#anyway i just feel bad telling her bc january has not been her month

[lilgynt]

i don’t have the heart to tell my mom the scooter doesn’t work inside the house bc of the hoarding so i’ve been just limping with my broken foot and hoping for the best

[poptartmochi]

why is it every time I have a mental breakdown, I also have a breakthrough with miss gioia. she and the illness are linked your honor 🆘

[gilmore-angel]

unexpected pleasures || A.T x fem!reader

summary ♱ reader has just wed the infamous aemond targaryen, and though she's nervous, she will soon discover there are many pleasurable things to come (tldr reader gets finger fucked good)

warnings/contains ♱ arranged marriage, awkwardness at first, smut obvi, sub!reader dom!aemond, fingering, praise kink!! use of good girl, pretty girl, wife. overall very fluffy!! soft!aemond<3. let me know if I should add anything else!!

authors note ♱ okok this is probably trash but I'm literally forcing myself to write rn<3 lol anyways this is also my first time actually writing for aemond which is crazy bc I've been obsessed with him since like early January💀. if you enjoy please reblog! likes are obviously appreciated but reblogs are the thing that actually help the writer<3 oh and lmk if you want a part two!!

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married life isn't so bad after all.

of course, you've only been married for about three hours now, but it's going better than expected, which at this point is all you can hope for.

your new husband, prince aemond, has been quite pleasant thus far. you have only had roughly six full conversations since you were betrothed two months ago, but based off of them he was very polite and well educated.

though you had dreaded the wedding day, everything had gone smoothly. the ceremony itself was a big event, full of lords and ladies you didn't even know the house of, all eager to get on the new princesses good side. and of course there was the kiss you shared with aemond, one that sent an unknown feeling through you, settling at your lower belly. and now, the grand feast to celebrate the union.

it had less people there, only family and the very important houses were allowed to attend. you sat at the table in the middle, sitting in the center along with your husband. on your other side sat your father, mother and siblings, the same went for aemond. your husband stayed mostly silent during the feast, only speaking when spoken to.

your belly slightly ached with nerves for what was coming next; the bedding. thankfully, the queen had insisted upon a private bedding, just as she did for her other children when they wed. the action soothed your nerves a bit, but they still clung to you.

you had been warned by your mother that the bedding was an uncomfortable and painful process for the woman. but she also informed you that it is something all woman must do to please their lord husband and produce heirs.

you felt your heart sink when the king stood up weakly to announce it was time for you and aemond to head to your chambers. you both stood up and gave your goodbyes, your mother giving you a reassuring smile before you left.

there was an awkward silence as you walked with your husband to your chambers, escorted by guards. you glanced at him, only to see him looking straight ahead, blank expression on his handsome face.

once you arrived the guards pushed open the heavy wooden doors. you gave them a small smile in thanks before aemond dismissed them. as the doors closed aemond let out a small shaky sigh, you couldn't tell if it was out of nervousness or dread. you both stood awkwardly, unsure of where to begin. he spoke first, breaking the deafening silence.

"would you like help taking down your hair?" he blurted out. you nodded, giving him a awkward small smile.

"please," you moved past him to sit at the vanity. you began taking out the many odd placed pins and braids in your hair. aemond came up from behind you to start assisting in the process. the feeling of his long fingers in your hair made up for the times he would accidentally tugged too hard trying to take down the hairstyle. you both worked in silence, the only word spoken was his occasional 'sorry's when he would notice you wince.

now that your hair was down, the room was once again filled with an thick silence. eventually you stood up, turning to face him. you sucked in a breath, looking up at him nervously.

"should i..... should I remove my clothes, my prince?"

his eyes widened at the question, but he nodded, "yes, my lady... I can help."

he moved behind you, undoing the laces of the dress with shaky fingers. the gorgeous dress fell to the floor, pooling around your feet. you stepped out of the dress, leaving you in a silky shift and small clothes. you felt quite vulnerable as you begun taking your shift off, even more so once it was gone.

aemond let out a shaky breath at the sight of you in nothing but your small clothes. he looks up and down your body, desire filling his eye. he walks closer to you, looking deep into your eyes.

"may I kiss you, my lady?" he asked, his usual cold tone gone, now replaced with a soft, caring one. you nod, eyes wide.

aemond smiled softly before leaning down and kissing your soft lips. this kiss was unlike the other one you both had shared just hours before. this one was out of pure want, not obligation.

you gasp softly against his lips when he deepened the kiss, your hands flying up to his strong shoulders. his hands found home on your hips. he pulled away just enough to whisper against your lips, "is this okay?"

you nod, staring up at him with wide eyes. "yes, my prince, I just... I don't really know how to do this properly."

he smiles at you softly, moving one of his hands to caress your cheek gently.

"that's okay, just copy what I do, okay?"

he leans back in, kissing at a slow pace. his lips are soft and warm against your own. you feel something wet poking at your bottom lip and soon realize it's his tongue. you open your mouth slightly and gasp when he slides his tongue in, exploring where he can reach. the sensation causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips.

he begins pushing you backwards gently until the back of your knees hit the edge of the plush bed behind you, causing you to lay down on it. to your surprise, aemond gets on his knees before you and pulls you down so your legs hang off the bed. leaning up on your elbows you look down at him extremely confused. "my prince... what are you doing?"

he simply smiled and blushed, "let me know if you wish to stop, okay my lady?". his big calloused hands went up and down your thighs, pulling them apart. you laid back, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. his hands eventually found their way to your small clothes.

"may I remove these, my lady?" one hand continued rubbing you thigh gently. you hum and nod. that wasn't good enough apparently and aemond lightly pinched your thigh. "words, wife. I need to hear some words out of those pretty lips."

you blushed deeply, taking a deep breath, "yes, please take them off."

he smiles, murmuring under his breath "good girl". you felt a tingle in your lower belly, growing each time he touched or talked to you.

he carefully slid your small clothes off, throwing them somewhere in the room. he sucked in a big breath at the sight of your bare cunt. you squirmed slightly, his gaze lighting you on fire almost.

"may I touch you, wife?" he spoke softly, a poorly hidden desire behind the words.

you nod but quickly remember what he told you. "yes, you may."

with one hand he softly rubbed your thigh, with the other he rubbed one finger up and down your lips, pushing past them and exploring the wet outside. your back slightly arched at the unknown but not unwelcomed feeling. he moved his finger higher until he found your clit. a high pitched whimper escaped your lips at his soft but achingly good touch.

he looked up at you with a sweet smile. "does that feel nice, wife?". his finger moved in gentle circles, pressing ever so slightly.

a few breathy whimpers and moans slipped out of your mouth. "yes," you breathed, "so so nice..."

he let out a hmm, continuing his movements. he moved his finger up and down, gathering your wetness and then spreading it around your sensitive clit. as he rubbed on your bundle of nerves, his other hand came up, softly pressing against your slit.

"this may feel strange, my lady, but I promise it'll feel so good soon, okay?" he pushed a long thick finger into your previously untouched hole, groaning at how tight you were. your back arched off the bed as a loud moan rang around the room. he slowly started moving it in and out, sending waves of pleasure through your body when he curled his finger upwards. your gummy walls tightened around him, almost as tight as he cock felt in his trousers.

he looked up to see your reaction, smiling when he saw your head thrown back in pleasure. soft whimpers left your mouth as his movements quickened.

"may I add a second finger, sweet girl?" something about the way he said the affectionate name sent chills down your spine as you slightly bucked against his hand.

"hmmph, yes, yes please husband." he smirked as he added a second finger. he pumped them in and out fast, his other hand still focused on your puffy clit.

suddenly a new feeling hit you. like some sort of knot in your belly, ready to explode any second. a panicked expression washed over you at the strange sensation.

"aemond, aemond! something is, fuck, happening!" you cried desperately, clenching the sheets beneath you hard.

"shh, it's okay, it'll feel so good. just let it happen sweet girl." it was too much and too little, it was overwhelming yet you needed more. it hurt but felt so so right.

before you could reply waves and waves of pleasure washed over you, drowning you in the feeling of him. your whole body shook, hips bucking wildly into his hand. creamy white cum drooled onto his fingers and hand. he groaned at the sight and fucked you through your peak.

he eventually slid his hand out and climbed up the bed, hovering over you. he brought his cum covered fingers to you mouth, "open," he commanded softly, sucking in a shaky breath when you wrapped you lips around them. he pulled them out, moving to caress your cheek, "such a good girl."

he began kissing your neck, trailing his hand back down to your thighs. you whimpered sweetly causing him to chuckle.

"oh, sweet wife, we are just getting started."

[87435678753256732]

Feb 2023

helo!!! we are 3 months into 2023, and wow has it been a ride. the last time i posted, i had been broken up with and was processing the grief. i wanted to reflect on that a little more before i update you on the next things that have happened.

januarys retrograde sucked! or at least that’s what i thought at the moment. i am SO happy things happened the way they did, and that i was let go instead of staying in an awkward relationship that i convinced myself could somehow work. let me list the weird things i now am happy i left behind. 1. lack of sexual discipline. i’m all about sexual positivity, but there is definitely a line that cannot be crossed. fantasizing about weird sexual topics (incest?!) is fucking weird. 2. unrealistic goals. i’m all about supporting people, and i understand that not everyone has similar career timelines, but having unrealistic goals for yourself with things you aren’t even good at was a bit painful to see. i was the funny one basically. 3. couldn’t make me cum. okay, selfish some might say, but damn! couldn’t at least pick up a book or something? 4. mom. okay, your mom was hot and i’ll miss her. you had a terrible relationship with her which should have been a red flag. especially when you physically let out your anger. that’s the list so far that i can think of. basically, i did charity work. i’m not entirely bad bc i got to learn so much about myself and others during this short period of time. my mom asked what happened. i told her things were off, and our personalities weren’t a good match. i’m embarrassed that i brought him over for christmas, especially when he did nothing but complain about the food and games we played with my family. the gift he told me he didn’t even pick out, then later blamed the effort put on my birthday instead. what the fuck? lmao. my mom believes i was used for my body, and warned me to not let other men easily let me give myself up again. i can tell she really didn’t like him, i would’ve appreciate a heads up or something. my best friend also shared similar sentiment. her first issue was when he asked me about having an open relationship, something i would never imagine myself doing as a strictly monogamous person, which i let him know. i believe the desire to explore sexually also let to the breakup, which would make more sense than blaming my physical appearance. an introvert and extrovert aren’t a good “opposites attract” story like people say. anyways, it’s march and things have been awesome. but first let me talk about February.

on the second half of january, i focused on reflecting and healing. i had my therapy sessions and rants with online friends about the issue. their validation helped me tremendously. i will admit that it was easy for me to move on so quickly because i 1. convinced myself to like this person, even as a friend and 2. i didn’t allow myself to fall in love with them. my gut feeling did NOT let me, which im extremely grateful for now that i look back. the negative traits outshined the positive. the main obstacle i was getting past was the attachment, for example, no longer having someone to check in on.

in february, i sat with the idea of possibly dating again, even if it was just for casual hookups. i mentioned this in a jokingly way to my best friend, and she suggested that i download hinge. i decided to download it in the beginning of february, and set up my profile the first day. i had previously known about the number of men that outnumber women, so i was aware that i might have an influx of folks. and i was right! i met some people that were fun to talk to, but things didn’t go anywhere. and i met others that felt like i was talking at a job interview, asking them questions without them asking any questions about me. i went on my first hinge date feb 10 i believe, and it wasn’t as terrible as i thought it could be. the guy pulled up in a cowboy fit, which was interesting. possibly going through a manic episode. he paid for our food, which i insisted on helping with, and didn’t suggest doing anything sexual which was pretty nice of him. i wouldn’t have minded it, but it was also interesting to see what religious ppl do instead of hooking up. we stopped talking about three days after the date, mostly bc of his inconsistency and lack of desire to go on a second date (yet wanted to keep texting?) i told my best friend we’d hop on and start swiping again on monday. from monday to wednesday, i focused on ppl that had sent me likes instead of sending them myself. priority shipping if you will. there were def some interesting characters in the mix. i will admit that i focused more on people that replied to my prompts, as we’d have something to talk about. on monday i swiped on a guy that questioned the mcdonald’s rewards system, which i was suspicious about. from mom-wed, i kept up with the conversations i had (around 5?) but noticed only one stood out, one person that kept up with my dumb shit. he asked me out on a date tht wednesday, and we went with the bit and went to mcdonalds. i drove to the location and arrived about 10 minutes after leaving home. i was nervous, mainly bc all this guys pics looked kind of different, but fuck it. i parked and called, and his voice as HOT AS FUCK. a teardrop fell down my ear but i knew i couldn’t let my horniness succumb my ability to form a relationship. pulled up, and HOLY FUCK this guy was cute/hot/handsome/WOW. first thing i thought was holy shit, his pics didn’t do him justice (but hey, that means more fer me). we get our food and talk for about an hour. our date last around 3-4 hours, and then we go inside his car bc it was really windy and cold outside. there, we do more talking and find out more things about ourselves. he told me about a person he had recently ended things with due to various reasons, and i stood there wide eyed as i realized i would be nothing like that person. as we talk more, he ask for a kiss, and my whore brain automatically turns on and goes YIPPEE! but i act cool 😎 and lean in. WOAH was it hot. we pull away, look at eachother, and then do some more kissing. i stop to laugh because we’re literally still at the mcdonald’s parking lot. i ask if maybe we could take the car elsewhere, and he mentions he could take us back to his place. WOWOWJWPWAHJ instant gushing from my coochie. i was so sex deprived and borderline desperate that i eagerly agreed. my sex drive is high, which i mentioned, and he told me his was too. typical for a man, heh. fast forward, we hook up and dudes pussy whipped. pulled out the old tricks in the book and wowed him. he asked what my bc was, since apparently i seemed seasoned. i told him, and asked what his was. double digits?! HARLOT! but guy laid pipe really fucking good so i guess i’m glad i got to meet the seasoned veteran. so this was in february (2/22) angels numbers, woaaaa

about three days after we see each other, he tells me that he plans on deleting binge, and that he likes me. i’m like WOWIE, tht was fast. ff to 2/26, and i ask if he’d like to be in a relationship with me, to which he quickly replies “yes” to. waooo. i will have to make a second post for march, keep ya updated!

[soudeko]

:)

my girlfriend is stressing me out so fucking baddddddd

she got let go from her job in january bc they didn't have enough hours for her, and she found a new job then after not even 3 weeks she literally walked out in the middle of her shift when she fucking KNOWS how much we're struggling right now (and how little i make since i can only work so many hours bc of bad pain) and she still hasn't found a new job!! she's had 2 interviews and has another coming up on friday but oh my fucking god i'm gonna rip my hair out i can't support us on my own i literally can't!!!!! i can't be paying the entirety of rent and all of our other bills :')))) i don't know what to do honestly i feel like i'm drowning. it feels like she doesn't care even tho she says she's trying and is stressed too

i also did our taxes, i had to do hers bc she'll literally just keep putting it off and keep putting it off, and she's NEVER filed her taxes?? even though she's been working for years now but we're common law so it's easier to just do it all together but it was literally like pulling fucking teeth to get her to sign up for the cra and give me her t4s and stuff

i'm also pissed bc i'm sick and need to stay home, so i sent her to the store to get cream for coffee, my bus pass for the month, and some cough medicine and i see on my bank acc that she also bought herself a drink with my money (and didn't get me one lol) and now i have 11 cents left. love that. fucking /s if you can't tell. jesus HECKIN christ almighty

anyway. posting on this blog bc barely anyone will read and i just wanna vent. don't mind me

we'll probably be okay. i dunno. i'm trying out here

bye bye

[fuck-customers]

Fuck managers! I scheduled a surgery for mid june in mid april, plenty of time in advance. Also not for anything serious, but definitely something thats been bugging me for almost the entire year so far and has already caused me to miss work, so my supervisors at least vaguely know about it. Also something that will definitely take at least a week or two of recovery so I had to take some time off for it. Our time off request system is online and tells us what days are blackout days and can’t be requested off. Usually that’s reserved for holidays. The days I scheduled said nothing and didn’t seem to be blacked out which was why I picked those time in the first place. You can see where this is going

Fast forward about a week, I’m at work and one of my supervisors asks me to look at the schedule real quick, and she goes “so I denied the vacation days you took in June for father’s day weekend and the blackout days around it, but the rest are good to go :)” Now my managers are actually pretty understanding, and again I had completely forgotten that I had scheduled it over fathers day which was definitely on me, but again there was nothing indicating it on the request system either so I figured they would be fine! I work in a bakery so holidays do tend to be busy but...not fathers day. Most people get their dads steak and shit like that, not fruity colorful cakes (although they definitely should). I’ve worked there for nearly 5 years and fathers day has NEVER been especially notable in terms of sales.

So assuming my boss would be cool and help me work something out if I told her, I was like “oh, I actually scheduled surgery for that time.” Again, usually they’re cool and understanding and actually work around you very well.

Well not today! She was kinda just like “yeah?” and stared at me blankly. So kind of taken aback I was like “uh...I’ll see when I can...reschedule it for I guess?” To which she was like “sounds good!”

Now I had picked the days I did specifically because I’m going on a work trip in mid may and won’t be back until the 31st. Fathers day is the 20th of June and I scheduled surgery for the 11th. So I asked her “I won’t be back from the work trip until May 31st and the only other available surgery date was June 4th...instead of my current date y’all think you would be okay with me just...being gone for a whole month? Or back for a couple days between the 31st and 4th just to leave again?” And keep in mind, literally EVERY time I’ve taken time off in the last year, they’ve asked me to either just not do it or have texted or called me trying to beg me to come in. Every. Time. I know this won’t be any different, and I don’t wanna toot my own horn but I do good work and they STRUGGLE when I’m not there which is exactly why I asked this. But of course she was just like “no yeah that’s fine, hell, just take the whole month off!”

It kind of just ended there but the more I thought about it the more pissed I got. Like the schedule is already out until mid may and I’m not ?? prepared for surgery like right now even if that was an option. Then the work trip, and then doing the surgery on the 4th might not even be enough recovery time before the fathers day blackout starts! I’m not gonna be in pain and risk my recovery for that shit! Not to mention doing it after is out of the question since 4th of July follows so soon after and that’s DEFINITELY a much busier holiday for us. I don’t want to keep waiting to fix this problem and the date I picked really is the best option without pushing it out until almost AUGUST when it’s been bothering me since JANUARY. And I do feel bad for scheduling it over a holiday but again I got no indication that it was blacked out! It’s hard enough already to schedule anything longer than 2 weeks without accidentally doing it over a holiday, at least this holiday isn’t all that busy!

Not to mention the fact that that kind of behavior is on brand for her. She acts super nice and like I said is actually really cool and understanding and is totally cool with working with you with this kind of stuff...unless she’s in a bad mood. She’s very much the type to take shit out on us and sometimes she’s super weird and stubborn and vindictive and it’s just dependent on her mood and how shitty she feels like being to you that day. And since she’s a supervisor she just gets away with it. Earlier that day even my bf had texted me like “hey, (supervisor) is in a bad mood jsyk” and when I come in what does she do? Use her authority to be weird to her employees! She’s always been like that and I have stories on stories about her, this just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyways this story does actually have a happy ending! I continued my day and had just resolved to having to reschedule surgery and figured I would exact revenge by leaving for my trip and just staying away as long as I possibly could, when my team lead comes RUNNING up to me and goes “oh my god, do NOT reschedule your surgery jfc” and I was like “oh but I can if y’all really need me to?” (I’m too nice) to which she goes “NO!! That’s crazy!!! Thank you for even CONSIDERING doing something like that but no absolutely not. You’re not fucking around at home doing nothing for 2 weeks it’s SURGERY.” And ended the conversation by walking away so that was that lol. I’m very glad one of them actually has some sense.

Oh, and other supervisor came up and did this thing she likes to do when she’s wrong where she doesn’t apologize but DOES find a way to just brush off her wrongdoing. This time she comes up to me later in the day and was like “haha yeah I told (team lead) that you told me the time off request that I denied was actually for surgery and she stopped what she was doing, shook her head, and IMMEDIATELY came up to talk to you lol” like yeah no shit dude?? Oh the team lead was disappointed that you’re being a bitch and had to clean up your mess?? And is also actually reasonable and didn’t expect me to literally cancel getting my body cut open to come work a stupid holiday that’s not even busy? Real shocker lmfao

TLDR boss tried to make me reschedule a much needed surgery bc I scheduled it on blackout days that no one told me were blackout, other boss comes thru and is like “wtf thats fucking crazy please don’t do that jfc”

[aerixlee]

Hi, I love After Sunset and have reread it multiple times lol. I wanted to ask if you had any particular method to writing Azula for the fic? I usually don't like the more off the rails depictions of her in fiction but something about the way you write her is viscerally enjoyable to me.

*shows up 3 months later with no hesitation bc getting this ask made me vibrate out of existence with excitement* hello :)

the timing for this ask couldn't have been any better - it genuinely made me so unbelievably happy to read? this exact topic is one of the main things i was (am?) worried about in after sunset, specifically that i wasn't doing it right. i've been nervous since the very beginning that i was writing azula in ways that was difficult to read but fuck this is such a fantastic question and i'm so excited to answer it - this is going to be.... a really really long answer. i definitely got a little (a lot) carried away. sorry in advance lmao

(also it never fails to make me emotional when i hear that people are still rereading) (i might've cried a lil) (just a bit) (i can't believe people haven't forgotten about this fic) (to everyone who has stuck around: i love you more than anything)

for context, i put like..... a lot of thought into how i was going to go about writing azula. like i have pages and pages of notes analyzing her so i could write her character properly and do her justice - i still think i could've done a better job, but it was important to me that i at least do my best. my main thing when i was writing azula was keeping in mind that she is a 14 year old, a child, one who has been the victim of an extreme amount of abuse and emotional manipulation. i posted a response to a comment under chapter 15 back in january that asked for writing advice regarding azula that i think sums up my thoughts fairly well if you want to take a look at it. azula is a traumatized teenager first and foremost; she's not going to accept help easily or trust anyone easily, and i planned her arc out in a way that has multiple ups and downs. it really does get worse before it gets better, and if i end up writing more for this fic, i can promise that the worst has yet to come. we're nowhere near the height of azula's arc yet, and i don't even mean that in a dramatic breakdown sort of way. this has been part 234978 of me wishing that i could skip ahead in my own fic so i could post the scenes that were written months before we even reached the search......... kill me

and i said this in my comment: progress isn't possible unless the person who needs to heal is willing to heal. force doesn't work, coercion doesn't work - it has to be a decision that the person in question makes in order for them to actually take steps forward. healing isn't linear. neither is progress. that's the most important thing to keep in mind.

azula's breakdowns were definitely the most emotionally taxing parts about writing her. i personally tend to avoid reading fics that show azula's breakdowns to the extent that i wrote them for some reason? and i was very hesitant to write it myself, so i was really really careful in how i approached it. i didn't want to take things too far, but i also knew that i had to push the boundaries of what i tackled a lot more than i already was. i needed to show how bad she was getting, not just tell it, and i needed to justify the reason behind each moment of her behavior. not sure if i did it right, but i tried.

(as a side note, i wrote a lot of this fic during a time in which things were uhhhh not so great mentally for me, so azula and zuko are written in a way that is very very close to my heart. that could also have something to do with the way scenes are written, so i thought it was worth mentioning.)

azula is an incredibly calculated individual. her breakdowns, by contrast, show her doing things out of pure instinct, doing what she "wants" to do rather than what she's put a lot of thought into doing. and that fascinated me to no end when i was reading the comics; i thought the authors' approach was really interesting despite some of the less favorable aspects of her portrayal. in other words: catharsis!!!!! i wrote those scenes to be cathartic to azula specifically!!!!! not for the reader, not for me as the writer: for azula, the character, and what that meant for her in the scene and the moment - especially within a larger context. and it was so so so fucking emotionally draining to write, but that's what it was. i did my best to ramp up the emotional intensity to the max, and i also tried to make sure that every single thing that azula said or did had that element of reasoning behind it. because yeah, she's not thinking everything through like she would if she wasn't in full breakdown mode, but she's still azula. and azula doesn't do anything without reason, even if those reasons are superficial and weird and vaguely questionable. i tried to make sure that nothing azula did or said was without motive, and i'm not quite sure if i managed to pull it off, but hey, that was my goal.

hopefully all of that makes sense? i'm not quite sure if it does or not but i could genuinely talk about this fic for hours. i might be writing other things now, and i might be mortified by the absolutely horrible writing of the earlier chapters, but i will still talk forever about literally anything with this fic. that's a threat and a promise.

i reread some comments and looked through my inbox bc of this ask and now i'm emotional lmao wow i miss this fic and you all sm. also specifically to anon: i hope this answered your question! and if you wanted clarification on anything, feel free to shoot me another ask - i know a few things here are probably a little confusing lmao i was rambling a lot out of excitement. and thank you again for the ask!!

anyways. love yall <3

[briellelevi]

『 maude apatow. twenty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that GABRIELLE LEVI from CHESTNUT DRIVE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -INVASIVE & -IMPULSIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool FLORIST and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +AFFECTIONATE & +IDEALISTIC. i hope i see them around again! 『 kenna. twenty. cst. she/her. 』

basics

full name: gabrielle luisa levi.

nicknames: gabby, gabs (family only), brielle, bri, elle, etc

age: twenty-one.

birthday: january 23rd, 1999 (capricorn)

gender / pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: bisexual.

family: david levi (father), katherine carmichael (mother), older brother, aurora levi (older sister)

hometown: mapleview.

background

meet the youngest levi child: gabrielle. most know her as brielle, the nickname she started going by when she was thirteen. no one rlly calls her gabrielle except for her family & super close family friends.

she was always super close to her dad growing up. like.... total daddy’s girl. it probably had a lot to do with her dad being the ‘fun parent’ tbh 

looves her siblings! always. was v much the annoying nosy little sister growing up. meddled quite a bit in their personal affairs. did the same to her friends too tbh. but in a well meaning way! she just wants her friends and family to be happy and thinks that sometimes they just need a push, yanno??

juggled a million different activities throughout school. she was always picking up new hobbies and was just... trying new things constantly.  embroidery. sewing. drawing. she got rlly into writing one summer and even wrote a book! it uh... wasn’t very good. she was like twelve, ok?

she played quite a few sports in middle & high school. her personal favorite and the one she consistently came back to every year was tennis. oh, she loved everything about it! she did really contemplate maybe becoming a professional tennis player but... she wasn’t that good and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle that much pressure. 

and even with her million hobbies, she still found time to act out a bit. she was constantly sneaking out of the house. to go to parties, to hang out with her on again/off again boyfriend, to sneak into abandoned buildings after dark. why? she couldn’t really tell you. maybe it was just her boyfriend’s influence or it was her acting out due to her parents fighting OR acting out because her dad was the mayor and it always seemed like everyone’s eyes were on her anyways. who knows! she doesn’t. it was fun though. she does look back on those times fondly.

she has always been very impulsive and not rlly the best at making decisions. she went and got a tattoo of her boyfriend’s initials when she was eighteen. like... right on her eighteenth birthday. she was young, in love, and wanted to prove it. he did the same.

two more impulsive tattoos followed that one. one of a bee on a flower & one that says “remember who you are”. she still has yet to regret the last two. she thinks they’re nice. 

and probably the biggest impulsive decision she’s ever made - she moved to new york city with her boyfriend when she was nineteen. it was while her parents were divorcing and she kinda just wanted to get away. from her mom more than her anyone, she was just like... really upset and angry with her. even though rationally she knew that her parents were probably better off apart. at first, she just wanted to take a trip but her boyfriend was wanting to move so she thought... hey! why not? and off she went. 

she got a job at a little flower shop in new york that really opened her eyes to just how much she loved flowers. she had always been the type of kid to just pluck flowers out of the ground (sometimes out of her neighbor’s garden) and give them to her friends and family. she just never really thought that she could do something with flowers as a job.

a year after the move though, she learned that her boyfriend had been cheating on her. almost for like... the whole time they had been living there??? a mutual friend told her and she was honestly just heartbroken. 

and to like.... everyone’s surprise, her mom was the one she called in tears that night. she’ll say that she just called her mom because she knew her dad was busy as mayor but really... she just wanted her mom. her mom picked her up as soon as she could and brielle ended up staying with her for a few months. it was a nice time for the two of them and they repaired their relationship a bit. it was good for them 

she ended up moving into an apartment with some old friends from high school and has been ever since she moved back (which... if my math is correct was about a year ago?? give or take). she likes having roommates. 

lil fun facts

rides a bike basically everywhere she goes. she knows how to drive, she just prefers not to. the whole thing just makes her really nervous.

loves to cook!!! is always cooking different meals for her roommates. has been known to cook breakfast for any one nightstands/fwbs/significant others her roommates have had over. 

likes insects. she just thinks they’re Neat. has seriously considered starting up beekeeping as a hobby. she’s done a lot of research into it but she doesn’t think her current residence is the best place for it. 

went vegan for like a month back in high school. still enjoys a lot of vegan dishes though! she tries to eat vegan at least once a week. 

likes flavored lemonades. strawberry is her favorite and is the usually what she has in the house. whether she made it herself or just bought a jug from the store. depends on how she’s feeling that week. 

has a lil kitty cat named pepper! she technically adopted pepper with her ex-boyfriend but he just let her take her :) 

really likes pressing flowers. she likes to make art out of them and has considered starting an etsy shop. not just for the pressed flower art but for some of her embroidery and sewing projects.

is looking to cover her tattoo of her ex’s initials.... if anyone has any ideas pls hit her up she’s so tired of looking at it its so cringe-y

wanted connections

her roommates!! she probably has like... 2 or 3 of them? they should be around the same age as her considering most of them are her friends from high school. 

best friend since childhood! they kept in touch when brielle moved away but it just wasn’t the same. was probably overjoyed when she moved back!!! could be her roommate too? maybe? idk. up 2 you!

high school exes - people she dated before her ex. or even during one of the times they had broken up. they were always off & on in high school.

her ex she moved to new york with? could be fun.... why did he move back? who knows!

almost lover/one that got away - this is gonna be the most specific one but like... they were always super close friends. they had feelings for brielle. had this dramatic “Hey, I Love You” confession right before she moved away in a hope that maybe she’d choose to stay. rlly confused her tbh. she left anyway. now she’s back! they could decide to just be friends. maybe they’re over her but brielle has feelings for them. maybe they BOTH like each other but think the other one doesn’t. we could do anything! i just like... angst.

family friends - yanno... friends of the family. could be friends with her dad or her mom. or was a mutual friend idk.

hmmm... this is all i can think of atm... i’m rlly up for anything! i’m gonna try to make like an actual in-depth wanted connections page but no promises bc i can be lazy :// 

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[cilliankelly]

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace 

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it. 

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really.  not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

[clvrissa]

[ ODEYA RUSH. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ] [ ƈʟǟʀɨֆֆǟ "ʀɨֆֆǟ" ƈօաɛռ ] is a [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old [ FIRST AID ] at camp reviere. [ SHE ] makes me think of [ hand stitched skirts, tarot cards shuffled but never dealt, silence ringing in your ears ]. their favorite horror movie is [ THE EVIL DEAD ] and they remind me of [ ֆǟʀǟɦ ɮǟɨʟɛʏ ]. [ ally. 22. est. she/her. ]

what’s up, y’all ???? my name is ally, i have a love/hate relationship with horror, i simp for bailey sarian, i’m extremely inconsistent with the Aesthetic, and i’m here with my fucked-up daughter, rissa !!! her inspo is, ofc, sarah bailey, but instead of magic it’s psychometry. cool? cool. details are below, and yes, this is a novel, but there’s tl;drs.

ֆȶǟȶɨֆȶɨƈֆ.

full name. clarissa genevieve cowen  nickname(s). rissa. she hates clarissa.  occupation. first aid at camp reverie, nursing student  age. twenty-one.  date of birth. january 27, 1963 nationality. american. ethnicity. ashkenazi jewish.  orientation. lesbian. gender & pronouns. cis female, she/her.

height. 5′8″.  weight. 150 lbs. eye color. grey-blue.  hair color + style. dark brown, curly, usually messy. she tries to braid it and keep it back but it always tends to get free.  distinguishing features. those spooky eyes, her homemade baggy clothes, deep and deadpan voice, 

ɮɨօɢʀǟքɦʏ.

born to a mechanic and the town psychic in louisiana in 1963, rissa was kind of destined to be an outcast. or, so she thought; her brother, chaplin, never had too much trouble fitting in.

she was more visibly the psychic’s daughter, though. not only bc she has wild hair, piercing eyes, and is terribly shy. from a young age, her mom used her as a prop during readings, the creepy little girl in the corner of the room. apparently chaplin couldn’t stay still long enough to be spooky :////

that was, until rissa helped one of her mom’s clients clean up her spilled purse, and she touched an old compact mirror. suddenly, she saw what it had seen, and blurted out that this was her mother’s old mirror, that she’d bought it in london and that it had seen war. 

so, her mother asked her to take part in the readings, sometimes. if there was an important object, she’d give it to rissa to evaluate. even if there wasn’t, she’d still put the client’s purse, coat, whatever next to rissa, in case she picked anything up. 

sometimes rissa couldn’t get anything, so she made things up. sometimes she sensed something, and sometimes, too often, she sensed something too awful to even keep the object in her hands. at least once a month, rissa saw something bad enough that she’d run to the attic and hide until her brother came to get her out. you can fill in the blanks there. 

it was when she was ten that her teacher told her there was always a scientific explanation for things, and that magic wasn’t real. she clung to that, and asked to read about seeing things. her teacher told her to find the dsm ii in the public library. what she found... made sense but was almost worse than magic. since then, she’s been convinced she’s sick, and she’s making all the things she saw up in her head. 

she also researched treatments, and that made her want to keep her mouth shut even more. 

she started to avoid readings as much as she could. her mother told her she was wasting her gift. rissa insisted it wasn’t a gift, it was an illness. a disease. 

uhhhhhhhh went full goth in high school. collected bones and hung out with the weird kids and smoked weed while listening to joy division in the woods. she didn’t like to touch people, she felt fucked up, and they were all okay with that. her best friend used to read lovecraft to her when she got high and rissa realized she was in love. she swallowed it down like she swallowed everything else down. 

she spent the last few months of high school living with her father, since her mother didn’t want her to go to nursing school. her brother helped her leave home, and now she’s a nursing student at a community college. 

tl;dr the psychic’s daughter has psychometry, sees some fucked up shit, suppresses her powers and convinces herself she’s having hallucinations, becomes a goth lesbian nursing student, 

քɛʀֆօռǟʟɨȶʏ.

let’s get one thing straight: rissa doesn’t have a fucking clue who she is. she sees herself as something of a shattered mirror; trying to imitate what she thinks people want to see, but too dangerous to touch, to really know. she’s constantly recreating her identity as a result, as some kind of illusion. if she’s mysterious, nobody can tell when something is wrong. 

she makes almost all her own clothes out of like. patchworks of other clothes. this is partially because she’s poor and partially because she likes things that are her own. and also definitely because she can’t find light enough clothing to provide her with the preferred amount of coverage in the summer without being too hot. 

yeah, she wears full length skirts made out of tshirts and old lady cotton cardigans every day, so that she can’t accidentally brush up against anyone and activate her psychometry. also because she hates being known in any capacity. they’re patchwork. she looks like a bag lady. 

she is still a very shy person, but she pretends to be cold and kind of mean instead. if she likes you, though, she’s just sarcastic and trying really hard to be funny. 

Big Lesbian. Huge. 

doesn’t want to be Known. if you’ve known her for longer than a year she’s been like five different people. whenever she feels like she’s falling into a pattern, she does something she thinks no one will expect. her motivation is as flakey as the fucking wind. 

in truth she’s incredibly sensitive and takes everything personally because her self-esteem is like. below rock bottom. 

still has nightmares about what she’s seen with her abilities, though she’s blocked a lot of it out during her day-to-day. if you’ve seen her have a nightmare, she’ll pretend it never happened. 

for some reason, she loves old people. maybe it’s because she can tell if they like her or not from the moment she meets them, and as a result, she doesn’t really care what they think. but also... she loves stories. 

probably has a lovecraft book with her at all times. still very much a goth. 

big Daria vibes. 

collects animal bones. she found a deer skull when she was a kid and all she felt when she touched it was peace. she slept with it like a teddy bear. even though she’s since suppressed her psychometry, she still finds animal bones to be somewhat soothing. 

at parties, the type of person to steal a bottle of vodka and a bag of cheetos and hiding in the bathtub to get turnt. that’s living the good life. if you need to pee, sucks, she’s not moving. 

anyways have some tik toks 

(body image tw) big mood

her last two brain cells trying to destroy her psychometry 

instead of spongebob quotes its joy division lyrics 

աǟռȶɛɖ ƈօռռɛƈȶɨօռֆ.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖎𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖙. an opposites attract kind of thing. her camp bestie that is very much on the straight and narrow while she tends to wanna go. all over the place. she definitely calls them a nerd daily. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑. someone whose leg she likes to pull, who she’ll regale with scary stories, whether they want her to or not. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘. a girl rissa has a major crush on. not like she’ll ever say it out loud. 

𝖏𝖚𝖉𝖌𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙. a good influence of sorts. someone who curtails some of rissa’s more chaotic tendencies and sees the potential she has. someone who rissa actually feels a responsibility to.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑. opposite of judgement. someone who brings out the worst, most chaotic and painful and hurtful parts of her. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘. someone who understands her trauma, to some extent. they connect on that deep level, even if they don’t connect on the surface. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖙. she someone she can get weird with yk. probably smokes weed with her and knows a little too much about her for comfort. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖗. authority for her to rebel against. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗. someone with a fucked up past that triggers her psychometry like nothing else. maybe she brushed against them on the first day of camp and almost passed out. she avoids them like the plague. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓. their optimism fucking kills her. she wants so badly to be mean to them but can never bring herself to. makes her want to be kind. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓. is fascinated by her past life as a psychic prop and thinks she’s So Cool. rissa is probably crueler to them than anyone else, because she doesn’t want to think about that time in her life. 

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[ayediosmila-blog]

hi everyone i’m mini, i’m excited to play my new muse with everyone! as always, i wrote way to much, welp. if you get through this you’re a champ! 

(FEMALE. SHE/HER ) you know MILAGROS VENTURI, right? they’re TWENTY ONE and majoring in SCULPTURE/ARCHITECTURE? still nothing? well, they look exactly like BECKY G, so you can’t miss them. i’ve heard they’re really DEDICATED, but super MESSY too… it makes perfect sense that they’re a AQUARIUS. anyways, if you see them, tell them they left their PHONE in class and that i have it. ( mini, est, she/her, 23 )

Like this and i’ll im you to plot <3

⇢ STATS 

FULL NAME: Milagros Antonia Rivera De Costa Venturi

PRONOUNCIATION: MEEEE-LAH-GROSS

NICKNAMES: millie, meels, mil, mila, shorty,

AGE: 21

D.O.B : January 25th 1998

HEIGHT: 5′0

OCCUPATION: barista

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius

SEXUALITY: bisexual 

NATIONALITY: American

ETHNICITY: Mexican

BIRTHPLACE: oaxaca, mexico

CURRENT LOCATION: new york city, new york / seattle washington

LANGUAGE SPOKER: english, italian, portuguese, and spanish

⇢ ORIGINS

So milagros was actually born in oaxaca, mexico, but she was given up to her aunt who eventually gave her up to the officials.

mila was moved to different adoption agencies, and at two years old she ended up in one in mexico city where she met her parents. 

It wasn’t long after until mila moved to the USA, ending up in new york with her new family. 

Marco and Claudia Venturi were already parents to 6 boys - who were closer to being men at the point milagros showed up. One thing they didn’t have was a girl, and since they couldn’t get it the old fashioned way, they decided to just adopt instead. They had the means to do it anyway.

Marco Venturi is a retired politician, he’s had a very reputable career, and now since his retirement he works a lot with habitat for humanity and his ultimate goal is for inclusive spaces. 

Claudia De Costa Venturi is a fashion designer with a known reputation in europe, her brand DCVenturi became popular in the american market as well

The family lived in New York, New York City most of the time, but both Marco and Claudia wanted their kids to see the world, so they travelled often, and it became easier since a lot of their kids were older, so the only ones that would go where the younger ones.

If you were to ask Milagros what she remembered from Mexico, it wouldn’t be much. Growing up she didn’t feel different from her siblings, and her parents never made her feel like she ever was either. her parents didnt even want milagros to forget where she was really from, so often they would go on trips with her to mexico, and decided to keep her original name. 

⇢ BACKGROUND

to this day, milagros hates her long name, it’s super difficult to fill in on documents and it’s annoying when it comes to having fill out forms. She often goes by Mila, but Millie would be the second most nickname for her

she went to the best schools, often private where they had the uniforms, it was sort of a gossip girl situation with her growing up, except she was captain of the cheer team, and she was on other things like track team, prom committee, drama club, art club, music club. she was involved a lot because her parents put her in a lot of extracurriculars out of school too.

because her parents are influential, millie’s been on a couple papers, she loves to get dressed for night outs. fashion week is exciting for her, and she definitely sometimes got caught not in her best by random strangers. 

Besides her parents, she’s had to deal with the lives of her brothers, and they’ve all come out successful whether it’s owning a restaurant, being some kind of YouTuber, or even an everyday teacher. not to mention it sucked being the youngest and a girl with so many older brothers.

the Venturi kids had everything at their disposal, and as you can see, millie’s only problem was figuring out what she wanted.

you’d think millie knew what she wanted, right? not at all. honestly for her a lot of what she was doing was bc her parents made her.

when millie turned 18, she decided she wanted to reconnect with her biological parents alone, and as much as it made her parents uncomfortable, they agree to let her go alone. So for a few months, she lived in Mexico, with her cousin because alone didnt meant alone alone lol 

millie met her real parents, and that in itself was emotional. for the rest of her time in mexico she learned about the culture, the people, it was a big game changer for her.

she knew that she was different than her family, she saw it growing up, and there ofc were people who would tell her, in a way she went into a bit of an identity crisis.

⇢ POST-SECONDARY/PERSONALITY/NOW

She didn’t want to live in New York much anymore, kinda tired of a super busy city so she decided to go to somerset in seattle washington for sculpture and architecture.

her parents were surprised since millie could have gone to any school in the state, ivy league even.

even if she got into somerset a, she actually deferred for a year, so she’s only been at somerset for 2 years. 

millie decided on sculpture and architecture because she lives the idea of designing buildings and homes. after uni she wants to go abroad and help construct homes for those who can barely afford it, or somehow work together with Habitat for Humanity.

in her free time she really likes doing pottery, often you can catch her at uni after hours in the labs doing something. 

besides there, you can find her in a coffee shop nearby the university called Second Cup. it’s not like she needs money since her parents fought her to pay everything for her - mila just wanted to work, so she does as a barista and it’s really the only time she’s the most social. catch her doing some cute latte art with your drinks cos she’s bored. 

mila fortunately lives alone but she’s barely there, so the living room is spotless but her work room, cos ofc she lives in a two bedroom but she lives alone, sdfkjsadk her work room is what she calls ‘an organized mess’ and it’s where she’ll have her supplies and models. 

millie is very much go with the flow and down with everything when she’s not busy working or doing school stuff

she was very much involved in high school, and in uni she’s.. half involved? she’s a part of some clubs but not rlly, most of her time is spent in art labs or sketching in the library

she had a bit of a wild youth, and now she’s kind of chill but if you were to get her drunk, she’s a fun dumb, says really stupid stuff and laughs at everything. she kinda just wants to hug everyone. 

ppl call her perfect cos she has money, knows how to do a lot of things and millie hates it bc she has her own insecurities too

sometimes she can get snarky, especially if you’re on her bad side. she loves to argue, and even when she knows she’s wrong, she’s right. no questions. 

don’t hate her but she’s forgetful asf if it’s about everyday things. 

her favourite holiday is winter, she loves ice skating, snow, hot chocolate, peppermint. catch her apartment already have a christmas tree up while some christmas lifetime movie is on tv lol

she’s pretty much a sweetheart unless you piss her off lolol she’d love to pick someone’s brain over a cup of coffee.

if you give her a reason to dress up she loves it, if she has no reason you can catch her in sweats, especially if it’s cold outside.

when it comes to relationships, they were always hard for her since she wasn’t sure if they liked her for her money, her status or to gain some connection to her family. she’s dated people who are both rich or poor, and so far she’s unimpressed with everyone lol

her friends are.. a lot bc she’s rlly not picky with who she’s friends with when she probably should. 

⇢PLOT IDEAS/CONNECTIONS

neighbours!

met at a drunk and turn out to be in the same class

cousin!

childhood friend

exes good and bad

coworkers

could have met in the library, 

study group/study buddy

maybe they met at some club 

a connection where one is using the other

crush

fwb?

just

evERYTHING

but honestly i want all the plots!!

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[fuck-customers]

LET'S GO LADIES

It's been a fucken minute but I've got stories to tell. This is gonna be a long fucking post so warning

Tdlr; we're severely understaffed I'm overworked and my supervisor is a incompetent condescending asshole. Also there's a lunch goblin

It's your pizza made fast manager turned to factory worker in case anyone remembers(prolly not I didn't post too much)

So things were pretty good at the factory job for a while, course there were complaints but what job doesn't have one? But then we start losing people, either they quit or got fired or was a temp and got let go. And as we're losing people we're getting into the time of year where we're getting way more busy and it's only going to grow until the end of the year.

So a brief explanation of how my department works; We pack labels for customers all over the country and out, and there are short run packers and long run packers. Short run handles the smaller orders and go by how many orders they do in a day. Long run handles big ass orders and go by how many boxes. Long run only needs about 4 ppl whereas short run generally needs at minimum 4 to operate smoothly. As of this week (9/9-9/13) short run has two packers including myself. Now my department also ships the orders as well, we put the orders on a belt and it goes to a computer where you activate and ship the order. I am one of 2 people who know how to ship as well so guess what I have to do? That's right, ship AND pack back and forth. And sometimes I have to do other things as well so I'm essentially doing the job of 3 people by myself. If that wasn't bad enough my supervisor is a complete and utter fool. He's been here over a year and officially a supe since January and he STILL has no idea what he's doing or how this department works. Shit I've only been here since March but I know more than him at this point! He doesn't understand how to keep the shift going smoothly and the other supes have been taking our team lead so that he can learn more but all that's doing is stressing us out because he doesn't listen and he goes too our lead anyway bc again he doesn't know anything!

And then there's his attitude. Idk if he truly thinks he's better than us but that is the definite feeling I get from him when he speaks to us. And GOD FORBID you stop working to take a breather or chat real quick or fucking just PAUSE(I do this when I'm figuring out what box to use) he's ON YOUR CASE about it. He loves to do this loud ass clap and shout "LET'S GO LADIES" every. Fucking. Night. Sometimes multiple times a night. It's getting to the point I either need to bring it up with management or im going to snap at him and lose my job.

We also have a lunch goblin.

There's this woman that works in warehouse. She's from the temp agency and she's been here about two months or so. Everyday without fail she will ask someone who is leaving on break to get her food as well. Which, fine, you don't have a car that's understandable but... you're a grown ass adult. You can MAKE food. Don't give the excuse I'm broke bitch we're all broke! But also, be fucking polite! Don't get in my face asking if I'm going out somewhere and getting pissed when I say no. She will hound anyone who is offering food too and there's no thank you or anything.

Yesterday(9/11) I got taco bell with two of my friends and not even getting in the door of the place she sees us and goes "well damn if I'd known y'all were going to taco bell i could have had some lunch!" And this upstairs bitch beside her says. "Oh, they never ask.."

EXCUSE ME?! What's my name bitch?! Do you know it? Cause I don't know yours! I don't know anything about you, why the fuck would I ask a complete stranger if they want food?! Am I supposed to go through the entire factory asking everyone if they want food, am I an errand boy, is that part of my job description? NO! YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY TIME. You don't get to act like IM the bad guy because I didn't get you, a STRANGER, fucking food! Are you fucking kidding me?!

This is getting too long so I'll end with this; I don't hate the work, it's honestly fine and I love the friends I've made working here. But if something doesn't fucking change or if i don't get into a different department I will lose my shit. Quit treating your employees like emotionless robots and give me a FUCKING raise

[byebyechloe]

So I’ve been contemplating writing this for awhile...

about.... let’s see, I need to do the math.

we broke up January 15th.

Then we talked until, what would you say? the third Monday of February?

Yes, February 18th. I remember that night well. It shook me to the core, that's when our break up... really began to be our break. up. 

but then let me throw this at you. this low low low LOW number.

18 days. (That’s how many days you had me blocked. I’m assuming... if not less. I accidentally came up on that realization one day. So who knows.)

I took the ballsy choice of adding you back on snap, being subtle. you added me back the same night, and thats when it all began again. 

well... kinda, took us until, when? probably like 2 Fridays later? I slid into your texts to tell you about a artist I liked and thought you’d vibe too. Ironically, you already fucked with him too. 

Then that next weekend I gave you the entire snapchat tour of the 2nd Ben Rector concert we didn't attend together, but this one we had planned too...

and then I think... the next Friday is when I took a huge risk on my mental health and dropped sam off at Julies and off I was! back to the place in the middle of the damn trees, just to spend a night with you again, that I thought would just be a random hook up, and then we’d just let it all go again. but no.

I left that bed with plans to be back the next weekend, and then plans to hangout when you moved home for the “short” time you had planned before “moving away back east”, that ended up being an entire summer, and you ended up being A LOT closer than you planned when you did finally move away again in October. But this moving away didn’t happen of course, until after another big “I'm sick of you!” argument from us both (after an ironically, perfect Saturday with you. I still think about that night. so cute and romantic in the weirdest, not romantic way.) and then we talked on and off for another time. this was a little longer than 18 days, but wasn’t longer than 3 weeks. And you were back around, and I was stronger alone, but so was my strong belief in the damn signs I've been getting the last fucking YEAR of us doing this ~thing~ of ours from the big guy up there (imagine me pointing, yanno me, i’m an awkward bitch who points, bet you can imagine my torn up nails too. you always remind me to stop biting them. thanks for that.)

Oh.. yeah, hey, happy 1 year of crossing paths (again, if you count the years we didn’t really /know/ each other, but were in the same friend circle... somehow. idk.) and taking away my right to say “i’ve never fallen inlove like for real for real!” (my words, not society’s.) 

But yeah, when I sit here and type, I realize I won’t get as much out as I will whenever you give me the chance to say it all out loud (if you could be /so/ kind), but let me get to my favorite part of the last 365 days.

I’ll start with the fact that... that night.... I almost cancelled on you 3 fucking times. This was before I caught on to God’s lessons that he embedded in our encounter and friendship. Now I see this was his small beginning and it was with the fact that we both come from two different lives and backgrounds, that being symbolized by the fact that I usually eat dinner at like... 5 pm. and you are a more 7 pm guy. By 6:30 I was not only hangry, but beginning to let my anxiety and trust issues from my past start to creep in. “He is really gonna pull this? after 3 weeks of us talking? AND its the day before my birthday? how rude.” I thought. I even told my friends twice I wanted to drop the date, and they both said to do what made me happy. But yanno what I did that I never do? especially in that season of life I was in? (this was “fuck guys, none of them deserve me anyway) phase, by the way. I’m still in it, but you’re an exception.)

I just said... “no. I’ll give him 10 more minutes”.... three times. But yanno what?

It was the best decision I ever fucking made in my ENTIRE life. (other than that one time we... yanno... had sex for (my) the first time (ours together). Sorry but I mean you saw this coming right?) 

You kept me talking and laughing from the moment I walked out of my front door that night... all the way until, well, that night we broke up in January. Yet, I think you still made me giggle a few times before we finally hung the 3 hour phone call up. 

OH! Our first date was November 15th, 2018. Crazy... we broke up literally... 2 months after our first date. That’s super weird. This isn’t the first time that dates have aligned like that in my life. It’s whatever, ANYWAY. 

Back to the story! So. Yeah. Best night of my life. seriously. Going out with you that night was the best decision I ever made. It was so fun and sweet and carefree and I was so happy. 

Bro-- you make me /SO/ fucking happy.

 Even after all the shit we’ve gone through, I’d still pick you over any guy on this damn planet, and that says a lot about me considering you’re very deep into your “bachelor szn” of life right now. Which I’m happy af for you for, that is a sick time of life, and you deserve to live it. I just appreciate you keeping me around for the nights you want someone to hold and kiss and watch movies with. (the dinner was an added bonus, and very sexy. so keep it up for me pls. I promise I will reciprocate my thanks.)

But anyway. The 1st date, it was the night I think God sealed the deal of the whole “you’re gonna fall inlove with this guy when y'all kiss” thing. I never really believed in that shit, partly bc I hated hallmark movies and hated the entire feeling of love after what I thought I knew from my last big relationship before you, but I was so wrong.

I still think about our first kiss a lot, and I hate to admit that because I am not that OOZY with love and emotions. But I do. And I never realized that was the night I fell in love with you, I realized that the last night you and I stayed at Julie and Camden’s... yanno before you met some new girl and started seeing her like 3-4 nights a week? yeah same. I wasn’t a complete mess though, I worked on school and fell in love with the art of teaching, so that was cool. But yeah. That night. You and I literally had so many nights like it this summer, but, yet, THAT night is when I was trying to fall asleep and the memory of our first date was like “yo what up bitch time to relive this day again.”

and I did. and it was amazing. and then when it got to that kissing part (Sam was so annoyed by us, I think. I don’t really remember. it was THAT good of a kiss my dude.) I really realized that is when I began to believe in the fact that a man could possibly love me, or care for me, or just like me again. I was so happy. 

I have learned so many lessons from this whole 365 days (and counting) experience. Let me explain.

- be patient. (THIS was the biggest and hardest one, and its ongoing. I want to say I’m doing better.) I've had to really stop myself from getting upset and remind myself, “God wouldn’t keep him around in my life like this if he didn’t have a reason too.” He’d give me all the signs to leave. I’m not too blind to look at both sides, I just see more promise in the good side than to be dramatic and listen to the bad side. I see dedication and hard work on the good side. 

- be trusting. (Now I know you get me when I say, trust issues take up your whole damn life. Maybe not as much anymore because we both are/have gone through the stage of life where you learn “people only take as much as you give. So give a little at a time.” which is what your doing now, and is what I learned to start doing... then I met you and ended up dumping all my trust into you. but not in the way you may think, it has taken this entire year for me too. so you’re welcome). I have really started seeing how much I trust you, and how much you deserve it. But I won’t lie and say there aren’t times you don’t deserve me, and I KNOW that. But I refrain from screaming it at you, because.... what is that going to help at this point? The time isn’t here yet, if it ever comes, but if it does, you’ll know I’ve waited to say it, followed up with the whole hearted reason I never let it be why I gave up, because I never will give up on you.*

* When you and I started dating (11...24...18.... yeah. you get why I put it in numbers, right?) You told me in text that night to not give up on you, because you’re still young and still learning. I said I understood and wouldn’t, because you made me (and still do) the happiest girl on this earth. no cap, boo. You also said it and say it almost every time you are drunk and next to me in bed. “Don’t give up on me baby. please.” and my most favorite time, which was Christmas, “Don’t give up on me baby and I swear, I’m going to make our life together so damn great.” and yanno? I still believe it. and Always will. (scouts honor, boo.)

- Be understanding. (This one is gonna get deep.) So, I know, most movies will show you a girl who is a friend of the girl in love, or the guy who is the best best friend of the guy who is also in love tell one of the two that they need to just man up and say how they feel to the other one, even if that other one doesn’t want to believe it. Or better yet, tell the person THEY don't see how inlove they are with a person. Now I won’t sit here and act like I haven’t wished I could come across you with the desire in my heart to just tell you “don’t you see how fucking perfect we are for eachother?” because thats not realistic. That would of pushed me away from any man (and actually has before) who said it to me. SO WHY would I ever try to make someone push you to believe it? Let alone myself? You will realize it yourself someday, or maybe a friend will notice it and mention it to you, but I won’t ever be the one to tell you I think you are dumb for not seeing our potential. I’m fine with waiting until you figure it out. As far behind as you are in the feelings and independence stage in life... emotionally... I am in the independence and living stage... physically. We just did things backwards. 

This is getting long (if it wasn’t a surprise) but...

I love you, boo. I always will, and apparently have since the first night you took me to chilis. So let’s just say this has been a wild year, but I can’t wait for the rest of the others. 

Have fun with whatever/whoever you’re doing, Hope to see ya soon and get my face wash back that I “forgot” two weeks ago.

love, 

your future wifey, hehe. ;)

jk.

love always, Chloe. (or when you like to make me mad, Coco.)