#anyway no one gives me shit for not driving anymore but man the concept of cars is fucked and i hate them and riding in them

[h0neywheat]

I honestly do not understand how people can be calm and enjoy driving. there's so many rules of the road and shit to pay attention to and possible distractions that can result in tragedy. it's mentally exhausting and unpredictable. if you make a mistake the best case scenario is someone honking, the worst is ending up dead or killing someone.

[bookaddict05]

Girl in the chair

This is a spin off series inspired by @ladmarkinnit's web head series. This is from the point of view of Tess in his series. Unsure to what may happen yet as I just go with the flow but will be heavily linked with Ashes series, so I recommend you go over and read his story to, plus its a really good story so you should just go and read that one anyways.

TW: domestic abuse (emotional)

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UGH Monday rolls around once again, why do the weekends always seem to fly over so fast. Luckily we have a field trip for most of the day so no proper lessons are scheduled for the day. I wake up this morning getting ready into my favourite pair of blue ripped jeans and picking up my new brown aesthetically pleasing crop top I bought on a shopping spree I had to force Milo to go on with me yesterday. Matching this cute little outfit with a brown and blue tartan jacket to top it off.

I walk down the stairs of my house and walk into the kitchen. I see my mam sitting down at the kitchen island waiting with my lunch for the day. I grab my Jeep car keys off the counter and give her a hug and kiss goodbye as I leave the house.

"DRIVE SAFELY PET" She shouts as I close the door behind me.

-- 10ish minuets later--

I arrive at school just in time to jump on to the school bus for the school trip, I still don't see why they wont let me drive my own car to Octavius labs its not like me and Milo were planning to skip... Okay we were but they didn't know that.

I run up the steps of the bus, pushing through people blocking the pathway for no reason and drop into the seat next to Milo.

"Shove along short ass" I say teasingly. Me and Milo have been Best friends now for about 8 years. You would rarely see us without the other somewhere near. We are practically attached to the hip.

"You look like shit" I state while laughing at the state he is in.

"You should see the other guy" He retorts with a big gin over his face "I did" I say laughing back at him again.

We talk for a little bit catching up on the events that have happened between yesterdays shopping spree up until I sat down next to him on the bus. I have an immediate thought that makes my whole body light up.

"Please join the rugby team Milo, you'll love it". He stares at me blankly as I gave him the puppy dog eyes. He starts to chuckle finally giving in to my pleading.

"I'll think about it okay?" he says with a bit of sarcasm, yeah I think i better give up with this.

--- 20 minuets later ---

We arrive at Octavius Labs. We walk into the massive daunting building and we are assigned groups with tour guides. Our tour guide, unfortunately, looked like he was alive before Captain America became a Capsicle.

I look left and right before pulling Milos arm and hiding us behind a pillar. I pull out a camera I had stole from the photography room on Friday after lesson.

"Hey I picked this up, thought we could sneak off to the spider enclosure and grab some shots, you promised to do me a spider tattoo, this can be your concept design" I smirk with begging eyes again. I have never liked field trips and will always find away to escape them. Why do you think I'm not aloud to drive to them anymore. He nods and I jump with glee and we sneak off the opposite way from our tour guide leaving the old man with the other students.

We make our way to the room and Milo opens the door for me and we stare up at the spider enclosure in awe. As Milo is taking pictures I walk around and see that these spiders aren't your typical looking spider. Not a spider you would ever see. In fact they don't look like any species known to man. Strange.

I let the thought slide as me and Milo get a selfie with the spiders. I see Milo in clear pain as he clenches his ribs.

"You need to get a new binder" I say with sympathy, he's been experiencing a lot of pain from it lately.

"Come on we should go, you still down to see my mam tomorrow? She misses you a lot". He laughs as we make our way back to the bus.

-- back at home --

I pull into the driveway of my house and see that my dad is home early, its a Monday which makes sense in a way as he normally gets home early to come to rugby practice with me, but this was earlier than normal. I walk through the front door and walk straight into the kitchen and find my mam ironing, she gives me a look and through that one look I know that he isn't in a good mood and is to be left alone. I act if everything is normal, most of my life could be considered an act, never letting my true self show to anyone. Well anyone but Milo, I know I can trust him with anything.

I head up in to my room and get ready to go to training.

-- Tuesday --

Today was just as normal however Milo does seem to be acting strange. Well he's always strange but I mean he was beyond strange today. For example today at lunch we got bored so I got the rugby ball out from the back of my car and he held it above my head without using his fingers, that is quite literally impossible. Even more impossible for a person who hasn't played rugby since they were 10.

I shrugged it off as beginners luck, but something is definitely up and he's not telling me about it. I will find out what he is keeping from me.

-- Tuesday afternoon --

I'm sitting up in my bedroom reading my newest book 'Practice makes perfect' by Sarah Adams whilst listening to Jonas Brothers. However this all gets interrupted by an incoming phone call. Milo.

"Hey y/n/n, I need one of your comic books" he says over the phone.

"Wait, OH MY GOD, have I converted you to the dark side?" I say with shock but enthusiasm as I have bee dying to get him to read one of them.

"Sure you have, do you still have that uh Spider girl thing?" he sighs when saying that, knowing for a fact I will now never shut up about this.

"I left it at yours because I knew you would want it someday, check under your old rugby uniform" I say while smiling so much it actually started to hurt.

"OMG, I love you so much, thank youuuu, you stupid nerd" he says as he hangs up the phone. I had a gut feeling that deep down that there was something behind the reason he was asking for the comic but I didn't want my overthinking to cloud the day where I finally got him interested into a comic book, even though it may of been for another reason.

As I am reading I see my phone light up with a message and see its my mam asking me to come downstairs. I comply to her request and go downstairs to see her and my dad not looking happy.

"what's up?" I ask.

"We have just heard from your school that you are FAILING more that half of your subjects" my dad starts to raise his voice.

Oh no this isn't going to end well.

I block out as much as I can but some words still manage to creep through.

"worthless"

"Fat"

"waste of space"

"Thick as pig shit"

-- 10 mins later --

I am upstairs in the bathroom balling my eyes out. Trying to calm myself down just before Milo arrives. Eyes are all red and puffy so I splash cold water over my face to help. Adding concealer underneath my eyes to hide the dark circles and then re-applying mascara. That's when I hear a knock on my bedroom door and then Milo walks through the door.

"Hello sunshine" he says with a smile, Ironic.

"Hello Goth boy" I say back with a smile across my face.

"I brought snacks and hair dye"

"do we have an exam tomorrow?" I ask which he returns with a nod

"Hair dye timeeeee"

it has became some sort of a ritual before an exam now that I dye my hair so if I fail at least I did it looking good. Which has been a lot lately.

--

Next thing I know my hair has been separated into 2. With the under of my hair being dyed pink. Out in the corner of my eye I see the bleach box and I pick it up looking straight at Milo.

"No please, not again" he says as he backs away from me. I open he box and the lid of the bleach and shrug

"well its open now we must use it" smiling as I put a blob onto his black hair.

"I hate you" he groans.

"I love you too" chuckling while applying more.

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Ahh so i just done all of this tonight, you can obviously see if u have read the web head series where they interlink.

I highly recommend reading @ladmarkinnit series as it gives u the perspective of milo over there but you are milo to if u get me over in that series the persons POV im writing here is called Tess.

Yeah if this confuses you just ignore it and go find out for yourself 😂

[boypussydilf]

I'm going to throw you a curve ball and say Sherly and that one guy whose name I don't remember who you ship him with (I think it's Soseki?)

idont know how to say this without unintentionally sounding mean but this is the second funniest ask ive ever gotten. (i was going to say funniest, but i cant lie even for comedic purposes- the funniest ask ive ever gotten was “shouldve KNOWN an AKESHU shipper would RIP MY THROAT OUT IN PUBLIC for mentioning shusumi”) i got curious and looked at all the relationship tags for dgs on ao3 until the site wouldnt let me anymore and i can almost conclusively say tht no one on this earth ships sherlock and souseki, which, to be honest, is kind of a surprise. on my journey i learned just how dire the state of the dgs ao3 relationship tags really are. i hadnt looked that hard, and i had thought, “oh, woe is me, only about 200 of these are homumiko” There are less than 30 with the susahao tag. theres like, a Small Handful of fics with kazuma interacting w iris or yuujin. This is. This is awful. Someone needs to fix this. What’s wrong with you people? You could have filled this website with one hundred Kazuma Asougi Gets Forcibly Absorbed Into The Greatest Family fics and you’re still asobaroing away? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Anyway it’s completely understandable to mix up souseki and mikotoba when you havent seen a ton of them they do both . have mustaches. thank you for thr ask and also for always calling him Sherly bc its cute here we go

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

*putsmy head in my hands* they have like 2 hours of screentime interacting its hard to describe a dynamic beyond “God they are so mean to each other”. its ok though. Its ok. the concept is very clear honestly. World’s Most Hyperactive and Completely Insane Man & Completely Normal Guy Who Goes Along With It. Oh My God They Were Roommates. lets see. serious notes. they trust each other completely and implicitly (mikotoba has to find a good home for The Baby He Was GOING To Raise But CAN’T and asks sherlock and he IMMEDIATELY agrees On The Spot my god ……) look . what do u call devotion if not saying “our home” about a place youve been away from longer than u ever lived at and thought youd never even see again & acting like you were never separated in the first place. Unreal. unreal.

anyway the fact of the matter is theyre literally just another variation on the Holmes & Watson concept go read an acd sherlock holmes story and imagine if they were ace attorney characters and idk i think youd more or less have it

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

*pulls out my giant conspiracy board and 90% of it is just screenshots of fanfic The Legendary Pair by Meowzy on AO3* IF YOU LOOK AT IT. THE NOT-REALLY-INDICATED-BY-CANON BUT MORE FUN AND COOL TO ME VERSION OF IT. it makes this A Necessary Relationship. sherlock is. smart in Some places. definitely observant. But has. 0 common sense. you would think hes never been to this planet before with his apparent complete lack of frame of reference for what is or is not plausible or likely. there is too much shit going on in his brain for him to figure out which ideas are Actually Likely without taking like 2 days to work it out. Give him someone who actually has common sense and can crossreference What Sherlock Has Actually Noticed And Figured Out with What Actual Human Beings Generally Would Do.

OHGOD MAYBE I CAN TRY TO ELABORATE IN A MORE SERIOUS TONE ON MY FUCKING “YUUJIN MIKOTOBA SILLY ARC” POST. GOD. what im attempting to drive at is thinking abt . the idea proposed of 16-years-ago sherlock being more of a prickly little bitch and, Much More Importantly, mikotoba going to britain to try and escape the Grief Of Losing His Wife & subsequent Depression That Made Him Unfit To Take Care Of His Baby . and then theyre . again, worlds most hyperactive and completely insane man, and, again, GUY WHO TAP DANCES DURINVG INVESTIGATIONS ?!!!!?!???????????

basically fuck you *gives you by chance a fundamentally life altering friendship right when you need it*

Anyway i dont think theyre that different in my head than in canon but its hard to say.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

i like it because i think they are neat. i like it bc i love families and fuck dude they sure do have one. i like it bc i am a dgs sherlock holmes kinnie and this drives my behavior,

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*SCREAMS* BESTIES. anyway,

sorry for once again saying serious concepts in the dumbest fucking ways possible but Pov u are yuujin mikotoba age 26 leaving ur home to try and run away from the deepest pain of ur life & deciding not to stick with ur very close friends uve known for quite a while as you do so? For some reason? AND IT WORKS ???????????? in some part bc of this weirdo freak u moved in with impulsively who keeps almost blowing the fucking house up?

This is basically something i already said in this post earlier and i STILL . cant think of an actual good way to say it. I guess just . as many people on this blog may have noticed. me wh. me when stories involve the way positive connections with others help people <3

Also basically the only 2 reactions sherlock seems to invoke in people are “this guys insufferable” and “this guys insufferable but i also admire him” - god the trajectory of this train of thought just changed drastically im laughing so hard Bear with me . mikotoba is of course in th second camp bc thats where all sherlocks Positive relationships are. this is known to us. see: thr dialogue where hes like “Well your methods are unusual but ive always been willing to try them :)” (and then sherlock yells at him for being stupid.) anyway thats wonderful and its also Wonderful. mikotoba shortly after meeting sherlock watching this man rip up a handful of grass an d just eat it and then solve an entire mystery and mikotoba has to work out if this guys a genius or insane. He quickly realizes it is both. Anyway i guess to yuujin mikotoba sherlock holmes is his dear friend and partner & also the guy who cursed him to occasionally think “i DO wonder what that grass tastes like” at inopportune times

I don’t know WHAT the fuck i just rambled about for like ten minutes. So anyhow. sherlock describes mikotoba as “the only person i could truly call a friend” so shoutout to this friendless man i guess . no but literally hes a little weirdo freak and people dont tend to. like him. societal perceptions of ND people are not conducive to sherlock holmes having close friends . (Also he might not be. or might at some point not have been. particularly social in the first place - But this is my extrapolation based on acd canon and nothing in dgs at all so it cant be counted as anything other than my female hysteria.) and like. epic win for him finding someone who can Tolerate Him Enough To Live With Him and not just that but like . Actually Likes Him. Actually Likes Being Around Him And Would Like To Be His Friend. Congrats! also a win 4 him having like, a normal human being around. who can keep track of him and yknow. Help him remember important things. make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of spending 42 hours straight trying to make The Sequel To Toasters (It’s Also A Juicer!)

favorite interaction they have in canon

oh,my god you know the thing is theres not a Lot of them but what there is is Really Good Actually.

on one hand we have the shit from the legendary pair scene like “:/ only JAPANESE mice go Chu. make a RUSSIAN mouse noise” or “YOUR BIRTHDAY? THATS FUNNY BC AS OF TODAY YOURE DEAD TO ME :D” “measured as always.” On the other hand we have the part from the scene after the last trial where sherlock thanks mikotoba for leaving iris in his care.

Basically i dont know how to decide. im going to say the Other part of the scene after the last trial where sherlock is excitedly telling mikotoba a story about something he did. With mikotoba. like a day before. and mikotoba lets him get through thr whole fucking thing before going Yeah i was. i was there.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

OH GOD I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. what is there to say beyond the Default List Of Every Homumiko Fans Shared Interests. its all been done. “Remember That Time They Raised A Baby Together For A Month”; “Have You Heard Of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Great Here’s My Adaptation-“; “Put That Beast (Sherlock) In Japan LOL”. i will say that like. i dont remember where but theres some tiny bit of optional dialogue where iris says that sherlock playing the violin was a detail she wrote into the stories for fun and then after that he felt obligated to actually learn. i think a lot of people dont know this or dont use this. which is fine its a tiny random one off line i wouldnt even be able to track down. and a lot of people have the order of events go sherlock has violin -> mikotoba learns to tap dance, Look another musical thing matchy matchy :) . which again is FINE. BUT. isnt the other order of events - the order that it’s only reasonable to assume is canon - more fun ? Sherlock goes HEY GUESS WHAT I LEARNED VIOLIN NOW WE CAN MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER. He has not seen mikotoba in person in 9 years

thats the end of the post thank you i like the dads

[kariachi]

Some fic I started last night! Kevin, Ben hanging out shortly into Kevin’s retirement.

~~

The last thing Kevin remembered was forcing his way through a book, then the next thing he knew he was waking up to Ben sat on his legs and one of the fucking Sumo Slammers tv shows on his television.

“The fuck, man?”

“Oh, so you are alive.”

“Unfortunately, get that shit off my screen.”

“And you call yourself a Sumo Slammers fan.”

“The games are good, the movies are good, the shows suck ass.”

“And you’ve eaten enough of it to recognize the signs?”

“Damn right, shut it off.” Blowing a raspberry his way, Ben did as asked, tossing the remote onto the coffeetable.

“Enjoy your nap?”

“It was sleep,” Kevin said, sitting up with a stretch and beginning the search for his book. It was quickly located, sat on the coffeetable with a bookmark in place. “Thanks, Benji.” If he’d been tired enough to conk out he sure as fuck hadn’t done that himself.

“No problem, man.” Stretching as well, with a yawn, Ben flopped back against the couch. “Figured I’d stop by, see if the quiet had driven you completely batshit yet.”

“Not yet.” Snorting a laugh, Kevin draped an arm over the back of the couch and relaxed against it. “Pretty nice, actually. Don’t have the looming worry I’ll have to drop whatever I’m doing at a critical moment for an emergency, have only reopened a wound once, and there’ve been no ‘falling asleep behind the wheel’ incidents.”

“It was only the two times,” Ben teased, and got his arm swatted for the trouble.

“Having to pull over so you fuckers could drive once would’ve been more than enough, thanks.”

“I am glad to hear you aren’t driving that tired anymore though,” Ben continued. “We were all a lot more worried about that than having to drive ourselves.” Huffing, Kevin rolled his eyes.

“There’s easier ways to die,” he said, ignoring the look Ben gave him. “Besides, I only did it in the first place because we kept having shit that needed doing. Somebody calls and says a town’s gonna get wiped off the map if you can’t handle shit within two hours, the fact you haven’t slept in two days doesn’t really enter into things.” With a small cringe, Ben nodded.

“Yeah, sorry about that. If we’d known just how bad your shit can be-”

“Nothing woulda changed. I’d have gotten the same million solutions I’d already tried before shoved at me, and the same nagging about ‘did you sleep last night’ after being called out to give you fuckers a ride.” Kevin knew that for a fact, after dealing with them so long. It’d taken them ages to work past the idea that they had all the answers, even after being repeatedly proven wrong, and they still tended to forget to consider other people’s ends of things in their plans. “Coming to terms with it, like you bastards anyway.”

Properly coming to terms with it too, not just forgiving them out of hand because he was a busted mess whose brain had been fucked with one too many times. His relationships with the Tennysons were a whole subsection of his therapy, and included a whole mini-file titled ‘Good People Can Still Be Assholes’. It referenced back to a larger file titled ‘People Mistreating Me is Not My Fault’, and both referenced to a book on setting boundaries his shrink had gotten him. Both also included papers he’d repeatedly written these and surrounding concepts on, in an attempt to lodge them into his broken brain.

“Thank fuck, I’d hate to see if you decided you didn’t like us anymore.” He flashed Ben a grin that was easily returned.

“Yeah, you guys’d never see my ass again.”

“Not even at Argit’s?”

“Most of that bastard’s murders were for me, you think he won’t abandon a business and political career if I ask?” He wouldn’t even have to ask, he’d just have to say he was skipping out and Argit’d immediately be whining about having to pack on no notice. Ben chuckled, shaking his head with a soft fondness to his expression.

“Glad to hear you’re doing good,” he said. “We’ve been half expecting you to go stir crazy and have no idea what it would do to you.”

“Benji,” Kevin snorted, “I’m not used to getting to just chill enough to go stir crazy yet. Even if I was, trust me I’ve got enough projects that have been building in my head to keep myself plenty busy.”

“If you say so.”

“Worst comes to worst, I’ll think of something to keep myself out of trouble.” Chuckling, Ben nodded.

“Hey,” he said, “did you have any plans for this afternoon? Because I’ve got nothing.”

“Not really-” Kevin had wanted to get through that book, but well. And he didn’t have shit to read that Ben would be into. “-make it a gaming day?” Generally a good option, and true to form Ben lit up at the idea.

“Sounds good to me,” he said, lifting himself up enough Kevin could pull his legs free without sending him toppling. “Host’s choice first.” The smile Kevin flashed him as he stood was full of teeth.

“Gran Turismo it is then.” Ben’s responding groan was half-hearted at best.

“Okay, but it’s Sumo World League after or I’m going the fuck home-”

[yourflowersfirst]

day 1,431

okay, i'm gonna speak to you very candidly. i hope that's okay. i think conversation type writing is fun, and i'm in the mood for it. imagine this just two guys, getting dinner, chatting. well. i'm talking at you; you're half listening, half noticing the hot bartender in the corner, not noticing me so much. you steal a few of my fries. whatever. i'll take what i can get.

i've been a little sick all week. good enough to still do my assignments and go for runs and work, you know, manageable. today though, i woke up with a throat so agonizingly painful i could hardly swallow water (let alone those big ass dayquil pills). (but seriously, why are they so huge? it's hell for a sore throat.) something something big thing in my throat, there's a funny joke to be made there if you want. i don't care.

maybe i should stop going for runs when i'm feeling even a little sick. they probably don't help me, and my immune system is already ass as it stands. just to brag a bit though, i ran 6.5 miles earlier this week. i got my hair done the other day, but i've felt too sick to even wash it. do you know how heavenly washing your extensions is? i cum a little just thinking about the concept. but i can't, because i had to be a stupid fuck who got herself sick. washing all of my hair is not only a 2-3 hour long process, but wet hair like that makes illnesses worse for me. yeouch.

i'm sick of things, too. myself, mostly. i'm sick of feeling rotten and not good enough for anyone, anything, any man. my grades are still okay despite me being so bleh i can hardly focus on anything. it'll be a miracle if this post even makes sense. anyway, point is, no amount of male attention could fill the hatred i have for myself in my heart. i'm sick of that. if you know how to fix this carnal need i have to please everyone and give away all i am for someone else, hit me up. tell me what to do.

yesterday after my run (that definitely made my illness worse), i went to get chipotle, as i do. i'm addicted, seriously. as i was walking to the building, a guy driving past me in the parking lot and shouted "BALLS!" at me after rolling his window down. i shit myself laughing. much better than some male attention i've gotten, as you well know if you've read my other posts on this pretentious little blog.

i go back to ohio 8 days from now. if i still feel like garbage even then, i'm rioting, and then donating my organs to science. shit. my lips are chapped because drinking water, as i said, it really fucking hurts. it's 105 ish degrees here every day now, and i can't keep myself hydrated. i don't genuinely pray to god much anymore but i have been all day, reciting mantras to heal my body, mind, and soul.

i'm gonna get my period any day now too. just icing on top of the cake. here's how i know: the other day, before my sickness worsened, i went to hang with vincent (ex roommate) at his new place. i brought fuji so she and lupita could play; i also brought cane's for us to enjoy. jesus. cane's and chipotle in one post, no wonder i'm huge.

so, i went to hang with the fella. he put on dawn of the planet of the apes. i'd never seen any of those movies and there's a new one in theaters right now, so i figured, why the hell not? it'll be a silly time. the movie was shockingly serious. i was invested. (spoilers) when caesar got shot, i yelled, "no!"

"i know, very sad," vincent said while stuffing his face with crinkle cut fries.

i felt my eyes welling with tears. "he was a good leader, how could koba do that?"

"whoa, dude, are you good?"

"he's just... such a good dad... but he was shot! it isn't fair! he just wanted peace with the humans!"

vincent patted my shoulder, confused. "there, there."

i swatted him away, tears falling. i wiped them with a greasy hand. "don't make fun of me! it's so sad. oh god. i need napkins."

my hormones love to go batshit crazy the few days leading up to my period, rattling around my endocrine system like ping pong balls. today i was crying because i just hate being sick so much. go figure. i need to stock up on sanitary napkins (hardy har) and get my heated pad ready.

when i was on birth control, my PMS was manageable. i'd never get upset, never cried over stupid shit like dawn of the planet of the apes. now look at me. 2022 me would be horrified. in the end, though, i prefer this to the nasty side effects of tri-sprintec.

why am i rambling about my hormones and my period? sorry. i'm truly sorry. i just find it amusing in a certain light. i've been listening to "somebody else" by the 1975 a hell of a lot, and it's got me all nostalgic and weepy. really reiterates the fact that i'm a tiny bit unlovable, but hey, fuck that. get money.

i try not to dwell on "situationships" too much, but i can't help it. hot, late summer nights are the perfect time to wallow in your own self pity. i'd smoke a cigarette but i don't wanna make my throat worse. i say that, but cigarettes cause throat cancer. my priorities are truly in order, my friend.

i'm gonna try to go to bed and sleep this shit off. it feels like strep or a sinus infection. don't worry, i'm gonna see a doctor tomorrow, even though i'm cheap and hate paying people to tell me what's wrong with me. ironically enough, this is also why i can't keep a therapist, minus the one i had in high school for my eating disorder. i saw her a bunch last summer, which was cool, except i was seeing her for **** trauma and PTSD so bad i'd have panic attacks every day. good times. i've come a long way in a year. i can't really trust any other therapist except her. why, oh why, must she only do in person sessions in ohio?!

okay, i don't know how to end this one. i'll just share a poem i like, hehehehe. i'm biased toward it, because i'm a redhead, but hopefully you like it too.

"Ash, ash—

You poke and stir.

Flesh, bone, there is nothing there——

A cake of soap,   

A wedding ring,   

A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer   

Beware

Beware.

Out of the ash

I rise with my red hair   

And I eat men like air."

-Lady Lazarus, by Sylvia Plath

[astaroth1357]

How the Brothers Would Try to Get the MC Back After a Breakup

I have a much longer one in the works, but dug this out of my old drafts and just had to polish it off real quick. Not sure why I never finished it. 🤷‍♀️

Lucifer

His first tactic is to try and make them try to get back with him.

That means he’s going to go out and slay it! He’s going to make sure he’s looking great and really making a point of just how much he can do and how capable he is in literally Every. Way. If they’re watching, he’s going to be amazing. Period.

Buuut he’ll be sure to treat them super coldly throughout... This isn’t him trying to nicely ask them to come back to him, oh no, this is just making a point about how much they threw away, stupid human...!

If this doesn’t send them crawling back then he’s really in a bad place… He really needs them to come back on their own because his pride won't let him…

If he ever has to ask, it will feel more like a business deal than a reconciliation but that means he’s desperate. Hear him out at least.

Mammon

He’s going to be an absolute nightmare...

I think we all know that Mammon would fall apart without MC and it really wouldn't be a graceful fall…

Man will go through all the stages of grief seemingly every hour, everywhere from "WELL I DON'T NEED YA ANYWAY!" to, "Baby I'll buy ya anything, please come back…!"

The worst of it comes out when he's drunk and it's also when his worst ideas sound fantastic!

Not above breaking into their room at night just to sing them a poorly-written, sappy love song.

Also not above begging his brothers, Simeon, and even Diavolo for ideas on how to win them back.

If he could put it on one of those airplane banners and fly it across the Devildom, he would. Please MC, he's trying here…

Leviathan

Pity. Pity. So much pity. He is not afraid to treat his own dignity like collateral damage if he has to.

In the weeks after the breakup, Levi would probably be best described as one of those gelatinous deep sea Blobfish thrown on dry land, just with 90% more sadness and wallowing.

Assuming he leaves his room at all, he'll look like complete trash who hasn’t slept in weeks. Just an ultra-depressed otaku covered in Dorito dust and self-pity…

Basically, everything about him is going to scream, "I'M MISERABLE WITHOUT YOU, PLEASE COME COMFORT ME!!!" and considering that may have initiated their relationship to start with, it's not a terrible tactic.

If turning into a pathetic beached jellyfish of despair doesn't work then he'll try begging too. Third brother or not, dignity was never a priority here. Just MC… Always MC.

Satan

Meet our resident drunk texter.

During the day, Satan is going to take more of a Lucifer route and just be as impressive as he possibly can. However, he doesn't quite have Lucifer's level of deep emotional repression through pure spite…

What that means is occasionally he's going to crack and it's rough.

Get a few drinks in him and Satan will just break into a sobbing mess… Any poor soul in the vicinity will have to listen to his incoherent babbling about how many dates he's had with MC, how much he loves them, and why he can't sleep without them anymore…

But the texts… Man, are they something…

Satan: MC yourr the sptinkles to my waffls

Satan: why did you leave me? 🥺

Satan: im in the bat, its really cold  here

Satan: pleaae come home 😭😭😭

Satan: I'd murder fr yo

Satan: i mean love you

Satan: come back please

Asmodeus

Jealousy. Pure, simple jealousy. You think he can’t have three other people on his arms by the end of the week? Don't you know what you’re missing??

If Mammon is going through grief stages, then Asmo is stuck on anger. To think that he, HE, would be broken up with!! The nerve!!!

He'll go out clubbing and fucking and make a big'ol deal out of it for at least a week, but if it doesn't really help his case then he's really screwed… (like, figuratively this time)

After his anger burns out there'll be A LOT of crying and Asmo will make it his mission to get together again!!

That could involve everything from long-winded apology speeches, to dragging Solomon into complicated "Let's date again!" schemes, to dangling himself in front of MC like a carrot on a stick to try and entice them back.

EVERYONE in the House is going to hear about it and it'll drive them all crazy, but hey, anything in the name of love, damnit!!

Beelzebub

Lots of gifts, mostly food.

You'd think he'd be leaving offerings to a pagan god with the amount of food he tries to give MC… The man could actually feed a village with those plates!

To be frank, Beel doesn’t even have to do all that much in the grand scheme of things. A sad Beel is like a sad puppy, it just tugs at the heartstrings by its pure existence!

It also helps that he'd be willing to just… talk about getting back together like emotionally mature adults (novel concept, I know)

If they talk it out and the MC still isn't interested then expect more food and more sad Beel... He'll pretty much be like a depressed Santa Claus with a bag of T-bone steaks.

Be careful how long you keep Beel sad for though, MC, because Belphie isn't afraid to murder you twice. He's keeping a knife in that pillow. Be warned.

Belphegor

He's too busy not caring to even try.

Seriously. He doesn't care. Really. Not at all. Not even a little. Were they even dating? He didn't notice!

In fact, he doesn't care so much that he's going to nap in all of their favorite places, rewatch all of their favorite movies, and listen to their favorite songs because he just doesn't give a shit.

He doesn't care so much that he'll totally still invite them out to festivals and theme parks because it doesn't matter and they can still have a lot of fun together anyway!

He doesn't care SO FREAKING MUCH that if they wanted to nap together again or even cuddle a bit it's totally fine because it doesn't mean anything and he's fine and they're fine and this is fine!! Everything is a'okay!!!

See? No complaints outta him. But if they wanted to get back together uh… that's fine too… please...

[r3dmare]

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙨 // 𝙟.𝙨𝙪𝙝 . 𝙋𝙏 𝙊𝙉𝙀- 𝙃𝙤𝙩 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨

-> 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗏𝗂𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 (𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽: 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁) 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗂𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗍... 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍?

-> 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝗌𝗎𝗁 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 , 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗈𝗋!𝖺𝗎 , 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 𝟨.𝟤𝗄

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍, 𝖻𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗉𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼𝘀, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, ���𝗰𝗱, 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒/𝗇 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗈𝗅𝖾𝗌.

-> 𝖺 𝖧𝖴𝖦𝖤 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝖻 𝗇𝗂𝗄𝗄𝗂 ( @sehunniepot ) 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾 𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍, 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍. 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗍 ❥

-> 𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 (𝗁𝗆𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇!) : @sehunniepot @pimpnameyannie

Johnny Suh Teases Y/N L/N While Eating Spicy Wings

SEAN: Hey, what’s going on everybody? For ‘First We Feast’, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones!

the camera angles shifts from sean to a shot of the table. he is sitting across johnny and y/n, who are smiling at each other while sean introduces the video. they quickly break their gaze and look at sean.

SEAN: It’s the show with hot questions, and even hotter wings.

the camera pans directly to johnny and y/n.

Y/N: *whispering, excited* He said the thing, oh my gosh.

SEAN: Today we are joined by Johnny Suh and Y/N L/N!

the video cuts to photos of johnny.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: He rose to fame through his YouTube channel and his acting career took off through a number of indie films. Since then, he has been the face of several Hollywood blockbusters.

the video cuts to photos of y/n.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: She’s an Emmy award winning actress well-known for a number of TV roles—most notably for her starring role in the HBO series, ‘Obsession.’

the video cuts to photos of them both.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Their latest work is the critically acclaimed film, ‘Day Dream,’ currently in theatres.

the video cuts to the camera pointed at johnny and y/n.

SEAN: Y/N L/N, Johnny Suh, welcome to the show.

Y/N: Thank you for having us.

JOHNNY: Thank you, we’re happy to be here!

the camera shifts to a shot of the table. johnny sits on the outside, but y/n’s chair is pulled very close to his. their arms are practically overlapped.

SEAN: I’m excited, viewers are excited—we’ve had so many requests to have you two on the show.

y/n beams, excitedly gesturing between herself and the table with her hands. johnny stares at her, smiling.

Y/N: It’s literally a dream come true—I love this show, I’ve seen all the episodes—I feel like this is the true mark of success.

JOHNNY: She’s been talking about this nonstop since we found out we’d be on.

y/n swats his arm.

SEAN: It’s okay—we’re all stoked to have you here! But the question is: can you two handle the spice?

JOHNNY: I’m pretty confident about it.

Y/N: That isn’t saying much, you’re confident about everything…

JOHNNY: She actually really loves spicy food. She can handle it.

Y/N: I do love it…but I’m not trying to fuck it up by saying I’m good at managing it, though.

SEAN: Well, I have a feeling you two will do great.

it cuts to the intro—shots of the hot sauce bottles, as well as the logo for the show.

the camera is back on y/n and johnny.

JOHNNY: Ready?

Y/N: Always.

the two tap their wings together, as if clinking glasses, and take bites.

the hot sauce and its spice level is shown.

JOHNNY: Shit, these are really good. Nice flavor.

Y/N: Can I eat the whole thing? I’m hungry.

SEAN: Yeah, of course.

johnny laughs at y/n proceeding to dig into the wing.

SEAN: So, you two are very successful at a young age. Johnny, you’ve been vlogging for years, and Y/N, you got your start with small roles in TV shows, and now have an Emmy. Are you surprised about how quickly you achieved so much in the span of a few years?

johnny nods at y/n, letting her go first, smiling fondly at her and watching. the camera pans to y/n.

Y/N: Y’know… yeah. *laughs* I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t absolutely insane and overwhelming. I went from a few lines in shows to starting an HBO series? With a fucking Emmy? I never expected to get that role or any of this and I’m still confused about it. Acting… all this, it’s my life. It’s what I’ve wanted since I was a kid, and I’m so, so grateful for how far I’ve come. *laughs* I don’t know how anyone let me get here, though.

JOHNNY: *exasperated* Oh, c’mon, Y/N. You’re a star.

SEAN: It’s definitely well deserved. Johnny?

the camera settles on johnny, who pulls his gaze away from y/n to look at sean. y/n keeps her eyes on johnny, a soft expression on her face.

JOHNNY: I started out just as a kid with a camera. I grew up wanting to act, wanting to sing, and being very into photography and visuals. My channel started out as me just talking or doing stuff with my friends and it grew bigger than I could’ve imagined. I’m beyond lucky for how far I’ve come—and to get to direct and produce a lot of my projects is great.

SEAN: Speaking of, my next question for you is actually about your experience in the production of films. How does directing and producing have an affect on you now as an actor? Even for projects like ‘Day Dream,’ where you aren’t taking a role in production.

johnny runs a hand through his hair, nodding.

JOHNNY: *pauses then laughs* Shit, did I get sauce in my hair? I hope I didn’t.

y/n leans closer to him, and he lowers his head to her level. she runs his fingers through his hair, and shakes her head.

Y/N: Nah, you’re good.

SEAN: Just be careful around the eyes!

Y/N: *fangirling* AH, I knew you were going to say that—fuck, sorry… big fan.

SEAN: *laughing* You’ve seen a bit, then?

Y/N: Totally. Oh, sorry Johnny—interrupted.

JOHNNY: Don’t you always?

johnny laughs, and y/n pouts in response.

JOHNNY: Just messing around, don’t worry. But, yeah, I actually like this question a lot. Honestly, it gives a whole other dimension to the experience. I think that we—as actors—always invest love and care into our work because we want it to be the best it can be. We all come in wanting to do well for not only ourselves but for production. Like, we already know how big of a job it is for them, how hard it is but when you’ve been there, it’s different. You start to look at things you wouldn’t notice before and it’s almost like you’re hyper-aware of many more facets of shooting than you normally would think about—and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

Y/N: *musing* No, it’s not.

JOHNNY: It gives you more drive.

SEAN: Totally. And I’ve seen your work— you’ve pulled off so many different roles, but I think how you executed the filmmaking was even more impressive.

JOHNNY: *grinning* Thanks, man. That means a lot.

the next sauce is shown, as well as it’s scoville level.

the camera cuts back to them, biting into the wings.

Y/N: I don’t taste much of a difference in the sauce…is my palate broken?

JOHNNY: Wouldn’t be surprised… weirdo.

Y/N: Oh, fuck off.

SEAN: It creeps up on you, but then it piles on all at once.

Y/N: Are you even fazed by it anymore, Sean?

SEAN: You’d think I’m more used to the hotter ones, but it still gets me sometimes.

Y/N: It doesn’t show.

johnny looks over at y/n’s wing and scoffs, jokingly.

JOHNNY: Damn, Y/N, at least clean the bone better.

Y/N: *frowning* I don’t wanna mess up my makeup.

SEAN: So, Y/N, this is your first movie. How does the filming differ from TV—is it any harder or easier? Do you have a preference and how have you felt through the process?

Y/N: It’s not that different—for me, anyway, I don’t know what others might say. I was so stoked to get this, especially because the concept for the film is pretty different to most of the romcoms I’ve seen in the past. Not as cheesy—it feels like a real romance. In fact, it felt—well, not easier, because, like, with ‘Obsession’ I’m so comfortable with my role and my cast but it was kind of the same here. Being with Johnny was great because I’ve known him for so long and it felt natural to be working with him.

johnny is, yet again, staring and smiling at her. you can almost see the hearts in his eyes.

SEAN: Johnny, did you feel similarly?

JOHNNY: *snapping out of it to look at sean* Of course. Y/N’s been in my life for what seems like forever and I was even more excited about taking the role when I found out she’d be doing it with me. She said it best—it was natural.

the next sauce is shown.

they all bite into the wings.

SEAN: How we feelin’?

Y/N: This one’s got a ‘lil kick to it, but it’s still pretty mild. I love this flavor.

JOHNNY: Yeah, this one’s my favorite so far, flavor-wise.

SEAN: We have some for you guys to take home, don’t worry.

Y/N: Oh, you’re the best.

SEAN: Kind of going off where we were, the internet is raving about your chemistry.

the two laugh, y/n looking slightly shy.

SEAN: You mentioned it was easy to star together, given your friendship. Was there anything, though, that was particularly hard?

unseen on the camera, johnny rests his hand on y/n’s thigh under the table, in a casual manner. she stiffens slightly, then relaxes as he speaks.

JOHNNY: For this project, I mean, Y/N was perfect. She executed the role of Audrey beautifully and when you have someone who just knows exactly how to play their part, it makes shooting feel more immersive and intimate. She’s just perfect.

Y/N: *beaming* I feel the same about you—you played Chris flawlessly.

johnny thanks her, and rubs circles onto her thigh with his thumb.

Y/N: For my first film, I’m beyond happy I got to do it with him. He’s been in my life for years, like, we met when we were twenty, and I just felt… everything was, like, comfortable, and easy, and safe. Gotta be real, though, the sex scenes were weird.

SEAN: *laughing* Oh?

JOHNNY: *bewildered* Are we going there?

Y/N: *shrugs* I mean… is that okay? Can I not say that?

SEAN: No, you can. We don’t bleep cussing on here, so I think it’s fine.

Y/N: I won’t share all the gory details.

JOHNNY: I don’t mind.

johnny is smirking, and looking intently at y/n. she tries not to falter under his gaze.

Y/N: *laughs* It was just kind of bizarre to see him like that? I mean, it’s my job, it wasn’t a big deal, I kept my professionalism, but was it strange? Absolutely.

y/n laughs nervously.

JOHNNY: I didn’t think it was that weird.

Y/N: *sarcastic* Yeah, okay. For real, though, it was my first sex scene, I was nervous, and he made me feel protected and comfortable… *quietly, cutely* Thank you for that.

JOHNNY: *fondly* You’re welcome. Yeah, I’m messing around, it was a little odd…but my goal was to make her comfortable. Our crew is great, of course, but it’s notoriously harder for women in the industry than it is for men. I care about her, I just want her to be okay.

SEAN: It really is. I’m glad you two were comfortable during all that.

y/n is looking down, biting her lip as she smiles.

the next sauce shows up on screen.

the camera shows the table as they all take a bite.

Y/N: Ooh.

johnny and sean laugh.

SEAN: Is this one harder?

JOHNNY: It’s a bit hotter.

Y/N: Nothing unmanageable, though. It’s kind of… fruity?

SEAN: It has mango in it.

JOHNNY: I think it really adds to it, it’s nice.

SEAN: So, something I wanna ask you two is about music. Johnny, I know you’re a great singer, and have been interested in music for a long time, being in musicals. And Y/N, you’ve contributed songs to the ‘Obsession’ soundtrack— you’re very musically talented as well. Tell me—do either of you have any musical plans for the future? And who has inspired you, musically?

JOHNNY: *laughing* Thanks, man, I appreciate that. Uh, honestly, I grew up listening to such a wide range of music. I definitely have plans to create my own music down the line… but I can’t really say when. I’m focused on acting right now, y’know? But it’ll be sooner than you think. As far as musical influences… God, it’s all over the place.

Y/N: You love Coldplay.

JOHNNY: Yeah, they’re my favorite artist. I like so many genres… *absentminded* Y/N showed me a lot of stuff, too.

y/n grins, patting johnny’s hand.

Y/N: Yeah! We would just share airpods between takes and listen to music… It was nice.

SEAN: I heard you two also fell asleep a lot on set.

they both laugh hard.

Y/N: We did—it was like a running joke. Jaehyun and Yerim—they were also in the film—always took pictures and teased us.

johnny laughs again.

Y/N: Oh! Yeah, to answer your question… to be honest, I was surprised that they asked me to do a song. I knew Kyungsoo would be—I mean, everyone’s heard his voice. He’s a god, he’s good at fuckin’ everything. But I think he, Jongin and Sehun tattled on me to the execs, because they heard me singing in my trailer. I work with such assholes. *laughs* I’m joking… but, yeah! It was pretty cool… I didn’t even know I was capable of sounding that good. I don’t wanna sound like I’m bragging—I was just surprised when I heard the track. And people liked it! I would definitely consider—

johnny is staring intently at y/n, who has sauce on the corner of her mouth. while she’s speaking, he reaches out to grab her chin with one hand and uses the thumb on his other hand to wipe the sauce. sean feels as if he’s interrupting a private moment, and y/n falters, cutting off.

Y/N: *speaking to johnny as if the two are in their own little word* -did I have sauce?

johnny licks the thumb with the sauce on it, casually, nodding.

JOHNNY: Yeah, just a little.

SEAN: *laughing* Do you like this one that much?

JOHNNY: *smiling, speaking lowly* Yeah it has… a nice flavor. *his demeanor changes quickly, smoothly, his tone becoming light-hearted* It’ll probably get worse from here though, right?

y/n is internally malfunctioning, but masks it. it worsens when he places his hand back secretly on her thigh. her heart is hammering in her chest and she resists the urge to aggressively bounce her leg. she’s SO into him, and he’s fueling the flame. unbeknownst to her, he is definitely flirting.

SEAN: Most definitely.

the fifth sauce pops up, as well as the scoville level.

they all take bites, and y/n smiles.

Y/N: Yeahhh, y’know, this one is… hot.

SEAN: Are you doing okay?

Y/N: Oh, hell yeah. It’s good. All of these have such great flavors—I’m excited to take the sauces home.

JOHNNY: I know she’s gonna cook something with it as soon as she gets home.

SEAN: You’ll have to send me what you do. You like to cook?

JOHNNY: *quickly, beating y/n to answering* Dude, she’s an amazing cook.

Y/N: *embarassed* I’m okay… I really love to cook though. *laughing* Wife me up.

johnny smiles slightly at that.

Y/N: One of our friends, he’s a rapper, Mark Lee?

SEAN: Yeah! He’s great, I’ve met him.

JOHNNY: I love that kid.

Y/N: Yeah, I’m pissed at him. He was noticed by Gordon Ramsey.

johnny is cracking up, and sean smiles.

SEAN: I think I heard about that.

Y/N: Yeah, a fan tweeted a picture of Mark’s shitty scrambled eggs at him, saying it was her boyfriend. And he fucking told her to break up with him. *laughing hard* I mean, I’m just jealous, because I love Gordon Ramsey and would love to be noticed by him.

SEAN: Gordon, if you’re watching this, Y/N is dying to meet you.

y/n shakes her head, shy.

JOHNNY: She’s too much of a shy little wimp for that.

Y/N: Is today shit on Y/N day? Goddamn…

SEAN: So, we have a segment on the show we like to call ‘Explain That Gram’. Basically, we just take pictures from your Instagram that need more context.

Y/N: I love this.

a staff member brings a laptop to sean.

SEAN: We’ll start with Johnny?

JOHNNY: Bring it.

the screen shows a photo from johnny’s instagram. y/n and johnny can be heard laughing their asses off at the picture shown.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: So, this is you and Ten Lee, the dancer and model, who you’re close friends with. Can you explain *laughs* what’s going on here?

the screen goes back to the camera pointed at johnny. he’s laughing with his head in his hands and y/n is suppressing her laughter.

JOHNNY: *clearing his throat and composing himself* Yeah, so that’s Ten. *he laughs more*

Y/N: God, I love Ten. I miss him.

JOHNNY: Yeah, he’s great. One of my very best friends. So basically, I was visiting him at his home in Thailand. He was supposed to come to Chicago, actually, but his schedule got packed at the last moment. But I had an idea to take photos in front of a greenscreen, wear ‘I Love Chicago’ shirts, and put images of city landmarks behind us.

Y/N: That doesn’t look like Chicago, John.

JOHNNY: Well, that one’s a wave. That one was just funny.

a photo of from y/n’s instagram is shown on screen. once again, they all burst out laughing.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Here you are, wearing a dinosaur head. Could you give the context?

the camera is on y/n.

Y/N: *smiling* God, my face hurts… fuck, you know how to pick them, huh?

SEAN: That’s the game!

Y/N: Uh, well, Johnny actually took this photo.

JOHNNY: *grinning* Yup.

Y/N: You see, what happened was… we were in Walmart with our friend Seulgi, and I found a dinosaur head. And because I’m a literal child, I thought it would be hilarious to pretend to be a dinosaur and chase them around. It was an action shot.

another photo pops up on screen, again from y/n’s instagram.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Here you two are getting on a plane. Can I ask what you’re doing here, Johnny?

the camera pans to johnny, who is grinning.

JOHNNY: We were actually boarding the plane to go visit my parents in Chicago. It was a few days after we wrapped up filming—

Y/N: —I have to interject before he lies about what was really happening. Here is concrete proof that Johnny bullies me. Little shit.

JOHNNY: *staring into the camera* I was not bullying her. She was already making us late, and I was trying to board the plane, not pose for selfies.

Y/N: … Honestly, all I heard was you saying you were bullying me.

SEAN: *laughing* You were running late, Y/N?

JOHNNY: She’s always running late.

Y/N: Well— *hesitates* unfortunately, I can’t dispute that.

both johnny and sean laugh, as does the crew behind the cameras.

JOHNNY: That’s why she has me. I keep her on time.

Y/N: I don’t know why I keep you—pain in my ass. *she smiles, despite herself*

JOHNNY: We keep getting sidetracked. *laughs* But, yeah, we were going to stay with my parents for a week in Chicago. It was really great.

SEAN: You’re from Chicago, originally, right?

JOHNNY: Yup! Born and raised. I spent some summers in Korea, and I’ve always had a connection there—it’s where my parents grew up, it’s where they met, where my family is—but Chicago is always gonna be my true home.

Y/N: Honestly, it’s great there. I always have the time of my life when I visit—especially because Mr. and Mrs. Suh are amazing. I love them to death, and I’m always so grateful for how welcoming and loving they are.

they move on to the sixth sauce.

Y/N: So, this one is making my lips tingle. Not bad, though.

JOHNNY: Ooh, yeah, that’s a little bit hotter. ‘S good.

SEAN: So, let’s talk about ‘Day Dream’. The film, as well as your characters, Audrey and Chris, and their journey through love, mental illness, and success has been captivating audiences worldwide. What drew you two to the film? Did you feel connected to your characters, and were there any parts of the film that were particularly hard to film?

Y/N: You first.

JOHNNY: As soon as my manager explained the premise and Chris’ character, I was hooked. Of course, I didn’t understand the complexity and intensity of our characters yet—but something was instantly so interesting and captivating. *he pauses* Chris was challenging for me—in a good way, of course. We have this guy who has so much going for him—but so much more holding him back. He’s really… going through it. He’s got serious, intense OCD, as well as depression. I didn’t want to fuck up my portrayal of him, or OCD, so I did a lot of research, and I reached out to people with OCD. I learned a lot. Honestly, though, he’s suffering. He’s struggling, and he wants someone to hold him together. He makes finding love his priority, he tries to make it the answer, to make Audrey the answer. He invests everything in her. I just wanted to make his mindset, his genuine and pure love for her… I wanted it to feel as real and human as it is, and for people to understand why he does what he does, why he says what he says. I’m being a little vague— *laughs* I just don’t want to spoil it. But, yeah, Chris is very important to me. I was absolutely honored to play him.

SEAN: It was very, very evident that you put thought and love into him, and to the film. I think you pulled it off seamlessly, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Thank you, man.

Y/N: *nudging him, reminding* Were there any parts harder to film than others?

JOHNNY: Oh, right! Sorry… ugh, I don’t want to spoil anything.

SEAN: You don’t have to answer it if you’re concerned about spoiling.

JOHNNY: Okay. Well, if you’ve seen the film, or even if you haven’t… there’s a scene near the end, where Chris is alone… you’ll know what I’m talking about. It was difficult.

SEAN: Y/N?

Y/N: Okay. *she exhales* Hopefully I can articulate this well. I was attracted to the film for the same reasons as Johnny. But… what really did it for me was reading the monologue I was given for my audition. I don’t wanna say what it is, since I guess we are a spoiler-free zone, but it was so raw and real. I just fell in love with Audrey, I really did. She’s an aspiring novelist, and she truly loves writing, and words, and feeling. Maybe it’s also one of her biggest flaws… but she can’t bring herself to write a feeling she doesn’t understand. That’s, like, her thing. Every emotion—every smile, every tear, she has to have felt it for it to mean something. That’s what broke my heart. Life has just beat her to death, and on top of everything she’s been through, after how numb she has been for most of her life, it’s like she craves that sort of pain, the heartbreak. She falls in love easily, and she wants the impending heartbreak as much as she fears it. She wants her muse. She wants someone to give her the pain she wants to write about. It’s really fucked up. But she meets Chris, and she invests her mind, her body, her soul into him—and she doesn’t know what she wants anymore. She’s as real to me as anyone else. She’s fucked up, she’s brilliant, she’s lovable, she’s mean, she’s extremely flawed—and I just love her for that. I didn’t want to just play her… I wanted to be her, to immerse myself in who she is. I want people to watch the film and forget they’re watching a film. I want them to live it, and for them to know and love Chris and Audrey the way we do.

JOHNNY: You made my response sound bad.

Y/N: Oh, shut up.

SEAN: You’re obviously very passionate about them—and it shows on screen, as well. I don’t imagine it’s easy to portray those situations, for either of you, but I can’t tell you enough how amazing you two did.

Y/N: Thank you so much. Awwh—I’m really touched by that.

JOHNNY: It means so much. We put our heart and souls into this.

SEAN: You’re welcome! It’s honestly Oscar worthy, in my eyes.

Y/N: Oh my God—I can’t even think about that… never in a million years would I think about getting an Oscar. John, though, I can see.

JOHNNY: *scoffs* You’re insane. You deserve one—Miss Emmy award.

she sticks her tongue out at him, and he smiles adoringly at her.

SEAN: Ready for the next sauce?

they move on to the next sauce.

Y/N: *biting into the wing, mouth full* Oh, fuck.

SEAN: Bad?

Y/N: *shaking head* No, just a… strange flavor? Not bad, but different.

SEAN: You two are really good with this stuff—usually people are sweating a bit by now.

JOHNNY: I grew up with spice. Korean food is hot.

SEAN: So, Y/N, I wanted to talk a little more about ‘Obsession’.

Y/N: Go for it.

SEAN: Rumor has it that filming for season three is coming up… can you confirm that?

Y/N: I don’t know if I can confirm it, but I will. *laughs* We’re supposed to do a read-through in a few weeks and I am scared shitless.

SEAN: Why is that?

JOHNNY: Can I just say—she regularly spoils the show for me. I’m scared shitless, as well, because I don’t want her to drop any bombs on me.

Y/N: *pouting, whiny* But Johnny, my mom gets mad if I spoil it.... and you’re my best friend.

johnny rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

SEAN: You’re notorious for spoiling—I’m surprised you haven’t spoiled the movie in this.

JOHNNY: I made her promise not to.

Y/N: Yeah. But, uh, I’m nervous about what the fuck is going to happen this season. I stay in close contact with production, and… I’ve heard it’s going to be insane. I love playing Mina, I love her to death… so I’m, like, fearing for her life and well-being. We all know Jongin’s character, Kai, is fucking stalking her, and she’s just… oblivious. It’s scary. And last season we started to find out about Kyungsoo’s character, D.O., and the skeletons in his closet…

SEAN: The show definitely doesn’t shy away from the disturbing.

Y/N: Right! It’s part of why I love it… even though it can get insane and terrifying, it’s addicting. And, God, it’s so crazy how well Kyungsoo and Jongin play their parts. It’s almost weird how Jongin is so good at what he does—especially since he doesn’t have a background in acting. It’s a challenging role.

SEAN: I agree—it’s very chilling at times. As for Mina, she seems very different from you.

Y/N: Oh, one hundred percent. She’s vulnerable in a way that I’m not familiar with, in a way that very few people are. Sometimes I wish I could shake her by the shoulders, because she’s an idiot, she’s purposely continuing to fuck up her life, and I want her to realize her worth… and to stop wasting her time with Kai. D.O. is better, even though he’s also batshit—and I can’t rave enough about Kyungsoo, my God. He’s a dream. He’s helped me adjust to the success, and helps me with my performance… We all know how perfect he is.

johnny had been listening intently the entire time, but frowned slightly when y/n raved about kyungsoo. his jealousy is shown on camera, albeit subtly.

SEAN: You know, we’ve had so many requests for you two on the show, as well. Jongin and Sehun as well.

Y/N: I never want to do an interview with Sehun—he’s a little shit and I refuse to compliment him. He bullies me more than Johnny does.

JOHNNY: *grinning* She’s lying, she loves him.

y/n shakes her head at the camera.

the next sauce is shown.

Y/N: Oh, this one is your sauce!

SEAN: Yeah, it’s one we made for this season. Ready?

they all bite into the wings.

JOHNNY: Oh, God… *he grabs his water and takes a sip*

y/n is coughing and has her nose scrunched.

SEAN: You guys okay?

Y/N: This hurts.

JOHNNY: Yeah, uh, this one is a bit of a leap.

y/n goes to scratch beside her eye, but johnny notices and quickly grabs her hand.

SEAN: Your eyes!

Y/N: *eyes wide* Oh, God, thank you… that would have been bad.

JOHNNY: Dummy.

SEAN: Johnny, you’re one of the most followed Instagram users in the world. On top of Youtube, Instagram, and Twitter, fans have been requesting you join TikTok.

y/n is giggling.

JOHNNY: God, they really have.

SEAN: Any plans for that? Or is YouTube enough for you right now?

JOHNNY: Honestly, I’m not that big of a fan of TikTok. Y/N sends me a lot of them, but that’s really it. I don’t have an account. So, honestly, probably not.

Y/N: You don’t watch all of the ones I send you…

JOHNNY: You send me about twenty a day.

Y/N: And?

SEAN: *laughs* Well, you’re obviously popular on the other platforms.

JOHNNY: The Instagram thing blows my mind.

Y/N: Oh, please… you always stop for pictures. You’re all about your daily fits.

JOHNNY: Because I’m fashionable.

SEAN: Yeah, I was going to ask about that. You’ve done a few fashion shows, and you’re an ambassador for Saint Laurent. You’ve expressed interest in creating your own clothing line, as well. Were you serious about that?

JOHNNY: Oh, yeah. I would love to be able to have my own line… fashion has always been something I’ve been interested in, and I enjoy styling my outfits, as well as my friends’.

Y/N: He helps me. I have a horrible sense of fashion.

JOHNNY: You’re not that bad.

Y/N: Eh.

SEAN: You’ve made headlines just because of your street style.

JOHNNY: *laughs* Yeah, that’s… something. Honestly, though, maybe in a few years… I’d love to have my own line. I’m also honored to be a Saint Laurent ambassador—they’ve been one of my favorite brands for years.

SEAN: You’re really a jack of all trades—Youtuber, influencer, actor, singer, and model. Is there anything you can’t do?

Y/N: I can answer that—no. He’s infuriatingly perfect.

JOHNNY: *teasing* Awwh, babe, you’re so sweet.

he caresses her cheek, and y/n is screaming on the inside.

Y/N: I take it back.

the ninth sauce is introduced.

Y/N: Fucking hell.

she begins to cough, and fan her face. the sauce is nearly unbearable. johnny breaths out, eyes wide and staring at the table. he also coughs a bit.

SEAN: You okay?

JOHNNY: Yeah, this sucks. This is hot as fuck, holy shit.

y/n is still silent, and begins to chug her entire glass of water.

SEAN: Y/N?

Y/N: I’m good. I’m fine. I got it.

JOHNNY: *concerned* You sure, love?

once again, y/n is flustered. this time, she’s bad at hiding it. she blames it on the spice.

Y/N: U-uh, yeah… *gets a grip on herself, waves him off* Yeah. Don’t worry ‘bout it.

she is clearly still affected, whereas johnny has already tackled the intensity of the spice.

SEAN: I’m curious—are there any genres of film that you two want to try? And do you two want to work on another project together?

johnny looks over at y/n, a slight crease in his brow. worried.

Y/N: Um, my mouth hurts. You go first, mm?

johnny squeezes her thigh under the table and pushes his water towards her.

JOHNNY: Of course I’d want to work with her again. That’s my Y/N—I feel like we bring the best out of each other, and, again, I love working with her. As for things I’d want to try… *he trails off, his mind definitely on things he wants to try… but not in relation to the question. he pushes his hair back with his wrist* I think It’d be fun to do a crime movie. I’m obviously fond of doing dramas and musicals, as well as coming-of-age movies, but playing a criminal would be fun.

SEAN: I didn’t expect that! I can see it, though.

JOHNNY: Yeah, I’d like to do something like Robert Pattinson in ‘Good Time’.

SEAN: I think you could pull that off. Y/N, you doing okay?

Y/N: *smiles* Yeah, sorry! Just had to get used to it. Uh… yeah, me too—working with Johnny again, I mean. Of course—he’s my guy. Working with him is the best. And… ooh, honestly, I want to be in a horror movie, or a thriller! I like psychological thrillers, and I love scary movies… very open to that. *laughs* John, we should do a movie like Zac Efron and Lily Collins… what was it? The Bundy movie.

SEAN: That’d be interesting.

JOHNNY: Hell yeah.

the final sauce is displayed.

y/n has her head in her hands, stressed, and johnny has moved his hand from her thigh to her back.

JOHNNY: C’mon, it’ll be okay.

SEAN: We’re almost done! You’ve done really great so far.

Y/N: *sighs* Shit’s hot, dude… fuck it, let’s get it over wwith.

the guys laugh as y/n hurriedly bites into the wing. they follow. johnny has a funny expression on as he swallows.

JOHNNY: Goddamn… this hurts. *he coughs*

SEAN: Yeah, this one is pretty bad.

y/n has her head completely down on the table, but with one elbow propped up, sauce still on her fingers. you can hear her moaning in pain.

JOHNNY: Here, drink some water.

he grabs her and sits her up, gently, but laughs at her pained expression.

Y/N: I hate this. Do we have milk?

SEAN: Yeah, we’ll get you some.

she coughs, johnny rubbing her back, and reaches for the glass of milk. he still seems collected.

SEAN: You got it, Y/N.

y/n is chugging the milk and giving a thumbs up. johnny smiles at her.

SEAN: So, we got deep with some of these questions.

JOHNNY: You’re a hell of an interviewer.

Y/N: *still pained, but smiling* I don’t know what you lace things wings with to get us this deep. We talked a lot.

SEAN: All good answers though! So, for this last one, it’s not really a question—anything you guys want to say to each other or to the cameras? Anything, the floor is yours.

the two look at each other, silently asking a question. johnny smiles, but it quickly turns to an intense stare. y/n’s eyes widen, confused. he can’t look at her like that.

Y/N: *nervous* What?

JOHNNY: *puts a hand on y/n’s cheek and leans in, almost smiling at her flustered expression* Y/N…

y/n bursts out laughing, but is equally terrified. her heart is beating out of her chest. sean internally feels like he is interrupting something again.

JOHNNY: I just wanted to tell you… it’s something I’ve wanted to say for years. Something that—fuck, this’ll probably change everything. I just need to tell you, get this off my chest.

y/n is panicking and fails at masking it. she looks over at the cameras, genuinely baffled. they’re doing an interview, what was he doing?

Y/N: Johnny, what-?

JOHNNY: When we were at that hotel with Jaehyun and Sooyoung—a few years back, remember? You lost your room key and got locked out, and I told you I didn’t have it, but I was lying. I took it on purpose to fuck with you.

y/n is gaping, completely at a loss. sean laughs, also shocked. johnny is laughing his ass off.

Y/N: I… you fucking bitch.

SEAN: You really had me going there.

Y/N: Edit this out. I have nothing to say to this asshole.

JOHNNY: *innocently* What did I do?

Y/N: *ignoring him, turning to the camera, smiling* Anyway, thank you for watching us! ‘Day Dream’ is out in theatres, and we really hope you’ll go see it. We put our all into it, as did the other cast members and the crew, and I know you all will enjoy it!

JOHNNY: Yeah, please go see it, you won’t be disappointed.

johnny smiles at the camera, and then y/n who rolls her eyes and shoves him, though she is unable to suppress her smile.

the logo appears on screen and the video ends.

[babymetaldoll]

I've been working out a little bit (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes.

Summary: Spencer has been working out with Penelope, and they are doing their best to keep it a secret. Until (Y/N) finds out and tries to help. And though he doesn't want to because he is embarrassed about his poor athletic performance, somehow she manages to help.  

Category: Fluff

Warnings: Curses, frustration. Good old fools in love.

Word count: 3.8K

A/N: Hello, pretty people! I've missed you! I hope you like this little story. It's one of the last requests pending on my list. Tomorrow I can finally visit my grandparents, I'll be taking care of them for at least two weeks, and though I know it's hard work, I am just so happy I can be with them again!! I miss them! Take care, whenever you are! Love you!

Masterlist

                                    𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

- "No fucking way, Spencer!" (Y/N) widened her eyes and laughed so hard tears filled her eyes. She was sitting at her desk at work, staring at her best friend, who could barely walk due to the two hours he had spent that morning training with Penelope.

- "Please, don't tell anyone."- he whispered and looked around the bullpen. He was too embarrassed already to let anyone else know he had to take the mandatory fit test. He wanted to avoid the jokes, especially Derek's.

- "Your secret is safe with me, as always, chipmunk"- (Y/N) smiled and bit her lips, trying not to laugh anymore- "But why on earth are you working out? You have enough case hours to cover a fit test!"

- "Apparently, I can't skip it this year. Both me and Penelope have to take it."- Spencer whispered and sat down very slowly, pain written all over his face.

His best friend stared at him reading the mix of embarrassment and physical pain he felt with each movement he made. (Y/N) smiled and opened one of her drawers, looking for the last Snicker she had hidden in case of need. Watching Spencer in pain was precisely the case. She stood up and handed him the candy, making his heart skip a beat. Spencer did his best to hide the blush on his cheeks and just looked away.

- "I can help you if you want."- (Y/N) whispered and cut him the most adorable smile she had.

- "Help me what?"

- "Working out."- she replied and bit her granola bar- "I can teach you how to kick ass, and I do look hot wearing sweat shorts."

Spencer nearly chook. He flushed and closed his eyes, trying to cover up his embarrassment. But (Y/N) giggled and turned around. Her job there was done. Now Spencer had to be picturing her in her sweat shorts.

Of course, he was. He couldn't stop, actually.

The two agents were the youngest of the team, and somehow sometimes in-between cases, it showed. Especially when they were on their own, and their conversations ended up in casual flirting.

(Y/N) was head over feet in love with Spencer, though she was never going to face it. God knows Penelope had tried to force her to deal with her feelings. But she was closed as an oyster. No matter how much Garcia insisted or how drunk they were, (Y/N) kept denying her true feelings in public.

Spencer wasn't indifferent. Not at all. As a matter of fact, he was in love with (Y/N). Everything about her bewitched him. Ever since the first time he laid eyes on her, he felt it. She was tailor-made for him. If only he weren't a nervous wreck each time he saw her...

After two years working together, Spencer had managed to overcome part of my shyness and awkwardness around (Y/N). They were best friends, and they would usually hang out in their free time. The little free time they had in the BAU. But even when they could playfully flirt all the time, Spencer was sure she didn't like him that way. He convinced himself she was just joking.

--

(Y/N) headed to the Batcave holding a large frappuccino and knocked on the half-opened door before walking in.

- "Penelope García, I had the feeling you were running caffeine low."

- "Oh my pretty little thing! How do you do it? You read my mind!"- the tech analyst nearly hyperventilated as soon as she held her ice and creamed coffee.

- "Reid and I were out for a little break, and I knew you would like one of these to cheer up your afternoon"- Garcia sipped her frappuccino and nodded. But as soon as she had finished savoring the perfect coffee, she asked.

- "So, you and Reid..."

- "We were out getting coffee, like the best friends we are."

- "But, there's coffee here in the kitchenette. There's no need to go out and get coffee unless you want to find an excuse to be alone with him."- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and sighed. Garcia did that every single chance she got.

- "You and I know the FBI doesn't share our concept of "good" coffee."- (Y/N) looked at her friend and just smiled- "Besides, I told you, I felt you needed some extra sugar and joy in your life after your early workout session this morning."

- "That little snitch!"- (Y/N) chuckled and shook her head.

- "Don't get mad at Reid. He didn't tell me anything. I kind of figured there was something wrong 'cos he looked in so much pain just breathing."

- "Oh man, he is sored, but I am sure he would be way sorer if you train with him."

- "I offered myself to help him"- Garcia raised an eyebrow at (Y/N) 's words, and the young agent wide opened her eyes, blushing- "Stop staring at me like I'm a perv! I meant helping him train for the test. I could help you too."

- "Thank you, but no, thank you. I trained with you, and there's no way we are going to do all that boxing again."

- "Come on! You said you had fun!"

- "I did! I really did... but I could barely move the next day! And I had a date! I couldn't even dance, less doing... other... nevermind"- Penelope stopped herself in her tracks and shook her head.

- "Shit, PG!"- (Y/N) closed her eyes and chuckled- "Spare me the details."

- "Sorry... anyway... you and the little genius should definitely train in a more... horizontal way."

- "Garcia! Stop it!"- (Y/N) laughed and stood up- "I'm gonna go back to work 'cos clearly you have some hormonal issues today, and you are projecting."

- "Stop acting like you haven't thought about it!"- Garcia said and chuckled as her friend walked away.

- "I'm not telling you anything."

- "That means yes!"

- "No! it doesn't!"- (Y/N) was blushing; that's why she refused to turn around and look at Penelope.

- "Oh! It so does!"

--

The end of that day found Spencer even more sore, hungry and weary than he had felt in years. All he wanted to do was go home, eat pizza leftovers from the night before, and go straight to bed.

Until...

- "Hey, chipmunk!"- (Y/N) looked at Spencer, gathering all his things and getting ready to go home.- "Dinner at my place tonight. My treat."

- "I can pick the take out tonight?"- he said immediately and asked himself where did that come from if, a second earlier, all he wanted to do was to go to bed. Probably from the same place that kept coming back to the image of her in sweat shorts.

- "Even better. I'll cook"- (Y/N) answered and winked, playfully- "You deserve a proper homemade dinner after all the workout you did this morning."

Spencer looked at her and didn't even notice the silly smile on his face. If he had known how in love he was looking, he would have probably slapped himself. (Y/N) sighed and stood up.

- "I'm gonna take that silence as a "Great (Y/N)! Thank you! How considered! I'm so lucky to have you in my life".

Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head.

- "Thank you, (Y/N). But I'll give you more praise if your food turns out to be eatable"- the young agent gasped, pretending to be insulted by his words, and hit Reid's arm with her knuckles.

- "Auch! (Y/N)!"

- "I'm being nice, and you are insulting me! I'm having second thoughts about driving you over!"

- "I can take the subway! You are such a slow driver I can actually be there faster."

Spencer stuck out his tongue at her and ran to the elevator, 'cos his friend widened her eyes and ran after him, probably to hit him again.

Morgan and Prentiss stared at the scene in silence, sharing a few looks, both of them thinking the exact same thing: "When are these two goofs ever going to hook up?"

- "They are annoying"- Rossi stood next to Emily's desk and crossed his arms on his chest.

- "They are in love"- she corrected, but David shook his head and sighed.

- "I know, and they are adorable, but it's so annoying staring at the same scene over and over again, waiting for something, anything, to happen between them."

- "Are you turning into a bitter old man who completely forgot about the charm of being young and in love?"- Prentiss raised an eyebrow and turned to Rossi. The Italian stared right into her eyes and shook his head.

- "I'm just saying someone should try to tell them something."

- "I've tried to talk to him about her a million times. But Reid is one private kid."- Derek said from his desk as the three of them stared at Spencer and (Y/N) getting into the elevator, still arguing and playfully playing.

- "And he is so insecure. He doesn't think she likes him."

- "Likes him? She is clearly in love with him!"- Prentiss said, annoyed- "I swear, if nothing happens between them this weekend, I'm going to intervene."

- "Now who is forgetting about the charm of being young and in love?"- Rossi joked and sighed- "Come on guys, dinner's on me."

--

(Y/N)' s dinner was a success. Spencer ate two portions of honey mustard-glazed chicken bake. She even managed to make him eat vegetables. And Spencer didn't even argue. Not only because it was delicious, and his body really needed some homemade dinner. But also 'cos (Y/N) got him wrapped around her fingers, even without knowing it. And if she asked him to eat veggies, Spencer (no matter how much he would argue) would eat his damn veggies. And he could actually enjoy them.

- "Ok, chipmunk, you ate all your food. You earned your dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and picked the dirty dishes from the table.

- "Let me do that. You already fed me. The least I can do is do the dishes."

Spencer followed her moves and took the dishes to the sink. (Y/N) didn't argue with that. It wasn't the first time Spencer cleaned the kitchen with her, after all. They had been good friends, close friends, for a long time, and they were used to being around each other.

But this time, it felt somehow different. Like there was something in the air warning them things were about to change for good.

- "Ok, doc. Do you wanna eat your dessert watching tv for a while?"- (Y/N) handed Spencer an ice cream bowl with chocolate chips on top and some whipped cream.

- "A smiley ice cream bowl?"- Spencer chuckled as he stared at it. He loved it.

- "Yes, you are never too old to eat food with a smile on it. And that's a life lesson, Spencer Walter Reid."- she said and walked to the couch, holding the remote control.

- "You are filled with wisdom, (Y/N)"- Reid teased her and sat by her side.

- "I know. It would help if you let me train you. You would pass your fit test in a blink."- she said and continued surfing channels.

- "Thanks, but no thanks. I wanna do it on my own."- Spencer glued his eyes on the screen and ate his dessert. (Y/N) just nodded and continued surfing channels.

- "Why?"- she asked him after a few minutes. They had been watching an old movie in silence, just eating their ice cream.

- "Why what?"- he whispered and looked at her just for a second. He didn't trust himself around (Y/N), especially under those circumstances: alone in her house. She had changed into leggings and an old extra-large sweatshirt. Her hair was in a messy bun. And Spencer didn't feel able to look at her into the eyes, 'cos he was going to cave in. He was going to grab her face with both hands and kiss her right there. No questions asked.

Which is why he avoided looking at her.

- "Why don't you want me to help you train?"

- "Just because"- he answered and glued his eyes to the screen. But (Y/N) knew better. She moved closer to him on the couch and held his hands. Spencer shivered right away at the sensation of her skin. It was so warm and soft. All he craved was some more of that. He wanted to feel her. Touch her. Taste her.

His head was going way too fast, and just because she held his hand.

- "Spencer, look at me"- she whispered and practically begged her friend to pay her attention- "I just wanna help. It's just a stupid fit test. It ain't hard."

- "For you."- he mumbled and looked down at his hand as her fingers played against his skin.

- "I didn't want you or anyone to help me 'cos I'm a fucking SSA who should be perfectly able to perform a simple fit test on his own. But no. I can't! And do you know what that means?"

- "That finally I know there's one thing you are not good at?"- she answered and smiled at him. Spencer raised his eyes and met hers. He knew his cheeks were all shades of pink, but for once, he just didn't care. He just wanted to look at her and see if she meant it. Or if she was just teasing him.

- "Right"- he snorted and shook his head.

- "I mean it, Spencer. You don't have to be good at everything."

- "It's a fit test. It's basic to be an agent. I need to be able to catch an unsub."- (Y/N) frowned and tried to understand where all that self-doubt and insecurity was coming from. To her eyes, Spencer had nothing to be ashamed of. To her, he was perfect in every single way.

- "You already catch unsubs, chipmunk. Everyday. You don't have to kick down doors to make a profile. And you don't have to run six miles to get the bad guy. Everything that you do every day at work is what an SSA is supposed to do. And you excel at it."

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at her best friend, trying to push aside the urge she felt to kiss him. His golden-brown eyes looked so big, like honey pools, she could stare for a lifetime. Spencer didn't know what to say. He really wasn't good with praises. He wasn't used to them. Not in that way.

- "Besides"- (Y/N) added after a few seconds of silence when she realized she might have said too much and started panicking.

- "It feels good to finally know there is one thing I am better than you at."

- "What are you talking about?"- Spencer answered right away, in the sassiest tone of voice.- "Just because I suck working out doesn't mean you are better. Even at my lowest, I'm still better than whatever you can do in a gym."

Reid was obviously joking. He knew (Y/N) could kick ass. Not only had she saved his life many times on the field, but also, he had seen her working out. And she could definitely kick his ass if she wanted to.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to tease her just because.

- "You take that back, Reid!"- she threatened him and

- "No"- he sentenced and crossed his arms on his chest

- "Last chance. Take it back, or you will pay for it."

- "Make me."

And that was it.

In a second, (Y/N) was on him tickling him, and trying to practice a chokehold on him. But Spencer was faster, and somehow, stronger than her. Maybe it was because he was struggling with himself. A part of him wanted her closer, and a part of him didn't want her too close, 'cos he knew his pants were going to start feeling too tight if she did.

Whatever the reason was, after two minutes of wrestling, Spencer had (Y/N) pinned down against the couch. And the way she panted against the fabric of the cushion wasn't helping him with his pants.

- "Spencer, it hurts"- she cried and tried to move from his grip, but he didn't let her go.

- "If you want me to release you, you have to say I am the best agent in this house."

- "Never!"- (Y/N) quickly answered and continued struggling.

- "Just say it, I've got you held, and I'm not going to let you free until you say it."- something in his tone of voice, it was teasing but also... sexy? (Y/N) knew Spencer wasn't trying to act that way, but it was working for her in a way she hadn't imagined. He would be so soft. And now, there he was, acting like a dominant man, holding her tight, not letting her move, literally pinned against the couch.

If only it were all happening in a different context.

- "Let me go, Spencer Reid!"- (Y/N) battled against his arms, but it was useless

- "Just say it"- he leaned in and whispered in her ear, and (Y/N) sword she could almost feel his smile as he spoke.

- "You are the best agent!! There, happy?"- she mumbled, making her best to sound annoyed and not turned on. Spencer released her, and she quickly sat down properly, rubbing her left wrist.

- "Did I hurt you?"- Spencer whispered and noticed how flustered she was. That was a first.

- "No. But I gotta tell you, you are stronger than I thought."- she said and stuck out her tongue to him, trying to be playful and innocent, though you could feel it in the air. That moment was anything but innocent.

- "Yeah, I've been working out a little bit."- Spencer answered and chuckled at his own words.

- "Well, you are going to have to learn how to control your new strength, 'cos this is going to leave a bruise"- (Y/N) whined and showed him her sore wrist. Spencer winced, ashamed he had been so hard on her without meaning any harm. He moved closer to her and held her wrist carefully. (Y/N) just looked at him as he kissed her wrist a few times.

That man couldn't be real. He was such a tease.

Did he know all the things he was, in fact, doing to her with that simple touch?

He surely had to know. Otherwise, there was no explanation, she thought.

- "Thanks"- (Y/N) whispered and fixed her eyes on his lips, still landing small kisses on her wrist.

That was when she stopped breathing. Spencer was literally breathtaking. He smiled at her, and she just couldn't help it anymore. (Y/N) leaned in and kissed him. It was a soft, short peck. But she had dared to do the unthinkable.

She kissed her best friend.

Spencer widened his eyes, shocked, and looked at her, not saying a word. They just stayed still for a good thirty seconds until Spencer finally made his move, cupping her jaw carefully with both hands and pulling her face against his.

The way she moaned into the kiss made him feel more in control than he had ever been before.

It was a soft kiss but intense. Spencer's lips rubbed carefully against her mouth, and his tongue moved carefully, making its way until he could taste her. (Y/N) moved closer to him until she was basically sitting on his lap, and his arms wrapped around her body, locking her against him.

They were in heaven.

Until it was over. Their phones buzzed at the same time, breaking the spell, ending the charm. (Y/N) jumped from Spencer's arms and grabbed her phone.

- "We've got a case"- she whispered and turned to him. He was agitated, his cheeks were red, his pants felt tight, and he was starving for more of those kisses.

- "Ok."- he replied but didn't move.

- "I'm gonna change, then we can go."- (Y/N) added, but he didn't say a word. To be fair, Spencer wasn't processing what was going on. He was still trying to elaborate a coherent thought. And most of all, he was fighting the boner in his pants that didn't let him stand up.

You could blame all the sugar in his body after the massive bowl of ice cream, or all the praising (Y/N) had given him, but Spencer found a new level of courage in that kiss. He decided it was time to stop overthinking it. It was time to act on his feelings.

- "(Y/N)"- Reid knocked on her bedroom door and heard her from the walking closet.

- "I'm almost ready. Did you talk with Garcia?"

- "No, but I don't wanna leave things like this. I wanted to talk about what just happened."

(Y/N) sighed and took a look at herself in the mirror. She could still feel her cheeks burning after that kiss, after feeling her best friend hard underneath her body, holding her against him. But she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what Reid was about to say. Most of all, because she was sure it was going to be something along the lines: "That kiss was a mistake, you are my friend. I don't wanna ruin this."

- "That kiss was..."- he mumbled and walked to her as soon as she showed up in the room, but words were hard to find when she looked at him that way.

- "Spencer, I..."- she tried to speak, but he just continued.

- "Would you like to..."

- "Pretend it didn't happen?"

- "Go out on a date with me?"- the two of them said at the same time and widened their eyes in shock.

- "What?"- (Y/N) questioned and stared at her best friend in shock- "You want to go out with me?"

- "You want to pretend it never happened?"- he asked her, scared he might have rushed to the wrong conclusions.

- "No, no, no, I don't... I can't pretend it didn't happen"- (Y/N) quickly answered and held Spencer's hand, afraid she might have ruined everything.

- "I was just scared you were going to reject me or..."- (Y/N) bt her lips and dared to look at him- "I wanna go out on a date with you"- she whispered and watched his whole face change as a big silly grin drawn on his lips.

- "Really?"- he murmured, still not sure it was actually happening. He asked her out. She said yes. He was sure that was never going to happen in real life.

- "Really"- she assured him and leaned in slowly to kiss him one more time. But her phone rang again, and so did his. This time it was a message from Hotch. Wheels up as soon as they reached the FBI.

- "But after we catch the bad guy."- (Y/N) added, and Spencer chuckled.

- "Sounds like a plan."

Spencer Reid’s taglist: 

@calm-and-doctor @all-tings-diego

Requested by @shilohpug​ 

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[whumpmatsus]

“How bad is it now…?”

You wince as your mind fully processes the number on the thermometer. “It’s 39.5. Shit… this is pretty bad.”

It’s been several days of your poor boyfriend not really improving. The whole thing started with vague complaints of just not feeling well, then morphed into cold symptoms, and now he’s got the worst cough you’ve ever heard in your life. It’s so bad you don’t know how he can possibly breathe around it.

What concerns you most is that his fever has barely gone down. In fact, it’s higher  now than the first time you took his temperature a few days ago.

He should be feeling better by now, at least a little, and instead he’s still far too sick to go to work. You’ve been trying to balance your own job with caring for him once you get home, trusting his brothers to do so during the day. His oldest brother Osomatsu confirms when you ask him that Choromatsu barely moves the entire time you’re gone; he doesn’t actually move much when you’re here, either.

In response to your announcement he groans and pulls his blanket up farther. He just looks horrible… his face is flushed, his bangs are sticking to his skin, his nose is bright red, his lips are chapped, and he looks about two seconds from fainting dead away.

“At least it explains why I feel so crappy,” he mumbles, and softens a little when you gently comb his hair back off his forehead. “Should I go back to sleep? I… I kind of want some tea first… i-if you don’t mind?”

You blow out a breath, just short of a sigh, but it’s equivalent enough to feel like a pressure release. … Though. The pressure is building back up quickly. “Honey… this isn’t just a little cold. Not anymore. Your fever is really high, Choromatsu.”

That nervous frown of his makes your heart break. He knows what you’re going to suggest and he doesn’t like it one bit. “I-I… I can sleep it off. Really, I can…”

His anxiety must be rising just as high as his temperature, because he’s starting to breathe the way he does when he gets panicky ― shallow, quick, and too many in succession. It doesn’t take more than a second for that to bloom into a cough that forces him to stop speaking.

It sounds awful. It’s deep and rattly and it has to be making his chest sore, if the way he tosses the blanket off and reaches up is any indication. You don’t think it can be any good on his throat either. The fit lasts for what feels like forever, turning his face an even darker shade of red.

“Babe, babe, calm down, please…” You lean over immediately to pat his back, giving a couple of sharp but careful taps between his shoulder blades. “Hey, Choro, honey, come on… it’s okay. Do you need some water?”

After he takes a few sips and has caught his breath (or what’s left of it, by this point), he gives you a mournful expression. God, the poor man just looks so tired and miserable. “(Name)…”

You press a kiss to his forehead, making him melt even more under your touch. “I know you don’t wanna hear it, hon… but I think I’ve gotta take you to the hospital. You’re coughing all the time, you’ve got aches so bad you can hardly move, and now your temp’s 39.5. You can’t just sleep that kind of fever off. It’s time to try something else.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then suddenly you see tears forming in his eyes. No sooner have you noticed them than he’s pressing his face into your shoulder, sniffling and all tensed up. When he speaks up, you recognize the wobbly tremor in his voice as a sign that he’s trying to hold himself together because he doesn’t want to cry. “I… I’m scared. I don’t w-want to… I… I don’t…” He takes a breath. It sounds shaky and crackly and painful. “What if it’s… r-really serious? I don’t feel well… and I… I can’t…”

“Shhh, shh. I know you’re scared, baby, I know. This is scary. I’m scared, too.” You gather him up in your arms, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back. Seeing him anxious to the point of tears is never fun. You do, however, relish the intimacy that comes with being able to hold him and comfort him. “I’m worried about you. If it is something serious, then we need to find out what it is and what we need to do. It’s not getting better on its own.”

He nods against you and sniffles again. “I-I know…”

The two of you fall silent again, sitting here close to each other. Everything hangs in the air above you; even though you’re confident that whatever this is isn’t going to cause permanent damage, the high fever is alarming. Whatever it is, it still needs to be treated by doctors, because what you’ve been doing at home isn’t enough.

You shift slightly to brush a ginger kiss over his temple. “Will you let me take you? Please?”

A few congested, weak breaths dart against your neck. “… Yeah. I guess… yeah.”

“There’s my good boy,” you hum. “Come on, let me help you up and we’ll get going…”

“(Name)… w… what if… what if I need to stay overnight o-or something? Shouldn’t we t-take a bag?”

You carefully peel the blanket away, then wince when you remember that he’s been sleeping here without even any pajama bottoms or anything. You hurry over to the closet to grab him a pair of pants. “I want to get you to the hospital first, okay? I’ll take my phone and tell everyone we’re leaving. If it turns out you need to stay overnight, I’ll text Totty and have him bring whatever we need.”

Choromatsu nods, but you can see the constant crank of anxiety behind his eyes, coming up with even more questions. “H-how are we gonna get there? I… I don’t really wanna go on the train right now…”

“I’ll drive, okay?” You gesture for him to move with you as you try to get the pants over his legs. “I’ve got some masks in the car, so we’ll get one on you before we go into the hospital.”

“O… okay. But… but what about m-my parents? Mom’s out shopping, and… and Dad’s still at work…”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll call Karamatsu on the way and ask him to let them know when they get home.”

He manages to tug his pants the rest of the way up and zip them himself, only because you think he’d have… other problems if you did it. “Th-there’s so many of us… what if they c-can’t all visit me at once?”

“Then they’ll go in shifts. Your mom and dad can go first, and your brothers, contrary to popular belief, are grown adults who are familiar with the concept of taking turns.” You give his hands a cautious squeeze and nuzzle your forehead against his. “I know you’re worried, but I’ll be right here with you. You just do your best to relax, and I’ll take care of everything else. Are you ready to go?”

Something in his face tells you he’s probably never going to be ready. He nods anyway, haltingly. “C… can… can Osomatsu ride with us?”

You pause briefly to consider that. On the one hand, the eldest is easily the most immature of the bunch. On the other hand, he’s proved himself to be pretty damn competent while Choromatsu’s been sick. If his presence would make your boyfriend feel any more at ease, then you’re all for it. “Yeah, we’ll grab him on the way out. Ready?”

He takes what you assume is supposed to be a deep breath, and gets to his feet with your help, leaning against your shoulder. “Y… yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Okay. “Let’s go, babe.”

[paintedlight]

Supernatural Season 15 & Sufjan Stevens' “The Ascension”

Teaser: there’s a song on this album called "Die Happy” where the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. yeah. yeah.

Disclaimer: yes it’s all a stretch and I’m overthinking it but also… am I? (yes) 

long post time! know that reading ahead may hurt you and yes it does get worse the further down the track list you get 💕 have fun kids

So just to start off, I think it’s funny that something Sufjan’s discography & Supernatural have in common is the 15+ years of the internet arguing if it’s gay or not, and the answer ending up being yes. PLUS there’s the obvious connection of American mythos + mythology + calvinist themes (I am hissing) + religious trauma prevalent in both. 

If you’re a fan of both like I am, it’s easy to connect them— notable connections being songs like “John My Beloved” and “The Owl and the Tanager” or even “John Wayne Gacy Jr.”, but I’m going to focus on Sufjan's 2020 album, “The Ascension” since even the arc itself seems so connected to season 15 of Supernatural, specifically. 

At least in my head it does <3 enjoy 

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CANNOT REFUSE

When interviewed about the meaning of this track, Sufjan explains that this song is about asking God, “what do you have to say for humanity?” That it’s about desperation, creation, and devastation. It’s about frustration with divinity. Also the vibes are 10/10. Need I say more 

RUN AWAY WITH ME

This song is beautiful, it makes me want to sit in some grass and stare at the sky. 

Some lines that make me Dean/Cas crazy are the two lines in verse 1 and verse 2 that mirror each other by being in the same place melodically:

Verse 1: they will terrorize us / with new confusion / with the fear of life that seeks to bring despair within

Verse 2: I will bring you life / a new communion / with a paradise that brings the truth to light within

Yeahhh so the words “Despair” and “The Truth” were mirrored in this song yes it was coincidental yes I’m clinging to it. It fascinates me 

But this song is about begging someone to stay with you.

sweet falling remedy / come run away with me / you’re all I ever need

VIDEO GAME

My first thought when I heard this song was about how it was such a song for enneagram 4s. If you don’t know what that means, I think Dean is a 4 and wrote a post about it here. 

AND @trapperjohnmcintyre also made the connection between these lyrics and Dean in this post, and honestly I don’t need to say much more than that??

The song is about feeling paranoid and angry that God is controlling your every move and you can’t escape it (aka hating the doctrine of predestination). Of course it’s also about not wanting to follow societal scripts. 

You just want to have an easier life instead of the weight of good and evil resting on your back!!!

I don’t want to put the devil on a pedestal / I don’t want put the saints in chains / I just want to make my life a little easier / I don’t want to play your video game

Also these painful lines, as a treat: 

I don’t want to love you if you don’t receive it / I don’t want to save the world that way

Oh, I almost forgot, also. At the end, the narrator gives up. He’s like well I guess I can’t escape. Gotta follow the procedure. Gotta be a puppet.

I don’t want it to go down that way / but in a way you gotta follow the procedure / so go ahead and play your video game

  LAMENTATIONS

I don’t have much to say about this one but this line always makes my heart ache idk:

I was only thinking of human kindness

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

Here we gooooooo. Y’all aren’t ready.

Thesis: Tell me you love me despite the primordial darkness about to overtake me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to love you. 

15x18 Despair anyone?? 

I want to just paste the whole song but, here—

DIE HAPPY

Yep, "Die Happy" immediately follows "Tell Me You Love Me." Yes, the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” over and over for almost 6 minutes. 

First of all, the repetition mirrors the end of the song Fourth of July, from Sufjan’s previous album Carrie & Lowell, where Sufjan sings “we’re all gonna die” over and over.

Parallels, baby.

But I noticed something else about this recently though— in Die Happy, if you are listening to it in your headphones, there’s this weird sound that sounds like a wasp flying around your head (it made me uncomfortable which is why I noticed it, haha). After I felt unnerved for a moment, I had a realization— that this could be referencing one of Sufjan’s most beloved songs, “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!!” (yes that’s a real song title lol)

The Predatory Wasp is about how Sufjan fell in love with his best friend at the Bible Camp he went to as a teenager. The wasp is a metaphor for internalized homophobia and also his love and how he fears his love will hurt the boy he’s in love with. 

So, Die Happy references an iconic song from Illinois (2005) with these notable lines:

Tl;dr: 

I want to die happy vs. I can’t explain the state that I’m in / the state of my heart / he was my best friend

Here’s an Despair photoset with Predatory Wasp lyrics via @toneelspeelster. 

ATIVAN

So your best friend has just died happy by being in love with you. You feel like the primordial darkness is on YOU now:

I woke up in stereo—I spent the day in vertigo / I could not get the spirit off my back

You’re once again tossed in the waves of thinking that God is fucking with you. But either way you just want to be tranquilized at this point. 

Is it all for something? Is it all part of a plan / tranquilize me, sanitize me, Ativan

Is it all for nothing? Is it all part of a plan? / make my death wish, mind my business / do the best I can with what I am

Ativan asks, was the true leading woman all this time… substance abuse?? 

Ativan / my leading woman

Long story short, you’re drunk on communion wine, asking the shadows to come back.

fill me with the blood of Jesus / clean my plate 'til he receives us / separate the colors from the black / ... / tell the shadows near us to come back

 URSA MAJOR & LANDSLIDE

Not a lot to say about this (even though I love these songs) so I’m gonna skip mostly, but the narrator has decided he wants to love you, he can’t help it <3 

GILGAMESH

Oh boy. 

I mean you kinda know what’s coming because of the title. The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest piece of epic world literature, and Gilgamesh was “the first hero of human history.” 

In the world’s oldest story, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Enkidu are “very close friends” (their relationship is very homoerotic and this is barely disputed). Gilgamesh calls Enkidu his brother, and they are mutually selfless towards each other but when Enkidu dies, indirectly because of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh has a breakdown and mourns him like that of a spouse and then has to come to terms with his own mortality. 

The meta level of this is so obvious I’m not even going to go into it. Anyways… here are lyrics that make me want to scream! 

the repetition of “my heart”... the concept of singing a eulogy.... saying your heart is chained to Your Angel............ it hurts

DEATH STAR

Star Wars reference my beloved. Like many of these songs this has Fuck You God energy.

what you call the human race / expedite the judgement day / it’s your own damn head on that plate

vandalize what you create / ... / witness me resist your fate / it’s your own damn head on that plate

 GOODBYE TO ALL THAT

This song is a bop honestly 

When the lyrics were released a bunch of Sufjan fans contrasted Goodbye To All That’s here I am alone in my car / hopelessly infatuted / and I’m driving to wherever you are to Sufjan & Moses Sumney’s song, “Make Out in My Car”.

Yeah, I know, we’re all thinking of this:

Make Out in My Car is basically where Moses gave Sufjan a horny car guy chorus and told him to write the verses, and Sufjan proceeded to write the most liturgical shit ever (and we love him for it). ANYWAYS… Goodbye To All That also reminds me of Dean’s depression and the weirdness that started in 15x19 and goes into 15x20. For some reason he makes it seem more upbeat and happy than it is...

Despite this song being a bop, the lyrics are depressing. He’s alone in his car. He’s hopeless. He realizes it’s too late to have died a young man. 

He’s going to try to move on, even though nothing is left of him, he’s begging someone to turn around and show me his shadow.

He also references substance abuse again—

love me / and leave me / intoxicated

  SUGAR

The music video? Iconic. The mom of a family is making a pie, or she’s trying to. She ends up rubbing the filling all over her face, crushing the fruits, the oven catches on fire. 

But she does it! She makes the pie. 

Meanwhile the other family members are in their rooms, overindulging in sugar in all its forms. And then as she and her family eat around a dining table, occassionally being seemingly marrioetted by some unseen force, she looks angrily over her family, they all seem to kind of lose it, then the house starts to come apart until the chandelier falls on the dinner table. 

It’s the making pie + overindulgence in sugar + marionetted family metaphors for me ❤️ 

Ultimately, the song is about begging for affection, being desperate for domesticity, but you feel doomed, you feel like your defeat is predestined, that you can’t escape it.

You just don’t want to be heartbroken & you don’t want to be angry anymore!!!!

  THE ASCENSION

So you may be asking… does this guy get the domesticity he’s longing for?? Does he get his love back?? 

No. He dies. :/

The Ascension begins with just that. He’s dying.

THEN Sufjan decides to rhyme “confess” with “confess”, in two lines that mean almost opposite things:

When I am dead / and the light leaves my breast / nothing to be told / nothing to confess / let the record show / what I couldn’t quite confess

So does this guy have something to confess or not??? 👀

Moving on… 

He goes back to thinking about how his life was predestined all along, and now after all that, he’s dying. So he thinks about all the times he was kind of like this Mythological Icon. That he always had to be the one to show what was right, to lead by example. That that had been his entire identity. 

And he realizes he needs to answer for himself. 

Then he is frightened— realizing he was always asking what everything meant, what it all was for, but that all along he was just angry and depressed.

But even though he feels a like he should have just resigned himself to meaninglessness, that he only thought he could change the world for the better… it strengthened him to know the truth.

And even through the absolute shit of it all, and even though God & others did things from a place of so-called holiness and hopelessness...

He did everything out of love ❤️

So then he dies 🙃

AMERICA

So, as the end of The Ascension asked, what now? 

The album ends on this long track, which Sufjan describes as a protest against all that America has been and has become. 

It’s a protest against capitalism, of destroying humanity for the sake of some cold machinery. 

I have worshipped / I believed / I have broke your bread / for a splendor of machinery

And in true Sufjan fashion, he makes this song about protesting somehow both horny and religious, god bless

I have loved you / like a dream / I have kissed your lips / like a Judas in heat

I have worshipped / I have cried / I have put my hands in the wounds on your side / I have tasted of your blood / I have choked on the waters / I abated the flood / I am broken / I am beat / but I will find my way / like a Judas in heat

I am fortune / I am free / I’m like a fever of light / in the land of opportunity / don’t do to me / what you did to America / don’t do to me / what you do to yourself

  to finish out, here’s a DeanCas post by @eggcessive with lyrics from America ❤️ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY WEBWEAVING :)

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

[johnkrrasinski]

𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞

Chapter 4: Leaving Out the Side Door

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers (in future chapters) x Reader

Word Count: 2,325

Summary: Steve Rogers; a Hollywood A-lister and your clandestine occasional hookup. Best friends since childhood, but people change and friendships fall out. Now you were merely strangers with benefits. What happens when one day you stopped being his doormat to be a better man’s queen? The selfish Steve Rogers would not like it. How far is he willing to go to get his favorite possession back?

Warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, dark Steve (in later chapter), angst, Steve Rogers is an asshole in this one, no redeeming qualities. (MUST BE 18+)

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @belovedcherry​​​ who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for being a friend when i truly needed it. i’m really glad that you trusted me to write this story for you. with all my heart, i sincerely hope you like it. this series will be updated every day.

You were on your knees with your hands tied behind your back as he vigorously thrust into you. Your heartbeat pounded in your rib cage and you began to feel numb from the hours he had fucked you. Steve was relentless when he was chasing his own climax, greedily used you as a tool; giving zero fucks about your pleasure or your discomfort, to dump his load in.

Steve didn’t need to see your face or hear your consent. He could go on and on for hours and still not feel satisfied. One thing that you had learned from this being in this dead-end friends with benefits thing with Steve Rogers is that his stamina was relentless. And he wouldn’t think twice about getting what he needed whenever he needed it.

Steve impaled you as your face was squeezed into the pillow, you could hear the squelching noises from the ceaseless cycle of disposing his semen in you and then pushed it back in when he was ready for the next round. Your head began to feel dizzy and your visions turned hazy. You’d tell him to stop because you couldn’t take it anymore, but you knew you didn’t have any strength left in your body to do so.

So you ascended from your body and let him take the wheel; allowing him to go as fast as he wished. He kept hammering until he felt your cunt clenching around him and his cock pulsated, then the line blurred as the coil inside you burst, withering every nerve in your body.

“Ah, fuck.” He grunted. He stayed still inside you until he felt himself softening and then he retreated.

Steve unbound your wrists and he threw himself on the other side of the bed. You knew better than turning to his side and cuddle on his chest unwarranted. He always expected you to get up and get out of his house instantly because he either had another place to attend and didn’t want to see you still here when he comes home or he was ready for another hookup.

Every now and then, you’d let him use you to fulfil his needs and you’d volunteer in cleaning his apartment afterwards. Even after those countless nights where you weren’t the one who made a mess of his sheets.

Ever since that night in your dorm; the first time you were reborn into a blossomed woman and the first time Steve paved the way of traversing to the electric piquancy of venereal act for you, you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t stop letting him through your door or drive to his place at three in the morning just so he could let off some steam.

Every time you try to say no, he’d always pay you a visit unannounced. He’d paralyze you with his words and freeze you with his unchaste touches. “Shh, let me make you feel good, baby. You just gotta surrender yourself to me.”

You’d try to push him away but your brittle tenacity was unavailing. Fast forward to five years later, when you finally got your degree and life vagabondized to unexpected places, your sex life was still staying still in one spot.

You were recruited by National Institute of Mental Health as their project manager. You were possibly the youngest candidate to occupy this position but they were very impressed by your resume and your interview that they didn’t have any better choice than giving you the job.

You loved it, you excelled at what you do. Helping people and tending for their mental health was the aim of your life. You had a clear vision of how you were going to initiate a concept, plan a strategy and execute the plan. You respected your colleagues and vice versa. It was a suitable environment for you to work in and you enjoyed every minute of it.

Your best friend aka your former roommate, Natasha was your rock. You still talked to her everyday and she’d always text you in case she couldn’t call. You’d exchange stories about how your days went and she’d always send you pictures or videos of her adorable cat, Liho. It always carved a smile on your face.

The same goes for Wanda, although with her busy schedule of graduate school and supervised experience made things a little difficult for you to stay in touch, she still updated every nugatory detail of her life. You loved her and you missed her excruciatingly. You had driven to New Haven during some weekends to see her and spend time with her, but when the weekend was over, you had to return to New York because your job was waiting for you.

They were your two most endeared girls and you couldn’t wait for the day you finally introduce them to each other. Natasha and Wanda had said hi to each other a few times back when you were still living in the same dorm but, you really wanted to spend time with the two of them at the same time. They would totally click.

But if anyone asks you about your love life? Well, how could you explain something that was nonexistent?

Unless “friends” with benefit counts for something…

A bell on your apartment dinged and you reached for the door. A man in black with purple nuances uniform showed up with a package in his hands. “Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Here’s your delivery. Sign here please.” He handed you a piece of paper to draw your signature on and you accepted it without question, knowing full well it was another extravagant gift from Steve. Yep, that Steve.

The Steve Rogers.

A Brooklyn-born movie star of various blockbuster films, a remarkable singer and the face of Calvin Klein’s campaign this year… and Gucci Guilty’s last year.

The notorious womanizer but it was all good because he was the man. When you had starred alongside Leonardo DiCaprio and posed next to Oprah, who would give a shit if you never stopped playing the field, right?

And because he was The Steve Rogers, he could’ve spent his money on any lavish item and he could’ve put his dick wherever he wanted it. That included you, being the object of his wealthiness and his manliness.

How many times had you tried to reason with him when he constrained you to come over after a drunken hookup with a twenty-something model to clean up the mess and take out the trash? Perhaps just a few numbers exceeding the number of times he’d play the most charming man in the world only to forget your existence until he wanted you again.

So your feet innately transported you to your car, wearing the brand-new crimson red, bodycon dress with deep V-neck that displayed your cleavage, spaghetti straps baring your arms and a backless design that made you shiver due to the crisp air and drove to a place you had grown so accustomed to.

And this was the God knows how many times you were corrupted on his bed again. You had been so busy with your upcoming project that NIMH was ready to announce but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to resist the urge to come over to his place.

You stood on your wobbly feet, cleaned yourself up and see yourself out. Wouldn’t want to keep another mistress waiting in line…

Three weeks have passed since you last slept with Steve Rogers. Whispers on the streets chirped that he had been occupied with shooting a new film, erotic thriller slash mystery genre. Seems appropriate.

You yourself had been snowed under your work. The fundraiser event that NIMH was holding had been wearing you down but it was all worth it when the show was on. Negotiating with sponsorships, seeking donations and managing ticket sales were not easy, and it was all part of your responsibility because you were the boss, but you aced it anyway.

You were also responsible to hire professional entertainers and well, knowing that you got some connections to a well-known actor, of course, he was the first name on your list. But due to schedule conflicts, he couldn’t make it. It wasn’t a problem though, you still had a long list of names; film stars, movie producers, musicians, directors, moguls, etc.

You stood in your black sequin dress at the corner of the venue, inhaling all the sedulity and gumption you had invested in this event for the past couple of months. A part of you was secretly hoping that Steve would be here to see it, but you quickly eliminated those thoughts away.

9th-grade summer break. Upon the verdant hills overlooking the tranquil lake below; the moon’s faint glow ricochets on the water.

“What do you wanna be when you grow up, y/n?” his head reclined on his the palms of his hand, arms sprawled out like a butterfly’s wings.

“I wanna… Help people. My mom is a nurse and my whole life I watched her taking care of people she’d never met and I wanna have her big heart. I wanna do something that saves people.” you beheld the twinkling stars in the crepuscular sky, privily prayed that every word would come true.  

“You wanna be a nurse like her too?” His eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know… Maybe I’ll host a charity event or something and then I’ll use all the money for those who need it. It looks cool in the movies.”

“When I make it, I’ll come to your event and help raise the money too! People would be interested in giving money to celebrities, right?” the credence glinted in his eyes.

“But the money will not be for you, doofus.”

“Yeah, I know!” he chided. “I wouldn’t take a single cent even if I could. My mom taught me that if I were given the chance to put others first before me… I should and I will respect her legacy.”

You watched the host and your project leader, Tony Stark stood behind the acrylic podium and he greeted the crowd a good evening. He opened his speech, cajoling the guests with his words to share a little bit of their wealth as many as possible and closed it with a cordial adieu.

You made your way to one of the most respected guests; Benjamin Woods was sitting on the fifth table. Two times Oscar nominee and you were jittery to talk to him, but in this line of work, you were trained to be confident and act like one of the elites. So you weren’t going to freak out like an obsessive fan, you gotta keep it cool and classy. Plus, during the briefing, you were told to fraternize with as many of the guest as possible, persuade them to help us reach the goal.

You had your eyes set on the target until you bumped on a six-foot man, spilling the martini in his hand all over your dress. It caused a few heads turning but that was the last thing you cared about right now. “Shit!” you squawked.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry miss.” a British accent was hinted.

You grabbed a napkin from the nearest table to wipe away the stain but of course, it was futile. He offered a hand by saying “here, let me help.”

“No, no it’s fine, I’ll-” you looked up to see a handsome man with a pair of grey, slightly blue and green fused at the core. His dark brown hair matched the stubble covering his entire jaw and you were captivated by the work of art that was his face. Man, what a gorgeous creature. “…Manage.”

“I’m truly sorry, I must really stop reading through my emails while walking.”

“Don’t worry about it, sir. It happens.”

“Can I at least get you a drink? I’d feel really bad if I don’t do anything to compensate for my error.”

You averted your gaze from him to the person you really wanted to talk to but that could wait. You still got a few more hours to properly introduce yourself. “Yeah, why not?”

“Splendid.” You both walked toward the bar and sat on the stools. The next thing you knew, you had spent the last one hour talking and acquainting with this man. Apparently, he was the executive director of Filmmakers Without Borders where funding films and new media projects that aligned with themes of social justice, empowerment and cultural exchange was the prime focus of his job. He believed that if he could support ideas that would make the world a better place, he’d do it without a second thought.

He was also a big traveler. He loved seeing magical places in foreign countries, he was keen on exploring new cultures and learning new languages even if he could only recollect a few basic words. He claimed that he had traveled to nine countries in Asia and he planned to travel across Europe, his so-called home, once he had conquered the omnifarious continent.

And what enthralled your heart the most about him was that he was a proud father of two adorable dogs; a greyhound and a pomeranian and a benign Siberian cat. He spoke about them so fondly. He showed you pictures of them and he said that he’d love for you to meet them. Oh man, was that a subtle invitation to come over to his place soon in the future?

He was a real gentleman, courtesy and multifaceted were the proper words to describe this man, and you had only known him for one hour. Eventually, duty calls and you still had a role to play in this event, but before you could hop off the stool, he had asked you for your number and you gladly gave it to him. You had a feeling that this wasn’t farewell but rather, an incipience. The question is… What could it be of?

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 17: 3x07 Day of the Dove

I am incredibly discombobulated today—usual weekend nocturnal shenanigans I guess! Anyway it’s somehow midnight. Gonna try to write up these note on the Classic episode The Day of the Dove in as efficient a manner as possible.

Hmm, a planet with wavy pink Fraggle plants. I like it already.

But where is Spock? Very suspicious.

I really appreciate Kirk giving a little speech to set up the overall question/issue for us. (I know he does this all the time with the Captain’s logs but this is out loud and so… more obviously expository.)

Oh no, it’s our old friends…the Klingons.

I will admit that this ONE TIME, the Klingon is being reasonable. Like, it is reasonable to think that Kirk and the Enterprise attacked his ship, given that his hip WAS attacked, and who else would it be?

Three years of peace between the Klingons and the Federation? That is inclusive of the show so all this tension must technically be “peace” and also implies there was something more like a direct war going on, like, right before Kirk got the captaincy.

Zoolander voice: What is this, a colony of the INVISIBLE?

“We have no devil. But we understand the habits of yours.”

No takers? No takers on the torture? No volunteers to be mercilessly tortured by the Klingons?

Star Trek Beyond could have had Kirk and Chekov bond over being brothers! I mean, to other people.

They’ll kill 100 hostages at the first sign of treachery. He does know there are only 400-some people on the ship right? Maybe you should pace yourself, Kang.

Kirk’s so badass he needs MULTIPLE guns trained on him just to use the phone.

Oh-ho secret message to Spock. Which version of the iPhone will be capable of doing THAT?

The Klingons are “suspended in transit” is an awfully nice way of saying they’re just dematerialized atoms in space. Philosophy major and/or Bones nightmare fuel.

How did Kang not see this coming, by the way? Like, he just says “I’m taking your ship now, me and my 6 men versus your 400-some men, and I’ll do this by simply declaring it to be so. Now let’s beam up to your ship, where I’ll be greatly outnumbered, and there are armed security guards all around me.” Guess he’s been reading The Secret!

WIFE AND SCIENCE OFFICER

Aka the most important part of this whole episode.

Kirk’s face is very ?????? You can have both????

It’s legitimately not even important for her to be the science officer tbqh. Like that is so gratuitous. That’s just in there to drive me insane.

"We're prisoners, somehow, after I demanded to come on the ship, assuming they'd just give it to me without any kind of fight. How DID this happen?”

Federation death camps lol—someone’s been watching Fox News.

I do kind of wonder… is this an actual rumor that goes around the Klingon homeworld or is it something that the alien entity put in her head specifically to make her angrier right now? I mean it really could be either.

I also appreciate this episode for being pretty much the only one to actually attempt to give the Klingons a reason for being as they are. The Romulans… maybe aren’t well-described, but they do have a sort of regalness to them, appropriate for being related to Vulcans, and you can kind of imagine that they are the way they are because they’re Vulcans without the intense self-control. Plus they’re literally only in 2 TOS eps and in the second, the Federation are the aggressors. But the Klingons show up a half-dozen times only to be depicted each time as just like Cartoonishly Bad, aggressive, violent, and selfish for basically no reason. And I mean, some people really are!! But TOS has so much nuance in other places, that it always seemed a little disappointing to me that the Klingons are really just like ‘well we’re just bad and we hate everyone and we really like killing I guess.” At least in this ep there’s a little more added to that: that there is poverty on their world, that they feel aggrieved, that they feel unprotected, that taking and conquering is how they look after themselves…

I think that’s later in the episode though.

He’s detaining them in the LOUNGE lol. With their favorite dishes available to them to eat. Absolutely barbarous conditions.

I can’t believe Chekov is hanging in the elevator with the cool kids. Like, one of these things really isn’t like the others.

Kang is officially sure of himself for someone currently imprisoned in the lounge, that most fearsome of Federation death camps.

Hmm, could the glittery light alien have taken over??

You know what, that's a lot of tasks for Johnson to do all by himself: search the whole ship, fix the engines, and free 400 people.

Sulu would love this: everyone gets a sword!!

“Bridge. I gotta show this to Sulu immediately.”

Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. That’s interesting. Finally some characterization going on.

Spock is really living up to his logical nature today. Everyone else has gone off the emotional deep end and he’s like “have you considered this completely rational explanation that accounts for the actual, observed facts??”

Whoops Chekov is actually an only child. Scratch that previous Beyond headcanon. (Interesting that his dead brother does really resemble Sam though—killed on a research colony??)

Love that Sulu knows that about him though.

Oh, that’s a pretty schematic picture of the Enterprise. I want that on a t-shirt.

Lol the pan out to the armory, now filled with… swords!!

Do ALL of these men have a fetish for swords? Sulu and fencing, Spock displaying swords in his quarters, and Kirk in his San Francisco apartment, and Scotty salivating over this Scottish blade.

“Klingon units.”

Finally Sulu gets his sword! It’s what he deserves.

Love that the shiny light alien also has a fetish for swords.

Oh no, it’s our old adversary, an alien life force.

What is the alien’s purpose? Um, I’m pretty sure its purpose is to start shit.

“An appropriate choice of terms, Captain.” I don’t even remember what this is referring to but I think it’s pretty clear that Spock is enjoying himself during a crisis again.

Bones, being so dramatic. Were there atrocities? He’s talking about the Klingons as if they were literally hacking off limbs—it’s a few stab wounds here and there, chill.

Oooh, time to behave like military men—strong words. (But I thought it wasn’t the military?? @ S**** P****) (This might not even be my best argument, given the context of this episode, but I’m sticking with it.)

This is like a giant game of capture the flag.

AU that’s just about the Enterprise crew playing capture the flag with the Klingons.

Sulu in the background standing guard with his sword

Damn, turning on Spock with the slurs now!!

Spock was absolutely ready to kill him. Like he would 100% have taken him out with a blow to the head. And he’d been doing such a good job of not feeling the alien’s effects so far! Admittedly, that was a strong provocation though.

Honestly, I really like this scene. It’s uncomfortable and tense and you can really see how the alien is bringing out the worst possible influences of their respective races. And I liked how Spock was definitely full on pre-Reform Vulcan for a minute there. It was a more effective portrayal of what that might have looked like than All Our Yesterdays tbqh.

A result of… stress?

Kirk got himself out of it first. He’s so strong. He knows himself so well, he cannot be outsmarted by any alien.

“We’ve been taught to think in terms other than war.”

“The alien brings out the worst of us—patriotic drumbeating…even race hatred.”

He’s so sad; he can’t imagine thinking like that about Spock :(

Sulu in a Jeffries tube! A man of many talents. It’s okay bb, take credit for turning on the lights.

The alien must have been getting bored. The Klingons must have been doing too well, and the playing field needs to be leveled for maximum shit-stirring.

“Let’s find that alien.” That’s how I ALWAYS feel.

Oh, Kang, you’re so close—“What power supports our battle but thwarts our victory.” So, so close to getting it.

ALIEN DETECTED.

Spock takes his sword, of course.

“Jim.” Obligatory Jim moments hit differently when they’re not so obligatory.

“Jim—stop hitting my protégé. And put that sword down.”

Kirk looks so sad, picking Chekov up to carry him bridal style.

Also in addition to ‘race hatred’ I think we need to add ‘rape-y tendances’ to the bad stuff that the alien is inspiring here.

“A brief surge of racial bigotry. Most distasteful.” Spock winning for understatement of the year.

They're assuming the alien is trying to test out their relative powers but I think it just wants entertainment. I mean, doesn’t it look like a naughty little thing?

Mara’s outfit is… little shorts? Interesting. Usually not my style but she makes it work.

Spock doesn’t even look at Johnson as he falls lol. Another one bites the dust.

“It exists on the hate of others.”

What does this remind me of? Oh, the Vast of Night and the whole “aliens made us do every bad thing ever” conspiracy theory. At least this one makes more sense, in part because it is not quite so overwhelmingly broad!

All hostile attitudes must be eliminated, he says, and there's Mara right behind Kirk giving him a death stare lol.

Kang is so obviously posing. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

Only a few minutes before drifting forever in space becomes inevitable? Good thing Kirk works well under pressure.

“Well… do whatever you can, Scotty. You know the drill.” Doesn’t even bother giving real directions anymore. We’ve been in this scenario before.

“So we drift in space, with only hatred and bloodshed aboard.”

And the 392 people below just get to…live in Enterprise prison, I guess.

Star date: Armageddon. So dramatic!

I’m not even making that up; that’s an actual quote. Can you imagine being an Admiral listening to this?

“Stop the war now.” An actual line, really aired on television.

Spock wants to threaten the wife lol. That's the old pre-Reform Vulcan seeping through. Surak who?

Damn, Kang is cold. “Eh, she gets the concept of being killed in battle.” They’re gonna need marriage counseling after this.

“There is another way. Mutual trust and help.” Yes that’s my hero!!

“No one can guarantee the actions of another.” Can’t remember the context of this entirely anymore, but great line.

The entity is loving this—multi-person choreographed sword fight!!

"Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. otherwise it is not stopped.” Another baller line. Spock has a lot of deep thoughts today. And so does Kirk. And Kang.

Kirk tries to reason with the alien. Nice try.

“Shoo. Shoo, alien. Off the ship, go away.”

Omg that last moment—Kang slapping Kirk’s back way too hard, Spock’s completely ridiculous wide-eyed expression when he does, like some sort of combo of amusement and confusion, and then Sulu just passing on by in the background….

Then the alien just yeets itself into space. And that’s the end!

Always feels weird when there’s no wrap up on the bridge.

Also, what are they going to do with the Klingons? They have no ship. They really did come out of this a lot worse than Kirk and co. No ship, huge casualties—and no one to blame even, but the alien.

I feel like the alien messed up a little in killing so many Klingons. Like, it could have accomplished its purpose, angering the Klingons and turning them on Kirk, by attacking the ship a little less violently—you know they’d react to 5 deaths pretty much the same as 400, and then there would be many more people to fight forever and produce that sweet sweet anger!

Maybe the alien’s powers aren’t strong enough to influence 800 people though. Also it wants equal forces and 800 people wouldn’t fit on the Enterprise, one assumes. So it still makes sense.

That was, of course, an excellent episode. 100% agree with is classic status, even though the main things I remembered going in were the wife + science officer bit, and everyone laughing at the end in a really forced, fake way, in order to make the alien go away.

I thought the Klingons were a lot better/more interesting today than usual. First, I think Kang is a better character, or a better actor maybe, than the others; he has a certain way about him that is… more watchable, more sympathetic. And he’s always saying these really dramatic things that make it seem likely he writes patriotic Klingon war poetry in his off time. Also, including his wife made them seem more… not human obviously, but normal. Not just cardboard cut-out villains. And of course the actual lightly specific motivations I earlier mentioned helped too.

Also, the plotting was very good: it built up slowly but surely over time, so at first the alien’s influence wasn’t that obvious, and then it became more so, and then it became horrifically obvious and extreme. And then you had to re-evaluate earlier moments: was that the alien changing facts in their heads, or a real part of the animosity between humans and Klingons? And it wasn’t always clear, which I appreciated. The tension when the people were at their worst wasn’t overdone, like in that moment with Scotty, Spock, and Kirk—or even in Chekov’s assault on Mara, tbh. The various strategies of the different sides were very entertaining too; there was never a dull moment, and they fit in a lot of straight-up actions and twists into 50 minutes.

The possible threat was truly terrifying, also: stuck in a space ship, forever, unable to die, feeling the worst possible emotions all the time, besieged, angered, despairing, fighting a war that can’t be won, being injured and suffering only to recover and fight again, and it never stops… A perfect nightmare mixture of insanity and violence and pain. And the alien, in encouraging hatred and anger, doesn’t discriminate between sides: they turn on each other just as much as on the Klingons, breeding paranoia and infighting. For eternity.

The episode also felt much more strongly anti-war than I remember tbh. Like it was not subtle. Kirk literally says “stop the war” in so many words. He has a part in his speech where he talks about the possibility of other aliens out there, encouraging other wars. And while I do think “maybe the aliens are making us do it” is a cop out explanation, or would be if it were real, the scenario gave the show a lot of room to say, like, pretty ballsy things: to include “patriotic drum beating” along with “race hatred” in a list of corrupting feelings they were experiencing; to show how the same instincts that lead to warring also lead to sexual assault and the aforementioned ‘race hatred;” to reveal the true horror of an endless war by making the participants unkillable and sticking them in a singular space ship in the middle of nowhere; to imply that the combatants of war gain nothing from it, but outside or third-party entities will pull strings of their own design to profit from the conflict as long as possible; even to make an impassioned plea to camera to stop the endlessness of the conflict. Like I can’t even totally unpack this but it is a lot!

Finally, it was also a great Kirk episode, which of course is my most important factor. He’s smart; he’s strong; he’s so sure of himself and his values that he cannot be manipulated to mindless hatred, he represents the values of the Federation, and the show itself; he treats even his enemies with basic respect and humanity; and ultimately, he saves the day.

Okay I was not efficient in writing this up at all! It is very late!!

[thekidultlife]

#5 On the Desk | 30 Nights with Lee Jihoon

30 Nights with Lee Jihoon

Genre: Smut

Words: 1.9k

(A/N: This is for the horny side of tumblr. Minors please do not engage in this sort of content!! Btw, always use protection folks)

“So? What did you call me here for?”

Your voice echoed across the huge office, filled with nothing but irritation for a single man, sitting comfortably on his chair, looking at you with a glare of his own.

“…Lee Jihoon?”

It was no secret that the both of you shared some sort of rivalry. He was the CEO of a prominent entertainment company in South Korea—the fiercest competitor of your own entertainment company. Whatever artist or concept you release, he will surpass with his own, and the cycle goes on and on; leaving the both of you irritated at each other.

Irritated…but not exactly.

“You look like you don’t want to be here,” Jihoon simply remarked, brushing his fingers through his hair as he leaned back on his chair.

You rolled your eyes at him.

“And why would I want to be?” you asked, and then turned to the door, threatening to leave, “If you have nothing to say after all, I’m leaving.”

“Your saying that after all the nights we spent together?” he asked, smirking as he stood up from his seat and walked towards you. “You’re so cruel, YN.”

You didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. It irritated you how he can easily see through all your layers of pride and stubbornness, after all the effort you made to try and hide your desires. But that doesn’t make him any different.

“Jihoon…” you muttered, warning him if he dares to come closer as he circled in behind you. If he ever did, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to resist him. Not when he looks incredibly handsome in his suit.

Yet he only made a smug grin, as he trapped you between him and the large desk, unable to escape. It was unfair that he could easily make you yearn for him like this; looking as if he was unbothered by everything.

“It’s still office hours, Jihoon…” you reminded him, once again trying to put a stop to this before it could lead into something else. “We can’t…”

“Are you teasing me now?” he asked, his dark eyes piercing through yours as he drew in closer. He hasn’t touched you, yet you felt your heart beating so dramatically against your chest. “Do you have any idea how impatient I feel waiting for night to come by?”

This is what you disliked about Lee Jihoon. He claims to be awkward with women yet for some reason, he just knows what to say to make your heart beat faster. It was unfair, truly unfair for you to have met Lee Jihoon. Now that you had a taste, you couldn’t get enough of him.

“Fine,” you finally said, placing your arms around his shoulders and then grinned. “But make it good.”

 Jihoon himself couldn’t get enough of you. He was addicted at how he would slowly pry your façade apart, making you give into his whims or yours, even how much you denied it. He loves how you would never give in immediately, and then revels at your consent as if it was some sort of reward he had won.

Raising an elegant brow at you, he slowly smirked. “Are you challenging me?”

Before you could reply, Jihoon hoisted you up the desk in one heave, making you yelp. His hands however, never left your thighs as he slowly eased them up to the hem of your skirt.

“Jihoon…I—”

“Getting excited now, aren’t we?” he asked, still grinning, making you avert your gaze to the side, unable to meet his eyes in embarrassment as he continued to glide his hands on your skin, teasing you as always.

“I’m not…!”

He hummed.

“That’s what you always say yet…”

Jihoon’s hand slid to your inner thigh, his eyes never leaving yours. “…why are you…already wet down here?”

You could feel his fingertips, touching you in your most intimate places, unable to think straight any longer.

“Wait…that’s…! Ah!”

In the most unexpected moment, he pressed on to your clit, making you gasp out loud, not slowing down his assault. He drank up the sensation of having you make such a sensual look on your face, making his lips break into a wider grin.

“Ah…this won’t do, YN,” Jihoon remarked, removing his hand from your clit, which he instead used to grab a fistful of your hair as he settled between your legs. “You’re making me want to eat you up.”

There was no excuse for this. You loved it, the way he suddenly crashed his lips on yours, devouring your lips, your tongue in a heated kiss. It was making you delirious with the amount of pleasure bombarding your senses as Jihoon took pleasure in kissing down your neck, leaving visible marks on your skin.

“Jihoon…wait…someone will—”

“See them?” he smirked, looking up from his place, nestled between your unbuttoned shirt and bare chest. “But that’s the point. I want them to know you’re mine.”

You frowned at this, annoyed at his cheekiness. “Nnm…! You little—"

“I’ll let you give me one later tonight,” he interrupted, his tongue already stimulating your nipple as he groped the other. “Besides, I’m tired of hiding this anyway.”

You knew there was something more behind his words, something that meant more than what was actually said. Yet before you could ask, Jihoon was already on his knees, glancing at you with a mischievous look between your legs.

“H-Hey, what are you…!”

“The office is sound-proof,” he suddenly informed you, grinning. “You can scream to your heart’s content.”

“W-wait, does that mean….!! A-ahh!”

Without even waiting, Jihoon slid your underwear aside and pushed his tongue between your already drenched folds, wreaking havoc between your legs. You had no choice but to drown into pleasure, squirming and moaning as he wrapped his arms around your legs to hold you down.

“Jihoon…Jihoon…I can’t—”

You squealed once more when he inserted two fingers into your hole as he played with your clit aggressively. Jihoon had to admit it was such a pleasure to see you being a moaning mess—you who is always calm and collected at all times.

“N-No…I’m…I’m coming, Jihoon…! Ahhh—t-too good…”

With a final flick on your clit, you descended down to your orgasm in violent twitches and loud screams—your mind going blank from the sheer pleasure of his hands and tongue.

You were still recovering from your high when Jihoon finally stood up and wiped his chin wet with your own fluids. It was kind of hot, seeing him in his best suit after he had just eaten you out to the point of climax.

“Did you like that?” he asked, as he pinned you down the desk once more, his dark locks tickling your forehead.

“Jihoon…” was what you could only say as you continued to pant heavily, gazing at him with sultry eyes, begging for something.

He grinned, knowing fully well what you wanted. “Not enough, huh? I could say the same thing myself.”

With another deep kiss and a lot of tongue, Jihoon undid his belt and loosened his pants with such speed, you hardly noticed it actually happened. The moment you realized what was happening was when you could feel his cock grinding against your slit, and when he finally spoke again.

“I’m going in now, so look at me while I do it,” he said, his eyes gazing at you so intensely, you could feel the heat radiate from them. “I wanna see your face.”

“Y-yes….!”

Arms wrapped around his shoulders, you braced yourself as he entered you slowly, adjusting to his size even when you’re already so slippery. You could feel him, his hard cock warming you up inside, which made you moan in pleasure.

 “M-move….move now, p-please!” You pleaded; eyes half-lidded as you gazed into Jihoon’s eyes.

“…And what if I don’t?” he replied back, the lilt in his voice proof that he was teasing you. “You still feel so good wrapped around me.”

“J-Jihoon…I just…please…I need…” You continued, moving your hips on your own to get some sort of friction.

“Need what, YN? Wanna tell me what it is?”

Here he was again feigning innocence when you both knew he was only egging you on to say such embarrassing things, but it was already too late into the game to be stubborn.

“I want it…I want you to fuck me...Jihoon! I can’t… a-anymore…please fuck me hard…sir.”

For you to be saying such lewd words turned Jihoon on to no end. He grinned at you as he pushed himself deeper into you, earning a high-pitched moan.

“You’re so good at this, aren’t you YN?” he finally replied, as he stood up straight and held you tightly on your hips. “Fine then. I’ll fuck you hard.”

Pulling back, Jihoon made a sharp thrust deep into you; groaning as he felt you tighten up around him. After that, he began to pound into you in such a rough pace that you couldn’t even form coherent thoughts inside you head. All you could see, hear and feel was Jihoon, fucking you so intensely as you moaned in ecstasy.

“A-ah…would you look at that…” he began as he draped your leg over his shoulder to gain better access. “YN…the admirable CEO of XX Entertainment being fucked so thoroughly in my office desk. Ever wonder what people would say if they knew we had this kind of relationship?”

“J-Ji…hoon…! T-that’s—”

“Something forbidden…unimaginable…yet…It’s exciting, isn’t it…?” Jihoon whispered as he bent to your ear. “I can feel you…ahhh…you’re tightening up…You like that, don’t you?”

“I can feel you…so much, J-Jihoon…! Please hold me…I’m close…” you huffed between breaths as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly, rubbing at the right places where you could feel the most of him. “I’m…! Jihoon…!”

In a heartbeat, Jihoon bent down and nestled himself on your neck, his pace beginning to become erratic.

“Shit…! I’m gonna cum, YN…should I—”

“N-no…ahh! It’s…it’s ok inside…I’m in birth control…”

Your head was turning blank, the hairs on your back tingling as you felt electric shocks coursing through your sweat-covered skin. Sex with Jihoon was always amazing, especially when he would push you to the brink of pleasure that was toe curling and mind-numbing.

“Alright…fuck…! I’m cumming…Y/N…!”

With a few sharp thrusts, Jihoon pushed deep as he spilled himself inside of you, driving you to your own climax as you felt his warmth spread. It was a sensation you were always so desperate for—the bliss of falling into orgasm while he was deep inside of you, still twitching and cumming.

“Jihoon…” you whimpered, loving the way he kissed your neck, then your cheek before he turned to gaze into your eyes.

“I mean what I say when I don’t want to hide this anymore,” he began, earning a surprised look from you.

“What…do you mean…? Are you saying that we…”

“Yeah,” Jihoon answered you immediately, his eyes hiding nothing. “I want to be with you. Officially.”  

As soon as you understood the meaning of his words, you made a bright smile at him and took the chance to peck on his lips.

“What a way to ask for a date, Lee Jihoon. You know that I won’t refuse you.”

“Good that we finally had something we could agree with.”

With that said, Jihoon stood up and pulled out of you, you made a dismayed tone at the sudden feeling of emptiness. Yet when his cum started dripping, you flushed at the realization of what you just did and immediately closed your legs.

In front of you, you could hear Jihoon chuckling as he tidied himself up.

“W-what…?” you asked, your brows furrowing now that your back to your usual personality.

“Oh I was just thinking…” Jihoon replied, his voice teasing.

“Since it’s already half past office hours, let’s have fun tonight in my apartment.”

-Hyeri

30 Nights with Lee Jihoon

[katies3pticeye]

Closer

It was a simple task. It should have been easy at this rate. For one, Chase had gone to the store to buy props for his videos several times. The only times he didn’t was when Jack let him borrow something, but for the most part, he visited this shop a ton- probably more than anyone else had in their lives. All the things he needed were there: nerf guns, bullets, things to shoot trick-shots in… it was all located right there- in that simple store.

That’s actually where he met Jack the first time. No wonder he always went to that specific one. There were so many memories there. So many… happy memories.

However, today, it was hard for him to get out of bed. He wasn’t awoken by his son and daughter playing on their switches in the living room. He wasn’t awoken by Stacy getting out of bed, going to make herself some coffee before her 9-to-5 job.

They were all at her sister’s this weekend.

Also, to be honest… he felt so lonely. It was like he was suffocating within the house’s walls. Waking up to a house filled with nothing was… demotivating to say the least.

No texts from Jack saying, “Good morning.” Those might’ve been Jack’s last words to Chase, actually. “Hope you’re having a good day.” “Hope Anti isn’t getting to you.” “Stacy being any nicer?”

Just straight up- nothing.

Jack fell into a coma.

This was the fact that… really, no ego knew how to deal with: especially Chase. Schneep buried himself into his work, JJ worked on more silent movies… Jackie ran around with the ability to save lives, which Chase really admired, but he wished Jackie managed to save Jack. It was understandable, though. Anti was a too-powerful force to fight alone. Marvin worked on some new stone formula he was rambling about. “A way to save Jack,” whatever.

Jack was in a coma. He probably wouldn’t make it out alive. That was that.

It was probably pessimistic of him to figure that, but when you’re in Chase’s shoes, what else could you think at this moment? Maybe Schneep shouldn’t ha- too far, Chase. Too far.

He looked down at the table in the foyer. The room had no lights on; the natural lighting of the day pierced through the windows, brightening up the room as much as it needed. Chase noticed his hat resting on its surface. Normally, he’d put it on. It was how the public told him apart from the other egos. Hat and gun. Chase.

He walked out of the house, not even touching it. No regrets- part of Chase didn’t feel deserving of the title. “Jacksepticeye ego.” Such a strange concept. The fact that he was close enough to him to be called that. Jack was such an amazing friend to him. Chase knew he didn’t deserve that.

He got in his car and drove over to the store. The shop was filled with memories and flashbacks. Would this be a good idea? Honestly, probably not. When Chase got out of the car, he knew it was strange. The whole feeling surrounding this place… it changed.

It was almost like he was seeing the place for the first time. Its darker equivalent- filled with past memories which, honestly, filled him with more sadness than remembrance.

It was a weird deja vu. Jack and him haven’t been to the store together in awhile, so it wasn’t like it was a daily routine. It just seemed so strange to be here without him right now. It was so weird…

“Hey, Jack!”

Chase’s eyes flew open and looked behind him, only to see a kid- maybe about age nine- running up to him while smiling.

“Jack, Jack, Jack! That video yesterday was so cool!” The girl laughed, glancing at Chase. That’s when he realized it. He left the hat at home.

This girl thought that he was Jack.

“The amount of editing to make Anti seem realistic? That must’ve been really challenging! Tell Robin I told him that he did a great job, will you?”

He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t editing at all. He wanted to say that Jack actually sliced his neck; that he was in a coma. However, he couldn’t bare to tell the truth to this little girl. She’s too young and optimistic to have her joy taken down like that.

So with a shaky breath, Chase responded, “Oh, yeah. I- I will! J- I was- uh… I was-“ Chase exhaled to calm himself, trying not to let his emotions surface before continuing. “I was really proud of him.”

“Are you okay, Jack?” The girl asked, looking at him with a confused expression.

“Yep! Never been better,” Chase said rather quickly, giving her the best smile he possibly could, though it was obviously pained. Whether the girl realized that or not was up to how smart she was.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you in your next upload! Can’t wait for today’s one!”

And then the girl left.

There was one thing for certain. Chase didn’t know what to do.

Okay, look- Jack was in a coma! No one- not even one subscriber- would get a post coming from Jack in years. Maybe never! Was he supposed to crush all of these people’s dreams like this? Their dreams of finally meeting Jack at that one VidCon meet and greet? Their dreams of finding out what happens to these “characters”?

Chase went back in his car, not even bothering to go to go into the store. He turned it on, and once he did, he dialed one of the closest friends he had: Schneep. Honestly, Chase was kind of surprised once he picked up. Henrik’s usually really busy at the ER.

“Hey, Henrik,” Chase said, putting the phone against his ear as he started driving away from the store.

“You don’t usually call- it’s usually just a text,” Henrik replied, his voice actually sounding kind of concerned on the other side of the line. Maybe it’s because of a patient, or maybe it’s because of the fact that Jack fell into a coma yesterday. Who knows? “Are you okay?”

“I’m f-“ Chase stopped in the middle of his sentence, honestly not knowing if he should’ve said the typical ‘fine’ response or not. Everyone was dealing with Jack’s death right now. He might as well be honest, right? “I- well, this person at the prop shop Jack and I used to go to for everything? They recognized me, but- but they thought I was Jack.”

“Chase, this is why you’re supposed to go with the hat on! Didn’t we all have this meeting earlier? Marvin goes in the mask, JJ wears hi-“

“I know!”

Henrik stopped his ramble when Chase spoke, but after a few seconds of silence passed, he started talking again. “Then why did you go without it?”

“Because I-“ Chase sighed, glancing out at the street in front of him. “Because I didn’t feel like I deserved it.”

“Chase, you know that’s not true,” Henrik said, his voice, once again, filled with the original concern.

“We can leave that up to negotiation, but look, that fan who thought I was Jack? She was so excited to see him again today, and I- and… I don’t know,” Chase replied. “I just… feel like I could do something about it?”

A few moments of silence passed before Henrik spoke up. “What are you thinking of doing, Chase? Jack- he isn’t waking up for a long time. You and I both know that.”

“We have to do something on his channel. Something everyone will love- something us characters can do for him,” Chase started, his mind scrambling through a ton of different ideas all at once. “Get all of the egos to Jack’s house- except Anti, obviously. We all have a key. We can plan this out together.”

“Chase, we can’t tell the world that he’s-“

“Get them all together,” Chase interrupted, showing Henrik that he’s dedicated to this. He wasn’t going to let Jack’s channel sit and rot until he woke up. They had to do something. “...please.”

There was a pause that seemed like an eternity towards the man driving the car, but soon, Henrik finally replied. “Alright. Okay- we’ll do it. I just finished my work anyway.”

“Thanks, Henrik,” Chase said, glad that he accepted the idea in the end.

“You’re welcome.”

~

And that’s why all of the egos were sitting around the living room, obviously confused about what Chase was planning. Honestly, Chase didn’t even know what he was doing himself. “Look, all I know is that we can’t leave Jack’s channel empty while he’s in a coma.”

Jameson was sitting in a chair towards the corner of the room. Henrik and Jackie sat next to each other on the couch while Marvin leaned against the wall. Chase was pacing around the room, glancing at the egos every now and then in hope to see some type of spark fly in their eyes.

“Don’t you guys get it? Jack needs us to be there for him, even if he physically can’t respond to us anymore,” Chase started, stopping his movement and standing in front of the TV so everyone could clearly see him. “If we leave his channel alone, all of his subscribers are going to think he vanished into thin air!”

“That’s exactly what he did,” Marvin said, his arms crossed as he looked over at Chase. “He’s gone. Whether the fans realize that or not is up to them. Whether they think Anti was a character or not? Up to them.”

“Not to be mean or anything, but what would we do about it anyways?” Jackie asked. “I’d be down to do skits or whatever for a bit, but people would catch on eventually. They’d start asking where the gameplay videos are.”

“Then we make gameplay videos, and we don’t show the fact that we’re characters,” Chase suggested, trying to think of a solution to that.

Jameson looked over at Chase before signing. “Chase, I can’t speak, so.”

“Then we- I don’t know,” Chase sighed.

“We have to leave it up to those conspiracy theorists,” Marvin shrugged. “We don’t have another option. If we start uploading, Anti’s only going to get more upset. His ‘puppets are taking over the channel’ type of deal. Been ‘watching the puppets.’ That shit.”

“Someone’s got to have some faith in this idea, right?” Chase asked, glancing at everyone. “We can’t let them suffer in the unknown!”

“The unknown is the only option,” Jackie said, feeling a little bad that he was arguing against the almost-desperate Chase, but from where he stood, it seemed like the best choice.

“Everyone fears the unknown, and the darkest theories will always be death,” Henrik added, finally speaking throughout this entire conversation. “Look, I’ve made my mistakes, but I know that Jack wouldn’t want to be the ‘YouTuber who disappeared for four years because he actually almost died.’ I don’t think his fans want that legacy either. Honestly, I think Chase is onto something. We just have to think about what to do.”

There were a few moments of silence before Jackie spoke up. “So if this crazy, insane idea works- we’ll all be seen as Jack? Even though we have different accents and personalities? We’d just be… making a fake identity of ourselves on the screen? Faking as our friend?”

Jameson looked over at Jackie and started signing. “At least you have an accent.” They both smiled a little bit, knowing that it was just a joke.

“We can’t all fake as Jack,” Henrik said, glancing over at Jackie. “It has to be one of us. One of us that will be able to showcase Jack the most. Someone who knows how to work YouTube- someone who’s energetic and-“

“I’ll do it,” Chase interrupted, raising his hand as he did to show that his decision was final. “I came up with the idea. We know damn well that some of you don’t even understand technology. The fact that I was falsely recognized as Jack already shows that I might be able to pull it off.”

“But then that’s two channels- Chase, are you sure?” Henrik asked.

“Look- we’re all busy. JJ has to work on his silent movies, Jackie has to save lives, Marvin has to work on the stone- hell, even you, Henrik, are diving even deeper into your massive workload,” Chase replied, looking over at him. “Just take this as my fair share. I’m the YouTube guy.”

“And you get to steal all of Jack’s money from ad revenue.” Jackie smirked, laughing a little.

“Jackie, no,” Marvin sighed, rolling his eyes playfully.

“So… you sure you’re okay with it?” Henrik questioned, knowing that adding another channel’s weight on Chase’s load of shit would probably take a toll on him.

He just nodded, though- accepting his fate. “Again, I came up with the idea. You couldn’t do it, Schneep, your accent isn’t like Jack’s at all. JJ, you literally can’t talk. Marvin, you’re busy saving Jack’s life with that stone thing. I guess Jackie is the best second option, but it’s hard to get him in front of a camera without being in a red spandex.”

“Hey!” Jackie frowned, crossing his arms.

“Kidding, kidding,” Chase chuckled. “But I know I’m probably the most qualified to take over his spot, so I’ll take it.”

“Alright,” Henrik sighed, looking over at him. “If you ever need a break day, Jackie could probably take your place for that, y’know.”

“I’ve wanted to play South Park anyways.” Jackie smiled.

“Thanks, guys, but I’ll be okay,” Chase replied, glancing at everyone. “I can manage.”

~

Famous last words.

It was weird acting as Jack, but he finished up a good month of videos. Only a couple of odd notices happened in public, so that was good for Chase at least. Two channels were starting to take their toll on him, though.

He was at Jack’s house for most of the time, but he decided to go back to his house for one of the break days Henrik mentioned back then- for Jackie to take over. Chase was honestly really thankful for that excuse because Jackie really wanted to play South Park, and he was starting to get annoyed that Chase was “hogging” the channel.

Anyway, when Chase got home, he walked through the front door, and somehow… the lights didn’t work. They wouldn’t turn on. Strange.

He saw on the table a lighter and a candle, almost like someone put them there. The hat wasn’t resting in its place anymore; it was gone somehow. Chase lit a candle and used it as his flashlight throughout the house. When he heard his children, he got even more nervous, so he started being a bit more cautious but hectic at the same time.

That’s when he saw him.

Anti.

He was standing at the end of the hallway, and Chase would be lying if he didn’t say that he was scared shitless. “Who’s there?” Anti just turned around, knowing damn well that he knew who he was. His eye lit green, causing Chase’s expression to grow even more panicked.

He remembered his children from before, so he couldn’t help but ask the next question. “Where are they?” Once he saw Anti not even twitch, he yelled out another. “What do you want from me?!”

And then he came closer.