#anyway i love matt and trey

[supercreig]

Although Craig is voiced by Matt Stone, honestly with how I've been writing Craig, I can't help but imagine his voice giving Dylan Sprouse/Yozora vibes????

[lesliemeyers]

hehe <- once again using matt & trey as refs for painting stan & kyle

[remerg]

Not him shutting Trey's mouth. Now being serious, I just love the way he just shuts him with his hand and then says how Kathie Lee Gifford is an "amazing woman"

I love these guys

[thelovelybitten]

what are the odds i submit stendy fanfictions (change their names to not expose myself) for all my creative writing assignments

[shpadoinkle-day]

[adidastain]

just like heaven

college matt stone x fem reader

warnings: smut (vaginal penetration)

notes: first person perspective (I, me, my, etc.), i really wanted to write something fluffy and kinda vanilla so sorry if it’s boring but i love it a lot i think it’s sweet

word count: 5240

—

Nothing was more relieving than getting in bed after a long day of classes and running errands. I’d been busting my ass the entire day, making sure everyone around me was happy and calm. It was what I did best, to be completely honest. I liked taking over. Sure, it made me kind of a bad collaborator, but I preferred to stay positive and think of it as one of my best qualities. Productive, stern, and leaderly. 

One of my classmates had a dorm to himself and had been letting me stay there for a while, since I lived off campus on paper, but didn’t have a car. We both majored in film; he double majored in math as well, and I was minoring in psychology. 

He was cool and funny. Sometimes he’d even say stuff that earned him a clock to the jaw, but regardless, I thought he was funny. And smart. He double majored; of course he was smart.

I sighed heavily, opening the heavy steel door to his dorm, labeled ‘MATT’ with a cute paper cutout of a kid wearing a ushanka and glasses showing a peace sign. It made me smile every time I saw it. His mind was so interesting.

To my surprise, the lights were on inside. He’d told me he was going to a little party in our other classmate’s building a few blocks away, so I didn’t think he’d be home.

“Oh, you’re here,” I said, taking my jacket off. 

“Unfortunately,” he said, grinning. His voice was deep and slightly nasally as always, with just a hint of raspiness. He sounded really tired. 

“What happened? I thought you were going to Trey’s party,” I said softly. I looked in the mirror on the back of the door, removing my hair clip and earrings. I didn’t want to waste any time getting to bed. 

“I just…” Matt swallowed, shifting in his seat in the beanbag on the floor. “I dunno. I changed my mind. Kinda exhausted.”

“I hear that,” I laughed, raising my eyebrows. There was some sort of old comedy movie on the little TV next to Matt’s bed. His whole dresser was covered in empty cans, dirty shot glasses with sticky syrup at the bottom, wrappers, deodorant, shit like that. I guess someone had been over and Matt was too tired to clean up the mess. “I’m gonna change real quick, don’t look.”

“Aw man,” he said, teasing me. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him, pulling my sweater and tank top over my head all at once. I’d been wearing a sports bra all day and the elastic was starting to dig into my skin. I looked behind me, just to make sure he wasn’t trying to sneak any glances. Not that there was much to see. 

Lo and behold, as soon as I turned my head, I caught his turning too, back towards the TV. 

I grabbed a discarded T-shirt off the floor and swung it at him, hitting him a lot more violently than I really intended to. “You are such a pervert!” I laughed.

“I wasn’t trying to look at you!” he shrieked. I hit him again. “I thought I heard someone at the door!”

“A pervert and a liar!” I accused. Matt stood up, trying to defend himself from my wrath as I exacted my revenge. He yelped and grabbed my wrists, pushing back against me. 

We play-fought like this often. He was a lot stronger than me. He may not have looked like it, being so slim, but he was fit underneath all that fabric he was drowning in. Especially his arms. We’d go on and on, until it felt awkward and drawn out. 

Of course, by doing this, I’d ended up giving him a free show anyway. He’d definitely seen me changing before. Matt had walked in on me on several occasions, but it was mostly my fault, since I would come and go in his dorm without saying anything. He didn’t seem to have a problem, though. 

I bit my lip, pushing against his weight with all my might. He pretty much towered over me and my hands were engulfed in his large ones. He probably wasn’t even using half of his strength on me. 

Suddenly, he let go of my hands, causing me to fall forward slightly. I lost my balance until I felt his arms wrap tightly around my torso, before he lifted me up and pushed me onto his bed and walked away. 

He giggled to himself as he stepped towards his little mini refrigerator to grab a can of soda. I felt slightly warm inside; something about the way he was able to just lift me up and throw me down so easily made my face burn up. 

Of course, Matt acted like it was nothing and sat back down in his beanbag, one of his hands idly rubbing the fuzzy fabric cover with his thumb and index finger. 

I scoffed loudly and stood back up, blocking his view of the TV. My hand politely took the soda can out of his hand, watching his eyes follow it as I brought it to my lips and took a long, long sip. He just stared up at me, but he didn’t look in any way offended. He just looked completely awestruck, a puppy-eyed look ever present in his face. 

I put the soda down on the dresser so that he’d have to get up to get it, and went back to changing. I faced the TV so I could keep a hawk’s eye on him as I peeled off my jeans, rendering me in just my bra and panties which didn’t match at all. 

I heard him grunt slightly as he stood up to grab his soda off of the dresser. He turned around to face me, until he stopped dead in his tracks and his smirk was wiped clean off his face. 

After a second or two of him taking in as much of the sight as he could, his hand flew over his eyes. 

“Sorry,” he whined. “I was gonna play a prank on you. Didn’t know you were changing again. ‘M sorry.” 

“I don’t care, Matt,” I sighed in defeat. “I practically live here now. You were gonna see me half-naked at some point anyhow.”

Hesitantly, he lowered his hand, keeping his gaze on the floor. It was strange; he didn’t sit back down. 

“Just don’t let me find any of my clothes in your bed or I’ll punch you hard enough to turn your teeth into bullets,” I said. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, focusing on my task at hand once more. I dug through my big duffel bag to look for a clean shirt to sleep in, only finding a bunch of dress clothes that I hadn’t yet needed to wear. Right. I sighed. They’re in the wash. 

“Could I borrow a shirt?” I asked. Matt was sitting once more, rubbing the back of his neck and gently tugging on some of his curls. 

“Mhm,” he hummed, glancing at me again. That ‘glance’ turned into more of a ‘good look’. My back was turned to him again and I pretty much had my ass on full display. 

I don’t know when he looked away. I don’t actually know if he looked away at all. I just dug through his closet, trying to find the biggest T-shirt he had. 

It wasn’t uncommon for me to borrow his clothes. My duffel bag had initially only had enough clothes for 2 weeks, so I did laundry quite often and sometimes had to wear the same pants multiple days in a row. When I felt extra lazy and put off doing laundry, he let me borrow shirts, hoodies, sweatpants, pajama pants, the whole shabang. 

I picked out one of his Primus tees that had some fucked up linework drawing of a prostitute smoking a hooka. It was a sick shirt but it definitely wasn’t something you could wear to class. 

It fit me like a dress, which I loved. It was big enough that the hem covered most of my ass, which was good, because I didn’t have any clean shorts to sleep in unless I stole a pair of his. 

Lastly, I pulled my bra off from under my shirt and tossed it towards the door, where I threw most of my dirty clothes. Once I was finished, I turned back around and stood next to where Matt was sitting. 

“Scoot over,” I said. He quickly obliged. It was a pretty big beanbag, so we could both fit as long as we were shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip. I must admit that there had been a night or two where we would end up entangled in some way due to the lack of space. My legs in his lap, my head on his shoulder, his arm resting up behind me. 

There was nothing I didn’t like about being close to him. He made me feel safe and he smell good and was warm. Some nights I hoped he’d be in the mood for having me real close. I hoped really hard now, especially after what just happened. 

“What are we watching?” I asked, making myself nice and comfortable and curling up next to him. 

“Groundhog Day,” he said, tilting his head back slightly so he could speak through the soda in his mouth. I looked at him for a moment, watching the muscles in his neck move as he swallowed the liquid. Then I turned my attention to the screen. “You missed the beginning, but basically he’s stuck living the same day over and over again. It’s like, a big allegory or whatever for Buddhism. Pretty good, though”

I nodded, watching as the Bill Murray character talked to a woman and asked her out on a date. A few seconds later, there was a smash cut to them on the verge of having sex. Matt awkwardly laughed next to me.

“Ah, yeah. Buddhism,” I said, mocking him. 

“You’ll like it. It gets better,” he argued. That’s when I felt his arm snake behind me, just a few inches away from laying across my shoulder. Once again, he rubbed the fabric between his fingers, fidgeting. 

Eventually the whole foreplay bit was over and the next scene started. My body subconsciously leaned into Matt’s, sinking my weight into his slim torso and absorbing the warmth that his body generated. I was both extremely comfortable and extremely exhausted. 

The movie went on, and like Matt said, the character was living the same day over and over. It was kind of lulling me to sleep. It was definitely pretty funny; occasionally I would jerk awake at the sound of Matt chuckling softly. I think at some point he pulled a blanket off his bed and wrapped it around me. I swear he ran his hand through my hair for just a moment, pulling me closer to him. 

Now his arm was wrapped around my shoulder, his hand occasionally lifting up to run his fingers through my hair or flatten any stray strands. It felt safe; it felt right. 

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, finding that his gaze was already on me. He looked like a deer in headlights, but exhausted at the same time. I watched Matt’s eyes dart around my face. 

“You ready for bed?” he asked softly, looking at the top of my head as he fixed a strand of my hair. 

One of my favorite parts about him was that he could be harsh and gentle, depending on the occasion. He always had a resting bitch face and was kind of intimidating to a lot of people, but he had such a soft, gentle side to him. 

My hand made its way up to his cheek. Matt had a nice, soft layer of peach fuzz that, paired with the warmth of his face, made my heart beat faster. My thumb tenderly traced back and forth on his cheek bone while my eyes fixated on his lips. 

Eventually, I felt his breath on my face as he closed his lips over my bottom one. I’d been biting the skin off of it all week, so there was a small stinging sensation that quickly faded once he kissed me again. 

I felt so shy all the sudden. Here I was, curled up in his arms, softly making out with him like teenagers with no experience. No second guesses or hesitations, just hearts beating together, breaths melting into each other while we explored. 

How did we get here? The question crossed my mind before I immediately pushed it away. I didn’t give a shit about how we got there, I was just glad that this is where we ended up. 

Without pulling his lips away from me, Matt somehow managed to find the remote and turn off the TV, before caressing my waist and pulling me ever closer. He was hovering over me a little, only making my heart race faster and my desire for him grow stronger. 

Now things were definitely starting to heat up. Matt softly groaned into my mouth, and for the first time since our lips first met, we pulled away. 

His eyes bored into mine, pupils dilated. We sat breathing into each others mouths, catching our breath as we tried to read what the other was thinking. It was almost suspenseful. 

“Can I take your shirt off?” I asked. It wasn’t even a whisper. Nope. I just breathed and moved my mouth to form the words. 

“Uh-huh,” he responded, nodding. He swallowed and I didn’t hesitate to tuck my hands under the hem of his baggy gray-green T-shirt. Matt kissed me again, deepening it. 

In an instant, his lips parted and he gasped softly as soon as my fingertips made contact with the warm skin of his abdomen. I could feel that part of his torso shifting ever so slightly as he breathed. 

I pulled away, making sure to keep eye contact with him while I slowly lifted his shirt up inch by inch. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” he exhaled, catching me off guard. I swallowed, feeling my face flush once again. 

A second or two later, I pulled the fabric over his head, finally rendering him topless in front of me. He had a slender, curvy waist and just the smallest little bit of muscle in his abdomen. His hips were prominent, and his upper body was very broad in contrast to his slim frame. He had little dark beauty spot freckles scattered across his shoulders and body. I would love to sit there all day and just count them. I wanted badly to just map out and explore his body, feeling every inch of his skin and memorizing his shape. 

I snapped out of my trance as soon as he kissed me again, letting out several vocal breaths that I honestly didn’t expect to ever hear him make. He remained gentle in his kisses, but I felt the desire boiling and festering within both of us. It was extremely hard to ignore. 

“Do you wanna stop?” I asked, pulling away suddenly. 

“Do you wanna stop?” he repeated, his voice somewhat nervous. Matt swallowed and scanned my face. 

“No,” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking one of his curls between my fingers. 

Matt licked his lips. I could feel his whole body relax, and he leaned closer, ghosting his lips against mine. 

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” he asked shyly, staring down at my lips. My stomach flipped and felt a strong jumping-like feeling in between my legs. 

“I would like that a lot,” I answered, giggling wide eyes. I was so flustered that I was to the point where I laughed at myself. 

“Fuck yeah,” he laughed, out of breath. Matt leaned in to kiss me again, this time opening his mouth slightly wider. “Should we go up there?” 

He tilted his head towards the bed next us, and I nodded, wrapping my legs around his torso so he could pick me up.

“Mmh… c’mere baby,” he hummed softly, pressing my body against his as he lifted me up and tenderly laid me down beneath him on his bed. 

Matt suddenly felt so much bigger than me now that his body was hovering over me. He was straddling my hips, both of his large hands massaging my waist under my (his) shirt while he started leaving wet kisses down my neck. 

I arched my back at the feeling of his teeth as they pinched a small spot below my ear, his tongue coming quickly to the rescue to warm up the spot and relieve the pain. My hands were entangled in his soft, somewhat messy curls, caressing his entire head and holding it close to me. I stared at the ceiling, letting my eyes flutter shut any time I heard him groan and felt his hips subtly buck above me. 

“How about your shirt, baby?” he asked, nibbling on my ear. I could hear him breathing heavily through his nose, each warm exhale covering my ear and neck. One of his hands slid up my body and grazed the underside crease of my boobs with his fingertips. 

“You mean your shirt,” I giggled, rubbing his warm shoulders.

“Okay, my shirt,” he scoffed. “Can I take it off?”

I nodded, sitting up slightly. As soon as his hands lifted the fabric up and over my nipples, I panicked slightly. In no time the shirt was on the floor and Matt’s eyes were tentatively glued to my bare chest.  

“Oh, baby, I’m gonna fuck you so good…” he mumbled, prying his eyes away from my now nearly naked body. His hands squeezed my hips, lifting them up so he could start grinding against me. 

“Matt-“ I gasped. His hot mouth almost immediately attached to my collarbone, his tongue pressing flat against the skin. Meanwhile, I shivered as one of his hands slowly dragged up my waist and tenderly caressed one of my tits. And on top of that, for the first time, I could feel the tent he’d been pitching press into me as he started grinding against my hips with desperation. 

I ran my fingers through his hair and lifted my hips up, supported by my heels digging into the soft covers below me. My hands slid down over his shoulder blades, tracing each muscle as I moved them towards my panties. Finally, I managed to wriggle out of them and fling them onto the floor while Matt was sitting on his knees, towering over me. His broad chest moved in and out with each heavy breath he took with his lips slightly agape. 

He looked like one of those ancient Greek statues. Each muscle so defined under such smooth, warm skin. Natural posture so relaxed and almost ethereal. I wanted to devour him. 

Matt stared at me, the look in his eyes almost anxious but infinitely flustered and filled with lust. In a flash he yanked his flannel pajama pants down to his knees, kicking them off while he crawled on top of me again.!

“Do you like it fast or hard?” he asked me, his voice faltering slightly. He swallowed, looking down at me from above. Matt’s arms were on either side of me, propping his body up as he then got ready to start pulling his boxers off. 

“Fast,” I exhaled, though it really sounded more like a moan. Even subconsciously I wanted him to know that right now, I wanted him more than anything. 

“‘Course, baby,” he hummed softly, bending his arms like he was doing a pushup so he could peck my lips. I felt him smiling in the kiss. “Do you wanna… get me going?” 

He gestured towards his boxers and the hot, throbbing erection beneath them. Without hesitation, I spit in my palm and slipped my fingers under the waistband of his boxers, first untucking his cock from the side and then gently wrapping my hand around it. 

Matt immediately whimpered, holding in as much of it as he could while screwing his eyes shut. He felt so warm in my hand… and thick. I could feel a vein or two protruding from the soft skin and made sure to pay a little extra attention to them. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, letting his head drop down so he could see what wonders I was working with my hand. He shimmied out of his boxers and now I could see that yes, he was in fact thick. Most definitely thicker than I knew I was used to. 

I knew it was going to hurt like a bitch. It was intimidating, but still, as I tenderly stroked up and down his length, I only kept thinking of it as something that was making him feel insanely good and not as something that was going to hurt me. It would only hurt for a few seconds. 

His breath hitched and he practically threw my hand off him, sitting up again to catch his breath for a moment. 

“Jesus Christ,” he laughed, out of breath. Matt raised his eyebrows and smiled. His cheeks were so flushed and it looked like some sweat pearls had begun forming at his temples. 

I laid back, watching his muscles shift and flex as he took his glasses off and reached inside one of his dresser drawers for a condom. 

As he tore open the package, he looked at me, seemingly getting lost in the sight of me. 

I grabbed the hand of his that held the unopened condom and brought it close to my face so that I could kiss it. Then I pushed his hand back towards him so he could do the same, though he looked thoroughly confused.

“What, is that good luck or something?” he chuckled, looking down at his hands and dick as he opened the condom and slid it onto his length.

“It’s tradition,” I said, shrugging. Matt furrowed his eyebrows. 

“What tradition?” he scoffed, crawling on top of me. 

“Messing with you. I made it up,” I grinned. 

He shook his head, adjusting his position and posture while handling his cock, making sure it would slide in easy. 

Matt looked up at me through his eyebrows. It was the last look of reassurance before anything was really about to happen. Our lives were about to change forever. 

I nodded. I was so desperate for him at this point, I didn’t care if he hurt me at all. 

His large hand spread out on one side of my hips, digging into the flesh ever so slightly and likely leaving faint nail marks in my skin. I kept my eyes on him and found him instructing me to take a deep breath in with him. Before he told me to exhale though, he started pushing in. 

“Hmmn- ahh!” I half-moaned, half-winced. 

“Shh… oh, fuck,” Matt whispered in my ear, letting out a deep moan that’s he’s probably kept inside for a little while. 

I let out a groan of discomfort, trying my best to hold it in but ultimately failing. In response, Matt pulled his lips away from my ear so he could get a good look at my face.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, swallowing. 

“Mhm,” I hummed, biting my lip. I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the feeling of Matt’s fingertips brushing my hair out of my face. “Just give me a minute.” 

Matt lowered himself on top of me, beginning to pepper soft, wet kisses on my jaw and neck. His hand massaged my hip and occasionally inched lower to squeeze the soft flesh of my upper thigh. 

I kissed him and became lost in his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him close to me. His curls tickled my forehead as we kissed softly. I’d completely forgotten about the fact the he was inside of me; I was so focused on how his lips felt and the fact that I could feel his heart pounding with his chest pressed against mine. Our skin grazed together softly with each breath we took, giving me goosebumps. 

“You can start now,” I whispered against his lips. Matt hummed in response, kissing me a little bit deeper as he adjusted the position of his body. 

We remained with our lips attached as his hips started to roll back and forth. I could hear Matt whimper every couple of seconds and he kept holding his breath, pulling away from the kiss to exhale into my mouth. The warmth in the pit of my stomach really started to boil up once he started moving, slowly drawing himself out and thrusting back in. I listened carefully to each little sound and breath he made as he moved. 

I heard him heavily exhale after swallowing. “S’good…” he whispered, grunting slightly. I moaned, running my fingers in his hair and tugging on it gently. 

A loud groan escaped his throat as I did this, encouraging me to do it again. One of his hands suddenly wrapped tenderly around my throat, carefully squeezing my neck. Matt’s head cocked to the side as he opened his mouth and slid his tongue in between my lips. 

I let out a soft moan as his tongue slid against mine, exploring the inside of my mouth with hunger and desperation. I let my hands travel from his head and neck down to his body, caressing his waist and pulling him into me. Matt’s hand left my hip, instead moving up to grip the top of the headboard of his bed, holding it to keep it from knocking against the wall each time we moved. 

He leaned down to let his forehead rest against mine, staring into my eyes. I stared right back. I’d never seen him without his round silver glasses before, but I knew he had a stunning set of dark green eyes and now I could see each little spec of blue in them as they darted around my face, almost nervously. 

His free hand moved to cup one of my tits, rolling his fingers over my nipple to tease the sensitive area. I gasped slightly, arching my back. 

“You have no idea how perfect you look right now,” he exhaled. 

I couldn’t do or say anything else but smile. I always had that reaction when he complimented me, but I was much more used to him saying something about my clothes or my work. His voice always sounded so deep and smooth; to hear him say my name or something nice about how I looked always sent my blood rushing to my cheeks.

“I’m close,” I whispered, touching his chest. 

“Faster?” he hummed. 

“Yeah,” I laughed slightly. 

Before moving again, he adjusted his position, letting go of the headboard. He propped himself up and licked the thumb of his free hand, before lowering it and using it to massage slow circles around my clit. Matt’s body was hovering above me when he bowed his head to start kissing the crook of my neck. Only then did he start thrusting once more, rolling his hips faster and faster. 

The new sensation along with the added pleasure of his fingers working my clit had me in shambles. I threw my head back and let out a loud moan, succumbing to the electrifying, hot sensation that festered throughout my entire body. The pit of my stomach tightened, my legs trembled, my hands gripped anything they could touch. I dig my fingertips into the sheets, his back and shoulders, his biceps, his waist, his scalp. Several times did I pull on his hair like I was holding on for dear life, earning a groan from him each time. I just hoped I wasn’t hurting him. 

Matt let out a loud moan. I opened my eyes to see him struggling to thrust at a consistent pace, faltering every few seconds with his eyes screwed shut and his mouth agape. I watched him look down to see himself pumping in and out of me, his eyebrows furrowed and bottom lip tucked under his front teeth. 

He whimpered, trying his best to hold his breath. The sight of him rushing toward his own orgasm sent me over the edge. I cried out his name, gasping as every muscle in my body tensed up. The knot in my stomach came undone and I could feel my blood pumping through my body. 

Only a moment or two later did Matt’s body shudder and tense up. His muscles flexed as he leaned forward and tried his hardest to keep his hips moving, but he was ultimately overcome by his orgasm as he came, my name spilling from his mouth in the most beautiful way. 

I huffed, my body melting into his bed as my legs twitched and trembled. Matt collapsed on top of me, allowing his entire weight to sink into me. His arms were shaking, as if he were shivering. We both laid there for a minute, absorbing each other as we caught our breath. 

I think he fell asleep after a minute or two. He was completely relaxed on top of me like a big bag of sand. After a little while, my breaths became forceful, so I had to wake him up.

“Matt,” I hummed, tucking a strand of his hair behind my ear. 

He wasn’t sleeping. Matt lifted himself up, smiling down at me. He kissed me, seeming quite shy all the sudden as he had to hold his weight up while he leaned his head down towards me. 

“Sorry about these bruises,” he hummed, tracing a circle on the side of my neck.

“You’re not sorry,” I grinned, teasing him. 

“I’m not,” he admitted sheepishly. “They look good on you.” 

After a few seconds, we sat up and helped clean each other up a little. I could see small red marks in his skin from where my nails dug into his arms and shoulders. While helping each other get dressed again, Matt and I found ourselves a little distracted once more, kissing each other gently and softly as we pulled shirts over our heads. His lips were like air. I almost needed them to breathe. 

“Do you wanna finish the movie?” I asked him, massaging his waist underneath his shirt. 

“Sure,” he giggled softly. 

With that, we snuggled up under the covers in his bed, turning the TV towards us. Matt had me in his arms with my back pressed to his chest and his hand under my shirt, tracing shapes on my skin. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep. 

However, at one point, I opened my eyes to find that the TV and lights were off, rendering the room completely dark. Matt was no longer next to me, but it wasn’t long before he came back over to the bed and laid down behind me. His lips softly grazed the crook of my neck. “Good night,” he whispered, before kissing my neck one more time. 

“Mm… night,” I mumbled, barely awake. Matt pulled his thick pile of blankets over my shoulder, peppering small pecks of kisses on my neck as I drifted off once again, melting in his warmth. 

[drownedinlavender]

Eric is a character. He is a work of fiction. All of these characters that we know and love and fawn over are just that, characters, they're make believe.

I understand being uncomfortable by the hate speech, that's one thing, but I see people actually hating him like he personally killed their parents and made them into chilly. Matt and Trey write him as a bigot because someone has to be in order to write the story they're trying to tell, in order to get the point across they're trying to make. Someone HAS to be the villain. And when he's extremely anti semetic, xenophobic, racist, he loses because that's the message. Bigots lose. Bigots are a joke.

Matt and Trey stated in an interview that Eric is the product of his surroundings and as someone that grew up in a middle of nowhere town in Wisconsin, there were a lot of kids that shared many similarities with Cartman. They were racist, xenophobic, and just straight up mean. Many of which told me my family and I should go back to Mexico where I belonged. But they also all came from broken homes. A lot of them were simply attention starved, neglected children internalizing the problems of the adults around them. And looking back now, I don't hold any ounce of contemp or negative emotion towards those children, my heart goes out to them. They didn't have anyone that cared enough about them to correct their behavior. Any kind of attention, including negative, was better than none due to how neglectful their gaurdiens were.

This isn't me arguing why people that hate Cartman should love him, or hold pity for him. On the contrary, I hate to argue lol. This is only me divulging my thoughts on a character I personally think is written with a lot of dimension and depth. I like the idea of Eric as a character. A 10 year old child overly spoiled by his crack addicted, sex worker mother who is lonely and isolated to the point of only relying on her child for friendship so she treats him more like a friend than a child thus creating a spoiled, deeply insecure, self centered, bigoted asshole of a kid. His mother, along with most of the adults around him, failed him and now he's making it everyone's problem. His childhood is like a joker origin story lol how wild

Anyway, that is all :'D

[telekineticseance]

inspired by mattsdae’s latest fic that Awoke something in me could you write coop (or trey) that while fucking just feels readers belly to feel how deep they are and just being fucked out of his own mind 🤭🤪 pls and thank ily

NEVER AGAIN

pairing: trey parker x f! reader

summary: trey catches you flirting with a guy at the bar and when you two get home he finds out why

genre: smut

word count: 3164

cw: biting, meandom!trey, dom(m)/sub(f), degradation, fingering(f!receiving), unprotected p in v intercourse, rough sex, age gap relationship, bondage, jealousy, oral (f!receiving), borderline bdsm

author's note: very much 18+ mdni or i will fight every single one of you followed by a block. anyways ENJOY!!!

You had been with your boyfriend Trey for a little over 3 years and as much as you loved him, at times you felt bored. He was what some people tend to call “old fashioned” or maybe a gentleman. You did love him though. The way he made you laugh, the way he held you at night when he came home from work, when he’d surprise you with a gift every now and then. It seemed like he loved you too. So if all that, why were you sitting at a bar letting a guy flirt with you while Trey was away in the bathroom.

The two of you went out to a bar for Matt’s birthday with a few other people and while everyone was getting hammered, you and Trey opted for the more sober experience.

“So did you come alone?” The strange guy asked, resting his hand on your knee. You shuddered under his touch while shaking your head, “No I’m with a few friends.” You explained, sipping on the cranberry juice sitting on the bar. The guy gave you a small smirk, caressing your leg and stroking it gently. You looked down at your hand, knowing you should push it away but enjoying the touch. When you saw Trey slip through the crowd you cleared your throat, moving the man’s hand away causing him to let out a scoff.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, moving closer and draping his arm around your shoulders. You tried shaking it off before hearing Trey’s voice break through the sound of the loud music and bustling crowd. “You should probably let her go.”

The guy’s arm pulled away from your shoulders as he turned around, looking up at Trey. The guy seemed to be only a few inches taller than you, but definitely a few inches shorter than Trey as he practically towered over him. Trey’s face was stern and his eyes were dark, “And you are?” The guy asked, crossing his arms over his chest seeming like he was trying to be taller than he actually was. Trey let out a slight chuckle, “I’m her boyfriend.”

The guy scanned Trey’s figure and let out almost a belly laugh, “There’s no way she’s with an old man like you.” He rolled his eyes, letting out a scoff before clenching his fist at his side, “It’s none of your business if she is or not. Come on Y/N.” He used his unclenched hand to motion for you to come to his side.

You obeyed almost immediately, walking to his side as he used the same hand to inlace his fingers with yours. The guy reached out and pulled you away from Trey’s gasp causing Trey to quickly turn around and collide his clenched fist to the guy’s face. The guy flailed back, his back hitting the bar as he quickly brushed off the punch and lunged at Trey. You watched the two start throwing punches at each other before you saw Matt’s tall figure come running through the crowd of people and pulling the guy away from Trey, hitting him in the process.

Eventually, a security guard for the bar walked over and grabbed Trey and Matt both by the necks of their shirts, while another one grabbed the other guy, holding all three of them apart. You watched in shock as Trey fought against the guard, trying to continue to fight the random guy. “That slut was asking for it!” He screamed at Trey, blood dripping from his mouth. Trey looked at you before looking back at the guy, the rage still showing in his eyes.

You looked down avoiding eye contact from him, the man wasn’t right but he definitely wasn’t wrong and you knew it. When you looked back Trey was looking at you, his face had softened a little but you could still tell he was upset. The security guards dragged out the three of them and you grabbed your purse before following closely behind the group. The guard dragged the guy away, keeping a close eye on them, “Now you four need to leave and not come back.”

You watched as Matt and Trey walked away together, Matt trying to hype Trey back up while Trey apologized for ruining Matt’s party, “No fuck that guy! He ruined it, not you. Shouldn’t have been filling your girl up like that.” Matt patted Trey's back as they walked together, you following behind. Trey glanced back giving a small scoff, “Yeah he shouldn’t have.”

When the three of you arrived back to where you all had parked, Matt said his farewells, claiming he was sober enough to drive before getting in his car and leaving. Trey looked back at you before motioning to his own car and then climbing in. You got in the passenger side before Trey started driving, the car ride home silent.

Once the two of you arrived at your shared home with Trey, he climbed out of the car, not waiting on you before he unlocked the door and went inside. You let out a sigh, locking the door as you got out, following him into the house. It wasn’t super fancy but it was home, you insisted on a rental home even though Trey insisted on buying a home for the two of you to live in. You told him you wanted to wait until marriage before buying and he understood before you two found a home you really liked.

You walked through the door, seeing the lights on scattered throughout the house. You sighed walking up the stairs to the bedroom, seeing Trey sitting on the bed with his head in hands. You walked over, gently resting your hand on his shoulder as he flinched, pulling away from your touch. “Trey..” You started but he quickly shushed you, “What did he mean by you asked for it? Hm?” You shook your head, sitting down next to him. “It’s not what it sounds like.”

“Then what was it? Because what I saw was you not pushing him away in the first place.” He said, rising up from the bed, his height towering over you. You looked up at him taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry okay? I just…I thought maybe I could feed this need I have. You don’t give me anything to work with Trey. It’s just the same thing over and over again.” You confessed. His face dropped and his lips tightened, “So letting some guy touch you instead of talking to me was the way to go?”

You felt the guilt hit you, letting out a sigh, “It wasn’t going to be anymore than that. I promise. I just..I need more Trey.” He looked down at you, walking closer, “What more do you want?” He took your chin in his hand, making you look at him. “Hm?”

You shook your head, “I-I don’t know.” He rolled his eyes before returning his gaze back down at you, “Want me to fuck you? Treat you like the slut you are.” He mumbled, his eyes darkened with every word. You felt your throat dry as he spoke, this new side of Trey His fingers tightened the grip on your chin as he leaned down to your ear, “Is that what you want?”

You nodded against his grip as he chuckled against your ear, “Well too bad.” He forcefully pushed against you, causing your back to lay against the bed. You looked up at him, seeing him pull off his shirt. “Take off your clothes.” He commanded, motioning to your clothes. You started to do so as your heartbeat quickened while he walked over to a drawer, pulling out two of his ties, watching him walk back to the bed. He wrapped the ties around your wrists and ankles, making it to where each wrist was attached to an ankle. “This is what you want right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Mmhmm.” You hummed out, he smirked in response, looking down at your nude body. He ran his fingers across your skin, the coldness causing you to jump slightly in reaction. Another chuckle left him as he leaned down over you, leaving wet kisses down your torso. A shiver was sent down your spine with every lingering kiss he left, inching closer to your lower half. He leaned up to your ear, his voice having a lighter tone than before, “I wanna make you happy. But if I go too far tell me okay?” You nodded before he went back to leaving the trail of kisses.

You felt your core start to throb and grow more wet with every move Trey made. He pulled away, flipping you over onto your stomach so your legs were propped up in the air from being tied to your wrists. One of his hands rested on your lower back, just above your ass as he used his other hand to stroke along your slit. You gasped trying to arch against his touch but his hand continued to force you against the mattress. He tsked at you as you tried to move, his fingers tapping lightly on your back as he continued rubbing his fingers along your slit causing you to squirm under his touch..

“I didn’t say you could move.” He told you, pressing you further into the mattress. Your face pressed against the mattress as a shiver went down your spine, feeling his hand start rubbing at your clit. He thrusted his fingers in, curling them as he did. You fought back the urge to move with his touch letting out a moan against the bed. “Can’t believe an old man like me can get you heated like this.” He chuckled as he continued pumping his fingers, letting out a groan as you flexed yourself around the fingers.

You closed your eyes tightly, as you felt your stomach tighten, continuing to flex your walls around his fingers. When you let out another moan, Trey eased his fingers out slowly. You glanced back and watched him, wondering why he stopped, “W-Why did yo-” He cut you off as you spoke, “Stay quiet. Until I tell you to.”

Your mouth hung open, shocked from this new side of Trey. He rolled his eyes before reaching his hand up, closing your mouth. He took the ties off your ankles and wrists, “Flip over. On your back.” 

Obeying him, you flipped back to your back as he continued holding the ties, you could practically see the gears turn in his head as he bit his bottom lip while letting his eyes scan you. He walked up your body, wrapping the tie around your face, covering your eyes. Your heart started to race once your vision went black, unsure of what would happen next.

The feeling of Trey’s fingers along your cheek caused you to jump slightly. He ran his hand down before they found your breasts, taking them in your hands and massaging them, flicking at your nub in the process. You let a moan escape past your lips, suddenly feeling his mouth come into contact with your skin. His hand continued to massage your breasts as he licked his tongue through the valley between them. The bed sank in as he climbed on top of you, his mouth moving onto one of your nipples as he bit down causing you to let out a gasp.

You tried looking under the tie but it was no use, he made sure to tie it tight so you couldn’t see anything around you. You whined as he pulled away from you, his hands gripping onto your hips, “What’s wrong?” He teased once you whined. “I-I need you Trey.”

He gave a small hum, “Do you now?” He asked, his body causing the bed to creak slightly as he lowered himself down your body. You tried moving your hands to touch him, locate him but he quickly slammed them back down next to your sides. “Move them again and I’ll tie them again.” He warned you.

You clutched your hands onto the sheets as he propped your legs onto his shoulders, before blowing lightly on your aching clit. The gust of air caused you to flinch slightly, letting out an almost squeak sound. Suddenly you felt the attachment of his lips to your clit as he began sucking, flicking his tongue in  a pattern like motion.

A gasp was all you could make, clutching harder onto the sheets, sure that your knuckles had turned white by now. He continued fucking you with his tongue, letting out a chuckle when you’d make a noise, sending vibrations through your core. The feeling caused you to grind against his mouth, his nose brushing against your clit when you’d do so. He ran his tongue along your folds, before diving it as deep as he could.

When you felt yourself start to reach your high again, you reached up, gripping onto his hair as you started riding his face. He quickly pulled away from you, ripping your hands from his hair, pinning them above your head. “I fucking told you.” He growled, before you felt the fabric wrap around your wrists. “You don’t listen very well do you.”

Your breathing increased with every word he spoke, every move he made around you, only being able to feel him from the sounds he’d make. “Why should I fuck you? Hm? Letting a strange man touch you? In public nonetheless.” He scoffed as he talked, flipping you onto your side. You heard the jingling of his belt, and the dropping of his jeans.

“I think you should be punished don’t you?” He whispered against your ear suddenly, feeling the coldness of his leather belt run down your body. You gulped before you nodded, not believing what was happening. Suddenly, you felt the collision of the belt impact on your ass and your back arched as you let out a small whimper. Although it did hurt, the feeling turned you on even more.

The collision hit you once more and the whimper was exchanged for a moan, digging your nails into the palm of your hand. When the belt struck you for the third time, you bit your bottom lip and curled your toes. “Are you gonna let another man touch you?” He asked, the leather slapping against itself as he clicked the belt together. You shook your head, “No sir.”

“That’s my good girl.” He spoke before you felt him prop himself next to you. You still laid on your side as he pushed your legs up to your stomach. Suddenly you felt him thrust himself in, his cock stretching your walls as he did so. He started thrusting roughly, wasting no time to let yourself adjust but you didn’t mind, as every thrust sent a rush of pleasure down your body.

One of his hands continued to hold your legs to your stomach, while the other held onto your side so he could keep the position he wanted. He let out a groan as his grip tightened, “You feel so fucking good.” He spoke as he did so. You continued to let out a moan before he pulled out, flipping you back around so you were on your back once again. He thrusted back in, propping your legs on his shoulders.

He pressed his lips into yours as he thrusted, you licked his lips begging for an entrance into his mouth to which he granted, his own tongue having a battle with yours for dominance. He bit your bottom lip hard, giving it a tug as he pulled away.

His hand rested just above your pelvic bone as he pressed down on it, feeling his cock thrust in and out of you. “Fuck.” He groaned out. You felt your stomach tighten once more, starting to reach your peak. “Don’t.” He told you when he felt your walls starting to clench.

“Please Trey.” You begged, your eyes watering under the tie, definitely soaking it. “Not yet.” He told you as he continued thrusting. His thrusts got rough with every move, holding himself in when he’d hit your g spot for a few seconds before he’d start thrusting again.

You felt his thrusts start to get more sloppy as he leaned down to your ear, “I want you to cum on three okay?” He whispered, his thrusts increasing once more. You nodded before he began counting.

“One…”

“Two…”

His hand moved from just above your pelvic bone to where he started rubbing on your clit as he thrusted, “Three…”

You felt your walls tighten around his cock rapidly as you started to grind his hips against his thrusts, the two of you releasing at the same time. He let out another groan, the two of you riding out your highs together.

He pulled out, keeping his hand on rubbing your clit as you tried moving away but he forced you to stay, “No. You wanted more so that’s what you're getting.” He paused, thrusting his fingers in, gasping from how sensitive you were but still moaning from the pleasure you received. “I want you to cum around my fingers.”

You bit your bottom lip as he continued thrusting them, “I-I can’t.” You whimpered out, letting out another small moan.

“Yes you can. I know you can. Because that’s what good girls do. And you’re a good girl right?” He asked and you nodded once more. “That’s what I thought.”

He continued pumping his fingers as you felt yourself start to get that familiar feeling once more, surprised you could reach your high again. “Are you close?” He asked when you started to flex your walls again.

You bit your bottom lip while nodding. He reached his free hand up and pulled up the tie from your eyes, “I want you to look in my eyes.” He told you, holding eye contact with you as he curled his fingers. You held eye contact with him, wishing you could touch his face, feel the way his salt and pepper beard would prickle against your hand.

You let out another gasp when you felt yourself suddenly release onto his fingers, his blue eyes piercing into yours, “Hmm that’s a good girl.” He whispered as he pulled his fingers out, pressing them against your lips, “Now come on.”

You wrapped your mouth against his fingers, licking them clean before he pulled them out with a pop. He reached up and untied your hands from above your head before laying next to you in the bed. “Was that what you wanted?” He asked, looking at you.

You slowly nodded, speechless as you felt your chest rise and fall while you breathed heavily. “I love you. And I just want you to be happy.” He whispered, caressing your face with his hand. You turned and looked into his eyes, “I’m sorry it won’t happen again.” You apologized.

“Never again?”

“Never again.”

[sn33z3s]

in defense of “if you weren’t a fucking asshole”

(title subject to change because it’s silly. what better time to write “meta” than hours before a season premiere. after all, style is dead. or was it that it’s just boring? no, wait, it’s toxic–)

this doesn’t have a thesis, it’s just some leftover thoughts from last year - mostly pertaining The Church Scene, because of course - and featuring some hot stan marsh characterization takes i guess

let’s start with the gay glancing at your ex-childhood best friend, yeah?

so, this framing is loaded because it's the narrative of their whole thing: kyle chasing stan. stan usually comes to kyle's rescue in absurd (but solvable) situations, whereas kyle often has to fight stan to provide emotional respite. they're thinking of each other here; it's distinct how stan looks back, rather than this shot cutting at kyle. stan's explosive reaction is still pretty presumptuous, but kyle was, even if unintentionally, asking for stan's attention - which is typical.

in a sense, this scene is their wordless language; the kind you share with said ex-best friend but it’s gotten worn from overuse, and as a result, you’re both communicatively stunted, so now that you’ve reached out again after 40 years, the first step to any comfort or solace is [the scene above] and a homoerotic spectacle:

well, i don’t need to tell you what that public spectacle is; you already know

stan leads his paranoid outburst in the church by accusing kyle of knowing something which would be impossible for kyle to know; in You’re Getting Old/Assburgers kyle also reaches out to stan, who turns him down, yet still asks that kyle basically read his mind and comfort him.

kyle is not a stranger to demanding unrealistic things from stan as well, but kyle calling stan “asshole” packs that punch since contemporarily the fandom usually assumes stan as more emotionally forward or in-touch with himself. however, in the church, kyle is pointing out that stan is clearly repressing his feelings, desires, traumas, etc. and kyle has used a similar approach before:

in my last meta, i wrote about how stan is pretty firm in not instantly accepting kyle's olive branches. of course, the thing is, kyle's olive branches are bent sometimes, let alone how he approaches asking for stan's forgiveness before the broship splits. kyle doesn't apologize: he just expects stan to move on.

(also, i love the "divorced couple" coding before we even reach Post-COVID.) anyway, the show clearly acknowledges stan as "agreeing with kyle no matter what," and the first time stan and kyle fight in canon, it’s a big deal.

i always return to how i don't see kyle or stan as at fault in most of, if not all, of their fights. this especially applies to YGO & Assburgers since it's one of their most significant “break-up” arcs. still... kyle's "if you weren't a fucking asshole" in the church scene is so satisfying. (and 100% excellent voice acting on matt stone's part; the punchy delivery at the end of that line is what makes me revisit it often.) when i put my tin foil hat on, it does sound like decades of resentment built up. if this post had to have a thesis, it’d be, “here’s why kyle had every right to call stan an asshole in that moment,” but the Stan Can Be an Asshole, Too meta is for another day. after all, my last meta also revolved around the trouble i have with framing stan as an exclusively passive character (rather than predominantly passive). 

by “decades of resentment,” i mean simmering for kyle since, you guessed it, episodes such as You're Getting Old and Assburgers. i talk about YGO & Assburgers a lot, i'm sorry. but i was thinking about the church scene as i browsed the south park wiki on the official site: "Kyle can only deal with so much of Stan's negativity." (obviously, matt and trey themselves do not write or even moderate the Comedy Central studios wiki, so take all of it with a grain of salt.) i like that wording, though, and this other part of the blurb too: "Stan's ego can get in the way of their friendship [referencing Guitar Queer-o]." 

kyle not being able to handle stan’s negativity these days is more often harshly critiqued than anything about stan’s ego. that detail does, in many forms, relate to the stan jock characterization discourse, but that’ll also have to wait for another meta. i can say a couple of things about it to tie up this post, though. 

yes, kyle fails to comfort stan in the YGO arc. at the same time, i don't think his positivity is always maligned. after all, the YGO arc isn't stan vs kyle, it's stan and kyle vs. growing up; this is their contemporary theme. and yes, for a kid, kyle can have that emotional maturity.

Tegridy Farms and Post-COVID have cemented stan as south park’s protagonist – though, in my opinion, he always has been it, especially since Bigger, Longer, & Uncut – and protagonists are like, the character archetype that receives the most self-projection. yet this emotional angle is comparatively still a fairly new framing of stan’s character. now that this show is narrated in such a way that we see even more of the world of south park through stan’s eyes, fans watching may feel extra inclined to think of him as only ever depressed. but being sad is not all stan does and never has been.

not only is this frequency fairly new to his character, i would go so far as to say that there’s a difference between the contemporary stan angst arcs and older episodes like Raisins, YGO, and Assburgers. being sad is not “natural” to stan (whatever that means), it is thrust upon him. most recently, this is randy’s fault. yes, we are meant to - and i hope that most do - sympathize or empathize with stan, but my point here is that he’s a little bit more belligerent and bullish than the fandom currently gives him credit for.

[iluvtreyparker]

Backstage

~you make a point to meet Trey after the DVDA concert~

*smut (awww)

For whatever reason, he was always on your mind. Trey fucking Parker. You hadn’t the slightest really why it was him, but he just had something special. Was it the way he flawlessly crafted comedy? How he made it so smooth it almost seemed easy, like it was something feasible for even you to produce. And you found yourself yearning to be like him, admittedly making failed attempts at his strengths, revealing to you just how special his mind really was. As if he wasn’t already causally and humbly genius, there was just something about his voice. It reeled you in. The tone, the cadence with which it flowed seamlessly from his lips, gracing the air with immaculate elocation. And when he sang, lord, to you it was like angels descending down from the heavens, donned in white with wings and halos, heavenly light raining down behind them as they came down on white fluffy clouds, caroling a continuous “Ahhh,” emanating sounds of holy glory. And the way in which he could weave humor between the lines of adept instrumentals of any style drove you mad. As a music student, you were impressed and intrigued by his diverse talent. But as a girl, you were turned on. You knew him and Matt had a silly little band together, as they wrote and recorded a song for their movie Orgazmo, as well as the song, What Would Brian Boitano Do, on the end credits from the South Park movie. That one drove you a little nuts to be honest. The fast pace, how hard it went, and especially the image in your mind when Trey sang “I’m gonna take off my pants, and I’m gonna make dirty love to you.” That one always elicited a giggle or a teehee.

Lo and behold, the holy grail was bestowed upon you this evening. DVDA in the lineup at a festival in your damn town. You had to go and oh god you wanted to get backstage. The thoughts started flooding in. What if I could get back there and get him alone with me. Is that possible? Is there anywhere to actually do that backstage? Maybe you could take him home. Or maybe he had a hotel room. There was no practical way you could get backstage, you thought. How did groupies ever even do that anyways? And then it dawned on you. While you went to school for music, on the side you worked for the school paper. Maybe there was some way you could act like you’re a real journalist to work your way back there. Something like that. Or maybe they’d see a little dweeb working for the school and think, “Oh how sweet, let’s let the poor thing do her little interview, yeah?” and they’d let you in out of pity because you’re such a dork. Highly likely. In the time leading up to the event you promised yourself you would devise a proper plan.

The day finally came about and you hadn’t given one serious thought as to what you might ask Trey in an interview, if an interview was even feasible. You know what you wanted to ask, “Are you free after this?” “What’s your favorite Cure song?” “How big is your dick?” “Favorite position?” “Grower?”

You almost completely doubted that you would even be able to make your way backstage, even with your so very official student journalist lanyard you had acquired from school. Student journalist, who really gives a shit? Like they’d let you backstage for that? “Yes, I am writing a piece for the school paper about the festival and I would love to be let backstage to interview, um, Trey, um, I mean DVDA, for it!” Yeah. That’s rich. As if.

You knew what you really wanted though, and maybe that was enough for you to will yourself backstage to meet Trey.

You wondered what he’d wear, how his stage presence would be. Something about a man getting into the music that he’s playing is just so attractive. Sigh, oh, Trey Parker.

The night rolled around and you donned what you considered to be the sexiest and edgiest bit of attire you could possibly muster from your closet, without looking like a total slut of course, you wanted to be just a little bit classy. You put in your earrings, and all your other accouterments like many bracelets and necklaces, you sighed and thought about Trey. You grabbed a quick snack from the kitchen and then downed a beer to ease the nerves. As much as you wanted to, you weren’t going to get totally blasted at this thing, just on the off chance your dreams came to fruition.

You arrived at the venue and you couldn’t wait, even if this didn’t work out you couldn’t believe he was real and right there and you would be seeing Trey Parker in action. You stood in the back with a drink waiting for whatever band was playing to reach the end of their set. They weren’t too bad though, you thought, maybe you’d enjoy them more if you weren’t so badly dying to see the next group. The band played their last song, the singer said thanks and goodbye and they were off the stage. You knew there would be time between the bands for getting everything set up. So, after standing around a bit, right about now had seemingly appeared to be the perfect time to quickly slip off to the bathroom, but unbeknownst to you however, it was the worst time to do so; just as you sat down you heard cheering and then speaking over the microphone. No fucking way. Your fucking timing, huh? You rushed with all the might physically possible and burst out the stall, tearing down everything in your path as you approached the crowd. You could just stand back here? No? You needed to be up front and in the action. But there he was. His lightish brown hair shining in the stage light, gripping the mic. Oh fuck. He wore a white baseball style jersey shirt and loose fitting adidas track pants, but good lord did he make it work. You came back to reality after getting lost in the trance of Trey Parker, and began pushing your way through the crowd with determination and no apology. Pushing through drunkenness and occasional clouds of weed smoke, you were getting so close to the front of the stage. Nothing felt real as you pushed on, but were immediately halted by the harsh reality of cold liquid landing on your chest.

“Shit!” You hear, “my fucking beer!”

Someone had spilled what felt like had to be their whole cup of beer all over your brand new tight, cute little crop top. Funnily enough, you weren’t wearing a bra and this altercation’s turnout only accentuated what you were packing on your chest. A bit embarrassing though, and annoying, and now you smelled like beer and were fully nipped up at the DVDA concert. Whatever, you ignored all this and continued the journey to the front. Maybe Trey likes girls with wet boobs?

You finally made it to the front and it was like the glory of the light of heaven shown down in a beam upon him. He had so much energy, bouncing around the stage, yelling and belting out silly little lines. And oh good god the way he grabbed the mic and sang into it. It was almost obscene the way he wrapped his hand around it. And his face when he sang. Sometimes he would close his eyes briefly, maybe coupled along with a scream. It’s like he knew what he was doing. Like he was doing all of it for you. The song ended and he paused a little bit, naturally though, about to go on announcing the next song and what it was about. But for a brief moment, time was stagnant and you stared up at him, wide eyed, awaiting his next move. And by the grace of god, for a fleeting second, you felt his eyes scan you, resting briefly on the sight of your wet chest, quickly followed by his eyes moving upward to meet yours. He smiled, and then went on talking about the upcoming song. Feeling his eyes on you nearly warmed up your entire body and you started feeling weak in the knees. You’re not keeling over though, you thought to yourself, not right now anyways. But then it struck you, “Holy shit?!?!” you said to yourself, “My wet ass tits?!?!?” Did Trey Parker just check you out? God bless the drunken fool who doused your tits in beer.

The rest of the concert nearly felt like a blur as you almost refused to believe what happened to have been a real interaction. Real or not, the show was coming to a close as they announced this would be their last song before Ween took the stage. Still in disbelief, you jumped and danced along and let go of everything. You wondered though if he had snuck any other glimpses of you throughout the night. You hadn’t noticed, but maybe he was sneaky?

The last song ended and your heart sank with the realization that, first of all, it was over, but also the moment you had been waiting for was quickly approaching and you had to put forth your shitty plan into action. First of all, you didn’t really know how to get backstage, though you did notice a back room door with a bouncer/security guard and thought maybe that was a safe bet. You made your way over and were met with intimidating authority and the feeling of your loss of words.

“Can’t go back there, sorry.”

“Oh, no, well it’s okay, see I’m writing a piece for the school paper about the fest and I wanted to interview some people. See,”

You flashed your shitty student badge, “I have this.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that really constitutes backstage access,” he said, “Sorry, you’re gonna have to move along.”

You protested, “Are you sure? I mean I really gotta write this thing, do I really look like that much of a hoodlum to you?”

“No, ma’am, just can’t let anyone back here if they’re not authorized.”

Just as you were planning your counter attack, the door swings open and none other than Trey Parker comes walking out. He notices the unfolding events and stops, looking at you and recognizing. He speaks:

“Oh hey! It’s wet shirt girl! What’re you doing over here?”

Oh my god??? Wet shirt girl?!!?!

“Haha… yeah… wet shirt girl…that’s me- oh, uh. I’m a… uh… journalist. Yeah.” You replied, trying not to seem like you are a crazy fan trying to break through the barricade. Even though that is exactly what was transpiring.

“Oh, okay I see. So is this guy giving you trouble?” He said jokingly.

You giggled and responded, trailing off at the end, “Well…”

“Well I was going to grab a drink, why don’t I get you one too? C’mon.” He motioned you the direction of the drink stand, proceeding to lead you in that direction by lightly placing his hand on the small of your back, and walking you that way. The two of you approached the stand.

“What do you like?” He asked.

“Oh just a plain old Miller Lite will do…”

“Beer girl, huh?”

“Yeah haha…” you giggled nervously.

He ordered your drinks and handed yours to you, “Here you go, beer girl.” He smiled.

He led you backstage where he brought you to a dressing room where the two of you chatted for a while and drank. At one point, things got quite flirty and he monitored for you to come sit in his lap. You sat down in his warm lap as he put a hand on your thigh, you felt his warmth and felt comfortable immediately. He lightly brushed the hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. He then leaned in, putting his hand gently on your cheek, kissing you. You leaned in back, kissing him deeply, perching your hand on his chest. You felt him sigh into your mouth as he pulled away, still spinning slightly from the heat of the kiss. He looked at his watch, “Shit.” He said, “I actually have to go meet some people in a minute, fuck.” With this he kindly let you know he was getting up, and then proceeded to scramble for a pen and piece of paper. Upon finding them, he scribbled down an address and room number and handed the scrap of paper to you.

“This is where I’m staying tonight. If you wanna come by around like 1 that would be awesome. I’d really like to see you some more.”

You felt certain you must have been drooling as he said these words to you.

You didn’t want to sound too desperate, but god, you were desperate, you wanted him so badly.

“Sounds good! I’ll be there!” You smiled.

“Here, let me walk you to your car, they can wait a few minutes longer.” He said to you, putting his arm around you, leading you out. He walked you to your car and you said your goodbyes, promising to meet later.

You truly couldn't believe this had happened. With each moment, the closer it got to 1:00, the more your heart pounded. Should you change? Should you touch up your makeup? No… just stop thinking… get yourself together.

As the time approached, painstakingly, you had waited for each passing hour, yearning for his touch and to see him again.

You arrived at the hotel. It was a lot nicer than you expected. You didn’t really know what you expected though. You searched for the room number he had given you and finally arrived at the door. You took in a deep breath, held it, then knocked.

You waited a moment.

Nothing .

Your heart sank. Should you leave? Should you knock again?

You swallowed your pride, knowing how badly you wanted him, even if it embarrassed you, and you knocked one more time.

You waited.

Nothing.

You accepted the reality that this was all crazy and he wasn’t coming to the door, you began slowly sulking away down the hall when, holy shit, you heard a door open. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Trey popping his head out the door, “Hey!!” He said, you rushed back over to the door.

“Sorry,” he said, “I just got out of the shower..”

You looked at him, he was shirtless with just a towel wrapped around his waist, and hair still wet. You were already horny witnessing his slightly dampened bare chest.

“I can tell, haha…” you said.

“C’mon in!” He motioned you in, shutting the door behind you.

“Lemme get some clothes on real quick, here have a drink, there’s some stuff in the fridge.” He said as he grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom.

You grabbed a drink and sipped it anxiously as you briefly paced around the room before sitting on the edge of the bed.

Finally, after a few sips, he came out.

He wore an old battered and lived in Broncos t-shirt and a pair of track pants, similar to the ones you had seen him in tonight, but you could tell these were a different pair. His hair still slightly dampened, he scratched his head and spoke, “So…” he paused for a moment and then sat next to you on the edge of the bed. He was so close you could feel his body heat and smell the freshness of his recent shower.

“The show tonight was really great by the way…” You said, somewhat awkwardly, trying to fill up the space with anything to say.

“Yeah? Thanks. Y’knowI liked the show I saw too.” He said with a light laugh, nodding towards your boobs.

You blushed.

In that instance he pulled you in, his hand on your face, pressing his lips against yours. You kiss back, slipping in your tongue and working it around against his. As you kiss you feel his hand on your head, lightly grabbing your hair as he let out a grunty sigh. His other hand worked its way up your thigh and onto your waist, squeezing it a little, then pulling you in closer to him. Within this motion he led the two of you down, still kissing, to laying on the bed; smoothly and swiftly he moved you on top of him. As you mounted him, you felt the hardened length pushing against his pants. He let out a moan into your mouth as he began bucking his hips against you as you moved yourself along his hardening bulge. He pulled away for a moment and pulled off his shirt. You put your hands on his chest, feeling a light veil of sweat beginning to form, you ran your hands down until your fingers reached his waist band and you tugged at it lightly.

“You’re eager, aren’t you?” He said with a heavy breath.

“I just know what I want is all.” You told him with a smirk.

You dug your fingers deeper, pulling down his pants slowly, very quickly he took over and ripped them off with haste, throwing them off to the side. You sat up and off to the side as he did this, but within moments he had his hands on your shoulders, quickly moving your body back to the bed, pinning you down beneath him. With your wrists under his hands, he stared at your face for a moment before leaning in to kiss you, then moving his hands all about your body. He ran his hands up your torso and then pulled off your t-shirt swiftly and with the most ease you had ever seen. He leaned in and grabbed one of your tits and then put it in his mouth, sucking and licking lightly at it as his eyes wandered up to meet yours briefly. From there, he made his way down, kissing along your torso until he met with your skirt. He hovered above you and gave your pussy a rub under your skirt briefly as he breathed heavily, looking at you with lust in his eyes before unbuttoning and sliding them off along with your underwear. He eagerly tossed them to the side, letting them land wherever the hell they landed. He immediately spread your legs and dove in, gripping your thighs as he moved his tongue around you, licking everywhere in all the right places. Lord, he knew how to move his tongue. He went in circles along your clit, occasionally poking thru to the entrance, he continued this as he eventually brought his fingers up to you, teasing you lighting but then slowly entering as he maintained licking at your clit. This alone was enough to send you into shock it seemed. He began pumping in and out and curling his fingers up while inside you. He looked up at you and asked, “How’s that, baby? Do you like that?” He said this with a focused and furrowed brow, he was intent on making you feel good.

You could barely word a response and all you said was a jumble of moans and maybe something like an “uh huh”

“Yeah, you know it’s good,” he said with a smirk.

You reached out and began rubbing and stroking his cock through his boxers, feeling it get even harder with every second, marveling at the length. All you could do was keep stroking it through his boxers and imagine how it would spring out and how it would look when he took his boxers off… and how good it was going to feel inside of you…

Unable to take it any longer you blurted out with a pleading moan, “Fuck me please, Trey, I need you inside of me.”

“Oh you’re such a little slut, aren’t you, huh?” He said as he in that moment forced his fingers deeper, really hitting THAT spot, before he pulled out swiftly and you yearned immediately for the return of his touch. He pulled away and sat back, touching himself lightly as he asked, “You want this?”

“So badly,” you pouted.

He slid down his boxers, you watched wide eyed as his surprisingly above average cock slung out. He spit in his hand and gave his cock a few strokes before coming back down closer to you, beginning to line up his length with your entrance.

“I can see how badly you want it, baby.” He said breathily with a smirk, holding back from pushing in just yet, and it was driving you insane.

“I know you’re so ready for me right now…” he boasted, “But I like seeing you squirm waiting for me.” He said almost laughing at you, knowing he was killing you.

He leaned in a little, kissing you, as he began rubbing his tip on your clit and entrance, teasing you and feeling you shiver underneath him dying for him to go inside. Within an instance though, he himself couldn’t hold back any longer and he slid himself in slowly and carefully. You took in every inch, rolling back your eyes. He let out an “ahh” as he entered, pausing briefly once he was fully inside, and slowly he began thrusting. He started slow but began picking up the pace, however he made sure not to jackhammer you seeing as he was a master at the craft and knew what you would want. As he picked up, he leaned down, pressing his chest against yours, and burying his face in your neck, kissing you.

You moaned, loving it, but said, “Please… don’t leave a hickey…”

He broke the kisses for a fleeting moment, “I won’t” he responded, going immediately back to sucking at your sensitive neck.

You knew he was going to leave a hickey or two, and as much as you thought didn’t want him to, it still made you feel a little proud and turned on to know you’d be marked by him for the next few days to come.

He put his hands on each side of your waist, pulling you into him as he continued thrusting, moaning and grunting in pleasure.

“Fuck, you feel so good…” he said with a concentrated visage, really laying into you.

“Oh fuck, Daddy.” You blurted out in the heat of the moment, immediately putting your hand over your mouth with embarrassment as it slipped out.

“Daddy, huh?” He grinned, “It’s okay, I think I like that, baby.”

“Do you want Daddy to fuck your brains out, hm?” He sneered.

“Mhmm,” you nodded. It’s all you could get out.

Immediately he lifted your legs onto his shoulders and began pounding deep inside you, deeper than earlier. He reached out, feeling one of your tits and he concentrated aggressively on pounding away at you. He continued this for a moment more before pulling out and then laying down, commanding you, “Get on top.”

You did as he said. You climbed on top of him, lifting up slightly and then lowering down slowly on top of him, letting him fill you up fully. You began riding,

“Fuck…” he moaned as you began picking up the pace, bouncing on top of him as he put his hands on your hips.

You could see and feel him getting closer and closer, as you were too. Before long he panted, “Shit… I’m getting close…”

“Yeah, babe?” You said, almost protesting, “I need you to make me cum.”

He pulled you down, locking lips with a fist full of your hair as he began bucking his hips to the perfect rhythm. He slid his hand down to your pussy and began rubbing your clit, sending you over the edge as he continued pounding. You were losing control with this new addition and you felt yourself getting closer as the room started blurring out in the moment.

“Trey, I think I’m gonna cum.” You moaned.

“Yeah?” He said as he kept working you, “Cum for daddy, baby.”

This sent you over the edge, which in turn got him even closer as well. You felt that feeling and gave in, you did as he had told you, you were cumming for Trey Parker, feeling everything crumble around you as you rode out the high on top of him.

“I wanna cum on your tits.” He said with need in his voice

“Fuck, do it.” You replied.

You lifted off of him as he moved you down on your back on the quickly. Urgently, he entered you for a few last pumped before he groaned and pulled out, grabbing his cock and pumping it as he hovered above you, letting loose all over your chest.

“Ahhh.. fuck…” he whined as he finished up cumming all over you.

“Shit...” He said as he flopped over next to you.

“Oh shit…” he said momentarily after he came back down to earth, realizing the mess he has made on you.

“Let me grab a towel.” He said, rolling off the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

He returned back and gently wiped you clean.

“Thanks,” you giggled.

“No problem, thanks for… Y'know…” he laughed a little, “Y’know…”

“Yeah…” you giggled as well, “Yeah I mean it was alright I suppose.”

“Alright??? Shiiiiiiiit, it was pretty awesome.”

You blushed.

“C’mere,” he said, grabbing you sweetly by the shoulder and pulling you down to the bed to spoon with him. Soon the two of you drifted off into sleep.

[boxblondiecoops]

You should totally write a small thing bout the Band AU stuff, justice for the rockstar ( especially) trey and matt fr 🙏🏼 I would love to see you give your own opinions about it

-Saphari ★

As someone who literally listens to DVDA (I listen to maybe two songs) I- I'm so gay for the band AU shit. Like knowing Matt and Trey literally can sing and play shit makes me shake.

Mostly because of this. It's- you can see the energy and I need that. The neck, the hands? All it. All him.

I can not control myself, is what I'm learning. This is kinda smutty like it- it's just me being slutty for them tbh. Ok anyway idea times.

Gender neutral, mentions of slutty behavior.

✴✶✴✶

Let's see. Imma break this up the I can organize my thoughts.

If you're a fan...

So if you're just a fan, they (Matt and Trey) would both, likely, call you out if you're a "regular" at they're concert's.

And probably give you like a big hug over the railing at the like meet and greet sign bullshit after word SOULY to see you turn red and stammer.

They love you tho, I mean come on. You're adorable. Like a puppy.

If you don't understand some of the lyrics to the songs and like.. what they mean? Trey is ALL over you. Because he has that dumb stupid fucking kink.

If you have the same music taste as Matt, like Primus and shit? He's so down for anything you have to say. You could say the sky is purple and he'd look up and go "damn you right babe"

They LOVE knowing the fact they could probably tour anywhere and someone as adorable and innocent as you would just follow them and it's the exact OPPOSITE of what they're ego needs.

They give you a nickname since they don't really.... Know your name, just your face. Probably referencing the outfit you wore or your hair color or something dumb, I donno.

If you happen to bump into them just before the-the band starts? And like get blushy and explain yourself they just kinda smirk at each other and ask if you wanna hang out

It's fueling they're egos so damn much. Collectively.

Like Matt probably puts his arm around your shoulders and is like "backstage tour, just for you" and guides you back there.

And Trey's just watching you and shakes his head, tongue against cheek, because he knows it would be just so fucking easy to get you to do whatever they wanted.

But they sooooo offer to sign your chest. Or your hip. Or your thigh. Whatever, wherever.

They love it because it's like they claimed you.

Oh my god. You asking someone to take a pic of you three and it ends up being that one pic of like that lucky girl being kissed by both of them on the cheek.

Hangin out in the van with them before songs becomes a usual thing.

They also don't know your name still- anything they sign for you is made out to your nickname.

Like maybe Trey asked for it when he was drunk after a concert but he does NOT remember but he remembers moaning it as he uh relieved some stress....

And Matt definitely heard it come from your friends but he doesn't care about your name, no, he wants to hear HIS name leave your lips.

They do learn your name after a few repeats of they're concerts, they aren't total assholes.

But both are ridiculously talented. Trey's got that breath control and Matt's got those big bass hands. And Trey has the tongue technique and Matt has the ambidextrous talent. And that's all I'm saying about anything ever.

At the end of the day tho, they do find it admirable that you genuinely like them and the shit they make.

Trey can be a lil.............. self destructive when it comes to specific stuff he's not proud of, but knowing you'll give him genuinely helpful critiques makes him feel a bit more relaxed about it.

And with Matt's temper? He tried his best to keep it under control but you're like the one person he genuinely can't get mad at. Like he's tried. It doesn't work. You just make him soft.

If you're their manager...

Oh, they LOVE making it hard for you.

Like they do the most questionable shit on stage and then you have to explain it to like so many people and it basically just goes

"Who actually controls them?" "Who fucking knows. It ain't me." ".... Huh."

Example: the red carpet + dress + acid shit.

Good luck explaining that to the press....

They did try to get you to match with them that day... Maybe not the acid but they both thought you would've looked lovely in a dress like theirs.

And then you gotta yell at Trey to button up his shirt because he's being slutty for the paparazzi again and tell Matt to chill because he's about to verbally destroy a poor journalist for pronouncing a word wrong.

Also they shout out to you ALL. THE TIME.

On stage, during interviews, anywhere, everywhere.

Literally with out you, this shit can not be done. God knows they won't do it.... Maybe they will, they do kinda have control things, don't they?

Speaking of, you three bud heads a lot. Mostly because Trey writes absurd and inappropriate lyrics and Matt does his damn hardest defending him.

They get away with it tho.

Every single time.

Because they out number you so Matt will distract you while Trey cues up some puppy dog eyes because he knows he has them and they work so well on you

Also they flirt with you constantly. As a joke or for real, who knows, but they love seeing you blush and threaten to quit.

Especially Trey. He loves pushing buttons. And you're his favorite play thing. Like he loves to write dirty, fucking awful songs just to see you blush. Like he shows you one and he just goes

"Good ain't it? I was thinking about you when I wrote it."

And it's obviously about like 69ing or some shit and he has no shame in this at ALL.

And Matt loves like trying to calm you down because he knows he just has that nice soothing voice and sometimes to fuck with you he pulls you into a hug and pets you like a dog and is like

"Sshh, it's ok, baby, it's a joke. I know, he's so mean, isn't he?"

And he's all like pouty and mocking you and shit but you can't get free because the dudes fucking huge.

..... I might wanna be between them. This is such a journey for me, wow.

If something bad genuinely does come from they're teasing, they apologize so out right, serious as fuck and try to fix it the best they can.

Like they don't want you to get hurt or think they just want your body or to tease you- they do genuinely like you and find you funny as hell.

So if they fuck up and shit goes south during a concert or something, they take responsibility.

Although, with the way they can talk they're way out of shit? Psh, it rarely happens.

They do try to keep your name clean tho. They make like to fuck around and do stupid shit but they know you take your job seriously and you deserve respect for that and refuse to let you get roped into they're media fuck ups.

Also they throw you the best thank you partiest at the end of each tour concert. Like whatever you wanna do? Done. It's for you.

You planned the whole thing (the tour), had a budget, set up venues, you deserve more than a shitty lil party but fuck man. It's what they know sometimes. But it's with your best interest in mind.

They fucking LOVE you. They're just so fucking greatful for you not only helping them, but genuinely supporting them.

Speaking of- you are the one person they DO NOT prank.

If they do, it's dumb harmless shit like spraying you with silly string while you piss.

If someone does prank you or takes something too far??

Gone. Matt and Trey no longer know that person. They over stepped and gotta deal with the shit storm that's abouta knock the person's career dead.

If you're a band member...

You're fucked, bro.

The teasing from the other two scenarios gets worse because you just- you're stuck with them. All the time.

In the hotel rooms, on the bus, going to eat, sleeping, showering for fucks sake.

Privacy? Gone.

Well, not entirely. They still get you piss with out them, but they love being by you so they're glued to your hip.

You are their favorite lil band member and it shows.

They give you the best spot on the bus (the seat that doesn't hurt your ass after four minutes), you get first dibs on food during rehearsal breaks, you just-

You get the special treatment, ok?

You guys can "fit in the hotel shower and save the whales with the water you don't waste by taking three sperate showers"

Says Matt as he giggles and strips his clothes off and Trey just nods and smirks and is probably just gonna treat it like it's a casual thing friends do all the time because y'all are all adults anyway.

"It's fun." "Relax a lil." "I'll give you a shoulder massage." "I got the shampoo covered."

I think I'm just going through a lot while typing this out.

If you play the guitar and one of the strings snaps and cuts your hand, you have no idea how fast Matt while drop his bass guitar to help you out.

Trey'll make sure it doesn't happen again. And if it was the result of another band member pranking you?............. That dicks out the band. Doesn't matter. You got hurt, this isn't a joke. No one's laughing.

If it scars, the boys make a habit of kissing it as an apology. They're sweethearts when they want to be.

Trey probably lays awake at night thinking about how often you get hurt now and wants to wrap you up in bubble wrap. He thought you needed stitches.

Matt just double- triple checks the strings of any instrument you play before your allowed to touch it. He hated seeing you like that, it scared him.

If you play the drums, Matt and Trey will show you videos all the time of cool stick tricks and has if you can do them.

Also one of them makes a joke about you doing that to his dick but IDK who. You decide.

It you sit down with Trey and help him write a song he just gives you like heart eyes the entire time and he genuinely can't stop looking at you.

God forbid you have a cute mannerism when you write tho, he'll giggle and think about it for days. Literally.

And he always goes to Matt and is like "did you know they fucking do *insert thing* when they focus?" And he just sighs like "yes dipshit. This is the seventh time you've told me."

But Matt also hits him with the "dude I said my finger hurt and they kissed it for me" and sticks his tongue out at him.

Trey was pouty for the rest of the day.

They turn into idiots. Like puppies fighting for attention.

The way they CONSTANTLY make sure credit is given where it's deserved.

If you write a set of song lyrics to go into Trey's song? Guess who's singing it~ You are. Because you deserve the spot light.

Oh you wrote a riff for Matt? Shit, baby, it's yours now. Play it at the next concert and tear that shit up.

They also constantly talk about you during interviews and how greatful they are to have you and how you help make the creative process so much easier.

Don't imagine laying between them on the hotel bed and just whispering and giggling and kicking your feet at 3 am while the others are asleep and eventually you guys fall asleep all snuggled up.

These boys get handsy tho watch oouuuttt.

If you wear something revealing they just- they can't help it.

Someone's gonna call you pretty while the other just nods and bites his lip.

Compliments THROWN at you from across the room, dude. Literally.

They work really well off of each other so they rarely like fight for you.

Oh!! Oh they always go to you for help with naming songs and albums and album pics and shit.

-

Lowkey ashamed of myself because I feel like I could write more- I'm just blanking. Anyway @saphiari here ya go!! My shitty lil thoughts~

[variant-zee]

pairing: matt stone x f! actress reader

summary: keeping your relationship a secret is a bit harder than you thought

genre: fluff

word count: 636

cw: legal age gap

author’s note: im not that good at writing. i write the same way i think and just hope it makes sense. i also tend to repeat some stuff so just bear with me. also happy birthday to matt stone 🤭🤭🩷

———————————————————————

You were a Broadway actress and you had met Matt and Trey backstage after one of your shows, they were looking for actors for their new Broadway show and they chose you to be one of the leads.

After a few months of going to all the show meetings, you and Matt would have small meetings where you’d talk about the show which slowly turned to meeting at his house for dinner after you each start developing feelings for the other.

You and Matt started dating and had been dating for 3 months now. you guys were official! well, as much as you could be. neither of you had talked publicly about dating each other. Honestly, not like you could anyway. The show was being held a secret until Trey and Matt would announce that they were finished and the opening day of the show. but, obviously and most importantly, Matt was twice your age and even though you were already famous you weren’t that big, yet. imagine the amount of attention and harassment you too would receive if news got out. You didn’t want that news to be the way you debuted in Hollywood.

========

In the months that you and Matt had been dating, you both had made a really good job of keeping your relationship a secret by never mentioning each other in interviews and never being seen together in public. Since you both had gotten used to meeting at Matt’s house, you didn’t need to worry about going out and being seen. It was just easier for you both.

Both of you thought you were doing so good keeping each other a secret when Matt and Trey had an interview to do for a new season of South Park.

“Hey, guys! So I’m here with South Park creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone! How are you guys?“

The interviewer introduced them and started talking with them in some witty banter.

“Ok now getting into South Park. Is there going to be any more Tweek and Craig episodes or side plots? Your fans seem to love them!” The interviewer asked Matt and Trey.

“Tweek and Craig are our favorites too!” Trey laughed.

“Yea, I love when we do any Tweek and Craig stuff. It reminds me so much of how me and my girlfriend are. She’s a lot like Craig in being logical and so in control of her emotions.” Matt answered.

“While I’m like tweek. mostly freaking out over making sure we have a good episode for the week and already thinking of what we could do for the next episode-“ Matt had answered, stopping himself after realizing he was talking about his relationship with Y/N.

All those 3 months of keeping quiet and hiding each other from the world were gone!

Matt looked at Trey with a “help me!” look on his face. Trey understood and started talking about how they not only will they have more Tweek and Craig episodes but as well as all the other couples in South Park like Wendy and Stan. Trey changed the subject and went off talking about how he wants to focus on some of the parents too not just the kids.

The interviewer was so focused on Trey’s response that they didn’t quite push for more information from Matt’s answer.

Once they had answered most of the questions about the new season and the new episodes of South Park, they were asked if they had anything else planned.

“Yes actually!” Matt answered, looking over at Trey to give the interviewer more information about the musical since Trey was the one who wrote it.

“That’s right! We have a new musical on its way!” The interview ended with Trey announcing their new Broadway show mentioning y/n and the rest of the leading cast.

[themadsquirrel09]

Kenny dies! with an extra layer of heartbreak

"Kenny dies", the 12th episode of season 5, aired on December 5th, 2001. It has been 22 years since Matt and Trey dropped that bomb of feels; so, to celebrate, I thought, we should break our heart today!

Let's roll with the theory that Eric Cartman is the only one who remembers that Kenny dies multiple times (besides Kenny's parents).

(GIF from the episode S05E05 ∣ Cartmaland)

When you think about it in the context of the episode"Kenny dies", it is a game changer.

The moment of truth

So, Eric finds out Kenny is dying, goes to the hospital, and confesses to Kenny he sees him as his best friend. Kenny reciprocates, although we never know if sincerely, or out of pity, I'm inclined to bet it was an honest reply from Kenny.

(Gifset by South-Park-Gifs)

Eric tells Kenny he is gonna find the cure for him, and he seems exited.

But he hasn't leave the room when his expression has already dropped.

Soon he breaks down.

I think that, at least in this brief moment, Cartman was honest.

And what if here it is true that he remembers Kenny's deaths? Then maybe what hurts him the most is seeing his fun-loving partner in crime wasting in that hospital room.

The promise

After that, it also seems that Eric is serious about his promise of finding a cure. When he realizes he can clone the Shakey's, that idea is in his head probably from that moment, BUT, this is Eric Cartman we are talking about, he can be very ambitious, and so my theory is that he wanted both to cure Kenny, and clone the pizza place.

Then we have the lovable, and unforgettable moment when Eric gives his speech. If you are a fan, you know he is great at that, and you also know how good he is at manipulating, so it is all planned? Maybe it is!

He cries, and is almost unable to stop himself... but he can cry at will. So is it all fake? What if we take it to a middle point? Let's consider that some of that emotion is real. He cries more when he says "I love Kenny McCormick, and I hope you love him too".

I would go as far to say that even if he was acting, he probably borrowed the emotion of that moment in the hospital to cry at will, and influencing other people's judgment.

It could also be that he genuinely broke down in the middle of the speech, and resorted to singing that kind of song, which would kick a sing along. Entertaining is one of Eric's abilities, and singing can also soothe the nerves.

A goodbye we don't get to see

So, what if Cartman was serious about helping Kenny, and he ran out of time? What if the doctor looked at him in the eye and said "it is too late to cure him"? Maybe just after he had visited Kenny, and told him he was about to get the cure for him.

Or did Eric get so involved in the whole deal he didn't even got to say that last goodbye?

We are still rolling with the idea that Cartman remembers Kenny's multiple death, still he goes to the different funerals, so why didn't he goes to this one? Maybe it was a "fuck it" moment, he just wanted the Shakey's, and Kenny was dead anyway.

But there's another alternative, that Eric was so devastated by his own failure he had to focus on something that wasn't Kenny.

What if he felt so guilty he just wanted to be punished? So he goes, and shows the guys how much of a piece of shit he is; it feels great because Kyle beats the shit outta him, so, in a sick way, he gets that he thinks he deserves.

Did I broke you heart?

I sure broke mine :'l

With love: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Stan

[potatoes-tomatoes]

cringe ass older south park headcanons

top is what I personally envision for the boys, bottom is designed following canon designs and colors (down to hair, nose shapes, and types of clothes that appear on show):

Stan was easiest to design, I simply copy pasted Trey's 90s look and the type of casual sweaters he'd wear. If not that, then bomber jackets (bottom) his canon leg shape is weird, but meh, what can ya do. Kyle, I think would keep wearing an ushanka and wear the nicer clothes of the boys-- he'd still wear normal clothes like pants and a jacket, the thing is his jackets are from places like Nordstrom bc he's arguably the richest of the boys (I guess stan's a close second, maybe tie?). With his hat off, it's his crazy Matt 90s hair. I'm very fond of it. So fun to draw hgjfkd

Cartman likes to present himself nicely, but is paradoxically lazy. So he styles his hair neater than the other boys but wears a simple hoodie or jacket and onea those ugly calf-high cargo pants. Bottom design tho is his nicer clothes (also the one that has his full palate on display) Funny enough, he's the only one with a zit free face thanks to a rigorous skincare routine that would put Patrick Bateman to shame. I'd like him to keep those sharp, thin eyebrows his child design has as opposed to the canon designs which are fuller. He looks more evil and frees up space in his face

Kenny I had an absolute blast designing! I loved hawaiian shirt Kenny from PC, and wouldn't ya know it, there's a ton of hawaiian shirts out there adorned with promiscuous women and gore. Very south park. Very Kenny. though, that shirt cost a pretty penny so he'd most likely wear a cheap sweater and a puffer vest (the orange one is literally the cheapest thing you can buy on walmart hgjfkd). I wanted to spice up his pallet and gave him cool orange cargo pants!! No changes to his footwear. Literal genius move on the crew's end.

ummm yeah anyways yeah this was so funnn except for choosing cartman's nose shape bc fuck that. he's got like 3 canon noses to choose from and each nose gives him a new vibe wtf. I can't decide which to choose, I might make that it's own post. anwyays glasses cartman supremacy!!

[thelovelybitten]

“Why? What’s the point of living when the only girl I’ll ever love is gone?”

“No dude, i feel worse.”

“Dude, i don’t have time to start over with other girls. I’m nine years old, dude. If i don’t work things out with Wendy, I could be alone my whole life.”

“I can’t let Wendy go. This whole time, I’ve been having my friends do all the talking for me. It’s time i took control.”

“Tell her i love her.”

“I can’t believe it. She’s in love with someone else.”

“There’s nothing else i can do. She was my whole life.”

And antis really think Stan doesn’t care about Wendy. Weird.

[numbknee]

Enough of the suffering thru the asks abt all the other cartman ships, what abt your brain rot? 🥺 what *are* your thoughts on kyman?? Go ham dude

ooooh dear... where to begin with the kyman brainrot....... I guess I’ll start at the beginning. VERY LONG POST under the cut. this is basically my kyman meta magnum opus lmao

I’ve talked about this ad nauseam before, but I really, REALLY didn’t want to get into south park. I had only ever watched like 2 full episodes before 2021 and I simply did not understand the appeal. I just thought the draw to the show was the shock factors: gross-out humor, children swearing and committing violence, and blatant bigotry played for laughs. I didn’t understand how it could be so popular other than “well I guess there are lots of horrible people out there who like this horrible show.” 

I grew up in a very WASP-y town and had peers in elementary/middle school who learned about the existence of antisemitism and other bigotries through south park. because kids are stupid and don’t understand satire, many of them took it at face value and were able to have shittons of words added to their vocabulary to put people down and insult them. it was horrible tbh. and I hated the show for that, even as a young kid. I personally wasn’t perfect by any means but even as a snot-nosed, extremely sheltered little white girl I knew that you just shouldn’t do that shit. our school system in particular lauded the “golden rule” constantly (we had to do a school-specific pledge after the pledge of allegiance every day... yeah I know, very american) and I was like “cmon, you guys can’t even follow that ONE RULE to be a semi-decent human being?? really??”

anyway at the end of 2021, my younger brother asked me to watch the post-covid specials with him and he was very excited about it. I was immediately hesitant, especially because in recent years he has become alarmingly incel-y and took a hard turn to the right while I became a leftist. I reluctantly agreed to sit through it to try to understand him more because, even though his political ideology sucks ass, he’s still my brother and I do love him. 

so I watched the specials, and I came out the other side of it shell-shocked with how surprisingly good the writing was. THIS stupid show, the show that all this time I thought was bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, was... GOOD??? particularly regarding CARTMAN?? 

the only things I knew about cartman going into it were the following: he’s fat, he says the name “kyle” weird, and he’s a horrible antisemite. and they made him grow up to be a freaking RABBI. it completely caught me off guard and *gasp* actually made me laugh???? what???? 

there were plenty of other things I loved about the post-covid specials, like my depressed ass relating WAAAY too hard with stan, the extremely on-the-nose satire of the state of advertisement/capitalism with the stupid “denny’s applebee’s max” restaurant chain gag and all the old people being shoved into a giant prison retirement home once they aren’t productive anymore, kenny getting sick of the gang’s bullshit and writing “FUCK THESE HOES” on a beloved childhood photo, butters become a snake-oil salesman for NFTs, kyle being told to “think like a kid” and like 2 seconds later realizing they need to look up kenny’s ass. I could go on but you get the point. 

I liked it way more than I thought I ever would. and obviously, I often find south park funny for different reasons than my brother does because matt & trey are very good at toeing the line of appealing to both sides of the american political spectrum, but it’s become a point of bonding between us in the year since I started watching the show and I’m grateful for that. 

of course, since i’m terminally on tumblr and ao3, I also started to dive into the fandom of south park. I had heard about the whole creek thing years ago and waved it off as a stupid gag but then I realized wait, holy shit, there’s actually a GIGANTIC shipping culture around south park??? at first I got into style because of the interesting concept of post-covid kyle and stan reconnecting after decades apart and not being the same people they used to be but trying to make it work anyway (I even wrote a fic about it ahahaa...) 

but after a while I got tired of the ship because as I watched the rest of the show, I realized their relationship just wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. like they’re best friends but... why? because they’ve known each other forever? they both like video games? they make fun of cartman together? the fact they’re “super-best-friends” is kind of taken for granted by the show and the audience, but imo matt and trey never really explore the intricacies of their relationship very much. y’all can disagree with me on this but idk, all I know is that I got bored with style as a ship after like 2 months.

while scrolling through ao3 and tumblr, I ran across kyman fics/fanart for the first time back in february or so. at first I was appalled because... why the everloving fuck would you ship the blatant antisemite with the jewish kid??? really???? isn’t style a much better choice??? but sheer curiosity got the better of me, so I did what I always do when I’m curious about a ship: select for fics with kyle broflovski/eric cartman, sort by kudos, and read the first result (or in this case the second because the first had creek as the main ship). y’all know which fic that is if you’ve even slightly gotten into kyman. it was interesting, but I personally didn’t see them as the actual characters from the show in that fic. they were fandom versions of kyle and cartman, with their personalities changed enough to fit the standard mlm shipping dynamic that’s popular in fandom spaces (particularly regarding dom/sub aspects). I’ve seen it happen in plenty of other fandoms so I wasn’t surprised, but I still couldn’t see how it could possibly work if one were to use their canon character depictions. 

all the while I was making my way through episodes of the show cuz it’s long af, and over time I became more and more intrigued with kyle and cartman’s relationship. cartman quickly became my favorite character in the show because of how fucking complex and layered his personality is (see my tags on this post), and though kyle despises cartman in countless ways, he still is the only one who consistently tries to find goodness in him, tries to make him change for the better, saves him when no one else will, and remains his friend despite everything. it’s a remarkably complex dynamic.

little hints of kyman started creeping up on me: cartman being frequently queer-coded as a closeted gay kid. kyle getting extremely jealous of cartman and heidi’s relationship. both of them on separate occasions saving the other from death or injury without wanting any credit for it or lording it over each other. “we've been through a lot together, and... maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something” 

needless to say, I started to get it. and then I encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back: “know your enemy” by elsen on ao3. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve read that fic probably over a dozen times. it was shockingly well-written and so in-tune with the style and tone of the show that I was like “is this person spirit-channelling trey parker or something wtf???” and all of a sudden, I could see how, in a different universe, kyman could actually be an endgame ship. 

what sold me on it the most was how in-character it seemed for cartman to be a repressed, denial-ridden sub, especially regarding his desired relationship with kyle. there’s plenty of canon evidence that cartman has a secret crush on kyle (see this vid by johnny 2 cellos), but there’s no way that kyle could reciprocate those feelings, right?? imo kyle would probably rather die than enter a romantic relationship with cartman where he had to submit to him all the time, but if cartman would want kyle to be dominant over him??? where kyle has control and is able to curb cartman’s problematic behavior as he sees fit??? that opens up a whole other door of possibilities.

I think what kyle wants more than anything else in the world regarding cartman is for the goodness he sees deep down inside him to come to the surface, and for kyle to be the one to guide him (or force him when necessary) to becoming a better person through love and patience and inherent understanding of his fucked up little head??? I can definitely see kyle wanting that (especially since I see kyle as a repressed, denial-ridden sadist/dom lmao; see this post for my thoughts on that). 

it was all downhill from there. I found tons of other cool kyman shippers on tumblr and twitter whose writing and fanart helped suck me in even more and I’ve been stuck in kyman hell ever since. special shoutout to the asker for her kyman analysis posts that inspired this fic I wrote! love u boo <3

ANYWAY that’s how I became a whore for kyman lolololol ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ have a nice day everybody