#angels can't cook for shit

[allu-viia]

MC: "Who let you into the kitchen?"

Kuras: "How did you know I was in the kitchen?"

MC: *points at whatever disaster he caused*

Kuras: "...ah"

[hello7soone]

i would kill for pizza rn 😣

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hi!! can i request carmy berzatto #16, t? 🤭

Finders, Keepers.

16. "Is that my shirt?" + t. Roommates

Author's Note - this is written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested. my first time writing for beautiful angel boy carmy <3

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - smut!! + cursing

Word Count - 1185

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

The Roommate Collection.

Having Carmen Berzatto as a roommate is a blessing and a curse.

It's a blessing for many reasons. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate. He cooks, he cleans, he loads the dishwasher correctly. He's fairly quiet, he respects your boundaries, he always lets you choose the movie to watch. He's perfect in every way, really.

He's perfect in every way. That's the curse.

He's the most attractive man you've ever laid your eyes on. And he cooks. And he cleans. And he's the best roommate you could ever ask for. You're convinced anyone would struggle not to fall in love with him. Anyone.

You've fallen victim to the Berzatto charm. As much as you'd love to tell him, you don't want to ruin this good thing the two of you have. It's not worth it. So, you keep your mouth shut, and your eyes glued to his perfect face whenever he's not looking. It's sometimes painful, but it works.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're woken up bright and early by someone knocking on your bedroom door.

"I'm making breakfast. Lesson, or nah?"

Before you met Carmy, you couldn't really cook. Sure, you knew the basics, but he's opened you up to all sorts of new techniques and flavours. Whenever he starts to prepare a meal, he'll ask you if you want a lesson. Sometimes, you'll say no, content to watch him do his thing in the kitchen. More often than not, you'll say yes, allowing him to talk you through what he's doing and why. He explains everything step by step, always ensuring he's thorough but never patronising. These little cooking lessons allowed the both of you to get to know each other, bonding you together.

"Yeah, sure!" you call through the door, still half asleep. "Give me a minute."

You hear him turn the coffee maker on, the sounds of mugs clinking together filling the kitchen.

You stumble out of bed, grabbing around for something to wear. You find a dark grey t shirt on the chair and throw it over your head haphazardly. Pulling some socks on to tackle the morning chill, you run your fingers through your hair before making your way through the apartment.

Carmy's wearing his navy plaid pyjama pants and a white t shirt that hugs his biceps just right. His hair is sticking up in all directions, and it takes everything in you not to reach out and fix it into place.

"Morning, sweetheart," he says without turning around. "What do you want for breakfast, pancakes or waffles?"

"Hmmm," you debate. "Waffles, I think."

"Waffles it is."

Carmen turns around from where he's been brewing the coffee, and almost falls over. You're stood leaning against the counter, hair mussed and eyes still sleepy. Your legs are on full display, socks ending just above your ankle, skin glowing in the morning light. You smell like warmth and a golden sunrise. Carmy holds onto the mug in his hand like his life depends on it.

"Coffee," he stutters, handing it to you. You cross the kitchen and take it from him, kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. You both pretend not to notice the way heat blooms up his chest at the action.

The longer he looks at you, the more he can't put his finger on what it is that's driving him insane. There's something different about you this morning, and it's got him riled up. His eyes rake over your body once, twice, three times before he figures it out.

"Is that my shirt?"

You look down to find that yes, it is. You must have picked it up from the pile of clean laundry he did yesterday accidentally.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Carmy."

"No, it's okay. You look... you... it's - fuck."

You've never seen his brain short circuit like this, and you're not entirely sure what's happening.

"Are you... alright, Carmy?"

"God," he groans. "Stop saying my name like that."

"... like what?"

"Like... fuck. You say it so fuckin' pretty."

He has a look in his eyes you've never seen before. It's almost animalistic. He looks feral.

He strides over to you, cradling your face in his calloused hands. He presses his forehead to yours, and exhales shakily.

"Will you let me taste you, honey?" he murmurs.

Your breath catches in your throat, and your knees go weak. It's a good job he's holding you up.

"Please," he practically begs. "I'll make you feel real good."

You answer him by smashing your lips to his, hands fisting in the front of his shirt. He kisses you back with vigour, tongues tangling and mouths melding. You moan and he swallows it, committing the sound to memory.

Carmy walks you backwards and hoists you up onto the edge of the kitchen table, before dropping to his knees. He looks debauched, knelt in front of you with wide eyes and swollen lips. You think he's never looked prettier.

He starts by kissing up from your ankles to your thighs, building the tension expertly. You're practically vibrating with anticipation, desperate to feel him where you need him most. Your underwear is soaked through, and you're convinced you're going to go insane if he doesn't get his mouth on you soon.

As if he's reading your mind, he nudges his nose against your covered core, inhaling. He groans at your scent, and it's the filthiest thing you've ever seen. He pulls your underwear down in one quick swoop, looking up at you carefully. You grab the hem of your shirt, ready to pull it over your head, but Carmy stops you.

"Leave it on," he mutters. "Please."

You nod your head, and he takes that as confirmation. He dives into you, lapping you up like a man parched. He's nipping, biting, suckling at you as if he's done it a thousand times before. You prop yourself on your elbows, giving you the perfect view of this perfect man in this perfect situation. He's so eager to please you it makes your heart and your core ache.

"Fuck," he groans. "Sweetest thing I've ever tasted."

He slips two fingers into you with ease, and your back arches. You're writhing, moaning on every out breath, struggling to inhale. Is there anything this man can't do?

You can feel your orgasm building, warm and persistent in your stomach. Carmy can too.

"Come on, honey," he begs. "Give it to me. I want it. Let me have it."

You're not sure if it's his dulcet tone or the way his fingers curl on every upstroke, but you fall apart, hips keening and back canting. You whine his name and he groans, low and deep.

"There we go," he's muttering. "Good girl. That's it. Atta girl."

When he's satisfied you're satisfied, he stands up and kisses you again, allowing you to taste yourself on his bitten lips.

"No Michelin star dish is ever going to compare to that," he teases against your mouth. You both laugh, giddy off of each other.

"Shut up," you giggle. "Now, are we making waffles, or what?"

[ushiwakatrash]

The Bakusquad as Roommates

A/N: Hey babes, it's been a while! I've been so busy will college so I really couldn't write. But, yeah, I'm (kinda) back <3333

!Warning!: smoking (weed too)

According to the new rules, UA has decided to place two people per room.

(This deviates from the original plot line)

See the Dekusquad version here.

Bakugou Katsuki 爆豪 勝己

Did not like the thought of sharing his space with someone random but as per UA's orders, what choice did he have?

Very clean and very strict about house rules

Will constantly nag about how you can't do chores right

Your first weeks were a disaster. He was so scary and so intimidating, you thought he was the concentrated essence of evil

He's blunt and mean, but you figure out he just has a hard time expressing himself

One morning, he cooked breakfast for you but went with lame excuses like "I accidentally cooked too much." or "You look dead so fuckin' eat!"

Since then you went along with his shitty excuses and used them when giving him dinner

"Bakugou, you can have this 'cause I don't feel like eating anymore." or "They looked good so I bought twice as much for, uh, no reason at all."

Seeing your efforts in trying to be a good roomie, he warmed up to you eventually

Now y'all just argue like an old couple

Kirishima Eijirou 切島 鋭児郎

Looks tough, but he’s the sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

A literal angel

Day 1: friends

Day 2: besties

Day 3: you would take a bullet for him

He’s kinda messy and his punching bag takes a lot of space but hey, no one’s perfect

He always waits for you before he eats, and always saves you a plate when you’re running late because of extra training

You seek each other for comfort. Especially when Kiri feels insecure about how his quirk isn’t flashy or how he thinks it won’t make him a top hero one day

You, of course, would never want or let him think that way. It will never be a chore to remind him how he’s so strong and sturdy and how his muscles are hot

You know how much potential he has so if you have to repeat it a thousand times again and again, so be it

MUST PROTECT THIS CINNAMON ROLL

Kaminari Denki 上鳴電気

Had the idea of the old ‘bucket of water on top of the door’ prank as a big welcome to his roomie

What he didn’t calculate is that you have very sharp and fast reflexes.

Before the bucket falls on you, you hit it and the water splashes on Denki

Both of you were stunned at first but you recovered quickly and said “feeling cold, sparky?” with such a smug smirk

His face instantly got red and he stormed out of the room with comical tears shouting ‘MEANIE!!’

An hour later he returns, 2 popsicles in his hands. He hands you one as an apology and both of you reconcile, even if it’s his entire fault

You both get in trouble for blasting heavy metal at 3 in the morning MULTIPLE TIMES

The two of you made an agreement to do this ritual with headphones on because Mr. Aizawa had threatened to make you switch rooms

Sero Hanta 瀬呂範太

Ah, the potheads unite

It was a secret that you tried to keep under wraps since but the your roomie figured you out instantly

At first you both just shared vapes, trying out different flavors the both of you would buy

until you saw a bag in the bathroom that had an oh so familiar scent

You confronted Sero about it but he just gave you a 'what's the big deal' look so you shrugged it off

a few nights later he invited you for a session and you obliged, only if he kept it hush

this has been a routine since you could remember and Aizawa has never suspected you. I don't know about Mr. tape man though.

Ashido Mina 芦戸 三奈

There was no adjustment period for the both of you whatsoever

You both became instant besties and shared EVERYTHING

from skincare to clothes to maybe thongs at times but hey, girls do that shit

As if being roommates wasn't enough, you still hung out after class hours

Mina has been your greatest support system especially with boy trouble

Break a man's heart and she's as proud as any mother could be

Your heart is broken? A tub of ice cream and shitty movies are ready for you

She loves you like her own sister and constantly worries for you

Honestly the best roomie in town

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

[haruyaaachiyo]

‎‧₊˚✧𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬✧˚₊‧

ミ★𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝟏

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 → 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 | (𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲) | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨༄, 𝐊𝐞𝐧 | (𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧) | 𝐑𝐲𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐣𝐢༄, 𝐊𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 | 𝐁𝐚𝐣𝐢༄, 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 | 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨༄, 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 | 𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚༄

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐬, 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬.

𝐂𝐰: 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 (𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥), 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐬, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐒𝐮𝐛 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

(𝐚/𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐥���𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞. 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝!)

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 (𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲) 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

Mikey loves and I mean LOVES groping your tits he calls them "stress balls." Whenever you're busy cooking in the kitchen he secretly walks up behind you and gropes your tits while you're cooking this has resulted in him getting hit in the head with kitchen utensils depending on what you're cooking. But when you ride his dick he can't help but grab your tits and play with your nipples while you bounce up and down on his dick he can't help it when he sees your titties bouncing in his face it's a natural reaction he just has to play with them.

“shit baby, your tits look so pretty”

𝐊𝐞𝐧 (𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧) 𝐑𝐲𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐣𝐢

Draken love ass but he especially loves your ass. Draken loves it when you wear mini skirts or shorts around him because he sees it as a invite to grab your ass. Draken loves grabbing and smacking your ass he just can't help it sometimes he refers to it as a "daily medication" or a "daily squeeze." But when you sit in his lap and take his cock like a good little slut he grabs your ass helping you ride him because you were fucked dumb just by riding his dick.

“Fuck your ass looks good from this angle baby”

𝐊𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐣𝐢

Baji is an ass type of guy and I stand by this because come on he looks and sounds like he loves ass and he will grab your ass anywhere and anytime he will grab your ass in public. Someone's checking you out? Not anymore cause Baji grabs your ass and shoots the person a death glare so they know you belong to him then he ends up getting scolded by you and you tell him "we're in public" and smack his hand away. He loves grabbing your ass while you ride him or just any position where he can grab, look, and smack your ass anything involving your ass gets him going.

“Fuck mama your ass is fucking amazing so is this pretty pussy”

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨

I'd say Chifuyu is a thigh and tittie type of guy. Your tits to him are pillows he loves sleeping and burying his face in your tits they just feel so nice and warm he can't resist them. But when you ride him he loves to suck your titties seeing the way you fuck yourself on his dick and making him feel good he just has to do the same thing for you, he sucks your pretty tits while rubbing your clit. He loves resting his head on your thighs while he reads or scrolls on his phone sometimes he sleeps on your thighs depending on the day like if it's a rough day at school he'll sleep on your thighs while you give him a head massage if he's having a lazy day he'll watch tv while laying on your thighs as you play with his hair he'll end up falling asleep sooner or later. Chifuyu loves it when he's eating you out and you can't seem to keep your legs open he grabs you by the thighs while telling you to be a good girl and keep your legs open while he fucks you with his tongue after you cum on his face he preps your inner thighs with kisses before and after he's done eating you out.

“Please mommy just let me suck on your tits please”

“Fuck angel just keep these pretty thighs open for me okay?”

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚

Mitsuya loves your thighs the way you're insecure about your thighs makes him want to love them more<33. He loves laying between and on your thighs prepping them with kisses each time he lays between them. When Mitsuya found out you were insecure about your thighs it made him sad because your thighs are so beautiful to him you look like a whole goddess to him and he loves to warship you especially your thighs. Mitsuya loves to finger you, eat you out, and just plain fuck you. When Mitsuya fingers you he loves looking at the way your thighs twitch in overstimulation and the way you try to close your thighs but Mitsuya won't let you close your thighs before you cum again and again for him. Mitsuya loves eating you out while shoving his fingers and tongue in your tight pussy when you try and close your legs Mitsuya pulls his fingers out of you and holds both of your thighs so you don't close them again now he's left with shoving his tongue in your pussy. When he fucks you it's heaven, his dick going in and out of you while you wrap your legs around his waist to make him go deeper in your tight cunt makes him just want to cum deep in your pretty little pussy breeding it and marking it as his so you know who you belong to.

“You have such pretty thighs baby and a pretty pussy too”

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. ♥︎

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝<𝟑𝟑

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥/𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞. ★♥︎

[iheart-alastor]

Hazbin characters dating you Head cannons!

Tried my best on this hope you enjoy!

𝐍𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫!

Warning:mention of abuse but 𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘴 of fluff

Characters: Alastor, Angel dust, Husk, Lucifer, Sir pentious,Vox

Alastor

When Alastor first realised he had feelings for you it was mainly shocking for him

Definitely starts to keep a close eye on you either with his shadow or just watching you from afar

Would probably never admit his feelings for you

Probably steals something of yours because it smells like you

If he did ever admit his feelings for you his whole persona would change he would be clingy maybe let's you touch his ears

When you do start going out with him he will be more possessive and make sure each sinner who dares to glare at you in disgust or any rude way is next heard on his broadcast

He would start calling you his doe, my fawn, Mon cherè basically cute nicknames meaning deer or literally dear

He will probably start 'sleeping' in the same bed as you a couple months in but the only reason he does it so he has an excuse to watch you sleep

If you don't eat demon meat or venison or any type of meat sorry but he's gonna try sneak some in food he makes for you

Probably let's you cook food with him

Bound to learn his mothers jambalaya recipe form him

He probably doesn't bake that much so he'd be glad if you taught him some new foods

He deffo talks about the other overlords apart from rosie

Vox

Vox cant stand having a crush at first knowing how addicted to watching alastor he is he definitely begins to watch you too

Buys you gifts but they never say who off

Asks you out on a date to a restaurant and talks about alastor the entire time

He likes when you give him shoulder massages after dealing with val or another argument with alastor

Loves to bake goods with you, you cannot tell me this man hates to bake

Doesn't like cooking but will cook some stuff with you depending on how much you enjoy it

Clingy and doesn't let val near you whatsoever why would he want his baby near a pornstar who abuses his co-workers

Likes when you kiss and praise him

Angel dust

When he first found out he liked you he began flirting with you very bold too he does not hold back like how he does with husker

If he asked you out expect him to be full of joy if you say yes

Definitely wants a sleepover with matching pajamas

Likes talking shit about val to you after a tough day at work

And please when he comes back looking beaten up shower him in kisses and cuddles man will forget val even existed

When around you he liked being sober and not coked up

My man would love if you could bake because bro would love If you baked him some cookies or pastries

Bro don't know how to cook so if you do please teach him

Loves when you and cherri bomb get along

Definitely has a picture of you him and fat nuggets on his door

Husker

He probably found out he liked you if you began sitting at the bar with him having normal conversations and not trying to flirt with him

He starts to be at ease when around you

Would probably talk shit about alastor

Teaches you how to make different cocktails

After a while it's probably you who asks him out but he says yes

Would probably sleep in the same bed as you and you how cats knead something would probably do that to something you own

He so loves when you groom his fur (it almost makes his wings flap)

He starts to lay of the booze when around you so he doesn't look like a complete alcoholic

Liked talking about you to angel dust

Sir pentious

Gets easily flustered around you and he makes it obvious!

So obvious angel helps him to ask you out

If you say yes he hugs you so hard and all the little egg Bois in the background begin cheering

He likes seeing you babysit the eggbois when he can't or they get to playfull

He wraps his tail around you when your asleep so he knows your there

Is such a bottom spoon my guys hugging your hiding his head in the crook of your neck while the egg Bois sleep on you or besides the 2 of you

My guy is the best Baker we even saw it on episode 5

Only you am aloud to eat the food he makes how dare anyone else think they're aloud the cookies he made for you?

Probably watches a movie with you and cries when something bad happens to his favorite character

Lucifer

When Lucifer realised he liked you a lot went through his head by he first made a duck of you now he needed to find out how to handle his crush

He first told Charlie who was in awe and in tears when she saw the duck of you now he had his daughter helping him plan a way to ask you out

He came knocking at your door with flowers and chocolate in the shapes of ducks with the duck he made of you sitting on the chocolate box ofc you had to go out with him!

He probably takes you to a restaurant before going home and watching a movie with you in matching duck pj's and a duck blanket while cuddling

Definitely dreams off you all the time

Love sick in the best way possible as you cured his depression

Likes baking with you and probably throws flour on you before you both start play fighting

Likes when you play with his wings and call him cute nicknames

Charlie would probably think of you as her mother at some point

Gets you duck pajamas to wear with him

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed the headconnons! Lmk if I should make more in the future I honestly loved making this

More alastor tiktoks because this man's cute as fuck (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡

[reveluving]

nasty wolverine thot incoming (minors DNI!)

a/n: coping after not being able to find jackman gifs at waterbomb because be serious 😔

Logan fixation kinda strong since. Can't stop thinking about him being totally obsessed over his beloved, you, living in a cabin together and shit. Looking all nice and sweet with your little smile whenever you're cooking or has his head on your lap.

The same angel who let out the sweetest, most decadent sounds when he had his tongue shoved down your pussy the night before.

Shivering and peeking over the blanket when he shot you a smug smile, all while the wet muscle slid and glid along your sensitive bud.

Forcing you to keep your legs open with his hands on your thighs and even nipping on the soft flesh like he absolutely had no self-control (And with you? He doesn’t, truly). The veins along his arms silently telling you how worked up he was just seeing you fall apart for him.

He remembered how hypnotized he was, bucking into the mattress as he watched his spit mixed and dribbled with your juices.

And when you shakily reached over, running your fingers through his hair in hopes of more, oh, he'd give you all.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[raggedytiger]

ragatha/agatha and pomni/penny human hcs!

(r)agatha:

is an english teacher!

yes she still loves horses. she used to ride them, & she loves old western movies.

owns cowboy hat and boots.

analytical and loves long & winding conversations.

has a very happy cat named sandwich.

patches her own clothes, doesn't have kids but if she did she would embroider their names into their belongings.

she still plays cello, she loves music in general, probably sings like an angel.

can't do any mathematics.

can drive, but like a lunatic. somehow has never had an accident though, so it's fine.

probably has a cute little baby blue/yellow car now, but definitely had a beat up offroader truck at some point that got put to good use. or maybe she still does, i'm not the boss.

total lesbian, a bit of a heartbreaker but not intentionally (women just keep falling for her)

goes to town/neighbourhood/community meetings. likely is/was in a knitting circle

absurd number of quilts in her home

pomni/penny:

is an accountant as we know, and cannot cook for shit as we know.

no pets she can barely take herself for walks. is more similar to a cat, but had a dog growing up. would love a collie or a dalmatian probably.

would name the dog something stupid like Thermometer Johnson.

she can drive, but nervously.

really quick thinker, like impressively, unless she's under HUGE amounts of stress. is literally always thinking at 100mph.

no sense of interior decor or personal style. all practical, kind of butch. really does kill a suit.

very much lesbian but not fully to terms with it. probably had short-lived relationships with men in which she was 'content' but didn't really care for it. seeing agatha as agatha for the first time was probably a crazy punch to her little gay heart. not to mention the cowboy gear.

autistic

watches 90s anime to wind down

listens to every single genre of music. passes a lot of time with headphones in, slowly making her way thru the entire world's discography

owns no band merch or anything though she just listens

can't sleep without a fan on, thunderstorm 12hr audio, blackout curtains, weighted blanket, water nearby

does not sleep a lot

both of them (going to call them pomni and ragatha for convenience):

didn't immediately recognise one another. i havent got an exact idea of how they reunited after getting out, but there were tears.

bonded in a very rare and unique way - they got to revel in the newfound joys of real life again. they got to eat delicious food, go on long, unobstructed walks in the real sun, be warmed by it, chew on ice cubes and shiver at the pain, listen to each other's heartbeats, listen to real music, read real books, smell soaps and flowers and sauces. they went to the supermarket together and read all the labels, and bought one of each type of fruit to try between them, and smelled all the candles, and touched all the blankets. spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing and i'm sorry to say, probably having sex, because holy shit, i'm real, you're real, we're real

now live together in ragatha's apartment, after pomni moved out of her small and confusingly-furnished flat.

both of them feel inadequate from time to time. this is resolved by a stern-but-loving talking-to.

sandwich likes pomni very much. pomni doesn't really get cats, but loves sandwich a great deal, and enjoys letting her sleep on her lap.

ragatha is very pleased to see her girls getting along.

ragatha cooks, pomni chops the veg. she often doesn't fuck it up

pomni cleans a lot as a 'thank you for letting me live here, i love you'. she's very much acts of service, ragatha is words & physical touch <3

they watch a lot of movies together. depending on how long they've been stuck, they might have culture to catch up on

ragatha wants to have a house with a garden one day. pomni starts germinating seeds from their fruit & veg like a weird science experiment. ragatha is delighted when she is presented with a baby tomato plant.

clothes are shared. ragatha's are bigger, but most of pomni's are ill-fitting anyway so it can go both ways. ragatha likes to dress pomni up in different outfits and have her do a little fashion show. pomni pretends not to savour the confidence boost.

pomni starts sleeping more

[cinellieroll]

☆ random obey me headcanons part 2!

asmodeus, levi and barbatos ♡

part one (lucifer, mammon and simeon)

part three (beelzebub, belphegor, solomon)

part four (satan and diavolo)

cw: some small nsfw on asmo's part :p

small note: thank you so much for the likes and reblogs! i never expected such a large majority of people to enjoy my content so it's very dear to me. once again, thank you!

☆ asmodeus:

- kinda bad at cooking. his way of slicing and dicing vegetables is very mediocre if not clumsy looking. there are days where his cooking is acceptable and days where it's to seasoned or too bland (always convinces himself its good tho and posts it on his devilgram)

- though he's kinda bad at cooking, his baking skills are okay! his favorite pastry to make are cookies because he can design them the most.

- "ofcourse mc! you'll always be the first one to try my desserts! unless you want to taste something else?~ ♡"

- he has a collection of sanrios, hironos and sonny angels in his room. ESPECIALLY sonny angels. crazy thing is he always gets them for free from his fans and its always the limited edition ones

- he really enjoys watching old movies from the human world especially the romcoms. mean girls, notting hill, pitch perfect. he will pester you to rewatch it with him even though you guys have seen it multiple times already.

- he keeps a small jewelry box in his room but instead of jewelry its full of pics of you and him and the gifts you give him. theres some pics in there where the other brothers were cut or crossed out so it'll be just you and him lmfao

- he is a yandere and i stand by this. it's not as obvious but if he's really into you he'll constantly mark you with his scent and the stuff he wears. he'll leave a hickey or a bite mark if you're lucky ;)

- the type of guy to only bring a purse to school. if you ask for a pencil the bitch is gonna open his bag and say "oopsie! i only brought my makeup pouch and mirror today. sorry babe!"

- has his own private concert in showers every goddamn day

- he'll either fangirl with you about celebrities or he'll get extremely jealous because you're simping for someone else.

☆ levi:

- sometimes his ass crack will be on display when he's sitting down on the floor

- wears booty shorts religiously. sometimes he'll casually just walk out his room wearing a hoodie and booty shorts with prints on it

- has a tumblr account where he posts a bunch of hc, drabbles and other shit and until now no one knows its him

- had an amino and discord phase where he always roleplayed with other people. till this day it haunts him at night

- he livestreams twice a week on twitch and has been scolded by lucifer on stream once. there was also a time where mammon barged in his room half naked and suddenly all the views went up 10x

- trolls on roblox like it's a 9 to 5 job

- every once in a while he'll stay in lucifers room while lucifer is doing paperwork. he'll just lay down on his bed, watch and play games and even fall asleep

- makes his own persona in every fandom he gets into and writes very detailed backstories (dw levi, same)

- only reads "x reader" fics for obvious reasons

- went insane because human world games and animes are better than the ones in devildom. dont get me started about aot. (his favorite is levi ackerman obvi)

☆ barbatos:

- wishes he could get piercings but since he's the demon prince's butler he obviously can't

- started tweakin when you said some humans keep rats and bugs as pets. like he stopped polishing some plates and looked at you like you just dog shitted diavolo's name

- really enjoys your spotify playlist filled with metalhead and grunge songs. he really likes slipknot

- likes to order those cute, fancy tea sets when he has the time. when you gifted him tea leaves and a limited edition teapot set his love for you sky rocketed.

- gets annoyed when solomon manspreads

- has a really good voice when he sings. he used to sing diavolo lullabies when his father would get angry at him

- scrolls through levi and mammon's post for educational purposes cuz he wants to learn slangs just incase diavolo asks him what a specific word means

- "barbatos, what does 'runnin from da opps' mean?"

- "my lord, 'runnin from da opps' is a slang made by the new generation. it means fleeing from your haters."

- loves to tailor and iron his bed sheets so he can have a peaceful rest after a long day of non stop errands.

[bbokicidal]

hi ! i rly liked the skz marriage post i was wondering if you could maybe pls do them as dads? or like finding out you’re gonna have a baby ? thank u !

Ofc! I love writing family fluffy things like this.

Hyung Line only. If you'd like the Maknae Line as well, lmk! Also,, they all ended up as Girl Dads, oops.

SKZ as Dads [Small Headcanon List][HL]

Chris -

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Absolutely a girl dad in my mind, but he can be either! Obviously lol. I think he'd do well with a boy or a girl because he'd love them endlessly regardless.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 I think he would definitely be the type of dad to love his kids no matter what they choose to do in life. He doesn't care for gender stereotypes - He'll let his kids wear what they want, choose a job they like, it don't matter.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 But while they're still his babies, he'll be absolutely coddling them and he will in fact take up both the mom and dad role when you're too busy to help out or if you're tired.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He is a crier. Their first steps? Crying. Their first words? Crying. Their first day of Kindergarten? Crying. Dropping them off at daycare? Crying.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He will do ANYTHING for his kids. Which, as much as he dislikes it sometimes because he has deadlines, includes leaving work early to come home and spend time with the two of you.

Minho -

ᯓᡣ𐭩 For some reason my first thought was Minho with twin girls.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 I think he would spoil the shit out of his daughters. Buying them whatever they want, clearing out a room in the apartment he previously used for working out to make into a toy room just for them; Big dollhouses, lots of barbies, dress up costumes. Everything you can think of.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He's the type of dad to let them paint on the walls and then tell you it'll be okay when you freak out about it later. He'll cover it - take care of it, he's got it. And he'll absolutely let them do it again. (But he'll never cover up the crayon drawing they did of your little family near the door. That'll stay forever.)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Cooks the same meals as he always does for you two, but makes sure to cut up the meat into super little pieces for his girls so that they can enjoy it too without hazard.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Master of Tummy Time. Literally loves it, will never give it up. Even as the girls get older he lets them nap on him whenever they want.

Changbin -

ᯓᡣ𐭩 There's been countless amounts of times you've come home to Bin wearing a pink tutu over his jeans and covered in purple glitter while your daughter laughs and chases him around the villa.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He will let your daughter get away with ANYTHING, so you have to take the reins and eventually ask him to toughen up a little.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 But, him gently scolding your daughter while she sits in timeout is too hard to watch. He's a sucker for her and you can tell he doesn't like to scold her, so you do it instead. Baby's just too soft n squishy.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He's also just the cutest with your daughter. Seeing a big beefy man carrying around your two year old in her Elsa dress and little braids in her hair is just too fricken adorable. (Which means you have pleeeenty of pics of them together on your phone.)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 His favorite activity? Feeding your lil girl with the tiny baby spoons. He loves how messy she is and how she just can't keep food in her mouth longer than five seconds. It makes him cackle.

Hyunjin -

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Biggest girl dad out there!!!!!

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Absolutely loves dressing up your lil angel!! He buys SO MANY dresses and hairbands and bows and clips and shit for her, but also.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 The amount of Versace your daughter owns rivals the amount Hyunjin stows away in his closet. she is SPOILED.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 But he also convinces Donatello to let him bring her with to a shoot and it results in the most adorable photoshoot you've ever seen in your life.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 His favorite thing is reading to her, whether it's the middles of the day and she just wants him to read her a book - or if he's trying to get her to bed and laying in her way-too-small-for-him toddler bed beside her so she can relax and doze off against him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He's fallen asleep there a few times but,,, we don't talk about how he ends up on the floor.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Third Time's the Charm?: Chaggie

Vaggie: (bringing Charlie on a romantic walk through the Morningstar gardens) Hey, Charlie, there's something I've been meaning to say....

Charlie: (phone rings) I'm so sorry, Vaggie. Hold that thought! Dad's calling. (picks up) What's wrong, Dad? ..... He what? ..... With WHO?!?!?! .... I'll be right here! (hangs up) We gotta get back to the hotel, ASAP!!! Tell me later?

Vaggie: Uh... Yeah.....

Charlie: Great! Let's go! (grabs Vaggie's hand and runs while dragging her)

Vaggie: this is fine.......

*********

Vaggie: (sets up a romantic meal at the hotel just for her and Charlie) Okay, we're at the hotel, so nothing should get in the way this time.

Charlie: Vaggie, this is so sweet! You got all my favorite foods here! What's the occasion?

Vaggie: (shrugs nonchalantly) Can't a girl spoil her beloved without a reason? (swallows) But... I do have a reason, I guess. You caught me. I wanted to say something.... kind of important.

Charlie: (raises an eyebrow and balks) Are you breaking up with me?!

Vaggie: What? NO!!! No! Nononononono... Exact opposite. I want to stay with you forever, babe.

Charlie: (sighs) Whew! Good, because I want to stay with you too~

Vaggie: (smiles and starts pulling the ring out of her pocket) Charlie, I-

Explosion erupts through the door leading to the kitchen as a gruel monster growls deep within.

Angel: HUSK!!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULD COOK!!!

Husk: I haven't cooked in decades! Why the fuck would you think I could cook!?!??!

Charlie: Holy shit! (runs over to the kitchen and grabs a fire extinguisher)

Vaggie: (listens to the screaming and sounds of the extinguisher blasting a gelatinous blob monster) ......this is fine.....

*******

Vaggie: (sitting on the balcony of her and Charlie's room and staring at a fireworks display she asked Lucifer to put together for her)

Charlie: (staring starstruck at the fireworks) Wow! This is beautiful, Vaggie!

Vaggie: (rests her chin in her hand as she stares at Charlie) Yeah... beautiful....

Charlie: (notices Vaggie staring and blushes) What? Is there something on my face?

Vaggie: Just your gorgeous blush, babe~

Charlie: (giggles all flustered) Vaggie, stop! What's got you lying on the charm so thick all of a sudden?

Vaggie: You deserved to be charmed every day of your life, babe. I love you, and I want to be able to do that for you. (grabs the ring in her pocket) So, Ms. Charlotte Morningstar. (sees Charlie wrinkle her brow and snickers) Charlie... will you-

Niffty: (out on the veranda, jumps onto one of the firework rockets and blasts into the air) AAAAHHHHHHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Lucifer: Oh, quackers!!! Let go of the rocket, kid! I'll catch you!

Angel: Nah, let her be! She likes the pain!

Charlie: OH, MY GOD!!! NIFFTY-

Vaggie: (finally snaps) No! No more interruptions! You! (points to Charlie)

Charlie: M-Me?

Vaggie: Wedding! You and me! Holy matrimony and all that shit! Marry me! (pauses as she groans and holds up the ring) Charlie, will you marry me?

Charlie: YES!!!

Hazbins: FUCKING FINALLY!!!

[orangeheliophile]

Habits, and how he acts in a relationship

Warnings: some cursing.

● He's a menace. You know that unicorn puppet in the Bluey show? Yeah, that's him. But more grumpy and demanding.

●He doesn't like physical touch from other people, but he's constantly clinging to you at every second of the day. Deal with it. He loves you, so he's going to suffocate you with his affection until you learn to love it.

●You both have a secret language, which mainly consists of grunts, mumbles, hums, and other sound verbs. Sometimes, you both just look at each other and can communicate that way. Body language is a part of it, too.

●You like to cuddle in weird positions. For instance, he could be laying on the floor like a starfish while you mirror him while laying on top of him. Basically, you both cuddle like orange cats. In the most weird but funny way possible. But you can cuddle like normal people do, but where's the fun in that?

●He has a habit of kissing your beauty marks/freckles. They're like tiny stars in his eyes because even if he won't admit it, you're his universe. (He'll rather die than tell you that sappy shit in person.)

●Of course, his main love language is physical touch, but he likes all the other ones too. He wants to make sure you're loved and feel loved in every way. He also completely melts when you make him a gift or compliment him.

●Since he secretly reads romance Mangas, he knows how to flirt with you and make you feel all giddy. He's Bakugou Katsuki. Of course, he's the best in everything. He's extremely confident in himself. (He practices it in his head about 50 times before even thinking of saying it to you. He's actually super nervous around you because you give him butterflies. )

●Speaking of butterflies, they're more like his AP shots filled with cuteness aggression. It's Bakugou. He does everything intensely. He just can't help it but feel his heart is about to explode with how much he loves and adores you.

●That doesn't stop him from being an annoying bastard, though. No wonder his mother was so eager not to have to deal with his ass anymore.

●He will bite you, give you sloppy wet kisses, demand head and back scratches, and will purposely lick your face just to annoy you. (He's a dog. The pomeranian hair and chihuahua attitude doesn't help at all.)

●And he DEMANDS that you compliment him and show him affection. He'll die if you don't. (He will literally lay face first onto the floor for hours if you ignore him.)

●You have a habit of fidgeting and getting random bursts of energy. He helps with that. Since you need something to fidgeting with and are a bit clingy, he's happy because he secretly adores physical touch. His heart melts whenever he sees you jump in joy or fidget out of excitement. You're his little ball of sunshine he never wants to share.

●He Daydreams about your future together. Such as becoming the best pro heroes together, getting married, and having kids. He's already picked out, baby names, and he smiles whenever he sees you gush at babies.

●He loves your laugh and smile. And if he has to do something ridiculous or something unusual, he'll do it. He will also purposely act sassy/have more attitude than usual to see that adorable smile of yours. (It happens often when he acts like a clingy gremlin.)

●Since he plays the drums, he will definitely play your favorite songs and learn to play other instruments for you. He plays the electric guitar and bass sometimes, too.

●When you're feeling sad/sick or look absolutely adorable, he will treat you like his precious baby angel girlfriend. (Because you are!) He will cook for you, cuddle you, give you massages, and do anything to make you happy and comfortable. (Acts of service is his second favorite love language.)

●He's extremely protective over you after the war. It doesn't matter if his arm is damaged or if his heart has a possibility of arrhythmia? He's using Sero's tape to duck tape himself to your hip. So you're literally stuck with him forever.

●He will definitely want to train with you, always pushing himself to be the best, but encouraging you to become an even better hero student than you already are.

●He secretly keeps a scrapbook of all your memories together. He doesn't normally take pictures, yet suddenly he's an expert photographer when he's taking pictures of you or things he knows you'll like. He also keeps a journal of everything about you. There's too much detail and sweet things that he has to write down because he can't contain himself! (He nerds out like Izuku when it comes to you. Don't tell him that.)

●If you're a foreigner, be ready for him to study everything about your culture. He will personally learn the language and become an expert in at least 2 months.

●Since he's going to become the best future, Number One Hero, that means having an extremely healthy diet and lifestyle. He's making you join him, of course. Be prepared for everything organic for the rest of your life!

●He's definitely dating to marry. This man knows what he wants. And he only wants you.

●He has a habit of wanting to feel your heartbeat in some way. He'll put his head on your chest or place his fingers on the pulse point on your wrist sometimes. It soothes him in a way, knowing that you're alive and real and not just a wonderful dream he's imagining.

●Head bumps and nose nuzzles. It's another habit he has. You know how cats hug by nuzzling their bodies onto something else? That's him. But in a more dramatic way. He can act like a cat or a dog, depending on his mood. Then again, Katsuki is his own species of animal.

●If you're insecure, prepare to be even more smothered by him and his clingyness. This man will not leave you alone until you realize how amazing you are. He will look at you like you're crazy if you deny it. He's always right. So if he says that you're the best and most incredible person he's ever met, believe it.

●When he gets upset or has a bad day, he won't say much. He'll just cling to you as you play with his hair and express how much you love him. He needs you. And you're more than welcome to be right there for him when he needs it.

●Whenever you're doing something, he always admires you. He will have the softest expression on his face and the most loving smile on his lips. His pupils dilate to the max, and those cherry red eyes will turn into hearts. Even if you're just breathing, he's already head over heels. And this won't stop even if you two are married and have a family.

●One last thing, he simply adores looking into your eyes. They're so... majestic. They have such a depth and color to him. He could stare into them for an eternity if he could. And you feel the same way. Those cherry red eyes of his shine like rubies in the sunlight. They're mesmerizing. He is mesmerizing.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

chaggie and the dangers of flirting and makeouts during hotel operational hours :3 (they'll never live it down now)

Vaggie: "Are you the light to my moth, babe? 'Cause I just can't take my eyes off of you."

Charlie: "AWWW Vaggieeee! That's-"

Charlie: (stares at gf)

Vaggie: (stares back with one eye)

Vaggie: "...I guess it's more like eye singular, huh?"

Charlie: "You're eyeball might be single- but YOUUUU definitely are NOT!" (smooches gf's eyepatch) "Mmmwah~"

Vaggie: "Wow. Are scars really that kissable?"

Charlie: "Everything about you is kissable!"

Vaggie: "That's a pretty big claim."

Charlie: "You're a very pretty lady. AND! I have proof!"

Vaggie: "Yeah? Where?"

Charlie: "Anywhere you'd like...~"

Vaggie: (smiling) "All these years, hun, and you still need voice instructions."

Charlie: "Mm. Your voice is ALSO very pretty, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Well then let's start right there."

Charlie: "Okay!!!"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (laughing) "I meant my lips, sweetie."

Charlie: "Oh! Whoops, heheh, the low neckline and choker necklace combo strikes again!"

Vaggie: "Mission accomplished."

Charlie: "Hm?"

Vaggie: "My uh neck doesn't mind being kissed?"

Charlie: "That's VERY good to know~"

-DOOT DOOT DOOT LATER ON-

Husk: "The fuck. What happened to you?"

Vaggie: "I was cooking laundry."

Vaggie: "Folding dishes....

Vaggie: "....."

Vaggie: "...fucking dandies-"

Husk: "Pick one."

Vaggie: "Nothing's ever happened to me, Husk. Why?"

Husk: "You motherfucking shit liar, you're in deep shit now. There's black lipstick on your fucking THIGH."

Vaggie: "Thighs plural."

Husk: "What?"

Charlie: "I'M ALLOWED TO WEAR BLACK LIPSTICK HUSK!!!"

Husk: "What's that got to do with... fffffuck."

Vaggie: "Sweetie..."

Husk: "YOU wear black lipstick??"

Vaggie: "Ugh."

Charlie: "Oh. Um."

Charlie: ".... not that it has anything to with Vaggie's thighs, but yes."

Husk: "....."

Husk: "I'm telling Angel Dust."

Vaggie: "NO-"

Charlie: "-do NOT tell Angel Dust!!!"

Husk: "Hey loser baby! Guess who's bringing home the fresh hot fucking gossip tonight!"

Vaggie: "HUSK."

Angel Dust: "Ohhhh daddy whiskers, ya spoilin' me~"

Charlie: "No no no no no !!! Don't tell him! WE'LL GIVE YOU A RAISE!"

Husk: "My soul's enslaved to a watered down deer furry and I work in this shithole hotel for free."

Charlie: "DAMNIT ALASTOR!!!"

Vaggie: "We'll let you drink on the job?"

Husk: "Already do."

Vaggie: "Fuck."

Angel Dust: "Enough beggin' and pleadin' and spill the tea! This ain't a sex dungeon!"

Husk: "It might as fucking well be."

Angel Dust: "You mean they-? On the job? NO WAY!"

Charlie: "Husk please-"

Husk: "Did you know the princess wears black fucking lipstick?"

Angel Dust: "Black? But ain't her lips naturally... so wait.... oh my gay."

Angel Dust: (stares at vaggie) "Holy shit??? Kisses? THIS WHOLE TIME!? I thought ya was just useless at self application! 'cause of the missing eye thing!!!"

Vaggie: "That damn missing eye is to blame for this."

Angel Dust: "Say what?"

Charlie: (frantically shrugging off jacket & tying it around gf's waist so it hangs past vaggie's skirt & hides the lipstick) "NOTHING!!!!!"

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Hazbin Hotel x reader cooking headcanons

Summary: HH character headcanons with their s/o and cooking. I hope you enjoy!

Includes:

Angel Dust

Alastor

Vox

Sir Pentious

Angel Dust

Cooking with Angel mostly consists of you cooking and him lying dramatically on the table, most probably making suggestive comments, something along the lines of:

"Why not just skip dinner and all these formalities and go straight to the bedroom?"

or

"Wouldn't you rather have me for dinner?"

That is, until the stove catches on fire and he has to leap over the table in an attempt to save your meal. Usually he succeeds, he is a great cook after all. You always marvel how he can turn a what seemed like a lost cause into a delicious meal.

This is not saying that you're a bad cook, it's just, it's kind of hard to concentrate when your boyfriend keeps making suggestive comments every 5 seconds... He knows that and does so on purpose, he is an annoying little shit like that.

What would you guys be cooking?

Pasta. You'll be making pasta or ravioli or any Italian dish for that matter. He LOOOOOVES Italian food, it reminds him of the past, when he was still alive, of his sister... It holds great sentimental value for him, so if he were to come home after a very rough day in the studio and see Italian food you made for him, boy would melt (please cook for him, he needs the mood boost)

As for baking, you make cupcakes and cookies. Angel usually decorates them, with pink liqueur and sprinkles. He makes some of them look like spiders and hearts - he's amazing with decorations. When he knows you're not looking, he'll make one that looks like a dick..... You know, just to get a rise out of you.

Alastor

Jambalaya. You're definitely eating jambalaya. That's his favourite dish and you bet he'll be cooking it any chance he gets.

"What do you want for dinner, dear?" Alastor calls from the kitchen

"I don't know, whatever you want" you reply.

"Jambalaya it is, then" he says cheerily as you realise your mistake and prepare to eat it for the third time this week.

Alastor definitely teaches you his mother's recipes. This is a deeply personal thing to him and a huge part of opening up and starting to trust you.

He gets really giddy and His heart absolutely melts when you cook for him from the family cookbook. Loves coming home after a hard day to have a warm dinner by a familial recipe made for him.

Great cook. If you don't know how to cook, he'd be happy to do majority of cooking in your household (Though you might have to bribe him with kisses to not use human meat).

Unfailingly offers you human flesh/ raw meat whenever he's eating it. You might see it as gross, he sees it as him being a gentleman.

Vox

Insists on following the recipe to the letter. All hell breaks lose, when there's a typo:

"Add 1500 grams of flour.... That can't be right" you read

"Come on, sweetheart, if the recipe says so, this must be the right way"

"it must've been a typo or-"

"Nah they wouldn't make such a big mistake, relax, I've got it figured out. Now help me heave the bag into the bowl"

"No! Wait don't add it all-" you try to stop him, a fruitless attempt to salvage your meal.

The flour spills out.

When you eat your stone hard cookies, Vox might admit that maybe you were right:

"i think ... Maybe it was a typo actually"

"Ya think?" Would be your aggravated reply.

You end up eating at some fancy restaurant (He made the reservations even before you attempted your cooking experiment. He remembers how may previous attempts had turned out an has a fair estimation of both of yours cooking skills)

Sir pentious

You don't just cook food. You make complicated constructions out of it. It's a form of art. You always feel sorry to eat it at the end.

For one reason or another, your kitchen is stacked with overcomplicated machines. They are proud creations off your partner and are mostly designed to aid in cooking, in the most silly way (think- overcomplicated pan that flips the pancakes themselves).

Mostly. Apparently, Sir Pentious deemed it crucial to add murderous features to those machines and other kitchen utensils in your possession (think- the aforementioned pan can procure a mass destruction laser on demand).

Sometimes you would have competitions: who can make teh most complicated, aesthetically looking meal in record time. The results vary:

Sometimes you end up with a delicious two-course + desert meal, that took hours of preparation and you had a ton of fun.

And other times you end up with chaos and half burned food, that took 10 minutes to prepare. Because:

"You looked like you were nearly done, I had to rush!"

"You rushing made me rush!"

"I only rushed because you rushed!"

Both the times you end up with a completely demolished kitchen. Its a miracle neither of you lost any limbs!

But at the end of the day, you have a nice, fairly edible meal, with your partner and joke about how the preparation went. Praising each other saves:

"That was amazing, really. The way you simultaneously finished the sauce while being at the stove and cutting the tomatoes!"

and laughing at the fails:

"I cant believe it took you 30 minutes to prepare the sauce... You kept adding Sault, and then deciding that it was too salty so you had to add the other ingredients to balance it out!" You'd giggle remembering it

"But it hasss to be perfect" Pentious would hiss out.

"It was perfect" you'd reply with a smile "Everything was amazing, love"

A/n: This is the end, hopefully you enjoyed it!

[angelstitss]

here’s a bunch of hazbin hotel incorrect quotes for u losers 🥰💗 (if yall want more of this lemme know)

angel, to alastor: why is lucifer not talking?

alastor: i’m playing the silent game with him.

angel: well, then you just lost.

alastor: i lost two hours ago. i gave him ear plugs and told him to close their eyes. it was the only way i could think of to get him to shut up.

_________________________________________

husk: come to dinner tonight. i can’t cook, but i’ll bring plenty of free wine.

angel: marry me.

_________________________________________

vox: alastor, i…

vox: i love you!

alastor: not my problem.

_________________________________________

angel: hey, husk, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

husk: what would it be like? inconvenient, mostly.

angel: no, i mean, what would they be like, the kids? you ever think about it?

husk: can't really say i have.

angel: you know, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

husk: sorry, angel. for what it's worth, i’m picturing them now. a boy and a girl. two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

_________________________________________

(ep 1-3 dynamic)

husk: go fuck yourself.

angel, smugly: sure, but only if you watch

_________________________________________

(before they started dating)

vaggie: i’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. no response.

charlie: wow. they sound stupid.

vaggie: but they’re not. they’re really smart actually. just dense.

charlie: maybe you need to be more obvious? like, i don’t know… “hey! i love you!”

vaggie: i guess you’re right. hey charlie, i love you.

charlie: see! just say that!

vaggie: holy fucking shit.

charlie: if that flies over their head then, sorry vaggie, but they're too dumb for you.

vaggie: charlie.

_________________________________________

husk: i feel like doing something stupid.

angel: i’m stupid, do me.

_________________________________________

charlie: hey cherri, wanna third wheel on my date with vaggie tomorrow?

cherri bomb: sure.

charlie: pentious! wanna third wheel on my date with vaggie tomorrow?

charlie: great! i’ve always wanted to go on a double date!

cherri & pentious: ...

vaggie: charlie...

[vaggietheangel]

Huskerdust headcannons

Husk bet that Angel couldn't do a hand stand. Angel tried to prove him wrong imiedlty, he fell and broke a coffee table. Niffty was furious.

Angel is the big spoon but has to bend his body in very weird ways, to cuddel Husk without hurting his wings.

Husk is up do date on all of of the gossip in the studio. He's a good listener and enjoys the drama.

Husk takes Angel on dates to the aquarium. He thinks the blob fish are very ugly, but Angel loves them.

Angel smokes regular cigarettes, and Husk smokes cigars. They swap sometimes and give each other a kiss when they do.

Husk kisses the pink spots on Angel's face thinking that they're freskels. Angel reveals that they're eyes and he thinks that's even cuter.

Angel complains about how bad in bed some of the guys at work are, and Husk thinks it's the funniest thing.

Husk loves seeing Angel in dresses and suits equally. But he LOVES when Angel is wearing sweatpants/pajamas and no makeup. Angel could like like he woke up fron a month long coma, and Husk would tell him he's the more beautiful being in creation.

Angel hates Alastor after finding out how he treats Husk. He's pretty protective of him, if it were anyone else Angel would have killed him. He dosn't want to risk Alastor taking it out on Husk. Sinse he can't use physical violence against Alastor, he trained Fat nuggets to shit in Alastors shoes.

Instead, Angel cuddles and comforts Husk when Alastor goes too far. He pulls Husk into his lap and kisses him on the forhead and nose.

Husk likes to take Angel for flights around pentragram city.

Husk doesn't like Angel playing with his ears, so Angel plays with his hair instead. Husk enjoys that a lot more. Angel also likes to brush his hair.

Husk kisses Angel on the cheek whenever he walks past him.

Angel masages Husks back every night. His back is always in pain because of his awful posture and heavey wings.

Angel is a great cook, and is an asshole in the kitchen. Husk is the only person he is nice to when he's cooking. Husk is a shit cook and tried to impress Angel by making the vegetarian lasagna he likes. Husk could tell he was lying about liking it right away and asked him to just be honest with him.

Angel and Husk usually call each other by pet names and will only use their actual names if they're having a serious conversation.

Angel calls Husk: Handsome, honey and Amore Mio.

Husk calls Angel:Baby, Georgous and Tesoro.

Angel and Husk are both animal people, they they always have at least one pet. Angel keeps bringing home strays. Hopefully Fat nuggets its immortal.

Husk looks after Fat nuggets when Angel is busy. They see Fat nuggets as their son. If Angel asks Husk to babysit him Husk says "He's my baby too its not babysitting."

Angel kisses the heart shaped beans on Husk's paws.

After a few years of dateing Angel accidentally introduced Husk as his husband. Husk went with it and they started referring to each other as husbands despite not being married yet.