#angsttober

[ditzydisaster13]

October Occupation

we all know October is the month of challenges. Some of the prompts were given to me; others, I found myself. Note: I will not be doing Kinktober. Find that’s yourself you nasty!

There’s Inktober:

Goretober:

Flufftober:

and Angsttober:

My Ao3:

An Ocean of our Time -> Flufftober2024 writing Will be full series of 1shots individually posted.

The Darkness it Takes -> Angsttober2024 Writing Will be full series of 1shots individually posted.

[d011zk1ll]

Finally doing angsttober!!! TW: gore kinda

[notyouhuh]

How could a creature, start so innocent as this

To become a horrid duo of man, lacking of bliss

A doctor with horrors, built at his hands

And a chiropteric disaster, the victim of magic, killed in their lands

My Mias World AU is a disaster omg

I need a lot of explaining as to why Gillian's evil and Lyer is… also evil, but not as evil as in canon

Also they're all cat boys, good luck deciphering that

[elmatadorisgay]

Hey guys so I have been writing recently but its been mostly alltober prompts. Anyway you can still request prompts even into October until I have all the prompts filled.

Again if you don't know the challenge attatched to these its called Alltober which for me are basically a bunch of prompts that can be requested as fluff, smut or angst. The only thing I won't do is anything revolving around the Dead Dove tag.

The prompts are listed below, you can request on this post on any prompt that isn't crossed off, or you can go to the fic itself

The Prompts

1. "Run!"

2. "This is your fault"

3. Forced to share a blanket/bed/etc. Idea: A sleepover at someone's house after an exciting Halloween party.

4. "How much of that did you hear?"

5. "I'm not going anywhere"

6. "this has to be a dream" Idea: Character A is crushing hard on character B who barely notices them, then during a Halloween, they went to for fun Character B makes big moves on Character A, causing them to question reality

7. "When were you going to tell me?"

8. "You were right. I was wrong."

9. If only it wasn't for (...)

10. "Take me instead" Idea: The characters are at a party where the theme is Friday the 13th/ Halloween(movie). Character A is the 'killer' and corners a few characters. Character B knows what they're playing at though and tells A to take them instead.

11. "So... earlier..."

12. "Close the door!

13. "There has to be another way"

14. "Never let me go"

15. "Don't make me regret this"

16. "Not today"

17. "I don't want this"

18. "It smells like...."

19. "Am I your favorite?"

20. "We're in public"

21. Fake Dating

22. Stormy Nights

23. "We've talked about this"

24. When they only call each other by their last names until they don't

25. "Assume nothing"

26. "I have left the door unlocked - just in case"

27. "Who do you think you are?"

28. (Character A puts hands over Character B's eyes from behind, playfully) "Guess who?"

29. "I've never done this before"

30. "Don't look back"

31. "I don't care what anyone else thinks"Idea: Bratty bottom x stern/assertive topCharacter A(top) wants to go to a halloween party but Character B whines, huffs and teases his way to stay home and do some things while watching halloween movies together. (smut)

Joker 1: Collar grabs

Joker 2: "I knew you'd be fine"

Joker 3: "Just like that?"

[holylulusworld]

Demon Knife - Angsttober 26

Summary: You need something from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, implied abandonment, Lisa is a bitch in this one, mentions of slime (monsters), Dean being a douche, no happy ending

Trope: Friends to enemies

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

“Hey, open the door,” you’re panting heavily, but you made it to Dean’s door. Or rather his new girlfriend’s door. You harshly knock again. He just needs to help you.

“Who are you, and what do you want?” Lisa mutters behind the closed door. “I got a gun.”

“I’m a friend of Dean,” you lick your dry lips. “I’m in trouble…or not. I mean…it’s complicated.” You feel dizzier per minute. “Listen, I don’t have time to explain things. But I need to wash this stuff off me." You slur. Fuck. The slime the monsters spat at you starts working. “I need…fuck…”

“You’re drunk or on drugs. I’m not going to let you in,” she says and locks the door. “Go away. I got a child.”

“I only need water and salt to wash it off,” you lean your head against the door. “I’m not drunk, miss. I…the slime…I feel…”

You end up on the ground, darkness consuming your mind and body as loud voices lull you into sleep. You recognize one of them. It’s Dean.

 “Lis’ she doesn’t mean anything to me. Y/N is an old friend. A hunter. I guess she needs something from me. I’m not going to go with her or let her stay.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Great. That’s the first thing you want to hear after waking from another nightmare.

You groan and rub your tired eyes. “Y/N, you can’t come here, drunk and angry.” He shakes his head. “I got a new life.”

“Christ, you are as dull and unhelpful as your girlfriend,” you jolt up on the backseat of Baby, cursing because you are only wearing one of Dean’s old shirts. “Hello, Baby. I’ve missed you.” You pat the backseat.

Dean watches you get out of his car. He sighs and runs one hand down his face. “She’s not dull, nor unhelpful. But you came here. Drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” you grunt, and stomp your foot. “It was the slime making me feel dizzy. All I needed was some water and salt. I told that bitch so.”

“She’s not a bitch either,” he grits his teeth and jerks his head toward your bag in the front seat of Baby. “You should get your shit and leave.”

“I wasn’t drunk, only influenced by the slime.” You sigh deeply. The man standing in front of you is not the man you used to know. “I came here because I need one of the books in the trunk of Baby.”

“You could’ve asked Bobby,” Dean watches you snatch your bag from the seat to get a pair of jeans and a shirt out. You strip his shirt off, throwing it at Dean. “He’s got more than enough books.”

You ignore his harsh tone and the way he watches your every move.

While he tells you it was a mistake to come here, you throw your jeans on, followed by your shoes.

“I need a specific book to find a way to kill those monsters. The last one belongs to Bobby, but Sam—” You bite your tongue. It’s the first time you have said Sam's name since he jumped into the pit to defeat the devil himself. “He took the book and it’s still in the car.”

Your voice shakes as you remember the day you and Sam bickered about the book. He wanted to read it first but gave in and let you read it first.

“I know there was a remedy to neutralize their slime, and I need Ruby's knife.”

“You came all the way out here for a book?” He cocks a brow. “Really.”

You exhale sharply through your nose. “I told you that the book is the last one. Believe me, this is the last place I want to be.”

“Why do you need the knife?” He watches you dress in the hunter’s uniform. A shirt and a plaid you stole from him years ago.

You don’t look at him. Not after what he said last night. His words still echo in your mind, and you once again tell yourself he’s not worth your tears, or the heartbreak you still feel.

“Well, with two Winchesters down, and the last one living the apple pie life, the remaining hunters must do thrice the work. Now the monsters believe they can defeat anyone. If the Winchesters can fall, or if they can make them skip out on the job, those bastards believe we are all quitters.

You sneer when Dean tries to put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, we talked about this. Sammy wanted me to have a normal life.”

“Yeah, but why did you…Why her?” You sniff. “I thought…maybe…” You shake your head and swallow the words burning your tongue. “Forget it. You’ve got a new life. I hope you’re happy. Now, if you just handle me the knife, I’ll be on my way.”

Holding out your hand you try to not look at Dean. “Sweetheart, maybe you should quit too?”

You chuckle bitterly at his words. “I tried, but the man I loved chose some yoga instructor chick he met once over me. So, stop acting like you care and give me the knife.”

“I-“ Dean sighs deeply. “If that’s what you want.”

“No, but it will keep me alive. Because the man promising me to always have my back left me for some other girl.”

Dean hands you the knife. He watches you grab the book from the trunk, sniffling as your eyes land on the makeshift bookmark Sam made for you stick out of the book. “Do you need anything else?”

You huff and shake your head. “I’ve got it handled. Bobby will help me bring those slimy bastards down,” you lift your eyes from the book to glare at Dean. “He’s going to have my back.”

With that, you turn your back on Dean, to stuff the book and knife into your duffle bag and sling it over your shoulder. “Y/N, wait…”

“Save it, Winchester…” you look over your shoulder. “Maybe you should change your name too. Because we all believed that Winchesters aren’t quitters. At least Sammy was brave enough to save the world…”

It’s a low blow, but you deliver it with a smirk. Dean visibly flinches at your words but doesn’t say a thing. He just stares at you, unsure if anything he says will change your opinion.

“You should tell your girlfriend to not fuck with everyone knocking at her door. Not everyone has enough impulse control to not punch her.”

You walk out of the garage, regretting only one thing. That you must leave Baby behind…

“How’d it go?” Bobby asks as you get into his car. He nods as you show him the book. “I guess now we can get rid of these slimy bastards. How’s the boy doing?”

“Plays house with his yoga instructor. He told me to leave so,” you push the tears away, “let’s roll. I don’t want to stay in his neighborhood for too long.”

“I’m sorry kiddo…”

Bobby and you took the monsters down. It was a hard fight, and you needed the help of another hunter, but you made it.

Even though it was a struggle to forget about Dean, you managed to not think about him for the better of three months.

It gets easier to not have him around, grinning goofily, while telling you a dirty joke. You almost don’t miss his enthusiasm for food, or how he sang along to the songs he loved on the car rides you miss so much.

It almost feels like you never had feelings for him. Almost. Only this dull pain remains in your chest. But it will fade soon, you’re sure about it.

One day, Dean Winchester will only be someone you used to know…

[funkylilblob]

clonetober day whatever this counts as: mirror

didn’t really try that hard on this one

sketch under cut

[localbreeze]

HOW MANY TOBERS ARE THERE??

morrotober, ninjatober. Inktober. Cryingtober. Angsttober. Inktober. Rarepairtober lgbqttober. Cringetober. Flufftober. Sicktober. What next??? How the fuck am I gonna work on all of these???

[bookwermthings]

I'm so excited for October and it's not even September yet!!

I've set out a giant piece of paper on my table ( literally giant, covers half the table)

and made 31 squares for October days, each square has their prompt from Whumptober, Angsttober, and Flufftober, along with first impressions, brainstorm ideas for which characters from which fandom could fit with it

:) 😍

[fanfictionlibrary01]

We have a new Challenge for you!

You've heard of Flufftober, Angsttober and Smuttober... now get ready for Alltober with us!

Our Server Members enjoy all types of different fanfic genres, so why limit it to one? You can write for whatever fanfiction genre that you prefer, but every challenge entry still has to include one prompt. Only one, no cheating by doing two prompts in one story!

You can skip prompts or use one of three joker prompts to replace one you don't like, but you have to do them in the given order and you have to write at least 300 words for a prompt to "complete" it. You can start preparing your works for the challenge as soon as you read this!

The prompts for the Challenge are:

All Challenge works written by server members on Ao3 for our challenges are gathered in our Ao3 Collections. You can check out works from our earlier challenges there too ^^ .

Come join our Discord Server if you want a place to chat about your ideas and your progress on this challenge with other writers and to be added to the collection for this Challenge!

In any case, please credit us if you participate in this Challenge.

Happy writing!

[notyouhuh]

Blood tugged at the crippled pants, glued to his thighs

Trickling down, and attracting some sickly dark flies

Death was imminent, he heard in his mind

But more of the doctors wouldn't leave him to die

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

Hello, how is Angsttober coming along for you?

Hi hi, anon! The truth is...it isn't 😂 I haven't been writing much lately due to some irl stuff, though I am writing right now! Just focusing on an unfinished wip instead of something new. That being said, if there's a certain prompt you wanna see me write, feel free to request it and I'll see what I can do!

[d011zk1ll]

I'm feeling pretty fuckin silly right about now (I'm starting to brew up angsttober ausmp ideas)

[holylulusworld]

Two bikes (1) - Angsttober 8

Summary: You’re back in your hometown and meet two men from your past.

Pairing: former Jax Teller x fem!Reader (pre-story), Biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, language, kinda cheating, implied/mentions of past cheating

Trope: Angst

A/N: I wanted Jax and Biker!Bucky in one fic. So suffer with me...

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

Two bikes masterlist

Back in town. Back to square one. Restart. Doing it all over.

You huff when you get out of your car. It doesn’t fit right in, just like you. It’s too expensive and conspicuous, for a small town like Charming. And you’re not the girl leaving this town with only a few bucks in your pocket but so many dreams.

It can’t be helped. You decided to come back here to find the inspiration for your next book. Change is what you want.

New place. New book. New you.

“Y/N?”

Crap. You didn’t think anyone would recognize you so soon. But here you are, finding yourself in the embrace of the man you ran away from so many years ago. “Hi, Jax.”

Fuck, he smells the same, and it still feels good being in his arms.

“I can’t believe it’s really you. I heard rumors about a VIP coming to our town.” He releases you and takes a step back to drink you in. “Look at you. All fancy and grown. You look…” Jax can’t find the words. “It’s good to see you, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t expect a reception committee,” you chuckle. Jax smiles as you take your time to drink him in. He wears torn jeans, a white tee, and a leather jacket. You can see that he’s second-in-command now, and sigh. When you left town, you had hoped Jax would turn his back on the club and do something more…legal. “I see you’re still with them.”

“It’s my family,” he hastily replies, but his tone lacks enthusiasm. “We are having a get-together tonight. A barbecue with family and friends. Why don’t you come too?”

“Jax,” you exhale sharply. “I haven’t seen most of them in years. I don’t think they want the girl they met once or twice years ago at their party.”

“Sweetheart, you’re still part of the family,” he shrugs. “Come on. Gemma will freak out seeing you all grown and Opi will love seeing you.”

“That big dummy is still around? I thought he’d leave you,” you snicker. “You were glued together at your hips if I recall right.”

“Well, he’s my best friend,” Jax grabs your hand. “Please come and have a little fun. For the old times.”

“I-“ you lick your lips. You knew that you’d eventually run into Jax and the others. If you want to start anew – why not see your old friends and Jax again? “Okay.”

“You can come around at any time, Y/N,” he grins. “If you want to, I’ll pick you up.”

“Nah,” you shake your head. This will go too far. You’re not ready to be back on a bike with Jax. “I’ll drive. I don’t trust you with speed and such.”

The reunion went surprisingly smoothly. Gemma hugged you, and wouldn’t stop asking questions. Opi offered a beer and a bear hug and the others greeted you like an old friend.

It almost felt like you never left. Almost.

You’re watching the others talk and having fun while Jax tries to talk you into going for a ride in the morning.

He has you caged against the wall, one hand next to your head, and his lips dangerously close to yours. Jax whispers your name and says all the right things.

Damn him. He easily had you wrapped around his finger in no time. Forgotten are the heartbreak and all the tears you shed for him.

“Y/N, tell you feel the same. Say that you feel there’s still this spark between us,” he leans impossibly closer to brush his lips over yours. “Sweetheart.”

“Jax.” You breathe out. “I-“ You open your mouth when he claims your lips. And you wrap your arms around him to hold him close.

“I knew it,” he nips at your lips, eagerly tasting you. “The moment I saw you standing next to your car, looking a little lost, I knew you’d come back to me.”

“Jax, it’s not that easy,” you grip his jacket tightly, not wanting him to pull away. “Maybe we can…”

“Jax, have a look at this. We need your help,” Tig ruins the intimate moment. He drags Jax away, unaware that you are about to do something stupid.

“Later,” you mouth as Jax glances at you. He nods, giving you a cracked smile before following Tig.

You’re pacing back and forth. Jax went to his room some time ago and you try to decide if you want to let your heart win tonight.

"Maybe this is the chance you've been waiting."

You take a deep breath and decide to go to his room and take the chance on him. Maybe this time, it won’t end in heartbreak.

You want to knock and feel like a fool. This used to be so easy when you were just horny and silly teens. Now you are a woman, and he’s a man. The man you still desire.

Without thinking twice, you open the door, pushing it open. You smile and want to tell Jax that you are ready to go on a ride with him tomorrow.

“What the fuck!” Your heart drops, and you feel like someone sent you back in time only for you to walk in on Jax and some other girl.

“Sweetheart…Y/N…” Jax gasps as you catch him red-handed with one of the girls from the strip club Tig wouldn’t stop talking about.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to stop you from ruining whatever that was not ten minutes ago,” you laugh at your stupidness.

You turn to leave and slam the door shut behind you. It’s not the first time in your life that someone made a fool out of you. But tonight, you did this to yourself.

“Babe, please wait,” Jax stumbles out of the room. He’s only in his boxers and tries to explain why he went from kissing you to fucking that girl. “I can explain…”

“You want to explain this?” you angrily point at the door. “Save it, Jax. You didn’t change one bit. One moment you sweet-talk to me and kiss me and the next you fuck her." You choke on your tears. “You made me feel like we got a second chance.”

Shaking your head, you try to hold back more tears. “It’s my fault. It was foolish of me to believe that for once I wasn't second best to you. How could I? If I’m so unimportant to you that you fuck her minutes after you kissed me.”

“Babe, we aren’t together, and,” he runs his fingers through his messed-up hair, “you got me so hard. I didn’t want to fuck things up and pounce on you. I just needed to release steam.”

“See, that’s the problem, Jackson Teller,” you silently sniffle. “You don’t even feel guilty for hurting me all over again. Ten minutes, Jax. You had to wait for ten minutes to get your dick wet. I’m glad it took me those ten minutes because you’ll never be faithful.”

“Please, let’s talk. We can go inside and…” He can only watch you step away from him. “Sweetheart.”

“I don’t need this and,” you push against his chest to slam him into the door, “I don’t have to listen to your lies. You’re right. We’re not together. We are nothing to each other. Only a faded memory. Let’s keep it that way.”

“Wait…I…”

“You better go back inside and finish what you started with her. At least give the poor girl an orgasm after all the trouble…”

You storm off, and shoulder past bikers. Gemma wants to stop you, but you’re too angry and hurt to even listen to her. Instead, you run toward your car and speed off.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” you slam your hands on the steering wheel. It feels like the world decided to fuck you over once again. “No. You can’t just die out here in the middle of nowhere.”

It’s all too much. Being back in your hometown. Meeting your high school sweetheart only for him to break your heart again.

You sit in silence for a moment and think about all the decisions leading you back to him. Bad choices, you guess.

You hide your face in the palm of your hands. How could your fresh start end like this?

You jump when someone knocks at your window. Great. Now you drew attention toward you and your car.

“Hey, why are you lurking around in front of our club?” The man asks. “Are you with the cops? We do nothing illegal here.”

Your heart races when the man knocks at your window again. If fate wants to fuck you over some more, so be it. You roll down the window to look at the man.

“Sorry. Uh-my car just…” you sniffle. “The engine died, and I can’t get it back to life. I wasn’t lurking, just thinking about what to do now.”

He looks inside your car, but his features soften when he looks at your teary eyes.

“Hi. I didn’t want to scare you, doll. Do you want me to have a look at the engine? I know a thing or two about cars.”

“James? James Barnes,” You blink a few times to check if you saw right. “Is that you?”

“You know me?” He asks, looking a little confused.

“It’s me, Y/N Y/L/N. We went to the same high school. You probably don’t remember me. I was a little shy, and you were two years ahead of me at school.”

“Wait…” He wrinkles his forehead. “You were the cute girl Jax Teller was dating. I always wondered how he got so lucky.”

You clear your throat, not wanting to talk about Jax, and what he did to you. Back then and today. “He didn’t feel lucky, I guess.”

“What did he do, doll?”

“I don’t feel like talking tonight. Let’s say he liked to stray. Back then, and recently,” you give him a cracked smile. “He’s the reason I drove out of town only to end up here.”

“A shame. He should’ve valued you more, doll,” he flashes you a stunning smile. “If you open the hood for me, I’ll have a look at the engine.”

“That’s very kind of you, James.”

“Call me Bucky doll,” he grins when you open the hood. “A pretty lady like you can always call me Bucky…”

Two bikes (2)

Tags in reblog.

[elmatadorisgay]

Im doing a writing challenge; Alltober

ao3 work for the prompts if you'd rather comment: click here

Anyway the challenge is Alltober which is basically a mix of Smuttober, Flufftober, and Angsttober and I will be trying to post one of these prompts for every day of October(if my schedule permits)

How to Request: Comment below this post, or on the fic. You can also message me, following these guidelines

The prompt you want

The ship

Smut, Fluff or Angst

optional, but any ideas you have for the prompt

The oneshots will still be Halloween themed btw

What I won't do; Anything that falls under Dead Dove besides character death One oneshot per prompt and you can swap regular prompts for one of the 3 Joker prompts at the bottom. (Will be crossing off prompts once someone has grabbed it)

The Prompts

1. "Run!"

2. "This is your fault"

3. Forced to share a blanket/bed/etc. Idea: A sleepover at someone's house after an exciting Halloween party.

4. "How much of that did you hear?"

5. "I'm not going anywhere"

6. "this has to be a dream" Idea: Character A is crushing hard on character B who barely notices them, then during a Halloween, they went to for fun Character B makes big moves on Character A, causing them to question reality

7. "When were you going to tell me?"

8. "You were right. I was wrong."

9. If only it wasn't for (...)

10. "Take me instead" Idea: The characters are at a party where the theme is Friday the 13th/ Halloween(movie). Character A is the 'killer' and corners a few characters. Character B knows what they're playing at though and tells A to take them instead.

11. "So... earlier..."

12. "Close the door!

13. "There has to be another way"

14. "Never let me go"

15. "Don't make me regret this"

16. "Not today"

17. "I don't want this"

18. "It smells like...."

19. "Am I your favorite?"

20. "We're in public"

21. Fake Dating

22. Stormy Nights

23. "We've talked about this"

24. When they only call each other by their last names until they don't 25. "Assume nothing"

26. "I have left the door unlocked - just in case"

27. "Who do you think you are?"

28. (Character A puts hands over Character B's eyes from behind, playfully) "Guess who?"

29. "I've never done this before"

30. "Don't look back"

31. "I don't care what anyone else thinks"

Joker 1: Collar grabs

Joker 2: "I knew you'd be fine"

Joker 3: "Just like that?"

Have fun requesting!

[duckugou]

@ my worst (nsfw)

Iwaizumi x fem!reader

cw: ANGST as hell, smut, bathroom sex, public sex, unprotected sex, biting, marking vaguely, toxic relationship, toxic friendship. just toxic all around, theyre like 24 lmao

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

!!come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in! Requests are open!!!!

------------------------------------------------------

He finds solace in burying himself in someone new once things get too committed with his current fling.

You find solace in being used by the man you love the most.

"maybe im the best mistake you ever made. sounds so fuckin beautiful when you say my name."

Every friday night, he found himself clung to your side in your bed after he stumbled there from the club. You left the door unlocked for him, knowing what he would end up doing. Even if it killed you.

He smelled like a different girl whenever he laid with you. Some times it was cheap vanilla. Other times it was a more expensive floral. Either way, it was always subtly masked by the smell of his sweat.

You couldn't help but find yourself feeling at home due to the subtle scent of him. You allowed yourself to lay on his chest while he murmured that you were the best thing to ever happen to him.

During his sober hours, he was the sweetest. He never gave a second thought when it came to giving you the world. Coffee in the mornings, memes sent to your phone during work hours to cheer you up, and dinner at night. It was a dream. It was amazing bliss for both of you- until anyone brought it up.

"maybe im the worst, the worst you ever had. tell you youre beautiful then stab you in the back."

"Damn! Flowers, huh? You finally decide to lock her down or what, Iwa?" Oikawa asked, making the both of your heads whip around to him as everyone in the crew approached.

This sentence made both of you want to puke.

He wanted to puke because commitment scared him shitless. He didn't know how to be with just one person, even if you had his heart in full. He didn't want to disappoint you in the long run and hurt you more than everything hes done combined.

You wanted to puke because you knew what comes next. Every time someone brings it up to him- that you two should date and are basically a couple. He would distance himself more and more each time. 'here comes the hurt' you thought to yourself.

"No, what the fuck- why do you always ask that? What I cant be nice to my friend?" Iwaizumi asked, flustered and red.

"You never give me flowers!" Oikawa said, jokingly holding his heart in fake pain.

"Yeah because you fucking suck." He said, looking back to you and the flowers he bought from the lady on the street corner. "These- a lady was selling them and I felt bad, ok? Dont like- I'm not- It's not like that." He stuttered out, shattering your heart all over again.

"I know." You respond, defeated.

"Right. Well, I gotta go." He wiped his hands on his jeans, looking towards the exit.

"What? You just got here-" Oikawa began, getting interrupted.

"Yeah, forgot about a previous uh- responsibility. I'll see you all later." He brushed his friend off, walking out, not looking back at you.

You eyes would've filled with tears had this been one of the first times, but it wasnt. A sigh leaving your mouth, you sent a glare to Oikawa and shoved the flowers to his chest.

"Why do you always have to bring that shit up?" You ask harshly.

"You two obviously like each other- its so stupid."

"It's also none of your business." You sighed.

----

"dont try to call, do not disturb, i do not want to speak."

Walking back to his place, Iwaizumi knew his friends were right. Y/n was someone he should 'lock down'. Nobody has ever understood him the way she did. Nobody else takes time with him like her.

But that's the scariest part. If he was to commit to her, he multiplies the chance of her being crushed by him by 100. And he couldn't live with that.

So he decided to do what he did best. Push her away again.

----

"the more you try to fix me the more you make it worse."

Friday came along sooner than she thought it would. The days of the week passed by with no contact from Iwa. Y/n shouldn't be surprised. The longest he went was 2 and a half weeks and its only been 4 days. Sure he would hold out even longer this time, she began to think about how easy her life would be without him. Without loving him.

But it was too easy to love him when things were good. He was perfect for her- he just can't see it.

This pattern has made her numb. It hurts every single time she gets close to him again. She finds herself missing his scent on her sheets and realizes how awful the situation is- and will continue being- if she doesnt change something herself. She couldnt keep depending on him to crawl back to her apologizing- because what if he doesnt this time?

Getting up from the couch and brushing her stray tears away, Y/n decided to have a trial run of sorts. 'Lets see what life would be like without him for real' she thought to herself.

Sitting in front of her vanity, Y/n took in her disheveled appearance. This is what he reduced her to, and he didn't show any signs of caring or stopping the pattern.

Standing up and letting go of a deep breath she didn't know she was holding, Y/n walked to the bathroom to shower. Tonight would be the night things changed.

Right?

----

Walking into the club with her wallet and phone in hand, Y/n looked around, taking in her unfamiliar surroundings- fighting the urge to turn and run out.

Once she sat at the bar, Y/n felt a little more comfortable, letting her shoulders relax as she ordered a drink.

"I fucking love that dress!" A shrill voice sounded next to her as a pretty blonde turned in her seat to face Y/n.

"Oh- thank you! Your makeup is amazing!" Y/n returned the compliment, appreciating the shadow the stranger put on her eyelids.

"Thank you! I'm Lily!" The stranger said, instantly warming up to the nervous girl.

"Y/n, nice to meet you." Y/n introduced herself, taking a sip of her drink.

"What brings you here all alone?" Lily inquired, forgetting about the friends she came with and focusing on Y/n.

"Ah, heartbreak. Ya know." Y/n didn't want to dive into any details, giving the girl a short explanation.

"Oh god, I know that too well. Was it some guy?"

"Yeah- just some guy." Y/n sighed.

"Fuck men! Thats it- we aren't gonna sit here and be sad! Not on my watch! C'mon!" Lily stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand and strutting off to the dancefloor.

Taken back by the sudden warmth of the stranger in the best way, Y/n smiled. Tonight would be different.

"OH MY GOD THE PERFECT SONG!" Lily shouted over the music as none other than doja cat started playing over the speakers of the club. "DOIN TOO MUCH RELAX A BIT!" She began singing, taking Y/n's hands and putting them in the air, fingers interlocked.

"ACTIN LIKE THAT CUZ YOUR DADS A BITCH!" Y/n joined in, letting herself simply enjoy the night.

"MUST BE THE WAY THAT THE PLANETS IS!" Lily shouted, smiling.

"MUST BE YA FACE CUZ ITS NOT YA DICK!" The two girls sang in unison, laughing.

Across the club, Iwaizumi stood with a random tall red head, mind absolutely blank as he caught sight of his best friend dancing with a cute blonde.

Taken back, he felt all of the blood in his body rush to his head. Why the fuck was she here- in a club? With some random girl? In that dress? What is happening- what alternate universe is he in?

The way you danced around to this song made his heart ache. He hurt you again.

He stood and watched helplessly as you and your new friend were approached by 2 men. They seemed to introduce themselves to you, asking to dance. And you accepted.

Iwaizumi watched you dance with a glow around you, thinking about how happy you seemed without him. But it wasn't fair. What about him, right? I mean, he's not even having fun! This redhead is so-

"Boring." He finished his thought out loud to himself.

"Whats that?" The red head asked.

"I need another drink." He walked away, eyes held on your figure in that stupid dress.

Running directly into you, nudging you away from the tall man in front of you with his shoulder, Iwaizumi faked innocence.

"Oh shit- I'm so sorry- Y/n?" He asked as if he didn't know.

"Oh- hi Iwazumi." You replied, shaken from the impact of him both physically and emotionally.

"im not ready for you to forget me."

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not minding any listening ears near by.

"I'm just...trying to have fun." You explained, feeling drained by his presence.

"tell you you're beautiful then stab you in the back"

"Well, you look great." He offered, remembering how great you felt in his arms, not wanting you to bed in this random guys arms tonight instead. "Careful with this one," he said to the man. "Shes a lot to handle."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked, taken back yet again.

"Oh you know. She can be a little much- especially in the bedroom!" He spoke to the man as if he asked, knowing he hadn't slept with you more than one time at Bokuto's birthday party during seven minutes in heaven. It turned into 30 minutes in bliss, which ended in him not speaking to you for a week.

"Excuse me?!" You shouted, shoving Iwa.

"Do you two have something-" The man started.

"No!"

"Yup."

You both stood silent, staring at each other. Why would he say yes-

"Sorry buddy, you can have her tonight though." Iwa patted the man on the back, walking away.

"Uh, I'm not gonna get in the middle of all of that- sorry sweetheart." The man said, offering a sorry expression and walking away.

Anger bubbled up in your chest and your eyes found Iwazumi's figure walking to the bathrooms.

Storming into the men's bathroom, you looked around, only seeing Iwazumi. Locking the door, you were determined to hash this out once and for all.

"this is the end this is the end this is the end of me"

"Hey, this is the mens bathroom-" He began, interrupted by your hands on his chest, shoving him.

"What in the FUCK what that?! You don't get to not talk to me for days and then- GOD we only had sex ONE FUCKIN TIME IWA." You shouted.

"Dont care. Dont want you in some random assholes bed." He stood his ground, looking down at you- down your dress momentarily.

"Oh but it's okay for you to fuck anything on legs, yeah? You're such an asshole- you don't get to choose for me."

"I'm just helping you out, princess."

"HELPING ME OUT?! Helping me out. Well, you can help by figuring out what the fuck you want from me. I'm done being used by you. I'm done going days being ignored and I'm done pretending I dont lo-" You shouted through fresh tears.

"Dont." He interrupted, stepping closer to you.

"Dont what? Say I love you?" You challenged.

"You dont."

"Yes I fucking do Iwaizumi." You stood your ground, stepping closer to him, noticing the breath hitch in his chest.

"Fuck." He muttered, his hand finding the back of your neck and kissing you. Kissing you like you were oxygen and the world was running out. Kissing you like a starved man finding food in the desert. Kissing you like-

Like he loved you.

But he didn't right?

Pushing you against the sink, he put his hands on the back of your thighs, setting you on the counter.

"Y/n I- fuck. What are you doing? With me? Why me? You can do so much better- I'm the worst." He asked, foreheads touching.

"Hajime. I wish I knew why I'm so drawn to you. You're my best friend- you get me." You whispered.

"What if I hurt you?" He asked, pain in his chest.

"What if you don't?"

His mind raced with that thought, diving into fantasies of being together with you, kissing you whenever he wanted, sharing a bedroom, having kids maybe.

His mouth found yours again as he pulled your hips closer to him, his center in-between your spread legs.

You felt the straps of your dress being pulled down, revealing your braless chest.

"Shit, Y/n. So pretty. So perfect-" His lips landed on your right nipple, hand tweaking the left as you moaned. You threw your head back and felt your heart flutter.

"Haji-" You moaned out, needing him. He was what you needed. He always was.

"More." He said, pushing your dress up your legs and taking your soaked panties off. "Need you." He muttered out, lips attaching themselves to your neck, a finger diving into your entrance, causing you to scream out in pleasure. You hands searched for his hardening dick through his pants, finding it and rubbing it.

"Shit Iwa." Your moans egged him on, another finger burying itself inside you as he searched for the spot that would make you twitch.

And when he found it, you were putty in his hands.

"Haji!" You screamed, your hand gripping his dick through his pants and making him groan into your ear. "Please please please!" You begged him, needing to cum.

"Cum on my fingers, princess. Remind me what it feels like. C'mon baby." The feeling of his breath as he whispered names to you sent you over the edge. Cumming all over his hand, you moaned him name over and over.

Iwaizumi pulled his pants down, spitting in his hand and stroking his cock as you came down from your first high.

"Need to be in you." He muttered, lining himself up, not waiting for you to be fully done riding out your orgasm.

Thrusting in, you both moaned out at the same time. Nothing has ever felt as good as his cock in you. The world was fuzzy as you became overstimulated from him fucking you so hard.

His right hand behind your head as he kissed and bit your neck all over, leaving marks. His left hand holding your hips down so he could rut into you properly.

"Mine." He growled against your neck, needing to mark you. "You're fucking mine. I'm yours- shit. I'm yours Y/n. Take me please. Yours yours yours." The words fell off of his lips, finally saying what he's wanted to all along. And he meant it.

"Mine! Fuck Haji- you're mine promi-ise!" You moaned out, feeling everything collide in your core.

"Gonna fuck you forever- only pussy I need. Only one I wa-ant. Fuck baby."

"Haji-i-i! Too-oo much- fuck!" You screamed out, second orgasm coming fast as his first approached.

"Hold it for me, princess. Wan' cum with you." He muttered, feeling your walls tighten and strangle his cock.

"Ca-ant!" You yelled, trying to hold back as he thrusted, his dick twitching inside of you, hips stuttering.

"Fucking hold it." He demanded, fingers gripping your hip harder with every second that passed and he felt himself get closer.

"Cum with me princess." He said, letting you both fall over the edge, you head resting in his shoulder as he continued to fuck him cum into you on the bathroom counter.

Heavy breaths filled the room as you came down from your highs. He lifted your chin from his shoulder, kissing you softly.

"You mean it, Haji?" You asked, overly sensitive and needing to be told everything you want to hear.

"'Course I do. 'S always been you princess." He felt his chest tighten as he realized what he's admitted to.

"could you love me at my worst?"

Pulling out, he helped you clean yourself off with toilet paper- joys of bathroom sex.

You both got dressed and you face the mirror, fixing your hair and makeup as best as you could.

You both walked out together, his hand in yours as you walked down the street to your apartment. That's why he ended up at yours all the time, after all. You were close. You made sense.

Changing into a big t-shirt, Iwaizumi stripping down to his boxers, you both cuddled in your bed, his own scent the only one on him besides your own perfume. His scent able to really seep into your sheets.

"demons are friends, angels are enemies."

You fell asleep with a smile.

He fell asleep with self destructive thoughts racing through his head. He's never been good at fighting those demons telling him he's not enough and doesn't deserve you.

----

You woke up and rolled over, expecting to see your Haji.

But the bed was empty. Every trace of him was gone besides the smell of him on your bed.

In that moment you knew- you were going to be stuck in this pattern with him forever. And you couldn't stop it.

And in 2 weeks when he calls you apologizing, you would let him crawl back into your bed.

Fresh tears streamed down your face as you rolled back over, holding your pillow tightly, crying yourself back to sleep.

"Could you love me at my worst?"

----

Iwaizumi walked into the apartment he shared with Oikawa, spotting the brunette sitting on the couch drinking his coffee.

"When are you gonna stop this shit with Y/n? You're hurting her." Oikawa asked lightly.

"It'll hurt more if I-"

"Youre a pussy, Hajime. Grow up." Oikawa spoke harshly, standing up and walking past him to his bedroom, ready to text you about how you deserve better, knowing you'd never let yourself let Iwaizumi go. No matter how badly you both hurt, this toxic cycle was permanent.

Stepping into the shower, Iwaizumi thought about last night and how you felt. In his arms, around his dick, everything.

He cried for 30 minutes in the shower before crawling into his bed, crying himself to sleep as well.

"Could you love me at my worst?"

The answer would always be yes, no matter how bad the worst gets.

[captainderyn]

Day 3: Gestures

I’m a day behind but whatever

Prompt: 03. “you did this?” 

Fandom: LOTRO

Warnings: mentions of parental loss and grieving

Read on AO3

--

One day a year always passed Faewryn in a fog. She woke in the morning with a pit in her stomach, the empty house around her urging her to linger beneath her covers to deter the start of her morning. Thoughts did not register much even as the rising sun dusted off the sleepy cobwebs in her mind.

Two years now had ticked by was the only thing that didn’t slip from her thoughts like water between fingers. Two years .

It should have passed by now. She thought the same thing last year. For most days, it had faded to a dull ache reserved for only the quietest of moments when the demons in her mind stirred from slumber and reared their ugly heads.

The demons had stirred two days ago. The first day was a grim reminder of when the guards had stormed the gates after what was meant to be a routine patrol. A day stained with bright blood and buckled armor. The second was muffled, only snippets making it through the haze that clung to it. Hazy memories of pallor and the light of her father’s healing hands.

She didn’t know what day was worse. Or if today somehow only doubled the ache in her heart.

Today was smothered in last breaths, lapping water, and creaking ships.

As with the years previous, people made their rounds to knock on her door and offer their sincere condolences. Their numbers dwindled this year and their words came less sincere. A few familiar, kind souls, still handed her warm covered dishes with homely aromas.

They were simply the ones closest to her mother, who still felt the pain alongside Faewryn. A few letters with bleeding ink sat open on her table, postmarked form Ithilien.

Nothing remained in Rivendell to hear condolences from.

Just as the sun had risen, within a blink it was setting and Faewryn stood alone in the sanctuary of the Citadel. In her hands she cupped a lit candle, the small flame flickering in the rising evening breeze.

Lining the wall in front of her were a meager few candles. Some were melted down to wax in their little cups, others went out completely. There were more candles here than people who had spoken to her.

Many people of Gondor remembered their heroes from the War of the Ring. Not many remembered their grieving daughter, sole inherent to a legacy far too grand for one set of shoulders.

“Faewryn?” The voice muddled its way through the fog of her brain, familiar enough that she knew she should react to her. Turning her head to look was worse than trying to swim through current roughened water.

Hands cupped hers about the same time the connection that it was Eldarion standing in front of hers. In the same instant she realized the candle was gone from her hands and that it was falling from Eldarion’s hands instead. It splattered on the ground in a pile of soupy wax and she looked at Eldarion with wide eyes.

He shook his hands up and down with a muffled curse before reaching out for hers. When their fingers brushed a dart of pain cleared the haze around Faewryn and she let out a small gasp.

Small pink marks mapped across her hands and she stared at them curiously, turning her hands this way and that.

“When did you get here?” she found fit to ask.

“Father released me from the council early.” Eldarion did not reach for her again, but she still felt him near. “He wanted me to relight my mother and his candle, and I wanted to light my own.”

Faewryn frowned, looking askance at the candles. Indeed, one partway melted candle, black as night like Gondor’s flag, sat next to a newly lit one.

“I would’ve known you were here.” she said, though that was proving unlikely.

Eldarion echoed the sentiment, “I thought you knew I was here. But when I looked over you were just staring over the horizon with hot wax dripping down your hands.”

She ran her fingers over her left hand with a wince.

“I thought I would’ve noticed.” she murmured.

“This has always been a rough day for you.” Eldarion rested his hand gently between her shoulders and though he applied no pressure, nor implied pressure. Faewryn drifted to lean against his side. He was warm, comforting. He did not clear her mind entirely but at the least he was a light in the thick grey fog.

His arm went around her and he pressed a light kiss to the top of her head.

“If I asked to show you something, would you be willing?”

Confused, she looked up at him, “Why would I not be?”

“I don’t know, perhaps you are tired or would not want to walk all the way down to the Workers’ Circle with me.”

The thought of putting one foot in front of the other that many times was already exhausting. But saying no meant returning to her empty house or staying here with only candles for company. She had no doubt that if Eldarion was not preoccupied with something then the council would snatch him back and sit him down once again.

“I do like the idea of being with you.” she said, attempting for humor and falling far from it. “Though you may need to carry me there.”

She gasped, grappling for purchase on his velvety tunic, when suddenly she was swept off of her feet. He smiled at her, the sort of smile that went all the way into his eyes and lit them up bright like stars, “I’ll do what I must.”

“I did not mean now .” Enough of a laugh made it into Faewryn’s tone that it felt like some great, dark weight released from her chest, allowing her to breathe slightly easier.

With ceremony, Eldarion placed her back on the cobblestones and instead held out an arm to her. She took it and together they began the descent down the circles of Minas Tirith.

When they reached the Workers’ Circle, all the way by the gates leading into Pelennor Fields, a certain anticipatory skip entered Eldarion’s step.

“May I cover your eyes?” he asked her. “I want this to be a surprise.”

Nothing raised suspicion more than that, but Faewryn gave a tentative nod. As the darkness of his hands descended over her eyes she asked, “What could you possibly be showing me?”

“If I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?” Eldarion chided gently and guided her forward. She did not know how long they walked for, it couldn’t have been much further than the gates as she could still hear the last of the evening bustle.

Then they stopped, Eldarion’s hands a slight pressure across her face until he lifted them.

Faewryn was staring at the base of a statue, a bronze plaque. Her eyes read the words thrive over, not registering them:

Royal Guard Captain Wulfwryn and song-spinner Raenor

Heroes in the War for the Ring

Remembered with reverence and honor

She followed the statue up and stared into the eyes of stone replicas of her parents. Raenor, reaching out to the people with a healer’s hand and a lute carved on his back. And Wulfwryn, standing beside him with all the graceful poise and sturdiness of a well respected leader.

Faewryn’s legs went out from beneath her and she sank to the ground, a hand crawling up to cover her mouth. She felt more than saw Eldarion kneel down beside her, his hands steady on her shoulders. Hot tears were falling out of her eyes faster than she could wipe them away, and so she did not bother to try.

“What is this?” she asked in a trembling voice.

“An idea I’ve had in the works for months.” Eldarion said, “Well, we’d been discussing it since your mother...well, the idea solidified when Raenor...we wanted to honor them.”

“You did this?” Her voice trembled until the words themselves seemed to shake beyond recognition.

As she dissolved into quiet sobs, one of Eldarion’s arms slid around the waist, the other around her shoulders and he buried his face in the back of her neck, cradling her in comfort, “I did. I commissioned it a few months back. I didn’t want to tell you until I knew it would be perfect.”

The only thing that Faewryn could get out was a ‘thank you’ lost somewhere in the sniffles and wracking breaths she heaved.

Eldarion just held her closer and told her not to thank him at all.