#anyway maybe i'll make a better one but for now this shall do ??

[ashedrose]

––––––– # ASHEDROSE !

+ an independent & private blog for a heavily divergent portrayal of MARGAERY TYRELL written by t based off of grrm's & ( sadly ) hbo's GAME OF THRONES. multiship & multifandom !! this will be a low/medium activity blog.

|| CARRD. RULES. VERSES. CERSEI BLOG.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup

[transmasc-tabris]

More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)

[wittlesissyb4by]

"Hello! I'm Officer Brooks here to make a random inspection. Will you sit down on the bed and lay back for me please? Thank you.

Hmm...let's see...oh! I see you have complied with Matriarchal Code §691 that all male persons are to wear disposable and/or cloth diapers at all times. I can see your wittle diapy poking up out of your pants!

You know, you're the first one I had today that wasn't scrambling to get their diaper on as soon as I walked through the door. I even had to cuff one guy to get him taped up. He'll be given probation and have a court-appointed babysitter, and all of them of course received tickets.

But you? Well...you're a good little boy, aren't you?? How old are you again? 25? Ohh they tend to be quite rebellious at your age. But not you! You've got your diaper on just like you're supposed to!

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to remove your pants and check to make sure your diaper is up to code. I'm sure you know you are to have at least some form of babyish print. Depends and other incontinence briefs are not within the established guidelines.

Let's see...pants down...okay! Ohhh!! Very nice! Wook at the widdle bears!! Did you pick these out yourself?? Awww! Look at you getting all blushy! It's okay!! It's best to not be ashamed. This is the way the world works now.

Oh! And I can see somewon has had a little accident! Actually, maybe quite a few accidents by the look and feel of it!! Have you gotten used to pissing in your pampers yet? I know it's been months since the laws went into effect, but there are some that still feel weird about it.

Okay, last thing. I'm sure you know it's coming, but there's one more thing I have to check, so I'm gonna untape your diaper okay? Can you hold still for me? Goood boy!

Ssssk! Ssssk!

Ohp! And there it is! A nice little cage for your little member! I know it was administered during the Chastening, but you'd be surprised how many men try to tamper with their device. But I don't see any signs of attempted escape.

I have to say, I'm very proud of you! Thank you for being in accordance with the law! It's men like you that are really helping to push this country forward.

In fact, don't tell anyone, but I think you deserve a little reward! Now... if I use my key to unlock your device, do you promise you won't try anything stupid? Are you sure? Do I need to cuff you just in case? Yea, let's go ahead and do that. I like to think you're trustworthy, but you just never know. So why don't you turn over for me...there you go...hands behind your back...good boy!

*clink* *clink*

Okay, you can turn back over. Ohh it must be so frustrating for you, huh? How long has it been now since the laws were passed? 6 months? Your balls are quite swollen and purple. Have you been using other methods to provide relief? Dildo and vibrator sales have gone up tenfold, you know. Perhaps you might look into it.

Anyway, let's get this thing off you, shall we?

Theeeerrre we gooo! Doesn't that feel better? Oh! Look at you! Your little guy is already standing straight up!

Alright, so, I'm only gonna use two fingers okay? Just let me know if I'm using too much pressure. You like that? Does that feel good? Awww! Listen to your pathetic little moans! I bet you're so glad you--

Oh! Oh my!! Are you going already?? You are!! WOW! I...honestly didn't expect that to happen so fast! Did it at least feel good? I didn't ruin your orgasm did I? Oh goodness I'm so sorry! You just caught me so off guard! Well...I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit, but unfortunately I'm going to have to put the cage back on...

Ohhh don't start being fussy now! You've been so good this whole time! Don't ruin it! I tell you what: how bout I put you in a fresh new diaper, and then i'll be on my way? That sound good? Okay. Maybe on my next random inspection, if you're good, you'll get another tuggy. Hopefully you won't cum so fast next time!!"

[duckwithablog]

⋰ ⊹˚. ♡ Alone on Valentines? ⋰ ⊹˚. ♡

I was halfway done before most of this got deleted. I am going to scream cry and convulse on the floor. As it's way to late for me to be awake rn, I'll just do this in two parts, for the sake of my sanity </33

I know for a fact that most of us are probably gonna be spending this Valentine's alone, reading fanfic, and honestly same. But let's imagine for a second that that isn't the case.

The turtles react to you being alone on Valentines Day

GN reader, romantic, crushing/pining, fluff

Raphael

flabbergasted

like that's his initial reaction

i imagine that you guys would just be chilling in the lair, talking, and you slip out that you might be spending valentine's alone

he goes "oh, okay!" before he double takes and says

"wait- really?"

he honestly thought that you would've had a date for valentine's this year

because like... why wouldn't you? you're so attractive, and charming, and lovable, who wouldn't want to date you?

no matter how you feel about being alone (unbothered, sad, etc etc) raph will do everything he can to make you feel better

you don't deserve to be alone! no one does!

so he proudly states that "if you don't have anyone to spend the day with, then raph'll spend it with you! there! now you won't be alone anymore."

he says this all with this big smile

doesn't realize that he basically just asked to be your date

you realize it tho

ofc, you say yes, because who can say no to raph?

and raph just nods to himself, proud, before he processes what he just said

oh. he just scored a date with you.

jaw drops at this realization. OH. HE JUST SCORED A DATE. WITH YOU.

BY ACCIDENT??

vows to make this the best valentine's you'll ever experience

it might be hard, being a giant turtle and all, but by pizza supreme is he gonna try his best anyways

Donatello

bro you didn't even tell him this information

he literally eavesdropped on your conversation with april while he was nearby

pretends to be really engrossed in whatever he was doing while he strains to listen to what you guys are saying

is also confused when he finds out. according to his statistics, you have plenty of qualities that make you attractive. so why are you spending valentine's alone?

forgets that the data he used to make said statistics are based off of his experiences with you. He then considers that maybe not everybody got butterflies in their stomach whenever you were around

BRO HAD TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT NOT EVERYONE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU LMAO

when april leaves the room, he internally goes aha! an opportunity! and tries to make a move

he acts cool as he talks to you, but don't be fooled, he is internally combusting

not so subtly suggests that you should spend valentine's in the lair with him instead of being alone. tells you that not all love is romantic, and as... friends... you guys have a right to celebrate today as well

damn he is not making this easier on himself

of course, his brothers and april are gonna be there too!! obviously!!

you get to spend time with all of them.

... mostly with donnie, though. especially with donnie.

if you agree, he'd say "perfect! shall we call it a date, then?"

say yes. the look on his face and the growing blush on his cheeks is so worth it

[poetryandfluffycats]

Quiz time!

A/N: took a small break but im back and im writing bungo fics. hope you enjoy

Pairing: Kidnapper!Nikolai Gogol x fem!reader

Warnings: dark content, kidnapping, mentions of animal violence, mentions of human violence, implied abuse

Content: Nikolais been keeping you trapped in his basement for 3 weeks now. What does he have in store for you today? You have no idea

Words: 1.0k

Oneshot under cut!

"Oh darling! I'm home!"

The infamous voice of Nikolai Gogol shot through the basement, followed by the sound of his leather shoes creaking against the stairs. My head snapped up from its place on the pillow, watching him with wide eyes as he descended to the bottom of the staircase. The jester had a smile on his face, seeming all too giddy about... something. What that something was, I had no idea.

He was quick to skip over to me, looming over my curled up form under the covers, a hand buried deep into the abyss of his coat. He pulled out a bouquet of pink roses, shoving them under my nose. "For you, my dove" he purred, his voice dripping like sickly sweet honey.

I took them, albeit hesitantly, and examined them with a cautious eye. They were pretty, a light, pastel pink color with a white ribbon tied around the stems, and smelt like heaven. A sweet-but not too strong-floral scent that reminded me of the spring time. It was a nice gift, no one could deny that, but knowing Nikolai...

There had to be some type of ulterior motive.

"Pretty..." I murmured, holding the flowers close to my chest. "Thank you..."

I hadn't spoken much since I got here, only ever really muttering a word or two to keep him satisfied. He talked enough for the both of us, anyway, or at least that's what he had said when my lack of words first was noticed by him.

"Only the best for my sweetest dove! Now, come come, what shall we do today? You're probably just dying to have some fun, right? Aha! I know!" Before I could fully understand anything he had said, Nikolai pulled the covers back and lifted me in his arms, carrying me bridal style as he twirled around the basement.

"Quiz time!"

Quiz time. His way of asking personal questions on the justification that it was 'just a game' and 'there's no need to be shy". Sometimes he'd throw in random questions about Ukrainian literature, to which I almost never got right. I think that maybe he thought that asking a few general questions among all the pervy, personal ones would make me more comfortable, or less likely to catch on to the real meaning behind his game. It didn't.

I hated Quiz time.

Nikolai plopped me down on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of me. His teeth showed as his lips curled upwards into a toothy grin, head tilted to the side and eyes blown wide. Maybe that's just how he always looked.

"Question 1! What is your favorite color?"

It was such a simple question, childish even. Something a teacher would ask their preschoolers on the first day of school. Yet, it made my throat close up, heat beating faster and faster as the seconds ticked by. What was my favorite color? Did I even have one anymore? What was the point in having a favorite color if I was trapped down here?

"Uh..." I stuttered, eyes flickering around the room. Anywhere was better than Nikolais cold, mismatched eyes. "Purple... b-but I also like red"

Nikolai clapped his hands together, a high pitched squeal leaving his lips. "Wonderful! Gosh you are just too cute, I might simply combust! But then you'd be stuck cleaning my brains off the wall which I don't think you'd like very much, so I'll refrain for you, my darling"

Cleaning brains off the walls? He said it so casually, like it was a normal passtime for him. Was it? Probably.

"Question 2! What is your favorite animal?"

This one was easy enough, and a small smile creeped onto my face as I answered. "Kittys, I have a few at home. They're the best little guys"

My heart ached at the thought of my fur babies. How long had they gone without food or water? Without being pat or doted on? Did they miss me? Had someone taken them in or were they sitting at the window waiting for my return?

Would I return?

Nikolai squealed again, his smile growing impossibly wider, the tips of his lips nearly touching his ears. "Cats are adorable! So fluffy and cute and squishy! I would just love to squeeze them until their little heads popped off!"

He suddenly scooted closer to me, the space between us slowly decreasing until our knees knocked together. He brought his fingers up to my cheeks, pinching them as if I was a baby. "Just like you! Squish, squish, squish! So damn cute"

Our noses bumped together as he leaned in closer, those cold eyes hyper-focused on my lips. I felt like I might hurl as his hands trailed down from my cheeks to my waist, his fingernails digging into the flimsy fabric of the nightgown he forced me into my first day here. This was wrong. So, so wrong.

"Please" I whined, tears threatening to spill at any second. "Please don't"

I had been so lucky the past 3 weeks with him not touching me, not with sexual intent anyway. No kissing, no touching, no... sex. Nothing. He would ask his stupid questions, force me to play his stupid games, and lay with me in bed at night, but that was it. But now, it seemed my luck had finally run out.

"Question 3!" Nikolais voice dropped an octave, sending a shiver down my spine. "Now, dove, this is the last question, so make sure you pay extra attention, mkay?"

Not like I had a choice.

"Who do you love the most in this whole wide world?"

There was only answer to that question. Only one answer he wanted, anyway. I had learned the hard way what the consequences of getting it 'wrong' were. It was so degrading, humiliating, dehumanising even, the punishment he had given me for answering with the wrong person. I wasn't keen to go through that again.

"You, Nikolai. I love you the most" I sounded robotic, like a puppet. Which in reality, I kind of was. Just a little puppet in his clown show.

"Correct! 3 for 3, you're so smart! Now, for the reward"

And then, his chapped, cracked, messily painted lips were on mine. It wasn't recpirocated, it wasn't even pleasant. It was gross, slimy, wet like a fish. Maybe I could pretend I was making out with a fish. That would've been million times better than this bullshit.

I hated it.

I hated him.

I hated myself.

[fungalittleweirdo]

chubby!reader × Donnie? he gets a tad bit flustered? maybe a bit of a spicy peice? praise kink🙏🙏🙏🙏

-👾🐈‍⬛️

already writing limes in the sfw blog, are we ?

jules fears NOTHING !!

i love writing this kind of content anyway >:)

if you wanted something higher on the citrus scale i shall direct you to my other blog, @fungalittlefreak where you could get even more specific with whatever you desire !!

i initially wanted to make this longer but i'm swamped with so many things to do, might have a part two if there's demand for it.

one chubby reader x flustered donnie coming right up B)

thank you for the request anon <3

important side note: while i don't deem this as "mature content" i feel more comfortable if anyone 15+ could interact with this post, otherwise please don't read or interact. while i can't force you not to, i hope anyone below 15 years old could respect my wishes.

May I?

It's movie night in the Hamato household and you're invited! April said you didn't have a choice, so here you are contemplating on wearing something comfortable or something cute.

Delivered (18:42 PM): is this too much? i'm bringing a change of clothes because i'm sleeping over

apes (18:42 PM): oooo who are you trying to impress

apes (18:42 PM): god i hope it's not leo

apes (18:42 PM): you deserve better

You shake your head, grinning at your phone as you send your last message to April.

Delivered (18:43 PM): i'll never tell :)

You finish getting ready and grab your overnight bag, heading over to the lair. The clattering and chattering in the kitchen tells you that the brothers would be in there, but you spot Donnie alone on his phone in the projection room. He seems comfortable enough not to wear his battle shell, which you find surprising. You take a step toward him and he looks up, turning to you as you put your stuff down beside the couch. He stops, staring while you move to sit beside him, even though you already greeted him, waiting for his response.

"Uh, yes. H-hello. Greetings. Good evening."

He looks away, then looks at you out of the corner of his eye. You grin and lean in with a smirk. He blushes, then a nervous smile plasters itself on his face. "D-do you need anything from me?" Donnie asks politely, but his eyes darted everywhere, scanning you as if he is committing the way you look right now to memory.

"A kiss might be nice."

The softshell freezes and it looks like his brain is malfunctioning, his face warming at the thoughts racing through his mind.

"May I?"

He reaches up to cup your soft face in his hand. His fingers twitch as if he's holding himself back from holding you firmly. You nod with a whispered yes, leaning in for a delicate, soft kiss. The softshell perks up and a dopey smile spreads across his face after you part, then he leans in for a deeper kiss, the heat on both your faces burning a little hotter.

"Your lips taste so good," Donnie breathes, threading his fingers through your hair at the base of your skull, holding you close as the two of you made out on the couch. "So sweet for me..." He whines, his blush darkening his face even more while he reaches for you with his other hand, holding you against him. His fingers knead the plushness above your hip for a moment, the hitching in his breath apparent. After another minute or so the two of you officially part, noticing the lair has gotten quiet.

You turn around to find nearly everyone with their jaws dropped to the floor, eyes boggled. Donnie sneers, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you against him possessively. The way his hand grips your tummy made you yelp, feeling embarrassed now that the two of you were caught. April snaps a picture, Leo snickers, Mikey cheers, and Raph narrows his eyes in suspicion, then smiles, proceeding to whack Leo upside the head before he moves over to tease Donnie. The Caseys walk in with two bowls of popcorn, Junior has a knowing look on his face while CJ looked on in confusion to the commotion. You sigh with a grin, shaking your head and relaxing in Donnie's arms as movie night started to kick off.

[widowbitessting]

We never got to know how wanda’s dentist appointment went ☹️ could u maybe uhm, write about how it went? 🥹

The amount of searching, reading and re-reading I had to do for this😂 I hope you like nonnie, it dusted my writing fingers off for sure!

This is for the people who need just that extra bit of fluff today xox

Love Livvy

To say it put a damper on Wanda's perfect day, was an understatement.

Day. Officially. Ruined.

All because she has to go to the dentist.

There isn't anything she hates more than going to the dentist.

Except this very moment right now.

Leaving you back in the apartment with Carol, while she has no other choice than to go sit in a chair while a woman sticks her fingers in her mouth.

God, she doesn't like the dentist.

From it's too sterile smell, to the overly cheery receptionist (who blushes every time Natasha speaks to her), to the reclining chair that squeaks every time Wanda sits in it.

Yeah, the dentist sucks.

Wanda is pouting in the car, chin resting on her hand as she glares out of the passenger window.

Natasha sits next to her, one hand on the wheel while her other rests on Wanda's thigh.

Her thumb softly moves in small circles in a way that normally soothes any anxiety Wanda has.

But today it just irritates her.

As Natasha brings the car to a stop, Wanda grips her hand and puts it back on the gear stick.

"Still being grumpy, hmm?"

"Obviously."

Natasha can only let out a small laugh before glancing at her pouting partner.

"Really don't wanna go today, eh?"

"No I do not." Wanda grumbles, letting out a huff to ensure Natasha fully knew how annoyed she was.

"Not only did you carry me to the car, which was extremely embarrassing - "

"You don't hate it when I'm taking your ass to bed."

"...irrelevant. Anyway. You carried me to the car and you let Y/N watch!"

"And she loved every second, bunny." Natasha smiles.

"But you also took me away from our new girlfriend! We've been official for like 2 hours! It's not fair."

"Carry on, sweet. Get it all out." Natasha starts driving again.

"And not only do you take me away from her, mid kiss may I add, you drag me away to go to the dentist!"

"Sorry but you had an appointment, baby girl."

"We also have a new girlfriend!"

"Don't raise your voice at me, baby. Remember your place." Natasha warns.

Wanda quickly backs off.

"Sorry."

"Better. And we haven't left her. Carol is with her. They'll still be there when we get back home."

"But she's there now. And we're not."

"Wanda." Natasha says, glancing in her direction. "I know you're sad about having to leave Y/N. But I had to leave too. I even rang ahead and tried to postpone your appointment but it was too short of notice."

"Oh."

"Exactly. We won't even be an hour, my love. In and out, back under the blanket with Carol and Y/N before you know it."

"I swear to God, if we get back and they're doing stuff I'll -"

"Be my jealous little bunny?"

"...yes."

"How about we do our own stuff in the back of the car when we're done here. See if we can really make the receptionist blush."

"I just can't believe I didn't get a lollipop."

"You bit her finger, Wanda."

"And? She was hitting on you; while her fingers were in my mouth. What was I supposed to do?"

"Not bite your dentist." Natasha is smiling, biting her bottom lip as she tries, and fails, to suppress her laugh.

"I reacted perfectly, thank you." Wanda smiles. "Now she knows not to hit on what's mine."

"Is that so, bunny? Didn't like the fact that your daddy was being hit on?"

"Not at all."

The red head leans down to drag Wanda's lip into her mouth.

"I think I like it when you get jealous, darling." She says. "It's hot."

The two stumble into the wall.

"Shall we go and see our ladies upstairs?" Natasha asks. "Tell them how brave you were and how healthy your teeth are...and how you now have a warning next to your name."

"Not my fault, she deserved it."

The two kiss again.

And when they get back upstairs, they kiss you and Carol.

Over and over until you're a giggling mess under their bodies.

"Y'know," Wanda says, nestling into your neck. "The dentist isn't too bad."

"Yeah?" You ask.

"Yeah." Wanda replies, "'cos now I get to come home to you."

"Oh, I see how it is," Carol gasps. "Me and Natasha aren't enough for you!"

The blonde flops back dramatically.

"My heart! Oh, it's wounded."

"Oh can it, Danvers." Wanda smiles. "You knew what I meant."

"I can't - oh, I'm so upset..."

Wanda moves from you to jump on Carol, causing them both to fall off the couch and onto the floor.

Natasha pulls you closer as you enjoy the show, of Wanda tickling Carol relentlessly.

"I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into."

"I do," You say. "I do.

[stinkysatan]

Fem!Reader x Alhaitham, bit of angst, fluff, comfort, estabilished relationship, possibly ooc alhaitham?

Reader feels inferior and unworthy of her lover, who decides to prove her wrong. (Not proofread)

"Are you stupid?" Dehya asked, taking another sip of her beer. "Wait, don't reply. It's my time to talk." She continued, while glaring daggers at her friend - you, and you couldnt help but feel stumped at the way she interrupted her ranting.

"(Y/N), you were enrolled in the akademiya, you're one of the best fighters I have seen and yet you do actually claim to be dumb?" She asked, but didn't even leave time for an answer. "Yeah, I don't buy that. We both know that Alhaitham wouldn't even glance at you if you were right."

She was right - of course. She always was. That's why you were her best friend. But still, the insecure part of your brain wasn't listening to a word of this conversation. A sigh escaped your lips, as you chugged your wine as if it was water. "I'm just saying... if I didn't drop out, I would've failed my classes anyway." You mumbled out the last words.

Just as the mercenary was about to chew you out, she looked behind you and smirked. "Finally, I was thinking you were bailing on us." She said, making you turn around. You saw the rest of your friend, Cyno and Tighnari, along with a certain scribe.

"I apologize, i lost the track of time." Alhaitham said, as he placed a hand on your shoulder. Despite being in relationship for almost a year, you couldn't help but blush at his touch. "It's alright, at least you guys are here now." You replied with a hint of a smile, placing your hand on his, as he sat next to you.

The five of you spent time playing Genius Invocation TCG, chatting and drinking. The rare night out with friends almost made you forget about your insecurities. That is, until you were thrown Into a lose-streak, making you irritated, much more when you were intoxicated.

"Hm, you should have used this one." Said the scribe, pointing at your wolf's gravestone card. His remarks didn't help, even If you knew he just had your best interest at heart. You huffed and tossed your cards onto the table. "Fine, I surrender." You mumbled, to which Cyno shot you a grin. That's his 5th win in a row.

Your mood gradually went downhill from there. You downed another glass of wine before standing up. "Alright guys, I'm calling it a night. I'm too drunk to play anyway." You said, noticing how your boyfriend glanced at you, before getting up himself. "I suppose I shall be leaving as well. I'll walk you home." He said, sneaking a hand around your waist.

Everyone said they goodbyes, but when Dehya pulled you into a hug she whispered into your ear. "You better talk it out with him." Making you grimace. There wasn't much to talk about, really. You just had to accept you weren't much compared to your partner. Still, you nodded harfheartedly and departed.

It was late, not many people out in the streets. Alhaitham still had his arm around your waist, and he couldn't help but to notice you haven't been yourself lately. "Kaveh actually left for a week this afternoon. I thought you'd maybe want to stay with me for a while? We didn't get to see each other lately after all." He said, the tips of his ears turning bright red. All this time, and he's still not used to having you for himself for such a long time.

Unfortunately your response wasn't something that he had hoped for. Not excited or embarrassed like always. Instead you just hummed, much to scribe's dismay. He had stopped in his tracks, making you turn to look at him. His beautiful eyes full of worry, as his hand made it's way onto your cheek. He was glad it was late, at least not many people were around to witness his act of affection.

"Will you finally tell me what's wrong with you lately?" He asked bluntly, caressing your cheek. "You haven't been yourself, and frankly it's troublesome. It's making me worry about you, not only is it hard to focus on my work, I'm also starting to think you're not content with your relationship." His words made you shake your head instantly, and take his free hand in yours in an act of reassurance.

"No, no 'haitham. It has nothing to do with you I just..." You let out a heavy sighed, as your eyes darted away from him. "I think you deserve more. Than me. I'm not really good at anything, I'm not smart like you. You can't have intellectual conversations with me. I think I make you... bored you know?"

Tears welled up in your eyes at the thought of the love of your life leaving you because of that. You were brought back by a flick on the forehead. Alhaitham couldn't believe his ears. His eyebrows were furrowed, as he pulled you closer.

"If we were interested in the same things there wouldn't be much to talk about, really. Besides i actually enjoy indulging you when you bother me about some obscure facts." He admitted, making you smile just a little bit.

"I'm going to say this only once, (y/n). I wouldn't change you for anyone or anything else. You are enough. I couldn't be bored with you, even if i tried. Don't sell yourself short. I... Like it when you tell me some facts about flowers you picked up while on a trip in Liyue, or various other things that I usually don't care about."

You didn't even notice the stupid grin forming on your face through your boyfriends whole rant. He really did make you feel loved. You pulled him into a passionate kiss, trying to let him know how much you appreciate him.

"Thank you, 'haitham. I needed that." You said with a soft smile. "And I'd love to spend the week with you." You added, taking his hand In yours. A shadow of a smile appeared on the scribe's face, as he caressed your hand with his thumb. "I'm glad to hear that."

Dehya watched from a far with a satisfied smile on her face. Her left hand reached out to Cyno, who rolled his eyes and tossed her a bag of mora. "I told you, he has a soft spot for her." She said with a smirk. Tighnari just shook his head at the two.

[lilacura]

Her Protection | Ahn Yujin

pairing: ahn yujin x reader

>wc: 831

sypnosis: When a close call leaves Yujin realizing how deeply she cares for Y/N, will she acknowledge the spark between them? Or continue shutting out her own heart in favor of duty?

Y/N sighed as she looked at her outfit in the mirror, a short black dress that she had been looking forward to wearing to Krystal's party all week. But now it seemed her plans were ruined by her overprotective parents insisting she hire a bodyguard after the attempted kidnapping a couple months back.

Y/N huffed in frustration as Yujin shook her head again at the party invitation. "Come on Yujin, it's just one little gathering! You've been my bodyguard for 3 months now, don't you trust that I'll be safe?"

Yujin frowned. "It's not about trust Y/N, I'm being paid to keep you out of danger. And a big social event with strangers is risky, can't you understand that?"

"You're no fun! All you do is tag along behind me like a shadow, I want to have a normal life!" Y/N yelled.

Anger flashed in Yujin's eyes. "Excuse me for taking my job seriously! Do you have any idea how badly I would fail if something happened to you? Just this once can't you cooperate and stay home?"

They glared at each other, tense silence filling the air. Y/N knew Yujin cared deeply even if she didn't express it well. And she truly did feel safer with the guard nearby.

Deflating, Y/N said quietly, "Look, I appreciate your efforts. But being cooped up all the time is difficult, can't you please come with me and we'll both keep an eye out? I'll feel better having you there anyway."

Yujin hesitated, touched by the uncharacteristic pleading. Sighing, she nodded. "Alright fine. But at any sign of trouble…"

Y/N beamed, hugging Yujin impulsively. "I know, we leave. Thank you Yujin!" Her grin was infectious, softening Yujin's stern features into a smile. Maybe this party wouldn't be so bad after all, as long as she looked out for any danger.

When they arrived at the party, Y/N's friend Krystal greeted them happily. Y/N began chatting with her old friend, catching up on the latest gossip.

Yujin scanned the crowded room cautiously, always on high alert. That's when she noticed him—a tall guy with bleached hair leaning against the wall, eyeing Y/N hungrily as she laughed with Krystal. Something about him set Yujin on edge.

She watched him weave through the partygoers until he was right behind Y/N, speaking low in her ear. Y/N turned with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, trying to politely excuse herself. But Bleach Boy reached out to trail his fingers along Y/N's bare arm, making her shiver uncomfortably.

Yujin was there in an instant, placing herself firmly between Y/N and the intruder. "I think she said she's not interested," she growled, noticing the glint of a silver ring pierced through his eyebrow.

Bleach Boy smirked, sizing Yujin up with his gaze in a way that made her fists clench. "Problem, tough guy? We were just chatting." His breath reeked of alcohol and cigarettes as he leaned in closer, clearly not taking the hint.

That's when Yujin lashed out, kicking him hard where it hurts before fixing him with a cold glare. "Back. Off. Now." Bleach Boy doubled over with a whimper, proving he was all bark. Satisfied, Yujin turned back to Y/N protectively. "Are you alright? Let's go find some better company, shall we?"

The rest of the party passed without incident, though Yujin didn't leave Y/N's side except to refill their drinks. As the crowd started to thin out Y/N turned to Yujin. "Walk me home?"

The walk home was quiet but comfortable, Yujin hyper aware of Y/N walking so close beside her. When they reached the door to Y/N's apartment, Y/N turned to Yujin with a shy smile.

"Thank you for coming tonight, and for protecting me from that creep. I really appreciate you looking out for me." Her eyes were soft and sincere.

Yujin felt her heart swell, wanting to comfort Y/N. "Of course, it's my job to keep you safe. And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Y/N searched Yujin's gaze, seeming to find what she was looking for. Before Yujin could process what was happening, soft lips pressed gently against hers.

Yujin stiffened in surprise, eyes flying open wide. But then Y/N made a small distressed noise and started to pull away, mistaking Yujin's reaction.

Seeing Y/N's hurt expression melted Yujin's reservations, and she wrapped her arms around Y/N's waist tenderly. She leaned down to kiss Y/N back slowly, pouring all her feelings into it—her desire to protect, her fondness, her growing love.

Y/N sighed into the kiss, hugging Yujin close. They broke apart with shy smiles, a new understanding blossoming between them under the moonlight. "I've got you," Yujin whispered, and Y/N knew everything would be okay as long as they had each other.

a/n: hi everyone lol

[puripurin]

Yan! Llama Hybrid x SheepHybrid! Reader

— Recently, on the farm, a bunch of coyotes and wolves started to snag some sheep hybrids into the woods when they would get too close to the fences. It has gotten so bad that they would do it in broad daylight.

The owners decided that they would introduce a new addition to the herd to combat the coyotes. A male Llama named Lumi. All of the sheep were skeptical at first because they all thought that it was a little odd that the new sheep would have such a long neck and a lot bigger in size, but soon enough, they couldn't help but warm up to him.

Lumi, on the other hand, was still in his awkward phase. He'd recently entered into adulthood and was feeling sad and lonely without his parents there to guide him, but it wasn't until he saw your gorgeous curls and your small little tail that wagged in excitement. Just in that moment, he'd decided to be your life-long mate and started the process of courting you.

You did not give a shit about Lumi. You only cared about the coyotes that ate the rest of the flock. You wanted to start making sacrifices to grow your cult of small critters such as squirrels and rabbits.

This was because you heard from a passing by sheep hybrid that was being transported to another farm about how you could obtain everything you wanted if people devoted their lives to you.

However, you didn't expect Lumi to be so dedicated to you that he'd easily deciphered your messages to your devout followers and your weekly gatherings.

As you walked out of the dead of night, with the intention of killing a coyote that night. But it was oddly still, as if it was waiting for something. The trees didn't ruffle against each other, and the cool wind was nowhere to be seen

You stiffened up and silently walked back. If one of the other sheeps found out about this whole cult thing you had going on, you'd be ousted and killed by the coyotes instead.

But, you were immediately thrown down and turned over. Your eyes widened in panic and started to attack the person who held you down silently, only to realize that blood was dripping on your face.

"My love, I've killed one of those tainted and unpure coyotes for your sacrifice. I would hate to see your delicate hands get stained with something unworthy of your desire... but why... Why do you yearn and look at someone else with interest other than me? ... Only I shall be your eyes and ears, my love..."

Random and barely edit post after months of not posting. I was watch yt shorts and i came across a video abt guard llamas w sheeps. Its been on my mind for 3 weeks and i started this 2 weeks ago. I only decided now to finish it.

You can see the point where i went fuck it because i had no idea what to do with the reader's background so i was like "Ooh maybe they want to smash the coyotes... what's close to smashing coyotes... Cult." Cult leader YN it is.

Anyways below is for the rest of people who want to know what happened after that incident.

I feel better about my dog's death, but we weren't able to get him back due to the poor weather and the fact he was last seen in a drain. So there wasn't a proper burial, but I'm happy that we didn't end up with 2 losses. We had them since they were puppies, and its upsetting that the younger one died, but i understand why they had to kill him.

He's a dangerous breed of dog even though he's docile most of them time. He was a cane corso, and my older dog is a rottweiler and pitbull mix. So not the most safest dogs to be around, but what are you gonna do when your country is busy locking up a man for money laundering bcs they shit at their jobs.

Right, if I'm not lazy enough, I'll go back and redo every one of my ocs bcs im on the verge of deleting them all from embarrassment. Then that will hopefully be a small week long event for my tumblr as im not used to those things. But this might take months.

Also, no won't do kinktober, im lazy, and smut isn't my forte. Anyways bye-bye, see yall when my coffin feels too stuffy~

(soz if this is shit as well bcs i didn't do a whole lotta explaining abt Lumi's behavior)

[life-is-more-than-just-a-game]

Can you write a lovely fluff story between Arisu and female reader who loves get kissed, to get cuddled, to get touched from him (and maybe more) at night?🥰 Maybe something romantic with some kinda sexual parts

♠️ Late night closeness ♠️

A/N: Yo, I'm back and haven't forgot your request yet! As I said in one of my posts, I felt a little sick this one day so I used the next days to recover a little. Plus, I was at work thursday and friday until 6pm, so I was tired and exhausted to be honest. 😬

Nevertheless, here comes your desired story and I hope that you will like it even more. Now that it's finally out. 🫶🏻

Characters: Arisu

POV: fem!reader ; fluff ; slightly sexual content at the end!

Warnings: Includes slightly sexual content, but nothing excessive.

Late at night. To be more precise, it's the perfect time to go to sleep. Just like I always do. Apart from the fact that the surroundings are quiet and empty from dawn to dusk anyway, there is complete darkness all around us. One thing I can't stand since I've been in Borderland. The reason? The red laser beams that shine down from the sky to kill other people whose visas have run out. I know a few idiots who stay up late and look for a higher spot to watch the spectacle. Just to make sure how many will leave this world behind forever - and for sure - today.

Fortunately for me, I also know people who have similar thoughts to mine. People who don't want to see this happen. People who have enough common sense, empathy and decency to look the other way. Call it strength or call it gutlessness.

I want to sleep. Every day, even before the selection takes place. However, my thoughts, which are spinning endlessly in circles, are preventing me from doing so today. My eyes are closed. My back is turned to the window so that I am not even tempted to open my eyes. But as destiny wants it, this shall not be to my disadvantage.

It's a typical time for me to sleep. You lose track of time and space in here, but if I had to guess, it would probably be 10 pm by now. Maybe half past ten at night. So I'm not surprised that the mattress behind me lowers a little, that the blanket is lifted slightly and then gets straightened again. So that I too can enjoy a comfortable and peaceful night's sleep. Just as I deserve- at least according to Arisu.

Arisu and I ... we met here during a game and haven't gone our separate ways ever since. At least not directly. We rarely go to games together for fear that we'll end up in one where we have to kill each other. I know Arisu's story. I know what he's been through. And I don't want him to have to go through it again.

We always promise each other that we'll come back. That we'll meet again at the agreed meeting point and go back to sleep side by side in the evening. The only difference today is that I'm still awake and can therefore feel the dark-haired man snuggling up to me even better.

How he puts his arm around me and presses me closer to him so that my back is pressed tightly against his upper body. As if he's afraid someone might just take me away from him for the night. Or as if he was worried that I would just leave him alone in the middle of the night.

He does that often. Always, actually. Every night when I'm drifting off to sleep. And I like it. Arisu is a shy boy who has a lot of decency as well as respect. He would never do anything against my will or touch someone 'indecently' if he didn't know whether he was allowed to. And even if he was allowed to, he would find it difficult because he wouldn't know how to handle it.

I think he knows that I like this kind of closeness. I'm not sure, but if he pulls me into his arms while I'm sleeping, I think I'll have some reactions that approve of his actions. Be it a smile that creeps onto my lips. It's possible I'll turn towards him to nuzzle my face into the skin of his neck so I can be even closer to him. And then I remember that I once started to giggle a little when Arisu pressed kisses to my cheek, neck and shoulder. I remember, because ... he is doing it again.

"I love it when you try to show me your affection secretly, quietly and silently." As soon as he speaks, I notice how his head shoots up a little and his grip on me loosens. "Surprise, love." I take the chance to turn onto my back in the loose grasp of his arms so that I can see Arisu's face much better- it may be dark, but I don't miss the somewhat indignant look on his silhouette, which makes me laugh a little.

"I thought you were asleep!" he says confusedly, his eyes almost as big as the moon in the sky itself. "How much did you notice...?"

"Everything." Silence. "But I don't think that was enough." I smile up to him, stretching my face a little towards his so that I can give him a little peck on the lips, before staring at him for a second.

"Awkward."

"Awkward?", I asked, bursting into laughter. "What the fuck are calling awkward, Ryohei?! No, that's not!"

"I-It's just ... I thought you sleep, Y/N!" Now he starts giggling himself, so that both of us are just a laughing mess. "You can't pretend just to set a trap for me, that's not how it works!"

"Oh? But it worked very well, don't you think?" It takes a moment for us both to settle down again- until we're both quiet and just smiling to ourselves.

Shortly afterwards, Arisu tightens his grip again and presses me against him once more. He has turned sideways towards me and finally leans his head relaxed against mine. I do the same and start to stroke his arm up and down with one of my hands, while we just lie here together in silence, staring into emptiness. In the soft bed of the tower block that we have made our home for the night.

"I ... actually tried to fall asleep but failed this time." Arisu looks down on me while I look up to him. "It wasn't my plan to trap you, darling. But I have to say, I really do love it, when you cuddle me that much while I'm sleeping, Arisu. And you know, I would be happy when you keep doing this- it makes me feel protected and ... I feel safe in this creepy world when having you by my side." I assume that these words will overwhelm Arisu for a moment, as it's quite a lot at once and … well, very unexpected. "So … I'd be happy if you did that more often. Not just when I'm asleep, but also when I'm awake. I really enjoy your attention and your closeness, so … I think it would be nice if we could build on this ... intimacy." I know it might not be a good attitude.

This is not the world in which you would want to fall in love. We are not in the time warp where you are looking forward to the love of your life, where you want to fall for a person completely and carefree. Here in Borderland, it's a matter of life and death. That's why it might be wrong to tie yourself to one person- morally speaking. But if your heart is yearning and your head is in harmony with it, then it no longer feels as wrong as it really is.

"You know, this ... might getting dangerous, love?", he whispers, making me giving him back a quite "Of course" which makes him sigh a bit. "This … is not something one want to assume, but … you know, it can happen every day that one of us doesn't come back to the other." You can tell from his voice that he feels fear and pain at the thought, which makes me swallow hard- but again I only get out a whispered "I know ...", which should make him realize how seriously I meant what I said to him. "And yet you want me to consciously give you this intimacy?"

"Yes," I said, serious. "Because I love you, Ryohei." This is where I end my caresses on his arm.

Instead, I just look up at him, able to catch his eyes thanks to the light given off by the moon. I notice how his arms wrap around me even tighter in response and I catch myself clawing into the skin of his arm a little, but lightly enough to make sure there's no residue and that I don't accidentally hurt him. He nuzzles his face into my cheek and we close our eyes to enjoy the togetherness for a moment. To forget everything else for just a few seconds.

"I don't think that's something we can decide immediately, Arisu ..."

"There's no need to decide something, I guess." I open my eyes again, looking at him, giving a little "Huh?" right back, before I can catch a smile on his lips. "I ... I cannot deny that I ... like you and that I would very much like to continue to be close to you." I giggle.

"Come here." Without giving it a second thought, I swing myself on top of him and wrap my arms loosely around his neck.

His hands rest on my back from that point on and I make it quick: I pull him into a loving, passionate kiss. I know he needs a moment to realize what's going on, so … I give him the time. And only when he moves his lips against mine do I match his movements and deepen the kiss a little more, burying one of my hands in his mane so that I can push him a little closer to me.

A little later I wander with my lips to his neck, which he frees up for me a little bit by tilting his head to the side. Small kisses are spread over his thin skin before I reach his ear and whisper a soft "Touch me, Arisu ..." into it, making him blush, pretty sure.

"You want me to-"

"I see what you're up to, my love." I'm smiling. "Don't think about it … and just do it." Again I start to work his neck, which makes him hum happily before I add anything else. "When I was sleeping, you weren't afraid to go under my shirt, too." Now I'm laughing.

Because of his shocked "What?!". Because of his big eyes. Because he's a little freaked out all of a sudden.

"How much did you really notice when I thought you were sleeping all this time?!"

"I've been sleeping," I say, "but sometimes I've woken up and just let it pass over me with pleasure~."

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E4 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

My character/place cheat sheet

Lady Lihua - the sick concubine

Crystal Pavilion - Lady Lihua's abode

Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's abode

Xiaolan - a servant friend of Maomao's

Oh snap. So that person who visited at the end of the last episode was THE EMPEROR. I don't like that Maomao is on his radar. I'm going to go ahead and blame Jinshi for this.

Lady Lihua is unwell and since Maomao is now a famous apothecary she is tasked with healing her. It's not something she can refuse or afford to fail at, though Lady Lihua's own ladies are making it challenging.

They don't trust Maomao, and so they prevent her from treating Lady Lihua, however shortsighted that may be. First of all they prevent their lady from getting better by denying her Maomao's care, second, they undermine the emperor's will. Maomao is going to be forced to deal with palace politics before she can treat her patient.

It is weird how the emperor approached Maomao. He could have summoned her to meet him anywhere, or simply passed down a command. He chose to go to the Jade Pavilion and meet Maomao face-to-face and in front of Lady Gyokuyou. It's as if he doesn't know or doesn't care about harem politics. I'm guessing that he does though. I bet he knows exactly what he's doing, even if Maomao and I don't.

I do not like his interest in Maomao.

Jinshi has come to help Maomao gain access to Lady Lihua so she can diagnose and treat her. He is so unnerving sometimes. When he notices the other ladies watching he rushes up on Maomao (is he trying to start rumors?) and whispers the following:

If it helps, I can come inside.

Which sounds... I mean, it's probably just the way it translated... I'm sure it's just me...

But Maomao looks like she nearly barfed on him! Which is probably the highlight of Jinshi's day.

The ladies comply when faced with the full power of Jinshi's smile (one lady literally fainted). Maomao comments:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

Jinshi knows the effect he has on women, but looks to Maomao after she says it, maybe wondering for the hundredth time how to get his charm to work on Maomao.

Side bar. This show is ALL about what is happening between Maomao and Jinshi. This is where the tension is, and it's where the story is happening. What happens between these two characters will have an effect on every other plotline and supporting character. If it seems like I spend too much time watching and analyzing this relationship, it's because I believe it to be the heart of the show.

Maomao! Holy shit Maomao! Goddamn if that wasn't the most lady boss thing I've ever seen!

Shall I even try to describe this scene? I'll never do this badassery justice, but its worth reviewing anyway.

She solves the mystery immediately, which, of course, and she's so far passed pissed off. When she realizes what's happened she growls in anger. She contains her rage only long enough to confirm who is responsible before slapping the lady across the face!

Lady: What is wrong with you!

Maomao: Me? Just punishing an idiot, clearly.

Friends. I am breathless. I think I gasped and then held it to the end of the scene.

Maomao dumps the poisonous powder on the lady's head. She then lays out in no uncertain terms what the poison does to one's body. Maomao is grappling to accept just how stupid this lady is, nearly shaking as she is incandescent with rage.

She slaps the woman again this time smearing the poisonous powder on her face while she screams:

You think she wants to be adorned in the poison that killed her son?!

The woman finally breaks down crying and Maomao is done with her. She takes charge and starts barking orders to the other ladies who are so terrified that they don't even think about disobeying.

Jinshi looks like he's just had a religious experience, but manages to pull out the perfect callback:

Scary how women can change so quickly.

God I love this character.

Facing Jinshi, Maomao comes back to herself. The ramifications of what she has done start to set in. I don't know if there will be fallout from the Crystal Pavilion from her bossing around Lady Lihua's ladies. I suspect they aren't going to broadcast what happened because they are criminally liable for poisoning their the concubine and also because this story makes them lose all face. Plus, Maomao is saving Lady Lihua's life. Regardless, I am confident that having Jinshi there to witness it all, will have consequences.

Dutiful Maomao then fully assumes control of Lady Lihua's care and commands the ladies with an iron fist. She can hardly tolerate the incompetency that has been standard in this pavilion. It really is a curse to be the smartest person in the room.

Jinshi: You're looking tired.

Maomao: Thanks. Unlike someone, I have been busy.

This is now what passes for a casual greeting between these two.

Jinshi, playfully, but probably sincerely, acknowledging Maomao's hard work; offering her validation, and implied appreciation. Maomao coming back with sarcasm and a playful barb. And they are both are getting exactly what they want from the other. Maomao appreciates that her hard work and skills are being acknowledged and Jinshi loves that someone is casual enough with him to tease him. I suspect he gets none of that any where else. She's may be the only one in his life who treats him like a regular person instead of a prince palace manager.

You can see each of them becoming more comfortable with each other as they learn where the lines lie. They are leaning how to give and take and discovering the ways the other prefers to be treated. Furthermore, instead of using those discoveries to push the other away or discourage them, they are giving the other what they want and inviting them to come closer.

Friends! These two are flirting!

And if that ain't proof enough, Jinshi Gaoshun gives Maomao some steamed buns and she thinks the following:

He knows the way to a girl's heart! It's the considerate guys like him who become good husbands. Too bad he's a eunuch.

So food is Maomao's love language. Same Maomao, same. But maybe don't try to be quite so transparent in front of Jinshi, he will use this against you.

Maomao is thinking of Gaoshun here but for what it's worth, it is Jinshi who knows the way to a girl's heart. He's been figuring out Maomao for a few episodes already, hence why she is receiving steamed buns from Gaoshun. He knows the food will cheer her up, but not if it come from him. Which is why Gaoshun is the one handing it over, even though he said the gift is from both of them.

Maomao interprets the gift in the way that lets her best enjoy the buns. And though she isn't admitting it, she is aware who the gift is really from, and might want to do some introspection on what she just thought about the gift giver.

Jinshi is offering to help Maomao. Whatever she wants. And he's turned the charm all the way up. Like, with all the sparkles ✨. I don't know if Maomao is totally immune to it, but it's not as effective as Jinshi would like. He hasn't abandoned the sultry look method yet. I wonder if he will just keep trying to see if anything shifts. In the meantime, it's far from his only tool of seduction.

His offer of help is good. Maomao of course won't take advantage of this for her own means, but if she can use Jinshi's help to treat her patient? Sold. Jinshi is happy to comply and win points with Maomao in return. I don't think Maomao totally trusts his altruism though. She tries to justify herself by saying:

We have to use whatever we have in this life.

And Maomao's efforts do pay off. Lady Lihua begins to recover. Eventually, Maomao is able to depart from the Crystal Pavilion. But not before collapsing in exhaustion, and having Lady Lihua gently stroke her head. Perhaps Lady Lihua is grateful and will become a support to Maomao in the future? Or at least give her some consideration while engaging in palace politics. Maybe try to mitigate the danger that could fall to Maomao. We shall see.

Maomao has so far had a positive impact on the people she interacts with. She saved Lady Gyokuyou and her baby, supports the ladies in the Jade Pavilion, assists the palace doctor, has solved multiple mysteries for Jinshi, not mention just generally brightens his day, and now has saved the life of Lady Lihua. She's too good at what she does, and too lovable not to charm everyone around her. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely there are some in the palace who feel very differently about Maomao. For now she's still gaining allies.

And nice. Maomao is offering courtesan tricks to the emperor's concubine. Maomao is helping break down class lines one sex technique at a time!

I like what she told Lady Lihua:

There are hundreds, if not thousands of flowers in the world. Comparing a peony to a bellflower is pointless. Who has the right to judge which is more beautiful.

After which, she immediately compares her own body to Lady Lihua's, recognizing Lady Lihua's "magnificent" "assets." I wonder which of her own assets Maomao acknowledges. Does she consider herself to be a beautiful flower too?

Maomao returns to the Jade Pavilion and is warmly welcomed by the ladies in waiting who instantly worry over her. Which, as I've said before, I love. Maomao is always willing to sacrifice herself for others. She did it this time for Lady Lihua, by working herself to exhaustion. The ladies at Jade Pavilion notice that she's lost weight while she's been gone, and acknowledge how hard it must have been to be at the other pavilion. Maomao is so good at caring for others and absolute shit at caring for herself. Luckily, now she has people who look out for her, and care about her well-being.

Jinshi is privately very proud of Maomao. He credits her with completing the emperor's mission all on her own, which... she did not. Lady Lihua would have died if Jinshi hadn't stepped in to help Maomao gain access to her patient. Still good on him for recognizing her hard work and skill. Now tell it to her face.

I guess the point in showing him thinking of it here rather than saying it, is to let us, the viewers, know that he is sincere. When he compliments Maomao he does it a little playfully, and she can never be too sure if he is just messing with her or if he is in earnest.

Also, Gaoshun sees exactly what is happening between Jinshi and Maomao, even if the two of them don't recognize it yet.

And the set up for next episode's mystery of the week is cursed hands. Cool.

If you like this kind of thing, let me know! For some reason I've committed myself to blogging this whole show. It's a little hard because, while I enjoy this and I get a whole lot more out of the story this way, I am also deeply intrigued at this point and tempted to just binge the rest.

If you want to start from the beginning of these reviews:

Episode 1

Next episode

Episode 5

[missamyrisa2]

You find some poor sucker of a boy who's gotten his privates stuck in a glory hole. What do you do?

Wellll lookie what we have here ~ it's a sleepy prince. What ever shall I do with this lazy boy who got himself all stuck in a situation? Good thing I always come prepared, and speaking of coming.

Ahh, here's my massage oil and my wide makeup brush which is ever sooo perfect for covering the curvy surface of a royal jewel bag~ Do you hear me darling? Don't go all shy on me now. We're going to get to know each other sooo well, oh yesss we are~ we're going to bond over this hole ~ I'm going to get to know you sooo well and you're going to get to know me tooo ~ and by the end you're gonna call me mama and that's a Miss Amy promise~

and sooo let's carefully glide the brush up the surface to coat that sensitive royal area with shiny oil. Ah, ah, seeee he's trying to press closer to the brush. But no, we keep juuuust the tips of the makeup brush gliding on that ticklish cute boy part. Ooh it's sooo tough to be teased on the jewels only ~ the royal rod is sooo jealous, just look at him bob and protest~ don't worry dearie pie, we have a brush just for you tooo~

Extra coating of oil hereeee and there we gooo ~ my thin nimble paintbrush is so good at teasing this dipstick it's almost ~criminal~ aww him wants it sooo bad ~ but noooo mama isn't giving anything more but this tiny soft brush up the underside, up the vein to the tip. Tickle tickle ~ even if he could pull out he wouldn't because he luuuuvs his mama tickles sooo much ~ yesss, tickle mama always makes it feel soo good huh?

Are you still awake? I'm quite good at reading dick faces and you look positively flushed, like you might pass out ~ don't you dare cutie, because that won't stop me anyway. Oh yes, I'll make you ticklecum while you dream and you'll think it's a ten armed octopus woman with a penchant for handjob tickling boys upside down ~ and somehow, you're all ten of them ~ I bend time and space you silly doll and in every reality you are my plaything ~ yess, my tickle brush is the nexus of your universe and you exist solely to spill your silly giggle drops for me ~

Which is why I have my friend Mrs. Wand for you ~ Mmhmmm ~ you hear the buzzing huh? You want it? Yeahh? You want the buzziesss? Mmmmh that tickles so good doesn't it, right on your tip? Right under the head? Oooh I know, I know darling, but that's all you get. Nope. Mrs. Wand is turning off now. Mmm Mmm ~ nah -ahhh not yet, not cumming for you cutie boyyy ~ it's feather time. Where are you going? You don't want feather time? Better than~~~ hammer time~!!

Oooh sweetie pie what a twitch, what a wince! ~ I'm only kidding you knowww ~ had to get you off that edge somehow ~ and now my cute purple fluffy feather gets to work you back up and my nails can twirl and dance on these balls. Yesss, bouncy bouncy ball balls ~ Why are they called balls anyway? They're really not like that at all, like the shape and the consistency ~ mmm see? See what I mean? And is this one bigger than the other one? Come on now, don't be all shy ~ that's just a feather on your cocky cock a doodle doooo ~ and why do we call it that? Are you a rooster? Do you go cock a doodle doo?

Maybe back in the olden days giggle girls like me would go to the boy barn and tickle the silly boy of the day on his royal parts until he sang like you. Ahh, what a dulcet way to wake ~ the cry of the boy's gigglecum ~ do you want to be my giggle rooster? Well you are a silly goose ~ and guess what? It's handjob timeee ~ now, now don't fret. I'm going to jerk you so much you silly boy. Yeah? You wanna cum? You bet you fucking do ~ but oooh no.... sorryy I just realized this is a no gigglecum glory hole. Yeahh, the writing is on this side. But don't worry, I'll keep this feather riiiight under your tip so you don't feel lonely while you come off that edge. I knowwww it tingles soooo bad huh? You were soooo close~! I can't believe you didn't cum there~

[thistransient]

Halfway through July, and I have neglected to write my yearly birthday introspection, although it did occur to me that between my birthday and the new year I was in fact doing two introspections a year anyways.

For certain reasons I've been waffling about it, but it's also quite nice to be able to look back and compare with the previous year, to see what's changed (sometimes unexpectedly) and what's still the same. Last year I mentioned I "made a close friend [...] and disentangled myself from a draining relationship", but in the end I had been drawn to said friend because he was the polar opposite of the person I was disentangling myself from, and while a different extreme might have been refreshing in the moment, that too was unsustainable in the long run. I think what finally dragged me out of the cycle of too-clingy/too-distant nebulous just-friends-but-what-if sort of relationships was twofold: I started going to counselling with a goal (not the usual "I feel like I'm having a breakdown so I'll see a therapist for 3-6 months before ditching"), and also got into a communal hobby such that I was able to make casual friends and attend regular and diverse events with a time limit (rather than laser focusing on one person and relying on them for all my socialising).

A year ago I said I was feeling adrift, goal-less, and filled with the sort of summer malaise inspired by the scorching Taipei weather this time of year. Unfortunately we are still rather scorched. The temperature and UV levels somewhat put a damper on my usual practice of walking around outside looking at things. On the positive side, I did struggle through the adrift-ness and applied for one (1) grad school program over the winter, which I didn't get into but I did learn that I feel better when I'm working on something, and I was also motivated to finally take Taiwan's Chinese proficiency exam to open up my options for the sort of programs I could try for in the future (I passed a level higher than I expected to, and it was great to feel acknowledgment of my competence at something I'd really put long-term effort into). After the grad school rejection I started planning the trip to Ladakh, which allllmost felt like it involved a similar level of paperwork and fuss- and actually pulling that off in the end (ok, even tho this was after my birthday) despite all my fears and anxiety (particularly around travelling post-transition) was also a great confidence boost. (For a week after I also had this frantic urge to drastically change my life, and I can't tell if it wore off with time or if the heat simply drained out all ambition beyond staying out of the sun and sitting in front of the fan eating cold dragonfruits.)

I have at least two proper goals now, and although one may require starting over entirely from an educational standpoint, as they say, "the time will pass anyways". On my bike rides at night I do tend to start pondering what shall become of me, creeping along in the years but being no closer to permanent or even temporary residency status than any other time I write about it either wistfully or with well-intentioned but otherwise ultimately futile determination, nor feeling like I am useful for any sort of capitalist pursuits. (I suppose this is the part of reflection wherein things have stayed the same, and we must stay tuned for next year.) But I also believe I have made some progress in deflating a little the omnipresent catholic guilt at simply existing, not to mention the adjacent notion that enjoying life a bit and not being maximally miserable at all times is a SIN. By this I mean I have gone twice now to a nice hair salon to let a beautiful woman shampoo, condition, and also give me a haircut that doesn't bear a strong resemblance to a bichon-frise immediately after.

All in all, I would say the verdict is incremental improvement. (Okay maybe I'm also racking up incremental nerve damage from all the shibari but you win some you lose some.) My housing/employment/visa-running status hasn't changed dramatically but I feel more hopeful and kinder with myself. I think my Chinese reading speed has kicked up a notch. I've managed to keep the instant noodle consumption under control. I've sent a lot of postcards on my quarterly trips, which are generally well-received. I have taken great delight in growing many plants in the window cage (whether they survive is another thing, RIP to the tomato plants while I was away, bravo to the basil that miraculously rehydrated from what seemed to be a completely unsalvageable state, sorry to the lemon tree sprout that was apparently doing fine on its own before I came back and over-watered it to death). Things feel kinda okay, and I used to be quite suspicious of this because surely they were only going to get worse again, but these days I figure hey, even so, might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[sezez]

I have a confession to make, may I have mercy for what I'm bout to say but uh...

I honestly hate how FMA:B handles Mustang and Hawkeye's relationship. Yes, you heard me right. I hate it.

But this is a personal thing, I'm not saying the show did a bad job at showing it or anything! However, I shall allow you to get your flamethrowers out.

It's just... I'm a big FMA 03 fan, and I just prefer how Mustang is portrayed as this mysterious boss who seems to care about himself and will do what it takes to get to the top. And Hawkeye being his right-hand woman, keeping an eye on him and making sure he isn't making a fool of himself.

And I honesty just dislike how Hawkeye looks in Brotherhood, I- I just don't like how her eyes look because she is meant to be this serious and intimidating character since she is entitled to be "The Hawk's Eye"

But in Brotherhood, her eyes look far too innocent for that to match with her title. And I prefer how her eyes look in 03, having a sharper edge and her eyes being a amber brown then a chocolate brown.

I'm sorry Brotherhood!Hawkeye, I just don't like how less intimidating you are compare to 03!Hawkeye. You can shoot me more times than you did to Lust.

Anyway, onto my problems with the relationship...

I just don't like how much it's presented in the show, like the viewer can see there's something going on between them. Like it's so obvious, it's frustrating to look at and how other characters don't see it too.

While in 03, it's much more quiet and it feels the relationship they have is natural and hidden from everyone, including the viewers with only little hints to them having a deeper connection than we thought.

And the biggest issue I have with this is during the moment when Hawkeye shot Lust multiple times because she thought her boss was dead.

Yeah, I hate how she had a mental breakdown immediately after a Homunculi who's very likely to lie and manipulate her.

I just- I just expected her to handle the situation better, like girl- you know this man for years and there will be times where he might die given his status, position, and power. I know you're whole job is to protect him and follow where he goes, but- just... There WILL be a time where, he just dies.

And just, I expected her to not take Lust's words seriously so soon despite not seeing Mustang's dead ass. And I dislike how fast it was for her to react that way, like there's no slow moment or proof that he's dead to her.

So why did she just... Fired her gun at Lust like a little child throwing a tantrum because she couldn't find her favorite toy?

So, now that I have most likely have tons of people pointing their guns at me, I'll just say one more thing about what I liked in 03 more than in Brotherhood.

The parallel between in 03 where Hawkeye cries over a presume dead Mustang after he got his eye shot and in Brotherhood where Mustang holds a injured Hawkeye.

In Brotherhood, I was really annoyed with Mustang. Cause, dude, your wife is bleeding out and your just being held by some of mindless men that are just HOLDING YOU BY THE ARMS AND YOUR HANDS ARE COMPLETELY FREE for you to snap your fingers and burn them all. And the way he held her after she got saved is cute, but annoying that he didn't do shit and he was REALLY useless in that moment.

And honestly I wished Mustang stayed blind, hell, maybe his eyes could have been taken out all together like how Ed lost his leg or Izumi having her guts ripped out. Also the moment doesn't feel sad or worrying to me, it's just frustration because he can do SOMETHING in that moment.

Now what I liked in 03, I really enjoy that throughout the series, Hawkeye is some distant person who just seems done with her job and the colonel's bullshit. But the moment when she was running up to the Fuhrer's mansion, and seeing him on the ground with a puddle of blood, she goes to him and calls his name out.

And she cries when she didn't get a response, and that's what I liked more. She doesn't immediately cries, she checks to make sure he's with her. That moment felt more emotional and powerful to me than in FMA:B.

And I want to thank you all coming to my personal opinion on a lovely ship, I will gladly take any hits from you all and have a good day, afternoon, and night.