#anyways I cut it cutting potatoes yesterday

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

freaking it on the living room floor twitching dead cockroach style. Amen.

[issdisgrace]

Can I please have Thomas Hewitt x male reader where the reader is also serial killer?(he was a serial killer before he met Thomas)

🔪

MOVED AWAY

WARNINGS: Talks of bullying. use of the f slur, murder

I met Thomas Brown Hewitt when I started working at the local slaughterhouse. He was a big quiet guy that wore a leather mask covering the bottom half of his face. Because of said mask and his quiet nature, he was frequently made fun of, called names, and made the butt of many jokes. But Thomas was a hard worker. He worked harder than any of the low lives that made fun of him. He was always the first one there and the last one to leave. I admired him from a fair for a while until one day the harassing was just so bad and Thomas was just taking it. It had started since those low lives arrived for work today, and now it was well into the afternoon. It was getting on my last nerve and when they started calling him an inbred faggot, something inside of me snapped. I finally said something and let’s just say some words were exchanged and coupled with the fact Ii was similar in height and stature as Thomas, they backed away, clearly not brave enough to face me like true men.

 From then on, me and Thomas started to become friends and good ones at that. He was much smarter than they had given him credit for. And as I grew to know Thomas more, that burning desire that got me here in this shit town was back again. The only reason why I was in this town in the first place was because my little hobby was discovered, but I manage to avoid police and ended up here. The law didn’t take too kindly to people like me, anyway I guess they just don’t enjoy ridding the earth of scum. God where those people that said all those things to Thomas scum. A couple of them had already “moved away.” But there were still some to go, like David Sinclair, one of the biggest piece of shit that made fun of poor Thomas. He “moved away” a yesterday.

Now with every mostly quiet. Me and Thomas were left in peace for the most part. Our relationship was flourishing. It was nice, so nice that today I asked Thomas if he would like to have dinner with me tomorrow as it was both of our day off. He nodded, and we made it a date. It was around 5 when I started getting dinner ready nothing to fancy, just some steak and potatoes. It was around 5:30 when Thomas arrived. He looked nice. You could tell he cleaned up, and he cleaned up nicely. No doubt by his mother??? Luda May that I have been told much about but yet to get the privilege of meeting. I let him in and we made small talk while we ate.

It was halfway through dinner when a thud is heard, then followed by David bolting out of the room, he moved to down the hallway towards the front door. I quickly get up, not paying attention to Thomas any more, grab one of the steak knives and chase after him. Stabbing him in the back before he was even able to make it off the porch. He screamed as I dragged the knife down his back, cutting him open. I got off of him as he started to bleed to death. I sighed as I stood. This was definitely not how I expected my night to go. I look back to the door way there Thomas standing there watch his eyes flicker from David to me.

“Look, I can explain. Trust me.”

The conversation that followed was quiet, along with one. Starting with why I moved to the town in the first place and my hobby. Then to why David was well kidnapped and now dead to the others that “moved away.” It was hard to tell if Thomas was flattered or not, but he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Not by the murders and, least of all, not bothered by my feelings for him. It was nice to have confirmation that he felt the same way I do about him. It was refreshing, to say the least. I could tell that this would be the starting of a very long relationship. 

[morganski-19]

The One with the Trifle Pt 1

Pretend it’s Thanksgiving please and thank you. Flashback to Eddie’s first Thanksgiving after moving to the city. (If you’re a friends fan or know this episode, this will only be about the trifle bit and not the secret revealing section at the end of the episode. That will be coming at another time.)

Robin is standing in the kitchen with a large glass container in front of her. She’s carefully reading the instructions of a cookbook, pulling out ingredients as she goes. Steve comes out of the bathroom and walks over to the kitchen.

“Are you sure you got the dessert this year? We both know what happened last Christmas,” he asks, again. For the third time.

Robin rolls her eyes. “That was a fluke. I think I really got it this time. And, nothing is going in the oven, just stove top.”

“You say that like it makes it better. I’ve seen you burn water before.”

“No, that was dry pasta that I forgot to add the right amount of water to, so it dried up and then burned. But that was years ago. Now I know how to use the stovetop.”

Steve sighs. “If you need anything, I mean anything, I’ll be right across the hall helping Nancy with the rest of the food. No question is too stupid to ask me.”

“We both know that is a lie.”

“What are you making anyway?” Steve leans over the counter to see the cookbook.

Robin picks it up to show him. “It’s a trifle, from this old British cookbook I found at the thrift store. Cute, right.”

“Yeah, if you don’t fuck it up.”

Robin smacks him with the book. “Out, out. Go help Nancy and stop making fun of me.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop making fun of you, but whatever.” Steve walks across the hall to Nancy’s apartment. She’s in the kitchen basting the turkey while Eddie, Argyle, and Jonathan are sitting on the couch watching the parade.

“Steve, thank God. I needed someone who,” she turns her head to the living room, “actually knows what they’re doing.” She stares at the back of Eddie’s head.

Eddie makes a large gesture. “I didn’t know it was possible to fuck up cutting green beans.”

“It is when you cut them like this.” Nancy holds up a green bean sliced down the middle lengthways.

Steve winces. “How the hell did you think this is how you cut green beans.”

Eddie stands up. “That’s it. I’m going to hang out with Robin, at least she won’t make fun of me.”

“You sure about that,” Argyle snorts.

“She is just as bad as cooking as Eddie apparently is, it’s honestly fifty-fifty with how this goes.” Steve starts to peel the bowl of potatoes.

Eddie gives them the finger before shutting the door.

“Speaking of,” Jonathan turns to face the kitchen, “Do we have a backup dessert for when Robin eventually ends up burning hers?”

Nancy gives Steve a death glare. “Do you want to explain or should I?”

Steve sighs. “I had parent teacher conferences yesterday and didn’t have time to bake anything.”

“Because.”

Another sigh. “Because I went on a date with this girl I’ve been talking to for a few weeks.”

Argyle stiffens, having gotten close to Eddie in the past few months. Knowing how he feels about Steve. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

Steve shrugs. “It’s not that serious to be honest. We’ve only been on the one date.”

“And now we will end up eating whatever Robin ends up burning because someone couldn’t push it off until next week.” Nancy angrily jabs at the bread she is cutting.

“Woah, Nance, take a deep breath. Your parents aren’t coming this year, it’s just us. There’s nothing to stress about.” Steve stops peeling the potatoes to try and rub her shoulder, only to get his hand swatted away.

“Yeah,” Argyle agrees. “I’ve eaten plenty of Robin’s burnt cookies, and I’m still here. Some of them were pretty good actually.”

Steve gets a text from Robin.

Robin: Quick questions, how do I tell if the butter is browned

Robin sends an image

Steve: About five minutes before it looks like that

Robin: Shit

A while later, Steve is watching the stove while Nancy takes a break on the couch. Eddie opens the door, barely poking his head through before calling Steve into the hall. He calls Nancy back into the kitchen before heading out into the hall with Eddie.

“So,” Eddie draws out as Steve closes the door. “We have a bit of a problem.”

“Oh God, what did she do?”

“There’s beef involved.”

Steve’s eyes bug out. “What? Beef? How, I thought she was making a trifle.”

“She mostly is,” Eddie says. “Just this cookbook is the weirdest one ever where the recipes are mixed in with each other instead of in their own sections. And it’s an old book, and some of the pages were stuck together. So, turn the page to get to the rest of the recipe, and it’s a recipe for shepherd’s pie.”

Steve makes a horrified face. “Nancy is going to kill me. Like straight up murder. I will be dead tomorrow.”

“Why? Robin’s the one making the dessert. Shouldn’t she be the dead one.”

“That’s the thing. I always have a backup dessert. It’s a little game we play each year. Robin wants to try to bake again but leaves it in a little too long and it gets burnt. Or accidently adds salt instead of sugar. Or thinks she knows better than the recipe and adds too much flour. So, then I come in with another dessert for the people who don’t like to eat burnt cake. She isn’t the best at cooking, or baking, but she tries, and it brings her so much joy, so we let her do it and eat the dessert. But then mine is like the palate cleanser. Except this year there isn’t a palate cleanser and we’re going to eat a trifle with beef in it.” Steve takes in a deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate.

Eddie nods, trying to process everything. “That’s kind of sweet that you guys eat messed up baked goods just to make her happy.”

“Yeah well, it’s Robin. No one really likes to make her upset. Which she will be if we let her know that this is a major fuck up.”

“So we’re going to eat the beef dessert thing. There’s fruit and custard involved.” Eddie makes a disgusted face.

Steve gags at the thought. “Yeah, yep, yes. We are. I’m going to do damage control, you keep her happy. And if the pages become unstuck before the beef gets added, no one will be mad at you for interfering.”

“It’s already been done. There is no stopping it.”

“Alright then. I’m going to go get murdered, it’s been nice knowing you.”

Eddie nods before going back into Robin’s apartment. Steve takes a deep breath before walking back into the apartment.

“What did Eddie want?” Nancy asks.

“Nothing that important, Jon can I talk to you for a second.” Steve rushes past Nancy and pulls Jonathan into Eddie’s room. “We have a problem.”

Jonathan adjusts his shirt. “One that you had to physically pull me into a bedroom for.”

“Yes. Robin mixed up two recipes and now there’s beef in an English Trifle.” Steve makes a face like he’s bracing for impact.

Jonathan stands there silent for a few seconds, blinking. “It was nice knowing you.” He pats Steve on the shoulder.

Steve rolls his eyes. “I am already very aware of the fact that I am dead, but we do in fact have to eat the beef trifle.”

“No we don’t,” Jonathan says with disbelief.

“It’s Robin,” Steve shrugs. “We have to.”

Jonathan nods, pained. “We do. Remind me to get super high before dessert comes out, it will help it all go down. Hell, I might like it.”

“You mind telling Argyle about this, I have to go tell Nancy.”

“I’ll go guard the knives. Good luck.”

Steve and Jonathan leave the room. Jonathan going over to Argyle and whispering something in his ear, Argyle seeming indifferent to the news. Steve takes a deep breath before asking Nancy to talk in her room.

“What happened?” Nancy cuts to the chase, crossing her arms.

“Robin. Lovely, sweet, kind, sometimes confused when it comes to baking, Robin. May have mixed up two recipes when making the dessert.”

Nancy takes the first part well. “That doesn’t seem too bad. They were both desserts, right?”

“That’s the thing. Apparently, this book has the recipes mixed up and not in sections. So when the pages were stuck together, one page was an English trifle, and the other was a Shapard’s pie.”

“What,” Nancy yells. “How can those to be mixed up?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I was here helping you with the rest of the food.” Steve takes a step back.

Nancy follows after her, slapping him on the arm. “I can’t believe this. Robin is going to be crushed when we won’t eat it. Then she’ll be mortified when she realizes her mistake.”

Steve makes a pained face.

“Steve, we’re not going to eat this are we?” Nancy’s death glare sets in again.

“It’s Robin, of course we have to.”

Nancy starts hitting him again mixed in with anger about his mess up. When she calms down, she says, “I am doing this, not for you, but for Robin. Because I cannot even begin to think about how she’s going to react when she figures this all out.”

Nancy leaves the room without saying another word. Steve goes back to the living room and flops on the couch, being dramatic about the nonexistent bruises that Nancy gave him. She did not hit him as hard as she could have, or wanted to.

“Get up you big baby and get your ass back into the kitchen,” Nancy says from the kitchen.

Steve turns his head towards Jonathan and Argyle. “You know, sometimes I wonder why we broke up in college. And then I am reminded why.” He stands and goes to the kitchen.

part 2 coming tomorrow

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging, @potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1

[soullikethesea]

I really should have taken a med yesterday. I tried the weighted blanket instead, which did help me get some hours of sleep.

Today is a bit of an intense day, because it's the first official day of work again and we're having a training day. Seems fine, except that it involves every person giving a one hour presentation. 😬

That's actually a bit scary! And so long! Apart from being nervous about speaking, I'm also nervous about listening. So long!

Anyway, I'll be glad when today is over.

I'm still feeling awful. But yesterday I did a tiny amount of gardening (weeding) and also planted some seeds. It's lovely to see things growing! I haven't seen the cat again and I definitely miss her.

I also cooked two meals. Some baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, beets, and salmon - and a dish of leftovers: tortellini, a spinach burger, and some cut up tomatoes with feta cheese.

I'm looking into the "flylady system" for keeping up with the household. It's basically a system built upon routines (and I love routines). I'm hoping it will help to keep things tidy and clean before things have a chance to build up.

I also wrote down what I have to do for work in the upcoming weeks and it doesn't seem too bad. That's what I'm hoping, at least. It just seems a lot to do therapy as well. Last week really shook me. I feel quite inclined to cancel tomorrow, because I don't know if I can handle more of that. I'm still struggling with last week. It felt so unexpected, so raw and heavy. If I could feel it and then recover the next day, it would be a different story. It drags and it seems to chip away at my physical health. Too Much. It makes me feel hopeLESS and not hopeFUL. Alas, I'm probably just scared.

[princessisfinethx]

Invisible Man x Reader pt. 2

Watching him eat was… disturbing. He chewed the rice and potatoes you made at a normal pace and you watched it become mush by his invisible teeth. You then watched as he swallowed, the mush traveling down his throat, down his chest and into what you assumed was his stomach. He took a sip of water and you watched his pause as he swallowed. “How fascinating that food and water still appear while inside me.”

You nodded. “Indeed however it’s not a pleasant sight to behold.” You wrote down in your journal the results of eating. “Perhaps it will disappear later on?” You glanced down at his pants. He didn’t need to wear a shirt but you both agreed he should wear pants for the time being. 

“Maybe. When it's digested, it may disappear.” He spoke between bites, only eating half the plate before he placed it down on the table. You nod and check the time, noting you should check in maybe three hours or so. You scribble in your journal and look back up at him. He was standing before you. You frowned at being able to see his lunch so close up. “Now I need you to hit me, preferably on my arm.”

“I can’t see your arm Griffin.” You sit up straight. “And why do I need to hit you?”

“To see how bruising affects invisibility.” He grabbed your hand and placed it on his forearm. “Hit here. As hard as you can.” You nodded, setting your notebook and pencil down. You bring your fist back and slam down on his arm. You look up after doing so. “Is that really the hardest you can hit?” His voice was soft, between real concern and sarcasm. If he had been visible, you think he might even have been holding back a smiling. 

“Well I haven’t exactly been trained in hand to hand combat.” You sigh. “Was that not enough?”

“No that wasn’t enough at all. Here.” A small stool floats up, you grab it and frown deeply. “Use the leg-end of the stool. Hit me here.” He guides your hand again and you nod. 

“I understand this is for science but this seems very um,” You glance at the stool in your hand, trying to find the words. “This seems violent Griffin.”

“Oh please, worse has happened because of science. It’s not like we’re killing anyone. Now, hit my arm as hard as you can.” He let go of your hand and you nodded, eyeing the empty spot where you knew his arm was. You lifted the end of the stool and slammed down, feeling it come into contact with his arm. He hissed after the strike. “Perfect, now we have to wait for that to bruise.” He took the stool from you, turning it around in his grip before placing it on the floor. “Now onto our next test, I don’t believe we need to make any incisions.” He lifts his hand that he had cut yesterday.

You can only barely see some scarring but one that would heal within the next week. You nod and pick up your book. “Should I take a blood sample anyway?” You asked without looking up.

“Hmm, yes. It would let us see how needle insertion would appear, and give me blood to study to better create an antidote.” He walked away with you only hearing the sound of his bare feet across the stone tiles. When he comes back, he hands you a syringe and gauze wrap. You watch as the pair of pants sits down on the stool in front of you. You hold your hand out and Griffin pushes his arm into your grip. 

You press on his arm, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. “You may have to find your own vein and point it out to me.” You feel his free hand brush past yours. It takes a minute, but he pulls your hand to his arm, pressing where to puncture. 

“There, right where your fingertip is.” He mumbles and you didn’t realize how close his face was. You bite the inside of your lip but continue with the syringe. When you take a blood sample, you notice you can see some of the vein from where you took blood. Only a small trail of it became red. You pulled enough blood and set the syringe down then cleaned the small wound. You wrap the gauze enough to keep him from bleeding out. 

“There.” You smile. “Nothing violent.”

“Unless you were faintish at the sight of blood.” He mumbled. “Good thing you aren’t.” You smile a little proudly, not sure if he saw it. You then pick up your notebook and continue scribbling. After that, you place it down and look around the room. The floating pair of pants was placing the now vile of blood into a cabinet.

“You’ll have to do a urine sample as well, however I don’t believe the invisibility affects your digestive tract. Or, at least not urinating.” You pause. A thought crosses your mind. You frown at such a suggestive thought. What about when he…

“I’ll do a urine sample on my own time when I need to.” His voice was monotone from across the desk. “I will let you know the results once I do. No need to worry I won’t make you handle any of that.”

You smile, a little relieved. “Thank goodness for that.” You look down and frown. Should you bring it up? It is for science after all. How often does he even- Stop. You felt your face heating up. “Griffin, do you think you should…also conduct a-”

“Conduct a semen test?” He had finished your sentence and you cleared your throat. You could feel him staring but you knew if you looked up, well you wouldn’t see it. “Yes I also had thoughts about that.” He coughs lightly. “Like I said before I will handle that on my own time.” 

The room became silent. You stood and took the half empty plate of food to the kitchen. You sigh but can’t make the red from your face go away. After cleaning the dish as well as a few others, you dry your hands and walk to the lab room. Then you heard a knock at his front door. You saw the pants that Griffin wore stand up. You then curse lightly and run to the changing board. You quickly take off the shirt and pants, hurrying into your dress. “Who’s at the door?” Griffin spoke low enough for you to hear from behind the board. The sounds of more clothes rustling came from behind the wall, guessing he was also putting on more clothes.

“I don’t know, let me dress back into my daily attire and-” There were four more knocks on the front door. 

“Hurry up then!” You heard his footsteps as he walked away. You sighed and finished getting back into your dress, grabbed a broom and walked to the front door. 

You crack the door open and smile softly. “Hello, this is the Griffin Residence-” Your smile faded slightly. At the door was your fiance, a tight smile on his face. 

“Ah darling dearest, so this is where you work.” He pushes the door open and pushes past you. “Housekeeping another man’s home?” He was looking around at the walls and ceiling, eying the staircase then looking back at you. “Do you clean his home when he’s here? And why do you keep it so dark in here?”

You frown, setting your broom down. “How nice of you to show unexpected and invite yourself in, Jonathan. If Gr-… Mr. Griffin finds you here without his permission he’ll have me fired! Or worse he’ll perhaps call on the police!” He ignored your warning and walked towards the lab room. You grabbed his arm. “You are trespassing on another gentleman's property!”

His eyes shot down at your hand and your face flushed. You let go and looked down. "How dare you, grabbing me as if I were a child!" He stepped closer to you and you stepped away. 

"Jonathan please this is no place to…fuss. I work here." You kept your eyes down, both hands gripping the broom. 

"Ah, yes, use that line again. That poor excuse." He had his hands on his hips now, reaching up to wipe his nose. "I work all day, stressed as ever and I come home to find an empty home, no food on the stove, the fire place dead and cold. Don't you understand how miserable I feel?" You nod. "Don't-" He grabbed your shoulders and pinned you against the wall, making you look him in the eyes. "Look at me! And don't lie again because you, do not understand. If you wanted to be a good wife to me, you'd be home right now, running my bath." He let go and scoffed. "Instead you're here…cleaning after a mad man…What was his name again hm?"

And a voice from the top of the stairs called out. "I should ask you the same." Steps slowly coming down the stairs. He stops only when he's in view. "You intrude on my housekeeper, insult her and lay your hands on her?" Griffin was wearing wrappings around his face, he was in a dress shirt now, more appropriate pants on and shoes as well. Hair of some kind sticks out the wrappings on his head and upon his face was a pair of sunglasses, sitting atop a strange looking nose. 

Jonathan chuckles. "She is my wife."

"Even more the reason you should keep your hands off her in such ways." He walks down the stairs, getting uncomfortably close to your fiance. You could see him become tense as he eyed the wrappings and such. "Now then. Shall I call upon the police for breaking into my home?"

"No…no sir." Jonathan steps back and glances at you. He seemed to remember why he was here and straightened his back. "I was making sure my wife was safe is all. And that she gets home on time."

"I will assure your fiance gets home in time." Griffin never looked away from him. This seemed to trouble Jonathan even more. He nodded. 

"Very well. My apologies for disrupting her duties." He looked at you, "No later than 7. Goodbye." Not even daring to kiss you or hug you, as long as Griffin stood there, he turned on his heels opened the door and walked briskly into the cool evening. 

After the door closed, Griffin made a sound of bitter disgust. "How could a man be so crude and miserable towards you? He must-" He turned to you and hushed. You were holding back a sob, covering your face with one hand while the other remained holding the broom. He reached out and took the broom from you. "Don't cry now, he's gone."

You nod but keep your eyes closed, hiccuping into your elbow. "I never meant for you to see. He doesn't…always, hurt me." You look at him and suddenly laughed, coverying your mouth and nose again. "What in God's name are you wearing Griffin?" When he scoffed you laughed again. This caught him off guard but, at least you weren't crying. 

"Its a disguise. Before the invisibility I would just cover myself if I had to go out. Not always but sometimes." He pulls off the fake nose. "It worked did it not? Am I not a genius? A mad man as that blundering poltroon stated." He pulls half of the wrapping off, setting the glasses to the side. It was quiet for a moment until he spoke again. "Do you wish to go home?"

You looked up at him, at the nothing that sat upon dressed shoulders. What your fiance said had you in knots. It was a wife's duty to serve her husband, that much was true. However, you weren't his wife yet. He couldn't call you property, right? You shook your head, then shrugged. "Well I cannot just, not return home."

"And what will be waiting for you hm? His psycological abuse, next his physical abuse?" You wipe your eyes again. "No, I'll not have it. Stay here tonight. I have two extra rooms that haven't been touched in years." He was already walking away and you were quick to follow.  

"Griffin if I stay he'll be worried."

"Let him be. Perhaps he'll find himself drunk or asleep instead." His arm waved a bit and he walks into a spare room. "Here. You'll sleep here tonight." He looks to you and you look up at him. You cross your arms with a look he's never seen you give. It was almost a scolding look.

"Griffin. I don't want him to be angry with you. Or even call the police. What if…" You became distressed. "What if he breaks in and becomes violent or, or accuses me of affairs?"

"Let him believe what he wants. I am doubtful the fool is even loyal…" He quieted himself as he watched you look away. "He will not break in. He won't lay a finger on you. Not while I'm here in this house. Understood?" You gave a small nod. "Go wash yourself up, I will fetch you nightclothes." He turned away and you grabbed his shirt, making him pause. 

"You're sure you will allow me to sleep here tonight?" Your eyes searched for nothing, but Griffin couldn't look away. "If I cause you trouble, I won't bother you with my presence. You have the say so." 

"You're very right." He took your hand, placing his other invisible hand over yours. "I do have the say so, and I stand by my word."

[shivunin]

The Heart Grown Fonder

A single letter folded into the cover of a book on Ferelden tax law in Vigil’s Keep: 

My dear Warden, queen of my heart, rarest and most beautiful of women, 

I trust this letter will find you, because I will have hidden it in a crate of supplies bound for your Vigil’s Keep. If someone else is reading this, I will retrieve it from you soon enough and you will not like the manner I use to do so. 

Mi vida, life is dull and grey without you by my side in Antiva. Fighting is tragically bereft of people shouting things like “desperation is an ugly perfume.” Such things always gave me something to ponder while we cut down our foes, and in their absence I find combat less than stimulating. What does that mean, by the way? And why did you say it so often? This is not a criticism, you understand; if you were to appear at my side tomorrow and say such things again, perhaps while eviscerating someone twice your size, I would be delighted beyond words. 

Can you believe that the Crows have not given up on me after all that? Such a shame, when you cannot trust a man at his word anymore. I have dispatched perhaps half of those who continue to pursue. If matters remain on track, I should be able to stroll back over to your side of the sea sometime in the next few months. 

Stay strong, my steel; I know that you are simply wilting without my tender care to nourish you. Please, permit me a moment to remind you of what I might do if I were there with you now: 

First, I would unbind your hair and loosen it over my fingers. I am certain it has grown even longer in my absence, and you know how I enjoy feeling it trail along my skin. Then, I would kiss you as you deserve—slowly and with feeling, for as long as you can stand it without—

The message continues at some length, ending several pages later:

It is my wish that my words will offer some stimulation until I may return to your side once more. Take heart, mi vida, my steel; you are always in my thoughts even though you are not in my arms. 

Trust that we will see each other soon. 

—Your Zevran

A series of letters bound together with a dark blue ribbon:

Zevran,

Did you read a naughty broadsheet and decide to stuff all the endearments you could manage into one letter? Words don’t warm my bed, Zev. 

I’m fine. Everything here is fine. 

Take care of yourself. Let me know when you’re planning to come back. I’ll be here.

Ser Grr misses you.

—Arianwen

Zev, 

Scratch the last letter, if you get yourself killed, I’m stuffing Justice in your body and killing you again. Consider it a threat and a promise.

—Wen

Zevran, 

I’m told that these are meant to be longer. I’ll try that this time. 

Justice says that the letters Kristoff received from his wife had descriptions of her day and hopes for the future. I don’t know what that means. I spent most of the day trying to vet candidates for the Calling. It’s not the Blight anymore; it’s important that the people we choose are able to stick it out and hold their own. The Wardens must have a stronghold in Ferelden or what happened to us will happen again, with no guarantee of success next time. 

So—that’s just about every day now. The rest varies, I suppose. Mostly annoying administrative nonsense. Nobles love their paperwork, it turns out. You don’t want to hear about that.

I’ve made friends with the chef. You were right: it’s important to know the person who is most likely to poison your food. She’s nice. Made it out of Highever before Howe destroyed it, which is good for her and us. Makes a damn good stew. Reminds me of the days on the road when we all had to tolerate each other’s cooking. I haven’t gotten any better at it, for the record, but I can peel a potato very quickly now, when called upon. 

Speaking of friends, Isabela stopped by on her way across the sea yesterday. I understand she came to Amaranthine to meet a smuggler contact, but unfortunately I already killed them. Anyway—it was nice to have dinner and catch up. We talked about you. Good things, not that you’d think otherwise.

I meant to say earlier—Justice doesn’t talk about Kristoff much, but he told me a little about what his life was like. Being a Warden and married and all, I mean. It sounded nice. Except for the part where he’s dead, I mean. That’s…not great. I’m glad I didn’t know him before everything else. It’s easier that way. 

Anyway. I hope this was better. I still don’t get the point of these. Why not just wait until you come back to talk about all this? 

You’d better come back. 

Not now, I mean. Eventually. When you’re ready. 

Whichever.

—Arianwen Tabris, Commander of the Grey, Hero of Ferel

Ignore all that. I’m getting too used to signing formal reports.

Zev, 

Did you know that ship captains can perform marriages? Isabela told me yesterday, but I thought she was joking. Nate agreed, but he could also just be fucking with me. I wouldn’t put it past him. I hesitate to ask, but do you know if this is true?

I think about that last trip back from Antiva very often. Maybe if I’d known Nevermind. I miss you. That’s it.

—Wen

Zevran, 

I tried to track down the messenger who took that letter before he could get on a boat, but he made it out of the country first. I’m told I am not allowed to go after him. 

So ignore all that instead. Just pretend you didn’t read it and I sent you a sketch of my chest or something.

—Arianwen

Zevran, 

If you’re getting these letters, please reply. I know I’m not very good at this, but I need to hear from you. 

Just—please.

—Arian Your Arianwen

And finally, tucked into a stack of neatly folded underthings in an armoire in Vigil’s Keep:

My Arianwen, 

If you find this before I find you, I owe you something special. If not—well, you will have me here, either way. 

I am only sorry it took so long. I am certain we will find a way to make up for the long absence.

—Zevran

P.S. Your sentries never even bothered to check the wall they stand on. You should correct this, or instruct your stoneworkers to make the bricks more difficult to climb. I would hate for someone less well-intentioned than I to take advantage.

(For @14daysdalovers day 9: Longing.)

[thessalian]

Thess vs More Adulting

Payday is always a happy day, but it's also a little more than that. I mean, it is for me, but I assume that other people do the same thing as I do - that thing being "prep for the month ahead". By which I mean grocery shopping. After all, a person has to eat. Which I have to keep fucking reminding myself because I've fallen back into some significantly disordered eating the last little while. So this month is all about trying to fix or at least mitigate that.

So here's the list and the plan for the month:

So many emergency calories, because I keep forgetting to put food into myself when I'm working and I get hangry and weird. So nuts, crisps, dried fruit, corn thins, cold cuts, some tinned peaches, and clementines.

Fixings for potato salad. Because nothing's easier than just scooping some potato salad out of the bowl in the fridge and stuffing it into one's face.

Things To Roast - a big ol' chunk of pork shoulder, a large chicken, and lamb breast (which was an accident; I wanted shoulder for lamb dopiaza but apparently they were out). That'll be roast dinners plus everything I can do with the leftovers - risotto, stir-fry, stuff like that.

On the subject of stir-fry, I found ho fun noodles when I was out picking up meds and stuff yesterday. I like those way better than the vermicelli rice noodles. I also got tater tots because they're a fairly recent addition to Sainsbury's frozen-food repertoire and I will single-handedly demonstrate that it's a worthwhile thing to keep around if I have to because I HAVE MISSED TATER TOTS SO MUCH.

Further additions for batch cooking, since I've got some meat still in the freezer that just needs little additions to make into multiple meals. Specifically passata and courgette for spaghetti bolognaise, and carrots for chicken stew.

Drinkables and treats. As well as my usual couple of bottles of cherries and berries squash, I treated myself to an eight-pack of Coke. Picked up some marshmallows for hot chocolate and to make Rice Krispie treats, and some chocolate chips for cookies. Also one small bag of gummy sweets and a big bag of prawn crackers, which are thankfully gluten-free.

The standards - eggs, butter, sugar, coffee, etc. I mean, the first three are largely for baking (though the sugar's as much for the coffee as the baking) and I have some plans for French toast, so it's at least partly treat, but never mind.

Of course, this led to a need for more adulting. Not only putting all the stuff away, but apparently my bag of sugar had a leak at the bottom and sugar kind of got all over the kitchen floor. But never mind, I had to hoover anyway. Did the rest of the flat while I was at it. I'd already started a load of laundry at that point (it's on the drying cycle now), and while I do need to clear out the fridge a little more, things are mostly uncer control. Aaaaaaaaaall the adulting.

Of course, at some point in the not too distant, I'm going to have to go and pick up the bits that were missing. Not too many things, but I still want them, so that'll be a thing. I think I'll wait until tomorrow, though. Much as I hate going to the supermarket on a Sunday, Saturdays are worse unless I'm going late, and I really don't want to leave the house today. Still feeling the whole mess of this week, including the idiotic attempt to walk to the corner shop without my cane the other day.

(The shrubbery still has my cane, but I have a new one now - it's actually better than the old one, so that's a good thing.)

One last ... well, silver lining nice thing. My stepfather called yesterday - while I was working, but he apologised for disturbing me. He also apologised that the other flat isn't going to be ready for habitation by the end of this month the way he said it would be. I was honestly fine with that for two reasons: 1) I'd already figured that out because he promised he'd give me a goodly amount of notice so I could book time off, and 2) Scruffman's off in Greece for two weeks as of Monday and I couldn't have taken the time off anyway. It's already going to be an absolute fucking mess at the office without him - however cursory his attempts to ride herd on the lazier of the lazy fuckers in the office have been, it's better than nothing, which is what they'll have for the next two weeks.

Yeah, yesterday was a complete joke because of ... well, the usual. Friday was "New Girl sits on reports from Thursday morning until Friday afternoon, then dumps them back into the queue, and also completely ignores the ten-minute monstrosity by one of The Annoyances (who specifically creates a truly epic word salad every time she speaks) for the entire day". I mean, everyone else ignored the ten-minute word salad too, but I felt I had every right to because I not only took everyone else's long ridiculous reports that day, but also picked up the ones that New Girl had been sitting on all day because she picked them up but refused to actually type them. So I figure the "Leave the long ones for [Thess] to do" is going to be the rule for the next two weeks from these lazy fuckers.

But I have a fridge full of food, plans for glorious dinners, and a weekend of TTRPGs. It can't be all bad if I've got that.

[autumnalarchives]

Morning Routine, a short story (694 words) about the average morning routine of the Magnolia Household!

Toyhouse Link | Under the cut is the story if you don't want to use toyhouse to view it!

Ghost mumbles softly, rubbing their eyes before opening them slowly. They glance at the clock before softly groaning.

“Trotro,” They yawn, poking the fellow Starclovian in the side, “Time to get up.”

Astro groans. “No.” They huff, pulling Ghost closer and nuzzling their head. “I wanna sleep in.”

Ghost lays there for one moment before pushing themself away. “It's your turn to feed the chickens and I gotta feed the Potato twins.” They say, removing Astro's paws from their shoulders and sitting up. The aforementioned “Potato Twins” were already sitting up in their cage, eyes sparkling with excitement as they waited for Ghost to get their food.

“Ughhh. Fine.” Astro grumbles, sitting up and rubbing their eyes. They stretch as Ghost hops off the bed. Astro gets up themself, looking at the bed and sighing before heading out the door behind the other Starclovian.

The two of them walk down the stairs, Astro still trying to mentally wake up and Ghost already rambling, mainly about what they thought they should feed their ferrets. Astro wasn't particularly processing any of it, but still nodded along.

“-aaaand I think I'll put a hard-boiled egg in there, too! They haven't had one in awhile and I think they deserve it.” Ghost finishes right before they enter the kitchen, tail swishing. “Oh, morning!”

“Morning!” Charlie chimes, already at the counter and fixing breakfast. “I'm making apple pancakes because they were about to go bad. There's some already done!” They point at the plate of already finished pancakes, smiling.

“Thanks, Chars!” Ghost smiles, grabbing a plate, putting two pancakes on it, and then sitting down. Astro does the same, sitting next to them. “Is Blix not up yet?”

“Right here. Morning.” Blix yawns, walking in and sitting down. Charlie picks up another plate, puts a pancake on it, and then sits it in front of Blix. They smile in turn, thanking them.

After Charlie finishes cooking, they sit down with the others. The four of them eat in comfortable silence, just like always. Astro is the one to break the silence once they finish.

“Seedling coming over today?” They ask, flicking their tail. The other three exchange a glance.

“Iiiii…don't think so? Maybe? I don't think they said anything about coming by today.” Blix replies. Ghost shrugs.

“Alrighty.” Astro stands up, stretching once again. “I'm gonna go feed the chickens, then.”

“Oh, yeah! I need to feed my ferrets.” Ghost adds, also standing up, before pausing. “...I forgot to boil an egg.”

“Boil it now and give it to them later, maybe?” Charlie suggests, Ghost nodding and grabbing a pot. Astro walks out of the kitchen toward the back door.

They slide the door open, grimacing at the rain. “Guess there'll be worms for the chickens.” They mumble, moving one of their wings to be angled above their head. They head to the shed, opening the door.

“Thank the deities for Blix making the feed mix yesterday…” They smile, grabbing the bucket and moving to the chicken coop. “Wake up, time for breakfast!”

They chuckle as the five chickens swarm their feet, clucking as they watch Astro fill up the several feeders in the coop. With some more clucking, they turn to their feeders and start chowing down.

Astro watches them for a moment before exiting the coop and moves over to the water pump. They fill up the bucket and go back to the coop, filling up the water dishes.

“Enjoy your breakfast.” They say, leaving the coop a final time. They put the bucket up and go back to the house.

“Astro, you're soaked!” Charlie huffs as Astro steps in and closes the door.

“Not really–”

“Go take a shower!”

Astro rolls their eyes at the command, but nods anyway. Charlie huffs again, turning toward Blix, a boardgame laid out across the living room table with the two sitting at either side.

After Astro takes their shower, they come back out to see Ghost on the couch, watching Blix and Charlie play their game. Ghost smiles and waves at Astro who smiles back, moving over to sit next to them to also watch the two play.

[lucysweatslove]

(Tw ED related stuff under the readmore, this time talking about purging too)

(Don’t worry I’m safe/fine and didn’t engage in any disordered behavior)

So y’all know how I went on a hike yesterday and saw beautiful foresty sights?

Well idk how many calories I actually burned because fuck that, but I was out for a while, about 2.5 hours of actual moving but that involves very slow going on snowy patches. I spent maybe half an hour total with taking pics or stopping for a snack midway, some of that time getting low underneath trees to get closer to the creek (which was very active!).

Anyway, I was SUPER HUNGRY yesterday which is totally fine because 2.5 hours of activity requires fuel.

But today I’ve been having like a really hard time feeling full and satisfied, which is probably also related to hiking. Doubly annoying is that my body doesn’t want protein. Like I had a protein heavy breakfast but needed to pair it with potatoes (which, like carrots, are absolutely not a vegetable 😉) and toast because alone the idea of eggs and a vegan sausage like. I felt nauseated thinking about it.

Now I believe my body is trying to replenish its glycogen and is like “feed me carbs so I can continue to take you on hikes through knee deep snow!” which is fine but I don’t make carb heavy meals. Like they just aren’t in my repertoire of things to cook. And the few I do make that are carb heavy are also still protein heavy- like a turkey bagel sandwich is carb heavy because carbs in bagel, but I also put goat cheese (maybe with avo) and deli turkey on it and have vegetables and dip which I like with yogurt. Even my pasta is more protein heavy because I use lentil pasta (I honestly love the taste). Anyway most of the meals I know how to make and can do without much executive planning will have 25-35g protein in it.

And my body today is just not wanting it. I try, and the moment meat is being cooked, or cooked meat is being prepared, or I even smell the yogurt or milk, I literally feel so sick.

I could just eat carby things alone but something about it ALSO felt wrong- like just a bagel? Boring. Bagel with jam? Also boring. Also, snacky. I couldn’t bring myself to actually make a meal- even like, cutting up fruit I just couldn’t do. It didn’t make any sense to me. So after breakfast I finished an older protein bar I had forgotten about from last week, and then just didn’t eat.

Husband made (quite large) garlic knots tonight to use up old pizza dough. THIS smelled divine. I ate one- still hungry. Second- still hungry. Third- why tf am I still hungry? He only made 6, 3 for me and 3 for him, so I couldn’t have another one. So I was rummaging through the cabinets and remembered all the candy and treats we got on Sunday. I still had some of those, so I finished off the licorice and hello panda cookies (maybe 1-1.5 “recommended servings” left for each), have a couple pieces of fruit mochi, even have some coffee candies and a lychee gummy because they sounded super good. I was sipping water throughout too, as I do throughout the day.

But nope, still hungry. And now I’m craving something salty. Like great I satisfied my need for carbs, but my body is still hungry and is now wanting salt. So I have a couple handfuls of cashews. Keep in mind this is all spread out around 3.5 hours. It’s not all at once. I’m giving myself time to eat, to get it in my body, have my hormones adjust to the new fuel, etc.

Finally, after the cashews, I feel ACTUALLY satisfied and full. Not sick full but like, appropriate full. The full that means I won’t be hungry at an inappropriate time but I’m not over full. No more cravings. Like “move on with your life” full.

But what does my brain decide to do with this? It’s like I’m 19 or 20 again and my brain is saying “nope we can’t feel full, hunger is good, get rid of it.” (Note: I primarily exercise purged, so this little voice isn’t just like throw it up or abuse laxatives, which I also have done, but also “count up all the calories, try to estimate, and then go to the gym and burn it all off, you haven’t gone since Tuesday!”)

It’s just this small little instinctual urge which is likely coming up because stress and new scholastic endeavors and being forced to have people perceive me. Just got me in that old headspace again because of situational similarities.

Also: the fact that it was cashews that did it at the very end is killing me. Like not even after the mochi or the lychee gummy. Something with micronutrients and very very much needed salt because I DO get dizzy without it. Something traditionally considered “healthy.” THAT is what turned ED brain on. It’s literally about how full or empty I feel and how many calories I believe I’ve eaten vs burned in a day. Doesn’t matter where it’s from. Oats or chocolate or molasses or fucking carrots or nuts.

I’m just annoyed that even this far into/past recovery, my brain still goes back ten years when my body literally just feels NORMAL. Ten years into recovery and my brain is STILL triggered sometimes just by *actually feeling fully and completely satisfied.*

Anyway: I’m totally safe, not going to do anything, it was just like this little whisper of old times which I can easily tell to stfu now, but these moments are so rare I forget they exist and when they come back, it’s just a reminder that I will likely always have them trying to peak through stressful times.

[smallandsundry]

What are some of your favorite recipes

right now my favorite recipe to make is a roast chicken with mashed potatoes, because of how you can use the leftovers in so many ways. everyone has a roast chicken recipe, this is just how i've evolved into making this as a low effort dish

you will need a whole chicken, 2 lemons, 2 heads of garlic, 1 cup of olive oil or a neutral oil of some kind, or 2 sticks of butter.

preheat your oven to 425f or 220c

cut the lemons and the garlic heads in half, put three of each half cut side down into an oven safe pot that only just fits your chicken (so like, it's fine if the chicken is barely squished in and also if there's a little room around but the pot shouldn't be huge cos then all the oil spreads out and the garlic will burn).

salt the chicken cavity and shove the leftover half lemon and half head of garlic inside (here you can also add rosemary or thyme or whatever you like inside, if you have it, but i usually do not). pat the chicken dry w paper towels, salt liberally (and pepper, if you want), nestle it in between or on top of the lemons and garlic in your pot breast side up. pour a cup of olive oil over it, sort of trying to coat as much as possible but like, it does not have to be precise. this is gonna be part of your sauce and also make sure your garlic doesn't burn.

roast the chicken for at least 45 mins, at 45 mins i'd check for internal temp, it should be 175f or 80c, if you don't have a thermometer shove a knife into where the leg meets the body of the chicken and see if the juices run clear. anyway, i have to check a few times usually, because i never get the same sized chicken and my oven isn't great. while it's roasting i usually make mashed potatoes. usually i end up roasting for an hour to an hour and twenty but it really varies.

when it's done take the pot out, take the chicken out of a pot and put it onto a plate or a cutting board or whatever you wanna serve it off of, and fold a large sheet of tin foil over it like a tent. leave it alone for 15 mins, it is taking a nap.

so you could stop now but i would make a gravy if i were you. so see the awesome bits in the pan, you're gonna take a spoon and smoosh the leftover juices out of what should be three barely together half lemons, then fish the lemons skins out and any intact garlic heads too. pour the rest through a sieve into a blender or the cup of an immersion blender, smooshing a little as you go, and add all the garlic cloves that were in the pan or still in the garlic heads (not the inside the chicken ones tho) into the blender too (they do not have to go through the sieve). like, all of them. blend until smooth. sometimes there aren't enough chicken drippings and it's not runny enough, you can just add some butter.

your chicken should be ready, you should eat the crispy skin asap.

if you have leftovers you can make little chicken pot pie / shepherd's pie hybrids, which is what i did yesterday.

i use the chicken carcass for soup.

(mashed potatoes i would keep simple, peel your potatoes, low boil in salty water until cooked, smash with salt and butter until desired consistency, maybe add a little milk to thin out)

[kabillieu]

Broken record, but this week has been very hard. Yesterday I was on the go from the moment I woke up until 9am. I know this is normal for some people, but it's not normal for me. And usually I build in breaks so I can decompress throughout the day. Like right now, this is a break. Anyway, there's a giant chance today and tomorrow will be even worse because Dominic is flying again, and it's likely that his plane will be diverted to Arizona to avoid bad weather here. This means that I'll be on my own tonight and all day tomorrow. My big kid doesn't have school, so he'll have to come with me to work, and I'll have to drop my baby off at daycare first, which will double my commute time. So, instead of it taking an hour to drive to work, I'll have to budget two hours.

I also have a parent teacher conference at 3:30 today, which cuts off my working day, and I have a lot to do, so much.

I have never wanted this level of busyness. It's a big reason why I decided not to have another kid. But then so many crazy, big, unexpected things happened to me. I'm glad this new baby is here. He makes my life better. And this is a phase and a blip in many ways. Babies grow up, and Dominic does not usually fly. That's not his primary job anymore.

I'm going to survive this week. Just like I survived last week. In the meantime, for breakfast I ate leftover black beans and sweet potatoes heated up with cheese, salsa verde, sour cream, and an egg fried over easy. Love that for me. I'm going to do the last of this awful course design, try not to think too much about everything that's being left undone, and just get through this day and then get through tomorrow too.

[fancykraken]

Preface: I didn't intend to write so much, but I guess I really needed to vent and get my feelings out. 🤣

I hate landlords so much. I wish I could just have one that was a decent person and not either abusive, some kind of bully, blackmailing or not broken tenant laws on one or multiple occasions.

Major friction between my current landlord and us (as well as some other tenants but that's their own situation) has me really, really scared and I'm freaking out because our lease is up again in August. I'm so worried because the reason my mum and I have not moved already is because of the rent. The rent we pay is based on rates that were average 10 years ago even with my landlord raising our rent each year when we renew our lease. Rent has basically tripled in the last 10 years all over the city and surrounding cities. A two-bedroom suite or apartment is now $3k a month or more on average. I can't afford that and the thought of going back to where my mum and were 10+ years ago of homelessness, welfare, food banks, and being at the complete mercy of abusive people because we had zero choice is sending me to a really bad place mentally.

My current landlord had the huge evergreen tree next to the house we rent our suite in "trimmed". And by "trimmed" I mean she had nearly every branch taken off that wasn't below 25 feet. Our privacy from the apartment buildings next to us is gone, our shade is gone, and since there are no branches there's nowhere to hang our two bird feeders anymore which has really upset my mum. Our upstairs neighbours are furious about all this as well so at least it's just not us.

But one of the biggest things that is bugging me happened yesterday. It's relatively small potatoes, but there was this one little stub left on the tree low enough to hang the suet cake feeder for the birds so that's what my mum did. She loves the woodpeckers, starlings, and all the birds that come by and eat from it. My landlord was by with her maintenance person to help with outside repairs while my mum was out (I work from home so I was busy working and didn't see this happen). She took down the suet cake feeder and had the maintenance guy cut off the stub on the tree so my mum couldn't hang it back up again.

It's upset my mum a lot and me as well. It just feels so invasive and being bullied.

I've talked to my therapist about some of this last week and have resources I can check out, but I just feel like I have nowhere to turn and generally feel trapped because I live in a city that is so astronomically expensive that even working full time doesn't get me anywhere. And I have my mum to take care of but that's a whole other can of worms that I just cannot think about right now.

Anyway, landlords suck.

[foxi-gi]

"Are ya cold Lad?"

.

.

Idk why I made this but I hope you like it!

(Its really old)

For everyone who found their way here via a link:

[Tw: Includes swearing and hints at suicide]

The winds are cold, and in the morning, it howls past the walls of the lighthouse, with small droplets of salt water and rain pitter pattering against the fogged up windows of my kitchen.

Once again, I drink my tea, black with a swig of Rum in it to spice things up... for the 50th time in a row.

It wasn't tastes. It wasn't nice, but I had run out of sugar a while ago. And getting any now was pointless and, quite frankly, a waste of time I didn't have.

I finished my coffee, ate a tuna sandwich, and put on the clothes left scattered around the house where I hadn't put them, making my way down town to buy some ingredients for my stew. Of course, with ham, potatoes, and other veggies. Maybe some melted cheese to give it a bit of extra taste.

This stew had been a special meal... Had. Instead, it had become a chore, and even though I dragged myself to my car all the same and the motor once again needed exactly 3 turns of the key to start, it never became easier.

The drive was exactly 20 minutes. And on the way, I barely managed to swerve aside to not hit an animal on the road. I knew it was there, but for some reason, i was always surprised by it notherless.

Tired eyes on the surrounding areas, as I parked the old and rusty truck in front of a convenience store.

Or rather in inconvenience store, as one door always broke right as I enter.

I grab the items I want, smacking the exact amount of money needed on the counter, grumbling about how I won't need a receipt, before leaving the store, ignoring the group of women who had been trying to reach out to me every single day.

"No. I'm not interested in talking to yer scrummy arse." I yell back as the women begin to hiss back insults, but I drive off before they can continue.

It was always a small town, and a few years ago, I would have actually cared about their opinion... but now I don't anymore. It didn't matter if I was polite or impolite anyway... They wouldn't remember.

During the noon, I cut the veggies, blending some after a brief cooking with the molten cheese before letting it simmer with the meat and slowly adding different ingredients and broths to the stew. In the late noon, I go outside, with the stew on low,staring at the Sea solemnly.

"I see a storm comin." I'd say, even though my behaviour today refuses me any person to tell this to. And I'll continue watching the sea for around an hour more. Not moving. Not caring about the cold. It's not like it mattered much...

After which, I'd hurry inside, believing my stew to be overcooked, or burning, or whatever I thought it did.

It didn't, though. It was perfect. As always. Having a meal every single day caused you to do that, even unintentionally sometimes.

I sit back and eat my stew. Or I just stare at it. It's either of the two.

Today was supposed to be my birthday.

Today was supposed to be a feast for my friends, who never showed up. And yesterday was supposed to be my birthday as well. And the day before that. But no matter who I talked to that day, no matter what I did, in no version, anyone showed up.

It never mattered.

My spoon clattered against the bowl and I stare at it tiredly.

I couldn't do this anymore. I just can't take it anymore. Every day..

I look over at the boat rope, laying curled up on the Chair I had left it months ago, before this all started...

Maybe trying it again would work... maybe I'd be free.

[sleepy-achilles]

Here's something I've been working on.

It is still rough.

I used to pick up my kids after school back in the day. It was always interesting to see the mom squad eye up parents they didn't know. Some of the comments were pretty catty and down right nasty.

How would they react if the Undertaker (with a motorcycle) showed up to pick up Cassidy from school.

I'm picturing the Undertaker in his posters for The 1 deadman show. Damn, he is hot in that poster!

They heard the motorcycle long before they saw it. A sleek black Harley-Davison motorcycle pulled into the last available spot in front of WestWood Elementary School. The man was wearing black biker boots, black jeans, and a cut-off leather vest that showed off his heavily tattooed arms. He had a black goatee, and his eyes were hidden by a pair of Oakley sunglasses. The man ignored the curious looks as he leaned up against the fence, clearly waiting for someone. (Longer)

I wonder who that is," Lauren Carson

muttered in a low voice to a select group of moms who picked up their children everyday. (Clearer)

"Never seen him before," Tina Evans said with a frown, tapping her phone thoughtfully. "Anyone recognize him?"

"Oh I would remember him if he picked up his kid from school," Amy Scott purred, eyeing the man like he was a piece of meat. " He is fucking hot." I wouldn't mind getting a taste of that."

"Down girl," Dana Moore said with a laugh while several women rolled their eyes. Ever since Amy got divorced, she was on the prowl for a man.

" Well, I think motorcycles are extremely dangerous," Brittany Maynard said in a loud voice that was meant to be heard, with a toss of her salon perfect hair. "I would never allow Kevin to have one."

"You don't let Kevin do anything anyways," Lauren said in a low voice to Mary who stifled a laugh. It was a well known fact that Kevin was ruled by his wife.

I'm sorry it took me so long. I obviously saw this yesterday but I was working a wedding in the country with the phone service of a potato.

2pm to 1am btw. Hated it.

I'll put my opinion on part two because we'll that just makes sense to me.

[livingof-love]

Just took a nice, hot shower and CUT THE BACK OF MY THIGH SHAVING 😣🥺 I haven't shaved in a couple weeks and this would happen when I try to be sexy and smooth. Of course I took a risk with a semi-dull razor, too 😬 N00B.

Anyways, the meatloaf I made will be done before long. I made glazed carrots and au gratin potatoes for with it and mama is hungry 🤘🏽

Excited to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening with my beaux. Sore as fuck from babysitting yesterday and rocking that baby all damn night. But I get rubs soon 💓 how are y'all this Saturday evening??

[minecraftdemocracyexperiment]

MDE - 2nd Election

(Belated post, oops, tee-hee, anyway.)

Yesterday was our 2nd server leader election! The first election is somewhat of a mystery, since I wasn't there and somehow Creeper won in the Merlin VS Snackdude race. But, anyway, details of the event under the cut:

Originally, we had two candidates: King Krok and JIMBO. But, then Merlin made a surprise appearance and bid for leadership.

Merlin stood up and made their case for leadership first. He was met with much support from the audience, mostly comprised of his three minecraft wives (Vriska, Panda and Creeper). Merlin's campaign was based on the noble principles of being a surprise late arrival, getting redemption after being usurped by their wife (Creeper) in the previous election, and being funny.

After Merlin gave his speech, Jimbo was up.

Jimbo made a very passionate speech about law and order. Luckily, because Jimbo can only talk through text, here's an excerpt of his time on the stage:

(Jimbo 'fucking loves' potatoes.)

Jimbo's campaign centred on outlawing all crime and making the server draw up laws for him to enforce (for enrichment).

Following Jimbo, we had the tall-hat wearing crocodile legend himself: King Krok (also known as Spyder).

King Krok outlined his policies of: banning xylophones (and only xylophones) within 23 and a half metres of water, requiring all citizens have a pit, and holding games of connect four.

After these great speeches, the votes were held and Valkyrie read out who had won the election:

And the winner was...

👑🐊 King Krok! 🐊👑

He did a victory vertical death roll spin, then went about planning his Connect 4 build at the Soul King's Castle.

The build actually functions as Connect 4 in Minecraft, I'd show screenshots but they're kinda 'meh' + hmm, maybe join our discord to access the server and find out yourself 🤔?

That wasn't all, though!

Immediately following the election, a server wedding was held between Merlin, Vriska, Panda and Creeper. I'm not sure if this makes the four Merlin's double-wives, if they'd gotten a divorce immediately before the ceremony, or their marriage had not been officially recognised.

The wedding was officiated by our new leader, Krok, and the ceremony was attended by Valkyrie and Jimbo (who was the fish boy; that's like a flower girl only more smelly). Another wife of Merlin's, Astro, would join shortly afterwards and was also married, I think.

The Gock Family/The Cursed-Sans-Potatoes-Trucks Family. Just a raccoon feller and 3 out of... 6 (?) of his wives. This is a normal Minecraft server.