#anyways fuck isu

[acerola-tree]

anyways kinda glad i'm not as deep in the trenches with this sport anymore i could not live another yuzuru hanyu and nathan chen situation again piece and love on planet earth

[kavennnn]

end of ch 32 oh god oh god oh fuck

[teecupangel]

You ever play Tom Clancy's the division? I'm really wondering how (what's left of) the brotherhood would think of Manny Ortega and Aaron Keener. (Accidental president and leader of the rogue network respectively) Aaron IS signified by a hood and a gas mask after all.

I was planning to buy it for my father years ago but the clerk told me it was online only and our net wasn’t exactly the best during that time so I didn’t buy it. I think I tried it a bit later on when our net became faster but I didn’t get far XD

So, for this one, the Brotherhood would probably try to infiltrate Manhattan during that time. Since this is set around 2015 according to The Division wiki, the crossover will be set after Syndicate.

This means that we can’t use Shaun and Rebecca for this one because Rebecca was shot during the end of Syndicate and Shaun would probably not leave her (although we can push for the idea that Shaun took the mission because Rebecca told him to get some fresh air while she’s resting and healing.

Of course, the Division’s plot does span further so we can have Shaun and Rebecca appear later on but, for this one, we’ll have to use a different modern day Assassin for the plot. It could be Galina since she’s the most experienced modern day Assassin on the field that we see in the games. We can pull her away from the comics that would happen during that time and maybe even move the entire Juno resurrection plot point in Manhattan with Elijah still under Abstergo’s lock and key but, this time, the entire facility is stranded in Manhattan.

If you want to integrate it further, the Dollar Flu that started the entire thing was started in Manhattan because Amherst used to be an Abstergo employee who ‘quit’. To be more exact, he was supposed to be killed but he faked his own death. He knows about the Templars but he refused to join them so he was marked for death. The reason for creating and distributing the virus stayed the same but he now chose Manhattan because he knows that Abstergo is planning something there and he wants to give them a final ‘fuck you’ while going for his end goal.

Because of this Berg and Sigma team also infiltrates Manhattan to ‘rescue’ the stranded Abstergo personnel, ‘secure’ Elijah (codename: Roberts) and ‘purge’ the facility of everything.

Now, the Brotherhood would be a more distant ally with Ortega and Ortega believes them to be a foreign spec op team sent to check how fucked America is (considering the main Assassin is either Shaun or Galina, it wasn’t surprising that he mistook them for a foreign entity).

Keener though… well… they don’t necessary see eye to eye in many things but they do join in certain missions together when it proves to be the best course of action. Of course, Keener would say that he plans it that way from the very beginning because, unlike Manny, he does know what the Brotherhood is. Not personally, of course. But he does have a member of his team that was once an Assassin, Joseph Laurier who had been in Galina’s team during the operation.

[ofspvrta]

Me at Boobysoft, shaking them: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE KASSANDRA THE CLOSEST THING TO A DEMIGOD ASSASSIN'S CREED WILL EVER HAVE, GIVE HER THE HIGHEST CONCENTRATION OF ISU BLOOD OF ALL THE PROTAGS, AND NOT TELL US WHO HER BLOODLINE IS BEYOND HER PARENTS AND LEONIDAS?!

[feyarcher]

Rewatching VM programs and A) Dream a Little Dream in the IE is just the most perfect thing to have ever been skated and 2) lmao we don't even know if any of the current teams know what a close hold is because the isu has not required any decent dances in so long 😂😭

[thebleedingeffect]

Wish I knew how to draw cause I have this whole idea for a idea for an assassin's creed self insert-oc cause I like having fun and it's an super self indulgent idea- BUT I have NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO DRAW

[esamastation]

lil bit of AC x Temeraire

"Translation error," is Clay's verdict.

"Translation error," Desmond repeats dubiously, staring down at him.

"Yes."

"Uh-huh. And that means what, exactly?"

So many things that he doesn't understand, it turns out. Stuff like how Animus code works and how badly it was originally designed, Abstergo trying to derive from the First Civilisation's work and how it was bungled up. Add into the mix human DNA - Clay's - being translated into Animus simulation which was then translated into whatever the Grand Temple had going on for itself which was then translated yet again into the background processing of the universe, plus the delightfully unstable addition of stray thoughts and the fact that Desmond has slight Piece of Eden infection and apparently the placebo effect is actual fucking magic -

"What?" Desmond asks helplessly.

"Stalk it up as a glitch in the Matrix, times a thousand," Clay concludes. "And don't worry about it."

"Um. No, I don't think I can," Desmond says, emphatically, and motions at him. "Clay, you're a dragon."

Clay looks down at himself, at his sinuous body of pale gold and burnished bronze. He's not a very big dragon, about the size of a big dog maybe, but he's still very clearly a dragon. Wings and tail and talons and all.

Clay looks up at him, and his voice is sardonic. "Wow, your Eagle Vision must be levelling up, Desmond, your observational abilities are off the charts!"

Desmond folds his arms. "I'm also observing that there's something wrong with the Grand Temple," he says flatly.

Clay swings his long necked head around this way and that, taking in the ancient volcanic cave around them. "Looks the same to me."

"All our stuff is gone, Clay. And I seem to recall that part having collapsed. It looks pretty uncollapsed to me. Also, the barrier is up again," Desmond points at the glowing Isu-tech barrier between them and the device Desmond is pretty sure he just activated. "Are you seeing the barrier, Clay, the barrier I spent the last week's of my life opening?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Seventeen, you're not dead yet."

"Clay," Desmond says, even flatter.

The dragon blows out an acrid smelling breath. "Okay, fine, I did maybe attempt a little bit of time travel," he says defensively. "You would've too if you realised what the Grand Temple could really do!"

"Which is… time travel?"

"Pretty much anything that your little mind can come up with, actually."

Desmond gives him another one over and folds his arms. "Like turning you into a dragon."

"Manipulating probabilities is one hell of a thing," Clay agrees and nudges his side with his nose. Snout? "But the dragon bit is definitely a translation error. I was trying to recode myself into an Isu," he adds, very quickly under his breath. "Not a winged reptile with an upset stomach."

"You - what?"

Clay avoids looking him in the eye and huffs out an embarrassed breath. "Also you're not dead. You're welcome for not being dead," he says pointedly.

Desmond stares at him for a long moment before letting out a sigh and letting it go. "Thanks. You have an upset stomach?" he then asks.

"It kinda hurts, yeah," Clay murmurs, shifting his weight a little, and just then there's an audible gurgle from somewhere within him, his draconic belly rumbling.

Desmond lets his hands drop to his sides. "You're hungry?" he asks incredulously.

"I haven't eaten anything in almost a year, Desmond, have some sympathy."

"Yeah, well, you were dead," Desmond says, making a face, and then hesitates. "I should be dead."

"That's what Juno wanted to happen anyway," Clay agrees and unfurls his wings tentatively. "Again you're welcome."

"Right. You… saved me. And brought us back in time," Desmond says slowly and frowns  "When exactly are we?"

Clay spreads out his wings and shakes himself. "If I didn't mess up the calculations, maybe two hundred years back in time."

"Uh. Why two hundred years?"

"It's enough time to fast forward industrial revolution without breaking history too badly," Clay says almost flippantly and gives him a look. "And all your major ancestors have procreated and died and so if we mess up time, there's still a good chance you will be born."

Desmond blinks. "That's," he starts to say and then isn't entirely sure how to continue. It's not exactly comforting, not exactly worrisome. It's something in between with a little bit of existential horror thrown in. "Okay," he settles on saying, feebly. "And what are we going to do? Just cause an early industrial revolution?"

"That and some other things. I have some plans," Clay says, not quite modestly.

Desmond isn't exactly reassured by his tone. "And how does becoming a dragon feature in those plans?"

Clay hesitates and looks down at himself, shifting his weight on his taloned claws. "Well," he says and his stomach grumbles again. "I think it might change the first step. Get food, instead of find riches. Do you think we could get some food? I'm really hungry, Desmond. You know how to hunt, right?"

Desmond eyes him for a moment and then hums. "I know how to hunt, yeah," he says slowly and looks away, towards the entrance to the Temple. Or rather the exit from their point of view. "But, uh."

"What?"

"You know, we needed Minerva's Apple to get in here. The door was pretty well shut - and had been for tens of thousands of years." Desmond points out and nods at the sloping cave, leading away from them. "How do you suppose we're going to get out?" 

Clay stills and then tucks his wings back in. "Oh," he says.

"Yeah. Oh."

-

What if Travel Winds but with Clay and more crack?

[sombertide-0]

so i wrote a small thing to go with some art i made a bit ago! inspired by @teecupangel's "what if t-rex desmond" ask that i added my own twist to because i love paleontology lmao

here's the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57121900

and here's the art and some dino info if you just wanna see t-rex desmond lol

Important paleontology facts about beloved T-rex here! T-rex was most likely an ambush predator, hiding from its prey before leaping out to catch it. It wasn't a very fast runner since it's so big and heavy, so pursute predation wasn't the best option for them. They had padded cushions on their feet that made their steps silent, and most likely had proper camouflage colors to blend into their environment. T-rex also could not roar; roaring is a very mammalian thing. Instead, T-rex most likely had a low frequency bellow that could not be picked up by human ears, but that you could feel from miles away, vibrating through you like heavy bass at a concert. It also had feathers, and i will fucking fight you if you deny this because this bitch had an ancestor 10 million years older that still had feathers and 10 million years is not enough time to go completely featherless because WHALES used to be covered in fur, and they took 50 MILLION YEARS TO EVOLVE, AND THESE BITCHES STILL HAVE WHISKERS, SO FEATHERS ARE A BASAL TRAIT TO ALL THEROPODS AND BASAL TRAITS ARE REALLY HARD TO GET RID OF, FEATHERY T REX SUPREMACY ahem, anyway, realistically, t rex would not be able to survive in today's climate cuz it's much too cold and there isn't enough giant prey, but shhhhhhhhh isu bullshit and whatever lmao

[the-wolf-who-writes]

Zorua!Desmond AU Part 2

The first thing that told Clay something was wrong with the “timeline”, as he called it, was when his Porygon-Z glitched.

It did that occasionally for no reason at all. After it evolved when Clay was taken from Animus Island to “monitor the Tree”, Clay noticed some odd behaviors in his Pokémon partner. Such as it would glitch or even vanish for a few seconds before reappearing completely normal.

His companion wasn’t like any other Porygon-Z’s Clay had studied back in school. It had golden circuitry running around its body that Clay privately guessed had something to do with the Isu. Maybe it had been an experiment or something? Clay could only guess.

But he often attributed the weirdness down to “Isu bullshit” and left it at that. He had to watch a bunch of possible timelines end in catastrophe anyways, why would he have to spend more computer-brain power on weird shit his Pokémon did?

Not that he didn’t care for his Pokémon partner. He did. He was just a busy computer man trapped in a gray room for the rest of his existence.

Trainer Clay, I believe there is a glitch in the current timeline that might have something to do with Subject 17, Desmond Miles.

Clay’s head turned so quickly he would have gotten whiplash if he were still in his human body. His Porygon-Z talking in his head wasn’t a new thing. The mention of Seventeen though…

“Copy-paste and upload it through the Isu database to the Tree. Scan it for Desmond’s location.” Clay ordered, reaching out and placing his palm on the Tree’s trunk to quickly access the information.

Affirmative. Upload complete.

December 21st, Desmond Miles sacrificed himself to use the Eye to prevent the solar flare from frying Earth. A split second before he should have died, a glitch happened and the Eye responded to-

“This can’t be right.” Clay muttered. “It says the code was rewritten with a new program.”

New program accessed:

DO NOT LET DESMOND BE ALONE

connected to

AUDITORE FAMILY LINE

EZIO AUDITORE: linked to

PETRUCCO AUDITORE

Program applied:

2012 ERROR

1473 ACCEPTED

Eye activated

Program accepted

Rerouting power into TIME TRAVEL MODE

Combining human-Isu-Pokémon DNA

Combination successful

Program complete

Thank you for using Isu Interfaces

The information overload passed in a blink. Clay staggered back, gripping his head. “How the fuck did that give me a headache?”

Clay’s partner gave its best impression of a shrug. Clay just shook his head. Isu tech was an anomaly and every time he thought he finally understood it…

It did something weird like turn Seventeen into a Pokémon and throw him back in time. Well at least he was with the Auditore family. It could be worse.

Clay quickly located the branch of the timeline Desmond had been thrown into. He watched Ezio find a… bunch of static? Clay squinted and tried to go back farther in the timeline. He found he couldn’t go earlier then Ezio approaching a closed-off alleyway in Firenze and scooping a bunch of static into his arms, talking softly to it.

1473, only three years before the betrayal of the Auditore men. Clay’s gaze darkened as he watched Ezio bring the static to his little brother and flashes of the months ahead popped into his mind.

Petrucco hauled away with Federico and Giovanni, the static hidden inside of a false passageway that led from Petrucco’s room to Maria Auditore’s gardens. Maria and Claudia were also taken by the guards because they had gone out to buy some berries for the static.

“Hey Malware, are you able to make out the identity of that static?” Clay croaked. His non-existent heart pounded in his chest.

Running diagnostics.

The Anomaly in the Timeline is none other than Desmond Sneak, subject 17-B. Variant: Zorua, Hisuian. Dual type: Normal-Ghost. Current moveset-

“Stop.”

Clay watched as Desmond emerged from the hidden passageway and sniffed the air. The human-turned-Pokémon jumped onto Petrucco’s bed and let out a cry. He circled on the bed and laid down.

Clay cut the timeline connection to let Desmond mourn in peace.

[teecupangel]

So all this stuff about Desmond having the highest concentration of ISU DNA (I'm to ignore everything Ubisoft says about this after AC3) and Minerva's plan with Des as the "prophet" in the calculations leads me to think these AU :

1 - Desmond can't die in any way, from any damage at any stage of his life before the temple as a very screwed life insurance programmed by ISU (Minerva, probably), either by being the last one with that amount of ISU DNA in his body or to avoid any setback in the temple

2 - Desmond's body begins to gradually mutate to adapt to what will be his destiny in the temple but slowly he becomes more ISU than human, no one notices at first, there are signs of course (the bleeding probably doesn't hurt anymore) but everyone is too busy to notice, and Desmond is the only one who is aware that something is seriously wrong with his body (which leads him to survive the temple)

Lol. Well, you can borrow my usual go-to “I reject canon and substitute my own” and turn Desmond’s canon 0.952% Isu genes to 9.52%.

As for the prophet thing, Ezio is the ‘prophet’. To be more exact, he’s Desmond’s prophet so… in this religious-heavy symbolism/metaphor, Ezio is the prophet to Desmond’s messiah.

So… in a way, Desmond is actually higher than a prophet XD

Idea 1:

An argument could be said that this is sorta canon. The Isus picked a specific Desmond who would do all the necessary events (run away from home, be a bartender, get a motorcycle license, get abducted by Abstergo) and, if we think of this chosen Calculation as a specific branch of a large (glowing) tree, it’s directly tied to Desmond’s lifeline and is still growing ever so slightly. There will be smaller branches but these are all alternate branches (ex: instead of going to New York, he goes to Washington DC) that will either break off (too many deviations from the main calculations, creating a new timeline) or it would die out (Desmond dies in the end of this branch). The story we follow is the main branch and it continues on as long as Desmond lives. So this is less of the Isus creating an insurance program to make sure he lives thru and more that the Isus have ensured that the path Desmond walked would keep him alive.

However… if we set up a life insurance program that ensures Desmond survives no matter what (and can only be overridden by Isu orders), then we have three ways to make this happen:

1) Desmond receives a specific item that facilitates this.

In this idea, Desmond would receive this item early in life, maybe by the time he was born or when he was quite young. A family heirloom perhaps? Maybe a piece of jewelry like an earring from his mother that is said to be passed down to generations, a ‘wish of good fortune and long life’. The important part is that this item must be small enough that Desmond doesn’t mind carrying it all the time and attached to a part of his body (or he’s wearing it) that can’t be easily taken off by others (and maybe even Desmond). This item will be dormant until it scans Desmond’s DNA and the main idea is that it analyzes everything at a specific radius from Desmond, using its connection to the Calculations to remove any threats that have an 80% chance of killing or severely crippling Desmond. Training doesn’t count because it won’t kill him nor cripple him… physically anyway. This one would be the easiest to ‘combat’. All Desmond has to do is find what item is causing him to be sorta immortal and take it off, maybe even destroy it.

2) Devices are activated when Desmond is in the vicinity.

In this idea, we take the primary capability of the item in 1 and make the devices be stationed in specific locations that only activate if Desmond is in their range. These devices could be in temples and vaults, any Isu-related locations, and maybe some of them had already been taken by Abstergo but they remained dormant until they noticed that Desmond is in their range. Desmond’s life in New York has been guaranteed because he’s in the range of the Grand Temple. His life in Italy was also a guarantee because of the vault in the Vatican and Rome. This device can be something inconspicuous like a simple pillar in the vault/temple that only glows when Desmond is in its range. Or… it could be POEs in general. (Or both? The POEs themselves have a smaller range than the actual devices but they operate the same way)

3) The live preserving program is encoded into Desmond’s DNA itself.

Okay, this is the fun one and also the one that would give us yummy angst material. So, long story short, the Isus added a little bit of genetic manipulation to Desmond’s DNA that ensures that he will live no matter what.

My first choice is that this specific gene came from Altaïr’s side because we have no idea who most of his descendants are so we will have an easier time in ensuring this genetic manipulation will stay a secret until it’s passed on to Desmond but explaining how the gene got to his ancestor is more believable with Ezio since Minerva could have added it to his genes when they talked. Of course, we can just add the gene in Altaïr’s side thanks to the trusty lack of information about Umar’s origins (also, ‘son of no one’ implies he’s an orphan which means we can play with his background a lot).

Regardless of how Desmond got the gene, what it does is (and I definitely got this idea from Code Geass XD) that it uses the Calculations to check the possibility of Desmond dying. Anything at 97% or higher would activate this gene and control Desmond to ensure his safety above all else, even if it means either running away or doing something that would harm others, without any thoughts of the collateral damage. The ancestor he received this from also has this to a lesser degree to ensure they pass it to him (Altaïr: withstanding Al Mualim’s use of the power thru sheer willpower or, if we’re going for Ezio instead, Ratonhnhaké:ton finding the strength to kill Haytham at the end… perhaps the gene in Haytham has been disabled the moment Ratonhnhaké:ton has been born).

I say this would give us angst potential because this one is the most invasive. Desmond might start to think he’s a selfish person for prioritizing his life or he might think he’s going crazy because there are times when it feels like he’s another person for a few brief moments. Then he starts using the Animus and the Bleeding Effect starts messing him up even further…

Idea 2:

Oh, oh, oh! This is very similar to my and @fanworldbuildingfun’s idea a while back concerning how the Animus was slowly turning him into an Isu so maybe check that out if that interests you (it starts out with us giving more Isu backstory and then Desmond becoming an Isu gets slipped in)? In a nutshell, the usual route to change Desmond into an Isu is to make him start being ‘converted’ once he gets the Apple (maybe even point out that it starts with Minerva touching the Apple because we don’t really get a reason why she did that, although I do have an “It could be a verification thing?” headcanon for that XD) BUT the more interesting idea is that his conversion started once he’s been forced into the Animus because the Animus’ foundation is created from something Abstergo got from the Apple which might possibly be a POE. The Animus reads DNA for genetic memories but what if the device it’s based on can do more than that? Add in his high Isu genes and constant usage of the Animus and Desmond really had no escape for this one.

[saberamane]

So I just finished the main story of Assassin's Creed Odyssey, and here are my thoughts for those who care:

Overall the game was good, the story was impactful and there were a lot of things I loved about it.

First of all, ALL the Isu area's were amazing in their own ways. They were all varying degrees of cool or unsettling, and gave off the vaguely 'alien' feel I always thought the Isu things gave off.

The forge area where you upgrade the spear was both familiar and new, and the orange color the lights took on was unique.

The temple for Medusa was eerie, all the stone people outside, the petrified trees, the strange almost 'slowed-time' effect in the area, the fact your horse and eagle refused to enter the area...all very good touches. I suppose the only thing I was disappointed with in this side activity was the fact Medusa had legs and wasn't a Naga. I mean, she teleported anyway, why couldn't she have had a snake half?

Likewise, the Minotaur was really cool and the maze was awesome, how everything was falling apart, the deadends and various bones and corpses, the fact that the rope you're supposed to follow is broken or missing in area's, it was all really tense with the sounds of the minotaur echoing around you. And the dilapidated palace or whatever that was built over top was a good touch.

The Cyclops and Sphinx, however, were kind of a disappointment. The Sphinx didn't have her own 'arena' or temple, even if she didn't attack you. The fact that the area was outside and open to the world (and there was literally a camp with people in it 20 feet away) was a bit 'out of character' in my opinion. Yeah you had to answer the Sphinx's riddles to get the crest or whatever, but were the Isu so sure no one would answer them correctly to leave it to chance? At the very least they could have given the Sphinx an underground temple with trials to pass before even getting to her.

And the Cyclops on the forgotten isle was also kind of...blah. By the time I could get into the area, I'd already tried to enter multiple times through my exploration. And already had fought two other Cyclops who were way cooler. If anything, all three Cyclops should have had a fragment of the crest you needed, so that you'd have to fight all three. What even was the point of the other ones?

The legendary beasts were cool and fun to fight, I only wish you didn't have to kill or be banished by Daphnae at the end of it. Why could she have run away with me?

All the various tombs/temples/sunken area's/forts and just the general world you could explore were very cool.

Now for the things I didn't care for...

The world was WAY TOO FUCKING BIG. Seriously, the main story and exploring the world has me over 147 hours, and only about 3 of those hours was me doing the mainline story missions. So...why would it take me 144 hours? That would mean it took me 48 times the amount of time it took me to finish the story than it did to explore the world... That is too much. And most of the world isn't even used in the main story line either, so there's really no excuse to have such a massive map. You actually travel very little for the main story, maybe a bit more for all the cultists, but even then some cultists were very close to each other anyway, Ubisoft didn't even spread them out despite all the space.

For really a vast majority of the places you have to go out of your way to even see them. If you're just following the main questline, there are area's you will never even go to. In my opinion, the map could have been cut in half, at least, and still be a good game with a large area to explore.

And to tie in with the large map, they made the character levels go up to 99? Why? What was the need? So that you had to continue to go around to forts and such to kill large amounts of enemies to level up so the Mercenaries can't be 30+ levels higher than you? At 147+ hours, I'm only level 79, so another 20 levels to be maxed out, with the exp cap getting larger with each one...how long am I supposed to spend on this one game?

And now another big thing people have heard me talk about before. Why the two different character options, with only 1 set story? As in the character you choose to play as is always a mercenary whose sibling is presumed dead but is actually brainwashed by a cult. This would be fine if Odyssey was a self-contained game, but you have Alexios on the cover of the game, but Kassandra in the majority of promotional stuff, and the 'canon' protagonist who appears in another game!

Basically, Ubisoft made Kassandra too important to the AC universe as a whole to really allow for Alexios to have any space for himself. I mean, Kassandra not only interacts with Eivor at some point, but also lives to the modern times to give the staff of Hermes to Layla. And while I'm sure those parts would show Alexios if you played as him, the point still stands that it's Kassandra who appears in Valhalla.

So in my opinion, it should have been a similar scenario as with Eivor where the name is the same, just the gender is different, or it's a set storyline: You play as Kassandra, a mercenary who travels to find her family and save her brother from a cult.

Or...you know...not have Kassandra travel to other games...

In short, they've made Kassandra so important that Alexios is often an afterthought, and that's sad.

And kind of tying in with that last point, I thought it was really fucking stupid to show Kassandra getting the staff of Hermes, and seeing what happens when someone holds it too long, and then IMMEDIATELY having Kassandra appear in front of Layla to hand the staff over and die. Like, that was so sudden it really didn't have an impact on me? If you had to pull the player out of the animus and have Kassandra show up with the staff right there, why not let Kassandra work with the modern Assassin's for a bit, maybe have a big showdown with Abstergo where Kassandra helps them fight, AND THEN Kassandra gives Layla the staff and dies?

Just one after the other like that was unimpactful in my opinion. Or like...don't show us what happened when Kassandra's dad gave her the staff, fade to black with some ominous words like 'Kassandra, there's something you must know...' and then you think Kassandra's dad gave her the staff and left, so when Kassandra dies when she gives Layla the staff you're completely caught off guard with it because you didn't know for certain what would happen?

It was too rushed. Just saying.

A smaller issue I had...why were most of the romanceable npc's woman? Ubisoft gave a lot of instances where Kassandra could be a lesbian, but playing as Alexios you'd have very little men options... So either lesbians are ok, and gay men aren't, or if everyone was to play strictly 'straight' then playing as Kassandra could be seen as her being a better, more focused mercenary as she wasn't falling into bed with every man she saw, and Alexios would be a womanizer. Who knows, just a strange thing I noticed. I think I got the option with only three or four men to romance them, but like... every woman was dtf Kassandra...

Ok, now just some super small complaints:

-why could lynx's take me off my horse? they're pretty small.

-why were npc mercenaries's tamed animals so much better than mine?

-why could I not hunt whales? they're right there, I can kill sharks.

-why can't I get resources from birds? don't I need feathers for crafting arrows?

-why so many fucking ainigmata ostraka? why so many engravings? I haven't even used any of them...

-what's the point of that forge guy in Hephaistos's Workshop? He never did anything for me, so I stopped going.

-lead cultist was so predictable.

-stop pulling me out of the Animus when things are getting good!

-ugh...why should I care about Layla? I really don't... (bring back Desmond!!<3)

-also just...I find Layla annoying?? I just...can't stand her...Literally don't know why, just never liked her. (my first ever AC was origin's, didn't like her from the start so it's not 'you just don't like her cause Desmond' because...I literally knew her before Desmond...)

-Alexios forgave in ch9 far too quickly. the spear should have showed him what happened that night. simply taking Kassandra and Myrinne's word for what happened is stupid, he's been lied to by a cult his entire life...

-I got the 'best' ending with Nikolaos and stentor at dinner with Kassandra, alexios and myrinne. why is myrinne ok with nikolaos being there? he made up with Kassandra, to myrinne he's still the man that allowed the cult to nearly kill both her children. and stentor is a grown ass man adopted by her shitty husband. whi tried to kill Kassandra. just saying, best ending should not have nikolaos and stentor as part of the 'happy' family.

[bunny-j3st3r]

Archie sonic isue #3

Back at it again at krispy kreme

reminder that as much as I dislike archie sonic I am going to attempt to post as many positive as I do negative comments, these are just me logging my thoughts as I go through ALL of the comics because I like to torture myself.

After fighting with the site for awhile I'm reading these on lmfao we start with issue number 3 it's release date was on august 1993 with it publication date being October 1993.

"Sorry I scared you, anyway robotnik has a bomb" very normal thing to say sonic.

Something about Antoine's being fancy is really funny. They wanted to call this fruit a faggot so badly.

Mans really went FUCK christians me and my homies HATE christians.

Okay this bit made me cackle I'm ngl

I think this is what furry conventions feel like.

turns out the bomb was in fact a bug bomb, still not exactly enviromental friendly but eh, maybe robotnik should try a glue trap next.

Ah so they do aknowledge they changed her hair, I'm sure they aknowledge her fur change to but I don't recall that.

Ah here we have one of my favourite child hood characters when I was a kid and her first origins before they changed it many years later.

Not that I'm complaining I guess they wanted to give characters more plot lines.

I think her current orgins were similiar? don't quote me on that though.

careful she's a hero.

I love she was dying, saw a pretty girl and went I'm normal now acutally.

Very hetro behaviour.

girl they stole ur pigment

Tumblr when they see trans women

because I had to clip these from a different site it sadly seems that I'm unable to nab the questions and etc.

I do love the fun these old comics have but they sure have not aged well in some aspects.

They have charm to them though I suppose but it really does make me laugh when some sonic fans hold these comics as like the word of god of sonic lore when most of the time they just

don't make sense

FIRST < PREV < NEXT >

[squalodinoappreciationsquad]

Headcanons - Squalo's family

I did it for Dino, I guess I can put out in the wild some HCs I have for Squalo's family - outside the Vongola/Varia compound.

Again, I elaborated this for the Big Damn table, so there is not a lot, because "oh well, I need some hcs to help me fill the prompts", but now I kind of am working on expanding these.

Anyway, this is what I thought so far when I started the Big Damn Table.

***

Generally speaking Squalo has parents, one of which is very much a deadbeat. His father specifically, giving him a plethora of daddy issues and overcompensation issues, but that's probably for a different post.

Squalo's father as mentioned is a deadbeat, the guy named Livio Superbi fled as soon as his soon-to-be-wife Veronica announced she was pregnant. Luckily Veronica had her family's support. Although she tried to go legal to make him pay alimony, Livio was nowhere to be found, in Italy at least.

Squalo did find him in Argentina with an unwanted wife and three equally unwanted children, and also unable to divorce due to legal issues, legal issues being the ownership of an Argentinian citizenship by proxy of his wife and the fact that if he ever comes back to Italy the Fontana family is going to drag his ass to court and sue for everything he is worth.

Not counting that Squalo is part of an independent organization of very skilled assassins lol. THat man is never coming back, not even dead.

Squalo was not happy about it, but he does not blame the step siblings for his bio dad's shittiness. The man brought it onto himself and for Squalo it is enough of a punishment.

So technically Squalo has a step brother and two step sisters, but he mostly does not acknowledge them due to the aforementioned daddy isues and due to the fact that he saw firsthand his own mother suffer at the hand of his bio dad, so.

Squalo has indeed a mother called Veronica Fontana, to whom he is very attached. Italian law does not allow for single/divorced mothers to give their children their own surnames, so she has to live with the fact that her son is bearing the surname of the aforementioned literal piece of shit. also he DID recognize Squalo as his son as a sort of "fuck you enjoy being a single mum", so she could not even sue him so she could give her son her surname.

She loves her son a lot, although she wishes he wouldn't get hurt so much.

By the way, Squalo is NOT his actual name, he gave himself the name to sound cool. His mum called him Andrea - and NO it is NOT a female name in Italy. Italian law forbids ANY woman to be called Andrea because it is a male name. You can get around that if you add a second female name or if you go for the diminutive like Andreina. So. Andrea. He is technically called Andrea Superbi.

Ofc Dino knows Squalo's real name, Xanxus does too. They have their mouths sealed on that though, lest his reputation gets ruined.

Veronica is currently very much alive and well and is now enjoying retirement in the comfort of her house. She has started needle felting, knitting and embroidery as a way to cope with the fact that she is not able to wield a sword anymore like the good old days when she was young.

And yes, hers is a family of swordsmen since generations. Her brother Vittorio is a master fencer, Her father had medieval fencing as a hobby and in general all of them are accomplished swordsmen.

It was only natural that Squalo took swordsmanship.

Clearly they thought it'd be just a hobby, but if joining the Varia made him happy why not.

Below the family tree.

And Squalo is very much his mother's son in mannerism. He took the "VOOOOIIII" from her. He also has her blue eyes. He does look in traits like his bio dad but he is in full denial and still very much angry at him and probably never forgiving him.

[chamiryokuroi]

Hi, ive been following you for a long while, and my interest in assassins creed has slowly waned (desmond is still a time honored blorbo, mind), but god the minute you said a crossover with my fav game horizon zero dawn, its just fully reignited my interest. Anyways, what ideas do you have for it?

Oh god I’m not going to go into details because I want to finish Horizon Zero Dawn before I write down everything (I am so close to the end)

So Spoiler warnings for HZD but basically you cannot deny that the Humans vs Faro Robots is just the Isu vs Human war 2.0 electric boogaloo

Isu creates humanity as a slave race > gives them too many skills > humanity develops free will > humanity starts a rebellion

Humanity creates robots to do their work > gives them too many skills > robots develop feee will > robots starts a war against humans

The only difference between both is that the Isu / Human war ended because the sun flares fucked up the planet, while the Faro robots actually seem to have succeeded in eliminating humanity (haven’t got to this part yet but it seems like it)

So we know the Isu looked through all the available timelines, we also know that the Isu created something similar to Gaia but they did it to maintain some of their minds alive and to protect the planet.

Now to the crossover part, we know project Zero Dawn took the brightest minds available to work on Gaia and all the other forges, and we know that this included creating artificial intelligences and preserving human DNA, tell me that doesn’t sound like Isu bullshit? Anyways my crossover is obviously centered around Deamond waking up during the events of Aloy, but how did he get there? Originally I was planning to say some isu bullshit with the eye, but after learning about project Zero Dawn I have another idea.

Because what is to say one of those brightest minds isn’t someone that has knowledge about the Isu, someone that has basically gone through something similar in a way, someone that could have also access to Desmond’s DNA.

What if Elijah joined Project Zero Dawn and he slipped into the code a piece of his own work? What if he decided to code into Gaia a backup plan in case their original failed? And this included bringing forward someone that would have an easier access to controlling Gaia (implying this was created taking more of the isu tech than humanity to make it work) aka Desmond.

So it is Desmond, but it isn’t.

I will write more once I finish the game but this is the general idea

[fortrivmph]

realising i haven't mentioned anything about haytham and apollo's curse. i exaggerate a bit but it stems from a few things: haytham's accuracy with his historical predictions, his effectiveness as a strategist, the use of sages in black flag, and the fact that ubisoft decided it was a good idea to say that all gods are actually their illuminati aliens ( really really bad but we cope ). basically, i love the idea that haytham is just a bit too good at predicting outcomes in political and military situations. in the same way that edward had the ability to look at a puzzle and solve it without having to try too hard, haytham can see a chess game, or a military conflict, or a congressional meeting, and organise the moving pieces in his mind to discern the most probable outcome. the more he learns, the more accurate his predictions become; this is all within human ability, there are brilliant commanders in the world who think like this, but his is just a touch more extreme -- a sixth sense for complex affairs. in the same way a normal human could be trained into using eagle vision, but some assassins are born with it as an innate, almost-effortless ability, haytham can perceive sequences of events to come and act around them.

note that this does not apply to emotional or interpersonal situations. haytham is shit at communication. his analytical mind just cannot grapple with the way that people feel, and so he's constantly putting his foot in his mouth or making situations worse. what would be a great move in a game is often a terrible move when it impacts someone's life, read: connor and washington. he did it! he held the information until he had concrete proof for maximum impact! and people died for it because he was playing to 'win' on his own victory conditions instead of trying to be honest with his son. haytham could look at a stack of letters detailing troop movements and tell you how the next engagement would go down with shocking accuracy, but if you asked him how best to write a love letter he would give you terrible pragmatic advice and your relationship would implode and he'd be like. hmm. that should have resulted in a favourable outcome.

but he knows that a civil war is inevitable with the way the new nation was getting set up. he knew how the members of congress would act in their own self-interest. he has insane historical pattern recognition on a nationwide scale and never on a personal one; he only ever gets that in hindsight. anyways i refer to this as apollo's curse because if the isu were all gods and the assassins have high concentrations of isu dna then i get to say that haytham happens to show traits from the prophetic alien god, because it's fun and zesty and fits thematically in my mind with the fact that haytham has such a good grasp of the narrative happening around him that it often leads to inaction on his part, as he's paralysed by indecision with the number of paths he could take, knowing that none of them are perfect and preemptively mourning the ones he can't take. he is a guy fucking grieved by the fact that he has to make choices, which leads to him not making enough, his plans stalling out, his men dying, etc. he is way too in his own head and part of that, to me, has always been him being overwhelmed because in a world where you could be anything you simultaneously cannot be everything, and the more options you perceive for yourself, knowing that you can only pick one, the worse your anxiety becomes.

also he has a bitch mouth and cunt bearing that makes people not want to listen to him even when he's right. cassandra-esque.

[mimbotomy]

Hello!

I’ve never really “officially” advertised my fics before, just doing tag games and putting the occasional link under some of my AC Odyssey fanarts, but I’ve been thinking and I think it would be fun to start posting more about my fics here. I’ve had a lot of fun in the past talking to other writers and some of my readers and so I’m hoping that posting here will encourage more people to interact with me, because I am so horribly shy that I will never reach out first no matter how cool I think you are, and you are all so cool. But I promise I am super nice and will literally cry in happiness if you want to be my friend 🩷

But anyways, here is my first update of 2024! 🎉 Chapter 23 of The Children of Kephallonia, the Red Eyed Lion, is now up on AO3! Featuring Herodotos immediately giving up control of his and Kassandra and Barnabas’ shared brain cell upon decoding the cult letter, Myrrine being forced to consider that her cousin might be a traitor, and Kassandra reluctantly agreeing to return to her own personal hell on earth.

If you're interested, you can find future updates/related content for this fic under #the children of kephallonia and my general writing stuff under #for lack of a better tag! And my inbox/DMs are always open if you want to talk to me at all! Just be warned that I am sometimes the literal worst at responding to people. I still want to be your friend though 🥰

Fic summary below if you’re interested!

The Children of Kephallonia is an Assassin’s Creed Odyssey fic that starts at the beginning of the Korinth storyline, when Kassandra learns that Aspasia sent Phoibe to Monger ruled Korinth and decides she’s never letting her girl be put in danger like that again. And while bringing Phoibe on the Adrestia puts her in a whole new kind of danger, well... at least Kassandra can keep an eye on her.

Featuring:

Phoibe being the Atreus to Kassandra’s Kratos, as we deserved

a hopefully fun new interpretation of Kassandra and Ikaros’ bond

a less fun but arguably more accurate look at Kassandra and Myrrine’s relationship

Kassandra, Barnabas, and Herodotos taking turns with their shared braincell

Lots of references to Kassandra and Phoibe’s life on Kephallonia

Additional backstories for Deimos, Barnabas, Markos, etc.

Kassandra being an legitimate demigod (fuck the Isu) and a slight reinterpretation of the Cult’s MO to match

Lots of ships

fun little notes at the end of each chapter

And most importantly

Kassandra being the very best mom she can be to her beloved baby bird Phoibe

Rating: M

Warnings: Canon Typical Depictions of Violence, Mild Sexual Content, and the occasional vague reference to attempted or threatened sexual assault

Romantic Relationships: Kassandra/Brasidas, Kassandra/Daphnae, Kassandra/Alkibiades, Kassandra/Kyra/Thaletas, and Kassandra/Anais