#anyway amazing writer i feel things when i look at her account

[totebagbisexual]

@chloeinletters on instagram

[https-immotmari]

❝ Crush na crush na crush kita! ❞ ─── pjsk boys!

WRITER'S START IN BEING DELULU!

Just from the title, y'all should have a thought of where I come from lmao ＜（＾－＾）＞! Anyways, third request came in and I hope you don't mind the reader's gender being neutral, thank you!~

fandom! .project sekai character(s) used! .akito shinonome, toya aoyagi, tsukasa tenma and rui kamishiro gender of reader! .gn!reader however, implied fem!reader implied in toya's and tsukasa's sections head start! .reader, in both akito's and toya's, is a senior, reader in toya's section is tsukasa's older (by one minute) twin sibling, light angst in toya's section, rui's reader is a foregnier and doesn't understand nor speak japanese very well however, they can understand english

. . .akito shinonome!

❝ Di mo ba nadarama? (Don't you feel?) ❞

what in the H E double hockey sticks is he feeling?!

he doesn't know why his heart goes crazy just the mere sight of you he doesn't know why he suddenly stutters his words when talking to you, he just doesn't understand why his mind wants to see you every day.

well, to everyone, it's no surprised you've captured the hearts of majority of the student population in kamiyama high. you're literally the IT girl/boy/person of kamiyama and you aren't even aware of it.

you're even a great senior! he met you through toya, who was trying to find tsukasa since he wanted to confirm something and they found him talking to you, and he was instantly whipped! though, he denies it.

toya lightly teases him that he acts like a mess when you're around him and akito just barks back with lies, just to save his pride.

"I'm telling the truth, toya. I don't act weird whenever (last name)-san is around." akito denied his best friend's, toya, accusation. him? having a crush on the school's heartthrob? that's stupid. he would never-

"excuse me?" akito suddenly froze on the spot as toya twirled his head only to see you carrying a bunch of test papers. "oh? toya? and uhm.." you squinted your eyes, trying to recall the name of the frozen ginger beside toya, "oh right! akito, right? you're ena's cute little brother, hm?" you tilt your head forward a bit, smiling in his way.

in the end, toya had the last laugh as he watches his best friend being completely different around their senior, "I told you so." as akito clutches his chest, where his heart is at.

just innocently dropping hints to toya that he 'needs' help with a difficult math problem, that's probably a year above them level, and that he needs a reliable and amazing senior to help him.

he ends up having tsukasa and sometimes rui, it's rare having you to 'help' him since you're quite busy as well.

but, that doesn't stop him! he often has toya delivers his little gifts, after a long time convincing toya that it was his older sister's, ena, request to deliver 'her' gifts, to your desk when you're not around, some students may have thought that toya has a crush on you.

his little gifts consist of key chains of (favorite things), sometimes flowers and pins with your favorite series/anime/manga/etc.

how he knew this? he actually got information from one of ena's conversation with you and your post from your social medias, in which he secretly hearts everything on an alternative account.

he turns into a lovesick puppy the moment you walk in, if he were a puppy, his tail would be going crazy all the while his face would be a hot mess.

during the sport event, you were one of the mc's and it made akito's motivation in winning increased TO THE MAX!

he was running faster than ever, even ena was suprised to see her little brother like that, poor tsukasa who was on his back, tsukasa was holding onto akito's shoulders for dear life.

"shinonome-san is running as fast as ever! it seems like he's eager to win, don'tcha think, partner?" the other mc look at you, waiting for your commentary.

you chuckled, smiling as you watch the intense match between your juniors, mizuki and akito. "I couldn't agree more, partner! even poor tenma-san is holding on for dear life~" both you and your partner snickered.

after he won that match, he was congratulated by you over the mic and no one can image the furious blush appearing on his cheeks, like, YOU, out of all people, were to congratulate him first before toya can?????

he was on cloud nine that even toya had a difficult time in getting him back to his senses till they were in their band practice, an hand to shake him back to life.

he denies this for a long time but, on valentine's day, instead of the classic chocolates and flower, he actually got you special and that he's proud of but, never admit it was him.

he got the valentine's day special chocolate pancake with (favorite fruit) on the side from the place where he usually buys his pancakes, he bought it using his hard-earned money. he also made oragami flowers, bouquet of flowers actually, the flowers being all of your favorite kinds. he actually spent a lot of time and dedication on the oragami flowers and learned them from a lot of youtube videos.

of course, he remained anonymously.

out all the gifts you've received that day, his gift stand out the most due to his effort in making it perfect. you gushed about it to your friends and one of them was ena. she had a gut feeling that it was her little brother, akito, but never got confirmation.

he doesn't know why his heart goes crazy just the mere sight of you, he doesn't know why he suddenly stutters his words when talking to you, he just doesn't understand why his mind wants to see you everyday. Don't you feel it?

. . .toya aoyagi!

❝ Crush mo rin kaya ako? (Do you have a crush on me too?) ❞

you're actually tsukasa's older, by one-minute, twin sibling so, he's known you very well.

though, he wasn't able to have a lot of conversation with you back then since you were more focused on your youngest sibling's, saki, health and was always in the hospital, in which he couldn't go, fearing that it upset his father.

despite not often having to chat with you, toya can see you as the loving and caring older tenma sibling, within the three tenma siblings, you're the matured and calm one, one of the reasons why toya and you got along pretty well.

him crushing on you came when you caught him tearing up a bit after an argument he had with his father, he was a little kid at the time, and instead of degrading him for crying, you sat beside him and comforted him, whispering nothing but sweet things to him as he cried in your shoulder. you comforted him like how you comforted tsukasa whenever he has his episode due to him thinking he wasn't a great enough brother for saki.

after comforting him, you gave him a small smile and encouraged him to go after what he loves the most, and at that moment, the thing, or person, he loves the most at the moment, till now, is you. he just doesn't realize it till his unitmates told him he was, in fact, has a crush on you.

he felt the warm and loving aura coming out of you that you always give to your family, especially to your younger siblings. something he had craved from his father ever since he was born and yet he never received.

after that day, this little kid was always following you around like a little duckling, except in the hospital, in which you find it to be amusing and adorable since you've ever known toya to be the quiet yet blunt stoic kid and seeing him following you around whenever him and you are inside your house.

toya, at the time, didn't know why his cheeks felt warm and his heart going slightly faster than before whenever he encounters you. it makes him space out sometimes.

one time, he made a claw machine empty because he wanted to give you plushies like he gives to saki, through tsukasa, as well! you were surprised to see a lot of stuff toys in your room when you got back home from the hospital.

it made your face brighten up and as a thank you, you gave toya one of your beloved books in which you cherished the most so, image the shock expression he had once tsukasa told him that it was one of your cherished books you held dearly, and you gave it to HIM??

upon knowing that fact, the book you gave to him now has its very own section in his bedroom shelf, it even has its own clear protection case to keep the dust away if he's not reading it at the moment.

nobody is allowed to touch the book besides him and you.

now that you two, alongside tsukasa and saki, have grown into teenagers, you two have more screen time with each other now that saki is finally out of the hospital!

since you and tsukasa are the same age, meaning when toya was a freshman in kamiyama, you were a senior at miyamasuzaka, the same all-girls school saki is in.

despite being in different schools, you two interacted a lot! especially when all four of you hangout after school!

his feelings for you were rather obvious, at least to tsukasa and saki, he was so different from his quiet and stoic self.

whenever you're around, he smiles more often all the while talking to you, toya can't help it! you're just a beautiful scenery, it's a crime to not admire you. saki even called him out-

"(n/n) sure does look beautiful, right, toya-kun?" saki innocently teased the blue haired individual, who was admiring her older sibling as they baked a bunch of cookies for the four of them.

toya immediately snapped out of his daydreaming upon being called out, "o-oh.. yes, of course they are." he shyly nodded, feeling his cheeks warming up. saki simply chuckles, knowing damn well that she'll be the matchmaker alongside her older brother.

when vivid bad squad was formed, he immediately rushed to you and told you about it, you smiled at him, he was finally doing what he wanted and not what his father wanted, and you were proud of him.

whenever he's at band practice, he often unconsciously rambles about you to his bandmates, an and akito teases him about it, telling him that they didn't know toya has a crush.

that's when he furrows his brows, crush?

due to his oblivious self, an and akito, mostly an, explained to him that he has a crush on you, and he was like "oh...oh!"

now with this newfound information, he felt even more nervous around you, sometimes stuttering his words as if he's malfunctioning robot.

his heart just goes crazy and with the way you acted around him these couple of years, thanks to an explaining how most women acted when they have a crush on you, he wonders if you also have a crush on him too?

. . .tsukasa tenma!

❝ Cross my heart, P.S. I love you ❞

he met you first in phoenix wonderland, you were a guest invited by one of your friends.

he, alongside his troupe members, was greeting the guests ever-so loudly and cheerfully and when his orange-yellow eyes set on you, his world just stopped right there and then.

your (h/c) was shining, complimenting your sparkling eyes and dazzling sweet smile, he felt his heart was racing, racing fast.

he was so stunned that when you and your friends came up to him and his troupe members, he was fumbling with his words all the while his troupe members cheerfully, mostly emu, greeted you and your friends. tsukasa's eyes were mostly on you, though he did try to act normal and tried to look at your friends as well but, his eyes kept glancing over you.

rui, who noticed this, teased him after you and your friends went away. tsukasa denied it, saying you look 'familiar' to him though, rui didn't seem convinced.

over the time your there, his eyes were trying to find you again, wanting to see if he was daydreaming that time but yet every time he sees you, he malfunctions again.

on the other hand, you caught him spying you from afar and whenever he quickly hides, you find it amusing.

he didn't know why he wanted to find out more about you, though you were a random guest, you can be EVERYWHERE!

but, I guess lady luck blessed him after a couple of weeks, he was in front of saki's school, miyamasuzaka, and while waiting, he saw you again! alongside your friends.

his eyes went wide, and my dude just stood there like 🧍‍♂️

once he and saki were back at home, he immediately bombarded her with a lot of questions about you.

"hey, saki, do you perhaps know somebody in your school with (h/c) hair and (uniform style/details about your uniform)?"

"oh, well there a lot of people with (h/c) hair in my school but, with the way you describe certain details uniform, I think you're referring to (last name)-san!"

that's where he learned about you as he watched saki talking about you gleefully, you were an assistant and close friend to the MORE MORE JUMP! members, no wonder why saki seems happier to talk about you to her older brother.

and no wonder he recognized you, he once saw you in shizuku's social media, in which he follows since they are good acquaintance with each other.

he thought about messaging you since shizuku tagged you in that one post. he wanted to formally apologize for weirding you out on that day.

and that's how you basically meet the blonde weirdo yet cutie from the theme park you visited a few weeks ago again. he firstly messaged you by introducing himself before apologizing for his behavior a couple of weeks ago, you honestly find it amusing and adorable. you two chatted with each other all day, and then the next day, and the next day-

after that, he invited you to hangout after school whenever your free, sometimes he brings along saki and toya, since you two bonded within the private messages you two have been sending each other.

honestly, he hasn't moved on from your first encounter, he still acts like a silly idiot around you. tsukasa doesn't even know why like, you're like everyone else, average yet has a certain charm around you making tsukasa even more invested into you.

whenever he's around you, he feels like very different that has him questioning himself about it. like, why does he feel funny around you but not to others? why does he feel the urge to impress you more with his charms and talents? why does he stutter his words out like a fool whenever it's you? WHY DOES HIS HEART YEARNS FOR YOU?!

I feel like he's seen a various of romance theaters, movies, dramas, etc (thanks to saki) so, he caught up with what's happening to him, it went like this;

"I'm in love..." the blonde muttered, finally knowing the reasons why he's acting differently to a certain someone. he had finally solved the mystery of his strange behavior whenever you're around!

"I'M IN LOVE- HAHHHHHHHHHH?!" tsukasa immediately stops himself upon seeing in the corner of his eyes, his troupe members all can be seen in the doorway, spying on their leader while rui was recording it with his signature smug cat-like smile plastered on his face.

in the end, let's just say rui, maybe emu and nene, got their blackmail for tsukasa.

he was quite shy at first but, he warms up since in his thoughts, he NEEDS to impress his crush, aka you, because the only way your crush is gonna notice you and wants to talk to you is to impress them! (tsukasa's words, not mine)

expects him to be a very, very, VERY gentleman towards you such as carrying your things, bringing you little snacks, escorting you to your house to your school along with saki, and many more that I can't possibly list down.

when he heard you were a fan of phenny-kun, he just has to impress you with his voice imitation of phenny-kun, he just had to. I mean, it IS his job, alongside his troupe members, to make people smile. his day brightens up whenever you enjoy his imitation of phenny-kun! doesn't he love you too much?

he probably made a play dedicated to you and have scenarios where you, the main character, and he as the love interest, he's too busy daydreaming he didn't notice that one of rui's inventions is coming straight to him-

he became a simp, your simp to be exact.

doesn't he love you so much? Cross his heart, he'll love you wholeheartedly that's for sure!

. . .rui kamishiro!

❝ 'Di ko alam ang nangyayari (I don't know what's happening) ❞

he honestly didn't expect himself to be having a crush on somebody, especially when his crush is oblivious foreigner such as yourself.

you were the infamous transfer student he had heard about from the juniors; it was quite obvious due to your appearance alone, so you stick out like a sore thumb. if that wasn't bad enough, you also had a hard time understanding and speaking their language. you usually kept quiet as you feared that you might sound like an idiot when speaking japanese.

so now, picture this, a transfer student from (country) that has a hard time understanding and speaking japanese in a japanese high school, seated next to the well-known troublemaker of kamiyama high, now surely it won't be chaotic? spoilers, it did.

rui honestly finds you amusing, he would chuckle whenever he would ask for something to you, and you would completely give him another thing instead what he asks for.

it was another day in class in this new high school of yours, if the lectures make your head dizzy because it's difficult in understanding the teachers a bit, the purple head boy next to you makes it more difficult.

"psst.. mind letting me borrow your eraser for a moment?" he whispered to you, not wanting to get caught by the teacher. rui watched as you confusedly scanning your desk, trying to understand what he wanted from you.

'okay, he clearly wanted to borrow something... but, what??' you were thinking a bit too hard that the lecture from the teacher is mentally blocked from your head, now focusing on the given task by your seat mate.

"um.. t..t..this?" you tried pronouncing the said word in japanese but, it only sounded broken a bit, all the while showing rui a sharpener.

and that moment, rui kamishiro knew, he'll be going to enjoy this year.

you being shy reminds him a lot about nene but, in your reason, you were afraid of sounding stupid while speaking his country's language. though, he'll give you the benefit of the doubt since you were learning how to speak the language.

he teases you even though you mostly don't understand all he just said, which amused him more while you were determined to learn about the language more to know what rui is saying to you most of the time.

eventually, it was one of your daily routines to have rui tease you every day, even though you don't understand half of it but, hey! you're at least getting better with your japanese.

and with that, rui and your friendship began to develop as time went by, the purplenette introduced his unitmates to you and you were thankful that they introduced themselves in english. p.s rui rambles about you to them.

sometimes rui say english words to help you understand what he or other people are saying. though, if someone was mocking or insulting you, rui wouldn't even try to tell you what they are saying instead, he just guides you away from them by wrapping one of his arms around your shoulder and distracts you, though you had a gut feeling that the person was saying bad stuffs to you, you pick up some of their words and understand soe.

I think rui having a crush will take a long time since he's more on focusing on his inventions and his performances with his unitmates so, catching his attention in you, romantically, it's going to be a long ride. though, if you did, in which is going to happen, congratulations then.

though, he did start to feel whenever your around as the days goes by, and honestly, dude was confused. I feel like he has no grasp of like love and crushes since he's probably more focus on his works and his unit's performances that he doesn't have the time to think about anything else like love.

so yeah, it took him a long time to solve this difficult equation on why he feels weird whenever you are around/mentioned. he doesn't know what's happening to him.

with that, he went to nene and intentionally drop a topic like "what if somebody feels weird whenever somebody's around them, like something's making your heart beats faster?" and nene just look at him with a blank expression of hers, already knowing what's up with her childhood (best) friend however, she won't say it just for fun.

even with his newfound feelings, he acted the same but, once you come closer to his chest area where his heart is at, you'll hear his heartbeat. his teasing is still the same though he increased it to the max, anything for you<3

within school/lunch breaks, he'll teach you japanese words and how you pronounce them while you teach him english/(native language) words and how you pronounce it. though, that doesn't mean he'll stop teasing you just because him and you are teaching each other different languages, from time to time, he says to you compliments in japanese and when you try to pronounce it, his smug cat-like smile widens even more.

but, he'll only get scolded by you after you search about the phrases back at home, he'll do it again and again even if he's going to get scolded by you and he'll probably get the silent treatment by you<3

although jokes asides, he'll calm you down whenever you're feeling really anxious about speaking japanese, especially in front of the class whenever a teacher calls you out for recitation. he's one good listener and advice giver, so any problems you have, please go to him and he'll make it better, especially for you.

fast forward to summer holidays and school was ending, with all the moments and days you've spent with rui, you finally made a decision, something you'll feel embarrassed about but, hey! rui someone that is dear to you. as rui finished packing

up his things and mostly every one of your classmates were outside now, you approach rui very differently unlike the way you've approached him before this.

"rui.." you muttered out, loud enough for the said person to hear and make his head turn towards you.

"hmm, yes?" his eyes went immediately towards you, seeing a letter in your hands, your gaze shyer than ever, and some sort of red tint in your cheeks.

"I.. uhm.. I.." you stuttered out, trying to find the words you wanted to say to him. rui, noticing it, gives you a pat on the head as a sign of encouragement as what he always did to you whenever you feel nervous/anxious.

eventually, you finally did as what you have planned the day before, "I.. just want-ted.. togiveyouthis..!" you quickly finished yourself, saying it all in japanese, while handing the letter to him before quickly rushing out, leaving rui with a dumbfounded with a letter in his hand.

the mad sciencetist, I mean, the purplenette boy stared at the letter the rest of the time as he walks home, wondering what you wrote in this. though once he had opened and read it, he lets out a smile, not his usual smug cat-like smile but, a genuine and gleeful smile.

with his heart beating crazily as he only thought about what you wrote in that letter, his thoughts filled to the brim with you, he honestly doesn't know what's happening right now.

WRITER'S END IN BEING DELULU!

Apologies for the long wait! school just recently started and this january I'm filled to the brim with projects and performance task ＞︿＜!

and also, I had writer's block with rui's section though special thanks to one of my lomls @liqis-postoffice for the ideas &lt;3

rules! + masterlist!

[scoonsalicious]

OKAY I'M HERE. Sorry, I'm late. Funnily enough, we're on opposite sides of the world so your update time is waaaayyy too early in the morning for me so I usually read it when I wake up (shocking I know, digesting this traumatic but amazing masterpiece early in the morning) but since school has started up again and I have morning classes I haven't been able to. So do expect my reports to be a lil later than usual. ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

Let's start with Steve and Pocket. I totally forgot that both of them were under the influence during that time and while they did get a little frisky (I also find it so funny how Pocket doesn't have much of a reaction. it was all Steve. It was as if she already knew she could never orgasm with this man. like homegirl was dry during that I just know it) I'm glad they didn't go far and were able to actually realize how much of a mistake it would've been because not only for obvious reasons like that's your ex's best friend but also the intoxicated thing. It wouldn't have done any good to Poxket's mental state es; especially knowing Steve's feelings. But hey, he stopped it. Literally the bare minimum for any man but the bar currently in hell (looking at you Benson) so. Good on Steveioli.

Now with the heart-to-heart, I'm so glad Pocket was able to unload all that and actually have a good cry for once. And, for Steve, as much as I still find him kinda fishy (I still do think he has a hand in ruining their relationship, that he isn't as innocent or this knight and shining savior that he's showing. I just know Steve did something and pulled some strings so i don't trust him fully yet), he made some very good points. I do agree with what he said about Bentley. We can only really imagine what he went through with Hydra. And the point too where there are some parts Bison himself doesn't remember at all but his body and psyche do. We can sympathise and everything but we never truly understand it. Do I think Josiah is the only person who understands? I don't think so either. Not to discredit her experience or whatever but I don't think what she went through was entirely the same or close because I still do think she's still a spy got them (maybe that's me not liking her lol). But the fact is, she's the closest person who could understand, in Brennon's eyes anyway. Does that excuse everything he's done? Absolutely fucking not. But does that information change how I judge him? Of course. I still truly believe that there's more to this onion (because layers ha ha) than meets the eye. He still fucking fucked up and he still has so much work to do on himself before he can even have the chance to earn Pocket's trust again. But I can give him some grace, and understand that his mind probably wasn't in the best place at that time which led to bad decisions.

I saw some people claiming that Blair never truly loved Pocket, and while I can see why that seems to be the fact because he does have a shitty way of showing it, sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from hurting the people we love (to an extent obvs. if they cheat & are abusive & toxic etc. leave their ass. but again, in the context of the fic, it's definitely more complicated than that). That's just reality. But what truly matters is what we do after the fact. Not that it makes it okay, I'm not saying that at all. It's still not an excuse to hurt people and be a shitty person. What I mean is that not everything is as black & white as it seems. In this case, there's no such thing as 100% evil and 100% good (except Judas who has a special place in hell). These are flawed, broken, and complicated characters, and you the amazing writer has shown that greatly. So we should all take that into account instead of just saying this person is 100% wrong so he deserves to die, or This person is 100% right so I'm just going to support everything they're doing no matter the consequences even if it hurts other people. So I do think he truly and utterly loves Pocket with everything that he is, but when you've got someone who's out of his time, has so many issues, isn't in the best mental and emotional state, has been through so much trauma and has self-destructive tendencies, do we really think he knows what to do with such a powerful emotion? Better yet, he does love her, but in this case, it's just not enough. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship healthy after all. But I will say, that love will also be the one that will push him to do better.

Now, with Mr. Bunana and his Audacity to barge onto Pocket like that. The hypocrisy is outstanding. Gold medal worthy. But then again, he did see them leave the party after basically humping each other on the dance floor, he did see Steve leave her bedroom and he did see Pocket in Steve's shirt. When you're already insecure as hell and have fucked up one too many times, I can't blame him for jumping to conclusions. I also can see how distraught he was though, and not to be mean, but he does kinda need this for him to wake the fuck up. And again, the audacity to cause a whole scene about it too as if he has any right. But, unpopular opinion, I don't see an asshole at all. I see a broken man who's spiraling out of control and is hitting rock bottom as we speak. He's grasping at straws, he has no idea what to do with himself, and he's lost everything, and for a man who's been at war for the last 70 years, what's the one thing he knows best? Fighting. So, he fights.

The toxic masculinity was so on point. When Pocket picked up the water I was cheering this whole time lmao. Absolute wild animals these men sometimes. She honestly should just have a spray bottle in hand, spray them when they act up. Also, that line about where's Steve hand was made me CACKLE. Like yes queen. They deserve to break each other's face a lil for thinking they can decide for Pocket and what she does with her body honestly.

Lastly, because goodness me this is long. We're off on this mission, and I really do share Tony's concerns (and he's so sweet and caring about Pocket. I'm glad he's by her side. Also can't wait to see how they met!) This mission is going to take a toll on Pocket more than she's going to expect. She's using this as a distraction with what's been going on recently, and that's not good. Because I don't think she fully realises the gravity of what she's about to go into. I'm thankful that Sam is there. But I just know, something about this mission is going to go so bad for Pocket. Maybe not physically, and the mission would end up a success, but mentally and emotionally? ESPECIALLY when she's already on a fragile state right now? Sigh. I won't like it, but shit about to hit all the fans.

Anyway. You're amazing as always. I always enjoy getting to pick at the details of your writing and it makes me giddy with excitement that I actually manage to nail some points hahaha. Keep doing what you're doing and don't forget to take care of yourself!

P.S. I love Sam and Pocket's friendship. I need more of them being best buds please and thanks.

— Jnon 🤍

Beloved Jnon, Please do not apologize for being "late!" It actually worked out in my favor, as I have been staying up too long into the night to respond to you, so this actually works well, because it's mid-day here and I actually got some sleep. Not enough, but I'm working on it lol. Reading Unwanted first thing in the morning sounds like a rough way to start your day! All the angst!

Yeah, Pocket had absolutely no reaction with Steve, lol. It was seriously all the MDMA, making her crave physical touch, and when she kind of came down more to herself and realized it was Steveoli who was doing the touching? Well, let's just say it was dryer than the Sahara down there, lol. Ah, the little details that don't make it into the finished work! I can confidently say though, that if Pocket hadn't stopped it, herself, Steve most definitely would not have. Steve needed to hear Pocket break down in front of him, to see how she was affected by all of this. It was a wakeup call for him, and it allowed me to say some of the stuff I wanted to say about Bucky's state of mind without having Bucky say it himself (because who could believe him?!?) In later chapters, we'll get some first-hand insight into what kind of experience Juggalo had with Hydra, herself, and how those experiences shaped her connection with Barnstormer (intentionally vague wording here). I so fucking love how you are on the same page with me re: Bucky's mental state and motivations. Fucking love it.

And he is 100% flawed in this fic. He's trying to navigate this new world he doesn't understand, with all these sexual and social rules he doesn't understand. And I'd like to take a moment to point out that, in my timeline, Bucky has maybe spent a fraction of the time in Wakanda that he does in the MCU. Like, right now, in the story, it's about 2019-ish, meaning our Bucket left Wakanda sometime in 2017, probably less than a year after the events of Civil War, meaning that our Bucky has not done NEARLY as much mental healing as Canon!Bucky. So, when Canon!Bucky tells Cap that he's a "semi-stable 100 year old man" in Infinity War (which I just rewatched last night for Unbroken research!), our Bucket is even less so.

Right now, if there's one thing he's absolutely sure of, it's that he loves Pocket. But you're right, love is not longer enough here. Not for the two of them, not any more. Pocket's already realized that, and Bucket's just starting to.

Let's talk Bucky Barnes and the Audacity of this Bitch! When he barged into Pocket's room to accuse her of sleeping with Steve, he definitely wasn't thinking about what he'd done. He was thinking about confronting evidence of the worst thing he could imagine. It was one thing for him to conjure up the idea in his head, but it's driving him absolutely crazy to see physical evidence of it with his own eyes (even if its just circumstantial physical evidence!). I want to say, though, that even after he thought they slept together after her party, HE DID NOT go running to Jackrabbit for comfort-- I think that's progress! :D Right now, all he knows is how to fight, and how to hurt-- himself, and other people. It's all he's done for 75 years. Pocket was beyond livid over the two of them fighting about her, without really seeming to care about her-- just who got access to her body. Girl lived that life too long as a child; she was done with it long ago. I do like to imagine, though, that after she and Sam left, Bucky and Steve started fighting again, but this time they're all wet from being dowsed in water, so their shirts are sticking to them, and the fight is very homoerotic.... Finally, Tony's concerns for Pocket are very, very valid. He's kind of forcing her to regress, and he's really scared about what that might do to her mentally. Not to mention, she's putting herself in a dangerous position where women are being kidnapped and trafficked. He's got the utmost faith in her; it's just everyone else he doesn't trust. I love getting your messages, I love discussing the story with you! It makes me so happy! I promise there's one more good Sam/Pocket scene!

[thesalemwitchtries]

Okay so I've been lurking a lot instead of reblogging as I try to do, and this is because when I'm in the library doing work and get distracted by a good fic, it feels less like being off task if I'm just reading and not interacting, like reading is taking a study break, good for the brain, but interacting is being On Your Phone, and is off task.

Now the semester is done however, and I am free to do as I wish guilt free. One of the major things that I need to catch up on is a new fandom rabbit-hole that I fell into, which began with me accidentally stumbling on a fic while late-night scrolling, reading it, and then proceeding to completely devour almost the entire catalogue of works of several writers. I'll get around to re-reading and commenting on what I've spent the past like two weeks being absolutely lost in, but first I wanted to give a quick shout-out to the accounts because I know that sailor-aviator is having a milestone positivity event, and also they all just deserve it.

I think it started with @roosterforme and Bradley Bradshaw, and then devolved into reading almost everything that @jupitercomet, @sailor-aviator, and @goldenseresinretriever have ever published. This next part is long-winded gushing and also I think maybe turned into a marriage proposal? I'm not sure, hopefully its not creepy/weird

Seriously amazing work, like I can't truly express the amount of resistance I had to tgm before finding these accounts, but I had avoided watching the movie for the longest time bc my super shitty ex was a pilot (Air Force, and in training, but still we did tour the ship in SD when we were together) and also because he seriously looks like if you bought a hybrid of Lewis Pullman and Glen Powell from Dollar Tree and then made him scrawny, incredibly boring, and also unable to understand the word no or that it's not a crime to do a little shimmy when a good song comes on the grocery store radio

Now I feel cured of that in a way, like I don't know him, who was that? All I know are the incredible and delicious men that these guys are writing about.

You guys are out here soothing traumas unknowingly all while writing kicking-my-legs-blushing-and-giggling quality romances, like, can't thank you enough for the work and effort and time that has clearly gone into all that you guys are doing (for free!) and I hope that you all are proud of what you've been creating.

Like yeah, fanfic is just silly little stories, but these are your silly little stories that wouldn't exist without your hardwork and brains, and also they're incredible silly little stories. 🫶

Specifically I've been obsessed with sailor's Tarzan Bradley (he's so in love and also horny I love it, 🫠 ugh can't get enough), and her Bob series is so cute and seasonal I love him sm! 🥰🥰

And I didn't want to get sucked in, but sailor's merman Jake series converted me to becoming a part-time Jake girlie, of course with the help of golden's hockey au with Bugs and Lola, they're so cute and I'm living for Honey and Bradley you don't even know. I used to go to hockey games with my grandpa all the time (go Fireants lmao) so its nostalgic, but also bc of that old-guy association I don't think I ever really considered the horny potential of hockey, so thanks so much for opening my eyes to new growth opportunities for male objectification 😭

Anyways I hope this isn't like, too weird or makes you uncomfortable, I just wanted to take the chance to get out some of this built-up appreciation and share some positive thoughts ig, thanks for all your work and creativity, and also for bringing me a new fandom to hyperfixate on, its like a christmas gift, lol

[takaraphoenix]

Shadow and Bone: Season 2 Darklina Review

Okay, one more SaB season 2 review, this one very specifically only about Darklina. Felt wrong to put it into the main review because it would have taken like two third of the review probably.

I’ve never made a ship-specific review for a show before, but I have so many thoughts about them after this season, so here we go.

This ship just makes me feel unhinged to a degree I am not used to? I honestly think I usually feel pretty... normal... about my ships? Even when I love them a lot and they evoke strong feelings in me, but something about Darklina is incomprehensible to me.

Part of it, clearly, is the incredible amount of chemistry between their actors. I mean, that’s just off the charts, the eye-fuckery between them in delicious, they put so much passion into their scenes, it’s amazing. Not just their romantic scenes in season 1, but also their scenes in season 2. Even their enemy scenes are filled to the brim with so much raw passion.

But it’s also the writing. Which I find confusing because I’ve heard it, repeatedly, that the author apparently doesn’t even... like... Aleksander...? Or the ship? And I’m... Look, there is the very simple nature of hero/villain ships in that they will always happen on account of people wanting to ship heroes and villains, regardless of how much you want to discourage them.

But the writing on this doesn’t discourage it, it encourages it to levels that I’ve rarely seen. I mean, they crammed legitimate soulmate tropes into this show. Things happened these season that I have used in fanfiction as “soulmate AU” plotlines.They had shared dreams. Not even just shared dreams, but they could talk to each other in these shared dream spaces.

The whole “two sides of the same coin” and “the light and the darkness” and the sun and moon symbolism is the obvious one, it’s wildly beloved, we’ve seen it in season 1 already. It’s catnip for villain/hero ships.

But now they added literal soulmate AU tropes into the mix and I’m not supposed to be madly deeply into this...? I don’t really know how that’s thought through.

Alina’s wanted poster was actual fanart of Darklina. She was wanted for fanfiction plot. I would actually like to read that alternate timeline she was wanted for. That was a great pitch. I’ve seen someone say that was supposed to mock Darklina shippers? I’m sorry? There was art of my ship in canon and the entire country thought they were some badass power couple why was I supposed to feel mocked by that? That evoked a feeling of validation and satisfaction in me...?

I’ll be honest, I was very afraid of season 2 for a multitude of reasons and one of them was Darklina. I loved them in season 1, when they actually got together, but knowing the writer doesn’t like the ship, knowing they wanted to actively discourage shippers, and knowing what other shows/movies like to do when a hero and villain fully find themselves on opposing sides, I really dreaded where season 2 would find Aleksander and Alina.

Part of me feared that they’d make Alina the doe-eyed hero; a very common trope, especially when there are canonical feelings - of any variety - between the hero and the villain is that the hero very desperately and naively tries to reason with the villain and tries to redeem them. And, let’s be real, it would not have been unreasonable to suspect so because with literally everybody else Alina displays a disturbing amount of naivety and forgiveness. Every single person who has backstabbed, betrayed and manipulated her, she has forgiven and let close again without any hesitation.

Anyway, that’s just a dynamic I greatly dislike, it’s not my cup of tea. So I was very pleasantly surprised by the way it went - for one, by just how completely Alina turned against Aleksander, it seemed very extreme especially considering her over-eagerness to forgive virtually everyone else, but also because I really enjoyed it. I didn’t expect that. I mean, I ship them, why would I enjoy them opposing each other this much?

Again, the incredible chemistry between their actors really played into it. Every confrontation between them was so charged it was so intense to watch. There was something so very overwhelming about Jessie and how... powerful she was, when she held her head high against Aleksander. True power couple vibes.

Baghra was also a big part of delivering the ship this season, making Alina confront just how deep the bond between them runs? It just seems like such a choice to put his mom on her side and to have his mom make Alina consider this deep soul connection that she shares with Aleksander. Once again, you write it like that and I’m not supposed to sell my soul to this ship, how?

It was also incredible to me just how much the writers made Mal look like a rebound. Going into this season, I was aware that book canon dictates Mal and Alina would become a couple. But I kind of expected there to be... a build up...? I was bracing myself for them to spend season 2 building up a romance, but they just right away started with them making out. I’m sorry, how can I take this serious as a relationship, she’s been with Aleksander like, what, a week ago? And now she’s making out with Mal?

And the first time she uses the term “love” to describe what’s going on between her and Mal isn’t when she’s with Mal, it’s when she’s with Aleksander, in the dreamspace. And I’m not supposed to take that as her trying to make him jealous?

All I could see was a cheap rebound and I honestly felt bad for the guy. She’s literally standing in a shared mindspace with the man she has a deep soul-connection to, teasing him and using Mal to make him jealous. Unhinged behavior. Excellent. I love it.

Even the corruption arc for Alina!! Because one of the things that get me about Darklina is that I really, truly, genuinely under no circumstances would want a redemption arc for Aleksander - and here I’m cutting a rant that is going to be its own plot probably - I would much rather have a corruption arc for Alina.

Sure, Aleksander died. And I absolutely could have done without that. But... his last act before dying was trying to save her life and that was. Damn. That hit me hard. And then he still died by her hand. And that also hit me hard. But I even kind of liked that? In a poetic sense?

And then the corruption fully kicked in at the end, Alina wields shadows and smiles. Unclear if she smiles because she enjoyed using shadows, or because she enjoyed killing, or because she enjoyed the powers. Maybe all three.

Either way, Baghra talked so much about Morozovas and resurrection and now Alina has these powers and seems to like them and it seems reasonable to assume Alina could or might resurrect Aleksander with them.

Whether or not she does that though, once again I ask, how do you give her his powers, how do you keep condemning him for killing people and then you give her his powers and you make her smile after using these powers to kill someone - and you still don’t want me to ship this? Really?

This ship is so... poetic and intense and it makes me feel so much and I truly can’t comprehend that the writers actively want viewers not to feel that way about this ship because damn, they’re really bad as writers if this is them writing with the intention of “this ship bad :/ these two Not Good Romantic Partners :/”. You can’t pack a dynamic full with so much symbolism, tension and so many romantic tropes and expect people to not be into it.

[kory-dany]

Dickkory fic recs

I got asked months ago to make a list of dickkory fics, and since season 4 premiers tomorrow - I thought I should finally make one. I’ve posted a couple times about how much I appreciate dickkory fic writers, but I just want to say again that you guys truly are amazing. And the wait for season 4 would have been hell without all the brilliant pieces you all have written.

This is a list of all of my favourite dickkory fics since season 1 but please suggest others because I’m always looking for more fics about our favourite bird boy and alien princess. 

Anyway heres the list, happy reading!!

hope’s lost at my door

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29156016/chapters/71578401

And Dick didn’t want to be the one to ruin or interfere with that on account of his own feelings. It’s been so long since he’s seen her like this, it wouldn’t be fair if he was the one to take that away. She deserved to be happy more than anyone else that he knew even if it wasn’t with him.

The trails of not being a boyfriend 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093878

If he was her boyfriend he’d tell her that everything was going to be okay, that Rachel would succeed at reviving Donna somehow, and that together they’d deal with the unholy disaster that was Kory’s sister. And he’d hold her and rock her until she started to believe it. But for now, he’ll settle for just making her smile.

Dealing with change 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519552

Dick is not particularly thrilled about Kory's choice of straightening her hair. Kory finds it amusing, and might as well use it to her advantage while she can.

Dick Grayson

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302466/chapters/40696463

In the season finale, Trigon traps Dick in a dreamscape that begins with him living a domestic life, but soon takes a turn, pushing him on a dark journey back to Gotham where he'll finally have to face Bruce, and himself.

Whatever Happens 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16682479

“Yeah, yeah, it’s no big deal.” Dick realizes his attempts at sounding relaxed and poised is still incredibly unconvincing: his voice is uncharacteristically high and his shoulders are still extremely tense, but he’s already started and maybe he can fake it better if he keeps going. “People say ‘I love you’ all the time and no one notices. Especially hanging up on the phone. It’s basically a habit for everyone, nobody notices it anymore. Right? Right?”

Fight for me

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38328379/chapters/95774134

After finally getting together, Kory disappears in the middle of the night without a trace. Dick doesn’t take it well.

Take These Guns From Me (I Can’t Shoot Them Anymore)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37785901/chapters/94342054

Set during Purple Rain - To save Kory’s life Rachel throws her back in time. Whilst there, Kory stumbles upon Dick Grayson during his bloody crusade as Robin. The consequences of this moment will ripple across timelines.

Somethings Gonna Break 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35765566/chapters/89185453

Kory puts her own life in danger and Dick loses it

i’m following the map that leads to you 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35815915/chapters/89311456

The one thing Kory (and clearly Dick) hadn’t considered about this RV road trip was the sleeping arrangements.

Who’s Gonna Love You Like Me?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36174835

Kory gets ready for a date she never goes to when Dick Grayson comes home a little drunk and very jealous.

Girl Full of Stars

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35487979

Dick is once again thinking about the girl in the woods and what it all means.

Demons After Dark 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35157883

AU Season 3 - Kory struggles to cope with the aftermath of being exposed to fear toxin. Her family comfort her.

Until Now 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34237810

Dick Grayson prides himself in being able to keep his emotions in check at all times. Tucked away, hidden behind an unwavering composure, like an impassive façade. A shield. A safety measure. He is always in control of himself. Always composed, always calculating, always aware of his next move—

Or he did.

Until Kory.

Heaven is a place on Earth 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31716025

Stargazing was really relaxing and helped with her shattered nerves but Kory knew deep down she needed something more.

Flames (former and otherwise)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995280/chapters/68572062

While vacationing in France on the heels of a break-up, Dick Grayson runs into his ex-girlfriend Kory Anders, but what's meant to be a friendly reunion escalates in a way neither of them is prepared for.

Turning Point 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27963554

Which... he... shouldn’t feel this way. He shouldn’t only want her. This thing they have; it’s not exclusive. So why does it feel like it is?It’s just sex. Nothing more.

/

Dick has all the feelings. He just has to actually deal with them.

Silver Line 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24402082

Post-season 2. Dick wake up to someone messing the kitchen in the middle of the night and is surprised to not find any of his children, but Kory having a midnight emotional crisis.

Still Be Your Person 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071406

“I’m not going to kiss you just because you’re pretty and the closest person to me at the party, Dick.” Which is a lie. She would kiss him if he asked. Even if was just for some earth tradition. Which he knows. Which makes this whole game they play even more ridiculous that earth holidays.

Or, Dick explains New Year's Eve traditions to Kory.

Like The Stars Miss The Sun

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657681

Dick Grayson know’s he lives a pretty dangerous lifestyle, but he thinks these moments, these silent, stolen moments when he thinks of Kory’s smile and her laugh and the way she knows what he’s thinking sometimes even before he does are the most dangerous parts of his day.

Or, Dick and Kory and three months of missing each other.

under rocks 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448719

It's not absolution Kory wants, it's understanding. Or peace rather, space to breathe.

let it blaze, alright 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19881847

“No, I just… Being a hero sounds fun. And I think, well, why can't I do it?”

Dick breathes in and out. Fun. Of course Kory thinks of this as a fun activity.

The Kiss At Dawn 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18123299

"Kory— work, remember? Gotta be there soon."

She hums, tilting his head up.

"And yet the world will not implode if detective Grayson is a little late," she teases, smile spreading, wider and easy, on her face. He finds himself biting down a smile of his own. // [Dick has to go to work. Kory has other plans.]

if you trusted love this far

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132966

“…love brought you here. If you trusted love this far, don’t panic now.” - Dick and Kori are learning to be parents and then one day find out they'll actually be ones

adrenaline 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930903/chapters/49760705

Adrenaline isn't always a good feeling.

scenes from a situationship 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34884445/chapters/86863252

Because they are a thing even if they aren't officially A Thing. A series of unconnected canon-ish one shots about Dick and Kory in between S3 and S4.

The Many Splintered Pieces of You and I

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37161970/chapters/92711158

'At some point, he was bound to erupt, she just didn’t know it would be now, and she certainly didn’t know it would be like this.'

Kory takes care of Dick after he's saved from Blood's mind control.

Good News 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36112342

The others hear her. Hear her screaming, in the midst of handing their targets. Trying to look in her direction. But shielding themselves. Their eyes. The light it’s too much. They can’t see it. It’s blinding. They can’t look. Only Conner can manage to.

It’s almost. Almost like a supernova, happening before their eyes.

“Starfire” Dick screams into his ear piece.

-

Kory finds out she’s pregnant, and waits to tell the others, especially Dick.

[high-functioning-lokipath]

Hiiii!!! First, I wanna say you are absolutely amazing and I love your writing!! 💚💚

If it's ok, I'd like to request a Loki x female reader where reader is a writer (fic writer is fine) who may try to push herself too hard to get caught up on what she's working on, but she really loves doing it! And one day she got a not very nice comment, and she gets a little discouraged and be notices, and tries to make her feel better?? If any of this isn't ok it's tooooootally fine!! Thank you for reading!! And again your amazing!! 💚

🍰🐍🍰

@michelleleewise IT'S DONE! FINALLY! WORDS: 1,423

Also I did not beta read even for myself so...

I have kinda been stressing over this ironically bc I REALLY loved the idea but got brain clog...so

Enjoy!!!!!!!

“Everyone! I’d like you to meet Y/N. She’ll be our Social Media Manager for the team,” Tony announces. “She’ll be responsible for any posts by the Avengers' name as well as PSA campaigns and personal posts.” The team all nods and welcomes you to the team.

“Hopefully there won’t be any more incidents like last week, right Tony?” Nat teases. Tony shoots her a look and clears his throat.

“Anyways!” He says loudly. “Please make sure to log out of all Avengers team accounts from your personal devices.”

“You’re the only one who’s-”

“Barnes, one more time and-”

“What? You’ll shoot my parents?”

“Okay! We get it!” Steve yells, standing up.

“This is going to be interesting,” You chuckle.

Over the next few weeks, you find yourself settling in quite nicely. The team is more than welcoming and has no trouble having you make their posts. Except for Tony, of course. Almost everyone has made a post by now, save for the ever illusive god of mischief. The team always asks what you post about on your personal accounts, but you never say, excusing that you don’t want to mix your personal life with business.

There is one thing the team, and really no one else you know in real life, has knowledge of. Tumblr. You have a Tumblr blog. And not just any blog, an Avengers fanfiction blog. And even more specifically, fanfiction about none other than Loki himself. You guarded your phone with your life for this reason. Sam was too nosey, Nat would know just looking at your phone, and Steve would probably be so innocent that he would show Tony to find out what it was. So you never let anyone touch your phone.

Looking back, you probably should have used two different phones, one for work and one for Tumblr. But then again, this wouldn’t have happened if not for that.

The day finally comes when Loki inquires about making a post himself. At first, you think he’s joking, it is April Fools’ after all, but he’s serious. The odd little holiday was seemingly perfect for him. You immediately unlock your phone, all too excited to help him. Unfortunately, you forgot the last app you used was Tumblr and you had not closed out of the app. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to notice. That night, unbeknownst to you, Loki does a little web surfing himself.

A few days pass and you have forgotten completely about the incident. This particular afternoon, you’re in the library, doing some research for a post only to find yourself not alone.

“Hello, Lady Y/N,” Loki greets, a pleasant smile on his face.

“I’ve told you to leave off this ‘lady’ business,” You reply, chuckling softly. You take a moment to really look around, noticing this room is the most like Loki of all the rooms in the tower. He even seems to have a few personal knick-knacks moved in. “You like to read don’t you?” You say, taking a seat on one of the armchairs.

“How could you tell?” Loki asks with mock surprise, his signature smirk spreading on his lips before he returns to his book. The two of you sit in silence for a while, you eventually finding what you need and making the post. You mindlessly start scrolling and eventually make your way to Tumblr. “What’s this?” Loki asks, suddenly appearing behind you.

“Loki!” You scream, clasping your phone to your chest and falling out of the chair in the process. 

“Oh don’t worry, love. I’ve already been doing my research. I noticed it the other day.” Your face reddens impossibly, your heart pounding in your ears. You open your mouth to say something but your throat tightens, tears welling up in your eyes. You draw your knees up, hoping this is all just a bad dream. “Don’t cry please,” Loki says, cupping your cheek in his hand and sitting down beside you. “I was actually quite impressed. There are quite a few good writers on there. Including yourself. I never thought anyone would actually be a fan of mine,” He admits quietly.

“You’re not mad?” You ask, tears streaming down your cheeks unbidden. “You could have me fired! It’s terribly personal! Why wouldn’t you be angry?”

“Because I happen to be terribly honored and quite flattered. I know there will always be people who don’t like me. Hate me. But I never thought people would like me. Anyone at all besides my mother,” He finishes in a whisper.

"Well, I like you," You say quietly. "If it makes any difference." Loki smiles and chuckles lowly. 

"It certainly does, little one. And I truly don't mind what you write. In fact, if you ever have a question while you're creating one of your stories, I'd be happy to help," He offers. You look up at him with wide eyes.

"You really would do that?" You ask. He nods in reply and you note a slight blush on his cheeks. Neither of you acknowledges the obvious crush you have on each other, both of you being too afraid of heartbreak. 

As the weeks go by, Loki is surprisingly helpful as you write your next series. Unbeknownst to you, Loki made a Tumblr account of his own and followed you. He’s read all your stories and is happy to see the positive feedback you always get. But recently, things have changed a little. You’ve been extra busy handling some damage control and haven’t had time to update. Loki sees the hateful comments start to roll in. None from any of your regular followers of course, but rather from those random people who apparently don’t have anything better to do. 

Where’s the updates?

Come on! Write the next part already!

You promised the next chapter last week!

You can’t possibly be that busy!

With every comment, Loki wants more and more to track those idiots down. But you don’t need more unfavorable press to deal with. So he works out at the gym more. No one asks why all the punching bags are broken even though the Captain is out of the country on a mission.

He notices one night that you are missing from the dinner table. “Stark, where’s the girl?”

“The girl? Oh, you mean Y/N? She’s still working.” Loki nods sharply, concerned for you. None of the other Avengers know how close the two of you have become and he doesn’t want to seem too interested lest it causes you more trouble. 

“I see,” He says. Once the meal is finished, he slips away as quickly as possible to check up on you. “Y/N?” He calls out, entering the floor you work on. Everyone else has left and the floor is dark, save for one small cubical in the corner. He walks up to your desk and finds you face down with your arms over your head. Quiet sobs escape your lips and he frowns. “What’s wrong, Y/N?” He asks, kneeling next to you and putting his hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s just-” You start. “They want me to finish the story but I’m stuck and too tired to force myself to finish it!” Loki sighs softly, rubbing your back.

“You don’t need to finish it because they told you to. You should be able to-”

“You’re kneeling,” You comment, inturrupitng him. Loki gives you a look and clears his throat. 

“That’s not the point! The point-” He yells, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “The point is that you have fun. This is supposed to be a recreational activity, yes?” You nod in reply and he smiles at you. “Then have fun. Anyone who bothers you obviously never learned manners and should be-well, perhaps I should not incriminate myself,” He teases. You laugh and throw yourself at him, hugging him tightly. 

“Loki, you are my hero,” You whisper. You can feel him tense at your words and you pull away, embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s just-”

“Will you marry me?”

“What?” You exclaim, looking up at him.

“I mean, will you- would you-could I-” He stutters, face bright red.

“Proverbial cat have your silvertongue, mischief?” You ask, grinning at him.

“May I court you, Lady Y/N?” He finally asks, smiling sweetly at you. “I’m on my knees,” He points out, his regular smirk appearing on his lips.

“Do we get to live happily ever after?” You ask, taking his hands.

“We write our own futures, right?”

TAG ME IN EVERYTHING

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Loki

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@xorpsbane

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen

Marvel (all characters, including Loki)

@lokislittlesigyn

@gaitwae

@kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay

@thoughts-and-lovely-illusions

@lokistoriesblog

@hugsforhiddleston

@vbecker10

@the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned

@acefeather2002

[iheartbookbran]

I think the show created a "friendship" between Rhaenyra and Alicent to demonize Rhaenyra and victimize Alicent.

I don’t agree entirely tbh, like I do not hate all changes the show made with Alicent’s character, mostly because the book version is so cartoonishly evil and uninteresting, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting her to have more depth, and I think the idea of turning her into a repressed catholic lesbian is amazing, A+, no notes. However I do dislike how much into a victim the writers ended up turning her into, because that’s almost as boring as the one-note villain version of f&b, and twice as annoying.

But I don’t necessarily think Rhaenyra is the one who’s harmed the most by the victimization of Alicent, the character who actually bears the real brunt of that is Viserys. Because in the book there’s nothing indicating that Viserys is ike, abusive or neglectful towards Alicent or the children he has with her. When they marry he’s only 8-9 years older than her and she’s 18, and some might find that situation still a bit icky but it’s nowhere near the same as a man in his mid 30s marrying his daughter’s 15 year old friend. Alicent also isn’t a teen mom, she has Aegon when she’s twenty.

We don’t know how good of a father Viserys was towards his younger children but we know he wasn’t a great one to Rhaenyra, since he allowed some of the more harmful rumors to grow around her, especially in relation to Criston Cole and their supposed romance that started when Rhaenyra was still a teenager and him several years older than her. Viserys also did nothing when Alicent started to antagonize a much younger Rhaenyra and isolating her from court. Not to mention the fact that he threatened Rhaenyra with disinheriting her when she very understandingly didn’t want to marry Laenor.

Aemond’s scuffle with the Velaryon kids is even farmed differently in f&b since Aemond, to start, had beaten one of his nephews “savagely” and then Viserys made a decree that Alicent and her children would go back to KL with him while Rhaenyra and her family would stay at Dragonstone,… and yeah my guess is this was mainly because he hoped some distance would solve the problem without him having to do any of the work, but sending Rhaenyra away really opened the opportunity for the greens to move further with their agenda and enabled them to usurp her in the first place.

And again, how he was as a father towards his younger children is hard to judge; we know his last night alive he spent it telling stories to Helaena and her kids, so maybe we can come to the conclusion the he at least had a positive relationship with her. Aegon and Aemond didn’t seem to be super devastated by their father’s death but Aegon and Aemond were huge assholes, so maybe their reaction shouldn’t be indicative of Viserys’ worth as a parent.

I feel like the main thing about book Viserys’ relationship with book Alicent is that by all accounts he wasn’t a terrible husband to her but she resented him anyways because the one thing he wouldn’t budge in was naming her son Aegon as his heir. She never forgave him for that and she sized the throne and left his corpse to rot. And of course the show tweaked that by having Viserys start to rot before his actual death, still due to his ow actions (or inactions).

Obviously the show also switched Jaehaerys’ role in Alicent’s story with Viserys as the dying king she cares for and calls her by another woman’s names, but I think that quite misses the point because I feel like Jaehaerys (despite my own personal opinions on him) represented something in Alicent’s life that she could genuinely look back to fondly and wasn’t corrupted by all the politics and scheming Otto dragged her into. In her dying moments she wanted to see her children and she also wanted to read to the kind old king who called her by his lost daughter’s name but never asked anything else from her. It’s an humanizing moment, the only one Alicent really gets in the book.

They simply cannot do the same thing now with Viserys because the nature of their relationship is not at all innocent nor something she could believably look back to positively. I guess they could replace that moment with her remembering Rhaenyra and wanting to go back to their lost childhood, but lmao that would suck, especially after all the betrayal and child murder. That scene in the last episode of Rhaenyra weeping over the torn page Alicent sent her as if she hadn’t just lost a child and was betrayed by Alicent and the rest of the greens, and Ryan Condal wants me to believe there’s still hope for reconciliation as if that wouldn’t be a terrible writing choice because no human being would be able to forgive that.

[hxlbrook]

my thoughts after watching Doctor Who vs Women

Okay, so I just finished watching the amazing video essay Doctor Who vs Women by verilybitchie on YouTube and it made me realise two things that I just wanted to get out :)

The first thing is how I look at fictional characters.

When you ask me who my favourite doctor is I can't just give you an answer right away. I always have to clarify some things first and the essay by verilybitchie kind of highlighted this in my mind, which I find funny.

I first have to state that my favourite era is RTD's era, because it's the best written one. Then I have to state that David Tennant is one of my favourite actors (because I'm silly and feel like I betray him otherwise). And then it comes out that 11 is my favourite Doctor. But why is that? One of my favourite parts about the Doctor is that he's such an asexual being. But the eleventh doctor suddenly is sexually attracted to women. How is 11 then my favourite? This brings me to how I look at characters. This isn't the first time that I adore a character but am appalled by the uncharacteristic thing he does.

A very simple example of this is Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. In season 1 he says something about golf being bad for the environment. I'm a biologist so I loved him for that comment. But later it's written that his hobby is fishing, which to me makes zero sense if you care about the environment. In my mind I just put it in my "no" box and I decide for myself that it's not him.

I create a version of the character in my mind who I think they are. If the writer makes the character do something that I think is uncharacteristic I just don't really view it as cannon. I just say that it's the writers fault and not the character's.

Anyway, that's on how I look at fictional characters, which I think is funny and a bit silly and I know lots of people don't agree with it. But that doesn't matter, cause it makes my own viewing experience better haha. All in all, I think Matt Smith played the doctor very well, but Moffat made some choices for the character that I very much not agree with and I realise I'm very capable of ignoring that.

The second thing I want to talk about is more tied to the actual essay of verilybitchie.

So, yes, I think we can all agree that Moffat writes women and couple dynamics to feed his own fetish. It's not even hidden in his seasons. But I don't like how Amy is always given as THE example of this, as if she is the most 2d character ever. When I watched it I definitely didn't experience her that way (I experienced River much more so). Looking back at her, yes, she was very much written to fullfill Moffat's own fantasy and I very much view her as waisted potential.

The way she acts makes a lot of sense for a girl who didn't have a nice home life and then met a very magical man that then left her again while promising he'd be back in five minutes. She has abandonment issues and is insecure in her relationship with Rory because of it. I also don't like it when people say she didn't love Rory. The whole arc is that she shows love differently than he does. She starts out as someone who is troubled and childish because of her childhood. Over the seasons she grows up.

Yes, the sexual assault of the doctor was very weird and bad and incredibly awful to watch (I physically cringe away from my screen every time I watch it), especially since it was just brushed over. Again, I view this very much as a writer's mistake and not as Amy's mistake, but that's my way of looking at fictional characters xD and I completely understand if you hold her accountable for it.

But now I wonder if the complexity I see in Amy is just something that I see in her and wasn't something that was intended by the writers. Not that it matters, cause it's art and art is about how the viewer interprets it, right?

What I hate the most is how I feel like out of all the companions she is put through the most. Her memory of people she loved is wiped multiple times. She gave birth in the most ffed up circumstances and then lost her child and then realised she grew up with the child! (God, I hate that story line). This is all a lot, but there are no signs that she's actually mentally messed up about it, which makes absolutely no sense. She (and Rory too btw) just take the information as it is and continue their lives. This all really irritated me about that era.

Ironically, I also love this era even though it has so many faults. The little family the doctor created for himself with Amy and Rory is so incredibly special to me. The dynamic the doctor had with that couple definitely comes second place for me when it comes to doctor companion dynamics (Rose and the Doctor on number 1). Rory is also my favourite companion and my favourite Doctor Who episode is Dinosaurs on a spaceship. [I mainly love the episode cause it's just really funny and fun, very much a comfort episode]

So yeah, even though I think Moffat made some very(!) bad writing choices, he did give me my favourite companion and episode. Who would have guessed there is nuance to almost everything?

[koreandragon]

lmao pine that vincenzo netlix thing happens to me all the time.. i also get random notifs on my phone that tell me to "continue watching" bc i sometimes feel like rewatching some scenes. was funny yesterday when i was finishing reborn rich and got so tired of all the fuckery, i took a break and checked my phone and it was just netflix again telling me to watch vincenzo like YEAH.... i might as well now bc reborn rich totally lost me in the last episode

(will rant a little if it's ok!)

honestly though– what in the world was that ending? like who over at jtbc thought this was a good idea and let the writer have her way??? i'd love to know bc i think what the novel did (no HW in the new life, DJ gets revenge, becomes ceo, marries MY, end) was so much better. yeah it's simple but better than what we got. here the writer wanted to be creative? what was the point of ep 2-15 and all that we've seen DJ go through only to have an ending like that and then explain it with "repentance"? like what...... and it was lined with plotholes like a swiss cheese 😭

so while i enjoyed the drama, the end kinda ruined it for me personally. the novel was about rebirth/revenge and while we watched DJ trying to take over sunyang, all that was naught in the end since we end with HW again and nothing he "did" as DJ ever mattered. by changing the ending, the writer completely fucked the point of the story over. now it's about repentance? why not just make a movie with the plot of ep 1 and 16 and call it a day then? idk. the more i try to make sense of it all the more i don't understand. also such a waste of lee sung mins amazing performance :(

what's your general thought of the ending?

vincenzo will forever haunt me, i feel like i see his face wherever i go i wish i could erase it from my head so i can watch it again. my life drama. anyway.

well i didn't love the drama ngl to you there were fun bits where he fucked his family over but none of that was truly cathartic? and there were too much politics and corporate lingo like i barely followed along. i wrote this in a post too that it will never truly be revenge because the jin family won't know who he is and why he's doing it. revenge is all about looking into your enemy's eyes and letting them know it was you who fucked them over and why you did it. isn't it? so i was wondering how that was going to go, i guess they did that with hyunwoo at the end but it didn't actually matter because the guy who did kill dojun and tried to kill him got to die peacefully in his sleep none the wiser. he got to be the chairman of soonyang for 20 years without any accountability.

the doppelganger thing still bothers me like hyunwoo literally could've been played by any other actor because he was only in the first and last eps and some flashback scenes i don't understand why joongki had to play them both it's just too much suspension of belief for me. plus the thing that bothered me ESPECIALLY that i already talked about is that hyunwoo was supposed to know about dojun's accident. he was literally there and he still couldn't avoid it while he was dojun cause he conveniently forgot it ever happened or idk??? like that shit irks me. don't even get me started on the romance and minyoung's character because it was abismal. i trusted this writer because she wrote designated survivor and it's still one of my favorite dramas and it was very entertaining despite being so political. waited a year for this drama cause it's joongki's project after vincenzo but i guess you win some and you lose some. better luck next time.

[pochipop]

oh my god i just read your “what am i to you” genshin hc and I literally fell in love with your writing, if you’re not busy i was wondering if you can do a pt.2 where the genshin men finally came into terms with their feelings?? (Feel free to ignore this if you have too muck work to do!!) you’re an amazing writer and im looking forward to more of your works <33

＃GENSHIN IMPACT !! ♡ — COMING TO TERMS WITH THEIR FEELINGS.

#. synopsis! — they think it over and finally give you an answer .

#. characters! —kaeya, diluc, childe .

#. warnings! — mild angst .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

#. part I! — you can find the first post of the inciting prompt of 'asking "what am i to you?"' : here .

𖦹. ━ KAEYA !!

A couple weeks trickle by, and you've mostly come to terms with an inevitable outcome of emotional limbo. You love Kaeya, and he doesn't know what he wants in this life, —maybe he doesn't really know what it feels like to be loved like this, or to love someone else in turn. Life returns to semi-normalcy, where you don't ask and he doesn't tell. It weighs heavy on your heart sometimes, but a part of you knows you'd rather have him here filling in the gaps than never see him again and have him leave you lonely. This is a battle you're willing to lose if it means he'll still look towards you fondly.

He's a good friend, —always has been. Reliable, charming, fairly easy to please, all of that and more wrapped up in a neatly groomed package. He's not perfect by any means, but nobody is, and Kaeya does his best to adapt to any situation he finds himself in. This one might be a little lost on him, though, not that you can really blame him. In all fairness you dropped a bomb on him from out of nowhere expecting some sort of happy ending from the courage alone, and when that didn't pan out. . . Well, maybe that outcome was simply more likely from the beginning anyhow. You blame yourself for getting your hopes up so high.

Slowly but surely, your heart settles. Many say that time heals wounds, and you begin to think that there's some truth to that in the weeks that come, —each day soothing you little by little. Kaeya is still somewhat distant, but that comes as no surprise to you. It's only natural that some things have changed now that he knows how you really feel, and you know. . . Very little about his feelings in return. His heart has always been hidden behind strong, soaring walls, after all. You knew that much from the very beginning.

"Sara!" You call out to her with a smile, "I managed to get all the ingredients you asked for, —even freshly gathered fowl for smoking!"

"Really?" Her scarlet eyes light up a bit, "That's lovely. I wasn't expecting everything all in one go, but I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from you."

Her smile is warm and comforting. It fills you with a sense of pride when she examines your ingredients and comments on the sublime quality.

"I can't believe you carried all of this here by yourself and didn't crack a single egg!" She gushes, "—thank you for the help, I really appreciate it! I don't know what I would have done without you!"

"Don't mention it!" You smile. "It was no trouble at all! I'm trying to keep busy these days anyway."

Being productive leaves little room for self-pity, which is the last thing you need. You know well enough how to care for yourself in this state of mind, and being sedentary wouldn't benefit you in the slightest.

"Oh!" Sara says suddenly, as if a lightbulb had gone off over her head. "You saying that reminds me! Captain Kaeya stopped by just a little while ago and left this for you."

She rummages around under the counter for a moment before pulling an envelope out from under. Your heart lurches.

"He mentioned that you've been busy lately and that it was hard to track you down. I hope that isn't on my account, —rest is important!" Sara notes as she hands the envelope over to you.

You assure her that it's nothing of the sort, escaping the situation as soon as possible in order to tear into the letter that you know is hiding inside. Giving her another smile and a quick wave goodbye, you turn the corner and break into a desperate sprint, moving quickly until you cross the Mondstadt bridge completely and find yourself a secluded spot to sit beneath a tree. Your heart hammers in anticipation.

I haven't seen you much these days, Kaeya writes. I hope you've been well. I'm ashamed for not having asked in person. I'm also ashamed that I haven't had the courage to approach you properly after what happened between us. I've been telling myself for days now that I'm going to move forward and make a serious move to bare my truths for you, but something inside has been holding me back, so I'm writing this now to avoid the calamity. If you will, please meet me by Starfell Lake at dusk. If you choose not to come, I understand. But I'd really like to see you there.

Sincerely,

— Kaeya.

The bottom of the letter is folded, and you pull it down to reveal a pressed sweet flower. The yellow of its petals is so vibrant. . . You let out a shaky breath as you weigh your options

—

In the end, you go to him. If nothing else you're in need of a proper rejection to truly begin the final stages of the healing process, and at least to some degree, you've made peace with every possible scenario you could think up. At the very least, this meeting with Kaeya will give you closure.

He looks like some kind of prince from a distance, waiting under a drunken moon for you. The crystalline waters of Starfell Lake glimmer like the surface is jewel encrusted. This feels too good to be true, —like a mirage that you're waiting to see ripped apart before your eyes, or a dream you're just waiting to wake up from.

"Hi, Kaeya," you approach him cautiously, hoping to avoid startling him.

"Y/n," he gives you a lopsided smile, "—you came."

"It was only fair. You listened to me when I had something important to say, and now it's my turn. So, whatever you need to get off your chest, I'm here to listen," you reply.

He takes a breath before he says anything further.

"I. . .” He pauses, wracking his mind for the right words, “I wish I knew how to say this in a way that would make it everything you’re hoping for it to be. And I’m sorry that I don’t. I brought you here thinking the atmosphere might help make up for that, but now I. . . I don’t know. Maybe there’s nothing to fill that.”

You swallow nervously, listening closely. He’s being painfully vague, but this is as close to vulnerable as you’ve ever really seen him. You fear that anything you say might destroy the balance here that’s already threatening to implode in a second.

“It’s just that I’ve been thinking a lot, and no matter what I do, my thoughts always draw back to you. It’s been like that for a long time, actually. . . I just didn’t know what to make of it. Or maybe I did know, and I was just scared of what those feelings represented. So I pushed them away, I pushed you away, and I also tried to keep you close. Arms length sometimes, and then closer, then farther away. And none of that was fair to you,” he acknowledges.

Maybe you’re just too soft-hearted, but you can’t manage to be angry with him. Not when he’s so far outside his comfort zone, using every ounce of his courage to be honest, even when the truth isn’t as pretty as he’d like it to be.

“Even now, I feel like I’m just talking to fill the silence so you don’t get too close,” Kaeya admits, but in direct contrast, he chooses to step toward you.

“A part of me wants to keep pushing you away so I don’t have to acknowledge anything. But I know I can’t hide from this forever, and even more, that I’ll regret it if I do.”

As you listen carefully, he reaches out; warm hand grasping hold of yours. Despite his cryo vision, he’s always so warm. His touch is calming, —reassuring in the way that his thumb draws along the ridges of your knuckles. You’re not sure it’ll do much good, but you squeeze his hand softly.

“Anything you say, I’ll respect it,” you whisper.

Tears well in his visible eye. The moonlight hits him just right, glistening off the wetness. He sniffles softly, as if nobody else in the world has ever told him that no matter what he chooses, they won’t hate him. Maybe nobody ever has, and the thought of it guts you.

As he opens his mouth, you see his bottom lip quiver. Before you can think twice, you’ve raised your hand to match the sharp curve of his jaw and the plush of his cheek. He meets your gaze in a way he’s never really done so before, and you get a glimpse at all the broken pieces inside him. You don’t know what caused them, or even if you can meld them back together, but all you want is for Kaeya to know that he doesn’t have to do so alone. Friend, lover, or anything in between, you want to be there for him to help him see this through.

“I can’t make you any grand promises,” he musters up a sad smile, “but I love you, and I want to be with you. . . And I hope that’s enough.”

It is.

𖦹. ━ DILUC !!

When Diluc has someone fetch you, summoning you to the tavern, you feel your heart sink low into the pit of your stomach. It’s only been a few days since the instigating conversation, and through it all, you hadn’t even managed to catch a glimpse of him in passing. That in itself wasn’t the most unusual thing, since Diluc largely prefers to work alone and seemingly has no vested interests in socializing like most people. Still, it makes you uneasy, and as you make your way to the tavern, you feel anxiety swim through your veins freely like fish to the open seas.

Chilly winds nip at your skin as you approach the wooden door, —and you knock lightly on the splintering boards, uncertain as to whether it was open. It seems much less lively this evening. It’s usually packed on nights when Diluc tends the bar since everyone has much praise for his skills in the position. They all say he makes the best drinks. You’ve only had a few drinks made by Diluc, but you’re inclined to agree.

“Come in,” you hear his unmistakable voice call out to you, and you do, albeit nervously.

Frankly, this just isn’t how you thought things would play out. Out of all the places you thought this conversation would happen, the tavern never really crossed your mind. . . But, you can’t say it shocks you. Diluc is pragmatic, and he did say that he wouldn’t make you wait any longer than what was necessary for him to work through his feelings. Maybe the suddenness of it all is just a reflection of his promise, much as the unconventional location.

As you step inside, you quickly realize that you’re the only person there, —aside from Diluc himself, of course. All of the seats are barren, and the bar doesn’t seem as if it’s been used.

“Good evening,” he says, —a greeting he would likely give to any other patron of the tavern.

“Good evening,” you parrot, questions playing on the tip of your tongue.

You can’t find the courage to ask them now. Everything feels oddly peaceful, despite your personal, internal qualms, and for one odd reason or another, you’d like to keep it that way. The atmosphere is bittersweet, much like Diluc himself. As you think that, you bite back a giggle.

“Take a seat,” he requests, gesturing to one of the stools in front of him. “I’ll mix you a drink. On the house, of course.”

“Alright,” you nod, doing as he says.

All of this feels strange, but you don’t see why obliging him would do any harm. It doesn’t hurt you to be this close to him, a countertop away from his arms. It’s always been like this. . . Maybe you’re much more used to it than you ever realized, and that revelation comes as an almost comforting sadness.

You watch passively as Diluc makes a drink for you. It doesn’t seem to be anything complicated, but you catch a sweet scent from the ingredients. He moves like this is something he’s been doing for the entirety of his life, never missing a beat. . . Like a machine. It dawns on you that Diluc has always been a little robotic, even from the very first time you crossed paths. In the beginning, his bluntness wasn’t always welcome, but as you grew to know him, it became consolatory. If nothing else, you knew that Diluc would never be the one to comfort you with lies.

In the midst of your reminiscing, he slides a cup across the counter to you. The liquid inside is a bright, cheerful color; a yellowy-orange that kisses the rim gently. Your gaze flickers from the drink to Diluc.

“What is this?” You ask, bringing it to your lips for a sip.

“A Gray Valley Sunset,” he answers, “—simple fruit punch.”

It hits your tongue with a sweet, tangy flavor. There’s no layers to the taste, and you have to admit that it’s painfully fitting for someone like him. What you see is what you get.

“I like it,” you smile softly.

“I’m glad,” he replies, making his way from around the bar to where you sit, taking a seat right beside you.

“When I was young, my father had me mix a drink for him,” Diluc begins, and you resign yourself to listening, taking small sips of the drink he prepared for you as you do so.

“No details, no instructions. . . He just laid ingredients out and told me to make something. Looking back, I think he just wanted to test my creativity, —see what I could come up with. In the end, I made a glass of fruit punch not much unlike that,” he gestures to the cup in your hand.

The fact that he made this drink for you now warms your heart. Even if he’s served thousands of them ordered from the tavern menu by now, you feel like this glass is special.

“Back then, I was young. Innocent. And though I thought I’d grown up long ago, your words the other night threw me so off balance that I felt I’d regressed to that little child again for the very first time.”

A chord of guilt strikes at your heartstrings.

“For the first time in a long while, I didn’t know how to fix something. I didn’t know how to make this better. I’ve thought about it ever since that night, and I’d love to say that I have all the answers now, but the truth is that I. . . Feel lost when it comes to this. Like the ending point is always moving, and I don’t know how to reach it in time,” Diluc goes on.

You want to say something, but you don’t know what. You also don’t want to interrupt this moment, where Diluc is showing you both strength and bravery in the form of unadulterated vulnerability.

“So, to compensate, I brought you here,” he offers up a barely-there smile that’s laced with sadness, but all the emotions reach his eyes for what feels like the very first time.

“Making drinks is like second nature to me by now. I know I can manage that. I wanted to take small steps this time, —thinking maybe slower strides would win the race for me. I made you a drink, and then I took a leap, and I told you a little story about me and my past that you’ve never heard before. Bridging the gap, I guess,” he lets himself laugh, though it sounds a bit bitter to you.

“I really appreciate that,” you finally speak up, “—truly.”

His gaze locks on yours, unblinking. This is an expression you never thought you’d get to see on Diluc’s face. . . Almost childlike, but endearingly so.

“I appreciate you listening,” he reaches out, placing a large hand on your knee.

“And if I may, I’d like to tell you something else before you go home.”

“Of course,” you nod, “I’m all ears.”

All ears, and all heart; throbbing in your chest like it’s thirty seconds from bursting.

“I don’t know what way is right or wrong with these kinds of things,” he elaborates, “but for you, I’ll do it all. Whatever you need. I’m poor with words, but I hope my actions can speak for me going forward. . . If you’ll have me, I want to love you.”

You cover the hand resting on your knee with your own, giving him a sheepish smile as you fight tears. If you speak, your voice is sure to crack, so you settle for a nod.

𖦹. ━ CHILDE !!

Childe has been gone for quite some time now. Where he went, you haven’t the faintest clue. . . You rarely do. It’s just how he is, —swift as the winds of Mondstadt. He lives and breathes by his own rules, plays by unconventional means, and you love him not in spite of it all, but because of it. Maybe there’s something to be said about the unhearable, something to be felt in the untouchable, that Childe embodies all too well. He’s the wild that exists within us all, emerging from the darkness and living in the light with reckless abandon.

He’s enchanting, for better or worse.

There’s a certain enticement that comes from the chase. But Childe is likely chasing fairytales, and you’re chasing him, which might as well be the same thing, you suppose. Even now, as you sit below a starry sky alone, you know it’s almost foolish. He never promised you anything, and yet here you are, waiting for him like a worm on a hook, wriggling around below the water in hopes a fish might be intrigued enough to take a bite.

A sigh escapes your lips as you watch the sky, clouds drifting slowly along the inky expanse above. It’s the third night in a row. He could be a thousand miles away for all you know, but this spot makes you feel close to him, —makes you wonder if he’s out there right now, looking up at the same sky, thinking about you too.

You think about the way he looks at you, curious and calm, like you’re interesting and he wants to know all of what goes on inside your mind. But he never asks.

“Y/n?” His voice rings out from behind you, sending a shockwave through your body.

As you turn around, you half-expect for no one to be there. It wouldn’t have been the first time you heard his voice echo through your mind in a way that felt just a smidge too real. This time is different, though. There he stands with a surprised expression, a few small cuts littering the skin of his face.

“C-Childe,” you breathe, an equally shocked look painting your own face in turn, “what are you doing here? And where have you been?”

It’s the first time you’ve asked. Before, all you needed to know was that he was away, and that he was back now. For how long, who knows, but he was there in the moment, and that’s what counted. Now, however, everything feels like it’s changed, and you’d do anything to know all the details of his expeditions, —you’d give the world to see the world through his eyes.

“I could ask you the same,” he replies, slipping that mask back on.

Not literally, of course, but figuratively. That mask he wears, charming and slick, suave enough to win your heart, but not enough to keep it. No, the mask doesn’t set you aflame. He does. The real face of Childe that he covers as to not let those he encounters know that he too has feelings, and dreams of unattainable things.

“It’s late,” he adds, “shouldn’t you be home?”

You shrug.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you answer plainly, but your heart is racing in the cavern of your chest, and all you want to do is hold him close and let his warmth sink into you. “And I like it here. It’s calming.”

It feels empty when I’m alone, though, you think; but don’t dare to say it.

Even if you don’t, Childe looks at you like he knows what’s written on the tip of your tongue, —like he can taste it without ever having kissed you. He does that often, and now, you just wish he’d do it if for nothing more than confirmation.

“Well, I’m not complaining,” he notes, taking his place beside you on the grass.

Now that he’s closer, you can see his wounds better. By no means are they serious, but dried blood litters their outlines, and you can’t stop yourself from reaching out to touch his face gently. He doesn’t complain or look at you with confusion in his eyes. His face remains lax as you examine him, —not just the wounds, but him. He’s incredibly beautiful, with eyes that sparkle like noctilius jade.

“You could have cleaned them at the very least,” you mumble, hand parting from his cheek.

Before it falls to your side, he’s grasping at your wrist; motions defying his relaxed body language. He holds your wrist with the same intensity that he wields swords of water and aims to shoot his bow, but softer, —much softer, and a million times more affectionate.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” he whispers. “I was getting used to the idea of someone caring enough to do it in the first place.”

Your lips part as your eyes widen slightly, but you say nothing.

“I don’t want to mislead you. I’m not some prince, or a knight in shining armor. . . I get high off risks and sometimes, I might not be here when you need me. I won’t always be around to help you pick up the pieces after a hard day,” Childe says.

“I can’t promise you the universe, and I can’t bring you the stars in a bottle. I can’t give you everything you’ve ever wished for, and I won’t give you hope by making false claims to you that I know I can’t uphold. In truth, I don’t really know what it is that I can offer. . . All I really know is that I’ll love you, and I’ll do it like the world is ending if you give me the chance.”

You hadn’t been expecting that, but you can’t say it’s surprising. When it comes to him, you’ve never really known what to expect at all, not ever. It’s not stability that’s drawn you to Childe all this time. Security isn’t what you seek, —at least not right now. At this point in your life, you’re not looking for someone to give you empty promises and vow to give you the galaxy in the palm of your hand. You just want to know he’d seek you if reality was collapsing.

No need for goodbyes, just a million hellos.

[idy-ll-ique]

Paparazzi.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: TOO META, m*sturbation, mentions of s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me... Y/N Y/L/N writes Marvel fanfictions. One day, Sebastian stumbles upon her account and, unable to help himself, reads all the stuff she has written about him. He didn't mean to fall so hard for her but he does. How can he not? She has shown him parts of himself that he never even knew existed.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay so a few weeks ago I read a similar (but dark) fanfic and I really wanted to write a softer version of it... Enjoy!

---

Same old, boring routine.

Y/N hit post and slumped against the headrest of her bed, sighing. She waited; a minute, then two passed and she noticed that someone had liked her post. She smiled to herself as she kept her phone away. Though boring, she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Y/N… well, she was a university student first and foremost but she was also a writer.

Being a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she had started writing fanfictions a few years ago. She posted them on Tumblr, where her blog, though not very well-known, stood out enough for her posts to get around 800-1000 likes per post. She loved it; she loved writing, she loved posting her stories and especially, she loved the feedback.

Sometimes people were rude, but most times, the reviews she got were fantastic. She read each and every one of them, smiling goofily as people freaked out over her fanfictions. It warmed her heart. A smile automatically blooming on her face, Y/N lay down on the bed and decided to go to sleep, it being almost 3 am.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was up at the same time, tossing and turning in his bed, restless.

Sebastian sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. He drank some water and lay down again, closing his eyes but it was like sleep was mad at him. Refused to be anywhere near him. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone from the nightstand, deciding to go through Instagram, hoping he'd finally fall asleep to the glare of the screen.

As he logged into his account, he skipped the activity page and went straight to the explore page. Bored, he continued scrolling until his eyes landed on a specific photo. And the breath escaped his lungs when he clicked on it; the woman in the picture was absolutely gorgeous. He just couldn't resist going to her page, smiling widely when he read her bio.

It gave him her basic information; her name, her age, the university she attended. But what caught his eye was the link below the bio. My Marvel Fanfictions Master List. Marvel fanfictions? She was a writer? Smirking, he clicked on the link and it took him to Tumblr. Of course, he'd heard of the site, but didn't have an account on there. At 3 am, his mind sure wasn't working right.

A post popped up on the screen, the same master list she had mentioned earlier. And his eyes bulged out of their sockets; damn, those are a lot of fanfictions. He went through the whole thing, smirking again when he noticed that she had written the most fanfictions about him. Not Bucky Barnes, no, Sebastian Stan.

He clicked on the first one. The date of posting was way back, in 2019. He started reading; nothing about it felt weird to him; he was intrigued, if anything. And as he continued reading, he couldn't help but imagine her being in the stead of the female protagonist. Her, the writer. The woman whose picture had made him end up reading in the first place.

When he finished the story, his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Wow, she really has a way with words. And he had also noticed how in the author's note, she used a lot of slang but reading the story had made him realize that she had an amazing, extensive vocabulary. He went back to the master list and clicked on the latest post under his name.

Posted: 15 minutes ago.

His breath hitched in his throat when he read the warnings: there was going to be sexual intercourse in this one. For one moment, he hesitated; did he really want to read this? "Oh fuck it," he huffed and scrolled, starting to read. The more he read, the more his shaft twitched in his pants. He wasn't really like that during… but oh damn, he wasn't complaining.

"Oh, Seb…"

His hand slid down and he rubbed himself through his boxers, unable to take his eyes off the text in front of him. His strokes got harder and faster as the sex got steamier. "Ungh, I'm gonna cum—" And he suddenly came in his boxers, groaning. Slumping down on the bed, he quickly finished reading the rest of it, going back to the master list.

He took a screenshot with the account's name in it and then went back to her Instagram account to take another screenshot. Keeping his phone away, he slipped out of his boxers, cleaned himself and pulled the covers on top of him, finally feeling tired enough to fall asleep.

---

Y/N was walking across the campus of her university, going to the cafeteria when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Taking it out, she opened Tumblr to read the message someone had sent her just then.

his-username: Hi there! I was binging your account last night, you write really well

your-username: Omg thank you!!!! I really appreciate it, I love getting feedback! 🥺❤

his-username: You're welcome! Especially your latest post, that was really good ;)

your-username: hehe 😈 glad you liked it!

Smiling widely, she kept her phone away and continued walking, not knowing that the person who had texted her was the same man she had written about. Sebastian smiled to himself when he read her text. After getting up in the morning, the first thing he had done was install Tumblr on his phone. Then he made an account for himself.

Figuring out the app was easy; he found out that there was an option to keep your liked posts and the accounts you followed hidden, and selected it immediately. No one needed to know what he did on the app. Then he went back to her account, pressed the follow button and started binge-reading her fanfictions again. Last night had he read only two, and that had left him wanting more.

Funny how much things can change in a night. He liked and reblogged all her posts without a second thought; he even read all her Bucky Barnes posts. She understood his character so well, put him on what he thought was an undeserved pedestal while writing about him. Some of the stories were AUs, which he found out stood for Alternate Universes. Mostly mobster or mafia stuff.

He had the day off, and he spent the entire time cooped up in his apartment, on his bed, reading. The more he read, the more he started fawning over her, over the version of him that she put out to the world. Dominating, suave and just perfect. He loved it. At the end of the day, he decided to text her again, hoping she wouldn't think he was weird or find out the truth.

his-username: do you wanna be friends, maybe? I'm new to the app, don't really have any friends here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That was a lie, he knew Mark Ruffalo had an active Tumblr account. But it's not like he could tell him.

your-username: Yes sure!!!! I was also thinking of making some friends on this app lol

his-username: You don't have any on here? But you've been here for years, haven't you?

your-username: haha yeah, but I don't really reach out to people much. Sometimes people leave their feedbacks on my posts, text me but that's that

his-username: Ohhh

his-username: well, let's start with names. Mine's Sebastian

your-username: Really?????? omg that's so cool lmaooooooo (didn't think you were a boy but 😳👀)

his-username: Not a boy, I'm a man 😤😂

your-username: 🤣 im y/n, btw

his-username: Y/N, that's a nice name

your-username: thank you!!!! So, what do you do?

his-username: nothing really that interesting, I'm in theatre

your-username: theatre is nice! I'm studying at [university] in New York lmao

his-username: Wait you're in New York? So am I!

your-username: ASDFHKSHKGF that's awesome!!! also I noticed that you've been going through my account the whole day 😏 notifications upon notifications keeping my phone busy

his-username: Oopsie?

your-username: 😂😂 I really don't mind, it was great! Despite the amount of likes on my posts, I only have a few loyal followers lmao gaining one more felt nice

your-username: You a big fan of Sebastian Stan? Cuz I noticed that you were only reading his and Bucky's fics 👀

Sebastian's face heated up.

his-username: kinda yeah 🤷🏻‍♂️😁

your-username: Cool cool cool, I'm a big fan of his too!!!! also got a crush on him but whatever 😳

Sebastian smirked at his phone. A crush on him, huh? That… was acceptable. He suddenly felt his cocky side coming out; the one she described in nearly all her fanfictions.

his-username: wouldn't blame ya, I mean, look at him. You have also written the most fics about him and Bucky

your-username: right????? damn that man has raised my standards. Anyway, I gtg now, I have to finish a paper before midnight. ttyl!

his-username: Bye! 👋🏻

He kept his phone away and took in a deep breath. This was the most fun he had had in years, and he was not letting her go so easy. He realized he was quickly falling for her; rather unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. Look at her. She looks like a goddamn angel, writes like one, makes him feel like one, do you really expect him not to fall for her? That's insane.

---

Months passed by like a breeze. Y/N and Sebastian had become very good friends, and he knew his way around words just enough to keep her from finding out his identity while not lying to her. Y/N also appreciated his friendship, because he was the one to whom she could rant about her most favorite man in the world— Sebastian Stan.

Sometimes, she thought about how weird of a coincidence it was that her new friend and the actor shared the same names, but then she used to brush it off; that was a common name, right? They talked for hours on end; Sebastian (her friend, not the actor) was extremely witty, smart and fun to talk to, she had to admit. Sebastian felt the same way.

His feelings had worsened. Y/N entirely owned his heart now. Somedays, he'd just go on Instagram, go to her account— her username memorized by him— and stare at her photos until he grew tired; he'd never get tired of looking at her beautiful face but his stiff body afterwards begged to differ. She was just so Elysian. He longed for the moment when he could meet her in real life.

His personality had also changed majorly, and people had caught on. Especially his Marvel co-stars, who knew him to be introverted, shy and, in Anthony Mackie's words, "boring". They were surprised at his sudden change in attitude; he knew his worth and Y/N had helped tremendously in finding it. Now, all those adjectives that she used in her fanfictions fit him perfectly.

Sebastian was never tempted to read fanfictions about himself from authors other than Y/N. No, he only loved her work. He was sure no one else could write as beautifully as she did, he was her #1 fan. Y/N even sent him funny Marvel memes she found on the app and he used to enjoy them heartily; God, the others have no idea what they're missing out on. Our fans are awesome.

Everything was going well.

Until one day.

Sebastian was getting bored at home, so he decided to go to the nearby library to clear his mind. He had read not one book in the past few months, hung up on Y/N's fanfictions. At this point, he was obsessed with her and he knew it. It was nothing dark, per se, it was— it was similar to how Y/N was attracted to Sebastian. How she was a fan of his work.

Just the same. He was a fan of her work in the same way. Just how she was attracted to him, he was attracted to her. Walking into the library that he visited often, he gave the librarian a smile and ventured further into the dark place. He checked his watch; the library closed at 12 am, it was currently 9:30 pm.

Not many people were around, heck, nobody was around. He thought himself to be all alone until he heard it. A sigh, coming from a few aisles away. He walked in that direction and peeked around the corner, freezing when he saw the other person. Y/N? Her books were strewn all across the table as she sat alone at the booth, rubbing her temples.

"You okay?"

She looked up and her breath caught in her throat. I'm dreaming. This is not real. Now I know for a fact that Sebastian Stan is not standing in front of me, asking me if I'm— "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I, uh— I'm— h-hi," she stammered and he almost chuckled. "Hi." She gulped visibly and blinked at the table, not meeting his eyes.

"Can I have a seat?" He wants to sit with me?! "Y-Yes, sure, sir," she blurted out and he easily slid into the booth next to her. "Hey, please, call me Sebastian. What's your name?" He gave her a friendly smile, even though all he wanted to do was push her back into the booth and kiss her wildly. His shaft twitched just by thinking about it; Y/N was a thousand times more beautiful in person.

"I'm Y/N, it's very nice to meet you, I'm… I'm a fan," she admitted, playing with the ring she wore on her left thumb. I'm your fan too, sweetheart, the biggest one. "Y/N, nice name. You come here often? I haven't really seen you around." She shook her head. "Oh no no, I moved to this part of the city just a week ago, this is my first time here. The library is cozy," she shrugged, easing out of her tense position.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, I know, this place is awesome. Got all my favorite books here," he chuckled and she smiled at him. "What's all this?" A groan left her lips. "Ugh, stupid university work. I have to write a book report but I don't even know what to write about." He smiled gently. "Well, I have a few favorite books, would you like some suggestions?"

"Oh, please! Tell me!"

He started listing some of his favorite works and Y/N noted the names down until he said the last name. At that, she froze. That's the name of my latest— She looked up but he had a smile on his face. "Oh, and the last one is by my favorite author." He took a pause. "Y/N Y/L/N." She froze completely, staring at the man with her jaw dropped.

Sebastian grinned. "We finally meet, Y/N, I've been waiting for months." Her mouth opened and closed several times as she recalled every interaction she had had with her online best friend— scratch that— her celebrity crush. All the times she had confessed her love for Sebastian Stan, all the dirty and inappropriate memes that she'd sent him…

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she exhaled shakily. "It was you," she croaked out, "On Tumblr, the account— I'm so sorry—" Sebastian frowned in confusion when she blinked back sudden tears, a few still rolling down her cheeks as shame replaced embarrassment. "Y/N, please don't cry…" She looked up at him, his figure blurry due to her tears.

"You've read everything, haven't you? I just— I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable—" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. Y/N couldn't hug back, though she appreciated the hug especially since it came from him. "You don't know how much you mean to me, doll," he mumbled into her shoulder, using the nickname she often used in the stories she wrote about him. He grew accustomed to it easily.

"Huh?"

He pulled away to wipe her tears. "It was an accident," he admitted, "But I stumbled onto your Instagram account from my explore page. Then I clicked on your account, saw that you wrote Marvel fanfictions and I just couldn't resist the urge to read what you had written. Blame it on 3 am me, to be honest. You're a great writer, and I was immediately drawn to your works. They're awesome.

"They've helped me so much in the past few months. You see this changed attitude that everyone's been talking about lately? All because of you, sweetheart. I'm sorry for keeping my identity secret, but after reading your works, I knew I had to get closer to you. I made the Tumblr account just for you, just so I could talk to you. I'm sorry for lying, but thank you."

Y/N dumbfoundedly stared at him for a few moments, her heart beat getting steady with each thump. Here was a man she admired, loved more than anyone else in the world, telling her that he harbored the same feelings for her. How crazy was that?! Not trusting her words, she simply pulled him into another hug. Sebastian wrapped his arms tight around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Can I kiss you, doll?"

She slowly pulled away from him and nodded, shyly biting her lip. Grinning at the endearing gesture, Sebastian cupped her face and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss grew hungry in a matter of seconds, and Y/N responded just as eagerly. His hands slid down to her waist and tugged on it, pulling her on his lap. She straddled his thighs as they continued kissing.

"Fuck," he groaned when they finally pulled away from each other, out of breath and panting. "You see what you do to me, doll?" Sebastian spoke huskily as he took her hand, placing it right on top of the tent that was forming in his pants. "Oh," Y/N whimpered when she felt him, the sound going straight to his shaft. "How about I take you home and we recreate some of the scenes from your stories, hm?"

"O-Okay."

"Good girl."

---

A/N: What a meta experience 🤡 Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[scenefox2003]

No, Camila is not a good mother. And here’s why.

Yes, this sounds like a very harsh statement, but hear me out. Camila, on the surface, seems like a decent and loving mother, especially when compared to say, the Blights, who are much more obviously and stereotypically terrible. But from the very beginning she displays some VERY toxic and harmful behaviors towards her daughter Luz. Her sort of parenting, even though she has good intentions, can do some horrifying and long lasting damage to the mental health and self esteem of a child. How do I know? My mother was exactly like Camila. And like Luz, I still loved her. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t do some serious harm. And those same things are happening to Luz right now.

First up, let’s state the obvious. Luz is neurodivergent. This isn’t even just coding, either. Dana Terrace has outright stated this is her intention. And like many neurodivergent kids and teens, she often gets in trouble in school without realizing why. The things she does are still bad, of course, and she still needs to face the consequences of her actions and learn why they’re not okay. The first two things she does (going a bit too far in the school play and doing that freaky eye thing at cheer tryouts) aren’t even that bad, but her bringing spiders, snakes, and fireworks to school are obviously huge issues. Those last three are obviously cartoonishly crazy acts that have been played up by the writers for humor and to get the idea across, but even if we take this all at face value Camila’s handling of the situation is STILL HORRIBLE. Notice what she criticizes here. Not the fact that her daughter brought dangerous animals and explosives to school, but her love of fantasy. Yes, they’re related, but Luz’s love of fantasy can still exist without her breaking school rules. Not only that, but taking Luz’s neurodivergency into account here, The Good Witch Azura and other fantasy tales are clearly a special interest or hyperfixation of hers. Her love of Azura goes much farther than that of a normal neurotypical fangirl, she uses this character to help navigate through her life. She chooses to stay on the boiling aisles because Eda and King remind her of characters from the book. She chooses to take the risk and try to befriend her rival, Amity, because that’s what Azura did. Even in season two, when she’s talking about her future, she states Eda and Azura as her role models. Not to infantilize Luz (trust me, that’s the last thing I want to do) but this level of connection to a fictional character is unusual for a fourteen year old who just really likes something. Luz clearly uses this character as guidance in a world she doesn’t understand (which funny enough, is both the boiling aisles and earth) and what does Camila do?

She forces her to LITERALLY throw it away. Right before she has to go to a scary and uncomfortable place for THREE MONTHS, that SHE FORCED HER TO GO TO. That’s the time when Luz would need that special interest the most. It isn’t just a book she loves. It’s a coping mechanism, a genuinely harmless and positive part of her life, that she is shamed for. Being shamed for an interest or hyperfixation is such a terrible feeling I can’t even begin to describe it. But if you’re neurodivergent, you know what I’m talking about. What makes it even worse is that Luz literally cannot control what she loves. She can’t just find a new hobby, not that she should even have to, because when you have a special interest or hyperfixation, that thing becomes such a huge part of your life. And most of the time, it’s such an amazing and wonderful thing. And for Luz, it clearly is. Azura LITERALLY LED HER TO FORMING THE STRONGEST RELATIONSHIPS IN HER LIFE, with Eda, King, and Amity. That’s huge, considering Luz clearly has a lot of trouble forming friendships back in the human world. Luz’s love of fantasy is not a problem. Her “weirdness” is not a problem. But that’s what Camila sends her to camp for. To change her interests, her personality, not her actions. That, and for something even worse.

This line hurts my soul. I don’t even have to explain why this is an awful thing for a mother to say to her daughter, it speaks for itself. But I’m gonna explain anyway. Luz doesn’t have any friends. But that’s clearly not her fault. Just look at what happens when she goes to the boiling aisles and FINALLY meets like minded people. She makes tons of friends without changing at all, because Luz is a genuinely good person with a great personality. She’s kind, excitable, and always eager to help others. This is INCLUDED with her “weirdness”, and often directly related to it. Luz is not the only weird person that exists, even in the human world. I had pretty much no close friends as a kid, then I switched to a school full of open minded (and many queer and neurodivergent) people, and now I have TONS of friends who are just like me, who like the same things, that I didn’t have to change myself at all for. This is how real healthy friendships work. And the sad thing is, Luz wouldn’t even HAVE to go to the boiling aisles for this to happen! If Camila really wanted Luz to make friends, all she would have to do is send her to some sort of fantasy or roleplaying camp full of people like her who share her interests. But instead of blaming the judgy bullies for why Luz doesn’t have any friends, she blames Luz for just. Being herself and liking some unconventional stuff. This is so, SO disgusting and harmful. It can lead to so many problems, destroy yourself esteem, and ironically enough it makes it HARDER TO MAKE FRIENDS. Forcing yourself to be someone else to make someone you’re not really compatible with like you just doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. This is LITERALLY HAPPENING TO LUZ RIGHT NOW. IN THE MOST RECENT EPISODE SHE NEARLY RUINED HER CHANCE WITH AMITY BECAUSE PEOPLE HAD MADE HER FEEL WEIRD ABOUT HER INTERESTS AND PERSONALITY IN THE PAST. That’s why I’m making this post, even though I’ve thought this for a long time. The damage the human world has done to Luz is starting to show. Even after all these months of being loved for being herself and proudly being an advocate for being weird, that instinct is still there. And it lasts. For years. I’m eighteen years old, I’ve been in a supportive environment for six years now, and my parents have been fully supportive of me and my interests and quirks for two. But that instinct doesn’t go away. The deep rooted shame whenever you do something harmless that’s outside the norm, something you were directly told not to by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally doesn’t go away. And Camila, the only person Luz truly cares about, perpetuated that. And that’s truly awful. I get it. Parents aren’t always perfect. But this is beyond imperfect. It reminds me of a line from Gwendolyn in Keeping Up A-fear-ances. “Your curse is a part of you, and I love every part of you.” Camila clearly loves Luz, but she doesn’t love every part of Luz. And in order to truly love someone, you must fully love them, quirks and all. I hope we get to see Camila learn this before the show ends, but most of all I hope that the show openly states that her parenting is awful. It could save so many kids from so many years of pain and an inferiority complex.

[paper-cuts-and-fresh-bruises]

So if you’re someone like me whose a glutton for punishment, even though 3x13 definitely brought the pain with it, the whole curse thing isn’t a problem for us (obviously contingent on being resolved at some point in season 4 but anyways). But I kinda felt like making this post for those who have either not warmed up to it yet or I feel need some convincing that the finale was actually amazing, so I’m gonna address several things including those that seemed to hit a particular nerve. Oh and by the way I want to make it clear that in saying what I say I’m not trying to make it seem that you have to blindly follow a show and never have problems with it, that’s still valid, but I do however in this case feel there’s been some unfair judgement, so you can agree or disagree as much as you like but this is my side of things. (also, obligatory long post warning)

Right out the gate, we have the whole section of the episode where Nancy thought she’d killed Temperance but was actually just in a sort of snapshot of reality that Temperance planted, giving Nancy a look into what her future might be in actually killing her. To those who feel we were faked out again, and in this instance believe that the show has betrayed them, here’s how I’m gonna explain to you how they actually didn’t. In previous dreamscape type instances, yes they avoided the whole actual kissing on the lips and all else, BUT that was out of it being completely fictitious, but here? here it was as Temperance expressed whilst bragging about her fortune telling ability, to be completely realistic, with her admitting that the only part that wasn’t supposed to happen was Ace’s death (which thankfully wasn’t real there, as much as giving Temperance credit isn’t at the top of my to do list) and this is all deliberate. The writers wouldn’t put something like that in there, without serious consideration, because even though Noga Landau admitted it wasn’t necessarily the plan the entire time for this, she did say it fit the bill for their idea of heroism and sacrifice. The whole point is that we feel the same level of pain as Nancy as that metaphorical rug is pulled from under us. Seeing Nancy in place of pure joy with someone she wholehearted loves in equal measure as they do back, as Ace does back, experiencing her bliss and then her pain, which they did quite impressively well.

The other major thing I want to address is obviously the whole curse situation. Let me say that obviously it hurts my heart as much as anyone else, but on all accounts we should’ve known even more so than we might’ve been prepared for that they’d be leaving deep claw marks after this one, in my experience in the third season of any show is where they really go for it, other shows haven’t done as well, but for me personally Nancy Drew has done it better than I’ve seen it done in a long time. I mean you’ve got to hand it to them that they know where the source is when creating drama, and what’s the point of having a show if there isn’t something to create angst or any other plot propelling content. Plus, I mean they gave us canon information that Nace feel the same strong feelings for one another, and I know soulmates is a term already in circulation but you know what they’re more than that, I don’t know what would be the accurate term for that but they’re beyond soulmates. The curse is necessary (if albeit annoyingly so) in driving the slowburn these two are for us to see just how strong that connection is, plus who doesn’t love a good curse breaking arc to further drive things home. I mean imagine the angst, but also the longing looks, plus considering what the last few minutes on 3x13 showed us with the missing bodies from that cemetery, guess who might need to visit the morgue? I mean Ace did say he would just let her in. Plus with what Landau and Hsu Taylor said about Ace being immediately suspicious of Nancy’s behaviour, thinking for sure that she’s in trouble. The POTENTIAL, I’m telling you. Also you never know, maybe something else will put Nancy in danger and Ace will have to do some saving huh? (possibly making it so Nancy has to take the chance and tell Ace about the curse) that’s great material to work with.

A side thing I want to address is Nancy’s harsh words before leaving his apartment, for those who didn’t catch on, Nancy was deliberately trying to sting Ace to keep him safe and drive him away, even when he showed clear signs of not believing her, pushing for the truth about if she’s in trouble (because Ace knows her so well that she wouldn’t be so cruel as that without there being some threat where she’s trying to get others out of harms way), which is something Ace hasn’t done commonly and wouldn’t do if it weren’t vehemently concerning and something that couldn’t wait (which by the way in the instance of getting a season 4 it’s already said discussions are going to be on how he’s going to be hot on the heels of finding out who or more so what is threatening her or otherwise causing her to act that way). Especially when as we know, why would they almost kiss and then all of a sudden such hostility?. Side note I feel like that whole scene in the apartment in the real-real timeline is so underrated, I mean we have tension, angst, Nancy saying she doesn’t think Ace ever lacked anything after him saying so (his face told you just how much that meant after all he’s been through!), then saying she missed Ace, Ace addressing the fact that after a whole month of avoidance he hopes the reason is that Nancy reciprocates his feelings but is scared to say so (if only he knew why poor boy), the almost kiss! and everything after that which sets up so much. (also, I know the whole multiple soulmates conversation with Carson brings some concern, but for now it was just a conversation between Nancy and her dad where he was trying to comfort her but also bolster her with the strength to not let her fate be steered by somebody else, I don’t think the showrunner/writers are solidly looking to pair Nancy with anyone else right now)

Quick in between point I want to make, I know this has been discussed over and over, but remember that as far as the curse goes, we might want Nancy to just tell Ace about it, but as the showrunners have stated, and really it’s pretty straightforward to understand without them saying so, that Nancy DOES NOT KNOW how the curse functions in and out, she got enough of a clue from the barometer when it broke as a warning when Nancy forgot about it for a second, so as frustrating as you might find that and as much of a risk as you might be willing to take, Nancy understandably isn't even with the price it holds over her.

One other thing I want to talk about here is going back to those last few minutes of 3x13. With the hopes of a season 4 (also hopefully back to our Wednesday slot and 18 episodes), the showrunners said that that part was set up with the promise of not only sort going back to their roots of season 1/ season 2 stuff, but also we’ll have a bit of a pallet cleanser amongst other aspects they’re looking to explore, so even with what is set up in the Nace angst department, they’re not looking to torture us forever and they haven’t forgotten the new mystery aspect we love, but again good television such as Nancy Drew is has to draw you in. They did really well with a shorter episode order which was out of their control, and I at least think that if this doesn’t end up being your favourite season, that it’s at least in no way something that could be even considered a weak piece of television, I certainly don’t. 

Anyways, that’s me dumping a bit of brain rot on you, I might make more posts, but if I don’t I’ll be keeping an eye on anything anyone else posts, because there’s a wonderful amount of lovely people on here making content, plus twitter of course (these sites have their good spots). Until further notice let’s still spread the message of #renewnancydrew and annoy the hell out of the CW to get more seasons out of them (I’m very optimistic right now and will continue as such), I’ve heard that any announcement of another season may be likely to be announced in the next month or two, so lets keep it up till then.

Here’s the season 3 finale interview below if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s got some good content to keep you going till the CW gets their act together.

https://ew.com/tv/nancy-drew-season-3-finale-spoilers/

[kpopxx]

Spy Games [Chapter 1] : More Than It Seems

Characters: Twice Momo, Male Reader

4579 words

Authors Note: This is literally the first fiction writing I have done since I was a little kid writing stories about a town full of hamburgers. I was inspired to try my hand at writing by the plethora of amazing kpop smut writers out there right now, but by @lockefanfic​, @nsfwtwicecatcher​, @nsfwflint​, and @ggidolsmuts​ in particular. If there are any similarities between my writing and theirs, please forgive me as I’ve spent more hours than I’d care to admit “researching” their work. 

One thing that amazes me is how the hell everyone cranks out thousands of words with such frequency, as this post isn’t even 5k and it took forever to write. I can’t begin to explain how much respect I have for all the authors out there who can write so much and maintain such high levels of quality.

As a new writer, I welcome any and all feedback! Feel free to drop me a line if you have any critiques, or if you just want to chat!

***

“Coming up on the target now.” 

“Roger that, remember the office is on the top floor. Let us know when you’re inside. And remember, no elevators...” teases your handler, Choa.

“Thanks for the reminder,” you reply sarcastically.

You survey the skyscraper against the night sky--it would be impressive if it weren’t one of a hundred just like it downtown Seoul--and wonder what you had done to deserve getting the short end of the stick. Of course, you knew there was a reason to avoid the elevators: they sat directly in front of the building’s concierge and the cameras in the lobby, while the stairwell lay in a remote part of the first floor. The logic behind your impending hike didn’t make the reality any less abhorrent.

“Meanwhile, Seolhyun gets to infiltrate an organization in the Caymans. Just my fucking luck.” you grumble to yourself.

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby,” says Choa, reminding you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You sneak past the lobby and towards the back of the floor you find the entrance to the stairwell in a poorly lit area.

“Beginning my climb.” you report, shaking out your legs as you prepare to go up.

“Sir, I-I’m getting some interference over comms,” chimes in the timid voice of the girl you knew to be your newest team member, Yoo Jeongyeon. “It could just be local chatter, but I want to make sure it’s not someone trying to listen in.”

“Probably nothing to worry about, but we’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to worry about.” Choa assures you. 

As you climb up the stairs, you wonder why anyone would want to listen in on this particular mission. This was a run-of-the-mill operation to investigate money laundering at an accounting firm. You’d infiltrated foreign governments, broken into and bugged the offices of billionaire CEOs, and tailed enemy agents. You could understand people wanting to hear those comms, but this? Either someone wanted something to listen to as a sleep aid, or this mission was more interesting than it looked.

A tip had come in through one of the new girls at the Intel Desk reporting that there was some fishy activity related to organized crime going on at the accounting firm. This was routine and you’d gone on dozens of similar recon missions before: break in, find suspicious intel, get out. But if someone wanted so badly to hear what was going on, the new girl may have stumbled onto something worthy of a promotion. Hayoung, you think her name was. Her chestnut, shoulder-length hair along with her well-endowed physique reminded you of a young mother, but her mature beauty belied her young age. You had caught yourself more than a few times fantasizing about her in your off hours…

You stop mid-way in the stairwell, scolding yourself for losing focus. Too often over the course of the last year you found yourself fantasizing about the women in your life. Sure, before the incident with Eunha you had sexual thoughts about your coworkers--you were surrounded by beautiful women, after all. But recently you noticed that your life was increasingly preoccupied with sex: both in your thoughts and the real-life exploits you carried out. 

Much longer than a few minutes later, you reach the 63rd floor out of breath and sweating, wishing more than ever that it was you and not Seolhyun lounging on the beach. You take a moment to compose yourself before peeking out into the office floor to see if the coast is clear.

“We may have a problem, boss. Jeongyeon looked into the comms disturbance and someone much more sophisticated than the average joe is definitely trying to tap in,” Choa says. “Jeongyeon’s kicking their ass right now blocking their access, but there’s only so much she can do alone. Eventually we’re going to lose control of this channel.”

“Dammit. I knew something was off with this op,” you grumble. “If they want to listen in to whatever I find, it must be important. We’ll go dark. Recon says this should be a quick in and out anyways. I’ll tag you once I’m out.”

“Be careful. Signal us if anything goes wrong. Just don’t do anything stupid.” replies Choa. 

“What do you think they pay me all this money for?” you tease, wanting to put her nerves at ease. “See you on the other side. Over and out.”

You could hear the concern in her voice. Even though keeping you safe was part of her job, you knew she cared about you. You also knew as well as she did that anything could go wrong even in the five minutes it would take you to break in, especially when it appeared that someone knew exactly what you were doing.

You switch off your comms link and head out the door and into the office.

It looked exactly as you expected--rows and rows of non-descript cubicles, with a princely office lined with glass walls occupying the far corner. Jeongyeon had retrieved the floor plan by hacking into the building’s security database earlier in the week, and you knew after her effort tonight in detecting and fending off the comms interference that Choa would want you to acknowledge the work the new girl had been putting in. She certainly was more skilled than the five previous team members you’d fired after Eunha, but you found it difficult to bring yourself to praise her. The Ops Officer position she occupied was a sore point for you, after all.

You deftly pick the lock on the corner office door and immediately sit down in front of the terminal on the desk, logging in with the security bypass Jeongyeon drew up. 

Again your thoughts drift to Eunha. Eunha was your longtime Ops Officer--highly skilled, you trusted her more than anyone. It also helped that she was your fiance. It made you sad to think about her; about what could have been, what should have been. Over the past year, you were constantly reminded of her absence by the utter incompetence of her replacements. You suppose it was nice that at the very least, Jeongyeon didn’t give you many opportunities to bemoan her performance in the same way--to remind you of Eunha.

You shake your head, compelling yourself to rise out of your funk and get on with the mission.

As you scroll through files, you stop on one with a familiar signature. Reading its contents, your eyes open wider--suddenly you understand why someone would be interested to listen in to your communications. You quickly save the file to your flash drive and stand up to leave, only to be startled by a figure in the doorway.

“Care to tell me what’s on that?” comes a familiar voice from the darkness that you knew to be Hirai Momo’s. Momo was an agent for a foreign espionage agency--you had as friendly a rivalry as you could have when working for different governments. 

“What was the point of trying to hack our comms if you were just going to show up and ask me that?”

“I had no intention of coming until you decided to ghost your girlfriends,” teases Momo. “Besides, I like showing you how much better I am at sneaking around.”

Momo flicks on the light and she comes into focus. The Japanese government made a good decision when they hired her, you think. She was built for the job of a seductive spy. Her perfectly toned legs had a lovely sheen all the way up to her short skirt, while her cleavage suggested that her tits were ready to burst out of her tight, patterned blouse. Where most of your attention was drawn, however, was her lustrous blue hair, which fell to her shoulders.

“I may actually need your help with this, once you see what’s on it,” you say, nodding your head at the flash drive.

“Oh, so you’re willing to give it to me? I thought I was going to have to fuck you for it,” she says sarcastically. You knew behind the humor was more than a nugget of truth, though. Sex had been the primary vehicle for information trading with Momo over the years. You decide to test your reading of the situation.

“Just because I need your help doesn’t mean I’m giving it for free…”

Momo brings her thumb to her mouth and bites gently as she ponders your not-so-subtle proposition. She takes her turn to look you up and down, making you feel more than a little self conscious in her gaze of judgment. After so many years in the dangerous world of espionage, there were only a handful women who could make you feel so small. Then again, Momo was no regular girl. 

Once she’s satisfied she has properly appraised your worth, Momo lets go of her thumb and straightens her blouse.

“Fine,” she says matter-of-factly, “let’s get to it,” unbuttoning her blouse as she walks towards you.

You are surprised by the lack of fight she put up, but you thought it best to keep that to yourself. Her tone reminds you of a business meeting--that is, if you hadn’t seen her pull her top off as she approached you. She sits in your lap on the chair, wrapping her arms around your neck as you meet her lips for a kiss. Momo’s mouth was familiar to you, introduced to you many times throughout your career. It seemed like every time you ran across her you had sex. One thing you adored about your relationship with her was that it was absolutely without strings attached. You fucked for work, but just because it was part of the job didn’t mean you both didn’t enjoy it. 

Momo, however, was loath to admit the pleasure she got out of her liaisons with you. Call it pride, call it being professional, whatever--Momo refused to act like sex with you was anything other than work, no different than working in a spreadsheet.

You feel her reach down to your pants, quickly unbuttoning them as she sinks to her knees in front of you. You smirk--her eagerness to please you betrayed her air of ambivalence.

Momo wastes no time getting down to business. You are certain the Japanese trained her very well in tender foreplay, but it seems she doesn’t care much for subtlety at the moment. Instead, she utilizes a more direct method to extract your pleasure--one that must have required its own fair share of training--as she spits on your cock before immediately forcing it as deeply in her mouth as she can take it. One, two, three bobs is all it takes for her to reach the base of your cock, her nose buried in your pelvis.

“Fuuuck me, that’s good,” you groan as you hold her head in place for several seconds, and Momo replies in turn with a cough that spits a healthy serving of saliva on to your cock. You release your grip on the back of her head to give her a chance to breathe, but she surprises you when she simply continues to work her mouth on your increasingly saliva-drenched cock, swirling her tongue around your base. Most of the other women you had slept with in recent months would be gasping for air by now, but Momo’s demeanor was cool, calm, and collected. Almost as if she was reading your mind, Momo paused her slurping and pulled her mouth off your shaft--but not forgetting to continue stroking it with achingly deft corkscrew motions.

“What’s the matter? Girls in your department not able to take care of your cock like a real woman?” Momo clicks her tongue and grins. “I’ve told you for years, you’d never be treated so poorly if you came to work for a professional outfit like ours.”

“Shut up and suck my cock.”

Momo shrugs, and gets back to the task at hand. Slobbering even more as she takes you into your mouth again, you pause to thank your lucky stars that you had a job that paid you in part to fuck women like Momo. You gaze upon her face, which has become just as messy as your cock. Momo’s sloppy blowjob has not only left liberal amounts of spit on your cock, but on her face as well--with strands of her blue hair plastered to her cheeks. Even though you thought it impossible, you feel your cock get harder at the sight of Momo’s messy face.

For several minutes, Momo continues inhaling your cock as you find yourself nearing the point of no return, you yank Momo’s head off your throbbing cock in order to prolong your session. A bit too forcefully, it seems, as Momo falls over onto her side.

“What the fuck!” yelps Momo as she picks herself back up, glaring at you. “I suck your cock and you thank me by throwing me on the ground?

“I didn’t mean to, I’m just not ready to cum yet. We both know you would’ve ignored me if I had asked you to stop.”

“I guess you’re right about that,” Momo replies sheepishly. You knew from previous run-ins with her that she loved nothing more than swallowing cum. Even though you had just denied her that favor, you were already thinking about how to make it up to her in a few minutes.

“How about I repay your kindness? Get up on the table and let me eat you.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. I’ll get up on the table, but you’re going to fuck me.”

“Someone’s eager to see what’s in this thumb drive,” you tease, inadvertently reminding yourself that this was a transactional liaison. You suspected that Momo’s interest in you extended beyond her desire for the information at hand, and part of you yearned to take her outside of the confines of work. You’re skeptical such a day would ever come, however, given how ambitious Momo was. 

You knew her story--she applied for a job in the Japanese spy agency several years ago, making it all the way through the process before being cut at the very end. She ended up receiving an offer shortly after one of the other finalists died in a ‘training accident’, but Momo lived with a chip on her shoulder ever since. She lived and worked with a pathological drive to prove the agency wrong in their original decision to cut her. Already the youngest lead operative in her country’s history, she had an eye on the directorship and seemed destined for it. So, you supposed, it was nice to be able to fuck her before she became famous.

Momo hops on up on the desk, hiking up her skirt to reveal a delicious-looking blue thong that matches her hair. She looks behind towards you with lust heavy in her eyes as she pulls her thong to the side, revealing her glistening pussy--already dripping, you noted.

“I don’t have all night.”

More than happy to oblige, you line your painfully throbbing cock up with her pussy and you can feel the warmth radiating from it. You take a second to appreciate Momo’s incredible physique as your hands graze downward from her upper back, to her hips, and finally to her ass. As you rub it, you cannot help but appreciate how sublimely taut it is. 

“Jeeze, you act like this is the first time you’ve seen a woman naked,” Momo jabs, interrupting your reverie.

You are starting to get annoyed with Momo’s demeanor. It was nothing new, really--she always carried an air of superiority--but it nonetheless grates on your nerves to see her be so dismissive. You are mature enough to understand that at least a part of this aggravation had to do with the fact that you knew Momo slept with plenty of men for work. Not so mature, however, to be able to stifle the primal urge deep inside of you that wanted Momo to see you as the best of all her lovers. More than ever, it seemed that sexual vanity mattered a great deal to your self-confidence.

With a renewed sense of purpose and your cock in hand, you enter Momo slowly with a long stroke until you fill her to the hilt. In unison with your initial insertion, Momo lets out a whine that crescendos as you bottom out.

As you begin to thrust in and out Momo settles in and widens her stance ever so little, which has the added benefit of allowing you to go even deeper into her warm, wet pussy. Momo was not a girl of surprises. Her face was gorgeous, capable of angelic beauty and fiery lust. Her body reflected the many hours she spent in the gym with ample breasts, insanely tight abs, and a toned ass to match. Her pussy feels exactly as sublime as her beautiful face and incredible body suggested. The perfect combination for a woman who used her body to seduce and take advantage of brainless men. You decide to push out your mind the realization that at this very moment, you are in fact one of those men.

You wanted to make sure Momo felt each and every drive into her hot flesh. Momo continued to moan quietly, each breath punctuated with a new thrust and the sound of your skin meeting hers.

“Looks like someone’s gotten real quiet all of a sudden,” you say, noticing her haughty attitude had subsided as pleasure took you both over.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Momo says, looking back at you with rekindled determination in her eyes, “you’re no better than half the guys I’ve been with. I’m here for the file, not for whatever you call this.” She cooly turns her head to face front again, leaving you seething.

Your twinge of annoyance was now a bubbling boil.

You slow down before withdrawing your cock from her warmth--Momo lets out the faintest whine of disappointment, betraying her dissatisfied front.

Just as Momo turns her head again to complain, you quickly slam your cock deep inside her. Momo yelps, and you notice her eyes bulge as you move your hips in a circular motion with your cock filled to the hilt, scraping deep inside her pussy. After several seconds of this you grab a makeshift ponytail out of her hair and yank backwards, causing her to gasp and arch her back instinctively. As much as she bothered you with her air of indifference, you had to admit that the image in front of you was the stuff of dreams.

Taking advantage of the highly erotic sight before you and the increased leverage offered by your grasp of her hair, you began to truly fuck her with quick and powerful strokes.

“Take it, Momo,” you grunted, beads of sweat beginning to form on your forehead.

Momo said nothing, emitting only breathless gasps from her open mouth. You noticed that their intensity was gradually increasing, so you increased the speed of your shaft penetrating her young, sinful body. You knew she was enjoying this, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until you broke her facade. You wanted her to lose herself to you.

You speed up even more, and the volume of your skin slapping together increases as her pussy drips wetter and wetter, mixing with your leaking precum. You are slamming your cock into her now, and Momo has to grab on to the table to steady herself. Slowly but surely her pretense was crumbling.

“You want it, don’t you Momo? You want more?”

“Fuck yeah,” Momo gasps hoarsely, struggling to speak with her hair being pulled, “Give it to me...o-oh...fuck, give it to me!”

Satisfied that she had succumbed to her pleasure, you relax your grip on her hair slightly and lean over to growl in her ear.

“I’ll give it to you. I’m gonna make sure you remember this, make sure every time you’re with another man you wish it was me.”

Momo acknowledges your promise with a deep groan, giving you great pleasure as you resumed fucking her gorgeous body.

Your eyes drift downward to her glorious ass, now shining with sweat and jiggling violently with each crash of your cock inside her. Inspired by the sight, you release her hair and put one hand on her hip and begin striking her ass with your other. Momo shrieks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with lidded eyes while biting her lip to tell you she wanted more.

Again you oblige, and it was quickly becoming clear that lust and pleasure were staging a coup of Momo’s senses. She’s making lots of noise, but nothing intelligible. Nothing but guttural moans interspersed with high-pitched squeals. You continue spanking her ass, alternating cheeks--noticing a deep pink beginning to form on both. She’d most likely be dealing with soreness for several days after this, you think.

“You wanna cum, Momo? Cum for me, I know you want to.”

“Mmmmm...Ah, ah, AH! Unggghh,” comes Momo’s response.

“Come on Momo, fucking cum baby...cum all over this cock,” you shout, sincerely hoping there was no one working in an adjacent floor to hear.

“FUUUUCK!” Momo screams eloquently, suddenly dropping her head as her body begins convulsing. You knew what to expect having slept with her before, but you are nonetheless surprised to see how completely overtaken her body was by pleasure. Her upper body jerks spastically as her legs tremble with your cock plunged deep inside her pussy, all the while letting out a high-pitched whine that turns into a soft whimper. Just a few minutes before she was defiant and happy to throw insults at you...now she was a mewling, writhing mess incapable of speaking. The dark, primal part of you is satisfied by her tacit recognition of your talent.

After a short while, Momo begins to compose herself and lifts her upper body from the table. You take it as a sign to slowly resume taking your cock in and out of her. You decide to give her now glowing pink ass a rest and caress her back, tracing long lines with your nails.

“Mmmmm, that feels good,” Momo says, her eyes still closed, “you fuck me so good.”

You slowly begin ramping up the pace, rolling your hips with each stroke. You want to make sure your cock pleases every inch of Momo’s pussy, and make sure it craves you when she’s alone at night. 

After several minutes of this tender, softer version of lovemaking, Momo comes back to her senses. She arches her back again and turns her head to gaze in your eyes as you continue to take her. She begins to move her ass back and forth on your cock in unison with your own strokes.

“Oh my god, you feel so good in my fucking pussy! Every...fucking...stroke!” Momo gasps, the final words punctuated by the force of her majestic ass crashing against your cock.

“You’re a bad girl, Momo,” you tease, “you like being taken and shown who’s boss, don’t you? You like me grabbing your hair and slapping your ass?”

“Yes!” she gasps, “Yes I love it! Mmmmm...I want you to fuck me until you cum. Fuck me until you cum!”

There was no command in the world easier to follow.

Satisfied that you had fulfilled your vain, immature desire to see her acknowledge your skill as a lover, you now focus yourself on extracting pleasure from the young woman beneath you. You settle into a pace with rough strokes, fiercely pounding her over and over. Your pleasure rises with each thrust, aided not only by the mindblowing caress of her pussy, but by the incredible sight of Momo on all fours before you moaning with each strike of your cock inside her.

“Fuck Momo...I don’t think I have much longer, I’m gonna fucking cum so hard!”

“Yes,” comes the response from Momo, “Yes, yes! Fucking cum baby, I want your cum so bad!”

A few more thrusts and you can feel the point of no return coming. For a brief moment you contemplate cumming inside Momo, to truly claim her. You quickly reconsider, wanting to give her what she truly wanted--to swallow your load.

And so, you quickly withdraw your cock from Momo’s now sopping wet pussy and she instinctively turns around and drops to her knees on the floor. Stroking your cock with great fervor, her mouth wide open begging for what was to come.

“Please give me your cum, please, please! I want it...I need it! Cum for me!”

Your head tilts backward as a long groan escapes your lips. Your cum explodes from your shaft, shooting long, thick ropes of semen into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Over and over, your cum splashes on her beautiful face until you finally reach the end of your orgasm, panting and exhausted. Momo’s face is a pornographic picture of lust, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she swallows the mass of cum you deposited in her mouth.

“I fucking love your cum,” Momo says as she wipes the remaining cum off her face with her finger and promptly brings it to her tongue before swallowing it down as well.

“I’m glad we were both able to get what we wanted,” you say, struggling to catch your breath.

“Speaking of getting what I wanted…” Momo says, nodding her head to the part of the floor where the USB drive now sits, evidently thrown from the table during the session that had just taken place.

“Right,” you say, suddenly remembering you’re here for work, “make a copy and let’s get out of here.”

“Great,” says Momo, still on the floor with a satisfied smile of content on her face, “Hey, I meant what I said about having you join our team. As much shit as I give you, we could really use someone with your talent.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m better off staying put. Don’t think the Korean government would let me live if I tried defecting.”

“Probably true,” says Momo as she begins picking up her clothes, “Never hurts to ask, though.”

***

A few minutes later, you and Momo had both gotten dressed and copied the file onto a drive for her. Momo disappeared into an adjoining hallway and you set off to traverse the stairwell again. As you prepare yourself for the descent, you also steel yourself for the repercussions of giving the intel to a foreign spy agency. With the information you saw in the file, you knew the Japanese would have to be looped in sooner or later. If it was going to happen eventually, you thought it made the most sense to entrust that intel to the agent on the other side you knew would make sure things got done correctly. As logical as it seemed to you, however, you knew it wouldn’t be taken well back at the office.

You click on your comms link, now knowing there’s nothing to fear. 

“Hey Choa, I’m on my way back to the rendezvous.”

“Oh thank god! That took forever, I was about to call for a tac team!” Choa sighs with audible relief, “I take it you got everything you needed?”

“Got more than I needed, actually,” you say, nervous about Choa’s reaction to what you say next, “Listen, there’s one small thing you should know...”

“You did WHAT?!”

[littlemisslipbalm]

I live in the neighbourhood  Part 2

Part 2 is hereeeeee YAY! There will be a part 3 eventually :) I hope you enjoy and as well lmk you loved it with reblogs and messages, they truly make my day and y’know do it for other writers too, trust me we all love it. this fucking gif still gets me,,, but anyway there is so much i want to talk about in this part its killing me so plssss message me about it aghghghggh idk what else to say 

um this part is filled with: yn not knowing cars, harry being a dork, almost kisses and kisses  , but daddy i love him, the crown, gardening, and so much more mwah

Read Part 1

Word Count: 10.8k | Warnings: minor anxiety attack, swearing?, drinking, think that’s it (some more taylor swift)

-

“You want me to what?!” She feels herself all but scream.

He sighs in exasperation and ruffles his freshly cut curls. He can’t help the smile that grows shortly after his sigh. Y/N’s reaction on the other end of the line has sent him into a fit of giggles that he has to suppress quickly when she sends a warning ‘Harry’.

“It’s simple, love,” He twists to lay on his stomach. “I left you the spare to my place. Just go in, find my car keys and then drive to the airport and snap me up!”

She sighs now over the phone as she contemplates whether she could truly go into Harry’s home and then drive his surely expensive car to the airport and get him. It was something a friend would do for another friend, especially one who was a neighbour and especially a neighbour who had nothing better to do on a Friday night.

“Alright,” she says finally, “I’ll be there on Friday, text me the flight number.”

She grins when she hears a little “woo” from Harry. Even if he’s smiling half a world away it still made her happy to know it was because of her.

They had mostly texted each other randomly over the past three weeks while Harry had been away in California. She told him about her job, which he insisted was endlessly interesting and she countered that he found it interesting because it was new to him and eventually the grandeur would wear off. She loved her job, of course, it was for a public relations company that dealt with various London based companies and she was on multiple accounts with various clients ranging from tech companies to music artists. But she didn’t think it was as interesting as Harry made it out to be.

Harry told her about the filming of the movie and about everyone on set. He told her how he bought everyone on the crew his new ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirts and joked how he’d have to get her one as well to match her other one. She noted that one of Harry’s love languages was very obviously gift giving. He was so generous and she really admired that from him considering how successful he was. Her father was an accountant so she knew how rich people could be about their money sometimes, hiding it away in different entities just so their money can make money instead of spending it on things that matter.

He said everyone was nice and amazing overall, he gushed about people’s performances, but he’d always end with how much he missed London. He liked LA, he would assure her, but then he’d say how it wasn’t home-y at all. London was home to him. She would smile whenever he said that because she felt that way too, even though she wasn’t originally from the city, it just felt like home to her.

One night, he even confided in her his loneliness while on set. He wondered that maybe it was because he had no real roots in LA, nothing to go home to - no home to go to. She tried to reassure him that he wasn’t alone and all he had to do was ask and any person from the movie would love to spend time with him. He nodded along to her words, but they both knew he was being overly kind when he said everyone was nice. Not everyone in Hollywood was nice and certainly not everyone in Hollywood had substance. He searched for a month and seldom found time where he was truly relaxed with others and enjoying himself. More than ever he was excited to return home to London to say the least.

-

“Harry!”

She jumped out of her seat and into his arms, her cheek brushing his as she leaned in. He stood just on the sidewalk by his car that she had gingerly driven into the city and to the airport at 9pm on a Friday night in November.

The car was a dark blue vintage convertible, Mercedes-Benz, she was pretty sure but she really was completely clueless when it came to cars. Harry had taken her call right before his flight took off and walked her through finding the car. He had two garages and one garage had two cars and the other had only one. She had gone on her own and found the first garage with the two cars and seen a lime green tiny little vintage convertible and a cherry red vintage non-convertible and became distraught that there was no navy car. When Harry picked up the phone he had been greeted with some yelling about how he must be colorblind if he thought one of these cars was navy and he had laughed heartily before explaining that there was another garage. She had huffed and traipsed through his house until she came upon the other garage. When she saw the blue car she was equally annoyed and elated. “Thank fucking god,” she muttered over the line and Harry had laughed, but found himself cut off when the line went dead.

He smiled and groaned slightly at her tight embrace. He was happy to be back in England after a month away and he was happy to have her in his arms even if he didn’t know whether he should admit that.

“It’s good to see you,” he musters and he feels her smile into his neck. The only fabric between her face and him being his thin waffle knit long sleeve. He could feel her breath softly against him. He pets at the back of her hair, “Thank you for coming to get me, I know it might have been a bit much to ask.”

“Don’t mention it,” she pulls back from his embrace and smiles happily up at him, “What are friends for?”

She brushes her hands at his shoulders and then moves to start putting his luggage in his car. He had two suitcases and a backpack with him, but he had told her he had more stuff sent over that would just be sent simply to his home. She had texted back a shocked face emoji when he said that, unaware that he traveled with that much stuff.

“Right,” Harry affirms, twitching into action at the word ‘friends’. He felt like they had gotten so close over the last month even though they had only talked over the phone for that time. Seeing her in person now felt like she had been his friend for years.

Once in the car, Y/N settles back in the driver’s seat, not wanting Harry to have to drive after the horrible flight from California to London. A direct flight was just about as bad as layovers in Ohio or Utah. She wasn’t sure what it was like in First Class, but she still knew it was rough being on an aircraft for 10 plus hours.

Harry closes his eyes beside her after a moment. He had watched her settle in the car with his head against the headrest, his eyes drooping as they regarded her movements. She was so sweet to him and he nodded when she asked if he wanted his seat warmer on.

“You’re too good to me, pet,” he whispers, head lulling once again.

She glances at him swiftly as she pulls out of the loading area. He smiled contentedly before drifting off to sleep.  

She turned the music low and silently drove them back to Sherwood Avenue. When she pulled the car into Harry’s garage, she sat there for a few moments as Harry softly breathed beside her. She had hoped he’d wake up upon their arrival so she wouldn’t have to wake him, but alas he was sound asleep.

She watched him, he was so quiet in this moment. So unlike how he normally was with her, talking about everything and nothing almost constantly. She liked that side of him. But she had to admit something about him this peaceful was just as entrancing.

The flutter of his eyelids brought her out of her reverie and she was grateful for the dim lighting in the garage because when Harry’s eyes focused on her she was blushing.

He quirks a brow and his smirk begins to settle back on his lips. “Home,” he raspily mumbles and begins to shift in his sea.

She nods and smiles softly, shaking off all the thoughts had been going through her mind.

“We’re back,” she affirms. “Let’s get you inside, sleepy boy.”

Harry shakes off his slumber with a rub at his right eye and a run through his hair. He climbs out of the car. She throws him the keys at his silent instruction of an extended hand and an eyebrow raise. She knows she read him correctly when he smiles sweetly and travels to the boot of his car to begin unloading the suitcases he was in charge of.

She follows him and rounds the end of the car, preparing to take some of his luggage.  

“You don’t need to carry anything, it’s fine, dove.”

His voice is extra gravelly still and she would’ve complained about the new nicknames if he hadn’t sounded so hot. She didn’t think she had any feelings for Harry other than friendship, she was almost sure of it. Sure he was attractive, but ever since she actually got to know him she hadn’t thought of him in a way that could be considered more than friendship. He made her blush, but he was just inherently smooth. It wasn’t because he was specifically flirting with her.

Except right now, the whole reuniting of it all paired with his voice and his sleepy eyes that she imagined likely looked similar to his bedroom eyes. She was having a hard time seeing that line of friendship.

“No!” She protested, tugging the backpack he was attempting to carry along with the two suitcases from him.

He sighs and sets down one of the cases, “Y/N, you’ve already been too good to me by picking me up. I’m not making you do any more physical labor with any of my heavy shit.”

“It can’t be that heavy,” she pulls the backpack on and she resists the slight step back her body wants to take from the weight of the backpack.

“Give it back,” he says, sounding concerned for her.

“It’s fine, I’ve got it, Har,” she smiles and gives a little twirl in his large garage, the backpack making her look a bit smaller.

He twists his lips trying to ward off a smile. He wasn’t annoyed, moreso he was delighted by her antics. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her.

“Oh you got it? Do you?” His amusement betrays his British accent, making him sound like he did at 19. He places the other case on the ground and walks quickly to stand right in front of her.

She squeals as he gets so close, his nose just about brushes hers. He’s smiling sinisterly as he takes hold of the straps of the backpack and tries to tug them off of her. Yet, she holds on tight to the front of them, laughing happily at their silliness and causing her nose to brush against his.

Their eyes are strong on each other, watching their every move. And they settle a little, laughter dying out, breathing evening out. Her hands are still strong on the front straps of the backpack, while Harry’s are strong on the top of her shoulders, wrapped around the backpack’s straps as well.

He licks his lips, feeling especially interested in seeing how hers finally taste. Right as he is about to lean in, brush his lips against hers, she pulls from his grasp, swinging away from him and dashing to the door that leads to the rest of his house.

“C’mon, it’s freezing out here!” She twists the nob of the door and beckons him.

He huffs, shaking himself out of the daydream he had almost made reality. He wanted to kick himself, he felt like a kid. He needed to get a grip.

“I’m right behind ya’,” he called, nodding his head to tell her to go before him.

Her smile sears in his mind like the shine on a brand new coin as she flicks on the light in the entryway. The light comes flooding in the doorway and around her. For that quick moment only she is illuminated in his eyes. She shines for him and he wonders if it’s possible to drown in light.

-

Next Thursday

“Crown came out on Sunday!” Harry said as he opened the door, knowing it was Y/N who had knocked.

“Had no clue from the ominous text you sent, ‘come over, i promise popcorn *crown emoji*’,” she laughs and enters the house and holds out a bag of chocolate chips.

“I already have it queued up and popcorn’s popping!” He says happily and takes the chocolate chips to put in little dishes.

They walk into the kitchen and she’s still in awe of his home. It was clean and sleek but with all the hominess still easily found if you looked a little closer. Tea cloths hanging over the ovens’ handles that had interlocking G’s - a facet of Gucci she could only assume. Various paintings of different scenes, one a Japanese store front and another a Blue Jay perched easily on a thin branch.

There were unique painted tiles that he must use for hot plates and a single fancy floral mug tucked next to an espresso machine and just little things that she was keen on exploring at some point, but Harry caught her attention.

“Adult slushie?” He inquires with an arched brow.

“Does the slushie perform exotic dances?” She asks jokingly.

Harry rolls his eyes and chuckles, “Sometimes those that drink it do.”  

She reddens at his implication. He then looks at her seriously and she regards him with utter delight. Her eyes twinkle as he moves about his home with ease.

“If you make it,” she confirms, in awe that he would make cocktails on this random occasion.

He smiles at her and begins his final tasks, checking to make sure the popcorn doesn’t burn and grabs the ingredients he needs to make the drink he was thinking of.

She stands beside him, eyes constantly wondering between his moving physique and his home.

“Did you know I know Emma?” Harry asks, looking up from the blender. She notices how his neck muscles twist and strain as he gazes at her. He was wearing a white t-shirt with ‘But Daddy I Love Him’ in a red vintage font and a black cardigan with different colorful objects on it, mostly flowers, it said ‘Spaceboy’ on the back and she had smiled when she saw it when he led her to the kitchen.

She hums, her gaze focused on him. His green eyes flicker across her face and down her body, simply taking into account her outfit. Pink sweatpants and a long sleeve with a drawing of a cute little clown holding two guns up at the air. While it might have sounded like a weird thing to have printed on a shirt, he found it fun, he was always appreciative of different clothing. Of course she had a gun-slinging clown shirt that she managed to make sweet, he thought.

“Fascinating connections of the rich and famous,” she muses.

“Yeah, well, Susan - Harry Lambert,” he corrects his friend’s nickname, catching himself, “he styles us both so we’ve met a few times. She’s really lovely.”

“That’s pretty epic,” she says and wanders closer to Harry, wanting a better look at his progress on the drinks.

Her hand rests on the countertop next to the two glasses he intends to place the ‘slushies’ into. The liquor he used just said “Blue” and she wondered what blue would taste like as he pours the glasses now. The consistency of them being relatively slushie like, she was impressed.

Her smile gives it away and Harry eyes her, “What’re you smiling at?”

“I’m admiring your bartending skills,” she meets his eyes and she realizes how rather close they’ve gotten as he leans slightly over her and the countertop.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he says playfully, “I take my mixology very seriously so I don’t want any praise until you’ve actually tried it.”

He holds the glass up to her and instead of grabbing it from him, she simply guides it to her lips. Her hand lightly grasping at the soft fabric of his cardigan. She parts her lips and takes a small sip, maintaining eye contact with Harry.

When the icey liquid passes her lips, her eyes flutter shut at the sweetness of the drink, it was like candy but with a light kick at the end from the alcohol. She loved it and when she opened her eyes again she took the drink from Harry’s strong hand and took another sip.

“This is dangerously good,” she finally says and Harry grins.

“Fantastic! Now we’re ready to start the show,” and he leads them into his living room that is just as big or bigger than his kitchen. A large screen television and a turquoise velvet couch are the main attractions of the room, at least what Y/N is focused on. There’s more art and posters up in this room, a lovely round coffee table and gorgeous vintage rug.

“Wait, Susan?” she circles back to Harry’s earlier comment about Emma Corin and their shared stylist.

Harry smiles and sits next to her comfortably, placing the drinks on coasters and the other various items on the coffee table.

“It’s my nickname for Harry since we’re both...Harry. Just felt silly calling each other Harry and Sue and Susan, they just fit so well.”

She nods, “I see.” But she didn’t really get it. She’d never had a friend where they only called each other a different name from their own, maybe a nickname that she would occasionally call them, but never one so ingrained that she would call them it when referring to them to someone else who surely didn’t know them and wouldn’t know them by the different name. Not that she really knew who Harry Lambert was in the first place, but it still made more sense than Susan. She shook it off just as another quirk of Harry being who he was.

They settle in for the show and they love talking through it, which Y/N was happy that Harry liked to talk during shows as well. She hated when people shushed her during movies and shows when she had something to say. They commented on the fashion and how wild some of the stuff was. Thankfully, as well, even Harry thought some of the things the royals did were absurdly lavish.

“He is so hot,” she finally says when Prince Charles is on the screen for another time and she can’t keep it in anymore, “How could they cast him for Prince Charles, they are far too kind.”

“Josh?” Harry questions, glancing over at his friend curled up on the couch next to him. She had her feet tucked beneath her legs and had her body on its side while staring at the television.

“Don’t tell me you know him too?” She says, taking her focus off the TV to look at Harry, a chocolate chip landing in her mouth once she finished talking.

Their blue slushies had been finished and the popcorn was half eaten. She was pretty sure they were on the second episode already.

He laughs, “No, but Emma says he’s very nice...He is rather attractive.”

That makes her smile, the both of them finding an actor attractive. It felt like Harry was like one of her friends from home, chatting about boys, something she really didn’t do anymore.

“Maybe you can introduce us,” she laughs, her head nudging at Harry’s shoulder beside her.

She doesn’t notice Harry’s lack of mirth at her joke as she turns her attention back to the screen, re-immersing herself in the plot. He twitches slightly uncomfortably at the thought of him introducing her to someone she might be interested in romantically.

“Why not,” he says half-heartedly and he hopes she doesn’t notice his tone.

-

The next day was Friday and she had the day off as per usual.

After three episodes of the Crown, she and Harry had decided to call it a night. He had offered that she could spend the night so she didn’t have to walk home after she had refused to let him walk her across the street. However, she declined, saying she didn’t like leaving Rori alone at night, especially since he was still getting used to the new house. Harry had understood but she could tell he was saddened by her leaving.

She had decided to plant some flowers in her front yard, hoping to liven it up. She had bought some plants at the local flower shop, pansies and aster thinking that purple and gold would look lovely together. She planned to set to work with little experience, but plenty of intention. Rori was outside with her for moral support, prancing through the growing grass and nibbling at the shrubs, more like a bunny than a dog.

Her mother had gifted her gardening tools a long time ago and their entire family had laughed because they knew Y/N didn’t have a green anything, most definitely not a green thumb. Today she had grabbed them and the plants and had placed it all in front of her planters. Then she sat there and went on her phone, scrolling through it mindlessly. She had no idea what she was doing or where to start so getting distracted was easy.

“Need any help?”

Her head turns and she slides away her phone with a sigh, knowing exactly who had just kindly asked to lend a hand.

Harry squints down at her and in this moment she is especially aware of just how tall Harry actually is. Normally she notices his height and thinks ‘yeah he’s tall’, but right now he towers over her. His hair is catching the surprising fall sun and causing glints of gold to radiate off him. His eyes are especially light right now and she feels oddly unnerved by their color, the hazy mint of some kind of predator. He is such a presence and she thought she had finally gotten used to him being in her life, but in this moment she is taken aback. She shakes her head after a moment too long of staring up at him.

“Hi,” she breathes and stands up from her sitting position. “I was just starting to do some planting, and I don’t know if you can tell but I have no gardening skills whatsoever.”

She gestures to her set up and Harry turns his gaze from her to the plants and smiles. He had been coming back from his morning jog and instead of entering his gate, he walked through hers. He looks at everything and reaches down to pet Rori when he comes running up happily to his friend.

“Well, it looks like a good start. Aster is an interesting thing to plant…” He kneels down to start digging up the soil in the planters.

She kneels beside him and watches him attentively. “I wanted chrysanthemums, they’re one of my favorites. But they were out, so it will have to do.”

“It will do perfectly,” he looks up at her from his work, “you wouldn’t have picked it if it wasn’t amazing.”

She makes a small smile at his statement, but doesn’t respond. Instead, she takes up mimicking his actions with the soil.

“Do you garden a lot?” Her voice is soft, not wanting to disturb the quiet that had fallen over them.  

“Not much anymore, I don’t really have the time, but I used to with my mum.”

She hums and scratches behind Rori’s ears absentmindedly when he looks curiously at what they’re doing.

They work silently, only talking intermittently. At one point, she grabs them glasses of water from the kitchen, mostly for Harry because he’s actually working up a sweat planting her garden. Harry hums random songs that are on his mind and she wishes he would sing for her, but she would never dare ask him to.

They talk about the Crown and how much they loved all the clothes in it last night and where the plot is going since they know the true history it’s based on. Harry offers British insight into the Royals that she had never thought about and they even venture into British politics which she admits she never really thought about since usually the US politics is far more in the spotlight.

He talks about his views on politics and she gives hers, even stranger though they even venture further into usually rocky territory and discuss religion. She is very interested by what Harry has to say about religion, his answers are both completely expected and unexpected. Something she’s noticed about Harry with her is that she always seems to be surprised by what he says, but it still manages to make complete sense after a moment.

“I’m going back to LA tomorrow,” Harry muses as he regards one of the pansies, like he’s almost staring it straight in the eye.

“Oh?” She turns to face him.

She stops her aimless moving about of the dirt. She had mostly been playing with the dirt while he did the majority of the work. She just didn’t enjoy it. Harry had definitely made the activity palatable. She’d have to tell him she would have likely given up an hour ago had he not been there.

He sighs and sets the pansy into the hole in the soil he had made for it. “More shooting for the movie, I’ll be gone for another month.”

“Wow…I think saying goodbye to you is just going to get harder and harder.” She looks away, her arms crossing over herself instinctively when the wind blows just a little too hard.

Harry looks at her now and sees her curling in on herself and he wants to hug her, but they weren’t like that. Instead he places a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it slowly up and down trying to offer her some warmth.

“I think we’ve made enough progress today. It’s starting to get cold, hm?”

She looks at him now and nods, her hand moving up and capturing his in hers. Like they had when Harry walked her home after his game, their fingers twist and turn around each other. Their eyes shying between each other’s faces and interlocked hands.

She springs to her feet after a couple quiet minutes of dodging eye contact and simply enjoying the feel of one another against each other.

“I should thank you for all this help,” she starts and Harry gets up to stand, beginning to say there is no need for a thank you for what he did.

“No, no.” She stops him, “I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without your help and I took up all of your day, practically.” She takes hold of his hands now to examine the dirt that has managed to cover them since he was convinced that she should wear the gloves her mother gave her. “You should come over tonight and I’ll cook you dinner. I’m a much better cook than I am a gardener.”

Harry looks at her quietly, his eyes blinking slowly. Like he’s basking in the small movements she’s making on his hands. She traces the little cross that straddles his thumb and pointer finger on his left hand.

“I’ll make sure to bring dessert then.” He smiles and tilts his head to the right and a little forward towards her. She gazes up at him softly. “I might even bring something extra special.”

She raises her brows, “A special treat from Harry Styles himself. I’ll be anxiously awaiting your return then.” She taunts him only slightly because what he had said just about brought her to her knees. The way his smile had shifted to a smirk and how his voice has grown quiet and low, it just felt very intimate.

Harry returns at half past six, as requested by Y/N. He was freshly showered and cologned and she had never found a man more attractive than in that moment. Before he came over he told her he was dressing nice and she had no idea what that might mean with him. But when she saw him, she understood.

What it meant was a crisp blue big collared Gucci dress shirt unbuttoned almost half way down his chest revealing his ever present cross and fitted high waisted brown trousers. His fresh haircut meant for the 50’s slicked back with pieces beginning to fall about just perfectly. No belt, no cufflinks, and no suit coat. Instead of a coat he had on a jacket that was similar to her giraffe jacket he had borrowed all those days ago. His own was comfortably settled over his shoulders and it was obviously made of fabrics far nicer than hers and wasn’t fraying in any place.

He posed in her doorway and even gave a twirl at which time Y/N laughed happily. It looked amazing on him, she had no idea how her jacket had been the thing that started this all.

“How do you like it?” He asks seriously. “Does it look alright?”

“It looks perfect on you, Har. Is that the extra special surprise?”

He smirks smugly at her compliment and comes into the home, greeting Rori quickly before following her back into the kitchen where she was still cooking.

“Oh no,” he says and places a bag filled with a bottle of red wine and a pint of her favorite ice cream on the counter (and the surprise tucked neatly at the bottom of the bag).

She looks at him quizzically as he begins to take the items out of the bag.

“There’s one last thing in there,” he points to the bag casually, while putting the ice cream in her freezer. “Do ya’ mind grabbing it for me, dove?”

She rolls her eyes and reaches into the bag. Her hand retrieves a magazine from the bottom of the bag and when she flips it over to the front side, a gasp escaped her lips.

“Harry! Oh my god!” Her hand goes to her mouth as she takes in the cover.

A US Vogue magazine with Harry on the front of it. He’s blowing up a balloon in the photo and he looks beautiful. His skin is flawless and his hair is luscious and flowing a little longer than he kept it now due to the movie.

“I’m a Vogue cover model now, eh?” He asks, looking on apprehensively as she begins to gingerly flick her fingers through the magazine’s pages.

“This is the surprise?” She looks up from the page with him and Gemma sitting side by side.

Harry nods and watches her absentmindedly trace his face on the page.

“Do you like the pictures?” His voice is soft and almost timid?

“Of course!” She exclaims, not wanting to let any doubts pass through Harry’s mind. “Is this what you were doing up in Scotland a couple months ago, right before we became friends and you said you wanted to surprise me with something top secret?”

He nods again, his grin creeping onto his face as she stares at the photo of him in the cover photo’s outfit where you can see the entire dress.

“I want that dress...did they let you keep it?” She continues flicking through the pages lightly and glancing at Harry across from her. The dinner forgotten for the moment.

“It’s Gucci, I didn’t keep it, but I’m sure I could call Susan and get you one ordered,” he replies easily, leaning over the counter to watch the magazine.

She scoffs, “I can’t afford a Gucci gown for no reason...AND before you try to say you’ll pay for it, I would never accept such a gift and I am so for real about that, Harry.”

He waves his hands out in front of him as if to say he’d never suggest such a thing even though they both knew he’d buy it for her in a heartbeat.

“These pants…” she mutters, eyes now fixed on the trousers Harry is wearing in a specific photo in the magazine. They’re tan with a darker stripe on the side of them but the most intriguing part is all of the different drawings on it that seemed to be all related to Harry.

“They’re fab, no?” He quirks a brow at her, his face still holding an apprehensive grin like she’ll take back her praise at a moment’s notice.

“So fab,” she echoes. “Are they bespoke?” Her question has a hint of sarcasm dripping behind it, knowing by now Harry was notorious for custom-made items.

“What gave it away?” He wiggles his brows.

Her eyes flicker to meet his and she sees they’ve ended up face to face once again. It seemed to happen too often with one another. She settles the magazine down and stands up straight. She couldn’t allow herself to indulge in the proximity of his inviting lips. The proximity of his warmth that had seemed to seep into all facets of her life in the last two months or so. It was wonderful and warm, but it wasn’t hers. She shared him with so many other people and she couldn’t get carried away with him because tomorrow he’d be gone.

“That really is amazing Harry. I’m very proud of you, but if you don’t want a burnt dinner, I need to start paying attention to what I’m cooking.” She turns away from him and she quickly takes a palm to swipe beneath her eye, collecting the stray liquid that somehow fell from her eye. Funny thing, she wasn’t cooking with onions.

Harry doesn’t notice the movement, simply sighing that she turned from him yet again. He ran a hand through his hair, further tousling the once coiffed hairdo and then twisted his ‘H’ ring around his finger before settling on a bar stool to flip through the magazine and watch her cook.

“When does the magazine come out?” She calls as she stirs the sauce that she’d be pouring over their spaghetti squash once it was finished baking.

“Next week, They’ll release the story online and then I’ll be hitting shelves,” he muses, reading a different story in the magazine, not particularly interesting in himself.

“I’m sure you’ll be flying off those shelves the second you’re placed down.” She laughs at her joke and Harry rubs his lips with his thumb and forefinger thoughtfully.

“You think so?” His eyes sparkle with mischief at his question.

She turns her head, an open-mouthed grin already on her face, a slight scoff falling from her mouth, “Oh c’mon, you know so. I think you’re one of the most loved men in the world and people fall more and more in love each year.” She almost added ‘and I don’t blame them’ but she refrained thankfully.

“Most loved...I like that. Such an interesting way to put it.”

“I mean, you’ve been famous for what? Ten years now? That’s a long time and I don’t think you’re going anywhere...At this point it’s not about how big your celebrity star is, it’s your level of belovedness and I think that level is quite high.” She comments on something about Harry they never talked too much of. Sometimes they talked about him knowing famous people and about the work he had to fly off to do, but never the specific fame of it all. She didn’t really think Harry liked to talk about.

She didn’t have much of an opinion on it, it didn’t matter to her whether Harry was a famous multi-talented big-C celebrity or he was a nobody with a random job. As long as he was still her neighbour she would never complain. He made her so happy and maybe if he hadn’t been famous he wouldn’t be the way that he was so she would never say it was a nuisance. It just came along with him.

“Well...like I said, it’s a lovely way to put it. So, thank you for that.”

He stands up now, forgetting the magazine and rounding the counter to find a cork for the wine seeing that Y/N was doing the final touches on their food.

They eat dinner across from each other at her modest-sized dinner table. Harry slips his giraffe coat off and rolls up his sleeves to allow him to “really dig in” to the dinner she made for them. Maybe some footsy occurs beneath the table but neither of them would ever admit to it so did it really happen? Just feet moving randomly and happening to rub against one another every so often.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, the two of them join Rori in the living room where he’s curled up on one of the throw pillows. Y/N runs back to the kitchen to scoop them ice cream and whips of two Moscow Mules to go with it because she had brought up how when she usually goes home for the holidays, her and her sister always have a competition of who can make the most unique but best tasting Moscow Mule. Harry had said how he’d love to be there one day for that and she had blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear from the comment before taking a large gulp of wine. Since that wasn’t possible right now, her tipsy mind had decided that the next best thing was to make some basic ones right now.

“I bring a Mule and an ice cream,” she says airly, playing like a royal herself, as she holds them out to Harry.

He laughs softly and accepts them graciously, doing a slight head bow to her. Before he can say anything she’s a flash of plaid and red as she runs back for her own ice cream and drink. He had been complimenting her plaid pants with golden bees on them all night and asked her where she got them, teasing that they must be Gucci, but all she would say is that he couldn’t have them to go make a copy of this time.

She re-enters the room and dims the lights with her hip. Then she settles beside him, clinking her glass with him and they both take their first sip.

“Hmmm,” Harry hums after he tastes the cocktail, “I like it.”

“Moscow Mules are a favorite with my family,” she muses, flicking through the television to get them set up to watch the Crown again.

“Maybe I should meet them and thank them for bestowing such a good favorite unto their daughter?” Harry asks and she laughs and rolls her eyes. Questions of meeting family when they were just friends didn’t need a response. Right?

They spoon ice cream into their mouths as the show begins and they murmur comments to one another throughout the episode. They idly pet Rori sometimes as he moves randomly around the room trying to find the place he likes most. Once Harry’s done with his ice cream, Rori thinks his chest is the best place to be and Y/N can’t help but snap a quick photo of it.

“Not quite as handsome without the dress, but it’ll do,” she sighs and snuggles into Harry’s side. Her hand reaches up to scratch at Rori which then leaves her arm wrapped around Harry when her dog inexplicably leaves to go to bed a few minutes later.

He was an awfully good wingman Harry would easily admit at a much later date.

They stay cuddled casually with one another for the entirety of two more episodes and they realize they’re more than halfway done with the season. A yawn from Y/N cues to Harry that he should suggest they pause for the night. She agrees easily, her head nuzzling into his strong shoulder for a little while.

Harry takes the remote from her and turns off the television before flicking on the side table turquoise glass-blown lamp.

“Can I put some music on?” He whispers in her ear, already knowing the answer, but waiting for her to nod her head. She obliges and he slowly slides her onto the couch beneath them. Then he begins padding around her house to find her speaker.

“Arrow Through Me” by Harry’s all time role model Paul McCartney’s second band Wings begins to play through the speakers. What a fucking moutful.

She perks up at the music and sits up straighter on her couch. Her smile grows as Harry shakes his hips a little and moves to the beat of the song as he makes his way back over to the couch. He opens his mouth to say something, but instead of words ringing loud through the room, it's the sound of a phone buzzing from somewhere between a few cushions on the couch

“Oh shit...shit, shit, shit,” she awakens herself out of her daze with her profanity. Attempting to find her phone rather haphazardly, she stumbles around the couch.

It’s Harry who fishes the phone from beneath a throw pillow and hands it over to his friend. She smiles thankfully, her hair a little messy and her eyes slightly crazed, before picking up the phone without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?...Cate?...Oh, hey….No, I didn’t look at the ID...figured it was you or someone in the states...no one in the UK would call me right now...It’s almost midnight here, you asshole,” she pauses and points at the phone and mouths “it’s Cate” like Harry hadn’t been sitting there listening to the entire conversation.

“I’m just hanging out watching the new season of Crown...with Harry...yeah, that Harry,” she flits her eyes to Harry for a second and rolls her eyes sarcastically.

“Talk to him? I mean.. I can put you on speaker, I guess?” She looks at Harry and he nods his head eagerly.

She rejoins him on the couch and places the phone on the coffee table, tapping on the speaker.

“You’re on speaker now.”

“Hi Harry!” Cate crackles over the line, happily, likely just awoken from her slumber in California.

“Hullo, love,” he says sweetly, his voice beginning to slow even more as the night wears on.

Y/N rolls her eyes at both of her friends, knowing Harry was laying it on thick and that Cate would squeal over this exchange for the next three weeks.

“What are you two lovebirds up to?” She inquires sweetly and Harry makes an arched brow at Y/N and she only supplies a shaken head and a shoulder shrug.  

“Cate….” Y/N drags out, annoyed with her for both saying that and for calling just as she was planning on going to sleep.

“Sorry! Friends, I know. Even though staying in on a Friday night with just the two of you doesn’t sound very friendly…” She begins to ramble on,  but Y/N offers another warning ‘Cate’. Cate takes the hint and finishes her teasing. “Anyways…”

Harry and Y/N are completely red, sitting next to one another but grateful for the minimal lighting.

“I was just calling to check-in. Do you know what you’re doing for the holidays yet? I know you don’t do thanksgiving anymore - which was yesterday by the way - since you’re all British now.”

Y/N scoffs at her close friend and Harry nudges her side about the British thing.

“I don’t know yet, I have to see my work schedule and all that. I don’t know if I want to fly across the world this year though…” She trails off, kind of quieting in hope that Cate will miss it.

Harry regards the conversation, casually interested, yet intrigued since he had been meaning to ask the exact same question.

Cate hums, obviously unhappy with the response. “Alright. And you Harry? Do you usually go home to your family for the holidays?”

“You don’t need to answer that,” Y/N interjects.

Harry places a hand on her thigh to let her know that it’s completely fine. An easy smile on his lips as he speaks to the phone. Y/N places her hand over Harry’s on instinct.

“Usually, yeah. This year we were thinking of all going out to my place in Italy so it’s kind of up in the air right now. When I get back from LA, I’ll probably finalize it.”

“LA you said? We should get together while you’re here.”

“Cate. He’s there on business.”

“I know...but still. It’s fine,” Cate laughs lightly, knowing she was pushing her luck with this conversation as it was. “Anyways, darling, I just wanted to tell you I miss you and that Harry’s not allowed to replace me as your best friend. Y’hear that Mr. Styles?”

“I sure do, love.”

Everyone laughs whole heartedly and Harry and Y/N are still playing with each other’s fingers on top of her thigh.

Y/N thinks that’s enough of the conference call with Harry and Cate so she snatches the phone with her free hand and raises it back to her ear.

“Alright, Cate, I think we’re going to head to bed...not...not like that...I hate you...Now I definitely don’t want to come home...I’m kidding, I’ll think about it...Love you, too….Yeah I’ll tell him...Have a nice day…”

She throws the phone on the coffee table again and falls back on the couch. Her head rolls to rest on Harry’s broad shoulder and she sighs softly. Harry moves his head to rest over hers, chuckling softly. His sweet breaths of joy are why he then receives a soft slap on his far arm, only making him laugh more.

“Shut up,” her muffled voice comes out from against his blue shirt that is far more crumpled than it was when he came over hours ago.

“She’s so funny,” he laughs again, nosing his face into her hair.

“She tries to get away with way too much,” she sighs and Harry just pats at her side, smiling and not caring at all about the things Cate was hinting at because he wanted what she was alluding to to be reality.

“Y’know I have a question because she said I can’t be your best friend and that’s fine with me, but I wanted to tell you something, love.”

Her head raises to look Harry in the eye, slightly confused by his preface.

“You’re my best friend,” he says earnestly in the dark living room, “Is that allowed?”

His accent was thick with anticipation, the night wearing on his vocal cords. It was so quiet in the room, Harry was sure she just heard him swallow his own saliva - he had paused the music after a minute into the call with Cate. He blinks twice while waiting for any response, he stares straight at her.  

Her eyes barely shine through the darkness as she looks back at him. His question rattled through her mind. ‘Is it allowed’ for him to think of her as his best friend. It just didn’t make complete sense to her and she wasn’t sure if she should vocalize that doubt. But as his eyes begin to mist like a forest on a cold morning she knows she has to say something.

Her eyelids shut as she lets out a heavy breath, the processing of what Harry’s just said finishes.

“It’s allowed...Do you mean it?”

“Course I mean it,” his voice cracks, an incredulous laugh leaving his lips.

She straightens up, moving slightly from his warm embrace. He becomes fidgety without her tucked in his side. His fingers itch without her arm to caress. His lips move between his teeth without her hair to ghost over.

When she remains silent, Harry decides to continue.

“I remember the first time I saw you,” he croaks and she furrows her brow at this. “It was the day you moved in...Had just come home from my morning run and you’d pulled up in your moving van. I thought you had on the coolest pair of jeans I’d ever seen…” He pauses. He takes a deep breath and her eyes are watering now.

“I also thought you were one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen and I knew I had to know you.”

“Why’d it’d take you so long?” Is all she asks as she tries to will away the water welling in her eyes.

Harry rolls his lips together and breathlessly laughs, head tilted up to the sky. “Never knew how to approach ya’. Then you bumped into me, felt like it was the universe kicking me for being so damn slow.”

She bites her lip, a tear rolling down her cheek finally. “Oh, Harry.”

Then there it is. What the last few months had been leading up to. The moment where they no longer were able to wonder what the other would taste like. No more guessing. No more wondering. It was concrete. It was her lips pressed to Harry’s. She laughed lightly after a moment, pressing closer to him. His lips felt like the softest pillow she could ever lay on and she never wanted to get out of bed.

A small breath came out of his nose as he pressed eagerly back against her. She tasted like ginger and chocolate and maybe cherry - her chapstick possibly. He sucked at her lips, never wanting the taste or the feeling to go away. She was so soft and smooth and she responded quickly to his push.

Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck and into his hair as he pulled her closer by her waist. They were attempting to inhale one another, taking inventory of every possible crevice of each other they hadn’t touched before.

Harry’s lips part slightly as he swipes his tongue across her bottom lip. She giggles, tugging him over her and opening up her mouth easily. He pushes forward, a small sound leaving his mouth as he shifts them into a lying position on the couch, her legs encircling his waist.

A hand runs along her jaw, down her neck, across her collarbone and then down her arm. It lands so that he can intertwine their hands together. He feels her smile beneath him and he smiles back despite their lips never leaving one another. His other hand caresses her cheek as he kisses her.

Eventually, his lips roam around her face and on her neck aways, but mostly he focuses on her lips. Both of them are more than happy with this decision as they continue on for what feels like hours. Yet still those hours don’t feel long enough.

She pulls at a button on his shirt at one point, but Harry pulls back.

“I think we should call it a night.”

“Really?” She looks at him with confusion and a swirl of hurt in her eyes.

“It’s late, love, and… we just, I don’t want to rush anything.”

“Alright,” she nods, sitting up and running a finger down the side of his face.

“I think I’ve been doing best friends wrong all this time.” she muses, tracing lines on Harry’s neck now. Her eyes focused on her work.

“And why’s that?” Harry asks, his own hands running up and down her back.

“I’ve never snogged a best friend for hours on end.” She laughs and Harry can’t help his snort.

He moves his head to rest on her shoulder, almost like a hug, but not quite. She doesn’t move away, simply turns her head to continue watching her hands trace him, her work now moving to the back of his neck and his upper back and shoulders.

He hums a little bit, a love song he had played for himself the last few weeks when he tried to fall asleep and all that he could think of was her. She smiles softly and places a kiss on his shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed, darling.”

Harry nods, wrapping his arms around Y/N and carrying her to her room.

-

The next morning she finds herself wrapped happily in a set of strong, tattooed arms. She sighs content, snuggling closer to the warm naked chest in front of her.

“G’morning,” the man beneath her whispers. His voice a low rumbling rasp, she feels the vibrations below her.

“Morning,” she mumbles, nuzzling her nose into the crevice of his sternum, just above the butterfly that lives on his chest.

He hums at the feeling, slightly shivering from the cold, but pulls her closer nonetheless. She caresses his side with a light touch in response. Her fingers trace unknown patterns down his ribcage and then dip to the ferns peeking from his boxers. He shifts slightly when her fingers travel there. A place no one but him had touched in a long time.

“’ve got a plane to catch,” he says sadly and he brushes a hair from her face as she turns to look at his face.

His neck strains to regard her and he has a bit of a double chin from this angle, but she couldn’t care less. He looked so beautiful staring down at her. She never wanted to look away or lose this image. His eyelashes lightly caressed the skin just below his eyes everytime he blinked. It was quiet enough that if she listened close she could hear each flutter. The eyes behind them were even better, a dark rim of green encases emerald irises that hold black and gold specs, stars and stories swirl hidden beneath it all. She wants to drown in it.

He winks at her as she stares, growing disarmed with her intense gaze on him for so long. Her calming caress keeps him grounded though and she laughs at the wink, relieving him of her scrutiny that he didn’t understand was awe.

She groans, unhappy, “Miss it.”

“I can’t,” he drags out, not wanting to leave either.

“Can’t convince you to stay, no?” She rolls on top of him, pushing her chest against him and giving him doe eyes.

His strong arms encircle her waist as her legs straddle him. She arches more into him and leans down to kiss in between his pecs. Her eyes never leave his face, watching his reaction. It’s his turn to groan with a loud sigh to match. He throws his head back and steals himself to say,

“Not even a chance.”

She remembers when he had begged her to come with him and she smiles at his recycling over her response.

“Fair enough,” she says and rolls off of him. His head falls to the side to watch her get up and begin her day. He takes a deep breath, wishing he didn’t have to leave.

Harry heads back to his place to get ready for his departure. Before he leaves he joins Y/N and Rori for an early tea at the café. They get their drinks to go and walk back to Harry’s together. When they arrive, Harry’s car is waiting and she feels a dryness in her throat. He looks down at Rori and gives him a quick pet. He turns to her and she smiles weakly.

Harry’s hand encircles her wrist, caressing her softly. He leans down quickly and pecks her lips. It feels like he was barely there and then he was gone. It was like a butterfly had landed on her lips and wrist and then it had vanished.

Off his sleek black car goes, soon out of sight and headed for the airport. And there she is, left on Sherwood Avenue. Her fingers move to dance over her lips and then over her jaw and down her neck. Every place his touch had burned her in the past 24 hours. And now he was gone, across the world.

No talk of what came next had been spoken between them. She wasn’t sure what they were and didn’t know if she could handle that talk over the phone. She walked home after a few minutes of standing with her dog in front of Harry’s now vacant home. She sat silently in her house for half of the day.

At dusk, she decides on a run, maybe it will get her mind off her neighbour. She had sat in the same spot for too long. The same spot they had kissed each other last night. Maybe a change of scenery would stop the movie reel of last night that kept playing over and over in her mind.

She runs down the street, specifically keeping her eyes off the lovely home across from her, and keeps running down different streets, past the café, down to the park, and then finally reaches a stream that is past some brush and trees at the end of the park. There’s a bench there that seems like a nice place to rest.

Her music has been playing the entire time, the playlist she chose was inundated with Taylor Swift - but not chosen for that specific reason. Each song thankfully not from 1989. At least not until she’s running through the park. “You are in love” begins to play, it’s soft Twin Peaks-esque opening is familiar to her. It fits the cool rush of wind against her skin and the leaves that have turned brown as fall has worn on. She’d listened to it a thousand times. Sometimes thinking about the man who inspired the song, but all those times were long before she had ever met him.

Now that she knew him, she almost skipped it, but shook her head to herself feeling silly for feeling uncomfortable listening to a song she liked. Her run turns into a walk as she reaches the stream. The chorus begins. Taylor softly serenades about being in love. About a man in love with a woman. About Harry being in love with her.

She takes a deep breath, hearing the words a little different this time. Taylor sings “You kiss on sidewalks” and this morning flashes in her mind. She looks out at the stream, the water rushing along as she stands there, still catching her breath. Then the next part of the song reaches into her heart and twists it with all its might.

“One night he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses, then says, ‘you’re my best friend’.”

And that’s it. She takes out her headphones, her breath no longer capable of being caught. She breathes heavier and heavier. Her throat was as tight and dry as when Harry had left this morning. Possibly even worse. She can’t even swallow this time. Her phone and headphones are discarded on the bench as she raises her hands to her face and begins to pace beside the stream. Her eyes eventually match the body of water next to her and she feels a sob wrack through her. She couldn’t breath, her running and panic had brought her asthma to the forefront and she was hyperventilating, gasping for air. She was drowning and no one was there to help her.

Tears stream down her face and she moves her hands to her thighs as she tries to calm down, not knowing how she reached this level of distraughtness. Deep breaths she reminds herself. She licks her lips and shuts her eyes. “Just ground yourself,” she whispers.

When she’s finally gotten ahold of herself she sits at the bench and stares into the stream. A distorted version of herself seems to stare back. It’s constantly moving, swirling, and changing  and as she watches that version of herself she wants to scream. Her tears had faded awhile ago, but the fear was still there.

The last few months had been so easy, had been so perfect. Going over to each other’s houses and being with each other. But if she ignored history wasn’t she destined to repeat it? When she heard the confessional of the man Taylor had loved in her song, when he had told her she was his best friend which meant he was in love, she felt hurt. She knew how their story ended. Taylor and Harry’s. He left. He left her when she needed him and today, Y/N realized it’s what he does. It wasn’t his fault, she didn’t blame him for leaving today. It was his job, not another woman. But holy fuck when she heard Taylor sing those lyrics, it felt like she had been hit on the head out of nowhere. Reminded that she had been living in a fairytale for the last few months, swept up in a fantasy that she wasn’t meant to be a part of.

She ran a hand over her face, rubbing slightly at her cheek. The same cheek Harry had caressed last night and she sighed. She stared off into the trees and then shook her head, standing up and heading back home. Alone.

Harry calls her when he arrives at LAX. She doesn’t pick up. He calls the next day. She doesn’t pick up. He texts and receives no response for three days.

She thought she didn't know what she would say.

“I listened to too much of your ex’s music and now I’m insecure.”

“I feel like you’re gonna leave me someday so I’m too afraid to do anything with you.”

“Is it alright if we’re just friends, I don’t think my heart could take the pain of falling in love with you and then losing you.”

“You can’t promise me forever and after just one kiss I knew I couldn’t do anything less.”

“The price of loving you is far too high.”

She types them all out and then deletes them every time. Too scared. Instead:

“I’m busy with work, I don’t know when I won’t be. Let’s just plan on meeting up when you’re home.”

Harry nods when he sees the text on Friday. He tells her to take care and make sure she gets enough rest. He wipes away the stray tear that decided to escape his eyes after reading her response. He exhales and looks to the sky, wondering what could have possibly happened since he had left. He sends little emojis over the next few weeks that she puts a heart on, but she doesn’t communicate otherwise.

Harry doesn’t ask her to pick him up. Instead he sends flowers to her house the Thursday before he returns. They make her smile and she wonders if maybe she can move past every red flag she feels like she sees. After a month away, she can’t lie and say she’s not excited for Harry to return. She missed his warm skin and his soft hair. She missed everything and the flowers had only made her wish it had been Harry on her doorstep a couple days early.

He gets home on the 12th and he’s at her door after throwing his things in his entryway.

She opens the door and bites her lip as she takes in who it is.

Harry says her name breathlessly and she melts. Her doubts fly out the window for the moment and all she wants are his lips on hers.

She falls into him and his lips are on hers. They twist into one another and their lips move softly yet urgently against one another. Not sure how to explain the last four weeks, they both attempt to say everything in that kiss. All her pain and confusion press into Harry’s lip with each breath. All his sadness and longing tug at her lips as he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth and hungers for more.

He pulls back and stares straight into her eyes, “Come to Italy with me for the holidays.”

She tilts her head confused, trying to catch her own breath.

“I’m not sure what happened while I was gone, love. But I know I missed you and I can’t go another month without you. Just say yes and we’ll take it from there...Please,” he begs, voice cracking as he holds her cheek.

She wets her lips and opens them to speak, but her voice betrays her. Instead she just nods and squeaks out a noise of approval. Too elated to speak, they press their lips back together and she pulls Harry into her home. 

December was far too cold to snog out in the freezing night air.

-