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soldiersslut · 1 month

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GHOST OF YOU — SOLDIER BOY "CHAPTER FIVE"

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language, canon-violence, and Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy

Word Count: 2,977

Author's Note: Thank you so much again for all the love and support! I am so sorry I was gone for days, but a lot of family events came up and so I needed to step away. I will apologize for this chapter being short but I really wanted to finish season three and here we are! I do hope the chapter does not feel rushed, but I promise it will get better and better <3

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED PLEASE LET ME KNOW. DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW, HEART, AND REPOST. THANK YOU AGAIN!

You were unable to sleep after what occurred last night. No matter how many times you tossed and turned, and tried to switch pillows it was not enough to stop thinking what happened. When the sun began to rise you got up, showered, and waited for everyone else to be ready. The four of you will be heading to New York to find Black Noir and put an end to Homelander.

Butcher and Hughie were ready to go, eventually, Soldier Boy was ready. When you crossed paths the both of you just stared at one another. The both of you barely exchanged words. It was no surprising that Soldier Boy wanted to keep last night to himself. He has always been about being man enough to bottle up his feelings and concerns. You did not let last night bother you anymore.

It was going to be a long drive, and had expected it to be uneventful. The car ride was dreadful as you were stuck next to Soldier Boy again. Though nothing was exchanged between you both. If anything, he was giving you the cold shoulder.

You tried not to let it bother you, but it did. You were just good at hiding it.

At some point they needed to make a stop for gas and a restroom break. Soldier Boy was more asleep than awake and it did not worry neither one of you if someone attempted to break in the car and steal it.

You used the restroom and handed the over-sized keychain with the restroom key to Hughie.

“Oi, I need to talk to you ‘bout something,” Butcher called out to you.

“Everything alright?” you asked, concerned.

“We need to leave Hughie here.”

Just when you were about to snap he explained his reasoning. Butcher has the right intention, but he is doing it all wrong.

“Why don’t you just tell Hughie? Be honest with him.”

Butcher scoffed at your suggestion, “you and I both know that won’t stop Hughie. This is the only way.”

Reluctantly, you agreed.

“I need you to head out to the car and wait there,” Butcher ordered. You sighed and nodded. It sucked that Hughie was going to be left behind like this, but it will be the only way to protect him. You did as told and waited in the car. Instead of sitting in the back you sat on the front, passenger side. Soldier Boy was asleep, but awaken at the sound of the door closing. He sat up and looked around.

He noticed you were the only one there.

“The hell is the Brit and ball guzzler?” he asked. Now he wanted to talk to you.

“They should be out soon. No point in me waiting in there. I am not their babysitter,” you answered. That made Soldier Boy chuckle. He was still sleepy, but wanted to take the opportunity since the both of you are alone.

“I expect you to keep everything that happened last night to yourself. Can’t have you telling everyone that I acted like a pussy around you.”

You had already put last night to the back of your mind and here he goes bringing it forward.

“Why? Afraid to let everyone know that Soldier Boy had a heart?” you mocked. He clenched his fists together.

“I am not asking you. I am telling you, if you let one thing slip out of those damn lips I am breaking your fucking neck.”

That very much sounded like a threat, and it made you angry that he would go to such measures. Especially over something you already knew it shouldn’t be shared with anyone.

“Fucking peachy,” you spoke sarcastically, “if that’s the only reason why you woke up then don’t bother saying anything else.”

Soldier Boy said nothing. All he did was stare at you while you avoided looking at him. You wanted to avoid his gaze thus you were staring out the window. Seeing he was not going to get an answer from you anymore Soldier Boy went back to sleep.

Butcher came out without Hughie and you knew the deed was done. “Did he ever wake up?” he asked. You knew he was talking about Soldier Boy. You shook your head. Butcher started up the car and drove off. The entire ride was quiet until reaching the Flatiron building. It was night time and they needed to discuss a plan in how to enter Vought tower.

You were looking over the map with Butcher when your phone suddenly rang. The caller ID said Annie. It was wise not to answer with Butcher and Soldier Boy around, so you rejected the call.

You were trying to ignore the call but Annie was not backing down.

“You need to get that, love?” asked Butcher. You wanted to tell Butcher that it was Annie, but with the way Annie has been urgently calling you had to answer.

“I will be back,” you assured.

Soldier Boy watched you go, and he had the gut feeling that he needed to follow you. Though Butcher did not allow it and got to talking.

“What is it, Annie?” you asked, finally getting to the streets of New York.

Annie began to go on a rant about what Hughie told him, and what happened to Mindstorm.

“Homelander is his son,” you told Annie.

Annie stayed quiet on the phone, and from your guess you were on speaker.

“What the fuck do you mean?!” MM snapped. You explained what happened and how Soldier Boy learned the truth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! This changes everything. Where the hell are you?”

You had not recognized the voice immediately, but then it hit you that it was Queen Maeve.

“We are back at the Flatiron building. You need to come over right now, we are getting ready to leave.”

With that you hung up and began to make your way back to the office. Before you could barge in you listened to Butcher and Soldier Boy’s conversation. Hearing Soldier Boy describe his relationship with his father really explained a lot, and it makes sense why he is the way he is.

Once again you began to feel something for him you were unable to describe before, but now you know the right word.

Pity.

“I’m gonna get some air.”

That was your cue to make your presence known. You walked through the door and bumped into Soldier Boy. Both of you said nothing to each other. He stepped around you and left.

“He okay?” you asked.

Butcher nodded, “we need to go over the plan.”

And that’s exactly what you did. You discussed all entryways, possible traps, escape plans, casualties, and etc.

As time passed you found yourself constantly looking at your phone. They should be here any minute.

“What’s wrong with ya?” asked Butcher, and on cue there was a knock on the door. You knew it had to be the rest of the team.

Queen Maeve made her first appearance, and the rest followed. MM held a gun to Butcher’s chin.

More arguments occurred and it got so bad to the point Maeve threw the Novichok gas out the window. Everyone chose their sides, and when a fight was about to break down Soldier Boy appeared.

“In the safe,” ordered Butcher. You stayed in place, but soon realized something was wrong when Soldier Boy stood in front of you.

“Go,” he ordered. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“What? I am supposed to be helping you both with this plan.”

“Not this one. The safest place for you to be at is in there. I need you in there.” The way he stared down at you. The eyes do not lie and there was a hint of desperation.

Maybe in another circumstances you would have melted, but this game of hot and cold with him was beginning to get exhausted. The rest of the team caught on and only exchanged looks. Hughie had yet to explain the history behind Soldier Boy and Mimicry.

This was the last place and moment to argue, so you nodded your head and followed behind everyone. The lights went out per Butcher’s idea so Annie can avoid powering up. MM called out to you.

“You want to explain that shit out there?” he demanded to know. You blinked a couple of times and wondered where MM’s mind was going. Wherever it was at, he was getting pissed by the second.

“Explain what?” you asked.

“We never realized that Soldier Boy had a soft spot for you, madame. To request for you to stay here somewhere safe. Not just anyone, let alone him, asks that,” Frenchie answered.

It was a good thing it was dark in there. You could feel your face beginning to heat up.

“There was nothing, all that happened between us is arguments and wanting to bite each other’s heads off” you tried defending yourself.

“This is not the time right now,” Annie said. She was pushing against the heavy door, but it was impossible without her power.

Though the solution was on your hand. The flashlight!

You handed Annie the flashlight and with that it was enough to open the door. They settled on a plan. You were going to help Frenchie and Kimiko in the lab.

All of you were on the move and once entering Vought tower you went your separate ways. Kimiko was able to get you guys inside. Frenchie began to remake the gas. You gathered all the materials he needed and did as he asked you.

Guards entered the lab, but Kimiko took care of them. No matter how many times you have seen Kimiko fight it always amazes you to see just how fast she moves, and the way she does not think twice about getting blood on her.

Seeing more guards show up you decided in helping Kimiko. “Don’t worry about me, madame. I got it,” assured Frenchie.

You pulled out your gun and aimed, shooting from a distance. You took some down while others were injured enough to give Kimiko the upper hand. One slipped passed you and a bullet hit Frenchie. Everything went by so fast now you were barely starting to catch your breath when the fight ended.

Frenchie told Kimiko to go deliver the gas, but she did not want to leave Frenchie behind.

“Go, I got him,” you assured her. She smiled at you and ran off. You looked around the lab for alcohol, gauze, and something to pressurize the wound. After cleaning up Frenchie you helped him up.

“Frenchie, don’t you think it would be a good idea to take some of these files with us?” you asked. “These can help take down Vought if we need to do so.”

Frenchie agreed and let you look around. You were useless against the fight with Homelander, and with Frenchie’s injury it was best to get out of the tower. Rumbles from above can be heard and it was only a matter of time the building might possibly collapse.

You looked through files and sorted out what was good and not. Until you came across a red file. Something about it got your curiosity. Maybe it was the color of the file that made it stand out.

“Project Reawaken,” you said to yourself.

You began to skim through the lines.

Mention of time of death, location of death, cause of death. Everything about what happened to the subject is here in detail.

Subject suffered gunshot wounds and lost loads amount of blood in Russia back in the 1980s.

It was shocking to read what they did with the subject after. The subject’s body was retrieved by Vought and was experimented on using Soldier Boy’s blood.

The subject survived and has been in observation since.

The subject remained in one of Vought’s laboratories outside of the State.

“What’s that in your hands, madame?” Frenchie asked. You shared the file with Frenchie and read out loud certain parts. When you flipped to the next page you let out a gasp and dropped the file.

Frenchie had managed to get a glimpse and his eyes went wide.

“What is this merde?” he asked. He picked up the file from the ground and stared at the picture that changed everything now.

“Mimicry, who is Mimicry?” Frenchie asked. There was no way for you to answer his question. The name Mimicry was unknown to you, and yet, you are in the picture. You are the subject, or it’s someone that looks identical to you.

That could not be you. It’s impossible. You were born late 1980s and this is a grown woman from the 1980s. There was more pictures of the subject, and as much as you would like to read the file more you felt dizzy. Frenchie read for you and the more he talked about it his voice grew distance. At the end of the file there was a USB.

He realized what was happening to you and tried to grab your attention. He called out to you and began to shake you.

“Madame, right now is not the time. We need to go now,” he said. The structure of the building was beginning to fall apart. You were supposed to be helping Frenchie, not the other way around. When the rumble got worse you snapped out of it.

You helped Frenchie who was limping the entire way out.

“We need to go back to the Flatiron. It is too dangerous out here!” you yelled. The rumbling got worse and at any second this building was going to fall apart or break itself from the inside out. You helped Frenchie get a good distance away. The building was in full view, and you caught sight of someone falling off the tower.

The glow was too familiar and you knew exactly who it was. You gasped when he exploded and all the windows of the building broke.

You and Frenchie exchanged a worried look, but your eyes shifted to something else. Frenchie noticed there was confusion and sadness. Before he could ask you what was going through your mind you ran the opposite direction, and headed back towards the tower.

“I’m sorry,” you said. Frenchie’s foot was not letting him go after you. He called out your name but nothing was going to make you turn back. You had to find him. You needed to see him. He held all the answers and this entire time he never thought to tell you.

You were tired, you’re nerves were everywhere and the more you ran you felt like your body was tearing you apart little by little. Based on where he fell you headed in the general direction. There was no time to waste, you could not take a breath either. It wouldn’t just be you looking for him. If the plan was successful Soldier Boy should be asleep right now and at any moment the CIA was going to retrieve him. You cannot let that happened. You needed the answers.

You needed him.

“You have to be here somewhere,” you said out loud. You took a turn in an alleyway and walked down. With your phone’s flashlights you looked around and there he was. He was in deep sleep.

Everything was moving so quick for you again that every rational thought went out the window for you. You cannot even describe how you were able to drag Soldier Boy to the nearest car (that did not belong to you). You broke into the car, jump start it, and managed to get him inside the car.

Without a second thought you drove away from the tower. You were gonna go as far as you could. On cue, multiple black SUVs pulled around the corner to block off the perimeter where you retrieved Soldier Boy. Some relief washed over you, but now you began to panic.

You have Soldier Boy. That was not the deal. The deal was put Soldier Boy to sleep and hand him over to the CIA.

Some time must have passed and your phone began to ring. You realized it was Butcher. They must know by now what happened. It was only a matter of time before you had to answer Butcher, so better now than ever.

You answered the phone and before you can say anything Butcher began to rip you a new one.

“What the bloody hell did you do. Where is Soldier Boy?!” he yelled.

“Soldier Boy is with me. He has all the answers I need. Butcher, please” you begged, but there was no reasoning enough for him,

“Do you understand what you just did?! Soldier Boy is to remain asleep now for God knows how long and you screwed up the plan! We couldn’t kill Homelander and now you are telling me you have gone rogue with him?! Where are you going?! We are coming to get you.”

“Did you know?” you asked with hesitation. You were scared to know if your friends knew the truth.

Frenchie had told Butcher what happened and what they saw.

Butcher did not answer and that was enough for you. You cleared your throat to hold back on the knots that was forming.

“It would be best if you forget about me bringing back Soldier Boy to you. I have questions, and he has answers. Until I get them you can forget about finding us.”

With that you hung up. You removed the chip from the back of the phone and threw everything out the window.

Soldier Boy still remained asleep, and you have yet to think how he will react when he wakes up.

Whatever happens though you will be getting the answers you are seeking.

Next Chapter: Chapter Six

Author's Note: And boom! That is it for season three! I am so happy we are closing this part and will be going on with my take of season four and so on. I thought it was best to leave it with this small cliffhanger as I get back to my normal schedule, and write longer chapters. Thank you so much again for all the love this story is receiving <3

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x you #the boys series

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collidescopeeyes · 4 months

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I love your recent swain hc! Can u pls write modern swain who would always receive handwritten notes thats always attached on his lunchbox from reader, but if reader is upset or mad at him there would be no notes or his lunchbox's food is just a plain bread

This is so fucking funny asdlkjskh

Modern!Swain misses his handmade lunches after a fight

- Swain always looks forward to your lunches, they're a highlight to his day. Not only are you a fantastic cook, but it's a little reminder that you care in the middle of what's usually a busy and high-stress day. He keeps every single note in a little box in the bottom of his desk, and if he ever needs a pick-me-up to get him through the day he reads a few at random.

- You don't fight often, but the absence of your little notes stings worse than anything you say in the heat of the moment. If he gets a lunch with no note he's spending the rest of the work day trying to figure out how to make it up to you.

- This time though, he fucked up. He's been busier than usual lately and you got into an argument about his awful work-life balance; you mentioned that it felt like he wasn't putting in much effort and he said maybe you should be putting in less effort. Instant regret but the damage was done, you storm off and he resigns himself to the doghouse. Still, his lunchbox is still on the counter when he wakes up (it's an expensive couch but it ain't built for sleeping on), so maybe you're not that mad at him? Still, he resolves to apologize as soon as you're ready to talk.

- Lowkey he's dreading lunch all work day. The upside is he gets plenty of work done; no one's dares to bother him considering the aura of death he's radiating. Rumors start circulating about who's gonna get fired but Darius tells them not to worry, he's just sulking cuz his wife's mad at him. That starts a whole other round of rumors–you’re so nice, wtf did he do to get you mad at him??

- How does Darius know this? Well. You ran into him in line at the coffee shop you both frequent and you ended up venting to him–it's obvious you're upset and he's a surprisingly good listener. You walk away feeling better and resolve to talk to Swain once he gets home–you were maybe being a bit petty with the lunch thing and you’re sure he'll apologize and you’ll work things out together if you give him a chance. Oh, but if Darius didn't have lunch for today already, did he want this? You prep everything the night before since Swain leaves so early, but you hate wasting food so you just took it with you. It's the least you could give him for hearing you out, plus it saves you trying to eat two lunches today.

- He accepts, obviously, partially cuz you're a great cook and partially cuz he doesn't want to turn you down. On his way into work though it occurs to him, if you're giving him Swain's lunch then wtf does Swain have? He has to know.

- Swain's pretty punctual, so Darius just shows up to his office at lunch time–he has some actual business matters he needs to talk to him about anyway, co-owner to co-owner. Definitely not because this is the most entertaining thing Darius has seen since Swain was stressing out over you introducing him to your parents. Nope. Swain actually welcomes the distraction at first–Darius rarely has lunch with him so it must be important.

- Picture this. Swain, opening his lunch box to a single slice of white bread. Unbuttered. He stares. He looks up. Darius, shit eating grin, unpacking his lunch. And Swain knows that's his fucking lunch, that's all the stuff you had in the kitchen and your cooking and Darius doesn't even like cheese.

- You know that meme where one kid gets the cute bear cutout bread and the other one gets crust with a bear shaped hole in the middle? Yeah.

- Neither of them says a word. You could cut the silence with a knife. Swain gets up and leaves without another word. He's taking a half-day and nobody dares stop him. Actually no, he's taking a long weekend, Darius can manage without him and if he can't, that's his personal problem. He's got a heartfelt apology to make.

- (He does in fact apologize, you sort it out and you go on a nice weekend trip together. Darius will insist this was part of his plan. Honestly the company couldn't handle it if you two fought for much longer, and employees everywhere offer up a thanks to your benevolence–being around Swain when he's in a bad mood is stressful.)

#league of legends x reader #league x reader #leauge of legends #reader fic #x reader #f!reader #reader #requests #hcs #swain lol #swain x reader

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jikookiekosmos · 2 years

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Seneschal || jjk (Part 1)

➥Pairing: vampire!jungkook/reader, former prince!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Having been burned by the rest of the world, Jungkook was content to watch it go up in flames. Or, at least, he was until you gave him hope for something new. As plans are set in motion to unite your rival kingdoms, unforeseen circumstances arise. In the midst of the chaos, Jungkook is sure of one thing: he’d be damned if he let you get burned, too.

➥Genre: strangers to lovers, angst, slow burn, (eventual) fluff, (eventual) smut, royalty au, supernatural au

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~6k

➥Content Warnings: a bit of angst, no smut in the first part but there is a little bit of nudity mentioned, blood and violence are mentioned, vampire lore(?), swearing, this is more of an intro chapter than anything else so there isn’t a whole lot that happens

A/N: so uh…it’s been a while, yeah? I haven’t updated any of my BTS fics on this blog in over a year due to a lot of life things (you can read here if you’re curious as to why), but I finally had a little time to sit down and dedicate to this idea I teased back in November 2021. As mentioned in the content warnings, this is more of an intro chapter so there isn’t a whole lot going on…definitely will be more happening later.

Anyways all that to say thank you to everyone who has supported/is still supporting me and my writing even during my hiatus. It means the absolute world to me 💜

(Also special shout-out to @dntaewithluv for listening to me ramble off idea about this for a literal year, I love you so much and appreciate you immensely ❤️)

seneschal [sen-uh-shuhl] (noun) an officer having full charge of domestic arrangements, ceremonies, the administration of justice, etc., in the household of a medieval prince or dignitary; steward.

Otherwise known as Jungkook’s consolation prize when he was coerced to step down from the throne.

It had been 2 years since the…incident occurred, but Jungkook could still remember it as if it had just happened.

Which is exactly what he was reflecting on as a vial was being thrust into his vision.

He blinked rapidly a few times before staring up at the person holding the vial out for him, their face a mixture of excitement and mild impatience.

“Well? We don’t have all day. Drink up, Jeon.”

Jungkook glared.

“My apologies, please drink the potion, Mr. Jeon.”

“Jimin, you know how I feel about you and formalities-”

“It just so happens that my manners come out more as my patience grows thin.” Jimin teased. “So,” he tried once more, “drink it.”

Jungkook sighed and shook his head, knowing it was better to leave well enough alone.

“Are you sure this is safe,” Jungkook asked as he stared hesitantly at the vial filled with blue liquid just inches away from his face.

Jimin rolled his eyes before grabbing Jungkook’s hand and closing it around the vial. “Yes, for the billionth time I wouldn’t give you something I thought might harm you.” He took a step back and crossed him arms, waiting patiently for Jungkook to do something.

With a sigh Jungkook carefully brought the vial to his lips, swallowing the liquid without putting too much thought into it. The taste was bitter, but not wholly unpleasant, and a few more moments passed before either of them spoke.

“And the verdict is?” The genuine curiosity in Jimin’s voice was something Jungkook had always found to be endearing.

Jungkook chuckled. Jimin may have still been a wizard in training, but he always had Jungkook’s best interest at heart.

“How am I supposed to know if anything happened? You tell me.”

Jimin blinked before the realization set in. “Oh, right.” He stepped forward once more, peering into Jungkook’s eyes as best he could in the dim lighting of the room.

Jungkook already knew the results before Jimin could confirm them. The way his face dropped said it all.

“They’re still red. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’m following all the rules-”

“Jimin.”

“Maybe the spellbook is outdated, you know? This is the only one I’ve ever seen anyone else use, it must be centuries old at this point-”

“Jimin,” Jungkook stated more firmly this time, clapping his hand on the other’s shoulder to keep him from pacing around more. “It’s fine.”

Jimin groaned. “But it’s not fine, what kind of a supposed ‘wizard’ am I if I can’t even do a simple eye color changing spell.”

“You’re one that’s trying and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but,” Jimin broke off, pout prominent on his face. “you shouldn’t have to wear contacts all the time.”

Jungkook offered a gentle smile to his downtrodden friend. “There’s lots of things I shouldn’t have to do, but I do them anyway. It’s only a slight inconvenience, not a big deal.”

Jimin didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know why you need to wear them in the first place, does it really matter if people see-”

“Yes,” Jungkook cut him off with a tone of finality. “We’ve been over this. It’s best for everyone if they don’t figure it out.”

“So you’re honestly fine with everyone thinking you did something horrible enough to make you step down from the throne? You’re ok with letting people drag your name through the mud constantly?”

Jungkook shrugged. “It’s just better this way.”

Jungkook could swear he heard Jimin growl. “It’s not right and you know it. You’re just too set in your ways about not wanting to bring dishonor on your family. Which, by the way, not sure if you noticed but they aren’t the most honorable people.”

“Don’t.” Another statement with a stern tone. This time, Jimin obeyed.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, letting the dark curls fall at their own leisure. “I need to get going or I’ll be late.”

If he left now he had just enough time to stop by his room and grab his contacts he’d left behind on his way to see Jimin, as per Jimin’s request.

“I’ve got it all figured out, so you won’t even need them this time!” Jimin had promised.

Jungkook had hope that one of these days Jimin would be victorious in all of his spellcasting endeavors, and he’d be there to support him the whole way through.

Right now, however, he had bigger matters to attend to.

On his way back to his chambers he saw Seokjin, who he figured was en route to go check on Jimin, seeing as he was the appointed court wizard and Jimin was his apprentice.

Jungkook nodded at him as they passed by each other, but Seokjin calling out for him had him turning around.

“Yes?”

It was then that Jungkook could see just how tired Seokjin looked. “Lord Jeon requests your presence before your meeting with the king.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Did he now? He bother to tell you what it was about?”

Seokjin shook his head, brows somewhat furrowed. Jungkook sensed that he seemed tense overall, and Jungkook didn’t like it.

“He didn’t. He just said it was important and had to be done as soon as possible.”

With a deep sigh, Jungkook relented, mumbling a thank you to Seokjin as he changed the direction he was walking. His brother’s chambers were located in a completely different wing of the castle, but he still had enough time to stop by his own room afterwards if he played his cards right.

He could hear the noises before he even approached the door, faint enough to go unnoticed by other passerby, but due to his heightened senses he had the unfortunate luck of not being able to remain oblivious. Jungkook knocked on the door despite the urge to just barge in; protocol was a big thing here and it was best for him to keep that in mind.

When he got no answer, he knocked once more before he squared his shoulders and turned the knob to open the door.

Without waiting for a greeting, he walked in, fully prepared for what he might find, seeing as it’d happened before.

Sure enough, the sight he was met with was exactly what he expected.

“Ah, so you finally came,” a snarky voice called out to him, slightly muffled. Jungkook rolled his eyes as he waited for the other party to get situated.

“What do you want, Yoongi?”

The blonde man in the bed not far from Jungkook smiled as the sheets fell around his waist. The woman next to him had even less shame, not bothering to cover her naked torso.

It wasn’t like Jungkook had never seen it before, anyway-

“Now is that anyway to address your superior?”

Jungkook gritted his teeth. “It is when my ‘superior’ is my younger brother.”

Yoongi tutted disapprovingly. “If you recall, you’re still only 24 years old-”

“Yoongi.”

“Which makes me the older brother now since I just turned 25.” he flashed a grin and the woman beside him snuggled up to his arm, still not completely covering her breasts. Jungkook looked away.

“So,” Yoongi continued, “you care to try that again?”

“I don’t, thanks. What do you want?”

Yoongi huffed, clearly unamused. “What I want is for you to tell our father what my requests are for the event we’re holding.”

This intrigued Jungkook enough to turn his sights back to his brother. “You’re not attending?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Yoongi feigned remorse. “I have more important matters to attend to.”

Jungkook watched in disgust as Yoongi grabbed a hold of the woman’s chin to turn her face so that he could kiss her. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

“So you’re not coming then?”

“Oh he’s not, but he will be,” the woman ran her hand up Yoongi’s arm. Long, teal hair covered her shoulders, reminding Jungkook of when it was first dyed. He’d been there with her after all, so of course he’d remember it.

She giggled at her own joke while Yoongi laughed boisterously, 2 sounds Jungkook wished he’d never have to hear again.

He’d never been that lucky.

“I don’t have time for this,” was his only remark before he turned on his heel to exit the room.

Jungkook ignored Yoongi’s calls for him to come back, instead taking longer than necessary strides to put as much room between him and his brother as possible.

A low growl died in his throat as he pulled on the edge of his chain dangling from his neck. It looked like an ordinary chain necklace to the untrained eye, but it was long enough to where the end of it could fit in Jungkook’s pocket. From his neck, the rest of the chain disappeared beneath his shirt, covering the length of his chest.

It was a safety measure more than anything, something Seokjin and Jimin had helped him come up with following the ‘incident.’

⊱─────✧༺✧༻✧─────⊰

“Silver has been known to cause excruciating pain to vampires,” Seokjin had explained, “but this is a special chain, charmed with a spell that dulls that effect.”

“It doesn’t get rid of it completely?” Jimin’s confusion was evident alongside his concern for his friend.

Seokjin shook his head. “It won’t, only because that was Jungkook’s request.”

Jimin’s worried stare shifted to Jungkook, who was sitting on one of the tables in Seokjin’s chambers. His shirt was shredded, and his chest was stained scarlet: souvenirs of his most recent outing.

He went out to feed, traveling several towns over, and ended up failing miserably. Jungkook maybe got a few seconds of satisfaction before he was being ripped away from his willing victim and promptly beaten by 3 other men.

He absolutely could’ve taken them, but he was already ashamed of what he was doing in the first place. He figured that this was punishment that he had coming in one way or another.

That night when he stumbled into Seokjin’s room, bloodied and defeated, they put together a plan straight away.

Jimin asked to sit in and observe, since he was still unfamiliar with certain spells, but he missed that part of the conversation when he was fetching supplies.

“I don’t understand, why do you want the chain to still be able to cause pain?”

Jungkook sighed, wrapping part of it around his fist and noticing instantly the slight burn the metal singed his skin with. “Because the pain will hopefully be enough to stop me.”

“Stop you from doing what?”

Jungkook slowly raised his eyes to look at Jimin, a small, sorrowful smile stretched across his face.

“Something I regret.”

⊱─────✧༺✧༻✧─────⊰

The familiar sting of the chain branded the inside of his palm with invisible marks, and he kept it curled inside his hand until he was in front of his own chamber doors. He was really pushing time now, close to being late for his advisory meeting, but he’d risk a slight delay in the start of the meeting versus having to explain why his eyes were crimson colored.

Once he had his contacts fixed, he all but jogged to the large meeting room down the hall. A few guards and his father were already there, waiting on him as it seemed he was the last to show up.

“You’re late,” the king greeted, a hint of disappointment in his tone.

Jungkook was used to that by now.

“Sorry, Your Majesty, I had to run a few errands first. Shall we start?”

The king cleared his throat and nodded, holding out his hand to the guard nearest him. A scroll was placed into his large palm before he quickly unraveled it.

Jungkook watched his eyes flit across the parchment, and when he deemed it satisfactory, the king handed it back to the guard so he could pass it down to Jungkook.

“You’ll find the agenda there for tomorrow’s event. I’m entrusting you, as usual, with all the planning so you can make sure everything is taken care of.”

Jungkook hummed as he read through everything. It all looked to be in order: designated time for the other guests to arrive, instructions for what catering needed to be prepared, an outline of what was required for Yoongi’s meeting with the princess-

Jungkook read that line again. And another time. He ground his teeth together as he looked back up at the king whose eyebrow was raised as he waited.

“Well? Is something the matter? You look perturbed.”

“Father-”

“This is an official meeting, boy. No informal titles allowed.”

Jungkook’s jaw was clenched. “Your Majesty,” he tried again, “what is this last portion here about a meeting with a princess?”

“Ah yes, that.” The nonchalant answer made Jungkook’s anger rise even further. “The meeting between their princess and our prince is what will be the defining moment for the entire event.”

Jungkook had known there was some sort of event happening that was supposed to – hopefully – demolish the rivalry between the two neighboring kingdoms. There had been bad blood for far too long, and it sometimes made it difficult to retrieve supplies from other areas without conflict arising.

Jungkook had been tasked with planning everything for the guests arrival, as his job required him to do. Despite being kicked from the royal lineage, he was allowed to stay a part of the royal court and act as a steward of sorts. It wasn’t always the best, but he figured it beat being exiled from the kingdom entirely.

He worked tirelessly over the last several months to ensure that all boxes were checked for this gathering. But this new information blindsided him, and now it suddenly made sense why his father and Yoongi both seemed so cocky and sure that this would work.

“And no one thought it pertinent enough to tell me that this would be happening?”

Of all things he could’ve done in that moment, the king had the audacity to shrug. “You won’t be present for that bit of it, so we didn’t feel it was necessary to tell you.”

“Then why isn’t Yoongi here for this instead of me,” Jungkook tried to keep his tone respectful, but even he couldn’t stop some of the malice from slipping through.

“The prince” the king put heavy emphasis on the title, “is busy carrying out other affairs, so it didn’t seem important to bother him with this.”

“Yeah, affair is certainly one way to put it,” he mumbled, crossing his arms as he looked to the side.

“I beg your pardon?”

Jungkook exhaled through his nose. “Nothing, Your Majesty.”

The king stared at Jungkook for a few more moments before he dismissed the other guards in the room.

“Gentleman, if you’d kindly take your leave for a moment – I need to have a discussion with my son. Two of you may remain posted at the door in case you’re needed.”

The guards obeyed quickly, bowing as they exited.

Jungkook scoffed. “So now I’m your ‘son?’ I’m surprised that word still exists in your vocabulary where I’m concerned.”

“Jungkook, be quiet!” The king raised his voice as a warning and slammed his fist against the table, stopping Jungkook’s jabs in their tracks.

“Regardless of your faults and any heinous acts you may have committed, you are still my son. Whether I like it or not.”

Jungkook hated how those words caused a dull ache in his chest.

“And because you are my son, that is why you are still allowed to be here in the first place. Do you ever think about how easy it would’ve been to toss you on the street like some mere commoner,” the king spat, his own outward frustration mirroring what Jungkook felt on the inside.

“You only tell me every chance you get, how could I not?”

“Watch your tone with me, boy. I am not above throwing you in the dungeon for insubordination.”

Jungkook was well aware. At this rate, he had his own personal cell with how often his father (and more so his brother) felt the need to send him there.

“Can we go back to what this ‘meeting’ is supposed to entail? Why is their princess involved?”

The king squared his shoulders and smiled. “They’ve offered a marriage proposal.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, a what?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. The king’s eldest daughter, Princess Mina, is being offered as a marriage candidate for Prince Yoongi.”

“And Yoongi agreed to this?”

The king frowned at Jungkook’s continued lack of formality before he nodded. “He’s been preparing for it for a while now.”

Jungkook clenched his fist under the table.

“Fucking unbelievable,” Jungkook muttered, a few seconds from leaving the meeting altogether in order to give the prince a piece of his mind.

“Language,” the king reminded him sternly.

“Look, fa- Your Majesty. With all due respect to you, I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Please do enlighten me as to why you feel that way.”

Jungkook sighed as he rubbed his temples. “Arranged marriages amongst royals never seem to work out well from what I’ve seen. Arranged marriages amongst anyone just seems like a poor idea.”

“Your mother and I married as part of an arrangement, and we turned out fine.”

Jungkook would beg to differ, but that was an entirely different conversation for some other time.

“I just think it’s odd that he would accept this proposal when he’s already involved with someone else.”

Finally, it was the king’s turn to look taken aback. “Whatever do you mean?”

‘He doesn’t know,’ Jungkook realized.

“Don’t worry about it, I just assumed he already had someone in mind is all.”

“Unlike you, the prince seems to be able to keep his mind off of finding love amongst the common rabble outside the castle walls.”

Jungkook winced.

“Additionally, if he did already have someone in mind, I’m sure I would’ve heard about it by now.”

“You know better than I would,” Jungkook lied. He knew that Yoongi kept many, many secrets from their parents, which is why he’d always been the favorite. They never got a glimpse of his true nature, but unfortunately for Jungkook, he got to see all of it.

“Indeed,” the king said with finality, marking the end of that conversation. “Now, back to the preparations for the event-”

“I’ll handle it,” Jungkook sounded much more deflated than when he entered the room. Animosity exhausted him.

“Good. I expect nothing less of you. I don’t expect much from you to start with, but I at least anticipate you will do your job.”

Another mindless insult. Jungkook stopped keeping count of how many times his father shamed him years ago after the scandal first broke.

If anyone asked him, he’d even go so far as to say his father’s love for him died the same day his human life ended.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, the queen and I have other matters to attend to before tomorrow.” The king got up from the table and walked off, not even bothering to see if Jungkook would also make way to leave. Before he exited through the door, he turned back one last time to look at Jungkook.

“Don’t make me regret letting you stay here. This is the most important thing the kingdom has faced since you were a child, and if you mess it up somehow, being exiled will be the least of your worries.”

Jungkook received the threat with a solemn stare, no more words spoken as he was then left alone in the large room.

On the way back to his chambers, Jungkook had a lapse in judgment. He turned and let his feet carry him to his new destination, landing three hard knocks on the door before it opened quickly.

“What?” An annoyed tone filtered through the open doorway. “Oh – it’s just you.”

Yoongi’s hair was less disheveled than it had been earlier, but it was clear he was now trying to get himself ready for later activities in the day.

“What do you want?” Yoongi crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorframe, not allowing Jungkook any space to enter the room.

Not that he really wanted to, anyway. He just needed to know one thing.

“Does she know?”

Yoongi blinked in confusion. “Does who know about what? You gotta be more specific, I can’t read your mind-”

“Does she know,” Jungkook interrupted, more sternly this time. “What’s happening tomorrow. Does she know?”

He had to ask. As much as he loathed her now, he still thought she deserved better than to be cheated on and discarded like she was nothing.

Even if that’s exactly what she’d done to him.

Jungkook watched as Yoongi’s eyes sparked with amusement when he finally understood. “Aeris? Yeah, she knows. She actually just left by the way; sorry you didn’t get to see her again.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed.

“So she knows and she’s fine with it?”

“Yeah, I mean – she gets it a ‘thing’ I have to do. It’s completely transactional and I’m only doing it for the betterment of the kingdom.”

Yoongi was lying through his teeth and Jungkook wanted to wipe his smug grin off his face. His entire life Yoongi had been selfish and only looked out for himself, so this idea that he was doing it to help the people living in the kingdom?

Absolutely preposterous.

Jungkook needed a fucking break. He needed to get away, clear his head before he had to come back and deal with everything else tomorrow.

He walked off without another word, something he knew Yoongi hated – which is most of the reason why he’d done it.

“You know,” Yoongi shouted after him, “I think bitterness suits you. It’s a good look since it matches the rest of your miserable demeanor!”

Jungkook ignored him and continued walking, not stopping until he reached his favorite spot in the entire castle.

He would often come up to the highest balcony, somewhere he could be alone with his thoughts and not have the added stress of other’s opinions for a short while.

The balcony was all but abandoned as he was the only one to frequent it. The only crime he’d ever say he committed was stealing the key to the door that granted access up here. After a while, everyone else forgot about it, so he was able to keep this spot hidden. A place of his own, where he didn’t have to worry about being found.

A place of his own where his thoughts could run wild. A place of his own where his demons continued to follow him despite his best efforts.

A place of his own where he could just be alone.

After all, that’s what was best for everyone, right?

Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder, as he’d done many times before, what his life would be like now if he hadn’t been attacked. His entire life – as a prince, as an official royal family member, as a living, breathing human – was cut short in the blink of an eye. His humanity as he knew it was gone in an instant.

If it hadn’t happened, though, where would he be now? Would it be him getting ready to marry someone for political gain instead of his brother?

He shook his head as he let out a humorless chuckle. He knew he’d fight that decision with everything he had, and for he first time since it had been stripped away from him, he was relieved he wasn’t in that kind of position anymore.

The thought of sharing his life with someone he didn’t truly care about, whether it was for the greater good or not, just didn’t seem right, nor did it seem fair. Not to mention the fact that it didn’t just include him: someone’s else’s life would be affected just as much as his.

It dawned on him then that he was standing here, genuinely putting thought into how he would handle such a situation. He wasn’t some cold, heartless being. He still had the ability to care for others, and that alone gave him some sort of hope.

He looked up at the moon, admiring how the light spilled through the branches of the tree overhead.

“Maybe I still have some humanity left after all.”

lady-in-waiting (noun) a woman of noble birth who serves a female monarch as a member of the royal household.

“Please hold still, Your Highness,” you huffed with thinly veiled frustration as you tried to lace up the corset you were currently working on.

You made a mental note to go shopping later in order to find better dresses for the princess. They still would be ones that were just as extravagant, but hopefully didn’t give you a blood pressure spike to assist with.

“Oh please, what’s with the formal treatment? It’s just us right now, you don’t have to do that, you know.”

“Yes, but,” you tugged once more, finally letting out a sigh of relief when the strings worked how you wanted them to. “With the event happening soon, it’s better for me to get back into the habit.”

Being best friends with the princess granted you some privileges that you were grateful for. When it was just the two of you, you didn’t have to uphold this extra formal, fancy attitude and instead you both got to be much more laid-back. You knew she appreciated it just as much as - if not more than - you, since she was held to a higher standard and scrutinized more heavily.

However, by the kingdom’s definition, you were first and foremost her lady-in-waiting, which ranked above any and all other duties you had in the royal court. Which, unfortunately, meant that at certain times your role took precedence over your friendship, and that was just the way it had to be.

“Ugh, I can’t wait for all this stupid royal relations stuff to be over.”

“Mina-”

She held up a hand. “Let me get it out, then you can scold.”

You waited patiently, fixing the other parts of the dress while she rambled on for the umpteenth time about her dislike for the event happening soon.

“…I mean this is a rival kingdom, we don’t even like them, so why bother. You know?”

“Mhm,” you hummed as you agreed honestly. It did seem like a stretch for your kingdom to try and force relations with one who had been a long-standing rival. The way you saw it, if after all these years and prior failed attempts had yet to work, what made the king think this would be any different?

Of course, there was now the added factor of a new bargaining chip: the king and queen were offering one of their daughters as a potential marriage candidate for the other kingdom’s prince.

Mina, being the oldest princess in line, begrudgingly accepted for the sake of the kingdom.

The plan had been set in motion months prior, but it was all finally happening tomorrow – both you and Mina were on edge, anticipating the worst but hoping for the best.

What was supposed to happen seemed simple enough: the king would accompany the princess on her visit to the other kingdom, escorted heavily by guards and with you at her side, as you always were. She would meet the prince officially for the first time, and both kings would try to strike up some sort of arrangement.

You figured this would actually be more beneficial for them, seeing as their kingdom was still recovering from a huge scandal that happened a few years ago. You remembered it vividly, taking note of how the abruptness of it all never sat right with you.

The eldest prince stepped down from his position as next in line for the throne, following some sort of act that was only described as ‘utterly disgraceful’ and never really elaborated on in the public news.

Before the news broke, the kingdom was well known for its power and influence all over the land, and the downfall from it all landed a huge blow to their standing. It aided your own kingdom in rising above them in their rivalry, but it appeared that now your own monarchs wanted to put everything behind them and unite for…whatever reason.

You tried not to get too deeply involved in the politics. Your duty was to serve Mina, and the royal family as a whole – this didn’t leave you much room to voice your own opinions.

Mina’s soft calling of your name pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Yes?”

Any frustration you had left from the dress fiasco quickly evaporated when you saw her face. She was biting her lip, and in that moment she looked very meek, small. Very unlike the exuberant, confident young woman you knew.

“I’m scared.”

You sighed at that, pulling her into a hug that she gratefully accepted. This was this first time she had outright said it, but you could tell she was terrified from the moment she was first told about this arrangement months ago.

“I know,” you patted her back. You wanted to tell her everything would be alright, that it would all work out, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Lying to someone to provide them comfort was never something you could get behind, and you didn’t plan to start now.

“I promise you, though, that whatever happens, we’ll get through it together.” You didn’t feel bad saying that because it was the truth; you were ready to face anything when it came to Mina, and you’d do anything for her.

She was basically the most important person in your life, and you’d be damned if you let anything bad happen to her.

Well…anything short of letting her go through with a marriage to a man she’d never met.

Just as your duty to her came first, her duty to her kingdom came first. You knew it and respected it, even if you didn’t always like it.

Mina giggled, her frame shaking slightly in your hold. “It almost sounds like you’re the one I’m supposed to be marrying,” she teased.

You joined in her laughter. “I mean, I don’t think it would yield quite the same results-”

“We both know we’d be arrested before we could even say ‘I do.’” Mina joked, despite her dark attempt at humor having a level of truth to it.

“A princess marrying her lady-in-waiting?” You covered your heart and pretended to be appalled. “Imagine the scandal!”

Mina shoved you lightheartedly, her laughter echoing off the walls. She looked miles happier than she’d been a few minutes prior, and you were relieved to see it.

“C’mon, help me with my hair or we’re gonna be late.” Mina collected her hairbow from her dresser and handed it to you so you could tie up her hair in the back. When you were done, she glanced quickly in the mirror and nodded, pleased with the result.

“Is there anything else you need to do?”

You gave yourself a once-over in the mirror as well and decided that your outfit would have to do. It wasn’t bad by any means, but if you had a little more time, you probably could’ve spruced it up some more.

“All good here. After you, my Lady.” You made a grand gesture out of letting her go first, which earned you another light shove.

“Cut that out! We still have a few minutes of freedom left before we have to be formal.”

You chuckled. “You got it.”

✧───────⊱✧⊰───────✧

You accompanied Mina to her final etiquette training before the big day. Everything she learned was more of a refresher than new material, but her nervousness kept her from doing her best, which led to her being reprimanded by the queen.

“How can you expect to marry someone if you can’t play the part of a prim and proper princess?”

Mina bit her tongue, as she usually did with her mother, and you expected to get an earful from her later about the situation. To your surprise, instead of venting, she was quiet and calm upon returning to her chambers.

Before she was ready to sleep for the night, you checked in one her one last time. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

With a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, she responded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

✧───────⊱✧⊰───────✧

You had never woken up more stressed out in your entire life.

All your training had culminated in this moment. You were to make sure that the princess arrived safely along with her appointed guards, and it was also up to you to make sure that everything went off without a hitch.

Such a small responsibility, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Well, for starters-

The castle you found yourself in was much larger than you anticipated, which was saying a lot considering the castle you lived in was already rather large.

Also, you weren’t the best with directions, but as long as you and Mina didn’t get separated, that shouldn’t be a problem.

And it wasn’t a problem…until it came time for her to meet the prince.

“We’re sorry, miss, but only high-ranking royal officials can be present for this meeting.” A guard held out his arm, blocking you from following Mina into the room. She frowned and tried to protest on your behalf, but her father wasn’t having any of it.

“She’ll be fine, we need to get a move on.” He grabbed a hold of her elbow and ushered her along, and you got one last look at her worried countenance before the doors closed.

Now was when the panic set in.

“I-I need water. Or just- something.” You said it aloud but didn’t really know if anyone would hear you or help you for that matter.

Thankfully, the guard who had just cut you off was kind enough to give you directions to the kitchen and dining area. You’d been there not too long ago when everyone was eating the meal that had been prepared, so surely – you thought – it wouldn’t be an issue to stop by and get a drink to calm your nerves.

That plan worked for all of about ten minutes before you re-entered the hallway from the dining room only to find nobody was around. No guards, no passerby, nothing.

It didn’t help that, from what you had seen, most hallways looked nearly identical.

You were officially lost. Alone, panicking, and lost in a castle you’d never been to before with no one in sight to help. Unsure of what else to do, since walking around aimlessly definitely did not seem like a good idea, you did what any normal person would do.

You sat down on the floor and wrapped your arms around your legs, resting your head on top of your knees.

This had to be your worst nightmare. You were separated from Mina, the one person other than yourself who you were responsible for taking care of, and you were also stuck in unfamiliar territory which was one of your biggest fears.

None of your training ever prepared you for this-

“Are you alright, miss?”

A soft voice filtered through your thoughts, making your head snap up. Your breath got caught in your throat.

There was a man kneeling down in front of you, his hand extended as he offered you a gentle smile.

Suddenly, your situation didn’t seem like such a nightmare anymore.

A/N: thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

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randomshyperson · 2 years

Text

Yellow Curtains - Chapter Eight - Wanda Maximoff Series

Summary: Wanda Maximoff's senior year at Novi Grad School is duly planned for her. She has good friends, good grades, and a good system to hide who she really is. Or, the one based on Evak from the Norway Skam series, where Wanda is queer and tries to survive the last year without anyone knowing about it.

Warnings: (+18), general warnings about language and violence, legal drug use, mentions of underage drinking, high school, internalized homophobia and discovery of sexuality, explicit mentions of mental disorders (bipolarity and depression), dysfunctional family, making out, and eventual smut.

A/N- So, the final chapter is here (I might have said somewhere that it would be 10 chapters? Idk where that came from; I can't do math that's clear) and I hope everyone had a great reading with this it surely meant a lot to me to write about bipolarity. Let's see what comes next.

Skamverse | Series | General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--

Chapter Eight - Minute by Minute

Četrtek 17:45 (Thursday 5:45 pm)

Wanda hadn't seen you in days. She had been keeping those thoughts away because she got a job - she was supposed to start next week -and Pietro had finally told his mother about the reason for the fight. Because he didn't want to involve Erik, he was waiting for his 18th birthday in February to take any legal action - if he decided to pursue any charges anyway. Natalya said that she would be with him for whatever he needed.

You hadn't shown up at school since Monday. Wanda tried not to look so worried; she had met the guidance counselor Agatha who told her that she had given you the freedom to take some days off, and study at home, whenever you needed, and the school had already been notified about your absence. In addition, Carol also said that you seemed fine, just a little grumpy and that you were working normally. She also mentioned that Peter had shown up at the apartment to take the rest of his things away.

And now, in the kitchen where Wanda was sitting at the table, cutting tomatoes for dinner, she didn't expect her mother to describe your appearance.

She blinked confusedly away from the task, looking at her mother who was pointing to the window.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Outside, dear." Natalya says. "There's a girl knocking on our neighbor's door. Is it someone you know? If it's a saleswoman let's pretend there's no one home..."

Pietro, who had gotten up to get a glass of his water, let out a laugh as he looked out the window. "It's Y/N Danvers, Mama. I bet she's looking for Wanda."

"Oh, is that a new friend?" Natalya asked curiously, but Wanda was already running out of the kitchen as soon as she wiped the fruit juice on a dishcloth.

She opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony at the same moment you were apologizing to her neighbor for the mistake.

"Y/N." She called out a little louder, and you turned your head, almost tripping over the step you were coming down. You smiled at her, before making your way to her entrance.

"Hey." You greeted gently, putting your hands in your pockets as soon as you passed the gate. "Did you know that identical houses don't help people with bad memories? I couldn't remember your place number and I've been bothering your neighbors for about twenty minutes."

Wanda hides a small smile. "You could have asked Nat."

"It was a last-minute decision." You shrug. "Besides this, it's more fun this way."

She swallows dryly. "What do you want?"

You sigh, but before you can speak, two figures are squeezing through the door behind Wanda.

"Aren't you going to introduce your friend, dear?" It's Natalya with a curious look on her face. You smile at her, nodding, and Wanda feels her ears heat up.

"Mama, that's Carol's sister, Y/N, a friend from school." She murmurs, looking at you only for a moment. You waste no time, moving forward several steps until Wanda can smell your perfume again in the closeness that occurs when you walk up the stairs and squeeze yourself next to her to shake Natalya's hand and greet Pietro as well.

"Hello, it's a pleasure." You say politely. Wanda looks out into the yard, away from the open buttons of your blouse that allow her to see part of your collarbone.

Natalya narrows her eyes a little. "You wouldn't be the reason my daughter has been so gloomy the last few days, would you?"

"Mama!" Wanda protests in shame, but you clear your throat quietly, stealing a glance at her before turning back to face Natalya.

"I am sorry to say that I am yes ma'am." You say upset. "I was unnecessarily rude and mean to her. But I am here to apologize, and make things right."

Natalya approves of your sincerity. "Well, it's a pretty mature decision. How old are you?"

"Eighteen, ma'am."

"And you work?"

"Yes, I am a parkour instructor for a gym in the capital."

"Interesting. Do you plan to go to college?"

Before you can answer, Wanda is giving you a gentle push by the hand. "Okay, end of the interrogation. We're gonna take a walk, okay? I'll be back for dinner."

"Goodbye, Mrs. Maximoff, it was a pleasure meeting you!" You waved goodbye, letting yourself be pulled by Wanda's hand out of the yard.

She didn't realize she was still holding it until around the corner, and let out an embarrassed exclamation that made you chuckle.

"Let's go this way." She pointed to the left, and you nodded before following her.

–//–

Četrtek 17:55 (Thursday 5:55 pm)

Rays of sunlight illuminated the playground where you both stood. Sitting side by side on the children's swings, Wanda studied the features of your face from the side as you stared at your shoelaces.

A long moment of silence stretched between you, and Wanda spoke before it became uncomfortable.

"You said you had something to tell me." She teased gently, making you smile.

Your gaze returned to hers, but only for a brief moment.

"I want to, but I don't know how to start."

Wanda firmed her foot on the floor to keep her swing from moving. "I've heard that apologies begin with I'm sorry."

You chuckle softly, and unlike her, your feet push a little dirt to rock your swing very gently.

"I'd like this to be my last apology but that's nearly impossible." You confess sincerely, and that surprises her a little. Your gaze meets Wanda's, searching for some kind of annoyance, but all you see is her curiosity. You sigh. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you last week, and for being absent for so many days. My head was a mess. It was the bad mood."

Wanda reaches out for the chain of your swing, following the rhythm of the gentle motion. "You don't have to go through any of this alone, Y/N. You know that, don't you?"

You look away, with a sad smile. You try to mumble that you do, but you don't believe it, and Wanda would probably realize it's a lie. It's all right, if it was for her, you would know that by heart.

"Maybe we should just not do this, Wan." You mutter looking away. Wanda feels her heart tighten in her chest. Your gaze returns to her, and it is as sad as your next words, "I am just going to hurt you, and then you will hate me."

She denies it with her head, and her hand leaves the chain to touch your wrist. "I would never hate you. Never. I want to be here, Y/N. For the best, and for the fucking worst too."

You don't reject her touch, but you give a humorless laugh.

"I can hardly stand myself, Wands. How can I ask you to do that?"

She releases her grip to slide her fingers down your hand, pulling you in and bringing it into her lap, where she intertwines your fingers. The motion of her swing begins to mimic yours.

"But that's my choice, you know? I want to be with you, and I don't need more than you."

A small smile emerges, but you shake your head, your free hand pushing your hair back.

"You say that now, when I'm okay. But when I'm not, I'll fuck it up and you'll go away-"

"Hey, stop, look at me." She gives your hand a squeeze and waits for you to obey. Her gaze, though gentle, contains no hesitation whatsoever. "Let's do something, alright? Let's stop thinking about tomorrow, and just slow down."

You frown softly. "What do you mean?"

She smiles, her thumb caressing your hand, and her gaze focused on yours. "For example... Do you think you can stay well for the next 60 seconds?"

You give a confused laugh, but with Wanda's look of encouragement, you nod. "Yeah, I can try."

She chuckles lightly, leaning over to bring her free hand up to your face. Her finger draws a heart on your cheek.

"Then we'll do it like this." She whispers like a secret. "All you need to worry about are the next 60 seconds. Not a week from now, or even tomorrow. Just the next minute. That's the way we're going to go, Y/N. Minute by minute."

You smile, resting your forehead on hers. Wanda strokes your cheek, smiling too. You just hold hands, and breathe together, for five, and then ten, and finally fifteen seconds.

"Can I use the rest of my minute to kiss you?" You ask in a whisper, and Wanda chuckles, nodding before you break the distance.

You both miss the feeling with all your hearts.

The sun has already set by the time you walk Wanda back home. She pushes you out of the window's view, against the entrance wall, to kiss you deeply goodbye, and you almost give up on leaving.

It's probably the happiest you've been in a long time.

–//–

Torek 15:10 (Tuesday 3:10 pm)

"I have a gift for you."

Wanda could imagine your expression, especially the little smile she loved because she thought it made you look charming, as you typed, "Really? Now I'm more excited than before. Come soon, Maximoff!" followed by two more 'Run! Get here soon!" with a giggle emoji below.

The subway was pretty quick, but Wanda still took almost forty minutes from Barton Construction to Novi Grad, at the Academy where you worked. She had to walk a bit but followed Google Maps to be able to find the small building.

It looked like a great place to work - besides the good location with several stores around, it was an open area, and before even passing the gate, Wanda could see you teaching outside to kids between 10 and 12 who seemed to be having the time of their lives jumping through false obstacles.

You two had been going out for a few weeks, taking things slowly as you agreed. And with school and work, you didn't see each other as often as Wanda would have liked, but that only made the moments together even more precious.

She announced her arrival at the gate to one of your co-workers, and as soon as class was over, you led the students out of the room and walked over to her.

Wanda giggled against your lips as you pressed her behind the lockers at the entrance to the locker room - a needy kiss that left her all flushed.

"You're sweaty." She teased, but you twitched your nose at her, kissing her again. Wanda was grateful for the hands-on her waist that provided support for her weak knees. "Aren't you hungry?" she reminds, half breathless from the exchange of affection, and you pull away only to kiss the tip of her nose.

"I'm going to take a shower and we'll have lunch in a minute." You say. "But can you please kiss me for real? I missed you."

Wanda giggles embarrassedly, looking away for a moment. "We're in the middle of your work, babe..."

"Just one kiss? I promise I'll return it to you later."

She giggles, but accepts, pressing your lips together. It is Wanda who slides her tongue into yours, pulling you by the shoulders to press her harder against the wall, and then breaks the kiss with an affected gasp.

"There you go, baby, now go take a shower." She prompted, shuddering at the way you were looking at her with your pupils fully dilated. "Y/N?"

You shook your head, grinning affectedly. "Okay, wait for me outside if you don't want the staff filling you with questions." Was your warning before you released her and headed for the locker rooms.

Wanda thought it was okay, and went to the reception desk, so she spent the next 20 minutes listening to questions from her co-workers who called her the mystery girlfriend you kept talking about. She didn’t mind.

–//–

Torek 15:35 (Tuesday 3:35 pm)

Wanda got off your back with a giggle. Although you had been the one working on physical activity so far, it was enough that she mumbled that her feet were a little sore from walking from the subway to there that you insisted on carrying her to where you were going to have lunch.

The food-truck area was empty, and you got a bench at the end of the hill that accommodated the food carts.

"What do you want, Italian, Sokovian, or Mexican? I think they're doing Thai now too."

"Surprise me." She retorted with a little smile, and you had to kiss her for it. You left a second later, going to buy the food, and Wanda adjusted your present in her jacket pocket.

You soon returned with lunch, and Wanda almost forgot about the gift because she got so caught up in the conversation. There were empty packages next to you when you entwined your hand in hers to play with her fingers while you asked: "Wasn't there something you wanted to give me?"

She exclaimed softly as she remembered. "Oh, that's right. Wait a second." She asked, releasing her hand to grab the gift from her jacket pocket.

You frowned slightly as the item was placed in your hands, a short chuckle escaping. "That's..."

"The church." She completed in expectation of your reaction. "I printed the picture and made it myself. Did you like it?"

You giggle, nodding, and twirling the item in your hand. It was a CD, with songs by Taylor Swift, but the cover was a picture of the church. Everything was handmade, and the dedication made your chest inflate with tenderness.

"I love it, Wands, that is really sweet."

"There's something else. Open it." She asks while studying your reaction as you busy yourself with obeying.

Inside is a CD, which also has handwritten markings in black pen. But what catches your attention the most is the song list on the inside. There are 20 tracks, all the songs that you imagine are Wanda's favorites, but the 21 just says 'I love you'.

You smile, kind of emotional, and stroke the track with your finger.

"Did that come from you, or is it an unreleased song?" You joke, receiving a light nudge but managing to make her laugh.

"It’s all coming from my dirty little heart." She teases back, and you smile, reaching over to kiss her gently for a long moment. Wanda sighs, but when she goes deeper you break apart. You brush your noses together, and whispers:

"I love you too, Wands. Never doubt or forget that." You ask, and she smiles, a hand going to your neck.

"I won’t."

–//–

Sreda, 23:12 (Wednesday, 11:12 pm)

Wanda's birthday is a bad day for you. It's all very unfair, you both think. You had been great the previous few days, incredibly supportive to her about the whole Pietro thing and how he had finally decided that he was going to pursue the case against Jake for the assault, and how Erik, as soon as he heard the news, said that they could stop counting on his financial support once they came of age for embarrassing him in front of the whole community.

Pietro would be starting work in a few weeks, he had gotten a trainee instructor position at your gym and Wanda was immensely grateful for this.

She had hoped that you would celebrate her birthday together, but on the day, you texted her.

"I don't feel well. I'm really sorry." And Wanda can't even blame you for that.

Pietro was sympathetic about the whole thing - While you were at home, buried under the covers as Carol informed Nat, who in turn informed the twins, Wanda went out. She wanted to stay with you, keeping you company, but you insisted that she enjoy her birthday, and your friends made sure of that.

Although she spent the day feeling a bit guilty, thinking about you alone, Wanda knew that there was nothing to be done, and tried to respect your request that she enjoys her 18th birthday celebration. Since it was a weekday, her friends took her to an arcade after school and promised that they would throw a decent party at the weekend.

Wanda came home with a dozen gifts, just like Pietro, and her first thought was to call you, even though you hadn't answered any of the dozens of messages she had sent you earlier.

"I don't think that's fair." Pietro declares from her door when Wanda has been staring at the screen of unanswered messages for some time. She blinks away and stares at him with confusion. He puts his hands in his pockets. "Why couldn't she just be there?"

Wanda sighs and blocks her cell phone, adjusting herself on the bed. "Don't be like that." She says seriously. "Y/N doesn't feel well. If she forced herself to go, she would be cranky and irritable all day. She'd end up saying things she'd regret, and I'd be worse off if she ruined the party than not going at all don't you think?"

Pietro hums grudgingly, shrugging. "I'm sorry, you're right. I know she likes you."

"She loves me, Pietro." Wanda corrects, and the boy gives a small smile, rolling his eyes in good humor.

"All right, birthday girl. Happy birthday and good night to you." He says, making her smile.

"Happy birthday to you too, Pietro."

She has already fallen asleep when a knocking sound wakes her up. Fighting sleep to get to her feet, Wanda shouldn't be so surprised to see you on her balcony.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" she asks confused, her hair half messed up and using one hand to scratch her eyes while the other opens the balcony door for you.

You stumble inside with a mischievous smile on your lips. "I felt better. I didn't want to miss your birthday."

She looks away at the little study table by the window, "But babe, it's late..." You cut her off with a kiss on the mouth, it's short, more like a greeting, but it makes Wanda smile.

"Happy birthday." You say, taking off your jacket as you walk away from her. The item goes to the couch in the corner of the room. "Come, I want to show you your gift."

You throw yourself on her bed, adjusting yourself against the pillow, and Wanda steals a glance at the closed door. You shouldn't have to worry about Mom or Pietro waking up, because it was just you, in her room, at night, alone..."

"Wands, come on." You rush her and she gives a little giggle before going to lie down beside you.

As soon as she is comfortable, you take the cell phone out of your pocket. Wanda twitches her nose in curiosity.

"Your cell phone is my gift?"

You laugh. "You're pretty funny, aren't you, Maximoff." You retort back, resting the cell phone on her stomach. "I made you a video with my amazing cinematography skills."

Wanda chuckles, watching curiously as you open the youtube app. Once she read the name of the video 'Deklica, ki ni mogla zadržati diha pod vodo' (The girl who couldn't hold her breath underwater) she let out a soft exclamation of protest. "Hey, I won that challenge!"

You giggle, turning your face to kiss her cheek quickly. "Watch the video, Ariel."

Wanda adjusted herself against you and clicked play. The title screen gave way to a montage of videos with the sound of La Vie En Rose - all recorded by you and her over the weeks of your relationship. Saved moments of Wanda cooking in your apartment, sleeping in your bed, studying with you. At school, waving from where she was talking to Nat and Carol, or standing next to you, making disgusting sounds to the couple in love. There were videos she recorded, of you training for work, doing push-ups on the bedroom floor with her on your back, both of you laughing your asses off. You, wearing social attire and offering a wink as you caught her recording through the reflection of the mirror.

Wanda, sleeping on your chest as you stroke her hair.

The video ends with you, speaking to the camera: "Zdravo lepo dekle! (Hello, beautiful girl!) I wanted to make something special for your birthday, something about all the happiness you are bringing me, and what better way than a video showing it? I hope you enjoyed the present, Wands. I love you. Happy birthday."

You put down your cell phone, looking at her for a reaction. Wanda thinks she might start crying at any moment, and once you see the tears in her eyes, you let out a sigh. "Is that a good sign or a bad sign?"

She laughs tearfully, leaning in to kiss you. Your cell phone slides off the bed as Wanda intensifies, straddling your lap to press you onto the bed. You gasp softly but respond. And she doesn't stop, which you honestly find incredible.

By the time your hands have moved up to her stomach under her blouse, and Wanda is panting on top of you, you break the kiss with a sigh.

"Wands, wait."

She stares at you with dark, but concerned eyes. "What's wrong?"

You smile, stroking her hip with your thumb. "You...are you sure? I want to, but your mother and brother are in the next room..."

"I'll be quiet." She assures you in a whisper, leaning in again to kiss you before giving your bottom lip a tug that makes you grunt. "Do you think you can be quiet too, babe?" She challenges affectedly, and you sigh deeply before flipping your positions on the bed with a single movement, stifling any sighs of surprise with a hungry kiss that Wanda matches in the same second.

Wanda likes this more than anything else. Your hands feel right, tracing every line of her body as if to memorize it. Your mouth is hungry but follows her motions. Wanda loves the sounds you make as if you are as affected as she is, even though you are in theory doing all the work.

She figures you have more experience, by the way, you steady your knee between her legs and cover her mouth before she moans loudly to the ceiling, and she tries to think of something other than the desire burning in her system but nothing but how much she loves and trusts you come up.

Your hands pull off her pajama top, and Wanda has to force her face against the pillow when your mouth latches onto one of her breasts. Your tongue teases the nipple, and you bite and suck and Wanda whimpers against the pillowcase, a hot tingling sensation spreading throughout her body. She struggles to throw her hips against you, but you only giggle, forcing her back on the bed by her waist.

"Calm down. There's no rush." You tease, cupping her hardened nipple, and have only half a second to cover Wanda's moan with your hand. "Damn, baby, I love those sounds but you need to be quiet. You don't want to wake up the other people in the house."

She grunts against your hand, a whimper threatening to tear her throat when you continue to grab and stimulate her breasts. "I-I need... more. Babe, please..."

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here. I'll give you what you need." You meekly assure, as affected as she is. Your hands reach down to pull on her pajama shorts, and once the item comes off, you turn your face to hers.

You kiss her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, and the tip of her nose before brushing your lips together. Wanda is ready to respond to your kiss when you slide your hand between her legs, pressing on her clit and drawing all the air out of her lungs. She chokes, and you kiss her, swallowing her moans that increase as you tease your way inside - first with one finger, and then with two.

The knee that has been applying pressure until now is the one that holds her legs open for you. And when you have stretched it far enough to move in, Wanda digs her nails into your back as she feels two fingers sliding in.

You both moan at the sensation. "Fuck, you're soaking wet." You grunt affected, feeling her pulsing in your fingerprints. "All this for me, my love?"

Wanda whimpers, hiding her face in your collarbone. She feels the stretch, but the pain has long since given way to throbbing pleasure. She needs you to move, or she thinks she's going to explode. And part of her thinks that might be a good thing.

Her hint is to push her hips against your hand, and you follow willingly, removing your fingers only to sink them again, and again, in a slow, intense rhythm as you turn your face to her, to kiss the sounds she lets out with each thrust.

"Baby..." Wanda whimpers, nails digging into your waist. "There's-fuck-something happening." She gasps with her eyes closed. You breathe her an affected laugh, curling your fingers inside her wet intimacy and making her see stars. Her body tenses and her legs twitch. You know exactly what is happening.

"Come for me, pretty girl." You ask with kisses on her jaw, your fingers never failing inside her. "I want to see you fall apart."

Wanda moans in your ear, struggling to breathe as her orgasm washes over her, the blinding pleasure making her clutch at you in desperation, squirming beneath you as she soaks your hand. You pant against her neck, kissing her skin as she calms down.

Once you rise to face her again, you meet Wanda's lazy eyes, and slide your fingers out, enjoying her sigh against your cheek.

You wipe your hand on her thigh, resisting the urge to sink into her again.

"Did you like it?" you ask in a whisper, rubbing your nose against her jaw before kissing her skin a few times. Wanda chuckles, still twitching lightly as she nods. "Was it good for you? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." She retorts in a false offense, her hands going to your neck. "I feel really good. Thank you."

You smile, kissing her before retorting, " Don't mention it." You whisper in a slightly teasing tone. "Can I sleep here? Just sleep. Or not just sleep, if you prefer."

Wanda laughs, pulling you to lie down on the bed next to her. "You don't even have to ask, darling." She reminds you, kissing you again, and again until you breathe a sigh. Wanda opens her eyes first and brings a hand to your cheek. She traces a heart with her index finger, and you smile, closing your eyes. She swallows dryly. "I love you."

"I know." You respond immediately, wrinkling your nose when she chuckles. You open your eyes at her, and stare at her. "I love you too, Wands." You assure her. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."

She frowns in surprise at the subject, but quickly shakes her head, providing an assured smile for you. "Don't be, it's not your fault. And you're here now, aren't you? And you gave me an incredible gift..."

"I'm glad you liked the video."

"Oh, I was talking about the sex but sure, the video is cool too." She jokes, giggling at your exclamation of indignation. You move on top of her, teasing her with tickles, and soon you are laughing together.

The noise is enough to wake her mother, and when the hallway light comes on, Wanda pushes you lying on the bed and covers herself with the sheet.

"Honey, are you still awake?" Natalya asks as she enters the room, her expression going from confusion to surprise at seeing you. "Oh, Y/N? I didn't know we had guests..."

"Hey, sorry, Miss Maximoff, I came to bring Wanda's birthday present." You clumsily clarify, trying to look decent despite the crumpled hair and clothes, hyper-conscious that Wanda was without her panties under the covers. The brunette next to you was completely red. "B-but maybe I should go, it's late-"

"Don't be silly, Y/N, it's unsafe this time of night." Natalya cut her off with a nod. "Since you're already here, take the guest room. Have you eaten?"

"Hmm- a few hours ago..."

"Good, we still have a little left over from dinner. Come, come."

"Okay..."

Wanda covered her face with her hand, ignoring your plea for help in your gaze to escape the unexpected dinner with her mother.

–//–

Sobota, 09:43 (Saturday, 09:24 a.m)

"Can I eat this?"

Wanda chuckles at your startled cat expression. You have been so adorable all day, respectful of this symbolic and more intimate version of what for years was a traditional Orthodox Shabbat of her family, that she thinks she is falling even more in love with each of your questions.

"Yes, darling." She assures, moving closer. "You're not Jewish, you can eat whatever you want."

"But I..."

"It's okay, Y/N. It's not disrespectful." She clarifies, pouring some of the grape juice from the table into two glasses. "Besides, you're kind of pale. This is your first time fasting, right?"

You chuckle embarrassedly, accepting the glass of juice. "I didn't want you to feel lonely."

Wanda smiles warmly, placing a hand over your face. "I never feel lonely with you, sweetheart. Besides this, Pietro also did the fasting. You didn't have to starve for me." You sigh, shrugging. Wanda raises her cup, to toast with you. "Eat to your heart's content. Please. You wouldn't want to pass out in front of my family, right?"

You grunt softly. "You've convinced me." You joke, taking a large gulp before focusing on the food table.

Around it, a dozen or so Maximoff family members circle around. Natalya and Wanda look beautiful in their dresses, and despite what Erik would call a blasphemous mix of Wiccan and Jewish cultures in one room, everyone there is having a great time.

Wanda's cousins run around, and her uncles chat. There is no electronic equipment on, and the light comes from candles and the sun itself outside through the wide open windows. In addition to Wanda's family, there are you, Natasha, and Clint, all dressed half-formally for the Maximoff Shabbat.

You leave the food table to sit in an armchair, engaging in conversation with Pietro, and Wanda is trying to pretend she's not stealing glances at you all afternoon.

"You both look happy." It is Natasha who says, coming to get some more juice. Wanda adjusts some napkins on the table, and waves to her friend.

"We are." She says with a smile. "Like, really. I didn't even know it was possible to love someone that much."

Nat smiles affectionately. "I'm glad you two have found each other." She says, making Wanda smile. They look away, at you laughing with Pietro, before your gaze meets Wanda's. You offer her a wink before returning to the conversation, and Wanda looks down to hide the soft pink of her cheeks.

Natasha watches Carol go out onto the balcony to answer the phone, and sighs lightly. "She's thinking about going back to New York." She comments, surprising the brunette next to her. But Nat smiles, "To NYU, Wanda. Carol sent her letters last week. If she gets in, she'd like to go back home."

Wanda steals a glance at you before facing the table again. "Y/N and I sent ours as well. Half of Europe, including Novi Grad. But she doesn't want to go back to New York."

Nat hums in understanding, changing hands off her glass. "Do you guys have any plans for the future?"

Wanda smiles, looking at you for a moment. "I don't know." She says. "Life is good right now. I'd rather enjoy every minute I have with her than grow anxious about what hasn't happened yet."

"That's clever." Natasha flatters with a smile, taking a long sip of juice. "Stop wasting time on me, Wands, go sit with your partner."

Wanda chuckles, hugging Natasha before pinching her nose in affection and turning away to go sit next to you on the couch.

Pietro is excitedly telling about another one of his pranks at school, and she takes the opportunity to slide her hand over yours, intertwining your fingers on your lap.

When one of Wanda's uncles enters the conversation, you divert your attention to her. "Everything okay?" You ask quietly, squeezing her hand gently.

She smiles, resting her face on your shoulder and kissing your cheek. "Everything is perfect."

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #skamverse collection #alt er love series #yellow curtains

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archivalofsins · 9 months

Text

Let's talk about Caligula Effect 2 and Milgram again today~ Though this may not make much sense or be hard to follow. Because still sick so I'm just typing stuff honestly.

I really like Cocoa #QP. She reminds me a lot of Mahiru. I've also finished Doktor's fight. To be fair I might have been a bit over leveled for it. So, he went down pretty easy. Yet, that's not the only reason I'm here.

I'm actually here to discuss how people put themselves and others into boxes and how that's impacted Milgram. This is something discussed over the course of Gin Noto's character story. Mostly showcasing how sometimes not having an exact box to fit into can cause a person emotional distress or to feel alienated.

There's discussion to be had around how labels and boxes are a way for some to foster not only a sense of community but a sense of self. Tangent I feel that this is why Caligula Effect 2 is very hit and miss for me because most of the lessons in it are things I already know. Plus, the narrative can be a bit more on the nose and leading than it was in the first game.

Something that makes a bit of sense consider how the first one was received. However, I tend to like the first games and Milgram's way of letting the audience draw it's own conclusions. Being put in a position where one has to think for themselves, and they only have themselves to blame for the conclusions they've drawn is far more invigorating to me then having everything spelled out for me. All nice and neat.

Yet, even though Caligula Effect 2 is very heavy handed in my opinion and this makes the characters rather grating in certain areas. There were still things that I feel went over a lot of people's head. That I feel Yamanaka is striving to hone in on through Milgram.

That thing being bias and idolization. Because the player is with the Go Home Club and those are the characters who the player gets to know through character episodes the audience leaves Caligula Effect 2 feeling more sympathetic for the Go Home Club members while it's far easier to ostracize and other the musicians.

The Go Home Club members direct parallels. Even easier for one to downplay how the Go Home Club members threat these other people within the narrative because through playing you learn more about these characters and feel as though you have adequate explanations for their behavior and the times they do end up lashing out.

The Go Home Club members end up lashing out a lot. In very unjustified ways where it's clear that they are taking out anger they hold towards themselves and their own personal situations out on the musicians. Hell Kiriko, flat out admits she did this to the second musician we fight. The only redeemable thing in that encounter is the fact that Kiriko and Pandora are doing the same thing in that instance projecting personal issues on the other party.

However, this continues to be a consistent issue the Go Home Club Members have when encountering the musicians moving forward. The most egregious examples of this being Mu-kun and Gin Noto in my opinion because Gin just hates on this guy and trash talks all his dreams when the dude is genuinely curious about why we want to leave.

Something not really fixed in my opinion by the implication that Gin was a fan of their music or them later. Like the treatment Mu-kun faces is so undeserved that the plot literally pulls a Deus Ex Machina to have him forget the last seven days entirely. Because he's still rightfully mad and doesn't give a fuck about Gin's apology after everything that occurred.

Because people don't need to be nice to you after you take all your personal frustrations out on them. Turning this whole ass other person with feelings into an object for you to release your hate and anger out on for a cheap bit of a catharsis is dick behavior and no one has to accept and I'm sorry about that after it's done to them. Just because someone is having a bad time doesn't mean it's okay for them to make someone else's time bad.

Yet, this isn't really something I've heard discussed when it comes to Caligula Effect 2. No one has gone yeah that was a very rude way for them to consistently treat the musicians. In fact I've been streaming it and most of the stream I've been a bit on edge because I've been seeing these assholes do asshole things. Yet, I keep being told there will be something that will excuse it later you'll find out why it was actually okay they treated people like this later.

While every part of me is like yeah I don't think there's much that excuses this behavior. I don't think there's one damn infallible reason to treat another person struggling with their own things the way I've seen these people treat others. While the game is completely showcasing that it is not okay to treat others like this regardless of what you have going on.

Through characters like Sasara, Shota, and literally how most of the group reacts to Gin's behavior in the planetarium with the same distaste and drawing of attention to the change in attitude that was shown towards Mifue's behavior during the Sweet-P incident. Like why are you so mad this isn't like you.

Yet, again because people have grown to know these characters through playing the game benefit of the doubt is immediately extended to them and a us vs them mindset is formed. Giving off this feeling of how could you be sympathizing with the musicians. How could you feel this treatment is out of place? I mean it kind of is but they have their reasons.

Cool what if those reasons don't justify in anyway how they treat others and by extension themselves to me? What if it is my personal belief that regardless of what goes on in someone's life they shouldn't make whipping boys out of themselves and those around them. What if childishly I believe living this way is unhealthy and unproductive? What if it's not excusable to me to deny yourself and those around you happiness simply because you've taught yourself to hate yourself without measure for one reason or another.

What if for as much as I understand where the mentality is coming from I'm at a point where I recognize that is not an excuse for how that mentality impacted others and at points could have done irreversible harm if someone didn't intervene? Which it gets to that point a few times actually.

Well, that's when the bias that Caligula Effect 2 seeks to highlight comes in. This is highlighted first through the glorification and idolizations of the original go home club and μ by X. What can a person defend just because they have a good relationship with someone. Just because they're someone's kid. How willing are they to assume the worst of everyone around them because everybody is someone pulling down the name of their favorite person.

Is enough for them to not care for humans without even knowing much about them? Is it enough for them to break into someone's else's mundane everyday- Dragging that person back to reality because they need the help. Because they need to prove mom didn't cause this and the mean humans need to stop blaming her for everything. How much is it worth to crush someone else's dream? How far are people willing to go to get what they want and does it matter what they do to get there? Do the ends justify the means?

Possessing someone else's body without warning making it so if the one did that were to die that person would die too. None of that matters. Talking all this good shit about people she doesn't even know lauding them on high just because of what mommy told you. The first go home club members were good people- That's a funny thing to just say without any firsthand knowledge. Mommy said so and that's enough? She doesn't even know these heroes that saved the world and showed her mom the error of her ways or what it took to get to that point.

Yet, X created this silly fairy tale of grandeur and good intentions. How childish and gross. I hope she grows up one day~ Then we get to the root of the issue with Doktor-

"I'd care more about one of you being sad than a bunch of humans I barely know."

Ingroup bias. Or basic favoritism. People are more likely to be kinder to those they view as being on their side and do more for those they view as emotionally important. Sound familiar-

"“Throw down”, someone’s value cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."

This person is more important simply because I will it to be so. I think it therefore it is. I feel that they're more important therefore they are. Of course they had their reason for behaving in this way. I know this person well enough to say it was justified. I know them well enough to know they're good/can be good.

I don't want to questions if they've just been good to me, if they could be wrong, if someone could be a victim to them. Because that would mean I don't know a good person when I see one that would mean I could be bias. That would mean I could forgive something unforgivable if it was just attached to a person I liked- Oh, well that's just Milgram isn't it?

That's just like Milgram except instead of holding your hand to that conclusion Yamanaka is watching you leap towards it willingly this time. Because bias hurts. Bias is inherently unempathetic. Because bias will always create an us against them scenario. A Go Home Club in oppossition to musicians. It's much easier for the human brain to frame those in direct oppossition to them as wrong regardless of how polite they're being about it. Regardless of if they're about to be physically assaulted in front of you. Hell even if they were on your own side but it turns out cutting them down happens to be an easier way to your goal.

It came up in one that we were crushing peoples dreams. That there were people who could only get their happiness in Mobius. That there were possibly hundreds of thousands of people who could not do the things they could do within here in the real world. Without much pause and completely recognizing this was the case the first go home club continued forward with what they wanted. Because the only thing worth crushing another's dreams is a dream of one's own. Fact is if anyone wants to go home they have to come to terms with the fact that the dreams of some of these people are things that are absolutely impossible in reality.

That sort of person would have to constantly spit in the faces of those who may want to stay here to do that. Spit in the faces of the people this world was made for even. Never once discussing how easy it is to face reality when a person has one to go back to at all and never touching on the people who may not. At least as far as I know right now that's not happening but it might. Again in one we talk about this tentatively and the go home club feels bad but ultimately decides to leave because it's what they want to do. However, their is recognition of our own desires conflicting with and ruining the wishes of others.

Because virtual or real the reality is when it comes to the wishes of others someone is always getting the short end of the stick. Because not everyone's wishes can come true. Sometimes one person's wish conflicts with another's. Because of this there can never be a world without regrets. Because sometimes one person's happiness can be another persons misfortune. That can be a regret in itself.

Yet, that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive towards what will make us happy. Just because things are like that doesn't give anyone the right to step on others and end their lives just because they were having such a hard time. That's not fair, that isn't right. Everyone is having a hard time what makes this hard time so different from anyone else's? What makes it forgivable.

The only thing that does is that feeling in people's chest that tells them that they know this person. That there's good in this person that they have their reasons. The reasons they've projected on them, the reasons they can sympathize with, the reasons that make it all make sense in their book. Yet, those reason come at the expense of someone else's good name, someone else's life. It comes at the expense of dehumanizing someone in the worst way making them out to be a problem that needed solving instead of a person that was deserving of the exact same consideration being shown to the people that hurt them.

No one is above bias and that's why sin isn't easy. Milgram shouldn't be easy. It's not meant to be easy. People aren't easy- Relationships not only to individuals but groups aren't easy. Because easy things are painful. Easy things ignore the intricacies of a situation that people are usually suffering under.

Easy puts the fault on individuals instead of systems. Easy says the Go Home Club Members and the Milgram characters had to repond how they did because life was hard on them. They didn't have a choice. Conveniently without ever touching on why life was hard, if it had to be, who made it that way, the services and systems that failed these people over and over. Because why change the way things have always been when one can just put it on the individual to save themselves and choose whether or not that's forgivable or not later. Why think about it any harder when we can wait for a crime to happen and then administer the punishment?

Let's keep it simple. Sure they couldn't hack in their environment but others could so they're the odd ones here. Let's just have the punishment fit the crime and if I can forgive I can forgive. No need to think more deeply of it. That's how this has always worked. That's how Milgram is. It's how people are giving excuses to those they biasely like and having no mercy for those they don't. Be more bias because that's the best way to make it hurt more.

None of this is meant to be easy. Honestly, if it is for anyone then chances are they just haven't thought about it enough. Because bias isn't all fun and games. When a person is bias the only thing that comes from it is pain regardless of how positively or negatively they view someone/something. There are boxes and there are cages bias is a cage that doesn't help anyone.

#gunsli rambles #milgram #caligula effect 2

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narrans · 9 months

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The Orion's Daughter : To Lands Beyond | Chapter Seven : Forms and Family Names

**~~~~~**

Chapter Seven | Forms and Family Names

**~~~~~**

I laid back against the grass and stared up at the bright blue and seemingly endless sky. I was completely out of breath. I closed my eyes and let myself relax just for a moment. I knew Steele would have me at it again in just a moment, but I decided to enjoy this moment with every fiber of my being.

The air has turned from the burning of the warm months to those of change. Already, the leaves started to fade from green to dozens of other shades of reds, browns, and golden oranges. The promise of the cold months was on the horizon. Still, it didn’t stop the blazing sun from baking the ground, and me with it.

As I laid on the ground, I felt my muscles twitching and aching, the pain washing over me like waves in the ocean. One moment, it was a dull ache, and the next it might be a harsh pinch or throb.

Still, I would not change it for anything.

For these past few moons, Steele has been putting me under every test imaginable. If I was not learning common script and letters with Mehlein, I was training and learning with Steele. His knowledge of practically everything under the sun made him such an asset to me. I felt like I could spend a thousand years with him and still not know everything there was to know.

We started with different histories of the land and significant events in history, both from his land and my own. He taught me about some of the great wars as well as some of the natural disasters that occurred, as well as how to combat the tragedy and restore balance.

It was something he was very insistent and passionate about – balance.

He talked about how there was a give and take in this and every world beyond the stars, which really made me think about what else could be out there. The possibility of worlds like ours but so different at the same time was mind numbing, and I loved it.

Next, he taught me about strategies using games and scenarios. I knew it was to grow my mind, but this is something I struggled with quite a bit when he first introduced the topic to me. The games were simple, but recently he started to make them harder. The games consisted of certain amounts of supplies and soldiers. I had to move them from one point to another without casualties, minimal supply use, and as fast as possible.

Over time, he would throw in different scenarios and tragedies. There would be natural disasters and realistic injuries I had to learn how to deal with. Sometimes, I had to divide my forces, and other times I needed to keep everyone together. I wasn’t always successful, especially in the beginning. However, a few moons of practicing and working through the different scenarios made the games a little easier. I was able to see patterns in how Steele worked, and I used them to my advantage.

When he realized I had picked up the patterns, he changed them, sadly leaving me in defeat once again – but I wasn’t going to give up.

We had a game later in the afternoon tomorrow, but now was not the time to worry about that. Right now, I focused on breathing and relaxing my body, forcing my mind to function. I knew that Steele would not let me rest for very long, but just because my body needed a rest didn’t mean that my mind needed a break.

Mentally, I was primed and ready to charge forward in my learning.

So, as I laid there, I went over the words I knew from Steele’s language. He had been teaching me intermittently, but the list of words I knew had increased tremendously.

Viyoo-en rhonor meant are you alright. Please was vandri. Mother was naterma. Thank you was bromidian. Stop was zhanth. Apologies, or I’m sorry, was ptiedier. There were other things like counting that I had gotten very good at, but only up to nineteen. The twenties were a bit harder for me for whatever reason. I needed to practice them more. I was nowhere near as good as my momma and I could only hope to catch up to her sooner than later, but, for now, I knew what I knew and that was enough.

After a few minutes longer, I heard Steele clear his throat, which was a clear indicator that it was time to get back to work.

“Terrilyn? Do you want to continue?” asked Steele. I heaved another breath before glancing up into Steele’s violet eyes. Something about them held a not-so-subtle amusement at my exhaustion. It took effort despite my protesting muscles, but I managed to get to my feet and once again took the correct stance in front of Steele, placing my right foot back and making sure most of my weight was on it. I kept my hands up, fists clenched the way he told me and didn’t tuck my thumbs in this time.

Steele leaned forward ever so slightly, his torso looming over me a bit, as he evaluated my form. His finger approached, but I didn’t shy away. I welcomed it. He carefully prodded my back, checking to see if my stance was able to withstand a gentle push from the tip of his finger. I could tell he needed a moment, and so I held that position.

Despite hours of training and the exhaustion of my body, I felt completely sound and determined. I was not going to bend or break - not after today. Another minute of evaluating and then Steele leaned back to his sitting position as I stood on the dirt mound.

“Good,” he complemented. “Now. First position.”

I fell into first position, letting my left foot sweep back as I kicked and lashed out with a back handed fist.

“Switch.”

The simple command made me spin on my heel to face behind me in the blink of an eye.

“Good. First, then third, then nine.”

The sequence was the one that started the fifteen-stance exercise that wore me out.

I spun on my heel once more, leaning on my back left while lashing out with a back fist from my closed right hand. I then lunged forward, punching out with my right hand followed by a kick. Ninth was tricky, but I was determined to get it this time. I spun on my heel and swung my left with a roundhouse kick. This time, I managed to stick the landing, but I was far from done.

Steele continued increasing the movements by two until I was up to seventeen when, as I sprung forward for a high front kick, I lost my balance and tripped down the hill, skidding my knees against the grass.

I laid there, once again, and stared at the sky.

I took a few deep breaths of the clean, wildflower smelling air, feeling the way my heart pounded and raced. The sequences were getting harder and faster, and I was definitely feeling each and every practice session that Steele and I had together.

After hearing Steele’s thoughtful chuckle, I saw his hand lower and rest right beside me.

“Care for a hand up?” Steele asked. I could hear the thoughtful caring as well as the amusement in his aged voice, and I welcomed it. Still, I was not ready to get back to it. I let out a puff of air and let it blow away one of the strands of my auburn hair that slipped out of the ponytail I put it in away from my face.

“If I sit up, do we have to get back to it immediately?” I asked. It felt like I needed to use all of the energy I had left to call up to Steele, making sure I spoke clearly. I knew in that moment that Steele felt completely conflicted. I saw the amusement and firm hand rise to tell me no, but the softer, gentler side rose up to meet it, and won.

“Very well. You do not need to start immediately. We can talk instead,” said Steele. Satisfied, I lifted my throbbing arm and rested my hand against his. I could feel his pulse against my fingertips, and I let his warmth, not the warmth of the day, spread through me. It somehow soothed my muscles and gave me new energy.

At least, it gave me enough energy to pull myself up onto his palm and lay with my back pressed against the side of his hand. He kept his hand there for me, unwavering, as I continued to catch my breath.

I looked back up into his features after a minute, my breath and heart finally under my control once again and nodded.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” I asked. I didn’t want there to be too much silence between us - not when he had so many things he needed to teach me.

“Well,” said Steele. He pulled his lips into an inquisitive purse off to the side as if in suspicious disbelief while his brow furrowed in contemplation. From where I was, I could see every all of the different smatterings of lightening dark blond and gray in his facial hair. “You could choose the topic, or I could talk of… eh… koonyardo vi… weak points on hands and limbs if you are in a tight spot.”

I felt excitement at that second option.

“Could you talk about the pressure points please?” I asked, remembering my manners this time. The last time I asked him to talk about something, I all but demanded it, shouting ‘that one that one’ and interrupting the other options. Steele smiled warmly, but I saw the glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Say it in my tongue, and perhaps I will,” he stated. I knew he was going to tell me regardless, but it was the true effort he wanted to see out of me.

I liked that about him.

He didn’t care if I was right or perfect. He just asked that I try with as much effort as I could.

Sadly, my effort was going to be very little. Some of the words he wanted me to use were ones I just memorized, and I just knew that I was going to get the pronunciation wrong in so many ways.

“Ooofff… alright,” I said as I conjured the words from my currently muddled mind. “Sa… wait… no… um… oh, yeah. That’s it. Vandri, sabon… ke….”

Steele must’ve seen the bit of panic in my eyes and the hesitation in my stuttering words and took pity on my floundering because he simply chuckled thoughtfully, as a wise grandfather would do, before he stated the phrase in his language.

“Vandri, sabon ke’tzellel rraha snikrik tab-va f-veryon,” stated Steele, making sure to speak slowly and deliberately so that I could hear the pronunciation of each and every word.

“Vandri, sabon ke’tzellel rraha snikrik tab-va f-veryon?” I bit my lip and hoped that I had managed to do his language some kind of justice. Steele made his language sound so beautiful and effortless. Even when momma said it, she seemed so certain and was able to spit out the words with ease. She had spent more time with Steele, and I had a lot to catch up on, which is exactly what this exchange taught me.

Steele smiled and nodded.

“Very good,” he said. I felt my heart swell with joy as I saw the twinkle of pride in Steele’s violet eyes. “Do not forget to roll or flip the ‘r’ sound against your tongue and keep the ‘n’ sound softer to where you almost do not hear it.”

“I won’t forget,” I said firmly, repeating the words and rules over and over in my head and softly out loud so I committed it to memory. Steele smiled proudly again and waited patiently to see my eyes meet his before continuing.

“To do this, you need to sit on the heel of my hand to see the points I… eh… koonyardo vi… reef-fur to,” stated Steele.

“Refer?” I asked, hoping to help him just as much as he has helped me.

“Ah! Yes. Bromidian. Refer. Points I refer to,” said Steele. I nodded and hoisted myself up onto his hand and practically crawled onto the heel of his palm because my limbs were practically screaming in protest with every movement I made.

Once I made it, Steele began pointing to different fingers and explaining how to pinch and twist them to place someone into submission easily.

“You pinch the little one like this,” he said as he took his pinkie finger, curled it in toward his palm, and squeezed on the bunched, curled up finger. “Moving it like this is not normal and painful for the body. Then, bending the wrist back can bring an enemy to their knees.”

“I see,” I said.

“Good. Then, notice how your arm twists as you move,” said Steele, rotating his left arm for me to see as a demonstration. Steele continued to explain as he lowered his left arm and pointed to different spots on his arm and hand. “By grabbing the hand here and twisting along this line here, you can pry someone’s hand off of you and get them in a submissive stance.”

“So, I’m supposed to twist and push down like this?” I asked. Instantly, as I performed the motion Steele told me about, I felt a twisting pain shoot through my limb. I didn’t even twist very hard and yet knew this was a very strong power move to be used if someone tried grabbing me.

Steele continued for the next hour talking about different poses and maneuvers to use. One of them, which was really useful and simple, was anticipating someone lunging, snagging their wrist, pivoting, and then using their forward momentum and weight against them as you forced them to the ground and pinned them there.

The more he spoke, I saw that there was something in his eyes. I could not quite place the emotion. It almost looked reminiscent at times, but other moments it was sprinkled with pain and renewed knowledge.

The more Steele talked, the more I started to wonder whether or not he had explained these things before to someone else. With the ease of his explanations, I could only assume he had done this at least a few times before.

An unexpected pang hit me full on in the chest. All I could think of was all of the people Steele had told this knowledge to and how I wished that I could be learning things like this from my own father. I wondered about him for a moment.

Would my father know how to fight? Was he any good at fighting? Or was he more of a scholar. You could be one and the other, as Steele demonstrated every day from his expansive knowledge and his use of tactics and skill. Was he a smooth talker? A diplomat who could talk his way out of conflict?

As I wondered these things, another painful pang hit me and made my heart clench.

What did it matter wondering these things about him?

I would never see him.

I would never meet him.

What good did it do thinking about him and all of the things he failed to teach me when he left my momma?

I must’ve stopped paying attention just long enough for Steele to notice, because I felt his index finger reach up and brush against my shoulder tenderly.

“Terrilyn? Are you alright? Are you finished for the day?” asked Steele. I didn’t realize it, but I suddenly felt warm moisture at the corners of my eyes. Why was my vision blurry?

“Um… yeah… I mean… yes. Sorry. Or, um…. Ptiedier. I was just thinking about something. I was distracted. That was rude. I’m sorry,” I stammered, realizing only after a moment that I had thrown in an apology in his tongue. Steele, instead of accepting and continuing the lesson now that I was paying attention, unfolded and then refolded his legs to readjust his sitting position and lifted the hand that I was in so he could rest his arm against his knee.

Waves of concern seemed to emanate from him and wash over me, only giving me that compressed feeling in my chest more. My cheeks started to feel warm. Everything tingled. I wanted him to look away and continue with the lesson, but it somehow felt like everything came to a screeching halt with my mental wanderings.

After a few more moments, Steele did as I predicted and began to ask questions of his own.

“Thinking? About what?” Steele asked. That concern in his voice did not help that compressed feeling in my chest. I felt so cornered and vulnerable all at once, but it oddly didn’t make me feel helpless. It was like my momma was asking me a question – asking to know and to help rather than just for the sake of gathering information.

Somehow, someway, Steele felt my momentary hesitation or saw my internal conflict and, in his way, offered comfort. “Terrilyn, you do not have to tell me if you do not want to. Just… if I have done something to hurt or offend, I want to apologize.”

I felt my insides flip guiltily. It was not his fault, and he didn’t need to apologize. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and turned around to face Steele.

“No, don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault. I was just… thinking,” I said. My mouth felt dry like I stuffed cotton in my cheeks, but I felt some odd urge to talk about the thoughts rattling around in my head that led me on my mental tangent. I let the warmth from Steele’s palm spread through my body to give me the reassuring boost I needed to voice what I had kept in my mind and heart for so long.

“I was just thinking about… my dad.”

There was a silence after my statement that was filled only with the gentle breeze with the smell of warm flowers mingled with it. The words seemed to sink into Steele’s mind slowly, like water through one of his water filters, when his eyes narrowed and he nodded thoughtfully.

“I understand,” he said softly, his thunderous voice rumbling deep in his chest. “You did not know him?” I shook my head, glimpsing my auburn curls that managed to slip out of my ponytail as they fell into my face.

“No. He left before I got to know him. I don’t even have his family name to go find him,” I muttered, remembering my momma explaining this to me when I asked why our family names were different.

“Family name? What is yours?” asked Steele. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. I don’t know why I felt embarrassed. Perhaps it was because I had not talked about it before with him or because it was a reminder of what I had been teased about for years of my life. I picked at the dirt under my nails for a moment before responding.

“Lun. It’s Terrilyn Lun, and my momma is Raina Toro,” I replied. “Lun comes from the time of day I was born, since it was at night, and because my father… didn’t give me his name.” Steele nodded slowly. I felt his hands trembling just beneath me. Was it because of age? Or was it from frustration and emotion?

One glance up into his violet eyes told me it was because of his emotions. He was obviously upset for me but was doing what he could to conceal and control his emotions as to not upset me.

He is so thoughtful that way.

“Ptiedier, Terrilyn. I did not know…”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just how things are,” I said, forcing a bit of a smile onto my face as I gazed up at Steele’s concerned features, his expression wrinkling his crow’s feet by his eyes and furrowing his brow. “It’s just… I wish I knew more about him. I wish he taught me things the way you’re teaching me. I… don’t ask momma about him because I know it will upset her, but it doesn’t stop me from being curious and wanting to know.”

Steele readjusted his sitting position, being careful as I sat there on his palm, before a melancholy, curious expression filled his face.

“What did you want to know?” asked the older Orion. I squirmed a little as I sat there, thinking about everything I wanted to ask my dad.

“You know… just… anything,” I replied. “Like, asking him about what it was like growing up and what kind of plants are good and bad to eat. I’d know if he was a scholar like one of those educated types or if he was stronger and could take a punch. Just… a little bit of everything. That’s why I love spending time with you. You teach me so much. You taught me about your language, and you tell me stories. You’re teaching me to fight and to think. You care about me, like how momma cares about me.”

There.

I said it out loud.

I managed to get out some of those wretched words that had been rattling around in my head for as long as I could remember. In a weird way, I felt a weight lift from my chest. It felt like the compression ended just a little, but it was still there. Just because I voiced something didn’t mean it would make the feeling go away. I should have known that it wouldn’t leave me, even though I wished it would.

“I am sorry to hear this,” apologized Steele. His left index finger came up and brushed my back gently, which made me smile. “Can I do anything to help?” I thought about it for a long moment, thinking about everything Steele had already done for me. Was there anything more that he could do that he wasn’t already.

I ended up shaking my head.

“No, I just…” I looked into his violet eyes and felt that weight lift just a little bit more. If I was behind honest with myself, more time spent with him seemed to lessen the burden in my heart. I had no real words how to describe what was going on. I felt confused, but also determined. Steele had done so much for me and continued to do so much every single day.

Instead of trying to verbalize all of my thoughts, I decided on something different that would mean just as much to him.

I wiggled my legs out from under me and laid down on Steele’s palm, spreading my arms as far apart as I could in an effort to hug his entire hand before muttering a single word.

“Bromidian.”

Steele’s smile was so genuine – so warm – and I knew that he cared for me as if I were his own. His fingers curled lightly over me as he nodded.

“Youl-heiris,” he smiled. I closed my eyes and, though the day was still burning warm, I let myself lay against his hand. At some point, he readjusted to lay on his back and laid me against his chest. I stayed curled up against his chest, listening to the sound of his deep, rumbling breath and the gentle thumping of his heart pulsing beneath me.

At some point, the both of us drifted off, Steele’s calloused hand laid gently over me like a tent. The last thing I remembered was gently grasping at the vast canvas of cloth that made his shirt. When we woke, Steele decided we had worked enough for the day and that, the next day, he would teach me about swords and knives.

“You are doing well in your stances and switches. We will start with sticks, but it is important to know these other skills,” said Steele.

Once again, I felt invigorated and determined to learn everything I could from Steele. What was more exciting was that I was about to learn about weapons – something that only boys got to study and learn about. Excited beyond words, I made sure to stretch and eat well at dinner to be ready for the next day.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Beginning

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Book One: The Orion’s Factotum

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navigating-after-trauma · 5 months

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To Intervene or Not To Intervene

Trigger warning: attempted familial murder, potential intergenerational abuse

I'm so terrified of generational abuse being perpetuated through the family, but with my brother now engaged, that fear just became so much more real.

For some context, I have an abusive biological father. He doesn't have any diagnosis as far as I am aware and I'm currently not a licensed professional that can make any diagnoses, but I suspect he has a narcissistic and/or antisocial personality.

I have two older brothers and of the three, only my middle brother, who I will call T, has a good relationship with our father.

As kids, our mom got all three of us into martial arts among a solid handful of other activities. Being siblings, we often got paired up for wrestling practice. During said practice one day, I accidentally kicked T in the stomach, and granted, I can see why anyone wouldn't be too happy with that happening to them, but what he did next was unwarranted.

Being older and stronger, he pinned me down. If I was on my back, he would press his forearm into my throat, putting his full weight on it. If I managed to get on my stomach, he would wrap his arm around my throat and squeezed. It wasn't close to being like it could have been an accident. He was clearly intentionally leaning on my throat, even when I tried to push his arm off, and just kept on doing it, wrestling practice be damned.

I tried to push him off me. I tried to wriggle out from under him. No matter how much or how hard I struggled to get out from under him, I could not get him off of me. No matter what I did, he would not stop, his intent very clear on his face.

That's what scared me the most. I still remember the feeling of my throat closing every time he pressed his forearm into it. I thought I was going to die right there in the dojo, surrounded by people and yet no one noticing what was going on, wrestling the perfect excuse and disguise for what he was doing to me.

I was helpless.

Since then, he has never apologized for it, shown any amount of remorse, or even acknowledged it. Him having done this, as well as having the best relationship with out biological father, I wonder how much he's like our father.

With his recent engagement, I am now worried for his girlfriend. If my brother is abusive like our father, I don't want someone else to get pulled into the same abusive trap and potentially bring children into the same situation. They've been together for just over 9 years now, so it's not like they haven't been committed, but marriage makes relationships so much more entangled and harder to get out of since it is legally binding.

I've been contemplating telling his girlfriend about what T has done to me in the past and warning her about what our family is truly like beyond what she may be aware of. I wish I had someone take me out of the abusive environment and now I want to be that person for her if my brother really is abusive like our father.

There's drawbacks though.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula says there is no way to warn people about narcissistic people (her video on it here). The only way for them to learn is for them to experience the relationships for themselves.

I'm also scared of the fallout that might occur if I try to come forward. I already mentioned it once to my step dad and he didn't believe what my brother did was actually him trying to kill me, that he also used to think his sister tried to kill him by leaving toys on the floor for him to trip on (even though it was very apparent my brother was trying to kill me), that my brother is grown up now. I may be ostracized from my family if they don't believe me and think I'm just trying to ruin my brother's relationship.

Granted, he could have changed since then, but he may also not have changed. Narcissists have this way of manipulating people and appearing nice but be worse than terrible behind closed doors. I have no idea what my brother does when no one else is looking.

I just want to prevent anyone from experiencing what I lived for years, but Dr. Ramani also brought up another point: at the end of the day, it is not my job to save people from these relationships. If there is no way for me to get people out of narcissistic relationships, my time and energy is spent elsewhere. I agree with this, but I also can't help but to think that I would be terrible if I knew something bad was going to happen and I didn't do anything to stop it.

At this point, I'm still trying to grapple with this dilemma in my head. I want to help people, but I also just want peace after all I've been through. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

#ptsd recovery #ptsd #complex ptsd #trauma #trauma survivor #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse

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punkscowardschampions · 9 months

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Gia & James & Chloe

Gia: I would have talked to you in person on Sunday but your family were absent

Gia: and I don’t wish to bother a pregnant woman with the admin of this holiday but Seb and I can’t attend, our apologies

James: No, my apologies we weren’t there to have this conversation face-to-face

Gia: We’ve had Chloé in our lives long enough to become accustomed to her whims and ways, it borders on expected by now

James: She is pregnant, certain allowances must be made for that

Gia: It isn’t my Sunday dinner, I don’t care

Gia: actually, once Teds and Mummy were suitably sloshed, we got to talk shop with Daddy, it was very productive

James: I’m happy you were able to make the best of it

Gia: What else would one do?

Gia: but no, tell her many thanks for the invite, of course

James: Quite

James: and yes, behaving otherwise would be awfully thoughtless of me

Gia: Seb couldn’t possibly leave the city on such short notice

Gia: I really don’t know how daddy is swinging it but we’ll manage, of course

James: I understand

James: perks of being the boss, I suppose

Gia: One day, for you

James: Of course

James: nevertheless, I’ll still be beholden to the demands of half term, however high in the ranks I ascend

Gia: No one takes their children’s holidays off, only teachers get those kinds of perks

James: How are [the names of Seb’s children that are closer to Teddy’s age than Jay’s] spending theirs?

Gia: I don’t know, they’re with their mother, I think they have a place in [some European country]

James: Oh, well I hear [said european country] is lovely this time of year

Gia: It’ll be why she insisted on taking it in the divorce, I imagine

James: Not that you begrudge her any assets

Gia: You know my feelings on the woman, James

James: Indeed, you’ve made them plain

Gia: You say that as if I’ve said it to her botched face

James: If I’m aware of them, she undoubtedly is

Gia: I have nothing to do with her, I fail to see how, they talk through lawyers, when necessary

James: Perhaps Seb could pass along their details, should I be in need of my own lawyers

Gia: Really

Gia: I can’t say I’m surprised

James: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything, actually

Gia: Obviously you’ve not told anyone yet, why else would this holiday be occurring if not to plaster over the cracks

James: I’d hardly seek to make it common knowledge regardless, but exactly, this holiday’s timing is no accident, school terms aside

Gia: I’m extra glad I won’t be there to witness her attempts to win you back, eugh

James: As am I, there are ample witnesses already

Gia: You really must stand your ground about this, no one else can do it for you

James: I’m not asking for help, Gia

James: I know better than that

Gia: Oh, woe is you

Gia: How is that [sum that idk]k per annum job and place in [the postcode] treating you, dear brother? What is that if not help that most people could only dream of from their parents, my God!

James: I’m painfully conscious, if not forcibly made to be so every Sunday, of the price and the fact I’ve yet to pay back the last assistance required, but thank you, it’s like having our father here with us

Gia: Why do you insist on sounding so ungrateful and as if you have as little clue as Teddy then? It is truly frustrating

James: I’m sorry you feel as though that’s a fitting comparison

Gia: You’ll be finished with Uni soon, that’s the last of the excuses to be in any way immature

James: I haven’t tried to put forward any excuses, best I am capable of recalling this conversation and our previous ones

Gia: I don’t think you appreciate all that has been done for you, that’s all

Gia: Your issues with your lifestyle are of your own making, entirely

James: As I’ve said, I wouldn’t dream of burdening our parents with them more than they have been, I was just hoping we could talk

Gia: Are we not talking?

James: Call it another of my mistakes, for the tally you’re clearly keeping

Gia: You’re so dramatic, do calm down

Gia: go on, what do you want to say, I’m listening

James: I no longer want to say a word, don’t worry

Gia: Do you want the details of a decent lawyer or not

James: Naturally, as I’ve made my own bed, I can find my own lawyer

Gia: As you wish

Gia: It isn’t as if your soon-to-be ex possesses the funds or the intellect to find one for herself worth their salt

James: Please don’t speak about her in such a disparaging way

Gia: Come off it, you’re the one divorcing her whilst she’s carrying your second child, we can drop the act

James: No I’m not, and whether I decide to in the future or opt for another choice entirely, she’s the mother of my children, as you yourself pointed out

Gia: You should but you’re letting her talk you around, again

Gia: It’s painful at this point

James: As is this, I’m truly gobsmacked you two don’t get along given how many similar beliefs you hold, especially concerning me

Gia: You shouldn’t be, I have goals and a life and she decided to get knocked up by an idiot as soon as she could to avoid having to do anything a day in hers

James: I have goals too, and my own mind

Gia: I didn’t say YOU didn’t

James: You suggested I’ll be swayed by a getaway you can’t even bring yourself to attend

Gia: The only thing you’re swayed by is fear, as she is well aware

James: I have been an idiot, but I’m trying, Gia

Gia: Why did you ever agree to it?

Gia: I said it at the time, it was a bad idea, now look at you

James: Everything I have done, tried to do, is for Jay’s sake

Gia: At the expense of your own, yes

James: She comes first

Gia: Clearly

James: I’m her father, she has to

Gia: Well, what sort of life do you expect to give her if you’re miserable and let her mother walk all over you, exactly?

Gia: You’re doing that child no favours

James: A life with me in it

Gia: Please, Chloé doesn’t want to do 50% of the childcare now, she’s not going to take you for 100%

James: She wouldn’t have to, her parents would take on the role

Gia: They’re not as conniving as their daughter, nor as content to do nothing with their lives but babysit, I don’t think so

James: Intending to marry a divorced man doesn’t mean you’re an expert

Gia: I know that your wife isn’t nearly as scary as you think her to be, go figure

James: You don’t know her as I do

Gia: I know you though

James: Why must we always argue?

Gia: I would assume that was clear, your life choices, their continuing to be this poor

James: You would have me act like you, without even minor deviation, or you would have the communication be a row

James: you’re too much his daughter

Gia: Your problem is that you think that’s an insult

James: I think it’s a shame, for you and I

Gia: If you can’t see how much daddy has done for you, that’s the shame

James: I see it, all that he’s done

Gia: Yet you baulk at the first opportunity for you to make a decision all by yourself, interesting

James: We aren’t so different, how many of your choices are genuinely your own?

Gia: I don’t bemoan the help I’ve received as some sort of unfair legacy

James: Because you aren’t expected to be his legacy

Gia: How awful for you

James: I don’t want to become him, only in our family is wishing to forge a separate identity ungrateful

Gia: Your separate identity isn’t going to fund your lifestyle, you’re too old for this teen angst

James: It could, but he’d prefer we’re dependent

Gia: Why would he want that?

James: Perhaps I’d have answers if I were allowed to select my own degree subject

Gia: He wouldn’t, is the answer, the return investment with children is abysmal

James: Hopefully if you have some, you’ll cease speaking about them how you are now

Gia: You’re so easily offended

James: I’m not offended

Gia: Then why do you feel the need to tell me how to speak

James: I’m sorry, yes, my mistake, again

James: the judgment is permitted solely one way, from you to me

Gia: You’re free to judge all you wish, as long as you’re aware how little I care about the feelings of children real or imagined

James: Why you’re the favourite aunt, obviously

Gia: Please don’t call me that, it’s disgusting

James: When did you stop caring about my feelings?

Gia: I never said I did

James: Yet you have, you don’t care

Gia: You aren’t a child, I hate to break it to you

James: I know that

Gia: So I didn’t say that

James: It’s unspoken then, but true all the same

Gia: No it’s not, I just don’t wish to harp on about it

James: I’m not Teddy, I have no desire to embarrass you

Gia: Seems like it

James: I’m sorry, really

Gia: It’s fine

James: I’ll see you when we return home

Gia: Well, enjoy your sham holiday, I suppose

James: Savour your avoidance of it

Gia: Naturally

James: [mention some work thing because you work at the same place, it’s feasible]

Gia: I plan to get [however much of this work] done whilst you’re all away

James: I have every confidence you will

Gia: Try and keep mummy from embarrassing herself, a lot of people are going to be there

James: No easy task, but I’ll do my best

Gia: I know, she only gets worse, I thought she might improve with age

James: When Teddy is preoccupied by more than revision he isn’t bothering with, she won’t have the encouragement

Gia: When are we expecting that to happen, exactly?

James: I thought you were our father and the business’ biggest champion, not to mention King’s

Gia: I’m also a realist and he’s worse than you

James: I had to go and fetch him from a party not long ago

Gia: I wouldn’t face the embarrassment for him

Gia: Dare I ask?

James: I was concerned, which hasn’t changed

Gia: You usually are

James: I’d be less than thrilled for him to follow in my footsteps

Gia: He wouldn’t, it’s very easy to not have a child, especially as a boy

James: He is, a child wasn’t what I was referring to

Gia: Yes, well, no prizes for guessing where you get that from

James: You can have the prizes for avoiding the trap

Gia: Self-control isn’t something that should be that special but sure, thank you

James: It’s certainly valued when you don’t possess much

Gia: You figured it out

James: It’s ongoing, I almost lost what little I manage to keep hold of recently

Gia: But you didn’t, so there’s not an issue or need for rehab part deux

James: There are plenty of issues, but I don’t need [the rehab] to solve them as yet, no

Gia: Good, it was stupidly expensive

James: So I’ve been told

Gia: Oh well, I just get to have the most expensive wedding possible now, for all the therapy I didn’t need

James: I can’t wait, truly

James: Are you ever going to set a date?

Gia: We both have different priorities, there’s no need to rush

James: Right

Gia: Who knows, once you set her free, perhaps she’ll get to have a non-shotgun wedding, wouldn’t that be nice

James: You’re a real romantic

Gia: Eugh

James: You can make excuses to avoid my hypothetical next wedding as you have this mini-break, I promise I won’t be offended

Gia: I think you should learn your lesson and not have another, personally

James: Okay, noted

Gia: Great, I don’t know how many more I can take

James: I’ll do what I can about father’s wandering eye as well, but it’s no simpler of a task than you gave me with our mother, I’m afraid

Gia: They should just divorce, it isn’t his fault she’s an absolute state

James: It isn’t her fault she’s older than thirty either

Gia: That’s just how the world works, James

James: His world

James: he doesn’t run everyone’s, Gia

Gia: You’re going to tell me that the world doesn’t favour younger women? Oh, okay, problem solved

James: Every living man doesn’t trade their wife in for a younger woman, contrary to your personal experience though it may be

Gia: Every man who can afford to does

James: We all must get out more

Gia: I get out just fine, I’m just a realist, I told you

James: You’re a cynic, despite claiming I’m the one harping on about my woes

Gia: I don’t have woes, I have solutions

James: [an author we’re comparing her to by gently taking the piss as if that’s a quote by them]?

Gia: Shut up, loser

James: What was it you stated about uni being someone’s last chance to be immature?

Gia: Doesn’t mean I can’t tell you when to be quiet

James: When it suits you to be an older sister

Gia: It has never suited me, for your information

James: Being an only child would, that’s no secret

James: my sincerest apologies for being born, and a son

Gia: Only children are freaks, you’ve at least saved her from that fate

James: A tiny consolation, but thank you, I’ll take it

Gia: I don’t understand why you did it either

James: I know you don’t

Gia: Your life, your choices

James: Yes, and the baby isn’t one I’m eager to discuss

Gia: Too late now

James: I’m familiar with the timeframe

Gia: I’m pleased you finally learned that lesson

James: See you soon, dear sister

Gia: Bye-bye

Chloé: Where are you?

James: [his location, no more no less cos he don’t wanna elaborate or talk to you ever]

Chloé: Come here, I’m bored

James: I’m busy entertaining our child

Chloé: My parents will take her, you’re meant to be relaxing

James: It’s allegedly a holiday for your parents as well

Chloé: They like spending time with her, duh

James: So do I

Chloé: We’re meant to be working on us

James: There isn’t an us, I told you, I’m staying for the baby as promised, no other reason

Chloé: You can’t just stay for the baby, that isn’t how marriage works

James: It’s clearly how my parents’ marriage has, ideally I wouldn’t hold up any of their behaviour as a blueprint to live by, of course, but you’ve given me very little other choice

Chloé: You’ve got to let me make it up to you

James: You can’t

Chloé: Yes I can, you said you wanted me to try

James: I was being foolish, it’s too late for that

Chloé: No it’s not, we could have a nice time here

James: We couldn’t be further from the same page

James: I don’t want to be here

Chloé: Because you’re not leaving her with my parents or yours, like you’re meant to

Chloé: Take a break

James: No, because we shouldn’t be on a family holiday when we aren’t a family

Chloé: We are whether you like that or not

James: The way you treat Jay and I isn’t right, the baby’s arrival won’t fix that, they both deserve better even if I don’t

Chloé: How I treat you, what do you mean?

James: There’s no love, Chloé

Chloé: I could say the same thing about how you treat me

James: Perhaps, but tell me you love our daughter, you never tell her

James: at least I care for you, show you as much respect as your actions allow, I wholeheartedly love Jay

Chloé: I was the one that had her, didn’t I? When everyone told me not to, she wouldn’t even be here if not for me

James: The baby wouldn’t either, and we’ve discussed my feelings about that, it isn’t the resounding positive you think it is that you do solely as you like with no regard for my feelings or anyone else’s

Chloé: So much for loving them, you’re just as bad as everyone else

James: I can still love them while recognising the things I should’ve done differently, it isn’t their fault they’re here under these circumstances, it’s ours

Chloé: There is no fault, I haven’t done anything wrong

James: Then what were you intending to make up to me exactly?

Chloé: Not the births of your two children, obviously

Chloé: I didn’t think that’s where your head was

James: You went against my express wishes for there to be a second child, remember?

Chloé: You can’t just love Jay and not this one, that’s an awful thing to say

James: That’s not what I’m saying, my point is, what you did isn’t fixable, with a mini-break or otherwise, not this time

Chloé: I thought you wanted another one, you love being a dad

James: Why would I possess the slightest desire to bring another child into such a toxic environment? I can barely protect the one we already have

Chloé: Protect her from what?

James: Us

James: this

Chloé: You’re the one making it a problem when you could just stop being so mean

James: I was trying to leave you, those problems aren’t going anywhere

Chloé: Well what the fuck am I supposed to do now, James, why the fuck are we here?

James: I don’t know, it was your marvellous idea

Chloé: You will not make me look like an idiot

James: I came for Jay’s sake, my concern isn’t how you look

Chloé: I mean it, you need to put on a united front or I’ll make sure you look worse

James: I’m being a doting father, son and son-in-law

Chloé: Yes, you always seem to forget husband

James: I deliberately omit it, actually

Chloé: I could very easily have you omitting father too

James: The threats are rarely far away, and you wonder why I don’t dote on you, darling

Chloé: You know I’m not playing

James: You’re not taking my children from me

Chloé: Who’s children?

James: As much mine as they are yours

Chloé: And you’re sure about that, 100%, are you?

James: Yes

Chloé: If that’s a risk you’re really willing to take

James: It’s a cheap shot you’re taking, I’m not surprised you aren’t above it

Chloé: You leave me little other choice

James: Touché

James: I’ll go home on the first available flight, I suppose, as we’ve nothing else left to say to each other

Chloé: You will not, you’re not ruining this for everyone

James: Only you would say something that devastating to me and expect I’ll stay to save face

Chloé: You need reminding what’s at stake here, that’s all

James: My sanity and sobriety are at stake if I linger at this resort with you

Chloé: If having a drink makes you come to your senses about this, so be it

James: You would dare say that too

Chloé: We are not getting a divorce, we’ve only been married like 3 years, that’s a total failure

James: Getting married at all was a huge mistake, but you refuse to acknowledge the fact

Chloé: I was pregnant, what else could I do?

James: I could’ve looked after you and Jay without us constantly making each other miserable

Chloé: No, you mean just her

Chloé: because you wouldn’t be with me and everyone would know you didn’t want me

James: We don’t want each other now

Chloé: That isn’t how it looks

James: Which of your friends do you imagine you’re convincing? [namedrop one as an example]? Because she propositioned me less than a month ago

Chloé: So, she’s just a whore

Chloé: She isn’t married to you

James: The people whose opinions should matter want you to be happy

Chloé: Yeah right

James: And you could be if you let me go

Chloé: Are you delusional? I would have nothing

James: You’d have the opportunity to start again

Chloé: With what, I didn’t even finish school, for Christ’s sake

Chloé: it’s like you don’t live in the real world

James: We aren’t living in a Dickens novel and your parents aren’t poor by any means were that the case

Chloé: I am not living with my parents

James: I’ll rent you an apartment in [a fancy postcode she’s had her eye on], I’m not claiming to leave you destitute

Chloé: With what?

Chloé: And you’re going to give me the half of nothing you have without your family too, are you?

James: My family aren’t going to write me off, Gia has been cheerleading our possible divorce since the beginning of our wedding reception

Chloé: Well she’s a heartless cow, anything that takes away from her trust fund

James: I can look after you, I will, it doesn’t need to be like this

Chloé: I would rather die

James: Chloé

James: consider the possibility, that’s all I ask

Chloé: That’s all, you just want to upend my life, lock me away in some apartment and forget about me, I don’t fucking think so

James: You’re impossible to forget about

Chloé: Yeah right

James: And I swear to you I wouldn’t

Chloé: Everyone else has

James: You mean more to me than that

Chloé: No I don’t, you don’t care about me at all

James: You’re the mother of my children, I’ll always be so grateful to you for giving them to me, whatever else may happen

Chloé: You have a funny way of showing that

James: Likewise

Chloé: I’m not grateful, you want them, not me

James: Okay, let me have them

Chloé: So you do want me to kill myself

James: Don’t be ridiculous

Chloé: You

Chloé: Where would I go, what is the reason I don’t have my children, for Christ’s sake

James: You just told me you don’t want them

Chloé: Yes, and that isn’t a good enough reason as a mother, James, as you’re well aware, you don’t get to just leave

James: Grant me full custody, you can spend time with them as it suits you

Chloé: That isn’t how it works

James: We could make it work, you and I

Chloé: People would think I had done something to have them taken from me

James: You can blame me to those people, say I lied, tell them whatever stories you think up, I don’t care

Chloé: Your time would be better spent looking like you were enjoying yourself here and now

Chloé: not all this hypothetical nonsense

James: Well, I’m simply not enjoying myself, I’m sorry

Chloé: Who is now

Chloé: you’ve ruined it

James: I can’t entirely exist in a fantasy you’ve devised

Chloé: You can’t do anything right, at no point have you delivered on the fantasy, just so you’re aware

James: Precisely, it’s ludicrous to keep attempting a pretence

Chloé: What you have devised is no less, it’s more, absolutely insane, actually

James: It’s closer to our reality, however

Chloé: I’ll just kill myself, how about that, since my existence is such an inconvenience to you

James: Stop it, my feelings are the imposition, as usual

Chloé: Your feelings about hating me

Chloé: I’m so sorry I’m not taking that as you’d hoped

James: I don’t hate you

Chloé: Yes, you do

Chloé: what else could you possibly call this, your ‘plan’

James: I’m trying for an ending we’re both happy with

Chloé: We’re 21, what ending?

James: To our relationship, because staying in it will honestly kill me

Chloé: Have I ever stopped you from having all your little affairs, what are you even missing out on, YOU stop you from partying, not me

James: I need more than an affair

Chloé: You have that with me

James: No, we haven’t, for even a moment, had that

Chloé: Fuck you, it’s because of you, not me

James: Please, I’m suffocating in every single aspect of my life, something has to give

Chloé: Go and get a drink, I’m sick of talking to you now

James: You’d adore that, I lose control and you gain it all back over me same as before

Chloé: You were more fun

James: I wouldn’t know, I have no memory of it

Chloé: And now you have virtually no friends, neither of us do

James: You’d loathe me having friends, I could have at uni, work, but you prevent any socialising without you or within circles you’ve chosen

Chloé: We had friends, we had fun

Chloé: She is the worst mistake I have ever made

James: You had friends, you had fun

James: I had an addiction and enablers

Chloé: Your memory must be hazy, no one else saw it that way

James: You’d sooner I died in that car accident than got sober

Chloé: If I could go back in time, I’d do a lot of things differently, you wouldn’t be involved in any of it

James: Ditto

Chloé: You aren’t worth all the time and energy I have wasted, and it is entirely wasted

James: Finally, we’re in agreement

Chloé: Hooray

James: Please, let’s return home, talk properly

Chloé: The home you just destroyed? No, thanks, I’m staying here

Chloé: I booked this for you and your stupid family and you are entirely ungrateful

James: You booked it without my knowledge, never mind my consent

Chloé: As a gift, what kind of surprise would it be otherwise, oh my GOD

Chloé: you want to make my every action malicious to make yourself look better

James: A gift?

Chloé: Yes, a gift, most people would love this

James: I’m at my wits’ end

Chloé: Yeah, the feeling is mutual, James

James: You have until the baby is born to create your narrative

Chloé: You don’t get to give out any deadlines

James: I’ll be going then, regardless of your threats

Chloé: I won’t let you take the kids anywhere

James: You’ve got time to figure out how you plan to impede me too

Chloé: I know the truth, you don’t

James: I’m not sure you’re capable of telling the truth anymore

Chloé: You’ll see if you try to leave

James: On this occasion, I’ll succeed

Chloé: You’ll be begging for me to take you back

James: In no world am I going to beg you for anything

Chloé: We’ll see

1 note · View note

notanotherreidgirl · 3 years

Note

I just had an idea based on my recent health experience: What if Spence had to wear a Holter for 24 or 72 hours to measure his heart's activity (maybe as part of the FBIs health checks) ? And he has to take notes of everything he does so that they can match it with the information collected so he cannot have sex or masturbate unless he's willing to justify his increased heart activity to a team of doctors. So, reader being reader, decides to drive him nuts, teasing him again and again because she knows he can't do anything about it. (Does he end up cumming in his pants because he's trying so hard not to touch himself and increase his heart rate?) ☺️🥰

Love ya! Have a great day!

Let's Get Physical

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, edging, blowjob, grinding, coming in pants

Word Count: 1380 (i'm inclined to just call this a full fic)

A/N: First, an apology. This has been in my inbox for quite a while and I am very sorry about the wait. Secondly, I made this entire scenario up after doing some minimal research on Holter monitors so it might not make sense.

Spencer gave Hotch’s door a light tap before taking a deep breath and then giving two sharp knocks. “Come in”

The door swung open and Derek patted him on the shoulder with a smile as he exited, no doubt having just received a glowing report regarding his physical health. Spencer dropped into the seat, casting a quick glance at the team of health professionals on Hotch’s couch and immediately regretting it. They were very clinical looking - pressed white lab coats, hair combed and gelled back, clipboards piled with papers, already scribbling away and speaking among themselves in hushed voices. “Ok Dr. Reid, we just have a few questions to ask you regarding your health practices and then we’ll take a look at the results from the Holter Monitor. Is that alright?”

“Um yeah. Yeah, that’s fine” he glanced over at Hotch who was leafing through Spencer’s notes with a raised eyebrow. The first few questions about his diet and lifestyle practices were easy but then came the dreaded evaluation of the Holter measurements. “Now we just have a few questions about some of the readings from the Holter. I see there was a bit of a spike right after you put it on that you attributed to nerves?”

“O-oh uh yeah, I was just a little nervous about having it on. That was it.” But that wasn’t the exact truth.

---

You had Spencer sit cross-legged on the bed without his shirt when he came home with the Holter. He was explaining how it worked as you studied the diagram detailing how to put it on. You slipped the wearable recording device over his head and climbed into his lap, surreptitiously rocking your hips into his as you untangled the wires. His hands encircled your waist, adjusting your angle so your clothed core ran against his entire length. You attached the electrodes carefully, kissing each patch of skin before covering it. His breath came out in soft pants as his release mounted and he squeezed his eyes shut. Just as he was about to come, you clicked the machine on and his eyes flew open.

“Wait, Y/N! I can’t - I’m supposed to keep my heart rate down.” The panic in his voice was evident and you smirked. If there was one thing you knew about Spencer it was that he liked succeeding. One might even say he liked winning - 3 Ph.Ds, prolific poker player, unsubs behind bars - so it didn’t come as a surprise to you that he was keen on passing his health evaluation. You trailed a hand down his chest, feeling the pounding heart he was trying to calm with deep breaths. “If you say so, doc”

---

The evaluator’s next question snapped him from his reverie. “That sounds fine but there was a concerning increase in your heart activity at 2 AM. It says here that you were exercising, specifically sprinting?”

Spencer dropped the pen he had been twirling and dove under his chair to get it. “Ah yes, I - uh - those are my nightly sprints.”

If Hotch’s eyebrows went up any farther they’d disappear in his hairline. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand across his face in exasperation when he spotted your face peeking out through an opening in his office blinds. You darted away quickly, sprinting back to your desk. Meanwhile, Spencer mentally chastised himself for his lack of self-restraint, saying that he was doing sprints at 2 AM was stupid but it was the only thing he could think of that could somewhat explain his elevated heart rate without revealing his actual activities.

---

He couldn’t sleep with the monitor on, tossing and turning in your arms until he rolled onto his back and let out a frustrated huff. You sleepily propped yourself up on your elbow. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

He scooted in closer, curling his body into yours and burying his face into your tits. He whined, “Can’t sleep with this thing on me”

“Oh, poor baby. Do you need me to make you feel better?” You dipped a hand down the front of his pajama pants and he automatically pressed his hips forward, used to you soothing him in this way after nightmares. He was already half-hard and you stroked him softly before sliding down the bed. His whimpers at the loss of your breasts exploded into loud moans as you swallowed his length, running your tongue up the underside of his cock and sucking at the tip before taking him back into your throat. Usually, you would take your time but you were feeling particularly wicked tonight, bringing a hand up to cradle his balls as the other forced his wild hips down onto the bed. Once again you pulled away just as his orgasm began to materialize and he threw his head back against the pillows, whines devolving into a choked sob. “We wouldn’t want to mess up your Holter results, now would we?”

Needless to say, he didn’t get any sleep that night.

---

“Well Dr. Reid, this kind of activity is most unusual and frankly quite concerning. Your heart rate even shot up right before you returned the monitor which you again attributed to nerves.” Spencer’s face reddened as he recalled the events that transpired that morning.

---

He was pacing down a vacant hallway in the basement of the Bureau, willing his nerves away. He was sure he would fail. Could you even fail one of these evaluations? Probably. If anyone could fail it would be Spencer. Between the events of the last 24 hours and the fact that Derek was going right before him, he knew he was screwed. And then as if the universe were conspiring against him there you were coming out of the printer room, heels clicking against the floor, hips swaying, a form-fitting blouse leaving just enough to the imagination. And Spencer had a very vivid imagination. Watching you float towards him was really all it took to have him standing at attention, heart rate skyrocketing. But you were ever the overachiever, threading his tie between your fingers and pulling him in for a kiss. Your knee came up between his legs and he automatically rocked into you, still worked up from your relentless denial. You ran your tongue over his bottom lip, deepening the kiss and applying even more pressure. “You’ve been so good, sweetheart. Trying your very hardest to control yourself. It’s adorable.”

It didn’t even occur to Spencer that he had to return the monitor along with his notes in less than 10 minutes, he was cumming in his pants as soon as the praise left your lips, whining into your mouth as he finally attained his long-awaited release. He looked down at you in shock as you stepped back. “Shit, Y/N! What do I do? They’re gonna call me up in 5 minutes!”

You gave him a mocking look of sympathy as you smoothed the wrinkles in his dress shirt. “Guess you better get cleaned up then”

---

“Dr. Reid, I’d like to see you again for a follow-up.” The doctor on the left scribbled their name on the bottom of a form and handed it to Spencer. He gave the paper a quick glance before looking over at Hotch with wide eyes. Help me.

Hotch sighed, taking the form from Spencer and giving it a quick scan before returning it to the evaluation team. “As we know, Dr. Reid has had a tumultuous history with these physical assessments. However, he is an invaluable member of this team and has proven himself in the field time and time again. I don’t see any reason to prolong this evaluation. Now if you’ll excuse us, I believe Dr. Reid was your last appointment of the day”

They protested but Hotch fixed them with his trademark stare and they stood up to leave. “Very well, but Dr. Reid will not be exempt from his yearly fitness test this time.”

Spencer gulped, watching them file out the room. He turned to Hotch thanking him as he took his file and turned to leave, glad it was over. But before he could leave, Hotch cleared his throat. “I take it Y/N will be helping you train for your fitness test”

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #sub!spence coming in his pants is something that can be so personal #lanie's 1k celebration!#unsuitable for work

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damiano-mylove · 3 years

Text

Movie Night

Pairing: Damiano David x fem!reader

Wc: 2.6k (sorry)

Cw(s): SMUT, bit of angst, swearing ofc, long for some reason, begging, not proof read

*Masterlist*

Work is a healthy habit to get into - to a certain extent. If you work to avoid your problems, that's not particularly one of the most healthy things to do. The only problem working can fix is if you're poor, but really minimum wage doesn't fix that either.

But your Damiano wasn't poor, he wasn't being paid minimum wage. You knew how much he loved working on music with his friends, but he was barely home and you missed him. Being without Damiano almost felt like being without your left arm - especially since it had been so abrupt, going from him spending a few hours writing, to spending almost a full day in the studio.

Tonight was supposed to be movie night. That Damiano had suggested. To make up for lost time.

So, you found yourself, alone, on your velvet red couch, watching Alice in Wonderland, with your cat on your lap. His purrs filled whatever wavelengths were left empty by the film, but you didn't mind that at all. Your fingers found their way into his incredibly soft fur, which felt like silk between those fingers of yours.

The clock soon struck midnight, and the film hit the end credits soon after. Damiano was still not home from the studio, which almost worried you. Almost. In the earlier days of him spending all of his time at Vic's for writing or in the studio, you had thought he'd run off with someone else. You woke up the next morning with him next to you, but that never really put that specific worry to rest.

"Romeo, Baby," you whispered to the silver tabby cat on your lap. He flicked his tail to let you know he heard you. "Dad's not home yet and I'm tired, we gotta go to bed. C'mon." Romeo only lifted his head to lay his grass green eyes on you once you stopped scratching his neck. You smiled to him, though his eyes didn't return it. "You've got half a minute before I move your furry tush."

To no one's surprise, Romeo took more than half a minute so you picked him up like a baby over your shoulder. Your palm cradled his soft feet. Like the lazy cat he was, Romeo fell back asleep on your shoulder on your short walk to your bedroom that you shared with the one and only, Damiano. He used to be a god to you, but now he was basically a roommate who you shared a kiss with every once in a while.

With Romeo asleep on the bed before you finished putting on pyjamas, you slunk off to brush your teeth. The door unlocked. Your heavy eyes cast unto the clock on the wall which read nearly half midnight.

Damiano came in like a whisper in the wind, save for the closet opening so he could deposit his coat. Shaking you head, you just finished brushing your teeth. Your mouth felt dry even though you'd just rinsed it with water.

"Cara mia," Damiano purred once his eyes caught your figure in the lamp light from the bedroom. You smiled at him and went into the bedroom to curl up with your cat and go to sleep. You had work in the morning and customers didn't appreciate workers who look like sleep-deprived zombies.

This was the first time in a long time that you didn't immediately greet him once he came through the door. So Damiano could sense a shift in the mood of the flat; really, he felt it as soon as he walked in and smelt chocolate and strong tea.

His footsteps never gave away where he was, but you could feel his presence enter the room. The bed dipped on the end just as Romeo curled further into you. When Damiano's hand held your ankle, Romeo let out a soft meow.

"What's wrong, Amore?"

"Did you forget or did you do it on purpose?" You immediately sat up as you asked the question. You were tired and to act like it was fine just wasn't in the cards tonight. Damiano's eyebrows drew together. You began to nod. "Movie night? You said you'd come home early to watch a film with us."

Damiano's face darkened in realization. You pursed your lip balm coated lips. Even Romeo could sense the tension and decided to stand up and sit square on your thighs, facing your boyfriend as if to protect you. Damiano looked to his hands which rested in his lap.

After a second, he said, "I-I thought that was tomorrow."

"Tonight was Tuesday night, now it's Wednesday morning," you muttered. Your fingers found the reassuring warmth of Romeo's fur once again and Romeo let out a rather sad sounding meow. "Oh, Romeo, don't worry. Dad just has to tell us he's sorry then we can sleep."

Both you and your cat looked to your boyfriend with tired but expectant eyes. Damiano's eyes never tore from his hands. Then it was like he was speaking to himself. "I was going to buy you flowers. And let you pick the film. And you were supposed to fall asleep on my shoulder, on the couch."

"It's okay, Dami, it's just a movie night," you told him. But your conscience caught you before you continued. Why the fuck were you reassuring him when he was the one who fucked up? Tell you that he'll be home in time for a sort of date night, then skip out. "We'll do it another night, it's all good."

"It's not all good, Y/n." One thing you could agree on tonight, though you'd never say that out loud. Finally, Damiano lifted his eyes from his soft hands. You noticed his eyes shimmer in the lamplight. "I really fucked up your night and for no good reason. I'm really sorry."

Leaning forward, you patted his arm. "Forgiven. We're adults and life gets in the way of romance."

"Not always, and not for us. I'm supposed to be the best boyfriend in the world but I've barely been a boyfriend to you at all lately, and I apologize." His words were stringing together faster in faster as he kept trying to keep his tears at bay. "It's just with the new album and everything, I'm finding out how shitty I am at balancing my life." Damiano came closer to you, holding your hand that once held his arm. "How can I make it up to you, Y/n? You're the love of my life and I don't want us to fizzle out."

For some reason, a little chuckle escaped your lips. His passion for you warmed your heart as you caught a glimpse of how you first had your heart captured by the man sitting before you. The light glittered in your eyes, for Damiano and Damiano alone. "We're not going to fizzle out over one missed movie night."

"Yes, but I've missed many of our nights, whether we made plans for them or not," Damiano rebutted. Your lips pressed together in a flat line. There was a certain ounce of truth to that statement. Damiano pressed a kiss to the back of your hand without maintaining eye contact. "Cara mia, nights are for the lovers, and I seem to have forgotten that."

His warm breath tickled the back of your hand just before his pressed more kisses to the back of your hand, then wrist, then fingers.

Sensing the warming room, Romeo left your lap. He threw you a final glance, seeming like he was making sure you didn't need him in the room to which you slightly nodded at the tabby. Romeo turned on his paws and left the room - leaving two starry-eyed partners who were still most ardently in love.

Without another word, you joined your lips with Damiano's. It had been a long while since a kiss such as this one had occurred. In the place of the usual passing kisses, this one made the love shared prominent. This kiss felt as if your Damiano was once again yours and totally yours; not as if he ever wasn't, but this was a much needed reminder of that.

Holding your face in his large hands, Damiano deepened the kiss by turning his head ever-so slightly. His tongue slid into your mouth with a passionate fervour. There was no battle for dominance, but a mutual exploration of each other's mouths.

Damiano tenderly laid you down against the pillows on your side of the bed, though his lips parted from yours which was an unhappy fate. "Do you want to go further, Cara mia? I know this doesn't equal forgiveness."

"I've never wanted anything more, Dami, my sweetest love," you promised him. Damiano smiled at your admission. He began to place gentle, loving kisses to your neck. "Only if you want to."

"Oh, trust me." Damiano nipped your collarbone, resulting in a yelp from you. You could feel his smirk against your warming skin. "I want to."

Damiano's bites roamed the skin of your chest that your tank top allowed, before you sat up to take it off. Your fingers found Damiano's soft hair as he left sloppy, wet kissed all over your now exposed chest. A bitten back moan escaped your mouth just as his tongue began to circle the tender skin of your nipple, making your back arch into the man above you.

This was an admission of your pleasure, so Damiano's mouth fully encircled your nipple as his hand that once caressed your hip, now cupped your other breast. His warm palm massaged you firmly, having Damiano's name fall from your lips. It had been a while since he'd touched you like this, with such care and attention. Every fiber of Damiano's being was now focused on making his love for you known.

When his warm mouth left your breast to be exposed to the chill of the room, his teeth grazed your sensitive nipple, having goosebumps multiply on your skin at a sky high rate. His mouth then was turned to your other breast as his other hand twisted and pinched the exposed nipple.

Your hands began trying to get his deep red shirt off, to bring his warmth to you. But before Damiano would let you have what you wanted most, he bit the sweet spot beneath your boob, no doubt leaving a mark that would be apparent the next day.

As Damiano leaned up to pull his shirt over his head, you nearly melted underneath him. His hair was already beginning to become delightfully fucked up and the look in his eye was absolutely dark. The look he gave you before joining your lips once again was full of love, accompanied by lust and desire. Damiano slid off his tight leather trousers while he was at it, allowing you to palm him through his briefs.

The kiss shared was now hungry and feverish. The nails of the unoccupied hand scratched down his back, resulting Damiano bucking his hips into your hand. You removed it, which finally gave you the glorious friction that you so completely craved. Damiano no doubt sensed this as he grabbed the back of your thigh as he continued to grind right into the thin layer that separated you both.

"Damiano, please," you nearly cried. The chuckle that came from Damiano was low and only made your panties become even more wet.

"Please what?"

"You know what I mean." He was killing you. Once the words left your lips, Damiano ground his hips into you again. "Fuck me. Fuck me, please. Please."

"See, was that so hard, Amore?" Damiano purred as he lowered the waistband of your pyjama bottoms. He threw them somewhere in the room before pressing his index finger against your clit. You tried to pull him in for a kiss, but Damiano resisted. "Ah, ah, I want to see just how much I effect you."

"You're the fucking-wow-devil himself."

Damiano's laugh bordered upon an evil one. "You love me."

"I love you, I love you so fucking much," you moaned. Damiano smiled as he lowered your grey panties. Those were discarded somewhere along with your pyjama bottoms, but you couldn't give half a fuck because Damiano's perfectly manicured finger found it's way inside of you. You bucked against his hand, making Damiano laugh.

His finger drew circles inside of you while his thumb still played with your clit. God, Damiano was so much better than your own fingers. Without a warning, another finger was added, making a sort of porn-esque moan leave you. Damiano groaned at the sound as well as the sight in front of him. Even his dreams of you weren't as good as this.

It wasn't as if he could help himself from leaning down once again and attaching his mouth to your erect nipple. Your eyes crossed at three parts of your body were on fire with immense pleasure. The flames of rapture enveloped most of your body, even your soul.

"I'm-m-m gonna cum," you cried out. Damiano smiled against your breast as his fingers began going faster. "No, no, let me cum on your cock." Damiano looked up at you with a bit of surprise. You'd never said something like that without prompt.

The needy look that painted your face was all Damiano had to see before he complied. His briefs were off in the blink of an eye and he began to pump himself just to prepare. Your legs were spread wide as you could already feel yourself drip onto the sheets below which made Damiano groan with barred teeth.

He lined himself up with your entrance and gave you one final questioning look. You nodded adamantly before he pushed himself through your folds.

Truly, you could feel your soul ascend as you remembered just how big he was. You big your lip so hard you nearly broke skin while Damiano hissed an intake of breath. He came down to your lips to taste your minty mouth just as his hips began rocking into you, first at a slow pace, then began to get closer.

Damiano's hips snapped into yours quickly, and the sound of smacking skin filled the room, along with the scent of sex and sweat. The combination of both of your moans filled each other's mouths. The bedroom was incredibly hot but somehow you were in a cold sweat, save for where your body joined with Damiano's in sweet harmony.

"Fuck, Y/n, you're so fucking tight," Damiano huffed. You clenched around his cock, only making Damiano cry out with pleasure. Your nails drew down his back, clinging him closer and closer to you with every thrust against your g-spot. Tears brimmed your eyes as a knot formed in the lower part of your stomach.

"Soon, I'm cumming soon."

"Cum on my cock, Baby, just like you want."

You could tell his thrusts were getting sloppy because he was closing in on his release as well. But you couldn't help but cum first as the knot suddenly exploded within you.

Your walls spasmed against Damiano as your release washed over you. Your legs tingled and your toes went a bit numb. Damiano then hit in you a few more times before his own seed seeped into you. It was warm and you felt incredibly full as Damiano stayed within you for an extra few seconds, before falling next to you.

"I know you said this wouldn't equal forgiveness but I'm feeling very forgiving," you sighed. Damiano chuckled and looked over at you. Your skin glowed in orgasmic radiance and your hair was completely fucked out. Damiano's heart swelled at the sight and he couldn't help but kiss you again.

He cleaned you both up after, with a warm wash cloth, and got you new pyjamas. Romeo reentered the room once the sex smell was gone and you were in Damiano's arms once again. Your cat curled between both of you in the dead of night, like the beginnings of a family.

Damiano came home Wednesday afternoon with a massive bouquet that must have cost a pretty pence, a box of Belgian chocolate and a bag of cat treats. It seemed a movie night was in order.

#damiano #damiano david #damiano x reader #damiano david fanfiction #damiano david x reader #damiano maneskin #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #smut #x reader

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221bshrlocked · 3 years

Text

do you trust me?

Paring: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Words: 3708

Warning: Lots and lots and lots of touching because Din is getting a massage. Blindfold. Handjob. A sort of foot/hand fetish if you like squint...really really squint.

Summary: It's been a while since Mando came for a massage but things get heated when he asks you for a favor...

A/N: Ok so there was this one anon message I was writing a fic for yesterday when I lost the 1.5K words and it was something along the lines of "imagine Din frequenting your massage parlor and you're a masseuse" so I added a little twist to it because Shy!Din who doesn't want to cross that line until he's 1000% sure you're okay with it does something to me so here you go. I hope you enjoy it people and I'm sorry I lost your message anon. I'll reblog with the taglist later. This is not beta'd!!

You can’t help but smile when your boss comes in and tells you that one of the regulars was asking if you were available for him today. You know who she’s referring to but still tell her that he should be serviced soon since he probably doesn’t have that much time. When she tells you that he specifically asked for you, you tell her that you’ll take him up in the next slot.

It was strange to have someone like the Mandalorian come in for a massage. His people weren’t necessarily known for letting their guard down, especially in an establishment like this. But you felt a sense of pride every time he came in. Granted it was every once in a while, but you enjoyed those sessions immensely. You remember how weird and intimidating it was when he first walked into your room. You couldn’t see a single inch of his skin and you wondered why he would come into a massage parlor when he wasn’t allowed to take off his clothes. He’d quickly explained to you that it was only his helmet that he couldn’t take off. It was a little sad though because for those first few times, he only ever took off his beskar armor. You told him that you would unfortunately not be able to use any of the oils on him since he chose to keep his clothes on and he nodded in understanding.

But then something shifted in the dynamic between the two of you and over the span of a few cycles, Mando, as you liked to call him, began to strip off his layers. You never questioned him about his decisions, ensuring to follow his lead and tell him that he was very much in control of what happened in the room. But as patient as you were, you couldn’t help but feel guilty because maker, why couldn’t he just take off his clothes? It was the most mind-boggling thing you’ve ever experienced. You had adonis on your table come in every day, but just seeing his arms and his waist had your mouth watering. It was pathetic too because no matter how many times you saw him, your heart still skipped a beat when you touched him.

As you finish with your current client and prepare the room, you remind yourself to try and be on your best behavior for his sake. It took the man almost five months to finally feel comfortable enough with you and take off his shirt so you couldn’t go and destroy all of that work. When you’ve set everything up and replaced the candles, you walk out and head towards the front desk. You don’t have to glance around for too long. It’s hilarious how much he stands out next to everyone. As soon as you look at him, Mando’s posture changes and he sits up, his hands clasping his knees as he waits for you to nod at him. You ignore his rigid attitude and whisper something to your boss, smiling back when she turns to Mando and raises an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, I don’t have all day.” You call after him and watch as he stands up and struts towards you. No matter how many times you saw him walk, it’s always a little intimidating when you’re at the receiving end of such a powerful hunter.

“You could have been on your merry way Mando.” You say as you lead him through the hallways. “That’s not how I see it mesh’la.” You stop and turn around to look at him, narrowing your eyes when he almost bumps into you and mirrors your stance. “Are you ever going to tell me what that means?” You think he’s looking past you when he responds and rings his fingers nervously. “You don’t have all day.” The curt comment lets you know he isn’t going to answer your question and you shake your head before you continue to walk towards your room. Before you unlock it, he clears his throat and grabs your wrist to stop you from going any further.

“I- I can come back later, if you’re already booked for today.” You’re a little surprised by his comment but you shrug your shoulders and push the door open for him. “I cleared my schedule just for you so you better not change your mind now.” He turns away from you and stares at the floor before he steps into the room and you let out a breath when he begins to take off his weapons and place them on the corner table.

As you shut the door and move towards the table with the oils and towels, you’re met with a silence like never before. Thinking that he was probably not in the mood to chat, you shut your eyes and count back from ten to calm your nerves. You could do this.

But then you turn around a couple of minute later and you almost drop the bottles of oils when you see Mando’s state of dress. He’s standing in front of the table, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, staring at you through his visor.

You can’t do this.

“Is- is this okay?” Mando asks and you clear your throat quickly before moving the oils to the massage table. “Y-yeah of course. As long as you’re comfortable. Like I said, I don’t want you to think that you have to do anything.”

“I know…I- I trust you.”

Those three words do little to calm your nerves and you look up at him as soon as the admission registers in your brain. You aren’t sure if it was normal to react this strongly to such a simple declaration but you turn away from him to give him some privacy as he hopped onto the table.

“Can I ask you something mesh’la?”

“Hmm.”

“Do- do you trust me?” His question catches you off guard yet again and you tilt your head at the odd timing of it before you nod. “Of course Mando!”

“Then can you do me a favor?” You hope he’s about to ask you what you’ve been silently craving for months but then he brings out a simple cloth and you’re confused.

“I would like to feel…relaxed, and this helmet makes it difficult to- to…I can’t take it off in front of anyone. I understand if this is too much but if you don’t mind, could you maybe-” You know what he’s asking as soon as he brings up the helmet and without missing a beat, you walk around and take it out of his hand.

“Sure, but I won’t be able to see if I’m doing something that you don’t like. I tend to read body language but this will be more difficult, so you’ll need to speak up. Deal?” You wait until he gives you his confirmation before you return to table. As soon as you see him move to lay down, you turn around and wait until he’s comfortable before you raise the blindfold to your eyes. Mando watches as you twist it tightly around your eyes before you tie it, waving his hands several times in front of you to make sure that you don’t see him.

“Ok, I can’t see anything so…um, hand me the urn with the light-yellow oil please?” You call to him and force yourself to stay quiet when he takes your hand in his and places the urn between your palms. You thank him and wait until he tells you that you can begin. As you test the temperature of the oil, you hear a soft hissing sound coming from the top of the table and you stop your movement when you hear Mando setting down the helmet on the floor.

“Just umm, let me know when I can begin yeah?”

“Go ahead mesh’la, I’m ready for you.”

It never occurred to you that he might sound different without the vocoder and you grip the urn tightly as his voice rings through your ears. It was much deeper and hoarse than you thought it would be and for a moment, you wish you could hear it as he whispers the filthiest desires across your skin. But you bite your cheek and keep yourself under control as you step forward.

“Here, let me help you.” Without warning, Mando grabs your hand and rests it on his chest, and you think that this is probably the moment where you die of sheer sexual frustration.

“Thank you,” you whisper to Mando as you bring the urn above your head and begin to slowly pour the oil across of his chest and stomach. You vaguely feel his arms moving but you say nothing and put the urn aside as you begin to spread the oil across his skin. No matter how many times you massage him, you always felt giddy touching him. He wasn’t exactly ripped per se but he was muscular enough for his job, with some softer muscles here and there.

As you dug your fingers into his skin, you hoped he wasn’t staring at you because you were sure your skin was flushing deeply the more you felt him twitch and flex beneath you. You could tell the past month or so has taken a toll on him because the more you kneaded and stretched his muscles, the louder his gasps and groans grew.

But then you passed over his nipples and you swore he was murmuring curses beneath his breath. Opting to just move on and not apologize, you dig your knuckles into his pectoral muscles and hold back from commenting on how solid they felt. As you move to his shoulder, you could tell that he really was in need of relaxing because there were too many knots in just a small area. Mando is keeping silent the entire time and you thank the maker that he was a usually a quiet guy because there was no way could survive hearing his voice for a long period of time.

Taking a deep breath, you pour some more oil on your hands before you take hold of his arm and begin to stretch it. Mando says nothing as you bend it and move your fingers across his biceps and if he flexes for you, it’s a completely unintentional reflex. When you reach his hand and push your fingers into his palm, Mando swears again, turning his full attention to you as you try to loosen his ligaments. You know you don’t need to spend that much time on his hands but you’ve always loved how much bigger and thicker they felt compared to yours. It also felt a little intimate feeling someone’s hand relaxing between yours, but you kept that bit of information to yourself, not wanting Mando to feel nervous around you.

You slowly walk around the table and apply the same attention to his chest and left arm, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way you were clenching your thighs together as you felt his fingers curl around your wrist as you massaged his forearm.

“Moving onto the legs so if there’s anything you’re not comfortable by, let me know.”

“Yeah,” you almost jump when you hear Mando’s response because…was his voice this deep earlier?

Deciding to just go for it, you twist the towel far enough until it reaches his thighs and begin to pour oil on his thick muscles. You swear he didn’t look this tall but you realize that perhaps the armor didn’t make him look big, just more intimidating. As you squeeze the flesh of his inner thighs, you hear his breathing become erratic and you stop for a second to give him a chance to say something. When he doesn’t, you return to the task at hand and try your hardest to not think of the appendage that was not too far from where you were touching him.

Fuck, this should not be turning you on this much.

You’re not sure what it is about this situation that’s making you this needy and you think that’s it’s perhaps the blindfold but you brush the thought aside immediately, knowing that your brain would not be shy from thinking of more inappropriate scenarios involving blindfolds and liquids should it wanted to.

Pretending you weren’t just daydreaming about the Mandalorian bending you over this table and fucking you into the next parsec, you move to the other side and attend to his other upper thighs. Maker, this man really as built like a hunter. Well, he was an actual hunter so-

“Where did you go?” Mando’s voice breaks you out of your haze and you take your hands off of him when you realize he may have actually been staring at you.

“S-sorry I was just- well, it’s nothing important. Never mind.” You smile embarrassingly at him before you move to his feet and spread them apart. Mando’s sudden intake of breath sends a panic down your back and you take your hands immediately off of him.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No! N-no, you’re…carry on.” He’s quite breathless as he speaks to you and furrow your eyebrows before you return to knead at his feet. And just like earlier, your thoughts take a turn for the worst when you notice just how large his feet were. They were much bigger than your own little hands and you think that maybe, just maybe, they might be proportional to his-

“That tickles,” Mando’s chuckle would have brought you to your knees had you been focusing on what he’s saying and you apologize before moving onto his other foot and finishing it quickly.

“Alright, turn for me Mando.” You tap his legs and wait for him to move, all the while trying to not think of him turning you around and spreading your legs to-

“Ready.” You silently curse him for always cutting off your train of thoughts but you bite your tongue and move to the other side of the table. Standing right in front of his head, you pour more oil on his back and attempt to ignore his whimpering which you were sure he wasn’t aware of. Once there is no more oil, you mirror your actions from earlier and dig you knuckles into his shoulder blades, finding the tense muscles and tendons much more difficult to relax than his front.

“Maker…you’ve been working hard haven’t you Mando?” You only get a small groan in return and you chuckle when you massage a particular spot that has him reaching out and grabbing on your legs.

“Oh…uhh please,” if it was possible to choke on air, you would have done so as soon as he moaned for you. This was not what you signed up for when you first woke up today, and you hated how much more relaxed he felt in your presence because the lower you moved down his back, the more confident his groans grew and before you knew it, he was whispering your name and speaking in his mother tongue. You weren’t sure if he was saying good or bad things, but from the way he was reacting to you, you had an idea of how he was feeling. And by the time you got to his calves, the man has pretty much melted underneath you.

As you finished up and moved away from the table so he could take his time to get up, you felt a strange haze wash over you. Something about the way he moaned your name along with expletives and maker knows what else had you wishing he could just muster up the courage to step over that line with you.

Slowly turning around, you wait until Mando begins to sit up before you speak up.

“I hope you don’t take too long before you visit again…it’s difficult to get you to loosen up when there’s so much pent-up energy.” You smile and hope he can tell that you’re joking with him, not realizing how much danger you were in just from being near him.

“It won’t help.”

You’re shocked by his response because he’s never actually insulted you before and you’re about to bite his head off when he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him.

“M-mando wh-”

“It’s not going to help, because I still have a lot of pent-up energy mesh’la. And you’re the one to blame.”

It’s like a zap of lightening has struck you down because as you try to free yourself from his grasp, you accidently brush something beneath the towel he has around his waist, something that was tenting the fabric and making it much harder to the touch.

“I’ve been trying to convince myself to visit you for so long sweet girl, but I stop myself from pushing in the coordinates when I remember how good it felt to have you worshipping me with your hands, your strong, soft little hands that I dream of touching me elsewhere…where I need you, crave you, fucking burn for you.” His words are laced with promises that you’ve longed to hear from him and you don’t realize that he’s waiting for you to answer until his grip tightens around your waist and he pulls you in closer.

“Mando,” you whisper to him as you lean into his neck and before he can ask you again, you slowly leave a trail of kisses across his jaw and down his jugular, not caring for how rough you’re being as you descend down his chest and leave bitemarks across the beautiful skin of his broad torso. He’s already somehow a moaning mess underneath your touch and the more you lick and kiss him, the more needy his groans become.

“Please, let me.” You plead as you raise your lips until they’re brushing against his and as Mando slowly tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss, you dip your hand beneath his towel and firmly grasp his cock. Mando is distracted for a moment and he lunges into you when he feels how your warm hand massaging his dick. Although he normally doesn’t prefer any display of emotion, he can’t hold back from moaning your name as you slowly stroke his length. You’re not surprised by his size, but you’re a little shocked by how hot he runs and as you twist your palm around the bulging tip, Mando leans into you and shoves his tongue down your throat, making sure you don’t run away from him as he slips one arm around your back and keeps you as flush to him as possible.

The room is suddenly filled with the sounds of Mando’s heavy breathing and groaning, and you smile to yourself when you remember how desperate he said he was for you. You’re glad you weren’t the only one feeling such an intense neediness and it’s your turn to gasp when you dip your hand and grab his balls. Mando’s hold on you tightens and you’re sure he’s giving you bruises but you can’t find it in yourself to care because this monolith of a hunter was falling apart just from your hand.

You break the kiss and slowly push him down so he could lay on the table again and as he follows your lead, you smile down at him before you grab the oil and pour a little more of it on his dick. He twitches at the warm material but quiets down as soon as you bring two fingers and shove him in his mouth.

“Be quiet for me baby, don’t want the other clients to think they’ll be getting this treatment too.” Mando bites down on your fingers as he nods and you try to hold back from jumping on the table and sinking down on his cock.

Fuck, it felt like it was beautiful and you hoped that you’d get to see it at some point in the near future. But you were satisfied with what you had now and as you worked him closer to his orgasm, you wished you could see his facial expressions as he surrendered to you.

You could feel him buzzing with energy on the table, and you giggled when he stretched out and grabbed your leg to bring you closer to him.

“Please…oh fuck, please I-”

“Cum for me Mando…cum for me, let me taste you on my lips baby please. You’ve been so good to me, letting me take care of you and trusting me to keep your secret. Go ahead darling, and cum for me.” He suddenly sits up on his elbows and you let go of his mouth before grabbing his balls and massaging them until he fell over the edge. As he growled his release, you couldn’t hold back anymore and leaned down, taking as much of him in your mouth as possible as you sucked on him and tasted his seed. There was so much that you swallowed and you marveled at how much he still had as you continued to milk him dry. When he finally finished and fell to his back, you stroked him softly a few times before licking across his navel to clean him up.

As you stood next to him, you felt a little shy at what was to come. But Mando seemed to see you overthinking because he didn’t waste another minute, sitting up quickly and pulling you in his arms. You stood in between his legs and smiled when he leaned down and began to kiss across your eyes.

“You…you’ve been so good to me mesh’la.” He whispers hoarsely as he nips at your shoulder and you giggle when his scruff begins to tickle your skin.

“So have you.” Mando sighs heavily at your confession and you repeat it one more time so he could believe that you were telling the truth.

“I- I think I’ll start coming more often. You know, so the muscles aren’t too knotted like you said.”

“Hmm, is that all you’ll come for Mando?” You smile when he pecks your lips and brushes your hair aside.

“No sweet girl, I’ll be coming for you too. More than you think.”

#din djarin x reader #din djarin/reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #pedro pascal #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian/reader #massage #din djarin smut #the mandalorian smut

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witch-hazels-musings · 3 years

Note

i dunno if requests are still open but if they are, could i request this? if not, feel free to delete! but in case they are open here's the request: jean, beidou, and ganyu reacting to accidentally hurting their s/o? it could be anything from simple slap in the face while turning around or hurting them with their vision/weapon :]

Accidents

(ouchie -- having them accidentally hurt the reader T.T -- they didn’t mean too!)

Warning -> SFW, accidental injury (Character -> Reader)(face injury (Jean)), (meantions of cuts to face / arms (Ganyu)), (hit by rope (Beidou))

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Beidou, Jean, Ganyu

Beidou

She takes pride in keeping everyone on her crew safe, no matter the danger - on sea or land, she will fight and guard each person in her charge -- you are no exception and in fact, you are probably the one she fights the hardest for. The thought of seeing you hurt doesn’t sit well with her and, if she can control it, she’d never let it happen

How could she have known that she’d be the one to cause you discomfort -- that she’d end up allowing you to get hurt because she let something slip through her fingers … pride was a strong emotion, but guilt could send a pirate to the bottom of the ocean

The weather had made a sudden turn for the worst. Dark clouds rolled overhead as the crew furled the sales to protect them from the downpour that was bound to arrive any second now.

“Captain!” Beidou’s attention shifted to the crow's nest, her scout pointing violently toward a massive cumulus cloud in the distance. She knew it was bound to smash right them if they maintained this heading, so in an effort to avoid it, she ran toward the bow barking orders.

“Tack to starboard! Finnick,” She turned to point at the several crew waiting on the foredeck, “raise the spinnaker, now.” They quickly bustled to their jobs while she found herself at the head of the boat. Her arms crossed as she oversaw the work of her crew; great pride swelling in her chest to see how organized they were even without her voice like a well-oiled machine everyone did their part.

As the creaking boat turned, heading parallel now to the storm, Beidou hoped that it would stay on its heading so the Crux wouldn’t have to bear the brunt of its onslaught. It was now a waiting game, but if she knew anything about the ocean - it would be a win for her today.

Just then, a rope tying one of the many large sails snapped. Its reaction was like a domino effect and soon all hands were rushing to stop a potentially catastrophic outcome. Leaping over the railing, she landed hard onto the deck below, her feet finding solid ground long enough for her to push forward and, before the other crew had a chance to react, she was already climbing the mainmast as if it were a simple tree. It took her no time at all to reach the issue but the strong winds continued to whip around the ropes below her and by the time she managed to capture them - her eyes fell onto your frame.

In terrible slow motion, she watched as you reached for the rope only to have it collide into your chest and knock you back into another crew member. Her heart sank, her arms burned, her determination steadfast as she made quick work of the problem before dropping back down to you.

“Are you alright?” Someone called, their hands reaching to you as if to offer some assistance but Beidou knocked them away. Orders were told, tasks were assigned, and before you could object, she carried you into her quarters.

When the door closed and she sat you on her bed, you could already tell how upset she was. “Beidou -- it was an accident, I didn’t have good footing and …” She uncrossed your arms, you didn’t even realize that you were holding onto your chest. Carefully peeling back your tunic, she noticed the welt that was starting to grow in the area below your collarbone. With a huff, she walked away before returning with a cloth. “You’re being silly, it’s not that ba-AD!” You shouted, the cold material shocking you as it came into contact with your burning injury.

“This could have been much worse. You’re lucky it only bruised the surface.” Sitting next to you, she rested her knee near your lower back, and the warmth of her leg as she moved close to you somehow offset the ice on your chest.

“I’m just upset I didn’t grab it, it was right there and then … ah - that’s sore.” She tested your shoulder, pushing against it with her palm and shaking her head at the notion that you were going to have a painful recovery.

“You are a member of this crew and I have sworn an oath to protect you, but …” Her head dropped and she found it hard to continue. 'How could I let this happen' was written all over her expression.

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault. You’re an excellent captain.”

“A captain keeps her ship on course, its belly full, and its crew happy. How can I do that when my happiness is your wellbeing?” Her fingers ran over your ear, slipping in between the locks of your hair as if to show you how much she cherished you. Carefully, she leaned toward you, her lips connecting softly onto your shoulder as they trailed a path to your injury and even in the numbness of it you were still able to feel the heat from her love. “If you are ever out of your depth, allow me to be your lifeline.”

“Of course, as long as you trust me to know when I'm there.”

“Within reason.” As the boat rocked on the sea and the sky rumbled far into the distance, you captured the steady heart of the captain.

Jean

Jean would never intentionally harm you, the thought of putting someone innocent in danger makes her sick - as the acting Grandmaster she has a sworn duty to protect everyone around her from those who would do them harm

So when she's the one who caused your injury, she's beside herself with regret

She stood in her office, her back to the door as she let her mind wander on all the things that needed to be done. It was never-ending, and while she was always fulfilled by the products of her work, she often pushed herself so far that her body and mind became clouded.

Today was one of those days. The work, planning, problem-solving was weighing on her. There is never enough time, she thought to herself as she rested her head in her hand and squeezed tighter around her rib cage. She was distracted, so exhausted that her ears felt blocked, her body swayed even though she knew she wasn't moving, and her head throbbed.

"Jean ..." What needed to be done first, she pinched her nose and through harder. "Jean?" She sighed and attempted to stop the voices in her head.

"Jean, hey?" A hand touched her arm and in her daze, she turned suddenly. Her hand was further from her face than she expected and with a solid smack, she hit something.

"Ah!" Your startled voice shook her back to understanding, your expression and hand now covering your face sent her heart in the pit of her stomach.

"Y/N? I'm so sorry ..." She rested her hand on your arm and shakily reached for your face, her fingers tenderly touching the ones that hid you from her pained eyes. "I didn't -- are you badly hurt?"

"Ouch, you got me really good." You explained, scrunching and circling your nose but allowing her to take your hand.

"My mind was elsewhere, I am ... I'm sorry." She ran her hands over your face, the warm feeling of wind slipping from her fingers and soon your expression eased.

"Thanks, It was an accident, don't worry."

"An accident like this should have never occurred, it is unbecoming of me to allow myself to falter." She stepped away from you, afraid that any prolonged contact would make it worse.

"Jean, you're allowed to make mistakes, and look - I'm fine, see." You grinned proudly but she couldn't let it go.

"I need to make amends."

"Mmm, well then, I have an idea."

"What is it?" She looked at you hopeful, her eyes watching you as you stepped closer.

"I'll take a kiss as an apology." You tapped the side of your cheek and presented it to her.

With hesitating hands, she rested her fingers on the other side of your cheek and let her lips touch the skin she hurt, "I will be more observant in the future."

You turned your head, your face so close you could feel her breath, "I don't see how that's possible, but if it means I get to have more of your attention, I'll be okay with that."

You kissed her and wondered if she was able to heal through her lips.

Ganyu

The absolute sweetest soul in all of Teyvat. She cares deeply for all things, works hard to get the job done, and is dedicated in her actions - it's one reason why her contract with Rex Lapis was drafted; she is the epitome of ____

She would never maliciously hurt those around her and often puts herself in harm's way to keep others safe

To her, causing harm to someone she adores, loves, cherishes would be as severe as breaking her contract

The two of you ran through the field, your legs burning as you dashed across the landscape and away from your persistent pursuers.

"Ganyu! Up ahead!" You shouted, pointing to the higher ground and dashing in that direction. She followed, keeping an eye out on the enemies behind. To buy some time, she laid down her tantalizing cryo flower before picking up her pace to reach you.

"From here we can handle them more easily, just be ready." She nodded her head and pulled back her bow, ready to strike.

The fight was far more doable in this arena, each enemy falling one after another as the two of you fought in perfect sync. Charging her shot, she saw the ideal opportunity to hit multiple targets at once, but as soon as her arrow flew so did you.

"Y/N!" She shouted but you were too far away and, as soon as you reached them, prepping your sword for a swing, the arrow exploded hitting everything in its path. You yelled, sliding on the ground only to slam hard into the dusty surface. In an instant, everything that Ganyu was, and wasn't, aiming for fell.

Rushing forward, she reached you and quickly assessed your condition. Her hands hovering, her eyes scanning only to find the damage she had caused. Several small cuts appeared on your face, your arms were equally damaged and the despair that filled her was so great she prostrated herself before you. Her head resting on your hips as she bowed deeply.

"Ga-Ganyu? What are you doing?" You asked, setting your sword to the side as you looked down at her.

"I hurt you, please forgive me." You tried to pull her up but she shook her head and dug in deeper into her display.

"It was an accident, I wasn't looking and that was a good shot. I'm not hurt."

"You are!" She shot up, her eyes looking at the marks that she had created on your skin. "It was my fault that you have -- if-if they leave a scar ... I ..." She shook her head, unable to finish her thought.

"Ganyu ... they won't leave a scar, and even if they did, don't you think I'd look super cool?" You smiled but she hated it.

"It's not acceptable ... if you'd like to d-dismantle our contract, I understa-"

You wrapped your arms around her, squeezing tightly as you spoke. "I don't want that, I'd never want that. I need you, please don't ever think I'd be okay if you weren't at my side." After a moment, she returned the gesture and you felt the pressure of her nose dig into your neck. When she finally pulled away, you let your hands slide down her arms and rest into her delicate hands.

"I'll just have to practice harder." She nodded fiercely as she helped you stand up.

"If you insist." You laughed, thinking to yourself when she would ever find the time to do that.

tag list:

@clemmywrites @sufzku @plenilunegazes @lucacandy @marianadibenea @nonniechan @jaemjenjam @softlybeloved @excitedlysuffering

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact musings #genshin impact fiction #genshin impact ganyu #ganyu #ganyu x reader #jean #genshin jean #jean x reader #beidou #genshin beidou #beidou x reader

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professorspork · 3 years

Note

If you're accepting non-superhell prompts, I'd love to see a conversation between Nora and Emerald! I've been REALLY loving these microfics, I've subscribed to you on Ao3, I'll read whatever else you write

[Gahhh that’s so nice you’re so nice!! thanks for being patient on this one, finding my Nora took some doing]

It’s occurring to Emerald that she’s never had a close female friend before.

You say that like you’ve ever had any friends before, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Mercury needles her, but she brushes it aside. Like—okay, yeah, she’ll concede the point when it comes to Cinder. In hindsight, whatever they’d had going on between them may have been... super intense... but it probably had never been friendship, in the usual definition. But she and Mercury were friends, no matter what the judgy little shitstain version of him who lives in her head has to say about it. They’d always gotten along. Told each other stuff. It’s not like there’s more to it than that, right?

It had always been like that. Been—instinctive somehow, with guys. Before Cinder, on the street, it was always the men who’d been easiest to manipulate; who would empty their pockets for a smile and a sob story. And then she and Merc had been two sides of the same coin for so long, and then... well, Hazel’d liked her enough to die for her, apparently. (Which—that’s a door that she keeps closed, thanks. She shuts it firmly again, now.) Oscar seems fond of her, in a sweet, uncomplicated sort of way that she really doesn’t know what to do with, seeing as he shares headspace with like a trillion year old man and the idea that anything to do with that kid could be “uncomplicated” is batshit. Ren vouched for her once, and then again, and now he keeps doing it, like it’s habit, like she should just be used to the fact that people are going to have her back, to ask her if she’s eaten, to turn to her with a raised eyebrow in conversation like her opinion would be constructive.

Anyway.

Now that she’s noticed the pattern, it seems like the kind of thing she should probably… work on, or whatever. And Nora seems like an obvious place for Emerald to start. They’ve been thrown in together a lot, lately, Emerald and Oscar expected to fill in the gaps of what’s left of the old JNPR by default. Not that they’ve ever really had a conversation about it—Emerald can’t think of the last time Nora said two words to her that weren’t combat warnings like “more Grimm coming” or “on your left,” but. That’s probably just because things have been tense. She remembers Nora being friendly, on the whole of it. Off-puttingly friendly, even, back at Beacon.

How hard could it be?

The answer, it turns out, is absurdly hard. Nora’s barely ever in the temporary barracks they’re all living out of, instead always checking on the refugees, going on supply runs over esoteric requests, volunteering for extra patrols. Emerald used to find that kind of dogged do-goodery gag-inducing, but now that she’s been the helping hand herself a few times, she’s starting to see the appeal. The way people look at you when you’ve been of service, it’s—nice. Really nice. But Nora works utterly thankless jobs, the kind most people don’t even notice, let alone appreciate. And when they have their insufferably long leadership meetings and they’re talking about distribution of resources or whatever, Nora’s a fierce debater—jumping in to advocate for the people from Mantle sometimes even before May can. As far as Emerald can tell, she does this stuff just because... she believes in it. Because it’s the right thing to do, and someone has to.

She can’t imagine what it would feel like, to have the attention of someone like that turned on her. She’s craved it from the wrong people for so long, but now that she has her pick of options... she’s letting herself actually want the right kind, for once. She thinks.

Which is all to say that largely through no fault of her own, Emerald unexpectedly finds herself sitting with a profound, fervent desire for Nora Valkyrie to think she’s cool.

She hates that.

Fighting with Nora is easy.

(—er. Alongside. Fighting alongside Nora is easy. Emerald’s done fighting with these people. Very done.)

It’s weird, because Emerald’s finding working with a full team to be a real adjustment. When battles get big enough to merit it, she’s used to keeping to the sidelines to use her Semblance for nefarious purposes, or, in a jam, used to having Mercury’s six—literally, because all the forward momentum from his feet-first style always left his back wide open. Figuring out where to put herself so that Oscar can use her shoulder as a fulcrum as he dodges, or trying to aim for the Grimm Ren isn’t already shooting (ugh)—it’s taking work.

But somehow, it’s not work for Nora. Nora seems to anticipate with perfect ease how Emerald will move or what she’ll be doing; Nora bobs and weaves around their ragtag little band with her war hammer like it’s breathing.

It doesn’t bother Emerald until it does, and she means to bring it up casually but there’s never a good time. So it just… stews, and stews, until she can’t keep it bottled up anymore.

Which means that instead of the earnest question she intends it to be, it comes out like this:

“Okay, seriously? It’s creepy how you do that.”

It’s just the two of them, plus the handful of dweeby Atlesian tech-types they’re escorting back from their foray installing some fancy hydro-filtration modules on the outskirts of the camp. And it’s not like Emerald had felt outmatched by the half-dozen Ravagers that had decided they looked like lunch—she can shoot Ravagers in her sleep, at this point—but still. The way Nora had moved around her, it was like they’d been fighting side by side for years.

Nora just cocks her head to the side. “Do what?” she asks, like she hadn’t just basically read Emerald’s mind in front of the water nerds.

Emerald does a complicated gesture with her hands, wrist over wrist, and then flicking two fingers—trying to evoke the way Nora had flipped over Emerald’s back and then kicked off, just trusting Emerald would reel her back in with a chain in midair before a Grimm could fly away with her sorry ass. “That.”

“Oh!” Nora laughs and rubs at the back of her neck, looking sheepish. “It’s nothing. I guess it’s just not a big deal for me? Like—I was there when Ren built StormFlower. The cables are newish, but we practiced so much back in Atlas… I dunno. It’s just reflex, when your weapons are so similar. Fighting with you, it’s almost like fighting with him. I don’t even have to think about it.”

Nora swallows, then, and makes a face Emerald can’t interpret—disappointed, maybe, or ashamed. Which: good. She probably should be, taking things for granted like that.

“Well—just—” Emerald’s not even sure what she wants to say. Ask, next time? Don’t? “You shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m not your boyfriend, okay?”

The venom she puts behind the word is directed more at herself than Nora—frustrated, again, that she’s put herself in the position of wanting so desperately to be liked.

Pathetic.

Nora just nods, looking glum.

“Yeah,” she murmurs, cheeks pulling in a bitter smile. “You’d think I’d be able to keep that one straight, huh?”

She says it with such pointed irony that for a second Emerald wonders if she’d gotten it wrong somehow, but like—Nora and Ren are a thing, right? That’s—everyone knows that.

“Hey, what—?”

“Let’s just go,” Nora says, and Emerald automatically falls into line behind her.

They make the rest of the walk back in silence.

Sometimes at night, when she can’t sleep, Emerald likes to climb up to the roof of the barracks and look out over the refugee camp.

It’s—peaceful, is all. A good reminder of where she is; how far she’s come. The night sky in Vacuo has more stars than she’s ever seen, and being able to watch over all these people who have somehow become her responsibility… well.

A part of her will always be standing on the rooftop at Beacon, looking down on pure chaos as a queasy, frightened sensation twists in her gut and its noxious voice whispers you did this, you did this, you did this. What did you think was going to happen, you stupid little girl? You don’t get to feel sorry for it now.

But she does.

Weird how the only thing that’s helped is actually doing something about it.

She hears a scuffling noise over her shoulder, and she’s got Thief’s Respite drawn and ready before she can even really register what she’s heard. She relaxes when she sees it’s Nora at the other end of the barrels, unarmed and hands raised—a funny little smile on her face, like yeah, fair enough, I should have known better than to try and sneak up.

“Just me,” she says, unnecessarily.

Emerald holsters her guns. “Can I help you?” she asks, and—what is it about her voice, that makes sentences that would be nice if any other human said them come out straight-up hostile?

Nora shrugs, hands dropping to her sides. “I was hoping we could talk; I figured you’d come up here if I waited long enough.”

Well, see—what kind of lesson is she supposed to take from that? She’s been hoping for Nora to talk to her for weeks, and acting like a bitch is the thing that gets her what she wants? Good guys are supposed to know better.

And there’s the way she said it, too. Like everyone knows Emerald comes up here to brood; like it’s a big open secret. The knowledge sits uncomfortably in her stomach, makes her feel watched. Even now, even here, she can’t get a moment alone. Not really.

“What, so you’re spying on me now?”

Nora’s eyes narrow. “I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to losing people. Makes a girl want to put in a little hustle when it comes to keeping tabs on her friends.”

And Emerald would snark at that, or maybe apologize, or something, only—

Nora thinks they’re friends?

“Well, take a seat, I guess,” she mumbles, scooching to the side as though she needs to make room on the massive, empty roof.

Nora walks over and joins Emerald on the asphalt, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Seemingly unsure of where to start, she stares at her hands. Emerald stares too, but her eyes can’t help but wander—tracing the way scars, silvery in the moonlight, spiderweb up Nora’s bare wrists and forearms to fetter her shoulders, clavicle, neck. Like cracks in a pane of glass, right before it shatters.

(Only that’s not it at all, is it? It’s not a sign of weakness, but a warning of strength. I care this much, her scars announce to the word. You wanna try me?

Hazel’s arms always looked like that.)

Emerald doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, sure that whatever she’d say would be incredibly stupid.

Luckily, Nora has no such qualms, and opens with: “I really admire you, you know?”

Emerald stares, jaw slack, certain she’s heard wrong. “I—what?” She’d say something defensive, like yeah right or you don’t have to make fun of me, only Nora’s eyes are so wide and so guileless they don’t leave any room for argument.

“I mean it,” Nora adds. “I know we don’t know all that much about each other, but… here’s what I do know: I can’t remember a time I saw you without Mercury right behind. Just like me’n Ren. And the way you fought for Cinder…” Nora smiles a sad, private little smile. “You don’t fight like that unless it’s personal; unless someone means something to you. Just like me’n Ren. And now you’re here. All on your own. And you didn’t have to be. That’s—don’t you think that’s crazy brave? I sure do.”

Of course she fucking doesn’t. Crazy brave would have been walking away the first, tenth, hundredth time she had a flash of panic about what she was doing. Or, better yet, doing something about it. Crazy brave is taking thirty thousand volts to get to your friends; it’s flooding your veins with pure crystalline power and saying Go, I’m doing what Gretchen would have done, it’s—

She closes that door.

“It’s not like I really had a choice,” she sighs, dodging the question.

“Oh, you know that’s not true,” Nora scoffs dismissively, tilting sideways to nudge Emerald with her shoulder.

And Emerald jolts, because—look, it’s not like no one touches her. They have to manhandle each other all the time in battle, and… and Oscar gives her high fives sometimes, which makes her embarrassingly pleased. But what Nora’s offering now, that kind of buddy-buddy casual contact…

… it’s been a while, is all.

“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Emerald asks, overwhelmed and suddenly desperate to find a way to get this conversation over with. She feels like she’s sprinted five miles; like she’s had the crap kicked out of her and she has to go somewhere to lick her wounds. Too much, too fast.

Nora laughs—a chuffing, cynical noise that doesn’t sound at all like her. “Looking for pointers? See, I’m trying this thing where I do things on my own, but I just—I suck at it. Like today; you saw. Even when I’m not with Ren, all I do is… is act exactly the same way I do when I’m with Ren. Like I literally don’t know how to exist without him, whether he’s actually there or not. And I know that’s not fair to anyone; I didn’t mean to treat you like—” She shakes her head, biting her lip. “You’re not just some stand-in. It’s not you at all. I’m just—broken, or something. One trick pony.”

“No, hey—”

“But you figured it out,” she barrels on, which is good, because Emerald doesn’t actually have a clue what she would have said there. “You don’t have anyone and somehow you’re just, like—good to go!” Nora says it cheerily, like it’s a compliment, but has the grace to balk a little when she hears how it sounds. “…sorry. That’s—sorry.”

Emerald shrugs, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She feels like an idiot; building it up for weeks like spending time with Nora would solve all her problems when, surprise surprise, Nora’s just as fucked up as she is.

“Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have any hot tips,” she mutters into the crooks of her elbows. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like—you want to know the really sad part? I was just following your lead.”

“My…?” Nora can’t even finish repeating it, which: Emerald can’t blame her. It’s so dumb. “Huh?”

“Come on. You know.”

“I don’t,” Nora says, voice thick with exhaustion. Like she’s sick of herself. “Ask anyone—I’m not the brains of the operation.”

Hearing Nora talk about herself that way makes Emerald’s chest feel tight; like her ribs have locked in place so her lungs can’t expand. She doesn’t know how to explain it; not without sounding like a starry-eyed fangirl or a moron with a crush and that’s not what this—it’s only that—

She chooses to start a different way.

“You wanna know why I switched sides? Like, really why?”

Nora softens, and reaches out to touch the back of Emerald’s left hand, where it dangles over her knee. “Sure,” she says, but Emerald barely hears it; it’s taking all of her concentration not to clench her fist or pull away in response.

“I overheard Oscar—or, Ozpin, I guess, I don’t know—talking to Hazel about Salem, about her goals. And… listen. No one joins under Salem because they’re trying to kill the world, okay? I mean, no one but Tyrian, anyway. We were all just trying to… find ways to get by. And when Cinder found me, she—” Emerald swallows, hard. This cuts too deep, too close. It’s not something she can just say. “I wasn’t trying to be some big villain, or something. I was just—looking out for the people who were looking out for me. And why wouldn’t I? No one else ever seemed to think I was worth it.”

“Of course you are,” Nora cuts in, quiet but vehement. “Everyone is.”

“See, the worst part is that you mean that when you say it,” Emerald grumbles, scrubbing at her face until smears of color kaleidoscope behind her closed eyes. “I figured people like you didn’t exist, and then Cinder and Merc were glad to prove me right, and—I let them. You know? And maybe if I’d just held out a little longer…”

“You’re not the only one here who’s ashamed of her past. Harriet tried to blow up Mantle, like, a month ago.”

“That’s not—forget that. I’m talking about you. Nora.” It’s the first time she’s ever said her name like that—addressing her, in conversation. It feels… astonishingly intimate, for so small a thing. Emerald powers past it. “Every day, I see you do something ridiculous, like double back on a patrol because you forgot you promised some kid a candy bar, or something, and that—matters. To me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not, because… argh! I want—it’s—” She tries to get her mouth to form the words, that’s the kind of person I want to be, but they stop in her throat.

Still, Nora seems to get the message. Her eyes seem suspiciously shiny for a moment—but when she blinks, it’s gone. “I… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Emerald grumbles. Saying it like she means it: seriously. Don’t mention it.

“I understand what you mean, though. For years, the only person who looked out for me was Ren. And if he’d said…” Nora trails off, then, cocking her head to the side as she works through something. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, just. I remembered something. I was about to say that if Ren told me the only way for us to get by was a life of crime, or something, I would’ve taken his word for it, but—the opposite happened. We decided to enroll at Beacon. And that wasn’t his idea; it was mine. I always wanted to be a Huntress. To… to be the one strong enough to help people, instead of always needing the help. He wasn’t sure if we would make it, but I was. We were together, right? How could we lose?” She chuckles, a little, shaking her head at herself. “Get a load of that. He followed me.”

They smile at each other, then. Like they’ve figured out something profound. Maybe Nora has; Emerald hopes so.

“I’m glad you’re here, Emerald,” Nora says, and—there it is again. The frisson of electricity that comes with being referred to by name.

Of course, then Emerald ruins it by blurting out:

“Of course you are, all your other friends are dead.”

Which—“Fuck!” she sputters, because she didn’t mean to say that. What is wrong with her? “Sorry! Sorry.”

Nora only grins at her, feral and incisive. “Yeah, well. Yours are evil, so. Pick your poison. At least I’m proud of mine.”

Touché.

“Still glad I’m here?” Emerald jeers, because her first instinct is still to press on the bruise to see how much it hurts.

Nora laughs, and gets to her feet. “Believe it or not, yes. If putting your foot in your mouth was all it took to get booted from Hero Club, I’d have been kicked out a long time ago.” She reaches down to offer Emerald a hand; Emerald takes it, letting Nora pull her to standing. “Now go and get some rest, huh? None of us can ever sleep when you’re up here thinking so loud.”

“That an order?”

“Advice. Friends give it, from time to time.”

And—yeah. Maybe they do.

#typeoneninja #emerald sustrai #nora valkyrie #rwby #emerald and nora #fic what i wrote

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hxseok-honee · 3 years

Text

sundress || part 17

written portion under the cut!

sundress [part 17] || the jealous girlfriend card

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : [and it's hard to keep my cool // when other bitches tryna get with my dude] streets x doja cat

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___________________________

Thursday, 21 October, 5:08pm

“I just want to know what you were expecting to accomplish with that--”

“I regret coming back to talk to you.” Yoongi laughs with his entire body, bending over at the waist to put his hands on his knees as Y/n approaches him. With a roll of her eyes, she’s handing him the coffee she’d bought him, almost tempted to drink it herself now that she’s seeing how much fun he’s having with her embarrassment.

He’d been waiting for her in the Entrance Hall, a smirk gracing his features when she’d turned the corner and made eye contact with him. It had taken everything in her power not to turn right back around and go upstairs to her room.

“I’m sorry for laughing at you, it’s just -- I’ve never seen you be so impulsive. I was hooked.” He leads her out of the castle and through the courtyard, Y/n almost tempted to cover her face in embarrassment at the memory of the events that had occurred here no less than two hours ago.

They cross the grounds, making their way to a small bench down by the lake. They aren’t alone, small groups of friends sitting in the sand and strolling along the shore all around them -- but it’s a private enough spot to talk. Yoongi sits down with a sigh, waiting until Y/n’s seated next to him to scoot in toward her, one arm around her shoulders as he sips at his coffee.

“So? Start talking, Loser. I wanna know everything.” Y/n rolls her eyes, because this feels like an interrogation and she’s not entirely sure she has the answers. When she doesn’t respond, Yoongi looks at her out of the corner of his eye.

“You know I’m fully aware that you weren’t just acting out of the good of our ‘relationship’, right?” She keeps her eyes trained solely on her lap, picking at non-existent lint on her pants while she thinks.

“I dunno -- I’ve just never really seen you hanging out with other people before.” He smiles, because that was vaguely insulting, but he finds it amusing mostly because it’s true.

“That’s fair… but she wasn’t some random girl, Y/n -- you know that I know her -- that was Selene? We’re not close, but we share most of our classes.” Y/n nods, having seen the girl around Slytherin common room before. She’s also aware that this is someone Yoongi talks to regularly -- not often in person, but Y/n’s seen him texting her frequently enough to remember her name. She doesn’t want to admit that might have something to do with how she’d reacted, but Yoongi’s already seeing it in her face.

“You know we text mostly because we’re both really bad students and we need to share notes a lot?” Y/n nods again, feeling dumber by the second. Yoongi only sighs. “Can you please say something?”

“She’s pretty.” It’s the only thing that comes out, no explanation offered afterward. Yoongi purses his lips to hide his smile, turning to look at her.

“You’re prettier.” She rolls her eyes, hating that she’s unable to stop the corners of her lips from turning up, because Yoongi’s objectively cute when he’s being gross and cheesy.

“I didn’t say that so you could compliment me.”

“But I did, anyway.” They’re quiet for a moment, people-watching all the clusters of students around them as they think of how to continue this conversation. And then Yoongi’s leaning forward, setting his elbows on his knees and staring out at the lake as he passes his coffee cup back and forth in his hands.

“You’re not worried, are you?” It’s quiet, mostly lost in the wind, but she catches just enough to know what he’s really asking -- if she still trusts him and his commitment to her, no matter how fake of a relationship this is.

“It’s not you I don’t trust, Yoongi.” He looks back at her, eyes serious.

“Then?” Y/n sighs, rolling her eyes before gesturing discreetly out to a group of 7th years not far away. He looks over at them, finding that two of the girls are whispering to each other and glancing in his direction every few seconds. He can’t help but smile, because Y/n is genuinely annoyed by the constant attention he gets, but he hasn’t noticed a thing since they formed this little arrangement. And he always noticed.

Unable to resist teasing Y/n and lightening the mood, he sits up, leaning back against the bench and scooting in until he and Y/n are huddled together. He tilts his head in her direction, whispering conspiratorially to her.

“What’s the problem with a couple girls checking me out? The entire school thinks we’re together, so they know I’m taken.” She leans in similarly, her voice laced with irritation.

“That’s the problem. It’s like everyone’s just watching us and waiting for you to be single again.”

“Okay, but I’m not single, and I don’t plan on being single for a long time -- they’ll get bored of watching eventually.” He reaches out and takes her hand when he says it, pulling it into his lap and threading their fingers together. When he looks, the two girls are still staring, gossiping to each other as they gawk at his and Y/n’s joined hands. He sighs softly, because now he’s understanding why Y/n’s so bothered.

“Alright, it’s a little annoying.” She snorts humorlessly next to him, and he’s turning to her with a smile, trying to calm her. “Any way you can just ignore them?” She nods, reassuring him that she’s fine, even though it’s technically a lie. She’s not going to be able to ignore them, but she can do her best to get used to them.

She feels bad, if she’s honest -- it’s not like it’s Yoongi’s fault that he’s still getting attention even after this month or so of being in a fake relationship with her, and she’s fully aware that he’s not once even glanced at another person. She feels like she’d taken her insecurities out on him today, entirely on impulse, when he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Hey.” Her eyes flick over to him, and she sees that he’s watching her, a knowing smile on his face. “Look at you -- you look so guilty.” His eyes have that teasing glint to them again, but she’s feeling too embarrassed to play along, so she looks away, pouting out at the lake while she tries to figure out how to apologize. It only makes Yoongi more fond.

“I’m sorry I pulled the jealous girlfriend card… you didn’t deserve that.” She doesn’t see Yoongi’s smile growing, too stubborn to meet his eyes again.

“So you were jealous.” Immediately, she’s turning to him, eyes wild.

“No? I was not? That was just the act I was doing.”

“So then what were you feeling?” He’s openly mocking her now, wide smile on his face while he looks at her playfully. She huffs once in annoyance.

“I don’t know -- insecure?” The smile drops from his face at her response -- he hadn’t been expecting something so candid.

“Insecure…?” Y/n turns away, face warming at how seriously he’s looking at her. It’s embarrassing. This conversation is embarrassing.

“Hey.” Yoongi squeezes her hand, and her eyes flick quickly to him and back again. “Don’t do that. Don’t shut down like that.” Knowing she’s being unreasonable -- this is Yoongi, after all -- she turns to him, grimacing when she sees the reproach in his eyes.

“It… feels like no one’s taking our ‘relationship’ seriously. That everyone thinks I’m just… your temporary plaything.” Yoongi blinks, shocked. He’d barely even noticed the people staring at him, so the realization that Y/n’s been thinking about this long enough to have come to such an unsettling conclusion… it bothers him.

“Have I… given you a reason to feel temporary?” He knows the answer. He knows she’ll say no. But he can’t help but need the confirmation. He needs to hear it, or else this is going to eat at him.

“No-- Yoongi, no.” He’d been looking away when he asked, but he’s pulled aggressively back to her, so he turns his head to meet her eyes. She’s frowning deeply, upset that he’d even ask. “It’s not you, I swear. You’re perfect.” He can’t help the smile that pulls at the corners of his lips at the unexpected compliment. She pushes further, drawing that playful smile out of him again. “I promise it’s not you. Never you.”

She’s so cute, he thinks, because she’s looking at him like she’d do anything to get him to believe her, and that alone eases any anxiety that had been crawling up the back of his neck. He bites at his lip in contemplation, blinking back at her and pursing his lips with amusement when her frown only worsens with his silence.

And then he’s leaning in, pressing his lips to her cheek and staying close to her when he pulls away.

“I don’t like it when you’re focused on other people. Just look at me from now on.” Eyeing him carefully, Y/n nods, but he can tell she still feels guilty, because her pout hasn’t gone away. With a fond smile, he slides his free hand to the back of her neck, pulling her back in.

His kiss is soft and easy, like he’s in no rush to pull away. It makes her heart flutter, because she knows why he’s done it -- she knows he’s still aware of the girls watching them, that he’s trying to ease her mind with a display that’ll solidify to everyone watching that he’s taken. That he’s hers.

When he pulls away, he lingers near her, nudging his lips forward into hers lightly a few more times until he sees the ghost of a smile on her features -- and then he’s planting one more full kiss on her lips, because that’s the one that’ll bring out her smile the most. The one that reaches her eyes and makes her nose crinkle with embarrassment. He likes that one a lot. Only when he sees it does he back off, leaning away to look at her with a fond smile. She nudges him with her elbow, because he’s being really cheesy right now and she hates that it’s so endearing to her.

“You’re an idiot.” He nods easily, humming pleasantly at her assessment.

“Yeah. I am. But, lucky for you, I’m your idiot. No one else’s.” With a roll of her eyes, Y/n’s pulling their joined hands into her lap, playing idly with Yoongi’s fingers while they fall into comfortable silence. And then she’s snickering, thinking back to everything they’d talked about. He hums with interest as he reaches for the coffee he’d set down next to him on the bench some time ago.

“You know, you called me ‘baby’ a lot today. You never do that.” He blinks when she says it, realizing that he had in fact said it a lot while they were texting and on Twitter. With a tilt of his head, he’s looking at her.

“I guess I did… maybe I knew something was up with you. I’m feeling really soft for you today.” Y/n scoffs at him, rolling her eyes. Someone passes by behind them, and she wonders how they must sound when people overhear them — probably a lot like a real couple.

“I feel like… we had this entire conversation like two people actually dating.” Yoongi lifts a brow, remembering how this whole talk had gone as he sips at his drink, now lukewarm. And then he’s chuckling, because she’s not wrong.

“We’re nothing if not convincing.” She smiles, nodding along. They leave it there, only staring out at the lake together, not even realizing that if they’d just continue this conversation, they’d probably end up somewhere dangerous -- in a place where things would change. Or maybe they do realize it, and they’re just not ready to change. Maybe they like it here a little too much, and they’d rather stay a while.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“I actually really liked the jealous girlfriend card.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… It was kinda hot.”

“… I’m leaving.”

#bts au #bts smau #bts social media au #bts texts #bts hogwarts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi texts

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minshookie · 3 years

Text

CEO!BTS Reaction to:

You flinching during an argument.

| !warning! | violence, unhealthy relationships, abusive relationship, yandere Bts, choking and sexual topics 18+, dubcon, oral [fem receiving & giving], strong language [Jimin has a potty mouth!!!] rough play.

| this is not in anyway shape or form a true depiction or representation of BTS, this is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously. For entertainment purposes only.|(this is my work, please don’t repost or steal)

| Requested [requests open]

A/N | the amount of time I’m taking to get these request done correctly is embarrassing i apologize. I hope you don’t mind that I turned this into a whole reaction and that it’s not fluffy...lmk if you’d like me to change it I certainly will.

Forgive me for mistakes, though this is edited.

Kim Seokjin...

“Ok well what was that out there?” He spoke ominously back turned to you. “I- we-.” Laughing at your lack of response, he cut you off. “You fucked up that’s what it was hun.”

“Come sit on the desk, I want to see you apologize for making me look like an idiot.” He spat the last part like it was disgusting on his tongue. Already in deep trouble you decided to follow directions for once.

Turing smoothly in his office chair, you could see the resentment in his eyes. “Go on.” You swallowed thickly, his angered glare drying your throat. “I’m sorry for....correcting you during today’s meeting.” He scoffed, “there was nothing to correct!”

“Jin you can’t always be right, if you took that agreement, you’d never hit anything close to pro-” “who’s the boss? Hm? Who’s name is on this desk you have your tight ass planted on?” Mistakingly you let your eyes roll out of pure annoyance.

“Well excuse me?!” He leans forward quickly out of his chair, causing you to fall opposite of him. Pens poke at your back, his name plaque digging into your arm. Evilly he grins in enjoyment. “Found your place yet?, you seem afraid...afraid I’d hit you?” Wide eyed you nod, trapped like a mouse under its predator. Every inch of confidence stripped as he glared deeply into you. “Good.” Before you could even process his statement, you were harshly distracted by his rough hand landing across your cheek. Your head turns the other way as your right cheek tingles and burns. Chuckling he grips your chin forcing you to look at him.

“Find your place, and if you’ve forgotten it, I can help you find it...just like that,anytime.”

Min Yoongi...

Watching in envy, you pushed miscellaneous papers into the shredder. What a bitch! You saw her watching Yoongi all day just waiting for him to go to his office. So she could prance in there, thong up her ass, low cut shirt...the works.

“Yah! Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” Jumping in fear , peeking down you found out what you’ve been shredding. He shoved you to the side turning off the shredder. “All those papers we needed for next week’s evaluation and review meeting...” you looked from the shredder back to him shrugging nonchalantly. Already having Somebody in your boyfriends office flirting him into hard on, the last thing you need is more work. “We’ll go fucking print some more of them.” He demanded his face stiff. Jin never liked you, maybe you’ll have Yoongi fire him.

You walked holding the last remaining sheet fully intact for reference, did Jin really think you were going to the copy room? What a dunce. Ignoring the meeting in progress light you pushed the heavy door open. “Hey y/n I’m sorry we’re in the middle of something.” You could tell he was just laughing at something a tint of red on his cheeks. Him kicking you out...this should be the other way. This hurt. “Me?” You gasped. She turned her silky hair fanning. “Y/n when we’re done I’ll come find you Alright?” She spoke a little above a whisper.“Don’t speak to me.” You glared at her walking further into the office. Obviously she’s confused about her rightful place, and Yoongi is too.

“You, get out.” She stretched her eyes looking back and forth from you to Yoongi. “Now.” “Min you can’t let her kick me out.” She scoffed, “I’ll speak to you later alright.” He smiled warmly,She got up storming from his room. “Yoongi what exactly was that?” He sat back in his chair. “A meeting.” “A meeting with what her left tit?” He closed his eyes harshly at your vulgarity. “No a meeting with your colleague about her position.” He offers the seat in front of him, gladly you take said offer.

“But what you did was uncalled for.” Laughing he leaned forward onto the table. He beacons you to follow, leaning forward you fall right into his trap upset he gripped your face making your cheeks squish. “Don’t ever come back in my office acting this way again, understood?” Nodding the best you could. “Huh? Understood?” “Yeah!” He let go leaving a ache in his wake. Before going back he reached for you again instinctively you pull back as if he was going to strike you. “Hm, I don’t treat you that harsh but I will...keep testing me.” He finished, only coming close to fix your hair.

Kim Namjoon...

Another day held the same daily routine, wake up Joon, cook breakfast, clean get dressed and head to work, work, eat lunch in Joon’s office, work,go home, and restart.

Today Joon had lunch delivered, practically throwing his money like confetti paper, much to the delight of his employees. Both of you sat on the floor of his office, enjoying the home style take out in silence. Without noticing all your attention was being absorbed by your phone. “What’s so intriguing kitten?” Your fingers stopped in their place “just texting a friend.” You looked at him through your lashes before going back to typing. He closed his take out container, he finished his meal and sneakily proceeded onto yours. Surprised by your lack of protests he spoke again.

“Oh yeah? And whose this friend?” He mumbled still chewing. “Someone I might know?” You nodded in response, unsatisfied he got up going to wash his hands in his office restroom. “Their name would be helpful y/n.” Just from his tone alone you could tell he was nearing impatience. “He works here, I’m just helping him...explaining how the log in system works he’s locked out at the moment.”

Joon no longer cared for their name and you knew it. “Oh ‘he’?” You nodded, he came drying his hands with his initialed towels. “New guy...Choi?” You looked up fully for the first time in a while. “Yeah, Soobin.” He nodded,Sitting in his desk turning to some papers. Nothing left to say you looked back down at your massages. “I’d like you to eat though, I don’t want you going hungry.” He ordered you around like a father and you obeyed.

Chewing, you almost choked as Soobin sent a joke that you weren’t ready for. Joon raised a brow, “a funny one huh? Let me see.” He looked down at you hand out flat. Your eyes went doe, there is no way your letting Joon read this vulgar joke. Soobin would be out of a job just as quick as he got one. “C’mon let me see, don’t make me take it.” Maybe he’ll laugh about it too, you gave up the device.

At first he squinted before his eyes grew wide. “ ‘This copy machine looks like the one from those cheesy office pornos....let’s make one?’ Y/N this is who you’re waisting your time on?” Rolling your eyes you went back to your meal, annoyed he didn’t find the harmless joke amusing. “Joon he was joking, it’s not like he knows I’m dating someone.”

You felt wind brush past you and a crashing sound occurred from behind, startled you made eye contact. “I had half the mind to throw that piece of shit at your head.” His angered expression taking you aback, you must’ve forgotten Joon is the extremely jealous type. “Go get it, bring it back to me.” Slowly turning trying not to take your eye off of him, you retrieved the shattered phone. Harshly he took it from your hands. Tapping before turning it to you, “block him.” You flinched at his sudden hand movement. “Don’t flinch away from me, block the bastard, before I’m the one bending you over the copy machine.”

Jung Hoseok...

Slouching in the pool chair you observed as the other women splashed and paddled around like children. You don’t usually go to these types of things, and neither does Hoseok. But this time it was important, he was here solely to kiss butt with his new business partners.

He practically forced you to put on your swimsuit, fully planning on walking you around like a show dog for the evening. Crossing your legs you brought your straw to your lips. You’d planned on getting in the pool, but apparently you weren’t good enough for the other wives...or affairs in the pool at the moment.So to spare the embarrassment you decided to watch.

“Enjoying yourself?” Hoseok came behind you patting your head softly. “Hm I guess.” You placed your drink away. “Hobi I’m ready to go. home.” You pouted, his hand still on the chair he came to your side. “Home? We’ve just got here an hour ago.” Nodding at his true statement you turned to look at him. “Yeah...and now I’m ready to go home.” Rolling his eyes he squatted to your level. “C’mon baby, go make a friend in the pool, splash around yeah?”

“No, I’m tired.” He groaned putting his head on your shoulder. “Y/n, boo don’t be a brat, you wanna go inside, wanna find a bed for you?” “Hm will you stay with me?” He looked over his shoulder, “ah Bruce wants to talk cuts and coverage a bit more, I can show you to a ro-” “nooo hobi!”

Panicking he pinched you to lower your volume. The party in the pool ceased and all eyes were on you. You’d learned how to cheat the system,It usually didn’t take much pouting from you to get your way. “c’mon get up.” He pulled me roughly by my forearm almost making you trip over your feet. He pulled you into the spacious home, up the stairs and into a hall. “Here let’s go in this room hobi.” You could tell by the look on his face hobi didn’t come to rest.

“Do you get off on making me look like an idiot?” He spoke close to your face. “Hey, I told you i wanted-” he covered your mouth with his large hand. “I don’t give a fuck what you want, now shut up and get in that fucking room.” Meekly you followed his order. “I’m sorry hobi.” “Ah I said shut up!” You stood in the middle of the decretive room, “down.” Down on your knees before him he looked down disgusted.

“Now make my cock hard so I can teach you how to use your loud ass mouth correctly.” Hesitantly you leaned forward, he groaned loudly reaching for you making you backwards in response. “Quickly, and don’t you dare run away.” He grabbed your hair, now under his full control.

Kim Taehyung...

“Mm how does it feel being my right hand lady?”

“Well seems like I’m on top of you right now.”

“I love how smart you are baby.”

Taehyung had recently promoted you to his secretary, now you can’t help but be in his office all day. Dreamily he looked up into your eyes as you straddled him. “Round 2 huh?” He huffed making you giggle, “let’s not indulge Taetae.” You nipped at the shell of his ear, he gripped your ass tightly. “What else do you have to do, I distributed your work along all the employees you’re here to have fun!”

“Well the phone has been ringing like crazy let me answer at least one call!” You climbed off, your skirt still scrunched around your waist your panties to the side. “Ahhh the baby wants to feel like a big woman go on answer.” Smiling with accomplishment, you picked up the phone. “Hello this is y/n y/l/n, answering for Kim Taehyung.” It was actually another secretary on the line you took notes as he spoke. You felt so responsible you knew Taehyung would be proud, you looked over to see his approval only to find him not there.

Confused you held conversation, until you felt something warm glide along your thigh making you Yelp. “Ah I’m sorry, Mr Lee, repeat that?” In fear you looked under your desk, mischievously Taehyung winked at you. You went back to the conversation, as he lapped your heat. You were already so sensitive you wouldn’t last a minute more of this. “Stop it please Tae.” You hissed pressing the phone to your chest. He did the opposite, penetrating you with his longest digit. Curling his finger and assaulting your clit, if the lewd sound of slurping could be heard by you you knew it could be heard over the phone. Quickly you hung up, very upset you squeezed his head between your thighs.

“Cumming baby?” “No, quitting.” He pulled back confused “what?” You fixed you panties, pulling your skirt back over yourself. “I asked you to let me do one thing, and still you couldn’t keep off of me.” He crawled from under your desk. “Who was on the phone?” He asked dryly, you looked over your notes. “Mr Lee.” “Oh, he calls everyday for his boss they have nothing to offer so we have nothing to give.” You nodded making a note to avoid his calls. “Anything else?” He shook his head going back to his desk with a deep sigh.

Oh good grief, you huffed falling back into your chair, you’ve gotten upset with him and now he’s going to mope around. “TaeTae, please understand I do actually want to work, we’ve talked about this.” You spun your chair to look at him, he looked at you inquisitively. “Maybe you should go back downstairs, I don’t want to distract you.” You could feel your eyes stretching. “Tae! No it’s not that serious.” “No no, your cubicle is still empty, the largest one.” You crossed your arms. “You’ll get the raise you just won’t be here honey...maybe I’ll offer the position to Sana.” He turned from you to go in his computer. “No, I’m not going.” “Bye Y/n see you tonight.” He mumbled nonchalantly.

“No Taehyung.” He gave a grim chuckle. “Stop being hard headed, go fetch Sana for me will you....love you.” “No kim Taehyung, this is MY job!” The phone rung and you picked it up, “hello this is-” He came pulling the phone from you slamming it to hang it up you flinched harshly. “Y/L/N, I won’t ask you agin, get out or do what I promoted you here to do.” He looked into your eyes devilishly. You complied removing your skirt, playtime was over, you sadly knew your place. “Perfect girl.”

Park Jimin...

“I’ll beat your ass come here. Now.” You stood in his office doorway, fear quaking over you. “Y/n...now.” he leaned on his desk looking you up and down. You walked in to what seemed to be your demise. “The door, close it, lock it.” “Mr Park please.” He got up walking behind you and slamming the door before walking in front of you again. “Where the fuck! Were you.” You looked at him, head fogged unsure of an answer. “I-I Mr Park...I’ve been here at work since 3 AM actually...before you got here.” He laughed lightly.

“I didn’t want your schedule, I know your damn schedule, the meeting today’s meeting.” You toyed with your fingers, “OH...oh Mr Park I forgot you needed me I’m sorry h-how did it go?” “We fucking lost the deal, the information you dug up is what we needed and you were somewhere in LaLa land.” He dug his hands into his hair. “C‘mere.” He sat on the leather couch that decorated his office. “Please Mr Park, I’ll stay late and I’ll beg for another meeting date.” He shook his head “no, c’mere.” You stood still pleading with your eyes. “I’ll drag you by your cheap blow out, bring your ass here.” You shuffled to him, he pulled your dress bending you over his knee.

He pulled your dress up, “Mr Park what will your wife say?” You began to tear up, why would he choose you to give his violent love to. “Ha, she’ll say “fuck me harder” later tonight why?” You shook your head refusing to respond. “Look into the mirror.” You obliged. He pulled his hand up just stoping before it hit you causing you to shudder a jerk violently. “ Do you fear me y/n?” You nodded almost sobbing. “I’ve trained you well...head up...be a big girl.”

Jeon Jungkook...

The whole building was draped in a gloomy mood as Jungkook stalked about looking for something to nitpick. Earlier today you and Jungkook had a falling out on the way to work about how close you were getting with one of your male coworkers. And said coworker that just happened to be your cubicle neighbor. He rounded your area multiple times, chastising said coworker, sending him on errands and putting him down again and again.

Seeing how it was affecting the newbie, you finally turned to Jungkook. “Mr Jeon, can I speak to you.” “No.” He turned quickly before going back to chastise the frightened employee. “Slip up again, and I’ll make sure you’re looking at a deep fryer for the rest of your life Kang.” He whispered just loud enough for you to catch it.

“Mr Jeon please, for a minute.” He clears his throat leaving your area. Your face grew hotter by the minute, you got up going to talk to your distraught friend. “Hey, listen he’s all bark and no bite what do you need help with?” You smiled warmly remembering how it felt to be new in a place like this.

“Well every time I answer the phone and start the question pro-” a heavy hand lands on his and your shoulder “who said this was a social hour y/l/n” a sigh came from deep inside of you. “ Damn it Kookie-” “who? Excuse me?” His eyes widening. “Jungkook- Jeon- I’m sorry...I’m sorry Mr Jeon.” He eyed the two of you “hm...kang get to work, y/l/n you too.” He began to walk away. “Y/n I’ll send you an email, I really need help on this.”

“Email her I dare you.” You spun in your chair “Mr jeon please! He’ll never get better if I don’t.” He rolled his eyes taking off his glasses, “what was he trained for if he can’t use the damn computer?” Everyone in the office was watching the dispute. “Pft I was trained on any of this! I had you holding my hand the whole way why can’t he?” He started waking the other way, his face glowing crimson. “Get in my office, now y/n.” You sat turning to your work. “No Jeon. I won’t.” “Y/n you can come to my office, or clock out and go home for the rest of the damn month.” All eyes on you like this was some cheesy tv drama, you got up following him.

Once in the safety of his four walls you stood hands on your hips “why kookie, why you being a Jackass?” He turned to face you, anger evident. Swiftly he pulled you by your shirt “talk to me like that outside of this office space the way you did today one more time, and you’ll be begging me to fire you. Yeah?” You nodded earning a open palm slap to your cheek, “yeah? Open your slutty mouth like you did for Kang, am I understood?” “Yeah kookie.” Another slap, your cheek began to burn. “Yes Mr Jeon.” He lifted his hand making you flinch in his grip. “Lovely girl, now get out there, and leave Kang alone or else.”

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