#aragorn ptsd

[emilybeemartin]

Boromir Lives AU: Panic! At the Ballroom

Got some new soup for you.

CW! PTSD, panic attack, crowds, physical violence, blood, smoking

It's, uh, less cute soup than some of the others.

The last panel is a nod to when I was having regular panic attacks a few years ago, and the only thing that helped was lying on the floor, the colder and harder the better. At night I would lie in bed and feel like I was drowning in the blankets, until finally I'd move to the bare floor, sometimes with weight on my back, until I eventually fell asleep.

Anyway! Surprisingly this actually came from a very happy and lovely fic in which Boromir has a delightful time; in writing a crowd scene, though, I figured having spent 40+ years training to die in battle, he'd never shake the PTSD. It's okay, Aragorn can spot it coming a mile away. Hard to prep for a crushed windpipe delivered by 250 pounds of war trauma, though. Happy Thursday!

Boromir Lives: Helm's Deep

Boromir Lives: Whump-Time After Pelennor

Boromir Lives: GO TO SLEEP

Boromir Lives: Aragorn's Coronation

Boromir Lives: Faramir and Eowyn's Wedding

Boromir Lives: It's a BABY

Boromir Lives: High Uncle of the White Tower

Boromir Lives: We Didn't Have a Choice

Boromir Lives: The Haircuts

[dunadaan]

I’ve had Créa for almost 10 years and I’m thinking about how I almost never let her live until like. 2020 LOL. I spent six years killing her off bc I couldn’t conceive a happy ending for her and now I’m like nah she gets to live and be happy

[spinningalbinoturtle]

Lotr characters and their dogs (and other pets)

Frodo

Canonically not a dog person but also just has cat person vibes

He has two cats one of them is a chubby gray kitty named Luthien and she is incredibly spoiled. A birthday present from Bilbo

His other cat is a stray who hates everyone but Frodo- its super scrangly and Sam calls it Gollum and it stuck

After the Quest Frodo gets a little beagle service dog that helps him with PTSD and other medical stuff

Sam

Pre Quest had an old basset hound named Fingon. His dad said they didn’t have room for it but Sam insisted on feeding it and when he moved in with Frodo it came along.

Post quest he has a border collie named Ellie (short for Galadriel) who helps him replant the shire

He also keeps chickens at Bag End and spoils them a bit. They are just for eggs

Also has a little dairy cow for fresh milk. Her name is Bell after his mom

Merry

The Brandybucks have a pack of mastiffs and they love Merry. Frodo is terrified of them

They also have several feral maine coones that lounge around their manor and also love Merry but hate everyone else

Has a full size horse post quest which he is very proud of and scares the other hobbits. Its name is Theoden

Pippin

Lets be honest with ourselves Pippin has a lab who has the exact same personality as him and they go everywhere together. Its name is something really basic like Buddy

He also keeps turtles and has a whole menagerie for them. They’re all named after different foods

Aragorn

Aragorn has a husky/malamute that he found on his travels north. He howls back and forth with it and is convinced he can understand it. When he becomes king it sits at the foot of his throne and occasionally will randomly howl in the middle of a meeting.

Horse girl all the way. Brego is his bestie. Man takes excellent care of his horse and buys all kinds of extraneous shit for it.

Boromir

Denethor has a pack of vicious looking dogs but Boromir has a Dalmatian that loves him so much

Faramir adopts it for a while after Boromir dies but Faramir is much more of a cat person, so ultimately its adopted by Aragorn and becomes mates with his husky. The puppies go to his and Arwens kids

Legolas

This could go one of two ways-either he has a super graceful hunting dog like a greyhound or whippet or he has a little pomeranian he dresses up and treats like a baby

He has tried to domesticate the spiders with little success maybe because he’s also killed a lot of them

Gimli

Gimli is a terrier person. He has a little Scottish terrier who sits on his lap all the time when he’s working. Gimli made it a little sweater and it hates Legolas (its jealous of Legolas stealing Gimli’s attention).

He also keeps canaries and they are very well cared for and all have names and he’s the only one who can tell them apart

Eowyn

Has a massive Rottweiler who is super intimidating to everyone except Eowyn. It has bitten Grima multiple times. Around Eowyn it acts like a little puppy.

She also loves her horse as all Rohirrim do.

I could also see her as raising ferrets or chinchilas as well

Faramir

Firmly a cat person

Doesn’t mind dogs but vastly prefers cats

Has six of them and they’re all rescues. Their names are : Mithrandir, Radagast, Varda, Melian, Beren, and Pippin.

Eowyn indulges her crazy cat husband even when their house is overrun with kittens

Arwen

Also firmly a cat person

She’s fine Aragorn’s dog but that’s just cause its well trained

Usually just has one or two cats at a time. They’re a special breed from Lothlorien and they’re really beautiful. They like to sit on her lap and purr. They’re also vicious mousers.

Eomer

Has a big great dane who hangs out in Edoras. Its super sweet and dorky. Everyone loves it.

[runawaymun]

Ask me about my not-yet-written-fics from this list

thanks, @eowyn7023 also tagging: @polutrope because you sent me an ask about this a while ago and I just haven't had the spoons to respond until now, sorry! <3

Elrond in Valinor + Second Flight of the Noldor

so this stems from three possibly spicy Opinions I have about LOTR: 1) The Valar kind of suck, actually, and it was wrong of them to bring Elves to Valinor in the first place and it went directly against Eru's plan. 2) Valinor is kind of liminal and bad for you if you were born in Middle Earth 3) Elrond sailing (and staying) in Valinor is makes very little sense for him as a character, and is more about Jirt's wish fulfillment than it is good writing.

Obviously, unfortunately, due to the narrative, Elrond must sail at the end of LOTR. He needs to recuperate from the absolute havoc Vilya wreaked on his system, and he also needs to reunite with Cel and get some closure about a few things, like Celebrimbor's death, Gil-Galad's death, and his relationship with Elwing.

So Elrond sails, as he does. He reunites with Celebrian. He spends some time meeting his various family members and spends quite a lot of time with Gil-Galad and Celebrimbor. He has exactly one (1) talk with Elwing to ask her some questions and explain what became of Elros, but in my head he is not really interested in pursuing much of a relationship with her. Elwing respects that.

He and Celebrian work on healing their relationship and re-establishing intimacy.

Elrond slowly recovers from the damage Vilya did to him.

He might need to spend some time in Lorien actually. He is very good friends with Este and Nienna.

After a while though, things just don't feel right. Valinor feels very static and strange to him, and he doesn't really feel like he Fits. And that hurts because everyone is so glad to have him there and they expect that he's just as glad to be here as they are.

Also he really misses his kids, and wonders about his grandkids, and the Dunedain.

Eventually he starts connecting with more and more people who feel like they don't Fit. Mostly Noldor and the few Sindar that sailed. Many of them are still dealing with PTSD from Middle Earth and Beleriand, or with scars that refuse to heal. Many of them are just Restless. Most Vanyar do not understand this, and it's hard to talk about.

He and Cel begin work on a second Rivendell, and this keeps them both busy for a short time. He still doesn't feel Right though.

Eventually he starts experiencing like a reverse sea-longing and it gets more, and more, and more painful.

Finally, he talks it over with Celebrian. And they petition the Valar, who are not very happy to be petitioned. And then Elrond starts preparing to sail East.

Listen listen listen. Everything that Elrond has ever built, worked for, or loved is back in Middle Earth. It makes zero sense for him to be happy in Valinor. He aligns overwhelmingly with the Sindar and with the Dunedain in the books, and the Dunedain also consider him as one of them. Rivendell is there (he left it in the care of the Dunedain). Arwen and Aragorn are there. Gondor, and what is left of Elros are there. His grandchildren are there. Elladan and Elrohir are still there. The people left for him in Valinor are all people he has already mourned and found closure with.

He's not really made for Valinor anyway. He's made to watch over Middle Earth, to keep its lore and secrets, and to caretake Elros' line. He made a vow, once, and sure Aragorn and his descendants are doing just fine but he still feels half-whole without them.

And he's not the only person who doesn't feel Right in Valinor, who miss the mold and the rot and the fungi and the sheer diversity of life, and the Men!!! The humans!!! The normalcy of pain and suffering and scars and disabilities!

And so Elrond sails with Celebrian, and many of the Noldor say 'fuck it' and they go with him. They're tired and restless and have misgivings about the Valar anyway. A remnant returns to Middle Earth, and this time they go for love.

Elrond retakes his seat in Rivendell and the Dunedain rejoice that the eldest of their race, their most beloved uncle has come home. Celebrian reunites with Arwen, and meets a long line of adopted children that she never got to see, and meets Aragorn and her grandchildren.

They live through the ages, quietly doing what they have always done: living as watchers and caretakers, carefully preserving memories and lore and history.

Rivendell becomes a place that is both mythologized and startlingly real, where it is rumored that anyone who needs it will find help and sanctuary.

Many of the Noldor live in Rivendell, but some set up their own small kingdoms or simply live alongside the men and dwarves. They're finally there to guide and watch over the Secondborn, just as was intended in the Theme.

Eventually, of course, Elrond must grieve Arwen and Aragorn, but he's there for his grandchildren, and his great grandchildren, and his great grandchildren, and all of his family thereafter -- and in Arwen and Aragorn and their line, it almost feels like he is reunited with Elros again.

Elrond is there to help.

[vsnapdragon]

Why would you be loved?

My second fic is finished! Please read the warnings before reading :)

Why Would You be Loved? (7380 words) by v_snapdragon Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Éowyn/Faramir (Tolkien), Boromir & Faramir (Tolkien), Aragorn & Faramir (Tolkien) Characters: Éowyn (Tolkien), Faramir (Tolkien), Aragorn (Tolkien), Denethor II, Gandalf (Tolkien), Éomer Éadig, Imrahil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Grief/Mourning

[autistook]

DAISIES - pt 20

Merry Brandybuck x fem!hobbit!reader / soft oc

Words: 6k

Summary: Merry begs Aragorn to let him ride to the Black Gate of Mordor with all the other men, but he is forced to stay in Minas Tirith and rest. He struggles with images of your pleading eyes and your cries of terror.

Possible TW's: Descriptions of PTSD

AN: A big shoutout to this fic for inspiring how to write Merry's PTSD. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And a huge shoutout to @gracefuldisasters for helping me find the fic with their stunning art.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

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Merry’s hand was finally starting to feel slightly warmer. His feet were dangling over the edge of the bed and the aroma of the athelas-plant was filling the air, giving him the tiniest amount of relief amongst all the sorrow and frustration in his heart.

“Please,” he pleaded quietly. “I want to come with you.”

Aragorn kneeled in front of Merry and took his hands between his palms. His gaze was sympathetic and understanding, but he had no choice but to forbid Merry from marching to the Black Gate.

“Merry, you were touched by the black breath. You need to stay and heal. We cannot risk you dying in a fight. You’re in no condition to battle.”

Merry’s head hung low and tears of desperation fell on his knee. There was not much hope, but he wanted to stand together with his friends - to the bitter end.

“Strider…”

“Merry,” Aragorn said warmly and squeezed the Hobbit’s hands gently. “This is an order.”

Merry did not respond. His heart broke in his chest and his shoulders slumped. He gave Aragorn a faint nod, barely detectable.

“My Lord?” 

Aragorn turned his head and saw a man standing at the door. He was visibly a soldier, one alike to Aragorn himself - but even more so alike to Boromir.

“Faramir,” said Aragorn, still comforting Merry.

“Lady Éowyn,” said Faramir. “She requested to speak with you.”

Aragorn looked back at Merry, who was now looking at Faramir. To Merry he looked so alike to Boromir he might have mixed them up if it was not for Aragorn saying the man’s name out loud - and if it wasn’t for Boromir appearing behind Faramir, with his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Are you feeling alright?” Boromir asked, squeezing his brother’s shoulder, worry in his eyes. Merry had never seen Boromir quite so afraid and it dawned on the Hobbit just how close the brothers must have been.

“Better,” Faramir responded to Boromir, looking at Merry with newly found curiosity. When it came to halflings, he had only met Pippin before and seeing another creature so fascinating caused a weird sense of amusement in him. He smiled and Merry smiled back, although very faintly. 

Boromir looked at Merry with pity. He knew the turmoil Merry was going through as he had opened up about it to him before. Boromir had adapted to his role as a sort of a big brother to Merry, and Merry had done the same thing back, finding Boromir as a brother figure from almost the day they had met.

Merry on the other hand took note of Boromir's posture, which was less sharp and sturdy than usual. His father had been driven to madness. Denethor had sent Faramir to Osgiliath despite Boromir's pleas, which caused Faramir to nearly pass, which in turn had turned Boromir against his own father. It was all too much for the Steward of Gondor, who then fell into such a dark place in the depths of his soul that he had burned himself on a pyre.

Aragorn gave Merry’s hands one last squeeze and stood up, his stance more kingly than when they had first met. He quietly made his way out of the room with the rest, leaving Merry sitting alone, drowning in his sorrow.

He thought of how pale you had looked and how red his hands were when he held you on the streets of Minas Tirith. He could not stop thinking about the pleading, terrified look in your eyes, and the feeling of your warm blood against his hands kept haunting him, whether he was awake or in a deep sleep - not that he could sleep that well; all of his nights were restless.

Merry thought of Frodo, Sam and Pippin; oh, how humiliating it felt to be left behind, to lay on a bed when everyone else was heading for battle.

And so he stood up shakily and ran to the gates of Minas Tirith and to the Pelennor Fields, where the army was gathering, preparing for their journey.

Merry searched for Aragorn, Legolas, anyone he could find and pleaded.

“Please, let me ride with you,” he begged, but it was no use; he was forbidden from riding. Forbidden from fighting.

His farewell to Pippin hurt the most. Even though Pippin had grown stronger and in height, he feared for him. Pippin had become more courageous and mature, but Merry still felt responsible for him and was horrified when he had heard Pippin was to ride to the Black Gate along with everyone else. His heart felt hollow. The only emotions left seemed to be fear and loneliness; he was alone.

Sure, Lady Éowyn and Faramir were there in the Houses of Healing, but watching their blooming chemistry after knowing each other for only a day or two tugged at his heartstrings. Humiliation and loneliness were nothing compared to the envy he felt; oh, to be walking around with someone he loved and holding their hand.

Your cries were ringing in his ear and he closed his eyes, trying to force the dreadful images out of his head, but it seemed that the harder he tried, the more the memories flooded in.

His heart hurt when he recalled Pippin's cries and pleas for help. His stomach churned when he thought of the horror in Gandalf's eyes when he arrived. The corners of his eyes got wet when an image of Gandalf carrying your limp body entered his mind again. 

Merry sat down on the nearest bench he could find. Despite the calming surroundings, he felt worse and worse. He felt like his heart was going to rip out of his chest and he had lost most of his appetite - though not all of it; he was a Hobbit, after all. 

Sometimes he would suddenly smell iron and smoke, although those things were nowhere near. This was one of those moments.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers and shut his eyes tight. Even when the smoke in the air was not real, he felt like he was breathing some in and like his lungs would soon give up and turn into dust. 

He smelled iron once again. His throat tightened and his stomach twisted. His nausea was almost hourly and at times he was seen by others, throwing up in the Houses of Healing. Pippin found him sobbing several times and offered all the comfort he could, despite the pain in his own heart.

Merry gagged. The smell of iron would not go away and he began to feel faint. His eyes were closed and yet the room felt like it was spinning out of control.

A delicate hand touched his shoulder.

“Merry?”

Merry opened his tear filled eyes and looked up at Éowyn, the look on his face hopeless.

“Are you feeling unwell?” she asked and Merry nodded, holding his belly quickly and trying to suffocate another gag. Éowyn kneeled and took his hands in hers. “Merry, how does the ground beneath your feet feel?”

“What?” Merry asked, confused.

“Describe it to me,” Éowyn encouraged in a gentle tone.

Merry moved his toes around a bit and took a moment to observe the sensations.

“Cold,” he responded. “It feels cold.”

“Does it feel even?” she asked.

“No, no it does not. It feels a little bumpy, yet smooth on the surface.”

“How do my hands feel?” she asked, allowing Merry to gently caress them.

Merry moved his fingers delicately over Éowyn's hands, taking in shaky, deep breaths.

“Soft,” he responded. “Like silk, almost.”

Éowyn smiled a little and squeezed his hands again.

“How does the bench under you feel?” she asked, encouraging Merry to focus on his senses some more.

Merry shifted in his seat slightly, his brows furrowing and head tilting to the left as he settled down again, focusing on the feeling of the cold marble. The sight of Merry moving on the bench so intensely made Éowyn amused, but she did not let it show.

“A little uncomfortable, if I'm being completely honest,” he said, his voice much more steady. “Cold, even through my trousers and it hurts my buttocks.”

Éowyn could not help but chuckle a little.

“Do you think you can open your eyes for me?” she asked carefully. 

As Merry opened his eyes, the lady greeted him with a warm smile.

“Do you feel better?” she asked and to his amazement Merry realized that the smell of iron was no longer lingering in the air, and it was now replaced by the smell of athelas.

“Yes, I do, My Lady.”

“Good,” she said. She got up and sat down next to Merry, still holding his hands. “Do not drown yourself in sorrow and fear. It is not healthy to let it consume you.”

“Fear and grief seem to be the only things left in my heart, Lady Éowyn,” Merry said grimly.

“I already know that not to be true,” she said, her smile full of kindness and her gaze reassuring.

“Whatever do you mean?” he asked.

“I can see that there's still laughter and playfulness in your heart. I don't think your courageous and kind heart has given up hope just yet.”

Merry smiled very faintly. 

“I feel… Éowyn, I keep seeing her bleed. In my head. I hear her hopelessness and I smell her blood all the time.”

Merry's voice began to shake and tears filled his eyes. His lips trembled and his fingers twitched as he began to fiddle with the hem of his shirt, hoping for the nausea to stay away.

“Merry,” Éowyn said with pity and compassion, her own eyes watering.

“I'm… I'm afraid.”

Éowyn put her hands on Merry's again, helping him to steady his trembling hands.

“Merry, it is no use to dwell in those thoughts. I think you should go see her and try to get rid of those current images in your head with how she looks now. Peaceful. Resting.”

“I go see her many times a day,” Merry confessed. “The help is only temporary. Seeing her so pale and still… It causes my heart to ache in a different way.”

“I think painting a picture of her like that in your mind is much better than seeing her fall apart over and over again.”

Merry knew she was right. He had to see you. It tended to help him, at least for a little while.

“Yes, yes,” he said with a faint nod. “You're right. I just…”

“I know you do,” Éowyn said quietly. Merry tried to smile but the corner of his lip simply twitched a little.

He stood up and straightened his shirt. He bowed kindly to Éowyn and started walking along the long hallway. His feet pattered on the cold floor and his heart felt uncomfortably heavy in his chest.

He stared at the door and took a moment to take some deep breaths. He looked at the carvings on the wooden arch of the door, wondering what their meaning was and how beautiful they looked. In some way they gave him comfort and the courage to step in the room once again.

The door creaked ever so slightly as Merry pushed the door. The room was rather dark, but through the windows some light came through; a gentle reminder to not give up hope.

Merry swallowed and walked slowly to the side of your bed. 

Your face was pale and you lay still, as still as you had been for a few days at that point. The faint light shining from the window was giving your face a soft glow and highlighting the highest points of your face; cheeks, nose, lips - all the things that Merry loved to look at the most. 

Merry for a short moment put his hand on your cheek and held back tears as he felt the coldness of your skin. He pulled a chair underneath him and delicately put two of his fingers on the pulse point of your wrist. He needed to know if your heart was beating.

Merry let out a sharp sniffle and exhaled from relief, yet still he was afraid. He looked at your chest moving up and down, reassuring himself that you were still breathing and had not left him.

He intertwined his fingers with yours and swallowed his tears. 

“So,” he said shakily and cleared his throat. “Have you considered waking up yet?” 

In a normal situation that pinch of humor would have made you giggle and Merry smile with pride, but there was no answer and he frowned. He thought that maybe by trying to act like his carefree self you just might wake up - so he continued.

“You know, it's quite rude what you're doing. Just lying there lazily when everyone is out there fighting. Well, almost everyone. Has… has no one ever told you that ignoring others speaking to you as often as I do is quite rude?”

He looked at your face and lips, expecting them to move and hoping for a sarcastic comment back; anything back, really. But there was nothing. Merry sighed and hung his head low.

“Just please, wake up,” he whispered, closing his eyes and holding your hand. 

He scooted as close to the bed as he could and laid his free hand on your belly, not quite around you, but close enough for him. He laid his head on the bed and looked at you, his cheek squished against the mattress. He looked at your peaceful face, afraid to close his eyes as he feared he might wake up with you gone. 

Every time he saw you there he began to memorize your features and this time was no different. Merry spent half an hour staring at your face, taking in every little detail. As he did that, he thought about how much he missed the subtle movements of your expressive ears. 

Eventually his eyes began to flutter shut and no matter how he tried to fight it, his head and upper body molded against the mattress and his grip on you loosened as sleep took him over.

The first dream he had was a memory from ages ago. A memory of you and him sitting alone in an empty Green Dragon, spilling secrets and sharing stories you had never told anyone before. Your smile made the empty room radiant and even in his sleep Merry thought of himself as a fool; how had he not realized his feelings for you then?

He dreamt about the time Pippin blew some pipe-weed smoke into your lungs from a rather close proximity and the weird feeling it gave him - jealousy it was, of course, but he had not realized it back then.

He dreamt of the note you had written for him; the note that he unfortunately lost during the journey.

His mind was spinning in his sleep. Many more memories flooded his mind, until he had the same dream he had had every night since you got dangerously wounded.

He dreamt of the evening of your birthday party and the look on your face when you were presented with the daisy brooch. A wide smile was on his face in the dream like it had been back then, and the way your body moved on the dance floor as you were twirled around was mesmerizing, even more so in the dream. 

He stepped close to you and put his hands on your lower back, the lights of Brandy Hall dim around you two, like there was no one else.

“I don't know how you do it,” you said with a slight echo in your voice - that's how Merry knew it was a dream, a repeat of a memory.

“Do what?”

“That. You always find a way to cheer me up. I feel guilty and sad over the stupidest of things sometimes, yet you always come through for me."

“You make it sound like it's a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Merry! You make me feel special and important.”

“You are special and important.”

“Merry?”

“Yes?”

“You need to wake up,” you said kindly.

“I… I don't want to,” he stammered. “I need this.”

“But I'm hungry.”

His face twitched. What?

“What?” he asked. “What did you say?”

“I'm hungry,” you repeated.

He blinked slowly and shook his head, confused. You had never said it before when he dreamt of this night. You squeezed his hand gently as the two of you danced.

“Merry?”

Merry's eyes fluttered open slowly. The morning had come and the bedsheet felt warm under his cheek. His hand was resting on your belly and there was a small amount of drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. Merry lifted his hand to wipe it off - but he wasn't able to. Something held his wrist nearly completely still, although delicately.

He turned his head, feeling dazed and groggy. His vision was slightly foggy but when it got clearer, there was no doubt; you were holding his wrist, not allowing him to move away and shaking him gently. 

“Wake up,” you whispered raspily and smiled softly. 

Merry’s eyes widened so much he almost could have been thought to be an owl. His stomach fluttered and he sprung on his feet, and in an instant he was holding your hand. He stood there staring at you, his eyes sparkling like the surface of the Brandywine river on a sunny day. Never had you seen someone so relieved - or Merry smile so wide.

Before you had time to react, he was peppering your face with affectionate and firm kisses, his palms on your cheeks and tears of joy rushing down his face. Merry kept thanking out loud - no one specific, just saying ‘thank you’ repeatedly - and you giggled softly at the sensation of him planting kisses against your skin.

“How long have I been asleep?” you asked through your giggles.

“Too long,” Merry responded, sniffling and kissing you around your cheeks and jawline. He put his lips softly on the tip of your nose and then rested his forehead against yours. “Tell me I'm not dreaming.”

“You're not dreaming,” you confirmed softly. Merry let out a relieved chuckle, his eyes closed as he rested his head against your forehead. “Neither am I, but I am starving.”

“Yes, of course!” Merry said, clearing his throat and standing up straight, wiping his tears. “You haven't eaten in several days.”

“I could eat an oliphaunt.”

Merry let out a loud laugh. Of course your comment was not very funny, but Merry was so overwhelmed he found it the funniest sentence he had heard in his entire life.

“You were muttering in your sleep about how you didn't want to wake up. Here I have been starving, desperate for you to be awake and help me get some treats,” you said, overly dramatic. “And you just wanted to keep sleeping!”

“Ah, immediately turning into a very demanding lady when waking up from her beauty sleep,” Merry joked. His sense of humor had come back as if a lightning of joy had struck him and made him feel like himself again.

“Oh, please. I think you were the one having a beauty sleep, drool and all!”

Merry chuckled. Without a second thought he cupped your face with his hands again and put his lips on yours. Not wanting to waste any time, you responded to the kiss, moving your lips against his softly. Your head was spinning and so was his; you had not kissed since Edoras and it was all still very new. 

Merry broke the kiss first, searching for your gaze.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, concern and pure love etched upon his face.

It took you a moment to come up with an answer. Your stomach was stinging but not too painfully, and your body was aching from laying down on the bed for so long. You felt relieved having Merry so close, but on the other hand you were worried about what was happening outside the Houses of Healing. 

“I feel alright, I suppose,” you finally responded, playing gently with Merry's stray curls by his ears. “Just starving and a little achy.”

“How achy?” he asked, his gaze affectionate and his thumb caressing your cheekbone.

“A little. It's mostly my limbs.”

Merry nodded. You could see his gaze drift to your lips every now and then. You smirked lightly but decided not to say anything about it. 

“How about your stomach? You were wounded badly.”

“It stings just a little,” you said. A thought occurred. “How did I survive? I was certain I would bleed to death.”

Merry swallowed and turned his gaze away, visibly uncomfortable with the subject.

“We all thought you would, but Gandalf managed to control the bleeding long enough for the king to heal your wound.”

“The… king?” you said, blinking rapidly.

“Oh, yes. Aragorn. Apparently he is quite a big deal.”

“How did he… oh, well, it doesn't matter. Can I speak with him? I would like to thank him.”

Merry went quiet. He looked at you, then away, trying to figure out how to tell you.

“Merry?” you called, now deeply worried. “Has something happened to him?”

“No. At least not yet.”

“What do you mean?”

And so Merry explained it all. He told you how everyone had left for one final battle to distract Sauron and give your brother and Sam a chance to sneak through Mordor and destroy the One Ring. He explained how he was forbidden from riding with them and how miserable it made him - although he also mentioned many times how much better he felt now that you were back with him. As much as it stung Merry, it broke your heart a little more. 

You wanted to be there for Frodo. To protect him. Sure, he was one of Merry's best friends; but he was your brother. Not by blood, but by all other means Frodo was your family.

And oh, how much you feared for Pippin. No matter how much he had changed, he was still the same old Pippin in many ways and there was a part of you screaming to run after him and keep him safe. 

“Do you think they will return?” you asked. 

Merry did not answer.

Merry put down a whole tankard of water on your bedside table and brought you all the bread he could find. His arms were full of baguettes and he laid them on your lap as you were laying on the bed, under the warmth of a blanket.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, mouth full of bread and crumbs falling down on your chest. Merry smiled.

“This is quite a familiar sight,” he grinned.

“What?” you asked, doe-eyed and puzzled.

“The crumbs all over you and your chubby cheeks. It's your signature look for whenever we have eating contests.”

“Oh!” you giggled, blushing slightly. “Is it really?”

Merry nodded, his expression affectionate.

After you finished devouring almost all of the baguettes Merry had brought, he sat down on the edge of the bed, gently holding your shoulder as you laid on your back.

“How is the wound healing?” he asked.

“I do not know,” you responded. You swallowed and blushed, very visibly.

“Are you alright?” Merry asked as he noticed the flush of pink on your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” you said, immediately piquing Merry’s interest. “But could you take a look? I'm not very comfortable looking at such things.”

Merry blushed. Of course he had no problem with looking after you, but the action felt quite intimate, considering he would be lifting up parts of your dress, all the way to your belly and exposing your skin to his gaze.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please. I need to know if it still looks bad. I'm already tired of being in bed and I want to know if I can move around.”

Merry nodded.

He pulled the lightweight blanket to your ankles. His hands gently gripped the hem of your dress and he began pulling it up. Merry’s eyes followed the parts that were being revealed and he found himself admiring the smoothness of your skin. As he lifted the dress past your thighs, he took note of the stretch marks on them and thought to himself: ‘Those are the most beautiful marks I have ever seen.’

He blushed deep red as he lifted the dress past your hips. In his mind there were no proper words to describe your beauty. He simply found you so, so beautiful. When he reached the wound he let go of the white dress and exhaled, not having realized he was holding his breath.

He gently ran his fingers across the scar, examining the wound with a focused look on his face.

“Does this hurt?” he asked, gently pressing around the wound with his fingers. You shook your head.

“No. It feels alright.”

Merry pressed on and around the wound, only a few spots stinging slightly when touched.

“It's healing well,” he finally said and put his palm on the wound. “Kings really do seem to heal even the deadliest wounds. I think it's safe to say you can walk around - with me, preferably.”

You chuckled and he joined. His hand still rested on your skin as you gazed into his eyes. The green and blue eyes gazed back at you, something special in them - something deeper than affection.

His touch on your skin sent a wave of warmth through your body and heart. Even though it was an intimate gesture, it was not sexual. It was pure and innocent, a moment of deep, mutual affection. A moment of realization that between you was the kind of love you both had thought existed only in fairytales. 

Neither of you were ready to say it out loud, but the unspoken words were clear to both.

Almost every waking moment you spent together. Every now and then Merry would leave you alone with the healers to let them tend to your wound and you did the same for him, for his arm still needed some healing.

On one day you barely spoke to Merry; he was spending time with Faramir, exchanging stories about Boromir and Éowyn, while you were spending your day with who you felt like had become your big sister.

“So, Faramir, huh?” you smirked and Éowyn sighed. Your friendly jab did not land as well as it normally would; her heart seemed troubled. “Éowyn?”

“Hm?” she responded, clearly feeling blue.

“What’s wrong?” you asked. Éowyn shrugged.

She explained her conflicted emotions. Yes, she found Faramir rather fascinating and undeniably handsome, but her heart was full of sorrow from Lord Aragorn not reciprocating her feelings. You talked to Éowyn about her beauty, bravery and strength in length and told her how much happiness she deserved.

And it seemed to have worked; they kept close to each other, more so than before. Yes, they had held hands before, but suddenly it was different.

You climbed up a small step and rested your arms on the white marble edge. The sky was still dark and the rumbling sounds of Mordor could be heard all the way to Minas Tirith. The aftermath of the battle where you were wounded was still visible when looking down the walls of Minas Tirith and to the Pelennor fields. Collapsed Mûmakil here and there, some corpses trapped underneath them and a lot of rubble. Most of the deceased had been taken away from the field and many of them had already been buried before the people marched to the Black Gate.

Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder; a familiar, warm and comforting touch. You turned your head to your left and saw Merry had come to stand next to you and look down at the city, the field and the shadow over Gondor. When you looked down you saw Merry was not standing on a step like you were; he no longer had to because of how much height he had gained from the ent-draught in the Fangorn Forest.

“Do you think Frodo ever made it through Mordor?” you asked, now staring towards the direction of the borders of Mordor.

“The shadow still lies upon us, but there is a chance he and Sam have made it through Mordor, even though the chances are very little,” Merry responded. You frowned and began fidgeting with your fingers. Merry took notice of this and took your hand in his. Hiis fingers intertwined with yours, making you instantly feel at home.

“It’s been days since everyone left. Do you think we have lost?”

“Well, aren’t you optimistic!” Merry said with a faint smirk and nudged your side, trying to cheer you up through his own worries. Normally it would have made you at least smile a little, but you were concerned for not only your friends and brother, but for all of Middle-Earth. Merry sighed, let go of your hand and instead wrapped his arm around your shoulder and squeezed you tightly. “Don’t give up hope.”

“Have you not given up hope?”

Merry smiled.

“I had, but then you woke up.”

And then you smiled back at him, wide and fondly, your eyes glimmering with admiration and gratitude.

When you looked right, you could see Faramir and Éowyn holding hands not too far away. Faramir kissed her brow and your heart filled with warmth seeing the woman you cared so much about receive such care and adoration.

A gust of wind blew and threw your curls in your face, making Merry chuckle out of sheer amusement. His chuckle died soon, as the white walls of Minas Tirith began turning into a glittering shade of light gold as the darkness set aside and the sun came out. You stared in awe as the river Anduin began to shine blue and silver, and Merry stared at you, admiring the way the sunshine lit up your face.

“The shadow. It has been lifted!” yelled someone down below and many men cheered.

You turned to look at Merry, catching him already staring at you. His eyes were full of uncertainty for what the sun coming out meant, but they were also very clearly full of love and admiration for you and the way you looked in that very moment.

Before the sun set down, an Eagle brought news beyond hope. The Ring had been destroyed and Sauron had fallen.

Merry looked at you with glee and there were stars in your eyes. He scooped you up in his arms and spun you around, a loud giggle of joy erupting from your lungs and your heart sang with joy. Your feet were off the ground for quite some time as Merry kept you in his arms and poured all of his relief and happiness out all at once.

“Did you hear that? Frodo and Sam succeeded!” Merry cried and laughed, his eyes misty. You nodded and nuzzled your face against his neck. Then he finally put you back on the ground. He caressed your jawline with his thumb and leaned in, his lips landing on yours in a moment of passion. 

His kiss was intense and full of devotion. You responded to his kiss eagerly, smiling on his lips and soft giggles leaving your mouth. He smirked as he felt your giggles on his lips and he kept kissing you, his hands moving your waist and yours to the nape of his neck. His lips tasted like happiness and his scent filled your nostrils, making your heart swell and stomach fill with butterflies.

When he broke the kiss he was once again laughing; not at you or the kiss, but out of sheer relaxation. Frodo had succeeded. The Ring had been destroyed.

In the following days Merry was summoned to the field of Cormallen and you followed his steps. It took a day or two to make it there, but when you got there, another wave of relief hit you at once. Frodo was alive. Sam was alive. Pippin was alive. All of them wounded, exhausted and unconscious, but all of them alive nonetheless.

Pippin had taken down a large troll in the battle and had nearly passed, which made you feel rather panicked. Merry had to calm you down despite his own growing worry for his best friend. You both were told he was going to be alright, but despite the reassurance, it was not easy to look at him lying there, unconscious and hurt.

Frodo and Sam were deep asleep, nor would they wake up anytime soon. Frodo was missing a finger and both of them had lost so much weight, they were almost unrecognizable. You spent hours holding your brother’s hand and Merry spent hours holding yours.

Soon enough Pippin was awake and the two of you kept him company more than enough. You learned that Gimli was the one who had saved Pippin from his doom and in a whirlwind of emotions, you began planting kisses on the dwarf’s scruffy cheeks. Merry and Pippin laughed as Gimli blushed and began mumbling incoherently. More than anyone else, Legolas found this reaction the most amusing thing he had seen in weeks.

You spent a lot of time helping the wounded and helped arrange a celebration for the Ring bearers. Aragorn was taking his time healing the wounded as well and spending a lot of his hours on his kingly duties.

You sat on some rough sand away from the tents and lifted your knees up. You rested your arms on them and admired the way the sun shined, and the way a beautiful spring weather was already making its way to the people of Gondor.

Merry sat next to you.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, putting his hand on your arm, softly stroking it. This time the smile you gave him was slightly faint.

“I’m alright,” you responded, but Merry noticed that your tone was just a little off.

“Are you?”

“Yes, but I’m just thinking.”

“Thinking?” he said, puzzled.

“Yes, thinking,” you said. “Thinking about how wrong this all could have gone. We could have died. Frodo could have died. Pippin could have died. Sam-”

“Hey, hey,” Merry said, now putting his other hand on your back, moving it in comforting circles. “All of those close to us survived. Your friends survived. My friends survived. Frodo survived. I survived. You survived.”

Merry emphasized the last part; you had indeed almost died, but now it hit you just how lucky all of you were.

“We survived,” you said quietly.

“We survived,” he repeated, his hand still moving on your back.

He looked into your eyes and you into his. It seemed like you could drown in his eyes, so beautiful and comforting they were. The way he looked at you was new to you, and no one had ever gazed upon you with such appreciation. If it was possible, there would have been hearts in his eyes. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as it felt like he was looking straight into your soul. Not in a bad way, but in a way that seemed like he had known you many lifetimes and knew all there was to know about you.

“I love you,” he suddenly said.

Your ears perked up and your heart skipped a beat. You had known for a while now that you loved him deeply and were aware he had to feel the same way, but never had you heard those words from his mouth before. 

When you were feeling happy, your ears tended to flutter. When you were sad, your ears were droopy. This time when Merry looked at you after his confession, he could see that your ears were moving more rapidly than he had ever seen them move and how they were practically vibrating with happiness. You felt euphoric.

“I love you too.”

On his face formed a smile full of love and devotion, and soon enough his lips were once again moving meaningfully against yours. His kisses felt right and nothing like you had ever felt with anyone else before. 

It felt like everything in the world was right again. Of course, it was not, but in that moment you finally knew what it really felt like to be in love.

---

@chatteringfox @shiinata-library @ahobbitsjourney23 @mayo-advance @datglutengoblin @mournthewicked @channiesbedbug @nicksworld0715

[bralesscommie]

My Tolkien Headcanons

Silmarillion and Lotr characters

Elrond

Has PTSD, possibly c-PTSD from the Third Kinslaying, losing his parents and growing up with the people who took away his home

Has sensory issues, mostly a hard time with crowds and loud noises (also for PTSD reasons), but also really hates some textures

Pretty bad migraines from foresight and tension headaches from anxiety to the point where a couple of times a month he can't work

Is a workaholic

Is bisexual

He/they in an elf way

Isn't white, it's kind of hard to tell his exact race with his very mixed genetics

Maglor

Has anxiety from growing up in the chaotic house of Fëanor

Is depressed

Uses music as escapism

He/him but doesn't mind he/they

Is pretty fluid sexuality wise

Maedhros

C-PTSD from being chained to a mountain and also like everything else that's ever happened to him

Has depression

Chronic pain in his back and shoulder, as well as phantom pain in his amputated arm

Has some kind of personality disorder

Is gay

He/him

Eärendil

Has anxiety from and is traumatized by the escape from Gondolin

Was not ready to be a dad

Straight

He/him

Is definitely not white

Elwing

Is traumatized by the Second Kinslaying, possibly PTSD

Bi-curious

She/her, has thought about adding a they to her pronouns

Eowyn

Has anxiety and depression

Has anger issues but is learning healthy coping mechanisms

Has trauma from SA, and does her best to spread awareness

Enjoys being butch in everyday life, but will dress up feminine once in a while

Is bisexual

She/her

Is happy being poly, but doesn't mind being in monogamous relationships

Arwen

Had really bad anxiety after Celebrían sailed, but is doing much better, though she still has occasional tension headaches

Sensory issues like her dad

Also similarly to her dad, she is mixed

Sapphic, but is open to very few men

She/her

Aragorn

Pretty mentally stable, at least considering everyone else around him

Brown

Is bisexual with a preference for women

Does not care about his pronouns, but is cis in some weird way?

Legolas

Was born in an era with very few elflings, and as an only child hasn't had the opportunity to socialize at all

Rich whiteboy (gender neutral) privilege that they don't entirely recognize

Probably not neurotipical

Fluid sexuality, doesn't really like labels, but if asked persistantly will say he has a preference for men

He/she sometimes they

Bilbo

Has ADHD and anxiety

Struggles with ring addiction

Is acespec and gay

They/he

Sam

AuDHD

Has low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, and anxiety from his childhood with the Gaffer

Is brown

Pansexual

Officially he/they but prefers they/them

Frodo

Is autistic

Has chronic pain post quest

Has chronic fatigue post quest

Possibly transmasc, he/they or he/him

Gay

If you would like to see other characters, or more on some characters, my ask box is always open

[vamp-ress]

Fic Rec: LOTR

Title: A Cure for Dreaming Author: TotallyAnon Summary: Aragorn is having trouble falling asleep and suffers from nightmares when he does; Legolas searches for a solution, with a little help from their friends. Loose sequel to 'Chokehold.' Fandom: Lord of the Rings Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas

This was so sweet! It started out serious enough: Aragorn is suffering from PTSD and has trouble sleeping. His favourite elf writes to all their friends for advice how to best help him find a good night's rest. This was lighthearted and fun and humorous and whenever I think of Aragorn now I think of him in bedsocks and with a stuff toy horse in one arm. I can't help it ...

Extra cookie points for bottom!Aragorn, because he so rarely gets a chance to bottom, poor lad.

[chronostachyon]

As someone who's not a professional therapist but has had to develop a deep understanding of psychology in order to figure out my own issues, I kind of wish I could sit down with J. R. R. Tolkien about how much of himself he poured into Eä, and how guilty he felt about having the hubris to write down his own little imitation of what he imagined the Christian God's forging of reality must have been like. To put words in Eru Ilúvatar's mouth, when Eru Ilúvatar is very much a likeness of Tolkien's own God.

On the surface you can easily see that he identifies quite a bit with Gandalf, Aragorn, and especially and most openly Beren. But if you read between the lines -- of the story of the Ainulindalë, with Melkor's arrogant dissonance, and of the forging of the dwarves by Aulë, whose actions clearly meant to be compared and contrasted with Melkor's -- I think the beings that Tolkien identified with deep down were Melkor and the Maiar of Aulë who defected to him (especially Sauron and Saruman). He saw himself as harboring a piece of Satan within himself, and could not forgive himself for it, and therefore could not see a path of redemption and forgiveness for them.

I don't think it's a shock to say that I see Tolkien as (a) being autistic, in that noticeable way that makes one feel like a social outcast for liking weird things and being upset that so many ordinary things "don't make sense", and (b) that he suffered from severe PTSD, which may well have preceded his time in the WWI trenches based on the depth of his self-loathing.

Aulë was Tolkien's idea of a "good autist": creative, excited about the possibilities of complex things built from simple ones, but humble and subservient to his own Creator. Melkor was a "bad autist": creative, but wants to be in control so everything can meet his personal definition of order, jealous of God for having abilities that he does not but lacking the humility to admit it and therefore refusing subservience to the inherently superior being, as the "natural order" dictates.

I think, if you plopped me down in Hobbiton a few weeks before Bilbo's 111th birthday, I could actually talk Sauron into redemption and the War of the Ring could be entirely avoided. Part of that is my own PTSD fawning response at work, I'm sure, as I'm always on the lookout for how to "fix" fictional bullies, but I see something in how Saruman looks at Sauron, and how Sauron looks at Melkor, and how Melkor looks at Eru, that I could call out and make explicit and force Sauron to confront about himself. I think I understand Sauron's will well enough that I could sit down with the Ring and have a conversation with it, maybe to one day reunite it with Sauron so he could be made whole again.

I see this in Sauron because I see it in Tolkien because I see it in myself: the thing I find hateful about Eä is that I hate all imbalances of power. They are inherently unfair. Melkor, Sauron, and Saruman each sought to wrest power from a tyrant, but thought only of having that power for themselves, rather than seeing the symmetry of the situation and realizing that power over others is inherently evil.

Tolkien could never openly admit this, perhaps not even to himself, because it's pretty explicitly blasphemous. It implies that the standard Catholic theodicy of Free Will is hollow; that God was evil all along and that the serpent in Eden spoke the truth, and that God was never anything more than a petty tyrant undeserving of worship.

But there's also something Tolkien's faith kind of got a little bit right: redemption. The sin of Saruman and Sauron and Melkor and Eru is the sin of the Christian God, but sin is not a permanent taint so much as it's the harm we do to others, and if we stop hurting others and start considering their well-being in our actions -- especially their autonomy and self-determination -- then that sin will fade from the world with time and patience.

In the end, Tolkien wasn't wrong about preferring Aulë over Melkor for his humility, but he was wrong about the purpose of humility and why it's a virtue. Humility isn't servility or obedience; it's acknowledgement that one does not and can not understand everything that is. Humility is a virtue because each and every living being is the only expert in the world about that particular being's actual lived experiences, no matter how much broader your experiences may be than theirs. The real fantasy of Christianity is the fantasy that God knows more about your life and how you feel about it than you do, which is a lot less lonely and scary than the truth: you are the only person in the world who can make your choices for you.

[bluecatwriter]

Top 5 LOTR characters?

NOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOOOOOOSE ;D ;D ;D

But seriously, this is a good one, because it made me really sit down and think about it. (Also note that these thoughts are based just on the book, since I haven't seen the movies.) Upon reflection, I would say...

Samwise Gamgee. I actually didn't have to think about this one, because he's my forever fave. He's my favorite guy. I have built a huge part of my personality on my admiration for him. His loyalty, his straightforward thinking, his ability to think on his feet, his down-to-earth-ness, his cooking abilities? The "he was a cheerful hobbit, and did not need hope, as long as despair could be postponed"? BEST GUY EVER. I love him so much.

Frodo Baggins. Gosh, where do I even start! I didn't pay much attention to Frodo when I was a kid, and then when I read this book in my early 20s after having my first real bout with depression, I was suddenly like, "Oh. Oh. I get you now." He's doomed. He's trying no matter what. He's just a little guy and he can't do this alone but by golly he tries anyway. I have a hard time even talking about him because I'm just *keysmash* *gently holds*. He is so important to me.

Aragorn/Strider. He's noble and gentle and kind and strong and crush-worthy, but I also love that he's a bit rascally, and sarcastic, and irritable. He's a wifeguy and also the king and trying to protect the hobbits and a healer and a guide and he has PTSD and he doubts himself so much. Love this guy.

Boromir. When I was a teenager, one of my friends said they were glad Boromir died, and I nearly punched them out over it. He is. GAH. Where do I start. He is fighting a hopeless battle against an impossibly strong enemy, and travels months all by himself (losing his horse in the process, as I recall) to seek wisdom, and spends most of his time in the book protecting, clearing the way for others, serving as a human shield against the elements, and bringing up very valid reasons why using the Ring might be a good idea, and people still just remember him as the guy who tried to take the Ring by force. He was a good man, and the point is that he was a good man. I could go on and on about this. Anyway his death scene always, always, always makes me cry.

Goldberry. This may be an unexpected choice, but she's gotta be in my top five because she is literally #goals. She and Tom Bombadil are like, "Wow, the Ring stuff sounds pretty bad. Not my circus, not my monkeys. BUT! We will make sure you are well-rested and well-fed before going on your journey" and that is honestly everything I aspire to be in life.

(Ask game here)

[emilybeemartin]

Boromir Lives AU: We Didn't Have a Choice

Alternate title is They're All Just Kids With PTSD, Your Honor

This (ridiculously long? omg why so long, I did not mean for it to be this long) comic is a good example of how my plotlines usually develop---I'll write what I think is a self-contained story and then realize there are whole new narratives beyond it. This is how my first novel, Woodwalker, became a trilogy---I was writing it as a standalone novel until about the last three or four chapters, when I realized I'd kicked off a whole new series of political events. For this AU, I was thinking about how it would feel for Elboron to grow up in the long shadow of his parents, and idolizing his uncle(s) while also wondering how he'd ever measure up. For Boromir, I think he'd be so fulfilled to see his nephew get to come of age in a gentler world that he and his brother and all the others didn't get. Though if he had a future as anything other than a soldier I'm pretty sure it would be as a TikTok star showing us how to create a perfect ballerina bun. Show us your products, Boromir, dang.

This comic also reminded me that I clearly have a distinct set of author tropes because this has STRONG Veran vibes (Sunshield, Floodpath), with a young character feeling overwhelmed with the legacies of his parents. This is a bit of an opposite arc, though--- Veran wants to follow in his mother's footsteps but isn't allowed to, and so gravitates toward diplomacy, while Elboron feels pressured to take up soldiering like his namesake but would rather study language. Come to think of it, the manuscript I turned into my agent a few weeks ago also has some of these themes, which either means I need to stop writing quest follow-ups or start a Protagonists With Heroes For Parents support group.

--------------

Boromir Lives: Helm's Deep

Boromir Lives: Whump-Time After Pelennor

Boromir Lives: GO TO SLEEP

Boromir Lives: Aragorn's Coronation

Boromir Lives: Faramir and Eowyn's Wedding

Boromir Lives: It's a BABY

Boromir Lives: High Uncle of the White Tower

Boromir Lives: The Haircuts

[briar-ffxiv]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @miqojak

This isn't in any particular order and I honestly had to think really hard of fandoms because I don't tend to be a 'loud' fan about the things. I just kind of enjoy taking in the movies/books/whatever and definitely have my favorites.

So long story short, I had to eyeball my Steam, think about my favorite games, and some of my favorite books that are actually fandoms and not stand-alone. Also, because I can't ever pick just one, I did include an honorable mention (or two) in each of the fandoms. And I will try not to gush too much about each character.

Tagging (so you don't have to scroll all the way down): @actualanxiousswampwitch @ainyan @calico-heart @seasaltandcopper @ythealleycat @airis-ray @valdiis @avashnea @starrysnowdrop @lost-harts @mimble-sparklepudding @pinxli

1. Haurchefant Greystone, Final Fantasy 14 - Probably no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I've always had a soft spot for Haurchefant. He was one of the first characters in the game who really felt like a friend to my character in a 'pure' sort of way and who never asked the Warrior to do anything he wouldn't do. He was brave, honest, loyal, and full of heart despite a very difficult childhood and upbringing. And he died protecting someone he cared about. Whether or not he's considered romantic about the person's particular Warrior, he was always their friend and someone who supported them when few would.

Honorable Mentions from FFXVI: Thancred Water, Emet-Selch, Tataru, Estinien, and probably a bunch of others. Lots of good characters!

2. Kaladin Stormblessed, Stormlight Archives - Love or hate Brandon Sanderson, it has to be admitted, that he puts out a lot of books that are interesting and full of diverse characters and worlds. One of my personal favorites is definitely Kaladin from the Stormlight Archives. Kaladin is someone who battles openly with depression and PTSD (like actually acknowledged and mentioned in the story) but is also kind, caring, determined, brave and does his best. He's flawed, moody, and damaged, but also battles to help both himself and others. He is one of the few people who is an advocate for veterans like him to get proper, kind care in the stories as well, which is a rarity in fantasy novels.

Honorable Mentions from the Stormlight Archives: Adolin, Dalanar,, Szeth, and Shallan.

3. Samwise Gamgee, Lord of the Rings - I don't know how anyone can not at least like Samwise. Yes, he's not always the brightest but he's the bravest in my opinion. He's constantly afraid, yes, but he never lets it stop him from doing what he knows in his heart is right. He loves deeply and unconditionally and without him, they would never have succeeded. He takes the worst moment and finds some good, some reason to push past. He's, to me, the kind of person I hope I can be in life. Sam is just a really great character in the movies (the books are not quite the same, but he's still pretty dang good).

Honorable Mentions from Lord of the Rings: Legolas, Aragorn, Eowyn, and others.

4. Reth, Palia - Palia is a fairly new little "cozy" MMO and has its flaws, but the characters are pretty good! So since I've been playing, I'll mention some of my favorites. Reth is a chef who is kind of bad at cooking, but he's funny, sassy, flirty, and charming. He also hides a lot of issues due to the story (that I can't really spill without so many spoilers). The more you get to know him, the deeper he gets and he's actually a really sweet person who values you a lot the more you get to know him.

Honorable Mentions from Palia: Hassian, Jel, Eshe, Ashura, and Delaila and others!

5. Rolan, Baldur's Gate 3 - Look, I know he's barely more than a side character, but I really love Rolan. He's grumpy, he's brash, and he's an absolute jerk...but he deeply loves his siblings, he's very loyal, he's brave, and he has some deep self-worth issues. In short, he is a delight and I love him and I would throw a certain someone off a tower a hundred times for this tiefling.

Honorable Mention from Baldur's Gate 3: Halsin (no surprise), Astarion (look, he's damaged and I love him), Dammon, Karlach, Wyll, and...oh my goodness, so many others. I don't have one SUPER FAVORITE, but I wanted to pick a slightly unusual favorite for my list.

6. Shane, Stardew Valley - Again, no shocker that depressed chicken-man is my favorite. Granted, I think the mods that give him more help him so, so, so much to be a better character, but even at his 'vanilla' version, I find Shane a sympathetic character and one that touched my heart quite a bit. I very much can understand Shane's feelings toward his depression, his life, and how hard things can be. And mods certainly help your story with him to help him become a somewhat healthier person. And I really like that.

Honorable Mention from Stardew Valley: Abigail, Elliot, Marlon, and a bunch of others!

7. Arcade Gannon, Fallout: New Vegas - He's a sassy gay nerd that I'm totally into. He's brilliant, he's witty, he's charming, he's a bit of an ass, but he's also vulnerable, surprisingly deep, and very kind when he can be. So he's definitely one of my favorite New Vegas characters.

Honorable Mentions in Fallout: New Vegas: ED-E, Boone, and Rex!

8. Arthur Morgan, Red Dead Redemption 2 - I understand that the player's choices have a big effect on what kind of character Arthur Morgan is, of course. That said, I found him really well-written, full of depth, and the story overall very moving, especially if you go for high honor.

Honorable Mentions from Red Dead Redemption 2: Dutch, Abigail, John Marston, and others.

9. Zenith, Star Wars: The Old Republic - People think I'm nuts, but I actually love the Jedi Consular storyline. And my favorite companion is Zenith. He's an interesting balance to the Jedi Consular (at least if you play the Light side), and I always enjoyed that he had a strong personality and wasn't easy to budge. He wasn't completely unreasonable in most cases, but I liked that he didn't always let himself be swayed by the player character. He was a deeply damaged, but incredibly loyal and strong-willed person. Also, Troy Baker does amazing voices.

Honorable Mentions from Star Wars: The Old Republic: Theron Shan, Koth Vortena, Lana Beniko, Corso Riggs, and a lot more!

10. Dogmeat, Fallout 4 - So I did two Fallouts. Because I love Dogmeat that much. Dogmeat is the goodest boy and my best friend in the game. Yes, occasionally, Dogmeat blows me up...or ruins something entirely. But he is adorable and precious and my good friend. He makes the wastelands bearable.

Honorable Mentions from Fallout 4: Nick Valentine, Preston Garvery, Piper Write, John Hannock, and more!

If you read all this, thank you for doing so. I tried not to make it too long or include a bunch of spoilers.

[nihilizzzm]

Links & stuff

LOTR:

summer wine [one shot]

Relationships: Aragorn/Arwen, Aragorn/Boromir, Boromir & Arwen

Fluff

No trigger warnings, no archive warning applies

my eyes were ripened fruits [one shot]

Relationships: Aragorn/Boromir

Smut

Rated: explicit for sexual content

my tears poured, clean and copious [one shot]

Relationships: Aragorn/Boromir, Aragorn/Arwen, Boromir & Arwen

Hurt/comfort

Trigger warnings: PTSD, childhood trauma, intrusive thoughts

so carry me from these walls, brother of mine [one shot]

Relationships: Boromir & Faramir

Hurt/comfort

Additional info: Denethor being a shitty dad is causing childhood trauma to form

PLAYLISTS:

boromir 🗡️

faramir 🪐

aragorn 🍃

arwen ���

hannibal 🥩

[glorf1ndel]

aragorn 21 and 22 for the ask thing!!!! and also arwen 12 pls :')

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Oh man, I have not written for Aragorn in years, but I love his being soft and playful when he’s with Arwen. If they’re together, Aragorn essentially turns into the 🥺 emoji, and I have no regrets about that.

22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like?

I like it when Aragorn has good intuitions about what’s going on with other characters, because I feel like that’s on-point for him. He’s observant and thoughtful, so he would catch on to things quickly.

Not sure about something I don’t like for either of these questions, so I will mention something else I like: Aragorn confronting his PTSD or helping other characters navigate theirs!

12. What’s a headcanon you have for Arwen?

That she is mischievous! As a child, she was the little instigator of Imladris, trying to pair couples together or getting involved in pranks with her brothers. She has a joking streak to this day.

Send me a character and number for this ask game!

[milesmentis]

I saw @turbulentpumpkin43 do this for Ariadne and thought, why the hell not ... I always love a chance to talk about my Most Archetype of All Time Guy! 💗

(More below, but the rows basically line up to his looks, themes, and personality in that order)

Boromir (Lord of the Rings) - From the start, Daren's whole concept was "what if Boromir escaped his tragedy?" [Daren's relationship with Alistair is basically a direct inversion of Boromir and Aragorn]. I love Sean Bean to death and when I needed a comfort character to recreate "just for fun" of course it was going to be him. I have him to thank for Daren's tenacity, protectiveness, and stunning profile (and for teaching me how to love my nose by proxy).

Peter Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia) - The character I used to temper him on Daren's second playthrough! He's the source behind his idealism, dry humor, and faithfulness. I had just rewatched The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe at Christmas for the first time in several years and reimprinted on Peter like a baby duck. If I was going to play a noble, I couldn't think of anyone nobler. Also they're both big brothers ... which is why I NEEDED to make Maeve Cousland canon.

Odysseus (The Odyssey) - I love Love LOVE giving characters classical mythology parallels, before or after the fact. This is a more recent inspiration ... I used to say he was my Achilles because of his struggles with rage and PTSD, but that didn't feel quite right. Then I realized his propensity for lying, bargaining, and above all enduring made him a perfect Odysseus. All he wants is his home and family back, and that's his reward after a harrowing journey, but it's changed and so has he. You can never truly go back :) .

Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - This slot was up in the air and for a while I strongly considered putting Murtagh or Jaime Lannister here, because I really felt like this list needed a villain. And specifically one that was charming yet had a very particular relationship with violence. But in the end I chose Eliot, because he has the exact right mix of self-aware control, gentleness, and absolute ruthless brutality. For Daren, this applies to both his battle prowess and political/social clout and he can wield both as equally deadly weapons. He knows how dangerous he is, so he's content letting the people around him forget from time to time.

Horace Altman (Ranger's Apprentice) - Just like Daren, Horace is a secondary protagonist and serves as the strong arm and reliable ally to the titular hero. He's a champion, a prodigy when it comes to warfare, and head-over-heels for the princess. While he started as a lunkheaded bully, he grew into an honorable, thoughtful man. I'm finally reading the last book in the series where he is in his late 30's and I realized that he and Daren got the exact same ending. All the way down to saving the world, marrying the queen, and having a precocious adventure-seeking daughter. Way to go, fellas.

Clark Kent (Superman) - I have been obsessed with Lawful Good Paladin-coded Heroes since I started reading Justice League comics at the age of 5. Although he has more internal ethical struggles than Clark (usually) has to deal with, they both respond to injustice with the same open, uncomplicated desire to save people and Do The Right Thing. Daren is, under all his stoic responsibility and PTSD, just a big fat goober who tries to hide his feelings so his friends never worry about him. He's used to being the strong one, the reliable one, and his most important and deepest bonds form with people who make him feel safe to be vulnerable and see the toll that shouldering the weight of the world takes. Also, they both love women who boss them around.