#anyway I started a story expecting it to be maybe 10k words

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

So I’m finally writing about Finnick’s Games!

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Herbie (M) ~Bang Chan

Pairing: Mechanic!Chan x F.Reader Themes: Smut | Some Fluff | Strangers to Friends to Lovers Word Count: ~10k | AO3 Synopsis: Chris was the best mechanic you’d ever met. He was good at his craft, capable of bringing your dingy car back to life time and time again. He was, also, excellent at riling you up just by existing, which wasn’t the best when you were absolutely convinced he just wanted to be friends with you. But maybe, just maybe, he’d prove you wrong. [You can find part two here]. Warnings: curvy/chubby reader · reader is clueless · personification of an inanimate object (the car is referred to by name and male pronouns sometimes) · improper use of car related vocabulary probably (author is clueless on the topic, they don’t even know how to drive) · discussions of weight and usage of the word fat (in a very neutral manner) · Christopher is Stronk · special guest appearance: Jisung.

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Author’s Note: mechanic!chan was suggested by an “anon” (👀), after they watched this performance, and i felt inspired by the suggestion, so i decided to write a little something for it. a little something that somehow managed to gather more words than i ever expected, as usual. anyway, hope it doesn’t disappoint :^)

fun fact: i dreamt once that i wrote a fic called herbie, so i guess the prophecy has been fulfilled now.

Smut Warnings: the reader has an oral fixation · the reader has sexually charged thoughts (i can’t blame her) · pet names (baby, babe, gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, etc) · lots of praising (it’s a staple in my chan fics at this point, oops) · praise kink · strength kink if you squint? · oral [M&F.Rec] · deepthroating/mouth fucking · protected penetration [piv].

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Christopher Bang. 

The man who’d saved your ass countless times in the past handful of months. The man who’d been plaguing your thoughts since the very first moment you entered his repair shop.

And to think it was your older brother’s fault. ‘Get a second-hand car’, he said. ‘It’s cheap and super reliable’, he said. ‘Yes, of course it’ll be fine’, he said. Your brother was, ultimately, full of bullshit. You’d never trust his opinion ever again.

Getting a second-hand car was quite possibly the worst financial decision you’d ever taken.

At first you’d been incredibly excited. You even named it Herbie, after the famous car that was… Well, called Herbie. 

With Herbie, you’d be able to get to work faster, you’d no longer have to stay in uncomfortable social situations just because you were waiting for your ride for the night to take you home, you’d no longer have to balance grocery bags on your tiny bicycle, you’d be independent. 

For two months, you were living your best life with Herbie. But then he started showing The Signs.

It started with the AC not turning on, then, the wipers wouldn’t wipe, until eventually, he shut down completely. Which wouldn’t have been so bad, had it not happened while you were driving on the fucking highway. To say you were pissed was an understatement. That day, when that happened, you were fortunate enough to be with your friend, Jisung. 

Not only did Jisung calm your fit of rage, but he also told you he had a friend who fixed cars for a living. ‘He’s very reliable. He won’t overcharge you, really. I vouch for him, trust him with my life at this point’, which, honestly, finding a mechanic these days that wasn’t trying to find problems that weren’t there to overcharge you was hard, so you took Jisung’s advice and took Herbie to Wolfgang: Repair Shop.

That was where you saw Chris the first time.

You could still remember the exact moment your eyes landed on him. Although, to be fair, the first thing you saw were his boots peeking out from below a car.

“Hello?” You heard a thud after you greeted the pair of legs, followed by a very graceful ‘Fuck!’.

“Just one second!” He slid from under the car, and when he stood from the creeper, you honestly weren’t prepared.

Broad shoulders, strong, defined arms, a mess of curls on his head, plush, pink lips, and that nose. Jisung had forgotten to give you the most important detail about his friend, the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous. Even with the oil coating his exposed arms, hands, and the smudge on his cheek, he was probably one of the finest specimens you’d ever seen.

“Can I help you?” He smiled, and God, he had dimples, too. Of fucking course he had to have dimples…

“I’m–I–” You were embarrassing yourself, barely even capable of forming a coherent sentence, all as he looked at you with a glint of amusement in his eyes. So you got your bearings, taking a deep breath. “My car keeps dying on me. I’m a friend of Jisung’s, he told me to come to you”.

“Oh!” His eyes widened and he honestly looked beyond surprised. “You are Jisung’s friend?” There was a slight tone of disbelief in his voice, and the way he looked you up and down honestly confused you a bit. Was there a problem with your outfit? It was a bit warm out and this was a nice, comfortable dress… Maybe you were supposed to wear something different to a car repair shop? Maybe it was one of those social rules no one talked about but you were supposed to just know they existed. 

Regardless, you decided to ignore the thought altogether, because he started talking again. “I’m Chris. I’d offer my hand, but I don’t think you’d like to get yours covered in motor oil”, he chuckled, wiping his hands on a rag that hung from his belt, and it genuinely made you smile. “C’mon, let’s take a look at your car and see what we can do. Hm?”

That was how it all started. Chris was polite, he certainly knew his way around these things, and every time you had a problem with Herbie you went to his shop. At some point, you became well acquainted with him, it was impossible not to when Herbie kept dying practically every other week, and when Chris was just so friendly.

You enjoyed spending time at the shop with him, and sometimes you wondered if you were being weird or annoying by staying a bit longer than any customer probably would, but Chris seemed to be just as engaged in the conversation as you were every time, so that spark of doubt in you always died very quickly. 

After a couple of months, Chris simply handed you a piece of paper. ‘Here’s my number. Text me whenever you need’.

And you did. Although, you took a while to text him. You finally did it only because Herbie had started to leak water; after all, that was what he had given you his number for. But it seemed like after that Chris and you just… started to talk about other things, completely unrelated to Herbie.

“You slut, who you texting with that smile on your face? Did you finally get yourself a man?” Jisung teased you one day when you were hanging out with him, supposedly watching movies.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “As if. You know the only thing I attract are mosquitoes, and it’s only because they want to suck my blood. It’s just Chris. He sent me this funny video of Wolfgang, wanna see?”

Wolfgang was Chris’ dog, an overly excited husky that seemed to be a walking disaster. You told Chris once in passing that you liked dogs, that it cheered you up whenever you saw them do their Dog Things, and since then he started to send you pictures or videos of his dog regularly, which you highly appreciated, they did bring up your mood every time.

Jisung blinked at you. “Christopher Bang? My friend Chris?”

“Yeah? Which other Chris do we both know?” You returned your eyes to your phone, chuckling at a meme Chris had just sent you.

“What’s he sending you? Lemme see”, Jisung grabbed your phone out of your hands, ignoring your protests altogether. “Huh… Would you look at that…”

“Why are you scrolling? Stop that, it’s a private conversation”, you lunged at your friend, trying to get the phone out of his hands. After a bit of jostling he finally relented, and you huffed as you diverted your attention back to the chat with Chris.

Jisung called your name, and you looked up from your phone to your friend, seeing his confused face. “You… You do know he’s flirting with you, right?”

“What?” You laughed at that. “Don’t be ridiculous”.

“I’m being serious”, Jisung turned to face you fully on the sofa, looking at your face very intently. He was quiet for a moment, but then he was gasping–rather dramatically, if you might add. “Oh my God! You haven’t noticed!”

“There’s nothing to notice, Jisung. Chris isn’t flirting with me, don’t be silly”, you chuckled just at the thought. As if the Christopher Bang would be flirting with you.

“You seriously can’t be this dense”, Jisung scoffed, turning back to the movie. “You do you, then. I’m telling you, though. He’s one hundred percent flirting with you”.

How ludicrous. Chris had shown zero interest in you for as long as you’d known him. You were sure he only saw you as a friend at best, and that was only because you were on ‘sending memes’ basis now, before you were just his customer with the dingy car that kept needing repairs. 

You’d admit, though, that after a handful of months, Chris had become a really close friend. He’d text you every morning without fail. Most of the time, he’d send you a picture while he was walking his dog. It could be a picture of Wolfgang, or a picture of the sunrise, or a selfie–those were the hardest ones to look at, to be honest. 

At some point, you realised you had developed a crush on him, and looking at his face in those selfies, still a bit swollen with sleep, with his hair a bit tousled, or with a beanie over his head covering his eyebrows, looking incredibly cuddly, wasn’t helping you cope much.

Sometimes he’d text you while he was in the gym, too. Which would’ve been fine, had he not also started to send you selfies when he was there. They were never anything too revealing, he’d always be fully clothed, but the sight of his reddened hands, his bulging veins after lifting, his flushed face, and just overall sweaty form was just something you didn’t need. It always heated you up, made you suddenly feel like your mouth was just too empty, it’d made your mind wander into very dangerous, and very horny territory. 

It was already hard enough to watch Chris work on Herbie. Whenever he did and you were at the shop, you’d start to fixate on the way the muscles of his exposed arms moved, or how his ass looked when he was bending over the motor to do whichever magic he needed to do, it always made you wonder if he’d be able to perform that magic on you, if his hands would touch you as delicately but as precisely as they did with Herbie’s components, or how it’d be like if you were the one bending over the bonnet, preferably with him just right behind you… Regardless, seeing him also at the gym through his pictures was just too much. He’d sometimes ask you weird questions while he was there, too, which always left you a bit confused.

‘mind if i ask what’s your weight? you dont have to tell me if you dont want to, i’m just curious. i’m trying to bulk up, you see. mine’s…’ You didn’t particularly have a problem with the question itself, you just found it odd that he asked you that out of the blue, and for a brief moment you wondered if he’d been trying to say you were fat–which wouldn’t have been the first time that happened to you, having lived most of your life as person with extra fat on their body for what was considered ideal in this society’s standards had already numbed you to questions like these.

You hadn’t told him right away, you simply sent him a ‘why? are you gonna tell me to lose weight? lol’ to which he replied a string of messages in quick succession ‘oh god no. far from that, you’re perfect just as you are honestly. i’m just curious cuz i want to get to…’ He’d go on about his goals and what-not, and you decided to humour him, since it genuinely didn’t seem like he was trying to make fun of you, he actually never brought up the topic again after that.

Chris wasn’t just handsome, he was also cute, and a bit of a dork. A dork with extensive knowledge in cars and each of their components, but with even more extensive knowledge in pokemon and each and every single type.

‘Ice is strong against dragon and ground, you see? So I have to fight this Garchomp with a pokemon that can do ice attacks, but that can also withstand his attacks, like Gyarados, you know?’ The first time Chris pulled an explanation like that, while he was still covered in Herbie’s oil, you understood why he was friends with Jisung. They were both just dorks. Gym rats and dorks. The oddest combination you could possibly think of, but somehow it just added to their charm. To Chris’ charm specifically.

That balance of his technical knowledge, his hotness, and his dorkness, coupled with just how good of a person he genuinely was–always willing to help, always ready to stand his ground for things he believed in–only made you fall stupidly deeper for him. But you decided to keep these feelings to yourself, you liked having Chris by your side, not only because he was the only one who seemed to be able to bring Herbie back to life, but also because he was just a good friend, and you were sure that if you confessed your feelings things just wouldn’t be the same.

Taking Herbie out these days was always a gamble. You never knew when he was going to break down, but sometimes you really had to take a leap of faith. Most of the time it all went fine, but today, it seemed like he wasn’t in a mood to cooperate. Herbie had decided that breaking down in the middle of nowhere at twenty hours on a Friday was the best idea, which left you on the brink of frustrated, angry tears. 

So, obviously, you called the only person you knew could help you in this situation.

“You alright?” Chris asked as soon as he arrived and stood in front of where you were leaning on your car. “Oh, God. Are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“I’m just so fucking done with this car”, you brought your hands to your face, sobbing once the frustration that had built inside of you couldn’t be contained anymore.

“Hey…” You felt Chris’ body heat practically envelop you when he moved into your space, and, had you not been crying like a baby, you’d probably feel a bit flustered about it. “Are you– Can I– Do you want a hug?”

You just nodded–still covering your face with your hands–because of course you wanted a hug. You were trembling with your quiet sobs, so a hug sounded like absolute heaven at this moment, and when Chris finally leaned in closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you to him, the fact that Herbie had left you stranded in the middle of nowhere seemed so insignificant now.

Chris was so incredibly warm. The way he softly caressed your back helped ease your trembles, and, eventually, the tears stopped, too. So you finally moved your hands away from your face, bringing your arms around his waist to hug him as well, just as you buried your face on his shoulder–probably leaving small puddles of tears on the fabric of his boilersuit.

That was when you noticed his attire. Similar to how he dressed when he was at the shop, but clearly completely clean. His boilersuit even smelt like his fabric softener still, and… was he wearing perfume?

You pulled yourself a bit from him, and his calloused hands cradled your face immediately to wipe your tears with his thumbs. You could feel heat spread on your cheeks as he did.

Chris was so close to you still, the heat of his palm on your cheeks seeped into you, shooting straight to your fluttering heart. He truly was incredibly handsome, and as you looked him in the eyes the words left your mouth before you could even think twice about them.

“Wow. Your eyelashes are so pretty”.

A look of surprise crossed Chris’ features, and you saw his Adam’s apple bob, right before he pulled his hands away from your face and opened the driver’s door of your car, giggling. Giggling in that utterly Christopher way he always did.

“Well, yours are, too”, he said while he pulled the lever near the wheel to release the safety latch so he could open the bonnet of your car.

For a moment, you could’ve sworn his ears were red, and you wondered briefly if he might’ve been feeling warm with his boilersuit on, since it was warm tonight, which was why you had decided to wear a dress in the first place. “Were you at the shop when I called?”

“Was on my way”, Chris rounded your car, finally standing in front of it and opening the bonnet. “Ahh, Herbie. You’d certainly seen better days, haven’t you, buddy?” He took his phone from his pocket, switched on the torch, and handed it to you. “Could you hold this for me? Please?”

“Why were you going to the shop this late?” You asked as you pointed the light towards Herbie’s insides.

“Was gonna work on the bike. Angle this a bit, please”, Chris took your hand, angling it however he needed it so he could see whatever it was he needed to see–for you he might as well had been doing dark magic on your car. You saw him push cables around like he knew what each of them was for, which he surely did, this was his livelihood, after all, but it all just looked the same to you, so you were immensely relieved that he was able to help you out tonight.

“You fix cars all day and still have the drive to work on your bike in the evening?” You chuckled, just as Chris moved your hand to point the light somewhere else.

“You’d be surprised how much drive I can have when I’m doing something I like”, there was a smile on his face as he said it, and honestly you couldn’t help but believe him. Just like you couldn’t help but wonder what else he could like that’d fuel that drive of his… “Alright, we’re gonna have to jumpstart it. Gimme a sec”.

Chris left your side for a moment, and he returned almost immediately after with a jumper cable in his hands. Once he had attached it to his 4X4’s and Herbie’s battery, he instructed you to go back to the driver’s seat and to turn the ignition at his signal.

You did as asked, and as soon as you did Herbie came back to life, making you heave a sigh of relief. Chris appeared by your door a few seconds after. “Let’s go to the shop, yeah? I don’t think he’ll make it much further, to be honest”.

And honestly, you didn’t think your car would make it far, either. So you followed Chris’ 4X4 out of the area and through the familiar roads to his repair shop. You couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful, not only because he was helping you now, but because he always did it. Whenever you’d needed him, he’d always been there, which did nothing to appease the ever growing feelings you had for him.

When you made it to Chris’ shop, he simply opened the gate to the garage and signalled you to come in. You got off your car as soon as it was parked, just as Chris was unzipping his boilersuit, revealing his black vest top underneath and his admittedly mouthwatering arms as he tied the top part of the garment around his waist.

“Thank you, Chris. Really”, you told him as soon as he stood in front of you, handing him Herbie’s keys when he opened his palm.

“Oh, please”, he waved his hand as if to dismiss the thought, as if what he did was something not even worth thanking him for. “I’m glad you called, I would’ve felt really bad if I couldn’t have helped you with this”, he gave you a smile, one of his blinding smiles that made his dimples appear on his cheeks and his eyes disappear, and you suddenly felt your cheeks warm up and like your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

Chris made sure to place a wedge behind each of Herbie’s wheels just so the car was secure in place, and then turned to you. “Come with me”.

He guided you to the sink by the corner of the shop. Pumping some soap into his hands and opening the tap, he started to generously lather the suds all over his hands. 

“Come here, you need to wash your hands, too”, Chris took your hands in his, getting them all soapy, making sure to spread the soap between each of your fingers, going as far as to rub your hands between his, or lace his fingers with yours to fulfil the task.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Chris, I didn’t touch anything”.

“You sure?” He chuckled, but his motions didn’t stop. “It’s better to be safe than sorry, no?”

“I guess”, you didn’t think your cheeks could’ve felt any hotter. You seriously hoped it wasn’t that noticeable.

After thoroughly rinsing your hands under the tap, he gave you a clean rag to dry them on just as he motioned for you to follow him again. So you did, walking past his half restored bike and into his office.

Chris placed Herbie’s keys on the designated case that corresponded to the number in which you had parked your car, and then turned to the minifridge. “You want a soda?”

“Sure”, you took the glass bottle from him as soon as he opened it and handed it to you. You always found it odd that he had glass bottles and not cans, considering how little space he had in that fridge. When you asked him about it once Chris simply went on about how ‘Cans just don’t taste the same! The soda tastes so much better when it’s drunk from a bottle’, and as soon as he said that you just couldn’t untaste it anymore. Glass bottles were, ultimately, superior.

“‘Suppose I’ll get an uber”, you sighed after you took a sip of your drink, walking a bit so you could lean against the wall.

“An uber? Nonsense, I’ll drive you home, don’t worry”, Chris took a sip of his drink, just as he leaned on his desk.

“Aw, c’mon. You already went out of your way to rescue me. I don’t wanna take more of your time”.

Chris scoffed. “Don’t make me beg”.

“I wouldn’t dare”, you chuckled, although you were suddenly curious of what would happen if you did make him beg… “But what about your bike?”

“The bike won’t be ready anytime soon. The only reason I was coming here was because I was restless at home. Now I’d much rather spend some time with you, to be honest”, Chris took a sip of his drink again, and suddenly holding his gaze felt like too much, but the way your eyes decided to focus on his Adam’s apple moving with every sip he took wasn’t that much easier.

“You know…” Chris said after a few moments of silence, pulling your eyes back up from where they had been glued to his neck. “I think it might be time for you to consider letting Herbie go. It’s been months, and I honestly don’t think I can save him”.

You sighed. “I know… But I fear I’ve grown attached to the damned thing. Besides, wouldn’t you lose your most regular customer?” You added the last part with a chuckle, taking a sip of your drink right after.

Chris chuckled. “So you’re saying you only talk to me ‘cause of Herbie?”

You almost choked on your drink. “N–no. Of course not. You’re a good friend, Chris. Truly”. 

He placed his drink on the desk, and a smirk made its way onto his face. “Just a good friend?”

“Uhh… A great friend?” You laughed softly, drinking some more of your soda.

Chris went silent for a moment. As you saw him worry at his bottom lip and looking anywhere but where you were standing, you wondered if you had said something wrong. That was, until he chuckled.

“I don’t think I’m a good friend, to be honest”, he crossed his arms over his chest, bouncing his leg a bit. “Good friends don’t secretly hope for their friend’s car to break down so they’d call them for help”. 

You were just bringing your bottle to your lips, but his words made you stop in your tracks. “What?”

Chris looked at you for a moment. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but then he was tipping his head to the side and laughing. “God, I seriously didn’t believe Jisung at first, but you really are dense for some things, aren’t you?” 

“I am… so confused right now”.

Chris shook his head a bit, and he walked closer to you. “Let me tell you a secret…” He got into your space, close enough that you could smell his perfume, and the proximity made you swallow the saliva that seemed to have suddenly pooled in your mouth. Leaning into you, he brought his mouth to your ear, whispering. “I really, really like you”.

You blinked, and you honestly felt like your brain had short-circuited. “You… What?”

No way was Christopher Bang telling you he liked you. There was just no way. You would’ve noticed… You would’ve, right? You definitely would’ve… Wouldn’t have you noticed?

Suddenly you remembered Jisung. How he’d tried to tell you multiple times throughout the past few months that Chris was flirting with you, that you should shoot your shot, but you honestly had never believed him, because it seemed just so ridiculous to you that Chris could even look at you in that light.

“I’ve, uh… liked you for a while. A long, long while”, Chris pulled himself away from your space completely, and he looked at your face for a moment. A moment that you stayed completely silent, still trying to process the fact that Chris liked you… And for a while now.

You saw his brows furrow as he chewed on his bottom lip. Then he was speaking again. “I just… couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore. When we hugged earlier I realised I wanted to do that more, and that I should probably grow a pair and tell you already. I’d like to take you on a date, if you want, but I can understand if you don’t want to…”

He was rambling. A lot. Saying a lot of things. This was the Nervous Chris you’d only seen a couple of times, the Nervous Chris whose coping mechanism was just to jump to conclusions and talk in a single breath. Suddenly, it all seemed to click into place. The good morning texts, the selfies, the late night talks at the shop after Herbie had died on you time and time again, it was so clear to you now.

“If you don’t like me back that’s fine, you can just say so, I won’t take it to hear–”

You kissed him.

It was barely anything. Just a peck on the lips, but it was enough to shut him up, enough to make his eyes go wide in surprise, and, to your own selfish delight, enough to bring a delicate blush to his cheeks.

“I like you, too”, you said simply, still a bit shocked by his confession, a bit shocked by your confession coming out of your own mouth. You honestly never thought you’d be able to say that to him out loud, but you did. Just like he had.

Chris looked stunned for a bit. But that stunned look didn’t last long, it quickly turned to something else, something raw and incredibly alluring. Stepping into your space again, he brought a hand to the back of your head, holding you in place just as his other hand took the bottle from your hands to place it on the tool cart next to you, right as his lips found yours.

This kiss was nothing like the peck you’d given him. It was loaded with need and want and lust. So much of all of it you couldn’t even believe how blind you’d been. Every press of his lips against yours kindled the fire that started to burn in the pit of your stomach. When his hand joined the other cradling your head, you just couldn’t help the small whimper that came out of your mouth, and that tiny noise seemed to have spurred Chris on, enough to press you flush against the wall as his tongue made its way inside your mouth, as your arms wrapped around his waist.

Heat was spreading quickly inside of you, and you were starting to feel lightheaded–whether it was due to the shock, or due to how Chris was pressing you against the wall, or due to the motions of his kiss and the lack of oxygen, you weren’t too sure. One of your hands laid palm flat on the small of his back, while the other pressed between his shoulder blades, and the hum that came out of his mouth seemed to have travelled all the way to your heart, making it beat even faster in your chest.

Chris detached his mouth from yours, only for a moment, enough to talk. “Does this mean…” He pressed another kiss on your lips. “That you’d like…” And another. “To go on a date?” This kiss lasted a bit longer than the others, it lasted until you nodded your head.

“Yes”, you pressed a kiss on his lips, just as your arms moved to loop around his neck and his wrapped around your waist, keeping you impossibly closer to him. “Would love to”.

He hummed again, and he immediately resumed the soft movement of his lips on yours. Keeping you tight against him for a while. Until it seemed like his brain had caught up with him. 

“We should probably stop”, but he didn’t stop kissing you, just like you didn’t, either. You just couldn’t get enough of his full lips on yours, of his tongue pushing against yours.

“Do you want to?” Your fingers made their way through the curls at the back of his head, holding the strands between them just how you’d dreamt to do so many times throughout the past handful of months.

“God, no”, and you believed him, not only because of how desperate he sounded when he said it, but also because he just kept kissing you, talking in between quick pecks of his lips. “But I don’t want… to make it seem… like this is all I want… You know?”

You knew. You knew because you were thinking exactly the same thing. You could feel him against your pubic bone, hard, warm, and it all made you incredibly wet, maybe embarrassingly so. But this was Chris, it was hard to feel embarrassed with him, which was part of the reason why you had developed feelings for him in the first place.

You hummed, just to let him know that you understood what he was trying to say without removing your lips from his. As you kissed him, as you felt him and his warmth, your mind started to cloud a bit. The mix of his motions, of the months and months of pining for him, and the even more months of self-inflicted celibacy clearly made it so logical thinking wasn’t your strongest attribute at this time.

“Would you still… take me on a date… if I sucked you off right now?” The words flew past your mouth between kisses, too fast for you to even think twice and stop them.

“Shit…” Chris pulled himself away from your lips completely, looking you in the eyes. As you took in the flush on his face, his plush, kiss-bitten lips, and his blown pupils, you couldn’t help but think just how incredibly beautiful he looked like this. “Are you being serious?”

“Dead serious”, your chest was heaving, and your fingers carded through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp with your nails, making Chris bite his lip and take a deep breath.

“Of course I would. I’d take you to the fucking moon even if I got it wet right now”.

You chuckled at that, and pressed a brief kiss on his lips. “A date is enough, babe”.

“Babe, huh?” Chris took a deep breath, just as you pushed him away from you a bit, enough to have space so you could drop to your knees, uncaring of your bare skin touching the floor. All you could care about was the outline of his length against his clothes when you pressed your hand on it.

“Sorry, you don’t like ‘babe’?” You looked up at him, right in the eyes, just as you untied the sleeves of his boilersuit from around his waist.

“I like it a lot, actually”, there was a bit of a smug smirk on his face, and it had you licking your lips.

Just as you were about to pull the bottom of his suit further down, he brought a hand to one of yours, diverting your eyes back up to his. His gaze had softened, and the smile on his face coupled with that look in his eyes made you flush further. “You don’t have to, seriously. Don’t feel obligated to do it”.

“I don’t”, you reassured him. “I want to do it. Badly. But only if you want it, too”.

“Fuck… I do. So bad”, he licked his lips, and he moved his hand away from yours to place it on your head instead. “You’ve got no idea how much, shit…”

So you resumed your motions, tugging his bottoms along with his underwear, enough for his length to spring free of its confinements. You weren’t surprised with the sight, honestly. A pretty face like his surely came with a pretty cock, too. So of fucking course it was pretty, especially so as precum pooled at its tip, especially when it looked just so delectably hard. It was a bit on the girthier side, but nothing too crazy, nothing you couldn’t handle. If anything, it just made your mouth water, and you licked your lips in anticipation.

“Shit…” You took him in your hand, spreading around the bead of precum that had collected on his tip to give him a couple of tentative pumps, making him swear under his breath and bite his bottom lip. “How do you like it?”

“Fuck… sloppy. Make it as wet as you can, the messier the better”, the words flew past his lips, completely shamelessly, almost as if he didn’t even need to think about them. Chris seemed to be transfixed on the sight of your hand working his length, and you took that opportunity to spit on it, making him groan while you started to coat him in your saliva.

So you delayed no further, dying for a taste, and a taste you got. As soon as your lips wrapped around his tip Chris swore. Loudly. He threw his head back and his fingers seemed to tighten a bit on your head, but he didn’t move you, he let you keep the pace as you saw fit. You started slow, holding him by the base and just bobbing your head for your lips to repeatedly catch on the ridge of his head and for your tongue to rub against the frenulum on the underside, taking him deeper into your mouth with every other stroke.

The moment you opened your eyes and your gaze found his, your inner walls involuntarily clenched around nothing, and suddenly you felt like you needed some relief. But you ultimately decided to keep your focus on Chris, on his lustful gaze, on his furrowed brows, on his gentle hold on your head, and the grunts and groans threatening to come out of his mouth, dampened by the way his teeth trapped his bottom lip.

He wanted it messy and sloppy, so you were ready to give it to him messy and sloppy. It’d been a while since you’d done this, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try. With a deep breath, you took him in deeper, breaching past the initial resistance for him to ease into your throat.

“Oh, fuck… You’re kidding… Shit…” Chris threw his head back, letting the most delicious noises out of his mouth, almost making you lightheaded with how aroused his heavy cock in your mouth coupled with his blissed out sounds got you.

You took your time slurping him up, uncaring if saliva dribbled out of your mouth as you worked against your gag reflex, feeling tears quickly collect in the corner of your eyes. When you felt confident enough with your motions, you brought your hand to his that held your head in place, while you placed the other on his hip, holding him tightly. 

“You want me to move, pretty? Fuck your perfect little mouth?” You nodded in response, humming around his length.

Slowly, he started to thrust into your mouth. Chris was being extremely careful, being mindful of every controlled push of his hips, but even with his slow pace, you couldn’t help but moan as soon as he started moving, making him groan in response. That was when you finally gave into your own desires, moving your hand away from his that lay on your head to bring it under your dress so you could press circles on your clit over your underwear, eliciting broken whimpers from your mouth.

“Shit, look at you…” Chris looked fucked out of his mind already, with his heaving chest and the increasing pace of his hips. You were sure you weren’t looking any more collected than he was, especially when you started to feel tears finally fall from the corner of your eyes every time you blinked.

With one particularly precise thrust of his hips, Chris’ length went in further than you were used to, essentially choking you on his cock, making you gag harshly. Chris pulled his length out of your mouth, and you gasped for air immediately.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, so fucking good with that mouth… Come here, beautiful”, Chris helped you to your feet, wrapping his arms around your waist once you were standing on your feet and pressing kisses all over your cheeks. You were still panting a bit, flushed from exertion, but Chris kissed you anyway, and you kissed him back, holding onto his shoulders for dear life. “Need to taste you”, he mumbled between pecks of his lips. “Please, please, please let me eat you out”.

You just nodded, very eagerly if you might add. But you honestly couldn’t find it in you to be embarrassed about it, not when Chris begged so fervently for it. Just the thought of seeing him between your legs had you already clenching with need.

While you kissed, Chris removed his arms from your waist. You felt him fumble with his underwear and his boilersuit, hastily wrapping it around his waist, and before you could even register what he was doing, he was taking a hold of your ass and scooping you into his arms.

“Chris, fuck, wait. I’m heavy as hell”, you were slightly alarmed, but your legs wrapped around his waist for stability anyway just as you held onto his shoulders.

“Heavy?” Chris chuckled, moving towards his desk. “Baby, I can lift almost thrice your weight”.

“You, what?” You asked, a bit confused–and also aroused, because, fuck, how strong was this man…–Chris pushed away some of the items on his desk to sit you on it, close to the edge. After all the revelations that had come to light earlier, it finally dawned on you. “Is that… why you asked what my weight was all those months ago?”

“Of course! Needed to make sure that if I ever got a chance I was able to do everything I wanted”, he dropped to his knees, starting to press tender kisses up your shins. “Must admit I had to stop whole hip thrust sets sometimes because I’d get so fucking hard halfway through, fuck”.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, a hearty, and slightly incredulous laugh. “Holy shit. I genuinely thought you would tell me I had to lose weight at some point”.

“What? I’d never”, Chris chuckled, bringing his hands to your thighs, squeezing them. “I mean, it’s your body, you can do whatever you want, but know that I find you incredibly attractive however you look”, he moved his hands further up, right under the hem of your dress to finally hook his fingers on the waistband of your underwear. “Can I take these off, gorgeous?”

“Yes”, you giggled, feeling yourself heating up further just by his words and the feeling of his hands on your skin. With your hands on the desk you lifted your hips enough for him to slip the garment down your legs and off of you. He threw your underwear on the desk, and they landed somewhere behind you.

Bringing his hands back to your thighs, Chris rubbed circles with his thumbs for a second, only to finally move them further up, catching the hem of your dress and bringing it with him as he went. You chewed on your bottom lip, feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden. That was, until he finally pushed your legs apart. With the way he swore under his breath and the way his eyes seemed to get impossibly darker as soon as he took sight of your seeping core, any nervousness seemed to have been obliterated, and you couldn’t help but feel just so incredibly wanted.

“Fuck… Even here, huh?” He threw your legs over his shoulders, and you felt yourself heat up in anticipation. “Plump, pretty… Shit…”

Desire pooled in the pit of your stomach, it was honestly almost pathetic how affected you felt just by the things he was saying and the sight of him between your legs.

“You know…” Chris pressed his lips to your inner thigh, sucking harshly, leaving marks on your skin, making you inhale a shaky breath. “This is the exact same dress you were wearing the first time you came into my shop”.

Your eyes widened a bit in surprise. “You remember what I was wearing?”

“Hm, ‘course I do”, he moved his attention back to your eyes, just as he pressed a chaste kiss on your inner thigh. “I’ve been dreaming of you in this fucking dress for months, baby…”

“You have?”

“I have”, one of his hands came to grip your thigh, while the other moved to your hip, giving you a hefty squeeze. “How do you like it, pretty? Or how do you not like it, for that matter?”

You licked your lips, suddenly transfixed by the sight of his lips brushing your skin. “Gentle sucks go a long way. I’m a bit, uh… sensitive”.

“Sensitive, huh? ‘Course you are… Hold this for me, hm?” He took a hold of your hand and brought it to one of your thighs, just as he spread you open further, propping your foot on the desk. So you did as asked, keeping your legs open as he diverted his attention back to your heat. “Good girl… Just like that…”

As soon as he spread you with two of his fingers, and he dived, landing soft, tentative licks on your clit, you knew you were done for. Your whole body jolted a bit, and a soft whimper escaped your mouth. “Oh, fuck…”

Chris just hummed, moving to lick at your entrance, getting a taste of your essence with his brows pulled together, looking just so fucking delighted. Just the thought that he was genuinely enjoying himself got you moaning a bit louder under the quickening movements of his tongue, and as soon as his lips pressed on your clit, giving you those gentle sucks you had asked for, your mind just disconnected completely.

He took his time working you up, turning you to a whimpering mess just with his lips and his tongue, gradually increasing his tempo to build your upcoming release. Whenever he dipped lower to lick at your entrance, his nose would bump your clit with every movement of his head, he was essentially making out with your cunt and you would gladly let him do whatever and however he wanted. Your nerve endings were on fire, your toes curled with need, and your walls clenched with his unrelenting pace.

When he detached his mouth from your core you almost wanted to cry, but he only did it for a second, enough to ask a “Fingers, baby?” only to press his lips to your sensitive skin again, sucking your clit into his mouth and licking it with his tongue.

You weren’t sure if the ‘Yes’ actually came out of your mouth, you vaguely only registered your eager nodding and the soft moan that escaped your lips as soon as you felt one of his digits at your entrance. Chris groaned against your skin as soon as he inserted the first finger to the knuckle, the vibration of the sound further fueling that fire in the pit of your stomach. He pumped his finger in tandem with his tongue on your clit, touching and prodding and gauging your reactions to his every move.

One particularly sharp nudge of his finger on your walls had you moaning a bit louder than you were before, and Chris seemed to have picked it up immediately, because he plunged a second finger right after and started pumping his digits in and out, hitting that sweet spot over and over while his lips gently sucked on your clit. You needed to have a hand on the desk to keep yourself up, to maintain some stability, so you shuffled your foot a bit and simply let go of your thigh to bring the hand that was holding it to his head, burying your fingers in his hair and pushing him further against you with a whimper.

Chris groaned as soon as your fingers threaded through his hair, immediately picking up the pace of his fingers and his tongue, bringing you further and further towards the edge, and God if you needed to tip over that edge… With how well he was working you up you felt your lower belly tighten with exertion, and your walls spasm more frequently around his fingers.

“Chris… Fuck, fuck, I’m so fucking close, please–” You almost choked with the moan that came out of your mouth after you spoke, since Chris immediately started ramming his fingers into you harder, faster, just as his plush, now swollen lips kept sucking that sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs.

He was absolutely determined to give you your relief, and as soon as you were able to open your eyes and look at him, the look in his eyes, lustful, greedy, was enough to finally push you over the edge. Searing heat spread all over your body with your release, pure pleasure overflowed each and every one of your senses, making you perceive nothing but Chris, Chris, Chris, and his lips between your legs, and his hair between your fingers, and his fingers inside of you.

Chris’ motions didn’t relent until you were thoroughly satisfied, until you weakly pushed on his head with a ‘Shit, baby, enough, please’ when he had you on the brink of oversensitivity. As soon as his mouth detached from your heat, he pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips, sucking them clean before he finally stood up and caught your mouth in a heated kiss. The fact that you could taste yourself on his lips only seemed to spur you on further, making you whimper while you brought a hand to the back of his head and took a handful of his curls to finally get completely lost in the motions of his kiss.

“So pretty, fuck…” He mumbled when his mouth disconnected from yours, cradling your head in his hands as he smothered your face with kisses. “So fucking gorgeous when you come for me, shit…”

His borderline adoring words had you feeling tingly all over, somehow both making your heart swell in your chest and your walls involuntarily flutter even when they were still sporadically spasming from the after effects of your orgasm. When Chris kissed you again, you looped your arms around his neck just as his hands found your hips, pulling him flush to you, heaving chest against heaving chest, getting lost in the feeling of his lips on yours and his hands kneading your flesh.

“Holy fuck”, you chuckled as soon as Chris’ lips parted from yours, and he followed suit, chuckling while he made his way to your neck, to press kisses all over your skin.

“Mmm, I know, right?”

Chris hugged you close, leisurely kissing and licking your neck and shoulders. His soft, lingering touches seemed to shoot straight to the deepest areas within your heart, and even though you’d just had a mind-numbing orgasm, you certainly wanted more. More of him.

“Chris?” You mumbled, hugging him a bit tighter.

“Mm?”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, then moved to take his earlobe between your teeth, tugging gently before you whispered, “want you”.

Chris took in a shaky breath, and he pulled himself away from your neck to look at your face. God, you wanted to kiss him, his flushed face and his swollen lips would be a sight that’d haunt your wettest dreams from now on, you just knew. 

He licked his lips. “We don’t have to, pretty”.

“Mm… You’re right, we don’t have to”, dragging one of your hands from his shoulders, down his chest, his abdomen, all the way to his length, you pressed your palm firmly, feeling him still hard under your grasp. “But do you want to?”

“Fuck, yeah, I want to”, Chris held your hips tighter, and you wondered if you’d see bruises tomorrow just as he placed a kiss on your lips. “I want you so bad”.

“You have me. Right here, baby. You can have me right here”, you mumbled against his lips, pressing a kiss there right after, just as Chris swore under his breath.

“Shit… Gimme a sec”, he detached himself from you, rounding the desk and pulling one of the drawers open, muttering to himself. “There were some here, I’m sure…”

You turned to look at him, oddly amused by the way he carelessly moved things around in his drawers. “What are you looking for?”

“Aha! These”, he pulled a three piece box of condoms, and he turned it around a few times in his hand with a frown on his face. “I seriously hope these aren’t expired…”

You chuckled at the sight of his focused face, amused, but also incredibly curious. “Why do you even have a box of condoms in your desk’s drawers? How many girls have you had in here?”

“Believe it or not, you’re the first one”, he chuckled, opening the package and taking one of the foil packets out, examining it closely for a moment, only to finally heave a sigh of relief. “Thank God. Not expired”.

With a smile on your lips, you quirked a brow at him, just as you watched him round the desk again to stand in front of you. He shrugged to your silent question, taking the foil packet between his teeth so he could untie the top of his boilersuit from around his hips and tug the rest and his underwear down enough so his length was free again, and you’d admit you got a bit distracted by the sight.

With the corner of the condom packet still held in place by his teeth, he finally tore it open, and you took the bit of foil that was still in his mouth to drop it somewhere on the desk while Chris carefully slid the condom down his length.

“You’d be surprised how many things a condom can be used for when working with cars. They’re always useful when you need to get creative and use whatever you have at hand”, Chris stood between your parted legs, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing.

“What kind of MacGyver bullshit is that?” You chuckled, but the sound quickly turned into a surprised yelp when Chris held you tightly and pulled you closer to the edge of the desk.

“They’ve always been helpful when I’ve needed them”, leaning into you, Chris placed a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a kiss just as he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down your slit, spreading your juices around and teasing your clit in the process, making you whimper into his mouth. “But I’ll be honest, I’ve never been more happy to have them at hand than I do right now”.

You brought a hand to play with the hair at the back of his head, pulling him for a brief kiss. “Put them to good use, then”.

“Demanding, are we?” Chris chuckled, but he lined himself with your entrance anyway, slowly easing his length into your heat. “Oh, shit…”

It was a stretch, alright, but he was being just so incredibly careful, and you appreciated it, you really did. But you were also incredibly desperate to be filled, so you wrapped your legs around his torso and pushed on his ass with your heel, urging him on, making him jut his hips further forward.

“Shit… Have mercy on me, will you?” He mumbled against your cheek, pressing a soft kiss on your skin while his now free hand made its way to your hip again, holding you tightly.

“Want you”, you replied simply, probably whinier and less demanding that you were trying to sound, but Chris complied with your request anyway, finally thrusting all the way in, making you gasp with just how incredibly full you felt.

“Want you, too”, he pressed his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking on your skin. The thought of waking up tomorrow and seeing his marks on your neck or your hips made you flush impossibly further, even as he moved along to press kisses on the exposed skin of your shoulder. “Want you so bad I’m genuinely about to burst just by being inside you right now. Need a second”.

Bringing a hand to his cheek, you made him turn away from your shoulder to look at you, and the way he bit his lip before he leaned in for a kiss had you involuntarily clenching around him, eliciting a choked groan from his lips.

“Fuck, driving me nuts… Seriously, we’re gonna have… the best fucking date ever… You’ll see…” He mumbled his words between kisses, and it genuinely had you laughing, because of course he was still thinking about your future date. “C’mon, beautiful. Hold on to me”.

So you did, bringing your arms to rest on his shoulders, burying one of your hands in his hair, all while he placed one hand on the small of your back, and the other on the desk for stability. Finally, Chris moved, starting a rhythm with precise thrusts, making you gasp at the sensation of his length dragging against your walls, making him groan.

“Fuck, shit… That’s good. So good. Feel so fucking perfect around me, baby. Perfect”, with the increase of his tempo you could barely register the words coming out of his mouth, all you could do was whine while you nodded in agreement, hoping that he, too, would know how just incredibly good he felt inside of you.

The way Chris kissed you, almost desperate, the way he started to ram into you, stretching you so deliciously you were already starting to feel lightheaded, all combined had that little bit of sanity you had left in you leave your body entirely, finally letting you succumb to just your utmost primal need for pleasure. But more specifically, for pleasure you could share with Chris.

You honestly couldn’t tell how long you spent getting pounded to that desk, you could just feel Chris’ cock repeatedly splitting you open and his lips on yours and the words that he’d occasionally mumble against your skin, his words of praise and encouragement that had you once again feeling tingly all over, words that fed that pool of arousal inside of you, threatening to spill it all over. You vaguely registered words of your own leave your mouth, too. Words that seemed to spur him on, that seemed to pull blissed-out sounds from his lips and yours nonstop. 

“Lean back a bit for me, gorgeous”, and you couldn’t help but comply, removing one of your hands from his shoulders to place it behind you to lean on it, leaving just enough space between your bodies for Chris to sneak his hand between your bodies, finding your clit and drawing fervent circles on your already oversensitive bud, eliciting a moan from your lips as soon as he did. “Fuck, fuck, that’s it, baby. Just like that, milk my cock just like that, huh…”

“Chris–” You honestly weren’t sure what you were even going to tell him, you could just feel your next high approaching increasingly fast, and you needed it. You needed it badly.

“It’s fine, pretty. Whenever you’re ready, just let go”, he mumbled the words against your cheek, pressing a chaste kiss on it, a complete contrast to his sharp thrusts and the fast movement of his fingers between your legs. “Want to feel you so bad, fuck…”

“Shit–” With a few more flicks of his fingers on your clit, you finally got that sweet, sweet relief. The feeling spread all throughout your body, dragging sounds of pure, unadulterated pleasure out of your mouth, making your legs shake from exertion as you tried to keep your hold around Chris’ torso.

Bringing both of his hands to your hips for leverage, Chris chased his own release, his grunts and groans getting lost in your mouth while he kissed you again. One, two, three thrusts and he was flush against you, shooting his load into the condom while he was buried as deep as he could within your warmth, a mix of his groans and your name and a colourful string of swears flying past his lips as he rode the waves of his ecstasy with minute rolls of his hips.

“Holy fuck”, he cradled your face in his hands, pulling you in for one more heated kiss while he came down from his high, and you couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“I agree”, you were panting a bit, breathless, leaning back on both of your hands as you tried to catch your breath.

Chris laughed, a hearty laugh that had a smile appearing on your face immediately. Taking a hold of the condom by the base of his length to make sure it was secure in place, he finally pulled out, carefully sliding it off of him, tying a knot and throwing it in the bin by his desk. You missed his warmth inside of you immediately.

Taking a roll of toilet paper from one of the tool carts nearby, he quickly cleaned any remnants of his release from his length before he was tucking it back into his briefs, finally wrapping the top of his boilersuit around his waist again. With more paper in hand Chris asked you to ‘please open up those pretty legs for me, hm?’ so he could clean you up, helping you back into your underwear right after.

As soon as you were standing back on your–admittedly unsteady–feet, Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, placing a quick kiss on your lips only to move up and press another on your forehead. “You okay?”

“I’m more than okay”, you chuckled, melting into his embrace. “Everything hurts, though. How’re you?”

“On cloud nine”, he replied simply, giving you one of his blinding smiles, making your heart race with the sight.

When Chris finally detached himself from you, he reached for the soda he’d taken out of your hands earlier, giving it back to you once you told him ‘I still want to drink it. Even if it’s not cold anymore, seriously’, and after a bit of back and forth he simply relented.

“Would you…” Chris started to ask, while he bent down to take the bag out of the bin. “Would you like to come to my place? I mean, I can take you to yours, too, that’s fine, but I figured, you know, you could stay over, and we could have dinner, and I can make you breakfast tomorrow, and I’m sure Wolfgang would love to see you, and we could cuddle to sleep, you know? But if you don’t want to, it’s fin–”

You took a hold of his hand, squeezing it in yours to stop his rambling. “I’d love to”.

Chris just giggled a bit, pressing a quick kiss on your lips and tugging you out of his office back to the garage once he’d switched off the light. When you were outside, you made your way to his 4X4, watching him chuck the small bin bag from his office into the bigger bin out in the garage and going through the motions of switching every light off in here, too.

As you watched him, your eyes drifted to Herbie, parked in his–by now–usual spot. Maybe Chris was right, maybe it was time you considered letting him go. He’d served you well for those two months at the beginning, and when you were in a pinch he was very forgiving, but his condition was unsustainable at this point.

As soon as Chris was by your side again he gave you a kiss for good measure, opening his 4X4’s passenger door for you. You just smiled at him, pressing one more kiss on his lips before you finally hopped in. Chris rounded the bonnet and started to very animatedly talk about a funny thing Wolfgang had done just this morning, gesturing with his hands while he recounted the event, making you laugh.

While Chris drove you two to his place, with soft music playing on the radio, with his hand occasionally shifting from the gear lever to squeeze your thigh, all while a light, easy conversation flowed between you two, you figured that Herbie might’ve been the worst financial decision you’d ever made, but at the very least, he’d brought you to Chris, so you really couldn’t hold a grudge against him, not when you felt so incredibly light and couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face.

You can find part two here

Tagging: @raspbinniecreme · @staaa96 · @oiminho · @starshine-moon · @biribarabiribbaem · @100layersofdaddyissues · @dearalice · @alexis-reads-fics · @xcookiemonsteer · @knowleeknow · @chanlovesme · @liminaldaydream · @sstarryreads · @svngiem · @notastraykid · @princelingperfect · @peepeepoopooharrie · @aestheticsluut · @skzhomiehopper · @cessixja · @mimzibee · @hipsdofangirl · @djeniryuu · @floatingcoffecup in purple can’t be tagged. If you want to be removed (or if i tagged you incorrectly) from the list just PM me. If you want to be added fill in this form~

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate.

Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :)

[talesofesther]

souls tied, bound to burn | ch 1

Samantha Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Your move to New York came suddenly, in the hopes of getting closer to what was left of your family. What you weren't expecting was to fall for your sister's roommate, Sam; and little did you know, she'd be your doom, in the prettiest of ways.

A/N: I feel like this story is told in moments, but I do like how it turned out; it is, after all, a story that I poured my heart and soul into. This is one which took many of my sleepless nights, but it was so worth it bringing this idea to life. Cannot thank @iamnicodemus enough for basically being my beta reader and helping me with everything. There will be two more parts to this storyline, but I can't say when they will be posted, as I'm still writing them.

Word count: 10k (limit? never heard of her)

Masterlist

One thing that Sam was still trying to get used to after moving to New York was the lack of calmness.

She had just finished her session with yet another therapist, it was past 10 PM, and the streets were still as busy as ever. There was no shortage of cars or people passing by her as she walked back to her apartment. Sometimes it could be overwhelming and she couldn't get home fast enough. Sometimes it helped to keep her mind a little quieter.

Sam was still unsure of what it felt like today, maybe a mix of both.

Things haven't been easy after everything that happened in Woodsboro, every day the weight on her shoulders worsens and she has no idea how to even start dealing with it. It only became worse after the rumors started.

The steps up the stairs to her apartment felt like a whole workout, after working the entire day Sam was absolutely drained. The hunch on her posture and faint dark bags under her eyes said as much.

Nearing the door, she could hear faint voices coming from inside, one of them she didn't recognize. The tensing of her muscles was inevitable.

Sam turned the doorknob and slowly made her way inside, she closed the door behind her without turning around. There wasn't anything different about the place — TV turned on, cheap yellow lights in the kitchen illuminating the dirty dishes on the sink, low music coming from Tara's room — except Quinn was talking with someone on the couch.

Though Sam didn't know who it was, she already relaxed at the fact that there was no trouble in sight.

She ran a hand through her hair whilst walking to the kitchen, there were leftovers of dinner on two pans over the stove; but despite only having lunch on her stomach, she wasn't hungry. Picking up a clean cup, she filled it with water on the sink and gulped it down.

"Hey, Sam's home," Quinn announced with a chipper voice.

Sam closed her eyes with a sigh before managing a smile, she really didn't feel like socializing right now. But she turned to Quinn anyway.

The girl was perched over the back of the couch, waving Sam over, "come here, I want you to meet someone."

Involuntarily, Sam's eyes drifted to the one who sat beside Quinn; it was a girl she had never seen before, but the gentle smile on her lips made Sam hesitate in her steps. She did walk up to them though, making herself comfortable on the loveseat beside Quinn.

"Sam, this is Y/n, she's my sister," Quinn motioned to you with a grin.

"Sister?" Sam's eyes were huge as she looked between you and Quinn.

"Well, half-sister," Quinn concluded, "it's a long story."

You then gave them a tight-lipped smile, raising your hand in an awkward wave whilst looking at Sam, "it's uh- a pleasure to meet you."

There were several question marks twirling around in Sam's head, but the biggest one seemed to be why she found herself quite trapped in the way the images on the TV highlighted the lines of your jaw, cheeks, and lips. "I'm Samantha- Sam," she stumbled out quickly.

Quinn raised her eyebrows in amusement, a beat of silence passed before she tilted her head towards Sam, "yep, that's Samantha Sam."

The older Carpenter kicked herself internally about ten thousand times. That was awful.

A weird weight filled the air after that. Sam didn't know what to do with herself, she didn't know if she should stay or just go and lock herself in her room. She ended up settling for pretending to watch the TV while you spoke with Quinn. From what Sam heard, you had just arrived in town and were staying in a hotel until you could find an apartment, because apparently, your mother had left a significant amount of money in your name; she also overheard that you were yet to go visit your father.

When it was nearing midnight, you decided to leave, saying something about it already being too late.

Sam watched as Quinn walked you to the door and bid you goodbye with a brief hug. And before the door clicked close, your gaze caught Sam's and you gave her that same gentle smile she'd seen earlier; all the same, it froze her, and Sam saw herself just staring back at you with an emotion even she couldn't place.

Quinn dragged herself back to the living room then, laying down on the empty couch to wait for the inevitable interrogation.

"I didn't know you had a sister," Sam started eventually, mindlessly switching through channels. The room was dimly lit, with the only other lights coming from the kitchen, the brightness of the TV hurt her tired eyes.

"Neither did I."

At that, Sam's attention was fully on Quinn, her brows furrowed.

Quinn shook her head, dismissing the worry, "I mean, I knew, sort of," she explained, "she's from a fling my dad had before he met my mom, I think they broke up when she was born and her mom took her to Boston. Never met her until like, yesterday."

Now, the pieces from what Sam had heard were starting to come together. She wondered just how detached you were from this side of your family until now. "And your father never told you had a sister?"

"He did, in passing, sometimes I heard the calls he'd give her to check in. But she's always been distant," Quinn shrugged.

Sam mulled over the words in her mind, part of her couldn't help but feel wary, "why is she here?"

"Her mother died, she has no other family left."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It didn't take long for Sam to bump into you again. It happened actually only two days after your visit to Quinn at their apartment.

It was a mildly calm afternoon at the coffee shop Sam worked at. At least for a Thursday, it felt calm. Just a few booths had people sitting on them, and every few minutes someone would stop by to grab a cup of coffee to go.

What the place lacked in fanciness it made up for in coziness — between her shifts here during the week and at the bowling alley on the weekends, it was easy for Sam to pick a favorite, nothing beats the vibe of a coffee shop — the place held warm tones to its decor, brick walls here and there with a few black boards hung up that had order choices written on them with white chalk; there was also a vintage radio on the corner that Sam always sneakily changed the songs of.

Against her own beliefs, she became rather good at preparing lattes and cappuccinos. She mentioned it to Tara once, and the girl said she'd believe it once she drinks it; Sam has been waiting for her to stop by.

Though as with everything, it wasn't perfect. Even before the rumors blaming her for the murders started, Sam was already an outsider, not quite allowed to fit in. She had no friends amongst the staff, only colleagues; and after the rumors, she even considered that to be a stretch.

Sam doesn't mind. She tells herself as much every day before walking in for work. But feeling judgemental eyes burning into your back at least once a day tends to take its toll on someone.

So she keeps to herself, she does her job, and she tries not to give them more reasons to bother her.

The small bell above the door dinged as someone came in, pulling Sam back to the present when she realized she would be the one taking the order.

She straightened her posture and smoothed down her uniform, looking around on the counter for her notepad and pen. Upon finding them, Sam finally glanced up and felt her breathing get momentarily stuck, the usual 'what can I get for you' dying on her tongue.

Part of Sam thinks she'd ironically recognize you anywhere. She realized you had that about you, something that felt unmistakable.

Same thing that happened to her apparently happened to you as well, as your lips hovered yet no words came out. It was that weird moment of I know you but I don't actually know you yet.

You were the first to talk, and Sam wanted to thank you for it. "Hey," you chuckled, somewhat awkwardly, "it's uh- Sam, right? It's nice to see you again."

Try as she might, Sam wasn't able to hold your gaze, she glanced down at her hands before looking at you again, "that's me," she gave you a small smile, "can I get you anything?"

"Yeah…" You dragged on, stuffing your hands on the pockets of your jeans as your gaze skimmed over the order options, "just a simple cappuccino to go, please." You eventually decided.

Sam felt your eyes on her as she scribbled your order down, even if it was just a cappuccino, she had the habit to write them all down. "Coming right up," she said, before turning around to make your order.

Ever since she started working here, she has probably made more than a hundred cappuccinos; yet she found herself checking things twice over. Espresso, steamed milk, foam. Everything carefully poured down on the cup.

You were standing right where she left you once she brought the order to you. That same gentle smile she saw two nights ago was present on your lips when you paid her and bid her goodbye.

Secretly, Sam wondered if you'd be back some other day.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It was never your plan to come to New York, let alone on your own. But tragedy strikes when you least expect it.

When, on one of his monthly calls to check in on you, you broke the news to your father that your mother had passed, he told you you should come live closer to him if you wanted to. And honestly, not feeling so alone in the world felt appealing.

So you packed everything you had of value, and took the leap. You had your mother to thank for being able to simply do that out of nowhere, she'd left everything of hers in your name, including her company's income.

But money hardly solves all problems, because you never actually met your father's side of the family. All you had were his phone calls, where he would sometimes briefly mention a sister you'd get along with if you were to meet, and not much else.

Upon knowing you'd be coming to the city, he gave you Quinn's contact, promising she would help you find a place to stay. You weren't exactly keen on meeting your sister for the first time all by yourself, but Quinn had been surprisingly easygoing; telling you all about how cool it was to have a sister instead of another brother. And the question 'I have a brother too?' lingered on your tongue, but you thought it would be a weird thing to ask. That was a few days ago, and you settled in a hotel for the time being.

In any way, you had a lot of catching up to do.

And now, anxiety was bubbling relentlessly in your stomach and you clutched tightly at the straps of your backpack. The police station was kinda busy at this time of day, but it was exactly the time he asked you to come in, so you did.

You didn't know exactly what to feel other than anxiety. How is one supposed to feel when they're about to see their father for the first time in their life?

It's a weird situation, though you couldn't really blame your mother for it; yes she took you away shortly after you were born, but from what she told you, she and your father didn't end on the best of terms. From the moment you were born, she'd been protective.

You reached the front desk, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. "Hello," you greeted the woman there.

She glanced up from the pile of papers she'd been sorting out, "hi there, what can I do for you?"

"Um- Detective Bailey asked me to stop by," you explained, and the woman in front of you raised an unamused eyebrow. Even before saying it, the words already felt somewhat strange in your mouth, "he's my father."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

Your first two weeks in New York were hectic. Meeting a whole new side of your family was a strange experience, but you'd say it went well. Quinn was the easiest of all, she treated you as if you were one of her friends from university and you appreciated it. Ethan was distant, he was kind and polite, but you could tell he didn't want much to do with you. Your father was, essentially, what you expected him to be; he was kind and attentive, obviously a little awkward just as you were, but he seemed to genuinely care about you; as much as one can care about a daughter they'd never met.

Quinn had been quite insistent on having a sister bonding time with you, so you'd find yourself at her apartment more often than not. This led to you being acquainted with Mindy, Anika, and Chad, who were around just as much as you; plus Sam and Tara, of course.

The youngest of Quinn's roommates took an instant liking to you. Your personality matched Tara's quite well, you were happy to hear every gossip she liked the share about her colleagues at the university and the usual rant about her sister.

Sam, she was not an easy one to read; at first, you thought she might not even like you, but Tara explained that 'that's just how she is, she'll warm up to you eventually'.

Maybe that was part of the reason why you found yourself creating a habit of stopping by a certain coffee shop — after all, they served delicious food and drinks and the place was really cozy; the doe-eyed brunette who worked there was a bonus.

You'd usually stop by later on in the afternoon, when the sunlight had that deep golden glow just an hour or so before disappearing behind the horizon. It was a time of day the coffee shop was a little more crowded, but not as much as it was in the mornings.

Every time you walked in, you found yourself involuntarily looking for Sam; deep down feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush because of the butterflies that invaded your stomach whenever she remembered your order.

You quickly realized the importance of details with Sam. The more you came to eat at the coffee shop, the slightly more comfortable she became with you. It started with her serious expression changing to a small smile whenever she saw you, then she started greeting you by your name, and recently, she has been drawing little smiley faces on your cup.

The usual booth you'd sit at was tucked in a more reserved corner, just beside one of the windows; you liked the privacy. Each time that Sam brought your cappuccino and apple pie, you held yourself back from asking if she could sit down and have a coffee with you.

Maybe tomorrow, you'd think to yourself.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

The smell of freshly made lasagna filled the whole apartment. If you had a good enough sense of smell, you'd be able to tell it was just the slightest bit burned, but no one seemed to care.

Mindy and Chad could be heard bickering about how to properly take said lasagna out of the oven without causing a disaster, Tara was opening up a cheap wine bottle while Anika set the dining table, and Quinn was switching through channels on the TV.

It was a pleasant sight for someone who wasn't used to many of those.

Sam had just gotten out of the shower, towel in her hands as she finished drying off her hair. She had managed to get out of work earlier today and ditched therapy so she could have dinner with her found family — which honestly felt more like therapy than actual therapy.

A chuckle escaped Sam's lips when Mindy called her brother a moron with a halfhearted slap on the back of his head.

And then, three soft knocks came from the front door.

"I got it," Sam told them, hanging her towel over her shoulder as she got over to the door and steadily undid all the locks in it. She knew who it was, Quinn warned you'd be coming for dinner today too. Sam felt a little childish when anticipation started twirling in her stomach.

Selfishly, Sam wanted to think that this specific smile of yours belonged to her.

"Hi," she greeted you with the same softness you stared back at her with; for the second time today, the first being at the coffee shop. Sam figured she wouldn't mind seeing you more often, "come in, dinner is almost ready."

"Hey Sam," you smiled timidly as you walked past her and inside the apartment.

Sam has known you for a little over two weeks, and there should be alarms blaring inside her head for the way she felt so naturally drawn to you. But there wasn't, there was only the softness of your presence and the way she wanted to drown in it.

"Hey new girl," Mindy called, her voice ringing loudly through the room as she peeked over from the kitchen with a grin, "you like lasagna?"

"Of course," you grinned, taking off your jacket and failing to see the way Sam's gaze lingered a little too long on you, "who doesn't like lasagna?"

Mindy pointed a finger at you, "right answer," she quipped before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Sam awkwardly cleared her throat next to you, "let me take this for you."

You glanced beside you to see the girl subtly gesturing for your jacket, unsure if the redness of her cheeks was a trick of the light or not. "Oh, thanks, Sam."

"Alright y'all, dinner's on the table," Mindy announced, getting everyone to flock to the dining room.

It was maybe after the second or third time you'd stopped by that you had unconsciously assigned a seat for yourself at their table. Ironically, it was the one beside Sam.

If you were being honest with yourself, you had a lot to thank this peculiar group of friends; if it wasn't for all the laughs they managed to pull out of you at each dinner, maybe settling in on the new city wouldn't have gone so smoothly. They sure took away the feeling of loneliness that had been steadily collecting in your chest ever since your mother passed.

And you had found a reason to like every single one of them; Mindy was naturally funny and made you feel as welcome as if you'd known her your whole life, and so did Anika; Chad was the exact opposite of what you'd picture him to be, sharing his sister's tendency for kindness; Sam was… you couldn't find a word to describe her quite yet, maybe entrancing could work; and Tara, well, you'd just found out tonight she shared your penchant for horror movies.

That's how, after dinner, you found yourself laying with Tara on her bed as you watched a movie of her choosing.

"You know, I'm glad you decided to come to New York," Tara told you out of the blue, the sound coming from her TV almost covering her voice.

Her room was dimly lit, the only source of light being the TV itself and a small lamp on her desk, you could barely make out her features. "I am too, I'm sure glad I met you guys."

Tara chuckled fondly at that, "Sam seems to like you," she told you quietly, her voice sounding as if she was letting you in on a pretty secret, "she could use a friend, you know."

You caught the hidden words in her soft tone. You weren't blind to how lonely Sam tended to be sometimes. Isolating herself even in a room full of people who cared about her.

Though it stunned you for a brief moment that Tara was asking that of you, you wondered if she saw something you didn't. At this point, you already knew of their story, at least partially; from articles online about the Woodsboro killings, and consequently, from the rumors circling around about Sam. Needless to say, your heart broke for them.

"I'd be happy to be her friend, if she'd have me," you meant it.

The movie extended longer than you predicted and Tara was already dozing off on your shoulder by the time the credits rolled. So you carefully turned off her TV and sneaked yourself out of her bed, your steps as light as a feather touching the floor.

You closed the door to her room with extreme delicacy and only as you turned around, did you notice the absolute darkness of the rest of the apartment.

It looked like everyone had already called it a night.

The only thing illuminating your steps was the soft orange glow coming in through the windows from the street lamps outside. The apartment held an eery silence to it, the clean plates and cutlery you all had used earlier rested on top of the table, there was an occasional sound of water droplets falling from the kitchen sink, and the red numbers of the clock on the coffee table read 12:37 AM.

The darkness and silence were a striking contrast to the commotion from earlier.

You opted for turning on the lights in the kitchen so you could look for your jacket and go home for the night; though after a good five minutes of unsuccessful searching you were almost considering leaving without it. That's when a soft, barely there whimper caught your ears.

It got a cold shiver running up and down your back, momentarily making you imagine yourself in a horror movie.

Until your eyes landed on the bigger couch of the living room and you saw Sam; she was curled up there, fast asleep with her hands under her head and knees tucked up to her chest, looking much smaller than she actually was, just barely being highlighted by the kitchen light.

You couldn't help the swelling of your heart. She was undeniably endearing.

There was the sound of a siren passing by in the distance. You looked out the window by instinct, but you couldn't see where exactly it came from.

When your eyes settled back on Sam, you found her clutching at the cushions under her head, a frown etched unpleasantly on her eyebrows. Her hair was messy, you realized; maybe from tossing and turning too much.

You were genuinely not sure what got into you, it's not like you have enough intimacy to even be seeing her like this. But you crouched down in front of her, one hand coming to rest gently on her shoulder.

Before you could even fully touch her, Sam was already stirring awake. Her body was visibly tense and her eyes a tad too wide and alert for someone who just woke up.

"I'm… sorry," you said quietly, feeling embarrassment crawling up your neck and to your cheeks, "sorry I woke you up."

Sam held herself up with her elbow, her free hand running through her messy hair. She wasn't looking at you, attempting to regulate her unsteady breathing.

You could see it from the way her chest moved up and down quickly. And there you followed a single drop of sweat running down from her neck to her collarbone. The night was far too cold for her to be sweating.

You wanted to reach out, but didn't. "I was just wondering where you put my jacket," you continued when she remained quiet.

Sam felt bare in front of you, somewhat timid. There were goosebumps rising on her skin. She nearly didn't find her voice, "I'll go get it for you."

You waited for her by the front door, shifting on your feet. She came back with your jacket in her hands, clutching tightly onto it so you wouldn't catch the shaking of her fingers. But you did, you also caught onto the hollowness of her eyes and the hair clinging to her damp forehead. You knew it wasn't your place to ask, but Sam looked so alone in the darkness of the apartment, that you feared she might let herself be swallowed by it the moment you leave.

"Are you okay?"

Sam's expression did something complicated, unsure of how to feel. Several beats passed in silence, as if she was considering how to answer you. Eventually, she nodded softly, "I'm alright, just tired from work."

It was a half-truth. You had been there today when a group of teenagers came into the coffee shop, one of them casting accusatory glances at Sam as he whispered — quite loudly — the word 'murderer' to his friends. You weren't able to wave her goodbye after that. She stayed hidden in the back.

Maybe your heart felt something it wasn't telling you yet, because it was hurting, for her. "For what it's worth," the words rolled off your tongue in a soft whisper, "I don't believe them."

Sam's lips parted, her mouth going dry and her doe eyes glinting with a sudden vulnerability. The grip she had around your jacket tightened.

Your smile was bittersweet this time, "the rumors, I don't believe them."

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

"I don't think I see you," you spoke on the phone, squinting at the evening sun shining on your eyes as you walked the busy streets of New York.

Last night your father had called you just before he left the police station, asking if maybe you would like to have an afternoon snack with him today; stop by at a popular bakery to catch up on lost time.

You felt an unfamiliar warmth on your chest at the request, agreeing promptly. He was trying to form a connection with you, and honestly, it was something you wanted too. You already lost one parent, you didn't fancy losing the other.

"I see you."

He spoke over the phone.

"Look to your right."

You followed his instructions and sure enough, he was on the other side of the street, his arms up and obnoxiously waving you over so you'd see him.

A chuckle escaped you as you hurriedly crossed the street, tucking your phone into the back pocket of your jeans. You smiled tentatively then, slowly closing the distance between you and him without knowing if you should lean in for a hug or extend your hand for a shake.

Bailey decided for you, he was opening his arms before you even reached him.

The hug was brief but welcomed. He kept one hand on your shoulder when he pulled away, seemingly taking a good look at you as a sincere smile appeared on his expression; "thank you for coming, I know we've never been too close, but I would like us to be."

You reached up to the hand he still had on your shoulder and squeezed his wrist in reassurance, "I would like it too."

That was enough to cut through the awkward bits of tension still lingering between you. Part of you felt like you were fifteen again, giddy for having your father dedicate a whole afternoon for you and you only.

It didn't make the pain of losing your mother go away, but it engulfed it into something more bearable. Something you could get used to.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It was about an hour after lunch that Sam received a rather urgent call from Tara. The only words she managed to focus on were "asthma attack" and "inhaler at the apartment."

The problem? Sam was basically on the other side of town.

Her first option was Mindy, but the girl wasn't picking up her phone. And then neither was Chad. Her last resort was calling her own apartment in the hopes that Quinn was home and could drive to the university with Tara's inhaler.

The line ringed, and ringed, and ringed. Until…

"Hello?"

The thought about why she recognized your voice so easily flew by. "Y/n?" Sam stopped in her tracks, forcing the other people on the sidewalk to walk around her.

"Sam?"

"What are you-"

"No, I didn't break into your apartment."

Sam heard your chuckle from the other end of the line.

"I stopped by to bring something to Quinn."

"Y/n, I need you to-" Sam took in a deep breath, running a hand through her hair and gripping at the roots of it. She closed her eyes tightly, "Tara is having an asthma attack and she left her inhaler at the apartment, could you ask Quinn to-"

"Sam, calm down."

Your soft voice made Sam realize she was having trouble breathing.

"Breathe, okay? I'll take it to her, I'm less than five minutes away by bike, I'll let you know when I get there."

Sam bit at the inside of her cheek, nodding even though you couldn't see it, "thank you."

Only mere minutes passed by — though they felt much longer than usual — until Sam received a text from you, it read 'hey' and she could see you were still typing.

Sam held onto her breath and only released it once you sent her the next text, which read 'all is good'. Instant relief washed over her and she leaned back on the wall of the random store she was standing in front of.

Her cellphone vibrated again, and this time it was a picture of you and Tara making silly faces while you held her close.

The smile that came to Sam's lips was as big as ever, her heart beating painfully against her ribs as if it was trying to leap from her chest and into the screen of her phone; all so it could reach you.

Sam typed back; 'I owe you one.'

She held back on sending a heart emoji.

It was becoming increasingly harder to deny the way she started feeling about you; how you seemingly occupied a place in her heart no one else could have; or how she hoped to see you walk into the coffee shop every day, because, on the off chance you didn't, something felt out of place, missing.

Maybe it was time for her to do something about it.

And the opportunity presented itself on the very next day.

It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, the coffee shop lacking its usual golden rays that came through the window at this time of day. There was a slightly colder breeze in the air, it came through each time a new customer opened the door and it forced Sam to wear her jacket on top of her uniform.

Sam had been anticipating your arrival ever since the clock hit 4 PM, which was the time you usually stopped by. She couldn't help looking up at the door each time she heard the bell above it.

It scared her, to take a chance like this. Trusting people with your heart only opens room for them to break it. She knows it.

But oh you made her want to turn a blind eye to every single risk, and fear, and doubt.

Sam wondered, for a moment, if destiny was playing with her. Because when the clock hit 4:47 PM you walked through the coffee shop's doors and the sky just so happened to have a crack in its clouds, casting a faded glow that bathed you aureate for a moment.

Sam's eyes were unfocused, caught in a daze that was only broken when you were already standing in front of her.

"Good afternoon, Sam," you smiled, your cheeks flushed from the cold wind outside.

"Hi," Sam stumbled out, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat, "the usual?"

"Please," you confirmed, already reaching inside your backpack for your wallet, but Sam's hand on your forearm stopped you.

The touch of her skin on yours felt electric. Sam pulled her hand back quickly, timidly curling her fingers to try and keep the feeling of you a little longer. "This one is on me," her voice wasn't nearly as confident as it needed to be for that line.

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but she beat you to it; "please, let me do this. As a thank you for you helping Tara yesterday."

A sly smile crept into your lips, your eyes roaming over Sam up and down before you spoke; "only if you drink something with me."

Your boldness surprised Sam, in the best of ways. She was burning up inside, her heart working overtime to keep up with her feelings. Despite the cold, she felt suddenly warm.

"I have a break in ten."

When Sam brought your order to your table — the usual table in the far right corner near the biggest window — she sat down in front of you. She carefully placed down your cappuccino and apple pie before closing both her hands around the simple cup of coffee she had for herself.

You took your time with taking a sip from your drink, closing your eyes when the slightly sweet, warm beverage hit your tongue.

Sam followed each movement, from the way your fingers closed around the mug to the way the corner of your lips lifted just the smallest bit after tasting the coffee she made — for a moment you were all she could see. Though she shook herself off of it pretty quickly, realizing how it might be creepy. Sam took a generous drink of her coffee as well.

"Do you like it?" Came the sudden sweetness of your voice, "working at a coffee shop?"

A faint smell of burnt bread reached Sam's nose, it was probably Enrique forgetting about the oven again. She could hear loud chatter happening at the entrance of the coffee shop, it was probably the five students who usually stopped by at this time of day. Sam was hesitating. Between apartment visits because of Quinn and everyday meet-ups for her to make you coffee, Sam didn't plan for herself coming this far with you.

"Could be worse," were the words that eventually escaped her mouth, "beats the bowling alley."

You chuckled, a lovely sound as you sheepishly glanced down, your thumb tracing the edge of your mug. Sam wanted to pull her cell phone out and trap this moment in time; it felt precious enough to do so.

"I definitely prefer coming to coffee shops instead of bowling alleys," you smirked.

Sam somewhat mimicked your smile, "are you liking New York?"

You hummed, choosing to take a bite of your pie before answering, "all things considered, I am. It's a lot of getting used to," you had a faraway gaze out the window then, leaning your chin on your hand, "meeting a whole new side of my family is… strange. But we're getting along surprisingly well, I've been going out with my father at least once a week, Ethan is more distant but still nice whenever we meet, and, well, I've been visiting Quinn quite regularly, as you know."

Sam took in each of your words, softly nodding along, "it's good one of us is feeling at home, sort of." She gulped, mulling over her next words, "you know you're welcome at the apartment whenever. Tara adores you… everyone does."

If you caught Sam's 'I adore you' you didn't comment on it. Instead, you asked; "how are you settling in? Tara mentioned you guys moved in only a few weeks before I did."

That had Sam holding back a sigh. She leaned back on her side of the booth, "feels like all the shit that happened in Woodsboro followed us all the way here."

Some days were better than others. Some days the weight on her shoulders felt more bearable and the people around her weren't as menacing with their baseless accusations. Some days were worse.

"I'm sorry about everything that's been going on the internet about you," you said.

Sam met your eyes and found there a gentleness no one had ever looked at her with.

"You don't deserve it, Sam."

Being with you was as easy as breathing. For a fleeting moment inside the walls of the coffee shop, there were no rumors crucifying Sam for something she didn't do; there were no bad memories taking her sleep at night; there were no permanent scars marking her skin — there was only Samantha, the girl who had almost forgotten what it felt like to just worry about which words to say next to impress the girl she developed feelings for.

And if she went to bed that night with the ghost of a smile on her lips because you kissed her cheek goodbye earlier, that was nobody's business but hers.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

"Guys, what do you say we order pizza for tonight?" Sam threw the idea into the night.

It was nearing 7 PM and it was a Saturday, meaning it was the unofficial girl's night of the week. Sam, Mindy, Anika, Tara, and Quinn sat together in the living room of Sam's apartment watching a random action movie. Dinner time was nearing and none of them really fancied cooking tonight.

"I think it's a good idea," Mindy agreed, leaning back on the couch and pulling Anika with her, "do you think one is enough for the five of us?"

"Six," Sam spoke without looking up from her phone, already searching for the pizza place's number, "I invited Y/n over."

Save for the movie playing in the background, there was a sudden silence in the living room. It stretched on until Sam found the number and looked up to see everyone staring at her.

A frown slowly came to her eyebrows and she chuckled awkwardly, fidgeting with her phone, "what?"

"You invited her?" Quinn started.

"You two have been growing quite close," Mindy added, an all-too-knowing grin on her lips.

Tara had her lips hung open, being the last one to catch up on her sister's painfully obvious crush.

"We're… friends, she's nice," Sam shrugged, feeling herself grow self-conscious with the attention and involuntarily curling in on herself a little. She got up from the couch then, deciding to go make the call to order the pizza outside in the hallway as she figured she wouldn't have much peace inside right now.

She put on her house slippers and walked to the front door, hearing Mindy shout; "I've heard that before," right as she closed the door behind her.

Sam found herself slowly roaming to the lobby as she spoke on the phone, a cold air came from the entrance doors of her apartment building as she spoke on the phone, making her hug herself to preserve the warmth.

The pizza would be arriving in about thirty minutes, and just before Sam turned around to walk back inside to the coziness of her apartment, her cell phone dinged with a message from you letting her know you were here.

Sam saw herself smiling at the screen of her phone, at the small heart emoji you added beside the text.

The main doors of the entrance hall hinged as you walked in, and the first thing Sam noticed was that you were quite underdressed for the weather outside; only a thin jacket kept your body warm, your hair was all tousled from the wind and you had your hands buried in the pockets of your sweatpants. Still, you smiled brightly when you spotted Sam coming towards you.

"Aren't you cold?" Sam chuckled as she met you in the middle, coming to a stop a little closer to you than she should. Her eyes involuntarily roamed up and down your body, always engraving the image of you in her mind as if it was the first and last time she'd be seeing you; even if she has known you for nearly two months now.

"You bet I'm cold," without much of a warning, you brought one hand up and cupped Sam's cheek; the coldness of your skin contrasted with the warmth of hers.

Sam shivered from head to toe, and it wasn't because of the coldness of your fingers, for she could feel her cheeks warming up even more.

Unable to hold your gaze as she did so, Sam took hold of your freezing hand, "come on, let's get you warmed up. I ordered pizza."

You followed her willingly, nuzzling against her shoulder as you walked.

You're both not sure when this newfound intimacy happened. But you weren't complaining. Your heart was so full of Sam that you could hardly call it your own anymore. And Sam doesn't know what happiness means if it isn't written with the letters of your name.

Though it wasn't until a whole week later, that you did something about it.

This Friday was a rainy one, the skies had grey clouds looming over everyone on the streets as heavy raindrops fell steadily. Water splashed around people's shoes as they walked, holding their coats close to their bodies and their umbrellas above their heads.

Sam didn't have an umbrella. She'd given hers to Tara this morning because technically she wouldn't need it, she'd catch a ride with one of the nicer coworkers at the coffee shop when it was time to leave.

Sam was walking in the rain.

She never made it to 7 PM, which was usually the time she'd get off work. Her boss had dismissed her much earlier today; 'it doesn't look good to have a barista covered in coffee' was what he'd said.

Now, the huge coffee stain on her shirt was barely there, being replaced by the water falling from the sky. The pouring rain had already soaked through Sam's clothing; it trickled down her chin and made her hair stuck to her forehead. It was cold, she was shaking, and her fingers were becoming numb.

Today had been one of those unfortunate days. It was a group of teenagers, Sam can't exactly remember what they looked like; she had been the one to bring their orders to the table, and when their eyes met hers she could instantly see the hatred there. Various false accusations left their lips as one of them 'accidentally' spilled their coffee all over Sam. Today wasn't a good day.

Sam didn't know where she was going to, she was almost sure she was walking in the complete opposite direction of her apartment. She didn't stop, keeping her head low in hopes the rain would completely engulf her being.

"Sam?" The call of her name sounded like a hallucination at first. Too sweet, and too far away to be real.

"Sam!" Now it was closer, clearer between the heavy raindrops hitting the pavement.

It made Sam look up, one hand brushing over her eyes to clean the rain stuck to her lashes. Instantly, she forgot how to breathe.

You were coming towards her, one hand holding your coat and the other holding a faded pink umbrella above your head. You looked distressed, there was a frown on your eyebrows that Sam wanted to smooth away with her fingers.

Between the smell of coffee on her shirt and the rain on her skin, Sam had forgotten this was the time you usually came to the coffee shop.

Sam was suddenly shielded from the falling rain. You had to stay close so your umbrella would cover both of you. "Sam…" Your tone was sorrowful as your evident worry escaped you, "what are you doing out here like this? What happened?" You looked her up and down, taking in her purplish fingertips, her soaked clothes and hair, and the barely there coffee stain of her shirt.

The image of you in front of Sam started to blur over; she opened her lips to speak, tasting the raindrops there, yet the words were clogged up on the lump in her throat. A feeling of shame was crawling inside her guts, piercing through her heart for having you see her like this. Sam avoided your eyes, focusing on her boots instead.

Your sneakers inched closer and Sam felt your gentle fingers pushing away strands of her wet hair; the softness of your touch amidst all the harshness she was used to nearly made her crumble.

"Did someone do this to you?" You asked even softer.

Another beat of silence, and then; "I don't know why they hate me so much." Was all Sam told you, her voice nothing but a whisper that broke in the middle.

In the same heartbeat, with the hand that wasn't holding your umbrella, you took hold of Sam's waist, pulling her body close to yours in a warm embrace.

Sam clung to you as if you'd vanish into thin air any minute. Both her arms instantly came around your shoulders in a close-knit grip as she bunched the fabric of your coat between her fingers.

You adjusted your hold around her waist, mimicking the same strength she held you with. Part of you knew she needed to feel that kind of reassuring pressure, shielding her away from reality.

Her body was worryingly cold, the wetness of her clothes was seeping into your own but you couldn't find it in yourself to mind. Because Sam buried her head into the crook of your neck and you could feel steady wet drops falling into your skin, and you knew they weren't from the rain.

Sam's sobs were muffled against you. And as her body trembled in your hold, your heart shattered.

"Let me take you home," you whispered, your lips brushing the skin of her shoulder until you placed a kiss there.

Sam's grip on you tightened, bringing your bodies closer together if that was even possible. "Okay."

And you did take her home. Sam only didn't imagine that when you said home, you meant your apartment, not hers.

To say your place was better than Sam's would be an understatement. Your apartment wasn't overly luxurious, but it was evident that it was expensive.

Admittedly, Sam felt out of place. Not necessarily in a bad way; only in the way that you were clearly much better off in life than she was, and it made her feel a little self-conscious to think she'd been fantasizing about a chance with you, when, admittedly, you could do better.

You let go of your umbrella but kept holding onto Sam's hand, leading her to your bedroom, "come on, let's get you some dry clothes."

Your bedroom was the most 'you' room in the house. There was a double bed in the middle, a dresser, a desk with a computer and a whole lot of other things on top — books, a collection of pens, a couple of sketchbooks, small fantasy figures such as soldiers on horses and dragons — a mirror just beside the dresser, a bookshelf, and several pictures and fairy lights stuck to the walls. Everywhere Sam looked, there was a bit of you.

She hovered in the middle of it all, shaking from head to toe because of how cold her body was, and hyper-aware of the water still dripping from her soaked clothes and into the wooden floor.

You rummaged through your dresser until you found a comfy pair of purple sweatpants and a hoodie of the same color. You handed them to Sam, "the bathroom is just down the hall, feel free to take a shower and warm yourself up okay? I'll be in the kitchen."

Sam gulped down the lump still stuck in her throat, nodding along with your words, "thank you, you didn't have to do all this," her voice still held that same rawness to it, though the corner of her lips quirked up.

You let out a breathy chuckle, tilting your head to the side as if she just spoke a foreign language. "Yeah I did, that's what people do when they care about each other."

Under the warm orange glow of the fairy lights of your bedroom, Sam could count the specks of color in your eyes. She could drown in the ocean that was you and everything you made her feel.

Sometimes, you look at each other as if you're about to kiss.

Sam wondered if it was the same for you when she caught your eyes drifting to her lips. Before she could figure it out, you were sheepishly avoiding her eyes and walking off to the kitchen.

When Sam walked out of the bathroom, her skin now warm and her hair with the smell of your shampoo, you had just finished making two mugs of hot chocolate.

You heard her bare feet approaching you, felt her lingering gaze on your back. You could tell Sam wasn't allowing herself to be completely comfortable here yet. You hoped to change that.

Turning around, you were met with the endearing sight of Sam in your clothes, her hair still damp and cheeks now flushed from the hot water of the shower. She looked like your favorite dream.

You walked up to her, handing her one of the mugs, "now it's my turn to serve you," you winked.

Sam closed both hands around the mug, an inevitable chuckle escaping her.

You leaned back on the counter of your kitchen, hearing the rain that still poured outside hitting the windows. "Feeling better?"

Before answering, Sam took a sip of her hot chocolate, humming at the sweetness and warmth of it. "Much better."

"You can stay as long as you'd like," you told her, because you knew she needed to hear it.

Sam's thumb traced the rim of her mug. You could see her lips pulling thin, feel her uneasiness.

"I would like you to stay, Sam."

Thunder started rumbling in the distance as the rain picked up even more. Sam would be stuck with you for a while; maybe you should make the most of having her all to yourself.

You put down your mug and pushed yourself away from the kitchen counter. Sam could be fragile sometimes, you realized; there was a part of her that always remained guarded, waiting for the next blow to come. Yet you could almost feel the desperate calls of her lonely heart.

When you took a step closer to her, Sam didn't take one away from you, and it was all the confirmation you needed. She had a white-knuckled grip on her mug, though it relaxed immediately when your hand enveloped hers and you took the mug, putting it aside on the counter.

Sam was holding herself as stiff as a corpse; if you were anyone else, she would have taken her chance already, but you were you, and the fear that she might fuck it up spoke louder. Her eyes followed each of your movements though, her pupils blown wide and reflecting the vulnerability of a heart that started beating for you, for you, for you.

Both your hands eventually reached up to her cheeks, your fingers tracing her jaw and your thumbs brushing the skin beneath her eyes.

Inevitably, Sam melted in your hold, a breath leaving her lips as she closed her eyes for a beat. No one ever held her as if she was something precious. You always did.

First, your lips met her forehead in a kiss that felt like a promise. Then, your nose brushed hers when you leaned in; your breaths mingling as your hands found the back of her neck to pull her in.

You were gentle, so much so that Sam hardly felt your lips. You guided her into a chaste kiss, just a touch of your soft lips that fitted perfectly with hers. So perfectly, she'd dare say you were made just for her.

Small as it was, the gesture of affection got Sam grasping at your waist; her hands holding onto you with the same desperation as before. As if happiness, for her, was limited.

Sam didn't dare open her eyes when you pulled back. It was foolish, but she wanted to utter those three words just for the fact that you didn't go far, choosing to keep your forehead leaning against hers.

"Are you sure?" The words stumbled out of Sam's lips in an unsteady whisper as she took to memory what it felt like to have you this close.

You pulled away and she felt like crying.

It was only enough so you could look into her eyes, and there you saw everything she didn't want you to see. In those dark doe eyes that shone with the dim lights of your kitchen; you saw her fear, her loneliness; you saw the way she thought of herself as a person who doesn't deserve to be taken out of the rain, but who longs for someone to do so anyway.

"More than I've ever been in my life," you whispered back, pulling her in before you even finished speaking. You clashed your lips together, not holding back this time, because if she didn't believe your words, she would believe your touch; she would believe the way your hands tangled in her hair and how your tongue brushed over her bottom lip, tasting the lingering sweetness of hot chocolate there.

Yet, between each breathless kiss, you'd mumble, "I promise."

And Sam would hold you more firmly, her arms encircling your waist as she traced a path down your neck with her lips, confessions rolling off her tongue.

You had her at your mercy; she was yours. But you were hers too.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

It's been fifteen minutes already. Fifteen minutes of Sam glaring at her phone as if it would relent and type the message for her.

"Sammy, this is getting sad," Mindy popped a popcorn in her mouth, side-eyeing Sam's figure; who was huddled in a blanket on the couch beside hers, "just ask her already."

"Yeah, I will," Sam groaned, hugging her blanket closer to her chest, "just… finding the right words."

"The words are: 'do you want to go on a date with me? Yes or no?' Simple." A popcorn flew in Sam's direction as Mindy explained, "stop making a big deal of it, it's not like you guys never went out together anyway."

Sam pursed her lips, staring at the little picture of you in her contacts. It's true, you've met for outings multiple times already; but there was something more now, an incessant swarm of butterflies in her stomach whenever Sam thought of you.

"It's different," she said quietly, "I don't wanna mess it up." Her vulnerability dripped from each syllable.

Mindy softened at that, forgetting about the movie playing on the TV and properly turning to look at her friend; "you won't mess it up, Sam. She likes you, everyone can see it."

It felt nice to hear the words out loud, it made them all the more real — as if your make-out session from a few days ago wasn't enough. Sam could feel her cheeks growing warmer by the minute as she finally typed her message and hit send before the small bit of courage went away.

Mindy had been right, after all.

That night, Sam took you out for dinner and a movie; classic, but she learned that you loved the classics. Especially when you pressed your lips to hers again before saying goodbye, in a kiss that Sam would be happy to live in forever.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

The stairs that led up to her apartment weren't the most comfortable seat, but the empty hallways provided much-needed peace.

Sam buried her head in her hands, clawing at the roots of her hair. Her shirt was still damp, the smell becoming annoying. She could feel the back of her eyes stinging but she gulped back the feeling.

"You know you don't always have to wait for me down here."

It was almost magical, how your voice sent a wave of easiness through Sam's body. It was almost as if you carefully reached inside her chest and took away the burden there.

You were walking up to her, a smirk on your lips and a backpack hanging from your shoulder, "I know the way to your apartment."

Sam mimicked your smile, getting up with more haste than usual and meeting you halfway in the empty hallway. She didn't give you much of a warning before bringing you into a searing kiss, her hands cupped your cheeks and she had your bottom lip trapped between hers; chasing the feeling only you could give her.

A gasp escaped you when she collided with you. Your giggles got muffled by her lips and you took hold of her waist to steady yourself.

It's been four months since Sam started calling you hers. Four months since she's been able to gloat because you're her girlfriend. Four months in which she's been the happiest she's ever been in her life.

"I missed you," she spoke against your lips.

You kissed the words, frowning playfully, "you saw me this afternoon."

"Exactly," Sam's smile stretched further, "too long," and then she was leaning in again, and again, and again.

Sam could be intense sometimes, but you knew how to recognize when she was doing it for fun, or to forget about something else.

You took hold of one of her hands then, breaking the kiss she had you trapped in so you could place one to her knuckles, "is that cherry coke I smell on you?"

"Maybe," she dragged the word, her fingers intertwining with yours.

"Are you making a habit of having people throw drinks at you?" You raised an eyebrow at her before squeezing her hand reassuringly, "what happened?"

Sam let out a halfhearted groan, shrugging her shoulders as she avoided your eyes, "just some conspiracy psychos… and Tara is pissed at me."

"Did you guys have another fight?" You asked sympathetically.

"She was at this party and I tased a guy who was trying to take advantage of her, and now she's mad at me," Sam distracted herself by playing with your fingers as she spoke, "keeps telling me I should let her go."

In your four months with Sam, you learned how protective she could be of those she cares about, especially after what happened in Woodsboro. You learned that because you were now on that list too. You'd lost count of how many guys she threatened because of you already, each time you went out for drinks together and a strange dude decided to try his luck with you Sam would pull out her taser and aim it right where it hurts most.

In truth, you understood both sides. Yes, Sam could be overprotective sometimes; but she had her reasons.

"Family can be complicated, I would know," you pushed back strands of Sam's dark hair, never having enough of how she leaned into your touch, "but Tara will come around soon."

You felt the shape of Sam's smile on your palm right before she placed a kiss there. Part of you lived only for these sweet, precious moments.

"Hey guys," Chad's voice suddenly broke your peaceful bubble. You and Sam looked up to see him on the stairs, "come up here, quick."

Sam walked into her apartment holding onto your hand, and her grip only tightened when she saw what everyone was watching on the TV.

A student from Blackmore University had just been murdered, Mindy recognized him from their film studies class.

Tension lay heavy in the room, but especially, it radiated off Sam; you could feel it in the tremble of her hold on your hand when the reporter spoke about the several Ghostface costumes left at the scene of the crime.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Sam’s taglist: @milkiane @v1ci0us @alexkolax

[staytheword]

falling rain (preview)

falling rain — one shot preview [full story] [ back to general masterlist ]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• bang chan x female reader, other stray kids members are mentioned/featured, as well as other idols (itzy’s yeji, ateez’s san, nmixx's lily).

• non idol au, friends to lovers. angst, fluff, post breakup sadness, eventual smut (not in this preview).

• word count: 1.9k (1923) (full story will be around 10k)

You fell out of love. It happens. All you need is time to piece yourself back together. But as you and your friends meet for a movie night, you don’t expect your ex to be there - yet he is, and it looks like he’s doing much better than you do. Luckily, your friends are there for you - especially Chan.

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior​ ; @upallnight-s​ ; @changbinluvr​ ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan

• story taglist: @ughbehavior​ ; @upallnight-s​ ; @changbinluvr​ ; @tanyas97 ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @hyynee ; @moonlightcandy00 ; @drhsthl ; @flakeisthebest ; (let me know if you want to be added!) 

• author’s note: hello ♡ I’ve only been writing this for a short while, but you guys have been so kind to me, I thought I’d share what I am working on! It’s a simple premise but I’m having a lot of fun writing with Chan as a main love interest for the first time. Yes, it's about exes/breakups again, but it's a whole different perspective I promise! I wanted to write something about healing, friendship, and rain. Here's a very little preview. I hope you’ll like it ♡

The rain is cold against your skin. 

You look up at the sky through your transparent umbrella. Swirls of pale gray cover the horizon, blurred by drops of rain sliding down the plastic material. It was darker earlier - the rain will stop soon. 

The bus stops in front of you, its brakes squeaking. You close your umbrella and get on, sitting where you usually do, at the back, next to the window. Placed between your legs, your umbrella is getting your jeans wet, but you don’t care. You close your eyes, letting the music in your ears soothe you. You’ve been taking the same bus route everyday for years, so you know exactly how much time you have before your stop. It’s not like you’re afraid of falling asleep, anyway. You never sleep in transportation, and it’s not like your mind has been able to rest easy recently. 

Your playlist transports you through melancholic melodies, pianos and violins lulling your senses. Your favorite songs do not let you forget the ache - they remind you of it, softly, tenderly. That’s what you want, anyway. 

You’re not interested in forgetting. You just want to heal.

When you open your eyes, your stop is a minute away. You press the button and get up, ignoring the inevitable looks of the other passengers on the bus. People are always staring. Always judging. Often, you care. These days, not so much. You can’t control them, what they do, what they think. They’ll see the shadows under your eyes, the pale skin, the chapped lips, and they’ll tell yourselves, she isn’t sleeping much. She looks terrible. She must be going through something. 

So what if I am, you want to tell them? Aren’t we all? 

When you step off the bus, it’s barely raining anymore and you decide not to open your umbrella. You let the rain slide through your hair, against your hands. You’re so cold but you’re used to it. You haven’t been able to warm up in a while. The rain feels good, actually. It makes you aware of your body, of your skin. As you walk towards your apartment building, you tilt your head backwards and let the rain fall down your cheeks like tears. 

Daylight has almost vanished when you unlock your apartment door, and you step inside with a sigh. You’ve grown to hate this place so much, but there is nowhere else to go. You should look for another apartment, but moving seems like an insurmountable amount of shit to go through and you just don’t have the energy. Maybe in a few weeks. Maybe in a few months. Maybe. 

You start by taking a shower, the boiling hot water contrasting with your icy cold skin. You wash your hair, apply lotion. Your movements are slow but you get there eventually. Wrapped in your bathrobe, you open your closet and stare at your clothes. It’s not that you hate them, you just have no idea what to choose. You’re not going someplace fancy, so you end up slipping on a simple pair of jeans and a warm sweater. 

You should probably eat something, but your stomach is in a tight knot. There will be food at Yeji’s place, anyway. 

As you check your phone and realize you still have some time before you have to leave, you let out a long sigh and sit on your bed. You’re not sure you really want to go, but your friends organized this movie night a while ago and they are excited for it. Yeji’s place is perfect for it - she has a projector, which allows the movies to play as wide as the wall. Everyone has been tasked to bring their favorite snacks and drinks. It’s going to be a chill night, and you’ll be happy to see your friends, but everything feels exhausting. 

You promised you were going to be there. So you will go. 

It’s not like they will bother you, anyway. They all know you pretty well, although some more than others, but they are all aware of what is going on with you. No secrets to have. Still you don’t want to be a bore, and you know you’ll do your best to smile throughout. It’s not that they want you to - but you’ll still do it. It’s just who you are. 

At least he won’t be there. Yeji said he wouldn’t - had plans already, apparently. It would be okay if your ex was there - actually, you’ve seen him a couple of times already since your breakup. But you need to be in the right mindset - and today you aren’t, so it’s good he’ll be absent. 

You let out a long sigh and stand up to dry your hair. 

You apply simple makeup, a bit of eyeliner, some mascara. You put on your favorite necklace. You decide to wear perfume. Little things to make you feel better, like you aren’t crippled inside, like you don’t have a decaying organ in your chest. It’s recent, that you’re able to do that. A week ago you would’ve showed up in sweatpants and messy hair. 

Little steps. 

As you grab a tote bag to fill it with the snacks you bought yesterday, you get a text from Yeji. 

Everything okay? 

Come anytime&lt;3

She’s checking up on you and you’re grateful for it. Not a lot of people do, not even your closest friends. You don’t blame them - you haven’t been good company and sometimes it’s hard to find the right words. Some of them have been anxious that your breakup with San will mess up your friend group, and in fear of looking like they’re taking sides, they just decided not to say anything. They take care of you differently - but sometimes you hate that they can’t talk about it with you. 

Yeji doesn’t do that. She’s been there for you at every step - and it’s not because she blames or dislikes San. It’s just different for you and her, because your friendship not only goes way back when your friend group got together, but also way beyond. 

Leaving in 5, you text back, and she sends a heart emoji. 

Once you’re ready, you slip on your jacket and stare at your reflection in the hallway mirror. You look your normal self, except for the obvious exhaustion on your face, and the slightly vacant look in your eyes. 

You can do this. 

You won’t let your stupid, empty heart define you or your life.

When you get to Yeji’s, she pulls you into a tight hug. A few people are already there - Jeongin is already snacking on a huge bowl of popcorn, talking to Lily, who’s on her phone scrolling down Pinterest boards. Changbin and his girlfriend, the newest addition to your friend group, are bundled up under a blanket on the couch and wave at you. 

You follow Yeji to the kitchen, putting the cans of soda you brought in the fridge, adding your snacks to the pile on the counter. 

“You look really pretty,” Yeji tells you with a smile. “Is that the sweater we got together the other day?” 

“Yeah,” you nod. “I’m still not sure about the color, though.”

“No, it suits you. I promise.” 

You give her a sincere smile as she empties a bag of potato chips in a bowl. It’s quiet in the apartment, but you know it won’t last very long - except for Changbin, the loudest people have yet to arrive. 

“How was work today?” Yeji asks. 

“Fine,” you shrug. “Boring.” 

She gives you a long look. 

“You know you don’t have to stay there, right? You can find something else. With your skills it would be easy -”

“I know, Yeji,” you say in a low voice. “But not right now.” 

You play with your nail polish, chipping a small piece from your thumb. 

“Right now boring is good,” you nod, your voice a little more firm. “When I can focus more, I’ll look for something else. Promise.” 

She smiles, taking your hand to give it a squeeze. “I just don’t want you to waste away where you don’t belong. You’re worth so much more.” 

“I appreciate it.” 

You put your head on her shoulder for a second as Jeongin’s laugh resonates through the apartment. It’s a sweet and familiar sound, and you start to believe it was a good idea to come. 

Grabbing the filled bowls of potato chips, you and Yeji join the others in the living room. You sit down next to Jeongin, who quickly shows you the funny puppy video Lily has shown him, and you giggle at the screen. As Yeji starts to set up the projector, the door opens on a few more of your friends and you know it won’t be quiet anymore. 

Chan, Jisung and Minho are yelling about something, raising the volume of the conversation a million dozen decibels, and you shake your head at the sight of them. Chaotic and loud as they are, even in your state you are grateful for them, because whatever the circumstances they can always make you smile, or, at least, provide welcome distractions. 

They drop down in the remaining spots, either on the couch or the floor, Minho diving his hand down Jeongin’s popcorn bowl and Jisung arguing with Changbin about the type of beer he bought - of course, as usual, Jisung’s only answer to Changbin’s complaint is a simple traitor. 

“THIS AGAIN -” Changbin yells at the top of his lungs. 

You can’t help but smile. That game has been going on since Changbin moved out of his apartment with Jisung and Chan to move in with his girlfriend - Minho took his spot since, and there really isn’t any bad blood between them, but Jisung loves to remind Changbin how he abandoned them. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Minho says, sitting down between you and Jeongin. You took the spot at the end of the couch, a blanket covering your legs. “How’s it going?” 

“I’m okay,” you say with a smile. “What about you?” 

“Fantastic. Did you check out that link I sent you?” 

You start to talk a little - you and Minho work in a similar domain and it’s always nice to exchange ideas and anecdotes. You find yourself immersed in the conversation, the noise of all your friends chatting and laughing mixing into a background noise you can’t get enough of - it definitely helps the black hole inside your chest. You don’t feel so cold, you don’t feel so empty. You know it won’t last, and reality will catch up to you quickly, but for now you allow yourself to relax. 

“Y/N.” 

You turn towards Chan, who has stopped at your level. He’s smiling kindly at you, looking a little tired - but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Like you, Chan barely sleeps. Neither of you can stop the ceaseless train of thought in your heads - while you stare at the ceiling, Chan works. 

“Hey, Channie.” 

“You want something to drink?” 

“Yeah, maybe a soda.” 

“Cool, coming right up.”

“Oiiiii, what about me?” Minho whines. 

He asks for a can of beer, followed by Lily who has finished her previous one, and soon everyone is yelling at Chan to bring them something to drink. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, and you chuckle. 

“Let me help you,” you say, standing up. “Y’all are lazy,” you add, squinting your eyes at your friends. 

Their protests all tangle together and you laugh, following Chan to the kitchen.

To be continued :)

[thegodthief]

When I saw the length of entries in The Memoirs of Papalo Palo were considerable in yesterday's updates, I realized that AO3 would probably be a better home for the project. (That and I don't have any backups of it.) This morning I created the new work and copied all twenty-seven entries as chapters to an ongoing work.

Image Caption: "Language: English Words: 28,903 Chapters: 27/?"

Two-thirds of those words were written yesterday, over the course of the day as I played FFXIV on the desktop and had a text editor on the laptop to write the posts as I went.

I am stunned.

I am crying.

The idea of Papalo Palo came about as a "You know what would be fucked up make a good story? What if...", and the main points of the story unwound into the past from there. As I started playing the Lalafell character, Dter encouraged me to start writing a memoir of the character for others to enjoy and so I could stop telling her the story as I went. Sure. Why not? It would make good typing practice, anyway.

Papalo Palo reached CNJ 30 in one day without any help of gear, buffs, or hacks. FFXIV has been reworked to get new players to the end times end game as quickly as possible, after all. When I got the white mage job stone on him is when I realized that the story of Papalo Palo was going to be much bigger than just something for me to kick around. I created the side-blog, told no one of what I was doing, and threw everything in the wind.

Y'all know I'm still stalled on Book Two. It has been over a year since I last posted a new chapter, and the draft sits there and mocks me for my hubris. Y'all know that I have been in a bad way since October of last year. I have felt that I didn't have anything in me anymore. I couldn't make anything. I couldn't do anything other than put one foot in front of the other. I felt like I was only existing to serve other people and that there was nothing left in me that could create joy, much less share it.

Book One was a NaNoWriMo project gone good that I published in 2020. It is also over 100,000 words. At the time, I had the hubris to think that I could duplicate that for five more books in a series that I never intended to create from the jump, but the characters in Book One kept begging me to keep it going.

I fell down a lot in 2021. And in 2022. I barely remembered myself in 2023. Then I fell apart completely in October of 2023, and it has taken until a few weeks ago for me to consider that maybe I should make an effort at continuing to live.

And through all of these dark times, I would stare at the draft and no words would flow. I felt like my skill was dead, and that I was rotting from the inside out.

"I have all these words stuck in me, and they are rotting."

The Memoirs of Papalo Palo was an attempt to see if I could write anything again. If no one knew who was behind the character, then there would be no expectations of quality or quantity. Papalo could write a few paragraphs of observation or pour out his heart to flood the page in grief. No one would care.

No one would care if Papalo wrote something every day or in weekend spurts. It's a fanfic after all, and fanfic writers are notoriously inconsistent with timing.

Today, after I finished copying everything to AO3, I permitted myself the arrogance of looking at the total word count. To be honest, I was expecting no more than 10k for the entire work to date. Not... that.

I'm still crying.

I still have in me to write. I can make the words flow. I can take the thoughts of a character and put it down in a way that others can read, that others can feel.

I'm not worthless. Not yet.

I'm going to continue with The Memoirs of Papalo Palo and post the entries here and on AO3. And maybe, I'll be able to face the draft of Book Two fix that thrice-fucked opening chapter, and get Melissa on her way again.

We'll see how I fare in the light of the Crystal.

[dyed-red]

is there any chance of you getting back to Desiderata?😔

This is not @ you specifically anon, but I am getting a little tired of answering this question, and I'm going to be a bit snarky about it.

Yes, I am getting "back" to Desiderata, insofar as I ever "left" it, which I haven't. It's been about 10 weeks since the last update, or 2.5 months, which honestly isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, as much as I very genuinely understand the impatience of waiting for an update.

What I genuinely don't understand is why there's become this default assumption that it's abandoned. You're the third comment *this week* starting on the assumption that I've left it aside or am not planning to finish it.

I've said repeatedly in the comments and on here that I'm finishing it. I was always going to finish it. Its not marked as on hiatus or abandoned. If you look at the original post date to most recent update, it's clear the fic has been posted slow (actually in fits and starts) between updates, so this is par for the course, here.

I won't meander into personal stuff, but the reasons for why posting slowed are personal irl crap and not creative lapse. Another 10k+ words of the fic are already drafted and I've mapped out the core pieces that aren't already written, even if some of those may be re-written and/or strung together differently as I finalize the final few chapters.

And look, just wanting to repeat that this vexed tone of mine isn't @ you specifically, it's just that you were lucky caller 100 and I got a bit annoyed with repeating myself. But if you are open to the suggestion, I do recommend you ask authors about updates without starting from the assumption of abandonment. Not all authors feel the same about questions about updates so take that with a grain of salt, but at least in my case, a question like "any word on the timeline of an update? 👀👀" is more fun than "any chance of you getting back to this thing which I assume you've left? 😔"

More generally, most advice you see floating around is that if you want more of a thing you like, hype it up instead of being sad or demanding about it. Instead of asking for updates (which, again, I don't personally mind! It's the assumption of abandonment of a mostly completed story that irks me), the usual advice is to write a comment on ao3 about what you enjoyed about the story, maybe highlight a line or two, or even one each chapter. That can reinvest an author's energy (if it has indeed lapsed) by drawing their attention back to the parts of the story that are loved, and their attention to it is half the battle sometimes, getting them revved up from there as they re-experience the story from the reader's point of view.

If that's too much work, drop a compliment about the fic in the author's inbox instead of just a question. "Loving this story, [insert genuine compliment about plot, style, scene, characterization, or etc here]. I couldn't find it in the fic comments or your tag for the fic here on your blog, so just checking if there's any word on future updates? Either way have enjoyed it so far!"

Boom.

All right I'll stop soapboxing now. I try not to get grumpy with readers. I love how much you guys love this fic and I never in a million years expected half this much interest in it, to be honest. I literally had the draft open last night, it's not abandoned. I'm here with you, nonnie, wishing it wouldn't take so long but on the journey to see it finished anyway.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Sunshine Ashton Masterlist

back of a cop car (ao3) - cliffordsunshine Michael/Luke N/R, 2k

Summary: Michael and Luke get arrested together.

Comment, Like, Subscribe My Heart (ao3) - thesoulsailor Michael/Luke N/R, 54k

Summary:  It didn’t take more than the first three videos and Michael was hopelessly endeared. Luke was funny in an unintentional way and his words and stories were simply intriguing. The vlogs were a lot barer, broadcasted Luke’s life right into Michael’s bedroom. It felt weird, almost as if he and the blonde boy were friends, the way Michael learned Luke’s quirks and character, little things like the fact that Luke preferred soda over coffee. And Luke was not wearing make-up in some of them.

if i knew from the start, would it change a thing? (ao3) - acetominophen Luke/Ashton N/R, 35k

Summary: "All I painted was you, Ash. It was always you." But Ashton wasn't listening to him at all. His silver-lined eyes were trained on the hand-written words at the bottom of the canvas, unblinking.

Luke's gaze followed his and his lips parted because shit, he'd forgotten. He'd forgotten that he'd titled this one.

'Poisoned myself again. LH'.

let me love you (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor Luke/Ashton, Michael/Calum T, 10k 

Summary: Luke Hemmings is a rockstar with a troubled past. He's struggling with an alcohol addiction and a career that's going downhill, but Calum isn't giving up on him. Calum suggests Luke a fake boyfriend to help keep the bad press away. That's where Ashton comes in, Ashton who is an embodiment of sunshine. Luke's hesitant due to his failed past relationships, but he agrees, because he knows this is what he needs to save his career.

See With Your Heart (ao3) - nbfcknsht Luke/Ashton, Michael/Calum  T, 4k

Summary: Calum likes to joke and say that when Ashton was younger, he looked in the mirror and the reflection of him being a physical ray of sunshine is what made him go blind. Though that would have been a bittersweet notion, in reality, Ashton had been born blind and Calum was his best friend growing up.

Luke is a born pessimist, never being able to see that grand silver lining. Not like it's particularly that grand anyway. What is one person's silver lining, is someone else's rain cloud. That's just how he sees the world. The only exception is his best friend Michael, who can somehow get Luke to see something happy once in a while.

The events that lead up to an unconventional love, showing that while two people can be so different, similar circumstances can lead then to all the right places.

Sweaters (ao3) - felixandtae Luke/Ashton N/R, 48k

Summary: Ashton makes sweaters, gives them to people as a present and wears them all the time. No one knew why, and maybe it was very interesting in Luke's eyes, who smoked and drank more than he should.

But, Ashton's sweater-making hobby isn't for what people expected and the reason could break anyone's heart.

Sunshine (ao3) - Fleurwinks luke/ashton NR, 2k

Summary: Light was cascading through the window and highlighted Ashton's hair. His skin was gold and his eyes were sparkling and he just glowed. "You're kind of like sunshine," came out before Luke could even go over the words in his head.

Kind of a two times Ashton reminded Luke of sunshine thing.

Sunshine (ao3) - orphan_account Luke/Ashton T, 3k

Summary: Ashton and Luke finally reconnect after not seeing each other for four days.

Feelings and doubts ensue.

tie me to your fingertip (don't let me float away) (ao3) - diets0dasociety Michael/Calum, Luke/Ashton T, 22k 

Summary: Soulmate.

The world alone is enough to make Calum wretch. It’s a fine enough idea, sure – that somewhere out there is a person, just as oblivious as you, who’s destined to waltz into your life and make you happy forever – but it’s just an idea. A theory. Nobody knows how it works; nobody understands the tattoos. It’s just fate.

And, well, fate and Calum Hood aren’t exactly on good terms.

with you, we could be the only ones here (ao3) - orphan_account Luke/Ashton T, 3k

Summary: "I think you're from another world, and I couldn't love another boy. 'Cause you, make me feel like I'm intoxicated."

[phantomato]

Fic Writer Wrapped - 2022

Thanks for the tag, @yletylyf!

I’m answering all of this regarding what’s on my AO3 profile for the year, rather than trying to count things only on tumblr or in drafts.

How many stories did you complete?

29 stories, 10 > 10k, 19 < 10k.

What is your total word count for the year?

306k

What fandoms did you write for this year?

Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, David Blaize, The Charioteer, The Third Man. My goal last year was to write for more fandoms, and I have! There are a couple of others too, which won’t be revealed (even anon) until sometime in 2023.

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

Less. I was on pace to hit about what I expected (1k a day), but I haven’t been publishing much these past two months. This is where I make the distinction between AO3 works and all writing. I did write every day in November and hit about 1k/day. I just… wasn’t in a place where I wanted to share anything. I had been paddling furiously to avoid that slump and hit it anyway, and I wouldn’t have predicted a year ago that I would have slumped so hard.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

It remains, as it was last year, a Nottmort. I wrote Sieidi because I love cabin fic. It also went deeper into my magical academia worldbuilding than anything I’ve teased before, and it indulges in the sort of luscious descriptive details that I love. But this was my yearly flop, and I’m coming to terms with this just not being the fandom for what I enjoy most in fic.

Biggest fanfic-related disappointment of 2022?

A mid-year crisis this time, starting around August. Last year I wrote: “I am still pushing my own boundaries to find a happier balance of creative satisfaction and feedback/community within the wider fandom.” I found the upper bound this year, pushed myself too far into spaces that didn’t provide me with what I needed, and have spent the months since pulling back to try and find my center again.

In 2023, I’m hoping to put more of my writing energy towards spaces and projects that match my goals, and less towards fitting into ones which aren’t a good match.

Biggest fanfic-related surprise of 2022?

Writing for new fandoms has been a trip. I’m so touched by the enthusiasm of the people reading for The Charioteer, especially. One of my favorite pieces of writing this year comes out in February (probably! fingers crossed all the works are in by deadline) and is for the tiniest of tiny fandoms, which I could only have discovered by moving beyond the realm of megafandoms.

Something you look forward to working on in 2023?

I don’t know. I haven’t really opened my plot bunnies doc a lot in the past few months, I’ve left most of my HP WIPs untouched since October, and most of the HP writing I do work on is kink or other self-indulgence I’m intentionally keeping private.

I think I’ll probably sign up or write treats for the Candy Hearts Exchange, and I’m excited to know which tiny fandoms of my heart appear in that. I’m sure I’ll find new canons this year as a result of pursuing the tropes, themes, and settings I like best. Maybe that’s the biggest thing I’m anticipating: what new books I’ll have read in a year’s time, following the things I love to write.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 18: Injuries + Writing

Not a great day for me physically, but I got a lot of writing done, so I guess that’s good?

I pulled a muscle, I guess, in my back again. I’m not sure exactly that that’s what it is, but I think I’ve done it before, I think it happens from sleeping in a funny position, and if I remember right, the last time it was even worse and took several days to heal. It’s something behind my shoulder, and it is excruciatingly painful to try to sit up or roll over from a lying down position. I feel it during the day too, but there are fewer things I do while waking that really irritate it. It really disrupted my sleep last night though. I kept waking up and having a hard time moving, and I even dreamed about the pain. I was quite stiff when I woke up but it got better over time. I can still feel it, though, if I make certain movements.

Then on my way home from work, I slipped and fell off the side of the sidewalk and scraped a big patch on my leg below the knee. It was so fucking stupid. I was just thinking, as I do, and I didn’t realize I was right at the edge of the walk, and I stepped right off. I was wearing pants, which have some holes in them now, and I think that did protect my skin. It wasn’t as bad as twisting my ankle, but I still took a few moments to be able to stand up, felt rather sick, and had to hobble for a while. And when I got home... I just sat for a while, feeling these waves of pain on my leg. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced that before. The scrape isn’t deep, but it just... it’s a scrape! It’s sort of a burning feeling. Anyway, showering helped a lot, cleaning up the scrape, digging through my first aid kit, etc.

Even after all that, I ended up writing. I had some ideas in my head from yesterday and I felt like I had a good start so I just...wrote! A whole bunch. Over 2000 words in a little under 90 minutes, which is great. If I manage to tell this story in under 10k, I think I’m on track to finish by the deadline. If, as I think is more likely, I don’t finish in 10k, well at least I’ll have more time to write it? It might go faster soon... the early parts of my outline had sub-parts to them, and I was working with all/nearly all the characters at once. From now on I’m going to be splitting up characters and also getting rid of characters, so maybe the pace will pick up? At the same time, I value the integrity of the story more than competition. I won’t speed up for the sake of stuffing it all in under the word count, and I can’t cut stuff without re-writing so... the story will be what it will be. And that is possibly the only spooky thing I’ll finish this Halloween season, which is not what I was expecting, but here we are!

[the-duckless-pond]

Hello diary!

It’s been a few days (I think - I lose track of how often I make these tbh).

Lots has happened, assuming it has in fact been a few days. I had my first Japanese test of the semester, finished my first French chapter of the semester, and went to the Renaissance Festival again! And I only had like, one maybe two bad days. Overall things are trending upwards mood wise.

Let’s start with the Japanese test.

This chapter was all about healthcare terms and going to the doctor, so the test was full of that stuff. I drilled kanji for hours prior to taking the test and I am really glad I did because I am pretty confident that I read and wrote them all correctly on the exam! The listening portion wasn’t too bad - it was someone going to the doctor about having a cold. The dialogue portion was just as bad as the Nakama 2 workbook is, where I had to just… intuit what advice a doctor would give based on the vocab I know??? I think that is very dumb. So I probably lost points there. The reading portion was kind of tricky because it used some unfamiliar kanji, but I’m getting better at deciphering meanings from radicals and placement in words and sentences, so I think I did alright. Overall I would say I probably got a B! Woo!

Not much to report on finishing the French chapter to be honest. I am still struggling with doing an independent study, and am definitely glad I dropped the other one because it would have just been too much. I have to take the class eventually, but I have two years for that. Plenty of time. All that’s left for next week is writing my first big composition, which is only 300 words. And as someone that has written like… 700k in fanfic and maybe 10k in French short stories, I can do that in my sleep. So I’m not overly concerned. Hoping to finish it on Tuesday and then get ahead by starting to work on chapter 2.

Way more importantly, I got to go the Renaissance Festival again!! My friend Dan invited me (I feel comfortable calling him a friend now I think) and we left around 10am, bright and early. I was so excited that I went to bed at like 8:30pm and woke up at 6am on the dot. I was super on top of things too! I had my outfit all set out the night before, had my bag set up with my fun money and ID and hand fan, and anything else I could conceive of needing.

I wore my mustard linen dress because it is my closest approximation of a medieval peasant outfit, my sneakers, and my sunhat. I’m really glad I wore the hat because there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and it was super bright all day! Although my head did get kind of sweaty, but that is to be expected in 85 degree weather.

I can’t remember what we did when we first arrived since we had about an hour to kill, but we ended up meandering over to the Highland Games because Dan wanted to sign up for the keg toss! We found a shady spot and ran into one of his friends and chatted and watched people throw large branches. It was super cool! And then it was time for the keg toss, and he threw it 32 feet and some change!! It was all very impressive to me. I also made a friend who was watching too, and we exchanged tumblr info! That’s the first friend I’ve made in ????? ages! So that was really exciting for me.

Sometime between watching the branch throwing and the keg toss I got a soup bread bowl and devoured that because I had breakfast at like 7am and was hungry. I also had my one and only mead of the day and it was wonderful! I kept thinking that I wanted to go back and get another and got the wristband so that I could, but I kept forgetting to mention it. Oh well. Next time I will try again.

Anyway, after the keg toss we went on the mission, the entire reason I was so very excited. The mission to get another sun catcher! And I found the perfect one.

That is it in the evening light! I get direct sun in the mornings and I just know it is going to be sooooo pretty. I can’t wait! I am staying up late studying tonight and depending on how I feel after all that is done, I might actually try to stay up until the sun comes up just to make sure I get to see it. Alternatively I could set an alarm for like 8 or 9am, but it’s my weekend and I kind of want to do something dumb like stay up all night. I had such a nice day that I don’t want it to end, you know?

Anyway!!! After completing the mission, it was time to watch shows! We wandered over to the Harmless Danger’s stage, a juggler, and saw a pirate show instead. Then we saw the end of some other show about lifting? I can’t recall the troupe’s name. After that we saw Rogue Blades, a comedy sword fighting show, and Pictus, a bagpipe and drums band! By that time it was 4:15pm and we had been there for like 8 hours, but there was one more show to see! We went to the next stage and saw the latter half of a circus act that was really cool and made me want to learn circus tricks, and then we saw the final show of the day - a practical magic show! I even got picked to go on stage!! Dan took a video and I have watched it several times now. It was great fun.

Usually I make these entries when I am upset or something bad has happened like Boo getting sick, but today was just a really really good day and I wanted to share something nice for a change. Also I am paralyzed by indecision on where to begin with my studying and needed to waste some time.

Well, I guess I’ll wrap it up here. My bff is texting me and maybe she has advice for getting started on tasks.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

Ok first let me respond to our convo LOL

Omg Mira truly soccer coded guys…1) hope you guys manage to stay cool! 2) NOOOOOO your unintentional rizz is actually too strong…props to that dude who helped you though omg!! Hope you guys are all okay though and that this doesn’t happen again that’s actually the worst…

Ok commentary

MIRA YOU ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!!! Omg bfb Karasu edition was SO!! GOOD!!!!

Ok first of all jaw to the floor. No. Jaw through the floor THE WC??? You weren’t kidding about that but I feel like I just got surprised with like winning the lottery oh my god (smh tumblr for making you split it into two..) Ok I was ballparking 33k as the final THIS IS INSANE

I laughed though I read part two first and I was like “oh ok maybe there’s a flashback part?? We’re diving right into the college scene”. . . ……………….anyways

Ok but BABY SNOTTY KARASU >>>>>> awww the way that he’s just a cute little sibling who likes tagging along with his sister is so adorable….the first part where he started crying after playing trains and immediately stopped when his mom suggested watching tv is so funny LMAO

Also SHSGSHS THE “drowning” SCENE LMFAOOO ok that was so wholesome though…like y/n saving him the embarrassment from yayoi and furthering their trust in each other (??)…so good….

I saw that sneaky foreshadow where yayois like “stfu bro I’m gonna date a model” then I was like oh here we go Yukimiya incoming LMAOO for once no suffering for him though!!! Breaking the vicious cycle LOL

Ok but I LOVE the way that the whole kinda premise of the story relies on how y/n isn’t able to distinguish between romantic and familial/platonic love as an only child….like omg…maybe I’m just a sucker for tropes where characters haven’t fully developed a concrete/full understanding of the intricacies of love??? Kinda like bfb Otoya but in a different way!

Ok and I love the reasoning for the hair wax…like Karasu’s hair is just so untamable that they have to use heavy duty wax to keep it in place (this lowk reminded me of artistic swimmers and how they use like gelatin to full on encase their hair LOL)

Also just comparing the two I love the way that yayoi and seiko express their thoughts about y/n and their respective brothers differently? Where yayoi was like oh yeah we all kinda knew and expected it it’s whatever and where seiko is almost slightly in denial-ish and although ends up figuring out the signs is still like “you better not make her cry bitch” to Otoya LOL ofc the story context and circumstances kinda set that up but I enjoyed the different avenues!

DRUNK Y/N LMAOOOOOOOO omg that was lowk funny like atp I thought she was just gonna full on confess but plot twist there’s more!! Oblivious y/n still has yet to fully grasp her feelings……

Honestly there’s probably so much more I could say but either way THIS WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT!!! Truly feeding Karasu nation a year’s worth of content this was amazing…..IN MIRA WE TRUST o7 can’t wait to see what you put out next!! But also take it easy this was huge LMAO Omw to go reread that masterpiece

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO i was born to be into bllk fr 🤩 and yes we have been doing our best!! it’s a struggle at times but not entirely impossible 😰 BRO IT WAS SO SCARY i was lowkey frightened asf but it all worked out for the best!! thankfully the other guy was there and said smth because i was lost…ig if he hadn’t been there i would’ve eventually thought to text my dad or brother to come from their seats to help me but lowkey the thought did not cross my mind in the moment 😭 hoping it doesn’t happen again fr though!!

COMMENTARY TIME LET’S GO!! YAYYYY I’M SO GLAD IT LIVED UP TO EXPECTATIONS 😋 and i told you the final word count was going to be insane ghdkdjsjs throwback to when i thought it was going to be less than 10k words…i cannot believe it ended up at over 40k LMAOOO like that is literally unreal to me 😟 what karasu does to a mf 😓

LMAO i hope you didn’t get too far into part two before realizing because part two is def better with the context of part one 😩 like i said in another ask i wish tumblr would’ve let me keep it as one part (that’s how it is on ao3) but oh well 🙁 hopefully most people don’t get confused and read part one first HAHAH

BABY KARASU WAS SO FUN TO WRITE TBH him with his little trains and his book about bugs and his blue raincoat with mittens UGHHHHH he’s so cute 🥹🥹🥹 and you know he was so round and squishy the entire time too omg i literally want to eat him

you know i had to include it 🤩 but i decided to make it a display of their bond (which as we know is very different than the one he has w yayoi) instead of anything too crazy…also slight foreshadowing because y/n mentions she won’t ever let him go and as we find out in the future she truly is incapable of that!!

YUKIMIYA IS FINALLY FREED FROM THE VILLAIN ALLEGATIONS!! HAHA i was giggling adding that little line in there 🤭 like yup you already know yayoyuki is CANON (to me) i had to foreshadow just a tad…to be honest they feel like they would be a very cute couple because yuki is so patient and kind versus yayoi is very sassy but also mature in a way?? they give very “he asked for no pickles 😐” energy HFSJSSK idk if that makes sense 😭

OKAY I’M GLAD THAT DIDN’T FEEL FORCED OR CONTRIVED OR ANYTHING i rlly wanted to show how she is just as badly in love with him as he is with her but she just doesn’t get it?? like girl…this is not normal friendly behavior…plus her dating the one guy from her high school threw another wrench in things because she liked him but LOVED karasu so she got the two things confused i guess?? I DON’T KNOW yayoi explained it better in the fic 😭 but it made sense to me considering how long y/n has known karasu…like yeah when you’re six years old you’re not in love with anyone but even back then she always gravitated towards him and i feel like it was almost inevitable in a way that they’d fall in love because of just how close they always were

NFJDNDSK i’m imagining karasu to have like a version of nagi’s hair but a little straighter and it sticks up a bit more?? so that’s why he has to use the wax because he literally just looks like an idiot without it 😰 plus i thought messy haired baby karasu fit so well with how he acted!! so now in my mind that’s the real reason for his crazy style 🥱 like if you’re going to put wax in it might as well do smth fun yk

i think that because of the length of karasu’s version we also really get to see yayoi’s friendship with y/n a ton!! especially because most of the scenes between karasu and y/n also include yayoi it’s very explicit how close the two are and how much they care abt each other 🥹 seiko on the other hand wasn’t as present in the otoya version because it just didn’t make sense for her to be there ig?? and also otoya and y/n’s relationship was much more lighthearted and resolved much faster compared to karasu and y/n’s…like a quick “fix yourself and we’re good” versus sixteen years of pining 😓 i wanted seiko and yayoi to feel like different characters especially considering one is a younger sister and one is older hence their diff reactions to the eventual relationship (plus yayoi is like 22 and seiko is 16 when the reader gets with their respective brothers so that definitely contributed) ☝🏻 also to be fair seiko has watched eita cheat on a bunch of girls and be bad at relationships whereas yayoi has seen tabito only ever be in love w y/n his entire life (and same for y/n honestly because lbr she was NO BETTER) so she no matter how much she bullies him she knows he’ll take things seriously and is probably the only person that’ll treat y/n as well as she deserves 🤩 but yes long story short i didn’t want to just have a “default sister best friend character” i wanted them each to feel unique and at least a little developed in their own ways even though they don’t even have NAMES in canon let alone personalities or anything like that 😔

DRUNK Y/N HAD ME LAUGHINGGGG poor karasu is such a saint for getting up in the middle of the night to carry her back to her apartment, give her water and food, wash her face and do her skincare, and then GET KICKED OUT AFTERWARDS 😭😭😭😭😭 i think her kissing him back at first was her confessing in a way but until yayoi talked some sense into her she just didn’t realize and thought she was a terrible person for taking advantage of “little baby tabito” like that (meanwhile he is a fully grown man who kissed her first)

YESSSS SO GLAD TO PROVIDE FOR KARASU NATION LIKE ALWAYS 🫡 i have two reqs for him that aren’t yours so more karasu content is on the horizon…however up next are my last two requests from my milestone event which are both for hiori!! so a little break from tabito 😲 i need to like reread white butterfly or smth to get into that mindset again 😭 but yes i have no idea when those will be out and they def will be on the shorter side because WHEW bfb took it out of me!! although i have the entire plane ride back home coming up so it’s very likely i’ll get bored and start working on it soon enough anyways 😨 the mira posting drought is hopefully over though!! i bet ppl thought i was on hiatus because of how long bfb karasu version took to finish and post 😓💔

[jodilin65]

So glad my massive editing job is finally coming to an end. I may not have done a perfect job, but it is what it is. I'm not going through nearly 10K entries again. I tried to not only correct things but also make them more consistent. However, sometimes "OK" was "okay," and that's fine. I've noticed that different speech-to-text programs write things differently. One may say "10:00 AM" while another may say "10:00 a.m." Any idiot can understand what I'm saying, though, and most importantly, I get it.

Soon, I'm going to be getting into other things, mostly creative writing and crafts. Just for fun, I may run some of my old stories through AI and let it correct them. I don't like all the changes it makes, but the ones I do like simply correct things without changing the story itself, and I appreciate that. I don't want it to take away from my own individual creations and give me something entirely different that makes me feel like someone else wrote them and they’re not my stories.

I wish Aly were alive to enjoy these new technologies! I miss her so much. I'm sure she would have found AI helpful for some things. I absolutely love it and can't imagine going back to life without it, just like I said when Tom introduced me to computers in 1993 and then when Alexa came around in 2015.

Anyway, I don't have to run my writing through the text reader anymore. I can just skim it, give it to AI, and then skim it again to make sure it didn't change anything too drastically. It does like to tone down my swears, though, LOL, but that's OK. I still let Grammarly have a go at it the first time around. It works while I write.

Soon, I'm going to go through my last manuscript, the blackmail story with Nane as my muse. I haven't met anyone lately that makes for a good muse, so I'm using old ones. Some were people I've seen on- or offline, some came from dreams, and some came from my vivid imagination. I don't know that I'll crank out three or four stories a year like I used to, but I'm determined to finish what I start.

I'm also going to finish my latch hook rug once and for all and start the cross-stitch kit I have a feeling I'm going to regret getting. I also have adult coloring books and diamond paintings to do, plus there's acrylic painting and my oil pastels. Maybe I'll even go back to studying and practicing languages because it's good brain exercise. It's hard work, but it's fun, too.

I'm continuing to have on-and-off stomach cramps, and sometimes I even feel slight nausea. Tomorrow is lab day, so hopefully, I'll get some answers, though I don't think this is anything serious. I doubt it's connected to my liver. I'm worried I'm going to have a bunch of bad numbers just the same, but there's only so much I can do about that. Of course, they're going to call when I'm asleep since nobody can use the damn portal. The worst numbers I'm expecting to come back are cholesterol. Hopefully, my TSH will be under 10 and my A1C will be good along with my WBC. I'm not sure what to think about my thyroid because I still feel like I have hypo symptoms. I've been in a good mood, and I'm chilly at times. I have a little bit of hair loss and dry skin as well. If it's not under 10, I don't expect it to be over 15. I'm guessing it's going to be 11 or 12. The question will be why. Is the gland dying some more, or are stomach issues blocking the absorption of the medication?

Last night, I had several dreams involving my old ENT. We were goofing around playfully, and she was carrying me somewhere. I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and said, “I love you.” Then I quickly added, “In a friendly way, of course,” so she wouldn't get the wrong idea.

It's weird because I'll go a while without dreaming of her and then all of a sudden she's in several dreams. Part of me regrets rejecting friend and message requests on Facebook in case she made good on her word and contacted me, but I know she wouldn't. No one ever reaches out to me first.

[fieldsofview]

3. 10. 17.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I've got this idea for a total AU - something post-apocalyptic with the planet irradiated and barely livable, along with a military-elite who are controlling all the resources. Ya know, you're typical anti-capitalist stuff narrative lol. (very Fallout meets The 100 meets The Last Of Us).

It has a Gwen Stacy who's been accidentally exposed to radiation in a way that's given her spidery powers and makes her able to fight against the nuclear weapons being used by the elite. Her father works for the upper class and she's always known they're not great, but not to the true extent. She slowly finds out that the ruling class aren't just kind of shitty but there's actually a whole conspiracy theory thing going on. MJ is a freedom fighter for the resistance group fighting against the elite and the two end up sort of working together. Queue falling in love but also MJ ends up kind of using Gwen as a tool and hiding things from her 'for the greater good'.

I can picture the scene where they fall out. The fight. The emotions. The sides taken. The hurtful words thrown about because they both care too damn much. But it would require SO MUCH to get there and idk if I'll ever write that fic. Maybe someday.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

At least with SMH it's been pretty methodical, which I think is making all the difference compared to previous WIPs. I made the outline in a haze of hyperfixation over like 3 days. Then I tweaked the outline a bit over the next week or so.

But since then, I just sit down for whatever length of time and just put one sentence in front of the other, following my outline. I've very rarely deviated from the OG outline, more adding things than making changes. As I've gotten closer to the end, I've been making more minor changes, but even still I'm following it pretty closely.

The outline was over 10k words though, so it was pretty darn detailed. Idk if that will work for future projects, but I'm going to aim for it again.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Gosh I have no idea how people perceive my stuff tbh! I hope they like it and notice all the details I put in. I've been trying especially hard to focus on not holding the reader's hand as much and trusting them to see things without it all being spelled out.

I also think, especially with SMH, that people are expecting a happier, cookie-cutter kind of ending because so much of us want that catharsis after what NWH put us through. I'm not saying SMH won't have a happy ending. It will, to an extent. Peter will end up in a better place than he was at the start. But it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, and not everything will be all tied up with a bow.

Especially with my writing from more recent years, I have focused less on tropes and pairings that I want to read, and more on telling a story that hasn't been told yet. That's what Under The Moonlight was, that's what SMH is, and my side WIP (temporarily titled Hopeless Devotion) is also like that. I've realized that, at my core, I'm lazy. If I can read a story already, I don't have a desire to write it myself. But if I can *feel* a story in my soul and can't find anyone else who's already written it, then I end up dragging my ass out of bed to put it on paper. Because I want to read it. You know?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING SEEK!! <3

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 24 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word Count: 10k

Previous | Next

Tags:  penetrative sex, it’s a little rough, oral (m & f recieveing) they 69 i’m sorry, dirty talk, an attempted lap dance, reverse cowgirl because we love women who ride, slight degradation, praise kink, spanking, doggy style, little hair pulling and breath play,

Song Mood

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

“No!” 

“What do you mean no!? Baby be reasonable you can’t tell me you’re gonna cook all of that.” Jungkook glared down childishly at the cart only semi full of groceries that you had crossed off the list you had made before dragging Jungkook out, if he had it his way, you’d both be at the theme park right now. 

But seriously, his fridge was empty! Nothing, and you were not eating take out, again. It was ridiculous. So in effort to combat the increasing desire to cook at home, you compiled a list of meals you wanted to make and eat before demanding Jungkook go with you to the store because hey, if he wanted to live together then this was going to be a team effort. 

You had asked Jungkook what he wanted to eat as well and he shrugged saying he really didn’t care and therefore, the world was your oyster in terms of cooking, “Me be reasonable!?” You replied back indignant, an angry pout on your face as you flailed your hands, “You’re the one who tried to put two 24 packs of soda in the cart, a box of snack cakes, matcha snowballs and mochi in the cart? You think I’m gonna let you add ice cream to the list as well?” 

You knew Jungkook had a sweet tooth but you didn’t realize just how big of a sweet tooth he had and before you knew it, you were constantly making Jungkook put things back, he glared at you and you glared back at him. War sirens could be heard to anyone passing by you both as he gripped the tub of ice cream stubbornly. 

“It’s either mochi or ice cream Jungkook, we’re not getting both.” You replied as you crossed your arms. And for the first time in your life, you watched Jungkook’s lips quiver into a pout, puffing a childish breath as he turned around in defeat, going to put the ice cream back. 

You had to stifle your giggle because you knew he’d take it as a challenge otherwise, he was just too cute sometimes. You found his sweet tooth, in fact, endearing. Most men in his position would probably try to act all tough and manly, only liking things bitter like their personalities but Jungkook? Far from it. 

Jungkook came back with his arms crossed and that broody pout still on his face making you smile unable to stop your giggles making him even more broody as he took the cart from you with a huff, “Stop laughing at me! You’re cock blocking all my favorite snacks.” 

“Is that all you buy by yourself? Just snacks? That’s not healthy!” You giggled even more at the way he rolled his eyes, obviously your guess was correct, “Besides, once I start cooking you’ll appreciate it, I just know it. And,” You raised your brows as your lips puckered together, “You were the one that wanted us to live together, this is on you.” 

Jungkook huffed as he pushed the cart, looking down at the list that was laid out on top of your purse, “How is that going by the way?” Jungkook’s expression melted to one of curiosity as he raised his brow, “Have you talked to your landlord yet?” 

“Yeah,” You paused at the fresh produce outside the isle you both excited as you grabbed onto the cart, it was slow today and much appreciated so you wouldn’t have to battle over food with people, “The apartment is still in good condition even after...what happened,” Your lips twisted into a weak smile as you grabbed one of the reusable bags you always used at the store as you placed a fresh stalk of chokboy inside it, “My lease was getting ready to come up anyways so we agreed that with two months of rent he’d terminate my lease. I’ll get that to him Monday and then I’ll have thirty days to pack up everything and get it moved.” 

Jungkook nodded, “Which by the way, everyone agreed to come over and help clean up later today,” Your lips quivered into a pout...you...when did he even ask them that? You knew everyone had of course offered help but well, you hadn’t expected anyone to actually come and help you...well besides Jungkook but that was just a given. 

“Don’t look like that,” Jungkook snorted, reaching out as he squished your cheeks, a tiny smile tugging on your cheeks as you grabbed his wrist, pushing him away, “They asked by the way, I didn’t do anything. It just got mentioned in the groupchat.” 

“I didn’t see it.” You frowned as you checked your phone and much to your confusion you were right, there weren't any new messages to your notice.

Jungkook’s smile was a little sheepish as he shrugged, “We have a guys groupchat.” 

“That I'm not a part of!” You cried out with a pout as you crossed your arms, your expression sulky, you obviously weren’t surprised all the boys had their own chat, you were a part of so many it was hard to keep track but, couldn’t they ask in the main one? Where everyone was a part of?

“Well you aren’t a guy baby,” Jungkook cooed out, saccharine dripping on his tone as he squished your cheeks, “Besides…” He had a lopsided smile on his face as he leaned on the handle of the cart, “It was supposed to be a surprise but….I can’t help myself. I didn’t want you to cry again.” 

It was hard to not smile as you pushed him away playfully making him shove you back as you pulled the cart along, “I can’t believe everyone really wants to help...I mean...I just figured it’d be me and you.” 

“Well believe it or not they are your friends too now,” Jungkook snorted writing off on the list you made as you placed fresh tomatoes into the bag you had set the bokchoy in, “What are you even gonna make with this shit?” He furrowed his brows. 

“Food! I was gonna make some bulgogi one night and some porkbelly another with banchan and maybe some jjangijanma? I’m not just spending money on food that's gonna go bad Koo!” You stomped your foot in annoyance at why he kept complaining about you feeding both you and him decent food, “We can’t live off takeout, I’m not gonna stand for that! And!” 

You pointed a finger at him, “I want to get some paint for the living room! And some curtains because what if some creep is staring at us at night?” You shuddered, at the irrational fear but you couldn’t help it, regardless of how irrational it was you wouldn’t stand for it, especially if it was an easy fix, “Along with a rug too for the living center- oh! I was thinking about maybe finding a coffee table for the couch too? Too put in front of it?”

“Okay wait, wait, wait, slow down,” Jungkook held out his hands, his expression bewildered at your sudden long list of demands for the apartment, “Just because we’re living together doesn’t mean you can just hijack my apartment.” 

“Sure I can,” His lips parted indignantly as you smiled brightly with a shrug, “It’s not like you bothered to decorate anyways and I’m sure your landlord won’t mind a fresh coat of paint on those musty looking walls. Besides, it’s not yours anymore, it’s ours. You think we could get some new lighting for the kitchen too by the way? The white light really makes the grey walls look gross.” 

Jungkook puffed a breath, a brief smile on his lips as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, “Let's just focus on one thing at a time first okay?” You squealed at his words, bouncing in excitement at his approval of letting you completely hijack his apartment but honestly, it reeked of lack of care and testosterone. It could use a feminine touch, “We can start off with some paint and lighting, that I can do. And….” He rubbed his neck, “It’s not like we don’t have time, I just got a call from Sejin this morning telling me Cherry isn’t gonna be open until Monday.” 

You frowned, “Isn’t that when SSU starts though?” How was that even gonna go? You doubt a lot of people- if any at all would show up, especially given what had just happened. Would it even still be on this year with everything that’s happened? 

“Yeah that’s the ploy,” Jungkook shrugged, just as unsure as you as he answered, “A lot of free and cheap entertainment, drinks will be half off, Sejin and Bang are really trying to make the most of Cherry’s comeback to try and bury what happened. You’d be surprised at how superficial people are, especially men when it comes to strip clubs.” 

You sighed wistfully as you shrugged, you wouldn’t deny him there, men were strange creatures and you wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of business did come back without a care in the world for what happened as long as it meant cheap drinks and naked girls.

“But hey! That gives us more time to prep for you,” Jungkook smiled that charming bright smile of his as he bumped into you making you whine a little as you bumped him back despite a smile threatening to tug on your lips, “Meaning I got a strip pole to install when we get back to the apartment. We won’t need Cherry anyways to choreograph now.” 

You were wondering what that package was on his front porch anyways, he had only smiled that smile of his as he shrugged innocently but apparently he had been wanting to get a pole for the apartment for awhile now. 

“Well I already have some songs picked out,” Your smile was a little timid at that pure enthusiasm Jungkook always radiated with pride when it came to you and work, “You’ll have to tell me in detail later just how things are run for SSU. But anyways, this is the last of what we need so let's go check out.” 

Jungkook wheeled the cart to the checkout where you carefully placed things back into the reusable bags which Jungkook complained about but you didn't like using plastic when it wasn’t needed. 

For the first time, doing mundane things such as grocery shopping was actually rather fun, Jungkook and you would banter the whole time and he despite complaining was just as curious and involved in getting things for you (and just as what had happened, trying to bring extra things into the cart as well). However he did get his own snack as well. You just weren’t gonna let him go overboard.

Bringing groceries in was also easy as Jungkook had made it a competition he easily won by bringing them in bulk, proudly showing off the muscle he had despite it being hidden beneath the bagging clothes he often wore. 

Unfortunately Jungkook looked like a lost puppy, unable to help as you began to unload them into the fridge, debating on where to put everything as he sat back at the chair at the table with a fat pout on his face making you giggle, “You can join in the say so if you want, I don’t mind! It is your fridge. Have you ever even gotten a full grocery shop before?” 

“No.” Jungkook sulked as he crossed his arms, making a flutter of laughter escape you, “I don’t know shit about where to put what in the fridge!” 

You waved him over as you shook your head, and reluctantly Jungkook got up and peered over your shoulder, “Everyone does it different, but this is how I do it. All the big stuff like milk and dairy go on the main shelving,” You patted the first level where you had placed your oat milk, the sour cream and cheese at, “These little shelves are for smaller stuff like butter! And the drawers on the bottom hold produce like the bokchoy we have.” 

Jungkook wrapped his arms around you loosely as he set his chin on your shoulder, listening intently to you ramble and explain how you placed things into the fridge before muttering to him about how to arrange things which Jungkook would offer suggestions on, some you’d agree excitedly with and others you snort and dismiss. 

You enjoyed doing domestic things with him. It didn’t take long for all the groceries to be put away and you were admittedly excited to start turning Jungkook’s apartment into something more...bright...You didn’t want to say Jungkook’s apartment was ugly. It just felt...void of personality and flair that you knew it had the potential for. 

And it wasn’t like Jungkook lived in a bad part of Seoul, it was a lovely neighborhood and apartment complex he lived in and because it was so close to Gangnam it was extremely expensive, the only way he could ever afford it was because he was a stripper. He had told you he only started renting here three years ago. 

So you knew this apartment probably came like this and only deteriorated over time as Jungkook didn’t live hard in it, but he didn’t maintain more than needed. With a little bit of love you knew this place would be a lot brighter and happier. 

“Just hold down the bottom,” Jungkook directed as you steadied the pole, he stood up on a chair as he installed the top of the pole, you both had to rearrange furniture and Jungkook respectively asked for your opinion as this was your domain that you would be styling in the future and you both had agreed that the pole would look back towards the further right corner just a little left of where the TV was, but enough space that there was no chance of hitting the wall or anything else. 

You definitely had some work to do with this place but you were already getting ideas that you were excited to try, the rest of your summer, which was coming to a fast end, wouldn’t go to waste.  

“I am!” You replied, looking up at him with a pout as you steadied the pole. 

“Then why are you wiggling so much?” Jungkook huffed as he gripped the top of the pole making it stiff as he finished tightening the top. 

“Don’t be mean! I’m trying my best!” You replied back with a cry making Jungkook snort as he rolled his eyes, finishing up he hopped off the chair, holding out his hands, your eyes narrowing on them as you grabbed them. 

“I’m not being mean,” Jungkook tutted as he pulled you up and against him, you tried your best to make an angry face but it failed as he leaned down, bumping your nose against his, “You’re just being a baby.”

Your expression curled a little as he smiled that smile of his as he looked away, “See? Pure baby material.” 

You stomped your foot before latching onto him, your arms around his neck as you spoke, “You like it when I’m a baby!” You defended yourself, making him chuckle. 

“You’re right, I do.” He relented playfully as he sighed dramatically, “I do. I wouldn’t want it any other way then seeing your sulky, pouty little face every day.” He bumped your nose against his once more as your lips lightened into a bright shy smile as you leaned up, letting your nose brush his in acknowledgement, “Are you ready to go? The others are headed over to your apartment.” 

You nodded, “Mhm, I just wanna get it cleaned oh and…” You offered a cheeky smile that you knew he would groan about, “I wanna bring some of my mugs and plates over...it’s really sad you live off styrofoam.” 

“Oh my god.” He sighed as he hung his head causing a string of giggles to escape you, god you loved this man. 

“Man this place is a mess,” Seokjin wrinkled his nose as he swept up broken glass, “I mean really, it’s seen better da- Ow! Hey you punk!” Seokjin had dropped the broom to rub his bicep at the harsh punch Jungkook landed against his arm, his glare sharp as he briefly looked over at you. 

Kneeled down your fingers ran through the soil of the potted hosta you had bought from the supermarket, it had been dying and you were slowly nursing it back to health. Now all its leaves were dried up and crumbled from the days without nutrition or water. Placing the chunks of pottery into the plastic bag you remembered the day you bought that pot too. 

It was from the local pottery store and the woman who ran it was so excited that you had gotten it because it had been sitting on the shelf for nearly three months despite having the cutest illustration of a lone weak tree on it. 

You remembered thinking it was that most adorable thing on the planet and just knew it’d look good sitting up on that old wooden crate you stood up right as a stand. You hardly even realized tears were trickling down your cheeks as you held up the broken pottery piece that had the small tree on it. 

“We’ll get you a new one babygirl.” Jungkook kneeled down beside you with a soft tone as he wrapped an arm around you, your lips immediately quivering as you sniffled harshly, trying not to cry. It was dumb, these were all things, just material items, at least they weren’t you. But in everything you did and bought, you did it was so much passion and utmost love. 

“...It was from the pottery store, theren’t aren’t any more like this.” You mumbled with a sniffle as you closed your eyes in defeat, tears trickling down your face as you wiped them. Shaking your head, “This is so stupid to cry about!” You flopped the piece into the bag, feeling frustrated with yourself, you were tired of crying, tired of feeling your heart ache over the tiniest things. It was too exhausting. 

“No, no, no it’s not!” Jungkook immediately defended, grabbing the piece from the bag, “These are your things babydoll, and I know how much your space means to you. It’s okay for this to be hard,” He pecked your temple as you closed your eyes again, warm watery tears sliding down your cheeks, “There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.” 

Your hands trembled as you covered your eyes, your shoulders bouncing as you silently kept your tears to yourself, Jungkook’s lips pressing into your hair as his hand soothingly rubbed your arm that was wrapped around you. 

After a moment of mourning all of the precious memories you made in this little apartment you called home, you wiped your tears as Jungkook asked if you were okay, nodding you continued to wipe your eyes as he helped you bag up the rest of the broken pot. Tenderly Jungkook took the bag from you as he rubbed your back once before getting up. 

Sighing you shook your head, wiping your eyes one last time as you stood up.Stupid...even with Jungkooks vaildation which you knew he was right about, you couldn’t help but berate yourself, it was dumb to cry about things like this when there was better ways you could exert your energy. 

Having dried your tears and having a moment to regain your composure you finished up cleaning all the pottery and glass that had been scattered on the floor before walking into the living room your lips curled a little at the confused expression Jimin sported. 

He was holding up a cloth, inspecting it closely as if trying to figure out what it was was but obviously finding no success due to the many rips in it, “It’s a tapestry,” Jimin jumped a little as you sat down on the couch beside him, “...Was a tapestry,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, “I found it at a flea market when I first came to Seoul, back when me and Seulgi lived together that was our first week on being in our apartment and it was horrible,” You shook your head as your nose wrinkled, grabbing a side of the ripped tapestry in fondness, “I mean there was water stains on the walls, the paint was chipped and looked like it had been due for a new coat for over ten years, the toilets hadn’t been scrubbed and the bathrooms were wrecked. It was horrible.” 

Jimin peered at you curiously as you traced the design of a large lotus flower that had been on it, “Seulgi just started crying the moment we walked through the house for the first time because the pictures online made it look a lot better. And of course I thought it was terrible too, but later that week exploring Seoul, I ended up finding an old flea market stall and came across this.” 

Your lips curled into a proud smile as you held it up, “And I realized that, just because that’s what our apartment looked like when we first got there, didn’t mean it had to continue looking like that. Seulgi dragged her feet and wouldn’t come with me so I painted all the walls, cleaned up the bathrooms and got new apparel to put in there. It didn’t happen fast.” 

You clacked your tongue as you sighed, “We were pretty broke at the time because even with us splitting rent it was still expensive. But slowly and sure, it came together. And we left that apartment better than it ever was. I was proud.”

You looked at Jimin only for him to scoot a little away from you as he joked, “Maybe you should’ve gone into interior decorating instead of dance? Jungkook could really use the help, he has zero sense of taste when it comes to anything besides himself.” 

You briefly flickered your gaze to Jungkook who tried to not make himself so obvious that he was keeping an eye on you both, his gaze immediately shooting away from you as you sighed, you knew Jungkook would apologize on his own time but that didn’t mean you still didn’t feel bad, “Jungkook told me…”

You didn’t need to elaborate for Jimin to know exactly what you were talking about, his expression visibly put out as he slumped back against the couch, running his hands through his hair as he groaned, “I mean I’m not surprised, but he could’ve kept it to himself…You know what, maybe you’ll tell me what the fuck is wrong with him?” 

Your lips parted a little, somewhat taken aback at just how strong Jimin came off, clearly still sore about yesterday- not that you could blame him, you knew how Jungkook was, but still…you had never seen Jimin in such a...hostile state. And a part of you felt a wave of guilt...had it not been for you...Jungkook wouldn’t be like this…

You had to pause to think about your next words carefully, because you knew if not said the right way, it could be seen as defensive, which wasn’t your intention, “...Well...I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with Jungkook,” You spoke softly, folding your hands into your lap, “He just....” Your eyes fanned around the room realizing Jungkook must’ve gone back to the kitchen, otherwise it was just the two of you, “...Jimin…” You sighed as you lifted one foot onto the couch, wrapping your arms around your leg as you gently laid your head against it, “There’s a lot of stuff going on with him lately. There’s a lot of things that he’s ignored about himself and bottled up, and...it’s all come out recently. A lot of wounds he never even tended to, have been ripped back open for him.” 

“I just don’t understand him,” Jimin sighed, lifting up the fabric of the tapestry once more as he shook his head, “I thought I knew him, but I guess I don’t huh.” You frowned a little as you pulled the tapestry from his hands, folding it up as you shook your head. 

“It’s not you, he just...I guess he thought he could bury it, or run from it...and he can’t.” You smoothed out the edges, “It’s brought out a lot of deep rooted insecurities from him. And Jungkook knows it’s not like him, but it’s not something he can help. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made things tense between you both....” You couldn’t look at him anymore, feeling a sense of shame in you as you stared down at your fingers.

“It’s not your fault!” Jimin immediately defended you, which was appreciated but you still felt bad, “You did nothing wrong.” 

“I basically gaslit him when he thought I was pregnant with your kid and instead of just staying in, I forced us to go out and not only that but somehow during all of that, I seriously thought blowing you would be a good idea.” Jimin deflated a little at your words as you stared at him in exasperation. You didn’t force Jungkook to go out technically, but you had pushed the whole day.

But only because you knew something was bothering him and he’d never be like that normally, you should’ve respected what he wanted regardless but you just thought….thought what? You felt pathetic trying to defend your motive that day, but it had been truly innocent up until what had happened at the afterparty. You had assumed Jungkook would eventually perk back up and have fun because he loved going out, you wouldn’t have pushed him had you understood what was really going on. 

“Well you do sound kinda like a bitch when you put it like that,” Jimin muttered, looking at you as you looked back at him, a smile curling on his lips and one threatening yours as you snorted, “But we both know it probably wasn’t like that. You had his best intentions at heart. And I mean you’re right, blowing me wasn’t a good idea, but I mean…” He shrugged, that dumb smile on his face as he shrugged, “Listen, it is what it is, you and I both assumed he wouldn’t care, clearly. And it was a shit move. The most you can do is just let it go and move on, I’m assuming he told you about what he told me?”

You nodded, setting down the tapestry coffee table as you hummed, “Yeah he told me, and it’s not like I could be mad at him, he’s struggling, with a lot internally and I think once he works through it, things will be okay. But it’s just going to be a work in progress until then.” You could distinctly remember Jungkook’s anger, the way he seemed frustrated with himself. 

It was going to be a process, “Besides...It seems like Jungkook isn’t the only one who hasn’t told everyone everything either...and I really hope you both know that it’s okay to have some things stay private.”

Jimin said nothing, only looking down at his hand that he flexed his fingers out from, wiggling them a little and his expression seemed downcast, “...I used to wanna have kids,” You glanced at him in surprise, not at his words, but you didn’t think Jimin would want to talk about it, it was something very personal to him clearly and he owned you nothing, “Me and my girlfriend used to talk about it all the time.” 

His lips flickered into a small smile as he looked down at his hand, as if remenscising a memory you’d never know about, “She said she always loved baby smiles and loved little kids sitting down with her, she used to work at a daycare- so I thought, why the hell not?” Jimin’s tiny smile began to melt off her face, “She thought it was her- that was infertile. But I got tested too with her, she just so happened to get her results back faster.” 

Jimin’s face became void as he lowered his hand down, “It was late that night and she had offered to stay past her shift because they were low staffed that night but I never got to see her again, a drunk driver clipped the back side of her car and flipped it.” 

Your lips quivered a little into a frown as you folded your hands, Jimin’s lips twitched into a bitter smile, “I got my results that morning.” You could see swirls of lingering mourning and rage inside his eyes, it was very similar to not only Jungkook, but Rosé’s as well. They all had things they were struggling with and it made your heart hurt for them, “God is one cruel motherfucker.” 

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled softly, your hands folded into your lap, wanting to give him a hug because you knew anybody in Jimin’s position probably needed one, but you also knew, this was a bad time, and that it wouldn’t be appropriate given everything that had happened up until this point, “I know that doesn’t change things for you. But, I do hope you find happiness.” You offered a tiny smile. 

Jimin sighed as he stretched out, shrugging loosely, trying to play it off like he didn’t care anymore but he above all else should know it wouldn’t slip past your eyes the way he was still sore about it, and he had every right to be, “It’s been years now,” He deflated, “I spiralled out of control after that, and eventually I stumbled across Cherry Bomb.” Jimin’s lips curved a little at the memory, “I was drunk and I wasn’t sure if I was just hallucinating or if it was Yeji on stage. It wasn’t,” He clarified before snorting, something oddly melancholy in his eyes as he muttered, “It was Rosé,” His lips curled into a semi ironic smile and his brows furrowed as if only slightly amused, “They don’t even look close to alike. And I remember seeing her in class the next day before realizing she was a stripper and she just begged me to not tell anyone.” 

Jimin heaved a breath as he stretched out before sitting up, “But I didn’t wanna tell anyone, I wanted to be up on stage. It sounds stupid but, that night I was drunk, I figured who’d care if I just left the world too?” His gaze lowered a little, “But my drunk stupid ass thought it was Yeji on that stage, and I cried at the bar the whole night before Yoongi eventually kicked me out at closing, and even if they looked nothing alike, even if it was just a desperate drunk delusion, when I saw Rose the next day, I saw hope. And so I asked her how I could start dancing because it was obvious I saw her for a reason.” 

You sniffled a little, wiping your eyes as Jimin did a double take, “it wasn’t that sad christ…” He looked a little awkward as you giggled, “And…” His gaze became sharp, “Don’t ever tell her any of what I just said. She’s my best friend and I love her but that’s not a conversation I’m ready to have with her- if ever.” 

“I’m not Jungkook,” You giggled as you wiped your eyes, “Of course it’ll stay between us- and maybe Jungkook too,” He groaned as you offered a small smile, “It just made me emotional, that’s all. I can’t relate, I don’t know what that feels like. But it makes me happy you and Rosé are so close.” 

“I am a lesbian,” You both jumped at Rosé who put her hands on the couch, a bright smile on her face as she answered pointedly, “I mean we already agreed to get married platonically if we’re both single by 30 but I draw the line with dicks. Unless it’s rubber it’s not getting near me.” You snorted as you began howling out laughing, Jimin looked a little flustered, not at her words but at her appearance before relaxing as he rolled his eyes. 

“So why all of these affectionate words? Did I do something?” Rosé smiled teasingly as she placed a hand on her chest waiting making you giggle as you shook your head while standing up, shrugging as she pouted, “Hey no fair! You can’t keep secrets from me!”

You offered a small smile as you replied, “Sometimes, the longer a secret is kept, the sweeter it is when they tell you.” Rosé waved her hands walking back to the hallway as you giggled. You were glad, if anything, that you had the chance to talk to Jimin and not only this, but for him to share such a personal thing with you. 

“Are you really okay? With everything going on I mean?” Hyerin frowned, she had texted you earlier in the morning asking if you’d be interested in getting drink’s together and of course, leave it to Jungkook and Yugyeom both for that matter to butt in. 

They were off in the distance playing pool, Hyerin said she wasn’t a fan of bars but when you offered a lounge she seemed excited as she had never been, it was a nice place, lowkey and quiet but good for a night out or even a place to study during the day. 

You both sat at the counter watching Jungkook and Yugyeom play against a few others here at the lounge, “Well, I have to be,” Your hands curled around your drink, not wanting to think about what had happened a few days earlier and it was difficult to keep up with just how many traumatising things had happened within a week, “For Jungkook’s sake...and…” You sighed softly, “It’s not like there’s anything that can be done for me right now. That’s just gonna take time…” 

“Awh, I understand. I just wish things hadn’t taken such a sharp turn, do you know when Cherry Bomb will open back up at least?’ Hyerin stirred her drink as she leaned back against the barstool, watching Yugyeom and Jungkook look like little boys triuphanting over their victory together.

“Monday, by the sound of it...But nobody is even sure if we’re gonna have a crowd, even with SSU starting that night. Regardless me and Jungkook are gonna stay busy with choreographing, he’s really excited about it.” Your lips tilted upwards a little bit at the memory of how much enthusiasm he had, you were happy to see him happy. It was just like him to be like that, “How have things been...at the dungeon with...you know...Shownu was it?” 

Hyerin snorted, taking a sip of her drink as she rolled her eyes, “Same old, same old, he causes shit, makes dom’s hate him and gets away with it.” She crumpled the paper her straw had been in as she flicked it against the countertop, “Honestly, Yugyeom wants to find a new dungeon, the drama just isn’t worth it. I’m glad you and Jungkook don’t go regularly.” 

You tilted your head as Hyerin offered a weak smile, “It’s hard enough keeping Yugyeom from beating the shit out of Shownu and getting us kicked out. Jungkook and Yugyeom together?” You let out a weak laughing, beginning to understand what she meant, “I mean they’d probably send him to the hospital…” 

“They would send him to the hospital,” You offered a weak smile, even without Yugyeom’s help Jungkook totally would, let alone with it? Hyerin was right, that was a bad mix even together, you hadn’t had the chance to talk to Yugyeom fully but you had the feeling, that despite being more relaxed then Jungkook was, he could get just as defensive as him, easily. Maybe even more so, “What is the reason Shownu is still allowed around anyways?” 

You both didn’t have the time to visit the dungeon much but you got the impression that if you did, you’d probably be a lot more involved in the drama given Jungkook’s inclination to always step in, “Ah…” Hyerin relented as she rubbed her neck, “Shownu is just good friends with a lot of the dungeon owners, and if you’re on good terms with them? You’re pretty much untouchable. I don’t know all the ends and outs but…” Hyerin frowned as she looked at her cup, “Word is that some of the girls have been disappearing at the dungeon and...Some of the dungeon owners might be involved...I don’t know. We haven’t been for the past week ever since we found out. Yugyeom wants things to clear up before we go back.” 

You shuddered at the idea, being a little to familiar with the feeling, you could understand Yugyeom’s concern, for anyone’s concern really, Jungkook would be, and is the same way, “Seems like trouble in paradise everywhere these days,” You sighed wistfully, even in the areas of your life you weren’t so involved it, were having trouble now. 

You just wanted things to become normal again, when they weren’t so tense and your only stresses were exams and being naked on stage. It seemed so...insignificant in comparison now. Things were the way they were, so you wouldn’t complain about them, and at the very least, you and Jungkook had each other and you’d make it through this. 

But still, it was hard to not wish for things to be easier again. When your life wasn’t put on the line as well as Jungkooks, which he hadn’t exactly clarified but...You couldn’t ignore your gut instinct that was telling you he was in just as dangerous of a position.

“Tell me about it,” Hyerin sighed before suddenly perking up with a thought, “Oh…! You know what,” She turned you, her smile a little shy now as she asked, “What if you came over and we hung out one night? I have tons of coloring sheets at my apartment and snacks too! Yugyeom is pretty strict about snacks but he’d totally be willing to let us have some if it was a get together!” 

Was she talking about- Oh...your face felt hot at the mention, feeling a little shy but you did like the idea, sounded like...a nice break from the harsh world you were constantly having to endure day in and day out, “Sure…! We could do it tomorrow night if you wanted? If you’re free of course!” 

Hyerin bounced in her seat in excitement, “That’s perfect! And bring as many stuffies as you want, I have a whole collection I want you to meet.” You both began giggling and Hyerin needed to shut up before she slipped and you could tell her excitement was getting the better of her. 

“Oh I know that look,” Yugyeom called out, him and Jungkook both finished with their game of pool, his smile soft at the sight of her excited bounce and wigglyness, “What are you two conspiring?” 

“Well!” Hyerin crossed her arms, looking away with a little bit of sass as she spoke proudly, “Me and Y/n are having a playdate tomorrow night and you both aren’t invited.” Your eyebrows lifted and your gaze darted away from Jungkook’s who looked both thoroughly amused and yet daring you to try and piggy back off Hyerin. 

“Oh?” Yugyeom raised his brows, somewhat amused, somewhat challenging, “And where am I supposed to stay? Our bedroom?” Hyerin’s lips parted a little before she hmphed, crossing her arms, “As long as you aren’t mean to her I don’t care.” 

“I won’t! Y/n is my friend!” Hyerin pouted a little, grabbing your arm defensively as you smiled shyly, your hands folded as Jungkook sat down next to you, pressing a kiss on your head. 

“As fun as it’s been these two need to be separated, look at them,” Jungkook snorted in amusement, his eyes dancing with affection as he tenderly stroked a hand through your hair as you curled up against his touch, “They’re gonna send each other small in excitement,” Jungkook, knowing you contained the urge to coo at you as he spoke, “What about me though? Hm? Am I excluded too?”

Your lips quivered into a pout as Jungkook smiled fondly, his hands squeezing your cheeks, “No…” You mumbled, your bottom lip jutting like a fish as his fingers pressed into your cheeks once more, the puppy expression on your face just too cute for Jungkook to resist tapping your nose, “You can be there.” 

“Oh thank you so much baby,” Jungkook whispered, unable to stop the soft coo that escaped him, your arms immediately latching around him in a hug, as you looked up at him with a bright shy smile, “You’re always so thoughtful of others huh?” He leaned down and pecked your forehead. 

“Okay yeah, I gotta take someone home,” Yugyeom sighed but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face at Hyerin now attached to him, he brushed his hand through his hair before snorting, “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow huh, no courtesy of you.” He pinched Hyerin’s side making her whine, “Come on sweetheart, let’s go.” Hyerin bounced a little as she hugged unto Yugyeom who only smiled. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Jungkook waved them off before tutting, “You were gonna make plans and leave me out baby.” He said exasperatedly, a playful tone in his voice but you still shook your head. 

“No! That was Hyerin...I…!” You crossed your arms, a sulky glare on your face as Jungkook chuckled, “That wasn’t me!” You whined, leaning against Jungkook as he wrapped an arm around you, “She just thought it would be fun to get together and- and I just thought!” 

“Thought what?” Jungkook smiled boyishly as he raised his brows in amusement, “Thought what baby? Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Thought it’d be nice to just not have to deal with everything for the night,” You mumbled, feeling a bit shy to admit it. You had felt self conscious when it came to anything about age regression, things had gotten a little better since you had talked to Jungkook about it but you were still a bit shy and admittedly...being with someone like Hyerin, who did the same thing, it made you feel, not so self conscious. 

“Well you’re more than welcome to at any time now that we’re gonna be together all the time baby,” Jungkook clacked his tongue, a playful smile on his face as he pressed a kiss to your head once more, “Buy hey, it’ll be a good way to relax tomorrow because we’re working the rest of today and all of tomorrow on your dances since we go back Monday. We’re gonna be cramming baby.” 

You whined at his arm squeezing you making a flutter of giggles escape you, pressing your head against him as he affectionately pressed a kiss on top of your head once more, “Are you ready to go then baby? We got lots to do at the apartment.” You supposed, Jungkook was right, and admittedly, you were looking forward to working with him on it. 

“No….No...Baby come on, I know you can do better than this.” 

You stomped your foot as you turned to Jungkook who was laid out on the couch, though obviously not impressed with your choreography was clearly enjoying the show regardless, a boyish smile crossed his lips at the sight of your annoyed expression. 

“Instead of sitting there just staring at my ass why don’t you help if you don’t like it!?” You crossed your arms, a sulky pout on your face as he chuckled, sitting up before walking over to you, his arms on your shoulder as he pushed you back to the pole. 

“I am helping,” He whispered playfully in your ear as you felt your face go red, shoving him a little as he laughed, “I’m being the audience, and I can tell you the audience won’t care for it.” 

You groaned as you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once more in frustration, “Then help me! What would look better oh sex dance master.” 

“I am the sex dance master,” Jungkook retorted with a chuckle, that stupid smile on his face as you puffed a childish breath, “And instead of starting out leaning on the pole like every other basic bitch, you should start laying down, and kick your feet up onto the pole.” 

“Did you just call me basic!?” You cried out, Jungkook only looked down at you, a smile still on his face as you groaned, grabbing your head as you looked up at him in disbelief. 

“Why don’t you lay down baby,” Jungkook redirected only more amused at your cry of frustration before complying, laying down on your back you set your feet up against the pole. Jungkook kneeled down as he nodded, “Mhm, and just…” He grabbed your wrists delicately, crossing them before he pulled them up over your head. 

Standing up he backed away a little, “Arch your back a little,” 

“I’m laying down.” You complained as you twisted your head to look up at him. 

“Arch your back.” Jungkook repeated more firmly, making you heave a sigh, uncomfortably curving your spine as best you could, “Now lift your chin a little,” You frowned before doing so, “Okay, okay, and...close your eyes and act sexy.” Your lips threatened to curve into a smile as you snorted, doing so, “That’s not sexy.” 

“I’m trying my best,” You opened your eyes, lips jutting a little as you glared up at him, “And this is my best.” Jungkook rolled his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips as he sat back down, “I’ve seen your best sweetheart, that’s not it. Now start the routine from there, do a few kicks or whatever you want from here before getting up.” 

Closing your eyes you sighed, trying to come up with something and the only thing you could think of however was letting one leg slide down the pole before slowly extending it back up, extending your other leg off the pole before walking them a little. Letting your feet lean to the left a little you lowered them to the floor before lifting your upper body up, looking at Jungkook who shrugged, tipping his soda can at you making you whine, “Bad?” 

His face scrunched a little and he hesitated for a second, “It’s not terrible...but you could do better. First move was nice, second was a little lacking and you know they think it’s cooler when you’re actually on the pole.” 

Laying back down you set your legs back on the pole, “So leg down is fine,” You lowered your leg to your chest once more, “extension is fine?” 

“That’s a good part,” Jungkook nodded, “Now do walk, walk,” You mirrored his words with your each little step, “Just two, then take your feet to the left and lift up. Don’t prolong it. Now lift your arms up and grab on with reverse.” 

You could strip yes, but...pole dancing….? It came with the trade but you still weren’t what one would consider your strong suit. Carefully you placed your hands in reverse grip, “Now pull yourself up.” This was easy! You pulled yourself, feeling triumphant, taking a few steps before adjusting your grip and doing a fan kick to the front. 

“There you go baby,” Jungkook nodded approvingly, his lips curled in that proud smile of his as he leaned back in his seat, “ You couldn’t help but feel shy at his words but continued with one more step before letting go of the pole, pressing your back against it as you slowly slid down to a pole sit, “My thighs are burning,” You whined, “You think I should do a button up for this?” You fiddled with pretend buttons before pushing yourself up. 

“I think,” Jungkook stood up, walking over before squeezing your chin, “You should do what you think is best, baby. I’m here to help not coach.” He whispered as you tried to push him away with a giggle as he pulled you back closer, “For what it’s worth I think you look pretty sexy no matter what.” 

“Stop! You whispered back feeling flustered and giggly pulling away from him as a closed mouth smile tugged on his lips, sitting back down on the couch his eyes were only slightly lidded but you could see what that meant from a mile away. 

“You know what baby? I think we might need to brush up on your lap dancing again,” Jungkook opened his arms, his thighs parting comfortably as he gestured you to his lap, your body immediately warmed as you whined a little, unable to deny him as you shuffled to stand in front of him, attempting to sit on his lap but his hand latched onto your hips stopping you, “Ah...what are you supposed to do before a lap dance baby?” 

You whined again as you shuffled in spot, Jungkook clicked his tongue, his hands tugging down your sweatpants to reveal your panties, you had anticipated getting laid today leaving you in a plain cotton underwear making you semi shy, Jungkook wasn’t having it though as he tugged you onto his lap, “Stop whining,” he whispered in your ear, his hands gripping your thighs before making their way to your ass, “And start making me feel good baby, show me how you do it.” 

You couldn’t resist pressing your face into his neck as your hips began circling against him, you could feel his cock beginning to stir as he let out a soft moan. 

His grip softening on your ass and his hands guided them ever so slightly, your clit beginning to rub just the right way on his jeans making you whine, “Mmph…! Jungkook!” Your hips becoming more desperate as you began grinding on him harder as your clit throbbed pathetically. His hands patiently guided your hips as he suckled tenderly on your neck. 

“That’s it baby, get those panties nice and messy for me.” He moaned softly, his hands squishing the cheeks of your ass in appreciation as you continued to grind against the the growing bulge in his pants, burying your face further into his shoulder as you whined.

“You’re not supposed to touch me during a lap dance…!” This wasn’t fair! Jungkook only squeezed your ass even harder making you jump a little as you were suddenly jostled onto the couch.

“You call that a lap dance baby? I’ve seen you do better.” Jungkook clicked his tongue as confusion washed over you as to what he was doing before you squeaked at one leg being straddled over him, your hands grabbing his stomach for some sort of support but that clearly wasn’t what Jungkook was aiming for, he carelessly pushed your back making you collapse down grabbing his thighs. 

Your face like it was burning at the realization of what position you were in, “...Jungkook!” You whined trying to pathetically crawl away from how close his face was to your throbbing cunt. It was expected for him to forcibly pull you back, a hand slamming against your ass making you squirm with a whimper, “Don’t wanna hear one word about it sweet heart, you know what I want you to do?” Jungkook’s voice dripped patronizingly, “I want you to suck that cock and if you do a good job maybe I’ll give this little cunt a good reward.” 

His hands left no room for debate as you whimpered at the feeling of your panties sticking to your cunt, your hands fumbled with the hem of his sweats before pushing them down along the Calvin Klein’s he was sporting today. His cock bounced in search of you as your lips quivered a little, sure you had slept together too many times to count now but...it didn’t ever make it less intimidating to blow him, especially in a compromising position such as this.

Sucking it up though you positioned yourself onto your forearms before giving a small lick to his irritated tip that was already beginning to dribble with precum, “Don’t you fuckin’ tease baby. That’s not what I asked.” Jungkook growled, his hips lifting a little in chase of your tongue and you couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped you as you gave another kitten lick to his tip once more. 

Jungkook’s teeth gritted before you squeaked at the feeling of your panties being ripped off at the sides, “Jungkook…! Those were expensive!” Sure they were loungewear but that didn’t make them any cheater!  Jungkook ignored your whine though as you whimpered at his tongue suddenly pressing onto your sensitive little bud, a gasp escaping you as you lowered gaze despite not even being able to look at him, “Mmph…! Jungkook…” you mumbled, your cheeks burning and your hips unable to resist rocking against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut.

A hand harshly striked the cheek of your ass making you jump as you whimpered, Jungkook’s tongue immediately being removed from your clit, “Suck, suck it you little cockslut, make that mouth useful baby.” Not wanting to prolong any sort of punishment you did as told, positioning yourself as best you could before taking his tip inside your mouth, suckling along his head tender before slowly bobbing your head to take him further.

Jungkook’s hands softened against your hips and you heard a low moan from him before his tongue rewardingly met your clit again, the notion had your thighs squeezing against his head and another whine vibrating against his cock as your head began to bob faster around his cock before you pulled off him to take a deep shaky breath at his persistence in suckling your clit.

Jungkook’s hands guiding your ass to ride against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut tightly, “Mm! Jungkook…!” It was hard to focus on any sort of task when he was putting you through this, his hands squeezed warningly immediately putting you back to work.

Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock before lightly tugging it, your tongue dragging on the sensitive underside of his shaft. 

A hiss escaped Jungkook’s and his impatience attempting to get the better of him as his hands squeezed your ass before his mouth attached back to your clit, suckling and pressing his tongue down against it, flicking it rapidly making it difficult for you to do anything escape whimper against his cock as you attempted to keep the same energy for him. 

Squeezing a little on his base you took his tip back inside your mouth before bobbing your head as your legs trembled from the force of his tongue roughly playing with your clit, a hand smacking your ass making you jump but your hips were forced to stay in place with no choice but to take it as your eyes began to water. 

Taking his cock further into your mouth intending to go all the way until it hit the back of your throat, you could feel the pleased expression from Jungkook due to his moans of contentment on your cunt, his hands soothingly rubbing your thighs in coax to keep going for him. Wanting to please you hurriedly took a deep breath before slowly sinking further down his cock, your throat immediately stinging unpleasantly and your eyes watering as you heard low moans and long sigh of contentment from Jungkook, “Mmm, what a good girl, so good baby, keep going, keep sucking that cock.” His lips parted, dragging his tongue back to your clit making you gag on his cock as you whined, backing your hips further against his face in desperation. 

You bobbed your head sloppier at the feeling of his tongue delicately flicking your clit before he wrapped his lips around the tiny bud, something about the sensation sending you feral as the orgasm suddenly lit through your veins making you gag and whimper as your body squirmed against him. 

Jungkook’s hips lifted a little at the feeling of your mouth wrapped so tight around him, “Ah fuck! Such a good little slut for me baby, fuuck.” Jungkook let his head rest back on the couch as he sighed contently, his hands soothingly squeezing your ass cheeks as his lips parted a little, “Shit, shit baby! Mmm.” Your throat was painfully stinging and salvia was pooling down your chin before you pulled off him briefly to take a deep breath, “Such a good girl baby,” Jungkook cooed coaxingly, “C’mon baby, ride that cock for me, wanna watch you go dumb on my dick.” 

You whined a little, wiping your face with your arm before you carefully further down the couch, Jungkook’s hands guiding your hips to stop just at his cock which was bobbing in seek of friction. Your walls felt empty clenching around nothing and you wasted no time changing that. 

Sinking down on his tip you closed your eyes as a shallow moan escaped you, the feeling of his thick shaft splitting you open as you began bouncing on top of him. 

“Fuck baby, what a nice little wet cunt, keep going sweetheart, keep fucking going.” Jungkook inhaled through his teeth, trying to compose himself from wildly slamming himself into you like he wanted too, “Faster baby, I know you can take it.” You whine, lowering onto your forearms for more leverage as your hips started bouncing faster, your walls clenching around him harshly and his tip hitting all the right spots inside you as you whined with a shaky breath, sinking all the way down on him slowly before wiggling your hips. 

This notion made something inside Jungkook twitch before he growled impatiently, his tip nearing an angry bright red as he pulled out of you making you jolt a little as you shifted, being broken out of trance as you whined, “Jungkook…!” He wasn’t having any of it though, sitting up he shoved you further down onto the couch making you whimper as he yanked your hips up. 

“I know my little baby was having her fun but do you feel this?” Jungkook situated himself on his knee’s, your cunt presented to him as he slapped his cock against it as your lips quivered, “That’s your fault babydoll.” You didn’t even have a chance to defend yourself before the head of his cock pushed inside you once more only this time being at his complete mercy before Jungkook took liberty and slammed into you.

Your body was being jolted and your hands were hanging onto the couch arm for dear life as you cried out, “Ah! Fuck, fuck, Jungkook…!” You whined at the force his hips were slamming into you at, Jungkook was having none of it though, reaching out as he grabbed a fist full on your hair yanking it as his balls slapped against your skin hard enough to make you weak in the legs. 

“Don’t wanna hear a single word from you baby, you’re gonna be my little fucking cum dump yeah?” Jungkook’s breath was hot against your neck as his cock pushed before inside you, staying nice and snug in your cunt as he roughly thrusted harder into you making your body jostle with every motion. 

Just the thought had your walls squeezing around him as he moaned, “That’s right baby, you want this tiny cunt to be used to take all my cum? My little cumslut.” Jungkook’s jaw clenched at how loud you were beginning to moan, your body withering and shaking which was only giving him more motivation to keep going, his hips slamming harder and harder as your thighs trembled and had a harder time staying up.

“Go on baby, cum all of this cock, I can feel this little cunt wanting it, cum.” Jungkook nearly barked out with a growl, his cheating pressing against your back now, letting go of your hair in trade of your throat as he squeezed it tight making a breathy moan escape you, your vision nearly blacking out at how hard you abruptly came again, not even registering how loud you were moaning and whining beneath him. 

Jungkook pressed his forehead against your shoulder blades as he swore with gritted teeth, his hips burying inside you as he let himself go, hot substance shooting up inside you as he moaned softly, swiveling his hips a little to ride out his orgasm as he buried his face into your neck, “Fuck baby, feels so good.” He mumbled with a rasp as he pecked a kiss on your neck. 

Your body was rapidly trembling and you could hardly even speak as you melted into the couch trying to wrap your brain around how hard you just got railed.

Jungkook happily nuzzled into your neck, a small smile on his face as he began pressing kisses into your neck, “Love my baby so much, you did such a good job.” His hands rubbed against your waist approvingly making you wiggle a little, a tiny smile on your lips as you mumbled, “Were you mad at me…?” 

Jungkook’s nose nudged the crook of your neck against as he shifted a little to lay on top of you, his cock slipping from you making your legs twitch a little as he pressed another kiss on the back of your neck this time, “No? Jus’ wanted to fuck you senseless,” You huffed as he chuckled a little, “You weren’t complaining baby, say it back.” He poked your side as you wiggled a little, “C’mon say it, I wanna hear you say it baby.” 

You whined a little before wiggling, managing to turn yourself over to lay on your back, “Love you too Koo.” Jungkook practically looked like he was glowing as he collapsed against your chest, tiny kisses being placed on your collar bones as you cocooned yourself against him, happily soaking in all of the attention.

Note: It’s been such a cute little break in the story guys!!! I hope you’re prepared for the final four chapters coming up soon because !!! things get a little intense!!

(Taglist CLOSED)

Taglist:   @rkivemagic​​  @megladon1616​​ @pearlneedstosleep​​ @sincerelyjeohn​ @epiphany-playwithfire @maboiisuga​ @kookphoria91​​ @taehyungiev13​@134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness​​ @hanhannguyen98​​ @lurkerarmy​​ @lovelyjkook​ @serendipity-secrets​​ @kimvantaee​ @timestandstillalittle​​ @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl​ @blxckeffect @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass​ @caitlinmarieeblossom @jishookedout134​  @rjsmochii​ @lovethatforme97​ @kthstrawberryshortcake @anonymous2505​ @rainbow-zebra-unicorns​ @namjoonies-dimple​​ @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes​ @min-chimchim03​ @rosewxterbts​ @zazaluvbts​ @thekookiecorner​ @copa-c-havana​ @rapperkookz​  @xhg-btsx​ @intrepide11​ @bts-army46​ @jimintaendem​ @sleepyje0n​​ @vidaficrecs​ @purplelady85​ @jeonsbbgirl​​ @loveyourselfbangtans​ @ausjeons​ @hajimaoppaa​ @l4life

[megumitski]

hello these are the bnha fics i’ve read so far and i just made this to track them for myself. favorites are marked with a 💥! more bakudeku plus tododeku and other ships under the cut.

bakudeku

💥 Bluebird - EtherealBeing (53k)

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact.

However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Let’s Be Alone Together - lalazee (3k)

Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move.

“Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Bell Pepper - ticklishivories (7k)

Midoriya knew they wouldn’t talk about it. He was right. But he never thought it’d happen again.

spilling over every side - failbender (6k)

No good deed goes unpunished, not when there's a crazy lady with a complex and Lust Quirk parading around the city. By now, Katsuki should probably be used to things blowing up in his face.

be loved - bonnia (5k)

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

Leftovers - brichibi (6k)

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

lust-drunk - theboykingofhell (8k)

The one where Bakugou tries not to lose his mind to lust, and Midoriya is the useless gay who does nothing to help that matter at all.

💥 Quiet Rapture - lalazee (261k) - inc.

That A/B/O fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.

💥 A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8k)

Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? - reading_raindrop (8k)

“A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him? “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Katsuki whipped his head towards Izuku with his signature death glare as he stood up from where he picked up the fallen supplies.

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would

💥 take care - Chrome (2k)

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one.

---

“Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

Just Look At Me - Colourcubify (52k) - dnf

Midoriya is completely happy with his life. Nope, not one single regret in his twenty-seven years. He especially doesn't regret running into his old childhood friend/bully after almost ten years, nor does he regret spilling coffee all over his very expensive looking suit. How nice it will be to die with no regrets. ~~~~ AKA the sugar daddy AU I meant to be a one shot, that turned into a full fledged story.

A Nest for the Best - Camellia_Sinensis (1k)

Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.

unforgiving - i_write_emotion (19k)

Deku is hit with a quirk that takes away his ability to forgive, and Bakugou’s world comes crashing down. Quirkless!Deku. Pro-hero!Bakugou.

@ Deku WRONG CHAT - katyastark (16k) - inc.

Deku: THE LENGTHS I WOULD GO TO JUST LICK THE SWEAT OFF HIS ABS hnnnnnghhh

Deku: or! like! It doesn’t even have to be his abs! It could be anywhere else! I’m not picky!

Pinky: excuse me what

ChargeDolt: OMG

Uravity: @Deku WRONG CHAT

I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. - InkspillsNotebook (6k)

Ta-Da!!!! I hope you all enjoy the finished product!!! I'm sorry (not sorry) I broke a lot of you when I first posted this to tumblr!!

Procrastination - capncapk (5k)

But it is still surprising to see his more-than-friend-but-also-lover-he-guesses in his office seeking attention though Izuku already turned him down.

Usually he'll get a text of 'wyd?' followed by a time and place if Izuku responds with a confirmation, and silence if he's busy.

Or slammed into the wall in the agency's shower for a quickie if no one was around, which despite his anxiety, he often acquiesces to.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71k)

The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) - vannral (16k)

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Yes, They’re All Safe - teaandtumblr (5k)

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

💥 all choked up - spicyrabbit (5k)

Bakugou Katsuki had a habit of turning away from the heard. At 16, he does this by coming to terms with wanting, desperately, to see his childhood friend cry.

💥 May I take your order, dipshit? - supercrunch (6k)

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

blooms every hour - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“It’s you, okay?!” Deku screams. “It’s you. And I know you’ll never love me back, so -” Deku wipes his eyes and straightens. “So just leave it.”

-----

Deku has hanahaki, and Katsuki doesn't know how to save him.

all choked up - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“Deku, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Izuku asks Kacchan to help him train blackwhip. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

A Fight To The Death - iknewaman (10k)

Izuku isn’t competitive by nature, but when the blond, cocky asshole from the other table’s team gets involved he suddenly becomes hellbent on winning.

Rival Pub Quiz AU

💥 Like the Moon - osakakitty (15k)

Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.

💥 We Wear Chains on the Weekend - surveycorpsjean (35k)

Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare.

"Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways.

Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

take me out to dinner first - dynamighttiddy (3k)

“Kacchan,” Deku chides. “What’s going on?”

Katsuki takes a deep breath.

He trusts Deku with his life. He can trust him with this, too.

“Have sex with me.”

-----

Katsuki Bakugou is one of the only virgins left in class 3-A - and with graduation just around the corner, he's desperate to change that.

💥 that ultra kind of love - dynamighttiddy (11k)

“So, uh,” Kirishima starts. “Was that your first kiss?” he whispers, almost sheepish. Katsuki’s stomach drops, and he freezes. Memories of green eyes and freckles and soft lips flash behind his eyelids. “Yeah,” he lies easily. “That was my first kiss.”

-----

In which Bakugou pretends Kirishima is his first kiss, amongst other things.

to the moon and back - kewltie (1k)

"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.

💥 Bridges - supercrunch (18k)

Yaomomo sighs. “We’ve got a little bit of a situation, Bakugou. Ashi—uhm, somebody might have accidentally signed you up for that modelling gig.”

Katsuki holds up a hand. "So what you’re telling me here," he says, "is that you told Calvin Klein I would model for them. In my underwear.”

Ashido sinks behind a desk to hide. “Yes.”

(The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart.

So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.)

Crescendo - supercrunch - inc. (4k)

(Izuku's band is on their way to the top of the charts. But the real star, he thinks, is the drummer.)

Guilty Kiss - osakakitty (1k)

He could feel Midoriya's eyes on him. Even though he knew it was wrong, Bakugo still wet his lips in anticipation.

(Canon-verse) A short story about making out in a closet. It's messy, but so is their relationship.

💥 Surfaces - surveycorpsjean (25k)

Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right.

As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Classical conditioning - supercrunch (8k)

(or: how to trick a boy into going out with you.)

Alright. Maybe his idiot friends had a point, Katsuki thinks as he shoulders open the front door. His mother’s in the living room drinking coffee. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and stomps over. “Am I charming?” he demands, blocking the TV.

Mitsuki pats his cheek. “Oh, hon. Not at all.”

💥 Dance Bunny - EllaBesmirched (17k)

Katsuki Bakugou spends most week nights by himself, sitting in a corner at his local strip club and passing time until he feels tired enough to sleep. Work leaves him stressed and the new city he moved to a year ago is just different enough that he can't sleep at night and can't seem to get comfortable no matter where he is.

When he finally changes up his schedule and decides to head to the club on a Saturday night, he is instantly infatuated with a part-time dancer who can do things with his body that Katsuki didn't even know were possible. The dancer calls himself Bunny. By the second lap dance, Katsuki realizes he is in trouble.

but the entrails are the best part! - supercrunch (15k)

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

tododeku

(You Know You’re Really) Cute - ladyhoneydarlinglove (2k)

Kirishima poses the question, who’s the cutest boy in Class 1-A? The answers kind of surprise everyone, especially Midoriya.

Everything Except - Pouler (28k)

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

count your blessings, not your flaws - PitViperOfDoom (7k)

Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

Riddles in the Heart - PitViperOfDoom (19k)

The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there's only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

Late bloomer - Nohaljiachi (10k)

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.

‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

Burn and Breathe - PitViperOfDoom (11k)

Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own.

one string, fit for a bow - furihatachlookie (5k)

There was no magical moment that played a part in Midoriya's realization that he liked Todoroki. The thin red string that greeted him every time he looked down at his hand was an obvious factor, yes, but it wasn't love at first sight either.

It sorta just... happened over time.

fire and feelings - kagshina (8k)

“Uh…” he starts, eyes widening. “Your finger’s on fire.”

Todoroki’s face scrunches together, confused, and then he looks down, noticing the flame. Midoriya watches as shock flashes across Todoroki’s face, and then horror, and then finally settles on embarrassment as he puts out the flame.

“Shit,” Todoroki mumbles, and Midoriya’s lip curves upward.

bakutododeku 

💥 Fire in the Mountains - EllaBesmirched (168k)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

The Ballad of Love and Hate - EllaBesmirched (6k)

After eight painfully long years, Katsuki finally has Izuku back. He's determined to keep him this time, and to do that, he knows there are some things he has to say.

(mis)matched - ethydium (12k)

Midoriya doesn't hate the idea of finding one's soulmate, even though he had long since given up on finding his own. And then Bakugou and Todoroki match, and while he's happy for them, his heart breaks from all the unsaid things he feels for them.

Or:

Midoriya pines and suffers his way to his own happy ending.

pillowed by love - ethydium (21k)

As a prank, Uraraka gets Midoriya a body pillow (dakimakura) with the image of Bakugou printed on it. Then another one with Todoroki's picture. Chaos ensues.

other

For who could learn to love a beast? - supercrunch (4k) - bakutodo

Bakugou takes a deep breath and steps out into the living room, eyes automatically adjusting to the change in light. There’s a boy hanging up his coat in the hall. He’s handsome, albeit in an annoying way, hair dyed two colours to match his heterochromia and skin pale and perfect and smooth. He looks expensive. “Bakugou.”

“That’s me,” Bakugou says. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“I’m older than I look.”

(Deku was right, damn him. Pretty boys are Bakugou's type.)

Want it All - surveycorpsjean (29k) - kiribakutododeku

“Hey, so..." Eijirou grins. "Can we ask you guys a question?"

Frankendick and the Great Acid Fiasco - EllaBesmirched (11k) - shiggyxdabi

Dabi had been intending to spend a very nice Saturday getting stoned and plotting murder, thank you very much, but when a trio of UA brats on enough L to kill a Beatle accidentally dose him and two other unsuspecting homicidal maniacs, Dabi has to change his plans a bit. Apparently no else around here knows how to trip balls and fucking enjoy it.

The Twitter - EllaBesmirched (8k) - tododenki

Shouto never really intended for anyone to find his secret Twitter account. He certainly didn't intend for Kaminari to see Shouto's thirst tweets about him. Luckily, Kaminari doesn't seem to mind.

pray you catch me - supercrunch (4k)

Katsuki pushes her shirt up to kiss her stomach. It’s silly, how it makes her heart flutter, how Izuku’s whispered I love you threatens to make her cry all over again. They’re unwrapping her from her clothes. They won’t let her hide, she thinks numbly. Won’t let her curl in on herself like she’s something dirty, Katsuki’s hands tugging off her underwear so she’s naked and exposed between them. “I,” she says breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m just being dumb.”

Izuku shushes her. Another tear trickles down her cheek and into her ear. He kisses it away, humming, brushing her bangs off her forehead so he can press his mouth between her brows. “You have every right to be upset. We’ll deal with him later. For now just let us take care of you.”

“She’ll get the message once you stop talking and fuck her,” Katsuki says, slipping his fingers into her. She clenches around him and shudders. “Gonna eat you out ‘til you forget how to move. Now put that fucking motor mouth to good use, Deku.”

[jae-canikeepyou]

| kismet | j.jh | part one

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 10k+ welps

summary: his parents sends him for a month long vacation to the country side to meet his other half, which so happens to be you. and alternatively, your beloveds asks of you to be in your best behaviour while he’s around. disliking how things turn out, you both come up with a pact with each other before your two families gathers together for christmas eve dinner.

genre: arranged marriage + bad 1st impressions

a/n: happy new year ✨ and you know what that means? *wink wink* new layout for my oneshots hihi! ok you guys this took soooooo long to write ;-; i wasn’t satisfied with the first draft so i had to reboot everything! and i mean everything!! :3 so i had this specific genre in mind for a long time and i’m glad that someone requested at the same time while i was in the progress of writing it~ i should’ve posted this on christmas day but i was spending time with my family :D hope you understand hihihi anyway i’ll stop this here so you can enjoy reading! ~j

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

| part two | part three (final) |

jaehyun never reacted so quickly in his entire life, simultaneously spitting out the drink he consumed and eyes growing at the news his parents suddenly brought up. his neck ache at sudden twist. “what did you say?” he wiped the drips of coffee at the corners of his lips. his breathing intensified the more the silence passed.

mr. and mrs. jeong playfully sighed & exchanged looks as their son shouldn’t be this surprised regarding the topic. they have discussed about this when he turned eighteen. now twenty-three, he shouldn’t be so surprised or over-reactive about it either. 

“you heard your father,” mrs. jeong chewed her meal elegantly, yet giggles were still heard through closed lips. “you’re meeting her next week.”

he squinted with plenty of doubts filling his head, he was sure that there was still a year left. and to him that also meant he has exactly a year to convince his parents to call off the marriage he never asked for, let alone planned it. he still has a lot- correction, have yet to achieve in his mid-twenties and having a wife now would be slightly cutting his privacy short. 

in other words, the path to leisure he wished for after years of academics would divert to spending a life planned out for him. he had a diary and planner, and 

they were organised and well-thought out. but he had enough of his parents writing out his future for him, why couldn’t he write his own love story?

jaehyun was on his second last year of veterinary medicine, having some of the weight and pressure of academics lifted off his shoulders. of course he knew he still has to study, he just felt a little relaxed knowing that he would soon practice his dream career.

never had he expected that time flew and was going to meet his fiancé soon. 

his phone blinked with along with a message from his friends— mark and johnny. he briefly looked at the wallpaper of his long-time girlfriend of four years; she was the one who was on his mind. “nononono, i can’t get married now.” jaehyun’s panicking voice echoed the dining area, shoving the phone into his pockets.

mr. jeong raised a brow, placing his cup of coffee on the glass table. “relax, you’re not putting a ring on her finger yet.”

“‘yet’?!” the dimples on his face deepened as his cheeks bubbled. “mom, dad, i haven’t even met her!”

“hm? that’s why you’re spending the whole month at the countryside!” mrs. jeong exclaimed excitingly, and to jaehyun it seemed she was enjoying herself as if she were the one going there too.

“a month?! what am i going to do over there?!” 

“isn’t this great? we finally get to see you outdoors instead of a laptop and report papers! you need a break honey.” his mother clasped palms.

“ugh i can manage my time—”

“once you start working i’m pretty sure you won’t have the time to, jaehyun.”

since the love topic was brought up, his parents started to dig out their memories during their dating years. jaehyun groaned and massaged his temples, feeling uncomfortable with all the love stories he already heard or been told about. “did you forget that i have a girlfriend?” mumbling, he let out a deep, long sigh hoping they would hear him. and that failed miserably. his parents were in their own world. 

he shook his leg underneath the table and grew impatient with the duration of their conversation. “please, i’m begging you. i’ll get married in my own time and pace. sue and i are pretty much going to settle once we graduate-”

a certain ringtone perked his ears and his hands quickly pat his pockets to search his phone. he let out a sigh of relief, that his girlfriend psychologically read his mind and knew how much he wanted to get out of the dinner table, not to mention his parents’ overly attachment to one another. 

“sue you called! i was wondering if you want to hang out for a while.” his voice was high in spirits. but word has it when it reached its high, it would plummet to the ground shortly after. “hey, what’s wrong?” 

on the other line, just a call away from his girlfriend, was her held-in sob and whimper. “where are you right now? i’m coming to get you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun’s limbs shook in anger and slammed his fists onto the stirring wheel so hard that this time he promised himself he would move on. last week, she didn’t just break up with him— that was a call for farewell, something kept well hidden from him and all this time he didn’t know she felt the way she did for the years they’ve spent together. 

for a minute he wished this was all a dream, that conscious world would wake his slumber mind. it wasn’t. the reality pretty much awoke him and kept him up all night. he blinked several times, her words still numbing his hearing, wishing it was a lie... but he heard her loud and clear that night. 

“...you’ll always have a place in my heart.. but i’m really sorry..”

he grew speechless though his heart had millions of questions. the windows of his lips sealed closed no matter how much he wanted them to be answered. opposite from where he was at, he stared at the porch of her house, waiting for a silhouette to appear before him. instead a luxurious car pulled over and an unfamiliar man took his coat off to wrap around sue. that action didn’t hurt jaehyun, but it was sue’s smile of comfort that triggered his pain more. seemed like she knew this man given that she let him into her house, like nothing heartbreaking happened before this. 

the door closed and jaehyun’s teary eyes never left her residence until loud slams of swinging car doors opened on both sides of the passenger’s seats. “tsk.” he hissed and quickly rubbed the tears meaning to fall. him being seen crying would really make him a target for his friends, for not moving on. couldn’t risk being the attention more than he already was.

“goodness mark it’s not like we’re on vacation that you have to pack almost everything,” johnny threw one of mark’s duffle bags at the boy, earning a so-what kind of look from him. “we’ll only bring jae to the y/l/n’s then leave afterwards—”

screw this, jaehyun thought. by now he shouldn’t look too swollen to his friends. but screw mark for renting and living across from his ex’s house. 

“save your explanation john.” jaehyun growled and started the engine, fastening his while seatbelt the two continued their bickers. more of it was mark’s shallowness that pissed johnny.

“yeah, save your explanation john- ow!” mark gave the tall lad a death-gazing glare at the pain that stayed on his skin.

johnny leaned forwards, tapping the dimpled boy on the shoulder. “dude, you changed your mind?”

jaehyun scoffed, resting his left arm onto the window’s edge as he drove. “mom said i should be accompanied. i didn’t want you both to come but she’s so insisting it’s getting into my nerves.” 

“actually mrs. jeong said you might need us after your sudden breakup,” mark pressed the button. the window rolled up and down whereas him and johnny exchanged looks to try to liven up the mood in the car. “what are friends for, hm?”

“o-oh yeah. you’ll need us.. as in.. ‘sue’pport.” he nodded with a fake sob. soon mark bursted out in giggles and joined the wagon. 

“‘cause you lost your ‘sue’weetheart.” “she’s making you ‘sue’per emotional.” “we were ‘sue’prised she dumped you.” “but as your brothers, we ‘sue’wear we’ll be here—”

“ugh! i don’t know why mom suggested you to come but your side comments really aren’t helping at all—” jaehyun rolled his eyes regretting instantly at the pain afterwards.

his friends found him hilarious. they were laughing so hard that jaehyun couldn’t continue or interrupt their exploding voices. “since when did you need help, mr. leave-me-alone?” johnny took a huge leap from his seat to be beside the offended boy. “for all i know you’re the type who wants everything perfect, in control and planned.”

“nah dude, right now..” mark zipped his bag. “he needs help with love issues.”

“this has nothing to do with my love! and for the record, about the y/f/n’s? it’s arranged!” he lowered his cap and slid back slightly against the seat while the car was on idle. “do i need to spell it out for you?”

“that can change dude,” johnny slurped on his giant soda takeaway. jaehyun battered his eyes but was careful enough to not leave his sight off of the road. “who knows this fiancé of yours could meet your expectations. maybe more than sue could ever do.”

jaehyun’s mind clouded and still had the effects from the breakup. still so fresh. he didn’t want to believe it in fact happened; that it was all true. he was sure sue was the one for him. hearing his pals say it word per word only had it finally sunk in— she dumped him.

it terrified him in ways he couldn’t imagine, haunted him countless of nights because he failed her. he even bragged to his parents that he would marry her and slip a ring on her finger. thinking about it, how stupid was he to hold onto that hope?

he looked like an idiot, felt like one and his friends probably viewed the same. they said his fiancé could outstand sue? she was the perfect package! what more could he get?

he had her.

honks of the vehicles behind led jaehyun’s eyes trailing to the stoplight that emitted green. he pulled over and johnny knew he had to take his place. 

“here, let me drive. you’re not fit for driving. now, just be comfy back there, okay?”

—

hours later violent jolts of the car hit jaehyun’s cheek, regaining consciousness from his slumber just to witness the beautiful sunrise peeking from the horizon. he sat up, his posture trying to straighten to denumb nerves that held long during his sleep.

his playlist blasted the speakers. johnny had his legs on the dashboard and hummed with the music. mark was still sleeping peacefully like he hadn’t had a care in the world other than his precious bag of unfinished chips in his hands. 

he groaned at the discomfort of pulled muscles and the sudden break to the countryside. if johnny needed an hour intervals for the drive he could’ve said so, right? but now they were at the open road, greenery and fields merging together in one land. 

“what time is it? where are we and are we there yet? i’ll drive if what you do delays the journey.” jaehyun gestured him to move aside. “johnny, stop eating.” it was quarter to two.

“wha-? i’m hungry. hey, you’re the one who didn’t want to come and yet you’re rushing to get to the y/l/n’s?” johnny unwrapped his second burrito. “besides, we’re only five minutes away—”

“tsk ‘cause i need to piss real bad.” jaehyun was fidgety and panned the view before setting eyes on his friend. 

johnny felt a churn in his stomach as his cheeks bubbled. “oh gross! i’m eating dude! if you’re gonna piss then do it outside?!”

jaehyun shoved the burrito into johnny’s mouth to not speak anymore. “rather hold it in than for you to puke in my car!” he held his strength while johnny fought his way to breathe properly. “i won’t piss outside and there are cattles who feed on fields!”

“bruh stop lecturing me with your vet knowledge- ah!” johnny held his forehead from the sudden finger flicking.

“dude, it’s called common sense. now move aside!” he shooed the tall boy off the driver’s seat. jaehyun stepped on the gas, heading towards a small town entrance.

they finally reached a couple of stores & restaurants, surveying and asking its townsmen using your family name to locate your residence. maybe they would know which apartment or house you resided in. except that was the twist of their understanding. 

jaehyun and his boys were shocked to know how your family name plastered in posters and brand products displayed at open stores, but were more shocked to see the gazes from the people. 

a little over an hour, they managed to get hold of more information as they were told your house was ten minutes away from the town. jaehyun walked along the pavement to grab something to drink, only to be poked by a young man who was around the same age as they were.  

“hi.” he greeted the unfamiliar man. “i take it you’re looking for the y/l/n’s?”

he took a squint as he observed jaehyun from head to toe, circling around him. “uh-huh, you look like m’lady’s husband-to-be in the pictures.”

“e-excuse me?” jaehyun cleared his throat, seemingly unwilling to have this conversation going.

mark held his laugh per usual, it would take time to get used to jaehyun stumbling his words. 

because the engaged man really wasn’t ready at all. 

“yeap he’s the guy.” johnny popped the ‘p’ with a lollipop in his mouth. jaehyun rolled his eyes, taking the candy stick and tossing it away. he didn’t care about johnny’s scoffs.

the new young lad wore his motorcycle helmet. “sweet.” he prolonged the word. and that was when both mark and johnny lost it. they recalled the pun they entertain themselves with prior to arriving here.

“oh, i work with the town’s famous family,” he showed his i.d. wrapped around his neck. “you can follow me since i’m heading there too.” the three quickly twitched at his quick paced movement. “i’m kunhang by the way, but i’d rather be called hendery. it’s my professional name, it just sounds cooler.”

jaehyun furrowed his brows at the praise. “okay hendery, uhm famous? they’re big time?” he pointed at the posters holding your family name. “how so?”

hendery swung his face shield downwards. “you’ll see.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

gallops of horses were drumming the entire farm. dust and dirt swirled with the wind in the air and it took a while for the boys to adjust their sights at the distance. hendery dropped a couple of spare boots for them to wear. jaehyun was in awe. horses were majestic animals and though he got to study them, he never seen such a number of them on the fields.

“oh goodness me our guest is here!”

they turned around to voice of a jolly lady, an apron on and folded cuffs from her clothing. “hello there! welcome! you must be jaehyun! my soon to be son-in-law!” she shook his hands and later pulled him for a hug. “oh you look just like your mother!”

“hi mrs. y/l/n. y-yeah, i get that a lot these days,” jaehyun scratched his head. “thanks for having us.” 

her eyes trailed at mark and johnny, and they too, were pulled in for a hug. “i see jaehyun brought along his handsome friends with him! do enjoy your stay here with us!” she caught a glimpse of a figure approaching the crowd. “c’mere baby and meet the boys!”

jaehyun looked over his shoulder, lips parting and exhaled a short breath. she seemed young, she has a pretty face but obviously still in high school. what the? oh g- i’m marrying you?

“pfft no ew. i’m not getting married to you. i’m only 17.” she let out a chuckle, almost sarcastic enough for jaehyun to explode.

crap i said it unconsciously.

your mother lightly slapped her arm. “marg, where’s your sister?” she asked. “i told her to specifically come at the barn 1600.”

“she took jet for a ride. ‘detour’ she said, but i guess she’s on her way here.” she replied and mark choked on his water bottle. marg rolled her eyes. “green minded ass-”

“language marg!” hendery flicked her forehead, the latter held the pain. “the rudeness. sorry, kiddo here is the family’s baby. you’ll see the eldest daughter soon- oh! right on time m’lady!” he waved his hands up high.

jaehyun didn’t know what pissed him off more; one was at himself for being starstruck and in awe at you after his breakup, and two? 

the beautiful black horse you were riding on didn’t seem to be halting. it was trotting at first. you were on its saddle. he squinted his eyes, were you smirking? unbelievable. he thought you were doing this on purpose. no, you were really going to run him over. 

he noticed a change in speed, trotting then galloping on dirt. the sounds of it matched with the beatings of his rising heart. jaehyun took a step back, then it became more than one, until he was worried that he would end up being chased. there were couple of gasps and reminders of voices. he fell on his bum with palms hitting the ground as he breathed heavily, eyes still on you.

the horse listened to your rein, it let out a loud neigh with its front legs heavenwards. your laugh merged with it. “whoa- hey, easy jet, easy.” you cooed the animal, soon removing your helmet and hair flowed like those in shampoo commercials. “i think he got the message.”

jaehyun sat there dumbfounded, his brows drew together. what message? you were centimetres from killing him- wait. he saw you turn cold and your smile disappearing.

bingo! he got it. he knew the reason why you did this. 

you were against the arranged marriage too.

johnny leaned into mark’s ear, who had his hands cupping his lower face. “bro, jet’s a horse so stop giggling and clean your mind.” 

“dude i’m not laughing at that. just look at jae. i’ve never seen him so helpless.” he cackled a laugh. 

once your feet were on the ground, he finally got a better look on you. you were wearing a light wooled grey sweater with denim blue jeans. your hair now on one side and boots stained with dried mud. you took off your gloves to put your hand out for a handshake, one rested around your helmet. “hi, i’m y/n.” you greeted with a smile, ensuring it was fake enough for jaehyun to notice. 

“quite of an entrance.” jaehyun dusted his jeans and groaned at the exerted strength as he stood. “jeong jaehyun. veterinary medicine student..” he was about to grab your hand until you shoved yours into the pockets of your jeans. 

“y/n!” your mom exclaimed with warning. “your manners-” she clamped her lips when you put up a hand, eyes darting at her later at him.

“alright, okay. look mr. i didn’t ask for your field of study and i don’t need to know or do anything with you.”

jaehyun crossed his arms, a fake smile plastered on his face. what an attitude. “apparently you will? because i’m here for the next thirty days.”

“is that so?” you hummed and jaehyun didn’t like how you singsonged.

he knew something was coming and sometimes he thought it was best to keep quiet instead of letting his annoyance towards you spark up. “good, that means you’re helping me out with everything i do here.” he heard you say. “and do things i tell you to.”

“what?” his eyebrows snapped, and for you it was quite entertaining to see this reaction from him. following the trail of your footsteps, jaehyun stomped on wet soil as he stood before you. “hey you can’t just order me around like i’m your staff!”

“of course i can, you’re in my property-” you gestured the land.

“no, it belongs to your parents.” the tone of his voice irked you. he was grinning too.

“i can do whatever i want and choose whenever to help. i’ll only listen orders from mr. and mrs. y/l/n if they want me to do work..” he trailed off, your mother waving at him with admiration— typical as she saw him like an long lost son. “..but i guess not. my mom did say i needed a break from studying too much and she’s totally right. i must be pardoned from labour.”

it was your turn to cross arms and give him a lop-sided smile. the audacity of this man. you felt like ripping all your hair out. “you think staying here would prevent you from doing labour, your highness? sitting on your throne all dignified and at peace? well guess what, just because you’re a guest that doesn’t mean you get to be treated differently-”

you heard him bubble out a forced snicker. what was it this time? “of course it’s different! i am the guy you’re betrothed to-”

“i won’t allow it.” your jaw tightened with lips in a hard line. “a person like you is not worth my time and definitely not someone i’d want to marry.”

he pursed his lips. “wow do people ever tell you how bad of a host you are? you just don’t go shoving assumptions into people’s faces for your own entertainment. we’re humans.”

“i’m only rude to you. and yeah, people are humans. but you’re the devil’s incarnate.” you pulled jet’s reins and led him to the stables in which jaehyun observed how you gave that same smirk from earlier. “see if you’ll enjoy your stay here, hubby.” 

jaehyun clenched his fists and was sure little crescent moons already indented his palms. he only wanted sue to call him that. yet that was useless, they broke up. your face remained in his head and anger filled him up, now boiling so much that he felt a little lightheaded arguing with someone like you. 

he wanted to yell but johnny and mark sandwiched him between them with hendery walking in front. “tsk it’s only the first day and i want to go home.” he scrunched his nose. 

hendery had his palms behind his head, lips jutting to hold his grin. “m’lady—” he corrected himself. “y/n’s not usually like that. it’s a first seeing her so cranky and hotheaded.”

“really? how is she usually like?” mark asked with curiosity. “she seems cool because she smiled at johnny and me before the tables.. y’know, turned.” he shrugged with implications towards jaehyun.

“not cranky and not hotheaded.” hendery opened the door to your house, showing them to the large living area. “a lil’ different today but i tell you, our y/n is a professional equestrian. she’s passionate with what she does and—”

“a horse rider?! passionate?!” jaehyun hissed as he took off his shoes and brown coat, kicking it slightly to the side and hung it on the wall respectively. “she almost killed me!”

johnny hit the back of jaehyun’s head and clicked his tongue. “snap out of it jae, you’re overreacting. we’re at your future in-law’s residence and i think it’s a bad idea to badmouth their daughter.” 

only a low groan escaped out of jaehyun as he refused to listen. “look, first impressions don’t always hit off a good start. but thinking how you both don’t have a say to this arranged marriage, your feelings towards each other are totally understandable.”

jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose as he took in his friend’s words. if what johnny said was true, was it right for him to begin holding grudge on you on the first day? you barely knew each other. clearly he knew you hated him, yet if his parents were here and saw the whole thing, they’d ask: why risk the chance of not trying? and again, he remembered he was told, people can change. 

—

throughout dinner, he got to know what your family business was and why it was well-known. he didn’t ask questions, they were just told to him like they were comfortable with it. they weren’t bragging either. perhaps it was due to the fact jaehyun would soon be part of this family that they told him the entire story. 

you didn’t show up during the hour and honestly it got jaehyun feeling so much relief since he wouldn’t have to deal with another useless argument. he disliked wasting time and preferred to do this schedule accordingly, so remembering it only made him rage inside. he was glad he wouldn’t have to deal with you tonight. 

except that relief was shortlived. you had to appear right when he thought of you.

great.

he tried to fix himself in his seat on the sofa by the fireplace, averting his gaze upon you while your mother continuously slapped you light on the arms. you probably finished your bath, given that you still have a towel wrapped around your head and a.. robe.

“y/n! have some courtesy! we have guests!” your mother warned as she gestured in front to cover you, apologising to the new boys. hendery immediately stepped in as well, his eyes shutting to a close and pushing you back to the bottom of the staircase. 

“but mom! i’m hungry and there might not have any cookies left if you keep giving it to them-” you were cut off with hendery’s pats.

he brushed his hair. sighing, he had to shoo you away because you were clearly attracting eyes, definitely not the decent kind. “i have a jar prepared for you m’lady so please.. get dressed!”

you quickly ran up as you were told, mumbling and complaining. jaehyun and his friends were definitely at a loss for words. because not only were you careless, you were oblivious too. 

mark scrunched his nose to start a conversation with jaehyun. “looks like she called you ‘hubby’ too quickly.” he closed his lips to contain his laugh. 

“pfft jae your ears really are honest huh?” johnny pointed at them as he held his chest, fistbumping mark for another win. 

he wasn’t going to tell them that he in fact did find you pretty, and the thing was, he shouldn’t be giving a reaction too soon. “it’s the spicy chocolate cookie!” jaehyun defended.

“huh, i didn’t bake any cookie with those flavour-” hendery pondered, but he stopped since he spotted jaehyun begging to help him here.

“you know that we know if you’re lying right?” the two squinted eyes, putting more pressure to the boy to admit what he felt when he saw you earlier. “bet ya felt something.”

afraid that your family could hear them, jaehyun grabbed their shoulders to huddle them in close. he cleared his throat to catch their attention, yet his friends continued their giggles. “i swear if you both embarrass me in front of the y/f/n’s, consider the days with your precious.. phones.”

“ah c’mon dude. don’t do that. we bought our i12’s together-” mark whined.

“then at least help me out here guys. i have a reputation to hold-” 

“oh for being her hubby?” johnny gave a playful grin and soon was replaced with a nervous smile. “okay i’ll zip it.”

he heard your mother facetiming his mom, voices loud enough for him to know that there would be a huge gathering at christmas eve dinner. great, another one i have to deal with.

jaehyun put down his beanie and crossed his arms to snooze for a bit. he had too much going on in his head the whole day that maybe sleeping it off would let him calm down from all feelings he felt tonight. on the sofa, the weight beside him lowered, the scent of freshly baked cookies along with lavender perfume got him peeking under his beanie. 

it was you, who looked like a squirrel happily munching away with your jar of cookies whilst eyes glued to the television.

he smiled a little to himself. so you can have this cute side-

fragments of sue’s face appeared in his mind. right. he was supposed to be heartbroken. he still was. a week into the breakup had remains to his heart. bothered with sue’s ultimatum and your annoying munches, he grabbed your wrists and out at the veranda.

it pissed him because it seemed like he was the only one who cared about both of your futures or actually would do something to change your families’ minds, where as you were carefree with your cookies. “hey!” you held the jar tight in your arms as you quickly slid your feet into your slippers. “rude! i’m eating!”

the rest of the people in the dining and kitchen area grew voices of woohoo’s, jaehyun’s pupils flared at their cheers. “just come with me for a second!” he hissed, turning the knob and closing the door.

“seriously jaehyun you can’t just ruin my happy time! what do you want-”

he looked in between the curtains from the outside, where he could faintly hear his friends talking the embarrassing things about him— especially how he felt for this arrange marriage. “aren’t you pressured or angry at the situation our parents have put us into?” he leaned against a column. “even my friends are joining the wagon.”

you cackled whilst scrolling your phone. “here i thought you only cared about animals, dr. jeong.” hearing how jaehyun scoffed at your comment, you shoved your device in your pockets. “and yes of course i’m mad! what they decided is so against my will.”

jaehyun stared at you and surprised that he actually felt exactly the same. “really? then let’s make a pact. sounds good?” he offered with arms folded while you still were occupied with your phone. “well?”

“why would i listen to you? as far as i know, we already clashed and hate each other.” you rolled your eyes. “what makes you think i’ll agree?”

he sighed. “y/n, i know you don’t want this, i don’t too. at least there’s something we have in common. i’m just thinking that we have to show them we’re not meant to be together. we both have lives we want to live without the other.”

there was a change in his voice. you could tell he was serious and trying to suggest something he’d want you to agree on. “fine, what’s the pact?” you gave an uninterested tone. probably a bad idea, you thought.

“like you said, ‘clash and hate each other’. we have exactly twenty four days to convince them that you, me, us?” he pointed at his chest then yours. “is impossible. twenty four days, it’s until the night of christmas eve.”

actually that’s not bad at all. “hm, that’s easy since i can’t stand you.” you said, now standing up to face him. “even better if we can do this in less than 24.”

“cool, we have to make our fights as natural as possible. no signals or heads-up. full-on make me angry and i’ll do the same. the more we argue the more they’ll believe there’ll never be an ‘us’.” his voice a bit lively than before. “i want my buds to be fooled into this too. just be realistic and- nghf!”

you shoved a huge cookie into his mouth. “tsk, you’re noisy. i get you so shut up. i agreed with the pact, but i have conditions, okay?”

jaehyun nodded as he chewed angrily with his eyes closed, though the cookies’ taste might’ve simmered down his temper towards you. “ha, then i have conditions too-”

“see you in the morning.” he heard you say as the door slammed with the attached bell ringing his ears. 

now that was one of his conditions; no interrupting while he talks. he sighed seeing you head up the stairs. he sighed. “ugh, i can never marry a girl like her.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

stretching as high as you can, the muscles loosened in every part of your body from riding yesterday. the sun shone its brightest despite the cold weather. you remembered the pact and you knew you would not let a day pass without bothering him. somehow his existence annoyed you to the bone, not even words were enough to explain how you felt. 

at the farthest point your peripheral could reach, you spotted jaehyun peacefully— and actually enjoying— the hammock whilst faintly you heard mark and johnny debating which pronunciation was the correct one. fixing your boots as you walked towards them, the two scurried off to the side, noticing the stomps of your feet getting closer. 

“get up.” you wriggled the hammock, causing it to be lop-sided. 

jaehyun managed to balance himself from the swings. “what the-” his voice hitched. “you’re ruining my relax time!”

you pretended to ponder as you looked up to the sky. “hm, sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” referring to his sudden action towards you the night prior.

“seriously y/n what do you want? i’m in no mood to do work today and i clearly told you last night-” jaehyun fixed his eyes onto your finger that silenced his lips.

jaehyun raised a brow and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? he thought. “condition number one.” you started, bringing your voice down. “starting today you’ll do the work for me and with me. considering you’re taking veterinary science, i’m guessing you know your ways through equine husbandry. so in the coming days you can check the horses’ health while i practice my rounds.”

ah, so that’s what this was about. “uh-huh, but my condition number one is you shouldn’t make me do labour unless you really need it.” jaehyun got off the hammock, chugging his glass of water like it’s one-shot. “it’s the first light, y/n. my service starts in the afternoon.”

“i see. you’re not a morning person.” you checked your nails.

“i so am! but it’s my month long vacation. let me enjoy this before i experience exploitation from you.” he forced a smile that made you want to push him off the veranda.

you walked down the steps and straight to the barn opposite from your house. “it’s either exploitation today or exploitation for the whole month.” you singsonged while you twirled in your stance. hearing him growl meant your tactic worked. “i’ll let you experience the beauty of country side, city boy.”

jaehyun’s brows narrowed as he followed you anyway, later looking back at his friends who were stifling a laugh. “did you just compare me to feces first thing in the morning?”

“did you just boggle up my brain with scientific terms?” you hid a giggle when you heard his friends finally bursting out and losing it. because they too, experienced jaehyun’s sudden blabber of uncommon usage of words, especially conversational-wise. “i made a pun but it seems like you acknowledge the nickname.”

“i did not!” jaehyun pressed his temples. “i may have misheard you but i didn’t acknowledge it! you’re too assuming!”

“mhm sure.. but you are stepping on one though.” you whistled and gestured mark and johnny to the stables.

jaehyun grumbled as he checked the soles of his shoes. indeed he stepped on it and licked his lips in annoyance that it’d be hard to clean it off. the door opened and hendery’s morning face only turned sour at the unsightly view. he tossed another pair of spare boots for him to wear before they both headed to where you all were. 

hendery introduced the things they do here; feed the horses, fix their saddles  repair them if damaged. they were minor things since your family did hire people to do them. and since you and him were professionals in equine sports, he mentioned you both spend all days practicing. 

good, if it was you who toured him around the area, he wouldn’t think lasting a day with your intentions of ruining his mood. though it was part of the pact, it seemed like you enjoyed this a lot more than he expected. hendery brought him to places your family owned, land properties that expanded until the mountains. it’s no wonder you were free to roam around and unafraid of getting lost. 

you made him do a lot. and he was glad he was able to handle, thank heavens. however he didn’t feel much of a challenge from any of them, where you claimed they were ones he couldn’t do. jaehyun lost track of time, the sky was his only companion to tell the hours and probably lost count of the tasks too. all he could remember was the endless bickering, yells and frequent eye rolls. 

in all those, he still let you off the hook— first day of work and all, he has to be patient. and he wasn’t bothered with what you tasked him to do, until his friends stood behind you as you showed them the rest of the horses. 

after you told him to move the bundles of hay he thought was the last, you were currently trying to make mark pet the horses as they were bobbing their heads towards the young man while johnny recorded his reaction. 

“isn’t she all well now.” jaehyun rolled his eyes as he helped hendery lift the infinite bundles. “my friends get the leisure and i have to work?”

hendery laughed as he unbuttoned his collar. “she was told by her mom that you’ll be in her care since you both will get married eventually. plus mrs. y/f/n said it’s a way to get to know y/n too.” he explained, seeing you walk towards them with a hay cart, hands signalling your childhood friend to get some bundles from you. the final bundles were finally fed to the horses, and you skipped your feet to fetch jaehyun.

jaehyun knew you had intentions to make fun of him because the way you walked really pissed him off. so he decided to have his fun too. ”are you that weak you’re unable to carry a small patch? guess my hourly pay needs an increase.” he low-key flexed his muscles. truthfully speaking it was a sight to look at, too bad his attitude didn’t match it.

you rested on one leg while you look at him. he was testing the waters with you, smile slowly resurfacing as you gave even the slightest reaction towards him. oh it’s on. he annoyed you yesterday and would be a lot more in the next coming days. jaehyun leaned forwards that he was towering over you. his body made you feel small but that didn’t stop you from getting back at him.

“the only thing increasing for you is workload.” you hummed, putting back the cart into its place.

he glared at you as if you were dead meat. you ignored him. “i’ve had enough for today. muscles are sore.” hands in his pockets, jaehyun kicked the remains of hay off his shoes before he was stopped by you. “ugh you’re so annoying.” he clicked his tongue. 

“nope, you’re not done until i am. we have to find materials for christmas wreaths at my grandpa’s up north.” you pointed at the mountains as you took hendery’s hands and soon mounted on jet with him.

“oh and i’m supposed to walk there while you’re so relaxed miss bossy?” jaehyun shook his head in disbelief looking at the distance.

“uh yes?” you laughed to yourself. “i don’t think you’ve ever ridden a horse before, but if ever you did, it’s probably at a carnival.”

sudden outbursts of emotions evident on his face now. “was i born under a rock? of course i’ve ridden!” he took the reins given to him by hendery. “and it’s not a carousel!”

for a while he had a certain confidence, his soles stepping on the stirrup and dimples deepening with the strength he gave to put his right leg over. but once that was done and high up off the ground, his heart beat an army per second. cash, hendery’s horse gave loud neigh. jaehyun had done this before as a child and definitely felt like one now. he should be able to handle a 30-minute journey.

jaehyun heard you giggling, perhaps he knew how hideous he looked. despite hendery seated behind you, you led the way for the most part of the ride. you were surprised to see jaehyun have gotten the hang of it. it pissed you a lot because he was vlogging with his phone— sputtering out words to keep the diss battle going. johnny and mark hopped on the available bikes, cycling on your sides, and their laughter rather calmed you than annoy you. 

it pissed you a lot more because you’ve practically ran out of ideas to tell him in return. keeping quiet wasn’t your forte, you were a young woman with plenty of things to say, even more so to jaehyun. going through the woods, you signalled hendery to halt the horse for you and the rest of the boys followed you to gather the materials needed. 

“this shouldn’t be too long to take.” jaehyun looked at the trees towering meters above him, then straight to you who was shaking head in disbelief. “we’re just taking the materials at your grandfather’s and head back, right?”

“did i mention my granddad?” you balanced yourself on large wood log. the tone of your voice started to warm up with bickers you weren’t able to tell him. 

“you did!” jaehyun anticipated this and somehow he didn’t. “now lead the way to his place and we can get the hell out of here.” his eyes grew squints of disgust at his surroundings, as if he hadn’t been into the forest before. his friends went on ahead with hendery around the woods to look for what’s needed.

“nah, we’re picking acorns, pine cones, berries and other leaves by hand. his cottage is just around here but that doesn’t mean the materials are from him. let’s go, whiney.” 

“oh my g-” jaehyun pulled you on the arm and off you went towards him. “y/n i’ve had enough for today and i’m so tired of taking your orders- i’m physically tired of doing things your way and i can’t think straight-”

“pecans?” you said as his eyes crossed to see your palms full of the shelled nuts. “you’re hungry, aren’t you? that’s why you’re so cranky and agitate-y.” placing one but onto a flat rock, you smashed it strong enough for it to crack yet not totally destroying the inside. you popped one into your mouth and gave the most taunting grin jaehyun has seen from you all day. 

he was about to grab the rest of the nuts until you swung your arm that he wasn’t able to reach them. “y/n! give me some!” he yelled and the rest of your friends look at you both after hearing you laugh in the most evil manner.

“never!” you scurried off deeper into the woods. jaehyun rolled his eyes not at how fast you were, but due to how slow he actually was because of the amount of disgust he had.

he knew this would take all day and he didn’t know how long his patience can take for another three weeks with you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun couldn’t describe in words with what he experienced since arriving. if he had to compare with school, it was similar to studying and cramming for hours non-stop. it gotten him mentally exhausted, physically too. but the only difference between being cooping up in his room and doing work outdoors was the continuous nagging from you. 

it was far from quiet. he could handle his mom’s high pitched yells. but you? anything that came from you or done by you made him want to plaster a duck tape on your lips. you were as annoying as a five year old child who looked for someone vulnerable to bully. unfortunately he became your prey because he was in your lands. and though there were times he was able to banter back, he always felt you still had the upper hand.

it was all sunny and good days out in the countryside and jaehyun found that fact the only bright side. he enjoyed it every single morning. yet sometimes good sunny mornings meets its bad, that is, when grey clouds destroyed the beauty of the sky. in this case, it was you. you were far from his dream girl— sue. she was elegant, poised and had a heart of gold. you were the complete opposite who’d rather be rogue and do things your way. other than completing ten christmas wreaths and feeding the horses or more farm work, he couldn’t remember what he did for the past eight days because all that entered his mind was the dictator you. 

but today he felt different, maybe things wouldn’t be as hard than last week. he felt good. he sat at the long dining table with all morning faces exposed. it was currently 7 a.m and your mom have already prepared breakfast. and per usual, you were the only one they waited for before they start the first meal. 

“marg, is your sister still asleep?” your mother put down a large casserole to warm up everyone’s stomach in winter. 

marg only shrugged because for one, she didn’t care, and two, she stated that it wouldn’t be her doing this since jaehyun was marrying you. “oh jaehyun. please do head upstairs to her room and awake y/n up.”

“and why do i have to do this?” jaehyun mumbled to himself and johnny nudged him on the arm. he groaned and got up, his stomps were heavy and unwilling. 

once he was in front of your door, he knocked twice loudly so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time to get you. there was a small tune playing in your room, like it was from a music box. the door was already opened. he peeped through the thin gap, seeing you still sleeping soundly. goodness’ sake, he thought, and entered the room since your mother was asking if he woken you up. 

your room was in fact, neat. all things were organised and arranged. if there was one thing he learned from you other than being an ass, was that you loved stuffed animals. not a hint of dolls or barbies or any toy displayed related to that spectrum. two lines of medals displayed and they all shone in gold. plaques had your names and young portraits of you with smiles of victory. hendery wasn’t lying when he said you were a professional. he wasn’t going to lie— you were impressive despite the little horns coming out of your head.

he stood next to your bed where you were all bundled in a huge blanket. he raised a brow, it was strange for you to have two thick blankets covering you. “hey y/n.”

no response. 

“y/n. wake up, your mom is calling for breakfast and you’re usually the first one seated at the table.” he wriggled your body with the butt of the umbrella and you didn’t budge.

“she baked croissants and aren’t they your favourite? dipped in chocolate ganache and sprinkles?” he tried sounding happy. note that, he tried.

this girl.. he bit the insides of his lips, spotting the markers in a cylinder container and took one to begin drawing on your face. his soft giggles filled your room and the strong scent of markers met your nostrils, waking you from your slumber. 

“what the he- jaehyun?!” you hissed at how close his face was to yours, failed to realising he was done drawing on your morning skin. “get away from me!”

everyone downstairs could hear the both of you, arguing like cats and dogs. each footstep might’ve covered the entire floor above them and the ceiling could give in. 

“you ruined my morning with your ugly face!” “what?! you’re more ugly, ugly!” “you entered my room?! you have no rights!” “breakfast’s ready and your mom asked me to!” “well my nose could’ve smelled mom’s food but i smelled your stinky breath instead!”

“whatever, i finished your share of croissants!” jaehyun quickly head down the staircase.

“you dare eat my food?!” you still had a blanket from head to toe as you followed him down. “no one takes my food!”

“your loss since you’re still in bed you lazy ass!” jaehyun sat beside johnny and continued his meal. “and you were snoring loud too-”

“i did not- agh!” you grumpily sat and immediately eyed the last croissant sitting at the center of the table. all eyes were on you with black ink scribbled on your face. 

there was an awkward silence then you felt jaehyun’s stare at the only food you wanted for breakfast. there was a back and forth battle of stares between you, him and the food. maybe it was the slow reflexes you have in mornings that jaehyun took the bread before you did. he stuck out a tongue as he deliciously ate half of it, chewing slowly just to let you imagine the flavours of sweet silky chocolate. you could feel yourself drooling and the cravings of your stomach rising up to your throat. every chew he did was a stab to your guilty-pleasure heart. 

jaehyun stopped and gave a smug grin. “you wanted this y/n?” his question sounding a song rather than an honest one. “all you have to do is beg.”

you gulped, rolling your eyes. “shut up!” you kicked his knee out of jealousy and savoured the soup instead. 

“ow!” he hissed through a laugh and looked at your mom. “mrs. y/f/n, i’d like to know the recipe for this. do you give lessons?” jaehyun licked the remains of chocolate around his lips, hopefully it was enough to cover up the violence you did under the table.

your mother giggled at his sweet talk. “why learn it from me when you have y/n to teach you?”

you choked on your soup and tear your gaze away from jaehyun to your mother, where she was already enjoying your shocked reaction. “oh give me a private lesson, bulldog terrier.” he propped his chin and mimicked clicks as if he was calling animal.

you quickly touched and rubbed your face to see the ink contaminate your fingers. the spoon reflected the dark circle around your right eye. “oh my g- you! this will be hard to remove!” the fork around your hand pointed directly at him. 

“y/n!” hendery put down your wrists as jaehyun laughed loud. you took the wet wipes marg gave you and whined a little whilst you stood by the mirror behind jaehyun.

“don’t be so bummed out honey.” your mom assured, giving a wink to jaehyun. “it’s a small prank. marg did it to you before.”

checking yourself for the last time at the mirror, you rolled your eyes. “i have enough patience for marg,” with one hand you cupped jaehyun’s lower face from the chin spreading to the cheeks, soon pinching hard on his dimples with a pointer finger and thumb. “but none for the human bread.”

“ow don’t touch me!” jaehyun swifted his head to look at you and he saw you flashed a smile like you were satisfied. 

“a human bread with molds. ew, i lost appetite so i’ll be out for a ride.” you stood up to grab your coat. “see ya ugly.”

“remember to you have to clean the barn house y/n!” your mom called out.

“yeah got that!”

johnny and mark bent their heads down and let their friends suffer from multiple dots on his faces. what made it funnier was that jaehyun munched happily on his meal, hadn’t gotten a single clue. he then eyed you when you passed the window and straight to the stables. “isn’t it too early for practice?” he drank his cup of hot chocolate. 

“she can ride all day. sometimes she doesn’t arrive home and the next morning you see her sleeping in the barn house.” marg tied her hair into a high bun. “the amount of dedication is there, except the passion she used to have isn’t really there anymore- hey!” she glared at hendery who gave her a warning look. 

what was that all about? jaehyun thought while his eyebrows met together and good thing it wasn’t obvious to your family. he was indeed curious, but he’d rather hear it from you than to look like a jerk who wanted to gossip about personal lives. the thing was, it’s you. though majority of the week was him suffering with workload, he liked to bicker with you until you gave up and had nothing to say. 

so far he recorded as 5-11 in terms of owning the other. the latter was his score and he was proud of it.

hendery’s phone vibrated and slid it to jaehyun’s place. jaehyun blinked to adjust his sight to the brightness of the phone. a sigh came out of his lips and the rest of them could tell it was another order from you. “ooh that doesn’t sound good.” mark slurped his soup. 

“it’s not.” jaehyun brushed his hair and hesitation slowly crept his body. “she asked me to clean the upper floor of the barn by the time she arrives.”

—

jaehyun massaged his wrists by twisting them. he looked at the barn house’ entrance because he noticed a figure approaching. you’ve had the best morning after jaehyun ruined it. as you rode, nothing beats the freshness of the cool wind. you love riding through the woods and grasslands. it sets you free from everything keeping you caged. your smile began to falter when you saw jaehyun who was not even halfway close to finishing. “you’re late. your mom had to apologise on your behalf because i’m doing the job for you.”

“ooh thanks! i’ll count on it!” you laid comfortably on a chair.

“hey!”

you leaned against the furniture, arms crossed where he was a floor above and standing at your 2 o’clock view. “dr. jeong it looks like you’re having a hard time. need help?” you stifled a laugh because he still has the ink marks you left on his face.

“on with the assumptions again, aren’t we?” he fixed his gloves and moved wooden planks from one place to another. 

“yeah you make yourself too easy of a target, jaehyun. and i thought you’re the type to not take things seriously.” you tied jet’s reins to a pole.

“you’re forgetting my condition number two, you can only badmouth me if the others are around. now get your flat butt up here and move the tool box aside so i can continue what i’m doing.” he grunted whilst lifting. 

dusting your pants, you were now standing a storey high. the sight of the height below you made you sick. jaehyun nudged your arm and you took the items blocking his way. you sighed and he noticed how fidgety you were. he put up a small smile. his entertainment from you didn’t end at the breakfast table. 

he scooted closer to you, pretending to bump into you with the pile of tall wooden planks in his arms. he heard you hiss, and that was the signal to begin. “oops didn’t see you there shorty.” there was a change in his voice, a more aggressive type of approach. 

“you’re doing that on purpose.” you checked the pained area of your forearm.

“what if i’m not? it could be an honest mistake.” he tilted his head away from the wood to see you.

a held-in soft disbelief laugh came out of your lips. “honesty doesn’t really blend in well with you.” 

jaehyun gasped with arched brows. “wow i’m very offended— you think this face..” he largely gestured himself. “would ever lie?”

“if you want to hear me saying you’re handsome.. it’s not happening.“ you took the rope to hang on a nail. 

“but you did say it.” he singsonged and you could push him off the loft but that could only happen in your head. 

“then that’s an honest mistake.” you flashed a forced smile at him. you carried the boxes stacked upon one another. “if you have a huge ego like that i bet you never dated. no girl would ever date you.” 

jaehyun fell silent, his mood to bash you suddenly changed. the shifts in his steps became heavier and as if he was putting his anger upon them. he didn’t like being reminded of sue, even if you unconsciously did so. “can’t you just keep quiet as you work? do you always have something to say? keep your damn mouth shut if you think all the fun you get is from belittling people.”

“okay sheesh sorry i didn’t know you have a heart for people too.” you removed your helmet to relieve the discomfort from it. 

as time passed— two hours to be exact, the more your guilt begin to seep in you. jaehyun never spoke after that. silence was like death at this point. not a hint of sniffs and sighs from him. did you go too far that he actually chose not to talk anymore? all you thought about was the pact he suggested. what now? anyone could appear any moment. 

this wasn’t like you at all. you hesitated to talk to him and to give the first move to bicker. you stood there staring at him piling boxes after boxes and sweeping the floor where dust accumulated like piles of sand. you bit your lips because screw this, you hated this atmosphere, you hated this silent treatment. “j-jaehyun?” you called out.

nothing. 

“hey-”

“hm? guilt eating you up now?” you froze at his voice as he chuckled. “it has, hasn’t it? look at your face!” he was laughing, his hands holding his ballooning stomach. “y/n you should’ve seen yourself!”

your gaze followed his hands that quickly took his phone placed at one corner. he was recording and your obliviousness blinded you. “oh you have no idea how much i wanted to laugh! my cheeks hurt so bad! hahaha!”

“you’re not using that to blackmail me!” you strided towards him.

he put his arm high as you struggled to reach it. “i might as well do that thanks for the idea!” faintly you heard his friends coming to check as to why their friend had the laughter of the century, only to find you both bickering again like this morning.

“delete that video jaehyun! i mean it!” “not until you agree to clean the loft!” “that’s like telling me to do everything!” “then that’s exactly what i’m telling you to do!”

johnny put up his phone to recording the struggling you and jaehyun enjoying his time to take advantage of his height. “dude i’ve never seen jaehyun this happy since sue broke up with him.”

“yeah his dimples are legit showing it’s scary me.” mark squinted at the two of you.

jaehyun swung his arms to avoid your attempted catches. he scrunched his nose and although that was undeniably cute, you couldn’t afford to feel humiliated for another two weeks. “jaehyun please delete it!”

“it’s not convincing enough you know?” “stop joking around we could fall!” you hissed. “fall?! then stop trying to get my phone!” “then put down your ridiculously long arm!” “yours are just too short!” “i swear— delete the footage!”

“you have to sound like you beg for it—” he cackled and with a few stretches you managed to reach his wrists as you lunged forwards. “oi stop!” that one last reach only made jaehyun lose his balance and fell backwards. 

and all you heard were yells of worry.

to say that you both gladly fell on soft pillows of hay was an understatement. at least that what it looked like to your friends. jaehyun was shocked, his arm felt numb. he took a good look at you and there you were laying on his arm with pale lips. “hey, you okay?” his hands were already out to help you. “y/n—”

“m’lady!” hendery rushed to you, causing jaehyun to flinch at the tone of his voice. he gently took your right arm, but you gritted your teeth and asked him to take the left. “painful?”

“not that serious.” you said, feeling the stares from jaehyun. “ew don’t look at me like that. i’m fine, really. let’s just call it a day.” you gave a small smile and he wasn’t buying it.

because jaehyun saw you clung onto hendery for dear life.