightly, debating whether or not to tell him. If Jisung found out, it’d be the death of you. But, you don’t know if you should be excited about that or scared. You’re not sure how he’d react to such news from Christopher.

You know what, fuck it, you thought to yourself.

“Well?”

“We’ve been fucking since the party,” you blurt out, and Christopher’s brows raise in shock. At both the news and how flat toned and blunt you were being. “I got a bit too tipsy and we ended up having sex. We made specific rules, which is so dumb of me to say since one of them is to literally tell nobody. Which means you can’t tell anyone and you can’t let Jisung know that you know this or he will kill me, Chan. Kill me, got it? Whatever, it… he and I had a bit of a fight after doing it last night.”

“But why?” Christopher carefully asks.

“Because he’s after a girl. A girl I’m not too fond of,” you admit.

“Chunae, isn’t it?”

“How’d you know?” You raise a brow, glad he isn’t overreacting to your confession to sleeping around with Jisung.

“Let’s just say that he’s been flirting with her every chance he gets,” Christopher admits, and you sigh softly, looking down in disappointment, but trying your hardest not to make it too obvious about how upset you were, “They share some classes, and he’s apparently been talking to her every chance he gets. Not to mention, Chunae seemed pretty into him, too.”

“Yeah, no shit,” you sigh, tiredness suddenly coming over you, as well as exhaustion, “We fought about it, but I’m the one in the wrong. He has every right to like someone and want to date someone. But… I dunno.”

“Do you love him?” Christopher asks slowly, and you take a seat at the nearest bench, Christopher following behind you and sitting next to you.

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully in a small voice, “I really don’t know. One part of me misses him so much whenever I’m without him. One part of me loves him, but the other part just tells me that he’s only my friend and nothing more. But, yeah. He wanted me to stay the night at his dorm, but I didn’t since he only had me over and treated me well because he’s going to cut things off soon.”

“Do you want him to cut things off?”

“No!” You yell, a little too upset with the situation, and Christopher breaths in through his nose. You cover your face with his hands, slightly muffled by your hands, “I don’t! But he says that we will, and I-” you don’t bother to look up, cutting yourself off before you start crying out of nowhere. Your head hurt from the lack of sleep, but your eyes hurt from the need and resistance to cry.

Christopher placed a warm hand on your back, and you breath slowly.

“I don’t want him to leave me, Chris… I really don’t,” you shake your head slightly. Christopher’s hand massages your back and shoulders reassuringly. His warm hand giving you the reassurance you needed.

“I know, (Y/N), I know. It’s alright,” he sighs, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you into a hug. You don’t resist it. In fact, you lift yourself up to let your hands grip onto his shirt to hug him tightly, “If you’ll like, I can talk to Jisung. I won’t tell him that I know about the… benefits… but, I’ll let him know that you just don’t feel comfortable about his relationship with Chunae, alright? How does that sound?” Christopher’s voice is sweet and soft, calming you from your growing tears.

“That sounds perfect, Channie… thank you,” you whisper softly, your head burrowed in his chest.

It’s weird being held by another man. Another man that isn’t Han Jisung. It’s nice, especially since Christopher has such a loving and gentle personality. His hands hug you without any awkwardness, and it’s nice that someone other than Jisung can hug you without being uncomfortable.

But, your comfort was soon taken away when Christopher let’s go of you and shifts in his seat. You look up, and you see someone familiar walking towards you both. At first, your tears — blurred eyes make it impossible to see who it is, but once your eyes are cleared, Han Jisung’s perfect face comes into view. His face is stoic, his lips down turned in a subtle frown. His eyes are focused on you, and you stand up in your spot, clutching your backpack to get ready to leave.

“Don’t you dare move, (Y/N),” Jisung yells loudly, and you freeze at the spot. Christopher’s eyes widening from how aggressive Jisung sounded. Once he’s directly in front of you, he finally looks over to Christopher, and steps towards him, “I asked you to check up on her, Chan. Not do whatever the fuck you guys were doing just now.”

“What, comforting her?” Christopher stands his ground, standing up despite them both being the same height, “Something you should have been doing instead of me?”

Your hand clamps over your mouth. Jisung’s brows furrow, and his fists clench, but he doesn’t do anything, “I asked you a simple favor. To check up on her for me.”

“And that’s what I was doing,” Christopher defends himself, and you watch curiously. Neither of them spare you a glance, both staring at each other, “I’m not trying to pick a fight here, Jisung. But, it’s not my place to take care of her in… your situation.” Christopher looks Jisung up and down, and Jisung wears a disgusted look on his face. “I only asked what the fuck you did for you to think she was running off to me. ‘Cause, she was actually at the fucking coffee shop all damn morning talking to Jeongguk.”

“Jeongguk?” Jisung’s brows furrow, and he looks over to you briefly. You slowly nod, “Did you sleep at all last night?” You slowly shook your head, and Jisung groaned, running a hand through his messy hair. He turns back to Christopher, “Can you leave, Chan? I need to talk to her.”

Christopher looks past Jisung to you, and you shake your head slowly. Somewhat afraid of being alone with Jisung just for what you will talk about. However, Christopher gives you an apologetic look before turning back to Jisung, “Fine. Call me later (Y/N). If you don’t, I’m stopping by your dorm to check up on you.”

“Alright… Bye, Chan…” You mumble loudly back, and Christopher gives Jisung a subtle glance before grabbing his things and walking away.

You sat back down, half expecting Jisung to do the same. But, no, he stood in front of you. Towering over you as you stared at your feet. His hands stuff themselves into his hoodie’s pockets, and there’s a tense silence.

“Jisung…”

“Why did you run off like that last night, (Y/N)?” Jisung immediately cuts you off, and you can’t find yourself having the courage to look him in the eyes. You felt embarrassed for yourself, but you had to stay and talk to him. You don’t know how to answer. You don’t have a straight answer in your tired mind. “Answer me, (Y/N). We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep quiet.”

“I don’t know, Jisung,” you breathe out, gripping the bench below you, “I… Was just irritated.”

“Why?” Jisung crouches down so you can’t avoid his eyes. Unlike how you thought, Jisung’s eyes were more concerned than angry, like you thought they’d be. His hand escapes his pocket to rest on your knee, “I knew you weren’t irritated. You were just fine before I started talking about Chunae.”

Caught red handed. You stared at him like a deer in headlights, and your lips purse, trying your hardest to find an answer.

“I don’t know, Jisung. I really don’t,” you whisper to him pitifully, and Jisung shakes his head.

“No… No, I know you know the answer, (Y/N). I can make everything better if you just talked to me,” Jisung says in a voice you rarely heard. He’s usually joking around or simply has such an upbeat attitude. It’s so rare to see Jisung this serious, it almost makes you want to cry by how it affects you so. The way his voice lowers, relaxing and calming, yet stern. The way his eyes weren’t bright or happy, but not cold or angry.

It was almost scary.

“You say that as if there’s something wrong with me,” you try to chuckle bitterly, dodging his stare. But, his head moves with yours, and his hand that rests on your knee rises to firmly cup your cheek, turning your head to look directly at him with no exceptions.

“Because there is. There’s something you’re not telling me,” Jisung answers.

“Jisung,” your voice hardens, your heartbeat rising as Jisung’s words tug and pull at your heart, “I need to get to class. I’m already very late.”

“No, you’re staying here until we figure this out,” Jisung’s other hand grips your wrist, tugging at it, even though you never moved to get up in the first place. He seemed on edge, and took a brief glance behind him before turning back to you, “You’re my best friend for life, (Y/N). You know that. I care so much for you, and if there’s something wrong with my decisions, then I need you to tell me.”

“I…” your eyes close for a minute, nibbling on your bottom lip before looking up at him, “I don’t want you to cut things off between us, Jisung. I want to keep doing this… whatever this is. It makes me happy, Jisung.”

“Oh, (Y/N)...” Jisung sighs softly, his head dipping for a moment before he looks up at you with a pitiful smile, “Is that why you were mad last night?”

“So what if it is? You won’t do anything about it,” you answer, and Jisung’s brows furrow, “Even if I begged on my knees for you to keep doing this with me, you’d still reject me, wouldn’t you?”

“I — (Y/N), you know that I—“

“Wouldn’t you?” You cut him off, your glossy eyes boring into his. His hand falls from your face, resting on your thigh, and he squeezes it slightly.

“It depends…” Jisung answers truthfully, “On what I’m rejecting you for.” Your frown deepens, upset with his answer. Even so, you would’ve been upset if he said no. “If it’s for something stupid, like someone told me to stop or I had moral changes, hell no. But if it were for something like… like Chunae and I… then yes.”

You don’t answer him. You just stare at him, blinking every so often to try and keep away the growing tears. He would choose Chunae over you. Of course. You should have known. Everyone loved Chunae. Chunae deserved everyone’s love for how pretty, smart and proper she is. Of course Han Jisung would reject the sassy, immature and lazy (Y/N) (L/N) for a perfect woman like Chunae. You’re not a perfect woman. Not at all.

Not for Han Jisung.

It was then, at that moment of thoughts of Chunae and Jisung running through your head that you came to a sudden realization as you stared into Jisung’s worried eyes.

You’re in love with him.

You’re in love with Han Jisung. Your best friend.

“Get away from me,” you mumble.

“What…?” Jisung’s brows furrow.

“I said get away from me,” your broken voice whimpers out, “You make everything so much harder for me. Everything…” You shove away his hands and stand up, but Jisung is quick to scramble up and wrap his arms around your waist, his chest pressed against your back as his face burrows into your neck.

Your heart burns badly. It’s painful, too painful. You feel as though you’re going to collapse from how painful it is.

“Don’t go, yet. Please. You’re confusing me, (Y/N),” Jisung whispers into your neck, his warm breath sending tingles down your spine.

“No. I said get away from me,” you try and push him away, scooping your arms under his to try and push him away. But, Jisung is oddly persistent.

But, you eventually get away, grabbing your things and dashing off.

“No, (Y/N), wait! Please!” Jisung yells after you, but you're already to the building doors, throwing yourself into the building and dashing to the girl’s bathroom to recollect yourself.

And, thankfully, it’s empty. You throw your backpack down and lean against the sink. Finally, you let the tears fall. They fell down your cheeks fast and hot, the aching feeling of relief in your mind allowing you to breath slowly as the tears dripped mercilessly down your face, showing no signs of stopping.

You stared at yourself in the mirror as you cried. You were quiet. Making no sound other than sniffling here and there. You don’t even try to wipe away the tears that stain your face, too bothered and eager to cry to do so. Your eyes grow red and big, your cheeks reddening from the tears and your heart aching badly in your chest.

Once the thought of being in love with Han Jisung enters your mind, you look away from yourself. Your head falling, and you grip your hair. Shaking your head in your arms, Letting out muffled, “No, no, no!”s as you started to weakly, softly sob. Your body trembles with your tears.

You can’t be in love with Han Jisung. It’ll only end in your heartbreak. Jisung will cut things off immediately, and probably push you away once he finds out. You can’t for the life of you let him find out. You’re too scared to tell him yourself, so you have to keep it a secret from anyone who might be able to tell him and have him believe it. It’s too risky, so you’d have to keep this painful secret to yourself, no matter how badly you wanted to babble on and on about how much you hate this feeling and about how good he makes you feel, emotionally and physically.

You didn’t say a word to anyone after your short breakdown in the bathroom. You soon grew too tired to cry, and too stressed to go back to class, so you waited out that period before your lunch hour would come by. You didn’t know where to go. There would be girls hogging the bathroom, and hundreds of other students roaming the campus. You really didn’t want to be around people at this point, but you didn’t have much of a choice in the first place.

So, you went to the courtyard. You called Christopher, telling him about what happened, and he said he was going to be there right away and to meet him by the outdoor canteen. So, you sat at an empty table, waiting.

You scrolled mindlessly through your phone, wearing a blank, stoic expression as nothing was present in your all — too tired mind. Your backpack resting against your leg as you waited.

When you hear loud footsteps coming near, you look up. Not expecting who it was at first. It’s Chunae, and she looks on edge and upset. Her perfectly tinted lips frown darkly at you, and she stops in front of you.

“And where were you last class period?” She asks, and you raise your brow, turning off your phone and resting it on the table.

“Not there? Why do you care?” You scowl back at her, staring up at her with a dark glare. However, she doesn’t seem to back down, only to get angrier.

“I was supposed to give you more papers for people to contact, as well as parents and volunteers,” she throws a stack of papers in front of you. And you gawk at it. She already gave you so much shit to do beforehand, why the hell is she giving you more? You already have enough work, she should know that. She knew as well as the rest how busy political students are. And she had the audacity to throw a stack of papers on your desk and demand you to analyze and contact each person? “I want them done by this weekend, no exceptions.”

“You don’t get to decide that, Chunae,” You scoff, smiling bitterly at her. Your own anger rising, “I already have enough shit from the other stack of documents you thrusted down my throat on top of my school work. I’m not doing all this shit in less than a week!” You nearly yell, but you don’t raise your voice too much. You thrust an angry finger at the stack.

“Listen, (Y/N),” Chunae sighs, “I’m not in the best of moods right now. I don’t want to deal with bullshit right now when we’re on a tight schedule. This event is in danger of being shut down completely if we don’t finish it soon.”

“And does it look like I give two shits?” You sarcastically smile.

“Don’t joke with me, (Y/N), and please control your language. It’s giving me a headache.”

“Oh, boo — hoo,” you roll your eyes, leaning back in your chair, “What do you want? A cookie?”

“Don’t, (Y/N). I swear.” Chunae vaguely threatens, and you smirk.

“You swear what?” You urge, standing up slowly. Taking a step towards her, and she takes a small one back. Her expression doesn’t change. Her dead, yet beautiful brown eyes glaring into yours, “What’ll you do? Give me more paperwork? Tell me off to Daddy? Punch my teeth in?” You glare down at her hand, cocking a snarky brow at it before glaring at her, “I’d like to see you try to lay a finger on me.”

“Like you could do any better,” Chunae snaps, and you’re surprised how she’s snapping back instead of de — escalating the situation. It makes you excited. The urge to punch her only grew, “Your words are louder than your actions, (Y/N). Don’t underestimate me.”

You laugh loudly, “Ha! That’s funny! You… scary? Hey, I give an A- for effort, how about it?” You elbow her arm jokingly before turning back to glare through the paperwork she so selfishly threw your way.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” Chunae snaps.

“You forget who’s older.”

“You forget who has Han Jisung.”

You freeze. The paper falling out of your hand as you turn slowly to see a smirking Chunae. Smiling as though she killed off her worst enemy. Your mouth falls open, and you scoff.

“What… the fuck did you just say?” You grumble darkly, her hands balling into fists at your sides.

“I said… You forget who has Han Jisung,” she repeats slowly.

You had heard her loud and clear. Just like you heard Jisung when he confessed his adoration for Chunae. You were just in shock. You did not expect this out of someone like her. And, just like that, all your respect was lost for the woman. She crossed a border she could never escape. She’s crossed a line she can never retract over. She’s pushed buttons inside you that can’t be fixed.

“I dare you to say that again.” You growl through gritted teeth, and in the corners of your eyes, you can see Christopher walking up. But, a small crowd had started to watch you and Chunae. He stops by them, deciding not to intervene physically.

“(Y/N)?” Christopher yells, and you turn your head to him. “Is…” He grows silent when he sees your angry glare.

You turn back to Chunae, Christopher watching silently, prepared if anything happens. He pulls out his phone, and presses a few buttons before pressing it to his ear. Speaking to the person on the other line under his breath. You could care less, though, and you mainly focused on Chunae.

“I said I dare you to say that again!” You finally yell, and the people in the canteen grow silent. All heads turning to the both of you, and Christopher continues talking on the phone to whoever it is. Your hand flies up, gripping the hem of Chunae’s blouse. Pulling her intimidatingly close. You’re slightly taller than her, so she looked up at you.

Chunae only chuckles softly, “I have Han Jisung… He’s mine, isn’t he?”

As if on cue, your fist, knuckling white from clenching it so hard, comes into contact with Chunae’s cheek right as an out of breath Han Jisung comes running to the scene. But, you’re too busy to pay him any mind.

Of course, like you expected, Chunae flies to the ground. Immediately cupping her face and letting out a brief cry. And, just like that, you’re the bad guy. You sigh and roll your eyes. Shaking off your hand, which aches slightly from the impact on her defined cheekbone. You turn to Christopher and Jisung. Jisung stands there, staring between you and Chunae, who lay on the ground, holding her black and blue face. Christopher just gawks at you.

“What the fuck, (Y/N)?!” Jisung yells.

“Hey, before you overreact, I can explain…”

But, you’re quickly cut off when you feel a yank at your ankle, and you let out a yelp as you get yanked down. Your body yanked down, and the top of your head slams against the table you were sitting out, letting out a loud thunk through the air. And, you can briefly see Jisung trying to run up, but Christopher holds him back briefly.

Your hand flies up to your head, dizziness overtaking you as your mind falls blank for a second. Your head begins to throb, and you hiss through your teeth. However, you’re not gifted with enough time to get over the pain like Chunae did before she towers over you. Her high heels are kicked off, and she presses the ball of her foot into your chest, forbidding airway.

You’re a little too dizzy to think, but you’re conscious enough to react. Your hand flies up on instinct, your hands gripping her ankle and twisting it with your hands, causing her to fall. Before she could have time to get back up, you climb back on top of her and straddle her stomach.

She kicked and struggled, but your hands gripped her wrists (all too familiar with this position with the help of Jisung), pinning them to the ground. Your head aches, throbbing painfully. You’re still dizzy, trying to stay conscious from both the lack of sleep and from your head hitting the table.

“Hey! Hey, calm down. Just, oh fuck, my head. Oh, my god, Chunae, what the fuck is wrong with you?” You grumble as you squeeze your eyes shut, as if that would ease the pain. But, it doesn’t.

Jisung and Christopher eventually come over. Jisung’s arms wrap around you, just below your breasts as he pulls you off. You don’t struggle, but Chunae does. Christopher struggles pulling Chunae away, who still tries to pummel you.

She got a good hit on you. But it wasn’t really her. She just yanked your ankle, which threw your head against the table. You melted into Jisung’s arms, and he helped you to your feet carefully. Every movement made your headache worse. It blistered your head, sending shots of pain through your body. You tried your best to stay conscious, but it was a bit more difficult than one might seem. So, you focused on the way Jisung’s hands held you to try and keep you awake.

You faintly heard a teacher running over, asking about what the hell was going on. Jisung excused him, saying that there was a fight but it’s been handled and he’s taking you to the nurse’s office. So, the professor let you and Chunae go without much argument (probably not wanting to deal with something like this in the middle of the day.

But, Jisung didn’t take you to the nurse’s office. Christopher did, though, dragging a struggling Chunae away to the nurse’s office with no help. Jisung whispered incoherent words to you as one of his hands gripped your waist, the other holding your hand as you stumbled on your own two feet. Your vision blurred and your stomach erupted in pain. You had a concussion, all because Chunae as able to swipe at your ankle.

You were in too much pain to think clearly, hanging onto Jisung, “Ji… my head hurts so fuckin’ bad.” Your words are muffled by the lump in your throat that grew from the pain.

“I know, baby. She got you pretty good, didn’t she,” Jisung’s soft words seem to calm your head a bit, but it goes away the moment your foot plants on the ground to take another step, “It’s alright… I’m sure she wasn’t in a good mood, that’s all.”

“Shut up,” you grumble out, and Jisung sighs softly, squeezing your waist briefly as he walks you through a pair of doors and down a hall.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). Let’s not talk about Chunae right now. Let’s just get you to rest for a bit,” Jisung reassured, and you thanked whatever god is out there that he’ll shut up about Chunae.

“Where’re we goin’?” You look around, squinting through your blurred vision, as if that’d help (news flash; it didn’t).

“Back to my dorm,” Jisung answers, and you turn to him, “Jeongin isn’t back, yet, so don’t worry. Besides, we have better shit than the nurse will give you. She’ll just give you an ice pack and tell you to move on with your day, now won't she?” You think about it for a moment, although nothing goes through your mind. But, you agree with him and nod slowly.

The rest of the walk is silent. Sometimes, you’d nearly trip over your own feet, but with Jisung’s hand on your waist, he always caught you and whispered words of reassurance that never truly got all the way through your brain. Eventually though, you both made it to Jisung’s dorm. He unlocked it with one hand easily and threw the white door open. Not bothering to flick on the light before he walked in, kicking the door closed, and sat you on his bed.

Once you sat down, you felt like you’d been holding the world on your shoulders. You got a bit of relief since you weren’t moving around as much, but it still hurt like a bitch. Your head throbbed, everywhere. Your body twitched in pain. You couldn’t think straight nor could you see especially clearly, and you felt like you were about to throw up all of the coffee and tea you’d had this morning.

Jisung shuffled through one of his drawers before pulling out a first aid kit. He took his chair from his desk and rolled it in front of you, sitting on it and placing the first aid kit in his lap before opening it. “Dad always said to keep it handy. Turns out it’s finally coming to good use. I just need to see if there’s a wound on your head.”

And, so, without struggle, you lay forward, your head resting on Jisung’s knee as he gently moved your hair to the sides, looking for something. He did end up finding a bruise on the top of your head and said that it would be best to leave it alone for the time being before icing it. He gave you a few pills of over the counter medication to help ease the pain. But, he seemed a bit conflicted. It was mostly silent, you didn’t really talk since you didn’t have the strength to nor the will to. Chunae might be pretty weak, but with a blow to your head on the table like that… that’ll fuck you up real good.

Once you’re laying against his pillows, Jisung finally pipes up again.

“Come here.”

“Hmm?” You look up, and Jisung’s legs are spread slightly, one hand on his thigh as he looked over to you. His hair shadowing his eyes slightly.

“I said come here, now don’t be stubborn,” He motions you over with his hand, and you groan and squeeze your eye shut as you sit up and slide off of the bed and walk up to him. Jisung guides you around and slowly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

“Jisung?” You mumble softly.

“Shh… This is going to help you with the pain, baby,” Jisung whispers against your ear, and you feel his press a gentle kiss to the back of your ear. You breathe in sharply, somewhat knowing where this is going as Jisung’s hand grips at your shirt. “It’ll make your head feel so much better, baby. I’ll make you feel good, alright?”

“Mm… how would that help?” You sighed out, your head already leaning onto Jisung’s shoulder, your eyes closing in relaxation as Jisung’s hands caressed your stomach, nearing both your breasts and your womanhood, but not daring to go near just yet.

“It’ll make all your muscles relax. It’ll make you feel better,” Jisung whispers into your ear, making you shiver, “Don’t you want that? You want me to touch you, babygirl?”

You can’t think straight. All morality and logic is thrown out your mental window, so you nod quickly without thinking. One your hands swiping up to caress Jisung’s neck as he pressed a few light kisses to your ear. “Alright, (Y/N). My sweet baby. Just relax for me, alright?” The praise makes butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you nearly forget that he’s only your friend. Your legs spread slightly, your back pressing to his chest. Letting him hold your weight. “That’s my good girl. My perfect (Y/N).”

His. His perfect (Y/N). Those words made you happy, oh so happy. Even if a thought couldn’t bear to finish in your head, you still enjoyed such words. It’s a break from the name calling and the dirty talk. It made you feel like the only girl in the world. Like Chunae was never a part of the picture to begin with.

Jisung’s hands slowly unbutton your jeans, his lips still pressing kisses to the side of your neck and your ear. Occasionally whispering short sentences like, “Good girl… That’s right… Oh, baby…” It makes you squirm in his grasp as he undoes your jeans and pushes them off of you. You weakly lift up your hips to help him a little bit as Jisung lets your pants fall to the ground with a low thud. You press your ass against Jisung, your leg spreading a bit more at the feeling of the cold air of the dorm meeting your clothed womanhood, which got wetter by the second.

You let your head lift, resting your head against Jisung’s cheek to let it rest, but you wanted to watch his hands as they softly caressed your thighs. Sending calming chills through your legs and your gut as his warm hands touched your thighs and hips ever so intimately. You melted into his touch, your lips parting to allow your low breaths to become audible. You could feel Jisung’s breath against your ear and your neck, and your neck craned slightly to feel more of it.

“You’re so beautiful, (Y/N), you know that?” Jisung’s low, sudden voice sent butterflies exploding in your stomach. You whimpered softly in response, not knowing how to respond to such praise, since Jisung was quite the degrader. He’d usually call you all sorts of dirty things. He’s probably taking pity on you since you’re hurt, but it doesn’t matter. It still makes you feel so happy and so turned on. “My beautiful baby…” Jisung whispers, seemingly to himself as his fingers brush over your clothed cunt.

“Jisunggie… don’t talk nonsense,” you utter out, sharply gasping when you feel the base of his fingers press against your clothed labia.

“What nonsense?” Jisung chuckles deeply, his fingers rubbing slowly circles, making your eyes close in bliss and your head rest against Jisung’s shoulder, your hands gripping the arms of the desk chair as Jisung’s other hand squeezes your inner thigh. “Don’t say that it’s nonsense. You’re only lying to yourself.”

You didn’t respond, basking in the pleasure and praise as Jisung’s experienced fingers rubbed along your clothes labia. Soaking your panties through with your juices (yet another pair of perfectly good underwear ruined by Jisung), the outline of your pussy showing through and letting Jisung touch even more sensitive areas.

He goes for a while without actually touching your bare womanhood. Mainly his index and middle finger rubbing and massaging your labia and over your pussy. Jisung’s eyes focused on his hands as he worked them over you. You feel yourself relax, the pain easing from you. You forget about the headache, the dizziness. The nausea and the aching throughout your body; forgotten. All that’s on your mind is how intimately Jisung touches you. How his experienced hands move over your sensitive pussy in such a delicate, yet firm way. So gentle, yet so emphatic.

So loving, yet so bitterly resistant.

Your mind grows blank. Too caught up in the relaxing pleasure and from overcoming your concussion to think straightly. All that keeps your mind wandering is Jisung and Jisung alone. Not Christopher. Not the man, Jeongguk, that you met at the coffee shop. Not even Chunae. Only Han Jisung.

After long minutes of slowly teasing your cunt, soaking your panties with your wetness, Jisung finally bids you one good deed and taps your hip. Guiding you to raise it as he slips them off slowly. Letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor below. You step out of them. Your bottom half now completely exposed, yet you still wear all that’s on your torso. You didn’t care, though. It was better than being fully clothed, anyways.

“Oh, fuck…” Jisung breaths out in a rugged manner as his fingers slowly brush over the lips of your pussy, your sweet wetness seeping from you, already coating Jisung’s fingertips, “You’re so wet for me, baby. So wet for me. It makes me want to fuck you so hard. You’d like that wouldn’t you?” You frantically nod against Jisung’s head, watching as his fingers push against your labia and against your core. Firmly pressing against your clit, and your back arches as you grind your hips on his fingers. “But, I won’t. Not yet, anyways. I’m going to make you feel better, not make you scream and give you a headache all over again.”

Jisung chuckles deeply, as if what he just said was nothing more than a joke, but you didn't laugh along. He doesn’t seem to care, though, since you’re obviously so immersed in the way Jisung’s fingers rub your pussy gently. His lips part slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck as his middle finger teases your entrance.

“Jisung, ahh~... Yes, please, just like that…” you whisper out in sharp breaths as Jisung slowly inserts his middle finger into you. Pumping slowly until his knuckles are pressed against your heat. “Fuck, yes… Love your fingers so much, Jisung - ah.”

“I know, baby,” Jisung tenses below you at your words, and his finger slightly curves inside you, making your leg twitch. But, his hand that caressed your thigh gripped your leg, keeping you steady on his lap. “I don’t usually get to finger you like this, do I? Letting my hands do all the work, hmm?”

No, he didn’t. But damn, you wanted him to more often. You didn’t answer, only with a delicate moan as Jisung’s middle finger slowly pumps itself in and out of you. Curving slightly every time it thrusted into you to hit that special spot. Sending chills through your torso as his finger worked inside you so well. Your walls clench around him, despite how he was going slow. It wasn’t painfully slow, but not enough to make you cum quick enough. It’s a slow burn. Slowly building up your sensitivity as his palm pressed against your clit.

“You take my fingers so well, (Y/N) - ah… You’re always so good for me, aren’t you?” Jisung comments, his voice low, yet gentle. Soft to the ear, and not as aggressive and dark as it tended to be during sex. It sent you on an overdrive. It drove you crazy by just his tone of voice. It made your heart ache and your pussy wetter and wetter. “You don’t know how hard this is for me, baby…”

Oh, you knew. You can feel his hard dick pressing against your ass. The only thing keeping you two apart was his few articles of clothing. But, no matter what he was wearing, you could still feel how he ached underneath you. You mentally applauded him, but you were too lost in the lust to actually bid him something of a congratulations for being able to hold back this long (since he was usually pretty desperate to get his dick inside you).

It’s another minute or so until Jisung pushes in another finger. Slowly stretching you out and making you moan even louder. The way his fingers curled ever so slightly inside you, hitting that special spot over and over again drove you insane. His fingers pressing against it firmly with the tips of it. Your mind hazed with lust and desire, and your craving for him grew even bigger and even more intense.

“Shit, Jisung - ah… That feels so good ~,” you moan out as you meet with Jisung’s knuckles, grinding into his fingers.

“Hmm… does it, baby? You feel good?” You nod slowly to his words, and Jisung breathily chuckles, smiling, “See? I said it would help.”

“I don’t care about that…'' you sigh out softly, although it wasn’t entirely the truth and you were thankful that Jisung’s suggestion was able to subside your headache. “I want you to fuck me dumb, Jisung. I want to think about nothing but you.”

Jisung’s fingers stay inside you, his hand pressed against your throbbing pussy as he looks at your face. You already looked so fucked out. So desperate, your eyes craving and needy. “Are you sure?”

You slowly nod, turning your head and pressing a kiss to his lips briefly. It wasn’t too sloppy, but your tongue brushed over his lips, “Yes, Jisung… I want you to make me your bitch…”

“Oh, sweet, sweet (Y/N)...” Jisung chuckles darkly, his hand pulling itself from your pussy, making you twitch and gasp loudly as his wet hand flies up to grip your cheeks. Pushing your head back slightly as his fingers press into your jaw, holding your head in place as you clenched around nothing. Your pussy craves both release and Jisung ever so badly.

“You were my bitch since the beginning,” Jisung’s voice grows familiarly dark, and you try to clamp your legs shut from the chills that run through your womanhood. But, Jisung’s hand yanks your legs apart. “Keep your legs spread for me. I’m going to fuck you until you’re begging for me to stop.”

You let out a breathy moan, and, at first, you thought Jisung was going to pull you into a kiss. But, he didn’t. He chose a rougher path. He quickly pushes you off of him. Standing up and pushing you face first onto the bed. The back of his hand pushing your face down into the sheets, the other guiding your hips up slowly. Spreading your legs for him. Such a dirty position, your dripping pussy on display for no one other than Han Jisung.

But, he doesn’t spend much time staring at your pussy. Instead, his hands grip your wrists, and he grinds his clothed, hard cock against your wet pussy. He let out a breathy moan, leaning over your so he was next to your ear as he whispered, “You see how hard you make me, (Y/N)? You see you fucking riled up you make me? Makes me want to fuck this pussy all damn day. Have you sit on my cock all fucking day, huh?”

You moan out in response, your hair spread as your hoodie fell down. Your bra is slightly exposed, and Jisung pulls himself up. Basically ripping off your bra and tossing it to the side. Not even bothering with the hoodie itself as he tore down his jeans.

You couldn’t watch him, so you knew he was fully exposed when you heard the snap and fall of his boxers. It’s almost an instant when his throbbing head comes out and presses against your pussy. Your lips fall wide open as Jisung rubs his cock over your soaking pussy.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so wet for me,” Jisung moans out lowly, “So ready for my cock, like always. So desperate for me. So needy for me cock, aren’t you? Already so fucked out and I haven’t even put my dick inside you yet. Such a slutty girl…”

You moan out, your back arching, presenting yourself more to him, “Jisung! Jisung, please just fuck me…! I need it so bad, please…So bad…” You breath out rapidly, clutching the sheets.

Jisung lets out a shaky breath in response to your begging, “Since you asked so nicely…”

And, like an instant, Jisung was inside you. His hips pressed against your ass, his hands guiding your hips back to meet with his. You let out loud strings of moans and groans of Jisung’s name and incoherent words as Jisung fucks himself into you, raw. His dick throbs inside your wet walls. You clench around him desperately, your back falling limp as you succumb to the pleasure.

“Oh, fuck, (Y/N), you do so well in this po-position, don’t you?” Jisung breathes out raggedly, and you moan loudly in response. Jisung’s hands harshly gripping your hips and waist to have you meet back with his harsh, aggressive thrusts. His cock burns your hot walls, burning in such a blissfully good way, it makes your eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Ji-Jisunggie -ah… It’s so… so good - oh, fuck! Just like that, please, just like that!” You scream out as Jisung props up one of his legs, allowing him to have a better angle to thrust even faster and harder. Ramming his rock hard dick into you with passion. Jisung’s hands trail around your waist and ass once you’ve started to bounce back, meeting with his thrusts on your own.

His hands knead your ass. Spreading your cheeks before firmly pressing them. One of his hands, however, reaches up. Slowly crawling up your back, and his hips stagger a bit as his hands grip a handful of your hair. First, his hand merely presses against your head. But, at some point, he yanks you head back. Forcing you up from the bed, and you use your weak arms as support as Jisung’s hand yanks at your hair. You stare at the wall, but you don’t focus on it. You can’t. Your eyes keep rolling back or crossing, mixing beautifully with your loud moans.

Jisung uses the grip on your hair to give him a steadier rhythm as he thrusted into you. His hips slapping against your ass, making it bounce with every thrust. The sounds of skin slapping, your loud moaning and Jisung’s groans and occasional dirty talk filled the room as Jisung pressed wet kisses to your neck. Suckling on the back of your neck especially, and you moan from the feeling of his tongue being flushed against your sweating skin.

It was so much, his cock, the pulling of your hair and his tongue on your neck. Your mind falls blank, thinking of nothing other than Jisung’s cock. Some drool dribbles down the side of your chin as your eyes water from the pleasure. You can’t say anything more, not even being able to form Jisung’s name correctly. You’re so fucked out, so beautifully fucked out.

Jisung definitely noticed it, too, since it gave him the courage to start biting your sensitive skin. It was more sensitive in some places, and you immediately knew that he left hickeys. He bite them gently, yet firmly before running his tongue over the markings.

Your pussy clenched around him dangerously tight. So tightly, it makes Jisung let out a low, broken moan and makes his hips stagger and twitch as he presses himself deep into you. “You’re gonna cum, aren’t you, babygirl? You gonna cum for me like the good little slut you are? Cum on my cock, (Y/N). Cum for me,” Jisung groans out loudly, pressing your head against the sheets again, muffling your loud moans as you feel your climax nearing.

Your knees buckle as your legs twitch and tense dangerously tightly as you feel yourself cum hard. Jisung slows down slightly, riding you out on your high. Your loud moans turn into high pitched ones as your back spasms from the intensity of it.

Right after you cum, Jisung quickly pulls out of you before shooting ropes of white cum onto your ass. You breathe heavily, trying your best to catch your breath as you listen to Jisung moan loudly once he cums, too. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you feel your entire body relax. All your muscles calm. Exhaustion washes over you like a tidal wave.

And you’re out like a light.

Jisung was a bit concerned as to why you fell asleep so easily. But, he didn’t argue. He gently cleaned you both up while you slept and changed you into a pair of his clothes after he realized you wouldn’t wake up even if he blew an air horn in your ear. He laid you in his bed, as comfortably as he could make you. He wiped the sweat off of your face and watched your sleeping face for a few minutes before he moved back to his desk, grabbing his laptop from his backpack and opening it. Opening work for his classes, since he’ll be absent for the rest of the day.

You slept exceptionally soundly, and he was thankful for that.

Jeongin actually came back that night, too. At first, he didn’t see you sleeping in Jisung’s bed, but once Jisung motioned for him to be quiet, Jeongin looked over to his bed to see locks of (H/C) hair poking out of the blanket. He wondered why you were here, and Jisung naturally just said that you had gotten into a fight and injured yourself and he was taking you in to take care of you. Jeongin didn’t argue much and minded his own business for the rest of the day.

However, Jisung intended to sleep next to you. But, he couldn’t bring himself to. The guilt piling inside him prevented him from doing so.

[scorpionyx9621]

Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

[orange-plum]

So I was commissioned by @andrastesassets to write about the scene in “Satan and Me” where Satan gives his wings away for Natalie, but from his POV. This was kinda a big turning point as a wake-up call in the series for him, as you’re probably aware if you’ve read past that point and seen him be more open with his feelings and such. Anyway, it was a fun little thing to explore (yes, this is canon thoughts of his). I never expected to be commissioned to explore deeper into a canon of my stories that hasn’t been put into words before with the images alone of the updates, but I’m def open to that in the future!

Without further ado, here you go.

The looming presence behind him paled in comparison to the disorienting lurch his stomach gave as he kneeled on the unwelcoming cement floor. Keeping his gaze down, concentrating on the little tremors of his arms holding him upright, Satan struggled to properly see through the fog of stress clouding his mind. Clouding his judgement.

Fuck, this wasn’t the right thing to do, was it? Was he being too hasty? Should he spring up and sprint out the door before he followed through with something he couldn’t come back from? This was definitely one of his more impulsive and reckless decisions he’d ever committed to. Nothing could truly be worth this kind of –

Satan’s hand twitched, starting to rise as nerves got the best of him, when a blur of orange and maroon hovered on the edge of his peripheral. For a brief moment, he found himself vaguely wondering what the smudge of color was in the expanse of drab brown walls and muted trim. 

Reality came crashing against him like an unforgiving tide for what seemed like the tenth time this morning. Sweat gathered at the base of his neck and he swallowed.

Satan returned his palm flat against the cement, locking his joints and muscles into place so that he would not stand up. His stomach did another discombobulated lurch.

Right. This was for Natalie. Natalie, who had no right looking so gray, Father, she was like a corpse.

She is a corpse! His mind howled the confirmation at him, leaving his breaths shallow in his welling panic.

Yes, that was true. It had been true for hours now, yet, somehow, the complete depth of what that really entailed eluded him in his denial. How could she be dead when she had talked to him only moments ago? Human’s lives had always felt fleeting, but had any ever felt quite this temporary before? 

Less than a year they had been together . . . How had she burrowed this deeply under his skin? When? Satan tried to conjure a memory to pinpoint the exact moment Natalie had become a constant in his life as he bore his back to Death and Pestilence. In the end, it was fruitless. Between his ears remained endless static.

The tension in the air was suffocating. His arms trembled, but he kept his jaw clenched.

He would give them no further satisfaction when taking the last bit of value he still possessed of his former self. They would not see him fall apart at their feet. That could come later, when left in the privacy of this cold, dreary room, where he could lick his wounds and recover in peace.

He was still Lucifer, the Morning Star and omen of destruction to all who opposed him, wings or not.

But, fuck . . . Father, he would prefer to keep his wings.

Somehow, boneless and lightheaded from the trauma of the morning, Satan noticed, with a small sense of intrigue, that his back actually felt heavier now that it was empty. How was that possible? 

The long gashes where the trunks had been swiftly carved open spewed boiling trails of lava down his skin, soaking into the hem of his robe and pooling Great Lakes onto the floor. Energy had left in his limbs the moment the numbing kiss of Death’s blade breached his muscles.

On wobbling legs, Satan rose in his shock and joined Natalie at her side. He carefully reached toward her, gliding the tips of his fingers against her ashen cheek, almost afraid to touch, because she looked exactly the same. What the hell? She looked no different than when she had been splayed out like a weathered ragdoll amongst her bedsheets at sunrise, goddamnit. 

Before he could garner enough strength to turn on his company and spew venom and vitriol from his lips, Satan froze. Warmth wafted over his fingers under her nose as he lowered his hand. Closer inspection revealed the gentle rise and fall of her chest. The nauseating cramping in his stomach abated so suddenly, he almost keeled over right then and there.

“Give it a few minutes,” Death commented over his shoulder, as if reading his mind. There was no longer a smile in his voice, his face a neutral mask as Satan glanced at him with gritted teeth, the sight of his former pride being folded up and collected like loose laundry too much to bear. “It takes a little while for a soul to acclimate into their body after death. I assure you, her color and liveliness will rekindle when she wakes up.”

Through the haze, Satan vaguely realized he must’ve been making some type of suspicious face when Death suddenly snorted and shook his head, his eyes gleaming. “For all we’ve been acquainted, Lucifer, you should know I’m not one to break my word. Give my regards to little Natalie when she rejoins the land of the living, won’t you. As always, it’s been a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you and your brother again when the time comes for your big day.”

With the room empty, peppered only with the soft sounds of Natalie’s breaths and the distant echoes of Death’s laughter down the desolate hallway, the elephant in the room was no longer avoidable. Satan slumped against a wall, transfixed by the rise and fall of the chest beside him. Even more so as the rosiness began to fill Natalie’s cheeks the longer she breathed life into her form.

His previous adrenaline had left him a hollow puppet, now that there was no longer the turbulent cocktail of anxiety and doubt weighing on his shoulders. Satan allowed himself to drift to the floor, lying beside the only person he had ever met who had compelled him to do something so utterly foolish. Jesus, her daredevil stunts to ground him at his lowest points seemed to have rubbed off on him, and likely not for the better.

Satan’s wounds throbbed at the edges, a constant reminder of the magnitude of what he had just done.

Don’t think about it, his mind lethargically reminded. What’s done is done, so don’t start regretting it now.

“Prophecy child, huh . . . ” Satan muttered, his arm leveraged under his head like a makeshift pillow. The light cascading through the windows almost seemed to light up Natalie’s hair in its luminescence. Amongst the carnage splattered around them from his sacrifice, she was ethereal and without blemish.

He had found out about the Child of Prophecy by chance, becoming enraged at the notion of being kept in the dark so late in the game. Natalie’s existence had changed from an everyday annoyance to one of unbearable burden.

She had the power to sway him? To sway his empire and everything he worked for? A being like that, who would steal his autonomy or cast him spellbound, was too dangerous to fraternize with. There was just too much on the line to risk throwing away for some goofy, loud-mouthed human without an ounce of self-preservation.

And so Satan had done the only logical thing he could think of at the time: He ran away, leaving her with that pitiful, crumpled face as he rejected her in that inconsequential Oregon town. The less time he spent with her, the better off he’d be.

Only . . . That had not played out as he’d hoped. Watching Natalie disappear over the side of a bridge had been like a bolt of electricity coursing through his body. That she would see him as the monster that he was, a grotesque monstrosity that even Michael had recoiled from, and attempt to help him, regardless? Well . . . Perhaps there was more to Natalie McAllister than he had originally considered. He’d cradled her close and winced while he repaid her kindness by accidentally boiling her alive.

Oregon was a wake-up call.

Natalie had piqued his curiosity, her smiling reassurance that she didn’t befriend monsters jumpstarting the heart in his chest that he had presumed stopped functioning centuries ago. Not only that, but he had no way of knowing he would soon find out that running toward the very man attacking her and her cowardly little friend, despite the blatant terror in her eyes, was only the tip of the iceberg.

“Oh,” Satan muttered, something foreign flooding into his chest, emotion catching in his throat as he stared at Natalie’s slumbering form.

Silencing Hell for him at the cost of her soul . . . 

Calling him her guardian angel. Crying, not for fear of Hell, but for fear of being separated from his company . . . 

As much as he wanted to deny it, the fondness in Natalie’s eyes as she smiled at him was undoubtedly genuine. She really did seem to look at him like he hung the stars above her head.

“I love you, Lucifer. I’m glad I got to meet someone like you.”

Satan trembled, unable to properly sort through the sensations overflowing from his chest as Natalie’s eyelashes began to flutter. Champagne bubbles tickled his stomach, and though not required to breathe to live, he felt so remarkably breathless at once.

So that’s what this is, Satan distantly thought, watching pale eyelashes finally parting to reveal a cognizant gaze, blinking against the trickle of sunlight warming her cheeks. When meeting Natalie’s eyes, he couldn’t keep the smile of relief from his face.

Satan understood that he had never experienced this before, but he somehow knew what to latch onto in his jumbled mind with unquestionable conviction.

I love her.