#anyway i saw this irl at target the other day and thought i was losing my fucking mind

[locktobre]

how badly did Princess Adventure flop that they did this LMFAO

[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

[czarojay]

I can’t stop thinking about how Wilbur’s music goes with Wilbur the dsmp character( not the real Wilbur Wilbur, the same thoughts don’t apply to irl Wilbur, don’t worry o/ ). So here it is a post where i’m gonna just talk about my thoughts on this topic. 

Not all songs worked for me like Jubilee line for example, so don’t be surprised they’re not included.

Gonna make it a long post so people uninterested can go on, have a nice scroll across your dash, cya next time :] 

Saline solution, not all the lyrics, but a big majority applies to the smp story of his.  

I think I've lost my mind Blurring the fact and the fiction 

This one i’ve used myself in one of my fanarts and i really think it works well with Wilbur. He’s lost himself in the banishment, unsure of whether they’re the heroes or the villains, until he’s gone insane, unsure of what’s the truth and who’s lying to him. Maybe he’s lying to himself? Maybe everyone is actually a traitor? 

I think I've made my choice I'm a disease playing victim Slip the fate slip the victory I think I've made my choice Sink secluded in hatred Void the plans friends are making I think I've found my voice I'm a leech sucking blood bags Taste defeat, it's a sandbag

This really works way too well in my opinion. Wilbur played the victim for a long time, that he untruly lost his presidentship, despite being the one who proposed the election in the first time. He was a poor overthrown rightful leader, not the terrorist some people viewed him as. 

But in the end he did void the plans friends were making. When Tubbo became the president, he left, he made his choise, he let the victory slip, he decided to throw it all to the ground and blow it up. Wilbur the character, was a leech of L’Manburg, Pogtopia and for a brief moment New L’Manburg. At first a looked up to leader, became a person who manipulates others, causes death and destruction and is the source of problems in the end. 

Your Sister Was Right doesn’t have the same energy to me as the song above does, but I still could quite easily find bits which hit me badly.

I thought I couldn't love anymore Turns out I can't, but not for the same reasons as before I use everyone I ever meet I can't find the perfect match Abuse those I love While I ostracize the ones who love me Back

Wilbur the smp character did abuse and manipulate and use people around him. The first wasn’t as noticeable at first, but in the end, I feel it might have been more emotional rather than physical abuse? It’s hard not to imagine all the ways Tubbo or Tommy could have been traumatised because of Wilbur. The Festival is just one of the examples. Tommy for a very brief moment did consider fleeing. He stayed just because Tubbo didn’t want to go with him. 

After the exile Wilbur started to ostracize people around him. He wasn’t the happy and good big brother to everyone of L’Manburg. He became a twisted man, he didn’t interact with them the same way. They didn’t understand him in the end, did they? They were all traitors, couldn’t be trusted. He was alone, he needed to do this by himself, didn’t he? I’m Sorry Boris doesn’t really feel like I could just take out the lyrics and point at Wilbur and go “This fits”. I’m gonna do it anyways and try to interprete them the best I can! 

I'm not good for anyone here We reached the end of a decade Greenwich morphs into an arcade Southwark turns into a highway Up to hamlets, a tax break Newham, Islington a headache And Richmond's still shit

This could work with L’Manburg. This is the end of this era, isn’t it? All the ideals Wilbur stood for have been abandoned. They don’t fight with words anymore, they use weapons. They’re not fighting against the bad guys, Dream, they became the bad guys, terrorists here. They changed and so L’Manburg has also changed. Into Manburg. The walls are gone, buildings abandoned, the hto dog van devastated, new buildings growing and Manburg looks barely like it used to look like. It’s not L’Manburg anymore and even if they won it back it could never be the same, right?

But they'll knock down the pubs before helping you They'll burn down your towers before helping you They'll charge for your healthcare before helping you They'll let you jump under trains before helping you

If you squint hard enough, this could be Wilbur speaking to Niki. Schlatt taxed her more, Sapnap killed Fungi, Fundy, her friend and co-runned for the presidency, in the end also abandoned her for Schlatt, even if he was a spy. 

Even Wilbur abandoned her, waiting for the right moment supposedly, but taking her under his wing only after the Festival, which was when he would kill her along with countless other people if the button plan did work. She was on her own.

And even though I'm finished I'm not quite done with it No matter how far I run south I'm always there My lovers, my colleagues My best friends and enemies I don't think I want to leave you

This could apply to many things. To how Wilbur was in the room 8 times, yet didn’t press it. To how Wilbur gave countless chances, occasions for the problem to be solved without detonating the tnt. But it could also not work at all, since he wasn’t finished. He said so himself. Unfinished symphony. 

But at the same time, he didn’t want to leave them. He became a ghost and ghosts only stay when they have unfinished business behind. He must have decided he didn’t want to leave them, he decided to stay after his death.

And finally Since I Saw Vienna. The song which pushed my to making this post.

I am not going to copy and paste the whole song here, cause that would be such a bother to read and make sense at the same time, so instead i will just talk about my interpretation instead. And I am not saying this interpretation is the best or the correct one, but it’s how i choose to understand this.

Since I Saw Vienna is about a person of fluid personality, a person who also walks and moves and travels. In the second verse the lyrical subject’s goal are described as " horizon's my target “ and it makes me think of a person who has a goal set in mind and tries to reach it, but can’t. It’s moving so they move as well, trying to reach it (” If I keep on moving, never lose sight of it “). 

And doesn’t that sound so similar to Wilbur? He keeps trying to achieve his goal, but in the end he lost it, he doesn’t know what it is anymore. 

Treating my memory of you like a fire, let it Burn out, don't fight it, and try to move on

And this sounds like Wilboo doesn’t it? His memory problems? He does try to remember, but still it’s a little too close for me, not to think about. 

And finally,

I'll pick up my hiking boots when I am ready And I'll put down my roots when I'm dead

These are one of the rawest lines I’ve seen. Maybe not to all people, but this is the part of the song which hits me the hardest.

This is Wilboo. Wilbur is dead, he moved the whole live, he tried to achieve something, he fought, he lived, he lost, he won and he died. He focused on nothing other than reaching his goal during his life. He said he wanted one day to build a small cottage or wood hut in the forest to retire to one day, but he never grasped any chance to do that, he just kept going, trying to achieve something. 

Really, he settled down only when he died. He’s happy again, as happy as he can be with people being anxious around him and his memory being blank and seemingly becoming more and more empty with each day he lives through as a ghost. Only now, he’s building a house, enjoying his post mortiem life.

He’s putting his roots down only now, when he’s dead. 

[neverendingstories00]

Past The Point Of No Return (Ch.6)

Pairing: Safin x F! Reader

Summary: You feel disgusted after your weekend trip. Safin has made you a shell of the woman you were before, planning to marry you and have his way. Just because he had broken you didn't mean that you couldn't fight back.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, blood, and gunshot wounds

A/N: I really need to go to bed. I keep posting these chappies at like 3am. Like this ain’t good for my mental state but oh well! Safin is going to be the death of me anyways. I also just wanna clarify that I am in NO MEANS trying to glorify or condone this relationship, Safin is 100% psychotic so ladies and gays beware of people like this IRL! Hope you guys enjoy and once again, thank you for the amazing support! 💕

Previous Chapter | Masterlist 

You refused to believe it. There was no way that it could have happened. It all seemed too good to be true. The small grip of sanity that you had left was gone. You felt like your whole body was damaged and scarred by Safin. He took pride in the fact that you were truly his now that you had slept with him. The next night, Safin and you had done it again. You remembered as Safin had his way, you looked at a wax candle on your nightstand. It slowly burned as the wax dripped from the sides. When Safin had finished and pulled you close to him, the fire had gone out.

Just like your fight had.

Returning to the submarine pen, everything was the same as it used to be. Serrano, Safin’s extra flirting, everything. Except for the fact that your wedding date was haunting you. Safin had mentioned it once a day, always asking for advice. He asked what flowers to use, what theme you wanted, everything that a couple would do together for a wedding. You would just nod your head, refusing to say anything. Every night he would come to say goodnight to you, resulting in a full out make out session. You refused to have sex with him again until the wedding night, which you had dreaded.

Safin understood and would chuckle, patting your head. “Your so adorable, y/n. I understand it hard to control yourself. I mean, any man would look at you and lose it. I’m glad I have you all yourself.”

There was no denying Safin had broken you. Knowing that he was responsible for so much pain in the world and that you were going to marry him was mind baffling. Whenever he fucked you, you felt no pleasure or pain. All you felt was nothing. You considered escaping off of the island, but it was heavily guarded. Coming back from your weekend trip, Safin had ordered for you to always be accompanied by a guard around the island, no matter what. You couldn’t even imagine what Safin would do to you if you had escaped for a second time. Not to you, but to your family and friends. Knowing that they would live the rest of there lives unknown to your fate haunted you.

It was selfish of you to do. If you had just stayed put and sucked it up, then it wouldn’[t be so bad. But you were scared that no matter what you do, Safin was going to still hurt thousands. Being a soldier, you put yourself before others and vowed to die for your country. Thinking back your roots, you weren’t acting like a soldier, but a scared little girl. Everything you didn’t want to become was what you were becoming out. No matter how broken you were, you knew what you had to do.

You had to take Safin down. No matter what.

Every day, one of the guards would escort you down to the shooting ranges. He wore a black smartwatch that he would take off as he watched you shoot. You immediately recognized it. Was it crazy to think of a plan? You had to start somewhere. It was risky, but all you could do was wait for the right time to snatch it.

It had been like any other ordinary day as you prepared to shoot down another target, imaging it as Safin’s sick face. You knew the sound of a walkie talkie go off. The solider responded and simply left the room. The seconds dragged onto minutes. You stared at the door with your rifle in hand, trying to detect any footsteps. Placing the rifle down and walking up to the table, you noticed that he had left his watch. Safin’s soldiers weren’t the brightest in the bunch. Picking up the watch, it was the first piece of technology you had held in forever. It was an apple watch, commonly used by the agents at M16. They were used as phones, tracking devices, practically everything a spy needed to do was condensed to a little smartwatch.

The door slammed open. You quickly shoved the watch into your chest and pretended like you had been reloading your rifle.

The guard spun around the corner, tilting his head to the head. “Safin wants to see you.”

“For what?” You asked, following beside him. “I already ate with him.”

“I don’t know. Stop asking so many questions.” The guard grumbled. In response, you rolled your eyes and walked beside him. The guard even noticed that you had stolen his watch. It was all going according to plan. All you could do was keep a low profile.

Safin stood in front of your door, hands behind his back. Upon noticing you, he walks up to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Hello love.”

“Hey...” You muttered, feeling the watch drip down your robe. The guard stood there, a little taken aback. Safin noticed, shooing him away. He grabbed your hand and led you into your bedroom. What the hell did he want?

“Does he make you uncomfortable, Y/n?” Safin questioned, referring to the guard.

You shook your head. “No, why?”

“Oh, I thought he made you uncomfortable. I could always switch a female guard if you please.”

“How about no guard at all?” You proposed. Safin simply chuckled, patting your head. It physically angered you to be around him. All you wanted to do was wipe that smirk off of his face.

“Once we are married, I will be your guard.” He walked around your bedroom, looking at of the books and plants. You simply walked over to the couch and sat to watch it burn. Your [y/e/c] eyes followed Safin as he stalked around the room, taking his sweet time.

“Would you like to use my room or your room for our bedroom?” He broke the silence. You looked straight into the blazing fire, your fists crunching with anger. The thought of your wedding night was going to drive you mad. But you had to persist.

“I thought my opinion didn’t matter.” You stated. A sigh escaped from Safin’s mouth as he walked over and sat right next to you. He placed his hand on your thigh. Attempting to lift it up, his strong grip kept you down.

“Y/n, what is the matter?” He counseled, placing his head on your shoulder. You simply looked into the fire, ignoring him. “You are going to be my wife, of course, your say matters. I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter, moodier, and less energetic than you usually are. Tell me what is wrong so I can make it right. Is it the guards? The stress of the wedding?”

Wedding, what a funny word. The thought made you laugh internally. One wrong move and the watch was going to slip out of your shirt. You stayed still, letting Safin get closer and closer to you. His hand rested on his thigh as his head leaned onto your shoulder.

“Your shaking, you’re nervous. I know the wedding is coming soon and you feel...excited but nervous. I feel the same way, my love. But once we marry, all your pain and fear will disappear. We can start our family and do whatever you want for our honeymoon.”

His lips breathe against your neck before he beginnings to suck on it. You bite your lip as you feel the slide into your pants; the cold metal staining your skin. Safin gently pushes you onto the couch and decorates your neck with kisses. You can feel his erection up against your thigh. No, you couldn’t go through it again.

“S-safin.” Your hands grabbed his shoulders.

He immediately stopped, taking his lips off your body to look at you. He seemed worried. “Yes, y/n?”

“We can’t do this.”

“I thought I was calming you, I’m sorry love.” He apologized, getting off of you.

You stayed laying down, huffing. There was no way you could get up without the watch falling out of your pants. You weren’t a double oh, but your acting skills were going to have to do. “I guess I’m just nervous...I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one apologizing, I’m so sorry.” Safin stroked a few pieces of your hair out your face to admire you. God, you were beautiful in his eyes. He hated to see you so upset. “Love, your eyes..”

The bags under your eyes had returned. Your eyes were puffy and dark from crying and lack of sleep, not from being nervous about Safin. But he seemed to fall right into your trap, just like how you had fallen into his. “I haven’t been sleeping well..I just..”

“Say no more. I will leave you be to rest. Goodnight, my bride.” Safin cooed as he placed a kiss onto your hair. He made his way to the door before turning to catch one more glance of you.

“Y/n, let me promise you this.” His silky voice stated, cool to the touch and pleasing to the ears. “Once we are married, you will be free of all of his. I will make you the happiest woman not through gifts, but through love. You are my reflection in the mirror, the one I have yearned for all these years. I am yours, and you are mine.”

Once the door was shut, you stood up from the couch and felt watch fall from your leg pant. You let out a sigh, grabbing the watch. It was still working, showing the time. Your first priority was to try and track your location. It was going to be tricky since the watch was tiny and not connected to a laptop. But your were determined to bring Safin down.

You opened up the tracking location and waited for it to load. It showed your location, which seemed to be a remote area. Zooming out, you saw that you were on a small island in the middle of nowhere. The island south of you was much bigger, which you immediately recognized as Crete. You had been to the islands before as a child, which gave you a boost in trying to identify your location. Being the southmost island, you assumed you were Gavdos, a tiny island that little tourists knew about. It was also an island used by the Communist Italian party in World War two which explained the abandoned submarine base.

Q had taught you a trick your first year at working at M16. It also had happened to be Nomi’s first year. Nomi was going out on a mission in war-ridden Belarus. Q had set her up with a watch and told her that if she was kidnapped, then all she had to do was enter a tracking code which would alert M16 of her direct location. It turned out to be useful since Nomi was kidnapped and had alerted M16 of her location, saving her within forty-eight hours. It was more of a tip for field agents, but you were thankful that you had that piece of advice.

You entered the tracking code (which you hoped was correct) into the “find my device app”, and waited. Your hands were shaking. There was a chance you entered the wrong code and could be alerting an old woman of a lost watch on an abandoned island.

The ringing had stopped. Bolded words flashed on the screen,

“WATCH HAS BEEN FOUND”

You zoomed into the location and saw that the owner in London had been notified of your location. Q, or whoever got the signal, knew of your location. A smile appeared on your face. There was a rush of adrenaline in your body. It wasn’t forced, but a genuine feeling of joy.

You were going to be saved from this nightmare.

-----

The next few days, you had casually acted yourself. Safin had noticed you were in higher spirits. The man had been so blinded by love, so he assumed nothing of it. As long as you were happy and obeying his every command, Safin was a content man. Within a few days, he could be marrying you, the love of his life. You in a few days would hopefully be off of his god forbidden island, back with your friends and family. Safin would be locked away, just like Blofield. The world would be free of there evil.

Your room had been placed in the farthest corner of the Submarine pen. It was usually peaceful and quiet, yet haunting. After waking up, you opened the doors and didn’t notice the usual guard standing outside of it. You considered it odd but shrugged it off. Maybe Safin needed them for a meeting, which gave you more free time. You decided to head to the shooting range where you found peace. Each hallway you walked down, the only company besides yourself was the dim walls. You decided to take a few rounds with your rifle as a way to pass time.

Two hours had gone by, and there was no sign of human life. You had found this to be rather odd. Safin had thousands of guards in the Submarine Pen. He would casually intrude on an activity you were doing and request to join you. What if something had happened? Maybe M16 had come to the island to save you. It was strangely quiet in the Submarine Pen. Too quiet.

You cleaned up yourself at the shooting range and walk down and up the Submarine Pen, trying to find your way to the main room. All of the hallways were empty, void of life, and sound. You felt like a scared little girl alone in the intimidating and dull Submarine pen. You noticed the familiar stairs that lead to Safin’s meeting room. Instead of being pristine clean, spare bullets had scattered the ground. You saw it as a red flag but were curious. What the hell had happened that you had missed. Walking down the stairs, you noticed it was pitch dark in Safin’s lair. It was never dark in Safin’s lair. No noise came from the room or light. You tried to listen for any signs of life, but there was only a cold silence.

As your foot stepped into the room, the hidden lights flickered on revealing a bloody slightly. The dull room was covered in blood and bodies. Your body froze, unable to process the image in front of you. Bodies of Safin’s soldiers laid on the ground, covered in gunshot wounds. Not only were there the bodies of Safin’s soldiers, but there were military soldiers dead on the ground. It all seemed like a horrible nightmare. Your body began to shake as you froze, your thoughts racing. It brought you back to that fateful day. The building, the humidity, the gunshots. Then the explosion and darkness. You thought you had died, but you were stuck under that rubble, unable to feel your lower body.

“Stalker?”

That name brought back a memory you had forgotten. Nobody had called you that name except for your mates in the military. Stalker was a codename given by your captain since you had a tendency to follow your target before shooting them. Looking up, you see a bloodied soldier with ruffled red hair and widened green eyes.

“Bruiser..?”

Brusier was the only other teammate who survived the bombings in Iraq. He looked more masculine than boyish, growing out a beard and a few wrinkles forming on his skin. Instead of being slim, he put on a few pounds but remained muscular. He looked rather confused. “What the hell are you doin’ here? You gotta run, girl.”

“There’s no time to explain.” You stated, walking over to him. “I-”

“Sergeant Thomas Fraser.” A silky accented interpreted. It was none other than Safin, who looked disheveled and bloodied.  Brusier looks at you, fear in his eyes. The man looked like he had seen hell all over again, which he had. You were better known as “Bruiser” due to your fights with fellow teammates. Many people mistook you for Irish due to accent but in reality your simply Scottish. You were awarded the VC for your bravery in Operation Parachute for saving two hundred refugees and being one of the only two members to survive. Yet, you and I’m sure y/n know that...you didn’t crawl out of rubble or kill the culprits..”

“What the hell do you want?” Bruiser cursed, shifting in his chains. His eyes darted over to you. “More importantly, what is she to you? She’s just some damn receptionist at M-”

Safin pulled out a pistol, shooting the floor an inch away from Bruiser’s body. He jumped back in response. Safin wasn’t his normal self, controlled. Instead, he seemed like he was unleashing the monster inside of him.

“Y/n? She’s not a pencil picker. You couldn’t ever process a woman being superior to you in your shallow head,” Safin spat as he pointed his rifle at you. Just seeing you had him lose his mind. You truly looked scared of him. “She deserved Victoria’s Cross more than you ever did. While you had been pulled out of the rubble and reported y/n dead, she had crawled out of the rubble, losing a leg. Awarded for “in the presence of the enemy" when you had run away? That doesn’t sound like a war hero to me.”

“Safin, please,” You begged, pointing at him. Bruiser was feeling all kinds of emotions. His team had been all killed for a second time as he was threatening to be killed by the world’s most feared Anarchist. “He’s not worth your time.”

“Y/n, stay out of this. This isn’t your business.” Bruiser barked. Safin death stared him, shooting another bullet os acre him off.

“Keep your mouth shut, boy.” He snarled, feeling like a wild animal. Y/n slowly began to away from him, knowing that she was walking a fine line. Safin saw her fear and lowered his gun, walking toward her. Instead of looking insane, his expressions had softened. “I’m sorry, Love. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Bruiser looked over at you, utter confusion in his face. You see him and try to explain, but Safin had beat you to it.

“I took y/n from M16 to save her. M16 never deserved such talent or did the armed forces. I didn’t kidnap her to keep her as a slave or a bargaining chip. Just like you had said, she’s a fighter. At first, she hated me, cursed me out, and refused to obey my commands. But over time..she learned to love me. We plan to have our wedding soon.”

Safin’s slow steps were getting close to you. You backed away, shaking your hands. “Bruiser, that’s no-”

“It is the truth. You even say it yourself, you needed me. You wanted me. So I did what any man did and gave you the pleasure you had desired. I’m certain it was more of a better experience than what Bruiser that ever given you.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The Sergeant said. Not at Safin, but at you. You were at a loss for words. How did Safin know about you and Bruiser’s affair? It was only a few hookups, friends with benefits. But after your discharge, you hated Bruiser and he was well aware of it. There was no way you could normally explain this.

“Please, Thomas.” You feel like your begging at this voice. “I can tru-”

You hadn’t even noticed Safin was an inch away from you. As you tried to explain, he grabbed your wrist and brought his lips onto yours. He wasn’t as gentle as he usually was, but aggressive and hungry. His hand was firm on the small of your back, holding you close. Your hatred for Safin was beginning to show. Kicking him off, you slap him. “Get off of me!”

Safin holds his cheek, in shock that you would strike him. He chuckled, looking up at you. “Y/n, you promised to be mine. The world will now.”

“Your fucked up, y/n. Both of you.” Bruiser cried, moving away. Everything was happening to quickly. “Y/n, you really turned out to be this way? A double agent?”

At this point, tears are streaming down your eyes. You have no idea what to say. “N-No, I’m not. I was kidnapped, please liste-”

“There is no need for words, you two,” Safin added. He walked over to you and grabbed your hand, placing a gun on to it. He positioned your arm to point the gun at Bruiser. Bruiser saw this and squirmed, tears now coming from his eyes.

“He knows too much. The world will know you are a double agent. You know what to do.”

The cries and pleas of Bruiser start to mess with your head. You turn to Safin, shaking your head. “He has a family. A wife, a child. Pleas-”

“Fucking SHOOT HIM!” He yelled. You shivered down as tears streamed down your face. You couldn’t kill Brusier, no matter how much you hated him. After your discharge, you swore only to kill if needed.

“You WHORE!” Bruiser yelled as his voice croaked with pain and betrayal. “I saved you! I could’ve left you to fucking get crushed by that rubble. God, I should have so you wouldn’t end up with that thing. You’ve lost your fucking mind, y/n. Did you and your boyfriend plan all of this to happen? Most likely. I hope those asshats at M16 fuckin ki-”

A gunshot rang through the room. You had let go of the trigger. The bullet flew straight into Bruiser’s head. His words became slurred as blood gushed from his head. As his body fell backward, his legs twitched before going still. All of the discord had gotten to your head. Safin’s yelling, Bruiser’s curses, all you wanted to do was stop all the madness.

“No...FUCK!” You cursed, running over to Bruiser. Now he was dead because of you. It was taken out of hand. Blood oozed all over the flowers and onto your hands as you pushed him up. You kept shaking him, begging for him to wake up. But you knew it. Bruiser was long gong. Not because of Safin, but because of you.

Footsteps approach behind you. It was Safin. Dropping Bruiser’s lifeless body, your eyes burn into the gunshot in his head. It went clean through his forehead. His green eyes had rolled into the back of his head, blood coming from his nose and mouth.

“Get up, y/n.” Safin demanded. “It had to be done. He knew too much.”

There was one more bullet left in the pistol. Your finger fiddled with the trigger. You hear Safin

but refused to respond. He wasn’t your love, boyfriend, or husband. All Safin was to you was nothing but a heartless monster.

Grabbing your shoulder, Safin hisses, “Don’t make me rep-”

As you turned around, you shot Safin. You attempted to shoot him his chest, but ended up shooting his arm. As he hissed in pain, you scrambled to your feet and began to sprint. Your life depended on it. Running down countless hallways, you could hear the yells and rushed footsteps of soldiers. Due to Safin’s orders, they weren’t allowed to shoot at you. If you could just make it to the outdoor exit, then you would be free and never see Safin or the cursed island ever again.

There was a sharp sting in your thigh. Everything started to become numb as your vision blurred. The world spun as you slowed down, grabbing the nearest table but falling on your face. Your arms try to move you forward, but there is no power in your body. One of Safin’s goons had shot you with a tranquilizer. Your body fought to stay awake, to fight. But then you realized that there was no fight left in you as everything went black.

-----

“I cannot believe you!” Safin stated. The guards had Tranquilized you and placed you in a cell in handcuffs. “You deceived me! Was this all to break us apart?

You looked away from him, huffing, “Yes, it was. I want to far away from you as possible. Maybe if your men weren’t boys, than I wouldn’t have been able to hack the system. Face it, Safin, you’re done for.”

“Done for? You are not thinking, woman. M16 sends a military unit to kill me, and all of my men kill every single one of them. Even your little boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” You snorted, walking up the cell bars to get up in his face. “It was a hook up for fuck’s sake. I’m sorry I’ve been with other men. Atleast he didn’t kidnap me and force me to be his bride.”

‘I DIDN’T KIDNAP YOU! I SAVED YOU FROM THEM!” The anarchist exploded. You stepped back, startled by his yelling. As much as your body wanted to respond, you knew it was best to keep quiet. The soldiers behind him were just as startled as you were.

Moving his hair back, Safin looked back at you, eyebrows furrowed anger in his bluish-green eyes. “You promised yourself...You will be mine...You will be my wife. If you believe M16 will save you, don’t live on false hope y/n. I’ll kill all of them. Every last one. Whether you like it or not, you are going to marry me and be by my side, forever. I am not losing you so easily.”

“You have NOTHING left to lose.” You retaliated as you felt fury fume at your cheeks. Safin had enough of your bullshit. He yelled at the guards to keep an eye on you and expect orders from him later. Some of the guards had followed him while two others stayed behind, watching your every mouth.

Backing up against a wall, you slid back down and looked at the dark ceiling. You were officially done. Where you becoming Safin? There was blood on your hands now. Bruiser was an awful person, but you never would harm him. But you did as you shot him clean through the head. M16 had sent a team to retrieve you, and Safin killed every single one of them. Even if M16 came, would they stand a chance against Safin? Would Bond and Nomi truly die? All because he didn’t get to keep you for himself.

Safin was right. You were far past the point of return.

[onceuponakdrama]

Crash Landing On You KDrama Review

—

—

Bingo Card for Crash Landing On You

Synopsis: Yoon Se Ri [Son Yejin] is an heiress to a conglomerate in South Korea. One day, while paragliding, an accident caused by strong winds (and a tornado) leads her to make an emergency landing in North Korea. There, she meets Ri Jeong Hyuk [Hyun Bin], who is a North Korean army officer. He tries to protect her and hide her. Soon, Lee Jung Hyuk falls in love with Yoon Se Ri. 

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 8 out of 10

I was actually pretty invested throughout the entire drama. There wasn’t much I skipped, unless it was giving me secondhand embarrassment. Seeing the divide between the North and the South actually came into play for more than just the romance; there was the tension and threat that Cho Cheol Gang and the military director that come into play with the power dynamics. It was also interesting to see how was affected by the political relations, not to mention the role Se Ri plays as an heiress and CEO and Jeong Hyuk as the son of the Military Bureau. It did make things more dramatic, especially since when one was in the North vs the South and they weren’t allowed to be there and the risk of getting caught made things interesting. However, there were a few aspects that made me a bit tired. 

First things first: the whole plot with Cho Cheol Gang was drawn out for too long. It wasn’t really clear as to why he was so obsessed with taking the Ri family down other than to gain more power. The writers kind of wanted to try to give him some sympathy when he was talking about how he had nothing to lose because he grew up as a child beggar, but it was not working on me. I only felt upset when he died because he wasn’t going to be punished for the rest of his life for targeting Se Ri. If he was going to die, it should’ve been earlier. Anyways, I got really tired of him as the antagonist and the writers should’ve taken care of him earlier or made him more interesting as a character rather than just the antagonist. 

In the beginning, it was actually a really good pace. My only thing about Se Ri in the North was the fact that it took so long for her to get back. I understood that it’s not easy for her to get back, but they dragged it out for so long and I felt disappointed when they couldn’t get her over. I know it was also supposed to set up the couple and have them spend time together, but I was more invested in the fact that Se Ri was supposed to inherit the family fortune and company and I was interested as to how she was going to get that back and she couldn’t get it unless she returned. I don’t know though; that was just my opinion. 

Characters: Rating - 9 out of 10 

↣ Yoon Se Ri [played by Son Yejin]: okay, I absolutely loved her. She gave me major Cheon Song Yi vibes. Her confidence, her vibes, and her everything made me simp so hard for her. I also loved her development on her thoughts on romance and family. It’s very clear through the comparisons of having her wait for someone, relying on someone to help her, etc. I love an independent woman, but I also love seeing her understand that she doesn’t have to be strong all the time, especially considering how much bullshit her family put her through. I also loved that she had a life for herself in North Korea as well because she made friends with the ahjumma ladies from the neighborhood. There’s just so much I loved from her character and growth and I felt so much for her. 

↣ Ri Jeong Hyuk [played by Hyun Bin]: okay, I have never loved a man more. I know most of the viewers felt the same about him in the sense that he’s such a soft character and, at the same time, a strong character. He also had great development too, in the sense that he opened himself up to love and vulnerability that he didn’t get to feel after his brother died. He also felt that sense of responsibility to protect someone he loved because he was unable to protect his brother. God, I just have so many feelings for him. I loved him as a character and how soft he was for Se Ri and his comrades. But there was also the side where he was so charismatic and.... wow. What a man. 10/10 would recommend. 

↣ Gu Seongjun [played by Kim Junghyun]: I felt conflicted about him. I felt bad for him as time went and felt even worse when he was killed. It was still a good character though because he also had a lot of development and it was clear he was conflicted about the things he was doing and things he was seeing. I was also interested as to his relation with Se Ri; I liked it when the three teamed up, but I wished we got a chance for Se Ri to know that Seongjun passed—he did help her out after all and she let him go after he stole her brother’s money. The writers should’ve given him a happy ending, whether it’s faking his death to escape North Korea or something. He deserved so much better. 

↣ Seo Dan [played by Seo Jihye]: for Seo Dan, it took a while for me to like her because she was centrally framed as the second female lead that just wanted to break up the main couple. She was similar to Se Ri, in the sense that she was very confident about herself and knew how to assert herself—but she was just so insecure when it came to Jeong Hyuk and that made me upset. She also was written as the “I saw him first” girl and I did not like that. I was also upset that instead of giving her a chance of happiness with Seongjun, the writers killed off her love interest for her to be more secure about being single. There’s nothing wrong with her being single, but I don’t think she should learn that as her love interest died in her arms, like. Bruh. 

Personal Notes: I absolutely loved the ducklings squad (Captain Ri’s comrades) and their dynamics with both Se Ri and Jeong Hyuk. I felt so bad for them when they were being separated and then when they were wandering around Seoul because Se Ri would have really taken care of everything for them. I also loved Man Bok and how he was just listening to these conversations and reacting to them. I’m so glad he got the happiness he so deserved and got to move past Cheol Gang. I also loved seeing the side stories with the ahjumma ladies and how they were surviving. At first, they felt like average Asian moms, but seeing as to how they were all close and how they cared for one another melted my heart. There were so many good characters, protagonists and antagonists, because they all played some role with the plot and their relationships with the main characters. 

Romance: Rating - 9 out of 10 

Oh my God. I can’t remember the last time I rooted so hard for a couple. I absolutely loved them and I cried so hard during the last episode. From the separation, the stand-off, and when they got back together.... there was just so much to root for. I already said this, but seeing Jeong Hyuk be so protective of Se Ri and vice versa was so cute—especially since they didn’t really have someone to be there for them before. All of their scenes are absolutely precious. The only reason it wasn’t a 10 out of 10 was when Jeong Hyuk tried to do the stupid kdrama thing and dump her to protect her, only to cause her to collapse and she falls ill. Other than that small note, they were very refreshing—their chemistry was clear (as noted, considering the actors are dating irl) and I think the writers did a good job of making the audience root for them to get together even though it was nearly impossible considering the political relations between the North and the South. We love a forbidden romance. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

I felt that there were some characters that could have been better written, even if they were secondary characters. These mainly include antagonists, but Seo Dan is also kind of included (as noted on the character section). Again, I really loved the little found family aspect (the one with the soldiers and the ones with the neighborhood ladies) and seeing as to how they progress throughout the drama. There were a lot of side characters I liked and understood. However, some of the antagonists really felt a bit unnecessary. I know they’re written to be unlikable, but some of them were really questionable. The major question is directed at some of the higher officers: what did they have against Ri Jeong Hyuk and why was he constantly targeted? There was no real motivation. I get that it’s supposed to drive the plot, but it didn’t really contribute anything major and felt unneeded. Other than that, I loved all the other side characters and seeing their lives progress as time goes—it was also interesting to see as to how it connected with the major pieces or branched from the major plot. One other note I wanted to include was Seo Dan’s family and how supportive they were. Her mom was kind of annoying at first, but, by the end of the day, she actually just wanted her daughter to be happy and nothing else mattered and I loved that. Her uncle was hilarious and seeing their little family dynamic was good comedic relief compared to what else was happening in the drama. 

Additional Notes: 

The Scenery/Atmosphere - I really loved the camera work and the colors of the scenes. While dramas like Record of Youth had a nice aesthetic, I think the colors was something that was really nice and worked really well. You can see this specifically when Se Ri goes from South Korea to North Korea. It’s really the attention to details that got me and seeing how the physical environment shaped the drama. 

I mentioned it earlier but I’m still upset that they killed off Seongjun, especially after all that build-up they had for him. They really killed him off on the 15th episode on a series that was 16 episodes long. This just sucked considering how much he had helped out Se Ri and Jeong Hyuk, along with his developing relationship with Seo Dan. It felt like the writers were testing out to see what would happen if they did kill off someone for the sake of the drama. The writers kind of screwed up on that one. 

The Ending - I personally really liked it. It was realistic in the sense that they couldn’t be together because of where they came from, but there was some of plan for them to get together eventually. It was heartbreaking to see them separate, but it was bound to happen. I did like the idea of them getting together in the place that brought them together—although the year long text messages made me cry and the waiting for him to show up broke me. It was still very satisfactory for the main couple and we already know my thoughts on the secondary couple [they 100% deserved better]. 

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

Recommended? 

↣ Yes: I think there’s a lot to like about this drama. It’s very romance-centered with very likable characters that you root for. There’s a lot of tropes used, but it actually works. There’s also the aspect of found family vs blood-family, considering how rich families function and those who actually cared about Se Ri. There were also a lot of interesting side plots, so you would never be bored watching the drama throughout. Many twists and turns take place and it made for good entertainment; again, it was kind of tropey, but the writers kind of were just giving the audience what they wanted, so I can’t complain. 

↣ No: there’s a lot of political context, if you want a drama more focused on the romance and romance alone, you probably shouldn’t watch it. Some of the side plot focused on the North Korean military and it did bore me, but you had to pay attention because it actually mattered to the major plot. There are also some parts where it feels exhausting to watch, such as the beginning relationship of the main male lead and the secondary female lead, there’s the pop-up proposal from Seongjun (which came out of nowhere), the fake break-up sequences to try to protect one another, etc. There’s also a lot of emphasis on the heir fortune, so that means a lot of family drama that involves near attempted murder—which is also frustrating to watch. There also should have been a trigger warning, in the sense that Se Ri had a depression period, to where she was borderline suicidal. If you can’t handle any of these things, I don’t suggest watching it. 

[imadethisatage11]

Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw

Spoilers under the cut

TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me

- ok so that woman got robbed and for what

- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???

- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao

- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you

- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️

- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu

- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF

- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽

- ayo Max Minghella

- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock

- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue

- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID

- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?

- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make

- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct

- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what

- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao

- oh yay they did run dental

- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing

- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke

- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?

- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend

- Samuel L Jackson!

- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”

- daddy issues

- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??

- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream

- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy

- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts

- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit

- love the blue tones tho very Saw

- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green

- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)

- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs

- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao

- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces

- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet

- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?

- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose

- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then

- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with

- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)

- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit

- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it

- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged

- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly

- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or

- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀

- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website

- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet

- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho

- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY

- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK

- everyone else at the crime scene: ….

- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”

- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole

- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right

- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me

- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?

- was this abt his dad the whole time???

- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society

- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with

- there’s a body here suspended

- not hanging mind you

- but covered and suspended

- and I bet it’s the newbie

- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing

- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was

- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?

- I think it’s too late pal

- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though

- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive

- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??

- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun

- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB

- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”

- what a fun villain though

- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella

- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??

- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe

- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke

- shot the target! Good man

- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn

- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is

- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery

- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon

- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad

- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music

[cryingclown27]

Truth is therapy doesn't work when you have extreme issues and you're being selective in what you talk

I'm going to talk about things here which I cannot talk about to anyone else. Not because I don't want to, but because I have a feeling that it won't make me any better but it'd definitely make the person I'm talking to judge me so much and maybe even scar them

Why now, you ask? I honestly don't know. It's been ages I'm bottling things up and this is the only place out of people's sight. At least out of the sight of people who know me irl

Where should I even begin. Let's start with me being bi. I've had shitty relationships with guys in my school. Most of them bullied me, one even choked me in front of everyone else and no one stopped. I was crying almost everyday. I couldn't defend myself. I weighed about 90 pounds and got hate for that among a lot of other things. I didn't understand why I was being targeted, I tried to be a good guy. What did I do? I didn't complain, I couldn't complain, that'd only make me getting more bullied. Anyway, I tried to forget about that life as soon as I got out that place.

Let's talk about the expectations on me. I had an abnormally high curiosity and bizzare intelligence from a very young age. I wrote stories when I was 9, I cleared some of the toughest exams when I was in school, in the middle of my life getting fucked by my classmates. I started early in school and I'm always the youngest in the class, which of course became another reason for bullying me. So there was a lot of expectations on me. Parents, teachers, relatives who don't know jackshit about me wanted to see me succeed so that they get that euphoria. And one time, THE one time I actually failed, everyone loses their shit. I'm suddenly the rebel and outcast for doing things that I liked. I guess this is the same issue in many Indian houses so why am I even complaining about it right?

Let's talk about college. It took me so long to be friends with someone. I couldn't make friends because I already had anxiety without me even knowing about it. I had a phobia where I get scared when people touch my face, the reason for which is my school for a lot of reasons. So I stayed away from people for the most part of my first two years in the college. But there were some people who looked above the bad in me. I liked to be with them and eventually fell in love with a girl I was not supposed to have fallen. She was my best friend's ex and I was a bad and selfish person. I lost all of the friends because of that, so there's that. It felt worth it as long as I was with the person, but she started falling for someone else. I blame myself for that, I'm such an awful and boring person. I went away for a while and it fucked up my whole mental health. I was not happy and I had no one to talk to. I should've taken therapy at that point itself I guess. But no, shit went south from there.

Let's talk about friends. The people I was friends with were awesome people. I was the misfit there. So I switched groups. I was happy for a while but then they also saw me as an outcast. I didn't belong there and I knew it. I was losing my shit when actually I was smiling on the outside. That's where I realised that no one actually likes me. Everyone hates everything about me. And I don't blame anyone but me. I did some things which looked bad to all the people around me. Truth is, I was trying to belong, still trying. Somewhere I actually could be happy. So I was jumping ships, switching friends, pretending in front of everyone. I'm not complaining, I never want to. I wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible, because everyone hated me. And I mean EVERYONE. This happened to me once, I thought I could take it again, so I did. For a while. Then as usual, shit went south from there.

Finally, let's talk about why I'm doing this now. I don't know what I can call it. Someone in school, who used to be my friend, who was a good person to me in the beginning, someone who I was in a relationship with turned against me. I cut him off after a few days of being in a relationship and that's when things got scary. For a few days, he tried to get back with me nicely and then he started forcing. I don't know how to talk about it because I'm not sure how I'll describe it. I started moving away from the guy and he kept forcing himself on me. I tried as much as I could, but honestly I really could've used some help. I really should've talked to someone, but I was scared. I was a small kid who is being abused by someone of the same gender and bullied by almost half of my class. I didn't want to come out as it'd give them one more reason to pick out on me. There was one night I particularly remember when the guy put his dick in my mouth when I was sleeping. I really don't know how I survived in the same class after that and I honestly don't want to. And it is still my fault, I guess. I shouldn't have let someone get close to me like that. I feel bad about myself for doing that. Anyway, I ran away from that so I'm cool now.

But something still bothers me. Every person I want to get close to gives me a feeling that they'll leave when they realise how sensitive, boring and stupid I am. Trust me, even I don't like myself at all.

I'm fine now, because everything I've been running from is in the past. At least that's what I feel. And if anykne actually sees this, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to read this. Seriously. Because this felt like the only safe place. And I will delete this whenever I want to because fml.

But it is really hard, hiding a part of you, covering up physical and emotional trauma that happened in your childhood and pushing away people because you're fucking scared all the time. I feel like everyone is watching me all the time and honestly that kills me from inside. But I smile. If I don't, people will notice and even ask what's wrong and I can't tell them all this shit. I honestly want to end all this. Sorry, self deprication is becoming common these days.

Would this change anything? Definitely no.

Would this help me? Probably not.

Would this stop me from killing myself? I'm not sure.

One thing that I know is I'm a bad person but I'm trying to change. There was one person with me through all this and I'm greatful for her. Now she's trying to kill herself too. Depression is real and it fucking sucks so much. I don't think that I'll ever be normal. However much I want to, the depression, anxiety and paranoia will NOT go away.

But I won't give up. I won't stop trying to be a good person. I WILL keep running from everything good and bad in my life. Because, as someone once said, eventually all our graves will go unattended.

[writhingcreature]

so... I just finished Camp Camp

Prepare for another theory. Warning: major much many angst and SPOILERS ofc

Okay! So I personally thought I was EXACTLY like David and my friends who were also in the fandom and knew me IRL (@david-campcamp-max) agreed. Later, once I finished, I felt like Max and I had a lot of parallels too. Which made me think. If I am the way I am because I’m so much like Max and I’m (actually, seriously) EXACTLY like David.... does David have any parallels with Max?

The more I looked into it, the more sense it just seemed to make

Let me point out some things.

I feel like David got emotionally abused or felt a lot of abandonment or was neglected all his life. Maybe even bullied by other kids? He’s small. Skinny. Easy target. A popular body build for bigger, meaner, thicker kids to pick on. He’s not all that tough or mean either which would make him even easier a target, even if he was tall as a child like in adult life.

Between his parents, school experiences, or even previous camp visits might have created a very Max-like situation for him. His parents might not have cared, or the kids cared too much in the wrong way. Something that detached him from other people.

This causes him to lash out and be the “Bad Kid” we see in the episode where Jasper “dies” (insert infiltrate amounts of theories here as well) at the end. It would make sense then that’s David treasured the badge so much, even if it represented a sad change in his life. If David lied about the happenings of back then, he saw a fellow camper die (or found his body) or lost someone he probably considered a good friend the second he went good, since Jasper went bad right after. As David continues to love the camp, Jasper starts to despise it. So why would David love to remember that day?

Maybe because receiving all the attention and celebration and support and love from other people affected him so much that it made everything else not matter? Maybe that’s why he’s even so endlessly stubborn about being kind and gentle to Nerf? A kid who was just a victim of categorizing and prejudging and lack of caring, same as him??? Maybe????????

Experiencing the good attention and appreciation for the first time (I honestly think that his parents were neglectful AND his fellow peers were mean so it’s even more of a change for him) versus the nastiness and anger and bad attention (or lack thereof) he’s previously used to

It would also explain and parallel with how he reaches out to Max especially sO MUCH. Because he gets it. He understands him. He’s used to people not caring. He’s used to people being negative, which, if you think about it, also explains why he’s so good at handling when Gwen get in worse moods or Max lashes out even worse than usual.

Which also ties into why he’s so oblivious to Mr. Campbell’s evils or Daniel’s insanity. Maybe he’s just blocking out negativity. Forgetting certain details. Looking over others. He ignores Daniel’s warning signs because there’s another person who’s as happy as him and he’s desperate to find someone like that so much that he doesn’t even care who it’s from. It’s not until he’s getting ignored himself that he lashes out at Daniel. Getting ignored AGAIN after years and years of being ignored. Getting ignored again after he finally found a spotlight and Home at Camp Campbel. Maybe even found a father figure in Mr. Campbel himself. And who wants to see even the most obvious faults in the one man who actually meant soemthing to that person in a good way? Maybe that’s even why he lies to the authorities about Mr. Campbell.... even though David hats lying. Despises it. He’s so blind to Mr. Campbell’s faults that he overlooked all the happenings when Jasper (fell/died/got lost/whatever theory you have insert it here).

He’s so desperate for that solid person in his life he’ll look over little details. The knife that he lost certaintly would have heard leave it’s sheath. The words that he most certaintly would have heard come from Mr. C’s mouth. And he’s so desperate for a solidly good day and experiences in his life with reviving the medal and attention that he’s willing to ignore and wipe over possibly very important details. Jasper dying. Mr. C possibly killing him. Finding Jasper’s corpse. Anything along those lines which coincides with any theories that follow.

These bad things may also remind him of his past, causing him a lot of pain. Mr. C not caring. Or even being evil. Jasper dying, or leaving him, or shutting him out, or whatever happened between him and Jasper after that day. Daniel - the only other cheery person at camp - being insane. So he pushes it away. Ignores the signs. Pretends it’s all good Nd okay because it He lets himself think even for a second it’s not he’s going to lose his shit and fall back into past memeories that actually hAUNT him.

He clings to any shred of happiness and stability he can fin... even if it’s not there in the first place

I think that he would, then, see himself a lot in Max. This is why he opens up tot the younger boy when he’s feeling more weak or expresses so much about how he cares. That’s why he constantly, continually, eternally cares in general. Because no one else every did and he doesn’t want any of his campers, friends, or fellow leaders to ever feel like he did

He craves to be for everyone what he needed himself but never had. That true, honest, REAL goodness in someone else.

This would also explain why he likes camping so much too. He had misery at school and loneliness at home, but at camp? At camp he’s a hero. At camp he’s a leader. At camp he matters. At camp he’s important and good and happy and everyone secretly loves him, even if they won’t admit it. At camp he’s important and amazing and endlessly happy and untouchable. He’s so cheery and un-upset-able he even drives Max crazy

Anyway, that’s my theory. Just a way that David is smart and normal and real, but also makes sense. No one can be THAT dumb and THAT oblivious... unless they were doing it on purpose....

HAVE A GOOD DAY!! CAMPE DIEM!!

[herotheshiro]

i didn’t know where to post this -- here or on my other blog where i’ve moved my fandom ramblings but i’ve decided to put it here since it kind of touches on more personal topics/feelings. jk i wrote it all out and i didn’t really touch too much on personal stuff so into the fandom blog it goes. also putting it under a read more bc it ended up being pretty damn long wow

recently had a sort of issue/not-issue on twitter where i kind of openly expressed my dislike for this one character. no essay backing up why i dislike them, but i do have my (valid) reasons and i tend to be kind of semi-serious w my hate so i didn’t think too much abt swinging my opinions around. and also since this twitter is a recent development, i’m more used to tumblr where even if you openly express an opinion, you have a ton of character space to utilize to explain your opinion so you tend to explain yourself anyway unlike twitter’s limited character tweets where you basically just express your opinion and that’s it. anyway i might have gotten a little carried away since i don’t really interact w anyone in fandoms anymore and only w my fam member who we enable each others’ opinions and put my opinion on my bio and i think that along w my tweet trail led to potentially being vagued abt by a twitter account that mostly posts abt that fandom. i still have reason to suspect that /i/ wasn’t the sole target of the vagueing (if even) bc they said some stuff abt this character’s negative opinion that apparently someone expressed that /i/ never overtly said (like he’s evil and bad simply bc of how he treats this one person but i never said that, just implied that he’s a general asshole and maybe his relationship w this one person isn’t as good as i’ve seen previously from the fandom which is what i’ve deduced from reading canon content). since they never mentioned names or twitter handles explicitly, i purposely made some tweets (still being open, no censoring on purpose) to try to get a direct response and also low-key targeting the vaguers (out of my paranoia that they were indeed talking abt me which honestly prob not but also it’s a relatively small eng-speaking fandom involved w this character so they have to have stumbled upon me at one point). i did get a response (not from the vaguer(s)) from someone calling me out for not censoring my open dislike of this one character. but i also suspect they knew abt my dislike of this one character stemming from their interactions w another character bc they started talking abt shipping even though i never mentioned a ship in those tweets (but i did mention the latter character though not in conjunction w the former). anyway i felt the familiar heat of embarrassment upon seeing that notif of their callout but i almost immediately felt better abt the entire situation bc i finally got the direct callout i was waiting for and i knew what i needed to take down. direct and clear action

in hindsight after i made a series of vagueing tweets last night lol i feel like this entire situation is just me creating unnecessary drama and wildly hitting even ppl not even involved at all (as noted by the callout which was supposedly having non-involved randos in mind) just to make myself feel better or something which isn’t really respectful in any way (and i was totally open abt me just swinging wildly after the callout and my ensuing taking down of posts. this isn’t even a private twitter where ig it’s apparently socially acceptable to talk abt shit like that). and also makes me think maybe i never really learned anything from being online for almost my entire life. a weird part of me has always wanted to become fandom-famous online but i’ve never succeeded in doing so nor have i made an online group of friends i can bounce my opinions and headcanons off of. so i’ve never really developed an online community, i’ve always just been on the fringes and yelling into the mass without getting much attention. now ik that apparently twitter does indeed chuck your opinions well into that mass (good and bad i suppose), it’s a bit surprising to actually get “attention” ... i also mentioned this in my tweets last night but i really really dislike getting vagued abt which my psychoanalyzing brain was like “that’s bc you don’t like not knowing what others think abt you irl” and yeah if you got an issue w me i’d prefer you to tell it directly to my face rather than pretend you like me (which is totally hypocritical bc i do the latter to others but also i tend to just swerve ppl i dislike so it’s not like i go out of my way to pretend to be nice to them).

idk where i was trying to go w this bc now that i’m writing it out i’m like wow yeah i’m still in the wrong huh. sometimes i am in the wrong like years ago when i got called out for grossly shipping irl ppl (which yes i will admit i did do once upon a time but now i no longer do it or am ok w it) but i don’t feel like i was in the wrong this time so i just feel a little frustrated abt the vagueing bc if i was part of the group they were vagueing abt then i was definitely painted as someone w no critical thinking skills which i do, i just don’t share their opinion which they think is right (and tbh i wonder if THEY have critical thinking skills bc they said some things in defense of their opinion which i don’t agree with esp if you’re interpreting canon content like that. are we even reading the same content). i do genuinely feel better abt the series now bc before i was literally anxiety whenever i thought of or even saw the related characters. my fam member was trying to talk abt the series to me and they weren’t even talking abt the related characters but i just wasn’t feeling it bc of this whole situation which i literally made abt me even though there was no indication whatsoever it was abt me. this all make me think that i really should take a good fucking long break from fandoms and social media bc it just gives me unneeded stress and anxiety abt cancel culture, trying to be likeable enough to become fandom-famous, seeing hot takes, etc etc. i’ve already been winding down in terms of strongly interacting w fandoms but my mental health has not been doing so hot recently bc of irl things and fandoms are not ameliorating it at all. ik for some fandoms do indeed make ppl feel better but that’s when ppl actually interact w them and they’re not stuck in a bubble of no response whatsoever while ppl may potentially gab abt them outside of that bubble. my issue is that i always feel the need to create when i really get into a fandom and when you create you want ppl to respond to your creations! so you need to interact w the fandom. but then i then want to actually interact w the fandom fr instead of just posting from time to time and staying out of it and you know where that gets me sometimes. i think it’s bc i had a good time in the pjo and warriors fandoms and i want something like that again in new fandoms i’m in but for whatever reason that’s not how it is now.

i didn’t jump into the vagueing tweet mess bc as i said i wasn’t directly called out and also better to just ignore it but i couldn’t get it out of my head. and that’s making me really consider leaving fandom social media and just create fanworks solely for myself without even posting them online. my works don’t really get much response anyway which is fine tbh even having 1 like these days is good enough so it’s not like i’d be losing out. but idk man ... sometimes you just want to share stuff w others. maybe i should just make my own website and put stuff on there w no expectation for likes or whatever. this has also made me re-evaluate whether or not i really do want to go into art professionally. ik this one situation is inevitable w putting your opinion out on the internet and i wasn’t even in the wrong i feel bc it’s not like i have a problematic opinion (racism, sexism, incest, etc) but it has put a damper on creating content to put online even if the content i eventually want to create is original and is in no way associated w fandoms. even as i write that out i realize it’s kind of stupid to have such a damper put on me. i should watch spiderverse again bc that was the film that really inspired me to create my own creative visual content again and also i’ve been feeling really uninspired lately. ik i shouldn’t let this kind of stuff get me down if i really want to create art in the future but it’s hard to deal w sometimes. honestly i really should be seeing a therapist but also wow now it’s delving into more personal territory so i’ll end it here.

tl;dr i need to learn how to chill on the internet and i think i need to create boundaries for fandoms fr and stick w those boundaries for the benefit of my mental health. maybe i shouldn’t have gotten a twitter in the first place lol even if all i made it for originally was just so i could message a proxy on twitter and not to actually get involved in fandom twitter. i didn’t even get the proxied good in the end anyway bc i was forced to cancel the payment by a third party bc the proxy had not sent me the good in months despite them updating relatively regularly on how busy they were as a student. hah that just how it be

also side note i was like to myself “ok you need to chill bc these series’ characters aren’t real. there’s no need to get so worked up over them” but then i realized even that opinion is “problematic” bc there are ppl out there who really use the characters as like idk a therapy object and i’m genuinely not trying to be an asshole i just forgot the specific wording you use. so even if i’m like ‘they’re fake’ there are others who are like ‘no they make me feel better so don’t hate !!’ which idk is a mentality which i think ppl should shift away from bc you can’t be in fandoms forever unless you’re a professional fictional content creator which is also an opinion i think a good number of ppl would disagree w (“they’re not bothering anyone and it’s their life so what are you to say what they should do??”). idk this is my hot take for the day i guess but it’s fine to be a fan of stuff as you grow up but i think it should become less of a focus/active part in your life as you grow older. i mean maybe that’s a cynical way of seeing things bc maybe creating fanwork is a good de-stressor for ppl but i think i feel that way bc i’m not going into creative content professionally career-wise but ... idk what i’m trying to say here. i guess i just have complicated thoughts on fandoms in general.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA 

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

----------

Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

----------

Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

----------

so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

----------

Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous 

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face 

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe. 

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that 

Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

[hos17armageddon]

Tate’s Answers & Closing Statement

Jenna: 

I wish I had talked more about our Final 2 deal, but it was mostly a pre-jury alliance and I wanted to keep that section of my speech fairly short. While I did briefly mention that you and I bonded fairly early into the game, I'll take this opportunity to expand on our final 2.  Our "Macaroni and Cheese" alliance that was created week 1 was instrumental in getting me to the jury phase. You had key bonds in the house that I didn't have, and being aligned with you kept me somewhat safe. You were able to tell me how the house was voting which allowed me to continue my UTR game play. We shared information too. I realize that Agustin and you were friends in this game, but I do hope you know that I loved our conversations and I think we really worked well together. I knew I was never going to be able to beat you in the end, and you were such a strong player. One of my best moves was aligning with you for the first half of the game because it set me up in a position where I had all the information I needed to turn the game around and take control during the trail nominations. P.S. I think I'm pretty cute too wtf :P

Alex: 

Hey dude! From day 1 to the day you were voted out, you were my number 1. Before you were evicted I did want to go to the final 2 with you. You became one of my bestfriends in this game. This may be harsh but at the time I thought that if I kept playing the way that I was, I would beat you in a final 2 scenario anyway. I was never going to turn my back on you. I had many final 2s in this game because I honestly just liked so many people in this cast. I saw benefits to working with almost everyone and these f2 deals worked out for me immensely. Once you were gone, I had to create new final 2s in Keegan and Lauren to keep me safe and in the know.

Zach: 

Hi Zach! I honestly believe that my game was vastly superior for multiple reasons. Firstly, I made gamechanging moves (trail nominations, secret idol play with Keegan) and I made subtle moves (Multiple final 2s, throwing comps to minimize my target). Both of these types of moves allowed me to play a PROACTIVE game. I was always setting myself up to not only be safe for the current week, but for future weeks too. Compared to Agustin who could only hope for REACTIVE moves that weren't even always made by him. I never needed people to use a veto on me, because I was never really nominated. I believe I was never nominated because I made sure that I was always important to the people that had power. Even when you were HoH, I wasn't nominated. I was voted "most likely to win" in Touchy Subjects. In my time playing ORGs, that is usually a death sentence. I was able to overcome that stigma by making sure I was a important piece to other people's game, all while making sure my targets went home. Also, a simple explanation of whose game was better can be broken down to me having 2 comp wins compared to Agustin's 0. I was nominated 2 times compared to Agustin's 6. I beat Agustin in basically every "stat" there is. That plays into why I took him over Ryan. Ryan played a game very similar to mine. I truly think Ryan played a better game than Agustin. I believe that even if you and some other jurors were closer to Agustin in game, you are all fans of the game who will vote for who played the better game. And it is undeniable that my game outclasses Agustin's in almost every category.

My biggest regret in this game was that I didn't talk to you or Agustin more. I think we could have done lot's of things together in this game. But at the same time, I needed some sort of "enemies" to keep my allies thinking I was not against them. You were evicted because we saw you as somebody who had the power to sway people. You are such a likable person that it's hard to go against you. People are drawn to you naturally. That was something that really scared me. James and I never had an official f2, but we had an agreement of the sorts of "you don't put me up, I won't put you up". James hadn't turned his back on me yet, so that's another reason I voted to evict you. I had already nominated you, and you had just taken out my best friend in the house. I just didn't see you in my plans moving forward, and I don't think I was in your either. So I had to strike before you got me.

Adrian : 

Thank you Adrian! I really am glad I had the chance to get to know you better because of HoS, and I cna really see why people say you are a dangerous player now!

1- I thought it was a good time to use it because in a double eviction, lots of things can go wrong. I decided to use it before the veto because  I had a date the next night while the veto was being played, so if it was a twist that would shake up the house, I needed to do it before then. I didn't want to use it before because as you know, my early game is all about being UTR and playing all sides. I didn't' want to force my hand so early.

2- It's hard to say because that week was so early into the game. I think there was a good chance of me going home that week. Obviously nothing is certain but I would say the chances of me getting evicted were probably 50/50. We don't know how the veto would have played out if the noms stayed the same so it really is a crapshoot. If I went out then, the whole season would have been different!

3- Well Jenna and Alex were my f2s in the first half, up until their evictions. I think I would have naturally gravitated towards Keegan/Lauren earlier than I did if Alex/Jenna weren't around in the early game. But I was also working with Elsa/Ryan early but no real f2 deal was ever made.

4- I wouldn't have led Lauren on during f5. I could and should have just been more upfront with her about my plans. She deserved that respect, but I did her a little dirty. I felt like a dick even if I knew it was best for game. I don't like seeing anybody get hurt, especially if I'm the cause. I think she wouldn't have been so hurt if I had just been more honest with her.

5- Yup! I've got lot's of regrets, not so much gamewise, but how I treated people. The Lauren backdoor at f5, I should have been more honest with her. I should have taken the time to get to know people a little more, like more than just as a player in this game (mainly Zach and Agustin) because I really do like everyone here.

Keegan: 

Love you bae! Thanks for the kind words.

Lauren: 

Your eviction was the hardest decision I had to make all game. Even harder than F3. Obviously it worked out because I'm here, but even without being results oriented, I think it was the best decision. I thought that if I was on the block in F4, James or Agustin would vote to save me. I was the biggest threat at F4, and I wasn't super good at comps. I was a real easy vote out at final 3. Meaning either Agustin or James (whoever was in final 3) were guaranteed a spot at final 2 if I was saved. Your eviction set up that scenario for me. I'm also was never 100% sure if you would take me to f2 or not, but even if you did I thought I would lose against you.

Lauren you were one of my fave people I met in this game, and I hope we can stay connected after it's all done. I loved being you partner in ios and I really wish I had the chance to redeem myself with you.

Ryan: 

Jenna - Jenna is such a fun person! She is a true defender of pineapple on pizza so I will always be a stan. My fave thing about my talks with Jenna was hearing all her stories about her and her boyfriend. They are honestly goals. I would love to go out with them if I'm ever back in Toronto.

Alex - My talks with Alex were mainly talking about other orgs that we were hosting or playing in, and the struggles of being in those roles. Alex and I talked a lot of game, but I found it really fun to discuss strategy with him. I learned a lot about Alex and who he is as a person through our strategy talks, like how he likes to find his number 1. Which I think applies to both irl and in game.

Zach - Admittedly, I didn't have much of a relationship with Zach. What I did learn about him in our few talks is that he is such a personable guy. I think in most season's we would have aligned together because we both view the game in very similar ways.

Elsa - I hope Elsa is having a great summer back at home, and she isn't too worried about starting school again! Elsa is such a kind and open minded human being. I can't think of anypoint Elsa saying anything negative about anything. I think Elsa and I would be great friends irl.

Adrian - I've known Adrian prior to HoS17, but Adrian and I had little bit of a rocky host/player relationship going into this game (mostly my fault, sorry for being an ass in Quebec lol). I honestly ADORED being able to talk to him as equals and really getting to know him this season. We talked a lot about work, and I know how hard he was working during this season. His kids week program meant a lot to him so I was happy to see that go well.

Keegan - Keegan and I bonded over a mutual friend. We also talked a lot about work, and our futures outside of work. He sent me so many dog pics I think my compute memory is all used up.  Similar to Alex, later in the game,  Keegan and I mainly talked about the game because we honestly were having so much fun talking about it. From finding the idol, to planning how we wanted the game to go, Keegan was always a blast to talk to.

Lauren - Lauren would rather carry me wedding style than piggyback me :P. Lauren and I became closer and closer as the game went on. Her dog is honestly the cutest.

James - We didn't talk much but we were ALWAYS on the same page gamewise. I see James' personality almost identical to his game (to me at least). He is just a honest straight up guy.

Ryan - I remember our first discussion was about fucking Degrassi LOL. You and me are probably the most similar people in this house imo. We take orgs seriously, but not too seriously. We both are chill dudes that just want to smoke a bowl and see some drama.

I'll be the first to admit I could have done more to get to know everyone. I think getting to know someone is only part of having a good social game. The other part is getting that person to trust you. I think I was in almost every juror's (minus Zach) top 3 for most trustworthy at some point in the game. So in that regard, my social game wasn't terrible.

Closing statement: 

So I think I've said everyting I've wanted to say about my game. I just want to highlight the fact that when all this is over, I'm going to look back at HoS17 and say I was able to not only survive the armageddon, I thrived in it. I never played anyone else's game but my own. I applied for this game because my friend Brett (season 16 winner) sent me the application and told me that this game would suit me well. I just wanted to give him a shoutout and say thank you to him, because he was right! I honestly adore everyone involved with this season. I've had such a great time pulling off #bigmovez and somehow escaping unharmed. I think if you look at mine and Agustin's game, you can easily tell who really took this game and ran with it. I thought I was a goner once I was voted "most likely to win", but here I am at the end.

Love you all. Tatertots out <3