#anyway stream have you heard of christmas!

[hbogirls]

the matt rogers christmas album is so good and funny and everyone should have it on repeat btw

[natalievoncatte]

Kara stared between her feet, as if the hardwood floor between her socks had answers. She was wearing mismatched SpongeBob and Hello Kitty socks. The Hello Kitty ones were Christmas gifts from Lena. Lena had admitted she didn’t know anything about Hello Kitty except that the design was cute, and Kara liked cute things. Kara treasured those socks as though they were a kingly gift.

There was a cold beer in her hand. She turned the bottle this way and that, wondering what the point was. She didn’t like the taste. Alcohol wasn’t strong enough to dull her emotions or make her laugh or cry the way it did for her humans. It just tasted mostly pretty bad. She took a drink anyway, doing what she always did: trying too hard to be something she’d never be.

Alex had offered the beer and Kara had accepted, taking one from the six pack she’d brought over. Alex was on her second, sitting back in her chair and nursing her beer.

“Kara,” she said.

Kara gave her head a listless shake.

“I’m just not in the mood to cheer up.”

Alex took a pull of her beer. “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Our friendship meant something,” said Kara, the last word coming out strained, pushed past its breaking point but holding on.

“To you,” Alex said. “It meant another thing to her.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what she said.”

“There’s nothing she could say that would justify abusing you like that.”

Kara looked at her. Alex was clearly on a mission here- to get Kara’s head turned around right, to help her see the truth, and to help her process it and move on.

The bottle in her hand shattered.

“Jesus!” Alex yelped.

Kara didn’t want to process it. She didn’t want to see Alex’s truth. She didn’t want to fucking move on. She moved on too much. Her world died and she moved on. Her foster father died and she moved on. Her aunt tried to kill her and she moved on. Her boyfriend turned out to be a galactic conquered and she moved on. She got her back broken and her skull fractured and she moved on. She was beaten to death by a literal clone of herself and came to back to life, and she moved. On.

She didn’t want to move on from Lena. She wanted her back. She wanted to be like it was.

She wanted…

She wanted things she couldn’t say, because she couldn’t want them.

“She said she killed her brother for me,” Kara choked out.

Alex frowned, eyes flicking between Kara’s face and the suds on the floor.

“You’ve got to see she’s bad news.”

Kara shook her head and stood up, moving to grab a towel and clean up the mess. She plucked the shards of glass from the floor and soaked up the suds. Alex didn’t offer another brew or take one. She just held the empty bottle in her hand.

“Kara,” she finally said. “You need to come to terms with this. I don’t think you’re being healthy about how you feel about-“

“Lena,” Kara gasped.

“Yeah, I mean, the way you two have been behaving is more like a-“

Kara tuned her out. Lena was approaching, and her heart was racing. Kara heard the distinct sound of her footsteps as she ran up the stairs and down the hall to the loft and had the door open as Lena stumbled to a stop in front of it, wide-eyed and panicked.

“Luthor!” Alex snapped. “You’ve got some balls showing your face here. Give me one good reason not to arrest you. Now.”

“Alex,” Kara warned.

Lena was looking at her with a shocking blend of fear and relief, tears streaming freely down her cheeks.

“Oh God,” said Lena. “Oh thank God you’re alive.”

Alex started to speak but Kara put up a warning hand. She didn’t move, standing fixed in the doorway as Lena stood there shaking, wrapped up in her coat like a drowned rat.

“Let me in, please let me in.”

“Kara,” Alex warned.

“Take this!” Lena blurted.

A jolt of shock ran through Kara as Lena produced the Myriad module and thrust it at her in both hands, almost dropping it in the process. Kara had taken it before she realized what she was doing.

“Take it, take it, take the fucking thing! I don’t want it anymore.”

Kara hit her lip. Lena’s eyes were full of silent appeal, heavy with… knowledge, or something like it.

“Why are you doing this?”

“You won’t believe me,” Lena said, her voice trembling.

Kara flinched. Lena’s heart was racing painfully, dangerously fast, and she was staring to hyperventilate. Instinct took over, and she pulled the other woman inside, gently tucking her into a firm hug.

“Kara!” Alex snapped.

“Alex,” Kara said, firmly. “Out. Now.”

“But you can’t just let her back in!”

“Trust me, Alex.”

“Fine, but I’m not going far, and if I even think I smell a trap, Luthor, I swear, I will bring the wrath of God down on your head. I will destroy you.”

Lena said nothing, turning her face into Kara’s shoulder. Alex glared fury at her as she passed, and Kara pushed the door shut.

“Lena, tell me what happened.”

It took Lena at least a minute to get her breathing under enough control to even talk.

“I was in my lab when this man appeared inside. That should be impossible. My lab is a fortress. Not even you could get in.”

“Wait? What man?”

“He looked like a funny little man with a bowler hat, but he’s not. It’s some kind of illusion or trick. He told me some incomprehensible name and told me he was there on your behalf. His name was just gibberish, Mix-something.”

She was finally calming. Kara guided her to the couch and set Myriad on the table, sitting beside her. Lena stared at it.

“I know his name,” Kara said, coldly.

“Did you send him?”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“He told me he was there to give me what I wanted, a life without you. Before I could say anything he just snapped his fingers, and I was on the helicopter, the day you saved me from Lex’s drones, but you weren’t there. I screamed for help but you didn’t come.”

Kara felt the sour taste of beer and vomit rising to the back of her throat.

“I remember the crash and it was real, it was like it was really happening and it hurt so much, and then I woke up and Lillian was there with her doctors and she was cutting. Cutting me up and carving me apart with scalpels and putting machinery in me and Kryptonite, she put Kryptonite in my chest!”

“Easy,” Kara said, “Easy, Lena. Take a breath.”

Red-faced and breathing too quickly, Lena ignored her. “Then you were there and I couldn’t stop myself, it was burning you alive, like in the Fortress but worse and I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t even scream, and I felt this hate inside me, and I just wanted it to stop. Then I was back in my lab and he was there.”

“So you came here?”

“No! I told him that wasn’t what I wanted. I told him I wanted a world without lies, without conflict or hate or deception. I told him what I wanted to do. I don’t know why, it was like he was forcing the words out of me, and he told me fine, he’d give me what I wanted.”

Lena hugged herself, sinking back into the couch.

“It was real, Kara. It all happened. I mean, it actually happened. I finished Non Nocere. I pacified the entire world, made everyone calm and peaceful and truthful. I lived this. For years.”

Kara swallowed. Mxy… could do that. He was that powerful. Kara has suspected as much. He’d been toying with her before, like a cat tormenting a mouse. Her blood ran cold and she suppressed a shiver.

“Oh my God. You’re scared of this thing, aren’t you?”

“Lena…”

“You should be. It got worse. It got worse, Kara. Non Nocere worked. The world became a place of peace. You came to me and you were furious, but I asked you, was it better the other way? Were you angry because of what I did or were you angry because I made a world that doesn’t need superheroes?”

Kara swallowed. “Lena, it wouldn’t be right to control everyone like that. You can’t just-“

“I know! I learned my goddamn lesson already, will you just listen to me?”

Kara took a deep breath.

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“You were the only one not affected. You stayed for a while, tried to reason with me, but then you left. You went back to Argo and rejoined the Kryptonian survivors.”

Lena went quiet, staring at nothing.

“Lena? Lena, what is it?”

“I gave him the world on a silver platter. I just handed it over and I didn’t even realize it. I wasn’t fixing the world, I was ringing a dinner bell. He came.”

“Mxy?”

“No, Kara. Something worse. From the stars. He came in a ship… his ship was as big as the sky. They came from cracks in the air, these… these portals started belching out these things, demons, I don’t know, and he came from the sky.”

“Who, Lena?”

Silence. Lena pulled her knees up and rocked in place, staring.

“Lee?”

“Darkseid,” said Lena. “He called himself Darkseid. He took Non Nocere from me. He used it. On everyone. On me, too. He made us worship… he made us love. He took something from my mind, from everyone’s mind, some kind of weapon, and you came back. You came back to stop him.”

“Of course I would,” said Kara.

“He made me watch. He said it was a gift for delivering him his prize. I saw you die.”

Kara’s stomach dropped. Tentatively, she reached for Lena’s shoulder, found it and grasped it softly. Lena hid her face in her arms and began to whimper.

“The things I saw. The things we were made to do. The things I was made to do. I can’t. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“It wasn’t real. You’re safe. I promise.”

“It was real. Then that Mixylwhatever came back and asked me if I wanted out. I almost said no, Kara! I almost said no!”

Kara closed her fists, arms wrapped around her self.

Great Rao, what happened to her?

I said yes and I was just… back in my lab. Like none of it happened. There with that thing in my hands. I did the only thing I could think of. I ran here.”

Lena is was still shaking.

Hushing her softly, Kara guided her to lie down on the couch, throwing a blanket over her. Lena shoved her face in the pillow and sobbed as Kara knelt beside her, trying to soothe her by stroking her back and sweeping the hair from her eyes.

“It wasn’t real.”

“It felt real.”

“I won’t let it happen.”

“You couldn’t stop it. Not even you, not even you and Clark.”

Kara leaned closer and looked her in the eye.

“I won’t. Let. It. Happen.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Lena closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. Finally she seemed to calm, at least a little.

“Listen to me, Lena. Please.”

She nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Kara,”

“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have respected you. I should have let myself be vulnerable and let you in the way you did for me. I only thought about what I wanted and I let my fear control me. I will never do that again. I will never run off to Argo or wherever else as long as you need me. I will always protect you, Lena. Always.”

“I know, Kara. I saw it in your eyes when you… when he… your last word was my name.”

“Rest, Lee. I’m going to destroy Myriad. I’m going to get Alex and and Brainy and Nia ans J’onn and we’re going to figure this out.”

“Okay,” Lena choked out. “Okay.”

Kara knelt beside her until she finally fell asleep, then paced the loft for a while.

She turned to look at Lena as she slept and then it hit her. It was like suddenly becoming aware of a new color, a hue that shaded the whole world but had been previously invisible. It was just suddenly there, and she understood.

Kara was in love with her.

She would forgive Lena any trespass, and she would do anything to protect her.

She called Alex. Told her what happened, leaving out nothing Lena said. They decided, after their earlier interaction, that it would be best if J’onn watched over her.

When he arrived, Kara went to the roof.

“Mxyzptlk,” said Kara.

In a blink he was there.

“Well then,” he said. “You’re welcome. Killed two birds with one stone, showing your Lena the error of her ways and-“

Kara didn’t let him finish. When she slammed him into the brickwork, cracks spread from the impact and her eyes blazed with all the fury of her long lost sun.

“Leave her alone. If you ever go near her again, I’ll break every bone in your body. I don’t care what I have to do. I don’t care what I have to sacrifice. If I’m not powerful enough now I will find a way.”

“You can’t do that.”

“When it comes to my Lena, I have no rules. Now get the fuck off my planet.”

She let him go and took a step back. He regarded her for a moment, looking rather pale for a fifth dimensional imp, and then vanished without another word.

Kara went back to Lena.

[obsessedwithceleste]

You’re Not Everyone Else

Lorenzo Berkshire x reader

Based on this request🫶🏽

Summary: Enz thought he knew everything there was to know when it came to wooing pretty witches, but it will take a lot more than the botanical gardens to win you over.

word count: 4.4k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

You glare menacingly at the offending bundle of flowers propped up perfectly against your pillow, practically glowing as the sunlight streams onto them through the window. As if it were a sign that the flowers were bloody heaven sent.

Daphne’s mouth is practically on the floor as she watches you dump the fresh bouquet of expensive looking tulips directly into the trash can.

The flowers had been waiting for you on your bed when you came back from class, and you didn’t need to read the note attached to guess who they were from.

You can tell that she wants to protest, but you cut her off before she’s able to even get a word in.

“Don’t. You know how I feel about Berkshire. It’s not going to happen.” You sigh, rolling your eyes at the mere thought of Lorenzo Berkshire actually managing to weasel his way into your heart.

That boy was no good. He had a pretty face and the charisma to go along with it. He was nothing but a womanizer and you had heard all the stories to prove it. In fact, there was probably an alphabetized list of all the girls that had fallen victim to Lorenzo Berkshire floating around somewhere. He practically had his pick of the litter when it came to the Hogwarts dating pool, and yet for some reason he had landed his sights on you.

You could remember the first time Daphne had brought you to the Parkinson estate, introducing you to all of her friends. He had been their. Young, but charming as ever. He had been kind then. And sweet. But that was just to lure you in. By Christmas that same year you had heard all about his escapades and wanted nothing to do with it.

Daphne, to her credit, had tried to dissuade you, vouching for her friend, but you could never quite see past the swirling whispers that seemed to damper the boy's shine. He was her friend. Fine. He had been her friend first after all, but that was all he'd ever be. A friend of a friend.

But it had been years at this point, of flowers being left in your dorm room, chocolates, even soppy love poems declaring his affection for you, but you were having none of it. And it seemed the more you pushed the boy away, the more determined he was to make you his.

“It’s so romantic though,” Daphne protests, looking like she’s debating fishing the flowers out of the trash can. It was the third bouquet this week. And it was only Tuesday.

“Pft. Manipulative is more like it. He only wants one thing Daph, and you know it,” you reply, collapsing onto your bed with an annoyed huff.

Your friend is silent for a moment, mulling over her words.

"You liked him at one point. You told me so," she says finally.

"Sure, when I was thirteen. He's only after me now cause he likes the chase. He'll get bored," you reply, rolling your eyes slightly and brushing off the girl's comment.

Your roommate lets out a sigh, wringing her hands as she takes a seat on her own bed across the room.

“Oh I don’t think Enz would do that to you. I’ve known him since we were kids. He seems so serious about this.” Daphne replies.

You’d heard Daph say that same thing what felt like a million times over since this whole thing started.

“Yeah, well. It’s going to take a lot more than the botanical gardens to win me over.”

Lorenzo Berkshire was infamously known around the halls of Hogwarts for his flirtatious tendencies. It didn’t bother him much, even though half the things being said about him weren’t true in the slightest. But really what was denying any of it going to do?

Let people think what they want was what he always thought. Only one person’s opinion really mattered anyway. Yours.

Lorenzo had always been the romantic of the group, not that there was really any competition for the title, but still. From the day he met you, he knew that you were the one. You were perfect. Funny, and smart, and kind, always playfully bantering with your friends.

He remembered the summer after third year when Daphne had introduced you to the group. All of you gathered at the Parkinson estate. You had swept Theo in chess and Lorenzo had just sat there staring at you. Completely mesmerized. After that everyone seemed to love you, and you seemed to get along with everyone too. Even him. At first.

The first few months were bliss. Lorenzo loved making you laugh, seeing you smile. He knew then that he was down bad. But then, halfway through your fourth year, it was like a switch had flipped. He didn’t have the faintest clue as to why you suddenly seemed to have a certain level of hostility towards him. But he knew that he missed you.

“What in Salazar’s name could I have possibly done wrong?” Lorenzo groans, head falling back, face in hands as he leans back on the common room sofa. “I thought I was doing everything girls want. I send flowers. I send sweets. I even wrote her heart felt poems about how I feel about her!”

“That is disgusting. Have some dignity,” Draco snorts from his spot across from Lorenzo who just sticks his tongue out at the blonde boy in response.

“Oh hush Draco. I think it all sounds perfectly reasonable,” Pansy remarks, giving Enzo a nod of approval.

“Well it would be perfectly reasonable if it worked! She won’t even give me a second glance. She’s so nice to everyone. Bubbly and sweet and talkative. But as soon as I’m around she clams up! Did you know she’s helping Mattheo with charms right as we speak? Bloody traitor he is.” Lorenzo laments.

To be fair, you had had an upstanding tutoring session with Mattheo for weeks now, instituted my Professor Flitwick, but minor details.

“Well she is pretty talented when it comes to charms,” Daphne says awkwardly, lips pursed as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat, trying not to be noticed.

Pansy squints at her friend, squirming and fidgeting. It was entirely unlike her. She was usually the one with her head screwed on correctly.

“Hold on Daph. You know something. What is it?” She demands.

Daphne looks at the raven haired girl in alarm, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders not daring to utter a word.

“Daph, come on, look at this man. He’s utterly pathetic,” Draco adds, gesturing towards the distressed brunette. Enzo glares at his friend.

“Just spit it out,” Pansy orders.

“She thinks you’re just trying to use her for sex!” Daphne blurts out, crumbling under the pressure.

Lorenzo blinks once. Then again.

“What?”

Daphne just shrugs once more rather helplessly as the group just stares at her as if she would solve all of Enzo’s problems.

“To be perfectly fair, there are a lot of rumors about you that have been circulating for years. I think, you just might be coming off a bit- ah, disingenuous perhaps?” Daphne says finally.

She could practically see the gears working in Lorenzo’s head as he takes in her words. She’s a bit worried she’d broken him when he remains silent for what seems like forever.

“I have so much work to do,” he announces finally, standing up and marching off to his dormitory, a look of fierce determination sketched onto his face.

“Oh now look what you’ve done Daph,” Draco groans, looking at the retreating back of his friend.

“She’s the one who made me say something,” Daphne protests, pointing an accusatory finger at Pansy.

“Shush Draco. None of us wanted to hear him monologue about his undying love again anyway,” Pansy retorts.

To be quite honest, you were feeling a bit ambushed as none other than Lorenzo Berkshire plopped down beside you on the sofa that you had claimed in one of the rather abandoned corners of the library.

“Afternoon love,” he chirps happily, shooting you one of his famous smiles. The kind that normally made girls melt at the mere sight.

“Hello Lorenzo.”

“You never responded to my note,” the boy chatters on, ignoring your clear disinterest in his presence. You really weren’t sure if the boy didn’t notice, or didn’t care.

“What note?”

The boy blinks at you. “The note I sent with the tulips the other day?” He replies, as if it should have been obvious.

“Oh. I threw those away.”

“Oh, you threw them aw- what?” He asks, apparently caught off guard by your nonchalant answer.

“I threw them away, placed them in the trash can, sentenced them to eternal damnation. Do try to keep up Enz.”

“Wha- why?” He splutters, genuinely looking a bit hurt.

You look at the boy raising an eyebrow. "I throw away all of your flowers."

"All of them?"

"Are you daft?"

Lorenzo's jaw is practically on the floor, his ego clearly being knocked down a peg or ten.

"Yes- I mean no- I mean- why are you throwing away my flowers?" He splutters.

Growing increasingly more frustrated, you glare at the boy.

"Can you quite down? And if I can be quite honest Lorenzo, I'm not exactly your biggest fan. It's nothing personal of course, you understand," you sigh, trying to get back to your reading.

Enzo is having none of it however as he tries to replay every interaction he could think of between the two of you. He simply doesn't understand. He thought he'd never been anything but a gentleman to you.

"You don't like me? Me specifically? But- you like everyone!"

It was true. Lorenzo had never heard a bad thing about you from anyone. Not even Draco had a bad word to say since you seemed to go out of your way to show kindness to everyone around you.

"Yes well, you're not everyone else Lorenzo."

Lorenzo's mind races as he stares at you in shock. You looked awfully lovely today. Damn it, stay focused. He just wanted you to see him. Was that too much to ask?

"I'm not just trying to use you for sex!" he blurts out, immediately slapping a hand over his mouth, staring at you wide eyed. Real smooth Berkshire.

With a groan, you snap your book shut, closing your eyes in frustration as you realize that you're not going to be getting any reading done with Lorenzo sitting next to you.

Taking a slow inhale, you turn to get a good look at the boy beside you. Fluffy brown hair, warm, earnest eyes, only marred by the subtle pout adorning his lips.

“Let’s just say I were to give you a chance-“ you start.

“You won’t regret it. Pick you up at 8 tomorrow!” He replies, jumping in, the widest smile gracing his face.

Looking at the boy was like looking at a golden retriever puppy. You knew he was anything but, but how could you say no to that face?

“Alright Berkshire. One chance. Then, I never want to hear about this again.”

He was not going to blow this. He simply wouldn’t allow himself to. Everything that he had been working for these past months was leading up to this, he just couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. Enzo was giddy with anticipation as he lead you carefully down the cobblestone path.

“You better not be leading me out to the forest to murder me,” you call out to the boy behind you, his hands firmly in place over your eyes.

You were only half joking.

Before he even needs to respond, Enzo drops his hands and you’re immediately hit with bright sunlight.

“Where are we?” You ask in shocked amazement, staring around at the garden before you. It was straight out of a fairytale really. Bright, glowing green leaves, flowers of every color. There were even little, glittering sprites dancing about the flora.

“Hogwarts gardens. You never been?” Enzo asks, walking over to a spread on the lawn that you hadn’t even registered yet.

It was clear that he had put in some effort. The soft blanket laid out on the grass was littered with fruits and pastries, even a variety of little sandwiches.

“Didn’t even know this place existed,” you mutter, allowing the boy to guide you to a nice, sunny spot on the lawn.

“I’ve been working out here with Sprout for years. My favorite place,” Enzo tells you offhandedly, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

Under the warm sunlight, he looked unreal. Like an ethereal creature who took a wrong turn and somehow ended up sitting in front of you. You really could see what all the fuss was about when he was staring intently at you, a soft smile gracing his lips.

Wait.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you realize you’d been staring as well, but Enzo doesn’t seem to mind.

“I think Daph mentioned that you were some herbology buff,” you say in an attempt to recover a bit of your dignity.

Enzo smirks. “I suppose that’s one way to put it. I am top of the class.”

“I thought that honor went to Longbottom,” you reply, picking at the food in front of you.

Lorenzo's face turns to a grimace.

"He could be real competition if he weren't a such pyromaniac. Sprout is still giving him the cold shoulder after he almost burned her prized Cobra Lily. Thing deserved it though. Always hissing at me."

You don't know why, but you can't help but let out a laugh at the thought of the Lorenzo Berkshire having an ongoing feud with a plant.

"Haha, yeah. You laugh now, but that bloody plant has been antagonizing me for weeks. I'm one hiss away from dropping the damn thing off of the astronomy tower." He responds sarcastically to your laughter, only causing you to fall into a further fit of giggles. The brunette boy just sticks his tongue out at you in defeat.

"Oh come on now, that's no way charm a witch," you tease, pulling yourself together as you grin at the boy in front of you.

"Yeah, well I've tried every other way I can think of, so it was worth a shot," Enz replies, his joking smile not quite reaching his eyes.

Your grin falters as Enzo's eyes drop to the grass surrounding the both of you and you take in the sudden silence of the gardens.

"It's hard to believe someone actually likes you when you're just another face in the crowd," you say finally, not willing to meet the boy's eyes.

"You don't have to believe me now. I'll wait."

It was a moment of sincerity that you weren't expecting out of the boy. Usually he was all jokiness and smiles. Not a bad quality by any means, but you were never sure when you could trust the boy's words. You felt like you could trust him now though, in that moment.

After that, you find yourself quite enjoying your afternoon. You had forgotten how easily the two of you actually got on when you weren't avoiding the boy like the plague. He had so many stories about the gardens, and it quickly became apparent that the particular spot he had brought you to was his sanctuary. It was nice getting to hear him talk, without all the extra noise and whispers, and off-putting looks from your classmates. You had missed him.

In the days following your garden excursion, Enzo keeps his word- backing off a bit from his pursuit for your affection. He was still around of course as you shared a friend group, but the excessive love poems had stopped and the next bouquet of tulips that appeared in your dorm was addressed to both you and Daph which she was thrilled about.

Over the next few weeks, it did not go unnoticed by you that your eyes had seemingly become magnetized to a certain brunette boy, quietly observing. He'd caught you watching a few times, tossing you one of his famous, dazzling smiles.

Slowly, you find yourself seeking the boy out on purpose as you found that you rather liked the way he had been able to make you laugh so easily that day in the garden. You had forgotten how much fun he was to be around. How warm and happy you felt when he looked at you. And he was rather sweet when he wanted to be. You had known the boy for years at this point. You thought you could read him like a book, but he still managed to surprise you.

In fact, you were as surprised as anyone to find yourself seated next to the boy in your astronomy class. It was a relatively new seating arrangement, but you found that he made the late night class significantly more tolerable. You didn't know what time it was now, but it was late, and you were tired.

"If you fall asleep, I'm not going to catch you if you fall out of the tower," Enz whispers in your ear as you fight to keep your eyes open and trained on the night sky.

"Yes you would, you’re too obsessed with me to let me fall," you respond, still able to feel his breath on the back of your neck.

You couldn't remember when the two of you got so comfortable with one another, but it had happened so quickly you almost didn't realize. Almost.

He hums in response, backing away and scribbling down the name of some constellation before gazing out at the sky once more.

“Whose idea even was it to let sleep deprived teenagers take a class at midnight in a tower without railings. They’re practically asking for a student to fall,” you grumble, slumping against Enz dramatically.

He lets out a soft snort of laughter this time as he continues to chart different constellations onto his parchment. You had finished the night's assignment ages ago and now had nothing to do but watch him quietly, resting your chin on his shoulder as he draws perfect little stars.

“What’s that?” You ask, reaching over the boys shoulder to pull something out of the notebook.

The soft pink color had caught your eye, peeking out of the pages, and a gentle tug reveals the petals of a tulip, followed by a green step. The flower isn’t as vibrant as it should be, and is flattened like a book page.

Enzo pauses, looking at the flower carefully.

“That’s from the first time we met.” He says, trying hard to sound casual. He continues to stare down at his notebook, but the stiffness in his arm makes it clear that he isn’t focused on stars anymore.

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion.

“Pansy doesn’t have tulips at the estate,” you reply, suddenly feeling more awake.

“No. But the greenhouse here does.”

Feeling even more confused, you tilt your head, waiting for Enzo to go on.

He carefully plucks the flower out of your hand, tucking it safely back into his notebook.

“The first time we met was in second year. We were learning the Herbivicus charm and I just couldn’t get it. But you got it so quick. You helped me, and that’s the flower we grew.”

You don’t know what to say. You don’t even remember that day. It seemed so insignificant to you at the time.

“And you kept it?” You ask, your confusion amplified by your sleepy haze.

“I liked you,” is all you get in response.

You’re quiet after that, watching silently as Enzo scratches away at his parchment. His eyes flickering over to you nervously every so often. It was strange seeing him without his usual confident smirk.

As class eventually wraps up, the two of you slowly make your way down the winding staircase, quickly falling behind the other students who were racing off to get some much needed rest.

Your feet reach the final step with a muffled thud as you come to a hesitant stop. Normally this is where you and Enzo would split off for the night, but looking up at the boy, rays of moonlight glowing across his face, you can’t find it in yourself to move away.

With a sudden wave a confidence, impulsiveness, and probably a fair bit of deliriousness, you find yourself grabbing onto the collar of Enzo’s shirt, pulling down, and crashing his lips onto yours.

It takes a moment for realization to fully hit Enz, but you quickly find yourself back against the cold stone wall, Enzo’s lips still firmly on yours, deepening the kiss as he boxes you in. He moves against you with sheer lust, years of pining pouring out.

You vaguely feel his hand moving up your thigh, gripping tightly at your waist before moving up to cup your face, thumb brushing against your cheek softly tilting your head up further as his lips move against yours.

It’s hot, and dizzying, and just, right. You’re not quite sure how to describe it.

When Enz finally pulls away, you can feel his breath against your lips from his soft pants as he looms over you.

“I think a like you too,” you murmur, lips just barely brushing his with every word.

That’s apparently all Enzo needed to hear before he’s practically carrying you back to his dorm.

It’s a blurry haze as you find yourself pulling him onto the bed, lips connecting once more as your bodies move methodically against each other. It’s as if you’d simply turned off your brain, any worries or doubts scattering to the winds as Enzo’s warmth overtakes you.

The next morning a wave of icey cold fear washes over you as you realize what you’d done. What had you been thinking? All these years of avoiding him and for what? Rolling over in the tangle of sheets, Enz is still fast asleep, bathed in streams of sunlight peaking through the curtains. He really was gorgeous.

“Mornin love,” his voice shaking you from your thoughts.

“Hi,” you reply cautiously, turning to meet the boy’s eyes.

His eyes shine as he grins contentedly at you, pulling you closer so your noses are practically touching.

“I can tell what you’re thinking. Stop it. You’re stuck with me now,” he says, pressing a quick peck onto your lips.

Your face grows warm as he continues to pepper your face with kisses.

“I don’t ever want to leave this moment,” you sigh.

You can feel Enzo’s smile.

“I’m that good am I?” He asks cockily.

You snort. “Don’t want to have to admit to Daph that I can actually tolerate you for extended periods of time.”

“Aw, c’mon now love, don’t be like that,” Enz chuckles, tapping your nose lightly with his finger.

You can’t help but let out a small laugh as you feign annoyance, batting his hand away.

“I’m going back to sleep. I don’t want to deal with you anymore,” you tease, rolling over.

Enz just laughs, snaking his arm around you and pulling you close, pressing a kiss on the back of your head.

“Now that I have you, I’m not letting you go,” he murmurs as you allow your eyes to flutter shut once more.

“Wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.”

Did I start writing this way back in April? Yes. Do I remember what the original plot was going to be? No. Is this edited? Also no.

Anyway, Live Laugh Love Lorenzo Berkshire🤪

[atinylittlepain]

A High Price - A Joel Miller Story

Joel Miller x f!reader/f!oc

Joel Miller masterlist

She's been with Joel and Ellie since the beginning. When she finds out Joel's plans for Tommy to go with her and Ellie the rest of the way, she decides it's time to end whatever closeness they had shared. But a change of plans and a brush with death forces both of them to come to terms with just how much they’re willing to pay to hold onto each other.

warnings | 18+ angst, smut, canon-typical violence

a/n | this fic follows the events of episode 6 verrryyy closely, but I fixed it :) but also, it's a doozy folks, you've been warned

The town of Jackson is making her nervous. Mostly because she can see how uneasy Joel has been since they got here, how he wearily eyes the children that seem to be everywhere, his dismay at the sight of Christmas decorations . She can’t help but feel much the same, it’s like they’ve found the one place in the world where time paused before everything went to shit, and after months on the grizzled road, it’s far more than just a shock to the system. Ellie seems equally perturbed, and her hackles have been up from the start. 

She softened a bit after a shower and a clean change of clothes, had laughed at the gift Maria had left for Ellie. She had to explain to the girl how the menstrual cup worked, the humor of it quickly rolling over into sorrow when she realized that she herself hadn’t needed to worry about that for twenty years, her body too flooded by a constant stream of cortisol. It made sense really, her body knew there was no use trying to create life when the whole world had rolled over in death. A streak of pain shot through her when she saw that Maria was in fact pregnant, followed quickly by a stark anger that she smothered out before it got the better of her.

Joel had skulked off to try to resole his boots, leaving her and Ellie under Maria’s charge. She had offered them both haircuts at her house and while it was nice, to be taken care of, her heart was stinging with the sight of Sarah’s name on that chalkboard. She didn’t know much, but she knew enough for it to be like a slap to the face when she saw it.

Maria had taken Ellie along to a town movie while she had returned to the house they were staying in to get some sleep, and try to shake off that uneasy feeling that had settled in her spine. She finds Joel’s pack in what she supposes is the master bedroom, slipping into the large bed and waiting for the warmth of his body to tangle with hers. They had picked up some habits along the road, falling into something with each other that she knew would never be called anything other than comfort. It was fine, she figured she’d take him anyway that he’d let her have him.

She must have dozed off, because much later she’s startled awake by the sound of shouting coming from down the hall. It sounds like Joel and Ellie, but she still grabs her gun before creeping down the hall towards where all the noise is coming from, light seeping through the crack of the ajar door. She shoulders up against the doorframe, tucking her gun into the waist of her jeans and listening in to the pair’s argument. Her head spins at the information that Joel has asked Tommy to take Ellie the rest of the way, the harsh words he spits at the young girl. Ellie shouts back at him.

“Well, what about her, Joel? What’s she gonna do?” Ellie says her name like a broken question and Joel huffs.

“I don’t know. She’s better off without me too. Can do whatever the fuck she wants for all I care.” His words take her breath away, and she doesn’t have time to catch herself before Joel is turning heel and storming out of the room with a slam of the door. He runs straight into her in the hall, grabbing her elbows to steady them. She wrenches out of his grip, stumbling back. His face goes slack at her pained expression.

“How much of that did you hear?” She scoffs, muttering “heard enough” before shuffling back down the hall to grab her pack from the bedroom. She’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight.

Joel is hot on her heels, following her into the bedroom, a hand tugging at his hair in seeming frustration. She wordlessly grabs her pack, shoving her things back into it as he watches her. 

“Will you talk to me?” She lets out a bitter laugh at his words, finally turning and looking at him.

“What the fuck, Joel? What the fuck was that? You making decisions for us now, huh? Think you know better than me? Well newsflash, that was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard!” She’s gotten up in his space and shoves hard at his chest, making him stumble back.

“Look, you may be mad right now. But eventually you’ll see that I’m right about this. I-I can’t protect her. Can’t protect you, it’s–” “That’s such bullshit. I don’t need protection, Joel. And maybe you can’t protect her, but we can. Did a damn good job of it these past few months. God, but now you’re gonna be a fucking coward?” She thinks briefly that she sees the glimmer of tears in his eyes, but she’s too mad to care. She shoulders her pack, going to step out of the room, but he blocks her path. He swallows hard under her steely glare.

“I’m sorry, but I–” she shoves at his chest again.

“I don’t want your fucking sorrys! Finish the job, you coward, or get the fuck out of my way.” She finally shoulders past him, and he doesn’t follow her this time. He seems to have made his choice, and she’ll have to live with that.

…

She spends the night, restlessly, on the couch downstairs, waiting for Tommy to come pick up her and Ellie. She’ll go with them to the university, it hadn’t even been a question to her. And after that, well she certainly won’t be coming back here, back to Joel. 

She manages to sleep a few hours, woken up by the sound of Tommy coming inside. He waits at the front door while she goes up to get Ellie. She’s surprised when she passes the master bedroom to see the door ajar, Joel and his pack nowhere to be seen. That bastard must have skipped town. Good fucking riddance.

They head out to the stables and she’s once again surprised when they find Joel there, saddling up. He’s changed his tune, and when Ellie says she wants to go with him, already foisting her pack into his arms, he tries to catch her gaze over the top of the girl’s head, but she refuses to look at him. She promised Tess she’d finish this job, and she’s going to, regardless of whom it’s finished with. But whatever closeness she had with Joel has withered in the course of the night. She decides that this will be the last time she works with him.

The trio sets out, Joel and Ellie on one horse and her following close behind on another. A week’s journey, and then she’ll never have to think about Joel Miller again.

Days pass in a frozen blur. It’s not lost on her how their roles have been switched. In the past, it was always her job to keep Ellie’s constant conversation entertained while Joel silently scowled. Now, Joel keeps up the talk, occasionally trying to draw her into the chatter, but she remains steeled against his attempts to get her to thaw, only answering the questions Ellie asks her. She knows it’s dangerous, how much she’s come to care for the girl. It was Joel who had told her as much, that the price for caring about someone was one you just couldn’t afford in this world. She figures it’s too late to pull back from her, having already sacrificed so much to get her across the country, because she knows she’d do a whole lot more for her too.

When they reach the university campus, it’s a relief and a shock. The last time she had been somewhere like this was when everything went to shit. Like every other survivor, she remembers the day all too well. She woke up that morning in her boyfriend’s dorm room, and by the end of the day she was getting hauled to a quarantine zone in the back of a military truck. 

She’s quiet as they ride through the campus, but can feel Joel’s eyes on her as he answers Ellie’s endless questions about what college was like. His voice is a bit gruff when he next speaks.

“You should be asking these questions to her, kid. She was actually smart enough to be somewhere like this.” She can’t help how her eyes widen at his words and when she glances at him, she thinks she sees the hint of a smirk there. Ellie immediately shifts her attention to her, asking her all sorts of questions about what she did at a place like this. For once, she’s happy to talk about the past. She feels the anger she’s been keeping bubbling start to roll over, finding ease in rejoining the conversation, but she still keeps her attention on Ellie, only barely glancing Joel’s way.

The campus is desolate and when they find what must have been the science building with a golden firefly emblem on above the entrance, disappointment lays thickly over them when they see it’s been deserted. On the third floor, however, they manage to find a map, with all arrows leading to Salt Lake City. They must have moved shop. Joel looks at her, both their faces set in a stern resolve. This trip is going to be a bit longer than they planned. Just then, they hear voices coming from below. She sidles up to the window and sure enough, a group of raiders are traipsing across the campus. Joel looks at her and she just nods, a silent confirmation that they need to move quickly and quietly. 

They get outside, and she tries to clear her mind of the way he keeps a hand on the hilt of her spine as she peers behind the wall. It’s clear, and they scurry over to the horses, trying to hastily saddle up. Ellie freezes where she stands, looking behind them. She whips around and sure enough, two of the men they had seen are rushing at them. She doesn’t even have to think, pulling out her knife and running at them. She handily slits the one man’s throat, but the other grabs her shoulder and lands a punch that sends her jaw singing in pain.  She doubles over, trying to shake off the ringing in her ears. Joel’s right behind her and grabs hold of the man, struggling a bit before snapping his neck. The sound makes her stomach churn.

When she finally collects herself and gets a look at Joel, she blanches. He’s been stabbed low in the side, the handle of the weapon protruding still. Joel looks down, seeming to realize at the same time that he’s been hurt. She doesn’t think quick enough to stop him from pulling it out, and when he does blood quickly begins to puddle in his cupped hand. Her mind is going a mile a minute, but Ellie shakes her out of it with a low curse. There are two more men coming towards them. She has to get them out of here and fast.

“Ellie, get on that horse, now!” She grabs Joel by the shoulders, shoving him towards the other horse and helping him up. He lets out a broken shout as he swings his leg over the saddle and it sends a streak of panic down her spine. She hauls herself up behind him, taking the reins and kicking off. Ellie follows alongside them, firing warning bullets at the straggling men. 

They manage to lose them, following train tracks out of the town and in the general direction of Salt Lake City. She keeps pinching Joel’s thigh, trying to keep him awake, keep him talking. But he’s fading fast, and she doesn’t know what to do. Suddenly, his head slumps forward and she curses.

“Joel? Hey, Joel, c’mon, stay with us here– shit!” His body goes slack and he slips right off the horse into the drifting snow. She immediately dismounts, Ellie following suit, and kneels down beside him. His eyes are flickering, rolling back up to the sky. She presses the heel of her hand down into his wound, trying to stop the bleeding that has persisted since they fled. He whimpers under the contact and it makes something in her shatter. Ellie is calling his name, lightly patting his face. But it’s not enough, and he slips unconscious, his face ashen in the gray winter light.

“Fuck!” For a moment, she just panics. No clue what to do. Her hands are shaking as she quickly shucks off her coat, Ellie watching her like she’s crazy. She takes off the flannel she had been wearing and rips it up into strips, tying them together and then wrapping the makeshift tourniquet around Joel’s wound. She doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but right now, it’s the only thing she can think to do. She takes a deep breath, a wisp of a plan slowly coming into mind.

“Alright, Ellie, we gotta get him back on one of the horses. We gotta find shelter.” Ellie looks bewildered by her command.

“He’s not gonna make it if we–”

“Don’t, kid. It’s the only shot we have. Help me move him.” It’s a struggle, getting his slack body back up onto the saddle, but they manage and she slips up behind him again. She wraps her legs around his to keep him in place. The only comfort as they ride is the short puffs of breath she feels him letting out into her collar where his head has slumped down. As long as he’s breathing, I can be ok.

She was never religious, not before, and certainly not now. But, as they continue riding, she starts to pray to someone, anyone. She knows that Joel would’ve told her to leave him. Would’ve wanted her to leave him. But now, it’s become quite clear to her that leaving him is something she’s incapable of doing.

His breathing is getting slower, even more shallow. She counts the space between each exhale and feels panic rising as that space gets longer and longer. They need a fucking miracle.

They get a fucking miracle. 

A farmhouse appears in the distance, in a thicket of frozen trees. She can see smoke coming from the chimney. She’s too panicked to make any real plan, telling Ellie to hold back while she rides up. She doesn’t care if the people are hostile, she’ll kill them with her bare hands if it means Joel will have a shot at surviving.

She stops right in front of the house, and it’s a rather awkward maneuver to slide Joel off the saddle and lay him out in the snow while she sidles up to the front door. She cocks her gun and shoulders through the door, and finds herself both relieved and embarrassed when all she meets is a rather shocked looking older woman standing by a wood-burning stove.

A fucking miracle indeed.

…

The woman’s name is Maggie. She tells her to bring Ellie and Joel in. They lay him out on the musty couch in front of the stove and Maggie immediately takes to treating his wound. She moves with an unexpected precision, getting Joel out of his jacket and layers, cleaning the gash with rags that they boiled on the stove and then taking to the wound with bandages she pulled out of a rusted first aid box. Joel remains unconscious, but color starts to come back into his face as he lays in the warmth of the stove. Maggie offers soup to her and Ellie, but her stomach is still rolling as she watches Joel’s unconscious form so she gives her bowl to the girl as well. 

She sits on the arm of the couch, keeping a hand around Joel’s ankle as Maggie talks to them. She tells them that her husband’s name is Rod, that he’s out hunting and he’ll be home soon, but that she’ll deal with him. She can’t help but think that they’re much like that couple they had met only a week or so earlier, another pair that lived quietly enough for the end of the world not to notice them. The older woman seems to sense the tension in the air, seeing both her and Ellie still anxiously watching Joel. She asks Ellie if she’d like to help her dress a few rabbits out back and the girl’s eyes dart between the older woman and her. She offers her a small smile and a nod to go ahead, that it’s ok, and Maggie leads her out to show her how it's done.

As the door shuts behind them, she lets out a long sigh, sinking down onto the floor and resting her head back against the couch. She shuts her eyes, a wave of exhaustion finally washing over her now that the adrenaline has worn off. Her brain kicks up a chant of he’s ok, he’ll live that lulls her into a sleepy daze, only being startled out of it when she feels him start to stir behind her. She whips around, kneeling in front of the couch, her fingers itching to reach for him, but instead just watching as he slowly comes to. He looks shocked to still be alive, eyes darting around the room before landing on her. He goes to sit up but immediately winces in pain and she presses her palm into his chest to keep him laying down.

“Joel, just stay down. You’re ok. I’ll get you some water.” She grabs her own water bottle that Maggie had filled for her and brings it to his lips, coaxing a few sips out of him. He’s looking at her like she’s grown a second head, entirely perplexed. His voice is hoarse when he finally speaks.

“You should’ve left me.” She scoffs, shaking her head and forcing him to take another swig to shut him up.

“A thank you would be nice.” He only gives her a steely scowl at her words that she just rolls her eyes at.

“Joel, can you try to not be an asshole after we just saved your life?” She gets up to get him a bowl of soup but can still hear his grumbling words.

“Surprised you’d want to save my life. Thought you’d washed your hands of me.” She sighs, choosing not to respond to his murmurs as she kneels back down beside the couch with soup and a spoon. He raises an eyebrow at her. She gives him an unamused look, holding a spoonful of soup out to him that he begrudgingly takes. Surprisingly, he lets her feed him more of the soup, not moving his utterly confused gaze from her face. She thinks to herself that he must still be pretty out of it to be letting her do this.

He finally bats her hands away with a grumble, once again trying to sit up. Though he successfully gets upright, swinging his legs down so his feet are planted on the floor, it’s not without groans of pain with each movement, his bare chest heaving once he finally sits back. She instinctively goes to smooth her hand over the gauze they laid over his wound and he shivers under her touch, her eyes immediately darting up to his.

“Does that hurt?” He huffs, grabbing her hand in his own and giving it a squeeze before resting their entwined fingers on his thigh.

“Sure don’t feel good. Where’s Ellie?” Just then, the back door swings open, Ellie walking in ahead of Maggie, brandishing two dressed rabbit carcasses in her hands. When she sees Joel upright and lucid, first relief washes over her face, and then a very smug grin. She holds up the rabbits like shining trophies.

“Welcome back, old man. Told ya I could do it.”

…

Rod comes home soon afterwards, and while it’s tense at first, it’s clear quickly that he answers to Maggie, and what she says goes. They sit in the main room of the cabin, the three of them pressed together on the couch while the couple sit in two thread-bare armchairs, asking them all kinds of questions. Rod keeps looking between her and Joel and then glancing at Ellie, seeming to try to figure something out. He finally clears his throat.

“You don’t often see families out on the road, where are y’all heading?” Her and Joel practically trip over each other to correct him, speaking on top of each other.

“We’re not–”

“That’s not what this is–”

Ellie just laughs, telling the old man that they’re not her parents, just two people getting paid to transport her to her real family. She’ll have to thank the kid later for the smooth save. The couple seem to accept her explanation, but Rod continues to look between her and Joel over the top of Ellie’s head. It’s only just starting to make her uneasy when Maggie invites her and Ellie to help get dinner going. They leave Joel and Rod lowly murmuring about directions to Salt Lake City. 

As she chops potatoes, listening to Maggie explain to Ellie how to carve up the rabbits, she gets that same sickening feeling she got in Jackson. For a moment, there’s a sliver of normalcy that makes her shudder. They roast the vegetables and meat over a fire that Maggie sets on a small stovetop. She leans back against the doorframe, watching the older woman show Ellie how to cook the food. Her ears prick into the conversation in the other room, Rod saying something in a rather severe tone.

“Son, you do realize that young woman saved your life, right?” There’s a long hiccup of silence before Joel speaks.

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Believe me, I know. Saved me in more ways than one.” She’s not given too much time to ponder his words before Maggie and Ellie are whipping by with a huge skillet of food. They all eat in the living room, serving themselves straight out of the pan. She’s surprised by how hungry she is, though she figures it’s been nearly a whole day since she last ate. 

Finished with dinner, she asks Maggie for the first aid kit, taking Joel out to catch the last light of day in order to redress his wound. The old couple had offered to teach Ellie how to play gin while she takes care of him. He sits down on the bench out on the porch, already moving much better with some more food in his system. 

Relief floods through her when she removes the gauze and sees that the gash is already starting to clot, hardly any more blood coming through and the angry redness calming under the salve Maggie had rubbed in. She kneels down in between his thighs, trying to as gently as possible clean the wound as he stifles whimpers under her touch. She lays another square of gauze over the wound, letting her palm wander up his side before squeezing his shoulder and sitting back on her haunches. He clears his throat before speaking.

“Thank you, alright? Thank you.” She just nods, but Joel isn’t done talking.

“I figure we sleep here tonight. Rod showed me how to keep following those tracks to get to Salt Lake, we’re looking at three, maybe four days of travel.” Her head is spinning, not really believing his words.

“Are you serious right now? Joel, I don’t know if you noticed, but you almost fucking died. You’re not gonna be ready to travel tomorrow, and hell, probably not the next day either. Maggie told me they’d let us stay on a bit longer, if Ellie and I help her out with stuff around here. But you’re not fucking traveling anytime soon, not on my watch.” His fists are clenched in his lap as he listens to her speak, finally shaking his head in frustration.

“Look, I just need some sleep. I’ll be good to travel in the morning, you don’t know–” She’s on him in a flash, standing up to tower over him, right in his face.

“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sick of you trying to call all the shots, Joel. This time? You’re gonna listen to me.” He tilts his chin up at her defiantly.

“And why should I?” She practically seethes with anger.

“Because I saved your life, that’s why. Don’t make me fucking regret it.” She whisks away from him, storming back inside and slamming the door behind her. She finds Ellie and the couple playing cards and mutters at the girl to go help Joel inside. She’s done playing nurse for the night.

Unfortunately, Maggie and Rod had different plans. When it came time to turn in, they offered the couch to Ellie, while giving her and Joel the loft upstairs. The loft with only one bed. She did her best not to balk at it, not wanting to seem ungrateful to the couple as they closed their own bedroom door after saying good night. 

She mutely helped Joel up the stairs, guiding him to sit down on the edge of the bed while she got to work unrolling her sleeping bag onto the floor. She heard him scoff behind her as he watched her movements.

“What the hell are you doing?” She glances at him over her shoulder.

“I’ll take the floor and you’ll take the bed. You need it more than I do.” He lets out a breathy laugh at that.

“Oh, come on. It’s not like we haven’t slept together before.” She finally turns to fix him with an icy stare. He just crosses his arms over his chest.

“Joel, don’t. I can’t argue with you anymore.” She sighs, fully sitting down on the ground, staring at her hands in her lap. She’s got no fight left.

“I don’t want to argue, but I don’t want you sleeping on the floor. Please.” Her head whips up at that, a word that doesn’t usually come out of Joel’s mouth. There’s something in his eyes that she can’t quite place. Something that makes her give in to him. She stands with another sigh, starting to toe off her boots.

“Alright, fine. We’ll both sleep in the bed.” She’d like to smack the smug look that slides across his face, but it’s quickly replaced by winces of pain as he moves to take off his shoes and pants. She helps him shuck off his jeans all the way, ignoring his grumbles that he can do it himself, and helps him under the covers. She quickly peels off her own jeans before getting into bed, hugging the edge of the mattress and turning her back to him. He huffs behind her.

“Not how we normally sleep, is it?” She scoffs at his words.

“You’re injured. And I’m still pissed at you.” 

“Look, I-I’m sorry.” “What for?”

“Jesus christ, can’t you take a damn apology?” She chooses not to respond to that and Joel sighs.

“I’m sorry for what I did in Jackson. For not talking to you. Trying to cut ties. I just, I really thought it’d be better for everyone.” She swallows thickly.

“Well, I don’t get that. I thought we had a good thing going, thought we were a team.”

“We did have a good thing. It’s why I was trying to set you two loose from me. I’m getting older, weaker. A-and the price was getting too high.” She finally turns over, looking at him with her brow furrowed. He glances at her before letting out another sigh.

“I care about you, more than I should. I care about the kid too, but you– if I ever failed you? Out there? That’d be the end for me. I know I couldn’t go on then. So I figured it’d be better to let you go, without me, no chance of letting you down then.” They fall into a heavy silence as she studies his profile. Those were not words she was expecting to hear out of him.

“Joel, I– the price is high for me too. Think I realized it when you collapsed off that fucking horse. But sometimes I feel like you don’t take me seriously, and it drives me insane. I may be younger than you, but I’ve been out here just as long as you.” He draws one of his hands down to tangle with hers.

“I know you have, darlin. And I’m sorry. I’m an ass, but I’ll listen to you, I’ll really try.” She squeezes his hand.

“We’re a fucking team, Joel. I need you on my side.” His eyes soften in the dimming light.

“Fuck, need you too.” For now, it’s enough for them both. They manage to sleep that night, neither one letting go of the other’s hand.

…

They’ve spent three nights at the farmhouse, and Joel continues to heal. Ellie and Maggie are sitting on the porch, playing gin. Ellie has gotten wickedly good at the game, even giving Rod a run for his money. She’s out front, helping the old man and Joel chop firewood. She’s just glad that Joel feels well enough to be swinging an ax, but would be hard pressed to admit that her gaze lingers on the sliver of skin above his waistband that slips into sight each time he throws his arms back in a swing. 

It’s been decided that they’ll leave tomorrow and start the journey towards Salt Lake City and whatever it may entail. As such, Maggie had declared that they’d need to have a proper meal tonight, like she hadn’t been feeding them like kings all week. Rod had brought a deer back from his hunting yesterday, and Ellie had, very proudly, helped him dress the carcass. They’d certainly eat well tonight.

She and Joel had settled into a sort of closeness again, something more tentative, something heavier with meaning. They hadn’t really discussed what had been said that first night any further, but each night since they’d fallen asleep pressed close to one another. She had however noticed the way his breath would hitch as she checked his bandages, and had maybe started to trail her fingers a bit aimlessly just to see how worked up she could get him before cruelly stepping away. He was due for some payback anyways.

Dinner, as expected, is rich and near coma-inducing, and Ellie promptly flops onto the couch face first. She and Joel help the old couple clean up before saying their goodnights. Joel no longer needs help up the stairs when they head up for bed, he hasn’t for two days now.

They dress down in silence before slipping under the covers, settling into the middle of the bed. She rests a leg over his hip, turning into his chest as he wraps her into his non-injured side. He looks down at her.

“You ready to head out tomorrow?” She snorts, burrowing her cheek closer into his chest.

“Pretty sure I should be asking you that.”  His arm draws her in a little tighter.

“I am. Almost back to a hundred percent, thanks to you.” They settle into a simple silence. She breaks it with a hoarse whisper.

“Joel? You gotta know how glad I am that you’re not dead.” He just hums at that, but she tilts her head to rest her chin on his sternum, looking up at him.

“I mean it. Christ– when you were splayed out in the snow– I panicked– didn’t know what to do– just knew that you couldn’t die or I’d lose whatever is left of my mind.” He brings his fingertips to skate across the arc of her cheek, carding his fingers through her hair before pressing his thumb under the hilt of her jaw to draw her face up to his. It’s a shivering little thing of a kiss, their lips just ghosting together before breaking away. It’s a low thrumming whisper that breezes across her lips when he speaks.

“You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere, darlin, not without you.” She presses forward this time into an entirely different kind of kiss. It’s a kiss that takes and demands that something be given. He brings both his broad palms to cup her face and she huffs as she tries to press closer to him without hurting him. He seems to notice her frustration, pressing her to lay down as he shifts to lean on his good side and dip back into a kiss. She pulls away with a sigh.

“Don’t wanna hurt you, not when you’re healing so well.” He huffs, tracing her lips with his thumb.

“You’re not gonna hurt me. Just let me have you.” She can’t even protest, not when he’s already licking into her mouth and fumbling with the buttons of the flannel she still has on. She swats his hand away to get the shirt off herself and he moves his now idle hand down to her hip, giving the plush swell harsh squeezes and drawing her closer to him. Her shirt draws open and he nudges away the fabric with his nose, lips smearing across her chest and laving over her peaked nipples in a way that makes her keen up into his touch. She runs her hands easily through the buttons of his own shirt, laying open-mouthed kisses in the middle of his chest. They’re a mess of mouths and hands and sighing breaths, finding whatever bare skin they can to mark as their own. She lets out a whine that he quickly shushes as he bites harshly at the soft skin at the juncture of her jaw.

“Joel, please, I want you now.” They press their foreheads together for a moment, swallowing each other’s ragged breaths before Joel nods. He shifts until he’s hovering over her, kneeling between her spread legs and caging her in between his arms. 

She presses the sleeves of his open shirt down his arms and he breaks away just enough to shrug it off entirely. She takes him in, fingers grazing down his chest and skating over the bandage across his side before he grabs her wrist, bringing her hand to his lips and laying a kiss in the middle of her palm. He brings his own palm down between her breasts, rough fingers splayed out below her sternum before dragging his hand down her torso in a way that makes her shudder. His fingers deftly slip under the band of her underwear and he doesn’t even have to ask her to lift her hips for him to slide them down her legs, tossing them off to the side before dipping back down to meet in another kiss. 

Still in his boxers, he presses his hips forward into hers and they both groan at the contact as his hardness ruts against her center. She tugs at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Don’t fucking tease me right now, Joel. Need you.” He shushes her with a smacking kiss.

“I know what you need, I’ve got you. I’m yours, I’m all yours.” She draws her hands down to the waist of his boxers, shrugging them down his thighs just enough for his cock to come free and rest against her hip, smearing pre-cum across her skin. They move fluidly. She draws her knee up to his waist, opening herself up for him as he fists himself and draws the head of his cock through her folds before pressing into her. They both let out broken sighs when his hips press against hers. The roll of his hips is slow but harsh as he finds a pace in his thrusts. He dips his head into her collarbone, muffling his groans into her damp skin as she rakes her nails down his back. She’s entirely wrapped up in him, whispering little gasps of his name each time he presses impossibly deeper into her. Suddenly, he takes in a sharp inhale that sounds less like pleasure and more like pain, she draws his face out of her neck and can see the wince in his eyes. Panic seeps into her spine.

“Hey, hey. Is it hurting?” He sighs, trying to ignore her searching gaze but she presses a palm into his chest to stop him.

“Baby. Lay back, ok? Wanna make it feel good for you.” He sighs, but does what she says, untangling from her and laying down. She carefully straddles him, the wet heat of her cunt dripping over the throbbing underside of his cock. She leans in to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

“S’ok, Joel. I’m gonna make you feel good.” He brings his hands to the swell of her hips, fingers flexing into her dimpled skin as she lines his cock up with her entrance, stifling a moan as she takes him all to the hilt. Joel’s eyes are darting everywhere as she sets a gentle rhythm, the crease of pleasure between her brows, the golden dampness in the hollow of her collarbone, the obscene bounce of her breasts with each swivel of her hips. All he can do is sigh.

“You’re perfect, darlin. So perfect for me. You’re mine, right? Fuck– tell me you’re mine.” He presses his palm between her shoulder blades to press her forward and she hovers over him, brushing her lips over his in something far too messy to be called a kiss.

“I’m yours, Joel. All yours.” He bends his knees and plants his feet into the mattress, starting to meet her weakening thrusts with his own. She can feel herself at the edge of pleasure, ready to tip over into oblivion. She buries her face into his neck as he fucks up into her, letting out broken whimpers with each thrust.

“Need you to come for me, darlin. Know you can do it. Let go for me.” His words send her hurtling right over the edge, pulsing around his cock as she comes with a silent cry. He fucks her through it, his thrusts starting to falter as he feels his release creeping up on him. She reluctantly pulls off of him, nuzzling into his side and bringing her hand to wrap around his throbbing length. She brings her lips to his ear.

“Come for me, Joel. Show me you’re mine.” With one more pass of her fist he’s painting his stomach with his spend, letting out ragged whispers of her name as he comes. They lay entangled for a moment, but she’s quick to check his bandage.

“Was that too much? Are you ok?” He lets out a whisper of a laugh, brushing her hair out of her face and looking at her in a way she hasn’t seen before. His voice is hoarse when he finally speaks.

“I’m fucking perfect, darlin.” It makes her laugh, and she dips her head to press a kiss into his collarbone before getting up to find something to clean them up with.

They settle back into bed after getting cleaned up. He falls asleep before her, with her temple pressed right over his heart. She knows that it’s all hers, and that she’s all his, no matter the price.

[svtgg]

Edyth started their LIVE: Cooking Live!

pairing: edyth x jeonghan, mentions of other members & carats

dont wanna cry era

genre: humor, slice of life

wc: 800ish, short and sweet!

“Hi, everyone!”  Edyth waved at the camera, eagerly waiting for people to enter the live. She glanced over at her own phone screen, looking through some of the comments.

“Where is your headband from? Oh! My headband is actually a gift! Yun got it for me on Christmas.”

She answered a few more questions before clapping her hands, signifying the beginning of the actual liveshow.

“Good morning, everyone! Or, I guess it could be night where you are… anyways! It’s morning here and since I mentioned being recently into cooking, I was thinking I could do a little bit of a cooking vlive with you guys!”

The obvious excitement in her voice was enjoyable to watch and many carats expressed liking the idea of the stream.

“Since it is morning, I plan on making pancakes from scratch. None of the members are awake yet, so hopefully I’ll be done by the time they wake up!”

Edyth took her time reading through a recipe that she had found online, showing the ingredients to the viewers as she went. Soon enough, she had put all of her dry ingredients in one bowl and her wet ingredients in another. She planned using a hand mixer in order to get the batter done quicker. She plugged it in and placed it in the bowl.

“Why am I kind of nervous to do this?” Edyth asked carats. She chuckled nervously, then taking a deep breath, she finally turned it on. The batter immediately flies everywhere and Edyth lets out a scream before shutting the mixer off again. She’s frozen, with her mouth open and wide eyes flickering from the comments that are flying past her screen, the mixer still in her hand, now dripping with unmixed batter, and the batter now sticking to the counters and even the wall. 

“What happened?” 

Edyth whips her head at a person off screen like a deer caught in the headlights. Despite his raspy morning voice, carats are able to tell that it’s Jeonghan that has walked in on Edyth’s mess..

She pouts and puts down the bowl and mixer, “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” She is just now remembering how much of a light sleeper Jeonghan is and how she should have done this on the other floor where she wouldn’t have woken any of the light sleepers.

Jeonghan carefully steps over some batter that has splattered onto the kitchen floor. He shakes his head at Edyth, “How could I have not woken up when you're ruining our kitchen.” He chuckles when Edyths frown deepens, “I’m just kidding, I’ve been awake for a while but got worried when I heard you scream. I just wanted to make sure that nothing happened. Are you making breakfast?”

“Yea. Say hello to carats!”

Jeonghan waves at the phone. “Why don’t you clean the mess you’ve made and I’ll finish mixing this for you.”

The two get to work, Edyth whips down the counters and the floor while Jeonghan finishes mixing the batter, without getting it everywhere. They tear open a bag of chocolate chips. Edyth giggles as she adds them to the batter, trying her best to keep them away from Jeonghan, who was not so sneakily eating them. Soon enough, they’re taking turns pouring the batter onto a pan and flipping them.

It isn’t much later that they’ve moved to the living room, sitting cross legged in front of their table and with plated pancakes waiting to be eaten.

“Okay!” Edyth claps in excitement, “You take the first bite.”

Jeonghan laughs at her bubbliness. He’s still chuckling when he brings a fork up to his mouth and takes the first bite. He suddenly quiets down and his facial expression stills before seemingly recovering.

“What was that?” Edyth asks.

“What was what?”

Edyth points a finger at him, “I saw your face change! Do they suck?”

“No, no.” Jeonghan denies, his hands waving in front of him. “Sure, they’re not the best, but they’re….” He trails off, not being able to come up with an adjective to positively describe the food without lying. Edyth hits Jeonghan on the arm and they laugh.

“You eat it,” Jeonghan says.

Edyth reaches for her utensils and cuts herself a piece, shooting Jeonghan a dirty look, “I bet it’s good, you’re just messing with me.” 

Jeonghan laughs when she finally puts the first bite in her mouth. She chews slowly, as if trying to make up her mind on what to think of their creation. “It’s good?” Jeonghan teases.

The two of them decide to scrap the pancakes all together and instead of trying to make themselves breakfast, they chat with carats as they sip on their coffees. Soon enough, members start to wake up, each of them being offered a bite from their failed pancakes, and each of them spitting it out. Jeonghan and Edyth can only giggle as they watch their members suffer the same way they did.

As the stream comes to an end, Edyth thanks Jeonghan for making their morning fun and carats for sharing their morning with them. The two of them share a knowing look when Dk is the last member to enter the kitchen and is intrigued by the pancakes sitting on the counter.

[madstronaut]

tis christmas in july aka the season for feasting year-round 

much like the 3-in-1 monstrosity of shampoo/condish/bodywash that the COD men probably use (not gaz, though he would n e v e r) I am tossing in my ramblimmentaries three of cin’s lovely fics together here 🥰

aaanyway not even ashamed to say I’ve been re-reading their holiday keegan fic SEVERAL TIMES a month since I first saw it last december cos it’s so cute and fluffy

ok I need to get this out of the way laughing my ass off rn because autocorrect changed cumikering to cucumber several times throughout here and i was howling when I went to edit this and I was like why are there cucumbers everywhere??? LMAO

Reading: Neighbour Keegan Russ x reader by @cumikering

ah meet cute at the laundry room; I love it alr (as you can see i am easily pleased/amused/moved)

also it’s already on sight with reader’s cuz, i have unfortunately met ppl like this IRL (haven’t we all) and well talk about telling on themselves about how unhappy they are :/

“Well, if you need company…” he said, trying to not sound too hopeful. I’d love to spend some time with you. You turned to him, brow raised. “Wait, you mean, you want to come with? Be my plus one?” “That wasn’t- well, yeah. I can do that.” He shrugged. “If you want.” This wasn’t the direction he was heading for. He was going to offer to spend Christmas together, maybe exchange gifts, but he surely wasn’t going to take that back. Anything for a chance with you.

AAAA OBSESSED WITH HOW CUTE AND AWKWARD THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE IS

He always enjoyed seeing your face brighten like that, despite never getting the chance to see it enough…But between deployments, he was lucky to even catch a glimpse of you once a week, leaving any possible advances towards you simply a fantasy to him. He was out of practice, but was he that out of practice that he came on too strong and scared you? He certainly didn’t mean to make it suggestive. This was going to end before it even started. He grimaced to himself.

we love some good ole mutual pining🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰

That time you saw Keegan on a run shirtless out your window you had to sit down.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA crying laughing at this…also reminded me of a time I hung out with a friend in LA who went to pick up a friend after he ran a marathon and drop him off before we went to dinner - didn’t realize the runner was an old acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while since he was a senior when I was a freshman in college but I fucking remembered him alright when he came running up ripped af, shirtless, sweaty, saw me and went “MADSTRONAAUUTTTT OMG” and picked me up and spun me while in his giant hulking sweaty arms and I briefly bluescreened…anyway cough sorry back to keegan what was I saying, yes shirtless sweaty keegan yes yes 

He didn’t speak much (you wished he did though because his voice was divine)

my fellow voicekink brian bloom fans where you at

ah wooing by fake dating, is there a better trope (tbh the ones I’ve read are hit or miss but this one is 10/10)

Keegan sat on his bed as you went through his wardrobe. How cheesy would it be if he were to pull out his guitar and serenade you? He, too, was told the ladies liked men who played the guitar. Why do you think he picked it up in high school?

*thousand eyed stare thinking of how many times I've heard wonderwall as a millenial*

He’d made it his mission to make sure taking him to your family was worth your while.

ah yes a true soldier through and throughhhhh~

You were a steady stream of glee that didn’t drain him and he couldn’t get enough.

AAWWWWWWW fucking loved this line!!!!!!!

also the cousin’s name as Bella now has me picturing her as twilight kristen stewart

It only made it hard to dilute your hopefulness that this meant the slightest bit more than nothing.

“dilute your hopefulness” GAAHHH LOVE THIS PHRASE CIN MWAH MWAH

now how to put this lightly but everything about bella just filled me with pure rage lol first off I WOULD ALSO KILL FOR A DYSON AIR WRAP GIFTED TO ME (can I buy one? yes. can I justify buying one? hell no) and I hate to use this term but textbook definition of a ‘pick-me girl’ right here but seeing casual cruelty like this would make me hear those kill bill sirens and have me swabbing some vaseline on my face and taking my earrings off and spitting some razorblades out my mouth and- cough anyway that’s from my younger fanciful days, I don’t carry razorblades in my mouth this isn’t late 90s/early 2000s new york ha cough anyway moving on smh throwing my hands at bella up in air

but I loved the contrast with keegan and let me just say everything about bella’s ‘gift’ goes against the pure nature of giftgiving and I am thrilled that she left the card there but got to take Keegan home 🥰

this whole fic reminded me of a lovely quote I read on a tear-off daily calendar lol

“The wise one knows. The giver of the gift IS the gift. And the gift is just the giver’s heart in the shape of something to make you smile.  The gift decays. The giver stays. And so the real gift remains.”

I will make an exception for celebrating Christmas in July for any of cin's holiday fics 🥰🥰🥰

-----------------------------------------

aaaaand also reading: by Ghost x plus-sized reader by cinny

omfg fucking tearing up my pillows to shreds at how much I love this lil fic!!!

You scoffed, looking past him at the other ladies in the room. “Are you serious? There are plenty who weigh far less.” His brow rose. “Are you calling me weak?”

fucking love reading about a suave smooth-ass ghost

His eyes softened a touch. “May I? Please?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WHO CAN RESIST PUPPY EYED GHOST??? TELL ME WHO

 Across the pub, the table of three men grinned at the massive stranger. The one with the mohawk was very much entertained as he gave him thumbs up.

yes yes we love wingman!141

You laughed, your breath warm against his ear. “Are you going to set me down or am I having my drink on your back?” “Don’t give me ideas.” He chuckled as he lowered you to your feet.

HOW CUTE IS SIMON CARRYING READER TO THE BAR? AAAAAAA

“Okay. Well, thanks for he drink. You could get back to your mates if you want.” “I’m Simon,” he mustered instead.

“he mustered” AAAH I LOVE BIG NERVOUS MEN STUMBLING OVER THEIR WORDS

When he turned to them, they immediately busied themselves with their drinks, averting their gazes.

LMAO

So that was why you were alone. You were waiting for someone. Disappointment anchored at the bottom of his chest. “Right. Okay.” You smiled. “Thanks for the drink, Simon. I’ll see you around, yeah?” He grunted and you headed to the end of the bar. He stood umoving for another second before retreating to his table like a kicked puppy.

ummm omg I literally keeled over and slumped out of my chair in sympathy for simon for a good minute before I could read on OMG CIN HOW COULD YOU (lmao jk I loved this sm)

You flagged down some other blond man who walked over to you with a smile.

LMAO yes yes simon you are clearly superior

“I know she’s with someone, but I can tell she likes you more,” Price said, and Simon finally tore his gaze away from you. “Ye should fight ‘im, L.T. He dinnae stand a fuckin’ chance.” “You can knock him out with a slap,” Gaz quipped.

fucking love this, cin has 141 characterisation down to a T with each of their responses!!!! 

also men of the world if you can please take notes on stepping up from 141 here, please start doing so yesterday tyvm

so busy mopping up my heart from melting at how adorable this meet-cute is and I also got halal two days in a row from the halal guys cart by work thanks to reading about the kebabs in this fic

-----------------------------------------

and finally reading: Ghost x asmr artist reader by cinny

"Simon had a pepper problem and a pasta dilemma"

🥺🥺🥺🥺 I am dying at the cuteness here alr🥺🥺🥺🥺

You turned to him. He noticed the little startle before you shoved your phone back in your pocket.

men who are self-aware of their size and presence and the effect it has on ppl around them and act accordingly, I love you

Your quiet cooking videos were one of the only things left that offered him calmness, especially on those nights away on missions, giving him tingles in all the right places, and shamefully, the wrong ones too sometimes.

sir, sir, there is no room for shame in love~

“Ah- I’m sorry,“ he managed, flustered by your sudden exit. “I didn’t want to be presumptuous, but you make those videos, don’t you? I recognised your voice.” You grinned, turning to him. “I just wanted to thank you,” he said. “Your videos comfort me a lot.” “I’m happy to hear. Thank you for watching.” Simon wanted to tug his beanie over his face because as you walked away, he was unmoving with a racing heart and a blush over his pale cheeks.

omfg WANTED TO TUG HIS BEANIE DOWN??? I AM IN LOVE I LOVE STRONG YET VULNERABLE GIANT MEN SM (this is a fluff fic so I am keeping with the fluffy vibes nd restraining my horny ass from choking out some absolutely thirsty comments here)

Despite the uncomfortable circumstances, your quiet yet crisp voice always sent him into a restful slumber.

yes shoutout to my favorite YT vids and comfort fics for putting me to sleep without fail

The chance encounter only fuelled his attraction. Knowing the kind smile behind the sweetest voice felt like an intimate secret, one you shared with him and only him - not with the rest of your few thousand subscribers.

i love how sweet simon is here with his lil parasocial crush and OMG WHEN READER APPROACHES HIM FIRST IN THE PASTA AISLE I also blushed IRL GOD I LOve FLUFF FICS SM

“Someone sent in a recipe for a video, and it’s absolutely delicious. I’ve been making it at least once a month ever since.”

SIMON’S COMFORT YOUTUBER’S COMFORT RECIPE IS SIMON'S??? WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS OUROBOROS OF A COINKYDINK

He combed his hair back with his fingers, hoping his hat hair wasn’t terrible. He caught the double take you did at his tattooed arm.

🥰hehehe i love these little tidbits and morsels of vulnerability (hmm good band name, writing that down)

The rich scent of caramelised meat drifting in the room wrapped around him like a warm blanket.

Between sips of tea, you enjoyed your own halves of the chocolate wordlessly, the music melting into the background.

The savoury aroma glided past the thin gaps of the oven, swirling and dancing between you and him.

mmmmmm this has to be one of the coziest fics ive ever read

“I was an apprentice butcher before I enlisted.” He pressed down on the ricer with ease.

so much said in two sentences!!! ugh mwah mwah so many chef’s kisses for your writing style cinny

also loved how both are very self-aware and how reader picks up on simon talking about his mom in past tense and the whole fic emerging to fit around this bit of simon’s story is so wonderful to me… He waited until you took a bite before taking his own, and his breath caught. His brows furrowed as lump formed in his throat. Had the ground cracked and plunged him into a glitched universe? He was once more in Manchester, 10 years younger, finally home after a long day at the butcher, his mum and brother waiting at the table with the piping hot dish in the middle of it.

literally picturing that critic eating ratatouille flashback end scene from the eponymous movie 😂🥰

The last thing he wanted to do in front of you was shed a tear, but there he was, some hulking stranger sobbing on your shoulder as nostalgia held him in a death grip. It was humiliating to be seen like this – he didn’t remember the last time he cried from feelings, yet the tears wouldn’t cease despite his efforts. But you held him close, and his thick arms wrapped around you. He told himself if he pulled you close enough, it would hurt less.

i love how simon’s comfort streamer becomes an IRL comfort place for him to safely break down 🥹🥹 did I cry from reading this? IDK MAYBE WHO KNOWS? (looks at the ruined kleenex piled in my wastebin)

I hope all readers know and have a person and place like this (and may we host such places and become such people as well) 💛✨🌿

and of course I will pause my rambles here with a big-ass hug 🫂 and thank you to cinny for being a wonderful comfort fic writer for meeee 🫶🫶🫶😘👌😘👌😘👌

[iamawolfstarsimp]

Merry Christmas bitches!!

I wish you all have a very merry christmas to those who celebrate and to those who don't hope you have an amazing day too!!

Here's a christmas present from me to you all, because honestly this app and the people I've met on here have truly saved my life so I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

anyway now that we're done with the mushy stuff-

Enjoy!! ❤️💚

To say they had gone overboard would be ridiculous considering how much the Winchesters drank.

But Dean was almost positive that he had never drank this much in one sitting. Even Cas was getting pretty tipsy, and in human standards that would be totally smashed.

Thankfully, Sam had told him to slow down and just find his own pace instead of matching Cas per drink before he shuffled off to bed.

He almost felt guilty for how much they drank. But on the other hand, it was Christmas Eve. They deserved to have fun.

Dean's eyes fluttered open when he felt someone land on top of him. He let out a soft "oof" and heard the person laying on him giggle.

He glanced down at Cas and couldn't help hit smile at him. His cheeks were flushed pink and he was curling into Dean's side, failing to hide his adorable, drunken grin.

"Wht 're you doin'?" Dean slurred, not exactly remembering how he ended up falling asleep on the couch. He felt Cas start to play with the hem of his black t-shirt, mumbling a quiet "nothing" into his chest.

Castiel's fingers roamed underneath his shirt, lightly dragging his fingers across Dean's stomach. He let his hands fall into a steady rhythm of ghosting his fingertips across his sides, then rubbed his palm across the middle of his belly before returning to just barely touching the tips of his fingers to Dean's sides.

Dean held back a laugh but let himself grin while watching Cas. The treatment Cas had come up with was both an terribly light tickle and the best belly rub ever.

"You're so beautiful," Cas mumbled even though he wasn't even looking at Dean's face. He just continued his steady rhythm across his torso. "I love your smile. And your laugh."

"I don't understand why you try and hide it." He continued.

"Cas, please-" Dean started before being shushed by the angel on top of him.

"Just let me love you," Cas looked him in the ey as he said that. Dean lost all ideas for anything to say back but his mouth was soon otherwise occupied.

Cas kept his kisses deep and soft, letting Dean melt beneath him. His hands hadn't stilled and were still lightly tickling but something that was more bareable than it was before.

Cas' kisses soon trailed from his mouth to his forehead, cheek, nose, chin. Dean couldn't help but scrunch his face and start grinning like a dork.

Cas let his kisses go elsewhere to his neck and ears, letting teeth and tounge join the mix, combining them into an element that he knew Dean absolutely loved and hated.

Dean's head fell back onto the arm of the couch - which really only opened up access to more spots - and let out a steady stream of giggles.

Cas blew a miniature raspberry to finish off and leaned back, also grinning like an idiot, to admire his work.

"Y-you're ridiculous," Dean panted.

"Did you like it though?" Cas smirked, all too knowing.

Dean paused for a moment. "Shut up." He grumbled. Cas laughed and snuggled up into him again, resting his head in the crook of Dean's neck. They went for a few minutes in comfortable silence, taking in each other's company. Cas the one the to break the silence. He always was.

"You want me to continue." It wasn't really a question. Dean didn't have to answer anyway, Cas already knew the answer. And Dean knew that Cas knew. And Cas knew that Dean knew that Cas knew. And really, was he ever supposed to resist that?

When Sam found them the next morning he didn't bother waking them. He did take a few pictures to send to Jody though (and for blackmail).

[mrs-dr-reid]

My Personal Dean Winchester Headcanons

Part 1/?

FOREHEAD. KISSES. If this man doesn’t kiss your forehead at least 15 times a day, he might die. He MUST ALWAYS kiss your forehead, whether he’s saying “hi”, “good morning”, “I love you”, “I missed you”, “goodnight”, “how are you?”, whatever the occasion or conversation, you bet your ass a forehead kiss is coming with it

You get him a record player for Christmas the year after you guys start living in the bunker because you found two gigantic boxes of vinyls in a storage closet, and now whenever he’s cooking, researching with you and Sam, or cleaning his guns/knives/other objects that kill things, he’s listening to his records

Will take any opportunity to get his hands on you in both every day and nsfw situations. Whether it be putting his hand in your back pocket while walking somewhere, kicking Sam from the shotgun seat solely so he can hold your hand while he’s driving, throwing you over his shoulder while you’re doing chores and forcing you to snuggle with him, or kissing your neck while you’re doing stuff because he’s a horny little shit, he’s gonna do it

During really long stretches between hunts when you guys are just hanging around the bunker not doing anything, he organizes “Nostalgic Media Nights” with popcorn and snacks and the works, where he either locates an old cartoon, movie, or sitcom from when y’all were kids/teens on a streaming platform or bootlegs it, and y’all sit down in the living room to watch it, and it doubles as an “Introduce Cas To Mortal Pop Culture Night” as well. He nearly threw up when Cas said he genuinely enjoyed One Tree Hill when the rest of you guys only put it on to make fun of how bad it was

All of his flannels are organized in his closet in the order of how much he wears them, with the most often worn on the left and the least often worn on the right. Sam hates it and always tries to arrange them by color, but he just puts it right back claiming his system is better anyway

Very handy. He always fixes things in the bunker before you or Sam even notice that they’re broken, and you only learn that they were broken when you ask him what he did that day and he offhandedly mentions that he fixed a thing

He collects vintage cookbooks. He finds them in thrift stores and at flea markets, and a couple times a month you three pick a random book and scour through it to find the most offensive and war crime adjacent recipe you can and try it out. You all like jello much less than you did before you started this tradition

When he gets sick, he’ll deny it and try to keep on trucking until he actually passes out from exhaustion, so you have to borderline barricade him in his room to make sure he stays in bed and gets some rest. And he’s a total grump about it, but he’ll still thank you quietly when you bring him ginger ale and tomato rice soup like his mom used to make

He watches cooking shows for the sole purpose of shit talking the contestants. It’s hilarious to watch him while he’s watching Hell’s Kitchen, because he turns into an American Gordon Ramsay and just roasts the hell out of all the competitors. But when he’s watching Great British Baking Show? He was once heard saying, “Oh come on, Barbara, those bagels are flat as hell! STEP UP YOUR GAME, WOMAN, OR YOU WON’T LIVE TO SEE THE END OF BREAD WEEK!”, and you and Sam proceeded to die laughing

He sings in the shower, but he does it in a way that he puts on a SHOW in the shower. He exclusively listens to hair metal while he’s in the shower, and he acts like he’s actually on stage with all of his favorite artists while washing his pits. Although one time you did hear him singing along to "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift, and you had to fight every urge you had to not record him for blackmail purposes

When he sleeps by himself, he starfishes on his stomach so he can reach the gun under his pillow easier. But when he sleeps with you, he lays on his back with an arm slung around your waist while you’re partially sprawled over him and snuggled into his chest

He’s very bi. Sam always makes jokes that Cas is his boyfriend, but you’re his wife, which always earns a “Confused Angel Head Tilt™️” from Cas, an eye roll from you, and a facepalm from Dean

He taught himself Morse code on a whim because he was bored out of his mind, and for a while he was able to get away with making fun of Sam or “creating chick flick moments” for you, but then you and Sam taught yourselves Morse code and totally call him out on his attempt at being sneaky

He’s absolutely TERRIBLE about keeping New Year’s Resolutions. He makes a list, and he actually follows them for a while as lofty as they end up being, but come February 1st, he’s back to being the same dumpster fire of a human being he was before, but he still gives himself a pat on the back for lasting as long as he did

He’s secretly a cat person. He loves dogs, but he has to admit that cats are badasses. He’s never met a cat that he didn’t immediately like, and cats seem to gravitate towards him because they share his “no fucks given” attitude

He’s insanely good at guessing games like Guess Who, Charades, Pictionary, all that shit. You guys even came up with a way to play Guess Who where the questions you ask are almost too oddly specific based on the vibes of the little character cards, and he still always wins

His favorite way to kiss you is with both of his hands in your hair with your hands on his elbows. He always trails a few cheeky pecks down your neck for fun because he loves it when your cheeks flush bright red when he does

He always texts you to let you know he was thinking about you and what prompted his thoughts. Like “Saw a really pretty sunset earlier. You’re really pretty, too, so I thought of you” or “Saw a really cool car in your favorite color. Made me think of you”, and he always tacks on either a heart emoji or the “<3” because he’s an old man. You can’t help but smile every time you read one of those messages

[fckinwild-kiwi]

Dec. 16th: Islands in the Stream

Day 16: Cute Aggression/Spontaneous Dancing

It’s time for day 16 of @comp-lady’s Domestic December writing challenge! Day 15 was a free day and I used it to travel for Christmas so there will be no fic on the 15th. :) The next ten days of stories will be shorter than I have been writing…this is because I’ll be with family and I’ll have less time for writing each day. Forgive me! <3

Warnings: Swearing, *Slight* Allusions to Smut (This is an 18+ blog, minors dni)  Word Counts: 0.7k+ Words Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader

You had seen a TikTok earlier today of something called the “Beckham Test.” In this video, the woman began playing “Islands in the Stream” by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. As the song began to play, she began to dance and you quickly realize that if the man randomly began dancing with her, regardless of his moves, he ‘passed’ the test. You thought about how funny it would be to see Eddie’s reaction to hearing this song, a song that is very clearly not in his wheelhouse. So you set out to try the challenge discreetly, even if he didn’t dance, the challenge was so ridiculous anyway that it would give you both something to laugh about later.

With your mom and Macy still at your grandparents' until dinner, you had music playing all day as to not draw suspicion from Eddie. In preparation, you set your phone up on the window sill above the kitchen sink. As the music started playing, you started to hum and sing along as best as you could after only hearing the song a handful of times on TikTok. 

“What are you doing in here, baby?” Eddie questioned as he came into the kitchen causing you to turn and look at him. 

“Doing dishes and listening to some music,” You answered, as you turned back towards the sink to put your dishes down. This is the moment, you thought to yourself as you turned back to face Eddie while swaying your hips a little to the beat.

In the background you hear, Islands in the stream, that is what you are, there’s no in-between... and Eddie, your ever-confident and lovable boyfriend, grabs your hips and begins to sway with you. You giggled, knowing this reaction would be the one you’d receive but as you both began to lightly sing the lyrics to each other, your eyes grew misty. 

“You passed,” You whispered, breaking the moment as Eddie looked down at you with a soft smile. A second later he noticed your eyes full to tears and his happy expression faded into one of confusion. 

“What, sweetheart?” He questioned, his hands coming up to your face, thumbs swiping underneath your eyes to catch the tears that were beginning to bubble over your waterline. 

“I saw something this weekend on TikTok about knowing the person you’re with is your person based on how they participate in this test,” You began mumbling, looking up into Eddie’s eyes. “I expected you to dance with me but it just made my heart all mushy.”

“Aw, did my girl get too overwhelmed with looooove,” He said, extending the word love in a way that he knew would make you smile and (hopefully) giggle.

“Shut up,” You said, pushing at his chest with no effort as a smile lit up your face.

“I’m glad I passed the test I didn’t know I was taking,” Eddie said, releasing you from his grasp and doing a ballerina spin toward the sink where your phone was sitting. “How about we get this party started, huh?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, stepping towards him as he began typing into your phone. 

“I mean,” Eddie started as you heard the opening chords to the Black Sabbath song, ‘Paranoid.’ “We’re gonna dance, baby, but it is gonna be metal when we do it.”

Giggling, you began to headband while jumping up and down as Eddie pretended to shred on the guitar. Together, you started screaming the lyrics, your bodies jumping up and down with limbs flailing in all directions. You were so distracted that you didn’t hear the front door open and an excited Macy ran into the room.

“Metal dance party,” She screamed, causing you and Eddie to both stop your dancing, startled by the intrusion. 

“Macy Macy, you’re back!” Eddie shouted, grabbing the little girl and swinging her around. 

“Did you guys miss me?” She asked in between squeals.

“So much, sweet girl,” You said, ruffling her hair before walking over to your mom to greet her.

“What’s going on in here, my sweeties?” She questioned, as you pulled away from the hug. 

“Your daughter was afraid I wasn’t actually her person, so we had a dance party and then a metal dance party to prove it,” Eddie said shrugging, Macy still giggling.

“He’s ridiculous,” You argued, rolling your eyes with a smile on your face. Your annoyance was not believable in the slightest.

“Well?” Your mom said, nudging your hip with hers as you both watched the other two dance around. “Did he prove himself as your person?”

“He sure did.”

[moonwritewastaken]

Is It Because of the Sweater? - cc!Foolish x gn!reader

Genre - friends to lovers

Warnings - language, mentions of alcohol and drinking

Hi again! This imagine has a reference to Punz still having Foolish’s sweater because who doesn’t love their dynamic? I only got into the Pummel Party streams recently so I’m sorry if anything is wrong! Also imagines will be a little scarce for a bit cause I’m working on this year’s Tales of Christmas 🎄

- 🌙

Today was your favourite day of the entire week - Saturday. Saturday was your favourite because you got to play Pummel Party with your group of friends and drink the stress of the week away. It definitely had nothing to do with the guaranteed sighting of a certain shark boy.

After starting your stream, starting up the game and getting your drink of choice ready, you joined vc.

“Y/N!” A chorus of voices greeted you as soon as the join noise sounded. You smile, happy to see your friends again. You saw them all separately during the week but it didn’t compare to Saturdays.

“Hi! How’s everyone doing? Sorry I’m late, technical difficulties” You glance at your chat to see what people were saying while your friends responded. You accept Ant’s invite and see that you’re the last person to join. You quickly select your usual character and ready up so you’re not keeping them waiting any longer than necessary.

“You’re welcome for fixing it by the way” Punz’s comment causes you to roll your eyes but you play along anyway.

“Oh thank you king Punz, I’m so thankful you were there to save me” your dramatic tone gains a laugh from him.

“Okay, let’s go! Start it up Ant” Foolish cuts in, ending the conversation before it can really start. Your chat seems to have caught on to the weird behaviour too but you choose not to address it.

The reason you were so late today was due to a technical issue with your game capture. You were staying with Punz for a couple weeks and he was letting you use an extra set up, and because you had only gotten there yesterday, there was still some tweaking to do. As always, it’s weird using a different set up to your own and it was refusing to show your game on the stream. Chat watched as Punz tried to help you fix it, reveling in seeing your interactions. Eventually you both succeeded and Punz had already joined by the time you got there.

Because it was the usual group, the rule of taking a shot or drink if you came any lower than third applied. There were 8 of you so a lot of drinking was to be had on top of the fact you were notoriously bad at most of the games. In the entire history of pummel party Saturdays, you had only ever won the game twice. You were hoping not to get too drunk because you weren’t at home. The last thing you wanted to do was inconvenience Punz by being a drunken mess when he was letting you stay with him. Plus you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of laughing at you when you embarrassed yourself. You were also hoping some of your friends would be down to join you for some Valorant afterwards and you wanted to at least hit a few shots. 

“Uh okay” Ant starts up the game and unsurprisingly, Velvet calls out the attitude. 

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Foolish?” he has a teasing tone to his voice, telling you he isn’t at all offended. 

“Huh? Nothing, just excited to play” he tries to play it off but you know no one’s buying it. You decide you’ll ask him after the game.

By the time this mini exchange had ended, the map had loaded and you were rolling for positions. Rolling your dice you see you’re playing the regular map, your roll of 6 puts you in third. Completing the first turn brings you to the first game; cannon circle. This was one of your better games and you managed to snag a third place, meaning you were safe from the alcohol for now. Punz wasn’t so lucky, and who were you if you didn’t rub it in. 

“Oh Puuuuunz! Guess who bet you in the mini game” your voice took on a singsong tone while saying his name and you heard him groan as soon as he heard it. He hated losing to you because he knew you’d never let him forget.

“Whatever, I’m better than you at every other game” you giggle at the salty tone evident in his voice before hearing a scoff. You’re not quite sure who it is but if chat is anything to go by, it was Foolish. He was acting strange tonight and you had no idea as to why. You get lost in your thoughts and before you know it, it’s time for the next game. 

You see the instructions for temporal trails which was one of your favourites because you got to annoy Punz. You weren’t very competitive, choosing to instead prioritise having as much fun as possible. Punz, however, enjoyed winning. As soon as the game started, you ignored everyone else and headed straight to Punz. 

“Y/n fuck off, you do this every time!” he was laughing as he said it, causing you to laugh as well. After only a few seconds, however, your character is cut off by Foolish. Punz laughs telling you to suck it while your eyes widen. You get over it quickly and laugh slightly. 

After taking your turns for the round, the next game presents itself. Barn brawl, also known as the Fortnite rip off. 

“I am gonna shoot the fuck out of you y/n” Punz’s threat results in an eye roll and a ‘bring it on’ form you. 

As soon as the game starts you run to try and secure a gun. Unlucky for you, you’re shot before you even gain a weapon. Looking at the game chat, you see it was Foolish who killed you instead of Punz. You tilt your head slightly in confusion while respawning. Before you can get a gun, you’re killed again thanks to Foolish. ‘Is he targeting me?’ you think to yourself before respawning once again. This cycle happens a couple of more times before you have enough and call Foolish out. Killing people is literally the whole point of this minigame but he isn’t even trying to kill anyone else. 

“Foolish why do you keep targeting me?” you hear the others break out into laughter hearing you genuinely frustrated, a sight they don’t see often.

“I’m just playing the game” his dismissal irks you because it’s so unlike him. He’s never treated you that coldly, with no emotion in his voice. He continues to target you for the remainder of the game, not allowing you to get a single kill. Sensing the tension building among the group, you attempt to lighten the mood with a joke. 

“Is it because I still have your sweater? Is that why you’re mad at me?” a light laugh and a few gasps can be heard throughout the group as you speak, clearly none of the others knew you had his sweater. 

“No, it’s not that” he was laughing, this was good. Maybe it wasn’t because of you after all. 

“Is it because they’re visiting Punz and not you? Are you jealous that Punz gets to fix their hard drive?” the choice of words catch you off guard, even from Velvet and you see chat spamming a mixture of confused messages. Your face cam must be a sight with the way your jaw hurt from dropping. You can hear the laughs of disbelief from your friends but nothing from Foolish. 

“He’s not saying anything, I bet it is!” Ant’s laughter is still evident from the way he struggled to get his sentence out. 

“So what if it is?” his words shock all of you, your jaw somehow drops even closer to the floor at his admission. 

In all your months of having feelings for Foolish, you’d barely considered the possibility of him returning them. This wasn’t the kind of conversation to be having in front of your friends or on stream in front of thousands, but you weren’t exactly in the right state of mind right now. Even in your tipsy state you could teel the atmosphere had gotten awkward. Despite that, all that was on your mind was knowing what he meant. 

“Foolish?” your voice was as low as your confidence. You hear him sigh, seemingly regretting his words. You wondered why. Was it that he didn’t mean them? Was it because he didn’t want to say them in this situation? You weren’t sure and you were scared to find out. The chat points out how red your face is, not knowing if it was a result of the circumstance or the alcohol or even if it was both. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything” so he did regret it. That still doesn’t tell you why he did. You consider your options, playing with one of the objects on your desk. 

“Foolish call me and end your stream” you don’t even give him a chance to answer, exiting the call. Because your heart is racing and your head reeling, you don’t even say goodbye to chat instead apologising before ending the stream. You wait for what feels like forever, but was only 5 minutes. After the agonising wait, you hear your Discord sound. Picking it up without thinking, you realise you didn’t even check if it was Foolish. It was, however, you both sat in silence for another 5 minutes. 

“Foolish-” you wait for him to acknowledge you before continuing. 

“-what did you mean? When-when you said you were jealous” you clarify exactly what you mean so there’s no chance he can avoid it. There was silence for a few seconds before you saw his green circle light up. 

“I’m jealous because you’re in Florida with Punz and not with me” 

“You already said that. But why, Foolish? I don’t understand” your tone had turned desperate by this point. You wanted to be put out of your misery, for him to break your heart so you could move on.

“Because I like you” this wasn’t what you were expecting at all. Now is your time to fall silent and you wonder if Foolish is feeling the same nervousness you felt just moments ago.

“Oh. I like you too” you can hear him relax in his chair at your response.

“You can keep the sweater” you smile softly, not having any intention to return it in the first place.

The two of you chat for a couple more minutes before you decide to return to your friends with your new boyfriend.

[nadineof30s]

Mary Who?

Peculiar Reader/Miss Peregrine (Platonic)

A Christmas imagine/fanfiction to celebrate Christmas coming up in a few days! Lots of innocent fluff. I hope it's not too cringy lol.

Warnings: Very subtle implications of neglect

Today everybody was buzzing around the house, excited that it was finally winter. We kept track of the days on a little calendar Miss Peregrine hung in the kitchen. Technically the first day of winter wasn’t for a few weeks, but since it was December, everybody said that it counts anyway. I was embarrassed to find out just how much about the world I didn’t know. I knew about months, just not all of their names, and I had previously noticed the changing weather throughout the year, just not the logistics of it. Living in a poor, neglectful household doesn’t exactly encourage a well-rounded education. Luckily Miss Peregrine was able to privately catch me up, for the most part, so I wouldn’t have to humiliate myself around the others.

It was mid afternoon, just after tea time, and I was sitting in the parlor reading a book I was behind on for one of Miss Peregrine’s book discussions she makes us do, when I heard laughing and the sound of something being dragged across the wood floor. I furrowed my brow and looked up to see Bronwyn dragging a huge fir tree into the house, with a proud Fiona skipping in behind her. My eyes widened in surprise. 

“Woah, why are you dragging a tree into the house? Miss Peregrine will have a fit!” I stood up and pointed to the trail of pine needles leading to the still open front door. 

“Don’t worry, she knows! We always put up a tree on the first of December. I did a pretty great job on this one, eh Bronwyn?” Fiona asked, face full of pride. 

“Sure. It might not fit in the parlor, though. I think it’s going to touch the ceiling!” Bronwyn grunted before sighing in relief as she let the tree fall to the floor. 

“I don’t understand. Why would we have a tree in the house? It’ll die and drop needles everywhere,” I thought out loud, puzzled. 

“It’s December silly. There’s only twenty-four more days until Christmas! Merry Christmas!” Fiona yells, clearly very excited about the thought of it. My face scrunches up with confusion. 

“Who’s Mary…Chris…mass?” I attempted to repeat the word Fiona had just said. She laughed and shook her head at me.

“Nice one, Y/N,” she giggled. I laughed with her, realizing this was probably another obvious thing about life I failed to learn. 

“Help us decorate the tree. It’ll be fun!” Fiona practically shouted. I wasn’t exactly sure why or how you would even decorate a tree, much less bring it inside.

“Sure! Just give me a minute…” I trailed off before leaving the room and running up the stairs to Miss Peregrine’s study. I would ask her who Mary was, since she knows absolutely everything. I stopped outside her door and paused before knocking lightly. I heard a quiet “come in!” from behind the door, then entered the room. I walked in to find Miss Peregrine sitting behind her desk looking frustrated with whatever she was working on. Her fingers rubbed her temples while her hair looked slightly disheveled. I suddenly felt like this may not be a good time to ask her about this mystery person.

“Hi, Miss Peregrine!” I greeted her with the most cheery voice I could muster, hoping to put her mind at ease. She leaned back in her chair and smiled at me.

“Hello, Miss Y/N. You seem rather cheerful this afternoon.” 

“Well, yes it is a beautiful day, Miss P.” I gestured to the window, the sun streaming through it creating a nice, natural light. 

“Yes…it’s always a nice day?” She half asked, looking a bit perplexed. She of course was referring to the fact that it was always warm and sunny in our loop. That much I knew.

I nodded  my head at her, the same, probably slightly unnerving, smile on my face and my hands clasped behind my back. She let out a light giggle at my strange behavior. 

“Is there something you need, Y/N?” she asked after a moment. 

“Oh, yes Miss P. I was only wondering who Mary is,” I asked her before plopping down in the chair across from her. She furrowed her brow at me and thought for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, I think I will need more context.” She looked at me with confusion. 

“Well I saw Bronwyn carrying a tree into the parlor and Fiona kept talking about somebody named Mary…Chris-Mass?” I was pretty sure I wasn’t saying her last name correctly. A big smile covered her face and it was clear she was holding back a laugh by the way her shoulders shook. 

“Yes, Y/N, what she was referring to was the winter holiday, Christmas,” she said knowingly, “you remember when we talked about holidays, don’t you?” 

“Oh yes! I do, I just don’t remember talking about…Christ…mas?” I paused before attempting to pronounce Christmas. 

“I’m afraid I may have forgotten to actually go through them all with you. Christmas is a wonderful holiday, known to many religions as the celebration of the birth of Christ,” she explained. 

“Oh. Well, what does that have to do with bringing a huge tree inside?” I asked, still confused.

“That is an age-old tradition, usually observed by normals. But a few of the children loved the idea so we started to recognize it ourselves. You bring a fir tree inside your house and then decorate it with all kinds of colorful ornaments.”

“But…why?” I still didn’t quite get it. 

“It connects to another tradition practiced by normals. There’s a large man dressed in red who uses a sleigh driven by reindeer to deliver presents to all the children of the world. He supposedly puts them underneath the fir tree. It is just a fable that is decidedly untrue, but still a fun thing to think about, isn’t it? His name is Santa Claus. It’s usually something parents do for their children to make the season even more magical,” she clarified. I laughed slightly at her description of this strange person. And also the thought of anyone’s parents making up something so silly.

“Hm that’s so weird! He breaks into people’s houses,” I giggled. She grinned and nodded her head. 

“Well, yes, I suppose you could think of it that way. We do usually give each other gifts on the twenty fifth for Christmas, but I think Santa Claus is just a bit much.”

I nodded in agreement. We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute or two.  

“Why don’t you go back downstairs and help the others decorate the tree. It’s more fun than it sounds, I promise!” Miss Peregrine suggested. 

“Okay. Thanks, Miss Peregrine!” I exclaimed before I got up from the chair and raced back down to the parlor. 

She shook her head endearingly, and continued her work with a huge grin on her face.

—

It was almost Christmas which meant I only had two more days to come up with a gift for Miss Peregrine. I already had gifts together for everyone else, but was struggling to think of something for Miss P. I was sitting at the desk in my room, staring at the blank piece of parchment in front of me. It was meant to be full of present ideas, but remained empty. I tapped my pencil against my chin, beginning to lose complete focus. I looked around my room, desperate for inspiration. All I saw was the framed pressed flowers and art on my walls. I perked up abruptly. I finally had an idea.

It was Christmas Eve and everyone was getting ready for bed, excited for Christmas to come. I clutched the sloppily wrapped box to my chest and tip toed down the hallway to Miss Peregrine’s room. I wanted to give the gift to her away from everyone else in case she hated it or it wasn’t as good as I thought. I knocked on the door, and heard shuffling footsteps a moment after. She opened the door a few seconds later. She was wearing a robe over her nightgown and her raven hair was thrown in a loose braid that reached just above her waist. 

“Hello, Y/N. Is something the matter?” She asked, looking worried. 

“Oh, no, everything is fine! I just wanted to give you this really quick.” I abruptly handed her the box. “Goodnight!” I whisper-yelled so as to not disturb the others. I walked fast to my room down the hallway, leaving Miss Peregrine standing in her doorway with an amused look on her face. It was very obvious I had no idea how this whole “gift-giving” thing worked. 

The next day, everyone awoke early, running downstairs to sit in the parlor to begin exchanging gifts. Miss Peregrine stood at the doorway of her study, waiting for her horde of children to run by before descending the stairs herself, leaving the study door half open. I caught a glance of the gift I gave her hanging up in the study just behind her desk. It was a watercolor painting of a peregrine falcon sitting on a girl’s shoulder. It was a picture of all of us children with our backs facing whoever looked at it. I was in the middle and the falcon sat peacefully on my shoulder, only the falcon was facing the opposite direction. Its facial expression dared anyone to come near. It was a symbol of our protection. A symbol of Miss Peregrine. It was the closest to a family portrait I ever had. I just recently picked up this new hobby of painting, so I wasn’t sure that I could pull it off. I had to admit that it looked amazing in the beautiful, gold frame Miss Peregrine put it in, to hang above her desk for everyone to look at. After a moment I tore my gaze away from the painting and leapt down the stairs to join the others.

After a successful day of gift giving, we all separated to use or decorate with our new things. I got beautiful pressed flowers from Bronwyn to add to my collection and a lovely blue shawl crocheted by Olive. I was standing on my desk chair, carefully taking down my framed flowers so that I could add the new ones I was given when I heard a knock at my door. 

“Come in!” I exclaimed, before sitting on my bed and beginning to remove the glass from the frame. Miss Peregrine walks in the room holding a small, wrapped box. 

“Y/N I wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me. It’s absolutely beautiful,” she said smiling. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you like it! I’ve never done anything so difficult so I was nervous it wasn’t good,” I told her, somewhat distracted by the task at hand. 

“It is breathtaking, Y/N. I had no idea you could paint like that!” Miss Peregrine cried in admiration. 

“It’s kind of a newly discovered talent, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Lovely. Well I also wanted to take the opportunity to give you something.” She held out the box. I took it and smiled widely. 

“Thank you Miss Peregrine!” I shouted. I hadn’t received many gifts in my life, so getting one from the person I looked up to the most meant the world to me. I could hardly hold back my excitement.

“Shh you’re welcome. Open it!” She hushed, though she was still unable to drop the huge smile on her face. I nodded my head and gingerly began to tear at the wrapping paper to reveal a little black box. I looked up at her with excitement in my eyes. She gestured for me to open the box. I slowly pulled the top off of it to reveal a bronze locket with a raven etched on the front. I gasped and pulled the necklace out of the box. I stared at it in awe while Miss Peregrine sat beside me. 

“Here, let me put it on you,” she offered, taking the necklace from me and gesturing for me to turn around. I grinned and pulled my hair to the side while she clasped it behind my neck. 

“Wow, it’s amazing!” I admired the locket even more when it was around my neck. Miss Peregrine giggled and put my hair back where it was. 

“Yes, it has been with me for many years. It came from a friend of mine before we…lost touch.” She looked down. There was a somber tone in her voice, but I chose not to pry. 

“I’m giving this to you because you both share many of the same qualities. To me, this locket represents bravery and strength. Maybe a touch of stubbornness as well.” She chuckled slightly and nudged by shoulder playfully as she mentioned the last part. I smiled and held the locket in my hand. 

“Thank you, Miss Peregrine. This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” I spoke softly. Leaning my head against her shoulder while she stroked my hair. 

“You’re quite welcome, my dear. Just don’t tell the others I gave it to you. I wouldn’t want to cause a squabble!” She jested.

“Yes, Miss P,” I snickered.

[haphazardrolls]

Coming to you in December. Sometime. On a date that has not yet been decided.

Ohey. Our residential vampire escaped from the basement to record a promotional trailer for a very special project. But don't worry. We threw him back in there. :) Coming to you in December live from the Haphazard Rolls cast will be a special canonical Camp Boolieve tale entitled, "Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less [Unless]". This will be live streamed on Twitch, so we hope we will see you there with us when this is delivered. We hope you can look forward to it.

For those who are unfamiliar with them, it should be known that music is a very big part of Abel's life. So if the title sounds familiar to you, then you probably know what song inspired it. :) If you like what you heard and want to familiarize yourself with the Camp Boolieve gang, you can watch VODs from the past campaign here:

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read and listen to this. <3 I'm awkward and bad about posting on this blog specifically, but more so when it comes to sharing more personal and meaningful projects like this. [And I'm the social media manager????] But uh, yea.

I hope y'all have a great night, and again thanks for taking the time to listen to my current stressor.

[angelasscribbles]

Winter Wonderland

Series: None, this is a one-shot and you can find those here.

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Riley x Drake

Rating: PG, it's pretty fluffy

Warnings for this chapter: language

Word Count: 4,038

@choicesholidays prompt: Oh the weather outside is frightful

My other stuff: Master List.

The snow had come down in curtains last night. I opened the door this morning to a winter wonderland. I stood in the doorway and took in the frozen expanse of wilderness. Pristine, white, sparkling snow stretched out in every direction. The sun shone down brightly, reflecting off the stark whiteness. This was what it must be like to be frozen inside a snow globe.  

The crisp morning air bit my nose and cheeks, and the moisture in the atmosphere tickled my tongue. But what really struck me was the silence.

Never in my life had I experienced such complete stillness. It wasn’t just the lack of human sounds. There were no birds and no insects either. No sounds, no movements, not a creature was stirring.

It was as if life had just been suspended. I could be the last person, the last living thing left on the planet for all my senses could tell.

The surrounding trees were nothing more than snow castles. The entire world was made of ice. I was loathe to take a step outside and mar the perfectness of the vast, frozen tundra that stretched out in every direction, to spoil this illusion that only I existed inside this perfect, silent, frozen, white stillness.

I shivered, pulling the blanket I had wrapped around me closer. I turned to go back inside when a noise broke the silence. I turned back to stare down the road curiously.

The sound I heard was a car engine.

I waited for the car to round the bend at the top of the driveway, expecting Max.

This little Christmas getaway had been his idea.

Let’s rent a cabin in Lythikos, he said. It’ll be fun, he said.

Then he’d gotten stuck at Ramsford and sent me ahead without him.

Not that I could complain. Max had been a good friend. The best. He, along with Bert, had become brothers to me, my found family.

He’d brought me to Cordonia, footed the bill for the social season, and done everything in his power to help Liam and me along the way, then comforted me when it all fell apart on coronation night.

Max was the reason I’d stayed in this country after Liam and I fell apart.

Well, part of the reason anyway.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me, wondering how the hell he had gotten that little Ferrari Spider through all that snow.

But it wasn’t Max’s car I saw creeping down the driveway.

It was Drake’s.

Adrenaline dumped in my veins as my panic button was activated.

What the fuck was Drake doing in Lythikos? At the cabin Max had rented for the two of us to spend Christmas at?

I didn’t have time to think about it as I bolted back into the cabin and raced up the stairs. I flew up them two at a time, tripping halfway up.

I went down on my knee, hard. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore the pain as l pulled myself up and half ran, half limped the rest of the way to the top.

I pulled my clothes on in record time, ran my hands through my hair to fluff and detangle the curls then threw on some basic mascara and lip gloss.

I was going to kill Max, and I mean murder him! Dead, he was going to die.

How the hell could he invite Drake without telling me? I would have brought better clothes! I would have been dressed in something cuter!

I heard the front door creak open and Drake’s voice call out, “Hello? Anyone here? Brooks?”

Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, goddamn fucking Max all to hell!

A stream of curses ran through my head as I plotted my best friend’s demise.

What I yelled down the stairs was, “I’ll be right there!”

I tried to walk down the stairs like a normal person despite the fact that my knee was, in fact, on fire. Third-degree carpet burn I was sure.

“Hey,” I tried for casual as I reached the bottom of the stairs, hoping my voice didn’t shake, “What are you doing here?”

What are you doing here? That’s amazing, genius, what a brilliant conversationalist I am.

I wanted to die of embarrassment.

“Uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck, something he did when he was nervous, or thinking deeply, I knew that because I noticed every damn thing about him.

“Max called me, he said he had rented a cabin and the generator was out and he couldn’t reach the landlord.”

My eyes flicked to the overhead light that was clearly on. Not to mention it was toasty warm inside the cabin, thanks to the perfectly functioning furnace.

“Oh, I, ah….” I fumbled over my words, having no clue what to say.

Excitement and fear pinged through me as I realized what Max had done.

“So…where is he?”

“He had to run into town,” I lied.

I don’t know why I lied other than covering for Max was second nature to me.

That and because I absolutely, positively could not tell him the truth. That Max was trying to play matchmaker.

“Oh. That’s…weird. Also weird that he didn’t mention you were here. He kind of made it sound like he was alone.”

I felt like a deer caught in the headlights, “Well, you know Max…”

That actually did the trick.

Drake’s face broke open in a Texas sized grin, “Yeah, you’re right!”

“Have you had coffee yet?” I asked, pointing toward the kitchen, “I can go make some.”

“Coffee would be great, thanks,” he said as he followed me to the kitchen, “Anyone else here, or just you two?”

“Just me and Max,” I answered as I pulled the coffee from the cabinet.

“Are you and he…I mean…is this like a romantic getaway?”

“What?” I fumbled the coffee canister, it slipped from my grasp and clattered to the counter.

Thankfully, I regained control of it before it could tip over and spill.

“Woah! You okay there, Brooks?” He reached out to steady the canister, brushing his fingers across mine in the process.

My heart leapt into my throat as I mumbled, “I’m fine, just clumsy.”

“I know.” He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, but I laughed as I started the coffee brewing, “You should know, you seem to be the one catching me half the time when I trip and fall.”

“Yeah,” he said with a tone I couldn’t interpret, “I’ll always catch you.”

“Thanks…” My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. I told myself to stop reading things into his words that weren’t there. “And no, Max and I are just friends. Well, he’s more like my brother, to be honest. This trip was his idea, it was supposed to cheer me up.”

“Oh, that’s good,” did he sound relieved? “I mean, that he was cheering you up! Not that it’s good that you need cheering up! Is everything okay? Are you still upset about Liam marrying Madeleine?”

“No,” I waved him off as I grabbed two cups and headed for the table, “It’s not that. Liam and I are good. I wish nothing but the best for him.”

In all honesty, I felt bad for him. He didn’t love Madeleine and he hadn’t wanted to marry her. But too much water had gone under the bridge for he and I to salvage anything romantic from the wreckage of our ill-fated courtship. We were friends now and both at peace with that.

“Then what is it? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Nothing, really. Just…it’s my first holiday away from home and-oh!” My stupid knee twisted and I stumbled.

I would have gone down if not for Drake’s quick reflexes. As usual.

“Are you okay?” He asked, genuine concern in his voice as he helped me into a chair.

“I’m fine, just hurt my knee earlier.”

“Let me see,” he insisted, as he pushed my pantleg up and gently probed at my sore knee.

His fingers traced slowly around the edges of the wound and goddamn if I didn’t like the way his hands felt on my body.

He whistled softly, “That’s a good bruise you got there, Brooks, what’d you do?”

“I tripped going up the stairs.” There was no way in hell I was going to tell him why I was running up them in the first place.

“Well, I think you’ll survive, but be more careful, would you?”

“I’ll try,” I agreed, “but I think we both know I’ll probably fail.”

He laughed as he rolled the leg of my pants back down, “True. Here, you stay seated and I’ll take care of the coffee.”

He picked the cups up off the floor where I had dropped them when my knee gave out, placed them in the sink, and pulled two more out of the cabinet.

I watched him as he bustled around the kitchen pouring the coffee and getting the sugar and cream out and my fucking heart threatened to explode.

He was heart-stoppingly gorgeous, but it wasn’t just that. It was more than the rippling muscles, or the square cut of his jaw, although those things certainly didn’t hurt.

It was the shock of silky chestnut hair he was always pushing back, the softness I sometimes caught in his eyes when he looked at me.

It was the way he was always there for the people he cared about, the way he had a softer side that he only showed to certain people.

It was everything about him. I liked the way he walked, I liked the sound of his voice, I liked the way he smelled, I liked him!

But he didn’t know that.

Max did though. This was his way of trying to push us together.

I wasn’t really mad about Drake being there, but I was still going to murder Max for not at least giving me a heads-up.

He could have told me to pack something that didn’t make me look like a lumberjack. 

I made a point to brush some imaginary crumbs off the tabletop so I wasn’t just staring at him as he made his way back to the table and set a cup in front of me.

“Thanks,” I lowered my nose to the cup and inhaled. It smelled heavenly, “Could you pass me the sugar?”

“Already in there, Brooks.” He did that thing where his voice was somehow completely neutral. I’ve been trying to interpret that tone since day one.

“Oh, ah…thanks,” I took a tentative sip.

It was perfect.

He knows how I like my coffee?

“Is it okay? Does it need more of anything?”

“No,” I gave him a smile as I finally started to relax a little, “It’s just the way I like it!”

He took the seat opposite me, legs stretched all the way out as he toyed with his cup, “So do you have any idea what Max was talking about? The power seems to be working just fine.”

The only excuse I have for what happened next is that I panicked.

“Actually, the lights did flicker off several times last night.”

“They did?”             

“Yes,” I could not believe I just bald-face lied like that.

Yes, it was a lie, and no, I did not approve of Max’s methods but what was done was done.

Drake was here, with me, alone in a secluded cabin and I found myself suddenly desperate to keep him there.

“All right,” he shrugged as he brought the coffee to his lips and blew on it before taking a sip, “I’ll go outside and check it out.”

“Finish your coffee first,” I told him, “It’ll keep you warm!”

It’ll keep you warm? I wanted to fall through the floor. Why couldn’t I ever come up with something witty to say?

He snickered as he took another sip, “Don’t worry about me, Brooks, I can handle a little cold.”

I couldn’t think of a real reply to that so I prattled on about Max’s latest peacock acquisition until he leaned forward and down a little to peer out the kitchen window, “I better get out there and get this taken care of before it starts to snow again.”

“Okay,” I said as I stood up, “I’m coming with you!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Your knee…”

“Oh,” I protested, “it feels fine now! Besides, I know where the generator is.”

“You could just tell me….”

“And let you have all that gorgeous scenery to yourself? Not a chance, Walker!”

I felt suddenly warm as I remembered the night we watched the meteor shower at Olivia’s. I wondered if he remembered that night.

“Fine,” he grumbled, “But if I have to carry your ass back in here, I’m definitely going to say I told you so.”

I froze, in terror that he could somehow sense my sudden arousal at the mental image that provoked.

“You coming?” He gave me a puzzled look as he made his way back to the front of the cabin where he’d left his coat hanging.

“Right behind you!” I assured him with far more confidence than I felt.

We bundled up and trundled outside.

The cold was harsh and bitter against the bare skin of my face and I silently cursed myself for making us go outside. For no reason. None at all.

There was nothing wrong with the generator.

I was a liar now. Max had turned me into a liar.

“It’s right over here,” I pointed as I lead the way.

There was an ear-splitting cracking sound as a giant icicle broke off the tree above us. I looked up in time to see it falling toward me but not in time to move out of its way.

Turns out I didn’t have to.

“Riley, watch out!” Drake’s body crashed into mine, reminiscent of the homecoming ball, but without all the blood.

A sheet of solid ice slid off the trunk of the tree, sparkling and glistening as it crashed to the ground.

Drake’s body covered mine as we hit first snow, then dirt. He rolled us out of the way as the icicle shattered harmlessly next to us on the ground.

“Wow!” I breathed as I stared at the enormous ice sword right where I had just been standing, “I’ve never been stabbed by an icicle before!”

“Yeah, well, let’s not start now, okay?”

I turned my head to look up into his face, which was mere inches from my own, my body pinned under his. The expression in those copper and gold-flecked eyes took the breath right out of my body, “Oh!...uh…yeah, Okay…”

We stayed that way for a long second then he rolled off of me and offered me his hand, pulling me off the ground.

I stumbled into him and he caught me, “You okay?”

“Mm-hm,” I managed.

His hands brushed the snow off me as he made his way around me, checking for injuries.

I was thankful for the cold as it gave me a valid excuse for the red flush on my cheeks, “Hey, Brooks?”

“Yeah?”

A shit ass eating grin broke out across his face, “I told you so!”

“Oh, fuck you!” I swatted him across the chest, “That was an act of God! You can’t blame my clumsiness for that one!”

“Maybe not,” he became suddenly serious, “But I would feel about a thousand percent better if you went back inside. I won’t be able to focus on the generator if I’m worried about you. Go sit down and get off that knee. Please.”

The pleading look in his eyes turned my damn legs to jelly anyway, so sitting down was probably a good option.

“Fine. I’ll go make some hot chocolate to warm you up when you’re done.” I felt guilty that he was outside in the cold when there was no actual reason for him to be.

He shook his head with a chuckle, “What is it with you wanting to warm me up today?”

I ignored the heat that rose in my chest as I responded, “You’re out here in the cold doing me a favor, I don’t want you to get frostbite, okay?”

“Okay,” he laughed, “Whatever makes you happy, Brooks.”

I looked back over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out at him as I walked back to the cabin.

Because I’m twelve apparently.

He always threw me off balance and made me nervous. I acted like a love-struck middle schooler around him. It was annoying really.

I’m not sure exactly when it started. Sometime during Liam and Madeleine’s engagement tour.

After their wedding, I decided to stay in Cordonia. Max had begged me to, actually.

Like I said before, Liam and I are good. We’re better off as friends, but he’s busy running a country so we don’t hang out as much as we used to.

I’ve developed close friendships with Max, Bertrand, Savannah, Olivia, Hana, and even Leo when he’s around.

And of course, Drake. But somewhere along the way, it turned into more for me.

But I’m afraid to tell him, afraid to ruin the friendship which means everything to me.

So, instead, I just turn into an idiot when he’s around.

I opened the refrigerator in the brightly lit kitchen and started taking out ingredients for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, bread for toast, butter, and some orange juice.

I sat everything out on the counter and then put the milk on the stove to warm up.

The hot chocolate was ready and breakfast was cooking when Drake came back in.

“What’s all this?”

“I’m making you breakfast,” I told him with authority, “It’s the least I can do after you drove all the way to fucking Lythikos for me.”

“For Max, actually,” he corrected me as he took the mug of hot chocolate I thrust into his hands, “I didn’t know you were here, remember?”

“Right. Still.” I gestured to the table as I opened up the cabinets looking for plates.

“Here, let me get that,” he sat the mug down and reached above me for the dishes.

“Thanks.”

“Sure, what else can I do to help?”

We finished making the food together and it was weirdly peaceful and domestic.

I’d never thought of Drake Walker as domestic before but I couldn’t deny that he knew his way around a kitchen.

“Oh, my God! This is just what I needed!” I said when we finally sat to eat.

I was starving.

“Yeah, it’s good!”

I lowered my fork and gave him a look, “You sound surprised.”

“I didn’t know you could cook, is all.”

“I have lots of hidden talents, Drake. You don’t know everything about me.”

I had been joking but the serious look he gave me sent butterflies exploding through my stomach and chest. “I want to.”

“What?” I heard what he said but I wasn’t sure what he meant.

“I’d like to know more about you.” He repeated.

“What do you want to know?” I was pretty sure I’d tell him just about anything.

“I don’t know…what made you decide to stay in Cordonia after…you know, everything...”

I thought about it as I chewed my scrambled eggs. After I swallowed, I took a drink of orange juice before answering, “Max asked me to stay.”

“But you’re not interested in him romantically?”

It was the second time he’d asked me about my feelings for Max.

“No,” I shook my head emphatically, “Max is like my brother!”

“So, why did you stick around?” He asked again.

“You really don’t know?”

“No,” confusion spilled across his face, “Should I?”

“I…” my heart was hammering so hard in my chest that I was sure it was going to beat right out of there.

“What?”

“I….”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I hope you know that you can tell me anything.”

The look he gave me was so tender and so hopeful and so full of meaning that I spiraled into panic mode.

“I have a confession! Max lied about the generator just to get you up here!” I blurted out in an attempt to change the subject.

Genius, I’m a freaking genius.

“Yeah, I got that.”

“What? How?”

“There is nothing wrong with that generator and the lights haven’t flickered once since I’ve been here,” he said glancing around the room, then back to me, “Why would he do that?”

“I think he wanted to get you and me alone together. He never showed up last night, he said he was coming today but I’m beginning to think he’s not. I swear I didn’t know he called you! I would never condone lying like that! I’m so sorry! He means well but-“

“Brooks! Brooks! Riley! Stop, it’s okay!” He pulled his chair around the table to sit next to me. Placing a hand on my leg he said quietly, “I’m not mad about it.”

I lifted my face from my hands where I had hidden it, “You’re not?”

“No,” he laughed softly, “I’m always happy to spend time with you. I thought you knew that.”

“I mean, yeah, when we hang out with all our friends-“

“Nope.” He shook his head.

“What?”

“I love my sister and I like Hana. Even Max and Bert have their moments, but I don’t come along on all those karaoke nights or game nights for any of them.” His voice held a tone I’d never heard before. His voice sounded the way I felt inside.

“Really?” I think I stopped breathing for a moment.

“Really.” He took my hand in his, “Now why would Max think we needed to be alone together?”

“Because…because….” I drew in a deep breath and decided it was best to just spit it out quickly and get it over with. If I died of humiliation, then I died of humiliation. “He knows I like you. I mean, like you, like you. Like more than a friend I mean…”

I tried to look away as a hot flush crawled across my neck and up my face, but he cupped my jaw gently between his thumb and fingers and turned my gaze back to his face, “I was hoping you did.”

“You…were?”

“Yes,” an amazed laugh slipped out of him, “I’ve been hoping that from almost the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

“You…you’ve thought of me like that for that long?” My body flushed with a warmth that wasn’t from the hot chocolate.

I watched in astonishment as he blushed, “I mean, yes, I was interested in New York, but you came here for Liam. But then…Lythikos happened and I got to actually know you and the more I got to know you, the more I liked you. I just didn’t think you were interested in me!”

“You grew on me,” I joked as I felt pure joy surge through me.

“Thank God!” he laughed, “It’s a Christmas miracle!”

The moment was interrupted by the ding of a text message notification from my phone that I had left on the charger on the kitchen counter the night before.

“Sorry,” I said as I got up to retrieve it. Swiping it open I read the text, “It’s Max, he’s definitely not coming and he says the roads are impassable now.”

“Can we trust him on that?” Drake stood up and walked to the French doors on the other side of the room that opened onto a small terrace off the back of the cabin, “Oh, wow, he’s not lying, come look.”

“Whoa,” I gasped as I joined him, “That’s a lot of snow!”

It was coming down hard and fast like someone had shaken the snow globe vigorously. Sheets of it poured out of the darkened sky.

“Well, looks like we’re stuck here,” Drake affirmed.

“I’m okay with that,” I giggled.

“Me too,” He said as he turned and wrapped his arms around me, “because now I can do this.”

His lips brushed across mine, gently, his tongue curling slowly around mine as his grip on my body tightened.

I sighed as I leaned into it.

Maybe I wasn’t going to murder Max after all.

[raisindave]

[Chapter 23] Seeing the World Through Ballistic-Tinted Glasses

Streaming daylight cast wandering light beams across your dark bedroom, an unwelcome intrusion to your crash landing site. Commotion in your peripheral dragged your sleeping mind into this new dimension, turning your aching neck to see your phone screen alight with an incoming call. For a brief moment, you lived in blissful ignorance of what had happened only hours ago. However, that moment had since slipped through your fingertips, shooting a twinge of spite and horror through your foggy mind. 

“Hello?” your voice came out as a husky groan. A searing headache surged through your mind like crashing waves. 

“Cricket, open the door, we’re outside.” That unforgettable Scottish accent sounded through the speaker. 

For fuck’s sake, Soap, today’s not the day. The last thing you wanted to see was any reminder of your likely forfeit role in the armed services. He’s probably here to let you down easy and hand over your files. He must have heard your hesitation and opted to pursue it, knowing you’re always the type to be easily swayed. 

“Today, y’old bat.” He added, hearing Gaz in the background bark a laugh. 

“Fine.”

The mirror that passed your line of sight on your way down the stairs would have elicited some sense of shock or shame if you had any remaining self-respect left in you. Phantoms of dark eye makeup left heavy rings under your eyes and wild hair pulled into a presentable, though far from perfect, ponytail. How did they even find your house address? The record you were given had all geographic ties redacted. That’s a thought better muddled under less urgent circumstances. One last check over yourself to ensure you have the major clothing groups in check and the doorknob was creaking under your palm. A sudden surge of intruding sunlight made your face contort into a cringe as you gathered the faces of two of your comrades on your doorstep.

“Heeeey Cricket,” Soap cheered, pulling you into a side-faced hug as Gaz raised his hand in a polite wave. “We wanted to bring you over a birthday gift before we ship out again.”

“Ship out without me? I’m hurt.” You joked, though subtly prodding for additional information about your questionable employment. 

“Nah, it’s just tactical training,” Gaz piped up, “I think it’s water rescue this time.”

“They chuck us in a fuck-off-cold pool, and we have to drag these mannequins onto a helicopter ladder,” Soap groaned, coming entirely into view to show an armful of flowers with the exact wrapping they sold at the convenience store down the street. 

You accepted the armful of slightly withered assorted flowers, sharing a kind thank you with the group. It’s impossible to tell if those two pairs of eyes staring back at you were those of genuine companions looking to share a birthday gift or the gaze of two colleagues who saw what you did in the dark. Your mouth pressed into a thin line, awkwardly patting your fingertips on the doorframe and sucking a sigh in through your teeth.

“Well… will you come in for tea?” Your voice was stern and calm, but every muscle behind your carefully constructed smile begged them to decline. Ever the oblivious ones, they happily accepted your invitation. 

Despite having an equally inebriated night out, probably out later than you, too, they had the nerve to look absolutely peachy. No dark circles, uncouth hair or waxy skin, just neatly pressed SAS tee shirts and those same lazy grins. Catching a nosey but curious side-eyed gaze from your neighbour as you ushered these living weapons inside your home, reluctantly. 

Be it from time spent away from home for so long or a genuine indifference toward hot drinks, you were shamefully unequipped to serve tea to two Brits. What kind of tea do they drink anyway? It definitely wouldn’t be this Christmas Sugar Cookie tea mix. A more significant concern overtook you, as your typically tidy and organized living space looked like the wreckage of an airstrike. A single thong that you had no idea where it had come from was quickly whisked between a couch cushion just in time for them to lazily stroll into your open kitchen. 

“I can’t help but notice you’re down one,” you asked, probing about Ghost’s whereabouts, hopefully at the bottom of a river. 

“LT was up before both of us. He went for a jog around the area and said he’d meet us at the tarmac.” Soap responded plainly, casually strolling through your living space as if it’s a fine art museum and he’s on a field trip that had been begrudgingly dragged into the exhibits.

“We missed you last night. Plan A of your birthday gift was to buy you a drink.” Gaz spoke up eagerly, resting his hands politely in his pockets, unlike Soap, who was plucking polaroids off your fridge. 

“That’s still on the table, y’know,” Soap corrected, eliciting a theatrical winge from you that made him chuckle.  

“Ehh, I don’t tend to stay out too late on my nights out,” You sighed, shovelling armfuls of empty cans and bottles into the sink, flurrying fingers whipping the filled kettle onto its base. 

The two were exploring your space, completely unabashed by your frantic cleaning. There wasn’t a knick-knack or picture frame that wasn’t astutely studied, flipping through music records haphazardly, making you silently cringe. Soap had the nerve to flip over one of the half dozen empty chocolate boxes, presenting it to Gaz triumphantly with a bewildered grin.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Gaz inquired, picking up a framed photo in a lacquered frame. 

"Is she hot?" Soap interjected, half-joking, or so you hoped. 

“She’s dead.”

“Ah, apologies,” Gaz apologized awkwardly, cautiously setting the frame in its original place.

“This must be the man of the house!” Soap hollered from behind you, taking bounding steps to press his nose to the glass of your goldfish’s tank. 

“Chupacabra!” Gaz concurred, stepping beside Soap to watch the thoughtless creature meander around its tank.

Having these men running loose in your house was like herding cats. They’re obsessively curious and are too courageous, or stupid, to have any sense of self-censorship. It was the last thing you could have wished for in the morning after a night out. On the bright side, at least their asshole friend did you the courtesy of knowing he wouldn’t be welcome. Still, it is pretty entertaining to see these supersoldiers gush over a literal goldfish. Days ago, these two were dropping out of a helicopter to raid a cartel yacht off the coast of Mexico and shooting down their armed guards with pinpoint accuracy. 

“I swear to God he just winked at me,” he howled, pressing a fingertip into the glass. 

“Soap, that’s impossible. They don’t even have eyelids.” You grumbled in response, pouring the steaming water into a trilogy of mugs. 

“Sure they do, how do you think the fucker just winked at me. I saw it clear as day,” he pressed.

“Don’t call my fish a fucker,” you huffed, stifling a bubbling laugh.

It’s always been so hard to stay mad at these guys. They’re kind, moderately considerate, and damn good storytellers. They could have easily stayed for hours, tolerating your tea, and you tolerating them fumbling over one another to share gut-wrenching horror stories of missions gone haywire. They weren’t bashful about eating up all the food in your fridge, too, eating up everything in sight. Before you knew it, the two soldiers were back out the door, and you found yourself not as weary as when they first arrived. 

Days slurred along, leaving you ample opportunity to spend time alone with your soul-crushing thoughts. It gave you time to digest the bile and hatred that churned in your intestines, chewing over every word that you could recall. Having those two lunatics eat up all your food was more of a blessing in disguise, as it forced you to come out of hiding and face the sunlight that didn’t come from your fenced backyard. Rattling carts and swinging fluorescent lights overhead, you found yourself oddly triumphant in buying more short-term shelflife foods like fresh fruits and vegetables. Now that you’re becoming increasingly confident in not being called into work any time soon, you can finally explore your cooking abilities again. Self-heating MREs and vacuum-sealed granola for months on end have a way of eroding your tastebuds, something you refuse to let the military strip from your soul. The exotic and flavourful dishes, for one, were still marred with a sense of dread, knowing these flavours were only the consequence of crossing an uncrossable barrier. 

Wrath translated into apathy, which dabbled into deep, agonizing sadness on your longest nights. The nagging thirst for knowledge and research is the only thing stopping you from clocking into a psych ward. Now that your first attempt to control your circumstances went so spectacularly wrong, the days just blur by. Stark white pages of case studies printed on the backs of your eyelids when you fall asleep. Coffee doesn’t taste the same since hopelessness and simmering wrath are forever lingering on your tongue.

Another afternoon spent with your legs dangling in the murky pool in your backyard, green waters a torrent of sticks and leaves, and you couldn’t help but mourn. It had been just over three months since your last notification from Laswell- from anyone. You weren’t even sure if you had a job anymore, and maybe your paperwork was lost in the mail. Being left in the dark is agonizing. Uncertainty seems to be the name of the game when it comes to the special forces. Birds had the gall to sing as sweetly as ever, mismatched to your vicious internal monologue, staring daggers through their white underbellies from the dingy poolside. 

Thoughts lingered on Chupacabra. The strange little glimmer of hope in your life. After all, he’s so happy to swim around his bowl, ecstatic to explore the same plastic leaves and ceramic cave. The fish is so excited to gulp up every food flake and carry on with gleeful optimism. If only you could find that same optimism. Ultimately, your first attempt to take control of yourself failed spectacularly, and maybe that was the universe’s way to slap your wrist. Having a pet is just no longer suited for your life. In the best-case scenario, you’re back at work, and the fish will be shipped to the next best owner for a few weeks. In the worst case, you’re looking for a new job, and the gleeful little fish will constantly remind you of the life you’re just never set to be content with. No matter how much of a rock that thoughtless little bundle of cells might be, that's no way to leave a pet.

Luckily for Chupa, the neighbour’s daughter was more than happy to take on the new fish, and the lingering frown couldn’t help but be overshadowed with triumph. If nothing else, that’s one good decision that’s come out of the last few months. Before you knew it, the weeks that passed had since dissolved your disgust in your inability to care for a literal fucking goldfish. That sweet boy deserves better than what you had to offer.

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Master List

[shadesofawe]

Here's how I kept stumbling over Neil Gaiman until it brought me to the madness that is this fandom:

It all starts with Terry Pratchett. I read and enjoyed a number of discworld books as a teenager in the late 90s. Fast forward to March 2015 when I read about Sir Terry's death. I decided to honor him by reading another of his books and checked what was available on my kindle (that I had just gotten for christmas). The first novel that I didn't already know was Good Omens. I was sceptical because it was co-written by (my thoughts then:) "Neil Gaiman? Who's that random guy? Never heard of him..." but I gave it a try. I laughed. I laughed harder. It made me think. Then laugh again. We had a good time, me and the book.

I was a parent to two smallish kids. I started a new job. I broke up with the spouse. I didn't get to read much anymore. But a few years on, I read an article mentioning Coraline (the movie) in a parenting magazine. My kids were the right age and we watched it. It was the right kind of scary. I didn't connect it with Neil Gaiman at the time.

I still didn't have much time to read and slowly started getting into podcasts and audiobooks. I listened to Neverwhere while cleaning house and loved it. I decided to remember the author's name. (I did not remember it being the second name on the Good Omens title page.)

On a flea market I bought a copy of The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide. I knew and loved Douglas Adams from my teenage years but hadn’t read him in English. I read the foreword and found it to be written by - Neil Gaiman.

In early 2019, a friend convinced me to buy tickets for an Amanda Palmer concert later that year. (She wasn't even familiar with her music but loved her for The Art of Asking.) In preparation, I started not only listening to her music, but reading all kinds of stuff about and from her on social media. Apparently she was married to apparently famous author Neil Gaiman. Hey, I knew that guy! My friend, with a degree in American literature, said "Oh yeah, he wrote American Gods." I read American Gods. I loved it. I listened to Anansi Boys. I loved it. (This needs to be said: The concert was gut wrenchingly fabulous. I cried. I cheered. I fell in love with Amanda Palmer.)

Mind you, despite Neil Gaiman already on my radar, in autumn 2019 I had managed to not know about Good Omens (the show). I was randomly looking for something to watch on Amazon Prime to distract me from, you know, „the horrors“. (Somehow I hadn't used it much for streaming before.) There was a show that looked bright and colourful and quirky. And wasn't that the Doctor Who guy? I casually started watching and the story seemed familiar... wait, I read that book! By Terry Pratchett and - oh shit, that's the same Neil Gaiman!

There was no casual watching. I binge watched. I rewatched. I made my kids watch. I made my mother watch two episodes when she came for a visit and then gifted her the DVD for Christmas. She loves it, she loves season 2 even more.

Anyway. It was only with the show that I really started 1) connecting the dots ("the one who wrote Coraline") and 2) digging into it, looking for more stuff. (Not only Neil's though. You all know the drill.) I have been obsessed before, but I haven't been in a fandom before. I like it. The Brainrot is still going strong.

What's the point of all this? The point is: Dolphins. Tha‘ s ma point. It’s  great to discover new stuff to like (books, music, movies, but also skills, crafts, arts,…). It’s awesome to discover stuff you might have liked much earlier in your life but somehow missed out on. It’s so much fun to obsess over something to the point it leads you to discover entirely different, new things. The point is: Share your excitement, be excited around people you like. At ~40y I found myself bonding more with my Mother over Good Omens. My kid became an avid Discworld reader. In return, I got introduced to Percy Jackson. Spread the joy, be excited together.

Whoever managed to read that far: If you like, please share an unexpected joy your Good Omens or Neil Gaiman obsession has led you to. I know, there are many examples. Just pick one. I´ll start: without following Neil Gaiman on tumblr, I wouldn´t have bought a ticket for the Magnetic Fields, and I would never have discovered the music of Darren Hanlon (who was support act).

[popcornpoppypop]

Rage, Rage Against The Dying Of The Light

Part 1

Eddie Munson X Female OC

Summary: Abby can't get over the loss of her love. It's not easy to forget when someone dies in your arms. Less so when they appear in your living room one night.

Author's Note: This is going to be a short series. I will warn that work is crazy, but I have it mapped out. It's just the getting it fleshed out I have to do. Anyway, I was feeling angsty and sad because I don't ever have a good Christmas. I apologize in advance. Please leave constructive criticism, I don't have anyone to edit this stuff so I could use the advice!

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Blood, gore, death, grief, swearing, depression, Dustin get's very sad

“I didn’t run this time.” Eddie gagged on the blood pooling at the back of his throat. Abby shook her head, tears streaming down her face as she clung onto Eddie like her life depended on it. 

“No. You didn’t, you saved us Eddie.” She sobbed. Dustin sat next to her, crying into her shoulder. 

“You gotta look after the little sheep for me.” Eddie’s voice cracks. 

“No! You’re going to! We just gotta get you out of here!” Dustin yells

“Nah man. You gotta say it.”

“...I’ll look after them…” Dustin’s body shakes with sobs. 

“Cause I’m actually going to graduate this year. We’re going to leave this town,  just like I promised you.” Eddie does his best to smile up at Abby, his lips torn, blood painting his teeth as it spills from the corners of his mouth. 

“You-you’re gonna take me to see the world. Just like we said. Get in the van and just drive the hell out of here.” Abby sobbed, holding his face in her hands. 

“It’s my year…” Eddie choked. His breathing was shallow and fast, a gargling came from his throat as he struggled to keep the air in his lungs. His brows furrowed, a look of fear crossed his eyes as he put up one final attempt to fight off the nothingness clawing at him. 

“Eddie! No! Please!” Abby screamed. Her words fell on deaf ears. Eddie’s eyes drifted, the light that once filled them was gone. Eddie was gone.  

“No! No!” Dustin cried. 

“You can’t leave me! You can’t leave me alone! Eddie, please!” Abby screeched, her voice ripping through her throat with raw jagged edges. 

The group of three teens came running around the corner to the horrific sight of Abby and Dustin wailing over Eddie’s body. A scene that would be stained on their psyche for the rest of their lives. 

“Oh my god.” Nancy whispered. Robin shook her head as the tears fell. 

“No! Dammit!” Steve growled as he started for the distraught figures. 

“Please, please! Please!” Abby screamed over and over, as if begging would sway death’s decision. Steve ran up to them, grabbing Dustin into his arms. 

“No! We failed! We failed!” Dustin cried. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay! I got you!” Steve held onto the boy tightly, Dustin clutched onto him sobbing. 

“We have….we have to go.” Nancy said, as she wiped the stray tears from her face. 

“Give them a minute, Nance.” Steve snapped as he gestured to the two people unable to keep breath in their lungs. Robing paced next to them, her hands gripping her hair as if searching for something to hold her to the ground. 

“How do we get him back?” Robin’s voice was strained and thin. 

“We…we-we can’t.” Nancy sighed. 

“What?” Robin stopped in her tracks in front of Nancy. 

“We can’t get him through the gate. There’s no way with just us.” 

“We can’t leave him here! Nancy, that's just cruel!” Robin’s body tensed with rage. 

“We don’t have a choice! We have to get out of here before anyone else gets hurt, we need to check on the others!” Nancy pushed past Robin to head towards the trailer. 

“Nancy! We cannot leave them like this!” Steve shouted. 

“Get them on their feet and once we get back we can tend to them. But we have to get out of here. We don’t know where Vecna is and he knows Eddie was here. He knows we’ll be here too.”

“I heard a lot shit about you being cold, I chalked it up to boys being jealous and girls being petty, but they were right. You’re a cold hearted witch.” Robin growled. 

“If keeping the rest of us alive is cold, then fine. I’m cold.” Nancy spat. 

“Just-just calm down! Give us a second.” Steve sighed. Nancy shook her head and marched back over to the group. 

“We need to go!”

“She isn’t wrong. We have to get you two out of here.” Steve sighed, putting a hand on Abby’s shoulder. 

“Steve, we can’t just leave him here! This is the last place he’d want to be!” Dustin was desperate to be heard. 

“I know, bud. I know. But…we don’t have a choice. He wouldn’t want you to get hurt because of him.” Steve squeezed Dustin’s shoulders. He would break down later, not in front of the kid. He needed him too much. 

“Okay…” Dustin sighed. 

“Abby…we gotta go.” Robin reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. Abby jumped away from the touch. 

“I’m not leaving him. Just leave me here with him.” Abby’s tears had turned silent, it had somehow made the scene more horrific. She laid her head down on his still, cold chest. She didn’t care if his blood stained her skin anymore, her hands were already covered in it. 

“Abby…We can’t leave you here.” Steve sighed. 

“NO! I won’t leave him! He’s all I have! Bury me with him, there’s nothing left up there for me without him.” Her voice unwavering, she buried her face in the crook of his neck with eyes squeezed shut. Maybe she was trying to imagine they were back home on the couch watching a scary movie, maybe she was hoping this was all a dream, maybe she was trying to find some kind of superpower to bring him back. 

“Robin, take Dustin and get out of here.” Steve sighed. Robin nodded and helped the boy to his feet as they slowly made their way to the gate. 

“We don’t have time for this!” Nancy’s voice shook. 

“Jesus, Nance!” Steve barked. Nancy bent down across from Abby. 

“Abby, you’re my friend. I know you’re in pain. I want to help you, you know that I do. But we need to get out of here. We need you to get it together, you can grieve once you’re back home.” 

“Nancy.” Steve looked at her taken back. He had never heard such blatant disregard for another person come from her before. Abby looked up at her, rage pouring from her eyes. 

“I could kill you.” She growled. She looked down at Eddie, trying to memorize every pore on his face. She grabbed the pick from around his neck and a ring from his finger before she wobbled to her feet. Steve held onto her as they made their way to the gate. Before they entered the trailer, Abby turned to look at him one last time. 

He laid in the dirt of the trailer park he hated, he swore he would leave one day. The carcasses of demobats scattered around him, a pool of blood framing him. All Abby could think at that moment was how she had failed him. 

“Eddie!” Abby sat up yelling, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat. She looked around the room, her room. She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, her body still vibrating from the bitter memory. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, testing her legs to see if they would hold her weight before making her way to the bathroom. 

She was desperate to make the nightmares stop. She wanted a good night's sleep.  She hasn’t had one since they returned. She woke up every night in a cold sweat, never feeling rested at all. 

The sun was peeking up over the trees, the clock’s red numbers alerting her that it was nearly six in the morning. She had to be at the cabin in an hour anyway. She decided to just get ready. 

Her hands gripped the wheel a little harder as she pulled up to the cabin. Nancy was standing on the porch with Jonathan. The big silver ring on her finger dug into her skin, leaving a red, irritated impression. 

“Hey, you’re early.” Jonathan smiled. 

“Couldn’t sleep, figured I’d just head over.” Abby said as she got out of the car. 

“We’re just waiting on Steve and Robin.” Nancy informed her. Abby gave a curt nod, avoiding eye contact as she walked into the cabin. The kids were all huddled in a corner chatting, while Murray and Argyle argued about some nonsense. 

“Hey, kid. Coffee?” Hopper said from the kitchen, Joyce gave a tight lipped smile. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Abby walked over and grabbed a mug, filling it and taking a long sip. 

“Honey, are you getting any sleep?” Joyce put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Joyce, don’t.” Hopper warned. 

“I’ll sleep when this shit is over.” Abby walked away. The door opened and Steve and Robin came in followed by the happy couple. 

“Hey, I tried to call you yesterday. No answer. You okay?” Steve asked. 

“Not in the mood for phone calls.” Abby sat in a spare chair in the living room. 

 “Right. Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“Of course she isn’t okay, dingus. Calling her everyday isn’t going to help either.” Robin sighed. 

“I’m just trying…to do anything.” Steve ran a hand through his hair. 

“Alright, everyone pay attention. We got some news about Vecna.” Hopper stood in the living room, commanding everyone’s attention. Abby sat forward a little more at the mention of Vecna. 

“El, has seen a glimpse of him.” Everyone’s head snapped to look at Eleven. 

“I saw him. He was hiding in a house in the woods. I’ve never seen it before.”

“So he’s alive in the woods? When did you see it? Was he wounded, what was he doing?” Abby’s heart raced. 

“Calm down, we’ll get to that.” Hopper hushed. 

“He was only a little weaker. Still too strong. The house was blue with a black door. I saw him there yesterday.” 

“Yesterday? Why the hell didn’t you call this last night then!?” Abby growled. 

“Abby. Chill out.” Steve put a hand on her shoulder, she shrugged him off. 

“We wanted to monitor the situation a little before giving you half of a story. Now, we have a plan to search the woods. We’ll go as teams- Abby?” Hopper stopped, watching as Abby grabbed the revolver that had been sitting on the kitchen table and walked out the door. 

“Abby! You can’t just go off all Rambo like that!” Robin chased after her.

“Everyone, just wait! We have a plan!” Hopper barked. 

“So do I! Kill the fucker.” Abby growled. 

“Abby wait! We all want him dead, but you can’t go alone. Just wait for us. We’ll go with you.” Nancy said. Abby stopped in her tracks, turned on her heel and march straight up to Nancy Wheeler and stood an inch from her face. 

“I don’t want you anywhere near me. I hate you and someone needs to tell you that you are a bad leader. You shouldn’t be the leader! You make mistake after mistake and now one of us is dead and one of us in a coma! You don’t actually care about any of us, you just like the power trip.” Abby growled. The whole group fell silent. 

“That is bullshit, Abby! Of course I care! If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be here! I have given everything to keep all of us alive!”

“Says the woman who looked me in the eye, as I held my dead boyfriend, and told me to ‘get it together’!” Abby spat, she was the picture definition of rage. She turned on her heal and walked away into the woods, determined to find the blue house. 

“Abby! Wait!” Robin ran after her. 

“Why do you gotta push it Nancy?” Steve sighed as he jogged past her. 

They three teens walked through the woods, searching for any sign of a blue house with a black door.  They had looked for more than five hours, their feet hurt and they were covered in sweat. 

“Abby, we should take a break. Head back to the cabin. You need to eat something.” Steve crossed his arms. 

“I’m not hungry.”

‘Well, we are. You can’t do this alone, let’s just go take a break.” Steve put a hand on her arm, gently tugging her to follow him. Abby didn’t have the strength to fight him. She begrudgingly followed. When they arrived back at the cabin, it was evident that everyone was still there. Abby wanted to run, she didn’t want to look at Nancy again. She feared she might tear her apart. 

“Smells like Joyce is cooking.” Robin ran inside. 

“Hey, I just…You know we’re here for you, right?” Steve stopped outside the door. 

“Steve, if you’re going to try and get me to forgive Nancy, it will not ever happen.” Abby crossed her arms. 

“No. No, I wouldn’t try to get you to do that. I’m having a hard time forgiving her myself. I just get worried about you sometimes.” 

“I’m fine.” “You’re not.”

“Well, unless you can resurrect people, there isn’t much you can do about it. Just tell them I will be back tomorrow morning. I can’t do the cheery group thing right now.” Abby ran down the stairs to her car. 

“Abby!” Steve threw his hands in the air. Abby drove out of there as fast as she could. 

She sat on her bed, a hot cup of tea steamed on her night stand as she attempted to read. She couldn’t get her mind to shut the hell up for five seconds to actually absorb anything. She threw the book across the room and face planted into her pillows. All she could see, everytime she closed her eyes no matter how long, was the image of Eddie  dead and covered in blood. She was having a hard time remembering what he looked like without a face painted red. All she wanted was to get over the image of bloody Eddie. 

A crash came from downstairs and broke Abby from her thoughts. She waited for another sound before making any decisions. There was another crash, something dropping on the floor. Abby grabbed the baseball bat from under her bed and made her way downstairs. She tipped toed, avoiding the stairs she knew creaked. She felt the adrenaline coursing through her veins as she made her way toward the noise. She came around the corner, bat raised and ready for attack. 

“Get the hell out of my house or I’ll beat the shit out of you!” She growled as a shadow covered figure appeared in her living room. 

“Don’t! I didn’t mean to startle you!” The voice was familiar. But it was odd, like two voices at the same time, and deep. 

“Who are you?”She growled. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

“Then show yourself.” 

“Promise me that you won’t go all nuts with the bat.”

“Absolutely not.” 

“Fair enough.” The figure moved closer, all the hair on the back of Abby’s neck stood on end. The figure stepped into the light, blood dripping onto the floor. Abby looked them up and down until the figure finally revealed their face. 

“No…”

“Yeah…” Eddie stood before her, much more pale and still covered in blood. She couldn’t tell if it was just his blood or something else’s.

“I-I lost it…I’m full blown crazy! I’m seeing ghosts!” Abby cried. 

“No! Baby, you’re not crazy! This situation is crazy! Please, just-just let me explain.” Eddie moved forward a bit. 

“How…I held you in my arms…I watched…I watched you die!” Abby sobbed. 

“I know. I did. I died. I don't know what happened, exactly. But eventually I woke up. I-I’m not the same, like there’s something wrong with me. But I’m here for real.” Eddie reached a hand out towards her. 

“I don’t understand!” 

“I think…I think it was the bats.” 

“You’re not…please tell me you aren’t saying you’re a vampire.” 

“It would explain the teeth and wings.”

“Wings?” Abby looked at him confused. Eddie sighed and stepped closer, turning to reveal two leathery wings protruding from his back. 

“Oh my god.” Abby stumbled backwards.

“Easy.” Eddie caught her before she could fall. She looked up at him, his eyes were still the same. Those brown eyes were unmistakably Eddie’s. 

“It is you…” She reached a hand up to cradle his face. 

“ As soon as I figured out what was going on I came looking for you, I promise. I couldn’t leave you like that. I’m so sorry, Abby.” Eddie sighed. Abby threw her arms around him, pulling him as close as possible and collapsing into sobs. 

“Don’t ever do that again!” She cried. 

“Never, never my love.” Eddie buried his face in her neck, her scent was so sweet, it was near intoxicating. 

“What do we do now?”

“I don’t know. But tonight, who cares. Tonight it’s just us.” Eddie smiled.