#anyway I'd be very interested to see if there are any correlations

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

Because I’m curious, DL fans who also play Genshin, reblog with who your favourite DL is character along with your favourite weapon type and element in Genshin, plus who your current main is.

[miss-midnightt]

I just watched an absolutely incredible video about Rufus Shinra and why he can see the whispers (Link) and wanted to add on to it. It's quite long, so I'll provide a summary(ish):

Essentially, the creator of the video had three theories as to why Rufus could see them: I want to dive into the last two, which hypothesize he is Cetra or had Jenova cells injected into him (more so about the Cetra).

About the Cetra theory:

Essentially, it states that he is part Cetra because he a) can see the whispers and b) seems to possess some level of precognition, much like Aerith.

Firstly, I'd like to discuss how his mother is only mentioned to have died when he was young; this doesn't necessarily mean that Ifalna is his mother, as she can't be the only pureblooded Cetra alive after two thousand years (unless she's the product of a lot of inbreeding).

He seems to show up at pivotal moments by almost pure coincidence (or so it seems) without having any explanations offered. This sense for important moments and appearance of precognition becomes more interesting when you take a look at the Diamond Weapon's attack on Shinra Tower.

Rufus ended up having his life saved during the Diamond Weapon's attack from the very escape route he had suggested as a child, which just so happened to have the entrance exactly where he was taking shelter. keep in mind that Rufus was only five years old when he made the suggestion; President Shinra had no reason (unless you consider the humiliation aspect) to include this in the plans. However, if the President somehow knew that Rufus was special/Cetra, then the inclusion (his office is 70 floors up, mind you; installing that seems a little silly if only based off of the ramblings of a kindergartener) makes a hell of a lot more sense.

The President has also maintained that he doesn't believe in sentiment or attachment; if he had known Rufus was Cetra, it would have been a legitimate reason to include the escape route. Shinra scientists thought the scribblings of young Aerith were important, so why not the seemingly logical ramblings of a five year old who was also Cetra be just as crucial? Also, Rufus did not only say an escape route should be built, he said why; if an enemy attacked from the top their would be no way to escape...which is exactly where the Diamond Weapon attacked from.

Rufus also seems to have these...gut feelings, let's say. Sounds similar to Aerith, right? How she feels pulls to places, to things, suchlike Rufus. This also ties into the Jenova Cells theory, so let's dive into that...

Jenova Cells:

I'd like to start right off of the bat by saying this is purely speculation. I find this interesting nonetheless. This also will probably jump around and seems a bit more headcanon-y and random than the stuff about the Cetra, considering I am wayyy more interested in the Cetra theory. Anyway, let's dive in!

The theory that Rufus was the first (before even Genesis) to receive Jenova cells is plausible for several reasons. First, I'd like to discuss the year in which he was born. In the OG, his age was stated to be 25, which was changed to 30 in the remake--pretty random and unnecessary, at a glance. But it gets a lot more interesting once you realize that that would mean that Rufus was born in 1977...the year Jenova was discovered at the North Crater.

President Sinra has done some awful stuff, and I honestly don't think he'd be totally above injecting unknown substances into his unborn child (especially if Rufus was actually a bastard child that he decided to use in experiments then keep.) Anyway...

While some may argue that his eyes are blue, not glowy green, the glow and green come from mako, not Jenova. Even if there is a correlation between eye/hair color and Jenova cells, he does have light, bright blue eyes (like Genesis) and silvery blond hair. It could be a design choice, it could mean something more.

Then there are the physical strength aspects. He was able to go toe to toe with Cloud, not even showing visible signs of fatigue. Heck, he even parried a blow from the Buster Sword! While Cloud is not a true SOLDIER, he is strong enough that people think so anyway when he tells him that, and also beat Reno, Rude, and other powerful enemies. Meanwhile, Rufus soloed Cloud (with the help of Darkstar/Dark Nation) and didn't seem to be seriously injured.

Furthermore, when Rufus is infected with Geostigma in On the way to a Smile, he says something along the lines of "it felt like it [the Geostigma] was calling to me..." Now, this sounds suspiciously like the pull receivers of J cells feel to Jenova (which could help explain Rufus' presence at the Northern Crater).

I'd really recommend watching at least some of the video, as it explains things way better than I did (it's very long though, so be warned).

Lastly, I'd like to discuss something not touched upon in the video: his coins, more specifically the side of the coin with Darkstar/Dark Nation on it. This coin depicts Darkstar/Dark Nation and flowers, specifically mandragora/mandrake flowers. Why is this important? There are several reasons.

These flowers have been involved in stories and superstitions about magical powers and other tales of the like. It was said in some tales that they could only be harvested in moonlight by a black dog attached to a cord (Darkstar/Dark Nation, anyone? She does appear on that side of the coin, hmm....) after proper rituals had been conducted. Some tales said that they were tied to dark powers, that, get this, drove men mad if they heard their roots shriek. The roots are also highly poisonous.

Now, I'd like to look at color theory and the symbolism of colors in FFVII. In this game, the color yellow seems to symbolize life, hope, and rebirth, whereas purple seems to symbolize desolation, corruption, and death. Yellow is associated with Aerith through her flowers, and purple with Sephiroth for his shadowy magic. They are also contrasting colors; two sides of the same coin (pun absolutely intended). How does this connect to the coins and flowers, you ask? Well, the mandragora/mandrake flowers have a color range of...purple to yellow. Interesting, because Rufus is easily one of the most morally grey characters in the game.

Again, all of this is wild ramblings and pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt.

[autismvault]

Hey! I'm the one with the Wayne dating a nerd girl request! I just wanted to let you know that I'd love to see what headcanons you've got for this ^^

Wayne & Ripper with a Nerd Reader

i decided to try and do ripper anyways! it was a fun challenge. i kept the interests very vague just so it’s more generalized :) i hope you like it!

Wayne

⁃ possibly one the most supportive guy you’ll never meet.

⁃ gives you his undivided attention when you talk about the things you enjoy. except for the occasional story about either a previous hockey game or something silly he did with raj which he always seems to be able to tie into about every conversation.

⁃ loves to buy you little knickknacks that remind him of you.

⁃ when you first met wayne, you briefly brought up a game you were obsessed with as a kid. after he told you that he’s never played the game, you thought nothing of the conversation and moved on with your life. a few weeks later, he approaches you to tell you everything he could remember from the game you raved about.

⁃ confused about what even prompted this in the first place, wayne quickly follows up by telling you he played the entirety of the game for you.

⁃ isn’t a ‘typical’ nerd but once anything, and i mean anything reminds him of hockey, he’s talking about it for the next 10 minutes at the very least. over time, he does this with your interests as well. the references don’t always make sense (they do in his head), you have to applaud him for being creative at the very least.

Ripper

⁃ has no idea how to form any kind of positive bond with someone other than his typical boy-friends. while he does avoid a ton of people on purpose, ripper has a hard time having genuine conversations with just about everyone.

⁃ he doesn’t really know how to communicate the fact that you two have something in common and he’d like to talk about it with you. everything just comes out bad. seriously. he sounds disingenuous and you can’t tell if he’s just telling a really bad joke.

⁃ after a ton of awkward encounters, ripper finally blurts it out. “I want to be your friend! I know it seems weird that I’d want to be around you but I really-“ ripper stops himself, realizing how aggressive he’s coming off.

⁃ before he can try and backtrack, you give him a simple ‘yes’ to avoid any more embarrassment for him.

⁃ you two have a lot in common! it’s a bit unexpected at first, but Ripper is a huge nerd! over time he gets more open about his interests, but it takes a while.

⁃ being a little.. socially unaware.. ripper genuinely believes he’s one of the coolest people ever. scared that his interests go against his oh-so-great reputation, he never tells anyone about things he genuinely enjoys. until he met you obviously!!

⁃ can be a bit of an inattentive listener at first. uncomfortable that you might ask what he likes, he’ll steer the conversations into completely different directions that had absolutely nothing to do with the original topic.

⁃ you know he tries nonetheless. when he’s genuinely comfortable with you, ohmygod ripper does not stop talking about the stuff he likes. you both connect over a ton of mutual interests which definitely helps a bunch.

⁃ loves to learn more about what makes you happy! he’s not a sweet talker by any means, but he definitely knows how to make you feel appreciated. similar to wayne, he’ll always buy you little knickknacks correlating to whatever you’re interested in at the time. he’s kind of the ultimate gift giver.

[fnaffersblog]

Alright take two.

Spoilers for the sun and moon show episode

the sun and moon episode RUIN Sun TRAPPED Moon in VRCHAT LOLOLOLOL See link above

It's late and EVERYTHING is funny

(Trigger Warning Below Cut for: discussions of violence [Bloodmoon, Jigsaw], discussions of mental health [Sun], swearing, [because I'm incorrigible])

I'll be honest I do NOT like the name Jigsaw. I just simply do not like it. It's just not clicking with me for some reason. It sounds like the name is still up in the air in the show as well, but I hope I settled with it real quick if it does become the canon name for this dude.

I couldn't tell you WHY. It's just not sitting with me yet, which is bothering me because it's such a silly reason to dislike the appearance of a character. Especially since I REALLY like this guy.

yeah ya'll are right. Moon's concern for Sun's wellbeing is endearing

More of a gripe with Security Breach, but they missed an opportunity to call the game Glampire. I mean, come on. It's right there!

I try very hard not to be someone who nips about stuff on the show but the 'watch to the end to see...' is... really annoying. I've had to click off a couple videos because I was just... I dunno, they struck me the wrong way? Like, I'm already watching the episode? I want to watch the episode? I don't want to watch the episode when that thing pops up, makes me feel like I'm being told my attention span is not long enough or something. It feels kinda... insulting? But it feels dumb to call it that. It's just something I'm perturbed by. :/ I feel like I saw someone else mention this somewhere, maybe here or in the comments of a vid. So I hope it's not just a me thing.

I wonder why they started doing that? Maybe people were only watching so far into the videos? I'd be genuinely interested in seeing the analytics of the channel. I know that's not an option lol, but I just like data and looking at data. Correlating it to decisions and stuff. ANYWAY

I've also never understood peoples, like, people point out the cameras a lot as being shorter than normal or taller than normal or shakier and ascribing that to being a character when it just always felt like camera work to me. Cause, you know, it's VR CHAT, they gotta work with what they got.

But I did kind of understand this episode, because all I could imagine as Moon was walking through the Arcade back area was Ruin/Jigsaw/'whatever their name is when it's cemented in the future' doing that goofy, like, long legged cartoon walk where someone's sneakin' around in like tom and jerry or loony toons.

or Sims 4 because this is the closest gif I could find lol

THEY'RE SO GODDAMN MENACING RRRRRRRRRGH

They make me genuinely nervous when they TALK it's so GOOD

Like, my heart clenches up you know what I mean?

"THERE'S NOTHING TO SEPERATE" SLAPPIG MY LEGS SLAPPING MY LEGS YESSSSSSSSSS

BOP IT TWIST IT BREAK IT BEND IT KILL YOUR FAMILY FUCK AROUND FIND OUT SPIN IT

LOL THEY DID IT RIGHT AFTER I DID IM WHEEZING

This guy is so. They're SO interesting to me. They're

They remind me of Bloodmoon. But only a little bit. In, like, a similar but opposite way.

so Bloodmoon, like I've said before, was built for killing. It was weaved into their code from the get-go to be violent. But they also enjoyed it, killing people was something they relished in.

This guy also seems to enjoy killing people, but unlike Bloodmoon, if they are to be believed, they are a fusion between Sun and Moon. As far as we know Sun and Moon were not programmed with any sort of penchant for violence. There was Killcode, but Killcode was a virus before he gained sentience, and if New Moon is anything to base off of, those violence urges were not hard coded into him. And if the AI is to be believed the only two folks in this particular robot are Sun and Moon.

Which seems to me like wherever this want for torture came from, they developed it on their own. Whether that be because of the events of the Ruin DLC or what, I don't know but I'm super excited to see all that unfold.

They also seem to enjoy it differently. Bloodmoon killed his victims, violently. They seemed to enjoy the viscera and gore of murdering people more than the lead up. After all they liked blood.

This guy is much more patient, all the way down to how they speak. They enjoy causing PAIN. It's a game to them, because it's fun. Their enjoyment comes from the torment before the kill. It's why he describes what he's going to do to Moon, I don't even think they mention killing at all, THAT'S what he enjoys.

"Moon suggest a different game! Moon suggest a different game!" Lol

"Rock a bye baby *doge w/dolphin sounds*" Had me crying.

As Jigsaw was following Moon back out of the arcade, they'd pass into a more shaded area and his eyes glowed which was Really cool and also Really unsettling.

"We can make them count as limbs" fuck me he's so unsettling

STOP DOING THE POOR SINNERS HAND BIT STOP IT STOP IT

PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF

WE'RE PUTTING IT THE CABINET

" I don't owe you anything."

"Yes you do! You owe me a game!" Pouty face. (:(

Should have suggested, like, a vocal rendition of Rush E or The Diva Dance from The Fifth Element or something.

I guess... they're robots though. So maybe notes like that wouldn't affect them. Might have set them on fire thought maybe?

Moon's performance was very nice! It really is a good song for his character. It takes a lot of confidence to sing in front of ANY type of audience.

Jigsaw really takes everything in stride. Moon insults him and he doesn't even respond at all.

The lil' nose boop.

The little head bonk.

"I'm yOU remember?"

OOOHHH He does NOT like cheating OOOOOOHHHHHHHH EFFFFFF

I was wrong there are something's he does not take in stride

I

LOVE him. He is shooting way up on my list of characters I look forward to seeing in episodes.

"Well I'm still standing here!" "And I'm way better than I ever was." LOL

You know I can see no cons of creating a portal gun. I think that would be highly beneficial and there would be no terrible outcomes that ignite from the building of a piece of machinery that allows instantaneous travel between two designated locations via breaking the very fabric of space time. Not a single bad thing could come from making something

Yeah okay never mind

(Sorry I gotta poke a leettle bit of fun at the guy who decided making the Newton Star was a good idea thinking making another high-tech piece of equipment is a good idea. I'll make fun of the satellite too, probably, when it comes around don't ya'll worry)

"Ohhhh NOOOoooo DOn't LEEaave ME MOOOnnn PLEEEeaase." As Moon just turns around and walks away

Followed immediately by a fucking jump scare Jesus Christ

But it worked right? It fucking worked, it lulled me into a false sense of security. Like, this guy who was threatening Moon's limbs not seven minutes earlier went into goofy silly clown mode and I fell for it sooooo, like. It worked.

It sounds like this was the first time Moon actually said anything about his trip to another dimension to Sun. So this is being dropped onto Sun with almost no warning.

Sun learned Moon would be gone for a week, and immediately went 'can we hang out?'

He very much needs some support right now. We're, what, a week post-hallucination episode? He needs his support group with him right now, it is a critical point, but he's too afraid to ask for it straight up so instead he's asking around it so to speak.

Instead of asking Moon to stay or telling him what the problem is, he's asking if Moon will play a game with him instead. Hang out. Be in his presence.

There are so many reasons this could be. Perhaps he would feel selfish asking Moon to hold off on completing this satellite to stay with him, especially if he's not comfortable with telling Moon WHY just yet, because if he doesn't offer a reasonable explanation then there's no justification for Moon staying, at least in Sun's eyes. It could be embarrassment over the issues, maybe he feels like he's blowing it out of proportion. Maybe he feels like he's asked or taken too much support already, and outright asking for more will end in not having any support at all.

Any number of things. It's easier to ask now when he knows Moon is 'not busy', maybe even more likely to say yes. And he's grasping for it too, "any random game" he just doesn't want to be alone because he just found out he's going to be alone very suddenly in a time when he should not really be alone at all, whether he knows that or not. He certainly doesn't want to be.

I see people often say that 'the worst thing someone can tell you is no'. They generally mean it in a positive way? I guess? I think Sun is at that point where, yes, one of the worst things you could say to him is no. So even an unenthusiastic 'I don't REALLY want to hang out with you' yes is better than a 'no'. Because a no means he'll be alone for sure, while a unenthused yes still means he won't be alone. Does this make sense? It feels clunky, did I explain this right?

Yeah the demeanor change from after asking Moon about the satellite, to finding out he has to leave for it, to finding out he's not leaving right away, to finding out Moon is going to hang out with him despite not sounding enthusiastic about it (because at least its something, you know?) was a trip.

I know Moon's probably stressed right now too, but the 'isn't there something you wanted to drag me along with' was unnecessarily hurtful.

I feel like we're slowly leaning back into past cycles with these two. Like, Moon not telling Sun about something big and important like that. Sun pushing down problems into something else. We'll see. It's just hints at it for now.

Sorry for the downer boo boo ending to the post ;-;

Maybe the next one will be a bit cheerier?

[solcrownn]

Hiya! I'm from the pukicho 'controversial opinions' post. Can you tell my about your other language musings if you have any? I'm a linguist and I'm very interested!

oh, wow! yeah, for sure! basically, back in 2020 i kept myself busy by tinkering with a basic 1:1 cipher, and most of that was streamlining english notation, just for fun-- i completely understand how conlang is directly antithetical to how used languages work. so the changes i made were:

removing the letter C, as i mentioned in pukicho's post, since it's been made redundant. where C is used in words, the letter that correlates to the sound can be used, like an alphabet is, well, actually intended to work.

letter blends! i got rid of them. they also fail to apply to the basic function of an alphabet. therefore i simply added letters for th, ch, and sh. didn't run into the need for any others.

the other weird letter pair. QU. why did we do that?? that's a rhetorical question, i'm aware enough of its journey, i simply think it should end. q without the u is used in a lot of naturalised loanwords, but for this project i wasn't too worried about that, because it would lead to me having to make new anglicization methodry and that sounds like hell. maybe one day.

tried to do something for GH (per: "THROUGH"; in "ENOUGH" an F would be used) and related letter duos, but never ultimately decided on how it could best be streamlined. left it alone.

removed upper/lower case. only one case. you can see here i really only use one anyways.

at this point i started running out of things to do with my cipher, so i made new letters for notating plural form and future tense and past tense, as well as common endings like -er and -ing, which i don't actually think would be great to implement pretty much anywhere.

and that's all i can think of off the top of my head! i'd love to hear your thoughts as an actual linguist! thanks for asking :).

[yridenergyridenergy]

Hi, I've been contemplating a trip to Japan with the main purpose of going to lives. Could you explain what the general process of applying for and buying tickets from overseas is? What do I need? How do the mobile site raffles (for DEG/sukekiyo/kyo online and so on) work? I'd really appreciate any insight on this as I've never had to go through the process myself and I've seen people saying that getting tickets is hard.

Hello! With a new tour announcement looming on the horizon hopefully next Wednesday, this is perfect timing.

Basically, disclaimer that I don't know in advance if Dir en grey will stick with TicketTown again, but assuming they do:

When they announce the new tour dates, they will usually also reveal when you can apply for tickets. And that, of course, will be for the first round of a knot lottery. If you are not a member of a knot, you probably have to wait 3-4 weeks for the general admission tickets on e-plus. See below for details, but it does not have a good prospect.

For the 25th anniversary tour22 From Depression To_____, they were not very fair and they announced that tickets were going live without any advance notice... Which sucks because there is sometimes a correlation between how fast you were to apply and how good your ticket number ends up being.

IF YOU ARE NOT PART OF A KNOT

AKA if you do not have any Japanese address to use to be a member of the official fan club, whether a friend's address or a Tenso address.

I believe that Dir en grey uses e-plus for general admission, but that site also follows the global trend of multi-factor authentification and they require a Japanese mobile phone number to send a text-message for validation.

So honestly, your best bet to avoid the mobile number obstacle is to get a Japanese shipping address with Tenso, sign up to a knot for something like $30 a year, and that way you can use TicketTown freely.

Last alternative: try and get a ticket on the resale market. Some people might announce that they have extra tickets on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. A popular resale ticket website is TicketJam, but that also requires a Japanese address in case the tickets ever become paper and get mailed again.

--------------------------------------------

IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF A KNOT

Registering on TicketTown

I can't remember exactly what I input when I created my account, but when I tried to create a new accont, it does seem that it would work with a foreign address. Everything is in Japanese, so just good luck finding your country in Katakana.

(Essentially, prepare your TicketTown account before the tickets go on sale!)

Apply for a ticket

Go on the category that interests you; in this case, let's go to Dir en grey.

Select the tour and round of lottery that you are looking for or that applies. Check the dates, but basically if the period for application is over, you shouldn't see a button to apply anymore anyway.

If I click on the latest round for the additional show at Shinjuku Blaze, you can see that the page asks you for your a knot login credentials before moving forward, but you also need to click on the section at the very bottom of the page to develop that box and there should be a button to apply for a ticket in the type that you want: either VIP, Exclusive or Regular a knot.

[Types of tickets:

The difference is that VIP costs way more but guarantees you a spot closer to the stage, so a much better ticket number. That being said, the official description mentioned that you could be really close to it but that's false: at Club Citta', VIP ranged from 1 to easily 150, and I don't know if you realize how many people 149 is in front of you if you aren't the tallest hah.

Exclusive usually puts you in a spot that honestly sucks: either on the second floor at the very back of the venue, or near the console for sound and lighting also near the bak... But it depends on each venue, so it might be worthwhile in some cases.

Both VIP and Exclusive come with the bag of exclusive goods: the portrait set, a coloured ticket, merchandise of varying levels of usefulness.

Regular a knot is probably just like regular general admission, but you *should* have a better ticket number than someone in gneral admission. That has not always been true for me, at all, but I had indeed applied very late into the second round of a knot lottery... Usually, a regular a knot ticket would still be a coloured design ticket rather than the general admission. ]

Lottery results & payment

I think that you receive an email when the results come out, which are still preliminary, as the actual ticket number will be revealed closer to the show date. But of course they want you to pay up-front, so you follow the link in the email or go back to your TicketTown account, then you confirm which ones you keep and enter your payment information for them. That would be credit card only, for overseas users, from what I remember.

On the night of the show, click to see your ticket but make sure not to click on the "use ticket" button or something like that.

By the way, at the shows, besides this upcoming Shinjuku Blaze special event, they usually never ask for ID or even for a proof that you are part of a knot.

If you have any questions once the next tour's tickets are up for sale and that I can actually provide concrete examples of what you should click on and what the exacy wording is, then feel free to ask!

[actias-android]

I've been thinking really hard for a couple days about the definition of hearttype, that it's something you identify with instead of as, and I find that...really unsatisfying and confusing, actually, since 'with' and 'as' are so hard to define in the first place and colloquially are identical; the only place that really makes a hard distinction is the otherkin community.

So, here's a thesis statement, and I'd like to hear what people think about it.

A kintype is an identification of the self as something, whereas a hearttype is an identification of something outside the self.

I was trying to find a common thread in all the explanations I've seen from otherhearted people, and what stood out to me was that almost every one of them comes back to something along the lines of, "[thing] is not me, but [thing] is like family to me." I had some internal debate of what that's even supposed to mean, because 'kin' literally means 'family' so how is that different? I also wondered if it was an intensity thing, and ended up ultimately deciding, not really; there's correlation but no causation there. Then I realized the actual difference is that it's an identity located outside the self.

Along the way I had a few ideas that were somewhat off the mark or not fully formed, so keep that in mind if you're thinking, 'hey, are you straight out contradicting something you posted a couple days ago?' Yeah, probably! It's a process. I don't mind people seeing the process. Anyway...

An identity located within the self can be expressed as a simple "I am" statement. But hearttypes necessarily cannot be expressed that way. They can only be expressed by referencing sometime external to you. So, in my case, I am a faery. I am not a moth; however, moths are especially significant to me. The identity is projected onto moths, who wouldn't know me from Adam even though I feel a strong and very important kinship with them, and my relationship to them through that identity is what is actually called being moth-hearted. I can't word it as "I am," I can only word it as "they are (in relation to me)," which is not how it's generally understood right now. We're trying to fit the wrong part of the equation into a phrase that doesn't suit it to begin with, I think.

Which would explain why it's such a pain to define and nobody seems to be able to put it concisely. We're looking at a thing that isn't even itself the identity in question and trying to go from there.

It probably sounds like an extremely pedantic detail, but I think it's actually one to think about. There are likely other confusing aspects of identity that we might sort out by thinking in terms of identity potentially being something outside oneself, that one projects onto external things.

And on top of that I've been very much having thoughts about the fact that the existence of identity traits implies other identities with the opposite of those traits. For example, what we generally call a kintype we define as serious, intrinsic, and self-oriented. This implies the existence of identities which are casual, extrinsic, and/or other-oriented, in any combination with the original traits. What traits do we value enough to assign to this hypothetical punnet square of a definition system? Could we understand more about ourselves by examining other potential combinations of identity traits? Probably! It's been an interesting exercise at the minimum.

Anyway, hopefully that made sense. I'd very much like to hear thoughts on it, especially from other otherhearted people.

Also at some point I'd like to actually try and come up with a list of aforementioned traits and see what that grid looks like, just as an exercise. I sort of did it once and it was interesting as hell, so a larger scale attempt may be in order.

[mymblesbuir]

personal gender ramblings (but free to rb if you want? kinda interested if anyone relates tbh)

as a transmasc genderfluid person I feel so much more comfortable with the "woman" part of my gender now I have facial hair, much more body hair, and a deep voice.

my levels of dysphoria wrt my body bear very little correlation to the gender I feel at any given time. I am currently feeling more woman than anything else, and I absolutely cannot fucking wait for my top surgery later this year, and love seeing my moustache in the mirror. over two years on T and I've been comfortable with she/her pronouns in a way I haven't been since before I realised I wasn't cis.

I think I would still be uncomfy if a stranger irl looked at me and referred to me as "she" or "woman" or whatever because I'd know they looked at the shape of my body, boobs and all (can't hide em in the summer...) and read that as "female". but internet strangers who can't see that I have tits (or, of course, friends who I've told about this)? sure! use whatever, I literally do not mind at all

so anyway yeah that's why my description says "any pronouns" now. it's very possible I will change my mind when I'm feeling more male again in the future but for now? go wild. I have the ultimate power of You Cannot Misgender Me and it feels great

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #111

(taken february 6th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I tried alcohol the first time because Mom offered me something she correctly assumed I'd like the taste of. I was either a pre-teen or young teenager. I've never tried any other sort of drug.

If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? I'm staying in the car. Probably. I'd be kinda hesitant to if I was all alone.

How long until your next birthday? My birthday was literally yesterday, so a very long time.

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? A couple days back in a piece of chocolate.

What’s the last song you heard? A slowed/reverbed version of "Teeth" by 5SOS.

When you say you love someone, do you mean it? Fuck yes I do.

Have you held hands with anyone lately? A lot with Girt 'cuz he spent the weekend with me and we hold hands a lot on the couch and even when we sleep.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes; I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life and reminds me all the time that if I need something, tell him.

Do you have drama in your life? Not really.

Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? No; they're universally shared experiences and I think it's honestly dangerous to make talking about "gross" stuff seem like, taboo almost. Now yes, there are INSTANCES where it's not appropriate, but is it gross/wrong to do in general? Absolutely not. I probably sound kinda hypocritical cuz I REALLY don't like talking about sex as it pertains to me, but that is JUST for me. It's not because I think it's gross and stuff, it's just private. I couldn't care less if other people talk about their sex lives though.

Would you rather sleep alone or next to your SO? Next to Girt.

Have you ever sent a love letter? Pretty much, yeah.

Have you dated someone of another race? Yes. 100% pro interracial relationships so it was never an issue I held with Juan; it was other, personality-related things that had no correlation to his race that were problematic.

What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? I'm honestly not sure, but in total modesty and honesty I definitely got a lot of very high praises because I was just a good student.

What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? Uhhhh let's see... I'm actually not sure...? I'm sure there's SOMETHING, especially from childhood, but I'm blanking atm.

Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? In my head, anyway. Sometimes I will focus very heavily on the ideology - not necessarily quote, it varies - that I can and WILL get through whatever is going on. Back in the day I was an "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" person (I distinctly remember chanting this once when I had to take a freezing cold shower 😭), but it's since fallen in line with the remix of "I can do all things through me who strengthens me," something I very sincerely believe in and HEAVILY encourage people to remember with themselves, too.

What are you most envious of? Mentally well and rich people. People who are financially set for the rest of their fucking lives by simply existing.

Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Girt is very convinced he needs to lose a bit more weight when he ABSOLUTELY does not, and he can get defensive about it if you try to discourage him from this goal. I know he has self-confidence/image issues, and I hate it for him so much.

When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I still haven't seen Girt's room. 🙃

Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? I have zero memory of ever doing that and it absolutely does not sound like something I would've even considered doing.

Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? Bitch there ain't no famous people 'round here lmfao

Has anyone ever baked you cookies? I mean, my mother, haha.

What’s the lamest present you’ve ever given? I don't know. I'm told by pretty much anyone I've ever given a gift to that I give super thoughtful gifts and I definitely try to do so. I cannot fucking wait until I have a source of income so I can more regularly give my loved ones gifts...

If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? Absolutely not. We're either having a loyal, monogamous relationship or we're not having anything at all.

Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? I can just about promise I have as a kid at sleepovers and stuff.

Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? Hehe Girt. There's a great array of songs that I would slowdance to with him.

What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? Girt most regularly calls me "hunny" and I think it's really cute.

If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Oh my god, THAT is impossibly hard. I'm sure every animal would value and focus on different things, so I'd really have to think on this, I really would. I will say it'd be VERY cool to see with absolutely certainty JUST how alike we are at heart to apes by conversing with one.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An orca at SeaWorld (would never go again; I was a young child).

Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? I sure would, if I knew how to do it properly.

If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "I'm going to be awkward and uncomfortable and I'm so sorry" or something like that lmfao

Did you ever show up late for an important event? Not to my recollection.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? HA Girt's feet yesterday.

What was the last thing you took a picture of? The flowers Girt got me for my birthday.

How did you discover your favorite band? Ozzy: heard his music growing up thanks to my parents. Rammstein: I knew OF them somehow in high school, I can't remember the precise origin, and then I heard my first song by them via a Guitar Hero game.

Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Yes; I am considerably more likely to at least feel EVER so slightly more "down" if it's super cloudy and/or rainy. I used to LIVE for dark and gloomy conditions, including lighting in my own house, but I realized years ago that I very much benefit from being in brighter settings. Hot and/or humid weather also has a notable effect on me, that being that I become fucking miserable and irritable if I have to be in it.

When are you most likely to be bored? Eh, maybe like, late afternoon/early evening. That's not always the case, though.

What was the last big decision you made? This isn't gonna SOUND like a big decision, but it was to me: I finally added Girt's sister on Facebook. He was recently tagged in a picture with me so Ashley saw it and commented, and I felt like now that her Facebook presence was directly in my face (I already knew she had one, but you get it), it'd look rude to NOT reach out. And don't get me wrong, I've wanted to, I LOVE Ashley a whole lot, I've just been nervous from the start that she and ESPECIALLY their mother would come to hate me via Facebook because I am very open about what I believe in and support, and like her mother, Ashley is religious (though not to the extreme extent of Shelia, it looks like), and I just don't want to start shit when I inevitably share some anti-religion meme or something. I really, really want his family to continue loving me, but I'm also not about to pretend I'm someone I'm not on my own goddamn social media account. Guess we'll just see how everything goes.

Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Uh I guess Lake Gaston in Virginia; I want to say the last time Mom and I drove up there it was either for Aubree's birthday party, or... something else? I don't remember. Maybe Nick and Ashley's anniversary (they got married there).

What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? To be a very successful nature/wildlife/landscape photographer, maybe have something published in National Geographic.

What was the subject of your last phone conversation? Dad called on my birthday just checking up on things.

Name five things you can grab from where you’re sitting. A cup, my phone, my planner, the squishmallow Christmas fox Girt randomly got me, and my purse.

So, are you looking forward to being out on your own? (And if you’re already out on your own, how do you like it?) I never want to live purely on my own, but I honestly am very ready for Girt and I to have a place together. I'm gonna be VERY nervous to leave Mom, but I have to one of these days, and when Mom was in Tennessee and it WAS just us two, I fucking loved it. I went full stereotypical wife mode and actually felt useful. I know I was more productive and just acting more like an adult, at least slightly.

Would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? If I wanted a child, no. I have absolutely nothing against it for other people, but for myself? I just couldn't, I would feel WAY too weird growing the child of someone I didn't really know, when a massive part of the appeal of raising a kid *for me* is creating a little life between you and the person you're in love with.

When you like someone, and they don’t know about it, are you the type who wants to tell them, or them to make a move first? I may WANT to tell them, but I'm definitely the type that *prefers* them to make the first move.

Name a new friend you’ve made this year. Shelby. (: Well, I think we actually started talking in December, but close enough.

Have you ever known anyone that’s gone missing? Ummm I don't think so.

What game is in your game system right now? The PS2 has Silent Hill 2 in it, and the PS4 has Spyro the Dragon: Reignited Trilogy in it because Girt and I played it today!! :') I was losing my FUCKING mind, I love it so much.

Do you live near a pet store? Yes, a PetSmart. The mall that is also right by our house might still have a Petco, but I feel like it closed...

Who was the last person other than family to tell you that they love you? My boyfren. :') Well or maybe someone on Facebook in birthday message, I just don't feel like checking.

Have you ever been told that you resemble an animal or insect? No, that'd be offensive lmao

How many people have you kissed in the last month? Just Girt romantically.

What was the last picture you uploaded? Uhhhh I think it was a picture I took with my sisters that I posted in an Instagram story.

Is your about me long and detailed, or short and to the point? God I used to be SO bad about long intros haha, now I try to keep 'em pretty short wherever I have them.

What is your favorite type of cola? Just regular Coke.

Who did you spend your last birthday with? My birthday itself, just Mom, Girt, and Tobey for a lil while, however the family celebration was the day before, which I spent with Mom, Girt, my two sisters, my younger sister's boyfriend, Girt's mom, as well as Girt's nephew. His sister was also going to come, but she injured her foot and wanted to stay off of it.

Do you like apple soda? I've tried apple-flavored carbonated water and it was disgusting, honestly. Surprised me, because I usually LOVE apple-flavored anything.

What was the last thing that shocked you? Something Girt told me today that I just wasn't expecting, but it's private so I'ma just leave it at that. It was a good surprise though, haha.

How lonely are you right now? Not at all right now, actually! I had a good, busy weekend and am perfectly content having some me time.

What accent do you find most difficult to understand? Extremely heavy southern ones. Even when I live in an area where that's not at all rare, I still struggle understanding a lot of people around here.

Has your music taste changed over the years? From childhood, yes, but not very much since middle school-ish. Once I got into hard rock and metal, that's been my thing since. As a kid though, I liked your average pop hits as well as country music. I know, astonishing.

Have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? Nah.

Do you think the end of the world is near? Who knows. A gamma ray burst could melt us tomorrow. Or one may not hit the planet for a million years. It's not something I worry about nowadays.

Who makes you feel like you’re worth something? More than absolutely anyone, Mom and Girt do very regularly. But I'm lucky there are a number of people who do that.

How many pets is too many? This strictly depends on how many you are capable of properly, adequately providing for. There is no strict number. Different kinds of pets require different amounts of materials, care, etc., and the amount of time available to be invested in the care of these pets ALSO varies with every single person. As soon as you cannot manage to give your pet the care it absolutely needs (I'm not talking about all the rare luxuries), you have too many.

Do you know who your bridesmaid/best man will be? It's going to be my mom. I have no questions about this.

What is the best song by your favorite artist/band? I've answered with my *favorite* songs in the past, so for this, I'ma go for strictly what I think is the artist's best piece of musical art, like the ones that leave the strongest mark. For Rammstein's, it's absolutely "Stein um Stein (Stone by Stone)" imo, it's a FUCKING masterpiece. I think Ozzy's iiiiis... most likely "See You On the Other Side," but I also am VERY fond of "Ordinary Man" because that song is just him, it just tells his story and who he is beautifully. MAN I wanna list more of his, I just think he's a stupendous songwriter and has written such incredible pieces of music. In recent news I am so sad (but completely understand why) he's officially quit touring because of his health, I'm just waiting in absolute dread for the news to hit that he's passed away alskdjfalkwjekljraoiwejroieroeiraoisdjfalksdf I am going to shatter

How many times did your phone ring today? Three times; first Tobey called for Mom (her phone is being a total shit), then Dad called while she was talking to Tobey so I called him back and he didn't answer, THEN he called me back.

What theme do you want for your wedding? I want it to be gothic-y, very likely with a black and gold color scheme.

Do you have any of your future children’s names picked out? The Onion semi-recently posted one of their satire stories about a woman not wanting kids but having the overwhelming urge to still name humans and I was like............ same, bc I know EXACTLY what I want to name all potential children even though I very much doubt they'll ever exist lmfao

Would you ever date someone over the internet? I don't THINK I would again, but I wouldn't say absolutely not.

[heddagab]

Have you noticed any interesting things about personality and acting and how actors of different personality types approach their craft or portray characters? Thanks.

I assume you mean MBTI and/or Enneagram types, right? See, the thing is I'm still learning about myself as well and other people so I don't have a definitive list about all types. But I do have observations.

First of, I think that feeling vs thinking is kinda easy to determine because if you ask an actor the right questions and they're truthful, it'll jump out. I know I'm a feeler because of my preoccupation with feelings and it's what drew me to acting. You'll hear that acting is based around emotions anyway and while it's true, thinkers will respond with something that goes around it and describes a form/system or practicality.

I don't think acting methods are a foolproof way to determine an actor's type because in most cases it's something they have been taught so they might approach the method from their own type but the specific method does not determine their type because it's not always the method that works best on them, they might haven't even figured out the best method for them, they just approach what they learn from their own perspective. Sometimes actors like to try different approaches to strengthen their "weak spots" so that's also something to keep in mind.

It could determine the type of its creator though, very easily! Like Stanislavski showing signs of Fi and maybe Si with his method. Stella Adler probably was an ESTP. Methods that are very preoccupied with physical embodiment are probably made from SPs. Michael Chechov's shows signs of this from what I can recall. (It could also be a combo with a body type Enneagram)

I think SP types are the ones who will get physical if they're "method". Like Dustin Hoffman not sleeping and running around before a take while Lawrence Olivier (an STJ) famously frowing upon this. SFPs will usually emphasize how it's important to retain the feeling for the scene when it's time to shoot, not before. (ex. Robert Carlyle, Kim Bodnia) Some of them will not rehearse much or even at all because they place a lot of emphasis on spontaneity. They feel like repetition kills the juice of the situation they try to portray.

I've noticed FPs are the ones most prone to take some time to detach from the character while on the job, the transition betwen takes from their character's inner life to their own might take some time. I still haven't found a foolproof correlation between people who get influenced by their characters unconsciously even, like the clothing styles or the mannerisms but I tend to think this is some attachment influence from enneagram + feeling.

TJs are super organized people. I've had an ENTJ friend and I saw her Te in full force day in and day out. They won’t approach the character from an emotional standpoint, they will break down the scene in parts and then reassemble it so it seems effortless (at least that's the goal) I'd say the organization and preparation part in general is a J vs P thing but honestly it might be decent Te vs inferior/lack of it, I'm still pondering on that. I know though that both TJs and FPs finds it easier to communicate through dance, a non verbal form of communication.

I've also noticed lately how Glenn Close could be an sp/so instead of a so/sp let's say. She stated over and over how getting an Oscar would be nice, sure, but isn't the fact that she's nominated a proof that they recognize the effort she puts in her craft? So the win itself doesn't matter (status), her being recognized for her expertise is (process/craft). And she really means that, it's not the fake cardboard statement a soc dom could make to hide their bitterness. So a lot of actors who put the craft above awards/fame and they mean it/is shown through their actions, are sp doms for sure. (ex: avoiding award shows or not putting much effort into how they appear in them)

Also, being typed as several different types myself (by others and me) doesn't help either because I can't speak about myself in certainty and that sucks. I could have given you a way more detailed view of functions/types if I was 100% certain about my own type. I hope any of it was helpful or interesting regardless.

[drakenxemma]

Hello sweetie! 🌸 A lot of people in the fandom say that Draken and Inupi become friends 'cause Draken starts seeing Emma in Inupi, because of his looks. What do you think? I'd like to know your opinion on this. I hope I've made the point. Anyway thank you so much for keeping drakemma very much alive. 😘 You're amazing. 💌

Hi, anon❣ Thank you so much for the question. Before I answer, I'd like to make clear that, as always, this is just my personal and humble opinion, I may be wrong and I'm very open to different views.

I've read this idea around a lot, too, and I find it very interesting, but, to be honest, I'm not sure I am of the same opinion, firstly because I cannot see how this is supported in canon (and in fact I think it's not at all), and secondly because I don't think I like the idea of Inui being mistaken for someone else once again, it'd be unnecessarily sad and cruel. But let me explain why I'm saying this.

First of all, as we know, Koko used to see Akane in Seishu. Now, Koko and Seishu's backstory explains very well how and why that happened: Koko is traumatized by Akane's death, feels guilty for mistaking the two siblings and for saving Seishu instead of her when the fire happened (the severe burns will eventually led her to death), so he ends up overlaying and projecting the idea of Akane on her brother, cancelling Seishu's persona for years in the process, perpetrating pain and affliction to Seishu and to himself (Koko and Seishu's relationship makes me want to cry, seriously, it is one of the creepiest and saddest stories in tokrev in my opinion, both of them are consumed with trauma, both end up harming each other and suffer like hell, and both deserve better...).

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that, from a narrative standpoint, Koko seeing Akane in Seishu is directly connected to Seishu being both Koko's friend and Akane's brother, the three characters are connected and it's exactly this link what "allows" Koko's trauma to evolve in that specific way and to cause such bad consequences on Seishu. Now, let's just imagine the exact same story, but with Seishu not being Akane's brother: what would happen in this scenery from a narrative point of view? Would Koko equally lose Akane? Yes, he would. Would Koko equally suffer trauma? Yes, he would. Would Koko's trauma equally evolve in a tragic and devastating way? Yes, it would. Would Koko's trauma affect Seishu? No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't demage Seishu specifically in that case because Seishu would not be part of the scheme. Indeed, in canon, Seishu pays the price of Koko's trauma because he is simultaneously Koko's friend and Akane's brother and because he was saved "by mistake", which leads Koko to feel guilty and to lose his mind. In summary my point is: all of this happens because sadly the three characters (Koko, Seishu, Akane) were linked, Seishu's only fault is being, in Koko's eyes, what's left of Akane.

On the contrary, Draken and Emma have nothing to do with Inui, they don't have a common backstory or anything. What would be the point in repeating the same instance in which the poor Seishu is made invisible by someone else's suffering once again? Especially when this someone else is not correlated to him in any way. From a narrative standpoint, it just doesn't make sense. Draken, unlike Koko, would have ZERO reasons to project the image of his lost love on Inui. Actually blond hair is the only thing that Seishu and Emma have in common and I really think it'd be not enough to justify such a behavior on Draken's part.

In the end, I'd like to add what is, according to me, the reason why Draken and Inui become friends, the reason why their friendship lasts and they support each other and and help each other. As we know, to some extent Seishu used to take advantage of Koko's abilities in making money to reach some of his goals in Black Dragons. When Seishu and Koko part ways and Seishu is left without that "money machine", he has to learn how to be "financially independent" and I think here comes his friendship with Draken. Inui, thanks to Draken and the bike shop, learns how to make money by himself with an honest job. Probably Draken and Seishu created a solid friendship working side by side over time. I guess it's just as simple as that. I think Inui respects Draken a lot because he finds in him a healthy friend, someone trustworthy. At the same time I think Draken respects Inui because he finds in him an emotionally recovering person, someone who is trying to deal with past mistakes, sufferings and regrets, just like he's doing himself. I think Draken genuinely respects Seishu for who he is and that's the kind of friendship someone with Seishu's past deserves. It makes sense. I truly doubt Draken is unconsciously searching for a replacement for Emma, I doubt he's looking for her in other people. It'd be totally out of character and inconsistent with the way he deals with Emma's death, in my opinion. While Koko's trauma and pain led him to delirium and to see Akane in a different person, Draken faces trauma in a healthier way, he succeeds in doing something for himself, he focuses on his career and, as we know by now, he goes as far as still fighting to bring Mikey back and to protect his friends. In other words, Draken misses Emma, loves Emma, suffers for losing her, but he manages to go on with his life because he knows that's what Emma would want. Admitting that he sees her in Inui would mean admitting that Draken is actually very much out of control (like Koko was) and I don't think that's the case.

That's why I just can't see Draken doing the same thing Koko did to Seishu: the two just face pain and loss differently, which is totally realistic because different people deal with trauma in very different ways.

Having said that, I'd like to make it clear that I don't mean to say one is not excusable while the other is simply exemplary. Trauma is trauma, I wouldn't go as far as depicting Koko as a total and irredeemable monster: he was deeply demaged and corrupted, he needed help, just like many other characters. The fact that on the contrary Draken succeeds in not doing such things, despite having undergone similar pain, is again indicative of the fact that trauma is trauma and people face it differently depending on the circumstances and many other factors (let's not forget that there's a timeline in which Draken is on death row for killing people and according to Takemichi he did that to avenge Emma's death). This is a very prevalent message in tokyo revengers, we can see how different characters with backstories and traumatic pasts ends up totally demaged, recovered or (partially) redeemed. I'm glad the author conveyed such a message, to be honest.

I also think, on an additional note, that separating Koko and Seishu was for the best and maybe, once they've fully recovered, they can finally have a sincere and genuine friendship where Koko sees Seishu exactly for who is and where Seishu forgives a redeemed Koko. Or I'd also like for them to be healthier individuals and care for each other, whilst staying separated.

[robincantfunction]

requested: yes/no(requests are open)

word count: 1201

warnings: slight mentions of racism nothing detailed in anyway at all though(mentions the black family as racists)swearing, one sex reference

lemme know if i missed any.

summary: fred and y/n are in a popular band together, and they're dating. the ships get too much and they have to tell their fans. but during an interview someone questions y/n about her racist family. but luckily fred is there for her, her hero. her lover boy.

song prompt 2: lvr boy - awfultune (i have to be honest i didn't really stick too much to it, but i had this idea so we are gonna go with it.

a/n: this is a modern au- the band is kinda supposed to give maneskin vibes but idk, although lvr boy isn't the best example of that-

toujours pur. one of the most popular bands globally, they were so frequently spoken about by all age groups, and just all people to be honest. they really were great. there music varied so much in genre, there was always something for everybody. the bandmates where what really made people love the band- on top of their killer vocals and riffs and just talent in general, their interviews, their youtube videos, their instagram lives, all of it made the public see what amazing people they truly were. fred weasley (lead guitarist) george weasley (rythm guitarist) y/n black (lead vocalist and ukulele player) harry potter (bass player) hermione granger (pianist) ron weasley (drummer) ginny weasley (acoustic guitarist). that summed up to a lot of gingers and a lot of talent. after endless obliviousness and shipping, ron and hermione finally got together- much to the fandoms satisfaction. harry and ginny were frequently shipped, but once ginny came out they started shipping her with luna, a known friend of the band. it was fun to both y/n and fred at first, all their friends were being almost nagged to get with the people they so obviously liked. it wasn't a safely guarded secret that fred and y/n were an item, they just never directly stated it. i mean what was the point? they loved each other, why vocalize it to the world? but then it happened. the tweets, the instagram posts, the tiktoks, every social media platform had to know if the hand holding, the cheek kisses, the 'i love you's', and the loving looks were all just out of friendship- or something much more. it was still fun initially, watching people try and figure out their relationship, but then it was brought into the interviews and the livestreams.

"why don't you guys just tell them? its so obvious anyway, and it's not like your hiding it." george asked after the band attempted a livestream, but ended it when the only comments were about fred and y/n. "why is it their business?" she responded softly. she wasn't wrong, but everyone except fred was still confused. "we know it's not. but come on, we're not gonna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with but it would stop all of that" ginny said, pointing to the livestream set up they have at the end of her sentence. fred and y/n knew they were right, but they were so comfortable how they were, they didn't want their relationship to be completely demolished. it was the last thing they wanted. and the last thing that either of them saw coming, but they were still cautious. "we have a couple interviews tomorrow, tell them or don't tell them. but it would be a good chance." both of them instantly knew what the other was thinking. the time has come. they're gonna tell them.

the next day were all sitting in front of an interviewer, and then another one, and then another one. and finally this one. "so, i know your name has never really been spoken about" the interviewer said, the band nodded "so what's with the band name?" everyone looked at y/n. she chuckled slightly and started explaining "so most of my family, not good people. they were pretty commonly associated with a racist organisation. like i said, not good people. well they have this family tree, personally i've only seen it once. me and my dad don't go to the family home often. it gives us the heebie geebies and they hate us. well anyway, the family tree says toujours pur, always pure. so i thought i'd mock them and suggested it as a band name. trust me, i've received many a message about it. they aren't happy." everyone chuckled, if y/n was one thing it was spiteful. "so just out of interest, has the band received any backlash about your family?" the entire band shifted in their seats, if there was one thing y/n rarely talked about it was her family. and fred was preparing to go into protective boyfriend mode. she shook her head "um, no not really." the guy looked somewhat hurt "oh. so racist family isn't something your fans have a problem with?" ok this guy was obviously being bitter, but before fred could say anything y/n jumped in "family by blood. not by nature. the only thing that correlates me with them is dna, and clearly they drew the short straw because they're missing some necessary brain cells. i'm not my 'family'. so no. i don't get backlash for something people who i've only ever had one conversation with did." the rest of the interview was very awkward. like, very.

"ok one last one and then we're done for the day" lily (their self appointed manager- not that anyone minded, she was a life saver) said, sending a sympathetic smile to y/n "i'm not doing it." everyone frowned, but understood somewhat. "y/n/n, love, one more. we'll tell them we're shagging like they want and then bounce" that made her chuckle, he always managed to that "lovely description of our relationship dear" everyone started laughing at the two. "ok. but if one more thing gets said about the fucking black family i swear to shit i will start throwing things."

the last interview was a lot more smooth. especially when fred held y/n's hand the entire time. that didn't go unnoticed by the interviewer, who commented on it a few minutes after she sat down. "so, fred and y/n. i know you to are" she paused and cleared her throat, whilst looking at their hands "close. and i know you're probably sick of hearing this but, what are you?" they chuckled a little "um... we're sorta dating" the interviewer smiled, and so did fred and y/n. it felt good to say it out loud. "i have to ask you, really quickly. is fred weasley your lover boy?" she asked, referencing their latest single "lvr boy". it was well known that y/n wrote the majority of their songs- specifically the slower bedroom artist vibe songs. y/n nodded sheepishly, never actually admitting that directly to the group no matter how obvious. "my room mate now owes me a tenner, thank you" everyone laughed, this was ok. she was ok.

"i'm sorry about earlier, love." she sighed "it's ok." he shrugged "no it's not. that was fucked up" both of their features softened "i was ok. i am ok. because you were there. and because you're here." they kissed "y'know 'm sorry bout your name. i know people give you shit for it" she pecked his lips again "don't worry about it." he shook his head "why didn't your dad take remus's name?" they both looked at each other "cause a name shouldn't be a burden. and with the person yuo love, it eases it all y'know. they don't care when they have each other." he smiled "can't wait till you have my name" he didn't mean to say it, panic evident in his eyes she smiled a genuinely happy smile "me neither" and she put her head in his chest.

he was her lover boy.

he owned her heart.

he owned her heart like no one else did.

she was always his.

[mallowstep]

I'd love to hear some ✨StarClan Slander✨ from you

starclan fucking sucks and i'm not afraid to say it.

ugh. where to begin.

okay, starclan sucks in a lot of different ways. like, a lot. it sucks from a narrative perspective, it sucks from a lives-of-cats perpsective, and it sucks from a worldbuilding perspective.

like: starclan is incredibly inconsistent as worldbuilding. it. gah. that part is most in my control when i write, so i try to really like. maximize said control. but if you compare the description of fireheart getting his nine lives to any modern starclan scene, it pisses me off. starclan is so fucking Cool, and now it's not.

i could go on for a while, but it's more of the same.

and then from a narrative perspective like. it causes so many problems. and i don't mean starclan causes problems for the characters, i mean starclan is simultaneously the cause of a lot of problems while the narrative wants us to believe they are the good guys. starclan causing problems? interesting. starclan causing problems but they're Very Good Actually? lazy.

this is a small thing but like it bothered in tbc? okay so. the fact that the clans' relationship to starclan has changed doesn't bother me. it's really interesting. they've been through this time of massive upheaval, something which often correlates with this uptick in spirituality.

i do not need convincing to believe that as the clans have gone through these past ten or fifteen years, with an exodus and the whole great battle (even setting aside the religious implications and just focusing on: big battle, lots of betrayal, lots of death), and everything with skyclan and darktail, yeah!

like, there was a spiritualism wave in the us after the civil war because that's what people/humanized cats do in those times. they latch on to spirituality and religion. why do you think witchcraft is on an uptick again in modern times?

however the problem is the Narrative never acknowledges this, which makes it feel not like an intentional culture change but authors being lazy. i'm not sure what's worse: authors just leaning on starclan because it's interesting and easy, or authors simply failing to convey the nuances of culture change.

whichever makes the erins sound better, pick that one. i have no lost love for them, but i try to keep my criticisms factual.

anyway, i digress, here's my favourite example:

in tbc, it's this Big Deal how the moonpool is the place of the medicine cats, and other cats cannot enter, Nope No Sir, which, like, really fucking confused me.

what?

do leaders not speak with starclan anymore? is that. is that not a thing?

i mean, in tpb, leaders visit the moonstone all the time. apprentices visit it before coming warriors. it's pretty normal.

and i'm fine with the culture of the clans changing for the moonpool to be a medicine cat exclusive: that does not fundamentally bother me. there's even the smallest nod to this idea in po3, during outcast, when they mention that the tradition of going to the moonstone/pool has fallen out of favour, and maybe that's bad.

and like, yeah, okay: i don't really understand Why it fell out of favour, especially in thunderclan. thunderclan had the Longest journey to the moonstone, and now they have either the shortest journey or one of the shortest, so there's really no excuse, but like. that's diaspora, you lose things, i'm okay with that.

what i'm not okay with is the sudden transformation of the moonpool to a Holy Place only Medicine Cats can touch. like, mothwing has been to the moonstone: she knows this isn't how it was. the others are young enough to not know, but then, when did this idea get started? who put it in their heads? why?

jayfeather has had so much pov, it wouldn't be hard to explain. he could've even taught alderpaw about it. or something could've been slipped into an early shadowpaw chapter. it really would not have taken much: a single line in outcast or something was all i needed to accept the moonstone/pool visitation tradition was dead (even if i think it should've continued), but unless i've forgotten, this is just. never explained.

this is how it Always Was (even though it wasn't, and there are cats who should Know it wasn't).

heck! heck! mistystar shared tongues with starclan in her novella. i don't remember where riverclan was during this scene in tbc, but my point is more. someone should've been able to say something. anything.

probably before the actual scene, given how few cats would know about this: bramblestar should since he was made a warrior in the forest territory, but i'll give the other leaders a pass. all i need is like. one line. from one cat. that's it. that's all i need.

finally, starclan obviously is uhhh. evil? it's evil, right, we can all agree? there is no evil starclan au we're In the evil starclan au, i should write a good starclan au.

the thing about this one is like. it's a product of the others. if starclan wasn't Real and Tangible, then like. then like. it wouldn't matter that they gave shitty advice and did terrible things, because now you just have cats dreaming of others, searching for answers in the Strict Code, and that would all make sense.

(did that paragraph like. read? i can't tell. basically, if starclan wasn't confirmed as a real thing with real dead cats, i would be fine with starclan cats being shitty and ooc, because now it's not actual cats we know and love, it's other cats' perceptions, memories, and inferences of them as they search their ancestors for guidance from the warrior code.

so of course their advice is going to be terrible and inconsistent and leafpool is going to decide spottedleaf said she should have kits and then starclan is going to backflip when the kits are born: all of that makes complete sense as long as starclan isn't an actual place. as long as it's just religion, just dreams and omens, there is no problem with that.)

and then if starclan like. if their role in the clans had been covered more thoroughly by the narrative. if how they gave shitty advice a lot was covered. i would also be okay with it.

but the best we get is mothwing's whole "yo uh. starclan doesn't save cats. i save fucking cats. give me my god damn credit for saving your fucking life." like that's a bad thing no. mothwing. queen. please continue ur so right.

and just as a cherry on top, the ableism in starclan is exhausting. it's its own thing, really, but like. i was talking with @foxstride about this. and like. how disabled cats will just have their disabilities erased.

personally, i'm okay with briarlight not being disabled in starclan. i think that makes sense for her character. i think it is Bad that the narrative's response to that was "now that she's dead she's finally happy again!", it should have been "thunderclan failed to give briarlight the actual support she needed to be happy", but the fact that she's not disabled in starclan doesn't actually bother me.

she was sick basically 100% of the time after her accident, and thunderclan was really shitty to her. do you remember how happy she was to "get" to sleep in the warriors' den? she was a fucking warrior that was her right.

thunderclan failed her, but the takeaway is "she couldn't be happy until she was dead and her disability was magicked away." that's bad. that's. i'm not okay with that part of it.

(briarlight deserves so much better than thunderclan.)

but for pretty much every other instance of it, there's none of that. maybe, maybe, you could make a similar argument for cinderpelt, but i would disagree with it.

my cinderpelt opinion is and always has been: she would never have chosen the path of being a medicine cat for herself, but she ultimately finds happiness and fulfillment with it. like, it wasn't right that she was forced to become a medicine cat because of her accident, but it was something she did ultimately enjoy and was happy to dedicate her life to. if she was given the chance to become a warrior after she had been a medicine cat for a while, she wouldn't have taken it.

it's part of why when i'm doing like. big time aus for warriors i still make her a medicine cat. because i like her growing to love it. i like that it's not right, how it happens, but she still loves it eventually. it's a very interesting idea to me that there aren't many characters to explore it through. jayfeather and alderheart are similar, but not in the same way. anyway i'm rambling because these are all the things i thought about when writing stolag, back on topic.

so i don't think cinderpelt should have her disability poofed by starclan, i think she should keep it. i also think that cats who are injured and then aren't disabiled in starclan should be representitve of that. they should be the age before they got injured.

briarlight should be apprentice aged, a hypo-cinderpelt should also be apprentice aged. this is something i'm fine with. i make hollyleaf apprentice aged in starclan because i think she was happiest before the ending of po3.

moving on: snowkit? can apparently hear? wtf?

and y'all already know how much i hate that jayfeather can see in his dreams. i said No that's Not Canon anymore and no one (no one) can stop me.

in conclusion: starclan is bad in a lot of ways, and if it weren't so damn inconsistently bad, i think i wouldn't hate it half as much.

<3

[aminiatureworld]

HI! Quick note: write this whenever you want and be sure to take care of your health first! Your works are amazing and masterpieces take time, I can be patient <3 Hope you have a lovely day! (also, 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: trigger themes like attempts of suicide, probable hints to dissociative amnesia? I was inspired by it at least and some... Limb being bitten off as well as latest archon quest spoilers so readers be cautious!)

Anyway, I'd like to request for Xiao, Albedo, Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc (if the number is too much you can cut off whoever from the list) with Traveller! s/o that like has no memory of their past but have clues through these... "Visions/Dreams".

It started out a little simple; every once in a while, Y/N would see these little figures floating around their environment. Shadowy wisps, sometimes ghosts talking to them. But in real life, people can't see them and only sees them talking by themselves (and some are a little weirded out). But then one day, while they were out adventuring in the ruins slimes or seelies... Whatever small cute creatures can exist in Teyvat suddenly gathered in Stormterror's lair and they grew curious cuz they heard... Music? Playing? It was echo-y and creepy but then they heard a very familiar tune that they KNOW is linked to their past so they followed and went into the vicinity

(As reference, or for some idea: https://youtu.be/JZ6buLNIgs8)

The moment they stepped inside and pinpointed where the music is coming from they bolted up the stairs (if there are any, which probs not but in reader's case there is) and suddenly the stairs lead them to a hallway from a tower/palace, and walking further, there were two huge doors that lead to a ballroom with more than dozens of ghosts waltzing and singing with the music

(No they did not question why would stormterror's lair have a hallway or how it even has a ballroom inside, nor why creatures would gather in said lair. Questions that break away from dreams are nonexistent)

So obviously they were happy at the wondrous sight and began waltzing along with everyone from strangers to... Unrecognizable but familiar faces? Until They danced with this boy their age. The more they looked the more they were enamored and the world around them was but a hazy dream (as vague and hazy the environment in their head can get) but the boy became more and more vivid and so did the music until they practically sang together. But then as the music stopped and s/o turned their back for a second; the boy sang: "And a song someone sings..." And wisps suddenly flew out of him and towards Reader, making them fall unconscious into their arms as the Prince of the Abyss sang in their ear. "Once upon a december..." Before Aether disappeared and he was but a dream.

And then all of a sudden Reader was yanked away from their dream; almost literally. They turned to see their lover holding onto their arm with concern all over their face and explained to them they were so close to the edge dancing away they could've fallen off of the third floor (which was already high!).

And that's when things get a turn to the worse.

Every dream gets worse than the last; anything that involved the abyss, or seeing these star pendants like what Paimon has on her hair or Kaeya's little decor on his clothes or involving Khaenriah or whatever Albedo's research is rn lure them into a dream vivid than the last and it gets even harder and harder to break them off their dreams. One night of going to bed they suddenly had a dream of their old family/friends swimming in the ocean and telling them to join them, and they wouldve if their lover didnt sweep them off their feet and broke away from another dream they didnt realize was 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 a dream. And the realization that if they jumped off, their bones wouldve broken cuz a bunch of boulders and rocks on a steep cliff would make a nice floor for landing right?

But still, Aether and the abyss (which in their dreams were ghosts and just... this blond guy you knew but never realized it was your brother and the abyss) are recurring themes. Coming across any of the factors instantly puts them in a dream and reader cant tell whats reality and what isnt. Everything is too vivid they didnt see a bubble coming their way or an attack coming towards them and they were about to be thrown off. It got to the point Reader was getting claustrophic from the rooms suddenly shrinking as they were cornered by these ghosts that turned frightening and whenever they fight back they end up nearly murdering someone of mindlessly attempting to destroy one of The Seven statues.

It lead Reader to be.. Kinda suicidal. Not just because they hate themselves and their situation its cuz its the 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑦 they knew how to escape the dream and wake up in a bed in their lovers arms. And because reader cant distinguish reality from dreams sometimes even if their lover is present they see these ghosts and think 'this must be a dream I have to wake up from!' cuz in the long run theyve learned fighting back meant hurting someone so they.. Redirected the pain to themselves so theyre very confused to see their lover throw their dagger across the room and they end up breaking down no matter where they are (or in worse cases in the middle of battle). Reader grew dependant on them and panic attacks after these dreams became more frequent until they cant even trust their surroundings whether its a dream or not.

(I'm very sorry with how long this is and I rambled in grotesque detail you may polish it however you want :"DD)

This can be in any format you'd like! But I mostly prefer headcanons + scenarios? like the bullets then comes scenario etc. But ye write however you want sorry for rambling hope you have a nice day thank you

As a Romanov history enthusiast this request was both very interesting and very difficult. Mostly because I found myself veering off into “lore dumping” for lack of a better term. Still I hope the general feeling of your request was captured well.

I spread various aspects of your request around as best I could, depending on character, outline, fic structure, etc. The only thing I didn’t keep in was the suicidal ideation. This is for various reasons, some personal, but in a more general term I think that it can be very difficult to portray something like that in a way that isn’t excessively triggering and is worthwhile to read for a variety of people. The way one person would process through such emotions and put them to paper could be harmful to another. Overall I thought it best to steer clear from such a topic, with the knowledge that I didn’t find it necessary to the story and thought it would be an imperfect addition on my part. Not that I find never addressing such topics necessarily the right path either, only I think that in this case better not to. I hope I explained why adequately. 

I know that wanting to read and write about such topics does not directly correlate to being in such a mental state but I do hope you also take care of your own mental health. Though getting out of such crises can be difficult I want to tell you this at least. You aren’t alone in feeling this way, even if others in your direct vicinity cannot understand. And also sometimes finding a direct reason for continuing on comes later. Sometimes surviving is enough. And even if you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, that doesn’t mean you should take a step which you will never be able to reverse, the only step you will never be able to reverse in your existence.

I also leaned into the Romanov family dynamic, rather into that of the traveler siblings. Whether the reader is the traveler is kept vague on purpose, as I generally as a rule don’t write the siblings. I also found that in keeping them specifically canon compliant to the traveler siblings I’d have to cut back on the more historical illusions. Being a total history nerd I chose the latter option. 

Otherwise my fics varied in complete accuracy to the prompt, though I hope you find it enjoyable to read nonetheless.

Here they are in order of Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, and Zhongli. I hope you find them a worthwhile read and thank you for your request. I hope you have a lovely week.

[multiocblog]

Greetings~! Welcome to my blog!

Just a little introduction, and some rules along with it~! ^^

Hello~! My name is Brianna but you may call me Bree~ I like to write stories, and create my own characters and such- It's what makes me happy~! And I love when I get to act like my OCs and interact with people! So, I created this blog~! (Sorry this post is quite long so be ready to read-)

To start out this blog, I have 7 OCs I will be making introductions for, so you can find out some about them, and interact with asks!

I have 2 OCs from Black Butler, 3 OCs from Diabolik Lovers, and 2 OCs from My Hero Academia! (I have many many more OCs soon to be added to this blog once I get consistent and completely settled in!)

Theres a brief intro to each at the bottom of the page!

((I write better than what I did there I swear-))

In the meantime, here are the

Rules:

No NSFW asks PLEASE! They make me very uncomfortable, and any asks I think might be dirty in any way, I will not answer.

Please make sure you put the OCs name in parenthesis or brackets so I am aware of which OC you are talking too! Ex." [To Arabella] I love your outfit! "

Please be kind! I will not accept hate comments or anything of the sort towards a subject, opinion, or an OC!

PLEASE "tag" or label accordingly to anything, slightly, definitely, or mildly triggering, even if you're not sure! I just want to make sure that everyone can scroll through my blog without having to be weary! Ex. [TW death]

Please do not flood the askbox or get mad that I don't answer right away! I can't always be online for I have a life to live outside of social media. This is purely for fun! ^^

Please no asks about r*ape, inc*st, pe*dophilia, or anything of the sort! Talk of those subjects will not be tolerated on this blog!

I am the admin to this account, therefore, I am allowed to reject or ignore ANY ask if need be.

((Rules will be updated, should the need arise.))

Bye for now~!

((OC info under read more!!))

Kyoko Komori (DL) ((OC based off the anime. Though I've heard plenty about the games, I have not yet played them, so if I get some things wrong I apologize in advance.))With Kyoko everything is the same. Yui has Cordelias heart and such and was supposed to be sent to the brothers. However, in this universe, Yui has an older sister, one year apart, whom has also been adopted, except she knows it. When she overhears something about her younger sister, her only sister, being sent away to vampires, she decides to take her place. To protect her.

Alyssa Freeman (MHA) ((I have not watched the entirety of MHA yet, and really I don't plan too anytime soon. So if I get anything wrong please correct me, and spoilers to the anime for me are welcomed. Let's just act like I've seen it all-)) Alyssa hates villains. And heros for that matter. All of them. When her apartment was destroyed from a casualty in a battle, Alyassa labeled heros as reckless and careless of the people around them. Herself and her little brother where heading back to the apartment, when she saw it crumbling down. Her parents and grandparents still inside, along with her best friend who was going to surprise Alyssa with a visit. Now she lives on the streets, doing whatever she can to provide for herself and her little brother.

Ongaku Yamada Aizawa (MHA) ((Again, haven't seen it, let's just pretend I have. Also this OC is in result of a ship. I don't really ship it, but I thought both their powers together would be cool so I thought, why not?)) When Ongaku was young, she was always bullied in 1st and 2nd grade for having two dads. One time, she got in trouble for heavily injuring a student with her voice quirk. You can insult her all you want, but not her dads. So, in 3rd grade, she kept a lie she created, that she only has one dad, Erasure Head Shota Aizawa, and that her mother died when she was born. Turns out the lie worked pretty well, people loved her and she was seen as an icon for having a prohero as a father. Shes was usually a quiet person, kept to herself, no friends, only spoke when spoken too. It was just her, her drawings and her music in her headphones. To this day, she keeps the lie, and keeps her distance, even at her new school, in U.A. (She also develops a major crush on Tenya Iida while there.👀)

Lilly and Lila Sakamaki (DL) ((Just thought I'd make one description for both bc they're twin sisters. This is also result of a ship. Ayato x Yui.)) Lilly and Lila are polar opposites despite their similar looks. Lila loves the cutesy, pink, flower stuff, and Lilly is all "tough" and "all that" (When shes really insecure-) Lilly is extremely protective over her sister, and possive too. She doesn't let any man even glance in her general direction. Basically if a man wants to ask Lila out, hes gonna have to go through some interrogation. Lila loves her sister deeply, and is basically like her sisters personal therapist. Lilly will only vent and show emotion around Lila. Lila tries to get her sister Lilly into pink, but with no prevail. Typically, you'll find Lilly hanging out with "Uncle Reiji", for she has a secret interest in his experiments and such. She'll also cuddle with Uncle Shu whenever she has time. And Lila loves hanging out with Uncle Kanato and Uncle Laito. She'll have tea partys with Kanato all the time. Lilly always tries to get Lila away from Laito. She says he's "demented" and "weird". But, Lila doesn't listen and hangs out with him anyway. Laito and Kanatos typical nickname for Lila is, Lilac or Little Flower. Both twins are vampires. Yui always teaches them about God and how to be selfless and kind, while Ayato plays sports with Lilly and cute video games (like Animal Crossing) with Lila.

Arabella Phantomhive (BB) ((This OC is placed in the future, and based off a ship, Ciel X Lizzy. Please be aware that, even though my OC speaks multiple languages, I do NOT. So, as bad as it sounds, I'll probably use Google Translate if I must use another language-😅 ) When Ciel and Lizzy are older and married, they have a little girl. Half human. Half demon. Arabella was taught how to be a lady, ballet, and sword fighting by her mother. And she was taught chess, ballroom dancing and more sword fighting by her father. Instead of going to a school, little Ara was homeschooled, by Sebastian, the Phantomhive Butler. He taught her multiple languages, such as Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and her personal favorite, French. Time skip to the age of 10, she saw her mother murdered before her, and her father taken by some strange light beings. Having been raised by Sebastian since then, now she's 17, running the Funtom company, and determined to avenge her mother and find her father. :)

Robert Trancy (BB) ((This OC correlates with the Arabella OC, and is in the same storyline.)) Robert J. Trancy was his sweet Arabellas betrothed since birth. Even though it is set to be an arranged marriage, Robert always had a crush on his Arabella, and was awaiting the day to marry his beloved. Robert is a sensitive and kind boy, but sarcastic and joking all the same having been raised by Alois Trancy. He has no idea of whom his mother is, and was always told she died when he was born. At the age of 6, it was at a party when he saw his father dead on the floor of the long corridor. He didn't exactly see his fathers death, but he heard it, and knew exactly who did it. Ciel Phantomhive. He was determined to make his revenge. Having made a contract with Claude, his fathers old butler, he now lives alone in the manor, sending all the old servants away, except Claude. He makes frequent visits to his sweet Blue Rose however. He's a very insecure boy, full of anger, bitterness, jealousy, and sadness, but hides it well behind humor and love for his bride-to-be.

That was very long- and for that I apologize-

[soartfullydone]

Well, well. If it isn't the little mouse come to rummage around once more in my things. Oh, no please. Don't get up. I'd love to see what is of such interest to you on my desk. Last I checked, it was a mountain of requisitions from Urban Development. Do close your mouth, pet. You could give give some men the wrong idea. Hm? Why so surprised? Did you really think I would be unaware of the comings and goings in my own office?

ahaaaaa bite me cassie

*

Rufus Shinra’s office wasn’t as obnoxious as his father’s, but an air of pretentiousness lingered all the same. Melody felt that way about most executive offices. It seemed like anyone in Shinra who breached past the managerial level acquired a new suite big enough to fit their ego inside, the size of the space in direct correlation with the amount of money most of them didn’t deserve to make.

Namely because they weren’t in said office working often enough. With higher-ups, it was always arriving late and two-hour lunches and leaving early. Melody didn’t know what was stronger: her lack of surprise or her disappointment that Rufus appeared to be cut from the same cloth.

As Mayor Domino promised, Shinra’s heir apparent was absent, and this, too, gave her conflicting feelings. Relief. Frustration. However, her disgust was aimed entirely at herself.

Just get this over with.

Walking on the balls of her feet to minimize the clacking sound of her heels, Melody darted across the room, feeling immediately off-kilter.

She couldn’t remember ever seeing so much white. The tiled floors, the seamless stretch of wall, even the great expanse of his steel desk—the room was an uninterrupted blanket of white. The company’s usual selection of marble had been completely rejected for this room, for even the whitest marble displayed veins of black and gray. There were no deliberately placed accents, no splashes of color save for the odd item on Rufus’ desk. A black fountainpen. A silver paperweight shaped almost as perfectly as materia. A discarded, canary yellow paperclip. Then, there were the stacks of papers—Melody recognized the cover page on one stack instantly—the three computer monitors, the leather chair pushed into the desk, all of them white.

It was this chair Melody slid into, attempting to ignore how unnerved it all made her. There was nothing personal. No paintings on the wall, no shrubs in the corner, no pictures of family or friends. There was an entire wall that was a window, which displayed Sector 8 through Sector 2 in dazzling silver as sunlight beat down on steel and stone. Thank God. This was a room one could go insane in without such a view. She had never seen a space that was so clearly used be so cold and clinical at the same time; hospitals had more life.

It’s possible our dear Prince Shinra will be a little more careless on his own turf. Most employees are that arrogant, Mayor Domino had said wryly.

What am I looking for? she’d asked.

Anything.

Melody didn’t have much time. She’d originally guessed she’d linger no more than five minutes, but Domino’s warnings—not to mention her past experiences with Rufus—had scared her down to three. She tried the desk drawers first, only to find them all locked. The one that wasn’t held nothing but a keyboard, and a quick inspection failed to uncover any poorly-hidden notes containing computer passwords or other intriguing information. The computer was locked, too, and a quick keystroke put it back into sleep mode. Her hands flew across the papers on the desk, thumbing through them rapidly.

New recruit considerations for the Department of Public Safety, most of them unfavorable. Performance analytics for weapons prototypes from Scarlet’s department. Melody’s eyes snagged on the schematics and armaments list for a mechanical monstrosity labeled “Project Airbuster” before she was forced to continue on. She reached to move aside the one handful of papers containing information she already knew when, inexplicably, the hair on the back of her neck stood up.

“Well, well,” Rufus Shinra said, his lips ghosting the shell of her ear as a strand of his blond hair brushed her cheek. “If it isn't the little mouse come to rummage around once more in my things.”

Melody twisted around—or tried to. The Vice President had other ideas, his hands gripping both sides of the chair and holding it steady, his body an uncompromising wall. She was locked in and going nowhere.

“Oh, no, please. Don’t get up.” Rufus smirked, his tone polite and mocking at the same time. He knew he had her caught. As if to boast this knowledge, he shifted just enough so he could lean over her left shoulder and cage her in further as he pretended to examine the spread of documents. “I’d love to see what is of such interest to you on my desk. Last I checked, it was a mountain of requisitions from Urban Development.”

With a smooth sweep of his hand, he gathered that very mountain she’d messily dropped in her shock at hearing him—feeling him—just behind her. He straightened the papers and feathered through them, the pages skipping across his thumb. “A scintillating read, I’m sure, but...” His sidelong gaze caught hers before it dipped, skimming down her neck, tracing her clavicle, caressing the swell of her breasts. Finishing his lazy inspection, his crystal blue eyes found hers again, searing this time. “Rather than suffer more of Tuesti’s thinly-veiled pleas for financial backing, I’d rather find you waiting for me here, on my desk—but not today.”

Melody had an iron-clad defense ready, but her lips parted in surprise, a blush spreading across her face at how casually Rufus could talk about fucking her. At how intimately she remembered what his cruel mouth could do to her flesh, how quickly his skillful fingers could make her come. She hated how easily he could fluster her by merely mentioning it. She hated how he could dangle the possibility in front of her only to yank it back without any true regret at all.

And most of all, she hated how badly she wanted it—wanted him—anyway.

Rufus regarded her with half-lidded eyes before leaning closer, setting off a new wave of panic and eagerness within her. Was he actually, finally going to kiss her? Was she finally going to discover what he tasted like? He tilted up her chin, and Melody’s knuckles turned white from squeezing the chair’s armrests. His lips were a breath away from hers when he chided, “Do close your mouth, pet. You could give some men the wrong idea.”

He released her with a flick of his fingers and straightened, his focus returning to the desk with a more worrisome air of assessment. At least, Melody should have been worried, should have been busy double-checking that she had put every document back in the exact spot she had first found it. Instead, she was leaning back in the chair, dazed and barely holding onto herself inside her own skin. Little mouse. Pet. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to know how creative he could get with names for her. Gratefulness that she had avoided reaching some point of no return with him again warred with the urge to see how far she could push him until he took what he wanted.

Instead, she steered her resolve toward the plan and managed, “I didn’t mean to bother you, sir. I— I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Hm? Why so surprised?” replied Rufus coolly. He was frowning suddenly at the assessment report from Weapons Development. “Did you really think I would be unaware of the comings and goings in my own office?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what,” he said, his voice and eyes frozen as he turned to advance on her, “are you doing here?”

Melody stood so quickly that she pushed the chair free and clear from her. She meant for her hands to raise in a placating gesture, but they became the barrier against Rufus’ chest to halt him from coming closer. (Not that they could truly stop him. Not that some part of her wanted to cling to the lapels of his jacket and pull him flush against her, imploring him to take, take, take.)

“The proposal!” she exclaimed, her thoughts scattered. “In your hand.”

A crease appeared between his blond brows, doubtful and contemplative at once. “What about it, Miss Westfire?”

Her stomach flipped with a thrill at his put-on formality. She loved how he humored her, but God, how she hated him for how he played with her. “A team member of mine thinks she included a page from another report in there by accident. She was freaking out, so I offered to get it back.” She looked down at the Urban Development proposal, concern flitting across her face. “Assuming you haven’t already trashed it.”

“I haven’t looked over it at all.”

Melody ignored that dig. She crossed her arms, feigning calm as Rufus flipped through the pages much slower and more thoroughly this time.

“Is this what you’re after?” Rufus pulled a page free, and a glance at its surface showed a half-formed spreadsheet, its cells missing numbers, with notes penned in flowing cursive across the bottom of the paper. It also lacked the distinctive formatting that the proposal was required to have and clearly displayed on its other pages.

Melody sighed, relieved. Even though she’d planted the page herself, a part of her had believed wildly that it had somehow vanished. “Yes. Thank you. She’ll be so glad.”

She went to take the page, but Rufus wouldn’t relinquish it. He asked, “Which team member lost this again?”

Her smile thinned. “I didn’t say.”

“Then say, Miss Westfire.”

“I would prefer—”

“I don’t care what you would prefer. Imagine if this held trade secrets, SOLDIER patrol routes, blueprints of our reactors. Now imagine if this information fell into the hands of Avalanche.” Rufus pulled, and the page ripped in an uneven half between their hands. Crumpling his half, Rufus tossed it on the desk, the completed proposal landing with a thump beside it. “Our company—my company—can’t afford this kind of carelessness. Tell me who it was.”

“So you can do what?” She let her half flutter to the floor, her heart pounding in her chest.

“I would think that was obvious,” Rufus said, dragging his chair back. He sat facing her, elbows braced on the armrests and his fingers laced together. “I’m going to fire her.”

Blood rushed in her ears. No, no, no. No. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

Seeing her indecision, Rufus smiled and leaned forward. “Tell me, Melody. Tell me now, or the one I’ll be making an example of will be you.”

Her fists clenched at her sides. If she bit down any harder, she thought she might shatter her teeth. Rufus’ eyes glittered before he shrugged, unconcerned. “Pity. In that case—”

“Rainy,” Melody bit out. “It was Celeste Rainy.”

Rufus’ smile sharpened. “Good girl.”  

“Want me to send her up, too, while I’m at it?” she snapped, enraged at him. Enraged at herself.

“Oh, no. I don’t mind handling all the unpleasantness for you. You’ve done enough.”

Yes. Yes, Melody had, and she had nothing to show for it except getting a faithful, hard-working employee fired over her lies and schemes. Sick to her stomach, she went to leave, uncaring that the Vice President hadn’t dismissed her yet.

He caught her with an arm around her middle; he didn’t even have to rise from the chair to do so, but he did anyway. “Now, I can’t let you go with you looking this upset. What about your reward?”

“I have a lot of work to do.” She refused to meet his eyes. If she did, he would know exactly how much she despised him. More than likely, it would make him happy, and the last thing on Gaia she wanted was Rufus Shinra’s happiness.

“Work, she says.” The tips of his fingers traced the line of her neck. “Everything you do… In the end, it’s all for me.”

She went to protest, incensed, but his hand tightened around her and drew her into him. She felt his leather, fingerless glove press into the nape of her neck, his thumb caressing her racing pulse. Racing because his mouth was lavishing cruel ministrations to the column of her throat, his kiss hot, his mouth sucking hard enough to leave marks on her skin. She gasped as he rose higher and higher, his teeth scraping the underside of her jaw. Each kiss was a new way to claim her, and she was helpless against any of them.

At some point, her knees had buckled. Rufus’ arm was around her waist, pinning her against his chest. One of his legs was in between both of hers, and she moaned, the heat of his thigh driving her temporarily insane. Melody rolled her hips, wanting that delicious friction. Rufus bit her earlobe sharply.

“I said, not today.”

He let her go, removing himself enough that she was forced to get her legs under her. They felt shaky, but she managed. Her hand rose to inspect her neck, which felt utterly ravaged, and it was enough to bring a hint of sanity back. “You call this a reward?”

“You’re never satisfied,” Rufus noted, smiling as if he was satisfied. “That must be why we get along so well.”

He strode to the door of his office, expecting her to follow, which she naturally did. It was her only escape route. She frowned when he opened it for her like a gentleman. “That wasn’t your reward. I’m still debating what it is you deserve.”

Those words caused butterflies to flutter and a chilling dread to settle in her stomach all at once. When she was level with him, she asked archly, “What was it then, besides unwanted?”

Rufus traced her lips with his thumb, felt her shudder before she could stop it. “Don’t lie now.”

He leaned down, so they were looking nearly eye to eye, icy assurance versus burning resolve. “It was a warning, my dear. You’re good at this game, better than most, but you’ll never be able to play it like I can.” His smirk was sharp and prideful. “Next time you want to play spy with me, take greater care with your pawns.”