#anyway team minato makes me sad

[cerberussyndrome]

on catalysts

summary: meta not!fic about Team Minato being the big turning points in each others’ character arcs.

cw: canon-typical violence + child soldier-ing, canon compliant character death

Rin is Obito's, Obito (and before him, Sakumo) is Kakashi's. (Obito might also be Rin's, who knows. Minato's kind of a blank canvas in his early years.)

The boys fixate. The boys mourn. The boys idealize. The boys, to an extent, polish their memories into something that reflects what they need more than what the other person was. This comes with problems.

For Obito, Rin is the first person who believes in him and his dreams.

He's the Uchiha black sheep, the perpetually-tardy laughing stock of his graduating class. For fuck's sake, the kid loses to Guy because he's eating candy.

Rin is his best friend, his constant support. When he opens up about his personal and often-mocked dream of becoming Hokage, Rin's response isn't to laugh, or to tease, but to encourage him. Yes, she says, let's end the war. Let's change everything. She says, don't pretend with me. And he's in love with her, of course. He's young, in the middle of a war, and in love with her, and the intensity of those emotions felt like they stretched to encompass the entire sky. She is his most precious person. (They are going to survive the war, he thinks, they are going to win.)

And then the rocks are falling, Kakashi is falling, and it's not even a choice.

(He gives Kakashi his eye — you're a great jounin — like proof, like rebellion. Here is a thing that says I lived. His last request he spends on Rin: keep her safe. His last thought is only a quiet wish for more time.)

Obito wakes up in the dark. Half his body isn't his fucking body anymore, and he's imprisoned in some weird-ass cave with his creepy ancestor(?) and some inhuman plant-thingies. He can't move. He's a ninja and he can't move and his team probably thinks he's dead, and there's a war on. There's a war on, holy shit what if they die and he's stuck here in this fucking cave and he never even sees the sun again?

So he trains.

When he's tired, and lonely, he thinks about them — Rin and Kakashi and Minato-sensei. He dreams of them, even.

He gets out of the cave and he's running, he's running, his team is in danger, Rin is in danger, where the hell is Minato-sensei?

He comes into the clearing and the first thing he sees is Kakashi's hand through Rin's chest.

(When Obito was younger, when faith was a solid thing beneath his fingertips, he thought that life was good, people were good. Sometimes he looked at Rin, laughing, joyful, and tucked the sight of it away in his chest. It was a warm ember that burned bright even when there was shame in his stomach or fear in his throat. He screamed as the rocks fell, as his team ran for their lives and he was left behind in the dark. When he woke up in that cold cave, he warmed his hands on that memory of love and smiled.)

His eye burns. Like broken promises, like blood between his fingers, like the full moon overhead.

Rin is dead.

Rin is dead, his team's betrayed him, the whole world must've felt like it was ending.

Madara offers an alternate solution. Obito turns away from his childhood dreams, his childhood faith in other people — what good was that, was good was he then? — and embraces a dream world in its place.

Afterward, Rin is less a girl than she is a memento, all that was good in the world and all that he lost, proof that his theory is indeed correct. It doesn't matter, later, that Rin's death was her own choice, a sacrifice, an act of heroism. Everything that was good about Konoha was personal, for Obito, because everything that was good about Konoha was in Rin. In the coming years, Obito believes the entirety of the world is worthless, the entirety of the world is hell. There is nothing worth saving here.

In death, Obito turns Rin from a soldier to a shrine, as if she were the only thing untouched by the sins of the mortal earth.

—

For Kakashi, Sakumo is everything: not only his father, his precious parent, but the sum of Kakashi's expectations of the world. He is a clan child and a prodigy and there is never doubt that he'll become a shinobi — and the White Fang of Konoha is the epitome of a shinobi.

Then his father comes back, turns distant, turns cold, turns strangely, terribly sad. Kakashi clings. When that doesn't work, doesn't retrace time back to before, Kakashi trains. His father is everything in the world — Kakashi will make him proud if it kills him.

Then he comes home one day and opens the study door and his father's blood pools around his feet.

Afterward, he looks for something infallible to hold his faith.

(Sentiment led to his father’s fall. Conversely, a shinobi with no emotion would be the perfect tool. If Sakumo hadn’t loved his team, perhaps he’d be alive.)

Obito is the antithesis of a soldier. He's loud, emotional. He's the opposite of a shinobi, Kakashi thinks, and all Kakashi wants these days is to be the consummate shinobi (not like his father). He was never all that nice in the first place, given to honesty over flattery, and Obito stands in opposition to everything Kakashi is and wants to be. It gets under his skin. They argue. They compete. Kakashi beats him; thinks, there. Thinks, is that enough proof for you? Thinks, get your act together before you get us killed.

They take Rin. And Kakashi knows, deep in his gut, that this is it, this is his crucible, this is what he has been waiting for; this is how he will prove he is better than his father.

Obito says, The White Fang was a hero.

Kakashi tries to run. He tries to leave them behind, this wreck of a team that's always been a burden, but his shoulder twinges. He thinks of Rin, Rin's careful hands and cool chakra, thinks of Obito, his ironclad loyalty, thinks of Minato-sensei saying, teamwork.

He goes back. He loses an eye, gains infinitely more precious things in its place: trust and faith and being part of a greater whole.

The rocks fall.

The dust clears.

It is Obito in the dirt, Obito crushed and bleeding. Kakashi knows in his bones that it should've been him.

Obito gives him his eye. Kakashi swears in turn, gains purpose in this frenzied war other than the drive to survive and climb the ranks and bring glory to his name. At Obito’s grave, Kakashi can admit that he was wrong. The things he thought mattered — rules and records and his name decoupled from his father's — never had. He has a second chance now, and he won't waste it.

Rin jumps in front of his Raikiri, and there is something blank in Kakashi's head, something disbelieving. Then there's only darkness. He wakes up to white hospital walls and the smell of antiseptic. Even though his hands are clean, he can't get rid of the feeling of Rin's blood between his fingers, like grief, like failure, like accusation.

(What would Obito say to him now?)

(His father had been many things, but he'd saved all his teammates.)

A couple years later, war come and gone, Kyuubi come and gone, everyone who Kakashi loves is dead. In the mornings, he spends hours in front of the memorial stone, looking for atonement at first, then just something to ease the loneliness. In the meantime, Obito's turned from dead-last burden to aching regret — a martyr to friendship and misplaced faith. Kakashi polishes his memory of him into something unreal and perfect. Sometimes in his darker moments, he warmed himself with the shining memory of him. He spends his life trying (and failing) to live up to his own impossible standards.

Obito becomes the sum of all his regrets and mistakes and failures, everything he might've had if he'd only gotten over himself, if he'd only been better.

tl;dr In the process of becoming a villain, or something like it, Obito memorializes Rin, disregards everything she died for. In the process of becoming a hero, or something like it, Kakashi idealizes Obito, tries to embody everything he died for.

[minevn]

Spotify Playlists

So I'll probably end up releasing the spotify playlist's before the covers are done and before the playlists themselves are done, but I do want to get them out sometime before the year ends. Anyways I'll be taking song recommendations for the characters! The way the playlists will be set up will be "songs they listen to"-"Songs that represent them and their past/present"-"songs that represent their relationship with you" I imagine the Past/present to be the songs that are hardest to find mainly, partly because I've left their past in some kind of mystery, I haven't gone into each and every single detail because you'll figure that out in the story, but also I'm just having a hard time finding songs that represent some of their pasts(surprisingly its not common to hear songs about parents putting their children in a dog house/j) But if you have any idea's send them to me with your explanation, I'd love to hear it! Anyways I'll explain what kind of music they listen to and kind of a simple explanation of your relationship

Minato: So Minato listens to a lot of older music, like "The Beatles" and "Michael Jackson" Songs your grandparents would listen to, which makes sense for Minato considering he grew up with that music due to his grandparents raising him. He's pretty protective of you, he wants to protect you and keep you safe, I think romantic songs that could be interpreted with yandere undertones would fit. though there also doesn't need to be yandere undertones, for example I have "Big Jet Plane" by Angus and Julia Stone on his playlist rn.

Haruto: Haruto also listens to older music, but not exactly like Minato's older music, more like early 2000's music, I don't think he'd have a preference for upbeat or slower songs. Also I say early 2000's music cause that's the music I grew up with and is most nostalgic for but also it depends on what music you grew up with! So you can just send any song you grew up with. Other then that he probably listens to songs that would help him focus, so classical. I thinks songs about childhood friends(to lovers) would fit for songs his relationship with you section

Jun: Jun listens to probably pop music, just upbeat music in general, as well as like super cute music. So songs like "Cute" by Prod by Rose or "Macaron Moon" by YUC'e give a kind of Jun vibe. Songs about being clingy would probably go really well in Jun's relationship segment with you, as well as songs about liking someone for a really long time. Cute love songs as well.

Hoshi: Ah yes the only person who actually has a song that represents their past. Anyways I feel like Hoshi would listen to songs like "Singular" by Sanity Falls like metal, but also Mindless Self Indulgence songs(I do like some msi songs but I don't like the artist nor do I support them and Hoshi's the same) I'd rather NOT put someone like MSI on my playlists though so if anyone knows an artist who makes music kind of like msi without being an awful person please let me know! I feel like he'd also like more sad music though, songs you could dissociate to like "Blvd. Nights" by Team Sleep. Like not those slow kind of sad songs but like screaming in pain sad. Songs where the person singing isn't really sure how to show their romantic emotions, like "Despair" by leo. Those would fit well in your guys relationship segment, but also songs that would show his real feelings like without filter would be so cute, like just pure loves songs that like worship their partner.

Habiki: Habiki likes listening to classical songs. If he has to listen to songs with lyrics though, it would probably be the same kind of sad music that Hoshi likes listening to. But they mostly like listening to classical music. I kind of think that Habiki's relationship with you segment would be similar to Hoshi's, maybe more gentler though?? Like "Come Inside Of My Heart" by IV of Spades. Like Despair is really trying to push those feeling away and deny them and come inside of my heart is like Ok I have these feelings, let me embrace it but not be overbearing, I hope they realize my feelings.

Kage: Kage's just like me in the sense that he probably just listens to whatever he likes. If he likes it he likes it. Happy songs he likes, it makes him feel happy and calms him down. sad songs? He likes those too, sometimes it's nice to just cry. Video game music? Yes he loves gaming. I think songs about stalking would fit really well in their relationship with you. But also any songs about being too shy to talk to the person of their affections would fit.

Kei: Probably also listens to Classical music a lot. Something he can play in the background and especially while he's watching you, there's no words to cover up your voice or distract him. I really think like pure love songs would fit really well, songs where the singer is so very clearly in love with their significant other, like its so fluffy. Like "Baby I'm Yours" by Arctic Monkeys.

Yani: Probably listens to the type of music that would describe your relationship honestly. I think Hyperpop would be good, same with like weirdcore music(Preferably instrumental) But yeah mainly hyperpop though. Just pure yandere songs fit really well. I've also said it before as well but songs like "I'm so crazy for youuuu </3" by Rebzyyx is what Yani was inspired by(That song is fr the biggest inspo for early Yani) Maybe even songs about wanting to be someone different for someone else, like "I/me/myself" by Will Wood(WILL WOOD!! HES MY ILLNESS/j/pos)

Aki: I think Aki would probably listen to very similar music as Haruto, songs from your childhood. Honestly I imagine her to have a very similar music taste as my sister. I think she'd listen to Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski, Deftones, roar, Beach House, Alex G, etc(You'll see others when I add to her playlist) but my favorite idea for who she listens to would be enon!! I lose my mind listening to enon, I love them so much, totally normal about them and not frothing at the mouth. Songs that describe your relationship? I think childhood friends(To lovers) would fit as well, and I'll probably also put Girl in Red songs as well, Ik it's like wlw music but I think it could fit your and Aki's relationship no matter what pronouns you go by.

Other then Aki I would love yandere type songs for each of the characters! I don't really want a lot of duplicates though, so while "Yandere" by Jazmin Bean would be perfect for everyone I'd rather limit it down to like one or two people. Anyways feel free to request with any song as long as it's on Spotify :3 Just write the song, who it's by, which character you think it fits, whish section it should go in(Songs they listen to, etc, I don't feel like writing all that), and maybe a little explanation as to why you think it fits :3

[rin-enjoyer]

ok finally put my hands in the air and sat down to compile the team 7 sensei rin au timeline. subject to change but like. for now here it is ^_^

-obito doesn't push kakashi out of the way of the boulder. MINDNUMBING GUILT FOR THIS CHILD!!!! rin cares about as much as she did when obito was the one to die (not at all lmao)

-important side quest! minato's favorite was kakashi and when he dies he is sad. this sadness makes him sloppy and he ends up getting captured by iwa and killed for all of the war crimes. he deserved it <3

-obito: devistated rin: eh

-with minato and kakashi gone, the team is kind of... less important... obito and rin stop going on missions outside of the village as much and without the spotlight of Politics pushing rin to become a mednin in order to copy previous succesful team setups she starts persuing other interests which.

-rin: yay now i can do what i want!!! i am free to choose any path i want!! i don't have to be a medic if i dont want to be!! i can finally follow my dreams of-

rin: *remembers that she only dislikes being a mednin because she didnt choose it. and doesnt know what she Actually wants to do*

rin: ah

-she waffles around a bit. a lot. she never actually really settles on anything, and just sort of ends up becoming a very well-rounded guy.

-anyways meanwhile in grampy madara's spoopy cave kakashi is having a Bad Time. so is madara. he got like,, the WORST guy ever to enact his plan, on account of kakashi's stupid single-minded loyalty to konoha, and he doesnt even have a sharingan

-convoluted plan to murder obito in a way that hopefully convinces kakashi to help out and gets madara an eyeball so that the plan can actually be fulfilled: activate

-obito gets the three-tails and rin hunts him down because she doesnt have anything better to do and when she finds him he's all "rin we gotta find kushina!! i can't go back to the village yet otherwise explodsions :C" and rin does some quick mental math and decides that that seal is NAUGHT getting fixed.

-rin kills obito there and then in that cave, annoying madara and the kiri ninja and obito if he was not dead. this is a Big Moment for her because she makes a Decision!! she views this as "a sliver of her true self shining through" for a while which.. is complicated but i'll get back to that.

-madara throws a rock at her. or something. and knocks her out so he can at least go scavenge the eyeballs but he only gets one before uchiha search and rescue shows up (obito was NOT disregarded by his clan disregarded uchiha do not get put on the Special Superspeed Pathway to Become Hokage team fight me)

-they see rin, unconscious, and obito, missing an eye and only recently killed, and put two and two together and get five and go "awwww D: girl almost died protecting his body from that mysterious shadow guy who just disappeared. even if she failed her effort means a lot."

-so rin, despite being kind of filler on the politics team, getts thrust into the limelight as a handy-dandy link to mend village relations with the uchiha. "girl who protected her teammate with everything she had..." ect ect. which is funny

-as a sign of good will the uchiha give her obito's remaining eye, which is a surprisingly good fit for her jack of all trades style.

-orochimaru is the last candidate for hokage so danzo n hiruzen start really scrambling to get his public reputation up. what better way to do this than to give him a child? orochimaru is studying sharingan anyways, right? he's not unhappy with it and it once again consolidates political power and anko increased his likability by that much, so like? another student? yeah? yeah?

-anko is REALLY good for rin because she'll suggest something and rin (who still just goes along with a lot of stuff at this point) agrees. and anko is the first person to realize that rin is NOT a sweet polite little girl she is messed up in exciting new ways. orochimaru is a close second.

-anyways orochimaru's poking around with bodies and stuff and the sharingan letting her take techniques and not having a convenient mask to pull on eventually leads rin to the realization that she doesn't HAVE a "true self" girrrll who would have thought....

-meanwhile kakashi is having Cave Time and through a lot of wheedling and no social interaction besides madara kakashi is convinced to do the infinite tsukuyomi For Konoha. a la danzo. (danzo sakumo hiruzen kakashi essay In Progress lol)

-rin, new, healthier self image acquired, goes on to be Very successful. orochimaru becomes the hokage, rin rotates between his private guard and missions, and everything is dandy!! once again danzo keeps his flirting with hiruzen out of the politics and the uchiha massacre doesn't happen cuz Rin tm and stuff is greatttt!!!

-also naruto is born With incident but its. fine. its fine. kushina dies jiriya who is visiting dies to seal kurama in naruto and its like. sad but who cares amiright

-so right as naruto sasuke and sakura are about to graduate, the politics machine starts working, and like. to Consolidate Power rin is the obvious choice for sensei.

-she goes "ughhh fine ok" and does it and like. its fine. its good.

-...until wave happens!!!!! :D

-fun fact! rin does love people! shes just weird about it. and sometimes she doesn't notice.

-she does beat zabuza and haku on their first meeting because she hasn't been depression napping her way through the past two years.

-but it's still a nasty wake up call, yaknow? those kids could have died! and she would have been... sad? like actually sad?

-rin still preforms on occasion, but she's weird about it in different ways now. and she's pretty sure that she actually likes these kids???

-which is weird and novel but eh. whatever. she'll do her best to teach them apparently.

-sasuke becomes a medic and. this is long and i need to wrap this up but i will elaborate on narrative signficance of this later lol because its there

-kakashi finishes collecting tailed beasts much slower because he keeps passing out (rip) but he does get there eventually

-rin is dodging hokage-ship so that she can keep messing around with her kids. yes they are jounin shut up she's not taking care of them they are her BESTIES. (important distiction that isnt even a lie. she is NOT their mom she is NOT their older sister she is the Cool Older lesbian who taught them the tricks of the trade and now they party together. a ten year age gap is not as big as you guys think it is. you can be friends with old people.)

-anyways eventually kakashi comes for naruto. it goes badly because he is perpetually exhausted and team 7 is perpetually hyped and also no one's even gne missingnin. AND his one cool trick gets countered by rin who can do the Same Cool Trick

-oh also he goes by sukea. hehe sometimes fanon is correct.

-any other version of rin would have gone ballastic but this rin scrunches her face and goes "ok so he is kind of a nohara in the same way that i am kind of an uchiha." thats not whats going on but ok i guess

-rin also kills him (now she is two for two) and madara never even got revived and then everyone just kind of. "that was weird"s the whole situation and goes home.

[skykashi]

I'm about 30 hours late in saying this, but I can't tell you just how perfect this was 🧡. Over the weekend, I was actually trying to wrangle about eight or nine different plot ideas/oneshots for assorted fic I've been wanting to write for months now. I had thought I might try to use some for Kakashi Week, except none of what I had written really fit the prompts to my liking, and I was just feeling overwhelmed by too many choices (not to mention wanting to finish my current projects, too!).

When I read your comment, the BIGGEST lightbulb went off in my head for how to use team min + time travel to connect all the ideas in a fun and logical way. It was such a rush that I just sat down and typed and edited and drafted for a while, and I forgot to come back to tumblr to tell you THANK YOU!! Not just for pointing out how funny and cute and entertaining this whole thing would be, but also for reading and laughing at my dumb tags and everything! I love seeing your reactions, I'm glad we seem to have a similar sense of humor, and I always look forward to checking your blog and reading your posts. (1/2)

I'm gonna make a blog update about this a little later on, but I just thought I'd give you a bit of a headsup that I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from tumblr/ pulling back from updates and reblogs for a while. I have a short queue lined up, but over the last few days, I realized that tumblr has been absorbing a lot of my energy, and I want to reserve some of that time and energy for creating other stuff. (Writing more is definitely one of the other things). So if I'm not checking in as frequently, don't worry; I'm not losing interest in writing posts or finishing fic or anything. Just doing a bit of rebalancing.

Also, fyi, I spent the first half of yesterday re-reading the first arc of "Abandon." I kind of fell back in love with it after feeling a lot of hesitation and distance from it all summer. So that is where all my writing energy will go next, is to continuing part three, and then finishing part four + five afterwards. After that, probably continuing "Up Against The Wall," and after that, the new one with the Team Minato time travel in it. That's the plan, but I have no idea how long it will take or if I will stick with that order (hopefully not too long). Anyway, thank you for reading, and cheering me on when I'm tired of writing, and going with me and my Team Minato on their sad rollercoaster of emotions. I really appreciate it so much!! 🧡🧡🧡

Shzbvsbjsks I'm so glad you found my silly idea inspiring 🥰 it always strikes me how much Kakashi's personality changed from his kid version to his adult version so I always wondered how team Minato including kid Kakashi would react when they see adult Kakashi shenanigans 😂

It's always sad when one of my favorites blogs isn't as active as usual but it's also very understandable and it's a good thing too that you will get to focus more on writing so hopefully this will mean more new chapters will be coming 👀❤️❤️

And I can't even tell you how much I've missed "Abandon" so reading that you are falling back in love with it is such a great news to me, I can't wait to read everything you have for us, I know all of them are worth the wait 😍❤️

[aoyama-division]

Luis's Thoughts on Shizuoka Division

Hojo Kanon

"...Another former scientist for Chuohku. You know, with so many people either leaving or being killed off, you'd think that would cause Chuohku to wake up and start making some changes. But no, they're content to still do things the same way." Luis shakes his head, a lit cigarette in his mouth.

"But anyway, this woman reminds me a lot of Okada-san from Shinagawa, along with a bit of that Russian scientist woman from Minato. If you asked me who was the worst out of the three of them, I couldn't answer you. ...At least not without lying."

Aichi Reika

"...I suppose you've already heard from Tomi that this woman used to live here in Aoyama? Well, it's true. I never thought she'd have the guts to kill her own spouse. That's honestly something I could see either of my parents doing. It's sad to think that I can actually see that occurring..." Luis mumbles something before lighting another cigarette.

"But anyway, when I heard she got kicked out of Aoyama, I wasn't really surprised. But something told me this wasn't the last we'd all seen of her. A woman like her doesn't stay down easily. ...And what do you know? I was right."

Kito Sakura

Luis glares harshly at Kito's photo before lighting the thing on fire, and using it as a match to light another cigarette. He looks at the screen, a glare still on his face. "I never thought I'd find a woman who I could possibly despise more than that CEO from Shinagawa. And let me state now for the record, I do still hate her. A lot. But this isn't about her.

"This puta perra has been harassing shopkeepers and restaurant owners all across Japan. At least Samatoki and his ilk stick to Yokohama, but this guarra actually had the gall to try to force me to try to pay protection money! I told her goons to get the hell out of my store while they can still walk. They muttered some threat, but I wasn't paying attention.

"A week later, one of my best cooks landed in the hospital with a broken leg and arm! I wasn't stupid. I knew who was behind this, but I didn't do anything. If that was all she'd done, that wouldn't have been so bad. But one day, after I was coming back from shopping, I saw that perra's escuadrón de matones harassing my Abuela!" Luis chomps hard on his cigarette.

"At that point, all I could see was red, and the next thing I knew, those bastardos were lying in pools of their own blood. I didn't see hide nor hair of them after that, but if you think I've forgiven this perra or her brood for what they've done, you are sadly mistaken. I do not care what you do to me. If you have a grudge against me, fine." The chef then glares heavily at the screen, his face turning red as he starts speaking in Spanish to illustrate how serious he is.

"Pero si te atreves a amenazar o hacer daño a mi abuela, ¡te mostraré un lado del infierno que ni siquiera el Diablo, él mismo, ha visto!"

Silent Tragedy

"I don't really care about facing this team, though I won't run away from a fight if that's what they want. ...But if we do get a chance to face them, I'm going to show Miss Renegade what happens when you mess with my family. I don't know what her situation is, and I don't care. You got family issues, that's your problem, but you will not, and I mean, will not, threaten mine!" Luis then stomps on a cigarette as he departs from view.

[dreamersscape]

In Which I Attempt to Wreak Havoc Upon Panharmonium's Heart. Or Something.

Because I am an awesome friend, clearly, and possibly making people sad/verklempt is definitely an excellent way to (belatedly 😔 but I did start before the 15th!) celebrate Kakashi's birthday, right? ;)

I will admit up front that this is nowhere near as deftly structured and compiled as your Kakashi fanmix, @panharmonium, but that is precisely why I'm not even going to try to organize all these songs into individual playlists. Yet. Plus, I have a tendency to over-explain so this way I can better expound on why certain songs remind me of certain characters. Sorry that I sorta went a little... overboard?

Everything--except a few that aren't available on spotify, I'll link to them directly--can be listened to HERE.

What I'm Looking For - Brendan Benson | Kakashi → I may be a little biased with this one because it fits SO many of my favorite characters so well, somehow, but there's just something about the upbeat/tongue-in-cheek musical cues/delivery of lines such as 'I visit hell on a daily basis, and I see the sadness in all your faces' that just feels so Kakashi to me.

Happy Ending - MIKA | Kakashi → This is presumably a breakup song, but I enjoy it so much more in a non-romantic context (and the song itself isn't really boxed in with overtly romantic framing, so I appreciate that!). Anyway, some very important instructions IMO for listening to this with Kakashi in mind: everything before the bridge is about Kakashi up through his ANBU years, but when you get to the 'little bit of love' refrain, picture Kakashi meeting Tenzo, and then becoming Team 7's sensei, opening back up to Gai, adopting all the other leaf genin, assimilating Sai and Yamato into Team 7, and it keeps building with Kakashi gaining more and more loved ones to fill the hole in his heart, and then cry tears of joy with me! Just my personal suggestion. :D

Light - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team 7 (/all his kids)

with every heartbeat I have left I will defend your every breath

→ I've seen this song used for ship vids and I'm all ????? about that because this is clearly a song about the love you have for your child! But I suppose if one of my favorite pastimes is aggressively re-interpreting love songs in non-romantic ways, I can't begrudge the opposite process... too much, lol.

Heroes - MIKA | Team Minato

your blood on me/and my blood on you/but to make you bleed/the only thing I wouldn't do/.../I wish there was a way/to give you a hand to hold/'cause you don't have to die in your glory/die, to never grow old

Long Lost Friends - Transit | Kakashi & Obito

how long/do you have to say that/this is not the person I used to know/you are not the person I used to know/.../because lately, you've been looking at me like you've seen a ghost/and isn't it obvious who's been missing who the most

→ What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck! What the heck!

Against the Voices - Switchfoot | Kakashi

'cause everybody knows/the hardest war to fight/is the fight to be yourself/when the voices try to turn you into someone else

Out of the Darkness - Matthew and the Atlas | Obito? Yamato? Kakashi? Itachi & Sasuke? Naruto & Kurama? → I'm a bit undecided about this one, or if I should just not worry about choosing one character and just let myself feel all the "inner darkness is not an innate characteristic, Danzo! They're just grieving/in a lot of pain, and they can find their way out of that dark place!" feels.

Save A Place - 1969 | Kakashi & Sasuke

so I'll keep away and save a place for you/and I'll only make the same mistakes as you/.../when all the blood all over your fingers is dried up/the pain will still linger

→ I'm not uber-confident in picking out really fitting Kakashi & Sasuke songs yet, but I hope this hits a lot of the right notes for you. :)

Thrive - Switchfoot | Kakashi

I'm always close, but I'm never enough/I'm always in line, but I'm never in love/I get so down, but I won't give up/I get so down, but I won't give up

→ See, it says right there that he's never in love! Not the crux of the song, and he's not always 'in line' either, but still! :)

Disarm - The Civil Wars | Kakashi & Obito

the years burn, burn, burn

→ I don't know how I keep collecting fictional relationships that work so well for this song, but literally every single line of this song hits so hard for these two?? Will never recover from this. (Also, I usually disregard when 'my love' pops up in the last line of the chorus, as the mood dictates. :) It's pretty incidental as is IMO.)

Renaissance - Paolo Buonvino & Skin | Sakumo & Obito & Kakashi & Naruto

let me show you one last time/let me show you one last sign/you can find it/I can't say that I can change the world/but if you let me, I can make another world for us/let me suffer all for you/make this vision all brand new/we can fight them/I can't say that I can win it all, [but] come with me and I will make my words stand tall

→ Okay, this is a very odd choice given that it's actually the theme song for a different show about the Italian renaissance (if you happen to see this, Mirjam, don't hate me!), but this could be IT! The "those who break the rules are scum, but those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum" anthem that's all about building a better world based on these principles! I really hope our sharing-a-brain talent translates to listening to this song in this way because I am feeling SOME KIND of way about this!

The Lament of Eustace Scrubb - The Oh Hellos | Kakashi → I really liked the song you chose from this album for your fanmix, so now I've feeling a tiny bit too on-the-nose with my choice, but I guess this is just a Kakashi album all around. 😆

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route | Kakashi(+ Obito) & Sasuke(+ Itachi)

memories as heavy as a stone/ I am empty, in my end you are my beginning

This Is Home - Switchfoot | Yamato & Kakashi (+ Team 7)

and now, after all my searching/after all my questions/I'm gonna call it home

→ All finding-where-you-belong songs are actually Yamato songs. True story!

Faust, Midas, & Myself - Switchfoot | Obito

you have one life left to leave/you have one life left to lead

→ Could this be any more perfect for Obito? It even has creepy-old-man!Madara!

Pluto - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

Always Gold - Radical Face | Kakashi & Obito/Sasuke & Itachi/Naruto & Sasuke

all my life, I've never known where you've been/there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend/and I heard you say, right when you left that day/does everything go away?/yeah, everything goes away/but I'm going to be here till forever/so just call when you're around

→ ...but mostly Kakashi & Obito because 'there were holes in you' 😭😭😭

Lemon Boy - Cavetown | Yamato & Kakashi → You already know the delights of this song of course, but I gots to be comprehensive. :)

Everywhere I Go - Lissie/cover by Sleeping At Last | Kakashi & Team Minato

danger will follow me now everywhere I go/angels will call on me and take me to my home/well, these tired eyes just want to remain closed

→ I chose the Sleeping At Last cover for maximum angst, 'cause sometimes it be like that.

Uneven Odds - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

maybe your light is a seed, and the darkness the dirt, in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth

→ ...just like an earth style: mud wall :') Okay, okay, bad jokes aside, the seed metaphor of course makes me want to associate it with Tenzo, but this is clearly a Kakashi song!

Twenty-four - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito

life is not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago/and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago/still I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/you're raising the dead in me/I wanna see miracles/to see the world change/wrestled the angel for more than a name/for more than a feeling, for more than a cause/I'm singing spirit, take me up in arms with you/and you're raising the dead in me

I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) - John Rzeznik | Kakashi

and how can they say I never change?/they're the ones that stay the same/.../they can't tell me who to be/'cause I'm not what they see/.../and their words are just whispers/and lies that I'll never believe

→ Yeah, I might've accidentally imprinted on Treasure Planet as a 14 year old, and then someone made sure this song would forever live in my heart by making a fanvid of it with my favorite character from my robin hood show, but! He's still here!

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa (feat. Charlie Puth) | Kakashi & Obito/Team Minato

how can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?/everything I went through, you were standing there by my side/and now you gon' be with me for the last ride

→ I am being very unoriginal here, and there are in fact already fanvids made for these relationships set to this song (along with many others featuring different Naruto relationships), but I don't think I'll be able to rest until I translate the movie playing in my head whenever I hear this song now into an actually watchable format. After all, they have come a long way from where they began, and I intend to make that both as touching and ironically hilarious as possible!

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers | Kakashi → Admittedly, I got this idea from a magnificently crafted fanvid done for my robin hood show, but I genuinely think it would be really interesting to make something similar for Kakashi centered around the time he technically died but got better? I don't know how to explain it, but I think it fits quite well.

30 Lives - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi & all the people he's loved and lost → can be listened to here.

A Pound of Flesh - Radical Face | Kakashi

then today I wake up feeling easy/and find I'm on more familiar roads/I got a darkness wrapped inside me/but now it ain't so hard to let it go/so keep a candle burning in the window/I'm almost home

Hold Back The River - James Bay | Kakashi & life getting in the way of him being with his precious people (you may be sensing a pattern here) → @the road of life: Let! Kakashi! And his People! Hold! Each! Other!!! Also, 'tried to square not being there, but think that I should have been' is absolutely about Sasuke's defection and Kakashi adding it to his long list of undeserving self-recriminations.

The Fall - Imagine Dragons | Yamato & Kakashi → 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Shadowman - K's Choice | could work equally well for Kakashi or Obito, I think

any time tomorrow a part of me will die/and a new one will be born/any time tomorrow/I'll get sick of asking why/sick of all the darkness I have worn/any time tomorrow/I will try to do what's right/making sense of all I can/any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light/I just might/.../and doesn't it make you sad?/to see so much love denied/see nothing but a shadowman inside

Paint - The Paper Kites | Kakashi & Team 7

still there's a wound and I'm moving slow/though it don't show, though it don't show/I've got a hole where nothing grows,/how little you know, how little you know

→ A song for just how much Team 7 doesn't know about their sensei.

Always Find Me Here - Transit | Kakashi → ...most likely at the memorial stone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (why am I like this)

Taste - Sleeping At Last | Kakashi

it’s bittersweet, it’s poetry/a careful pruning of my dead leaves/it’s holy ground, a treasure chest/I'm on my knees and only scratch the surface/like fists unraveling, like glass unshattering/we’re breaking all the rules, we’re breaking bread again/we’re swallowing light ’til we’re fixed from the inside

Help - Hurts | Yamato & Kakashi

take my hand and lead the way/out of the darkness and into the light of the day/.../'cause I know what I've been missing/and I know that I should try/but there's hope in this admission/and there's freedom in your eyes/.../I can feel the darkness coming/and I'm afraid of myself/call my name and I'll come running/'cause I just need some help

→ NO ONE TOUCHE ME.

Your Soul - RHODES | A mish-mash of Kakashi & Tenzo and Rin & Obito & Kakashi and Gai & Kakashi vibes? → So like, 'oh you know when you're alone/I'm holding on and on and on and on/to your soul' reminded me of your 'when you're all alone...the only thing you really think about is dying' 'but when there are two of you...the only thing you can think about is surviving.' and now kakashi - who just saved his life - is asking him 'did you want to die' and yamato is saying 'no' there are two of them and yamato wants to SURVIVE. tags as well as Gai's steadfastness as a friend, and 'I just wanna hold your hand' made me think of Rin's "Well then, I'm just going to have to connect the two of you." while holding their hands, and the sunlight/'soul shine'/'your light' motif is just A Lot in this song!!

7 Years - Lukas Graham | Kakashi → Alright, yeah, there are already approximately a gazillion pre-existing Naruto AMVs for this song and even one or two focusing on Kakashi, but they don't capitalize on all the angst possibilities in many of the lyrics or reach the fluff potential of 'will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me [when I'm old]' and I cannot abide that!

Putting The Dog To Sleep - The Antlers | Kakashi & Sasuke → Okay, on one hand, this song is One Big Oof. But I do like the (potentially odd) way I've conceptualized it for Kakashi & Sasuke? Like, the first half is Kakashi going through all the tragedies in his life and getting lost in ANBU, but then in the second half it transitions to him wanting to prevent Sasuke from having to be as alone as Kakashi once was and they can face life together? It makes me emotional!

Trust Me - The Fray | Kakashi & Obito

I found a friend, or should I say a foe?/said there's a few things you should know/we don't want you to see/we come, and we go/here today, gone tomorrow

→ There are a few lines that call Tenzo & Kakashi to mind, but mostly it's Obito & Kakashi.

The Lightning Strike (What If This Storm Ends?) - Snow Patrol | Kakashi → I had to, right? My mindscape is a little murky/scattered about what specifically I want to think about when I listen to this, but obviously it has to do with Kakashi in one way or another.

Kettering - The Antlers | Team Minato(???) → Honestly not sure if this will make any sense, but yeah, vague team minato vibes?

Swans - Unkle Bob | Kakashi & Obito/Rin/Minato/Kushina/Sakumo → They should be by his side always!!!

Looking Too Closely - Fink | Kakashi → I honestly feel rather ambivalent about this one too, but I can't deny 'truth is like blood underneath your fingernails/and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself/looking too closely' always destroys me because... well, you know. I love suffering. :(

Souvenirs - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Obito & Rin

wolves - Switchfoot | Kakashi

snowfall for the battlefield/roses for the father's sons/see them red on the ground:/bleeding/when the revolution came/we were more than hungry men/we were hoping for more:/bleeding/end. begin again./all of my world is collision and spin/hope is a world that has yet to begin/awaken, oh sleeper/awaken, oh sleeper/a new day begins

→ I wanted a wolf-related song too. :)

PRODIGAL SOUL - Switchfoot | Obito, Itachi, & Sasuke; just all them wayward Uchiha boys

Coming Down - Dear Euphoria | kid!Kakashi & his relationships

the shell/that I wore/it wasn't for fun/it wasn't to make you/stick around/it was for survival/it was what I've learnt/it was for the sun/.../our love has grown/our love has flown

→ Another one I'm a little unsure of whether it makes sense outside of my head or not, but I like the vibes?

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons | Kakashi & Yamato? → Hmm, can I maybe submit this as a Kakashi-&-Yamato-just-need-to-mske-it-through-this-war-so-they-can-have-a-bright-bright-future song?

All Is Well (It's Only Blood) - Radical Face | Kakashi → ...he said as he's bleeding out or after he's thrown himself in the line of fire protecting someone he thinks is a better person than himself...

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons | Kakashi

when the hour is nigh/and hopelessness is sinking in/and the wolves all cry/to fill the night with hollering/when your eyes are red/and emptiness is all you know/with the darkness fed/I will be your scarecrow/you tell me to hold on/oh, you tell me to hold on/but innocence is gone/and what was right is wrong

→ In a similar vein to the previous song. But goodness gracious! Were they NOT straight up describing Kakashi here?

Amaryllis - Shinedown | Yamato & Kakashi → Just tossing this one out there, not sure if it will make sense or if it's a reach... but I like it?

lost 'cause - Switchfoot | Kakashi & Sasuke

are we a lost cause?/or are we just lost 'cause/we won't be the future we refuse to see?/and if I'm your lost cause/it'll be your lost 'cause/you won't see me as I am, the possibility/that I'm not the enemy

→ 214 feels. (And before and after that, but yeah.)

Through the Ghost - Shinedown | Kakashi & Obito

so many silent sorrows/you never hear from again/and now that you've lost tomorrow/is yesterday still a friend?/.../everything that mattered is just/a city of dust/covering both of us/did you hide yourself away?/I can't see you anymore/.../did you hide yourself away?/are you living through the ghost?/did you finally find a place/above the shadows so the world will never know?/the world will never know you like I do ... like I still do

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men | Kakashi → Just Kakashi having little chats with his ghosts, totally the most heartwarming way to conclude this section. 😅

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit | Kakashi → Just kidding! Here's a slightly less morbid song for the Most Tired Boy Of Them All.™ (Random aside: this was my customary song to listen to on my walks to 8AM organic chemistry classes; I found it strangely soothing! On a different occasion, after a particularly long day for her, one of my roommates didn't have the energy to make it to her bed but nevertheless requested a lullaby from us. So I obliged by playing this song for her, but she didn't seem to gain the same peace of mind from it as I did. 😄 I know it's not my place to propose anything like this, but it does amuse me to imagine bookends!Kakashi in these situations, even though it's not OChem classes he has to go to.)

General/Miscellaneous:

Rise Above It - Switchfoot | Ensemble

don't care what they're telling me/we can be what we want to be/.../just because it's law doesn't mean that it's fair/.../don't believe the system's on your side/.../the curse is spoken/the system's broken; rise above it

→ I mean, how could I not think about Naruto when this song also has the lines 'hear us sing tonight like the last night on earth/we will rise like the tide/like dead men coming back to life/we are rising, rising'? It's fun to be literal sometimes!

Doorways - Radical Face | Allllll the traumatized children → Someone has to put all those tragic childhood flashbacks to good use, after all.

Ghost Towns - Radical Face | take your pick of Itachi, Sasuke, or Post-Kannabi-Bridge!Obito

there's no comin' home/with a name like mine/I still think of you/but everyone knows/yeah everyone knows/if you care, let it go

Blinding Light - Switchfoot | Hey, Hiruzen? You may have coined the phrase, "children are the king" but I don't think you truly understand it... (insert Princess Bride joke here)

hey boy, don't believe them/we're the nation that eats our youth/.../still looking for the blinding light/still looking for the reason why/still looking for the sun to shine/all my life I've been living in the darkest night/still looking for the blinding light/to take me higher and higher

Brother's Blood - Kevin Devine | EVERYONE → ...but certainly so much you could do with Itachi & Sasuke, Obito & Kakashi, Shisui & Itachi, even Hashirama & Madara! Sakumo's teammates turning their backs on him and saying 'I don't know one thing about my brother's blood'?!?! There are SO MANY ideas I have for this song! It gives me chills and makes my brain scream.

We Need Each Other - Sanctus Real | Ensemble → Already mentioned this one to you, but I have to include it here for thoroughness' sake!

Whispering - Alex Clare | the Hidden Leaf's lost/ostracized children/orphans

who will care for the falling?/who will care for the falling leaves?

So this is probably a strange concept to come up with and apply to this song, but the 'whispering, whispering, whispering' parts brought Konaha's virulent gossiping/passing judgement about others and often kids they don't even know problem to mind, too, and yeah?

The World You Want - Switchfoot | Ensemble → If I were to make a fanvid set to this song, I would definitely keep a broad focus, but I can't deny that the lines 'you start to look like what you believe, you float through time like a stream, if the waters of time are made up by you and I, I could change the world for you, you change it for me' FOR SURE has strong Obito & Kakashi/Kakashi & Tenzo vibes.

Red Eyes - Switchfoot | Ensemble, but definitely many dashes of Uchihas 😄 → I would like to thank Masashi Kishimoto for creating a world where red eyes are a Thing of Importance so I can one day make a fanvid using this song in not just the tired or teary bloodshot-red eyes way, but in a very literal sense too.

TAKE MY FIRE - Switchfoot | The Will of Fire → 'Cause I think I'm sooooo clever. 😄

Above The Clouds Of Pompeii - Bear's Den | various parent & child relationships → This obviously derives from the not-caring-about-your-female-characters problem, but it always gets me that all the single parents in the Naruto universe are almost invariably the fathers! I guess sometimes you can safely guess that the mothers are still alive/exist, but either way we hardly ever get to see them. :/ The one exception I can think of right now is Kurenai, but maybe I'm forgetting another conspicuous single mother. Anyway, I don't know if this helps or hinders more a potential Naruto fanvid for this song, but regardless, it still gives me feelings?

Who We Are - Switchfoot | Ensemble → It just makes me inordinately happy that the chorus for this song starts with 'who we are (in the fever of our youth)', you know? :D

Brother - Kodaline | all the friendships we can stuff in here and then some → Quite a well known song I'm pretty sure, but I love how many dynamics one could showcase in a potential fanvid of this. And, not gonna lie, 'oh brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos' deserves to be used in some sort of Tenzo 'n' Kakashi or Team Ro fan creation!

Special Bonus:

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine | Kakashi & Obito → I'm not sure whether I would have realized how well this works for Kakashi & Obito on my own, funnily enough, but then I found this fanvid of it (containing only scenes you've seen naturally!) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so well done!

[sunnywritesstuff34]

Illusions

(Yayyyy. Another one. It’s been a while, sorry. just wanna preface this by saying that like... I usually don’t really give a shit about Obito, but I figured this was a natural progression of the story and I kinda wanted to try and dive into Obito’s psyche a little so. here we go. tell me what you think. @ghostjellyfishheart here’s the next chapter lol. pls mind the tw’s)

TW and CW for: MAJOR UNREALITY, seriously stay safe, Obito is kinda spiraling a lot, grieving, struggling with morality, drinking, alcohol, less then stellar coping mechanisms of all kinds, don’t do this kids, child death, ghost child, dead kid, you don’t like... see her die but Rin is very much not alive, references to suicide, implied suicide, the uchiha massacre is its own warning, murder, its bad. its just. its just bad. did I mention unreality? a lot of that, death of a family member, obito is having a hard time with feelings, probably dis@ssociation, pretentious symbolism, scratch that, definitely dis@ssociation

Obito Uchiha is upset. 

And that is, frankly, ridiculous. Obito does not get upset. What does upset even mean? Is he sad? Mourning, perhaps? Or is he just worried? Either way, its borderline impossible. He shouldn’t be feeling anything. Obito doesn’t feel anything. Sure, he plays at it, when he’s Tobi. He feigns and pretends, he’s good at that. That is what he is, that is all he is. To Itachi, he is Madara. To Konan and Nagito, he is Obito. To everyone else, he is Tobi. Obito has taken on mask after mask after mask on in his life, both figuratively and literally. Sometimes he doesn't know where Obito ends and another begins. Obito does not feel anything, not for anyone that isn't Rin. Never for anyone that isn't Rin, and he left her behind a long time ago. And yet this boy, this child, has him reeling somehow. Has him… well, like before, the only word he can use is upset. He is rattled. And it has been so long, so long since he’s felt anything at all, that he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to fix it. He kept seeing Sasuke in his head, kept remembering memories from years ago when he thought about the kid being gone forever. He remembered the first few years Itachi brought Sasuke to the compound, he remembered spontaneously discovering his obsession with tomatoes by accident with Kisame (who would not stop laughing. He had just never seen anybody. Put an entire tomato in their mouth. And Sasuke did it like it was the most natural thing in the world! Kisame wouldn't shut up about it for at least a week). He remembered helping the boy train with his newly forged chokuto, he remembered the grim determination towards his family and how much it reminded Obito of himself, he remembered all of it. And none of that should have mattered, because it wasn't real. None of it was real, the next world would be. The next world with Rin and Kakashi and Minato-sensei still alive, a world without… without Sasuke. Or any of the other Akatsuki. And that was what he wanted. He was sure that was what he wanted. Only in his room could he show the weakness tightly coiled in his stomach. But there was a knock on his door and it made him straighten up, instantly putting the mask that he just took off back on his face. He walked to the door and opened it, only to find the older Uchiha brother staring back at him. Obito blinked. 

“Itachi-san. What are you… what are you doing here? I- uh… come in.” Obito and Itachi sat down at the small table in Obito’s room and stared at each other awkwardly. “So… how can I help you?” Obito tried to ask, unsure of whether to say it like Tobi or just let his guard down and talk like himself (whoever that was). Itachi cleared his throat. 

“You are the only person in this godforsaken place that has sake that's worth a damn,” Itachi explained calmly. He looked away. “It has… been a long week.” Obito could tell the truth in that statement just from his cousin’s voice. Itachi sounded exhausted, and the perpetual mask of indifference had begun to slip when his little brother went missing. The two of them looked at each other and came to an understanding. For the next few minutes, there was no talking. Obito grabbed some glasses and poured his strongest sake out for the both of them, and they drank in silence. They only actually picked up a conversation once they were both drunk enough for the awkwardness to melt away. 

“He’s likely not dead,” Obito commented bluntly. Itachi only sighed. 

“If he is, I have no idea what I'd do,” Itachi grumbled casually, like it was an ordinary thing to say. “Certainly wouldn't stick around here. Probably follow in Shisui’s footsteps.” Obito only nodded, knowing better than to pry on that particular bit of insight into Itachi’s life. They were silent for a few more minutes before Obito spoke again. 

“The massacre,” Obito started. “I was long gone by the time it happened. What… are you and Sasuke really the only survivors as the rumors say?” Itachi nodded, throwing back another glass. Obito thought about that bitterly, about his grandmother who wouldn't have been spared. Itachi sighed. 

“Right. I've never really talked about this with anyone, and Sasuke and I don't speak about it much. You know how sharingan awakening works, yes?” Obito nodded, mind involuntarily flashing to his own experience. 

“Well I made some genuine friends on my genin team. It was the first time I ever had any friends.” Obito closed his eyes and took another sip. Friends, sharingan awakening. Being crushed under a boulder with your crying teammates looming over you. Thinking, no, don't cry, it doesn't hurt. It really doesn't hurt. I can't feel anything, please don't cry. Watching a particular white haired individual (a traitor, that traitor) desperately try to save you. Losing a part of yourself, a part of yourself you didn't even know you had, and giving it to someone else. Forever living with that, knowing that your other eye is somewhere, because you can still feel it, but not knowing much else. The aching absence that grows from that. He opened his eyes again. “I watched them die, right in front of my eyes. That awakened my Sharingan, and when I went home, my father congratulated me. He congratulated me. It was a nightmare and he was proud. I don't know, that always stuck with me. But anyway,” Itachi paused to drink more sake as the room spun. “Sasuke’s eyes woke during the massacre. I didn't get there in time. He watched our parents die, managed to hide in the closet and keep quiet the whole time so they didn't find him. I got there in time to stop them from killing him, and realized his sharingan had awakened because of everything. I wasn't able to save anyone, but I was able to save him, and that's all that matters.”

“I understand,” Obito replied evenly. “I know what it's like to be too late.”

Itachi’s eyes slid over to him. “Yeah well… whatever. The Uchiha had been planning a coup for a while. Danzo, he gave me a choice. Either kill everyone myself and have Sasuke be spared to live happily in the village. Or, to let them kill everyone, Sasuke included. I didn't… I refused either option and tried to get there but I was too late. They killed everyone in one night, a bunch of Anbu who were deployed for the massacre. Like I said, Sasuke managed to hide. I knew that Danzo would be after us, so I grabbed Sasuke and we got the hell out of dodge. He didn't speak for months afterwards. Not a single word, other than screaming during his nightmares. It was probably a little selfish, but I… I missed him. There was no more ‘Itachi, look at the score I got at the academy!’ or ‘Itachi look, look I learned a new move!’ There was just… nothing. He was so vacant. If he's dead- if he’s dead after everything we’ve been through, I don't- I have no idea what I'll do. We have to find him, and we have to kill the people who took him away from us. We have to.” I know, he wanted to shout. I know, I feel the same way, but I don't know why! Itachi left not long after that, stumbled back to his room, and Obito fell asleep in his armchair. That night he had a dream, a dream of Rin. it had been years since he dreamed of her, usually they were memories and bits and pieces, but this was different. He opened his eyes in his dream to a dark plane filled with ink, darkness stretching in every direction. It was a frequent setting he found himself in, usually the dream would be about him sinking into the oily substance until he couldn't breath. But this time it was low enough to wade in, his feet touching the ground, whatever that was. In the middle of the expanse, there was a bone white skeleton of some creature he didn't recognize, and Rin. He staggered towards her, and she hugged him without a word. In dreams like this he was always covered in blood, the Obito from years past. But now he was just him, and he was maskless.

“Just what have you gotten yourself into now, Obito?” she asked, and it sounded just like her. It wasn't her, he was fairly sure of that, he was dreaming for god’s sake, but it sounded like her. It seemed like her, and that was enough. “It's okay to be worried about the kid,” she said, running fingers through his hair while he tried to calm his breathing. 

“It's not real,” he managed hoarsely. “None of it. Nothing in this world is real, I shouldn't feel anything. So why… Why do I…”

“Does it matter if it's real?” she asked. “It feels real. Maybe it is, Obito.”

“Obito is dead,” he whispered. “At least the one you knew- Obito doesn't exist anymore.” Rin only shook her head, looking past him at nothing at all and smiling sadly.

“I don't believe you,” she said evenly. “You're still Obito. No matter how many names you take or how many masks you wear, I know who you are. And I think you do too.”

“It's not real,” he tried again, weakly. 

“If it's not real, then why do you help Konan with the dishes? If it's not real, then why do you want to save Itachi’s brother so badly? Why do you make plans for Nagato’s dream in the supposed next world when you don't have to? Why do you stick around Deidara to make sure he doesn't get killed? Why do you help Sasori with his puppets? Why, Obito?”

“I can't be Obito,” he muttered quietly. “He’s dead. He died with you.”

“He is right here. He is sitting here with me. You're still you. You'll always be you.”

“B-But…. But Madara-”

“Madara is dead,” she said with finality, shaking her head. “Madara is a dead man now. You are the only thing that can bring him back, and you have a choice.”

“I've never had a choice.”

“You do now. Madara isn't here.”

“This is all just an illusion.” She smiled sadly. 

“I'm an illusion, Obito. Your world is not.”

His dream didn't fade out from there. One second he was sitting in a dark dreamscape with his dead friend, and the next he was in the Akatsuki lair, laying in an armchair, sitting up and gasping for breath. His back hurt and his neck was aching from the weird position he dozed off in, and Obito could already feel the nausea of an inevitable hangover coming on. Still, he sat up properly, stretching his neck and running a hand through his short hair. Itachi was probably passed out in his room or throwing up already, and Obito had a hunch that he’d be feeling the same way pretty soon. He looked down at the floor and forced his eyes to focus. He didn't have time for a drunken hallucination within a drunken hallucination. But when he turned his head, he felt himself recoil and raise his hands to his face. The orange plastic from the ground winked back at him. Obito had taken his mask off. And now it was cracked. 

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I’m big sad this week can I please get some kakairu fic or HC I don’t care I just wanna talk haha but it’s kakashi falling in love with iruka because he’s just so thoughtful to kakashi specifically. Say, kakashi is always late because he’s got to eat and sleep and water his plant and feed the strays behind his complex and he’s (chakra) exhausted the works.

No one ever notices (besides gai ofc but they’ve been friends forever) but then he meets and becomes friends with iruka. And iruka notices. Iruka will take a subpar report from kakashi after hard missions and just give him a Pat on the shoulder and a smile, he will drop by with extra bentos to keep in the fridge and take off without a second thought since he was dropping off bentos (that he bought we know that man can’t cook) at narutos anyway. Gets kakashi a water globe for his plant so he doesn’t have to worry about him on missions.

But the thing that really does it for kakashi the holy shit I might love this man moment is when kakashi is dragging himself home after a super hard mission that went over by weeks and he goes to feed the strays behind the complex and finds iruka feeding them hunched over in this dirty dark alley feeding dogs what looks like his dinner for the night shift and.. is that the new icha icha from the release he missed in his hands?? Iruka got it for him since he was gone and knew how much kakashi likes them and that’s it kakashi is in love now thank you

//here’s to a hopefully more enjoyable, relaxed week coming up :)

AO3

It wasn’t unheard of for a mission to go on longer than it had been planned. Things happened, changes had to be made to the attack plan, sometimes the team. There were a variety of reason’s for a missions to take an extra few hours, or a day or two more.

But a week?

Only the worst missions went overtime by a week.

The one’s where the information was poor, or sometimes even completely wrong. Where the mission lead had to stop and fix up the plan in one or two areas, but had to start completely from scratch.

And just his luck, he had been the mission lead. The poor bastard who had to rethink the mission from scratch when it turned out that they had been lied to by the person who had come to them wanting ‘help’.

What they really wanted, apparently, was a chance to present some unsuspecting leaf shinobi to Some IWA shinobi in waiting.

Luckily for them, Kakashi was quick to realize that things were out of place and even quicker to come up with a new plan. One that only needed him and Gai, and an extra week of waiting time.

It worked in the end. Of course it did.

After waiting for the enemy to finally let their guards down, Kakashi and Gai were able to make their way into the camp they had made for themselves and get the scroll they had been sent for. One they had thought was just used as a trick to get them there, but found out through some careful spying on Kakashi’s part did actually exist.

Now they were home.

Aching and tired, but home.

Seeing Gai off, Kakashi headed straight for the little ally behind the apartments he lived in. Nothing called out to him quite like a nice shower, and a long nap in bed, but he had to check up on the strays before then.

Poor things hadn’t seen him all week, and he’s certain there’s no one else who feeds them. Most of the other jonin simply pick a favorite and take them into their apartment, or leave food out for them on the window ledge.

Kakashi took care of the rest of them.

“Here we go,” hearing a familiar voice, Kakashi stopped just before the entrance into the alleyway, unsure why exactly his heart was beating so fast now. “Eat up. You’ll get to see your favorite tomorrow. He just had a long mission and he needs some rest. But I have no doubt he’ll be here to see you as soon as he can.”

Peering around the side of the wall, Kakashi felt a warmth spreading in his chest when he saw Iruka. Sweet, kind Iruka. Kneeling down and pouring dry food into the bowls Kakashi had set out months ago.

"He does a lot for this village, you know," Iruka continued, and Kakashi couldn't help but linger and listen. "One of Konoha's top Jonin, so he's always going on missions to protect the village, gather information, help people out. There's a lot for him to do."

Leaning his shoulder against the wall, Kakashi smiled to himself.

For a few months now Iruka had been helping him out. Noticing little things about him and providing information or objects to make his life just a little bit easier.

A water bulb for Mr. Ukki so he didn't have to worry about going on missions and killing his only plant.

Bento boxes that he promised he bought from a store when he noticed Kakashi hadn't eaten that day. Not because he couldn't cook for himself, but because sometimes life just got too busy. There was soo much to do that often he'd find himself forgetting to feed himself while he tried to finish mission reports, or plan out training exercises for his students.

Kakashi hadn't thought about it much then. Simply thanking Iruka and moving on with his life.

But now, standing here listening to Iruka gush about him to the strays while he fed them in Kakashi's absence. Kakashi can't help but feel something deep inside of his chest.

Something he can't quite explain. It's warm and fuzzy, and it makes his heart skip a beat whenever Iruka continues talking, but he doesn't have a word for it. It's not something he has ever felt before.

"So be nice to him, hmmm?" Iruka continued, chuckling when one of the dogs barked. "I know he has to be gone a lot, but I'll take care of you when he's out of the village. I promise."

Poking his head around the corner, Kakashi chuckled when the dogs saw him and immidiatly started to bark, forgoing their food to run over to him instead for pets.

"K-kakashi," Iruka stood up, clearly caught off guard by Kakashi's sudden appearance. "I...how long were you standing there?"

"Mmmm, long enough I think," Kneeling down, he started to pet each of the dogs while keeping his eyes on Iruka. "I didn't know you made a habit of looking after Jonin's life responsibilities while they were gone, Iruka-sensei."

"I-" It was sort of cute seeing Iruka all flustered. with wide bright eyes and fingers that wouldn't stop pulling at his uniform sleeve. "I don't usually..."

"Well, I need some rest," Giving the dogs one more head pat he stood up and smiled. A warm, soft smile hidden under his mask. "But, since you've done so much for me I should pay you back."

"Oh, no you don't have to," Iruka waved his hands in front of himself franticly. "I was just- i wanted to make sure-"

"How about dinner?" Kakashi had a calm look on his face, and his voice was as bored sounding as ever. To an untrained eye, he likely looked like he was simply inviting a friend to go out.

Internally, though, he was freaking out.

His heart was hammering in his chest, going so fast that it actually sort of hurt. His stomach was a mess of knots and butterfly's, and his brain was going five hundred miles a minute. Thinking up all the ways Iruka could reject him, and screaming at himself for even making the offer like a love sick idiot.

Love.

That was the word he had been looking for earlier.

Minato-sensei had described the feeling to him years ago. When he was younger and confused about the way Obito acted around Rin, or why Rin was always trying to get close to him.

He was in love, and out of everyone his heart could have chosen, it went with Umino Iruka.

"That sounds nice, actually," Iruka whispered, glancing down at the ground while running a hand awkwardly through his hair. "Umm, where would you like to..."

"I'll make it," he smiled, now determined to make the best first impression. "My apartment, tomorrow evening. And don't worry about the dogs, i'll make sure to feed them before dinner."

He doesn't wait for a response. Disappearing into a whirlwind of dust he make's his escape. Desperate to get back to his apartment and collapse onto his bed and scream into his pillow like a twelve year old whos crush just called them 'cute'.

[hatake-no-sharingan]

Time travel AU (Part 2: Minato’s promise)

AU Summary: The world is falling apart, and the Sage of the Six Paths sends Naruto back in time to find his parents and collect the thing that will help him and Sasuke save the shinobi.

Link to part 1: HERE

Part 2 Summary: Naruto tells his parents why he’s come back in time, and asks them to help him save the world. Y/N notices there’s something off with everything that’s going on, but Minato steps up to keep his family safe.

Characters in part 2: Y/N (as Naruto’s mom/ Minato’s wife), Minato and Naruto

Warnings: None

A/N: This is for @itsao-mine, my amazing reader. I’m so sorry to keep you waiting, beautiful. Hopefully you’ll like reading it as much as I’ve loved writing it. I hope everyone else enjoys it too <3 Thank you for being so supportive of my writing.

Minato’s promise

Minato’s mouth dropped wide open. For a moment Y/N thought she imagined the whole thing, but she wiped her eyes and both Naruto and her husband were still in front of her. Minato’s initial shock had transformed into his signature smile.

The resemblance between the boy and him was uncanny. They had the same yellow hair and expressive blue eyes, as well as his easygoing manner. At the same time, he spoke in the same distracted but cheerful way Y/N did. He had the same expressions as her. There was no denying this was their child. But how was it possible?

As if reading his wife’s mind, Minato spoke.

“Naruto, this is very weird so you’d better have one hell of a good explanation on how the same baby she’s carrying is also sitting here all grown up, being a full fledged shinobi.”

Naruto’s stomach made a noise, revealing his hunger.

“We can talk about it over dinner, you both need food to restore yourselves, and so do I, remember I’m still eating for two.”

Y/N served three generous bowls of ramen and had her two ninjas take a seat at the table.

“Wow mom, you really do know how to cook. This is so tasty, maaan I love it. Did you know ramen is my favorite food? Have I mentioned it yet?”

“Well it’s also my favorite food. Don’t I cook it for you often? In the future I mean.”

“Ummm, not really” he laughs nervously “anyway, let me tell you what’s going on. It’s kinda messy really, and a hard story to tell, but I’ll try my best”

Naruto does try his best to summarize everything without getting much into detail, and his parents seem to catch on a bit. Naruto is surprised that they actually believe every word he says and seem keen on helping him, which is a relief, really, because he’d be lost without their support.

“So you’re telling us that in the future, 17 years from now, an evil princess who mysteriously fell from space ages ago comes back to life so she can plant a tree which enslaves all of humanity and feeds on their chakra and the only way to stop it is if you and Sasuke Uchiha, who just so happens to be the cute baby I saw a week ago in my friend Mikoto’s arms, seal her. For that you need to collect a special type of chakra from the Kyuubi because it’s exactly released at the time of your birth and a scroll from the Uchiha Clan which Sasuke is trying to find at this same time, and that’s why the Sage of the Six Paths gave Sasuke the power for one trip in time with his, what did you say it was called?” Says Y/N.

“Rinnesharingan”

“Right, rinnesharingan. So did I understand correctly?”

“Yes you have it all right. So will you let me attend my own birth so we can save everyone?”

“If it’s for the sake of the world I will, right, yondaime?”

“Of course, my love” says her husband.

“Thanks mom, you’re truly the best”

“Come here, let me hold you for a bit, you must be exhausted”

Naruto moves close to his mother, and she embraces him in a tender way he’s never felt before. She strokes his forehead and tries to reassure him that she and his father will help him through it all, but a deep fear settles in her heart.

After spending a few moments like this, and noticing her son is exhausted, she prepares the guest bedroom for him and carefully tucks him into bed.

Once Naruto has fallen asleep, Y/N settles in her couch with a cup of tea in her hands.

“Minato, I’m scared”

He sits on the couch next to her and starts massaging her tired shoulders. His hands are a balm on her fearful soul.

“It’s okay, I’m here for you. I’ll protect you three.”

“I’m worried, for the baby, and for Naruto. I know they’re the same person, but still I worry for them both.”

“I know honey, but think about it this way, if Naruto from the future showed up here, that means the baby will be alright” his warm voice tranquilizes her.

“Still, there’s something off with all this. I mean I do believe him, he’s our son, and I’m oddly happy to have met him. To know that this baby will become such a strong willed shinobi. He’s everything I’ve dreamed our son would be, but this feels weird. He didn’t know who I was. And he makes comments that make me think he hasn’t spent much time with us, Minato”

He knows. He noticed it too, but he didn’t want to say anything about it either.

“Hey, it’s alright.” He planted a kiss on her bare neck “Maybe he didn’t recognize you because you look different in the future. We’ll age, princess. As much as we hate to admit it.” He chuckles kindly, trying to brush off his own concern.

“Yeah I guess. He’s a distracted kid too. Guess whom he got that from?”

Minato laughs gently and encircles his wife’s waist so his hands reach her tummy.

“I’ll take care of my beautiful family. There’s nothing more precious than you. It’s a promise” They fall asleep on the couch, tangled in a loving embrace. Y/N knows her husband’s word is sacred, so she knows she’ll be okay, but there’s a part of her that still feels uneasy.

……

The next day they avoid talking about the topic, and instead, Naruto decides to enjoy the feeling of having his family together until his birth comes up. He helps Y/N do even the most basic tasks, and takes care of her protectively. Minato, Y/N and Naruto fall into a nice, familiar routine for the rest of the week, and Naruto even goes with Minato a couple times to the Hokage office and helps him sort through the day’s work.  Time flies by, and he wishes he could stay here longer, but before he knows it, the day before his birth arrives.

He’s alone with his dad in his office, they’re settling everything so they can return to their house where Y/N is waiting for them with a delicious dinner.

“Hey dad, can I talk to you before we go home? There’s something you need to know. I, uh, well I haven’t had the heart to say it in front of mom, but there’s a reason I didn’t recognize her when I came here.”

“We’re going to die, aren’t we?”

Naruto’s stomach shrinks as he wishes he had another answer to that question.

“Yeah”

“I’ve had the feeling, that something might go wrong. That’s why I’ve had Kakashi follow Y/N, taking care of her. The sandaime and I planned the birth, so she’ll be surrounded by security, but I guess there’s no way to avoid it right? I’m just very sorry we don’t get to watch you grow up. Y/N has been very excited since she found out, having a child has lifted her spirits so much.” There’s a deep sadness in his eyes, but he brushes it away, replacing it with a soft chuckle. “But, hey, let’s worry about death later. Now tell me, did you grow up happy? Were your needs covered? Did you have love surrounding you?”

Naruto was taken aback by his dad’s inquiry, he hadn’t expected that he’d care more about his wellbeing than the news he’d just given him. Warmth spread through his chest and a thought crossed his mind I couldn’t have asked for a better family.

“Yeah, you could say my life has been nice, dad. You and mom have nothing to worry about.” His cheeks felt a bit hot “I eat well and I have many friends.”

“Tell me about it kid, I want to hear everything. It seems this may be one of our few chances.” Minato reached out and ruffled his son’s hair.

“Well, where should I start? Oh! I know, this will make you happy. Kakashi is my Sensei. We’ve been on many adventures together. He’s the captain of my team. I’m there with my two best friends, Sakura and Sasuke. Well, things with Sasuke have been rough, and that’s maybe another topic, but he’s the first person who deeply, truly understood me, and I’ve never given up on him. I never will.”

On the way home, Naruto keeps telling him stories about how he grew up, and Minato enjoys every single one of them. When they get there, he acts as if nothing had happened, and Naruto knows, he’s trying to find a way to protect Y/N.

[topsyturvy-dream]

Title: Temptation

Scene Explanation: This scene happened during the night you and Jiraiya reconnected with each other. Jiraiya was the one you’ve been crushing on during your childhood years, and eventually pining for as you both grew up, but due to a fall out, your life took a different turn than what you expected. Now that you’re face-to-face again after many years, will you both give in to the temptation and act on the ‘”what could have been”?  

Artist’s Notes: I know that I said that this will be posted in December 2020, but then so many unexpected things happened and I only finished this art in early February this year. And then, more unexpected things happened once again, so it took so long for me to write the full background story (under read more). And so, here we are! 😂 Anyways, I’m so excited to get started on my next one, which will be about Minato! So stay tuned! 💕

OC Background Story:

You are a niece of Sarutobi Biwako, the Third’s Hokage’s wife, through your father’s side, and the cousin of Dan Kato through your mother’s side. When you were younger, you were placed in a promising team; however, because of a mission gone wrong, your sensei and one of your teammates were killed in action, and your third teammate decided to quit becoming a ninja. While trying to find a new team for you, Biwako insisted that Hiruzen take you in as a temporary member of his team, and thus, that was how you met and became fast friends with Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru.

 Growing up, you have always had a small crush on Jiraiya. His vibrant personality and unique looks caught your eye and your heart. When you reached your early adult years, your attraction to him was reciprocated, which resulted in a “friends with benefits” relationship. Late night pillow talks and increasing quality time spent together made you develop your feelings for him deeply. But even though Jiraiya is a frequent companion of yours whether in bed or in the streets, you know that his heart belongs to Tsunade. Unfortunately, you are not all kind. Seeing that Tsunade and Dan had an attraction to each other, you were the main reason that they ended up in a romantic relationship. After all, who better than to introduce your best friend to your cousin and fully support their relationship other than you. Maybe then, you can have Jiraiya; all is fair in love and war, they say.

 Your relationship with Jiraiya came into question during an important alliance mission. Visiting the foreign nobility’s court to discuss the alliance terms, one of the noble’s sons had a deep attraction for you. Throughout the mission, he would do everything in to woo you, send you beautiful flower arrangements, expensive jewelleries, and even try to accompany and show you around the country. As the time came for you, Jiraiya, and your team to go back to Konoha, the noble’s son decided to see you off the village, but not without inviting you to come back and stay so that he can properly court you.

 Back at the village, Jiraiya would frequently tease you about the noble’s son, especially when you’re both out with mutual friends. However, one day, you were having such a bad day and was in no mood for his antics, so you decided to walk out of the restaurant you were hanging out in and go back to your place to cool off. Jiraiya, who felt bad for making you more upset, decided to follow you to talk. Not being able to take keeping your feelings a secret anymore, you confessed your love for him at his instant, telling him that you don’t want to be his friends with benefit anymore because you love him and that you want to have a proper relationship with him. But like you feared when finally confessing, Jiraiya couldn’t return your love because he still has feelings for Tsunade. Hurt by this revelation of unrequited love, you ask Jiraiya whether you are just Tsunade’s replacement – a temporary fill in his bed to chase away the loneliness until Tsunade changes her mind and decides to love him instead – to which Jiraiya was speechless. Not being able to bear the sadness, you told Jiraiya “I thought as much” and left him alone.

 Needing time to process everything and because it was very awkward, you and Jiraiya would avoid each other. Very much heartbroken, you decided to be the chosen one to go back and reside in the foreign nobility’s court to lead the alliance efforts. Maybe that will help you forget about your heartache. So, you leave, and a few years later, the noble’s son proposes and you accept.

 Original Ending (Angst)

 Many years later, after losing most of his precious people from Konoha, Jiraiya decides to travel and work alone. He hates the quiet, because he would reminisce of days pasts, and he would often remember you and wonder what would have happened if he had given you a chance and moved on from Tsunade. It is during some of these musings that the regret will come, because deep down inside, Jiraiya does love you, too.

 It just so happens that fate or coincidence made him cross paths with you again. Somewhere at the edge of the country you’re in, Jiraiya foils a kidnapping attempt made at the youngest daughter of a noble family. Bringing her back to the village, he finds out that the child he saved is yours.

 Grateful for Jiraiya’s help in saving his favourite grandchild and also recognising him as one of the legendary ninjas, your father-in-law decided to host Jiraiya for dinner and let him stay the night in your home to rest before he continues on his travels. Since your husband is currently away from the village for some business matters, you were given the task of hosting him and keeping him company; after all, you did know Jiraiya from before you left Konoha. As the night falls, you and Jiraiya ended up having a drink together and reminisce about old times – laughing about some of your training antics and mission experiences together.

 Jiraiya suddenly turns serious; he asks you how you were and whether you’re happy. You were truthful with him. Your life has changed drastically. You’re a retired shinobi in a boring and loveless marriage with a womanising noble, which is definitely not what you pictured your future would have been, but here you are. Jiraiya, for once, doesn’t run away. He apologises to you for what happened that one fateful night many years ago. He apologises for not giving you a chance, even if he already had an inkling feeling that you have caught feelings for him. He says sorry for not realising sooner that cares so much about you too, that he does love you too. But as he was about to say those three words that you’ve always longed to hear, you placed your fingers on top of his lips to silence him, telling him that you don’t want to think about the what ifs. Jiraiya, understanding that you both can’t turn back time, kisses your fingers, your palms, looks into your eyes, and kisses you passionately on your lips. This led to the both of you making love throughout night, the first since years ago.

 Basking in the afterglow and lying in bed together, you decided to let Jiraiya know your real feelings. You told him that you waited so long for him. When the noble’s son wanted to marry you, you tried to put it off as much as possible. You waited, and waited, and waited for him to come get you; hoping of all hopes that maybe, he changed his mind and decided to move on from Tsunade and give you both a chance, because you know that deep inside, Jiraiya has feelings for you, too. You waited, until you can’t anymore. So, you said yes to the noble’s son, and the rest is history. You never did have closure. You were angry. You are angry, telling Jiraiya that “I hate that I still love you. I hate that I waited for you, but you never came.” So, you told him that this is the last time ever that he can come to this village, telling him that he’s not coming back to destroy your life anymore. After that, you had angry/hate sex together, and in the morning, Jiraiya is gone.

 You became pregnant with your last child that night, but no one really knows who the real dad is because your child’s hair colour and features are mostly the same as yours. The only thing that shows that the child’s father is Jiraiya is that they have his eyes, his smile, and his squarish jaw line. You never did tell anyone that it was Jiraiya’s kid; it was a secret that you kept till your grave. And Jiraiya? He never did find out that he had a kid, too.

 This ending is when Jiraiya eventually dies at Pein's hands. One of Jiraiya's unreleased books, which he kept somewhere safe before he left for the Pein mission, is based on what could have been if he hadn’t let you get away and the both of you had your happily ever after in each other’s arms.

Alternate Ending (Happy)

 Jiraiya, who decided to have some balls and confront his feelings, chooses to run after you, and asks you to wait a little bit more for him because he loves you, too. So, you decide to decline the marriage proposal from the noble’s son, and once the alliance was established, you go back home to Konoha and decide to travel with Jiraiya. During your travels, he really gets to know you on a deeper level, and he falls deeper in love with you.

 One day, you both came across Tsunade briefly in your travels. Knowing that Jiraiya and her need some time alone, you leave the two of them to catch up, thinking that Jiraiya might want to be alone with Tsunade; thus, preparing yourself to be let down and rejected by him. During Tsunade and Jiraiya's meal (with sake, of course), he realises that he has finally moved on from her.

 That night, as he went back to his and your hotel room, he couldn't sleep thinking about his realisation that Tsunade doesn't make his heart beat fast anymore. Then he looks at your sleeping face, and it's like a whole load of inspiration just exploded inside him and the epiphany that you are the woman that he wants to grow old with. He then immediately wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning, kissing you (and you almost punched him for waking you up from your sleep). Jiraiya's all giddy and happy telling you "I love you" repeatedly. You were a bit sceptical though, but Jiraiya promises to show you that he really loves you through his actions.

 He does - he tries to show his love and appreciation for you every day, and his main masterpiece is a book that he finishes - wherein the heroine is inspired by you - and he declares his love for you in that book he wrote (calling himself stupid for not looking inside his heart sooner or something along the lines). You both continue your travels, and eventually get married and have children (of course, he gets to make love to you all the time, which is a bonus). He also gets to watch Naruto grow old and become the Hokage he is like his father. All is well.  

[peepingtoad]

OKAY SO. 

It’s not that often that I talk about what I really think about Jiraiya, and I guess I mean more how I feel about him, since I always try to write my ‘deeper’ headcanons/metas from a more... idk, trying not to get too emotional about it point of view. Basically it’s because I know how controversial he is, and I pretty much ritually avoid a lot of takes because I don’t want to get irritated about something that really doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme, because we’re all entitled to our opinions and I largely get my say through the act of writing and developing him how I see fit.

Which is enough for me, mostly, but for the purpose of reinforcing/building upon how I see my muse’s plight, working through some of my Sannin-feels and also to dip my toes into why I find blindly judgemental/single-faceted takes of him, his priorities and the Sannin’s bond so exasperating, I kinda feel like rambling my thoughts (feelings) anyway! 

Politely sticks this stream-of-consciousness mess under a cut.

So sometimes I do think about the fact that Jiraiya kinda, lmao, forgot about Everything Else in the world because of Orochimaru and his (frankly) obsession with him/them. And the fact that a ridiculously significant portion of bad shit that happened is down to his actions/inaction. And the fact that he really did go and leave the likes of Naruto (and maybe to a degree Kakashi, although there’s zero actual evidence he didn’t get involved given the strong indications of a great rapport in the canon), just because he was so hellbent on pursuing Orochimaru, who was not even shown to be affectionate towards him at the best of times. When I think about it in terms of Jiraiya being gone and the main reason we’re given for it, things suck for a number of people, and quite largely because of potentially unrequited/horribly communicated/obsessive JiraOro pursuits, in essence :’)

(And for all it’s still quite the rarepair, Jiraiya does express on accounts that he was destroyed when Oro left. I mean... this is the guy who rarely acknowledges his sadness so... It’s not my bias at all I sware)

Of course JiraTsu is very real in my eyes too, albeit a very different kinda tragic, as is OroTsu. And the messy poly ship? Ohohoho, even better, but... yeah. Tsunade does at least go her own way for a long time, as messed up as that is in itself, for reasons including the fact she seems to pointedly not heal or move on from her grief. And given the absolute debacle that was her and Jiraiya reuniting... and both her and Oro even discussing a possibility of sacrificing him... and just, them in general for that whole arc :’))) yeah. They are without a doubt messy and troubled, but even despite how fraught things become I genuinely think all the furtive expressions and the undercurrents of longing and the evasion of their past exhibits a history much deeper and full of lost love compared to many other team dynamics we get (otherwise the Three Way Divorce wouldn’t have been quite so horrible on them, would it? That and they’d probably have split up after Team Hiruzen was no more, if they really hated each other/just tolerated each other out of familiarity like I sometimes see speculated).

But yeah, back to our main man. Jiraiya’s intense (and frankly very Scorpio of him) love for our first series Big Bad kinda did ruin him and what he was setting out to do in some ways, to the degree that the actual story of Naruto wouldn’t be very much without him in terms of drama. I mean, he always loved a good story, right? So art imitates life, and innit just pathetic poetic.

And in so many ways it is incredibly tragic and pitiable that he’s Just Like That. Idealistic and warping everything terrible, no matter how bad, into adventure in his mind! As growth! As pain that makes you TOUGH and makes you a stronger man! As something to be pushed aside while you just keep on truckin’! Whatever anyone you love throws at you, it’s Totally Fine!

After so long narrating through his personal lens, I’ve come to realise he truly is so convinced that everything bad that happens, is sort of just... something he has to deal with and feel big and guilty and feelsy for while spinning it in ways that enable him to keep going. He just loads it on himself and sorta holds it. The fact he’s so sad and filled with sickly pining grief that he has to try and exorcise it with impulsive bouts of decadence? Fine. And it’s not abnormal at all, how he approaches things with such broad scope and just kinda... thoughtlessly wrecking-balls his way through everything he thinks is a great idea at the time. He experiences the fallout of these things and simultaneously feels the entire ravages of it acutely while compartmentalising it ever so neatly away. The crazy thing, too, is that he’s exceptionally convincing at making everything he does and how he handles things seem so grand and noble and romantic and tragic... but in a humorously self-deprecating and still ultimately very hopeful way, to the degree that I as a mun get caught up in his relentless optimism and forget he actually is a sad and heartbroken guy wrapped up in all this grandiosity.

Sometimes I do step back and look and I just think yeah, fuck, he really is a total disaster! He’s a walking disaster and he’s been so damaging to himself and others in so many ways, all because of acting on emotions and impulses without really thinking about the impact! He really did kinda give up on those who needed him and for what? A love that will never love him or prioritise him back? 

A wonderfully tragic theme that I do love with him, don’t get me wrong.

But then at the same time, there’s always more nuance to be had than just ‘he is a disaster and made bad choices, as tragic and romantic as it is, he was actually just selfish and kinda sucked in the end, pathetically whipped by his friends and unable to let go of what they had’. There’s more nuance to be had than reducing him to a purely romantically-inclined character, who just snubs everyone else for a doomed love... because in the end, I think a huge part of JiraOro’s demise in particular was that Oro felt immensely snubbed by Jiraiya when he stayed in Ame, when his loyalty to Konoha (as a place and people, not necessarily a system) and of course loyalty to his own ideals was prioritised over Oro.

To an extent, I feel like Tsunade could have been a similar case, were she not preoccupied with already having lost so much, and besides I really do think she and Jiraiya were quite firmly in best friend zone at that point. With Tsunade not being able to get comfortable around Jiraiya or to pursue any underlying affection for him because of the dumbass way he always behaved (understandably of her tbh), probably until she got with Dan, by which point I reckon Jiraiya started to really come through by showing how he valued her for her, where we see by them having each other’s backs so closely in the second war. Not to mention him generally respecting that his feelings for her have no place by the time he gets her back to Konoha.

In terms of that first split in Ame, Jiraiya, I feel, simply didn’t think him leaving was going to be a big deal, because the three were always fiercely headstrong people who had their own shit going on (simultaneously independent while also being, perhaps not to their knowledge, So Very Codependent). Not only that, but his overly affectionate ways and incessant jolliness were probably considered such a joke that he was basically like ‘they’ll be fine without me’. I certainly don’t think he felt needed by them, which I don’t think is their fault or a point of angst and ‘waaah poor blameless Jiraiya’, because quite honestly, the strain on their relationship was something I fully believe even he didn’t realise he needed out of at the time. His one-track mind was just on ‘save kids, teach kids, this is right, must seize opportunity to be the change I was told I’d be, not continue with this godforsaken war’

Selfish? Maybe. Well-intentioned? Certainly. Intended to hurt anyone or imply he stopped caring? No.

In essence, when it comes to why in the end Jiraiya seemed to be so horrendously bad at being around at the worst of times, at being responsible, whatever else (and I’m not even going to go into scenes intended to be comedic because, they are comedic)... I’ve got to look at it from more than just one view. It’s easy to say ‘he’s ridiculous and terrible because he pretty much flaked on what was important based on his whims/a doomed love/his dick’ (which I have seen said lmao) but there are so many other things at play here.

So I’m thinking, while he was shirking duties (godfatherly mainly)... did he actually consider that his most important duty? Was it anyone’s place to tell him it was? Minato didn’t, as I recall, and when he sacrificed himself he specifically left it to the Third because he (presumably) respected what his teacher was about and knew he wasn’t for staying put. Did Jiraiya not consider his primary duty to be to the prophecy, and in a more general sense fixing the big wrongs and trying to foil big dangers to his home? Were these things not pretty much what he existed for (as much as his faith wavered and went off the rails at times)? Was that not the main source of any real purpose he ever had, being a kid who showed practically no ambition before? Did he not pretty much redesign himself as being ‘from Mt. Myōboku’ rather than Konoha after two devastating wars, and thus is it not understandable for him not to focus solely on Konoha—not outright destroying it, still ultimately loyal to his home and not about to let anyone destroy it, but seeing that the world is in fact so much bigger than just his little town? Is that really something that’s so bad and wrong of him, in a story where the main cast’s country has a pretty fucking nasty system and is established to do so very early on? Is he not pretty revolutionary in his own brand of not blindly serving, but not going on a destroy-it-all frenzy either?

Also, was he not the only one who actually bothered to investigate Akatsuki and the forces that would see Naruto dead, in time? For all he did help bring Akatsuki into existence in ways, it was inevitable from before he even met the orphans that they were going to be groomed/moulded into what they became, regardless of whether Jiraiya came onto the scene. Jiraiya leaving them was just a different kind of suffering to what they were inevitably going to suffer anyway, and hell, with his influence at least there was a time where they might’ve stood a chance of going totally against Madara/Obito’s path, especially while Yahiko was still around. Jiraiya didn’t know that the whole thing with the Ame orphans was, by a design out of his control, doomed to end horribly. So while he felt personally responsible not knowing this, and it’s taken as a given that he was... actually, was he, when there was a master manipulator at play? Was it wrong to want to give some kids a chance?

With regards to all those things I see people say he should have stayed and fixed, that he should have been there, he should have done x y z... Is it not the responsibility of everyone not satisfied with their lot to step up to the plate and make where they live better? Jiraiya wasn’t the only adult. Tsunade, and I absolutely love her, does seem overwhelmingly to be absolved of leaving Konoha because... ??? Kicker is that she too is related to Naruto, of course. 

So... was she not also needed for the very material ways she could’ve helped at numerous points? Was she not also placing her grief and lost love before everything else? Are some reasons inherently more ok than others to ditch? As Kakashi’s generation grew up, was it not also then up to them to decide whether they’d change the status quo? Were Minato’s own generation, presumably his own peer group, not complicit in Naruto’s ostracisation? We got a slight taste of rebellion with Asuma, Hiruzen’s own son, but the fact is many Konoha-nin were overwhelmingly complacent with how things were. And yet never get demonised at all for it. Because it’s Jiraiya’s fault for... not staying and giving it all up to be a guardian who could well be depressed and unfit to raise a child... or just being a flaky as hell one that’s never there anyway because he has shit to do? (and in doing the former would let too many things go unchecked by a completely tuned-out Hokage, not gathering all that spicy useful intel, y’know... essentially he wouldn’t have ended up largely doing his job along with the personal shit in between).

Basically when I see claims saying that Jiraiya as an individual should have done pretty much everything better, and somehow been there for everyone that needed him at any given time, and that (mostly Naruto’s) suffering was a failing on Just His part because of his selfish whims... I feel like the point of his tragedy is absolutely missed. That tragedy being that barrelling through things alone is definitely a failing and harmful in numerous ways, as we see with Itachi shouldering everything alone too, and we see them both miss out on Naruto and Sasuke as a result... but at the same time, is just settling down and leaving everything else to chance not also a huge failing, when there are so many other circumstances and enemies acting against you, when you do have the power to change tides, and when so many other people refuse to or can’t seize their own agency? Jiraiya does put his faith in a lot of people too, and a lot of people fail. Don’t fail him, but in a general sense many, like Minato, fail to make the change they wanted to. That’s life in this world, it’s tragic, and after losing a lot of loved ones yeah, he retreats and goes at it alone. 

But how can he win? How does he do what’s right, other than by chasing what he thinks he can do to actually help the world, which happens to be bigger and not centred on individuals, even those he cares about?

(and remember, nobody knows Naruto is special-reincarnation-prophecy-boi, which is why I tend not to blame-game any characters for him being treated like so many orphans were because... while it’s not morally right or nice at all, it’s tone deaf to how the world is, to the fact all characters having different degrees of knowledge and priorities, and it’s insensitive of the fact most the characters had their own struggles and were just doing their best with a bad lot gdi). 

Hell though, Jiraiya even does put Oro, his big obsessive wild goose chase that whisks him away into selfish pining hopelessly devoted land, on the back burner at points. Maybe not in a lasting way, particularly by the last databook where he’s inspired anew by Naruto, but he does prioritise other shit on numerous occasions. And there’s a lot of shit to try and prioritise.

What I’m trying to say is, Jiraiya can’t solely be held responsible for people. Sure, he’s a character whose decisions were pivotal to events, but what of every other character in the story? Why are they not held to the same crazy high standard of doing and protecting and preventing and somehow doing everything ‘right’ that would have also meant him fitting neatly into the Konoha mould? Would other characters really have been that much better in the position of The Big Guide/Martyr/Tragic Hero/Force For Change character? And also is having a tragic Chaotic Good bastard of a hero not a sign of a damn good and interesting character, that at the very least tried where so many others didn’t? Would Naruto not have been a boring as hell story, whose main protag didn’t really have much conflict to make him compelling, without Jiraiya (among others) being a mess with the best intentions? Without so many other characters having failed him, for him to overcome it and still be able to love and inspire change (albeit through sometimes-clumsy talk-no-jutsu)? Was I missing the point of the story?

............. Hmm!

No longer sure where else I’m going with this now, so.... here, I guess, ends my ode to why character hate (especially that reduces them to One Thing) is dumb, why demonising truly well-meaning characters doesn’t feel particularly woke to me in a cast full of flawed characters and horrible circumstance, and why I’ll defend this poor bastard with far too damn much hinging on him to the end I guess :’)

TL;DR HE’S A DUMBASS AND HE TRIED, OKAY?!

[akiology]

Hello, Are You There? || Part 1

Minako tries the number neighbor thing. Thinking it was an inactive number, she decides to vent and express her frustrations, turning it into a sort of mini diary. What she didn’t expect was somebody was actually on the other line and decided to send a message back.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Word Count: 3.4k+

Pairing: Akihiko Sanada x Minako Arisato

Note: alternate universe where there are no demons, no dark hour and therefore no SEES. also, minato and minako are twins :3 this was something i started writing out of nowhere, so please tell me if there are any spelling errors!

Minako was the type to be able to handle herself. She is always there for her friends, giving them support when needed and cheering them on. However, when it came to herself, she didn’t like opening up. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust her friends, or secretly hated them. No, that is not the case. She is simply afraid because she believes that opening up and telling others about her deepest, darkest fears will make her vulnerable and weak. She didn’t like that one bit.

She believes that she always has to be strong.

Being the older sister(by five minutes), and the one in charge of taking care of Minato because her parents are working abroad, she thinks that she always has to be strong.

Of course, sooner or later she will have to realize that she can’t always be strong.

/./

Classes just ended, and Minako decided to have a cup of coffee at Chagall Café along with Yukari and Fuuka for some quality girl time.

“Have you heard of this trend? It’s an old one but I found it interesting.” Yukari asks, shoving her phone at Fuuka and Minako. The latter shakes her head, while Fuuka studies the image on Yukari’s phone.

“What is it about?” Minako inquires, seemingly uninterested. Yukari didn’t notice it though.

“Basically, get your phone number and change the last digit into the neighboring numbers. And then you send a message.” Yukari answered, taking back her phone.

“Oh, what happens next?” Fuuka asks, not quite understanding the purpose.

“Well, they’ll reply. And maybe you’ll get a new friend.” Yukari states, with a big smile on her face.

“Oh… that’s quite... um...” Fuuka trails off, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

“Lame.” Minako interjected.

Yukari laughed. “Of course you would say that! But why not try it? You may get something out of it... like maybe a relationship?”

Minako scrunches her eyebrows, absolutely weirded out by how the thought of that idea did a big jump. “That seems like a reach. But anyways, I don’t need to be in a relationship! I’m already happy I got you guys!”

Yukari snorted, while Fuuka gave a big smile, “I’m happy I have you guys, too.”

“Okay but I want to try it at least once.”

“Then you do it yourself, Yukari.”

“No! I want to do it with you guys! What do you think, Fuuka?”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try…”

“Seriously Fuuka?”

“Fuuka already agreed! Two against one!”

“Fine… But only once, okay? If they don’t reply, then that’s it.”

“Pfft, sure!”

/./

Of course, Minako didn’t really expect a reply. After all, who in their right minds would reply to a random number texting ‘Hey there number neighbor!’. She is sure as hell she wouldn’t. Thinking that her number neighbor might be an inactive number, she decides not to dwell on it anymore as she prepares dinner for her and Minato.

At the sound of the door opening and some keys being carelessly thrown somewhere reaches her ears, Minako smiles at the thought that her younger brother is home. She puts on a big smile to greet her brother, “Minato, welcome home!”

Minato just grunted in reply. She knows this mood of his. He probably had a bad day, and when Minato is having a bad day, he doesn’t have the energy to talk or interact with other people.

“Can you please set the table? I’m almost done with the food.” Minako pleads, hoping that he isn’t too tired. Minato didn’t reply, however he did start on setting the table.

As Minako served the food on the table, Minato decided to go back to his room and change. When he came back down, they started eating.

“Tough day?” Minako tries starting up a conversation with his brother. Minato nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Minako asks again, and Minato shook his head no.

And they ate in silence.

/./

The next day, it didn’t seem like Minato’s mood changed. As they were going to school, Minato was quiet and didn’t seem to acknowledge her presence. Minako knows that even if her brother is acting cold, he still loves her so. But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. All she could do was sigh and turn her volume on to the highest level, drowning out the rest of the world.

As they were walking through the school gates, some girls blocked the way, not caring if they were causing a big inconvenience to the other students.

Minako, curious with what was happening decided to lower her volume and listen.

“Akihiko-senpai is most likely coming soon! He usually arrives at this time!” One girl said, smiling huge, jumping up and down.

“O-M-G! I hope he looks our way!” Another girl squealed, and Minako swears that her eyes were shaped like a heart.

“I am like, so proud of him for winning that competish! I’m going to ask for an autograph!” A third girl chimed in, flopping her arms around.

Minako rolled her eyes. It wasn’t of any importance. Some girls just bothering a poor, helpless guy. She sighs once again, maxing out her volume and silently walking to class.

/./

This day isn’t being kind to Minako.

And that was sugarcoating it.

The teachers dumping a bunch of work on the students, just a week before the finals. The volleyball club members fighting with the leader. Obnoxious and disrespectful customers at Minako’s part-time job. Minato still not opening up.

This day was absolute shit.

After dinner, Minako decided to head straight to her bed and lock her door. She flopped herself on her bed and released a big sigh. Her chest feels tight and she feels worn out. She’s read somewhere that crying is a good way to let out your feelings, and it might make you feel a whole lot better if you let it out.

However, nothing was coming out.

She blinked a few times. Nothing.

Suddenly, the feeling of anger is overpowering her. The frustration of not being able to cry is getting to her, and she decided that the best way to go about it is to scream in to her pillow.

That still didn’t help.

She decided to grab her phone. Another thing she read is that opening up might help. She didn’t like the thought one bit, but she knows that she can trust her friends. She scrolled through her screen, Yukari? Fuuka? She decides to go through their group chat, and although they are both online, they seem to be talking about something happily and she didn’t want to dampen the mood.

Maybe Rio? But she’s got her own problem with the volleyball team. Probably best not to stress her out anymore.

Minato? She knows damn well that her brother won’t judge her no matter what, but Minato is probably asleep already.

She sighs yet again, until she comes across her number neighbor.

Hey number neighbor!

Still no reply. Maybe it really is an inactive number.

It’s perfect.

I mean, it’s still sort of opening up to somebody, right?

Plus, she won’t be bothering anybody and she’ll be able to express her frustrations.

Win-win.

She decides to start typing.

Minako: hey there number neighbor

Minako: i know this is really fucking stupid but today was really shitty

Minako: and im telling this to you because i know nobodys there

Minako: but basically what happened was the teachers decided to drop every fucking major requirement the week before exams, and then my part-time job is so demanding, both my boss and the customers

Minako: my boss kept dumping work on me and he did say he would pay me extra but it was still pretty fucking tiring

Minako: and then today the leader of my club expressed her frustrations on said club

Minako: and my brother still wont open up…

Minako: and… i don’t know… i guess it just sorta sinked in to me all of a sudden that im tired..

Minako: and sad… and lonely…

Minako: i

Minako: wow

Minako: that got too real too fast

And a tear fell down her cheek. Minako blinked a few times, and more tears came down.

She was crying. And she couldn’t stop, and she decided to let herself feel this.

She fell asleep crying.

/./

“Shit!” Minako hurriedly put her textbooks in her bag, panicking as she realizes she woke up late. She is usually the one who wakes up first, and then she will be the one who will wake up Minato, who is a heavy-sleeper.

Today, Minato was the one to wake her up, but because Minato isn’t a morning person, they are both late.

When Minako finally finished her packing her things, she put her hair in a bun and washed up herself really quickly.

“I’m really sorry, Minato! You can go on without me!” She shouts from her room, suddenly having trouble putting on her uniform.

“No.” Minato answers back simply. Minato was a man of habit and if he got used to something, he’d want to keep it that way. So going to school without Minako is going to feel weird.

“I’m done!” Minako quickly grabbed her phone and her headphones while going down the stairs quickly. “Let’s go!”

/./

They both managed to snag a seat on the train, and Minako decided to check the time on her phone. It wasn’t time yet, but they are most likely be late since the train hasn’t left yet. She notices two notifications on her phone. One from Yukari, containing the words, “wer r u and minato?” and another from an unknown number.

She decides to open it and her blood ran cold.

It was from her number neighbor.

She remembers clearly how she decided to vent to her number neighbor, thinking it was an inactive number.

It was an inactive number, right? Still in denial and thinking it was her phone glitching, she decided to open it anyway.

???: Hey, I am sorry for ignoring your message. I thought you were a prankster, but I can tell that you have been having a hard time. Prankster or not, I want to make sure if you’re okay and not doing anything bad.

???: If it helps you even just a little bit, you can continue venting to me. :) I do not mind at all. I have heard that venting to a complete stranger is much easier than venting to a friend, since there is no judgment. And that’s completely true.

???: I won’t judge you.

Minako was dumbfounded. Is this guy for real? She thought she was going to get told off by the guy, but he seems really nice.

Minako: omg im so sorry my friend told me to do this number neighbor thing

Minako: and when you didn’t reply i thought it was an inactive number

Minako: last night i was really frustrated and nothing was helping

Minako: so i decided to vent to this number because i figured no one was gonna read it anyways

Minako: i am really sorry if i disturbed u

Minako sighed to herself. The train finally started moving and she decided to play music to get her mind off of it. What she didn’t expect was that she was going to get a reply so soon.

???: It is fine.

???: I told you, I do not mind. You can vent to me anytime if it helps you. :)

Minako didn’t know how to react. This guy is too nice.

Minako: um ok

Minako: thanks ig

Minako: u can do the same if u want

Minako: u can vent to me as well

The guy stopped replying. Probably became busy. Minako sighs in relief, she is embarrassed to say the least. She probably won’t talk to the guy for a while. Or you know, ever. That is probably it, she does not need some random stranger knowing about her problems. She decides to spend the rest of the ride listening to music and looking at the passing scenery.

/./

After school, Minako, Yukari and Fuuka decided to go to Chagall Café once again. Yukari suggested a ‘study group’ to help each other understand unclear terms and also a way to finish their projects. Fuuka and Minako agreed that it was beneficial.

After ordering their drinks and desserts, Fuuka started teaching Yukari the recent Math topic. Yukari couldn’t wrap her head around it and no matter how hard she tried to follow the discussion, she still couldn’t understand. Minako understood the lesson very well, so she was finishing one of their other projects instead.

“Okay, so first you have to write the given…” Fuuka started, while Yukari stared at the problem.

Minako was getting her things ready, when her phone vibrated. She opened it to see a message from her number neighbor. He still replied?

???: Hey, sorry for not replying. Today has been hectic.

???: But thank you! I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. :)

???: How are you feeling today, though?

Is this guy… actually concerned? Minako knows that it is rude that she is questioning and may or may not be judging the guy when she absolutely knows nothing about him. But same goes for the other guy, they do not know anything about her and yet they are concerned?

Minako: im okay today

Minako: thanks for asking

Minako: hbu?

As she finished setting up her things, she got a reply. That was quick.

???: That’s great. I am glad you are feeling better. :)

???: I am good, too. Just a little tired. But I can manage.

Minako stares at the message. Is she supposed to reply to that? Nevermind that, she is supposed to be studying right now. She decides to instead text Minato to eat outside already, as she will be home late. And then she put her phone in her bag and concentrate on her project.

/./

When Minako finally got home, the house was eerily quiet. There were no lights on either. “Minato?” She called out, no answer. She puts down her things and went to knock at his door.

“Minato?”

Still no reply. She tried opening the door, but it was locked. She went back down and checked to see if his shoes were here, and it wasn’t. He wasn’t home yet. Where was he?

Minako tried calling his number, but there was no answer. She started texting his friends, Junpei, Kenji and Kazushi. But none of them knew where he was. She was starting to get a little worried.

No, screw that. She IS worried as hell. Where could he have gone to?

She decided to get her jacket and find him herself but just before she could do that, the front door opened.

It was Minato.

She felt relieved, but at the same time she was very angry.

“And just where have you been?” Minako tried to stay calm, but her tone was harsh. Minato flinched.

“With the boys.” Minato answered, not looking at her and removing his shoes.

“Lies. They told me they didn’t know where you were.”

Minato finished with his shoes and walked past by her, seemingly ignoring her words.

“Minato, I am talking to you.”

“What?” Minato answered indifferently.

“What? What?! What do you mean ‘what’? I was worried sick! You didn’t answer any of my calls, and your friends didn’t know where you were! Not to mention that it’s late, who knows what kind of criminal could be lurking around the streets at this moment!” Minako said exasperatedly. It frustrated and angered her that her brother doesn’t seem to be thinking about what she was feeling.

“Calm down, I got home safely didn’t I? It’s fine. You’re worrying over nothing.” Minato proceeded to go upstairs to his room, not daring to look back at his sister.

“Minato Arisato, come back down here! I am not done talking to you!” Minako shouted, but it fell on deaf ears as he did not come back. Minako felt frustrated and angry and sad… She stormed into her room. Her chest was tightening and she did not like it one bit. She tried screaming into her pillow, but it did not ease her pain.

She faced up and stared at the ceiling. What was going on with her brother? Is there a problem at school? Is he being bullied? Was he having a hard time? They were in different classrooms, but even so it was just next to eachother. Yet somehow it feels like she still cannot reach him.

She unknowingly reached into her phone and started typing. She didn’t want to do this, but it feels like her hands has a mind of their own.

Minako: hey number neighbor

Minako: are u there?

Minako feels weak, vulnerable, and pathetic at this moment, but she doesn’t know what else she can do. After a minute, her phone vibrated.

???: Yes, I am.

???: What’s wrong? Did something happen?

Minako: i just

Minako: im sorry for disturbing u once again

Minako: but nothings calming me down again

Minako: i thought today was a nice day because i just hung out with my friends

Minako: but when i got home, my brother wasn’t there

Minako: i got worried and started calling

Minako: he didn’t answer so i texted his friends and even they didn’t know where he was

Minako: i was just about to go out until he came home

Minako: and i asked him where he was, wanting an explanation

Minako: but he just ignored me

Minako: and it fucking hurts because i was worried sick and he didn’t even try talking to me

Minako: im so fucking frustrated and angry and sad

Minako: its like i didn’t matter

Minako: he used to share a lot with me, i am his bestfriend

Minako: well, was, as it seems like now

When Minako finished, she put her phone down and stared at the ceiling. She started contemplating whether she did something to make her brother act like this. When she heard her phone vibrating, she quickly got it.

???: Hey, don’t jump into conclusions. Although I understand where your frustration is coming from. It is valid.

Minako: if its valid they why didn’t my brother talk to me???

???: Perhaps your brother is going through something, and he isn’t ready to talk about it. He just needs some time to figure it out himself and then he will approach you.

Minako: then what should i do????

???: Just continue loving and supporting him. Let him know you are there. And when the time comes, he will approach you.

Minako: do u think i scared him off when i got angry at him

???: I believe not. You were only being a concerned sister. And I am certain he knows that too. Like I said, what you felt is valid. It is normal, I would probably be the same if I was in your position.

Minako suddenly started crying. She closed her eyes and cried. After a few minutes, she decided to reply back.

Minako: thank u number neighbor

Minako: hey is it ok if i call u by another name or something

Minako: number neighbor is too long and it feels a bit weird

???: Alright. What do you suggest?

Minako: well when i call u by a name then u will most likely call me by a name too

Minako: is it ok if it’s a code name or a nickname

Minako: i don’t feel comfortable saying my name

???: That is fine by me. :) What kind of name will it be then?

Minako: is it ok if i call u by my favorite thing

???: And that would be?

Minako: headphones.

???: Fine by me, pancake.

Minako was surprised. Why the sudden endearment?

Minako: im sorry what?

???: Pancake. You will be calling me by your favorite thing, I’ll be calling you by my favorite thing too. :)

Minako: oh

???: Why? Is it weird? Do you want me to change?

Minako: um no

Minako: its fine

Minako: just surprised

???: Alright, pancake.

Minako couldn’t explain why she was suddenly blushing. It’s just their favorite thing. Nothing more. She decided to shake it off and proceeds to change their contact name into ‘Headphones’.

Minako: im feeling a lot better now

Minako: thank u again headphones

Headphones: I am glad I was able to help. :)

Minako: im gonna sleep now

Minako: nanite

Minako: ttyl

Headphones: Sleep well, pancake. :)

[justagirlwithapen32]

Wrong

The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood was wrong.

“No!”

Two pairs of yellow eyes turned to look at her, one narrowing in confusion, the other in anger. “Kill her!” the angry one hissed.

Immediately white zetsu sprang at her, but Sakura easily took them down. In her grief and rage, she flung herself at the two black zetsu, hands forming a complex series of seals that imbued chakra into her hands, which she then funnelled into a katana. With one flash of the blade, the two were sliced in half, only to be drawn into the blade, which was actually a quietly famous sealing blade.

“No!”

It was the black zetsu’s turn to cry out in denial, and they both did, even as they were sealed away. Once it was done, the blade fell limp from Sakura’s hands, and she rushed over to the woman who lay upon the ground, bleeding out. Her life force was slowly ebbing away, and the pinkette realised that there was no way she could save her life, her chakra was too low, and her reserve was gone from all the fighting, thanks to the two black zetsus.

“No,” she denied a second time, this one as a whisper that could barely be heard. “Naruto… How can Naruto be born now? Wrong… Everything’s gone wrong!”

Sakura sobbed, clinging to Kushina’s hand. “I am sorry, Haruno Sakura,” a voice spoke, and she looked up to see the almost ghostly form of the Sage of Six Paths before her.

“You sent me back here,” she spoke as she wept. “You sent me here to stop zetsu from altering the past his way, and I have. But… Naruto…”

The Sage sighed, and she could detect a hint of sadness in his expression. “I truly am sorry,” he said. “I did not foresee this as a possibility. I knew that my son Ashura would reincarnate, but I was certain it would always be as Naruto.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Sakura begged. “There… there’s still a slight pulse, and…”

“Uzumaki Kushina’s spirit no longer resides within her,” the Sage said. “And any moment now, the last impulses of chakra in her system will disappear, and her body will expire. Then, Kurama will be released into the world’s natural chakra, to reform in a number of years.”

Sakura’s tears were renewed, and she wept once more for her sunshine friend and team mate who would now never exist. “Is there… really no way?” she asked in a grief stricken whisper.

“There is no way to bring her spirit back from the pure lands,” the Sage told her. “The only way to ensure Uzumaki Naruto’s conception now, would be if another soul was bonded to Kushina’s instead.”

Sakura looked up at him, tears halting their flow. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Haruno Sakura, your time here is limited, you know that,” the Sage said, and Sakura nodded in acknowledgement. “You cannot be in existence when you would be born in this time, I have already told you that. It was intended that I would send you back to where you came from, to restore balance with your spirit in the future. But instead, there is something else I can do. It will not prevent your existence in this time line, and will ensure Uzumaki Naruto’s own existence. Are you willing to do this?”

Sakura nodded immediately. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it,” she said decisively.

“I can bind your soul to Kushina,” the Sage said. “Essentially, you would become her. Her memories would become yours, her life would become your life. Your body would expire, would transition back into the chakra of the world, much as Kurama’s would, or any of my other children, were they to be released via death from their hosts. Kushina’s soul might be gone, but you would live on in her stead.”

Sakura was gaping at him, at the connotations of such a thing. But then she closed her mouth and thought quickly but seriously on it. Finally, she nodded and said, “What do I have to do?”

“Pour every last bit of your healing chakra into Kushina,” the Sage instructed. “It would not do to transfer your soul, only to have you die anyway from these injuries. Once you have exhausted your chakra, I will take it from there.”

Sakura nodded, then flared the remainder of her chakra, getting to work at healing the worst of Kushina’s injuries. Naruto, she kept thinking. For Naruto. She would do anything for him, for her team… Sasuke, Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai too. Her shishou, her friends… She poured everything she had into healing, knowing that even with what she had left, it would only be a patch until either a medic came along, or Kurama regained the strength to heal his host.

…Which would be her soon enough.

It didn’t take long, and soon, Sakura’s chakra was sluggish, stuttering in and out of life. Her vision swam, she felt herself fading out of existence, and the last thing she saw was the Sage above her, hand seals formed, then there was nothing.

OoOoO

He was desperate to find her.

While fighting those strange creatures, he’d lost track of Kushina. The last he’d seen of her, she’d chased after that kunoichi who’d been working with the Hokage for the last several months on some top secret mission, a mission he had the feeling had culminated in tonight’s battle. Minato couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Kushina knew what had been going on, but then dismissed that thought.

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated his senses. He couldn’t find the pink haired kunoichi, but he found Kushina. Her chakra… it was incredibly weak! Minato shunshined in her direction, unable to use hiraishin, as there were no markers where he could sense that Kushina was. When he arrived, his heart stopped at the sight before him.

“No no no no no!” he denied, rushing to her side. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt her pulse. “Kushina! Kushina, can you hear me? Please…”

She stirred lightly and her eyes fluttered open briefly. “Naruto?” she whispered questioningly, her voice wavering slightly.

Minato chuckled lightly. “Trust you to think of ramen at a time like this,” he said, relieved, trying to help her up.

Kushina looked up at him in confusion, wincing sharply at a pain that alerted him to the fact that she was still really, really hurt. She looked like she didn’t understand what he was saying, and Minato resisted biting his lip in worry. A moment later, the confusion cleared and she looked around, then down at her hands. Kushina pulled a strand of her her hair out into view, her eyes wide at the sight of it.

“It worked,” she whispered, then winced further, grasping at her side.

It was then Minato saw the blood.

“We have to get you to the hospital,” he said, gathering her into his arms. He held her tightly to him. “I thought I lost you for a moment there,” he whispered into her hair. “Please don’t do that again.”

Kushina nodded against his chest, but before he could get moving to the hospital, she cried suddenly, “Wait! The katana!”

She was wriggling in his grip, trying to get out of his grasp, no matter that it was causing her pain. “Stop!” he begged. “You’re going to hurt yourself further. What katana are you talking about?”

Kushina pointed down towards one that was on the ground. It looked vaguely familiar to him, but he didn’t know why. Minato opened his mouth to ask why she wanted it, but then the Hokage and two ANBU appeared.

“Minato, Kushina,” the Sandaime greeted them. “Have you seen Sakura?”

Sakura…? Right, the kunoichi. Minato shook his head, but Kushina said, “She’s gone. The katana… it’s there. It’s… it’s done, Hokage-sama, she asked me to tell you that.”

“Where did she go?” one of the ANBU asked.

Kushina shrugged. “Her body vanished into nothingness,” she said.

The Hokage looked troubled at this. He seemed about to ask Kushina more questions, but Minato spoke up then. “Hokage-sama, could this wait?” he asked. “Kushina needs a medic.”

“Of course, of course,” the Sandaime said. “Get her seen to. I will speak to you later on this, Kushina.”

Minato nodded and utilised his hiraishin to get them to the hospital.

OoOoO

Namikaze Kushina, nee Uzumaki, stood in front of an empty grave, one that had been set aside for ‘Sakura’. It had been a few years now since she’d woken in the vivacious red head’s body, but Sakura had adjusted. She was ‘Kushina’ now. After a few weeks, she’d caved and told the Hokage what had happened. He was shocked, but also touched by her willingness to make the sacrifice to ensure her best friend would exist.

They’d both agreed to never tell Minato, and maybe that was unfair, but…

Awkwardly leaning down, she placed a bouquet of flowers on the grave, the meaning behind the flowers deliberate. Consistency, sacrifice, love, friendship, and honour. She rubbed her belly where Naruto was already growing, and she smiled at the thought that her sunshine would be here soon, only two and a half months away.

Sakura closed her eyes, Kushina’s eyes, and offered up a silent promise to the woman whose life had been cut prematurely short, that she would look after her family. That Minato would be loved, Naruto would be loved, and that there would be no need for anything so drastic in the future as time travel to make sure that the world kept turning.

With a smile on her face, she turned and headed out of the cemetery to meet with Mikoto, who’d only recently come out of the hospital, and would have Itachi and newborn Sasuke with her.

[rinneganwritings]

Never Far Away; Chapter Ten: Let You Go

Word Count: 3,095

Summary: Team Yumiko catches up with Tsunade, but things don't go as expected. The source of the tension between Yumiko and Kakashi is hinted at to a very curious Akina.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

It doesn’t take long after making camp for Ezume and Akina to call it a night. Yumiko volunteered to take the first watch, expecting she would have at least a few hours of solitude before switching out with someone else. Two hours into her shift, she’s working on mending a hole in one of Akina’s skirt and Kakashi is still sitting against the same tree reading Icha Icha

“So why did I volunteer to take the first shift if you’re gonna stay up anyway?” she asks finally.

Kakashi doesn’t look up, “Hm, I’m not sure.”

“You could’ve said something, y’know.”

“It seems you had something to do anyway,” he lazily waves towards the sewing in her lap.

“I could’ve done that on my turn.”

There’s a moment of silence before Kakashi speaks up again, “Do you enjoy arguing with me?”

“What? Why would you ask-”

“I was thinking about it earlier,” he closes his book and turns to face her. “I realized every time we’ve spoken to each other for as long as I can remember, we were arguing. Well, you were arguing.”

“That’s not true,” she rolls her eyes. “We’ve had normal conversations.”

“When?”

“That’s not fair,” she groans. “Everyone forgets when asked for specifics.”

Ezume sits up in his sleeping bag with rage painted on his face, “Okay, can you guys just kiss or something so I can go back to sleep?”

“Yes, Yumiko. Our comrades need their rest,” Kakashi slumps against the tree, opening Icha Icha again.

Yumiko stands up, “Okay, since you’re going to stay up reading your dirty book I’m going to sleep.”

“This is not a dirty book,” Kakashi gasps. “This is fine crafted romance!”

“What would you know about romance?”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything. She kicks off her shoes and slips off her flak jacket before getting into her sleeping bag. Despite her best efforts, she’s never able to fall asleep.

☾

Everyone was departing from the memorial with heavy hearts. Tamako clung tightly to Yumiko’s hand as they both stared down at the marker for their parents. Something about being at the memorial made the reality of the situation sink in for Yumiko. Her heart wants to hide from the immense sorrow filling it, meanwhile she’s barely coming to terms with the heavy burden placed on her shoulders. So much sadness radiates off everyone in the village. Yumiko fights back the tears, wanting to seem brave in front of her peers.

Mikoto walks up to the sisters with baby Sasuke bundled up in her arms. Itachi follows close behind her.

“Why don’t we take Tamako back to our house for a while?” she offers. “You can come by when you’re ready.”

“Would you like that, Tamako?” Yumiko asks her.

Tamako looks up at her with wide eyes filled with tears, “Will you be okay, big sister?”

“Of course,” Yumiko kneels down beside her, “You should go play, okay? I’ll come get you soon.”

Tamako nods slowly before turning around to walk over to Itachi. Their hands intertwine as soon as they’re close to each other.

“Thank you,” Yumiko says to Mikoto. The woman nods with a sad smile before taking the children away.

Once she’s alone, Yumiko let’s her tears fall freely. So many emotions bubble to the surface she can’t quite seem to get a handle on any of them. One moment her tears are sad, then before she knows it her fists are balled up in anger. Just when she thinks she might explode from the growing rage, she realizes how absolutely terrified she really is.

She wants to scream into the empty sky above her. Then she looks up from her parent’s grave to see Kakashi standing in front of the memorial built in honor of Minato and Kushina. She doesn’t know what it is about seeing the silver haired ninja there, but she feels a little wave of calm wash over her.

She walks over to stand beside him, Kakashi looks at her for a moment before turning back to the memorial.

“I’m sorry you lost your sensei,” she says quietly. “I know how much Minato meant to you.”

Kakashi is quiet for a moment as he considers her words. When he speaks again, she’s surprised by the bitterness in his voice.

“I should’ve been there. We should have been there.”

She remembers how they’d both been trying desperately to join the fight when the Nine Tails attacked, only to be held back. The two of them along with the others their age helped to take the villagers to safety while the older shinobi fought the beast.

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” she says finally. She’s not sure if she’s trying to convince him or herself.

She looks down to see Kakashi’s hands balled up in a fist as he speaks, “We’ll never know.”

Despite the pain filling her, she wishes more than anything to be able to take his away. She stares at him for a moment.

“Kakashi,” she starts to reach out for him, but stops herself.

How could she save him when she’s drowning too?

☽

Even though the sun is just beginning to rise, it seemed the night was just coming to an end for most of the people out and about.

“This seems exactly like the type of place Tsunade would choose,” Yumiko says as she watches the drunk and rowdy people walking around them. For a moment she feels nostalgic for her childhood, when her mother would go off on trips with Tsunade then come back with stories of glittering lights and exciting people. She pushes the nostalgia away, determined to keep focused.

“Should we get a room at an inn for tonight?” Akina asks, doing a terrible job at masking the hopefulness in her voice. She specifies for the night, but Yumiko knows she’s really hoping to get a few more hours of sleep this morning.

“Hm, maybe,” Yumiko answers. She stops at a food cart to buy a pork dumpling before continuing along behind her team. Her eyes scan the faces of people they pass, trying to find something familiar.

Kakashi turns to make sure Yumiko is still following. She flashes him a quick smile before he turns around. They go into the biggest inn with a casino attached. As soon as they walk in, Yumiko knows they won’t be able to afford to stay here. Tsunade and Tamako on the other hand might have been able to.

The innkeeper eyes the team suspiciously, “You gotta have money to stay here.”

“Don’t worry, we won’t be staying,” Yumiko says to him before making her way towards the casino. Kakashi follows her, but Ezume and Akina linger behind.

She spots Shizune with Tonton sitting at a table with a drink at the same time Shizune spots her. Shizune tries to stand up to leave, but it’s too late. Kakashi has already crossed over to the other side of the small bar area. With a pout she sits back down.

“Come to rough me up again,” Shizune says when Yumiko sits down beside her.

“I didn’t rough you up the first time,” Yumiko leans forward. “But I did make myself clear.”

“Listen, I think you’ve misunderstood Lady Tsunade’s intentions. She’s just trying to help Tamako.”

“She can’t help her,”

“I think I can,” Tsunade’s voice draws everyone’s attention. She stands there with her arms crossed, her bottom lip curled in annoyance. Kakashi stands aside so Tsunade can pull up a chair at the table. He stands behind Yumiko, she notices him placing a hand on each side of her chair. Tsunade notices too, but doesn’t acknowledge it despite the curious look.

“Tamako is going to be labelled as a rogue ninja if we don’t get her home,” Yumiko says. “The whole village thinks she’s gone to join the Akatsuki.”

“I’ve taken care of that,” Tsunade smirks. “I’m going to train her to be a medical ninja. And I’ve taken the liberty of alerting the Hokage. You should be hearing from him shortly.”

Yumiko’s ears pound as she takes in what she’s heard.

“That’s all well and good,” Kakashi’s voice rings through her head. “But until we hear from the Hokage, we’re still on a mission. We should see Tamako.”

“Tamako doesn’t want to see you,” Shizune says.

“She needs time, Yumiko,” Tsunade says. “There’s just so much going on in that girl’s mind right now. We shouldn’t push her.”

Yumiko’s palms grow sweaty as the air in the room begins feeling thinner. Her heart is pounding in her chest. Kakashi steps back when he realizes she’s trying to get up. She’s on her feet in a second, and heading towards the door.

Despite being out on the quiet street she, her head is buzzing. All this way they’ve come to find Tamako, and yet Tsunade had the audacity to send them away without even seeing her. All the years she spent trying to be a good sister, sensei, and guardian culminate to this.

“I told Tsunade we’ll be staying in the village until we get word from the Hokage,” Kakashi’s voice joins the buzzing. “She’s agreed to stay put until then as well.”

“Thank you, Kakashi,” Yumiko manages to say despite the lump in her throat.

“This is ridiculous,” Ezume groans. “We’ve come all this way!”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Akina suggests.

Although she’s trying to stay hopeful that Tamako might come home, she knows deep down it’s not happening. If Tsunade sent word to Hiruzen, he wouldn’t deny her. Especially since she’s training Tamako now.

“Maybe you both should go get some food,” Kakashi says to Ezume and Akina.

They both look at Yumiko, awaiting official permission. She’s too lost in thought to notice, so Kakashi shoos them away. She sits down on the steps entering the inn, watching as Akina and Ezume leave. Kakashi sits down beside her.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Yumiko finds herself asking him. Her voice is so small and weak she doesn’t recognize it as her own.

He’s surprised when he realizes the question is directed at him. Carefully he raises his hand to her shoulder, when he doesn’t receive a static shock he lets his hand rest. For a moment she tenses, but then looks up at him with the question still burning in her eyes.

“Whatever you want to do,” he says finally. “I’m with you every step of the way.”

Yumiko doesn’t know what to make of his words except for the immense amount of comfort she feels.

She smiles weakly, “Thank you.”

It was Kakashi’s turn to tense up when she leaned against him. His hand drags along her back as she moves, now resting on the opposite shoulder with his arm around her back. Her head rests on his shoulder as she tries to keep herself calm. It’s quiet and still for a moment. She feels her brain slow down a bit. Kakashi relaxes as well, finding himself soothing his thumb along her shoulder blade.

“Y’know, I’m kind of glad the Hokage sent you,” she confesses quietly.

“Hm, why’s that?”

“I don’t think Guy would be particularly comforting in this situation,” she laughs.

Kakashi tilts his head so he can look at her, “Am I?”

She laughs, “Surprisingly.”

They sit in silence for a long time. As Yumiko spots Akina and Ezume bouncing towards them, she feels Kakashi’s arm drop from around her. She scoots over a bit, creating a space between them. Ezume didn’t seem to notice, but Akina’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

“Look,” Ezume holds up an armful of snacks. “I got everyone some snacks!”

Akina tilts her head to the side as she continues studying her sensei. Ezume hands out bags of chips and pastries.

“Yumiko-sensei, would you go shopping with me?” Akina asks while Yumiko shoves some chips in her mouth. All Yumiko can do is nod as she crunches on them.

“It might be a nice distraction,” Yumiko says after swallowing the chips down.

“I’m gonna stay here in case Tamako comes out,” Ezume declares while sitting down on the opposite side of Kakashi. Yumiko and Kakashi have to stand up to let people up the stairs.

“Maybe that’s not a good idea,” Kakashi says to him. “We’ve already spoken with Tsunade. We’re just waiting for word from the Hokage.”

Ezume crosses his arms, “I’m not leaving without seeing her.”

“You could make things worse,” Yumiko tries to reason with him.

“How can you give up so easily?”

Yumiko sighs, “I’m not giving up, Ezume. But if this is what she wants, and it’s approved by the Hokage there’s nothing to be done.”

Akina steps forward and reaches out to tug on Ezume’s sleeve, “Come with us. It’ll be fun.”

“I’m not going shopping,” Ezume snaps at her. “I’m staying here.”

Kakashi sighs, “I’ll stick around.”

Akina tugs on Ezume’s sleeve again, “Come on, Ezume. It’ll be fun if you’ll just come along.”

He yanks his arm away from her, “I’ve already told you I’m not coming.”

“Come on, Akina,” Yumiko places her hand on Akina’s shoulder. “Let’s just go.”

Akina wanders with Yumiko into shop after shop, not exactly satisfied with anything. Most of them are filled with floral dresses and kimonos. Akina tries on some, but her excitement for shopping seems to have faded after her argument with Ezume. Even when Yumiko offers to let Akina pick some things out for her, Akina just shrugs.

Finally, with her stomach growling, Yumiko takes her by the wrist to drag her to the nearest cafe for lunch. Once they’re at a table, Yumiko reaches out to touch her hand. Akina looks down with a sigh.

“What’s going on?” Yumiko asks quietly. “Let’s talk about it.”

Akina sighs, “I don’t understand why Ezume loves Tamako so much. She’s never paid him any attention at all.”

Yumiko feels her posture stiffen. Dealing with romantic feelings has never exactly been her strong suit. She doesn’t have much to go on. She developed her first crush at 6, and spent the next six years of her life trying to fight him…

“Ezume is a very loyal person. His feelings wouldn’t be swayed easily,” Yumiko offers.

Akina looks up at Yumiko finally, tears welling up in her eyes. Her hands fidget with the napkin in front of her.

“But I’ve been here the whole time, and he’s never even noticed me. Y’know, like a girl. I try so hard just to be noticed.”

Yumiko thanks the waitress who sets their food down. She’s grateful for the momentary distraction to try to decide how to proceed with the conversation. However, once they’re alone again she’s panicked to discover she still doesn’t know the answer. Akina is waiting patiently, hoping for some words of wisdom from her sensei.

“Maybe your time is coming?” Yumiko suggests. “Sometimes people need time to come to terms with the pain they feel before they can open up.”

Akina sighs, “I don’t mean to sound like I didn’t want Tamako to come back, because I did. But now that she’s with Lady Tsunade, maybe I have a chance?”

Yumiko smiles, “Maybe so.”

“Oh, are we having a little girl talk? Perhaps I could join.” Tsunade’s voice interrupts them. She takes a seat beside Akina across from Yumiko.

“What can I do for you?” Yumiko asks harshly.

“Calm down there, Sparky. I just want to talk,” Tsunade rolls her eyes. “As two people that care about Tamako we should understand each other.”

“I just want to know where all this caring for her was when I was a teenager struggling to raise her.”

Tsunade looks down at her folded hands, “You’re right. I should’ve been there for you both.”

Yumiko is taken aback by the confession. She tries to conjure up more anger, but there is none. She can see Tsunade’s genuine regret written in her eyes.

“I am sorry, Yumiko. I wasn’t there after your parent’s died, but I can help now. Think of it this way, the longer she’s with me the less likely she is to go running to trouble. If you forced her back to the village, she’d always be looking for another way out.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Yumiko sighs. She’s a little bitter about having to admit it after all the issues Tsunade has been the center of on this mission.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Yumiko. It’s just that you were always so strong. You seemed to be able to handle anything.”

Yumiko looks down, but looks up again when she hears Tsunade laugh.

“Akina, you should’ve seen her. She was such a small kid, but she was always trying to fight with other kids. Especially Kakashi.”

Akina’s eyes light up, “Oh, this I have to hear.”

Yumiko shakes her head, “We shouldn’t-”

“He never took her up on it,” Tsunade smirks.

“He did once,” Yumiko shudders.

“What happened?” Akina asks.

Tsunade is equally curious, “Yeah, what did happen? I never knew of this.”

“It happened after you left,” Yumiko looks down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Tsunade shrugs. “Fair enough. We all have our regrets.”

“Well, they sure don’t fight anymore,” Akina wiggles her eyebrows.

“Hmm, I imagine not,” Tsunade smirks.

“Speaking of, we should probably get back to Kakashi and Ezume,” Yumiko sighs.

She leaves money on the table for their lunch and stands up. Akina groans as she stands up. Tsunade still has her smirk on her face as she watches the two girls leave.

“Why don’t you like talking about the fight? You usually tell me everything,” Akina raises an eyebrow as they walk.

“It just wasn’t a very good thing…”

Yumiko tries to push it out of her mind. The terrible things people say to one another out of anger can be paralyzing. Akina can see the seriousness of the topic, so decides to drop it.

When they get back to the inn, Kakashi and Ezume are no longer sitting on the steps. Yumiko groans as she turns on her heels to scan the surrounding area. Finally, she spots the silver haired shinobi across the street. He sits on a bench reading while Ezume is sitting next to him eating.

As soon as they approach, Kakashi holds out a scroll for Yumiko. She knows without looking what it is, but nonetheless she unrolls it to read the words anyway. As expected it was an order to return to the village, signed by the Hokage.

“So,” Yumiko sighs. “Looks like we should head home.”

[bluescarfvivi]

@dxfiedfxte | continued from here: x 

Kindness, concern, and above all companionship brought this blue-scarfed investigator knocking on her fellow co-worker’s front door. Her satchel overflowed of spooky, wholesome goodies catered towards his niche interests as well as her own favorites. It’d be a good night for indoor fun, with plenty of planned distractions and diversions away from his recent work. 

It’s extremely terrifying. 

An investigator’s job involved precise planning, careful organization, and above all, prepping safety precautions. Those categorized in the field of paranormal/supernatural understood the risks when stepping into or exploring a highly volatile, dangerous area. Even with a thorough plan, crew members’ consent, and repetitive safety procedures, not a single person could predict the outcome of an investigation. 

It didn’t matter whether you stepped into your very first case, or if you were considered a novice. Paranormal phenomena was unpredictable. Even Vivi and her team experienced numerous close-calls in their time. That’s not counting one of their very early encounters inside that....cave....

Memories could accurately record the story, but body scars told how intense or dangerous...or how a person managed to survive a cold, sudden death. Vivi had been guilty of using those same tactics as Minato, egging and angering those entities either for evidence or simply to prove her own worth. More times than not, it left Vivi with various nasty marks on her own body...but in the end, she always thought better having the leader take the hit than another team member.

It’s not a good mindset, but it kept the others safe, and so Vivi adopted that in her regiment. Only used in times of dire situations. This night may prove to be a good distraction for both the bluenettes. Past experiences and failures wouldn’t get the better of this girl. Plus, the main focus fell on cheering up Minato. Nothing else.    

Vivi raised her hand up again, trying for a second knock but heard his muffled voice shout on the other end. Immediately she entered the male bluenette’s home, closing the door and shutting it tight then sweeping over towards the living room. As soon as Vivi stepped into that space, she felt an intense, grim air choking the other investigator. It’s worse than she thought. Good call on her, getting here as soon as she got home from her day job. 

“Hey...” She spoke softly, hinting a nervous tone. No response. Not even a quiet greeting. Understandable considering his erratic behavior from the latest investigation. It must have scared him straight to the core. She came here to help alleviate those thoughts, so her resolve wouldn’t falter even if he showed no interest. 

“I uh...I’m sorry if I didn’t call or message you ahead of time. I came over here as soon as I got home from my day job.” Her satchel slid off her shoulder, slumping against the coffee table. Vivi retrieved a stack of DVDs, a few single-packed snacks, and even a large blanket with cartoon ghost. How something so small held so many items, you’d never figure out why. “I brought over some...of your favorites and mine...since I figured you uh...um....” 

How to evade conversation about his recent investigation without actively bringing it up...

“...well...anyways, I brought over some spooky movies, even those cheesy parody ones...mostly because I like making fun of them, and there’s the entire Gravity Falls series which is a classic...but we don’t have to watch everything, if you don’t-”

Once everything splayed on the table, Vivi rose up to be met by two arms and an immense warmth capturing her in Minato’s desperate hold. It did catch her by surprise, so while contemplating the sudden move the words he whispered made her instinctively react. 

He didn’t want to be alone...the thoughts, the grief, the memories must have been plaguing him all this time. 

Vivi tugged him closer into her embrace. No words exchanged, only silent breathing and listening to the quickened heartbeat pounding against his chest. Her arms kept gridlock, squeezing tightly as if it could expel all that sadness and worry straight from his body. Get rid of it so she saw him smile, or hear him tell her he’s okay. There’s no doubt, she wouldn’t leave him. Not tonight. 

“...of course.” Vivi answered him muffled through her scarf. While one arm kept secure, the other gently ran circles across his lower back. Soothing rhythms helping to comfort Minato. “I’ll stay for as long as you need me...” She wouldn’t be letting him go anytime soon, either. Not until he felt satisfied. 

[semi-imaginary-place]

I started watching deca-dence

1: oh what was that called. there’s a name for this tech aesthetic.... also the city is floating on monster goo which is also their energy resource... is that really a good design?????? why is there open access to the monster goo i mean those kids are totally going to fall in. Oh boss dude’s a super secret agent thing. lots of reveals this ep. That action sequence at the end was really cool but wow i do not like those squishing sound effects. also, of all the livestock to raise, why cows??? per pound of protein, cows are horribly inefficient especially when land and resources like water are scare.

2. We have a post apocalyptic society and they kept bagpipes of all things??? I’ve noticed this in fiction and perhaps this is true of real life but sustained conflict coincides with the glorification of the warrior/soldier social class. oh god and now the creators are doing a post moderist take, yay capitalism. this is a good take on the isekai “transported to a game world”/mmo lightnovel genre (see past post). what makes something “real” I was playing of a ttrpg around that concept... mikey’s got all the flags to die horrifically and be part of kaburagi’s tragic backstory. lol kaburagi got turned into a mod. There’s also something dehumanizing and horrifying in managing a society like this all to maintain the status quo. so let’s see if I have this straight, the remnants of capitalism made deca-dence and then a bunch of little robot people who are incentivized via a game system to destroy the squishy monsters. the city design makes sense now it wasn’t made with things like safety or efficiency or any regard for the residents in mind, it was made to look cool. Living in a fuel tank is exactly the type of bullshit to expect from a videogame.

3: kurenai has the vibes of that one cool npc that the the main character out grows to show how strong you’ve become. (the trope is rife with misogyny. who was the one that talked about it? ... femfreq?), wonder what the show will do with it. good job deconstructing the instant expert trope. lit. unregulated capitalism. what is corporations replaced government but for little cyborg people. curious about this minato guy. the 175 years until decommission or whatever makes me wonder how long all of this has been going on. on the screen with the eurasia bubble, were other structures, so i wonder whats happening elsewhere in the world.

4. the game trailer style shots.... the juxtaposition of the tankers discussing battle strategy for a life or death situation, with the cyborgs excited for the next raid event and talking about the game’s story is real good. its a revolving door of mood whiplash. oof dramatic irony since the entertainment corp also seems to control gadoll numbers. Why do none of the Power wear armor? oh right aesthetics and game logic, i answered my own question. I was thinking about this for a little while but kaburagi really does have the set up to be an isekai/mmo light novel protag so I’m really glade we have natsume as well. If done improperly her character type can get kind of annoying, the show did a good job of humanizing her which is important since so much of the disconnect between a game world and a lived reality hinges on her. why isn’t altitude sickness a problem for anyone?

5. yikes. saved twice within the first 10 minutes. maybe dont charge in there natsume. and it was the cool lady too! oh shit limit release. now the stakes are up. isnt kaburagi totally going to get his little head chopped off and the his little green battery extracted.

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6. I’ve always had a soft spot for the struggle against the inevitable and unmovable. i was wondering how they were managing the squishies population. just where is this lake? what weird ass hazing system has kaburagi ended up in... is this the slow part of the anime? where they save up frames for the finale?

7. i just realized that kaburagi purposefully chose dog faced characters twice in a row. like he can choose to look like whatever he wants and he good, i feel comfortable looking like this. good for him. How did they punch a hole in the wal anyways, mechanically? with gadoll? We’ve see that they can either change the projection surrounding deca-dence, or actually have full control of all material int he bubble. oh kabu-san you are finally starting to think. but its not the gadoll that are the root of the problem, its the deca-dence system. btw since cyborgs run on the green juice which i think is made from gadolls??? how does kabu plan on fueling everyone. he hasn’t thought about it has he. of course the gadoll have a kill switch. do the tankers have one...?

8. a setup episode. my heart was racing during the avatar retrieval part, so much tension. jill is great. not sure why kaburagi doesnt just tell natsume whats going on. i do think it’d be a shock and a lot to take in just like when the gadoll reset on the mountain, but it’d make coordinating much easier. as is taking her along while not telling her whats going on doesnt feel right. also the green slanty eyed cyborgs given me bad vibes from the start, after all he’s the one that told mikey about removing the limiter. I’m kinda sad we only have 12 episodes so we have to enter the finale already. i would have loved to see the tanker teams, natsume and fei, and minato and kaburagi relationships fleshed out.

9. YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER. so she would have time to process all that world shaking information not in the middle of the operation when it could cost her her life! also doesn’t this mean all the cyborgs still alive are now trapped in the waste disposal place.

10. i totally forgot about that tunnel. that said it looks kinda fragile, how’d it survive the explosion? And how did the robo crew get a hideout?? jill is amazing. she’s like a wizard. Natsume just doesn’t get a break, no ones explained to her the cyborg-avatar thing. I’m too invested in this show to analyze anything.

11. holy shit i wonder what the last few episodes were going to be about. they’re going to black hole the whole place. also we can finally hear pipopi! I thought it a bit funny pruple nose seemed to be taking advice for them but really eh was taking orders? so minato did the tremendously stupid thing of logging out and then hopping on a shuttle to get from orbit to deca-dence so he could talk to kaburagi face to face. even if they take out the gadoll, that doesn’t stop the deca0dence system from having a kill switch on the bubble.

12. POMDOROSA DID THE END SCENE ART. it really is 7 degrees of separation, they have a tumblr here. right as the natsume flashbacks started, I knew what was going to happen. Was it really safe inside the drill thing?? ah whatever. Kaburagi really went all out and busted himself huh. He probably didn’t actually need to use so much force that it’d break decadence. ah I’m rambling. I binged watched this show in 1 day. i started tearing up at the natsume flahsbacks... I dont remember what i just watched it was pure experience. I do wonder whats happening on other continents.. Jill! I can’t believe it took you 3 years to organize your files and find kaburagi’s backup! well i mean its realistic but still.

Deca-Dence is very good, like not even talking about the thematic stuff the execution in both animation and writing are both really good.