#anyways sorry if you’re here for like. the lab mice. They come and go for me similarly to this guy.

[odd-chips]

I’m never beating the King Candy allegations at this rate, bro. :/

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

The last thing we need is for Y/N to go feral- XD Anyway, can I ask for some headcanons where Malleus, Rook, Vil, Silver, and Trey have to take care of their fem s/o after she turns into an actual cat please (lab accident, or spell gone wrong)? Thank you!

You can read S/O goes feral/acts like a wild animal headcanons here!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

... Honestly, with how powerful of a magician Malleus is, he could restore you to your usual human form right away The only reason he doesn’t is because you tell him you want to see what life is like as a cat. Your wish surprises him, but he respects your desire and allows you to do as you please until you are ready to return. That whimsy of yours never ceases to amuse him.

Night time strolls are a staple! You faithfully follow Malleus as he traverses the camps in the evenings, sometimes scampering ahead to lead the way through the darkness. Your eager attitude never fails to draw a chuckle from him as he allows his partner to guide him, just as much as he guides you.

Malleus likes to keep you resting in his lap during meetings (well, the ones they remember to invite him to). Because of his overwhelming aura, he has scared off a few mob students that walked in and saw him menacingly stroking a cat in his lap while listening in on a briefing. Malleus unintentionally gives off the vibes of a James Bond villain--

For your food, Malleus personally roasts your meat for you in his magical green flames. It’s a little act of love meant to add a bit of flare and pizzazz to your meals!

There’s a game you like playing together, similar to how you’d play with a cat and a laser pointer pen back home. In a dimly lit location, Malleus will summon his little green fairy lights, and it’s your job to try and catch them all as fast as you can!

Rook decides to let you run loose!! Night Raven College is your new hunting grounds—and your playground—to enjoy! He’ll follow you close behind, just to keep a watchful eye as you explore in your new body.

You bet he brings his camera with him to tail you. Rook can’t miss out on this rare opportunity to catch come pictures of you chasing butterflies and pawing at his pant leg to get his attention. Moments like these need to be captured on film so you can one day look back on this time and reminisce!

Oh, Rook adores how your fur tousles and fluffs up when you run about! He loves ruffling your fur up himself just as much, and makes sure to get in a good head pat, kiss, or tickle in whenever he can~

This man is savage. He straight up harpoons fish or shoots wild field mice and, on one knee, offers them to you as fresh food or “tokens of his undying affection”.

No one messes with you while you’re out exploring (mostly because Rook sneaks up behind them with a murderous smile to prevent them from raining on your parade). It’s a taste of freedom you haven’t had in a while, and you get to enjoy every second of it thanks to your guardian huntsman watching you from both near and afar.

Vil’s determined to safeguard you and not let you out of his sight until you return to normal. In fact, he picks out a hand bag that’s just the right size for you to fit in, and brings you with him to class and to his various acting and modeling gigs!

Nothing but the best for you, no matter what your form. Vil ensures that the production assistants on set fetch you healthy but nutritious and high quality meals, and crisp, clean water to drink.

He prepares a special litter box for you that is styled like a canopy bed with curtains. Vil thinks it is unseemly to “use the facilities” so openly, so he specifically chose a design that comes with opaque curtains. That way, you can step in and use the litter box discreetly.

He pampers you from head to claw! Just because you’re a cat doesn’t mean his darling shouldn’t look their best. Vil will wash you, dry you off, brush your fur, and file your nails to perfection. You’ll look like you just came off the cat walk when he’s done with you!

After a long, hard day, Vil embraces you and mutters his grievances into your fur. He finds comfort in your soft, small form, finding that you’re so much more well-mannered and behaved than Leona “brutish wild cats”.

Silver likes keeping you close to him at all times--specifically, close to his chest. He likes the feeling of having something small, fuzzy, and warm near and dear to his heart... but he has to be careful when he’s holding you, because he tends to fall asleep when he gets that comfortable!

He doesn’t trust anything that Lilia whips up for you. Silver marches straight off to the Mystery Shop to purchase some premium canned tuna for you because he knows it’s safe from being tainted by his dad.

He makes sure you get your exercise in by playing with you! That could mean joining him for a jog, or batting a teaser as Silver swings it around. Sometimes you get so into it that you completely miss the toy and pounce on him instead, and you both end up tumbling into the grass, laughing.

Not all days are high energy, though. Silver has times when he just wants to be lazy and relax with you. He’ll scout out a shaded area underneath a tree with a perfect sun spot not too far off for you--and there you’ll be parked for the rest of the afternoon, soaking up the mild weather.

Silver loves soft and fluffy things, so he’s always patting or squishing you in some way or another. He especially likes to nuzzle his face against yours and squeeze your little jelly bean paws... It’s so therapeutic!

First thing’s first, Trey’s clearing the kitchen and the immediate vicinity of foods that cats can’t eat. That means grapes, chocolates, onions, garlic... He doesn’t want you getting sick or hurt!

Trey’s not as good at cooking as he is at baking—but he knows enough to throw together some raw fish and spices to make a special tuna tartare (garnished with a basil leaf). He uses his handy-dandy food processor for the job while you sit at his side, waiting for the tuna to finish churning. It’s adorable watching your ears and nose twitch in anticipation!

After you’re done eating, Trey helps you brush and floss your teeth. He’s not exactly sure if cats need to take care of their dental hygiene to the same extent as humans, but it’s better safe than sorry!

When you’re indoors, Trey follows you around with a lint roller or a vacuum cleaner to clean up any stray cat hairs. He also keeps you away from curtains and furniture--anything that could be damaged by your claws! Riddle would throw a fit if you damaged anything!

Trey fusses over you as his dorm members attempt to get a head pat, cuddle, or a selfie in with your cute kitty self! He claims it’s because they’re causing you trouble, and while that’s true, he’s not being entirely truthful, either. He’s actually a little jealous that he has to share you, too!

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: “Win Big”

And so we begin. For real, this time.

And to start, we have to go all the way back to Animaniacs season 1, episode 2, with the very first Pinky and the Brain skit which is named “Win Big”.

Interestingly enough, the duo are not directly trying to take over the world in this episode. The premise is that Brain needs money to buy the one part needed for his actual plan to take over the world using a machine he calls the “Super-Conductive Magnetic Infindibulator”, which will “deplete hydrogen and promote gravitational collapse [to produce] a magnetic charge from the center of the Earth so strong that every person who has loose change in their pockets will be magnetically drawn to the ground and stuck there”.

…

For those of you who are new to the series and for those of you who maybe can’t remember the show very well, I want to say that yes, what you’re probably asking yourself right now is true: Brain’s plans are almost always this complex and completely absurd with giant, glaring holes in logistics. There’s been a long-time “theory” that while their theme song says “one is a genius, the other’s insane” and intends to indicate that Brain is the genius while Pinky’s insane, it’s actually the other way around. And honestly? That doesn’t exactly hold up to any kind of scrutiny at all. Brain is actually a genius…he’s just also very, very short-sighted and lacks a lot of common sense. He’s so focused on his goal of world domination that he forgets to account for even the most obvious of details that would completely ruin what he’s trying to accomplish. And Pinky? Well, Pinky’s a lot smarter than he seems, but I wouldn’t exactly mark him as a genius. He’s just more worldly, more emotionally intelligent, and has a knack for pointing out the obvious. For you D&D nerds out there, think of it like this: Brain is a high INT low WIS character while Pinky is a high WIS low INT character.

As for which one is “insane”? Disregarding the…let’s just say “problematic” baggage that comes with that word, I’d argue that Pinky is just neurodivergent and Brain has a lot of problems. Like, a lot of problems. We’ll get more into that mess much farther down the line.

In any case, the opening of this episode has Brain pulling Pinky away from watching what is obviously supposed to be The Honeymooners, complete with “Bang, zoom, right in the kisser!” quote and everything. That quote, or one like it, was what the character Ralph Kramden would frustratedly yell at his wife, Alice, after she’d dismiss a get rich quick scheme of his. It was an ultimately impotent threat of violence, as he never did hit her. A lot of folks before me have delved into how messed up and controversial that whole running gag was, so I didn’t particularly feel the need to go over it here.

However, it does become immediately relevant because as Pinky laughs at the joke and excitedly quotes it while Brain is trying to get his attention, Brain reaches up and gently holds both their faces close for a few moments…

“Stop saying that, Pinky!...”

…then more aggressively tugs Pinky’s face down as he finishes with “…Or I shall have to hurt you.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, Brain. NARF!”

Isn’t it interesting how the very first thing this series does is juxtapose Pinky and the Brain’s relationship with that of the main married couple on The Honeymooners? Like, it’s certainly not the most healthy of a relationship parallel to make, but in Pinky and Brain’s favour their world is governed by slapstick humour and thus any and all violence is much less serious. Also, there’s Pinky’s…uh…special relationship with physical pain that will become more apparent as the series goes on. Like, of course this kind of behaviour is wrong and appalling in real life, but this is a Warner Brothers Looney Toons-style cartoon and there’s a big difference between the two.

There’s also this little tidbit of information on the Animaniacs wiki regarding this episode and its writer, Peter Hastings:

“Although Peter Hastings has stated that he always tried to have Brain threaten to hurt Pinky but never actually hit him (because he felt this was both funnier and truer to the character), Tom Ruegger and the other producers would often have Brain actually hit Pinky. Even in this very first short, the Brain does follow through.”

Moving on, though, after Brain Rube Goldberg machine’s his way out of their cage and points out that Pinky has an “inordinately short attention span” after Pinky gets briefly distracted by another TV show that’s a very blatant parody of Jeopardy, he explains to Pinky his latest plan for world domination.

“EGAD, Brain, brilliant!”

“…Uh oh, no, wait…what if they take off their pants?”

^ The face of a man who somehow managed to forget that clothes are removable.

See what I mean about Pinky having a knack for pointing out the obvious? It’s very much needed to counteract Brain’s complete lack of foresight and introspection.

“Then…we’ll have to take over the world quickly.”

…Though there’s also something to be said for Brain’s stubbornness.

So they need a part for Brain’s machine called a Infindibulator, which is for some reason listed in the Farmer’s Almanac??? Which to my knowledge doesn’t sell anything at all??? Okay, Brain, whatever you say.

Brain actually kicks Pinky directly in the ass to get him up onto the Almanac to read it,

which would be alarming if not for Pinky’s completely happy and sincere “Thanks! :D” afterwards. It’s a mere hint to Pinky’s…predilections. I find it interesting that it’s so subtly foreshadowed in this very first short. I know you newer folks might think I’m joking, but I assure you I’m not. You will see.

As a side note, it’s so odd hearing Rob Paulsen’s early Pinky voice in these first several Animaniacs shorts. I’ve seen fans say that it’s more lispy than the standard Pinky voice that we’re all familiar with, but to me it just sounds like Pinky with a very, very bad cold and a stuffy nose. Get this mouse some nasal spray.

So Pinky finds the entry for the Infindibulator and it costs a whopping $99000. Where would two little lab mice find that kind of cash?

It sure is lucky and convenient that the TV is still on during that moment and tuned into an episode of Jeopardy—I mean “Gyp-Parody” (Really, writers? Really? In addition to being a horrible and lazy pun, I would rather not have to type a slur so much, so I’m just going to call it the name of the show it’s based on) where the reward for winning totals $99000.

And here we go, the first of its kind. The birth of the most famous running joke from Pinky and the Brain!

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“I think so, Brain, but where are we going to get a duck and a hose at this hour?”

…Believe it or not, Pinky’s bizarre answers do have an explanation and a certain logic to them, but we find out the hows and whys much, much farther along in the series. That said, I’ll be damned if I know how he got to this particular train of thought right now. The inner machinations of Pinky’s mind are an enigma.

So Brain gets the idea to become a contestant on Jeopardy to win the amount of money they need for their plan. Pinky points out that the questions on the game show are very, very hard and Brain would have to get all of them right, and I just love Brain slowly turning his head to face Pinky with the most deadpan “Bitch, are you for real?” look on his face.

To Brain’s credit, he doesn’t berate the other mouse at all for his doubts. He just very calmly asks Pinky to quiz him about anything he can think of. When Pinky asks him “What is pie?”, well, see above for the summary of the answer Brain gives.

He then asks for a harder question, and Pinky asks him which TV character says “Bang! Zoom!—“ before Brain cuts him off with a wack of a pencil for quoting something inane and annoying him again.

Though he quivers a little before the smack, Pinky’s fine afterwards. Smiling, even.

And he happily gives Brain the answer anyway, complete with bows. “Ralph Kramden! TA-DAH! :D”

But Brain is insistent on preparing to go on Jeopardy, grabbing Pinky by the tail to drag him off-screen and Pinky is…

Hmm.

He’s, uhh, more than fine with it.

Now we get the debut of the human suit mecha. It’s quite the staple of the series; the go-to for a human disguise whenever the mice need one.

And it certainly is…something. You may be noticing the lack of a human head. Don’t worry about it. Brain certainly didn’t.

I love Brain’s playful little “Honey, I’m hoooome!~” when he pops his head out, despite having a deadpan look on his face the entire time. He’s having fun!

“Ahahaha! Oh, that’s a funny joke, Brain!”

“I am not devoid of humour.”

Pinky is having a little less fun with his tail accidentally tied along with the shoelaces, however.

It’s fine, he’s fine. He’ll be okay! Pinky is indestructible.

He’s a pocket pal now. He’s fine.

Makin’ my way downtown, walkin’ fast…~

Okay, sorry, he’s hailing a cab instead. Effectively, too!

Oh hi, Warners, nice to see you! Doing a literal running gag, I see. Nice, nice.

Goodbye!

So if you were wondering how regular humans would react to Brain’s “clever” and totally made without proper foresight disguise, well…

“Wh—HOA! Hey, if you don’t mind me askin’, bub, what happened to your head?”

“Nothing. I am a mouse in a large, mechanical suit.”

“Hehehehe! Okay, all right, my fault for askin’, right? Heh.”

Yup. This isn’t the first time this kind of thing happens. I guess since they’re in Hollywood the taxi driver’s seen worse.

So Brain gets on the show (don’t worry about how, shh) and the announcer calls him “Brian” instead and Brain politely tries to correct him. I can’t exactly fault the announcer because 1. “Brain” isn’t a name and 2. Look at Brain’s gloriously messed up handwriting.

The host walks on in. It’s pretty cute that they gave him the parody name “Alex Quebec”. It’s a suitable pun and rhyme to hint at the fact that Alex Trebek was born in Canada. Rest in peace, Mr. Trebek.

The first question is in the category of celebrity shoe sizes and asks what size sandals Plato wore. Umm. Okaaaaay… Thank goodness this show first aired before websites for foot fetishists cataloguing celebrity feet was a thing. Also is it just me, or does that font looks like something off of The Simpsons?

I don’t know if I should be worried or not that Brain got the correct answer to this question. (Seven and a half, if you’re curious.)

Question two is totally a trick question, though. There’s no such place as “Lestho”. “Lesotho”, however, is a real kingdom in South Africa. King Moshoeshoe I was indeed the ruler in 1820 as Brain answers, although the place was called “Basutoland” at the time and didn’t formally become a kingdom until 1822.

Educational!

Question three is a normal if extremely hard question for anyone unfamiliar with geographic locations off of the southeast of Asia. There are a lot of correct answers, and Brain answers correctly with “Bikar, Ailuk, and Ailinglaplap”. As this post notes, he is totally flexing on everyone by naming very obscure coral atoll islands that are some of the furthest neighbours from the Isle of Yap.

You smug asshole, Brain.

We don’t get the questions Brain answers correctly in the following montage, but we do get a close-up of his handwriting. Look at this. Just…look at it.

We get to see the aftermath of Brain’s monopolizing of the scores, though. The other contestants aren’t looking too good. Note that it seems there were times that they did manage to buzz in to answer before Brain did, but they must have got all of their answers or at least most of them wrong. They’re both in the negatives.

“Any plans on how you’ll spend your winnings?”

“Yes. I plan to take over the world!”

“...”

“…Ah haha, my fault for asking.”

Pinky claps and congratulates Brain on doing so well so far, because he’s a sweetheart like that, and

Brain flicks him back into the pocket. Man, you’re so quietly mean in this first episode, Brain.

Now it’s the final question, from the category “Quotable Quotes”. I remember this kind of category as usually being the easiest on Jeopardy, so it’s kind of surprising that it’s the Final Jeopardy question.

Uh-oh.

Looks like someone forgot that Jeopardy questions aren’t all science, history, and geography-related. Sometimes they’re about pop-culture.

Brain is…not very good with pop-culture. And Pinky’s been banished to the bottom of the coat pocket.

Whoops.

“Umm. Uh, who is, uhh… I, umm. Who is, uhh… Who is…uhh, Pinky…?”

Oh Brain, honey, it’s cute that you got so stumped and flustered that you just blurted out the only name that came to mind (and because Pinky was quoting it earlier, but still!), but it’s also so very, very sad.

Of course that’s incorrect, and Brain is just so monumentally defeated.

“And how much did you wager?”

“Everything…”

HUBRIS!

We then cut to the mice watching Brain’s horrible defeat on TV, and Pinky suggests a few other game shows they could try: Wheel of Misfortune, $10,000 Pile-A-Mud… The latter of which is supposed to be a parody of the old game show Pyramid, which wasn’t around in that format by the time this episode aired, so…good luck with that one, Pinky.

But no, Brain doesn’t plan on going on any more game shows. He instead walks sadly over to their cage to rest for tomorrow night.

It’s then that we are witness to the birth of the other memetic exchange this show is known for:

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

That wink, though. It’s the confident wink that sells this and tells us all you need to know about the Brain. No matter how bad his defeat, how humiliated he gets, or how sad he feels about failing, Brain always gets back to business sooner or later. He has determination on his side. And Pinky, of course.

And that was the very first Pinky and the Brain short! A pretty good start for the series, really. Nothing spectacular, and definitely not the worst, just a good start that sets the tone of the series well and establishes several of the running gags the show is known for. The creators pretty much have Brain as a character down right away: serious but not devoid of humour, single-minded, stubborn, egotistical, smart, and determined to meet his goals. There are a few things missing from him that we get later, and he certainly softens a bit by the time the spin-off starts, but they’ve set up a solid foundation to build on so far here. Pinky’s character is a little more nebulous in this episode, though. He’s shown to be generally good-natured, smarter than he first seems, easily distracted but well-meaning, and willing and able to help Brain achieve his goals. Still, he’s missing the much of the overwhelming kindness and his enthusiasm for Brain’s plans and awe at Brain’s intellect that he has as we go further through the series. I mean, there are hints of it here, too, but it’s much more understated compared to later on. Not to mention that Pinky gains a bit of a sassy side to him that somehow still manages to be friendly, like when you gently tease your friends while still caring about them.

I understand that you can’t really squeeze all of that into the first, like, fifteen minutes or so of a series, though.

Also, the animation for this episode wasn’t exactly the best of the series. There are points where Brain looks kinda muppet-y and Pinky is uncharacteristically gaunt and gangly. I mean, Pinky is usually a little gangly but not as hunched over and his nose stretched out so much. It’s not the worst, either, and serves as a decent baseline of how the characters look. Wang Film Production looks to be the animation studio behind this one, and I’d say their style is the most “normal” quality of the ones that get to animate for PatB. They do settle into a better and more consistent style for the show, so I’ll try and be on the look-out for that.

I’m not sure if the other posts I’m going to do on this rewatch will be quite so play-by-play as this one was. Since this is the first, I felt the need to establish in more detail the kind of things that happen in your average episode of PatB and the general rhythm of the show. I’m definitely going to try and include every instance of the ongoing running gags the series has, though.

I feel I should also say that from now on I might have to double or triple the amount of episodes in one post, too. There are some episodes in a long-running series like this where not too much of note happens, I’m sure, and I know at least a few are either silent shorts, cameos in other Animaniacs skits or little music videos and you can only get so much out of those entries.

Yes, music videos. Including a cameo appearance in a Macarena parody. I’ll prepare as best as I can to cringe so hard from secondhand embarrassment that I morph into a pretzel shape.

We’re only getting started, folks. Things are only going to get weirder and more interesting from here on out.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e4: pinky and the fog

hello everyone! the hiatus is still going because i still feel like shit, mr stark, but this episode is weirdly short so i’m doing it anyway while i have some energy. i have a blood test tomorrow! i should be sleeping. i am not. (:

episode summary: brain has listened to too much of The Mist, which in this universe is a radio drama about a superhero, and not an overly depressing book where everyone dies. in turn, brain dubs himself “the fog,” and aims to hypnotise people by having his own radio show where he sticks his fingers in his mouth and does a funny voice.

i love him.

the rundown: it is New York City in 1932.

this time, there is very little introduction to the wonderful world of New York City 1932. there’s no intro or anything. it just cuts straight to mice.

they are listening to the radio. “WHO KNOWS WHAT MADNESS LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN. THE MIST KNOWS.” at least now we know what madness lurks in the mind of peter hastings.

brain does not care. he’s meditating.

pinky, meanwhile, is unimpressed by the quality of radio. produced by rusty mills? he didn’t do a very good job, evidently.

“narf. i still can’t get a picture on this thing, brain.”

lol.

brain sits there and massages his head and pulls a funny face. he tells pinky to be quiet, because he has “almost finished honing” his “razor sharp mental powers”, which i assume means that he has buried himself in a seventy-eighth layer of emotional repression. homeboy is in narnia at this point.

pinky is excited about honing!!

and then he falls off the wheel.

brain does not care for the fate of his cagemate, and goes on to elaborate that

NOW HE HAS THE POWER

by power, he presumably means “funny little hat and cape”. he is now, as he emphatically tells pinky, THE FOG.

“nice fedora, brain”, says pinky, predicting every single person on reddit who thinks, perhaps, that they are brain in a world of pinkys. or possibly a rick sanchez in a world of whoever the other guy is that he doesn’t like. i’m not sure these kinds of people watch TV, for fear of Social Justice Messaging.

anyway brain is not an incel and we should be nice to him.

“but i see you more as a beret type.” see? berets are better! they have no terrible association, unless you’re particularly adverse to the french.

anyway brain offers to demonstrate his Mental Powers.

“ooohhh, i love it when you demonstrate, brain.” yes, pinky, i’m sure you do. he manages to not be gay for long enough to turn off the radio, which is more than most people can say for themselves.

“by altering the frequencies of my voice, i am able to befog men’s minds!”

i guess it doesn’t work on women, apparently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“with some electronic gizmo thingy?”

“no! with these.”

okay.

IN A MOMENT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE ME. FOR I AM THE FOG.

as pinky attempts to turn the radio back on, he accidentally trips over their wheel.

you can’t see it very well, but rest assured it is definitely spinning very fast.

air mouse.

nyoom.

“egad brain! it worked! i can’t see you!”

brain is taking a bath.

still, as he ponders how to use his power on “millions of people at once”, pinky excitedly tells him that his trick worked! he’s as good as the guy on the radio!! (:

brain pulls his patented Idea Face. we know he’s just had an idea because he goes all like O:O and it’s cute.

brain will go on the radio! “taking the place of mist, so i can broadcast my genuine mental powers to millions of listeners, befogging their minds until they,”

MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.

so off they go to the radio station.

the radio tower they need to access is, of course, at the tippy-top of this building. brain calls it “yon tower”, for some reason (pretentious git) and casually mentions that soon it will broadcast his befogging message to every household in the world!

“and then, my dream will be realised.”

“you mean--”

“you’ll finally get to dance with the ballets russes?”

“no. the other dream.”

they make it into the radio station eventually, where they meet this bellboy.

we’re bellboys ouo

brain BEFOGS HIS MIND

and asks him very nicely to close the door.

GET IT?? HE’S A DOOR MOUSE. LOL

“open the door.” ):

the bellboy obliges, and, yet again, brain survives something that would kill literally anyone else.

it’s preparation for elmyra. probably.

inside the studio, the orchestra play some music befitting for a woman to freak out about getting kidnapped or whatever.

there she is. YOU’LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU CRAZED MADMAN.

THE MIST WILL FIND ME.

IF HE DOES. HE’LL FIND YOU IN THESE CHAINS. UAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA.

<jingle jangle.>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

as the Crazed Madman elaborates on his list of tortures (IN THIS DARK CELLAH, DOWN A LONG LOOOONG FLIGHT OF STAIRS) (which sounds like the filming location for funnybones, but go fig. hope lady enjoys the faint sound of meglovania playing in the distance) the mice watch, unimpressed.

brain does whatever that is with his arms, i guess. he’s squaring up.

as he peeps (don’t do it, pluto) pinky confides with a naaaaaaaaarf that he didn’t expect radio to be like this! more like-- okay, he describes it as “a big red squishy ball with little nobules on it” but i think i get what he means. kind of like windows media player visualisers.

i hope none of y’all are too young to get that.

“who are those ridiculous people who just stand there and read?”

“those are actors, pinky.”

“and who are those people that nobody’s paying attention to?”

“those are the writers.”

oof.

that burn concluded, the mice make their way into the vents.

brain flies away with his cape, somehow.

pinky........... also has a go.

rip.

conclusion:

this is a short episode.

as they make their joint landing on the desk of the sound effects guy, 

brain BEFOGS HIS MIIIIIIND

FOR HE IS THE FOG

pinky excitedly interrupts to tell brain that the actual mist has arrived.

hmmmmm.

“the jig is up, crazed madman. for i am the mist.”

“MIIIIIIST. SAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEE.”

as the mice prepare to make their debut, Crazed Madman informs the mist that he is too late! he is locking his girlfriend in his SECRET DUNGEON

BONK.

YOU FIEND, yells mist.

but the crazed madman isn’t done yet! he’s NAILING THE DOOR SHUT.

narrow escape for pinky. he has gone his whole life with a perfect tail and he’s not about to get it all bendy now, god damn it. he has to be on queer eye in like ten minutes.

brain is less fortunate.

alright well. never mind. oh dear.

AND, because Crazed Madman isn’t done yet. TO MAKE SURE THE POOR LASS CANNOT POSSIBLY ESCAPE.

I’M BUILDING A BRICK WALL IN FRONT OF IT.

ouch.

THEN I’LL THROW THESE DISHES UNTIL I SMASH YOUR HEAD IN, MIST

“haha!” says mist. “you can’t get me!”

“NOT EVEN WITH THIS,”

“ANVIL???????????”

BONK ² .

oof.

“i dare you to do that again!”

“oh no.”

BONK ³ .

“quick, pinky. run for cover!”

it’s a very cute screenshot! so they take cover inside... whatever instrument this is.

i don’t know!! i’m sorry!!!!

good thing the mist TOOK THE PRECAUTION

OF CALLING THE CAVALRY

nyoom.

I HEAR THEM COMING NOW

this is just.... a lot, at this point.

after getting bonked around so much, pinky is just about ready to jump into the bin.

he holds his nose! it’s very cute. brain follows him, pretty much without thinking about it, which is also very cute.

“a bomb!” yells distressed lady, as a bomb evidently becomes plot relevant.

“a bomb?” says the mist.

“a bomb?” says brain.

“sure, here’s one.” says pinky.

hm.

“i rerouted your bomb!” yells mist. “so all you blew up was your own lab!”

“my lab!” yells Crazed Madman.

“my hero!” yells Distressed Lady.

“my head.” says The Fog, shortly before collapsing with exhaustion.

SO ENDS ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE MIST.

meanwhile, back at the lab, a very bandaged brain mourns the loss of his Befogging Powers. his pawsies got all banged up!

never mind. at least they have Experimental Television Project to cheer them up!

brain isn’t into it.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 12

“i think so, brain, but--”

“the rockettes? i mean-- it’s mostly girls, isn’t it?”

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @snazzysterek!

I hope you enjoy this!

Read on AO3

*****

ready to start

“Goddammit,” Stiles said, and kicked back on his wheelie chair, banging into the wall of his shared office.

“What,” Isaac said, not even bothering to lift his head up from where he had it cradled on his arms, as he clicked through the latest issue of PNAS.

“R is not cooperating and I just need to get this analysis done before I can go home for the weekend,” Stiles whined, turning his chair around and poking Isaac’s head. “I need your R skills, man, help me out.”

“It’s 4:45 on a Friday,” Isaac said, shaking his head and dislodging Stiles’ hand. “My brain’s already offline. Why don’t you go get a drink and start the weekend early?”

“Ugh, but I just want to get this done,” Stiles said, and stared at his computer, willing R to just automatically glean what he wanted to do and put pretty graphs on his screen. “Finstock’s gonna kill me if I tell him that I’m still analyzing my data for the third week in a row.”

“Finstock’s out next week, remember? He’s going to that conference in England.”

Stiles…had completely forgotten.

“I love you, Isaac,” he said, patting Isaac’s curls even as Isaac snapped at his fingers like an overgrown puppy, and speedwalked out of the office, heading over to the shared cold room on the other side of the floor.

Technically, the cold room was only supposed to hold actual biological samples. Practically, however, it also held a stash of various beers and ciders and other drinks that was routinely restocked by the grad students and side-eyed by the undergrads. There was also a protocol in place for whenever Environmental Health and Safety decided to pop in for a surprise visit – the beer bottles would go in the drawers next to Isaac’s desk, the ciders in Stiles’ drawers, and the beer cans in Harley’s desk in the office she shared with Erica down the hall. So far, it had never failed them. The only time they’d gotten a warning from EHS was when someone (read: Isaac) had left a half-full can of beer on the very back of one of the shelves, which had started collecting some unknown mold, and no one had wanted to touch it so it had stayed there, growing more and more sentient with each passing day until EHS made them take it out. A pity, because Harley had been ready to take it away and figure out what species it actually was.

The point was, there were drinks in the cold room, and they were good. Perfect way to start off a Friday evening, or alternatively, drown your sorrows when your paper got rejected for the nth time. Not that Stiles was speaking from personal experience or anything!

Anyway, Stiles was really looking forward to trying some of the green apple cider Harley had brought earlier this week, and the thought propelled him forward to the cold room. He hummed tonelessly under his breath, ready to think about everything else other than his research for the night, but then he opened the door to the cold room, flipped on the lights, and froze in sheer horror.

The shelves which usually held the drinks were completely empty, except for two measly cans of PBR. There was absolutely no sign of any of the other drinks, not even the half-empty thing of boxed wine that had been sitting there for half a month and was probably undrinkable by now.

“What,” Stiles said, “the fuck.”

He took in the scene with narrowed eyes, and then turned on his heel and stomped out. It was time to investigate.

It being Friday evening, the hallways were fairly deserted, and Stiles was pretty sure the weedy undergrads he saw comparing notes on some exam or the other weren’t the culprits. For one, their backpacks were definitely not big enough to hide a whole bunch of cider in, let alone the beer.

He stalked past them, ignoring their wide eyes and furrowed brows, and slammed open the door to his office (then closed it gently because probably the undergrads should not be privy to this conversation).

“Isaac!” he snapped. “What the hell happened to the drinks?”

“The drinks in the cold room?” Isaac said, spinning around on his chair, making the perfect impression of the surprised Pikachu face. “I haven’t done anything to them. Are they not there?”

“No!” Stiles resolutely did not wail. “Everything’s gone, even that gross old boxed wine!”

Isaac switched from surprised Pikachu face to his favorite grimace. Stiles sighed, and reminded himself to finally print out that “No Emotional Journeys!” sign and pin it up on his desk.

“Okay, well, there’s two PBRs left but we all know PBR is the drink of the devil,” Stiles amended, and Isaac waggled his eyebrows at him.

“A drink’s a drink, dude,” he said. “We can figure out where the rest of the drinks went later, just go get yourself one before those disappear too.”

Stiles groaned and gave in, heading back to the cold room. The undergrads had migrated to right across the office door, but Stiles didn’t care if they’d been eavesdropping. This was a serious problem! Pesky undergrads could shove it until he had an awful, awful beer in his hand…awful beers that had also disappeared from the cold room in the few minutes he’d been gone.

He resisted the urge to rattle the shelves. He was an adult, he was a graduate student, he was not going to whine about a missing PBR of all things. He slunk out of the room, debating whether to go see if the mice labs two floors down had any drinks hidden away, or if it was wiser just to give up and go home.

Going down to the mice labs had mostly won out when Stiles spotted two figures that had just turned the corner and were walking down the hallway, away from him. He recognized Scott’s end-of-the-day rumpled hair immediately, and was ready to go complain to him when he also registered the can he was holding, hidden in a violently red koozie, but definitely the same size as the missing PBRs. Stiles didn’t recognize the other person with him, but they also had a koozie in their hand – two cans. He couldn’t believe it, but it must be true – Scott had taken the PBRs from the cold room. The outrage!

“Scott!” Stiles yelled. Scott turned around, classic goofy grin on his face, but it faded as he saw Stiles barreling down the hallway towards him.

“What—,” he managed to get out before Stiles ran into him and started tugging on his drink.

“Scott, how could you do this to me! I thought we were bros!” Stiles said, knowing he was coming off as very strange but at this point, he was too far gone to care. “You pillaged the last drink!”

Scott tugged his drink back but Stiles refused to let go, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scott’s mysterious companion take a slow step back.

“And!” he said, letting the drink go abruptly in favor of using his hands to gesture at the Mysterious Companion, while still keeping his gaze on Scott’s startled face. “And you bring this random person in and give them a drink instead of saving it for me?? You’re flagrantly violating the rules of our friendship, man!”

Scott stumbled back a couple steps and then raised his hands. “Stiles, I think you’ve got the wrong idea, dude.”

“I’d like to see you explain your way out of this!” Stiles said, agitatedly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“The hell, Stiles, you know I stopped drinking like a year ago! This is just a La Croix!”

“Oh,” Stiles said, pausing. “Oh, yeah. I did know that.”

“Yeah, oh. I think you need to explain to me what exactly is happening and why you’re freaking out.”

“Uh, so,” Stiles began, glancing around as he finally let his brain slow down a little. The undergrads from earlier were huddled in a corner, and he was sure he saw one of them rapidly typing away on his phone. Probably live-tweeting his breakdown, titled “saw my TA having a breakdown, just another day in college.”

“So?” Scott said.

“Okay, so Isaac made me go to the cold room for drinks but there were no drinks! Like none, Scott, everything was gone except for these two cans of PBR and I went back to check with Isaac if he knew what had happened, and he said he didn’t, but by the time I came back to get the PBRs they were gone anyway!” Stiles blurted out, hands moving everywhere to emphasize the dire straits he was in. “The entire stash is gone without a trace, Scott, it’s so bad!”

He took a breath and then added, “Also, what the hell, you’re drinking La Croix? At least get a Coke or something man, you know La Croix tastes like someone vaguely described fruit to an alien.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, but we got them at this vet school mixer thing we were at and free stuff is free stuff. But okay – I see why you’re so stressed, but don’t worry, we’re here, we’re going to solve this mystery!”

Stiles grinned as they both fistbumped. Scott always came through.

A polite cough interrupted them and Stiles whirled around, remembering the Mysterious Companion.

“Oh!” Scott said. “This is Derek! He’s a PhD student in like the history department, and he was at the mixer because he wanted to talk to some vets about canines but anyway—” Scott waved his hand in the air. “Long story. Point is, he’s cool! Derek, this is Stiles! You know how I study gut microbiota? Stiles’ advisor is actually my co-advisor, that’s how we became friends!”

Some tiny part of Stiles’ brain noted that Scott was grinning and still prattling on about how he and Stiles became best bros for life, but the rest of it was focused mostly on Mysterious Companion Derek, and his green eyes and glasses and dark hair and solid body and the hint of a smile on his face, and the shirt that made a stupid joke about Shakespeare and also made his arms look very nice. Then he had the abrupt realization that he had just massively embarrassed himself in front of this very beautiful man and his stomach turned itself into a pretzel.

“Okay very nice to meet you but I just remembered I have a thing. In lab. That I have to do like immediately. Sorry see you later!” Stiles said, turned on his heel, and zoomed down to his office, even as Scott called his name. He could feel the heat coming off his face. It was time to die in a ditch.

“It is time to die in a ditch,” he said as soon as he was securely in the office and safe from eavesdropping undergrads and grads. He had his face to the door in the hopes that it would cool him down, but when he got no response from Isaac, he turned around to face an empty office.

“Dammit,” he said, and saw the bright yellow post-it on Isaac’s old Dell. Erica says she’s going to get drinks from somewhere (don’t ask), see you in the lounge at 5:30!! it read, and Stiles sighed. At least he could now successfully drown his sorrows in a drink, even if it wasn’t the green apple cider he had been looking forward to.

At 5:35, he was in the lounge with a non-PBR beer in his hand, and retelling his extremely embarrassing experience to Isaac.

“In conclusion, it is time to die in a ditch,” he said, winding up his story. Isaac just laughed at him, stuck another beer in his hand, and then pushed him towards Erica and Harley who had probably overheard most of Stiles’ sorry story.

“They’re having another argument about what the best model organism is,” he said. “Why don’t you go join in, it’ll make you feel better.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Stiles mumbled, but his heart wasn’t in it. Damn Isaac for knowing him too well. The argument would make him feel better. He drained his beer and went to preach the awesomeness of Drosophila to the plebes who hadn’t seen the light yet.

Two beers later, Stiles was flushed red again, but for a much better reason this time.

“C’mon, Drosophila have such a large suite of genetic tools! Can you even get optogenetic strains in zebrafish? I bet you can’t, they’re just transparent little fish!” he said, waving his pile of peeled off beer labels and scattering the pieces everywhere.

“You don’t even use optogenetic strains!” Erica said, swinging her own bottle of beer around. “That’s an invalid argument!”

“I don’t now, but I might in the future! What if I want to do like, optogenetic strains of gut bacteria—” Stiles said, blatantly making up stuff, and then stopped as his hand smacked against a solid object and dropped even more bits of paper everywhere.

He looked up and gulped. The solid object was Derek’s chest, clad in that Shakespeare shirt, and attached to the rest of his body. Derek, who he’d been avoiding ever since he saw him enter the lounge with Scott (which by extension meant avoiding Scott too, but sacrifices had to be made). Derek, who had seen Stiles make an absolute fool of himself not even an hour ago, and who now had paper bits on his shoes.

“Sorry, uh, hi,” he said, trying his best not to sound like an idiot who had been ranting about zebrafish. He could feel the flush climbing up his cheeks, and not for the first time, cursed his unbelievably pale skin.

“No, I’m sorry – am I interrupting?” Derek said, sounding almost shy. He was holding onto the can of La Croix he was still nursing with a white-knuckled grip.

“Oh, you’re not at all,” Harley’s cheerful, conniving voice chimed in before Stiles could say anything. He turned to her with a betrayed look, in time to see her wink at him and grab Erica’s arm. “You and Erica are both wrong, by the way. Obviously the best model organism is C. elegans. Bow down to the worm, dude. Also, we have to go now, have fun!”

Stiles gaped as she and Erica walked away giggling, abandoning him in his time of need. He was about to chase after them with a half-assed excuse when Derek reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. It felt like a static shock to Stiles’ entire system, but in a good way, and he swung his gaze to Derek’s equally startled face.

“So,” Derek said. “We didn’t really get time to introduce ourselves or talk earlier…”

“Yeah, haha,” Stiles said automatically, manners kicking in. “I’m Stiles, but you already knew that.”

Derek smiled at him without rancor and Stiles’ heart legitimately skipped a beat. “And I’m Derek, but you knew that too. So…” he said again, and trailed off.

Stiles’ tongue felt like it was tied into a hundred knots and he desperately wanted to say something so charming that the conversation would start flowing immediately, or alternatively, a perfectly timed excuse to leave. He caught Scott’s eye over Derek’s shoulder and Scott, the traitor, immediately turned around and started talking to Isaac.

He was so caught up in wallowing in the callousness of everyone around him that he almost missed Derek saying, “…what’s a model organism, really?”

“Oh man,” he blurted out and resisted the urge to smack his mouth shut. “Do you really want to get into this right now?”

“Hit me,” Derek said, and his smile tilted up into a smirk. Stiles grinned back, feeling warmth kindle in his chest, and launched into his love for fruit flies.

One empty can of La Croix and another beer bottle later, they were still talking, the conversation flowing easier and in a much stranger direction than Stiles could have ever imagined.

“Okay, but vampires could totally be real, just think about it,” Derek was saying. “You’re a biologist, you know vampire bats are a thing, why not actual vampires?”

“…fair,” Stiles said. “Plus I guess the whole thing with people drinking other people’s blood to stay young. Humans are a strange species. But I still disagree with you on werewolves. No way could werewolves be a thing – where the hell would all the mass go? Wolves are freaking huge!”

Derek slashed his hand through the air in a dismissive gesture, but Stiles saw the smile twinkling in his eyes. “Just attribute it to the magic! You can buy into the shapeshifting concept but you draw a line at conservation of mass?”

“Shapeshifting is fine if you’re still the same mass afterwards, so humans could turn into like, I don’t know, a giant were-sun bear. I would be totally fine with that!”

Derek snorted, and then started chuckling outright. “Sorry I just – a giant were-sun bear? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The warmth in Stiles’ chest, that had been growing through the entire conversation, sparked up even more at the sound of Derek’s genuine laughter. He stared, grinning like an idiot, and as Derek’s laughter calmed down, they both just looked at each other, smiles in their eyes and on their mouths.

A careful cough finally tore their gazes away from each other. Scott gave them a sheepish look.

“I didn’t want to interrupt, but it’s almost 8,” he said, and Stiles’ eyes widened. He surreptitiously checked his phone and yup, Scott was right, it was a quarter to 8. He’d been talking to Derek for nearly two hours. “Maybe you guys should….go somewhere else?”

He grinned at Stiles, mischief in his eyes, and Stiles tried his best to not roll his eyes back. Scott was a bro but he was also not subtle.

“There’s this Thai restaurant I really like,” Derek said, reaching out to get Stiles’ attention back. The same jolt of energy ran through both of them at the contact, leaving Stiles mildly breathless again, and he looked up into Derek’s hopeful eyes. “We could continue this there?”

Stiles smiled, and said, “Hell yeah, dude. I still have to convert you to the fruit fly side, after all.”

Derek beamed. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. I still have to convert you to the werewolf side, too.”

Stiles laughed, and grabbed Derek’s hand impulsively, pulling him to the exit. Scott gave him a huge thumbs-up (that Derek definitely saw) but Stiles just smiled again, his chest warm and light, and let himself soak in the way Derek easily followed him.

[darkhymns-fic]

New Year, New Rules

Rita is too engrossed in her work to even think about the celebrations happening just outside her walls. But Estelle comes in to remind her with the help of a new friend.

It -is- the Year of the Rat, after all.

Fandom: Tales of Vesperia Characters/Pairing: Rita Mordio/Estellise Sidos Heurassein Rating: PG Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: A New Year’s fic written for @taco-night-frenzy​. I had to get this down before it got away from me. Love you!!!

--

Another noise outside, something like crackling or thunder. It rumbled through the castle floors, made the chemistry vials on their racks shake. Rita sighed in exasperation. How annoying. Her weather instruments hadn’t told her there would be a storm in the Imperial Capital tonight. Maybe a war had suddenly started. That wasn’t her concern though. She kept the curtains shut and continued in her work.

Rita usually didn't tolerate interruptions. The few who visited her had to learn quickly on what things were even allowed in her research lab. First off, Karol was completely off-limits in any capacity. He could stand at the door if he really wanted to, but one step too close to her vials and she would leap from her chair and smack him right out into the hallway. Karol eventually learned of this very important rule. Just because she was staying at Zaphias Castle for the time being didn’t mean that everyone could just waltz in whenever they pleased.

Yuri at least understood. He took one look at her door, shrugged and waved, and was already on his way. Flynn would pass by with his curious glances, until Rita got a little sick of it and slammed the door in his face. Not like he could arrest her for being rude, despite how much he probably wanted to.

The only exception was Estelle, who would always politely knock and ask to be invited in before doing anything else.

As Rita was smoothing over some papers to read over her latest research, she heard that same knock. She didn’t bristle or flinch at the sound – she could tell when it was Estelle or one of the annoying castle guards by their knocks. One was heavy-handed, clearly didn’t care what dangerous chemicals she was handling, while the other was as quiet as a mouse. Maybe there was some slight annoyance that she had to strain her ears to even hear it sometimes.

“Come in,” she said automatically, not even turning around or waiting for Estelle to call out to her. Maybe she had missed tea time? She only dimly realized that the hour was getting late.

“Rita, I’m glad you’re awake.” There were soft footsteps, followed by the click of the door. “Oh, are you still working?”

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” Rita cared for the girl, but sometimes she did wonder at Estelle’s questions that called for such obvious answers. “It’s the new formula I was telling you about… Besides, I can’t even sleep if I wanted to. There’s such a loud racket outside! I thought this place had like a royal curfew or something.”

A brief glance back and she caught the gleam of Estelle’s clothes – white interlaced with the pink hem of her dress. The princess had come by to see her a lot ever since Rita finally took up Estelle’s offer to stay in the castle. A large room to conduct her experiments in, free meals when she would remember to leave said room to go and eat, and those visits from Estelle, accompanied by sweet-tasting tea and cookies that always seemed to be freshly baked.

But Estelle hadn’t brought in any tea or cookies, though it appeared that she was holding something in her cupped hands. “Rita, do you not know what day it is today?”

“Um…” Rita scrunched her eyebrows, her brain too muddled with equations and chemical names to remember something as mundane as the date. “Isn’t it the last week of Bluerre? No, wait, that’s the old calendar system…”

“Rita! It’s New Year’s Eve! Don’t tell me you forgot!” Estelle rushed up in front of her, bouncing on her toes so much that her hair bounced along with her. “The noises outside are the fireworks! I was coming by to ask if you wanted to celebrate it with me.”

Rita blinked. “Oh, is that all it was?” Outside where there were crowds, and people shouting, and so much noise that she could barely think? She waved it off. “Not really in the mood for it. I’m in the middle of stuff anyway so you can just… Estelle, what’s that in your hands?”

It seemed as if Estelle had just been waiting for the chance to tell Rita all about it. Biting her lip in excitement, she held out her hands towards the other girl. "It's the year of the mouse, Rita! See? Look how adorable he is."

For indeed, she was holding a small animal in her hands. It was busy eating one of those shortbread cookies that Estelle would always bring to tea time, its pink tail swishing behind them as they nibbled quite furiously on the snack. It looked kind of weird though…

“Mice are such clever little animals, you know. They remind me of you a lot!” Estelle smiled brightly, looking as if she was in heaven by holding the animal. “I found this one in my room. A cat was trying to eat the poor thing but I was able to save him in time. I think it’s a sign of good fortune! This year will definitely be a good one now!”

Rita, only half-listening to Estelle’s musings, had been staring at the animal the entire time. She raised her eyes, her face expressionless. "...That's a rat, Estelle."

The fireworks continued to shake the sky outside. Only now did their light seep through the curtains, lighting up the stone floors. A mix of red and green, of sapphire and gold, and so many more to usher in the new year.

Neither of the women paid attention. Estelle stared wordlessly before turning back to the animal, still eating the cookie without a care in the world. "Hm? Oh no, he’s a mouse! Look, he’s got these round ears and-"

"It's a rat, Estelle! And not even a regular rat! That’s a monster rat! A Ratwigle!” Okay, that had come out a bit louder than she meant it to, but a weird panic was gripping her by seeing this…creature so close to her instruments, to her notes, to her chemicals and everything. “It's also the year of the rat! There’s no ‘mouse’ anything!" A pause. "You brought a Ratwigle into my research lab! Estelle, I have rules for that!"

Of course, she had just kept yelling like an idiot. Estelle made no visible reaction, already used to Rita’s random outbursts. But the mouse (Ratwigle?!) wasn’t.

It had jumped at the shouting, instinct soon taking over. It bounced out of Estelle’s hands to jump right onto the floor and then continued to bounce and roll underneath the tables with all its precious vials and papers. Because it was a Ratwigle. Maybe a baby Ratwigle even?

Rita screeched. "Get it away get it away!" She knew she should have gotten one of the city cats in here!

“Rita! Calm down! I can call him back, don’t worry!” But the princess’ calm tone could barely be heard over the fireworks that only seemed to get even louder. Were they setting them off in the next room? Rita could barely hear herself think, but she could see all too well the little rat rolling across the floor like a ball.  

Some of her notes and books had been left on the floor as well – the way she researched had never been the most organized but it had never really mattered that much before. Seeing the rat make its way to one book, Rita visibly recoiled at the sight. “Don’t touch that!”

“Rita! Hold on! Here, it’s okay, little mousey. Come here, it’s okay!”

“Don’t let it poop on my research!” Rita held out her hand, fingers thrumming. “Fire ball!!”

“Rita, no!”

--

In the end, there were only a few scorch marks on the stone floors, and only one research paper singed. All in all, things had lucked out well enough. Except that rat was still very much alive.

Rita was seated within a far corner of her lab as Estellle finally coaxed the animal back to her with another cookie. A big waste of food, if Rita was concerned.

“I have him now, Rita,” she said, holding the creature within her palms. “Are…are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?!” Rita snapped, before biting her lip. She thought she had gotten better control of her temper by now. “Sorry…just, keep that thing away from me.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea you were afraid of mice.” Estelle patted its white fur, so gently that her fingers only ghosted across its back. “I just wanted it to be a fun surprise.”

“I don’t like pests, that’s all. I’m not afraid of them!” At least, she mostly wasn’t. If she had seen that thing out in the streets, then whatever. But not in her lab, with all of her precious materials (which she had nearly burned up, but that wasn’t the point). “Just, it could be crawling with diseases, you know! Did it bite you? You need to tell me these things!”

“Oh, he hasn’t bit me at all! He’s so friendly. I was thinking of keeping him, in case he has no other family.”

Only then did Rita notice something in the way Estelle talked about the rat. “You keep calling that thing a ‘he?’ How do you even know that it’s a boy?”

“Hm? Oh, well I checked earlier and-”

“Okay, never mind! That’s weird. You’re weird.” Rita pouted, folding her arms as she stayed seated in her corner. Like she could ever understand rats anyway, but here was Estelle, the rat expert. Ratwigle, even.

Estelle, seated with her new Ratwigle friend on the floor, kept looking up at Rita, then back to the animal/monster. The little creature was huddled up and shaking slightly, clearly agitated by previous events. Sort of like a certain person sitting in the corner…

“Would it be okay if I sat next to you?” she asked politely.

Usually, this wasn’t an issue, but Rita eyed the Ratwigle that was between her and the princess. She sighed. “Yeah, just…no sudden movements or anything.”

“Okay!” And like that, Estelle basically skipped to Rita before sitting on her knees before Rita. All while she was holding the Ratwigle precariously in her hands.

Rita stared, a frown on her lips. “You hold that thing like it was your baby or something.” She had said that bluntly, then inwardly winced once hearing it. Great, now she had just compared Estelle to a rat…Ratwigle…

“Ah, you think so? I was thinking how this reminded me of the time we took care of that baby! Remember? We had to feed it and make it go to sleep…” Estelle recalled the memory so brightly that Rita also couldn’t help but think back to it too. “I think this little guy must be very young too. He’s so small!”

Rita kept eyeing the ‘little guy,’ its weird fur and the way it just didn’t have any legs. Wasn’t this from the sewer below? “…Yeah, and we had to change its diaper and everything. And then there was that one time it threw up on me! Ugh, had to wash my shirt like six times.” She looked at the Ratwigle again, on how it was now washing its dark fur with its tongue, no longer as flighty or nervous as before. It seemed to have some trouble bending, since it was shaped like a perfect sphere and all. “At least this thing’s poop would be easier to handle.”

Estelle laughed, shuffling just a bit closer to Rita. “You think so? Maybe you can do the clean-up duty for me.”

“Hey, I never agreed to that!” She glared at the Ratwigle that now acted like everything was all okay, no problem. “It’d just run… roll away from me anyway.”

“Aw, that’s not true, Rita.”

“Estelle, it literally just did exactly that five minutes ago.”

“Well, that’s because you were shouting… When you don’t shout, most animals would be able to warm up to you.”

Rita shrugged, wondering why she was seeking the approval of a baby monster of all things. “Cats are good enough for me.”

But that was a talent of Estelle’s – making friends with anyone so easily, finding the little positives in even the most tactless of things. Rita moved a little closer as well, though she still kept up her pout.

“So, are you actually keeping it?”

“I would like to,” Estelle confessed, looking down at Ratwigle. It snuffled around her palm, apparently content to stay there instead of getting away. “But I’m sure it already has a home. I just wanted to help keep it alive into the new year at least.”

Rita thought on it. “Maybe it is a sign…or something.” Even if she thought omens and fortunes were bogus. “Wait, so you weren’t outside celebrating with everybody?”

Estelle raised her head to Rita. “No. I didn’t see a need to. When I found this little mouse, I thought that maybe… well, never mind. It wasn’t too important anyway. I didn’t mean to get in the way of your work.”

Sometimes, Rita really was an idiot. She groaned. “Dammit… I’m sorry.”

“Huh? But I just came in here and messed up all your research-”

“Gah, let me apologize already! Of course I’d like to spend New Year’s with you! I always like spending time with you!” She huffed, then turned her gaze to the floor. “I just get caught up in stuff and then act stupid about it.”

But she couldn’t even hear the fireworks anymore. Perhaps the celebration was already over and she had made Estelle miss out on something that could have been so fun for her.

The princess had moved so much closer that their knees now touched, and she couldn’t avoid the rat-mouse-whatever it was in-between them anymore. Yeah, it was kinda close… but from this angle, she supposed it looked mildly cute.

“I don’t think I would have had the courage to ask you if it weren’t for my new friend,” Estelle said, her voice soft and shy. “Do you think you can make it up to me then?”

Just relieved that Estelle hadn’t rebuffed her apologies, Rita nodded. “I mean, sure, of course. What is it?”

“Well, on New Year’s Eve, it’s supposed to be customary to kiss someone!” Estelle laughed nervously, her eyes darting around in shyness, but her smile forming. “Usually on the very minute it turns into the new year. It’s supposed to bring good luck, so I thought-”

Rita leaned in to kiss Estelle. She was surrounded by the scent of cherry blossoms, all within the brash aura of chemicals still piping away in their vials, within the ember still scorched onto the stone floors.

She kissed her and felt the softness that melded its way down her chest into her legs, shutting her eyes. It wasn’t long before Estelle pressed back, sounds leaving her throat, whether of surprise or something else, Rita couldn’t really know.

Then, just as quickly, Rita leaned back, turning to the side. She didn’t need to even feel her face to know how red it was. “Sorry that was kinda late, but…tried to make up for it.”

She only flicked her eyes back quickly to catch Estelle’s expression – her cheeks also red, her mouth half-parted, nearly inviting another kiss. Was that what she wanted? Maybe she should try that again, but if Estelle was silent, maybe she hadn’t done a good job…

“Did you use your tongue?” Estelle asked rather bluntly, more curious than accusing.

Rita froze, then stuttered out, “I-I said I was m-making up for it! And…that’s a thing people do!” Right? Wasn’t that a thing people did? Or had Yuri just been messing with her when he suggested her to try that? Dammit, if he did, she was going mess him up later. Actually, what kind of conversation had they been having that he would tell her that anyway?

“Ah, sorry! It was just… a surprise! But, a very nice surprise…” Estelle giggled, pressing both hands to her cheeks. “It really felt so nice. Thank you, Rita. Um, do you think we could…”

At that, Rita was already guessing to her suggestions. She was seated up straight, eyes riveted to Estelle’s lips and remembering how sweet it had been and- Wait a minute.

“Estelle,” she said carefully, looking at the girl’s hands, still pressed to her face. “Where did the rat go?”

“…Eh?”

“The rat, Estelle. The Ratwigle!” She pointed frantically at Estelle’s lap. “Didn’t you just have it a minute ago?”

She felt something shifting in her lap just then. With wide eyes, she looked down.

“Remember to not shout, Rita!” Estelle warned quickly.

And maybe Rita listened to Estelle, staying as calm as she could be and making friends with a rat friend. Or maybe she let all sense leave her and tried to get the rat as far away from her as possible, her artes going a little haywire, her lab getting a little more chaotic with each panicked yell.

It didn’t matter either way. It was a new year, with new rules she would just have to get used to. She could adjust, eventually – as long as Estelle was by her side.

[flannelpunkcalum]

The Devil Wears Kevlar - Part 11

Watch this space - TDWK masterlist coming soon!

okay, so Calum doesn’t get shirtless or anything in this chapter - he doesn’t even show up so i figured i’d at least give you guys the benefit of this picture. anyway this is the penultimate chapter of The Devil Wears Kevlar! Next week is gonna be super action packed so mark your calendars. After that... we’ll just have to see. other news includes trigger warnings: Aspen briefly experiences something akin to a PTSD panic attack, and there are mentions of death of a loved one but honestly they’re not as intense as the other chapters I just thought I’d let you know ANYWAY HAVE FUN I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK

“Mac! Look alive!”

Aspen jerks her head up. Ashton was looking at her across the lab, eyebrows raised. Right. She had been doing - um, she had been working on…

“I’d really like that graph by the end of the day.” Ashton prompts gently.

Right! Graph. Jesus, was that all? It really shouldn’t have taken her this long to begin with. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just having trouble with the statistics. There’s something weird about the indications of significance. I’ll fix it and then it’s all yours.” She says quickly, focusing on the graph in front of her and not just middle distance.

Ashton smiles bittersweetly at her. She can see it out of the corner of her eye. She probably wasn’t supposed to notice that. The thought is surprisingly funny; it’s just one more thing she’s not supposed to see. “Thanks, Mac.” He says before he turns back to his own work.

“Mac” is new. He never called her that before her little, uh, incident. He wouldn’t have let her work on the error bars on her own before, either. He would have come over and fixed them himself and printed it, while he was at it. Unmean but brisk, with no room for weakness.

Was that what she was these days? The team’s weakness?

Aspen taps a little harder on the keyboard. It helps a little.

It’s been a week. A whole week since her untimely dismissal from the great office of Mr. Calum Hood. A little more than that since her cheek had gotten filleted. She was going to get the stitches taken out that evening after work. It was pissing her off that the rest of her wasn’t healing as quickly.

Oh. She blinks at the screen. Turns out the statistics were an easy fix. She hits print and takes the tiny commute to the printer before handing it to Ashton. He smiles at her for it, but his eyes catch on her scar again. Only for a second, but she notices. It happens a lot now, but she still notes it, every time. She can’t help it.  

Personally, she kinda thinks the cut looks rakish. She’s started answering to inquiries about it with “you should see the other guy” and her very best mischievous smile, and people usually act a little more relaxed after that, which is nice. At night when she’s brushing her teeth, though, she finds herself looking at it and wondering if she’s always going to be introducing people to her scar.

Still, it could be worse. Falcone’s never gonna call her his pretty little girl ever again.

He’s in trouble. That’s another thing that’s changed over that week. Falcone’s been indicted for a bunch of charges related to the Sionis and Trident murders, and he’s pleading not guilty but they’ll just see how it all shakes out in court. Her only contact with Calum is emails from his lawyers updating her on what the prosecution needs from her in anticipation of the trial. She can’t believe she’s going to be so stupid as to testify against a mobster, but hey, she has a feeling the night guard is going to be keeping an eye on her for the next few weeks.

It’s funny; she feels paranoid, but it’s not paranoia if it’s true, right? After a few days of anxiously taking taxis everywhere, worrying that the cabby is on Falcone’s payroll, she allows herself the much cheaper danger of walking home. She’s heard a lot more suspicious noises on rooftops lately. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but it’s nice to pretend Calum is looking down at her from above and getting pissed that she’s on her own like that. Maybe if she starts waltzing into crack dens he’ll talk to her again. Maybe she’ll join a Russian roulette team.

Aspen toys with the thought of taking up cliff diving as she settles back down at her desk. The BAMF project is going swimmingly - they decided to use Tencel for the bandages and now she was helping to determine a good formula for the “healing fluid”. She loved doing R&D like this. It was only a mixture of salts and synthetic proteins, but she could make it sound like miracle juice. If she hadn’t been quite so observant that night, she would have been thrilled to be back down in the lab, doing what she loved.

But here she was.

It’s 4:30, and although it’s only a Monday she can still read the atmosphere in the lab. She’s not likely to be needed any more tonight. Plus, she’s gonna run out of mutilation-based sympathy at some point, she might as well use it while she can. “Hey, Ash, is it cool if I head out?” She says, rolling her chair over towards his desk. “I want to get my stitches out and there might be less of a wait if I go now. You know, so I miss the rush of all the people who also get off at 5 and need to get their stitches taken out.”

Ashton chuckles, putting the graph aside for a second. “Will you come in early tomorrow to score the mice?” He says, after a long moment.

Good. That’s good. She’s edging away from pity. “Yeah, sure, whatever you want. I’ll bring you something from the gift shop.” Aspen teases as she walks her chair back to her desk to grab her things.

It will be nice to come in early, anyways. She finds that she misses the half-hour of quiet she used to get before the day began. Being the first in the lab and checking up on the mice, changing their bandages and marking how they’ve healed, sounds really nice right about now. She’s always felt a bit of resonance with those little animals, anyways. She, too, is soft and skittish and just wanting to sleep in a pile of wood shavings.

As she enters the elevator, she lets herself think for the first time that maybe it’s good that Calum didn’t let her join him. It’s a thought that’s been hovering around the edges of her mind for weeks, but only now is it becoming concrete. She thinks she’s tough, sure, but she’s let herself be treated so gently the last few days and she’s starting to think she might miss it. Maybe she’s more delicate than she ever imagined. I mean, if she identifies with a mouse, how’s she gonna stand up to fucking Catwoman? Maybe Calum didn’t try to transfer her out of spite, or a pigheaded desire to protect her. Maybe he just saw something in her, some hairline fractures that would widen into faults under any pressure. Maybe he heard her tell Liam what time he got into the office.

Not that it mattered. She’d never see him again.

She had tried. The day she had been, uh, let go, she had tried to come back at the end of the day. Her excuse was that she wanted to say goodbye to Janet, but she was really hoping to talk to Calum about some of the evidence she had collected and just… make her case properly, she didn’t know. But when she had said hello to Jan, let herself be hugged and fussed over, once that was all out of the way, well… “He doesn’t want you up here.” Janet had told her, glancing at Mr. Hood’s office door. It was closed. Aspen didn’t know if he was in there, if he was listening. “He told me to tell you he was out if you ever came up. I’m really sorry, Aspen, but you know how he gets.”

It had been another blow, then, the kind that left you mercifully numb for a while before it started to hurt. “I understand.” She had managed, finally. “You’re just doing your job. Oh, my god, you’re gonna have so much work now.” And that had been that.

Now she wondered if it had been a test. If she was supposed to march in there and demand he at least let her talk to him, goddamn it, so she didn’t go crazy sitting on all this. But if it was a test, she had failed, and it was no one’s fault but her own.

It was nice outside, but windy, and on her walk to the hospital the breeze picked up her hair and whipped it around her face. She had started wearing it down more, at least while her cut still looked raw and meaty when it wasn’t bandaged up, but it was just getting annoying now. She wasn’t sure why she was even bothering to hide the cut. It wasn’t even that gross now, anyways, and if she could live with it so could that weird guy on the train who had stared at her so long he almost missed his stop.

The waiting room in Gotham General was busy, which shouldn’t have surprised Aspen. Shit went down in this city every single day. Maybe Calum had popped out on his lunch break to break a few arms. The thought of him in that Armani suit busting kneecaps was funny, making her bite her lip as she checked in.

He did that a lot, you know, she’d read an analysis of injuries attributed to the Bat. She was just thankful she had fallen stupid head over heels for a vigilante that practiced non-lethally. It made sense; he had an incredible position of power, and if he used that power to kill people who had been struggling all their lives - like, if he had killed the Joker she would have been cool with it, but the thugs, the kids like Liam… She wouldn’t have been able to stand for that.

She pulled a scientific journal out of her bag and settled in to wait. She wanted something good to bring up at the next lab meeting, put this period of weakness behind her. She had a feeling the efficiency of the collagen synthesis could be improved. They were currently using cultures of mouse fibroblasts to produce it, since using yeast hadn’t worked out, but she had seen some recent research on using insect stomach lining to produce another factor that hadn’t been viable in yeast models, and maybe if they -

Aspen heard a bang, far off, and jumped in her seat. So did the man next to her. Her heart started thumping, and she reminded herself that this wasn’t another incident. She wasn’t in any danger. She could hear yelling, back in the ambulance bays, but this was a hospital. Some people were scary when they were sick. There were people here trained to keep them and her safe. She should know, her grandpa had been dangerous in his last few days in the hospital, he had been a big football player (the shouts were getting louder) and in his last few days, in his last few days he had been so angry and he had to be restrained, she understood it could happen to anyone -

The bay doors were there one moment, and then she saw them bend. Aspen’s rising panic catches in her throat. It was happening again. She stands up, quickly, scrabbling in her jacket pockets for that knife. She had stopped carrying it a few days ago, feeling silly, but now, now - fuck, it really wasn’t there, why hadn’t she kept it - someone huge and hulking ran through the waiting room, yelling, screaming something, and burst through the sliding doors like the glass was just rain. It was over in a second. Aspen stands there, flooded with adrenaline, as a few orderlies and security guards chase after the woman. There are fat drops of blood among the broken glass.

The nurses are saying something to calm the room down. Aspen can’t hear it. Fuck, she had thought - she had really thought, for a second, that shouting, that something was for her. She sits back down. Her journal is all crumpled now.

Fuck.

But she stays. Some people leave, but she stays. She needs to get her stitches out, and anyways there’s nowhere safer when a big beefy thug is on the loose than the place said thug was trying to escape. Right?

Her name gets called soon enough, and she gets to wait a little longer in a little emergency room cubicle until a doctor can come and slip the stitches out of her face. The doctor’s a little shaken, too. She doesn’t make much small talk as she’s cleaning up Aspen’s face with an alcohol wipe. Aspen’s still sweaty and jittery. “I know there’s like doctor-patient confidentiality, but can I ask… is that lady gonna be okay? She just ran through that door like -”

“I’m sure she didn’t feel it.” The doctor says, setting the wipe aside. She’s still focused on Aspen’s face, she won’t look her in the eye for more than a coincidental fraction of a second. “You never saw someone on Venom before?”

“Venom?”

The doctor smiles. Her hands are cold. “You’re new to Gotham, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna have to start learning a little faster.” Aspen says, glancing at the blurry red line that was her scar in her own vision.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m very new.”

“I saw the report from when you got the stitches in. You’re very brave.”

“Thank you.” Aspen says, quickly. She doesn’t want to talk about that, just get the stitches out. “But, uh, what exactly is Venom?”

“‘S a drug. Only really around in Gotham. We’re trying to figure out an effective treatment for - depending on the dose, it can make you feel really strong and euphoric, and if you take enough it just - it has this unbelievable effect on the muscles. It’s incredible.” Aspen feels scissors snip right by her face, cold where they brush her cheek. “And we have no idea how to deal with it. Most people we just hold and put on a saline until they detox, but the ones who have OD’d - it’s hard to restrain them.” Aspen feels the threads loosening under her cheek. “This might hurt a little.”

Aspen white-knuckles the edge of the hospital bed she’s sitting on and holds her breath as the suture thread slips right out from under the skin on her cheek.

“Perfect. No bleeding, even. You took good care of it.” The doctor says, putting the suture aside. Aspen looks at it on the tray. It has a few bits of her face stuck to it, pieces of healing scabs. It looks so small.

As she says thank you and prepares herself to go, the doctor stops her with a look as she’s washing her hands. “The report said you saw the Batman?”

Aspen feels a twinge of pain, and curls a hand into a fist to try and hide it. “Yeah, he, uh, basically saved my life.”

The doctor turns off the tap. Her eyes are shining. Aspen wonders how young she is. “What’s he like?”

“Oh, uh… brisk, I guess.” Aspen blinks. “He didn’t really give me a chance to get my bearings, y’know, he just hauled me up and pulled me out the window. It was all really fast.” It’s different, telling this story to a stranger. She wants to make herself sound braver in it. Make Calum sound kinder. Well, he saved her life, that was kind. Easier, she guesses.

The doc is still looking at her expectantly. Aspen feels a little glow of pride, attaching herself to the Bat like this. She’s never really thought about him this way. “Um… He’s really caring, when you get down to it. When he took me to the squad car the cops had their guns drawn at first because, you know, he’s like a vigilante and all, but it really freaked me out. He got between me and them and made them put their guns down before he let me get in the car. He didn’t have to do that. I know the vigilante thing is kind of controversial, but I think he really is a good guy, you know?” She shrugs, wondering if her little smile gives anything away. That she knows him. That she’s fallen for him before.

“Wow.” Says the doctor. “Yeah, wow. That’s incredible. I’m so glad you’re safe.”

“Yeah, well, me too.” Aspen’s smile is easier, now. It feels different, without her cheek stitched up.

The doctor laughs. Aspen feels charming again, even with the scar. “Yeah, well, the next time you see him, tell him to look into that Venom stuff, alright? We could really use the - what do they call him, the - the world’s greatest detective on this case.”

“I haven’t heard that one before.” Aspen says, taking a step into the hallway.

“Well, it’s what they call him. Have a good night, alright?”

“You too!” Aspen gives a little wave to the doctor, and finds her way back to the emergency room exit. Someone has already swept up most of the glass.

It sticks in her mind as she begins walking to the subway. Someone should tell him. Bring his attention to this. A new street drug without a treatment was a bad thing no matter what, but if it made you strong enough to bend steel - Batman should turn some of his thousands of dollars in funding to that.

World’s greatest fucking detective. He couldn’t detect his way out of a paper bag.

That was mean. Aspen just thought that at him because she was bad. Probably if it was a big paper bag he could manage.

Anyway, it didn’t matter if she should tell him about it or not. Calum Hood had decided never to see her again, and it wasn’t like Batman had an open door policy.

Wait.

The Batman was supposed to be a ghost; you never knew where he was going to be. Except she knew, and the GCPD knew, that at the next major disaster he would be there. And he wasn’t going to ignore her if she showed up there, all cute and vulnerable without a bulletproof vest. He’d see she was serious. He’d see she could take the heat. And he’d see there was even a convenient project for her to work on to keep her cover.

Was she really going to do this?

Aspen took a deep breath. She didn’t have to decide now. If something came up, she’d think about taking that risk.

It was the kind of thing you couldn’t take back.

For the next few nights, Aspen compromised. She listened to the news while she was doing dry lab prep, and turned on all the notifications on her “Gotham News & Alerts” app, but she didn’t, like, start going out and trying to buy Venom right from the source. It gave her time to think. Really, it was bold of her to think he didn’t already have a crack team of biologists - just that he preferred the processing of the GCPD lab so they had it all recorded, maybe. He had to have a real reason for this, other than just... doing this to hurt her. 

She was working on her miracle juice when it happened, with the news on and some 80s pop playing overtop to help her focus. There had been a break-in at an upscale cocktail party, which was good, and a riot at the Arkham Asylum - nothing huge, that happened all the time. Batman probably didn’t get called for those. When the news came through, she almost missed it under her music.

“The small riot at Arkham Asylum-” Ha, Aspen thought, small riot. “-has escalated after Pamela Ivey, a.k.a. Poison Ivy, began to demolish the heritage building. Known for her control over plant life, Ivey has used her abilities to destroy the foundation of the building. No inmates are reported missing, but GCPD are suggesting that all citizens in the area begin evacuation to the city centre. We’ll bring you updates as they come, but for now, we turn to journalist and Gotham history expert -”

Aspen bit her lip and tried not to freak out. Just because it was the first disaster to come along since her painful rejection, that didn’t mean it was time to make her move. What was she going to do during a prison break, anyways? She didn’t know anything about working with psychiatric patients, or overseeing evacuations, or -

“Update now from Arkham Asylum, police efforts to control the plant growth are failing. Experts are now trying to evacuate the Asylum in preparation for controlled burn, but analysts are concerned that moving large groups of inmates might end up just like every other -”

Plants. Jesus Christ, she knew biology. She couldn’t believe it didn’t hit her sooner. Aspen squints at the news report and tries to do some on-the-spot identification. Her pulse was racing. Taxonomy had her pulse racing. She couldn’t believe it. Now she got why Calum did this.

She needs to focus. It looked like… like… It looked like jute. Okay, there was that. She knew the plant. She knew the plant! Fuck, okay, she couldn’t get ahead of herself. Focus. She had read something about jute recently, something as to why it wasn’t bigger as a source of natural fiber… part of it was the water required, part of it was… cold sensitivity. The plants didn’t respond well to cold! That was how they were gonna beat this without burning down a heritage building. Batman had to have something that could do that, right?

Oh my god. She actually had to do this.

Aspen takes a deep breath. She had thought that she would have a choice, when the time came. That she’d be able to weigh her options objectively, and maybe sit this one out if it came to that. But she couldn’t. Her mind was already racing. She’d stick a textbook and a cookie sheet in her backpack, improvise some armor. She should wear black. If they were evacuating inmates, she should plan for the worst, this was Gotham after all. She packed her pocket knife.

As Aspen hustled to the door, she paused with her hand on the knob. She should say goodbye to her roommates. In case -

No. She couldn’t. It might destroy whatever foolhardy courage had gotten her this far.

She would just have to be careful not to die.

[littlepurinsesu]

[IDOLiSH7] DUSK TiLL DAWN (Story Translation 3)

*Note: This is a Chinese-to-English translation using the official Chinese translation from the TW server! There’s a small chance that some phrases may differ slightly from the original Japanese text due to different wording and localisation, but overall there shouldn’t be too much of a difference so probably nothing to worry too much about xD

CHARACTERS: Iori: Io Yamato: Yamarson Mitsuki: Mick Tamaki: Tamathony Sogo: Somas Nagi: Nagistopher Riku: Rictor

(I will include the characters’ names in brackets even if they haven’t revealed their names yet, because it would just be too confusing otherwise. I recommend having the game story open as you read so you get a better feel of the characters’ actions and expressions, since I won’t be indicating them here ^^)   ---

STAGE 3

20:30

Tamathony: If we rush down this path in one breath, we’ll get to the underground subway!

Io: Woah…! There are monsters approaching from behind…!

Mick: Don’t look back! Just run!

Yamarson: Huff, huff…

Somas: That monster really was slow.

Io: What?

Somas: It really had the feel of a zombie, amazing!

Io: What are you still being happy about at a time like this!

<ROAR>

Yamarson: Oi, we’re being surrounded…! What do we do!

Mick: Ah, wait for me for a moment! I’ll bring out the secret weapon now! You guys block your ears…!

<CRASH CRASH CRASH>

<ROAR>

Mick: Okay!

Nagistopher: Mick. Throw it to the enemies here, too.

Mick: Okay, Captain! Ah, oh no, my hand slipped…!

<BAM BAM BAM>

Somas: Wow~! So cool…!

Rictor: S-So amazing… Not only shooting down a grenade, but also hitting the Gathereds…

Mick: That’s our Captain!

Nagistopher: Mick, that’s the seventh time you’ve done that since this term.

Mick: Eh, did I do it that many times…?

Yamarson: Woah! What’s that! Siren head!?

<ROAR>

Io: There’s no end to this…! Just how many are there! Somas, there are monsters over on your side!

Somas: Woah…!

Yamarson: Dammit, we were just a little away from the underground subway, and now I have to fight with this little knife…!

21:00

Io: Huff, huff… We finally managed to get to the underground subway.

Mick: It’s so quiet…

Io: It’s missing the breath of humans, this place makes me feel uncomfortable…

Somas: There’s not only a strange fog, but also lots of dead mice.

Yamarson: Sigh… Are we really going to go through a place like this to get to the lab?

Rictor: Sorry, taking this path is the quickest, and the safest. There’s a hidden passageway up ahead; even among those in the lab, only a small number of people know about it.

Io: Why do you know about this passageway? Didn’t you say you were a basic-level employee?

Rictor: … The doctors told me. People like me who were born in the lab rarely go outside, so they told me so that I could use it in case something happens… The doctors have always treated me well, trying their hardest to make sure I don’t feel lonely.

Mick: You say you were born in the lab, meaning that your parents are those two doctors?

Rictor: No, the doctors are the doctors. I don’t know who my parents are… Woah! Ouch.

Io: A-Are you okay?

Rictor: Mm, I’m okay… It’s too dark, so the view isn’t very clear…

Io: Rather than saying it’s too dark… why not say that it’s because you’re wearing that mask?

Rictor: Eh?

Io: Alright, stand up. It’d be better to take off that mask.

Somas: Eh! He feels really strong and cool wearing that mask, is he going to have to take it off?

Mick: Io is right. Bad vision could be fatal! If you don’t want to become a part of those guys, take it off.

Rictor: … But… is the air here okay?

Mick: Air?

Rictor: It must be really dirty…

Io: He seems to have been taught to wear that antivirus mask whenever he goes outside.

Tamathony: Is that so? Then isn’t it really bad that we aren’t wearing masks?

Mick: Not at all… Seriously, what kind of education did you receive. Rictor, the air here is fine. If there were any problems, we’d all be dead ages ago.

Rictor: Th-That’s true… I understand. Huff… It was so uncomfortable just before.

Mick: What, you’re still just a kid! Are you really a researcher?

Rictor: So mean! I’m a true adult through and through…!

Tamathony: Mick doesn’t really have the right to say that.

Mick: Ah? Did you say something just then?

Tamathony: No~ Ah… hey, we’re gonna continue ahead, right?

<ROAR>

Rictor: Woah!

Yamarson: Oi oi oi, just how many are gonna come…!

Tamathony: There are so~ many. It’s basically peak time.

21:45

<BAM BAM BAM>

…!

<ROAR>

Io, Yamarson, Somas, Rictor: Huff, huff…!

Mick: Just how many are there! You guys, don’t get surrounded!

Nagistopher: Get on the subway tracks!

Tamathony: Hurry up! Run, run!

Yamarson: Urgh…

Somas: Yamarson!!

Yamarson: Huff, huff…

Rictor: …! Just as I thought… you’ve been infected, right?

Somas: Infected…!?

Rictor: Your complexion has been looking pretty bad, and you have symptoms of a fever. And… your eye is already showing early signs of an outbreak…

Io: I-It’s shining…!

Tamathony: Is this for real…

Yamarson: N-No! I haven’t been infected! I…!

<CLICK>

Yamarson: No… please no! Don’t dispose of me!

Rictor: P-Please wait! He hasn’t broken out yet! We can still make it, we can save him if we have the vaccine that the doctors made!

Mick: … But we don’t even know when he’s going to break out!

Rictor: In any case, give him a painkiller first…!

Tamathony: Hey…!

Rictor: Yamarson, please eat this first… This is a new medicine, but I think it’ll work.

Yamarson: Urgh…

Io: Can he really be saved?

Rictor: Yes… As long as we give him the vaccine before he breaks out.

Yamarson: …

Mick: Sigh… Listen carefully, bringing him with us means placing everyone in mortal danger. Do you understand?

Rictor: I-I understand… But, he still has a chance to be saved.

Somas: … Um~

Mick: What is it?

Somas: Sorry, but I thought of a common trope in movies. If we kill our comrade now, it’ll raise a death flag for another person… We all went through so much to make it here, so I think it’ll be better if we get to the end together. If we can save Yamarson, acquire the vaccine, and everyone lives on, then it means we win. It’ll be a happy ending!

Io: You’re saying this kind of stuff again! I told you we aren’t filming a movie!

Somas: But…

Io: There’s never a good outcome when I listen to you, I’ve lost count of how many times…!

Somas: I-Is that so…?

Io: Did you forget? Something happened when we were in middle school…

Somas: Woah! Do you have to mention that thing now!?

Io: Anyway! You always act on a whim, never considering the outcome! … But…

Somas: …?

Io: If possible, I also hope we can all live on together!

Somas: Io…!

Tamathony: Hey~ Are you guys done yet~

Somas: Ah… sorry.

Mick: Captain! … Ah, it seems that there’s no need to ask, you’ve already made your decision, right.

Nagistopher: Yes, it’ll be fine as long as we keep a close eye on him during the journey, simple as that. Let’s hurry up and keep moving.

Mick, Tamathony: Understood!

<ROAR>

Rictor: !?

Io: What is it this time!?

Somas: So loud… Is it the roar of something…?

Mick: Something’s coming…! Everyone prepare for battle!

<CLICK>

<ROAR>

22:30

<ROAR>

<BAM BAM BAM>

Tamathony: Oi~ What’s up with this guy, he’s super strong~!

Io: My arrows are getting absorbed…!

Tamathony: It’s so hard to grasp whether its body is hard or soft!

Mick: Anyway, just take it on!

<BAM BAM BAM>

Rictor: I-It’s no use!

Yamarson: It’s can’t be…

<ROAR>

Somas, Rictor: Woah!

Io: Somas! Rictor!

<ROAR>

Tamathony: If we keep this up, more and more of them will gather!

<BAM BAM BAM>

Yamarson: Urgh…!

Rictor: Yamarson!

<BAM BAM BAM>

Nagistopher: Tamathony.

Tamathony: What~ Captain! I’m a little busy at the moment.

Nagistopher: You take everyone to the institute.

Tamathony: What!?

Mick: We’ll be wasting too much time if we’re all stalled here!

Tamathony: But, will you two be okay!

Mick: Please, did you forget who we are!

Tamathony: … Got it!

Nagistopher: We leave it to you over there.

Tamathony: Mm! Leave it to me!

Mick: We’ll be depending on you! We’ll catch up very soon!

Io: … I’ll stay behind too.

Somas: Io! What are you saying…

Io: It’s not like me to continue receiving help one-sidedly.

Somas: That may be true, but it’s really dangerous! It’s not like you to be so reckless!

Io: I’m very calm. Also…!

<SHOOT>

<ROAR>

Io: I can cover for them from afar!

Somas: But…!

Mick: You’re pretty good, huh! Alright, then Captain and I will fight that big one. We’ll leave the surrounding Gathereds to you!

Io: Alright! I understand!

Somas: Io!

Io: Did you forget about my skills!?

Somas: … Of course I didn’t forget… You took three consecutive wins in the World Archery Championships’ Junior Division! Right!

Io: That’s right! Having me go against those weak ones is way too easy!

Somas: … I understand. But don’t push yourself too hard!

Io: That’s my line. Leave this place to us, you guys quickly go ahead!

Tamathony: Why is he giving instructions.

Somas: Io is the student council president! So cool, right!

Tamathony: Then, Captain~! We’ll go on ahead~ Mick, don’t die~

Mick: I’m not gonna die!

Nagistopher: Alright, let’s clean up these guys.

<ROAR>

<BAM BAM BAM>

Nagistopher: Your opponent is here.

Mick: I’m already gearing up…!

---

Stage 1  |  Stage 2  |  STAGE 3  |  Stage 4  |  Stage 5

---

Follow me on Twitter for more IDOLiSH7 fangirling! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

[tiny-opal-essence]

Pocket Paladin Chpt 10

A little help from friends

It was quiet in the library except for the occasional rustle of pages.  The space mice were working on reading one book while Lance was working on another.  Allura was scrolling through the digital library for anything that could help Lance’s situation.

“I’m glad Pidge made this translator, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to read any of this,” Lance commented as he walked across the pages of the open book to read the translated text projected onto them.

“You could always try to learn.  Learning another language is quite fun.”  Allura scrolled to the next article.

“I’m already bi-” in both ways, “-so I know all about that.”

“Bi?”

“Bilingual.” and bisexual.  “English is actually my second language.  Spanish is my first.  Most of my family is bilingual, except for mis abuelos.”

“Mis abuelos?”

“My grandparents.  Sorry, I usually refer to them in Spanish cause that’s the only language they speak.”

“I think that’s lovely.  How would you say father in Spanish?”

“Papá.”

“Mis papa would have loved to learn this language.”

Lance started snickering slightly.

“Did I say something wrong?” Allura asked.

“Kind of.  You said my potato instead of dad.”

“Oh.  What’s a potato?”

“It’s a type of food on earth.  Best in fry form.  Don’t worry, saying potato instead of dad is a common beginner’s mistake.  You just have to put a bit more emphasis on the end of the word.  And since papá is singular, you would say mi, not mis.”

“Alright.  Mi papá.”

“There you go!”

“Perhaps we could add your language to the library.  I would love to learn more.”

“Sure.  I could be your pocket tutor.”

Allura smiled at that.  “I’m sure you’d be an excellent teacher.”  She started reading the next text on the datapad.

Lance had reached the end of the page he was on and stepped off of the book.  He grabbed the bottom corner of the page and started walking left while turning the page.  It was heavier than he would have thought, but that was the case with a lot of things now that he was slightly more than 3” tall.  He climbed up the translator and jumped on the button to scan the open pages.

“Hey, Allura.” He said as he climbed back down to the pages of the book.

“Hmmm.” Allura looked over at him.

“What do you think Hunk and Pidge are working on?”

“I don’t know.  Why do you ask?”

“They wouldn’t let me in the lab to help or even provide fun commentary.”

“I’m sure there’s a reason.  It’s probably something that would be too dangerous to work on with someone your size nearby.”

“I guess.” Lance dejectedly responded.

But they let Chuchule in to help them.  Why would they let her help and not me?  I can be helpful too.

‘Clearly, Chuchule is more helpful than you.  With you in there it would be too many cooks in the kitchen, though you can’t really do too much but sit there.’

I just hate feeling left out of the loop.  Hunk almost always let me watch him work on stuff.  It’s a lot more exciting than reading these old books.

‘Get used to it.  Your situation isn’t about to change for the better.’

Lance looked over to the space mice and saw that Platt had fallen asleep next to their book while Chulatt and Plachule were each reading different sections.

“Are you able to see what the space mice are dreaming with your whole psychic link thing?”

“Oh, no.  When they’re sleeping, their minds are closed to me.  I can only connect with them when they are awake and within a certain distance.”

“What distance is that?”

“You know, I actually don’t know.  The furthest I’ve done it from successfully is just outside the particle barrier and there was just a hint of static then.  There’s never been much need to do it any further than that.”

“Cool.”

Allura tried to stifle a *yawn*, but was unsuccessful.

“Sorry.  I had another late night last night.”

“Allura, are you getting enough sleep?”

“I’m fine.  There are just so many books to go through to see what can be done about your situation.  If there’s some way to help you. I want to find it as soon as possible.”

“Please don’t forget to take care of yourself too, Princess.”

“Don’t worry about me.  It takes more than a little tiredness for me to be down for the count.”

She’s working herself to the bone.

‘Your fault.’

Shut up!

‘Tu culpa, tu culpa, tu culpa.’

I said shut up!

Before the sing-song voice in his head could continue, there was a knock at the door.

“Princess?”

“Yes, Coran?”

“Oh good, you’re there.  Is Lance with you?”

“Yep!  I’m right here!”

“Perfect!” Coran entered the library.  “I believe I found something that might make you feel more comfortable until you’re back to normal.”

“Really?  What is it?” Lance was curious to know.

“I’ve got it set up in Keith’s room.  The others are waiting for you right now.”

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting.”  Allura put her hands down in front of Lance and the three space mice that were with them.  Chulatt and Plachule had to poke Platt to wake him up before they all climbed into Allura’s hands.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I was cleaning out some of the old storage rooms and I found some things that I believe will help make Lance’s time at this height more pleasant.”

Everyone looked at the sheet-covered object on Keith’s nightstand.

“Don’t leave us hanging, Coran.  What is it?” Lance exclaimed.

“How could I leave you hanging when you aren’t even hanging in the first place?”

“It’s an earth phrase.  It means don’t leave us in suspense.” Shiro explained.

“Ah.  Good to know.  Anyways, without further ado,” Coran removed the sheet with dramatic fashion.

“My old dollhouse!  I thought father had gotten rid of this.”  Allura had a nostalgic look in her eyes as she looked at the miniature model of the castleship.

“He thought it would be good to hang onto it for your children down the road.”

“Does it still work?” She asked.

“After 10,000 years?  Of course it does.  Altean technology is second to none.”

“What do you mean ‘work’?” Pidge asked.

“Watch this.”  Coran opened up the dollhouse and everyone saw how detailed it was on the inside.  The rooms were almost perfect miniatures of the ones in the castleship.  Coran reached behind the dollhouse and flipped a switch, causing lights to turn on in some of the rooms.

“Wow!” Lance exclaimed.

“Woah,” Keith said.

“Each room has a working light switch in it, so you can have just the rooms in use be lit.” Coran reached into the dollhouse and demonstrated this.  “Alfor spared no expense on this.”

“Like in Jurassic Park.” Hunk commented.

“Huh?”

“Oh, it’s this old earth movie that has one character keep saying that he ‘spared no expense.’  Do you have it on your laptop, Pidge?”

“Nope.  Sorry, Hunk.”

“I also found some of the furniture that goes with it, so Lance won’t have to sit on the table for meals.  I do believe these are close to the right scale for you, my boy.” Coran gestured to the dollhouse table and chairs that he had set up.

“One way to find out,”  Lance said as Allura lowered him down to the nightstand.

The amount of detail in the dollhouse was even more impressive up close.  Lance had almost expected to find some sort of mark or scratch that the others didn’t see but it was a perfect copy of the castleship.  He took a seat at the table and found that it was the correct scale for him, albeit not as comfy as the cushion on the chair made it look.

Though, in their defense, they probably never thought someone would actually sit on the chairs.

Lance looked at the table and saw that there were plastic dishes and utensils.

The fork and knife aren’t that useful, since they’re plastic and dull, but the spoon could be.  And there’s finally a cup that I can use!

“This is great, Coran.  Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, number 5.”

Yeah, still not a fan of the switched numbers.

‘It’s not that big of a deal, though I guess you aren’t either.’

You’re not that big of a deal!

‘I’m a part of you, so that means you just called yourself that.’

“I can bring the table, chairs, and accessories to the kitchen, since that’s where they’ll be used.” Hunk offered.

“Good idea, big guy.” Lance stood up off of his chair.  He continued to look around the room of the dollhouse and walked towards the light switch.  It was the only thing that stood out as being ‘off’ about the scaling of the room.

I guess they had to make it big enough so someone could actually flip the switch.

Lance grabbed the switch with both hands and pulled it down.

“I’m going to build some muscles doing this.” He joked out loud as the light in the dollhouse kitchen was turned off.  He pushed the switch back up.  “Are there any other cool things it can do?”

“Uh, no.  That’s it.” Coran said.  “I’m going to see if I can find more of the furniture for it.  I already found a bed and a desk.  I’m sure I can find some more, but things have gotten all sorts of boggled up in the storage rooms.”

“Do you know if my dolls were saved as well?” Allura asked.

“I believe they were, Princess.”

“Maybe one of them could be Lance’s girlfriend.” Hunk joked.

“I hear Polly Pocket’s single.” Pidge snickered at her addition.

“Haha, very funny guys,” Lance said sarcastically.

“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Shiro used his Space-dad voice once more, though it was obvious he was trying to hide a smile at their joke.  “We’ve all got important things to get back to.”

More important than helping me?

‘Definitely.’

“Awww.  I’m sick of reading.  Can’t I hang out with you, Hunk?”

“Sorry, Lance, but…what we’re working on is a very delicate and dangerous thing.” Hunk explained.

“We only have one mask that would fit you, and we need Chuchule’s help, so she gets it,” Pidge added on.

“I know.” Lance *sighed*.  “My mind’s just getting foggy with all the words.”

“Why don’t you come with me and Keith to the training deck?” Shiro suggested.

“Thanks, but no thanks.  Don’t you remember what happened last time I was in there?  I was almost shish kabobed by the gladiator-bot!”

“No gladiator-bot this time.  Keith told me that when you rescued me, your bayard turned into a longsword.  He said it was pretty cool.”

My crush called me cool?!

“I didn’t say it was cool.” Keith looked away from the group.

Never mind.

“Alright, fine.  But you did say that Lance had room for improvement.  And who better to teach him than you, Keith?”

“I can think of several people.  Allu-” Keith was cut off by Shiro.

“All of which are back on earth, leaving you as the best person to teach him.”

Shiro and Keith had a silent conversation before Keith gave in.

“Fine.  I’ll teach you, Lance.”

“Sweet!  But what am I going to use for a sword?  My bayard didn’t shrink with me.”

“I got some of those plastic sandwich swords at the earth store.  You could use one of them.  I’ll show you where they are in the kitchen.”

Plachule let out a *squeak* from Allura’s shoulder.

“Do you want to come train too, Plachule?” Lance asked.

Plachule nodded.

“The more the merrier,” Shiro said.

Keith put his hand down in front of Lance and lifted him up to his shoulder before doing the same with Plachule.  Hunk grabbed the dollhouse table and chairs and joined Keith and Shiro as they headed to the kitchen to get the plastic swords.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Keith and Shiro’s silent conversation from the previous section.  They don’t know word for word what the other is thinking, but they get the gist.  Sorry for the interruption.)

If Lance found out I called him cool, he would never let me hear the end of it.  Keith looked away from the group.

So you’re not quite ready to admit what you said, that’s ok.  Doesn’t mean I can’t orchestrate a scenario for the two of you to hang out together.  Shiro smiled knowingly.

Shiro, why would you say that?  I’d be a terrible teacher.

You’ll be fine, Keith.  You always did well in HEMA.

Sure, I was good at HEMA, but teaching?  Why did you cut me off before I could say Allura would be a better teacher?  She has more experience than me.  What if I do something wrong and Lance hates me?  I don’t want to risk our friendship.

I’m sure you think that Allura would be a great teacher.  You’re right, but for all the things I love about her, she doesn’t always listen to others when she should.  She might push Lance too far.  You wouldn’t.  Besides, you and Lance have been getting closer lately.

I think you’re taking this ‘building bridges’ thing too far.

If you think I’m taking ‘building bridges’ too far, I think I haven’t taken it far enough.

I can’t believe you’re making me do this.

“Fine.  I’ll teach you, Lance.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, what do I get to learn first?” Lance and Plachule were on the raised section of the room.  “Stab?  Slish slash?”  He swung the plastic sword around in the air with a dramatic fashion before Keith nudged him with his finger, causing him to stumble.  “Hey!  Rude.”

“First, you need to work on your stance.  If I can knock you over with hardly any effort, it means you don’t have a strong stance.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just push me over on purpose?”

“Tempting as that is, no.  You need to learn how to defend yourself with a sword.  It’s different than a gun.”

“Swords are different than guns?  Who knew?” Sarcasm was evident in Lance’s voice.

“Lance.” Shiro glared slightly at Lance.

“Ok, I’ll take this seriously.”

“Anyways, to do that, you need a strong foundation.  Then you can ‘slish slash’ to your heart’s content.  But for now, you’re not going to be using the sword.”

“Awww.  But that’s the fun part about sword fighting!”

“You’ll get to use it later,”  Keith said.

“So how do I get this ‘strong foundation’ anyway?”

“You start with your stance.  Stand in front of Plachule.”

“Ok.” Lance and Plachule stood facing each other.  “Now what?”

“Uh, both of you put your hands palms out and touch the other’s like this.” Keith and Shiro demonstrated.  “And have your feet be shoulder-width apart and put your left foot forward and your right one back.”

“Like this?”

Keith stepped away from Shiro and towards Lance.  “Your front foot should be pointing straight ahead while your back foot is pointing 45° off of that.”

“Ok.” Lance and Plachule adjusted their footing.  “Is this better?”

“Yes.” Keith and Shiro got back in position.  “Now, keep your back straight and press against the other person’s-”

*squeak*

“-or space mouse’s hands.  If your stances are good, neither of you will fall.”

“Ooof.”  Lance fell backward.

Plachule gave him a hand to stand back up.

“So, what does that mean?” Lance asked.

“That means that your stance wasn’t good,” Keith answered.

“Try having your feet be further apart.  It takes some time to find the right balance.” Shiro suggested.

Lance took his advice and tried again.  He could feel that Plachule pushing against his hands, but neither of them fell.

“Yes!  I did it!” Lance pumped his hands in the air a few times.  “Can I please learn some actual sword fighting now?”

“Not yet.  There’s still a few more things you have to learn first.”

“Like what?”

“Like footwork.”

“That seems easy enough.”

“There’s three main types of footwork in longsword.  I can’t remember the technical names for them all, but they’re pretty simple.”  Keith stood in his stance.  “The first one is just shuffling forwards and backward like this.”  He demonstrated, moving only slightly forwards and backward and keeping the same foot in front.

“Can do.” Lance and Plachule copied him.

“It helps if you imagine there’s a line on the floor that you’re moving along,”  Shiro recommended.

“Make your steps a bit smaller,” Keith said.

“I think my steps are already small enough given current circumstances.” Lance still adjusted them.

“Now, try doing that while pushing each other in the stance,” Keith spoke after a minute.

Lance and Plachule did just that.

“You should be able to feel what the other person is going to do.”

“How does that make any sense?  I can’t read Plachule’s mind, and he can’t read mine.  Can you?”  Lance asked Plachule who shook his head and *squeaked* to say that he couldn’t.

“You need to pay attention to the slightest shift in muscles.  They will tell you everything you need to know.”

“That’s a lot to think about.”

“Then don’t think.”

“Huh?”

“Thinking slows you down and gives your opponent all the time they need to take you down.  You have to trust your body to know what to do.”

“Is that why you always run into a fight like a crazy person?” Lance teased Keith.

“Lance, focus,” Shiro said.

“Ok, Space-dad.”  Lance found that Keith was right about feeling what Plachule was going to do next.  It was kind of strange.  They worked on that for a few minutes before Keith moved on to the second type of footwork.

“The next one you kind of pivot on one foot.”  Keith demonstrated.  “Make sure you keep your guard up.”

“Try to keep as straight as you can,” Shiro said.

“I make no promises.” Lance laughed to himself.

Get it?  Cause I’m bi?

‘How many times have you used something along those lines?’

Shhh.  I’m hilarious.

Lance and Plachule started trying to mimic Keith.

Right.  Left.  Right.  Left.

“You need to keep your guard up, Lance.”  Keith continued as he gently nudged Lance’s arm up into the right position with his finger.

Lance’s breath caught in his throat and he had to try to resist the urge to blush.

‘Calmate, lover boy.  This isn’t a rom-com.  Why get all flustered over someone you know would never feel the same?’

I know, I know.

Lance was still amazed at how gentle Keith was able to be with him while he was stuck at this height.

For someone so aggressive, he’s actually pretty soft.  I mean, he’ll still go from 0 to ‘Ok it’s murder then’ in less than a second, but…yeah.  He’s really caring under all that aggression.

Lance and Plachule once more held their palms together and continued to practice the movement.

“This is almost like dancing,” Lance commented with a smile.

“Yeah, it is.”  Keith had a small smile on his face.  “Except here you want to mess with the tempo to get your opponent to mess up so you can take them down.”

“Why couldn’t it just be a dance-off?  That would be a fun way to do things.”

“Not when you have two left feet like Keith here.”

“Shiro!  You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“I said I wouldn’t tell anyone at the Garrison.” Shiro corrected.

“He’s got you there, Keith.”

“Ugggh.”  Keith looked up at the ceiling.

“Don’t worry.  Once I’m back to normal, I can teach you.  Think of it as me paying you back for teaching me sword fighting.”

Oh my God, why would I say that?  That just makes me sound desperate.  What if he says no?  What if he says yes?  Is that making it too obvious that I have a crush on him?  He can never know!

“Ok,” Keith responded.

“Wait, really?”

“Are you taking back your offer?”

“No, just surprised you agreed.”

“Good luck teaching this one,” Shiro said.

“I’m not that bad a student.”  Keith punched him lightly in the shoulder.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Can we focus back on sword fighting?  I want to actually use a sword today.”  Lance yelled up at them with Plachule *squeaking* in agreement.

Never thought I’d be the one to tell them to focus.

“Alright.  For the last move, you step to the side with your front foot and pivot on it to strike your opponent in the head from the side, like this.” Keith once again showed how to do the move, ending with fake stabbing the air to the side of him.

Plachule and Lance worked on doing just that for a few minutes, with both Keith and Shiro providing guidance.

“Ok, we’ve done the footwork, can we PLEASE use our swords now?”

“Sure.”

“Finally!” Lance and Plachule grabbed their plastic swords.  “En garde!”

“You’re not holding it right,” Keith said.

“What do you mean?  I’m holding it by the handle.  How else would you hold a sword?”

“First of all, it’s called the hilt, not the handle.  Second, even though this technically isn’t a longsword, you should still be practicing with it like it is.  Meaning, two hands on the hilt.  Act like you’re shaking hands with the sword and your grip should be good.”

Lance took Keith’s advice.  “There.  Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Keith said with a straight face.  “Now, I’m going to teach you the four circles drill.  It’s a good way to start getting a feel for the blade.”

Keith’s bayard turned into a longsword, but before he could start showing Lance and Plachule the drill, the comms *crackled* overhead.

“Could everyone come to the lab, please?  We’ve got something to show you.” Hunk said.

“You heard him, let’s go.” Shiro started for the door.

“Awww.  But we were going to learn the circle thing!”

“I can always show you later.  This sounds important.” Keith reached down so Lance and Plachule could climb onto his hand.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, you’re probably wondering what me and Pidge were working on today and why all the secrecy around it.  Well, like Coran, we wanted to do something that would help make Lance more comfortable while he’s like this.  We wanted to surprise you and heard you say that you were kind of sick of all the manhandling, so we came up with a potential solution.”  Hunk and Pidge both stepped to the side and the others saw what was resting on the workbench.

“A floating tray?” Lance was a little confused.

“Not just any floating tray, one that will let you open the majority of the doors in the castleship.”  Pidge pointed to the tiny console that had been built onto the tray.  “It took some engineering, but when you’re in close enough range to a door you have access to say, the door to the kitchen, and press this button, the door will open for you.  You can steer with this joystick and this button here will move the tray between resting on a surface and hovering at its normal height.”

“You made this for me?”

“And the space mice.  They’ll get to enjoy it once you’re back to normal.” Hunk added.  “We put a small force field around the edges so you don’t fall off while it’s floating.  That’s part of the reason we needed Chuchule with us.  She was our tester, since you’re roughly the same size right now.  Do you want to try it?”

“Yes!” Lance exclaimed as Keith helped him down to the surface of the workbench.  He quickly climbed onto the tray and pushed the hover button.  The tray lifted up at a good pace allowing him to adjust to the elevator like sensation.

“It took a few tries to get the speed of the accent and the fluidity of the turns right.  Sorry about the bad fur day, Chuchule.”

Chuchule *squeaked* in response to Pidge’s apology while trying to pat her fur back down flat.

“She says that it’s quite all right.  She’s happy to help out a friend.” Allura translated.

Lance used the joystick to move the tray around the room. It was nice to have some independence back.

“I thought we agreed that someone would always have to be with Lance while he’s like this?” Shiro said.

“We did agree to that, but we didn’t say that someone had to be carrying Lance at all times.” Pidge pointed out the technicality.  “I put a tracker in the console so we can see where he is at any time.  I think we can let Lance get around on his own like this, don’t you?”

“Makes sense to me.” Keith shrugged.

The others all agreed.

“As long as you wear your helmet,” Allura added one condition to Lance’s newfound independence.

As long as there was a tracker on the device and in Lance’s helmet, they would know where Lance was, so they could let him get around without needing an escort.

“Do you like it, Lance?” Hunk wondered.

“I love it.  This is great.” Lance responded.

“Any suggestions for improvements?” Hunk asked.

“Maybe a chair or something?  If I’m going from one end of the castleship to the other, that’s a long way to be standing for.”

“We could use one of the chairs from the dollhouse.” Hunk suggested.

“Good idea,” Pidge said.  “We can work on that later, though.  Looks like you’ve got a few friends who want a ride.”

The space mice looked at the tray with a pleading look in their eyes.

“Well, how can I say no to those faces?” Lance said as he pushed the button to get the floating tray to rest back down on the workbench so the mice could climb on.  “Race you to the kitchen, Hunk!”

“That’s not fair!  You got a head start!” Hunk raced after the floating tray.

“Should we try to stop them?” Coran asked.

“Nah.  They’ll be fine,” Pidge commented.  “As long as the tray is floating, the force field won’t let them fall off.  It’s 100% foolproof.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Did you hear that?” Lotor asked his generals.

“Yeah, they practically gave us the key to their front door,” Ezor smirked.

“All we have to do is get a copy of the tray’s code for Narti and we’ll be able to slip right past their defenses,” Axha stated with Kova *meowing* in agreement on Narti’s shoulders.

“Let’s go get it then.” Zethrid’s eagerness for a fight showed in her voice.

“Patience, Zethrid.  We need to make sure they suspect nothing.” Lotor said.

“I thought the virus already let us into their system?” Ezor asked.

“The virus gives us eyes and ears and control over their video feeds.  We would have had to use other means of hacking into their ship to get inside if we hadn’t found this code.  This code will speed up our plan when the time is right.  We’ll need to have you slip in to clone the signature code, Ezor.  Are you up to the task?”

“Affirmative.” Ezor gave a mock salute.

“Before that, we’ll need to set a trap so they’ll come to us.  This will allow us to be ready as soon as they land planet side.” Lotor continued to explain the plan.

Narti typed on her console and brought a planet up on the big screen.

“Excellent choice, Narti.  Planet Dezernent will be perfect.  Now, we just need to make sure word reaches Voltron.”

“On it,” Axha said.

“Now remember,” Lotor directed mostly to Zethrid, “do not engage.  We want this to be a low-risk situation for them so they all leave their ship.  There will be enough of a presence on the site for them to investigate.  They won’t risk a fight if he’s with them.”

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Realities without Lance: 84 (+12)

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[generallynerdy]

Tiny (Bucky Barnes X Male!Reader)

Summary: Tony Stark and Bruce Banner have one rule-- well, one rule that everyone actually tries to listen to-- in the compound. And that’s not to mess around in their lab. But when the cat’s away, the mice will play. Then, one of the mice will get hit with a shrink ray and actually become mouse-sized.

Requested by HauntRavensong (AO3): I had a prompt in mind. Only if you don't mind and I know you're busy. The prompt is that male reader (again, only if you don't mind) and Bucky are playing with the electronics in the lab and reader gets shrunk so Bucky takes up the mantle of watching out for him until it gets reversed. Maybe some snark and teasing from any of the others about the situation :3

Key: (Y/N) - your name

Warnings: Cursing probably, what’s an infinity wade

Word Count: 1,470

Note: i used this thing called Fighter’s Block (google it) and wrote this in like 20 minutes??? holy shit. also babe i will write whatever pronouns reader u want, i am physically incapable of being consistent anyway lmao

Tony had exactly one rule in the compound. Well, admittedly, he had a lot of rules. But there was only one that the team actually paid attention to. Tony and Bruce were very touchy about their labs and their rule was that no one-- no one-- was allowed to mess with stuff in the lab. Of course, it's the Avengers, so one would think they have the sense to listen to each other, at least on occasion.

You are an Avenger and you know this to be false.

If there is one team in the world that won't listen to orders, it's them.

One day, you and one of your best friends of the team, Bucky, were bored. You were bored out of your minds, because no bad guys decided to come out of hiding for the day and none of your teammates were around to entertain you. Bucky wasn't allowed out of the compound since the whole Civil War incident, so there wasn't much to do otherwise. That said, you probably shouldn't have agreed to his idea of sneaking into Tony and Bruce's lab, no matter how bored you were. But you agreed anyway.

Most of the lab's toys were pretty standard, but once you figured out Tony's passcode to the back part of the lab-- it was Morgan, of course-- things got way more fun.

"What does this look like to you?" Bucky hummed, holding up a box painted in Cap's signature colours.

You shrugged. "Something for Cap probably."

"Well, yeah, but what does he have in mind for the punk?" He teased.

Weapons were plentiful in the lab, but so were suits of armour. You found a few updated War Machine sets, a few bow and arrow upgrades for Clint, and even an anesthetic meant for the Hulk. A label warned that it hadn't been tested yet, though.

"Woah," Bucky breathed out, holding up a ray-gun looking thing. "What's this?"

"Freeze ray?" You asked.

He laughed. "Wouldn't put it past Stark. It doesn't really look like one, though, does it?"

You walked over to him and plucked the gun from his hands, turning it around with curiosity. "Weird," you muttered to yourself.

Upon later consideration, you decided you should've been safer when handling a gun. Alas, present you had the genius idea to look down the barrel directly, trying to get an idea of what powered it.

Then, it shot you straight in the face and you blacked out.

When you came to, presumably hours later, you could hear nothing but Bucky freaking out. He was talking to himself and pacing, from what you could hear, but when you opened your eyes…

You weren't sure where you were. You were on metal ground and something akin to a giant stapler was beside you, but it was all you could see before you looked up. Holy. Shit.

Bucky was a lot taller than you remembered. In fact, you didn't remember anyone ever being that tall.

"Uh...Buck?" You asked, looking down at your hands.

He turned to you in a sort of slow-motion movement. "Oh thank God, you're awake. Are you okay? Except for the tiny thing, I mean..."

"Tiny...?" You looked down at yourself and suddenly it all made sense. "A SHRINK RAY!?"

"It's okay! It's okay!" Bucky instantly said. "Don't freak out. I'm gonna go find Stark and we'll figure everything out. Let's get going."

"Oh no," you whined as he held out his hand for you to climb onto. "The others are never gonna let this one go."

"What do you MEAN (Y/N) shrunk himself?" Tony raved over the phone.

Bucky sighed. "Just what I said. He pointed the gun at his face--"

Bruce, who was standing beside Tony from what you could see on the screen, sighed and rubbed his face. "We have one rule, you guys. One, single rule."

"Sorry!" You squeaked, having to shout for them to hear you. "We were really bored and, well, Tony's passcode is like the easiest thing ever."

"I'll kill you," he hissed. "I'll kill both of you."

"Whatever," Bucky said, diverting the conversation. "Just come back here and fix him already."

"That's gonna be a problem, guys."

"Uh oh," you said as soon as the words left his mouth.

Bucky clenched his free fist, seeing as his left was holding you up for them to see. "What kind of problem are we talking?"

"We just got called to a situation out here," Tony explained. "HYDRA is all over this stinking place."

Bruce chimed in. "We won't be free to go until it's cleared up. We don't know how long it'll take."

Bucky facepalmed. "Great. Just...great."

For the next few days, it was you and Bucky against the world. And it wasn't a pretty world to say the least.

Being tiny was much more difficult than people gave it credit for and not 5'2" kind of tiny, but more like a few inches kind of tiny. How Scott Lang ever managed it, you have no idea. Everything you wanted to do required help, because everything you needed was made for big people.

Even making a cup of coffee just to feel life in your veins in the morning was a pain.

Everyone thought it was pretty hilarious, too, except for Bucky. Sam would burst into laughter at the sight of you jumping up and down on the TV remote just to get to the channel you wanted. Thor thought you putting PopTarts in the toaster was pretty great, too. Bucky was the only one who took your frustration seriously.

In fact, he was the one to come up with a solution.

"Now, I'm not saying it's ideal..." He started.

"Please," you interrupted, "I just need to not have to ask someone to do everything for me anytime I need something."

Okay, so his plan did include that, but it was a specific person: him.

He wore shirts with pockets. It was a miraculous little thing, but it made your whole life terrifyingly simple. He carried you everywhere and anywhere, all over the compound.

After talking to Scott, he even had a few more ideas. There was a little makeshift bed for you on his nightstand, just in case of midnight emergencies, that was made out of a shoe. Scott gave you a few of his shrinking disks to shrink down some silverware and other necessities, so eating became impossibly easier. Admittedly, you had gone swimming in a cup of coffee more than once. Nobody thought that was funny. They either thought it was relatable, like Peter and Shuri, or kind of disgusting.

But Buck stayed with you the whole time.

Four days into it, you were sleeping peacefully when he poked at your shoe-bed.

"Leave me alone," you muttered into the blankets. "I don't wanna get up."

"C'mon, (Y/N)," he said. "You've made it this far. Just give it a few more days."

You groaned. "If this has to go on for a few more days, I will die. If Sam has Redwing chase me around anymore I'm just gonna jump off the roof."

"Hey, don't talk like that." He huffed at your silence. "(Y/N), you're not dying."

"Really?" You asked drowsily. "Because it feels like it."

Bucky sighed and, despite your protests, grabbed your PJ shirt between his index finger and his thumb, pulling you from the bed. He held you up in front of his face. "(Y/N)," he chided.

"I don't like being manhandled," you muttered mutinously, crossing your arms.

The soldier gave a devilish grin. "Speaking of being manhandled...I know how to cheer you up."

Bucky knew the way to your heart. A good movie and great snacks was an instant win. Of course, it helped that the movie was Night at the Museum, then the second one, then the third one after it. He just knew all the ways to get you to like him and, to be honest, you liked him a lot more than you would like to admit.

Anyway, you really related to the tiny cowboy and his Roman boyfriend. Being tiny sucked.

Nobody understood the struggle like they did. Maybe it was why Bucky wanted to watch the movie with you. That was sweet of him.

You were just finishing up the third movie when FRIDAY spoke over the PA system.

"Sergeant Barnes, Agent (Y/N)," she said. "Boss said to tell you he's home."

"OH THANK GOD!" You exclaimed. You leapt from the edge of the popcorn bowl by instinct and landed on Bucky's hand, which was outstretched for you already.

Okay, so maybe you had gotten used to the tiny thing. And maybe you had gotten used to being with Bucky 24/7. But your point still stood. Being tiny sucked.

Masterlist

[i-like-cookiez]

An Experiment (Pidge X borrower!Lance)

Voltron g/t oneshot!

Wanting to write g/t + the amazing characters of Voltron = this, please enjoy :3

In all honesty, Lance should’ve seen this coming…

He’d been getting sloppy with his borrowing runs over the past week, leaving behind evidence of a presence in the home. He overheard one of the humans living there, a girl, muttering to herself about catching mice. He should’ve realized she had been referring to him.

And yet here he was. Desperately pounding on the strange glowing walls of his trap. He backed into the middle, his breathing becoming less stable. He’d been caught. By a human! Examining the walls closer, only added to Lance’s confusion. It didn’t look like any human object he’d ever seen before from other houses he’d lived in.

“It worked! My trap worked!” He heard from outside the strange little box. He shrunk into himself, realizing who it was. The girl. He heard the approaching footsteps, and felt the looming darkness of her shadow fall over him. Lance considered himself to be pretty brave. His parents even supporting that claim before he’d left his home.

But now? Now, he felt terrified. Powerless to do anything. He felt like the human girl was already grasping him in her tight, unforgiving fist, and yet she hadn’t even reached for him.

“Finally, I’ll have a live test subject for my experiments and inventions! And you’ll stop stealing all of my peanut butter cookies.” Lance’s body tensed, and his legs felt like jelly.

“T-Test subject…?” He whispered to himself. She was going to keep him in a cage, locked away from the world. Testing stuff on him. He fell to his knees, and hunched over, not having the will to look at the human.

“N-No please...please.” Lance quietly begged, tears beginning to trickle down his face. He tried to stop them, but to no avail, as the fear for his life overrided his pride.

“Wait a second...you’re not a mouse…oh my gosh.” Lance heard the girl suddenly whisper. And then, like magic, the walls of his trap receded. Freeing him, but also leaving no barrier between him and the girl.

“Incredible! A t-tiny person?...But how? How are you real?” She inquired, eyes lit up in awe at his presence. Lance hesitantly looked up. And up, and up to meet her gaze. He gulped fearfully as he took in her appearance.

She was wearing a green and white shirt, and had short light brown hair. She also had a pair of quite large glasses on. Scientists wear big glasses to study their subjects don’t they? Lance thought to himself. They locked eyes for a few seconds, and Lance took a couple steps back. She continued to look down at him, still surprised. Then she saw his body shaking.

“Oh...you poor thing.” She cooed, then looked at herself, “a-am I...am I scaring you?” She asked. The borrower was curling in on himself, and didn’t reply.

“Here, let me…” she trailed off, reaching down, and grabbing Lance in a firm, but gentle fist. Lance, however, did not appreciate the sudden handling. He kicked and screamed with all he had, but not even his best efforts did anything to weaken the massive being. He slumped against her fingers, defeated, and let himself be taken to what he knew would be his certain doom.

~~~~~

Pidge’s mind was going crazy. A tiny humanoid creature?!?! She never thought stable living beings were possible at that size due to the square cube law…and yet, she was holding one in her hand, although the little guy didn’t seem too pleased about being picked up.

She had so many questions she wanted to ask this boy. Where did he come from? Are there more of him? What is he? Her scientific brain swirled. What if she showed him to her father? Maybe he’d take him to labs, and their family would get rich because of her discovery! They would get tons of money, and she could use that money to work onbigger and better inventions! Pidge’s ideas came to a halt as she took a glance down at the boy in her loose fist. She immediately noticed the tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, how she could feel his entire body tremble against her fingers. He wasn’t just scared of her.

He was terrified.

Guilt crashed over Pidge like a tidal wave. This boy had emotions, and seemed just as intelligent as a human, she could’ve sworn she had even heard him speak quietly earlier. And she had thought of showing him off as some object. Some inanimate trophy of sorts for her own personal gain. Sure, he would be a scientific breakthrough, but he looked human. And no human deserves to be treated like a science experiment.

Opening and closing the door to her room quickly, Pidge carefully set him down on her desk, near some of her inventions in progress. She watched him look around with a small smile. He was kind of adorable. Then, he bolted. Thinking fast, Pidge slammed her hand down in his path. She cringed as he smacked face first into it, and fell back on his butt.

“Shoot! A-Are you okay, little guy?” She asked worriedly. She reached towards him to check if he got hurt, but he shielded his body with his arms.

“No! L-Leave me alone, human!” He shouted up to her. She pulled her hands away, raising them up defensively.

“Hey, hey, please calm down, little buddy...I mean you no harm. I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. I guess my curiosity got a little too much for both of us...heh.” She admitted, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly.

“My name is Katie, but my brother, Matt, calls me Pidge.” She introduced. “What’s your name?” She asked softly.

~~~~~

Lance looked up at the human, Katie, or Pidge, whichever she went by, distrustingly. His name? He’d never tell his name to a human!

“Wh-Why do you want to know my name?!” He asked her, “aren’t I just your new ‘test subject’?” He questioned, fear seeping back into his voice. He noticed her face sadden.

“I...I’m sorry for trapping you. I thought, well, a mouse was stealing our food. I thought it’d be a nice way to test my new device that I built myself. My hypothesis never anticipated the Mouse actually being a tiny human.” She explained.

“I’m not a human, I’m a borrower!” Lance retorted, slamming a hand over his mouth. Oh shoot, he just revealed his kind to a human! “Are-Are you going to send me to a lab to be experimented on?” Lance asked. Pidge sighed.

“No, I couldn’t do that to a creature as intelligent as yourself. You don’t deserve the treatment of an animal in a science lab.” She stated. Lance blushed a little. Did she say he was smart? Obviously Lance was overthinking what she’d meant. Pidge saw his face and rolled her eyes with a small smile.

“Oh, and don’t worry. None of these strange looking inventions are going to be used on you. In case you were feeling nervous about that.” She mentioned, moving them to another part of her room to ease his tension. “Can I know your name now?” She asked hopefully. Lance looked wary, he closed his eyes.

“It’s...L-Lance.” He sighed. Could he trust Pidge? Was she using him to gain info on his kind now that she knew about him?

“Nice to formally meet you, Lance.” She said with a smile. “So, uh, how do “borrowers” like you live?” Pidge asked him, pulling up a chair and sitting down at the desk. Lance hated how she sat leaning over him. She held so much power over him and she didn’t even realize, and he didn’t like that one bit.

“Well...we live in humans’ house walls, and scavenge small portions of left behind food scraps to survive…” he was reluctant to answer the question, but did so anyway. Pidge nodded, taking in his words.

“Seems like a dangerous life.” Pidge observed, “why don’t you come to us for help? Wouldn’t it be easier than hiding away?” She asked. Lance shuddered.

“Ask a human for help?!” He outbursted, surprising Pidge, “that’s crazy talk! Do you know what would happen to us?!” She raised an eyebrow, signaling him to continue.

“I’ve heard stories from old friends, and my parents...humans who’ve...killed us, shown us off to friends, kept us as...as pets.” He scowled, “humans are not to be trusted.” He finished. Pidge was speechless from his answer. She watched as he turned and began to walk away from her. At first, she decided to let him leave, but then another idea came to her.

“W-Wait!” She called out, “please, come back Lance.” She pleaded. Lance narrowed his eyes, but the look of desperation on her face made him cave, so he walked back.

“I’d like to conduct an experiment.” Pidge declared. Lance gasped.

“What?! Y-You lied to me!” He exclaimed. But Pidge stopped him from panicking.

“Just hold on! Don’t freak out! Just please hear me out first.” She started, “What if you give me one week to prove you wrong that all humans are cruel and evil?” She offered. Lance was confused.

“Huh?” He asked, not getting it.

“Will you stay with me for one week? Just to see if I can prove to you that I don’t want to hurt you? And that some humans are worth trusting? That’s my experiment. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but you might learn something new.” She added. Lance bounced back and forth on his feet, unsure of what to say.

“I...I don’t know. Wh-What if your lying? What if you kill me? What if you...eat me?!” Lance was starting to panic again. Pidge chuckled.

“Gross, I’d never EAT you!” She cried, grimacing, she leaned her face down closer to Lance.

“Lance...you can trust me, I swear. If you accept, You’ll be 100% safe. I just want to show you a new side of life.” She reassured. Pidge then placed her open palm face up on the table in front of him.

“Do you trust me?” She asked. Lance looked from the hand, to her eyes. She gave a small smile, and her eyes showed genuine kindness from behind her giant specs. Taking a deep breath, Lance stepped onto the offered palm.

“Yes. I trust you, Pidge. I-I’ll do it.” He stated, trying to sound as brave as possible. Pidge lifted her hand off of the table, bringing it close to her chest, and using her other hand as a wall as a way of protection.

“Excellent. I can’t wait to show you all of the amazing things that being an antisocial, inventive human has to offer!” She jokingly said excitedly.

“Hey, Pidge?” Lance suddenly piped up. She looked down at him.

“Yeah, Lance? You okay?” He paused, rubbing his arm nervously.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked.

“Because. From the looks of things, you seem to be here all alone, and with my dad and brother gone in space...I think we both need a friend.Wouldn’t you say?” She replied. Lance sat in silence for a moment.

“Yeah. A friend sounds...it sounds nice.” He admitted. Even a human friend… he thought, a small smile crossing his lips. Maybe Pidge would prove him wrong. After all, she turned out pretty okay.

He sat down in her palm, as she carried him back downstairs, to show him “video games”, what he thinks she called them. Her body heat was really comfortable, and in no time, he found himself curled up against her frame. The warmth enveloped him like a blanket, and it’s relaxing quality soon took him into a nice sleep.

~~~~~

Pidge heard Lance’s breathing slow, so she looked down to check on him, only to see he was fast asleep, curled up against her. She silently cooed at his adorable sleeping body.

“Huh, if tiny people really can exist...maybe I could build something to shrink Matt when he comes back. Then he’d finally stop making height jokes about me.” She said to herself, chuckling. She decided to turn back to her bedroom. Her new friend deserved some rest.

She deposited him onto her pillow, and sat down beside it.

“Sleep well, Lance. I’ll be here for you.” She whispered. She made a promise to Lance that she’d show him that humans could be good. And she intended to fulfill that promise.

My first time writing g/t with not original characters...woah. I mentioned how we need more tol Pidge, so I decided to act upon that, and made this! I hope it was a nice read, and I hope I got their characters right...I mean after 6 seasons of Voltron in 3 days, I should be pretty good.

[drchinfat]

Manchego the Sharp

An Ai Dungeon story

(Part 1)

You are Manchego the Sharp, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see a woman with long black hair walking towards you. She is beautiful, but also very strange looking. Her eyes seem to be made out of two different colors and she has no nose or ears...

> Ask her to join you in your quest to build a cheese empire

"Hello, I am Manchego the Sharp. What do you want?" "I would like to join you on your journey." "Really? That's great! Let me just get my pack and we can go!" "No, let me show you around first."

> Comply

You agree to accompany her and head off into the woods. The pair of you walk for some time until you come across a large tree that seems to be hollowed out. A hole is carved in it and inside there is an old man sitting on a stool.

> Ask him if he likes cheese

"What kind of cheese do you like?" "Cheddar." "Oh, I don't know anything about cheeses. Can you tell me what kind?" "It's a hard white cheese with red rinds.

> Call him out on his cheese blasphemy

"Hey, you're not allowed to eat cheese! It's forbidden!" "But it tastes good!" "Yeah, but it's not real cheese. It doesn't belong here."

> Take his cheese and replace it with the finest camembert

"Fine, but I'm going to make this one taste better than yours." "That's fine. But I think you'll find that I've got something special planned for this cheese."

The pair of you sit down at a table and start eating.

> Consume a wedge of parmesan

"This is delicious! How did you make it so tasty?" "Well, I used a magic trick." "A magic trick?

> "A good magician never reveals his secrets."

"Exactly. Magic tricks are always a secret. If they were ever revealed, then everyone would know how to do them now." "So why didn't you reveal any of your secrets when you created this cheese?

> "Because it was a secret magic trick. It's self-explanatory."

"Very well, I accept your answer. So what do you plan to do next?

> "I would like to build a cheese empire with your help."

"We will see. We must talk more about our plans later." "Okay, I guess we should get back to it."

You leave the forest and continue on your way.

> Start collecting milk

As you travel through the countryside, you begin gathering milk from cows and goats. You collect as much as possible before the sun sets and return home to prepare for the night's festivities.

When you arrive back at your house, you notice that it has been decorated in a festive manner.

> Enter the house

You walk into the house and find that it is indeed decorated in a festive manner. There are candles everywhere, there are balloons filled with candy, there are even some little people dancing around.

> Ask what is going on

"What is all this?" "Oh, just my sister's friends coming over to celebrate her birthday. She said she wanted us to be part of it." "And you agreed?" "Of course. I mean we don't really have anything better to do right now anyway."

> Shut down the party and send everyone home

You decide to shut down the party and send everyone home.

Your sister is not happy about this decision.

"Why can't we go out and play instead? We could buy these new games or whatever!

> "I have serious cheese business to attend to."

"Fine, but only if you promise me one thing."

She says "One thing?"

"Just one thing. That you won't shut up about it until the end of time!"

> Leave her to her own devices

You leave her to her own devices.

The next day comes and goes without incident. The party continues on as usual. You spend most of your free time playing games with your sister and other children who come by to play with you.

> Leave in the middle of the night when your sister is sleeping

You wake up early in the morning. Your sister is still asleep so you head off to work.

You get to work and you are glad to see that everything is running smoothly.

> Ask about the cheese production line

You ask about the cheese production line. "It's pretty simple actually. All we need is a large amount of milk and a lot of cheese. Then we simply throw them in the machine and let it run."

"So how long does it take?

> "No matter, it shan't take long at all. I have plenty of milk her which I have gathered from the countryside."

"Well then, let's hurry up and make more cheese."

You agree and head back to your cottage.

After a few days pass, you begin hearing strange noises coming from outside. It sounds like someone is crying.

> Go outside to investigate

You go outside to investigate. You see a bunch of people standing in front of your cottage. They look very scared and confused. Some of them seem to be holding babies and others appear to be pregnant women.

> Reassure the crowd that they will have plenty of cheese

You calm everyone down saying "We're making enough cheese for years to come. Just trust us."

You continue to assure them that there is no danger and they should feel safe. Eventually, the noise dies down and you hear some shouting from inside the cottage.

> Go back inside

You return to your cottage and find that the noise has died down. You see a man in a lab coat sitting behind his desk. He looks angry though, he yells at you angrily and begins pacing around the room.

> Ask him why he is in your house

You ask him why he is here.

He replies "Because I am an idiot and I didn't realize that you were going to be here. Now, since you've been gone for so long, let me explain what happened."

> Listen

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't help you. You have been missing for over two months now and I haven't received any information from your family or friends. If you had just told me sooner, we could have found out where you were taken."

> "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my brother. He was kidnapped by bandits while on his way home from town."

You think for a moment before answering "How do you know this?

> "Are you sure that it was bandits who kidnapped him, and not giant mice?"

Are you sure that it was bandits who kidnapped him, and not giant mice? Yes No "Well if it wasn't giants, then what did they kidnap him for?" You ask. "Oh, well...they took him away to work as a slave in some castle...

> "Ah yes. Making cheese no doubt."

"So what are you saying exactly?

> "I run a cheese factory."

"I run a cheese factory!" You exclaim. "A cheese factory?" The scientist says. You reply "Yeah! We make all kinds of different types of cheeses! Like cheddar, mozzarella, provolone, gouda and more!"

> Employ the scientist to research new and better cheeses

The scientist is surprised by your offer. He thinks for a moment and replies "Fine, I'll help you with that." You thank him and tell him to get back to work.

You sit down and start reading through the book he gave you earlier.

> Read the summary of the book

You look up at the sky and begin reading the summary of the book. You skim through it quickly trying to understand everything. It's very complicated, but you manage to finish it within an hour.

> The summary, you fool!

The summary reads: There once was a man named John Smith, who lived in a small village called Smithsfield. One day when he went outside to play catch with his dog, he was attacked by three men wearing black cloaks.

> Continue reading

They beat him, tied him up and left him to die. When he awoke, he was unable to move his body. His head was completely bald and his hands were also horribly deformed. He couldn't even speak properly anymore, only making grunts and groans.

> Throw away book

You toss the book aside and stand up. You walk over to the window and look out into the night sky. The moon shines brightly on the stars above you. You can see a few constellations, like Orion, Cassiopeia and Lyra.

> Examine the night sky for cheese constellations

You notice something strange. There are several bright lights in the sky. They're moving slowly across the sky. You study them carefully. They seem to be stars, but they aren't ordinary stars. These are cheese constellations! Cheese constellations!

> Find a piece of paper and draw the cheese constellations

You write down the names of each constellation and then draw them in the sky. You turn around and stare at the stars.

You draw a star for every cheese constellation you remember seeing before.

> Rush off to the factory and order new types of cheese names after the cheese constellations

You rush off to the factory and order new types of cheese names after the cheese constellations. You hurry back home and wait until dawn.

When you wake up, you realize that you've forgotten what kind of cheese you want to make.

[writteninsunshine]

Let Your Colors Fill My World 001/003 - Axel/Zexion - SFW

Title: Let Your Colors Fill My World

Author: Donnie

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy VII

Setting: Various

Pairing: Axel/Zexion

Characters: Axel, Zexion, Vexen, Reno, Xigbar

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/3

Word Count: 4323

Type Of Work: Chapter Fic, Part of the Run To Me series

Status: Incomplete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Secret Relationship, AU - Modern AU, AU - College AU, ABO Dynamics, Mating, No major smut, Vexen is Zexion’s Father, Xigbar Adopted Axel Reno and Marluxia

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except Axel’s cat Pandora and Zexion’s cats D’Artagnan and Hamlet.

Summary: A thirty kisses meme for Axel and Zexion with an ABO college AU.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have Twitter and Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD I can PM it to people who want it on FFN, for everyone else, it’s here: https://discord.gg/FyaWw25

I really got into this ship on accident after rping with my husband and it happened on accident. I really can’t help myself, I needed more of them. I hope you guys don’t mind. Here we go!

Let Your Colors Fill My World Chapter Two

Kingdom Hearts Fic Masterlist

Chapter One: Reminded Of Your Pretty Eyes

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(1. Look Over Here)

“And then you-- Axel?” Zexion passed a hand over Axel’s face with a frown, before finally leaning forward and kissing him. That seemed to help get his head back in the game, and the elder man leaned in to chase his lips. Zexion nipped him softly with his teeth and shook his head, “How much of that did you space out for?”

“Huh?” Axel blinked a little bit, staring at him, “What do you mean?” 

“You were zoning out. You’re as bad as Roxas.” Zexion rolled his eyes, smiling slightly as he leaned forward, “No wonder you have to be tutored. Apparently you can’t focus unless I touch you. You’re so tactile.”

“What’s that mean?” It wasn’t like Zexion didn’t insult him occasionally, but he didn’t think right now would be the best time. Was that even an insult? Zexion’s entire vocabulary was way higher than his, despite the younger man being three years younger than him.

“You like to be touched.” Zexion stroked his bare palm over Axel’s cheek and the elder man purred, causing him to roll his eyes again. “You need to focus or you’re going to fail this class. You can’t go into accounting if you can’t even pass the basics.”

“I don’t really think I’m going to fail just because I--”

“If you can’t handle the basics, you will fail.” Zexion sighed, straightening up from where he had settled to lean against the table. Crawling into his lap, he scooted into the best possible position to continue. “Will you listen, now?”

“I-- Y-Yes.” Axel murmured into his hair, pressing his nose to the nape of the other’s neck, “I can do it.”

“Then let’s try again.” Zexion took a deep breath. “Now, let’s see… We’ll start back here,” He began, pointing to a page he turned to in the other’s textbook. Axel knew he was in for a long afternoon.

(2. News; Letter)

[Text To: Fire In The Hole] You are never going to guess what happened.

[Text To: Sexion] Wut? Good or bad?

[Text To: Fire In The Hole] What do you think?

[Text To: Sexion] It’s hard 2 tell with u.

[Text To: Fire In The Hole] Meet me at the fence.

Axel was in his backyard in a matter of minutes, and he could almost hear the vibrating of the sixteen-year-old on the other side. Pushing back the broken plank, Axel’s jade eyes met wide cobalt as the younger teen grinned at him.

“Woah, you look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.” That was something Xigbar had definitely taught him to say. “What’s up?”

“Radiant Garden accepted me to join the Biochem program.” Zexion kept his voice down, but he nearly looked like he could jump for joy. “I’ll be able to begin working in the lab Vexen works for in my second semester.”

“That’s great, Zex,” Axel grinned, crouched in the corner of the yard, “I’m really happy for you.” Even if that meant his boyfriend would probably have to take even more time away from him for studying. 

“You sound sad. Didn’t think you’d be my main focus forever, did you, Axel?” He teased, sitting on his knees and scooting close, “Do you need reassurance?” Axel often needed his attention to prove that he was important. 

“For what?” Axel tried to laugh, rubbing his hair down against his neck as he scooted closer to face him better, “What are you going to do when you start going to school? Get drunk and mate someone else your first day?”

“Oh, hardly,” Zexion cackled, hiding his amusement beneath his hand, “You’re the only person I can feasibly see myself being even remotely nude around, so you shouldn’t worry. Come here.” Pushing more at the loose plank, he pressed the bridge of his nose to the top of the hole. 

Axel eagerly scooted closer, kissing the smaller’s lips and melting into the feeling of it. That was probably better for easing his worries than anything Zexion could have said. 

“Anyway, don’t you go to RGU? What sort of partying have you been doing?” Zexion accused playfully when he pulled back, leaving Axel wanting, chasing his lips.

“Getting tutored by a sixteen-year-old.” Axel replied, “And I’m in the math department. Biochem is on the opposite side of campus.”

“Well, we’ll have to meet in the middle for lunch.” Zexion told him, “I’ll let you know what my schedule is when I get it. Maybe we can even talk Vexen into letting you be my ride.”

“I doubt it.” Axel chuckled, “But a little hope never killed anyone.”

(3. Jolt!)

How long had he been sitting outside of McDuck’s Ice Cream Parlor, now? Zexion was sure that he was going to be waiting all day. If Axel kept him there alone much longer, he’d be forced to start eating before he arrived. Sighing, he placed his elbow on the table and his head in his hand as he closed his eyes, pulling a small paperback of Of Mice And Men from his jacket pocket and began to read. The pressed flower bookmark he had had in it made him smile. A birthday gift from Axel when he’d been eleven, something he had kept in pristine condition all this time.

After a few minutes’ worth of reading, he glanced at his phone. Axel had said that that was where they were going to meet… Maybe he was waiting inside. Sighing again and starting to get up, he jolted instead when he felt hands on his hips.

“There you are.” Axel grinned, happy to take the elbow to the chest that had been apparently waiting for him. He chuckled, unable to help himself.

“Hey! Don’t do that!” Zexion exclaimed, frowning, turning fully to face him and placing both hands on his hips, knocking Axel’s grubby hands from them. “You know I detest being surprised!”

“I couldn’t help myself!” Axel chuckled, holding his hands up in a placating gesture as Zexion bopped his shoulder with his palm. “Okay, okay. At least I didn’t use this?” He held up a pen that suddenly looked menacing.

“What is that?” Zexion asked, unamused.

“It’s one of those shocker pen things. Reno boosted it and got me with it.” Axel explained, earning a bristled scowl from Zexion, “I wouldn’t do that to you, Bunny, don’t worry.”

“You had best not.” Zexion answered easily, “If you want me to buy you lunch, still.” 

“I won’t, I won’t.” Axel laughed softly, leaning down to kiss his lips. Zexion knocked his hair into his face, leaving Axel to kiss it against his cheek, and he sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be for even considering it.” Zexion flipped his hair back, looking up at him and finally smiled softly, “Let’s get your ice cream. I can’t believe your dad lets you eat that for lunch.” He chuckled, knowing that Vexen would have his head for even thinking about it.

“Okay, okay.” Axel smiled, leaning down again and surprising Zexion with an actual kiss on the lips, “Let’s get lunch. Plus, this place has burgers and stuff, so we can get real food, first.” But only if Zexion made him.

“You and I both know that Vexen won’t think of that as food.” Zexion laughed, pushing at the elder’s face and turning to enter McDuck’s Ice Cream Parlor. Axel was quick to follow, taking his hand once inside the building.

(4. Our Distance And That Person)

It wasn’t every day that Zexion was allowed to get a ride home from someone other than Vexen. Axel had taken Xigbar’s wood-paneled station wagon to Radiant Garden University, and Vexen was working late. Zexion had simply told him he was getting a ride home from a fellow student and that he would be waiting when he arrived with dinner ready. That seemed to be enough for Vexen’s hesitant approval, and the ride home with Axel had begun.

Standing on Vexen’s front porch, with Xigbar’s station wagon parked in his own driveway, Zexion spoke in a flurry of hand motions uncharacteristic to his usually quiet demeanor. Axel hadn’t heard the end of the supposed idiot in Zexion’s Shakespearian Literature class, and it didn’t seem like it would let up any time soon. Catching one of Zexion’s hands, Axel tugged him in for a gentle kiss that caught him off guard and stopped his tirade for the first time in twenty minutes.

“I get it, Zex,” Axel said softly against his mouth, “But didn’t you tell me that more than fifteen minutes of talking about stuff that pisses you off is unproductive?” He remembered it being something about being detrimental if one continued to obsess.

“Mn… And you seek to stop me?” Zexion teased with a soft smile, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck to tug him in tighter. Axel lifted him by his thighs, walking him to the porch swing and sitting down. Holding him close, he guided the smaller to tilt his head and lapped at his lips, easily being accepted as the pair kept contact, Axel’s hands sliding to his hips. With both knees folded on the sides of Axel’s thighs, Zexion scooted in until his knees touched the back of the swing.

It went on like that for a while, until Reno poked his head around the seven-foot-tall privacy fence and spoke.

“Dude, Vexen’s definitely on the block. Scatter!” 

Axel deposited Zexion on the porch swing with one final kiss and vaulted over the porch railing in record time, bounding to his side of the fence when the silver Acura NSX pulled past their other neighbor’s mailbox. Once it was parked safely in the driveway, Zexion had already gone inside to start dinner, making a rather decent run of it by chopping as fast as he could. Their chicken carbonara would be done before Vexen was ready to eat, for sure. 

Axel watched warily through a hole in the fence as Vexen paused on his doorstep, key in hand, and sniffed. The other Alpha shook his head and entered the house without a word, leaving him sighing softly, sinking down the fence.

“That was close.” Reno commented absently, arms crossed as he looked down at his twin, “I’d say it’s time you convince Zexion to convince Vexen to let him get a dorm room. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to run away every time he got close.”

“I’d still have to run if he came to visit.” Axel replied, “And you can bet that Zexion would get his own room to himself, too. Vexen’s program is incredibly pricey, I hear.”

“Except for the one kid he ushered in without a test.” Reno reminded, “So Zexion’ll get a cozy little love nest for you two that Vexen has access to. So I guess just be careful and don’t take off your shoes.”

“My-- Reno!” Smacking his twin in the thigh, Axel hoisted himself up to his feet and started for the house. “Shut it, you and I both know Zexion wouldn’t tolerate dirt in his room.” Shoes weren’t allowed in his house, they wouldn’t be allowed in his dorm room.

“I know, I know. Clean freak begets clean freak.” Reno paused, “Did I use that right or are you going to go full ham on me?”

“Oh my God,” Axel groaned, “I think you used it right but I’ll be sure to ask.”

“Dude, no!”

“Then don’t try me.”

“I totally helped you, dude, you guys were playing tonsil hockey and you would have gotten killed with an icicle if Vex would have caught you.” Reno murmured, crossing his arms, “So you should be thanking me.”

“Thanks for saving my life.” Axel started, “But you’re being an ass. The dorm room thing is a good idea, though, so I guess I’ll give you that.”

“Finally, point Reno!”

“Yeah, Reno, one, everyone else, a lot more.”

“Shut it, Axe.” Reno groaned, pushing open the door, “Pulled him off the neighbor, dad, we’re good to go for dinner!”

(5. "Ano Sa…" ("Hey, You Know…."))

“I’ve been thinking about moving out to campus.” Axel began one evening, dipping his french fry in his chocolate milkshake and taking a bite, “What do you think?”

Zexion took a long draw from his coffee malt, pursing his lips around the straw and frowning finally when he swallowed and it dropped from his lips. After a moment, he looked over the red lacquered table, their homework spread beside their blue baskets of burgers and fries, sighing heavily.

“So you’d elect to move away from me?” He asked, already regretting the question when it left him. Axel looked heartbroken for a split second before trying on a hesitant smile.

“Well, it would give us more time to be together.” Axel told him easily, leaning forward animatedly, “You could come by my room and we could do whatever we want.” Winking playfully, he waggled his eyebrows and Zexion snorted.

“Provided your roommate doesn’t complain.”

“Well, I'll have to deal with that, not you.”

“What if he says something to the school? Vexen will find out--”

“Vexen won't find out. Trust me, babe, this will be better for us.” Axel tried, reaching across the table and taking his hand. Zexion held it limply, not convinced. Anxiety permeated his scent and all Axel wanted to do was scent him to calm him down.

“I suppose it’s something to think about.” Zexion acquiesced finally, sighing softly as he closed his eyes and took another sip of his malt. After a squeeze to Axel’s hand, they fell into relative silence, seemingly as Axel started to think.

“Hey, you know…” Axel began around a bite of his burger, a glare from Zexion making him swallow before he continued, “What if you got a dorm?” 

“What?”

“You’re sixteen now, and Vexen’s on the school board.” Axel told him, “I doubt he’d let you share a room with a stranger, he doesn’t even let you come over to my house.” He pointed out, “So you wouldn’t have to worry about a roommate unless you wanted me to stay over with you.”

That thought had Zexion chewing over his thoughts, another bite of his burger behind him before he spoke once more. Axel found it endearing that he always chewed thoroughly and swallowed before he spoke. That wasn’t common in his house.

“I suppose you have a very valid point.” He finally admitted, drinking down more of the coffee malt he’d found was his favorite at this establishment, “Though convincing him to let me get a room here might be a bit more difficult.”

“How many times have you made and presented Powerpoints to him that have worked?” Axel asked with a sly grin, leaning over the table and nearly uprooting his milkshake in the process, “I know you can do this.” He kissed the other’s cheek, then his lips, and sat back on his side of the booth. “You’ve got this, babe. I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

“Perhaps not on purpose.” Zexion chuckled, wiping absently at his lips with a napkin. “Very well. I will begin work tonight when I am home. This should be interesting, surely, because Vexen has as of yet decided that I will live at home until I’m his age.”

“You’re never going to catch up to him.” Axel laughed softly, rolling his eyes, “Well, maybe we can convince him that you need to spread your wings, test out being on your own. He won’t be around forever, after all.”

“Indeed.” Even if Reno often said that he was older than dirt. “I’ll have to talk him into it.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you, kid genius.”

(6. The Space Between Dream And Reality)

“I can’t believe it.” Zexion told him through the fence, leaning on the back wall of it as he sighed dreamily, “My own dorm room, sans medical equipment and a parental figure.”

“It’s going to be so great. I can help you decorate.” Axel sounded more relieved than anything because maybe this was the real start to this five-year-long relationship. Their anniversary was coming up, and he thought it would be good to try and do something for it. Maybe this year they could actually celebrate. 

“You can move in, if you want.” Zexion laughed softly, trying to keep his voice down, “I wouldn’t mind having you as a roommate.”

“Vexen would flip his shit.” Axel chuckled, “But I’d like to stay with you as much as I can. I can’t wait to get you to myself.”

“I suppose one Powerpoint was an awfully cheap price to pay for a little freedom and a lot more time with you. But it had better not interfere with my studying and work.” Zexion leveled a finger and wagged it at the other’s face through the hole in the fence.

“You look just like him when you do that. I’m sure he’s proud.” Axel rolled his eyes playfully, scooting towards the broken plank and pressing his cheeks to the wood, pursing his lips. “I won’t, I promise.”

“And you’ll seal it with a kiss?” Zexion chuckled, moving to his knees to place a soft peck on the other’s lips. “Then you had best not fall through on this promise. I need to maintain my studies.”

“I know, I know.” Axel leaned in for another kiss, “You have to maintain contact with me, too. Maybe you can study in my lap, and I’ll just hold you while you work.”

“That… Sounds rather nice, actually.”And brought a heavy blush to his cheeks, to boot.

“You’re beautiful,” Axel said that way too often for Zexion’s comfort, but he accepted the compliment with a tilt of his head to hide his face in his hair. “I honestly think I could--”

“Zexion! What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be packing?” Vexen’s voice signaled the end of their rendezvous, and Axel dutifully closed the loose plank so that he wouldn’t be seen. 

“I’ll text you.” He whispered before disappearing into his house, and Zexion rose from his spot behind the strawberry bushes to enter the house.

“Yes, I know, Vexen. I was just taking a moment in the backyard, I needed some fresh air.”

“Well, you should know better than to take breaks before your toiling starts,” Vexen began, guiding him into the house with a sigh. The screen door slammed shut behind him, but he closed the inner door gentler, leading his son to his room, where boxes awaited him. He was going to have to take his time, even if he wanted to throw everything in the boxes. If he didn’t, his OCD wouldn’t give him a break.

(7. Superstar)

“No, no, no.” Zexion frowned a little bit as he placed his hands on his hips, weight shifting to his right foot, “That isn’t going up.”

“Oh, come on, Zex, he’s a good musician. Have to support our friends.” Axel pouted, holding up the poster that he and Demyx had made together so he could feel special. “He’s a regular superstar.”

“And he doesn’t get along with me very well.” Zexion pointed out, “I’m not going to stare at Demyx while you’re not here. I said ‘no’. Demyx is your friend, not mine.” 

“Okay, okay, jeez.” Axel rubbed a hand through his hair, “I just thought--”

“You thought wrong.” Zexion crossed his arms, “Plus, I know he likes you. That doesn’t help.”

“He does?”

“He does.” Crossing the room to where his poster of the elements had hung up a minute ago, he placed it back on the wall and tacked it back into place. “And I don’t want the reminder every time I look at this wall.”

“Okay, I see your point.” Axel sighed, rolling the poster back up and putting it in his bag. “I’m sorry.”

“...You don’t have to be. I know he’s your friend.” Zexion crossed the room to his bed, sitting down. “Come here.”

Axel listened, walking to him and sitting beside him, head down. Zexion carefully reached over, taking his chin in hand and bringing him forth for a kiss. 

“I'm sorry. I just… We really don’t get on well and I don’t really want to see him every time you’re here…” And if Axel got used to staring at Demyx, he might leave. Zexion was always anxious about that because Axel had so many options that were probably better than him.

“It’s okay, babe, I promise. I don’t want to stress you out more.” Living by himself was already bothering the younger teen, and Axel didn’t need to add to that. “I promise, it’s okay.”

“Okay… Thank you for understanding.”

“Of course.” Axel smiled softly, holding his free hand and kissing him again. “Try not to worry so much. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

(8. Our Own World)

The fairie lights around the bed were a good touch, and even Axel could appreciate them. They made Zexion’s cobalt eyes sparkle as he looked at up Axel, laying in his bed laden with pillows and blankets like the veritable king he was in his palace. He lay with his head on a cat-themed pillow, one hand curled by his face and the other on his hip. It was a beautiful look on him, and Axel’s breath was caught in his throat. 

“Axel?” Zexion asked softly, head tilting a little bit, “You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful.” Axel purred happily, reaching forward to brush some hair from his face, “You made your room pretty beautiful, too.” 

“Thanks.” Blushing a little bit, Zexion nuzzled his nose against Axel’s hand and kissed his palm.

“I love you,” Axel said softly, leaning forward to kiss his lips. “I really do.”

“I… I love you, too.” Zexion replied against his lips, and he nuzzled their noses together, “I’m so glad that you do.” He was always thankful for it.

Despite Vexen trying to tear them apart, the couple was happy to float in their own little world, oblivious to the elder man’s attempts to drive them away from each other.

(9. Dash)

Zexion opened the door to his dorm with his bag on his shoulder, only to find Axel fumbling with his keys. Blinking a couple of times in rapid succession, he looked up at him with a curious glint in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was coming to see you between classes.” Axel replied, “But you look like you’re leaving?”

“I have a class in fifteen.” He replied, laughing softly, “So it’s a bad time. I’m not missing Vexen’s class.”

“Oh, shit, yeah..” Rubbing his hair, Axel blushed slightly, “I’ll come back, then.”

Leaning up on his tiptoes, Zexion pursed his lips, and Axel leaned in to kiss him lovingly. 

“Gotta run.” Patting his shoulder, Zexion laughed softly as he made his mad dash to Vexen’s class.

“Wait,” Axel started, sucking his own lips into his mouth, “I could walk you most of the way to class?” He offered, clearly wanting to spend at least some time with Zexion. He liked to see him off to class, anyway, making sure the younger man got to class safely. 

Zexion considered it, tapping his lower lip with his pointer finger, and finally nodded. “As long as I’m not late, I don’t mind.”

The pair walked together in companionable silence, Axel humming a song stuck in his head as he held the other’s hand. Leading the way to the science building, Zexion leaned his head on the other’s arm, closing his eyes for a second. The crisp fall air was chilly and he was thankful for his scarf, even if it was almost too big and chunky.

“I love the fall.” Zexion murmured, a couple leaves crunching under his boots, “It’s so relaxing…”

“Plus, you love Halloween.” Axel pointed out, “And all things spooky.”

“I do, don’t I?” Zexion chuckled, shaking his head as they arrived at the building. Leaning up on his toes, he delighted in Axel leaning down to kiss him again.

“You do,” Axel replied against his lips, holding the other close as they shared in another long kiss. Zexion didn’t realize how long they had been kissing until his phone began to sing, reminding him that he had a minute left to make it to class. Eyes popping open wide, he pecked Axel’s lips once more before ducking around him.

“I’m almost late! See you later!” He called over his shoulder, rushing into the building to try and make it to Vexen’s class on time.

(10. #10)

“I can’t believe Luxord won’t bet against you. He bets against everyone.” Axel sighed softly, shaking his head. “It’s like he’s scared, he was so adamant about it.”

Everyone had gathered at Luxord’s house for poker that night, and Vexen had brought Zexion along. He played the game like Luxord did, counting cards and folding a lot in the beginning, but in the end, he’d left with everyone’s munny. 

“I think he just knows my tricks to play, he knows I’m the best and he won’t take the bet against me because we’d never finish playing.” Zexion smiled slightly, flicking his hair out of his face, watching Axel as he adjusted something on Zexion’s desk.

“You were cheating, weren’t you?”

“I still won the pot.” He replied, shrugging slightly as he placed a few more books on his desk. Zexion was always reading in his spare time, and Axel liked how he smelled like an old library all the time. But he was giving a nonanswer, and Axel knew that that meant that he had definitely cheated.

“That you did.” Axel chuckled, slouching slightly as he paced the room towards the other, taking his waist with his hands. Turning him, Axel kissed him softly on the lips. “But did you have to take all my munny, too?”

“Yes. That’s the point of poker.” He chuckled, “I’ll buy us dinner to celebrate?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I think I want pizza.”

“Pizza sounds excellent.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: There we go, part one is finished! It took a little longer than I’d like, but I still like how these are coming out. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Prompts: Thirty Kisses Theme Set 1

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e3a: tokyo grows

episode summary: inexplicably existing in post-war japan, brain hijacks a shrink ray he just found laying around in order to make it a growth ray. he intends to dress pinky up as terrifying local monster gollyzilla, and pretend to defeat him, so the japanese people... elect him... president. of. japan.

all i’m gonna say is shinzo abe’s replacement has a hell of a lot coming to him if that’s a job requirement.

the rundown:

IT IS TOKYO IN 1956.

you can tell because it says “tokyo 1956″ in big letters at the bottom of the screen.

as we take a detour into acmeshito labs, senior-ly produced by tom ruegger,

we see a fellow sacrificing his shoes to the shoe gods. (sorry about that weird line at the bottom. vlc player has just decided it’s doing that now, i guess. nothing i can do about it.)

inside, some other lads, who have all been produced by peter hastings (my, the man gets around) are shrinking tvs for fun and giggles.

“at last! professor mifune! you have perfected the process of shrinking electronic devices, so we can sell them to americans for a lot of money!”

hm.

“yes, shimura, and now i say to you! miniturisation will be very,

BIG.”

and then they both shuffle over to stand in front of each other and laugh in a weird stilted way.

HA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA. i’m not sure if this is making fun of japanese people, or a common trend in japanese media (or voice acting?) at the time, but, um, i’m uncomfortable.

thankfully, the newly miniturised radio advertises that Legendary Prehistoric Monster Gollyzilla has been spotted, and apparently

the emperor wants mifune’s scientific opinion on gollyzilla

GOLLYZILLA

so maybe it’s best for mifune and shimura to get the fuck out of dodge.

so the two of them make a hasty retreat - after toeing their shoes back on, of course.

but who are these two!

brain looks pensive. i don’t know what’s in that waterbottle, but he’s having a tiny mousie crisis. pinky is narfing at him with little to no concern for his mental state.

still, crisis or not, brain has a world to take over. he mentions to pinky that the scentific equipment before them will be “invaluable for his plan to”

“TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” we really do get one per episode, huh.

“you mean you’re going to shrink down all the electronic so only mice can operate them?”

which is a reasonable idea, i think. brain counters it with “don’t be absurd, pinky, there’s no future in minaturisation,” and clarifies that is is big things that strike fear into the hearts of humans.

like that ridiculous legend of gollyzilla. <gay little hands on hip pose>

as pinky ponders whether Kay Ballard is In The Union (sorry, pinky, she’s dead) brain explains that his intent is to alter the shrink ray into a growth ray, to “become a four hundred foot tall mouse and save the world from gollyzilla.”

“but you just. said there was no such thing as gollyzilla, brain.”

“there is now, pinky.”

did we really need another closeup for that line, guys? really? is it not enough to have the mouse say his lines without shoving the camera into his face? must the man deepthroat the camera every time he has things to say?

anyway brain’s plan is to dress pinky up as gollyzilla and “save tokyo” from him. you can tell because the camera angle makes it look like his head is on gollyzilla’s body.

this random man takes a toke from his old timey pipe. “yes, i see.” he says. this is not explained.

as brain reverses the shrink ray into a growth ray, pinky makes his debut.

TADAAAAAAA POIT.

“what do you think, brain? pretty scaaaaaaary, eh?”

“yes, pinky. terrifying. stand by.”

boop.

there probably won’t be a lot left of the lab when brain is done, unfortunately.

but hey! check this out!

“narf.”

“where are you, brain? i can’t see you.”

“i’m down--”

bonk.

well, he’s clearly dead, so i guess that’s this review over.

jokes, of course. lucky for us, brain is still alive, and he has brought a little megaphone with him! awwww.

“now, go on your rampage, gollyzilla!” he’s very hype for that, it appears. pinky tries his best not to disappoint.

NARF POIT I AM PINKZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS

AARGHGGHGHH RAAARGHGHG ARGH.

it’s this random man again. “yesss, i see.” i don’t know who he is, or why he’s here, and i am scared.

but never mind him. we cut to this adorable straight couple chilling on this bridge.

“i love you, fumiko.”

“and i love you, hershel.”

awwww.

unfortunately, famously heterophobic legendary monster gollyzilla is here. “hello!” he says, cheerily. “i’m on a rampage. narf.”

fumiko and hershel get the fuck out of dodge.

still, pinky’s having fun, and that’s what matters.

though bits of his costume are coming off.

“oooh, i can’t see through this thing!”

“oh.”

“oh no! the giant monster is moulting!”

rip that guy, i guess. upon attempting to recover his lost glove, pinky accidentally spikes his tail on a nearby building in the process.

“egad. i’m all a tangle!”

he gives it a yank, for good measure,

and ends up catapulting himself into the abyss.

the random man is back. “yesss, i see,” he says. what does he want? what is he doing here? please don’t smoke in front of me, sir. i have real bad asthma.

meanwhile, brain is making himself “the largest mouse on earth, and hero of the planet.”

donk.

this frame is terrifying so obviously i’m making everyone look at it.

“people of tokyo! do not fear! i, brainodo, have come to save you!”

i’m not sure they’re convinced. the army have shown up, by this point.

“it’s another giant monster! even more ugly than gollyzilla!”

rude.

brain suggests that, perhaps, he is actually an artificially enlarged labmouse here to save them from gollyzilla, and maybe they could thank him by making them emperor.

the military do not agree.

so, yknow, maybe it’s best that he goes to look for pinky.

“how can i save the city from gollyzilla with no gollyzilla!” yells brain, as he steps on a school bus and either, 1, kills like 40 children, or 2, ruins the setpiece for melanie martinez’s 2019 music video “wheels on the bus.”

(no one’s watching us don’t give a fuck wheels on the bus ou ou)

anyway it’s a good thing that pinky has decided to spontaniously burst out of this lake. man’s really commiting to the role, huh.

again, he’s having fun.

brain is less impressed.

after admonishing pinky for running off,

brain reminds him to “make the battle look realistic”. their plan, of course, depends on it.

TAKE THAT, YOU HORRIBLE BEAST

ouch.

pinky sure is putting a weird amount of effort into this battle. and pyrotechnics??? yeah.

bonk.

bonk.

yeet.

as brain unflomphs himself, and prepares to strike back, pinky comes over to see what’s going on.

“scuse me, brain.”

“go away, pinky. can’t you see i’m fighting with pinky?”

“oh, but. wait.”

“how can you be fighting with me over there, if i’m over here?”

“it’s a very simple principle, pinky! it’s because!”

“that’s the real gollyzilla.”

and by the looks of things, he’s not very happy.

conclusion:

pinky’s first instinct, upon seeing The Real Gollyzilla (please stand up, please stand up) brandishing a building at them, is to pick brain up and flee in terror.

it’s very cute. he just scoops him up and nopes him away. not today, gollyzilla. not today.

gollyzilla, unfortunately, seems pretty bloody determined to make it today.

unfortunately, in his quest to deliver brain to safety, pinky walks right into a pylon.

bonk. they fall over. ):

and unfortunately, they fell directly onto what was once acmeshito labs, which activates the growth ray in the process.

it’s this guy again.

who are you??? what the fuck do you want?? why are you just smoking your pipe and looking at me like that and saying yesss, i seeeee. what do you see??? did the newslady send you??? what do you want from me??????

he gets shot by the growth ray. good. die.

the mice, as you can imagine, are not having a great time of things right now.

gollyzilla is fully prepared to bonk them on the head.

but oh! what is this?

random man? is that you? are you our hero, random man? is this your redemption arc?

do you see now, random man? what do you see?

well, he just yeeted a building, so jot that down.

he seems to be preparing himself to yeet gollyzilla, too.

same.

the mice duck out of the way as the fearsome creature is launched like an olympic sport. good thing tokyo 2020 got cancelled, i guess.

air lizard. nyoom. unfortunately they land on the remains of acmeshitu labs,

and nudges the growth ray in the process.

it goes a bit haywire.

the mice look on, perturbed, as it starts firing at random objects.

like this building.

and that fire hydrant.

and that building.

and this, uh.

city?

um????

oh dear.

at least acmeshito labs is going back in for repairs.

“it’s a shame we’re not giant any more, brain.”

“we are, pinky. unfortunately, so is everything else. our relative smallness remains.”

alright. that’s the end of that one, i guess. that’s going down as a solid outside influence.

brain: 5 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 11

brilliant, brain!

but oh, wait, no. is earth like, 400 times its’ previous size, now? surely that can’t be good for the universe????

what are your thoughts, bbc science focus?

well. that’s not good.

[wetslug]

Yooo! (Prozac is my cocaine anon here) I might transfer to UBC in a semester or three? Would you rec it or would like any other uni be better (eg sfu, uvic, fuckn? thomp rivers) ((also ik it was a joke slide but if thats the legit title youre gonna use may i, as someone who took one single communication course as a gpa booster, -(gdgrse not that im implementing it)- gently reccomend revising it for clarities sake? I assume there is "alcohol reward behaviour" and "other related behaviours"? (1/2)

((nd not “Et0H reward” & “related behavrs” (behavr related to the reward? Yes, probably, but it might take a minute to figure.) [“Effects of c. stress on related behavrs” & “effects of c. stress on Et0H reward” is one way brain tends to interperet the list is what im tryin to say, i guess.] obv it can be understood “as is” & ya dont hafta listen to me at all. Id just phrase it: effects of c. stress on Et0H reward, & related, behavrs on mice w high (&?or?) low Et0H pref.(s) 2/2 /&sorry 4 abbrvtns. Again, sorry for butchering last ask for the sake of the word limit. :( And if this is anyway unwanted feedback please just ignore it i was just like “hmm.. good. But can it be better?” (Although its entirely contestable whether i have the ability to help w doing that, so… grain of salt for you and hubris check for me. :/) Basically Im not trying to be an ass so please dont take it as an insult if i come off that way. Anyway sorry again and i wish you a firmly halfway decent week or so. :) 3/2

———————————–

hi anon!!! the only campus i have any experience with is UBCO (vs UBC-V) but begrudgingly yes id say id recommend it (i mean im suffering but who isnt at uni)- i chose it because its close to my family n didnt put a lot of thot into the choice but its a nice relatively quiet campus! i know the vancouver campus is a lot of people’s first choice for obvious reasons (its huge, campus is beautiful, does a lot of research etc etc) but i personally HATE busy places and i can barely walk through downtown van without having a panic attack. my classes don’t go over 150 students and are typically smaller than that… a lot of the professors are professionals in the field who do lab-work on campus so if you’re looking for those kind of experiences there definitely are opportunities if you look for them. Ofc some of my professors have been pretty shit but id say the majority teach well. Because its a ‘small’ school majors/courses are more limited than what you would have at UBC-V or UVIC; for instance i would have preferred to major in immunology (rather than micro) but its not recognized as a major on this campus. 

and thanks for trying to help me w/ the title slide! i agree its not a great title, its too wordy and confusing bc i abbreviated it just because this is a wip. Its the title of a paper tho so ill just be writing the exact title and include author n year and all that! (heres the paper if u want). if this was research/a meta-analysis i was doing on my own id definitely take ur advice and make it more clear :^)

[pure--vixen]

I’d like to open up a little door in my chest

Shrink down small and climb inside

I would like to go and visit my heart and tell her she’s going to be alright

 I’d like to do that because I think that she is lonely

You see it can be hard to go about a day sometimes

And I think it’s because she is pining from inside me

Pining and pining, that’s what I feel

Not coming from my brain no, it’s coming from deep down inside me.

 I wish I could climb in my chest through a little door and bring her flowers

Its important to have things looking nice around you

Yellow flowers, yellow and pink

Open up the windows and let the sun shine in

That would be nice, I think.

 Maybe my heart needs a little cat

I couldn’t bring my Fee because I need him outside with me

If I could find a fairy kitten and smuggle her inside

She can cuddle into my heart and purr

Yes, that would help her feel alright I’m sure

 I would sit down beside her with a glass of wine

And say don’t mind that boy, my darling child

He didn’t treat you right

you love him still and wish him the best

I know I know baby, I know, I do, but now it’s time to lay those days to rest.

 You’re a beautiful, beautiful heart, you know

Just look how much you have grown

“You have felt a lot of hurt!”, she said. Do you hear them words! And so you have!

Woah.

But look at you go

 Here come on now, let me sing you a song

I love you lots and lots

I’ll take you to the icy sea and I’ll dive right in

I can feel you beating hard and fast as I swim

You’re laughing from the inside, feeling wild and alive,

There is lots of magic still to be seen isn’t there!

All around the world and into outer space

And we are together every step of the way

I’ll mind you now, I’ll mind you from now on

I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you like that again

 I’m sorry I didn’t stop him being cruel to you, his kisses were just too nice

He knew it all, and I knew nothing,

him; a scientist and me; one of the lab mice

So of course, I needed him to mind me and teach me or I else would be left alone with them

 I realise now that I cared more for someone else’s heart than my own,

Even though his had more than enough love already, from his family of scientists and kings

How many A’s did you get in the leaving cert? His doctor sister asked me, knowingly and cruelly, sitting in silence when it wasn’t impressive to enough for her. “Pleb, you’ve never had bruschetta”. And his dad had no time for me.

 It was you that needed nurturing, my heart, it was you that needed love, and he used that to his advantage,

So he would forever be on the other side of your bridge.

“Here lets swap, you have my heart and I’ll have yours”.

He tricked me you see, he said that’s how love is supposed to be.

 There I was holding his heart in my hands all day,

But it turned out that all along it was just imaginary

That heart of his, I don’t think I ever had it at all.

Some sort of pretend plastic one that he gave me.

Where is it now, after I filled it with all my love?

Away across the sea, far from me

In some new girl’s hands probably.

 Oh, but he was funny, he really, really had me

I miss him sometimes too, but it’s not meant to be.

 I should have held you closer, and cared that you, my heart, were bleeding

Bleeding in his hands, he’d say “What?!!! No that’s red paint! Are you crazy? How dare you, how dare you. Shows what you think of me!”

Oh….maybe.

“Are you deaf? Are you blind? You don’t appreciate me!”

No I think you’re the best, you’re the best in the whole wide world, I really don’t think there’s anyone as good as you, I want to marry you and be with you forever please stop its nothing to do with that please listen I’m bleeding right now, I’m bleeding please

“You’re an eijit. I don’t deserve this. I’m breaking up with you”.

I’m sorry. I am crazy, I am. I’m just crazy.

 I still don’t really get why he needed to own you so completely

When he never wanted to give the same back to me

That plastic heart just hid that there was something up with his real one

Though I know you would have loved that one just as wholly.

 It must have been scarring to have been treated like that

He finally discarded you and broke you in half,

when he left you on the cold hard chair,

To get up and ask her to dance, and never came back.

 Meanwhile I was off in Edinburgh, unknowing, whispering devotion to his plastic heart, not connected at all to my own. You were all alone, freezing slow.

  It took me so long to find you again

When he came over to end things, he didn’t bring you with him.

Oh, how he saw me cry, a shell of a thing,

He had you buried in the sand on a beach, just so he could still come by and get his kick,

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

You see, sometimes when a boy can’t let you go, it has nothing to do with love for you at all.

 I see now, for a love to last; I need to love me.

I allowed my puzzle to burn away

The picture and the box, dropped into the fire

Until I was just one tiny puzzle piece

Made to fit into his success story, conveniently

And so naturally,

He used me like a football

It’s really no surprise at all

In fact, I needed to have this fall

To see just how special you are after all

Now I see the picture on the box again

I’m a statue, a piece of art on the mend

Always growing, always changing

But no guy will ever be able to come with a chisel and chip me away again

They’ll look and know that I’m not messing but still know that I am kind

I know who I am, and I have true friends

We play our tune loud and proud

We encourage everyone to crazy dance, love and laugh

That’s what brings the right people in.

 Oh love, don’t you cry, let’s get a good sleep tonight

I know how strong you are throughout the day

So, it’s okay, that now that everyone is sleeping, you admit that right now you wish there was someone to hold you.

 Oh, my heart, you are what is most important and I know that now

If I could climb inside and give you kisses I would

I would dance around you in circles and hype you up

You beautiful, incredible, magical beast

You’re not broken at all

No, you are mending fast now and you are so strong

I don’t want any other heart but you

I am so proud of you

 when I play songs, you’re the one who sings them

when I listen to music, you’re the one who feels it

when I look at a person, a poem, a movie, a view you’re the one who sees them

when I’m laughing, you’re the one who swells for a minute and reminds me to feel blessed

where there is evil, you can search and find the love

I haven’t given you enough credit all these years

You’re the one who helps me live

 If I do some day meet a man in many years to come

I won’t be giving you away easily

I will not let him keep you in his pocket

No, you are staying with me.

But if he’s right

It won’t even matter anyways

Because he’ll have the key to the little door in my chest won’t he!

 But most importantly now I see

The one you love the very most

Is me!

you have been with me for my whole life, beating fast and beating slow, through every song and every show

you exist to help me BE

It’s me and you throughout this life

And we will make it great

we have a lot to give,

Let’s live and love all around us forever

And try to spread magic and shine so bright

You deserve the world

And so do I

 Oh, if I could climb right in my chest and give you a hug

For everything that is past and all that is yet to come,

know that I would, know that I would.