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theotherackerman · 8 months

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NOTES: My muse has run away and I've had major writer's block. However, I managed to write this in tiny chunks. It's fairly long. So hopefully you enjoy it. I'll write more when I get the chance.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentioned sexual harassment and body shaming

CHAPTER FOUR: You Never Forget Your First

Away games were always brutal.

Philadelphia wasn’t a favorite of anyone’s.

The Scouts had won.

They were exhausted.

Every team was blood thirsty at this point.

Not to mention the stress of the holidays was looming.

Eren leaned back on the headrest on the bus.

Falco was watching Gabi’s game. Eren didn’t know how he did it because he would be sick watching his phone for that long.

Armin was asleep across the aisle from him. Jean was texting Pieck while Connie was asleep on his shoulder.

Colt was in the back of the bus, talking to his girlfriend.

The rest of the team was either absorbed into their phones or asleep.

Eren had just started to doze off when his phone went off.

TEXT FROM MIKASA

The notification said.

Eren swiped up.

TEXT FROM MIKASA:

Nice attempt at a hat trick.

EREN:

Thanks for noticing.

MIKASA:

Should have punched that guy in the face.

EREN:

Shouldn’t you be telling me not to lose my temper?

MIKASA:

I would have punched him in the face.

EREN:

Anger issues?

MIKASA:

Historia didn’t tell you?

EREN:

Uh, no?

MIKASA:

Oh. I broke my former dance company’s director’s nose.

EREN:

Remind me not to get on your bad side.

MIKASA:

He signed an NDA. I didn’t though….

EREN:

……are you drunk right now?

MIKASA:

Possibly? Sasha and Historia are here.

EREN:

And???

MIKASA:

They brought wine. We drank it.

EREN:

I envy your lightweight.

MIKASA:

I don’t. How many tattoos do you have?

EREN:

Random. A lot.

MIKASA:

Why do you cover them up?

EREN:

My dad hates them.

MIKASA:

I wanna know what they are.

EREN:

You want me to sit here and list every tattoo I have? I started getting them when I was sixteen, Ackerman.

MIKASA:

What do you have better to do? You’re stuck on a bus.

MIKASA:

How’d you get them at sixteen?

EREN:

Zeke had a friend in college. He did my first ones in his basement. Why are you so interested in my tattoos?

MIKASA:

Because I have two too.

EREN:

You do?

MIKASA:

You saw me naked….

EREN:

Wasn’t looking for tattoos.

MIKASA:

And they’re on my wrist. The same ones my mom and dad had. You know…before they died.

EREN:

They let you dance ballet with those?

MIKASA:

No. I got them after I broke his nose. My rebellion. I cut my hair off too.

EREN:

I like your hair.

MIKASA:

You don’t think it makes me look like a man? Gross said I look like a man with all my muscles.

EREN:

You don’t look like a man, Mikasa. How many times do I have to tell you’re hot before you believe me?

MIKASA:

I don’t know. I don’t believe you.

EREN:

….you want me to break his nose again?

MIKASA:

I’ll think about it.

“What are you laughing about back there?” Armin asked from across the aisle.

“Nothing,” Eren replied. “Just something on my phone.”

“Uh-huh,” Armin smirked.

“Shut up,” Eren grinned back.

This had to be the weirdest drunk conversations he’d had with a woman. Normally, the conversation would have turned sexual by now but it seemed like Mikasa was more of a bare her soul sort of drunk.

TEXT FROM MIKASA

MIKASA:

Okay, so I’m gonna go before I incriminate myself further.

EREN:

Go to sleep.

MIKASA:

Don’t tell me what to do.

Eren shook his head. Man, this woman was stubborn. Probably as stubborn as Levi if Eren had to guess.

EREN:

These are not the drunk texts I’m used to.

MIKASA:

I’m not going to ask to see your dick.

Eren choked on his own spit.

Jean turned around and looked at him. Eren fished into his bag and pulled his water bottle out. Jean shook his head as he turned back around.

Drunk Mikasa had absolutely no filter.

EREN:

I wouldn’t just pull it out on the bus, first of all.

MIKASA:

You mean you don’t have an album with them ready to go? Shocking.

EREN:

You seem to be thinking about my dick a lot.

MIKASA:

Says the man who said he wanted me to squish his head like a watermelon.

EREN:

This is the strangest conversation I have ever had with you.

MIKASA:

I’m sorry.

EREN:

Why? You’re not making me uncomfortable. Unless you’re uncomfortable.

MIKASA:

I feel like I’ve crossed some weird line and you’re uncomfortable.

EREN:

Not even close.

MIKASA:

You sure?

EREN:

Yes. Trust me, Mikasa, you make me uncomfortable I’ll tell you. Promise you’ll do the same?

MIKASA:

Promise.

EREN:

What are your tattoos?

He rerouted her back to her original questions. Eren wasn’t lying. He wasn’t uncomfortable. He was actually perfectly fine with everything she had asked. Honestly, the only reason he hadn’t typed them out was because he was lazy.

TEXT MESSAGE FROM MIKASA:

MIKASA:

[PICTURES ATTACHED]

There were two pictures of the top of Mikasa’s wrist and the bottom. On the top of her wrist, she had an A made out of swords in a circle. On the bottom of her wrist she had a simple bird.

EREN:

Hey, I have a bird tattoo too.

MIKASA:

What kind of bird do you have?

EREN:

A seagull

MIKASA:

Random.

EREN:

Hey. Don’t criticize me.

MIKASA:

I am not. Trust me. I’m getting tired. I’m going to go to sleep. Sasha’s already passed out on my couch.

EREN:

Goodnight.

MIKASA:

Goodnight, Eren.

Eren locked his phone as he faced towards the window. He found himself smiling.

—--------------------------

Historia was hung over and heading to the elevator when Eren passed her on his way from the grocery store.

“Rough night?” He questioned.

“Bad therapy day for Mikasa. Plus my dad being a dick. So we had a few bottles of wine. Haven’t done that in a while. Now I’m going to go pretend that I care about whatever my mom is going to complain to me about,” Historia pressed the button on the elevator.

“Good luck with that.”

“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”

Eren headed into his apartment. It wasn’t long after that there was a knock on his door. He dropped his bags on the kitchen table, headed for the door.

Once he opened it, there was a plastic container of chocolate chip cookies waiting for him.

Apology cookies for drunk texting and trauma dumping.

I know it’s not on your meal plan but I won’t tell Levi if you won’t.

-Mikasa

Eren couldn’t help but grin and chuckle to himself. Closing the door, he took the cookies inside. Then he pulled out his phone.

———-

TEXT MESSAGE FROM EREN.

EREN:

You have nothing to apologize for.

EREN:

Wait. I just ate one of the cookies. On second thought, I’ll make a list of things you can apologize for if you keep making these.

EREN:

Climate change

Shadis losing his hair

MIKASA:

I’m showing this to Shadis.

EREN:

Mikasa, no. I’ll lose my guest locker room key….

MIKASA:

I see no downside.

—————

Ice skating had always come naturally to Mikasa. Anything that was physically challenging seemed to be a good fit for her. It got her out of her mind, away from her thoughts.

When she started having anxiety about hockey was when things all went down hill.

It had been a bad therapy day the other day.

So Mikasa ended up telling Sasha everything that had happened in detail. Historia hadn’t gotten mad at her. Instead, she showed up with bottles of wine because her dad wanted her to spend more time with her mother. Then they made cookies, drank, and watched Eren’s game.

Now Mikasa was here, alone on the ice.

The Scouts had practice at night but no one was here now besides Levi and Shadis.

Mikasa was pushing herself to remember how she had played hockey before.

Before her parents had died.

It had been an open practice.

She had begged her mom and dad to come and every time, they said no.

“I just don’t understand why my daughter wants to play some common sport like hockey,” her mom had scoffed.

“I love it and Levi plays it,” Mikasa had argued.

“Levi is also a boy. You’re a girl, Mikasa. You’d be much better suited for figure skating.”

“I don’t like figure skating! I don’t like dance! That’s what you like! Dad designed the arena and you don’t want to be there. All you do is go on and on about the New York Ballet. I don’t care about the New York Ballet! I hate dance! The other girls are awful to me! The boys make comments about my body!”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t play a sport that made you look like….” Her mom cut herself off before she sighed. “You can’t continue to do everything Levi does, Mikasa.”

Later on, Mikasa would be told how much her body looked like that of a man’s because of all the work she had put into packing on the muscle. She thought of that fight often. It wasn’t even the last one they had.

“Please, mom. It’s open practice. If you come, maybe you’ll understand,” Mikasa had begged.

“Fine. But then I don’t want to hear anything about me coming to your hockey games. It’s too violent of a sport,” her mom had agreed.

Women's hockey was no contact. Though Mikasa had broken that rule more than once. Her parents were then killed in a car accident on the way to her practice. She had been so angry because of course, they showed up late or not at all. It was guilt she still carried around.

At least she didn’t shake or feel like was going to throw up while she was on the ice anymore.

Music played in her earbuds as she completed another lap around the rink. She found herself jumping into the air just because she could. She landed right back onto her skates.

It was a shame figure skating didn’t take. It should have been perfect for her but it wasn’t. She didn’t fit.

At age twenty seven, Mikasa had absolutely no idea where she fit in this world. It was a quarter life crisis. If that wasn’t a thing, it should have been. Sasha was a successful food critic and influencer. Historia ran a PR agency and had some sort of stock in her dad’s business. Connie and Jean were professional hockey players. Levi was a professional hockey coach. Hange was so close to their PHD.

And Mikasa?

Mikasa was just here.

Taking odd jobs.

Getting drunk on wine.

Going to therapy for wounds that she should be over by now.

Why wasn’t she over it by now?

Hell, even Eren had his life together better than she did. At least he had a job. Gabi, who was twenty two, five years younger than Mikasa, knew exactly what she was doing with her life.

“Healing from trauma is not linear, Mikasa. Did you truly ever heal from it? Or did you shove it away into yourself so you wouldn’t have to deal with it?” Her therapist had stared at her.

She had looked away, giving her therapist the answer.

But why would it not go away? She was almost thirty! Shouldn’t she be past all this? Shouldn’t it just magically go away? People didn’t deal with this when they were almost thirty.

Faster and faster, she skated, trying to run from her thoughts, herself. She didn’t want to think about this anymore. It hurt.

Gross had been the last straw in a very long struggle.

Mikasa hated dance.

There.

She had thought about it for the first time in a really long time.

It was too rigid. It influenced every aspect of her life. She didn’t have a fucking life. It was rehearsals, rehearsals, and rehearsal. It was the constant body shaming that was normal. It was the men thinking they had a right to make sexual comments about her that no one did anything about. That was the norm of the entertainment world, even if things were trying to change.

Pulling herself from her thoughts as she felt her body slowing down.

Tired.

She was so tired.

So she sat down on the ice then she laid down on it, staring at the lights overhead.

Sometime later, one of her earbuds was pulled out.

“You know what’s sad, this isn’t even the weirdest thing I’ve walked in on you doing,” Levi said.

“I’m admiring your electrician’s work,” she lied.

“Bullshit. Tell me you’re not injured because I’m not filling out the paperwork,” Levi held his hand out.

Mikasa took it, letting him pull her to her feet. “You’re wearing skates.”

“Am I? I hadn’t noticed,” he deadpanned.

“Skating with the team?”

“No. Came to skate with you before you started being weird.”

“I think I was waiting for lightning to strike me.”

“Why?”

“Because I hate dance,” Mikasa confessed.

“Please, inform me of something I don’t fucking know,” Levi scoffed. “Why do you think I want you at the hockey camp? I’m not expecting you to go join a beer league or figure out some way to play again. I just want you to have something you like to do.”

Mikasa said as she let go of Levi’s hand. “I know. It’s just the guilt from my mom.”

“Fuck your mom.”

“LEVI!”

“That woman shoved some shitty ass dream onto you for no fucking reason. She wasn’t even a dancer. She was trying to live through you. That’s the problem. If she were alive right now, I’d say it to her face. She was a piece of shit to you for no reason. You deserved better. And if you keep letting her bullshit control your life, I’m going to kick your ass.”

Mikasa swallowed.

Levi had never pulled punches with her.

But he had always been there for her. Even when he was in the car accident, he still supported her.

Before she could think about it, Mikasa hugged him.

“This is worse than you just being on my ice. I take it back,” he deadpanned.

“Hug me back, you asshole,” Mikasa insisted. “Or I swear I’ll write Zeke’s name in hearts all over your car.”

“I fucking hate you,” Levi muttered before he hugged her back.

“I hate you too.”

Their hug ended.

“Last one to the other side has to buy lunch!” Mikasa called as she took off.

Levi was right behind her. They shoved one another, knocking into one another.

They would always be like this.

For a moment, Mikasa felt like she was nine again.

Racing Levi to the other side for bragging rights.

And just like back then, Levi won.

“HA!” He called to her.

Mikasa skidded to a halt next to him. “I let you win. Since you’re old now.”

“Bullshit.”

“Rematch?”

“Fuck no. You owe me lunch,” he stepped off the ice.

Mikasa glared at the back of Levi’s head.

—-------------------------------------

Tonight, Levi’s box was full. The Warriors had had their away game the day before. Zeke, Gabi, Bertolt, Porco, Marcel, and Reiner had all opted to sit in Levi’s box. Gabi’s teammate, Zofia had joined them too.

Sasha and Historia were free along with Hange.

Drinks were following, the company was good.

Annie came in at the last moment right before the game started.

“Glad you made it, Annie,” Zeke greeted her.

“Ran into Pieck on my way here. She’s sitting with Jean’s mom,” Annie shrugged before she dropped into the open seat next to Mikasa.

“She didn’t tell me about it,” Zeke frowned.

“I think there’s kleenex in here if you need to cry,” Porco scoffed.

“Fuck off,” Zeke shoved him.

“Does everyone here know Levi?” Sasha muttered to Mikasa.

“Zeke asked if they could all sit together in his box instead of his parents,” Mikasa answered.

“Carla isn’t bad,” Annie said with a shrug, entering the conversation.

Mikasa knew Carla wasn’t bad. The woman had never been anything but kind to her.

“Grisha gets a little intense,” Annie went on.

“I can only imagine,” Historia said.

“Why aren’t you in your family’s box?” Annie asked Historia.

“I don’t want to sit alone,” Historia shrugged.

The game began and all eyes turned to the ice.

—-----------

“LET’S GO MOTHERFUCKERS!” Zeke yelled as he took off his hat.

Eren had managed to score another goal, taking him up to two for this game, three goals in total for the Scouts this game. Falco had managed to score the other with an assist from Jean. The game was going very well. Levi’s box was full of happy people. It was contagious. Mikasa couldn’t be sad when Gabi was forcing Annie to dance with her. Sasha had her arm thrown around Mikasa’s neck, squeezing her tight. Hange and Zeke were jumping up and down. Reiner and Bertolt were high fiving while Porco and Marcel did a chest bump.

Eren stopped skating once he was directly across from Mikasa on the ice. He pointed straight up at the box.

All eyes turned to Mikasa, her cheeks immediately flushed.

Zeke immediately raised his middle finger up to his brother.

Eren shook his head before skating away.

Mikasa looked over at Historia, raising an eyebrow silently asking the blonde if she had arranged that.

Historia shook her head.

Well.

That was interesting.

—-----------------

Another win for the Scouts.

Eren was smiling once he exited the locker room.

Mikasa was leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

“Good game. Still no hat trick,” Mikasa teased him.

“You and a hat trick,” Eren shook his head as he adjusted his duffle bag.

“Plans?” Mikasa asked as they headed towards the door.

Eren took her hand. He didn’t have to but he didn’t want her to think things were weird between the two of them. Friends held hands, right? Mikasa didn’t pull away so that was a good sign.

“Niccolo’s? I promise I will stay with you the entire night. We can get drinks together,” he assured her with a hand squeeze.

“You don’t have to stay with me the whole night. Just don’t flirt with anyone else,” Mikasa shrugged.

“I told you, I’m taking this shit seriously. By the way, I heard a rumor about you.”

They walked out of the door together, hand in hand. He was relieved to see no photographers out there.

“What rumor?” Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

“You filled out paperwork with Shadis. You’re doing the camp then?”

Mikasa sighed, “oh. That. I told you I was.”

“You could have backed out.”

“If you think I back out of things, you really don’t know me.”

Eren wanted to say that he did or he at least used to know her. But it didn’t feel like the right time to do so. “I guess you’re right,” he answered. “But I’d like to.”

“Huh?” Mikasa asked as they stopped by his car.

“I’d like to know you,” he shrugged as he walked to the passenger side, opening the door.

Mikasa just stared at him.

“Don’t overthink it, Ackerman. Get in the car. Let’s go,” he walked around and got into his suv.

Mikasa shook her head as she got in. “I’m only getting inside because I don’t like being the last ones there.”

“Yeah, yeah. You never listen to me, I’m well aware.” He started the car and drove off. Music began playing.

“Where's the seagull?” Mikasa asked after a moment.

“Huh?” Eren asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

“The seagull tattoo. You say I never listen. I know you have a seagull tattoo,” Mikasa answered.

“Technically, you read that I have a seagull tattoo. It’s on my hip,” he answered.

“Okay, fine. What other tattoos do you have?”

“Wow. Pretty forward there. Not even going to buy a drink?” he grinned. Eren didn’t dare look over at Mikasa.

“You’ve got one on your wrist. What is it?” Mikasa narrowed it down.

Once they reached a red light, Eren rolled his sleeve up to his elbow. Tattoos covered his arm. There was a compass with trees and a mountain making their way up his arm. He unrolled his other sleeve, there was a key on his other arm.

“Is that all of them?” Mikasa asked.

“No.”

“Do they mean anything?”

“Some do. Others I just got because they look cool. But at least I’m not Armin. He has an okapi on his side because he lost a bet with Annie,” Eren snorted as he pulled up to Niccolo’s. He parked the car and climbed out, opening Mikasa’s door before she could.

“You know you don’t have to do that. No one is taking pictures,” Mikasa reminded him.

“I know. Can’t I just be nice to you?” Eren asked before taking her hand again.

“It’s weird,” Mikasa bit her lip as they walked into Niccolo’s.

“I can stop if you want,” he shrugged. He didn’t want to make Mikasa uncomfortable, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“I didn’t say it was bad, just weird,” she squeezed his hand as they walked inside.

Mina was leaning against the bar.“Eren!” Mina called out to him.

Eren stopped, his hand still in Mikasa’s. “Mina.”

“You know we never did get to finish our conversation last time,” she gave him a sultry smile.

“Yeah, about that,” Eren paused as he looked over at Mikasa. She was at his height in her heels, which he liked. He could look directly into her eyes.

“We weren’t exclusive then,” Mikasa reminded him with a hand squeeze.

“Oh my…I’m sorry! I had no idea!” Mina exclaimed.

“Bullshit. Connie has turned you down multiple times and you still harass him every chance you get,” Eren snorted.

“Really, Eren?” Mina raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t seem too uninterested last time.”

“Or maybe I was just desperate,” Eren snorted. He gently pulled on Mikasa’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“I’ll see you when you get bored, Eren,” Mina called as they walked away.

Mikasa stopped, looked at Eren and then strode over to Mina. Mikasa leaned in close to her.

He couldn’t hear what Mikasa was saying to the other woman but he saw Mina’s eyes widen. Mina stepped back from Mikasa, mouth open.

Mikasa straightened up to her full height, towering over Mina. With one last remark, Mikasa walked back over to Eren.

Mina adjusted her purse and left the bar.

“Do I want to know what you said?” Eren asked as he led her over to their friends.

“The truth,” Mikasa shrugged as they continued to walk.

“Which is…?” Eren asked as they reached the booth.

Gabi and Falco slid over, so they could sit down.

“What did you say to Mina to get her to leave? Because I’m buying you a drink for getting her to leave,” Connie announced to the table.

“I just told her the truth,” Mikasa shrugged again as she sat down.

Eren sat down next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder like last time. But this time would be different.

“Well, whatever you said, worked. So whatever you want to drink, I’m buying,” Connie replied.

“I think it was the Ackerman stare that really got her,” Jean laughed.

“The Ackerman stare?” Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

“Same look coach gives,” Eren informed her.

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “I’ll be sure to tell him that.”

“Selling me out, Ackerman?”

“Always,” she smirked.

Eren caught Armin’s eye as Eren looked away from Mikasa. Mikasa fell into conversation with Gabi next to her.

Armin smiled at Eren. An all knowing smile that Eren didn’t understand.

—-----------

Family Skate was right before Christmas. It was a toy drive along with having children come meet the players. After the kids left, they would open the arena to the wives, girlfriends, family, and friends of the players. Besides children, there was only one person per player allowed. They could ask Shadis for more. The rule had been added because one person had brought two girls and a fight had broken out.

Tonight was nothing like that.

Connie had invited Sasha while Jean invited Pieck. Gabi had come with Falco. Colt’s girlfriend had actually shown up, shocking everyone. Frieda and Historia were there as the representatives from the Reiss family. Armin brought Annie, surprising no one. Several Warrior players got in including Zeke, Reiner, and Bertolt. No one was sure if Mikasa came with Eren or if she came with Levi.

She was off to the side, talking with Shadis and Gabi about the upcoming hockey camp.

There was a bartender for both alcoholic drinks and hot chocolate. There were cookies and other desserts.

Levi walked in with Hange.

“Hey Levi. Bringing Hange won’t stop me from kicking your ass just like old times,” Zeke called to both of them.

“Shut the fuck up, Jaeger,” Levi said as he rolled his eyes as he stepped onto the ice.

Then Levi skated towards the oldest Jaeger brother.

Eren watched as his brother and coach chased each other around the ice.

“They’re talking about the camp,” Reiner said, pointing to Mikasa and Gabi. “Mikasa has really been training.”

“Yeah, she’s told me about it,” Eren shrugged.

“It’s good for Gabi, you know? Her mom…” Reiner shook his head.

“Again?” Eren asked.

“You remember the shit she went through? Now that bitch is hitting her up for money…again,” Reiner shook his head again.

Eren watched as Gabi and Mikasa stepped away from Shadis. They were animatedly talking, then skating together. Gabi threw her head back, laughing at whatever Mikasa had said.

“She doesn’t do that enough,” Reiner remarked. “And I like her having someone outside of the team.”

Eren couldn’t help but smile, he didn’t know why.

—-------------------

“I could take out her kneecaps,” Mikasa offered Gabi.

They had been talking about what drills they planned to do at the camp with Shadis and somehow that devolved into Gabi confessing her anger with one of her teammates.

“Zofia already offered to do the same. I’m just tired of the underhanded comments, you know? I’m honestly considering retiring,” Gabi confessed.

“Really?”

Gabi nodded. “It's gotten exhausting. I’m hoping that the camp goes well. Then I’m going to bring my presentation to the board about making a women's team. Maybe they’ll pay me to develop it. What about you?”

“What about me?” Mikasa asked as she leaned back on the bleachers.

Zeke and Levi were racing around the ice, purposely bumping into one another.

“Would you have any interest in that?” Gabi asked.

Mikasa took a deep breath.

“You haven’t thought about it,” Gabi stated.

Mikasa looked down at her hands, picking at her nails. She hesitated to answer as she let go of her breath.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Gabi answered for her.

“I’m scared that if I do, something bad will happen. It’s stupid. I just…I don’t know,” Mikasa bit her lip.

“And let me guess, your therapist is little help with this,” Gabi snorted. “I say this because mine is the same.”

Mikasa nodded. “I should be over it by now, you know?”

“I do. We should go skate. Before those two body check Falco to the moon,” Gabi pointed to Zeke and Levi.

Zeke and Levi were not doing some sort of strange jumps while holding hands. Whatever Zeke would do, Levi would mimic.

“What the fuck are they doing?” Connie asked as he sat down next to Gabi on the bleachers.

“I have no idea. I’m going to find out,” Mikasa replied as she stood from the bleachers.

Mikasa quickly made her way onto the ice, removing the covers on her blades as she got closer. She found Eren quickly.

“Hi,” she smiled.

“Hey. I was wondering when you were going to make your way over here,” Eren grinned.

“Sorry. Camp stuff and then Gabi and I started talking….”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind sharing you,” he smirked as he took a hold of her hand.

He did that a lot now, Mikasa noted.

“Hockey skates?” He asked as he looked down.

“Yeah, I figured with the camp coming up, I should be wearing them more.”

“Why do you have Levi’s number on them?” Eren asked as he led her around the rink.

“It’s not just Levi’s number. It’s mine, remember?”

“Huh. It’s a good thing they retired it then because it would be mine too,” Eren smirked.

“You wore thirteen in college though. Why would you switch to nine?” Mikasa asked.

Just then, Zeke and Levi passed them.

“I hate this stupid game,” Levi muttered.

“Feel free to lose anytime. Alright, get ready to grab Marcel’s hand and bring him in on the madness,” Zeke laughed as they skated away.

“I can’t believe they’re still playing that,” Eren sighed.

“What are they playing?” Mikasa asked as she watched Levi grab Marcel’s hand, adding him to the chain.

Zeke jumped over a stray hockey puck, Levi and Marcel did the same.

“It’s like follow the leader but they have to hold hands. You break hands, you lose. You don’t nail the trick, you lose. There’s also an element of Simon says because whichever one of them is leading, whoever they tell you to grab, you have to. They played it drunkenly in college from what Zeke told me.”

“They hated each other in college.”

“That’s why they were drunk,” Eren led her away as Zeke and Levi neared.

“What? Afraid of getting caught up in that?” Mikasa laughed.

“Yes. I’ve played it with Zeke. It never ends well,” Eren shook his head.

“Well lucky for us, it seems like they’ve already picked their next victim,” Mikasa noted as Marcel grabbed onto Mike, their assistant coach.

“That is a disaster waiting to happen,” Eren scoffed.

“Agreed,” Mikasa nodded.

—————-

Family skate ended on a good note.

Mikasa stayed skating with Eren for the remainder of the time. Just talking about their brothers, laughing at them. Then they talked about the camp and all the drills Mikasa planned to take the girls through.

When time came to go, Mikasa climbed into Eren’s suv like she had so many times before.

Eren still wasn’t used to this.

When he was a child, before he really understood love and everything that came with it, this is who he pictured for his partner. He had always just assumed it would be Mikasa.

She was his first kiss, she should have been his first everything else. She should have been his wife.

But that had been the dream of a naive child who knew nothing of the real world.

He watched her smile and hum along to his music.

They had that in common, good taste in music.

As they made their way from his car to the elevator, Eren thought about telling her. He thought about making a fool of himself because there was no way that she remembered him. Why should she?

It was clear she had been through a lot since then. He had been a dick when they reunited.

But he almost didn’t care if she didn’t remember.

This chance, this friendship was supposed to be a fresh start for them.

Maybe he should just get it off his chest.

The elevator dinged, opening to their floor, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Mikasa asked as they walked out together.

Eren nodded.

“You just got quiet.”

“Oh. It’s nothing. I promise. I was just thinking about…..” the words lodged in his throat. “Just thinking.”

“Just thinking about just thinking?” Mikasa repeated.

“Yeah. You know me. “

“Right. Well, thanks for hanging out with me. Sorry I took up most of your time.”

“Trust me, it wasn’t a bad thing. I’d rather talk to you then get dragged into Zeke’s nonsense. Still can’t believe Annie tripped him and no one else fell,” Eren laughed. “Besides, I have to deal with the team all the time. You’re not bad company, Mikasa.”

Mikasa froze.

“What?” He asked as he stopped walking.

“You rarely call me by my name when we’re alone. It just startled me.”

“Do you not want me to call your name?”

Mikasa shook her head. “Didn’t say it was bad.”

For a moment, Eren swore he saw pink on her cheeks.

“I should go shower,” Mikasa walked towards her door.

“Is that an invitation?” Eren asked as he leaned against his.

“And if it was?” Mikasa asked without looking back.

It was Eren’s turn to freeze.

“Goodnight, Eren,” Mikasa smirked as she faced him, closing the door.

Had she just….?

What just happened?

Now he needed a shower.

A long cold one.

—----------------------

TEXT FROM EREN:

EREN:

You didn’t make it weird. But I will take some apology cookies.

MIKASA:

I am knitting gloves for Levi.

EREN:

So no cookie?

MIKASA:

…….

EREN:

The Ackerman stare via text. That's a new one.

MIKASA:

I’m telling Levi all about this.

EREN:

Forgive me.

MIKASA:

I’ll think about it.

—-----

TEXT FROM MIKASA:

MIKASA:

Are you going to be around the apartment? I know it’s Christmas Eve and all.

EREN:

I wish. I’m stuck at my parent’s with my dad’s parents. My mom and I are hiding in the kitchen, pigging out on cookies while my dad’s parents make passive aggressive comments about us.

MIKASA:

That sounds horrible. Well I got you a gift so I’ll just give it to you whenever I see you again.

EREN:

You got me something?

MIKASA:

Technically I made it. But don’t feel bad if you didn’t get me anything.

EREN:

I got you something. How shitty of a fake boyfriend do you think I am, Ackerman?

MIKASA:

Idk.

EREN:

Please tell me you’re not sitting alone in your apartment right now though.

MIKASA:

I don’t mind. I’m knitting.

EREN:

That is the most depressing thing I’ve heard all day.

MIKASA:

Go back to eating cookies with your mom.

EREN:

You could come here, you know.

MIKASA:

And hang out with your parents? Isn’t that a little…real?

EREN:

Probably. Dumb idea, right?

MIKASA:

Not dumb. I appreciate the offer but I’m good here. Truly. I spent almost all day with Levi since it’s his birthday tomorrow. I’ll spend all day with him then.

EREN:

Fine. But the offer stands.

MIKASA:

Thanks.

—--------------

TEXT FROM MIKASA:

MIKASA:

Merry Christmas!

*dancing santa gif*

EREN:

Merry Christmas, Mikasa.

MIKASA:

You’ll be happy to know I’m spending the entire day with Levi and Hange.

EREN:

Good.

MIKASA:

And camp starts tomorrow.

EREN:

I know. I’ll swing by sometime and see how you’re doing.

MIKASA:

Checking up on me, Jaeger?

EREN:

That’s my job.

—----------------

“LET’S SEE SOME HUSTLE, LADIES!” Gabi called from her spot next to Mikasa. “These goalies suck. How do the younger girls play better than them?”

“There is too much ego out there, that's why,” Mikasa remarked. “The younger girls have nothing to lose. These do.”

“Yeah, well, I’m about to lose my patience,” Gabi stated as she gripped her clipboard. “LEON! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? THAT IS YOUR GOAL YOU’RE TRYING TO SCORE ON!”

The thirteen year olds were really testing Gabi’s patience. Mikasa tightened the laces on her skates. It was day four of the seven day camp.

“Please tell me you’re about to go out there and show them how it’s done,” Gabi sighed. “I can’t. Fucking contract.”

Mikasa nodded, grabbing her helmet from the bench next to her. She didn’t have pads on but the helmet was the most important. Tightening the strap to her head, Mikasa stepped onto the ice.

—----------

Levi and Shadis watched from above in the announcer booth, along with a few of the board members.

Mikasa was on the ice. Very quickly, she stole the puck. There might as well have been no one else on the ice as she skated from one end to the other. She hit the puck from the middle of the ice, it soared into the back of the goal.

“She’s putting them in their place. This is what their egos are costing them. She’s showing them that. You teach her that?” Shadis asked.

“No. Mikasa knows what it can cost someone. She’s been in their position.”

Once again, Mikasa stole the puck away. She sailed to the opposite goal. The girls couldn’t keep up. Once again, Mikasa sent the puck into the back of the goal.

“If they would work together, they could take her,” Shadis observed.

“But they won’t. So instead, she’ll keep sinking shots until they realize that.”

“And this is who you plan to lead your woman’s team?” one of the board members asked. Levi didn’t look over his shoulder to see who it was.

“Not sure if she wants to but she’d be a valuable asset to our coaching staff from both men and women,” Levi stated. “She’s not afraid to show them what’s wrong. That’s what we want, correct? If we’re going to have rec leagues, move to have a women’s team, team up with schools, we need someone like her.”

“Hockey players are stubborn. Sometimes that’s what they need. Yelling at them isn’t always going to get through,” Shadis added.

“Then what do we have to do to get her on our payroll?” Rod Reiss asked.

“Let’s go to my office,” Shadis grinned.

—-------------------

Zeke’s New Year’s party was invite only.

Mikasa was invited, of course, due to her relationship with Eren. Historia and Frieda were invited but they were in the Alps, skiing with friends. Most of the Scouts and Warriors were there. Niccolo had done the catering. Sasah came with both Niccolo and Connie. It was no surprise that when Mikasa walked in, Pieck was perched in Jean’s lap.

“Hey,” Eren said as he had been waiting at the door for her.

“Hey,” Mikasa replied as she pulled off her leather jacket. She was wearing a sparkly black dress that Historia had picked out. They had gone shopping right before Historia went off to the Alps. It hugged every curve of her body.

“You look….” Eren gulped. “You look amazing, Mikasa.”

Mikasa felt her cheeks heating up as she looked down. “Thank you.” She hung up her jacket on the coat rack.

Once again, Eren’s hand slipped into hers.

There was something oddly comforting about the gesture.

“How was camp?” Eren asked as he led her to the kitchen.

Mikasa groaned.

“That bad?”

”The younger kids were great. It was the thirteen year olds that refused to think about anything but themselves. I ended up on the ice, scoring goals against both sides while they fought among themselves. I think I failed this experiment,” Mikasa sighed. “Gabi broke her clipboard after one session. Apparently two of the girls were dating the same boy, and a fight broke out. We had to call their parents,” Mikasa sighed again.

“You should talk to Zeke about the Warriors camp they held over the summer. It was much worse,” Eren assured her.

“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t know. I’m just looking for what I should be doing instead of burning through my trust fund and savings. I want to do something. I just don’t know what.”

Eren pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge for himself and a bottle of beer for Mikasa.

Mikasa raised an eyebrow.

“I’m driving back home tonight. We have practice on the second. I’d rather spend the day not driving and doing nothing,” Eren explained. He twisted the top off of the beer and handed it to her.

“Want to take me home then?”

“Why do you think I’m not drinking, Ackerman?” He grinned at her.

Mikasa shook her head as she raised the bottle to her lips, taking a drink as Eren stared at her. There was something in that look. Something foreign she didn’t recognize.

“So does everyone here know….?” She trailed off.

Eren shook his head. “But if you don’t want to pretend tonight…in case you’re trying to get that midnight kiss, I can probably smuggle someone out back for you.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes.

“What? You have needs.”

”Kissing someone at midnight is not one of those. Besides, I can take care of myself, Jaeger.” She raised the bottle to her mouth, taking another swig.

“By yourself?”

Mikasa laughed.

Their conversations were turning suggestive more and more. But it was to be expected. Eren had said he was attracted to her. Mikasa found him attractive as well. They had this whole rivalry, annoyance, whatever this was, chemistry.

It was a dangerous line to walk.

The music from the other room had been turned up.

“Dance with me?” Mikasa asked as she sat her beer on the kitchen counter.

Eren took a drink of water before setting it on the counter next to her beer.

His hand slipped back into hers as he led her to the living room. The furniture had been moved around. Pieck was dancing with Jean while Sasha was sandwiched in between Niccolo and Connie. Gabi was dancing with Falco. Colt was with his girlfriend. He smiled at Eren and Mikasa.

The beat invaded Mikasa’s body, Eren’s other hand was on her waist as he spun her around so that her back was pressed up against his front as they moved to the beat.

She could see Levi and Zeke playing beer pong in the other room but when Eren’s mouth ghosted over her ear, that was forgotten. She looked up to see those green eyes staring at her.

Staring at her like they were the only two people in this whole fucking house, city, world. He was looking at her like she was his world.

And that scared the shit out of her.

“You’re thinking too much,” he said directly into her ear.

“I’m not,” Mikasa argued.

”Liar. You and Levi have the same look when you’re thinking.”

”The Ackerman Stare?” She scoffed.

”No. It’s when you’re assessing, deciding the exact way to destroy your opponent. It’s only for a moment and it’s brief. But I’ve watched enough highlight reels of Levi to recognize it. Look, this doesn’t have to mean anything. I just want to have fun with you tonight. If I made you uncomfortable..”

”You didn’t,” Mikasa turned so she was facing him now but she did not stop dancing. “We’re friends, right? Friends can joke around. Friends can dance.”

For a moment, something flashed in Eren’s eyes but just as quickly as it was there, it was gone. “Of course, we’re friends.”

Mikasa nodded. “Then don’t stop dancing with me.”

And Eren didn’t. He danced with her until she was tired and needed a break.

—————-

Being that close to Mikasa was absolutely dangerous.

Zeke had slipped outside to smoke.

Eren found himself joining his brother.

Eren didn’t smoke that often.

But tonight, he needed the nicotine in his veins. Needed something to drown out the desire pumping through his veins.

Mikasa was talking to Sasha. The other woman was animated in whatever story she was telling Mikasa.

Zeke had slipped back inside while Eren finished the rest of his cigarette.

The door opened.

Eren wasn’t surprised as Mikasa joined him on the back patio.

”Strangely warm for December,” Mikasa stated.

”Not the worst thing about climate change,” he answered as he stomped on the cigarette.

”It’ll be midnight soon. The countdown will be starting. I figured it would be weird if I was in there,” she shrugged.

“Sorry. I just needed…”

”I get it. You also have needs,” Mikasa echoed his words back as she stepped towards him.

“That’s not the problem.”

The problem was that he wanted her.

Showing up in that dress that hugged every curve, where he could see those glorious legs of hers. Every asset perfect. She was fucking perfect.

And Eren?

He broke things.

Destroyed them.

The countdown was starting inside.

Mikasa was right there.

They were so close in height, even more so in those heels.

Would she pull away if his lips touched hers?

What would she taste like?

He couldn’t breathe as she leaned forward, eyes closing.

Happy New Year!

Mikasa’s lips touched his tentatively.

Then just as quickly as Mikasa was kissing him, she was gone.

Eren just stared at her.

He should say something.

Anything.

Then thunder cracked and it started to rain.

They both ducked inside.

Mikasa slipped away from him.

Zeke found Eren, just standing there.

”What happened?” Zeke asked.

”She kissed me.”

“That’s good, right?”

”I don’t know.”

And Eren really didn’t.

—————

Stupid.

It was absolutely stupid of her to kiss Eren fucking Jaeger.

So Mikasa spent the next hour watching Sasha play beer pong with Jean against Connie and Niccolo.

Then Eren came over. “You still want me to take you home?”

Mikasa nodded.

They said their goodbye before getting into his car.

The ride was silent all the way back to the apartment and in the elevator.

Once Mikasa was facing her door, she finally spoke.

”I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I just thought…I got the wrong idea.”

”You could have given me a chance to respond,” Eren said from across the hall.

Mikasa turned around.

He was leaning against his door, arms crossed across his chest. “You seem to decide a lot of things for me lately. You don’t have to apologize for kissing me, Mikasa. I was the one who initiated it last time.”

“Right the club,” Mikasa remembered.

”We didn’t kiss then. I kissed your neck but that wasn’t the first time we kissed,” Eren confessed. “Did you forget?”

Mikasa’s jaw dropped. “You remember me.”

”Of course, I fucking remember you. You never forget your first. And next time you kiss me, actually kiss me,” Eren turned around, unlocked his door, and slipped inside.

Mikasa just stood there in the hall.

#my writing #mine #totallypucked

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humblemediagenius · 5 months

Note

HI can you tell me about zeke and luna i want to know about them

OKAY OKAY IM GONNA ANSWER THIS AND THEN GO TO BED BC I LOVE ZEKE AND LUNA . !!!

They’re part of a mini-story called Imitation of Life, which takes place in an alternate version of rackethill (where outcast chaos takes place; but they’re seperate stories that dont take place in the same timeline, so they don’t have much overlap). it’s a comedy/horror slice of life story that operates on loose sitcom rules (certain things “reset” every day).

zeke and luna are parasites who are (very badly) attempting to blend in with human society by living in *dead* human hosts. they both have extremely questionable morals and in general are very weird, but they’ve opened up to humans and enjoy spending their time exploring and learning about this strange place they’re stuck living in. they get into extremely wacky hijinks when they have to act “normal” because, well… neither of them are very normal.

zeke seems pretty level-headed on the outside; he’s logical and cautious, a bit nervous about being found out, and is very monotone and no-nonsense. he’s very studious and book smart, constantly reading to learn about human history and society. however, he has a sociopathic streak and finds humans to be disposable, and will happily kill and infect humans in the name of “studying them”. he’s eerily confident when he’s killing, he likes feeling in control and more powerful over the humans he’s been forced to live amongst. after all, he’s a parasite literally stuck in a host he would rather not be in— so he takes it out on others to feel something. he has very low empathy in general, but is slowly working his way towards being kinder and less cruel to people. he’s scared of and uninterested in humans, so he tries avoiding going out as much as possible— he doesn’t know what would happen if he was found out and he doesn’t want to know anytime soon. as a result, he’s very sheltered. however, luna often brings him out of his comfort zone, which has forced him to put up with (and eventually grow to appreciate) humans and earth as a whole. he’s bad with managing his emotions and can come across as very cold and unfeeling, when in reality he just struggles to express them. he’s a lot more like humans than he’d like to admit, which is why he’s been cooling it on the murder thing— but he’d never, ever admit it out loud.

luna seems like a total freak on the outside— because they are. they’re crude, gross and rowdy, they love to spread mischief, and in general they have no sense of boundaries. they’re like if you gave the mean older brother sitcom trope alien parasite abilities. luna hates pretending to be human, and loves pushing their limits, such as eating things they should not and getting into comically dangerous situations. they also very happily commit murder, finding the thrill of the kill to be very fun (arguably they like it more than actually killing people). they’ll take any chance they can get to weird people out. they feel like humans only see them as an evil freak due to their nature as a parasite, so they’ve decided to live up to this reputation. however, they don’t always like it, and they long for friends who don’t judge them for being a parasite. they’re very social and love to explore and try new things, so they bring zeke along on wacky escapades to new places or experiences. they like meeting new people, but due to their crass nature and fear of getting found out they tend to push people away not long after befriending them. but in general they have much more empathy than zeke does and they’re more open about their love for earth. they also are an extremely skilled electric guitar player and singer, and has found their calling performing music in their free time when they’re not out exploring or watching memes on their phone.

zeke and luna are (and always have been) a package deal; there is never, ever one without the other. they are in a very passionate and surprisingly tender romantic relationship, and they absolutely adore each other. opposites really do attract, love wins!!! they’re both very protective over each other and will get sad if they are seperated for more than a minute or two, so they do EVERYTHING together. they don’t have many other friends, either, aside from their boss (they work as part time librarians), fellow parasite devon, and luna’s host’s brother. but even then, those are more like… acquaintences to them. zeke and luna feel like its them against the world, and they’re not going down without the other with them. guhgghghh i love them so much they kiss kiss fall in love in my head on the daily. they’re very sweet.

they’re both horrible people but they’re still struggling with their identities, trying to navigate an unknown world, and honestly just trying to survive. they’re more scared of humans than you’d think, despite how they brag that they’re “better”. and most of all they love each other and love learning. they’re kind of evil, but kind of not. the plot is mostly about them becoming better people the more solid of a grip they get on who they want to be. also the people they kill dont stay dead because of sitcom rules. i love them so much. todays their birthday. i have cried over them before and will probably do it again . goodnight tristate area

#seaspeak #oc tag #ask #oh god this was long im so sorry #but zekeluna has lots of stuff #this isnt even all the lore this is just a taste of it #zeke and luna save meeeeeeeee…………

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spiteless-xo · 1 year

Note

hello tiff!! 🫶🏼

I am wondering wtf Eren does when he gets home from work and who he has been hanging out with since his fight with Jean!! I feel like he is just as isolated as reader (maybe even more so) since Armin lives far away and is pretty busy.

was he hanging out with Floch? istg😭

I was also thinking about how amazing it would be to have something like ‘midnight sun’ from the twilight series for tbaw Eren.

Like can we just hear all his intrusive thoughts pls and his daily notions??? 😭

hello!! 🥰💗

tysm for your question!! but unfortunately, i can't say much, because we'll find out what he's been doing in upcoming chapters and i don't wanna spoil it 👀

but in university (after jean), he was primarily friends with armin, the hockey guys, and zeke. it's not until he cut things off with zeke that he scaled back a little with his other toxic friendships. he's clearly still friends with floch through work, but that might just be a convenience thing? and he's been talking with armin, so he's not TOTALLY alone, but yeah he's definitely also a lil isolated 🥺 he's got other things going on tho. maybe.

omg a midnight sun tbaw would be so fun!! but i think you all would really hate both jean and eren in arc 1 if the story was told from their perspective 💀 you'd hear all eren's gross fuckboy thoughts in the beginning and jean's head is fucking mess tbh all of the chapters would be so repetitive for him 💀💀

arc 2 you already have a lot of eren's pov, but same as arc 1, jean would be insufferable.

arc 3 we have a lot of jean's pov now, and eren's would just be like depression 😭

you know that one part in new moon?? i think?? where edward breaks up with bella and there's like five pages that are just blank except for "January, February, March," or whatever? that would be eren's pov rn 😭

#tiff.ask #tbaw.fic #aot

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akicult · 2 years

Text

really hot features they have/things they do

ft: zeke, eren, levi, armin, reiner.

content warning: NSFW! drabble?? i guess?? idk. i just wanted to talk about how hot they are so here’s my excuse. me obsessing over facial hair?? didn’t realize i was into that until just now. voyeurism, oral (m&f receiving), probably missing some.

a/n: hii i finally got over my stupid writers block so i’m happy to be posting. also…all of these hcs have some kind of theme to them but i can’t really figure out what that is so i have zero idea what to title this drabble lol. also send me asks, i love writing them <33

zeke

- he’s the kind of guy who wear boxer shorts. only occasionally does he wear briefs, he just likes the light feeling it has on his body.

- happy trail. a nice blonde patch of hair just below his belly button that strays down.

- and you already know he shows it off.

- boxers are low on his waist, v-line and happy trail VERY much in view every morning when he climbs out of bed.

- his morning voice ugh.

- it’s deep and raspy from a long night of disuse plus he definitely woke up to smoke a cigarette a few hours before so that adds to the raspiness.

- just imagine him rolling over and wrapping his arms around you, burying his face in your neck and whispering a quiet, “good morning.”

- he keeps his beard trimmed, however still very much a nice thick beard.

- every once in a while he’ll shave but only because he likes the feeling of your hands rubbing against his chin to feel how smooth it is.

- tease him about it too. he may act cocky in front of everyone else but he’s so smitten when it comes to you.

- he absolutely hates the growing out process though.

- only thing that makes it worth it is eating you out while he’s got short stubble. he knows it drives you wild, and it drives him wild seeing you like that.

- hickeys on your thighs you already know. you cant even remember the last time there wasn’t one on your thigh.

- head pusher but not in a gross way, more like “c’mon, you know you can do better then that” way.

- “good fucking girl,” while groaning and tipping his head back too. he isn’t afraid to be audible. he wants you to know how good you’re making him feel.

eren

- he loves, and i mean loves, waking you up by kissing your body.

- any kind of kisses. wet and sloppy? yes. small little pecks against your bare stomach? yes, absolutely yes. hickeys, even? you know it.

- if you stay asleep even while he’s doing so, he’ll crawl up to your ear and just whisper “wake up,” over and over again in a low voice.

- loves running his fingertips up and down your back.

- his happy trail is thick. it doesn’t go all the way up to his belly button but it’s definitely prominent if his pants are lower on his waist.

- he’s a titty grabber lmfao.

- whether you’ve got small, medium, large, whatever, he’s sliding his hand under your shirt, burying his face in your neck and just squeezing.

- is it endearing? sure. he honestly just likes the feeling.

- now…here’s the time i talk about cabin eren.

- dear god, cabin eren. his best era if i do say so myself.

- he loves the feeling of your fingers rubbing his undercut. it feels so good his eyes even roll back sometimes. especially when you do it while he’s eating you out.

- …imagine undercut eren with hobo eren facial hair are u fucking KIDDING MEEE????????

- you’ll tease him about the little stubble sometimes, knowing full well you’re obsessed with it feels against your skin.

- he shaves though. personally he isn’t a huge fan or the facial hair, so him with and without doesn’t really effect you.

- he still knows how to please you even without the added sensation.

levi

- if you want a man who’s very well groomed, then he’s your guy.

- realistically, i feel like he has a nice lean body with a slightly toned chest. i imagine him and armin having very similar body types.

- he doesn’t have a happy trail, but he does have a nice, obviously well kempt patch of pubic hair right around his dick.

- showering with you is his favorite thing, and i mean favorite thing to do with you.

- whether it’s just being together, enjoying each other’s company, or rough sex against the shower wall; he doesn’t care.

- ur water bill is high but just ignore that LOL

- he’s obsessed with the feeling of your skin wet and soapy under his fingers. how smooth and clean it looks.

- c’mon, it’s obvious this man loves clean things.

- he doesn’t have any facial hair. not even stubble. literally nothing lol. but his very soft, smooth skin feels just as good as anything else so no worries there.

- he also couldn’t possibly be insecure for not having facial hair. even if he’s aware that you like that kind of thing, he doesn’t give a shit.

- he’s not a cuddler, so if he wakes up before you he’ll just end up laying there until you wake up. if he gets bored he’ll just end up making you both breakfast.

- and if you still aren’t up, then he’ll walk back into the room and carefully shake you awake. LMFAO sorry he just will 🤷‍♀️

- if you wake up before him however, you’ll be the one who rolls over on top of him and kissing him everywhere until he wakes up.

- he’ll never admit it, but he loves when you do that. affection isn’t his strong suit, he relies on your affection a lot. and that’s how he shows he loves you.

armin

- armin has a happy trail, and can i just say he has the prettiest happy trail.

- it’s mostly a patch of blonde hair that peeks right above his underwear line, and just gets progressively thinner until it reaches a little lower then his belly button but it’s there and oh god it’s the hottest thing ever.

- he used to think it was weird, so he would shave it until you ended up telling him it was really sexy.

- it surely confused him, but anything to make you happy makes him happy. plus it saves some time in the shower.

- he loves burying his face in your chest whenever you cuddle. it’s his favorite thing to wrap his arms around your waist and lay with his head on your chest.

- 9/10 times he’s going to fall asleep like this.

- once again, he has no facial hair. he does however have very nice soft skin, probably oily as well which leads to him having some acne.

- he’s insecure about it. assure him it’s absolutely no issue and it’s kind of cute, and he’ll melt in your hands.

- kisses your hands a lot. that and your head.

- he’s a kiss fiend. he’ll kiss every single part of your body and not an inch goes unnoticed. OBSESSED with your body.

- boxer briefs kinda guy! they’re comfy, and he looks hot as fuck in them.

- as much as he does enjoy sex with you, his favorite most intimate thing he loves to do is just laying in bed talking about anything & everything together.

- he could talk to you until sunrise. he just wants to know everything about you.

reiner

- he’s so affectionate. so mf affectionate. never even allows a moment of insecurity to invade your mind because he’s on it to send that thought away.

- he always wakes up before you and whether it’s a week day or weekend, he’ll either roll over and bury himself in your neck or wake up and make you breakfast in bed.

- soft and delicate kisses all along your neck right when he wakes up. probably to soothe the bites and hickeys he left the night prior lol.

- happy trail happy trail happy trail u already know muhahaha.

- dark blonde hair in a nice thick patch right above his underwear line leading straight to his belly button.

- if you’re kissing or something, absolutely bring your hand down there to tease him and he’ll go crazy.

- stubble 😈😈

- he’s tried, but he just can’t grow a real beard. lucky for you…stubble feels the best.

- when he shaves, (which is very rare) he’ll make sure to shave as evenly as possible just so his hair grows back the same.

- i’m ngl, this dude is into voyeurism. loves watching you masturbate.

- not just that but he also loves watching you get yourself off using his body. thigh riding, riding his chest, whatever. he’ll probably masturbate with u.

- also, much like zeke, he’s very vocal. he’s a moaner. a whimperer. a WHINER. amen.

- holds your hair back into a ponytail while you’re sucking him off.

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calebs-hangout-corner · 2 years

Text

Because I know I have some people following me who've only listened to the musical and haven't read it, I wanted to share some fun tidbits of the book of Phantom of the Auditorium that I like or just want to mention!

- Brooke has chestnut brown hair and Zeke has blonde hair. I only mention this because most official artwork for the musical and even the TV show depicts Brooke as blonde.

- Zeke wears Kermit the Frog pyjamas and gets really red when Brooke tells people this.

- Some girls think Zeke is cute, but Brooke never thought of him that way.

- Brooke once let a gebril loose in the teacher's lounge.

- Brooke and Zeke met when they were 3 because their mom's are in the same bowling league and discovered they lived on the same street with Zeke living only a few houses down from Brooke.

- Brooke has a younger brother named Jeremy whom she likes to scare on occasion.

- Zeke has an older brother named Rich who drives Zeke and Brooke around when he isn't grounded (he's always grounded).

- Zeke has a dog named Buster who is super sus of Brian because animals in the gb universe (usually dogs) can tell when someone is a ghost.

- Brooke's mother is always scared she'll get run over by a bus. Brooke doesn't know why. She doesn't even know anyone who got run over by a bus.

- Brooke changes her mind constantly, Zeke says it drives him crazy.

- Tina is a grade above the trio.

- Brooke doesn't know why Tina doesn't like her, they hardly know each other.

- While Tina is Brooke's understudy, Zeke's understudy is a boy named Robert Hernandez. Brooke describes him as way too serious and nowhere near as fun as Zeke. He doesn't get her jokes and doesn't like to joke around.

- Esmeralda's father is played by a boy named Corey Sklar, who has the same haircolor as Brooke and also wears glasses.

- Brooke can't think of mean or nasty stuff to say even when she tries because she just isn't a mean or nasty person.

- Zeke, Brooke and Brian actually break into the school at night twice. The first time they discover the backdrop Brian worked so hard on is ruined. The second is when they go down the trapdoor again.

- Brooke has horrible stage fright that leads to panic-inducing nightmares that she overcomes by the time of the actual performance.

- Brooke has bad allergies and is allergic to nearly everything. Zeke made a game out of it to count how many times she sneezes. However, her allergies and sneeze attacks is what leads Emile to find out they're in the tunnels.

- Speaking of Emile, he has a huge, deep, purple scar across his eye.

- The trio believes they're locked in when they're in Emile's hideout at first, but then realize they were just pushing a pull door.

- Brian wears sweatpants and a red flannel that's too big.

- Brian never unmasks himself to Brooke in the book, instead, he leaves a yearbook of 1920 in her locker which he leaves open.

- That part is important as it's established at the beginning of the book that her locker's lock always jams, meaning it can't be left open on accident.

- Zeke is the only person allowed to call Brooke "Brookie".

- Zeke does his math homework in the classroom before class starts.

- Zeke's dad is the mayor of Woods Mill.

- Esmeralda is in almost every scene of the show, which doesn't help Brooke's stage fright at all.

- While his name Raoul in the musical in reference to the name of the "boyfriend" character of Phantom of the Opera, Esmeralda's boyfriend is named Eric in the book as a reference to the Opera Ghost's real name "Erik"

- Zeke has freckles that he hates, but Brooke says they're barely visible.

- Brooke hates her glasses, openly stating that she wished they would disappear. She says they make her look nerdy.

- Brooke can flip her eyelids up so that they stay that way, a really gross talent that makes people scream and gag that Zeke isn't phased by anymore.

- During the scene where the Phantom first appears on stage and scares Brooke, the only reason Brooke starts to seriously freak out in the first place is because she notices Zeke waving at her from further away backstage, meaning the person shaking her in the Phantom attire isn't Zeke. When she calls for help, she is just told that her line is different from what she's saying.

- Tina is exclusively nice to Brian and Brian only.

- According to Brooke's narration, the play didn't get weird until the end of the first act, when the Phantom first appears. Since Brian vanished after that scene, it implies that there is a second act we never got to see in which Zeke continued to play the Phantom.

- In the book, Brooke rips the mask off the Phantom while they're still on stage, leading Brian to cover his face and tumble backwards into the trapdoor, screaming on the way down as he died all over again for good this time.

- Brooke is absolutely not okay after that.

- Like, not at all.

- Brooke and Zeke go look for him in the tunnels to no avail.

- There's a cast party we never get to see because the story stops before we get there.

#goosebumps #goosebumps the musical #goosebumps phantom of the auditorium #phantom of the auditorium #listen #i just really love this book #i've read it cover to cover a LOT #I'm sure there's stuff I forgot to mention #there's a scene where Zeke runs away crying angrily after the paintbucket incident and Brooke calls after him #asking if he's not gonna walk her home #and he turns around and yells ''no!'' and Brooke is kind of glad because she honestly didn't know what she could've said to him #AND HONESTLY #god #someone give Zeke a hug PLEASE #Brooke too #they go through sO MUCH #they're so DEVISTATED #the tense scenes are written really really well and feel so real #Brooke growing hissy when she scared and Zeke covering his fear with jokes is honestly just so good #LIKE #THEY FEEL LIKE PEOPLE #I LOVE THE WAY THIS BOOK IS WRITTEN SO MUCH

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ererokii · 4 years

Note

HI AHEM CAN I REQUEST A PORCO SCENARIO USING THE PROMPT: “Are you blushing? Gross.” THANKS MWAH 🥰🥰

HI YES U CAN MISS SHAN🥺I HOPE U LIKE IT

Unedited ft Jealous Porco, does contain some spoilers for aot season 4

God how could you be standing around him, smiling and laughing? Wha- Did you just put your hand on his arm? What the hell are you doing?

Porco’s hand clenched in his jacket’s pocket, dark hues watching your movement. He chews on the inside of his cheek when he sees the smallest smile showing on Reiner’s face.

Fucking prick.

Porco clears his throat as he turns around in his chair, picking up his sandwich and angrily biting it. His mind wanders off as he enjoys the taste of the meat, swallowing it before biting again. He’s still angry, but this food is able to take his mind off.

The shifter knows you wouldn’t do something-

But that doesn’t mean he has to think the same about Reiner. The blond just riles him up in ways he can’t imagine since warrior training. If the armored wasn’t taken away from him because of Marcel, then maybe, just maybe Porco could like Reiner.

But no.

Oh to be given another shot to get his knuckles across one more time will leave Porco at peace forever; he smiles faintly at the thought, nodding his head slightly to agree with himself as he looks out the window.

“Okay Reiner! That’s all I need so I can tell the commander! I think Zeke was looking for you outside with Colt.”

Porco’s heart drops when he hears Reiner say he missed talking to you. You never talked much, does that-

“What are you talking about?” porco suddenly blurts, turning around with bread crumbs resting on his cheeks. “What do you mean by that, Reiner?!”

Reiner is taken aback as he holds the papers close to his chest, eyes blown up in the slightest at his outburst. “What do you mean?”

“Porco remember you were away?” you interrupt the building argument, walking away from Reiner to where Porco was seated at. “The war? The one you just came back from?”

Before he can open his mouth to talk, Reiner awkwardly clears his throat and begins to backtrack his steps until he reaches the door. “I’ll just head out. Galliard, Y/N,” he nods in your direction before opening the door, closing it behind him once he leaves.

It's silent between you and your lover; already knowing an argument might start from his fruitless thinking.

“Porc-”

He immediately shoves the rest of his uneaten sandwich in his mouth, cheeks puffed up as he chews, avoiding your stare. However, your gaze doesn’t move as you turn your body to face him entirely, looking down at him.

“Porco.”

“Hm?” he hums, noticing your gaze through his peripheral vision. His fingers are itching to grab a hold of yours, but something tells him by that look on your face, that you don’t feel the same.

“What was that about?”

“What was what about?” he answers once he swallows his food, yawning into his hand as he leans back on the chair, shutting his eyes.

“Reiner.”

“What about that idiot?”

“I think the idiot here is you. What was that about? Why’d you get mad at him?”

“He knows what he was doing,” he mutters, pursing his lips at how idiotic he sounds right now.

“And that was?” you continue. Porco could be such a pain in the ass when it came to his emotions, it was one of the things you hated about him.

He sighs, opening one eye to peek up at you. “I’m jealous.”

Huh?

“Jealous? Of Reiner?” you ask again for clarification, to which he nods in return. “B-But..why?”

“Do I really need to answer? He got so fucking close to you. He knows I’m in the room, yet he continued to do so. That bastard is trying to do it again,” he grumbles the last part, sitting straight up on the chair as his feet slam on the wooden floor, a creaking noise occurring.

“..does this have to do with the Armored titan again?”

He’s silent. There’s his answer.

“Porco,” you begin, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging his head to your torso. His body relaxes upon touch, nuzzling his head in the valley of your breasts.

“You know I only love you. I don’t want to date Reiner. I’m yours, okay?”

The slightest amount of pink dusts his cheeks, a hum emitting from his lips as he stares at you for a second before looking away. “I still don’t like it..”

“..Porco, are you blushing?”

“Gross. You know I don’t blush.”

#porco x reader #porco Galliard x reader #Galliard x reader #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on Titan x reade #shingeki no Kyojin x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #porco imagines #porco Galliard imagines

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erwinsvow · 3 years

Note

im one hate comment away from liking zeke

hi baby i hope you've been well in my semi-hiatus but i'm back and better than ever and ready to convert you my love so buckle in

to complete this little trilogy today we'll be talking about zeke's massive, huge, coke-can dick. besides the fact that it's the prettiest shade of light pink, besides the bulbous head that's a few shades darker, more in the mauve category, there's so much to talk about. it's not super veiny, there's two or three veins running down the side, one that's the scary looking one, with how prominent and heavy it looks, almost throbbing painfully when he's fully hard and when you're being a teasing little slut. that vein and the thick swell of his cockhead is god's gift on earth when he has you dry humping in, bare pussy on his bare cock, it can make you see stars in minutes. zeke's dick is framed by a bush of light blond hair, in my canon divergent universe it follows a hairy, messy happy trail and is the same as the hair on his chest, just a little rougher. when you're giving him morning head and the light hits your bed the right way it's like a little halo above his dick :( speaking of seeing god, zeke has you there within minutes. he has technique and skill and stamina, but something about the curve of his dick when he's pounding you (doggy, his favorite) is enough to push you over the edge. he likes to cum on your face because he's gross but he likes when you cum around his dick, clenching down hard and screaming out stupid stuff because you're so lost from him fucking you. like mindless, fucked stupid, moaning his name and 'harder' and 'don't stop' and 'oh my god' and meanwhile the bastard's laughing like 'yeah, i am a god'

stupid cocky huge dicked handsome love of my life zeke :(

#did i convert you baby #📮 asks

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dancingazaleas · 3 years

Text

𖨆. 03 / all for us

summary: you’ve been gone for a while and haven’t been replying to any of your texts messages. you’re friends suspect something might be up.

note: the reader has been left alone continuously ever since she has been kidnapped. erwin and levi are the only ones who see her, and it’s usually only for an hour or two. this is because of her reluctance to be around them.

taglist: @voltairelesecond @the-sun-baby @uniquepickle @baelo80

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: cursing, vomiting, your friends are looking for you

PIECK knew something was up whenever bertholdt said you weren't answering his texts and hadn't been showing up to work before you even went on vacation. she knew you were on vacation and that you were pissed with her, but even so you never ignored texts from bertholdt.

her suspicions only rose whenever porco and reiner told her the same thing, that you'd suddenly gone awol on the two of them out of nowhere.

they were confirmed when zeke came back into town and said the same thing.

she sits on her couch, shoulders shaking as she cries with porco's arms wrapped around her. reiner, bert, zeke, and annie, who reiner and bert brought for some reason, stare at her in complete worry.

you went awol just this sunday, telling each and everyone of them that you were going on vacation and wouldn't be in town for a little while. bertholdt hadn't seen you at work for almost three weeks now, two and a half of them after your sudden vacation.

"she can't be on vacation," pieck sobs, "she always answers your guys' texts. no matter what!"

"maybe she's just in a different country? she might just not be able to get reception," porco seems unsure as he says this.

"she can't be. she would've told me, pieck, or even bertholdt. god, she would've told all of us," zeke's head is in his hands while his teeth grind together.

"okay, so where would she be if she were still in paradis," annie speaks up while gesturing her arm in a circle.

"who fucking knows," reiner sighs, "when'd you last see her, babe?"

"at work before she stopped showing up. she said she was gonna get coffee at that one café she loves going to. other than that, she didn't say anything about plans or going out with anybody," bertholdt is laced with confusion and his arms are crossed.

"we got into a bad fight that night," pieck sniffles, "she left the house a few hours later, i just thought she was going to stay with one of you guys or yelena."

"what'd you even argue about?"

she grips at her hair with tears rushing down her face, "i can't even remember. it was probably so petty and stupid. the only thing i remember is her telling me that she hated me and me telling her that she was a fuck up."

"i'm so sorry, pieck," porco squeezes her shaky form tight to his chest.

"wait," zeke's standing up abruptly and pointing at bertholdt, "she went where?!"

"oh my god, she went to café scout!!! maybe the workers heard something," reiner perks up along with everyone else.

"holy shit, maybe that one girl is there!! she probably saw something," porco smiles.

"louise! she definitely knows (name)! she probably saw something! let's go," pieck jumps off of the couch and stumbles towards the front door of her house.

the rest of them follow after, all deciding that bertholdt's van, he's usually the designated driver, is the car they'll get into. they all yell at a fumbling bertholdt to hurry up and unlock the car as they stand at the car. he does so while screaming, jumping into the driver's seat and starting the ignition. reiner's jumping in the passenger seat and annie's in the first row of seats behind bert.

before porco can even close the door behind him, bertholdt is driving off towards the café. porco is screaming along with pieck as they're thrown around the van due to their lack of seatbelts and the both of them standing to sit in their seat. their screaming has everyone else screaming as bert speeds up the car despite the oncoming speed bump. bertholdt and reiner hit their heads against the roof of the car, a loud bang resonating throughout the vehicle. pieck and porco's back hit the roof as well, but luckily for pieck she lands on the first row of seats next to annie.

porco, unfortunately, lands on the floor. zeke would've laughed if it wasn't for his own head slamming against the carpeted roof of the van. annie holds onto pieck's arm whenever she's in a sitting position, screaming along with reiner for bertholdt to slow the car down as they see another speed bump.

he doesn't.

porco is once again thrown against the roof.

bertholdt is speeding, even as he gets onto the freeway with other cars. he's stressed out.

when they get there, they all wonder how the fuck bertholdt didn't even get pulled over and how the hell they even managed to survive. bertholdt cries out apologies as reiner and porco puke their guts out in the huge parking lot while annie gags and tries not to vomit at watching reiner and porco do it themselves. pieck is holding her hand and trying to cover her eyes while zeke manages to cover her ears and cringes at porco and reiner.

bertholdt's now sobbing at annie, profusely apologizing, even getting on all fours and begging for her forgiveness.

"how are you gonna get on your hands and knees for annie but not for your boyfriend," porco coughs before he spits out saliva to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

reiner follows behind him in a grimace, hand grabbing at his now emptied stomach and the other going to wipe at his mouth.

"dude, gross!! don't wipe it off with your hands!! pieck and bertholdt usually have tissues on hand," porco shouts to reiner, who drops his hand halfway.

pieck and zeke comfort the emetophobe annie all while bertholdt gives reiner and porco tissues and a breath mint. he gives them hand sanitizer as well, and throws a pack of peppermint frost gum at the two of them, clogging his nose up.

they scoff but oblige, both now looking somehow decent and also smelling it. pieck's calming down a shaking annie, who's buried herself in pieck's warm arms, and zeke stands to the side awkwardly.

porco and reiner rush to the order counter when they all step inside, ordering instead of asking the cashier for the employee they were looking for. annie, who's now calm, pushes them aside harshly.

"ignore them, is that girl louise working today? we need to talk to her," she asks and the poor cashier is terrified at annie's deadpan face.

"n-no!! sh-she should be at home!!"

"give me her address," annie starts to lean her front over the counter, almost pushing the poor girl into a heart attack.

she grabs a napkin and a pen, hurriedly scribbling down louise's address and running off into the back.

"we can get food on the way there," annie shrugs nonchalantly, "preferably wendy's or something."

————

bertholdt and pieck almost feel bad for the poor girl whenever she answers the door.

with annie's glare piercing into her and zeke's towering over her, they were sure she'd pissed herself.

"y-yes... what do you need," she digs her nails into the door.

pieck shoves them both aside and steps forward, louise lights up with recognition.

"don't worry, they aren't gonna hurt you," she waves her hand, completely ignoring how they both still glare at louise even over pieck's shoulder, "i just need to ask you something."

"what is it?"

"have you seen (name) lately? the girl who usually come in with me."

"last time i saw her was around a few weeks ago," louise shrugs, "wait, did she go missing?!"

"yea, we're trying to figure out where she was last on the night of her disappearance. did she say anything to you...? anything at all," pieck steps forward with a desperate hand on her heart.

"she said something about going drinking with two friends... something about them being blonde and short," she scratches at her temple, slight pout on her face, "that's all i can remember."

"did she say what bar," pieck steps closer again, putting her hand on the door frame.

louise shakes her head sadly, eyes dropping down to their feet.

with that, pieck broke into tears again and was led away by porco and annie. the rest of them followed behind, leaving louise inside her home.

"she has to be somewhere," pieck cries into her hands, "she has to be!!"

zeke's got a hand on his forehead while he loosely holds onto his glasses with his other hand. he lets out a choked out sob, and everyone turns to him.

"zeke... are you... crying?" reiner turns to look at zeke over his shoulder.

"fuck.. yea. it just doesn't make sense. she's gotta be somewhere," he rubs the bridge of his nose.

"maybe the guys louise mentioned know something...," bertholdt inserts as he looks in the rear view mirror.

the statement has pieck shouting at the meek boy, "we don't know what they look like!!! all we know is that one is blonde and one is short! we're at a dead end! we're fucking stuck!!!"

bertholdt visibly flinches in his seat while his throat clogs up, hands gripping at the steering wheel. his eyes are welling up with tears that he doesn't let out. reiner's hand is on his arm in comfort, eyebrows bunched up in concern.

pieck wails once more, "god, i'm so sorry bertl. this isn't your fault. you were trying to help."

he sniffles, "it's fine. i understand. we're all just upset and desperate to find (name)."

"we'll find her soon enough."

————

the loneliness is getting to your head.

you're in the secluded dark even during the day.

you just crave to be with someone, so much that you're getting desperate.

a tug at erwin's sleeve has him stopping and turning back to face you. you've got tears spilling over your cheeks and snot running into your mouth while you lean on an elbow to hold onto his sleeve for dear life.

it's not even nighttime, it's early afternoon. erwin had just come into the room to feed you lunch and to just leave after that. but you couldn't handle it anymore. being alone made everything dark and silent.

even if the lights and televisions were turned on.

"please," you beg and rest your forehead against his arm, "please don't leave me alone."

erwin's cheeks are lighting up while his eyes widen. his hand comes up to stroke the back of your head as it now rests on his hip. he doesn't mind the wet spot forming on his pants, this was the first time you ever initiated anything.

"i won't, darling. i need to go put the tray in the sink and let levi know i will be in here," he's taking a step away from you, jumping at your sudden loud sobs and tugging.

"no! no! please, i don't want to be alone," your eyes are squeezed shut while you grip onto his pants for dear life.

"but i need to go put these dishes away. after that, i can—"

"no!" you scream and push your head harder against his leg, "no! please don't leave! i don't want you to leave."

he sighs, putting the tray of empty dish onto your bedside table. he grabs the room key out of back pocket before he picks you up bridal style.

"you run, levi'll break your legs," his fingers dig into your skin, but loosen at the frantic nod you give.

he manages to unlock your bedroom door in a complicated way, which you don't feel like questioning, and strolls outside of the room.

he goes out of your quarters, it's the furthest you've ever been. you're in a large room that connects into other rooms, the amount of doors is slightly overwhelming to you even as you look at them.

to your shock, you pass by people. living people.

they all seem to be staff, and the only sort of acknowledgement you get from them is a wide eyed stare with a dropped jaw.

"levi is still in his study, correct," he asks while shifting his hold on you.

a girl with ginger hair and auburn eyes speaks up, "yes sir! he requested no one to enter."

erwin nods and walks past the girl, who gives you a small friendly wave whenever you look out from erwin's arm.

you turn your attention back to erwin whenever you hear the sound of a door opening and closing.

you're in a new room, which is assumed to be levi's study, that's lighted up by the cloudy and grey natural light that shines through the blinds and windows. there are bookshelves on both sides of the room and you notice that on both bookshelves the order of the books goes from largest to smallest. levi sits at a desk in the middle of the room, facing the door, as his hand holding a pen runs across the paper.

"what do you need," levi looks up for a brief moment, but snaps his head up once more.

"what's the brat doing here," he motions to you in erwin's arms.

erwin's sitting you on a leather couch in the office, wiping away some tears with his thumbs. he steps away from you and takes ahold of levi by the arm, essentially dragging him to the door of the study.

the dawning realization that they're going to leave you alone has you tripping over your feet as you run to the door. your hand grips onto levi's shirt and you tug him towards you, pulling him away from the door.

"i don't want to be alone," you cry while shoving your face into levi's chest, he cringes at your snot and tears soaking through his shirt.

"oh," he blinks, awkwardly rubbing your back with his hand, "why'd you bring her here?"

"because she wouldn't let me leave to put her tray away, which i now need you to do. i'm going to get in the bath with her, which you are welcome to join if you'd like."

"i don't like baths, sitting in your own filth," he scrunches his nose up.

"to each their own," erwin shrugs, giving levi a kiss on his temple and grabbing ahold of your hand.

"come along, darling," he smiles at how quickly you intertwine fingers with him and join his side.

he leads you into a different bathroom than the one that you use. there's not much of a difference besides it size, the tub's size, and the long counter built for two.

"undress for me, love," his giant hands are massaging your shoulders before he pulls away and walks over to the tub.

you look to the bathroom door, only to find a doorknob with a keypad, something you didn't notice when you walked in, and frown. you just sigh and slip off the the pastel pink nightgown you were wearing, the fabric pooling around your feet as it drops to the floor.

you look up into the mirror, and you almost want to cry. you look nothing like yourself. you barely had any life behind those (eye color) eyes and your eyebrows were now naturally furrowed in sadness. you've got fading bruises on one side of your body, trailing downwards all the way to your calf.

you decide to take off your panties before you let your thoughts roam, stepping out of them after they've dropped to the floor.

you hear the door open, to which you and erwin look to. only it's not levi.

it's a young boy with ebony black hair and emerald green eyes that stands at 5'10.

you instinctively cover yourself up and turn your back towards him, embarrassing washing over you in waves.

erwin scrambles to block the boys view, who is seemingly enjoying it, and furrows his bushy brows.

"who are you and what are you doing here? where is levi?!"

"levi sent me sir. he gave me clothing for the girl and then said you would be in here," his eyes try to take a peek over erwin's shoulder.

erwin snatches the clothing out of his hand and slams the door shut in the boy's face. he scoffs in annoyance while he puts the clothes onto the counter, now focusing his attention onto you.

"i'm sorry about that, dear. are you alright," he puts a hand on your back and guides you to his chest.

"i'm okay," you sniff, "just wanna get in the bath now."

he smiles a bit, leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead before he steps away. you watch him rid himself of his white button up and try not to let your eyes bulge out at his body. however, you can't exactly resist the urge whenever erwin is finally naked.

erwin's stomach has abs carved into it, a well groomed happy trail leading to his cock. the thighs in his muscles and back are almost screaming out at you whenever he turns and lifts his hand to ruffle his hair.

you look down to his feet, feeling ashamed for even staring for so long.

he gets into the bath after a moment, knees spread wide for you to sit between. his arms are resting on the rim of the tub while he sighs at the hot temperature. you get in, goosebumps running up and down your body as the heat invades your colder body. you settle in between his legs and lean back against his chest, closing your eyes.

his arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him than you were before. you put a hand over his arm, silently giving him a message to keep his arms where they were.

his lips kiss at the crown of your head, and it seems sweet enough to where you think you might be able to smile. but you don't.

watching your eyes flutter, he mumbles into your hair, "the hot water make you tired?"

"yeah," you hum, "don't really like the hot outside of this. i prefer the cold."

"so does levi," erwin chuckles as he draws circles into your skin.

"does that mean you like summer?"

"no, i prefer fall or spring. both usually have the adequate temperature," he sighs.

"erwin," you ask after a few seconds, "why is levi so cold?"

"why are you only now asking?"

"i meant to ask sooner but i was never really... given the chance," you say bitterly.

"well, levi has been through a tough life. he almost went to jail before i met him. but it isn't my story to tell," he smiles at the memory.

you nod and finally let out a yawn, "i'm going to fall asleep soon."

from then, erwin washes the two of you so you both can get out of the bath. during this, you find out he's actually quite playful. he gathers up bubbly soap in his hands and blows them into your face, hearty laughs following immediately after.

he stands before you once you're out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his waist and one around your shoulders. you look up at him while he brushes your hair and puts on a few drops of lotion on your face.

you're trying to ignore the voice in the back of your head that maybe he really does care. because at the end of the day,

you still have a collar and chain on.

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afrival · 4 years

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AOT Characters’ Gas Station Orders

I— so this is another popular thing that I want to contribute to. This time featuring some of the Marleyans 😏🤚

mention of alcohol, smoking/vaping

modern au obvs (assuming they’re in the US)

Eren:

- Regular monster energy drink and like 3 teriyaki slim jims. Mint Juul pods 😥

- If he’s too late for school to get breakfast he might get a sausage biscuit or smth but like, the slim jims work too

Mikasa:

- The white monster energy drink (even though she fucking hates monster) and lays potato chips. She also buys Eren pods because he never has money 😐

- It all started when Eren started bringing her a monster every day and she felt too bad to tell him she doesn’t like them

Armin:

- Any bottled water except Dasani because he has standards, also probably gets Reese’s Pieces and is absolutely addicted to them

- If he’s driving and they stop at a gas station he will take everybody’s orders and pay for it all, but he forces them to pay him back because it totals out to be like 60 dollars

Jean:

- Diet Pepsi and beef jerky, claims that since it’s Diet Pepsi that he’s being healthier

- Everybody hates it whenever he eats beef jerky because he chews so obnoxiously

Sasha:

- SO MANY SNACKS. Cheetos, lays, every kind of doritos, chex mix, candy— like literally so much. Probably gets chocolate milk too

- She has a whole fucning stash in her car if just snacks she collects from every gas station she goes to. Like fr if you’re in her car you will never go hungry

Connie:

- Gunmy worm enthusiast, and gets class wit it by gettting apple juice. An actual eight year old feast basically

- Contributes to Sasha’s car snack stash sometimes but he definitely shoplifts it “by accident”

Ymir:

- Redbull and any kind of fruit. Absolutely loves the lemon and nectarine flavor, and particularly likes apples. Cigarettes 💀

- Buys Historia whatever the fuck the girl asks for

Historia:

- Flavored water or vitamin water, loves cherry flavored shit, also gets a SHITLOAD of gum

- Hates Ymir’s smoking habit but will buy her cigs if she needs any

Levi:

- Gets black coffee every fucking morning because the one he goes to doesn’t have tea and he’s got places to be

- Has kinda a sweet tooth I imagine so he would get like a blueberry muffin or plain donut, nothing too rich

Hange:

- Does not go to the gas station because she can not drive

- HOWEVER if Levi is driving and they stop at one she will get really shitty wine on special days and just drink out the bottle in the passenger seat. Probably forces him to buy her SunChips

Erwin:

- So many bottled waters and plain granola bars/protein bars. So many. He always has one, do NOT ask if he has something to eat unless you love oats

- Absolutely addicted to buying lottery tickets and gets so excited when he wins like 25 bucks on one

Reiner:

- Milk. He loves milk. Any kind really, but just good ol’ plain milk. Will get water in the mornings when before he goes on runs. Probably gets Bert a coffee (so much half n half) because mans doesn’t know how to use the coffee maker

- Gets a cheap pack of beer sometimes because he’s lowkey a fucking dad and likes watching tv while drinking on Saturday’s

Bertholdt:

- Those bigass slushees they have, absolutely will mix the flavors too. Also likes Slim Jim’s but just the regular kind

- Buys all of his phone chargers from the gas station for some reason

Porco:

- Not a big snack guy himself but he will buy his friends favorites to surprise them whenever they’re in the car with him

- Drank bang energy once and died so Pieck has forbidden him to have any energy drink ever again

Zeke:

- Beer and then drinks it outside the door and just watches people

- Will occasionally grab a hot dog because despite being so fucking gross he loves them. Puts a SHITLOAD of toppings on them too

#attack on titan #aot #shinjeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan headcanons #aot headcanons #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirschtien #sasha braus #levi ackerman #hange zoe #reiner braun #porco galliard #levi ackerman headcanons #eren jaeger headcanons #armin arlert headcanons #kenshcs

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youuuimeanmee · 3 years

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Eren Meta From 139

Many people believe chapter 139 butchered Eren's character because of this scene.

Because out of nowhere, Eren's motivation is to reach Mikasa's choice to satisfy Ymir's wish; thus, everything he said from the beginning about his motivation is all lies or meaningless.

No. And I'm no writing this to justify or condemn him. This post is more for myself, because I'm trying to understand his character.

Now let's see at his words. "All of it, was to arrive at that result. That's why I moved forward." What does he mean by it? Which actions?

This.

All the events, starting from ch 123-139, are going according to Ymir's wish.

Right after Eren told her to decide for herself.

She wants to end the world, at least 80% of it. She wants to push Eren's friends to stop him, even if they have to betray their nation. The Battle of Heaven and Earth, all of the clusterfucks in chapter 135-138 happens because it's Ymir's will to push Mikasa to make a choice. She chooses to end the titan curse after she gets to see what she wants.

Ymir did all of this, she watched all the events that unfold because Eren released her.

Then, what about Eren's will?

This is why I'm okay with the idea of Eren following Ymir; Eren doesn't have a reason to reject Ymir's wish because he got what he wants. He got the future he saw on the medal ceremony, the eradication of titans. He got the "freedom" to flatten the earth, and if his gamble paid off, he'd get his friends' safety; because they will become the world's savior after they stop him. It's a win-win situation, thus, putting him in a position where he becomes Ymir's ally and stands by her side.

The reason why Ymir chose Mikasa is not clear, but Eren had a hunch and it's something he could relate to; another reason for him to not object to Ymir's wish. It has something to do with that day when Mikasa practically confessed her love for him, the day where he could use the Founder's power for the first time. I leave this scene up to your interpretation.

What about Eren's will from before 123? What did he try so hard to achieve?

This scenery. Aside from the eradication of titans.

Here's the thing. Doesn't matter if fate favors you or not, you have to work hard to get what you want. To work hard, you need to know the reason. I take Isayama's artistic choice that the future memories he saw are fragments without context; he doesn't know why it happens the way it would. So, even if he saw the scenery, even if he saw the eradication of titans, why he has to go to hell first? Why he has to go through all of the suffering? Why he has to keep moving forward? He doesn't have to; but the world, destiny or whatever keeps feeding him reasons to move forward, until he reached a conclusion that the titan world is fucked up system and has been going for far too long. For Eren, this needs to end, and he wants to reach that scenery no matter what.

This is the man who saw how unforgiving the outside world is. The fact that a little girl got eaten by dogs just because she's an Eldia is proof that a subject of Ymir can never gain freedom, can never gain the privilege of human rights the way a normal human does. (I suggest you to read Gross' monologue from ch 87). The man saw how the world keeps pushing Paradis to be the source of evil without listening to what the other parties have to say. The man is manipulated to euthanize his own people as if Eldia doesn't deserve to be born. He saw the fucked up history of titans from 2000 years ago. He was so disappointed the world is not like in Armin's book, it's not like his ideal world. So he wants to wipe it away. He wants to bury the history and the civilization that created it, deep to the ground. He wants to destroy every last one of those animals, that's on this earth; titans or humans alike. He wants to leave the surface a blank plain. This is his ideal world, his freedom.

Eren said it himself. Even if he didn't know that his friends would stop him; even if it's not Ymir's will, he'd still trample the earth. To me, the reason why Eren commit genocide, the reason he said to Armin is no different than the reason he said to Zeke.

It's just the way he is ever since he was born.

A freedom seeker.

The wording is different with the receiver. With Zeke, it's different, because he's trying to make a point that this is who he is. But with Armin? He is going to die, with his best friend as his judge. He knew exactly why he wanted it: because he is free, ever since he was born. But somehow he couldn't say it outright with confidence. Maybe he's afraid to be judged as a monster by the person closest to him, or maybe he started to question his definition of freedom. Because to me, his eyes look like wonders.

Now. What is freedom? Many people believe that any acts out of violence is not freedom. But to Eren, that is freedom, his freedom. There's a meta that perfectly explains Eren's version of freedom, up until he did the rumbling. This is my highlight from that meta:

So freedom is the power of the individual to do as one wants. When you do something, you are imposing your internal desires onto the external world. If freedom is thus the power to impose your individual Will onto the outside world, then whoever has more power has more freedom.

This concept was highlighted when he told his friends in Paths that he's free to destroy the world and they're free to defend it; meaning that they're bound to clash, and they have to fight.

Freedom is not good. Nor is it bad. It is a force beyond good and evil, and that is precisely why it is terrifying. This, I believe, is why so many baulk at the idea that such a ruthless manipulator could be the avatar of freedom in this story. What I have always loved about SNK is how it delves ever deeper into its themes as the story goes on and discovers such fundamental paradoxes that your understanding of the idea is changed forever. If this is the horrifying face of freedom, perhaps we should not be free.

I don't know how much Isayama's involvement in this, but Grisha's commentary from the Lost Girls captures this concept perfectly.

For Eren, that "great power" is his own concept of freedom: A world without oppression. Doing what you want to do. He's free to protect his homeland by whatever necessary, whatever cost, and leave the rest of the world as an open plain.

Usually, the more we're obsessed with something, the more we stray from our humanity. After witnessing firsthand the vision-he-so-called-freedom, he doesn't know how to feel. He gets what he wants, but he's not happy at all, only the hollow scenery remains.

Eren realized how messed up he is, even before he did this. He tried to reach out to Mikasa that night after he saved Ramzi, to save his humanity left. It's one of the reasons why he asked her, "what is he to her?" Surely if he was loved –even after he killed those men when he saved her that day– would mean he's still human, right? And by running away with her, he could live in peace, maybe he could free himself from his obsession. But he's doing it so half-heartedly, that when everyone interrupted them, he just... let it go. He didn't bother to sneak with her or anything. He couldn't let go of the future he saw, he's losing himself to his desire/inner demon, to his obsession of freedom. Or maybe he's winning over his pathetic self so he could focus on what he needs to do? One could interpret this scene as Eren trying to break free from his obsession for "freedom." One could interpret this scene as Eren trying to break free from the shackles of his conscience. It's up to you.

Eren's outburst over Mikasa in this chapter is his pent-up feeling over her. It is, but after I write this meta, maybe it's more than that. It's because she's the proof of his humanity left. Many, many times, Mikasa is there to stop him from ruining himself. Mikasa's love creates a subconscious understanding that she will always be there for him. That's a part of her that he loves, and by feeling love, it means his humanity still exists. If Mikasa chooses to move on with another man, it means she will forget all the times they had together, she will forget the most human side of him. The only person who loves him as who he is, his home, would be lost. He would be lost. That idea scares him, even though he knows he doesn't deserve her love after everything he has done.

One more thing; another reason why Eren doesn't mind to be stopped, aside from Ymir's wish will get him what he wants –as I already explained. People argue that the conflict won't end until Paradis or the rest of the world remains; thus, Eren's half-hearted genocide is meaningless. No. No matter how angry he is that he wants to eradicate everything, he has enough maturity to understand, even back from the Battle of Trost, that humanity is far from united even if they're faced against a threat beyond human understanding. During the after-party night before the Battle of Shiganshina, he accepts that great power comes from joining ourselves together. We all need to find our own roles. Humans are created differently, because of times like this. By sparing the rest of the world, it keeps both Paradis and the world from collapsing. By keeping the diversity of people, someday it will open a path for peace because it's a part of human nature to try to understand each other; he learned it from the SC. Eren believes Armin could take him there, after he died. Maybe he forgot all of that because he's too caught up in his hate and anger up until 122, the same way he forgot back in the days.

Even if it's not explicitly explained in this chapter, I'd like to think that Eren got plenty of time to reflect on this matter when he did the Rumbling, to fill the emptiness he felt after he reached what he wants wanted.

Eren wins in the end, but at what cost? This chapter is calling out his tyrannical mindset, and it's great to see him realized his error, even if it's too late for him to go back.

Maybe this is what Isayama decided to focus on the last chapter, even if it's rushed. Maybe he (or his editor, idk) wanted the ending to focus on the protagonist's story about humans vs titans. The way Eren is so determined to wipe it out from this world, no matter how messed up his method, no matter how much he suffers, it doesn't matter if it's predestined or not. Because "freedom" is what he seeks ever since he was born. Because Eldia, every person deserves to be born in this world. Yes, every person, including everyone he killed. He knew the gravity of his action and choose to accept his death. Maybe it's the reason why Isayama doesn't delve into the aftermath of genocide further.

He wants the ending to be about Eren Yeager, The Attack Titan's journey about Attack. On. Titan.

#eren's character writing is still great in my eyes #or am i just too blind?#shingeki no kyojin #snk #snk spoilers #snk 139 #attack on titan #aot #aot 139 #aot spoilers #eren yeager #eren jaeger #snk meta #snk analyses

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ourmondobongo · 3 years

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I've been reading vol.33 again and I still can't fathom how anyone can think eren was right. Seeing him crushing all these innocent lives was chilling and just wrong, even if they hated the people of paradis they were just as ignorant as the yeagerists who held the same unbased hatred born out of fear. Hange, Armin and the rest had the right idea, they needed more time for negotiations and to learn about one another, it wasnt out of reach. The one who disagreed was the impatient, raging, impulsive boy who was trapped in his childhood and the childish logic that if you kill your enemies it's problem solved. Just because he had all that power doesn't mean he was finally free. He was just more powerful than the others and thought that gave him freedom to do as he pleases. Half-hearted apologies be damned, Eren deserves no redemption and shouldn't be hailed as a tragic hero or receive any thanks.

Hey ya!!

Let me get on board on the rant time because what you said is really great.

Ugh, I also hate that a significant deal of people glorifies Eren for what he did, and with the excuse of "his love for Mikasa" and "his friends"!

And Eren lied left and right after RtS, and gave in to his obsessive, anarchist, and immoral idea of freedom instead of accepting his powerlessness against a invisible enemy (humanity’s irresponsible, fear and hate-driven mentality), and he gave up of trying to find a solution for everyone with the help of others because his visions of the future mainly showed his dreams would come true (the Titans eradicated). And he helped killing his own mother (and his whole blood family actually if you consider his and Zeke’s grandparents). And after all the killing he had just done, the guy literally said he would have flattened the whole Earth and let it "full of carrion fattened insects"?

This terrifies me and grosses me out so much. Especially because this part of him is monstrous but easily falls forgotten with his pathetic confession about Mikasa and Armin's conflicted attempt of "thank you - though I can't understand you, I still love you, bro". And instead of for once let things absolutely clear, with the route Yams choose to end snk (changing from a dark ending to a bittersweet/more peaceful one), this all just made Eren's case more complicated.

And you're so right in your talk about Hans, Armin and the others needing more time! True options for peace through communication and diplomacy didn't have time to develop on their times properly! However, this problem runs deeper, and from way sooner than just the latest chapters...

So, if you don't mind, now excuse me while I turns this rant into something longer 😅 Because I think there is something uncommon about Eren's character and AOT's world, and it's adaptation into anime, and Isayama's Schrödinger writing that makes people take many things at face value, or further confused about what we should "support" in the snk journey.

Disclaimer that this is just my particular view, and that I have a tendency to look for the human part of the characters. Maybe my INFP side explains this lol

I fully agree that Eren shouldn't be viewed as a tragic hero! And that he shouldn't receive any thanks for the genocide!

However, considering everything Eren had lived, and how much he helped Paradis (and our loved ones) up until chapter 90, I find it hard to see him as a whole monster - as if he alone was carrying all of AOT's sins on his back. Because otherwise, imo, this becomes a way to excuse the responsibility of all other characters of their World who did nothing to change the Eldian race calamity.

I know there is a hate treatment toward Eren too - as if he had always been "like this" - but I can't take part in it because while of course I'm disappointed and condemn Eren's later actions, a few things I do not forget are that:

1. he saved Mikasa from becoming a sex slave child at 9 years old; 2. he witnessed his mother being eaten by a giant monster while he was still 10 years old; 3. he ate his own father; 4. He saved Armin, Mikasa, and the SC many times up to until the Ocean moment...

So - while only Ymir knows how he manipulated the timeline (that's kinda conflicting) -, whatever happened up to the moment Eren saw the whole thing on the Ceremony, Eren did it unconsciously at each given moment. Which holds some value for me, in the way that I do condemn his actions, but I can't bring myself to hate him. I suffered years with Eren's pre-Marley arc, hoping he wouldn't lose the last ones he loved, and that his powers could continue to save my beloved ones...

On the other hand, when I learned that Yams wanted to draw a "dark ending" for snk, I was hoping Eren would destroy everything, but learn the last minute lesson and show us a very painful ending but with a satisfying sense of "lesson learned" over "what happens when we give too much credit to ourselves or give in to our dark nature". Bittersweetly, I don't think I got either 🤡 Just a 19 teenager that I used to cheer on and suffer with being called incel because his pathetic jealous display is really pathetic for the story in THAT HEAVY MOMENT, or the retinue of Yeagerists praising a mass murderer as if he was a hero 🤦‍♀️ And let's not even talk about Mikasa and the bird thing...

I would rather Yams could have gone for a full dark ending and ripped my heart out with suffering or astonishment with something unique than getting this weird soup of "I want to hurt the reader, but more peacefully" LOL. Also, I wish he had handled his gag ideas better in the manga. (Hanji trying to talk to a car and them buying carrots is another stupid joke that I facepalm whenever I re-read that chapter 😒)

About Diplomacy in AOT

Again, you're so right! Hans and Armin needed more time! But the problem with communication is very old - since Hanji’s time trying to communicate with Titans... Which also leads us to another problem - the use of physical and verbal violence to achieve results.

Generally speaking, when we readers/anime watchers, as humans, love to be on the "right side", and grow attached to our characters, we sometimes agree with violence as being a path to solve things; we support it when it benefits us; we support it "because the real world is like this", and there was "no other alternative". We excuse it when our favs are hurt or in danger, as it's their right for being hurt first, and they need to survive. We support it because it looks cool, or brings forth some advancing results... In other words, when everything else fails, violence seems to always work because of the fear they evoke that makes people take action/to submit/change their minds/produce the necessary results when time is short.

However, if you reread the whole thing, from the beginning with Annie freaking out in the forest under Levi's threat to cut her up; to Reiner showing his split personality in the forest after kidnapping Eren and Ymir; to Armin using Annie's supposedly torture to destabilizing Bertholdth during Eren's kidnapping, and again in the RtS battle; to Ymir not staying in the Island to tell the truth about the world; to RBA killing Marco; to the Yeager Brothers not talking things through with no one; to Eren hiding things from Hanji; to Levi doing Zeke's interrogation about the same topic over and over expecting a different answer he knew that wouldn't come like that; to Zeke downplaying the chances to talk and only focusing on the cruelty of the World while he held undeniable power as a Shifter with Royal Blood; to Marley refusing to admit their wrongness over all Eldians by they themselves turning people into monsters (either literally, as Pure Titans and Shifters, or by increasing the fear and hate Marley people and other nations had over Eldians in general, perpetuating the hard to break cycle of hate); to Kiyomi admitting that she hadn't tried all she could to help Paradis... when we notice the details within those moments, we see that everyone, at one point, failed to understand and communicate properly.

One of the things that stuck in my mind while rereading snk is that Isym wanted to draw the different reactions people had under the pressure of living some kind of apocalypse/ human extinction. And something that was pretty much evident through the whole manga was the terrifying sense of fear and being driven into an impossible corner to make decisions.

Taking this into account, I always remember what happened in chapter 128:

They all used to be friends before this. They fought for their lives together against Titan at the beginning of the manga. And here they all hesitated to kill each other in this sequence. Yet, because of their overwhelming fear and the urgency of the situation, they couldn't settle their differences properly. They were on the same side, but human nature is treacherous when dominated by fear.

Which brings me to something you pointed out:

Seeing him crushing all these innocent lives was chilling and just wrong, even if they hated the people of paradis they were just as ignorant as the yeagerists who held the same unbased hatred born out of fear.

THIS IS SO TRUE! But also this goes to the root of the problem in the AOT world: that the majority of people just DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK FOR UNDERSTANDING.

This by no means justifies what Eren did to them, tho. Eren WAS WRONG, period. Killing everyone who disagrees with you is not the answer! But the lesson here - looking beyond his despicable actions - is about our human nature.

And by Magath's realization in chapter 128, as well as Marleyans and Eldians of the Continent in the depths of despair (135), it seems to hint that the world could have been better if people had actually acknowledged what was wrong with it, and tried to change it for the better rather than furthering their hell. And while older (but still present) generations refused to acknowledge their mistakes, nothing would really change.

So, (putting Eren aside) some questions that linger are - why do humans wait for the worst things to happen to them to finally acknowledge their responsibilities and mistakes? Why do humans need to get on the verge of death, and their worst nightmares come true, to really seek change? Why do humans alienate their personal responsibilities over making the world a better place to be passive in the face of injustice and unfairness with the wrong majority?

Which brings us to this panel right:

"They'll want to know what we saw" is almost equivalent to "they will want to hear because they'll want to understand how such thing happened."

And that Levi's bubble was initially "the pain we feel" hurts even more along with his face because, imo, it shows again how much suffering and loss he/they had to endure from the beginning to the end - until their world finally started to learn with their mistakes. Still, thankfully THEY LEARNED for as long as Levi was alive. My only consolation with this snk ending was that Levi died in peace.

The one who disagreed was the impatient, raging, impulsive boy who was trapped in his childhood and the childish logic that if you kill your enemies it's problem solved.

Ngl, imo, Eren wasn't even caring much about killing enemies or not. Idk, I still have not settle my thoughts about his ending, but Eren seems to have fallen into the glorious delirium of finally turning into the most powerful being in the world, and tried to deceive himself with the idea he was doing all that destruction for people's sake while in fact, Eren was doing it because he WANTED and COULD.

And he also used the excuse of eradicating the Titans to fuel his destructive intentions even more. So he surrounded himself with reasons to do what he already wanted to do, and this I think is what is tricky about his "redemption arc". Which I now tend to see not exactly as a redemption attempt, but once more like Yams with his Schrödinger writing letting readers decide whether what happened was worth it or not while his characters bear the consequences of Eren's disastrous actions. Unfortunately, he didn't make it explicitedly enough what he REALLY wanted to accomplish with Eren's character.

Back in 2009, Eren started as a powerless victim of a hellish world where people were eaten alive by giant naked people; and up to 2017, he fought nails and teeth to save his friends. And now in 2021, he ended up as the killer of his own mother, Hanji, and 80% of humanity. This had everything to be a perfect dark and hurtful story if Yams hadn't rushed and lost sight of what he was trying to tell...

I wonder though, if Eren had done all the Rumbling and the Titan curse hadn't been broken, how he would have felt about his own actions. Because Eren seemed to have found at least some real motivation in knowing that his terror Mikasa's actions would lead to the eradication of every last one of those animals that's on this earth™. And while I would love to have seen Eren falling in the pits of despair like the end of the movie "The Mist", the Titans were indeed gone.

So the only thing I can realistically keep questioning is: Was the end of the Titan curse done like that really worth it all tho? Even for the devoted hearts?

#answering devoted hearts #again #sorry the essay #i don't even know if i expressed myself properly tho #but the thing is #aot speaks so much about our failed human nature #fear and wrong common sense is really dangerous #and the more i reread snk the darker it gets #i really wish Yams had kept it up #i hope the anime can make at least a few things better tho #sometimes I wonder if Yams was secretly trying to do a social experiment with his readers LOL #i hope we have some more interviews with him too next year

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