#and you make yourself strong as hell and you RUN after your goals like they can save you

[rubyintheskywithdiamonds]

apparently "being like Roy Mustang" is not a healthy way to deal with your problems. Who knew? Certainly not me, and certainly not Roy Mustang.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I think Crowley falls into two of the classic pitfalls of people who see that the problems are systemic long before anyone else around them does: impatience and despair.

(Yes yes I know, “Crowley was an optimist.” Book Crowley is an optimist. I don’t think that line is particularly useful for analyzing TV Crowley. Stay with me here.)

Let it be said that 95% of the time, Crowley has the patience of a fucking saint (ssh don’t tell him) around Aziraphale. He knows that Aziraphale needs to build his little plausible deniability rationales in order to do something that they both know he wants to do (because it’s right or simply because he would enjoy it) but Heaven wouldn’t approve of. And most of the time, Crowley is happy to help Aziraphale get there, asking the questions Aziraphale is afraid to ask, offering excuses and justifications until Aziraphale finds one he can accept. He does a lot of work of parsing out when “no” means “you haven’t convinced me yet, keep trying” and pushing through all the “I’m an angel, you’re a demon, we’re on opposite sides and mine is the good one” talk that Aziraphale gets up to all the way through s1. Because he knows that Aziraphale doesn’t really believe that stuff, right? He just needs some time to talk himself around his own cognitive dissonance, and most of the time Crowley is not only happy to facilitate that but sees it as part of his role in their relationship.

But then when the chips are down and Aziraphale is still dithering, that’s when he gets frustrated, because HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE what’s been blindingly obvious to Crowley for millennia, that Heaven is just as cruel as Hell and no one is going to step in and fix it because the system is working as intended. And that’s when he says things like “how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?” Which is a surefire way not to convince the person you’re arguing with of anything.

And then there’s the despair. I really think the running away thing is not about cowardice or selfishness or some kind of unhealthy level of avoidance of hard or scary things, but about hopelessness. They’ve spent their lives avoiding very very real danger, and of the two of them Crowley is much more constantly aware of the danger that they are in from both sides. Yes he’s hypervigilant but he is also almost always right about the amount of danger they are in. Trying to get as far away from danger as possible is not an irrational response, even if it’s not always the correct one for a given situation.

When you feel like you’re the only person who sees how rotten the system is, how it needs to be dismantled entirely, but you are also VERY aware of how strong the people in power are and how ruthless they are about crushing dissent because you experienced it personally…well that gets fucking depressing after a while. Because even if you think the whole system needs to go, that feels like a completely unattainable goal when it seems like no one else even sees the problem, or if they see it, they are too afraid to do anything about it. And can you blame them? You know exactly what happens to people who speak up.

So it’s very easy for your goals to shrink from systemic change to just taking yourself and the people you love and finding somewhere for them to be as safe as possible, for as long as the system will let you exist. Because reforming the system is a fool’s errand, and dismantling it entirely seems impossible. I think this is where Crowley is at. Even if on some level he knows it’s an imperfect solution, because both of them have enough compassion that they would feel guilty abandoning Earth and humans to save themselves, and because Heaven and Hell really can find them anywhere in the universe. He just doesn’t see another option.

And look, I think Aziraphale is 100% wrong that Heaven can be reformed. But he is not wrong to want to stay and fight to make things better, even if it means sacrificing the Earthly comforts he loves so much, and even if it means doing it without Crowley by his side.

Ultimately they both need each other. Aziraphale needs Crowley for his willingness to ask questions and to see the scale of the problem, even if it’s terrifying. But Crowley needs Aziraphale for his hope, his stubborn determination to believe things can and should be better, and to fight for that. In the right hands, hope is an enormously powerful weapon.

[biteofcherry]

I’m binge reading your masterlist and I have this idea of Alpha Ari and Omega Reader’s wedding day. They get in argument the day before about something and the whole event is just tense.

Hey there 😊 Thanks for sacrificing your time and binge reading my works 😅

The ceremony of their wedding/mating will be tense in general (for Omega), they don't need an extra argument happening for that. Though if anything of that kind was about to take place, it'd be because of Omega's spur of the moment idea to maybe try running away again:

Bad Moon Rising

alpha Ari Levinson x omega female reader

Your heart hammers in your chest as you nervously glance around, foot impatiently tapping as you curse the bus for taking so long to get to the stop you're waiting at.

A broad silhouette on the other side of the street flashes between speeding cars, terrifying you for a second. Another car passes and he's gone - the mirage of your alpha...

Not my fucking alpha! You remind yourself inwardly.

But you were his omega, weren't you?

Every shifter in the area knows of Ari's claim. Every wolf can smell his scent on you. Though they don't mean you harm, no one would dare help you out in your reckless, last-surge-of-desperate-hope decision to flee before the mating ceremony.

If anything, they'd point him where to aim his chase after you.

Because the hunt belongs to the alpha as well.

You're not sure where you got the courage to try escaping, again. In the past weeks you somehow settled into the prospect of becoming his, accepted it. And Ari isn't bad. Not really.

Beside the stubborn determination to bind you to him, he's a nice, caring man. Witty and funny. You parents certainly don't mind him as their son in law.

He would care for you, you know that. Provide anything you, or your future children might need. Encourage you to stick to your goals, as long as they didn't steal you away from him. Hell, he mentioned getting you a new laptop, since the classes you start in a month are supposed to be online.

So why do you want to run? Is it the desire to be chased, which Ari loves to fulfill as it feeds his own dark hunger for hunting?

Well, you'd give him a serious mind-twist choosing a bus as a part of your escape. Your scent trail would cut that way, making it all the more harder.

You chance a look across the street again. No looming danger awaits there, people pass by, no one interested in you with your small backpack.

Before a sigh of relief fully leaves your chest, a large hand encircles the front of your neck. A broad, sturdy body presses against your back; strong arm settling across your midriff to keep you locked in place.

"The only reason my teeth aren't in your gland and you're not squirming on my knot this very second, is that I'm so fucking respectful of our traditions."

Ari's deceivingly soft, low purr sinks into your ear.

"I don't mind giving a good chase, you know that little omega." His teeth graze your earlobe. "We can play like that after our wedding night."

"If you're able to move, that is." He chuckles, rocking his hips against your ass.

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons theme : self esteem (They having a partner with low self-steem)

Tw: self image, bodies, nsfw content Author's note : Hi everyone, I hope y'all are fine. It's been a while since I wanted to post about this topic and it's something that has probably been present in the lives of some people including me but the goal here is to encourage self-acceptance because we are all perfect in some way. A big hug from the writer🤗

-------------------------------------------------------

Shunsui :

He is very understanding and considerate of any issues you have had before or are having that you cannot resolve or even ask for help.

He wouldn't like to know that you have body insecuritiesor that you compare yourself to others sometimes. He thinks you're beautiful and perfect just the way you are and he won't let you feel insecure about it.

He would give you twice as many hugs and give you the triple the compliments he used to give you after you talk to him about it.

“Don't say that, my petal you are perfect, I love you” or “You look beautiful in any outfit” would be some of the things he would say to you frequently.

He would lay you down on his bed, naked and covered in petals as he kissed every inch of your body and showed you there was nothing wrong on it.

A real gentleman, isn't he?

Jushiro :

You already know that he has a soft personality like Shunsui but Jushiro turns out to be a little cuter.

He always puts you at ease when you want to tell him about something you're trying to get over and you know you can count on him for anything.

He regrets that you don't have his eyes to see how perfect and wonderful you are. He promises to stay by her side and help you.

"Don't be hard on yourself Y/n, you're beautiful" or "You don't need to change anything because you're perfect and I love you" would be words spoken by him.

He would hug you and probably take you in front of a mirror after taking off your clothes and run his hands over your body and dedicate the most beautiful words to every corner of it.

Take me to the thirteenth division now.

Kenpachi:

You already have an idea of what he's going to say about it.

He has a wild and strong personality and will use it to his advantage to resolve anything. He admires you a lot and when he finds out that you're feeling bad about your own body… He's definitely going to do something crazy...

He would probably ask if you're crazy for thinking that way, since you're perfect in his eyes, or if it was some idiot who made you think that way, because if it was, he'd cut his ass off.

"WHAT? What do you mean by insecurities? Have you seen yourself in the fucking mirror today?"

If not, he would put you on his shoulder and drag you into the bedroom, ripping the clothes off your body and fuck you in front of the nearest mirror until you completely change that idea. He loves every single one of those imperfections because it's those little imperfections that make you unique and special.

If he did that to me I would never have insecurities in my life again

Bottom line: He won't want to hear you say you don't like yourself because you're strong and hot as hell and he loves having someone strong by his side.

[outerbankspov]

Hi! I hope you are doing well!! How about a blurb where Rafe's girlfriend is really stressed about exams and wants to give up but Rafe says she can't and he bribes her with sex? Maybe something new she's been wanting to try out? Thank you so much!!!! 💕💕💕

word count- 900+ WARNING- SMUT! Sorry for posting now <3

Finals were coming in strong.. I mean 3 classes wants you to do a 5 page essay in a week?? You haven’t really had time for Rafe and friends more so yourself and you have been stressing yourself out. Rafe had let it be knowing how you get when people bother you when you are working but he’s had enough. Seeing his baby so stressed out made him stressed out and he needed to do something about it FAST!!

“Hey baby.” His soft voice relaxed the tension in your brain as you put your pencil down and looks towards him. “Hm?” You hum with tired eyes and smile. “How about you come and relax. Hm? Maybe run you a bath?” He tells me. Knowing him he’s gonna try to get me out from this bubble I’ve trapped myself in. “No it’s okay. I’m just… almost done. One more paper!” I say trying to convinced not only him but myself that I’m okay.

“Baby, you are tired. I can see that. Come over please” he tries again but I shake my head a blow him a kiss before getting straight back to work. I can feel him staring at me but I pay no attention to him, knowing that if I look I would fall for whatever trap he’s trying to put me in.

“Please” he whispers. I close my eyes at the way he said it. So soft and beautiful i almost fall for it. “I love you. But I really really need to get this done” I say before I get more distracted I leaned in the table and took my laptop out and finished half of it on there. After an hour I sigh.

“Rafe this is- so fucking exhausting. Can I just give up-” I try to say but he’s already up and walking to me. “Not an option. Baby come on you made me realize that you need to get this done. You have a dream and goals so to make that happen you have to work for it. I know how brutal that sounds but it’s true.” I smile up at him and agree.

“I just- been doing this for so so long I’m just tired of it. Tired of being this way.” I wipe a tear from my eye and he gets down on his knees. “How about you take a break now and let me work you and those muscles of yours, let you try something you’ve always wanted to Try. How’s that sound?”

You're Not Sure if he noticed how your eyes got big and he smiles widely. “Really?” My voice was small and he chuckles. “Hell yeah what you wanna try?” you and Rafe had sex many times but he has NEVER given you head. it's not because he doesn't want to.. he really does, like really really does but you wasn’t ready… now since he mentioned things you’ve always wanted to try in your both sex lives.

"Can you baby.. give me head?" you say in a small voice. his eyes almost came out. "my baby wants me to eat her out? you're so dirty" he groans and picks you up, laying you flat on our bed and kissing your stomach as lowers your shorts and panties. he smirks and opens your legs to see a wet mess between them. "look at you" he stares in awe like he’s never seen anything like this before. “You ready baby?” He asks looking up at you, leaning his chin on your thighs. You let out a breath and nod. “Words” he raises his brow and smirks. You moan out at that and mumble a “please” he kisses your pussy and you watch closely. “Rafe,” she says already out of breath. “Do your worst” his eyes grew darker and he licks a long swipe up your pussy, you let out a ruin moaned and he smirked. glad that he can finally taste you, he's been wanting to for so long! "Rafe baby, that feels so good."

He sucks her clit Into his mouth and moans which sends vibrations all over her body. making her hips thrust up. "daddy's got you" he says Calmly. you clench around his fingers and he laughs, making your cheeks turn red. "looks like someone has a daddy kink" he smirks. he's so cocky you love and hate it. he pulls back and looks into your eyes, his dark blue. "you trust me?" he asked softly, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. "always" you say without hesitation. he nods and looks down at your wet pussy and licks his lips before spitting on it and kissing your clit softly before devouring you.

A choke-up moan escaped your mouth as you wrap your legs around his shoulders, he pulls you closer and smirks when he hears your moans, knowing that you are about to cum. "cum for me baby, I can feel it" and you did, you cum so hard you see white and your moans are so loud you're sure the whole block can hear you. "shit Rafe" he pulls away after cleaning you up and smirks. "how'd I do?" you roll your eyes and pulls your underwear up before crawling to him and sitting on his lap. "please do that to me every night for the rest of our lives Rafe Cameron" you say with a smirk. "hell yeah" he kisses your lips and you begin to grind on him. "my turn" you smirk.

[lunarfleur]

Don’t Touch Our Goalie ~ Dean Portman and Fulton Reed

Tagging: @collieflower215 @juneberrie @whyareyouhere66 @sluggmuffin

Warnings:Fighting, cursing.

Summary: Dean and Fulton will never tolerate someone laying their hands on their favorite goalie

This is x male! Reader!

Hockey was an aggressive sport. You knew that. Hockey players could be aggressive. You knew that, too. Hockey could be unfair. You knew that better than anything else about the sport.

It was one single save that set him off. You were a good goalie, there wasn’t anything that could make you believe otherwise. But, sometimes, even after the whistle gets blown, players can act as if they have unfinished business.

The player from the other team had heard the whistle, the one that marked the end of the game, but he approached you anyway. He cursed and yelled at you. You stood up straight, puffing out your chest like Dean told you to-make yourself look bigger. But he put his hands on you anyway, grabbing you by the cloth of your jersey and sending you skidding back into your own goal. You heard-and felt-the clang of the metal against your helmet. A dull ache started in your shoulder, and you knew there was gonna be a bruise.

You felt a strong hand grab your arm, and there crouched Fulton. You hadn’t even noticed he and Dean had skated up. Both teams went quiet on the ice, watching the way Dean got into his face.

“Are you okay?” Fulton asked, soft as ever. He had taken his helmet off. His hair was drenched with sweat, his face bright red and glistening. Nodding, you let him pull you off the ice. He grabbed your helmet, gently pulling it off your head.

You hadn’t heard Dean use such inappropriate language on the ice in a long time. But that was the effect you had on him.

“Who the fuck do you think you, are anyway?” Your boyfriend barked. His voice was getting higher and higher every second, the way it did whenever he was angry. It didn’t take away his intimidating demeanor.

Dean gave him a shove, and the player backed into Fulton’s chest. Fulton still had a grip on your arm, he seemed content to never let go.

“Don’t touch our goalie,” Fulton scoffed. That was enough to get him to back off.

The way Fulton said it, “our goalie,” made it obvious who he was talking about. It wasn’t “our” as the team’s goalie, it was “our” as in their’s. You were their goalie: Fulton and Dean’s.

Fulton let go of your arm and it fell down to your side. Dean looked at you, eyebrow raised, before smiling brightly. You smiled back.

“Thanks, sunshine.” You winked playfully and basked in the way the both chuckled. You intertwined your fingers with Fulton’s and grabbed ahold of Dean’s wrist, leading them both off the ice.

The team was already in the locker room when you got in there.

“Everything okay?” Adam asked hesitantly. Fights during the game were totally normal, but none of them had ever seen Coach’s reaction to one afterwards.

“Yeah, fine,” Portman shrugged. Your locker sat directly in between Dean’s and Fulton’s, across from Ken’s.

You pulled off your jersey and pads and everything else that wasn’t necessary. You craned your body to look at your shoulder in the mirror, barely seeing the bright red mark that sat against the skin.

Dean grabbed your shoulder, a cocky grin on his face while she dug his fingers into the spot.

“That hurt?” He asked. You winced. It did.

“That’s gonna leave one hell of a mark,” Fulton told you, pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth. Dean, from behind you, pulled you against his chest. He kissed the top of your shoulder densely.

“Well, if he’s gonna be dating both of the Bash Brothers, he has to be able to handle a small bruise.”

“Dean, it’s the size of my hand,” you scoffed, prying away from his arms to run into Fulton’s. You pouted playfully, digging your face into Fulton’s shirt.

“You have small hands,” Portman shrugged jokingly.

Dean leaned in close to you, face inches away from yours, before he straightened back up and kissed Fulton’s cheek. He grinned, backing up and walking away.

“See you, I love you both,” he called, exiting the locker room.

You pouted for real this time, looking up at Fulton. He laughed at you, ignoring the groans of the rest your teammates, and grabbed the sides of your face sweetly. Every game ended like this.

“Don’t cry,” Fulton chuckled, “I can give you all the kisses you want.”

[woso-fan13]

NO. 10 POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS

Taser 

Your team was ahead, 3-0. You had scored 2 of those goals, off of beautiful assists from Rose and Sam. Your defense had just had a perfect save when you heard your teammates shouting at you. When you turn around to see what they had been frantically gesturing to a man on the field. He’s running towards you, yelling. 

Fight or flight takes over, but you choose the third option: freeze. It’s like your feet have rooted themselves to the ground, refusing to move no matter how much you will them to. The man gets closer and your feet finally listen to your brain and start moving, but it is far too late. He tackles you roughly from behind, bringing you to the ground. The two of you lay tangled in a mess of limbs as he tries to flip you over. Before he can get too far, a horrifying jolt of electricity goes through your body. Excruciating pain covers your whole body. But finally, the weight is pulled off of you. 

By the time your mind is clear enough to make sense of your surroundings, your teammates are surrounding you. Christen and Alex, your fellow forwards from this game are crouched beside you, getting as close to you as they can without touching you. After getting confirmation from the medics that they wouldn’t get shocked if they touched you and that you weren’t injured in a way that would be aggravated by them moving you, the two work to pull you into a sitting position. You are barely upright before you go toppling forward, luckily falling into Christen. She pulls you closer to her body, allowing you to lean against her. 

“What the hell was that?” You manage to ask. 

Alex looks at the people around you, then back at you, “he managed to get onto the pitch somehow. When security went to stop him, you ended up getting tased.”

“How- how did he get a taser in here? Is there no security at the entrances?”

Alex looks around again, begging someone else to answer. When no one volunteers, she again speaks, “he didn’t have a taser. Security did. You two were so tangled up that they got the wrong person. And managed to hit you with enough electricity to bring down a very strong, very angry, very large man.”

“Alex?” You ask. 

She hums in response. 

“It really really hurts,” you say, beginning to tear up from the pain now that the adrenaline has worn off. 

You feel Christen hug you closer from behind while you see Alex give you a sympathetic smile. 

“I’m so sorry baby, should we get you back to the treatment room and get some help?”

“I’ll go, but you have the game,” you sniffle, not wanting to admit that you really did want someone there to hold your hand.

A face appears behind Alex and you tense up only to relax when you see Tobin, “the game‘s canceled short-stack. Too much of a security risk to keep going. Now, how about we help you to the back?”

You nod, looking up at her with your best puppy dog eyes. She needed to remember that you were, quite literally, shocked, and couldn’t walk back by yourself. She huffs good naturedly as she bends down to grab you. She grunts as she picks you up, making exaggerated noises to hopefully make you smile. 

“Either I’m getting old or you are getting too big to be carried. Any ideas what it might be?”

You giggle, “you’re getting old Toby, everybody knows that.”

You know you must look really rough when she lets you get away with calling her Toby and calling her old. Her only response is a raised eyebrow as she continues walking. Luckily, Christen comes to her defense, lightly tugging your ponytail from where she was walking besides you. 

—-

Later that night, you cause a massive ruckus as you force some roommate changes. You had been roomed with Becky, who had flipped on the news while she was getting ready for bed. While she was in the bathroom, a clip from the game showed everything that happened. When she came out of the bathroom, you were panicking on the bed, back in the moment. She didn’t know what to do so she picked you up, walking quickly down the hall. She pounds on a door, which is quickly opened by a very confused and half asleep Allie. Becky drops you into her arms with a message to pass you off to Alex before going back to her own room. After Alex has managed to calm you down, you insist on having a massive sleepover with all of the players. You don’t want to sleep without knowing they are safe. 

So you manage to fall asleep, one of seven in a bed clearly meant for two people, maximum. But everyone was together, everyone was safe, and no one had a taser. 

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Team RWBY as also "bad protagonists" because they apparently don't affect the main plot or at least aren't constantly driving the main storyline forth at a nonstop pace. Yeah that also baffles me because "team RWBY don't affect the main plot" How? They are the main plot!

I think it's partly motivated by a mentality that they "don't do enough" or "don't do it correctly".

The kinds of things that Team RWBY tends to do are more about the value of small and partial victories, the resilience and healing needed to keep going in the face of relentless evil or failures by forming strong bonds with each other, and the willingness to lean on others and trust others to continue the fight when you've fallen down.

A running theme of most views like the original point was making seems to operate on the notion that the only valuable thing a protagonist should do is big, grandiose absolute victories that fix everything perfectly and put them as the big saviors whom all should respect and defer to.

In other words, a lot like how a lot of people seemed to think Adam and Ironwood would be.

But the series actively skewered and dissects this mentality, with those two being highlighted more and more overtime as being intensely self-righteous at best and downright monstrous because all they really care about is their own grandiose fantasies at the expense of others.

Hell, Ozpin, even if his own goals were better-intended, suffered from this issue for millennia, since his belief that he was the only one who could oppose Salem and fixation on the bigger picture meant that he constantly overlooked how his "perfect world order" was cracking and falling apart at the seams because of the numerous small failings and societal issues he considered to be less important than defeating Salem (whom was smart enough to recognize his bad habits and exploited it ruthlessly), and arguably to the point of overlooking the possibility that his entire quest set to him by his God was likely never intended to succeed in the first place, because his goal was fundamentally impossible.

RWBY is a story about the small victories, how they can inspire others to try their best, even if only a little bit, and how the little things can build and improve to truly enacting change, in ways that grandiose gestures and fixation on bigger glories can overlook, or outright actively harm. How much the small things we do to help others can snowball into bigger and more profound impacts because we as people remember to actually care about others, instead of seeing them as a stepping stone for "the main characters".

And more than anything, that justice and a better world is a living and breathing organism that needs to be cultivated and nurtured with care and compassion, acknowledging and addressing the warts and all of society and that the fight never ends no matter how much people might want a guaranteed "happily ever after". Not forced at gunpoint or by "purging the problems until they go away" by those who think everything should be solved by the egomaniacs with the biggest god complexes.

That's exactly it. This isn't a story where we find a giant superweapon or where we have a series of battles where some win and some lose. Salem is immortal, infinitely patient, and the game is rigged against them. The only way to win is to change the fundamental narrative of Remnant itself. It's a story about broadening your understanding, learning to get back up, accepting yourself. Which often leads to cool battles, yes, because the demons of human nature here occasionally have the form of literal demons you can shoot in the face.

[videogametako]

baka review: touhou hero of ice fairy (+ prologue)

putting the prologue here because it is free and fun and not in the full game at all (which is fun but not free)

you get to fight the scarlet sisters and get a taste of the gameplay. emphasis on taste because the mechanics actually feel a lot better in the full game, so if you're hesitant on buying it because the prologue gameplay feels slightly clunky, you should buy it anyway and see for yourself and refund if you find you still don't like it. i managed to beat 3 of the story bosses before 2 hours so you can definitely get a good taste for it and your money back if you didn't like it

that is all about the prologue

baka game. real 9/9. link here:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1955830/TouhouHeroofIceFairy/

overview

touhou hero of ice fairy is a bullet hell boss rush where you play as resident baka cirno, the hero of ice, on a quest to save her princess daiyousei from the clutches of the evil nightmare miko. it's a cute plot and the story segments are presented to us like a puppet show theater style that's super endearing with the art

even the tutorial stage plays into it, i love it

gameplay

cirno has two types of attacks, a basic shot and spell cards. hold down LMB or whatever is assigned to the controller to shoot and deal damage to the boss. to use spell cards you need courage, gained by dealing damage (i actually can't remember if there are other ways, but uh you'll mostly get it by dealing damage anyway). gain enough courage and you can use spell cards, consuming it. it's worth noting that some shot types do much better with higher courage, and all of them have additional benefits from being at higher levels of courage.

dash with RMB, and fly by dashing in the air. flying is completely free invincible movement and is really strong, but uses stamina obvs. the game honestly feels a bit like a souls-like, not that i play souls likes. there's a lot of dodging involved, but attacking is pretty much a continuous effort

i forgot to take pics of the gameplay and apparently this is the only screenshot i have. your goal is to clear the many phases/stages of the fight either by waiting out the timer or depleting their health bar. some phases force you to wait out the timer by making the boss invulnerable, indicated by chains

here's a store page screenshot

after finishing the main story battle, you can eventually choose to challenge past opponents in challenge mode. for completionists, there's no-hit and pacifist no-hit runs you can try

forgot to mention items, they're basically to modify your shot type and give you passives, you can see 'em in the lower right portion of the screenshots above

screenshot from the trailer

and, another thing i forgot to mention was the presence of an assist mode. it said it decreases boss difficulty as you lose so it's a pretty neat way to slowly lower difficulty as suited for you. it also gives cirno this cute chick thing on her head lol

story

the first stage sees us at the misty lake, where cirno begins her search for the nightmare miko's lair.

she's kinda dumb

we're then introduced to our first opponent, clownpiece

her being in a one piece latex suit might be a joke in itself i'm realizing. she's our first taste of real gameplay, and uses bullet patterns akin to someone who—as my partner so aptly put it—has a surface level understanding of what america is.

beating her shows her in a battle damaged state which i will not be showing here because she has her whole ass on display, but that'll be the trend for mostly everyone yeah. though, i think hers has the uh, most damaged outfit out of all of them. also losing enough times triggers taunting dialogue from them too, really made me wanna beat suika up more when i got it the first time.

oh yeah she promises to tell you the way to the nightmare miko's lair too! hooray! though, unsurprisingly, she is somewhat of a jester

and our hero is kind of dumb. in the forest, cirno stumbles upon some fairies harassing a bunny. after driving the fairies away, they invite us into their train

tewi's outfit is so cute

there are, naturally, bunnies on the bunny train

this bunny train serves as the menu and hub, i quite like it. there's an encyclopedia, a jukebox, etc.

reisen here changes your loadout for you

pls be nice to her, she's overworked

there's this cute board showing all the bosses you've beat thus far, too. incredibly charming

the story ramps up a bit later, coming with the difficulty spike (at least for me, idrk how others fared). will not be discussing it because uh no time rn, got other things to do

closing thoughts

this game is cute, charming, has great music. i'm impressed by it's quality, and it leans into its aesthetics very well. the redesigns i find quite interesting, and it's fun to compare and contrast the world they establish to canon lore

hmm, the english translation is a bit wonky, but it's honestly serviceable. other than that i've got no real complaints

edit: beat a challenge and like, this is a bit unfair i feel... i mean, i guess i could watch it on youtube....

if you like touhou for the shmup gameplay you will definitely find it here. if you like it for story and characters you will also find it here, feel free to use assist mode and stuff. if you don't like touhou, give it a try anyway

if this game looks fun, buy it over here:

[caramelrxses]

One rhythm – Chapter Three

You were the first to leave. After the celebration and pictures with the coaches, you were running out of the building like it was going to collapse. You didn't need to stay forever there, you didn't take photos with your coaches alone – because there wasn't a reason to do it. Because you didn't dance alone. Because you weren't strong enough.

"Hey, Y/N! Where are you going?! The pictures, why aren't you posing with me?–" Your best friend rushed after you. You had to stop; your hand stopped right above the handle. "What's gotten into you?!"

You turned back to face her. You were still as pale as a wall, and you were wheezing. A panic attack? Maybe, you couldn't understand your body's reactions to seeing him after four years. You felt a cold drop of sweat running down your spine. 

"Hey, Y/N, wait." Nilou approached you swiftly. She wrapped her arms around your shaking body. She wanted to reassure you, but she didn't know why you needed comfort. Of course, she didn't know, you silly didn't tell her about him. About that damn ginger. "What's wrong?" She asked gently. 

"I- I have to go. Loulou, please, tell them I feel sick. Please." You choked out, a single tear escaped your wide eyes. You knew you had to explain yourself later to your friends, especially Nilou. She will be offended that you kept this a secret. 

"What, why? But Y/N the pictures, you have to be on them!" She argued softly, grabbing your free hand. You wiped the tear from your cold cheek. You shook your head, and your gaze drifted back to the hall's door, where your teammates were. You were scared that he might just appear, acting like he hadn't left you for four fucking years.

"Please, please, Loulou. I'll make it up to you, okay? Please." You muttered, closing your eyes tightly. You wished you'd wake up from this nightmare. 

Nilou sighed. She let your hands go, as she glanced back to look at the opened door. "Go. But you'll have to answer all my questions." She nodded, with a strict look.

"Thank you, Gosh, thank you, Loulou." You thanked her and opened the door. As you finally escaped from her sight, you let your tears fall. The cold wind froze your tears onto your now-burning cheeks. You ran towards your dorm, not even looking back once. 

You were scared he might just appear on the corner when you took it. But he wasn't there, those ginger locks stayed at the gym hall, being welcomed by old and new friends. You thought you needed a run. No, that wouldn't be enough. You could try, but your joints screamed at you at the mere thought of another lap around the campus. 

You collapsed onto your bed. Your phone rang in your pocket, but you didn't have enough energy to pick it up. It was probably Nilou, Kaveh, or maybe Coach Faruzan. She'll be pissed off if she finds out you left the meeting behind. 

You forced yourself to put on an oversized hoodie, a new pair of socks, your sweatpants, and your shoes. You left your hair like it was – in a cute braid. The run will ruin your hair, it doesn't matter if it's braided or in a ponytail.

You ran as fast as you could. As fast as your joints let you. Your ankles hurt like hell, but the pain just made you run further into the early darkness. You didn't know if it was your fourth or fifth lap when you saw your friends entering the campus. You wanted to turn around, but it was only a few meters until you reached your goal – the fifth kilometer around the campus. 

Luckily, they didn't notice you. The group that had won this semester at the nationals, the 4ggravate, entered the dorms like you were just a gust of wind. But unfortunately for you, you caught somebody else's attention. The music hollering in your ears made you unaware that he approached you, and tapped at your shoulders. 

You jumped with a frightened cry. Your lungs burned like the deepest spot in hell, and pain stabbed through your ankles, no matter how you tried to ignore it. You almost choked on the cold wind, as you found yourself looking into those damn deep blue eyes. 

"Can't remember how to say your name."

"Aja-" you choked out, but you bit the end of the word. You tried to sound nonchalant, even if he was right in front of you, and you felt like you could collapse from exhaustion. "Childe." You nodded with a cold welcome.

"Let alone count all the freckles on your face"

"Good to see you again, Y/N." He smiled down at you, and you noticed a little scar on the corner of his plump lips. Goddammit, that one-sided smile made you want to throw up. Countless freckles covered his pointy, annoyingly bad-boy-alike nose. "Why did you run away? I mean, you literally just ran away." Childe tried to have a little chat, but you were too upset, tired of it. And you've had enough of this shitty day.

"A distant memory I used to know"

"Mind your own business, Childe. Especially after you ruined my semester." You muttered, turning around. You didn't have to hide your tears. The wind blew them away from your eyes. With a dry throat, you started to walk away from him, back to your dorm room. You wanted nothing but another hot shower, and a warm blanket to hide from the world. And maybe some painkillers to ease the pressure in your stinging joints.

"Woah, what's gotten into you, Y/N?!" Childe asked, trying to catch up to you. He tilted his head, seeking your eyes. You avoided eye contact, you were still busy trying to normalize your breathing. "Aren't you happy I'm back?"

You stopped in your tracks. He stepped forward, and he got in your way. Of course, how could you be happy that your friend is back? He abandoned you, long ago. You moved on, or so you thought. You didn't need him in your life. "Leave me alone, Childe. I'm not in the mood to talk to you."

Why were you so cold toward him? Did he really deserve your harsh words? Yes, you were sure he deserved them. He left you behind, how could you forgive him after four years? He not only left you, but now he has ruined your comeback into dancing. You wanted to dance alone, it was your life, the solo dance. 

All the imagined pictures in your mind shattered like glass when he appeared. You, alone in the spotlights, in the middle of the stage, what is just yours. All of this broke into a million pieces. That could be the perfect comeback after a semester of doing nothing. But no, you were forced into a duo with him, who once crushed your dreams. Was it the second time?

"...Fine." Childe sighed after moments of freezing silence. "See you after the holidays. Merry Christmas, Y/N." His words became cold like the winter wind. He turned around, and just simply walked away. His thick white coat covered him from head to toe, and a long red scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding him completely. Those ginger-haired locks shone brightly in the street lamp's yellow light. 

His clothing reminded you that you were practically shivering in your hoodie, which was wet with your cold sweat. You grimaced at his silhouette and entered the dorms. 

.・。.・゜✫・.・✫・゜・。.

"Are you sure you'll drive home alone?" Nilou asked, two days later. Her suitcase and snacks were right next to yours, in the middle of the room. You packed every important item up, to take them home from the dorm room. It was a three-week holiday, so pretty much just the decorations stayed. Nilou wanted to take them too, but you talked her out of it. 

"Yes, I'm sure. I need to clear my head, I'll listen to something on the way." You nodded. Your best friend smiled at you, hugging you tight. She had an emotional wave, she almost cried that you wouldn't see each other for three weeks straight. 

Nilou became aware of your and Childe's relationship, and she just wanted to help you deal with your emotions. But if you didn't know what they were actually, she didn't either. You hugged her back with a forced smile on your face.

"You can call me every time you want, okay? We only have a one-hour time difference, I'll be up when you call." You smiled at her, and seeing her wide grin made your smile real. 

"But Liyue is sooo far away! I mean, it's two states away from us. You should visit me sometime, the winter in Sumeru is much warmer. You could sleep in my bedroom, we could visit the boys too!" She tried to convince you. You shook your head, smiling, rejecting her offer.

"I'll make sure to visit Sumeru in the summertime, Loulou. Now, I have to wander around Liyue Harbor, meeting with friends and family. But we'll talk every day, I promise." You promised, offering her a pinky. She nodded with a grin, and then turned to the door.

.・。.・゜✫・.・✫・゜・。.

You were busy putting your heavy bags into the trunk of your car, when somebody called your name. "Y/N, are you sure you want to drive alone? We have a seat in the back." Coach Zhongli's words snapped you out of your inner screams about how big your suitcase was.

"I'm pretty sure, but thanks, coach. I'm sure I don't want to be stuck between the Adepti, but thank you again." You shook your head with a smile. Knowing that your friends in dance, Xiao, Yanfei and Ganyu, were a loud trio, you were sure you didn't want to travel home with them. The two girls would be arguing about what music to play, and Xiao would sleep with his headphones on, in the passenger seat. 

"I wanted to talk to you, actually, Y/N." Coach Zhongli continued. Your previous and secretly favorite coach sighed worriedly, as he helped you with your heavy bags. He leaned against your car, after closing the backdoor. "About our decision."

Before you could even react, he continued. "Y/N, avoiding any contact with Childe doesn't solve anything. He told me about your confrontation two days ago. You can't just ignore him."

"Coach, you are the one who has to understand my view. You have to understand why I don't want to dance in a duo. Why do I not want to dance with him." You complained. You put your hands on your hips, shaking your head once again. "I'm a solo dancer. I don't want to dance with anyone, especially not him."

"You weren't a solo dancer under my wings, Y/N." He corrected you. "You two were my biggest stars, you know that. You were inseparable from one another."

"Well, the times change." You argued. You didn't want to hear his scolding. You didn't want to be reminded again about your old relationship with Childe. 

"Y/N, I know what happened." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "But you can act more friendly, you know. At least give it a try. You've been put together by choice, not by accident. Everybody knows you two were an incredible duo – act like it."

"Coach, please." You pleaded, lowering your head. You wanted the coaches to change their minds about you and Childe. They had to understand why you didn't want to be his duet partner. "You have to understand. I want to be alone. I want to dance solo."

Coach Zhongli sighed. His firm gaze pierced into you, his mind didn't change. He was not willing to change his mind, and his words confirmed this. "Y/N, get used to it. If you refuse to dance with him, Coach Faruzan will put you out of the competition team without a second thought. Remember that, Y/N. You dance with Childe or you don't dance."

His words left you speechless. Your jaw dropped to the floor, as you looked at the coach, like he had said the moon was habitable. Your thoughts were racing, you couldn't process his words for a second. "You can't be serious, coach." You choked out.

But he just shook his head. He was serious, deadly serious. How cruel, you thought. Putting you out of the competition broke your heart, even if it was just a suggestion. It was your life, you were fighting to keep your place on the team. Putting you out would be your end. You fought for this, you impressed the coaches a thousand times, they even showed favor when they put you on the team when you were just a freshman – and they never do that.

It hurt your ego like an arrow through your heart. You knew your dance life would end if you couldn't perform anymore. They've forced you to make a choice. A choice that you end your dance career, but you can avoid your past best friend's proximity, or a choice that you can finally dance alone again – well, almost. You could dance with your ex best friend, in a duet. You would have to share with him. With Chide. How cruel. 

[icharchivist]

From a purely narrative standpoint, I do have to admire them setting a game primarily in a city that in the end you fail to save and everything and everyone you've been interacting with thus far was destroyed. That's pretty ruthless

yeah god.

Like it was definitely the risk out of cutting the game in three parts and extending the Midgar part of the game into one big game, because in the OG this is where you lose. Everything goes wrong, all your plans are backfiring, everything is falling apart, the organization you've been helping is turned into dust and all you have is you and your buddies managing to escape this hell city at the last minute, wondering how they'll even be able to regroup and continue moving on.

Extending a whole game on this portion is just ruthless.

Just to be clear, the city of Midgar is built on two level: one on the ground, and one on a plate that is built above the ground. The undercity is where the poor live. And the city is divided in Sectors, some sectors being on the surface, and some in the under city.

You start the game at Sector 7, it's your home at first. It's in the undercity. It's the part you will fail to save. and in the Remake, in a move i find ballsy, like, and also feel horrified by, they made sure you get to know the people living there. the old woman who basically adopted Tifa and is overprotective of her. The young girl who loves her cats. You learn more about the others members of Avalanche, their motivation for joining.

And all of them are supposed to die, because that's the part of the city you can't save. Sector 7, and the sector built on top of the plate above Sector 7, are going to be destroyed to punish Avalanche, and then they'll frame Avalanche as the people who did the terrorist attack.

And as you fail, Aerith gets kidnapped by Shinra and you have to infiltrates the labs that are experimenting on her to save her, and then you have to escape the city.

And that's where the Remake was supposed to end.

in the OG, though... when you're in Shinra to get Aerith back, after you've been caught and taken into cells, you're suddenly free because of a malfunction and when you wander the corridors, everything is covered in blood. everyone you've seen there have died. Sephiroth has infiltrated the place, slaughtered everyone he met, killed the President, and took his mother back and left. you don't see him at all during this part, and then the son of the President presents himself as the new antagonist and you have to run away, and it's after being gone going to the next city Cloud will talk about Sephiroth and they'll focus on him and on taking down Shinra from starting back from the ground up.

The game though, should be stopping after running away, before going to the next city.

i know Sephiroth will have a bigger part in the ending, but even without him...... that's still a very sad part to end on.

You failed to save your city, everyone who worked for the same goal as you is dead, you now are fugitives, the political regime just changed to something even worse than before, you have nothing, you've failed everyone.

In the OG the fact is, eventually this is where you have to pull yourself by your bootstrap and move on.

But the remake has to make you believe a whole game where you're mostly failing is what you'll get through.

(tbh the original ending to the OG was ALSO super grim. Like, before the movie came out and they decided to make sequel, there was a strong reading of the original ending as "everyone is dead." but the OG is also about accepting death, accepting that things have to come to an end. the remake has been. well. yaknow.)

i suppose it's also why the Remake added others plotlines, if only so the ending isn't sad and is more confusing instead to make you come back for more.

but yeah. this sure was ballsy. god what a game

[dzpenumbra]

2/16/23

Today started rough. No surprise, considering how difficult the past few days have been. Yoga went good, then suddenly really difficult, then good again. By the end of it, I was in a pretty good mindset.

You know that cynical asshole in your head that looks at people who are talking about really positive things like self-love and positive self-talk, and (specifically, in this case, whispering "I am strong" or other affirmations to yourself) and goes "wow, that's really fucking lame" or "that's hippie shit" or whatever? That bitter voice that kinda sounds like the meathead jock in highschool or the schoolyard bully in elementary school? I think a lot of us have that. And when I'm depressed or super stressed out, that voice can get real goddamn loud and convincing. And it actually chimed in today, masquerading as one of my dominant thoughts. And I caught it. I fucking caught that sneaky shit trying to make me self-conscious about whispering "I am strong" to myself, as encouraged by a teacher as part of a yoga routine, to encourage and motivate myself as I was doing a difficult plank. Self-conscious, while... alone... in my apartment... And I reflexively went "ugh, that's lame". And then I went "wait, no it's not." I actually corrected myself. --- Honestly, I'm second guessing whether I actually did catch myself in the moment or a bit after... either way, I had that moment of realizing that it was a reaction I didn't want. And I was able to rebound back to where I wanted to be. And the rebound felt great, and set a really good tone for the day.

After yoga, I went to make cereal and there were no dishes. Dishes had been piling up in my kitchen. If I had let the "self-talk is lame" subpersona take center stage, I would've been pissed off and gone "what the hell am I supposed to do now?!" Instead, I looked at the bowls on the counter, then surveyed all the dishes around, then went... okay... time to do the dishes, I guess! And I did.

I know this probably sounds dumb to people who don't have this kind of struggle, but I have struggled with this shit for like... well over a decade. For some reason, there's this reaction to the scope of the task of doing the dishes. Not even the act itself, honestly I don't mind the act of washing dishes at all. It's something about the scale and scope of the task. It immediately overwhelms me. Then I go and hand-sand a piece of raw quartz for 3 hours. Figure that shit out and you get a gold motherfucking star. It's just how my brain has always worked, my mom helped me track this back to like... at least early highschool. But today, I knocked out dishes super quick, ran the dishwasher and made cereal.

I did research on malas which was nice and informative. I have been very intrigued and drawn to them. I got lots of ideas. I went up and put water in the rock tumbler barrels to clean then and set them to run, then hopped in the shower.

After the shower, I was at a crossroads. I made a special goal for myself for today - either go be in nature or go to Michael's (arts + crafts store). It was getting too late for nature for me, so I chose Michael's. I watched a video briefly before going which was by a Buddhist monk teaching breathing techniques. I've learned a few over the years, these ones were very simple and very subtle. Again, breathing and meditation are a big missing piece from my self-care lately that I have just been... putting off. I don't even know why. I just have been. Maybe I'm afraid of the thoughts that will invade? I don't know. But I clearly am avoiding.

But I watched the video, and did some breathing along with. And I got the same kinda yoga clarity, just a lighter degree and quicker. And the stuff I was learning in yoga started to automatically fuse in, so when i breathed in I would straighten my spine, then breathing out I would relax muscles, that whole thing. It really helped me brighten up my emotional palette.

I took recycling out, I checked for the book I ordered on how to make your own ink and stuff. Still not here... I tried to order direct from the author to make sure they were getting the best support I could offer, but I'm afraid that might not have been a good idea? I don't know. Then I headed out the front door, apple in hand, strolling down to my car in the parking lot. I passed by a woman about my age with a dog, who avoided eye contact. I passed 2 bigger men younger than me, who very briefly made eye contact and I gave them a slight head nod. Then I passed by an older woman, who met my gaze and returned my smile. I appreciated her gesture a lot, I hope she appreciated mine as well.

I then managed to time every light perfectly just after rush hour and proceeded to spend an hour and a half in Michael's. I browsed everything. I ended up getting - a bottle of gold metallic paint, a bottle of green/purple color shift paint (because I just won't learn my damn lesson, will I? XD), a can of acrylic sealer, 3 cheap wooden crates I plan to stack to make a bookcase of sorts (my mom's suggestion), a sleeve of Reese's, a box of Whoppers, a string of Malachite beads and a string of Moonstone beads. Not a bad haul, some really cool stuff. I made a list of stuff I wanted on the back of my hand - a lifehack that's saved my ass more times than I can count. The only thing I wanted and didn't get was some kind of device for painting beads, and I scoured the entire store and couldn't find anything that would fit the bill. Shame.

My mom called me in the store, I told her I'd call her back. I self-checkout'd and ordered chinese takeout in the car. Quick drive home, brought stuff in, got the food called my mom back. I shit you not, I called her before my apartment door was even shut. And like 3 sentences in... brick wall. Conflict. It took over an hour to even get her to understand what was happening, but once she became receptive it was a really good bonding experience. I felt like she was learning a lot. But like... people get very dug in when they feel cornered and scared. And it was just a really shit situation, because she was asking me how I was doing, or something to that degree, and I told her. I laid my frustrations on the table. I'm upset that I'm like... clearly saying that I'm doing horrible and struggling, and no one really seems to care. And I'm not really getting any help. And I don't know what to do about it. That whole thing. It just came out. And she just... kinda skipped it? Like... I don't know how to phrase it. It was as though I didn't answer her question. And when people do that, it really fucks with my head. A lot.

But it turned out that like... I guess she felt guilty or bad that she was fucking up my day or unearthing my shit or something? I can't tell, she struggles to communicate still. And that made her freeze, I guess. And I still struggle to know what to do in that situation, because on the phone I really can't read that. And I guess I really should just like... leave? But that feels rude? Like... she should really just take some space, or take 5 and breathe or something. I'm not sure if I create space there... that it really sends the right message, like that's not really my gesture to make on her behalf. Like "you need space now, so here's your space". Ugh. It's really difficult.

But yeah, it was rough for a long time there. Then it turned around. Then back into talking about my mental health stuff. And I'm... just stumped.

Like... I don't want to go to the ADHD subreddits or any kind of support group because... I don't want to be a fake. I have told this story a thousand times, but for context, I was misdiagnosed with epilepsy and I went around like... introducing myself as that, and wearing a medical alert bracelet, and training my dog to recognize "seizures" (dissociation), I even joined the Epilepsy Foundation and my girlfriend and I were invited to go to like... social functions and shit. I'm glad I didn't go. After every anticonvulsant on the market just fucked with me and didn't make me better, I went to a neurologist and insisted on getting an EEG done to confirm or deny the diagnosis, and there was no epilepsy. And that experience, that stage in my life, laying on the couch for a week puking every day from Depakote, popping Carbamazepine like they were Tums. The whole narrative has really left a deep emotional scar. And I'm sure it's the driving factor in my impostor syndrome right now.

Talking to my mom about what to do with this diagnosis thing is leaving me... a bit lost. Like... I feel like I'm just looking for a language or title to explain to other people who I am, what I am, so that they will get off my back about the things I struggle with... and ideally offer me assistance with them. I think that's what it really comes down to. And, for myself, having the diagnosis confirmed could help me feel comfortable accessing a community of similar people. "Why not PTSD support groups?" Because... secondary trauma. Because PTSD support groups and Social Anxiety support groups just fucking hit different, you know? There's overlap, don't get me wrong, but... there's a much different tone. And I feel like an ADHD community would be a bit more focused on day-to-day functioning and life-hacking that, and tips and tricks and venting struggles and stuff. And less of the... "I'll never have sex again because I was assaulted 7 times" or "how do you date again after losing your wife?" or stuff like that. I still participate in that group, I try hard to shine love and light into there when I have the room to share their burden. But... yeah. I hope that makes sense?

So the diagnosis for me? Honestly, I don't even know if I want meds. I'd be willing to try them, just to see if there's a profound difference like I've heard there can be. But I don't know. The diagnosis would be for if someone was being nosey and needed an explanation for why I sit weird, or dance around the grocery store, or stare off into the distance while I'm talking to them while I juggle multiple thought threads, or doodle when I'm in class, or wonder why my house looks like someone ransacked it, or wonder why I really want to go to the national park but can't get myself to go because "it's a whole thing, I only have 3 hours to drive 18 minutes, you don't get it." It's a way of... explaining myself. Which I feel like I constantly have to do, to the point where I've developed this complex, I guess.

And to provide myself peace of mind, and a sense of identity. That I'm not lazy, I'm not scatterbrained, I'm not forgetful, I'm not dumb, I'm not developmentally stunted. I'm just... different. And I have my strengths, and I have my weaknesses. And those differ from others. But if you don't condense that into 144 characters, people just stop fucking listening. Even a doctor will only give me 15 minutes to tell my entire medical and mental health history. So... it's immensely helpful to have quick, common terms I can use to communicate very complex private concepts. Like instead of saying how much I struggle with different triggers and trusting people and all that, I just say "I have PTSD". Boom. Done. Need more details on my specific case, we can talk then. So yeah. That's sorta... what it is to me. That's what my mom helped me clarify for myself tonight, and I'm glad we found resolution so I could resolve that direction.

But........

You know... ideally? I'd just have supportive friends, and a supportive partner who would vouch for me. And I wouldn't have to worry about constantly explaining myself, to appease this constant suspicion and scrutiny. Ideally.

Maybe some day.

Bed time.

Good vibes first? Um... I told my mom about the mala I wanted to make for her, and she actually sounded really excited about it. I didn't want to pressure her into using breathing techniques for stress and panic management, you really have to choose your own technique that is doable for you... that you want to do. But she seemed to really be onboard, so I'm going to get started on it soon. That was a nice full-circle resolution.

Night!

[rcksmith]

Not you — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “Five Hargreeves x fem!reader, Fluff prompts 9, 52 and 53, please? (You can do this whenever you feel like it) Five and Y/n are both hit by one of Hazel and Cha-Cha’s bullets in the Gimbel Brothers store and they immediately go to the academy (Five wants Y/n treated as soon as possible.) after they’re fine, the siblings start to question them on Five’s protectiveness over Y/n”

“Hii could I request 4 & 23 off the fluff prompts for Five pls ty 😌✨”

Fluff prompts:

4. “Sweetheart, you’re my entire world”

9. “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?!" "No, that girl is my wife!”

23. “i’ve dreamt about this.”

52. "Help her first."

53. “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same energy and they prompts connect to a central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

I used here some fragments of the central plot of Five, but, guys, keep in mind that he is 20 years old, and that when he comes back to 2019 Five does not make a mistake in the calculations. I changed the location of the fight too, but a really I hope you, Anon # 1, don't mind.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: blood, mention of death, swearing, fluff too.

— — — — —

You remembered perfectly when you met Five Hargreeves, the commission's golden ball, The Handler's award-winning shamrock. If you closed your eyes, even after years, you could still smell the male cologne wafting in the air, and you could relive the same feeling in the pit of your stomach that you had when he looked at you with those obsedian eyes.

Five Hargreeves was gorgeous. Absurdly gorgeous. But absurdly arrogant, boastful, presumptuous and completely absent of any delicacy in relation to empathy and kindness. He was the type who would open the door for you to enter first, but who would be the first to make fun of your erroneous reasoning.

And that was why, at the time, when you were assigned to be his partner, you lived in conflict with what you really felt. It was a mixture of tantrum and physical attraction.

But unlike all the people around Five, when he spit fire at you with all the anger at his difficult temper, you didn't run. In fact, when it exploded the first time in front of you, you crossed your arms, arched an eyebrow and looked at him with boredom.

“Have you finished your show yet?” You said, as if you didn't care, leaning against the hood of the car while Five screamed through the 7 winds “Stop to imply with everything.”

Five had been your partner for a few months now and it became clearer each day that the irritation was mutual. He made it perfectly clear that you pissed him off until his last hair.

But, unlike you, it was for another reason.

Shit, you were a fucking goddess! Your beauty was notorious, but that was not all that caught his attention. You were smart, canny, brave, Five never saw you in fear of any situation or shaken by any scene of blood. You knew your goals and went after them. It was strong, decisive, and, goddamn, he loved it. You had a fist, you were firm, and you always made it very clear that you were no helpless maiden.

It felt like you had gotten out of his imagination, from the daydreams in which Five rambled about what kind of woman he admired. And, hell, you came with the full package. It was a combination of overwhelming beauty, intelligence, dexterity, and he never thought that someone like that could be real.

But of course you were. And now Five was completely irritated because you were real, and not just another his dream and daydream in which a sublime woman starred.

“To Imply?” Five turned to you, eyes on fire “To Imply?!”

“Like a 2-year-old who didn't take his afternoon nap. It's not the end of time, it doesn't have to be childish.”

Now Five felt himself ignite. He was a dry, rough fire and you were gasoline, igniting everything saw ahead.

Was that damn woman calling he a child?! You?! Just you, the person whose Five wanted to tie the bed and do all kinds of sinful things.

Oh hell no!

Five came forward, furious, like an angry god, his coal eyes never leaving your direction.

“Childish, isn't it?” He snarled “I'm going to show you the childish!”

Five held your face tightly in his hands and pressed your lips to his. Fierce, needy, set on fire, lost in half sentences of feelings about you. He slid his hands to the back of your neck, closing his fingers in your hair and invading your mouth with his tongue, letting you taste the caffeine, danger and lust he had.

You sighed, or Five, or both. You held him as close as he was, with the two of you being on the same mission: to conquer, to take, to possess. But Five had an extraordinary intensity, a magnitude that managed to win you

Then your touch became more docile, your kiss became submissive and you were surrendered. When Five walked away, not with his body, he still held you against him, but with his head, enough to look you in the eye, you sighed.

“I’ve dreamt about this.” You gave up your game, because you couldn't pretend anymore, and Five responded by kissing you again, this time tasting your whole mouth.

After that day, Five and you never came apart. You two were like a dynamic duo, crime partners in the morning and intense lovers at night.

But Five spent so much time with affection, love and caring being denied that when, on a night when work got the best of him, Five fell into the bed you shared in a Motel room, very close to your lap and you smiled sweetly and ran your fingers through his black hair, establishing the affection there, Five was catatonic.

His wild mind wanted to take it away and go, tell you to swallow those loving gestures and that he would never need them. That they were a nuisance, a distraction.

But his body and heart... well, they begged Five to stay another second. Just one more second enjoying that touch, the care, the importance that someone felt for him. He liked to be pampered, who knew.

So he ended up falling asleep with your touch and, after that day, Five realized that if his body and heart couldn't get any further from you, then no one would ever take you away from him. You would stay with him, until the end. As long as you wanted to stay.

And you wanted to. You wanted all the stages, all the moments, all the fights. You wanted Five, completely. And after some time like that, he said that you two were going to get married. It wasn't a request, it wasn't a speculation, it was a fact and that's it. You laughed, it was Five's style to be embarrassed about something and treat it more coarsely, just because he didn't know how to deal with the emotions he felt.

“Of course I do.” You reassured him by bringing your hands to his face, tracing affectionate circles on his cheek with your thumb.

“You would have no other option.” He grunted, not looking at you, trying to divert attention from his own racing heart.

You laughed and sealed the future of the two of you with a kiss.

After five years of making it official, Five said he had found a way for him to get home. And as he spoke, you noticed a flickering hesitation in his eyes. You knew, at that moment, that Five would leave it behind if there was a chance that you wouldn't want to go along. He promised to love you, in joy and sadness, in difficult times and in good times, and he never broke a promise.

Five Hargreeves would stay for you. In 1963, in 1988, in 2019, it didn't matter the season, the year. It wouldn't be worth anything if didn't have you by his side.

But, like him, it was logical that you would never abandon him, ever. So you went along. It was together in the murder in 1963, it was together at the time of the target, and it was together when he jumped in the portal. You were with Five when he reunited with his family, they all amazement by the 13 year old little brother who disappeared to reappear as a man of 25. On top of that accompanied by a girl.

But Five still couldn't administer his emotions properly, he still couldn't say that he missed his brothers and that being without his family had been terrible. His past contained many shipwrecks and he did not know how to open up about it. After so many years alone and then killing without any judgment, it was difficult to connect with emotions.

So, instead of saying everything that screamed inside him, after just some time with the siblings he took your hand and pulled you out, telling the Hargreeves that he would go after a decent coffee.

“I wish I could have talked to them better.” You grumble whit Five and he rolled his eyes.

“As if they were going to understand the things you were going to explain.” He murmured, covering the whole issue of the Commission and time jumps.

“This is not difficult to explain.” You raised your left hand, signaling the silver circle that hugged your finger.

Five laughed, sipping his coffee.

“You will be my wife forever, there is plenty of time for you to tell that.”

But as soon as Five's words had just left your lips, blowing in the air like fog, the door to the store opened, and you two didn't have to turn around to find out who they were. Years on the commission have earned you enough training to even recognize the sound of their footsteps.

The exchange of looks that Five and you gave was enough to know what each one was thinking and how they would act. That was your secret language, the superpower that you two shared. No words were needed to understand each one like the back of your hand.

You took a deep breath, while your fingers on your right hand steadied yourself on the coffee cup and Five on the knife. There was no waiting for speeches, exchanging words, you both knew that the Commission would send the best agents besides you, and Hazel and Cha-Cha were not known to be late at work.

Then the action started, Five turned and teleported with the knife, shoving it into the leg of one of the agents covered in rabbit masks. You didn't stay behind and swivel your chair around, throwing the sizzling coffee into the second's hands, causing him to drop the gun on the floor. You didn't wait to kick him in the chest, making him stagger backwards as you got up from the chair. You and Five were good, but so was Hazel and Cha-Cha, and you couldn't count on the powers to dodge physical attacks.

Everything was very fast indeed, windows were broken, punches were exchanged, blood was plucked. But when you looked to the side and saw who was probably Cha-Cha pushing Five against a broken glass stake, you understood why love at work was so dangerous. You understand completely. Because you've lost your focus. It took a thousandth of an instant for years of training and improvement to be thrown out the window. Only the possibility of Five getting hurt got you off track, and that was fatale.

The agent who fought with you took advantage of your distraction, reaching for the gun that was on the floor in that split second. And a shot reverberated through the place.

Suddenly, the world for Five stopped the axis. Everything was suspended, appalled, frozen. And in that very second, his body shivered from head to toe, as if misfortune had sighed in his neck. Five Hargreeves never feared anyone, even death itself. But as soon as he heard the sound of the shot, Five tasted death. Was rough, metallic and cruel, the blood drained from the body and the world released a dark and funeral note, sinking into a black sea.

Because fear is not the bullet hitting you, but someone you love.

Five turned back, eyes wide, hands shaking, and he didn't know what was beating faster: his fear or his heart.

He would remember that moment as the most cruel and frightening of his entire life, years in the apocalypse and killing had no comparison to the terror that was seeing your white shirt start to be stained with blood, the bullet hole marking your abdomen. You looked up at him, shocked, livid, and Five could see death perfectly, pulling the vitality out of your eyes.

He didn't think, he didn't reason, he just teleported himself to you, taking your body in his arms and teleported you two away from there. Five’s hands were shaking, a visceral pain snaking through his body and suffocating him with the worst sensation Five had ever felt in his life.

He took you both to the Hargreeves mansion in the blink of an eye, his powers failing when the blue flash left you both in the giant living room.

“Five!”

Maybe it was Luther's voice, or Klaus, or Diego, he didn't know. Everything was a distant echo, a note submerged in the water. Five saw or heard nothing but your body in his arms, your eyes closed and face frighteningly pale, his right hand, which was pressing on your wound, was already soaked in blood.

It was too much blood, the smell was overwhelming, and for the first time in a long time, Five Hargreeves was in despair.

Hands touched his shoulders, and Grace's voice was heard in the background. But he didn't want treatments, whatever the goddamn his wounds were going to be.

“Help her first!” Five shouted, his voice finding strength in the terror he felt. And also in fury.

The Handler would pay for that, and so would Hazel and Cha-Cha. And, by God, the whole world would pay if you never opened your eyes again.

“Right now.” Maybe it was Pogo “But, Five, are you…”

“No!” He ordered “She first!”

Then Grace's hands took you out of his arms and Five refused to leave you for even a second. He was beside you at the operating table, holding your hand, with him bloody fingers of your blood and the agent he had fought.

But Five didn't care about the himself state, the people around it, or anything. His eyes were focused on you, his face frozen in a livid expression.

And when Grace said that you would need a blood transfusion and Five barely let her finish speaking before rolling up the manga and extending his arm, the siblings Hargreeves and Pogo were shocked. What they saw in Five's eyes was not a man afraid of losing someone, but of losing the person he loved.

I shouldn't have come back. Was Five's first thought when the surgery ended well and you were still asleep. It was his fault that you almost died. And everything was buzzing in Five's head like a propellant.

“So…”

Klaus appeared in the kitchen, with the siblings, while Five was washing the blood from his hands, now calmer since you were alive.

“That was heavy.” Luther let out a little gasp, a kind of choked laugh.

“Aren't you going to tell us what happened?” Allison sat at the table.

“She almost died because of my decision, that's what happened.” Five replied, turning and picking up a cloth from the table, drying his hands.

“Five...” Allison made his eyes go towards his sister “Who is she, actually ?”

Five gave a bitter laugh. Who were you? How would he explain it?

You are everything. The reason wake up everyday was good, what made the summer breeze and the sun's rays warm, the reason why his world was still spinning.

Who were you? It was absolutely everything for Five.

“Someone very important.” His whispered escaped.

“So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend ?!" Luther looked at Five in shock, as if the possibility of him having a girlfriend was absurd.

“No.” Five looked at Luther with fire in his eyes, his voice hoarse “That girl is my wife!”

The room's breath evaporated, everyone was dumbfounded and bewildered. But Grace came in at that moment, saving Five from continuing that conversation.

“She woke up.” His mother's voice was soft, and Five dropped everything he was doing and disappeared into the blue flash.

The first thing he noticed when he entered that room was you sitting on the bed, your back against the headboard.

“Hey...” the smile you gave made Five's world spin again.

He didn't wait a second before walking up to you in quick steps, holding your face in his hands and sealing your lips in a desperate kiss, as if that could prove that everything was fine.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered against your lips, hands shaking, thumbs stroking yours cheeks.

“Bad vase doesn't break early.” You joked and Five laughed softly, his forehead touching your. “Were you hurt?”

He denied it, still with you, as if letting you was impossible. Maybe it was.

“I got distracted, I'm sorry that we let them escape and...”

Five interrupted your sentence

“Sweetheart…” You stopped, bewitched by his tone of voice “You’re my entire world.”

Five wasn't calling Hazel and Cha-Cha right now. He would kill that entire Commission later. Later. Now the only thing that mattered was you.

“I shouldn't have broken our contracts with the commission. I shouldn't have put you in this.” He said “But ... but I am very selfish, and even though I knew it would be better to let you go back to the Commission, I cannot live without you...”

“Hey, I not go come back.” You held his hands that were on your face, looking at him with love "My place is with you.”

“I promise you that I will never let anyone else hurt you. Even if I have to kill every single person on this planet. ” Five guaranteed “There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. ”

You smiled, put your lips together in a passionate kiss and whispered:

“I only need you, my love. Forever.”

[wtftarot]

PAC Reading: The Chariot

The Chariot talks about willpower, drive, and taking the reins in your own life. It's having a balance between creativity and logic, using both to go after your goals. What parts of yourself do you need to harness to achieve your goals?

This reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional help in any capacity. Remember your choices are all your own, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick one of the Sphinxes or the lil white square on his chest and head to your pile

Sphinx One

Y'all seem to be avoiding deeper emotions. For some of you, it's just emotions entirely. It's not even that you're avoiding negative or 'bad' emotions. You're also avoiding the things that can bring you a deeper sense of joy. I think it's genuine emotion that you're avoiding. Y'all seem to have this view of emotions that they're irrational, soft, weak and I'm hearing gross, so I guess for at least one of you emotions are gross. The one that is being pushed the most though is thinking being emotional = being dumb. I'm seeing this example of someone who judges someone for something, then they go and do it in secret. You may be the type to deprive yourself of something in the name of being 'rational'. Now, the way it's being shown to me is that you are going SO damn far avoiding emotions that you're being more illogical now then you would have been if you just let yourself FEEL. It's gotten to the point that being 'logical' is costing you. It's like you see being unemotive as a strength? Listen, the strength is understanding when and how to communicate your emotions. Not just avoiding them. Because let's be honest here, you feel emotions. You're just running from them. You think that if you keep pushing them away and pushing them down you'll somehow reach a point where you're okay and you just don't have to deal with them. Babe. You want to be happy, you want to FEEL happy. We all do. And that's the thing. You're trying so so fucking hard to convince yourself that you don't want things and you don't need/have emotions but you do. You want to be loved (platonically or romanticly). You want to do things that make you feel things. You do all this shit to prove to yourself or others that you're strong, but babe, you are strong, you have nothing to prove. The Chariot is all about combining two opposite things together and using them to move forward. What it's here to tell you is that you CAN be both emotional and rational. They aren't even opposites, you just think they are. Emotions are another way our body and subconscious communicate with us. Emotions tell you what you think in a lot of ways. You feel happy? You think something is nice or good. You feel sad/angry you think something is wrong. Now, that doesn't mean what you think/feel is always right, you can and will misunderstand situations. We all do. But condemning yourself for feeling something? For laughing when you're happy? Or crying when you're sad? Is not helping anyone. I'm serious. Tell me who are you helping by not letting yourself be happy or sad? Who the hell could benefit from that? Because it certainly isn't you. The Chariot is here saying to achieve your goals. to live your life and own it. You have to let yourself feel it.

Random ass vibes: Sun, spend some time in nature. globes, yellow flowers, a lot of yellow here, Leo, 777, dancing,

Two

The lil Square

Y'all seem to be actively avoiding your potential. I think some of y'all know this and others may not. Y'all see going after what you want as rocking the boat for some reason. You may be in a situation where letting yourself embrace your potential will make someone else insecure, make others mad, or you feel like they'll judge you for what you're good at. There's a bit here about seeing your true potential for what it is as being egotistical or arrogant. Honey, I'm here to tell you it's not. I promise. Why are y'all judging yourselves for what you're good at?? There are enough people in the world who will judge you for shit, you don't need to do their job for them. You seem to think that if you pick at yourself before others can, you'll catch every flaw or you'll be able to handle criticism better. That ain't how this works. Because A: most 'flaws' people pick at are more about preference, what one person hates about what you do others will love you for it. B: You end up breaking yourself down before you even get started because you're soo focused on the 'flaws' that you don't see the awesome parts. And C: You end up fitting yourself into a model that is palatable to everyone and lose what you liked about it in the process. It's impossible to be liked and approved of by everyone. You seem to be soo focused on all you're not good at and just dismissing what you are good at. Babe, you need to reverse that. Own your strengths. If others don't like that they can go fuck themselves. There's a bit here about comparing yourself and being afraid of competition. Here's the thing about that though: Yes, there will be people better at whatever you're trying to do. BIG BUT HERE (haha), that does not take away from your strengths. It doesn't. Someone else being good at something doesn't make you bad at it. A rose is good at being a flower, but that doesn't mean a sunflower is bad at it. That being said, YOU CAN BE 'BAD' AT SOMETHING. THAT IS OKAY. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TO JUST DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT JUST FOR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING TO JUSTIFY DOING IT. GETTING JOY FROM DOING IT IS REASON ENOUGH. There's an underlying message here about jealousy and letting others do things that they enjoy badly. See, when we judge ourselves for something, we usually end up judging others for it. Everyone does this to some extent, we're human after all. The advice here is to let yourself just be and do and not judge yourself for it. That will reflect outward towards others. As above so below, as inward so outward. When you feel safe enough with yourself to let yourself reach your potential fully AND openly be bad at some things, others will feel safe enough with you to do the same.

Random ass vibes: camping, bugspray, sunglasses, 13, Cancer, art, perfectionism, doritos, swimming, drink some water, Virgo

Sphinx Two

Y'all came through strong, y'all may have some intuitive abilities going on here. You seem to have this fucked perception of yourself and your intelligence. You seem to be more emotional, maybe even consider yourself sensitive. What I'm seeing is that you may think that means you lack judgment or rational thinking. And that embracing your more logical side means losing your emotional intelligence. (the other sphinx group had the exact opposite issue, which is kinda cool cause one sphinx is meant to represent logic and the other emotion, and the chariot brings them both together) You may have been taught to believe that being sensitive means being weak, and means you lack intelligence. Which we know is bullshit. You seem to take it one step further though and avoid things that require you to use your mind. Y'all seem to feel like you just can't do things, can't make decisions because you can't trust your judgment. Maybe people have talked to you that way so much that you've started to believe it. Well, fuck that. YOU ARE SMART. YOU ARE CAPABLE. You absofuckinlutly can be emotional AND smart. It's okay to feel things deeply. It's okay to be sensitive. You need to understand that there is more to you than that though. You're not stuck with one singular trait. You can be a motherfucking badass and cry during sad movies, or happy movies for that matter. Y'all seem to have been put in this limiting box, whether by yourself or others or society it doesn't matter. What matters is you saying fuck it and embracing every side of yourself. The emotional side. The confident side. The smart side. The shy side. The brave side. The scared side. The wild side. The tame side. You are a full, complex person. We all are. You're limiting yourself by keeping yourself in this box. You don't have to maintain this easy-to-grasp personality for the people around you. Yea, they may not be able to handle the full complexity that is you but that's their problem. Complex doesn't mean bad. Each and every one of us is full of complexity and contradictions. We're human. I keep hearing 'they'll think it's weird'. Sweetheart, does that really matter? I'm serious. Some people think tarot is weird and here we are. Even the roughest opinions are just that, opinions. (Y'all may want to read the second pile's reading, it may help you.) No matter what you do, someone somewhere will have a problem with it. Are you really going to let that stop you? You really are going to deprive yourself of something awesome purely because someone else (who doesn't give a shit what you think of them) will be whiny about it? No offense babe, but I think you need to reevaluate your priorities.

random ass vibes: juicy fruit gum, 11:11, legally blonde, reading, doves, hockey, angels, 22,

[imthebadguyyy]

Hi. This is mine request

Y/n is a teammate of max verstappen, they are in a relationship, y/n crashes and max is worried about her, and he is gonna visit her in the hospital, and when she is released he takes care of her, with a lott of fluff thanks

You Scared Me To Death !

Pairing - Max Verstappen x Reader

Fandom - F1

Summary - When you get hurt, Max realizes just how much you mean to him.

Warnings - mentions of injury, fire, explosion, violence, angst, crash details.

75 laps. That's all that you had to do. Drive for 75 laps. The Bahrain Grand Prix had always been one of your favourite races of the year, and you were so excited. But that excitement had soon ebbed away, after you had missed qualifying because your car wasn't ready for the quali session. The RedBull mechanics had apologised and you had brushed them off, buy you would be lying if you said you weren't angry. It hadn't helped when your teammate and boyfriend Max qualified P1, beating the Mercedes by mere tenths of a second. You had swallowed your hurt and congratulated Max, forcing yourself to feel happy for him.

All it had done was made you determined to win the race tomorrow, even if you had to fight 19 other drivers to do so. Starting P20 on the grid sucked big time, but as Martin Brundle said, "If anyone can fight back from the back of the grid to the podium places, its Y/N L/N" and you had done it before, at the German GP the previous year, fighting back from P19 to P3, winning Driver of The Day as well.

But this race was different. There was a building intensity in the air, you felt it in the air around you. You felt tense and nervous, and you were never nervous. It scared you, but you were going to be damned if you let it show on your face. In your drivers room, you paced back and forth, trying desperately to stop your hands from shaking. Was this what anxiety felt like? you wondered, shaking your head as your heart started hammering against your chest. Far to consumed in your own panicked thoughts, you didn't see your boyfriend walk up to your door, and open it to walk inside.

Max walked into your room, expecting to see you vibing to some R&B music, or something by Rihanna. But you weren't. You were pacing, your brow furrowed and he could see the irregular rise and fall of your chest. He walked up behind you silently, before wrapping his arms around your waist, like he normally did. What he wasn't expecting was your reaction. Usually, you would giggle and let your head fall onto his shoulder, and he would kiss your neck and you two would share a moment. But not this time. This time, you jumped, and nearly fell over onto your bed. "Woah schtaje ! It's just me' he said, eyes softening in concern. "I'm sorry I didn't see you and I shouldn't have jumped, I'm sorry I'm just so klutzy today and I'm also so nervous I-" your nervous rambling was cut off by a pair of warm lip pressing onto your own, as Max's hands cupped your face, instantly calming down your nerves.

You stayed like that for a moment, before pulling away softly, and letting him press his forehead down to yours, fingers gently tracing patterns on your hip. "Why are you nervous mijn geliefde ?" he asked, as he moved his lips to your neck, pressing little kisses along the sensitive skin. "I don't know" you confessed, tilting your head back to give him more access to the expanse of skin, while he stopped at a pulse point to suck at the soft skin, earning. soft moan from you. "Then stop stressing" he mumbled against your neck, word muffling against your skin. "I can't" you replied, struggling to keep the lump in your throat fro growing. "Well," Max said, biting down onto your neck and licking the spot to soothe it, 'Let me help you calm down"

--------------------------------

20 seconds to lights out.

Your heart was thumping so hard against your chest. God, were your hands always so clammy? Was the car always so stuffy ? Was the space always so confined? Was your helmet always that tight?

Your thoughts were muddled. You knew your goal. It was simple. Get to the podium. Except, right now, that goal seemed somewhat impossible. Before you knew, the first red light was flashing, and then the second, and the third and the fourth and the fifth, and then it was 'lights out and away we go!' you sped off, immediately overtaking Magnussen in the car ahead of you. Then, you overtook one of the Williams, but you could feel your breath wavering, and your heart threatening just burst out of your chest. And before you knew it, you were overtaking Giovinazzi in his Alfa Romeo, and the sight of Grosjean's Haas came into view, "And it looks like L/N has already taken over 4 places, making her P16, and we are on lap 2 of 75! It looks like we're going to see her on the podium after, all, but all we can do is wait and see- and oh! that's a terrible, terrible crash!"

It happened so fast. One moment, you were going round the outside of the Haas, and the next the back of the Haas was hitting your front, sending you crashing into one of the barriers, your car spinning a full 360 in the process. The impact as you crashed into the barriers was so intense, you felt yourself blackout for a few seconds.

"That was a horrible crash, between, the RedBull of Y/N L/N and the Haas, I believe of Romain Grosjean. This race has been red flagged and -oh no!' The cry summed it up. Your car had just burst into flames.

------------------------------------

In P1, Max was unaware of the chaos at the back, until he looked in his rear mirrors to see something enveloping into a ball of fire. "Holy shit, whose car is that?" he asked, watching as the flames grew higher. "Um.. Max, I need you to stay calm, but its Y/N" "Are you fucking serious?!" his angry voice burst through his race engineer's headphones, making him flinch. "Is she okay?! Tell me she's okay, damn it!' "Max, I need you to come into the pit lane. We have no information on her yet. Come into the pit lane"

As the 18 other cars came into the pitman, everyone knew better than to park in the way of an anxious Max Verstappen. He jumped out of the car, running to the garage upto Christian, who was watching the screen with his eyebrow furrowed. "Is she alright? Tell me she got out?! Did she get out?!" he was practically spitting the words out, and his engineer and his trainer had to physically restrain him from going to shake Christian. "She hasn't got out yet Max, but the fire Marshalls and the medical guys are there-" "What do you mean she hasn't got out? verdomme, blijf hier niet zitten! doe iets!!"

As his race engineer manoeuvred him to his chair, he yelled at whoever was around, eyes desperately searching to screen for some sign that you were still alive. Outside the RedBull garage, the other drivers were pooling around the garage for some sign that Y/N was okay. The panic had been evident in all their radios.

Charles - "Fuck, fuck, fuck, who was that? Y/N?! Tell me she's okay!"

Carlos - "Joder, ¿quién era ese?" I just saw the car go into flames, tell me they got out okay.

Lewis - oh shit, that was a big crash, fucking hell, is she okay?

Checo- oh no, that was a big one, I hope everyone is okay!

---------------------------------

Back in the car, you felt dazed. Since when was the track this hot, and since when when was your car red ? Were you driving for Ferrari ? No, you drove for RedBull, alongside Max. Your boyfriend Max. Why wasn't he here?

And why did you feel like you were sitting in a sauna? As you begain to regain your consciousness, you felt a searing pain on your hands, and finally clearing the fogginess of your mind, you became fully aware of what was happening. This was your RedBull car. But it was on fire. Almost instantly, your body went into survival mode, ripping the half burnt straps holding your body down, and forcing your limbs to stand up. Looking down you could see your racing gloves glow before they seemed to disintegrate into black dust before your eyes, the flames licking your hands. A scream started in your chest, only to be jammed in your throat, as you opened your mouth to gasp. Big mistake.

The smoke filled your mouth and lungs, and you choked, clawing at your race suit, begging some higher power to help you. Finally, using some courage and adrenaline you didn't know you had, you pulled your body up, bare hands coming in contact with searing hot metal, as your eyes filled with tears of pain. As you jumped out of the car, you became vaguely aware of 3 or 4 people signaling and screaming at you. Too exhausted to even think, you used whatever remaining adrenaline you had to stumble to the barrier and collapse into the first pair of arms.

"Can you hear me? Are you okay? Can you tell me if you're hurt?" The questions were hurled at you from all directions, but you couldn't speak. The head marshall walked up, bracing your body, and checking for injuries. In a hurried voice he asked for the stretcher, but you shook your head. The exhaustion was setting in but you knew you had to let the others know you were okay. But he insisted, and you found yourself sitting on the stretcher instead of lying down, as a medic gently removed your helmet and peeled off the remaining burnt glove, and pressed some ice gently against your burn. Mustering up your remaining strength, you turned to one of the broadcasting cameras and flashed them a tight smile and a thumbs up.

"And as you can see, she has managed to get out of the wreckage, by God's miracle. Thank God she's walked away from that, but how, I cannot comprehend! She went barelling into the barrier and burst into flames and she walked out alive! And I can hear the cheers of the RedBull team, and I think her race engineer is in tears. I can't begin to imagine how Max Verstappen must be feeling"

------------

Max Verstappen wasn't sure how he was feeling either. He had felt fear, anger, anxiety, more fear, devastation and dread in the longest 15 minutes of his life. But you were alive. And he felt like breaking down, but he had to be strong for you. He watched your tired form on the screen, feeling giddy with relief, and ignoring the others around him, he ran to the medical hospitality center. No one stopped him.

As the white building came into sight, he heaved a sigh of relief as Michael Masi appeared in front of the cameras to give the anxious fans an update. "Y/N is alright. She's currently in recovery, and I can inform you that she is okay. She has minor burns on her hands, and is exhausted, but she will be okay. 2 weeks healing time for the burns, and some proper rest should be fine for her. That's all I know, and I would ask the media, press, social media fans, and others to give her the time she needs to cope and recover. What she has been through is traumatizing and I hope you will respect her privacy at this time. Thank you"

Seeing his hesitation, the nurse turned to the driver, "It's okay. She's fine now. She's on some painkillers and I've cleaned her burns and dressed them. She will be fine, and you can hug her or whatever you want, she won't be hurt. I've kept some painkillers on the table, she should take some again in 2 hours or so" All Max could do was nod, suddenly feeling a lump grow in his throat. With a smile in your direction, the nurse walked out of the room, leaving you alone with Max.

Max turned to nod at the race director, before hurrying through the brown door that led to the medical room you were in. When he walked in, his entire body relaxed. You were alive and safe. Seeing you sitting up in bed, a bottle of water by your side as a nurse wrapped your burnt hand in a white bandage. Looking, your tired eyes met his blue ones, as a tired smile made his way to your face. "Y/N",he said breathily, "Thank God you're alive" he said, practically running over to you, but he stopped himself from hugging, unsure of if it would hurt you.

"Hey baby". All it took was two words for him to rush towards you, gently wrapping his arms around your form, burying his head in the crook of your neck, as a gasping sob left his mouth, and you could have sworn you felt your heart shatter. "I'm okay baby, I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm okay" your mantra of "I'm okay" was soothing, as he sobbed into your shoulder. "I thought I'd lost you, you scared me to death!" "I know my love but I'm here and I'm okay" "I thought you were gone. When I saw the flames behind me I didn't even know it was you in the car. When they told me it was you I swear my fucking heart stopped, and all I could do was pray to whatever higher power exists to save you, because I'm nothing without you. If you hadn't made it, I wouldn't survive. You make me better, you help me love, and you let me heal. I love you, and I never, ever want to see you in a situation like that again"

"I love you too" you said, your eyes filling with tears as you listened to him speak. "I love you too" you repeated, gently lifting his chin so his eyes could meet yours, his tear stained cheeks and red eyes breaking your heart, as you tilted your lips to meet his. He returned the kiss with desperation, he needed even more proof that you were alive, and feeling your lips on his were a reminder that you were alive and weren't going anywhere. He kissed you with fervour, hands moving to your hair, one cupping your cheek as his thumb traced your cheekbone, your hands clutching his broad chest.

"Ouch" the soft cry made you two break apart, as you rubbed your stinging hands. "Did I hurt you?" He said, his eyes filling with worry. "No its just the burn. It'll be fine" you replied, shifting in your bed and patting the spot next to you. After a moments hesitation, he climbed in, raising the sterile white sheet and tucking the both of you in. You snuggled up to him, arms wrapping around him as you rested your head on his chest. He rested his chin on your head, one hand running through your hair, the other keeping you stable on his chest. Within seconds, you were asleep.

Looking down at your sleeping form, his eyes lingered on the white bandage covering your burn, his eyes filling again as it stood out against your skin. He hated it. It was a reminder that you had nearly died. He had nearly lost you. His train of thought was cut off by his phone ringing, his mum's caller ID flashing across the screen.

"Hi mum" "Is she okay?" His greeting was pushed aside, his mom far too concerned about Y/N. "Yes she's alright now. She's sleeping now, Yeah I'm with her now" "Y/N's mom is with me too, I'll let her know she's okay" "Thanks mum" "Don't forget to rest as well Max" his mum said, knowing full well that her son would forget about taking care of himself when it came to his love. "I will"

And he cut the line. He looked down at you one more time, pressing his lips to your forehead, and swearing to himself that he would protect you for all his life. He let his eyes close, the exhaustion finally getting to him, all his adrenaline and energy draining out his body, and finally content that you were going to be okay, he let his eyes close.

You were going to be okay.

[goddess-of-green]

Akatsuki with a " over-friendly s/o." But when she on the battlefield she is brutal and tends to torture them not giving a care if she gets blood on her hands and right after the battlefield she back to being the " sweet, loving, caring s/o." ! There you go! Thank you for answering it I want to make sure you weren't uncomfortable so here the request again!🌺💐🍡

Warnings: Fem!Reader, mentions of blood and violence

♡ Tobi

♥ Tobi loves how sweet and kind you are, always checking up on him and praising him, even if he's not doing anything noteworthy

♥ So, once he sees the way you fight, it briefly terrifies him and he wonders if he's even looking at the same person

♥ This isn't some genjutsu right? This isn't someone just doing a very poor job at imitating you?

♥ Hell, he practically has to pull you off of the Jinchuuriki, because they need it alive

♥ And right after the battle, you're back to your sweet and innocent self, running your hands up and down Tobi's shoulders, making sure that he's okay even though you basically did everything in that fight

♥ It takes a few battles for Tobi to realize that that's just the way you fight, and even though it made him kind of nervous at first he's glad to have an s/o that isn't afraid to get their hands dirty

♡ Pain

♥ Pain likes your kind nature, but at first he worried it would get in the way of the ultimate goal of the Akatsuki, he worried you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to hurt someone even if it was for the good of the organization

♥ Psh, he was wrong

♥ He was shocked by the way you fought, and he didn't know whether to feel relieved or like he had a whole new problem on his hands

♥ Darling, we need them alive, make them pay, don't make them spray

♥ He's glad that you return to your peaceful and sweet self after every battle, but it's not quite as sweet when you're covered in blood

♥ Eventually, he starts to get used to your brutal style and even expects it after awhile, using it to his advantage on particularly rigorous missions

♡ Itachi

♥ Itachi loves you for your caring and understanding nature, but like Pain, he had his doubts at first on whether or not you really belonged in Akatsuki

♥ But seeing the way you loved to brutally attack and torture your enemies, Itachi no longer doubted that you fit in with the Akatsuki

♥ He wondered what kind of life you must have lead to have a personality like yours, though he isn't one to judge

♥ So sickeningly sweet, but raising hell when you needed to, it was an odd but versatile combination

♥ Itachi's just thankful that you return back to your kind and calm demeanor after every fight, he isn't sure what he'd do if you didn't

♡ Kisame

♥ Kisame thinks your sweet little cinnamon roll side is cute and endearing

♥ But once he sees your brutal and murderous side he can't get enough of it

♥ He never would have imagined his cute little s/o could be so vicious and it turns him on

♥ In the beginning he thought he'd have to hide the sadistic part of himself from you, but strangely seeing your fighting style made him feel more connected to you

♥ Striking down your enemies with no fear or hesitation, hell, even with a bit of pleasure, before returning to your sweet and unassuming personality, being cute and asking if he's okay like nothing happened

♥ Kisame is in love

♡ Kakuzu

♥ Kakuzu is glad that you care about him and praise his skills, but sometimes your sweetness can get a little too sweet

♥ Once he finds out about how murderous and unafraid you are to hurt people it intrigues him

♥ Why are you like that? Always kind and pacifistic but bloody and brutal in battle?

♥ Nonetheless, he likes that you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty

♥ He's also relieved that your benevolent kindness doesn't carry over in battle, because that would get annoying quickly

♥ He knew you were the one when you brought him a bounty, carrying a dead man easily twice your size and blood smeared on your cheek as you smiled up at him easily

♡ Sasori

♥ Most of the time...Sasori doesn't really understand your kindness

♥ He's a criminal, you're a criminal, and yet you treat him and everyone else with the utmost care and sweetness...it doesn't make sense

♥ Then he found out about how you fought, the way you'd kill mercilessly and painfully torture your enemies, not unlike Sasori with his poisons

♥ It was interesting to Sasori, to say the least, normally he can get a pretty good read on people, but you're a total enigma

♥ He's tried asking you about it before, but you would just smile easily and brush him off

♥ "Whatever do you mean, dear? I would never do something like that."

♡ Deidara

♥ Deidara is enamored with your kindness, the way you praise his art and care for him is what made him fall in love with you

♥ That being said, he is completely bewildered when he sees you fight, bloodthirsty and merciless, almost like Hidan

♥ Then like clockwork, as soon as the battle is done, you're smiling and sweet as if you hadn't just murdered a dozen ninja

♥ He isn't particularly distressed when finds out, he actually comes to admire that part of you, though it does take him awhile to get used to it

♥ He's tried to use you to intimidate Tobi before, but Tobi doesn't believe him

♥ After all, how could Tobi believe that you're bloodthirsty when you're smiling so sweetly and always asking if he's okay?

♡ Hidan

♥ Your soft and sweet personality is cute to Hidan, and it even brings out a softer side of Hidan sometimes

♥ Though, when Hidan found out about how brutal and violent you could be, well....he could have married you right then and there

♥ As soon as the battle was over he laughed and swept you up in his arms

♥ He was almost disappointed when you returned to your calm and sweet self, though he only smirked and resolved to take you on missions more

♥ Kakuzu was relieved though, he didn't know what he'd do with two Hidans

♡ Konan

♥ Konan loves your kind personality, it reminds her of Yahiko

♥ And once she learns about how you fight, it nearly scares her

♥ It's such a startling contrast and it takes a while for her to get used to it

♥ Once she does though, she fully accepts it as apart of you and loves you just as much

♥ And she's glad that you're not too lighthearted for the more...gruesome parts of Akatsuki

♥ As long as you'll always return as her sweet darling, Konan will always love and accept you

♡ Zetsu

♥ White Zetsu thinks your sweet and friendly temperament is appealing and adorable, Black Zetsu thinks it's naive, though there is a part of him that wants to protect it

♥ White Zetsu is awestruck when he sees your fighting style, and it only makes him love you more, you're so strong and deadly it sends a pleasant shiver down his spine

♥ Black Zetsu is pleased as well, though very surprised, he didn't think you'd had it in you

♥ After dealing with the enemy mercilessly, the way you trot back up to him and innocently smile up at him is just...

♥ White Zetsu smiles and hugs you, telling you how amazing you were, while Black Zetsu is also impressed, he isn't as vocal about it, though he will pat your head and praise you