#anyway my goal is to write all these ships at some point

[dweetwise]

The only dbd shipping chart I care about

[physalian]

How to Make Clean Romance Entertaining

@bananasugarwarrior ask and you shall receive

As an ace/arospec, I approach writing romance very differently than many authors and this is kind of my wish-fulfillment list more than anything.

Biggest detractor of implying anything in scenes you didn’t write: You don’t have those scenes to explore character development. I touched on this in What No One Tells You About Writing #6 and the problem I ran into a few times when writing ENNS and other works is that if you fade to black, you can’t continue important conversation or an exploration of boundaries, or fluffy new emotions, if they’d otherwise be in those missing scenes. Sex scenes are, unfortunately, prime real estate for some rich character development.

So you have to work all that rich character development around it. It’s up to you where you want to draw the line of “use your imagination” but everything up to the missing smut, and after, remains more prime real estate. You have loads of other options to explore clean intimacy and some I borrowed from this list that I reblogged about ways to show non-sexual intimacy between characters.

There’s more to a relationship to explore between your characters than just how good each other is in the bedroom. Here’s a few suggestions:

Tragic Backstory stuff and emotional boundaries

One teaching the other a niche or important skill to succeed/survive

A common physical threat, like monetary problems, job insecurity, sickness, or an actual challenge/quest/adventure/mission

A common emotional threat, like a lack of communication, or exercising an anxiety or phobia, or issues over speaking their minds

A common goal: Marriage, children, a new car or home, competing for joint acceptance into a team/group/club/prize competition

There’s also plenty for your love interests to think about their significant others aside from how sexy they are and how badly they want to get in their pants.

Introvert A can love how much B is an extrovert, or vice versa

A loves that B is good with animals, or children, the elderly, etc

A can love B’s skill and passion for their hobbies or a movement they believe in, or their stances on morality and the actions they take to back it up

A can love B’s skill as a teacher, their patience, kindness, and understanding

A can love B’s relationships with their friends and family, their maturity (or lack thereof), their work ethic

A can love B’s quirks and tics, like how they organize things or if they sing in the shower or how they dance when they’re listening to headphones

Point being:

And take this with a grain of biased salt because I’m ace and think sex is superfluous anyway: If you can’t write your characters in love with each other without sex, I won’t believe they’re in love with sex. Fiction, for me, that takes the narrative shortcut of “these two are the main couple of course they’re going to get together, I don’t have to do any work on writing why they’re in love you just came here for sex” annoy me, and quite a lot of other people, too, if the amount of gay ships that ignore the canon hetero couple are anything to go by.

The arc of their relationship doesn’t have to culminate in sex. Their arc should be specific to what these two characters want to achieve out of a romantic relationship. For a lot of people, that’s sex, but for others, maybe it’s just someone to cuddle on the couch with and watch movies, or someone they can finally trust and let in and be emotionally vulnerable with. Someone they can explore the town with, or travel, or take to dinner. Someone who doesn’t belittle them or laugh at them or disregard their interests.

Substitute relationship climaxes other than sex:

A finally trusts B with a secret they’ve been hiding for fear of ridicule, and B accepts them wholeheartedly (not Liar Revealed)

A and B finally perfect some routine they’ve been slaving over for months (like a dance or if they’re combat partners, a difficult maneuver)

A has been in love, but in doubt, and finally understands that B is The One when B is the only one to show up for A’s big speech/recital/presentation/gallery that no one else cares about

A has never let themselves be in love and it’s something wholly unspectacular that completely bowls them over with an epiphany

A is touch-averse and their biggest leap into physical intimacy is a huge hug, and B can’t be prouder of them

A and B narrowly survive some dangerous situation and have a serious realignment of priorities and newfound mad respect for each other

Actually, circling back to the whole “gay ships that ignore the canon hetero couple” thing:

This has been said before but if you’re looking for how to write a romantic relationship without sex, look no further than the male leads of many mainstream pieces of pop culture. Here, the presumption of romance isn’t built in, thus the writer has to actually put in effort to make these two characters like and respect each other, and give them things to talk about that isn’t just flirting. That’s what makes them feel more believable than the main man’s relationship with the cardboard lady lead.

[yellowocaballero]

Reading 'Solo Leveling' (a webtoon/webnovel about a guy who uses a game-like interface to level up and fight monsters and become ridiculously OP and the coolest and hottest guy in the whole wide world) really proves something to me that I've thought about.

The goal of a story is to achieve what it wants to achieve. Different genres have different certain marks the story should achieve. If it doesn't hit those marks, it's not a good example of the genre. In a lot of was it's not even a good story - it doesn't entertain the audience in the way that they want to be entertained. A romance novel isn't a bad story because it doesn't feature great action scenes, but neither is it a bad story because it doesn't delve deep into the sociopolitical implications of neocolonialism. Does it make the reader feel happy? Is it cathartic? Is there a happy ending? Then it's a good romance story - even if you think stories shouldn't need happy endings.

The 'satisfaction' of stories like Solo Leveling is the fact that is very entertaining to watch a guy be super powerful and mow down bad guys and have everybody around him go "WHOAH that's a cool guy". Maybe it's cool because you're projecting, or maybe you like great action scenes, or because you like 'underdog gets powerful' stories. It's a power fantasy. That is the goal of Solo Leveling, and so long as I'm going "WHOAH COOL", then it's a good story. And Solo Leveling is the example of the power fantasy video game dungeon OP protag. It does those elements, it executes them competently, it's a good story.

This is the third of these types of stories I've read more than 5 chapters of. The first was Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint. And baby. This is no ORV.

ORV a big reaction to Solo Levelling in a lot of ways, since Solo Levelling was very genre defining and influential, and it's hard to write these OP stories without having a relationship to Solo Leveling. It's like the most popular webtoon out there. The OP hero, the gaming interface and rules, the gods fucking you up, power fantasy - they're all checked off by ORV. It doesn't subvert them much. You watch kdj pull one over on a shmuck and you're like HEY YA BABY and you watch him utterly decimate some schmuck and you're like WHOAH COOL. You like ORV, basically, for the same reasons you like Solo Leveling. They're the same genre and in a lot of ways the same story.

But ORV has driven me nuts and after a while Solo Leveling has gotten boring. Because ORV has a fantastic supporting cast that puts the MC's OPness in relative perspective. Because there's cool action scenes with different teams, of different dynamics, giving freshness to each chapter. Because you get to see kdj slowly implement some nuts gambit of the course of the entire arc and when we finally hit the end point where it all comes together it's FUCK YEAH. I'm leaving out the actual depth here. But ORV and Solo Leveling do the same thing, except ORV has a great deal of other story elements that build into the main 'point' and escalate the satisfaction, joy, and intensity of those points. You don't read these OP hero novels for the supporting cast. You read it to watch a dude be cool. But ORV's supporting cast - and, like, the fact that they're actual characters, even the women - gives us a lot of other smaller 'hey yeah!' moments, gives it buildup, makes the OP moments meaningful, and gives a grand climax and huge satisfaction when kdj does what the SL guy did by himself. And the supporting cast is only one example of this. A story is a good story if it accomplishes its point, but a story like SL will never really deliver its promises nearly as well as ORV could. Not because ORV is deep and has """themes""" or fucked up shit like that. The 'WHOAH COOL's are just better. Because ORV knows why stories are good and what makes a good story.

Anyway I'm fucking begging you I have tears in my eyes this is why your fic needs more than the hot ship of the day I promise it won't detract from the ship it will make the ship BETTER but you have to get WHY you like these homosexuals so much and it's NOT just because they're CUTE sometimes there's OTHER REASONS THAT ARE IMPORTANT LIKE THE WOMAN YOU'VE BOOTED AND -

[shiki-aki]

Any ShikiAki doujinshi recc? I've only read the tentacle one

THE FACT THAT I INSTANTLY KNEW WHICH DJ YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID "the tentacle one" LMAOOOO I LOVE THAT ONE IT'S REALLY HOT and Shiki is just so dom in it...

ohhh but this is a really fun question, thanks for asking! I do have some personal favorite Shikiaki doujinshi, but if you have time and are really hungry for content, I also recommend checking out all the Shikiaki doujinshi here: https://myreadingmanga.info/togainu-no-chi-dj/

Anyway I do have a few that I love to reread (and I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to gush about them lol) so I'll list them here. They're not in any particular order (except for the first one which definitely takes the spot as my favorite).

Ragdoll

(I recommend you actually read this doujinshi first before reading my thoughts here because I end up spoilering it oops, SORRY HAHA. I just have so many thoughts on this doujinshi and I love talking about it!)

This is my all-time favorite Shikiaki doujinshi because it's the one that really made me take a closer look at Shikiaki and search for the nuances in Shiki's route, back when I first finished Shiki's route. I think this artist truly understood the Shikiaki dynamic and the themes in Shiki's route, and it shows in their writing. Like I can't stress how important this doujinshi is to me lol, if it wasn't for this I would have likely just dropped Shikiaki as a ship and moved on, because yes on a surface level, Shikiaki does seem very shallow; I won't deny that, but when you dig deeper, you'll find that there's so many layers to the ship? I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but hey, that's what my meta is for lmao, so that I can actually explain my thought process behind why this ship is actually quite complex.

The artist nailed it in exploring the "possession" theme in the Shikiaki dynamic and how Shiki hides his true feelings for Akira behind framing it as Akira being his possession, but Shiki is also obsessed with who Akira is as a person and values him for the traits he has. Essentially it plays with the theme of Shiki objectifying, but also humanizing Akira at the same time, and like... the contradiction is just amazing because like I said in my meta, it adds nuance and depth to characters when they act in seemingly contradictory ways.

But the doujinshi doesn't just stop there; it also touches upon Akira's characterization and the theme of him obeying his own will, which I think is important when it comes to wanting to understand ED1. It's not that Akira follows his abuser because he's in love with Shiki; he follows Shiki out of his own free will, because Shiki was the only one to truly accept him and see him for who he is, and that's why Akira will accept Shiki for who he is, even if Shiki is in a catatonic state. Also this doujinshi opened my eyes to seeing how Shiki was the one to "bring back Akira's will to live," which is definitely a point I harp on a lot in my meta lolll.

This doujinshi also made me understand Akira's character arc, with Akira appreciating the beauty of nature for what it is in ED1, and how he wants Shiki to do the same. It shows the duality between them: neither Shiki nor Akira appreciated life for what it is, or even the fact of living. Shiki was too hellbent on his goal and pursued it in a self-destructive manner, while Akira viewed life as meaningless and didn't see a reason to pursue anything in life. So at the end of their character arcs, both Akira AND Shiki need to realize the importance of living in the moment so they can finally have a fulfilling life together.

tldr: this doujinshi changed my life and it's the reason why I'm stuck in Shikiaki hell

2. Amber Sunlight Lit Up the Jade Dewdrops

(GOD THE COVER ART IS JUST GORGEOUS)

This doujinshi is drawn by the same artist who did "Ragdoll," so you already know it's gonna be good lol. I love the angst in this, but also the soft fluff. Again this artist understands the Shikiaki dynamic really well and what their brand of subtle intimacy would look like. I do think Shiki is slightly OOC here, but only because the scenario itself falls into OOC territory (Shiki catching a cold lol). Otherwise I think the artist did extremely well in still executing the idea they wanted to draw while keeping Shiki's and Akira's characterizations intact.

3. Babelist

I love this ED2 doujinshi because of how possessive Shiki is lmao, like straight up, this is what I reread whenever I want to see Shiki acting super unhinged and possessive. It's just a really good portrayal of Shiki and Akira's dynamic in ED2, with Akira being loyal to Shiki (but also trying to maintain an air of professionalism between them despite their private, intimate relationship) and Shiki giving absolutely zero fucks and just wanting to show off to everyone in the army how Akira is his lmao.

4. A3

This is the first Shikiaki doujinshi I ever read and I'm glad it was my first because it's definitely unique. It essentially weaves all 3 Akiras from the EDs together into one universe and shows what kind of dynamic Shiki has with each Akira. What I adore about this doujinshi is how it shows that, despite how different in personality each Akira is, Shiki loves all of them in the end because they're still Akira. The line at the end of the doujinshi, "You're all mine. However, the one who was captured is..." just straight up makes my heart quiver because of how Shiki-esque it is. It may look like Shiki is the one in control of the relationship because he's the dom and he "owns" Akira, but his heart was captured by Akira and he's chained by the feelings he has for Akira. Essentially just a subtle but very elegant way of showing how Akira has power over Shiki, too.

5. Inushiki

Drawn by the same artist who did "A3," this is such a heartwarming, wholesome, and fluffy doujinshi. I definitely like to reread it a lot because it's one of the few Shikiaki doujinshi that isn't downright angsty lol, it's just so domestic and cute. Also Shiki with dog ears and a tail is just... mwah. He's gorgeous <3. And of course it isn't Shiki if he's not possessive (and horny) as fuck lmao. This is the one doujinshi that I so desperately wish there was a sequel of because it's just so adorable it makes me roll around in bed T_T.

6. Lost End

This one is more on the smutty side, but the art is really good! This artist is quite well known for their TnC doujinshi (they don't only draw Shikiaki but other ships as well so yeah a bit of fun for everybody xD). My favorite part is the ending though... definitely love to see Shiki and Akira having a soft moment together (and Akira wanting to touch Shiki is just. adorable). I don't know, I just really like Shiki being soft and affectionate with Akira after he wakes up in ED1 (*¯︶¯*).

7. Evil Lova

I think you might enjoy this one in particular as it focuses on Shiki and Akira's domestic fluffy life after Shiki wakes up. It's quite short but it still shows Akira taking care of Shiki and worrying over him lol.

8. Insert

This is a direct continuation of "Evil Lova" but instead of Akira taking care of Shiki, it's Shiki being pissed that Akira is babying him, so Shiki decides to turn the tables and take care of Akira instead xD. Again it's short but it's still super fun and sweet to read about. I definitely like to headcanon that Shiki would be annoyed at Akira coddling him after he wakes up in ED1, but he understands that it's Akira's form of affection lol.

9. Black Milk

This one is a unique spin on the Dog!Akira from the Arbitro end, where Shiki manages to whisk Akira away from the Palace lmao. It leans on the smutty side but I like how the artist showed Shiki's discomfort with Akira being physically affectionate with him. Kinda emphasizes Shiki's tsundere side and how he's not used to being kissed or touched so affectionately, but he lets Akira touch him anyway <3 (and Akira remembering Shiki's name is just. aww).

10. Mill Milk

This is a direct continuation of "Black Milk." Again, leans on the smutty side, but also some humorous moments here and there lol. I really like Akira licking Shiki like a dog and Shiki allowing him to, tbh I feel like it's something we wouldn't really see in Shiki's canon route/EDs, but I totally vibe with it lol. Plus it leans into the "dog" aspect for Akira and Shiki's route is the one where the master/pet dynamic is heavily explored. (also the nipple sucking is. excellent.)

AAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG WOW I didn't mean to go on a tangent and rec so many doujinshi lmao but I hope you enjoy reading them!!! and thank you again for the ask :3 sorry I have so many Shikiaki thoughts lol

[valworth]

I do think that Wrightworth's popularity makes the AA fandom slightly uninhabitable. I'm by no means the first person to say this, but it sure is on my mind. This isn't to say I don't understand the appeal. I do. They have some incredibly strong moments and are an interesting, compelling couple. They are also both massive bitches, which is tremendously fun. My issue lies more so in how inescapable it is.

I think both Phoenix and Edgeworth deserve the grace to be interpreted apart from each other. They are individuals, with massive lives outside of the other. I think it's really insulting when some can't bear to think of the two apart, god forbid in other relationships, for more than five seconds before they have to make a joke about how they're the most important couple. We get it. Can people talk about something else, though?

Not only that, but I yearn for more varied and nuanced depictions of their relationship, if we're using them at all. My request will always be to make it fail. They're so compelling as a failed couple. I mean, god. You, on an obsessive whim, shape your life around chasing this guy. This guy you knew for a year in elementary school. You have other reasons, but always in your mind, there he is. This thing that's just out of reach, a goal to pursue. Then it happens. You get him, and you win, and it's everything you dreamed. And then it isn't. It just doesn't work. Plain and simple, cruel and real. You're not a good couple, and it crumbles, and every time you see him from that point forward, you have this pang of anger. This feeling of betrayal. You were not what I wanted you to be.

Then there's the inverse of that. The feelings that come from being a trophy, a conquest, an item. They both lack the emotional intelligence to talk about and navigate their own feelings, with Phoenix running head-on into everything with reckless abandon, refusing to question his own motives, and Miles having a tendency to detach himself from his issues as hard as he possibly can. It's such an interesting, flawed basis for a relationship. That's just my take, though. It's how I like them, and no one else will ever be beholden to my interpretations!

I get AA is escapism for a lot of people, and if that's how it works for you, total respect. But I crave variety, god I do. It's not about being right, it's not about being wrong, I just think there are so many ways to play with these characters and the fandom is stuck in a rut of samey-same content, both happy and sad. I'm not here to shame you for liking what you like, either. I'm pretty esoteric. I mean, Jesus. There's nothing less welcome in the AA fandom than a self shipper getting between Wrightworth. I don't mind doing my own thing, and I'm happier with fewer eyes on me anyway. If my stuff upsets you, that's okay.

That being said, I think I'd have a much easier time being around the fandom if people treated it less like there was a way to interpret the games correctly. The general fandom consensus is suffocating at times. Escapism can be dangerous if you don't know how to handle threats to your perception of a made-up world. I don't mean that to be condescending, I've just been there.

It was a breath of fresh air to leave the AA fandom for a while and focus on something built upon 18 years of fan-interpretations, with no right answers. Where every artist's version of them feels drastically different. It made me realize how silly this all is. It also made me remember how sad it was that when I joined the fandom and started trying to share my opinions on certain Phoen-ish ships, a popular AA blogger publicly ridiculed me and let their followers harass me. I just don't understand why the AA fandom compels people to feel like they have to be correct about everything. I've had to be very careful not to let feelings like that sour the whole franchise for me.

I myself have veered into that territory, and it's why I don't like writing this post. I don't want to be that person. I think everyone should be able to give each other space to do what makes them happy. If common fandom interpretations are what you like, then go with those. If you're like me, though, and you've ever been nervous to share headcanons and analyses that are unpopular, this is me telling you I think you're great. Say what you want, make what you want. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to be right. People might be mean about it, but you still deserve the right to self-actualization, even if no one else likes the things you do.

It's more important for you to post what you want than for others not to see it. If you're not hurting anyone, you can always rest assured that you've no reason to entertain their ire. From the bottom of my heart, just get silly with it.

[jingledbells]

Hey, I saw those replies you were getting to your Billford post and wanted you to know you're not alone in the slightest. So sorry to see people dogpiled on you like that. :(

Honestly, I think a lot of folks who wanted to ship Billford anyways were just glad to latch onto The Book of Bill to give the ship legitimacy. Which is odd, because the book does just the opposite: it shows how even MORE horrible Bill was to Ford (and other people).

People can write it off as "oh fun tee hee we're just joking it's just a cartoon" but I don't know, it just makes my stomach churn. If lighthearted "tee-hee" was their only goal, then... how come none of them make lighthearted jokes or art about Filbrick throwing Stan out of the house? Or Pacifica's parents controlling her with a little bell? Or Gideon trying to forcefully make Mabel love him in creepy ways and trying to make it cute? Or Bill and the Native American shaman he literally drove to suicide by fire? Or any other example of abuse or toxic relationships in the show?

These people need to ask themselves, if drawing art and making jokes about how cute Mabel and Gideon's toxicity was seems ick to them, then... why doesn't Ford and Bill's relationship/friendship cause similar ick vibes in them? Because what Bill did to Ford was waaaaaaaay worse than what Gideon did to Mabel.

And people can write it off as, "Oh, Bill and Ford are just interesting to me.". But why? Like, when I've personally discussed topics around abuse in Gravity Falls, it's been "hey, I see the way the writers depicted this, I think this is interesting, let's analyze how the abuse affected the characters negatively and why the abuser abused".

But that's different from, "UWU Gideon's still so obsessed over Mabel, tee-hee *draws art of him imprisoning her*". Or their version, "UWU Bill's so obsessed still over Ford, tee-hee *draws art of him imprisoning Ford*". These people aren't writing deep, analytical posts about BillFord for the most part, at least that I've seen. It's all "UWU cute divorce sexy toxic men kiss now lol".

Here's the answer: A. people are riding the wave of popularity from the book and just mind-sheeping about it without thinking about it, B. or they think BillFord is hot. That's it. That's why they don't do the same with Gideon and Mabel, or don't make jokes about Filbrick or Pacifica's parents, or Bill with the shaman. Because there's no sexy to be derived from it (or at least I hope frickin' not, yikes).

They can ship what they want, but the way they dogpiled on you was shameful. You were just pointing out how the way people are turning an abusive relationship into a cute little divorce joke that leans into sexy art at times makes you feel ick. You have every right to feel that way about BillFord.

tl;dr: You got attacked because people are mindless (and have horny monke brain in some cases), you pointed out the mindlessness, they got offended, and how dare you point out that it's neither sexy or funny. If anyone dogpiles on you again, ask them why they're not also making jokes and UWU cute shipping art about Bill and the shaman, or making jokes or art about Gideon's obsession with Mabel. Or ask them what they think about the fact that Bill admitted he's his species' equivalent of a preteen in TBOB, because yes, let's ship a preteen demon who abuses a middle aged man. Much funny, much hot (/barf).

They can say "it's just a cartoon, I know it's toxic, I wouldn't like it in real life obvi", but they won't be able to explain why they latched onto BillFord instead of literally any other abusive dynamic in the show. If they say Filbrick abusing the Stans isn't funny, Pacifica's parents abusing her isn't funny, Bill fooling and harming the shaman isn't funny nor cute, and Gideon obsessing creepily over Mabel isn't funny nor cute...

Then why is it funny and cute for Bill and Ford?

^^^

[artist-issues]

Day Nine💖

(reminder that if anybody wants me to stop sending these asks at any time, just tell me and I will stop!)

what is the thing that you are the most passionate about in life and why? what sparked your interest in it? is their a goal with it you want to reach, and are you actively working on your passion, or is it just something you know a lot about?

It should be Jesus but I don’t think it is, not perfectly, not all the time. What I tell myself and others it is, most of the time, is “storytelling.” But what I think it actually is (most of the time, but not when I’m in the Spirit) is self-glorification and wanting to be famous.

So there’s the triple-nature. What I should be passionate about, what I want to be passionate about, what I am passionate about underneath it all. But only one of those things is going to actually endure, and it’s “what I should be passionate about.”

Anyway.

What sparked my interest in storytelling was a combo of factors, but I remember the exact moment it came together clearly. I was getting ready for church and I’d been up all night (because at this point in my life I was like 19 and having trouble sleeping was a thing.) And I was trying to decide what to do with my life. I had interest in animated movies and in counseling but I didn’t know what to go to college for, so I was taking a gap year.

And as I was getting ready for church my draft table had the “Lilo & Stitch: Collected Stories From the Film’s Creators” book open on it, and I was listening to a worship playlist in my room and thinking about movies, and thinking about telling some of the kids I worked with in student ministries what made Lilo & Stitch kind of a Gospel story and how I could tell that to them convincingly.

(This is not my picture, but the book looks like this.)

It was open to the producer’s foreword. And this song came on my playlist:

Which is about how God is the inventor and producer behind everything. It’s Tyler Joseph and Travis Whittaker. But I wasn’t familiar with this song yet, so I thought the lyrics were saying “You’re the author, the producer, the inventor of the scene.” It’s not, it’s “inventor of the seed,” but whatever, same principle.

Then like I was having some kind of dramatic realization, the vague idea that all of life was a movie God made, and the main point was Himself, and all man-made stories that were good had nuggets of that in them, clicked together. I had never thought of reality that way before.

And ll through that morning’s service and yammering to my mother at lunch afterward, I was just thinking thinking thinking about it. About how, in movies, the setting tells the story as much as the characters and events tell the story. (Stitch starts out in vast outer space where all the ships look vaguely like fish—then the scene transitions to a small, folksy town with a local feel, but still plenty of fish imagery.) And how, in God’s “movie,” the plants and the way they work tell the story of the Gospel. Seeds, growth, death, rebirth. How the seasons do the same thing. How the animals do the same thing—the freakin caterpillar is a crawling worm, then goes into a kind of death for a period of time, then comes out a new creation.

The art of storytelling, settings, characters, narrative, and all, is just a hobbled-together copy of how God has been communicating from the dawn of time.

And my brain was racing, and I remember thinking about the idea that Christians are supposed to be “little Christs.” Well, if He was THE storyteller who told His story to show us Himself, then what better could I do than be a little storyteller who showed people Him, too? Not just with my career and my writing and art, but with the way I obeyed Him with my life, obviously.

But that’s how I decided what to go to school for. And that’s what got me into the industry I’m in now.

All that to say, if there’s anything that is actually accurate about reality and God in my little “realization” or philosophy, it’s only because God showed it to me, not because I came up with it myself. And if it’s not accurate, He didn’t show it to me, I made it up and heaven help me. But so far I think He did show it to me, so I keep trying to tell stories without letting that become an idol.

[themostineptthateverstepped]

Obviously, I am very tense about the Loki finale tonight, so this post may not age well, but I just have to say this.

The kiss in the season 1 finale was super weird. Not just because it was some strange version of selfcest, but because there was no real chemistry there. It genuinely felt like Sylvie's last-ditch effort to distract/confuse Loki enough to achieve her goal of killing He Who Remains. And that is exactly what that was. She kissed him, he looked completely defeated during said kiss, and then she kicked him through a time door, killed Kang, and then went about her life.

She did not look at all pleased to see Loki again, and there has been no spark of anything between them the entire season. Even when they join hands to use their magic, it looks like siblings. THEY READ LIKE SIBLINGS. There really hasn't been any effort put into developing their chemistry or connection romantically. Even in their most recent interaction at the bar, Sylvie is playing the detached therapist, trying to guide Loki into admitting what he already knows, the true "why" behind his mission, and it isn't her. She even explicitly defines that she has her own story and path and advises him to write his own. Separately.

Now all of this is a long way of saying that, if they move forward and push Sylkie on us at the eleventh hour, I won't be angry because it's not my ship, I will be angry because they did absolutely nothing to grow it, to nurture it, to have it make any real narrative sense.

Yes, this is Tumblr, and we all love a good gay ship (because we are sad and gay and starved for representation), but Loki and Mobius actually make narrative sense. Not only do they each represent the other's turning point and catalyst for growth and change, but they are also two characters that have developed into something together. Their evolution is incredible, and we have been given scenes all season that parallel their growth, in the way Mobius doesn't hesitate to trust Loki, how he embraces Loki's mischief, how Loki comes back to Mobius again and again, defends him, comforts him. They have actively built the framework for Lokius, even heavily implying that Mobius is the "who" that guides Loki's time slipping.

However they choose to manifest Loki and Mobius' relationship, if they leave it ambiguous, if it's queer-platonic, if it's whatever, they at the very least need to make it abundantly clear that THIS is the fundamental relationship. Their bond is the heart of the show.

Loki needs to love Sylvie because he needs to be able to love and embrace himself as he is, all of his strengths, and all of his weaknesses. Sylvie, who is still so impulsive and bent on revenge, is an excellent opportunity for him to see where he came from and love her anyway. But we've seen him face her impulsive violence, and instead of him meeting her there and joining in, we saw him become calm and compassionate - we saw how Mobius had helped him to grow. We need Loki and Sylvie to love each other, because that is how they are going to heal, it's how they aren't going to lose. But it's self-acceptance, it's the love you have to have before you can truly love someone else, and I think given Loki's long arc as a character, we need to see him beak out of his narcissism, move beyond just loving himself, and truly love someone else.

They more than paved the way for Mobius and Loki, and if they through that away for Sylkie, it won't just be sinking a perfectly good ship, it would be horrifically ignorant, wasteful storytelling. And this is the God of Stories, so if you fuck this up... I mean. Just don't okay?

[rustbeltjessie]

Hey friends—I, once again, could really really use some $$, and I decided to add a poll for traction cuz that seems to work on other people's posts. Anyway. I'm not in dire dire straits, in that my rent and utility bills are paid for the month, and we currently have food, but I'm basically entirely out of money otherwise. I need to make sure I can put gas in the car (it's almost on empty, and my kids both have doctor and dentist appointments coming up in the next couple weeks), as well as have money for other bills, household goods other than food, and anything else that might come up. My goal right now is $150-$300, but of course more than that would be even more helpful, as it would leave me in a better place heading into March.

Ways you can support me:

I have a Ko-fi, where you can purchase things I made, commission me for a custom collage, or hire me to proofread or line-edit your writing. If you're looking for zines to read, I have many. My main project right now is a year-long zine subscription, where I send you 1-3 mini zines every month. It's never too late to sign up—you can do it month-by-month, a six-month subscription will get you any combination of past and future zines that total up to six months' worth, and if you sign up for the full year at any point you will receive all past and future issues. February's zines, which will be sent out sometime in the next ten days, are going to be one containing a couple excerpts from the novel I'm writing, and another that's a remembrance of an old friend and a favorite band. I also got a pin (badge) maker for my birthday, and I've now put some of my designs up for sale on my Ko-fi.

Speaking of pins: I'm unofficially offering custom pin commissions. I'm not offering the type of service where you can send me your own design and I'll make hundreds of pins from it. What I mean is, for a base fee, you can commission me to design a custom pin for you. The base fee will include one pin made from the custom design. For an extra fee, you can pay for up to 10 more. If you are interested in something like that, please DM me, or email me at coeur(dot)de(dot)fantome(at)gmail(dot)com.

And, as always, if you appreciate the art and writing I share for free on my blog, in my Substack, and elsewhere, you can just tip me—either directly through Tumblr, or via Ko-fi, P*yP*l, or V*nmo.

P.S. If you live outside the US and need help calculating shipping costs, or you want to order something/hire or commission me but you prefer to do it outside Ko-fi, please DM or email me.

Ko-fi: ko-fi(dot)com/rustbeltjessie P*yP*l: coeur(dot)de(dot)fantome(at)gmail(dot)com V*nmo: (at) JessieLynnMcMains

And, as always, reblogging/boosting this post helps, too. 🖤💗

[codajaiden]

I don't get the gist of Nightbow (Rainbow Steve x Nightmare) like, how does that work??

(warning I might rant so much y'all would explode, correct me if I'm wrong tho)

"enemies to lovers!" No. Lemme clear this up for you

Nightmare and Rainbow were created to kill each other, hate each other's guts, there is no conversation or part in SS or RQ where they went and be normal people talking to each other and stuff (not that I can think of anyways)

"for fun" I don't care if it's for fun, sure it's funny but like????? How is it y'all's favourite????

I'm someone who likes to go insane just watching plot, WHILE YES, STEVE SAGA WAS JUST A RANDOM STEVE SERIES AND WAS VERY RANDOM WHEN IT COMES TO PLOT, ITS SILLY, ITS RANDOM

But y'all are like "I can fix them", there is nothing to fix???? they are literally people wanting to kill each other and that is their goal.

Oh and let's not forget, I have my eyes on the people who write in Wattpad, don't think I have not seen their "freaky" writing at all.

It's not only Nightbow at least, I see the people here who ship Rainbow and Void together, same thing, but if we're talking SS then there was still no good interaction of them both to be on the level of actually being good friends. Still, Wattpad people are freaky about them too.

This can be implied to Favremyrainbow ig, but to me it's very bland and boring. I admit I did in fact ship them, but as time passed I just stopped because it was so cringe 💀💀

I don't want to be mean and rude when it comes to this but it bugs me every time.

Okay the only thing I can counter this is Alux x Petro.

Petro and Alux are basically Anna and Hanz in Frozen, gaslighting and manipulation exist but dynamic and trust are important. There is communication towards the two that leads into something in the plot.

Nightbow has none of that, they hate each other's guts. People say they can fix them, nah, with Palux you can make them worse (/j) HEJWJEJWJSJA

"Petro and Alux's entire dynamic is mainly built off of manipulation" YES but thats on Petro's side. Most people ship it due to it being tragic on Alux's side because everyone in this fandom likes doomed mlm i guess (I'm one of those people but again the plot reasons goes on for both of their dynamic)

"But he stabbed him" YES. I have not seen a single person who ships them currently its mainly a one sided ship. For alux its built off genuine love and care for Petro, knowing he's the only REAL connection in his life. The people who ship them (from what I've seen) mainly do it for tragedy and narrative purposes. no one is actually here WANTING alux to be stabbed and abused

And for Petro it adds much more conflict to his character if you add like any romance to him. like, loving the person your meant to kill and killing them anyways is a really interesting narrative plot idea. Its also really funny tbh but oh well.

Narratively it adds more to their characters as long as you dont romantize it and treat it like it'd be healthy especially at this point in the story.

This is literally doomed Yaoi (it's funny I wanna say that) and it works so well because of how they were narratively written this way towards each other. This cooked better than some enemy wanting to, excuse my language, have freaky SHIZ going on with the Hero 💀

Okay I'm done with my ranting I'm sorry for the people who like Nightbow but I'm sharing what I'm saying and y'all are gonna respect it and not be problematic. I feel like I should not be on the internet for a good while late and night this is how freaky I get when it's past midnight lmao

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Shooting for the Michelin stars comes with a price

I keep thinking about the debt.

Walk with me here: In writing when you give your heroes what they want, you make them pay a price, it's not just a plot twist it's a literal "rain on your parade" moment that comes after the honeymoon period, which is usually fairly short in dramedies and it's a full-on breaking point. Meaning: Status quo does not stand a chance. Something's gotta give and usually that happens in the form of a crisis. The usual suspects include (but are not limited to) death, a fire, a trial, and a departure of some sort that doesn't include death but represents the end of an era anyway.

So, outta those possibilities, which are the most common and the ones I think will be brainstormed in The Bear's writers' room, I wish they went for the first one → death.

And here's where I get cutthroat, sorry, some characters make more sense dead. Their deaths mean progress, they are the omen, their wakes are the rites of passage, they help the plot move forward in a way no other plot device would and if handled correctly, they can even serve the ulterior motive of a happy ending (totally Austenian, I know).

Before I get into that full-on, I should clarify that all my musings have only one goal: determine the Sydcarmy friendliness level of a character, scene, storyline, etc. I couldn't care less about what's gonna happen on the show as a whole, I just care about how what may or may not happen on the show is compatible with my Sydcarmy endgame purpose and to what extent exactly? Full stop. The rest of the predictions are fun, sure, but don't really spike my curiosity or interest that much, I can totally live without them. Whilst I have dived into them and nailed some, obviously, it's like watching grass grow for me, IDGAF. The only predictions I truly care about are the Sydcarmy ones, mine and others´, because we have an awesome fandom that really pays attention to detail and treats the matter with the importance it has. It's not just a ship like any other, shipping Sydcarmy became a mission because it's us against the world pretty much, even though we have grown in numbers since The Bear slayed during the past award season, we still need to deal with a lot of 💩💩💩 from the anties and the neutrals and of course, the racists, and the gaslighting cast and crew, so it's literally us against all odds. Hence, I may not agree with everything I read around here all the time, of course, but we are brothers in arms, guys. #RESPECT.

That being said I think Cicero (aka The Godfather) is better off dead so The Bear's debt dies with him. Because, and here's the whole argument I took my sweet time to make, thanks for sticking around:

Source: Chef's pencil.com (2024)

In the graphic above we can see the ever-rising prices the customers have to pay to dine there, those are only the current ones, that graphic will be outdated by fall of this year when menus rotate. Naturally, those numbers are directly proportional to the ever-rising production costs. Besides, let's not forget that when a restaurant is granted a star, to maintain it, it needs to innovate. They can't keep it by doing the same thing they were doing when they were rewarded that star to begin with. If the "inspectors" don't perceive there's enough innovation in the menu the next year, they can remove the star/s that was/were previously granted, that's why retaining stars is a lot harder than getting them. So that equals higher costs, in other words: more money and sometimes, less revenue.

Michelin-star restaurants' costs are always on the rise, always, no matter what. That is why they are usually acquired by "Groups" or corporations that can endure the financial blow of keeping the restaurant operational and still maintain a somewhat solid profit margin. Also, their business model tends to branch out to books, private events or collaborations, etc to get different streams of income, other than the actual dining experience provided to their customers on-site. Usually, all of that has a cost structure that requires the backup of a corporation, and there are investment groups that specialize in providing that kind of support to the restaurants, kind of what Cicero does but at a much larger scale, and legit.

So: when The Bear gets its star (notice I say when and not if) our heroes will get what they want and shortly after will be "payback time", sorry I didn't make the rules. More details that back my assumption about the star can be found here.

What I want and wish to happen is that the "payback" is a crisis along the lines of: "OK, we got the bullshit star but we are still not making ends meet and if we wanna keep it, then that means we are nowhere near paying off the debt we have with The Godfather and thus he will take it all, that was the deal, we are gonna be left with nothing, all of this for nothing -I'm sorry, Syd, but hey! We still have each other, right?-". See the dramedy?

And that leads me to think that if Storer kills Cicero off we will all be happy, The Bear will keep its star (debt free) and will continue operations and Sydcarmy can flourish after that crisis, which most likely strained the relationship but they will be able to make it up.

Unrelated (?) Plus The Godfather, in the movie, really dies and gives the inheritance to his son (Al Pacino). You can watch that death here and I hope I'm not the only one who can see poetry in his death, surrounded by tomatoes on a beautiful sunny day... Awww.

I have plenty of reasons to call Cicero the Godfather but I won't dive into those yet. Raincheck? After watching season 3 I will give Cicero a run for his money if Storer doesn't ax him first as a cliffhanger, that is (which I think would be all kinds of awesome but I won't hold my breath for that one). He's shady, he does "Risky business", I can tell.

Summing up: At the end of S3 we should have a star or James Beard award which is the prequel to a Michelin Star and that will take us straight to payback and the need to tie that loose end either as a cliffhanger in S3 or in S4, which I think will be more like a series finale because I never saw The Bear as a 5 season arc, I always thought that 4 were enough and I was right about the renewal, so even though I hope I'm wrong in thinking there will be no S5, I don't think I am because the story can totally get a great closure in 4 seasons. So, by then, Cicero should be gone and we should be starting to see that in S3.

He should be the price they will all have to pay to get what they want. 🤞

I haven't forgotten about my ulterior agenda:

Level of Sydcarmy friendliness of Cicero's death → 💯

It will secure the restaurant, liberating them from the debt and bringing them closer together because Syd's shoulder can be the shoulder Carmy cries on when the only father figure he has left, after Mikey's death, is gone = 😍.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

Overall what do you think of mythic quest? It's on my list to watch. How would you intrigue someone to watch it

(just want to preemptively say that I know this ask has been sitting in my inbox for months and I am so sorry for taking so long to get back to you)

I absolutely love mythic quest. It's my #4 sitcom of all time, which might sound not very high, but numbers 1-3 are taken by the good place, community, and it's always sunny, and I mean. there's no beating those. anyway

I don't know how much you know about it, so I'll give a quick introduction. mythic quest is centered around a video game studio, which produces a video game of the same name. season one opens with them launching their new expansion: Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet. the show follows around the different employees of the company as they each chaotically try to achieve their goals. there are a lot of sitcoms centered around a workplace (the office, parks & recreation, brooklyn nine-nine, superstore, just to name a few), so I suppose you could say mythic quest follows a similar sort of formula to those. but, I think it's super unique and has a lot of stand-out qualities, which I love. it's difficult to make something so unique, to do things on tv that have never been done before (or, at the very least, are rarely done) and I think mythic quest does a great job with all of that.

for one, the types of interpersonal relationships mythic quest portrays are extremely unique. it's hard to go into detail without spoiling too much, but I'll do my best. the show is definitely an ensemble sitcom (a whole gang of "main" characters), but I'd say the show focuses mainly on Poppy and Ian, and their relationship. but, they make it explicitly clear that they are NOT romantically or sexually involved. there's a few jokes here and there, but they react with disgust every time. their relationship is 100% platonic, throughout all three seasons that are out, and it is the FOCUS of the show. how many tv shows have done that? hell, how many stories, period? it's so incredibly important to me, especially as someone on the aroace spectrum, and it makes mythic quest that much more unique and interesting.

(disclaimer that of course there are some people who ship poppy and ian together, which is just kind of. objectively wrong imo. but yk. people can do whatever they want I suppose. the point is, that ship will never sail in canon.)

the ONE current romantic pairing is a lesbian couple!!! that is just SO wild to me. literally none of the other main characters have any sort of (canon) romantic subplot or anything. and the lesbians don't get put through a ton of heartbreak and unnecessary drama either!!! there's pining, there's slight miscommunication and the characters themselves go through some things, but the relationship itself??? pretty much thriving, even through the end of season three. again, SO incredibly important to me.

the character work, writing, and acting is also exemplary. given that mythic quest is already on your list to watch, you probably know some of the actors who are in it: namely, Rob McElhenney, Danny Pudi, David Hornsby, Ashly Burch, etc. The show was created by Rob McElhenney, Megan Ganz, and Charlie Day, who all obviously worked together on iasip. Megan actively writes for MQ, Rob stars in and writes, and Charlie has been pretty hands-off since the show actually got up and running, but who knows. maybe he'll have a cameo one day. David, Danny, and Ashly have all also been involved behind the scenes. I'm sure there's other stuff I’m missing, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head, production and acting-wise.

one of the biggest things that makes mythic quest unique is that, once a season, they have a "backstory" episode, which provides context to a different aspect of the show. the first time I watched season 1 and the backstory episode came on (it's called "A Dark Quiet Death") I had to double check that I didn't accidentally click on another show lmao. I didn't know What was going on. the backstory episodes from seasons 2 and 3 have more immediately recognizable connections to the main story, so they're easier to follow right off the bat, but yeah. the mythic quest backstory episodes are absolutely fantastic. it allows the writers to play with different story layouts, deviate from the established feel of the show, introduce different characters, etc. I could talk about each one for hours, but I won't right now. but yeah. those episodes alone would make the show worth watching.

a few other things I love: danny pudi playing mean, brad as a character in general, the chemistry the characters and actors have, the way it's shot is beautiful, the post season 1 specials (quarantine and everlight), how fleshed out and real the universe is (so much so that I thought mythic quest was a real game for a while), the animations they use as scene transitions, the multitude of background details that I notice more of on every rewatch, the sheer complexity of the characters, the diversity and representation (queer characters, mental health issues, familial trauma, etc), and god so much more. I could go on and on and on about this show. because this ask was so long ago it's possible you've already watched it but if you haven't please do! if you're not the asker and you haven't seen mythic quest and are reading this, ALSO please do! and let me know what you think afterwards If You So Choose. as we've pretty clearly established, I am always super down to talk about my favorite shows :)

TL;DR: mythic quest is amazing and I would recommend it to anyone. unique episode/season layouts, dense worldbuilding, great writing and acting, lesbians, hilarious yet occasionally heart-wrenching plots, complex characters, and so much more. give it a shot. you won't regret it 👍👍👍 (plus season 4 is coming out this year!!!)

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

I doubt literally anyone else will care about this, but this has been a mini goal/desire of mine for so fricken long now, so I wanted to at least share it here, ha.

Anyway, TPWP is one of my more popular fics. It took a while to get there when I was posting, creeping up with the kudos and hits and everything each week, but by god did it get there. Once I finished posting it and it plateaued in statistics, the only fic that was above it in terms of popularity was my old fic, A Pirate’s Life (APL), which I had written when I was like 17-18 I believe. And APL is not a bad fic, no. It’s just definitely unpolished and a bit rough in spots. And the ship itself is a bit ehhhh, though I always liked the fanon interpretation of the ship much more than anything from canon. I’m digressing though.

Anyway, I always privately hoped that TPWP would surpass APL in popularity, since I much prefer TPWP in terms of writing ability and the ship itself. I also wanted my most kudosed and ‘popular’ fic to be something that reflected my current writing level and ships, not something I wrote and liked when I was newly an adult. While I know now that the number of kudos on a fic ultimately doesn’t matter too much and doesn’t really say if a fic is popular or not, TPWP having more kudos than APL was always a private goal of mine, something I privately wanted and hoped for.

However, after I had finally finished posting TPWP and the last of the rush of kudos came in from that, I saw that TPWP was almost 200 kudos away from APL, and given the fact that fics will often stagnate in kudos/hits once they’re complete and haven’t posted in a couple months (at least in my experience), I had a feeling that I’d never really make this goal. And it was a little disappointing, but I never let it bother me too much. Plus, starting last year I had a new most popular fic (thanks, Luigi and the Beast), so I had something else that reflected my modern writing style and ships, so it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore in my mind.

Still, part of me wanted TPWP to surpass APL, and today, it finally happened. While this can obviously still swap since I do still get kudos on APL from time to time, the fact that TPWP not only managed to reach APL’s kudos count, but surpassed it even once? I never thought that would happen, to be honest. I never thought that TPWP would manage to get almost 200 extra kudos once I stopped posting regularly, since in my experience that doesn’t happen often. Usually I’ll get a decent amount once it’s no longer an active fic, but not enough that it would surpass another old fic that was gaining passive kudos too.

Anyway, I’m not so sure where I’m going with this. As you can see from my screenshots, it’s like 5am where I am now, and my brain just woke me up and refuses to let me go back to sleep (a common occurrence these days, for some reason. I’ve long since stopped asking why my brain does what it does in regards to sleep. It’s better that way), so I’m kinda rambling.

The point, I suppose, is that this was a goal of mine for so long now, and I’m honestly kind of proud and happy that I finally reached it. While I do have problems with TPWP, ultimately I am very proud of it and it makes me so, so happy that people are still enjoying it all of these years later. When I started writing fanfic over 13 years ago at age 13, I never would have expected to be here. My writing was meh at best and I struggled a lot with getting my thoughts and ideas across. There’s a reason I will never post my fanfiction.Net username, even though my oldest fics are still posted there. Writing was just something I did for fun and as a way to show my love for my fandoms; it was never anything serious. But I always wanted to write a fic that mattered… you know? That stuck with people. That people genuinely liked and that maybe even helped them. You know?

I think I managed that with TPWP. I’ve gotten so many comments over the years thanking me for writing it, people saying that they will go back to it and reread it from time to time, that it helped them, etc. I was always so grateful and happy that I was able to write something that resonated with so many people, which had been a dream of mine ever since I started writing and would cry tears of frustration when I struggled to get my thoughts across how I wanted to.

And, like I’ve said. I know that kudos/favorites are not the only metric to determine if a fic is popular or ‘good.’ However, it has always been a good base for me to gauge interest in my fics, to see roughly what people think of it. And, even though it prolly shouldn’t, the amount of kudos/favorites on my fics has always mattered to me. Ever since I was a young child I’ve had an intense desire to be liked. But more than that, I always wanted to be ‘the favorite.’ To be ‘the best.’ Even when I knew I never would be, simply because I lacked the skill or patience to be ‘the best.’ I still would always want that, and it would hurt me deep inside to know that I just… wasn’t. Yes, I was smart, but I was never ‘the smartest.’ Yes, I was well liked by my peers, but I was never ‘popular.’ Yes, I was always doing well and could hold my own in most things I tried, but I was never (and would never) be ‘the best.’ I just couldn’t. I was either too unskilled, too impatient, too shaky (physically, in some cases), too… everything, and I could never, ever be the absolute best at anything, really. I just physically couldn’t. I’d never be the best singer, I’d never be the best artist, I’d never be the best writer, I’d never be the best chef, I’d never be the best creator, and I’d never be that elusive ‘favorite.’ Never, never, never.

And it hurt. A lot. Growing up and even to this day. But I’ve gotten so much better with it over the years. With the knowledge that I will never be ‘the best,’ that I will never be ‘the favorite,’ and that this is okay. And, in fact, not only is this okay, but it’s expected. Perfection is a myth and it’s impossible to achieve. I spent over 375k words trying to showcase this fact, because it’s something I still, to this day, three months past twenty-six, struggle with. But I’m getting there. By god, am I getting there. And by removing that desire to be ‘perfect,’ to be ‘the best,’ I’ve improved so much in every field I create work in. Once I did away with the desire to create something ‘perfect,’ I was able to make things that were just ‘good enough.’ Is this art project I spent hours working on made more of hot glue than its actual art medium? Yes, but it’s made. And it looks nice enough. And while it will never win any awards, I like it. Is my writing repetitive, derivative of itself, sometimes rushed, and more focused on angst than plot? Yes. But it’s made. And it’s good enough. And people like it. And, most importantly of all?

I like it.

I like it. Even if it isn’t ’perfect.’ Even if it won’t win awards. Even if no one else on the planet likes it, if everyone looks at it and goes ‘… okay, so what?’ I like it. I spent so much time and effort creating it. I did everything I could to make it properly. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit lumpy. If it has exposed seams. If it doesn’t look like other people’s creations. It’s made, and I made it, and I put my heart and soul into it, and that? That’s what matters. I learned while making it, and next time I make something similar, I’ll do better. And the time after that? I’ll do better again. And again. And again. I’ll never reach ‘perfection.’ I’ll never make something that people will look at, gasp, and think ‘my god, that’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.’ I’ll never reach that impossible goal that I made for myself when I was a young preteen, painfully insecure and wanting to find validation in others. I never will reach this goal, never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

But I will get better. I will improve from what I’ve done before. And I will get stronger in every possible way I can, and I will forgive myself for the ways that I can’t. I have a lot of limitations, things I cannot physically or mentally overcome. And I will forgive myself for it. I will. I will.

And I guess, at the end of the day, that’s my point here. That perfection is a lie, that there is no end, that there is only improvement and self-appreciation. APL represents this a lot for me. At 17-18, I still struggled with this so much. I spent all of my high school years riddled with self-hatred and anxiety, wanting to be the best, but riddled with the knowledge that I never would be. I crashed and burned in middle and high school because of this. I was so terrified of never being all I wanted to be that I let myself burn to ash, to give up completely, because that was better in my mind than trying my hardest and failing. I always failed at what I wanted to do, and I was so focused on that supposed ‘failure’ that I failed to see how far I had come. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the favorite,’ I was still well liked. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the best,’ I was good enough. I was good enough. And I always would be. This is something I didn’t realize at 17-18, not yet.

But I do now. I do now, and TPWP represents that for me in many ways. Perfection in a myth. Unilateral adoration and love is impossible. And no matter what, every time you create you will get a little better, a little better, a little better. And so, the only thing you can do is create. And love what you create. And keep trying no matter what, all so that you can create more in the future and grow. So you can do what you love without fear of failure.

Anyway, this has gone on much longer than anticipated. It was just supposed to be a quick ‘haha look! I succeeded at an old, useless goal! :-D’ But somehow it turned into this. But that’s okay. That’s just who I am. I like to ramble. I like to get my thoughts out there into the world. I’m pretentious and think way too deeply on things that matter to no one else. It matters to me. It matters to me. And it doesn’t matter if no one ever reads this, or if people read it and roll their eyes at my pretension. I wrote this for me, to just get this out there in the world, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters. That’s what’s important. Not what the ‘invisible audience’ in my head screams at me every day.

I hope y’all have a good day. :-)

[onewomancitadel]

A smattering of general updates:

I played Tears of the Kingdom. I didn't really enjoy it. I understand why it was popular though; I'm just not the demographic for these types of video games anymore. I didn't find it creatively rewarding and after a time I sat there thinking 'I would rather be writing right now', and since then I have learnt that writing is made easier by doing things which are not writing, because it makes me miss it. My dad also doesn't really like it but for some reason has played hundreds of hours in it. I don't know either - I think he will take anything called Zelda at this point.

I spectated the Doctor Who David Tennant Special and watched some clips of the new season. I'm not a fan of RTD, and not a DW fan anymore (not for a long time), but it was an interesting study in how studios try to attract old and new fans.

I read a lot of books, and that lie people tell you about all books being good for you is a lie, because a cyberpunk anthology of short stories made me so angry I got heartburn. I think people who say that are saying so because they wish that they could read a lot, in which case I say, yes I think reading is a gift and we should engage with it, however, sometimes I get so physically angry from something stupid/bad I've read because bad writers exist that it gives me actual pain. I am reading Howl's Moving Castle right now and it's very joyful; I am very surprised by the liberties the animated film took! However so far I do think both experiences are worthwhile, and if you enjoyed the Ghibli film, I very much recommend checking out the original book if you want to revisit that world again. The prose is straightforward but a little whimsical, and Howl is very, very funny. I have laughed aloud a few times.

Well, you know I rewatched Dark, and it's funny that during my exile I said 'this is like if RWBY got the ending it deserves' and then, er, I found out it's not renewed yet, and that's still up in the air, which for the entirety of RWBY I have only had one true moment of doubt of such a thing, and that was a while ago.

On that topic, yes, I still ship Jaune/Cinder, believe Cinder's redemption is likely, etc., although there are some more external concerns I would wager now than before. Before I thought it very possible to do without any commercial influence, and it depends what compromises they do or don't end up making or having already made. My analysis of Jaune's arc in V9 may not hold water as much (e.g. if you lean towards the view there were rewrites to cater to growing the audience, or perhaps it's two ideas married? I'm not sure) so I'm going to think about it more, and there always has been a tension in RWBY between what is being expected/baited and what is foreshadowed/said/actually happens.

I figured out how to write again and what was blocking me, so there's that. To talk about it a bit more, since my break I have worked every single day on writing. My key takeaways are that you need a delicate balance of delusion and self-doubt to get anything done - you don't know you can do something until you actually do it - and every excuse I invented for not writing was not the reason I was not writing. I can write with a migraine beginning to set in on an uncomfortable desk where I can't even rest my elbows properly on the end of a bed with no back support without aircon in the middle of summer before I've even taken my hair out from bedtime plaits in my pyjamas. I didn't even expect to get my fic done right before midnight, actually I was like 'well lol that's not going to happen, I'll write anyway though, fuck New Year's' because I wasn't doing anything, and then I finished and looked at the time and was like ooooh. I actually completed my goal! So I'm very proud of that. Anyway writing is breathing, to me, I go crazy if I don't do it, no matter what it is, and every single piece of nonsense advice of productivity was not helpful, ever, but I did figure it out. Also admittedly I got a fire burning under me again because I found out I was actually right about Raven, in which case I took that as a sign from heaven I was on the right track. One should hope.

I am excited about Dune Part Two, yes, although I am trying to avoid Villeneuve talking about the film because I know all the marketing is basically directed at people who aren't Dune fans, and I have to see it for myself to see what it's worth. I enjoyed the first film, and Villeneuve seems excited to direct Dune Messiah, in which case I am willing to do whatever possible to make that happen. Because that's about as complete a story you're going to get in a major motion picture adaptation and it would be So Fucking Good.

[la-pou-belle]

normally I would just put this in the tags of a critical post to keep it concise, but sadly rbs have been turned off! I guess dogpiling sucks when it happens to YOU, right? anyways,

just wanted to say that, yeah, it's proper fandom etiquette to tag things. even if they are only mentioned and then later confirmed to not actually be happening in the fic. That said ,, and before we forget, it is not a REQUIREMENT. Just as it's not a requirement for fic writers to post and share their products at all. Just as it's not a requirement to read and consume then. When people provide completely free services (like, say, writing, editing, and publishing and entire novel), and it's entirely up to you on whether or not to consume those services, it's a little weird to make extra demands, no? And especially to inflate these demands to the point of character assassination; not only dogpiling on the author, but all of the authors fandom friends, leading them to delete all of their soc med and hard crafted works in the process.

so you didn't like someone's fanfiction. and it was POPULAR fanfiction! that sucks. But arguments about transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc. have already been well disputed in the very post I can't reblog, and I think it's abundantly clear that the author should not be punished for following established canon (i.e. Claw's canonical torture of children and Toichiro Suzuki's openly proclaimed eugenicist goals in taking over the world for "superior" ESPers) to a logical conclusion and for adding a layer of realism to the work.

It's not their fault you, quite frankly, didn't think very hard about what you saw and understood in both S1 and S2 of mob psycho. it sucks that it makes you uncomfortable. But it's not a stranger's job on the internet to completely wash their works of anything that reflect messy and uncomfortable reality to coddle you, a voluntary consumer of their media. And a fan writer absolutely should not be punished for producing a canon-universe work, when you yourself are a fan of the canon. The fan author, very obviously, does not condone transphobia, racism, pedophilia, or any other accused thing, just by depicting it in their freely made and voluntarily consumed fanwork. Just as ONE, very obviously, does not condone the torture of children, or child abuse, just by depicting it in Claw's organization and in Shou and Toichiro's relationship.

All of what I've said is about Side Quest, but it's absolutely disgusting that for some reason, the backlash over that specific fic went over mere criticisms of the work to harassing the author. Not only this, but to use the final chapter of Side Quest, and all of the produced fan art within it, as a blacklist of Twitter handles and social medias to then ALSO harass the authors fandom friends is purely unacceptable behavior. If you want an author to tag their works better, simply ask them to do so; do not harass them and their friends. If you want your "fandom" and "ship" to stay alive, you MUST learn how to dislike things normally and respectfully; otherwise, how can you expect people to continue to produce novels for free? At a minimum, you need to recognize that your fellow fans are real, live people and do not deserve targeted harassment, and if you truly believe them to be dangerous, contact a moderation team and avoid their fanworks.

on a personal level, I'm offended that you think I, and many others who genuinely enjoyed Side Quest, lack media literacy. I've always been a fan of canon compliant and divergent fics that follow canon implications to their logical conclusions, especially when that involves recognizing the problematic and uncomfortable aspects of reality. You may have watched mob psycho uncritically, but I did not, nor did I read Side Quest uncritically. I'm frustrated that these projections have led to more of my little joys and favorite thought-provoking fic becoming inaccessible to me, but mostly... I'm sad that these authors shared their works while not fully understanding how uncritical, reactionary, and ungrateful their audience truly was.

[cadmusfly]

#I have thoughts on Pokémon teams for some of the marshals omg pleaseee make a post about it i would love to read it <3

Made those tags on this post by @bambooale - and yeah, I love Pokemon ever since I played Pokemon Blue as a small child and named my Venusaur "AAAAAAAAA" so I definitely have pokemon thoughts!

I was thinking about answering this in the form of drabbles but I do have Assignments, but I am Tempted to write some silly fanfic about this at some point.

Edit: I wrote fanfic oops

Michel Ney and a Balloon

Young Murat and Bessieres and art by @apurpledust !!!

Anyway, using this page to put together pokemon teams for Lannes, Murat, Ney, Bessières, Soult, Masséna, Davout and Napoleon, and feel free to disagree or talk about your own thoughts!

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Lannes

Dubwool, Ampharos, Aegislash, Diggersby, Ceruledge, Falinks

Obviously Lannes needs the two sheep(ish) pokemon in his team: Dubwool and Ampharos. Even if Ampharos loses its wool as it evolves, maybe he got it as a cute Mareep and still loves it.

The other pokemon are based on him as an infantry commander who participated in besieging fortifications - Diggersby for tunnelling, Aegislash and Ceruledge as... swords, ghostly swords who "fell before accomplishing their goal"

and Falinks, well, Lannes was known as the Roland or Achilles of the Grande Armee, Achilles was Greek, Falinks is kinda Greek-

but I was also thinking that Falinks fits Napoleon a lot as well, especially with seeing that drawing by bambooale-

What if Napoleon looked after Lannes' Falinks after he died?

Interesting thoughts.

-

Ney

Mudsdale, Pyroar, Armarogue, Talonflame, Lycanroc, Drifblim

The entire reason I started thinking about this was because I thought it would be extremely funny if Ney had a Drifblim because of the time a guy claimed to have invented a hot air balloon for battlefield reconnaissance, sold the idea to Ney and promptly disappeared with the money.

It would be even funnier if in Poke-verse, the guy sold Ney a Drifloon.

Mudsdale is because Ney started out as a hussar/cavalryman, Pyroar because "that man is a lion!", Talonflame is a brave bird that has the powerful recoil-causing moves Brave Bird and Flare Blitz, Midnight Lycanroc is red and loves to charge in, Armarouge is also red, loyal and gallant.

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Murat

Rapidash, Milotic, Sylveon, Gallade, Sirfetch'd, Vanilluxe

Obviously a horse man needs a horsie, and a fiery unicorn is definitely up Murat's alley. As the beau sabreur of France, he also needs valiant swords-pokemon by his side, and also the most fashionable and beautiful pokemon with him, such as one that grows from an unassuming fish into a splendid creature and one that evolves with love and affection.

I was stuck on the last pokemon to give him. It's a bit anachronistic, but what if King of Naples had, uh, Neapolitan ice cream.

Sorry.

Also Rapidash and Sylveon go along with...

-

Bessières

Galarian Rapidash, Zebstrika, Swanna, Indeedee, Furfrou, Glaceon

Another horse man obviously needs a horsie, and look, I enjoy Murat and Bessières's friendship and shipping, I do like the idea of paralleling them with their Rapidashes and Eeveelutions.

I was thinking Umbreon because Umbreon is my favourite eeveelution and Umbreon evolves via happiness, but Glaceon's hair kinda fits and Bessières was described as seeming to be "cold". Ah well, I'm sure Glaceon loves him anyway.

Zebstrika is another horse, and Bessières is described as having eyes that "project lightning bolts". I think there's a description of his manor's lake having swans, and he did teach his men to swim at one point? Indeedee is a gentlemanly pokemon, and Furfrou, there was a claim that Bessières was a hairdresser at one point, and he does wear his hair in "dog ears".

-

Soult

Dachsbun, Appletun, Smeargle, Oranguru, Thievul, Skarmory

I could have filled this all up with baking jokes. Dachsbun, Appletun, Centiskorch, Alcremie, Slurpuff, uh, maybe I couldn't. Exeggcute. Anyway.

Soult had an appreciation for art and took some from the pieces that had already been looted, and I think with him being known for Strategy he might enjoy Smeargle's potential in learning Any Move. Oranguru is a teacher, Soult was a drill sergeant, same thing, right.

Thievul... Soult was not the worst plunderer but gained a reputation for being such. I was thinking a dark type to represent that reputation (as well as the Roi Nicolas thing) and tossing up between Liepard - as the Dalmatia coat of arms has leopards - and Thievul. But then I thought about the Duke of Wellington going "View Halloo! I have you now!" to Soult, years later, and the association of that kind of cry with fox hunting, and the legend of Wellington going fox hunting with French soldiers, and that clinched it.

Skarmory is because I wanted a steel type for Monsieur "Iron-Arm", a lot of steel-types I've already put aside for the obvious, and Skarmory is my favourite Pokemon. Their feathers harden in the thorny nests that they grow up in, that's totally like what Soult did at the camps of Boulogne right.

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Masséna

Clefable, Klefki, Gholdengo, Persian, Sneasler, Grimmsnarl

I admit I got a bit stuck here.

Sneasler, Klefi and Grimmsnarl are inspired by Masséna as a smuggler before rejoining the army, with Sneasler helping out in the mountainous areas.

Clefable is based on thoughts of the "Dear Child of Victory" - I didn't want to use Legendaries here, otherwise there is Literally A Victory Pokemon - and I kinda characterise Masséna in my head as a gambler, so a pokemon with Metronome makes sense to me.

Persian and Gholdengo is because he did like his plundering and he was pretty salty about losing his "Livorno millions"!

-

Davout

Metagross, Bisharp, Lucario, Corviknight, Bastiodon, Swellow

Oh look this is where all the steel types went, to the Iron Marshal. I really wanted him to have Metagross and Bisharp as they'd make great buddies for a tactician and strategist, and then the other three steel types are also just cool for the goddamn Iron Marshal.

Swellow is purely because of the cute partridge story (and this is the second time I've referenced something @northernmariette has posted!). Swellow also has the ability Guts, where its attack rises if it is afflicted with a status problem. I think Davout is pretty gutsy, too!

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Napoleon

Empoleon, Dragapult, Vespiquen, Clawitzer, Falinks, Braviary

Napoleon needs an Empoleon, the pokemon literally named after Napoleon.

Dragapult and Clawitzer are artillery pokemon. Vespiquen and Braviary are symbolic of the First French Empire, with Vespiquen's rulership over Combees being very fitting.

And Falinks could both represent the Grande Armee... and also be a remnant of his fallen friend.

-

Miiiiight write some fanfic for this if the inspiration hits and I survive this last week.

Thank you very much for the ask though! I leave you with a meme screenshot from the Pokemon game set in Pokemon France: