#anyways yeah we got a tooth and i’m psyched

[ginalinettiofficial]

BABY I HAS A TOOTH !!!!!

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 2

insomniac

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: insomnia, nightmares, (remembering) death, panic attack, cuddling, fluff

AN: Here she is!! I’ve decided to give oc a little ~tragic backstory~ and I really hope it comes across like I’ve intended. I wouldn’t go so far as to call in angst, necessarily, but there’ll definitely be some in the future. Also, I know I’ve painted Annie and Reiner in a really bad light so far in this particular fic, but please know that’s not how I view them in canon at all - it’s simply because someone had to be the bad guy:( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always don’t hesitate to reach out via reblog/ask with any suggestions/feedback/questions!! ~valkyrie

(read Part 1.5 here)

Bodies jostle against you in the darkness to the beat of music you can’t hear.  The buzzing gets louder, drowning out even your own screams for them to stop.

Stop. Stop. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!

“STOP IT!” You can hear yourself this time, your voice embarrassingly loud in the cramped room. You slap hands over your mouth but everyone’s already turned to look at you, disgusted at the display of emotion. Even they peel their faces apart to sneer down their noses.

“Why should we?” Annie’s voice rings with superiority, swirling around the space and nestling in the crook of your neck. You shudder away, but the faceless bodies shove you back.

“Don’t you know this is your fault, anyway? You weren’t enough for me.” Reiner jeers with a satisfied smirk. The whole room laughs, cackling and giggling spitefully. You can’t move, muscles frozen, as they turn back to each other and continue making out. His hand in her hair, her thigh hooked over his hip, obscenely wet noises from their joined mouths.

You scream and scream and scream, jaw wide and aching, and all of a sudden the scene shifts and you’re at your mother’s bedside. Your breath hitches and you’re screaming in a child’s voice this time.

“Mommy, Mommy, no, please, no, MOMMY, PLEASE--”

Your hand twitches towards her and its movement against soft sheets brings you back to consciousness.

You’re spread-eagled in bed, comforter kicked almost completely off, chest heaving.

“One. Two. Three. Four…” you count in a hoarse whisper to yourself, staring out the window at gently falling snow illuminated in yellow streetlights. It takes you to one hundred and twenty-seven before you’re calm enough to do anything productive. 

You reach out a blind hand to find your phone on the nightstand and raise it up to check the time. 4:47 am. Nearly three hours of sleep.

Eh, good enough for jazz.

You heave a sigh, then push up to sit on the edge of your bed and flick on the lamp. The sudden bright light makes you squint against sharp pain behind your eyes and turn away in search of a sweatshirt. Some sifting through the ever-growing pile of laundry later, you settle on a green university hoodie and pull it on over your ratty tank top. Your toes and fingers always feel like icicles after waking up from a nightmare, so you find faux fur-lined slippers as well.

As you push past your bedroom door and into the living room, a figure in the comfy armchair catches the corner of your eye.

You nearly jump out of your skin before recognizing who it is. “Christ on a cracker, Levi! Nearly scared me half to death.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry as he marks the page in his book and sets it on the coffee table.

“What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Well that’s not ominous or anything,” you mutter with an eye roll as you cross to the kitchen and set the kettle to boil for coffee.

Levi sighs and pinches the bridge of his elegant nose.

“Sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just… I noticed you haven’t been sleeping much lately and I’m worried.” He crosses to sit at the kitchen table and speaks to your back as you shuffle around the kitchen.

“What do you mean? Of course I’ve been sleeping. Whaddaya think I was just doing?”

“It’s five am, and you were still up when I went to sleep at twelve. Optimistically, that’s four hours of sleep. And yesterday you went to bed after one, but Hange said you were texting her at five-thirty, and--”

“Jeez, what, have you been stalking me or something?” you ask with an incredulous glance over your shoulder.

“We live together. It’s kind of hard not to notice.” Levi’s tone is the usual dry you’ve come to expect, but there’s an undercurrent that you’re too exhausted to pinpoint. “And Hange also told me she’s been worried.”

“What is this, an intervention? Just because I break up with someone I’m suddenly incapable of functioning?” Your voice (and headache) rises with each phrase, cracking on the morning dryness in the air, and you spin to face him.

“I didn’t say that, I--”

“Am I just supposed to wallow in misery for the rest of my life? No. I’m not doing that, Levi, I’m moving on. I-- I’m a busy woman, I’ve got finals and, and internship applications, and I happen to enjoy waking up early. I like watching the sunrise.” Though your words are rushed and you’re gesturing animatedly, uncertainty seeps through the stuttered phrases in your argument.

Levi lets you finish, then returns in a measured voice: “Why are you so defensive about this? I know you’re busy. So am I. But I manage to get more than four hours of sleep at night. I just want to help.”

His statement hangs in the air like dust mites, swirling around you and clinging to the sticky after-effects of the nightmare in your mind. You frown and drop your eyes to the linoleum, guilt settling into the stickiness.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Your voice is much softer. “I just--” A deep sigh. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why?”

The simple question makes your breath stutter and you scrub a hand down your face in an effort to ground your skin into reality.

“It’s so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper. “I have these nightmares. About my mom. I got them when I was younger, too, but eventually they just sort of… stopped. But now they’re back. And I can’t ever get back to sleep after, so I just stopped bothering to try.”

“You know, sometimes I get nightmares, too.”

The admission catches you off guard, your eyes widening. Levi always seems so… steady and sure, you wouldn’t have expected it.

“Really?”

He nods. “About my mom and the foster homes.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you…” Your heart sinks, and you don’t know how to say you’re sorry for the heartbreak he must’ve lived through with any semblance of tact.

“Yeah. It’s not something I talk about much.”

“Right.” You pause and chew on your tongue thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you have...strategies for when you can’t sleep because of them?”

“I have sleeping pills from my psychiatrist and some meditation practices that work for me. I can send you some resources, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d really appreciate that if it’s not a bother.” You feel kind of sheepish now, for raising your voice, and so try to sound extra thankful for his help.

“It’s not.” He stands up and stretches both arms over his head, tipping his face up to the sky, lean body arching and twisting with the effort of it.  “I’ll send them to you later today. I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“Okay. Thank you, Levi.”

He nods and yawns, nose scrunching adorably. “Night, kid.”

“Good night.”

As his bedroom door clicks shut, you sigh yet again and turn off the stove. The first thing to avoid is probably coffee.

--

Your fingers flick off last rivulets of water as you step out of the shower. A shiver rattles its way up your spine before you can grab a towel to dry off. Bless Levi, he had done laundry today and the towel is still dryer-warm, smelling of his favorite fabric softener.

As you go through your evening routine (tooth brushing, face washing, hair drying), you can feel a quiet tension set into your shoulders despite the humidity of the bathroom.

The day had gone okay. You managed to resist coffee until 8 am and cut yourself off at 3. A lecture and a studio in the morning left the afternoon for library studying and a trip to the grocery store. 

You had actually seen Bertholdt there, in the cereal aisle. You hadn’t been too keen on having that particular conversation, but luckily he hadn’t seemed to be either. The pair of you exchanged sympathetically awkward smiles before turning back to the Cheerios. 

The evening consisted of ordering chinese takeout while obsessing over your latest architecture design project, followed by convincing Hange over the phone not to sleep in the mouse lab for extra credit.

“But Bean will be lonely!” she insisted hysterically. “And Sonny wasn’t looking too hot in lab today, what if he needs his mommy and I’m not there?”

“You’re not their mommy,” you reminded her. “They have each other to keep them company, and if Sonny dies, won’t it support your hypothesis anyway?”

She had eventually acquiesced when you promised to help her plan a memorial should they pass in the night.

So now here you are, skin slowly drying, as you psych yourself up in the mirror to go to sleep.

“It won’t be bad. Just use the meditations Levi sent you.” You try to inject confidence into your voice, but you only end up grimacing at yourself in the mirror. “Ah, fuck it.”

You tuck your towel in firmly around your chest and double check to see your things are put away before going back to your room.

As you pass, you hesitate by Levi’s door for a moment. His normal studying music, Chopin, is on and light creeps out from underneath. Another moment of uncertainty, then you gently knock and poke your head in.

“Levi?” He raises his head from where he’s hunched over an easel, paint brush in hand. Brow furrowed and body tensed like a strung bow, he doesn’t look happy to be interrupted.

Fuck.

“I, uhm, just wanted to say good night.”

He grunts and turns back to the painting.

You take that as your cue to leave.

Back in the sanctuary of your own room, you curse again and kick your desk chair, sending it rolling a couple inches.

Why had you bothered him? To say good night?

“Stupid, stupid, UGH.” Your dramatic outburst ends in flopping face-first into bed. Just because he felt concerned enough to stage a fucking intervention doesn’t mean he’s your fucking nanny. Idiot.

Eventually, you roll over and get up to change into pajamas. 

Settling into bed, you open your newly downloaded meditation app and start an audio.

“As you prepare for your meditation practice today, find a comfortable position sitting or lying down where you can fully relax….”

The cool female voice wraps your mind in a hazy blanket of fog and eventually coaxes your body into an achingly needed sleep.

--

This time the dream wakes you up whimpering into your pillow, arms flung above your head as though you’re skydiving. With a sucking breath, you lift your head to prevent imminent suffocation and instead settle on your side, staring unblinkingly into the darkness. Breath ragged in your chest, your mind can’t seem to move past the last image of your nightmare.

It’s burned into your retinas when you close your eyes and etched onto the moonlight-pale wall when they’re open: your mom’s pallid face staring up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of  her blue embroidered duvet cover, chest still.

A sob escapes your unwilling throat and you’re scrambling to sit up and reach for the lamp. The lamplight suddenly reminds you of your own existence in the physical plane, thrusting all your senses into sharp contrast.

Her greying, thinning hair, the frailty in her fingers, the cracks in her lips, the cloying scent of death.

“Nonononononononono,” you moan, hunched over your knees, fingers tangled in your hair. Your stomach is hollow, chest tight, tears now flowing in earnest. It hasn’t been this bad in a long time, not since 7th grade at least.

Do something, do something, you stupid bitch, your mind is yelling at you, and so you force your body to move. Somewhere, anywhere other than here.

You practically fall out of bed and then lean heavily on your desk to compensate for shaking knees as you move to the door. Feet shuffle in the darkness and all of a sudden you’re sniffling outside Levi’s door, fingers in a deathgrip on your shirt. One, two breaths and you knock three hesitant raps.

Fuck. Shit. Instant regret bubbles up in your throat and you pivot away. Before you can get far, the door opens and you hear Levi’s sleep-ragged voice utter your name like a question. Damn.

You turn back sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve woken you up. Go back to bed.” Your voice is unnaturally breathy as Levi tries to make you out in the dim light of the moon filtering in through the living room window. 

He reaches for your shoulder to gently pull you out of the shadows, and realization crosses his face as he registers the tear tracks and haunting terror in your eyes.

“It happened again,” he states.

You nod hesitantly and wipe at your cheeks with the back of one hand. You try again to tell him that no, really, you’re fine and he should go back to bed, but the words get lost in the tangle of truths between your brain and mouth.

Instead, what comes out is: “Can… can I sleep with you?” Your eyes finally flick to his before you quickly follow up. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I just- it helps to have someone close….”

Levi watches you for a moment before sliding his hand from your shoulder to your hand and tugging gently.

“Come on.”

You follow him inside and fidget awkwardly at the side of his bed as he climbs in. His room is impeccably neat, not that you would expect anything different from the man who once gave you a five minute lecture about leaving dishes in the sink to soak. It was the most words you’d heard him string together at the time, and he only stopped when he realized you were laughing.

“You sound like my Great Aunt Cheryl,” you said between hiccups of mirth. “Insufferable woman.”

He had looked at you scathingly, then made you promise never to leave the dishes for later again on pain of changing the wifi password.

Once he’s settled, Levi turns back the covers on your side and looks at you expectantly. You falter a split second before climbing in next to him, the familiar smell of his laundry detergent clouding around you as you fall back into soft pillows. He throws the comforter over you, then settles down and opens his arms.

“C’mere, kid,” he says with a tenderness that makes a sniffle catch in the back of your throat.

You roll into his arms, resting your head in the curve of his shoulder and breathe the first easy breath since you woke up. An arm flung around his middle means your whole body is against his, warming you up like a midafternoon nap in August.

Levi settles his arm around your back after tucking in the blankets and holds you like you’ve always belonged there. He gradually, gradually feels you relax into him as your breathing begins to match his own.

After a while, your eyes droop closed and Levi allows himself the indulgence of tucking his nose into your hair. A bouquet of lavender shampoo and you accompanies him softly into his dreams.

--

(read part 3 here)

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (10)

In Which Marinette Says the Thing

I was the most excited about this chapter and had most of it written already. :)

Also, I bumped up the rating a bit because there’s extremely mild nudity in this chapter. 

(Ao3 | FF.net)

—

She looked fierce. Nails done, a cute, white skirt (that she hadn’t spilled her breakfast on!) and a red and white polka dot blouse. She was cute, she was hot, and she was ready to nab her man! 

Said man walked into class wearing...

Oh boy. 

A leather jacket, with no shirt underneath, a kilt, and knee high combat boots. There was not a single person that didn’t stare at him. 

“Sup nerds?” 

Nino entered with him, slightly chuckling, like he had heard a very funny inside joke. 

Marinette gawked at him. “Adrien...” 

“Aww! Pooh Bear! Look at how cute you are!” 

Marinette’s initial horror in his appearance turned into excitement. He called her cute! 

“Adrien, do we have to have this dress code talk again?” Miss Bustier sighed. 

It turned out he did have a shirt on under the jacket. A black button-up. He untucked the flaps, and buttoned them, unevenly, to cover his sweet sweet bod. “Better?” 

Miss Bustier shook her head, but urged him to sit down. 

“Soooo,” Alya asked, with a wiggling eyebrow. “Are you wearing that kilt...properly?” 

He grabbed the hem, squeezing his knees together to shuffle shyly. “You wanna see?” 

Marinette burst into color. “Adrien!” 

He laughed, “oh, I’m just kidding. I’m wearing boxers under this.” 

“Alright everyone, get in your seats, it’s time to start!” 

—

Marinette tried to do her very best to stay calm. But the very idea that a confession to Adrien would be happening today kept her distracted. 

She stared at him, watching as he scrawled notes...in Chinese? He really was an overachiever! 

The day passed in a crawl, Marinette fretting every minute. 

Then the lunch bell rang, and students began to pack up for break. 

“Adrien?” She blurted, her hands shaking. 

He turned and looked at her, grinning, and lowering his sunglasses to flash her half-lidded eyes. “You rang?” 

“Um...can we talk together? Er, go somewhere together to talk? I have something I want to tell you.” 

His grin turned into a full tooth smile. “Of course! Where to?” 

“Um...mom’s got stuff for sandwiches, if you want to come over.” 

“Sounds wonderful!” He packed up his bag, and then held out his hand for her. 

He wanted to hold her hand! Ah! 

Nervously smiling, she put her hand in his, and let him lead her from the room. 

At the risk of having a horribly awkward lunch, she took the lead, and led him upstairs to the slowly emptying third floor. 

“What’s up here?” 

“I...can’t wait anymore. If this makes things weird, you could probably catch up with Nino or the guys...” 

He very gently touched her cheek. “I told you I wanted to have lunch with you, and I will. So say whatever you have to say.” He took his sunglasses off and put them on his head. 

Marinette took a huge breath. “Now, I just need to know...who is the real you? Are you...is this who you are, and you were suppressing the rebellious, chaotic side? Or are you putting on a show?” 

He blinked at her, eyes wide. “Whatever do you mean?” 

“I mean...I support whoever you are. I want you to feel free to be you, and celebrate what makes you special, but...” she tucked some hair behind her ear, a nervous motion. “I just miss the boy I fell in love with.” 

“Marinette...” 

“I love you no matter what, though! I promise! I just...your kindness, your shy sweetness and honesty really captivated me. That day when you gave me your umbrella, and you went out of your way to apologize for the misunderstanding. You didn’t have to. I was the one that jumped to conclusions, but you wanted to make friends and get on the right foot with me. Your laughter, your smile...I was a goner.” She hugged the strap of her purse. “So this new version of you has been jarring, but...if I’ve been reading your signs right...?” 

He pulled her into a hug. “Oh Marinette. Sweet, kind, thoughtful Marinette. You’ve figured me out. This is all an act. Except my attitude towards you. I feel the same.” 

“You...love me?” 

“Yes. More than I can express.” 

She raised her head, tilting her chin and slowly closing her eyes. 

The gag kiss during truth or dare was one thing, but Adrien would kill Plagg if he kissed Marinette in earnest like this. 

Instead, he pressed a finger to her lips and smiled at her confused look. “Not yet. The timing isn’t right. If I could give you the world, I would. In fact, anything else, I’ll give it to you. You have my heart, and that will be yours as long as you want it. But I don’t think you want a relationship right now.” 

“I’m confused...” Marinette said, her lips trembling. 

“I want to protect you from my father and Lila. If I make you my girlfriend, they will try to hurt you to get to me. I’d hate to ask you to wait for me, since you’ve finally gotten the courage up to confess...but would you wait?” 

Marinette reached up to hold his face, letting her thumb pass reverently over his cheek. How had she gotten so lucky to fall for a man so thoughtful? So loving? 

“Adrien, I’d wait a hundred years to be with you. It’ll be our secret for now.” 

He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted more from the conversation-“ 

“Just knowing my feelings are returned are enough. Thank you.” 

He took her hand again. “You still want to feed me sandwiches? Do I still deserve it?” 

“Of course you do...My Prince.” 

Plagg almost retched, but he schooled his face into an adoring grin before he faced her again. “That’s adorable!” 

“You like it?” 

“I love it!” It was just cheesy enough for Adrien. 

“Then that’ll be your nickname...in secret. No one else will know.” 

“I think you’ll come to find that our little secret will be so much more fun between us.” 

—

After lunch, Plagg and Marinette returned to school. They stopped holding hands as they approached the building, but they stood close and bumped each other coyly. 

The behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Alya or Lila. But Alya was the only one to confront them. 

“You two seem close,” she asked, twinkle in her eye. 

“Oh, we just had a very funny lunch together.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yep. Some great inside jokes. You had to be there.” Plagg sent a wink at Marinette and she seemed to swoon on the spot. 

Plagg let her go back to her seat, ignoring the whispering from the girls behind him. 

They thought he couldn’t hear them. He could. 

Nino bumped his elbow. “Everything cool dude?” 

“Absolutely. I’ll tell you later.” 

—

Later came after school, of course. The second Plagg and Nino were away from school property, Plagg blurted out, “I’m a genius. I got Marinette to confess her undying love for Adrien. Boo-yah!” 

“What?!” Nino shrieked. “Dude! She’s been trying to get that out for months! How on earth—no, wait. I know the answer.” 

“Confidence.” 

“And obvious flirting.” Nino scoffed. “Adrien always threw out the line, ‘you’re such a good friend’ in front of her. It was like wearing a big sign that said, ‘I will reject you!’” 

“I’m right here, you know,” Adrien said, poking his head out of Plagg’s jacket. “And to my defense, I was trying to be faithful to—“

Plagg covered his mouth before he could accidentally reveal Marinette as Ladybug. “No excuses, lover boy!” 

Thankfully, Adrien seemed to realize the mistake he almost made and nodded. “Fine, fine. I appreciate that you didn’t kiss her...again. So now what? Have we fulfilled that part of the contract yet?” 

“Not quite.” He held up the ring. A paw print with three pads faintly shone on the surface. “Once a condition is met, you’ll hear the ring give its telltale beep and a pad will disappear. Once the paw print completely vanishes...well, you’ll be back in your own body anyway.” 

“So...what do I need to do? She already confessed to me.” 

This was a conversation better had without Nino involved. Of course he was a bro, and would be helpful for things. But Ladybug’s identity should still remain a secret. 

“Nino...” Plagg began, with a drawl. “How much do you know about the birds and the bees?” 

Nino sputtered. “HA! BYE!” And he made an about face and hurried towards home. 

“Wait Nino!” Called Adrien. 

“We’ll meet up with you later!” Plagg sang after. 

Adrien looked to his body. “Please tell me you don’t have to...get up to some nasty stuff with my lady. Sure, it’s my body, but you’re like a bazillion years old and I was rather hoping to wait until marriage—“ 

“Calm down, Romeo. No, there’s not any hanky panky involved. I just needed to get Nino to leave without saying, ‘hey leave’. If he’s going to be suspicious, I need him on a whole other wavelength.” 

“Okay, so if there’s no horizontal tango happening, then what are we doing?” 

Plagg slipped the ring off his finger. “You need to spend time with her. Tell her or don’t. Just spend time with her outside of school and akumas and get to know her better. For an alibi, tell her that you haven’t been feeling well and you need to be in proximity of the Miracle Box. Then have her send her earrings to me so things stay even.” 

“Will she go for that?” 

“Probably. You know her better than I do.” 

“What about the ring? Don’t you need to wear it because we’re switched?”

“Nah. It should be alright for a little while. It should stay with my body though.” 

“Okay...I guess...I’ll go see Marinette.” 

“Have fun!” Plagg wiggled his fingers in a farewell and started walking to where Nino had disappeared. 

Nervous as all get out, Adrien fled to the bakery, trying to figure out what he was going to tell Marinette. 

When was it appropriate to come clean? How long should he wait? Should he blab at all? 

Soon, he was hovering above her trap door, and peering inside. Marinette sat at her desk, music playing as she worked on homework. Her head bobbed to some tunes. 

“Okay, she thinks you’re Plagg. So she’ll welcome you in and listen to what you tell her. And if she finds out you’re Adrien, then she loves Adrien and everything will be fine. Right? Right!” He psyched himself up. 

Using his poorly practiced phasing powers, he entered her room and came to float by her desk. “Hiya pigtails!” He chirped, in the typical Plagg style. 

She jerked, before turning to him. Her eyes landed on the ring and widened with surprise. “Why do you have that?! Is Chat okay?! What’s wrong?!” She stood, and nearly knocked over her chair. 

Even Tikki looked surprised. 

“Everything is fine!” He rushed to rectify. Then he remembered Plagg’s crafted lie. “Mostly. I haven’t been feeling very good, so I think I need to be closer to the Miracle Box for a little bit. I brought the ring for you, if you would send Tikki to Chat for a little while. That way he’s covered in case there’s an Akuma attack.” 

Luckily, she bought his dirty fib and started to remove her earrings. “Oh, well if you aren’t feeling well, that means Chat won’t be in top form. We can’t have that! Of course we can trade!” She took the earrings off and handed them to Tikki, before putting on the ring. 

Adrien felt a tingle down his spine as the black metal turned rose gold on her dainty finger. 

“Is he at home?” Asked Tikki. 

“No, come with me, I’ll tell you.” And he escorted her up to the balcony. 

“Did Plagg put you up to this?” She asked, once outside. “This seems like one of his hair brained schemes.” 

“I mean...he came up with the excuse...but I thought Marinette’s confession today would fulfill one of the conditions of the contract, but it didn’t. Plagg said I should just spend time with her.” 

Thankfully, Tikki was the nice one. She patted his paws. “I’m sure you miss her too. I won’t say anything. But I will be having a word with Plagg about this whole thing. He should know that body swaps don’t always work!” 

“Don’t tell me that! I’m struggling as it is!” 

“Sorry!” She giggled. “Why don’t you go on in. Be prepared though. She’s been all sighs since ‘Adrien’ returned her feelings today.” 

If he could blush, he would have. “Oh boy...” 

“Where am I going?”

“Oh, Plagg is staying with Nino now. He left home. And uhhh...Nino knows. About me, not Marinette.” 

She scoffed. “That rascal.” 

“Thanks for understanding, Tikki.” 

“I’m understanding with you, because you’re the victim of a manipulative, chaotic creature of destruction and havoc.” 

“He can be a bit of a turd.” 

“What am I doing? You could be spending time with the love of your life! Now, go on!” Tikki pushed him towards the door before flitting off to Nino’s. 

Suddenly faced with seeing Marinette again, and continuing to lie to her face, he sheepishly returned to her room. 

She had ducked out for the moment, and he found himself alone. 

Alone, but surrounded by dozens of pictures of himself. 

Knowing about her crush put these photos in a different context, for sure. 

“Just a fan” she said. She was a big fat liar too! 

“Adorable, isn’t he?” Her voice grabbed him while he was off guard. 

“Uhhh...I guess? For a human?” 

She giggled, and set down the plate of cheese danishes onto her desk. “That’s Adrien. He’s kind of my boyfriend. It’s not official yet, but he loves me.” She smiled widely. “He told me just today.” 

“‘Kind of’ your boyfriend? You’re okay with that?” 

“He can’t date right now because of his father. But he asked me to wait for him. I’d wait a thousand years for him.” 

His heart hammered in his chest. “What about three years? What if he can’t date until he’s 18?” 

“That’s fine.” She said nonchalantly. “We can still hang out. We can focus on school and drama doesn’t have to come between us...” 

“And if someone else available comes along?”

Marinette couldn’t know the real reason he was asking that question. She just fondly patted his head. “Sorry Plagg. I know you care a lot about Chat, but Adrien...Adrien means the world to me. I love Chat too, but in a different way. And he’s not available, not to me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Chat will always just be my partner. Can only be my partner. We couldn’t date if I wanted too. It would be too difficult.” She sat back at her desk and sighed. “It would hurt too much.” 

Adrien was struck speechless. How was he even supposed to respond to that? Was that an admission that she actually did have some feelings for Chat Noir? 

It didn’t matter. Not now. “I didn’t mean to put you on the offensive. I was just...curious, is all. I’m happy you’ve found someone who loves you.” 

She smiled at him then, scooping him out of the air and scratching his cheek with her finger. “Thanks Plagg. I hope I didn’t come off as snooty. I know you care about Chat. But he can fight his own battles.” 

Her words made him feel like garbage. She had no idea, of course. Because up until the body swap, Adrien’s battles were not being fought. They were purposefully not being fought, because he was too chicken shit to upset anyone. 

“Yeah...he’s brave alright...” he muttered. 

Marinette settled down at her desk and continued on her homework. 

What was a boy to do? He sat on the desk, and helped himself to the cheese danishes. 

They were almost worth the trip over here by themselves. 

“Enjoying yourself?” Marinette asked, eyebrow quirked. 

At that, Adrien realized with thinly veiled horror that he had been moaning. 

Eek. 

“These are the most delicious things I’ve ever had!” Or maybe it was because Plagg had only fed him Camembert until now. Sure, Plagg’s taste buds were attuned to the foul stuff, but after a while, the same foods over and over get old. 

Marinette just smiled at him fondly and continued with her work. 

Would it be odd to look at her? Would she notice? He certainly found it hard to look away. He couldn’t stare at her during school. Not as Plagg, and not as Adrien from now on. 

She tapped her pencil against her perfectly kissable lips, scrunching her nose and narrowing her eyes as she studied the page. It was adorable, but more so, it was the same face she made as Ladybug, when she was trying to solve her Lucky Charm. 

Was it hindsight? Or if he saw Marinette making that face, would he have realized it? 

Would he have cared enough to look at her?

Of course he would! He argued with himself. Marinette was always special, and her being Ladybug only elevated her in his mind. It was a match that made sense. Of course she was Ladybug. No one else could be so…wonderful. 

But faced with her, and not knowing what to say or how to begin to explain the truth, he had to ask himself the tell tale question:

Did he like Marinette now because she was Ladybug? Or did he always like her, and was only in denial?

He begged it was the second. It had to be. 

Her qualities were the same. There was nothing about Marinette that made him recoil or actively deny her identity. 

Scratch that, Marinette was ridiculously clumsy. 

But besides that, they were the same. 

“Thinking about something tough over there?” Marinette asked. 

“Huh? Oh. Uh...yeah. You know how it is.” Like that made any sense. 

“Right. Like I could understand the problems of a Kwami.” She teased. “If you need to talk, I’m all ears.” 

Soon. Soon he’d explain everything. But right now, he was just too nervous and scared of her wrath. “Thanks Marinette. I appreciate it. But I don’t want to distract you from your homework.” 

She shrugged a little, not wanting to pry, before going back to work. 

Adrien and Marinette shared the cheese danishes, and occasionally talked as she worked. When she got severely stuck, he would throw her a few hints. 

Then she stretched, finished. “Oh thank goodness! I’m so tired, and I could use a lazy evening.” 

“Marinette! Dinner time!” 

“Well, after dinner, I’d like a lazy evening.” She scratched Adrien’s head. “Let’s just hope there’s no Akuma attack.” 

“Fingers crossed!” 

“You’ll be fine up here alone?” 

“Of course. Have fun with your parents.” 

“Oh,” she wilted. “Should I tell them about Adrien?” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m just scared that my nosy parents will ask a hundred questions. And we’re not even official.” 

“Maybe by mentioning it now, when it becomes official, it won’t be much of a shock.”

“And maybe we can avoid another disaster like when my dad got akumatized. You’re right.” She couldn’t help but sigh. “Well, I’ll tell you how it goes!” And she went downstairs. 

Adrien sat on her desk, scanning the walls and taking in all of his pictures. She really loved him, didn’t she? 

And how long had that gone on, and he never noticed? 

Was it okay to snoop? Of course morally and ethically, no, it wasn’t. But he was technically her sort of boyfriend. It couldn’t hurt. 

Right?

So he snooped. Just a precursory glance through her belongings. It was all very innocent. 

Until he found the pink half-circle book. Her diary. 

Maybe it was the influence of Plagg’s magic in him. Or this whole experience was turning him into a rascal. 

But he opened the book and started to read. 

The entries were pretty innocent too. Day to day things, balancing life as a superhero and a student. She mentioned him a few times. Using phrases like, ‘golden hair’, ‘handsome face’, ‘emerald eyes’, and ‘abundant kindness’. She wrote about the times they interacted. From him catching her when she tripped, to the glances they shared. Just the smallest interactions between them, she cherished. 

It almost made his heart hurt with how moved he was. 

And then there was an entry whose content made him feel a different sort of pain. She recounted a day he had not experienced. Her encounter with his akuma, Chat Blanc. 

He read the pages, soaking up every heart breaking moment. All the cruel things he had said to her that he would have never known. Why hadn’t she said anything? Was it too painful? Or did…

Did she think he didn’t need to know?

The diary slammed shut as he was finishing the entry, and a very angry and embarrassed Marinette stood over him, glaring. “Little snoop.” 

“Yeah yeah, cats and curiosity and all that. So sue me.” 

She took the book away and put it in a box with a lid. “Remind me never to leave you alone in my room ever again.” 

“Aw, you’re no fun.” 

She walked away, heading to her dresser. “Are you like this with Chat, too?”

“Oh, I’m much worse. You have no idea.” 

She laughed at him, and took her pajamas out of her drawers. 

Then without warning, she took off her pants. 

And Adrien’s mouth went dry. He watched as she slipped on her pajama pants, and then took off her shirt, and even her bra, before putting on a loose t-shirt. 

He was not going to get that image out of his head for a long, long time. 

She turned to him and started talking like nothing had happened. “So what do you want to do? I’m all done with homework, and so as long as there’s no Akuma attack, I can do whatever I want. What do you and Chat usually do?” 

Adrien didn’t know how to tell her he didn’t really have free time. Plagg just looked up cheese blogs on his phone, or watched a movie while Adrien worked on homework. 

“You pick. I’ll just watch if you want to play video games or design.” 

“I’m actually kind of tired. I might just watch videos in bed.” 

“Sounds fun! Can I join?”

“Sure! Whatever you want, Plagg.” Marinette climbed her ladder up to her loft and settled against her pillows. She pulled a fuzzy blanket around her legs and sighed in content. “Just what the doctor ordered!”

Adrien hesitated a moment, trying to decide where to sit. Her shoulder? Her stomach?

But Marinette took the choice away and patted her chest, just above her heart.

Eagerly, he settled, curling his tail around his body, and absorbing her body heat. She scratched between his ears and made him purr almost instantly. 

This was heaven. When he got his body back, he’d lay his head here. Hopefully, she’d scratch his scalp just the same. 

The videos played on her phone, just memes. Every time she chuckled, her chest would rumble with the noise, and fill him with joy. 

He could hear her heart beating. The heart she had opened for him just today. A heart that he lived in. 

And then her phone started flashing with a red light. And akuma alert!

“Uh oh!” Marinette clicked on the alert, checking out the details. “It’s a sentimonster! Come on Plagg, we can’t leave Misterbug out to dry!”

As she scaled the ladder to her balcony, he panicked. How was this going to work? Was she going to notice once they transformed? Would he be able to hear her thoughts like he could when Plagg transformed?

Would he look through her eyes?

She raised the hand with the ring on it. “Alright! Plagg, Claws out!” 

Nothing happened. 

“Um...Plagg, Claws out?” 

“Oh.” Adrien gasped, “oh no.” 

“Oh no what? Are you broken? Do I need to fix you?” 

“No! I mean—sort of, but you already did your part! I’m just...” 

“Plagg, what’s going on?” 

He sighed, screwing up his lips and unintentionally showing his fangs. “Um...I’m not...I’m not actually Plagg.” 

She stared at him, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing. “Then...who are you?” 

“Promise you won’t be mad?” 

“No guarantees!” 

“Well, okay.” He gulped. “I’m...Adrien?” 

She blinked. “Adrien? Like...no. No no no not like Adrien Agreste, my new supposed boyfriend?!” 

“That’s me! Hi P-Pooh Bear?” 

“What?!” She shrieked. “How?! When?! What—“ she snatched him out of the air with firm hands. “HAVE YOU BEEN ADRIEN THIS WHOLE TIME?” 

“I mean, I’ve been Adrien my whole life,” he awkwardly chuckled. 

“No, no don’t joke with me right now.” She sniffed. “How long have you been like this?” 

“Um...about two weeks now. Since that day he came to school in a crop top.” 

Marinette shut her eyes tight, a few tears slipping past her cheeks. “That long...” 

“Marinette?” 

“So it was all a lie? Plagg’s just—messing with us? With me? You don’t really—“ she squeezed her eyes shut and started crying in earnest. 

“No! No Marinette! Of course I love you! I’ve always loved you, you know that! The second I learned you were Ladybug, everything made sense! I was so happy and I told Plagg he had to win you over. Please Marinette, this was never supposed to be malicious.” He nuzzled against her fingers, offering up a purr. “I promise.” 

With her free hand, she wiped her face. “Alright, well suppose I believe you. What happened? Why are you like this?” 

“I made a deal with the devil. Plagg, specifically. He said he was tired of me complaining all the time. So he said he could solve all my problems if I just agreed to it. Then I woke up in his body.” 

“What problems?” 

“Well...my unrequited love for you, for one.” 

She blushed. 

“My relationship with my father for two, and the third is Lila’s harassment.” 

“Oh, I get it now.” Marinette sighed. “That’s why he was doing all those things...” 

“You mean dressing like a moron and messing with Lila?”

“Yes. And flirting with me.” 

“To be honest,” he scratched the back of his head. “I would have flirted with you earlier if I had known you were Ladybug. I liked you before, I was just trying to pretend I didn’t, because I wanted to be loyal to...well, you.” 

She held him softly in her hands. “We’ve made a mess of things, haven’t we?” 

“It was for our own good. Secret identities and all that.” 

“You almost sound like you just repeat that to yourself, but you don’t believe it.” 

“I had to repeat it to myself,” he urged. “Every day. Because I so desperately wanted to be with you, to spend time with you out of the suit. I was so lonely and I thought, if there was one person I could trust with my identity, it had to be you. But I wanted to honor your wishes. I just hoped to wear you down, eventually.”

She passed her thumb over his cheek and whiskers. “I had been thinking about it, ever since I became the guardian. I wanted to keep you safe, but if something happened to Plagg and you couldn’t transform, no one would know. I’m not upset with you, Kitty. Though I wish this reveal had happened a little more...mutually.” Suddenly, her eyes widened. “What are we doing?! We have a sentimonster!” 

“Aw let him fight on his own! He deserves some sort of punishment for this and I have yet to come up with a good one.” 

She chuckled. “Alright, fine. We’ll give him a few minutes and see how things are going.” 

“You’re taking this better than I expected.” 

“I’m in shock.” She chuckled, a little hysterical. “It took me so much courage to confess…and it wasn’t even to your face. That would happen to me.”

He floated out of her hand and nuzzled her face. “All that matters is that I know. We can’t be together quite yet, but the second I get my body back, I plan to make you mine.” 

“Really?”

“Absolutely, Bugbear.” 

She kissed between his ears. “Okay, My Prince. I look forward to it.” 

The ring on her finger beeped, and a paw pad faded out. 

“What was that?”

Adrien sighed with relief. “The condition has been met.”

“Condition?”

Just then, a swath of Ladybugs rushed over the city, righting whatever the Sentimonster had ruined. 

“Well, looks like he didn’t need our help after all.”

Marinette laughed slightly. “They have been doing this a long time. It probably only took them this long to get it because of travel time.” 

Adrien nodded. “So, just to clarify, you aren’t mad at me?”

“Of course not! It sounds like Plagg tricked you. Though I am mad at you for reading my diary…and watching me change!” 

“In my defense, I was not warned you were going to change.” 

“Still you could have turned around!” She blushed. 

“Sorry, Bugaboo, I guess I was just a little star struck.” 

She bopped him on the nose. “Now don’t try to flatter me to get out of being caught.” 

A yoyo wrapped around the chimney above their heads, and Misterbug made his appearance. His very jarring, ancient appearance. He wore black leggings with a red loincloth around his waist. His shirt was cropped and had billowing sleeves. The mask was just a cloth that tied around his lower face. 

“Well well well, I figured if you weren’t on the battle field, you were busy having a lover’s quarrel.” He smirked, the smile only creasing his eyes. 

Marinette looked to Plagg. “Dearest Sunshine, do you mind terribly if I abuse your body?”

“Be my guest.”

Marinette wound up a punch and socked Plagg right in the shoulder. 

“Ow! Hey, that actually hurt.” 

“I hope you, you monster! How could you hurt my poor, sweet, innocent Adrien!?” She cuddled him close to her cheek.

Plagg scoffed. “Puh-lease. There is nothing innocent about that boy. Spots off.” 

The pink light faded, and Adrien’s body remained. It was almost hard to look at him, even though she knew it wasn’t really Adrien. 

“Oh, now she gets all shy~!” Plagg taunted. “I should have retransformed when I landed. Maybe she wouldn’t have punched me!”

“You deserved it.” Tikki said, flatly. 

“Yeah, whatever. So? How’d it go?” 

Marinette held out the ring. “It beeped?”

“Excellent!” He took it off her finger. “Two to go!” He slipped the ring on and took off the earrings. “Now I just have to focus on Gabriel and Lila. I think Gabe’s getting ready to crack. Lila though, I might have to push a little harder.”

“Thank you for the warning,” Marinette added. “It makes me feel better that I might not have to put up with her for much longer. So I can take a little damage.” 

Adrien frowned. “Can’t I stay with Marinette a while longer?”

Plagg huffed. “I mean you could…but then you couldn’t see the absolute chaos that I planned.”

Adrien winced. “Ugh, fine. I’ll go with you.” He turned to Marinette, pressing a kiss on her cheek. “Bye Bugaboo. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay Kitty. I love you!” 

Adrien’s heart nearly burst with love. “I love you too!” 

“Gross.” Plagg gagged. “Alright, time to go! Adrien, Claws Out!” 

—

Chat Plagg Noir returned to the Lahiffe residence, and swung in through Nino’s window. 

Nino for his part, was nearly dancing in panic. 

“You good, my man?”

Nino shook his head frantically. “There’s a policeman here for you! I tried to stall as long as I could, and said you were asleep and a heavy sleeper! But I think he’s about to burst down my door!”

“A policeman? What for?”

“I don’t know! He just said he had to talk to you!” 

“Claws in.” Plagg walked over to the door, and exited, pensively watching the uniformed man in the living room. 

“Did you have a nice nap?” The man asked, arms crossed. 

“I did, until I was shaken awake. Is there a problem officer?”

“Adrien Agreste, you are under arrest.”

[juniorgman187]

The Bones (Reid Series) Part 2

Summary: After doing an even deeper dive on Valerie’s past, Spencer finally meets her, but his invasiveness isn’t the worst part ... the worst part is he might actually like her. 

Playlist: “The Bones” by Maren Morris & Hozier  (BONUS: song includes major foreshadowing) Category: Series, Fluff, Soft Angst, Eventual smut and *NSFW content Pairing: Spencer Reid POV x Fem!OC - Valerie Content Warning: invasion of privacy, allusions to Maeve’s death, arrhythmia Word Count: 3.4k

Part 1 |

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

After firmly deciding not to weave Penelope into my tangled web, I was met with the arduous burden of conducting my own research. 

Firstly, I would need a computer - yeah ... a computer. That’s how far I was willing to go for this pursuit. I once vowed never to fall victim to modern technology’s clutches, and yet here I was, doing my research on a public library’s computer. To my credit, I hadn’t gone out and bought one, I was merely using my resources.

With the need for a device out of the way, all that was left was the knowledge of what to look for. But that didn’t pose a problem either.

Funny enough, with as many rules and restrictions as there are regarding patient privacy and confidentiality, all it took was matching dates of news stories with hospital records to complete my research. I was fairly certain I was only scratching the surface of information about Valerie as opposed to the sea of things I could’ve uncovered if I asked for Garcia’s help, but there are only so many lines a person can cross in one week. 

This was my limit.

Call me naive, but I was actually quite surprised with just how expansive the internet is. To an almost relentless degree, I would open an article and it would lead me to ten more about the same topic. It was this never ending rabbit hole that seemed to spiral on forever. I kept digging deeper and deeper until I could no longer dig. 

I’d officially hit rock bottom. 

It took me a grand total of just two hours to unearth all the ‘dirt’ I could on a young Valerie Bishop. 

Local 16-year-old Wins Nevada’s Statewide Art Contest! Published by Henderson Press. 

Valerie, just a sophomore in high school at the time, was donning what any experimental teen girl would’ve worn in the early 2000s - bootcut jeans and a sequin blouse over top of a plain camisole. And if I zoomed in close enough, I could spot the evidence of a sparkly blue shadow coating her eyelids. Surprisingly, though, that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. 

It was that smile. That tooth-achingly sweet smile. 

Though I never got the chance to see Maeve truly smile, that’s what I imagined it would look like. 

The photographer must’ve caught her midway through a laugh, at least that’s what the image of her slightly open-mouthed grin told me. Meanwhile, her two tiny hands were clenching her overbearingly large trophy while her artwork stood behind her as the background.

It didn’t take me long to figure out why her painting won. Simply put, there was no need to see anyone else’s art to know that they couldn’t possibly compete with hers. 

Hers was an abstract rendition of what I believe to be a forest of some sort. The detail is what I was most drawn to. It would’ve been unbelievable on its own but the fact that she was 16 when she painted it? That’s what was unbelievable to me. 

If that’s how talented she was at that age, I could only imagine how much more talented she became with time. However, I lost the chance to investigate the current state of her skill before a related article from The Cleveland Gazette about Valerie succeeded this one. 

From Award-Winning Artist to Henderson’s Hero

Read my interview with 17-year-old Valerie Bishop to find out more about her struggle with arrhythmia and how she turned her pain into a project! 

By Kelli Gallagher from the Cleveland Gazette. 

Gallagher: Thank you so much for letting me interview you, Valerie. 

Bishop: Of course! I’m happy to. 

Gallagher: You’ve become somewhat of a hero in Henderson, Nevada, haven’t you?

Bishop: I wouldn’t call myself a hero ... but if everyone else wants to - I’m fine with that. (laughs)

Gallagher: Don’t be so modest! I mean, what you’ve done is so incredible, and you’re only what? Seventeen?

Bishop: Yes, ma’am. I just turned seventeen this past August. 

Gallagher: Wow, I can’t believe how young you are and yet you’ve already accomplished so much. I saw that you won a statewide art contest last year. Tell me more about that. 

Bishop: That’s a funny story actually. My Grandma Sheila was the one who entered me in that contest. I didn’t even know about it until I won it. She’s always surprising me, though. In fact, she’s the one that surprised me with my first ever art supplies, when I was about eight or so. They were these super expensive oil paints, and I knew she couldn’t afford them, so I told her we should return them and get something cheaper, but she said, “Nonsense. When the bones are good the rest don’t matter. A house don’t fall when the bones are good.” That was kind of her saying. 

A house don’t fall when the bones are good. 

The bones. 

Gallagher: I’m interested to know more about your relationship with your grandma. If I’m remembering correctly, she was also diagnosed with arrhythmia a while back too, right?

Bishop: Yes, she was, but that’s never slowed her down. And as for our relationship, my grandma and I have always been close, but arrhythmia, in a weird way, has brought us even closer. She has always been my biggest supporter and the fact that we’re both on this journey together makes her my biggest supporter even more so. 

Gallagher: Absolutely. Now, I also heard that you’ve started a fundraising program to possibly start a gallery and studio in Virginia Beach. If you don’t mind me asking, why Virginia Beach? Is there any special significance? 

Bishop: Actually, that’s where my grandma met my grandpa, and they got married and started a family there, too. So if Grandma Sheila hadn’t been there to meet him, she wouldn’t have had my mom, and that would mean I wouldn’t have been here either. I like to think Virginia Beach is where it all started. In a way, it’s where my bones are. That solid foundation in Virginia gave me everything I have today.

Gallagher: That is just incredible. I’m so glad to see your fundraising project is thriving, but I can’t imagine any of this has been particularly easy for you. You were diagnosed right around the time your senior year was starting right?

Bishop: Yes ma’am. 

Gallagher: So what brought you from Henderson to Cleveland?

Bishop: Well, actually, I didn’t want to move, especially not before I graduated, but Cleveland has the best cardiovascular hospital in the country and my health is far more important than graduating in the same state I grew up in. So when my parents were willing to move me and my sister out here, I saw it as a privilege rather than something to be sad about. 

Gallagher: I am so inspired by you, Valerie.

Bishop: (laughs) Really, why?

Gallagher: Despite everything that’d been thrown at you, you are still so grateful. I hope you never lose that. 

Bishop: I promise you I won’t.

Gallagher: So one last thing before I go, what is one hope you have for your future self?

Bishop: I hope, future self, that your ‘bones’ are still strong.

Gallagher: Beautiful. Thank you so much again for doing this, Valerie. I sincerely hope you reach your goal and you get to open up that gallery and studio in Virginia Beach. 

At the bottom of the article, there was a footnote from Kelli Gallagher. 

Exactly 10 years later, Bishop was able to move to Virginia Beach and open up her gallery and studio. 

By the end of the article, I felt a genuine sense of pride for Valerie, and I know I had virtually no right to know these things about her, but I could still be proud of her for them right?

I would never fully get my answer to this question before I crossed the final boundary. 

After exhausting all that I could gather from the internet without Penelope’s assistance, the only thing left for me to do was actually meet her in person. However, this would prove to be a bigger obstacle that it seemed. I decided to delay the daunting task until the next day. A decision partially influenced by the phrase, ‘sleep on it.’ I prayed I’d gain clarity on what to do when I woke up the next morning, but even with a night’s rest, I was still undecided as I drove to Virginia Beach once more.

To sit in my car that was conveniently parked right in front of the gallery was a poor choice. Because with every passing second, the temptation to walk in grew, but the fear of regret dampened those impulses. The more I thought about it, the more I psyched myself out. Between my two choices, to freeze or to fight, I should’ve taken the third - to flee. But I was here now and I couldn’t leave empty-handed for a second time. 

After a moment’s indecision, adrenaline coursed through my veins to give me the courage to get out of my car. When I felt an outdoor breeze blow over me, I knew there was no going back now. Right when I walked in, the little bell above the door rang, solidifying that I was officially crossing the threshold, and whether I liked it or not, she was going to see me after hearing me walk in.

“I’ll be right with you!” A small voice called out from somewhere in the back. She was hidden from my immediate sight, and somehow that made it so much worse. It was now I that was waiting for her, instead of her unknowingly waiting for me. 

As though I were prey getting ready to escape a predator, I stayed put by the door. It gave me a full view of the entire place anyway. 

Scoping out my surroundings, I spotted the paintings that were carefully measured and placed on the walls, almost to perfection. I had no time to notice anything more before the person in the back walked out. 

Immediately when I saw her, I knew.

“You’re … not Valerie.” I couldn’t help sounding so disappointed but luckily, the woman that came out took no offense to my observation. 

“No, I’m not,” She laughed. “But I can get her for you-”

“No wait!” I uselessly leapt forward to stop her from saying, “Vee! There’s someone out here to see you!” But that’s precisely what she did anyway. Evidently oblivious of my previous protests, she politely smiled back at me. “She’ll be right out.” 

For the second time that day, I waited with bated breath, anxiously anticipating the arrival of Valerie. And I was almost too focused on subduing the pounding of my heart to realize that she was actually walking out of the back right now. 

“Hi, sorry about that!” A new voice chirped. 

Valerie. 

The moment I laid eyes on her, it became clear to me that the pictures in her files hardly did her justice. Nothing could compare to the real sight of her. I was only able to catch the profile of her face when I saw her in the cafe, but in her entirety, I began to wax nostalgic. Though her face and hair and body had transformed into that of a grown woman’s features, I could still identify the same tooth-achingly sweet smile that a younger Valerie once wore on the front page of the Henderson Press. She was no beast to conquer, she was just a girl, smiling at me in that same gentle way. 

Her expression just as well showed no indication of recognition, not that she would recognize me, considering my letter was anonymous and unless she pulled the same stunt I did, she wouldn’t ever recognize who I was. 

“I’m Val,” She made her greeting to me while untying her dirtied waist apron, and it was merely the action that caused my gaze to fall to her hips, but when she shed the apron, I was still staring. There was something sort of mesmerizing about the way they swayed as she approached. It wasn’t until they stopped swaying completely that I realized they did so because there was no more distance to advance - she was already right there in front of me, patiently watching me stare. 

“Val?” I blinked hard to revert my gaze while also playing into the part that I had no idea who she was. 

“Mhm. Short for Valerie,” She confirmed happily. “Like the Amy Winehouse song.” 

This time, I genuinely didn’t know what she was referring to, and my confused countenance prompted her to clarify, “You don’t know that song?” 

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she began to playfully sing, “Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water ...” 

While she watched my face and waited for the recitation of the song to jog my memory, I was just as much studying her face. I could tell she was only kidding when she sang, evidenced by the laugh that followed her rendition, but it sounded so unironically good that I had to question what other talents she possessed. 

“Um, I was actually thinking more like Valerie, the martyred medieval saint, whose name stood for strength and health.” No sooner than the words spilled from my mouth did I recognize the freudian slip - the simultaneous coincidence and confession. The coincidence was that, now, with Maeve’s heart beating in her chest, she lived up to her name - she was newly strong and healthy. But I worried, she would see the correlation I drew between her name and her successful transplant and would realize that I knew more about her than I let on. Did I just give away too much?

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name earlier. What was it?” Her casual dismissiveness of my previous statement did nothing to ease my worries. Was she beginning to piece everything together?

“Oh, right!” I said dumbly. “S-Spencer. I’m Spencer.” I was such a blubbering bundle of nerves that I actually reached out to shake her hand - a stranger’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Spencer,” She softly laughed, which was hopefully not out of the enjoyment of seeing me squirm. “What can I do for you?” 

A loaded question, don’t you think? What can you do for me, Valerie? Well, for one thing, you could’ve answered my letter, but to say something as bold as that would require me to admit the real reason I was here, and how could I do that without mentioning how I found you in the first place?

“Um ...” Whose birthday is the soonest? “My friend Emily’s birthday is coming up and I was wondering if I could possibly buy a painting from you as a birthday present.” 

There was the faintest perceptible skepticism in her expression, but that could’ve just been my paranoia talking because in the next breath, she didn’t suggest a proclivity to my deceit. “Yeah, of course! Do you know what her favorite medium is? Or her favorite artist? Or her favorite style of art?” 

For every addition to the question, I wordlessly shook my head no. Was my lie already unraveling? Could she see right through me?

“No worries. If you want, you can walk around the gallery and tell me if you see anything you think she’d like.” She made her offer to me sweetly, then disappeared into the back room again. I tried to follow her with my eyes for as long as I could, but from where I was standing, I couldn’t see very far into it. I wandered a little further into the center of the gallery to possibly catch a glimpse of what was occupying her time back there, but when I heard the chattering of two voices, Valerie and the other woman, coming from the same general direction, I realized I was completely alone in this part of the studio.

With no one around to bear witness but these portraits, I could’ve easily slipped out and made my escape, and I might’ve even done it had it not been for the unmistakable gravitational pull forcing me to stay here and walk about the room. 

Making my way throughout the gallery, I would pause every now and then when a painting would stand out to me, which was often, considering each picture was impressive. 

But there was one painting in particular that piqued my interest. It made me feel something I’d never felt before. 

It wasn’t special by any means. By rights, I shouldn’t have even noticed it, for it wasn’t the largest painting, nor the smallest one - it wasn’t even the most average painting. But it felt exceptionally ... Valerie. I had no doubt in my mind that she painted this one - in fact, I had a good bet that she painted most of these portraits, if not all of them - but this one. There was just something about it that I couldn’t put my finger on. 

“So,” A draft was created from where Valerie swiftly and unexpectedly joined me at my side. “What do you think?” 

“Um, there’s definitely something,” I struggled to find the word. “appealing about this one.” Almost as soon as the word came out of my mouth, I knew it was only a matter of time before she called out the inadequacy of my answer. 

“Appealing?” She repeated in mockery. “That’s the best you got? Come on, you’ve been standing here for like ten minutes. There must be something about it you like.” 

“I’m not sure.” I honestly admitted with a shrug.

“There’s no wrong answer.” She assured me, but I found that hard to believe. 

“So if I said I see a grizzly bear attacking a UFO, that wouldn’t be wrong?”

“Nope,” She popped the p. “If that’s how you interpret it then that’s how you interpret it. Just because someone else sees it differently, doesn’t mean you’re wrong.” It would’ve sounded like complete bullshit or nauseatingly cheesy coming out of someone else’s mouth, but her delivery felt so genuine. It actually moved me. 

As she said this, she turned her head in my direction to look up at me, causing her shoulder to brush my upper arm, sending a wave of goosebumps all over my body. 

She was so close. 

But I was so unbothered by her proximity that I didn’t even notice exactly how close she really was. If someone else had invaded my personal space like that, I would’ve moved in the opposite direction just on instinct, but I didn’t even think to do that with Valerie. I was so comfortable with her being there. 

But was that just because a part of her was once Maeve’s? Was the entire foundation of my likening to Valerie built upon that single attribute?

Was that my bones?

“Um,” I began fidgeting with my hands to self-soothe. “I like it. I don’t know why. But I like it. How’s that for an answer?”

There was a pause before her response that compelled me to look at her, but when I did so, she was already looking at me. “I’ll take it,” She nodded. “It’s the biggest compliment to me if my art can make you feel something.”

Was it the art that made me feel something ... or you?

“I’ll tell you what,” She walked over to grab something from the front desk. She came back with a small piece of cardstock. “I’m going to an art exhibition next weekend. Why don’t you come with me and see if you can’t find something for Emily there?”

She handed me the paper, which was actually her business card. “You don’t have to have an answer for me today, but call me when you do.” She seemed to think that was the end of the conversation, but I still had more questions. 

“You’re inviting me?” was the first question that came to mind, albeit the dumbest one.

“Yeah, you can be my plus one.”

I gulped to dislodge the lump in my throat. “Like-like your date?” 

She furrowed her brows with mild confusion. “Um ... sure, if that’s what you wanna call it,” which was the last thing she said to me before vanishing within the back room again. 

I peered back down at the card and tapped it gently on the palm on my hand as though to register its presence really being there. 

For all intents and purposes, this card was meaningless. But to me, it was the formal consenting - nay, invitation - to reach out to her again. She was willingly extending this line of contact to me. 

No more public library computers. No more files. No more ‘research.’ Just her number - a way to reach her without veering off my moral compass. 

Despite this, I still had no clue whether or not I was going to accept her offer.

All that I did know was that I wanted to see her again. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

PART 3 COMING SOON!

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[castiowl]

i am so close to going full tanya harding on my psych practice’s knee so i just need to rant

first of all i’ve had 9 fucking MH professionals to deal with medication management in the last 2 years. NINE. the longest i had one was for about 7 months, which thankfully was the first one i had after my mental health crisis in 2019 so i was at least able to get my meds figured out and be pretty stable before the fucking Great Psychiatry Exodus where every single provider decided to leave the fucking practice they were at after one (1) whole session with me.

the last three i had, i told them my bad luck with providers and how they all leave the practice and i swear to god all 3 of them said “oh haha well i’m not leaving any time soon!” and then they left LMFAOO

the last 2 i had were from the same practice so i decided to switch to a different practice. especially after my most recent provider was only there for 6 months before leaving. clearly something weird going on.

new practice seems great. easy to use website and so easy to set up an appt. had my first appt, once again stressing that i’ve not had the same provider twice in a row in a year and a half now. provider was super nice and was like wow! that sucks! well i’m not going anywhere :-)

i get an email before my second appt saying i have $250 to pay still from my first session and if i don’t pay it, the appt will be canceled. what the fuck. then i figure out they don’t have my correct insurance information which is partially on me, but i always forget what falls under major medical vs behavioral health because i have two different insurances for those. so i call and explain and give them the correct info. i guess it was on me for not confirming that my appt wouldn’t be canceled….but i show up for my appt (online waiting room) and my provider is online but she never connects with me. i waited a full 45 mins and then she signs off. i was like ??? okay???

so i call the office and they’re like oh your appt was canceled because you didn’t pay. so first of all 1) you didn’t tell me the appt was canceled. fuck you for that. would’ve been nice to receive a fucking email or something so i don’t show up like a jackass 2) i explained that i called to fix the problem so what the fuck? and 3) now i’m out of medication so i need to see a provider…

(also just fucking annoying that my provider could clearly see i was signed in/waiting for her in the waiting room and didn’t bother to just send me a quick IM saying hey your appt was canceled! just let me sit there for a fucking hour)

office person is like well her next appt isn’t until july 26 (this appt was july 6) and i was like fucking great let’s do it. they sent me to the nurse to ask about medication. had to leave a message. whatever.

i ended up just paying the $250 because i didn’t want THIS appt to be canceled too. i figured once the claim went through i’d be refunded but i haven’t been home and my behavioral health insurance does everything through snail mail in the year 2021 :-)

i get a call from the nurse and she’s like oh yeah we can refill your Rx no problem so like finally some good news. but then i say i’m in florida and could they send it to the walgreens down here? and she’s like ohhhh we don’t send meds across state lines usually so i’ll have to ask your provider. excuse me? so no client can go on vacation for longer than their medicine allows? literally how is that okay? besides the fact that where i pick up my meds is none of their business. literally. like i could’ve had them send it to the walgreens in VA and then call walgreens to transfer it for me and they’d be none the wiser (i ended up doing this for one med because i was so over it). anyway. got my meds. it’s all good.

so my second appt rolls around today. everything is great. the balance was paid. i received a call friday confirming the appt.

however. lol. the portal they have stopped letting me log into the desktop version. my phone is fine. zero problems. but the exact same user name password on desktop says it’s wrong. i swear i checked it like 30 times. didn’t work. so i was like okay whatever i’ll just go straight to my provider’s online waiting room. i did so. logged in there. waiting. ten minutes past the appt i was like…..i swear to fucking god if they canceled on my and didn’t tell me again i’m gonna commit a crime. call the office. apparently if you’re on hold for more than 5 mins, they send you to voicemail. fuck that. i just called again. i get a person. yay.

i ask if she’s running late or w/e and the office person says i didn’t confirm the appt by logging into the patient portal. are you fucking kidding me? i haven’t received an email about this july 26 appt at all, let alone one telling me i need to do XYZ to confirm an appt. the phone call i got confirming the appt didn’t say to call back or go online. i literally had to hunt through my browser history just to find her waiting room address. (after logging into the portal after all this shit, there isn’t even a fucking link to the waiting room anywhere so idk where i was supposed to find that without already just knowing it).

i explain all this, how the portal isn’t working on desktop anyway (i literally put a note in my phone about it) and i was IN the waiting room on time so what the fuck. and the office person very helpfully was like oh well she can call you if there are any cancellations. okay. whatever. but i’m out of meds today so…. office person very shittily says “i will let her know” with this fucking tone like i’m the one who dropped the ball here. jesus fucking christ.

look folks i barely want to be alive as it is but having to fucking fight tooth and nail just to talk to a person so i can get the meds that make me not die is like. A FUCKING joke. i am the least flakey person ever and i look like an insane person who can’t do basic tasks to this clinic because their shit is so fucked up.

all this on top of the fact that my therapist is just. idk. the vibes have been way off and i just miss my old therapist so goddamn much especially with life returning to normal w covid and hey my dog has cancer! i’m just ready to throw in the towel.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #423

“i won’t think about you when i’m older  /  ‘cuz we never really had our closure”

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? Neither. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? My late grandmother's husband stayed overnight when he was driving from New York to Florida or the other way around, idr. How many long term relationships have you been in? Two. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My snake's heat lamp stays on. Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? My dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I don't think I've even heard one of her songs. Do you know your blood type? A-. Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. Have you got your period at the moment? I haven't had my period since I started TMS. It's honestly so fucking frustrating that it obviously had an effect on my body, but not my depression. I've officially finished TMS as of a few days ago and now I just feel so void of hope. Have you ever been pregnant? No. How old were you when you first went on a plane? Idr, I was a little kid. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Not me personally, but my parents have for my education that I threw away. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life regardless. When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never been. Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Happiness. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have not. How many bedrooms are in your house? Three. Are you smart about computers? Not really, no. Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? Yes. My sister loved them, so we have a few. Do you own a Xbox 360? No. I'm a PlayStation girl. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? No. I'd be mortified. So, do you need a nap? I really should take one. I slept like... maybe three hours last night. I was up most of the night having a fucking life crisis. What would you rather be doing? Something fun. What sport are you the best at? I haven't touched any sort of sport since I was a teenager. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you complain a lot? Kind of, but I generally try to keep it in surveys nowadays. I'm just tired of shit. Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Ohhh, tough pick, but I've gotta say the ancient temple. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Both, really. Are you looking forward to any day of this month? Well July is practically over, so I'll answer for August. I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday. Have you ever gotten detention? A few times for getting too many morning tardies in high school. Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Definitely. Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Powerwolf did recently. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why meerkats do not make good pets whatsoever. Do fucking not get one. I can barely fathom how it's legal in some countries. Ever cried so much you threw up? No, but I've gagged. Who is your best guy friend? Girt. What do you two do when you hang out? Mostly just watch TV and play board games. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? I dunno, really. Do you even like horror movies? I love horror movies. Do you live in the country? I wish I still did. :/ Me and Mom hate hate hate living in these suburbs. What is your favorite accent? British. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is gross. What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? I was literally in the psych hospital for my 21st birthday lmao. It's kind of a painful memory, but I also won't forget the love and kindness people showed me. I especially remember the friend I made there getting the lunch lady to literally go and buy me a slice of cake. Everyone also sang happy birthday to me and gaaaah I'm getting emotional. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That was my dad's drink of choice when he drank. Do you take a lot of pictures? Unless I have my camera and am somewhere pretty, no. What kind of face wash do you use? Water, lol. Does drama always seem to follow you? Nah. Does anybody in your family race? No. Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom. How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” Uhhh... I want to say $2 or something? I might be way off, idr. How long do you want to live with your parents? I WISH I could have moved out with an s/o already, but that's just not how life's worked out. Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop. Do you like your parents? I love them. Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, no. Would you ever date your best male friend? Tried that once and it didn't work out. I liked him more as like a brother. What are you currently listening to? "Better Than Me" by Hinder. I really need to turn it off, but I can't make myself. Do you want to be single? I really wish I had a partner to love and motivate me to strive to do better, but I know it's better I'm single right now. I'd just relive the Jason situation, I'm sure. I'd just drag the person down and lose them. Did you go out or stay in last night? I'm almost always at my fucking house not doing shit, so. Have you pretended to like someone? No, that sounds pretty stupid... How is your heart lately? Hurting. A lot. Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks and I'm in bed anyway, so no. What do people call you? Britt, mostly. Do you get stressed out easily? VERY. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What is wrong with you right now? Where the hell to begin. Do you own something from Hot Topic? A lot. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, so long as the bed is big enough to comfortably fit two of us. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. I'm certain he wants nothing to do with me. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Sadly. Did you get any compliments today? Definitely not. I look and feel like a wreck right about now. There's nothing to praise me about. Have you ever gone to a beach? Many times. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Unless it was an edible, no. I'd do almost anything to try and make me feel better right now, even if just for a little while, but I'm unwilling to smoke anything. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? HELL no. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Honestly, no. Do you have long nails? No; I never do because I have an awful habit of picking at them. Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. Do you generally look nice in photos? HA. Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No. What colour are your father’s eyes? They're dark brown. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? Ozzy, duh. Name three facts about your family? We're very, very spread out geographically, some of us (in other words, me) are emotionally distant, and uh... idk. Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? Only if it was a certain person, our lives were more on track, and we were making plans for either of us to move soon. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? Probably this really long letter my mom wrote for me on my bday a couple years ago. What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I played the flute for many years, all through middle school and through much of high school. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carve pumpkins, for sure. Do you think you’re important? I don't fucking know. Probably not. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Idk. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? *hands over thick book* Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. My hands are way, way too shaky to ever accomplish that. Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. What was the first thing you ate today? Well, I was seriously depression-eating last night, way past midnight, and had a peanut butter sandwich. If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? LET'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT RIGHT NOW. If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? "Falling apart." I've lost direction, motivation, strength, hope, just everything. What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? I need a fucking shower so bad that it's embarrassing. I just can't move. I have no energy, emotionally or physically. I just can't make myself do it. Is there anything that you wish you could take back? So, so badly. What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Actually reaching goals. Losing weight. Healing my legs. Knowing with certainty that I wasn't emotionally abusive to Jason. Moving out of this town and back into the country. Financial stability. A job I thoroughly enjoy. I could go on, but let's not. If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? God, let me take back shit I said in that fucking letter to you-know-who. It's so hard to believe I once thought it perfectly justified and realistic. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't have any plans of changing the style in the foreseeable future. I want to color it BADLY. To just SOMETHING. Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I'm like, a lightning-fast typist. Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ No; my best friend in HS was, though. Her GPA was fucking insane. I was in the top percentile, though, so I was up there. What the hell happened to that girl. How many drugs are in your system? If we're including prescriptions, a whole hell of a lot. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Jack shit. Like usual. Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. Do you call anyone baby? Excluding my pets, no. What’s your current mood? lol if you've gotten this far reading, you can make an educated guess. Do you think you are a good person? Bro I just don't know. What were you doing before filling out this survey? I was playing WoW. How late did you stay up last night? Like, 4:30 or so. When was the last time you cried really hard? I wanna say like a week ago? Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. It still badly needs a trim, though.

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#3)

Let’s see what we have on the slate. this should be the premiere of s3: Speak Your Truth. I am watching this during school, so let’s see how bad my focus is.

-the episode description is “The shooting of Dr. Charles moves to the courtroom and things turn complicated for the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med.” so still on brand for being all sorts of vague.

-all that really says is more sarah angst so big sad

-let’s get started

-god back to classic med, starting things off fast, just how i like it

-how tf kellogg live through the headshot. guy can’t do anything right

-connor running towards charles on the guerney screaming “what the hell happened!?” and sharon just being “he got shot.” is so fucking hilarous to me i have no clue why

-oh god i remember how much it bothered me that connor changed his hair from the end of s2 to the start of s3 lol (bc it’s supposed to be the same night, but yk, nitpicking)

-the time jump is such an interesting choice. i remember it was jarring at first. i’m sure i’ll have more to say as the episode goes on

-aw hey guys look its sarah! adorable

-also stoll

-oh god, nat taking a sabbatical was weird

-WHEN SHE LOOKS AT WILL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN PAIN IM SCREAMING

-counting

-oh boy watching s3 means i get to watch noah get thrown through a glass door and also be a disappointment

-the way connor is effortlessly charming here in the beginning is maybe the only reason i tolerate his character (also more of sarah being adorable)

-horney boi. stop it.

-noah following after sarah like a lovesick puppy is funny

-sarah saying ‘he’s the reason i went into psych...’ honey, psych is not good for your mental health please stop giving him credit

-HOLD THE FUCK ON?????

-its the s3 premiere and Sarah talks about her dad and her strained relationship, specifically because noah compares charles getting shot to her dad getting shot. but like, foreshadowing... maybe i should give the med writers a smidge more of credit than I have been in terms of planning things...

-sarah: “don’t compare my dad to dr. charles.”

-long sigh. god... sarah being so supportive. and charles just being ‘No???’

-not to be weird but court room scenes always get me feeling some sorta way

-haha its peter stone! remember him? remember chicago justice?

-THE BETRAYAL ON SARAH’S FACE - she cares so much about him and he’s about to get his own shooter acquitted.

-god sarah is just fucking fantastic. she feels so passionately about caring about people

-god charles fucking hates himself so much? he should Not be ava’s mentor

-charles: “I think the shooting is affecting your objectivity.” sarah: “mY oBjECtiViTy?!”

-also they said ‘the fact he was concealing a weapon shows like fear malicious content’ or what ever. and uh,, sarah? please. please, for my sanity. (bc of what happens later in the season)

-charles- you know how you can help me? fuck off.

-lol this kid is the one who had like a tooth ache, and now his brain is rotting or something. probably will happen to me (@ my parents please let me see the dentist)

-this is where doris is like ethan is playing favorites

-the like background noises of the ed calm me down. they prob really shouldn’t

-they’re gonna fuckkkkk

-something to be said about sarah being gung ho about kellogg being off the streets and a danger to society when... her dad...

- I really like when med does the thing when one character is just standing in the ed and they transition to the next story by having the next character run past

-what is with all of the nurses drama like honestly

-hey guys look its ava! (let see if i have enough brain cells to find anything)

-heyyyy look at that. ava trying usurp some of connor’s cases. while, yeah she is being a tad undermining, connor’s gf was literally just discharged from a psych hold. this is just an interaction to keep in mind for future events.

-ava’s playing full cunning while connor’s busy fucking his girlfriend

-dont hate the player man

-because they’re both under latham, they’re more rivals than hero/villain, bc they have a common guy who is their advisor. but yeah. dont hate the player

-robin calling ava ‘cruella’ is making want to throw hands ngl. god dude chill - bc it means either robin just saw ava interacting with people and thought ‘what a bitch’ or connor was complaining about ava and either way I hate it.

-connor broke up with robin bc she was too horneyyy (ik he didn’t break up w her but yk)

-connor - reese interaction was nice. until he started blaming her bruh wtf chilll

-her arguing with connor is like. peak. (ava + sarah teaming up to bully connor and not take any of his shit?? i think yes)

-this ethan april thing is stupid. i’m just gonna say it.

-ava: “that would have been a really great idea if you were trying to kill him.” SHE TAKES NO. SURVIVORS. i love her so much

-YEAH RHODES GET FUCKED! i think one of the reasons ava was disliked at first was bc latham kind of favored her and... literally everyone else favored connor? so get fucked? but here, ava can obviously hold her own and connor is just whining. I’m glad they put them on equal ground bc connor and ava’s direct superior is on ava’s side, and literally everyone else is with connor. AND CONNORS STILL PLAYED AS AN UNDERDOG BC AVA TOOK HIS SURGERY! HOW. infuriating

-anyway, for the purposes of the theory ava is capable enough to hold her own as a stand alone, and clever enough to be entertaining

-holy shit no i think i just remembered how this storyline goes. connor gets a better surgery, right? he gets glory and stuff. this is too fucking rich, come on. let one thing go wrong for him.

-i miss ava

-GOD SARAH LOOKS GOOD IN HER FUCKING BLAZER. unfair. unmatched

-stop it sarah you have anxiety.

-SARAH NO. BABY IS SCARED.

-okay. Ava is half bickering, half flirting with him, a little annoying but we put up with it bc we love her and its not her fault she’s supposed to be his love interest. but still, it’s playful, it’s not neccesarily flirting. conceivably, she could be talking to anybody. But then, she tells him to relax, to take a day off. SHE’S STILL A GOOD PERSON. SHE’S NOT TRYING TO EXPLICITLY SPITE CONNOR, OR ANYONE. that’s what people tend to forget. she’s not malicious.

-connor thinks she is tho. maybe that’s why some people hated her, bc connor hated her

-charles: “kellogg is not a criminal” BRUH HE SHOT YOU

-HOLY SHIT. SHARON RN IS LIKE YOU WANT KELLOGG TO BE FREE BC YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE SIGNS OF A KILLER AND ITS ABOUT YOUR EGO

-AND??? SARAH’S DAD ANYONE? that was why he was so persistent of sarah’s dad. he wanted to catch the signs.

-OKAY HERE. When latham is like, wait, did ava manipulate me? is she actually sus? he was the one person on her side and then boom he sides with connor. literally do you have any idea how great ava would be without connor?

-this manstead thing is soooo exhausting

Okay so what have we learned?

Ava is getting Connor’s cases. kind of rude but also, they’re surgeons? It’s super competitive. AND CONNOR LITERALLY WON THAT ROUND BC LATHAM SWITCHED SIDES???

AND SHE STILL TOLD CONNOR TO GET SLEEP. LIKE SHE WAS BEING NICE WHILE ALSO BEING SNARKY

ava had less lines in the ep than in s2 and honestly. wtf.

not much content, but if you look at her content, come on she’s still amazing.

thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Ninety-Five: Out to Dinner ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi, Hyūga Hanabi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Well...today’s the day.

And he has...no idea what he’s supposed to do.

They arrange to meet in the early afternoon, Hinata promising her father she’d use the morning to tend to some of her homework before taking the rest of the day off. Hiashi agreed, and so Sasuke arrives at her house at about two in the afternoon. And even after several hours to sit and think about it, he still has little to go on in regards to what a date is really...supposed to be. A few minutes are spent sat in the car, nibbling his lip in thought.

...now or never.

Getting out of the driver’s side, he gives the house a once-over. It’s a two story white craftsman, on a large corner lot with a sizeable, well-kept yard. All it needs is a picket fence and you’d see it in one of those magazines housewives are always drooling over. He’d know: Mikoto always has one lying around someplace, dreaming of remodeling their house.

Walking up the path to the front door, he gives the bell a ring. He texted Hinata five minutes before he arrived, but...well, he’s expecting someone else to answer the door.

And it turns out, he’s right.

Hiashi is who pulls it open, beholding Sasuke properly for the first time. Sasuke, in turn, does his best to stand in some manner that doesn’t look forced, but not too relaxed, either.

“...sir.”

“You must be Sasuke,” the Hyūga muses.

“Yes, sir.”

“...you needn’t call me sir. Mister Hyūga is polite enough.”

“Er...right. Is, uh...is Hinata ready…?”

“I believe she is finishing up. You may come in to wait, if you wish.”

“...thanks.” Stepping in to a tiled entryway, Sasuke just sort of...lingers, not daring to get his shoes on any carpet. The interior, like the exterior, is mostly white: everything is greyscale, light and airy. It’s...probably the nicest house he’s ever been in. His own is nothing to sneeze at, but...wow. This place is nice.

Hands in his pockets, he watches as Hiashi retreats out of sight. Well...so much for making small talk. But maybe he’s glad for it, honestly. They haven’t exactly gotten off to a good start…hopefully Hinata won’t take too much longer.

But before she comes downstairs, another person walks past: her little sister, Hanabi, who Sasuke has heard...very little about. Looking very much like her father with the same face shape and hair shade, she pauses as she catches sight of him.

...there’s an awkward moment of staring.

“...you Hinata’s boyfriend?” she asks, speaking past a stick of pocky in her mouth.

“Uh...yeah. That’s me.”

“...you’re hotter than I thought you’d be.”

As Sasuke balks, she breaks into a laugh, waving a hand and continuing on through the house.

...what was that?!

It’s then Hinata comes down the stairs, slowing to a stop as she catches his expression. “...are you okay?”

“...yeah. Just...met your sister.”

Understanding seems to brighten her face. “Oh...that explains it. She say anything...weird?”

“...she thinks I’m hot.”

She can’t stop a snort. “Yeah, that’s...Hanabi for you. She’s in that weird eighth grader stage.”

From another room, the younger sister calls, “I HEARD THAT!”

Hinata just rolls her eyes. “Ready to go?”

“I think so.”

“Okay...let me go say goodbye to my dad, then we can head out!”

“No need.”

Hiashi then rounds the corner, Hinata looking a bit surprised. “Oh! Well...Dad, this is Sasuke, Sasuke...this is my dad, Hiashi.”

“We had a...brief introduction when he arrived,” the patriarch assures her. “So, I suppose this is where I set the boundaries? Home by ten, and do call if you have any major changes in plans. Which...would be?”

“Uh...thought we’d go hang out at the mall, maybe catch a movie and some dinner…?” Sasuke shrugs.

Amusement flickers Hiashi’s lips for just a moment. “Agreeable. Do be careful, Hinata.”

“I will. See you when I get back.”

The teens then make their way back outside and into Mikoto’s SUV. As Sasuke does up his seatbelt, he mumbles, “...that was the most awkward introduction I’ve ever had in my life.”

Hinata can’t help a giggle. “I’m sorry...m-my dad’s really...stiff. He’s too serious, but...he tries.”

“He didn’t hate me?”

“If he hated you, we wouldn’t be in the car right now.”

“...okay then. So, uh...mall sound good to you? I...really have no idea what else to do. It’s where I go to bum around with Naruto most of the time.”

“Sure! In all honesty...I don’t even know what movies are playing right now…”

“Then we’ll both be surprised.” Backing from the driveway, Sasuke steers the car toward downtown, the mall soon looming before them. Once parked in the garage, they head up into the building proper. “Got any favorite places to browse?”

“A few, but...they’re mostly for clothes. I don’t want to b-bore you.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Um...there’s also a neat bookstore, with board games and stuff?”

“I think I know that one...should we start there?”

“Sure!”

They mosey, taking their time and window shopping on the way. Sasuke very rarely goes in most of the shops in the mall, preferring to just walk around and people watch, maybe peruse things in the displays. His allowance pays okay, but he prefers to save and splurge on stuff for his PC or games for his Playstation.

The bookstore is pretty busy, filled mostly with younger kids. But that doesn’t stop Hinata from looking over their puzzles and books, Sasuke observing a model train do its laps alongside a few tykes.

Without him looking, Hinata takes a small video of it, smiling behind her phone.

In the end she buys a few new books, Sasuke finding an old school PC game he used to play in elementary school to splurge on. Sheepishly explaining the educational title to her, he glances over as she giggles.

“I remember that one! It was on the computers in the library!”

“Yeah! I didn’t think you could find it anymore...maybe it won’t even play on my computer, but it was only ten bucks...might as well try.”

“Mhm!”

From there, they go to the in-mall cinema, picking a movie at random based on the posters. It’s a comedy, the pair sharing some overpriced candy and popcorn. Sasuke quickly grows a bit bored, but gets a kick out of Hinata paying rapt attention and laughing every few seconds.

...she’s so cute.

After that, they wander a little longer, Hinata dragging him into a rather...eclectic place with weird clothes, crystals, incense, and fancy glass sculptures.

“Oh, wow...look at that one!” Hinata points to a lion posed atop a rock. “It’s so pretty…!”

“You like lions?”

“I was...a big Lion King fan as a kid.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!” She gives him a glance. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Everyone has the Disney movie from when they were a kid. What was yours?”

“Actually, it was uh...The Black Cauldron.”

“Really?! That one was so scary!”

“Yeah, that’s why I liked it! No one else really seemed to, though...my brother was all about Hercules.”

“Aww, I love that one…”

“...you gonna buy that, then?”

“Oh gosh, no...it’s way too expensive.”

“...what if I go in half?”

“Sasuke, no!”

“You want it, don’t you?”

“W-well, yeah! But -?”

“I’ll pay half.”

Torn between stubborn refusal and longing, she bites her lip before giving in. “...oh, okay! But I owe you.”

“Whatever you say.”

Once the fragile artwork is carefully wrapped and put in a box, the pair make their way to the few restaurants on the main floor. “What sounds good?”

“Anything, really...that popcorn didn’t fill me up at all!”

They head into a grill, ordering and chatting as they wait.

“Are you nervous about state?”

“...yeah, kinda. Mostly I’m just psyched we’re going, but...now that we’re going? I wanna go all the way.”

“I bet you will.”

“I dunno...there’s a lot of good teams. But we’ll sure try.”

“I’ll be there to cheer you on, okay? Sakura said she’d go with me, since she and Naruto finally g-got together.”

Sasuke pauses for a moment. “...that doesn’t bother you?”

“...should it?”

“You liked him for a long time.”

“...well, I’m not what he wanted. And that’s okay.” She gives him a shy smile. “...and you liked me for a long time, so...m-maybe it’s only fair.”

“Is that why you asked me out?”

“No! Well...maybe partially. But also because I like you, and...I w-want to give this a try.” After a small hesitation, she puts a hand atop his own on the table, earning a small blush.

“...o-okay.”

After going out for dinner (and Hinata indulging in dessert, which Sasuke skips with his lack of a sweet tooth), they wander a little longer to let their meals settle. Then back to the car they head, both clearly disappointed the evening is almost over.

“...well, did you have fun?” he asks, maneuvering out of the garage.

“I did...a lot, actually. And thank you again for the lion...I am going to pay you back for that!”

“You can try,” he teases.

Pulling along the curb at her house, Sasuke walks her up to the door, hands in his pockets as she carries her few bags from her shopping.

“...thank you for taking me,” she eventually offers as they idle.

“Yeah, well...thanks for asking me,” Sasuke counters with a hint of a grin. “...it was really nice.”

“Would you...w-want to do it again sometime? Well...maybe something different, I mean, but another...d-date?”

“...I think I would. We’ll, uh...plan a bit more next time.”

Hinata giggles. “...okay.”

...another silence blooms.

“...well...I better get inside…”

“Yeah, I gotta get home, too.”

“Text me when you get home, so...I know you made it okay?”

“Sure.”

After another pause, Hinata hesitates for a moment before swooping forward atop the step. Lips give a press to Sasuke’s cheek, which quickly blooms red. “...goodnight.”

“...night,” he manages to reply, watching her head in. Blinking a few times, he then dares to grin, walking on air to the car.

...maybe this whole date thing isn’t so bad.

                                                                 .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 149, 168, 183, 271, 287, and 294!)      hhhhh I have an early morning tomorrow and now it's 2am BUT I GOT THIS DONE xD More of the sports verse: they're on a date! Finally! And neither of them know what they're doing, lol - but at least they had fun x3      Anyway I REALLY gotta go, so...thanks for reading!

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Chapter 2

Title: Falling for the Holidays

Pairing: Dean x Reader AU

Word Count: 2241

Summary: With October ending and the holidays underway, that only meant one thing for Dean Winchester. It meant returning to his childhood home and spending time with his family. It meant listening to his parents, especially his mom, ramble on and on about when he was going to find himself a nice girl, bring her home for the holidays, and then eventually get married and have children.  However, Dean wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment, so in order to get his family off his back, he comes up with an elaborate scheme! But like the saying goes, “sometimes lies become truths.”

Warnings: There isn’t really any. Maybe some fluff and crack. A little bit of tooth aching friendship goals? Definitely has some explicit language.

A/N: Here we go, chapter 2! I hope it doesn’t disappoint. I’m a little happy with this one, but I don’t know. I’ll let you be the judge. Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who had nice things to say about the first chapter, as well as those who asked to be tagged. It makes me feel like that maybe I can really do this whole “write a series” thing. You guys are awesome!

Also, if you want to be tagged in the series, shoot me an ASK :)

Series Masterlist

Dean heavily trudged his way to your apartment, taking the elevator to your floor, and using the spare key you’d given him to open the door. You were in your tiny kitchen cooking breakfast in nothing but a large shirt that he recognized as his, and legs bare. Your hair was in a messy bun and you had on your nerd glasses, as he liked to call it.

“Morning,” he breathed out in a low tremble, dropping his bag on the hardwood floor and slumping onto the bar seat and watching you scramble eggs on the stove.

You peeked up at him, knowing that there was something really bothering him. “Whoa, what’s got you in a mood?” Dean looked like shit. His shirt disheveled and wrinkled, his jacket inside out, and his hair still styled in his favorite bedhead look.

“My brother…” Dean groaned, snatching a piece of bacon and taking a bite, crumbs falling all over him. “He called me after I dropped you home and well... were on the phone till real late. He called me after our mom bombarded him with all kinds of crap about me bringing home a girl and settling down. I mean, c’mon! I’m only 24, what’s the rush? I don’t get why they are in such a hurry for me to find someone. I get it, they were young when they started a family, but I’m not them. Some relationship isn’t as easy as there’s, and some people just don’t find their soulmate that quick! I’ll find her. And when I do, I know that I’ll know she’s the one. Lisa… she wasn’t the one for me.”

You were a little surprised at his outburst, particularly the bit of information you had never heard before. Dean was always the kind of guy who didn’t like to talk about the past, especially when it was a hard one to burry. His past relationship seemed to all end up bad, and this was the first time you’ve ever heard of a… Lisa.

There was dead silence. Dean was a little taken aback himself, shocked that he brought up a woman he never wanted to think about ever again. Lisa… Dean thought she was it. Been together for three years when shit hit the ceiling and they broke up. She was the reason he went to college so far away.

“Hey, why don’t you just bring home a fake girlfriend,” you joked, hoping to ease the tension and change the subject.

Dean let out a soft chuckle, thankful for the attempt to lighten things up. “Hey, that’s a good idea!” He smiled. “I’ll find myself a fake girlfriend! Ask her to be my date and then when the holidays are over, I’ll be a free man once again!” All the tension was gone and Dean was back to his merry self.

“Dude, you know that I’m only kidding right?”

“No, no. That’s actually a good idea!”

“Dean! You’d be lying to your family. You can’t really just ask someone to help you con your family into believing that the two of you are in love. They’ll see right through you! Unless…” you paused.

“Unless what?” Dean was practically sitting at the edge of his seat, eager to know what you had in mind.

“You could take Cass with you and pretend your gay?” The look on Dean’s face was classic, making you burst into laughter.

“Not funny. You’re so not funny,” he hissed, his expression in bitch-face mode.

“Don’t lie. It was kind of funny,” you stated, turning off the stove and shoving the eggs on a plate.

“Not by a long shot.” Dean mumbled, separating some of the bacon onto the plate with the eggs and some of the eggs onto the plate with bacon. You always had a thing for using the least amount of dishes as possible. It was a quirk of yours and you weren’t sure where you had gotten it or when it had started, but you figured that you just like the idea that in the end, it would be less work to do later.

After breakfast, you and Dean strolled towards campus, Dean carried your bag the entire walk there. Jo, Misha, and Meg, who you were surprised to see, were all waiting for you at the courtyard, chatting and seemingly having a good time. Jo was scowling, Meg was smirking at her, and Cass looked completely over it. It seemed about right.

“Looks like Cass is having fun,” Dean said, making you laugh.

“So much fun. Look at that face,” you spat, Dean joined in on your laughing, seeing the unpleasant look on Cass’s face. “Hey guys,” you greeted, hugging Jo before waving and smiling at the others.

“Thank God you’re here!” She whispered, “Talk about an awkward pair. They make me feel so uncomfortable.”

“Oh c’mon,” you giggled, “they can’t be that bad.”

“You don’t know what bad is!” Jo gave you a suggestive look.

“Wow, never thought Morticia could leave Gomez. The two of you were so in love,” Dean teased.

“Shut up, Dean.” Cass gave his friend a pointed look. “Anyways, why do you look like you woke up on the other side of the bed of a homeless man?”

“Jeez, Cass. I don’t look that bad!”

“Your jacket is inside out,” Cass pointed out. Dean groaned, setting your bag and his on the ground while he fixed his jacket. “Your hair is sticking up in all directions,” Cass continued, eying Dean’s golden brown locks, while Dean grumbled under his breath, ruffling his hair, doing his best to make it decent, “And you somehow turned into Y/N’s little bitch.”

Dean gave Cass a pointed look, unimpressed with his attempt to torment him. “I did not. I am nobody’s bitch.”

“You were carrying her bag,” Cass revealed. Even you hadn’t noticed.

“Yeah, well… it’s called chivalry. You should try it sometimes.”

Cass just glared back at his friend and vice versa, until they were interrupted. “Well, I need to head to class,” Meg announced, leaning in to give Cass a chaste kiss on the cheek. “See you later Clarence.”

You, Dean, and Jo just stood there and watched. Did she just call him Clarence? Jo wasn’t kidding when she said they were an awkward couple. You just hoped that you never got the chance to be alone with them.

“Dude, did she just call you Clarence?” Dean questioned. “And you let her?” he added. “Dude, and you say that I’m Y/N’s bitch? Dude, goth-girl’s got you wrapped around her fingers and toes. Is she that good in bed?” He harassed.

“She says it’s a nickname,” Cass defended. You and Jo laughed some more while Dean smiled, his body doing the chuckling for him. “Whatever, I have to get to class,” the blue eyed man huffed.

“See you later, Clarence,” you and Jo sang in unison.

Cass gave them his own version of a bitch face before pivoting away, making you and Jo laugh harder. “He is so easy to tease? Why is that?” Jo asked. “Anyways, I’ve got a group thing for my Psych class, so I’ll see you guys later.”

“Have fun,” you smiled, giving her another hug before she left.

Dean hit her in the back of the head, which made her retaliate back by smacking him on the cheek, their little tussle escalating quickly. “Dean!” She shouted, her hair a mess and draping all over her face.

“See you later short-stack,” he smirked.

“You are so annoying,” Jo snorted before storming off.

“Jeez, you guys fight like siblings,” you commented.

“We practically are. Me, Jo, and my brother Sammy were really close. Still are.”

“I can see that.”

Not having any classes for the day, you and Dean headed to the library. You needed to work on a term paper and Dean had to study for a test. Just as you reached the building, Dean’s phone started playing Michael Jackson’s Thriller, the ringtone he claimed was necessary for the Halloween spirit. You watched him pull out the device from his back pocket and groaned when he checked the screen.

“It’s my mom. Go ahead inside and I’ll be in soon.” You nodded at his instructions, entering through the double doors with both yours and his bags.

The bags fell heavy on the table, the resounding sound catching the attention of everyone in the room, including the librarian, who glared at you with disdain. You shrugged your shoulders muttering a soft apology around the room.

From where you were sitting, you could see Dean pacing and using his free hand to make big and fervent gestures as he spoke. He didn’t seem very happy, and from what you could tell, his brows were tense and low, nose flared, and mouth in a noticeable frown, jaw clenched so hard it seemed like his jaw would break.

Trying to distract yourself until Dean made his way by your side, you decided to get some work done. When you set your pencil down and raised your head, you were still sitting alone and he was no longer in view outside. Panic over took you and you bolted out of the library, knowing your homework and things would be safe, besides, the library had cameras everywhere.

“Dean? You called out, scanning the area for him. “Dean?!”

Little far ways, you found him sitting on a table, his shoulders slumped, with his elbows on his knees, one hand cradling the phone and the other raking through his thoroughly tousled hair. As you approached him, the closer you got, you could hear the distant mumbling.

“Mom, please. I know all you want is what’s best for me, but just trust me. That’s all I want. Even if I never get a girl, that doesn’t mean I’m sad or lonely. Can you just be patient? Please? For me?”

“Dean?” Your voice was soft as you took a seat beside him. He flashed you an apologetic smile, bringing up his pointer finger to his lips, silently telling you to keep quiet, however it wasn’t in a rude way. You nodded in response and nestled beside him, close enough that you could easily make out a female voice on the other side and what she was saying.

“Dean, I’ve arranged a date with a friend of mine’s daughter. She’s cute, sweet, and—”

“Mom, no. Please. I don’t want—I won’t.”

“What do you mean you wont? You will!” His mother barked back.

“Mom, please! I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to finish school. Is that too much to ask?”

There was a heavy sigh. “Sweetheart, fine. What about a compromise? If you go out on one date, just one, with my friend’s daughter, I’ll drop my pestering for the rest of the year.” You looked over at Dean, giving him a thumbs up. You figured one date wouldn’t hurt anybody.

Dean shook his head side to side in response to you, and you crossed your arms pouting childishly. Your green-eyed friend smiled before paying attention to the conversation he was having with his mother.

“No, mom.”

“Why not? I promise, just one date and I’ll stop.”

“No mom, because I already have a girlfriend!” Dean blurted.

“What?!” You shouted at the same time his mom did through the phone.

“Dean, who was that? Is that her? Can I talk to her? I’ll be good, I promise!” Dean’s mom, begged.

“Mom, no. That’s not her. Just a friend I’m studying with,” Dean explained.

“Fine. Just make sure you bring her home for the holidays! I would love to meet the woman that snatched my sweet little man—”

“Mom!” Dean whined with embarrassment.

“Alright, alright. I’ll call again later. I love you Dean.”

“Love you too mom,” Dean smiled, unable to resist the warmth encasing his heart.

Just as Dean pressed the end button, his arm was suddenly assaulted by your fist. “Dude!”

“Ow,” Dean cried, coddling his arm with his free hand. “What the hell?”

“You don’t have a girlfriend!” You hissed.

“I know. That’s why I’ll need to find one fast,” Dean groaned, swiping his hand down his face.

“You just got yourself in deep shit, Winchester,” you scolded.

“It was your idea. You’re the one who put it in my head, and I just panicked!”

“Dammit, you are so lucky I love you and that I am the bestest, yeah, I said bestest, friend in the entire planet!” You hissed, poking his chest. “And because I am the nicest person you’ll ever know, I’ll help you find a nice girl to bring home to mama,” your expression quickly changed, winking over at Dean.

Dean shuddered at your choice of phrase. “First off, don’t ever say ‘bring home to mama’ ever again, and secondly… man, you’re weird.” Dean gave you a look that mildly resembled that of disgust.

“Oh please! That’s why you love me!” You wrapped your arm around his neck, lowering him to your level and ruffling his hair.

“Dude, dude! Do you know how long it took me to get my hair just right?” He joked.

“You’re an idiot,” you giggled, letting him go. Dean smiled down at you, appreciating the fact that he had a friend like you.

“Wingman?” He asked.

“The best there ever was… for my sweet little man!”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Dean laughed, lightly shoving you away.

Say Something Nice Here!

Falling for the Holidays Tags: @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @winchesterprincessbride @amanda-teaches @dancingalone21 @a-winchester-fairytale @dolphincliffs @oneshoeshort @brewsthespirit-blog @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @atc74 @natasha-baggins @heavymetalhauswife @linki-locks11 @spnwoman @veevm @chameleah86 @kdcollinsauthor @claitynroberts @roonyxx @rainflowermoon @ladylaylo @closetspngirl

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #183

UPDATE 183: Narrative Takeover

Last time everything went wrong for so many characters. John’s fight with Caliborn went awry, Jane’s plan to seduce Jake didn’t work because he kept thinking of Dirk, and Dave and Karkaroni’s political strategy meeting got derailed by Jade deciding it was a good time for romantic overtures. So now let’s continue.

So, now that they have been dumped in middle of the chaos that’s destroying all the known existence and reality, John checks the situation. Lord English is up there, in front of the black hole, seemingly impervious to its strong absorbing effect.

Unlike his younger form, his eyes aren’t flickering wildly. They’re locked in place, an eight ball in each socket.

If I remember correctly from the booklet about pool I read like six years ago when I started playing pool for fun, the eighth ball is the last one you must sink, so I’d say it indicates it’s endgame. I think it also had happened in Arc 7. Symbolism!

Tavros is over there, leading an army, Vriska is nowhere to be seen and presumably is very dead, and Meenah was supposed to be going away, I think? Anyway, it’s fight time! Everyone already has their weapons at the ready – all the weapons that are supposed to hit Lord English pretty hard – and Rose tries to remind them what exactly their plan is. She barely gets a single word out before she’s dead.

But Rose doesn’t get to finish what she was trying to say. Lord English’s mouth roars open and a wave of energy blasts through your group. Rose is the only one caught in it. She dissolves in slow motion. You can see the outline of her body in shadow. One arm thrown up over her eyes, shoulders pulled up defensively, cape billowing out behind her. She leaves an afterimage of shimmering light in her wake and then dissipates, drifting apart like a handful of salt tossed out to sea. You can almost hear the cosmic clock counting down, tick tock, and a chime to accompany her fate: Heroic.

This fight lasted like three seconds before it all looked grim as heck for John and friends. This is going to wreck everyone’s morale and ruin whatever effective plan they had, as I really doubt Rose was supposed to stand aside and let everybody else act. They’re so doomed.

As if to underscore how screwed they are, Jade tries to use her powers and finds out the black hole up there is where the green sun used to be. It made Lord English vulnerable, but she’s powerless now too. Whooops. Kind of a big oversight. How didn’t John or Future Rose foresee that detail? It’s kind of important!

With that, two of the four are now dead and they haven’t gotten started for real. Dave is trying to cut Lord English with the cueball sword, John is...standing around, I suppose, until he snaps out of it and surrounds Lord English with wind, capturing him until he tries to smash his skull with the hammer. Lord English eats the hammer. I’m...okay, I didn’t see that coming. I appreciate the move a lot. John can’t do much else because his glasses are broken, so he can’t see well at all. Good thing Meenah is around now! What a lifesaver!

Time to assess the situation and check how badly things have turned in...like a minute or so. As I always say: a minute is quite a long time in a fight!

Ghostly Tavros and another one of John’s hammers join the list of casualties, Meenah deciding to go in for the kill. Not unless you turn into Dave, gal! Not that Dave is faring much better, he’s trying to harm Lord English but he’s way too fast, even for Dave, who is no slouch in the agility department. That’s incredibly quick, and he’s not fueled by the green sun right now. Everything is awful for the heroes here!

Meenah is launched away and I can only guess she’s dead, because in this scenario being thrown away is kind of fatal due to the huge black hole up there. Dave is under Lord English’s foot, John barely saves him by throwing more hammer at Lord English for him to eat, and tries to set up a hammer barrier to prepare that silly thing he made with the legendary Zillyhoo and Vriska’s dice. If they need a lucky hit they sure need it now!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < waaaaaaaaaaaait

...oooooooh no. I had completely forgotten this existed. Hey, what’s new? Will you be able to defeat Lord English? At least Dave is reacting with horror, which is the right reaction when you see a copy of yourself that was merged with a cat. Davepetasprite is being inspirational, trying to psyche up Dave, and it works!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i know it looks pawful right now but we can do it

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in fact were literally the only ones who can do it

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < after all

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it is our destiny B33

You also are the last three people left here, so I don’t think it’s much about destiny at this point.

Somehow, between the three of them they manage to do real damage on this monster. John’s hitting him with hammers even if Lord English keeps eating them, Dave slashes and actually gets blood, and Davepeta scratches with the claws. The cycle continues, Lord English almost eats John’s favorite hammer, just that this time he almost gets John himself. Well then. This story is truly something.

Apparently John got injured with Lord English’s teeth or something, because he’s bleeding heavily. I swear, if John dies because he got bitten by Lord English I’m going to be astonished, because that was never a cause of death I imagine would ever happen.

You lift your chin and see it: Lord English’s gold tooth cracked off at the base and embedded in your chest. It must be stuck between two of your ribs, you think, because it hurts like a bitch when you try to breathe.

Oof, you’re in big trouble! When you have something embedded into you you really shouldn’t take it out unless you’re in a professional’s hands, so it’s pretty likely John will have that tooth embedded into him for quite a while. Dave isn’t doing too badly, managing to stab Lord English with the cueball sword up the hilt, unfortunately leaving him vulnerable to Lord English’s maw. Oh god, he has tasted human blood, everyone run! Too late for Dave, though, he gets his head bitten off.

Won’t lie, that’s pretty brutal as far as deaths go. Damn!

Obviously this enrages Davepeta, who grabs Lord English and flies up to the black hole, dragging him along. That was an option? Maybe it’d have been great to have done that much earlier, before Dave died. Really would have been nice.

The black hole—the gaping, implacable, cosmic embodiment of the dead cherub, his long-departed sister—finally welcomes Lord English home.

English and Davepeta are sucked in with a subatomic whimper. The reunion sends shock waves across the pitiful remains of Paradox Space. And then everything is wholly, utterly, and categorically silent. It’s over. Lord English is dead.

Ding dong, the witch is dead. Somehow it’s done! Excellent! Now, here comes opinions about this whole sequence.

To be perfectly honest, this left a lot to be desired. The least of my complaints is the length – for a climactic fight it’s a little bit short. Which isn’t really a problem here, given this isn’t Homestuck anymore, it’s the epilogue. The fight not getting focus is fine and dandy, honestly. I’m actually surprised we got a fight at all.

What I will complain about, though, is that for something that pretty much only Davepeta got to do something worthwhile. It feels like pretty much everyone else who intervened, both alive and dead, were there just to die. It’s pretty disappointing, really. I think I’d have been okay with that if they at least had managed to do something before dying.

Curiously enough, if this had been incorporated into the story, characters dying so fast would have been less bad. I’d say this being part of epilogues is what makes this be treated differently to how it’d be otherwise. But yeah, Lord English is dead, and there’s plenty of epilogue left. I suppose that means the political stuff is what’ll fill the rest of the epilogue in this route, no?

You collapse against whatever is passing for the floor at this moment of utterly null corporeal conditions surrounding you. It doesn’t feel possible. You’re not sure you can even trust your perception well enough to believe it. But it seems to be over. You’ve convinced yourself of this truth well enough to allow yourself to exhale. Enough to allow yourself to suddenly acknowledge the agony coursing through your body, emanating from the gold tooth lodged in your chest. Enough to allow yourself to succumb to the overwhelming urge to sleep.

He’s so dead. And so, all the Wonderkids are dead, total party kill. They tried and they succeeded, mostly thanks to a timely intervention by what turned out to be the best sprite just for killing Lord English, and now they’re all dead. I’m pretty sure by now this makes Homestuck qualify as a Greek tragedy.

Ah, there’s the conversation Rose and Dirk are going to have. She starts by talking about that novel she wrote in her diaries, the ones about wizards. She feels the story as written by the adult Rose Dirk knew from his original world didn’t have as much passion as she did when she wrote the original draft in her journals. Maybe! When you write something for a widespread public, you have to kill a liiiiittle of your own passion to tailor it for a wider audience. It’s a cynical thought, I admit, but I believe I’m right.

ROSE: Anyway, my point is that I’ve long suspected my story was a pre-manifestation of my Seer of Light powers. I was seeing beyond my universe into another.

Doesn’t sound farfetched to me, I must say. It’s possible that, from her early ages, she was unconsciously starting to tap onto the many powers and abilities that come with her title and role. I mean, Mom Lalonde was there, and I believe in her own way she’d help pave the way for the kids to achieve what was needed to triumph. She may have done something, inadvertently or not, that led to Rose writing her novel in a fit of inspiration. Who knows. Certainly not me, and it’s such a minuscule point in the vast net of Homestuck I doubt it’ll be ever touched.

I hadn’t noticed until now that in the end a total of twelve players had crossed the door into the new universe. Fun number for that. Also, Terezi’s name is among them, so she did get to the new universe after all. What happened to her?

All these numbers may or may not have significance. Hah! Well it depends on what kind of author writes the story. Given it’s Hussie, well, I’m inclined towards thinking there’s some significance. Whether the reader will find out about it is an entirely different manner, of course.

Of course Dirk has given his current situation a lot of thought, he even has theories about what’s it. I’m listening, pal, enlighten me about this new plotline.  

DIRK: I mean, some of us have stopped using our powers completely. Not a whole lot of need for emergency resurrections or complex timeline manipulation on a planet that’s never had a conflict more serious than a sportsball riot or a rumpled hat shortage.

DIRK: But even aside from how often they’re used...

DIRK: Some powers don’t lend themselves to the infinite expansion of one’s mind, the way ours do.

ROSE: I see.

ROSE: So what you’re saying is, it’s more a matter of one’s aspect than it is whether one’s powers are practiced further, or allowed to atrophy.

DIRK: Yep.

So it all depends on the power. It’s not like everyone’s going to start suffering this too, it seems to be limited to what aspect it is. Perhaps Jade and Dave would go through this too? Other than them, I’m not sure anyone else would.

ROSE: In that case, perhaps Terezi had the right idea.

ROSE: Getting away from this place, I mean.

ROSE: Maybe I was a fool for imagining I could settle down here.

Ah, so that’s what happened to Terezi. She left. Maybe she had a feeling things wouldn’t go well, it does make sense she’d be feeling the awfulness Dirk and Rose feel right now. With her Mind aspect, it does make sense she would. Where’d she go, though? Is she a nomad around the world or something?

Dirk’s taking this easier than most would because he’s used to multitasking. Ah, right, he did have his dreamself and his realself, dealing with both must have given him some practice. Still, two is nowhere close to the infinity of everything, so I’m skeptic it’s as good of a training as he says it was.

ROSE: I’m caught in the liminal space between reality and reverie, where people once believed demons dwelled. But the only reason the demon is still sitting on my chest is because I refuse to banish it. All it would take is looking directly at it.

ROSE: I’m forcing myself to stumble through my life as a sleepwalker. All this pain and sorrow could go away if I would just allow myself to wake up.

DIRK: Then why don’t you?

ROSE: Because I’m not sure that the person opening her eyes will be me.

Brings to mind that about us being someone’s dream and, when that someone wakes up, it’s all over. It’s the kind of thing that brings existential crisis when you think about it too hard, isn’t it? So, if Rose here’s experiencing something similar, she’s not going to have a good time because she’s the kind of person who thinks a lot. Nobody should be jealous of these two, that’s awful.

Dirk, in what’s unusually close to sympathy, crouches and takes off his sunglasses, looking straight at Rose’s eyes. He admits he’s a very flawed person and shouldn’t be always right, and that he knows all about his own flaws.

Rose’s eyes have grown distant, almost mirrorlike. Dirk can see himself reflected in her vacant stare.

ROSE: All the pieces in their place.

ROSE: The mechanisms all running smoothly.

She says this in a hollow tone. It’s the disarming voice a puppeteer ventriloquizes for a marionette.

...okaaaay, something happened. If I’m understanding this and the next few sentences correctly, Dirk pretty much took over Rose. I don’t know why, he just did. Althoooough...hm. It’s still early. Maybe the reasons will be revealed later. But hey, you can’t say this was predicted! Also, if I had to guess, the moment Rose was taken over was when he took off his sunglasses. It just makes sense, really.

Whyyyy is the text turning orange. Dirk, are you taking over the narration?

Yup, he did, and he’s addressing the reader. He sounds pretty bitter there are readers, and brags about he can make the reader’s perspective change and turn into a character’s perspective. No complaints from me for you doing that, really, be my guest.

But I haven’t revealed myself to you just to boast about the abilities arising from the gradual obliteration of the constraints on my consciousness. I’ve only taken a moment to answer a few questions. Not ones I heard you ask—because again, you are nonspecific and therefore do not matter—but ones I imagined you asking. And by imagining these questions, they became less fake, and as such, demanded similarly non-fake answers. No, in truth, the time has come to make my presence known in order to start bringing my plans to fruition. It’s time to get down to fucking business.

Eh. Sounds to me like Dirk wants to ramble and wants an excuse to do so, even if he has to make that excuse himself. Golly, pal, you have free control of the narrative. Ramble all you want, go ahead.

To continue the narrative, John has to wake up and does so. I suppose he being sleepy and exhausted after the fight was just he being sleepy and exhausted instead of being borderline dead because of blood loss. Dirk forces the narrative to make John apologize to no one for everything that happened in the battle, and it’s all so heavy-handed even John notices something’s going on with his head. Dirk, you’re not doing a very good job at being subtle.

Suddenly you remember: Lord English’s tooth is still embedded in your chest. You panic, wrap your hands around the base, and give it a little tug. It’s excruciating. The tooth makes an awful grating sound as it grinds along one of your ribs. You gasp and lose your grip, biting the inside of your mouth so hard that you taste blood.

Can’t blame you for trying, but I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Without someone to administer proper medical care, you’ll bleed to death pretty much instantly.

Yeah, exactly! Not that there’s anyone to administer proper medical care in the middle of literal nowhere, so he’ll have to transport himself somewhere else before he touches that tooth any further. Where’s John, anyway? Is he still lying around underneath the black hole? Did he zap himself somewhere else?

On the other hand, the tooth is poisoned. So you’re pretty much fucked either way, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter.

Oh. That’s a thing now? Well then, guess you’re screwed, John. Thanks for everything, have a nice death. I suppose it would count as a heroic death because he received that fatal wound fighting someone who was obliterating reality, so being revived isn’t an option, I suppose.

John wanders around for a very long time, depressed and feeling pretty awful, until he sees Dad Egbert’s wallet. It’s a coincidence to find it anywhere in the infinite expanse of reality! John opens the wallet, aaaaand...end page! Quick, make a distraction and go check some other place. It’s the usual Homestuck style, so that’s what happens.

Jade’s explaining Dave and Karkaroni’s political ambitions to Roxy and Calliope, once again using the terms ‘neoliberal austerity measures’. I’m still unsure what that’s supposed to mean, but whatever it is makes Roxy groan, no doubt because she has heard about said measures too much already. They’re bad, and Karkaroni’s underdog populism is the counter to those, she argues. Give him a chance! Unfortunately for Elect-a-Troll 20xx, it doesn’t seem like Calliope and Roxy are very interested in getting involved in this at all.

ROXY: i just dont rly

ROXY: care about politics that much i guess

I suppose this means she’s not going to support Jane either. Hey, better for her to not be interested than for her to be on the opposite side. This is a victory of some sort.

She’s reticent to supporting anyone not only because she’s not interested in politics, but also because it’s a fight between her friends and she sure isn’t eager to going against a friend. She also knows this is something Jane has been planning for a long time, so she’s not into ruining Jane’s plans – even though she won’t really go out and say she supports Jane. I really disagree Jane is fragile, though. She’s anything but fragile.

In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has. If I had to guess, it’s her Void powers that make her invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself. For all intents and purposes, it’s like her thoughts don’t exist. She’s the same person, as far as I can tell. She still wears her heart on her sleeve. But the bottom line remains: Roxy Lalonde is still utterly fucking inscrutable.

Which is a very good thing for her. I wonder if this means Dirk would be unable to do anything with the narration involving Roxy, if she’s invisible for even the increasingly omniscient parties. In that case, she’s the luckiest person in this entire canon. Good thing, too, given how Dirk is a fervent supporter of Jane, so he can’t manipulate her into doing anything.

Roxy’s staying out, but what about Calliope? She doesn’t want any of this either, because it’d be stressful as all hell and that’s a very valid reason to not want to get involved in politics, especially if it’s between competing friends. At least Jade understands well enough and doesn’t insist.

Apparently Roxy asking Jade to call both Calliope and her by ��them’ throws Dirk off to the point he has to hastily say aloud he doesn’t care and that he’s very okay with this, you guys, it’s totally okay. I don’t know, when this kind of thing is written or said like he did I can only think that person is indeed not okay with it. Dirk really should stop his rambling for once before he shoves his feet deeper into his mouth.

For a person that’s starting to be omniscient and spent an entire page mocking the reader and being vainglorious he sure is pretty concerned with keeping up the appearances.

ROXY: i mean what am i gonna do

ROXY: get married and pop out 100 bbs?

I mean, with ectobiology that’s far easier and simpler than you make it sound. You don’t even have to get married for that.

I choose to believe Dirk has gotten so flustered by the conversation about Roxy and Calliope being non-binary he chose to make Jade be unconscious. He had to stop the conversation somehow, so he made her do astral plane stuff. Smooth, Dirk, smooth as a brick.

I may as well stop here for the time being.

Next update: next time

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Holiday handicap; Avengers x teen reader

Hey guys well I hope you guys had a wonderful holiday and the New Year is coming up which mean BLACK PANTHER AND INFINITY WAR WILL BE HERE SOON AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am psyched for both movies :) Anyways a treat for all of u cause I’ve managed to get two requests done so my next one will be up in just a few minutes but for now this comes from @jo-stark who wanted another Avengers x teen reader with the reader being Tony’s sister. Now it takes place during Christmas so this is a little late but it’s done so I hope you enjoy it dearie as well as the rest of you :) Have a Happy New Year everyone and may 2018 be better to us than this year was.

Taglist:

@evyiione

_____________________________________________________

Mirror spears were flying everywhere, magical shields blocking their attacks and relics being opened or activated in order to take down their opponents. I was one of the Guardians of the London Sanctum and it was yet again under attack. I used my Sword of Valinor to cut the demon down when I noticed one of the dark sorcerers holding up a relic similar to a grenade.  He threw it and then he and the demons disappeared as I cried out for everyone to get out but it was too late.

The grenade detonated. I was sent flying 10 feet in the air and landed on my leg before blacking out.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in a room with my leg in a cast resting on a pillow.

“Ahh good you’re awake”. I turned to see my Mystic Arts teacher Doctor Strange.

“Doctor Strange, I….”

“Shhh, relax (y/n). You took quite a fall back there. You’re lucky Wong and I found you when we did”.

“The others, are they….”

“Some of them are here but the rest…..I’m sorry I couldn’t save them”.  I let a few tears fall from my face.  Then I choked out.

“How bad is it?”

“Thankfully there wasn’t any permanent damage but you are gonna need to keep that cast on for a week and I require you to take it easy until you are healed, which is why I took the liberty of calling your brother”. My eyes widened.

“You didn’t!” I snapped.

“I did and he should be here right about….”

“(Y/N)!? (Y/N) WHERE IS SHE!?”

“Now”. Suddenly storming up the stairs was my brother the one and only Tony Stark.

“(N/n) oh thank God!” He immediately came up to me and glomped me making me groan in pain. “Sorry I’m sorry, what happened to you?”

“I can explain Stark” stated my master as he took Tony aside and Wong came up to me and patched my face up.

“Thank you Wong”.

“For the youngest and strongest of our students, anytime. Stephen is right about one thing, you were lucky to make it out alive due to the fact you were the closest person to the detonator”.

“Yeah well I don’t feel lucky, not to mention that it’s Christmas time and I still need to go shopping for gifts and all that. Oh man my brother and the rest of the Avengers are gonna baby me to no end”. Wong softly scoffed then my brother and Master Strange came in and Tony said.

“Alright baby sis, the Doc informed me of what we need to do so let’s get you home”. Tony then picked me up and took me down the stairs, out of the New York Sanctum and into the car where Happy was sitting in the driver seat. “Alright, in we go, nice and easy there (n/n)”.  He set me down and he placed a pillow under my leg and asked me if I was comfy which I was he then closed the door and got up front with Happy and ordered him to drive back to the Avengers facility.

I was sent well more like ordered by my brother that I needed a quiet, more outdoorsy recovery scenery so I was taken to the Avengers facility in upstate NY where I could recover in peace.

NOT!! 

Not even a day in, I was bored out of my mind. Tony made sure to have all the Avengers watch me like hawks if I so much as sat up from my bed.  I was waited on hand and foot and even though I liked being served like a queen, it got annoying that they would all come in every second just to check on me.

Early one morning before anyone was awake, I suddenly felt hungry for something sweet and knowing my secret stash of M&M’s were still down in the kitchen, I wanted them.  So using my crutches, I walked towards the elevator and pressed the button for the kitchen.

I then crutched my way over and took a chair and as quietly as I could, I scoot it over next to the fridge so that I could reach the cabinet it was in.  I first sat down then cautiously pulled my legs up, then using my good leg, I pushed myself up while leaning against the counter and just as I was about to reach the cabinet I heard an exclamation.

“(Y/F/N) (M/N) STARK!!!” I let out a scream and nearly fell when I was caught by a pair of arms.  I looked up to see both Steve and Bucky standing over me.

“What the hell guys!?”

“More like what the hell were you thinking climbing up the counter like that!?” exclaimed Bucky.

“My sweet tooth was calling me!”

“So you call us and we’ll get it for you”. Stated Steve.

“You don’t understand I wanted my secret stash of M&M’s and if ya’ll knew where it was I’d never be able to hide candy from you guys again!”

“I’ll tell you what. You tell one of us where your stash is at and while the other takes you back to your room, we won’t discuss this ever again, okay kid?” Bucky proposed.  I debated heavily on it and finally confessed.

Knowing Bucky was a closed book and trusting him more than Rogers to keep his mouth shut about my secret candy stash, I whispered in his ear where my M&M’s were and Steve carried me like a baby back to my room and just as he settled me back down on my bed, Bucky came in with my M&M’s.  

He handed them to me and I began chowing down and I thanked them and Steve left leaving Bucky to watch over me and ready to take my bag back to my secret hide way. 

It was pretty much the same thing over and over again if I tried to get on top of something, or even so much as tried to get out of bed. I just wish they would stop treating me like some kind of child and see that I can still get around well enough without them hoovering over my like vultures. 

The next incident that happened was when I was trying to help decorate the facility for Christmas.  I always loved putting the star on top of the tree, it was traditional for me to do it but now with my leg busted I couldn’t get up on the step ladder to do it but then it occurred to me, I didn’t have to use physical labor, I could use a bit of magic to get it up there.

I used the levitation spell to lift myself up with the star on hand and just as I was about to adjust the star just right, I heard my full name being called out once again and I nearly lost concentration if I hadn’t grabbed onto the tree and the roof of the building.  I turned to see my brother and Bruce standing there looking at me in shock.

“Are you kidding me!?” I proclaimed.

“You just get your sassy little butt back down here this minute young lady!” exclaimed my brother.  I put the star in place then slowly placed myself back down on the ground and my brother said again, “are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Yes that has been my plan all along since I was ten”.

“Don’t you sass your brother young lady! I thought I told you to take it easy?”

“I was doing just fine till you came in and nearly broke my concentration”.

“(Y/n) putting stress on that leg won’t make it heal any faster” stated Bruce.

“I know but…I’m going crazy guys. All week it’s been ‘(y/n) don’t do that!’ or ‘(y/n) get down from there!’ I’m not helpless and I can still help out around here. God I’m so sick and tired of being treated like a baby when you of all people know I can take care of myself”. Tony sighed deeply and came up to me and placed his hands on my face cupping it gently and he said.

“I know you can look after yourself (n/n). I’ve never denied that, but when Strange called me and told me what happened to you in London I….I thought I had lost the only real family I had left. If something had ever happened to you I wouldn’t know what to do”.  I looked at my brother and saw the intense concern and regret filling his eyes and he may deny it but I could swear I saw a tear forming in his eye.

I hugged my brother tightly and he held me close to him as he buried his face into my neck and I said to him.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily Tony, I’m like the annoying flea that’ll always stick by your side”.

“You maybe a pest sometimes but you’re my pest and I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world”.  I smiled up at him and he smiled down at me before kissing my forehead. “I’ll make you a deal, how about we have ourselves a Christmas movie marathon and then tomorrow you can help with passing out the decorations, deal?”

“Deal Big T”. We pecked each other cheeks in agreement and then we all gathered in the living room for a family Christmas movie marathon so that I would finally get the rest I needed for the day.  

Then just as we agreed on, the next day I would sit on a chair right by the Christmas tree and help put decorations on it and whenever the team needed something, I would fish it out of one of the many boxes then they would come to me and take it and hang it up or place it on a stand.

Even though I had to spend Christmas with a broken leg, I at least got to still be a part of the festivities and spend another Christmas with my family and hopefully I would have many more to come.

[collectivedreamscapes-moved]

Today I am thinking about limitations and disabilites and the fact that words of encouragement hurt me.

I grew up on ‘Anything is possible if only you believe.’ But the truth is you can’t be something you’re not.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has things they can and can’t do. Success isn’t based on your IQ or your intelligence. I should know.

I will go to the mat defending anyone else I care about. Telling them what they can do when they feel worthless, offer encouragement, remind them they matter to me. I try to offer suggestions or a shoulder. I try to be supportive in the only way I really can.

I’m really good with words sometimes.

But for us? Sometimes words are just words.

Words don’t change days when I am physically incapable of sitting up without support, when just using my arm hurts, when walking is actually more dangerous than staying in one place but I still have to do it. Crutches help, but when my shoulder is also fucked up, they’re useless to me.

But resources only become avaliable with a doctor’s diagnosis proving you NEED the help and even then you have to fight for it. I don’t even have that.

Physically alone, not even getting to anything else, from the time I was 12 you know what I’ve been told? It’s not great but it’s not bad enough to need more help than 'this’. Physically, I have been diagnosed with 'minor’ scoliosis, degenerative bone condition (by one doctor at 16 and then never spoken of again by any other) and 'mild’ lupus (by one doctor after extensive testing and denied by four after an inconclusive blood test). I have had every inch of my body scanned, I have had multiple x-rays of every part of me (I joked at fucking 17 I should glow in the dark). I have been told I have fibromyalgia.

Every single doctor seems to think the amount of pain I am continuously in is more than I should be but none have any suggestions that are helpful. (Like yeah, I would totally exercise… if I had the energy to move and if the exercise didn’t cause as much painas not.) None seem to know why we fall as often as we do, why we have intermittent but persistent tremors.

When I have access to a wheelchair, I am a rock star. Because I can use them, because I don’t worry about random collapses, because I rely less on needing help. You know how much a wheelchair costs? Or how it doesn’t help in a house like this one?

I get tired of fighting the system. There are half a dozen specialists I have been told I should see over the last 15 years. My insurance (when I have it) makes that a helluvalot harder.

And this… is just the issues with pain I have had since I was 12. Since I was 12 what I have learned is that if there is no VISIBLE reason for something to be wrong, no OBVIOUS reason immediately discernible, then NOTHING is really wrong.

You see where this is going?

My disability determination is based on my PTSD and bipolar diagnosis. I get paid once a month because I’m too unstable to hold a job. But most people who encounter me casually don’t see that. Even therapists have said we appear to be such a 'bright, intelligent woman’.

In this society, people expect anyone with THAT kind of label to be a functioning member of society. I’m not. I never have been. I cover well. I learned the game. I can even play it fairly well. Or used to. Lately… not so much.

My father lost his leg in the Vietnam War before I was born. I never knew him with two legs. And he resented the word ‘disabled’ and everything attached to it. He wouldn’t even get a handicap licence plate or use the parking spaces (on days when he legitimately needed them) until he was in his 60s as a point of pride. I grew up with this man and hearing people praising what he’d done despite the lack of a leg. Is it any wonder we have problems with this concept of accepting limitations? Because we hear in our head 'he was legit disabled and did all that shit what have we got to bitch about?’

In our teens and 20s and 30s we were 'too young’ to suffer all our physical problems. And the psych shit? The only people who seem to care are those who have to deal with it personally.

And none of this was what we came here to write. We came here to write that sometimes things are legit beyond one’s physical or mental capabilities. And on days when I know I can’t function even to MY 'normal’, much less a NORMIE’S 'normal’, all I wanna do is cry.

I have spent my entire life pushing myself to exceed a 'normal’ I should never have had to be reaching for in the first place. But… as my father so eloquently put it, I was starting with two strikes against me: being black and being female. having to work harder to get the same consideration is a reality. You add the OTHER shit in there?

I’m now 44 (or the body is anyway). After four decades of pushing ourselves so fucking hard, is it any wonder we’re fucking tired and hopleless all the time? We’ve spent so much time fighting to appear normal, is it any wonder that accepting the word 'disabled’ is like a punch to the gut?

The truth is we’ve been disabled for a damn long time. The truth also is that in my family ‘disabled’ was another word to mean ‘excuse for laziness’. It hurts way deep down every time the word is applied to us, even knowing how accurate it is. Because we’ve seen how people treat those who are disabled. Because we’ve never really considered ourselves part of their number deep down. Because we have fought tooth and nail to be… everything but what we are.

My dad used to say he never told us that asking for help is bad. And we could never, as a kid, articulate why that statement rang false. Because no, he never said those specific words. But kids learn by observation and everything he did screamed that you don’t ask for help. And 35 years later... this is still one of the biggest problems we have. We have been told that we honestly should ask for help a LONG time before we actually do, which continuously boggles our mind. Because in our heads, you are supposed to exhaust EVERY option and push yourself to the absolute limit before you ever consider asking someone else for help.

So most ‘positivity’ posts and words of encouragement... hurt us. So much. It’s like poking half healed wounds. They feel, to us, like empty words uttered to make the person saying them feel better. And we get that’s not always the case, but it doesn’t change our gut reaction to it. It has nothing to do with wanting to be jaded and cynical and edgy and everything to do with emotional wounds that still fucking hurt.

[lovemesomesurveys]

[created by: krissyw1993].

Randomly Random - Part 1

Middle name? Not sharing that.

Favorite color(s)? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

What college do you want to/or are attending? I went to a local community college and UC.

What do you want to/are you majoring in? I majored in psychology. 

Democrat/republican/other? Other.

Birthday month? July.

Do you dress according to your mood? No. I dress according to comfortability, hence why I only wear leggings and oversized graphic tees now.

Tomboy/girlie girl I’m a comfy girl.

Are you good at doing hair/make up? Nope. I don’t even try anymore, but I was never any good at it.

Do you wear glasses? Yep.

Can you drive? No.

Are you shy? Very.

Are you always worried or stressed about something? Yeppp.

Tell me about your dream wedding. I don’t plan on having one.

Randomly Random - Part 2

Do you like to sing? Sure. Too bad I don’t sing well.

Do you like to write poetry? No. I dabbled with it some when I was a teenager, but it wasn’t good.

Can you swim? No.

Do you like the pool or the ocean? I love being near the ocean, but not getting in it. I’m not a swimmer and I have a fear of deep water.

Do you hate water in your face? I like letting water go on my face in the shower, splashing water on my face, or using a mist spray fan. The spray fans are a must have for me in the summer.

Do you hold grudges? No, I’m not one to really hold a grudge.

Are you/have you ever been in love? Yes, twice.

Do you/did you ever sleep with a teddy bear? if so who gave it to you? I have a few stuffed animals that just sit on my bed.

Are you a very random person? No.

What do you do when you're nervous? I get squirmy and have a hard time sitting still, I mess with my hair, I pick at my my nails, I bite my lips, and I twiddle around with my hands.

Do you love making new friends? I haven’t wanted to be social these past few years. I’m not attempting to make any friends right now.

Do you like the twilight series? I was a big fan when the books and movies were coming out but then I outgrew it.

Favorite animal? Dogs and giraffes.

Randomly Random - Part 3

Do you have any pets? I have a doggo named Princess Leia.

What would you name your daughter? I don’t want kids, but I like the name Autumn.

^ your son? I like the name Alexander.

What length hair do you like in a guy & why? My personal preference is short hair.

Do you have friends who are shorter than you? I don’t have any friends anymore, but no just about everyone is taller than me except for little kids.

When you get mad do you cry? Yes. I cry and shutdown. 

Would you ever consider modeling? No. I’m most definitely not cut out for it and I’ve never had any desire to be one anyway.

What color eyes do you wish you had? I wish I had blue or green eyes.

Silver/gold jewelry? I like both.

Do you always wear jewelry? No. I very rarely wear jewelry anymore. 

Are you afraid of needles? Yes.

How many kids do you want? Zero.

Long/short nails? They’re hardly there.

Do you like wearing hats? Yeah, I like to wear beanies especially.

Randomly Random - Part 4

Do you love taking pics? Of my doggo and other things I may find picture worthy.

Do you sunburn easily? More so now I think than I used to. I don’t spend a lot of time outside so when I do spend some time outdoors, like when I go to the beach, my skin is like, “whoa, what is this??”

Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? No.

Do you prefer to call a person or wait for them to call you? I’d prefer not to talk on the phone at all.

Are you scared of crossing bridges? Yes.

Do you have a short attention...oh squirrel...span? No, not usually.

Do you hate sitting in silence but get irritated if someone talks too much? Ha, yes. Well, sometimes I don’t mind the silence. It depends.

Has anyone ever called you baby or hun? Yeah.

What's your favorite kind of chocolate? White chocolate.

Would you consider yourself clumsy? Somewhat.

Do you hate using public restrooms? Yes. I very rarely use one.

Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? I’ve experienced that when I had to be carried up somewhere that wasn’t wheelchair accessible and when it was done by Joseph it was kinda nice, ha.

Ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yeah, numerous times growing up.

Do you hate chihuahuas? I don’t hate them, but they’re too much for me.

Randomly Random - Part 5

Has a teacher ever made you hate your favorite subject? No. 

Do you like hairless cats? I’m sorry, but they are a little shocking at first to see.

Did you ever cry at school? There were many times where I was on the verge and wanted to, but I fought them back.

Have you ever had a poem or story published? No.

If you had/have a kid would you ever let them get a tattoo? --

What's your favorite thing to have for dinner? Wingstop.

Would you ever paint your walls red? Hm. I mean, maybe. Not my bedroom, though.

Have you ever licked a pole? Ew, no.

Has your hand ever gotten slammed in a car door? Ahhhh, yes. That is excruciatingly painful. 

Are you allergic to grass? Yes.

Do you love guinea pigs? Sure.

Do you prefer to write on chalkboards or white boards? White boards.

What is the worst thing you ever did that got you grounded? Lied about taking my medicine when I was like 11 and my mom found my stash that had been building for months behind my bed. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? Sure, why not.

Randomly Random - Part 6

What would you do if your best girlfriend said she was lesbian? Wow, I would be surprised if my mom came out for sure. I mean, she’s always been with my dad and I never had any inclination that she might be into women, so yeah it would be a surprise.

Have you ever been chased by a snake? Omg, noooo. Thankfully.

Where do you wanna work? I don’t know.

Is there something you tell yourself you're going to do but never do? Yes.

Has a teacher ever called you an idiot? No, but I felt like one because of a couple shitty math professors I had at community college. They didn’t say it, but I felt like they thought it. Not just me, but most of the class.

What awards have you won? Honor Roll awards and stuff for the psych club I was in at community college.

Do you get nervous eating in front of people? Yes.

Would you consider yourself good at taking care of kids? I’m not around kids very often. I used to babysit my younger brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids, but that’s it. I don’t have a lot of experience with working with kids.

How old would a guy have to be before you wouldn't date them? I don’t know. I’m 31 and I think I’d like to stick in the 30s. Closer to my age, preferably, but maybe up to like 35. It would depend on the situation, but that’s what I can envision as of now.

Be honest, have you ever tried weed? Yeah, several times.

Has anyone ever broken up with you with a note? No. Via Myspace message and text message, though.

Have you walked into a wall? Yes.

Do you have sensitive teeth? I do. 

Do you sleep with a fan on? Yep. Even in the winter. I don’t mind if I need to bundle up if I feel too cold, I like doing so.

Randomly Random - Part 7

When you hear sirens, do you get afraid its someone you know? No.

Do you often get nosebleeds in the winter? I’ve never had one, thankfully. I would freak out.

What's a word you use to substitute for a cuss word? “Crap.” “Dang.”  What was the worst thing you ever did to get detention/suspended? I never had detention or was suspended.

Have you ever suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder? It’s not something you experience like a cold or something, if you have PTSD then it’s something you have. It can be better managed for some and there are treatment options that can be helpful, but it’s more than likely something they’ll deal with all their life. It may be of varying degrees, everyone is different. 

Have you tried the new crackle nail polish? No. Do you enjoy the "i love you more" argument? That’s toooo cheesy lol. 

Do you like the color yellow? Yes.

Trees are awesome! Yes? Sure. They serve a pretty important purpose and they’re beautiful.

Do you suffer from nasal allergies? Oh do have relief. Yes. My eyes suffer, too.

Marrying your cousin. Yay or nay? Um, no.

Are you distracted by anything shiny at the moment? Ooo shiny!! No.

Has your parents ever called you names? No.

Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball...i have soo gross Yes. Blech.

Randomly Random - Part 8

Have you ever had a tooth pulled, i have : / Yeah, I’ve had to have a few pulled.

Do you still watch tom and jerry? : ) I haven’t in quite awhile. I saw a trailer recently for a Tom and Jerry movie that’s coming out soon, though... random.

Do you use your hairbrush as a microphone? I’ve done that before.

What's your usual morning routine? Sleeping. ha.

Do you ever get bored with something so you're unable to finish it? Sometimes. Or I’ll just stop doing it for awhile and maybe come back to it later and try again. Or I’ll just finish it anyway. It really depends on what it is.

Do you wanna redecorate your room? My room could use organization and a makeover.

Have you ever worn black to someone's house & left covered in fur? Probably.

What would i expect to find under your bed? Nothing.

If i were to walk into your room, would i be able to see the floor? Yes. I don’t have stuff all over my floor.

What is something you did when you were a kid that you still enjoy? I still like to color.

Has anyone ever said they would love you forever, was it true? Not in those words, but something like that. And no, things didn’t work out.

Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No.

Do you ever sit and look at old photo albums & recall memories? I haven’t in awhile, but yeah that is something I like to do.

Do you watch onision on YouTube, if not you should he’s hilarious. Nooo, definitely not.

Randomly Random - Part 9

Don't you just hate taking showers in the winter? It is harder for me, yes. I don’t wanna get in cause I’ll get cold beforehand and then I’ll take a hot shower, feel good, and then have to get out and feel cold again. 

Do you say "epic fail" a lot? Not a lot, but that is something I say.

How personal does a question have to be so that you wont answer? I think I’m pretty open on here for the most part. Definitely more so than I am in person, that’s for sure.

Do you ever feel like sometimes you have short term memory loss? Sometimes.

What if a stranger came up to you yelled BATMAN & ran away? I’d be caught off guard and just like, “wtf...”

What's your favorite kind of pudding? I love banana cream I used to love banana pudding, but I don’t eat thick stuff like that anymore because of the thickness and texture. My eating habits have changed a ton these past few years.

Did you ever run over something with a lawn mower? I’ve never used a lawn mower.

When someone says don't look do you look? Ha, I can’t help it.

Have you ever played spin the bottle? Nope.

Did you ever have a cat that was obsessed with shoes? I’ve never had a cat.

I believe i can fly! Ever jump off things & try to fly? No, I know for certain that I can’t fly.

What was your first Halloween costume? I feel like it was a witch. Well, when I got a little older. Not sure about the very first like when I was a baby.

Ever have chicken pox? Yeah, I had it when I was 7. Not fun.

Did you eat your Wheaties this morning ? What was for breakfast? I haven’t had Wheaties since I was a kid at my grandparents house. That was my grandpa’s favorite cereal. Anyway, it’s 4:51AM so I haven’t had breakfast, but I am craving a breakfast burrito from one of my favorite places.

[staytheb]

Is This...?

Pairing: SKZ’s Chan x OC [Chaeyeon] || SKZ’s Changbin x OC [Nayoung] Genre: slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 5,081 Summary: Changbin asks his older sister for help in confessing to the girl he likes. Ofc there’s another reason on why he did so.

Warning: none... really.

oh look, Chan is in here, too. i’m sure you know who my bias is? lol and this is one with Baby Changbin!! lol happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

revised. 9.10.20

"Hey, I need your help." Changbin asked his older sister as he barged into her room without knocking.

"Can you knock first?" Chaeyeon asked instead as she looked up from her textbooks from her bed. "What if I was changing?"

"Not at this time. I know your schedule. You don't really do anything different."

"True."

"Besides, you need to go out and hang with friends or whatever. Go date and stuff."

"I'm fine with my single self. Thank you very much. Anyways, what do you want help with?"

"I like this girl and I want her to notice me."

"I thought your wannabe cool, dark, and edgy style already made you hella noticeable." Chaeyeon mused before returning back to her homework while still listening to her little brother.

"I am dark and edgy." Changbin stated with a pout that Chaeyeon didn't see. "And I'm also very cool."

"Says the boy that's way too cheerful and active with his friends."

"So what?"

"So because he can't sleep without his Munchlax named Gyu." Chaeyeon teased her brother once more with laugh following after.

Changbin grew flustered and counter-attacked. "Hey, you still sleep with all of your stuffed animals since childhood."

"And your point is?" Chaeyeon asked glancing up at Changbin.

"You're the same as me."

"True, but I'm actually cool, dark, and edgy unlike you."

"Shut up. Will you help me or not?"

"Why don't you just asked this girl straight out that you like her." Chaeyeon advised giving him an annoyed look as she just wanted to do homework.

"I can't do that." Changbin said as he sat at the end of her bed.

"Why not?"

"Because it isn't cool."

"Coo or not, it's better to just be straight with the person you like, y'know? Anyways, I don't know why you want my help when I don't go out and stuff."

"Because you give good advice some times and you're a girl."

"Don't you have friends that can help you with this?"

"Yeah, but they'll just make it worst. Besides, you're my older sister. You're supposed to help me with these things."

Chaeyeon rolled her eyes with a sigh while closing her book. "Fine, okay. So what's your plan?"

"Well, it's just gonna involve me being cool for her to notice me."

"And what cool thing are you thinking of to get her attention?"

"Why did I let you drag me all the way to Garosu-gil?" Chaeyeon groaned as she and Changbin were on the subway headed to the 'Designer Street' so that Changbin could coolly get the attention of his crush by doing something cool to which he still hadn't revealed to her yet.

"Because you have no life and nothing else better to do. Remember?" Changbin answered as his sister elbowed him. "Ow, well it's true."

"I don't care. I still had homework that's due later tomorrow and to  just chill and relax."

"You're smart. You'll probably finish it before class begins anyways."

"That's true."

"Also, you basically chill and relax all day, every day, anyways."

"Yeah, yeah. Enough about me and now about you. How is going to Garosu gonna help with anything? You stalking her or what?"

"What? No. No. There's no stalking involved." Changbin denied with an awkward laugh before speaking again. "The boys just mentioned they'll be here hanging out when we were playing basketball after classes and we decided to hang out there later."

"I thought you were trying to get this girl's attention. You didn't mentioned the others."

"I am. I'm gonna do both. She just happens to work at one of the boutiques in Garosu-gil."

"Uh huh. So what's her name?"

"Nayoung."

"Does she go to the same school as you?"

"We did, but I graduated. She's a year under me."

"Wait a minute. You've known of her for two years and you haven't said anything to her? That's not a crush, Changbin. That's love."

Changbin shot his sister a weird look. "Love? You're crazy, Chaeyeon. That's not love. We're too young for that."

"Yeah, I'm the crazy one who hasn't taken a few classes in psychology this year. Sure, whatever." Chaeyeon muttered to herself as she leaned against her seat and crossed her arms in boredom while looking out the window. "How much longer until we get there?"

"It should be coming up soon."

"Good, because you're buying me food."

~~~~~~~~

"How many slices of cheesecake are you going to buy?" Changbin whispered in a slightly panicked tone as he watched his sister ordered another slice to her already slices of eight and counting while they stood inside C27.

"Um, that depends." Chaeyeon said with a smirk in his direction. "How much do you got on you?"

"Not enough for your sweet-tooth. Why?"

Chaeyeon's smirked grew and Changbin began to whined. "Oh c'mon, Yeon. Don't do this to me. You're supposed to take care of me."

"I'm just kidding, Bin." Chaeyeon chuckled while patting her brother's back in comfort as she pulled out her own wallet from her bag. "Sheeh. Calm down. Anyways, save the money for your date with Miss. Nayoung when you finally confess."

"Ah, don't mess with me like that."

Chaeyeon just laughed as she paid for her slices of different cheesecake while afterwards the siblings went to one of the tables inside to wait for the desserts.

"Alright, Bin. I've ordered my food and so what's your cool idea for this Nayoung girl?"

"She works over there." Changbin motioned with his chin as Chaeyeon looked out the window at the boutique opposite them. "And what are you still doing here?"

"Because you wanted cheesecake."

"No. I just wanted to mess with you for dragging me all the way here. Plus, Jisung messaged me during the subway ride that he wanted some cheesecake."

"When doesn't he want cheesecake?" Changbin scoffed. "You treat him more like a little brother than you do me."

"That's what you think. He's just as annoying as you along with the others."

"You know you love our company in your lonely loner world."

"I choose to be alone, Changbin. There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely."

"Aren't they basically the same?"

"No. Being alone is the state of being while feeling lonely is the state of the mind. Get it?"

"Not really."

"You'll understand when you experience the difference."

"Do I want to?"

"I hope that you don't, but it makes you aware of the things about yourself though."

Just then Chaeyeon's order arrived ready to go and she thanked the staff before she and Changbin got up and left the shop.

"Alright, Changbin. Stop bring up my oh so lonesome single life that you think you need to spice up. You go do you and here you go." Chaeyeon said as she handed her brother a smaller box similar to her bigger one.

"What's that?" Changbin asked eyeing the white container suspiciously.

"It's cheesecake, dummy. That's what you're going to give to your crush."

"I said I was going to do something cool."

"Knowing you, your ass is gonna embarrassed yourself in front of her and you'll never confessed to her after that."

"That's harsh."

"It's true, now go and give her this cake and asked her out on a date."

"But, I-"

"Go or I'm going to do it for you so I can get this done and over with."

Changbin let out a grumble although he took the small package before psyching himself.

"You got this, Changbin. You can do it. You're cool, dark, and edgy. There's no way she can turn you down without giving you a chance. You got this."

Chaeyeon took a seat at the table that was outside of C27 and watched her brother amusingly before taking out one of slices in her own larger container.

"Okay, I'm going." Changbin announced as Chaeyeon gave him a thumbs up. "Good luck."

Changbin nodded earnestly as Chaeyeon watched him finally make his way over to 3RD EYE. Just as Changbin had entered the boutique she was soon disturbed by a very particular and familiar voice.

"Yeon! My love!" Jisung announced happily and playfully as he glomped Chaeyeon into a hug. "I've missed you so much. I haven't seen you all day."

Chaeyeon tried to moved away from the younger male's embrace, but Jisung held onto her tighter with a pout.

"Why do you hate me, Yeon? Don't you love me?"

"Because you're annoying as fuck."

"Okay, rude."

Jisung made a face as he finally let her go and sat in one of the chair and went through the container.

"Did you get me the chocolate one?"

"Why don't you look."

"It's here! Thanks."

"You're not welcome."

"You know you love me."

"Right."

"Hi, guys." She warmly greeted the others.

"Hi, Yeon." Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin greeted her as she opened her arms for hugs knowing that they were going to give her one regardless if she wanted one or not before they sat down.

"Why do you accept their hugs all willingly, yet always reject me?" Jisung asked with a pout. "You're so mean to me."

"Because you're a brat and hug me all the time, anyways." Chaeyeon answered with a smirk and a roll of her eyes before looking at the others. "So did you guys come to support Changbin in his love confession, too?"

"I thought he said that he wanted to buy a new jacket." Seungmin stated with a puzzled look. "That's what he messaged in the group chat earlier."

"Oh that was me." Jeongin clarified. "Changbin owes me a new jacket."

"Why does he owe you a new jacket?" Jisung asked with a raised eyebrow while eating one of the cheesecake slices.

"Oh, was it because he accidentally spilled soda all over you the other day when we were watching horror movies?" Felix asked as Jeongin nodded. "Yup. It was one of my favorites."

"So basically my brother made up excuses to get y'all over here when he didn't even need me." Chaeyeon let out annoyed while glancing at the boys.

"Oh, cheer up, my love." Jisung stated while pinching her cheek as Chaeyeon swatted his hand away.

Jisung let out a chuckle before speaking again. "You're basically here if something goes wrong."

She side-eyed him. "What could go wrong?"

"Dunno."

"But like Jisung said, Yeon. You're here if anything does." Felix confirmed again with a laugh as Chaeyeon groaned. "Fuck my life, man."

"I'm pretty sure it's because of Minho." Hyunjin spoke a second later after going through the cheesecake slices to find the one he wanted to eat. "Minho mentioned that Nayoung would be working today and that she'll be working late, too."

"Oh, so he wanted to take her home and make his move like that?" Chaeyeon pieced together as Hyunjin shrugged. "Probably."

"Anyways, where is Minho?" Chaeyeon asked realizing he was missing from the group. "He was supposed to return my camera to me."

"Right here, my darling, Yeonnie." Minho announced as he placed Chaeyeon's camera onto the table and back-hugged her from behind. "I knew you always thought of me whenever I was never around despite you saying otherwise."

"Ew." Chaeyeon cringed as Jisung smacked Minho to let go of Chaeyeon. "Hey, hey. She was mine first."

"Well she's mine now." Minho smirked as he hugged Chaeyeon tighter while she rolled her eyes. "I'm nobody's and now let me go or no cake for you."

"Fine." He reluctantly said as he hugged her once more before letting her go.

Chaeyeon shook her head and wondered how she got dragged into being friends with her brother's friends then remembered something.

"Isn't there another addition to your group of friends that I was supposed to finally meet already?"

"Oh yeah, Chan." Minho said as he pulled a chair from another table to the table with his friends as he scooted himself in-between Seungmin and Chaeyeon. "He was going to join us, but he had other plans last minute."

"Oh, I see. It's weird that he's been friends with you guys for a few years now, but he's the only one that I haven't met yet." Chaeyeon voiced out with a pensive look.

"It's because he's busy with school, work, and home life compare to the rest of us." Felix answered. "The both of you always seem to have plans whenever we all try to hang out and what not."

Chaeyeon narrowed her eyes at him before sweeping it over the others. "It's because you guys have plans that always involved me without my permission."

"You have a very dull life anyways, Yeon." Jeongin stated with a goofy smile as Chaeyeon looked over at him with a frown. "You're supposed to be on my side, Jeongin."

"True, but I'm closer with Changbin than you."

"Obviously." Chaeyeon muttered the last part as she released a deep breath while picking up her camera. "No alone time for me again today."

"What was that?" Jisung asked upon hearing something as Chaeyeon shook her head. "Nothing."

 "So Changbin's doing it for real this time?" Minho asked upon realizing his friend wasn't around a few minutes later.

"That's what Yeon said." Seungmin answered. "I thought we were here for clothes."

"He might go clothes shopping since it looked like it didn't work since he came out looking sad." Felix added a second later.

"Wait, what?" Chaeyeon looked up from going through her camera towards Seungmin. "Bin already came out?"

"Yeah. Like a few seconds ago." Felix confirmed. "He threw the white box he was holding on to the ground, too."

Chaeyeon followed Felix's hand and saw the small container she had given her brother before he went inside 3RD EYE.

"Oh, he did not. That was the feature flavor this month.

"Changbin wasted good cheesecake?!" Jisung gasped. "How cruel."

"Just eat your cake, Jisung." Chaeyeon told him before looking at the others. "Where did Bin go?"

"That way." Seungmin said as he pointed in the direction that Changbin had ran off to.

Chaeyeon set her camera on the table and got up to go look for him.

"I can't believe she'll leave her cake here for us to eat." Hyunjin commented while still eating the one he grabbed earlier as Jisung agreed with a grin. "And that is why her food always gets stolen fair and square."

"True." Minho agreed as he lifted one of the slices out of the container. "But then again she always blames you."

"I know and it's usually always you."

"I know."

"Rude."

"Shouldn't we have mentioned that Nayoung already ran after Changbin?" Jeongin asked a second later while looking at the the others.

"Nah." The older four replied.

Felix tilted his head in thought. "I think we should though. Don't you guys think so?"

"Nope. We're not gonna join in that mess." Hyunjin commented before bringing out the rest of the cheesecake pieces. "Let's just eat and wait for the aftermath."

"Oh, is this also part of the other plan to get Yeon a date with Chan?" Seungmin asked a second later remembering the talks from weeks ago.

"Yeah." The others answered with mischievous looks.

~~~~~~~~

Chaeyeon quickly walked around with her head swinging left and right to try and spot her brother among the others, but couldn't see him.

"OMG, he's not that hard to spot, but when I'm actually looking for his dumbass I can't find him at all. Dafaq is this shit." Chaeyeon grumbled to herself as she moved about quickly with worried steps.

"When I find you, Seo Changbin, I'ma beat your ass first for wasting my time. Then beat it a second time for wasting a perfectly good slice of cheesecake." Chaeyeon muttered the threat against her brother. "And then I'll ask you what happened afterwards."

Just when Chaeyeon was about to give up she suddenly spotted Changbin a few meters away just chilling alone by a ginkgo tree. She let out a relieved breath upon seeing he was still okay and not hurting himself or doing something stupid.

"Bin! Binnie! Changbin!" Chaeyeon called out as she saw him lift his head to see who had called by his various names.

Before she could wave to get his attention she was suddenly pulled to the side and away from his direct line of sight.

Changbin looked around and saw someone else instead as he thought it was his sister's voice that he had heard calling his name.

"N-Nayoung?" Changbin stuttered before internally scolding himself for stuttering.

"Hi, Changbin." Nayoung shyly smiled at him. "I'm sorry if something happened at 3RD EYE to make you run off like that."

"What? Run off? Nothing happened to make me do something like that." Changbin casually said while dismissing the topic and went to coolly lean a hand against the ginkgo tree, but missed and later caught himself to right himself.

Nayoung giggled and Changbin once again internally scolded himself for making a fool of himself. He agreed with his sister. He is embarrassing himself, but he tried to save face by directing the topic elsewhere.

"Aren't you still supposed to be working?"

"Yeah, well I got off early thanks to Ayeon and Nakjoon who understood my situation at hand."

"What situation?"

"Well, not really a situation that's like bad or anything. It's just that I don't know if you know, but Chan and I are j-"

Changbin interrupted her already knowing what she was going to say.

"Yeah, I know. The both of you are dating."

Nayoung shook her head with a laugh as Changbin eyed her.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because you actually think I'm dating my neighbor who I practically grew up with and see him like an annoying older brother." Nayoung stated as she let out another chuckle. "That's why I'm laughing, Changbin."

"Wait. Chan isn't your boyfriend?" Changbin asked while removing the hand that held him against the tree before falling back against it harshly.

Changbin pushed himself up right as Nayoung nodded.

"So, you don't like Chan?" Changbin asked next with Nayoung nodding again.

"Do you perhaps like someone else?"

"Mmhmm." Nayoung hummed with an amused smile.

"Who?" Changbin asked clueless as Nayoung laughed at his cuteness before answering. "You."

"I knew you like Hyunjin since the first time he offered that piece of sushi to you two years ago during the opening ceremony." Changbin stated without realizing what Nayoung had said. "I knew it."

Nayoung raised an amused eyebrow at his reaction before Changbin recalled what she had actually said.

"Wait a minute. Me? You actually like me? Did you actually say that?"

"Yeah. I've liked you since the day I saw you performing at the talent show with Felix and Minho. I didn't know you could sing and rap like that."

"But you didn't even say anything to me that day. You just praised Felix and Minho!"

"Uh, I didn't even know you that well to praised you in a special manner. I still congratulated you guys for doing a good job even though you guys didn't win."

"You didn't even hug me."

"Because I didn't know you that well and it wasn't like you opened your arms for a hug anyways."

"I was shy and nervous."

"Oh. I thought it was because you were keeping up with your whole cool, dark, and edgy facade." Nayoung said with a smirk.

"You knew?"

"Yeah."

Changbin smiled before realizing what Nayoung had said.

"Wait a minute. It's not a facade."

"I mean to each their own, but you're still cool either way." Nayoung said with a smile.

"I wish you would tell that to my sister. She thinks I'm uncool."

"Well, the way you speak about her some times does make her a lot more cooler than you."

"That doesn't help me right now."

Nayoung laughed before suppressing the laughter upon seeing Changbin's pout.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just that I think that's normal between siblings and those that have grown up closely with one another because Chan calls me cute when I do normal things and pats my head like I'm some sort of pet a majority of the time. He's a mess."

"You're right though. Chan is a mess."

"That's why he needs to get out and meet someone like your sister."

"I don't know, Nayoung. This was like killing two birds with one stone. Plus, Yeon isn't really a people person until she becomes comfortabe with it in the end because she doesn't really have a choice and just goes with the flow."

"Yeah, Changbin. She's definitely sounds way cooler than you and I haven't even met her yet."

"I don't even know how to respond to that, but speaking of Chaeyeon I totally forgot about her. I basically ditched her with the others." Changbin admitted before realizing about what he had done earlier with widened eyes. "Oh shit. I hope she didn't see me throw away the slice of cheesecake she wanted me to give to you to ask you out."

"Oh? You were gonna asked me out?" Nayoung asked making sure she heard right even though she already knew. "And with cheesecake?"

"Uh, yeah, well, yes." Changbin finally said with a sheepish look. "I was gonna do it in a cool way, but I saw you and Chan hugging and got upset."

"Like I said earlier, Chan and I are just neighbors. Also he was hugging me for kinda setting him up with someone cool like your sister."

"Wait. I wanted to ask you out on top of trying to set my sister up with Chan, but yet you knew that, too. How?"

"Minho told me."

"Ugh. That guy was playing matchmaker behind my back."

"I'm glad because now we both know how we feel about one another. Also Chan can finally leave me alone."

"Yeah, well I wondered what my sister will do to me and the others when she finds out the truth."

"Well, we have some time until then. For now that, I have nothing planned after this and Chan seemed to have disappeared so do you wanna hang out?"

"Like in as a date kind of hang out?"

"Yeah if you're down?"

"Oh, hell yeah. I mean, yeah sure. What do you wanna do?"

"I'm starving so do you wanna go to Serosu-gil and eat around there?"

"Yes that's perfect! Let's go!" Changbin exclaimed happily while offering his hand for Nayoung to take to which she did.

"Gotcha, but I'll have to be home before eleven though or Chan will beat your ass." She told him.

"Why would he beat my ass? We're like best friends."

"He still sees me as his litter sister despite you being his friend, so I rank higher than you."

Changbin let out a heavy sigh. "I wonder if this will change anything between us."

"Let's just go get something to eat and deal with that later." Nayoung suggested before pulling his hand to urge him on.

"So is this an official date then?" Changbin asked to clarify once they started moving as Nayoung nodded with a chuckle. "Yes, Changbin. It's a date. Now let's go. I wanna get there before it gets crowded."

Nayoung pulled him again towards the area of Serosu-gil with Changbin smiling happily at the outcome of today.

~~~~~~~~

Chaeyeon looked to her left to see who had pulled her over and saw a guy around her age with his hand on her forearm. Unaware that this was the Chan that she was supposed to meet, the neighbor of Nayoung, and set up on a date unaware of that fact. Shaking his hold off of her Chaeyeon backed away from the male and gave him a once over with a weird look.

"Um, can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, you can." Chan smiled at her. "Can you not go and bother those two over there."

Chan pointed in the direction of Nayoung and Changbin while Chaeyeon cast him another weird look.

"Bother who? I'm just looking for my brother so I don't know why you pulled along with you."

"Yeah sorry about that, but you're looking for your brother?"

"Yeah. I spotted him, but then you pulled me away. He's probably beating himself up for not confessing to his crush."

"Oh!" Chan exclaimed brightly with an even brighter smile. "Are you Seo Chaeyeon?"

"Depends on who's asking." Chaeyeon replied although she continued to give Chan weird looks. "Who are you?"

"I'm Bang Chan."

"Banchan? Your parents really named you side dishes?" Chaeyeon asked with a suppressed chuckled.

"No. It's Bang and Chan. Bang Chan." He enunciated as Chaeyeon gave him an OK sign. "Ah, I see. Okay, gotcha, but yeah I'm Seo Chaeyeon."

Then something clicked in her head.

"Oh, you're a friend of Changbin's aren't you? The oh so famous Chan that I haven't gotten to meet yet, right?"

"The one and only." Chan beamed happily as Chaeyeon was wary of his happy demeanor. "Um, yeah, right."

The two stood there in silence before Chaeyeon realized she was supposed to search for her brother.

"Did you know that he was gonna ask about the Nayoung girl?" She asked Chan.

"Yes." He answered. "Nayoung's my neighbor and because these two need to work out their situation and finally confess to one another that they like each other."

"Oh, I see." Chaeyeon sighed in tiredness. "I seriously was not needed for this."

She then looked over at Chan who still had a polite smile on his face. "Anyways, it was nice meeting you, Bang Chan. Also seeing that you don't need to help those two any longer the other seven are hanging outside C27 and probably ate all of my cheesecakes by now. You can join them."

"You're already leaving?" Chan's smiled dimmed once he spoke those words.

"Uh, yeah, but it's okay. You got the other boys to keep you company." Chaeyeon smiled at him. "I still have homework to do and knowing Changbin and if this went well, he probably went on his date with Nayoung so the he won't bother with the others."

"This wasn't how it was supposed to turned out like."

"What wasn't?"

"Oh, um, just that I was wondering if you wanted to do something with me instead."

"What do you mean by do something with you? Don't you have the boys to go and hang out with?"

"Well, true, but I'm not doing anything and you're not doing anything so-"

Chaeyeon interrupted him with an amused smile. "I don't know if you heard me say it earlier, but I was gonna go back home and do homework."

"Oh, I did." Chan caught her smile and returned one of his own. "You were gonna go back, but you're not doing anything at this very moment."

"Ah, I see. Is this another one of Changbin's set up to get me to meet you and so we can date, too?"

"No, not his idea, but Nayoung's been trying to tell me to go on dates so that I can stop bothering her and she said you sounded very cool."

"Oh did she?" Chaeyeon chuckled. "The girl's never met me yet she thinks I'm cool?"

"Highly so."

"Is this your usual way of asking girls out on dates then?"

"No, but is it working?"

Chaeyeon laughed. "Sort of, but since we've just met and I'm not sure if you're gonna turn out like the others, I guess we can do something."

"What do you mean by turn out like the others?"

"It's nothing, but I have a feeling that I will regret this later or something."

"Let's see if your feelings will turn out like what you're thinking then."

Before Chaeyeon could confirm anything with Chan she received a notification and checked her phone. She rolled her eyes upon reading the words that her brother had just sent her.

"Anything important?" Chan asked upon seeing her eye-rolls.

"Changbin said he's on a date and that I should be hanging out with his friend name, Bang Chan."

"Ohh, that sounds like a nice suggestion. What are you gonna do?"

"Well," Chaeyeon stalled while putting her phone away with her mind already made up, "I would rather go home, but since you don't seem that annoying or weird as the others at this very moment I guess you and I can go do something."

"Great! Because Changbin's told me that you wanted to check out this arcade and I so happened to wanna check it out, too."

Chaeyeon gave him a narrowed look. "Are you a stalker?"

"No." Chan laughed as he waved a hand in front of him to dismissed the notion. "I'm not a stalker."

"Are you sure? Should I even be asking that? I think I need to leave area."

Chaeyeon mused while backing up as Chan reached out a hand to stop her, but didn't do so once he realized what he was about to do. Chaeyeon stopped and shot him an amused look.

"Um, sorry, but I didn't want you to go." Chan admitted with an embarrassed laugh. "Anyways, Changbin likes talking about you and I feel like we'll get along well."

Chaeyeon's jaw dropped as she made a face. "That brat talks about me to you guys?"

"Usually they're good things."

"And the other times?"

"Um, that you'll have to ask him about yourself." Chan chuckled sheepishly before pointing towards the subway station. "So to District 9 then?"

"Sure, but don't cry if you lose to me in the games."

"What? Bold of you to assume that I'll cry over arcade games."

"Yes, yes it is, but I have a feeling that I'll actually have a worthy opponent to go up against finally."

"Again, bold of you to assume that I'm actually good at arcade games."

"You know what, Bang Chan, loser pays for dinner then."

"Oh, we're getting dinner after this? Is this a date, Seo Chaeyeon?"

"Bold of you to assume that it's a date, Bang Chan." Chaeyeon said with a proud look before Chan countered her words with a smirk. "Then is it too bold of me to assume that I'll get your number afterwards?"

"Whatever. Hurry up before I leave you behind and go by myself and then you don't get anything and I return back to my life with a bunch of idiots bothering me."

Chaeyeon said before rushing off with Chan tagging alongside her while smiling all giddily at her sudden flustered reaction.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay server Log #162

“Hyrule the water Baby”

[TLOT] Poor Notch... He won't be getting any sleep at all

[CP] - Exactly, where as I'm trying to coax Lie into sleeping again

[TLOT] Poor Lie, she's still having those nightmares?

[CP] - Don't know, she hasn't fallen asleep yet

[Doc] at Steve- you found the gems?

[Steve] Yeah! Here, My love has some of them as well. Here's the diamonds - holds out the blue rock candy-

[Doc] makes a click copy and offers the gem to the little dragon

[Yaunfen] Sniffs and starts to happily gum on it-

[TLOT] Well... She is a brine, she doesn't have to sleep if she really doesn't want too

[CP] - I recall you telling me how well that worked last time...

[Doc] I think we hit the jackpot in more ways then one, was that what you wanted little one?

[Yaunfen] Happy squeaks-

[TLOT] flustered- well it's hard on your psyche if you don't let your main-frame rest, but it can be done!

[CP] Sighs- Come on, let's get going

[CP] Opens a portal to the digital realm and steps through, once everyone is through he closes the portal and turns to Doc- Okay, find the server

[Doc] is just floating in the nothing and holding Yaunfen- ummm I think... - they're looking for something that feels like hir lover- that way!...?

- the vanilla cow seems distressed and Steve puts Stevie on its back

[TLOT] I can feel it too Doc... Go that way

[CP] - Consider this training for going out into the real world, because getting back is just as important

[Doc] Oh.... - Is casting about and starts going in a slightly different direction. - I do feel something familiar close by.... over this way...

[CP] Is fighting down his snickers-

[TLOT] Uh.. Doc I'm not sure that's our server.

[CP] Motions for TLOT to shut up-

[Doc] I think you're right, but it is one I know. - reaches out with hir free hand to touch the faint square.

[Doc] Walks forward and emerges into Cp's office. - Ah fuck.

[CP] Bursts out laughing-

[TLOT] Not nice Cp. They did find someplace we've been before, it wasn't a random seed.

[CP] - Oh but it is funny, and hey, at least they didn't find a way out to real world first

[Doc] Looks around for a moment and gets a naughty idea. Xe takes out one of the lollipop flowers and gives it a big lick before sticking it to the seat of Cp's desk chair and pushing it back under the desk.

[CP] - Come on Doc, I'm sure your mate is eager for you to get home

[Doc] Comes back out - Dammit.... Okay, I'm trying... - starts headed off in a different direction.

[TLOT] Just relax and feel around.

[Doc] This is odd... - Xe puts out a hand and touches a different pane. - it feels like... BEN actually...

[CP] - That's because that is Majora's Mask

[Doc] Ech... I don't have good memories associated with that game... Still feels a bit like his energy though.

[CP] - Probably not his copy

[Doc] Makes a suddenly brighter face and points a ways away. - I know there's at least one Pokemon game that direction, I don't know which one though.

[CP] - No

[Doc] I wasn't suggesting we go. Though I'm sure Stevie and your Honedge would enjoy it. - Is moving along at a walking pace.

[Stevie] Is lightly kicking the cow he's on-

[Steve] Be gentle Stevie, I think this cow is a bit freaked out being out here.

[Stevie] - Okay

[Doc] Actually there's a place here you don't know about, I bet. - Trots a bit to one side. - This one is where our friends Richtofen and Takeo came from. I can hear the zombies screaming from here. - It's also a good place for... aquiring unusual equiptment for experiments....

[CP] Growls a little-

[TLOT] That's a shooter isn't it.... Let's not...

[Doc] I wouldn't. The cow would get infected and it would be far too dangerous for Steve and Stevie.

[Stevie] - No zombies, zombies are bad and they bang on doors really loudly...

[Steve] playful- They're also stinky and bad tempered.

[Stevie] - Uh-huh!

[CP] Flicks a hand which forces a stray bit of coding farther away-

[Doc] Gets a devious look and sticks a hand into a rather dusty pane. Xe pulls hir hand back out with a large green leaf and tosses it at Cp. - Hey Cp, think fast!

[CP] Swats it away-

-As he touches it there's a VOOFP noise and suddenly Cp has a pair of raccoon ears on his head and a racoon tail on his rear.

[TLOT] Nearly chokes with laughter

[CP] -Doooooooooc....

[Stevie] Giggles as well-

[Doc] If you wag it you'll fly faster and I bet Stevie will laugh in a very sweetly endearing and childlike way at his funny big brother.

[CP] - How about I ram my sword up your ass instead!

[Doc] Yikes! Okay! I'm going! - Scoots out of reach and starts sniffing around for the feel of the server before heading off in a determined way.

{Stevie] - Let's go moo moo

[Doc] Ohhh. Cp... we should come back to this one just you and me later....

[CP] - What asinine thing are you talking about now?

[Doc] It's Vice City. I could go for some crazy driving, and I think you'd enjoy the flamethrower.

[CP] - I don't need a tool for that

[Doc] Then the plethora of targets would be to your liking at least.

[CP] - Whatever

[TLOT] Puts his ear near a pane. - I hear roaring...

[CP] - That's a Jurassic Park game

[Steve] Swallows - No.. dinosaurs please...

[Doc] Don't worry, I want to go home too.

[CP] - If you can find it

[TLOT] I really don't think we should be out here longer then nessesary. NOTCHs can seed hop too you know.

[CP] - Yeah yeah

[Doc] If holding Yaunfen close with one hand and touching pane after pane with the other. - Good gods there are so many Minecraft seeds...

[CP] - Yup, oh hey, that's one of the ones I used to be on

[TLOT] does that mean your NOTCH wrecked it already?

[CP] - Nope, I did

[Doc] Has caught a scent now and is starting to run.

[CP] - I don't feel like running

[TLOT] Then walk. - Hurries after Doc pulling the cow along with Steve beside him.

[CP] Decides to float along instead, setting the tail and ears on fire to destroy them-

[Doc] Is inputing a complex passcode onto a pane that's much shinier then the ones around it. - I found it!

[CP] - Found what?

[Doc] Opens the wall to show the savannah and an afternoon sky- Home.

- There's a bit of bellowing as the mammoths react to the humans and brines and shuffle farther away.

[Stevie] - What are those!

[TLOT] Leads them inside after Doc - They're mammoths Stevie. Lie took a liking to some on an outing with Doc.

[Doc] I couldn't resist rescuing a few. They're so fuzzy and majestic.

[Stevie] - Look brother!  Home!

[CP] - Yeah yeah

[Doc] I wonder how Aven and BEN are faring? We're near their house.

[aven] -is siting outside with hyrule in her arms-

[CP] - I don't know or care right now

[TLOT] Leads the cow towards Gem's house since they can see it from where they are anyway.

[CP] Groans and follows to keep an eye on Stevie-

[Steve] Runs up ahead of the others - Hey Aven!

[aven] oh hello.

[Steve] Awww, how are you holding up Aven?

[TLOT] I smell something stinky...

[aven] I was going to have gem give hyrule a bath when she got back while I distracted ben because he is over protective.

[Doc] Walks up as well - Hey Aven. Ah, that sounds like a good idea. Look what I have, you're not the only one with a little babe to tend now. Meet Yuanfen.

[Yuanfen] Still gumming on the candy diamond-

[aven] is it made of candy while eating candy?

[Doc] They just look like candy as camoflage I think. But yes, Yaunfen likes candy. Their whole home seed is candy and cake and ice cream. It's heavily modded. The cow came from there too.

[TLOT] The milk is vanilla flavored, want some?

[aven] yes that sounds good.

[Steve] Pulls out the bucket again and fills it for her before passing it.

[TLOT] Um Aven... I could wash Hyrule again if you want, it smells like he needs it.

[Stevie] - What's the tiny thing?

[aven] -takes the bucket in one hand while holding hyrule- I will have to distract ben but sure it would be helpful.

[TLOT] It's a baby Stevie. A tiny person.

[Doc] Where is BEN anyway?

[Stevie] - How did it get here?

[Steve] Aven made him. With some help from BEN.

[aven] he should be inside -takes a sip of the milk- oh this is good.

[Stevie] - So a boy and a girl can make a baby?

[Steve] Yep. That's not the only way you can do it, but I think it's the simpliest.

[Stevie] - So brother could make one with miss Lie?

[TLOT] Takes out some of the lollipop flowers- Looks at this haul Aven, you should have seen it. It was crazy pastel everywhere.

[aven] that seem like a lot of candy.

[Steve] Well... no because Lie gave up one of the parts she needed cause she's not ready to be a mom just yet. But she could if she changed her mind.

[TLOT] Oh yes. Toffee for gold, rock candy diamonds and sticky strawberry lava.

[Stevie] - But I want a little brother so I can play the big brother!

[Steve] Aww. What about Ashe? You're older then he is.

[Stevie] - But he's already bigger than me sometimes

[Steve] Bigger doesn't matter, you're still older. Besides. He could use someone strong to help him out.

[Stevie] - But his momma is really strong!

[Steve] Yeah but she's not a kid and she has to look after Willow and Oak too. It would be a big help.

[Stevie] - Okay

[aven] gem would have a field day with that candy she has a huge sweet tooth

[TLOT] I didn't know that! Hang on, I'll copy some of this and give it to you.

[Doc] Just not the endstone sponge cake. It seems to expand if you leave it anywhere.

[CP] - Stevie, do you wanna head home?  You still have that...  Blanket, fort to work on...

[Stevie] - I wanna keep riding the cow!

[TLOT] Gives Aven a big handful of candies and cake blocks - Here you go. And you should let me take care of Hyrule. Is it better to tell BEN or just be quick about it?

[aven] then lets head inside the main area there is a caldron in the bathroom there.

[Steve] I'll stay out here and watch Stevie and.. Moo Moo?

[Doc] Do you need help TLOT?

[TLOT] Only if BEN attacks me.

[Doc] I'm coming with you.

[BEN] Has barricaded the bathroom door and hung a sign- NO BATHING THE BABY IN WATER!

[aven] -starts to head inside-

[TLOT] Hmm... should we go in the kitchen instead?

[aven] yep.

[BEN] Is in the kitchen eating-

[Doc] Offers Yaunfen hir shoulders - could you crawl up and lay down?

[aven] -hands tlot hyrule-

[Yuanfen] Scrambles up, digging hir claws in a bit-

[Doc] Winces a bit, but hir coat mostly protects hir from the dragons thick claws. - What do you need TLOT?

[BEN] Glares at TLOT- Why do you have Hyrule?

[aven] -goes over to ben- because you need to chill

[TLOT] You know why BEN, he's stinky. I just came over to visit, but it looks like you needed help anyway. -turns to Doc- Just a diaper and some bone meal.

[BEN] Is immediately between TLOT and the water source-  Don't you dare

[aven] -trying is dragging ben away upstairs-

[BEN] - NO!  MY SON WILL NOT DROWN!

[TLOT] Come on BEN, I didn't hurt him last time, what makes you think this would be different?

[aven] I will get one of gem's guardian to carry you upstairs he won't drown I promise.

[Doc] BEN, it does make my hearts happy to see how much you care about him.

[BEN] Is snarling at TLOT-

[TLOT] I'll make it quick. Trust me. - He switches the baby to one hand and puts some water in the cauldron sink before turning up his glitch around his fingers to make it a bit warm.

[aven] -yells- hey vin can you help me carry ben upstairs?

[vin] -comes downstairs and because he is very tall picks up ben-

[BEN] Struggles desperately to get out of Vin's grasp-

[vin] -is strong and carries him upstairs-

[Doc] Sets out some cloth for a diaper and a bone meal blob.

[TLOT] Lays the baby in the bit of water and starts washing him gently.

[BEN] - HYRULE!  DON'T DROWN!

[Doc] Oh hush, you'll make him cry yelling like that.

[hyrule] -starts babbling and bouncing once he sees the water-

[CP] Is snickering at BEN-

[TLOT] Is making silly noises at the baby and playing with his teeny fingers and toes.

[hyrule] -is giggling trying to grab tlots fingers-

[TLOT] makes tiny splashes with his fingers for Hyrule.

[hyrule] -splashes along with tlot-

[BEN] Can be heard yelling upstairs-

[TLOT] Gives the baby a through washing and reaches for the towel Doc is holding to pat him off. - Man you really like a good bath. Somehow two hydrophobics equaled one hydrophilliac.

[Doc] Yeah, he's gonna have an interesting childhood.

[aven] yeah ben is going to be going insane over it and gem will probably teach him to swim.

[BEN] - HYRULE!

[aven] ben chill he is fine.

[BEN] - HE GOT WET!

[aven] wet doesn't equal drown ben.

[BEN] - YES IT DOES!

[aven] unless hyrule breaths though his skin he isn't going to drown by being wet.

[TLOT] Powders Hyrule's butt and ties a clean diaper around him. - There we go! All clean and not even a teeny bit drowned.

[Doc] Unless BEN considers that his last name...

[BEN] - THERE IS SUCH A THING AS DRY DROWNING!

[Doc] Oh is that when your lungs fill with fluid and you choke?

[aven] -is facepalming-

[BEN] - USUALLY AFTER A NEAR DROWNING!

[Doc] Shush, he's fine. Look he's smiling. Ready for his proud parents to coo over him some more

[hyrule] -is giggling-

[BEN] Get's free of Vin and darts downstairs again-

[snake] -kazoo's loudly at ben as he almost stepped on him-

[TLOT] Is holding Hyrule gently

[BEN] - Hyrule!

[Doc] Is scratching Yaunfen's chin lightly.

[TLOT] Here you go- Holds the baby out for BEN to take.

[BEN] Takes Hyrule and floats up by the ceiling holding him protectively-

[Doc] Looks up - So apart from the conniption fit, how are you doing BEN?

[BEN] - Okay I guess...

[TLOT] Losing sleep? I hear babies cry a lot.

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] Freezes-

[aven] well it looks like hyrule's first word is water

[Doc] First word! Awww!

[BEN] - noooooooooooooooo

[TLOT] I guess he really does like getting a bath.

[hyrule] wa-er wa-er

[BEN] - No, how about lightning?- Brings a little of his green electricity into his hand

[Doc] Too many syllables for a first word.

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] Groans-

[BEN] - Aven!  Our child is defective!

[aven] hyrule is fine the only reason he isn't scared is because he never drowned and I would like to keep it that way.

[BEN] - Are you sure we can't trade him in for another?

[aven] -face palms- that's not how that works

[BEN] - Are we sure?

[aven] one hundred percent

[BEN] Whines-

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - No, lightning

[hyrule] wa-er wa-er

[BEN] - Light-ning

[aven] I don't think he is going to say lightning

[BEN] - Shut up

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - No, light-ning

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - Light-ning

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - Light-ning

[hyrule] wa-er wa-er wa-er

['BEN] Groans- I will find a way to remove that word from your vocabulary

[aven] ben let him say it

[BEN] - No way, water is evil and dangerous and why aren't you on my side?  You were killed by it too!

[aven] only my ben half drowned

[BEN] - That's not the point!

[aven] the point is our kid doesn't have hydrophobia like us.

[BEN] - HOW CAN HE NOT HAVE IT!?

[aven] because where you born with hydrophobia I know I wasn't

[BEN] Grumbles a little-

[aven] he was just not born with any fear of water

[BEN] Turns his attention back to Hyrule- Say light-ning

[hyrule] wa-er

[aven] try some thing easyer like mommy or daddy

[BEN] - ANYTHING, but- grimaces- water...

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - No

[hyrule] wa-er

[BEN] - NO!  Light-ning

[hyrule] -starts crying because ben yelled-

[BEN] - Shit!  Aven!

[aven] give hyrule to me

[BEN] Hands Hyrule over before pulling out his ocarina and begins softly playing Zelda's lullabye-

[aven] -starts rocking hyrule in her arms-

[hyrule] -slowly calming down now-

[BEN] Keeps playing-

[hyrule] -falls asleep in aven's arms-

[BEN] Lets the music dwindle away before lowering the instrument-

[aven] -quietly- I think it's time to put hyrule in his crib

[BEN] - Just no more water

[aven] hyrule is already clean

[BEN] - No more water ever...

[aven] if hyrule likes water then sooner or later he is going to want to swim

[BEN] - NOOOOOO!

[aven] shush you will wake hyrule.

[BEN] Whimpers-

[aven] there will be water in hyrule's future but not drowning

[BEN] Growls- No water, ever!

[aven] -is already starting to bring hyrule upstairs- it's not just your decision

[BEN] - Watch me!

[aven] -is already halfway across the hallway upstairs-

[BEN] Grumbles-

[snake] -he is on the edge of the stairs- hyrule needs baths ben.

[BEN] - No he doesn't...  Neither do I...

[snake] you both do -kazoos at him-

[BEN] - Bath's are over-rated!

[snake] even aven knows when to keep her self clean.

[BEN] Growls-

[snake] -kazoos at ben because he growled-

[braindamageforbeginners]

Medication

Well, I can’t put it off any more, I have to write about those familiar, controversial Western medical bugaboos, pain medication and psychiatric meds. There are a helluva lot of issues here, and this is almost entirely an opinion/anecdotal piece, since it’s going to be a commentary about opinion (so, an opinion squared?), and I’ll be doing my usual crazed magpie topic-selection of madly going whatever shiny object/joke/whatever is closest to me. A few items to keep in place: modern pain killers are, in the span our species (the proper one, not the drunken Irish bishop’s estimate), brand-spankin’ new - less than 200-ish years old (for comparison, a former roommate of mine grew up in a house that had been in his family for that long)(before anyone gets any images of  Kennebunkport, it’s worth noting that we’re talking about a former drinking buddy of mine, which is automatic grounds for disqualification of nobility in most places). Psychiatric drugs are much, much, much newer, especially as readily-available to the general public. Ironically, brain surgery - or trepanning, anyway - is almost as old as our species (so, who’s unnatural now?). And people tend to distrust new things - particularly medically new things (a former classmate was one of the first recipients of a live-organ donation, getting a liver at age four; she said a few fringe religious groups had called her parents with death threats over this)(this sort of thing is why I’m not particularly fond of religion, but I digress)(side-note; it kind of proves that we live in a society completely ruled by rich, old men that no one was up in arms when Viagra came out, even though it enables me to permanently shatter your sense of well-being with four words: Grandpa gettin’ it on)(I apologize for that last joke, that one made even me shudder). And technical/scientifically-oriented humans tend to love new toys, and abuse them.

Which is all a way of saying that I think - medically speaking - after getting over the novelty of all these things and overprescribing them for years, then backing off too much and inadvertently causing a drug abuse pandemic (sort of; I’ve read that the driving factor of the opioid crisis is people with chronic pain issues being under-prescribed or wrongly-prescribed meds, and then, in desperation, turning to more effective-albeit-dangerous things, like oxycontin), I think - and I’m just one severely neurologically-screwed-up individual - that most doctors are coming to think about these things the way they do about alcohol - it’s not for everyone, it’s not always appropriate, but in moderation, it’s healthy for most people. Again, throughout my experiences, I have never - at any point - been completely pain-free (if we include psychological pain) - but I have always been functional (sometimes near-super-functional). Credit where it’s due, I think that’s because I’ve had access to a highly competent, resourceful group of medical practitioners - from the receptionists on up - who weren’t afraid to use every single tool available to them.

The key word in that previous paragraph as it pertains to modern attitudes is “functional.” I could go on forever about how people have a weird hang-up about not using technology to enhance themselves” (again, unless it pertains to our genitals)(again, that’s not some vulgar statement, it’s a further reference to things like Viagra and/or plastic surgery)(not that I’m out of that one either, since I have veneers); we’re still obsessed with Greek games that are “natural.” Meanwhile, the World’s Strongest Man Competition is closer than ever to giving us the Hulk in real-life. Side-note, in case I haven’t mentioned it before; even if you’re completely disinterested in sports, I recommend checking out the World’s Strongest Man. Whilst other sports are obsessed with who can walk faster or swim longer, WSM is more concerned with lifting small cars (this is true) and hauling commercial aircraft. Not that discus throwing doesn’t have a place in modern society (it doesn’t), but if I’m taking bets on who would win in any event other than swimming, a Fiat or Lance Armstrong, I’m sure the Fiat wins. Whereas a Fiat vs Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson in any non-speed related event is a much, much harder call. My point being, we should have a regular, classic Olympics, and an Olympics we’d actually watch in which the only rules are “no killing the competitors, and no horse steroids.” Not because one is clearly more entertaining (although i will admit that’s a strong contender), but because there would be loads of assorted technology and stuff that they’d develop for it. We’d have bionic limbs (I mean, we’re getting there, but not soon enough), replacement clone organs, and better-than-new cartilage alternatives last week if Budweiser invested the sort of sports-sized sponsorship money into related biomedical research (admittedly in rather unorthodox way), and that could help sick people. Or help handicapped people. Or turn handicapped people into the Hulk. I mean, the technology that helped piece my brain back together (neuro/biofeedback) is amazingly more advanced today than it was just 15 years ago (we’ll come back to that shortly).

I mean, where was I? Oh, yes, we’ve always had a weird relationship between enhancement technology and society (better-explored in Carl Elliott’s book, “Better Than Well,”)(Kareem, you need to check this guy out, he got an MD, then got bored/annoyed and got a PhD in philosophy), and being able to enhance your neurological state kind of falls in there, in the sense that a fair number of psych drugs will take you past “normal” and into what Elliot described (based on patient interviews) as “better than well.” Again, based on a few EEGs my brain was functioning better after post-neurosurgery #2 bio/neurofeedback than it was when I went in (this is true), so I’m all for transhumanism. I bring this up because, again, in this broader viewpoint, psychiatric drugs and/or pain killers are part of the discussion,

The greater idea here is that I’m not feeling all the pain I could be from this experience. Well, no. I’m not. And there’s a significant fraction of the populace that has some sort of philosophical problem with that (I have not encountered them personally, but my step-mother does enjoy arguing for the sake of argument/entertainment, and the topics she goes for tend to serve as a sort of general opinion-poll for some of these issues). As she (sort of, maybe, it’s hard to tell) and Master Chief Urgayle would point out, pain is a good motivator. And I wholeheartedly agree. I would not be pestering physicians, social workers, pharmacists, etc. half as much or as effectively as if I were feeling okay. At the same time, there is a point - and this is not a wavy, thin line, this is something everyone will recognize if you ever see it - where pain not only becomes useless, it starts being a direct impediment to survival. After Neurosurgery #1, I blacked out several times from several assorted pain stimuli. In a completely natural scenario, that’s when the saber-toothed cats would’ve overtaken me, and, well, pain is even less helpful when you’re inside something with better teeth than you. Similarly, yeah, I’m not as upset by this whole experience as I could be, because I’m on some very powerful, exotic psych drugs (again, though, this is under direct medical supervision). And that’s essential to my survival; because, if I was doing this completely sober, my only reaction would non-stop vomiting, weeping, and staring out into space, followed by death because I’d forgotten to renew some critical prescription or procedure. So, if you do have friends or family who are chronically depressed (or even just post-partum depressed) and/or anxious and take meds for it, please just treat it as if they have diabetes and are getting and insulin shot. Modern medicine is essentially doing the same thing in both cases - supplementing/controlling a biochemical problem using chemistry.

Speaking of weeping and vomiting, I got a call back from Mad Scientist, who agrees with Senior Warlock in that the latest blip on the MRI is most-likely some sort of treatment side-effect/damage and not a recurrence or metastasis; and, at the same time, given both my history and placement in a clinical trial, very rapid follow-up MRIs were just a reasonably prudent precaution (she mentioned - Great Kraken bless that woman - that she’d be okay, if I weren’t in a trial, sticking with the original two-month schedule; but commended Senior Warlock’s hyper-vigilance on the matter). Which brings up another important reminder to both future-me and future-radiation patients, the list of potential radiation side-effects is lengthy and horrifying and can happen - including showing up on MRIs in weird places - any time post-Hiroshima. Like, I could make it to that 5%, five-year remission, and die at age 90 from necrosis related to radiation (unless I get my wish, and that side-effect guarantees me a slot in BalCo’s Gojira Clinical Trial for the next Olympics)(I’d probably sign up for that one right now even if I was completely healthy, if I’m being honest). Which doesn’t put me out of the woods for this latest little blip, but it will let me sleep slightly easier, which is probably a medical necessity at the moment, given that my current sleep debt is approaching four-digit numbers.