#apologies for the yelling but I’m ecstatic right now you don’t understand how happy I am

[emily-mooon]

I need to know the exact date and time wave three of the ST funko pops come out so I know when I can purchase Jonathan and Nancy and be sure to get them so they don’t get sold out by the serious collectors who are not going to take them down into their basement outside of the box to listen to a joy division and a cure vinyl and pretend that they are going out for a date.

[redrobin-detective]

I am going to regret asking this and giving you another chance to drag me in this fandom... but what's the problem with Danny's parents? Is there something else than the fact they really really want to dissect a ghost?

For me, the issues with the Fenton parents boils down to two main issues: 1. their complete and dangerous obsession with ghosts and destroying them and 2. the negligence to their children. I think Jack and Maddie are good people who love their children and can be good parents. But the problem is their ghost hunting work was always the priority in the family which Jazz and Danny clearly suffer from.

Point 1. The Ghost Obsession

I don’t know what happened to Jack and Maddie that caused them to develop an all consuming obsession with ghosts and, moreover, the need to destroy them. Fandom has pointed out that while they claim to be scientists, they clearly are more interested in weapons to hurt and destroy ghosts than anything even resembling normal scientific study. Amity Park has a high number of violent ghosts (mostly there to play fight Danny) but most ghosts everywhere else are just vibing. The ghost obsession hurt Danny long before he became part ghost (but I’ll save that for Point Two) but it went from an annoyance to an actual threat to his life.

First off, as many others have pointed out, having a dangerous lab in the basement with untested equipment/weaponry that your kids not only have ready access to BUT also have to go down there for assigned chores? Not great, Jan. I’ll give the Fentons the benefit of the doubt, we see clearly that Danny/Jazz know how to work the equipment in their house so they obviously have been drilled in usage and safety. Danny gets his ghost powers by being dumb and 14 and messing around with his friends like any normal kid would. Danny is now the very thing his parents want to hunt and destroy and a mainstay of the series is he is so scared of their reaction that he hides his powers/identity from his parents but not his ghostly enemies. Can you imagine being that uncertain that your parents love for you outweighs their obsession that you hide such a fundamental part of your life? What a miserable reality for a young kid.

Jack and Maddie spend the entire series going off about their hatred of ghosts. Danny has to sit there and listen to them talk in extreme detail how they’ll dissect and obliterate any ghost they come across. They’ll be making deadly weaponry made to kill beings like him at the kitchen table, weapons that do respond to his ghostly signature. They especially hate Danny’s alter ego, Phantom, because of his supposed trickery by pretending to be a hero. The canon things said in the show would certainly make me nervous about sleeping in the room next to them. They are capable of working with Phantom when push comes to shove but it never lasts long and they go back with guns blazing. Danny and the show mostly play these threats off for laughs but the fact that Danny straight up doesn’t tell them is telling enough on how it effects him. 

Point 2. The Negligence

‘Hur Dur parents are bad’ is a well known cartoon trope but the Fentons take it to an extreme. Jack and Maddie are obsessive with their work, absentminded and reckless, none of which create a safe and stable home for children. I love Jazz and Danny but they clearly are not entirely normal children (even before the whole ghost thing) from growing up in such a home. Jazz develops a reactionary personality, delving into psychology and being right as a way to kind of understand/get back at her parents (source? I do this exact thing with my mom) and Danny was quiet, overlooked and not given the attention to really flourish, instead being a sort of ghost in that house before he ever became one. 

Jack and Maddie 110% love their kids but do they encourage them in a meaningful way? Support their interests? Be available to help? Not really. I hate The Fright Before Christmas bc Danny gets blamed for being a “scrooge” instead of acknowledging he hates the holiday for his parents destructive fighting every year. (source? Again fucking me. I hate Xmas bc mom and I scream every year)

This issue only exacerbates once Danny gets ghost powers. His whole life is affected by his ghost fighting: he’s getting injured in fights from human bullies and ghosts, his grades are dropping from lack of studying/sleep, he’s absent from the house more often than not, he’s sullen and depressed and scared and anxious all the time. It’s a radical change and yet Jack and Maddie kind of brush over it, focusing instead how Danny’s changes affect them (IE Danny not being around to do his chores). This boy comes home, beaten from fights, stressed and feeling alone only to get yelled at because his parents miss all the signs he’s practically radiating that he is Not Okay. He eventually becomes a good enough fighter and actor to skip over but it’s truly heartbreaking that he can’t confide in the people supposed to support him the most. But it’s not just the ghost obsession, even without all the powers like if Danny was doing drugs or in a gang, his parents barely notice and, when they do, they don’t really do anything other than blame him. 

Now I’m going to end this long rant by saying that I love Jack and Maddie, I think they are fascinating people and want to see them developed. The situation as it is for most of the series is not okay in the least but I do believe they have the potential to be good, supportive parents. There’s a couple of eps where they DO find out about danny’s powers and instantly all the negligence and hostility is gone, its all acceptance of his powers and apologies for their behavior. Its not a perfect situation and could be borderline abuse apologism if done wrong. But I’d like to think that once they got over the shock and did some serious priority and soul searching, they would learn to correct themselves. Growth isn’t just saved for the teen protagonists, everyone has the chance to be better. Danny clearly doesn’t hold his parents behavior against them and would be nothing but ecstatic if they loved and accepted him. I do believe in a happy, functional if abnormal, Fenton family dynamic and I’m all for it.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[dasdast]

will you be my boyfriend george henry davidson?

georgenotfound x male reader

oneshot

fluff!

who wouldve know how flirty jokes would be more than just jokes in a matter of time, not george!

(name) and George are both very oblivious that they crushed on each other. George was shy, not know for confrontation while (name) liked meeting new people. One of the qualities of being (name) is that he was smooth. He’d throw in a few flirty “jokes” at the Brit, but in the end they’d both laugh it off, leaving (name) a bit disappointed if it didn’t get at least one reaction from George. On the other hand, George although being known for being secluded, knew how to keep his emotions intact from ever breaking. He would scream himself internally every time (name) would make a flirty joke regarding him, laughing it off, but just like (name), feeling disappointed that those flirty jokes were nothing more than just jokes.

Just jokes?

(name) and George were both at the rocky beaches of Brighton. The sun was just about to set, perfect weather for a proposal, and much much more. (name) had invited George out because he’d needed a break from studying and taking his final exams. Very stressful for a senior college student. (name) would always bring up how lucky George was on that he had one more year till he needed to do all these stressful preparations, George was a 3rd year, junior in college.

“Ay George?” (name) wanted to pull another one of his flirty tricks again.

“Yes?” George turned.

“Let’s go swimming, right now.” (name) smirked.

“No- No way. It’s cold and we don’t have a change of clothes.”

“Aw c’mon! It’ll be fun!”

“No.”

(name) sighed. He acted fast and felt the hands of his crush repeatedly beating his back, telling him to put him down. He ran across the rocky floors and in the process loosened up his and his friend’s shoes and even socks, getting ready to jump into the beach in his euphoric state.

“Ready?!” (name) exclaimed.

“Wait no (name)!-“

Before George could say anything else, he felt his body and head submerged into water. He clung onto (name), due to the fact he didn’t know how to swim, that also being one of the reasons he didn’t want to swim.

(name) also held onto George tight and swam further into the water. (name) was getting cold, but his state made him completely forget that feeling, radiating heat off of him.

“Woo!” (name) laughed and splashed.

He continued laughing, but stopped when he didn’t hear George reply back. Their positions only slightly changed. Instead of George being on the shoulders of (name), he was now at his front, holding him and his clothing tightly and his head laying on his shoulders instead. (name) still having one arm onto the Brit felt the shivers going down his spine. Not shivers of coldness, but shivers of fear. That’s when (name) realized what was going on, George had a fear of deep bodies of water.

“Hey man I-I had no idea y-you were actually..” (name) stuttered, now feeling the effects of the cold.

George didn’t reply, just kept on holding tight.

“I-I’m sorry George..” (name) replied.

He took his other hand and fully supported the Brit’s body, heading back onto the shore of rocks. George was able to stand properly. (name) pulled him to a part of the rocks, water dripping down their clothes and just sat.

(name) took of his top, squeezing it out of a water and layer it flat next to him. (name) hoped George would do the same to avoid any cases of hypothermia, but all he saw was the boy knees up and head on the sockets, shivering as well. (name) didn’t want to violate him, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to move because of the shock.

(name) scooter over, reaching for the ends of his friend’s shirt and quickly pulling it up.

“W-What the fuck are you-“ George exclaimed, trying to stop whatever was happening.

“You’re cold, you’re just gonna get colder with a wet shirt on you know.”

George scoffed at him, letting his arms be pulled up, remaining shirtless.

(name) squeezed the water out of George’s shirt, the same movements he did for his, and layed it flat right next to the shivering boy.

“Look.. I’m sorry.. You said to put you down and I didn’t and I just forcefully dragged you in the water without thinking if you had any bad memories with it..”

George didn’t reply, just continued staring at the sea, and the sun coming down the shore.

The mood was terrible.

“Hey, you know you’re pretty cute shirtless right?” (name) trying to see if a flirty comment would brighten him up.

George continued staring at the beach, unfazed.

He was still shivering.

(name) got up, walked behind him, sat down, and embraced him.

“W-What the fuck-“

“You’re cold.” (name) replied, still holding tight while George tried pushing his arms away.

“Fuck off leave me alone-“

“No.”

“MOVE!” George exclaimed.

They were silent, only hearing the crowd fly and the water moving.

“I’m-“ Before (name) could say anything, George stood up.

“Just stop, stop. Stop apologizing, stop getting close to me, j-just.. just stop!”

George started walking away, but (name) held one of his arms before he could fully walk away.

“Let go!”

“I-I don’t understand.. where is this-“ (name) was a bit shaken at the events that just happened, but was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Coming from? Where is this coming from were you gonna ask?!”

“I’m so tired of your bullshit (name).”

Man oh man was (name) about to tear up.

“You’re so fucking annoying, you’re so fucking.. ugh let go!”

George forced his arm out of (name)’s grasp, walking away again but being stopped because of his other arm being held onto.

“Wait please-“

“Get away from me!”

“Wait please.. please don’t go..” (name) as George tried pulling away from his grasp.

“W-What did I do wrong..?” Feeling tear spike his right eye.

George saw this.

“You..” George looked to his side, stopped his tries at trying to pull away from you.

“You keep pushing me, just keep on pushing me.. You always say these jokes, these jokes that I wish were real, these jokes that I wish didn’t make me feel things for you..! It hurts.. And you keep on playing with me every single time, every single thing you say about me starts to hurt, a lot..”

(name) let go.

“And it hurts because.. I know it isn’t true. In my mind I keep wishing for it to be.. For you to actually having feelings for me, for you to actually think my hair looks cute when it’s messy, thinking that baggy clothes make me look adorable, thinking I’m actually attractive, thinking that.. I’m attractive.. to you...”

The stayed silent.

“I.. I-I should go..” George said.

He went back to where you both sat, picking up his damp shirt, and heading over to where you had tossed his socks and shoes.

Before he could put on his socks, he felt someone against his back.

(name) had embraced him.

“I love you.”

George’s body frozen from the words that he had just heard.

“I fucking love you.”

George started to get mad again.

“Shut the fuck up!-“

(name) let go of his embrace.

“I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU GEORGE HENRY DAVIDSON!” (name) you yelled out just loud enough for people to start looking.

“(name) what are you!-“

“I LOVE THE WAY YOUR HAIR LOOKS WHEN ITS MESSED UP, I LOVE HOW ADORABLE YOU LOOK IN BAGGY CLOTHES, I LOVE HOW EVERYTIME YOU TAKE OFF YOUR HEADPHONES THEY LEAVE A SMALL MARK ON YOUR EARS, I LOVE HOW YOU ALWAYS LOOK AWAY WHEN I TELL YOU YOU’RE CUTE! I LOVE YOU AND EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO!”

(name) took one last deep breath.

“GEORGE HENRY DAVIDSON! WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND!”

You heard people gasping and cameras recording you, but you didn’t care, you were saying all this to prove to George that this isn’t just some cruel joke, this is your true feelings.

On the other side, George was stunned. He felt every single part of his body about to pop off and fly all over the whole world. He felt like a microwave when you accidentally forgot that you left tin foil inside when turning it on and it explodes.

“Say yes!” You both heard a random person say.

You took deep breaths as you waited for George’s answer.

George walked up to you, dropped the two socks he was holding in his two hands, and held you close.

“Yes I will be your boyfriend, will you shut up now?” He whispered to your ear.

You felt ecstatic, happy, no more than happy, overjoyed. You were the luckiest person alive right now.

You picked up George and swung him around, not minding the small rocks under you slightly puncturing your foot.

“HES MY BOYFRIEND NOW EVERYONE!! HE SAID YES!!” You exclaimed gleefully as you held George tight, still spinning.

You giggled left and right while hearing the protests from George to let him down. People clapped at you both.

You stopped after feeling a bit dizzy.

“George.”

“(name).”

“Would you mind me trying something?” You smirked.

George knew what was about to happen. He closed his eyes, ready for you.

You tilted him down a bit, bending down a bit, and kissed him.

You let go after a quick minute of holding that touch and stood him straight.

“God I must be the luckiest person in the whole entire galaxy to be dating George Henry Davidson.” You smiled as you embraced him once again.

“Oh will you shut up already..”

George wasn’t gonna let anyone know, especially not you, but he really didn’t want you to shut up.

George would disagree at your statement, because right now, HE was the luckiest person in the whole entire galaxy to have you by his side.

[peachyteez]

angel nurse ≫ DAY FOUR, HEHETMON

this fox hybrid was brought into the recovery facility covered in scratches, whip marks, blood, and every other injury you could imagine. due to this, yeosang has trouble trusting humans, as he was afraid they could just hurt him all over again. until he meets jiyu, his “angel nurse”.

PART OF THE HEAVEN SERIES.

✧ taglist: @defsoul15​, @jaeminpeachy​, @joongiebug, @sunsethw4​, @t-tbinnie​, @chanyeolol​, @danibookmarks​, @hello-its-ya-boi​, @murralyn​, @alienmashup​, @panini​, @moon8894​, @koasworld​, @taetae123094​, @luv3rxcha​, @treasure-hwa​, @etherealbyeol​, @hwaseongzzz​, @lovely-sanie​, @orbitiiny​, @pirate-of-the-dark-seas​, @babydolljo​, @ms-starlight​, @everrrlasting​, @bls-luv-me​, @atzgiggle​, @arohabyeol​, @rainbowmagicpixecorn​, @soverystupid​, @ayetothezee​, @kingalls00​, @sanstreasure0305​, @sparklingmallow​​, @peachseok

✧ notes: i’m missing the boys extra today and i don’t know why :(

back。| next。

“ji, we’ve been standing here for ten minutes now. are you sure you’re going in?” yeonjun whispered, not wanting to alarm the fox hybrid on the other side of the door.

“shh! give me a minute, jun!” she whisper-shouted back. 

“it’s been ten!”

“well give me another one!”

yeonjun sighed. “it’s not like you to be so nervous about visiting a patient,” he pointed out. 

“i know...it’s just...i know how he feels since i can relate to his situation to some extent,” she meekly admitted. “a lot of people left me alone for a while after i left home so i guess i did the same towards him.”

with an understanding and gentle smile, yeonjun reassuringly gave her a pat on the shoulder. “then don’t let him wallow in his own thoughts alone, otherwise it’ll be much harder for you to pull him out,” he advised before walking off and waving at her over his shoulder. “good luck, i’ll go check on taehyun.”

waving after him, she took a deep breath and looked at the door once more. “let’s go,” she mumbled to herself encouragingly before entering the code to the keypad.

the door slid open to reveal the fox hybrid on sitting on his bed. in front of him was a foldable table, some paper, and...pencils and colored pencils? is he drawing?

yeosang’s eyes widened when he spotted jiyu at the door and his ears started to twitch. unable to keep eye contact with her, he glanced away and at the wall next to her instead. the cream-colored wall looked very interesting to him at the moment.

“um...hello! i’m here for your checkup,” jiyu said with a small smile, holding up her folder with his papers in them. “is that okay?”

silence. 

while it seemed as if yeosang was uncomfortable on the outside, his mind was yelling at him to at least respond. yeosang, please, you literally spent most of last night promising and hyping yourself up to make an attempt to interact with her.

jiyu felt her smile slightly faltering at the awkward atmosphere. “o-or i can go ask seojin—”

“...it’s fine,” yeosang said, practically whispering. “y-you can do whatever you n-need.”

“are you sure?” she asked, sensing his hesitation. 

yeosang nodded before putting the pencils and colored pencils away and neatly folding the table. although he was trying his best, he still couldn’t look at her in the eyes. but jiyu was still ecstatic at his baby steps. progress was progress, and it was the thought that counted the most.

“okay, i’m going to put this part,” she gestured to the round, metal part of the stethoscope, “to your chest. it’ll let me hear your heartbeat.”

seeing his tense expression, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of deja-vu hit her. it’s like when i did this with seonghwa. she realized. she couldn't help but quietly giggle at the similarities between the two. 

yeosang slightly tilted his head at her giggle, yet said nothing about it. “g-go ahead,” he gave her the okay.

feeling the cold metal touch his chest, he slightly flinched before relaxing. he had to constantly remind himself that she wasn't going to hurt him. whether he fully trusted seojin when he told him that, he wasn't sure, but he still found the smallest bit of solace in those words. 

“okay, your heart seems to be beating normally,” jiyu mumbled, deciding to not mention how fast his heart was racing. “now, temperature...” she said, taking out a thermometer. 

yeosang’s eyes widened at the thermometer. it reminded him too much of the scanner that the breeding facility used to scan their collars every morning and night. 

“are you okay?” jiyu asked, seeing his scared gaze at the thermometer. “i promise, this is only to take your temperature. look.” putting the thermometer up to her own forehead, she pressed the button and a beep sounded, indicating that it took her temperature. she showed yeosang the numbers on the small screen. “see? it’s nothing harmful.”

yeosang said nothing, but his body visibly relaxed. taking it as a good sign, she gently brushed the front pieces of his blonde hair away before taking his temperature. and just like she said, nothing bad happened. 

after a few more steps to the checkup (and some reassuring that the blood pressure machine wouldn't cut off his blood circulation even though it was extremely tight), jiyu happily smiled. “you did good today, yeosang. i really appreciate you allowing me to conduct a checkup,” she said. 

noticing some papers on the table underneath his documents, jiyu curiously glanced at them and aw’ed at the small, cute drawing. she figured it must’ve been yeosang’s. “this is so adorable,” she squealed. on the paper was a small, cartoon-like character that was holding a flower, and had the most adorable smile.

yeosang’s fox ears stuck to the side of his head while his human ones turned red out of embarrassment. he had forgotten he’d left his drawings there. 

“oh! my apologies, i didn't mean to snoop,” she sheepishly said, setting the paper back down. “but i really meant it when i said it was adorable.”

“...hehetmon,” yeosang whispered, his ears still burning. 

jiyu tilted her head in confusion. “pardon?”

“it’s name. i named him hehetmon...” he said again, trailing off towards the end. he felt weird since it was out of character for him to be conversing with a human. 

nervously glancing up at jiyu, he was surprised to see the look of adoration and awe in her eyes. if they had been in a cartoon, her eyes would’ve been sparkling. 

“wait, that's literally so adorable,” she said, looking down at the drawing once again. it portrayed the inner child in yeosang, it showed her how maybe there was a glimmer of light still left in him despite the mental scars. 

“you know,” jiyu mindlessly said, her eyes never leaving the drawing. “i kind of know how you feel, being abandoned and all that...”

yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed at her words. impossible. there’s no way that a human could even understand an ounce of what—

“you’re probably thinking that there’s no way a human could understand, right?” she wryly smiled at his shocked expression. “you’re right, though. i may not understand completely, but i still know what it feels like to be left behind and used.”

in his eyes, i’m just a tool for his and the company’s benefits.

snapping out of her trance-like state, she gently smiled at yeosang. “i’m sorry, i rambled quite a bit. but i hope that no matter what life throws at you, no matter how many curveballs the universe throws at you, that you keep yourself grounded. even if it means drawing thousands and thousands of your hehetmons,” she said before making her way towards the door. 

“um...”

turning around, jiyu’s eyes practically bulged out of her head when she saw yeosang standing behind her and offering her one of the hehetmons he drew. embarrassed, yeosang looked away as his cheeks and ears burned pink. “m-maybe it’ll make you happy, too—” he tried justifying.

a small grin spread on jiyu’s face as she accepted his drawing, feeling so many emotions swell in her chest. heck, she could've cried, as it was the sweetest gesture she’s received from him. “thank you, i’ll treasure it.” 

from her tone, yeosang could sense how the genuinely meant it, and how much she appreciated it. it gave him a sense of comfort that maybe there really was someone that not only appreciated hehetmon, but also his existence.

she tucked the drawing safely away in the folder as she left, saying goodbye to yeosang. 

“oh, jiyu!” seojin caught up with her in the hall. “i see you managed to visit yeosang,” he smiled. “how was it?”

“he...seemed to open up a lot more today,” she smiled. “and i came to realize that there just might be a little spark of light in him left. despite everything he went through.”

catching a glimpse of a drawing in the folder, seojin chuckled. “trust me, i think the sparks of light will grow brighter soon,” he mumbled.

“did you say something?” 

“huh? nope, nothing at all!” he boyishly smiled, his fangs peeking through.

she playfully scoffed, jostling him with her shoulder, although he didn’t even budge. “i’ll pretend you didn’t say anything, then.”

“how rude, miss.”

and she really did treasure the drawing yeosang gave her.

that night, after dinner, mingi spotted a new drawing on the fridge door. he knew none of them had done it, considering how horrible they were at art (minus hongjoong, but mingi knew it wasn’t something he would draw). “who drew this?” he asked jiyu who had entered the kitchen again after running taking a shower. 

“seonghwa’s twin!” she chirped, laughing when seonghwa whined out of confusion from the couch as he played animal crossing.

twisting around away from the tv screen, he pouted. “i swear i’m an only child!”

[vs-redemption]

Could I request a F!Reader x William from Black Clover? Either HC or oneshot, up to you! So, William is ready to propose to his gf. He brings the engagement ring with him everywhere just in case that perfect moment comes up. He almost drops it during a random battle & reader is there. She sees him trying to grab a pouch & he almost gets hit by the enemy, but manages to protect him. She yells at him & tells him what so important with the pouch & either he tells her now or later why plz and tnx!

Thanks for the request! It’s been a while since I’ve written for William, so hopefully I was able to capture him and your idea properly ♥

The Perfect Proposal (William Vangeance x Reader)

William stared down at the tiny ring clutched firmly between his thumb and pointer finger, a mixture of frustration and impatience swirling in the reflection of his lavender eyes. Retrieving the ring from its hiding place and tucking it into the small leather pouch on his belt was basically part of his morning routine by now. He was a little embarrassed about how long he’d been carrying such a precious piece of jewelry around, but he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t have it on hand when the perfect moment to propose presented itself.

You’d been a part of William’s life for a long time now, starting off as friends and growing closer until neither of you could deny your feelings for each other any longer. Having your unconditional love and support was something he cherished and felt thankful for each and every day. Not a day passed when you didn’t bring a smile to his face, and he had never been more certain of anything as he was of the fact that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Going out and buying a ring was one of the biggest, yet easiest decisions he’d ever made. It was finding the right time to ask you that he was struggling with. You meant everything to him and he thought you deserved nothing less than a perfect, romantic proposal from him.

“Captain Vangeance! Are you in there?” The question comes after a harsh knock on the door and William quickly tucks the ring away before grabbing his mask and greeting the magic knight who had come to fetch him.

“Yes, I’m here,” he frowns at the distressed look on the man’s face, “Is everything all right?”

“There’s been an incident at the capital’s west gate,” the explanation comes out rushed. “The Golden Dawn has been requested to send back up to the knights already fighting there.”

“Understood, tell them we’re on our way,” William was on high alert now and quickly assembled a team of his best knights to go check out the threat with him.

Upon arrival on the scene, William was not surprised to find you already caught up in the fray. Your squad was based close to the capital as well, and you never hesitated to jump in and help in any kind of situation where you thought you might be useful. You spotted him just a moment later and waved him over.

“What’s the situation?” He asks you, getting straight to business.

“Bandits,” was your simple answer. “They actually would’ve managed to sneak into the city undetected if someone hadn’t tipped us off a few hours ago about a suspicious group passing through their village. We had no idea just how many of them there were until the last minute though.”

William simply nods in understanding. There’d be more time to discuss other details later, but for now he needed to help round up the criminals so that they could face punishment for their actions. Most of the bandits were easily dealt with, but a couple of them actually had decent magic abilities. While dueling with the leader of the group, William become a bit too focused and failed to dodge a stray spell that whizzed past his side, sending the leather pouch on his hip flying off somewhere. Panic grips him once he realizes what had happened. He continues his battle while keeping an eye on the fallen pouch until another bandit suddenly sees it on the ground and makes a grab for it.

“Stop! Don’t touch that!” William tears his eyes away from the leader he’d been fighting and dives toward the bandit going after the pouch.

While dueling your own opponent, you catch sight of William recklessly going after something on the ground from the corner of your eye. It baffled you that someone as level headed as William would turn his back in a fight like that. There couldn’t possibly be anything important enough for him to risk his life over. The bandit leader was definitely going to take advantage of William’s lapse in judgement, so you throw yourself between them and quickly throw up a defensive spell just in time to block the attack aimed right for him.

“Thank you,” William sounded embarrassed once he’d apprehended the bandit and got his pouch tied securely back onto his hip. He avoids your bewildered stare and jumps back into the fight with the group’s leader as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever transpired. You shake your head and decide to let it go for now while rounding up the last few bandits. It wasn’t long before the ordeal was over, and you assist the other magic knights in loading up everyone that was captured before heading to meet the wizard king with William to report everything that had happened.

William knew better than to think you wouldn’t ask about his strange behavior, but he couldn’t for the life of him think of any way to logically explain what he’d done. Even the truth seemed rather ridiculous to him now that he looked back on it. At the time though, his emotions had taken control and all rational thought had left him.

“So, are you going to tell me what that’s about?” you ask after following him back to his office at the Golden Dawn. You gesture towards the pouch on his hip even though you knew that he understood what you were referencing. He lets out a sigh, taking of his mask and setting it to the side so that he can face you directly. He surprises even himself when he reaches down and takes out the ring, holding it out for you.

“William…” You blink back the tidal wave of emotions that wash over you. It takes just a split second for the shock to wear off, making room for both a giddy happiness and deep frustration. Thankfully, he wasn’t using the ring as a way to distract you from the earlier incident, just to provide an explanation for it.

“I apologize for earlier. It was silly of me to act so rash,” he holds your gaze, sincerity in his eyes. “It wasn’t so much the ring itself I was thinking of in that moment, but of what it meant to me. I’ve been carrying this with me for so long, hoping for the perfect opportunity, but perhaps I was overthinking it.” He pauses to take your hand gently into his while getting down on one knee. “I realize now that your answer means far more to me than the place and timing of the question. I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you.” His lips pull into a soft, yet vulnerable smile.

“Ideally, the rest of your life will be a long time William,” You say despite the racing of your heart. “Promise me you won’t pull any more unnecessary stunts like you did today.”

“I promise.” He nods his head before swallowing back his nerves. “So, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you agree before the question had hardly escaped his lips. Happy tears prickle the corners of your eyes as he slides the ring onto your finger, and you waste no time in yanking him to his feet afterwards so you can pull him in for a sweet kiss. You understood and appreciated his need to make things perfect for you, but as long as it was him asking the question there wasn’t anything else you could wish for. As for William, he was ecstatic to finally have the ring out of his hands and onto yours. From now on, his routine of carrying the ring around with him would be replaced with admiring the sight of it on your finger, and knowing that you’d be by his side for the remainder of his days.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Ateez: Another Member Doesn't Like You

Kim Hongjoong:

Hongjoong couldn't understand why his best friend didn't seem to take a liking to you. He thought Seonghwa was just shy and that's why he avoided you. But every time he said you were coming over, Seonghwa would only roll his eyes or let out an angry huff. Hongjoong preferred not to tell you, he didn't want to make you upset. And he didn't know how to talk to Seonghwa about it.

But you weren't stupid. You noticed the glares Seonghwa would often direct at you. You decided to do something about it. Every time you came over, you made sure to clean up all the mess the boys made, not wanting to stress Seonghwa out more than he was. If dishes needed to be done, you offered to do them, making sure to arrange them the way Seonghwa liked, not messing up the system he had. He did notice your efforts and he felt like an ass for being rude to you.

"I'm sorry for not being very welcoming to you at first Y/N. Truthfully I was just cautious of you, I'm just overprotective of my friends, but that's not an excuse for my behavior. Thank you for all you've done for us, for Hongjoong. You make him really happy."

Hongjoong overheard your conversation when you two were cleaning the kitchen one night and he felt very happy to know you two made peace. He felt lucky to have someone as understanding and patient like you. He ended up talking about it with you when you were alone.

"I'm sorry I never said anything to Seonghwa, I should have told him to stop since the beginning. But thank you for not getting angry with him or losing your temper. And it means a lot to me that you are getting along now."

Park Seonghwa:

"Seonghwa, I think Hongjoong doesn't like me." You told him one day.

"Awww come on. I'm sure it's not like that. He's just been stressed out recently, it's nothing." Your boyfriend tried to assure you.

But the more he paid attention, the more he realized there might be some truth to your words.

"Going out with Y/N again?" Hongjoong asked him one day he saw Seonghwa was getting ready.

"Yeah, we're going on a date." Seonghwa told him.

Hongjoong scoffed. "Whatever. Just make sure to pick up some milk on your way back. It's almost out."

Seonghwa noticed the tone in Hongjoong's voice and didn't like it one bit. Putting down his brush, he turned to his friend and crossed his arms.

"Ok, what the hell is your problem?" Seonghwa finally asked him.

Hongjoong only shrugged at him. "It's whatever, just go on your fucking date and get it over with."

Seonghwa walked up to Hongjoong and made him face him. Soon it was nothing but yelling between them two, Seonghwa accusing him of hating you for no reason.

"It's not your fucking girlfriend/boyfriend ok?! It's how much time you spend with them! I get it, you're not in charge of producing music for the group, I am, and I get you don't get to see Y/N that much and every second with them is precious to you, but I already have a lot of stress on my shoulders and I used to always count on you to help me take care of the others, but now I have to do that as well cause you barely have time anymore and it's too much for me."

Seonghwa felt bad for his friend, he finally understood that Hongjoong was just stressed and pressured too much.

"I'm sorry Hongjoong. Truly I am. I didn't know you felt that way. I promise I'll try to find a way to make things easier for you. But you shouldn't have taken it out on Y/N, they're not at fault here."

Hongjoong nodded. "Yeah I know. I'm sorry. I'll apologize to them when they come over."

Seonghwa smiled and put his arm around Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Why don't you come along with us? You look like you need a break."

Jeong Yunho:

Yunho remembers the day you met his group members. He also remembers the faces you and Mingi made when you saw each other.

"You?!" You both exclaimed at each other.

As it turned out, Mingi and you had a past of being enemies when you two were in school. Always trying to one up each other and making the other's life miserable, you both ended up in detention together several times for all the antics you pulled.

"Baby come on. I promise Mingi isn't the cocky, annoying jock you knew."

"Mingi, I promise Y/N isn't the stuck up, bratty goody two shoes teacher's pet you knew."

That's what he would constantly tell the two of you and often tried to make you two get along, always failing and resulting in you two arguing over the tiniest of things. Yunho always felt sad when it happened. He just wanted the two people closest to him to get along. He often tried to play off your banters with humor, but you both noticed the sad tone in his voice.

So one day, you called Mingi over, deciding to put an end to it.

"Look, we both messed up and we're being immature. We're adults now and our actions are only hurting Yunho and he doesn't deserve that. So ..... even though it'll be hard, can we try to have a civil relationship between us so he doesn't feel bad?"

"For once, I actually agree with you."

You and Mingi shook hands, your agreement finally in place. And Yunho couldn't be happier than finding out you two left your history in the past. He was ecstatic.

"Yay! Maybe now Mingi could join us on our dates!" Yunho suggested.

"Absolutely not. Don't push it."

"I am not about to be the third wheel here!"

Yunho laughed. "Ok, a little rough patches still, but at least now you guys are agreeing more than before. Right?"

Kang Yeosang:

If there's one thing that made Yeosang happier than chicken, it was you. He was so happy he found you, he felt like he finally found a piece of himself that was missing. So of course, he was excited to have the members meet you. They all seemed to love you and enjoy your company.

All except Wooyoung. For some odd reason, he didn't really seem to enjoy your company. He became oddly quiet when you were around, giving you weird looks whenever you got close to Yeosang. Later on, it turned to snappy comments.

"Yah! Stop hovering all over poor Yeosang. He doesn't like that stuff."

"Don't pinch his cheeks, he hates it."

"Don't pet him like that! He's not a puppy!"

Honestly, no one knew what the heck was up with him. Seonghwa only smirked every time you two talked about it.

"Don't you see? He's jealous." Was what he told you one day.

Neither one of you understood what he meant. Jealous of Yeosang or you? And why?

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at you two and your cluelessness.

"Wooyoung has been your friend for almost 6 years, yet you've never allowed him to show you affection, you've always pushed him off. But you display all forms of PDA with Y/N and it makes him mad cause you're not like that with him. Get it now?"

That's when it finally clicked with both of you. It all made sense now. To keep peace, you both limited your PDA in front of the others and you even suggested to Yeosang to allow Wooyoung to hug him every once in a while.

"Let Wooyoung hug me?" He raised an eyebrow at you.

"Yeah. And even let him cuddle you sometimes."

Yeosang stayed silent, thinking about it for a bit.

"I'm.....not sure."

"Oh come on! How bad can it be? It's just Wooyoung." You assured him.

"Yeah, Wooyoung. Do you not know how clingy he is?"

Choi San:

San was at a lost. Jongho was usually well behaved and never caused problems, so why was he being like this with you? No he never insulted you or was outright rude to you. But he often decided to leave the room if you were there, even hearing San talk about you seemed to put him on edge. Jongho was fine with you at the beginning, so what the hell happened?

San once asked you if you and Jongho ever argued, to which you said no and honestly, you thought you rarely saw him because he was busy or tired. You didn't think that he was avoiding you on purpose.

San sat the maknae down one day when they were alone. He straight up asked him if there was something wrong, maybe there was a misunderstanding between you two. Jongho only sighed and looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry Hyung....."

San was taken aback by his words.

"Sorry for what?"

That's how Jongho confessed everything: how he was avoiding you and all conversations about you because he realized he started developing feelings for you and he felt it was inappropriate and disrespectful to you, to San and to your guys' relationship. San was in shock at hearing him say that, he was speechless for a while. Jongho felt so bad, he actually teared up.

"Hyung I really am sorry. I swear I'll try to get over it and I'll never come between you two."

San nodded his head, he understood where Jongho was coming from. He wrapped an arm around him.

"Hey it's ok. I get it, we don't choose who we end up falling for. Thank you for being honest with me. I'm not mad. I swear."

San himself teared up at seeing the boy's tears. He gave him a tight hug, and assured him that he wouldn't tell you about this, Jongho didn't want you to know.

"I'll get over it. I know I will."

"Don't worry. One day you'll find someone too." San smiled at him.

Song Mingi:

"What do you mean you two already know each other?"

It was quite shocking to everyone to find out Yunho and you knew each other. But yes indeed you two knew each other. Both of you used to be in different dance schools, often meeting in competitions and let's just say it wasn't exactly a friendly environment. The rivalry between your teams was strong every time and there was never room for any hint of niceness between any of the members.

So naturally, both of you were on defense mode every time you two interacted. No harsh words were ever said, you two just stared at each other, silently cursing the other for coming back into your life.

"How bad could Yunho have been? He's practically harmless!" Mingi asked you one day.

"He always made fun of us with his friends! Often criticized every move I made."

Mingi also asked Yunho his side of the story.

"They were snobs. Often looking down at us just cause their dance academy was more fancy and expensive."

Mingi wasn't upset or angry that you two didn't get along. It made him more determined to get you two to get along. You both shared a passion for dancing, so why should it matter about what happened before?

Which is why he often dragged Yunho on your dates, it was awkward not just because you were rivals, but who the heck brings someone to third wheel on their date willingly?

His persistence paid off though when he invited you to one of their dance practices. They were all amazing, but you could definitely tell Yunho was on another level and that's exactly what you told him when they asked what you thought.

"You're really great. I can see why you're the main dancer."

"Thanks......do you wanna teach me that one choreo you guys performed at the last competition we were in? I really enjoyed it and you were amazing."

You smiled and agreed, both of you now relaxed and putting your past behind you.

"Omg! That's a great idea! Let's do it Friday! How's that sound?" Mingi exclaimed, overhearing you two.

"I don't remember including you? Do you Yunho?" You teased him.

"Nope." Yunho played along.

"I'm your boyfriend! And you're my friend! I have double reason to come!"

Jung Wooyoung:

Yeosang didn't like you and he made it clear as daylight. He'd often scoff at anything you said, roll his eyes at you or throw in one of his sarcastic comments at you. Wooyoung played it off as that's just how he was to anyone new he met. But days stretched to weeks, then months and he was still being an asshole to you.

It was a particularly bad day for you once and Yeosang made a comment that finally made you break and you started crying, startling everyone. Wooyoung was beyond furious at his so called best friend. After calming you down and taking you home, he sat Yeosang down.

"You're an asshole, I hope you realize that. Y/N has done nothing to you have they?"

Yeosang was silent cause that part was true. Wooyoung demanded an explanation for his behavior.

"I'm mad cause they're taking you away from me ok? I get you're in a relationship but you never spend time with me anymore and every night, you just talk and talk about how wonderful your boyfriend/girlfriend is and I..... I feel lonely ok? I miss my friend... and I felt they were taking you away from me..."

Yeosang finally got that out of his chest. Although Wooyoung understood his friend, that gave him no right to take it out on you. After more serious talking, Yeosang agreed to apologize to you, which he did the very next day. He even bought you your favorite food to make it up to you. He didn't immediately start hanging out with you though, he knew you probably needed space first. But after a while, the three of you started spending more time together. In fact, Yeosang and you had so much in common, you two ended up spending more time together than Wooyoung felt comfortable with.

"Hey! This isn't a 3 way relationship and much less between you two! So stop being so close cause I will get mad!"

Somehow Wooyoung doesn't know if it was a good idea making you two make up.

Choi Jongho:

As soon as San and you locked eyes, it was tension between you two. You tried to avoid him, or if he was around you tried to be as civil as possible, but everyone could tell how awkward you were around him. San however was very stoic towards you, or extremely formal. He wasn't rude, but it was really clear that your presence bothered him.

Jongho asked you two often why, but neither of you wanted to say anything. He was at a loss. He talked about it with Seonghwa and Hongjoong, and they themselves couldn't get an answer out of them. So what the heck was it? Why are you two so tense with each other?

Wooyoung was nagging so much one day when you were all together. He kept asking why you two hardly talked and avoided each other, pestering you two on if you knew each other before and told you guys to be friends. It was so incessant that San finally cracked.

"Stop! Do you think either one of us want to talk about the fact we dated in school and had a rough break up?!"

Everyone went silent at the confession, you hid your face in one of your hands. Jongho was stunned and looked between you two.

"You....and San Hyung?" He pointed to you two.

"Yes Jongho. San and I dated before he became a trainee."

That was all you two were willing to say, neither one of you wanting to recall what happened before in the past. Jongho suddenly felt threatened. What if you still had feelings for him? What if he had feelings for you? What if you left him?

But those concerns were laid to rest when you both assured him it wouldn't happen.

"Look Jongho, what happened between us two stays between us, and it's in the past. This is the present and now you and Y/N are together. So don't worry about it." San assured him.

"Yeah, and if you want, we'll try to get along. Start like new. Is that ok?" You asked him.

Jongho felt relief. He wasn't going to lose you and he didn't have to worry anymore about you two being uncomfortable around each other. It was going to take time, but all of you were mature and were willing to make things work.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[writingletterstothefire]

right where you left me

A/N: So here it is, a full 3 days after I said I’d post it. Things have been pretty crappy, so I apologize if there was anyone out there who actually cared about this fic. The idea came to me while listening to right where you left me by Taylor Swift. I had this image of like, okay, we know about Lorraine, but what if there was someone back in Texas still waiting for Javi, after all this time? And from that thought, came this. it’s not beta-read in the slightest, so I’m so sorry if there’s any typos or sentences that don’t sound right. Thanks, y’all. Enjoy.

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: maybe some language?? abandonment, Javier Peña

Prom night was supposed to be the best night of your high school career. And at first, it really felt like it might be. Your best friend Javier Peña was taking you, and you had picked the perfect dress. You and Javi were going as friends, but you really thought that this might finally be the night that you worked up the courage to tell him how you felt. You’d been dancing around each other for months, and tonight was the night that you’d finally take your friendship to a new level.

At 8pm sharp, there was a knock on your door. Javi was always right on time. You walked down the stairs slowly, like you’d seen girls do in movies, but Javi just smiled up at you and went, “Hey, you actually look like a human instead of a troll today!”

Needless to say, you weren’t exactly ecstatic at the start of the night. By the time you got to the prom, though, you had calmed down and reminded yourself that Javi was prone to sticking his foot in his mouth. He was probably just not used to seeing you dressed up.

“You alright, squirt?” Javi asked as he helped you out of his truck and started to lead you into the school. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“No, I’m fine!” You smiled up at him, determined to have a good night. “Ready to force you to dance with me all night.”

Javi laughed at that. “I’ll give you three dances, alright squirt?”

“Deal!” You beamed up at him. Javi’s heart skipped a beat, like it always did when you smiled at him like that.

In the end, you got four and a half dances out of him. He wasn’t happy about it, but he would do anything you asked him to.

After the prom, you both ended up at the diner you worked at part-time, sharing a milkshake and a plate of fries. That was when the bomb dropped.

“I’m leaving,” he suddenly blurted out, halfway through the milkshake.

“Oh, okay, I’ll go get us a box—” you started to offer helpfully.

“No, I…” he grabbed your hand to stop you getting up, “I, uh, I’m going to Quantico. After graduation.”

Quantico was a conversation that had been looming over the two of you for the last three months. Javi wanted to go, and he wanted you to go up to Virginia with him. He begged you to at least apply to the schools in the area. He needed his best friend.

You’d been denied financial aid from the schools that you applied to.You would be staying in Texas. Eventually, with his father’s health declining after catching a bad bit of pneumonia, it had started to look like Javi might be staying in Texas too. But Chucho ended up making a full recovery, and insisted Javi went to Quantico to advance his career.

It seemed he would be taking his father’s advice. He would be leaving you.

But, you realized, the way Javi was telling you, the way his eyes were pleading with you now… It was almost as if he was waiting for you to ask him not to go. Javi would do anything you asked him to. But you couldn’t ask him to give up his future.

“I’m happy for you, Javi,” you managed to get out, tears collecting in your eyes as you smiled. “You’ve worked so hard to get there, you’re going to be amazing.”

Javi looked almost heartbroken. He had been so sure that you were going to yell and scream at him, beg him to please just stay. Yet, here you were, encouraging him to do the one thing he simultaneously wanted more than anything and didn’t want at all.

He just nodded silently and waited for you to finish the milkshake before taking you back home. You had both been anxious on the ride home. You knew it was now or never, because he was leaving in a week. The problem was that you weren’t going with him. Could you do it, knowing you’d be giving him a taste of what would never be?

You didn’t have time to think too hard about it before Javi had your face in his hands and was planting the sweetest kiss on your lips.

Before you could stop yourself, you whispered, “But, you’re leaving…”

The both of you stayed frozen for a few moments, before the tears in your eyes spilled over and you were rushing inside. Javi didn’t chase you, even though he wanted to.

The two of you avoided each other at school the following Monday. And then, a week later, he left.

Five years passed without much more than a few phone calls and a handful of letters passed between the two of you. You both chose to ignore the way that prom night ended. You needed each other too much. Even if it was a distanced friendship now, you chalked it up to growing up. Of course you weren’t going to be best friends forever, and it was foolish of you to consider that the distance wouldn’t change things.

But then, Javi walked into the diner. The same diner where he told you he was leaving. The same diner you still worked at every night, noon to close.

You couldn’t stop yourself from running up to him and grabbing him in a tight hug. He hugged you back, of course, squeezing you tightly and murmuring sweet nothings into your ear about how much he missed you.

“Javi, what are you doing here?! You’re supposed to be working for the DEA!” You squeezed him tighter, despite questioning his presence.

“What, I can’t visit home every once in a while, squirt?” He smirked that trademark smirk of his. You finally pulled back, crossing your arms over your chest and quirking an eyebrow.

“We haven’t seen you here since Christmas four years ago. And even then, only your dad saw you because you were only here for a night.”

“Alright, alright, I get it, I need to visit more,” he grumbled. His energy shifted into a nervous one. “You know, I’m actually here to, uh, give you this. I wanted to give it to you in person.”

He pulled a small slip of paper from his jacket, and you felt the blood leaving your head. You’d seen so many of these in the past two years, but you supposed you were getting to that age now.

“I wanted you to hear it from me,” he said gently, “because you mean more to me than anything. There’s a plus-one, if you, uh, need it.”

His brow furrowed as he said it, as though he was upset at the idea of you having a plus-one, and you were so confused by his expression that you almost forgot to take the paper from him. The invitation. A wedding invitation. Javi, your Javi, was getting married. You could hear a pin drop in the silence of the diner, mostly empty now, save for a few tables quietly eating amongst themselves.

“Congratulations, oh my god,” you finally exclaimed, quickly hugging him quickly so that he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to overflow. You hoped you sounded excited enough to throw off suspicion.

The two of you caught up over a milkshake and a plate of fries, and for a moment you could almost forget that five years had passed. You could almost forget the wedding invitation burning a hole into your apron.

When he asked you about your relationships, you were embarrassed to tell the truth. But you did, because you couldn’t exactly lie to Javi. He was still your best friend, distance and time spent away aside. You told him the truth, that none of the guys you met were the right fit. It was hard to find a good guy in this small town, you had jested. It was true. The best one had left.

Eventually, Javi left with a slip of, “Lorraine’s waiting for me—,” and you cut him off with a pained smile and a, “It’s fine, no it’s totally fine, I have to finish my shift anyways!”

In the end, you couldn’t make yourself go to the wedding. You picked up an extra shift that night, and focused on polishing each piece of silverware until it sparkled.

You’d learn two days later that Javi left her at the altar. Well, that is to say, he never even made it to the altar. He didn’t arrive to the church at all. He simply turned around, and booked a flight back to Quantico, tux and all. He was on the first plane out.

You didn’t know if you wanted to slap him or kiss him. You figured that it didn’t matter. You’d never get the chance to do either one.

———————————————————————

Ten years passed after that. You saw Javi at some Christmases, and you were sure to give him hell for leaving a woman at the altar, but for the better half of ten years, you didn’t see him. When he went down to Columbia, he didn’t come home for holidays. He didn’t want to bring any trouble back up to Texas. It was understandable, but your heart ached every day.

You tried to move on. You’d been trying for fifteen years. But, if you were honest with yourself, there was just no one for you like Javi. No one could compare to him.

You were still working at the diner, but you’d been promoted. The old owner, when he passed away, left the entire thing in your name. He requested that his estate pay off the rest of the mortgage and overdue bills, and you were gifted the diner, completely debt free. You refused to just accept the free money, though. Along with your new duties as the owner, you still worked at the diner five nights per week. If you were honest with yourself, you didn’t really have anything else to do. Your cat had food and water, your plants were watered in the morning, and you didn’t have anyone waiting for you at home. So, every night you helped serve tables, run food, and even bus if it was busy enough. You were happy to work. It kept your mind off of how lonely you were.

You were working on closing up one cold, rainy night, when you heard the door open. You never got any patrons after 11pm, so you immediately grew suspicious. You subtly reached for the baseball bat you kept behind the counter.

“We’re closing up, can I help—,” you froze. Javi was standing in the diner soaking wet and shivering. “Oh my god, Javi?”

“H-Hey squirt,” he managed to get out through his chattering teeth.

You hurried over to him, shoving his jean jacket off his shoulders. “You’re going to make yourself sick in these wet clothes! Come on, I’ve got some stuff in the employee lost and found that might work.”

You quickly locked up the front and ushered a shaking Javi to the back room, shoving the first clothes you found that might fit him into his arms. He started stripping his shirt off before you could turn around, and you felt yourself going bright red. After an embarrassingly long moment of you being frozen in shock, you managed to spin around and hurry out to the front with a, “I’m gonna make you something warm to drink!”

Your shaky hands somehow threw two mugs of tea together, and you set them on a table just as Javi came out of the back dressed in oversized sweats and a tie dye hoodie. You offered a small smile and sat at the booth, before realizing it was the booth that you’d sat at together so many times. This was the booth that you’d sat at the night he told you he was leaving. And the night he’d invited you to his wedding.

He sat at the other side of the booth, his ears a bit pink as he bashfully avoided your eyes.

“T-Thanks for the clothes. I don’t know why I didn’t grab an umbrella as I left,” he ducked his head.

You just gently pushed the mug of tea closer to him. “So, what brings you here? What did I do to be graced with your presence on this fine night?”

You didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so snarky, but you saw Javi flinch at your words. His hands wrapped around the warm mug as he stared into the tea.

“I’m, uh… I’m back from Columbia. For good.”

That wasn’t what you’d expected. In your surprised state, you took a moment to examine Javi. This Javi was rugged and worn out. He had permanent bags under his eyes, worry lines in his forehead, a thick, prominent mustache on his lip where there used to be only peach fuzz. His shoulders were hunched over and tense, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on them. And he was, you realized.

The man in front of you was not the boy you graduated high school with. He wasn’t even the man who left his wife at the altar. This man was seasoned and hard, well aware of the darkest horrors that the world possessed.

“What happened down there, Javi?” You had to ask. You knew from the way his jaw clenched that he didn’t want to talk about it, but you also knew that if he didn’t talk about it with you, then there was no one else who stood a chance.

And so, he told you. He recounted his struggles finding Escobar, and then Escobar’s escape. He told you about Escobar’s death, and then the rise of the Calí cartel. The things he’d thought he had to do for the cause. The things he would never repeat to anyone else for years to come. The nightmares that plagued his mind every night. And you listened to him. You didn’t interrupt, except to reach across the table and grab his hand, squeezing tightly every so often to remind him that you were here.You’d always be here, and you both knew that. Javi left and came back and then left again, and you stayed planted to the spot he left you in, waiting patiently for him to come back.

Javi finally finished recounting the stories from Columbia around two in the morning. You’d sat there, holding hands across the table for nearly three hours. You knew, in your heart, that it was time to tell Javi. If he accepted you, you’d go from there. If he rejected you, it was time to move on and try to find some semblance of happiness while you still had time.

“Javi, I—”

“I love you, squirt.”

You must have been looking at him like he’d just told you he was growing a third leg, because he burst out laughing. You couldn’t form a coherent thought. All that came out was a broken, “W-What?”

Javi just tilted his head at you. “Well… you can’t be all that surprised, can you? After all this time, you don’t know?”

“Javi… Javi, we’ve been friends for thirty years, but I’ve barely seen you for half of them. You were… You almost got married, Javi! To someone who wasn’t me! And you have the nerve to say I can’t be all that surprised?!” You knew the volume of your voice had risen substantially, but you didn’t care. He had no right to come into your diner and act like, after fifteen years, he had any right to spring this on you.

“Squirt, I…” Javi sighed, getting up and coming around to your side of the table. He sat next to you and picked up your hands, clasping them tightly in his own. “I messed up. I know. I thought you were better off without me, that you were going to go on to do bigger and better things, and you have, but I… I’m going to be selfish, squirt, for one more time. I’m going to be selfish and tell you that I love you, and I need you. With Lorraine… I proposed because she expected it. We didn’t even really get along that well. A month after I proposed…,” his head dropped, ashamed as he spoke his next words, “I said your name in bed.”

If you hadn’t already been frozen to your seat with shock, you’re sure you would’ve fallen over.

“I know it was unfair to her. I wish I’d never asked her to marry me. I should have come back for you, told you how much I loved you and how much I needed you. You’ve been so patient with me, I know you have. You’ve been nothing but amazing, even when I was a shitty friend to you. I wanted you to come to Quantico with me, and when you couldn’t, I thought… I thought that it was the universe telling me that it wouldn’t work. But fuck the universe. I am so sorry that I ever left you, squirt. I love you. And, if you’ll have me, I want to be with you. I want to marry you, if you’ll let me.” He kissed the backs of your hands.

You stayed frozen for a moment. You knew that none of this was easy for Javi. Admitting his true feelings, owning up to his mistakes, apologizing. He was coming to you, with his heart on his sleeve, and begging you not to turn him away. And how could you, if you were honest? You’d stayed in this state, in this town, in this diner, all for him. You told yourself it was just stability and familiarity that kept you there, but deep down you had always known that you were waiting for Javi. Staying put, right where he left you, just in case he ever decided to come back. And here he was, asking you to love him.

“Javi, I love you, too.”

You’d never seen Javier cry. The day he left, he came close. When his arms wrapped around you, you’d felt him shudder, just once. When you pulled back, his eyes stayed averted, and he didn’t look at you again. Except when he left, about to board his flight, and his eyes were just a tad shinier than usual.

Now, Javi allowed full tears to stream down his cheeks, as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him. He spoke no words, he just held you. He never truly thought that he would get to.

You slowly pulled back, reaching up to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears. “I love you, Javi. And I… I’ll marry you, one day. Let’s see how this goes? I don’t want to spook you by us moving too fast, I can’t lose you.”

Javi shook his head frantically. “No, you’ll never lose me. I’m never leaving you again, I was a fool to have left for all these years.”

You wiped at his cheeks one more time, before leaning up to kiss him. And he kissed you back.

You supposed that, if you finally got to have him, then all of the pain you went through while he was gone was worth it. Your waiting hadn’t been for nothing, you finally had your Javi. He was holding you, right here, right now, in the same place he’d left you. Only, this time, he was here to stay. He was here with you.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma Dark [09]

ー The scene starts in Yui’s bedroom

Yui: ...Zzー... Zzー...

*THUD*

Yui: !?

*Rustle*

Yui: ( What!? What was that sound!? )

*THUD THUD*

Yuma: Come on! How long ya gonna be snoozin’ for, huh!? Get yer ass out of bed!!

Yui: Y-Yuma-kun!?

Yuma: If ya don’t show up soon, imma fuckin’ wreck ya together with this damn door!!

*THUD THUD*

Yui: I-’ll open the door! I’ll open it, so please stop kicking!

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yuma: Geez, why do I have to...Hm? Oh, ya finally woke up, huh?

Yui: W-What on earth is going on...Wait, Yuma-kun, those clothes...

Yuma: Ya better get changed right away as well! Ruki asked me to have ya get ready and bring ya with me in time.

Yui: Get changed? You mean into my uniform?

( For one, he never told me anything about going to school... )

Yuma: What else? Do ya go to school naked or somethin’? Aahn?

Aah, I guess I shouldn’t put that past ya. Whatcha say? I wouldn’t mind, honestly?

It’d save me time when I suck yer blood since I won’t have to bother takin’ them off. Hehe, guess I should have ya do that at home from now on?

Yui: D-Definitely not!! Anyway, I’m gonna go get changed so wait here.

*Thud*

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to inside the car

Yui: ( So they do have a limousine as well...I wonder if this is normal in the Vampire world? )

( ...Or rather... )

( Yuma-kun seems really irritated... )

Yuma: Geez, ya stupid bitch. ‘Cause ya took yer damn sweet time, we’re totally late!

Ruki and the others already left before us. Who do ya think is gonna get yelled at afterwards, huh?

Yui: ( Then he could have just come wake me up sooner...But I can’t say that, can I? )

I’m sorry...

Yuma: If ya can apologize to me, then take Ruki’s stupid lecture in my place! Ahー ah! This is such a damn drag, fuck!

Honestly, how did I somehow end up havin’ to raise this dumb-as-fuck Sow?

If only she was as smart as a dog at least, it’d be somewhat more bearable...

Yui: ( Per usual, he doesn’t hold back with his insults... )

Anyway, Yuma-kun, why are we suddenly going to school? It hasn’t been brought up until today...

Yuma: Ya really think I know? I just obey that man’s orders.

Yui: That man...?

( Sounds like he respects this individual quite a bit... )

Yuma: Well, if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be takin’ ya to school. Those guys will be there as well after all.

Yui: ...You mean Ayato-kun and the others?

Yuma: Who else?

Hahーah, pretty sure we’ll be in deep shit if we run into each other on campus.

Speakin’ of which, aren’t ya curious ‘bout them?

Yui: Me...?

I wouldn’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind...But I’m sure they’re all upset so I might be a little scared to meet them...

Yuma: Hm...

Say, what was yer life with them like?

Yui: What do you mean?

Yuma: They like ya enough to throw a fuckin’ tantrum the moment ya suddenly disappear, no?

How did ya manage to wrap that troublesome bunch ‘round yer lil’ finger like that? I’m actually kinda interested to hear.

Yui: I don’t have them wrapped around my finger. I just lived a normal life...

Yuma: ...Heeh.

ー Yuma suddenly pins her down

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!?

Yuma: A normal life, huh...? Say they suddenly pinned ya down like this? And thenーー

*Rustle*

Yui: Wai...!

Yuma: Ya had yer blood sucked after they ripped the clothes off yer body, right? That what ya call a normal lifestyle?

Say...Is havin’ yer blood sucked normal to ya? Aahn?

Selection

→ Of course not! (S)

Yui: Of course it isn’t normal! It hurts, and it’s scary...

Yuma: Haahn? Then why did ya say ‘normal’ earlier? You’re contradictin’ yerself.

Yui: That was just a figure of speech...

Yuma: Like I give a damn. At least take responsibility for yer own words.

Geez, and here I thought ya finally learnt to speak for yerself, but now ya go changin’ yer mind every five seconds.

Can’t ya make up yer mind and stick with it?

→ It might have become that way (M)

Yui: It might have actually become normal to me...

Yuma: Hah! Then why did ya keep on tellin’ me ‘no!’ or ‘stop’, huh? Were ya just actin’ to be all pure and innocent?

What’s the deal with ya, huh...? Were ya actually happy inside this whole time even though ya kept on sayin’ no?

Yui: That’s wrong...!

Yuma: It’s not. Don’t ya feel the same right now? I’ve got ya pinned down underneath me, but you’re barely puttin’ up a fight, are ya?

Yui: ( That’s because his grip on my arms is just too strong, I can’t fight back even if I wanted to... )

Yuma: Well, regardless of how ya actually feel, ya described it as ‘normal’. In that case, I’ll roll with it too. 

Then I won’t be holdin’ back either, latchin’ onto ya as is ‘normal’, regardless of the time or place...Nn...

ー Yuma bites her

Yui: ( Says the person who has never held back in the first place...! )

Yuma: ...Mmh...

Yui: Uu, ah...!

Yuma: Nn...Nn...

...Haah...

Heh, yer blood really is the only thing that’s delicious. Is this what did those Sakamaki’s in too?

*Thud*

Yui: ( My head’s spinning... )

Yuma: Hah. Look at that ecstatic (1) expression of yers. Ya really are a ‘Sow’. (2)

No matter how desperately ya try and deny it, the fact you’ve gotten used to havin’ this sorta stuff done to ya, proves that you’re a full-fletched ‘Sow’.

You’re a woman who simply gets swept away by the pleasure, lacking any sense of reason, free will or virtue.

Yui: ( That’s not true... )

ー Yuma steps back

Yuma: Ahーah...This is exactly why those without any pride are dull as heck. They give in the moment they feel a lil’ good.

Oi, ya better wake me up when we get to school. It’s a pain after all. 

Monologue

Tossing me on one of the seats,

and if he was fed up with me, Yuma-kun dozed off.

...Just like Yuma-kun said,

have I perhaps been converted (流されている)?

Having my blood sucked (吸われる) is painful and frightening,

and if possible, I would rather not have it happen to me.

ーー However, do I truly dislike it

This question I posed myself before, pops up in my mind once again.

To help shake off said thought,

I squeezed my numb fingertips tightly. (3)

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 飛んだような顔 or ‘tonda youna kao’ literally means ‘a face as if you jumped’. The verb 飛ぶ or ‘tobu’ is used in this sense quite a lot within the DL franchise. From my understand, it describes the faces Yui makes when she loses herself in the pleasure from having her blood sucked.

(2) めすぶた or ‘mesubuta’ is also used as slang to refer to a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’. 

(3) I struggled with this line a lot, so I am sorry if my translation is a bit off. Yui specifies that she can’t seem to move her fingertips, but this kind of confused me as well because then how is she squeezing them?? Unless it’s just the fingertips of her one hand but that seems kind of odd as well. 

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[aloesarchives]

Gaolang Headcanons

(A/N):Sorry this took so long, I recently had a writer's block that made me really unmotivated to write. Another reason that it took so long was because I made the reader have a background that would’ve made it oc like, which I usually tend to stay away from. But after so pep talk with a friend and remembering this is my blog, I decided to say fuck it and write to self-indulge in my writing more and write this headcanon(what I mean is appearance is up to you but things like job occupation would be up to me. And also literally after eating ice cream, the thought of writing came back and here I am. Plus, who wouldn’t dream of being able to fight(doesn’t mean fighter) and kick ass in the Kengan series? If you said no, you lying.

(Edit July 1 2020 2:44am: Okay so Tumblr glitched again where my posts having been showing up on me blog and just disappeared from the search so I had to repost them again, I apologize for any inconveniences)

Word count:4257 words

But now, what many of you have been waiting for,

The Man, the myth, the legend himself,

Gaolang Fucking Daddy Wongsawat

I’ma write so much for this man you have no idea

Let’s gets two things out of the way first about this absolute unit of a man right here: Gaolang Wongsawat

First things first, Gaolang is literally a man of few words. He’s not mute, of course, it’s just he’s more of a man that speaks when spoken to. However, it doesn’t mean you start and carry every conversation the two of you have. Gaolang is always listening to you when you speak even though he’s not looking at you. He just gives you a short reply or answer when you ask him certain things, not a a tired or agitated response but more of them not pushing an agenda into the conversation unless needed so.

But when it’s just the two of you and a silent falls in between, it’s unsurprisingly serene and pleasant. Like the silence and energy that Gaolang gives off doesn’t make you uncomfortable or awkward, which is ideal when you both don’t want to talk because you’re either tired and lean on Gaolang, or when words aren’t needed in the moment and you silently enjoy each other company. He’s one of the few people to be able to not talk much and make the air not feel unbearable.

Second, Gaolang is a man of honor. With his status in Thailand and being the bodyguard of King Rama XII, Gaolang doesn’t use his status to prey on others/ those who are weaker than him. He deems that as cowardice and dishonorable so he doesn’t really want to cause trouble for King Rama and you.

Now with that out of the way, let’s got on it with this man, shall we?

TBH, you could’ve met Gaolang anywhere so it’s up in the air how you guys met.

The apartment is always clean and nice since Gaolang cleans up the place once or twice a week. You do you part around the house, of course, to keep it clean when Gaolang isn’t home, especially when he’s out for his boxing matches and championships for heavyweight. But Gaolang has a particular way of keeping the apartment clean and gets kinda of passive aggressive when something isn’t cleaned properly.

You two mostly split doing the chores in the house, like you vacuum and he does the dishes for the week and it would switch every other week. The only chore Gaolang just leaves solely up to you is the laundry. This is due to him not wanting to mess up any of your clothing when he’s washing them so you do both of your guys’s laundry. Plus, Gaolang doesn’t have that much of a diverse closet so washing his clothes isn’t much of a hassle.

Cooking wise, you mostly leave it up to Gaolang b/c face it, Gaolang is the better cook between the two of you, no offense mate. But Gaolang’s cooking smacks so hard you don’t eat out/get takeout anymore unless you’re craving some of that Thailand street food, which he doesn’t mind as long as it’s not frequent. But fam, why go out when Gaolang’s cooking is so good?

Domestic life with Gaolang is honestly lovely, holy shit. Like it’s pure bliss and wonderful. Usually it goes like this:

Every morning, Gaolang usually wakes up earlier than you which you don’t mind. He gets dress but doesn’t put on his dress shirt on until he has to leave for work. While you get ready for the day and freshen up, he already made coffee(if you drink it) and is cooking breakfast. When you’re done and walk out of the bed room, you already greet him good morning where you either hug him from behind or give him a good morning kiss( but the second one is always your go to). The tv is on in the background and you sip your drink as you watch what’s currently on. Gaolang calls out saying breakfast is ready and you two eat at the table. Once down, dishes are put into the sink and after a few minutes, Gaolang has to leave for work. He puts on his dress shirt, grabs his blazer, and while he’s tying his tie you’re at the door to bid him a good day at work. Once he’s finish and has put on his shoes on, you wish him a good day along with a kiss as you wave him off. Once you hear the door click, you knew it would be awhile until he comes back home. Your job allows you do work at home so you’re always in the apartment. Once done, you would clean the place, do the laundry, run a couple of errands, or relax. For lunch you have leftovers that Gaolang cooked the day before in the fridge. Afterwards, you do stuff to let the time pass whether it be productive or not. You know Gaolang is home by the clicking of the door and his voice saying “I’m home”. You give him a welcome back kiss and asked him about his day while holding onto his blazer to be later stemmed. He just said it was normal and nothing of the sort. However, there was one time he told you  fought someone who tried to claim he’s spot as his majesty’s bodyguard but by the look of things you can assume Gaolang won. While you put away his blazer, he ask you about your day which you reply with the usual that you say. Right away, you and Gaolang start making dinner for the evening. Gaolang is at the stove while you cut up the meat and vegetables and handing it to them when you’re done. Washing your hands, you set up the table and waited until he was done. Dinner mostly has minimal talking because it’s eating time but Gaolang will answer you if you ask him something. The aftermath of dinner is mostly compromise of cleaning the dishes, the table, counter tops, and putting away the left overs in the fridge. Then it’s off to the bedroom where the two of you get ready for bed. You always let Gaolang go first into the bathroom to do what need to do since he’s quick. Once done with both of your nightly routines, you two head off for bed. You always give him a good night kiss before sleeping and Gaolang has an arm around you as the two of you sleep.

There are very few times where you wake up first: when he gets the day off, just got back to Thailand from weeks abroad for championships and matches, or from a hefty training session. However, this is mostly uncommon to happen as Gaolang is a early bird.

Sleepwise, Gaolang doesn’t really snore. He’s a quiet sleeper, however, he leans in more of moderate- lighter sleeper where heavy stirring and noise can bring him out of sleep. But it does take some minimal effort to wake him up. Gaolang is the type of person to face away you the two of you would fall asleep but when you wake up his body is facing you and his arms are caging you in. I can see him also being the type of spouse to carry you into your bed if you fell asleep on the couch or while working, Gaolang is more than welcome to carry off to bed, hell he’ll tuck you in and give you a forehead kiss.

This man will HOLD you in your sleep, fucking on cloud 9, sis. And you never felt more safe and comfortable in your life.

Gaolang doesn’t talk a lot when eating, but again he won’t shy away when you’re talking/asking him something.

Straight up, Gaolang loves to watch those soap operas/Asian dramas, it’s sort of his guilty pleasure. When you found out about it, you didn’t really judge him for it because you actually liked the series he was watching. He was a little bit anxious when you didn’t say anything but relaxed when the only words you said to him was “Gao, scoot over this is getting interesting.” Like he’s motionless and his face barely contorts when the plot begins to thicken but you can tell he is enjoying the show.

It would be untrue if you didn’t at least have some encounter with Saw Paing. God, I can imagine as soon Gaolang leaves for work and you have the apartment to yourself, then the next thing you know there’s a Burmese man in his 30′s outside of your window and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs what seem to be your beloved names. Two thoughts are running through your head as you’re just staring on at this man: #1- Who the hell is this man and how does he know Gaolang? and #2- How in the hell was he able to climb up to you and Gaolang’s high rise apartment? After you let him in through one of your windows, the man was quite surprise because he hasn’t seen you before, or more rather in the apartment. He asked you who were you, when you said you’re Gaolang’s wife, he was shock and kind of ecstatic to know that Gaolang has gotten himself a spouse. The first thing you took note was his loud and constant yelling; however, when you’re talking to him in the apartment, he dies down his voice and doesn’t yell. He somehow manages to leave the apartment and miss Gaolang arrival from work. And when Gaolang comes home and asked about your day, he’s slightly intrigued when you said you made a new friend. As soon as you mention Saw Paing, you see Gaolang’s face slightly grimace as he let out an annoyed sigh. He apologizes for his behavior and for you not to say sorry for causing it. After he explains his history with Saw Paing, you now understand his reaction. Gaolang is kind of happy for you to be friends with Saw Paing because at least Saw Paing gets to hang out with you and not bother him whiles he’s trying to live his life with you. Surprisingly, when you became friends with Saw Paing, he won’t barge into your guys’s apartment or yell anymore, most of the time that is. But it’s all good with Saw Paing being and Gaolang doesn’t mind as long as he is minimal involvement in it.

Saw Paing is your buddy, fam. It’s bound to happen.

You do fight but it’s more on the side and a hobby you do. Unlike Gaolang, who does this as a profession, you do this as more for fitness and self defense. You’re not as powerful as Gaolang, but you can handle yourself enough where Gaolang doesn’t have to worry about you going out without him. The two of you spar and train together when given the time but during the small sparring Gaolang goes easy on you because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

King Rama every now and then would ask Gaolang about you. Rama is pretty much Gucci with Gaolang so it doesn’t really bug him. King Rama is one of the few people that knew about you being with Gaolang, so yeah. He was intrigued by the fact that Gaolang subtle mentions you the first time he asked him. Over time, Rama listen to his royal subject and bodyguard as Gaolang talks about you, he just wants Gaolang to spill the tea. Although it’s very hard for many people notice, King Rama notice a slight soften in Gaolang during those moments. The fact that you were able to make a dent in the stoic Thai God of War was more than enough for Rama to have a reason to meet you. He was curious on who you were to able to do that to Gaolang. Then queue the day you were invited by the King of Thailand himself to have a simple small meeting. You had no idea why the King wanted audience with you, but you knew you had to go b/c it would be rude if you didn’t.  You told Gaolang that you had to leave early to go somewhere and he thought nothing of it. You also didn’t tell Gaolang about it cause you assumed he knew about it. For some reason, King Rama keep things simple and asked you to walk around the palace’s garden, contrasting his extravagant behavior. Being the charismatic person he is, you’re not intimidated by him and answer his questions truthfully. After listening to your replies and responses, especially ones about Gaolang, he now understands why Gaolang took interest to you, you’re unique in the sense that you’re a blue diamond. Matchless, rare, and unlike any other, not in the way you shiny above everyone since you blended into the crowd, but once they have stumble upon and get to know you there’s no turning back from there. Just the imagine the shock on Gaolang’s face when he gets to work and sees you talking to his majesty. He was curious and a bit scared that you were talking to Rama but after a short exchange of laughter it disappeared. After you spotted Gaolang and the two of you walked towards him, Rama stated the two of you had a little chat and that you were heading on your way. Once Gaolang responded with a head nod, you bow to the King and wave bye to Gaolang as you go for the rest of the day. Soon as you’re out of sight, King Rama comments to Gaolang that you’re a hidden gem and told him to take good care of you. And Gaolang being Gaolang, smiles and fulfills his duties given by his king.

King Rama, low key, wants Gaolang to settle down because, I’m gonna be honest, he deserves it. Like Rama is vigile and gives Gaolang days off so he can spend time with you, this includes when Gaolang has boxing matches and championships too. He just wants Gaolang to slow down in life and spends his life with you without stress or worry.

King Rama implicitly ships you and Gaolang but you didn't hear it from me.

You definitely have run into King Rama during Gaolang’s boxing matches. Speaking of which, you always watch his matches. Whether it be at home or in the actually stadium. you make sure you were watching every single one of his fights. It’s enthralling to watch him fight, like his infamous Flash of 13 jabs is something that never cease to amaze you. Having won 4 heavyweight championship, you’ve never really doubted him and his abilities one bit. During one of his championship, King Rama was actually present and invited you to join him in the VIP lounge to watch Gaolang. The fight was intense but Gaolang came out victorious and won with a knock out. It was one of the most amazing things you have every seen as the crowd roared at the win and King Rama allowed Gaolang to take a 5 day rest as his fruitful victory.

There are times where you’re either at the entrance of the ring or inside the locker room to wish him luck. The most he’ll accept is a hug and a kiss on the cheek, that’s it. But he does flash you a smile before going out there.

Without a doubt, Gaolang is a very private person, except to you of course. Like Gaolang doesn’t reveal much of his home life to the public to keep the paparazzi away. He likes to keep the his work life and home life extremely separate. Your relationship with him and even your own existence is unknown to the public, THAT’S how private Gaolang is. And a little bit of help from King Rama as well.

Gaolang is not much of a confrontation man, but will confront and be straightforward with you when something is wrong with/bothering you.

He’s also is an observant person, you could tell by the way he analyzes opponents so he at least can read you and situations at home.

Due to this, he is very good a giving compliments. Not the super cheesy one, it’s usually the simple ones, and those are the one that get you all the time.

He has a chill personality, calm and collected, he’s not the type to jump the gun on assumptions. The man trusts you, fam.

It’s really hard to make Gaolang mad. He gets annoyed and aggravated, yeah, but it’ll never escalates to him being furious. Gaolang knows how to manage his emotions and has never really been irrational or lashed out before. The only time you ever saw Gaolang lose his composure was when he yelled at Saw Paing. And that moment, right there, was terrifying to you because you never seen Gaolang lash out before. So you do your best to not push his buttons too much.

Gaolang lets you do your own thing because he understands that you have your own life and do things on your own accord. Not much of a controlling person, far from you. But Gaolang doesn’t understand why you have a job when he makes a reasonable salary for the both of you to live off on. When you told him that you wanted to contribute to society and not rely on him for everything, and you also said you like to have save pocket money. Gaolang respects your answer and kinda likes that you take accountability for yourself.

Jealousy is something that Gaolang knows about and doesn’t really feel, but more rather avoid. Gaolang is comfortable in his own skin and abilities to know that you will not betray him and leave him for someone else. And it’s obvious when you’re not interested in anyone other than Gaolang and tell people off when they hit on you. But what really aggravates him is when the person can’t take a goddamn hint when you tell them off or deny any of their advances on you. Especially if it’s a scumbag of a guy. But Gaolang can’t be irrational due to him having a public image to uphold so he has to logical and clear minded. So Gaolang rational annoyance is rising in level, like his stare goes hard, his aura becomes daunting, anyone who’s near him fear like they would shit in their pants if they ever had to face Gaolang in such a state. You kept telling the guy that your husband/boyfriend wouldn’t be happy if he keep up his behavior with you. Then the man mocks about your lover and asks who is the lucky guy. Then queue my man Gaolang standing behind him and saying it was him and Gaolang was with you. After commenting that Gaolang was your boyfriend/lover, you were humored by the guy’s reaction. The man went pale, apologized to the Thai God of War and was out of sight from then. I don’t know who said it, but I think it was @bokutosbiceps​ (follow them, they have really good Kengan writing pieces.) that Gaolang goes into a state of grumpiness, which I can totally see. He be like this for what, like a week at max, and this is where everyone just stands clear of Gaolang and try to not get on his bad side. Like even Saw Paing doesn’t come over when he encountered Gaolang’s grumpiness, it’s that bad. Again, he knows that you won’t really leave him because he trust you won’t be that disloyal to him. But the only way to pull him out of that slump is excessive amount of words of affirmation from you and a simple promise that you’ll never leave him. But even after pulling him out of his grumpy pants state, Gaolang acts more of a bodyguard just in case a similar case happens again. If the person/people/guy tries their luck with you then it’s over for them and they will really die, literally Gaolang goes into Thai God of War mode and it ain’t pretty. But overtime, when incidents happen like that, his reaction is less elevated every time due to your unwavering loyalty to him. Jealousy is not foreign feeling to Gaolang but he tends to stay away from it as much as possible.

Seriously, imagine leaving Gaolang for someone else. Sis/fam not only are you a damn circus act, that’s a literal downgrade on so many levels. Like why? I’ll personally find you, smack your forehead, and lecture you why that was a bad move.

I mean, everyone does stay clear on bothering you in general. But after that incident where Gaolang reveal your relationship with him, then people really know to actually stay on your good side. You don’t use Gaolang’s status to abuse power, of course, to get your way with things. But you do make it clear that you’re with/married to him.

However, it’s safe to say that no one messes with you when your boyfriend/husband is literally the best Muay Thai fighter, undisputed heavyweight boxing champion, and bodyguard of the King of Thailand. They’re about of clowns that really want to be humiliated. I’ll also beat them up for you fam, i gotchu

One flaw Gaolang probably has is him having basic logic/common sense but he can be easily swayed and convinced on things he doesn’t have prior knowledge on. The man’s open up to new things, it’s more of him acting like a dumbass for a bit.

God, the horror of seeing Gaolang with wrong Japanese etiquette hurts your eyes and soul. You had to reteach him a lot on these types of things. He’s a little bit embarrassed but grateful that you’re have enough patience to teach him the proper etiquette.

POWER COUPLE OF THAILAND, I’LL FIGHT ANYONE THAT DISAGREES WITH ME. YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH THIS MAN, THAT’S FINAL.

I’ma tell you something sis so you better open them ears: Gaolang isn’t the type to have multiple flings or be in many relationship. He has better things to do with his time than waste on short term infatuation. So if he chooses you, that’s speaking VOLUMES.

In other words, if you’re the one, YOU ARE THE ONE! Like Gaolang could’ve been a playboy and have anyone in the world but the man chose you. YOU’RE THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE!!!!

Gaolang is not one to push things but he does have conversations with you that marriage and kids can be apart of the equation if you want.

Besides, who wouldn’t marry a man like Gaolang? You be missing out on so much.

Time with Gaolang is always productive no matter what since he knows how to use his time efficiently. You two go to the grocery store together and sometimes you divide and conquer in the store to save time. Being with Gaolang helps you manage your time effectively which helps you a lot.

Bruh, Gaolang’s hair is SOFT. You play with it when the two of you are laying down together and you can tell that he takes good care of his hair. Gaolang lets you do his hair, combing through it and add the bead at the end of his hair. He likes it when you do it.

I like to headcanon that the jewel on his forehead was a gift you gave him and every since you gave it to him he’s been wearing all day everyday.

Gaolang’s kisses are like angel feathers. They’re light and pure. He doesn’t really have any ulterior motive other than missing you on some work days. These are *chef kiss some of the most bless things you’ll ever have.

His hugs, fucking god send. Firm where you’re flush against him but not too tight. Gaolang’s hugs were just right. Those things make you feel safe, and all warm on the inside. There are some days where work is slow, where Gaolang just comes home and holds you in his arms while swaying back and forth. It helps him wine down and relax, transitioning into his home life with you. But hey, free hugs from Gaolang.

Another thing we need to talk about is his smile. I...god... seeing Gaolang smile is when you’ve achieved paradise. You do note that Gaolang doesn’t really smile that often. But if you ask him the right things, have a way with words and play your cards correctly, you can get him to smile and hell even a small chuckle out of him. And there’s no denying that you get butterflies in your stomach and feel warm, fuzzy, and so many positive emotions that you got to witness Gaolang smile.

His smile kills you, heart squeezes

Y’ALL can’t tell me that Gaolang’s smile right here gave you goose bumps or a shiver up your back. If you deny it, you’re lying to yourself, fam.

The man is CANONICALLY husband material, which mean the high possibility of him being a family man.

Literally best Husband, CHANGE MY MIND, I DARE YOU.

Gaolang is super soft to you, he is soft spoken to you, smiles more often around you, became more emotionally open, etc. He really does love and care about you, like a lot.

He is stoic teddy bear for you.

Thai Jesus, Done with everyone’s shit except yours and King Rama.

The most cursed images you have ever seen is that signature shocked express he has, it’s something you never really want ever.

Just living a good, satisfying, and tranquil life with Gaolang. A wholesome man of honor and loyalty, being with Gaolang is a goddamn dream you never want to wake up on.

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God this took way too long. Sorry for being gone for some time, I hit a writer’s block but it’s gone now. I finished on June 30th but stayed up until 12am to edit it. I’ma switch up the order and do Cosmo’s headcanon next. I’ll put the Gaolang oneshot on hold and actually finish my Chapter 2 for my series. This is my longest headcanon yet, and I’m tired.

Stay safe and beautiful, fam!

[cellophanejpeg]

sehnsucht || din djarin x f!reader

Final part of the redamancy series

Summary: You’re still upset by the heartbreaking news you’ve received and accidentally snap at your family.

a/n: this will be the final part of this series, but not to worry! i’ve been writing more for bounty hunter!reader x din and i’m excited to tell you i’ve got a new series coming! thanks for the support! let me know what you think, please, i am BEGGING you.

Warnings: sensitive topic, hurt/comfort, smut(+18)

Word count: 4.2k

tagging: @starkravinhzlnts​ @loljulie​ @vercopaanir​

part i | part ii | part iii | series masterlist

sehnsucht (n): the inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what, a yearning for far, familiar, non-earthy land one can identify as one’s home.

Din calls your name as you walk in front of him. You don’t want to talk to him. You don’t want to argue. You don’t want to fight. So you just take a deep breath and walk faster, hoping to get to the ship before it starts raining.

“Please–” He tries to reason with you. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Din convinced you to go to one doctor’s appointment in Napater, a very rich planet that has the best doctors in the galaxy. You were hesitant, you didn’t want to at first, but he said he wanted to be with you this time. You felt guilty for not taking him on the first appointment back in Serenno, so you agreed. 

But you didn’t think it’d be harder than the first time. You had to put yourself through the same exams you did in Serenno, only to hear the exact same words from the doctor. The chances of you getting pregnant were less than one percent. Din asked about other alternatives and the doctor explained all of them, but they were too expensive and you didn’t have enough credits for the treatments and procedures.

He calls your name once more and you take another deep breath, feeling the tears sting your eyes.

“What?! Isn’t this what you wanted?!” You snap, turning your heels and looking at him. “Do you believe me now?!”

“Cyare–”

“Don’t Cyare me!” You interrupt him, raising a hand as he reaches for you. Hot tears stream down your face as you look at him. “I didn’t want to come here.”

He knows. He knows you’re still upset about it and he knows doing that procedure once more was hard for you. Maybe he was selfish to have brought you here, but he just wanted to understand. He wanted to be there for you.

Din follows you in silence, heart heavy. When the ship comes to view, you start to feel the drops of rain on your hot skin. Swallowing the tears, you wait for Din to lower the ramp to the hull of the ship; anxious for your kid’s embrace, the only thing that could stop you from crying at the moment, you power walk inside towards the small compartment that the Child would usually be hidden in the rare times you left without him. As you press the button, you see him still napping, just like you left him.

“Hi, baby.” Your voice is soft as you pick him up, a small whimper comes out from his mouth, and he opens his eyes, looking at you with sleepy big orbits. “Did you have a good nap?”

You hear Din closing the hatch behind you and calling your name once more; you close your eyes, bringing the child closer to you, touching your forehead with his. He gives you a small whimper and moves in your arms, trying to free himself of the bundle of blankets that wrapped him like a burrito. Once he’s free, after your help, he stretches and yawn, wrapping his little arms around your neck. Turning around to face Din, you see him staring at you both and you start to feel guilty for snapping at him.

The Child looks at Din and smiles, stretching his arms towards him. The Mandalorian approaches you and takes him in his arms and you watch as he gives his dad a hug, just like he did with you.

“I believed you the first time,” Din says, his voice soft over the modulator. Sighing, you close your eyes, shaking your head. “I just–”

“Just drop it, Din.” You interrupt him before he can explain himself; tears burn your eyes again and you try to hold them in and shake your head, heading to the cockpit. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Sweet–”

“Just fucking drop it! This is already hard enough to me, okay, I don’t wanna fucking talk about it!” 

You raise your voice, but immediately regret it. The Child gets startled by your voice and frowns at you, his ears flopping downwards and his big eyes watering. Shit. You realize your mistake and quickly try to fix it, in vain.

“I’m sorry, Mommy’s sorry.” You try to hold him, but he buries his little face on Din’s chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

He starts crying loudly and you drop your arms on your side, feeling… Well, feeling everything. Sadness, anger, hopelessness. You realize you’re not mad at Din for making you go to Napater, but at yourself. You feel like it’s all your fault, because there’s something wrong with you that keeps you from having children the conventional way. And deep down, way deep down inside you, you had a little bit of hope the doctor seen in Serenno was wrong. You had a tiny bit of hope that you were normal, that you were okay. But it was shattered. 

Less than one percent.

Din takes your hand, pulling you out of your mind and squeezes, giving you an assuring nod. Tears start falling from your eyes, but before you can apologize he walks past you towards the cockpit.

…

Laying down on the bed in your quarters, the one you share with Din, you face the cold metal wall this time. It’s been hours since Napater and he hasn’t talked to you ever since your outburst. How could he, if every time he tried, you pushed him away? He was giving you the space you wanted, but you started to feel so alone in his absence.

Guilt is your own personal hell. It’s starting to eat you on the inside, leaving you tired. You’re tired of crying, you’re tired of feeling helpless, you’re tired of laying down. You wish you were in the cockpit, with the kid and Din, laughing and talking like you always did. Tears spill from your eyes for what it feels the millionth time.

It’s the shuffling of sheets you hear first, and then you feel a very light weight on your shoulder behind you. Lying on your back, you turn your head to see the kid sitting on the bed, staring curiously at you.

“Hey, green bean,” You whisper to him and he smiles at you, throwing his little body at you and hugging your neck as much as he could with those tiny, tiny arms. Maker, he’s so small and cute and adorable and he’s probably already forgotten you raised your voice in his presence. Sniffing, you lay your palm on his back, pulling him closer to you. When you speak, your voice is nothing but a whisper, so small you know only he can hear it, even though you’re alone in the room. “I’m sorry I yelled, okay? Mommy’s so sorry, can you forgive me?”

A small sob escapes from your lips when you feel his little head nodding against you, indicating he fully understood you. All this fuss about the infertility news, the sadness and the argument with Din, you ended up forgetting you already have the most precious baby in the whole galaxy. How could you? The most adorable creature in the world, the most rare, exquisite bundle of joy. And he was yours. Yours and Din’s. You’ve got everything you need right in front of you.

“I love you so much,” You whisper to him. “So, so much.”

This is the scene Din finds when he enters the quarters, looking for the Child that escaped his supervising a few minutes ago: you holding the kid like if you life depended on it, him holding you back like if he knew. He approaches you both with the intention of taking the kid to give you space, but you take him by surprise as you open your eyes to look at him.

“Sorry, I–”

“Let him stay,” You ask him. “Please.”

He looks at you and considers for a moment, then nods. His eyes linger on you for a moment before turning around to leave. Your voice stops his movements before he could reach the door.

“Stay with us?”

It’s soft, so soft and inviting. Memories from when he was just falling in love with you hit him like a train, memories he would never forget. It takes him back to the night you first asked him to lay with you. It was a cold night and you had caught a strong flu, one that were taking you longer to recover. You were freezing, even though you were burning up with fever. With that soft, inviting voice you asked him to stay.

“The ship…” He trails off and you give him a disappointed look. You know he never sleeps when the ship is in hyperspace. It’s too dangerous.

“Oh.”

“We’re almost there,” He promises.

“Where?”

He hesitates before answering. “Sorgan.”

…

You haven’t been to Sorgan in so long you’d almost forgotten how hot the days are. As soon as you left the ship, you felt the hot breeze on your face and almost groaned. Din said you all needed a break and decided to say for a couple of days in the forgotten planet. You didn’t complain, you actually agreed you needed a break from the Razor Crest and the bounty hunting life you both had. So he rented a small apartment room in an Inn for all of you to stay. It wasn’t much bigger than the Razor Crest but it was something. It had a small dining room, with a table and a separated room with a bed.

And, of course, the Child was ecstatic. During the first day, you both stopped by the small village you once had helped. He was so happy to see his old friends, now a little more grown up than before, you could cry when you saw the smile on his little face.

It was good to see everyone again. Especially Cara. You’ve grown found of the woman during your days in Sorgan, when training the people from the village. It was someone to relate to. The day you arrived, you spent a night at the cantina, just drinking and talking and laughing. Din was there too, but he wasn’t there. He was quiet and barely talked to you, only responding to Cara’s comments and questions. It made your heart ache, as if he didn’t want to be there.

Tonight, it’s just you and Cara. Claiming he was taking the Child to the village, he told you to have fun. So you came down to the establishment to have a couple of drinks with her.

“You’re my friend right?” Cara asks, after taking a sip from her drink. You nod, bringing your cup to your lips. “You’d tell me if something happened to you, right?”

Your eyes meet hers, a frown between your brows as you set your cup down.

“What, you don’t think I’ve noticed?” She laughs. “When I first met you, the only time he wasn’t near you was… Never. Now he barely talks to you.”

Swallowing, you tear your gaze away from her and look at your unfinished drink, considering telling her the truth. A silent pause follows the moment until she calls your name, worry in her voice when you shake your head.

“What’s wrong?” Cara insists.

“We, uh…” You exhale deeply. “We were trying for another baby.”

“Oh?” She raises her eyebrows slightly, in surprise.

“Yeah, but it turns out that I can’t.” Saying it without choking on your tears is weird. Maybe it’s the alcohol.

“What do you mean?”

“Doctor said the chances of me getting pregnant are less than one percent.” You say, shrugging a bit. “And I guess, I’ve been… distant after that.” You continue. “Back in Napater, we had an argument– Well, I... yelled at him and…”

You trailed off, feeling Cara’s hand on your shoulder. Tears are in your eyes, and you don’t bother to hold them in; you’re so tired of crying.

“I just– I feel guilty, you know?” Your voice cracks. “He really wanted another kid.”

“Well, there are treatments for this kind of problem, right?” She tried to comfort you.

You shake your head. “We don’t have enough credits.” A beat in silence hangs heavy in the air as you finish your drink.

“You can always… Steal another baby,” Cara shrugs. “You’re an expert on that.”

A laugh escapes your mouth, your shoulders shaking with it. “I guess you’re not wrong.”

She smiles at you, nodding.

“Listen,” She says, turning her body to face you and you do the same. “You know him better than I do, but what I know, ever since I first saw him with you, is that he loves you very much. It’s ridiculous, anyone can see how much that buckethead adores you.” You grin, timidly, looking away for a moment. “Be honest with him. Tell him you feel the way you feel.”

Cara’s simple advice makes you realize that maybe you weren’t completely honest with Din. Maybe it wasn’t fair of you to hide your feelings and your sadness and then lash out at him like you did.

You sigh, nodding at her. “You going soft on me, Carasynthia?”

She lets out a laugh and finishes her drink. “Fucking never.”

Laughing you smile at her, thankful you met her tonight. Cara was never one for being soft and understanding, but she was a good friend. A friend you’re grateful for.

…

It’s dark when you go back to the inn, the sun long gone before you even left the cantina. When you enter the small room, you see Din sitting on the table working on cleaning his blasters.

“You’re back already,” You say as you close the door behind you. He tilts his helmet towards you and nods. “Where’s the green bean?”

“I let him spend the night,” He says, voice raspy, altered by the modulator.

“Oh.” You stand by the door, awkwardly waiting for him to make the next move.

“He’ll be alright. Omera will take care of him.” He stands up from his chair. “How’s Cara?”

This is the most he’s talked to you ever since you got here, so you enjoy the most you can. “She’s good. Said she missed you tonight.”

A modulated chuckle echoes the place and you feel the corners of your lips curve into a small smile. When you speak, your voice is just a whisper, almost inaudible.

“I missed you too.”

Din doesn’t respond and the smile falls from your face almost as quick as he looks away from you.

“I brought you dinner,” He says, walking towards the bedroom. “I’m going to lie down.”

You don’t feel like eating at the moment, your stomach twisting in anxiety as you look at the food that’s set on the table. But you do sit down and eat the food he brought you, thankful for it. After, you discard the leftovers, and turn off the lights, stalking after him to the bedroom.

When you enter the small bedroom, you see him lying on his side, facing the wall. You try to be as silent as possible when you change your clothes, even though you know he’s still awake. His back faces you as you lie down and you stare at his hair, a brown mess of locks, fighting the urge to run your fingers through them. The bed isn’t bigger than yours at the ship and you’re so close, but still you fight every fiber in your body to not touch him.

“Din,” You whisper in the dark, after a moment in silence. He hums in response, his voice indicating he’s wide awake. You hesitate, suddenly feeling a little anxious. It’s ridiculous, you think, why are you so nervous to tell him that you’re sorry? You’ve been with him for years, saying sorry wasn’t a new thing in your relationship. “I– I’m sorry.”

Din doesn’t speak for a moment and then rolls over on the bed to face you. His eyes are warm and he’s so close you can feel when he takes a deep breath.

“Why are you apologizing, sweet girl?” His voice is soft, so soft it makes you wanna cry.

“Because I was a bitch,” You answer, looking away from him. “And– And you’re not talking not me because I yelled–”

His hand touches your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin and you stop talking when he gives you a soft look.

“I just thought you wanted space, my love.”

“I thought so, too.” Your voice is small, but he hears you just fine.

Din moves his hand to the back of your neck and kisses you tenderly. When he pulls back, the words spill out of your mouth.

“I haven’t been honest with you.” You look at him as he waits for you to continue. “When we went to Napater, I had a little bit of hope, and then–” You exhale. “And then it was shattered. You kept asking the doctor about alternatives and treatments and I just kept asking myself– What’s the point? We don’t have money, we can barely survive with the kid, and– And I feel guilty, okay? For snapping at you, for making the kid cry, for– Not being able to–”

“Come here.” He pulls you closer to him and you bury your face on his shoulder, only noticing the tears spilling from your eyes as your skin makes contact with the fabric of his shirt. His voice sounds choked as he speaks. “Please don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault.”

His hand cradles the back of your hair as the other is hooked on your lower back, keeping your body glued to his.

“It’s not your fault,” He repeats, whispering in your ear. You nod onto him and sniff, pulling away and trying to wipe the tears and snot from his shirt. Hooking a finger under your chin, he makes you look at him. “I’ll be with you until the end of the times. Either you give me a child or not.”

Fresh tears water your eyes as you feel your chest getting lighter with every word he says. It’s like a weight that’s been lifted from your shoulders.

“Do you promise?” You whisper and lean forward to kiss him.

He smiles on your mouth. “I promise.”

Din pulls you closer, deepening the kiss and moving his hand from your lower back to the back of your thighs. He tugs at you, hooking a hand on the back of your knee to pull you towards him as he lies on his back, making you straddle him. Your hair falls on his face, but he doesn’t seem to mind; your hands cradle his face as his travel between your hips and waist, occasionally digging his finger on your flesh. A quiet moan vibrates in your throat as he gives your ass a firm squeeze, caressing the skin under the thin fabric of your nightgown.

“I’ll never get tired of this,” He whispers, diggin his fingers on your soft flesh again and you laugh on his mouth, feeling your core suddenly burn with desire.

Grinding against him, you move your lips to kiss his jawline and neck, sucking on that sweet spot below his ear. Maker, he loves when you do this to him; he pulls the hem of your nightgown upwards to cup your bare ass, groaning and moaning your name. You pull back to look at him in the dark, the locks of hair framing your face and he looks at you with soft eyes. Then, your hands lean on his chest as you move to sit up, on him; his hands immediately push the spaghetti straps of your gown down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Din swallows, feeling his mouth go dry at the sight.

“I love when you wear this,” He says, his hands cupping your tits.

“I know.” You smile as you grind harder on him, feeling how hard he is and how wet you are at each movement, closing your eyes and moaning softly.

Looking down at him, you take his hardness out of his trousers and your hands and squeeze it lightly, pumping a few times before reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it up; he helps you take it off him and does the same with your gown. You lean down to press a kiss on his chest, now grinding your own wet cunt on his length.

“Fuck, baby,” He says. “You’re so good to me.”

“No, Din,” You answer, taking him again and guiding him to your entrance. “You’re so good to me.”

A loud moan escapes your mouth as you sink down on him, feeling him fill you completely. He grabs your hips and digs his fingers on your flesh, grunting your name as he pushes you down even more. His hips bucks upwards thrusting into you as you begin to ride him. It’s not like it’s been a while since you’ve both had sex, but tonight it feels different. It’s like you haven’t seen him after a long mission and welcomed him in the best way possible. The pace is slow at first, but Din increases the speed, making you dig your nails on his chest. He moans your name, slamming his hips on yours and you gasp, a sly smile on your lips.

“M-maker, you feel so good–” He grunts, his nails digging on your flesh. “I’ll never get tired of fucking this pretty pussy–”

“Fuck, Din,” You moan, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll cum–” A gasp leave your lips. “I’ll cum–”

“Does that feel good, baby?” He interrupts you, watching your breasts bounce in front of him. “You take me so well, you look–” A grunt escapes his lips. “You look s-so pretty on top of me like this, fuck.”

His words are the trigger you needed to reach your orgasm. You can feel it coming, deep down in your stomach, as you squeeze him down there. Din seems to sense it too, because he grabs the back of your neck, pulling you down to lie on his chest as he thrusts inside you deeper.

“Din…” You warn him, burying your face on his chest.

“I know, Meshl’a,” He replies, his arm holding your body to his. “Let it out, honey, let it all out.”

And you do. Your orgasm hits you with so much strength and intensity that your legs twitch around him. You moan and grunt, cursing softly and grabbing the sheets under him for support. You have no idea what hits you, but you know it’s the best orgasm he’s ever given to you. Din slows down his pace and put his hands on the side of your face, making you look at him.

“You okay?” He asks, concerned. Of course he noticed the twitch of your legs and the way you came hard on him.

“I’m great.” You nod, smiling at him.

He pulls out of you for a second, just to roll you both over on the mattress, hovering you and guiding himself inside you again. Your sensitive walls welcome him back, taking him inside and you smile, closing your eyes as he buries his face on the crook of your neck. He slams your hips together, and you tangle your fingers on his hair; you know he’s close too.

“Cum inside me, baby,” You whisper in his ear and he groans loudly, his pace becoming sloppy and slow. 

You feel him throb inside you, a muffled moan echoes the room as he fills you completely. The warm, sticky substance, somehow, make you whole.

“Maker, I love you.” He pulls out of you with a groan and lies down by your side, breathing hard.

You immediately hug his torso, laying your head on his shoulder and pressing a kiss on his cheek, nuzzling his jawline. He hugs you back and sigh, staying like that for a moment, waiting for your hearts to calm down, your breathings be back to its normal speed.

“Back at the Crest,” Din starts, pulling you closer to him. “When I saw you with the kid on our bed, I– I couldn’t stop thinking...” He trails off and you move your hand to his face, yours still buried on his neck, encouraging him to speak. “You’re such a great mom.”

Tears burn your closed eyes, threatening to spill, and you swallow hard, tightening your grip on him.

“You’re so good to him,” He says, his voice cracking. “And to me too.”

You take a shaky breath, feeling the tears stream down your face and drip on his neck.

“I– I got so caught up in the bad news, that I forgot we already have a baby,” You say, fighting the tears. “Maybe– Maybe just a miracle will get me pregnant but… That’s okay, Din. Because I have you and him.”

It takes you a second to realize he’s also crying, his voice cracking as he speaks.

“I really love you.” He sobs and you pull back to look at him, brushing his hair away from his forehead, a gesture he’d grown to love during the years with you.

“I love you too,” You answer, pressing your lips against his.

Maybe you’ll never get pregnant. Maybe a miracle will happen, maybe it won’t. But you know that’s okay, because your family will always be there for you. Your small, weird family.

But yours.

[anarcoqueer1994]

You Are My Sunshine

A little Shrinkyclinks fic I am working on. Not beta read so ope.

Steve had retired a few months back, giving Sam the shield. His life had been quiet enough since then, getting a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with Bucky when Bucky returned from the blip. Bucky, though,would still go out on missions with Sam and did some freelance work for the government. Steve would never admit that though his friend was more than capable, he would still get nervous when he was away for days at a time, worried that he would lose his friend for a third time. But overall, it was going fine. That is until one day when one of Bucky's jobs followed him home.

An unfortunate result of the recent Flag Smashers attacks, some anti-super soldier terrorist groups rose-up out of fear. Some wealthy elites, both part of world governments and independent ,backed these groups in secret, supplying tech and money, as they see super soldiers as a threat to their power. They weaponized these people’s fear. These groups were ruthless in their pursuits, ordered to not care who they hurt, as long as they eliminated super soldiers. 

Bucky and Sam had faced one of these groups recently, when they attempted to come after and kill Bucky while they were out on an intelligence mission. The two men thought that they had taken care of the group after a long, drawn-out battle, rounding them up to deal with the consequences. What they hadn't had counted on was a second team following Bucky back to Brooklyn, after he and Sam went their separate ways. He had done well to keep he and Steve’s location a secret, but got careless this time, letting his guard down.

So now these militants were in New York in front of their apartment building, threatening to hurt other people, to get to Steve and Bucky. Of course the men don’t  back down, not waiting for backup to arrive. The fight had been tense, Bucky and Steve vs 10 well-armed men, but nothing they couldn't handle. So they managed to subdue them. But as a last-ditch effort, one shot something right towards Bucky who had been occupied with another one of the men. It appeared like a red laser beam, almost something out of a sci-fi film. Steve noticed it coming, and not having the time to warn Bucky, jumps in front of his friend, taking the hit. He goes down hard to the ground, unconscious instantly. "Steve!" Bucky yells out, heart sinking. When his friend doesn’t  move, he is urged back into action, protecting his now defenseless friend. It takes everything in him not to revert to killing, like the Winter Soldier, but the man who shot Steve was definitely in bad shape by the time backup,government agents, arrived. They round the would be terrorist up and get them hauled away.

As the men are being taken away, Bucky runs towards Steve who is unresponsive on the ground but still breathing. He yells for an ambulance. He scoops Steve up in his arms, and against his chest, kneeling on the ground, whispering "Come on, Stevie…" he feels like this is all his fault. He was the one who brought them there, he was the one the gun was aiming for, and now the love of his life, however unrequited that may be, is lying unconscious on the ground, and god only knows what that laser did. He feels a tear well up in his eye, forcing himself not to shed it. This is not the time to break down. But he is terrified. He hasn’t seen Steve completely unresponsive in years, not since they were kids and he would get into fights and get knocked unconscious. Bucky, then too, would often lose his mind, beating up anyone who had touched his Stevie, whether Steve knew it or not. 

But before the ambulance arrives, Steve is opening his eyes again, smiling at Bucky. “Hey Buck.” He sounds completely fine.  

Bucky lets out a sigh of relief, it looks like whatever the laser was intended to do didn’t work on him. “How ya' feeling, pal?” Bucky smiles back.

“Great, just a little tired, but I don’t feel any different otherwise.” Suddenly, Steve becomes aware of Bucky’s arms still wrapped around him, pulling him close to his chest. He blushes as he clears his throat. “You planning on squeezing me to death, bud?”

Now Bucky is going red, trying to laugh it off as he lets go. “I thought you were dying, punk.”

Steve just laughs back, sitting up right as the ambulance arrives. They bring him to the truck and check him out, giving him a clean bill of health. So, Steve and Bucky return to the apartment. Both showering and then Steve opting to go lay down. Seriously injured or not, being knocked unconscious took a lot out of him.

Bucky sat in their living room, trying his best to block out the events of today. For those few minutes, when he thought he could lose Steve, he had felt like everything around him was going to crash down, burying him in a pit of loneliness and sadness that he knew he wouldn't be able to escape. The thought of losing Steve again made him sick to his stomach. Steve was his everything, even when they were kids in Brooklyn, when sickness would ravage the blonde’s body and he would spend days at the Rogers’ home, sitting near his bedside, or sliding into bed to pull him close to keep him warm. Worried that he could lose his Stevie at any moment. Terrified at the thought. And seeing Steve unconscious today, brought all those feelings back. It was worse than seeing him roughed up in battle, because at least those times he had been conscious. But this time was different.  He doesn’t know what he would do without his favorite person in the whole world, the one person who understands him. The person he would do anything for, be anything for, just to make him happy. But Steve was fine, he reminded himself.

So, he tries to shake away those feelings, sending mindless texts to Sam, who had messaged him as soon as he heard what happened. Bucky filled him in, told him Steve was alright. Then deciding to read, he picked up where he left off on The Lord of the Rings. He has to say, he loves these books, always liking The Hobbit, so being ecstatic to find out that the author had written more later. One good thing about waking up in the future. This did the trick, immersing himself into the story, melting away any lingering thoughts of today. 

That is until a couple hours pass, and he hears rough coughing from Steve’s bedroom. This catches him off guard. Steve (and himself), don’t really get sick thanks to the fantastic immune system afforded to super soldiers.

He gets up and makes his way to Steve’s bedroom, knocking as he hears the continued coughing fit, punctuated by wheezing. When Steve doesn’t answer, Bucky just opens the door, too worried to care about etiquette. When he enters the room, he stops dead in his tracks. There, sitting up coughing, is Steve. But Steve is different then when he went to lay down, He is much shorter, lacking any muscle mass, skinny, drowning in the navy t-shirt and grey sweatpants he went to sleep in. He looks like he did before the serum, give, or take a few years due to the time he has spent outside of the ice.

Bucky steps closer “Stevie?” He is shocked and worried again.

When Steve finally catches his breath, he looks down at his own hands instead of meeting Bucky’s stare, mortified by his sudden appearance change. The other man stepped closer to the bed. “Steve, I think the ray wasn’t so harmless.” He tries to say plainly, not showing the worry in his voice. For as much as he had been angry at Steve back in the day for letting the military experiment on him, he was ultimately grateful that the serum had helped his body fight back diseases that had tormented him his entire life. 

Steve’s bright blue eyes, which always stood out more against his paler, sicklier skin, shoot up and meet Bucky’s and he snaps “You think?” His harsh tone caused Bucky to recoil slightly. Steve, seeing this, quickly apologizes, feeling guilty. “Sorry, Buck…” Bucky nods and steps forward again, taking a seat on the edge of Steve’s bed. "Don't  worry about it, it was a dumb thing to say. "Bucky blushes slightly, cursing himself for being such an idiot sometimes. 

Steve sighs, not towards Bucky but in general, towards the room.“I’m just frustrated. I woke up a few minutes ago and I was this…and then it got hard to breathe and for the first time in years it felt like I was having an asthma attack. Isn’t that pathetic?”

Something switches in Bucky’s head when Steve calls himself pathetic, something more protective like how he used to feel when they were much younger. He reaches over like it is nothing, placing his hand on Steve’s bony knee. “I’m going to tell you like I did back then. Nothing about you is pathetic. You can’t help what your body does. And you…you jumped in front of a gun to protect me. I wouldn’t call that pathetic. I’d call that being a hero.” 

Steve cracks a small smile. “Whatever you say…” He does not believe him but knows Bucky won’t back down on this, he never has. He lets out a shiver. The apartment is freezing. It is February but they keep the heat low since both men had such a high tolerance to cold. Bucky notices his friend shivering. “Oh shoot, I sorry Stevie. Let me get the heat and then…I’m going to call down to the Avenger’s Tower.” Pepper has been keeping it going and he knows she will know who can help them. 

Steve nods, hating feeling so useless, but knowing Bucky is there to help. That he can rely on Bucky not to make him feel worse, just be there to support and help him. He used to hate the way Bucky would always step in. He used to think it was because Bucky thought he was weak. But in reality, its because Bucky is the best friend a guy could ask for.

Bucky turns the heat up before making the call. It’s pretty late at this point, so Pepper tells them to come down tomorrow and they will take a look at him. Bruce can be there in the morning to help. Bucky hates that, hates that he has to wait. He is worried about Steve and wants answers now. But he knows she is right. They should just rest, but first thing in the morning Bucky will be down there with Steve. 

He makes his way back to Steve’s bedroom not bothering to knock on the half-opened door, wishing he did though. Steve was facing away from him, but he was naked, ass in full view of Bucky. Even when he was small and skinny, Bucky thought he had a fantastic ass, not that anyone would have been able to tell back in the day, Steve always wore clothes too big for him. Bucky blushes as he tries to get out without Steve noticing him, but he is distracted, clumsily bumping into the door framing, causing a loud bang. Steve, turns around, suddenly covering up with the shirt that is in his hand and turning red.

Bucky stumbles through an apology. “I am so sorry…sorry…I…uh...” before just running out of the room like an embarrassed school girl. 

Smooth Barnes. He thinks to himself as he slumps down on the couch. He doesn’t know why he got so flustered, it's not like he hasn’t seen Steve naked before, changing around each other all the time as kids. Well, until his dad said they were too old to be getting dressed around each other. That was also the same time his dad had told him that they were too old to be “hugging like that”, too old to be holding hands, “Boys your age don’t need to be that affectionate with their friends'' and “Do you want folks to think you are a pansy?” Bucky closes his eyes, unsuccessfully trying to rid his mind of that memory. He thanks god that his dad never found out how he really felt for his best friend. Not that Steve felt that back, so nothing happened but still. Steve was just a good guy. He sits and tries not to drown in his thoughts. 

~

Steve can’t believe Bucky just walked in on him like this. He feels so unattractive, so weak, and sickly. His mom had told him once that he was just a "late bloomer, but he was still a very handsome person that any girl would be "lucky to have", a sentiment that Bucky would back her up on. He never believed them, and without the serum he would have never "bloomed." To be fair, he also didn’t want "any girl". He just wanted Bucky. And he knows Bucky is not checking him out, why would he be? But if Bucky were to see him naked, he would have preferred it would have been in his serum enhanced body, strong and not so fragile. 

He sighs to himself and goes back to what he was doing, looking for something, anything he could wear without it practically falling off him. It's hopeless, so he settles on a pair of boxers that happened to be too small prior to today, now having to roll the waistband to get them to stay up. As far as clothing though, he doesn’t even have a pair of sweatpants he could pull tight enough to prevent from falling off. He frowns to himself, knowing Bucky was a little smaller than him, not quite having the same muscle mass. Maybe he has at least a shirt he could wear and a pair of sweatpants he could pull tight. Bucky does have some pretty tight shirts he wears when he is working out. Steve begins automatically blushing, picturing the way they cling to his muscular chest after working out, before shaking his head back to the current moment.

Given the embarrassing situation that just occurred, he is a little apprehensive about asking. But he knows he has to, already feeling terribly cold in just these oversized boxers. He calls timidly from his room. "Buck?"

His voice snaps Bucky out of his thoughts, instinctively jumping to his feet to see what Steve needs. Walking in this time, he is met with Steve staring at the floor, obviously embarrassed, clad only in some comically large boxers and socks. He feels bad for his friend, who is clearly struggling with this. He tries to stay calm, not letting it show that he thinks Steve looks absolutely adorable...and fucking hot. 

Honestly though, Bucky has thought Steve has looked hot, both when he was skinny and when he was muscular, but he has always had a soft spot for his pre-serum appearance, loving how perfectly Steve fit under his arm when he used to pull him close "to keep him warm." He is also very careful about not staring down at the boxers, knowing from accidental glimpses when they lived together in the tiny one bedroom tenement, that even before the serum, Steve was packing a lot more than you would think by looking at him. Bucky had spent countless nights picturing what it would feel like if it was inside of him, ultimately just hurting himself more with fantasies that would never come true.

Realizing quickly that he had been standing there awkwardly in silence, Bucky speaks up. "Um, what did you need pal?"

Steve refuses to look at him, Bucky understanding that this is definitely pretty hard for him. The blonde shyly asks "Um...all my clothes are too big. And um...I know you wear a slightly smaller size. Do you have anything that is tight on you that I could wear?"

Bucky lets out a small huff from his nose, smiling as he says, "Sure thing, give me one moment." Without another word, Bucky turns around and walks out of the room towards his own. 

His thoughts have been in a constant struggle with themselves since this happened. He is worried beyond belief for Steve, and what this all means to him. Will he get sick again? Can he be changed back? Should he be changed back? Is it safe? But then a part of himself, a part that he hates, is so turned on by Steve right now, having not seen him like this in years. He is having feelings he has no right to have. He is always attracted to Steve (inside and out), it's always there, and punctuating all their interactions, even if Steve couldn't see it. He was head over heels for the man. But he hates that right now while Steve is in such emotional distress, that he had the nerve to still let his head wander into fantasies. He is appalled by himself and his fucked-up head.

As he reminds himself of his continued shortcomings, he grabs his tightest pair of pants, a pair of compression running leggings, the ones he usually wears underneath some of his other pants. He hopes the stretchiness of them means they are small enough to fit on Steve. He grabs a t-shirt he recently got that is too tight on him, never wearing it but buying it at a yard sale because he had to have it. It's a little embarrassing though, pretty sure Steve has not even seen it before. It was a Captain America shirt from the 80s with a fade shield across the front of it. Bucky had tried it on once, though it was too small for him to even justify it as a workout top.

He anxiously walks back to Steve’s room, trying to make up a lie about the shirt other than "I like it because it makes me think of you and sometimes I take it with me on missions so I can pretend you are with me." Luckily when he hands Steve the clothes, Steve only raises his brow for a second, before smiling and nodding in gratitude for the clothes. Bucky sees himself out Steve could get dressed. 

After a little bit, Steve joins him out into the living room. Bucky has to hide a smile when he sees Steve in his clothes. The shirt is still too big for Steve and he can tell the pants must be pulled up high above his waist. Steve chooses not to acknowledge it, opting instead to sit down on the couch next to Bucky.

Steve doesn’t want things to be weird. Today has been weird enough, and the last thing he wants right now is his best friend being freaked out around him too. Steve, in the most casual voice he could muster says “Want to order a pizza and watch a movie?” His blue eyes stare, waiting as Bucky turns to look at him.

He simply replies “Sounds good, Stevie. I can call and you pick out the movie?” Steve nods before bending down to look at their collection of VHS tapes (they like those better than a million different streaming services.) He listens as Bucky orders, as he grabs their copy of Snow White. It always serves as a comfort, something connected to their time. He and Bucky went and seen it in the theater. Bucky had secretly saved a little extra to take Steve. Steve cherishes that memory, one of many.

Bucky for his part does everything in his power to not steal a glimpse of Steve’s ass in those leggings, scolding himself when he does anyways. Little does he know; Steve always takes any opportunity he can to check Bucky out. 

Once the pizza arrives, they settle onto the couch, and watch the movie. The pizza box starts between them, on the middle cushion as they eat. But halfway through the movie, Bucky can see Steve is shivering, the apartment still too cold for him and his body, that was lacking the ability to properly circulate his blood. He says quietly “Stevie…do you…” he blushes, embarrassed for what he is about to ask, turning his cheeks pink. He reminds himself that it is for Steve’s good. He continues. “Do you want to…cuddle?” Steve gives him a questioning look, so he quickly adds. ‘Because you're cold. I can tell you are shivering, man. Like when we were kids, you can steal my body heat. I’m basically a human radiator.” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

But Steve, regardless, looks anxious as he tentatively nods, moving the pizza box to the floor as he scoots closer, moving very close to Bucky. He looks expectantly at the bigger man to raise his arm so he can press against him, hoping he doesn’t come off as desperate and weak. But Bucky smiles as he obliges, lifting his arm and pulling Steve to his side, arm fitting perfectly around him, like Bucky was made just for Steve. He wants to melt into the feeling. He wants Bucky to never let go.

Steve is careful to keep looking forward, to not let himself get distracted and drawn in by his friend. But it is hard. He has been in love with Bucky since he was 14 years old. He always walked a thin line between appreciating Bucky’s touch as a way to get warm, like when he was sick, or in the one bedroom tenement they were living in together didn’t have proper heat, and loving Bucky's touch as something more. Just wanting to feel Bucky's skin on his, even if it was a selfish little fantasy. But he always craved that touch. Even little things like when he would put his hand reassuringly on his shoulder, or when Bucky would playfully throw his arms around Steve.

But he noticed that since the serum, Bucky had touched him less. Less casually pulling him in by the shoulders and just walking with his arm around him, or climbing in bed to keep him warm. Obviously, he didn’t need that second one any more, but he was desperate for something. Anything. Sometimes he would just squeeze Bucky’s  shoulder, or pat him on the back just to feel him. Sometimes when Bucky had a nightmare, Steve would hold him, but that was only because Bucky was scared. No joy in that touch. On rare occasions  they would hug, and if he thought about it too long, he could swear something more was there.

Lost in his thoughts, he does not realize the movie has ended until Bucky yawns, snapping him out of his head. "Hey, Stevie I think I'm going to hit the hay. You should too, we are going down to see Bruce and Pepper early tomorrow. Night, man." Steve is still staring ahead but he feels Bucky start to untangle himself from him. As Bucky stands up, Steve does not want the sensation to end, not wanting to lose the touch he desperately needs, the only silver lining of this whole ordeal. 

Without putting any thought into it, he reaches for the bottom hem of Bucky's shirt as the other man had turned to walk away. Bucky freezes as Steve hurriedly lets go of his shirt, feeling ridiculous. Steve whispers in a voice that is barely audible. "Can I sleep with you? I'm cold." He feels guilty, knowing he isn't saying the whole truth. He is cold but could have done with a pile of blankets, they aren't in the depression anymore with only one blanket each. This was 2024 and they are way better off now. But he wasn't ready to lose Bucky's touch again.

Bucky clears his throat, suddenly hard to breathe, lump forming before he can swallow it down. Steve wants to sleep with him and Bucky wants this so bad. But he has to remind himself that this is for Steve to stay warm, not because he wanted him. His love fogged mind coupled with his own self-dislike, prevented him from putting together that Steve had blankets to keep him warm. He looks back to Steve, whose face seems torn by something,  maybe guilt? Bucky didn’t want his friend to feel guilty so he finally replies. "Of course, Stevie."

Steve’s eyes light up for a moment before he reminds himself not to be so…obvious. Bucky thinks he saw something but plays it off as Steve being relieved over Bucky not making this situation any more awkward. He watches Steve smile shyly as he gets off the couch silently, ready to follow him to his bedroom, so he leads the way.

Once in there, Steve just crawls into bed like it was nothing. He figured he might as well rip the bandage off and just do it. He stays completely dressed because he really was freezing in the apartment. Bucky on the other hand was extremely warm, not used to sleeping with the heat on so high. He doesn’t know how uncomfortable Steve would be if he slept in his boxers but decides to do it anyways. It would be more suspicious of him not to. He knows Steve isn’t dumb and has to realize that he would be extremely warm in these temperatures. 

So, Bucky slides out of his sweatpants and T-shirt, throwing them into his hamper. Steve tries his hardest not to watch, turning on his side to avert his eyes. He pretends to be preparing to fall asleep, but, in reality, he is attempting to bargain with his heart to not pound right out of his chest and fly away. They haven’t slept together in more than 80 years, not since before the war. 

While Steve is busy forcing himself to pretend to try and fall asleep, Bucky sneaks a look over at the blanket, letting himself smile at the lump under the hidden beneath, blonde hair peeking out. He makes his way over to the other side of his full-sized bed and slides in under the covers. It feels like the most normal thing in the world, like things are more normal than they have been in a long time. He reaches over, turning out the light, before scooting close to Steve. Again, he reminds himself that he is just helping him stay warm. He pulls Steve’s back against his chest, wrapping his arm over his hip. For a moment, Bucky wonders if he is over doing it, if this is too far for Steve. 

Steve forgets how to breathe for a moment when he feels himself pressed against Bucky’s body so tightly. He worries he may have an asthma attack. He doesn’t remember them ever being so close, well when they were awake that is. Usually they would only get like this in their sleep. Steve remembers one particular time when he was 19, when he woke up in this position, with the still sleeping brunette’s morning wood pressed against his ass. He had to force himself out of bed and into a cold shower after that. All of this is to say that his position really did something to him, and it took all his energy to keep his breath steady. 

They lay in the dark, quietly like this for a while. For all of Steve’s worry, and all of Bucky’s self-doubt over this, both men were content. Both men lie together, keeping their secrets, but cherishing this moment. They lay for a long while before it is obvious that neither man is sleeping. It may be subtle, but it was impossible to not feel the electricity that filled the air around them and every space in between them. It was an energy that has been there for a while.  It was something that should have been obvious from the start if it weren’t for the fact that both of them were painfully oblivious. 

Steve shifts in the bed, turning so he is facing Bucky. Even in the dark, Bucky could see the light blue tones that make up Steve's eyes. He would be lying if he didn't admit they were the most beautiful things he has ever seen. He has been around the world, has seen so many beautiful things, He has seen sparkling oceans, the large majestic sweeping expanses that surrounded Wakanda, tall, purple mountains throughout Europe, but nothing he could think of could make him feel the way he felt whenever he stared into Steve's eyes.

There are some things he has never admitted to Steve about his time as the Winter Soldier. One of these things being that every so often, he was able to bust through, have a moment of clarity before frozen again. In those moments of clarity, he would think of these eyes, of being home.  Staring into Steve's eyes, whether Steve was hulking and muscular, or skinny and small, felt like home to him.

Seeing him like this, back to the way he was prior to war has reminded Bucky that beneath all the bravado and responsibility that came with Captain America, he was still Steve. His Stevie. He knew that though, but he has been so wrapped up in guilt for all Steve has done for him, as well as countless atrocities he has committed as the Winter Soldier, he had refused to think about it. Refused to get comfortable. Refused to just be with Steve, always feeling less then, undeserving. 

Steve was like the sun, bright and powerful. Bucky had always been content to be sucked into Steve’s gravitational pull. He felt like Steve was the reason he existed, giving him life. He was just a planet who was lucky enough to be pulled in by the sun. But the sun didn’t need the planet that revolved around it, and he always felt that at some level, Steve didn’t need him. He was afraid that if he tried to be more than a planet, wanting more from the sun, Steve could easily destroy him, reject him. 

But Steve has been there all along for him, never changing. Bucky had fallen all those years ago, losing his sun, ripping through space aimlessly. The sun had fought, got himself trapped in ice in the name of his planet. Waking up in the future, getting new planets, people finally seeing what Bucky had seen all along in Steve. But as soon as Steve saw that his planet was alive, he was willing to rip his new galaxy apart like it was nothing, to pull his first little planet back in. 

Steve had always loved Bucky, and Bucky had been so wrapped up in the fear of losing his sun, that he never let himself appreciate that. Maybe...maybe it was okay for Bucky to want more out of their friendship...because maybe Steve wanted more.

He doesn't know what makes him do it, but he reaches towards Steve's face, and rests his flesh hand on the golden-haired man's face. Both lay perfectly still for a few seconds before Steve closes his and lets out an anguished sigh. When they open back up, Bucky sees a tear running down Steve’s face, worry is coating his features, his brow scrunched up in a way that Bucky just wants to reach up and smooth out. In a soft voice, the brunette asks "Stevie....what is it...."

Steve closes his eyes again, taking a pained sigh as he moves his own hand softly over the hand resting on his face, doing his best to hold on for a moment longer before he comes clean. "I don't want you to hate me..."

Bucky feels his chest tensing up, not knowing what could have prompted Steve to say that. "What makes you think I could ever hate you? I don't think that is possible. " Bucky replies truthfully.

"It’s...just..." Steve takes a deep breath, before sitting up and staring down at Bucky. Bucky frowns at the loss of contact before sitting up as well, facing the blonde who looked like he might break if Bucky stared too hard. He continues, "It's just, I didn’t need you to keep me warm, Buck."

"What?" Bucky stares back, genuine  confusion on his face.

"We have plenty of blankets now, I would have been fine in my own bed. But since this happened, earlier I hated it. I hated feeling small again, weak and sickly. But...there was some good. You...you were holding onto me again, like you would when we were younger….and I missed feeling your arms around me. " Steve is blushing like crazy. "And when we were on the couch, it felt so good for you to be holding onto me, and so I lied. I didn’t want it to end...so I told you I needed you to keep me warm. I'm so sorry, Buck. You must think I'm a freak." Steve takes a deep breath, steadying himself, before pulling the covers off, readying himself to stand up. He stutters "I'm going to go to my own room now…I'd appreciate it if you never bring this up again. I am so sorry."

Bucky is confused, trying to put together what is happening. Before he could respond, Steve had shuffled out of his room, leaving him alone.

~

Steve drops onto his bed, mortified at himself. He really was pathetic, too scared to even stay and find out the fall out of what he has done. He just admitted to his best friend that he lied to him and used him all because of he wanted to be touched. He wishes he didn’t have this weird crush on him. But he does and for him it has always been Bucky, and probably will always be. It wasn't fair to push that on Bucky, though. He buries himself in blankets, dreading what the morning will bring. 

He lays there for a few minutes, mauling over what will happen. Will Bucky move out? Will he not talk to anymore? Did he just mess up everything? All the worse scenarios play in his mind like a horror movie. He feels a tear run down his face and he just lets it happen. Soon tears are covering his pillow,the dam broken, his body shaking. He feels like he will never stop, terrified he just lost his best friend.

He is so wrapped up in his own mess, he doesn't hear the door opening. But then he feels the nattress shift as someone gets inside the covers on the other side. He doesn't turn his head, afraid that he is just imagining it, that he is going to lose whatever is there if he looks. But then he hears "Hey Stevie…I'm cold."

Steve’s head is spinning, what is going on. He finally gets the nerve to turn around,  finding a beautiful brunette, his Bucky, smiling at him. "Buck….what are you doing?"

He softly replies "I just told you, I'm cold and need someone to cuddle with, is that okay?"

Steve can’t help the smile that comes to his face as the last few rebel tears fall. Something tells him that the shirtless man in front of him was in no way cold, but he plays along. "Yea, its alright. Will alway be alright…."

With that, Bucky pulls Steve into his arms, Steve’s head falling onto his chest as the other man holds him close. Both men able to fiy fall asleep.

Maybe not quite a confession yet, but its babysteps. As long as they keep moving forward,they could take their time getting there.

[diosaadivina]

You & I : A Tokka Short

(Legend of Korra, Book One, Yakone’s trial flashback)

They’d done it. Yakone was finally under arrest and his day in court was set in just a few days. 

“I’ve beaten every trumped-up judge you yahoos have brought against me... and I’ll beat this one too.” Toph knew not this time, this time would be different because he, Sokka, was back as head councilman. 

After an active and exciting arrest, Toph spends the rest of her night at her apartment with Lin. Having their usual tea after dinner, they acknowledge familiar footsteps at the door with their seismic sense. 

“Sokka’s coming!” Toph abruptly states as she sits up excitingly from her relaxed state. She couldn’t help but smile as she remembered the exact reaction she experienced all those years ago during the war. When she realized just how complete and at ease she felt with Sokka’s presence, and how incomplete she felt without it. 

Now, at forty years old, she still gets as excited as she did when she was twelve.

“How are my two favorite earthbenders this evening?” Sokka asks as he makes his way in the room. Lin runs straight into his arms while Toph makes her way to greet him the same. Despite secretly living together for a year now, this was still one of her favorite moments of the day. 

“Mom finally did it!” Lin states as Sokka picks her up, “Her and uncle Aang finally caught the bad guy!!” Despite already knowing the good news, Sokka couldn’t help but join in on Lin’s excitement. 

Toph reassures, “Remember Lin we just arrested him, once he’s proven guilty in court, then this nightmare will really be over.”

Sokka knew the day would come when justice would be served, and he was ecstatic to be the one to determine Yakone’s fate in just a few days. He places his hand onto the small of Toph’s back and moves it gently up and down, a gesture of reassurance that he will make life in Republic City for everyone - and especially for themselves - much more peaceful. They have hidden their relationship from the public for over a year, awaiting for this moment that will bring more ease into their lives. 

After tucking Lin into bed, Toph makes her way into the bedroom and finds Sokka making his way to the bed. 

“There’s something I need to tell you Sokka...” Toph exhales as she sits down on his side of the bed, she feels her own heartbeat begin to accelerate. Sokka notices and distinguishes her facial expression right away, she’s worried. 

“Toph, if this is about the upcoming trial, you have nothing to worry about..” He instantly grabs her hand closest to him, “You and I both know how hard you’ve been busting it out there trying to stop him and his plays-” 

“It’s not about the trial or about Yakone...” Toph lets out a sigh and she takes in a deep breath. Sokka, now concerned, instantly reaches for her other hand, uncertain of what could be worrying her. 

Toph’s heart is practically beating out from her robe as she breathes out, “Sokka, I-I’m pregnant.”

Sokka felt his heart stop for a second, which felt more like an hour. She’s preg- pregnant?...we- we’re pregnant? Toph breaks the silence as she literally only feels his heart rate begin to increase, not feeling the butterflies in his stomach and happiness consuming him internally. 

“I know this is horrible timing, with current events and Republic City’s most important trial coming up...I just couldn’t go on without telling you.” She professes, her voice begins to shake, “I-I’m so sorry this happened Sokka, I-” Sokka cuts her off by bringing her into his arms, holding tightly onto her. He is filled with so much emotion that his tears begin to stream down his face and onto her shoulders. 

“Don’t, you dare apologize..” Sokka murmurs. Toph, now feeing and understanding his reaction, closes her eyes as she lets out a sigh as well as her own tears of happiness. Moments pass as they’re still tightly concealed in eachothers arms, taking in this moment together. A baby, they simultaneously thought to themselves. In times of uncertainty, they somehow knew that everything was going to be alright because they had eachother.

(Day of Yakone’s trial)

Toph and Sokka secretly meet in his office before making their way into the courtroom. 

“I can’t believe we’ve made it here, together...” Sokka says as they holds hands. “All this time we, especially you, have been trying to put Yakone in his place. Now I am here to ensure that justice is done and that Republic City sleeps soundly from now on. Not to mention, that we move onto this new chapter of our lives in peace.” Sokka places his hand onto Toph’s still flat stomach, trying to assure her and their unborn child, safety. 

“I think you should know by now that you and I make a great team Sokka.” Toph affirms as she gently squeezes his hands. 

“You’re right, history has shown that you and I - are invincible..” He can’t help but recall all those years ago when they were able to stop those fleet of firenation airships. “...I know I am invincible, as long as I am with you.” 

Toph brings herself into his arms, “Must you have to be extra mushy before we  step out to probably the most important moment of our careers? Also, it doesn't help that I am more emotional these days.” She says as she tries to not tear up. She raises her head up to him and Sokka places his hand onto her cheek, “But I dont care, I cant wait to hear you kill it out there, councilman. And I can’t wait for us to live our lives.”

“Me too..” Sokka leans down and gently places a kiss onto her forehead, “Now lets go and serve some justice!” 

“Councilman Sokka will now deliver the verdict.”

Sokka opens his eyes and lets out a breath, “In my years, I’ve encountered people born with rare and unique bending abilities. I once bested a man with my trusty boomerang who was able to firebend, with his mind...” Despite mentioning another unique bender or bending ability, he finds the moment to praise his favorite unique bender of all time. “...Why, even metalbending was considered impossible for all of history - until our esteemed Cheif of Police, Toph Beifong, single-handedly developed the skill....” Toph can’t help but enjoy the spotlight for a moment as never gets tired of Sokka showing his admiration of her abilities, it was their thing. “...The overwhelming amount of testimonial evidence has convinced this council that Yakone is one of these unique benders and he’s exploited his ability to commit these heinus crimes... We find Yakone, guilty of all charges and sentence him to life in prison.” As soon as Sokka slams the gavel, he can’t help but feel proud of himself by his improvement in public speaking. Finally, it was over. Yakone had lost and this nightmare was over, or so they thought. 

It all happened so fast. Before the next steps could be taken, Yakone had unleashed his sinister ability of mind-controlled bloodbending. With Sokka naturally being his first target, it took a moment before the room was able to comprehend what was unfolding in front of them. Toph felt her heart stop when she felt Sokka’s desperation, him being succumbed to Yakone’s evil power. She’s never witnessed Sokka in this state before or any bloodbending in person for that matter. Once she caught onto what was going on and that the entire council was now victimized, she tried to stop him but all it took was one look from him for her to feel the wrath of his power. 

NO! Sokka yelled to himself in his head as he watched this nightmare unfold in front of his eyes. Toph! She’s never experienced this before..., he thought to himself. He was so sure she would have never go through this horror, ever. And now that she was, in this malicious way, he felt so helpless. I- I need to do something. His first instinct was to always protect her when she was at her most vulnerable, and now that she was, he couldn’t do anything but watch. 

This- this can’t be happening right now. I really... hate this... Toph barley thinks to herself. No! I- I can’t let him free, she says in her head as she realizes his plan. Then, in an instant, she becomes completely blind. Yakone progressed his control over Toph by making her reach for the keys to his escape and bringing her towards him, effortlessly. Toph recalls never feeling this scared since her last traumatic experience hanging on the side of the airship all those years ago. At the very least, she had Sokka and his words to prep her for what was to come, he was her sight in that moment. Here, she didn’t know what to expect, her fate was literally in the hands of Yakone. That wasn’t even the scariest and worst part of all this, she was no longer fearing for herself but for someone else.

The baby!! Sokka thinks to himself. His strife amplified immensely as the thought of his unborn child came to his head. His heart felt like it was slowly being ripped out in front of him as he watched the monster bring Toph towards him. No no no, please- the baby...let them go NOW!! He can only manage to say in his head. As soon as Yakone sets himself free, he proceeds to knock out nearly everyone in the courtroom. Sokka really felt his heart stop as he literally saw his life flash in front of his eyes and collapse onto the ground - unconscious. 

He knew that him and Aang would be the last ones standing due to their experience with bloodbending decades ago. Yet, his extra time didn’t last long as he began to feel himself slowly fade away. His last image before falling unconscious was exchanging a look with Aang then, onto his heart, laying out cold- in front of him on the floor.

Moments passed until Sokka regained consciousness, he was the first one awake. Instinctively, he ran towards Toph who was still knocked out on the ground. He quickly took her into his arms and couldn’t help but search for a pulse. He didn’t want to imagine the worse, but from what he witnessed, she took it the hardest. Despite being one of the strongest person he knows, he didn’t know how her body would have responded - especially since she was pregnant. His hand moves towards her lower abdomen, hoping that their unborn child was unharmed. He can’t ignore the immense guilt beginning to consume him. 

A few more moments pass and Toph begins to wake. Sokka watches as she slowly opens her eyes and moves her hands to where Sokka has his placed. Toph seems to hold her breath but lets out a relieved sigh as she places her hand there. Sokka seems to read her expression clear as day, and they were okay. 

“The baby is okay, I can feel it’s heartbeat..” Toph reassures to Sokka, she seems to have read his mind. “Toph-...” Sokka can’t seem to put his words together, he was still trying to recover from this scare. Toph reaches and touches his face, “I’m okay Sokka, we’re okay. Man, that really is the worst feeling in the world.” He brings her into a tight hug and whispers, “I love you.”

Toph answers, “I love you Sokka.” In that moment she didn’t think about where Yakone was, Aang was gone too and she knew Aang well enough to know that he’d for sure stop him. She only cared that the life growing inside of her was still there, as well as Sokka’s and her own well-being. 

Sokka says into her ear, “See? I told you we’re invincible.” Toph smiles and responds, “We are, together.”

[blairwaldcrf]

my boyfriend's girlfriend- gossip girl

Summary: nate/dan/blair drabbles

i will always blame (with love) @bisexualdanhumphrey for my recent agenda

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read and comment here

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When Nate is asked if he's had his first kiss at 8 years old, his father steps in and lies. Of course, haven't you seen him and Blair?  

In actuality Howard Archibald had caught Nate "practicing" kissing with Chuck in the toy room just a week ago. It was Chuck that had given the easy lie about it that way, and Nate didn’t understand why, but pretending they're practicing for girls makes his father happy so he doesn't disagree.

I'm just playing a pretend father and practicing for future girls, Nate tells the people who ask why he spends so much  time with Dan Humphrey and his new baby. After all, he doesn't want to come out as bisexual when he and Dan are only barely finding a new rhythm as they move from friends, to lovers, to roommates, and by extension of that and Milo, co-parents… This, smiling as he watches Dan cave into sleep while still in the middle of holding up and giving Milo his bottle, deserves more than another snarky Gossip Girl scandal post.

….

At first glance after having kissed Dan, he had thought he was going to resent Milo. Surely now that Dan had a child, Nate's timing was off and Dan would give him a sad "sorry, but..." He starts to until the second Milo cries for a bottle but Dan can't quite make it one handedly in the wake of Georgina's very recent departure and so Nate is handed the baby once again.

He fumbles for the words to tell Dan to wait, he'll make the bottle, he's bad with kids-- but then Milo stops crying the second Nate turns him around and offers a panicked smile.

Dan backs out of the kitchen immediately. "Do that again."

"What, smile?" Nate asked incredulously.

"Whatever you just did," Dan repeats so desperately it's almost comical.

So he does it again, and when Milo gives the sweetest laugh only a baby can give, Nate's heart melts.

Finally , he thinks to himself before he can review the implications later that night before falling asleep. Finally something meaningful I'm good at . Dan is ecstatic that the cure to Milo's colic seems to be Nate comforting his son (if not only for sleep) and Milo is the child who depends on Nate's smile in such an innocent way. How had his mother and family expected him to use a fake smile for cameras and politics when the only one who truly cared about the way his lips curled could be cradled in two arms?

The first time he picks Milo up correctly on instinct he feels like he's five again, showing off to his mother that he can ride without training wheels. "Dan. Dan! Look!"

Said brunette gave him a quizzical look at first, in the middle of folding laundry, but then laughs freely upon realizing. "Finally."

Milo coos at the sound laughter like always, and Nate's smile grows even further.

….

When Dan & Blair first accidentally meet at some film showing at the forum that Nate was more than happy to babysit Milo for than attend, Nate hears all night about how Blair's opinions on the entire movie are either spot on or completely ridiculous. The volley back and forth as Dan describes them to him in turn, "I don't get how she can agree with that when…", "Can you believe she…" makes him raise an eyebrow, but he lets the passionate rant subside and instead orders dinner. Something light for the summer. More movies are seen, sometimes with Nate attending as well when Rufus can babysit. Blair insists on sitting in the very middle of the seating so she can be dead straight to the screen, and then steals Nate or Dan’s popcorn even when they try to get her one of her own. Summer turns out better than expected like this.

Then Dan complains about Blair almost every night the first week of interning at W Magazine, and Nate has to remind him repeatedly that they're friends now. Dan needs the opportunity to intern so he'll have a passing job soon to afford Milo, though, so the pleas go unheard. When Nate bothers to drop in on Blair and ask her to create some peace treaty, it’s useless. Dan pulls a Blair and Blair pulls a Dan, but in the end it’s clear that their budding friendship is heading into better territory than it ever had been.

It's a long year of Dan & Nate trying desperately to avoid the schemes of their friends, taking in turns who had to babysit Milo. By the end of spring, Blair is engaged to a prince and Nate almost feels relieved. He'd never say so to Dan.

The engagement doesn't last anyway. Blair is pregnant and scared, and by the end of the month when Blair finds out that the baby is Chuck’s, she moves into the Brooklyn loft and away from the Upper East Side at Dan’s request. Nate can’t get the image of a broken window and Blair fleeing after the attack at the penthouse out of his mind.

….

“Are we sure murder isn’t on the table?” Dan asks angrily, staring down at the computer Jenny is working on beside Blair. The two women’s apologies and forgiveness had been strained and their being in the same room without killing each other was tenuous, but in the end they were both victims of Chuck and that bonded them more than split them up when all was brought to light.

That, and Dan refused to let Blair continue to hide in the Brooklyn loft without a full confrontation about Jenny.

“Dan.” Nate chastises, head pointing to Blair. With a small sigh, he apologizes, but he doesn’t look any less moody. There had never been good blood between Dan and Chuck, for good reason, but now that he had found out that Chuck had yet again assaulted someone, and  Blair at that, he was vengeful. Luckily, Dan wasn’t the kind to hire a hitman.

He was the type to request help with a takedown from Jenny, though, the second Chuck tried to go after Blair legally over a child that’s not even born.

Milo seems to be the one who wins over Jenny for the takedown, because when the blonde looks over at Blair and her swollen stomach and sorrowful face, she cracks. “I can file charges against him, but we have to do this together, Blair. I’m serious.”

“I am too.” Blair says, tears in her eyes as she holds her belly tight. “I have to be.”

Jenny nods. They speak to the lawyers and detectives in secret. Even Serena adds to the charges, an unknown attempt until the chefs at the hotel back her up as witnesses. Nate has to hold Dan back, remind him that he could lose Milo to Georgina if he does something stupid, but Nate has to admit he wants to punch Chuck bloody himself after reading the full testimonies from the women he was closest to.

He had known Chuck was a mess. He hadn’t realized how many messes he had made, and for that Nate hated himself. Surely he could have stopped some of these. He should have held his once best friend accountable so much earlier, could have thrown away some childhood crush. Nate is complicit in ways he thinks Dan should hate him for. Dan only shakes his head and mentions that he was the one who told Jenny not to press charges against the kid of a millionaire who would get off in seconds when they were all so young. Nate pretends he isn’t crying later that night and Dan does the same.

When Chuck is put into prison, Nate isn’t naive enough to breathe in relief, but he gets close.

….

"It's poetic." Blair is smiling softly at him in a way she hasn't since they were young and she thought he could save her from their parents. "You being so good with him."

Nate raises an eyebrow as he rockets Milo, but he thinks he knows what she means, and after all these years of knowing her, he's right.

"After everything your father put you through… you just shine at being one despite him." Blair offered. "Humphrey had love and a mother who couldn't hire nannies, he was born for this. But you…" She trails off after waving a hand at all of him and the way Milo is sleeping so softly on his chest.

"Thanks, Blair." He tells her, hoping his voice sounds even.

Dan has said as much to him, as had Rufus, Jenny who was back in the city to be a happy aunt, and Lily. The compliments from those three were lovely and meant the world, but they didn't carry the same weight that Blair's did.

Blair, who had been there in the lows of his father's then secret drug addiction and seen the way "The Captain" yelled at Nate in emotional tirades. She'd seen the aftermath of physical confrontations, however subtle. A bruised wrist from being dragged out of a room or a bruised arm from being hit when found smoking weed. Blair, who had all the love of an Upper East Side father and the crashing realization when that wasn't enough.

Biting his lip, because if he lets the worried sigh drag out of him he might wake up Milo, he says, "I still have 18 years and more to mess up with a kid of my own."

"You won't," she says, without the kind tone that Dan had used when saying the same thing. This was bossy, hard, certain. "You'll refuse to as much as I'll refuse to let you. We promised that, remember?"

And they had, once, on the tail end of fourteen when Serena's father had left again, Blair had been throwing up food for what would then be the first time, and Nate tired from having stayed up all night comforting his mother Anne. We'll never be them. We'll warn each other the second we have to.

But who had thought they would need a warning before their thirties had even begun?

"Yeah. I remember."

She gives him another quick smile, one to hide what was now pain and worry coming up as she stared down at her unborn child.

"You won't be your mother either, Blair," he tells her. Trying to get her to smile, he added, "Eleanor would never do something like step in Brooklyn."

"I don't know," she says, her lips curling mischievously for a second. "I'm also not living with straight men."

He laughs and so does she, and they keep the worry about Chuck wrapped away.

…

"Will you stop leaving the shower like that?" Dan snaps at Blair one of the mornings that Nate has slept over (more and more living here like a step-parent, but that was a different conversation). "How many times do we have to tell you we aren't gay and it is inappropriate."

"I thought you said you wanted me to be comfortable here, Humphrey." Blair replies with an all too silky tone. Nate rolls his eyes at them from the comfortable pillow for not the first time and gets out of bed to stop the impending fight that will likely wake Milo up, right as Blair adds, "If it makes you uncomfortable maybe that's a problem for you and Nate, not me."

"Blair, I swear to God--,"

"Dan. Chill." Nate interrupts. They both turn to see him in the doorway, Dan looking chastised and a rather naked Blair failing at looking guilty. "And Blair, come on. You know what you're doing. Either stop or be honest."

The fake sheepish expression on her face gives way to pursed lips and a dainty glare. "I don't know what you're talking about. Regardless, I'm late to classes. See you both later." And she leaves the living room to get dressed with Dan glaring fiercely at her back and Nate wanting to throw a pillow at him.

Mumbling something about checking on Milo, Dan leaves the room also and Nate wonders how on earth he can force the two to sit down and talk without one of them bolting. How on earth did Serena put up with them?

….

He manages to pin Blair down first, which quite possibly was a miracle with how desperately she had been avoiding him. They’re both at a party Dan hadn’t wanted to attend and he catches her in a side room where she had run away from Serena. Nate wasn’t quite sure what their drama was, but he didn’t care to ask.

“Blair, we need to talk.”

“Now?” she asks, pouting. She’s sitting on a chair and rubbing her ankles, looking very much pregnant. “Can’t it wait when I’m at home and out of these heels? My feet are absolutely disgusting right now.”

“Now,” he reaffirms. “Admit you’re attracted to Dan and not just trying to find someone safe like I’m sure you’ve convinced yourself is all you’re doing.”

Her entire demeanor changes immediately. “Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said.” Nate says. “Dropping towels, leaving out lingerie, your usual scheming.”

“Dan loves you,” she says softly in return, shaking her head. “I’m just a pregnant single mother in my twenties who wants to feel sexy.”

…

One night, in the chaos of their soap-opera worthy lives, Nate comes home to the loft-- which is such a weird thing to think of as his home-- and sees Dan and Blair perfectly cuddling against each other on the couch asleep. There’s something innocent about it, tissue box near as if Blair had been crying, but both of them had little time to rest between Milo and Blair’s complaints that sleeping with a pregnant belly was impossible at third trimester. Nate doesn’t want to think on the feelings rising up in him at this sight-- there’s too much to even find a place to start-- so he thinks of how they’d react to seeing themselves so vulnerable with each other. Likely Nate will have a wholesome picture that he can pretend is only blackmail and not, in fact, a picture of his entire world with only one baby missing.

Snapping the picture with flash on wakes the two up, but is completely worth it as they groggily catch sight of him and jump apart from each other.

“ Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald ,” Blair angrily snaps, “Delete that now .”

Dan starts laughing and Blair turns on him. “You want that leaked to Gossip Girl?”

“Nate has never sent in a thing.” Dan replies, chuckling in between his response. “I’m just amused you went full on Waldorf mother mode.”

Blair’s glare is fantastic as she gasps, causing Nate to laugh even harder.

“I did not .”

“I’m sorry, did you or did you not just use his full name?” Dan laughs, an eyebrow raised. His challenge seems to make her furious, so very temperamental lately.

“It was an instinct brought on by the delirium of waking up next to you,” she argues huffily, and Dan rolls his eyes in a way that makes Nate crack.

“God, just kiss.”

All three of them still. Nothing can be heard except for the classical music coming from the nursery in the other room. Nate tries to berate himself when he sees Dan’s face fall into guilt and hurt. Nate tries to make up for it. “I didn’t mean it like that, I love you--,” worst time to admit it “--but you clearly love Blair too.”

“I--,” Dan falters, caught blank at the attention. “Nate, that’s not what’s going on. I love you--,”

“I know.” Nate replies, all too aware of how Blair looks ready to run.

Dan is still fumbling, turning to Blair with a lost expression that turns firm as he says, “Look, you deserve someone whose sole attention is you, Blair. I don’t fit that. I don’t want you to feel like you’re in some position that your mother--,”

“Humphrey, shut up,” Blair demands. “I get to decide what I deserve and want, no one else. You should have learned that by now. You too, Nate.”

Which he should have, of course, because now Blair is sitting up straight and in command of the entire room like she’s the royalty she almost became. Nate nods and wonders what the hell Blair was going to say now.

“I’ll admit that I have been incredibly blessed to have both of you in my life, but I am not going to come between--,”

“You won’t,” Nate announces. “If you want this, all of this, you won’t be in between anything.”

Staring straight at him, there’s a searching expression in Dan’s narrowed brown eyes and furrowed brow. Nate knows he can spot appreciation and relief, but he also knows that the writer will definitely overthink this for the next month or so. Still, when Blair hesitantly looks to Dan, the brunette nods.

Nate is glad the classical music covers the sounds the happy three of them make that night.

…..

[hallowxiu]

Are You an Angel? No, Wait.

Pairing: Lucifer x gn!mc

Word Count: 1.7k

Genre: idk fam it’s funny i guess lmao

Summary: You’re determined to win Lucifer over with at least one pickup line. It doesn’t bode over well.

A/N: I got this idea from prompt 293 from the account Creative Writing Prompts :)

part one of the MC isn’t good at pick up lines series lol

You sat there with narrowed eyes, fingertips drumming along your thighs. You were in a council meeting with the other brothers, and while on a normal day, you’d be absolutely over the moon about this as it was a rare treat, you had some more… pressing issues to deal with. If pressing meant thinking up pickup lines to use on the head of the house, then yes, it was rather pressing. You see, earlier you had overheard Mammon and Asmodeus talking about how Lucifer hates pickup lines. That’s right, he hated them, and as someone who loved them, you just simply couldn’t let that go. No one can hate pickup lines, they just haven’t heard a good one yet. Besides, Lucifer seemed like the type to secretly enjoy a good pickup line or two; you’d just have to get it out of him.

So, that’s why you were currently scheming away in the middle of a council meeting. Would anyone be mad if they found out you weren’t paying attention? Maybe Lucifer, but there was barely a moment where he wasn’t angry over something. You didn’t think the others would fuss over it too much, maybe Barbatos, but would Diavolo get angry? Maybe at first, but if you explain to him what you planned on doing then he’d probably just join you.

There was another issue, however, one more pressing than the first. You weren’t good at pickup lines. You never have been, and you didn’t think there’d be a time where you ever would be. It was just a tragedy you’d have to live with. You know who was good at pickup lines though? Mammon. Instantly, your eyes land on Mammon who’s seated across the table from where you sat. Yes, you could get help from Asmodeus instead, but your goal wasn’t necessarily to seduce Lucifer, so Mammon would have to suffice for now. You’d get your hands on Diavolo later.

Sneakily, you pulled your D.D.D from your pocket and typed a brief message to the second oldest brother. You could hear his phone vibrate and with great interest you watched as he typed up a brief message.

Mammoney

What do ya want? Messagin’ me in the middle of a council meetin’, you want Lucifer to yell at us, is that it?

Then again, I guess ya just can’t go that long without talkin’ to THE Great Mammon, so I guess I can try to understand for ya sake.

You rolled your eyes from the context of the messages. It was tempting to just ignore him at that point-- you knew that would work him up more than anything else, however, you needed to set your pride aside for this one so you could get what you really wanted. And what you really wanted was to make Lucifer flustered. It would be a good pay off for everything you’d have to endure with Mammon, you just knew it.

Y/N

Gee, so glad you could put in the time for me.

I need your help. How do you feel about getting Lucifer flustered?

Wait, that sounds weird. Not in a weird way. Okay, wait, I’m not making it sound any better. Okay, I’m just going to throw it all out at once. I need help coming up with pickup lines to use on Lucifer. If you help me, I’ll do your homework for the next two months.

You looked back up just in time to see an eyebrow raise on Mammon’s face. You knew the offer would be tempting for him, after all, the demon hated doing his homework. You offered him a smile when you locked eyes and the second eldest sighed under his breath.

You couldn’t have been out of your seat fast enough when Diavolo ended the council meeting. You zoomed past the other brothers and practically tackled Mammon in the hallway as soon as you had the chance. “Jeez human, knock it off, will ya? Why are ya so excited about this anyway? Ya really wanna get to him that bad?” You lazily swatted at his arm before giving him the proper amount of personal space.

“I just think he hasn’t heard any good ones yet, and I’m going to change that.” You paused slightly before looking at the white haired man. “With your help, of course.” He only scoffed in response.

“Ya know ya could just look up pickup lines, right? Ya don’t really need my help for somethin’ like this.” Normally Mammon would be pretty ecstatic about you needing his help with something, so you assumed you were cutting into some of his after school plans. You huffed under your breath and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Do you want me to do your homework or not? Look, I can always just go to someone else for this. In fact, I’m sure one of your brothers would love to help, and for free, probably. I bet Levi has pickup lines for days.” You didn’t voice that they’d more than likely all be related to anime.

Mammon’s eye twitched, and your bait seems to have worked. “Alright, alright, look -- there’s no need-- you don’t need to get the others involved. I’m more than capable of this. I was practically born to give out pickup lines, ya know.” Weird flex, but okay. “Let’s just go before I lose interest.”

❀❀❀❀

“So? How are ya feelin’?” Mammon’s staring at you with what you can only label as a proud grin. It looked odd, especially since the two of you hadn’t even done anything yet. Honestly, you both only lounged around and watched movies while playing on your D.D.Ds. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to come out of this, and yet here you were, standing in front of Lucifer’s closed door.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Is all you could say before Mammon nearly broke down the door with his insistent knocking. Before you can react, he’s already disappeared down the hall, leaving you completely alone. Maybe you should have just gone to Diavolo.

The door swung open with an annoyed Lucifer glaring down at you. That’s right, Mammon did bang on the door a little hard. You sighed inwardly when realizing Mammon left you with an angry and disgruntled Lucifer. Sometimes you thought the second oldest really did want you dead. Your name falling from Lucifer’s lips is what brings you back to reality. Right. You had a mission to accomplish and you were going to achieve it, in one way or another. “Sorry for the loud knocking.” You decided apologizing first would be your best course of action. It seems to work too, if the small smile on Lucifer’s lips was anything to go by. He didn’t look happy by any means, but he didn’t look pissed either. You considered it a win. “Can I come in? I wanted to talk to you.”

Lucifer raised a brow at this, though he moves to the side and opens his door wider. “Did one of my brothers do something? You know I’d be more than happy to talk to them if they did something to upset you.” Oh, you know. The entire devildom knows. Regardless, you shook your head and stepped inside his office.

“It’s nothing like that. Actually I just…” Your voice trailed off as your eyes landed on his desk. The entire surface was covered in paperwork and it was then that the reality of the situation dawned on you. You interrupted Lucifer’s work, one of his biggest pet peeves, and you had absolutely no pickup lines memorized in your head. Why again did you think Mammon was the best suited one for this job? Maybe Mammon would at least have the decency to play your favorite song at your funeral.

“You just?” He’s already back at his desk, writing something down as you stand in front of him like an idiot. He must be used to this. You briefly wonder for a moment if that’s all he sees you as. Before you can let the thought depress you any further, you clear your throat. It was now or never. Your palms were beginning to feel clammy. You tug at the collar of your shirt; was it always this hot in his office?

“Are you an angel? No, wait.” That’s not how the pickup line went. You shook your head and raised a hand to cut Lucifer off before he could question you. “Did you fall-- no, wait .” This was beginning to frustrate you. Ah! You knew it--

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

It’s the only line your brain can muster, and it’s not even a good one. You raised your gaze to find Lucifer staring at you from where he’s seated. He blinks. Once, then twice. A few more times. The silence is beginning to stretch out and right before you can continue, he speaks up. “It ripped out my wings, so yes, it did hurt.” Your mouth goes dry as you try to think of something to respond with. Why did your brain have to think up a line that had the potential to just piss him off even more? “Why do you ask? Are you curious about fallen angels? I suppose it’s only natural, humans have always been curious creatures. Still, couldn’t this have waited for when I finished my work for the day? I don’t really have the time to go into details about it right now.”

You’re beginning to wonder if Lucifer actually hates pickup lines, or if it’s the fact that they just completely go over his head. Something tells you it’s the latter.

He’s impatiently tapping his pen against the desk, silently reminding you that he’s waiting for an answer. “Ah,” is what you lamely came up with.

“Right then. I’ll see you later and then we can discuss things.” With a wave of his hand you’re dismissed, and you find yourself numbly walking out of his office. You look over to see Mammon lingering around the end of the hall, an excited smile spreading across his face when he sees you.

“So? How’d it go?” He asked as he ran up to you, barely stopping himself in time so he wouldn’t collide into you.

“Um…” You try to think over the best way to explain what just happened. “We have a lot of work to do.” Is what you settle on saying.

[omgkatsudonplease]

[ficlet, bagginshield] oceans away (bridgerton au)

“Well, someone has shattered the Mirrormere,” remarks Balin drily as Thorin arrives in the kitchen for breakfast the morning after the Bywater Ball. When Thorin raises an eyebrow at him, Balin merely responds by showing him the latest scandal-sheet from Lord Stormcrow. “It says here that the Golden Hare has finally made his match, and somehow, unbelievably, it isn’t to you.”

“Unbelievably,” echoes Thorin. Dwalin has not woken up yet — something about a late night at the Green Dragon — which means Thorin has to make breakfast this morning. He crosses over to the stove, turning it on with some fiddling and grimacing. Bilbo had made it all look so desperately easy... 

No. He should not be thinking about Bilbo. He has more or less lost the right to think about Bilbo, after all of those sour words that passed between them. 

(How does he tell Bilbo that the reason he’s pushing him away is because he cares?)

“Yes; I was under the impression you intended to inform Mr Baggins of your feelings towards him,” says Balin, brows furrowing thoughtfully, “and yet it says right here that Mr Baggins is to be wed to Miss Lobelia Bracegirdle of Hardbottle.”

The egg that Thorin had been trying to crack into the skillet falls to the ground instead. 

“He picked her?” he wonders. Balin raises an eyebrow at the smashed egg, but thankfully says nothing about it as he flips the page of the pamphlet.

“Yes, the wedding is set for Lithe. Apparently there’s plans to make it a very big and lavish affair.” 

~~

Almost from the moment he agreed to the union, Bilbo has been caught within a hurricane of wedding preparations. Both the Baggins and the Bracegirdles were ecstatic about the upcoming nuptials, for vastly differing reasons. 

“Oh, I knew from the start that whole thing with the Dwarf-king was just a silly little distraction!” exclaims Auntie Camellia Sackville as she and Cousin Otho pile into Bilbo’s parlour for elevensies. “I mean, can you imagine? Being a Dwarf-king’s consort?” 

Bilbo grits his teeth, smiling at his aunt from over his teacup. The flowers that had so proudly adorned all of Bag End for the past several weeks are now being disposed of, while Lobelia’s voice can be distantly heard in some other room chewing out an assistant over napkin and silverware selections. Bilbo had decided the instant planning began that he was to have no opinion on anything to do with the ceremony or the reception, since it was clearly an affair for Lobelia’s benefit alone. 

“I thought for the longest time that, well, if the Golden Hare was going to be so picky, then Lobelia would be perfect for my Otho instead,” continues Auntie Camellia, while Cousin Otho sends Bilbo a mildly annoyed look through a mouthful of scone. “But I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. The Bracegirdles are the respectable choice, by a long shot.”

“Thorin is a King,” Bilbo points out acidly.

“And a Dwarf!” Auntie Camellia retorts. “Can you imagine that on our family tree? Dwarves and Hobbits do not mix, let me tell you that.”

“There’d be no mixing,” scoffs Bilbo. “Do you even hear yourself, Aunt Cam?”

Otho mouths ‘No, she doesn’t’ over his teacup. Bilbo resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

At that moment, Lobelia comes storming back into the parlour, her hair in a disarray and her expression nothing short of thunderous. “Is nobody going to help me plan this wedding?” she demands, with a pointed glare at Bilbo, who merely grimaces at her in response. “I am surrounded by incompetents!” 

“You clearly have a vision for the event, and I would just be getting underfoot,” replies Bilbo with a feigned smile.

Lobelia huffs. “Husband-to-be, at least show some excitement in front of our guests.”

“They’re my family,” says Bilbo. “Soon to be your aunt and cousin-in-law. Why don’t you spare me some face and not yell at your assistants for a couple of hours?”

Lobelia bristles like a brooding hen. “If I am to be mistress of Bag End, I expect the help around here to not question my decisions!”

“Sometimes those good folk you call ‘the help’ know much more about the subject than you or I,” replies Bilbo. “I’d listen to them, if I were you.”

Lobelia makes a half-choked-down scream, before smiling sweetly at both Auntie Camellia and Cousin Otho. She then sweeps away in high dudgeon, evidently on the warpath to torment some other hobbits. Bilbo sighs, finishes his tea, and pulls out Holman’s whiskey flask from the side table he stashes it in. Across the table, Auntie Camellia gasps in shock.

Bilbo unscrews the cap of the flask and pours a shot into his next cup of tea. “Anyway, Aunt Cam, you were saying?”

~~

“We should leave,” says Thorin, after he finally manages to cook some eggs and ham for breakfast and is now eating it straight out of the skillet. “Show up to Tumunzahar a little earlier than expected. I do not mind if we must stay in an inn prior to the halls the Ur family have prepared. Just get me out of the Shire and its stuffy protocols and dances.”

Balin harrumphs. “Interesting pivot. I thought you enjoyed being in the Shire.”

Thorin snorts. “Whatever gave you that misconception?” he wonders. 

Balin’s gaze slips down to the egg that Thorin is currently stabbing. “I recall the years you spent rebuilding Erebor after the attack by the firedrake,” he says. “You were so determined to restore the Kingdom Under the Mountain you nearly killed yourself from overwork. Not even your grandfather or father had the same devotion you had to the whole effort — not that I would fault them, of course, since your grandfather believed the attack was all his fault, and your father was devoted to caring for him until the bitter end. But that did put the burden of the kingdom on your shoulders far sooner than you deserved.”

Thorin sets down his fork. “I do not understand what you intend to say with this,” he states.

“I’m saying that the Thorin I knew would not run away from something worth fighting for,” replies Balin.

“What makes you think this madness is worth fighting for?” mutters Thorin, though the words are mostly swallowed by the tight, painful knot in his stomach. “He is engaged. It is over.”

“Does he love her?” wonders Balin.

Thorin remembers that the entire point of their charade had been to avoid Miss Bracegirdle in the first place. He shakes his head.

Balin chuckles drily at that. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, I have never seen a pair of stone-headed dolts like you and Mr Baggins in all my life. Actively trying to sabotage yourselves into doing the dutiful, respectable thing when it was clear you two were better off with one another!”

“Did I not tell you it was all a charade?” wonders Thorin, now very much not thinking about the last words passed between him and Bilbo. “That everything you saw at those dances, those promenades... was a lie?”

None of this is part of the charade, if you must know. I was genuinely concerned about you, because, for some Giver-forsaken reason, I’ve come to genuinely care about you.

Have you considered that maybe there are people out there who would think you even braver if you’d step back and let them worry about you for a bit?

“Was it?” wonders Balin. “Was it truly? I know some incredible actors from troupes in Gabigathol and I highly doubt any of them could feign such happiness. Not to mention you, Your Majesty, are no theatre actor. I seem to recall Dís and Dáin kicking you out of the family plays because of that.”

Thorin chuckles ruefully. “I admit, after a while his company was not the ordeal I had feared it would be. I enjoyed being with him far too much to stay away.”

“And you’re going to give that up?”

Thorin sighs. “But he is betrothed already, Balin.”

Balin snorts. “I seem to recall a conversation between the two of you at the Brandywine River Promenade where he mentioned that Hobbits can elope to avoid unwanted matches.”

~~

Just after Auntie Camellia and Cousin Otho leave, Lobelia sweeps off to the dressmaker in Hobbiton to go check on (and possibly berate) the folks working on her trousseau. Bilbo groans, already a little lightheaded from the whiskey, as he and Holman clear up the elevensies spread to get ready for luncheon. 

“I owe you another bottle,” he says to Holman, wiggling the near-empty flask. Holman chuckles at that.

“I shouldn’t have decided to hide it there, sir,” he says. “My apologies.”

“It came in handy in a tight pinch,” replies Bilbo. “Quite lucky, if you ask me.”

There’s another knock at the door at that moment, and Bilbo groans. “Should I tell them you’re not home?” wonders Holman. 

“I can hear you two through the window, you know,” says Gandalf’s voice not a moment later. Bilbo sighs, shaking his head at Holman. 

“Let’s see what Gandalf wants,” he suggests. 

Apparently what Gandalf wants is some leftover scones and a thorough dressing-down of Bilbo’s decision to marry Lobelia Bracegirdle. “Clearly I have not been coming around the Shire as often as I need to,” he declares through a mouthful of clotted cream and jam. Bilbo sends a long-suffering look at Holman as his valet fills Gandalf’s teacup for him. “Lobelia Bracegirdle, after all this time of avoiding her?”

“I am tired, Gandalf,” replies Bilbo. “The Golden Hare is tired of running.”

“And it really took Thorin Oakenshield for you to give up your ideas about true love?” wonders Gandalf. “Whatever could have transpired between the two of you? I thought the two of you were getting along splendidly.”

“We were,” agrees Bilbo, even as his chest tightens at the memory of Thorin’s words to him under the Party Tree, his face shadowed even under lanterns and moonlight.

Even though I hold you in the highest regard, I still do not intend to marry.

“We were,” he repeats, loosening his hands against the armrest of his chair. “But he made it clear he will not marry, not even now. Not even after what we have been through together.”

Gandalf’s bushy brows furrow. “So what was the point of your courtship?”

“We were just fooling the Shire for a little while,” replies Bilbo. “Feign a courtship so Erebor-Shire relations don’t get strained by his abysmal manners, and so I can throw off any insincere suitors. Not sure how much that worked out for me, though.”

Gandalf harrumphs. “And yet in spite of that you fell for him anyway.”

Bilbo hates it when Gandalf manages to suss out his inner thoughts with only a couple well-placed questions. “You know that’s ridiculous,” he says. “I am a Baggins of Bag End. I cannot just fall in love with a Dwarf-king.” No matter how big and strong, no matter how kind and gentle. 

Gandalf scoffs. “And since when did Bilbo Baggins care to put limits on who he loves? I used to recall a young hobbit who’d go running off into the forests to find himself ‘a Lúthien Tinúviel’ — a hobbit raised on stories of adventures and true love conquering all, who’d like nothing more than to see beyond the borders of the Shire and marry for love like his parents!”

Bilbo sighs. “Those are just stories, Gandalf.”

“And true love is not just in stories,” retorts Gandalf. “It is out there, waiting for you to find it in whatever shape it comes in.”

A silence falls between them then, as Bilbo contemplates the shades of grey on Gandalf’s coat, as well as his mother’s painting hanging on the wall just behind the Wizard’s head. Bilbo had finally taken it back from the Mathom-house, and now the memories of Thorin’s hands and lips come flooding back all at once. 

“You should be chewing out Thorin, not me,” he says after a moment. “I wasn’t the one who pushed us apart.”

Gandalf harrumphs. “I am sure Thorin is already hearing no end of it from his advisor Balin,” he replies. “I can worry about your current situation instead. Do you truly intend to go through with this marriage to Miss Bracegirdle?”

Bilbo grimaces. “Do I have a choice?”

~~

“This is madness,” says Thorin. “He will not take me back.”

“It is worth trying,” replies Balin. “At least he will know the true extent of your feelings, rather than whatever you said to drive him away last time.”

“Surely there will be people in Erebor opposed to the notion of me with a Hobbit,” protests Thorin. “We have not even known one another for that long.”

“And with all due respect, thinking too much about the potential negatives will only make things worse.” Balin’s eyes twinkle. “Just go find him at the Elostirion ball, Thorin, and apologise.”

“And if he is not there?”

Balin hums. “He will be.”

~~

“I believe a certain time-honoured tradition could be your way out of this predicament,” says Gandalf, causing Bilbo to snap back to attention. “Find Thorin at the Elostirion ball, and remind him of it.”

Bilbo scoffs. “He’s not going to show up to that,” he says.

Gandalf’s eyes twinkle in reply, and he calmly yet knowingly sips his tea.

Bilbo sighs. “Fine. I’ll go. To apologise for my last words to him. He deserves that much, at least.”

Gandalf chuckles. “That’s the spirit.”