#cause she was trying to explain she was being quote on quote mean to me bc she couldn’t handle another issue

[lilgynt]

i don’t have the heart to tell my mom the scooter doesn’t work inside the house bc of the hoarding so i’ve been just limping with my broken foot and hoping for the best

[whore-4-drewstarkey]

Jealous of The Past: Milo Manheim x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N brings milo back to her home state to meet her family for the first time all while attending her mom’s works annual family picnic celebration at an event venue. while attending however milo starts to notice a worker flirting with Y/N and gets jealous.

Warning: milo being jellyyyyyyy. fluff, angst?, suggestive comments/content (my favvv), awkward interactions, language, mean siblings, and i am sure i’m forgetting stuff.

A/N: let’s just say my mom’s work has a family picnic at an event venue i used to work at every year and the guy i like works there still with his dad…. and side note: he would lead me on all the time and then rejected me :,(. and i found out today that he blocked me on socials…. this is feeding the flame and encouraging me even more to write this to feel better about it :) I hope you all enjoy this like I did while writing it! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PREQUEL!!! like when they first met and started dating :) ALSO, thank you all so much for being patient with me. means so so so much<3 feedback would be gladly appreciated:))

-

“hey mi, i just got off the phone with my mom…” Y/N spoke as she waltzed into her and milo’s living room, plopping onto the couch, she layed her head in his lap, her legs draped across the rest of the couch. seconds later, she noticed he’d been on facetime with his own mother, so she rolled over onto her stomach to face the camera.

“say hi to my mo- ow that hurt” he chuckled as she accidentally elbowed milo in the ribcage, while attempting the roll over, but stopped when he handed her the phone to say hello to his mother.

“sorry babe, put a shirt on then” she smirked as she placed her ice cold left hand on his bare abdomen, making him yell.

“stop it Y/N your hands feel like you’ve just done a polar plunge. mom tell her to stop” milo whined to his mom, shoving his face into view on the camera of his phone.

“hi camryn. it still feels so weird to say your first name. i still want to call you ms manheim” Y/N giggled at milo’s mom on the screen, waving to her.

“milo, shhhh. Y/N is talking, don’t interrupt her. go put a shirt on if you think her hands are cold. and hello dear! how are you? and i already told you, don’t ever call me ms. manheim ever again. you’re family at this point so call me camryn!”

“but m-“ milo began before Y/N put her free hand over his mouth to shut him up from complaining about her cold hands, only for him to try and bite it.

“ew milo, stop you’re turning into lou” Y/N chuckled as she wiped his own spit onto his chest, causing him to chuckle and plant a kiss to her temple. “and i’m doing good. i was just on the phone with my mom and she wants to ‘meet the man you’re living with that i nor anyone else has ever seen’. she’s very over dramatic” Y/N gave air quotes before she sits her hand back on milo’s abdomen, causing him to screech again.

“Y/N stop touching my stom- wait your mom wants to meet me?” milo began to complain but stopped mid-sentence when he registered what she’d said.

“wait, she doesn’t know that you two are dating? i mean as a mother i understand her concerns love, i do. i don’t think she’s being dramatic at all” camryn spoke in honesty to her sons girlfriend.

“well, she knows i’m dating a guy named milo. that’s it. she’s never seen him. but to be fair we didn’t want a lot of people knowing because i know it’ll get into the media and i just wanted to wait it out as long as possible before i’m shown off. because with media comes hate and i don’t take kindly to hate. and my mom has quite a loud mouth. can’t keep anything hush hush” Y/N began to explain to milo’s mother as milo just gazed down at his girlfriend who continues to lay in his lap. “it’s her works annual family picnic celebration. so to sum it up, she wants me to bring milo with me to have the family meet him. it’s at a private event venue and it’s the same one they go to every year. it’s always fun”

Y/N began to answer milo’s question next as she looks up into his eyes, “yes, mi, my mom wants to meet you. trust me though, she’s not the one you should worry about. you should worry more about my dad maybe? or my older brother and big sister. my little brother will love you though”

“ugh i don’t know how i’m going to survive this” he groaned out as he throws his head back. he begins to open his mouth again, as he bent down to look into the camera of his phone. “mom, as the brilliant and wonderful super mom you are, do you have any advice for me?”

“oh milito, same advice that i’d given you years ago, be your authentic self. you are a great boy. they will love you. but you should also be asking Y/N since she knows her family best” she smiled sweetly to her boy. she was so beyond grateful for the simple fact that he still came to her for advice when things got even the slightest bit tricky for him.

“baby, any pointers?” he cooed down at his girlfriend who still continued to lay in his lap. one of his hands lies draped over her abdomen, while the other plays with her hair.

“oh milito, where to begin” she mocks his childhood nickname.

“ugh Y/N you know i don’t have to let you lay in my lap. you’re so short and tiny i could easily pick you up and put you on the other end of the couch” he groaned for what felt like the twentieth time that night all while Y/N chuckles as camryn began to speak through the phone again.

“milo…. be nice to her” she chuckled as she narrowed her eyes at her son.

“okay okay, but….” and with that he slid one arm under her legs and the other under her arms and lifts Y/N and starts to move her, but not before she begins to whine.

“milo no, stop” Y/N frowned and began again “i just wanted to cuddle” she says as she pouts her lip and lays her head against his lower stomach as she wraps her free arm and hand around him.

“milo i said be nice. stop being a menace. i'm gonna let you two lovebirds go. and please give lou some loving for me. love you both. have a great night”

“love you mom and i will be nice. i’m always nice, especially to Y/N/N” milo says as he blew a kiss to the camera once he’s sat back down.

“bye camryn. love you loads” Y/N says as she has her head nestled into milo’s stomach, and proceeds to also blow a kiss to the camera before they hang up.

“okay Y/N, now tell me, how should i prepare for this? and when is it love?”

“just be yourself. but be careful with what you say”

“what does that even mean? what do you mean by that?” milo freaked out as he rubbed his hands over his face in worry.

“milo, calm down. so when you talk to my dad specifically, just don’t mention politics. he gets way too into it. he’s a great man, has a big heart, would do anything for the ones he loves, but is not great with the politics topic. regardless, he will love you, because he will see how happy i am and how much i love you” Y/N cooed as she sat up in milo’s lap to look up into his eyes.

“good to know. but i never bring up politics in the first conversations with anyone. what about your older brother? what do i need to know about him?” milo asked as his large hand moved down to rub Y/Ns upper thigh.

“he’s a big goof. he’s 8 years older than me, so he’s insanely over protective, so at first he’s gonna interrogate you and ask about our relationship. be open and honest, which i know you will be. once he sees your goofy side, he will fold. especially when he sees how much you make me smile” Y/N spoke as she caressed milo’s cheek, rubbing her thumb over his cheek bone. “continue with your sister” milo smiled as he leaned into her hand.

“now my sister is who you need to worry about most. she’s unpredictable. you and her definitely align politically, but she hates men, minus our dad, brothers and her boyfriend. she’s gonna try to dig deep. she will be blunt and ask some super personal questions, specifically about us. don’t answer the intimate questions. she will be so mad that i didn’t tell her that i finally slept with a guy and will be super offended. i don’t want her to take it out of you. she’s a fireball for sure. i won’t lie, i don’t know if she will love you or not, because it’s a 50/50. but she probably will” Y/N let out overwhelming information about her sister.

“oh. is she the only one who won’t like me?” milo frowned. he definitely isn’t used to people not liking him. everyone loved milo. he connects with everyone he’s ever met it felt like.

“i didn’t say she wouldn’t like you. i just said it’s a 50/50. my mom will also be intrusive about those super personal intimate questions. but i don’t like my family knowing my business. so avoid answering them. make a hand signal to me if anything. but i know she will love you. probably won’t shut up about you once she meets you. she watched a lot of your mom when i was growing up, on ghost whisperer” Y/N chuckled as she looks into her boyfriends scared eyes. “stop worrying. you’ll do just fine” she smiled as she leans in, and planted her plump lips onto his, giving him a few kisses before pulling away.

“and as for my little brother, you and him will probably get along more than i’d like to admit. he’s more serious, but you two think a lot alike. and you two have the biggest hearts and are both super selfless. ew i hate comparing you two. except he’s kinda a dick when he’s mad at me” Y/N chuckled as milo giggled as she spoke.

“okay i’m gonna do great, but you never answered my question, when is this?” milo asked.

“next weekend, in my home state of kansas. you’ve never been, have you?”

“next weekend?! that’s like no time to prepare. and when would i — an LA born and raised guy, who now lives in NYC — have ever gone to kansas of all places? no offense that is”

“fair point. and you’ll do fine. is your mom coming into the city this week at all? or do you want lou to stay with griff?” Y/N asked, and with the sound of his name, little lou ran from around the corner onto their shared couch into their laps.

“ugh lou, you hear that? Y/Ns dragging your dad from you! i’m gonna miss you so much i might cry” milo exaggerated to his dog, lou, who just licked away at milo’s face.

“and i think griff can watch him. my mom has filming to do in LA still” milo continued.

“ugh. you sound like my father when he talks to his dog bax. there’s something you two can bond over” Y/N groaned as she pushed her left hand to milo’s abdomen to help her stand up.

“hey, wait! where are you going? i thought you wanted to cuddle?” he asked as he gently grabbed her wrist.

“i do i do. i just need to go shower. my mom called before i could even take one. i need to wash my hair”

“can i at least come with?” milo asks cheekily.

“come on” Y/N smiles as she grabbed the hand of his that was wrapped around her wrist just mere seconds ago.

-

“okay, so my mom said to text her or call her or whatever when we land. she offered to pick us up, but i told her we’d be fine and that we rented a car”

“is this flight almost over? because to be honest babe, i’m not comprehending anything you’re saying. i just want off this plane” milo pouted, as he laid his head against Y/Ns shoulder. in return, she started to scratch his head of curls.

“yes love, that’s why i was telling you the plan for when we get off. we have like 15 more minutes. are you feeling okay?” Y/N softly asked her boyfriend who lies against her left shoulder. milo had always let her have the window seat, as that was her favorite, even though he’d typically sit there when he flew.

“yeah, just nervous about this flight, and meeting your family tomorrow” he sighs out softly.

“you’re gonna do just fine, sweet boy. when we get off the plane and get our rental, we will head straight to our hotel. and we can just cuddle” Y/N cooed as she kisses the top of his head, hearing a hum of agreement in return on his part.

-

“here we are. i booked the suite for us. even though we’re only staying for a few days, now i don’t know about you, but i’m gonna go shower, change, and get ready for bed because i’m exhausted” Y/N smiled as she sat her luggage down next to the bed the two would be sharing for the next few nights.

“you do that babe, i’m gonna get the clothes i’m gonna wear tomorrow out” milo spoke sweetly as he pecked her cheek. Y/N grinned as she opened her suitcase to grab her toiletries, clothes and skin care items before heading to the large bathroom connected to their room.

once Y/N was finished with her shower, and wrapped up in a complimentary robe, she began to do her nightly routine, only to be met with milo, who was getting ready to take his own shower.

milo stood shirtless, only in his boxers as he looked down at Y/N, “i’ll only be ten minutes. please give me another rundown when i’m done with my shower?”

Y/N softly laid her small hand slightly above his waist, on his bare side, looking up at him, “of course. i may have left some things out anyways” and with that milo leant down and pecked Y/N on the lips softly, before proceeding to undress fully and enter the shower.

-

shortly after Y/N did her nightly routine, she walked out of the bathroom and to milo’s suitcase, digging through it for a t-shirt of his to wear to bed. once she found it, she tiredly put on her underwear and then his t-shirt and climbed into bed, where she laid waiting for her boyfriend.

“okay, so you said you may have forgotten some stuff? what else do i need to know babe?” milo asked as he walked into the bedroom, ruffling his dark curls with a towel, in nothing but his boxers. he turned around and walked briefly back into the bathroom to hang the towel and quickly ran back into the bedroom and on top of Y/N as she quietly giggled below the tall man.

“my love, no offense but you are too heavy, get off of me. not all of us can be six-foot plus. scoot over” she keeps giggling as she attempted to shove his large frame off of her.

he scoffed lightly, turning to look at her in disbelief, “six-foot-three baby. don’t sell me short. and i can’t help you’re tiny. you’re like so short”

“quit griping and teasing me and get under the damn covers already” she sassed back. he silently obeyed with a smirk plastered on his face. he was wrapped around her finger. she knew it. and so did he. but milo didn’t care one bit. once he was under the covers, he wrapped his arm around her, and snaked his hand down her side, brushing up his shirt she’d been wearing, to rest against her bare side, pulling her closer to his bare chest.

“will you please give me another run down already?”

“milo, you sound like a broken record player”

“Y/N come onnnnnn” he teased her.

“ugh, okay fine. so we need to be there by two-thirty. that’s what time i told my mom we’d be there. which means she’s gonna expect us to be there right on the dot. i’m also assuming everyone in the family knows i’m bringing a guy so they will all be there right at two o clock to gossip and to be there when we arrive” Y/N mumbles against milo’s chest as she spoke of the next days plan. she softly scratched right below his sternum just the way he enjoyed before she continued again, “another thing you should know, i used to work there at this event venue for two years when i was nineteen up until i was twenty-one. so don’t be surprised if people come up to me and start talking and asking a bunch of questions”

“okay noted. and what’s the dress code for this thing again? i set out my light washed jeans, birk slide ons and my brazil tank. will that work?”

“yes. that will be perfect. especially since it will be decently hot tomorrow afternoon. kansas city weather can be crazy in the early fall. also, do me a favor”

“what would that be babe?” milo asked as he arched a brow.

“wear those damn glasses. you always look so good in them” Y/N smiled as she snuggled her face further into milo’s chest.

“i will for you i guess. love you, ya sweet, short, queen. also, what did you decide to wear?”

“heyyy i can’t help that. but at least you called me a queen. i love you too mi. and i’m gonna wear that light green tie front blouse with my medium washed levi’s curvy styled flared jeans and my green retro new balances that you bought me a few months ago to match yours” Y/N said as she propped her chin up on his chest. he leaned down to kiss her lips softly a few times, before pulling away. “i love that top on you. okay go to sleep now” milo mumbled against her lips as his free hand that hadn’t been against her side, moved to grip her thigh, moving it up to rest against his lower stomach.

-

“okay mi, we’re almost there. take the next exit and then you’ll drive down this road for like two minutes and you’ll see the entrance to the ranch”

“okay, but the tesla is doing the driving” milo chuckled as his right hand gripped Y/Ns left thigh as the rental drove itself to their destination.

“quit being such a smartass” Y/N giggled as she glared to her left to look at her lover.

“okay but you love it. you can’t tell me you don’t” milo smirked his signature smirk back at his girl. Y/N just sighed and smiled, shaking her head in defeat.

just as they were pulling into the location, Y/N family were becoming more and more impatient as they waited to meet her boyfriend.

“mom, when is Y/N gonna be here?” mikeala, Y/N big sister asked their mother.

“i told your sister it starts at 2 o’clock. she said she’d be here at 2:30. it’s 2:25. so any minute. you know how she is when she’s getting ready. just like your guys’ grandfather, takes her sweet time”

“so, what do you think her boyfriends like?” james, Y/N older brother asked their mom.

“i’m not sure. i hope he’s nice and good to her. especially if she’s staying with him. but, i won’t lie to you, i don’t know much about him at all. she wouldn’t say much when i asked. wouldn’t even give me a last name” Y/N mother, Y/M/N spoke with an ounce of concern.

“i bet he’s just like most men, horrible” mikeala mumbled out.

“hey, we’re not all bad” will, Y/N younger brother blurted out, even though he was typically quiet.

“will, you know how your sister is gonna be, don’t even bother” Y/N father, Y/F/N spoke as he walked up to the rest of the family.

“oh wait, i think that’s them maybe?” Y/M/N spoke, as she saw a glimpse of Y/N through the tesla window.

“is that-“ james began to speak before will continued his thought. “a tesla? yes, it is” will finished his thought.

“go fucking figure. he’s probably a nepotism baby if she met him in New York City. that’s all i’m saying” mikeala grumbled out, as the rest of the family waited for Y/N to make her way up through the entrance of the venue to where they all were.

“mikeala, be nice. and you three, need to give your sister some room. she hasn’t been back in almost a year. let your father and i talk to her first, then you three can have at it” their mother said to Y/N three siblings as her and milo began to make their way to the entrance.

“babe, wait. what if they don’t like me? then what?” milo spoke out in concern as he gently grabbed Y/N wrist, pulling her back behind a vehicle before they could even enter the event venue.

“mi, for starters they’ll love you. and if they don’t i really don’t give a fuck. got it? i love you regardless” Y/N smiled up at her tall boyfriend. she then stood on her tippie toes, grabbing his neck gently, to pull his tall figure down to her short one for a passionate kiss. he smiled into the kiss as his hands found her hips in the midst, giving them a gentle squeeze. “i love you always” he mumbled against Y/N lips, proceeding to kiss her a few more times before pulling away.

“better?” she questioned him, as he proceeded to nod in confirmation as she dragged his tall, lanky body to the entrance, as they both giggled with smiles as they made their way to Y/N parents. right before doing so, Y/N stopped abruptly, pushing milo back and around a corner, turning to milo blushing. “hold on, you got some of my lip gloss on your lips. the last thing i need is them making comments”

“oh my gosh. will you wipe it off for me please?” milo asked as his cheeks began to become flushed. he let out one of his hoarse giggles in the process.

“lean down baby” she giggled as she met him halfway, by standing on her tippie toes, milo holding her hips to balance her like he always did. Y/N brought her thumb up to his lips and wiped them off until she felt satisfied, all while milo kept trying to not smile or laugh, which would interfere with Y/N wiping them off.

“okay there you go. all good. i would kiss you again but then we would be back at square one” Y/N blushed up to milo.

“accurate statement so i’m gonna give you a kiss here instead” he chuckled as he leant down and planted a singular kiss on the base of her jaw.

“okay, come on lover boy” Y/N smiled in awe as she dragged milo back to the way to where her parents were, approaching them with milo’s large hand in her small dainty one.

“mom! dad!” Y/N cheered as she let go of milo’s hand for a few minutes to give them both big hugs.

“Y/N hunny. you have to come out and visit more often!” Y/N mother spoke as she engulfed her youngest daughter into a warm hug. she pulled away and continued, “and you must be the mystery boyfriend?” she questioned to milo, who stood, towering over Y/N from behind. and everyone else from the looks of it.

“milo! milo manheim. mrs. Y/L/N it’s so nice to finally meet you.” he smiled widely to Y/N mother as she brought him into a hug.

“mom, you remember ghost whisperer?” Y/N smirked to her mother.

“of course i do. what an iconic show that was all those years ago”

“well his mom is camryn manheim. she plays delia in the show” Y/N began to smirk widely as milo gently laid his large hand against the small of her back, blushing as she proudly showed him off.

“no way! how’d you two meet then? and milo call me Y/M/N. i insist” Y/N mother spoke once more to milo as he smiled in return.

“i was working as a side hustle at that theatre as a bartender slash concession stand worker and he came through my line it just happened. we bonded over something and became friends. he’s a very friendly guy.” Y/N giggled as she wrapped her arms around his left forearm.

“dad, you’ve stayed so quiet. milo, meet my dad. dad, meet milo” Y/N smiled as two of her favorite men finally met. milo took a step forward and firmly shook Y/N fathers hand.

“nice to meet you sir” milo spoke kindly.

“you too. you can just call me Y/D/N like everyone else” Y/D/N spoke back to milo. “so milo, what do you do?” he continued.

milo blushed and chuckled before he continued to speak, Y/N right next to him for support. “well sir, i’m an actor. growing up i was always on set with my mom and i just gradually fell in love with the art of it all and got recruited for a movie at sixteen when i was doing theatre. it’s pretty fun”

“that’s lovely. i bet your mom is very proud” Y/M/N spoke up sweetly.

“that’d be an understatement mom. she is always telling mi how proud she is any second she gets. she’s the sweetest” Y/N smiled as she looked up at milo.

“well, it’s nice meeting you milo. now Y/N, your siblings are dying to meet him. wouldn’t stop talking since they found out last week you were bringing him” Y/D/N spoke to his youngest daughter.

“oh my” she sighed with a light chuckle. “mi, you ready?” she continued as she looked up at milo.

“as i’ll ever be love” he gently squeezed her small hands with his large ones.

Y/N began to tug gently at milo’s large hand once more as she navigated her way into the pavilion where her three siblings were impatiently waiting. she’d noticed mikeala and james were arguing over who got to talk to her first as she chuckled.

“yo, would you two stop?” Y/N laughed as she stopped once she approached them, milo standing right behind her with his hand instinctively laid at her side.

“dibs!” mikeala yelled as she walked over before james could, while will just stood quietly waiting for his turn.

“Y/N you bitch! how are you? how’s life been? what’s New York City like? and who is this? did you finally sleep with a guy?” mikeala, Y/N big sister went on.

“woah woah woah mikeala slow down. i’m good. life has been so lovely in the city. i want you to meet my boyfriend milo” Y/N began answering her big sisters questions, ignoring the one she had already warned milo about. she soon turned, grabbing milo hand instinctively, looking up at him lovingly, “mi, i want you to meet my big sister, mikeala”

“hey, nice to meet you mikeala. heard a lot about you. names milo manheim. wow baby, i feel like im in an interview” milo waved to Y/N sister and whispered the last part to Y/N.

“wait as in the great, amazing actress camryn manheim? she’s such a legend to women all around. also i hope they were good things spoken about me from Y/N” mikeala spoke as she unknowingly mentioned her sisters boyfriends mother.

“yeah, like her. but honestly, i just call her mom” milo nonchalantly spoke without even thinking about a single thing.

“i’m sorry, what?”

“i’m camryn’s son?” milo spoke with question.

“Y/N, you mean you’ve been keeping this from me? for like how long?” mikeala freaked out.

“i’ve known him for about 13 months, but we’ve been dating for 10? does that sound about right?” Y/N answered her sisters question as a new question arose, turning to look up at milo.

“yeah, because you moved in a month after we became friends. we met in august, so that means it was in september when you moved in and then we started dating three months later in december and it’s now september. it’s all too confusing” milo explained to his small girlfriend.

“you didn’t answer my other question Y/N. tell me all the deets. when did you finally sleep with a guy?” mikeala leaned into her little sisters ear, attempting to whisper, but failed as milo heard. milo giggled when he heard mikeala as she kept pushing her little sister to fess up, but she wasn’t going to budge.

“mikeala, i told you already, i am waiting. i’m not giving that up easily” Y/N spoke with a slight chuckle as she leaned back into milo’s chest. milo just draped his long arms over the front of Y/N body, as Y/N held onto his forearms, all while he held her up with his tall figure.

milo smirked as he opened his mouth, “i’m a good jewish boy”

once mikeala turned around, milo leaned down to Y/N ear and whispered gently, “um that’s… a lie on your part. what i said was the truth”

“she doesn’t have to know” Y/N giggled in a whisper, just as mikeala was turning back around to face them. and in that moment milo had placed a kiss to Y/N cheek softly.

“okay on to the big bro, although you’re taller than him mi” Y/N chuckled once again at her own joke.

Y/N stood back up from leaning against milo’s chest, and walked her way over to her big brother, as she continued to drag milo through it all. milo simply obliged, even though he was so nervous through it all. so far, he felt like her family liked him a little bit, but he wasn’t done meeting them all yet.

“james! i missed you!” Y/N freaked out when she saw her big brother. she let go of milo’s hand and jumped into james’ arms, as her big brother gave her a warm hug. milo, who was standing just behind her smiled wide. he knew she’d missed her family a lot. so it made him over the moon happy, to see her having a blast seeing her whole family again after so long.

“how are you sis? who’s this? i heard you got a boyfriend?!” james started to press his youngest sister for answers to his questions, all while glaring up at milo. sure james was tall, but milo was still taller than him. milo was pretty used to that by now; having a height advantage.

just as Y/N pulled away from her big brother, milo slyly placed his left hand against her lower back all while putting his right hand out to shake james’. grudgingly, james shook milo’s hand, as Y/N stared her big brother down. he was always protective over her. she’d always been so overly trusting and naive. he was constantly worried she was gonna get her heart broken all over again. boys always did that to her. they’d make her feel comfortable, then rip her heart out like it was a sport. she would give them her all and they’d give nothing in return.

“nice to meet you james. i’m milo, but uh i think you have probably already been told that” milo sighed as he scratched the back of his neck.

“so i’ve heard” james let out somewhat aggressively. Y/N glared up at her big brother the moment he did that.

“james knock it off. seriously. i know what you’re thinking” she began as she stopped to look at milo for a second. “baby, give me a minute with my asshole of an older brother. okay?” she spoke softly up at milo. milo smiled weakly, as he grew increasingly more anxious by the second. before he could even get a word of confirmation out, Y/N had placed a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips, making me smile shyly, knowing james was watching.

“james… don't be a dick. i know that you’re just trying to look out her me. i get it. i get that i've been hurt a lot in the past by so many guys. but when i tell you, mi isn’t like them i mean it” she began to lecture her over protective brother. “when i tell you this man pretty much saved me from going homeless in new york city all while i was having a damn mental breakdown i mean it. he has a heart of gold james. so quit treating him like he broke my damn heart when he never did” Y/N kept on to her brother as she continuously jabbed her index finger into his chest with each sentence. “now how about you go say hi properly to my boyfriend”

james walked back over to where milo was nervously waiting for Y/N to get done speaking to her older brother. as soon as she was in arms reach, he gently grabbed her hand out of anxiety. “mi, you good?” she gently asked him as she looked up at him through her long lashes. he in return smiled widely to her with a nod.

“okay, i’m sorry i was just being a dick. can’t help but be overly protective over my baby sister. she just means a lot to me and i worry she will get her heart broken once again. but she told me how you helped her. thank you for that” james smiled sincerely to milo.

looking down at Y/N who had her body leaning into his side, milo spoke softly to his girl, “you told him? i thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”

“he was being a dick to you and so i knew the only way to get through to him was to tell him about how you let me move in when i couldn’t pay my rent” she shyly smiled, slightly embarrassed to admit her own struggles just a mere twelve months ago.

“well, hey, i don’t know why you’re still so embarrassed by it. lou loves you. you’re his mom now” he spoke as he wrapped his arms around her short figure, pulling her closer to him. “speaking of which i miss him” milo continued as he pouted at the mere thought of not having his dog with him.

“i’m sorry, but what? you have a kid?” james slowly began to freak out internally.

“oh woah, no. well, yes, but no. not a human kid. but a- i- i’m a dog dad” milo began to stutter and explain who lou was to her brother.

“a dog dad?”

“uh yeah. lou is the best son ever. he doesn’t back talk me and he loves me unconditionally. what more could you ask for in a son?” milo began as Y/N giggled into his chest when she leaned into it.

“whatever you say man. damn, you sound just like our father when talking about bax” james laughed, as he patted milo’s shoulder before walking away.

“oh my gosh. that was awful” milo began as Y/N pulled away, dragging milo over to the last person he had to meet from her family, will, her genius little brother.

she let go of milo, and ran to will, forcing him to give her a hug against his own will. if it were up to him, there would be no such thing as hugs. he hated them with a passion. “william! how’s school? you still have all A’s right? what’d you get on your geography test? oh also meet milo”

“hi, milo, nice to meet you” will began to shake milo’s hand only after shyly conversing with his sisters boyfriend. will began to speak again, “i got a 98% by the way. and i still have straight A’s. i must graduate college with a 4.0 or i’m gonna lose my mind. i’ve only ever gotten one B in my life in high school and remember that knocked me down four spots on the class rankings”

“geography huh? is that your minor? right? i think that’s what your sister told me” milo questioned will about his college degree choice.

“it’s my minor. well one of them. i have another in spanish. and im majoring in environmental engineering”

“damn bro you’re a genius. sorry, Y/N told me you don’t like it when people say that. and if you ever need any help studying geography, i gotchu. you can either call your sister or she can send you my number and i can help you”

“milo’s really, really good at pointing any and every country in the globe out and correctly naming it. i wish i was joking will, but im not. now in the spanish he only knows a smidge and then nothing about science” Y/N laughed as she spoke to her baby brother.

“oh wow. thank you. i’ll be sure to take you up on that offer eventually. im gonna go get some of that barbecue while they’re still serving it” will smiled politely to Y/N and milo, before walking off.

looking up at milo, Y/N began to speak to him, “william is just super shy. i can already tell he likes you a lot. i can sense with my baby brother that you made him feel comfortable. thank you for that”

“just being myself. my charming, charismatic, somewhat flirtatious self that i’m really trying not to be. i’m so sorry for that part. last thing i need is your family disliking me for being a natural flirt”milo laughed to Y/N.

“hey, don’t apologize for being you. those are all the reasons why i love you and many more” Y/N smiled up at him as she scratched the back of his neck. “oh really? but wait, how much do you love me?” milo smirked his charming smile down to his girlfriend. he continued, “enough to kiss me while you’re family is eyeing us down?”

“you know how much i hate pda, but you also know how much i love you” Y/N smiled as milo’s large hands gripped her waist, pulling her into his tall body, pressing her lightly against his figure, helping balance her as she stood on her tippy toes. she’d moved her small hands from scratching the back of his neck to cup his scruff covered cheeks. milo met her half way, as he leant down to meet her lips mumbling into the kiss while smiling, “mmhm that i do”

pulling away, Y/N spoke, “so do you wanna play the annual bingo they host at these? it’s kinda like a family competition on who gets the most wins within the family”

“oh no, how competitive is your family? because i know how you get when we’re playing catan with our friends” milo chuckled as he still held her hips in his hands as he looked down at her with only pure love within.

“on a scale of 1-10, i’d say about an 8.4. but i think will and my dad are the worst. and im pretty sure you’re the one who’s competitive when it comes to catan” Y/N spoke as she grabbed milo’s hand and dragged him to the huge tent where the bingo game was being played.

-

“there’s no way you just got your third bingo. Y/N he’s cheating!” mikeala whined to her little sister about milo. milo had just won his third bingo in the last fifty minutes of playing the game. only three other people had won bingos and it was starting to irritate Y/N family with how good of luck milo had had for the game of bingo.

leaning over to Y/N ear, milo whispered, “i thought you said only will and your dad were the hardcore competitive ones? care to tell me why you left out your sisters name baby?”

milo pulled away from Y/N ear, gripping her lower thigh and began to rub it, as she had her legs laying across his lap as they played the game of bingo. she always had to be touching milo in any way anywhere they went. even if it was just in the comfort of their home. they were inseparable. or maybe it was milo who had to be touching her. either way, the two of them both loved each others touch. it always brought comfort to one another. Y/N had always worried about pda in front of her family, but for some reason she realized when it came to milo, all of that anxiety went out the window. she felt at peace when he did it, rather than the anxiety she’d always felt with her ex lovers.

“okay, so maybe i forgot to mention she’s quite competitive as well. she did play volleyball, that’s probably where she picked it up” Y/N smiled as she began to twiddle with the fingers from milo’s hand that had been rubbing her thigh.

“wowww, you don’t say. i didn’t notice that you forgot to mention it” milo teased as the two exchanged smiles. mikeala just looked across the table at her lovesick sister, making her want to vomit. she’d been waiting her whole life to see her sister in love, but now she was already sick of it, just like most siblings would be.

“i’m gonna go get us some drinks, what do you want? corona?” Y/N asked as she began to stand, milo grabbing his wallet for Y/N to take, already knowing she didn’t have cash for the tip. she’d never carried cash. she knew that and so did he.

“yeah that works for me. here, just take my wallet. cash is in it for the tips. you and i both know you don’t carry cash” he smirked up at her followed with a wink.

“ugh, fine. also behave. please don’t say anything stupid. i’ll be right back. if i’m not back in 5, just come looking for me? means i probably ran into someone i know” Y/N giggled as she ruffled milo’s hair, giving him a quick scratch to the top of his shaggy head of curls. “deal.” and with that Y/N walked off to get them drinks, leaving him all alone with her whole family.

“could you two be more disgusting? i swear, my boyfriend and i weren’t even this bad. and even when we showed any ounce of affection you know what Y/N would do?” mikeala began with slight attitude, making milo slightly anxious.

“my guess, she probably pretended to vomit, and say how gross pda is and how much she dislikes it and how she would never be like that” milo let out as he leaned back into his seat with his long legs spread.

“wro- wait. how do you know that?” mikeala laughed with shock.

“yeah, how’d you know that fact?” will asked curiously, as Y/N parents, and all three siblings stared his way, waiting for an answer.

“i- uh- well, i, we were friends before we started dating. so anytime we went out, with our friends, and saw couples being couples she’d rant about how gross it was. or when we’d watch some stupid reality tv show before we’d go to bed, and she’d go on about why she hated it so much and how she’d never be like them” milo stuttered, not expecting such a question from her family.

“then why does she do it with you? it’s just weird”james questioned. Y/M/N followed up, “it is, only because she’s never been like this with anyone else”

“hmh” milo questioned to himself as her family continued to speak.

“wait how did you and Y/N meet again milo?” Y/D/N quirked an eyebrow to milo as he interrogated his youngest daughter’s new boyfriend.

“uh so she was working at the concessions at one of the disney owned broadway theaters in time square area. she’d complimented my shirt, weird enough, and i- i- uh made a flirty comment. not gonna lie here, it comes naturally with the manheims” milo nervously chuckled as he lifted his hands up in defense. he soon continued his story, “and then she fired back with some witty, sassy comeback, teasing me about my previous sentence. we had a short conversation after that, and that’s when i found out she was an aspiring photographer, and was working there at the theater as a side hustle. she just, i don’t know, felt so easy to talk to. i felt a connection within that first interaction. knew i couldn’t leave that night without leaving my number for her” milo looked down at his hands that lay in his lap, nervously picking at the beds of his thumbs as he waited for Y/N to return.

“hmh, sounds just like my daughter with the witty, sassy comeback. pretty sure she learned it from me. also, where the hell is she?” Y/D/N laughed gently as he sat back in his chair.

“i’ve heard that one for sure. and i’m not sure, it’s definitely been over 5 minutes, which means i’m due to go find her. her wish is my command always. if you’ll excuse me” milo politely commented as he stood up from the chair to go find his girl.

milo began walking from under the large tent to the pavilion just across the way, where the bar was located, but didn’t see Y/N in sight. he then continued to the larger barn looking building, where all the food had been being served on the inside. he continued walking on the outside of the building until he reached the concessions, but still had no sign of her.

worriedly, he pulled out his phone and started typing away a text message to her.

Mi<3: baby, where are you? you’ve been gone for 10 minutes. i can’t find you anywhere, getting a bit worried.

as soon as he sent the message he heard her phone go off from behind the concessions. groaning, as he threw his head back, he unlatched the gate that was meant to keep guests out, he began his walk to behind the concessions. he’d only groaned because he knew he was breaking the rules and he hated doing that. but he’d do absolutely anything for Y/N. milo stopped as soon as he heard a deep male voice.

“glad you got my text Y/N! how’ve you been?” the tall, tan guy asked milo’s girlfriend, as the two hugged. the guy for sure towered over Y/N but definitely not to the extent that milo did. the young guy continued as the two pulled out of the hug, “as soon as charlie texted me telling me he saw you with your family, i knew i had to shoot you a text to meet up here”

milo knew he shouldn’t have been ease dropping, but he just couldn’t help himself. he needed to know what was going on.

“i’ve been great, real great. but you would’ve known that if you hadn’t blocked me on instagram after rejecting me, after i confessed my feelings to you when you’d been leading me on for that past year. but whatever that was over two years ago” Y/N sassily spoke her witty comeback. it took everything in milo to not laugh at her bluntness to what seemed to be an ex lover of hers.

“about that, i’m so sorry. i- i just got so nervous when you said you liked me, that i didn’t know what to do, especially because you were twenty-one and i was nineteen. i thought maybe we could try something again?” Y/N ex lover began to speak what he’d wanted to say.

milo, who’d been standing around the corner, couldn’t take another second of this. he wouldn’t openly admit it, but he was insanely jealous of the whole situation… and maybe slightly pissed. not at Y/N, but at the guy, thinking he could break her heart just a couple years before, and still have the audacity to try and get her back. not on his watch.

and on queue, milo walked straight in to Y/N rescue, wrapping his arm around one of her shoulders and around her chest diagonally from behind. looking down at her, as she looked up to her savior, in more ways than one, smiling widely to him with only love in both of their eyes.

“hey, sorry, i know i wasn’t supposed to walk through that gate baby, but like i was getting worried, same with your family, and heard your soft voice from behind the concessions.

“it’s okay mi, it literally isn’t that big of a deal. robert, the owner wouldn’t really care much anyways” Y/N raised her hand, to gently scratch milo’s scruff covered cheek.

“oh, sorry, names milo. nice to meet you” milo smiled widely to the young man who stood across from him and Y/N, as he put his right hand out to shake the guys.

“xavier, don’t worry about it. so are you like…?” xavier, Y/N ex lover began after he willingly shook milo’s hand.

“milo’s my boyfriend. milo, this is my old coworker, xavier. also, where’s your dad at? i can’t leave here today without seeing him. i adore your dad so much” Y/N chuckled, remembering how his dad had always treated her like family.

“y-yeah, he’d love to see you. he asks about you every now and then. and boyfriend? huh.” xavier shrugged with a frown.

“yeah, i met milo a little over a year ago living in new york city. and i’ll be sure to find your dad before we leave. my parents are probably freaking out right about now since ive been gone so long and now milo has as well. it was good seeing you” Y/N smiled to xavier and sent him a little wave.

“you too. good meeting you milo”

“you too bro” milo smiled weakly as him and Y/N began to walk away, and back through the gate, all the way over to where her family was still playing bingo.

however the rest of the time the two were there, milo became more silent as the clock ticked. still, he held her legs in his lap, rubbing her thigh. for some odd reason he just felt so jealous knowing that her ex fling, really tried to get back with her. he didn’t know why he felt jealous though. really, he had nothing to be jealous about. he knew that. but yet he still couldn’t help the feeling. and it was driving him insane.

“milo” james called his name again as Y/N patted his thigh.

“oh, sorry. what was that?” milo asked as his cheeks began to turn red from embarrassment.

“i asked how you liked today. hopefully we werent too intrusive and annoying” james laughed at his little sisters boyfriend.

“oh, i really enjoyed meeting you all. it’s so nice to finally meet the people who made Y/N who she is and who she’s always talking about. and trust me, none of you were annoying” milo gave a tight lipped smile. somehow when he smiled it always looked upside down. but that was just another thing Y/N loved about her man.

“wait, you talk about us?” will exclaimed from across the table to his big sister.

“uh yeah? is that a shock to you? you have no idea how much i’ve missed you guys. i was going actually insane before i met milo.”

“she was always constantly showing me photos and videos of you all. she won’t admit it but she was homesick” milo smirked, informing Y/N family of how she was feeling.

shoving his broad shoulder, Y/N began to whine at milo, “stop it mi, i’ll never hear the end of this from them. like ever”

milo chuckled, “fine fine, she didn’t miss home at all. lou keeps her busy”

“who is lou?” Y/D/N asked milo in a stern voice with an eyebrow raised.

“oh shit, i mean dang, you never told them about lou?” milo turned to look down at Y/N.

“i guess not?”

“oh my. lou is my dog. Y/N is always babying him and he keeps her occupied when she’s home from work”

“um no, you baby the hell out of that dog” Y/N fired back at her boyfriend.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about” milo shrugged his shoulders, knowing she was right in this conversation.

“uh okay mr. ‘i have to buy him a louis vuitton collar and leash because it matches his name’. and not only that but you tuck him in every night.”

“yeah well you baby him, and you bought a purse he’d fit in for when we go grocery shopping”

“he has a designer collar and leash?” will raised his voice slightly at the shock.

“sounds like you both spoil him. Y/N, milo sounds like your dad with how he treats louie” Y/M/N chuckled as she shoved her husbands shoulder while laughing lightly.

once it was the end of the picnic celebration, Y/N and milo made their way to the tesla rental and buckled up. sitting in silence as milo put in the directions to their fancy hotel, Y/N sat nervously bouncing her leg. she could tell something had been bothering milo, but wasn’t exactly sure as to what it was.

as she continued to bounce her leg and chew on her lip, she felt milo’s gentle touch on her thigh, stopping her from bouncing her leg any further.

“what’s wrong?” milo asked gently, as his thumb rubbed against her leg while his eyes lay on the road.

“just wondering what’s wrong with you” she spoke softly, causing milo to dryly chuckle.

“nothing. i’m fine. just tired, a bit overwhelmed by today” he breathed out. she knew he was lying, though she didn’t want to press him anymore about the topic while he was driving.

as soon as they got back to their hotel, milo laid the rental car keys on the counter of the small kitchen that came with their suite. trudging over to his suitcase to shrug his birkenstocks off, he spoke softly, “i’m going to go shower”

Y/N just sat there on the bed, in deep thought as to what the root of why he was acting weird. moving her hand up to her eye, she wiped a lone tear she hadn’t even realized had fallen from her tear duct.

screw it. she wasn’t gonna just sit out here and wait for him to finish, while she just kept overthinking. hurriedly, she walked into the bathroom quietly, taking off her clothes so she could join him in the shower and force him to tell her what was on his mind. they never fought. she didn’t like this. even if it wasn’t technically fighting.

quietly she walked into the walk-in shower, closing the glass shower door behind her, shocked he didn’t hear her. either that or he was ignoring her, which was her biggest fear.

“mi” Y/N began as she wrapped her arms around his torso from behind continuing again, “what’s wrong? what did i do?”

milo jumped slightly, indicating he hadn’t heard her enter, telling her he’d been in deep thought the whole time he’d been in there. he turned around to look down at her. “you didn’t do anything. i’m just kinda mad? which is so fucking weird for me to say, as i’m a loving guy. i don’t like this feeling”

“mad? what? why? and it’s okay to feel emotions milo, even if it’s a little negative” Y/N cupped his cheek, as his back blocked the water from hitting her.

“because xavier was and still is an ass. to think that he thought he could win you back after breaking your heart not once, but twice, just pisses me off to no extent. i mean honestly, who does he think he is to treat not just any woman, but a woman who is so down to earth, selfless, caring and kind like that? and i may have been a bit jealous” milo let out with slight aggression, not to Y/N, but to the situation he’d watched unfold earlier in the day. he’d of course whispered the last part though, slightly ashamed to the fact he’d let some lousy guy get to him like that. Y/N knew he meant no harm to her with the raise of his voice, which wasn’t too loud thanks to the water of the shower head drowning out part of the volume level he’d been speaking in.

“for starters my love, thank you for your kind words. i’ll be sure to tell your mother you were nice to me” Y/N smiled up at milo, joking to him since his mother was always joking with him to be nice to her, even though he always was. milo responded in a tight lipped smile with a silent chuckle as his hands gripped her waist a little tight, but not enough to make her uncomfortable. she soon continued, “xavier is a dumbass and will always be a dumbass who is very full of himself”

“accurate statement. and i don’t even know the guy. he had such a punchable face Y/N. i dont even know what you saw in him” milo groaned as he threw his head back. Y/N in return just wrapped her arms from around his torso to his neck.

sighing, Y/N looked up nervously to milos brown orbs, “to be honest, i’m not quite sure myself. I really think i just liked the attention and the feeling of being wanted and longed after. It was never something i was, well, am used to”

“well, i hope you know i will always want you. You will always be longed for by me. so please, babe, get used to it” milo chuckled, as he moved a hand to cup her cheek as he looked down into her eyes.

“also, what’s this about jealousy?” she quirked an eyebrow up to milo, and in return throwing his head back groaning.

“you heard that part?”

Y/N nodded her head in return to his question as he groaned once more. “i just really didn’t like another guy hitting on you. especially knowing you two have a past. just makes me mad. i don’t even know why”

“well, lucky you, i don’t want him and never will. you know i once met a guy, who taught me my self worth was much more than i’d even imagined as well as what i deserve in a man? he fixed my broken heart in more ways than one after xavier broke it into millions of pieces. he taught me what it’s like to actually be loved unconditionally. and i wouldn’t trade him for the world. you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of love. if anything, everyone should be jealous of you and how kind hearted and loving you are. i love you and i wouldn’t trade what we have for the world. I am so lucky to have you. i hope you know that. also, remember, it’s okay to feel these emotions babe” Y/N cupped milo’s right cheek as both of them let tears slip from their eyes.

“god, how the fuck did i get so lucky? i love you always” milo sighed as he leaned down to kiss Y/N, as the water ran down the two of their bodies. Nothing in their world mattered in this moment but them.

taglist: @girlkissersco @whoopsyeahokay @libertyinnit @moonyseyelash @bat-h-tic @emsch15 @softpretzel49 @multifanxtvshows @manheimsmuse @keziahcore

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 13: First Impressions

Woo! DRDT! It is time! Time for despair! Let’s go! My excitement has not faded in the slightest from last week; if anything, it’s stronger than before. Here are my first impressions of this week’s episode!!!

Spoilers for CH2 EP13

CW Suicide, violent murder, mafia mention, suicide, hanging, self-harm.

It’s starting! Levi’s got some explaining to do. Will someone (say, Eden) have an interesting reaction?

Alright, J’s not the one I expected to have first reaction, but cool.

“You…” Is Ace okay? 

“Ah. I didn’t expect that.” Rose’s legendary reaction.

YOU CANNOT “THAT’S WACK” THIS SITUATION WHIT

Oh, so people know, but the court struck it. Interesting.

Ah, there’s the Ace reaction. Also, “no way Hope’s Peak scouted a murderer” but you have a poisoner on another secret and an art forger, at least. Not the same level maybe, but still. 

“Don’t make the mistake of switching cause and effect.” Of course Hope’s Peak is responsible, that was my first gut instinct. God, it’s so shady in this universe.

Woo, Levi backstory! Three “old enemies?”

… Bro??? I don’t think any of us actually expected more than one murder, but I might be wrong on that. Self-defense, then two first degrees, huh?

“Were you in the mafia or something?” Thanks J.

“I don’t think I need to elaborate” No, you do. You really should elaborate. Please? For me?

“Who did you even kill?” And… Levi!Accomplice is looking rougher by the second. Then again, maybe she didn’t know.

Levi tracked two of them down, but doesn’t know who they were? How?

“That car I blew up once?” HUH???

“That’s… kind of a lot to admit all of the sudden.” True, Rose. I’m trying to see what he’s cooking, but I can’t tell.

How do you forget this? Jeez.

“How could you forget?” You know, Arturo, I was kinda irrationally worried Charles was about to throw in his secret phrase, but it’s cool that you avoided that. Thanks.

[For the uninformed; it’s theorized the characters will, at some point in the series, say the quotes hidden in the source code of their dedicated pages out loud, since Min and Arei both said theirs, and Xander’s could be in a flashback. That means that if a character says their secret quotes, their chances of dying go up drastically.]

“If you don’t care about murder, you could be the murderer.” (Paraphrased) Yes thanks Veronika not the point. 

“Almost as if you don’t care…” Great. I didn’t know where Levi was going with this, now I don’t know where Veronika is going with her schtick.

I’m surprised Ace is taking it relatively well [as in, not outwardly terrified]. I guess near death does that to someone.

Woo! Time frame! Junior high school! 

Interesting, so he didn’t start fashion because of the murder. That’s kinda what I was thinking, but I was wrong.

We’re getting our first crumbs of Hope’s Peak being ultra shady in main series! After Rose’s backstory ig. Unfortunately the “pretentious revolutionaries” aren’t here to “hand out tickets of lead” ← LGI brainrot

“It could also refer to the time I murdered my father.”

… 

???????????????????????????

You didn’t lead with that?! Also, what?! I laughed out loud at the fucking absurdity of the statement, but what?!

“It’s a bit of a bother.” The bothersome part is that they’re phrased vaguely and not that they reveal you’re a murderer, got it.

“Go back!” Thank you J.

What do you mean I think. Bro how many people have you killed? What in the name of Kirisaki Shidou [/ref]?

“Not even the police cared about a man like him.” ??? Also, wasn’t your dad a bad influence? You’ve mentioned him before, it didn’t sound that bad- Wait, is he lying? No way he’s lying. Hold on, let me watch more.

[In retrospect, I doubt he’s lying, but his story is certainly weird]

“I see no reason to remain hung up-” Then why are you bringing it up. I still can’t fucking tell what you’re trying to accomplish here.

Eden’s reaction is… neutral, I guess? Makes sense either way?

Eden!Culprit has always been hard to maintain during the trial, huh… Still took the tape though. And I guess it’s potentially interesting she’s getting this much dialogue about Levi’s thing. Teruko’s yet to speak this episode.

“I wonder if I should really tell the truth…” Bro what do you mean there’s more truth to tell?

Oh, hey, speaking of Teruko. And it seems she and I share a mind.

“I don’t care about people at all.” Ooooh, I like this. Some kind of condition?

I feel a little bit like Veronika, interested in hearing his experience with this. Feeling like Veronika is probably a bad thing.

“You’re still a stranger to me.” Levi’s quickly climbing the ranks of fave characters, btw. This is super interesting.

“But you’re a good person-” DO NOT “good person” right now, Eden! That’s a point to Levi!Accomplice, maybe? Maybe not? I don’t know what’s happening. And I still don’t get what Levi is trying to do here.

Double “good person?” Bro what is happening.

“I don’t personally care what happens to Ace.” Mood (that’s a joke I like Ace).

PFT- Ace’s reaction lol.

“But it is “good” to make sure someone else doesn’t die-” Goodbye Levi!Accomplice! I liked you, but I’m probably gonna go try to find other theories after this episode :p (This is a joke, btw; if I didn’t discount theories like Hu!Culprit when the new alibis came up, I’m not going to completely abandon Levi!Accomplice over this. But, just saying, there might be a few revisions to be made)

“Haha. You…” Ace breakdown! Breakdown! (I'm absolutely acting like Veronika now).

“I was right all along.” Yeah, Ace ‘can tell a hawk from a handsaw’ Markey, nice one. (Does anyone even know/remember why I’m referencing that line or is LGI too far in the past for that?)

New Ace sprite! Cool one too. Clutching his heart, Acevi shippers eating ig. 

“Good thing I didn’t fall for it. Not one bit.” Oh they’re eating GOOD good!

“There’s only one person in my whole life who I’ve ever been able to call my friend-” IS THAT A FUCKING TAYLOR REFERENCE?!?!?! Holy shit, I don’t know how many people are even gonna remember we have a canon name for that dude. I hope someone still has the screenshot of the deleted answer from the CH2 Part 1 Q&A. 

“I really hope you fucking die.” We are active in Trial 2 Part 2, huh? Between Arturo telling him to “shut his whore mouth” and this, Levi’s getting verbally jumped!

“You’re quite the interesting person, Levi” Please Veronika, give me the psychoanalysis.

Dude, that’s three “good person” drops all on Levi. Chat the importance of this phrase may have been slightly overexaggerated by me (then again, the list of “good person” people has yet to grow from last chapter).

“You act like a big pushover because-” This is the psychoanalysis I came to see!

I don’t know if I’d call it “intuitive understanding” but I guess Levi’s not fully wrong about Veronika.

Four “good person.” And that’s not counting Veronika’s “good people.”

Five. Also, this continues to be interesting. Why did Levi bring this up again?

“After looking at David, I thought being honest-” Okay that’s hilarious.

“Try looking in a mirror…” First David line of the episode, right? And it’s a nice one of course.

That’s six cases of “good person” in this chapter alone holy shit. At least it’s David, who still had counts.

“I apologize for this tangent” Then can you please explain why the tangent exists in the first place? Or is it really just because being honest is "good"?

[Spoilers. It really was because of that. What]

“I can’t believe there was a time I liked you.” Yeah Acevi is still eating good. I doubt the hostility is gonna drive the shippers away; that’s what they’re here for, right?

And of course Whit’s first line makes him look suspicious. Bro you have an alibi for the time of disappearance of fish and you didn’t take the tape from the gym, stop pretending to be the killer.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Thank you Hu, but let me jump to a conclusion. Is Levi not gonna explain why he revealed his secret beyond the honesty thing?

Okay J’s response is good too.

“No, [Arei] didn’t [talk to Levi about the secret]” Bro what the fuck are we even talking about anymore.

“I don’t have a defense” (Paraphrased) No but seriously what. I’m this close to ripping out my hair. What is he doing.

“We don’t have evidence [Levi is the murderer]” Thank you Teruko Tawaki for being one of three competent people in the building. This is affectionate, one of my favorite parts of the DRDT cast is that they all suck at class trials lol :p

Bro Whit is trying REALLY HARD to look like the murderer rn. I’m still not letting him convince me. Yet.

“I realized that motives alone are not concrete evidence.” Yayyyy! Progress!

“I feel a sneeze coming on…” Dude David and Teruko need to get into comedy, they’re fucking hilarious.

“One second please.” Hu I trusted you. Why. You’re revealing your secret, right?

“...I didn’t want you all to think less of me.” Aww, poor Hu. No one’s gonna think less of you, you’re doing awesome (I am assuming she has hopeless child btw).

“I wanted to believe the past never happened” Butterfly motif and “water as rebirth” symbolism go brrr. 

“I’ve always been a selfish person, haven’t I?” Hu please, you’re really nice, even if you go overboard at times.

“I will share my secret if you promise to immediately move on.” (Paraphrased) Good idea. It would probably be good to talk about it if she wants, but this is kinda not the time.

“I have Veronika’s secret, and she has mine.” Okay I did NOT expect her to reveal she had Veronika’s, but alright! That’s two more on the board, and two more most of us got right! At least the theorists are doing well on the secrets.

[Veronika agreeing to the pact] Bro what pact, how did you communicate that? Also, “I have such little interest in both of our secrets” is wild, but it makes sense given her personality. Recap foils go brr, I’ll sit down and think about this later.

“My own so-called secret isn’t even the worst thing I’ve done.” Uh…??? It’s just bombshell after bombshell, these episodes!

Oh, we are questioning the pact. I kinda thought they’d managed to do that in the trial, now I’m really curious. Please tell me we aren’t gonna have to ignore that question because of what Hu asked of them.

Shit.

“We’re not gonna talk about me?” Oh, Vero, I would love for them to talk about you, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

“Arei– Achoo!” WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED LIKE A MADPERSON HOLY SHIT

“Bless me! Also, excuse me! Wow, thank you for your support everyone!” WAIT IT GOT FUNNIER.

“I have another interruption–” Either it just got even funnier or he’s about to reveal Teruko’s secret and shit got serious, let’s see.

Oh, right. But, dude, I’m relatively sure the last two unclaimed secrets can’t be hers. Maybe the survivor’s guilt one, even though that felt like Xander’s? Are you absolutely certain you don’t have her secret?

“My family.” Figured she’d try that one. [She probably feels it's true to some extent].

Oh, now THAT’S a David sprite alright. Pretty sure that settles it, the most common theories for secrets during hiatus were all correct.

I’m guessing David’s still not gonna reveal it. We still need to see a Teruko teacher CG, and I don’t think we’re gonna have time for that if he brings it up.

“We did it!” Yeah he ain’t revealing shit. 

“Sir Light Pollution” is actually crazy. Do his eyes really emit light like a flashlight? That’d be really fucking funny actually.

Oh, it was actually funny because Whit is a boyfailure. Alright, joke understood. I smiled.

“I am truly impressed… by how bad that was.” And there I laughed!

“I’ve started to detect this trial isn’t about me.” Iconic of you, Sir Attention Whore /affectionate

Thank you J.

Eden bro can we please let Teruko speak. Also you are not helping the culprit allegations miss Tobisa.

“What happened between you and Arei?” Jesus, we really cannot get to the fucking murder, huh? Fair, though, I’m really curious about this too, though I feel we’re gonna skip past it without an answer or David’s just not gonna respond seriously.

“I know that she’s dead and that she’s never coming back.” We’re getting worryingly close to your secret quote wording here, Eden. You sure you wanna go this route?

What are we, on seven “good person”s now?

Oh shit are we actually getting an answer?

YES! YES! YES! LET’S GO! I wasn’t expecting this!

Eight. Though I think this one’s repeated, though I might be wrong.

Yeah, this is old dialogue.

Man, Arei’s and Eden’s VAs did amazing work this episode!

“That makes me feel really relieved.” Lie. She didn’t say that. That’s my gut reaction, anyways, I could be wrong.

“I was pissed at you for a bit.” Oh shit chat David’s not getting cut off. This might actually be true. What the fuck?

Oh, also. Nine. David again.

“There’s not even anything positive…” Okay this hurts a fucking ton. If David’s lying, I want him dead. If this is true, holy shit this is sad.

“A metamorphosis like that…” Jeez this is actually getting sad sad. Auch.

“I’ll never be a good person.” Ten, and the tenth hurts a LOT. I don’t think David’s lying, members of the jury. Holy shit this is sad. 

“It turns out that you might be a total piece of shit…” Holy shit I miss Arei already.

Eleven.

“Like Santa Claus…” Didn’t Charles bring up something like that talking with Teruko in the computer room? Interesting connection. I guess not “all that glitters,” yeah.

“It’s okay that I’ll never be a good person, because no one else can be either.” Okay, first; twelve. Second, ouch.

[I know my commentary's not exactly thrilling. Forgive me, I'm suffering]

“Even Eden.” And what does that mean?

[Eden with blood on her hands CG]

…

HUH????????????????????????????????????????

I can’t- Words- Not working. Hold on, I gotta see what the fuck is happening here.

[Pan to fork]

I’M EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE! WHAT THE FUCK?!

It has four prongs, which matches the Xander one. Did Eden take out Xander’s eye? How in the actual fuck? No chance, right? I’m just going insane?

“I’m sure even Eden has hurt someone” (Paraphrased). Brain is still not working. Sorry.

“Even someone like her must have made a mistake she couldn’t take back” WE ARE GETTING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO SECRET QUOTE WORDING!

We’re just moving on? That shit didn’t happen? I’m fucking sorry?

I can’t even- Does this imply fucking MM!Eden? I don’t think so, she doesn’t look like she wanted to- WAS it Xander she stabbed? Again, how? What? I’m so confused. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO US DEV! I NEED ANSWERS!!!

“Second ever friend…” Ouch ouch ouch-

Another “good people” btw.

[Arei CG] That’s the fucking- THAT LOOKS LIKE THE FUCKING GIRL FROM LGI?!?!?!

Like, obviously they look different, but that’s the same pose, with the hand and everything- WHAT?!

Is Arei/David a ship? It’ll probably be one after this. 

“Nothing-” You absolute piece of shit. Holy shit David, when I get my hands on you David…

“Nothing else happened between us, I promise.” Wow. Who would’ve thunk this is how I come to fucking despise a man so much while he simultaneously rises in my fave characters ranking, huh? Holy hell.

“One hundred percent promise-” I get more mad every line. That’s good character writing, folks. Jesus.

I can’t read Eden this episode. Still think she’s the culprit lol.

“Finally.” Yeah, Teruko. Same.

[By the way, the next section has a lot of me rambling about my own theories, so if you don't know them, here's a link to the latest, now likely outdated version]

“From that low of height…” I like where we’re going.

“I’m starting to realize how long it's taken to get here.” (Paraphrased) Yeah, Whit. Yeah.

“Some people had to wait one year and five months-” PFFFT- Also Whit’s reaction means he’s not fully fourth wall aware, which is cool.

NON-STOP DEBATE! LET’S DO IT! 

[Sees truth bullet] Yes! The jugs were used as weights! Tell me I’m right about this!

YEAH! I GOT IT RIGHT! Also Veronika’s “consent” animation is… uuh… very ‘Ronika if you catch my drift. I love it!

“Those jugs ended up breaking…” You know it! I wonder if maybe they didn’t have time to clean the fish? But they could have gotten water literally elsewhere, so they clearly did use them for alibi.

“The jugs alone aren’t enough…” (Paraphrased). Yeah, we gotta go higher. Like, the girders at the top…?

“... rafters on the ceiling.” Yeah!!! Wrong name but I also got this right!

“It must have been one long rope…” Or two, because you need the stopper.

“Oh, wait, you’re agreeing with me. Yes.” Funny, laughed.

“The rafters were way too high…” Ball of clothes, come on.

“...something like a pulley…” Yeah, Whit knows what I’m talking about! The fact he’s being helpful makes him less suspicious. Finally, he managed to open his mouth without incriminating himself of something!

“High location…” Are we actually doing stopper rope? My guess is that that’s when we’ll get teacher Teruko.

“In drop hanging…” Okay, first, love the monologue. Second, is there a reason you know so much about drop hanging? Did your mother…? I guess it’s not necessary. I also came to the same conclusions and I don’t have any history with the stuff. 

“We also know she didn’t hit the ground-” Does anyone have a counter of tasteless Whit jokes? Just checking.

“Aren’t I so smart…” And we’re back to kinda incriminating ourselves, because you're denying pulley method. Fantastic.

WOO! ANOTHER NON-STOP! Let me guess, “spinny thing” is the truth bullet?

“Tape on carousel.” Close enough. Although, hold on, are we actually gonna go “stopped with hands?” No chance, right?

Also am I stupid or does Arturo’s VA sound different in the debates?

Yeah btw Levi!Accomplice is dead and buried, I need to find other ways for Eden to have done this.

I like that Teruko still calls it a spinny thing :p

Wow, everyone’s correcting her, huh? I guess I’m the only one that appreciates her smh.

“...when I need to correct the killer’s grammar.” Funny comeback, but you know, the letter does actually have quite a few spelling errors.

Yay! Teacher Teruko! She looks so cute with glasses!

Also I cannot believe it. These Microsoft-Paint ass diagrams remind me of when I did them too lol.

Oh, shit, under the seesaw! That’s a good one, Teruko! I didn’t catch that. (Then again, I always thought the seesaw was in a different place, but oh well).

Is that dog ears Whit? My guy, you know Charles dislikes dogs, right? Then again, you do canonically have negative rizz, so :p

Oh, tying the rope! Not quite a stopper rope, but same concept. Yeah, would work. Good one Teruko!

“The carousel is made of smooth metal.” THAT’S WHAT THE TAPE WAS FOR! Clutch.

Oh shit, is the cliffhanger going to be the tape’s origin?

“I’ve seen this murder method before.” Okay, wait. One, no origin of tape. That’s big for Eden!Culprit: My current guess is that someone (ie Veronika) will want to discuss the Ace-Nico thing, which will lead to them discovering Eden took the tape. Two, what the fuck do you mean you’ve seen this before?!

“You have?” Looking kinda worried there, Eden…

“And so have you.” Okay am I forgetting something? Min’s execution wasn’t like this, what the hell…

“Me?” Eden, honey, the allegations…

“We’re going to talk about a different case…” Oh shit Teruko’s got the Ace method figured out? I would really love to hear that because I have no idea what the hell was happening with that one. Also, I called it! Didn’t expect it to be Teruko who brought us back to the Ace case, but still. 

“Explain yourself, Nico.” YEAH!!!! I’m actually really excited. I’m gonna look into revising my theory on that case before the next episode, see if I can figure it out, since I think the old methods I’ve discussed with others don’t quite line up with what Teru’s describing. 

What an episode!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General Thoughts:

Holy shit. Just. So much happened. It’s too much peak.

The Eden CG is the first thing on my mind; that’s crazy. Did she really take out Xander’s eye? I have zero idea what else I would be looking at. Certainly not MM!Eden, too obvious, but I don’t know what’s happening there. No fucking idea. I might make a more detailed post when I get my thoughts in order, but all I’m saying; the possibility the girl she kissed was Mai? That Mai told her about Teruko, and Eden attacked Xander in the pre-prologue killing game to protect Teruko? Hmm…

The secrets are huge, too. Nothing wild, given like 75% of the fandom had assumed these secrets anyways, but still nice to get them all. The Levi explanation was fascinating, but I don’t know what the fuck it has to do with the trial. Was it really a pointless aside? I don’t know…

The Arei scene was fucking insane even outside the Eden CG. Stabbed through the heart, haven’t felt that sad since Min’s death, and, yeah…

Not to mention, the fucking “Ideal Country Woman from LGI” looking ass frame. At least I finally got my answer; it was a wrist bend, not a glove. 

And David. David. Why are you like this. I genuinely can’t tell why he does anything anymore.

Finally, I love the Taylor mention, that’s insane. And Veronika has a darker secret? She really wants those MM allegations, huh? Jokes aside, I’m really curious about both those things. I kinda wonder if somehow the students will see the motive videos from Trial 1, since we’re hearing about Taylor and I’m hoping Alyssa later.

Just… Holy shit this episode was awesome. Cannot wait for next week.

First Impression Murder Theory Updates

It’s looking like Levi!Accomplice will end up being a nice AU and nothing more, although I’m not 100% ruling it out. That said, I’m still pretty confident in Eden!Culprit, especially with how we mentioned the tape on the spinny thing was easy to grip, but no one’s made the connection to the gym yet. 

The big thing to solve in the Arei case, then, is how Eden got the fish. There’s a few other accomplices she could have, but those are looking rough unless she somehow got Arei to do it. That said, I’m considering the possibility that she took the minnows ultra early, before Nico started feeding them. That would explain how they didn’t notice there were a few missing the night before; they just never counted the ones in the jugs in the first place. That has issues too, but I’ll see about it. 

That said, I’m pretty happy with myself! I got a lot of the major points of the pulley system right. The only thing is the “stopper rope vs tie a knot” thing, but the principle is similar enough. We’ll see about things like the ball of clothes to put the rope over the rafters. There’s still plenty of murder to discuss. 

As for the Ace case… It’ll need a full review later. If it’s supposed to be similar to Arei’s case, I really have no clue what the hell was happening there. Though I guess the ridiculous wire circuit I made might actually have some merit, given we're doing some kind of pulley?

... Maybe not :p

I have no further insight; I just need to look at it again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Watching this episode took me like two hours and a half while writing this… this almost 4k word post… so… yeah. Gods save me if there actually is an hour long episode left. See ya’!

[genericpuff]

This has been buggibg me for a while. What is the reason why Rachel dehumanizing nymphs?

Cause from what I'm seeing the nymphs getting the most screen time is Daphne, Minthe, Thetis, Psyche and a little bit of Leuce and Echo.

4 out of the 6 nymphs we see are very open in their sex appeal and flirty. Yet for some reason they get discriminated when Hera, Persophone, and Aphrodite do the same thing but get a pass because the are white coded rich people.

For my knowledge (but I could be wrong if so please correct me) nymphs are known to be seductive and sexy but they were well respected just like any other God. They were given given sacrifices to please them.

Is this just another case of Rachel being the so-called "folkorists" who has done the first Google link she see or could there just be how she interprets then but like the rest of her story misses the mark?

So there are a couple different and equally interesting theories on this.

Rachel has established it as canon that the nymphs are lower class. And there are a lot of stereotypes and prejudices against lower class women going into sex work, which we see in LO through characters like Minthe who work as car girls (notice how in the present story Thetis and Minthe are both personal assistants which is also a role that's commonly stereotyped as "the boss' sidepiece" as it's a role often occupied by women in service to men). Even Leuce isn't safe from this:

Normally I'd just say "good for her" but it's clear with how much Leuce has been turned into the delusional girl who "manifests" her fantasies that Rachel is once again conflating sexuality with more negatively-associated character traits for any woman who isn't Persephone (because when it's Persephone it's sexual liberation always, she's not a "sugar baby", she's a "workaholic" who "earned her position and wealth", but when it's Leuce or Minthe or Thetis they're "homewreckers") And yeah, this is a common disconnect that happens between lower class and upper class people, where lower class people (especially women) are often judged and outcast for doing certain things or behaving a certain way which rich upper class people take and adopt and turn into something "trendy" and "empowering".

But there's... another theory that may explain why so many nymphs in the story are being pigeonholed into the "homewrecking sugar babies" stereotype. And you're gonna hate me for this, because I'm sure the gut reaction to reading this from many is gonna be "goddamit not Lolita again!" buuuttt yeah we're gonna talk about Lolita again.

CONTENT WARNING: We're talking about Lolita again, which means discussion surrounding the sexualization of minors is ahead.

There's a certain term the main character of the book Humbert Humbert uses to describe girls who are specifically, and I quote:

"Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travellers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as 'nymphets'." - Lolita, Chapter 5, Page 18, paragraph 5

It's also very clear from the way Nabokov specifies the definition of nymphet from Humbert Humbert's perspective that the use of the word 'nymphet' is intentionally referencing the root word of Greek origin:

"...I would have the reader see 'nine' and 'fourteen' as the boundaries - the mirrory beaches and rosy rocks - of an enchanted island haunted by those nymphets of mine and surrounded by a vast, misty sea. Between those age limits, are all girl-children nymphets? Of course not. Otherwise we who are in the know, we lone voyagers, we nympholepts, would have long gone insane."

Though Humbert Humbert is obviously not being literal here, the visual metaphor is strongly relying on the etymology of the word 'nymph', but twisting the depiction of nymphs in such a way to support his own fantasies.

And while I'm definitely not trying to accuse Rachel of having the same mindset of Humbert Humbert (seriously, I want to make it clear that I don't think Rachel is a pedophile, just horribly misled at best), it's interesting to me how this specific definition of a nymphet matches with that of Rachel's old descriptions of her own art:

"You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable signs - the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and shame and tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate - the little deadly demon among the wholesome children; she stands unrecognized by them and unconscious herself of her fantastic power."

What's interesting is that I did dig up an old profile of Rachel's that actually acknowledged that what she's doing with her art shouldn't be conflated with, well... child porn.

"It's not THAT kind of lolita" and yet the writing feels like it's been smeared all over the wall with shit. There are so many scenes and artistic choices throughout LO that scream "it is that kind of lolita".

Though it is still a theory, and I don't resort to using Rachel's old art of "proof" of LO's shortcomings, I don't think it should necessarily be ignored that the nymphs in LO seem to be characterized very similarly to Humbert Humbert's description of 'nymphets' - devious and promiscuous, and thus easier to blame when predatory men pursue them, rather than holding those predatory men accountable. And we see this in Persephone too, but unlike the nymphs, Persephone is rich, upper class, and of a "superior pedigree". So she becomes the desirable form of a 'nymphet' that's praised and celebrated by the narrative and characters like Hades, rather than the literal nymphs who are shamed and outcast for simply having sexual independence.

Whatever theory you roll with is on you, you can dismiss all this as just overthinking nonsense, but I do think it makes for interesting food for thought because at this point, LO is undeniably - intentionally or subconsciously - influenced by Rachel's relationship with Lolita, and whether or not that influence is aware at all of Lolita being originally written to be a precautionary tale, that remains to be seen.

[anika-kanroji16]

I am tired of this "Aqua doesn't love Akane" quote.

Ah yes the classic quote I see everywhere, everyday and everytime and again "If I had a dim for every Aquakana shippers saying Aqua doesn't love Akane I'd BE RICH 🤣✨🥳" These are the main reasons why they think Aqua doesn't love Akane

This and

Because let's be real after this chapter was published all the toxic Aquakana shippers began saying "HE DOESN'T LOVE AKANE". Don't sugarcoat it and say it not true cause it is. U>U But anyway, I am trying to break it down to you. Basically, I say He does.

I have many reasons why I think saying Aqua doesn't love Akane is a lie but let's start with the obvious "He was just using her" This is the BIGGEST LIE I HEARD ALL YEAR EVEN AQUA LIED ABOUT IT!! Yes He intended to use it at the beginning for his revenge but the man wanted to quit revenge in Chapter 71 and then later he started to date Akane for real in Chapter 77 he definitely wasn't just using her but Akane described it best for me.

If he didn't love her why was he so concerned about her safety? Last time I checked the person he was willing to avoid for safety reasons is Kana. So let's travel back in time will we all the back to season 1 he was saved Akane's life and after that he had the idea save Akane's reputation with clips of Love Now showing how they view Akane and he had a smile. And I am gonna go even further and say this, if he doesn't care about Akane then why her being safe and saving her reputation was apart of Aqua's happy moments in season 2

and Later in the chapter Aqua said basically said this

if this isn't love then sir I don't know WHAT IS THEN! To prove my point even more Aqua said this. "Now I don't have to worry about putting Akane in danger or getting her hands dirty" meaning he did this to protect and not because he didn't love her. Which means he putting Akane on the same level as Kana. Pushing her away because he cares about her or should I say because he loves her. Also side note if Aqua don't care about Akane then why did he comforted during season 2? "The anime didn't have to go that hard, but they deliberately set up this parallel. It isn't only that Akane and Aqua are dressed as Saya and Touki, they are behaving the part, too. Aqua is there to reassure her that she did nothing wrong, and to have her back so she can have the result she wishes for. Just like Touki with Saya." By @skania Now there more to this, know that he cares about her but is he happy with her. Now, the answer is still FUCKING YES. Let me explain.

We know that the thought of Akane's being safe and her reputation being saved is enough to make him happy right which means he cares about her but what about Akane herself? Well season 2 practically answered that for us. Because when we saw Aqua's happy moments we saw Aqua's first date with Akane being there which means Akane makes him happy. Not just Kana but also Akane makes him happy and that important because if Akane makes him happy that shows how much Akane means to him.

Basically if I am correct which I am U_U, Akane's safety and Akane herself equal this face. And that not hard to believe because when Yuki and Mem cho was teasing about which Akane he likes this was his expression. So it really not hard to assume he was like this because of Akane because like I said before Akane's safety and Akane herself makes him happy as seen in season 2.

Now let expand more into season 2 because let focus on this scene more especially him coming to comfort Akane cause she feel bad about making Kana hide, Aqua comes and tell her that it isn't her fault and Kana doesn't know herself as well as she might think like I said before why Aqua do this if he don't care about her whatsoever. But more importantly when Akane said "You know I don't know want to win that way" he smirked say "In that case we'll drag him into the spotlight together." Why would he smile at Akane like that if he wasn't happy with her or at least liking her determination.

Also another thing

WHY WOULD HE SMILE AT AKANE DURING THE INTRO IF HE WASN'T HAPPY WITH HER!! And Aqua said something after he broke up with Akane which prove he was happy with her. Aqua saying "Those happy days are over." Happy days meaning his days of dating Akane that means he was happy dating Akane and those day meant something to him. So when he said "I took a wrong turn." I don't think he meant in way you guys thinking like he regretted dating Akane if anything he meant he shouldn't have quit revenge, but not because he regretted

dating Akane. Also in chapter 143, he said "I've lied to too many people, I've hurt many people with my selfish requests, how can I smile now?" Noticed that one of the people there was Akane. He probably regretted hurting her. Probably regretted lying to her as well.

Also, if he didn't love her why did he help her ? Credits to @skania

"First, Aqua helps Akane voice her concerns about the script:

Then he helps solve the disconnect between the ones in charge of the script and the original author, thus doing Akane and everyone involved a big service:

Then he helps Akane win against Kana, going as far as to agree to do emotional acting in order to accomplish it: "

And I already talked about him helping Akane out to drag Kana out. Since Akane don't want to win against that Akane. Notice something HE ALWAYS HELPING AKANE NOT ONCE HE USED HER!! The only times he used her was to find his father and that didn't go well and Goro's body.

"In other words: Aqua spends the entire arc working as a team with Akane. He makes no effort to use her at all.

What's more, all the occasions he had to get Akane's insight about Ai? He uses them to give Akane insight about himself instead."

That is true, all of this is true instead of finding initial he end up opening up to Akane.

Another thing the hug he definitely fell in love with her or at least affect by the hug because again "Remember when Aqua was wondering what to do with Akane before he made the decision to use her one more time he was thinking about the hug aka thinking about his feelings for Akane and wanting to date her for real but then he thought no it's better to break up with her then to hold her back ." "not only that but Aqua did decide to use Akane one last time but that decision wasn't made till he was wondering what he would do with Akane since he didn't want revenge anymore and IMMEDIATELY he thought to the hug with Akane proving that he has feelings for her and he wants to date her and Aqua already says Akane got close to him and accepted him and he wants to be with her and by her side." If Aqua didn't love Akane or at least like Akane why did the hug appeared when he was thinking what he should with Akane after revenge? He was obviously thinking of dating her or least his feelings for her till he knocked down the thought. And Aqua himself did say maybe it okay for him to be in love and again speaking about his feelings for Akane and maybe it okay to date her. Considering the fact that hug did appeared in his mind when thinking about what do with Akane I absolutely think "But I thought it was okay now, so I'll think about it carefully even though it's little too late." THIS LINE IS ABOUT AKANE.

I always talked about Aqua's words to Akane and how he meant every word of it in my Why I love Aquakane post Part 1 and Part 2 but instead I am talk about Akane's words and the affect on Aqua to show Aqua likes Akane. Like example when Akane say "I'll help you kill them" Aqua's black star eye turned white.

When Akane hugged him saying "No matter what happens, i’m on your side, Aqua-kun. " Aqua reaction was this .

When Akane said this and said "Why do you need to bear responsibility for it? That's just wrong!" . He had a shocked expression.

And lastly for my last point why Aqua seemly have the same expression that he had during the hug when Akane said these words, when she experssed her opinions about Aqua.

If he didn't love Akane these words or actions won't affect him but they do. So clearly, he does love Akane since she clearly has an effect on him that not even Kana has.

And as you can see He cares about Akane, make her happy, she makes him happy and much more so if compared to Kana then he definitely does love Akane probably more than Kana.

I am not trying to say he doesn't like Kana I am saying he loves Akane just as much probably even more.

But anyway that ends.

Also Bonus in episode 10 of Season 2 of Oshi No Ko not only we get to see Akane's text messages to Aqua showing how much she cares for him BUT WHEN AQUA WAS THINKING MAYBE IT OKAY FOR HIM TO BE FREE AND LIVE HAPPILY AKANE FREAKING APPERED! Showing that Akane does make him happy.

[duchessofostergotlands]

and thinks children cause their own cancers by not being happy enough.

Sorry he what? Nah there’s are levels to this, like what do you have for gray matter in your brain apart from shit. Such a disgusting human being and ML too, cuz explain me like in five how can you be with somebody who thinks that

Yep, you read it right. If you hate that you should google his views on "vaginal imprints."

I have a podcast where we've talked about Durek and Martha Louise a couple of times. This one is a general intro to their relationship and him as a person: Ep 26. And then we did one on an interview that ML gave where she talked about her beliefs and Durek's: Ep 55

I try to see the shades of grey in people but Durek is not a good dude. He knowingly makes a substantial living from exploiting the sick and vulnerable. Not to mention the strain of misogyny in his work and the accusations of violence against him. He's bad.

Martha Louise is a more nuanced character. She does have some exploitative parts of her work like her clairvoyance, but I do actually think that the kooky headlines have misled people a bit about her. She'll say she's doing a speaking tour with all this woo woo stuff - teaching women to connect with their inner spiritual powers - and then you go to it and it's purely a standard self help talk for women with generic stuff about being strong in your femininity. Nothing more intense than the narration for a yoghurt advert. So most of her views are not that bonkers - especially for royals as there are a surprising number with an interest in this woo woo stuff like Liz, Charles, Mette-Marit etc - and are not actively harmful.

If you listen to Ep 55 we talk about this fascinating thing ML does in the interview. When she talks about her beliefs she is very warm and open. And then she is asked about Durek's comments and she immediately becomes very hostile. She initially denies he said certain things but when they're quoted to her she says basically it's his view and not her's. I have my own theories - I'm sure many do - but I won't share because they're just theories based on a bit of pop psychology and a lot of assumptions. But I do think that it's clear she hasn't really reconciled who Durek is to her vs who he is to everyone else in the world. I don't think ML supports his views, I just think that for various reasons she is still in a kind of denial. She can't engage with anything that might undermine him or threaten the relationship because that would mean potentially losing what he gives to her. It's basically her trying to avoid the Romantic Cognitive Dissonance she feels.

[lorynna]

Andrew Tate, a huge hypocrite, is the perfect example of: create the disease, sell the cure." Now, let me explain.

Tate starts off with his webcam business. He openly admits on camera - filming and releasing the footage himself -, that not only is he purposefully manipulating girls, making them fall in love with him (he himself calls it and actively uses the term "lover boy method" as a descriptor) but then also convincing them to work for him as cam-girls, telling those women that they could get rich together if she would simply start instrumentalizing her body and sexuality. He continues to explain in great detail how exactly he emotionally abused those women, lied to them and used several manipulation tactics on them. But I'd rather not mention all that here, since that would open up a whole new conversation and take too long to fully dive into this.

He also admitted on camera that he robbed them of about half of the money those women made "working for him" and then states and I quote: They thought they were on 50% and I said that the despair of the money was because of taxes."

He continues to talk about men "falling in love" with the women he recruited for his Webcam business which were selling their houses, spending all of their life savings etc. in order to pay for the cam-girl services and he commented on those men's actions saying," give me all of it" admitting he didn't at all care for the lives or fates of those men. Tate built his whole empire on being a pimp, which he defines as and i quote again" being a positive, inspirational, motivating person", exploiting and extracting money from lonely, depressed, porn-addicted men.

Now something might start to click. But isn't he a known advocate for those exact men? Telling them that porn consumption is bad, to get their health and depression in check, recommending going to the gym and preaching about how much he hates prostitutes?

He's an advocate for men's suffering and problems? After he caused so much damage to them, making money off of them, taking advantage of them and furthered their misery? The irony.

First he scammed those men, taking their money with good conscience, now he is an advocate for them, making them hate the kind of women he himself manipulated into this, talking about how bad porn is, when he literally owned a webcam business. And don't dare to come at me with "but people change, maybe he learnt from his mistakes".

For now I just recounted why he's a huge hypocrite but now let's focus on why he is a huge mysognist. He has said many things I don't even want to recount, including but ofc not limited to him demonstrating how he'd hit a women in the face that would "misbehave" and not "listen to him" and I have also unfortunately personally seen the video footage that is going around of him beating up a woman with a belt.

One example out of his many many statements so I can further lead on with this text: He further talks about his webcam business, saying "the only girls i couldn't recruit, were girls who had rich parents. Because they're like: Oh, but I don't need that money, my parents are rich! Girls are gonna get their Luis Vuitton bag either way." Implying how all women are superficial and only rich parents prevent a girl from being a "hoe". He got his fame and money from the same women he continues to publicly shame now.

He damaged women and men at the same time, yet there's still people, mostly men, defending him saying "yeah, but he also sometimes tells things that are true!". I appreciate your intention to differentiate and trying to filter through the many bullshit things he's said just so you can cling on to a single true statement.

Even the worst person sometimes has valid points, but that doesn't mean that we can just overlook the things he did in the past and the overall harm he has caused and is STILL causing.

Aside from all of this stuff, Tate continued to deny many of his statements he himself posted online before, showing massive double standards. It seems like he just tries to profit off what's giving him the largest, most uncritical fan base and by targeting incels who love to follow and hear an "alpha male" talk about how "all women are bitches", fueling their anger due to being rejected by women, he seems to have found a goldmine.

He promotes harmful, misogynistic views on women, promoting toxic behavior towards them and is imprinting on the minds of young, impressionable, vulnerable men.

If after knowing all this, you're still a defender of Tate, you might be just as bad as Tate himself.

[stellisketches]

why? please explain the soldier, port, king in excruciating detail PLEASE

EDIT: ITS FINALLY DONE i'm so sorry this took me like six months I got really busy with school work and I wanted to make sure I wasn't half-assing this anyway thank you for asking please enjoy

For reference I will be quoting the “Poet Soldier King” test on uQuiz as I feel they summarize each role most succinctly.

"You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember: love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is "FIGHT". You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal." -Soldier

It's a subtle element but Vylad’s entire character/existence is about enduring conflict. It's an easy thing to forget due to his calm demeanor, but Vylad has been fighting since the moment he was born (hell, even before). Fighting the ill-contrived gossip of being a bastard son, fighting to prove himself a genuine Ro’Meave, and fighting against Garte and Zane’s abuse over his childhood. It’s a subtler form of conflict, but it’s very interesting to imagine how he was able to put up with all of it (I’ve planned so many prequel fics about the Ro’Meaves you guys). Then there’s the whole shadowknight topic that really is indicative of itself. Vylad's whole arc was based upon leaving behind the violence of his past as a literal soldier within the Shadow Lord's army. Again it’s really easy to forget but this is someone who was revived to burn the world to the ground and slaughter any and every man, woman, and child that got in the way of it. He told Aphmau himself in season 2: “One good deed does not fix a thousand wrongs done. I'm not a good person, let's just leave it at that. Please.” We may not have seen it on screen, but who knows how long Vylad was traveling with Sasha and Gene. I doubt Phoenix Drop was the first village they targeted, and I doubt Gene or Sasha or even Zenix were ever like “oh yeah you can wait outside while we commit atrocities on this Lord and his family and burn the whole village to the ground.” Vylad has a very practical mindset (another trait indicative of a good soldier), and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was purposefully good at his job so it would land him more opportunities to get out of the nether now and again. He enacted violence well enough that he was trusted to be sent outside the nether to go fuck up the overworld. Vylad is a man thoroughly haunted by war and the violence he’s committed against others in a way his brothers just… aren't. Sure, Garroth knows fighting and violence as a means of protection and ensuring the safety of others, but he doesn’t know war. He’s never had someone he cared about die in his arms. He’s never seen a whole village burn to the ground and see innocent people slaughtered left and right. He’s never seen a child screaming at their dead mother to get up. He may use violence, but he was never a violent person. Zane, on the other hand, most definitely was, however, but he hardly ever enacted any of the violence himself. 90% of the time it was jurors or guards he’d given orders to. And while he was more than happy to get his hands dirty every once in a while, he never felt genuine consequence from it. 

Continuing on Vylad’s inner psyche, we see after he still keeps a very practical, soldier-like mindset out of the nether in company with Aph and Co: He gets annoyed at Aphmau when she puts off telling everyone about the Tuu’la invasion. He surveys Laurance from a distance and does not interfere even in danger because he’s aware of the long term effect of distrust it would cause him. Upon the chaos in Narhaka, he immediately goes to burn books that have important locations the enemy could use against them. This is actually one of my favorite scenes because of how subtly status-quo breaking it is. Tell me right now of any scene involving book burnings done by a guy the audience is supposed to root for. Vylad’s view of the world makes him incredibly pragmatic and able to calculate the win-loss ratio of his actions and let that decide whether or not he will go through with it.

Vylad may not have the typical surface-level look of the characters often put into the category, but if you really dive into his past, his mindset, and the way he views the world, he easily fits into the role of soldier; with the final line “Your love is where you heal” setting him on the path of redemption we see throughout the whole series.

"Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth : you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out of it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear." -Poet

Now I admit for Zane it does require a more particular perspective to place him as poet, but I’ll start simple and slowly transition to red string and corkboard. Firstly, from the original song lyrics, “He will slay you with his tongue” applies in at least two different ways. The first being obvious: Zane is incredibly charismatic- you don’t just make it to High Priest without a certain degree of people skills included but not limited to negotiating, preaching, and being able to reason your way through any theological question a questioning sinner could ask you. It’s a shame we don’t see it put into use very often throughout the series, but I think his position gives enough testament to his people skills. The second way this line applied is a bit more literal and a bit more dark, which would be the sheer amount of people who were murdered not by his hands directly, but on mere orders. He can quite literally have people slain in just a few words to the right people. Moving to the more esoteric; the line “You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough.” seems like it be a hitch to his characterization, as it first invokes the idea of someone who lacks self-confidence, which is FAR from what we see Zane characterized as in the story. However I see this from the lense of artists becoming blind to the depth of their own skill. Zane is powerful, but it’s not enough for him. He’s become so accustomed to the level of influence he holds he’s become desensitized to it, like how you stop feeling the cold of the water once you stay in it long enough.The power he’s been swimming in his entire life no longer brings that vitalic shudder of control he craves. Thus he seeks power that goes beyond mortal influence to raw, unchanneled divinity, as that’s the only thing that he has ever been told is above him. He hungers the same as any artist— to be something greater than they already are.

“You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create.” The idea of creation draws back to Zane’s relationship with control and divinity. I think it's highly debatable as to whether or not Zane has actual “faith” in the divine (i.e, seeing them as gods he wishes to emulate or simply as extremely powerful beings minus the religious element), but in either case it again leads back to desire for more. (sidenote: Zane’s fatal flaw being lust is such a delicious piece of irony and I could make an essay of its own on it). Anyway, back to the point I was originally trying to make: Zane sows pain and destruction as a means of asserting his power/importance both to others and himself. The “pain” spoken of would normally belong to the poet themself— but this is no ordinary poet, and there is no specific indication where said pain emerges from. 

"Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe." -King

God where do I start. “Duty. Strength. Resignation” It’s like someone just said ‘describe Garroth in three words’. Duty has been his entire life, wanted or not, which leads directly into resignation. “You were told to do things and you did them.The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will.” He learned his history. He learned the politics. He followed the dogma. He believed in Irene and his father and the glory of O’Khasis and his divine duty to lord over its people. His people. He said it himself in episode 68 he wanted to be exactly like his father, and that he thought to be lord was an honor and a privilege. To him, the weight of the world has rested upon his shoulders for so long that he becomes accustomed to each additional hardship quickly and quietly, never kicking up a fuss about his growing stress and dissatisfaction, like a frog in a pool of water that is steadily increasing in temperature. He locks his festering disdain for glorification of leadership away from his father, his family, and the rest of the world because he cannot show that he is anything but the Atlas of duty he was born to be. 

Until, one day, he has enough. He saw what happens to his dear little brother, likely the only person he felt he could truly bond with, and despite everything he still dealt with it, for the sake of the people around him, but when his father commands him to marry a girl he has never met (likely while he is still processing his grief) in the name of ‘duty’, it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. He sees that everything he has worked towards is meaningless as he will never reach a point where his father will be satisfied with him. That his father will continue to take and take from him until there is nothing left but a soulless puppet that will continue to speak his words even after his reign has ended. Every burden he has carried, every grievance he has hidden, every struggle he’s overcome and the hard work he’s put into building himself a true heir of O’Khasis— it all amounts to nothing.

So he leaves. 

Now, let me ask you: what would you do if you were a runaway prince escaping the crushing weight of expectation? Take a bunch of money from your no-good dad? Buy a boat ticket and live a new life in luxury on the other side of the world? Never work a day again and dive head first into careless relaxation? Surely, you wouldn’t look twice at a dilapidated little village on the coast. Wouldn’t bother to stop by and lift a finger to help it. You're free, you have a whole life of sweet exemption to look forward to. You wouldn’t give it the time of day.

“You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture?”

Garroth finds himself in Phoenix Drop— a rickety dead-end little town as far away from home as possible. He stays, and he helps. He keeps the village running, he helps the Lord wherever he can. He takes in the broken, starved boy he finds in the woods. He does whatever he can to improve the lives of the people around him. Why? He owes them nothing, he’s spent a lifetime crushed under the weight of people's expectations and he turns around just to find himself carrying the weight of more lives on his shoulders. He is doing everything he was taught and everything he ran away from. 

But this time it’s different. This time, he sees how he’s helping. There’s no more grating voice telling him none of the effort matters. He has a rigid back and steady hands, metaphorically and physically. For the first time in his life, he can see with his own two eyes that his effort is worth it. There isn’t doubt and lies and corruption floating in and out of his mind. Just the warm, honest smiles of the people he helps. He feels it and it is real. The question “Is it nature or nurture?” is genuine: Is Garroth helping these people out of the kindness of his heart or because it was what he was always told to do, and now that he is without the purpose he was assigned he’s leaning on something familiar? Personally, I think that’s for the audience to decide. I myself would say a mixture of both, leaning more so towards nature. But I digress. 

It’s better then, when he helps and can see that he is doing good, but of course, that peace is not to last him. With the Lord’s death and impending turmoil of Phoenix Drop, Garroth’s role in the village shifts drastically to closer resembling the role he ran away from. People are treating him with near as much kindness anymore, no. The most forgiving are losing faith and the least are blaming him. Blaming him for failing to meet their expectations. Now, as things are deteriorating, he has more than enough reason to leave. He gave it the good ol’ college try, and he failed. With the sentiments of the village becoming scarily familiar to that of his father, he should just say “fuck it” and head on off to that faraway land where no one will know his name.

But still, he doesn’t. We see him in Rebirth and how desperate he is to fix the village, to make it work. Even when everyone else is telling him to give up, he refuses. Even sinking, a captain stays on his ship. (Side note: it’s scenes like this that cause me to start tearing up people’s lawns whenever I see takes that label Garroth as having a “fear of responsibility”). And he is completely ready to either make things work or die trying, regardless of what stands in his way. 

‘You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs.’

Aphmau wasn’t the first person he saved. Zenix had likely been around for at least a year beforehand. However Zenix was a hothead teenager in need of guidance, which simply made him become another responsibility Garroth set upon himself. Don’t get me wrong, he definitely cares for him, but their relationship is far different than the one he has with Aphmau. 

With Aphmau, he finally has someone who shares the burden. Not only that, but sharing it willingly and with a smile on her face. He’s not used to having a person who presents themselves as an equal sharer of responsibility. Much less, someone who is willing and wanting for him to put his burdens on her (At least, that’s how he sees it). He can’t remember the last time he truly allowed himself to be vulnerable with someone. All the desires he’s pushed down start to bubble back up again, and he starts to imagine things he’d long tried to do away with. He sees Aphmau as a strong leader, one whose idealism is a strength and not a weakness, and how she accomplishes things he never quite got around to doing. An admiration grows for her, yes, but that’s not what makes her different. The difference, he sees, is her vulnerability. How she allows herself to be vulnerable around him. How despite the brave face she puts on, she has just as much fear that she isn’t enough. And she tells him this, directly, because she trusts him. And all of a sudden he realizes that if she can be strong to the rest of the world, and yet still let him see her weakness, her softness, then maybe, just maybe

“Your love is where you breathe.”

He can take his armor off, too.

[t0ast-ghost]

Watching Star Trek TOS for the first time, and here are my thoughts on episode three (Charlie “X”)! (I didn’t do episode two cause I just wanted to watch it but I love Bones)

- so far I really like the kid

- Kirk shut up, let Charlie talk

- oh no he’s frightened by the door :(((

- girls do not look THAT different, getting some bad vibes from you Charlie

- BONES!!! (Why does he stand like that, it’s so curved)

- “I want people to like me” oh god they gave this boy anxiety

- He’s learning about the patriarchy, like Ken

- Kirk making Bones tell Charlie about puberty, he looked so defeated

- SPOCKS EYESHADOW!!!

- Charlie gets a Kirk assigned father, it’s not Kirk himself but he did assign Bones to do it, can’t you see the man is tired Jim?!?

- why is she being mean to Spock in verses? Nvm this is fun and he’s enjoying her singing

- HE SLAPPED KIRKS BUTT WHAT

- “there’s no right way to hit a woman.. you know man to man.. uhh… you understand, Charlie?” That was the worst way to try and explain anything, Kirk

- “I put meatloaf in the ovens, now there’s turkeys, real turkeys” then Charlie’s little laugh

- aww they’re playing chess together, normal husband activities

- “you smell like a girl” “I feel hungry… all over” back the fuck up Charlie

- stop trying to get Bones to explain stuff to him, Kirk

- this episode is just so icky, one issue is that they can’t just have an adult conversation and they can’t explain anything properly to him, they’re just telling him no and that he’s wrong. It’s a good example of how concealing information doesn’t allow people to find their own morals but instead creates a bunch of rules which can be easily broken if the person doesn’t believe in them because they don’t understand the logic behind them. (Not saying that the boundaries they’re setting for him are wrong, he just can’t understand them because they’re not explaining shit)

- SHUT UP SAM HE’S TRYING- oops Sam’s gone

- damn that German expressionist lighting tho, like something out of metropolis

- I FUCKIN DARE YOU KIRK, PICK HIM UP SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- okay Kirk saying it’s his choice is good cause at least he’s teaching him that these things he does are his own actions

- “short tempered, because he doesn’t understand” cause you won’t explain shit without mind games and metaphors

- Spock and Bones DO NOT want to get involved

- when Charlie’s explaining what he did to the Antares Bones looks absolutely terrified (Bones sitting like that on the table is… I have many thoughts)

- OH NO UHURA!

- Don’t you dare call Spock Mr. Ears

- “Teenager with supernatural abilities realizes his full potential and decides to use it for evil NOT CLICKBAIT”

- Why would you do that, why would you turn her into an iguana

- GET HIM!!! Wait no! Janice!

- “I love you” “you don’t know what that means” good for her, fuck you Charlie

- He gave Kirk period pain

- “cause you need me to run the ship, and I need him” Spirk? It’s more likely than you think

- this slide from Bones

- “I don’t think you can handle anymore, you’ve reached your limit” Spock and Bones start fucking shit up immediately for Kirk

- Kirk was so ready to punch a bitch

- nice fucking try Charlie- oh Kirk is defending him- nvm he still gets yoinked

- imagine if Charlie becomes Q lol (is that a thing? Are they related?)

- well that’s done now… where’s Scotty, Sulu, and Checkov? (Sulu appeared shirtless in the credits as I wrote that)

Thanks for sticking around again :)

Here’s a link to the first ramble

And all the other rambles

Below the cut is some thoughts I had on the second episode

Some thoughts on episode 2 (The Man Trap):

- it was kinda funny seeing Jim be like “she’s old as fuck, just like Bones”

- I didn’t realize that was where “he’s dead, Jim” came from and my dad quotes it all the time

- it was interesting that even the creature referred to themselves as an animal

- McCoy in the ending where he really didn’t want to kill somebody he loved even if they were just the image

- would not want to be the person to explain what happened to her to Bones

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Ok, it's no surprise that I deeply enjoy Much Ado About Nothing as a play (and there are some truly delightful film and filmed staged productions), and there's a lot of talk about the scene between Beatrice and Benedick after Hero and Claudio's aborted wedding (Act IV, scene i).

What I don't see a lot of though, is how Benedick literally accidentally talks Beatrice into asking him to kill Claudio.

Yeah, Beatrice didn't walk into that scene ready to ask BENEDICK to make this right. Let's walk through the lesser-quoted lines from this scene.

We all know the iconic, "Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while," but then we get this little exchange:

Benedick. Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged. Beatrice. Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her! Benedick. Is there any way to show such friendship? Beatrice. A very even way, but no such friend. Benedick. May a man do it? Beatrice. It is a man's office, but not yours.

Benedick asking if a man may do "it" is a blatant offer to try to fix things, but it's pretty damn clear at this point in the text that he has big-ass heart eyes and hasn't thought this offer through, because the way to right Hero is to either get Claudio to recant--which he's not going to do because that is going to make him look like an absolute dingus and it will embarrass Don Pedro--or else to kill him in a duel. To ask a man to kill his best friend--even if that best friend is a complete and utter chungus--is cruel. It is one thing to call a friend out for being a dick to Hero, but to ask for Benedick's to be the hand that kills Claudio is a whole other level that Beatrice is going out of her way to excuse him from.

She is explicitly--and correctly, frankly, given the chains of command and power dynamics involved--excusing Benedick from being responsible for Claudio's behavior and correction. And while yes, part of dismantling the patriarchy is men holding each other accountable, murder is not accountability, it's the beginning of a goddamn blood feud. So Beatrice is over here very subtly going "You have clearly not thought this offer through, and I'm not going to ask you to kill your best friend." It is not his office.

And rather than hearing what Beatrice is saying, Benedick goes and MAKES IT HIS OFFICE by declaring his love for Beatrice. Which like...aside from this being not the moment, it just makes it even clearer that Benedick is not actually listening to Beatrice here. His focus is on her, but Beatrice is razor-focused on Hero and the fact that Claudio just more or less ended Hero's life. But here's the other thing.

I subscribe to the "Beatrice and Benedick had a prior relationship before the play and it ended badly" theory, because I think it explains a lot about their dynamics. But that also makes this scene a little bit risky and pointed. Because yeah, while Beatrice warns him not to swear he loves her and then eat his words, if they have a history, then her "Kill Claudio" is not just a request. It's a test.

He already didn't choose her once, presumably for way lower-stakes reasons. So to ask him to choose her, to be on her side, with all of what that means, is a test of a possible new relationship. And it's one Benedict comes perilously close to failing, because of course he's not going to kill his best friend and brother-in-arms.

And just like that, Beatrice is out, because Benedick "dare easier be friends with [her] than fight with [her] enemy." His choice is not her, and she will not be anyone's second choice. Especially given that choosing Claudio means that Benedick is engaging in the infuriating mental gymnastics where Hero can have been done badly wrong, but Claudio somehow isn't Hero and Beatrice's enemy.

This is not a complicated situation; Claudio was absolutely in the wrong, caused harm, and needs to be called on the goddamn carpet for it, and Benedick is over here trying to "both sides" it. I'd have been out too, and then he has the nerve to insist that he and Beatrice be friends before she's allowed to leave the stage! I adore that she then full-on goes off on him, and every single time Benedick tries to get a word in edgewise, Beatrice comes up with another argument and just cuts his ass off. There is no "letting him explain," there is no "I'm just playing devil's advocate," there is no "trust me, I know Claudio." There is only the facts of what happened, and Beatrice hammering them directly into Benedick's head. Lots of productions cut out the attempted interruptions by Benedick in favor of letting Beatrice run with a monologue, but if you look at the text, he tries FOUR SEPARATE TIMES to interrupt her.

But Beatrice just steamrolls on, and the thing is, it works.

Beatrice hits and refutes key arguments that we can just imagine Benedick bringing up. The bullshit logic of him being in a romantic relationship with Beatrice while supporting Claudio's actions. The undeniable public slander of Hero. The bullshit that is slut-shaming and measuring a woman's worth by her virginity. The divide between an "ideal" manhood and the reality of men's behavior. The nonsense that is how easily men are valorized for slandering women. Every point brought up and thrown in Benedick's face until he is left with only one final question; the only possible question that could matter at the end of this scene:

Benedick. Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?

And Beatrice is very, very sure. Which ultimately is enough for Benedick to choose her, and agree that yeah, Claudio needs to be called out and corrected, and he is now on board with taking that responsibility.

It is kind of wild to me that this scene begins with Beatrice trying to protect Benedick from the reality of the situation, and insisting that if he wants to be in love with her, if he wants to be in her life again, then this time he has to choose her for all that that means. And as Beatrice makes clear, what that means is a disruption--if brief--of the patriarchy and the status quo. Being with Beatrice means that Benedick has to stop being the prince's jester and stand against toxic masculinity and harmful patriarchy in a real, concrete way.

It's Shakespeare, so that doesn't stick beyond the happy ending, but it is here, and Beatrice really said "if you want to be with me, you have to stand with and for me and the women around me" when it was clear Benedick wasn't taking no for an answer.

[fatalmorning]

‼️ REALLY LONG - Eve Moral. Deep dive? About the 3 brothers. Find them all really interesting… Edgar in actions, Eve in character and Kai in… story? Honestly can’t get enough of the Kai and Eve dynamic. Really the 3 brothers in general but them mostly. Their story is a lot more sad when you think about it.

First of all Kai. The youngest, and also the most screwed over one. He gives you this relaxed vibe, laid back but his last part gives you a kind of depressive vibe. He goes back and forth from putting on this “fun and cool” face to this “I need help” face. I mean think about it really. His older brother, who has sociopathic behavior, practically mentally tortures their mother into running away (when she clearly already had her own problems). Then years later his twin brother runs away. Leaving him alone with Edgar. Edgar then starts to blackmail Kai, in this fucked up relationship where it’s, “clean up my mess and I’ll pay you. If you don’t I can get you arrested for literally hundreds of murders from the DNA of YOURS that I have.” Kai almost makes it seem like he’s there, doing it willingly at first., which he’s clearly not, then outright says he’s not. Almost blowing it off at first by saying “oh well he’s providing for me.” Before deciding to just tell the listener. But then you realize how much more damage Edgar is causing by lying to Eve. Saying, “Look at him… the disgusting things he does. His life, his actions, his money. It’s greedy, it’s rotten.” (Not an actual quote). Almost like he’s playing into the visions Eve has by telling him that Kai does it for money. Because it’s profitable, which is Eve’s whole theory and big idea with Hypnos… about this power imbalance between society and people with power. Eve knows Edgar is a liar, but he believes him because Edgar has played into Eve’s beliefs. That might have been the cause for Eve running away. They would have been in their teens then since we know in the videos Kai is 19. Or he could have been told that after running away. We know they had little contact due to Eve sending checks in the mail. There’s no clear timeline. But lying and misunderstanding isn’t the (main) problem. The fact that Eve never knew what was really going on. He was so caught up with his own life, and problems with Hypnos. He’ll never know how much Kai actually cared about him. Kai talks about it, about Eve, and that the money is proof Eve is well- doing good for himself and that he’s glad Eve escaped. He’s glad that there’s a chance Eve cares even a little about his family after everything, and glad that he’s “happy and healthy.”

And then we have Eve. Him and his cult can be an entirely different post. But for now, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know that Kai still gives a shit, he thinks the roles are swapped. He thinks Kai is murdering people, streaming red rooms for money. And Edgar is just a sociopath who drove their mother insane. He has no reason to like his family really… but he tried. In an effort to get out of his own problems he used Kai.

Having no context on what the possible standoff or event was like is heartbreaking. Maybe Kai saw Eve and was happy, hopeful, excited even.., before immediately being betrayed without an explanation. Maybe he was caught off guard and never got to see Eve one last time. Whatever happened, we now know Kai never got his chance to explain because of Eve’s explanation as to why he did it. And after Eve leaves the country, he won’t ever know unless somebody makes an effort to get to him about it. Somebody as in the only two people who know which are Edgar and Kai’s listener. Both know Eve exists but know nothing about his whereabouts. If Edgar wanted to, he could try to make an effort but he doesn’t seem like the type to care. He hasn’t really lost a lot, he could easily put another person in that relationship. And Kai’s listener doesn’t have enough material to go off of, if they tried it wouldn’t be long before they got themselves stuck in some situation with somebody who has connections to this whole problem. Likely ending with them dead too.

[kanmom51]

JM Like crazy - my crazy thoughts

First of all, stream stream stream.

Now, let's talk about Like crazy a little.

I'm trying to soak it all in, so I will probably miss some stuff, but I'll give it a try.

The visuals are incredible, no doubt.

And the message is there, a little hidden, a little double twisted, so to speak, because I see what people are throwing out there. All heteronormative and all.

But peeps (gosh, I've been loving using that word lately), I see so much more than a man and a woman, that don't interact, did you notice that part all of you that are saying he's going in to kiss her. Like where the hell did you get that idea from?

I'm not going to do a second by second breakdown of the clip but I'm going to leave you with a few of my thoughts.

Oh, and so fucking what if he starts it out with "she"...does that mean the song is about a her? I really really don't think so. But I'll get to that.

This is a good explanation about the she:

Dropping this pic here too...

Oh, and I don't remember, did I say the English lyrics are different than the Korean. Imma gonna talk about the Korean, cause they're the ones that are on the clip, not to mention they are more telling, in my opinion.

Ok then, let's get going...

JM in the club.

Standing alone.

Zoom in on the eye then zoom out, flashback Serendipity. And why do I say Serendipity you ask? Well, because, you'll see ya'll. Stop being so impatient.

When he's singing:

"She's saying: Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight..."

The room is clean.

It goes on:

"baby it's fine if you leave, stay with me just for today" - room turns muddy, dirty.

That's where I feel the quote ends.

The she explained above makes so much sense in this context.

He continues with

"watch me go keep me drenched all night (away), so that morning gets drunk and never comes..."

I'm getting used to it

Did I come too far to find the me you used to know?

Yeah I know

You know

I know

I'd rather be...

Something look familiar?

Perhaps certain "I know you know I know" lyrics?

He is running into that bar/club and he's alone, he's drinking, he's 'having fun', but at the same time he's not, and when he's dancing and making contact with another, he has his arm around another guy.

This

Him walking against the stream, looked at, perhaps judged, and singing

I'd rather be lost in the lights I'm outta my mind

Please hold onto the end of the night...

walls closing in on him (hallway narrower than it was a second ago).

Now this part in the lyrics.

Nah, I will not accept any other interpretation (though I know there are hundreds of them), but nope, this is mine and I'm sticking with it:

Each night

you spin me up high

(psss...the dirt again people)

the moon embraces you

Let me have a taste

Give me a good ride

Ooh, surprise a queer couple...

Oh, and the colours...do we have gold/yellow and purple?

We have people making out, not JM. JM is by himself. It adds to the feeling of loneliness.

He's singing

forever you and I', but he's standing alone...

Then the bathroom scene.

Again he's alone.

I'm going endlessly crazy

I'd rather be lost in the lights

I'm outta my mind

(bathroom walls coming apart, leaving him standing alone...

Each night

You spin me up high

The moon embraces me

Let me have a taste

All while he's here:

Yes, he's 'showcasing' a hetero couple, but once again he's standing or sitting on that screen alone.

We have a hetero couple shown all while he's singing about what he'd rather be doing...

Then again, repeats the "give me a good ride", again standing alone in the crowd.

It's gonna be a good night

(oh I'm falling)

Forever you and I

No don't you wake me

I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me

I need a way we

I need a way we can dream on

Euphoria vibes much?

"Won't you please stay in my dreams, yeah...

Even if the earth crumbles No matter who shakes this world Don't let go of my hand Please don't wake me up from this dream"

Pausing one second here, crying a little.

Moving on...

He walks back into the room, on the way he's leaving muddy footprints, the room is dirty, muddy, his hands smeared with mud, which he spreads on the screen.

Yeah, every single work I say here can be total crap.

But it can also be all true. I certainly feel like it is.

There are too many references. Coincidences once again?

I don't think so.

Oh, and there's this:

That's it for now folks.

If I have more thoughts on the matter, I'll definitley come back.

This is me writing a few crazy thoughts after watching Like crazy a few times.

Go stream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jrat226]

Alright so I watched disventure camp, is Italian TDI ripoff?, yes, is it good? I'd say it's pretty damn good once you get past some of the acting, but honestly it's cool so fuck it let's rank the season 2 characters (cause they're leagues better than season 1s cast)

1. James (I mean what's not to like the man has strategy, charisma, smarts, a healthy relationship, an amazing arc and character development, let's be honest he's the main character, there's a reason he won, plus he poisoned yul) "I can't replace your teddy bear but i can try"

2. Aiden (I love Aiden, that's it, he's just a funny little guy) "remember when you told me i needed a push.. well now it's your turn"

3. Connor (he was wasted potential in my opinion he should've acted as like a peacekeeper in the season and helped the teens with their problems, but still he's amazing) "raya was right adult connor fits much better with the kids at camp"

4. Rosa Maria (she's fucking awesome) "that's it I'm going to whoop his ass"

5. Yul (ok I hate this bitch, but it's fun hating him and omg I love this idea, the fruitiest man I've ever seen being, homophobic, sexist and racist is the funniest concept for a character ever conceived) "a latina stealing why am I not surprised"

6. Kai (peace and tranquility) "thanks everyone except you yul, go fuck yourself"

7. Hunter (I like hunters character, they ruined him and the poly couple in all stars but hey what can you do) "that didn't stop them from getting into my bed in the middle of the night"

8. Ally (gamer girl gf, good moments, solid character) (imma be honest i don't recall a single quote... Ehhh fuck it)

9. Tess (depressed goth gf, nice, solid character) "I'm still here aren't I?"

10. Lake (a lot of people like her, her friendships are cute but outside that she's mid I'm sorry) "I'm dead"

11. Maggie (she's cool her relationship with Kai is cute) *slap* "damn Oliver calm down"

12. Oliver (Oliver is chill, I like him, I liked his little side story)

13. Raya (ok I don't get the hype with raya, she's like a twist villain in a shitty movie, like cool she's a villain if only I was able to see that sooner instead of the last 4 episodes, like dead ass this is your queen??)

14. Karol (do I need to explain??, but I'll give her a point for being an animal person, that's something)

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

“Do you see this bouquet man, this monsieur aux camélias, he’s sitting there and laughing at us … […] Well, then, why did I torment him for a whole five years and not let him leave me? As if he was worth it! He’s simply the way he has to be … He’s still going to consider me guilty before him: he brought me up, he kept me like a countess, money, so much money, went on me, he found me an honest husband there, and Ganechka here, and what do you think: I didn’t live with him for five years, but I took his money and thought I was right! I really got myself quite confused! […] Why did I waste my five years in this spite!”

- The Idiot 1.15 (Pevear & Volokhonsky translation)

This quote from Nastasya Filippovna absolutely destroys me and I want to make a second and slightly more coherent attempt at explaining why.

The following text post is potentially triggering, I’m putting it under a cut.

This man stole so much from her—her entire life, really. From the time she was twelve years old, he began to mould and shape her for his own purposes, and then the second she became the age where it was legal (sixteen), he began using her sexually.

(And let me digress for a moment to point out that although it was legal, that doesn’t mean it was just what people did back then. The idea that teenage girls in the 19th century were just being married off to older men left and right is a widespread misconception but decidedly untrue. It would have been highly frowned upon for a man his age to be having a “relationship” with a girl her age—see Raskolnikov’s reaction to Svidrigailov talking about his 16 year old bride-to-be, or the fact that Grushenka is referred to as having been “a child of seventeen” when she was seduced by Musialowicz. People in the past were not so different from us, and they would have had the same reaction to this abuse of power that we do, even if they wouldn’t articulate why it is so damaging in the psychological terms we would use today. And worse still, Totsky was her legal guardian, which gives the whole thing a whiff of incest—incest being a popular gothic trope, and certainly intended by Dostoevsky to elicit horror from the audience.)

A single incident of assault is traumatic enough, but the impact of what happened to Nastasya is just catastrophic. She has absolutely no way of knowing who she would have been without Totsky’s influence, no access to the kind of therapy it would take to try to separate that from herself. She does not even know who she is. By her own words:

“I almost do not exist now and I know it; God knows what lives in me in place of me. ”

- 3.10

So now, it’s her 25th birthday. And she already knows she can expect no apology from Totsky, because this conversation already happened:

[…]he said frankly that he was unable to repent of his initial behavior with her, because he was an inveterate sensualist and not in control of himself […]

-1.4

But she wants, I think, for him to acknowledge or at least begin to comprehend the harm he has caused her. The way that he forever altered her life and her sense of self. Totsky thinks she can be married off and get on with life as though nothing had happened, but that’s not possible for her, and she wants him to acknowledge or at least see that this is the case.

She wants to make him face himself, in the way we saw Avdotya Romanovna manage to do to Svidrigailov in Crime and Punishment.

When he chooses to tell that stupid story about the camelias, she sees once and for all that it’s not possible. Totsky is incapable of examining his own role in her outburst at the party. He is incapable of empathising with her and recognising his culpability, too self-centred to even try to imagine how it must have been to experience his disgusting actions from her perspective.

He is incapable of beginning to understand how damaging it was that she lost her entire family at 8 years old, only to be again uprooted at 12. She had been virtually adopted into this German family, and then one day this older man (who probably made her feel uncomfortable in a confusing way she couldn’t pinpoint) came to visit, and just like that she had to lose her family all over again. To go from a simple life in a busy household full of other children to an isolated, luxurious house with no one but this new governess to teach her all these refined subjects, and a childless widow supervising her. I imagine the complicated emotions she must have felt whenever she thought of that man who was paying for all of this; the confusion and guilt—because surely she should be grateful to this man, right? She would have no way of explaining even to herself any negative feelings he gave rise to in her, any vague unease he might have given her. Nothing concrete had happened yet. And she had no one she could talk to about any of this.

And then when she turned 16, that man came to visit again, and shattered her world even further.

But Totsky is incapable of ever facing up to any of that. When she prevented his marriage five years ago, when she continued to take his money for five years while tormenting and irritating him in every way she could think of, he couldn’t see that as anything but a reflection on her character. As far as he is concerned, she should be grateful to him for the the money he’s spent on her lifestyle and education, and the sexual stuff (abuse!!!) just shouldn’t be that big of a deal. He’s a sensualist—he can’t help it. Why is she making such an issue?

When, at this party, she tries to wrest at least some semblance of power back into her own hands, from his perspective, she is simply making a scene. To him, she is a beautiful woman who tragically went mad. To Totsky, it is simply an unfortunate shame.

So in the above quote, we see her coming to the realisation that Totsky was never worth her pain and spite and rage. He will never introspect, he will never reflect, he will never change. The bouquet man is not capable. This is what he is, and he will never be anything else.

And now she sees only one place she can turn that rage, that destructive impulse: onto her own self.

[yzafre]

Kairi, Namine, Xion, and using their words

So KH has a lot of characters that are off-shoots of previous ones, and it can be fun to look for the parallels and the difference. While trying to figure out Kairi's "voice", I found it interesting to compare how the three "Kairi variations" used their words when experiencing overwhelming or negative emotions. How they handle these moments are very interesting.

Let's look at three memorable quotes by them, to show what I mean:

"Sora, let's take the raft and go. Just the two of us!"

Everyone talks about this line at some point. Like, what a weird thing for Kairi to say when we're still being introduced to her character! Riku's supposed to be her friend too, right?

Well, let's look at the context - not of everything that's going on around them, but of the conversation. What does she say right before?

"You know, Riku has changed."

Okay, so she's thinking about the ways Riku has been different now - probably in a way that upset or scares her. As other's have noticed, Kairi isn't as interested in leaving the islands (a safe place) as the others - an aversion to uncomfortable things. Riku is her friend, but it's not unbelievable a part of her wants to get away from whatever the change is that scares her.

So she has this mixed feeling about Riku, she tries to bring it up but ends up dancing around it, which Sora does not understand, obviously. Then, instead of explaining what she means, just jumps like, 10 steps ahead.

What this implies to me is that Kairi doesn't want to face this (any?) complex negative emotion head on. Maybe because it's her own fear and resentment? There's an element of avoidance of repression, here.

And then! And then as soon as it's out she immediately backtracks. Immediately laughs it off. "Just kidding!"

That makes it seem to me that her line about the raft was involuntary. She did not think ahead, maybe didn't even mean to say that at all, certainly regretted it as soon as she said it. It is definitely an expression of an honest, maybe a bit ugly, emotion she's experiencing, but is not the full context. It's certainly not the root of the issue. She's still dancing around it.

To summarize: either low levels of understanding of what she's feeling or some kind of repression, and involuntary use of words (meaning just about anything can come out)

"Nobody needs to keep a bunch of memories that aren't real, right?"

Oh, Namine. So we all agree this is a bit passive-aggressive, right? But also, I think, a bit genuine.

She is very aware that she caused this situation, and that she hurt Sora first. She's trying to acknowledge that she understands, but... she just can't help giving it a passive-aggressive edge.

Namine is all about repression (and also self-loathing, but that's not this conversation). She basically spends her entire life in a cage, having to make herself small. If we extrapolate even further, she probably spends a lot of time in her head thinking about her own situation and maybe even her feelings. That awareness could even be seen as a survival skill, in her situation.

She knows she did wrong and she knows she's upset. She tries to prioritize one over the other - but unsuccessfully.

So what we get with Namine is high awareness of her feeling, and an attempt to use her words constructively, but her control slips and some involuntary messaging slips through.

"So, do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

Xion uses her works like knives, seriously. There's a hint of this in her "Or what? They'll turn me into a dusk?" line with Axel, but I thought I'd use this quote instead.

I think I maybe mentioned this in another post somewhere, but in conflict Xion has a conversational pattern that goes "soft soft soft GOES FOR YOUR THROAT" that shows up multiple times throughout Days.

So, set-up for this conversation. Xion is suddenly getting a lot of answers and thus processing a lot of information, a lot of which I think confirms her own brand of self-loathing.

But what she turns around and says is not about her feelings (... on the surface, we'll get around to that), it's about provoking the other person.

It would be entirely understandable for Riku to be upset wither her, which would possibly stand as a threat, and she tries to confront that head on to get a reaction out of him.

She has enough awareness to know what she wants, and that she's feeling cornered, but the exact phrasing she used is interesting considering her situation:

Do you hate me for taking your friend away?

Because before she got these answers, what she already knew was that she could end up hurting Roxas. Realistically, this could be a question she'd want to ask Axel:

Will you hate me if I take our friend away.

And I do think she knows that's what she's afraid of, deep down, but she's too scared to actually ask (keeps running away). What I don't think she's aware of is that she's using Riku as a proxy, here. I think she's just trying to control the conversation.

So, with Xion we have: mixed levels of emotional awareness, but high control of her use of words.

Maybe it doesn't mean much, but I find it interesting. They all will say the most insane things under pressure, but it comes out in very different ways, with very different intent.

Kairi, who will avoid till things get too much then blurt things out involuntarily, then try to take it back.

Namine, who will try to control the narrative but can't stop keep the edge of passive-aggressiveness out.

Xion, who would rather go on the attack before you can hurt her first.

[sweetcreaturetm]

Maybe I’m reading too much suits fic but what if Steve had an eidetic memory after getting hit in the head so much. Like yes he has hearing loss but it clicked something in his brain and now he can remember like everything. But he hides it cause he doesn’t want people to bug him about it so he pretends to still be dumb but in reality he’s like super smart.

Robin figured it out at the video store at first she’s sneaky trying to test him with where videos are and stuff and then she confronts him and is like?? Wtf? And he’s like please don’t say anything to the kids I can’t deal with that.

And Eddie finds out cause they’re having a movie date night and he hears Steve muttering the lines of the movie. They’re rewatching some movie Steve said he’d watched once at the store and thought Eddie would like. So Eddie watches him quote the entire movie and he’s like “why do you let people think you’re stupid”

Steve freezes. “What do you mean?”

“You said you saw that movie once at the video store and you know every word, babe.”

“I just really liked it…?” He tries to play it off.

Eddie just gives him a don’t even try look.

“Okay,” he relents “I have this weird memory I don’t even know how to explain it but I don’t forget stuff anymore. Ever since the Russians. I guess when you get your head beat in enough you can get some pretty interesting results.”

“Baby, you’re like a genius why didn’t you say?”

“Because how do you explain going from barely passing high school and not even getting into college to being some freaky smart guy?”

“Okay I guess that makes sense. But why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie asks a little sadly.

“Eds, it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you but I was scared you would think it’s weird or something or maybe it will go away and then I’ll be back to being dumb then what will I do. You’d get bored or something” Steve is getting emotional he didn’t want to keep it from Eddie but he was just scared.

Eddie reaches out to him and grabs his face in his hands and peppers his face with kisses between sweet names “baby,” kiss “sugar” kiss “sweetheart” kiss he leans back to look in Steve’s eyes “I will never get bored of you and you were never dumb. If anything I’m the dumb one it only took me 3 years and an apocalypse to graduate.”

“Eddie no-“ steve starts but gets interrupted.

“See the way you feel about me talking about my own shit is the way I feel when you call yourself stupid. Or when you let the kids do it. I fucking hate that shit, baby. You can’t let them do that anymore okay?”

Steve nods. “I don’t think I’m gonna tell them really yet especially since I don’t even truly understand it but I’m gonna stop dumbing myself down. I promise.”

“Good. I’m so proud of you. Crazy memory or not. I also may love you a little” Eddie says while making a bringing his thumb and finger a short distance apart.

“Just a little?” Steve giggles.

“Maybe more than a little” Eddie says kissing him.

“I’m gonna remember that” Steve says catching his breath.

“I’m countin’ on it babe”

“I love you too Eddie”