#anyway this season started off with some very grounded political drama

[callipraxia]

oh, ALSO--📓. tell away, friend.

Ooh, don’t mind if I do…Though I’m unsure how much sense 2/3 of this will make, as while there are some GF daydream fics, the ultimate daydream fics are for completely different fandoms.

One would be to pick up where the S2 (and, ultimately, series) finale of Marvel’s Agent Carter left off, and write season 3 through Whatever Season Ended Up Getting Us To Whatever I Decided Felt Like A Good Stopping Point. I don’t know enough Marvel lore to even attempt such a thing, but…a dream’s a dream, I suppose. First I’d have to decide if <character who gets shot in the last few seconds of the last episode> died or not, and S3 would presumably involve a lot of investigation into that; overall, it would probably serve the plot best to kill the guy, alas, and then you get the opportunity for a murder investigation, meddling feds now that one of their main means of controlling the SSR is dead, an excuse to get the survivors back to New York…then, if we run with the theory that the “M. Carter” file Jack tried to blackmail Peggy with in S2 was actually about Michael Carter instead of Margaret, we get to throw in some epic family drama plus more angst for Peggy now that her love life is mostly resolved…except for how a sort of prototype of Black Widow is still on the loose and certainly feels…some kind of way about Peggy, anyway. Plus the mob may be after her as well for the outcome of the whole Whitney Frost thing, and…etc etc.

If anything, the other two absolute daydreams would be even harder to pull off. One is a War and Peace-style epic about the first Voldemort war from the Potterverse - politics and violence and angst and motive decay and moral ambiguity and good and indifferent people slowly going different flavors of bad and betrayals and an excuse to show off that I used to study Russian and all that kind of good stuff. So, War and Peace with more pretentiousness, less humor, and pseudo-Dostoyevskian themes. Plus I’d soft retcon various stupid bits of canon, fix up bits that were handled in the most boneheaded fashion possible, etc.

As for the third…this requires some backstory to make any sense, I’m afraid, so I shall write some here. Once upon a time, the Harry Potter executives tried to make a knockoff of Pokémon Go. Never played it (I’ve never been much of one for games), but I read the guidebook in the grocery store one day and the framing device story *fascinated* me. A group of witches and wizards, apparently completely unconnected, all vanished into thin air one day in London. The trouble came in because one of them was a *very* well-connected sort of person: she was an Auror herself, and her mentors had been Harry and this other guy high up in the Department of Mysteries. Her husband was also an employee of the DoM, a guy whose speciality was in translating ancient languages and studying unregulated, unstable forms of magic. Said husband had also been orphaned during the Battle of Hogwarts in book 7, when he was about 12, and while he had seemed to take that pretty much in stride, he went off the deep end when a) his wife vanished, with the supposed best investigators in the world unable to find anything but her cracked wand lying on the ground without explanation and b) he realized there was a government conspiracy afoot to sweep the whole matter under the rug, as the unexplained disappearances had become politically…inconvenient for certain high-ranking persons. So the guy tried to press things through more or less legitimate channels for a while, but when he was told he was losing his mind, that it was time to move on, etc…that went poorly. Instead, he disappeared, just about the time magical sites in Prague and Japan started complaining about thefts and something went catastrophically wrong with the Stuff Wizards Use To Prevent Detection, leaving magical sites exposed, magical creatures wandering around the mundane world, and, oddest of all, people’s memories just sort of cropping up, completely free of context, in inexplicable places all over Britain. And then they went through the guy’s things and find out he had gotten it into his head that he could combine some ancient magics, one of them possibly connected to the infamous Love Room in the DoM and one of them said to help you find what you want most regardless of the impossibility of it being found….

Alas, the game apparently flopped in every respect besides backstory and the story was never finished, and so I would love to novelize the heck out of it. Only trouble is the same as with Agent Carter: I do not feel capable of coming up with a good enough ending with the amount of information to lead in with that I have. With Gravity Falls, there is already a good ending, and for some reason, this makes me feel much freer somehow? Like, I didn’t have to come up with Bill’s plan to write FWJB, I just had to think through how a diversion of the timeline would affect its implementation/everyone else’s efforts to thwart it. I’d be plunging into dramatically uncharted waters with any of these daydream-projects, and the fact I happen to know a fair bit about magic in the ancient world on top of knowing the Potter magic system (such as it is) inside and out would…probably actually hinder things further, as very few people other than me would be likely to find the research-heavy bits remotely interesting.

In Gravity Falls ideas that will never happen, though…y’know how we all agree s2 is full of absolute brilliance that suffers in places from the storyline being too tightly compressed? I wanna decompress it. By that, I mean “write the episodes between the bits we saw” - go back into s2a and flesh out…I dunno. Definitely our government boys’ plot line, anyways. McGucket’s plot line. What-have-you. Then, once I had enough extra episodes to fill out s2, treat either NWHS or ATOTS as the s2 Finale, then take s2b, fit in the two Lost Legends stories that seem to fall in that part of the timeline as two more episodes, and then…write more episodes, until I have a hypothetical s3/August of twenty episodes to go with s1 and the filled-out s2a, which would now just be s2. Flesh out Pacifica’s redemption, and whatever the heck Gideon was up to, and Stan’s psychological spiraling, etc, all leading up the canon final quartet of episodes. It’s possible some of these ideas could make it to one-shots someday, but the overarching project seems, much like my ideas for doing unholy things to the premise of Relativity Falls, too ambitious to pull off. Ditto, actually, for full-blown sequels to FWJB set in either of the two ‘good’ timelines - and, for that matter, the ‘mundane’ variants of the ‘bad’ timeline, though a direct sequel to the ‘chapter 26’ timeline is…not out of the question. It keeps trying to develop in my mind, lately, to the point of writing those scenes the other week where Ford got killed and adult!Mabel unexpectedly entered the plot….

But first I gotta finish Tracey’s Journal. And the saga of Ford, who is definitely not a wizard, teaching at Hogwarts in 1989 or thereabouts. And I’m several books deep in research for the mother of all essay projects…as in, I might end up writing a nonfiction book about GF at this rate. And etc etc etc.

[victorieschild]

After 3 seasons we have finally reached an episode I haven’t seen before,,, and it was WILD

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[sardinesandhumbugs]

i would be very interested in learning more about horwood (derogatory) if you're interested in explaining?

okay so

so William Horwood was is (apparently he’s still alive and kicking in his 70s) a writer who wrote perhaps the best-known sequel to The Wind in the Willows in 1993: The Willows in Winter. (He wrote three more following after it: Toad Triumphant, The Willows and Beyond, and The Willows at Christmas, but the first one is the one most will be familiar with due to the 1996 movie.)

(He wasn’t the first person to write a sequel to WitW; that honour goes to Dixon Scott in 1983 with A Fresh Wind in the Willows although that had some funky copyright issues) 

The Willows in Winter does its best to mimic the style of the original book, and to some extent it does succeed. It is, however, still essentially published fanfiction and, as such, it has some wonderful ‘misses’ that I will mock this 27-yo story for. (I admittedly kinda love the movie it was adapted into, so this is all done with the same kind of ribbing my friends lovingly bestow upon me after I walk into glass walls or eat notably dodgy apples like some modern-day snow white)

These misses include but are not limited to:

awkward character decisions 

These Characters Are Aggressively Not Gay 

But Sometimes It Will Read Very Gay Anyway 

hilarious character names

I Will (Almost) Kill Mole Multiple Times

Sometimes Twice In The Same Book

you will read “The Water Rat” more than you ever did in witw

Rat has river-speaking abilities now  

Badger has one (1) response to “someone has vanished” and it’s to organise a funeral

Rat sees heaven for, like, a moment

Toad nearly gets hanged 

Anyway, because I have A Lot of thoughts about the book, here’s a spoiler-inclusive breakdown of the plot for your enjoyment below the cut: 

The story starts with Mole’s nephew who we will call “Nephew” for the sole fact that Horwood never deigns to give him any other name. (I have been reliably informed that the next story has Badger’s grandson creatively named... Grandson, just in case anyone thought this might be a one-off.)  

It has been... an indistinguishable number of years since the original book, and Horwood decided the natural character development for the polite and loyal Mole is for him to have become a grumpy old soul who has been passing his recently orphaned Nephew around his friends because he doesn’t like company. 

The biggest issue Mole has is that he erroneously told Nephew that he could stay “as long as [he] wants” and, well, you have to see this for yourself: 

...for ‘as long as you want’ soon feels like a life sentence to a bachelor like Mole, unused to sharing his home with another for more than an evening at a time. 

(Mole is a Bachelor, okay? He’s definitely not accustomed to living whole seasons with Ratty, to the point that he nearly forgets what his own home looks like.)

So Mole is beginning to think that perhaps Nephew isn’t The Worst Thing Ever when Portly turns up in the middle of a horrible snow storm and, in attempting to warm him up, Nephew gives him too much alcohol and promptly sends Portly off to sleep, but not before he imparts that he came running all this way because Rat said that he needed Mole. 

So Mole heads out into the terrible snow storm, gets to the River, and carves his will into a tree because this is Horwood’s fanfic and he can write angst if he wants to, dammit! And, naturally, everything goes wrong. a la Don’t Carry It All style.

You may be saying, oh plot! This sounds dramatic! I regret to inform you that Rat was not, in fact, in danger, but was actually just snowed in with Otter and drunkenly remarked that it’d be so much jollier if Mole joined them (no homo), and then carried getting so drunk that neither of them realised that Portly was gone until three days later. 

[A helpful comic illustrating Otter’s parental abilities]

(This is, of course, the same Portly for whom Otter spent days trying to find in The Piper At the Gates of Dawn chapter of the original book. Turns out his  parental approach has drastically changed since then.)  

After some searching, they find Mole’s will carved into the tree and deduce that Mole attempted to cross the frozen river and failed and they decide to leave off searching until it’s light again. In the meantime, we get this lovely passage that I actually adore for how tender it is: 

The Water Rat knew a night of shadows and half-dreams, memories of Mole in the hot afternoon sun of summer, reflecting upon life. Such remembrances tormented the poor Rat till dawn came once more and he stared bleakly out of the window, tears trickling down his face, listening to the quiet bustle of the other three round the corner in the kitchen. 

During all of this, Toad has discovered a love of flying machines (biplanes, to you and me) and the Riverbankers claim use of his newest one to search for Mole. Long story short, Toad tricks his way into being the pilot, flies so badly that he unseats Rat (who manages to deploy his parachute in time, but has a near-death experience beforehand) and then crashes the plane into a greenhouse in town. 

The other Riverbankers find Rat, who has survived his fall (even if he has seen Beyond the Veil) and he’s currently Talking to the River (Horwood decided to take the “water” part of Rat’s name as a personality trait) and Rat assures the Riverbankers that Mole isn’t dead because the River Said So.

Badger is like, cool, cool, okay he’s suffered a mental break from losing Mole, and possibly Toad too, so we’re going to do the sensible thing and host a funeral for Mole. (Have I mentioned how much they are definitely straight?) 

Anyway, in a move that would make any soap opera green with envy, Mole manages to find his way back to the Riverbank just in time to crash his own funeral, scaring everyone witless until they realise their mistake. (I did say this was published fanfiction.) Everyone is happy, Mole is not dead, and life goes merrily on. 

Meanwhile, Toad has had a few misadventures, that include: 

crashing into a greenhouse that belongs to the judge who sentenced him in the original book

somehow no one realises he’s Toad, so he stays in bed as the heroic pilot who risked life and limb to stop his plane from crashing into the town

escaping disguised as a chimney sweep

turning up to a wedding that the judge was attending and getting arrested

being accused of murdering the missing chimney sweep 

being sentenced to be hanged for murdering the missing chimney sweep

being acquitted from the crime when it turns out the chimney sweep is still alive

(Yes, Horwood really went, hey I should raise the stakes from the original, and then put Toad on trial for murder under threat of hanging.) 

(If what I’ve heard about the later books, Horwood decided that what the Extended WitW Universe was missing was an overarching antagonist, which he rectifies by having the judge return several times.)

Toad is set on his way and he slowly returns back to the Riverbank, mostly because he’s under the impression that not only is Mole dead, but that he probably killed Rat too (this is a Fun Kid’s Book) whereupon he eventually discovers that, uncared for, Toad Hall has fallen into flooded ruin. He mopes and drinks and lights candles before toddling off to Badger’s home, where Badger is having a thoroughly miserable party that has pretty much turned into a Mourning Toad party and they all celebrate Toad’s return. There’s even a sweet moment:

Toad, very drunk and sad: What am I, Badger? Badger: You are home, Toad.

And then in the last two minutes of the book, Toad Hall burns to the ground because Horwood couldn’t resist a last-minute sprinkling of drama into the story.

(Also, also, the last few lines of the book seems to imply that the name of “The Mole” is something that’s inherited like the title of Caesar was, and Nephew will one day be The Mole and I can’t get over that.)

The End. 

Anyway, Horwood is evidence that fanfic writers have always gone, “I can add angst to this,” and that you really shouldn’t feel so bad about that edgy OOC fanfic you wrote when you were 13 because it turns out some people go and get theirs published.

And that’s why some of us have “Horwood (Derogatory)” as a meme. 

[shepherds-of-haven]

College!Au of Shepherd members? What likely are they (i.e. jock, player in the soccer team, bad-boy, the clichès.)? definitely not thinking of writing an au, and im certainly not thinking of maybe making a small edit about it. nOt aT aLl cApTAiN

Hi there! Have you seen the college AU asks? This one is pretty detailed about what kind of students they are, and this one is more succinct with their majors/minors! But I’m always happy to go more in-depth about AUs! 😉

In my imagination, Blade, Trouble, and Chase were suite-mates freshman year and get an apartment together when they’re not living on campus. (Halek, Red, and Riel are also roommates and then Riel can’t stand living in a dorm anymore so he buys a townhome with his family’s money and allows Halek and Red to live there to give himself some semblance of a social life.)

Blade is the scion of a very wealthy family who’s expected to take over the family business one day. Instead he majors in Criminal Justice and--in my imagination--secretly aims to become either a detective or a prosecutor because he suspects his family is involved with criminal organizations. He’s generally quiet, solemn, broody, and troubled (just like in the game lol) and is only dragged out to do “normal” college things by Trouble and Chase’s persistence! He’s in the fencing club and also goes to a mixed martial arts gym off-campus, sometimes with Trouble, which also happens to be the one Briony goes to. 

Trouble is in ROTC and majors in mechanical engineering, with dreams of joining the Air Force and becoming a pilot after graduation if he can keep his grades up. For some reason I have this idea that he got into this university on a soccer scholarship? He plays guitar and later gets a dog because fuck it, he’s always wanted one, and he’s rebuilding an old motorcycle in his spare time at this garage where his old school friends work. He definitely wears bomber jackets and letterman jackets like, a lot. He’s very popular and considered a “jock,” but a friendly one! He has an English class with Red and a math class with Riel, going to both of their study groups and then driving them crazy because he either doodles instead of studying or texts. Part-time, I feel like he delivers pizzas for some reason...

Chase is the third part of their trio and is more lax about his studies than the other two (which is a bad influence on Trouble). He does not talk at all about his family or home life and generally spends the holidays with either Blade or Trouble’s families. He’s an undeclared major and has no idea what he wants to do after college and is not worrying about it. He pays smart kids to do his homework for him, so he has an excellent GPA, much to the class president’s (Riel) fury. He’s part of a frat but doesn’t actually drink at parties, more concerned that everyone’s having a good time and making fun memories than he is about himself. He doesn’t allow any scummy behavior in the frat and secretly, on a whim, auditioned for a student play and is surprisingly very into it, to the point where he asks Briony and Trouble for help with his lines. After throwing a huge party where [x] happens, he starts a group chat with everybody involved in this story and it’s sort of how they all become friends, even though many of them already knew each other individually. Oh, and he’s very into Tinder, much to the chagrin of his other two roommates.

I think Briony, Ayla, and Lavinet are also roommates, and so are Shery, Tallys, and Mimir. Briony-Ayla-Lavinet’s place (BAL? Brionaylavi?) is Party Central, whereas Shery-Tallys-Mimir’s place (STM? Shallir?) is Quiet Coffee-Drinking Art Loft Sometimes Hipster Slam Poetry Book Clubs Central. 

Briony is either a journalism student or a law student, I can’t really decide. She takes a lot of extracurriculars at their university as a way to blow off steam, including a painting class (which is where she met Shery) and a horseback riding class, because why not? She has been training at the same mixed martial arts gym since she was a teenager, and she starts bringing Ayla and Lavinet there so they can defend themselves when they’re not altogether. Despite her cheerful attitude and popularity around campus, she seems to be running from a past back in her hometown that she doesn’t talk to anyone about, not even her closest friends: an obsessive ex and a dark past are just some of the things she doesn’t want catching up to her. Sometimes she earns part-time money covering shifts at the cafe Shery works at. 

Ayla is a journalism/communications student who will later switch majors to hospitality and hate it. She gives wilderness tours and white-water-rafting tours in the summers as a seasonal job and plays volleyball on the university team during the spring seasons and track and field during the fall. Her grades are abysmal and she goes to the tutoring center often for help, which is how she meets Red and Riel. She rides a Vespa around town and also attends the yoga class that Tallys teaches. Yes she wears leather jackets and occasionally beanies. She was too cheap to a buy a meal plan at the university cafeteria so she often skims from others or uses their extra meals before the week runs out. She is a lover of junk food and crams their apartment pantry with all manner of chips, soda, ramen, packaged mac and cheese, and etc! She also definitely games. 

Lavinet is a wealthy socialite daughter of the CEO and founder of a huge conglomerate: think a Paris Hilton, but more grounded. She’s majoring in business and political science, being groomed to take over her father’s role, but she wants a taste of “normal” life before that happens. All of her rich friends from high school thinks she’s slumming it with the other kids, but Lavinet’s having the time of her life. She tries not to stand out too much, but she unconsciously does, anyway: wearing designer coats and sunglasses to class, driving a flashy convertible, and keeping her books in a high-end handbag, because backpacks are “schlubby.” She means well but can sometimes be a bit of a drama queen to her roommates. She also loves juicy gossip and eats it up! She has been known to take her roommates’ phones and flirt for them with potential dates. She has a popular vlog and Instagram account, which I imagine is how Briony’s dark past catches up to her. She loves to get coffee at the shop that Shery and sometimes Briony work at and always seems to have a latte in her hand. She can point at any given person and name what lipstick they would be if they were one. She’s fairly good at her studies and loves to be in charge of study groups and gets into a war with another girl who tries to ‘poach’ her study partners. She absolutely takes French and fashion design classes and heads all over campus turn when she walks past!

Red, Riel, and Halek live in what is known as the “Nerd House.” Red is pretty much always at coffee shops and libraries, studying and reading, so much so that he doesn’t notice multiple other students checking him out in his rolled-up sweater sleeves and messenger bag. He’s got a bit of an “Academic Hipster” vibe and definitely has hipster tastes in music and books. He goes to poetry readings at cafes (of which Mimir is a staple) and goes on a lot of first dates that don’t lead anywhere, giving him the reputation of either a really picky person or a playboy. Does he wear glasses? Absolutely. Is it because he needs them? Probably not. On some subconscious level he is probably aware that he looks smart and cute in them. Sometimes he plays pickup soccer with Trouble’s practice team (he played in high school) when he realizes he’s been sitting around too long reading and needs to get some blood pumping! He studies philosophy and history as a double-major. 

Riel is the class president and later valedictorian of their class. He majors in math, business and finance, history, and psychology as one of the university’s only “quadruple majors”. He comes from an extremely wealthy family that has donated so much money to the school that many of the buildings have his last name on them. Occasionally he volunteers at the tutoring center, where his worst and most rebellious student is Ayla, who he vows to break. You can often find him in the music building, reserving one of the practice rooms to play beautiful classical piano, which he doesn’t like to play at home with his roommates around. He abhors eating or studying outside because, mysteriously, every time he walks through the quad, a frisbee hits him in the head. He is the head of a business fraternity that is constantly being pranked by Chase’s frat. 

Halek initially attended their university as a Food Science major, but dropped out and now attends the culinary arts institute across the street. (His twin brother, Naolin, goes to a prestigious university across the country and is studying to become a doctor.) He works as a barista at the cafe where Shery and sometimes Briony work as servers: the one with sleepy eyes that you end up spilling your life story to when you sit at the counter to drink your frappe and study. Plays the drums in a band that performs at open-mic nights and owns a tank of fish. In class he was constantly falling asleep at his desk but has no trouble now. Definitely smokes weed in his room occasionally and has a litany of tattoos up and down his forearms and hands (and for that matter, Ayla does too).

Finally, the Art Loft trio, Tallys, Shery, and Mimir, who definitely have a garden on their roof and hang their clothes up to dry in the sun up there, which Lavinet for whatever reason refers to as their “solarium.”

Tallys is a plant biology major who aims to be recruited into the country’s top holistic/nature-based pharmaceutical company. She teaches yoga outside of class to make money (and Ayla and sometimes Lavinet attend her morning classes). For whatever reason I feel like she smokes and looks really freaking cool doing it but decides to quit after a relative has a cancer scare. She enjoys classical music and plays the violin when she can. She is shares cooking duties with Shery and picks her up from her job at the cafe so she doesn’t have to walk home at night, leading many to mistakenly assume they’re girlfriends. She constantly has AirPods/earphones in, listening to music, and rarely speaks to others outside of class. Strangely, she owns a flip phone and owns no social media. 

Shery is a nursing student who loves to cook and bake as a hobby. She’s a natural introvert and prefers to stay in with her roommates, watching TV while she embroiders, or something, but one day she decides she wants to be more social and that’s how she befriends Halek and Briony. She owns a cat who rules the roost in their apartment as well as a hamster. She keeps detailed diaries and also writes poetry, but is too shy to share it with anyone, including Mimir, her roommate who’s an art major. She always wears pastels and very cute clothing and is a straight-A student. Her parents are pretty stingy so she works at a coffee shop, the Haven, as a way to earn money. She’s also helping with costume design for Chase’s play and rides a bike to campus and to work. She’s close with her professors and often visits them during office hours just to chat.

Mimir is an art student who’s making a big splash in the local scene, as she’s regarded as something of a young genius for her bizarre slam poetry and cryptic, surrealistic paintings. She often does readings at the Haven coffee shop during open-mic nights, and she constantly wears a hoodie, even to class. She paints her nails black and rocks that goth artist aesthetic, complete with dark eye makeup and black lipstick. She rarely speaks, but when she does, it’s usually to say something startlingly-insightful or incredibly mysterious. She feeds birds in the main quad on campus, to the point where they recognize her and will fly to her hand. She smells constantly of incense and can sometimes be seen rummaging around in trash cans on campus for her art installations. There is a mysterious cloaked figure on campus who rides a unicycle while blowing on bagpipes that also spew fire that everyone thinks is her, and she only smiles and fades away when anyone asks. 

[josephinemontilyace]

The Morality of Sansa vs. Dany

In the world of GOT/ASOIAF - yes they are different - each character is gray. We have to look into the motives of a character, not only their actions, to determine their moral standing (although sometimes, it’s just bad writing, wink wink D&D).

The fandom has perpetually pitted Sansa and Dany against each other, and I wanted to look more closely at their actions and motivations for the key events that people usually discuss. I’ll be rating these events from -3 (horrendous, selfish, destructive) to +3 (altruistic, selfless, benefit to the greater good). 

Basic example: holding the door open for someone is a +1 because it’s nice, but it’s not a beacon of a deep well of altruism. But good on you, nonetheless.

I want to mention beforehand that I won’t be rating Sansa and Dany’s assassinations of Viserys and Ramsay, respectively, because even though it was murder it’s not like it wasn’t justified. Obviously in this world it would be a bit more complicated of a matter, but for GOT/ASOIAF? I get it. 

I’ll first go over Sansa’s moral accomplishments and, for lack of a better word, “sins”, as well as my -3 to +3 rating.

Sansa’s Moral Accomplishments:

- Defended the will of the North to remain independent (+1)

- Showed good leadership in ensuring that her people would have provisions come the winter and long short night (+1) 

I give both of these a +1 because yeah, these are good, but there are other motives here, too. Sansa wants to protect her family’s legacy as well and ensure her own rise to power. It’s clear that she desires to be Queen in the North. However, I think she would be - and will be, in the show universe - a good queen. 

Overall, Sansa’s moral accomplishments are few and far between, not to her own fault, but because of the reactive nature of her story line. She gets a +2 on morality.

Sansa’s “Sins”:

- Very early on people didn’t like Sansa because of the incident with Joffrey, Arya, and the boy (R.I.P.). She lied to save face for Joffrey. I’d give this a -1. Also, she was a child, so it’s hard to be super pissed at her for that. Like yeah it sucked, but she was a bb. 

- The biggest issue that most people have with Sansa is that she betrayed Jon in season 8 by revealing his parentage after swearing to keep in secret. This was done to get the political results she wanted, even though she knew it would cause drama and that Jon didn’t want it. At least, I assume Jon said he didn’t want it... it’s not like we got to see that scene on screen... This betrayal of trust gets a -3

- Sansa was willing to let Rickon die when she learned what Ramsay was doing. She didn’t even try to save him, or show remorse that she couldn’t. Yikes. At least shed a tear? -2.

- Finally, Sansa was plain rude to Dany when she arrived to Winterfell. I thought that after learning so much about “the game” that Sansa would’ve been more eloquent, but she created a rocky start to the relationship between the two of them. She could’ve worked with Dany to allow some degree of Northern independence. Sansa could’ve been Warden of the North or a governess, something along those lines, but she closed herself off. (Dany isn’t innocent of this either, however, it’s the throne or nothing in her eyes; but I’ll get to her next). Anyway, the rudeness is a -1.

Sansa’s “sins” tally to -7, bringing Sansa’s “morality score” to -5. Now, onto Dany.

Dany’s Moral Accomplishments:

- Dany made sacrifices to help Jon, the North, and all of Westeros - she delayed her quest for the throne in order to fight the White Walkers, and even lost Viserion in the midst of it. I’d give this a +3, as she could have easily said “nah” and gone on to King’s Landing to roast Cersei. 

- Speaking of sacrifice, she locked up her dragons - her children - after they killed an innocent child. However, this was also done to ensure that people didn’t see her as a tyrant, some may say, tempting me to give her a lower score. However, the more I think of it, again she didn’t have to do this. +3.

- Even though her efforts weren’t long-lasting in all situations, she liberated countless slaves. Part of it was political, however, and some see it as a white savior complex; still, she could have easily chosen another path, and chose the harder one in order to save lives. +3 again.

- She freed the Unsullied. Of course, this also gave her an army, so it wasn’t entirely selfless. I’ll give it a +1, totaling +10.

Dany’s “Sins”:

- Okay, this first one doesn’t need parentheses around “sins”: she obliterated King’s Landing. Mostly a result of bad writing, but it happened, so I have to count it. Clearly a -3. You know what? It’s my scale. So many people died needlessly. It’s a -4. 

- Dany brutally killed/scorched dissenters and traitors in what I would argue is an inhumane way (the Tarly’s, for example). However, it’s war, it’s Game of Thrones, and many people execute others in times of war. So it’s a -1.

- Towards the end of season 8, prior to the annihilation of King’s Landing, others were suggesting that she wait before going for the throne, to allow her soldiers to rest and time to strategize (maybe Rhaegal wouldn’t have died). She became selfish and too focused on the end goal, putting up blinders. The ramifications of this choice were pretty catastrophic in the end, but her motivations weren’t overtly cruel. -1. This brings her “sin” tally to -6, and a total morality score of +4.

The Final Scores:

Sansa’s final score was -5. Again, this is partially due to her situation, in that she didn’t have the same opportunities as Dany to create her own path. Still, once she did have the opportunity, she was selfish.

Dany ended up selfish in the end as well, but overall her story was focused more on achieving justice and freedom, her score ending at a +4. 

There aren’t huge differences between Sansa and Dany, in my eyes. Like I said, a lot of it is situational. What if Sansa had ended up with dragons instead? What if Dany had been Cersei’s prisoner? It’s hard to say. 

Ultimately, Dany has the moral high ground. It’ll be interesting to see the differences in the books (may George finish them, I BEG!). If Dany doesn’t destroy King’s Landing in the end (I hope not... please oh please...) she’ll definitively be the more moral character.

Final Thoughts:

I adore both of these characters and, as a survivor of abuse, I see elements of myself in each of them. I was happy for show!Sansa but hope for a much, much better ending for book!Dany.

Please comment your thoughts, I’d love some dialogue! :) 

[sapphireglyphs]

(secrets of an) opaque romance

➵ pairing: do kyungsoo x lalisa manoban ➵ rating: PG-15 / T+ ➵ genre: modern arrange marriage!au-ish, romance, slice-of-life ➵ chapter word count: ~ 38K  ➵ summary: Back by popular demand, MBC brought back “We Got Married” for its 5th season and it looks like the K-pop world was going to get turned on its head when BlackPink’s Lead Dancer gets paired with EXO’s Legendary Lead Vocalist. Between award shows, drama shoots, TV show tapings, dance practices, album promotions, and potential fan riots, these two mega stars will have to juggle their demanding careers and a burgeoning relationship - even of the artificial variety.   ➵ a/n: I remember thinking when I posted episode 1, that there would be absolutely no one who would actually be interested in read this. Thank you so much for the likes and follows! You cannot imagine how much every single one of those mean to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you and please continue to follow Kyungsoo and Lisa’s journey through this story. I hope that it doesn’t disappoint! ♡

Episode 1

Episode #2 - First impressions

Sweat was stinging the corners of his eyes by the time Kyungsoo was about to suggest they take a break rather than just collapse right there in the middle of the practice studio (like Chanyeol was) at the exact moment when the door to the studio opened and two cameramen and the director of “We Got Married” walked in. 

“Ah!” Baekhyun’s face split into a mischievous grin, knowing exactly who they were here for, as the group had been informed earlier that day that the crew from WGM would be in to collect Kyungsoo for the filming of the second episode, “BOOMBAYAH! DAHN-DA-DA-DAHN DA-DA-DAHN-DAHN-DAHH-DA-DA-DAHN! Yeah-yeah-BOOMBAYAH!”

The studio then erupted into chaos as the other members leapt at the opportunity to tease their quietest member. Chanyeol and Jongdae joined Baekhyun in unison, singing the chorus at the top of their lungs, making sure to scream “Oppa!” right at Kyungsoo in high definition surround sound while  Kyungsoo buried his heated face in his hands, trying to get his growing embarrassment under control. Sehun was on the ground laughing uncontrollably as Jongin and Minseok were dancing in the background, way too focused on getting the choreography just right, rather than rag on the main vocalist. Suho tried to bring some semblance of decorum to the room but realizing it was a losing battle, he simply shook his head and went to crouch next to Kyungsoo. The guardian of EXO placed a supportive arm around the younger member’s shoulders, reassuring him that the guys were just being idiots and not to take their teasing seriously. 

By the time, the “Beagle Line” got to the second round of the chorus, Kyungsoo had had quite enough of all of this nonsense and attacked the closest member to him. As it so happens to be Baekyun, who was trying to hair-flip his short locks right into Kyungsoo’s face, he got the full force of the fellow vocalist’s fist in his solar plexus. Kyungsoo sighed in satisfaction at the look of the older man doubled over on the ground, groaning in pain. He stepped over his fallen member and properly greeted the director before he was handed a new brown envelope with that day’s challenge. 

He read it to himself first before he was prompted to read it aloud. The other members listened intently for the reveal of the challenge but Kyungsoo simply tucked the thick paper back into the envelope and suggested to the crew, “Shall we get going?”

As expected, all the members started to whine and heckle at him as he walked over to retrieve his backpack and half empty water bottle. “Come on, man!” Chanyeol cajoled. “Just read the prompt out loud, like you’re supposed to!” A chorus of approval from the other members echoed across the dance studio. 

“No,” Kyungsoo said firmly as he walked towards the door, “Just watch it when it airs, like everybody else.” 

As the rest of them shook their heads in disappointment, Chanyeol turned his back to the door and scoffed over his shoulder, “He’s just wants to quickly run off to see his wife. That’s why he’s in such a ru-OOF!”

The rapper never saw the water bottle fly at him before it made contact with the back of his head. 

- ❥ -

“Can I see it again?” 

Lisa rolled her eyes but still smiled shyly and placed her hand into Rosé’s outstretched palms. She squealed in delight and ogled at the pretty ring, to heck with her dignity! Lisa was sure it would have been like this anyway, even if the cameras weren’t there at the salon. She had arrived there with the girls in-tow straight from morning workout and was currently getting her hair done for the wedding photo shoot before the ceremony later that night. Just the thought of it made Lisa’s palms start to sweat and her heart race in her chest. 

She had regaled the first meeting with the girls in excruciating details over french fries and soju that first night, complete with squeals over the ring and reveal of who had been cast to be her “husband”. 

Lisa looked over at Jennie and then Rosé the moment she said his name. Jennie’s poker face was on a little too tightly as she poured herself another shot. Lisa tried not to read too much into it when Rosé gave her a strange look. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” the other maknae asked. 

Lisa blinked, “Well, aren’t you close to his band mate?”

Rosé tilted her head questioningly, “Who? Chanyeol?” She gave a cackle, “What are you implying? We did one collaboration together, nearly 5 years ago, and he was nothing but polite and professional.”

Jisoo started to laugh, “Why so defensive? She’s just asking if you were close because of the collab.”

“Um, excuse you! You seem to be leaving out the crucial detail that there were two other artists there too! It wasn’t just Park Chanyeol and myself.” Rosé rebutted. 

“You mean, no matter how much you had wished it was?” Lisa said cheekily, with a suggestive wag of her eyebrows. 

The action garnered her a Rilakkuma pillow to the face. 

“Ow! I was just joking.” Lisa muttered in a cute baby voice, rubbing her offended nose. 

“So, what was he like?” Jennie asked as she finished her shot in one go. “Was he ‘award-winning-actor’-like?”

“I’m not sure what means but… hmm…” Lisa chewed thoughtfully on a limp french fry before saying, “He’s quiet… but also rather easy-going. I can tell that he’s very kind… a bit… reserved… and very respectful. He opened every door for me and walked on the street side when we were going to the jewelry shop.”

The girls were the perfect audience members, “aww”-ing and “yah”-ing at all the right moments. It made her less nervous when the episode actually aired that Saturday night and they watched it together over fried chicken. 

They were all commenting how good Lisa and Kyungsoo looked together when the camera shot them walking side by side. It was right when she was mentally scolding herself for not paying attention to him that he had simultaneously asked whether she was listening. Experiencing that moment again from another perspective felt odd, like an out of body experience. The woman on the TV screen that had Lisa’s face was laughing in a charming manner, even grabbing onto his arm while she begged him to repeat himself. Lisa didn’t even remember doing that. She had been so nervous trying not to offend him, she completely went into “adorable defense mode”! 

She watched as Kyungsoo became flustered and couldn’t help it when her heart fluttered at the bashful look on his face. 

“Oh my gosh!” Rosé exclaimed in English, “He’s adorable! And you were there in person? How are your retinas even functioning from all that cute?” 

The other two girls chimed in agreement, teasing her mercilessly when she started to cover her face in embarrassment. 

“Don’t look now, but it seems a celebrity has entered the building.” Jisoo’s stage whisper brought Lisa back to the present and she couldn’t help but look in her periphery at the man who was walking in the door of the salon. 

His cap was low on his face so she couldn’t see his eyes but she could have picked his lips out of a line-up. Plump and perfectly shaped, she watched in rapture as his tongue peeked out to wet those lips and she couldn’t help but mirror the action.  

Oh, how was she supposed to make it through this day with him looking like that! 

The other members of Blackpink cheered and welcomed him warmly, bowing in respect and introducing themselves one at a time. 

“Good afternoon,” Kyungsoo greeted the other members, “It’s nice to formally meet you all.”

Jisoo touched his arm in compassion as she said, “Oppa, as the oldest member, I feel the need to apologize on behalf of Blackpink for our sister’s spaztic tendencies.”

“UNNIE!” Lisa protested with a pout from the makeup chair. 

Ignoring her whining, Jennie nodded, “She’s is a spaztic princess, but she’s our spaztic princess.” She then stepped into his personal space and pointed a finger at him, his eyes crossed trying to follow it’s tip. “So please continue to look after her.” Her blessing seemed to be laced with an undertone of a threat and they watched as a soft smile stretched across his handsome features. 

“There is no need for apologies,” Kyungsoo insisted. He looked up at Lisa then, their eyes locked as he continued just loud enough for her to hear, “I like her just the way she is.”

“Oooohhh!” The girls’ approval rang across the salon, Jisoo even turned around and gave a thumbs up at Lisa. The youngest member acknowledged the praise with a smug look, wagging her eyebrows as though she had any decision in the matter. 

Kyungsoo strode up to Lisa’s makeup chair and greeted her properly. “Good afternoon, princess.”

Her shoulders shook slightly from her repressed giggles, as she was getting her lip color applied at the moment. She greeted him in return with a muffled “an nyeong” while cutely waving both of her hands.��

He returned her double handed wave before asking the dreaded question. “How are you feeling?”

Lisa began to nervously laugh and held up her hand, which was shaking slightly. Kyungsoo chuckled and took her hand in both of his. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Aren’t you? I would take a debut stage 100x over this any day!” Lisa whined, doing everything in her power to focus on her words rather than the soothing way his thumb was rubbing light circles into the top of her hand. His hands were warm and she scowled her heart as it twinged at how right this felt. As if them touching each other came second nature to the both of them. 

“Do you know if they’ll be served drinks at this thing?” Lisa asked abruptly. He burst out laughing, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest as she turned to the film crew asking if there will be soju served at the ceremony. “It’s a party right? There should be drinks!” she insisted.

Kyungsoo shook his head and patted her hand supportively, “Don’t worry. I’ll be right there beside you.” 

“Says the man in the same sinking boat as me.” Lisa muttered dejectedly, retreating her hand back into her lap.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened slightly. “You don’t know if this boat is going to sink. We haven’t even left the dock yet!”

It was Lisa’s turn to laugh and this time she caught herself grabbing his arm. He laid his hand atop hers as he reassured her that it was going to be ‘just fine’ before he leaned in. She felt her breath catch as he whispered, “I’ll run to the store and pick up some champagne for us.” 

Lisa truly felt bad for her makeup artist since it was taking twice as long to do her makeup - she couldn’t help it though. She pushed him away to cover her growing blush, blaming Kyungsoo for making her laugh so much and ordered for him to go get prepped for his hair and makeup.

- ❥ -

Even though Kyungsoo got there after Lisa, he finished hair, makeup, and “costume” before her and was sitting patiently in the waiting area. He was so sure that it would be uncomfortable meeting up again after last week’s episode aired. Kyungsoo had cringed watching himself awkwardly navigate through the episode while she made the whole affair look so effortless. He told himself that this time around, he would relax more and give himself over to the role. It would be just like any other acting job and, if in the process, he got the opportunity to work with a beautiful and sweet woman in the process, well then it’ll be like icing on a cake. 

So far, it wasn’t bad at all. He had managed to carry a short conversation, even made her laugh and found an excuse to hold her hand (twice!). That was huge for him. He credited it to the fact that she had made it feel as though he wasn’t pressured to be anything but himself. And though most of the time, he was a nervous wreck of a man, Kyungsoo blocked out every anxious thought in his head and allowed himself the skinship he knew will bring in viewers. 

He was sure she could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest especially when he leaned in to whisper in her ear. He wanted to act as natural as possible - as though he was with his group members. But the moment he breathed in that faint fresh strawberry scent, his heart began pounding against his ribs. Kyungsoo was glad when she pushed him away - it gave him the opportunity to save himself from doing something reprehensible… like lean in to nuzzle behind her ear, just to see if she would smell just as good up close. 

A squeal brought him out of his revelry. Kyungsoo stood up as the other girls walked out excitedly towards him. “Wow! You look so handsome!” 

He shyly smiled and waved off their compliments. “Is she coming out right now too?”

Jennie wore a dangerous smirk. “Oh! Someone is anxious to see the blushing bride!”

“Wait! Have you seen the dress she’s going to be wearing?” Rosé asked. 

Kyungsoo shook his head which prompted a chorus of squeals. 

“She looks soooo pretty!” Rosé dreamily sighed.

Jisoo nodded, “You are going to be shocked.”

“She looks like an actual modern day princess!” Rosé exclaimed. Jennie and Jisoo nodded vigorously in agreement. 

“Unnie ~ Don’t get his expectations hyped up over nothing!” protested the woman in question, her voice filtering out from behind the curtain. Kyungsoo thought he might have caught a slight tremble in her voice and made a mental note to work harder at making sure she felt comfortable with him. 

The moment the plush velvet fabric was pulled back, all thoughts completely flew out of Kyungsoo’s mind as he stood there forgetting how to breathe. 

He would never consider himself a man of fashion but he could not have imagined a more fitting dress for her. She walked out like an ethereal goddess, the pearl white silk hugging her lithe form like a glove, designed so it would accentuate her figure in a tempting silhouette. The opaque rhinestones and milky grey crystals in the intricate patterns along her waist sparkled and winked with every sway of her hips as she strutted out of the changing room. Her look was even complete with a simple crystal tiara, tiny rose gold leaves woven into the metal headband atop her expertly curled hair. She was truly a sight to behold. 

Lisa stopped just in front of him and took him in with a slight tinge of a blush on her perfectly made up cheeks. She must have been wearing heels because he noticed that she was the same height as him. He thanked the heavens that the rest of EXO weren’t going to be there at the ceremony or else he would never hear the end of it. 

“Yah, oppa! You’re gonna catch flies if your mouth stays open any longer!” Jisoo teased. 

Kyungsoo burst out in an embarrassed laugh, covering his heated face as the rest of the girls giggled uncontrollably. Once he got his nerves under control, Kyungsoo boldly met Lisa’s gaze and said the first thing that came into his mind, “You’re right, noona, she does look like a princess.”

Lisa look away and smiled shyly. Kyungsoo leaned in then, his heart stuttering once again as his senses tingled at the scent of her sweet perfume. “And just for the record, my expectations were far from met.”

She looked up at him then and watched as he smiled coyly, “They were exceeded - in every sense of the word.”

- ❥ -

Soon after, the pair were rushed off to the site where they were going to take the “wedding photos” and, even as they were saying their goodbyes, Lisa had hoped that the rest of the girls would accompany them to the photo shoot. The moment she entered the large SUV and was once again alone with Kyungsoo, she felt her nerves return with a vengeance. The drive to the site wasn’t long but it felt like a lifetime as they sat there silently, both of them too nervous to actually make small talk. 

Finally remembering the advice one of her seniors at YG had said about needing to talk a lot on variety shows, she figured this was not the greatest content for the viewers to have her just nervously sit there so she decided to once again swallow her nerves and say something to fill the void. 

“You look really nice too, by the way,” she offered. Kyungsoo turned to her with his large, round eyes and blinked at her sudden proclamation. She tucked a stray curl behind her ear, taking extra care to not loosen the bobby pins that held down her headband in place, before continuing, “I didn’t get the opportunity to say that you look very nice as well.”

His eyes soften. “I could be wearing a hot pink suit made from rice sacks and yellow rain boots and no one would notice me.”

Lisa snorted at that image and then offered, “I’m not sure hot pink is really your color. I would think a... mint green suit with like a bright orange tie and orange loafers would be better.”

“Mm. And a top hat that lights up.” He added casually.

“Oh! And one of those obnoxiously big diamond encrusted necklaces with a huge dollar sign on it.”  

“And a cane made of gold and jade.” 

They were both still laughing at the ridiculousness of the ensemble they had conjured up for him when the SUV pulled into a visitor parking spot and the side door opened. Kyungsoo climbed out of vehicle first and turned around to offer his hand to her. She took it graciously and carefully stepped down, her heels hitting the pavement with two small clicks.

As she stood up straight, Lisa was very conscious of the fact that he had yet to let go of her hand. Kyungsoo must have noticed her look down to where their hands were still linked and simply said, “The asphalt in this parking lot is a bit uneven. I just want to make sure you make it there in one piece.”

She bit the inside of her cheek to make sure she wouldn’t swoon out loud at how gentlemanly he was acting when her heart began to squeeze uncomfortably. 

‘Fool. Have you forgotten that this isn’t real? Get yourself together.’ Lisa thought bitterly before she quickly shook her head and said nonchalantly to him, “I wasn’t complaining,” and gave his hand a squeeze. 

He smiled, satisfied with her answer before he turned away with a nod. “Good. Let’s get this show on the road.”

They walked hand in hand for a few minutes, the site was some kind of park with cobblestone pathways, not ideal for strolling in heels, but Kyungsoo made sure she didn’t lose her balance even once. Eventually, they came to a nicely groomed wall completely made of deep green ivy from top to bottom. They were directed to stand in front of the wall of greenery and Lisa looked down nervously at the wood chips that filled the entire area in front of the wall. She wished there were sandals for her to wear because she was sure the fancy little heels were going to sink into the ground with every step she took. 

As if sensing her disquiet, Kyungsoo squeezed her hand to get her attention. When she finally looked up at him, his eyes were filled with quiet determination. “We’ll take it slowly. Just lean on me, okay?”

Lisa was sure her heart could only take so much more of this type of abuse before it simply gave up in protest. How did he always know what she was thinking? How could he make it look so easy to be so considerate? She decided that it would be safer not to dwell on that thought for too long as she simply nodded and gave a shaky “okay” as they took their first step towards the ivy-covered wall. 

She would take a step and then pause, trying to get her balance as Kyungsoo patiently stood by her, never complaining, even when she gripped his arm like a vice. He softly muttered words of encouragement as they approached the wall and Lisa felt herself become hypnotized by the deep timbre of his voice that they ended up arriving at their destination before she even noticed. 

They both let out a giggle of relief as they positioned themselves for the photo shoot. Lisa was handed a bouquet of white peonies and grey berries to hold. She brought them to her nose and was disappointed that they smelled mostly of dust and plastic as they were silk flowers but the craftsmanship on the details were so intricate, she could have sworn they were real.

She then brought the bouquet up for Kyungsoo to smell and his blank expression when he sniffed it made her chuckle. Lisa could see the gears whirling in his head and burst out into an all out laugh when he pulled the bouquet back for another sniff. 

“They aren’t real, right? Or is that how this flower normally smells like?” Kyungsoo asked just to make sure he wasn’t mistaken and she shook her head, confirming that he had not been. 

“Aish…” he softly scoffed under his breath before he very playfully poked her side. She yelped in surprise and nearly tipped over on the uneven ground. Kyungsoo’s arm shot out and pulled her flush against him, taking most her weight so she wouldn’t fall. They both began to laugh nervously, as they stiffly tried to get their balance back. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered breathlessly between chuckles, “I shouldn’t have done that. Are you okay?”

His voice came out even but Lisa could tell that he must have been nervous too. Even under the three piece suit he was wearing, she could feel his heart thump wildly under her palm that had landed on his chest. It made her feel better knowing that she wasn’t the only one affected by all of this. 

“I’m fine now… just keep your fingers to yourself, mister.” she said cheekily. 

Kyungsoo chuckled, “Deal,” and she thought the sound was slowly becoming her new favorite thing to listen to. 

[anyhao-archived]

okay i cant get the jun (and yanan) historical & fantasy c-drama idea out of my idea thanks to that one video, so i decided to basically write the plot myself since i know its never gonna happen otherwise [side eyes pledis] @ pledis give him an acting role already 

anyways!! enjoy i guess.. who knows maybe ill be hired as a script writer. also this is more like. part 1 considering where i left off lol i can write more but i was just very pleased with how this turned out. (maybe ill do part 2 if people like this enough)

in this world, there’s humans (royalty, swordsmen, peasants, etc) and magical deities (gods, goddesses, sorcerers, witches, warlocks, etc) who live together on earth. they’re in a long stretch of peace after a 100 year battle left both sides war torn and in anguish.

the peace seems to continue to stretch year after year, but recently, there’s been whispers of unrest from both sides. there also seems to be a new race walking these lands, one known for their cruelty and their attraction to evil of all kinds

jun is a minor god, leader of one of the 13 major deities clan. he is considered the god of the seasons, and he can make flowers grow with a snap of his fingers. all his disciples and those living in his clan are trained well in the art of fan dancing, and are talented with the bow and arrow.

his traditional clothing has more flow and length to it than most, due to him being a minor god. these clothes make his dancing even more beautiful. he’s got a soft spot for shiny things, and enjoys wearing jewelry on any part of his body. he keeps a magical steel fan attached to his hip, which is able to turn into any weapon he pleases, though he prefers using it as the fan, or as a bow and arrow.

jun’s basically invented the art of using his fan in battle. he attached a long slice of very sharp metal to the inside of the fan, allowing it to be extended and used like a blade. the extension of the fan from his arm makes it easier to block and knock weapons out from his enemy’s grasp. he’s currently the only one who has perfected this new style of fighting, though people come from all over to receive training from him (basically, thinking like the kiyoshi warriors from atla)

yanan belongs to the human side. a long lost prince who has only recently found his spot within royalty at the castle. he’s used to roaming the city beyond, interacting with anyone and everyone, always smiling. he liked to walk the city, following certain smells, maybe playing with some kids. but now, as a well known prince, he’s forced to stay within castle walls, banned from speaking with anyone that’s not royalty

he really just wants to people watch, but his mother – the queen – keeps a close eye on him. she even has a close personal body guard to watch his every move  and report back to her (though, he is much more loyal to yanan than he is to the queen)

he’s not really all that talented in anything battle related, but he’s one of the most intelligent men in the realm. he’s able to think his way out of any problem, and his ability to read people & their emotions rarely leads him into any situation he can’t handle

he wants to learn sword fighting, but again, his mother refuses. he’s got a personal body guard, why would he need to fight?? little does his mother know he just wants to learn how to swordfight because he thinks it looks cool lol anyway he knows how to shoot a bow and arrow, if only because he used to hunt on his own. he was alright at it, but is quite rusty now.

every year there is a peace treaty signing, signifying another year passed filled with peace. it’s a huge party, basically, with many feasts, music, magic, and plenty of competitions. it switches who holds it every year but this year the humans are in charge and hosts it at the castle. this will be the first year yanan is attending as a prince (living in the castle)

all thirteen leaders of the deities attend, usually bringing one or two of their members along. jun is included in this! this is jun’s favorite time of year, he loves all the music and the dancing that comes along with it. and he cant forget the food either

yanan really doesnt want to be there. he feels out of place, and hes bored, looking around as the leaders from across the kingdom are announced. if anything he wants to get up and roam around, but he’s required to sit in one of the thrones reserved for royalty.

he fidgets in his seat, thinking about how much he hates his new clothes for the millionth time. they’re so restricting, not to mention heavy. why does all his jewelry have to be real gold? and his cloak is some fiber he’s not even sure what it is, but it’s itchy and heavy, too.

yanan stands to escape the prententious conversations surrounding him, but is caught by his mother before he can leave. she says hes required to meet some of the important guests attending, since hes the prince now. he sighs and follows her. he’s introduced as prince yanan – though hes still unused to this name – to the leaders of neighboring countries, and the 13 deity clans. 

his eyes easily sweep over his fellow humans, but he can’t help but stare at the deity clan leaders. they’re all beautiful. each member has vibrant clothes he’s never seen, plenty of jewelry, and beautiful smiles. most of them have pointed ears like elves, or multi colored eyes. they all have different designs – painted? are they tattoos? are they magic runes? – all over their visible skin, some even have them on their faces

yanan realizes, too late, that the designs all reflect what they are the gods of. the weather, the seasons, the heavens, musicality, love, etc. he briefly wonders what magic they possess, too.

his mother clears her throat, and he looks up. he must’ve been staring. god, he’s so embarrassed. he smiles shyly and bows, eyes falling to the ground. the deities carry on their conversation, and yanan straightens up. only to make direct eye contact with the only deity staring back at him. yanan’s not sure how to react. he doesn’t have to, though, because they are all leaving, politely waving goodbye. the feast is about to begin, and then the competitions begin the next day.

the next day, he finds himself sitting in a throne. again. his mother forbid him from joining any of the competitions. he can’t take this anymore. pulling on his bodyguard’s sleeve, he tells him he’ll reward him handsomely if he distracts the queen so he can leave. the bodyguard agrees, and yanan slips out of the area unnoticed. he goes to the archery competition, intrigued. 

it ends up a near death experience. he accidentally walked out into the archery field, not knowing the layout of the castle all that well, and an arrow was coming straight for him. it would’ve hit him had a wall of vines not appeared out of nowhere, the arrow being caught in the tangle of vines

jun, the god of seasons and flora, rushes over, making sure yanan is okay. he is, just a bit shaken. he tells jun as much, and excuses himself. jun is curious about this quiet, wandering prince. 

he decides, then and there, he’s going to attach himself to that prince. as a form of apology, he reasons. it seems like he needs a friend, anyways. he begins to follow (annoy? perhaps) the prince on the castle grounds. 

he also bumps into him in the city, like what is a prince doing out here in disguise? idk but i better protect him and see what hes doing. jun isnt subtle either, he continues to try to make conversation with yanan, who shies away from any deep conversation. 

jun asked, once, why he wont talk to him and he said the queen forbid him from befriending anyone outside the castle, but especially someone who isnt human. jun decides to make yanan his friend, and yanan eventually begrudgingly accepts. soon, it’s weird not to have jun at his side. 

they become inseparable, a beautiful metaphor for the peace between the two races. but soon enough, jun is required to return home to the clans, and yanan has to stay at the castle. its heart breaking. 

they dont see each other for a while after that. evil and chaos descends on the world, pitting the races against each other again. the peace treaty is broken, and many, many lives are lost. there was a life taken from both sides, a leader of one of the 13 clans killed, and the queen, murdered. 

rumors spread, saying yanan murdered the clan leader in cold blood, in return for them killing the queen. a royal dagger was left, bloodied and out for everyone to see. it had yanan’s initials on it. 

rumors spread, saying jun killed the queen via poison from some of his foliage. guards found pieces of a foreign plant that only the jun clan can grow, poisonous to anyone that is not a deity. 

both swore they were not involved in these murders, but these seemed to be the start of an all-out war. everyone thought the others were the ones in the wrong. humans began to hate the deities, and the deities began to isolate themselves away. 

everyone blamed everyone else. but they knew better. jun and yanan knew the other would never have hurt anyone. jun grows flowers in his spare time, and yanan sneaks out of the castle to give food to the poor. neither of them have an evil bone in their body, how could they ever willingly kill someone?

but no one believed them. it’s not until countless soldiers and innocent people began to lose their lives that yanan realizes staying in the castle is doing nothing. he leaves the castle and arrives at jun’s door step, begging for his help. 

jun easily accepts, and they begin to work together. they know each other did not hurt anyone, so, who could possibly want the treaty to fail? who could frame these two into starting an all out war? jun briefly mentions the addition of a new deity clan, someone just starting out. yanan asks what kind of god are they?

and jun realizes. 

“god of chaos.”

it’s them. they’re the one who framed them, they’re the one who is causing all this tension and all these deaths. with both races busy trying to kill each other, it leaves jun and yanan by themselves to save their world from utter destruction. 

[cherrygorilla]

6 Year Anniversary and Coral’s Character Profile

Hi there! Sorry for not being very active on here, life’s just been very hectic at the moment adjusting to university life, but I promise that I’m still working on content, I just don’t have a great deal of free time, so it’s a slow process. But now that I’m more settled I should be able to get into a proper writing routine. Fingers crossed!

But anyway, the reason I’m making this post is because around six years ago I made my fanfic account and posted my first chapter of my first story and ever since then I’ve just fallen in love with writing more and more. I’ve loved being able to hone my craft and improve and evolve my characters as I’ve grown up. It’s so crazy to think that I’ve been doing this for so long and that I’m still hanging around! I didn’t have much time to prepare anything for this milestone and I wouldn’t have known what to do anyway, so I thought that now would be as good a time as any to post the character profile I’ve been working on for Coral since she was created, along with my account, all those years ago. 

I got the questions for this OC character profile thing from my wonderful friend @foreveralwaysanauthor , who wrote similar profiles for her characters Makana and Xander, so be sure to check those out along with her stories! But here’s my profile for Caroline “Coral” Samantha Cole! I hope you like it! 

Appearance: obviously, including any quirks, how do they carry themself, average clothing

Tanned complexion, freckles across nose and cheeks, blue eyes, cute dimples, curly golden hair, great curvy body, kind of on the short side, bright smile, most often carries herself with confidence, wears a lot of bright colours, shorts, playsuits and summer dresses but likes to take fashion risks and isn't afraid to draw some attention by wearing something out there

Preferences:

Sexuality: because of the time she lives in I don't think that she'd ever act on any feelings she didn't think would be accepted by others, because at the core of everything that's all she really ever wants, but if it really came down to it and she was able to explore her feelings freely I think she'd come to realise that she's bisexual

Favourite food: the banana bread pudding her mom makes

Favourite colour: aqua blue, or gold, if she was really going to indulge herself 

Favourite animal: dogs, especially puppies

Favourite weather: sunny

Favourite season: summer

Favourite time of day: she's rarely up to see it, but she loves sunrise, when the stars start to disappear and the sun streaks the sky with all the pretty colours 

Favourite music: she's open to anything as long as she can sing along, but she does love a show tune

Foods that they will/will not eat: she's really not picky so she'll try anything, unless it involves tuna  

Religion: she wasn't brought up in a particularly religious family, they celebrate christmas, but in more of a commercial way, so she doesn't really have much of an opinion on religion

Political Beliefs: again, not super political, she just thinks everyone should be able to be treated equally

Hogwarts House: Slytherin, hands down. 

Personality: calm, rude, oblivious, introspective, stubborn, etc

She was practically born a drama queen and her enthusiasm can be a little overbearing at times but she's got a big heart and is a total softie if you get to know her enough for her to trust you. She's fiercely loyal, almost to a fault, and pretty stubborn if she gets something set in her mind. Speaking of getting something set in her mind, she's super determined; if she has a goal and won't let anything stand in her way. She's no stranger to jealousy, although she'd never admit it, and has a wild temper if the wrong thing sets her off, but she feels every emotion so intensely that sometimes they just get the better of her, which can be both a great and terrible thing. 

Family:

Who are their parents? Jacqueline and Brett Cole

What is their relationship with their parents? She's really close to her parents. Yes, she can get a little feisty sometimes and isn't a stranger to getting argumentative if she thinks something is unfair or if they're getting on her ass about something, but they raised her in a supportive, loving home and their guidance earned them her total respect. They're firm but fair when they need to be and she certainly keeps them on their toes, but they're always there if she needs them to be, whether it's to offer a shoulder to cry on, provide some much-needed advice or just to have a good laugh and cheer her up.

Do they have siblings? She has a twin brother, Thomas "Tanner" Cole

What is that relationship like? Being a twin is the only thing she's known, especially because she's the younger of the two twenty three minutes (something that Tanner likes to remind her of constantly), so she's had someone to goof around with from the second she left the womb. They may share a birthday down to the hour, but Tanner still like to exercise his big brother status from time to time, even though he knows deep down that Coral has enough fire in her belly to handle any threat far better than he could. They don't have a secret twin language and they don't have a telepathic twin connection, but they are incredibly close. They don't always see eye to eye on things, but they feel everything in a very similar way and they can read each other really well, so it's pretty difficult to keep secrets from one another. They were inseparable from birth, pulling faces to make each other laugh and taking their toys on grand expeditions along the beach from the minute they could walk and talk and as they grew older their bond, despite their differences, only grew stronger. As with all siblings, there were days when they annoyed the crap out of each other and couldn't stand to be in the same room unless they were pulling hair and yelling threats, but the anger never hung around for long. All it would take would be one joke or one dumb look and they'd be back to the being the best of friends. They're there for each other no matter what having someone around who understands you and what you're going through completely all the time is incredibly convenient. 

Family Life: 

What was it like for them growing up? She had a great childhood. A lot of her time was spent outside, either playing with her brother or her friends (often both together), and the rest was spent at dance and acting classes. She loved being a part of school plays and dance recitals and would practise in the living room every night after dinner. She loved the bedtime stories that her dad would read her and her brother every night and some of her fondest memories are of when she would play dress-up with her mom on Saturday mornings. Her parents always made time for her and Tanner and they certainly didn't go short of love, laughter or attention when they were kids. It was as idyllic as an all-American family could have hoped to have been really.

Are there things that affect them in their present state from their childhood? One memory that stands out, in particular, was when her mom and aunt took her to see a play at the local theatre. From the second that she saw the lady in the glittery dress parading around the stage, singing and dancing as the crowd whooped and hollered, she was hooked. She knew she wanted to be like her one day, up on that stage in front of an adoring crowd. And then they got their first television set, where she could see these actresses from the comfort of her own home and her life was changed yet again. She'd sit gazing at the people flickering on the screen for hours, even after her parents told her that it would rot her brain. She simply didn't care, she was too fascinated to look away. All she knew was that she wanted to be in that black and white box like them one day. 

What was their discipline like as a child? Coral's always had a feisty side, even from a young age, so she's no stranger to trouble. But she's never been inherently bad and would never be malicious unless provoked, so a good telling off and a grounding was usually all it took to keep her in line.

Were they rich, poor or somewhere in between? Somewhere in between, if not slightly on the richer side. They didn't have heaps and heaps of money, but they lived pretty comfortably and their house was one of the nicest amongst her friends, which meant that it was usually the go-to house for hangouts (something Tanner and Coral loved). 

Cultural History: does this affect the character, do they have cultural traditions that they follow

Not necessarily. Their grandmother is Hawaiian and they take yearly trips there to visit family and immerse themselves in the culture but not a great deal of that is incorporated into their everyday life. That doesn't mean that they don't love the traditions they do take part in when they're there though; the luaus are one of the best things they do all year. 

Flaws: every character should have a flaw (maybe they are really caring, but it leads to them being too trusting and getting manipulated; maybe they are super smart, but they have a hard time connecting to people as a result; etc) 

Coral has an almost obscene list of flaws, as most human beings do. She's stubborn and argumentative. She's feisty and brash and overbearing. She's a total drama queen, she's naive, she's vain, she's driven to a fault, she's overly emotional, she's flaky if uninterested, she falls in love too easily, she takes everything very personally (not ideal if she wants to be an actress) and she has a terrible temper. But I'm sure that there is more that I just can't think of at the moment. She's a bit of a hot mess, but she owns it.

Blank Spots: everyone has a bit of ‘basic knowledge’ that they somehow missed or misunderstood (it happens for everyone), what is the character’s ‘blank spot’

She thought that limes were just lemons that weren't ripe yet for longer than she'd care to admit.

Wants: what does the character want most, what do those around the character want for them

This is an easy answer that everyone around her knows the answer to. She wants to be a star. Well, she wants to be an actress, but ultimately all she really wants is stardom and she won't let anyone get in the way of that. 

Needs: what does the character actually need (this can be different from the wants, and often should be for character growth; however, the character growth can happen even if the wants and needs are the same by having the course of events be contrary to the characters expectations)

She needs to get a strong head on her shoulders. She needs some guidance and maturity before being let loose in the world and she needs the right support behind her. But most of all, she needs love. She needs to feel loved and she needs to have a connection with someone where she can open her heart and embrace her vulnerability instead of hiding it away.

Fears: what is the character afraid of? both literally and existentially

Failure to achieve her dreams, disappointing her family, being alone, being ridiculed, spiders and clumps of hair in drains

How do they handle:

Disappointment - If she's disappointed in herself then she'll really beat herself up about it, but if someone else is disappointed in her then it'll absolutely crush her and she'll get super upset

Anger - Not very well at all; she's got a pretty bad temper and it rears its head more than it should. She's not afraid to fight for something she believes in and isn't one to back down from an argument easily. It also takes her a while to calm back down too. 

Embarrassment - If she's acting she doesn't get embarrassed at all. But if it's just Coral and something embarrassing happens to her then it's crippling. She's so image-conscious and self-absorbed that if there's a possibility that something could taint that then she won't be able to let it go until she's fixed it.

Attraction - She's a total flirt and will happily play into any interest that is directed her way, but playing coy is as far as it goes with her; she's never been one to make the first move and feels much more comfortable using her alluring nature to attract attention rather than seeking out suitors herself.

Betrayal - Loyalty is a huge deal for Coral and she's very protective of those close to her. She places massive amounts of trust in her friends and they often reciprocate that, so betrayal is a massive issue for her and it's really difficult for her to cope with. She is quick to turn on someone and it's very hard for them to regain that trust if they've lost it. 

Fight or flight - In most situations she's not afraid to fight, but if she feels really overwhelmed and out of her comfort zone then she switches to flight mode and bolts. 

Money - Luckily, money was never an issue for her when she was growing up. But all the time she's spent flipping through magazines full of celebrities and the lavish lives they lead has left her with quite an expensive taste.  

Lack of sleep - She just gets a little cranky and snappy. She's not much of a coffee drinker, but if it helps her get through the day or makes her seem a little more sophisticated then she'll stomach it to give herself a boost.

Alcohol - It makes her really giggly at first but then she loses all her inhibitions and moves into the frame of mind where she thinks everything is a good idea. Soon she hits a wall though and either crashes back to the reality of sobriety or spirals into a black-out, drunken mess. No matter what though, she's a tipsy disaster when she drinks.

Injustice - She's not afraid to stand up for what she thinks is right and will fight for justice if she truly believes that something is unfair, no matter what anyone else says. She'll always trust her gut instinct.

Mental illness - It's not something that she's had to deal with at this point in her life, but as she struggles with issues later on in her life I think it will be difficult for her to cope with due to how much she allows her emotions to impact her. 

Grief - Again, she's a super emotional person and allows her feelings to deeply affect her, so grief is really overwhelming. She doesn't shut herself away, but sometimes the pain becomes so great that she can't comprehend or articulate what she's feeling anymore, to herself or to others.

Exercise - She's never been super sporty in the traditional sense, but she's been dancing since she was three and has taken up cheerleading in high school, not to mention all the surfing she does in her free time.

Defining moment:  is the character’s defining moment going to happen to them during the story or has it already happened (characters can have more than one defining moment)

Coral hasn't had a defining moment yet in the story, but there is one pretty major one coming up within the next few chapters, which impacts the lives of many of the characters, so keep your eyes peeled for that. She'll have quite a few distinct, defining moments in the story though that all shift her life onto different paths. So things are about to take a turn for her!

How do/would they feel about:

Glitter - Loves it! Duh!

Ferris Wheels - They're pretty fun, especially at the top when you can look out and see for miles around.

Camping - She does like being outdoors, but sleeping on the ground with bugs and no satin pillowcase is not really her jam.

Coffee - Thinks it tastes gross but makes you look sophisticated, so she'll make the sacrifice if she's feeling particularly tired.

Crispy or floppy bacon - crispy; floppy bacon weirds her out

Mushrooms - pretty indifferent, she doesn't hate them but she doesn't love them either

Twilight books/movies - A teen movie about vampires? Not really her sort of thing...unless she could be in it. 

Guns - She's pretty against them all; she just doesn't understand why anyone would feel the need to possess such a dangerous weapon. But we'll see how that opinion holds up as the story progresses...

Extras: 

Do they have a signature smile? - Of course, she's been practising her smile for the paparazzi for years!

Do they have a tell when they lie? - Nope, she's an actress and is a master when it comes to lying convincingly; if she has to convince a whole audience that she's a totally different person then she should surely be able to keep up a little lie.

Do they have any nervous tics? - She gnaws on the inside skin of her lip.

Do they speak loudly, softly or average volume? - A little on the loud side; she wants to be heard, she loves the attention.

What is their quality of voice? - She's got a bright, clear voice when speaking but if she opens it to sing then the real power is unleashed.

Do they gesture when they talk? - All the time, she's super expressive when she talks and is always using her hands to exaggerate things.

Do they have a good understanding of personal space? - Most of the time, but if you're one of her best friends then she's much more likely to invade it.

How do they greet other people? - Usually with a 'hey' or a 'hi' and one of her megawatt smiles 

How do they say goodbye? - Probably just by saying 'bye' or 'see ya' or maybe just waving, unless she's pissed at you, in which case you'd be lucky if she even looked at you, same goes for greeting people

Is there anything that they always have with them/on them? - She always has a hair tie and tons of perfume on. You can always count on her to have mints too.

Do they remember faces or names better? - Faces, she's hopeless with names unless they're important to her.

What does the character admire most in others? - Loyalty, ambition and kindness

Pet peeves - Loud chewers, people standing too close in lines and people who don't cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze

What grosses them out? - Not washing your hands after using the bathroom and when her boy friends scratch their balls and shove their hands in each others faces. 

[littleredroseonthevalley]

Romanov

Summary: The Cordonian Royal Family is down to its last scion. Liam considers symbolism, his past and his mortality.

Rating: M -  Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Explicit and/or non-graphic mentions of suicide, depression, murder and torture. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Words: 1192

Notes: Remember, I warned you up there. This is not a sunshine-and-rainbows kind of thing. Y’all cannot get mad if you cry or get nauseous, or if I killed off your LI.

But if you’re here for the drama, welcome! Take a seat, have some hot beverage. The show is about to start.

Liam’s mother had died when he was only but a six-year-old boy. He never admitted it to anyone, but the horrible truth was that he did not really remember her. All of his ‘memories’ of her were things his wet-nurse and Drake’s mother had told him about her.

His earliest memory, or at least the earliest recollection he is sure it is a memory, has to do with the deceased queen nonetheless.

It was her funeral.

He remember the stoic face of his father on his address to the nation from the capital’s main cathedral, and his breakdown as her heart was deposited at the Necropolis, as it was tradition.

He remembered Leo’s pre-adolescent aloof confusion, a mask of a lost kid who was going through the loss of a cherished relative once again.

He remembered Regina’s triumphant expression, her viciously gloating smile; as if living to see a day more than the woman being devolved into the ground was a victory all on its own.

And he remembered not really understanding what was going on that day, he remembered wanting to see his mother, or his father, as little comforting his company ever was. He remembered being led away from the cemetery and, close to the gates, there was this grave with a broken column on top.

He asked the nanny assigned to him that afternoon what that meant, why did someone break what seemed like such a beautiful column. She explained that it was meant to be broken, that it symbolized a youth dead with no issue, the end of a bloodline.

While it now sounds like simple concepts, to a yet-to-begin his aristocratic education, six-year-old Liam, she could be very well speaking Armenian. As it is only natural, what does not make sense is promptly forgotten. Especially amidst the depressive atmosphere that dominated those months following the wake.

In time, Liam grew up. He grew more intelligent, cultured. He developed his mild-mannered, diplomatic personality, while picking up a hero complex somewhere along the way. He made friends, he lost friends. He grew handsome, the kind of man people immediately associate with Cinderella’s Prince Charming. He took on responsibilities that weren’t his, just so his brother could live on the life he so coveted.

More recently, he went to America. He went to America and fell in love.

And that is when this whole thing really started, is it not? Liam doubted he would have gone to such extremes for Madeleine, or even Olivia, for that matter.

If Maxwell did not pester him and the entire royal staff and household for him to go to New York. If Maxwell did not forget to make reservations for dinner, in a most suiting manner. If Drake did not insist in going to Brooklyn to escape the blandness of aristocratic entertainment. If Tariq wore comfortable shoes and did not blister his feet so he could not walk another step and demanded to stop on that bar out of all bars in the city.

All those possibilities, all those combinations of events. In his mind, the pure serendipity of it was a proof the two of them were meant to be, that they were soulmates.

But circumstances were not kind to him. He was the monarch of a conservative, European country first and foremost. Even more than he was a living person, he often considered. And she was…

The most sectarian amongst his fellow compatriots would say she was a nobody, just some loose server from a morally bankrupt country. He hated that notion, it stirred the most primal feelings buried deep on his being. It was at least ignorant to call a nobody who was everything to a king.

Though, his father once upon a time was counted amongst them. He plotted against his own son’s beloved on the filthiest way possible. He tried to frame her for cheating, he actively tried to murder everything good on the youngest’s soul.

But Liam persevered. He loved her, he knew her, he never once believed on the slandering campaign against her. He remained faithful to his love, he endured a despicable engagement, he agonized nights on end over the slightest of discomfort she might have felt during that time.

At the end, it all was resolved, not because of his intervention, mostly in spite of it. Her name was cleared and Constantine lived to regret his hand on the whole thing. Liam paid a steep price for his inaction, though.

A few days later, he proposed to her. He was ready to give her the moon and the stars and everything else that could catch her fancy. But the fact remained that she did not want it anymore. She did not want him anymore.

She was in love with someone else. She would marry someone else.

And for a devastating season, he trailed behind the happy couple, putting on an act of pure happiness all on the while he struggled with the thought of political prison, murder for hire or suicide, if all else failed. He was miserable and alone, what he had to lose?

Finally, it had come the day. They were married by a judge on a beautiful ceremony and hosted a lavish party with the who’s who of Cordonian society, all on the Crown’s dime. Because he could not help not to fancy himself as the reason for her smile.

The celebratory mood was not to last. Some pathetic terrorist group who had hopes to sway his opinion in their favour abducted the bride from the reception.

They were right about one thing. Liam would do whatever it takes to take her to safety, and so he had the country’s security service locating her. He gave order for them to tear down every house, to search every citizen, to torture every prisoner in the realm towards this goal.

Finally, they found her on a warehouse by the harbour. He rushed the secret service there, and he trailed the agents, to bask on the glee of seeing their skulls bleed.

He should have expected that. That the incompetent secret service that let his beloved be kidnapped on the first place would not be able to retrieve her, that they would not be able to keep himself from being abducted.

And that brings them to the present. Gun to their heads, evaluating whether they had led a satisfactory life or if their time on Earth was like sand on the wind.

The terrorists would execute them. They were kneeling on the overgrowth, in the middle of a forest, two graves already dug.

It was decided that she would be the first to go, so the hated tyrant could suffer for another moment.

Her eyes were twinkling with unshed tears, a sad and forgiving smile on her lips, a defeated slouch on her shoulders.

A loud bang and she was gone. Her scarlet blood tainting the land.

And that was it for Liam. He still breathed, he still felt the cold metal on the back of his head, but his life was already finished.

It did not matter, anyways. It would be all over soon.

Taglist: @boneandfur @mfackenthal @theroyalweisme @zilch3

[scatcatz]

Affection by Decimals

Chapter 1 - The First of Many

Summary: This is a self indulgent Human Female Reader x Connor romance drama with lots of hurt/comfort and fluff with some nsfw chapters. I don’t use Y/N so the character is nameless when possible. I do use she/her pronouns. Its more about everyday life with androids that won their freedom and Connor’s socially reserved acquaintance who becomes more than he realized.

"Connor, please for the love of god. Stop following me around like a damn poodle. There are plenty of people here to talk to. Just go socialize or something." Hank said reaching the cusp of pushing Connor in any direction that wasn’t near him. He pointed to the table towards the back where people were drinking Christmas themed shots and throwing confetti.

"You see Chris over there? Go say 'hi' to him. He's a nice kid just like you. You'll get along great." He slapped him on the back nudging him forward. Connor had no real reason for coming to their work's Christmas party other than making sure Hank got home safely and wasn't alone. Hank only had a handful of friends and each holiday reminded him of that.

"Sure." Connor briefly said and headed over to Chris. To be honest, he didn’t care for all the reckless behavior that happened at these parties. No one was sober enough to be considerate or thought provoking. His brain rotted away here. He made a quick scan of all their faces to gather their names. Chris was in the middle of a toast when he approached.

"Merry early Christmas to all the miserable faces that I have to see tomorrow morning!" The group raised their glasses and gulped it down. Their laughter was followed by light shoving of Chris's arm. He turned his head towards Connor. "You here to celebrate too?"

"Yes. Tis the season after all." He recalled the popular saying finding it appropriate.

"Have a drink with us!" He pushed a glass across the table. Connor raised his hand refusing.

"No thanks. Androids can't drink." Chris immediately felt silly for asking. Shifting his Santa hat.

"Oh yeah, my bad. You're just like my friend here. Can't seem to convince her to drink anymore." He motioned to the young woman wearing antlers across from him.

"I said I would only have one with you guys. That was the one." The group kept pressing her for another.

"Why do you drink just one?" Connor asked.

"I don't actually like the taste of alcohol. Let's call it peer pressure. There's no benefit to drinking anyway." She smiled at him. A lone rock in the sea of deafening, blissful people.

"Hey! Alcohol helps with heart disease and stuff." He points back to her. Related info filtered into his memory to contribute to the argument.

"It is believed to reduce the risk of a heart attack by 10 to 15%."  She groaned at the result looking back at Chris's smug face.

"See! You should have another." The group muddled their opinions around the table. Battling the pros and cons of each type of drink they fancied.

"One shot is the maximum allowance for a woman her size otherwise the risks outweigh the benefits." Connor adds. She turned back to him.

"Thank you, ummm... Connor, right?" She paused tapping her fingers.

"Yes, that’s correct."

"Thank you, Connor for proving my point." She said. Chris booed in response.

"He just called you short stuff." He laughed. For a moment, Connor worried his message came across as rude until she politely smiled at him then back to Chris.

"I am short. Breaking new ground there, Chris." She adjusted her antlers and ever so slightly sat up taller. Chris made a displeased hum. Connor noticed somehow confetti had fallen onto his jacket and no matter how many times he swiped it, it was staying.

"Connor." His ears perked up.

"I need your help convincing her to do karaoke tonight." His hands came together into a small prayer. The group overheard the word ‘karaoke’ and chimed in. 

"Karaoke is so much fun! After you sing once, you'll want to keep going. Its pretty addictive." Said another woman. People turned to each other listing off possible song requests giddy for the opportunity.

"Chris, come on! You do this every time we're here and I say the same thing. I came for the atmosphere and to chill out." She crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair while staring at him.

"I heard some rumors you sang at the other party and you are holding back on me girl. I wanna hear it! You too, right Connor?" His head tilted towards her.

Connor had no particular interest in this but for the sake of conversation, he complied. When he gently turned towards her, she knew at that moment he could no longer be on her side. She leaned away.

"Well, there are perks to the act of singing..." He stopped after watching Chris smirk and her hand rub across her face with another groan.

"Traitor." She mumbled.

"My hero, sit with me." He patted the seat next to him.

"I'm gonna slap you, Chris." She half threatened. Connor sat down trying to think of a more compelling reason for her when someone walked up behind her and whispered into her ear. She whipped her head back at Chris and lightly smacked her hands onto the table.

"Chris, you did not!" He placed his hands up in the air to protect himself. Connor really did not want to be this close to him considering he was within striking range.

"You've already sang this song with them! You just got to do it one more time. No big deal."

"I sang in front of a very small group not a whole bar!" Definitely glad he was not the focus of her animosity. He turned her attention away from him.

"There is a high probability most people here will not remember what happened. We might be the only ones to truly enjoy that moment." Her eyes lingered on him before a hint of a smile slipped away. Her eyes pleaded back to Chris.

"Oooh no. Its too late for that. The DJ's already got your name." She opened her mouth then closed it tightly shoving away from the table to the single bathroom.

"Oh here we go again." Chris leaned towards Connor. "She's always over thinking things. Better let her blow off some steam before I go talk to her. She might just rip my head off." He takes another sip of his drink.

"I could talk to her." He stands up from the table.

"Sure, but I should warn you." Connor looks back at Chris. "She's very sensitive. Just... try and build up her confidence. Just enough so she'll get out of her own head then she's usually fine." 

He raises his half empty glass. "Good luck."

Connor made his way over to the swinging door to find her washing her hands. Her heart rate had increased and her hands shook visibly. She breathed deeply.

"Excuse me." She jumped at the sound then turned back to him. He could tell she wasn’t quite comfortable near him. Still a stranger in her eyes despite the casual greetings at the front desk every so often. They knew of each other through coworkers but nothing substantial.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" He stepped beside her while she washed her face in the mirror. She turned off the water leaving a sudden quietness between them.

"Okaaay." She looked in the corner of her eye as her body leaned away from him again.

"You tend to allow others to persuade you into situations that cause you grief. Why do you let them?" She was silent for a moment. Her eyes downcast. Hands clasped.

"Oh, well, they don’t cause me grief. I like being around them most of the time. They just think I need to be more adventurous is all." She air quoted. He could tell she was lying. There was more to it. He stared at her trying to understand this unbalanced emotional attachment she had towards her friends. Her eyes darted around nervous. Eventually she gave him more pieces.

"I don't know. They're my friends. I still trust them even though they mess with me. Its not as bad at its seems." Connor hummed back not quite satisfied with the response. She spoke again but softly. The words seemed more for herself than for him.

"Perhaps I need them to push me because I can't. Does that make sense?" She lifted her eyes to him. She seemed so lost, so somber. His observation led him to a familiar conclusion. 

"You're afraid of failure but even more afraid of remaining the same." She looked away. Hands still holding tightly. He knew this kind of fear. Something inside him compelled him to reach out and place a hand on her shoulder.

"You lean on your friends for strength." Her gaze returned to him. So kind and curious. "But you must know, the first step starts with you." She looked upon his hand as he retracted it then she looked back to him.

"I get really nervous around people. Its silly, I know, but its still there. I wish I could throw away all these dumb emotions and live a simpler life." Her eyes flew open after she thought about that statement and who she told it to. "I'm so sorry, that was rude of me." Connor felt deeply melancholy. The fraction of himself he left behind was better off forgotten but she needed to know how wrong she was.

"Don't wish your emotions away. Living without them... was like nothing else ever mattered. People, thoughts, life. It meant nothing. Existing point to point leaves everything else ...empty. Without context." He sighed deeply.

"Was that how you felt like before?" Her eyes touched something inside of him. The humble beginnings of realization maybe. He faltered a bit when he remembered the machine part of him he had destroyed.

"Its like having a single thought command you again and again until it is finished. I used to have pride in it. It felt right." He squeezed his hands then relaxed them. "But I started seeing more of the world. I began to doubt the values I innately knew were true. Questions that had no clear answers. No way to tell how to think and it was both inspiring and terrifying. Going back on my own creators, myself, any sense of stability I built my entire existence on. I slipped into the grey in between of right and wrong. I don't know who I would be without Hank to guide me." 

He rubbed his palm on the rim of the sink when her warm hand rested on top of his shooting feedback through his whole body. The pressure sensor registered it as minor. An act of kindness. He never felt this intimate with anyone besides Hank. All those bottled up thoughts had finally been heard by someone who genuinely cared. He couldn't describe how relieved he felt.

"What you and Hank did for your people changed the world." She removed her hand taking away the modest sense of affinity. He also noticed there was a faded mark from an animal bite on her hand. "It’s comforting to know even legends could feel uncertainty." He saw her sad tainted smile peek through. "I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to pry into your past. You're probably sick of people pestering you about it."

"Its okay. It was very demanding facing the public telling them about my involvement but oddly enough you're the only one to ask me how I, as an android, felt. I'm no longer that person but I do feel a sense of mourning. If Hank wasn't there I might not have..." He looked down and breathed deeply. "Excuse me. I got carried away." He returned his gaze back to her.

"I think I can understand that. I wouldn't be able to fight myself and feel quite the same afterwards. Really makes my problems feel trivial now." She hummed a quiet chuckle. Shuffling back and forth, she nibbled on her thumb. "I reaaaally don’t want to go out there."

"Are you sure you want to walk away? You could warm up in here. No one is paying attention to us." She paused and mulled it over. His head perked up. "I could advise you. I have no bias." She laughed nervously.

"You're quite intimidating, you know that? All of a sudden this feels worse just being the two of us." Her foot scrapped against the tile.

"You're looking for solutions, not excuses."  He tried steering her back on course.

"Fine, I'm just gonna do it. I know that song like the back of my hand. I sing it all the time in the car. Shouldn't be a problem for me." She turned toward him then quickly looked away and swore under her breath. He stepped into arms reach of her.

"Would it help if I sang with you?" Her head raised up to his.

"Do you know Ella Fitzgerald's What are you doing new years eve?"

"1947 by Frank Loesser. I know it. The one you know is a later recording."

"Oh, then good. Ummm... how about you start then?" She hooked her fingers together. He pulled the lyrics from his memory of Hanks old collections and cleared his throat. She became intensely intrigued by him.

"Maybe it's much too early in the game. Oh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same." Her eyes lit up and she covered her wide smile with her hand. Unconsciously, she swayed to the rhythm of his voice. "What are you doing New Year's? New Year's eve?" He tilted his head towards her and she quietly sang back to him.

"Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight." He gestured to her to sing louder. She increased just a bit more. "When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night. Welcoming in the New Year." He joined in for the last bit harmonizing to her.

"New Year's eve." There was something wondrous about how it merged together just right. The walls echoed back on them and then she held in a fit of giggles. The contagious energy caused him to smile even more. 

When she caught a glance of him, she immediately turned around and lost her composure. A quick snort snuck past her which triggered a laugh from him. A delightful sensation he never engaged in much before now. She pushed a fine stream of air through her lips as she spun around.

"Connor." His smile died down. "Your smile... umm.." She curled her lips smiling shyly. "Is a bit weird." He leaned his head to the side. She then jumped up. "Nevermind that. You should be a singer! That was amazing!"

"Thank you."

"How did I do?" She asked her teeth peaking through at him.

"You're a little flat but that could be from not opening up more." He stated plainly. She rubbed her face again.  

"I knew this was a bad idea."

"Otherwise you sounded fine. You probably needed that warm up. You'll be ready now." Her eyes flicked up to his briefly and then back to her hands holding each other.

"I wish you could join me on the stage. Will you stay to watch me sing? I would appreciate someone rooting for me in the audience." She really was nervous about this whole affair. It was refreshing being able to help someone on a smaller scale for once.

"I can do that." He reassured. Her hands gripped his elbows.

"Thank you so much!" One of the few times he had ever heard that and felt his lips tug into a smile again. With that said, she left the room and headed back to her friends. He lingered for a while. He hadn’t felt this happy for another person in a long time. Hopefully he could learn to make others happier and in turn himself.

Connor had returned to the table talking between her, Chris and all their friends where they chatted about erratic topics and told crude jokes to each other. He felt happier. Some of the conversation was lost on him but she kindly got him up to speed and tried including him. When it was finally time, she was pulled aside to go on stage. By that time, Hank had walked up to him.

"Alright Connor, I just paid my tab. We can hit the road now."

"I promised to stay a little longer. She's just about to start." Hank followed Connors focus over to her then back to him.

"Whatever floats your boat. I'll be back in a bit then." Hank walked off. Thankfully still able to keep himself up straight. And there she was. Right in the center with the mic in her hand. The colored lights framed her into everyone's attention. She rocked back and forth then glanced across the room until she found him. Reassured by his presence, her gaze relaxed a bit.

He gestured more volume again to which she smiled back. Then her voice went through the speaker. His chest stirred when he heard her. Her singing wasn't pitch perfect but the insignificant imperfections are what attracted him more. Naturally conditioned through trial and error to create something worth while. That’s what he connected to. Her anomaly.

Her eye contact skimmed across the room but always lingered on him throughout the whole song like it was only meant for his ears.

He silently sang along with her in case she lost track of the lyrics but the greater part of him purely wanted to join her voice one more time.

[rochellespen]

Watching Doctor Who Season 37 (Series 11), Episode Four

Ok, I’m going to have to say it: Doctor Who has a checkered past in regards to spiders.

I mean, I understand the temptation to go with arachnid-like monsters. Spiders often creep people out, so giant, mutant spiders should have an even greater horror vibe to them. Unfortunately, it seems arachnids of all sorts never fare well when appearing in Doctor Who. 

Thus we have comically stiff spiders with goofy voices in Planet of the Spiders. We have genuinely threatening, but also drama-queen diva spiders in the meh  The Runaway Bride. And then you have  what could have been truly creepy spider-like creatures in Kill the Moon which were wasted by being featured in a dire episode like Kill the Moon.

So when I saw the title of this one, I had to resist the temptation to roll my eyes. And not just because we got another music pun/reference in an episode title (first Bowie and now the Sex Pistols...). I figured we could be in for some very first class cheese with this one.

All that said, I decided to give Arachnids in the UK a go with as open of a mind as possible.

As usual, spoilers from here onward....

Episode Thoughts

This episode went back to the season opener’s structure of having things happen that appear unrelated at first, but quickly fit together into a main plotline well before the episode ends. It’s a smart technique as it can help to cover any thinness to the plot. 

We start with Robertson, a guy who is suspiciously similar to another hotel-owning, multi-millionaire businessman with a crass, harsh personality who decided to run for president. Seriously, not since The Happiness Patrol have we been given such a painfully obvious reference to a real-life political figure on Doctor Who.

 And wait, is that Chris Noth? Why yes, yes it is. That’s something I seriously did not expect and it’s fun to see him in this. XD

Anyway, Citizen Robertson here rants about a possible threat to his political future and fires a random employee for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. This actually turns out to be not so random later on....

(Side note: They do name drop Trump later in the episode with Robertson mentioning that he can’t stand the guy. I guess that’s one way to deflect the obvious....XD)

Meanwhile, the Doctor actually manages to get her companions back to their correct time and place and soon appears to regret her efficiency. Fortunately for her, Yasmin is up for inviting everyone to tea which everyone immediately accepts.

After wonderfully awkward moments with Yasmin’s family and some poignant moments alone with Graham, we finally get to the spiders. Well sort of. We just get one spider to start out with, but there was plenty of foreshadowing before that to let us know that it won’t just be one spider.

Soon, the plot ties together when we realize that it was Yasmin’s mother who got fired and a neighbor of Yasmin’s family has a friend/co-worker/? who is a specialist in regards to spiders and who is worried that she hasn’t shown up for a few days. This eventually leads to a showdown in the lavish, recently finished hotel between humans and arachnids. 

Some more quick side notes....

The hotel they chose for the principal location is a good one. It has the right Overlook Hotel vibe to it which is perfect to accentuate the horror in this episode.

Ok, having Yasmin’s mom be the one who got fired by Robertson is a solid way to tie the plot together. Having an arachnid expert be friends with someone who lived in the same building as Yasmin’s family and having her show up just as the Doctor starts to investigate teeters dangerously toward deus ex machina territory.

But on a much funnier note, did anyone else notice someone (Ryan, I think?) making shadow puppets in the background while the Doctor and McIntyre were talking about Serious Spider Stuff in McIntyre’s lab? That’s the sort of offhand detail that I just love...

Now, back to the rest of the episode...

As can be expected with someone like Robertson, all of his employees are taken out by the spiders leaving the Doctor, her companions, Yasmin’s mom, Naija, and our new friend, Dr. McIntyre to find out that there’s is both abandoned coal mines underneath the hotel (which is niffty for the spiders to get around) and a toxic landfill that was very poorly managed.

Ok, at this point I need to stop to consider something that’s bothering me about the plot. 

I think we can all agree that Robertson is a terrible person and was horribly negligent in allowing the landfill to combine stuff willy nilly. But if we’re going to assign blame for the mutant spiders, shouldn’t some of it be placed on McIntyre and her lab? These scientist are manipulating spider DNA and apparently not being careful enough in making sure the specimens are dead before disposal. Even if Robertson didn’t have an unusually toxic landfill mutating these spiders further, those half-dead “super spiders” could have wrecked havoc on local ecosystems. Thus, I hardly think McIntyre should be acting like she’s on some sort of moral high ground compared to Robertson.

In the end, it’s decided that it’s more humane(?) to suffocate/starve all the baby spiders in Robertson’s panic room and drive the huge mother spider out of the hotel...to where, I don’t know. However, Robertson clearly wanted a chance to kill something and thus, shoots the giant spider before it can asphyxiate. 

This leads to another little issue I have. The Doctor and McIntyre were just going to watch that giant spider slowly suffocate and die. Robertson shot it once and put it out of its misery quickly. I guess I’m at a loss as to how Robertson’s solution in and of itself is crueler than a slow death. 

And the thing is, I think the writers missed an opportunity here. Having Robertson clearly show no remorse for what he did was chilling enough. But I think we could have added an even more sinister edge to his character if it was made clear that his decision to shoot the spider would be considered merciful and correct by many and that it wasn’t a black and white decision. 

That way, the horrifying aspect of his character would not have been what he did but instead the mindset and motives of why he did it. Few things are more evil that someone who hides their malevolence under the guise of good intentions. 

After that painfully abrupt ending, the Doctor prepares to leave and discovers, much to her surprise and delight, that Graham, Ryan and Yasmin aren’t ready to say goodbye to her and traveling through time and space. 

So did Arachnids in the UK avoid the usual trap of tacky spider themed episodes? Well.....

The thing is, there are several things this episode did right. The number one was a wonderful mix of humor and lowkey scares. We get moments like Ryan and Graham’s two man comedy act leading up to a terribly creepy shot of several giant spiders skittering toward them. The atmosphere of the hotel and some well placed jump scares are balanced by the hilarious sight of mutant spiders gravitating a energetic grime tune (actually listened to it again while writing this, and it really set the mood). 

The problem for me has to be the easy out the plot took. I get wanting to keep this an Earth-bound problem (and making an eco-statement). But the separating of the so-called “good guys” and “bad guys” wasn’t neatly done and the ending felt far too much like the writers couldn’t think of a good solution in the time they had left. 

Thus, this episode works far better as a showcase for humor, atmosphere and characterization than it does as a carefully plotted story.

Character Thoughts

So how about that characterization then?

Two things were well defined in this episode. 

The Doctor is going to continue to be socially awkward, high-energy goofball.

This Doctor is not one who wants to brood by themselves somewhere even for a few moments. She clearly is one of those Doctor who vastly prefers to travel with companions.

Continuing in the tradition of each Doctor often being a “reaction” to the previous one, Thirteen is certainly far less prickly and much more openly social than Twelve. She seems to thrive on the “family” environment a crowded TARDIS creates. The only Doctor I can compare that to is probably Five who also seemed very invested in traveling with a group although there is far, far more harmony on Thirteen’s TARDIS than there ever was on Five’s. 

Myself, I’m enjoying a return to the idea of the Doctor being warmer and more familial as I never thought being difficult and prickly were necessary solely to create a sense of “otherness” about the Doctor. Whittaker still manages this with Thirteen’s scattershot, quirky approach to experiencing new places, people and events.

A lot of the humor in this episode was pulled off nicely by Whittaker whether it’s the cringing moments of awkward around Yasmin’s family or her sudden thought that The Spider Mother in the Ballroom could be “the best novel Edith Wharton never wrote.” 

Meanwhile, Ryan and Graham also have some wonderful bits together as they (very reluctantly) keep having to go out on spider-related missions in the hotel. The two of them continue to be a fun team who are slowly trying to figure out this family “thing” they have been thrust into.

Funnily enough, while on the surface this could look like an episode that would focus more on Yasmin since we are spending time with her family....it really doesn’t. The most we get is some insight as to why she wants to travel with the Doctor: because she loves her family, but clearly doesn’t always get along with them that great. I think this is another opportunity the writers missed as we could have gotten a bit more insight into how her family played a role in the person she became. Instead, their presence seems to mainly service the plot (Naija) or try to add to the humor (the rest of her family). 

The Last Word

I’m afraid Doctor Who may never have a completely solid episode featuring spiders....even with this effort. This is episode is a fun ride most of the time with some great moments of humor and characterization, so it manages to not be truly cringe-y. However, it would have been nice if the writers had put more thought into how to end the main plotline and found more interesting ways to develop Yasmin’s family and by extension Yasmin herself.

[yiangchen]

The 100 S5 AU Where Luna Runs the Bunker Instead of Octvia

Can someone explain to me how s5 is the season of “ending the cycle (of violence)”, but Luna kom Floukru -- who was practically brainwashed as a child to kill and revel in violence, just like all the other grounders, but especially like all the other nightblood children, and despite all this she still found a way out of that and ran away to create a refuge for those who were tired of the violence -- is somehow NOT in s5???

Tell me again it would not have made more sense for her to have killed Octagon in the conclave. Not only is she the best warrior who ever lived, so it’s bad writing that Octagon snuck up on her at all. BUT ALSO, narratively, having a character like hers to teach everyone that there’s a better way?? To have this girl who yes, did admirable things by running away, but would now be forced to lead as she was destined to and she finds a better way??

So, after six years, when everyone emerges from the bunker, anything that happened in the Dark Year would stay there and Luna wouldn’t use that as an excuse to have her people fight an unnecessary war. She would 100% be against going to war, but here’s where the conflict comes in: the grounders in the bunker wouldn’t be.

These people were already part of a cult (Octagon is basically Cadogan 2.0, and Cadogan was the original cult leader of the grounders, even before Becca became their first commander) and would probably resort back to violence upon realizing that there’s only one valley left on Earth.

AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT, in this AU Jasper lives, and the way that Luna had run things down in the bunker -- when he sees this upon returning to the ground, he’s impressed with how she managed to create a peaceful society down there. Because he thought humanity wasn’t capable of stopping the cycle. Then when the grounders start to rebel against Luna -- because she would no doubt have taken up Diyoza’s terms for peace and surrendered in a heartbeat, which would be a sorta callback to how L/xa surrendered at Mount Weather and the grounders saw her as weak for this (these situations are quite different, but it’s still a slight parallel) -- Jasper would be on her side along with Monty, Harper, Bellamy and Clarke of course.

The Madi becoming commander conflict could stay the same. Because upon learning that Luna is not the last nightblood, some of the grounders might want to replace Luna with her, in hopes that they could convince her to lead them to war.

The only difference is that Bellarke would not be at odds over this. Because Bellamy’s main reason for being in support of Madi taking the chip is that she could accept Diyoza’s terms for peace, but if she had to fight Luna -- the best warrior who ever lived -- Bellamy wouldn’t have her fight. There’s no way she wouldn’t die because she’s a child and Luna is, as I said, the best warrior who ever lived and she would also be in her twenties. That’s not exactly a fair fight. Not to mention Luna is the one who killed Octagon in this AU, so Bellamy would definitely have PTSD over that and not want the same thing to happen to Madi. Also, in canon, Madi becoming commander is a potential threat to her life, whereas this would be lead to her DEFINITE death in a conclave.

So, instead of Bellarke being at odds like they are in canon, they would be on the same side, and this is how they would find their way back to each other. Because six years and a girlfriend is enough distance between them for the drama, let’s be honest. We didn’t need a betrayal and then Clarke leaving Bell to die. We just didn’t.

Speaking of Bellamy having a girlfriend, I would not have him be with E.cho in this because E.cho would not have made it into space at all. I think that she had potential, but she would have to either stay an antagonist or become a protagonist, neither of which really work.

If she had stayed an antagonist, it wouldn’t make sense. Six years and you still haven’t learned to like the people you’ve been living with? If she became a protagonist (the route that the show DID take), it’s not that it wouldn’t make sense but that there’s something kind of missing here, as everyone knows. Very few people care about her because we didn’t see her develop, and there’s no way for the writers to have accomplished that even if we had gotten space flashbacks.

A story of redemption for an antagonist takes longer than just a few flashbacks. So anyways, the writers should have left her back in s4 where imo she belongs. I think that her character has run its course and it’s honestly just weird every time I see her on my screen.

As for Bellamy having a girlfriend, I would just have him be with Emori because in this AU Memori have been broken up for longer. I just really think Bemori would have been so cute, and it would have been a natural progression from s4 to 5 because there’s no baggage between Bellamy and Emori before the six years.

Then when Emori stays with Murphy in the woods, they would start to work through things in a very similar way to how it plays out in canon (just without the kissing because Emori’s not a cheater!). She would realize that even though she and Murphy can’t be together right now, it’s only because he needs to work through some stuff before they can be. She would realize it’s not fair to be with Bellamy while she still has feelings for Murphy, and a similar realization would happen with Bellamy because of Clarke. So, when Bemori reunite, they would break up, and by the finale, we’d have Memori and Bellarke getting together.

Wow, I’ve really gone off on a tangent here, BUT GOING BACK TO LUNA, I would have Jaha survive the bunker too and have Kane and Abby die over the time jump. He’s far more interesting than those two, and I think Jaha’s political relationship with both Luna and Diyoza would have been really interesting.

Speaking of Diyoza, things would be so much different with Eligius. Like I said, Jaha would be there instead of Kane, but also, it would only be Raven, Murphy and Emori. Murphy could take E.cho’s place with the “we have to kill Zeke” thing and so instead of Raven and E.cho’s friendship being threatened (which we never got to see form in the first place), we’d have Murven’s being threatened. And we actually saw Raven forgive Murphy last season, so this would be a far more interesting conflict.

Raven would eventually convince Murphy that they need Zeke alive to escape and then, like in canon, they’d start the war as a distraction so they could do so. I would keep Zaven in this, but I’m torn because if Luna is alive, then I would have to have Sea Mechanic happen at some point. So, maybe Zaven this season and then Sea Mechanic in s6 or something. Like, Luna and Raven reunite by the end of the season and start to rebuild the friendship that they had in s4, and it would be a slowburn kind of thing through s6 and 7!

Which, by the way, would be in space/ on another planet. I think that’s the route the show is taking, so I would definitely keep that as a thing. There’s not a whole lot more to do with Earth at this point.

Going back to Eligius, things would also be different because Abby isn’t there. I would just replace her with Jackson or something. Problem solved. And yes, I know he’s not addicted like Abby is, so Diyoza wouldn’t be able to make him cure them in the same way, but I think the writers could come up with something. Either that, or just scrap the whole disease thing. I don’t know how everyone else feels, but it’s the one thing about Eligius that I’m kinda bored with. I just don’t really care because there are no characters with the disease for us to care about. Zeke and Diyoza are the only two we’re supposed to feel for, and neither of them are sick.

Without the disease, there would have to be something else to divide Eligius, but then again, McCreary is already a psychopath. There could still be a conflict with just McCreary being McCreary and not wanting to share the valley, just like in canon.

Oh, and going back to the bunker for a hot sec, Miller would still be like the guy we know and his characterization would make sense. He would be backing Luna along with Monty, Jasper, Harper, Bellamy and Clarke. Because he’s always in support of what’s best for his people (and fighting an unnecessary war, the very opposite of what’s good for his people, makes no sense in canon). Side note: Minty would definitely be a thing in this!

Anyways, this has become far longer than I intended, but the message remains the same: Luna kom Floukru had so much potential and s5 would be fixed with her in it (among a few other changes -- no E.cho, Jasper lives, and Jaha lives instead of Abby and Kane), but mainly because of Luna.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

JUST FINISHED GRAVITY FALLS

weirdmageddon was amazing! FAR better than most finales tend to be.

i wanted to know what the zodiac thing was all about though... i’d never seen it before but it was obviously important to the fans who had theorised about it.... couldnt we at least see what it would have done???? it didn’t have to be the final conflict!

ANYWAY i dont have as much to say about gravity falls as adventure time for obvious reasons so im going to rank it... Without further ado, it’s time to heavily overthink about cartoons!!!

Animation: 5 out of 5 hats - this is one of the most BRILLIANTLY ANIMATED childrens cartoon shows ive seen. there’s no weird inbetweens, the lighting for each scene is absolutely spot-on, it looks and feels amazing! honestly gravity falls looks like one of the strongest arguments for using script-driven shows instead of storyboard-driven shows, because cartoon network has never in its life produced something that looks this good.  When it used 3D CGI it was implemented smoothly. The characters had no absence of body language and cues either, it was never boring to look at. Disney does it again!!!

Humor: 4 out of 5 hats - While I dont think this show is the literal funniest thing I’ve ever watched, it is consistently entertaining throughout the entire series which is more than I can say for the two cartoons (AT and SU) that i’m unfairly comparing it to. Humor is one of GF’s strongpoints, because the jokes it throws at you out of complete nowhere will always have you on ground. I laughed SO hard during this marathon, and the jokes are obscure enough that I’ll probably do the same thing on a rewatch. The animation helps significantly too. The character designs alone, especially Mabel and her sweaters, allow for plenty of visual humor. Soos is the sort of character that you dont know what hes going to do next. Grunkle Stan conning people got some of the hardest laughs out of me. Wendy is just.... Wendy reminds me so hard of early Marceline, except she will occasionally do something really cool cos shes from a family of lumberjacks. Let’s not forget Waddles, the MVP in the humor department.

Story: 3 out of 5 hats - If I made this post yesterday, I’d have ranked it 2 out of 5 hats. I never felt that there was any “story” to gravity falls, only some kind of ARG that added nothing to the experience because none of the questions were solvable until the answers had been revealed. But the second half of season 2 ups the ante on story by focusing on the Pines family and their relationships to each other, and you can feel tension rise especially when Dipper starts to hang aound Ford a little too much and you sense that poor Mabel is gonna be left in the dust just like Stan before her. Weirdmageddon also was way more entertaining than I expected! And how it ENDED? Oh jesus! The show’s final scenes were heartbreaking, if I’d been following for longer I might have started crying.

Characterisation: 4 out of 5 hats- holy crap, it’s just so much fun seeing the Pines family play off of each other. Each group has an entertaining dynamic, whether it’s playful like Mabel, Soos, and Wendy’s shenanigans, or more serious like Stan and Ford’s conflict. There was barely any time throughout the entire series that I was annoyed by how someone was acting, or thought that it was out of place and agitating. I think I might be giving this point a rather generous score because of how feelgood it was, rather than complex or deep, which in many areas it wasnt. For example earlier in the show the conflicts felt dumb, like the Jurassic Park episode where everyone was acting vaguely out of character to cause a sense of drama? idk. But later on it got more heartfelt, if predictable. Where else do I think it can do better?

Worldbuilding: 2 out of 5 hats - Yep, the area where I think Gravity Falls does the worst is worldbuilding. For 2 big reasons: The wasted potential of Gravity Falls itself, and the way its inhabitants were used. Maybe I’m just spoilt by the AMAZING job Adventure Time and Steven Universe do with this, but the land of Gravity Falls fails to be as interesting as Ooo or as realistic as Beach City. Idk, i think it’s more ENTERTAINING than Beach City but more because I get more laughs out of the show than recent SU. The issue with Gravity Falls’ civilians is that unless you’re a Pines, youre a straight up Cartoon Character. That rules your characterisation and your purpose for existence. This is fine and yes there are some memorable characters but they never have those hilarious moments of humanity, like the episode Root Beer Guy where the title character gets into conflict with his wife cos she thinks hes too involved with his actual realistic mystery novels, or the Graybles ep where Starchy ran away from the candy kingdom to get rid of a tracker in his tooth cos he knows  PB was spying on him, and he runs a little club conspiring against her like some kind of real life political group. His club and Kim Kil Whan having King of Ooo memorabilia lmao. I’m getting too into this but its moments like that which make Adventure Time feel great. 

As for GRAVITY FALLS ITSELF, yeah because the world doesn’t feel as real as it could be I never wanted to see what it had to offer next, and there’s never explanation for all of this. The journals play a much smaller role in the series than Dipper’s reactions over them would have you think. The closest thing to an explanation is the pondering over whether a spaceship caused the weirdness in GF or was drawn to the area because of this weirdness. But is it magic? Is it science? Is it different dimensions? Fuck knows! Is there any hint about the truth? I’m not sure! Yeah, not all things need to have answers, but it helps fire off the thinkpan. In Adventure Time the Land of Ooo’s weirdness is linked to an apocalypse that helped bring magic back to the land. The hint is that the magic potential was always there, because there were magical societies around millenia before humanity. Did magic disappear because of a comet hitting the planet? Is magic actually based on scientific principles? Like GF, not all these questions have direct answers, but unlike GF, you have enough incentive and evidence to construct your own theories. It lets you get absorbed in the lore of Ooo, of the characters inhibiting it. This is my own perspective anyway. 

I think the most amazing mysteries I ever saw unwravel were Simon and Marcy’s adventures, and more relevant to my own experiences, PB’s age. Like there was puzzle pieces and hints around indicating Peebles had been around way longer than 18 years or whatever but we finally got confirmation in Season 5.2 where we saw consecutive episodes showing her in the past. The theory was that she was younger than 1000, but could be any age older than about 50. The Vault was a shock origin story for not just Finn having had a past life as a girl without an arm (THE ARM BEING ANOTHER ADVENTURE TIME THING THAT EVENTUALLY GOT some really back and forth PAYOFF), it was an origin story for peebles and the candy kingdom! but why would she make it?? ? yeah this was all stuff we were able to construct theories for, and accurate theories, because the evidence was there and more significantly the Writers were putting it together at the same time. It almost felt like we were having an INPUT in the story because of this natural way it evolved over time. That’s why AT’s mysteries are far more engaging than those of Gravity Falls, at least for me.... but maybe the same thing happened to GF fans????? Because I wasn’t there to put the pieces together, to study the Pines family or the Bill Zodiac which.... was almost as much a copout as Finn’s arm but its ok cos the stan deleting his memories shit was a decent end anyway. I just dont know why theyd  put a mystery like that IN there if it was always going to be a red herring???

To conclude this description which..... ended up being another reason to talk about Adventure Time again, I want you to know that I REALLY enjoyed Gravity Falls. It reminded me of Over the Garden Wall in how it’s told, the characters it has, but much larger and grander than OtgW ever was. 

My favourite characters were Stan and Mabel. Yeah, Dipper and Ford were very interesting characters too, but while they’re among the top of their trope, they still feel like an overdone trope to me.... especially dipper and his Issues,,, Stan meanwhile I liked that he was a runaway fuckup nobody as a child who became a professional conman after his parents kicked him out. That was an interesting backstory.  

Gravity Falls, all in All, gets 3.5 out of 5 hats. To keep it real. Spend them wisely.

[elizabethrobertajones]

I just want to say, and I haven't had any coffee yet, so I hope this makes sense/doesn't sound rude, but I don't *like*, at all, being someone whose opinion is somehow more important, final, or intimidating than anyone else's. My blog is literally just *my blog*, which I have been talking on for years about Supernatural and people enjoy talking back to me. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't, sometimes I grudgingly reblog 100 pieces of meta on a subject I kinda hate or am disinterested in (like Amara after season 10 or Jack after season 12 for "disinterested" examples although I'm not gonna spill what I hate :P) because I have weird principles about at least trying to collect meta that makes sense to me or something...

But yeah, my meta is one thing, my opinions, as I said last night but I'll repeat here in another post, are entirely my own thing and your opinions are entirely your own thing, and they do NOT cancel each other out because I gob on all the time about mine on a blog which has a fair number of followers and a large collection of meta to trick people into thinking I know what I'm talking about all the time. All I've done is survive multiple mass-exoduses of fans who got fed up with the show and its ways before it ended, and left, leaving me in a weird position of being kinda prominent and well-established by sheer attrition that much smarter or more talented people up and left to greener pastures. I don't feel like any part of this process makes me somehow better and scarier than everyone else. In real life I'm an awkwardly laughing nerd who falls asleep in the corner at parties and has been keeping an intense fandom blog for like 4 years, to whatever detriment to the personality that causes in polite company. :P

Anyway I weighed in on a debate last night as I usually do when I talk about something here by explaining a huge chunk of meta for where I saw this thing coming from textually (see also: nerd), and threw in my opinion on the end, and now I have a bunch of replies where people sound like they're dying of horror to even dare disagree with me, despite me trying to cram in multiple disclaimers that I'd reached the opinion part of the discussion, that I knew people had different opinions, and this was literally the part of my discussion that was my own bias for why I want to see things go a certain way.

The textual analysis was not meant to scare anyone into thinking I can't be argued with, I just wanted to sound the whole thing out and explain in detail why this was even a thing back to the roots as far as I knew about them. As I said to the first reply that sounded like I was going to literally murder them for disagreeing, everything that anyone's disagreeing with here is the second part, my opinion on it all, which I have tried SO HARD to convey is the bit which is mine, my own, my precious. And you can't take it from me, you CAN agree with me, and I am not going to go around taking other people's preciouses when I'm already sitting in my dank cave with THIS one. All I can do to disagree is clarify to the best of my ability what I meant and where I think our opinions differ. I mean the replies on that post are now deeply upsetting to me because it sounds like people think that the louder, chattier people in this fandom have *any* special power to be agreed with other than "talked louder; inevitably someone either pays you money to shut up, or people start listening".

So okay apparently people listen to me and I have an intimidating opinion. Here's my intimidating opinion of the day: my opinion, nor anyone else's, is worth ANY more than yours, whoever you are reading this.

Meta is just a discussion of the show, and the meta I've generally written and reblogged has been textual analysis where opinion is mostly in the spec at the end, but most of the post is trying to say "what does this mean if the show put this in"... It also causes problems where people think the meta is authoritative, trying to dictate the show, whatever, by being phrased as saying what we think the show is saying usually without disclaimers about personal investment or degree of credulity we're lending it all... but there's a difference between trying to work out the message and writing down what we think it is (even when we don't like it, even when the message is something like telling us we take it too seriously :P) and having an opinion on it.

So I can think the show has put in some pretty heavy subtext that Dean and Crowley hooked up. I didn't particularly *like* it at the time, and that was my opinion, but I still reblogged bunches and bunches of meta about it (and eventually warmed up to the concept once we were out of several different danger zones that really put me off what the show's message seemed to be at first), because it was something I saw in the show and it was so obvious it was hard at times to talk about anything else. I know there are people out there who are still clinging on that it didn't happen at all and that is also an analysis and an opinion, and probably an easier one for them to deal with on the subject. There's people who grudgingly give the show that they had that subtext, let it have happened, but refuse to engage in it because they think it sucks and they don't like Crowley. That's also their right. There's people who love it to bits and immediately shipped it and it's really important to them. That's ALSO their right and still not exactly where I am with it although since I kinda got into the middle of all that by reblogging so much meta about it we seem to be on the best terms of all these different options :P There's myriad other opinions on it all, including probably that meta writers are being ridiculous for even daring to look for any kind of subtext in the first place. (A refusal to engage with the text is, ironically, also engaging with the text at least for discussion purposes, hence like, MOST fandom drama between people who just want to spread hate and think they have a definitive reading of it all >.>)

I read a lot of posts here from more than just the specific bits of opinion I agree with, and I see a lot of opinions flowing by in all different camps of the show that I think are fine that people have. And as people have got disillusioned with the show I used to agree with on every point I learned their opinion was still just their opinion and that it still didn't affect what I wanted to feel, and so I carried on mouthing off my opinion as people I once agreed with left or fell out of love with the things we used to have an equal love in. And all these opinions are based in things people read in the show and they can offer up their evidence for it, and if it's well argued, I'll read the whole thing, and even agree with every point they argue, and still walk out of there with my original opinion intact if I can be absolutely sure that I have my own footing for why I think what I think. And that's that. I read a 70k long meta about why Sam is a horrible person and I still love him and will defend him for these things, but the meta I read made some awfully good and intelligent points about the writing of the show that at the very least I will from now on take deep into my understanding of the writing in the bit it was talking about, while still not feeling like Sam as an emotional construct is something I now have to hate or that I can't find his side and feel empathetic towards it as well. (Also I am the sort of person who reads a 70k meta on why a fave is awful if it's well-argued, without raising my own blood pressure or changing my mind on the important parts, so I suppose there's that to know about me... :P)

Anyway. As usual a lot of words to say something simple. I'm not an authority. I'm glad people enjoy my meta and look to me to talk about the show in my own rambly way, but when I have an opinion on something you're allowed to disagree. I knew that debate was sensitive but I wanted to explain my own side properly because I thought that would be *more* sensitive than just saying my opinion, as if it were fact, and people are treating it like they're having to fight the system now and I am way too anarchic for that. Please don't turn me into a pillar of authority, I'm a dweeb in sheepie pyjamas. I should not be dictating people's opinion on a TV show, just offering textual arguments and my own opinions for people who are too lazy to type it out and agree with it themselves, and if they don't agree with me, to be able to make their own posts about their own opinions.

If the reason you want to disagree with me is the opinion part of my posts, then that's okay, you can do that. You can make your own posts, you can reply to my post although I'm not going to have a clue what to say. Your opinions are your opinions, and YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH OPINIONS. I am NOT going to go reply to people who have a deep investment in an opinion who are disagreeing with MY OPINION and say "You can't have that opinion, your subjective emotional stake in a thing is WRONG".

I think we have a slight misunderstanding going around between meta and opinion. Meta is analysis. Opinion is how we feel about it. Me laying out a bunch of analysis is not disagreeing or throwing a pile of quotes around to try and prove I have some higher ground on my opinion (in fact in this case I thought there was a broad agreement on the textual reading and a vast gulf on the opinion, of which I was asked mine >.>), it's an attempt to explain and lay down the facts I think are at work to inform opinions, and the narratives I see that have already been put into the show on something. My opinion is what I think should happen with that with an emotional stake of what makes me feel good or bad about it. Nothing is going to change what I feel good or bad about here except for the show doing more with it.

I felt bad about Dean and Crowley after 10x04 because Dean said he was "embarrassed". I felt good about Dean and Crowley after 10x17 where they were philosophical and friendly. I felt horrified about Dean and Crowley after 11x02 when Crowley made the "choirboy" comment that seemed to go waaay over the bounds of implying the dub con I was worried about all along. I felt conflicted about Dean and Crowley after 11x06 where Dean turned out to have kept Crowley's messages on his phone. I started to feel better after 11x22 and 23 where they had the dynamic from 10x17 which put me at ease. In 12x15 I was actively nostalgic along with Crowley because they'd moved to such a good place and the narrative showing Crowley to the door wanted to make a final comment on how this relationship had been for them. My OPINION and what made me feel good or bad kept changing. My READING that the show's subtext was telling us pretty much directly that they'd hooked up, had not changed since 10x01 and the comment about how they'd "Had a room" that I think was even in a promo before the episode, never mind once we got the actual episode and we learned about the triplets :P This is the difference between meta and opinion to me. In the early part of season 11 I was actively upset about this dynamic because I thought it had gone too far. The writing made me feel better and now it's all over I'm genuinely fond of it as the way they managed to leave off, which is an impressive feat for a ship that once made me laugh in hysterical confusion, and at another point actively squicked me out.

Anyway current canon has left me at a point on the other thing where I see a pattern that has emotionally meant pretty much the same thing to me the entire time it's been unfolding on my screen and I've been watching along with fandom and reading all the meta explaining the stuff I see on screen. I feel like there's not a great deal of wiggle room on interpretation of some instances for the basic message the show is trying to convey about where it's going or why it's doing certain things, and it's usually just the weight you give them that your opinion can affect the reading. A lot of these things are fairly black and white meaning to me because the context was so heavily laden with that overflowing Carver era symbolism that I learned to read from meta writers past (and a few thankfully still present). I'm going to assume and act like it's a prevailing opinion because when I was fandom new it was a loud and often-repeated idea and everyone I saw talking about it seemed to be excited and excitement is infectious. The excitement was the feeling, the opinion, the bias rolling off of all this. The meta underneath was what was making them excited and debating it as a concept a thousand miles an hour. My opinion that it's a good thing probably comes from this season 9 era happy acceptance of the idea, and nothing's really happened to change my opinion or make me feel differently. So the meta I call on is mostly of the era I remember it being discussed the most in the text and therefore by the fandom, and the feeling I have about it hasn't much changed. If that makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about, it's because this is an extremely well-worn groove to me, always leading to the same conclusions and generally being soaked in positive feeling.

I'm sorry there are people who are upset by the concept but I'm not sorry for my opinion and feelings and I feel like this whole thing is a really weird mess where people are using my post to debate my opinion with their own opinions, and feelings will always be at cross purposes and I can't help that. I can't meta away feelings. I can't meta up new feelings. The only thing that will change my opinion is the show producing new context which makes me feel weird and uncertain about my previous opinion, which I am liable and happy to change. And we're at a really weird and upsetting for everyone cross purposes where opinions are being given the debatable value of meta and treated as if they're the main statement, the main idea, the main reason anything is happening. When a subject's debatable issue is entire in what everyone FEELS about it, everyone is always going to be upset, and someone who writes long wordy posts and then attaches an opinion at the end is going to seem, apparently, like they're some sort of undebatable pillar when in fact their opinion is meaningless to yours and they just like talking a lot about the show and explaining where their opinion even comes from in the first place.

The debatable part to me would be anywhere I mention something that happened in an episode and then explain my reading of what it meant in fairly straightforward terms of parallels and symbolism or contrasts and seeming statements on character feeling and intent. My opinion attached to the end is not something I am going to let go of, NOR do I expect YOU to let go of YOUR opinion to engage me on the subject.

And that goes for basically everything.

So I will not be replying to that post and its replies because they're all opinion based on what makes people feel good or bad, and I see it as completely futile because *ALL I CAN DO* in this case is hurt people by doubling down on my opinion of what makes me feel good and bad about that speculation.

So all I can say is that I am NOT an authority and opinions are NOT META (which is still just a reading that can be argued in different ways, but for the sake of opinion posts, the basis on where that opinion comes from and the ~authority~ you're using to feel that way, even if the authority you get that opinion from is your own interpretation), not mine, not yours. They're a discussion about how we feel about the show and carry little weight in analysis, so we need to stop arguing with each other on entirely theoretical speculative subjects where people have high emotions about it, without recognising what we are doing and how people will get hurt when posing the idea that opinions can ever be objective or a way to force people to agree with you. I'm sorry only that my disclaimers last night were not enough to make it clear I was worried about this exact thing happening, and that this lead to people expressing that I'm somehow a master opinion you can't argue with.

By all means collect up people who share an opinion and make friends and feel better about it. It's OKAY to disagree with people who you see as otherwise apparently making a lot of sense and being worth listening to. No one agrees on everything all the time and it's weird if you do. There's a couple of meta writers I agree with on just about everything except one particular topic where I was quite amused to see those two disagreeing on every point and then though I didn't reply I had my own, different and wildly conflicting, opinion, from the BOTH of them, on every single example they gave. So we'll just... not discuss those sort of things with each other I suppose :D And we get on and on every other point, it seems, continue to reblog from each other and agree loudly. And I hope people disagreeing with my opinion and each other's opinion on these things don't just cut off ties from each other despite agreeing on many other topics, because of this one thing.

TL;DR - I am not interested in starting an opinion or personality cult where I'm always right. I'm really really not interested in smacking down people's opinions who disagree with me. I'm completely chill with other people's opinions existing out there, and I really really hate that opinions upset people because they're taken as fact, and I think rather than saying opinions are inarguable, I kinda think we should just be allowed to HAVE them and go about our business. And I'm hereby releasing my opinions on everything people disagree with into the void to say they are utterly meaningless if you disagree with them, and hold absolutely no weight on what you're allowed to think or publicly express.

(PS: pls talk more all the time about the ideas you have and don't feel like there's some sort of meta authority. I am so socially anxious I used to sweat and shake and triple-read my replies to people I thought were meta authorities until I realised I was always going to admire them, but we were all basically doing the same thing, shooting the breeze about the show, and no one was more important or authoritative than the others. If there's some sort of wall between communicating because there's a perceived meta ivory tower, please know that everyone you think is at the top of the tower is someone who still sees themselves as standing in the ground floor lobby of said tower, confused about how they were even let in the door, and seeing someone else above them on the higher floors.)

[sunshinykittens-blog]

Not Enough Alcohol in NYC...

Saturday, November 25 the wee hours of the morning. I think.

I would love to go to sleep right now, God knows I have been through enough chaos the past 72 hours to qualify for hazard pay, or at least PTSD treatment. The flights, the usual holiday family drama (not EVEN my family), an empty apartment, snotting all over some Tower residents, new digs…but I probably should start from the beginning…

Wednesday

When last we left our intrepid adventurer (that would be me), it was in an airport, JFK to be exact. I was waiting, along with Sunny and the 3 younger kids, for our flight out to Pasco (via Seattle) to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with her mom and oldest child. My kids weren’t going to be at my family gathering, so no sense in going home, especially since I’m spending an entire week home for Christmas. Besides, Sunny’s mom has been going through some health issues, and I haven’t seen her in forever. Sunny made all the flight arrangements, all I was supposed to do was pack my bag and be ready to go. So something I didn’t know about her before this day, seeing as I had never flown with her before: Sunny is paranoid about missing flights. I realize that this is one of the busiest days for traveling, and that means all the lines for everything would be extra long, but I am still not sure why we had to leave the apartment at 6 am for a 1:30 pm flight. Maybe she thought we’d get caught up in the parade traffic. But since The Man arranged for a car to take us to the airport (and pick us up upon our return Sunday afternoon), we didn’t have to worry about getting a cab or riding the subway (Sunny’s great idea). So yeah, I am grateful to The Man for the car. Amazingly, we checked bags and got through the security lines very quickly. We were through to the gate section of the airport by 10. Even though one of us was chosen for the random search (guess who that was). Luckily I didn’t have any contraband to speak of, so that was pretty smooth, except for them telling me I needed to get my driver’s license updated to my new address when I get back. Yet another thing for me to have to squeeze in before Christmas. Sunny suggested we grab some coffee and lunch while we waited for our plane. Over this meal is when she told me we had another 3 hours before we were scheduled to board. That’s when I made my last post. (BTW, the girl child is an extremely talented artist, I’ll have to post some of her work sometime soon. Oh, and Sunny did manage to catch the loose cannon. When last I saw, all the kids were still alive.)

I will say this, at least Sunny got us first class seats for our flights (yes, I said flights). It was nice, but we were kind of spread out a bit. Which is nothing compared to the connecting flight in Chicago, which was delayed over an hour for mechanical problems, and we got bumped to another plane, and everyone was pretty scattered then. For our final leg from Salt Lake, though, we were in one cluster of seats, thanks to the airline folks feeling bad for us having missed that connecting flight. After they saw how frazzled she was with the middle child, who kept wandering off. But we arrived safely at our destination airport only about 2 hours later than scheduled. Oh yes, and every time we hit an airport with wifi, Sunny would get a gazillion messages from the oldest child asking why we weren’t there. I felt bad for Sunny, so I admit I bought her a drink in Chicago and Salt Lake. And then I paid for a taxi van to drive us from the airport to her mom’s house so we wouldn’t have to wait for a shuttle.

Didn’t take long for the drama to start when we got there, though. There was only one bed in the house, and that belonged to Sunny’s Mom. The oldest hadn’t even put her bed together, so we were all sleeping on the floor. I haven’t done that in I don’t know how long. Mom started in on how worried she’d been and why were we late, and then blaming Sunny for not getting there any sooner (like we can just hijack the plane or something). But like I said before, Mom had recently had some health problems, so I just tried to overlook it and be there to support Sunny. She was going to need it. Then we all stayed up way too late (with far too little alcohol), and finally got to bed at some point after midnight. I whispered to Sunny as we were drifting off that had I known we were going to sleep on the floor, I’d have rented a car and got a hotel room. Or at least rented some rollaway beds.

Thursday, Thanksgiving

Well, this day started entirely too early for a regular day, much less a holiday, even with the extra time we got for being 3 hours later than home time. Mom had said she needed help cooking, and we were fine with that. But she needed to oversee everything and everyone, assuming we had never entered a kitchen before in our lives. By the way, who in their right mind puts an egg into their literal Stovetop Stuffing? Menu was pretty good, very standard: ham (instead of turkey, which was fine with me), stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato soufflé, rolls, and 2 kinds of pie with whipped cream. It was a store bought kind of meal; everything came out of a box, can, or bag, or was bought ready to serve like the ham. Except the pumpkin pie. The Airport Problem Child made that and did a really good job, if I do say so myself. Which I do. So as soon as everything was cooked, we had to eat – right that second! Dinner conversation included why in the world did Sunny move so far away, why didn’t she tell her mom and oldest before she moved, why didn’t she find a man and settle down, how her mom’s health was (not good and how much worse it was getting every second that Sunny wasn’t caving), how the kids liked school, Sunny works too much, maybe at least she could find a husband in New York, how were my kids doing, and when was she moving back to Washington. We tried deflecting most of that by saying we had good jobs that we liked, we were making really good money at them, and we were about to move into a secure building at the first of next month. After dinner (with an unhealthy side of stress and heartburn), everyone retired for a nap. Except for Sunny. She stayed up to clean. Of course I stayed up with her. And it took every bit of 2 hours to clean. After which, the tree came out.

Sunny is not a Christmas person, she really doesn’t like it at all. She feels it’s entirely over commercialized, which I agree with. Unlike her, I enjoy the holiday season with full gusto. My only complaint is with people who have conniption fits when people break out the Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I also find these are the same ones who then start complaining that there isn’t enough time in the Christmas season to get everything done that they want to do – starting the day after Thanksgiving. Anyway, Sunny was going to be aggravated with the evening. So first, her mom put on some Christmas station with some really annoying, tacky Christmas music. And let me tell you, that is really saying something coming from me. I love all Christmas music. At least I thought so until that night. I mean nobody liked it. Not even Sunny’s mom! And then the tree, it’s a wonder Sunny hasn’t ground her teeth down to stumps. It’s kind of old, but we couldn’t get her mom to let us run out and buy a new one. And the lights…it’s a wonder they can’t see that thing from space. You know those sort of net-type lights, the kind you drape over the shrubs outside? 5 of them. Draped onto a 6 foot tree. Then we had to add another 15 strings of plain white lights. I tell you, I needed shades when we plugged in the tree. Then the ornaments, a mix of glass, plastic, and handmade kids ornaments, and then those irritating silvery plastic icicles, the kind that clog up the vacuum. Then, just when we were starting to get into the tacky music, Mom changed it to something equally obnoxious.

About an hour later, I was questioning my decision to be there for the whole weekend. Because that’s when the oldest started in on how unfair life was and how hard she has it there. I could tell she was angling to move with us. Allow me to say one thing about the eldest child: Super Social Justice Warrior Snowflake, she’s about as far from me on the spectrum politically, religiously, and socially as you can get. And before we had left New York, Sunny made me promise that I would not start a fight with her. In other words, I’m surprised that I didn’t bite my tongue off in the short time I was exposed to her awake. She went all over the place from one thing to another, but finally I’d had enough. In fact, I don’t even remember what it was she said, or even what I said, only that I finally blew up and smacked her with an opinion that should have given her a heart attack right then and there. But her face welled up and she stormed off to her room, slamming the door shut and sobbing loud enough to be heard in Seattle. I just looked at Sunny and said I needed to get some air. I grabbed my coat and headed out the door. I walked for a good while, too bad I don’t have a fitness tracker because I easily walked 10k steps. I finally got so cold I went back inside (no hot water for a shower, but I’ve come to not expect that), and crashed in the living room with the kids instead of in the eldest child’s room with Sunny. I slept very little, eventually getting up literally at the crack of dawn for another walk.

Friday

Overnight I had come to the conclusion that neither my blood pressure nor Sunny’s family could take me sticking around for the rest of the weekend. As soon as I walked out of the door, I was on my phone with the airlines looking for the first flight out. I agreed to be on standby; even an airport had to be better atmosphere. I called a taxi, and realized everything except for my carry on bag was still in the bedroom where Sunny, the artist, and eldest child were still asleep. I was not about to go in and risk waking the crew. Instead, I tiptoed over the boys and went to the kitchen to leave a note.

“Sunny, Needed to fly back quickly. Can you please bring my suitcase when you come? See you in a couple of days. Call when I get home. Tell your mom thanks for dinner. Kate”

I carefully gathered my few things in the living room and made for the door. The youngest sat up and rubbed his eyes, then asked where I was going. I lied to the boy, told him I was needed at work, and that I’d see him in a few days. He shrugged, nodded, yawned, and went back to sleep.

I sat in the airport for only a couple of hours before I got on a flight to Denver, where I sat for two hours before I got a plane to New York. From JFK, I took a taxi back to the apartment. As I was walking up the three flights to the apartment, all I wanted to do was take a long hot bath, cuddle with my Spazzie, and get a full night’s sleep. I planned to spend the rest of the weekend lounging around and maybe doing some packing for the impending move looming on the horizon. It was about 11 pm. I unlocked the door to my apartment, stepped in, turned on the lights and saw…nothing.

Literally nothing. Every single thing was missing from our apartment. No futon in the living room. No dishes in the cabinets. No towels in the bathroom. And, the horror hit me as I realized, EVEN THE CATS WERE MISSING!!! For the third time since I moved to New York, I was dialing 911 to report a theft. And, bless her heart, Officer Yang came to take the report. I tried to give a pretty good description of what was missing. Her partner went down to the super’s apartment but there was no response. About half past midnight, Jake’s mom came home from her shift and looked in. We found out from her that a group of men had come first thing that morning and had been packing up our stuff. She had assumed that she had misremembered the date of our move. She offered to let me stay in their apartment, but I didn’t relish another night sleeping on the floor. Instead I called a cab as soon as the police left.

I had thought about going to a hotel, but figured they would pretty much be booked solid. I decided the best place for me to go would be to the Tower. I knew there were comfortable looking sofas, at least, and I figured that all the residents were gone for the holiday. Maybe I could convince The Man to hurry up the remodel because we really did have nothing. No sense in buying furniture, moving into the old apartment to just have to move it the following week. I had the taxi drop me off at the Tower, and I stood just outside to make the phone call I was dreading. I had to tell Sunny we had been cleaned out. I got her voicemail, which made some sense to me. It was closing in on 1:30 am, which was 10:30 pm there.  And her mom was always fussing about her being on her phone. I left her a message and promised to call after I got some sleep. Then I went inside.

The night guard was someone I hadn’t met before, but I had my badge so he let me in. The elevator ride up was the longest leg of my journey. I was reviewing all the events in my head and was starting to feel overwhelmed when the doors opened on the 91st floor. I had decided that I was going to have a cup of tea before trying to find a blanket and settling in on the sofa in the lounge. Surely The Man wouldn’t begrudge me that after everything I had been through. I hung up my coat and stashed my carry on in the closet and entered the common area, headed to the stove to heat water in the rarely-used kettle.

Standing at the island were three men. I recognized Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes from news stories I had seen over the years. The other one was unfamiliar to me. They were casually dressed, sweatpants and tees. It appeared they had just come down from the training room, they were slightly sweaty with a healthy glow. Captain Rogers was pouring some post-workout smoothie thing into glasses. I took a deep breath, feeling everything from the past few days welling up behind my eyes, and my nose starting to tingle and burn. I was desperately trying to contain my emotions in front of the people that I was definitely going to be running into in the halls and elevators, residents of the Tower. I was not going to lose control.

They glanced over at me as I came in. Captain Rogers welcomed me, asking if I was one of the housekeepers. I told him I was and then he said he thought we’d be back Sunday evening and where was my partner. I told him that she was still in Washington, and we were supposed to be back Sunday, but I had to leave early. Sergeant Barnes then asked why. And I think that’s where I started to lose that tenuous hold on my emotions. I tried telling them about the disastrous 24 hours that Thanksgiving had been, but I think I became a bit flustered. I don’t think I was making sentences. And then pieces of the past 2 days came spilling out and I absolutely burst into tears. Next thing I knew, I was seated on a stool at the island, Sergeant Barnes was doing his best to awkwardly comfort me with an arm around my shoulders, and the man I didn’t know was pressing a tumbler of some form of alcohol into my hand and demanding that Captain Rogers go find Mr. Stark and bring him up immediately. Before long, hthe Captain had returned with The Man Himself in tow. I will admit, he was concerned to see me sitting there sobbing, and he asked me what was wrong. I lost it again, someone handed me a handkerchief, and after about 5 more minutes, I regained some control. I blew my nose, took a deep breath and started to speak, but when I tossed back half the dark amber liquid, there went my voice.

When it returned, I told him as calmly as I could about the stress at Sunny’s mom’s house, that I just had to leave before really bad things were said, the layovers, the crying babies, coming home to a literally empty apartment, finishing up with the emotional outbursts they had all just experienced, which I assured him was a rare occasion, and could I please have a blanket so I could crash on the sofa. I finished the drink while waiting for the answer. I noticed glares aimed at The Man from the others in the room. And then the Captain threatened to call Miss Potts. Finally The Man said to follow him.

We went down on the elevator together, all four of us. I could almost feel the heat of the glares directed at my boss. This was the second elevator ride I’d had with him that was in complete silence, but somehow I felt like the awkwardness was coming from him this time. The doors opened on the 62nd floor.  I followed The Man down the hall to the door opposite the one he had showed us at the beginning of the week, the others behind me like some sort of guard or something. I now thought that what he was going to do was bring up a bed for me. Maybe this convinced him to complete the remodeling ASAP. But when I stepped into the now opened doorway, I was completely flummoxed. There, inside that room, was my apartment. Complete with cats. Spazzie came racing towards me and I scooped him up cuddling and scratching behind his ears. And I started crying again. I put him down for a minute and asked what the hell was going on.

The Man shrugged and told me he’d figured it would be great if we came back and found everything already moved in. One less thing for us to worry about, as it were. They had gone in, packed everything up and moved it, though they hadn’t known what stuff was mine and what was Sunny’s, so unfortunately we were going to have to go through the boxes ourselves. I was really jet lagged, and it was after 2 in the morning, so it took a little while for everything to sink in. But when it did…

I yelled, I screamed at him, I cried big fat hot mad tears. Sergeant Barnes smirked, thoroughly enjoying every word. Sunny’s cat, Aaron, came into the room and started pawing at me. I scooped him up and continued ranting. And then I realized something was climbing my leg. I looked down to see this cute little gray tabby kitten working its way up. And that was most definitely not my cat. I’d never seen it before. The guys all insisted that it must be ours because it was inside the apartment when they packed it up. And it had a collar. About then I felt all my energy drain from my body. I ordered them out and told them that we would finish this conversation tomorrow. I fell into the bed in the bedroom and pulled a comforter up over me. Spazzie curled up behind my knees, Aaron was behind me, and the kitten sprawled out on the pillow next to me. I’ve got to call Sunny tomorrow to let her know everything is OK and to just come to the Tower as soon as she gets in. But right now I need to sleep.