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#anti-valentine's books
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5 Anti-Valentine’s Reads
While I hope you all have a lovely Valentine’s Day full of cosy, warm vibes, I know that it isn’t always a happy day for everyone. For some of us, it can be a time to plunge into the dark depths of toxic relationships and delight in the twisted side of love. It’s a time for gloomy, strange reads that will give your mind a workout and may even have you screaming in rage as you throw its pretty cover across the room. Here are some rather thrilling reads dressed in cute covers but beware -they aren’t quite as cute on the inside! 
-Love, Alex x
The One by John Marrs.
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With just a simple mouth swab, Match Your DNA can find your soulmate and ten years on, everyone is using it to find love. But it’s not all sunshine and wedding bells, as the app has caused thousands of relationships to end and the dating scene is almost non-existent. As five different people receive their matches, they’re about to find out whether true love is really about to fall into their lap. I was blown away by this twisty thriller, full of shocking reveals and characters that I really cared about. I honestly couldn’t put it down!
The Honeys by Ryan La Sala.
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Mars’ twin sister Caroline died in horrible circumstances after running away from the summer camp that she attended every year and Mars is desperate to know what happened to her. Returning to Aspen Conservancy Summer Academy, where he shook things up a few years before, genderfluid Mars uncovers the outdated, dangerous toxicity lurking beneath the sunny, fun-filled surface. Mars’ focus is on The Honeys, Caroline’s friends who he is certain is behind her death but there is something much older festering in the camp that threatens to destroy everything. This heady YA horror had me very unsettled and convinced I had it all worked out. Hint: I didn’t!
Blood Sugar by Sascha Rothchild.
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Ruby is a killer but ironically, she didn’t do the murder that she is now being accused of. Sadly, neither the police nor the public believe her. Now it’s time for Ruby to reflect on how her life has brought her to this point and how she can possibly prove her innocence this time. I love a protagonist who is undoubtedly severely flawed but is somehow very easy to root for and that’s exactly how I felt about Ruby. This deliciously dark, sugar-free treat will have you turning pages like crazy!
Sweet Pea by C. J. Skuse.
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Rhiannon’s past contains a horrific crime but she has now moved on. While her job isn’t the most satisfying, she does have a lovely boyfriend, a dog and a completely normal life. Oh, and a second life as a serial killer. I adore this series of thrillers, following one of the most relatable murderers of all time. With so much dark humour and a healthy dose of eye-watering kills, the Sweet Pea books are an absolute must for lovers of dark fiction.
So Happy For You by Celia Laskey.
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Robin and Ellie have been best friends forever but Robin is vehemently against anything to do with traditional weddings. So, when Ellie asks Robin to be her maid of honour, Robin reluctantly agrees out of loyalty. However, as the wedding approaches, some strange things start happening and Robin is convinced that the whole bridal party has something against her. This dark comedy casts a scathing eye over the wedding industry and illustrates the messiness of female friendship while being covered in campy larks. You can’t get more anti-Valentine’s than this!
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ares-percival · 4 months
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Superior Spider-man
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Own a piece of this iconic narrative. Embrace the Superior Spider-Man and let the world know that heroes are not just born; they evolve (even from darkness/villains). These products and many more are available on Etsy. www.etsy.com/shop/AresPercival
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shironezuninja · 21 days
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Not looking forward to laundry chores tomorrow. And I had to spend the entire Saturday fighting off my sluggish hangover.
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waugh-bao · 3 months
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*
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cgsjav · 3 months
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Anti-Valentine's Day Journal: Rant, Reflect and Heal: Notebook
Anti-Valentine's Day Journal: Rant, Reflect and Heal: Notebook https://a.co/d/0HMd6On
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rainbow-baby-one · 4 months
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spicy books are my love language xo
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calming-chaos · 1 year
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vulpinesaint · 2 years
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tbh i have not read any of these booktok books and i do not use tiktok. however i enjoy being a hater
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freemints30 · 3 months
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Happy valantines day with... Loui alone and having a bad time with himself. As usual
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aikaterini-drag · 3 months
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Anti-Valentines bookish memes from my Insta
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doumadono · 3 months
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MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST
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♡ Dabi ♡
Dabi, maintaining his usual nonchalant demeanor, brushes off Valentine's Day as insignificant. "It's just another day," he grumbles when you inquire about plans, his gaze fixed on something distant.
Despite his indifference towards the holidays of any kind, Dabi ensures that you feel loved every day. He might not express it verbally, but through his actions, like a gentle touch or a shared glance, he conveys his affection.
Dabi, surprisingly in touch with emotions, recognizes that you might have different expectations for Valentine's Day. "I get it, you want some romantic crap. Fine," he reluctantly admits, acknowledging the importance it holds for you.
Instead of traditional gifts, Dabi puts thought into finding something unique that resonates with you. It could be a rare book, a piece of artwork, or an item related to your hobbies. "I figured you'd like this better than some cliché crap, doll," he remarks.
During the day, Dabi might express his affection in subtle ways. A brush of his fingers against yours, a lingering glance, a warm hug, a rare smile or a shared cigarette.
Dabi, not one for grand gestures, suggests spending quality time together. "We can do whatever you want."
Dabi prefers low-key activities, so he suggests a casual day out rather than an extravagant date. It could be a stroll through a less crowded part of town or a visit to a place that holds personal significance.
Dabi values private moments over public displays of affection. He might pull you aside for a quiet conversation or a shared moment away from prying eyes, kissing you passionatelly in an alley after picking the order from your favourite restaurant.
In the evening, Dabi might create a quiet, intimate atmosphere. He pulls you close, whispering, "I'm not good with words, but you know what you mean to me, right?" His actions speak louder than any declaration.
The evening is peaceful, just the two of you, enjoying each other's company without the need for excessive words.
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♡ Shigaraki ♡
Shigaraki openly expresses his disdain for Valentine's Day, dismissing it as a celebration that glorifies something horrific. "It's just a stupid, commercialized excuse to sell crap. I don't get the hype," he grumbles.
Despite his aversion, when he notices your excitement for the occasion, Shigaraki chooses to bite his tongue.
In a rare show of consideration, Shigaraki instructs Kurogiri to order a bouquet of your favorite flowers from the local florist. This act of embracing the holiday, even reluctantly, is his way of showing that he cares about your happiness.
"I don't get why people like this crap, but if it makes you happy, I'm willing to change my mind."
Shigaraki, true to his personality, prefers a minimalist celebration. Instead of grand gestures, he might suggest a quiet evening or a simple dinner, keeping the focus on the two of you without succumbing to excessive sentimentality.
He ensures that all the League of Villains members are assigned unexpected additional missions, even though they may express their discontent. Shigaraki wants to spend this day with you only.
As the day progresses, Shigaraki might quietly observe your joy. "You better appreciate this. I don't do this for just anyone," he remarks, a hint of satisfaction in his tone, showing that your happiness matters to him.
For the evening, Shigaraki proposes an anti-romantic movie night, selecting films that defy typical romantic clichés. "None of that sappy stuff. Let's watch something that doesn't make my teeth hurt," he suggests.
As you drift into slumber nestled in his embrace, he delicately traces patterns on your back with his pinky cautiously elevated to prevent any accidental decay. "I love you, little Y/N," he whispers, even though he's well aware that you're already lost in the realm of dreams.
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♡ Bakugo ♡
Valentine's Day, according to Bakugo, is a bothersome and superficial affair, hiding behind a facade of fake sentimentality. Ranting about the superficiality of the day, Katsuki loudly declares, "I don't need some capitalist crap to tell me when to appreciate someone, tsk!"
"It's a dumb day. Why should I care?" Initially dismissing the idea of celebrating, he flaunted his lack of interest until the sight of your disappointment shattered his nonchalant façade.
Experiencing a pang in his chest, he noticed your lower lip trembling as you tried to assure him that you didn't need to participate. Even though he often expressed his emotions through actions, he couldn't shake the feeling that this time might be different.
With a resigned sigh, he swallows his pride, extending a genuine apology. He confesses to a change of heart, "Look, I changed my damn mind. No harm in spending time together or making this stupid day special, I guess. You're important or whatever."
Bakugo, true to himself, plans unconventional celebration. "If we're gonna do this, we'll do it my goddamn way. Tsk, I heard there's a place with those damn fluffy dogs. Don't get any ideas, I just thought it might be amusing or something," he grumbles, leading you to a Shiba cafe.
Bakugo finds himself in a rare, awkward position as one of the dogs playfully jumps on him. "Stupid mutt, get off!" he protests, but you catch a fleeting, embarrassed smile as he secretly enjoys the canine attention.
As you both sip coffee surrounded by Shiba Inu companions, Bakugo, unaccustomed to public displays of affection, reaches for your hand under the table and rubs its top with his thumb while drinking his espresso.
The sheer joy on Bakugo's face as a Shiba snuggles against him is a sight to behold. He attempts to hide it with a dismissive comment, "They're just damn dogs, but whatever, they're kinda cute, I guess."
Upon arriving home, Bakugo could catch you off guard by presenting a dessert skillfully shaped like a heart. "It's stupid, but fine. You better eat it," he grumbles, a touch of pride in his eyes surfacing as you commend his cooking prowess.
As the day draws to a close, Bakugo may catch you off guard with an unforeseen tender moment – enfolding you in his sturdy arms, drawing you snugly against his robust chest. He gently massages your shoulders and plants affectionate kisses on your face. "I love you, Y/N. Make sure you never forget that," he declares, his words carrying a sincerity that transcends his usual gruff demeanor.
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♡ Shoto ♡
While Shoto may come across as indifferent to Valentine's Day, the truth is, he's like a child eagerly anticipating a visit to a candy store, envisioning a day filled with profound love shared with you.
Shoto brims with an unusual level of excitement, eager to shower you with pampering and spoils. While he typically engages in such gestures, this time, he has elaborate plans under wraps – surprises that would catch you off guard and leave you pleasantly astonished.
On Valentine's morning, you wake up to the irresistible aroma of a homemade breakfast. Shoto, armed with a chef's apron, presents a heart-shaped feast, each dish crafted with precision and love. As you enter the kitchen, he greets you with a warm smile, "Happy Valentine's Day. This is just the beginning."
Throughout the day, you discover tiny love notes strategically placed in unexpected corners. Each note holds sweet affirmations, showcasing Shoto's meticulous effort to sprinkle your day with joy.
In a quiet moment, Shoto presents you with a carefully crafted, handmade gift. It could be a piece of art, a personalized item, or something that holds sentimental value. He shyly admits, "I wanted to make something special for you. I hope you like it."
Unbeknownst to you, Shoto unveils a surprise date that surpasses all expectations. "I thought we could spend the day doing things you enjoy. It's all about making you happy." From a tranquil picnic in the park to a spontaneous dance under the stars, every moment is curated to create lasting memories.
Upon returning home, as evening approaches, Shoto unveils a cozy haven, complete with blankets and your favorite snacks. The ambiance exudes warmth, inviting you to unwind and revel in the tranquility of your shared love.
The day concludes with a handwritten love poem, penned by Shoto himself. Each line is an eloquent expression of his feelings, capturing the nuances of your connection in words as sweet as the love that binds you.
Before you retire for the night, Shoto pulls you into a gentle embrace. "Thank you for being with me. Happy Valentine's Day," he whispers, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.
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♡ Hawks ♡
Upon waking up on Valentine's Day, you're greeted with a pile of gifts neatly arranged beside the bed. Hawks, unable to contain his excitement, watches for your reaction with a grin. "Happy Valentine's Day, babe. Open them up!"
Hawks takes Valentine's Day as the ultimate opportunity to showcase his love. From breakfast in bed to surprise outings, he plans an entire day filled with over-the-top affectionate gestures. "Get ready for a day all about you, songbird."
Hawks, with his love language being gift-giving, meticulously selects each present. "I thought of everything you might like. You're worth it," he mentions as you uncover thoughtful and personalized gifts.
The day unfolds with whimsical adventures – perhaps a surprise trip to an amusement park or an impromptu picnic. Hawks is determined to make the day unforgettable.
Throughout the day, Hawks showers you with unexpected compliments. "You know, you're the best thing that ever happened to me," he confesses.
As the day progresses, Hawks concludes with a romantic dinner, whether it's a home-cooked meal or a reservation at a fancy restaurant. "To us and many more Valentine's Days to come," he toasts, a warmth in his golden eyes.
As the day comes to a close, Hawks proposes the idea of late-night stargazing. Draped in blankets, both of you settle on the spacious balcony of his apartment. Hawks, pointing out constellations, weaves stories of the night sky. "Just us and the stars. Can't beat a moment like this, huh?"
As the day winds down, Hawks might surprise you with a midnight snack. "Can't end the day on an empty stomach. Here, your favorite, babybird," he says, presenting a thoughtful treat.
As you both drift into a peaceful slumber wrapped in each other's arms, Keigo can't help but revel in the profound happiness that washes over him. Having found the love of his life, he's determined to cherish this precious connection on a daily basis, not just during Valentine's Day.
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luna-saguaro-photo · 3 months
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Cupid & Psyche
garrett_wear & missmillymarie
📷 @luna-saguaro-photo
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ladykailitha · 4 months
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Love is Kind
All of the stories I was reading today were sad Steve and it made me cry so I wrote happy Steve to make me feel better.
@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03
***
Jeana looked down at the purple water lilies in Steve's hand in distaste.
"Water lilies?" she asked, frowning. "Not red roses?"
Steve looked at her in confusion. "Yeah, your favorite flower in your favorite color."
"Yeah," she agreed, reluctantly taking the flowers. "But red roses are more romantic for Valentine's Day."
Steve went from wilting in disappointment to her reaction, to standing up straight with a spine of steel. "Oh I get it now." He took bouquet back from her forcefully. "Yeah, we're done."
Jeana's eyes went wide. "You're breaking up with me on Valentine's Day over a bunch of flowers?"
"No, Jeana," he said coldly. "We're done because you didn't tell me you wanted red roses. I assumed that the cheaper more personal water lilies would be the perfect thing for Valentine's Day."
Jeana winced.
"Ohhh..." Steve said, "I get it now. You wanted the Harrington money." He rubbed his fingers together. "Despite the fact that I work at a book store. That I told you when we first started going out that I had been kicked out."
Jeana rolled her eyes. "You still wore nice clothes and had fancy hair products in your bathroom, like I was supposed to believe that obvious lie?"
"I save for those!" Steve hissed. "I can't use anything else for my hair, I've tried. And yeah, so sue me for buying something nice once in a while."
She peeked around him to see the table was set with romantic candles and another bouquet of water lilies. "You weren't even going to take me out to eat?"
Steve tossed the flowers on the counter behind him. "Why else would I have you come here instead of picking you up?"
Jeana threw her arms in the air. "I thought you were supposed to be this Romeo, this Casanova."
Steve's nostrils flared. "Out!"
She stomped her foot and crossed her arms. "I'm not going anywhere until we talk this through!"
"There is nothing to talk about," Steve said, spinning her around and pushing her toward the door. "You were expecting me to shell out a shit ton of money on you, money you thought I was hiding from you. It's clear you were never interested in me, only the money and prestige the Harrington name brought you."
He opened the door and shoved her through it. "Goodbye."
He slammed the door behind her and gripped his hair tightly. Not enough to pull but just enough to feel pain at pressure of his tugging.
Now he had dinner that was about to be ready in ten minutes, no girlfriend, and a dessert he had slaved over all day.
He needed to call someone to share this with. Robin was doing Valentine's with Vickie so she was out.
Then his eyes lit up. He knew exactly who to call.
He walked over to the phone and dialed.
"Hello, Munson's Funeral Parlor, you tag 'em, we bag 'em," the warm baritone came through the line.
"Eddie!" Steve said with a giggle.
"Stevie!" Eddie greeted back. "To what to I owe this pleasure?"
"How goes your anti-consumerism night in?" Steve asked, avoiding Eddie's question.
"Eh..." Eddie said. "Could be better. I'm watching violent movies to make myself feel less lonely."
Steve chewed on his bottom lip. "I have a warm lasagna, fresh breadsticks, and a nice bottle of wine and suddenly sans a girlfriend if you wanted to have some company."
"What happened with Jeana?" Eddie asked.
Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "She didn't want me, she wanted the Harrington money, the King Steve charm, and a Casanova, not Steve Harrington who works at a queer little book shop in the middle of town."
"Well, fuck her," Eddie said. "Her loss. You bet I'll be there, sweetheart. Just give me time to put on my shoes and I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Thanks, Eds."
*
Steve opened the door a few minutes later to find that Eddie somehow had found sunflowers in the middle of fucking winter.
“Where are on earth did you find these, Eds?” Steve asked, breathing in the scent of his favorite flower.
Eddie tapped his nose knowingly. He spotted the water lilies in the vase on the table and dumped them in the trash. He replaced them with Steve’s sunflowers.
“There, that livens up the place better,” he said, turning to Steve, “don’cha think?”
Steve smiled back at him. “Yeah it really does.”
He went and made up their plates as Eddie opened the wine. He set them down on the table while Eddie filled their glasses. Steve trotted back to the kitchen and pulled out the breadsticks that were warming in the oven. He put them in a nice basket a covered them with a towel. He set them on the table between Eddie and him.
“This looks fantastic, Stevie,” Eddie murmured and dug into the lasagna. “Ooh. This is better than fantastic. This is divine.”
Steve hurried to take a sip of his wine to hide the flush of pleasure at the compliment that dusted his cheeks. And judging from the smirk on Eddie’s face, he hadn’t been successful at all.
“So what were you watching before I interrupted you?” he asked, blush still staining his cheeks.
“Chinatown.”
Steve grimaces. “That is pretty violent. A little depressing too.”
Eddie shrugged, stabbing another bite of lasagna. “Was kind of the point. Didn’t want anything happy or romantic today.”
Steve picked up his glass and held up to Eddie. “I’ll drink to that.”
Eddie laughed, but clinked their glasses together and drank when Steve did.
They polished off all of the breadsticks, all of the wine, and about half of the lasagna. Steve put the leftovers in the fridge.
“You want a soda or something?” he called from the door of the fridge.
“I’ll take a beer if you have one,” Eddie called back from the sofa.
Steve grabbed two beers and handed one of the cans to Eddie.
“I thought you preferred bottles, babe,” Eddie said, popping open the can.
“I do,” Steve muttered darkly. “They were Jeana’s.”
Eddie cackled. “Here’s to stealing your ex’s shitty beer!”
Steve laughed too. “Cheers!”
Eddie went over to Steve’s record player and put on some Metallica he’d left over here and then flopped back on the sofa next to Steve.
“Thanks for coming over,” Steve murmured over the screaming riffs of Master of Puppets. “Rob is over at Vickie’s tonight and didn’t want to ruin her Valentine’s day, too.”
Eddie smiled softly. “And since I refuse to participate in the rampant consumerism of the day, there would be nothing for you to ruin.”
Steve chuckled. “That and you’re my best friend. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want to spend it with.”
This time it was Eddie’s turn to blush and he shoved a lock of hair in front of his face to hide the redness of his cheeks. He pushed playfully at Steve’s shoulder. “Fuck off. I’m sure there are lots of people you could have called that would have come running.”
“Rob was first pick,” Steve said, “you were second. I mean it, Eds. I wanted to share everything I’d done for her with you instead.”
Eddie’s blush reached his ears and stained the column of his throat. “You keep that shit up and this boy is going to start thinking impure thoughts.”
Steve blinked for a moment before he laughed. It wasn’t a harsh or hurtful laugh. It was bright and cheerful. “You put out on the first date, Eds?”
Eddie who was starting to think he’d taken it a step too far, stared up at Steve in amazement. He got his wits back fast enough to quip, “Only if they’re pretty enough.”
Steve ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck trying to hide his embarrassment. Well maybe that was the wrong word. Charmed. He was fucking charmed.
“You think I’m pretty?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Eddie raised Steve’s chin with his finger. “The prettiest boy I’ve ever seen, Stevie.”
Steve gulped. “And if I told you that I’ve had the biggest crush on you for so long?”
“Then I would ask why we aren’t dating, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured, leaning in close.
Steve let out a shuddering sigh. “Because I didn’t think I was an option for you.”
Eddie half knelt on the sofa, cupping his face in his hands. “You are my number one option, honey. Just say the word and I’m yours.”
“Mine.”
Eddie grinned and then kissed Steve gently on the lips. He pulled back after a moment. “This isn’t just because you’re lonely on Valentine’s Day, right?”
Steve pulled Eddie onto his lap and brushed their noses together. “No, baby. She was only ever a placeholder for you. And a piss poor one at that. She never loved me for me. Not like you.”
Eddie chuckled. “And what makes you think I love you, pretty boy?”
“Because you knew I would be sad and brought me sunflowers.”
Eddie kissed Steve fiercely. “You are too clever for your own good, honey. Yes, that is exactly why I brought them. Because I didn’t want you to be sad. Because I wanted you to feel loved.”
“And I do,” Steve murmured. “I love you, too. So so much.”
“Good.”
They resumed kissing. It was darker. Deeper. More potent. Eddie could write songs and poems and books filled with the love he felt for this man and finding out that he felt the same.
All the bookstores and libraries in all the world couldn’t begin to fill the amount of pages Eddie would need to even try and convey how he felt in that moment.
But it could be summed up in one word.
Ecstasy.
Just pure ecstasy.
*
Robin wasn’t sure if it could be called a walk of shame when she had told Steve that she would be spending the night at Vickie’s, but walking into their shared apartment after the wild sex they had had last night she did feel a little silly.
She stopped short when she saw who was in her kitchen making breakfast in Steve’s track pants.
“Eddie?” she squeaked.
Eddie looked up at her with a grin. “Welcome home, Bucksters! If you haven’t eaten yet, pull up a chair and grab a stack of pancakes. I’ve made plenty.”
“You’re not Jeana,” Robin said stupidly.
“Nope.”
“Steve would never cheat,” she said, again trying to figure this out.
“Nope.”
“You two are a couple now?” Robin asked, her brain still in first gear.
“Yup!”
Just then a very sleep rumpled Steve came wandering out of his bedroom and latched on to Eddie. “I missed you.” He kissed Eddie’s neck.
Eddie kissed his temple. “Sorry, sweetness. I got hungry.”
“Mhmm..” he muttered. “Does smell good.”
“Morning, dingus.” Robin crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You want to tell what this is about?”
Steve looked over at her and gave her a dopey smile. “Jeana sucked. Only wanted the Harrington money and not me. Called Eddie over to make me less sad. He brought me sunflowers and made me very happy.”
Robin looked over at Eddie who half shrugged around a clingy Steve. “That’s the gist of it.”
“Got it,” she said. “I’m happy for you both.”
She grabbed a plate and pilled on the pancakes, with Steve releasing Eddie to do the same.
As the three of them sat down and ate Eddie’s pancakes, Steve smiled happily to himself.
He was with the two people he loved most in all the world and he wouldn’t change a thing.
***
Permanent List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @artiststarme ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual
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queenimmadolla · 1 year
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𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀
(eddie munson x secret admirer!reader)
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𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 • eddie edit © @fefemunson! • ao3
Summary: After four long years of pining, it’s high time you tell your crush you like him and quite possibly your last chance to, luckily there’s no better time for love confessions than Valentine’s Day. If only you hadn’t chosen to do so anonymously, because you’re pretty sure Eddie Munson is hoping his secret admirer is someone else.
Warnings: pining, angst, misunderstandings, very brief (blink and you miss it) descriptions of oncoming panic attack (doesn't happen), Heather Holloway being a sweetie, and a whole lot of fluff
authors note: no, you're not imagining things. i'm reposting a story i already have up. unfortunately, i seem to have an anti who has been flagging anything of mine that gains traction as content that it is not so it's hidden to those who don't have the settings on (most people) and goes to die away, never to be interacted with again. they're attempting to do the same to Magical Mysteria, as they had the original flagged and, therefore, hidden. because everyone seemed to really relate to reader and enjoyed reading this particular fic, i've decided to give that anti the finger, so here's a repost.
word count: 10k
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You stood posted by a row of lockers, peaking around the corner of the hall to watch as the longtime object of your affections laughed at something one of his friends said.
“Are you stalking him again?”
You jumped, clutching your biology book to your chest as you swiveled around to face Heather, your best friend.
“Geez!” You hissed out, voice low as you checked to make sure you hadn’t attracted his attention.
But it’s you, so of course you hadn’t. Eddie was still leaning up against his locker and chatting away, face framed by the mane he called his hair. His curls were defined much more than usual—clearly he’d washed his hair before school which meant he must have been up early. Why did you know that????
“I’m not stalking him,” you grumbled and Heather giggled. “I’m just observing him.”
“Well, stop observing him and go talk to him.” She nudged your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile. 
“I’m gonna—,” You answered with false bravado that soon wavered, “. . . eventually. Look, I have a plan. Okay, today is a new day, Valentine’s Day and the perfect day for romance. No more watching from the sidelines─”
Heather coughed out a stalking, followed by another cough, all of which you ignored.
“No more quietly pining, I’m telling him how I feel.”
Heather raised her eyebrows, tongue clicking. 
“Let me get this straight, you’re not only going to actually exchange words with him, you’re actually going to tell Eddie Munson about your feelings?”
Your heart fluttered just at the mention of him.
Edward Wayne Munson. Eddie.
You’d had a crush on him since your freshman year of high school, and contrary to your best friend’s earlier statement, you had exchanged words with him already. Sorta. Basically.
Freshman year you’d ate shit in the hallway, tripping over literally nothing and all your belongings had scattered, he’d stopped walking to help you pick your things up before he was off again. It wasn’t much conversation, but he did say something about those invisible rocks people left lying around.
Then your sophomore year, he’d sat behind you with his club at the school’s mandatory pep rally. One of his friends had accidentally jostled you and Heather a little too roughly when he was finding his seat and Eddie had apologized on his behalf.
Then last year he’d held the cafeteria door open for you and your friends when you slipped in. That time, you’d been the one to thank him and he had said you’re welcome. Almost unprompted!
So, yeah. Maybe you were a little delusional, it didn’t matter though. What mattered was you were running out of time. 
Somehow, Eddie had managed to fail the past two years, allowing you to catch up to him but that meant you were now a senior as well. You’d let the other chances to approach him pass you by because you were too scared of rejection, this was your last chance.
The college acceptance letter you’d received at the start of the week also spurred your bravery, if he rejected you, you only had a few months left until you were on your way to California, there’d be all those states between the two of you. 
You had nothing to lose, so today was gonna be the day.
“Yes,” you took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as the determination sank deep into your bones. “I’m gonna tell him.”
“How are you gonna do that?” She cocked her head, the curls of her side ponytail bouncing.
“I’m glad you asked, my friend.” You grabbed her hand, dragging her down the hall to your partially opened locker. You pulled the door open fully to reveal a bouquet of roses, set on top of your books.
Her face wrinkled up in confusion, “You bought yourself flowers again?”
“No.” You glared at her, a hand scratching your head as you hissed out through gritted teeth, “And we promised not to bring that up anymore—these are for Eddie.”
Heather perked up at that, a hand resting over her chest as she fawned, “Dude, that is so cute! When are you gonna give them to him?”
“That’s the thing, I’m not actually going to give them to him directly. I need your help. You’ve got history with him, yeah?”
You already knew she did so it didn’t surprise you when she nodded. You slipped one rose from the bouquet and handed it to her. 
“Can you leave this on his desk?” 
“Sure! Wow, I can’t believe I get to be part of your love story,” she marveled, twirling the stem between her fingertips.
God, you hoped it’d be a love story and not a tragedy.
“And these are for you.” You pulled out a smaller bouquet of pink roses, and Heather just about burst into tears.
The two of you had been best friends since middle school, and often spent your free time watching corny teen movies, usually living through the main characters of the romance ones. You’d had a couple of almost-boyfriends, in the end you hadn’t been interested in them enough to accept when they’d try to make it official. And Heather simply hadn’t caught the eye of anyone, which was ridiculous to you considering how pretty and nice she was, so you were usually her valentine on Valentine’s Day. This was the first time you actually got her flowers instead of a bunch of chocolates to eat the night away, you’d figured she deserved them. 
She’d had a crush on Steve Harrington, but he hadn’t noticed her and ended up dating and getting dumped by Nancy Wheeler. Then he’d dated every other girl except her. You feared your non-existent relationship with Eddie might go the same way.
“Dude,” Heather yanked you in for a hug, squeezing you to the point you thought your ribs might be bruised.
“Uhm. Heather. Ow.”
“Oh, sorry.” She released you, holding you by your shoulders, “Okay, so I just give it to him?”
“No, no, no, no, no. There will be no interactions. Just leave it on his desk.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
You were about to reply when the first bell cut you off and threw you into a panic, nudging Heather in the direction of the classroom so she could beat Eddie there. Heather took off running once she realized the reason for your worry, only you both failed to remember Eddie was late to everything. 
You reluctantly made your way to your first period, plagued by thoughts of Eddie’s reaction to the first rose.
Would he like it? Oh, you hoped he liked it.
What if he thought it was some prank? What if he threw it away? Would he do the same to the rest?
Oh, well. There was no backing out now.
Your carefully thought out plan was put into action. You’d made sure to play sick the last 15 minutes of every class to get an excuse note to the nurse, only you didn’t go to the nurse. Instead, you ran around leaving a rose in Eddie’s various hang outs. One at the creepy old bench you knew he did business at. Two roses with the stems placed through the slits of his locker, three on his windshield wipers, one of the younger students in your art class was in Hellfire with him and after swearing him to secrecy, Will had promised to deliver three to Eddie personally, without revealing your identity.  
During lunch, you found yourself behind the stage of the cafeteria, in part of the drama department. It’s where Hellfire took place. 
You’d been there a handful of times, only when your curiosity for the metalhead got a little too overwhelming for you and you wanted to feel closer to him without having to face him. It was only ever set up on Fridays, the day Eddie got to school early enough to do so. 
You made your way over to sit in the chair closest to his throne, casting it a couple of nervous glances.
This would be where you left the last rose, so of course, everything about the set up, the throne had to look daunting to you now; a representation of how you were seeing Eddie as your confession grew nearer. If things didn’t go as planned, it’d be the last time you could come here.
The thought made your stomach hurt, a large void beginning to form there. 
The last rose was much too personal to leave just anywhere, where someone without a key to the room would find it. No one but the Hellfire club would occupy this area today. Attached to the rose with a ribbon was a note with a simple message that meant more to you than you cared to admit. You’d written it when you first came up with your plan at the start of the week and had been debating on whether or not to sign your name since then. 
The answer should’ve been obvious, right? This whole thing was to let Eddie know how you felt about him, and your romantic intentions were clear with the red roses. This note would finish implying the rest. And if you wanted Eddie to know it was you who admired him,  you just had to write your name.
Yeah, simple as that.
You clicked the pen in your grasp, placing it just over the paper. 
You wavered, licking your lips as you tried to convince yourself to just own your goddamn name. That’s all you had to do. Write on the paper.
Just write on the paper.
Your hand was beginning to shake, and with a heavy heart, you realized your name wouldn’t be going on this note.
You weren’t brave enough for that. You set your purple pen down, staring down at the words written in pink ink before you rolled the paper up, making sure the ribbon was secured (you’d used a hole puncher to slip the ribbon through) and left it on the seat of the throne before scurrying out of the room as fast as you could.
Eddie was at a loss, completely stupefied.
When he’d arrived at his history class, after having mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of boredom he’d face, he was surprised to find a single rose on his desk. By surprised, he meant incredibly suspicious. A glance around the room confirmed he wasn’t being watched, everyone was gossiping about Emmy Switcher’s upcoming party, so he’d settled into his seat and marveled at it.
Eddie wasn’t one to ever really get things on Valentine’s Day, not counting the mandatory valentine’s cards in elementary and middle school. The last time he’d gotten a card was his first senior year, and it had been a prank by a couple of girls on the softball team and their boyfriends. Embarrassed the shit out of him. The following Valentine’s Day he’d faked being sick to avoid falling victim again—god, he craved affection so much it made him pathetic enough to still hope for something gross and cheesy to happen to him. 
A rose was harmless though, right? Unless it was poisoned or something. Eddie lifted it to his nose, but all he could pick up was the seductive floral scent and when he didn’t immediately pass out from chloroform, he figured it was just a rose.
He glanced around again in vain, hoping someone would somehow stick out and when no one did, he held it in his grasp, rough fingertips stroking over the soft petals for the duration of the class.
He’d been stunned when he arrived at his locker to find two roses hanging out of it. A few people were staring at him as he carefully pulled them from their place, but they looked more curious rather than shy or mischievous. He had a feeling whoever was leaving the roses for him wasn’t around. 
He refused to leave them in his locker, the stems clutched in his hand as he went about his day and found more. Eddie was more than proud to display them, somewhat smug at the attention they were garnishing him.
Yeah, fuckers. Someone finally liked him. Eat shit.
He’d spent his English class convincing himself he’d never find out exactly who this someone was. He was pretty fucking stressed after that. He tried to come up with a roster of sorts, girls he thought might be interested in him enough to maybe leave him pretty flowers and woo him right out of his Reeboks.
He’d only been able to come up with four—impressive—but his first pick he was quick to scribble out. He hadn’t had a decent interaction with her and he figured it was creepy of him to put her at the top of the list all because of his wishful thinking. 
The second girl listed was possible, maybe. Chrissy Cunningham. He’d had a crush on her for as long as he could remember since she was always nice to him. She’d dumped Jason a couple of months ago and he’d been dealing to her for a short amount of time, but she seemed pretty flirty to him. Although, flattery did work on him.
The third name made him nervous, and not in a good way. Tina Sawyer. They’d both got pretty drunk at her Halloween party and hooked up in her bathroom but she avoided him like the plague afterwards, obviously embarrassed about interacting with him, which was typical for the lot of Hawkins.
He’d been sure it was a drunken mistake but sometimes, he’d catch her staring at him, and she didn’t look all that disgusted with him.
The last name on the short list was that of Tammy Thompson. She had made her interest in Eddie pretty clear his junior year, always trying to sit behind him in classes so she could play with his hair. Unfortunately Tammy was very, for the lack of better words, aggressive with her affections. He’d made out with her once and it had been sloppy and messy in the most unattractive of ways. It was like tonguing a dog.. Then he remembered she’d actually been able to graduate, unlike him, so he was spared. 
By lunch, Eddie was ready to try to figure out who his secret admirer was. Out of the two remaining girls on his list, he was leaning more towards Chrissy, who he felt wouldn’t be ashamed to hold his hand in public. 
He and his lunchbox full of drugs—and some snacks—made their way to the Hellfire lunch table where he spent a significant amount of time studying the two girls.
“Uh, are you okay, Eddie?”
Eddie glanced up at the concerned face of Will Byers, who’d arrived much later than the rest of the guys and Stephanie, one of the two girls in Hellfire. The question drew the attention of the rest of the table and Eddie internally sighed.
“Yeah, I’m fine—what are those?” Eddie asked, eyes honed in on the roses resting on Will’s tray.
The younger teen handed them over, “A girl told me to give you these.”
Eddie felt his heart skip a beat, “You know who she is?”
Will nodded and before Eddie could demand a name, he rushed, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy!”
Eddie scowled, carefully setting aside his roses so they wouldn’t be involved in his annoyance. 
“Byers, I’m gonna level with you. I’ve been in this miserable prison for six long years. While I’ve had my fair share of hookups, I have not ever had a girl like me enough to leave me roses and do cute shit before. And I fear I never will again. That’s why I’m actually gonna need you to tell me who it is so I can have a girlfriend by the end of what is supposed to be the most god awful romantic day of the year. ‘Kay?”
Eddie’s eyebrows dart up, face set in an intimidating glower but Will remembers how scared you looked when you trusted him with this task. He also knows, very well, how it feels to love someone without them ever knowing because you fear what their response will be. He’d also seen Eddie eyeing both Chrissy and Tina.
Will knew what it was like to have that special person interested in someone else, too. So, he’d protect your secret.
“I swore.”
Eddie groaned, head dipping forward in a brief moment of defeat before he slammed his fist on the table, making the other occupants jump. 
“Whatever, I’ll find her myself.” Just as Eddie stands, an idea occurs to him. Will said he wouldn’t tell him who it was, but the youngest Byers hadn’t said he wouldn’t tell him who it wasn’t, “Is it Tina?”
Will shakes his head, nose wrinkling. Nothing against her, she just wasn’t the nicest to him or his friends. Not the meanest, still.
Eddie breathes out a sigh, mumbling an oh, thank god as he makes his way to the cafeteria doors. That only left one possibility, and he was due to meet up with her in just five minutes. He couldn’t fight the grin off his face.
── 
Your heart was racing a mile a minute, having witnessed everything transpire at the Hellfire table.
You’d selected your lunch table four years ago because of the perfect view of Eddie it provided you, but right then it was killing you. You’d ruined your manicure, picking aggressively at the polish as you watched Will and Eddie, breathing out a sigh of relief when it looked like Will hadn’t revealed your identity.
Eddie hadn’t seemed too happy about that.
Then he stormed out and you fought very hard with yourself to not follow after him because then Heather would be right and you’d be a stalker.
“Regret it yet?” Heather asked after she’d swallowed a bite of her sandwich. 
“No.” You sorta lied. Yeah, you kind of regretted it but at the same time, knowing Eddie wouldn’t have to let you down gently made you less anxious. Besides, it wasn’t like you could just climb up the stage and duck past the curtain leading to the hellfire room without one of it’s members spotting you from their table. They’d tell Eddie in a heartbeat, especially if they found out the last rose and that damn note was there.
“Sure,” Heather drawled, glancing over her shoulder as you picked at your food, appetite suddenly gone. 
Maybe you really should have written your name on that love note. 
“Well, I hope you mean it, because Dream Girl is on her way to meet Ice Cream.” Your head snapped up at the mention of Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie’s code names you’d given them so both you and Heather were free to talk without either of them suspecting anything. You referred to Chrissy as Dream Girl because you’d known all about Eddie’s crush on her (while Heather had been depressed about Steve and Nancy, you’d eaten your weight in ice cream over Eddie and Chrissy’s more than friendly interactions with each other, which had nothing to do with Eddie’s code name—he was ‘ice cream’ because you wanted to lick him all over).
Sure enough, you looked over Heather’s shoulder, following her gaze to see Chrissy bidding her friends goodbye before she walked right out of the doors Eddie had pushed past minutes ago and as you watched her exit through the double doors, something inside you withers and dies a bit.
You knew Eddie sold to her (gave her a discount because she was pretty and because of their flirting, hearing him say that made you want to drive a knife right through your chest), you and Heather had followed them out a couple of times which is how you were both aware of the flirtationship.
After the first time you’d spied on them, the two of you had gone back to your home where Heather held a mock funeral for you. Now, you wished it had been a real one because you were sure Eddie had not only loved your roses, he also assumed they were from Chrissy. They would send him right into her arms at that shitty ass bench. And when he’d get a hold of the love note, well, you’d be the reason behind why Eddie and Chrissy would be hand in hand come Monday, canoodling by their lockers and kissing like no one else was watching. All the things Eddie should have been doing with you.
You should have signed your name on the fucking note.
Eddie had paced a pathway, disturbing the mounds of fallen leaves surrounding the picnic table. 
His stuff, another rose he’d found waiting for him included, was on the table and he’d taken off his jacket, despite the chill of the February air. He was working himself up in his head, overheating in the process.
“Eddie?”
His head shot around, grinning as Chrissy—who apparently left him roses—approached him, face broken out in a smile.
“Hey, Chris.” Eddie’s heart was racing a mile a minute, palms sweaty as he rested them over his hips, then quickly realized he looked stupid so he crossed them instead.
She laughed at his nerves with absolutely no malice and they sat down at the bench, getting down to business. She’d been about to hand him a twenty dollar bill after he slid her the ziploc bag of nugs, but he held up his hand.
“On the house.”
“Eddie, it’s always on the house. I feel bad.”
“Then stop.” He emphasized the demand with bulging eyes, smirking when she giggled. She had to like him, right?
Eddie tried to be discreet about it, plucking one of the roses from his growing pile. He played with the stem, even sniffed the petals again in hopes she’d comment about it, maybe look a little excited about it or just give him any sort of reaction to indicate it had been her.
Chrissy was too busy moving things aside in her backpack to make room for the baggy. When she finally did look back up, she smiled, but gave no hint she was even familiar with them.
“Ooh, pretty flowers. Where’d you get those?”
Was she playing coy?
“Uh, someone’s been leaving them for me all around school.” Was it you?
Chrissy’s face lit up and Eddie thought it was finally the moment of truth.
“That’s so sweet! Do you know who it is? Or is it like a secret admirer sort of deal?”
Evidently, not the moment of truth. She had to be toying with him, trying to prolong the reveal. Because if it wasn’t her, he was out of ideas. And he really, really didn’t want to be out of ideas. Not when there was someone out there, maybe thinking about him.
“I actually have no idea who it is,” he sighed out, hoping, if it was her, she’d just put him out of his damn misery already.
Chrissy glanced down at the table and Eddie perked up. Nerves? Was she finally gonna come out with it?
“It wasn’t me, Eddie…but, I wish it had been.”
Eddie didn’t know what to say, mouth dropped open a little as his eyebrows quirked up in surprise.
Okay. Hadn’t been expecting that. He was expecting a yes it was me or a no it wasn’t me but not Chrissy confirming it hadn’t been her while also telling him she liked him. 
“So, you haven’t been leaving them for me?”
Chrissy shook her head and reached across the table to place her smaller hand over his, palm warm against his skin. Eddie’s eyes squeezed shut as he groaned, head falling forward to rest against the table.
“Eddie?” Chrissy asked, concern lacing her voice.
He let out a very long sigh, a little miffed at how messy this whole thing had gotten. Now, there was his, Chrissy’s and someone else’s feelings in the mix. Christ.
“‘M’sorry, Chrissy.” Eddie sat up straight, face grim as he slowly pulled his hand out from underneath hers. “You’re great, fantastic, actually. You’re really nice and really pretty, but… I’ve been going crazy all day, trying to figure out who’s behind these.”
He gestures to the roses at his side, the sight of them filling him with an intense wave of longing.
“It’s been like years since I’ve gotten anything with real meaning behind it for any occasion—” he wasn’t counting the hellfire club or Wayne, referring to romantic intentions—“let alone Valentine’s Day, and someone in this school seems to be thinking about me.” 
Eddie thought about what it must have taken to do something like this, it may have seemed like a trivial thought, something simple to others. He knew it wasn’t. He had no idea who it was, but he put himself in their position. They had to know enough about him to know his schedule, where he spent time, and then make the time to leave them in those spots just before he got there. 
He’d spent the time waiting for Chrissy considering the anonymity of it. On the chance it wasn’t her, there was someone else in the school who was too afraid to approach him directly. He’d thought it might be out of fear of being seen with him, seen doing anything remotely romantic with him. Then, why even bother? They had to be afraid of his reaction, it’s what he would be nervous about if the positions were flipped.
And god, he’d never felt more alive before, more seen and all it took was a couple of roses. He felt like those fawning girls in John Hughes movies. 
“Before today, I never would have approached you about this, you know? I know we flirt, but I never would have been brave enough to cross that line.” He admitted, looking into her shiny blue eyes. Aw, man. Eddie hated making girls cry but it was true, he would have been waiting for her to make a move, or for Tina to make a move. Any of his past hookups, really. He’d have been with any of them—having craved affection and everything that came with it so bad—if they had just been the ones to initiate things on a more permanent basis. 
He would have. Past tense. They could all form a conga line and confess their undying love for him but, unless they were the one who left him the roses—the one who made him brave enough to actually go around confronting people in an attempt to seek her out—he’d let them down. 
“She made me brave, makes me feel really wanted and I don't even know who she is. It’s not you, it’s just─”
“I’m not her.” Chrissy finished for him, wiping under one of her eyes. “It’s alright, Eddie. I mean, I’m obviously a little sad, but it’s not your fault or hers. I do hope you find her, though. She’d be lucky to have you.”
She gave Eddie a sad smile, making him feel even guiltier but it’d be pretty shitty of him to try to be with her when he’d be thinking of someone else.
“Thanks, Chrissy.” Eddie stood up and gathered his things. It was clear she was upset and would probably need some time to gather herself, he didn’t want to force her to leave first or linger around and make it awkward.
He left her with a small, parting smile, relieved that he hadn’t charged her. Would have felt like a douchebag to make her pay for weed and turn her down in the span of five minutes when she’d been nothing but pleasant to him.
Eddie shook it off, determination setting in once more. Sure, he was back to the drawing board, but if all else failed, he could corner young Byers again until he finally gave him a name.
He’d come up with a pretty good list of ways he could force Will to give up the name by the time school let out and he got to the Hellfire room.
It wasn’t until he set his little bouquet and the lunchbox down (he didn’t bother with backpacks, just shoved whatever he needed in his pants pockets or the box), walking around the throne in a circle like some fucking animal because he was so restless, that he saw the rose.
The flash of white had caught his eyes and he dove down to grab it, trying to be as careful with pulling the piece of paper away from the stem of the rose, only he realized whoever left it had hole punched the thing together so he ripped the ribbon with his teeth rather than rip the note.
The ribbon was stuffed into his back pocket as he eagerly sat himself down, rose clutched in one hand and the note in his other.
Eddie,
Please excuse my lack of eloquence in this note and also in our real life encounters.
Eddie felt a shiver of excitement wash over his skin, cheeks a bright shade of pink at the confirmation he’d indeed interacted with his secret admirer before. Fuck, she’d talked to him! It made her feel even more real. 
She was a real person, someone he could probably hold hands with and kiss. Unless, this was done in a purely platonic way which would be a little fucked up. Red roses to be friends? C’mon. He read on.
I hoped you liked the flowers. I was actually debating on getting you different ones, something a little more personalized to you, but I ended up going with roses because, well, they convey romance better.
Eddie leaned over the arm of the throne, sagging back as he allowed himself to completely collapse with relief. Just for a few seconds, then his eyes were glued to the pink penmanship.
I’m trying really hard not to sound creepy because I’m totally not creepy and I know what you're thinking, ‘that’s what a creep would say’ but I swear I’m not, I just. I admire you. A lot. I have for so, so long. I admire the way you keep going, even when things are absolute shit for you, I like how you watch out for the underclassmen that come in and don’t really have anywhere to go. I like the way you dress, how pretty your hair is (even when it’s frizzy which is so unfair), how passionate you get with your rants (even though sometimes you’re an asshole about it). 
And I like your laugh I LOVE your laugh. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had what feels like the worst fucking day of my life and I’m ready to breakdown and cry and scream, but I don’t. Because I can hear you laugh your ass off at something one of your friends said in the cafeteria, by your locker or even when you’re just walking past me. And I wish I was there, laughing alongside you or making you laugh. I don’t know how your laughter makes me feel better, it just does. I get all smiley and I feel warm inside and I want to give you a hug for it, for making me feel better without even trying. 
But I can’t. You kind of scare me. Not in the mean, scary way, I’m just not sure you’ll like me. Or that it’ll go anywhere, or even if it should. 
You’re so confident, Eddie. And you’re stupid attractive (you are, and I’m sure you’re aware but I’ll go ahead and tell you I’m also physically attracted to you) and it’s so overwhelming that I can’t contain it anymore and I don’t really want to. We only have a couple of months before we’re out of here (I have a feeling this is gonna be your year, you’ll be free of this sentence, too), and I don’t want to have any regrets. The only way I’d ever regret you is by not telling you how I feel. 
So, here I am, Eddie Munson. Never thought I’d ever be confessing like this, but for the first time in my life, I feel brave. And it’s all because of you. Thank you, Eddie. I’ll be running around— dodging teachers and detention write ups— like Rocky in his training montages to get these roses to you because you deserve your flowers and I’d be delighted to give them to you today, and every single Valentine’s Day after. Actually, I want to give you even more than that. If you’ll have me.
Love,
What the fuck?
Eddie hastily searched the bottom portion of the back side of the paper, where the note ended for a signature, a name, initials, something but that’s where it ended.
 There was no name.
“NO! FUCK! NO! No, no, no, no, NO! I’ll have you, take me, just tell me who you are!” Eddie groaned out, note dropped into his lap so he could clench the roots of his hair with both fists as he doubled over.
This had to be a nightmare. It was the only reasonable explanation for someone to say all those wonderfuckingful things, just for them to disappear. 
His heart hurt and he blinked frantically to ward off the onslaught of water and sniffed to deter the tingle in his nose. 
The unmistakable sound of his own little rat pack making their way towards the room wasn’t enough to get him to pull himself together.
“Eddie, dude, are you okay?”
Eddie recalled his final option, head shooting to glance around at their faces in search of one in particular. 
“Byers. Where’s Byers?”
“His mom picked him up after lunch, wasn’t feeling good,” Mike informed him, completely unaware his grand Valentine’s gesture for Jane had been the cause of his sudden illness. 
It was the final straw for Eddie, he snatched the lunchbox and flowers and grumbled out, “Sessions canceled.”
He must have looked pissed as none of them protested, probably having something to do with most of them having dates afterwards. 
He almost made it out of the room when Gareth called him back, holding up a purple pen he’d found on the table and figured Eddie was about to forget.
“Is this yours?”
Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes. 
“No.” Then he walked out.
Before promptly storming back in, swiping the pen out of Gareth’s meaty hands. Eddie clicked the pen and scribbled furiously over the side of his fist until the ink finally ran. It wasn’t purple. The ink filler was pink.
His secret admirer’s pen.
“What a cruel parting gift,” he sighed, shoving the pen in his pocket before making his exit. Again.
The really sad thing was Eddie couldn’t even sink into depression in the peace of his room. Emmy Switcher had approached Rick about wanting some herbal refreshments at her party and since he was still under house arrest (how Rick managed to deal and supply in his circumstances baffled him) the job fell upon Eddie. He’d driven to Rick’s restocked, then hit the party. 
It was a horn fest, couples everywhere he looked. All heart-eyed and attached at the tongue. It was disgusting.
Eddie was pouting, quietly fuming that it wasn’t him and his secret admirer making out or cuddling or doing something equally romantic but noooooo. Just had to take the ‘secret’ aspect to its extreme. 
He banished himself to a dark corner, only interacting with people when approached for drugs or weed. He’d caught sight of Chrissy and it had looked like she wanted to come over but he’d purposely shifted his gaze. Despite the gaping hole left where his heart was, it wasn’t Chrissy or Tina, or the girl in the upstairs restroom, who’d thrown herself at him when he’d been searching for a free bathroom to piss in, that he wanted. Eddie wasn’t in the mood to rebound.
Which was kind of crazy considering he hadn’t even been in a relationship, hadn’t been dumped. He wanted everything in that note, especially the promise of more and only with its author. 
Now, Eddie hadn’t been in love before. Some serious lust and want, yeah, however, reading that note made him feel like he was falling a little bit in love and he wanted, very badly, to dive headfirst the rest of the way. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.
Once he’d sold out the rest of Rick’s inventory, he stole a beer and headed for the front door. 
Once outside, Eddie took a minute to breathe. He hadn’t realized how stuffy it had been in there until he was no longer engulfed by the claustrophobic displays of affection. 
He trudged down the pathway and paused when he saw the figure of a girl sitting on the lawn. Her head was directed down towards the ground and she was most definitely not wearing the right clothes for the outside weather.
Eddie cursed under his breath, plans to immediately drive home and get crossed put on hold as he walked over, noting the dew already coating the grass.
“Hey, you okay?”
Drinking your sorrows away probably wasn’t the best idea, considering how much of a lightweight you were. 
Originally, you’d wanted to lock yourself away in your room for the night—and probably the rest of the weekend as well as maybe the next school week; nothing wrong with playing sick to avoid facing reality and your problems─to cry and pass out. Heather, on the other hand, had plans for you. She’d dolled you up, having to force you to wash your face and re-do your makeup once when you had started crying—put you in a cute outfit and dragged you to Emmy Switcher’s party. 
You knew her intentions were pure—as pure as underage drinking could be—but she knew her mistake when the party started to couple up. You’d been approached multiple times and she’d try to encourage you to go for the decent acting ones, you just hadn’t wanted to. When Chrissy Cunningham showed up, you’d gone for shots of the hard liquor (over the sink of course in case you gagged it up, which you did a decent amount of), sure that Eddie would soon follow and you’d be forced to witness their affection.
Obviously, you ended up shitfaced and somehow lost track of Heather. Or maybe she lost track of you. You’d very briefly attempted to find her, accidentally spotted Chrissy, now making eyes at Eddie who’d shown up, and you’d promptly headed outside, eager for some fresh air and an escape from the madhouse. The high alcohol level in your blood kept you from feeling how chilly it really was and you settled into the grass, twirling strands of it around your fingers.
You weren’t sure how long you were out there when someone approached you.
“Hey, you okay?”
You looked up, ready to ask them to just leave you when you locked eyes with Eddie Munson. Most of the liquid courage coursing through your veins evaporated, you couldn’t look at him for long, gaze moving back to the grass. What a way to start sobering up.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure? ‘Cause,” Eddie sat down next to you, one leg crossed and his other, knee up with his arm resting over it. His unopened beer was at his side, “You’re outside, alone, in the cold and you look pretty fucking sad.”
You scoffed, fingers still playing with the strands of grass as you tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make you seem pathetic. In that time, Eddie took you in.
He knew you, he’d seen you around school and you were nice enough to greet him. Pleasantries in passing. Pretty Hallway Girl, as you’d been dubbed—though never referred to as—until he knew your name. It had been the first one he had jotted down on his list for his secret admirer’s identity, of course he realized with your lack of interactions, it wasn’t likely. He entertained the idea of dating you often, you’d just never shown any real interest in him. Eddie thought about it a lot. Anytime he caught sight of you, really. Your pretty face didn’t make it easy for him to stop. He was a really, really big sucker for your eyes and that smile you’d give him during those brief interactions; like the two of you had some sort of secret between each other. Warmed him up inside.
And here you were, all sad at a party. He didn’t really mind not getting crossed if it meant he got to comfort you, keep you company.
“I’m just drunk,” you finally blurted out, unable to come up with anything else, “And bummed.” 
Try devastated.
“You look it,” he joked, nudging his shoulder against yours.
“You don’t look that much better.” You shot back.
“That’s fair,” he sighed, breath visible in the night air as he tilted his head back. “I’m pretty bummed, myself.”
You really didn’t want to ask, figuring he’d already had some sort of lover’s quarrel with Chrissy and you didn’t want to get in the middle of it. 
But you were an idiot, so you asked, “Why are you bummed?”
You watched him dig around the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out of the pack, clenching it in between his teeth as he shoved the pack back into the pocket before he shrugged off the jacket entirely—denim vest included—putting it around your shoulders.
It caught you off guard but you were grateful, your body having decided to become once more susceptible to the chill of the air and dewy grass. Eddie must have been a freaking space heater because the lining inside was blissfully warm.
“Thank you,” you mumbled, shimmying around in it until you could slip your arms into the long sleeves of it, your fingers barely poking past the hem.
“You’re welcome,” he shrugged, flicking the lighter to life as he lit the cigarette. After he’d taken a drag, he answered you. 
“Love,” Eddie blew out along with a wispy plume of smoke, “Didn’t expect it to be so complicated.”
You wanted to mime the action of staking yourself in the heart. Of course he was in love with her. She was wonderful! And on top of that, he thought she’d been the one leaving him roses! Had he read the note? Assumed it was her, too? DUH! You were definitely playing sick next week.
“Yeah, well. Join the club,” you grumbled, hugging his jacket around you. It was as close as you were ever gonna get to actually hugging him. 
Eddie raised an eyebrow, hoping to school his disappointment. While he wasn’t looking for anyone else tonight, it was still displeasing to hear you were taken but of course you were. He couldn’t imagine you dating sporadically, you seemed much too wonderful for someone to even consider giving you up. No, he was gonna hurt himself with ideas involving you and a high school sweetheart stemming back to your freshman days, probably.
“Ah, I see. Is he here?”
You froze for a moment, “Uhm, yeah. He is.”
“Then why come? Or did it happen in there?” He jabbed a thumb behind him, gesturing to the party inside.
“No, it didn’t happen tonight, it was earlier. In the day. I didn’t really want to come but my best friend dragged me out here. I thought I was doing good, apparently not ‘cause here I am. I’m mostly bummed because of myself, though. I didn’t follow through on something I sort of promised myself and I messed everything up. For me. Not for him. I think he’s pretty happy, so I don’t want to ruin that. He deserves to be happy.”
Eddie could tell you meant it, you were vague as hell but whatever you’d done, however it ended, you genuinely seemed to want your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) to be happy. He hoped it wasn’t something you had to cave into for one of those meatheads. You deserved better than those jerks.
“That’s pretty selfless of you if you ask me,” Eddie raised the cigarette to his lips, admiring you.
“Eh, I guess. I fully plan on punishing myself for it, though. Really make sure to rub the salt in there, you know?” You finally turned to grin at him, despite the sinking feeling in your stomach.
Eddie thought about how he couldn’t just stop going to school so he could avoid having to look at all the faces in the crowds and wonder if his admirer is one of them.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m right there with you.”
Sweetheart. He really was trying to kill you.
“Eddie, get your ass in there and make up with her.” You lightly slapped his arm and jabbed your finger in the direction of the house. You were not about to let your sacrifice be in vain and he’d better stop unknowingly torturing you like this.
“I can’t!” He laughed, amused with your sudden bossy attitude.
“Why not?” You whined, eager to just get him away from you. It wasn’t fair, he wasn’t being fair.
“Because I have no idea who she is.”
Once again you froze, eyes widening. Luckily for you, Eddie didn’t look too much into your reaction. He figured most people would be surprised over him nursing a heartbreak from someone he didn’t quite actually know, or was aware that he knew.
“What?” You asked, trying to seem as uninterested as possible as you played with the ends of his jacket sleeves.
“Fuck it. Someone left me roses all around the school and this really amazing love note.” For a moment, Eddie entertained the idea of trying to convey exactly what it meant to him, then he thought better of it. He’d either seem crazy, desperate or like some pathetic guy in love (which, he kind of was on the cusp of), “Pretty sure it was a girl.”
Not a single dude in the high school was romantic enough to pull it off, maybe leave him an entire bouquet, but not expand upon it like she had.
Eddie licked his lips, raising the cigarette to them once more and ready to admit that he had no fucking clue who she was, but he figured he might as well make one last rally.
“Wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?”
“Not me,” you lied flawlessly, with a gentle shake of your head. “Sorry, Eddie.”
Sorry I’m a big liar because HOLY FUCKING SHIT, wasn’t expecting that. 
“I figured. Still had to try, your boyfriend probably would have kicked my ass, though.” Yeah, Eddie hated Valentine’s Day.
He stubbed the cigarette out into the wet grass, and laid the rest of the way down, hands covering his eyes as the back of his head met the ground.
You frowned down at him. 
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Hello. 
Eddie peaked at you through his fingers, “No?”
You shook your head and as Eddie moved to push himself back up, he yelped.
He shifted onto his side, digging around his pocket for whatever it was that stabbed him.
“Ouch,” He hissed, yanking the purple pen out. “Damn, that hurt like a bitch.” 
Your eyes squinted at it in suspicion.
“Is that my pen?”
“Huh?”
“My favorite—and pricey—pen. I lost it at school today.” In fact, you were sure you had and you were sure that was your pen. You’d broken off the clip of it by accident and you recognized the large crack in the body of it, having once given into an intrusive thought regarding whether or not you had the strength to break it while you were bored in class. You did have the strength and luckily for you, it still worked. 
When Eddie made no move to give your pen back, you figured he didn’t believe you so you added, “The ink is pink, right?”
Eddie continued to stare at you, mouth slightly parted in awe, and you suddenly felt very nervous, glancing behind you to see if there was something that caught his attention but all you could see were the empty lawns.
“What?” 
He finally blinked, licking his lips again. 
“You’re a really good liar.”
“What?” You repeated, this time your question was laced more so with confusion than panic. He was right, but why was he saying that?
His lips slowly parted up at the corners until he was grinning at you so wide, his dimples were showing and you could feel your heart beating wildly against your rib cage, as if it was trying to break free to fly right over to him.
“This is your pen?”
“Yes!” Is that what his happiness was about? That he was holding your prized pen hostage?
“This is your pen?” You could tell he was having fun at your expense now, getting more giddy by the minute.
“Yes!” You laughed out, his joy contagious even if he was teasing you with your own belongings. “That is my pen. Give me my pen!”
He clicked it closed with his thumb, “I found it where we hold Hellfire sessions, same pen that was used to write my love note.”
And just like that, your heartbeat seemed to stop all together, smile dropping instantly as you wished a giant hole could form in the ground below you and swallow you up.
“That’s not my pen,” you denied, shrugging off his jacket as you quickly rose to your feet. “I gotta go, bye, Eddie.”
When you saw him starting to hastily rise, you bolted, literally running back into the house to try to find Heather and get the hell out of there.
You heard Eddie frantically calling your name but you didn’t stop, forcing your way through the bodies as you desperately searched for your best friend.
Luck was finally on your side because you were soon smashed into her back by a passing group.
“Whoa,” she laughed, turning to steady you, “There you are, I’ve been searching for you everywh—hey, what’s wrong?”
You were sure she must have noticed the panic on your face, eyes shiny with tears you refused to let fall in public. 
“I wanna go home, we have to leave.” You grabbed her hand, pulling her into a secluded corner as your head darted in the direction of the front door. You wanted to make a run for it but you feared running into Eddie on the way.
“What happened?” Heather asked, voice initially soft before hardening as her protective nature came out, “Did someone do something?” 
You shook your head, chest heaving with your breaths. You were so close to having a panic attack. 
“Eddie. He knows. He knows, Heather.” And because she was your best friend, she understood, mouth and eyes going wide.
“Holy crap. Wait—isn’t this what you wanted?” 
“No—yes—I don’t know! I can’t face him!” There was a reason you hadn’t written your name down on the note, regardless of how badly you wanted to. You were just scared.
“Why not?” She bent down, leaned in closer to hear you. This girl and her twenty questions.
“It doesn’t matter, he didn’t want it to be me, anyways. He would’ve asked earlier, and he only did it now because of that stupid pen!” You should have kept your mouth shut and just gone to buy another over the weekend, “Can we just please get out of here? We can try the side gate in the backyard.”
“Is Eddie looking for you?”
“Yes, that’s why we have to leave!” Whatever Eddie had to say, you didn’t want to hear it. Yeah, maybe he could want you but if he didn’t, was searching for you to let you down gently you’d be heartbroken. 
“He knows and you don’t think he wanted it to be you?”
“Yes!”
“Then why would he be looking for you?”
You refused to answer her, pushing her towards the back door instead. She went willingly for a few steps, then Heather stopped and you bumped into her back again as she craned her neck to look over her shoulder. 
“I think it's too late for that.” She pointed at something behind you and you followed her finger. 
Eddie was standing on top of the kitchen table a bunch of guys had carried into the living room to play beer pong on, eyes searching the room with his lips set in a frown.
He was attracting attention, a multitude of heads turning to peer up at him in curiosity.
Oh, god. He was looking for you, you were probably going to get rejected at a fucking Valentine’s Day party in some stranger’s living room.
Eddie must have caught the attention of someone near the sound system because the volume of the music was lowered and you could hear everyone muttering amongst themselves, asking what had happened to the music before they noticed Eddie.
He glanced around, not even a little nervous at the amount of people staring at him. He hadn’t planned on making a huge show of it, figured they were all too drunk to pay him any attention, luckily he was used to being a spectacle. 
Eddie used it to his advantage, calling out your full name.
The crowd muttered, everyone looking at each other in confusion or maybe trying to catch sight of you. 
It wasn’t long before someone recognized you, head turning in your direction, followed by many more—a domino effect—until just about everyone was staring at you, including Eddie.
He hopped off the table and made his way towards you, crowd parting to allow him. Heather slipped her hand into yours at your side, giving you a reassuring squeeze before she too stepped away, leaving you to finally face Eddie.
Eddie didn’t look at anyone else, gaze trained solely on you.
“Hi, again.”
You blinked, unable to keep yourself from glancing at the crowd around you, curious—nosey—to see what would happen next.
Guess you were going to have to finally face reality, no more running. You didn’t think you could break through the crowd, anyways.
“Hi,” you whispered but you knew Eddie had heard you, his lips pursed into a smile, eyes lighting up when you didn’t shut down.
“You ran away before I could tell you how I feel.” Eddie took another step, pretty much invading your personal space but he was desperate to be close to you and maybe body block you in case you tried to flee. He didn’t want you to run away again, to disappear like he feared you had when you hadn’t left your name on the note.
“It’s only fair, right? Since I know?”
You nodded again, the drum of your heartbeat loud in your ears. You were surprised you could hear Eddie over it.
Eddie stared down at you, lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t look upset or frustrated. It looked like he was thinking about something.
Little did you know he was reciting the note in his head to give him some courage, he’d memorized it.
He didn’t leave you waiting for long. 
“I admire you. A lot.” Your breath hitched as the words you’d jotted down were repeated to you, “So much that I want to stand on expensive looking, antique tables and crash parties for you. I like the way you get animated when you talk, the way you give into your intrusive thoughts at the most random of times—yeah, I saw you trying to see if your finger fit in the pencil sharpener in the library once—I like how kind you are, even when people don’t deserve it. 
“I like how you’ve never made me feel ostracized, never made anybody feel like that and I like how dramatic you are—storming off, making an exit, falling flat on your face in hallways then staying there like a dead body before you decide to reanimate again once you’re done being embarrassed. I like how you beat up your locker when it won’t open and then you give it a couple of pats to apologize once it finally does.”
Eddie chuckled at those particular memories, having been thoroughly amused when watching you and you feel your face get hot at being the cause of his cute laugh.
“And I really like your face, your pretty eyes, all of this,” Eddie gestured to you, to all of you from head to toe, “… you’re beautiful. Although, I gotta say, you drove me really fucking crazy today. Made me feel emotions I didn’t know I was capable of feeling and you scared the shit out of me when I thought I’d never get to know who the person I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with is.”
Okay, maybe you didn’t want the ground to swallow you whole.
“I know we only have a couple of months left of school and you’re probably going off to continue being amazing at some college in some big city a million miles away—‘cause that’s my luck—but I’m willing to work with that. I want to drive those million miles to give you flowers and hold your hand, kiss you, listen to you complain about your bad days, hear you brag about your good ones, kill all the bugs you’re afraid of—even though some of them freak me out, you make me feel brave, too—and just be all around disgustingly domestic with you. 
“And yes, that includes all the not so fun domestic stuff like fights—which we’ll get over, I’ll do just about anything, even cave first, if you give me those big, coy eyes of yours—and taxes. I want to do it all with you. If you’ll have me.” Eddie ended, eyes wide and just a little out of breath. 
There it was. He’d thrown it all out there, everything he wanted to offer (because he wanted to give you everything, even though it kind of terrified him).
And you—you were just staring at him, left to gape at him since you’d expected… well, you hadn’t really known what to expect since you usually ran from the consequences—be they good or bad—of your actions. 
He wanted to be with you. Holy crap, Eddie Munson wanted to be your boyfriend. Wanted to do boyfriend things like visit you at college and hold your hand. You’d thought, the whole time, it had just been you observing him. You never thought he’d be observing you, too. It all sounded too good to be true, you couldn’t really think, couldn’t really form words.
You didn’t have to, Eddie grew anxious, maybe even a little impatient despite having decided the moment you’d run away from him in the front yard that he’d chase after you for as long as it took him to get you to give him a chance.
He found himself blurting out his strongest desire, “Can I kiss you?”
This was it, you were faced with another opportunity, and this one was the actual last opportunity you had to tell him how you feel, without any anonymity. No more hiding, no more running.
“Yeah,” you breathed out and he was on you before you’d even finished saying that singular word, his surprisingly soft lips pressing desperately against yours as his hands moved to frame your face, one of his thumbs stroking along your cheek.
Your eyelids fluttered shut as you returned the kiss and just like that, what he intended to be a simple but firm kiss, turned into your lips moving against each other, a little wet and enough to have Eddie want to pop his leg up like in the fucking movies.
The only reason he kept himself from introducing his tongue to yours like he so badly wanted to was the sounds of encouragement around him; cheering and hollering. You broke away, having also heard your peers whooping and wolf whistling, to hide your face in his chest, bashfulness returning full force.
Eddie laughed and kissed the top of your head, unable to contain his grin and joy. He definitely wasn’t used to this, more accustomed to jeering, not cheering. A couple of people even clapped him on the shoulder.
“You know what, I think they’re rooting for us, sweetheart.”
You pulled away just enough to look up at him, offering a small, pleased smile of your own.
“They’re not the only ones.”
Well, he had to give you some tongue for that one. The cheering and sounds of excitement got louder as he did.
—  You hadn’t walked into school hand in hand with Eddie when Monday came around—though you’d spent pretty much the entire weekend with him, driving around town, lounging around your room (he’d come in through your window) and making out—he hadn’t mentioned anything about meeting up in the parking lot and you weren’t offended in the slightest. While you wanted to see him, you appreciated the extra time to calm your excited nerves before you did. 
Heather ran up to you the second you made it to your locker, grin stretching from ear to ear. 
“I still can’t believe it. It didn’t even happen to me and I’m pinching myself because of how romantic it was!”
“Imagine how I feel,” You were all smiles as you turned the combination for your locker. But of course, since it was openly known as one of, if not, the shittiest of lockers in the school—having belonged to several wrestlers and football players before you, who’d evidently cared for it on the rough side—it didn't budge when you tugged at it.
You wouldn’t miss it when you graduated. 
With a sigh, you pulled the straps of your backpack off of your shoulders and handed it to Heather. Then, you yanked aggressively at the small locker handle. It was your routine though, so you knew it wouldn’t open then, either. It was only when you slammed your fist against it, after all the yanking, that it opened.
Roses immediately flooded out of it, piling onto the ground at your feet. You and Heather watched with open mouths, glancing at passersby, who also looked on in surprise, until your stuffed locker finally finished its floral avalanche.
“Like ‘em?”
You jumped up, and then internally scolded yourself for almost trampling a couple of your flowers. You carefully twisted around to face Eddie, who was leaning back against the row of lockers behind you, smug smirk on his handsome face.
“Yeah, what are all of these for?” You asked, still marveling at them as he pushed himself off the lockers to wrap his arms around your middle and press a kiss to the side of your head.
“I realized I never got to ask you to be my Valentine or give you flowers. So, I bought some Saturday morning,” They were on sale so he’d gone purposely overboard, “used my uncle’s collection of mugs as vases to keep them alive, then woke up at the asscrack of dawn this morning to get here before you did. I probably broke your locker even more, by the way. So, be my Valentine?”
“I’m pretty sure it was part of the terms and agreements of our relationship, but yes. I’ll be your Valentine.”
Eddie closed your locker for you, pressing his weight against it to make sure it was secure and no more roses would escape before he scooped up the ones that had fallen out, arranging them into a large bouquet which he handed to you, leaning in to give you a kiss.
You hummed happily against his lips, nose wrinkling in glee when you felt him smile.
Eddie let out a content sigh when you parted before glancing to his side at your gawking best friend.
“Hey, Heather.” Eddie wasn’t at all bothered by the audience. “Nice shoes.”
“Thanks! They’re new. You done sucking face?”
“For now,” he promised, then turned his attention back to you. “I’ll see you later, beautiful. I’ve got a test to barely pass. Gotta make sure I walk that stage with you.”
Eddie pinched your cheek, pressed another kiss to your forehead and rushed off down the hall. You’d barely locked eyes with Heather when Eddie came running back, taking your face in his hands as he muttered something about one more and gave you a kiss that had you a little shaky on your feet.
‘One more’ actually turned out to mean a couple more pecks before he really forced himself away, blowing you a kiss just as he disappeared around the corner.
“He’s whipped,” Heather stated.
“Pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.”
“That’s appropriate.” You both nodded before you turned to face your closed locker, arms full of sweet smelling roses. 
“. . .  You still need to get your books, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
Heather slid her arms through the straps of your backpack, over her front, so she could hold your flowers for you as you prepared to battle your locker again. It was totally worth it.
Eddie never ended up giving you your pen back, it’s the one he used to write love letters to you while you were away at college.  
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skittlesfics · 3 months
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something soft
Tumblr media
name: something soft
pairing: Joel Miller x gn!Reader
word count: 1212
summary: Settling down in Jackson has given you and Joel back a lot of things.
content/warnings: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, established relationship, Jackson!Joel, vague references to outbreak difficulties, unbetad
author's note: OMG, so I have been writing Joel fics/Pedro character fics for over a year now and have been too much of a coward to actually post anything. I decided to finally suck it up and join an event so that I was forced to post. This is a valentine for @beskarandblasters . Hope you enjoy! Happy Valentine's Day, y'all. -
Joel’s hand was warm where it wrapped around your ankle, his thumb stroking idly at the skin just below the joint as he turned to the next page of his book. It was a large-type Western that you had looted from an old library as a joke – but one that he became more appreciative of as the strain of years on alert made it harder and harder to focus on smaller script at night.
Many things were different now that you were settled into Jackson proper, but this was definitely one of your favorites.
Quiet moments out on the road meant that Joel was planning your next move or that all three of you were gathering energy for whatever horror was to come next. There was no space for leisure or relaxation in that quiet, even if there were rare moments of levity dappled into the shadows of survival. Here, though, in Jackson, you were both learning to let the quiet in.
Joel pushed his thumb into your ankle a little harder, just enough to pull you out of your reverie. Those memories were a dangerous path that you both had trodden too many times; He could see the spiral starting in your expression even before you knew it was there. When you lifted your eyes to meet his gaze, he smiled, sliding the bookmark Ellie had drawn for him as a Christmas gift into place. (Holidays were another thing that Jackson had given back to the three of you.) You let your eyes get drawn to the sketch of the astronaut floating over something that vaguely resembled the moon. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
“Got something to show you, if you’re amenable.” He said after setting the book down carefully on the fraying arm of the couch. His voice was rich and low, thick with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, his eyes seeking something in yours. If you didn’t know any better, you might have said that Joel Miller was nervous.
You couldn’t hold back your own soft smile, swinging one leg off of Joel’s lap in an attempt to sit up. He held onto your other ankle for a moment, tracing idle circles into your flesh with his thumb before realizing his error and releasing you.
You sat up and bookmarked your own novel. Well Read Mother Clucker is what yours said, with a drawing of what you supposed must be yourself as a chicken. “I suppose I’m amenable.” You answered, nudging his shoulder as you stretched to loosen your taught muscles.
He huffed, fond smile still crooked on his lips, and stood.
“You stay right here and close those pretty eyes. Give me a minute.” He commanded. He pushed himself up with an audible complaint from his knees, a soft grunt marking the effort in the motion that he had hidden from you for so long before Jackson. You bit back your giggle, letting him believe that the sound blended in with the staccato crackles from the wood in the fireplace.
With your eyes closed, you tried to map Joel’s path through the room. You could hear his footsteps leading away towards the kitchen, the board next to the dining table groaning in protest. He didn’t say it, but you could already hear his grumble. Gotta fix that come springtime. That was a new thing in Jackson as well, planning for the future in this one place. Building a home. The thought brought a warmth to your chest that distracted you from his next movements.
Firelight danced behind your eyelids, and you let yourself sink back into the couch, shifting into the pocket of warmth Joel had abandoned as you heard him open a cabinet door. It creaked only slightly – the China cabinet perhaps? You wondered if he had finally listened to your complaints about chipped plates and managed to loot something whole to eat off of. Or maybe he’d managed to find another bag of stale coffee out there somewhere to replenish your dwindling supply. Practicalities that felt like luxuries.
Joel didn’t leave you waiting long. You followed the path of his footsteps back to you, tilting your head towards him even with your eyes closed. He leaned in and pressed a soft, warm kiss against your forehead, reaching out to cup your cheek before straightening again and placing something on the coffee table in front of you with a heavy clunk. The plates then?
“You can open.” He said, sinking into the seat you had abandoned in pursuit of his warmth. “It’s not much, but…”
You weren’t sure if he trailed off or if your brain simply stopped processing sound as you opened your eyes to reveal a small red crock speckled with white and black spots. There was a clumsy ribbon tied out of strips of sun-bleached red fabric from God-knows-where around it, but inside. Delicate, carefully crafted roses were arranged in an explosion of natural wood tones. If it weren’t for the colors, they would have appeared lifelike, almost. You reached out, carefully stroking one of the petals. It was nearly translucent, but undoubtably wood. He had made them.
When you looked over at him it was through watery eyes. He was watching you, expression impassive, betrayed only by the slightest quirk at the edge of his mouth.
“You made these?” You asked, breathless.
“’s hard to get fresh flowers in February up here.” He explained with a shrug, like that explained it. Like it hadn’t taken hours of painstaking labor to shave each individual petal out of wood that he had cut down and prepared with his own hands. Like he hadn’t filled your heart to bursting.
He opened his arms and you slid into his lap, throwing your arms around his shoulders and squeezing tight, like he might try to get away. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as you rained kisses across his face, one large hand finding your hip and resting there, the other finding your chin to pull you in and kiss you properly. It was a slow kiss, soft and reverent, like he wanted to memorize the press of your lips against his, the soft sigh you let out against his mouth, the way your body relaxed into the warmth of him.
“They’re beautiful, Joel, they’re everything.” You whispered finally, dropping your head down to rest against his strong shoulder.
“They’re alright.” He deflected, cradling you against his chest, “Next Valentine’s Day, I’ll get you something nicer.”
It struck you then, the date. Another thing that Jackson had given back to you was a calendar to go by. You hadn’t gotten used to tracking the days as the passed yet, more focused on the weather than a number. But of course Joel would notice, especially after he saw what Christmas had done for you and for Ellie. Valentine’s Day here, after the end of the world.
You burrowed your face into the warm cotton of his shirt, knowing that he would feel the wetness of your happy tears against his chest and not caring. He held you there, pressing a kiss against the crown of your head. Something simple, something soft, something yours.
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peachybeom · 1 year
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Valentine Blues
Taehyun x reader
ex-best friends to lovers
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You were currently experiencing the worst day ever and were about one more tragedy away from having a breakdown.
Huffing violently you stood in the middle of an alleyway, watching your home route bus disappear with the main traffic.
Your phone beeped at the same time and you reached for it while taking rest on a wall nearby.
[10:51pm] Roomate.
Hey Y/n,
I just wanna thank you again for staying out tonight!! Because of you me and Josh can FINALLY enter the home base tonite and get extra juicy iykwim ;)))
Happy Valentines day babes!
Okay yeah now you can feel the breakdown coming.
You were so engrossed in storming all the libraries in town, looking for a specific book for your asshole Professor, to get him to reward you some extra credit, that you had conveniently forgot the stupid promise you had made to your roommate.
As much as you wanted to crash on the soft mattress of your bed and mute the world for rest of the weekend, you weren't desperate enough to walk into your roommate having sex with her co worker while roleplaying as a nurse.
In your peripheral vision, you could see couples huddled together, walking hand in hand. Some sharing an ice cream, others practically devouring each other with their intense stares.
Love was definitely in the air, and it made you nauseous. It wasn't that you were anti love or something, in the past you actually looked forward to this cliche holiday.
But recently you had managed to convince yourself that after several bitter breakups and unrequited crushes, being in a loving, healthy relationship seemed just impossible for you at this point.
Shaking your head, you pushed aside all the pointless worries and tried to focus on your current problem which was being homeless for the night.
You racked your brain to think which one of your crackhead friend would be available to offer you a lodging.
Kai? No. You knew he had plans with his girlfriend in her dorm to watch some random Disney movie and cry like a baby while she consoled him.
Soobin? Doubtful. His still had problems prioritising his girlfriend over odi, so that was a territory you didn't want to enter.
Beomgyu and Jeongin? Never. Those two would definitely be somewhere wasted in a club while they humped their way through another round of beer pong. They had actually tried to convince you for an entire week to join them at the club tonight and form a 'Singles Union', An association which helped each other to get laid. No way you were walking into that trap again.
That left you with Yeonjun- ehhhh. You actually had no idea what he was upto. Last time you heard from him, he was 'Single like a Pringle and definitely ready to Mingle'- his words not yours.
Sighing, you crossed your fingers as you dialled his number on your phone. Hopefully he could be your saving grace.
After a few rings he picked up the phone.
"Hey Junnie, I know it's kind of late and well.....Valentine's day but I really really need a favor from you," You said rushing your words. The cold weather was definitely peeking under your raging emotions.
"Oh hi Y/n, yeah sure what's up," Yeonjun replied, in a whisper.
"Yeah so I actually- I hear a woman's voice. Are you on a date?," You asked, cutting off your own words.
"Yes I am, but I can help you. What's the problem?" He answered.
To this you stifled a laugh. Choi Yeonjun on a date? The no strings attached Choi Yeonjun taking some lady out to have a nice dinner? This day was getting more trippy minute by minute.
"It's a speed dating thing. Now tell me what do you want, I don't have much time." Yeonjun said in an annoyed tone, taking the silence as a way of you teasing him.
Ah that makes so much more sense.
You almost felt bad for interrupting Yeonjun on his 'date' but you knew he was the only one who could save you right now.
So you told him about your problem.
"Hmmm you are aware that you can just crash at my place right? You already know where the key is kept, I won't be home for the night anyways" Yeonjun stated matter of factly.
Your ears perked up at his suggestion and you almost cursed yourself for not thinking about it earlier until a face flashed up in your mind.
"And what about Kang Taehyun?" You questioned grimly.
"Beggars can't be choosers Y/n. Besides it's not like he's the spawn of Satan." Your friends responded.
"But Yeonjun-,"
"Listen I have to go but consider this. It's not like you have any other option. Byee happy love day!" And then Yeonjun abruptly ended the call.
You groaned loudly and stomped your feet like a baby, earning glances from a few pedestrians. But you couldn't care less about them.
You started to weigh your options.
Spending a night at a run in shady motel full with horny couples or with your friend's roommate, the annoying, son of a gun- who also happened to be your ex bestfriend, Kang Taehyun.
After giving both of them intense thought. You decided to swallow your pride and take up Yeonjun's offer. Atleast his bed would be free of mysterious bodily fluids unlike the motel's.
After almost walking for half an hour- a consequence of missing the bus earlier, you finally reached Yeonjun's apartment.
Your feet were giving up on you and your teeth began to clatter lightly due to the cold February weather.
You could hear faint music from the other side of the door.
Great. Taehyun was home.
You weren't surprised though.
Even though you despised Taehyun, you decided to knock on the door instead of unlocking it out of common courtesy.
Nothing happened for a few moments and you knocked again. Still nothing.
Growing impatient you reached for the key and was about to use it when Taehyun opened it.
Correction: A very shirtless dripping wet Taehyun, with a towel around his waist opened the door.
"Lover boy isn't home tonight," Taehyun started with a stern tone. Oblivious to the fact that he was basically half nude standing in front of you.
"I-uh," You gulped, trying to compose yourself.
Taehyun is annoying and irritating and an asshole. His chiseled abs could not facade his shitty personality.
"Yeonjun said I could stay here tonight, Now move." You continued before making your way inside the apartment.
You did feel a bit intrusive and rude but your day had already been a mess and dealing with Kang Taehyun was icing on the cake.
Ignoring and engaging in minimum conversation with him was your goal.
Reminiscing the comfy feeling of a bed, you made a beeline for Yeonjun's room and turned the knob to open the door.
"What the fuck," A string of curse words left your mouth as you saw the room before you.
It was completely trashed and the stench of freshly applied paint almost made you dizzy.
"Yeonjun's room is being renovated, didn't he tell you that?" A voice mocked you from behind.
Taehyun was now leaning against the door frame -now fully dressed- and drying his hair with a hand towel.
You wanted to cry. You knew that this proposition was too good to be true. Breaking down over a trashed room was childish but anyone in your place would feel the same way. Everything was getting on your nerves.
There was no way you could sleep in the living room too, your fingers were already numb and your throat felt scratchy.
"I'm gonna kill him," You muttered under your breath before taking your bag and making your way to the exit only to be stopped by Taehyun midway.
"Hey I can't let you leave. Yeonjun would kill me, also not to forget you are sort of homeless aren't you?" He said raising a hand.
Your eyes widened. So he knew, great.
The last thing you wanted to be infront of him was vulnerable and embarrassed, but here you were.
As much as you hated to admit it, he was right you didn't have any other choice.
"So where will I sleep?" You asked raising an eyebrow, refusing to admit defeat.
"In there," Taehyun replied pointing to his bedroom.
"No way I'm sharing a bed with you. You pervert, " You answered him in disbelief.
But the thing was even though you hated Taehyun, you knew that he won't make a move on you without consent.
Deep down you still trusted him.
You, Yeonjun and Taehyun went way back. They were the first two people you ran into on your first day of college, when you were a naive, insecure friendless student. They were the ones who took you in and made you feel welcomed.
"Oh no, You'll take the floor," Taehyun answered bringing you back to reality.
What?
You stared at him blankly as he broke out in a fit of laughter.
"God it feels so good to have the upper hand," He continued.
Suddenly the thought of walking home alone and witnessing your roommate doing the dirty didn't phase you anymore.
So once more you picked your stuff and started walking towards the door when you felt Taehyun grab you wrist.
You'd had enough. Fuck avoiding him.
"What the hell do you want Taehyun. I've already had a crappy day as it is, spent my entire day searching a useless manuscript for that Professor dimwit, ran two fucking stations only to miss my bus home and walked here in this freezing weather with people sucking off each other's face all around me. So No, I don't have the energy to deal with your petty humiliations. Let go." You turned around lashing at him.
Your fists were bawled and your lips quivered. Taehyun always worked you up, he made you feel weak and vulnerable and you hated him for that.
Something changed in Taehyun's expression and his eyes softened. He loosened his hold on your wrist as you pulled it away from him.
"You can take the room. I didn't plan on sleeping there anyways, got some assignments to finish," Taehyun finally spoke up, his voice soft and laced with guilt.
You stared at him for a minute too long and then without saying another word you made your way to the room and shut it behind you.
You sunk down on the floor, once inside.
Grabbing a fistful of your hair you let out a shaky breath.
This wasn't fair. While the rest of the world was busy celebrating love and happiness with their significant others, you were left here moping in the bedroom of the boy, one you managed to successfully detach and despise in your mind for almost a year now.
The reason you were so hostile towards Taehyun wasn't because he was sort of pretentious or his face was too annoyingly perfect, it wasn't because he was so calm in situations where one shouldn't be.
The true reason was that Taehyun made you feel things that you would never allow yourself to feel.
Everything thing he used to do drove you wild. Made your heartbeat like crazy whenever he was around you, the touch of his hands, the small comforting smiles which adorned his face when your eyes met.
You were always rational with your love life, never reaching for places you couldn't but Taehyun was an exception.
He led you on, starred in all your hopeful fantasies and dreams but then left one day only to leave them shattered on the ground.
"Y/n I think you've got it wrong. It's best for us to remain friends don't you think? Best friends can't hurt each other,"
Except Taehyun was wrong. Best friends can hurt each other, they can leave scars which can take ages to heal. Those words still haunted you to this day.
He had rejected you that day.
But it wasn't the response that upset you the most, it was the shitty excuse he gave you, because the promise to remain friends was just as difficult. You could never look at him the same way again, the pain eventually grew into hatred and here you were now.
Holding back tears, you finally looked around the room. Nothing had changed since the last time you've been here, Taehyun had always been a pretty minimalistic person. Everything felt the same except for two photo frames which were placed on his bedside table.
You went up and examined the two pictures closely. One was of the day when Yeonjun, Taehyun and you decided to take a spontaneous road trip to your home town. A smile spread across your lips as you recalled the happy memories.
However it was the second picture which earned a gasp from you. In it, you were shoving a handful of Chocolates into Taehyun's mouth laughing while he looked at the camera with mischievous eyes, hands wrapped around your arms.
You couldn't understand why Taehyun would still keep this picture with him, nevertheless framed and on his bed side table.
Before you could think about anything else, you felt a knock on the door. Startled you dropped the frame on the bed and went ahead to open it.
Taehyun stood there in front of you, holding a jumper in his hands.
"I have to grab some books and here, I figured you would be cold," His expression still apologetic.
His hair was messy and a hint of sleepiness evident in his eyes.
You took the sweater from him and moved to the side to let him in.
Your heart skipped a beat when you brought the jumper closer to your face. It smelled like him.
"I'm sorry Y/n. I acted like an asshole earlier," Taehyun said minutes after, eyes still settled on his giant bookshelf.
For a moment you didn't know how to respond but then you spoke,
"I'm sorry too for lashing out on you, it's just today's been a pain in the ass for me,"
As you were speaking you realised, how much time it had been since the two of you spoke without bickering, let alone apologize to each other.
"I thought you'd probably be out tonight celebrating," He continued now looking at you.
You scoffed at this.
"My love life has been in shambles since forever," you replied letting out a pathetic laugh.
Since you.
"Same for me, if that makes anything better,"
Even though the three of you did not hang out together anymore. Yeonjun always used to give you updates on Taehyun's life even though you pretended not to care.
You had no idea where this conservation was leading. At any moment you could ask him to leave, but there was piece of you that wanted him to stay just like it did a year ago.
"Actually I- uh got something to give you, just a second," Taehyun said abruptly before leaving the room.
He exited the room in such a hurry that you didn't even have time to process what he said.
Something for you? What could it be? The thumping of your heart making it hard to concentrate on anything.
The door opened again and this time Taehyun returned with a mug in his hand.
He stood beside you next to the bed and placed the mug in your hands.
"What's this?" You asked him, puzzled.
"I know the circumstances aren't the best but I couldn't break the promise," Taehyun replied, his expression soft and a little embarrassed.
You still couldn't get it.
"I can't cook or bake to save my life so here's some hot chocolate instead....Happy Valentines Day Y/n."
That's when it hit you. A few years ago you and Taehyun had made a made a pact with each other, for every valentine's if either of you were single or sulky the other person's job would be to look out for them and cook them a 'comfort' food of their choice.
Taehyun remembered. Of course he did, that explains that picture he kept on his nightstand.
You were overwhelmed to say the least.
"Hopefully this makes everything just a bit better," Taehyun finished off.
That's when you heard your own sniffs and felt a tear running down your cheek.
Taehyun looked at you with a panicked expression as he sat beside you and opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.
"I can't do this anymore Taehyun, it's too unbearable. I did everything to get over this Despised you, avoided you but I'm just so weak. I'm pathetic," Even though your vision was blurry, you could still clearly see Taehyun's sculpted face in front of you.
It was pathetic really. The facade you managed to pull off for so long came undone the moment he confronted you.
Beomgyu and Jeongin would probably laugh their heads off and label you a loser if they ever got to know about this.
But Taehyun pulled you into a hug, his warm embrace enveloping the whole of you.
"Don't say that, I hurt you and it's my fault. I was a coward Y/n, I didn't want to ruin or complicate things but it only caused pain for both of us,"
He pulled back to face you.
"I know I can't ever make up for the things I said that day, but- fuck it I miss you. There are so many things I want to say that I couldn't back then but most importantly Y/n I- I love you."
Although your mind was an emotional mess. Hearing those three words from Taehyun made the butterflies in your stomach wild. The school girl crush, the giddy feeling you felt everytime Taehyun was near you returned.
"Same," you blurted out meekly not trusting yourself to form coherent sentences.
This earned a wide grin from Taehyun, giving a perfect view of his pearly white teeth and adorable eye whiskers.
He placed a hand on your cheek, wiping the tears and then leaned in dangerously close.
"May I?" He whispered against you lips and without thinking twice you smashed your them against his. This exact moment, you dreamt of it countless time. Being in Taehyun's arms was something you thought you could only see in your dreams. Actually you still weren't sure if this all was real or you were just lost in another dreamland. .
"I've missed you so much y/n oh my god" Taehyun breathed against your lips.
What eventually started soft and slow turned hot and steamy in a matter of seconds. Hands roaming all over and your entire body melting into his.
When Taehyun slipped his hands under your jumper to take it off you suddenly pulled away from him, breaking the kiss.
"What happened, did I do something wrong?" Taehyun asked with a worried look.
You shook your head quickly and pointed to the mug now placed on the nightstand.
"The hot chocolate will get cold," You replied.
Hearing this, Taehyun visibly relaxed and entwined his fingers with yours.
"I can make you a thousand cups of hot chocolate later but right now let's focus on us," He said in a deep voice, laying you down further on the bed.
"Am I really going to get laid with Kang Taehyun on fucking Valentine's day? Past us would be cringing so hard," You teased him further.
Taehyun replied by burying his face in your neck.
"Happy Valentines Day baby. Lets believe in love again."
The next day when you woke up to a naked Taehyun sleeping peacefully beside you. You had to pinch yourself to convince yourself that this wasn't a dream.
Never in a million years you thought such a disastrous day could have such a perfect ending.
Taking a sip of the cold chocolate milk from the night before, you started down at his beautiful face.
He gently stirred beside you, eyes opening slowly.
"Good morning, you're real" He speaks in a hoarse voice, eyelids still heavy with sleep.
"Yes Tyun, I am" You smiled at his cute state.
Taehyun pulled you closer to his side and whispered in your hair, "Did I tell you, you make all my problems go away"
"Speaking of problems-" You started but were cut off by the loud bang of a door opening.
"Hey Taehyun, Did Y/n come here- WHAT THE FUCK MY POOR EYES. DO YOU TWO NOT KNOW THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE" Yeonjun screamed covering his eyes.
You giggled at Yeonjun's mortifying reaction and slipped yourself deeper into the sheets.
"You're the one walking in without knocking, get the fuck out yeonjun" Taehyun screamed back, throwing a pillow at his direction.
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