#sorry this is a crack fic

[strange-birb]

Jason and dick are helping Tim with his screaming :)

[boowritess]

bonus part 2

simon can't cook-

okay no he CAN. okay? but it's very much- chop up whatever the fuck is in the fridge throw it in a pot, add as much meat he can find. then he's sorted. creating some sort of stew. but if not that. he thrives off 2 minute noodles.

listen, he's a working man. he can't be fucked thinking about what to make.

and if he needs to eat while not deployed and wants something, he'll get takeaways so he doesn't have to think about it.

and if ya'll are together - whatever you make... motherfucker eats that shit up like he's in a 5-star fucking reasturant.

you made scrambled eggs with bacon??? he's astounded. absolutely in love. has never been more satisfied in his life.

but oh lord. when he retires..

retired!simon fucking riley finds his fucking calling in cooking.

you no longer have to worry about cooking. nah-uh. not with this man who has all the time in the world to hone in on this new culinary world.

idk i just think it's so cute to think about simon going from beans on toast for breakfast to fluffy buttermilk pancakes or french toast with bacon a berry compote.

then for dinner; it's suddenly a whole line of sushi with all your favourites, dumplings to follow and a beef udon recipe dish. or maybe it's a simple roast - however, a perfectly seasoned meat has been sitting for a while in the oven for so long that when you cut into it, it's juicy and tender. and simon fucking beams at the faces you make.

dessert is a whole other game that simon fucking mastered. seriously. because he's placing down a skillet brownie, topped with ice cream and cream. And when you put a spoon into it, it fucking drips with chocolate ya'll.

just rahhhh retired!simon that turns into chef!simon. who just spoils you day and night with food. who gains the ability to make whatever dish you want, whenever you want. 3am and you want a grilled cheese? he can whip it up in seconds and it'll taste like the most gourmet grilled cheese you have EVER had.

btw, i'm torn between making him a gordon ramsay in the kitchen or him being the complete opposite and being so sweet and patient with you when you want to help him.

WAIT- speaks like gordon ramsay but treats you softly. like, you're not cutting with the knife correctly you fucking donkey. but instead of taking it off you, he presses up behind you, gently cups your hands with his and shows you how to do it safely. and he's speaking so sweetly and softly. a stark contrast to when he called you a fucking donkey - but hey you'll get your bite back. ;)

a/n: i can't fucking breathe this was so funny to write. i'm sorry idk why he called u a donkey. i'm fucking hungry if it wasn't obvious with this post.

[blkkizzat]

ꨄ︎『Sneaky Links』ꨄ︎ (PART 2)

Sukuna x Reader

(Mentions of Yuji x Reader)

18+ Minors - DNI

PART 2 of 2 (Read Part 1 first!!!!)

“You should know by now, Y/N, disobedient brats need to be punished.”

Summary: Y/N is a dickmatized manipulative brat. Sukuna is Sukuna. Poor sweet Yuji is collateral damage. CW: cheating, rough play, unprotected sex, spit play, brat taming, spanking, pussy slapping, manipulation, fingering, anal play, edging, tit job, blow job, slight dubcon, blood play, sukuna being toxic, ntr, y/n thinking with her pussy not her brain (but it’s hard not to when you got that wet wet). WK: 5.3k of 8.5k Slightly Black female coded but no descriptors.

A/N: Part 2 took longer than I expected but I hope y'all enjoy it!

So much smut my gawd my mind is so cracked.

“You should know by now, Y/N, disobedient brats need to be punished.” 

Before you could even feel the chill from his threat, your world was spinning as Sukuna had repositioned your body to lay across his thick muscular thighs on the edge of the bed. 

The exact situation you were in didn’t click until a loud smack reverberated in your ears and you felt white hot pain blossom across your left asscheck.

Smack. 

Fully aware of the second, you hissed as you felt the full force of the spank on your right cheek rock its way into your cunt. 

Smack. 

Three spanks in and you were moaning, 

Sukuna’s assault on your ass continued leaving you panting and drooling as your tongue lolled out of your mouth.

Smack. 

A fourth and you gripped his thigh for leverage so you could push your bottom up to meet his hand halfway. The action allowed the friction to transfer deeper into your core making your body convulse with pleasure.

“S-Sukuna!” you screamed out as the fifth smack this time was directly on your pussy. 

Already drenched from your current arousal and earlier sex with Yuji, the squelching sound your slit made from being slapped was absolutely vulgar. The sounds turn you on more than you can bear at the moment and you could tell from laying across his lap, it’s having a similar effect on Sukuna as well. 

The need for him to fuck you was overwhelming.

“FuckMeFuckMeFuckMePLEASEEE!” your words slurry jumble as you writhed against the growing bulge beneath you.

“Fuck you, Y/N?” Sukuna taunted toyingly. 

Another soggy smack rang out from your pussy. 

Your eyes rolled back as you bit your lip so hard you might have drawn blood then but wouldn’t have even noticed.

“Not when you address me so casually...”

Smack.

“...and certainly not when you still have that other brat’s spunk in your cunt, slut. It’s fucking disrespectful to me.” 

Smack. 

Smack. 

SMACK. 

The force from the spanks on your clit took the air out of you, leaving you gasping as your face grew hot with shame.

“Hn… we’ll have to fix that won’t we, Brat?” 

And with that Sukuna plunged three thick fingers into your messy cunt, relishing in your cries of surprise that filled the room. 

His fingers glided in effortlessly from how wet you were, vigorously pumping into you.

You whined as they reached deeper than you ever could yourself and at a more reckless pace than Yuji would ever dream to take with you. 

Sukuna was absolutely relentless. 

Staying true to his words, his fingers pulled the last remnants of Yuji’s cum out of you as you fell to pieces on his lap.

“Did I not make it clear last time who this sloppy hole belonged to Y/N?”

You could barely register Sukuna’s question. 

Your breathy moans and the ASMR sounds from his fingers tearing through your cunt as your walls sucked him in were thrumming in your ears and drowning out everything else.

Vision spotty, you could feel yourself closer to attaining release with every scraping movement of his fingers against the spongy spot within you. The little bundle of nerves going wild at his abuse and pushing you even closer to the edge.  

The tension in you pulls tight like a cord ready to snap and you curl your toes as you could nearly taste your release. 

Almost there. 

“Ah! S-s-sooo clos-see” you finally sputtered out, only focusing on getting off.

That's when Sukuna’s fingers came to an immediate halt inside you. 

“I fucking hate repeating myself Y/N. If the little whore can’t focus enough to answer me properly while I finger fuck her, I’ll simply have to stop.”

Your insides burned terribly at the loss of movement. 

Your breath was shaky. 

All you could think about was your need to cum, it wholly consumed you. 

The attempts you made to push your hips back and fuck yourself on his fingers enough to cum were thuwarted by Sukuna’s free arm locking you in place.

He had you where he wanted you.

“N-No! P-PleasePlease! My pus-syy i-it’s yourssss, Suk- Lord Sukuna!” you corrected yourself, desperately wanting him to continue.

“Hm?” Sukuna questioned. He didn’t know if you fully understood just yet who owned you. 

“Sure about that, bitch? You gonna let anyone else cum in this pussy again?”

You shook your head vigorously, splashing tears onto his thigh.

“N-No”, you huffed and sniffled quietly.

“What was that slut? Speak up.” 

His voice was harsh yet his fingers began moving again, yet this time with slow agonizing circles over your g-spot.

It was fucking maddening.

“I wont! I-I won’t let Yuji come in this pussy again, so please… PLEASE let me cum!”

You desperately begged with little control or care at what you were saying. You knew you would have said anything at this point for release and he knew it too.

He was a real bastard for actually making you say it though.

Pausing, Sukuna suddenly burst into laughter. 

It slightly puzzled you, almost as if it wasn’t directed towards you. But you had no time to consider his motivations as his fingers dug into you harder than before. 

Your eyes rolled further back into your head as all other thoughts gave way again to ecstasy. His thumb joined in now as well, teasing your puckered back entrance.

“Oh! O-ooh godddd”, you sobbed, eyes squeezing shut.

The prodding of his thumb into the rim of your ass while he finger banged your cunt was too intense. 

Not even Yuji had touched you there before. 

The feeling was foreign but you were too overstimulated at this point, you couldn’t process anything from it but pleasure.

“Yesyesyesyes!”, you sighed out like a mantra.

Sukuna could feel your walls clamping down on his fingers, letting him know you were close.

“Shit- That's it. Cream on my fingers, slutty brat.”

As if your body needed his permission, those words were what finally broke the dam inside of you. 

You came with a loud moan as your body convulsed with pleasure. You felt the first taste of the sweet release you’d been yearning for all night. Babbling nonsensically as you repeated Sukuna’s name over and over.  

Your tears, drool and squirt continue to dribble out of you as they drenched his thighs from both ends. 

Sukuna’s fingers continued to bully into you not slowing until you completely rode out your orgasm.

Your chest heaved constricted against his lap and your legs were still shaking but you knew he was far from finished with you. 

His fingers slid out of your weeping pussy with a slimy pop. 

“On your knees.” 

You heard Sukuna’s gruff order boom from above you and you quickly moved, not wanting to test his temperament as you could feel welts on your ass begin to form the spanking you received.

Your legs had been reduced to jelly so you could only slide onto the floor, careful of putting too much pressure on your bruised bottom. 

Gathering yourself, you saw how Sukuna began to manspread for you. Reclining on the bed, he was giving you a delicious view of his hard cock.

You unconsciously licked your lips at his angry red tip swaying back against his stomach and soiling his abs with precum. 

Nevertheless, you couldn’t help but hesitate as him finally letting you cum had cleared a bit of the fog in your brain. You knew what he expected you to do, you had just never done it before. 

Well to him at least. 

Sukuna’s size was intimidating enough to make you nervous but you really didn’t know how to react right now as you weren’t used to this much foreplay with him. 

His previous visits he would show up, fuck you into a stupor and leave. You didn’t even think he had even teased you as much as he had tonight. 

Tonight was different. You weren’t sure why exactly but that thought did give you a bit of courage stirring the brat within you.

A sudden compulsion surfaced to see exactly how much he would give you and how far you could push him.

You could tell by how his engorged cock swayed impatiently that him delaying his own gratification to punish had an effect on him. 

The game you decided to play was a risky one of course, but you wanted payback for the way he treated you. 

For leaving you high and dry for days, for breaking your favorite vibrator, for making you beg to cum but mostly for turning you into such a dizzy cock-hungry bitch who still yearned for him to fuck her silly.

Your thoughts of retribution were soon interrupted as he grew impatient with you.

“Y/N put that fuckin’ bratty mouth to good use for once, bitch. If I left now, your sloppy cunt would still be unsatisfied.” Sukuna growled baring his canines.

You pouted at his cruel insult but it was mostly to suppress a small smile as he confirmed your suspicions. 

Oh he wouldn’t dare leave you now. 

Not in this state. 

And if he wanted you to give him head, you would give The King Asshole of Curses the nastiest sloppiest toppy you could muster. 

Your mind set, you wet your lips making careful eye contact with him through moist batting lashes.

You started to crawl to close the short distance separating you with a slight sway of your hips. 

Slinking up between his legs, your hands caressed his calves and skimmed up over his thighs with feather light touches. 

Your tongue lingered in his inner thigh to lap up some of your juices that soiled his lap, never breaking eye contact. 

It was faint but could have sworn you heard Sukuna suck in a breath through his teeth.

Rising to your knees, you settled yourself into him until you were pressed between his legs and his hefty cock was nestled between your tits.

“Slut…”, Sukuna breathed out feeling your soft mounds enclose his cock. 

He held a good poker face but you could tell from the slight perspiration on his brow and deeper breaths that he wanted this. 

It gave you back some of the nerve you lost feeling his immense size between your bust.

Still holding his gaze, you tossed him a sweet smile before opening your mouth and letting the large amount of saliva you gathered descend from your tongue slowly like honey onto his dick.

The wetness flowed from your mouth and was instantly cooled by air as it left your lips. This earned you a low hiss of approval from The King of Curses as it landed on his hot tip.

Not wasting time, you gathered the mixture of drool and precum that flowed onto your tits and began moving them against his massive cock, up and down slowly.

Indulging yourself, you couldn’t help but squeeze your neglected nipples and moan wantonly from wedging his thick cock between your breasts.

You meant to provoke him but you were driving yourself wild in the process wishing it was your pussy and not your tits enveloping him. 

Your mouth remained open and jaw lax all the while, allowing more of your saliva to freely spill out, still holding his gaze.

Sukuna was nearly about to snap at you for being a cockteasing whore when as if you could sense the insult forming in his mind you finally broke eye contact. Dipping your head low, you took his swollen cockhead in between your lips while your tits continued working the base. 

You swirl your tongue over the hole at his tip and lewdly slurp up more precum causing Sukuna’s hand to shoot into your hair. 

“Fuck” Sukuna let slip out.

His claws were at your roots applying a near agonizing grip. 

Despite the pain on your scalp, the action encouraged you. 

You licked, kissed and slobbered your way down the length of his cock. The obscene noises from blowing him only rivaled by the sounds coming from your cunt earlier.

Sukuna grunted. He honestly hadn’t expected this from you. 

He corrupted you in a way that had broken many others in the past but he could tell by the insolence of your stare how your eagerness was not a show of devotion, but of defiance.

His earlier punishment had only fanned your flames. 

Sukuna thought you would complain and cower away from sucking his cock like the pillow princess he knew you were with Yuji, not attack it like it was your last life line.

Fuckin’ manipulative ass brat. 

The curse king would never admit it out loud but your brattiness turned him on. 

It always had.

He would watch you from within Yuji. Your slick comments when he did something that upset you, your bratty protests when you didn’t get your way– Yuji bent to your will every single time. 

It was infuriating that he never put you in your place. 

The kid was too pussy whipped to see just how big a whore he actually had on his hands waiting to be turned out and used as a fucktoy.

Sukuna stifled a groan and resisted tilting his head back when he felt your soft fingers work their way down to cup his heavy sack. 

You fondle them lightly as you move from giving him a boob job to take him in your mouth deeper and pump the base of his length with your other hand.

He couldn’t let this go on any longer. He wouldn’t allow himself to be undone by you.

Your brattiness entertained him but his pride could never let you have the upperhand for long.

Taking control over the situation, both his hands clutched the back of your skull keeping your mouth on his cock as he stood up. 

And with a forward roll of his hips Sukuna was forcing you to take his entire length in one rough motion, gagging you on it.

You choked and your hands scrambled to push against his thighs but there was still plenty of your slick left from earlier causing you to lose your grip and lurch forward. 

The action had you taking him to the hilt, your jaw stretched beyond its limits. Your tears that pricked the corners of your eyes spilled forth. His cock filled your throat so deeply there was barely room for air.

“Now, now, Y/N.” Sukuna chided you as you flailed uselessly against him to release you. 

“You were so eager to suck on this cock a minute ago, show me how well your throat can take it too.”

Your throat in question was currently being fucked raw as your face was roughly slammed into his crotch. 

Pubic hair tickled your cheeks and your nostrils filled with the pungent scent of his arousal which combined with lack of oxygen, made you dizzy. 

You croaked out a moan as you gagged further on his dick.

The vibrations that traveled along Sukuna’s cock caused him to thrust deeper with force as he stuffed himself further down your throat.

Your jaw hurt like hell but the pain was slowly being overshadowed by your weepy cunt. Once more your pussy was flaring with jealousy as you felt phantom strokes inside you sync up with him ravaging your throat. You couldn’t help but be turned on again from Sukuna’s rough treatment.

You would have rubbed your clit if your nails hadn’t found purchase in his hips, leaving marks and long scratches as your body instinctively clawed away at him to release you from his hold.

“Take it Y/N. Swallow it all like a good little fuckdoll. Don’t spill a drop.” he snarled out the command and you could tell by how his cock thrashed against your throat he was close.

A few more spurts of his hips and he came cursing profanities into the air. His hot cum hits the back of your throat, filling you as it warms its way down into your belly. 

Waiting until your throat wrung every drop from him Sukuna finally releases you and you collapse down into the ground coughing. 

You couldn’t help but spit up some of his seed. Despite your earlier bravado you weren’t prepared to take his girth fully nor for how thick his cum would be down your throat, which was now left raw and scratchy.

“Brats like you can never follow instructions well, can they?”

You were tempted to give him the finger for nearly suffocating you on his dick but you could only scowl at him while your hands tried to soothe your throat. 

“Tch, cumming just from getting your face fucked and without permission too? You still don’t deserve me fucking you.” Sukuna mused, the grin spreading wide on his face. 

You looked up at him incredulously as his voice threatened punishment again.

“Y-You’re kidding me”, you coughed out. You couldn’t help but furrow your brow and pout. You more than earned it in your opinion.

Sukuna chuckled at your reaction. Manspread and seated once again on the bed, he pumped his cock, giving you a once over.

He had made an utter mess of you: stray strands from your disheveled hair stuck to your cheeks soiled with tears; cum dribbled down the corners of your mouth and chin with any attempts you made to wipe it away merely smearing it on your face further; your chest heaved and glistened with sweat and whatever other fluids it collected; while that disobedient pussy of yours was beginning to seep a wet spot onto the floor from where you sat. 

Just filthy.

He could deny you further, if he wished. 

Tease you further. Make you beg for him as he knew how much you hated it which made him enjoy it that much more.

But then he would also be denying himself. 

He saw how you enthusiastically rose to the challenge of giving him head and it made him impatient to see you make more of a mess of yourself on his cock, which grew harder the more he took in your sullied form.

“Y/N, if that filthy pussy of yours want to cum on my dick she’s going to have to fuck herself on it.”

The curse king moved back onto the bed to fully recline and looked at you expectantly. 

You nodded and wordlessly followed, your voice still recovering.

Sukuna had preferred to fuck you ass up with an arched back, but if this was your punishment you would gladly accept it.

You would take any position if it resulted in his cock inside of you to be honest.

Crawling over his large form to straddle him, you let your hands roam over the taunt muscles of his abs. 

Your hands traced his tattoos as you began to grind your slickness on his erection. 

It felt amazing feeling him underneath you. The thick girth of him spread your pussy lips apart as you created more friction against your clit. You quivered. It was too good.

“On with it already, pillow princess.” Sukuna smirked, giving your ass a firm slap. He wasn’t going to cum like some virgin just from you rubbing up against him.

You yelped as the action had you clenching your cheeks. Your ass was still very much sore but Sukuna would never let you have a moment to enjoy yourself unless it was on his terms. 

“Then just lay back and let me fuck you, okay?” you snapped, your brattiness getting the best of you once again but you still complied as you centered his cock over your entrance giving it a few pumps. 

You half expected him to flip you over and choke you out while drilling you into the mattress for sassing him again.However when you looked at him you saw his gaze transfixed on where your cunt was attempting to swallow him whole.

“Then just fucking do it slut”, he answered with another smack to your cheeks. 

Sukuna wouldn’t let you off this easily by provoking him. You were going to ride this dick, he would make sure of it.

You wanted to glare at him but you were too preoccupied with getting his monstrous dick inside of you and your eyes shut in concentration. Pressing yourself down onto him you only met firm resistance.

Your body was screaming at you that it wouldn’t fit even though you knew it would as it had many times in the past with him bullying it in you.

You hissed, pushing yourself down more. You hoped gravity would do its job here but you had barely gotten the head in. 

Tears were already flowing, the stretch was too intense, he was too thick. 

“Aw, am I too much for the little brat?” I thought you were going to fuck me?” Sukuna teased, feigning boredom. 

“I AM”, you whine through gritted teeth. You were so wet in addition to having been stretched from his fingers yet it was still this difficult.

Leaning more unto him for support you tried to adjust yourself but it only caused his cockhead to begin to slip out of you.

“Too damn slow”, Sukuna barked at you before firmly gripping your hips and ramming up into you. 

You let out a screech so loud you would have thought it woke your neighbors, that is if you could give a fuck to think about anything else but Sukuna ripping through you right now.

His fat blunt tip rammed against your cervix and it took all the air out of your lungs. You were left reeling, arched back as your vision blacked out momentarily. 

Trembling, you fell forward onto his tattooed chest. It was too intense, you were too full. Too much too fast of what you had been begging for all night, all at once.

Your legs trembled and your shoulders shook. 

Your walls compressed Sukuna’s length and he let out a low growl at its intensity.

“Shit bitch - did you just cum again!?” 

“S’your f-fault,” you slurred out with a sigh, wiping the drool dripping down your chin.

Pushing yourself up, you started to swivel your hips, grinding on Sukuna in a slow circular wine. 

You could feel your whole body buzzing from your orgasm. You were too sensitive, but it wasn’t nearly enough. 

You needed more of him.

You couldn’t think of anything else except for him buried inside of you. 

You leaned back to grip Sukuna’s thighs for support as you picked up your pace the more you recovered until you were bucking on him. 

The angle had you impaling yourself on him. You were putting on a show for the curse king who drank in the view of you in shambles on his cock. 

Your tits bounced wildly as your cunt greedily sucked him in and ignored the pain of the stretch which was incomparable to the amount of pleasure you are receiving. 

“That’s it Y/N. Use that filthy pussy of yours to gobble up this dick.”

Your eyes rolled back into your head as more obscenities spilled forth from him. It only made you hornier and you could feel him start to move in tandem with you, his hands leaving your hips and finding their way to your breasts, pinching your nipples harshly. 

“Mmm shit, t-too good, t-ooo good” you groaned at his manhandling of you which caused you to gush around his cock creating a white ring of fluids. 

You see Sukuna grit his teeth and adjust his hips to thrust up into you deeper. Being on top and watching him underneath you, seeing the pleasure you were giving him you feel a surge of power rush through you. 

Sitting up from your reclined position, your hands ran over his that were still grasping your tits before settling on his muscular forearms to anchor yourself. 

His strokes were making your pussy flutter with pleasure, every nerve alight. 

You weren’t just playing with fire, you were dancing in it and it made you feel higher than any actual drug ever could. 

Fucking him like this was a drug. 

You would probably still hate him and yourself in the morning but right now you were his greedy little whore and you wanted him to give you even more. 

“I-I-I w-wan-t…” you started but lost focus. You were losing yourself again and you still had something you wanted before you came, one more trick up your sleeve.

“Yes? Use your words Y/N. Tell me what my lil slut wants.” He purred teasingly however the strain was evident in his voice.

You come closer to him, your chest pressed against his as continues fucks into you his fingers digging into your ass cheeks.

“Ryo..men, d-daddy.. .. you-r tongue… ki-ss me” you cooed seductively. Putting on your best babyface and looking down at him with a lustful pout wanting him to indulge you.

His eyes flashed. You truly caught him off guard with this one. 

Your legs wrapped around him tightly as he suddenly sat up and his hand was around your neck once again but he never stopped his hips driving into you.

Your eyes widened in response but they were filled with excitement. The thrill of pushing him further and the danger of it all was intoxicating. 

The air was heavy with the smell of your sweat and sex and you leaned deeper into the hand around your neck. You couldn’t help the gleeful look on your face as you shivered and stroked the arm that grasped your neck as if daring him to squeeze tighter. It was audacious.

Did you truly get off on edging death?

Sukuna was wondering something similar as the desire to actually snap your neck this time for real this time rose within him. 

You took liberties with him that he would have killed his concubines for without a second thought back in his day. But as much as he mocked, taunted and called you all manners of whore, you were no concubine. You were a sorcerer, much weaker than him of course, but a strong one nonetheless.  

One that he had either since turned into sex-crazed whore who had developed a death wish kink…

…Or one that he had severely underestimated and was far more manipulative than he gave you credit for. One who would do or say anything to provoke him into giving her what she wanted.

Truthfully you were all of those things. 

He could punish you later but Sukuna would not deny you at this moment. It was absolutely sinful how you would whore yourself to him, completely forgetting about Yuji as soon as he was in your guts. 

Loosening his grip on your neck, he grabbed your jaw harshly bringing you closer.

“Open”

You obeyed without fuss, sticking out your tongue.

He tilted your head upwards toward him and you felt his spit hit the back of your throat.

“Swallow”

The command had barely left his mouth before you were already savoring his thick saliva before you stuck out your tongue to prove you had in fact swallowed it all this time.

“Good girl.” he muttered. Sukuna’s breath was hot on your face before his mouth crashed onto yours, devouring you. 

The brutal kiss overwhelmed your already overstimulated senses. Your teeth clashed against his as mouth ravaged yours. Even his kiss was dangerous as his razor sharp canines cut your tongue and your blood flowed into his mouth. 

You felt him groan into you as he drank it eagerly, nipping and sucking on your tongue, savoring the flavor.

Completely disoriented, you didn’t realize the lack of oxygen you had until he pulled back, your blood staining his lips.

Sukuna chuckled at your dazed expression. 

His kiss left you in a stupor as you hung onto his shoulders utterly breathless.

Catching your breath, you lean in closer as your tongue slides over his lips to taste your blood on them.

“M-more w-wanna c-cum Daddy.” you mewled against his lips.

“More? Not sure if daddy’s bratty baby can handle it,” he replied mischievously. 

Sukuna’s breath fanned across your face as he captured your lips again roughly. 

He placed a hand behind you but nothing could have prepared you for the sensation of the mouth on his palm opening and tongue diving directly into your asshole.

You cried as your body instinctively pressed yourself closer to him, breaking the kiss and burrowing your face in his neck trying to keep his tongue from going deeper. However, that only gives the mouth on his stomach better access as it opens to lap at your clit as he continued to fuck into you.

“Don’t run from this slut you asked for more.” Sukuna grunted in your ear, the smirk evident in his voice.

You had asked for more but the sensations of being fucked and sucked from both ends was making you crazy. 

“Damn, so fucking tight. Gonna cum in this pussy just like this. Going to breed her, you’d like that wouldn’t you Y/N?” 

Sukuna taunted you and you felt his words travel through your ears and straight to your cunt.

His free hand came up to yank your head back for your response but you could barely keep your eyes opened and focused on him. 

“U-h Uh-huh,” You nodded as incoherent babbles were the only noises that could muster.

You had never experienced an assault on your senses this hard. Every nerve felt like it might combust as the heat within terrorized you, making you feel as if your entire body was erogenous. 

“Cum for me baby girl”, he whispers into your neck as he bit down, drawing blood again.

His words made your chest tighten and your stomach flutter, both betraying you.

Every trick you tried on him thus far had backfired on you when he returned your energy. 

Every time you toyed with him he would toy with you harder. 

You realized now you’d never win.

You didn’t know if you hated him or loved him for it. The sane part of you was locked away somewhere and all you knew now is your body was screaming to feel his seed fill you, to breed you.

You could feel his cock twitching inside of you and it proved all too much for you to handle.

Sukuna swallowed your screams of ecstasy as you came harder than ever before, toppling over your peak and jerking against him as tremors overtook your entire body. Your mind blank, you collapsed against him tapping out as your senses faded to black.

You weren't out for long but as you came to, you noticed he had placed you back on the bed, on your belly as he moved to position himself behind you.

“I’ve fucked you dumb. Just look at you, half unconscious.”

You could only grumble at him as your whole body felt drained of both your fluids and your energy. 

“Hands and Knees, Y/N” Sukuna ordered.

“5 minutes Daddy pleasssseeee” you slurred, you couldn’t possibly take any more of him, your body needed to recover you were exhausted

“Fuck no. Hands and knees slut. It's gonna take more than one load to knock that greedy cunt up.”

You groaned. Your limbs were liquified and you couldn’t manage to support yourself with your arms. 

Head rolling to one side to support yourself with your pillow you lif your ass up into the air. Your arms reached back to spread your cheeks wide for him,

Sukuna, satisfied with your position, whistled at the sight of you. “Need fuck this cum back into you and fill you up again.”

His heavy hand landed with a smack against your puffy pussy for emphasis. You whine as the slap causes your mixed fluids to spurt out of you, dribbling down your sex and onto the bed.

Sukuna’s evil laughter rang into your ears as he plows into you once more. His thrusts blessing you with the toe curling backshots you’ve learned to crave and causing you to come undone once again over his cock as he fucked you senseless over and over. “See Yuji? When I told you I could breed your bratty pillow princess into an obedient cum dump… I meant that.”

LOL! 

You like? Comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

Long A/N ahead:

Any mistakes please DM, no rude or criticizing comments please. (I literally am so busy but got up at 5am to finish this.) This is the first smut I’ve written in ages. I didn’t expect it to be so LONG my fucking god. But I actually enjoyed writing this! Especially Sukuna softening a bit towards Y/N at the end. Not really in a romantic way per se but in a “I actually enjoy your pussy presence and would likely keep you around once I'm released from your cuckass boyfriend.” kind of way. I also see it as him indulging Y/N and wanting to breed her just to piss off Yuji lmfao. He would totally knock you up out of spite. I also had fun writing Y/N here as a brat but one who doesn’t give up the fight, just finds new ways to be a brat and enjoys the punishment lmfao. (Me af) I feel like complete brat taming works well with Toji, Geto, and Choso. Sukuna on the otherhand needs a constant challenge or he will just get bored easily and kill you. You gotta tease him enough to keep him interested but he still ain’t gonna let you win. But no, even though I completely tortured and cucked Yuji here (cause he was aware this entire time), I actually really adore him. Yuji is so baby girl. I want to play with his hair and watch dumb movies on the sofa with cuddling with him and then once I get horny Sukuna can fuck my face into the cushions. OMFG SHOULD I WRITE THAT!?

What’s next?

Well my next 3 stories (in order of longest to shortest) center around lactation (Toji), van sex (Geto) and thigh job (Nanami) kinks. Which one y'all want first? ;)

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14

After sandwiches, Nancy turns to El. “Could you look for Barb again?”

El sets her mouth and nods. She glances at Steve, who also nods and moves to set up the living room again.

Eddie follows him in and picks up the blindfold. Steve doesn’t try to hide his smirk. “You’ve got questions, I’m guessing?”

Eddie shrugs, leans against the couch. Watches the fabric as he pulls it through his fingers. Right hand, left hand. Right, left. “Mostly thinking I was wrong about you. Even more than I initially thought.”

Steve smiles. “We never got to have this conversation in the future, but I do know what your bandana means.” He stops for a second, watches Eddie’s hands. Right, left. “I’m offering… not an olive branch, per se, but…”

“An invitation?” Right, left.

“Exactly.” He shrugs. “If there’s anything you want to know…” he trails off, lets it hang in the air.

Eddie smiles. “Just one thing.” He holds it up in his left hand. “Who d’you use it on?”

Steve grins and turns away, looking for the remote. “Myself.” His smile falls. “Or- I did. You heard about the Russians, right?”

Eddie steps up beside him. Offers him the blindfold. “Yeah. Makes sense.”

Steve shrugs. “I’d say if I could go back in time, but…” he gestures around with a grin, letting it widen when Eddie chuckles. “Turns out going back in time does nothing for the memories I already have.”

Eddie frowns. “Kinda fucked up, isn’t it? Your body reverted back to its sixteen-year-old self, but your brain is still twenty.”

“I mean, imagine me coming to school one day looking like this, and the next I come in with scars, looking half a decade older. People would talk.”

Eddie hums. “You’re probably right. Still, it can’t be easy, having those mental reminders with none of the physical.”

Steve grins at him. “Did you miss the part where I don’t have concussions?”

Eddie snorts. “Fair enough. Still, I bet the scars looked badass.”

“Very metal,” Steve agrees. “Y’know, if you’d survived? We woulda had matching scars.” He trails a hand down his side. “The bats ripped us both open. Woulda gotten me if you, Robin and Nance hadn’t gotten there when you did. You took on a bat with nothing but an oar from a rowboat.” He turns to look at Eddie. “You told me once, how you’re a coward. How you run.” He shakes his head, looks away. “You didn’t. Not when it mattered. And you won’t this time.”

“Maybe this time we’ll have matching not-scars,” Eddie says, then points at Steve. “And no concussions.”

“And no concussions,” Steve parrots, laughing. “If we have to deal with the Russians again, though? I’m definitely doing something different.”

“We,” Eddie murmurs, shrugging when Steve looks at him. “We’ll do something different. You think any of these kids are gonna leave you alone after this? You think Eleven will leave you alone?”

“I hope not,” Steve answers honestly. “And you? You’re staying?”

Eddie shrugs again. “You said I didn’t run when it mattered. Who’s to say this doesn’t matter just as much? I’m not running.”

Steve smiles softly at him. “You’re a good man, Eddie Munson.”

Eddie levels him with a look. “I sell weed, Steve.”

Steve snorts. “I’m well aware, dude, I’ve bought from you before. If all goes well, I’m planning on buying another.”

Eddie laughs. “Hell, man, if it all goes well, I’ll give it to you, free of charge.”

Steve winks. “I’ll hold you to it,” he says, then leaves Eddie to process while he goes to get El.

Of course wherever El goes, Mike’s not far behind, which means he, Dustin and Lucas follow, and of course Nancy follows, and since everyone else is already in there, Jonathan and Robin follow too, so they all end up crammed in the living room again, with bated breaths and tightly-held hands, as El settles in front of the TV and puts the blindfold on.

Finally, she speaks. “I see her. She is alive.”

Nancy slumps into the couch and lets out a breath.

Then El speaks again. “She does not have very long.”

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @str4wb3rry-guy @paperbackribs @ninjapirateunicorns @bisexualdisastersworld @hiscrimsonangel @lolawonsstuff @xo-r4e @thedragonsaunt @l0st-strawberry

[teecupangel]

[Desmond Miles has successfully saved a Levantine village during the Third Crusaders after waking up in the past.]

Grateful civilian: Thank you, stranger! You have saved our village from the cruelty of war. May we ask who you are so we may know the name of our savior?

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot say ‘Desmond Miles’ because that might accidentally create a ripple effect in the future.]

[Desmond Miles believes he cannot use any of the names of the ancestors who haven’t been born yet especially the Kenways because of how important they are to his history.]

[Desmond Miles has not yet processed the shock of dying a painful death and waking up in the past and his brain is blanking.]

Desmond: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

[The people Desmond Miles have saved now believed their savior’s name is Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.]

[Desmond Miles has committed identity fraud.]

[… and he will continue to commit identity fraud.]

[slutforsilverfoxes]

This song came on my shuffle while I was cleaning so therefore I am not responsible for this heinous crack 🙃 But also, sorry in advance 💀

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!BAU!reader established relationship (+ a feature by two of the BAU hooligans)

__________

“We really couldn’t fly into a closer airport?” you grumble under your breath, forehead pressed against the cool window of the Tahoe as a seemingly endless expanse of cornfield flies by in a blur.

Hotch uses the rearview mirror to glance at your sour face, raising a single eyebrow in challenge. “And where, pray tell, is this closer airport you speak of? Hiding amongst the corn?”

“Hiding amongst the corn?” you mimic in a childish tone, and he grunts in response although the corner of his mouth twitches with mirth.

“It was almost better when you two were keeping things under wraps,” Derek chimes in from the passenger seat. His long legs allowed him to claim shotgun while you and Emily were relegated to the back. Dave, JJ, Garcia, and Spence were in the vehicle behind you, much to Penelope’s chagrin about being thwarted from “napping on my sturdy hunk of Derek,” as she had so eloquently put it.

“To be fair, you chose to ride with us,” Aaron comes to your defense, and you pipe up with a vindicated, “Yeah! Thanks, babe.” You lean forward to press a kiss to his cheek and he frowns at you, pulling a pouty, “What?” from you in return.

“Sit back and put your seatbelt on,” he chides gruffly, and you can hear the unspoken brat that would’ve been sure to follow if you were alone.

“Fine,” you huff in feigned annoyance, settling into your seat and clicking your seatbelt in place.

The car is silent for a few minutes save from the wind whipping past, then you lean towards the center console and ask, “Can we at least listen to music?”

Emily perks up at that, pulling her head from the case file in her lap. “Music would be good.”

“Here, Derek,” you offer, sliding your phone towards him. “It’s unlocked so you can queue songs. But if I see you swiping anywhere else, I swear to god-”

“Chill, Y/N,” he laughs out. “Ain’t no way I’m risking burning my retinas with a nude from our boss man.”

“Morgan,” your boyfriend sighs like an exasperated parent while you tease, “Only cause he’s too hot to look at.”

“Please just put some music on,” Aaron groans after your comment, and you can see the back of his neck flushed red through the gap between the seat and headrest.

“Alright, alright,” Derek finally relents, plugging in your phone and then turning to smile at you when he spots a playlist titled AH🖤. “Now that’s pretty cute,” he admits, and you return his grin with a bashful one of your own.

Then your smile morphs into a horrified gasp when his thumb hovers over the playlist, the world seeming to move in slow motion as his finger makes contact with the screen.

Corpse’s gravelly voice instructing the listener to Choke me like you hate me, but you love me blares through the speakers as you shriek in surprise. Hotch jams his palm into the volume knob, mercifully cutting off the music before the next line can assault everyone’s ears.

The car is plunged into silence once more as your face flushes under the delighted scrutiny of one Derek Morgan. Emily, to her credit, remains unfazed (mostly because she’s the recipient of your lascivious texts about Aaron).

“We’re never talking about this again,” you whisper, mortified, unwilling to meet Aaron’s gaze in the rearview mirror. You’re so paying for this when you get to the hotel tonight.

“On the contrary,” Derek counters in an almost giddy fashion, “I just figured out how we’re going to pass the time until we reach the precinct. So, Y/N, are you the choker or the chokee?”

You collapse on yourself, head in your hands as you wail, “I wanna die,” while your boyfriend quietly mumbles, “I’m resigning when we get back to Quantico.”

—————

A/N: For those of you wondering… yes, this song is on my Hotch playlist 🥵

AH tags 🖤 @gothwifehotchner @iyv-ray24 @mrs-ssa-hotch @criminalskies

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

---

Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

[firenati0n]

several sentence sunday <3 :)

hello friends :) thank you to @sparklepocalypse @onthewaytosomewhere @captainjunglegym @magicandarchery @getmehighonmagic @bigassbowlingballhead @junebugclaremontdiaz @violetbaudelaire-quagmire (HBD!!!!) @itsmaybitheway @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @anincompletelist for the tags <3

proposal au titled "the full spectrum of human emotion" coming eventually. there is spanking involved:

Alex leans closer to Henry's ear, watching a lone drop of sweat slide down the man's temple, and whispers, “I did say you were allowed, sweetheart.”  Henry's cheeks go a lurid shade of pink, almost glowing from within under the lights. He takes a second to assess, landing on a decision surely meant to end Alex's life prematurely. Extinguished in his youth; death by over-the-clothes lap dance spanking.  He raises his hand and brings it down with a swift crack and Alex feels it through his jeans, all the way to the blood vessels pounding in his temples. But Henry doesn't stop there. No, he goes the extra mile, goddamn overachieving fuck he is, and squeezes. Alex is going to die in this fucking bar. If the bull didn’t do it, and the dancing didn’t do it, it’s definitely going to be the fucking spanking. The patrons are wolf-whistling, Nora is yelling all sorts of dirty encouragement, and Alex. Well, Alex is over the fucking moon.  “That's the best you got, baby boy?” “I suggest you don't push me right now, Alex, if you don't want to cause a scene in this lovely bar.”

xoxo roop

+ tags below the cut and open tag as always <3

@ninzied @dumbpeachjuice @wordsofhoneydew @saturntheday @leaves-of-laurelin @inexplicablymine @sherryvalli @littlemisskittentoes @heybuddy-drabbles @priincebutt @whimsymanaged @ships-to-sail @futureseaempress @happiness-of-the-pursuit @theprinceandagcd @tintagel-or-cockleshells @cricketnationrise @tailsbeth-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @myheartalivewrites @onward--upward @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @indomitable-love @anchoredarchangel @gay-flyboys @cultofsappho @welcometololaland @gayrootvegetable @rockyroadkylers @suseagull04 @eusuntgratie @orchidscript @cha-melodius @candyspandemonium @kiwiana-writes

[punktactical]

OLDER , ace + ?

★

summary ; ace finds out you like him. time to make his move! things don't seem to go as planned . . . (highschool au)

warnings ; cussing , older man - younger woman , crackfic-ish? , fluff.

a/n ; requests r open, that's all i've got to say

★

★

everyone knew you had a thing for ace, it was no secret.

you always asked to be partners in projects, always coming over to his house, and always finding excuses to be close to each other. so when ace finally found out, he was ecstatic.

"holy shit, [y/n] likes me?" sabo rolled his eyes, frowning. "didn't you know? it's obvious as hell." ace shakes his head, slightly flustered. he always thought you were cute but he never thought you'd fall for someone like him. luffy chewed on his granola bar, smacking loudly. "so are you guys getting married?" ace screeched, glowing red. "no, what the hell? that's for grown ups, luffy!" sabo snapped his fingers, bringing ace's attention back to him. "so what're you going to do now with this information?" ace shrugs, rubbing the back of his head. "ask her out, i guess." luffy raises his hand, grinning.

"there's a dance this friday after school, how about you ask her to the dance!"

so that's how ace got here, standing in the middle of the hallway with a bouquet of roses in his hand and a teddy bear in the other. sabo looked around the corner, before turning back around with a whisper-shout. "here she comes! get ready!" sabo and luffy rush to hide, while ace gulps down his nervousness. he can hear your sweet giggles down the hallway, chatting with your friends. he could listen to you all day.

you finally turn the corner, stopping in your tracks. there stood portgas d. ace, your close friend, holding a bouquet of flowers for god knows who. your group whispered amongst themselves, before nudging you forward. ace grins sheepishly at you, before holding the items out to you. quirking an eyebrow up, you question him. "what's this all about?" with a shaky breath, he answers -

"do you wanna go to the dance with me this friday?"

your friends squeal, obviously taking videos capturing the cute moment. you smile, cheeks warming a shade of red. "of course, ace." you grab the items and wrap your arms around him. he smiled into your shoulder, arms snaking around your back. he felt like he had finally won at life.

the day of the dance had finally come around, leaving ace anxious. does he look good? does he look stupid? why wasn't his hair cooperating, damn it! as he continued to fuss over his appearance, a looming figure crosses over him.

"ace?"

the raven-haired boy shrieks, spinning around. it was that damn old man, garp. he laughs at the younger boy, arms crossed over his chest. ace grumbles, pouting slightly. "can you not sneak up on me? i'm busy right now, grandpa." the older man shakes his head. "what's got you so worked up?" ace brushes through his hair, a soft blush collecting on his face. should he tell him? nah, he'll embarrass him even more -

"ace is going to the dance with his girlfriend." luffy speaks between chewing, a piece of chicken in his hand. "fuck you!" ace barks, stomping away to his room. he can hear garp's boisterous laugh from downstairs, taunting him.

★

"do you really need to drive me to the dance?" ace was currently sitting in the back of garp's car, arms crossed pathetically. garp shakes his head. "no, but i just wanna see yer little girlfriend." he grins, flashing his teeth in the rear view mirror. ace sneers at him. "why? you've met her before, it's [y/n]." garp's eyes widen, grin deepening. "her? that sweet girl? why'd she go as low as you?" ace is about to go off on him, before feeling a buzz in his pocket. snatching his phone out of his pocket, his face lights up at the text displayed.

' meet u there <3 cant wait to see u in ur fit xx '

he melted at your text, responding with a heart. garp looks at the boy through the mirror, smirking. "she textin' you?" ace nods, eyes never leaving his screen.

★

ace hops out of the car, waving goodbye to garp. "bye? i still need to take picture of you two, you're growing up real fast, ace!" grumbling, ace rubs his face. why did he need to keep embarrassing him? "ace, over here!" there it was, that sweet voice. the one he could listen to all day. his head snapped in the other direction, catching you in your dress, jaw dropping. you looked gorgeous.

"ace, go pose with your girlfriend!" garp smacks him on the back, sending him forward. "s-she's not my girlfriend, grandpa!" ace growls, standing next to you reluctantly. garp waltz over, a grin plastered on his bearded face. "you look lovely, [y/n]." you smile, shyly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "thank you, sir." he chuckles.

"just call me garp, sweetheart."

you blush, watching him position his phone before taking the picture. "you both look great, less ace though."

"whatever, you can go now!" ace ushers him back to the car. "i'll be back to pick you up, see you kids later." he winks at you before finally driving off. ace sighs, relieved, turning back to you. "[y/n]? you okay?" you have a dazed look on your face, a bright red dusting your cheeks. "ace."

"your grandpa is so fucking hot."

his face dropped, eyes widening in horror.

maybe that's why you always wanted to go to ace's house, to see garp, not him.

who knew?

[rainbowsmagicandshit]

Fanfic prompt/idea:

Mordred is Emrys (not really tho)

(Super long. TL;DR at bottom)

Someway, somehow, Arthur and his knights (Leon, Elyan, Percy, Gwaine, mordred) + Merlin meet someone while they’re away from the citadel who tells them about Emrys. Might be someone trying to kill them and boasting about the all mighty Emrys or might be a friendly, peaceful magical person who stopped for a chat or something else, choice is yours. Anyway, that night as they eat dinner around the campfire, they start talking about this Emrys. At first they’re like “that’s kooky” and laughing but then Percival speaks up quietly and a bit nervously. He says that while he’s sought sanctuary for the night or a few days in Druid camps before he became a knight, he’s heard about Emrys. Now, everyone is actually interested instead of just laughing it off.

Arthur: tell me more.

Percy: well.. the druids highly respect this man almost as if he’s a deity. I don’t know too much, and it’s been a while. I do remember that everyone knew about him no matter which Druid camp it was, even the children. It seems they tell a lot of stories about him to their young’uns.

Arthur: anything else?

Percy: sorry, sire, that’s all I remember. But if you really want to know more you could try to ask the druids.

They all became quiet and continued to eat, Merlin and Mordred relieved this conversation is over. …Until,

Arthur, remembering Mordred is a Druid: Mordred, you’re a Druid. Do anything about this?

Mordred and Merlin: *sweating bullets just wanting this dangerous topic over with* *glances at each other nervously*

Gwaine: WHA? Mordred, you’re a Druid?! You’ve been hold holdin’ out on us, mate!

Arthur realizes that Mordred’s heritage had not, in fact been a known thing, but they’ve made peace with the druids, it’ll be fine.

Mordred, nervously: oh, um, yes, I am…

The knight all take a few moments to be like “wow… never would’ve guessed” and “aren’t druids normally peaceful people? How you become a knight?”

Arthur, wanting to get things back on track: so, Mordred, do you know anything?

Mordred, nervousness increasing, knowing Merlin doesn’t want Arthur to know who he is, but not wanting to lie to his king, eyes darting between the two and all over the camp: uh…um… I… uh, I..I… I guess, yes. *Merlin’s glare intensifies*

Arthur, not noticing Merlin’s death glare at Mordred: tell me more.

Mordred, trying to figure out what to say to satisfy his king’s curiosity but not incur Emrys’ wrath (Emrys already hates him enough for some reason, he doesn’t want to make it worse): well… um, there’s… well there’s Emrys… and there’s this prophecy involving him. Most druids know of it; it’s centuries old.

Percival: oh, that’s right… Something about a magical king, right?

Mordred: the Once And Future King.

Gwaine: hold on a minute.. that sounds familiar… Ah! That’s right! I heard about it from a storyteller at a tavern once. I thought it was an odd name so it stuck. It’s a love story, right?

Mordred, nervously glancing between Merlin and Arthur (Merlin now looking at Gwaine with exasperation): um… I don’t know if that’s what it is.. but there definitely is a deep bond between Emrys and the Once And Future King.

Arthur: continue.

Mordred, trying to stay focused on Arthur instead of the once again glaring warlock beside him: so the prophecy says that the Once And Future King will unite the land of Albion, return magic to the land, and bring about a golden age of peace and prosperity for all. And Emrys is foretold to help him. * internally: please let be enough to satisfy him🥺😣😖*

Elyan: so the stories are about this king and Emrys is just there to help?

Mordred, sweating: um…

Gwaine: if that’s the case shouldn’t you druids be worshiping the king instead?

Sounds of agreement around the fire.

Leon to Mordred: is there more to us than that?

Mordred, under curious and intense gazes again: uh, yes… Emrys is a very powerful, immoral warlock said to—

“IMMORTAL??!!!” Merlin squawked, surprised.

Mordred, very nervous, whispers: ….um…yes………. *telepathically: did you not know?*

Merlin, telepathically: I am not immoral.

Mordred, telepathically: it’s what the prophecies say

Merlin, telepathically: they’re wrong

Mordred, telepathically: …um,, there’s a lot who say you are.

Merlin, telepathically: No. I’m NOT. I can’t be immortal. That’s ridiculous.

Mordred, telepathically: they say you are. That’s why the call you Emrys.

Merlin and Mordred continue to glare and the knights and Arthur look on wondering when those two got close enough to communicate only looks and without talking. Arthur is not jealous. Not. At. All. That would be ridiculous.(Yes he is, he’s the only one who’s supposed to communicate with Merlin silently. How dare Mordred)

Suddenly Merlin stands up: I’m going to wash the dishes *aggressively goes around the camp and grabs everyone’s dishes, then stomps into the woods to a nearby stream*

Arthur: you were saying Mordred?

Mordred: oh, right! Yes, so Emrys is said to be the most powerful warlock to ever live. He and the Once And Future King are said to be equals and without him the Golden Age can’t happen. While the Once And Future King is the king, Emrys is said to be his advisor and teacher of sorts. He also protects the Once And Future King and supports him any way he can.

The knights and king look thoughtful taking in this information. They ask Mordred more questions, just little stuff and clarifications, and Mordred, relaxing that he’s getting through this without blowing Emrys’ identity let it slip that “the time of the prophecy is upon us” and that Arthur is said to be the Once And Future King. Whoops.

Everyone around the campfire is now totally interested in this and wanting to know if it’s true and Mordred’s like “um… yeah, that’s what everyone is saying…” and REALLY wanting this conversation to be over with before he slips up about Merlin. He’s also really glad Merlin is still washing their dishes far enough away that he can’t hear the conversation.

Of course, just as Gwaine asks “if Arthur’s this Once And Future King, the where’s this Emrys guy?” Merlin returns in time to hear it.

Merlin, glaring at Mordred: what?

Mordred, telepathically: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! 🥺

The group fills Merlin in on what he missed while Mordred continues to apologize endlessly. The knights then go back to asking Mordred about Emrys and he tries to navigate the questions without giving anything away while also dealing with a furious Merlin in his head telling him to “FIX THIS NOW!! And don’t you tell Arthur who I am!!” The poor boy!

Mordred continues to navigate the conversation mostly emphasizing how loyal Emrys is and how he and the Once And Future King are said to have a strong bond and there’s nothing to worry about when they start to question if Emrys is a threat. Eventually someone (probably Gwaine) brings up that Emrys doesn’t seem to be doing a very good job of protecting Arthur considering how other he’s encountered by magical thing. And Mordred, who knows how busy Merlin is and how hard he’s been working to protect Arthur (and that’s just since he’s become a knight! He knows there’s so much more he doesn’t know and is in even more awe of Emrys for handling it all) sees Merlin look over at Gwaine like he’s actually concerning strangling the man, says, “he’s very busy! And, he’s just one man! He’s really trying his best!!”

Mordred doesn’t realize what he said wrong and why everyone is quietly looking at him like that until Arthur asks, “You know him?”

Mordred, who just realized that he did kinda just admit to knowing a very powerful, immoral warlock to a king and his knights that are of a kingdom where magic is punishable by death: ……………uh

Arthur, realizing why Mordred looks so terrified: Mordred I understand you are a Druid and have grown up on stories of this man. I will not punish you for knowing him. I’m sure you’ve met many sorcerers.

Mordred, letting out a big breath of relief: thank you, sire. And yes, I have met him.

Arthur, nodding: I see. And he is in Camelot?

Mordred: yes, sire. He’s been working very hard to keep you and Camelot safe.

Arthur, looking at his other knights: I’ve never heard of anyone in the kingdom by that name, any of you?

Leon: he’s likely using a fake name.

Arthur: hmm. Yes that makes sense.

Mordred, wondering if he messed up again: uh, sire? Is something wrong?

Arthur, looking back at Mordred, and trying to reassure him: I wouldn’t really say something is wrong, per say, but the fact that there is an unknown and powerful sorcerer hiding in Camelot is something I need to be aware of. Since you’ve met him, do you know who he’s hiding out as?

Mordred, glancing subtly at Merlin who’s glaring at him threatening again, realizing he really f’ed up: ……

Arthur, realizing Mordred does know who Emrys is: who is he, Mordred?

Mordred: ……

Arthur, starting to lose his patience: Mordred. Who is he? Or does your loyalty lie with him first and me, your king, second?

Mordred, startled: No! That’s not it at all, sire! I’m very loyal to you! I swear it!

Arthur: then…

Mordred, sheepishly: well… in the prophecy you two are equals, so I’ve always weighed your words and orders as equal as well. And Emrys asked me not to reveal him, so…

Arthur: ……

The knights: ……

Merlin, telepathically: you’re not done yet, keep going. The prat’s not going to leave it at that.

Arthur, trying to figure out how to word it: Mordred… you do realize that that is…. worse, right?

Mordred: ????

Arthur: there is someone who one of my knights has valued their words as equal to my own who I have never met and know next to nothing about and who is a sorcerer. I have not appointed this man and if he were to contradict one of my orders… Do see how I really need to know who this man is?

Mordred: …but he’s loyal to you…🥺

Arthur, wondering if he’s actually going to have to turn this into an official interrogation: Mordred.

Tension rises again as Arthur keeps pushing and Merlin starts yelling in his head again and Mordred just Doesn’t Know What To Do. Please make this stop! Until he can’t take it anymore and just blurts out, “I’M EMRYS!!”

Silence.

Mordred can’t believe he just said that. Did he actually just claim to be THE Emrys? It feels sacrilegious. He peeks over at Merlin, but the man seems just as shocked as the rest of them at this development and raises an eyebrow in question.

Mordred, telepathically: …sorry? I didn’t know what to say…

Merlin, telepathically: ..no, im not mad at that. I am a bit curious about where you’ll go with this though…

Arthur: you’re Emrys?

Mordred, with Merlin’s permission to continue: yes. I’m Emrys.

Gwaine, whistles: damn mate, you’ve really been holding out on us!

Everyone looks at Mordred in a new light, trying to reconcile what they already knew about him with this new information.

Arthur: so you have magic then?

Mordred, nervously: yes.

More silence.

Gwaine, very interested and not at all wary: lots of it too being the most powerful and thought of as a deity.

Mordred, who is quite powerful, but not on Emrys’ level, obviously: yeah, I suppose.

After a bit more of an awkward and tense conversation of stilted sentences, and some debate about magic, Mordred and Merlin finally relax at the fact they’re both keeping their heads and the true identity of Emrys is secret. It was pretty much decided that Mordred had already sworn fealty to Arthur when he became a knight and even saved the king’s life in the Northern Plains, so he was most likely still trustworthy even though he was a sorcerer. Arthur and the knights are surprisingly okay with this turn of events; they’re still tense, but no one’s drawn their sword. Gwaine even asks Mordred to do some magic, and with Arthur’s very tense go ahead, Mordred levitates a water skin for a bit much to Gwaine’s delight. Gwaine keeps asking Mordred to do more magic as they head back to the castle like make things float and light some campfires.

I was thinking that it will mostly be about the antics from this point and how it would change things for the better. Like, now Merlin needs to enlist Mordred in his secret magical adventures and work together to keep Arthur and Camelot safe. The two would make such a funny dynamic. Merlin being all huffy and suspicious but begrudgingly including him while Mordred is so happy at being able to help his idol out, a dream come true for him.

The group ABSOLUTELY keeps Mordred’s magic and him being Emrys thing a secret at first, not sure when that’ll change but it definitely will. Gwaine probably spills about the prophecy and Arthur being the once and future king while he’s drunk in the tavern one night, but not about Mordred. The group eventually start warming up about magic and not being so wary of sorcerers since they’re now seeing Mordred using it to protect them so much. When the knights ask about what he’s done so far he tells them about Merlin’s achievements (with his permission, of course) and gets some more stories from him.

When the actual reveal comes it will be after word has already spread that Mordred is Emrys, so then Arthur and everyone will have to be like “no, that was a lie/misunderstanding, it’s actually Merlin” but people will still mistake Mordred for Emrys even years in the future. They’re never living this down.

Also there is DEFINITELY at least one scene where they go to a Druid camp and Arthur’s all like “yep, this is Mordred. Emrys” and the druids, telepathically, are like “boy, what are you doing? Mordred, you know you’re not Emrys.” And Mordred’s like “I have permission…” so the Druids subtly look at Merlin and he’s like “yeah, he’s got permission, just go with it” So, they do.

There’s also going to be scenes where Arthur is trying to get to know Mordred better because they apparently are supposed to have a super strong bond or whatever and yes, he and Mordred do have a bond, but he wouldn’t say it was any different than his bonds with his other knights and is all confused by it. And when he’s confiding in Merlin about it, he advises to not try and force it.

I know this is season 5 and Arthur and Gwen are married, BUT if you decide to go the merthur route, there can even be some prophecies about Emrys and the once and future king being soulmates and destined to be together or something. That would make Arthur even more confused/troubled because while Mordred is only a little over a decade younger than him (I headcanon that Arthur was 20-21 in 1st season and Mordred ~7-10) and age gaps that big weren’t unheard of, he just can’t look at Mordred that way. He’s too much like an innocent little puppy or something. Merlin is probably mortified because he can’t believe they have prophecies about his love life and why was he only finding out about this NOW?

Also, LANCELOT!!! Maybe there’s some way to actually bring him back from the dead. Or, there could be some scenes of him in Avalon watching this comedy unfold and talking and laughing about it with Will and Fraya and whoever else has died. And they’re all shaking their heads at the crazy situations Merlin gets himself into.

TL;DR: It’s basically crack about Merlin and Mordred working together to pass Mordred off as Emrys with a side of fix-it.

In the future I might decide to write this myself, but I’m in the middle of reading TGCF and want to finish that and a couple other things before I rewatch Merlin. It’s been a couple years since my last rewatch so things are a little fuzzy and I don’t want to completely mischaracterize someone. So, here, take it. Do with this what you want, but let me know if you write this or something, cause it would be supper fun to read.

[hyperfixiation-station]

Pirate AU

I am super unmotivated right now, so I am sorry for not writing anything, but I have a little brain worm thingy that I want to get out so I don't forget, and maybe when I am more motivated I can write it, if anyone is interested anyways

So, pirate au?

Price is the captain, and his crew is mostly gone after he lost a spat with the British Navy. Not only did he lose valuable members of his familycrew but he also lost the fastest ship he owned :(

Gaz and Ghost are the only remaining members.

Ghost lived his life on ships. He ran away at the age of 16 and was caught as stowaway and sold to a ship co. that delivered goods around the world. He worked his way up and was offered his own ship, but declined and went home to see if his family was any better. They were not. In fact, they were all dead. Price ran into him at a bar, and offered him a position with his crew once he watched Ghost come out on top in a 4v1 brawl. He is the quartermaster of Price's crew.

Gaz isn't entirely sure how he ended up in Prices crew. One day he was a normal citizen and the next moment he was a pirate ship. Okay, so maybe he was a sad, homeless orphan, and maybe he climbed aboard the ship to get to another island, and maybe Price charmed him with the promises of food and a bed, but that's not the point. And besides, t's not like he'll ever tell. Before joining the pirate crew, Gaz had gone to school, and excelled in maths, so Price made him his sailing master.

Soap was a member of the royal navy. He deserted after realizing that the whole power structure is corrupt, and that they were no better, worse even, then those they were hunting down. He turned tail during the fight with with Price's fleet, broke Gaz out of the brig they were holding him in, and joined the other side. Price hesitantly put him on as a deckhand, but quickly promoted him to gunner after seeing Soap shoot. After proving his loyalty to the cause, he was promoted to Master Gunner.

Roach was a street kid. He grew up fighting to survive, learning how to swindle and steal with the best of them. He joined a gang, starting out as a little pickpocket but quickly rose through the ranks, becoming of his boss's best thief's. He was stealing from Ghost but got caught. Ghost dragged(threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes) him back to the ship and handed him over to Price. Price liked Roaches moxy and took him on, first as a deckhand, and, once his affinity for high places was discovered, a navigator.

Laswell and her wife rule from pirate island as the Pirate Queens(POTC reference anyone?)

Anyways I'll probably write something once I stop being so depressed, this idea is open for anyone else to write/draw as well, as long as you give me credit :)

[milksuu]

semi-spoilers for my cleaninglady!reader x heartsteel fanfic ahead. subject to always change.

istg it's basically a Hangover movie script. One of my ideas im jotting down is literally them crashing a 50+ and over cruise vacation. And they use cleaninglady!reader's master of disguise to pretend they're her bodyguard's (and grandsons form like 6 other dads) I literally blame it on listening to "Pump It" by The Black Eyed Peas. Because things are getting wild:

Aphelios somehow has lobsters from the buffet aquatic tank hidden inside his jacket for no reason at all (but apparently, it's valid and turns out to be useful for a quick escape into some ceiling vents)

Sett has to fight off some buff old man with a triple black belt, since he's been accused of trying to steal his wife (Martha--who also has dementia and thinks Sett's her grandson. She also thinks Aphelios is his girlfriend/fiance. She also loves bingo.)

Ezreal accidentally swaps places with one of the show people, and ends up on stage as the John Lennon impersonator (those glasses are a hit). Granny's are throwing those panties for sure. I think one has a heart attack in the crowd (seriously grab the defibrillator)

Kayn somehow manages to wind up in a strange cruise suite with a bunch of elderly people doing questionable things, in some questionable attire, doing some questionable drugs. He gets a pack of gum out of it. Cool for him, I guess (?)

Yone is carrying around a very special black briefcase. And a group of undisclosed men in black suits are trying to get their hands on (?) But he swears it's just cleaninglady!reader's very expensive dentures.

And K'Sante is at the casino making bank. Only for the casino staff to accuse him of possibly cheating, and inevitably, chaos ensues in a wild goose chase. And let me tell you, scooters are zooming, walkers are flying, and canes are swinging.

Oh. Did I mention at some point they literally jump off the cruise in the middle of the ocean ? (cleaninglady!reader is obviously screaming for dear life) So yeah, that's happening.

[blkkizzat]

ꨄ︎『Sneaky Links』ꨄ︎ (PART 1)

Sukuna x Reader (Mentions of Yuji x Reader)

18+ Minors - DNI

PART 1 of 2

Summary: Y/N is a dickmatized manipulative brat. Sukuna is Sukuna. Poor sweet Yuji is collateral damage. CW: cheating, rough play, unprotected sex, spit play, brat taming, spanking, pussy slapping, manipulation, fingering, anal play, edging, tit job, blow job, slight dubcon, sukuna being toxic, y/n thinking with her pussy not her brain (but it’s hard not to when you got that wet wet). WK: 3.1k of 8.5k Slightly Black female coded but no descriptors.

A/N: All I do is eat hot chip and bump Spotify so nearly everything I write has song(s) that goes with it.

Sukuna POV: I Mean It - G-Eazy (this mv is so unsrs but I'm criiiine imagining Sukuna as G-Eazy in this video lmfao) Reader POV: You Right - Doja Cat (not like Sukuna couldn't be The Weeknd POV here but he's so much more of an asshole than that)

Enjoy!

‘2:37 AM’. Fuck.

You had to stop looking at the clock, it was only making you more restless. Usually sleep came to you easily as the peaceful dark of your room and light snores coming from your boyfriend Yuji would lull you into a comforting slumber each night.

You sighed.

Your head lay on Yuji’s chest and his arm was loosely draped around your waist. This has become your typical sleeping position since moving in with each other. You have only been living together for over a little over a month now. But living with Yuji was great, even if your apartment was smaller than you would have liked. 

Despite the both of you being full fledged sorcerers and risking your lives constantly, exorcizing curses didn’t pay the best salary. You wanted something bigger but it was cheap enough to allow the both of you to save for something much better down the line. 

It was Yuji who had mentioned that fact to you, to both console your protests and to hint at more promises for the future. That had been enough to make you giddy and you would have agreed to live in a closet if it meant you could be together.

Sure, Yuji could be a little clueless at times but he always tried his best to make you happy. The two of you rarely had any disagreements even when you were being a stubborn brat. His easy going nature took your faults in stride, meeting your needs without complaint. 

Yuji was always doing sweet things for you like waking up a bit earlier so you could drink your coffee (that he always burnt) in bed. He would shower you with soft kisses to coax you awake with a wide grin and a whispered ‘good morning’ that made you feel warm just remembering it.

You really couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

You were happy with Yuji.

You love him and are very happy with Yuji. 

Sigh.

So then why exactly is your mind torturing you with thoughts of the cursed object inside your boyfriend taking control of his body and fucking you dumb into the mattress?  

You caught yourself unconsciously chewing your lip in nervous anticipation. 

Your mind couldn’t allow you to sleep because it was filled with Sukuna, The King of Curses and every jujutsu sorcerer’s sworn enemy. 

Your enemy.

How could you let it come to this? 

You felt guilty but it’s not like you had asked for this to start happening. That said, you made no real attempts to stop Sukuna thus far from showing up to fuck you before disappearing again like a thief in the night. 

Rode hard and put away wet, he used you on his whims and it had been happening more frequently ever since the first week after you and Yuji moved-in together. 

The fateful night it started was the night of your housewarming party, ironically enough.

You honestly didn't even want a damned housewarming, you recalled looking back. You thought it was impractical and a bit embarrassing to throw a housewarming for such a small flat. 

Everyone would be on top of each other the entire night. 

But Gojo had insisted, promising to supply the drinks and food which automatically had Yuji on board, so you just gave in. Anything to get Gojo out of your hair and seeing Yuji so excited made you smile.

The housewarming itself went well until the six eyed sorcerer had suggested a ‘friendly’ drinking game. All which would have been fine if Gojo hadn’t brought over what he called Reggae Punch.

However, it wasn’t the standard recipe of peach liqueur and oolong tea you could find in any Tokyo bar. The dark orange drink Gojo concocted was a heavy mixture of actual punch and different liquors that you couldn’t identify until you were already 2 cups in.

The son of a bitch. He had literally tricked y’all into drinking Jungle Juice.

You were already faded as hell by the time the game started so you eliminated yourself early on purpose. 

Yuji, who was a good boy and never even took a sip of alcohol until he was legal earlier this year, actually thought he stood a chance at winning against his seniors. He foolishly joined-in with earnestness.

Rolling your eyes at the memory, the night ended as expected. Yuji was beyond shitfaced. 

His head hung heavy and was barely still on the low chabudai table by the time Nanami (the winner) had dragged a drunken Gojo out of your apartment, who was still singing songs from the pricey digital karaoke machine he had gifted the both of you earlier in the night. 

Maki and Yuta, sensible enough to stop drinking early like you, had already left.

Meaning Nobara, Inumaki and Megumi, all pretty lit themselves, had the near impossible task of dragging Panda home which you did not envy. 

With everyone gone, getting Yuji into bed proved a far easier feat than expected. 

You had left him some ibuprofen and pedialyte on the nightstand and a small bin next to the bed just in case he woke up and felt sick. You really didn’t mind taking care of your boyfriend who always took such good care of you. 

You just wished it didn’t have to be this night. This night when you realized for the first time that mixing that much alcohol in large quantities just went straight to your pussy.  

Pleasing yourself usually wasn’t an issue but after you pulled the second yet still unsatisfying orgasm from yourself is when Sukuna had made his appearance chuckling at your failed attempts. 

Admittedly, you were terrified at first.

You had been dating Yuji for two years but Sukuna didn’t often show himself and he had never even addressed you directly before. It was dangerously easy to forget the most powerful evil sorcerer in existence was residing rent free inside your bf’s soul. 

Nevertheless, you were hard up for a real release at that moment. A cloud of lust fogged your brain and it didn’t take much goading at all for your legs to spread like a warm jelly for The Curse King.

And he did not disappoint. 

Sukuna’s sharp tongue flooded your ears with degrading praises sending electricity through your body that settled in your core where the even sharper strokes of his hips corrupted you from the inside out. 

All your senses utterly stupefied, you came hard. You made a mess on him, yourself and your sheets.

And that was only round one.

Sukuna had near limitless stamina. 

The next morning, achy and sore, you could barely look Yuji in the eye. You were preparing to beg for his forgiveness but you quickly realized he barely remembered the party, let alone what happened after. 

In fact, it made you feel even more guilty that Yuji apologized to you. He was mad at himself for being so rough with you when he noticed the bites, bruises and marks that decorated your body thinking you both actually had sex the previous night. 

You were the worst. 

You really were the worst as truthfully, if you told him in that moment, he likely would have forgiven you then without question. 

It’s not like you alone could stop Sukuna from doing anything he wanted to you while Yuji was unaware. You were a semi-grade 1 sorcerer, strong enough for most curses, but you would be kidding yourself to think you could take on Sukuna in a fight. 

In fact wouldn’t the issue of Sukuna being able to take over Yuji’s body freely while he was unconscious be a much more pressing concern rather than how many times the curse king had made you squirt? 

Yet in spite of the danger, the logic and your better judgment, you were too ashamed to tell Yuji what really happened. 

That was because subconsciously a part of you knew it could happen again.

And it did. 

Many times.

Except for tonight. 

Sukuna had yet to make his appearance tonight. 

In fact, he hadn’t shown up in the last 5 nights in a row. The longest you had gone without his dick since he started toying with you. 

You recalled you had snapped at him after his last visit when his insults had started swaying from you to Yuji and his inability to please you. You told him never to visit you again and threatened to tell Yuji if he did. 

Honestly you didn’t expect your threats to do much. They hadn’t previously. 

As much as you wanted to be relieved that maybe Sukuna had finally grown sick of dealing with ‘Yuji’s bratty pillow princess’, a name he often called you while digging deep in your guts, you weren’t relieved at all. 

If anything it annoyed you. 

He hadn’t listened when you told him to leave you alone the first, second or third time so why now?

Why now after your cunt has started craving the burn of being stretched out by Sukuna? 

You shiver, thinking of his heavy grip on the fat of your hips. His claws would be so dangerously close to breaking your delicate skin. 

He constantly reminded you how easily he could rip you apart if he wanted to while he relentlessly clapped your cheeks from behind. 

Near salivating, you snapped your head up a little too eagerly for your own liking when you felt Yuji stir beneath you thinking it was Sukuna and more than a little disappointed when it wasn’t.  

You knew Yuji’s tender caresses should have made you melt, and it still did in a way. You were still in love with him. 

But it wasn’t until Sukuna tainted you did you realize you didn’t want to be treated like a delicate princess. 

You wanted to be manhandled. 

You wanted to be made a mess of. 

You wanted to be called names like the filthy cheating whore you were currently proving yourself to be. But Yuji was too tenderhearted to ever fuck you like you needed.

Squeezing your eyes shut as if you could block out all thoughts, you knew the reason you couldn't get to sleep was because you were horny for Sukuna. 

The higher the heat in your belly rises the more sleep becomes impossible. Your clit burned in response to the heat in your belly which made your pussy flutter as it desperately clenched around nothing and pushed some of Yuji’s cum from earlier in the night out onto your thighs.

In that moment, all your resolve was lost.

Yuji was simply the appetizer and you were a famished woman. Still left starving for the main course.

Sukuna. 

You swallow, unsure of yourself as you attempt to steel your resolve. You had already resigned yourself to the hell Sukuna put you in.

You turn your head deeper into Yuji’s chest and whisper softly against his pectorals, fingers lightly tracing his lower abs under the blankets.

“Yo…um.. Hey…Hey Sukuna… c-can you hear me?” 

Silence. 

You tried again. Nothing.

You huff, your patience waning. 

“Damnit, Sukuna!” you whisper harshly, your voice rising slightly with irritation. 

You waited more. 

The only reply you received was the rise and fall of Yuji’s chest. 

You were seeing red. 

This lame ass motherfucker. 

Was that it? Was he really done with you now after all this? 

Slowly rising off of Yuji’s chest you glare down at your boyfriend as if you could somehow scowl past his body and into his soul at Sukuna.

You quietly mutter to yourself about ‘the headass lord king of body snatching curses who gots more dick in his personality than pants’ while you shuffle over to the night stand on the side of the bed. 

You turn on the small light and dig deep into the drawers to pull out a toy you saved for nights you were particularly hard up and Yuji was out on a mission. 

Sukuna may have been ignoring you but you could no longer ignore the throbbing screaming at you between your legs. 

Maybe if you rubbed one out you could calm yourself down enough just enough to cease your anger at least. 

You needed to make an attempt to relieve yourself before you really lost your mind and did something insane like knocking the mario coins out of your sweet unsuspecting boyfriend in frustration at the curse inside of him. 

He didn’t deserve that. 

Not like he deserved any of this, the curse inside of him nor a girlfriend like you who would spread her legs so easily for a cocky smirk and a big dick.

You closed your eyes and pushed that thought aside for now. You were sweating and near shaking in need of release. 

Making yourself comfortable on the bed, you turn your vibrator on its lowest setting, so as not to disturb Yuji. 

Dragging it across your skin, you snake a path for it down past your breasts, across your belly and lower still relishing the sensations across your body. 

Licking your lips you barely ghosted your vibrator across your clit before a hand grabbed your wrist and another flung your toy across the room instantly smashing it into pieces.

“You really are a bratty fucking whore, you know that?”

The voice you immediately recognized as belonging to Sukuna. 

And how could it not be? 

It was more sultry than Yuji’s. The deep bass in his voice both teased and admonished you causing your aching clit pulsate to the rhythm of every syllable.

“As your King, I don’t recall giving you permission to touch that nasty little cunt, bitch.” 

You whined in protest and attempted to pull away but it was futile in Sukuna's grip. You could feel the fire from his touch on your wrist alone beginning to spread and torch your entire body. 

Exceeding the levels of any sexual frustration you ever knew in your life, his further denial to let you touch yourself threatened to spill the tears gathering in the corner of your eyes. 

“I don’t recall asking you, my lord,” you spat his words back at him without thinking, “I’d ask you if you knew you were a trifling asshole but we-”

And in an instant he was on top of you.

His tattooed hands now hold both of your wrists, placing them up over your head effectively caging you in and shutting you up before you could even finish your sentence. 

Your eyes widen in response to the hot snarl of his breath and the red of his glowing eyes burrowing into you. 

The reality of who exactly you just decided to sass sunk in.

Sukuna on the other hand revels in your dismay.

“‘Eh? Triflin’” he said, mocking your tone and slang. “Me? Not the filthy slut who is begging me to use her boyfriend’s body to dick her down while he is sleeping? Then you have the fucking nerve to throw temper tantrums when I don’t.”

Fuck, he had heard your insults from earlier after all.

“You think a bratty bitch like you can summon me on your whims and so address me so casually at that? I’ve killed many for far less.”

He was close now, too close. 

However, although hovering over you Sukuna still wasn’t touching you with the exception of the bruising grip on your wrists. 

Despite the lack of contact your body still responded to the suffocating amount of heat and cursed energy radiating off his own. The intense primal instincts of your fear and arousal brewing together in your body was creating a toxic reaction, one which threatened to tear you apart if Sukuna didn’t first. 

Your lip was quivering and your body was squirming beneath him. 

You are completely at his mercy once again.

“And Yuji?” Sukuna continued mockingly. 

His face dipped closer to yours and you let out the shaky breath you weren’t even aware you were holding.

“You’re so needy after he already gave you this dick tonight too? Tsk tsk, you really are a brazen n’ greedy whore.” 

He was wrong. 

Not about you being a whore, of course.  You couldn’t deny that fact even if you wanted to at the moment. 

But he was wrong by implying it was the same as if you were with Yuji.

When Sukuna took over, except for facial similarities, he was all but a different person. 

Sukuna was taller, more muscular and thicker in all areas, his cock not being excluded from that. The tattoos that decorated his body and bound his dangerous muscles caused him to look more intimidating than Yuji ever could. 

Even his scent was different. It was almost as threatening as his presence and was intoxicatingly masculine, more alpha.  

You knew fighting him further was a losing battle. But you were still mad at him for ignoring you.

Nevertheless, he was here in front of you now. 

You were so close to getting what you wanted. If you had to give up more of your dignity at this point then so be it, you didn’t have much left to covet anyway. 

Completely surrendering yourself to him like the little bitch in heat that you were, you appeal to his ego in hopes he would fuck you.

“If you know I’m a whore then just fuck me like one already Sukuna. My King… please? Pretty please? I-I need you. Make me cum please.”, your saccharine tone contrasted with your depraved pleas coming out like a twisted prayer. 

You humbled yourself and hated it. It broke the tears of frustration that had built in your eyes. 

Moisture spilled down the sides of your face, yet you blinked through them in order to maintain eye contact with him. 

The desperation that called to him from every fiber of your being was apparent to Sukuna, his smirk widening at your distress. 

Releasing your hands in favor of your neck, a hand enclosed it applying pressure as he licked a tear trail down the side of your face.

“Tch, Even when desperate and begging you still can’t help but to be an insolent brat”, he whispered, blowing warm air into you that made you tingle.

That’s when you felt his tongue salaciously lick into your ear before pulling back to bite and suck at your lobe and neck, leaving more marks for you to try to cover in the morning.

The full weight of Sukuna’s naked body was now pressed upon yours. You whimpered as he had finally granted you the contact you craved for.  

You could feel his heavy cock begin to twitch on your belly. You panted as you arched up into him, rubbing against his form creating beautiful friction between you both sending you into euphoria. 

But as quickly as the contact was given, it was taken away.

“You should know by now, Y/N.... Disobedient brats need to be punished.”

Part 2

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but it got a little out of control with writing the lewd scenes. Part 2 is almost done and is FILTHY omg. I will try to post by tomorrow night or Saturday. (updated as of 9/12).

Lol also for anyone who doesn't know Reggae Punch is actually a popular drink in Japan. I did not make that up. It really doesn't have much alcohol content in it at all. But I LOL'd at Gojo tricking them into drinking Jungle Juice cause its literally night and day.

Also imo, Nanami and his salaryman vibe you know would win a drinking contest out of any JJK man so thats canon to me (excluding Toji as according to official fanbook alcohol has zero effect on him so he doesn't even drink it).

Any mistakes please DM, no rude or criticizing comments please.

P.S. I promise I don't hate Yuji.

Reblogs, likes, comments appreciated!!

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

[heartsforhavik]

hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?

heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.

summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)

a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!

“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.

“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.

“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.

“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.

a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.

-

the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.

“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.

when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.

literally. his heart was in the box.

you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.

“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”

“NOT LITERALLY.”

(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)

(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.

“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.

“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.

you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.

“whose clothes are these?” you asked.

“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.

“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.

“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.

“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.

you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.

you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.

(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)

[teecupangel]

Haven’t seen someone suggest this yet. Velociraptor!Desmond. Ancient or modern, either works. Or he’s immortal. But I can just imagine the chaos that a velociraptor in the AC universe would bring. And make it Desmond, even more so.

Then there’s also the idea of whichever Assassins were around in 1924 (when velociraptors were officially categorized) being super confused about why ancient art in Masyaf and works by Leonardo DaVinci seem to depict this dinosaur that was just discovered. Insert 1920’s version of Shaun setting up a conspiracy board.

I had to make this meme…

The funny thing is… raptors are the size of a turkey so I’m just imagining Ratonhnhaké:ton returning to the homestead one day to find the Assassin turkey has made a friend.

Because of his actual size, he can be quite stealthy, making him a good Assassin companion. He also has a big appetite for meat and Leonardo found it fascinating to read an entire page dedicated to the ‘care’ of the creature Altaïr called ‘Desmond’.

Calling it ‘care’ is misleading because it was filled with observations and some complaints of Desmond’s habits, including how he liked to sleep on newly dried laundry.

Leonardo believes Ezio’s Desmond is a ‘descendant’ of Altaïr’s Desmond and paints him. He also wonders how they reproduce considering they are no records of Altaïr’s Desmond having any mate.

And that’s how Leonardo theorizes that Desmonds reproduces all by itself.

That’s right.

‘Desmond’ isn’t Desmond’s name.

‘Desmond’ is the name of the type of creature Desmond is.

Desmond turning into a raptor meant that velociraptors in AC world are now called…

“Desmonds”

No one is more embarrassed by this than Desmond.

But it’s not like he can tell anyone about it.

He was immortal but any time he tried to write by drawing on the ground, it’s just pure gibberish.

But hey…

He is now the ‘model’ of Leonardo’s greatest work titled “Desmond”.

The fact that the art world are actually still debating if Mona Lisa or Desmond is the far superior Da Vinci work only serves to make him all the more embarrassed.

Shaun isn’t helping at all because he keeps researching about Desmonds, all in the hopes of finding another Desmond for… Desmond.

Desmond’s head hurts from all the other Desmonds he had to hear every day.

Immortality truly has its downside.

[froizetta]

WIP Wednesday: more superbatlantern because why not

I went slightly insane and wrote over 15k for this, so here's another excerpt lol. This one's more or less the direct continuation of this scene I already posted, so this'll probably make more sense if you read that first. But it's pretty much just Hal spying on superbat while using the ring to turn himself invisible in the hopes of catching them making out, which is a totally fine and normal thing to do to your colleagues. Nice one, Hal!

He drifted cautiously closer. The light from the sun glinted off the windows harshly at this angle, turning them opaque, but just a little further and…

There, that was it. Fuck yeah, the blinds weren’t even drawn so he had a clear view: that was definitely them alright, alone in the room, sitting really fucking close for two “platonic” best friends. Supes didn't seem to have noticed him yet, so clearly Hal had been right about him being too distracted to listen out for eavesdroppers. He was really on a roll today, huh? Ha, Hal was totally winning this bet—

Oh.

Oh, shit. That was…that was not what he’d expected to see.

Hal had definitely been right this whole time: they were fucking on the reg. But there was nothing sexual about what they were doing now. They’d pulled a couple of the meeting room chairs together. Bats was sitting on the right, more relaxed than Hal had ever seen him, cowl off, in a comfortable slouch rather than his usual ramrod-straight posture, eyes flickering lazily over a datapad. Supes was on his left, curled around him as best he could with two armrests in the way, an arm flung around Bats’ waist and his head pressed to his chest, eyes closed. Listening to his heartbeat it looked like, even though he could probably hear that shit from across a city.

It couldn’t have been all that comfortable, sitting like that, but on them it looked…easy. Familiar. Domestic. Like they’d done this, or something like it, a thousand times. Hal watched Supes’ lips move, murmuring something too quiet for Hal to hear. Whatever it was, it was apparently the joke of the century, because Bats let out an honest to god chuckle then moved his free hand up to Superman’s hair to rub gentle circles into his scalp. Big Blue practically melted against him, more overgrown puppy than godlike superpowered alien, and Bats finally looked up from his screen, and—man, even though Hal was hardly an expert on the series of mildly constipated expressions Bats normally used to emote, even he could tell that look on his face was—

Hal’s heart sank. Crap. They weren’t just fucking. They were in love.

Hovering outside the window watching a clearly happy couple act romantic with each other, Hal suddenly felt like absolute shit. It almost felt unfair, even. Batman was a crazy asshole, sure, but he was also crazy rich, crazy smart, crazy gorgeous, and mostly had his shit together. Meanwhile Superman was…well, pretty much perfect in every way, honestly. A real stand-up guy, on top of being the kind of walking wet dream you could actually take home to your parents. And on top of all that they already had going for them on their own, they also had each other?

When was the last time someone had looked at Hal like that? It was probably Carol, wasn’t it, before the last time they’d broken up. That was— Shit, that was years ago now.

This was no fucking fun at all.

With a sudden, all-encompassing intensity, Hal really, really didn’t want to be seeing this anymore. They hadn’t noticed him yet. Maybe he could just…drift away, get blackout drunk and pretend he never saw that? Yeah. Yeah, that sounded like a great plan.

Unfortunately for him, whatever that feeling was apparently audible to Kryptonians. Because just then, Superman’s head snapped up. And then he was staring right at Hal.

Shit.

“Hey, so. My bad, big guy,” Hal whispered. “Uh. Fuck. I’ll just—”

“Hal.”

“Jesus fuck!”

The voice came from directly behind him. When he whirled around, heart slamming into his ribcage—yup, that was Supes alright. Arms folded forbiddingly across his broad chest, looking stern and disappointed and faintly furious.

Hal dropped the invisibility; there didn’t seem much point to it now. “Man, did you have to sneak up on me like that? You nearly gave me a damn heart attack.”

Superman looked unmoved. “Bruce and I would like a word with you inside. Now.”

He sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Fine. Let’s go.” There went his plans of quietly moving on with his life. But hey, he could admit he’d sort of made his bed in this case. He could man up and lie in it.

And besides, depending on how this went down, he could probably still do the whole drink-to-forget thing later.