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#anyway go read all is fair in love and war
hacked-wtsdz · 10 months
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Every time I read or watch Lord of the Rings I can’t help but think about how Tolkien had survived one of the bloodiest, most cruel, most dirtiest and darkest wars in human history, came back and wrote this:
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
And this:
"'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo.
'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'"
And this:
"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend."
And this:
“Many that live deserve death and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the wise cannot see all ends."
And this:
“True courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.”
And clearly they were all written partly because he survived the war, because of what he’d seen and done and learned. But at the same time the unwillingness to lose faith, the courage and strength that this man had to believe in these things after going through hell! It makes the nihilists look so cheap, so uninteresting! People who’ve went through concentration camps and wars believe in humanity anyway, isn’t that proof that hope and love exist? And many, many, many of them did not return or returned broken and cruel and traumatised to the point when no faith in others was possible for them, and nobody can blame them. But there were many who refused to lose faith and hope. They have seen some of the worst that life has to offer and came back believing that we shouldn’t be eager to deal out death in judgement and should love only that which the sword defends.
No matter how many people say that humanity is horrible and undeserving of love, and life is dark and worthless, and love doesn’t exist I remember this and have hope anyway. Because there were people who have actually had all reason to believe in the worst and still believed in the good, so the good must be real. The good is real, even despite the evil, and we must trust in it.
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thefictionshelf · 1 year
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can't believe the sun and the star is out. shaking etc etc
#i get in august b/c of hold lists#which is fine my me b/c i never actually finished TOA when i originally read pjo/hoo/toa so im taking this time to do that#ik it came out like a week ago but it's really hitting me b/c im rereading hidden oracle#like. im going to get to see my boy!! my little guy!!!!#like. just the fact that people have read it. and that it's getting good reviews#like finally. after all of it! a real attempt at payoff#a real deep dive on his grief. everything he's been through. and how he's letting himself love and care anyway. fucking screams#i don't think it features any segments from right after gaea's war which is a bit :( but like still i just#i'm so fucking hype. just. for the person in the story who has the MOST reason to feel like the universe is against him#that he's inherently miserable or unlovable but it's just not true!!! and the way will helps him see that without looking away from his#pain#that on it's face#that premise is ridiculous. you're like anyone else. you're soft. you're soft. you're soft.#and that kind of idea- it serves a purpose. to give the suffering meaning. to justify it. to make it make sense#but the truth is it's not fair or cosmically divined. it just is. and it's not fair but it doesn't have to define him like!!! FUCK#sorry i just go insane crazy over those scenes at the end of BOO. the fact that it took 8 years to properly deliver on that is. gugh#i'm also just excited to be be back at camp half blood. <#excited for the fun stuff too!! not just the bummers#will is only in a handful of scenes ever prior to this book but he is painted so vividly and im so excited to see what they do with him#in an alternate universe there is a version of will that is just stale ass wonder bread but he's so interesting and rich and!!!!#like funny. i don't even mean personality just like. situationally#only medic in never-once-has passed an osha inspection the camp is inherently comedic#but on top of that straight man (ha) to a cabin full of dramatic children is. it's just ripe#even like the whistle thing is so fucking funny. it's such a good detail#the way his complete lack of skill in anything but medicine don't stop him from fucking around and finding out#the constant trapeze act of holding it together and open vulnerability to manage a level of responsibility that should not be on the#shoulders of a 16 year old! and he's doing a great job!#mmg. just. excited#pjo
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kamaluhkhan · 4 months
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GUILTY AS SIN?
GLUTTONY — part vi of we'll write sins not tragedies
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pairing: luke castellan x nemesis! reader (afab) word count: 3k summary: after a mission gone wrong, you unknowingly take the fall for a friend; you get drunk with the enemy; and you start to think that, if they’re going to crucify you anyway, you might as well indulge in a few fatal fantasies. warnings: set during the last olympian so spoilers for the entire pjo book series; luke + reader get drunk; mention of death + war + reader has some survivor's guilt; smut (unprotected p in v, oral f receiving, kinda sub!luke, brief allusion to knife kink — 18 + MDNI) + angst author's note: not sure how i feel ab this one but i've been workshopping it for weeks so i think her time has come !! also maybe got a bit too deep into book lore oops. also also ive been listening to this song an outrageous amount and i hope i did it justice ANYWAYS lmk what y'all think, thanks sm for reading ♥
♪ "guilty as sin?" by taylor swift
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you’re well aware of how suspicious this looks, rendezvousing with the enemy at a sleazy dive bar in the heart of the city. 
he walks in, and your heart starts to beat faster in anticipation. his familiar deep brown eyes are now striking gold, and a streak of gray is woven through his signature dark curls — evidence of the battles you've fought, on opposite sides, and an ominous reminder of a war that has yet to be over. 
as he casually orders himself a drink and one for you, you keep a hand on your concealed dagger. it’s become an instinct of yours, whenever he’s around.
“i didn’t come here to fight.” he assures, catching the glint of your blade. 
“and what about…..” you gesture broadly at him. 
“we’re not entirely synched yet, so it gives him a break whenever i’m in full control,” he explains as though reciting from a textbook (something like how to betray your loved ones and overthrow the olympians 101). “it’s only me tonight. i swear on the river styx.”
a shiver passes through you.
about a year ago, luke tracked you down in new york. apparently, kronos was pushing him to do something extreme, and luke felt conflicted. 
you thought it had to be some sort of cruel joke, because you could not think of anything more extreme than what luke had already done in facilitating a war between gods and titans. you had no patience for his crocodile tears, not after he played you so well the first time. 
you told him as much, then told him to fuck off. 
to be fair, you didn’t know that would lead to him bathing in the river styx and becoming a vessel for the titan lord himself.
luke wears the curse of achilles well: all strong muscles and sharp angles, his tan skin glowing ever-so slightly, and his body devoid of any fresh cuts or bruises despite surviving an explosion just a few days prior. 
“so….what? you’re the pilot whenever kronos needs to take a really long nap?” 
“i’d say timeshare is the closest way to describe it.” 
“50/50 ownership?”
“more like 90/10.”
you scoff. “sounds like a scam.”
the corner of his mouth quirks up in amusement. it reminds you so much of old times, his boyish charm peeking through whenever a camper would try to pull a prank on him, and then complain when he’d beat them to the punch. 
“it’s just me,” he repeats, but you didn’t need any more confirmation.
you know deep in your gut, from that mischievous smirk alone: it’s not the lord of time, but luke castellan next to you.
the bar is surprisingly busy for a weeknight. there’s a game being shown on TV, and people wearing sports jerseys occasionally groan or cheer or come to the counter to order another pint for their table while keeping their eyes glued to the screen. the jukebox in the corner plays music from the 70s and 80s as a group of friends starts to dance, tipsy after a deadly combination of jello shots and sangria.
for the first few drinks, you and luke are silent, letting these sounds of regular human existence fill the space between you. you half-expect him to ask about law school admissions, or the new tattoo you got on your upper thigh, or your band’s latest show — all fragments of your own mundane mortal life used to distract yourself from demigod realities. 
he doesn’t, though. luke just stares at the hockey game, one you know for a fact he doesn’t care about because the rangers aren’t playing, as he sips his old-fashioned like he has all the time in the world. 
“did you wanna meet so we could just sit here in silence or….”
when you had agreed to this meeting, you had a clear goal in mind: find out who the spy is and clear your name.
it might be too much rum or the crushing weight of recent events, but you no longer have the energy nor the drive to be strategic or even cautious around luke. now, you’re looking for a cure to your bone deep boredom and heartache.
"no. i’m here because….” he falters and runs a hand through his hair. “look, i heard about what happened at camp. and, with beck —” 
“dying?” you finish, taking one last gulp of your drink. all the rage, resentment and grief you’ve been feeling has been lodged in your throat. you’d hope each sip of your dark and stormy would burn through it, but instead it comes tumbling from your lips. 
“honestly, beck would probably still be alive if you didn’t join the dark side. i guess you’re kinda leading the dark side now, aren’t you luke? what’s that like?” 
luke polishes off his drink, too, his cheeks flushed. he gestures at the bartender for a third round of drinks. or is it fourth? 
“don’t be a dick,” luke sighs once a replenished glass is placed in front of him. “i obviously never wanted to hurt you — any of you.”
if you were of sober mind, maybe you’d point out that it’s too late; that luke already hurt all of you the minute he decided to side with kronos.
“i know i did, though,” he adds after swallowing a mouthful of his drink. 
you know that if luke was of sober mind, he would never have admitted that. he seems to know better than to apologize though, hopefully recognizing that the damage has already been done. 
it’s not like your hands aren’t bloody, too. 
“it was supposed to be me, you know?” you let out a watery laugh. “i was supposed to go with percy on the mission, but beck offered to go instead because he thought — he knew — that it would….it would be hard for me to see…. you.”
luke pauses and turns away from you. “you couldn’t have known what would happen.” his voice wavers, too. “beckendorf was looking out for you — it’s what he does. did.”
“i couldn’t even go to the funeral,” you continue. “i feel like i didn’t really get to say goodbye, you know?”
 “yeah,” luke hums sorrowfully. “mourning someone who fought for the gods isn’t really allowed where i am.”
again, you could point out the irony in what he’s saying. given everything he’s done, luke dug his own grave and clearly some for his friends, too. 
tears sting your eyes, but you blink them away. the reality is that one of your best friends died because you couldn’t handle an encounter with your ex-boyfriend, the one you’re currently sitting beside. 
you might not have done what they accused you of, but you’re nowhere near innocent. who were you to give yourself permission to cry?
in the dim neon light, you notice a tear slide down luke’s cheek before he wipes it away just as fast.
he clears his throat. “to charles beckendorf: a hero by any other name.”
you tap your glass against luke’s, and you both drink in honor of your lost friend. you drink to everyone and everything you’ve lost, too. 
beckendorf is dead; chris has lost his mind; clarisse might start her own war with the apollo cabin over a flying chariot; and ever since the princess andromeda mission went terribly wrong, silena can’t go one minute without bursting into tears. 
it was too easy for everything to fall apart, as though this was always what the fates had in store for you — the next generation of greek tragedies. 
thankfully, there always comes a break in the tragedy, and it seems to be now: you and luke, getting drunk off whiskey and rum and old memories. 
you remember countless times sneaking out to the beach after curfew, mixing store-brand soda with cheap alcohol smuggled into camp by luke’s half-brothers; hot summer nights spent fantasizing about existence outside of camp and returning to your head counselor duties in the morning with chiron and mr. d none the wiser. once you started dating, it became routine for the two of you to wander away from the group for some privacy, somewhere far enough away so that no one could hear you scream luke’s name.
those memories still make your skin flush, even as you’re here drinking cocktails at a bar in the city, with one friend gone to elysium and everyone else calling you a traitor.
“i can’t believe you don’t remember that night! mr. d caught a few senior campers getting drunk in his office? they stole a super expensive bottle of wine, threw up all over the carpet, and had to spend the rest of the night cleaning it?” 
you continue shaking your head. you tip your glass back to capture the last drops of amber liquid before confessing:  
“what i remember is spending the whole night jealous of malcolm pace because he got to slow dance with you.”
luke lets out something between a scoff and a laugh, then he’s silent for a few moments.
“i love this song,” luke muses, words blurring together. “i haven’t heard it in a while.” he finishes his drink and sets the glass down, holding his hand out to you. 
your brain is a bit foggy from all the alcohol, so it takes you a few seconds to realize what he’s asking. 
“you wanna dance?”
“yeah,” he answers. “make up for lost time.”
it’s not until you feel luke’s chest pressed against yours, his hands firmly on your waist, that you register what song is currently playing.
“downtown lights” by the blue nile — luke had spent so long trying to find the right song for your first time together. 
you told him not to worry, teased him a bit for planning every detail so meticulously, but deep down, your heart swelled with how much he cared.
the empty hermes cabin during capture-the-flag, both of you pretending to be too injured from sparring practice to play. luke’s sweaty hands fumbling with the condom, you having to step in and rip the wrapper with your teeth. clothes being haphazardly thrown on so you could run back to the infirmary before anyone noticed. silent vows to do it again, and again, and again. 
the more time spent exploring and experimenting, the more you got the rhythm of each other’s bodies, knew how to make the other squirm and throw their head back in pleasure — and that didn’t just go away when luke joined kronos’ army. 
even when your loyalties were more clear, your consciousness was plagued with visions of you and luke together, ones that left your sheets burning, more than the blazing summer heat. you confided in silena about these once, and she assured you that there is no such thing as bad thoughts. 
she did warn you, though: it’s when you indulge in these fantasies that they risk becoming fatal.
now, thinking back and forth between memories with luke and the events of this past very shitty week, you realize that maybe that’s why you’re here.
despite everything you’ve done, you supposedly betrayed people you consistently fight beside, fight for; you were thrown out of a place you once considered home and told never to come back. 
you were doomed from the start — a daughter of nemesis, assumed to be wicked and revenge-seeking since birth. 
well, if they’re going to crucify you anyway…..
once the song ends, you ask:
“you wanna go outside for a smoke?”
your hands start playing with the curls at the base of luke’s neck, hinting at what you were hoping comes next.
luke licks his lips, gold eyes darker than before. 
“guess you’re itching to put that celestial bronze to good use,” he says lowly.
“only if you ask nicely,” you drawl. 
luke blushes. 
you pull away from him, start walking towards the back exit, and pray that he follows you. 
this is why meeting with you was dangerous: there’s no one else in the world – god, titan, or otherwise – luke castellan would get on his knees for, let alone in the filthy alley behind a bar.  
technically, kronos sent luke here to recruit you. 
the scythe charm — the one used to communicate with silena — sits heavy in his pocket. it’s part of the reason why you were exiled from camp, why your friends don’t look at you the same way. why you can’t ever go back home, not really. 
luke imagines you might resent those who threw you out of camp, but you would never betray them. he knew that you weren’t likely to join kronos’ army.
he’s thankful that, at the very least, you still have a penchant for breaking some rules. 
the two of you are a tangled mess of teeth and tongue. luke tastes the spiciness of ginger beer and rum, mixed with sweetness from the clove cigarette you just smoked. you lock one leg around luke’s hip, and the brief glimpse of your lacy black underwear has him throbbing. one of your hands slips underneath his shirt to trace the contours of his abdomen. luke’s breath hitches when your hand reaches down even further. 
“wait –” you pause your actions to let luke finish his sentence, and already he regrets voicing his hollow concern. “i….i probably should not be doing this.”
“me neither,” you concede, breathing steadily.“but, they already think i’m guilty.”  with your other hand, your thumb dances over his kiss-swollen lips and luke feels something ignite in the pit of his stomach. “maybe i am, with how much i think about you.”
luke knows what’s at stake for him, if anyone finds out, but in a booze-soaked haze and with you looking at him like that, he can’t seem to care. 
it’s coming back to him now: that endless cycle of waking up sticky and drenched in sweat over dreams of screaming your name and going about his day like it wasn’t a paradox to be leading kronos’ army and still wanting someone aligned with the enemy to devour him. 
when he agreed, however reluctantly, to be a vessel for kronos, luke had to lock those desires inside a vault deep inside his mind. 
this might very well be luke’s last chance to satisfy his cravings, once and for all. tonight, he’s in full control of his body and mind. 
he’ll happily yield his power to you. 
soon enough, your teeth gnaw on his top lip as luke messily thrusts into you, your underwear hastily pushed to the side. he tries to savor every part of this, of you — the heel of your combat boot digging into his back; the sting of your nails where you grip him; the familiar scent of your skin, sickly sweet cherries and burnt vanilla; the hoarseness of your voice, encouraging him to go faster, harder. following your orders, luke wraps both of your legs around his waist and digs his fingers further into your hips to keep them secure.
it’s a religious experience, watching you throw your head back against the brick wall as your orgasm crashes through you. luke follows a few seconds later, pulling out just in time to paint the inside of your thighs with his cum.
luke grins as he watches you come down from your high, eyes closed, chest heaving, neck engraved with the outline of his teeth.
“sorry, didn’t mean to give you a concussion.”
you open your eyes just to roll them at luke, who’s tucking himself back into his jeans.
“you’re such an asshole,” you jest through labored breaths, registering his shit-eating grin. you fix the hem of your leather skirt and pout dramatically. “and you had to leave a mess behind, didn’t you?”
without another word, luke kneels in front of you. 
he leans his head back to admire how your lips curl into a bemused smile at his antics. your fingers press into his pulse point, no doubt feeling how reckless his heartbeat becomes underneath you. once more, your thumb prods at his lips; this time luke grants access, the cold metal of your ring burning on his tongue. 
“is this how you pledged loyalty to your titan king?” you taunt. 
luke shakes his head, still sucking your digit. 
he did have to bow, but not like this. the only entity he’d worship this desperately is you. 
“i’m honored,” you coo. luke bites back a whimper when you remove your thumb from his mouth, instead tracing the scar on his face, up his cheekbone. “i have to say though: i miss your brown eyes, pretty boy.”
his whole body is on fire with how you touch him, but your passing observation feels like a knife to the gut. wanting to be good for you, to prove he’s still your pretty boy, luke pushes up the bottom of your skirt so it bunches around your waist. 
“luke!” you attempt to scold, concealing a moan when his teeth graze your clit through the damp fabric of your underwear. “someone might see.”
“it’ll be fine, baby,” he assures. “is this new?” luke is mesmerized by the fresh ink on your thigh, fingers trailing over swirling black lines. 
you hum, a goddess gazing down on her disciple. “do you like it?”
luke nods. he replaces his fingers with his tongue, journeying across your skin, tasting salty sweat mixed with his cum drying between your legs. he hears your whimpers for more. he complies and plunges two fingers beneath the lace until you reach your peak. luke places one last kiss to your core, before getting up again.
you crash your lips onto his, and you’re kissing him the way you did back when you really loved him, chaotic and feverish. your fingers snake through his curls, and you tug on them just enough to make luke’s head spin. 
you’re somehow more intoxicating than however many drinks he downed earlier.
he sees something simmering behind your eyes, when you ask if he wants to come back to your apartment. you both know you shouldn’t, but honestly — in the grand scheme of things, what’s one more sin?as the two of you are tangled beneath your bedsheets, you decide to frame it differently, as a mutual vow: maybe just one more time will satisfy this hunger.
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saerotonins · 10 months
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the love that came back
ft. nanami kento x fem!reader
"what more could you wish for?
when the love you once lost, came back into your arms again,"
content warnings: jjk shibuya arc spoilers, angst, fluff if you really squint, little dialogues, going through grief and depression, pure pain, just reader's life through her perspective, implied major character death, bittersweet, depictions of the afterlife, happy ending (i promise)
wc: 4,933
note: i'll just be letting my feelings out because we're about to mourn LMAO enjoy!
inspired by and best enjoyed with: this love by taylor swift
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October 31, 2018
when you heard a knock on the door, you expected kento to great you with a smile on his face and a sweet kiss to your lips.
but what you got instead is shoko right in front of your doorstep, giving you the news that your fiancée lost his life in the middle of the war across shibuya— then you felt like your world had crumbled right before your very eyes. he had promised. he had promised to come home to you tonight and come trick-or-treating and give the kids around the neighborhood some candies.
kento never breaks his promises, especially when it comes to you.
but there's always a first time, as they say.
you felt your knees turn into jelly as you fall onto the floor, eyes wide, and heart incredibly shattered. you couldn't believe what you were hearing, this must be a sick fucking joke. there's no way the love of your life is just gone like that. he doesn't fucking deserve this.
"i'm so sorry, y/n," you hear shoko said as she guides your limp body to sit on the couch but you could hardly hear her between your ragged breaths and the ringing in your ears.
what would her apology do anyway? would that sorry bring him back? would that bring him to your arms once again? 
you feel your eyes swell with tears and let them fall off as they please. you wail in shoko's arms, you let out the loudest screams you ever let out in your entire life but none of those did anything to the amount of pain your heart is currently bearing. and for shoko, who has seen a fair share of gore and violence in her life, has never been so disturbed and heartbroken when she saw you wept and mourn for your lover.
that night when shoko left you on your own (not that she had the choice), you drank the fruit flavored champagne you usually sip with kento as he enjoys his whiskey, downing it like it was water but it tasted different.
there's this saying that alcohol tasted better when you're happy and around the people you cherish the most.
your sweet champagne started to taste bitter ever since, and a part of you died that day.
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the days have gotten colder.
you miss the way kento's arms would wrap around you, you miss the warmth that he provided, something the heater in your shared home couldn't give.
you feel empty, everything has gone silent, and you hate it. at times like this, when kento is home, you would hear him hum with the vinyl he chose to listen to going along the silent rustle of either the newspaper or a book he had been looking forward to read.
now it's just silence. it's all new to you. you almost even forgot how your voice sounded like because you had no one to talk to.
for the past few weeks, your family and friends, even shoko had visited you to make sure you were okay. but whenever they try to initiate a conversation, they only get either a curt nod or nothing. they have also noticed the change you have been going through. the usual sparkle in your eyes gone, you've gone extremely quiet, your appetite has drastically changed, but they understood nonetheless. 
a few days ago, with the help of his family and from the mercy of any entity that existed out there, the jujutsu tech was able to retrieve kento's body, whatever is left, that is— cremated him and finally held a proper burial. that's the least he deserves.
you asked if you could keep some of his ashes in a little urn, and his family, bless their hearts, agreed as they know that both of you share the pain of losing a loved one. there, it sits in his study together with his pictured frame. another one also sits on your chest, a necklace that holds some of your beloved. a piece of reminder that you and him will still be together.
you walk towards back to the living room, seeing the mess that has been made because truthfully speaking, cleaning up the house was the least pf your problems when you had a lot going through. it has been really rough. every night, at 7 pm, you yearn for the knock of your door, kento's voice declaring his arrival, "hon, i'm home," he would usually say.
now, it's all gone. the clothes he had worn the previous days still in the laundry bags, untouched, for the fear that his scent might go away. 
it scares you. the thought of forgetting the sound of his voice, his smell, his warmth, his company, not being near your reach, terrifies you to the core. but you have to face it all. put on a brave face, live on a life where he doesn't exist anymore. but deep in your bones, your heart, and your soul.
he's still around.
he should be. he promised eternal life with you, willingly get on one knee to put on the prettiest engagement ring you had ever seen.
the saddest part is, he wouldn't be able to see you walk down the aisle. both of you had dreamt of a wedding so perfect. you designing your own gown that would compliment his, a small wedding enough for your family and closest friends, and a honeymoon trip to malaysia where you could just bask in each other's presence, forgetting everything and savor each moment.
he had promised you forever.
and kento never lies. 
but then again, there's always a first time.
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it has been months. nothing has changed.
you still feel so empty. nothing has changed around the house either. sure, the living room is clean enough but the bedroom you once shared with kento stayed the same.
you refuse to wash his clothes that was in the laundry basket, you refused to wash the bedsheets, you refused to even make up his side of the bed. and despite how much you missed him, you refuse to sleep on his side of the bed, fearing that sleeping over his scent would lose him completely. it was exhausting to yearn for someone you know is not going back, but you do it anyway.
from the tailoring shop you own, many bride-to-be's are going in and out to pick out wedding dresses with their pretty engagement rings decorating their hand. it feels like a slap to the face, angering even. why do these women have to be so happy picking out the perfect wedding gown while you're out there sulking, stuck with what if's and what could have been.
what could have been your gown? his suit? what could have your wedding venue look like? what could have happen in your honeymoon?
and when you realize that it will always stay that way, it fills you with envy, but more so with sorrow.
it's so unfair to be mad at these people who were lucky enough to find the one but you couldn't help it.
you just also hate the pity smiles they give you when you answer their question, "when's your wedding?" once they caught a glimpse of the engagement ring kento gave you with, "my fiancée passed away," with a forced smile on your face. you're just thankful they don't push you to answer any more questions.
the ring kento gave you is one thing that you will never remove. aside from your necklace, this is a reminder that kento loved you enough to propose, to ask your hand in marriage. that may not be enough considering your situation, but it is something, so you keep it around anyway.
when the shop has finally closed for the day, you come home, sit on his study and sketch more of the wedding dress ideas that you had on your what could have been wedding with kento. you have gone through almost 3 journals sketching everything aside from the dresses. it was venues, suits that he could've worn, your dress, and of course sketches of the both of you walking down the aisle.
whenever you sketch, a tear falls down, then another, and another, until you cry a river all over the page, not caring if the lead from the pencil is barely there due to the wet pages or the ink from your pen is smudging. when you go back to the pages, you see it. you don't mind that it has become messy, it represents the feelings that you have. the yearning, the grieving, the sorrow of a what could've been wife to a what could've been husband.
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more months pass by and it's still the same.
it's empty, it's all routine. you wake up, wash your face from the dried tears that you wept from the night before, shower, get dressed, go to kento's study just to admire his face from the picture frame where his urn is placed and say your goodbyes as you kiss his pretty face through the the frame and off you go to work.
it's clockwork, but you don't mind. it's one of the few things that kept you sane, but a deep burning hole in your heart still fire ablaze, waiting to be set off. you doubt it will happen, but some coping might help, so you pretend that you don't mind.
when the night comes, you still prepare meals enough for two, it's muscle memory, you seem to master making portions of two and you plan to keep it that way. it's one of the only ways that keeps you alive. you either save the other half on the fridge or give them to your neighbors.
you had also convinced yourself to wash the bedsheets, but you always remember to spray kento's cologne on his side so it feels like he never left, but his clothes on the laundry basket remains untouched. you have gone through multiple bottles of his favorite perfume from spraying almost every surface of the house, it's expensive but it doesn't matter. as long as it helps to keep his memory, you don't mind.
your friends and family visit you from time to time, to check up on you. they know you're just putting a smile on your face, it's obvious, because your eyes don't shine like they used to, but that's fine enough for them. they also noticed how the house strongly smells like him, but they don't complain anyway.
and as you close your eyes, you take one careful sniff of his pillow that you have grown accustomed to embracing every night (but you know it doesn't feel the same but it would suffice), and drift yourself to sleep as quiet tears fall down.
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today is a pretty quiet day. you took a week off from the shop but you're lucky enough that your sister is more than willing to help you. you've been doing nothing but cleaning around the house, watching shows, doing strolls across the neighborhood, visiting parks, and mostly sleeping. it wasn't the most productive way of spending your days off but these are just the things you do with kento when he was still... alive.
it was usually lively when you do it, but now it's quite different. the hums he would usually do to accompany the vinyl he is playing and the quiet rustle whenever he turns a page on his books, all gone. the silence is so loud that you could swear you can hear a hair pin drop. you could only hear the swirls of the fan and your breaths. 
it's silent but it's deafening.
you stood up from the couch and decided to spend some time in his study. these months, you had been spending a lot of time there, doing whatever you can to bring some life into it. 
kento has always been an organized man, not a speck of dust present or a single item misplaced. but ever since, you always thought that it looked like no one was there to inhabit it anymore. so, with a silent apology, you try rearranging things around, keep his lounge and study chair warm but that's about it.
once you entered his study, you remembered that kento has a lot of books left unread. he has been planning to get around and read it. but now he can't, the thought just broke your heart.
skimming through his shelves that was adorned with many books, one caught your eye. it was slightly misplaced, leaning towards another book with a bookmark sticking out.
kim jiyoung, born 1982, it read.
you remember this book.
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October 24, 2018
"dear," kento had called out as you were scrolling through your phone with your head on his lap.
"you should read this book sometime, i think you'll like it," he said, making the book cover more visible so you can read the title.
"kim jiyoung, born 1982?" you read out loud.
"yeah, it's a very powerful book from what i've read so far, i think you'll feel the same way about it,"
you hummed, with the busy schedule around the shop, you're not so sure, "i'll borrow it from you when i finally have the time, besides, you can finish reading it first and tell me your thoughts about it, how's that sound?" you say with a smile on your face.
"sounds like a plan, but i can read it a lot to you right now?" 
you like the idea he proposed, his voice is relaxing so you definitely won't mind.
"okay, but i like it better when you read it to me anyway," 
a small smile escaped from kento's lips as a playfully scoffs, "whatever you say."
you hear him clear his throat before reading, "when jiyoung was in fiftth grade..." 
for the next few pages, you felt your eyes grow heavier as you heard his soothing voice grow quiet and let yourself drift asleep.
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you regret sleeping on his voice that day. if you would've known it was the last time you would hear him read a book to you, you would've listened more attentively, record his voice, and listen some more. you feel your lips quiver as you feel tears threatening to leave your eyes.
you pick up the book and opened the page where the bookmark sits and you realize he's almost halfway through. you remember him saying that he'll get back to reading it after halloween once his schedule opens up.
guess that will never happen.
you sit on the lounge chair on the drawer where his urn and picture frame is placed. through shaky hands, you remove the bookmark and open the book wider.
"kento, i'm sorry if my voice isn't as soothing as yours but i will try and help you finish this, so just listen and relax, alright?" you voice is shaky and cracking, and you hope he won't mind, you he will listen just like you did, you hope he closes his eyes and rest wherever he is.
after releasing a ragged sigh, you read, "jiyoung's mother received information that the new..."
as you read through the pages, your ready becomes more and more sloppy, sometimes having to repeat sentences or words when you feel like you didn't say them properly. some of its pages soaked with your tears, and take deep breathes when the pain is caught up in your throat. you give kento a silent apology for ruining his books. 
and you hope it's enough, because that's all you can do.
hope.
from then on, you finish book after book during your free time, slowly going through the unread books across his shelves. as time passes by, you may have gone through a lot of his books but reading them never goes easier. every time, you would flood the pages with tears, your breaths are never steady, and by the end of every reading, you would hug the book and close your eyes, sometimes creasing some of its parts.
and you hope he doesn't mind.
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July 03, 2019
this is his first birthday that you would have to celebrate alone. and the thought breaks your heart.
as you set the cake on the table beside his picture frame and light the numbered candles.
you blankly at the flames on the cake. he would've been 28 today.
you take a very deep breath and started to sing.
"happy birthday to you," tears started forming in your eyes, singing the song out of tune and through your shaky breaths, "happy birthday to you,"
"happy birthday, my dearest kento," you take another deep breath.
"happy birthday to you." you sang for the last time before blowing out his candles.
another deep sigh. you kiss the pendant that sits on your chest, "i love you," and then the engagement ring on your ring finger, "so, so, much."
from then on, every time the 3rd of july comes around the corner, it becomes clockwork. you sing, blow the candles, kiss the pendant and the ring, and eat the cake all alone. 
it never gets any better, though.
through the years you watch the numbers from the candles grow older.
but you know deep inside he doesn't. the ticking of his clock has stopped.
and so did yours.
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October 31, 2019
you dreaded this day to come. on the same year, you managed to come across both of kento's firsts.
his first birthday without him celebrating with you and his first death anniversary.
ever since his funeral, you never had the will in you to actually visit his grave, where his family decided to bury his ashes. you were a coward, you admit.
but losing someone you loved the most is never that easy to get over with.
having to come face to face with your lover's grave is no easy task. you touch the tombstone where his name is engraved.
Nanami Kento
July 03, 1990-October 31, 2018
your soul will always be in our hearts
you sit onto the green grass, put your arms on his tombstone and rested your head over it.
for a while it was silent.
until a rain of tears eventually dropped.
"you're so unfair, kento," you said. your voice hoarse but considerably unnoticed as the pain took over. "you said you'd come home to me, but you didn't," you don't care if there were other people around you, you need to let go of the bottled-up feelings you had for the past year. and so you wail, and wail, and wail, and yell about how much of an asshole he is for leaving you alone. cursing every entity that exists for not protecting your beloved enough. the anger through your voice seeps in but you know deep inside that he's not an asshole. you're just mad and you don't have any way to cope but this.
but your cries have been met with silence, a daily reminder that he's really not here with you. and it breaks you. 
"i love you so much, i miss you so much, i'm sorry for being mean. rest well, my beloved, you have done so much." you say and seal it with a kiss before going back home, if you could still call it that.
every year when this dreaded day arrives, you pick yourself up and go to his gravesite. but this time, you spend your time telling him new hobbies you picked up on, adventures you've gone through, and stories that you have already told him before.
when he was still around, he would ask some questions and reply with either a comment or a laugh.
but this time you were only met with silence.
conversations with him never sounded the same.
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20XX
years had gone by without him. you didn't know how you did it either. every day is a new pain that you have to face but you suck it up anyway.
tonight is just a typical night, you were tired from managing the shop and just finished reading kento a book. nonetheless, you prepare yourself a meal as you feel your stomach growling.
as you sit down at the dinner table, you notice something incredibly wrong.
this is the first time you have prepared a portion enough for one.
that thought alone terrified you to the core.
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every night you miss his voice still. you wish the voice messages that he left you on the phone would suffice but they didn't. through the phone, his voice doesn't sound as soft and as caring compared to what you usually hear when he's around. but it's not like you can do anything about it, can you?
you have gone through every voice message that he sent you, hundreds and hundreds of them, but you never get tired of it. it has been your lullaby for the past years. you convince yourself that this is the same as when you hear his words fresh from his lips, but you know it's not. it will never be the same. you miss the sound of his actual voice. every laughter, every chuckle, every syllable that escapes his mouth, you miss it. 
the sound from your device isn't as comforting as it was, and it scares you to think that at some point, you will forget what his actual voice sounds like. you didn't like that thought one bit. 
he had flooded your senses. his touch, his smell, his voice, his love, it had invade all of you and has become a part of you and you're afraid that one of those will be forgotten so you desperately try to keep everything alive. 
even when he's not.
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you're old now. wrinkles have adorned your whole body and you're not as strong as you used to.
but your love towards kento remained the same. it has become stronger, in fact. being old sometimes makes your memories a bit blurry but everything about your lover is something that you could never forget.
you browse through your photos in the album that has been left. you stroke through his pictures like you can still feel the heat through his skin. you miss the feel of his sharp features and the soft gaze of his eyes. you miss the way he would kiss every part of you and show you how much he loves you in every way possible.
everything still feels like it's yesterday. while everybody moved on, you stayed. deep inside you're still living in a time where kento was existing. you know he would've loved your nephews, nieces, and your grandchildren.
after him, you never loved anyone. you could never love anyone other than him. how could you, when he's all that plagued your mind, you keep on trying to keep his legacy alive, not a part of him forgotten, that he will always be remembered. 
you've been diagnosed a chronic heart disease, but whenever a pain pangs in your heart, you're sure it's not your illness, but the pain of being left alone by a lover who swore to stay by your side.
you know you don't have much time left, and you have come to terms with it, happy, even. you want to meet your lover once again. you want to see kento right before your very eyes and reach him just like you did in your youth.
so by the summer, you have decided to visit kuantan, malaysia with your family.
it's the place you wanted to avoid the most but you know now for sure you're brave enough to visit it. he would've wanted you to go here, he wanted to go here. even if you're a little late, you're glad to make it just in time.
your eldest granddaughter have been guiding you along the shore. you bask in the fresh air and the sound of the waves from the ocean. every thing is so peaceful, but you wish kento was here to witness it with you.
you inhale the air with a weak smile in your face.
one of your nephews then had helped you tuck in for the night.
it was so peaceful. and for the first time in years, you have finally let out a big and genuine smile.
you feel your eyes getting heavy and you know it's going to be the last. and you've never felt any happier.
October 31, 20XX
you have finally died twice.
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you were finally buried next to the love of your life. 
in your funeral, your family used the picture you took a long time ago, back when you were 27, mourning and incredibly heartbroken for the lost of your lover.
the kind elderly photographer from the studio you took your photo from was confused as to why you could have been taking one while you're young and looking healthy.
"i don't want to pry sweetheart, but if you're still young and healthy, why are you taking a picture now?" she asked, but you don't mind it one bit.
"when i die i want to look like me and my husband were the same age," you answered with a big smile on your face.
since i too, died that day, you would add but decided against it.
the lady seems taken aback but appreciates the sentiment behind it anyway.
you let out a wide smile so that when both of your pictures are put beside each other, it would look like the one you wore when he was still around. 
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when you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the blue sky and a fresh breeze of air. you felt the grass tickle against your skin and it was pleasant. when you get up, you feel your body get lighter, it's as if you weren't old, that you were back from your youth. you looked on your arms and every wrinkle that you remember being present there was all gone.
you look around you and you see a very pleasant scenery. there were trees around and from far away, the splashes of the ocean can be heard. for some reason, everything feels light, including your heart. some butterflies swarm around you like you were a flower, you reach your hand out, letting some of them sit on the tip of your finger.
you were enjoying the company of the butterflies and taking in the beautiful scene before you.
"darling," 
you hear a very familiar voice, and your eyes immediately widen
this isn't a dream right? this is really happening, right?
you whip your head towards the direction of the voice and there you see it.
your lover, your soul, the love of your life, nanami kento.
he looks so ethereal, so peaceful, especially with the soft smile spread across his face.
you're dumbfounded but you take a step, and then another, and another, until you ran your way across the grassy field and leap into his arms. and it was—
oh.
it was so warm. just like how you remembered. you feel your tears fall from your face and weep as you bury your face on the crook of his neck. you decide to take it all in. you inhale his scent, one you have been longing for years, your hug tightens around him. oh he feels so warm. so, so, warm. it's like time has never gone by.
"i'm so sorry," kento said, apology obvious from his voice, "i'm so sorry i was weak—"
"no!" you say as you immediately face him.
"do not say that darling, don't, i know you have fought long and hard enough," you carefully lift your hand to touch his pretty face. you were shaking but you were careful, like he was something fragile, something you're afraid to break. when you finally place it on his face, he immediately leans towards your touch. "t-this is real, right?" he nods, his smile growing much wider, "we don't have to be apart any longer," kento declared with full confidence.
that sentence alone urged you to chase his lips onto yours, the kiss was full of yearning, it was passionate but never aggressive. all of those years, you share silent longings and the hurt between your lips. kento pulled you deeper into the kiss but he was careful enough to handle you gently. every apology was spilled onto both of your lips as you felt tears stream across his face, and that's how you knew he longed for you as you did for him.
without words, you knew how much kento appreciated you for keeping his memories alive. it was enough for you to know that he listened to every word you let out as you read the books in his study, every word that you sang during his birthdays, and every word that you let out whenever you visited his grave. he knew all of it. he watched you weep in sorrow which broke his heart because he doesn't know how to comfort you, but he greatly loved and cherished every gesture. and so, it is his turn to return all of it back to you. 
and he now has forever to give you.
without words, you know what his lips spelled against yours.
i love you.
for once, the love that was once lost, the love that you had to let go free—
finally came back to you.
both of you have finally turned 28.
then, you feel the clock started ticking again until eternal ends.
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another note: this is officially the first fic i wrote and i hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it. i feel like this piece will always be so dear in my heart. rest in peace, my beloved nanami kento, you have fought long and hard. 
1K notes · View notes
muzansfangs · 1 month
Text
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Bloodstain.
Starring: Aizen Sosuke x f!reader; mention to Shuhei Hisagi, Shinji Hirako, Ichimaru Gin, Shunsui Kyoraku;
Format: multi-chapters story;
Warnings for this chapter: domestic dynamics, suggestive themes, language, fear of storms, denial, sexual tension, struggling with feelings, mention to unprotected sex, breeding, violence, injuries;
Plot: To ease off the tension between you two, you decide to take Sosuke out to buy himself clothes, a phone and anything else he may need during his permanence in the World of the livings. Visiting shops, you mark some lines and establish rules to make your forced cohabitation more pleasant. What a shame you keep on repeating yourself the umpteenth ‘kiss’ is just an accident not bound to happen again.
MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | TO THE NEXT CHAPTER
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𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐚.
After five hours spent in avoiding Sosuke, you had come to the conclusion you just had to put an end to this circus. The day had not started the way you had planned, but it was not too late to actually try to fix things. After all, your forced cohabitation had barely begun. If you did not confront him now, things would have decidedly degenerated in the near future. Before locking yourself up in your bedroom, you had caught a glimpse of him wandering through the living room and directing his attention to your library. At least, he was reading, not destroying your flat or the whole city. Still, you did not think he was still doing that. He was too quiet. Suspiciously quiet.
Therefore, stepping out of your nest, you made your way to the living room, only to be taken aback by the sight of him still sitting comfortably onto your sofa with his nose buried into a novel. You had definitely underestimated his capacity of maintaining a deep and constant concentration for hours. How stupid of you to forget he was built differently from common mortals. He was a self-proclaimed god, was he not? He had trascended reality, challenged the quintessence of the world.
Staring at him from the entrance to the living room, shoulder against the wall and arms against your chest, you also took notice that he had removed his eye-patch. Handsome, almost looking regal, he was already bewitching you again. You had almost forgotten how much his eyes had always affected you. His features, sharp yet gentle, made your stomach twist and turn for the war waging in your head between your morals and your lust for him. You had to keep your distance from him. It was not going to be easy, you were well-aware of that, but you had to try not to be stuck in the deadly web he was subtly sewing around you.
“Staring is rude. Hasn’t your father taught you that? Shame on me, I should not be surprised, if he has not. It’s Kurosaki Isshin, after all” Sosuke’s snarky remark brought back on Earth.
He was such a jerk at times.
You rolled your eyes, ambling towards the couch with an annoyed expression plastered over your face “As if I would waste my time staring at you. I was merely doing my job: checking on you. — you punctuated, the fact he had caught you red-handed upsetting you to no end — What are you reading, anyway?” you asked, plopping down onto the opposite side of your couch with a sigh. You had missed your forniture. As much as you loved the Soul Society, you had to admit the beds and sofas were not that comfortable.
“One of your books. I found it in the novels section, but I believe you misplaced it” Sosuke stated, flipping a page seemingly unbothered by your presence.
You quirked your eyebrows up, squinting to get a glimpse of the cover to read the title “Huh? That’s impossible, I personally make sure not a book is out of its genre. — you reasoned, scratching the back of your neck thoughtfully — What is it?” you asked then, only for your jaw to drop to the floor.
“It’s ‘Fifty shades of Grey’. That’s porn. Low quality porn, to be fair” Sosuke replied, before delicately closing the book and settling it down onto the coffee table in front of you.
Out of the vast collection of books you had, he had really picked up that one. You felt your cheeks boil, you eyes frantically averting from him to the volume under your nose, as you cleared your throat to utter out some excuses. Did you feel ashamed for owning something tagged as erotic? It was just a stupid book, a gift from Shinji to mess around with you.
“It was a gift and… It’s a novel, anyway. It’s just a little steamy” you stammed, avoiding his gaze at any cost.
“Oh, is that so? Interesting friends you have. Who was it from, if I may ask?” he inquired, propping his hand onto the palm of his hand, leaning forward to pull your gaze back on him. He did not even had to try to catch your attention. He always had it. As if you were strong enough to evade his magnetic gaze, though, you pretended not to be affected by those caramel eyes. Or his whole persona, to be fair.
“Why should I tell you?” you replied, grasping the book and standing back up to put it into its original place. You would have done anything in that very moment not to be forced to look at him.
“Oh, just to take note of who are your real friends and who merely wants to sleep in your bed” Sosuke cooed, causing you to flinch.
“Excuse me? None of my friends has such ambitions and, even if they did, this is not your business. I have already told you not to meddle into my life” you countered back, your voice taking a warning edge that seemed to amuse him.
Sosuke smiled, that subtle smile you viscerally hated “Are you so naive to believe men have pure intentions, when it comes down to a woman? — he questioned you, swiftly standing up as well and walking up to you slowly, the stately pace and elegance of a panther stalking down its prey — A friend doesn’t gift such scandalous books to a girl. Not unless he wants to send her a message” he explained his point of view, causing you to sigh in exasperation and clasp your hands together not to lash out at him. He apparently had no intention of dropping the topic and, above all, he was attempting to get you to talk. He wanted informations from you, this much was evident. But you were not going to tell him anything, especially given the altercations between him and Shinji. You did not really want your chaotic friend to go through more psychological trauma thanks to your new roomer.
“No, I’m not. — you started curtly, gaze hardening — In fact, I let you fuck me only because I agreed to sleep with you, not because I thought you were genuinely offering me a shoulder to cry on” you countered back, before glancing at the clock and realizing it was almost noon. Well, considering you had to help him settle down anyway, you could help yourself out of this conversation and tell him to follow you out of your flat.
As Sosuke stared down at you, seemingly resentful for your answer, you just walked towards the door and grasped your wallet and keys from the bowl at its left. You expected him to talk, say anything, but you were genuinely surprised when he silently followed you out of the door. It was irritating, so much that you had to be the one to break the ice after your snippy comment.
“Aren’t you even asking me where I am heading to and if you are allowed to come with me?” you asked him, locking the door behind you.
“Why should I bother questioning you? It’s not like I’m not going to follow you anywhere you go, love” he casually replied, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt absent-mindedly.
Love. Now he had started using nicknames. Where did it come from? Why was he burying the hatchet, even though you had just wounded his ego? You eyebrow twitched as you shoved your key into the pocket of your shorts, head whipping in his direction only to find him placidly smiling at you.
You sighed “Love? Really? Sosuke, cut the crap—“.
It happened too quickly for your brain to register it. One second you were staring daggers at him, the next one your back was flattened against the wall and his hand was clasped over your mouth to prevent you from talking. He was not upset, then again he did not seem to be irate. Reading him was hard, he was too imperturbable to be affected by human emotions. You looked at him wide-eyed, muffling noises of protests reverberating against his palm as he hushed you by raising the index of his free hand.
“Calm down. — he commenced, cocking his eyebrow up as he watched your features relax gradually, albeit your hands were still scrambling up in a pathetic attempt to tug his hand down and free your mouth — Did you forget what I have told your neighbour? We are supposed to act like a couple outside your flat. Can I remove my hand from your mouth, or are you going to keep up that stupid attitude of yours?” he asked you, watching your eyes grow round and then be reduced to two fissures.
He had a point. He always had a point and throwing hands in the corridor was not exactly a good idea, given your proximity to Mrs. Watanabe’s door. You were one hundred percent sure that hag was staring at you from the peephole, confident you were going to make a false step. Against your will, you nodded your head slowly and inhaled sharply before raising your hand to cup his cheek in your palm and sneering at him.
“Alright, we are on the same page about keeping a low profile. — you said lowly, through gritted teeth — But once we are back home, you will keep your hands for yourself” you clarified, before slowly and gently slipping out of his grasp.
Ignoring him never worked. Acting like a couple in public was probably the equivalent of letting the population of a small medieval town drag you to the village square and tie you up to a stick to burn you alive. Sosuke was going to be your excruciating death. The worst part of it was that you did not have the strength to run away from your feelings for too long. Not after chasing them away for years. You were tired.
But then, he made comments that got under your skin and you admonished yourself for having let yourself think he could have been a good match for you, if only he had not almost massacred your whole family and your friends.
“As you wish. — he replied, his presence looming over your frame from behind as you exited the building — Admittedly, I do not think you are going to last long without my attentions, darling”.
Yes, in times like that, you desired nothing more than kicking him twice in the guts and feed his genitalia to a crocodile at the zoo. Instead, though, you decided to keep your chin up and head towards the main shopping area of the city “Believe it or not, I have been living a relatively peaceful and satisfactory life until Shunsui appointed me to babysit you” you replied, an hint of pride in your voice as you hastily crossed the road not to be rolled over by a car you had failed to spot.
The driver’s insults pierced your ears as you did your best to ignore him and resumed your march. The man standing right at your left, however, was not going to let it go.
“Are you sure Shunsui appointed you to babysit me? Maybe you’re mistaken” he commented dryly, watching you roll your eyes and grasp him by his forearm roughly to pick up your paces and reach your destination faster. The less you spoke to him, the better. You had no time to bicker with him over such trivial matters, not when your stomach was protesting as well. You craved food and you knew a cheap place not too far from there, where you used to grab your lunch on your way back home from school.
Sosuke shot you a displeased glare, his hand gripping yours to stop you. His hooded brown chocolate eyes bored into yours, slender fingers slipping between your smaller ones to lock your hands and, factually, forcing you to halt. Your eyes met his once again, his lean frame making you feel so miserable once again as he tugged you closer to him, this time more carefully.
“Y/N” he spoke firmly, a warning for you to settle down and listen for once. In the middle of a crowded street, mere inches separating your bodies, you lost yourself into his gaze. It was not the first time it happened. You should have known better than trusting yourself around him.
Sosuke’s free hand skimmed over your arm, resting onto the top of your shoulder, goosebumps pattering your skin under his touch “I know no one respects me. Despite that, you once did. What did I do to be undeserving of your company?”.
You frowned, blinking to clear your own clouded mind “What? We live together now. Whether I like it or not, I’m stuck with you”.
“Don’t lie, Y/N. Your body is here, but your soul is desperately attempting to run away from me”.
His words rang in your head, a lump in your throat you could not swallow forming. You had not let your guard down, not since you had slept together, still he was capable of reading your mind. You clenched your jaw, sucking in deeper breath, as you shook your head.
“Get out of my head”.
“I don’t think I will. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever had the pleasure to be in” he replied, a faint grin crossing his lips as he shook his head and dipped his head down.
You were unable to talk back, his lips a magnet pulling you in, hypnotizing you, as you tightened your grip on his hand. No, you had to resist, you had to push him back, to block him out of your head. But a kid passing by ruthlessly bumped onto your back, your balance failing you as Sosuke caught you promptly in his arms and stole a brief kiss from you. Lips pressing against your soft ones for a few seconds, yet causing a turmoil of emotions into your stomach. You scrunched up your nose, feet finding their place back onto the cobblestone as he tentatively let go of you.
The moment you stepped back, hand reaching up to your mouth, you stared up at Sosuke stupefied only to notice he was smiling almost imperceptibly. He licked his lips, his tongue swiping out to brush over his bottom lip and a guttural hum reverberated through his chest.
“You’ve changed your chapstick” he commented, before hinting at the road with his chin and ambling towards the busy street leisurely, silently awaiting for you to join him.
And you did, you followed him, with your fingers still lingering right where his sinful lips had met yours. You reprimended yourself for having enjoyed it, but you refrained from shouting at him he had blatantly ignored one of the first rules you had set. It had been just a casuality. He was standing too close, that kid had the same grace of an elephant and the politeness of an ogre. It was not even a real kiss. Insignificant touches did not count, right? You really wished you could explain that to your heart too.
You soon found out Sosuke had a classy taste for expensive fabrics and brands. His charm even helped to get a discount, at times, and you were seething in rage. With the amount of money he had, that man did not someone to deduct such generous amount of moneys from the price. Right, he was filthy rich. You had literally goggled your eyes, when Shunsui had given you the access to Sosuke’s accounts. The Soul Society had made sure to change the local currency into Yen. You were genuinely surprised he had saved so much money from his days as a Captain.
“I can’t believe it…” you muttered under your breath, as you entered into your last shop for the day. You needed to buy him some boxers, but he had pushed you right into an Armani shop because he was not going to wear ‘cheap boxers’.
“Still upset I’m not broke?” he replied amusedly, as you two wandered through the shelves to look for the lingerie section.
You huffed, rolling your eyes as you picked up a pair of black boxers and showed them to him “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I mean, Shunsui is the Captain Commander and he’s not that wealthy” you spoke your mind, watching Sosuke examine the fabric absent-mindedly before looking at the size.
“He’s constantly dissipating his savings in women and saké. — he replied monotonously, before glancing at a point at your back with a sly expression on his face — I never had to pay for sex and I’m not an alcoholic”.
With that he handed you the boxers you had chosen for him and gestured at you for purchasing a couple of other ones too. You scoffed, his words pulling out a bitter chortle from you, as you whipped your head around and rummaged through the different assortments of boxers on the shelf. He was such a bastard. You did not even spare him a glance to check at what he was doing, as you walked up to the cashier and told her you had to pay for some articles.
However, on your way out of the shop, Sosuke was quick to catch up to you. You noticed he was holding a bag in his hand, something that made you arch your eyebrows “What is it?” you asked.
“Curiosity killed the cat, huh?”.
“You know what? Nevermind. I don’t even care”.
”Not even if it’s a little something to apologize for having offended you earlier?” he hazardously tempted you, causing your ears to prick up rizzare. Did he really buy something for you? Did he think he could get on your right side so easily?
You sighed “Really now? Why spending your money for me? It’s not like you really yearn to earn my forgiveness or something. This is surely one of your bluffs”.
“Ouch, you hurt my feelings. — Sosuke defended himself, the sky turning gradually purple above you two as you headed back towards your home — You’re a broken record. I never lied to you, I think I have abundantly made myself clear”.
He had, that was true, but you wished you could trust him blindly. You wished he was not the user of a deceitful zanpakuto, you wished he was not the man you had fallen for and tormented yourself not to love anymore. But above all, you truly wanted to erase those intimate moments you spent in his bed. Sosuke was a snake, a wizard, a bewitcher.
“It’s a nice gesture, Sosuke. But I am pretty sure you know that a simple gift will not make it up for everything you’ve done. I don’t think I can accept anything coming from you” you replied, only to be feel his hand cup your hip and pull you closer to him.
With his lips grazing the shell of your ear, you felt your breath hitch in your throat “Then, forgive my language, why did you accept my cock so easily? Further more, why did you let me breed you?” he whispered darkly.
The sound of a thunder rolling in the distance was all you needed to shove him off of you and run all the way down to your home. The warmth coiling in your lower abdomen, the irriration and rage blinding you when he got under your skin were something you could not control and it was driving you insane.
You did not want to die young. You did not want to die by the sword of a Captain, or a Lieutenant. Despite being the oldest of the team, and obviously not the weakest, you were not confident enough to wander down the mazy streets of the Seireitei. You had miraculously entered the walls without your brother and the rest of the gang, after escaping a tremendous fight with a Captain. The same Captain that had sent chills down your spine for his easygoing nature, but cold homicidal rage.
The same Captain that had almost cut your arm off of your shoudler. Hand pressing onto the wound, you were jogging down the streets, hoping no one recognized you. Some shinigamis did not pay much attentions to you, your uniform clearly confusing them.
But a guy with a tattoo over his face had been following you around for quite a while now. You had not even had the guts to look him straight in the eye, someone referring to him as ‘Lieutenant Hisagi’ had scared you off. You needed a shelter, you needed a place to heal your wounds and look for Rukia.
Your vision was getting blurry, though. Your limbs hurt and you eventually slumped down against a wall with a pained expression and the certainty you were going to die. Your eyes closed, a whimper leaving your lips, as you hoped no one found you like that. But a powerful spiritual pressure squashed you down onto the ground. Your wary eyes snapped open, a familiar face blessing your vision as a man with glasses knelt down in front of you.
The white haori, that reiatsu. He was a Captain. You were dead!
Your hand gripped your zanpakuto, swinging it towards him, as you coiled like a squirrel when he reached his hand out to touch your cheek. But he stopped you.
“I don’t want to hurt you”.
Curled up in a ball on your bed, you flinched at the sound of the umpteenth thunder exploding outside, the rain pattering against the window of your bedroom. You had not even eaten in Sosuke’s company, barely talking to him if not to inform him you were going to sleep. This happened around midnight. It was two o’ clock and you were restless, nervous and … Scared of storms.
You did not want to tell him about your weakness. You had been made fun of for it in the past and you were in no mood to argue anymore for the day. Probably a glass of water could calm you down. Or this is what you told yourself, whilst you walked barefoot in the dark corridor to reach the kitchen.
The door of his room was closed, your feet making no sound on your way back to your room. But a sudden thunder caused your grip on the glass to loosen and you watched helplessly as it made contact with the hard floor. Splinters of glass and a puddle of water littered the tiles and you let out a screech that caught the attention of your housemate.
Door creaking open, Sosuke leaned against the doorframe. No shirt, grey pants on and his chiseled abs in full display, he narrowed his eyes at you and the scene unfolding before his droopy eyes. You had never really seen him like that, partially disheveled, more human. He was not faking his sleep, at least.
“Sorry. Go back to sleep, I will clean up” you fretted, looking for a rag to wipe away the water and collect the shattered glass.
“Turn the lights on, at least. You’ll cut your feet like that” he tiredly observed, finger switching the lights on.
You were about to snap at him, ranting about how you were not a toddler and how you could perfectly take care of yourself, when you squirmed out in fear again and the thunder gave Sosuke the hint of what was happening right before his eyes. Trembling like a leaf, you stared at him like a soaked, scared kitten, his lips parting in disbelief.
You feared being judged.
“It’s pathetic, I know” you blurted out in defeat.
He did not reply immediately, merely glancing at his room behind him before stepping aside “Come inside” he offered.
You furrowed your brows, his offer sounding strangely soothing and you searched for his eyes to find some further infos about his intentions.
The shinigami sighed, folding his arms across his chest “I don’t want to hurt you”.
Those words again. This promise of not harming you, the way you found yourself entering his room in search for protection felt like a deja-vu. However, as you sat onto the edge of his bed and he joined you, grasping a black t-shirt from the desk and wearing it, you could tell he had no intention to fool you in any way.
“If you don’t want to sleep alone, you can stay here” Sosuke said, before lying down onto his back.
You felt your cheeks heat up, foreteeth sinking onto your bottom lip “It’s inappropriate and… I don’t understand why you’re doing it anyway”.
“We’re far beyond the ‘appropriate’ etiquette, don’t you think? — he bantered, watching you shift onto your seat and slowly lying down next to him, rolling onto your side to face the wall — Also, I don’t mind you sleeping next to me”.
You mentally cursed yourself for having accepted, but when his arm snaked around you, pulling your back against his body to spoon you, you felt safe. Not a single thunder scared you anymore that night, not as you fell asleep in his arms.
As selfish as he was though, Sosuke had his reasons for wanting you there. Since you two had slept next to each other, he had learnt to appreciate the company of a warm body next to his one, your body.
Maybe feeling was not as detrimental as he had always thought. Maybe you were worth the shot. Probably, you were the cure to his solitude.
AUTHOR NOTE.
Hi, there!
I honestly did not think so many people were going to be invested in this story. Thank you so much for showing appreciation to my work, it means a lot! Having said that, I have been looking forward to write this chapter. Whilst there will be other chapters in which Sosuke is going to be involved into mundane situations, shopping with his ‘so-called-girlfriend’ is something I really enjoyed picturing. Sorry for the late update! I promise you very spicy things in the next one. As for now, thank you so much for your feedback!
Love,
— Luce
TAGS: @pseudowho @seireiteihellbutterfly @onyxino @areyouflying @bakugosgirl01 @noirfan12 @velaenaa
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florenceafternoon · 2 months
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━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━
You know when you read a fic and love it so much that you want to find one exactly like it but different. Anyways, more Alternate Universe fics.
For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.
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These first few fics are all by elanev91 on ao3 (ao3 account required).
Force of Habit
Lily's been riding the same train back and forth to work for the last two and a half years and lowkey fancies the guy who sits one row up from her usual seat.
TW: parent death discussed
The fic that inspired the intro (I love it so much you don't understand)
Waffle Wars
There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.
every day I like you a little mower
Lily was JUST trying to be a good daughter and help her father with his yard work. Too bad the bloke next door is always outside and also the most annoyingly talkative person on the planet.
we could be gigantic series
Lily and James have been best friends since they were kids. Uni, a band, a trip abroad, a few tours and a couple of albums later, things start to change. Half an email fic, half a regular ol' narrative.
it wasn't a pity invite
Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omg i’m so sorry
The one where they’re both doctors - also Northern Irish Lily.
One Direction on the A4
James and Lily are having quite the morning. James thinks a little nonsense might fix it. Or James is a dork and Lily loves it.
Ye Olde Smut Fic
Student recruitment fairs suck, but never fear -- Professor Evans and Professor Potter have figured out how to make it a little less annoying.
Professor AU, Modern AU, Muggle AU. Smutty ridiculousness. Plot questionable.
The tragedy is that they live in America
The Yeast I Can Do
Dr Lily Evans had an absolute shit day at work. Luckily, there's a bakery nearby that offers a course that she hopes will take her mind off of things.
For my fellow jily & wolfstar enjoyers, go do yourself a favour and check out their other works on ao3.
Teenage Kicks by @arianatwycross
It all starts with Lily being hired to be the bands tour photographer, then she actually meets the band and she quickly becomes absorbed by their fast lifestyle, their pranks and the hot lead singer. But its not exactly simple to be crushing on a famous Rockstar, is it?
Foam Hearts by Sleepinghookah (on ao3)
Coffee shop AU. A story in which James and Lily are blind - both in entirely different ways.
I promise he's not a bad person. You've got to read till the end and it'll make sense
When The Skies Are Gray by @athenasparrow
“Carry me?” Lily scoffed, biting her lip so she wouldn’t laugh in his face. Because he was about to do something nice for her. “I’m not some damsel in distress who can’t walk! I just need a bit of cover to make it to the tube.”
OR: two strangers, one umbrella, and a little bit of fate.
Tranquil Solitude (Until You Came Along) by @thelighthousestale
Prompt: I thought I went skinny dipping alone but oh my god this beautiful human is also here naked and I am a fool
All Lily wanted to do was take a nice, quiet swim on a hot day. And then James Potter showed up. And Lily had already removed her clothes for the private swim.
it would have been sweet by @firefeufuego
‘Lily,’ he says in her ear, voice slurred and barely audible above the pulsing bass of the music, ‘is there a reason I shouldn’t marry her?’
She can taste the truth bittersweet on her tongue: Yes of course there is, you colossal, darling idiot, you’re meant to be mine. But there’s the ring on Charlotte’s finger and there’s the one Lily found in Eddie’s sock drawer, and how can she be this person? The one who steals someone’s fiancé on his stag night? That’s not who she is, that won’t be who she is. ‘Of course not, James. You’ll make each other so happy.’ She nearly chokes on the lie as it leaves her mouth, all the more so because most of it isn’t even a lie at all.
For my second chance romance girls
This Hope is Treacherous by @tinyluminaryzombie
Lily Evans and James Potter: Aquentiences, Academic rivals, and now, Friends.
Except "friends" doesn't exactly feel right but Lily's too scared to do anything about it. But as James and her keep acting like more-than-friends she's unraveling with the uncertainty of it all.
OR: Choosing to fall in love can be just as thrilling and terrifying as love at first sight.
The Viscount's Daughter by @ghostofbambifanfiction
The beautiful, vivacious, and decidedly redheaded daughter of the 16th Viscount of Rowena has stolen the heart of young Prince James. Trouble is, she couldn't be less interested in him.
Thought it was abandoned but the author posted a snippet recently so maybe not?
The Queen of the Quills - Jily Edition by @elliemarchetti 
Lily and Petunia read the Queen of the Quills' latest column on James Potter, while the bachelor announces to his friends that he intends to get married.
Quest for Camelot by the incredible @petalsthefish
After the legendary Excalibur sword is stolen, Lily and James embark on a quest to retrieve the lost weapon. Lily searches for the sword to prove she is capable of being a knight despite being a girl. James searches because his falcon, Marlene, is desperate to find it for her master, Merlin. Along the way, they attempt to outwit the sinister Ruber, navigate through magical obstacles, decode puzzling prophecies, and uncover surprising similarities between themselves.
As their journey progresses, they both cannot deny the feelings growing between them with each passing day. Will they make it out of the quest alive, or will one of them perish in the ever-growing darkness that threatens to swallow the entire realm if Ruber gets his hands on the sword?
Based on the 1998 movie Quest for Camelot, but with more plot and less singing
Fearlessly Red also by @ /petalsthefish
Red. It was such an interesting color to correlate with emotion because it was on both ends of the spectrum. On one end there was happiness, falling in love, passion, all that. On the other end was jealousy, fear and frustration. Maybe that's why James thought the nickname fit Lily so well.
or Bodyguard!James/Celebrity!Lily
Get A Room bt @chierafied
The long-awaited trip to London goes awry when Marlene chooses to spend time with her boyfriend - forcing Lily to share their room with none other than James Potter.
you don't know me (but I know you) by @emeralddoeadeer
Lily has a crush, she knows his face well but can only imagine his name; until they meet that is.
About Time by heartablaze (on ao3)
Before his final year started, James Potter offered to be a resident advisor for a first-year dorm. What he didn’t count on was dealing with a confusing redhead across the hall, hospital visits, hallway parties and writing his thesis the night before it was due. Blimey. (Muggle Uni AU)
Unexpectedly in Love by jamespotters_exgirlfriend (on ao3)
When Lily Evans entered her final year of uni, she certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with James Potter. And well, let’s just say love isn’t the only unexpected thing to come out of their relationship.
Far Post by @eastwindmlk
James Potter and his friends are very serious about their pub football league. So, when the new roster comes out and there is a new team on there, an all women's team, he and Sirius set out to investigate.
You Know How To Ball, I Know Aristotle by @wearingaberetinparis
Now that the global superstar, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Lily Evans and professional football player James Potter are together, they have to juggle the difficulties of a relationship in the public eye. Fresh off her World Tour, Lily Evans arrives at Wembley Stadium one year after James Potter first attended her show, to perform there for one final weekend before heading to the studio to record her next album. Her boyfriend, in the meantime, is off to Germany to play at the Euros for England. How will they ever make their relationship work when Lily is - so the press loves to imply - the least supportive WAG of the tournament?
sequal to And You Heard About Me (Ooh, We’ve Got Some Big Enemies!)
It's been a long time coming and it did not disappoint
I've recommended Three Swipes, You're Out by @naireides before, but I recently came across it's sequel making spirits bright
Sports star James Potter tries to pick Lily up on tinder. Lily Evans, a dedicated not sports fan is offended by the idea that someone thinks she wouldn't recognize James Potter's face. She laughs about it with her friends at a bar, until James Potter, who also frequents that bar, comes over to clarify that nope, he's on tinder, and he's definitely hitting on her.
...
She should have expected it to be hard, dating a celebrity, but somehow she and James make it work.
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winterarmyy · 1 year
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Until Then
A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.
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Summary: A mission back in time brought Y/N to an unexpected encounter with the man she fell in love with.
Words: 2.3k++
Pairing: 40s!bucky / avenger!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: melancholy-ish plot line with fluffy ending
Inspiration: "You still would've turn my head, even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were heading off to fight in the war" – Timeless (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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It was supposed to be a quick in and out mission. Y/N and Tony were sent back in time to 1944; one day before Captain America and the Howling Commandos deployed to their next mission at the Austrian Alps, in Europe.
The duo were supposed to retrieve some lost files regarding Hydra's hidden bunks and labs back in the days. After the fight with Thanos, there were rumours of the re-creation of Project Winter Soldier lead by an organization that once associated with Hydra. So, they need all the information they could get their hands on; including the ones that are lost decades ago.
Unfortunately for them SHIELD used to be shitty at storing physical files back in the days. To be fair they still do, especially now that technology had advanced. Every single information were at the tip of their fingers; from typical criminal records to the name of every single doctor and nurses who were present when the person was born.
They literally have everything. And nothing at the same time.
And honestly, the mission was quick as they predicted. Tony managed to scanned the needed files and some others that he thought would be important. He's extra like that too, which was a plus.
However quick the mission supposed to be, they barely make it though, especially when the guards were suspicious of Tony's apparently "hippie" beard. It was such a shame. So much for dressing up in 40's style. They kind of nailed the outfit and aesthetics, according to Steve anyway.
However, thankfully by the time they got out of the facility they managed fit right in with crowd. The wave of people lead the duo along its current, more and more people joined in to the point that they weren't able to find any quiet place to activate their time device.
"I thought we're still in WWII? Why is there fucking a parade in the middle of the day?" Tony being unapologetically sarcastic as always.
Y/N looked around as she observed, there was couple of people animatedly, albeit, excitedly exclaimed to the streak of success of Captain America and the Howling Commandos in the war.
A little to the right of them, were a group of children who were semi-cosplaying as Captain America and his dream team, passionately play-fighting with the enemies as if they were in a theater performance.
"I guess they're celebrating small wins. Steve and his team did have several successful raids since the battle at Azzano." It was in fact true; what Y/N speculated was exactly the very reason of the current occasion.
Tony simply shrugged as he stretched his neck higher to hopefully find the end the crowd, "Sure, just keep your eyes open for a place to time jump. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of another war." Y/N nodded as she looked around the sides, wondering if there's an empty alleyway that they could use.
The more sketchy looking it was, the better.
The crowd was chaotic with different mix of conversations and cheers; voices intertwining with one another, each sentences criss and crosses into indecipherable storyline. But even then, Y/N could recognized that breathy, slightly giggly laughter anywhere.
Especially when he brushed right by her.
Y/N was well aware of how madly in love she was with Bucky even with the coy cat-and-mouse game they were playing for months. She knew exactly the hold he had on her soul that at some point, she was conviced that he still would've turn her head in any lifetime.
But that idea was only supposed to be one of the secrets in her mind; the thoughts of a hopeless romantic that she was. Certainly, she didn't dreamt of the vision for it come true. But there she was, frozen on her spot when the time stood still on the crowded street in 1944; fortuitously crossing path with man she fell in love with.
There weren't any suitable explanation for this other than it was fate. In that short milliseconds, Y/N saw the resemblance of the sight to a memory of hers in the crowded room a few short years ago; his left arm slung around Steve's neck, letting his weight leaned on his super soldier friend as he let out a hearty laughter.
There were only slight difference from what she saw before and what she currently seeing; Bucky wore an all black suit at that party, now he's wearing his military uniform in a parade. Bucky was dead drunk on Asguardian mead that night, now he's as sober as a soldier deprived of liquor. Bucky's left hand was adorned with high-tech vibranium metal, now that very hand was still made of flesh and blood, still alive.
During that brief moment of revelation, she truly believed that they were supposed to find this.
Whatever this is supposed to be; Fate? Love? Both? She was not sure either.
She was so stuck on holding her gaze on his back as the young soldier walked a few steps away from her that she didn't notice how the people in the surge glared at her unmoving state or how she had been astray from Tony.
Well, at least it only lasted until someone bumped into her and she staggered backwards, inevitably fell on the ground.
Y/N groaned but quickly patted her pockets to find her time device was still there. I mean, she can never be sure if it was just an accident that she fell or someone intended to distract her while pick-pocketing her belongings.
Though other people would probably already stood on  their feet but Y/N was still on the dusty road, as she was busy recollecting her mental state rather than her physical.
That was when a calloused hand reached out to her, offering a kind help.
She didn't think twice to take his hand, let alone looking up at his face when she gripped it tight enough to make a solid foundation to push herself against the gravity, "Oh dear me! Thank you so much, sir. I really..." She lost her momentum when she met the pale blue of his eyes, "...appreciate it." She ended the sentence breathlessly.
It's Bucky. Her brain tried to let her process the thought. It was not her Bucky but still... it's Bucky. Her eyes then fell to where their skin touched. Warm and gentle. His left hand felt the exact same as his right. It made her to cave in the urge to hold it a little longer, to savour the memory of what it could've been; not that she weren't fond of his vibranium arm but curiosity can be such a fickle thing.
Bucky smiled, "Glad to help, my lady." And oh dear does he smiled effortlessly, freely; as if he knew he deserved to feel joy in his life.
Even if she didn't want to, she had to let go of his hand after a few seconds too long of holding it when she was already up and ready to go. She returned his smile though her heart was barely tough enough to stop the spreading of its cracks, "Really, I can't thank you enough."
In reality, it was probably unnecessary to thank him that much for helping her to get back on her feet, but Y/N wasn't really thanking him just for that.
Unbeknownst to him, she was thanking him for not holding back a smile, for not overthinking about the things he might have done to draw a conclusion that he was undeserving have the luxury to smile, for unapologetically just living the life he supposed to have.
She thanked him for it.
Bucky chuckled amusingly as he slightly titled his head to the side. A charming pull on the corner of his lips revealed a smile that could swoon anyone on sight, especially her.
"Well, we're having a little party tonight before deploying to Europe tomorrow. So, maybe you can thank me by letting me bring you to the dance? How about that, doll?" She almost forgot that Steve was there next to him, until Bucky references the word "we".
And especially when his words might just pulled Y/N's heartstrings in ways that she could never thought someone could do. It was awfully slow, almost too delicate of a pull, but each inches of it pained her deeply.
If it was up to her, she would've said yes a million times over but she knew she can't. And the voice in her earpiece reminded her of it, "Y/N, we gotta go." Tony urged as he watched her from the corner of the street.
Y/N tried her best not let her facial expression flatter, "Unfortunately, I can't. I'm going back to my hometown today." It wasn't exactly a lie when she made that excuse.
"Ohh, I see. You're not from here, huh?" Bucky was very honest as his reaction clearly showed his disappointment. Though not at her, just at the situation.
Her brows briefly crunch into an apologizing plead before she boldly grabbed him by the collar of his uniform, slightly pulled him down to her level, while the other hand cupped one side of his face.
She tiptoed herself upwards as she pressed a firm yet sweet kiss on the smooth skin of his cheek and whispered against it, "But, I hope this would do."
Lost for words, heck, Bucky was lost for thoughts. What was left was his own heart thumping hard and loud that he bet Steve can hear it from where he was standing. His cheeks became warmer by the second and the redness spreads even to the tip of his ears.
Of course he had his cheek kissed before, but not like this. None of them felt like this. They were always too fast, too hasty.
Hers was different. It lingered a little longer, gently leaving her imprint on him. He can feel her grip on his collar, the stroke of her thumb on his cheek and of course the soft pressure of her lips on the other side of his face. He could everything so particularly.
Bucky was rendered speechless even after she pulled her lips away; it was too soon for his comfort. Eyes wide open, his lips slightly parted as he let himself lost in the pleasant surprise.
He thought she would parted herself and ran away feeling embarrassed, but she did the very opposite. Y/N lead his forehead to lean on hers, tip of their nose grazed, and her lips hovered above his.
So close, yet refused to merge with one another.
Y/N whispered quietly, as if she was talking to herself, "You'll be fine, James. You'll find home in the future. I promise."
Her voice trembled as Bucky just noticed how wet her eyes were becoming. With that amount of tears in them, he wondered if her sight were all blurry now.
Y/N took in a shaky breath before continuing, "You just need to survive the winter and trust me at the end of that season, you'll reach the sun again." Her thumbs softly traces his cheeks as she spoke.
Bucky didn't quite understand what she was saying but if he loosely translate it, it would mean that 'she believed that he'll be back soon after the war'. But then again, he felt like there were some major things that was missing from the context that he came up with.
Y/N's earpiece send another transmission of Tony's voice, "Okay, seriously. Come on, Juliette. Your other Romeo is waiting for you." She couldn't help but to smile as she closed her eyes, letting the excess tears fall down to her cheeks.
She didn't want to say goodbye, as she knew that this was not where their story ends, at least not his; that's for sure. So, she simply smiled up at him with a reassuring look in her eyes before stepping back. She then, briefly turned her attention to the dumbfounded Steve, gracing him with a similar smile before walking away.
It was just a few steps away when her hand was caught in between someone's, "Hey!" Y/N looked over her shoulder to see Bucky; wide eye, blinking in disbelief and blushing red, all at the same time, "WiIl... Will I see you again?" He asked, though hesitant; wondering if he was being rude.
Compared to what she had done to him, he was just being too polite.
Y/N chuckled dearly, "Of course." Then she replied confidently, "I owe you a dance after all." Her lips parted into a cheeky grin.
Bucky let out a sharp relieved sigh as his lips mimic hers, "I'll look forward to it, doll." He slightly bowed as his hand pulled hers closer to his lips, "Until then." He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand as his gaze remained on hers.
Apparently, it was Y/N's turn to blush to his antics. She stepped back shyly as her cheeks brightens before scurring away. Maybe, Bucky was right with his prediction prior. She did ran away feeling embarrassed after all.
She jogged towards the next corner of the street, meeting up with Tony. The older might have eyeing her in a teasing manner, but his smirk was the biggest giveaway. Y/N simply rolled her eyes, even if her lips maintained its shape from the aftermath of her encounter with Bucky.
As they entered deeper into the alleyway, Tony spoke, "I gotta admit, young terminator was a hottie. Not hotter than me, of course." he claimed.
Y/N frowned, letting out a scoff, "What do you mean "was"? He still is." Call it bias, but at least she was telling the truth.
Tony shrugged, "Meh. Would argue to differ. But, whatever that floats your boat, I guess?" Tony sassed as they clicked on the time device at the same time, revealing a swirlling portal, in front of them.
Y/N quirked her brow, her hands on her hips, "You're just jealous that he aged like a fine fucking wine and you don't." She purposely challenged his ego.
Tony dramatically rolled his eyes, "Please. He wishes." He walked into portal with an attitude, making Y/N laughed at his childish acts.
She looked back at the alleyway one last time and reminisce the last moments of a past that she never belong in. As she walked into the portal, she thought that maybe, it's time to pay her debt to Bucky.
End.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: The start of bucky drabbles because why not. This is considered a drabble for me because i feel like there's lack of story building. But, you tell me. And did you enjoy it?
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paintedpeeta · 5 months
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now, many of us, have at length discussed Peeta “born to be a little shit, forced to be a prisoner of war” Mellark coming into his own after the war, and I would like to hear your take on it but ALSO have we been sleeping on “two can play at the game” Katniss being just as immature when Peeta is pulling his stupid boy behavior? … basically, your headcanons upon the topic “Let Katniss and Peeta Be Normal Teenagers 2024”
this instantly made me think of the part in catching fire where katniss and finnick smear their faces in ointment just to spook peeta… like, if she’s able to be a little silly in the middle of a death match then she definitely goofs off when they’re safe and living a soft life together.
I think katniss’ sense of humour is often overlooked (which is fair enough because there’s a lot going on) but that girl was roasting career tributes names and giving us bangers such as “I suppose the apples ate the cheese” like 💀
but anyway, I agree that she definitely gives as good as she gets. peeta plays on her weaknesses by teasing her and being crude because he knows it makes her flustered, but katniss knows exactly how to deal with him too (think back to the ointment thing, where she uses a soft sing-song voice to call his name and wake him up). she’ll have him on the ropes, distracting him in the kitchen by acting all flirtatious and letting him think he’s about to get some and then THWACK. face full of whipped cream.
also I personally headcanon that peeta is a very neat and orderly person (to a certain extent… the room he uses as a studio for his painting is a wreck at all times) and he’s very specific about the way things should be done. purely in the name of being a pain in the ass, katniss will wrongly pair up socks when its her turn doing the laundry and leave her boots where she kicks them off at the door rather than lining them up the way he does.
just general cat behavior as well. she’ll plop herself down on his lap, to hell with the fact he’s reading the newspaper. yeah she’ll come padding into the room to bug him while he paints and yeah she will knock things off of the desk.
not exactly catlike, but a couple of times she tries to switch around his mug of tea and his mug of paint water. it fails every time because, y’know, he has a nose and all but hey. a girl can dream.
plus a plethora of other things she does just for the love of the game. the game of being a pest, that is. she’ll flick water and suds at him while they wash the dishes together, or shut the hot water off for just a second while he’s in the shower, or bite his finger when he tries to let her taste a new recipe.
when they’re not ribbing each other, they’re teaming up to terrorise poor haymitch. he’s so done with them but he would also never admit how much he likes seeing them so happy and actually getting to act young, even if it does mean being rudely awakened on weekends by the sound of laughter coming from their open windows as peeta crashes around after her because she slipped an ice cube down his shirt and then dashed.
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the-moon-files · 4 months
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Aaaaa, hi!! I'm the anon who sent in the fairly recent ask with the Guide!Reader ideas (martial artist mention, Dehydrated Ganon, strength possibilities, Ganon not being able to escape from Guide!Reader's voice, etc)! I'm really glad that you liked my ideas so much!! 😊 I was so pleasantly surprised to see you expand on my discombobulated thoughts, haha! Thank you so much! ^w^ I loved reading them!!
I said that I made memes for the Guide!Reader/Space Orc concept, and now I shall deliver them >:D Firstly, I'm super sorry that I took so long to share these with you!! Life decided to kick me in the shins for a hot second 😭 And secondly, I made a LOT of images for this one,, Fair warning, this is going to take up a lot of space 😭 orz
But anyway!! Here are the text memes first:
Guide!Reader: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Wars: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Guide!Reader: Not when you’re playing with Zelda, it’s not. She’s out here putting in words like “ephemeral” while I’m putting in “dog.”
Guide!Reader: *pointing out Magic Powder* Legend, look, it’s the good kush!
Legend: …This is the Rupee Store, how good can it be?
Ravio: Hi, welcome! Are you part of our Super Savers Shoppers Club?
Guide!Reader: No, I’m not.
Ravio: :D :) :| Oh.
Legend, looking into a banged-up Water Temple: …It’s trash.
Time, whenever Guide!Reader uses modern slang: We need IRL subtitles. What are you even saying.
Guide!Reader: My Furby died in my arms when I was a child.
Hyrule, has no clue what a Furby is: I’m so sorry for your loss.
Guide!Reader: It wasn’t a loss. I had never felt more like a god.
The Chain: *getting told off by Time*
Guide!Reader in the back: …
Guide!Reader: *starts playing the ukulele* 👁👄👁 🎸
Time: 🧍
Four, talking about Guide!Reader: So, I’m interested in someone…
Dot: :D Oooh! What do they look like?
Four: *slow realisation*
Four: I don’t know
Dot: Wh
Dot: What do you mean you don’t know?
Guide!Reader/Ganon, about hearing Guide!Reader every dang game: The universe has a sense of humour, and I respect the commitment to the bit, but girl please.
Guide!Reader, to Link once they reunite with the Chain: Now… *puts hand on his shoulder* We’re back on our bullsh*t.
Guide!Reader and Wild, meeting Sidon for the first time:
Guide!Reader: …Would.
Wild: Would what?
Guide!Reader:
Wild: (Name)? Would what?
Wind: When you become famous you’re called a legend because your leg ends.
Guide!Reader: What? 
Wind: Your leg. It ends.
Guide!Reader: I’m not a linguist, but I think you’ve got it wrong.
Wind: Are you saying your leg doesn’t end?
Guide!Reader: I mean, at some point it does, yes.
Wind: Then what’s the problem?
The Chain, waking up at dawn to get ready:
Guide!Reader and Sky, just trying to process being alive:
Guide!Reader/Time: You need to get out of bed faster than this.
Sky, struggling: I’m giving it all he’s got, boss
Guide!Reader at Ganon: Your anger amuses me. Please don’t find inner peace. Please.
Guide!Reader, playing through LoZ game: *at an annoying NPC* Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully? Quickly. :|
Link, trying not to laugh:
Hyrule, probably: I hate it when a recipe tells me to add two cups of onions. They don’t come in cups. They come in onions.
Guide!Reader, head in hands: Please
Hyrule/Twilight, looking at two NPCs: Are they lovers?
Guide!Reader, who knows the lore: Worse.
The Chain, enjoying Guide!Reader’s affections:
Legend: 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️
Legend, defending himself from the “You like him” allegations from Wind: 🤸🤸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️
And now, onto the images- I hope you don't think the sheer amount of these memes is too excessive or anything!! 😭 /gen
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Aaa and that's all the memes I've got! I hope you like them,,! orz
I'm also still pretty new to Tumblr, so I'm sorry if the format looks a bit weird,,
Oh, but also?? That last point you mentioned in your most recent post about the cultural differences between humans and Hylians on physical affection/touch?? I am VERY excited to see that,, 👀 👉👈 
U HAVE NO IDEA HOW IN LOVE W/UR BRAIN I AM RN
IM SO FUCKING ECSTATIC TO SEE THESE >>> ANYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN U MADE MEMES??? FOR MY BS?????? DAOHGHOAKJSALKGFS;NDFKNDNFKJBDBFLN;
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BLESS YOU, BEHEAMOTH SCREAMOTH MY BELOVED <3333
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HAVE THAT HYLIANS V. HUMANS AFFECTION CULTURE POST HERE, THE ONLY PAYMENT I CAN THINK OF FOR THIS 😩😩 🛐 🛐 🛐
I LIED ITS TOO LONG, ITS GONNA BE A SEPERATE POST COME BACK AND PLS READ IT AS PAYMENT (but dont read the nsft/w if ur a minor)
BRO u got all the energy, and the dynamics i was pushing ilysm 🥺🫶
like the Hyrule = beloved agenda ive been pushing, bc i need more underrep links content, the way u carried the ganon eternally getting haunted by guide reader voice?? 10/10 ahdsfkhadl
AND WIND’S CONSTANT ENERGY OF A YOUNGER BROTHER LOOKIN U DEAD IN THE EYE LIKE “u kiss the homie (singular not even plural) goodnight?? Brother, that’s GAEY.”
u have no idea what this means to me, the impact, the understanding u have to have of my bs to make these, and how many posts youve read of mine?? im so sorry for ur loss w/my rough writing lmao
thats how you know youve made it tbh is if someone makes memes of smth u made, anyway day brightened, complexion clear, depression medicated, by this post
I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF UR PILLOW ARE COLD, UR PETS CUDDLE U EXTRA, U GET ALL THE GRADES/GOOD WORK SHIFTS U NEED
Peace out my beloved <3,
🌙
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shiro-s2e2-erukinzu · 5 months
Text
Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 98... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
This chapter literally broke me in more ways than one...
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This chapter is a continuation of Martha and Henderson's backstory from Mission 97, so let's talk about it shall we...?
So when I opened this chapter and saw a radio...:
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...I literally got PTSD from seeing it because it immediately made me think of the first part of Mission 62, Twilight's (or rather [REDACTED]'s) past, so I knew that things were about to take a turn for the worst...! 😔
On the same page, Martha asks Henderson what he's doing here and he tells her that there's a personnel shortage, so he got to graduate early. Then, Henderson turns off the radio and says this:
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This is just... It's so sad, but true that things, like radios, that were once made for helping others can easily be used to spread hatred and cause harm... It's just not right... 😞
Moving on, after being separated for so long, Martha and Henderson were able to have another tea party like they used to have, but it wasn't long before things started to take a turn... During a school safety drill, Martha asks Henderson if he's excused from being drafted, and he tells her...:
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"It may be that even education is powerless now."... 😟
Hearing Henderson say that hurts my soul... But nothing could prepare me for the next few pages...
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Why... Why do things like this have to happen... 😣
No, things like this SHOULDN'T happen...! Innocent people dying because of senseless violence, because of war, it's just not right nor is it fair...! And I will always stand by that...!!
Continuing on, Henderson finds out that Martha is volunteering for The Women's Defense Auxiliary and he's upset by this. She tells him that the ballet company she was a part of is going to disband and her dream will go with it, so he scolds her again and she tells him this:
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My heart hurts just seeing the anguish in face and in her words...!! 💔
And the heart break continues because Martha overhears that Henderson is going to be married off and she is devastated... But while in tears, she overhears that the dance is coming again, so this is her last chance to tell him how she feels...!
At the dance, Martha approaches Henderson:
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Martha looks so cute here...!! 💗 I was so excited to see them dance together, that when I turned the page, something unexpected happened... I started to cry...:
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Seeing them happy, even though just for this moment, it reminded me why I love Spy X Family so much... It's for these moments, the moments that most of S×F's cast is fighting for, the moments that we all should strive for...!! There are just so many bad things going on in the world that it makes wish that moments like these could be the norm for all instead of some...!! I just don't understand why must there be so much hatred and malice in the world... Why can't we all live in peace instead of conflict...
Gosh, I'm even crying now just writing all of that... I should probably start to wrap this up...!
So, just as Martha is about to confess to Henderson, this happens...:
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...and the chapter ends... 💔😭💔
And that was Mission 98; truly such a heartwreching chapter to read, just like Mission 62 was...
I don't even know what else to say except thank you to Endo... Thank you for making this manga, for getting me feel all of these feelings, for giving me the opportunity to share these feelings with everyone that loves this series as much as I do...!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart...!! 💗
And thank you to all of you that reads this post...!! There's a lot of things that I wish that I could do to make the world a better place, but if this post inspires you in anyway, that's good enough for me...!! 💗
Sorry for rambling, but anyway... Until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and thank you for reading...!! 🤗 Later!! 💗
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scoupsahoy · 1 month
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i wanna talk about The Ship War going on right now in the 911 fandom (largely on tiktok and twitter) and i'm not a bnf especially in this fandom (and i wouldn't want to be) but i'm kind of hoping people on both sides are willing to read this post anyway because i cannot be the only one completely turned off by it
i finished writing this so i wanna clarify: this is officially aimed at buddie shippers (i am one of you) because i genuinely want to have meaningful discussion and also i'm not exactly defending tommy here. but! i think if bucktommy shippers were interested in reading, there is stuff in here for you too
i have to split this up into sections which is annoying but i won't be able to make any sense without sections so. sorry
1. pre-tommy buddie shipping
so like a lot of people i knew about 911 and buddie entirely through tumblr osmosis, and there was a general attitude of confidence: buddie WILL become canon. if it doesn't... something something. i don't really know the season 6 finale was hard for a lot of you. and after watching, i do really understand why. but.
from an outside perspective, this fandom attitude was nothing like i'd ever really experienced before. i stopped watching supernatural around season 11, several years before gaycas, when confirmed bisexual dean was genuinely outside the realm of possibility.
i was a tjlc believer. i was an episode 4 conspiracist. i have been delusional about gays on my television screen before. so i was really apprehensive at the way buddie fans were moving. not only was buddie GOING to happen, but if it didn't it would be a failure of the network and the showrunners and the actors and it could have been the greatest love story ever told and shipping was not ENOUGH. it had to be canon in order to matter. shipping anything else was fruitless and offensive. this was what i was seeing. and i was like. well there's no way that's going to happen
and then season 7 started airing and there was this reignited hope
and then 7x4 aired.
2. the birth of bucktommy
so i started watching 911 after 7x4 aired. a lot of people did. i'll be honest i did genuinely think that eddie was out and gay and i was like "oh shit is it finally happening??" and then i realized it was some other guy and spend like 4 straight days tumblr deepdiving into it
like i said i was almost exclusively following buddie shippers so my consensus was like. buck and tommy are cute but it's obviously (TO ME) a steppingstone for buddie. after watching the entire show i do still feel that way.
here's the thing though: shipping isn't about what is going to be canon. i'm a marvel fan. my first fandom was fucking icarly, okay, my track record of shipping non-canon couples that actually end up together starts and ends with nbc sitcoms and even then barely. shipping to me is about character analysis and smooshing barbie dolls together with my friends. shipping to me is putting some guy in a blender and another guy performing frankenstein experiments on them
it doesn't matter to me actually that a ship isn't going to end up together, even if i like them. i'm not saying some bucktommy fans don't overstep certain boundaries (that i'll get into) but a FAIR BIT of them know this. a fair bit of them were buddie shippers and a fair bit of them still are. and there's a reason theyre put off
3. social media discourse
the first real piece of morality discourse came from tiktok. i won't namedrop this creator but if you're on tiktok you know who i'm talking about.
this person started the tiktok talking about something that i genuinely do agree with: fans who love tommy but hated all of buck's ex girlfriends should probably perform some self-reflection on the very real misogyny problem in 911 fandom and fandom in general. this i am 1000% behind. a call-in of sorts: hey guys! check yourselves! it is really easy to fall into misogyny especially with gay shipping. though i will argue that buddie shippers could stand to do the same thing (looking at you, people who write fanfic where ana flores is ableist for no reason)
they went on, however, to say that bucktommy shippers Must only like bucktommy because they are a gay ship, And Also Therefore, these people Must Be gay fetishists, as the only reason you would like bucktommy over buddie is because you just want to see men make out with each other. You People don't like gay shipping in the Correct way that i do, you like to gay ship in a nasty fetish way (only slightly exaggerating). you saw that buck and tommy kissed online and you watched the entire show just to watch men make out with each other which is Bad And Wrong.
aside from the fact that this person also literally started watching the show after 7x4 aired (and like i said so did a lot of people. one would think this is a morally neutral thing to do), this struck a nerve with me. this take (which was repeated ad nauseam by everyone in their circle) is just plainly irresponsible.
it is inappropriate to suggest that someone is like. morally reprehensible for *checking my notes* shipping a canon television couple. is tim minear a gay fetishist for writing the bucktommy kiss? is the average viewer a gay fetishist for going "oh i didn't see that coming! they seem like a nice couple"? is my mom a gay fetishist? are you calling my mom a gay fetishist??
this is an argument that i've seen happen in a billion different ways over the past decade and a half of being in fandom spaces by the way. are women allowed to read gay fanfiction? what about gay porn? what if they get off to it? are they allowed to write it themselves? what if they're not straight? what if they're not women? was casey mcquiston fetishizing gay men when they wrote red white and royal blue? is the romance genre allowed to exist with gay men and straight women in it? do you have to check everyone's gender or sexual identity at the login page for ao3 and tumblr dot com to determine if it is morally okay for them to participate in fandom at all?
and then there was the comparisons between bucktommy and buddie fic stat breakdowns: bucktommy's are writing more smut And That's Bad and buddie fans are writing stories with plot And That's Good.
it. is. irresponsible. it is oversimplifying. it is judgmental and above all else it is irrelevant. people could like bucktommy because they think they're hot or because they think theyre interesting or because buck realized he was bisexual or because they think tommy has potential as a character. it is a ship. creating a dichotomy where one ship is the morally good thing to ship and one ship is the morally bad thing to ship is irresponsible and not in the spirit of fandom.
morality and purity conversations in fandom are like. an entirely different can of worms to talk about and this is going to be long enough already. but bucktommy shippers shot back with the same energy:
if you don't like bucktommy then you are homophobic because tommy is gay
i did see quite a bit of this argument because a number of people that id been following did get into bucktommy and i do still follow and like these people
i covered most of my feelings about this type of argument above but to reiterate: it is possible to like different ships without making it a morality competition. it's disingenuous and annoying.
especially that brief stint where people were saying that the bucktommy shipname was a slur against gay men. you can just not like it. you can just not like it and have it end there. it's an ugly shipname but you don't have to make it a moral issue.
especially because then buddie shippers pulled out the trump card:
4. the tommy problem
because these people just watched the entire show in like four weeks (again, neutral statement, i did the same fucking thing) they remember tommy from hen and chimney begins. and. okay
i'm not about to be taken out of context here. i watched bp's video when it came out, i think what was said was wrong, i'm not about to say that being racist was like. cool or excusable 20 years ago. i think there is a discussion to be had here about this though. there's a reason i'm typing this out carefully:
i want to say firstly that there IS a conversation to be had about the social landscape in 2005 and especially pre-obama america for the purposes of a bunch of 20 years olds who were not alive or fully conscious yet. people told casually racist jokes (casual in that they are told casually without intent for violence, not that they are not violent. all racism is violence) and there were fewer social ramifications for those racist jokes in 2005. that does not make them Magically Not Racist. they were. it was not okay. it was, however, Extremely Common. does that make it okay? no.
i'm saying that largely because it seems to ME that tim or whoever wrote that particular episode wrote that joke to paint a picture of where the characters are in the story. chimney is not under bobby. he is not being treated with respect. he is 15 years in the past (from when the episode aired. whatever) it is different. it wasn't supposed to matter who said it
(it did matter and it does matter that it's tommy who said it by the way. because that's like. the universe of the show)
(though my theory - and i'm just being stupid for a sec indulge me it's 3am - is that tim and ryan both LOVE writing in guys named tommy. seriously i've been rewatching glee and when i watched 911 i noticed this too that there are so many characters that we never even meet named tommy. abby's ex for one. my theory is that tim wanted to bring in some guy named tommy for buck's awakening and he realized he already had one. lol.)
SECONDLY. sorry that was longwinded. secondly, i am a person who believes that people are capable of change. 20 years is a long time to grow. even as an adult. again, this does not excuse racism, but it is important anyway.
this is all theoretical but i want you to walk with me: it is possible for a 20-30 year old closeted gay white man with a homophobic captain pre-obama to pick up and not experience consequences for inappropriate comments and casual racism and even be seeking out a parent-like validation from someone who encourages it AND THEN, after 20 years wherein he realizes he's gay, comes out of the closet, i believe it is POSSIBLE for him to unpack his internalized racism, apologize, and grow as a person
obviously these are fictional characters but it is important to my fucking philosophy of life that people are capable of change and having empathy or understanding that in fictional characters is so fucking baseline.
it is important that we as a society can agree that someone's behavior, ideology, and/or biases can change. that like. that just HAS to be possible.
caveat #1 that does not mean that any people of color who are fans of the show have to like tommy or even forgive him (or even like. hen and chim lmao it's kind of clear to me that at least hen doesn't) and i am not going to tell them to
caveat #2 i also understand that there is no explicit acknowledgment of this on screen (i think this is because tim forgot which i find funny but like i said. it still matters that it's tommy regardless of intent) and because of that there technically is nothing To forgive
ALL OF THAT TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT.
even if we are assuming that tommy has learned nothing and has not changed at all. the leap from "tommy is/was racist" to "shipping bucktommy or finding tommy interesting Makes You Racist" is heinous to me.
sometimes people like characters who are shitty people. some of you like tony stark. sorry
it's ridiculous to me because there are plenty of other reasons to dislike bucktommy that doesn't like. vilify random people on the internet. he's not even framed as a particularly good boyfriend! we don't even know if they're boyfriends, for one thing!
i've been complaining about buddie shippers for this entire time but i literally am one of you and that's what pisses me off. you threw the first blow in the morality competition and you are bigger - and you KNOW you are bigger because you are proud of the fact - and you are winning.
you are right about a lot of it: tommy isn't a good guy. there is an active racism problem in this fandom. there is a misogyny problem in this fandom. but by and large buddie shippers have been in the game longer and have much larger followings and there is nasty shit i'm seeing which brings me to
5. social media discourse 2 electric boogaloo: twitter edition
twitter is a cesspool in the best of times but i have seen some shit in the past two weeks that makes me never want to write fanfiction for this fandom or even interact with most of the fans ever again. and i'm serious
there is a big buddie fanfic writer who is like. beloved. if you read buddie fanfiction you've read their work for sure. they started writing bucktommy and buddietommy fics around april. and people are being so nasty about them on twitter it is actually fucking embarrassing.
AND LIKE. god. fandom etiquette is so simple.
when i first started reading buddie fanfic the first thing i noticed was how many fics are locked. and i was like "i wonder why that is"
just look at these tweets. i have kept the author's handle here uncensored but please be normal do not bother this person. i'm sure their ao3 comments are hell enough already
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what the fuck is your people's problem i'm serious
i'm like actually appalled. this is embarrassing. this isn't even the most embarrassing thing i've seen buddie stans do recently and it is NOT uncommon. it is not small accounts. you guys are the majority. these tweets have hundreds of likes.
i don't give a shit what this person was writing. i actually don't care. their fics are locked. they write for free.
to take someone's fic outside ao3 is considered bad fandom etiquette. to talk about an author where they don't have an account is generally considered bad fandom etiquette. to complain about fanfiction openly is bad fandom etiquette. i don't care if this is y'all's first fandom. in what world are you going to take to twitter and openly complain about someone writing fanfiction for a ship you don't like.
if i were them i would delete all of the buddie fics or never write buddie again i'm so serious. this is so ridiculous.
and this is sort of the nail in the coffin for me, seeing this tweet the other day:
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this tweet has over a thousand likes
this is a larger fandom issue as of recent with the use of like. mental health terms as insults but it actually fucking disgusts me!
i looked at mark's twitter. it's pretty clear to me that he's a troll/having fun/provoking people on purpose but on TOP of that his tweets get at most 35 likes. i checked and this tweet got 21 likes. and over a thousand likes calling him schizophrenic. 24 replies doubling down. 25 retweets. 47 quote tweets. 62 bookmarks. over a thousand likes.
and buddie shippers are the good guys
it is ridiculous to me that as a fandom buddie shippers have created a space where it is impossible to have a meaningful discussion about fandom misogyny, racism, of homophobia because everyone who disagrees with you is morally opposed to you, and yet it is this side of the fandom with enough traction and support to openly bully and mock these people that you have decided are morally reprehensible.
6. in conclusion i'm sorry i know no one read this
fandom in general post-covid has become less of a community based in sharing creativity and the love of something (and i know this intimately as a kpop stan lol). online spaces in general have become something i don't recognize or want to participate in. which sucks. i've been here for a long time.
i know there's not really any way for that group of like 5 or so tiktokers that complain about tommy ad nauseam to see this or even take it seriously. i know there's not any way for those people on twitter to magically understand fandom etiquette or just block the people they don't want to see.
everyone would be happier if they just. blocked and moved on. i know i would. and i have! in a lot of cases. there's a reason i blocked out the names on those tweets (note: i blocked mark's twitter handle. the person who screenshotted it so he wouldn't be notified and then called them schizophrenic did not. because they do not care) because it's not about THEM it's about the whole fucking thing.
and a lot of these people want to be mad. it's why they're so hung up on tommy. like i'm sorry if any bucktommy fan is still reading this but GOD TOMMY HAS BEEN ON SCREEN FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES TOTAL IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. HE DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. JUST ADMIT THIS IS ABOUT A SHIP WAR. IT ISN'T ABOUT HOW GOOD OF A PERSON YOU ARE OR ANYONE IS. IT'S JUST A SHIP WAR. and they want to be miserable. they want to sit in their little echochamber of morally upright big name fans and they want to provoke bucktommy fans into saying something shitty and they love it because they don't really fucking care about the show.
you know how i know? because tommy is the least important part of chimney begins. that is in the best 3 episodes of this entire television show and none of y'all have anything to say about it. because you're just as obsessed with tommy as they are.
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moongothic · 10 months
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
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-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
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vodika-vibes · 5 months
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Howdy! 🤠
Super excited for this follower event! I loved reading the last event’s masterpieces, and I can’t wait for the ones produced from this event! 💕
For my request, could I get Wrecker with Tanzanite in the fall? It’s the perfect day for a cute fall date and they have so much planned, but fem!reader’s period comes early and very painfully. She tries to hide it and keep the date going, but Wrecker notices and changes their plans to make it more comfortable for her. Thanks!
A Change Of Pace
Summary: You have a date with Wrecker, a date you’ve been looking forward to for weeks. And, when your period comes early, you’re determined to make the date happen in spite of your pain.
Pairing: TBB Wrecker x F!Reader
Word Count: 765
Prompt: Tanzanite - Perceptive Love
Warnings: period talk
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: Hihi! Sorry this took so long! This ask kept becoming invisible in my askbox. Apparently it's a thing that happens if you have more than a certain number of asks. I hope you like it~
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You grit your teeth as a sharp stab of pain makes you want to double over. 
It figures.
Isn’t this how it always happens? You look forward to something, and your period decides to arrive early.
You blindly take some pain medicine, and exhale slowly to try and ignore your pain.
This date with Wrecker has been planned for weeks. You are not going to let a little pain get in the way of having fun with the man you’ve been crushing on for even longer.
You quickly make sure that you’re presentable, which doesn’t take half as long as you thought it might, and you just step out of your bedroom when there’s a knock at your apartment door.
A quiet curse falls from your lips as there’s another sharp stab of pain, but you ignore it with the ease of someone who’s been dealing with these types of cramps for the large majority of your life, and you hurry over to the door.
A blinding smile crosses your face when you see the man standing there. He looks kind of sheepish, and is rubbing the back of his neck, but he looks genuinely thrilled to see you.
“Wrecker! Welcome back!” You move to the side to let him in your apartment.
“Thanks,” He steps into your apartment, his gaze sliding from one side of the room to the other, “Was worried that we weren’t going to get back in time.”
“Oh?”
“Tech broke something on the ship,” Wrecker replies lightly, it’s a lie, you’re sure. He doesn’t like telling you about the realities of war, having claimed, on more than one occasion, that you are his pretty oasis away from the war.
“Well,” You reply with a light smile, “I hope he fixed it.”
His gaze lands on you, finally, and a broad smile crosses his face. “Course, he always does.”
“Good,” You step around him, “I’m almost ready to go. If you give me about 15 minutes, we can head out to the Fair.”
“Looking forward to it,” Wrecker follows you into the living room and drops on the couch, “And you’re sure they’ll let me in?”
“Yeah, of course. I mean, they might not want you to do any of the games, but they’re all rigged anyway, so-” You grin, though it fades as another sharp pain makes you inhale sharply.
You hoped that you were subtle enough that Wrecker wouldn’t notice, but no such luck. 
“Are you alright, angel?”
“I’m fine, honest.”
He stares at you thoughtfully, taking in the way you’re holding yourself, and the way you’re trying to keep yourself from curling in on yourself, and his eyes narrow, “You’re in pain.”
“It’s normal.”
He pauses, “Your lady time,” Wrecker gets to his feet and walks over to you, “How can I help?”
You lift your chin, “We’ve had this date planned for weeks, Wreck. I’m not going to let a little pain stop me-” A particularly strong cramp has a string of curses falling from your lips in Ryl as you nearly bend in two, and Wrecker’s hands settle on your shoulders.
“You know,” His voice is light, conversational, “I’m kind of exhausted, it was a long trip from the outer rim. How about we put off the fair for a day?”
You hesitate, “Well, if you’re exhausted-” You finally say slowly, well aware that he’s lying to you to make you feel better about having to cancel your plans for the day. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
He flashes a small smile at you and smoothes his hand over your hair, “We’ll both have more fun when you’re not doubled over in pain.” He says, very logically, “Now, how can I help?”
“Can you find my heating pad while I change into something looser?”
“Absolutely.”
Less than fifteen minutes later, you’re curled up on top of Wrecker, your heating pad squished between your bodies as you watch a movie together. He presses a light kiss to the top of your head and presses his hand against the small of your back, “Better?”
You just sigh, “I hope I don’t bleed on you.”
Wrecker laughs, “Ah, angel. Don’t you worry about that. If you do, it’s just a little blood. Not a problem to me.”
You shift and look at him, “You’re the best, Wrecker.”
“Oh, I know.” He grins at you, “But you make me better, angel.”
You flush and press your face against his chest, “If you’re not careful, I’m gonna fall in love with you.”
And he grins, “Well that is the plan, angel.”
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woodlaflababab · 3 months
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Rewatched The Awakening and having some Thoughts™
First, Katara, my baby, not me literally crying during my break in the backroom at work bc she's just so strong and so hurt and so brave. Her conversation with her dad will never not break me. I hate that Katara has ever gotten heat for actually being open to discussing her pain. My girl is brave and strong and lovely and the boys aint got shit on her.
I love the realism of this conflict. I love the way she so clearly lays it out and understands herself but is so lost on how to go forward which like, FAIR. The contrast of how excited she was for any news on her father in the Bato episode, to this, is just heartbreaking. She deserves a good reunion and yet because of the war, her family has been ripped apart and even when it comes back together she still carries those scars.
Second, how anyone can reach season three and watch this episode and still think Aang is a one note character or still the same childish figure he was before. He also breaks my heart in this episode. The adultification is wild, it's hard to watch him here and remember, this is a kid, a 13 yr old. It's someone who's experienced death, who feels the weight of the literal world on his shoulders, who's failure means losing an entire war, and he's so broken over it and it's like, No, Aang, honey, please. Have some grace for yourself.
Him in the water just, accepting death for the second time is so morbid and so sad. He's just ready to give up. Truely his lowest point. And going from his hurt at the mere idea of having to cover his arrow, to him literally burning his glider, which can never be replaced, like, how much more can he lose. He really has sacrificed everything for this war and yes I will sit here and cry about it thank you very much.
Third: speaking of these two, I think my favorite scene in the whole episode is unironically the one where she snaps at her dad and Hakoda walks away and Aang's like, "Are you mad at your dad?" All concerned and she's just "No, why?" And Aang's face kills me it's hilarious. Like, good job Aang, that was the correct answer. Him being like, something is clearly wrong and she clearly is also not ready to face it so he just shrugs and is just like, sure, okay.
Honestly, the whole interaction makes me laugh. The way Aang looks up at Hakoda like, oh yeah, the father of the two most important people in my life, the one they almost left me for, and also a world leader and so someone important to the position of the avatar. Ah. And then Katara seems to be mad at him and Aang's just, he just woke up from a coma, ksnfmsnfnd, he is not equipped to deal with this rn but he does it anyway.
Just, ugh, that second he stares at Katara before shrugging cracks me up so much, you can so clearly read what's going through his mind.
Anyway, I think this is genuinely one of my favorite episodes, I will always be a Book 3 stan.
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hqbaby · 1 year
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thirty — do what you do
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fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader
you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?
previous — masterlist — next
word count. 1.5k content. swearing, many feelings
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You’ve never felt so exposed in your whole life. You’re not even doing anything, just sitting in a coffee shop wearing your/Kiyoko’s skirt and a sweater to stave off the cold, waiting for Suna who you’re honestly not sure is going to come.
After you got his text asking to talk, you decided to go for it. What’s the worst that could happen at this point?
You asked him where. He sent you a location. You saw it and wanted to rip your heart out—but you went anyway.
The funny part in all of this is that he probably doesn’t even remember this place. He probably doesn’t realize what being here, sitting in this chair is doing to you. You could never read his mind and you guess that he could never read yours either. As they say, all is fair in love and war.
“Y/N,” he says as he comes to your table. He looks a little out of breath and you can safely say he’s looked better, but he doesn’t look too horrible. Not as bad as you at least.
You smile at him and motion for him to sit down. “You okay?”
He nods, sliding into the chair. “Yeah,” he tells you. “I just got out of training.”
“Oh,” you say. “How’s that going?”
He shrugs. “Better.”
Suna Rintarou, a man of many words indeed.
“So,” you bite the bullet, “you wanted to talk.”
“Right.” He nods. “I did.”
“Listen, Suna, I don’t know if this is such a good idea—”
“I know,” he tells you. “I just… I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t like the way things worked out between the two of us and everything that happened after, it didn’t—it didn’t feel too good.”
“I didn’t feel good?” you ask. “That’s it? You want to rehash everything because it didn’t feel good?”
Suna shakes his head. “Just listen.”
You relent. “I’m listening.”
He takes a deep breath and looks away. You don’t know if he’s about to laugh or cry or shit himself, maybe all three, who knows?
“I meant what I said,” he tells you, “I didn’t say it at the right time and the right place and I didn’t do anything right—but I love you. So fucking much.”
You purse your lips. “I know.”
Suna looks at you like he’s pleading. “I really don’t why, but I want you to know I was being serious,” he says. “I was being selfish and fucked up—I shouldn’t have told you, I know. Not when you were with Atsumu. Not when things were so good between the two of you. Not when Ayame was there—I mean I fucking humiliated her, I treated her like she was nothing. But I meant it. I do love you, I really do.”
“I know,” you repeat, nodding. “I think I’ve always known.”
He stares at you with wide eyes. You can see the thoughts flash in his head, his entirety suddenly an open book, his mind completely clear to you: How could he have been so stupid? “Why didn’t you say anything?”
You shrug helplessly. “What could I have done?”
“You could’ve talked some sense into me,” he insists. “Made me realize that I—”
“That wasn’t my job,” you tell him. “That’s not fair and you know it. You can’t put that all on me.”
“Fine,” he concedes. “But you could’ve told me how you felt at least. This goes both ways, you know.”
You look down at your hands. “I know,” you say. “And I did love you.” And it breaks your heart to say it because you know it’s true. “But I loved you the way a moth loves the flame. The moment I got too close, you would hurt me and you wouldn’t even know it. You just did it because it’s what you do.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.
“And I don’t blame you,” you tell him. “And I’m sorry for my part in it. But I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t tell you how I felt, not after you’d stung me so many times. Not when all I ever did was love you and all you did was break my heart.”
You can feel yourself crumbling. The facade you’d kept up for your entire relationship collapsing around you. It startles Suna more than you can imagine. This wasn’t the way this was supposed to go. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this.
“Is that what you wanted me to say?” you ask. “Would that have made you happy? Would that have felt good?”
He shakes his head. “No, Y/N, please,” he says. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying at this point, his mouth has run off without him “I was stupid, I know. I didn’t treat you well—but I just didn’t want to lose you.”
You wipe your eyes, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about breaking down in public. “Do you know where we are?”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
“This place,” you say, looking around the little coffee shop. “This is where we had our first date—or at least the first time we ever went out together in public.”
Suna’s eyes widen. “I-I didn’t know that.”
You nod. “That’s okay,” you tell him. “I was standing there,” you point at a spot on the other side of the window, “and you were there,” you point at the table near the door, “and you were kissing this girl. Just another pretty, perfect girl—the kind you like. And I just wanted to disappear, but I didn’t. I went to you and acted like it was fine, because it was supposed to be fine. Even if I was completely crushed.”
He can feel his heart in his throat, watching as you fall apart in front of him. All he wants right now is for it to stop. He’ll do anything to make it stop.
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
“The saddest part is, after all that, there’s still a piece of me that loves you,” you say. And he wants you to stop so bad. Just stop. Not like this, don’t do this. “But I know I shouldn’t. And it’s just so… hard. And heavy. And bad. And I can’t live like this anymore.”
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
“I’m sorry,” Suna says. He reaches his hand across the table and holds yours as you look down and cry. “I’m sorry.”
He watches as you put a hand over your face and sob. He’s never seen you look so small before, so helpless, so vulnerable in the worst way possible.
It hits him right then and there that he lost this fight ages ago. Not to Atsumu. Not to you. But to himself. 
He was the only thing that ever stood in his way.
And he lost.
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
He leans over the table and takes your face in his hands. You open your eyes to look at him, the closest the two of you have been in what feels like forever.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, tears slipping out of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
You sniffle, placing your hands over his. “I’m sorry too.”
The two of you stay there for what feels like hours. Just staring into each other’s eyes, all the hurt and the pain and the love still real and raw. It’s all there, there’s nothing left to give, everything—the lies and the truths—laid out on the table before you.
A carcass for you to weep over.
It's a beautifully terrible picture. Two people who have loved and hurt each other so deeply and irrevocably there’s no way to deny it. Two moths orbiting the flame that is the two of you, a pull deeper than lust or desire, one that can only be love. And one that cannot be love, should never be love again.
You know it. Suna knows it. There’s nothing to return to here, no matter what you might want. You can’t rebuild this, can’t fix it—not if you ever loved each other, not if you still do.
He presses his forehead against yours, your eyes closing as all your tears collide.
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
“Go to him,” he tells you quietly.
“What?”
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
“He loves you in a way I never could,” he says. “He loves you more than anyone could ever deserve. And you may think that’s a bad thing, but he loves you. And that's all that matters."
You pull back, meeting Suna’s eyes again. “Why are you telling me this?”
He smiles, overcome by both sorrow and happiness—happiness for you. 
He can do this for you. He owes you this much.
You do what you need to do for the people you love.
“You do what you need to do for the people you love,” he says, wiping your tears away. “Atsumu taught me that.”
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notes. brb sobbing
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bebe-writes-stuff · 4 months
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OMG i love the Sick! clingy! Mikey fic!! It’s really adorable! And yes to part 2 please when you have the time🙏❤️‍🔥 Thank you in advance!
--bro I literally be opening requests and forgetting about them IM SORRY. Anyway go read part 1 or you'll find me in the corner of your room at 2am. This a smut + plot kinda btw--
^ part 1
Y/n lay in bed, her head pounding and her throat raw from days of relentless coughing. The soft glow of the afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm yet unwelcome light over her disheveled room. A half-empty mug of tea sat on the bedside table, steam long since vanished. She sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and fatigue.
Just a few weeks ago, the roles had been reversed. Mikey had been the one confined to bed, battling a nasty cold. Y/n had nursed him through it, despite his constant demands for kisses and cuddles. She had tried to keep a safe distance, knowing the risks, but Mikey’s puppy-dog eyes and relentless affection had worn down her defenses. And now, here she was, suffering the consequences.
A knock on her door was followed by it swinging open. Mikey stood there, his face a picture of concern mixed with an air of contrived innocence.
“Y/n,” he whined, dragging out her name as he approached the bed. “You’re ignoring me. Are you mad at me?”
She didn’t even have the energy to roll her eyes. “Manjiro, I’m sick. I just need to rest.”
He pouted, his bottom lip jutting out in that way that always made her heart melt, even now. “You’ve been resting all day. Can’t I just stay with you?”
“Manjiro, no. I don’t want you getting sick again.”
He didn’t seem to hear her, or perhaps he chose not to. Instead, he slipped off his shoes and crawled into bed beside her. Y/n tried to protest, but her voice came out as little more than a hoarse whisper.
“Manjiro, seriously—”
But he had already wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His warmth was both comforting and infuriating. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back, and despite herself, she relaxed into his embrace.
“You’re burning up,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her neck. “You should have told me you were feeling this bad.”
Y/n sighed, but a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Just don’t blame me if you get sick again.”
Mikey chuckled, the sound a soothing balm to her frazzled nerves. “Worth it,” he whispered, holding her a little tighter. “Totally worth it.”
As she tried to muster the energy to protest again, Mikey's voice broke through her thoughts, mischievous and playful.
"You know," he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear, "I have a way to distract you from your cold. Make you feel good."
Before she could argue, he leaned over her, his eyes glinting with mischief. His lips found the sensitive spot just below her ear, pressing soft, lingering kisses there. Y/n shivered, a mix of fever and the electric sensation of his touch.
"'Manjiro," she breathed, her voice a weak protest.
He pulled back slightly, his eyes locking with hers, a smirk playing on his lips. "Trust me, Y/n. You'll feel better, I promise."
Mikey's hands were gentle yet insistent, roaming over her sides, his fingers tracing patterns that sent shivers through her.
"You're not playing fair," she managed to murmur, her resolve weakening with each kiss, each touch.
"All's fair in love and war," he replied, his voice a low murmur against her skin. "And this is definitely love.", his kisses growing more heated, his hands more daring.
She felt a warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with her fever. Her breathing shallow as Mikey trailed kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. The room was quiet, save for the soft rustling of sheets and the occasional hitch in her breath.
"Relax," he murmured, his lips brushing against her skin. "Let me take care of you."
She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. As much as her mind protested, her body was already responding to his touch, her defenses crumbling under his tender ministrations.
Mikey's hands slid down her sides, his fingers grazing her skin in a way that made her breath catch. He paused at the waistband of her pants, his eyes flicking up to meet hers, silently asking for permission. Y/n gave a small nod, unable to find her voice.
With deliberate slowness, Mikey peeled her pants down, his touch sending a jolt of anticipation through her. He placed a kiss on her hip, then another just below her navel, his eyes never leaving hers. Y/n's breathing grew more erratic, her body trembling with a mixture of nerves and desire.
"Mikey," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
He smiled, a soft, reassuring smile that made her heart flutter. "Just trust me," he said, his voice a soothing balm to her anxious thoughts.
He shifted lower, spreading her legs gently. Y/n's heart raced as he settled between her thighs, his breath warm against her skin. He kissed the inside of her thigh, slow and deliberate, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She couldn't help but gasp, her fingers clenching the sheets beneath her.
When he finally reached her core, he paused, looking up at her one last time. The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down her spine. And then, with a tenderness that took her breath away, he lowered his mouth to her.
The first touch of his tongue against her was almost too much. Y/n's back arched off the bed, a moan escaping her lips. Mikey's hands gripped her thighs, holding her steady as he began to explore her with a slow, deliberate rhythm. His tongue moved in languid strokes, each one sending waves of pleasure through her body.
Y/n's hands found their way to his hair, her fingers tangling in the soft strands. She tried to stay quiet, but the sensations building inside her were overwhelming. Every flick of his tongue, every gentle suck, drove her closer to the edge.
"Fuck," she breathed, her voice a mix of desperation and need.
He hummed in response, the vibration sending a jolt of pleasure through her. His tongue moved faster, more insistent, as if he was determined to unravel her completely. Y/n's body tensed, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. She was so close, teetering on the brink of release.
Mikey sensed her nearing climax and doubled his efforts, his tongue working her with a skill that left her breathless. He added his fingers, sliding one inside her, then another, curling them in a way that made her see stars. The combination of his mouth and fingers was too much.
With a cry, Y/n came undone, her body convulsing with the force of her orgasm. Waves of pleasure crashed over her, leaving her trembling and breathless. Mikey didn't stop, his tongue and fingers drawing out her climax until she was a quivering mess beneath him.
her in his arms. Y/n's heart was still racing, her body still humming with aftershocks of pleasure. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and love.
"Feel better?" he asked, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
--yurrr which character yall want next? I was thinking Mitsuya idk?--
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