#anyway on my way back the bus stops at a different corner than im standing so i gotta run again.

[unganseylike]

shoutout to the not one not two but three bus drivers this afternoon who watched me full on run after them. and then get on without paying.

[h3rmitsunited]

listening to the amazing devil like

i am walking down the sidewalk in a city and i turn a corner and am enveloped in silence and warmth. the sounds of the city fade away, the smell of asphalt and exhaust is replaced with petrichor and dirt and trees, and the sidewalk becomes cracked, the gaps filled with growing plant life. the buildings are abandoned and silent and i don't hear anyone around but something tells me im not alone here. but im not afraid. whatever the other beings are, i feel like they're here for the reason i am too.

i keep walking and the quiet sidewalk leads me to a bus stop. there's a bus waiting. there is no driver, no other passengers, but i get on anyways. 

i get off the bus. i don't remember it moving, but when i get off, i'm in a different place, deeper in the quiet ruin of this abandoned part of the city. i don't recognize anything, but it feels safe. trees are growing through windows of the buildings, large sections of wall are crumbled and cracked. nature is taking back its place here in a way that feels right, feels balanced.

i feel the press of a soft hand in mine, the cool hardness of metal in my palm, and i turn and look and there is nobody there, but now a small silver key is between my fingers.

somehow i know what it goes to.

i walk.

down what is left of the dirty cracked sidewalk.

past the shattered windows.

down the quiet of the streets.

turning corners i've never been on before until i find what i am looking for. what we all are.

it's there, nothing special. most people wouldn't notice if they walked past it. one abandoned building among all the rest, but this one is mine. it's ours. 

a record store, the sign long since faded, windows broken just like the other buildings, plants creeping down the walls. the door is locked, but i have the key and it slides smoothly into the shining lock, turning without hesitation.

inside i can see it. dappled sunlight coming through what's left of the roof, motes of dust fill the air. the remains of the old listening booths are against the back wall of the shop.

i walk through the plants, the moss coated shelves of old records, my feet crunching over the ground, breathing deep the humid warmth of the air.

only one of the booths has headphones. they look untouched by time, the silver metal shining like brand new.

i brush my fingers over the black leather of the ear cushions before picking them up, feeling the weight in my hands.

they fit comfortably over my head and i take a breath as the world fades away.

and the guitar strums.

and the drums thud.

and the voices call out.

the quiet returns. the music fades out.

the sunlight that had been lighting the room is gone, now replaced by the cool blue light of the night, stars visible through the gaps in the roof.

there's chill in the air, a breeze that cuts through the fabric of my shirt, cooling the stripes of tears that had appeared on my cheeks.

my chest feels whole.

despite being by myself in this place, i feel less alone than i have when surrounded by people, like hundreds of voices had been singing along to the music that had been playing, like there were thousands of other people standing where i am, the same headphones over their ears, listening, their hearts beating in time with the sounds of the drums.

i sit the headphones gently back on the post in the booth.

and i return to the city, content with my secret world i share with the rest of the unseen voices.

[sorryjustafangirl]

it’s a love story

a/n:  this is my submission for the @doubleminor​’s #hockeychallengemusic ! im so so super late but i finally had the time to write this. the toronto six of the nwhl have this as their winning song and i loved watching them celebrate this season. and apparently all i can write is matty tkachuk but i felt he really fit this idea

Pairing: Matthew Tkachuk x reader

Work count: 2.2k+

warnings: mentions of the pandemic and one swear but other than that just fluff :)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! also the gif isn’t mine! all credit to the fantastic gif-maker!

prompt: choose an official team/player goal song and make something using that goal song // found here 

He had wanted the proposal to be perfect. The moment he knew you were the one he wanted to marry, he asked your best friend for everything you had ever mentioned about a proposal. You were only going to get proposed to once, and he wanted to make sure it was perfect. 

Secluded, yet meaningful, place? Check. 

Get it on camera? Check. 

Cute outfit with nails done? Check. 

But a global pandemic was not in his plan. Not even close. 

When the season had got put on pause, his parents suggested he come back to St. Louis to spend time with them, since Brady was coming back too. He was hesitant to go considering you were still going into the office for an essential project, but you assured him that he should go spend time with his family. He didn't get to see them a lot, and you knew he missed them. When he packed, he made sure to take the little velvet box and shove it between his socks. He didn't want to risk you finding it while he was away. 

A couple weeks later, after many FaceTimes and virtual date nights, you finished your project and work gave you the all clear to work from home. A two week quarantine and one plane ride later, you had joined him in St. Louis. You were still working, but working from the Tkachuk's home and with your boyfriend was much better than working alone in your shared apartment. 

Since you had joined the family, Taryn had noticed her oldest brother was a little jumpier than usual. Before, he was more carefree, aside from the occasional moping, and he definitely wasn't making sure his bedroom door was closed whenever he went in there alone. But now? It seemed odd. He wasn't moping, but he had those moments when he seemed too sad for it just to be about the season.  

So after Matthew's third sigh and retreat to his room while you were working, she decided it was time for an intervention. She quietly followed him to his room, where he methodically closed it and made sure it clicked. 

***

It was the second time today Matthew had looked at the box today. He knew he was torturing himself, opening the box to look at the ring he had picked out. It wasn't too flashy, something just your style. He remembered the way his heart jumped when he saw it in the store. It instantly reminded him of you and he just knew it was the one. It was like he couldn't help himself, looking at the box another time.

You could’ve already been engaged by now. The two of you could’ve been looking at venues and dates and even if he said he never really cared about that stuff… he couldn’t help but long for those things, because it would mean it was real. The two of you would be getting married, and he’d get to be your husband. 

But instead of being engaged, he’d just have to stare at the ring and wish he could make this all go away so he could give you the proposal you’ve always wanted. He relived the time he knew you were the one, anything to remind him that you wouldn’t mind waiting until this pandemic was over to get engaged. 

It was a home game against the Senators. Nothing speculator, just a regular game that they unfortunately lost in OT. Because it was against the Sens, and because he scored the only goal of the game, Matt knew he’d be chosen for press. He was tired, and there was nothing he wanted more than to see his family who had made the trek out to Calgary to see the boys play. He left the dressing room with his tie a little crumpled from the rush to meet them. 

He turned the corner to see Taryn sitting on a bench, with Brady standing with his parents, probably cracking a joke based on the way his mom was playfully glaring at Brady while his dad laughed loudly. His mood picked up a little after the interview and the loss.

As he got closer, he realized that Taryn wasn’t sitting alone. You were sitting there, your head resting against her shoulder, your eyes slightly closed. He stopped in his tracks when he saw your work bag sitting in your lap and your suitcase beside you. Your flight was supposed to get in around 8 and he had insisted that you just meet him at home after the game. This work trip had been horrible, your co-worker throwing you under the bus in a meeting with executives on a project he didn’t work on. You deserved to be relaxing with a glass of wine in the sanctity of your shared apartment. But you were here, at his game, straight from the airport, laughing with his family despite your drooping eyes. He had never felt more loved than he did right there. 

A knock startled him from his thoughts. 

“Uhh... just a second!” He snapped the ring box shut and quickly stood up from the bed to shove it in his drawer. Taryn popped her head in to see him very suspiciously standing in front of his dresser.

“It’s just me, dork. What are you doing?” She entered his room, making herself comfy on his bed. He scoffed, and closed the door behind his sister. 

“I’m not doing anything. What are you doing?” He went back to standing by the dresser and Taryn rolled her eyes.

“That’s exactly it, you’re doing nothing. Normally, when we’re all home you’re like bouncing off the walls. Like I know this time it’s different but Y/n came too so I thought… I don’t know, you just seem off but Brady didn’t think so and I didn’t want to worry Mom… so like, what’s going on? Is everything okay? Are you and Y/n fighting?” 

His eyes bugged out and Taryn would have laughed if she wasn’t so serious. “What no! We’re fine! We’re fine, why-why would you say that?” 

“You’ve been quiet Matt. You’re never quiet, especially when Brady’s home with us.” He rolled his eyes and she huffed at her older brother. “You know it’s true! So... what’s going on?” He sighed and turned to find the box from the drawer. He looked down at the velvet in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. Taryn moved to be sitting beside him and gasped quietly. 

“Is that...?” 

“Yeah. I was going to...you know, before the world went to shit. I had it all planned out too. The weather was getting warmer and there’s this hiking trail we like in Banff, it’s only like an hour drive. There’s this perfect spot where I could prop my phone up so I could get it on camera, just like they wanted. But now... I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Do you still want to, you know, propose?” 

“’Course I do. Honestly, I want nothing more. But, they deserve it to be perfect, you know? And like, I don’t know how I could surprise them here, because we’ve been chilling in the same sweatpants for the past week! Asking them to get dressed up would seem suspicious and I want it to be a surprise,”

“Could… could I help you? I might have an idea…” She grinned towards her brother, his eyes brightening at the idea of marrying you. 

***

“Y/N, do you want to do a TikTok with me?” She called to you from across the Tkachuk’s backyard. Taryn must’ve been feeling the quarantine because yesterday the two of you did your nails together, which prompted you to, for once, put on a pair of pants that weren’t Matty’s sweatpants and do your hair, so you had no problem setting down your book and hopping up from your seat to join her. She squealed and you laughed as you joined her. 

“It’s so easy! I promise! So, it’s to a remix of Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ and the only set in stone parts are that you actually kneel when she says ‘knelt to the ground’ and then the camera will start to pull away and then you just freestyle! We can do a couple practice ones before we film it for real, if you want?” 

“Yes, please, you have severely overestimated my dancing skills,” you laughed. Right at that moment, Matthew came out of the house with a Bud Light in his hand. He placed it on the edge of the firepit before walking over to you.

“What’s got you all cracked up?” He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Taryn thinks I’m a good enough dancer to film this TikTok on my first try,” He grinned at you. 

“A TikTok you say? Can I do it too? If you can do it surely it’s easy enough for me,” You gave him a playful eye roll and laughed. 

“How bored are you to want to film a TikTok?” 

“I want to spend time with my girlfriend, is that a crime?” He smirked and you cracked a smile.  

Taryn spoke up. “Hey no, this would be perfect! I need to move the camera away from you when you’re dancing anyways, and this way you won’t be alone. And you’ll get Matt’s dancing on camera for future blackmail!” You laughed at her comment and slugged him lightly in the arm. 

“Game on, we’ll see who's the better dancer after this,” He just laughed and then told you to tell what the heck he was doing for this dance. After a while, the two of you were ready to film. 

Taryn got behind her phone and started the music. You got into position and bumped Matthew’s hip before facing the camera. 

Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

You knelt down and pretended to open a ring box, while Matthew pulled out the box he’d been hiding for six months. 

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone

You started to dance as Taryn pulled the camera away from the both of you. Lost in the music, you didn’t seem to notice that Matthew was still on one knee, an adoring smile on his face. 

“Y/n,” 

I love you and that’s all I really know

You stopped dancing and glanced to your side. “Oh my god,” Your hands flew to cover your mouth as you saw Matt still on one knee, but with a black box in his hands. “Are you joking?”

“Not joking, baby, I promise.” He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. It was classy, with just enough bling to catch your eye and go with the rest of your jewelry. Your eyes filled with tears as he started to speak. 

“Y/n, you are the best person I have ever met. I never thought someone would be willing to put up with me, not with my job and the media and how I play my game, but then I met you, and it’s like the whole world shifted. I have fallen more in love with you every day, even the past few days when we do the same thing every day. I love you so much, babe, and all I want is to keep being your person. I know my job means I’ll have to leave sometimes, but with me, with this, I promise you’ll never be alone. I want to be your husband and I want us to have little mini-us’s running around, well really mini-you’s but with my hair, because let’s face it, they aren’t escaping the curls,” You let out a teary laugh, and you could see his shoulder visibly relax a little. “When I look to my future, all I see is you. You are my future. And I know this isn’t perfect or even ideal but..”

“No, no, Matty, it’s perfect.” You whispered, your eyes full of tears. “It’s perfect because it’s with you.”

His grin widened if that was possible, and he looked down at the box in his hands before up to you. “If that’s the case, then Y/n, will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?” 

“Yes! Yes, yes, of course,” You bent down to kiss him, leaving your tears on his cheek when you pulled away. He slipped the ring onto your finger and swept you into a bear hug. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to get married!”

“It’s you and me, baby, for the rest of our lives.” He tried to smirk, but it didn’t last long, a smile covering it as the euphoria overcame him. 

“Okay, okay, show me the ring!! Matthew didn’t tell me he was proposing!” Chantel came out in the backyard with a bright grin on her face. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face and the two of you admired the ring together. 

“I didn’t tell Dad either, don’t get offended,” Matthew said, coming over to meet the both of you. 

“Oh, you liar! You totally called me and asked me for advice.” Keith chimed in with a laugh. “Granted, you never told me you were going to do it today… but I’m happy for you kids.”

“I didn’t think he’d ever get the guts to propose, sorry for the wait Y/n,” Brady chirped, earning a whack from his mother. 

“I don’t mind, he’s worth the wait.” You looked to your fiancé, only to find him already looking at you, his blue eyes gleaming full of warmth. “So worth the wait.”

let me know what you think! thanks for reading!

[nadisabug]

Anything You Want

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x reader

Warnings: reader is kinda depressed, idk she convinces herself that no one (Kei) could like her, so warning for that, no spoilers though, ooc Tsukki, I am so sorry this was a one am fever dream im sor-

Summary: As old childhood friends of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, it doesn’t make sense why Tsukishima and you fight so much.

A/N: Ahh I’m so sorry I woke up out of a cold sweat to write this whole thing in one sitting at one am im just 💛love💙 him!! Also!!! I hit 150 followers!! So excited!!! I love you all so much!! Thank you!!!!! (ps requests are open pls send some in)

Haikyuu!! Masterlist

"Kiss me Kei!"

"What? Tch, no that's gross."

"But I'm the mommy!"

"So?"

"You're the daddy! You gotta!"

"I don't even wanna play this dumb game."

"It's not dumb! Pleeaaasseee Kei-chan! For me?"

"Fine, come here."

The slap of the ball hitting the gym floor startled me out of my daydream. My eyes snapped up quickly to the game before me. Did we score? It took me a minute to even register what was going on and who I was looking at. I looked to the referee on his stepladder, waiting for him to call the point.

The whistle blew. He raised his arm. Boys in black and orange jerseys shouted. I clapped and cheered.

It all felt so robotic. But then I looked at him. Then the world shifted into slow motion and began to flow more naturally.

He raised his arm to wipe the sweat off of his brow, the movement mesmerizing. Even the jerk of his body when a teammate patted him on the back seemed graceful. Elegant. He pushed his glasses up a bit and glared at the offender. He turned to say-

"Y/n?" Once again I was startled from my thoughts. My head snapped to the right side where Yachi was standing next to me. She had a concerned look on her face. I swallowed, my dry mouth only producing a lump in my throat. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," I responded quickly and looked back to the game. "Just focusing is all." This time I fought not to look at the boy. I didn't want to look at him anyway. I didn't. I didn't.

Finding my eyes drifting back to him, I launched into conversation to pull my mind from him.

"How's the girls team going?"

I was on the girls volleyball team as a first year. I only made the team because I was the only libero and, being honest, I was the best at receiving. I was abnormally short, so I knew I couldn't pull off many other positions.

Well, maybe I could.

I watched as the short, orange haired boy flew across the court and landed an impossible to receive spike. I still wasn't used to that combo no matter how many games I watched. Then again, I only had reflexes, not the raw power that that boy had.

I sighed and tore my eyes from the game to look at Yachi. I slumped onto the railing a plopped my head in my hands. "We need more practice games, honestly. The way we're going we're not going to win our match."

"Don't say that Y/n!" Yachi cried.

I shrugged and looked back at the game. My eyes found blonde hair naturally. "Its true. The girls don't practice enough. I think getting our asses completely handed to us will turn the team around. I just feel bad for the third years who will suffer from it."

Yachi didn't have a response to that. She changed the subject quickly and we chatted until the game ended, the whole time I focused on the freakish number ten instead of the boy I knew deep down in my heart I really wanted to watch.

"Nice net drop, broccoli brain," I smirked and clapped my best friend on the shoulder.

His shoulders slumped and he sighed. "I didn't even mean to do it," he bereaved.

"Fucking who cares?" I snorted. "Got us a fat point and they never saw it coming. Just remember how it felt and do it again."

"Y/n," Yama whined and tried to shake me off.

"Y/n giving you crap again?" A rich voice came from behind me, sending shivers down my spine. "That's rich coming from Pipsqueak."

"Says Mr-cant-block-for-shit," I shot back, turning around so that I could stick my tongue out at him.

"I'd like to see you try to pick up a real serve, not that-"

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" Yama stepped in between us, putting a warning hand on us both. "We're all friends."

I glared at Tsukishima but backed down. I didn't want to upset Yamaguchi. I knew how much he hated it when we fought, seeing as it was his two best friends.

I had known Yama since elementary school, when I saved him from some bullies. One day when we were clearly out matched, Tsukishima saved us in his aloof, roundabout way. From then on we were inseparable.

That is until the second year of middle school when Tsukishima and I started fighting all the time. Despite that, we still hung out together. Who knows why he put up with my constant antagonism, but he always reciprocated and never complained.

We got on the bus soon after the game, headed to the school. I was on the girls bus, them on the boys. When we got back to the school we met up again.

When we came to the usual splitting point, Yama spoke up.

"So I'll walk Y/n home," Yama offered like always. I was about to accept when Tsukishima spoke up.

"Nah, I'll do it." Yama cocked an eyebrow. "It's out of your way, Yamaguchi. She lives closer to me."

We all knew this, but the point had never come up before.

"Okay," Yama said warily. "Are you sure you don't want me to come anyways?"

"Tch, we're fine, I don't need a babysitter." Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

"Okay," Yama shrugged. He took a few steps backwards before he said goodbye and started off in the opposite direction.

Tsukishima wordlessly took off in the direction of our houses, so I followed. I was wondering why he suddenly offered to walk me home, but he offered no clues as to why. He used to walk me home before we always fought, but after that he stopped. This was the first time he walked me home in years.

So we walked in complete silence.

When we reached my house, we stood there awkwardly for a moment, looking at it. I wasn't sure what to say, but before I could figure it out, he spoke.

"Why do you hate me?"

I was startled by both the question and the sudden shattering of silence. I turned to look at Tsukishima. He wasn't looking at me, just straight ahead. I tried to read his facial expression, but like always, it was stone cold.

"I don't?" I answered uneasily.

Tsukishima sighed. "Yes you do, you always act so pissy towards me. You even tense up when I'm near."

"I do not," I frowned. I tried to think if I have ever done anything like that, but I drew blank.

"Yes you do," Tsukishima sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "We..." He paused. He brought he other hand up and rubbed his eyes, pressing his two fingers into his eye sockets. After a moment he threw his hand down, clearly having made up his mind, and turned to look at me. I felt hot under his intent gaze, his eyes searching mine for an answer I was afraid I didn't have. "We used to be close when we were little. What changed."

It wasn't a question. It was more of a statement. It was like he meant to say something different.

So I said it for him.

"We changed."

He scoffed, his face twisting into his signature cynical look. "Bullshit."

"No, that's the answer. Maybe you're not asking the right question," I shot back, confidence fueled by his venom.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it soon after. His brows furrowed and his lips pressed together. It was more emotion than he was exhibiting earlier, and for some weird reason, it made something in me happy.

"Why are you so mad at me?" He finally asked, face relaxing a bit. He seemed genuinely curious as to the answer.

His sincerity almost made me explode with anger. How could he not know? He was the most insufferable person in the entire world, what wouldn't I be mad about.

But then again, that was wrong. He never mad me mad with his snide comments and dirty looks. It was all in play and it never really bothered me, ever since we were kids, and he knew that too. So I couldn't lie and say it was his personality because I loved his personality. It was something else. Something I was afraid of admitting.

I grit my teeth. What did it matter if I said it or not? It's not like he'd understand anyway.

Once I made up my mind I met his eyes.

"Because you will never give me what I want."

"And what is that?" His voice was soft, wispy, breathless. Afraid.

Your love.

I couldn't say it. Bile rose in my throat and tears prickled at my eyes. I opened my mouth but quickly shut it. I wouldn't say it. I was too afraid.  My eyes fell to the ground, and with them, all my confidence.

All at once my mind began to barrage me. He will never love you, he could never love someone like you. He-

He laughed.

He fucking laughed.

My mind was thrown to a complete and total standstill by the absurdity of it. I looked back up at him with watery eyes in confusion.

"I thought you were smarter than that," he grinned, one corner of his mouth charmingly quirked upwards. "Than to decide what I think."

"What?" I mumbled nearly incoherently.

"We both know if you ask I'll do anything for you, so quit your crying, Pipsqueak."

I opened my mouth, completely surprised by his confession. He'd do anything for me? That couldn't be right...

But the more I thought about it the more I realized it was true. He had always done everything for me. Whenever I needed him he was there. It was me that started the fighting, all because I let my mind tell me that he could never love me, that he never would.

I met his eyes once again, this time brimming with happiness.

"Kiss me, Kei."

"Fine," he dramatically sighed, hiding a small grin. "Come here."

And he did.

Taglist:

Taglists are open! Shoot me an ask or a dm with what fandom you want to be tagged in and I’ll do it right away! :)

[agustdakasuga]

A Place Called Home | Chapter 19

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook

Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

As you sit there and endure the tortures of being an illegal fighting ring’s prisoner, you soon hear what you dread the most. Your worse nightmare has come true. (Italics: Flashback moments)

Chapter warning(s): Light teasing, violence. Please read at your own discretion

The 6 just continued running, afraid that there would be people to chase them. Namjoon saw signs of a city and they cut out of the forest. 

“Let’s go.” He led the group towards the flashing lights of the buildings. Looking at the signs, they realised they were across town. There was no way they would be able to make it back home on foot. 

“Shall we take a train?” Taehyung asked. 

“We should have enough money.” Jin nodded. Hoseok took his pouch out to count what they had. He was in charge of the money for their trip. 

"Wait, it’s after curfew. We’ll get in trouble if people report us.” Namjoon frowned. They decided to start walking. Hopefully they had enough energy to talk until the curfew was up, then they could take public transportation. It was dark and the streets were empty enough that they wouldn’t be questioned or reported to the police. 

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asked Jimin, who stumbled a little. 

“I’m okay.” Jimin gave a tired smile. Yoongi took his water bottle and handed it to Jimin. Jimin took small sips, careful to reserve some for the panther and handed it back to him. 

“It’ll be about 2 hours until curfew is up.” Jin checked his watch. The group made sure to take small breaks every now and then to prevent over exhaustion.

“Yoongi?” A familiar voice spoke. The group froze and turned around to see who it was. 

“Head nurse Park?” The panther tilted his head. 

“How are you boys? I haven’t seen you in ages, what are you doing out here at this hour?” Head nurse Park asked. She was going to take her usual morning walk when she saw the familiar group of hybrids walk past her house. Luckily, she recognised Yoongi and called out to him. 

“We’re trying to get home. We think something has happened to (y/n).” Taehyung spoke sadly. 

“Oh, dear. And where have you boys been?” 

“At a safe house, separated from her. We ran away last night.” Yoongi explained. Head nurse Park’s heart broke as she saw how tired the boys looked from walking the whole night. 

“Come in. At least have some food and drinks until curfew is up.” She opened the gate wider for them to come into her property. 

“Stay here.” She handed them some blankets to bundle up as she went to the kitchen. First, she fixed them some hot tea to warm up. Then she made a quick, simple breakfast for them. Jimin quickly fell asleep in Namjoon’s lap, exhausted from walking the whole night. The boys were all thanking their lucky stars that they ran into head nurse Park. 

“Here, it’s not much but it’ll do.” She put the tray of porridge down. 

“No, it’s more than enough. Thank you.” Jin gave the bowls out. Namjoon woke Jimin up to eat something as well. 

“Is there anyone I can call or-” 

“No! Umm... sorry. We’re not supposed to be out of the safe house. They didn’t want us to know about something happening to (y/n). We found out by accident, which is why we want to save her.” Namjoon said. 

“I understand. Before (y/n) took her vacation, she was acting weird in the hospital. She was distracted, she wasn’t eating right, it was obvious something was wrong. Now I know the reason, it was because she was separated from all of you.” She smiled softly. 

The boys’ hearts all broke when they heard that you weren’t taking care of yourself while they weren’t there, not like they were exactly doing well either. 

“I hope (y/n) is okay.” She stroked Taehyung’s head. 

“She will be.” Yoongi clenched his fist. Once the clock hit 7 am, the boys got ready to head home. 

“Take this, enough for the bus.” Head nurse Park handed them some bills. 

“No, you’ve done enough for us. We can’t take your money too.” Jin shook his head. Head nurse Park just grabbed his hand and shoved the money in before leaving for her morning walk. 

“We better go.” Hoseok took the money from Jin and they headed to the bus station. When the bus came, they were about to step on when the bus conductor stopped them, he frowned at the group before pointing at the sign, ‘No strays allowed’. Sighing, they all proceeded to take their tags out from underneath their shirts. 

Only then did he move back into his driver’s seat. Yoongi rolled his eyes and made sure everyone was able to get in and find a seat. 

“You should sit, hyung.” Jimin was about to get up when Yoongi pushed him back down by his shoulder. Yoongi just looked away, continuing to shield Jimin with his body. 

“Why aren’t you sitting?” Yoongi looked up at you. 

“Because there aren’t any other seats, silly. It’s alright, the journey is not that far. Just sit or we’ll lose it and both have to stand.” You smiled down at him, stroking his head. Yoongi blinked and looked around the bus. Indeed, there weren’t any other available seats. 

“Yoongi, what are you-” Suddenly, Yoongi yanked you down onto his lap. You blushed at the sudden contact. 

“What are you doing?!” You whispered harshly. 

“Who says we can’t share a seat?” Yoongi smirked at you, circling his arms around your waist. You choked and met eyes with an old lady that was giving you disapproving looks. 

“We’re in public! This is very inappropriate.” You squeaked. 

“Aww, is my kitten have dirty thoughts? Naughty kitten.” He whispered in your ear. You shivered as you felt his warm breath against your skin. Immediately, your whole body went warm and your cheeks turned fire red. 

“Yoongi!” You slapped his arm. 

“I’m just teasing, just relax, kitten.” He chuckled. You ducked your head slightly but still bowed your head to the old lady. That was the first time Yoongi was taking the bus. Even if you had a car, you insisted that he experience ‘normal life’ and brought him on his first bus ride. It was definitely an experience that he would never forget. 

“Yoongs?” Jin called, breaking Yoongi out of his flashback. He looked up at the arctic fox. 

“We’re here.” He told the younger. Yoongi nodded and woke Jimin up. He held onto the boy’s hand, something he has never done before, and led him out of the bus. The 6 walked towards their old house. 

“There’s no one.” Hoseok sniffed the air. They could smell the scent of other people coming in and out of the house previously, as well as yours. 

“Be careful.” Namjoon cautioned. 

When they stepped inside, they felt the wind get knocked out of them. Their house wasn’t recognisable anymore. Everything was broken, like a tornado had swept through the place, leaving nothing intact. Yoongi’s eyes travelled to his now broken piano. 

“(y/n)...” Jimin whimpered as he picked up your family picture from under the pile of glass. 

“There’s something written at the back.” Taehyung pointed out. They all gathered as Jimin turned the photo over. It was true. In red writing, there was an address messily scribbled on. 

‘Come get your precious owner.’

The agents that came to scout and investigate the house obviously missed this, considering it was still left untouched under the glass. 

“This is all we need. We better go before others come.” Jin said. Jimin folded the photo and placed it into his pocket. They all froze when they heard cars pulling up outside, followed by unrecognisable voices. 

“They escaped the safe house?... Okay, we just pulled up to the house. We’ll see if they’re here.” There was someone on the phone. Taehyung pointed to the back exit and they quickly ran out the door as they heard the footsteps approaching the front door. Kilo must have noticed that they disappeared and informed the other agents. 

“Where shall we go?” Taehyung panted. 

“Just keep running.” Namjoon and Yoongi stayed at the back of the group in case anyone did discovered them and gave a chase. 

“We need to go to that address.” Hoseok said. 

“Let’s split into two cabs and go. The place is pretty far out and it’ll take us all day to get there if we walk or take public transport.” Jin suggested and they exited out into the main road. 

Luckily, they were able to get two taxis at the same time. They had just enough money to pay for the journey. It was Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok in one cab, Taehyung, Jimin and Jin in the other. Yoongi and Namjoon haven’t even seen the outside of the fighting ring before, they were going in blind. 

“Ugh!” You spat out more blood as a kick was landed against your stomach. You wheezed, feeling the dull ache as you breathed.

“You’re make this too hard on yourself, doctor.” Boss Im chuckled, putting a new cigarette to his lips. 

“You’re barking up the wrong tree.” You glared at him. 

“I left a nice message for your hybrids. I bet they’re on their way here right now.” He smiled. You continued to keep your fierce gaze on him but on the inside, you were panicking. You prayed the boys weren’t actually coming.

“I’ll be sure to keep you updated on their due arrival.” He left with his men. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. 

“Let me help you.” The same girl that has been bringing you meals rushed into your cell with a first aid box. You let out a hiss, moving away from her. 

“Please.” She begged, grasping your wrist. You were sceptical but nodded anyway. Slowly she began to clean your wounds and bandage you up. There wasn’t much she could do for the internal bleeding you were suffering from but she managed to get the superficial wounds. 

“Who are you?” You asked. 

“His wife...” She looked away, almost ashamed. 

“If you see my hybrids, turn them away. Don’t let them find me, please.” You begged her, holding her hands in your own.

“Can I ask why you are trying so hard to protect them? To the point you’d rather suffer multiple beatings.”

“I’ve already broken so many promises with them. The least I could do is try my best to honour one promise, which is that they’ll never return to this life of illegal captivity and fighting again.” You scoffed with a sarcastic chuckle. She nodded her head and packed up, leaving the cell. You pulled yourself onto the mattress and laid down with a grunt. 

You were woken up by loud banging on the bars of your cell. Someone roughly bound your hands behind your back and unlocked the chain around your ankle. He pulled you into a standing position. 

“Let’s go.” He said gruffly and pulled you along. You were pulled into a big room, with Boss Im sitting in what looks like a throne.

“I told you I’ll keep you updated. I’m never wrong, doctor.” He spoke with a smile.

“No...” The colour drained from your face. 

“No!” You thrashed around as the other doors opened and 6 hybrids were brought in. For the first time in almost a month, you faced your hybrids. You cried as you shook your head. 

“No, please... no.” You sobbed. 

“(y/n).” They all whimpered at your state. You had lost so much weight, the dark circles under your eyes were obvious and you were bloodied and bruised. It hurt them to even think of how much torture you went through alone here. Boss Im gave a content smirk. 

“Yoongi, Namjoon. Nice to see you again.” Boss Im grabbed their chins. Yoongi spat at him and he frowned, immediately socking him in the jaw. 

“Please don’t hurt him.” 

“Help me understand why you like these animals so much, doctor. They’re feral, they’re killers and yet, you treat them like every house cat and dog. They’re monsters.” Boss Im chuckled. 

“You’re the monster! Not them!” You shouted. 

“I’ll kill you, Im.” Namjoon growled. 

“Not if you want your precious mate to stay alive. I go down, she goes down with me.” Boss Im nodded to the man holding him and soon, you felt a cold metal being pressed against the jugular vein in your neck. The hybrids all let out growls at his actions. Boss Im just laughed and clapped at what a good reaction they gave him. 

“You brought some nice extras for me. A tiger, a fox, a golden retriever and oh, what a rare gem, a male calico cat.” Boss Im touched Jimin’s clipped ear. 

“Stop. Don’t touch him!” You begged. 

“Oh, doctor. Aren’t you curious to see how your mates fight? And now that you’re here, maybe they’ll fight even better. It gives them a reason to give it their all.” He smirked. 

“You’re despicable. Just let them go.” 

“But the show hasn’t even started, doctor. Listen, I’ll let you see how well your little mates fight. You deserve front row seats after taking such good care of them. For now, take them away.” Boss Im waved. Other henchmen came and grabbed the hybrids, bringing them with you. 

“You two, in there.” Jimin and Hoseok were thrown into a cell with you. Jin and Namjoon were together while Yoongi and Taehyung were together, being canines and felines. 

“(y/n).” Jimin and Hoseok immediately embraced you. 

“No... why did you come? You will die here.” You cried. 

“It’s okay, kitten. We’re okay. Boss won’t kill us as long as we fight for him.” Yoongi reached through the bars to pat your head. He wiped your tears with a reassuring smile. Even if the bars separating you, Yoongi still tried his best to hug you and cradle you in his arms. 

“We’re together now. That’s all that matters.” Taehyung comforted. 

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. 

“Hush, no apologies.” Hoseok said. You moved over to the other side to hug Namjoon and Jin. This was not part off the plan, for all of you to be trapped here. 

“Where’s Jungkook?” You asked Hoseok as Jimin hugged you like a koala. 

“He didn’t come.” Hoseok tried to smile. You pulled him close to you, stroking his head. The hugging from both of them hurt your bruised body but you didn’t care, you wanted to hold them forever. 

The 6 hybrids stopped outside the abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. 

“We’re here.” Namjoon and Yoongi recognised the place by it’s smell of the old building and blood. It was faint but they could smell you as well.

“This is your last chance to turn around and walk away. The boss wanted the two of us. There’s still a chance for the 4 of you to leave. Because once we get in there, there’s no knowing how long we’ll be there or what will happen to us. It may be death or torture. We may even have to fight.” Yoongi said. The 4 all looked at each other. 

“I want to save her, hyung. She doesn’t belong here.” Jimin said sadly. The others all nodded their heads. It didn’t amtter what happened to them as long as you were safe. 

“Okay. Let’s go.” Jin said. Suddenly, a small figure ran out at them. They all got into a defence position. 

“Stop! I’m not going to hurt you but please, go away.” She said frantically. Yoongi and Namjoon recognised her. They have seen her before and she was the one that delivered their food while they were here. 

“Who are you?” Taehyung asked. 

“It doesn’t matter. But you have to go. You can’t be here!” She shook her hands, trying to shoo them away. 

“We’re here for some personal business, lady.” Hoseok growled. 

“Your owner, the doctor. Her only request that she begged me to keep all of you away. She doesn’t want you guys to end up prisoner like her. She doesn’t want you guys here.” The lady explained. 

“She’s really here. Move out of the way.” Yoongi barred his canines and they shoved past the lady, walking into the compound. 

“My two best fighters and two new fighters, better eat your fill.” Boss Im came again. Two men had a tray filled with cooked beef. You went pale, he was going to ask Taehyung and Jin to fight for him as well. No wonder they kept them in two separate cages from you, Jimin and Hoseok. Jimin and Hoseok were domestic breeds, they don’t fight. 

“Let them go, please.” You kneeled by the bars of your cell. 

“Why would I? Namjoon and Yoongi have been trained enough that they can bring me a lot of money.” Boss Im smiled. 

“This is wrong!” You clenched your fists. 

“Do you think I care? These animals make me rich, that’s all that matters.” He shrugged and left. The 4 hybrids handed some beef to Jimin and Hoseok to eat. You buried your face into your hands. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You chanted. 

“My love, listen to me. You did nothing wrong, you hear me? None of us are angry with you or blame you. What you did was just to protect us. We came here to save you on our own will, knowing what we will happen. It’s alright.” Namjoon cupped your face.

“They’re going to make Tae and Jin fight.” Your breathing quickened. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about that for a second. Take a deep breath, my love. Breathe with me. Like Tae said, we’re all together now. We’ll work through this together, hmm? We’ll never separate again.” Namjoon cooed. 

“There was never a moment that I didn’t think about you boys.” You placed a hand over his. 

“You were constantly on our minds too, snowflake. You’re our only mate, after all.” Jin chuckled, taking your hand to kiss the back of it. 

“You see? We’ve never parted with these.” Taehyung flashed his boxy grin, taking his green dog tag out to show you. Oh, how you missed that charming smile of his. 

“We’ll be okay.” Jimin whispered. 

-

The door slamming loudly woke Jungkook up. He jumped slightly and suddenly, was grabbed by the forearms. He was pulled up into a sleeping position, facing a frantic Kilo. 

“Jungkook! Where are they?!” Kilo shook him. 

“Who?” Jungkook replied lazily. 

“The other 6 hybrids! Your brothers, where did they go?!” Jungkook could just hear Kilo’s rapid heart rate. He was scared, nervous and panicking. Maybe he was afraid that losing 6 hybrids would cause him to get in trouble with Alpha or worse, get fired from the organisation. 

“Jungkook, where are the 6 hybrids?” Kilo asked again. 

“I don’t know.” Jungkook said monotonously, letting out a yawn.

“Listen, Jungkook. I know your brothers ran away because if they were kidnapped, you wouldn’t have been left here. Tell me, did they go and look for (y/n)?” Kilo was sweating bullets. 

“They are bound to find out.” Jungkook whispered. 

“They are in grave danger. You guys don’t have the strength to bring down an illegal fighting ring, much less, save your owner.” Kilo sighed, rubbing his forehead. Jungkook frowned, who was he to underestimate the strength of his brothers? Jungkook swatted Kilo’s hands off him and stood up. The man looked at the nonchalant rabbit. 

“Did you make breakfast? I’m hungry.” He yawned and went to the bathroom. 

“Jeon Jungkook, are you not worried about your brothers?” Kilo asked. Of course, Jungkook was worried but he couldn’t show it. He shrugged at Kilo’s question and headed to the kitchen. 

~~

Tag list

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[tomikashii]

Nohebi Boyfriend Headcanons

literally made this because i don't see alot of nohebi boyfriend headcanons lol

warning ; nsfw , mentions of sex and kinks (like exhibitionism , choking , blindfold , toys , scratch marks )

honestly , if you are gonna have a problem with my headcanons , please leave 🚪👈🏻

i love nohebi and let me talk about them , give them the boyfriend headcanon that they deserve because literally one of them is in a canon relationship 🙄 (but mika is non-existent in this headcanon , im sorry)

🐍 Daisho Suguru 🐍

as we can see from the way he treats mika , probably a very good guy to you but an asshole to the others

well , other than the nohebi members lmao

anyways , i picture him that he is the type who would hold your hand wherever you guys go

locking pinkies with one another when you both are standing next to each other

when you are on your period , he is scared of you (learned it the hard way from his older sister i suppose) but he knows how to handle it because his sister taught him (in a way)

helps you out with your homework because he is in a higher class than you and YOU JUST KNOW HE MAKES FUN OF YOU XISBSIWHWIWHW LIKE OKAY ALBERT EINSTEIN 🙄✋🏻

sexy times with daisho includes having sex in the fucking gym closet because you both have no shame (mostly him)

or probably catching hiroo and his girlfriend at the corner 👁👅👁

FOURSOME ?? (woah sya no pls)

anyways , please go to his games to support him :( you will see the most biggest smile across his face but immediately hides it when you catch him smiling.

and yes , you scold him for teasing or taunting nekoma because you need your boyfriend to B E H A V E

🐍 Hiroo Koji 🐍

emo boyfriend ™️

im just kidding but he really looks that emo boyfriend with his edgy kuroo haircut

anyways , he is probably the clingiest boyfriend among the nohebi team because he doesn't like anyone except you

like deadass , his confession was like :

" i like you because i can tolerate you "

LIKE OKAY BITCH ? I CAN TOLERATE YOU TOO ? 😭✋🏻

would prefer to cuddle you than going out of the house with you . but if you ask him nicely , he would probably bring you to like the nearest convenience store from your house and buy snacks to cuddle you longer in your house .

his parents doesn't really mind you around and his younger siblings loves you more than him (expect alot of hiroo and them fighting for your attention)

sexy times with hiroo : GIRL HE FUCKS YOUR EYEBROWS OFF (LIKE SAYONARA EYEBROWS)

probably would fuck you in the gym closet when he is locking up the gym . (once was caught by daisho and his girlfriend *hint hint* and they both ZOOMED) he doesn't really mind though 👁👄👁

you didn't walk for a week after that so you know that its super beneficial for him because he likes staying home with you and not going anywhere other than school and volleyball practices

honestly , he gives very warm hugs and you would stay cuddled up on him for many hours .

🐍 Sakishima Isumi 🐍

someone add him into the pretty setter squad please or im going to R I O T

anyways , he is a very shy tsundere kind of boyfriend but actually worships you like a goddess

really loves you but shows it by flicking your forehead or constant teasing with either your grades or height

first time holding hands , made him so cocky like he was FLEXING to the entire team that he held your hand to school today (and akama was like : good job 👍🏻)

when you both walk pass each other during passing period , he would playfully nudge your shoulder or of course , flick your forehead

this bitch is the type who would insult your forehead

" damn , your forehead could fit the entire world map in there . " LIKE BITCH

the type who will put your head on his shoulder in the bus when you are fast asleep , after telling you to not sleep on his shoulder 🌚

really shy when you both slept together for the first time (not even sex lmao)

but when you guys had sex , he was so dense , it was so cute but he is trying his best . but after like 20 minutes , he loosen up abit .

OH MY GOD HIS SETTER FINGERS LIKE GOD DAMN AWOOGA AWOOGA it will reach spots your little fingers can't reach .

his aftercare is not the best but he is trying and learning slowly .

super insecure of his freckles but you are madly in love with them , would kiss them when he is 'fast asleep' next to you (but little did you know that he wasn't asleep next to you)

🐍 Takachiho Yoshiya 🐍

STOP SLEEPING ON TAKACHIHO HE IS MY SON AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH STOP SLEEPING ON HIM

as we can see from haikyuu bu! , he is like the father/mother figure of the team so expect him to care for you alot in the relationship

would give you good piggy back rides because he is so nice to you

calls you one million nicknames (i know right) but he does have his favourites like 'pretty girl' or 'angel' .

has a pet dog and the dog loves you more than him (he isn't upset about it but more of touched that his dog loves his love of his life 🥺)

he has this boyfriend sense that even if you didn't text him that you are sick , he is already at your doorstep , with medicine , snacks and like eight different hoodies for you to choose from .

like literally half of your closet is his hoodies and he doesn't mind because he wants you to have them 🥺

very into PDA and would want you to get along with his team because he loves the team but never tells them that except you .

but please don't be fooled , this man is a fucking crackhead at like 4am . he would send you a random meme , making you laugh hysterically for the next 2 hours before school starts .

sexy times with takachiho is the most heartwarming but the most eye rolling pleasurable experience .

LIKE THIS MAN CAN HIT THE SPOTS LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH and plus , he has like that deep ass morning voice .

wouldn't mind if you leave scratches on his back . the other teammates will pester him about it and he would just say , " i went too hard . "

🐍 Numai Kazuma 🐍

OWNS THE BOYFRIEND ™️ HANDS DOWN

honestly , he will give you like the best damn hugs in the whole wide world like you will feel so protected in his bara bara arms .

and the thing is, he is taller than you so like he will lift you up as he hugs you , signaling you to wrap around his torso as he holds you close to his chest .

GOD IM JUST ASKING FOR A BOYFRIEND LIKE NUMAI KAZUMA PLEASE 🥺🤲🏻

he literally worships you like a goddess , always be in awe on whatever you do (even when you just woke up with the most ugliest hair and ugliest facial expressions *he thinks its cute*)

yes , he has a picture of you sleeping on his chest as his wallpaper because he can't get enough of your face

PDA PDA PDA PDA this man live off PDA like hugging you when you pass him in the hallways to kissing your forehead randomly when you are just standing in the train next to him .

gives you a ton of his hoodies and would only want you to wear them because you are his precious PRECIOUS girlfriend .

soft dom numai ;) like he is so soft with you in and out of bed , his aftercare is OUT OF THIS WORLD (like takachiho and numai can have a aftercare battle tbh)

WILL NEVER DEGRADE YOU EVEN IF YOU ASK (maybe a little of degradation + praise) BUT PURE DEGRADATION IS A NO NO

he rather punish you by tying you up against the headboard and sliding in vibrators while you beg him to fuck you .

EYE CONTACT WITH HIM PLS- YOU CAN ACTUALLY DIE FROM HIS SOFT EYES STARING INTO YOURS !!!!!!

🐍 Kuguri Naoyasu 🐍

soft boy and very shy boy + he is very aloof so please don't think that he doesn't love you (he does , he just doesn't know how to show it)

not into PDA but will hold hands with you in private or lay on your shoulder (because he doesn't want his older teammates to make you uncomfortable)

probably the first person he would introduce you to is Numai because he trust Numai than the rest .

sleeps on your shoulder in the bus (unintentionally) , but sometimes you feel he does it on purpose . (because he said that he doesn't like PDA)

he is a very shy boy , so please be patient with him !! he is trying his best :>

says 'i love you' so rarely , everytime you hear him say it , your tears wouldn't stop falling from your eyes .

actually really happy that you go to his games and would blush the moment he sees you in the bleachers .

believe or not , he wants to kiss you more often but people keep getting in the way so that lead him to not do it often .

you first kiss was really magical , like those shojo manga scenes ; on top of the mountain , under the cherry blossom tree .

sexy time with kuguri : the first time you both had sex was in the later part of your relationship . i mean , you guys do make out and stuff , but like- never went the next level .

he is really gentle , always asking if you are okay because your face will scrunch up in pain , taking him in (because he is big)

after having sex with him , he begins to be more confident and actually tries to grab your ass from time to time

hint hint : remember that he is a wing spiker , yeah , let your imagination run wild on that 🌚

i know i didn't add the second years but i really don't know how to write for them :(

and definitely not because i love third years + because kuguri is always on my mind (bcuz of numai 🤗)

leave me a message , reblog or whatsoever if you like this headcanon ! please do let me know if you would like to use it too , NOHEBI STANS RISE !!!! 💕

[rafecameron]

super spies - r.c

Summary: In which reader follows her boyfriend to try and catch him cheating and Rafe tags along

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: This kinda sucks but im posting it anyways

*GIF is mine*

You were almost one hundred percent sure your boyfriend was cheating on you. You thought it, your friends thought it, but you needed some hard evidence before you broke up with his sorry ass. You didn’t want to throw a two year relationship down the drain over a misunderstanding, though the niggling in your stomach should be proof enough that you were right.

You text him asking him his plans for the day and he replies saying he’s staying home as he’s not feeling well. You already know this is a lie as you’re sat in your car staring at his car from across the road, you were parked close to the town centre. You supposed he really could be ill and he had stopped off to get some medicine, but you highly doubted it.

Getting out of your car you stuff your phone into your bag and head towards the shops, not sure where you would find him but determined to do so. You checked multiple shops, no sign of him in any of them. You sigh audibly to yourself, almost ready to give up before you catch a glimpse of him from across the road. You quickly duck into an alley way, poking your head round to watch where he was going, you saw him disappear into the cafe across the street.

Checking the coast was clear you bolt across the street, sneaking up to the cafe and poking your head round the corner of it to peek through the window, it’s busy inside but you can see him at the counter ordering. He didn’t look very ill to you. You glare through the window at him, watching him smile and chat to the girls behind the counter as he waits for his order, you could feel yourself getting more annoyed by the second. 

You were so engrossed on watching your boyfriends actions that you didn’t notice someone coming up behind you, their head practically touching yours before the finally spoke into your ear, “What are you doing?”

You sucked in a breath of air out of shock and spun round, glaring at the amused person behind you, “What the hell is your problem?” You yell at him, hand over your pounding heart, you quickly look back into the cafe hoping that your yelling hadn’t given away your position. Luckily your boyfriend didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Why are you sneaking around? You’re acting really weird.” Rafe laughs, hands in his shorts pockets as he waits for an answer.

You sigh running a hand through your hair, you quickly grab his arm and pull him out of view of the cafe window, “I’m watching my boyfriend.” You admit, not really sure why you were telling him the truth. Sure, you’d known him your whole life, he was your best friends brother after all, but that didn’t mean you should tell him about your cheating ass of a boyfriend.

Rafe raises an eyebrow at your confession, “That’s a bit stalkerish, don’t you think?” He asks, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“I guess,” You shrug, “But I need to see where he’s going.”

“Why?” Rafe asks, but you don’t have time to answer him as the cafe door swings open and your boyfriend appears, walking in the opposite direction with two coffee cups in his hands.

“Be quiet.” You warn the boy beside you as you head off in the direction your boyfriend was going, you could feel Rafe following behind, you hadn’t actually expected him to tag along.

“What are we? Super spies now?” Rafe laughs behind you but you just slap at his arm and shush him in annoyance.

You follow him into a small park on the outskirts of the town, keeping close to the tree line in hopes that he wouldn’t notice you and Rafe tailing him. You quickly put a hand out to stop Rafe walking as your boyfriend comes to a stop next to a bench, handing one of the drinks to a pretty blonde girl who was sat there. She stands up as he speaks to her pulling him into a hug. His free hand goes to her waist and he leans down and kisses her quick on the lips. 

Your jaw clenches in anger, gripping onto the strap of your bag harshly as you shoot daggers at the pair by the bench, “I knew it.” You said through clenched teeth.

“What a fucking asshole,” Rafe fumes from behind you, “You want me to go beat the shit out of him? Cause I will.”

You glare at them for a moment longer before turning to Rafe, eyes wet mostly from anger and frustration than from hurt, you shake your head. “He really isn’t worth it.” You reply, wiping a tear off of your cheek as you begin to head out of the park.

“You’re not even gonna confront him?” Rafe asks running up behind you, his hand rests lightly on your shoulder and you don’t have the energy to shrug it off.

“No, I’m not. Let him be happy with her, I’m over it.” You huff out, the tears on your face telling a completely different story.

“You don’t look over it.” Rafe comments, falling into step beside you.

“And what would you know about it?” You snap at him, finally pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“I know that there’s a pretty girl in tears beside me because of some absolute tool.” He states, putting his hand back on your shoulder but this time stopping you from walking, “You were right when you said he’s not worth it. He was never good enough for you.”

You scoff and shrug his hand off again, “You don’t have to be nice to me, Rafe. You don’t even know me, you’re talking shit.”

“I don’t know you?” Rafe raises his eyebrows at your statement, “I’ve known you my whole life, Y/N. I know that you spend Saturdays in Sarah’s room eating ice cream and watching shitty girls movies. I know that you broke your arm when you were seven falling off the swing in your garden. I know that when you’re sad and hurt you get angry like you are now. I also know that you’re one of the nicest people on this stupid island and you don’t deserve that asshole hurting you like this.”

You blink up at him, fresh tears falling from your reddening eyes, shocked that he paid any attention to you at all, “Rafe, I-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I get it, I’m your friends asshole older brother and you hate me, but I don’t want to see you like this.” Rafe sighs out.

You take a second to process his words before replying, “I don’t hate you, Rafe. I could never hate you.”

“Yeah? Well then why don't you let me try to cheer you up?” He suggests, smiling now which only served to pull a smile onto your own lips.

“Okay.” You nod, wiping your face free of the last of your tears and following Rafe out of the park which was now your least favourite place on the island.

“So what are we doing?” You ask him after walking in silence the whole way back to the town centre.

“I’m cheering you up.” Rafe states again, “Wait here.” Rafe pulls you to a halt and sits you down on a bus stop bench before disappearing.

You knew you should probably call Sarah and tell her exactly what’s happened, let her come and pick you up and comfort you, but for some reason you were a little excited to be spending the day with Rafe. It was probably best you didn’t tell Sarah about that part. Before long Rafe returned, handing you a cone of ice cream which caused your face to light up.

You took it from him, licking at the cold scoop on top, “This is my favourite flavour.” You state as you begin walking beside him.

“I know.” Rafe states matter of factly.

You eat your ice creams in silence as Rafe leads you to his truck, by the time you climbed into the passenger seat you had finished eating and were curious as to what you were doing next.

“So, what are we doing?” You ask, buckling yourself in and watching Rafe excitedly.

Rafe shrugs, “There’s a couple things we can do. Or I could show you somewhere, if you want?”

You furrow your brows slightly, “Show me somewhere?” You asks and Rafe just nods his head in reply, “Okay, show me.” You smile and nod.

You were expecting the drive to feel awkward, you’d never really been alone with Rafe for more than a few minutes and you were worried you wouldn’t have anything to talk about, but you were worrying for no reason. The Rafe with you today was a side of Rafe that you didn’t see very often. He was friendly and open and extremely funny. He had you in stitches in the passenger seat, making comments about the stupidest things just to hear you laughing.

You were almost upset when the truck came to a stop and it was time to get out, “I could drive round with you all day.” You admit, a slight blush on your cheeks at you confession.

“Well we can do that next then.” Rafe smiles as he climbs out of his truck.

The devastation from early this morning was completely gone from your mind as you followed Rafe, the area he had brought you to looked a little run down, somewhere between figure eight and the cut, not somewhere you expected Rafe Cameron would hang out. 

He reaches out and grabs your hand, “Watch where you’re stepping.” He warns you as he leads you off the path and into a wooded area, still gripping tightly onto your hand.

“Is this where you murder me and bury my body?” You ask playfully, eyes on the ground as you follow his steps so as not to fall over the many branches scattered across the floor.

“Am I that easy to read?” Rafe asks with a chuckle.

When Rafe’s feet stop walking in front of you you look up, peeking round from behind him, “Is this-wow.” You cut yourself off, fully stepping out from behind him, “This place is beautiful.” You comment, stepping in front of him to get a better look.

He’d brought you to the tiniest cove you had ever seen, the sand stretching no more than fifteen feet either way, rocks lining the edge of the sand and trees bunching together behind you. The ocean looked bluer her, like that pale blue water you imagine in exotic places and it lapped gently at the sand.

“How did you find this place?” You asked, finally turning away from the view to look at the boy behind you.

Rafe shrugs, “Needed to get away one day, somehow found this place. I come here whenever I need to be alone.” He admits.

“Thank you, for bringing me.” You smile, “I promise I wont keep turning up and ruining your peace.” You laugh gently.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Rafe admits, he moves to sit down in the sand and you follow suit, sitting beside him and looking out across the water.

“It’s so peaceful here, I can see why you come.” You mumble out, fingers burying themselves in the sand.

You spent the whole day in that cove with Rafe, laughing, messing around, having heart to hearts. You never imagined Rafe would have such a soft side to him, you were sure he would never want anyone else to find out.

“Are you cold?” Rafe asks, reaching over and wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, you smile up at him appreciatively before looking back out across the ocean at the sun set, pink and orange glowing across the glittering water.

“Would you call me crazy if I said considering I caught my boyfriend cheating on me this morning I’ve had the best day ever?” You laugh softly at how stupid that sounded.

Rafe shrugged lightly, “I wouldn’t call you crazy. I’d just say you’ve learnt he was an ass who isn’t worth shit and moved on pretty quickly, it’s admirable.”

You look over at the boy sat next to you, “You think I’m admirable?” You ask.

Rafe’s eyes meet yours, the sunset casting an orange glow across his skin, “I think you’re incredibly strong, I always have.” Rafe admits.

You smile softly and don’t stop yourself when you feel yourself leaning forward, you rest a hand against his chest as your lips meet his. The kiss was soft and gently and didn’t last nearly as long as you would have liked it.

“I’m sorry-“ You start.

“Don’t me.” Rafe cuts you off, his hand coming up to the side of your face and pulling your lips against his again, this time with kiss was longer, his lips pressed against yours with more pressure. Before you knew it you were laid back against the sand, Rafe’s body hovering over yours as you got lost in the feeling of your lips together.

That’s how you spent the rest of the night, laying in the sand, pressing kisses against each others lips, noses, foreheads, cheeks. Lost in the feeling of each other and not caring about anything else, not needing anything more.

From that day onwards that became your spot. It’s where you held most of your dates, having picnics and drinks by the sea, it’s the first place you slept with Rafe and the first place you shared I love you’s and you couldn’t be more thankful to your ex for giving you the opportunity to let Rafe into your heart.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Weak Spots

Summary:  Red knew he should've just kept walking.

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Read it here!

~~*~~

Red didn’t do walks. Why the fuck would he, for his health? Wasn’t a workout plan out there that was gonna build him any muscle and when your main mode of transportation was taking a step through the void, you tended to keep the travel expenses to a minimum.

So no, he didn’t do walks, or strolls, or jogs, did he look like his fucking brother? Maybe a little around the eye sockets, but where Edge was always on the move, Red’s internal gearshift was set on park. He liked to have a clear idea of where he was coming from and where he was going to, and not much in between.

All of that was a longass way of saying that wandering down the street with a cigar in one hand and an itchy tailbone in the other was not his normal state of being. Just the walking part, the smokes and the ass scratch were a daily occurrence.

Sometimes, though, the urge struck to get out, to circle the block and have a looksee around that wasn’t through a camera lens. His leg bones got jittery, was all, and tended to take him along for the ride.

If you asked Sans, they weren’t walks at all, it was only him taking a mo’ to survey his domain. Said if Red coulda taken a piss, he’d be whizzing on any tree or fire hydrant he passed. But no one fucking asked Sans, so who gave a shit what that fucker thought about it.

He’d be paying for that remark in spades when Red got back. Spades, diamonds, clubs, he’d owe in all the suits.

(maybe even hearts)

Red shuffled easily along, the soles of his boots scraping the concrete. Up to the border where Old New Home and New New Home met and transformed from mostly abandoned carbon copy houses to pretty little family homes. Didn’t usually go this far out, but it was better’n trudging through the roughly plowed streets of his neighborhood. The sidewalks here were newer and heated, cleared from any snowy sludge, and Red was plenty done with all forms snow; after years in Snowdin, he’d had enough of it for this lifetime and halfway into the next.

The sidewalk made a lazy loop through the little park system that was slowly getting built up. Ebott had a few parks, sure, but not all Monsters wanted to drive out or haul their kiddos on the bus for a little swing set time. No one was on the playground right now, the swings hanging empty, the jungle gym iced over. Maybe on a warmer day, the kiddos would be out but today the chill was keeping them behind closed doors, wasn’t another soul in sight and—

Wait.

In one corner of the park, deep in the snowdrifts and sitting at the wide base of sheltering tree was someone in a bright orange jacket. For a split second, he thought it was Stretch sitting huddled over there; not too many other people around here chose to dress like they were in search of a fucking crosswalk to guard.

A blink and a closer look proved it was a trick of sight, not that Red was that far off. Turned out to be Andy, the honey bun’s shorter platonic soulmate was the one parked alone in the snow. Kid was sitting with his head resting on his updrawn knees, his arms wrapped around ‘em and Red’d seen enough people in that position to recognize when someone was havin’ a cry. ‘course, usually it was his fault…

Anyway.

What he should do is just keep on walking. Kid hadn’t seen him and whatever his troubles were, there were plenty of other shoulders out there he could spill ‘em on. Hell, Blue might kick his own brother out of the way to rip his damn shirt off so Jeff could use it as a Kleenex and apologize for not washin’ it first.

Red had enough on his plate, thanks, and he didn’t need anyone feeding him whatever was the daily special for angst.

Keep on walking, yep, that was what he should do. Maybe even take a shortcut, head on back home where Sans was probably still curled up on the sofa in the same grungy shorts he’d worn the day before, socks sagging down to puddle at his ankles and a smear of ketchup on the front of his t-shirt. No one was ever gonna paint him like one of their French girls and that was fine by Red. Let his bro keep the pretty one, Red had a claim on the asshole, even had his name on ‘im these days and Sans wore it bold as the brass it was engraved on.

Shoulda, coulda…didn’t. Red heaved out a sigh and stopped. His bro was the one who kept collecting liabilities but fuck if Red hadn’t picked up a coupla weak spots of his own along the way and Handy Andy was one of ‘em.

If Grillby could only see him now, he’d laugh his flaming fucking head off.

So Red took a detour, wandered over in Andy’s direction. The snow was deeper out here, spilling cold into the tops of his boots and why the fuck couldn’t people have a crisis where it was warm? Andy didn’t look up and Red leaned against the tree trunk, grimacing at the chill leaking through his jacket as he struck a match against the rough bark.

That got him a startled gasp and Jeff jerked, looking up at him with a tearstained face and red-rimmed eyes.

Red worked on lighting a fresh cigar, wondered idly if he's gonna have to arrange some kind of 'accident'. Better not be Antwan making the kid cry, 'cause if he had to murder his bro's best friend, it'd be a lot of damn work; he’d need to make that case airtight, Edge always gotta be so suspicious. Trained baby bro too well in that.

But patience was asking too fucking much and his feet were cold, so Red asked gruffly, "so what's the problem, kid?"

“Nothing,” Jeff said, sniffling,

“uh huh. just rehearsing for the big play, is that it?”

He was quiet for a long moment and Red didn’t say another word, only smoked his cigar and let the silence crawl up Andy’s spine, prickling like a sin until he finally blurted, “My mom called.”

“that so,” Red said, indifferently. Leaving the door open and as suspected, Jeff blundered right on through it.

“My dad had a heart attack and he's in the hospital,” Jeff said. A fresh wash of tears fell down his cheeks and he wiped them impatiently away on his sleeve. “She said he’s stable and he doesn’t want to see me, but she wanted to let me know.”

“sounds like a bitch move right there.” He snuck a glance and saw the protest rising on Jeff’s face in a ‘don’t call my mom’ a bitch sort of way, watched as it faded.

“Maybe it was,” Jeff said, low. He dropped his chin back on his knees, his gaze resting on wide field of untouched snow in front of him. “You’d think I’d be over it. It’s been years since he kicked me out. I want to hate him, you know? Sometimes I even do, but…it's still my dad. It still hurts, every stupid time.”

“uh huh.” Yeah, Red got that. Sometimes all the what ifs and could bes and wishes for things to be different got clotted up with reality. It happened. "so why ain't you with the honey bun or sacked up with your booty call? why are you sittin' here alone like a dumbass?"

Jeff didn't answer for a long minute, his eyes on the ground, until he finally muttered, "Because they'd try to make me feel better."

Ah.

Red only nodded, shifting to stand upright with a grunt. "gotcha. welp, wallow away, kid." He stuck his cigar between his teeth, shoved his hands in his pockets, and started off, tromping back through the snow. A low, muted sob rose behind him and Red paused long to call back, "i'll give ya a coupla hours to get it out of your system, kid. cry, scream, play country music, don't give a shit, but after that, you better be headed someplace more cheerful, you get me?"

"Okay," Jeff sniffled, all pained gratitude and fresh tears. "Thanks, Red."

"don't. i wasn't even here." Red walked out back out to the sidewalk and left the kid to it, headed in the direction of home, and if he pulled up the camera hidden on one corner of the jungle gym on his phone, eh, Jeff should know better by now than to ever think Red wasn't watching.

-finis-

[smalltragedy]

* herman tommeraas, cis man + he/him | you know donovan mercer, right? they’re twenty one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ice boy by corbin like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 15th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

yes hi i did bring ducky back. i promised. please love him jst the same im sry he had 2 go fr a while. 

ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG ABUSE, EYE INJURY, GANG MENTIONS TW.

mini playlist.

father ;; the front bottoms / ice boy ;; corbin / lose yourself ;; eminem / my own worst enemy ;; lit / say it ain’t so ;; weezer / maps ;; yeah yeah yeahs / star stopping ;; lil peep / benz truck ;; lil peep / trauma ;; nf / northern downpour ;; panic! at the disco / your graduation ;; modern baseball.

statistics.

full name: donovan mercer.

nickname(s): ducky.

birthday: march 15th, 1999.

zodiac: pisces sun, aquarius moon, aquarius ascending.

label: the despondent.

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york.

sexuality: bisexual (bt not out).

pinterest.

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

implied abuse tw // their father was not kind, or merciful - and ducky was a runt compared to mercy, small and sensitive and kinder than his brother. weak, and filled with softness, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice - but it didn’t. and it never did.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed. implied abuse end of tw

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

abuse mention // but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be. end of abuse mention

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. he never graduated high school.

abuse mention // anxiety mention // anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

heavy abuse tw // violence tw // it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly.

eye injury // corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse.

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

the mercer brothers have been floating around the north carolina scene for ~5ish years now, trailing after their father who is consistently chasing after their mother with no luck. they’re currently residing in palm motel. can we get a hell yeah?

personality & facts.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be on him harder. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures at the community college, occasionally, or physics, or whatever peeks the small curiosity inside of him.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs and leaves the rest for mercy. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

drug abuse // has a. complicated relationship with benzos n xanax n a various assortment of painkillers. ironic bc he hates drugs due to. his chosen career n wldnt do most of what they sell, bt yknow. this ws inevitable. hates beer bt forces himself 2 drink it bc toxic masculinity probably man idk.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

violence mention // purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted plots.

u look good tonight ... ;; wld love a connection in which he is feeling emotionally compromised n maybe kinda hs a thing w someone bt hes like. very unreliable n kinda ghosting bc he is very afraid n it wld b maybe bad fr them to b anything other than hook ups. cld apply to smth very intensive or smth very surface lvl i’ll take thousands.

palms sweaty ... moms spaghetti ... ;; ppl tht ducky just hs fkn brawled. cld b anybody fr any reason. ducky prob lost n he prob lost on purpose bt also ur muse cld maybe kick ducky’s ass? cld b a fake fight cld b a real fight. cld b a npc fight n then ur muse cn patch up ducky? possibilities endless. maybe they hv a nice spaghetti dinner n both of them r both bruised up frm their fight. sometimes fights end in spaghetti dinners. thanks eminnem or whatever.

own worse enemy... ;; ducky needs friends bt hes bad at making friends n sometimes he fks shit up by pushing ppl away n self sabotaging n being a major cunt n sometimes he just ghosts bt hes always very remorseful abt it? this cld b a very like. up n down friendship of any type its just. where do they stand. r they friends. r they enemies. r they lovers? probably not lovers. prob just platonic. but still its the thought tht counts.

and also ;; literally just like. anything. clients who buy off of him n like. casual friends n casual enemies n casual hookups. ppl hes ghosted. ppl hes embarrassed himself in front of. maybe ur muse tries to get ducky to socialize or maybe ducky is like. u are too much fr me. n ur muse runs off crying. endless possibilities all u hv to do is call this number now.

[taejeonie]

what if jaemin and taehee dated…

YAY OUR KDRAMA COUPLE

honestly i think that this would start off as a blur to them

like jaemin didn’t even know when or why he suddenly liked taehee

once he fully acknowledged his feelings,,it felt like they were there from the start

and unconsciously, he would have the audacity to FLIRT with her

the dreamies were all video calling, mark and taehee on the other end of the line due to 127’s schedules

hyuck was talking about something when jaemin suddenly said

“noona, you look so pretty today”

the other dreamies were completely thrown off

“that’s so sudden,” mark said while laughing

most of the dreamies has surprised looks on, meanwhile hyuck was baffled

taehee: ahh thank you

she said it as if it’s nothing,,,like this was completely normal she’s still shy tho

and ever since that day, jaemin made a silent pact with himself to get taehee to fall for him

so he sends her good morning texts and good night texts

texts in the middle of the day asking if she ate already, or if she’s taking care of herself properly

these surprised taehee at first but soon she learned to get along with it thinking it was like,,to fit their dynamic of being kdrama people

sooner or later, jaemin would call her and ask her to meet in front of their dorms so that they could go eat in the cafe taehee wanted to go to

“on second thought, i’ll go to your dorm so you don’t have to go to mine”

“but i could just-“

“i don’t want you to get tired from walking to our dorm”

“jaemin, your dorm is literally-“

“no this is final i am going to your dorm and you won’t move a step until i get there”

“…..okay”

“alright see you!”

when the line cuts she looks to mark beside her like (・・;)?

“is it just me or jaemin’s acting really weird these days?”

“hmm?”

“do you think…do you think he,” then she moves her eyebrows up and down like in a weird way

and mark gets all the more confused

from another person’s pov, this situation would look rather comical due to the fact mark has no absolute clue of what taehee’s referring to and why was she moving her face like that

and then taehee leans closer to mark and whispers, “do you think he likes me?”

then mark’s like Ö

“you think he lIKES YOU?”

“nO! he’s just so weird we never go this far with our jokes”

then there was a pause on both ends until mark says, “well do you like him?”

“idontknow??”

“WHAT”

then there’s a knock on the door and both of their eyes widen

“that’s jaemin,” taehee hurriedly whispers

“tHAT’S JAEMIN??”

then before they know it taehee’s already out of the door sweating buckets- wait why is she nervous

maybe bc ur starting to acknowledge ur feelings dumbass

“why are you so red?”

“im what?”

“are you sick?,” then jaemin tried to check if she was hot but taehee pulled away before he could touch her forehead

“im not i was just,,,doing stuff with mark”

jaemin’s face falls slightly when he hears this but then proceeds to ask, “oh? what stuff?”

“we fixed our room- enough about mark. let’s go!!”

unconsciously, taehee grabbed jaemin’s arm and whined like a baby which the latter found ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE.

he scrunches his nose at her before pinching her cheek, “alright (*´꒳`*) whatever my cutie noona says (*´꒳`*)”

then taehee felt her face get hotter when she heard ‘my’

jaemin interlaced their hands together and although he’s done it a thousand times before, it made taehee the most flustered person to ever exist at this moment

when they got outside, taehee let go of jaemin’s hand, causing him to pout

and he made sure she was gonna see his frickin pout.

“where’s the car? ( ^ω^ )”

“actually, we’re walking (⌒▽⌒)”

“we’RE WHAT”

“kidding!!! we’re taking the bus stop over there,,”

“oh okay, you looked serious-“

“i don’t want my baby to get tired (*^ω^*)”

never did taehee know that there would come a day where she wanted to punch jaemin in the face

it was strike #3 baby

now the actual cafe date!!!

taehee would get stuff like red velvet cupcake, chocolate cake, hot choco,,,stuff like that

and jaemin goes, “we went here to this nice café just for you to order that? we have those in our cafeteria”

“you’ll know the cafe is good if simple snacks like these are good”

“whatever you say”

jaemin would also take lots of pictures of her using his phone, then he sets his favorite one as his lockscreen

“aaaaa”

“no”

“aaaaaaa”

“jaemin, no”

“taehee-ssi, the cake isn’t going to eat itself”

“obviously,,,im gonna feed myself”

“but i want to be romantic so aaaaa”

she gives in anyways

when she gets home mark was like, “so you did enjoy your date”

“shut up it’s not a date”

“dUDE DO YOU EVEN SEE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW???”

so mark knows taehee has feelings for jaemin

best friend tingz

as for jaemin, i think that the first person to know

would be renjun

like days after their cafe date, renjun would see jaemin’s lockscreen and JOKINGLY say

“you like taehee noona, don’t you?”

“maybe i do”

…..

“you sound so serious you weirdo”

“its the truth”

renjun: chokes on his water

meanwhile jaemin’s just going through his camera for all the taehee pics

so when renjun looks at what’s causing jaemin’s fond smile

he’s like “yeah this kid is nuts”

there were times where jaemin would randomly buy stuff for taehee

like clips and hair ties

coffee

127 and dream were together in the practice room once again to prepare for the year end concert

taehee was on the floor talking with hyuck

and when hyuck’s about to kiss taehee on the cheek that’s when jaemin steps in

“here’s your coffee, darling (*^o^*)”

hyuck feels something cold against his lips and pulls away in confusion

jaemin pinches taehee’s cheek when she says thank you and walks away

“darling??? that’s new”

“i know. hes so,,,,weird these days i don’t know what’s gotten in to him,,”

pffft

“but he got me coffee so *shrugs*”

“that’s his coffee though how are you not dying”

“no it’s not it’s sweet, here”

“*sips coffee* hmm that is weird”

in reality, jaemin got that type of coffee so he could share with her

jaemin ain’t slick tho

when jaemin walks off mark wiggles his eyebrows like those uncles during christmas and jaemin’s like

“oh no he knows…”

“bUT!!! why does he know?”

“does perhaps,,,,taehee noona have feelings for me too?”

it kept jaemin up and attentive the whole practice schedule

thinking if he should confess or not

days later of jaemin making moves on taehee, taehee felt her feelings grow for jaemin more

and tHEN she starts to worry about the outcomes

“what if jaemin’s just really joking? but if he’s not then we’re kinda fucked? oh no what would the others say”

and she just looked really out of it that it caught mark’s attention

“what’s wrong? you look out of it today”

“mm”

“taehee?”

“mmm”

“is this about jaemin?”

“….no”

mark turns off his phone like the good friend he is and turns to taehee

“you have to stop overthinking”

“what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“will you believe me if i say he does?”

“probably not”

mark smiles amusingly, “you are so stubborn”

“what if the others find out?”

“you’re worrying about that as if you’re already in a relationship”

and taehee gives him like a sad glare that makes mark stop joking around

“if you’re talking about the members, of course they’ll be happy for you both without a doubt. the fans…there will always be a good and bad side of everything taehee. the only thing that matters is how you’re gonna handle it”

taehee goes silent for a moment, thinking

yes, mark IS right. she’s just scared of the consequences

she’ll act on her feelings, but not now

taehee presses her forehead to the side of mark’s face in a loving gesture before standing up and saying thank you

meanwhile jaemin and renjun are planning how jaemin should confess

“i think noona would like it straightforward”

“you mean plain,,,”

“well if you want to have bonus points then i think you should use a pickup line,,like an original one”

“well if it’s for her then i’ll do it then”

“whatever,” renjun thinks jaemin’s too cheesy for him, “but tone it down with your shamelessness,,,i think you’re scaring her”

later in the vlive,,,taehee was kinda out of it

she didn’t notice jaemin was talking

“nooooo i only like noona (*´꒳`*),” he said in aegyo

then mark’s like “really?,” while laughing his ass off in the corner

“really.”

then it’s like one of those movie stills where the male lead *lovingly* looks at the female lead

and taehee’s like ‘oh shit he looks serious’

but then the all but’s come in and shes back to being a chicken about her feelings

later into the night, the dreamies start to head home

as everyone bids their goodbyes, jaemin tries to kiss taehee’s cheek but she pulls away

“….you know you have to stop doing that right?”

“what?,” taehee baby,,you just hurt na jaemin’s feelings :((

“what will others think if they see us like this,,they’re going to think we’re in a relationship. what will your fans say?”

“but we’ve been like this since we were younger…you do this with the others too!!”

“but it’s different with you!”

“noona, can you please explain it properly because i don’t like…i don’t like talking with you as if we’re fighting”

“you’re so sweet and caring and- and…”

jaemin sighs, “and what?”

“jaemin, you don’t know what you’re doing. you’re so loving and i really appreciate it, but tone it down. please?”

jaemin looks down and taehee thinks their relationship is already fucked

sigh

“how can i do that if i like you noona?”

drAMA BOOOMB

“what did you say?”

“i like you more than i should. i want to be your boyfriend, noona, and i’m ready to face whatever outcomes we will go through. i want to hold your hand and tell you i love you before we go to bed,,i want to cook with you and hug you and do all the cringey stuff with you!! i was trying to give you hints the other day but your pretty little head couldn’t get it”

a tear slips from taehee’s eyes making jaemin laugh softly

and he knows, he’s got her already

“huh?,” jaemin wipes her tears away, “why are you crying, baby?”

the pet name makes taehee laugh as she punches him weakly and proceeds to bury her face into his shoulder

“you’re so cheesy, i hate you”

“no you don’t”

“i do”

“you love me,” jaemin wraps his arms around taehee and leans his head on hers

taehee sighs, “okay”

jaemin smiles at her as he pulls away, “so this means you’re my girlfriend now, right?”

“yea ٩( ‘ω’ )و”

AND THEYRE TOGETHER NOW

OH WAIT THIS MEANS THEIR ANNIVERSARY IS DURING NEW YEARS

THATS SO T^T

anyways,,,

i see cheeks kisses happening a LOT more often 

off cam and on cam 

nctzens: they’re just friends!!! ^-^

whenever taehee would pass by, jaemin would suddenly pull her into his lap and taehee would have to struggle for a bit 

“JAEMIN!!”

“JUST FIVE MINUTES PLEASE”

holds hands a lot 

there was this one vlive where jaemin was playing with taehee’s hands 

mark was talking about something,,apparently hyuck saw them being all sweet and lovey dovey 

he wanted to have taehee time too >:(((

so he RIPPED their hands apart and placed his arms around them and did ( ^ - ^ )

speaking of the members knowing,,,

obv renjun and mark would know first

shortly followed by chenji, hyuck, jeno, then the rest of the group respectively 

they all would be super happy for them ofc <33

found it endearing their anniversary is on new years 

the couple would DEFINITELY act cringey just to annoy jisung 

jisung in one of his voice only vlives: “these days jaemin hyung and taehee noona are so weird, REALLY. one day we were in a room together and tHey TalK sO WeiRd!! i had to leave the room”

PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER IS A MUST.

you know that video of a girl holding her bf’s hand while he plays on the keyboard then she lets go of his hand but then the guy pulls the girls hand back and continues playing?

taehee would def do that for fun

but then get SUPER flustered when jaemin grabs her hand back

taehee would be immune to his aegyo

and even when jaemin knows that already he’ll still continue to use it ,,, BUT!!!

there are cheek kisses in the end which taehee will succumb to

jaemin @ taehee : <3 __ <3

RIDIN ERA

TAEHEE WOULD BE SO HYPED

ALSO OBSESSED WITH HIS BLUE HAIR

obsessed to the point that’s all what she’s staring at even if jaemin asks for kisses

“sorry you just look so handsome wow im- wow…..”

JAEMINS AEGYO ON WEEKLY IDOL

taehee would do a live reacting to the dreamies’ aegyo

when it was jaemin’s turn she’d be like ???????

“i can’t believe i d- know this boy…..really”

COFFEE DATES.

coffee dates would be very sweet

if taehee was curious enough she would grow to be immune to jaemin’s coffee

would visit the dreamies a lot more when she’s free even if jaemin tells her she should rest

“noona only came for jaemin hyung :(((“ - park jisung, who is also in need of his noona’s attention

“what?? i love all of the jaemins and non jaemins equally (*´꒳`*)”

“she’s using twitter slang again”

but there are times where jaemin’s really stern and like: don’t come to the dorms u. need. to. REST!!!

so they facetime each other instead!!!

the reason why jaemin would scold her a lot bc he notices taehee falling asleep when she visits them so 1) they don’t get to spend *time* with each other properly 2) she’s not getting the PROPER rest she deserves

therefore jaemin values the health of taehee very much

jaemin would L O V E taking taehee’s pics

would set her as his phone wallpaper AND desktop wallpaper

would def ask her for an album pc (esp. the punch one) and would keep it in his phone case

overall taehee and jaemin would be a vvvv cute couple

it’s like their kdrama-like relationship turned into a LITERAL kdrama,,,except the sad parts

taehee would be very supportive on her part as jaemin would be the literal caring, sweet, cute, lovable boyfriend she needs

he just wants to look out for her ;(

“you know i love you right?”

“yes i know (⌒▽⌒)”

“like really really R E A L L Y love you?”

“i know, jaemin. i hope you know i love you just as much (*´-`)”

“i know that, love. now sleep, you still have an early schedule tomorrow”

“okay,,i love you…goodnight, baby”

“good night, my love. i’ll see you in my dreams (*´ω｀*)”

[fanficsrusz]

Lure The Baba Yaga Part One - John Wick mini series

A/n: this was requested by anon. It's going to be two parts and its an angsty fic because who doesn't love to have their heart wrenched out 😂😂 anyway, i hope this is what you wanted when you requested it 😅

Summary: John and y/n were friends untill John went missing. After many years, y/n soon finds him but his job will put her in danger.

Masterlist

___________

John Wick was a man of mystery. He was there in a flash and gone in a sound. 

Most people feared him, avoided his path at all costs, scared of what might happen if they came face to face with the Baba Yaga.

Many people knew him for his skill set, how deadly he was with his bare hands alone. 

However, y/n knew him as the boy who always saved her a seat on the school bus, always shared his cookies with her in the canteen, always helped her with her homework. 

Y/n had known John since she was about 13, having gone to school with him. They were best friends and did everything together. 

As the pair grew up, it was inevitable that one was going to fall for the other and y/n had drawn the short straw in that challenge.

 She had remembered the day she fell for him exactly, the way he sat on his bed studying, his hair messy and his soul pure, it was such a simple moment but he meant so much to her. 

She felt her heart skip a beat and that's all she needed for her to fall for him. 

She had tried to shake away the feelings she had found for the boy, scared that she might ruin the relationship they had built over the years, but the feelings never left, no matter how hard she tried. 

How would they when he was her Knight in shining armour who defended her from the bullies and looked out for her every day of her life. 

On his 18th birthday, y/n had finally mustered up enough courage to tell him how she felt. She had made a photo album for him, made of various pictures of them together along with a letter detailing her feelings for him.

When she made it to his house, she was heartbroken to find that he was not there. Nothing was there. He had gone, left her without saying a single world. 

Y/n waited for him to return. She searched for him, even called the police asking if they knew anything, but no one could give her the answers she wanted. Her heart yearned to have him back, if not as a lover but as a friend, her only friend. 

 4 years later and y/n had finally found him. 

 She saw him sitting on a bench in the park, her heart skipped a beat and she felt tears burn her eyes. 

She wanted to run up to him and slap him for leaving her without a word and then kiss him because she missed him so badly.

"John" her voice was barely audible but he had managed to hear her. 

She saw how he visible stiffened as he recognised her voice and he slowly turned. 

He looked the same but somehow different. His once lovable eyes were now replaced with anger and rage for the world, like he knew the secrets which hid behind the facade of rainbows and sunlight. 

He no longer dressed in the baggy shirt and shorts like he did in school, but in a 3 piece suit which screamed power. 

This wasn't y/n's john.

"y/n?" his voice was cold and his eyes widened as his past came back to haunt him. He took in her appearance and how little she had changed since he had left her. 

In all honesty, he didn't want to leave her all those years ago but his life was meant for something else. 

John swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat as he scrambled to stand in front of y/n, not being able to compose himself like THEY had taught him to. How could he pretend to be something else to y/n?

"John is this really you?" her hand shook as she reached out to touch his face, scared that he might disappear when she finally touched him. 

John leaned into her touch, he had missed the feeling of her soft warm hands against his cold skin. 

"yes. It's me, it's your giant" y/n laughed at the nickname she had given his all those years ago. As he spoke, she saw how the act of this tough guy broke and she could begin to see the real John peek through. 

"where did you go?" she asked quietly and john pulled her to sit next to him on the bench. 

"why did you leave me, John?." y/n's voice broke slightly as the tears threaten to fall as the anxiety, self-loaf and despair came rushing back. For so long she had blamed herself for john leaving, thinking she had done something wrong. 

John held her hand in his, the size difference noticeable as he squeezed it reassuringly. 

"y/n, you know who my father is. You know why i had to leave". John sounded defeated as he spoke and y/n sighed. 

Of course she knew why he went, she just didn't want it to be true, she wanted him to have better. 

Y/n was the only person john trusted to tell about the underground world of mafia bosses and assassins; the world that John was now apart of. 

"so…do you-um- kill people?" y/n tried to joke but john could see that she was scared, scared of him. 

The one person who he never wanted to hurt was afraid of him. He could tell by the way her grip tightened in his hand, the way she shifted awkwardly as she sat and more obviously, the way  she couldn't bare to look him in the eyes. 

"yes. I kill people, but they're the bad guys, people who deserve it" 

He couldn't lie to her, even if it meant hurting her. Maybe he wanted to hurt her, that way she would be scared away and she would be safe. 

He watched as y/n thought for a few seconds before a smile was etched on her face. 

"john, i know i should be scared of you, but I know you, the real you. I know you will never hurt me so i'm not scared-" 

That was a lie

"-I'm just glad you're back. I missed you giant" 

That was the truth. 

The next month was spent with john coming and going at all different hours of the day. Sometimes he would come with food and sometimes he would come with deep wounds that y/n would clean for him. 

It was 3am, john was at y/n's doorstep blooded and close to death. 

He had come to her with worse injuries before but it still scared her to see him so badly hurt. 

Between her shaky hands and her practically passing out from the stress, it was more like john was taking care of her, but he had managed to talk her through the simple process of stitching him up. 

"why did you come to me to stitch you up? You should have gone to someone professional" y/n ran her hand over her face, a small amount of john's blood now on her cheek. 

John shrugged and struggled to stand. 

"you're the only one I trust enough at the moment". Y/n froze as she felt her heart swell at the words he spoke so easily. 

John moved to sit next to her on the sofa, a small hiss escaping his lips as he pulled at the stitches. 

Y/n leaned her head on his shoulder once he got comfortable and she reached out for his hand, tangling them together. She closed her eyes as she relaxed next to him, pretending that they were both careless teenagers again. 

That's when y/n felt it underneath her grasp, the cold metal of a ring on his finger. Opening her eyes she took in the sight of a gold wedding ring on his finger and her heart sank. 

"john?" she called out as she lifted their still enlaced hands to take a better look at it. 

John looked at her confused and she just stared at the ring, unable to form words and hoping he would just understand. 

John looked at y/n and how her eyes were glazed over, her attention on his finger. Flicking his eyes to their hands, he felt guilt wash over him. 

"Oh don't be mad but im married. It will be 4 months soon". 

Y/n wasn't mad, just saddened. Saddened because he didn't think to tell her and saddened that she never got the chance to tell him how she truly felt. 

She forced a smile onto her face as she coaxed herself into being happy for John, it's the least he deserved. 

"I'm not mad, I'm so happy. Tell me all about her. How did you meet?" 

Y/n noticed how his previous stiff demeanor was gone and replaced with a relaxed and happy one as he spoke about his wife. 

 y/n zoned out as he spoke, unable to focus on his words as her heart broke into millions of pieces. 

She only nodded as he spoke,  picking up a few things about her. Her name, Helen and that he loved her.

She had lost her second chance at telling him how she felt, but she was not going to lose john for a second time so she decided to bite the bullet and smile. 

She repeated the same sentence in her mind, 'do it for him' 

"she sounds lovely, john. I'm so happy for you" she hugged john a little to hard as she congratulated him but he didn't have to be a trained assassin to tell when y/n was lying, she was his best friend for many years and he still cared about her. 

Maybe he cared a little too much about her. 

After an hour of talking, john had left her to go back home and y/n finally let herself completely relax.

Y/n watched as john drove away in the pouring rain, the downfall hiding her own tears. She lifted her hand as she waved goodbye to john and possibly any chance of her calling him hers. 

Y/n let out a sigh of relief as she saw him turn the corner and she was once again alone. 

Y/n moved to walk away, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed so she could forget about the pain in her chest, but something caught her attention. Someone was moving outside. 

The rain and lack of light made it hard to make out a clear image. She squinted to try and get a better look, confused as to who would be standing outside in the rain at 4am. 

The longer she stared, the more detail she could make out. It was a man, very tall and wielding a gun in hand, the metal of it glinting in the pale moonlight. 

Anyone would be scared if they saw a man outside with a gun but Knowing of the world that John was involved in made things worse, y/n was petrified. 

Y/n was frozen in place, not knowing what to do. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, quickly dialling johns number. He would know what to do. 

A pounding at the door stopped her from pressing the call button and she jumped. Looking back out the window she could no longer see the figure and her stress level was through the roof. 

A loud voice soon broke the silence. 

"Let me in" she recognised the voice that echoed through the wooden door and y/n let out a breath of relief. It was John's voice. 

Jogging over to the door, she flung it open ready to tell him about the strange man across the street. 

"John. Thank God, there was a-" 

Her breath caught in her throat as she didn't recognise who was at the door. It wasn't john. 

A tall burly man with blonde hair and dressed in a suit stood before her, a smirk on his face and a recorder in hand. 

Y/n couldn't comprehend what was going on, she had heard johns voice. So where was he? 

The man rewinded the recorder before pressing the play button. The familiar voice of john saying "let me in" came from the device. 

"I would have thought John told you to always check who was at the door before opening it. It's a shame really, i was hoping i could find Helen and get to john that way. But you will do just fine, y/n. You see, the baba yaga is weak when it comes to those he cares about, meaning we can kill him" 

Y/n stared at him as she gulped, trying to decide what she should do. 

Without a moment hesitation she tried to push the door shut, but the man was quicker as he pushed him way in. 

Y/n's legs burned as she pushed herself to run through the house and away from the intruder. 

Y/n felt a pressure in her leg, stopping her in her tracks as pain shot through her body. The echo of a gunshot drowned out by her beating heart loud in her ears. 

She fell to the ground in agony, a scream escaping from her mouth as blood began to pool around her. She looked down at her thigh which was now covered in blood, her fast pulse speeding up the process of her bleeding out. Her hands shook as she grazed over the wound. 

The shouts of a man speaking in a foreign language pulled her out of her daze and her adrenaline pushed her to continue to move, to escape. 

She tried to stand, the pain unbearable but the risk of being caught was far worse than the pain she was experiencing. 

Limping, she moved to the back door, hoping to escape and get someone's help. 

She was inches from it, escape was within her grasp but luck was not in her favour. 

Her hair was yanked back with force and she was pulled to the ground. 

She let out a scream as her leg twisted awkwardly from the counter force. 

The man stood above her and looked down pitifully. 

"you shouldn't have run. You made me shoot you and the boss is not going to be happy about receiving damaged goods" 

"please" she sobbed out "what do you want from me? I can give you money if you want. Please just let me go" the man laughed deeply at her futile efforts of bargaining. 

"we want John and you will bring him right to us". 

Y/n let out a whimper as her hopes of waking up from the nightmare slipped away. 

"so i'm sorry i have to do this but we need to move this along. This may hurt" The man offered her a genuine apologetic smile before delivering one swift punch to y/n's face, rendering her unconscious and at the mercy of this man.

Tbc

____

Taglist (just ask to be tagged)

@gwenebear @celestiaelisia @blondieee-me @harrisongslimited

[jichew]

bang yedam ♡ soft love song

pairing: gender-neutral character x bang yedam

genre: fluff

a/n: so this is kind of different than the bullet point fics i usually write, so i’m kind of iffy on posting this,,, but i’ve been wanting to write a rocker!yedam fic since i heard hard lov song so here we go!! i actually based this off of the vibe of hard love song, but then i read the lyrics halfway through writing this and i realized how angsty it was?? so i just ended up doing this and im kind of basing it off of yedam’s song u. enjoy!!

bang yedam. a name you’d only ever associate with good things. things like color coded notes and perfect grades and being early to class. a star studded student whom you’d only ever spot between the worn shelves of the library or at the front of your calculus class. there was an air of intrigue that surrounded bang yedam. a pronounced sense of anonymity, one could argue. he was top of the class, that much was evident. but everything else seemed a mystery. and it was almost like no one seemed to notice. except you.

perhaps it was for those reasons and more that you found the corners of your lips turning up as you entered the dimly lit bar that friday night. because on the stage, a guitar positioned around his torso, stood bang yedam. you had always considered the possibility that bang yedam lived a double life. something like hannah montana. straight a student by day, rock band guitarist by night. that had a nice ring to it, as well.

you couldn’t help but notice the air of confidence that surrounded him. this doesn’t go to say that bang yedam was not a confident person. it’s more so the idea that perpetual sweater paws and bangs that are long overgrown don’t exactly scream confidence. but under the neon blue lights, it seemed as if bang yedam was the only person in the room. perhaps, the only person in the world. his bangs were parted at the middle, slightly matted to his forehead with sweat. his eyes almost seemed to sparkle under the lighting, or perhaps that was merely because this was your first time not seeing them behind a curtain of bangs. the sleeveless top adorning his torso highlighted his biceps, toned with the constant strumming of his guitar. maybe it was a bit superficial of you to take into account his looks. then again, it’s only fair to appreciate a man who looks so ethereal while playing guitar.

but most of all, you were enraptured by his voice. a sweet sound that rose and fell at all the right moments. a unique tone that made everyone stop what they were doing and look in awe upon the teenage boy on stage. a melody that seemed to encase your body in its warmth, tendrils entering every accessible part of you and rewiring your brain to only think “bang yedam, bang yedam, bang yedam”. and maybe something in the air allowed for him to hear your thoughts, because right then, he lifted his head. between his drenched bangs and the throng of people scattered in front of you, bang yedam found your eyes. and he winked.

                                                           ~

it wasn’t until later that night, after the soles of your feet had long been worn out from dancing, that you decided to seat yourself at the bar. your friends were still going strong on the dance floor, attempting their own rendition of swan lake as a folk tune played from the speakers above. and perhaps you would’ve gotten back up to join them if it wasn’t for the presence that took up space in the seat next to you. looking over, it seemed as if bang yedam was a juxtaposition personified - silver hoops lining his ears and biceps on display, yet his face wore a shy smile, head tilting to cover his eyes with his bangs yet again. it was an endearing sight, you could admit that much.

“uh.. hey.. you’re in my calc class right?” he asked, with the slightest tilt of his head, body leaning towards you. you almost giggled at the shy tone of his voice. it was cute.

“yup.. thats me”

“ahh.. “ he awkwardly bobbed his head in what seemed to be a nod “well my name’s bang yedam”

“i know who you are” you finally let out a giggle, head turning to fully face him. his mouth was slightly open, eyes wide. and suddenly he was leaning back, head fervently nodding, almost as if you had just said the most interesting thing he had heard all day. you found this cute as well.

a drop of silence fell between you two. in which the both of you chose to stare straight ahead, one thinking of what to say next and one quite content just sitting idle. it wasn’t awkward, though. more so the silence that occurs when snowflakes blanket the ground in white. a silence indeed, but an easy silence. a comfortable white noise.

“so... can i get you something to drink?” he suddenly turned towards you, head shaking so his bangs allowed for a sliver of his eyes to be visible.

“you know we’re underage right?” you deadpanned.

“ahh... right” he turned his head back to hide the rosy color that slowly found it’s way to his cheeks at the realization of his statement. “you want some water?”

it was at this moment that you knew you liked bang yedam.

                                                           ~

the next six months seemed to pass by in a frenzy of schoolwork, sleep deprivation and too many late nights at the bar. most of all, your next six months were accompanied by none other than bang yedam. after a week or two, you made it a habit to come to the bar every friday to see him and his band play. and every single friday, you both sat side by side at the bar and talked through the night. sometimes he would walk you to the nearest convenience store before he called a taxi for you. other times, on earlier nights, he would walk all the way to the bus and ride to your neighborhood with you, despite his home being in the exact opposite direction.

at first glance, bang yedam seemed cold - an unattainable mystery. he seemed like sharp edges and strict parents and classical music. but oh, how different he actually was. it seemed that the more you hung out with him, the more you realized just how misconstrued your ideas of him actually were.

bang yedam is soft. bang yedam is gummy smiles and checkered sweaters and hot chocolate that’s way too sweet for the average human being. and perhaps food preferences are the best reflector of a person, because bang yedam is too sweet for his own good. he doesn’t mind spending hours at the library teaching you how to integrate. and he doesn’t mind buying you a coffee every wednesday morning, never forgetting how you like your order. he also cries a lot. like the time he found out his friend was being redistricted to another school, he cried for hours into a vat of chocolate ice cream while you let your fingers comb through his hair. (it was kind of funny, because, after about a week of phone calls, his friend ended up staying at the same school anyway)

bang yedam is also confident. all combat boots and leather jackets and shiny electric guitars. if you didn’t consider him such an integral part of your life, you would probably be another fangirl of his and call him hot. but then again, having a crush on him wasn’t any better.

                                                             ~

you wouldn’t consider it to be a surprise - your crush on bang yedam that is. he was just one of those boys that was easy to crush on. the perfect mix of kind and attractive and smart and all things in between. often times, you allowed yourself to daydream of the prospect that he liked you back. a daydream in which the notes he left in your backpack were more than just reminders to ‘get your ass out of bed and do work’ and the smiles he sent you from the stage were more than just friendly. but more often than not, you would shut down these thoughts, because having bang yedam as a friend is something you wouldn’t compromise for love.

and perhaps, for that very reason, you found it odd that bang yedam invited you to the club that friday night. you had always thought that a silent agreement had formed between you two that you would be present at his gigs every friday, so when you received a text that read “be at the bar, friday at 6 pm xx -yedam” you were a bit confused. nonetheless, you zipped your boots up to your ankles and walked the distance to the bar. opening the door, you were surprised when you were met with complete darkness. checking the time on your phone, you found that it was only 5:56 PM. the bar shouldn’t be closed at this time?

before you could move to do or say anything, a single blue light came on above the stage. and standing below, guitar in tow, was none other than bang yedam. it was silent for a second and you couldn’t quite make out his face under the dim lighting. as you were about to say something, a light melody started playing from his guitar. that’s when bang yedam started singing. there was something a little more ethereal about him tonight. perhaps it was the fact that he was standing on stage, yet he was uncharacteristically wearing an oversized sweater. perhaps it was the tone of his voice, something softer and sweeter, as if he wanted you to hang on to the end of his every word. perhaps it was the lyrics that flowed from his mouth, a story of a love that blooms like the flowers in the spring.

and as these words dripped from his lips like honey, you found that same smile tugging at the corners of your own. so when the last notes of the song had died out, you hopped onto the stage. and in a small twist of courage, you leaned on your tip toes and kissed bang yedam.

[ultraspideysense-blog]

Just One Dance Pt. 1 (Peter Parker Imagine)

request: “Can you do an imagine with Peter and Reader where they are just messing around until te reader says "I will give you 50 bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we're together.They always ask if I'm dating and I can't have that conversation again." Peter says yes they go they do a great job but Peter ends up liking her she does to and they end up a relationship. Sorry it us so long thanks you ! Love your writing!!!” (requested by anon)

short summary: after you find yourself making a hasty bet with flash about getting a date for homecoming, you need Peter to help keep your end of the bargain. (this will be a multipart series partly bc i’m tired and partly bc i wanna develop this more)

length: 2k words 

warnings: some swearing & it’s so teen angsty i’m sorry i truly am aaaa sorry 

A/N: i kinda loosely followed the request bc like it really gave off a “im in my mid-20s and my old fashioned ass fam thinks ppl need to be married by now” so i kinda edited a bit to be more realistic amongst teens hope it worked soz it’s short but it’s gonna be a series

You were always stubborn. A lot of people called you a bitch for it, but you just called it taking no shit from anyone, and never backing down from a challenge.

So when Flash started running his big mouth during homeroom at your expense, it took everything in you not to smack him in the face. You tried to ignore it at first, as you worked on your calculus homework, you truly did. But Flash always liked to get a rise out of you because he knew he could get under your skin.

“And here we are, a mere 48 hours before homecoming, and a true tragedy lays in our midst. The resident ice queen, Y/N, is the only one in the school without a date,” Flash said dramatically to his group of friends.

Rolling your eyes and immersing yourself in the world of integrals, you gritted your teeth and tried to tune him out like you usually do. But he wasn’t finished.

“I mean, it’s a miracle that she hasn’t frozen the entire student body with her gaze like Elsa or some shit,” he joked. His group of friends laughed at his lame joke as you dropped your pencil on your homework.

“Why don’t you just shut it Flash?” you said, a death glare making its way onto your face.

“If that’s your special, twisted way of asking me out I’m gonna have to say no, babe,” Flash said with a smirk on his face. You glared at him with disgust.

“As if I’d want to take your ratty ass to homecoming. I think I would actually rather be run over by a bus. It really does sound like a more pleasant time,” you fired back.

“I doubt you could even get anyone to go to homecoming with you even if you tried. Everyone’s too scared to come within 10 feet of you anyway aside from Michelle, you’re worse than the plague,” he said with a mock shudder.

“Way to use an outdated joke from the 1400s,” you muttered with a dismissive wave.

"Still doesn’t change the fact that nobody would dare to go to homecoming with you,” he sneered. You scoffed.

“Please, it’d be much easier for me to get a date than you. At least I wouldn’t have to beg and plead someone like you did.” Flash’s confident demeanor slightly wavered for a moment before he quickly regained his cocky attitude.

“Alright then, Y/L/N, if you can somehow get some actual creature that goes to our school to go to homecoming with you, this $100 bill in my wallet is yours. And if you fail, you owe me $100,” Flash said with a wicked grin, his hand outstretched to shake in order to seal the deal. “And Michelle doesn’t count.”

You ignored it and merely nodded, determination in your eyes. “You’re on, Thompson.”

The bell rang signaling the end of homeroom, and you shoved your abandoned calculus homework into your backpack. Shooting one last glare at Flash, you exited the room and moved through the masses in the hallway to make it to your next class.

When you got to PE at the end of the day, Coach Wilson had everyone pair off to do sit ups. You naturally gravitated towards Michelle, one of your few friends and one of the few people that wasn’t immediately put off by your less than sunny exterior.

The two of you had a silent agreement to always stick to the far right corner of the gym, where Coach Wilson never seemed to look, so you could just sit and do nothing in peace. Some days the two of you would talk, other days you’d leave Michelle to her book and you’d do some homework. Today was a day for talking.

“Did you finish the calculus homework for tomorrow?” you asked Michelle. She nodded.

“Barely,” Michelle replied with a roll of her eyes. “This homework’s getting more and more ridiculous.” she said with a shake of her head.

The small talk continued for a few more minutes before you felt the need to bring up your small, somewhat expensive dilemma.

“So I need a date to homecoming,” you sighed. Michelle raised one of her eyebrows in curiosity.

“I made a stupid bet with Flash and to make a long story short I need a date for Friday or I’m about to be $100 poorer than usual,” you said with a grimace.

“You never do back down from a challenge do you?” Michelle asked with a grimace. “I’ll go as your date, problem solved.”

You shook your head. “Terms of the bet, I can’t take you. Has to be somebody else.” Michelle looked at you pensively, then took a brief scan of the students in the gym.

You layed down on your back, fiddling with a loose thread on your shorts as Michelle continued her search. You’d been thinking of available, decent people and drawing up a mental list, but kept running into a wall. Brandon from Chemistry had the flu. Paula from English already had a date. And so on with differing excuses for each person.

“What about Peter?” Michelle suggested after a period of silence. You raised yourself up into a sitting position.

“Parker?” you asked slowly. Michelle nodded at you, gesturing her head in his general direction. He was partnered up with his friend Ned, doing a set of sit ups with ease. You cocked your head to the side wondering when the shy nerd had bulked up as the rest of the class struggled.

“Really?” you asked, considering it for a moment. He was alright if your memory served well, but you’ve never actually had a conversation with him, or seen him outside of any of the classes you had together.

“Yes, really,” Michelle replied. “He doesn’t have a date, and Ned does, so he’d be awkwardly third wheeling the whole time. And everyone knows he’s been pining after Liz, but she’s already got a date. So that sort of leaves him at a stalemate,” she explained.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you considered your other options. You sure as hell weren’t asking any upperclassmen or any freshmen for that matter, and out of the sophomores your options were very limited. And out of those options, Michelle was right. Peter did seem to be the most desirable candidate, if you could even call him that.

“I guess I’ll ask him,” you said, slightly defeated. It wasn’t as if you had a real problem with Peter, but he wasn’t exactly the type of person you saw yourself hanging out with. In fact, you couldn’t remember if the two of you had even held a conversation before. But by the end of gym class you strengthened your resolve, and told Michelle you’d meet her at her locker afterwards so the two of you could catch the train together.

Peter was huddled closely by Ned, the two of them deep in conversation as they made their way out of the gym. You jogged a bit to catch up to them, doing a miniature prayer to the gods that Peter would say yes to your request.

“Hey, Parker,” you called out confidently. Inside you were quaking a bit, but you ignored it as you saw both his and Ned’s heads turn around in confusion.

“Y/N?” Peter asked carefully, his best friend standing silently next to him. He looked around as if there was some possibility that you were talking to somebody else.

“Yeah, I’m talking to you,” you said with a slight laugh as he finally made eye contact with you. Now that you had his attention, the words seemed to be stuck on your tongue. You’d never actually asked anyone out before and it was proving to be harder than you anticipated.

Peter saw your worried facial expression. “Is everything alright? You don’t look too well,” he started. His eyes widened for a moment. “Not that you look ugly or anything, honestly on the contrary you’re very pretty.” His eyes widened again as Ned hit him softly on the arm, a signal to tell him to stop talking. 

You didn’t even register his stumbled, scattered response as you tried to get the words out of your mouth. You were normally confident in anything and everything you set your mind to, but right now it felt like there was word vomit in your mouth itching to break free but couldn’t. Another awkward pause ensued until the words came barreling out of your mouth at a rapid pace.

“This is probably going to sound really stupid and you’ll probably say no or something but would you possibly maybe kind of, sort of want to go to homecoming with me?” you said quickly, all in one breath. Your face turned beet red as you awaited a response from him.

He cocked his head quizzically as did Ned, who was still standing next to him. 

“W-what?” he asked, not quite hearing everything that you said. He made out the word “homecoming,” but he wanted to make sure that you were actually asking him out.

“Did you want to go to homecoming with me? If you don’t have a date already,” you inquired, a bit slower this time. His mouth opened and closed a few times, an adorable smile making its way onto his features before he could formulate a proper response in English.

“I, uh,” he started slowly. You were hanging on to his every word, it felt like an out of body experience to be this nervous. Your tough exterior was whittling in the face of adversity, something that rarely happened, especially where feelings were concerned. 

“He would love to,” Ned finished for him. Peter nodded quickly and gave you a thumbs up as he shot a grateful look at his best friend. Relief flooded your features.

“Okay,” you said softly. He nodded again and gave you a grin. Ned looked like he was ready to burst with excitement.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He nodded at you again as Ned started to lead him away towards the boys locker room to change.

You gave him a small nervous smile as he shyly waved at you while walking away. As soon as Ned thought they were out of earshot, he let out a triumphant yelp and started shaking Peter by the shoulders.

“Dude, you actually have a date for homecoming!” he all but squealed. You heard every word of it, but decided not to call either of them out on it as you exited on the opposite end of the gym. Peter muttered something in response, but you couldn’t make out what exactly he said. Even though it was an impromptu proposal, you were still kind of...excited at the prospect of going with him? 

As you opened the double doors to walk the path to your locker, Michelle was waiting for you on the other side instead of at her locker.

“You saw and heard everything didn’t you?” you asked her. She nodded. You rolled your eyes, not surprised that your ever observant best friend had stuck around to see you make a fool of yourself firsthand. She’d never judge you or call you out on it though.

“Why didn’t you tell him it was a bet?” she asked you, a slight frown gracing her face. You stopped walking as you realized what you had just done. 

“It didn’t...come up?” you offered. You truly hadn’t meant to keep that a secret from Peter, but in the midst of your nerves that was exactly what happened. Your heart started to drop a bit as you thought about how excited Ned looked, and how flustered Peter was when he accepted.

“I didn’t mean to not tell him,” you trailed awkwardly. “I’ll tell him next time I see him,” you finished with certainty. Michelle gave you a look.

“You know it’ll be a lot harder to tell him later rather than doing so when you asked him?” she explained. You gave her a pointed look.

“Of course I know that, like I said it wasn’t intentional to leave out the fact that I was asking him because of a bet,” you said defensively. Michelle put up her hands in a mock surrender as the two of you made your way down the empty hallways.

“I’ll tell him tomorrow,” you promised out loud, more so to yourself than to your best friend.

permanent tag list: @searvhing @curly-haired-crisp @werido-fangirl @dreaming-of-the-lost @nightviolet @sunshine-raee @bitsyb21 @naybeirao @thespidersman @themusicorthemisery @call-me-tears @ephemereal @spooder-tom @buckysbumpkin @pvnksy

sorry the beginning kinda sucked and also so did all of this but anyway lmk what u think & pls feel free to berate me LOL if u wanna be on my permanent tag list lmk and i’ll post part 2 when i get the time to write it love u guys

[bold]

Boy on the Bike

Read it on AO3!

Summary: Jeremy thinks he might be going crazy. That might be okay, though, because Boy on the Bike must be crazier. Crazy enough to get off his bike, wheel it up the driveway of Jeremy’s mom’s house, rest it against the house, walk over to Jeremy, and take a seat on the steps next to him.

“Why are-- What’re you--”

“You were sad. I’d feel bad if I just left you like that.”

(Or: Jeremy Heere, after having a very terrible day, meets Michael Mell, who inexplicably makes him forget there's any bad in the world at all.)

Notes: i had WAY to much fun writing this first chapter... these boys..... theyre gonna fall in love just u wait. this fic is prolly just gonna be jeremy and michael exploring smth neither of them have ever experienced before: ...............friendship (and eventually romance but shh theyre babies theyre just learning). idk how long this is gonna be but im excited for it

anyway i hope u enjoy this ride

Jeremy Heere is having a Pretty Shitty Day.

The morning began with a freshman spilling coffee in Jeremy’s lap on the bus. That should’ve been a warning sign, now that he thinks about it, that it was going to be a Pretty Shitty Day. Between second and third period, Rich Goranski shoved Jeremy into a locker and asked if he’d pissed himself. At lunch, Jeremy accidentally threw his math homework in the trash with the remnants of his lunch and had to go to class empty-handed. He mixed two chemicals incorrectly in Chemistry and the class had to move to a different lab so the room could be cleansed of toxins. At the end of the day, Christine Canigula bumped into him in the hallway and instead of apologizing, Jeremy gaped at her for three seconds before she walked away, probably creeped out of her mind.

After such a shitty day, Jeremy walked home from school and dug fruitlessly through his backpack for fifteen minutes before coming to the conclusion that he left his key in his room. He’s locked out. Of course, the one time he forgets his key is one of the rare instances in which he stays with his mom for the weekend, and that’s already terrible enough in and of itself. Reluctantly, he pulls out his phone (of course he forgot to charge it the night before, so it’s only at 21%) and sends his mom a text to inform her that he’s locked out.

He’s not expecting an answer, though.

It takes a lot for Jeremy to classify a day as a Pretty Shitty Day, because most of his days are spent uncomfortable and awkward as it is. Sometimes, though, things just stack up until he’s teetering on the brink of a panic attack before first period even ends, and that’s when the day earns the Pretty Shitty Day title.

It’s a stupid thing for him to cry over. Jeremy had been locked out of the house before, but now it feels like such a punch in the face. He has a terrible day and he can’t even go hole up in his room for the remainder of it. He feels even more like a loser than he thought was humanly possible as he sits on the front steps of his mom’s house and sniffles into the sleeve of his cardigan.

At the very least, he can take comfort in the fact that the only people who live in his mom’s neighborhood are old, deaf people. There’s no one around to watch him weep to himself like a fucking idiot.

That is, until Jeremy notices someone.

What looks to be a red speck bikes around the corner onto the street Jeremy’s mom lives on. The street is long and vacant, and the speck is rapidly becoming more identifiable. Jeremy doesn’t mean to stare, but he watches nonetheless as the person on the bike becomes a boy with black hair and a big, red hoodie. He’s not sitting on the bike, but rather riding it while standing, like some kind of dangerous hooligan. Jeremy’s eyes linger for a moment too long and the boy on the bike notices him.

Jeremy ducks his head, hiding his face in his knees in hopes that the boy will just keep going and not spare Jeremy’s creepiness another thought. He holds his breath and waits five, six, seven, eight seconds and just when he thinks the biker is gone, he hears a voice: “Hey.”

Jeremy whips his head up and, lo and behold, the boy on the bike is standing in the middle of the street, still straddling his bike, and looking at Jeremy very attentively. Jeremy blinks at him, jaw slack, and Boy on the Bike must take this as an invitation to continue: “Are you okay?”

Is he okay? No. Of course he’s not okay. He’s just had a Pretty Shitty Day, he’s exhausted, he’s sad, and he’s been swallowing a panic attack for the past seven hours. Is he gonna tell all that to some strange teenage boy he’s never spoken to before? Of course not.

“I’m fine,” Jeremy finally says, in spite of how puffy his eyes must look and how evident his trembling hands are.

Boy on the Bike doesn’t bite. “No, you’re not. You’re crying.”

Jeremy brings a hand to his cheek and finds that he really is still crying. He hadn’t even noticed. “I guess I am,” he says, mostly to himself, but Boy on the Bike hears him nonetheless.

“Are you okay?” Boy on the Bike asks again, and Jeremy doesn’t know what the fuck comes over him, but he answers:

“No. N-No, I’m not.”

Jeremy thinks he might be going crazy. That might be okay, though, because Boy on the Bike must be crazier. Crazy enough to get off his bike, wheel it up the driveway of Jeremy’s mom’s house, rest it against the house, walk over to Jeremy, and take a seat on the steps next to him.

“Why are-- What’re you--”

“You were sad. I’d feel bad if I just left you like that.”

Jeremy blinks at him and then, incredulously, bursts into a fit of giggles. Boy on the Bike looks at him, puzzled, and Jeremy wants nothing more than to stop laughing, but he can’t. “I’m sorry--” he gasps. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-- I’m not laughing at you, I promise--”

Boy on the Bike gives him a confused smile and waits for Jeremy’s giggles to die out. “You good, dude?”

“I’m…” Jeremy coughs into his sleeve and squares Boy on the Bike with a look. “I’m J-Jeremy… dude.”

Now it’s Boy on the Bike’s turn to laugh, which he does, hard and unashamed. Surprisingly, though, Jeremy doesn’t feel like he’s being laughed at. It’s not the same sly, under-the-breath giggle people do when they’re talking about him behind his back. It’s not the same harsh, sarcastic laugh bullies do when they’re calling him names. Boy on the Bike has a beautiful, contagious laugh. Jeremy can’t stop looking at him and can’t stop himself from laughing, too.

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy squeaks through his own laughter. His voice cracks on the “up” and that only makes Boy on the Bike laugh even harder. “You’re mean! I thought you were here to make me feel better.”

Only he’s already made Jeremy feel better.

Boy on the Bike eventually sobers up enough to articulate himself. “Jeremy, huh?” he asks, and Jeremy nods. “Nice to meet you, Jeremy. I’m Michael.”

Jeremy smiles at him. Michael. “Nice to meet you, too, Michael.” Michael, Michael, Michael. It’s a good name. “Thanks for, uh, y’know… stopping to talk to me. That was really cool of you. I could’ve been, like, a serial killer or something.”

Michael pulls a face and Jeremy is quick to inform him that he is not, in fact, a serial killer. “I didn’t really peg you as the serial killer type. I don’t know how many serial killers can be found crying and locked out of their houses.”

“How’d you know I was locked out?”

“Well, Jer,” Michael says sagely, but Jeremy can only think about the nickname he’s already been given. “I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m down in the dumps, the only place I wanna cry is buried under a pile of blankets and my own sadness.”

Jeremy sighs longingly. “That’s exactly where I wanna be.”

Michael places a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder (it’s heavy and warm and comforting and Jeremy inexplicably wants to lean his whole body against Michael’s and find out if the rest of him feels that way, too) and gives it a few small rubs as he speaks, “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“O-Oh,” Jeremy falters, momentarily incapable of forming words with his mouth. “I wouldn’t wanna bother you, Mi--”

“Dude, are you stupid?” Michael asks, with no malice. “I wouldn’t come sit with you if I didn’t wanna help you out, buddy. C’mon, lay it on me.”

Jeremy’s heart flips into his throat and he swallows hard before starting up on the tale of his Pretty Shitty Day. He tells Michael all about the coffee, Rich, his math homework, Chemistry class, and Christine. He tells Michael that he’s had a terrible day and he’s wanted to cry since seven in the morning and now he’s locked out of his mom’s house, which is so much worse than being at his dad’s because his mom doesn’t even care about him and--

“S-Sorry,” Jeremy says abruptly. Michael hasn’t stopped listening, nor has he moved his hand from Jeremy’s shoulder. “My mom’s, uh, a whole ‘nother can of worms.”

Michael nods and doesn’t press. “Next time, maybe.”

“Next time?” Jeremy asks, finding that his voice is suddenly too soft, too vulnerable.

“Next time.” He says it like a promise. He gives Jeremy a chance to steady his breathing before speaking again. “This is your mom’s house?”

“Mhm.”

“You don’t see her much, huh?”

Jeremy shakes his head.

“So you don’t live around here..?” Michael sounds almost disappointed.

“N-No, but I can give you my--” Jeremy catches himself. “Oh, my God, I was about to give you my home address. You’re, like, basically a stranger.” Michael doesn’t feel like a stranger, though. Michael feels like the closest thing he’s had to a friend in a long, long time.

“Oh!” Michael says, actually looking a little flustered at the notion. “No, I couldn’t ask for that--” He hesitates, looking down at his hands and fidgeting with his fingers before willing the words out of his mouth, “B-But I could, uh-- I could ask for your number-- Y’know, like, if you ever need to talk-- I just-- I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to--”

Jeremy bumps his knee against Michael, who looks up at him sheepishly. “Gimme your phone, loser.”

Michael fumbles his hand around in the front pocket of his hoodie before fishing out his cell phone (a clunky old Android, which Jeremy makes note to make fun of him for in the future) and handing it over.

Jeremy punches his number in and Michael peers over his shoulder as he types in “Jeremy Heere.” “You gotta put in an emoji,” Michael says firmly.

Jeremy looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “How come?”

“All my contacts have emojis. Don’t mess with the flow, bro.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes, but scrolls through the emojis nonetheless. “Android emojis are ugly,” he comments absently, earning an offended shove from Michael. Eventually, Jeremy settles on the video game controller emoji. “There,” he says, satisfied with his decision as he hands the phone back over to Michael. “Happy?”

“Very much so,” Michael says, almost as if he doesn’t realize it, as he pockets his phone. Jeremy’s heart flutters. “Now I know that you’re not only a friendless geek, but you’re a friendless geek who spends all his time playing video games.”

That one hurt a little bit. Michael's so cool, Jeremy could tell. Michael probably has lots of friends at whatever school he goes to and probably won't even bother texting a loser like Jeremy. Jeremy must have wilted, because Michael rushes to reassure him that he was just kidding. “I have no room to talk. I do the same thing. I’m the resident friendless stoner at my school.”

Jeremy straightens up. “N-Not anymore!”

“What d’you--”

“You’re not friendless. Not anymore.”

Michael stares at him and Jeremy thinks he’s going to laugh again, but then he does something much better. Michael lunges forward and buries Jeremy in a hug and Jesus Jewish Christ, hugging Michael is so much better than how Jeremy imagined it’d be. He’s warm and soft all over, and when Jeremy noses against Michael’s shoulder, he smells like pine and laundry detergent.

“Thank you,” Michael breathes. Jeremy’s thinking the same thing. He decides maybe it was worth having a Pretty Shitty Day, if he got to meet Michael.

[gxtsmxt-blog]

Hey, may i request a Jungkook story well I don't really have a plot tbh i just wanna read a story of jungkook like those collage au and have a hobby of photography 🙈 thanks 😊

the nudist and the prudist [m]

❛❛ i saw you naked on your porch but jesus christ is my friend so i was hoping i would never see you again but here you are go away hot person❜❜ AU

COUNT → 14.968

GENRE → smut | angst | fluff | humor

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → explicit language | virgin reader | exhibitionism | alcoholism | sEX

LINKS → TNATP 1.5 (jungkook’s pov)

note: so. this was mostly inspired by me walking by a naked man in real life this weekend. i live in a big city where one of the state universities is. lets just say i ran away screaming in terror. but ofc nothing else happened. never saw that man again. a nice butt he had. anyways. im gonna go to church now and say hello to my gOOD FRIEND JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

also send in more requests bc im a thirsty hoe

It was finally spring.

The bitter cold had lasted longer than normal and you feared that even the first day of spring would be filled with steady snowfall. Your winter had been spent wrapped in blankets, sipping on hot apple cider, and venturing outdoors with scarves nearly constricting your airflow. You thought the cold season was beautiful, but it was only beautiful superficially in your eyes. You didn’t enjoy walking around in layers upon layers of clothing and never leaving your room unless you absolutely had to. Then, one morning, you were greeted by melted snow and grass finally taking on that vibrant green color you missed so much.

As an introvert, winter was your own nightmare.

But then it became spring.

Pulling your keys from your backpack, you locked your door with a flick of your wrist, then moved through the claustrophobic hallway that connected you to your other housemates. They weren’t necessarily housemates exactly, as you’d never even spoken a word to any of them, but all three of you shared a bathroom and kitchen along with the people upstairs. Each of you had your own separate room as well—just as small as the hallway. Not counting your own building,  there were four separate buildings altogether with a large, steep driveway near the front lawn. Your apartment specifically was located near the back where everyone parked their cars, each person having a spot that correlated with their room number. Closing the door quietly behind you, you made your way to the concrete stairs on the opposite side of the driveway and garbage bin, heading your university’s main campus.

As a first year, you had decided to live on your own without a roommate. Your parents advised you against it at first, as they knew you were the quiet type and it was hard for you to make friends, but you convinced them it would save you money in the long run. They offered to pay for most of your tuition, but you wanted to do so yourself. The two of them had been married for twenty-five years and you always compared your relationships—or lack thereof—to their own when you thought of settling down and having children; they were your role models. Even something as small as living off-campus was something you wanted them to fully support, even if it was ultimately your decision.

Your black boots made contact with the sidewalk after crossing the street, looking both ways before you did. It seemed no one was around but it was seven o'clock in the morning. Your first class wasn’t for another two hours and the walk to the bus stop was short, but you wanted to make a habit of reviewing your notes before your classes now that the weather was sunny again.

You rested your hands on the camera dangling around your neck. Your photography project for the week was to take pictures of nature at different times throughout the day. You recalled most of your pictures taken over the semester had snowfall in the background, so you were looking forward to the contrast from your new pictures. And today, you would capture spring for the first time.

Just as you passed by a few houses, your eyes followed after a robin as it perched on the railing of one of the porches across the street. It was slightly chubby, or maybe that was just its feathers, but you smiled as it began to chirp to its heart’s content. If you weren’t so shy and quiet, maybe you would sing, too.

You closed an eye and played with the focus to get the perfect shot—but then a naked man was opening the front door, standing directly behind the bird as you took the picture. The bird flew off to perch itself on a nearby branch instead, flapping its wings and squawking wildly in surprise, while you remained rooted to the sidewalk in pure shock. It was a good thing your camera was attached to a long string around your neck, as you let go of it when you let out a high-pitched scream.

He turned at that, not even realizing a person was standing across the street facing his house, and that’s when you saw it—his penis hanging there like a limp noodle. You covered your eyes so fast that you alsmost poked yourself in the eye, but for some reason you made a gap with your fingers to peek through. He looked like he was your age, maybe a year or two older than you. His hair was almost onyx as strands of straight hair fell into his eyes. You could feel your cheeks heating up but you couldn’t stop looking at him—both at him and his penis. He was muscular, too, his biceps and thighs attractively toned.

To your embarrassment, you realized this was the first time you’d seen a penis besides from illustrations in your high school textbook. It wasn’t like your family was religious or anything for you to never see one up close and in real life. Your mom had given you “the talk” when you got your period in seventh grade and explained sex to you in almost vivid detail, but also gave you her opinion on it—that sex should be reserved for a husband and his wife only. Maybe you were too young at the time to form an opinion of your own, but you had agreed with her. You promised you would wait until marriage to do that.

And, you supposed, somewhere along the way, you also promised never to look at a penis. Or maybe you just didn’t want to. Even from the simple illustrations in textbooks, they grossed you out.

Noticing your feet were still planted firmly to the ground, you broke into a run in the direction of the bus stop with your hands still covering your eyes, which wasn’t a good combination as a car honked at you when you blindly ran in front of it. You had no idea why you were running in the first place—as if he was going to chase you or something—but your first instinct was always to run away.

And he just stood there like this was just another day.

Faintly, you could hear him call after you, but you were not about to have a conversation with a naked man. You liked to look someone in the eye when you spoke to them and something told you that you would be looking at something else if he tried talking to you. Your thoughts raced as you wondered why he was even naked in the first place. Was he one of those guys you could look up online and find where he lived on the “sexual predators near you” list? If not, he was going to be up there very soon.

Even as the house disappeared from view when you turned a corner, you kept running. A man mowing his lawn simply watched on as you did, but you didn’t think much of it. You would later, though—your anxiety obnoxiously reminding you this incident happened in the first place.

When you reached an intersection near a busier part of the neighborhood, you hunched over to catch your breath. You tried not to think about his penis, but you couldn’t help it. It had been right there in your face. Well, maybe not right in your face, as you were standing at least a few hundred feet away, but you had seen it and you had stared longer than at least thirty seconds.

It really did look bigger than it did in pictures. Sex and male genitalia were never something you spent hours upon hours thinking about—until now. Now, as you sluggishly dragged your feet to the bus stop, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was so veiny and… thick. Was that supposed to fit inside of you someday? You knew men were of all different shapes and sizes when it came to their penises, but how could a penis be any larger than that and still fit? How did he even walk around with that thing? And you thought the hair was on the whole shaft. From what you saw, his pubic hair was actually at the base of it. The artist in your sex ed textbook illustrated penises with hair—well—everywhere. Maybe she was like you and had never seen a penis before either. That was slightly alarming, though, because maybe she shouldn’t be drawing penises if she hadn’t even seen one in the first place.

Pulling your phone out of your back jean pocket and wiping the sweat off of your forehead with the palm of your hand, you realized it was 7:08—it only took eight minutes for that disaster to happen. Your index finger tugged at the collar of your shirt and the slight spring breeze felt heavenly against the sweat that had accumulated there. You didn’t even notice how much you were sweating until now. It was a good thing you always put on deodorant. Were you sweating from the exhaustion of running away from a naked man for three blocks straight or… was it something else?

As the bus pulled in front of you, you quietly found an empty seat inside. You had a class in two hours but somehow you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to review any of your notes efficiently.

Your mind was thinking about something else.

You had memorized his address—or maybe it wasn’t even his house. Actually, you didn’t want to think about that because somehow that was worse; some random guy feeling the breeze on his bare genitals on an old woman’s porch was definitely worse. If you felt like you were traumatized, she would have a heart attack and then die—probably. So, you rationalized that it had to be his house and also wondered if he had roommates or even a girlfriend living with him.

9773 S. Briarwood Dr.

That was his address and the street the two of you lived on. Your apartment building was but two houses away from his, separated by mere shrubbery. How had you had gone through half of the semester already—and walking by his house each day—without seeing him at least once? Maybe you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you had left your room even fifteen minutes later that day, would you have even seen him at all?

After you came home from a study group later that night, you had torn a piece of paper out of your notebook and mapped out your entire neighbor—including possible bus stops, alleyways, and other shortcuts. His house was outlined with a bright red marker and crossed out, as if to tell anyone reading your map that it was a blocked off quarantine zone. It also helped that you drew him as a stick figure in his front lawn wearing no clothes with “beware of naked person” written beside him.

Behind your building were a multitude of possible routes. You could easily loop around the block so you never walked by his house on your way to the bus stop ever again. Though, you would also have to leave earlier in the morning. If that didn’t work, there was also another bus stop in the opposite direction you could take, but that meant waking up even earlier in the morning. You didn’t mind waking up earlier in the morning, but hoped that you never slept in late—for your sake.

All this trouble just because of a boy—and once again, you were thinking about his penis.

That entire day had been a nightmare for you. You went through the various stages of grief within two hours, but in reverse order—acceptance, depression, and then anger as you battled against yourself to not call the local authorities and tell them about a disturbing naked man walking the streets. You had every right to, you told yourself, as being naked in public was literally a crime: public indecency.

You felt like you were a used napkin now. He hadn’t taken your virginity but he had taken your innocence—the innocence that had never seen a penis in real life. But then you thought that it could’ve been an accident. The person inside of you that always tried to see the good in people wouldn’t allow your fingers to dial 9-1-1 and instead hoped an accident was what it was.

The spring breeze whipped your hair into your face just as his house came into view with you glancing down nervously at the picture you took of your map on your phone. It wasn’t too late; you could turn around to take another route and still get to the library with enough time to study.

You can do this, you told yourself. You’re a big girl living in the city. He’ll understand if you just talk to him. Tell him he can be naked all he wants as long as it’s not before eight o'clock in the morning during the weekdays.

You had every intention of marching up the steps leading to his front porch, knocking on his door, and saying exactly that, but then you changed your mind. Your brisk walk turned into slight panting as you quickly sped right on by.

However, just as you reached the intersection, as his house was the last house on the block before crossing the street, you heard a voice calling after you. Looking over your shoulder, you were more than surprised to see the very same person you saw yesterday, except half-clothed this time. He jogged down the steps, his bare feet running across the grass in his front lawn as he made his way over to you still frozen at the stop sign. You couldn’t help but have your eyes trail to his covered crotch and how something was moving in his sweatpants. Sparing a glance at his naked chest once, you turned on your heel and ran across the road, not even caring if a car hit you at that point.

“Hey!” he yelled after you but you didn’t slow down. “Girl with her backpack open!”

You stopped, looking behind you to see him still standing on the opposite side of the road. Your eyes landed on a trail of pencils behind you and you reached around your sides to feel the pocket where you kept your writing utensils was open. You bent over and tried to pick up all your pens, pencils, and multicolored highlighters before he could reach you, but just as you grabbed for an eraser in the middle of the road, he snatched it right out from under you.

You stood to your feet and reached for it, but he had at least a few centimeters on you and easily held it above your head. With his arm lifted in the air, you were given the perfect view of his bicep flexing and the dark patch of hair growing in his armpits.

“I remember you.”

No, you don’t, you thought to yourself.

“You saw me yesterday.”

No, I didn’t, you thought to yourself again but remained silent.

You could feel your cheeks heating up but he still kept your eraser out of your reach. Maybe it wasn’t worth it, but you were there now and should at least listen to what he had to say.

“About—”

“Jungkookie~” a feminine voice sang from a crack in his front door, manicured hands gripping onto its frame. Only her head peeked out and you wondered if she also had a problem wearing clothes.

Without taking his eyes off you or lowering his arm, he called her name back in the same sing-song voice. She giggled at him playfully, then her eyes fell on you, the smile slipping off her face.

“Who is she?” she said with a pout. “Come back to bed. I’m lonely without you.”

“I don’t know who she is,” he yelled over his shoulder, then looked back at you. “What’s your name?”

You looked between him and the seemingly naked girl behind his front door, feeling very uncomfortable staying there any longer. His arm had fallen slightly when he called over to her and he didn’t seem to notice, so you took that chance to jump in the air and snatch back your eraser.

“Hey!” he called after you when he noticed, watching as you ran across the street.

Just like yesterday, you ran until his house disappeared when you turned the corner. You had thought you could talk to him one-on-one but you felt so nervous around him. Maybe because you didn’t have the best of confidence around guys your age—or guys at all—but he made you really nervous. You brushed off that feeling from you seeing him naked, though, and not from something else.

For the past week, you walked in the opposite direction of his house on your way to the bus stop each day. It wasn’t like he was sitting on his porch waiting for you to walk by, but on the off chance that he was, you didn’t want to have another awkward chat with him. You didn’t know if he was actually a student at your university or was just some guy living on the same street as you either because your university was so large in the first place; you never saw the same person twice.

Stepping onto the bus one morning, however, your mood somewhat deteriorated at the sight of how many people were on the bus. It was crowded—so crowded that you knew you wouldn’t be able to find a seat and would have to be squished between people. Though, you had woken up late and expected there to be more people than normal, you didn’t think it would be too bad. You didn’t like being touched by strangers, but you didn’t have a car or even a bicycle to give you any other option.

The bus driver instructed everyone to make three rows, which caused you get up close and personal with the people around you. Satisfied, he pressed on the gas pedal and began to drive towards the main campus. A hand fell on your shoulder, then grabbed onto one of your backpack straps currently sliding past your shoulder and down your arm. You looked over your shoulder to thank them, but then lost all train of thought when you recognized them immediately.

“Hey, backpack girl,” he greeted, patting your shoulder when he readjusted your strap for you.

“H-Hello,” you shyly said back, turning your attention back to the girl standing in front of you.

When the bus stopped suddenly, a pedestrian choosing to run across the street without looking, your back fell into his chest. The hand that wasn’t holding onto the handrail overhead fell to your waist, your shirt having ridden up slightly so all he could feel there was smooth, bare skin.

You turned your head slightly, muttering your thanks, and then the bus doors were opening. Your stop wasn’t for another fifteen minutes but you would simply wait for another bus. He was making you nervous again without even doing anything and you needed a moment to yourself to calm down.

Other people followed you off the bus, walking over to the crosswalk, but you approached the bench. You placed your backpack against your legs, closing your eyes for a moment as you sat down. When you opened them, you were greeted by that growing smile you were dreading to see.

“Did you follow me?” you asked, surprised at yourself for sounding so competent.

“I don’t just sit on my porch all day with my dick hanging out, you know.”

You gave him a small smile at that. “I meant did you follow me off the bus?”

“You just happened to get off at my stop, backpack girl.”

He sat beside you on the bench with a thud, spreading his legs as he glanced at you.

“My name isn’t ‘backpack girl,’” you returned quietly and folded your hands in your lap.

“Yeah? I asked you what your name was last week but you didn’t answer me.”

“O-Oh,” you said and looked at him through your peripheral vision. “Right.”

“So?” he asked, leaning forward. “What’s your name? I’m Jungkook.”

You were still looking at him from the side, trying your best not to look down at his crotch. Glancing down at the hand placed between the two of you, your eyes followed the bulging veins from the back of his hand, disappearing into the sleeve of his shirt. Looking him in the eye at that, you realized he’d already been staring at you. He didn’t seem to notice you staring at his hand, though. Quietly, you muttered your name and he repeated it to himself.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jungkook said with a charming smile. “Except we’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered and felt the familiar rush of blood to your cheeks.

Standing up, you muttered a quiet goodbye and then walked over to the stop light. Instead of him letting you leave, however, he followed after you, standing to your left as the two of you waited for the light to change. You looked both ways to make sure no one was coming before you crossed the busy street, the light still red. He, however, was paying more attention than you and pulled you back onto the sidewalk as a car drove past you and honked.

“The light was red.”

“I-I know.”

“You’re really cute, you know that?” he asked you with a light chuckle.

“I’m n-not, but thank you.”

The light indicated you could now cross the street and he let go of your arm.

“Promise to watch where you’re going!” he yelled after you.

Once you safely crossed the street, you waved back at him with a shy smile.

“Bye!” he yelled again, cupping his hands over his mouth. “I gotta get back to the bus stop!”

Your eyebrows furrowed at that, and then you yelled back, “I thought that was your stop!”

He gave you a cheeky grin at that.

I lied, he mouthed back.

Jungkook wasn’t as bad as you thought he was.

It wasn’t like you had a bad thought about him in the first place. You assumed he was a good person and that it was simply an accident that you saw his penis, which you had long forgotten about—for the most part. You no longer avoided his house to take a different bus. Instead, you bravely walked by each day and he would sometimes be sitting on his porch to wave at you. Sometimes, he would stop you just to talk, simply to ask you how you were or ask you what you thought of a new movie.

One morning, however, he wasn’t there.

You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. It wasn’t like he was there every day—because sometimes, he told you, he would sleep in or go to the gym early in the morning. But a faint knock on the window had your heart beating a little faster than normal. Maybe he was home but just wasn’t outside. Pausing outside his house, you looked for which window he was knocking from.

But it was not a knock.

Instead, you saw a naked woman being pressed against a window. Your eyes widened at that, your phone that you’d been holding in your right hand falling onto the sidewalk. Bending over, you picked it up, thankful it had a cover on it, then glanced back at the window. Her breasts were squished against the glass and you could make out another figure directly behind her, reaching in front of her to grab at her lower regions. Didn’t he remember that you walked by his house every day at the exact same time? As you continued to stare in shock, her eyes slowly opened, looking directly at you and—

Oh, God.

Your hand covered your mouth, knowing exactly what was happening there. Before you could stop yourself, you were running past his house as fast as you could, nearly tripping over a crack in the sidewalk. You heard the front door opening with a slam but you continued to run, even after you heard his rushed footsteps follow after you and him yell your name multiple times.

Just before his house disappeared from view, you stopped and looked over your shoulder. He was only wearing a pair of boxers, but you were thankful he at least put on some clothes. Thinking that you already ran away, he looked up at the sky and ran his tongue past the seam of his lips. He kicked a rock across his front lawn and then cursed to himself before heading back inside. Just before the front door shut, you saw the naked girl stop in front of him and attempt to talk to him. You couldn’t make out what they were saying but it looked like he wasn’t happy with her as the door closed shut.

He must have just forgotten that you walked by every day. Why else would he be having sex with a girl against a window knowing that? Your eyes brimmed with tears, but you didn’t know why. It wasn’t like you liked him like that—romantically. He was very attractive and he was nice to you, but you didn’t know what you felt for him exactly. The two of you had only been talking for a week and that wasn’t enough time at all for you to like someone in that way, especially when you knew he had girls over all the time to have sex with them. He told you that much about him, at least.

After that, you stopped walking by his house.

You missed talking to him and you missed seeing him, but you were a little more than upset with him to care about his feelings. Did he even care that you stopped walking by? Maybe this was what he wanted all along; maybe he found your presence annoying and just wanted you to leave him alone. Surely he could’ve just told you that but that’s what your anxiety was telling you—and you believed it.

After you had been studying for hours and felt like your head was about to explode one night, your mind drifted back to him as it always did—him and that girl pressed up against the window. You had never watched porn before in your life, as you wanted to keep your innocence intact, but you couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to have sex with him like she had. What did it feel like? If he had girls over all the time just for that, he must’ve been good enough for them to always keep coming back.

You thought she was the same girl that was staying at his house that one time, though. For reasons you couldn’t yet explain or even understand, you felt jealous. It seemed like she was always at his house and maybe he was always naked because they were just having sex all the time. She was probably his girlfriend or maybe she was just a friend that he liked to have sex with—more so than any of the other girls he had sex with. Even if that’s all she was, you still felt envious of her. She could see him whenever she wanted, talk to him whenever she wanted. But you? You only saw him once every day at seven o'clock in the morning, and all you ever could do was wave.

For the first time in a long time, you were frustrated with your quiet nature. You couldn’t even speak more than a few words to him without getting flustered and now you had ruined it. Getting so upset over him having sex with a girl was completely ridiculous, but that’s how you felt.

Maybe you liked Jungkook a lot more than you thought you did.

Usually you made men uncomfortable with your quiet way of speaking and how you wouldn’t look them directly in the eye, but he didn’t mind at all. He thought you were cute and would tell you that whenever he felt like it. No one else had called you cute before in your life, except for your grandma when you were five years old. Somehow, you only liked it when he called you cute. You realized that you valued his opinion way too much, and that was clear from how sad you were from not seeing him.

For a fleeting second, you wondered what it would be like to have sex with him—vividly. What would it be like if, instead of that girl, it was you having sex with him? You covered your eyes at that thought out of embarrassment. That was just completely out of the question, something you shouldn’t even be thinking about at all. All you felt for Jungkook was attraction. 

He didn’t care about you at all.

Even with that thought on your mind, as you laid in bed, your hand slowly drifted past your pajama shorts, touching yourself down there for the first time. The patch of hair made it awkward at first, but then your finger circled your outer lips and you let out a gasp at the sensation.

Would Jungkook touch you down there if you asked?

You closed your eyes, imagining your fingers were his instead. If his fingers were similar to the size of his penis, they would be long and able to reach places that yours couldn’t. Without even thinking twice about it, your other hand grasped one of your breasts through your baggy t-shirt, then rolled your nipple between your thumb and forefinger. It felt so good and there was so much wetness down there just from thinking about him touching you. You pulled your hand out of your warm center and slowly opened your eyes to look at it. It was coated with your own juices and somehow, that made you feel even more turned on than you already did. Letting go of your breast, you reached down and spread your lips open with your fingers so that the fingers on your other hand could go back to their caressing, but this time, you shoved the tip of your forefinger inside your tight hole.

It felt strange and almost uncomfortable, but after a few minutes, you were able to stick your entire finger all the way inside of you. You couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like if it was his finger instead. Adding another, your inner walls stretched even more at the new digit inside of you.

I am a good girl, you chanted in your head. I don’t do things like this. I am a good girl.

Even thinking that, though, you knew it wasn’t true. Something was very wrong with you for having such impure thoughts about a boy you rarely saw except for in the morning. You thought back to how he’d pressed that girl against the window. How would it feel to be in her place?

Your hips stuttered at that, the speed of your fingers increasing. All your mind was thinking about was Jungkook—how hard he would press you into that window, how hard he would fuck you into that window. Your fingers suddenly weren’t enough; you wanted his fingers inside of you.

“J-Jungkook,” you moaned quietly to yourself, your legs twitching.

Then you pulled your fingers out of you and began to caress your outer lips again, pausing when you touched yourself in a certain way that shot an intense amount of pleasure through you. You pinched at your lips and tried to locate the same spot near where your outer lips met at the top of your vagina.

“Oh, God…” you couldn’t help but cry out loudly, squeezing your thighs together for some friction.

The sensation felt so good, but it also made you feel different as well. You wanted to keep going but you also wanted to stop, which was what you did.

This was not what you should be doing. It was just going to make things worse for you. Jungkook would have sex with you and then never speak to you again, or at least that’s what you told yourself. He would deflower you and leave you out to dry like a dirty sock. 

At that thought, warm tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

And as you laid in your bed, your fingers coated in your own juices, you cried.

The next few days after that, you felt physically and emotionally drained. You couldn’t even get out of bed, or maybe it was because you didn’t want to. Never had you felt so ashamed of yourself because this was all because of a boy. Your parents would be ashamed of you if they knew, too.

And that made you feel even worse.

They would be disgusted by your behavior you and probably think to themselves what they did so wrong to raise such a horrible excuse for a daughter. And they had every right to think that.

After a week of skipped classes and homework piling up more and more each day, you found yourself lying in the front lawn of your apartment building late one night. It was the weekend and no one would care if they saw a crying girl on the grass. They would let you self-deprecate in peace.

With a half-empty bottle of straight vodka on its side by your head, you opened your eyes.

“Hey, man,” you heard a familiar voice say to someone else, then they asked if you lived here.

You sat up so quickly at that your head began to spin. The conversation was distant enough that you could tell they were talking right in front of the building near the street. Placing a hand on your forehead, you strained your ears to listen, even though your brain was screaming at you to die.

When you heard nothing, you assumed they left and laid back down on the ground, taking a swig of vodka as you did. The burn was unpleasant but you welcomed it and took another.

“Yeah, but how do you know her exactly?”

“Uh… It’s kind of a long story.”

“All right, man. Well, she’s in #10.”

You gulped at that, hoping that it was so late in the evening now that he wouldn’t see you in the dark.

You heard a car starting and footsteps getting closer as they traipsed up the driveway, then you peeked through half-closed eyelids to see a shadow looming over you.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, a concerned look on his face.

“Whoever you’re d-dialing can’t be r-reached,” you slurred, batting the person standing beside you away with your hand like they were a fly buzzing around your head. “Try…" You started to hiccup, enough that you just gave up on finishing your sentence.

“Oh, Jesus…”

He knelt at your side, prying the bottle of vodka out of your hands with a sigh. You faintly remembered hearing him ask himself how you managed to get vodka in the first place, but then he was tossing the bottle somewhere behind him on the grass. It clinked when it rolled into the fence surrounding the nearby garbage bin, then he grabbed one of your arms to get you to stand up. He called your name once, then several times to get your attention.

“Can you hear me right now?”

You groaned in response.

“Shit. You’re so fucked up.”

He pulled at your arms like you were some sort of rag doll, your face falling into the crook of his neck easily from his strength. Another sigh escaped him, but it didn’t seem like he was bothered. Reaching for your legs, he easily pulled you into his chest and carried you down the driveway bridal style.

“W-Where are we goin’?” you managed to ask and attempted to focus on his face. Your hands idly hung around his neck and he suddenly paused, hoisting you further up his body.

“My house. Is that okay?”

Your head fell against his shoulder, blacking out for a few seconds at a time. He resumed walking when you didn’t say anything back. When you opened your eyes again after what felt like only seconds, you were lying on a couch inside someone’s house. The sight of a large ceiling fan greeted you when you did, and then you glanced around what appeared to be a living room.

“Jungkook,” you heard a voice say. “Why is there a drunk girl on our couch right now?”

“You know, it’s a funny story…”

“And you know what else is a funny story? That whenever you say something is a ‘funny story,’ it actually isn’t a ‘funny story’ at all because you did something stupid.”

Jungkook sighed. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh, shit. You’re right. I gotta get going, but you better not let her puke on the carpet.”

The door slammed with a shut and you heard Jungkook sigh again, then watched as he carried one of the dining room chairs in front of you to take a seat. Your eyes fell onto his thighs, the back of the chair facing you and him sitting on it with his legs spread open.

“You’re conscious,” he said after a few seconds, smiling in relief.

“Jungkook,” you started to say, “why weren’t you there that morning?”

It was a vague question but somehow he knew exactly what you meant.

“I’m so fucking sorry you had to see that. I didn’t even— It didn’t even register that… I’m sorry.”

You sat up, rubbing at your temples for a moment. He went to reach for you in an attempt to steady you, but you backed away from him and pressed yourself more into the couch.

“It’s fine,” you said, which was a lie. “Can you take me home?”

“Y-Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

You wanted to lie again and tell him you were fine, but somehow you couldn’t even do that. Even after passing out, you still could feel the alcohol pumping through your veins, giving you a false sense of confidence. You knew if you were even slightly sober, you wouldn’t have said a word.

“No, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

You stood up, your head spinning as you did and almost causing you to topple over. Raising a hand, you gestured that you were fine and could walk by yourself without his help.

It was awkward as you stumbled over to his front door, trying to open it but not realizing it was locked. He reached over your shoulder, his large hand encasing your own on the door knob so he could unlock it, then offered you a small smile. You didn’t return it, though.

He silently followed you outside, walking behind you quietly.

“Are you sure you're—”

“I said I’m fine.”

He didn’t say another word after that. Cars drove by but that was all you heard as the two of you slowly made your way past the houses separating his house from your own.

“You know what? I’m not. I’m a little intoxicated right now—”

He snorted softly at that, agreeing with you.

“—and so I’m probably going to say something dumb. Usually I wouldn’t even be speaking more than two words to you but right now I don’t give a shit. That’s right. I know what that word means.”

You spun around to face him, breathing heavily after your outburst.

“I’m fucking pissed at you. You knew I would be walking by but then I saw— And I know we’re not even friends. We’re complete strangers, but I figured you could at least keep your dick in your pants for even just one second because I thought we— I thought y-you l-liked me like I like y-you.”

“I do lik—!”

“I am talking right now, Jungkook,” you hissed, taking a step forward. “As I was saying… I thought— But I guess I was wrong. You probably only started talking to me in the first place because you wanted to stick your dick in me, right? Why else would you talk to someone as socially awkward and quiet as me?”

You turned back around, then, with your back facing him. He didn’t have much to say in response, his mouth opening and closing as if he couldn’t think of what to say. The two of you continued towards your building in silence again. You crossed your arms, so many things left unsaid between you two.

When you reached your driveway, you threw a glance over your shoulder.

“Thanks for walking me home,” you quietly said. “I won’t be walking by anymore so you can screw whoever you want wherever you want without worrying about me, if you even did at all.”

Then you wobbled your way up the driveway, set on storming into your room to take a long nap. Though, it was late at night already so that would probably just be called sleeping.

“Wait!” he yelled after you, but didn’t make a move to go after you. “Will you just— Fucking hold on.”

You heard his rushed footsteps behind you, then he grabbed your shoulder to spin you around. He pulled back at the sight of tears brimming in your eyes, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I do fucking like you. I do but I… I’m not good enough for you. No one is good enough for you.”

“Don’t you think I should be the one to decide that?” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

“I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You already did.”

You pulled your arm out of his grasp and tried to walk back up the driveway, but then he was grabbing for your arm again, this time pushing you into the fence surrounding the garbage bin. Surprised, you looked up at him. He bit into his lip, seeming to make up his mind about something.

“You’re not… making this fucking easy on me, you know?”

Then he was kissing you.

His arms caged you into the fence, angling his head as he sucked your upper lip into his mouth. Your eyes blinked rapidly, still trying to process what was happening. His lips felt chapped but also soft at the touch, something you hadn’t been expecting. You’d been kissed before but they were only pecks on the lips and definitely nothing as searing hot as his mouth. You felt his tongue lick across the seam of your lips, and your eyes closed on reflex at that as you slowly opened your mouth for him.

“I shouldn’t be…” he mumbled against your lips, returning his tongue into your mouth. Seeming to have forgotten what he was trying to say, his words just trailed off into the air.

One of his hands fell from the wooden fence and skimmed down your sides, stopping at your waist and maneuvering under your shirt to feel the warm skin there. Compared to your heated body, his hands were like ice cubes but you didn’t want him to stop touching you. Even just kissing him was something you didn’t want to stop doing. His other hand followed soon after, both of them gliding at a snail’s pace across the skin at your back. Your eyes snapped open when he roughly pulled you against him and your breasts pressed against his firm chest. It was like your body was on fire and you could feel your heart beating wildly in your chest. You wondered if he could hear it, too.

He exhaled through his nose after a few seconds and pulled away from your mouth to trail kisses from your chin to down your neck. Your hands bunched up the fabric at his collar as you stood there and let him do whatever he wanted to you. You hadn’t ever been kissed like how he was kissing you, ravaging your neck with such an intensity you found it hard to think straight. His teeth nipped at the skin there lightly, which caused you to let out a gasp. After placing a chaste kiss there, he breathed heavily into your neck for a moment, pulling back after a while to look at you. The hands holding you to him at your back suddenly slid further up your shirt and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

Your eyes opened again to see him staring down at you with raw desire. He bent his head forward to kiss you once as if he couldn’t help himself—a fleeting peck—and then he pulled away again. You moaned lowly from the back of your throat at the loss of contact and he licked his lips, scanning your face under the glow of the dim streetlight. Your lips felt bruised and wet with his own saliva and yours.

He leant forward again and pressed a kiss against your temple, then one softly to your cheek. Pulling away one last time, the two of you just stared at each other in awe. You didn’t know what to say and definitely hadn’t been expecting him to kiss you ten minutes ago—especially not like that.

And then a car was honking at the two of you, gesturing for you to get out of the way so they could find a parking spot without hitting you. Jungkook grabbed at your waist, his hands at your back sliding around to grip your sides. Then his hands were gone, skimming down the length of your arm to hold onto your hand tightly and drag you around the garbage bin to let them drive past you.

When they were gone, disappearing behind the building, he looked back down at you.

“So, um…” he said, panting slightly. “That was… something…”

“Yeah,” you replied, staring at your feet in embarrassment.

He sensed that and instantly felt regret, not from kissing you but from doing so without your permission. He hadn’t even asked you if it was okay with you—he just did it without thinking.

“I’m sorry. I—” he started to say, then cut himself off. “I’ve been saying that a lot lately, huh?”

You snapped up your head to look at him. “It’s okay! I’m fine. Don’t apologize.”

Every time he looked at you, all he could remember was how warm you felt inside your mouth. For a moment, his thoughts went south. He had to get you back in your room before he made things worse.

“Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“Y-Yeah. I can find my way. Don’t worry about me,” you assured with a warm smile. He let go of your hand after realizing he was still holding onto it somewhat tightly. “I’m… I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he said quietly.

“Don’t be.” You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. “I… I liked it, so thank you.”

His hands twitched at his sides at what you said, his brain screaming at him to get away from you.

You turned around and began to walk up the pathway to your building, opening the door. Looking over your shoulder, you gave him a small wave and smiled at him. Before you disappeared inside, however, he was running over to you and grabbing onto the door frame.

“Listen… uh…” he began and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Can I make it up to you? For kissing you and for… you know. I’m throwing a party tomorrow night. You should come.”

Your hands held onto the side of the door, his hand holding onto the door frame inches from your own.

“O-Okay,” you agreed, smiling. “If you want me to come, I will.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief, smiling back at you. “Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

You nodded and he nodded back, awkwardly. Waving one last time, you closed the door in his face. After you walked down the hallway to unlock your door and disappeared from sight, he breathed deeply through his nose, able to think straight for the first time in what seemed like two hours. He moved to walk back down the driveway and go to sleep in his own bedroom, looking over his shoulder at the door several times as he did.

“God, I’m fucked…” he mumbled to himself, wondering if inviting you to his party was a good idea.

You fell asleep late that night, not waking up until half-past noon the next morning. It wasn’t something you could help, though, as you couldn’t stop thinking about him and that kiss. Now, at a quarter until nine o'clock at night, you pulled back your covers and walked over to your mirror. Was going to his party such a good idea? Maybe all he wanted to do was talk to you and hang out with you, but what if he was with one of those girls? You would just get angry with him again and it wouldn’t be anyone else’s fault but your own.

Going through your closet, you took at least ten minutes to pick out what to wear. You wanted to impress him but also didn’t want him to know you were trying to impress him, so you went with a simple blouse paired with a somewhat short skirt. You hadn’t shaved your legs in two days, but the hair growing back wasn’t that noticeable. Glancing at your reflection in the mirror one last time, you pulled your hair so it was halfway up and secured it with a ponytail. You didn’t wear heavy makeup, mascara and light foundation the most you wore on a good day, but you put on some red lipstick anyway.

He didn’t tell you what time the party started and you didn’t even have his phone number, but you knew the second you heard the loud bass vibrating against your wall. Locking your door behind you, you slowly walked down the driveway with butterflies in your stomach. It was already an hour after the music started and you wondered if he was still waiting for you to show up.

He probably already forgot about you.

You walked across his lawn, the tips of the grass blades tickling your toes in your flip flops, intending to awkwardly knock on the front door. Running through your head what you would say to him inside, you didn’t even notice a figure sitting on the porch until they were waving at you.

It was Jungkook.

“Hey,” he called over to you, standing up. “You took your sweet time getting over here.”

You giggled shyly to yourself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me outside.”

He removed the hoodie from over his head, running a hand through his black hair. You looked him up and down from his dark wash jeans to his baggy, loose-fitting sweatshirt, finding the sight of his hands digging into his front jean pockets really attractive for some reason. Your eyes finally trailed back up to his face to see if he had caught you staring only to see he was doing the same to you.

“Cute,” he said after a moment, one corner of his lips tilting up into a lopsided grin. “Come on.”

With his hands still in his jean pockets, he gestured with his elbow for you to follow him inside. You did as he said, then he paused at the front door, holding it open for you.

“Ladies first.”

Upon entering his house for the second time, it was loud and crowded with people huddled together in every corner. The bass was even louder inside—which you didn’t think was even possible—and you anxiously looked behind you in hopes of seeing Jungkook not far behind. As an introvert, parties never appealed to you. Even hanging out in a small group gave you intense anxiety, so you were definitely the type to hug the corners of a wall at a party or hang out with their pets instead of getting drunk.

As he walked over to stand at your side, he could tell you were anxious and grabbed your hand, pulling you into the kitchen. A few guys greeted him with that weird shake that guys do. He grinned back that, making small talk for a moment, before his eyes fell back onto you.

“You’re not twenty-one, are you?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at you playfully.

You feel your cheeks heat up. “No. I’m only eighteen.”

“I knew it,” he said with a laugh, stepping away from the counter littered with beer bottles and half-full red solo cups. “I figured you were a freshman the moment I saw you.”

After digging through the fridge, he pulled out a pitcher of apple juice, pouring you a cup.

“You should have some, too,” you said with a giggle.

“Nah.” He smiled down at you from across the counter at that. “Orange juice is more my thing.”

You let out a loud at that, then covered your mouth with one of your hands in embarrassment.

“God, you’re cute,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “I like hearing you laugh, so don’t hide it.”

You took a sip of your apple juice at that, the cool drink sliding down your throat a nice contrast to the heat spreading over your cheeks. He continued to look at you, his elbows resting against the cool countertop. Feeling yourself getting a little too hot, either from him staring at you or all the sweat in the air from the bodies inside the house, you asked if there was a bathroom you could use.

“Yeah,” he replied and pointed behind you to the stairs. “It’s just upstairs and on your right.”

You muttered your thanks, setting your apple juice on the counter, then brushed past some people to find the stairs. Glancing over your shoulder once, you could see Jungkook watching you across the room.

As you quickly padded up the stairs, disappearing down the hallway. Jungkook took a swig of beer, giving himself some liquid courage before he followed you up the stairs. This was his chance to talk to you away from all his friends and various drunk people he didn’t know he invited. Although he wasn’t sure how well it would go, he couldn’t keep it in the shadows any longer. He ran up the stairs, skipping steps, and heard the faucet turn on. Licking his lips nervously, he knocked on the door.

“Occupied,” he heard back and he had to stifle a laugh.

“It’s me,” he said after a few seconds. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

You opened the door, looking at him with curious, wide eyes. Stepping away to give him enough room to walk inside, he slowly brushed past you into the bathroom.

“It’s quieter here,” he mumbled, looking around as if it wasn’t the same bathroom he used every day.

“Yeah,” you agreed and looked at him expectantly with folded arms.

“You remember when you saw me naked that one time?”

“How could I ever forget?”

He laughed at that. “I’m sorry about that, but I just wanted to explain. I know that happened a month ago but you probably are still wondering about that. It was a little weird, huh?”

“A little bit…” you quietly replied, smiling shyly.

“I… I’m a, uh… I’m an exhibitionist.”

You could only stare up at him at that. Uncrossing your arms, you asked, “You’re a… You’re a what?”

“Exhibitionist. It means I get turned on when people see me naked. It’s a kink of—”

“Wh— Uh… You…”

“Maybe I should’ve transitioned you into this more gently…”

“M-Maybe. Does… Does that mean that you did that on purpose?!”

“No, no, no! It was an accident!” he frantically reassured you, waving his hands wildly. “I didn’t know you were going to be walking by—trust me. But I… may or may not have gotten turned on by…”

“…me seeing you naked?”

It was awkwardly silent and if you weren’t in the room, he would probably be kicking himself in the nuts for making you uncomfortable. He hadn’t even planned out what he was going to say to you or how. All he knew was he wanted to clear things up and try to make you understand him a little bit.

His head fell against the wall, tucking his hands into his front jean pockets. “That came out wrong.”

“Maybe… Maybe I should go…” you slowly said, already taking a step towards the closed door.

“Wait!” he yelled, moving himself to block off the door. “Hold on. I’m fucking sorry that this is probably making you uncomfortable but this isn’t actually what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then what is it you wanted to say?”

“I… Ah, fuck. I’m usually good at this.”

“Good at what?”

“I know you’re not that type of girl.”

“Type of girl?”

“I know how you’re going to respond but…”

“But what?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “No one ever walks by my house early in the morning. I didn’t do it on purpose just to pop a boner. I didn’t even know you were there until…”

The two of you recalled at the same time how you had run away screaming.

“But that’s not what I wanted to say. I think you’re really fucking adorable. I’m kind of obvious about it, so you probably knew that already. And you also know that I hook up with a lot of girls at… here…”

You anxiously glanced at the door knob behind him.

“It turns me on when someone sees me naked and it turns me on to even fuck in public because just the thought of someone walking in on me with my dick out is… Fucking hell. Just the thought of it is… It’s never even mattered who it was or who I’m with either. I’ll fuck anyone anywhere and I’ll be… good to go. I’ve never really chased after anyone for sex because of it. But there’s… there’s something so fucking special about you. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yes…”

“God,” he groaned, closing his eyes as his head made a thud when it banged against the door. “I figured as much. I could just tell by how you act.”

You now understood where he was going with this as you glanced down at his bulging erection straining against the front of his jeans, backing yourself into the sink. Your hands came to rest on the edge and gripped onto the porcelain tightly until your knuckles turned white. He probably thought that this was freaking you out but it actually was making you feel something down there.

And that made you very nervous.

“I want to fuck you so bad.”

You sucked in a breath at that, your legs shaking slightly but hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“I haven’t had a good fuck in such a long time because all I can think about is you. Knowing you’ve never had sex before makes it even worse. You don’t even know how close I was to coming into your room last night and bending you over your desk—how close I was to pounding into you so hard that everyone in your fucking building would hear you screaming.”

“I… um…”

“And I’m not telling you this so that I can force you into anything you don’t want to do. I know you’re not that type of girl and would never force myself on anyone. I just needed to get this off my chest. I want to fuck you so badly, but I know you’re not into me like that. You’re probably waiting until marriage or some fairytale shit like that. I’m telling you this so that you stay the fuck away from me. Do you know how many times a day I pop a boner just from thinking about fucking you? It doesn’t even matter where—in a car, in this fucking bathroom, in the street. I would strangle a person just to bury my dick in you for even one fucking second.”

Instead of running past him and out the front door like a normal person, you stayed rooted to the spot. You bit into your bottom lip, then looked up at him to see him staring at your mouth.

“Okay.”

He blinked, his mouth falling open. “Okay? What are you—”

“I’ll have sex with you.”

He opened his mouth to object again, even though he was the one who brought it up, but you stepped forward and away from the sink. Did he really think just because you were a virgin you wouldn’t? He had to know how ridiculously good looking he was; the old lady across the street would even agree.

All you could think about the past week was the exact same thing he’d been thinking about. You wanted him to bend you over your desk. You wanted him to fuck you, even just for a second. You wanted him to fuck you so hard that all your neighbors would hear you screaming. All your fantasies of getting married to the perfect guy and giving your virginity to him on your wedding night on top of a bed littered with rose petals was out the window.

“I want you, too,” you whispered, grabbing onto his forearms.

His breath hitched at that, and then he was leaning more into the door to back away from you. You pulled buck, letting go of his arms as a hurt expression crossed your face.

“But you don’t want to,” you said quietly.

“I-I do! It’s just… Have you been fucking listening to me?” He reached for one of your hands but you backed into the sink again, looking at a crack in the wall instead of looking him in the eye. “I just… It would be a mistake before—”

“Mistake?” you asked him and your eyebrows knitted together. “I’m sorry for… I’m sorry.”

And then you were brushing past him to walk downstairs, the front door getting closer with each step. Jungkook didn’t even go after you, just stood there after you squeezed past him. He hadn’t even objected at all. It was the right thing to do, he thought to himself just as you closed the front door.

You didn’t even get to hear the rest of what he had to say.

You felt embarrassed.

You had gone above and beyond and actually told him you wanted to have sex with him, and then he just rejected you like that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard in his life. You understood that he thought he was doing the right thing but he seemed to make up his mind on what you wanted. Once again, he was treating you like you were some porcelain doll that couldn’t make her own decisions. Why had he even brought it up if he wasn’t interested in that with you anyway? He made it sound like he was, but then he confused you when you shot you down like that. You didn’t understand what he wanted.

Days went by and you kept walking by his house, hoping he would change his mind, but he was never outside on the porch to wave at you like he had been before. You knew he was home but simply didn’t want to talk to you. Maybe it was for the best, you thought. You shouldn’t let one boy change your mind on whether or not you wanted to have sex before marriage. Your parents would be proud.

One particular day, however, it was raining hard.

You held your backpack above your head as you ran and you faintly heard the bus driving down the street after you got off at your stop. Looking at the sky, you jumped when you heard thunder. As you sprinted across the street, stepping into various puddles as you did and soaking your socks and shoes, you stopped to see you were standing across the street from Jungkook’s house. The rain had stopped, so you lowered your backpack from over your head, and slowly crossed the street in silence.

In one puddle, you failed to notice there was a large tree branch and fell flat on your face. You let out a cry of pain and slowly pulled yourself to sitting on the back of your heels. Feeling your knee, you pulled your hand back to see you were bleeding, which really wasn’t what you needed at all.

“Ow…” you cried out and felt tears form in the corners of your eyes.

Using the back of your sleeve, you wiped at your eyes just as a single tear rolled down your cheek. You sniffled, but slowly stood to your feet and looked at where the branch had scraped against your skin. Some parts of the wound were deeper than others and you sighed to yourself.

Then you heard a front door opening.

Your head snapped up to see none other than Jungkook jogging down the steps with a hoodie over his head, then stopping in front of you. His eyes trailed down to the wound on your thigh, grimacing.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you answered, pulling down your skirt. You moved to take a step back but faltered slightly. Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your shoulder at that, leading you to his front porch.

“Come on,” he said quietly, and you let him.

Closing the front door, he walked you over to his couch. Your hair was soaking wet from the rain and you left tiny puddles of water behind you on the hardwood floor of his entryway. He jogged up the stairs, telling you he was going to get you a towel, and returned less than a minute later. The couch sank from his weight when he sat next to you and he went to wrap the towel around you, ruffling your hair in an attempt to dry it. He laughed quietly to himself when he squished your cheeks together, your lips puckering cutely.

“How bad was it out there?” he asked, smiling warmly at you.

“It wasn’t that bad until ten minutes ago,” you answered, taking the towel from his hands. “I had just got off the bus when it started to rain, though. And then it was thundering, too.”

“That sucks,” he supplied. “You can stay here until it stops, if you want.”

You didn’t tell him that it’d already stopped, using the excuse that it would just start raining again if you left straight away.

“T-Thank you.”

You scratched at your leg and his eyes followed the movement, remembering you fell outside.

“Does that hurt?” he asked, looking at your thigh.

“A l-little bit,” you stuttered as you felt him staring at you.

“I got some band-aids. Maybe that’ll help,” he told you, then disappeared up the stairs again.

You listened to the sound of him walking around upstairs, the floorboards creaking beneath his weight. Glancing around his house, your eyes fell onto the television across the coffee table. Jungkook must’ve been watching something before he invited you inside. Although you’d been in his house twice already, it felt smaller when you knew it was just the two of you inside, unless his roommates were home, too. Sucking in a deep breath, you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt, running a finger down the scratch on your leg. It would scab over eventually, so maybe you didn’t need a band-aid—not that a band-aid would even help since you would need a lot of them to even cover your wound. You pulled out your phone from the pocket inside your backpack, thankful you didn’t simply keep it in your back jean pocket because of the rain.

You looked terrible. 

Your hair was a mess and already frizzy from the heat. Your mascara wasn’t waterproof so it was a big, black mess under your eyes. You didn’t even know where to start so you just put your phone away, sighing to yourself. Maybe you shouldn’t have come inside and just went home. You only lived two houses away in the first place. Why did you even agree to come inside at all?

Deep down, you already knew the answer.

At the sound of him running down the stairs, you looked over the back of the couch. He held a wad of band-aids in his right hand, the other holding a hand towel.

“I’m back,” he said with a grin.

He sat next to you on the couch again, but then realized it would be an awkward angle. Noticing his discomfort, you turned so that you were facing him and lifted one of your legs onto the cushion. This gave him the perfect view up your skirt and he slowly tugged it down to cover you.

Taking the hand towel, he rubbed down your thigh and you closed your eyes at that. He must’ve soaked it in warm water because it felt very soothing on your bare skin. When you opened your eyes, you couldn’t look away from him as he continued to rub calming circular motions into your skin with his hand. His hair had fallen into his eyes and you wanted more than anything to run your fingers through his hair. The hand that wasn’t holding the towel was also caressing the skin on your other thigh. You wondered if he knew he was doing that but didn’t want him to stop, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Good?” he asked with a laugh when your head fell against the back of the couch, eyes closing in complete submission.

He grabbed onto your angled leg that wasn’t injured, straightening it so your foot was resting between him and the back of the couch. Placing the hand towel on the coffee table, he stared at your wound.

“Shit,” he groaned. “This must hurt a lot. What the hell did you do to yourself?”

“I, uh… I fell into a puddle. There was this giant tree branch there and it got me good, I guess.”

He laughed out loud at that, pulling a fist to his mouth as he did. You couldn’t help but smile back, glad that someone found it funny. Although, it was kind of ridiculous so maybe you did, too. He had the most beautiful laugh, like music to your ears. You knew he could make you smile just the sound of his laughter.

“I thought I told you to watch where you’re going,” he said with a playful smile.

You’d been watching his hand as it gripped your upper thigh, but then your head snapped up to look at him when he said that. He had said something like that back when he followed you off the bus.

He didn’t seem to remember, though, so you said quietly, “Sorry… I was kind of in a hurry to get home.”

“Nah. If it was me, I would’ve wiped out so much harder.”

The two of you smiled at each other for a moment, and then he glanced back down at your thigh. Your wound went even under your skirt and you could tell he wanted to ask you if he could move it but also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Maybe he didn’t want you to get any ideas after what happened at his party. You had basically thrown yourself at him, after all.

You pulled at your skirt, not so much to reveal your underwear but enough to see the rest of your wound. Your eyes widened, not realizing it went so far up your thigh. Jungkook looked at the band-aids he placed on the coffee table for a moment, then said, “We’re going to need some more band-aids.”

He went to move off the couch, but you grabbed his arm. “It’s okay! I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Slowly, he relaxed back into the couch, your hand still grasping onto his arm. You didn’t let go of him and he noticed as he stared at your hand.

“Jungkook,” you said in a small voice. “Why didn’t you want to have sex with me? Is there something wrong with me?”

His eyes widened at that, not expecting those words to come out of your mouth at all. Were you crazy? Had you been listening to him at all?

“Maybe you forgot but I seem to remember having a fucking monologue about how much I want to have sex with you,” he said with a laugh but scooted away from you on the couch. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t say that.”

Your hand dropped into your lap when he pulled away. “Then why did you not want to last week?”

“I told you. I don’t want you to make a mistake. What we would be doing would only be physical, and you deserve so much more than that,” he said softly.

“Why do you keep deciding things for me like I’m a child?”

You stood up, pulling your leg out from him and the couch. Grabbing your backpack leant against the coffee table, you placed its straps on your shoulders and pulled back your hair, heading for the door.

Instead of sitting there like you expected him to, he followed after you and placed a hand on the door when you went to open it. You jumped back, surprised, and clutched your hands to your chest. He closed his eyes, then opened them slowly, his pupils dilated with what appeared to be raw need.

“You’re not making things easy for me.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand you at all, Jungkook. You’ll have sex with all these other girls but you won’t with me. Why am I so different? Is it because I’m inexperienced?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“You’re special.”

“Special?”

“I don’t want to just fuck you. I was going to… I was going to ask you out that night but I— I don’t— I stopped inviting them over and haven’t had sex for two weeks now. I wanted to do this right.”

You closed your mouth, all the words on the tip of your tongue fading into the air. He was going to ask you out? Why didn’t he?

“I like you so much that it drives me crazy.”

“I like you, too,” you said quietly, “but you seem to think I’m this good girl that isn’t deserving of anybody. You’re not my father or my brother or— Maybe you were right about me when we first met but… I’m attracted to you, too, and it wouldn’t be a mistake if we had sex right now. I promise you it wouldn’t be a mistake.”

Your backpack straps began to slip down the length of your arms and you let it fall to the ground with a thud. Taking a step closer, you lifted up your skirt and grabbed one of Jungkook’s hands. Without losing your nerve, you placed it over your drenched underwear and his eyes went wide.

“I want you, Jungkook.”

His head fell against the door, closing his eyes in almost defeat. He groaned out loud, cursing to himself. He grabbed your arm and pulled you against him.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

And then he was turning you around, pressing you into the door. His hands blindly pulled at the hem of your skirt, it pooling around your ankles a second later. He pressed his chest firmly against your back with him breathing heavily into your neck. You could feel his erection against you and sighed.

It was such a relief for you when he slipped his hand into your underwear.

“You’re fucking drenched,” he whispered into your ear, then licked the shell of your ear. “You don’t even need foreplay, do you?”

You wiggled your hips against his crotch in confirmation and he groaned at that.

“Fucking humor me, though, will you?”

And then his fingers were rubbing furiously at your sweet spot in a circular motion. Your head began to spin as you thought he knew exactly where to touch you. Thinking back to when you masturbated to him fucking you, you realized it felt so much better having someone else touch you. Your hips ground against him each time he gently pinched you in a certain spot and you exhaled shakily, enough to fog the door’s glass panels. You looked to his porch and saw two kids playing football across the street and panicked. Could they see what the two of you were doing right now?

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” he suddenly asked, then pushed you more into the door, giving you no room to move away. “That someone could see you, see my fingers fucking into your pussy. You want them to see us, don’t you?”

You closed your eyes and moaned loudly at his crude words, not willing yourself to agree with him out loud but knowing he was right.

“But we’re not going to give them a show—at least not today.”

Then he was pulling you away from the door without taking his fingers out of your underwear. He rubbed you even as he walked you over to the dining room table, then bent you over. Just as one of his fingers went to your entrance, he pulled it out of you, sucking the digit into his mouth slowly.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asked you, smoothing his hands over the skin on your back. Pushing up your shirt, he began to lick and kiss at the skin there before tugging at your underwear. “Huh?”

You heard him undoing his belt buckle, then his jeans fell to the floor a second later. You didn’t hear him pulling down his boxers and realized with a low moan from the back of your throat he hadn’t been wearing any. Your underwear was still around your heel, but he didn’t seem to care. You looked over your shoulder at him to see him looking down at you with a smirk on his face as he stroked himself, then bit your lip when he rolled a condom over the shaft. With each fast movement of his hand up and down his cock, he made sure the condom was secure before he grabbed your hip, using his other hand to guide himself into you slowly. It already felt bigger than your fingers and you groaned, but it wasn’t an unwelcome stretch. He was so thick that even the tip was stroking your walls, leaving no room for even one of his fingers. After the head of his cock was inside of you, he moved his hand away to grip the other side of your hip and thrusted himself forward to slide into you the rest of the way.

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, fingers clenching and unclenching at the feeling. He wasn’t moving but you couldn’t form a single competent sentence, amazed at the feeling of him inside of you. There was a small spark deep within you that seemed to flicker on just by the thrust of his hips.

“You okay?” he asked after he stopped moving, rubbing circles in your hips.

You nodded at that and that was all he needed to finally start pounding into you. Moaning into the table, your nails scratched at the wood. You started to press yourself back against him and not just lay there while he fucked you, and then he was pressing down on your back.

“Curve your back downwards,” he whispered into your ear, and you did exactly that.

Almost immediately, you moaned out loudly as you could feel him brushing against a spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and he was grunting as his hips smacked against your ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. He kept changing the pace—from fast pumps to deep thrusts.

“Can we…” you breathed as he kept hitting that spot inside of you. “Can we move to the couch?”

He didn’t answer you, but simply pulled you against him. Pulling out of you with a wet squelch, you whined lowly, but then he was turning you around and kissing you so hard that you could feel your lips begin to bruise. Your lips were tingling as he pulled away but then his lips brushed against your own again.

“Arms up,” he growled into your mouth, then kissed your bottom lip.

You lifted your arms and he easily pulled your shirt over your head, then reached behind you to undo your bra. At the sight of your bare chest, he cursed to himself, then walked himself backwards and pulled you with him to keep kissing you until you both toppled over onto the couch. He flipped you over onto your back, your hair framing your face beautifully. His eyes softened at that and he settled himself on top of you, kissing your neck, the shell of your ear, until he reached your chest. His tongue swirled around one of your nipples and you moaned loudly, cradling his head to your chest, then he was giving the same attention to your other nipple.

His hand reached down to firmly grasp himself and slip back into you, the both of you moaning in unison. Your underwear was still wrapped around one of your feet somehow and he ran his other hand that was rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger down your stomach torturously slow and to your leg to grab the delicate fabric and toss it somewhere behind him. Then, he was smoothing his hand back up your leg to wrap it around his waist, anchoring you to him. On instinct, you wrapped your other leg around him and he started to hit that same spot he was hitting when you were bent over on the dining room table. You twitched in pleasure and he caught that, smiling down at you.

Your hands bunched the fabric of his t-shirt around his hips, dragging it upwards until he pulled it the rest of the way off and threw it in the same general direction as your underwear.

“You’re always so cute, even like this,” he whispered against your mouth when he leaned down to kiss you, wrapping his arms around your back to pull you up so you were sitting in his lap. Thrusting into you from below with fast strokes, your head fell back and your lips disconnected. The hands at your back kept you from falling over, then slipped to hold your ass cheeks in his hands.

You moaned loudly, then found his lips again blindly, breathing into his mouth, “This feels s-so g-g-good, Jungkook.”

“Yeah?” he asked, licking and biting at your swollen lips.

“You’re so big and…” you started to say, then your mouth opened into a silent scream when he gave a deep thrust in appreciation. “You’re getting to places even m-my fingers couldn’t r-reach. I can feel you in my t-throat.”

“Your fingers, huh?”

Your eyes snapped open at that, realizing you just admitted you masturbated out loud. Instead of asking you to go into more detail, he started thrusting into you even faster and your breasts bounced with each movement of his hips.

“H-Harder,” you managed to whisper in a hoarse voice.

Instead of saying anything, he obeyed you and you ran your fingers through his hair, your nails digging into his scalp. You glanced down at where he disappeared inside you with each thrust, whimpering at the sight. His hips were a blurred movement and you felt like he was impaling you on his cock. That spark you felt the moment he thrusted into you felt like it was about to explode any second. He growled into your mouth but kept going at the same pace, your moans urging him to go even faster. You could feel yourself almost reach your peak, but then he was spurting his cum once, twice, three times into the latex condom.

You whined when he pulled out of you, then felt him moving further down the couch to pull you by the back of your legs so his face was inches from your vagina. He looked up at you, as if asking if you were okay with this, and you nodded frantically. He chuckled and it vibrated against you, still sensitive from how hard he’d been fucking into you just minutes ago. He licked an experimental strip from the bottom of you all the way to where your lips met, sucking your bundle of nerves between his lips. You’d been so close already that you knew it wouldn’t take you long to reach your first orgasm.

One of your hands fell back against the arm of the couch and gripped it tightly. When he added in a finger and started pushing it in and out of you at a slow yet deep pace, you arched your back. He alternated from using his fingers to penetrate you and circle your clit. Your hips began to grind against his face, whispering desperately for him to go faster, to go harder.

Your legs closed instinctively when the hot feeling inside of you felt like it was about to burst, having never orgasmed before. It made you want him to stop but have him keep going at the same time. He easily pried your legs apart and held them there as he went back to using his tongue instead of his fingers. You couldn’t control yourself as you kept moaning—and loudly, at that.

And then you were coming apart on his tongue.

He pulled back with your cum coating his chin, then wiped it off with the back of his hand. After a few seconds, your eyes opened tiredly, beaming up at him.

“Did you…” you tried to ask, but were panting too heavily. “Did you mean… what you said?”

He stood up and removed the condom, throwing it into the trash. Pulling your spent form up so that he could situate you between him and the back of the couch, you stared at each other happily.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” he said with a soft laugh.

“About…” you trailed off and your fingers danced across the skin of his sweaty chest. The fringe that always fell in his eyes was matted to his forehead but you could feel a bead of sweat dripping down the side of your face, too. He looked into your eyes, curling you more into your chest. “…going out with me?”

“You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” he whispered, pecking your lips once, then another before he pulled away. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t think you’d want a relationship with me and just wanted to…” You hesitated, then continued, “fuck.”

He sat up slightly. “Let me just remind you that this happened because of you. I wanted to wait but you practically threw yourself at me and gave me no choice but to give into your demands.”

Your cheeks burned at that, then you were shoving at his chest. “That’s not—! I didn’t throw myself at yo— Fine, maybe I did, but who was the one who followed me into a bathroom just to tell me how badly he wanted to fuck me, huh? I seem to remember that was you.”

“Say fuck just one more time,” he said, and you sat up, rolling your eyes.

“Why? You say it enough for the both of us.”

He laughed but didn’t push you any further. Standing to his feet, he offered you the palm of his hand and you accepted it. You looked around for your underwear, then walked over to it in a pile with his jeans and boxers. Just as you started to slide them up your legs, however, he stopped you.

“Take those panties off right now.”

You paused, the delicate fabric halfway up your thighs, and looked over at him in surprise. Did he want to… Already?

“Not for that, but you should try living the exhibitionist lifestyle,” he said with a grin. “Feel how freeing it is. Walk with me.”

When you didn’t move, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, tossing your panties behind him once again. You pounded your fists against his back but not with any force behind them. He just laughed and you felt the vibrations, smiling into his bare back.

“So, I’m thinking we go to a drive-in theater tomorrow.”

You perked up at that as he set you down on the kitchen counter. “Really? I love the movies.”

“That’s nice but we’re not going there to see a movie,” he said with a sly grin.

“We’re not going to be driving there naked, are we?”

He moved to take some lunch meat out of the fridge along with some mayonnaise, then went through the cabinets overhead to pull out some white bread. When he dug a butterknife out of one of the drawers, you hopped off the counter and poked at his cheek.

“We’re not, right?” you asked again, but he ignored you. “Jungkook?!”

And that’s when one of his roommates walked in. He let out a sound of protest when one of his shoes kicked at your skirt by the front door, then his eyes fell onto your naked figures arguing in the kitchen.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JUNGKOOK!” he yelled, dropping his backpack to the floor with a thud. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you to put some clothes on—?! Who is sh— I’m going back on campus. I hate you all.”

[smalltragedy]

* herman tommeraas, cis man + he/him | you know donovan mercer, right? they’re twenty one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ice boy by corbin like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 15th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

looks away as i finally post his intro after being kinda awol fr however long. i love him a lot n hes also bri’s character mercy’s younger brother so u hv to be nice to him. think abt mercy’s life. then think abt ducky. im sry in advance tht his intro’s a little longer ive hd ducky fr like. a year or two n i’ve been playing him a While <3 as always like this if u’d like 2 plot n i’ll try 2 msg u bck bt otherwise im gna just hop right into threads bc obv i need to. change my methods.

ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG ABUSE, EYE INJURY, GANG MENTIONS TW.

mini playlist.

father ;; the front bottoms / ice boy ;; corbin / lose yourself ;; eminem / my own worst enemy ;; lit / say it ain’t so ;; weezer / maps ;; yeah yeah yeahs / star stopping ;; lil peep / benz truck ;; lil peep / trauma ;; nf / northern downpour ;; panic! at the disco / your graduation ;; modern baseball.

statistics.

full name: donovan mercer.

nickname(s): ducky.

birthday: march 15th, 1999.

zodiac: pisces sun, aquarius moon, aquarius ascending.

mbti & temperament: intp & theorist / phlegmatic.

label: the despondent.

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york.

sexuality: bisexual (bt not out). 

pinterest.

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

implied abuse tw // their father was not kind, or merciful - and ducky was a runt compared to mercy, small and sensitive and kinder than his brother. weak, and filled with softness, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice - but it didn’t. and it never did.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed. implied abuse end of tw

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

abuse mention // but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be. end of abuse mention

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. he never graduated high school.

abuse mention // anxiety mention // anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

heavy abuse tw // violence tw // it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly.

eye injury // corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse. 

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

the mercer brothers have been floating around the north carolina scene for ~5ish years now, trailing after their father who is consistently chasing after their mother with no luck. they’re currently residing in palm motel. can we get a hell yeah?

personality & facts.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be on him harder. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures at the community college, occasionally, or physics, or whatever peeks the small curiosity inside of him.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs and leaves the rest for mercy. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

drug abuse // has a. complicated relationship with benzos n xanax n a various assortment of painkillers. ironic bc he hates drugs due to. his chosen career n wldnt do most of what they sell, bt yknow. this ws inevitable. hates beer bt forces himself 2 drink it bc toxic masculinity probably man idk.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

violence mention // purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted plots.

u look good tonight ... ;; wld love a connection in which he is feeling emotionally compromised n maybe kinda hs a thing w someone bt hes like. very unreliable n kinda ghosting bc he is very afraid n it wld b maybe bad fr them to b anything other than hook ups. cld apply to smth very intensive or smth very surface lvl i’ll take thousands.

palms sweaty ... moms spaghetti ... ;; ppl tht ducky just hs fkn brawled. cld b anybody fr any reason. ducky prob lost n he prob lost on purpose bt also ur muse cld maybe kick ducky’s ass? cld b a fake fight cld b a real fight. cld b a npc fight n then ur muse cn patch up ducky? possibilities endless. maybe they hv a nice spaghetti dinner n both of them r both bruised up frm their fight. sometimes fights end in spaghetti dinners. thanks eminnem or whatever.

own worse enemy... ;; ducky needs friends bt hes bad at making friends n sometimes he fks shit up by pushing ppl away n self sabotaging n being a major cunt n sometimes he just ghosts bt hes always very remorseful abt it? this cld b a very like. up n down friendship of any type its just. where do they stand. r they friends. r they enemies. r they lovers? probably not lovers. prob just platonic. but still its the thought tht counts. 

and also ;; literally just like. anything. clients who buy off of him n like. casual friends n casual enemies n casual hookups. ppl hes ghosted. ppl hes embarrassed himself in front of. maybe ur muse tries to get ducky to socialize or maybe ducky is like. u are too much fr me. n ur muse runs off crying. endless possibilities all u hv to do is call this number now.