#another bunch of idiot military boys to get attached to

[quality-on-a-patch-of-awesome]

Okay, so, as for my new Call of Duty interest and the 3 new pairings I accidentally acquired

I saw Soap and Ghost together and immediately went "Well, they're definitely ex-boyfriends", but now I have pivoted slightly. They are ex almost boyfriends. They're both in love. They know they're in love. They know the other is in love. It is this fully acknowledged thing between them. They almost get to getting together and then don't because whatever reason (military, fear, whatever, not figured it out yet). They probably figure it's going to go away. It doesn't.

Which is a different stupid to how Price and Gaz are stupid. Which is that they're both in love and know they're in love, but they're fully convinced that the other one isn't and never will be

Which is a different way to how Alejandro and Rodolfo are stupid. Which is not at all because they're clearly already married

[nrdmssgs]

Serpent tongue

Masterlist Genre: Angst with a happy ending. Characters: Sebastian Krueger, Phayvanh "Nak" Sotsvahn belongs to @vasyandii, Olga 'Zhar" Samoilova TWs: strong language, description of military operation, canon typical violence AN: this is set somwhere arond the begining of Nak and Kruegers interactions, so they are a bit silly around each other. But I promise, they will be in love soon-ish.

“phai bo non maew, si kad kaem.*”  Words roll down Phayvanh`s tongue and echoe in the empty, dark hall.

Even if there are any other soldiers around at this late hour - they'll know better than to bother her. Because she's deep inside her thoughts - she's humming and mumbling the words, obscure to their ears. Her very own cantrips to keep others away, her mnemonic spells to help her with the routine. So what if it's just a lullaby? As long as it helps her shut her brain off and run the preparations mechanically…

“phai bo aem, kai noi tod taa.*” On this verse she always checks the flashlights before attaching them to her vest.

Click. The strobe flashlight works perfectly.

“phai bo aem…”

Click. The spare flashlight Illuminates Krueger's face in the semi-darkness.

Phayvanh doesn't flinch nor shriek from the suddenness of him appearing just a few meters behind. She turns off the light and watches Sebastian face.

Pathetic fucker had his own share of humiliation today, much to Nak's enjoyment. Oh, how cocky he was all the way to Zhar's office. Only to get dismissed at the very beginning of a debrief. “I'm not coming, but the baby is?” - Krueger's outburst was so loud, it seemed like the whole base would hear that: “What is that she can, and I don't?!”. Zhar didn't even raise her gaze from the documents, she was checking before the meeting start. But when she answered, Nak had to bite her cheeks to not grin victoriously. “The list would be long, Sebastian, but it would start with the fact, that Nak can obviously read the list of soldiers, I called for this debriefing. The list that contained her, and didn't contain you. Now stand up.” That was the first time she looked up since they gathered around her desk. “And leave my office. I have soldiers to prepare for the mission.”

And just like that the notorious ‘golden boy’, ‘Zhars favorite’, ‘the faceless Chimera’ was shown his place. So it was only natural for him to come mock Phayvanh later, when the audience is not that big.

“Serpent tongue!” His idiotic smile doesn't bode well.

“Going straight for racism this time, moron?” Nak feels almost disappointed about how plain Krueger's attack is. Even calling her little baby hit harder than this bullshit.

“No, I… Wait-wait!” He jumps closer to the table, where she prepares her tactical vest to not get lost from her gaze. “I meant it in a good way! Like these Lao letters, they look like little snakes! I looked it up and there is that one like a confused snake, another one like a happy snake, a bunch of letters with a snake that looks at its own tail. They are lovely.”

Since when this idiot has an interest for Lao alphabet? 

“What you're gonna say, I'm seeing shit? C`mon, admit it, your letters are beautiful, but it's easy to memorize them when you think of them as little snakes. Serpent tongue.” He looks so proud, as if he just solved one of Landaus problems, not invented some nonsense. 

“Gonna say, that a confused snake, watching his own tail, has more brainpower than you.” Phayvanh goes back to preparation routine, trying to ignore Krueger, who seems to not be in a hurry to leave her alone.

They spend a few long minutes in silence, which is a good thing for Nak. She's not ready for questions like ‘why don't you sleep before the important mission?’, ‘is it really just a preparation, or are nervously fidgeting your own equipment?’, ‘are you afraid to turn out worse than me?’. Krueger takes a step to the desk and start helping her arrange all the essentials. She tolerates it, but everything has its limits. Phayvanhs patience cracks when Sebastian reaches out to one of her push daggers. Her hand is quicker, her smooth movements are more precise, and the blade freezes only in mere centimeters away from a vein pulsing on Kruegers neck. A bold hint, but quite a clear one.

“I just wanted to help.” He raises hands in a surrendering gesture. “Olga likely threw a ton of timings, plans, routes and whatsoever at you. The first time with her is overwhelming, I know. There must be a few ‘tiers’ of action plans for each of you, right?”

Nak doesn't lower her dagger, but nods. There were, indeed, different plans for each step of her part in the mission. She didn't quite catch, why would she need a plan B, С and so on. She either does her job or dies trying - that was always how it went. 

“Listen, if anything goes south - just don't hesitate and go straight to the plan B, ok? Forget commander's bullshit about top-tier goals and minimum goals. She always gets what she needs in the end and that is her ‘least satisfied’ plan. Always. So you worry about yourself, ok? Not the goal or plan A.”

Phayvanh doesn't believe her ears. So the golden boy doesn't always hit the top goal? That spoiled brat that dares calling her a baby, turns into a loser, once he's given freedom to operate on any level besides perfect? Oh, he didn't actually hear the real Serpents tongue. The one that pushes her to the limits, demands no less than perfection, accepts no excuses. Krueger wouldn't last a week with that voice ringing in his ears.

“There are either perfect results or no results.” Nak is kind enough to tell this in English, so Krueger understands one of the basis principles, that the Serpent once taught her. 

***

The mission under Zhars command feels different from what is going on, when Nikolai is around. With him It's always about what you do in the end. But with his second in command, it's about how you do it. 

Naks route is planned to the last meter, her timing has limits of steel - not only can't she fall behind - she will ruin everything, should she appear at her next point too soon. She gets a good reminder, when the street, she is supposed to enter 10 minutes later is being turned into a bloodbath with a drone squadron just before her eyes. Phayvanh hides around the corner of a building and swears while checking her watch.

“Perfect result or no result.” A too familiar voice sounds in her head. But she ignores it.

It works for some time. Nak follows the path of fire, the path paved by other Chimeras and brings death to her objectives. Plan A works so well - they are never prepared to meet her.

It almost feels too easy, until it doesn't. One of them turns out too massive, too full of life, too stubborn. One second Phayvanh has him in her hands, the other she's drowning in a muddy puddle with his hands pushing her deeper. She knows, this is not the end of her: Nak had a fair share of similar situations, both on the field and at the training. It takes just a little patience and dexterity to turn the fight upside down. After all, it's him trying to balance in a sloppy mud. She tries to wiggle her way out of his clasp… and fails. Her body freezes struck by a terrifying flashback. 

“Perfect result or no result!”  Nagas voice. She was here already. Face pushed deep in filthy water, subtle teenage body struggling to break free from old man's grip. 

He was shouting at her. Every time she dared to deliver anything but the perfect result - there was a punishment to come. And there were screams. Not her - Naga made sure, she couldn't even breathe. He was the one screaming. 

“Perfect result or no result!”

She hates this voice for keeping her awake before the mission, for destroying her every time anyone refers to her as a child, for drowning her mind in terror. The reals Serpents tongue is made of pain, humiliation and endless requirements, that she doesn't fulfill. Not of ‘funny snaky letters’, Sebastian was babbling about.

Nak gathers all her strength, every part of her body feels like a coiled spring waiting to set loose. And she snaps. The poor fucker believed, he had her. Well his mistake. Because now Phayvanh is on top, and she doesn't even need a knife to end his pathetic life. 

Strangling him with her bare hands, she shouts “shut up” on and on. As if the voice taunting her doesn't echo just in her mind. It feels like forever before he stops struggling. But when she lets go of him - a barely audible breath leaves his chest. 

It drives her mad. After all she's done - he has an audacity to live on? So she hits face. Hard. And then again. And again.

She snaps out of it only, when a familiar voice appears behind her. “Nak? You're hurt?” Phayvanh turns back and meets Zhars gaze.

“Komandir? Ya seichas… Ya. Ya s nim razberus`!*” For some reason Nak answered in Russian despite Olga rarely using it.

“He's long gone, soldier.” Zhar glances at the guy lying on the ground under Nak and Phayvanh follows her gaze.

Her enemy has no recognizable face anymore, the puddle of mud, he's buried in turns red. His body gave up a long time ago, but Nak was too blinded by painful memories to recognize it.

An unsettling thought appears in Naks head. How long has she spent here over the dead body? She checks her watches and frowns. Too long. She's supposed to be elsewhere a long time ago.

“Go, Nak. Skip your next point, you're on route B now.” Zhar doesn't raise her voice - she never does. But this time Phayvanh wishes she would. 

“Perfect result or no result.”

That only means one thing - she failed. And she deserves to be screamed at. She desperately tries to fight the numbness off, but can't even make herself get up.

Better shout at her. She's used to it.

Olga touches her shoulder and Nak flinches. She remembers only Zhars eyes moving closer and a few words in a low voice.

“Get up and go. Now.”

She stands up and doesn't go away - she flies as far as she can. Phayvanh runs as fast as she can, as if that can help her escape the guilt building up. Her body accomplishes the plan B automatically. Point after point, objective after objective. 

She is restless on their way back, she barely reacts to her squadmates questions and commentaries. Even at the Chimera base, Nak can't seem to slow down and keeps herself occupied until late night.

***

“phai bo non maew, si kad kaem.*”  Words roll down Phayvanh`s tongue and echo in the empty, dark hall. A wet mop draws intricate wet patterns on the floor.

It was nobody's order - Phayvanh just couldn't calm down. So she rearranged all her stuff. Twice. And then she tidied up their armory room. And another one. And then she mopped.

It's a good thing, Nikolai's base is so huge - lots to do in the middle of the night, while others sleep. 

“phai bo aem, kai noi tod taa.*” On this verse she usually enters ladies locker room, when she mops.

Click. The light turns on, illuminating the seemingly clean floor. Well, an extra cleaning never hurt nobody…

“Potushi svet, ya tebya umolyaiu.*” Olgas voice. Only it sounds husky and tired, as if she was crying or coughing for a long time.

Nak turns and sees her, sitting on the floor. The ever so serious, busy, on-her-way-somewhere-else commander curled up against a wall like a lost child. Zhars face is red, closed eyes swollen, cheeks wet. 

Phayvanh rushes on her knees, pushing the mop away and proceeds straight to inspecting Olgas body, searching for a wound. But her commander only smiles.

“Phay, it's only the tear gas.”

“But… It's been-”

“You live to my age - you'll wonder, how could your body come back to normal so fast back when you were 20. Now please turn out that light.”

Nak does as she told and comes back to sit before Olga. She doesn't care if by doing so she'll provoke her executive to get angry at her.

“I'm not leaving you here, commander. Let's get you to the medbay.” She takes Zhars hand and tries to pull her, but Olga doesn't move.

“I am fine. Just need to sit here for a bit, let my eyes rest.” Zhar stretches her back and reaches out into the void before her, blindlessly searching for Nak. “Stay with me for a bit, ok?”

“I don't understand.” Phayvanh moves closer and catches Olgas hand, letting her know, shes not leaving. “What are you doing here? You have your office.”

“And you have your room, soldier.” Smile never leaves Zhars face. “Yet here we are.”

They sit next to each other in silence for some time. Naks eyes get used to a dim emergency exit light that barely illuminates a small part of the locker room. And then Olga speaks again, as if there was no pause.

“I come here for them.” She points at an old dusty mirror, taken from the wall long before Nak joined the Chimera. One can barely recognize their reflection in the mirror - it is too dirty. “If you find just the right angle and look long enough - you will see your legs, your chest and arms, but not your face. When you sit right - yours hidden in the shadow. I like to imagine - I'm seeing everything, that's wrong with me in these moments. Everybody, who wronged me. And then we talk.”

Nak tries to catch a glimpse of any reflection in the mirror, but barely sees anything. So she leans closer and cranes his neck.

“See a familiar face?” Zhars hand rests on Phayvanhs back. Usually Nak would avoid any informal physical contact, but this time it feels right, to let Olga know, she isn't alone. 

“...nope, I see nobody, ma`am.”

“Nobody punished you for aiming anywhere but the ideal?” Now that's a sucker punch. A deserved one, as Naks confusion was painfully obvious to her commander today. But it still hits hard. So she nods.

“I'll do better next-”

“No. After what they have done to you - this is what you're telling them?”

“Commander, I'm telling that you.”

“Fuck me, Phay. I'm a hired soldier, just like you. One word from Nikolai and I won’t be here tomorrow. Krueger will throw a tantrum, but…” Zhar chuckles. “Talk to them. This isn't about me.”

Naks looks in the darkening void of the mirror and sighs. She doesnt even know, where to start, to not sound immature and lose her job right away.

“Let me put the other way: think of what the would tell you right now.”

That Nak knows for sure. Even if Naga is nowhere around - she always knows what exactly would he say.

“Hed ask me if im going to cry.”

“We can cry, Phay. Ive been doing it for past few hours. Well, because of dry eyes, but that still counts.”

“Oh, I won't cry. Not for him. Never.” Nak can't take her eyes of the mirror. The view is somehow mesmerizing: she sees her body, but her face remains in the shadow.

For a split second she thinks, if she should speak in Lao. Nobody in Chimera talks it. She is safe to say whatever, she wants. But then she thinks, that this is exactly what Naga would want: her keeping her pain all to herself. So that his serpent tongue can torture her soul unbothered.

She takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

“Well maybe I should be thanking you. You prepared me for all this shit at a young age. Comrades selling me lies, people betraying me, friends seeing me as just a kid. The next time id pour some love out - ill never get back a single drop of it. You prepared me for that. And for always being not enough. You did it out of the best intentions, I know. You prepared me for the worst in my life. By being it.”

The silence, that falls on her after that, is deafening. But for some reason, Nak feels better for the first time since she came back to senses on the battlefield. 

Then she feels hands, someones hands hugging her shoulders. There are no words left for this room or this mirror today. But this wordlessness is a happy thing.

*phai bo non maew, si kad kaem. - (Lao phonetic) If you don't sleep, ghost cats will bite your cheeks. 

*phai bo aem, kai noi tod taa  - (Lao phonetic) If you don't shut your eyes, tiny chicks will peck them. 

*Komandir? Ya seichas… Ya. Ya s nim razberus`! - (Russian phonetic) Commander? I'm going to… I. I'm going to deal with him!

*Potushi svet, ya tebya umolyaiu. - (Russian phonetic) turn off the light, I beg you.

[oceanera12]

Star Wars x Percy Jackson

Okay so this was a LOT harder then I thought it was going to be on the account that literally everyone in the GFFA is related to one another. So for the sake of my sanity (and yours) let’s just assume that no one is related so I can figure out what kriffing Olympian attributed to them (also we are keeping them all Greek to save me that headache)

Also to keep my sanity I split everyone up by Trilogy/TV Show so just assume each each are a new generation (with some overlapping)--

Also I’m not doing everyone because there is way too many kriffing characters so get ready for highlights and personal favorites. If you have anyone to add, comment or feel free to add! (Last “also”, promise! I stuck mostly with the big twelve to, you guessed it, preserve my sanity!)

Prequels:

Yoda is from Dionysus cabin--FIGHT ME ON THIS. I could not figure out why he talks like he does and came to the conclusion is he is definitely “drunk” on Kool-Aid. Also I like the idea of him growing vines and plants because of Dagoba. He is a camp councilor that’s been around for longer than anyone can remember by Chiron likes him well enough.

Mace is a child of Hades. ... I honestly don’t know why, but as soon as that image popped into my head I accepted it. Maybe it’s because of his stoic personality or maybe the fact he fights in a very angry style, to which I say, “skeletons ripping up from the earth”.

Qui-Gon-- for some bizarre reason the idea of Hypnos popped into my head and I now I cannot get it to leave me alone. So Qui is from Hypnos cabin. He gets a lot of sleep and even more visions of the future (such as a very powerful half-blood coming to camp and he’s now determined to find that kid)

Obi-Wan was tricky. I debated between a lot of cabins and none of them seemed to work for him. I finally settled on Hephaestus, which seems weird but let me explain. Obi-Wan feels like someone who would totally be into arts and crafts, if he could have. Hephaestus cabin usually has a good head and are quite smart

Anakin is from Zeus Cabin. Did you expect anything less? This kid is Mr. Lightning summoning, sword wielding, insane power with way too many emotions. (It was either that or Hephaestus but... “Chosen One” and all that)

Padme is 100% from Athena cabin. That’s it. Fight me.

Palpatine is a weird one because I’d usually just make him a monster or something like a Titan but... eh. I’m going Hermes because this boy knows how to lie and trick people (a lot like Luke, now that I think about it...). A friend of mine also suggested the child of Nemesis, the goddess of Revenge which could also work so pick your pick.

R2-D2 and C-3PO are satyrs. Very annoying, very loud, satyrs. 3PO goes on and on about the importance of nature and R2 follows behind him creating his own form of chaos. Most people avoid them.

Clone Wars:

Ahsoka is also from Athena cabin. I just like to picture her fighting with two knives and flipping around like a gymnast. But she’s more chill then Ares cabin--although she does love hanging out with those boys. She’s unofficially adopted by Ares cabin as a sister in arms so that’s cool.

Ares Cabin just consists of all the clones, okay? It was either that or Hermes but I just couldn’t imagine my boys without their military structure. Cody’s head of the cabin and has to try and keep all of his siblings in line-- very poorly, but he’s doing his best.

Satine is in Demeter Cabin. I wasn’t sure where else to put a pacifist but I thought it suited her well enough. Ex-girlfriend of Obi-Wan but they are on friendly terms (and there is a running bet on when they will get back together)

Rebels:

Kanan was really hard to figure out. I decided to make him Poseidon’s kid because he’s usually really chill in the show. For the most part, he’s really laid back and doesn’t use any water abilities unless he has too. Prefers to fight with a sword, but can use a crossbow surprising well. Has a street kid background so he gets along with the Hermes cabin really well and has kind of “adopted” one of the kids there (three guesses as to who)

Hera has to fly, okay? She has to be able to fly either a Pegasus or actually fly which leaves either Zeus, Apollo, or Poseidon as the main picks, which I don’t think any of those scream Hera. In fact, flip them, she’s a mortal that see’s through the Mist. She somehow got dragged into this world of monsters and demi-gods and is now chilling at the camp just for the heck of it. It may or may not have had something to do with her now-Boyfriend Kanan who may or may not have been on a quest at the time when he accidently destroyed her apartment because of a stupid hellhound.

Ezra is in Hermes cabin. This tiny little thief is wonderful and is a cute little blueberry. Kanan kind of unofficially adopted the kid so Ezra is usually drenched from swimming in the lake.

Zeb is from Athena cabin. Very skilled with a staff and very into battle meditation. Not super into the “intelligent” side of Athena, but he is in no way an idiot. Get’s into a lot of trouble with Ezra because why not?

Sabine I could totally see being the child of Apollo, but she joined Artemis Huntresses (maybe out of spite to her Dad but also because a bunch of warrior women? Heck, yeah!). Very artsy, excellent shot with a bow, and is much, much cooler then her dad.

Chopper is a very lazy, very stubborn Hellhound, fight me on this (and may have been the Hellhound Kana was fighting when he met Hera, but he’s now attached to this strange mortal woman who literally told off these two for destroying her house).

Original:

Luke was almost a child of the big three (specifically Hades for some bizarre reason--don’t ask me why, I don’t know how my brain got on that) but then I remembered that Hecate was a thing soooooo... Luke Skywalker, the son of Hecate, goddess of magic. He manipulates the mist and stuff like that. Also likes to fly Pegasi.   

Leia... okay, this is going to sound really weird but I kind of see Leia as a child of Aphrodite. Not obsessed with how she looks and all that stuff, but more like Piper. Very strong willed, determined, and keeps your attention. She fights for what she believes in (loves) and can kick butt. It was either that or Athena but... eh, let’s turn that on it’s side, shall we?

Han is Hermes. What did you expect?

Chewbacca is a satyr. I don’t know if you expected any differently, but I’m picturing Coach Hedge just not... insane. Very much likes to fight monsters and is very protective of Han.

Lando is... tricky. I’m going to go with Dionysus simply because of the party factor, but don’t cross him. He can mess you up.

Sequels:

Rey is unclaimed. She chills in Hermes cabin and has no idea who her Godly parent is... which she mopes about a lot. ((I literally could not figure out who’s daughter she would be because that’s kind of the whole Trilogy. And then it hit me like an out of control Pegasus.))

Poe is from Apollo cabin and can usually be found on a Pegasus. His favorite is nicknamed BB and is white with “orange” spots. Very good at flying and shooting a bow at the same time. Yes, he’s a show off and yes, he’s very good in a fight.

Finn is in Ares cabin. But he’s more like Frank in the sense of he’s definitely nicer then most of his cabinmates. Excellent fighter but does not have that stupid Ares temper... most days (don’t cross Finn or he will mess you up)

Rose gets to be a child of Hephaestus. She’s smart and is an engineer, simple as that.

Kylo/Ben is in Aphrodite cabin simply because I want him there. He’s prissy, full of himself, and a jerk and if that isn’t Aphrodite, I don’t know what is (I’m sorry, I just hated Aphrodite in the books and Kylo was kind of a “meh” character soooooooooo...)

[365days365movies]

January 4, 2021: First Blood (1982) (Part II)

Quick Recap before we go on. Oh, and SPOILERS right up top!

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) is a Vietnam vet wandering through Washington State, until coming upon the town of Hope, run by the Sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy).

Sheriff Will Teasle is an absolute dick who arrests Rambo for no real reason; just for being a “drifter.” His police force, which includes the sadistic Galt (Jack Starrett) and sympathetic Mitch (David Caruso, AKA Horatio Caine from CSI: Miami), beats John Rambo, and post-2020 me is UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!!

Rambo has Vietnam flashbacks (like you do) and escapes the prison, pursued by the obsessive and dickish Sheriff and his equally dickish men (except for Horatio, maybe).

Galt tries to shoot Rambo, and karma bitch-slaps him RIGHT in the face, holy shit. He dies, and Rambo is blamed and shot at, escaping into the forest.

OK?

OK. On with the recap!

At this point, all of Rambo’s actions are in self-defense. In truth, it’s been self-defense since the beginning. However, he does kill two dogs, so...yeah, can’t really justify that. That sucks. The dog’s handler gets shot by Rambo, who now has a gun, and we also see that Galt’s certified sociopathy has leaked into everybody else but Horatio upon his death, including the dog guy, who tells his dogs to straight up kill Rambo. But, as previously stated...that’s not what happens.

At this point, I should introduce the amemedala.

The amemedala is a portion of the mesencephalon (or midbrain) discovered in the brains of millennials and younger individuals, recently discovered, named, and made up by yours truly. This area, attached to the thalamus, acts as a relay center between the cerebrum and the various sensory receptors of the body, similar to the function of the thalamus. However, while the thalamus governs the broad relay of senses to the appropriate areas of the brain for analysis, the amemedala relays appropriate sensory signals to the frontal lobes, where catalogs of shared sociological trends, or memes, are housed. This relay and association generates connections between extrenal stimuli, and entries in the meme catalog of the frontal lobes. While this is technically an autonomic process, it can be suppressed with enough willpower.

Why am I ringing this up in the middle of First Blood? Because EVERY. SINGLE. CELL of my brain is working to suppress the amemedala right now. Why? BECAUSE OF THE LORAX, AND FOR WHOM HE SPEAKS.

Is it an outdated meme? Very much so. BUT I CANNOT GET IT OUT OF MY GODDAMN HEAD AS I WATCH THIS MOVIE.

OK. That is now out of my system. Anyway, Rambo continues to speak for the trees, which is understandably starting to spook the smalltown cops. This leads to the VERY surprising moment where a camouflaged Rambo appears OUT OF NOWHERE and stabs Horatio in the goddamn leg! Like, wow, he was invisible! I had to rewind the film to see where he was. This is tense...and awesome, not gonna lie. This is awesome.

And then, he gets another cop by JUMPING FROM A TREE. Well, a tree stump, BUT STILL. After he takes him out, he stands in plain sight in front of an approaching cop. That cop, subscribing once again to the shoot-first-ask-questions-later policy, fires. And I SWEAR, Rambo is FASTER THAN THOSE SPEEDING BULLETS, as he dodges out of the way, and the bullets HIT THE COP HE JUST TOOK OUT!

And then, when I didn’t think this could get any more intense, that cop triggers a booby trap, and A STICK WITH WOODEN SPIKES GOES THROUGH THIS MAN’S LEGS, AND HE’S SPEARED LIKE A KEBAB OH MY GOD

The asshole sheriff runs to the NEW set of panicked screams, and his compatriot is just Batman-ed away by Rambo. It’s just the sheriff, now. The storm is building, and the forest is getting darker. The sheriff frees leg-spike cop, and goes to find the other cop, who’s been PINNED TO A TREE LIKE A BUTTERFLY IN A DISPLAY CASE. See, look!

HOLY SHIT IT’S RAMBO WITH A KNIFE IN THE FOREST. He pins the sheriff up to a tree, then with some legitimately badass lines, threatens with the sheriff with “a war [he] wouldn’t believe,” and telling him to make like Elsa and…

I love this sequence. It is the most intense, crazy, holy shit sequence I’ve seen so far this month. Wow. I understand why people talk about this movie. Man, that was a hell of a ride! Good movie, though. All right, so, time for the final sco-

Oh. Oh, my God. I’m only HALFWAY INTO THE MOVIE?

...Wow. OK, then.

We now meet Colonel Sam Trautman, Rambo’s commander in the Green Berets. He’s come to “get his boy.” He says that he came to rescue the Sheriff’s dumb ass from Rambo, rather than the other way around. And the Sheriff is...an idiot. He’s an ass, he’s a maniac, and he’s a stubborn idiot. Even after learning that Rambo is the best, he’s unwilling to back down, the dummkopf.

Rambo kills a wild boar in the woods, which makes no sense for Washington State, but whatever, sure. Anyway, they try to get the colonel to lure Rambo out, even though that’s obviously gonna make his PTSD, just...SO much worse. Especially as he starts using Vietnam parlance in contacting him. Not gonna end well, guys. But it’s then that we learn that Rambo is now the last surviving member of his unit, contributing to his trauma. Rambo’s also been trying to get in contact with the Colonel, winding up here because he has no place to go. He says that there are no friendly civilians, and the trouble’s been caused by that “king-shit” cop. I will be using this term from now on.

Wow. Damn. Hell of a reason for that title. And I think I love this movie. Seriously, I’m having a good time.

King-Shit Cop keeps going ahead with his absolute idiocy, despite all warnings to the contrary. So, a bunch of troops now converge upon Rambo’s place, but he naturally opens fire on them, without killing a single person. In fact, he hasn’t killed anyone this whole movie, and they make a point of saying that he’s been holding back the whole time. So, they decide to use the next, most logical course of action. They FIRE A ROCKET AT HIM.

Afterwards, the Colonel and King Shit Cop catch up at a bar, where the latter exposes his full sociopathy, commenting that he just wanted to kill Rambo. This is opposed to the Colonel, who doesn’t really know what he’d do if Rambo survived.

Which, of course, he did. C’mon, you think a little military-grade propelled explosive is gonna kill John Rambo? Nah. He’s the best there ever was, and he’s gonna prove it now. He jumps into a military vehicle holding an M-60, and hijacks it. Doesn’t take long for the news to break that Rambo’s still kicking, and he’s quickly intercepted by King Shit Cop, who JUST. DOESN’T. KNOW. WHEN. TO QUIT. And I’d admire his tenacity if he wasn’t SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

The cops try to run Rambo and the truck of the road, and he plays the UNO Reverse Card on them instead. And I’m pretty sure at this point…

...that old Johnny boy’s just killed some cops. So, yeah, now there’s a bigger problem. He powers through the State Police blockade like it was a banner blocking a football team, stops at a gas station, grabs the gun from the car, and LIGHTS ALL OF THAT SHIT ON FIRE! Destroying the livelihood of an individual who had nothing to do with this.

Yeah, Rambo’s starting to turn from innocent acting in self-defense to public menace REAL quick. And yeah, it’s King Shit Cop’s fault entirely...but, yeah, Johnny needs some help, because he’s losing the train at this point. But, not to be outdone, King Shit Cop is also beginning to lose it, and it’s definitely beginning to seem like only one of them is going to come out of this alive. And the Colonel tries to give him an out, but King Shit Cop’s prepared to go down with the ship that he blew a hole in in the first place. Like an asshole.

But here we go, the finale. John Rambo vs. King Shit Cop (whose name, by the way, is Will Teasle. I just like Rambo’s name for him better). KSC’s on the roof, Rambo’s on the street. Rambo causes more property damage, possibly because banks also give him PTSD (I joke, but PTSD is no laughing matter, John clearly needs help), and then finds his way to a store that has just all of the ammo a psychologically-damaged Vietnam War veteran on a revenge quest could ever need.

And then he BLOWS. THAT. SHIT. UP.

And he does this...ALL of this...just to lure KSC out of hiding. This man DESTROYS A TOWN because this idiot, sociopathic, unhinged, King Shit Cop, won’t just STAND. THE FUCK. DOWN ALREADY.

Rambo enters the police station, where KSC is on the roof. And, like the Colonel and the rest of us guessed, KSC gets shot in the process. And as Rambo stands over KSC, the Colonel finally shows up and does what literally everybody else should have done.

Talk. He just...talks to Rambo. He talks to this mentally ill man, and that mentally ill man responds, espousing his pure anger at the war, the public, protesters, work, the country, the town, himself...everyone. And goddamn, is that shit palpable.

This man can no longer fit in the world that he was forced to leave, and forced to return to. This poor, poor, poor man. It hurts. And it sucks. And he pours his heart out to the Colonel, and to us, and...you feel it. You feel his trauma, you feel his pain. You feel the aftermath of war. And it’s been seven years at this point for the Colonel, but no time for John. Not Rambo. John. And it’s just...never over.

Damn. Goddamn.

This...this is one hell of a good movie. And not just a good action movie, either. A damn good movie.

And that’s it. That’s First Blood.

[birdysnow]

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast. 

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer. 

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th 

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía. 

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby 

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs 

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual. 

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do. 

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn 

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8 

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set 

its like harvard except you could die there 

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other 

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away 

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers 

cue pining 

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it. 

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship  

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™ 

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased 

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative 

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background 

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions 

[broke-bitch-mountain]

Red Scales, Blue Eyes

Guess who’s back.

Back again

Nomi’s back

Tell a friend

@littleduckbigquack Three weeks overdue but here’s the update!!! Its a little longer as an apology but I was trying to get more of Keith’s world pinned down but tbh Lance is alot easier so I’m working on Keith’s parts (they are coming I promise!) But this is more Lance centric. ALSO! Before the discourse over the name starts! I decided to go with McClain for Lance because it is a common and easily recognized name in the fandom and once his real name is canonized I will happily change it. Anyway, here you guys go! See mistakes? Please let me know!

           Ten minuets later, Keith popped up behind Lance, effectively scaring the other teen into a splashing fit. Several gestures of apology later, Keith finally held up the bag he had filled with his small treasures from his home for Lance to glance through. Carefully, Lance pulled out each of the small objects for inspection, giving Keith a weird looked when he grabbed the sparkly doll. He held up the shell against the setting sun with a focused gaze set firm on his face. The blue shell was opaque against the orange glow and held gentle wave of blue at the bottom from the ocean’s reflection on the bottom. It almost looked like a small aura of light surrounded it, however Keith assumed it was because it was finally seeing daylight again after living in his small house for so long.

           The shell, Keith remembered, has been one of his oldest treasures. It had been with him for as long as he could remember. He remembers a dream of a woman in purple and red with that shell around her neck. There are others in the room who are sad but Keith doesn’t know why. The dream isn’t really that sad, it’s just the woman who smiles at him like he’s everything she’s ever wanted and then she sleeps.

           That’s all Keith knows her to be doing.

           He likes to imagine that it’s his mother. His grandfather, Alfor hadn’t been too forthcoming on the details of his first child’s death, or the sudden disappearance shortly after of his second. He believed that those topics where too depressing and held no place in the palace walls. So Keith was never allowed to ask questions about them, and his father was out of the question. It never really bothered Keith until now, seeing what he has always on some level believed was his mother’s legacy being held up by a human that might take it away from him.

           Keith pushed the shell into the human’s chest. Nobody would risk their lives for a necklace that didn’t hold an equal value. This was a fair trade.

             Lance looked the mermaid directly in the eye as the shell was shoved towards him. The shape seemed to ring a bell at the back of his head but whatever memory it was triggering was too far away to fully pull up. He glanced down at the shell again and back up to the creature who had saved his life. Who then pressed to Lance’s chest, again.

           “For me?” Lance asked pointing at himself.

           The creature nodded and let go of the shell.

           Lance looked down at the shell again, cradling it in his palm.  Between the ears had been carved out like it was supposed to be on a string. Lance made a mental note to find a new chain or something so he can wear it. It would make a nice replacement for the cross that the ocean had claimed for its own. So Lance smiled towards the mermaid, a full toothy Lance grin and clutched the shell towards his chest. When his eyes opened, the mermaid was a considerable distance away, giving him a small wave before diving back into the deep ocean. Lance looked one last time at the shell, already excited to show Hunk and Pidge…

           Shit.

           Lance swam like a madman towards the shore and scrabbled to his dorm down the street. They were going to kill him.

             Keith now understood why being spotted by a human was illegal. The smile that the human had sent his way before he left was an infectious one that was brighter than the sunset behind him. The light casting small sparkles off his face from the water droplets sliding down his face and framing his perfect teeth. It was a shame his eyes were shut, Keith is sure those would have been sparkling too. He was sure that not all human’s where like him but, there were probably enough though, to ruin their entire society.

           Especially if they all have a smile like that.

           It was that thought that made Keith immediately distance himself. He may not be welcomed in his society but he didn’t want more reason for his death. He may be stressed in trying to live but at least he was getting by. There was a heavy weight in his heart when Keith considered that he was not going to be able to see the boy again. He hadn’t even gotten his real name. Pretty boy seemed fitting enough though, so that is what Keith decided to call him.

           He needed to get back home. He needed to go to bed and get ready for another day. He needed to talk to Shiro about getting a needle and he needed to tend to his garden. He found himself back at the cave’s mouth and searching the sand. The chain was broken, pieces of it scattered and casting off a faint light across the entrance. Caught on one of the rocks in the middle of the side wall was the necklace Pretty boy came back for. A treasure with a memory attached, this one was special.

           Quietly, Keith swam back to his home. Almost reluctant to leave the warmth of the surface, almost. By the time that he was moving the rock into his home the stars where out bringing a chill into the ocean depths. Keith, against all better judgment, left the entrance opened to watch the stars and wonder if Pretty boy was looking at them too.

             “How many times do I have to apologize?” Lance pleaded with Pidge when she was packing up at midnight. His sudden arrival back at his shared dorm was met with Hunk making ‘study snacks’ to stave off the full blown panic attack at the idea that Lance was dead while Pidge paced the length of the room so often that Lance swore there was a rut in the carpet. There was a definite mix in review when he entered the small kitchen area that prefaced the two by one apartment like space that Hunk and him split between each other while the kitchen was shared by everyone on their floor. Pidge ended up pummeling him in punches and terms of endearment such as “you idiot” and “freaky fish-land boy” while Hunk just hug him from behind.

           “Jeeze guys, I told you I wasn’t going to drown out there.” Lance had defended, which brought on a few harder hits from Pidge and a suffocating bear hug from Hunk.

           “You were gone for nearly an hour, Lance.” Hunk informed him. ��And I love your mom but I don’t think that she’d forgive me for letting you drown, that woman is not a woman I want to piss off.”

           “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’d bring me back just to kill me again.” Lance laughed. Then, with most of her energy spent on Lance’s now black and blue ribs, Pidge sat them down and started with their massive cram for their finals.

           The three were part of a special program called the Galaxy Garrison. The Garrison in general was a school that provided technical training to those who wished to serve in the military but, due to individual preference or disability, did not want to be on the battle field. The Galaxy Garrison specifically trained those who wanted to explore the vastness of space to some degree.

Hunk was an engineer and was learning how to design, build and repair ships, bases, pods and all other fun toys that transport people or goods in the vacuumed ecosystem. He believed it was his little piece of the big picture since he didn’t have the stomach for piloting an actual space craft and, while he was smart enough to go into the more sciencey parts of the program, he felt accomplished at the end of the day with a physical machine that could save lives or even progress the human race.

Pidge was following her brother’s footstep under the tutelage of her father, Professor Holt, and was perusing whatever classes she needed to be approved to go into space and perform experiments on whatever she could find. She had often dreamed of being a pilot and took a few of those classes too, “What happens if my pilot gets knocked unconscious Lance? I don’t want to die because they couldn’t pilot.” And while she had a decent grip on the designs and such it was more so that she could figure out how to fix it in an emergency situation. Her thirst was in knowledge and that meant the technical sciences was her home.

Lance had been dead set on being a pilot since he was a little kid. He may not have been the smartest kid in the bunch but he knew his way around what he needed to in order to pass and was by no means stupid. His enrollment in the program eliminated that possibility right out. They don’t accept people who excel in just one area of the program (or fail too horribly in one either) and make sure that each of their people have a general grip on every aspect in case of emergency. Lance wanted to be a pilot because his mother was from Cuba and on vacations they would go there and enjoy the beach with her side of the family. His grandfather would tell him stories about all the places he had gone to during the war, specifically about the nights.  He whispered to Lance from a young age about all the places he had been sent with the Allies and all the stars he saw on the way. He always volunteered for the watch shifts in the middle of the night so he could watch the stars and just think. There was too much noise between gunshots and any kind of thought could lead to another dead corpse. At night though, with his senses on overdrive listening for anyone who shouldn’t be there, he would think about whatever his brain brought to his attention.

He contemplated the interworkings of the war in general. The idiocracy of man when they tore each other down and the greed that came with power; but also the desperation that came with wanting to survive. Survival was a thing he thought about a lot, Lance discovered years later when he was able to read some of the scraps of paper the man had scribbled a few thoughts onto when it was available and from what his grandmother had echoed from the early days of their marriage shortly after the war had ended. He had often looked up at the sky and even imagined the true value of his life and what meaning it could possibly have when so much death and destruction surrounded him.

Then dawn would come, and he’d see the beginning of a new day that forced him to cast the idea of quitting into the last remnants of the night. The stars, where always the ones that he whispered his deepest thoughts too, though; even if Cuba was not the best place to see them. “Reach for the stars,” was his favorite saying and Lance simply took it literally. The drowning incident that sparked his love affair with mermaids happened around eight and for a brief time his heart wondered to a career based in the water for a chance to meet whatever (the mermaid) that had saved him. When his grandfather died a little over two years later, though, Lance promised him that he would never stop reaching for the stars. At the funeral Lance decided he would name one after him too.

Tomorrow was just another obstacle in the way of that goal. Pidge and Hunk were good at helping Lance pace himself when he’s studying, though he has gotten better on his own.  After this test came a summer break and then Lance would enter his final year before he could start applying for missions. Very few people actually went up beyond the atmosphere but Lance had been working his ass off to be the very best. However, like most people, he had his own shortcomings that ended him in the top three. He was constantly improving though and this time he would be the highest score in the simulator.

“Try anywhere from a thousand more to never stop.” Pidge yawned. “Good luck on your test tomorrow and may I suggest a shower? You reek of saltwater.”

“You too, Pidge!” Hunk walked her to the door, “Are we still on for survival lunch?”

“Of course, it’s going to be the only thing keeping me out of prison. After all this work I’ll be willing to kill for one of your mint cakes.” She smiled, then headed for her dorm down the hall.

Hunk stretched and looked at Lance who was still packing his supplies into his bag. “So what took you so long? Did you see a cute girl or something?”

“I am offended,” Lance gawked, “the nerve, that I, Lance McClain, would leave my two best friends believing that I was dead, for a pretty face?”

“So what’s her name?” Hunk pressed with a grin.

And from here Lance is more than happy to fling his bag over his shoulder and head to his room to enjoy the shower Pidge had suggested as well as his normal wind down routine. Granted, it would be at a much faster pace than he would like, he had his first final at ten and he likes to take his time to wake up so he’d need to be up by eight thirty at the absolute latest. Losing the necklace today was enough he didn’t need his self care regime interrupted to throw him even further off.

The thought of his necklace brought his attention to his hand, which was wrapped gently around the shell the mermaid had given him.

Hunk was half right, which prompted Lance’s feet to move even faster. The mermaid was a pretty picture, though Lance is half convinced that might be because of the mermaid part. It was easy to brush Hunk’s request aside, he didn’t get a name but he had been mulling over what to call him. Calling him ‘The Mermaid’ seemed too impersonal for having been the moment to confirm all his life long fantasies. But he couldn’t think of a name that was meaningful enough to take its place. So instead, he settled for picking a nickname. Though all Lance had to go off was his physique and fishfingers or scales seemed more like pet names than anything else.

Lance mulled it over while he went through his routine, trying a varity of different nicknames, a few highlights included: Mullet, fishy fishy (but only if it was said the same voice as the McDonald’s commercial) and Red.

Red….

As Lance drifted to sleep, Red seemed like the best out of the bunch. Short, sweet, simple and it was the color of his tail so maybe that was a clue to some level of personality.

Red…

Yeah…that felt fitting.