#as a matter of fact some of taylor criticism are valid but because of the way HER FANS reacts it turns into hate

[graciehart]

the tortured poets department

i have thoughts!! surprising, right?? this is for anyone who cares to read them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Before you read, note that this is going to be critical of things, so let me just start by saying I have loved and listened to Taylor since I was 8, so none of it is said lightly or without careful thought (in fact, this took me absurdly long to write). Most of the issues I have are very near to my heart, actually, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. If you don't want to read criticism, then just don't read more. DISCLAIMER that I did my best, but not even this fully captures the nuance I feel able my own opinions lol I recognize the other sides and points, I really do. I hold many conflicting opinions.

The short version is I will always love her music and her voice and she is capable of writing absolutely gorgeous lyrics (dare I say poetry?). I don't tend to think too much about the sound of it because if I like the sound, it's all I really care about—maybe it sounds the same as other stuff, but if I like that other stuff, I don't really care about whether she branches out or not. I think it's great and interesting when she (or anyone) does, but I also don't like change so it doesn't matter to me the way I know it matters to some people. That's just me!

What gets more complicated for me is the narrative, themes, and general trends that have been more prominent the last year or so, and that's what the rest of my thoughts are. It's me enjoying the music while also being acutely aware of all the grief tangled up in it because of how much less connected I feel in many ways.

Side note: this got soooo much longer than even I expected and it still just scratches the surface! so if you decide to read, 1. thank you, and 2. I'd love to keep talking to you. 🤍

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I am an overthinker (shocking!) and will for sure be annoyed that I can't think of each and every thing I think about this album, but this is what comes to mind right now. Some things that have stood out to me more and more with each release:

a tendency to write self-aware lyrics that, in trying to be self-aware, betray somewhat of a lack of self-awareness

a frustration with never growing up that she expresses while also not realizing the way she is complicit in that and her own refusal to grow up

considering herself the victim, particularly after "overcoming" the accusations that she always plays the victim

venturing more boldly into the territory of serious mental illness/suicidal ideation/mental health treatment despite demonstrating a fair amount of ignorance regarding those things in the past

fame going to her head (in the sense of her becoming further and further out of touch) and the entitlement in a lot of the more immature attitudes that come across in these songs

self-awareness: for me, the first example that comes to mind is Anti-Hero: "it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." It's a claim at self-awareness because she's poking fun at the fact that she knows people always say "maybe she's the problem." The reason why it feels to me like it exposes a lack of self-awareness is because she explores it mostly as a criticism to overcome and not a valid point of self-reflection. @jakeperalta's tags on her post explain it better than I do. Yes, there's an issue when you reduce every feeling to "well maybe she's the problem," but part of growth is admitting that maybe you are part of the problem and coming to terms with the fact that there is often some inevitable truth to that statement—and being willing to work on it. This example is from Midnights, but I think it ties into the next point.

immaturity/never growing up: I actually think these first two sections are just two parts of one section, but it's easier to read this way anyway. There are lots of references to not growing up on this album, the first that come to mind being "So High School" and "teenage petulance." Maybe it's just me, but as a 34-year-old woman, I wouldn't want to be feeling "so high school." I mean, as a 25-year-old, when I talk about feeling like my high school self, it's usually because I'm recognizing how limited my judgment and self-awareness was in high school (despite all the therapy and my efforts to be self-aware in high school). And I am aware of my own bias here—I absolutely hate the football game days because I didn't even like watching people act like that in high school, but at least they were high schoolers—but I do think part of what we've seen is Travis allowing her to be more immature and take less responsibility because that's also where he is at. Obviously I don’t speak to it with any authority since I don't know what happened in the relationship, but based on her behaviors and what I know about Joe (which is VERY little), I kind of get the feeling that part of what she didn't like about being with Joe is that he pushed her to grow. "Your integrity makes me seem small," etc. etc., but not in an “I want to grow” way, but not liking that feeling because she shouldn't have to feel small just because she wants to be able to only do what makes her happy. Just looking at the difference in her behavior and the fact that it seems like she's stopped trying to learn (Miss Americana-ish), it seems like she very much resents the responsibility that comes with being such a famous person and mainly considers herself a victim of her fame.

victimhood: to an extent, yes, she is a victim of her fame. No one should have that much fame and power, and of course she didn't sign up for it in this way. But wanting to have the kind of influence and reach that most artists desire is intertwined with fame. There isn't a way to separate it (in an ideal world, maybe, but that isn't what we're dealing with) and it's something that, to some degree, artists do sign up for. And I think she resents that she's expected to take any sort of responsibility for anything that she doesn't want to do, in a very, "but that's not fair!," teenage petulance kind of way. She even says in Sweet Nothing that "I'm just too soft for all of it." We're all too soft for all of it, but that doesn't mean we get to ignore it. It bothers me that she doesn't seem to feel any sort of responsibility to use this giant platform to do better. Everyone is aware of her influence, including her. I think that's part of the grief. No, it is not her job to use her platform for good, but I thought that it was something she valued and something she wanted. The other line that really stuck out to me was from Cassandra: "They say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?" You may be a victim of what doesn't kill you, but if it becomes who you are, that's not their fault. It reminds me a bit of the exhaustion of living with mental illness. For me in particular, it affects my relationships in a very fundamental way, and there are days that I sob because I am exhausted of things that are so normal being so, so difficult for me... but even though I didn't ask for it and it's not fair that this happened to me, it's still my responsibility to understand how my issues affect how I show up in relationships. It's still my problem, even though it isn't my fault that it's my problem. And if you're lucky, you find really beautiful people who are willing to help you and see that it's not their responsibility, but they want to make it easier for you—I recognize how lucky I am to have some people like that, but it never makes it anyone else's problem. If they decide one day it's not their problem, the truth is that it isn't (and then there's a more complex conversation about what you want to do to preserve a relationship). This is also very connected to something about Kate Beckett/why I identify with that character, and I can touch on that if anyone wants to know, but I don't really have cohesive thoughts about that prepared (it makes more sense if you already know the character). This also goes to other things, like her being upset that people always focus on who songs are about while ignoring the part she played in feeding that culture (like with secret messages).

mental health: this goes to a bigger discussion of how we turn to celebrities who are HIGHLY unqualified to have opinions on things for guidance (the nuance of the above discussion about using your platform), but the more she ventures into the discussion of mental illness, the more upset I get by some remarks she has made in the past. And yes, people grow, she may not feel this way anymore, but nothing in her behavior gives me any reason to believe that she doesn't still have this attitude. This is one that I know I have to be careful of because of how personal it is for me (I've been placed on a 5150 "danger to self" hold and I am a therapist), but one interview that has always made me so upset is that one where she talks about how she's never been to therapy, then ends it by saying "I feel like we just had a therapy session." She has said multiple times how she has never wanted to go to therapy when she has her mom, who already knows everything about her. And that is highly irritating to me because 1. that's why she's your MOM, not your THERAPIST, and 2. there's already so much stigma and apprehension around therapy and many people feel this way, so to have someone like Taylor Swift validate all the people who say "I'd rather talk to someone who already knows me" or "so and so is my therapist" is unbelievably frustrating. There's a reason it's unethical to treat people you know—that isn't therapy. And I think I wouldn't be so bothered by it if she didn't speak about it with such authority, like she knows what she's talking about when what she's saying shows that she doesn't (edit: this is specifically in regard to therapy, not mental illness. I am highly aware that anyone can be mentally ill). The other thing about this album is that it does seem to be an album about loving people with mental illness, and I've already seen a lot of interpretations that simply feed the narrative that people with mental illness are unlovable and mental illness is the reason people mistreat you (particularly the discussion about her lovers being blue all the time). And the issue with that is it's already a common misconception among people with mental illness, that their mental illness is an excuse or reason why they don't treat people right. It's disrespectful to the people who recognize that they have a mental illness that affects how they interact with others and choose to try to overcome it. I'm all for honest discussions about mental illness, but it's so disheartening when it happens on such a large scale and some of the loudest voices are people who don't know enough to know how to (at least try to) do no harm.

fame: I'm not really going to go into it because this has already turned out way longer than I meant for it to, but also because I feel like it's already been touched on. For me, it's the conversation about her feeling she should be able to just do what she wants. I think we all feel that way, but because of her fame and the fact that she's just about untouchable (as shown in how she came back from being cancelled), she can just tune everyone out. But one example was how uneasy I felt about this album being announced at the grammys. For one thing, it's not a fan-voted award, so even if it should, it doesn't feel the same. And regardless of your take on award shows, I do think it showed a level of insensitivity to the other artists who haven't won a bunch of grammys to decide that she would announce a new album at the grammys. Because even if she had a backup plan and said she didn't plan on it, the truth is that, to decide to have a backup plan, you did have to count on it happening, at least to an extent. You had to feel it was likely enough that you wanted to have a back up plan just in case, but it probably would go the way you wanted. To me, it just felt so... disrespectful. Because for many other artists, it doesn't happen more than once. (not to mention the many other things happening that got completely overshadowed, like Annie Lennox calling for a ceasefire)

So if you read all that... I don't even know what the point is at this point. These are just thoughts that, to me, don't feel right to simply ignore. I know there's an argument that you can enjoy music without enjoying where it came from, and it's true to an extent, but I also think part of the music is where it comes from. So... I don't know. Do with that what you will. And if you are reading this, I love you (I can't believe you're reading this).

[greenerteacups]

this might seem v random but, if you haven't come across it already, i would really recommend tavi gevinson's latest online zine 'fan fiction' -- not because of the fan fiction element of it, though, but because of your evident love of taylor swift (who it's about) and your impeccable literary taste. and would love to hear your thoughts!

This was an excellent recommendation, and I loved it. I will admit that the RPF segment had me leery (RPF throws me for reasons I have yet to intellectually inspect but believe may relate somehow to the concept of voyeurism) but I'm glad I finished it, because she pulls it together very well. The dialogue in the last segment is especially great, particularly these parts:

And this:

And this:

Because this gets at what I find so Gordian about Internet conversations among even relatively respectful/measured people about Swift's work and presence: we can't seem to figure out what it is we want from her. There is no right way for a woman to be more famous than most presidents. Do we want her to need us or not? Should she care about our approval or shouldn't she? Is the fact that she doesn't "feel" authentic to us the consequence of having demanded authenticity for so long she literally had to shape her personality to fit what "felt real" to millions of people, and in the process, of course, of course, inevitably, produced work that felt authentic to no one?

And then also, like. To what extent do fans use her autonomy/consent as a lever for bad behavior? I.e. does the "invitation" of personal information in her songs license us to speculate about her like she's a character on a TV show? Where is the line of appropriate speculation in an autobiographical medium? I was talking to my friend at dinner just tonight about how it's gross that people can't seem to give her the credit of writing songs that aren't 100% always About Her, and my friend pointed out that she invites comparisons to her own life by teasing names and iconography we identify with her public persona. It's like Brett Easton Ellis writing a book about a character named Brett Easton Ellis. Sure, they're not the same person, but you've invoked a symbol, and people are not being ridiculous for trying to analyze that symbol in the context of the work. In order to do that, they need to understand what the symbol is. Which means the biographical stuff actually is relevant to the text, and Swift's obvious irritation at her fans for failing to just... fuck off a little bit and let her live, while an entirely fair and morally defensible human response, is complicated by the way that her art is produced to resonate best for those who care most. Folklore and Evermore prove even Taylor is on some level aware of this, because she uses the third-person mechanic (and again in "Bolter") to differentiate those protagonists from the narrative construct of "Taylor Swift" in her other first-person work — i.e. pulling apart the Swift who is speaking and not the Swift who is singing (if that makes sense).

And then, finally: "The irony gets a bit tired. You can just say you like music. It's fine." What a deliciously recursive little bit of irony, considering it's a criticism being offered by a character whose ironic distance is itself being criticized. And the fact that the author is putting her own self-criticism in the mouth of a non-existent popstar who's deliberately flattening her take on her subject matter? Mingling valid with invalid criticism to establish a protective distance from her flaws and prove her smarty-pants intellectual self-awareness while also implicitly disowning the faults in her work, an (ironically) childish gesture of insecurity that stands at odds with the mature intellectual persona? Trying to have about seven or eight different cakes, and eat every one of them? "The irony gets a bit tired." Fucking perfect. I laughed.

[taylortruther]

i think people worrying about another 2016 happening is definitely a mix of wanting to be able to stay morally correct while being obsessed with her paired with actual concern for her. my first thought when seeing all of this go down a few days ago on twitter was how taylor must be feeling. not necessarily about the fact that shes getting hate cause shes used to that but it must be so confusing to be put on such a high pedestal randomly (cause lets be honest, she didnt do anything all that differently than before so it mustve taken her by surprise that shes this liked again) to then seeing a lot of the general public start to be annoyed by some of your habits and quirks that they found endearing just a few months ago. it would genuinely drive me insane if i were her.

i hear you and i wonder how she deals with this too. but honestly, taylor knows better than anyone how fickle public adoration is. as she said in her poty, she's been raised up and down the flagpole of public opinion countless times. it appears she knows how to deal with it better, mentally, than she used to. but i agree it must be so confusing and just shitty. like, as a fan, some controversy or criticism is valid (hate that i even have to say this lest i be called a ~blind stan that lives up her ass~), and surely taylor has corrected some missteps because she learned things the hard way. but being shit on for cheering, dancing, looking surprised, announcing albums, "snubbing" legends, and so on? all of those things are so petty and have so little merit no matter what angle you try to find (except: "i personally find her personality annoying, yuck!")

[outrunningthedark]

Ok I know I’m kinda late to this but I kinda wanna talk about the Ana and Taylor and misogyny thing cause I also kinda find it weird. Like yes there are people who hate female characters because they are female and that’s an issue but also most people who (at least as far as I see) dislike them have good reasons for it. Like Ana and being ableist and while I have an issue for hating the character because of the actor that’s not really the case with her again her character was ableist and the actress is playing a Latinx character while not being Latinx. Yet it seems like you’re not allowed to dislike them and I don’t know but something about that makes me feel weird. Also like the fact some people are comparing Ryan and Oliver playing bi/gay/queer character (if Buddie happens) to Gabriella playing a Latinx character while being black and Irish also feels wrong like it’s kinda a false equivalence (now I am gay but I am also white so I can’t completely speak on this) like they didn’t know buddie would be a thing when they casted the actors they knew they wanted Ana to be Latinx.

The only reason people are dismissing the complaints we have about the female characters tied to Buck and Eddie is because they're tied to Buck and Eddie. These "holier than thou" fans see the criticism and automatically assume their faves are hated because they "get in the way of a ship". I hope Buddie is going canon. I believe they will be down the road. However, I have no influence on what Tim decides. If he's THAT against the possibility of romantic Buddie (I don't believe so, but there are plenty of doubters) he's going to find ways for it not to happen. This is no different than fans calling for Ryan to be fired all season for making racist comments and yet their outrage had zero impact on Tim's decision-making. HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE WANT. The only reason Buddie will end up in a relationship (if they do) is because Tim knows he has the chance to be hailed a genius by people who aren't paid to work for him. It's completely self-serving. Fandom as a whole fucked up when they took the word feminism and decided it meant women can never do wrong no matter the circumstances. With our fandom, it means Ryan deserves to never work again after his ignorance was exposed, but Gabrielle Walsh is allowed to repeatedly pretend to be Latina (while never addressing it!) because "she's still a WOC in Hollywood". The problem is that the people excusing Gabrielle's behavior are disrespecting actual Latinas who are not comfortable with what she's doing. Propping up one woman because she's nice to look at and a "celebrity" while ignoring those who have something to say about it is the opposite of "supporting all women", fyi. As for Ryan and Oliver portraying LGBTQ+ characters while being straight: Your point is 100% valid. The casting directors were clearly not looking for gay or bi men to play these roles when they were first introduced to the show. Personally, I've never subscribed to the "hire LGBTQ+ actors to play LGBTQ+ characters!!!" outrage. Yes, in a perfect world, out and proud actors would be able to portray the characters that match their identity, but let's not kid ourselves here - celebrities are no different than us regular folks. Not everyone wants to be out. Not everyone feels comfortable coming out. Some stay closeted because they believe it'll help them get bigger and better roles. Some stay closeted because they don't want to be known as "that [insert sexuality] actor" and have the media constantly asking questions about their personal life. Some stay closeted because they know their family and friends are too homophobic/biphobic/transphobic to handle the truth. Comparing Ryan and Oliver possibly taking on the roles of two bisexual (?) men (I don't get involved in the sexuality discourse because I do not identify as a man nor am I bisexual so it's not my place to talk) because Tim decides to alter their characters' identities years after the fact versus Gabrielle auditioning for a role she knew she didn't deserve simply because she considers herself "an honorary Mexican" is nothing more than an excuse to throw around the word "misogyny" - people think using it makes them sound smarter than they actually are.

[musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer]

THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

You don’t have to agree with what I’m about to say, you’re allowed to have your own feelings and opinion, this is just my post reflection re-examined take not just as a black fan but as human in general but I hope it gives you a new perspective. I’ve been thinking about this whole situation and wanting to see if there’s something I’m missing because something feels badly wrong and I just can’t shake it. 

I think what genuinely started off as respectful constructive criticism has now become people nitpicking on a whole new level and some people just being flat out hateful. I’m talking DEMONIC level vile and twisting things to fit some messed up agenda they have. To be honest some non black or poc fans seem more upset about this situation than black fans themselves. I feel like this whole thing has now gotten out of hand and taken a lot of focus off the movement that could honestly be a lot better spent.

The class of 2020 video I felt was her just trying to be light hearted and connect with people who yes, many are going through a difficult time, but their graduation was supposed to be a really happy day. She was bullied a lot in school, so graduation must’ve been something she held on to during dark times and looked forward to to give her hope. Then she never got to fulfil the ending she imagined but she celebrated in her own way with her mum who was her rock the whole time in a not so glamorous setting but she was happy. So I think she just wanted to make them feel better and focus on the positives. Which I thought was nice of her. Taylor’s going through her own difficulties also. I didn’t see it as her trying to trivialise what other people may be going through at all. What did you want her to do? I’m pretty sure if she took a focus on the serious issues approach you’d say she’s being too negative or it wouldn’t be right in some other way.

As for the BLM situation, I too wished she’d do more and felt she had so much potential to still do better. I wrote a whole rambly post explaining my feelings. Here’s my original post for reference: https://musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer.tumblr.com/post/620145959803961344/maybe-i-am-stupid-for-feeling-this-hurt-and-its

After taking some time to think about it, I’ve come to some realisations that have given me a new perspective. Do I think that Taylor could still do better? Yes she has lots of potential to improve. But what is better? Who gets to decide what level of better is enough? What I’ve come to realise is though I think a lot of people are genuinely coming from a place of love, we’re holding Taylor to an unfair standard. Before you get all outraged just hear me out.

Like I said in my original post I think most of us feel this is odd and confusing for the same reasons. In any case, I think our special bond with her is the major part of why we’re holding her to this high standard. The fan/celebrity dynamic can be incredibly toxic for both parties. She’s grateful for her fans and goes above and beyond the norm to really make us all feel special and loved, like we’re friends almost. But the truth is, fan love can be very toxic and in reality she’ll never be able to love us back the way we love her or want her to. Not because she doesn’t care enough to but the very nature of our relationship makes it impossible to do so because this relationship is an unnatural one.

Essentially she is one human who is and or does something we like (ie. make music), that we often also attach our own super meaningful significances and emotion to. So it’s more than just what they are/do it’s also what that means to us. We are over a million individual STRANGERS who obsess and sort of stalk her in a socially acceptable way (for the most part) and we love her and believe we’re special to her because she approves and acknowledges and interacts with us as a collective group through posts online and during in person events. But because we also feel that we love her in our own unique way as individuals distinct from the group and have our own ‘love story’ with her, we believe we all have a unique special bond with her. Logically we know we are just a stranger but emotionally I guess deep down we crave that love being reciprocated as an individual. We don’t just want to be loved as a collective, we want to be special to her, we want to let her know how much we love her and have her listen to our thoughts/feelings and essentially feel like her friend and for us to tell us personally she loves and appreciates us back or to praise or validate our displays of love in some way.

Without meaning to we can often put her on a pedestal. She is our perfect idol, queen of whatever safe haven we’ve created in ‘her magical world’ we escape to. We love and defend her. In some cases it almost becomes like borderline worship. We would do anything for her or anything to feel close to her no matter how humiliating or whatever the cost, because it’s for her she is our everything and no one could understand your love, they just don’t get it. Who cares if you look crazy, love is crazy right? We obsessively learn facts about her as a way to feel closer. Or save up for ages just to buy objects she sells or pay to be in her presence for an hour or two. Those who get to meet her report back to the group details which would be viewed as incredibly creepy outside the context of fan/celebrity, like what does she smell like, how long you remember her holding your hand for in seconds, the instant you saw her you fell on the floor overcome with emotion and ugly cried, despite this being your first time ever meeting her, so you are again likely a literal stranger to her, you profess your love and proceed to tell her your deepest darkest and most intimate thoughts, feelings, life traumas and secrets and want her to be completely chill and loving and instantly say something beautiful and profound in response to treasure forever. The group fawn over you when you return, you become a chosen one, the chosen elite are specially selected and invited to her home (the HIGHEST honour) where she shares her work with you before anyone, you then have a secret to keep because she trusts you and loves you.

Human beings cannot form deep intimate friendships with over a million people. It’s just not possible. She will never be our friend friend, but the closest thing we have is her momentarily acknowledging our existence. We know this and so it becomes a competition for her attention. This kind of one sided love and weird relationship dynamic, allows us to more easily tap into the darker sometimes more destructive sides of love; obsession, jealousy, rage, neediness, possessiveness. I’m not saying this to make fun of anyone (trust me, I have humiliated myself in ways as fangirl especially as a teen that continue to haunt me to this day), I just wanted to give you a very literal description of our relationship with her so you’ll understand my point that our relationship is unnatural.

We would say we love Taylor like a friend, but when you’re a fan you don’t really. Not because you don’t know enough about her or she doesn’t talk to you enough but for the very nature of what I explained above, she may mean something to us but to her we are literally strangers. Besides, imagine a good friend of yours right now, imagine doing everything you do for Taylor for your friend. Put pictures of them all over your bedroom wall, frame a tissue they touched, make web pages dedicated to them, wearing clothing with their face on it. Yeah, there’s a high chance they’d get a restraining order against you.

From Taylor’s perspective it must be incredibly strange. She’s said she often feels like she’s in a fish bowl. Well what we essentially do is all smoosh our faces against the glass and repeatedly tap it to get the attention of the pretty fish (Taylor). Every time it comes out of the little castle in the bowl, the frenzy begins. Could you imagine what it must feel like to be her? All that attention? All those people pinning all their expectations hopes and dreams on you. Thousands of people making you their sanctuary and safety comforter so if you did something to loose them their worlds would come crashing down. That’s an insane amount of pressure. It must be genuinely terrifying. 

Taylor said she struggles with wanting to keep everybody happy and giving too much of herself to do so, she’s a perfectionist and hates letting people down or she beats herself up about it. I know she loves what she does, but at the same time it must be so exhausting and really drain you. She must read lots of really happy & silly posts, but then some might be people sharing really emotional things about a very difficult and dark time they’re going through, though we mean well when we share it, it must be really hard knowing that you can’t help them. I don’t even want to imagine the vile hate that she reads, because imagine how one hate comment makes us feel but she gets hundreds and sometimes it’s on magazines at the store so it follows her everywhere. She can’t even go outside to do regular human things without the risk of getting mobbed or just knowing everyone’s staring at her and watching her every move. Look how we all hate being trapped at home because everywhere we go outside is dangerous due to COVID-19. It’s a huge amount to take in and process emotionally.

Sometimes I think she research’s people before she meets them, not just because she cares, but for her own sanity and to make it less strange. So the interaction can be more normal. She seems to really like reading people just talking about their ordinary life, day to day things because her life is far from normal. But she meets us like a conveyer belt, people that she makes a connection with and then they get taken away and she’ll never get to meet them again. When she wants to see someone again, people get upset because why aren’t they getting a chance to get picked or that person had already met her, but they don’t think about how Taylor feels because maybe she likes that person and wants to talk to them again. We think her life is incredibly privileged and yes she’s incredibly smart and knows how to handle her career but in reality in a lot of ways it must be so maddening, sad and lonely because human beings were not designed to live this way. “And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused, ‘cause you don’t feel pretty you just feel used.”

It’s okay to be a fan of someone or look up to them or connect and find meaning with them and their work. As long as it’s done in a healthy way. We need to really work on that or we’re really going to hurt her more than we have. For Taylor to live the life she does, you have to develop really thick skin or turn to things to just numb everything, I see how celebrities end up with addiction problems or suddenly acting out because they can’t cope anymore. You have to learn to shut it out to survive. We made her our comfort blanket that we’d find it hard to live without. So we want her to behave in a way that we approve, not just because we want her to be her best self but also because we struggle to think how we’d cope without her. But we have to remember she’s human just like us. She’s going to make mistakes, not always be her best self, have bad days. Just because she might have more money or more people that know her doesn’t make her magically stop being human. She goes through life like everyone else. It’s healthy to give her constructive criticism but we have to watch the tone in which we say things. I’m not saying we baby her but we have to remember unnatural dynamic we have. It’s not just a few posts, it ends up being thunderously loud because it’s thousands or more than a million people saying the same thing. Social media makes you forget you’re talking to a human being because you can’t see their face or their reaction to how your words are impacting them. Sometimes you can’t shut it out and to her it must feel like a million people are suddenly very angry or disappointed with you and are going to take their love away. Because I guess in a way she becomes attached to us also. You don’t stop caring no matter what people say, you’re human. Remember how it feels when one person you love is disappointed or angry with you. Now amplify that. Mentally that’s...wow. I feel so so bad for her because I honestly don’t know how she copes and does this so well. This could all really send someone over the edge and we’ve seen it happen. We’ve gotten a tiny glimpse into how badly it can affect her. I’m glad she has an amazing family, Joe and true friends who are there for her but God only how she copes behind closed doors.

This fandom sometimes reaches an ugly level of entitlement because the truth is she has spoiled us. We expect things that we shouldn’t expect because she gives us more attention and puts more effort into making all of us feel special than we deserve. I can’t believe after everything she’s ever done, people would think it was all a lie. Mess up one time and everything you did was fake? People who are fake mess up, especially when things aren’t going their way or to plan and they snap and reveal what they’re really like. She’s been through so many trials time and time again and proven her character. Come on, we know who she is. Like all humans she might not be perfect but she is truly good person and she has a good heart and a pure beautiful soul. She’d have to be an insanely good actress and dedicate a huge amount of time to planning all of these lies. You guys have met her, you’ve seen how good she is at connecting with people instantly. She’s warm and loving and even the cats love her as much as she loves them. For someone who has so much money, she seems to enjoy the simple things in life the most and making everyone happy and she’s so humble. I think a lot of that is also in part to the people around her who keep her grounded. 

Anyhow, that black and white thinking of you are either all good or you’re all bad, is so immature and dangerous, because people are more complicated than that because we’re not simply one thing. Which one of us is a perfect person that has never made a mistake or let people down? Ever made a resolution that you stuck to or you needed more time to work on, or were just unsure how to begin or feel overwhelmed? Exactly. I know a lot of us came from a place of love, we don’t hate her at all we just wanted her to do better. And we’ve come up with all kinds of conspiracies of why she doesn’t want to post more because we feel that this doesn’t match the Taylor that we know in our hearts that she is. 

We need to stop judging and shaming each other. Virtue signalling for the sake of looking woke and outrage culture needs to end because it honestly does more harm than good. I’ve seen it become like dangerous mob behaviour and people get hurt. We all learn at our own pace and handle things in our own way and prefer helping in our own preferred ways. Don’t always assume the worst about people. Like I said, social media isn’t the be all and end of everything. Just because you don’t post about it doesn’t mean you don’t care. You could be doing lots of things offline to help that could be really impactful. Often times these can have huge meaningful long term impact, because we literally don’t live inside the internet. Humans connecting with each other in the real world as nature intended us to be is actually super important. I think a lot of problems could be resolved by people logging off the internet and talking to each other in person; people say things behind a screen that they wouldn’t in real life or may regret because it’s easier to not access empathy and not view the person you’re talking to as human this way. It’s good to take your own time to properly think about things before you just open your mouth. Besides everyone starts somewhere. 

There’s lots of really graphic stuff online at the moment and even I had to take a break. Someone not being black doesn’t mean they don’t need to care for their mental health or don’t get affected. The virus has been really hard on a lot of us in many ways, it can infect anyone and honestly all the panic and doom and uncertainty starts to really get to you after a while and sometime’s you just have to disconnect. Her mother is very vulnerable and Taylor is a human with feelings. You have to fill up your own cup before you can pour into other people’s. We need to be kinder to each other, you never know what someone is going through or what their circumstances are. It might not always be safe for someone to speak out publicly, it’s often more complicated than we think. We know white supremacist groups have made Taylor a focus before, maybe her recent activity could make her a target and put her in a lot danger. I pray not and that she and everyone she loves is safe. 

We have to remember to try and have empathy for her and not look at her as just Taylor with the huge fan base, but Taylor the human being. We all have our flaws. Her mother is really gravely ill. I know lots of you will be like so? that’s not an excuse. But I think we all need to examine who we’ve allowed ourselves to become because that’s such a gross attitude and we’re not being fair with her. Her mum is her best friend and the most important person who comforts her and is her source of security and stability. She means so much to her, she’s her mum. We too should care about her mum because she’s been such an angel to us as fans and is a pure bright light in this world. Remember soon you’ll get better? That broke my heart. God only knows how Taylor is coping with all of that, the scrutiny of fame, the pandemic and whatever threats she could have received. If you’ve ever had someone you love go through something like this, you know how hard it can be, how helpless you can feel and how your head might not always be in the right space. Every second with them is precious because things genuinely change in an instant and you could suddenly lose them. Imagine your own darkest moment. Maybe given her circumstances that’s the best she can do right now. It’s not our place to judge her. 

Why can’t she get her team to simply post for her? I imagine she’d rather do it and select things herself given the sensitive important nature of this cause (it’s not like merch promo) or else we’d then start to question everything else. She would make headlines for anything she did. It would draw attention to her and could put her family in more danger. Remember how her dad was so afraid for her? Well I don’t think any added stress is what her family needs with her sick mother in the midst of a global pandemic. When does Taylor get a break from everyone and just get a second to look after herself? We can wish but we cannot demand that she come and explain to console us. We are not her responsibility. 

I’ve noticed she’s been different the past few months. She doesn’t look like herself in the pictures she’s posted, she just looks blank and this whole situation has felt very off and I’ve really worried something was wrong. Watching that class 2020 video Idk you might think I’m crazy but it genuinely sounded like she was holding in tears and she looked sad. Like she was somewhere else when she was talking but forcing herself to look happy. Just because she may look like she’s holding it together doesn’t mean she actually is. My heart is broken for her and I pray for her and her loved ones. Go back and watch it yourself. 

We all need to really reflect and deeply think about how our actions can affect others and take a long hard look at the people we have become and ask ourselves if this is who we really want to be, myself included. You can still have your own feelings and opinions on this situation but I really hope this helps you see a new perspective. We have to remember there are multiple injustices and hardships going on all over the world at once. We need to check our pride and our egos and humble ourselves. Be less judgmental and more empathetic. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. 

Taylor if you’re reading this (I know the chances are teensy), I’m genuinely so sorry. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and well. I love you so so much and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers 💖

[popi-the-fatui]

what if i,, kin zhongli 😟

I-

@theodora3022 this you?

Anyways, here we go:

You are a nerd. More precisely, a History Nerd™️. My second choice is that you were a theatre kid in high school. Also, you were that kid in class that sat in the back of the room and no one knew actually got very high grades. You also went through that really weird phase in which you were very into Greek/Egyptian/Roman mythology.

You are that friend with all of the weird facts and you probably follow a whole bunch of “did you know” pages. Also, proud owner of an extreme but valid and respectful fascination with cultures that are different from yours.

One thing that gets you very hyped are deep conversations regarding political issues and you are ELITE at discussing them because you are able to criticize every side with resourcefulness. Also in this matter, you CAN’T stand people who don’t know or are not interested in what’s happening around them regarding politics, social justice, natural disasters, etc... and your perfect partner would be someone very knowledgeable and that would like museum/cafe/library dates.

You need your “hermit” time to recharge your social battery, and have no problems with staying by yourself (in fact, you like it).

Low-key Daddy issues. This makes you try to please everyone and always try to make everyone happy so they don’t forget about you or leave you hanging. Also, to make people proud, through your life you have tried learning new things which derived in you being a Jack of all Trades, Master of None, which basically means you are good in a lot of things but you are not the best of the best at one thing in particular.

You don’t know how to emoji and you struggle finding the correct one in each context so you reply everything with an “ok.” or an 👍🏼. Perfect grammar and punctuation when texting, 10/10 reply game (we need more people who answer righ away).

You have a playlist of your dad’s roadtrip music: Cat Stevens, Billy Joel, Elton John, Simon and Gargunkel, John Denver, James Taylor, Carole King (you get where I’m going to)

No one would partner with you in the Hunger Games because either the either person would have to carry the team or you wouldn’t get any sponsorships (basically you’re broke).

If you watch animes, some of your other kins are probably Kunikida (BSD), Erwin (AoT), Akaashi (Haikyuu), Gyomei/Tamayo/Kagaya (Demon Slayer), NANAMI (JJK).

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Fun fact: I googled Winston’s famous “you’re on a revenge jag” quote including the part about digging two graves (neither of which needed to be his). Apparently that was a reference to a Chinese proverb (often attributed to Confucius but not really) that states “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves,” meaning that seeking revenge will probably lead to destroying yourself as well as whoever you’re trying to destroy. In this case, Taylor was screwing over all of Mase (1/2)

(2/2) Cap in their quest to get back at Axe and Winston was understandably pissed at how they were paying for something they didn’t ask to be caught up in. When he said “neither [grave] needs to be mine” he meant that he didn’t have to stay and end up in a grave, which of course led to Mafee attacking him for being “disloyal” for not wanting to be in the crossfire of a revenge plot that he never asked to be a part of. But yeah, make of that what you will. Just something interesting I found.

oh yeah after reading this i also tried to look up if we know the source of the Dig Two Graves saying and apparently we really do not (i.e. yeah frequently attributed to confucius but there’s no actual record of that, been attributed to Ancient Greece or smthing just as baselessly, there’s apparently an idea it could be a rough translation of a japanese aphorism but it’s just an idea)

really winston is laying out his whole Argument v well and i suppose that’s why taylor had No immediate response for him, b/c surely if he Was just gonna complain abt it like “this sucks >:/” and leave it at that, they’d be prepared to maybe handle that level of disgruntlement and have some methods in mind to shut it down, but winston is just Right and is being thorough about why he’s right and like. i don’t think they Can really argue with it, much less were prepared to do so in that moment, and sure seems like they did ultimately agree with him / listen to him seeing as they turn around (in 4x12, not 4x11, rip) to say they Had gotten off-course and weren’t interested in taking the revenge jag route, actually

like, he’s walking through why the Revenge Jag is the only reason they’re not getting bonuses, vs mafee just ascribing it to a general strategy to Save Resources in year 1 of the fund.......pointing out that if taylor Wanted to pay *anyone* full bonuses, they Could prioritize their top employees which does included winston even though he gets no backup on that outside of 3x11 and certainly not now when he’s Cringe N Fail cuz he said Moi while insisting on his value (and when the general audience of the show seems to have decided he’s out-of-line Egotistical for taking pride in his ability and never downplaying it / the value of it) as well as the fact that this isn’t about “oh i Would pay you if i Could” b/c he knows they’re not just waiting for some influx of funds, they’re Only holding back on paying people because they’re Anticipating the [dig two graves] situation, i.e. it’s Because they’re now planning to reorient their strategy around Actively Battling Axe Cap (in that they’re now intending to go on the offensive rather than just reacting defensively to axe’s attacks) that they foresee a need to Conserve Resources b/c they know this course of action could be “damaging” to mase cap by costing them money. and that taylor is putting that Anticipated Burden of an unnecessary plan that they personally chose......like, taylor’s employees don’t really get a say in this shift where the overall direction of the fund is now: Revenge Jag, but they’re pretty literally paying for it, aka having that [dig two graves] Cost put on them, aka neither grave has to be winston’s......

plus winston has Especial reason to be upset with this shift towards revenge jag, b/c he’s the quantitative guy, and this isn’t a Quantitatively Driven approach, as evident by him in 4x08 talking abt how the numbers don’t back up this particular strategy and in 4x12 when taylor’s talking about returning to their mathematical model and then winston says Q is for Quantitative Babey which isn’t just a total nonsequitur......Revenge Jag Tmc would be less focused on the quant-driven approach and thus winston’s work would be less relevant and he wouldn’t be able to just do his best shit for them if it kept being the case like “yeah we’re pursuing this strategy b/c first and foremost it’d suck for axe” so he’d have reason to feel like not only is he being Devalued right now in not being worth like, basically investing in as a Resource (like, speaking of conserving them, Not driving off your head quant would = conserving a resource) but in the future his contributions and ideas might continue to be pushed aside b/c like, again with the Dig Two Graves, the revenge jag probably isn’t gonna be quantitatively-friendly and he’d have to keep writing off his own potential input / have his own strategies be valued less b/c they’re deprioritized in favor of “what might be damaging for axe cap”

and then from a more Meta perspective, there’s the fact that mase cap only has four named non-taylor people, and mafee’s feeling Especially obligated to provide taylor with immediate and unconditional support thanks to his whole “oops i spilled some intel” thing, and sara really wouldn’t criticize this move even if she didn’t 100% individually love it either, b/c it Would conserve resources for tmc and she’s more about telling taylor what they need to do from the “you gotta do this thing you might not personally wanna do to make / avoid losing money” and this is like, the opposite of that, and sara would also probably save such input for a one-on-one meeting lol, and lauren’s not gonna say anything, so really only winston is Available to speak up lol

and that transitions right into how winston’s also immediately proven correct in criticizing the whole structure of this “choice” they’re getting, in that they’re all pressured to take the [defer bonus for a year] route and this is happening not through Direct pressure from taylor, but the expectation that the Social Dynamics among coworkers will push everyone to defer. like, clearly the thing is that everyone’s going to be worried that if anyone’s deferring, that’ll make those employees Look Good b/c they’re proving their Loyalty and “taking one for the team,” and a reasonable worry that those employees will thus be Preferred going forward. and in this moment that winston’s bringing it up, he’s also, you know, arguing with his boss and gets no support / backup on it not only b/c none of the other people present wanna actually make these Complaints themselves / back them up even if, like mafee, they’re evidently not personally thrilled about it, but also b/c winston really doesn’t seem to have much support in s4 beyond taylor’s indirect and implicit validation, which he of course isn’t gonna get here, and if people were willing to ignore / dismiss winston’s input and/or dunk on him about it over basically Nothing before, here’s a chance to choose between “hmm Winston Vs Taylor” like. nobody’s gonna side with winston, maybe not even if he Was popular and beloved, but he’s apparently the guy nobody has much respect / appreciation for and broadly dislikes, so it’s just like. he has Points, and mafee doesn’t even argue against those, just argues against winston daring to bring them up at all, because a) mafee is looking to continue Proving his support of taylor anyways and here’s an obvious avenue to do so by just shoving winston into a locker b/c you easily Can and b) he’s attacking winston not for being Wrong but for being Disloyal for not just Supporting taylor here and being whiny rather than taking one for the team and whatever nonsense about “if you don’t like it, become ceo of your own fund” like, the lesson here is to unionize......but really winston is just proven Right by mafee, a coworker, immediately making this an issue of Loyalty and by winston only caving not b/c he accepts that he’s Wrong on any of his points but b/c he’s being Social Pressured here in the form of “being yelled at / insulted and when he’s yelled at / insulted winston seems to just want it to Be Over, reasonably,” and taylor doesn’t Have to pressure him themself if their employees will pressure each other For them

god i’m still mad about 4x11 lmfao. bitter 5ever like how can you not be. he was Right but it didn’t matter b/c nobody was gonna stick up for him in the face of a) backign Taylor instead or b) in the face of anything, tbh. that shit didn’t kick in until s5, finally, and still only Partially.....peak standing up for winston in the form of rian in 5x05 going “yeah i’ll casually argue for why you shouldn’t fire him" and “oh you’re saying winston should have a drink? i’m saying he should do whatever he wants b/c what are you, shit at math?” thank you rian. probably totally unnecessary and that’s what winston deserves for once, like, go Beyond “someone intervening only if the most belligerent and bullying axe capper comes storming over to yell at winston, but if bill uses his inside voice it’s okay to just monitor the situation even if it involves threats and getting all up in winston’s space like a creep” i don’t think rian would be a silent observer to that

tl;dr Yeah Agree lmao sorry it took me ages to answer this....i was like “oh god i gotta be semi-Coherent for this one and say smthing beyond ‘yeah agree’” and i procrastinated that for this whole time b/c it’s intimidating to think of trying to accomplish that. thank u for the ask lol

[acoolchickouthere13]

July 10, 2019- Amazon prime day concert

July 23, 2019- shares likes with Joe on Instagram, shoots the lover music video, releases the Archer single in the livestream, and gets VMA nominations, does an interview with CBS Sunday morning

First secret session in London Friday August 2nd, 2019

Karlie Kloss turns 27 August 3, 2019

I still believe this was taken during the Australia winter 2016 trip, when Taylor was “26”

August 4th, 2019

Second secret session in Nashville Sunday August 4th, 2019(Over 100 fans were in attendance, apparently, as the event was said to include guests from a Nashville session AND an alleged Rhode Island session. (There are rumors the original Rhode Island session was canceled because the date got leaked))

August 5th, 2019 Nashville

“When we talked seven years ago, everything was going so well for you, and you were very worried that something would go wrong.

Yeah, I kind of knew it would. I felt like I was walking along the sidewalk, knowing eventually the pavement was going to crumble and I was gonna fall through. You can’t keep winning and have people like it. People love “new” so much — they raise you up the flagpole, and you’re waving at the top of the flagpole for a while. And then they’re like, “Wait, this new flag is what we actually love.” They decide something you’re doing is incorrect, that you’re not standing for what you should stand for. You’re a bad example. Then if you keep making music and you survive, and you keep connecting with people, eventually they raise you a little bit up the flagpole again, and then they take you back down, and back up again. And it happens to women more than it happens to men in music.

But you also had good things happen in your life at the same time — that’s part of Reputation.

The moments of my true story on that album are songs like “Delicate,” “New Year’s Day,” “Call It What You Want,” “Dress.” The one-two punch, bait-and-switch of Reputation is that it was actually a love story. It was a love story in amongst chaos. All the weaponized sort of metallic battle anthems were what was going on outside. That was the battle raging on that I could see from the windows, and then there was what was happening inside my world — my newly quiet, cozy world that was happening on my own terms for the first time. . . . It’s weird, because in some of the worst times of my career, and reputation, dare I say, I had some of the most beautiful times — in my quiet life that I chose to have. And I had some of the most incredible memories with the friends I now knew cared about me, even if everyone hated me. The bad stuff was really significant and damaging. But the good stuff will endure. The good lessons — you realize that you can’t just show your life to people….words are my only way of making sense of the world and expressing myself — and now any words I say or write are being twisted against me. People love a hate frenzy. It’s like piranhas. People had so much fun hating me, and they didn’t really need very many reasons to do it. I felt like the situation was pretty hopeless. I wrote a lot of really aggressively bitter poems constantly. I wrote a lot of think pieces that I knew I’d never publish, about what it’s like to feel like you’re in a shame spiral. And I couldn’t figure out how to learn from it. Because I wasn’t sure exactly what I did that was so wrong. That was really hard for me, because I cannot stand it when people can’t take criticism. So I try to self-examine, and even though that’s really hard and hurts a lot sometimes, I really try to understand where people are coming from when they don’t like me. And I completely get why people wouldn’t like me. Because, you know, I’ve had my insecurities say those things — and things 1,000 times worse….But I can’t really respond to someone saying, “You, as a human being, are fake.” And if they say you’re playing the victim, that completely undermines your ability to ever verbalize how you feel unless it’s positive. So, OK, should I just smile all the time and never say anything hurts me? Because that’s really fake. Or should I be real about how I’m feeling and have valid, legitimate responses to things that happened to me in my life? But wait, would that be playing the victim? ...I needed to grow up in many ways. I needed to make boundaries, to figure out what was mine and what was the public’s. That old version of me that shares unfailingly and unblinkingly with a world that is probably not fit to be shared with? I think that’s gone. But it was definitely just, like, a fun moment in the studio with me and Jack [Antonoff] where I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call — because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up….I don’t think I’ve ever leaned into the old version of myself more creatively than I have on this album, where it’s very, very autobiographical. But also moments of extreme catchiness and moments of extreme personal confession….

But is the idea that as your own life becomes less dramatic, you’ll need to pull ideas from other places?

I don’t feel like that yet. I think I might feel like that possibly when I have a family. If I have a family. [Pauses] I don’t know why I said that! But that’s what I’ve heard from other artists, that they were very protective of their personal life, so they had to draw inspiration from other things. But again, I don’t know why I said that. Because I don’t know how my life is going to go or what I’m going to do. But right now, I feel like it’s easier for me to write than it ever was.

...I’m not scared anymore to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic. And I’m sick of women not being able to say that they have strategic business minds — because male artists are allowed to. And so I’m sick and tired of having to pretend like I don’t mastermind my own business. But, it’s a different part of my brain than I use to write. [THIS IS AFTER SHE SAID DBATC WAS INSPIRED BY “SOMEONE GREAT” ON ELLEN]

You’ve been masterminding your business since you were a teenager.

Yeah, but I’ve also tried very hard — and this is one thing I regret — to convince people that I wasn’t the one holding the puppet strings of my marketing existence, or the fact that I sit in a conference room several times a week and come up with these ideas. I felt for a very long time that people don’t want to think of a woman in music who isn’t just a happy, talented accident. We’re all forced to kind of be like, “Aw, shucks, this happened again! We’re still doing well! Aw, that’s so great.” Alex Morgan celebrating scoring a goal at the World Cup and getting shit for it is a perfect example of why we’re not allowed to flaunt or celebrate, or reveal that, like, “Oh, yeah, it was me. I came up with this stuff.” I think it’s really unfair. People love new female artists so much because they’re able to explain that woman’s success. There’s an easy trajectory. Look at the Game of Thrones finale. I specifically really related to Daenerys’ storyline because for me it portrayed that it is a lot easier for a woman to attain power than to maintain it….for me, the times when I felt like I was going insane was when I was trying to maintain my career in the same way that I ascended. It’s easier to get power than to keep it. It’s easier to get acclaim than to keep it. It’s easier to get attention than to keep it….maybe this is a reflection on how we treat women in power, how we are totally going to conspire against them and tear at them until they feel this — this insane shift, where you wonder, like, “What changed?” And I’ve had that happen, like, 60 times in my career where I’m like, “OK, you liked me last year, what changed? I guess I’ll change so I can keep entertaining you guys….the question posed to me is, if you kept trying to do good things, but everyone saw those things in a cynical way and assumed them to be done with bad motivation and bad intent, would you still do good things, even though nothing that you did was looked at as good? And the answer is, yes. Criticism that’s constructive is helpful to my character growth. Baseless criticism is stuff I’ve got to toss out now….I’ve never been to therapy. I talk to my mom a lot, because my mom is the one who’s seen everything. God, it takes so long to download somebody on the last 29 years of my life, and my mom has seen it all. She knows exactly where I’m coming from. And we talk endlessly. There were times when I used to have really, really, really bad days where we would just be on the phone for hours and hours and hours. I’d write something that I wanted to say, and instead of posting it, I’d just read it to her.

the lyric in “Daylight,” the idea of “so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” — it’s a different kind of confession.

I am really glad you liked that line, because that’s something that does bother me, looking back at life and realizing that no matter what, you screw things up. Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore — and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it. I told the fans last night that sometimes on my bad days, I feel like my life is a pile of crap accumulated of only the bad headlines or the bad things that have happened, or the mistakes I’ve made or clichés or rumors or things that people think about me or have thought for the last 15 years. And that was part of the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, where I had a pile of literal old selves fighting each other. But, yeah, that line is indicative of my anxiety about how in life you can’t get everything right. A lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that. When it’s, like, 29 years’ worth. No one gets through it unscathed. No one gets through in one piece. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of people to grasp. I know it was hard for me, because I kind of grew up thinking, “If I’m nice, and if I try to do the right thing, you know, maybe I can just, like, ace this whole thing.” And it turns out I can’t.

It’s interesting to look at “I Did Something Bad” in this context.

You pointing that out is really interesting because it’s something I’ve had to reconcile within myself in the last couple of years — that sort of “good” complex. Because from the time I was a kid I’d try to be kind, be a good person. Try really hard. But you get walked all over sometimes. And how do you respond to being walked all over? You can’t just sit there and eat your salad and let it happen. “I Did Something Bad” was about doing something that was so against what I would usually do. ...a couple of years ago I started working on actually just responding to my emotions in a quicker fashion. And it’s really helped with stuff. It’s helped so much because sometimes you get in arguments. But conflict in the moment is so much better than combat after the fact.”(x)

Third secret session in LA Tuesday August 6th, 2019

Also does a livestream announcement

August 10 LA Party with YNTCD and ME! Costars #drunktaylor -purple nails

[dreadwhoop]

Reviewing the All Elite Wrestling personnel (Part 2)

Part 0 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631091725056835584/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part Part 1 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631092482075148288/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part

Wrestlers to Release

Let's start with an easy one. Chuck Taylor is damaged goods. Is he the worst wrestler? No. Is he unmarketable? Yes. What's his standing? Currently one of the top tag-teams in the company and personally ranked 8th in the overall scoring. Are you kidding me?! This guy makes you change the channel - bush league dime-a-dozen goof with bad gear, bad promos, and abyssmal credibility. The worst is how badly he holds Trent? back from being a break-out star. Eliminate this idiot.

Another popular choice for removal - he may be kind backstage but I never want him on TV. Carnie Hick. People constantly compare him to better wrestlers and the fact he was self-trained makes sense why he's so horrendous at fundementals, ring psychology, and stardom as a whole. We already have a 'Superbad' boy! This guy needs to go to a real school to learn the holes he's got and take every criticism to heart to return as a unique talent. Until then? Get rid of this glorified fan.

I finally have a legit reason among opinions - liability. Imagine if he took Matt Hardy's bump. He's not concussed. He's dead. What's more to say? This isn't a case like Riho in the women's division - Marko Stunt looks like the average untrained and out-of-shape wrestling fan could kick his scrawny ass. If you can't believe he'd kick your ass how can you believe he could kick the ass of any professional? He makes Rey Mysterio look like Andre the Giant. Toxic to this company - he doesn't deserve a single victory and I can't believe people can defend him beyond sympathy. He's a moron and attitudes of a child, gimmick or not, which makes people change the channel. Heel booked as face and a charity case. Same as Janela - go train and if he comes back then return dignified and not as a lost cause. Please stop leaning into the child-like persona and validating every criticism levied against you. THE FLOSS! !!CRINGE ALERT!!

AEW needs to get rid of their gimmick low-tier wrestlers. This isn't DDT or Chikara. This is national TV. If you want to keep Michael Nakazawa then I'm sure you're also happy with wrestling never being popular or you being called an idiot for watching it. This is their attempt at having a Toru Yano - a genuinely amusing comedy act who gets unexpected wins. The best thing he can do for talent is by not being involved at all. Considering AEW got rid of Jimmy Havoc for his real-life sexual misconduct, how the BTE YouTube show distanced itself from Joey Ryan, and the whole Jake/Brandi segment, it's unwise to have a wrestler whose main schtick is to joke about sexual assault and weaponise it.

I changed my mind and rules just this once for this guy - this friend of Tony Khan won't be released but every time he's on TV it's like releasing a wet fart into my face. He sucks! I can't believe how incapable he is at conducting interviews or even stringing complete sentences together. Why else would he be taken off commentary? The more you see someone else do his job in the same company the more you realise he has no place in the company. Dasha is a Buenos Días.

What a total failure. He's the modern day Billy Gunn and Billy is in the same company still wrestling! I mean it - Shawn Spears is the guy with a Million Dollar Body and a Ten Cent Brain. His manager has given up on him after he couldn't find a tag-partner, called Dustin a wash-up and then lost to him, and looks so stupid when he's with MJF running circles around him. Shawn Spears is a loser. A big loser. He's the embodiment of mid-card hell and he's a walking mid-life crisis. The only thing I can see even saving his career in AEW right now is if he teamed with Adam Page against FTR because it would be unexpected and interesting and would play into the whole 'Teambreaker' clause.

Where to even begin. The biggest indictment to her is how she was niche and needed when the women's roster had so few talents. Now it's growing she's shrinking in usefulness and we know her character or wrestling won't evolve - it's going to stay as bland and cliche as her looks and attitude. I hate she represents a stereotype and not a role model. She got over her disease? Good for her. She acting like she's hood-life and all? Change the channel.  

If you glanced at the Dark Order and saw John Silver, Alan Angels, and Stu Grayson, you may mistake one for the other. The difference though is John Silver has degenerated his value as a performer by being the absolute butt of every joke. The whole point of the Dark Order was to make people better so being a little servant and whipping boy is better than what he had before? Why isn't Alex Reynolds doing this? Oh it's because it's garbage. Fecal matter in the form of a human. I want 'long' John Silver to be 'long gone' Silver.

QT Marshall. So I say this name with reverence and think "wow this guy is going to light the world on fire?". Let's picture the scene - he's the hand-me-down MJF/Shaun Spears, teams with Dustin to get some starpower, and adopted DDP's move because he has nothing original to show. His entire arc is being a goofball tragic loser who got hair plugs and hangs with Allie...Allie, who incredibly has a better record than him! It's just bad bad bad throughout. Diet-Arn Anderson. He's not in the shadows he's just in the shade.

This will need a bit more explanation. Moxley is, at best, hit-or-miss with his promos and very specialist in his matches. AEW's executives have put a lot on him to see this company's growth and yet it feels since he beat Jericho it's been the opposite. Now you could blame the lockdown for this but it's an excuse. The truth is Moxley is always best being a chaser to the title not the title holder. Do I think he should be AEW Champion? Eventually, but this is AEW's biggest issue - they book for short-term gains and not long-term gains. The losses will be creeping in if his loyalties are questioned. When he loses the AEW championship, and the lockdown is over, he's jumping back to NJPW or WWE. Why would he want to elevate talent? He's not there for AEW he's there for himself and tell me I'm wrong. Everything about him was booked wrong - he should of never beaten Jericho, continued to chase for the title, had to deal with Hager, Brodie Lee, and then when Brian Cage became FTW Champion, go after this to make it a more legit title. The fact Moxley thinks he's Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, HHH, Cena, Lesnar, and Roddy Piper all in one, is a complete embaressment to the legends. He tries too hard and it shows. His wife not joining AEW is a bad omen for his loyalties. Mox is Pox - a parasite of every proportion and we've seen his type before play to the ruination of companies.

[zankivich]

A few honest questions: if you believe that Shawn is racist and is willfully surrounding himself with other racists, why not leave this fandom? Why reblog photos of him praising his appearance? Why use him as a face claim in your fanfiction? Why not devote your time and energy to someone else?

ayo these are wonderful and absolutely fair questions to ask. I wasn’t in a mental space to answer them when I initially asked this, and I’m still really not doing well but I guess I’ll give it a go anyway. I can understand how on the basis of a lot of my posts it may appear that I hate Shawn, or that I have some deep ill will for him. I think what’s important to recognize from my posts and my debates that I end up having with people is that I am usually stepping in to defend and rationalize hurt. Like all day on my dash I see white Stans attacking my black counterparts for genuine and deep hurt. The shit with Camilla, the shit with the tweets and the sweeping it under the rug, these are incidents of vulnerability for people. And the vast majority of you do not have the tact or the heart or the ability--I genuinely do not know which it is--to empathize with us, to sympathize with the pain of an artist that has brought you joy and pleasure situating themselves in anti-black rhetoric. And I know that I’m very privileged to be able to voice my opinion in a way that comes across articulate, in a way that many can understand, and that is not a privilege that I take likely. So, I do speak out. I speak out loudly and proudly and I fight for the ability for black people to feel emotions, because at the end of the day some of y’all really need to hear shit like that. And there are times that are absolutely random where I get PISSED. Where I get SAD. Where I get LIVID. And that is valid. There is no script for me that states that I have to hold onto those emotions 24/7 though. I am allowed to be absolutely pissed at Shawn for the shit he’s done, AND I am allowed to continue to support him. These two things aren’t mutually exclusive. And while I can understand why it might be a difficult concept to understand how those two things can exist right next to each other, I truly do find myself in that head space. Please let me try and explain why. 

My studies in university and my life experience and my understanding of the creation of whiteness and thus the creation of a hierarchy of race in which white supremacy becomes the dominant ideology for essentially all of culture (and please really think about this and revel in this because it is not a matter of opinion here. This one is just simply a fact) tells me that all white people are born into white supremacy. This is not something that can be helped. This is not something that they ask for. But our world and our societal discourse has historically, and continues to as well, perpetuated the understanding that white people are superior, are God-lier, are smarter, are more moral, are more intelligent, etc. etc. And I don’t mean to give you a critical race theory lesson, but I ask that you understand what this looks like in practice. It means that all white people are racist because they are born into a society that creates them to be. (and this is a startling concept and it’s not necessarily popular in the larger discourse) And so I actually believe that to use the word racism anymore to describe what are actually perpetuations of the white supremacist agenda that is again engraved into the very fabric of our nation and our world, isn’t actually a meaningful use of the word anymore. It means nothing for me to say you’re being racist, because lowkey you are probably being racist on a daily basis just from the culture alone. What is actually probably more useful, at least in my opinion is to determine what are acts of terror or violence, and then what are the more minute day-to-day acts of aggression that perhaps can be moments of opportunity for growth and education. It is a lot more complicated than this, and there is so much grey area but this is the way in which I kind of situate it in my mind. 

Essentially what I think is that Shawn is racist. Shawn is racist in the way that Justin Bieber was racist when I stanned for him, in the way that Jesse McCartney was before that, in the way that Ariana is, or Harry Styles, or Taylor Swift, or literally any white fave that one might have. What I as a black person have to decide, and have to wrestle with on a daily basis, is the distinction between the assimilation into a racist society that prioritizes whiteness above all else, and a deeper more vile attack against my humanity. So Shawn said the n-word years back and gave a really shitty apology for it. But, does he support policy that goes against my ability to live. (This is where for me there’s a difference between someone like Shawn and someone like Stirling for example). Does he actively participate in discourse that negatively impacts my livelihood or other black people’s livelihoods? So, yes he’s racist but did he in a sense create a culture within his own fandom to viciously attack and dehumanize a black woman every second of every day continuously (and yes this is a direct comment towards Camilla, bite me) These aren’t easy decisions to make, and my decision is gonna be different from one person’s decision to the next and so on and so forth. 

Ultimately for me there is still a really deep connection to Shawn on the basis of music. His music and his energy around music make me feel a way that is comforting, that is uplifting, that makes me happy. And that is worth it to me in this particular moment, which is not to say that it might not change one day. But it is also worth it to call him out on his behavior, to push him a direction of social justice and equity. I LOVE writing for Shawn because I get asks on a daily basis saying that people had literally never thought they would read a story where someone like him could love a fat woman. A black woman. Can you imagine that? That before I started writing there were people who thought these stories would never exist? I believe deeply in the humanity of people and I care so deeply about those around me that it is engraved into every fiber of my being. I want to educate. I want to destroy the status quo. I want to elevate us to a better place, because I think we deserve it. I think Shawn deserves it. I think Black women deserve it. I think we all deserve that shit. And honestly stepping into white dominate spaces is the exact place where the discourse has to change, and the conversations have to be had. So, I’m here. For now. And I really enjoy the content that I create and the people I create that content for. And I genuinely do really still enjoy Shawn. But please don’t ever ask me to separate my experience as a human being from being a fan of blind negligence and unwavering support. I can’t do that. I won’t. And I don’t think Shawn, or anyone else deserves that tbh. 

This feels like an inadequate attempt to answer your questions and maybe you got bored and left already. But I hope It makes a little more sense. I really did try. Thank you for your honesty. I hope you can accept mine as well. Have a lovely day. 

[yousignedupforthis]

another hot take but you just can’t always be like ‘oh we might not have all the information’ and withhold criticism indefinitely. you can’t just ALWAYS assume ‘if my fave is doing something i don’t like, there must be a reason for it and therefore i shouldn’t criticise’. according to that logic that person can do NO wrong, no matter what, and that must mean the logic is flawed because no human is perfect.

If it turns out something really tragic was going on in taylor’s life then I hope everyone understands her actions and returns to their full good opinion of her or whatever, and realises that given the new information/context some of the things they said were unfair. BUT it wouldn’t change the fact that those things people said were fair and valid conclusions to draw and criticisms to make at the time, given the information that we had.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Doug Walker’s The Wall

You know, I thought that nothing could harm the Nostalgia Critic’s career after he survived the whole #ChangeTheChannel fiasco. I thought Doug Walker would be able to survive anything. I thought the Nostalgia Critic could never sink that low again.

I was wrong.

The latest review by Doug Walker is, in fact, not a review – it is a full-on parody musical that lampoons Pink Floyd’s The Wall. But lampooning is probably a bit too kind; this lampoons its subject matter in a way that would make Seltzer and Friedberg blush. This is pretty much the nadir of parody right here, there’s no getting around it.

In short: This fucking sucks. But leaving it short isn’t any fun, now is it? Why does this suck?

Well, for one, Doug seems to have absolutely no understanding of the subject matter, despite claiming to love it. He makes the most third-grade observations, like “It’s BORING!” or “It’s PRETENTIOUS!” but literally none of these criticisms hold any sort of water or weight because everything is being sung in piss-poor parodies of Pink Floyd songs. Despite Doug’s claims that this is all meant to be a loving tribute, it comes off more as what someone who just utterly hates Pink Floyd’s music would say the music sounds like. I think perhaps the worst ‘criticism’ of all is when he calls one of the songs “Oscar-bait”… you know, despite the movie being based on an album, not the other way around. The song wasn’t made for the movie, the movie was made for the song.

The music is just downrtight awful as well. The reinterpretations of the original instrumentals are soulless and disgusting, Doug and everyone else in this can’t sing for shit, and the lyrics are just vapid non-criticisms or observations a grade schooler would make. Then there’s getting Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor to star. He can’t act for shit, and despite being a famous musician with demonstrable talent in his field… he never once sings. Well, he does sing once, but it’s the SpongeBob theme for some reason. Maybe this is a sly allusion to the widely-hated SpongeBob special “Atlantis Squarepantis,” where they got David Bowie to play the king of Atlantis and, despite the episode being a musical, never have him sing. Of course, I think that’s a bit too cerebral for Doug, so probably not; it’s just an accidental comparison to a vastly superior piece of media I can make. And yes, “Atlantis Squarepantis” is a piece of shit, but it’s still better than this.

Another big flaw is the absolutely shitty production value. One of the reasons The Wall is so great is because it has incredible production value, incredible animation… and all of that is absent here. This has some of the most mind-numbingly awful animation on the internet, with crappy CGI and stock video effects coexisting and congealing into a fetid pool of garbage. And that’s not even getting into the god-awful animation for the freaky monster that is existing as a tribute to the wonderfully deranged animation from the beloved trial sequence; in fact, I’m pretty sure that the entire trial segment in this video is nothing but an excuse to show off a bunch of furry OCs, because there is no other discernible rhyme or reason to anything being shown onscreen.

There’s also the way this whole thing where he seems to be… modernizing the whole album? Like aside from adding his insults to the work of Pink Floyd to the songs, a lot of the imagery he’s throwing into this is just really bad, shallow, and nonsensical. And of course, there’s something really tacky and tasteless about trying to update a very personal, slightly biographical work that is filled with cultural context that Doug just constantly ignores. Perhaps the worst such moment is the chants of “HASHTAG” in one of the songs, but then it just hits you with the goose-stepping phones right after and frankly that takes the cake.

I think the worst part of all of this is Doug’s sheer delusions of grandeur. Look at the way he talks about the album during the commercial break, blatantly lying and calling it a “love-letter” as well as saying it’s “great stuff” when it just so clearly ISN’T. The music is awful and lifeless, Doug just can’t sing for shit, the whole thing is so bitter and meanspirited… And then there’s just the sheer audacity of this man who is standing in front of framed pictures of his own movies, his big YouTube subscriber count award thing on the wall behind him, calling this movie pretentious, egocentric, and up its own ass. This movie is like the physical embodiment of a lack of self awareness.

And you know what? Maybe all of this wouldn’t be so bad if there was any actual reviewing in this. The entire review is like two lines at the end of the video. Two lines that are preceded by a shitty stock video effect.  This is a monument to Doug’s sins. This is his egomania in its purest, most unadulterated form. The fact he actually wrote Corey Taylor pointing out that he needs to review a movie in a movie review and then proceeds to not do that and just lead into a nonsensical reference is just… insulting. Doug wastes nearly forty minutes of your life, insulted you, and refused to give any insightful or valid criticisms. And this is a guy you are ostensibly watching for his opinions and critiques of films in between the comedy, and he can give good insight, especially in his more down-to-earth reviews, so it baffles me even more why he would think it is a good idea to eschew analysis of one of the most symbolic films ever made just to do a shitty Disaster Movie-quality parody album.

I think what’s so strange is how I have no idea who this video is supposed to be appealing to. Pink Floyd fans will hate it, people who like music will hate it, people who like Doug’s reviews will hate it… there’s literally no one I can see enjoying this video in any sense, not even an ironic one. Maybe if you’re a hardcore furry who wanted more fursonas in The Wall you’ll enjoy it, but you have to get through half an hour of Doug’s shitty singing to hear it and then you have to sit through the worst animation this side of Doogal. It’s not worth it. Just go to e621 and beat off, it’s a better and less shameful time than watching through this fucking trainwreck.

Fuck you for this, Doug. If this was your passion project, it’s pretty clear to me your passion is best focused elsewhere, because if you really did put your all into this your all is worth absolutely nothing. This is insulting, embarrassing, and downright pathetic. I have never felt so much secondhand embarrassment for another human being in my life than I did watching this. I’m a man who can find something to love in some really crappy movies, but god fucking dammit, this is beyond me. Doug Walker deserves every ounce of hatred and scorn he gets for this video. It is, without a doubt in my mind, the single worst piece of film of this entire year, and perhaps the single worst video on YouTube’s website. It certainly deserves that “honor” more than some goofy pop song by a teenager ever did.

Oh hey, maybe I should end this review on an ambiguous, nonsensical, open ended note like Doug did, because apparently that’s what GOOD reviewers do! Here’s the baby from Eraserhead.

Fuck you Doug.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Like many other Gaylors, I'm fascinated with Taymily from a historical perspective. We know so little about it compared to Swiftgron and Kaylor, and wondering about which Fearless and Speak Now songs may be about Emily drives me mad with curiosity! However, I admittedly feel a little unconventional when people talk about Taymily without critically noting some things. First of all, I've heard from some people that Emily had a guy at home while touring with Taylor. (2/3)

I’m all for people exploring their sexuality, and Isupport open relationships as long as they’re honest and healthy, but if Emilyreally did cheat on a partner at home that’s not cool! Secondly, I feel alittle uneasy about Taymily because of the age gap between Taylor and Emily.Taylor was 16/17 when she dated Emily, and Emily was 21. I’m 17 now, and I’dfeel really creeped out if somebody older than 19 tried to start a romanticrelationship with me.

I don’t doubt that Taylor used to be very mature forher age as a teenager, but no matter how intelligent or wise you are as achild, an adult is still in an entirely different ballpark! There’s also thefact that as somebody way more experienced in the music industry, Emily wasprobably way more knowledgeable than Taylor about what a closeted relationshipwould entail. Taking that into account, I can’t help but feel sorry for Taylor.Emily left her when she was barely of legal age!

I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for Taylorwhen Emily decided as a fully-fledged adult that being in a gay relationshipwasn’t in her best interests after all, and that she’d rather have ‘a husbandand kids’. I don’t think Emily is an evil person or anything, but I reallycan’t ignore the power of position she was in this context. Do you get what Imean? (Also please just ignore my divisions now they’re a mess sksksksk I’msorry)

I hope I don’t sound accusatory in these asks, becauseI’m still as fascinated with Taymily as other Gaylors, and I’m not mad or angryat anybody for being interested in them. But I feel like it’s important to notethat Taymily may have been a bit ethically murky at the time, and that therelationship may have not been ideal or healthy. What do you think? I’m sorryfor spamming your inbox, and I hope this doesn’t annoy you ;-; Thanks forhearing me out!

–

Hello dear!

First of all you make a lot of valid points here and don’t sound accusatory at all, I think it’s really important to have conversations like this. Secondly don’t apologize for the divisions and the length, figuring out how much text fits into a tumblr ask is a serious pain and you are not annoying at all, I love getting long asks like this! Lastly, I hope that this ask is the first and not in fact the second one of all that you sent, because if the division on this one is correct I’m afraid I didn’t receive the first one.

Also sorry in advance if my response makes no sense it became somewhat messy at times…

Now for your points:

 Itseems Emily did have a guy back homeat some point, which I’m basing off of this comment by Taylor, astatement that she allegedly dropped when introducing Emily during the rest ofthe shows, causing some Gaylors to assume perhaps Emily broke up with the dudeonce she fell for Taylor and thus didn’t cheat on anyone, at least not for theentire duration of her relationship with Taylor (not that any cheating, nomatter how brief is okay, of course.) Although I can admit that the “whathappens in L.A stays here” is reminiscent of cheating, which noooo Tay!

According to thisarticle though, Emily married a dude she was friends with in high school, perhaps giving the impression to somethat she had been with him the whole time including her time with Tay, but thearticle makes sure to point out that they reconnected after Emily returned home having left her position in Taylor’sband.

Of course the boyfriend mentioned by Taylor inthat clip could have been a different man from the one Emily ended up marrying,but since Taylor dropped the “Emily-has a boyfriend”-part of her introduction Ithink it’s relatively safe to assume Emily was single for the majority of hertime working for Taylor.  OR the more funpossibility is that Taylor herself is the “boyfriend” mentioned in theintroduction and she’s just messing around, implicitly warning people not tohit on her girl :P I guess we will never know for how long (if at all) Emilyhad a boyfriend while being with Taylor, but I hope everyone broke up witheveryone else before entering a different relationship of course, regardless I thinkit’s safe to assume Emily is bisexual and might have been figuring that outduring her time with Taylor. (Not that bisexual people cheat or that figuringout your sexuality makes cheating okay in any way, just wanted to point out thefact that she’s most likely bi)

 Inall honesty the older I get the more uneasy I become with the age gap too, I firstdiscovered Taymily when I myself was 16 and at the time I had several friendsmy age who were all dating people in their early 20’s so I suppose in my socialcircles at that time that age gap didn’t seem too significant. Although Now I’m23, about a year-ish older than Emily was when she first started going out withTay and let me tell you, I would personally feel incredibly uncomfortabledating a 16-17 old at this point in my life and do now consider that age gap verysignificant.

I agree that Taylor has likely always been avery mature and wise-beyond-her-years sort of person, but that still mostdefinitely doesn’t make someone over 18 dating her at 16-17 okay, like you say, it’s anentirely different ballpark.

To be somewhat fair though, I do not thinkEmily was more experienced in the industry than Taylor, actually I think itmight have been the other way around, see Taylor had been writing songs in atleast a semi-professional setting since age 13 or so, Emily just applied to thepoison of fiddle player for The Agency (not yet called that at that time)straight out of college where she to my understanding had been studyingsomething unrelated to music, I don’t think she’d been doing music in such aprofessional sense before joining Team Taylor. 

Iwant to state before I continue that I am not defending Emily the adult’s decision to enter a relationshipwith a minor, but I can imagine thatliving in such close courters and being on the road trying to figure thismusic-industry thing out must lend itself pretty well for unexpected  things to happen between people and I do notthink either of the two planned to fall for each other. Was it inadvisable andunprofessional and like you say a little ethically murky? Most definitely, butit did happen regardless of anyone’s intentions, just as things in life tendto.

 I do feel like had Emily stopped to reflect on the decision she would’ve mostlikely come to the conclusion that a relationship with Taylor wasn’t the bestidea from an image or closeting standpoint, but I do not think either of themwere prepared for the pushback their relationship would receive from managementand I do believe the Emily’s forced dismissal was out of both of their handsand it likely wasn’t Emily’s intention to leave so abruptly.  That being said I do think Taylor held on tohope that they’d be able to be together romantically regardless of the firingand I do think Emily shot her down there. Without a question it would have beenEmily’s responsibility as an adult to look at their relationship more clearlythan Taylor could and I agree with you that choosing not to do so most likelyput Emily in a power position that is indeed hard to ignore!

 Asfor Emily’s comments about leaving Taylor because she “wanted a husband andkids” that does strike me as some powerful internalized homophobia which makesme sad (Em, gay people can have those things too but okayyyyy) And I too oftenthink about how upsetting and borderline traumatic the whole experience ofthe firing, vigorous closeting by management and breakup that followed that must have been for Taylor as a teenager. I do think that’s the reason we gotso many heartbreaking songs (such as All Too Well) where it does appear she’sworking through some serious life-altering trauma related to her love life andalso by extension all of the bearding and closeting that followed all of this.

As mylast point I just want to make absolutely clear that this is all speculation asto what happened between Taylor and Emily and how their relationship playedout, we will never know the facts. Furthermore, we all know that I am Taymily trash and will continue to enjoy this ship to the day I die, but this is a super important conversationto have as we continue to explore Taymily and other of Taylor’s relationshipsin an analytic light!

Thankyou so much for these asks, anon! 😊😊😊

[whereimfeminine]

Which fandom, her fandom or this one?

oh, i meant the taylor fandom! i’m careful to follow pretty chill harry folks nowadays hah. i’ve been frustrated w the taylor fandom because like, okay i get not wantign to be negative all the time and i generally try to avoid endless criticism (i try to use this hellsite as an escape from the discourse that is my Life). but if there’s one thing the taylor swift fandom loves its discourse, oh my god. like they discourse about EVERYTHING. and yet w basically every taylor blog i’ve seen about YNTCD, it’s not just that there’s been no willingness to engage with the fact that there are some valid reasons to be critical of the video/song. it’s that i’ve seen posts literally saying that any criticism of the video is rooted in just Hating Taylor Swift/homophobia/both. It’s just been kinda wild to me. Like I finallyyyy saw a couple chirps about the classism element of the protesters (as in, i saw like one person talk about it), but still this mass insistence that the broader video Must Be Good. 

I’d get it if it was a matter of you dont want downers all the time, especially about something you enjoy (i often am one of them), and if you don’t wanna post thinkpieces on your blog and just want to enjoy something, go for it! that’s just not what i’ve seen-- people ARE engaging in discourse about the video, but only.. defensively, i guess? (defensive discourse, it’s a technical term. sdjklfds). like thinkpieces about how perfect the video is, how bad it is to be at all critical of it, etc. i never in my life thought i’d see the day where i wanted More criticism lmao but hey here we are. so ya, all this has made me feel even more disconnected from the fandom, from the song, etc. in part because i’m just not here for being made to feel like a ~bad fan~ because im not willing to say all of taylor’s work at allyship towards my community is Perfect. so anyways, here’s an essay in response to your question that called for a two word reply. and as always, this isn’t meant to be an indirect at anyone, it’s just broader things i’ve been observing 

[queerjunhui]

Ok so I saw your post about kpop female artists and I was so excited to see that your blog title is Taylor Swift so we’re like both in the same fandoms but like all female artists are held to a higher standard and they perform and practice on their periods and are expected to be cute and docile and I love how they’re all so resilient and persistent in achieving their goals and dreams you know? I have a list of female artists on my kpop blog @senoritagidle! It’s awesome you’re writing about this!

HEY!!! Thank you so much for answering!!!! Yes, i am a huge Taylor swift fan (you have no idea how huge kshjdfkjsd) :3I’m gonna check that list! I’m writing this article for my Korean wave Spanish blog because I am tired of always listening the same critics about girl groups and as a feminist and someone who studies Korean society dynamics, the issue of girl groups is important to me. 

Okay long answer ahead!

I have liked kpop and korean wave for 10 years now. And I have always stan male groups more than girl groups but I have always have this position where I feel like we all should stan girl groups and that there’s a girl group for you out there no matter what your music tastes are. I feel like female kpop fans should stop putting excuses for their some most of times sexism towards girl groups. girls are trashed for everything. Like not talking abt gg but females in general, we get trashed for everything all the time and you can clearly see it when it comes to gg and female artists. Women are being criticized for the minimal things, gg and female artists are being criticized for the minimal things. Things men can do freely. Thing male idols can do and be praised for it. And the fact that female kpop fans put gg and female artist down all the time for these things is so frustrating to me. Seeing female fans criticizing things that just plain don’t make sense to criticized is something that gets on my nerves. AND WORSE is seeing this “I support this female artist because she is a bad ass but I criticized female artists that have cute concepts or don’t stand against korean standards”. that hypocrite position is so damn wrong like I never see this kind of behavior and criticism against male idols. 

(2) My list is really too long to list because they’re so many talented female groups and soloists! But just their dedication to singing rapping and dancing and how long they train to become an idol and even then they don’t get paid much because of their companies and having to pay back their debt from training as well as the having to not date and foreigner idols not getting to see their families it must be tough to be in the public eye and training so hard and having to agree to slave contracts

(3) Like not being able to date and having to have a certain image and act a certain way for the groups image and not being able to see family and get ripped off by their companies and foreign idols especially getting paid less but they all do it because they’re passionate about being an idol and doing it for their fans I think female artists in particular have to deal with a lot more scrutiny and that really sucks but they all are determined to be an idol and that’s really inspirational for me

(4) Also I’m sorry for the really long asks but I had a lot to get out and still couldn’t really say everything because of the character limit on asks but I’d love to talk to you about it and I’m able to give examples about everything with foreigner idols and dating bans and everything because it’s really cool that you’re writing about it I wish I was given an assignment like that because it’s something I’m passionate about like just how hard they work in general and the challenges they face

There’s in fact too many kpop groups. And yes, there’s just as many talented female artists and gg as there are male artists and boy groups. All these things you mentioned are done by male idols too, they’re also dedicated and they have slaves contracts too. The difference is, (and it’s what i want female kpop fans to understand) is that it is harder to do that as a woman. You have to put up with a lot of shit males don’t. Like the world around us. We, as women, have to put up with a lot of shit males don’t. It applied for female artists and gg too. But instead of recognizing females groups for their struggles,(ALL FEMALE GROUPS, not only these with “bad ass” concepts)female kpop stans criticized them and complain about them. “This has plastic surgery, this one has a too short skirt, this one doesn’t sing live, this one sings live but her voice is too annoying.”

Instead of praising females for their hard work, female kpop stans always make excuses to “not like girl groups”. Women know is hard for women. Harder than it is for males. This world was designed by males for them. And the fact that we are aware of all the difficulties females go through around us AND STILL think girl groups have it easy is something i can’t stand anymore. female artists have to deal with a lot of more scrutiny, just as we, non-celebrities women have to. I remember how Irene was trashed for reading a feminism novel, and these were his male fans, she had to put up with men criticizing her for reading something, and still, she has to put up with women criticizing her job, her voice, her dance, her choice of life basically. Some of the excuses are “gg voices are too high, too annoying” and I’m like HELLO? THEY’RE WOMEN; we , biologically have higher voices that men: when have you seen someone criticizing a male idol for having a “too deep” voice? It doesn’t make sense. The fact that females are always being criticized for being “too skinny” and “fitting standars” and how all these sacrifices they made to fulfill their dreams are not taken in consideration. How can we praise a female idol that says “she is making her own standards” but criticize a female idol that have to eat ice for a week because she had to lose weight or she wasn’t going to debut. Both of them are equally valid and inspiring. You can identified with one but you have no right and should criticize the other for the way they’re trying to fulfill their dreams.  

For me, females are always inspiring me; these around me and those celebrities I stan. And in kpop there’s so many examples of women you can get inspiration from. kpop stans just have to understand it. it is possible to like gg and to find a gg for you; but most important, respecting gg and female artists is a must. 

Thank you so much for taking your time to send these. I’m going to DM you right away because there’s a lot of more things we could talk!! thank youuuuuuuuu!!!

[chaseagainstonision]

I just wanna cover this for a bit. The screenshots from the Discord server are as follows: post 1 post 2 post 3 post 4 Full disclosure that I am the user Broke: pls subscrib and that our mods are the users who's names are in red. Also, I know that I've talked about this so much in my gender tag, so most of you have prob'ly seen this argument before. For the first image: It's not about being strictly being anti-onision or anti-taylor. That's not exactly how the server works. We can talk about how shitty they are and the things about them. That's what the anti-onision and the anti-taylor channels are for. We can also criticize them an not have an intence dislike for one or the other (like be okay with Taylor and not okay with Gerg, for example). The whole reasons that you were muted was because you were being incredible ruse and were going to invalidate other people becuase of their gender by saying "if it is allowed to be, i will start analyzing everyone's gender in the server." I only said that it was fine by me because it seemed that you were going to do it regardless of any sort of consensus. And I figure, if you attack me, you're leaving the rest of the server alone. But we're not out here attackign your gender identity, so I have no idea why you got incredibly defensive. When I talk about Taylor's gender issues, I'm only referencing it in regard to them. That's it. Not you, not anyone else. I'm not out here toquestion the validity of your gender or anyone else's gender aside from Taylor's, and for good reason. It's not like I'm purposely misgendering them, either, as I go out of my way to use the proper pronouns, even if I doubt their gender identity. But the reasons I do question their gender is 1) it one of the only things that they talk about 2) they make it their whole personality where that's all they are is their gender and that's it 3) their stance on gender dysphoria and their attempt to backpeddle 4) the fact that they are so against being called feminine and what have you while doing traditionally feminine things and wearing traditionally feminine things (not that, in general, there's anything wrong with that, just their unwillingness to admit they like feminine things) 5) claim that they have basically cripling dysphoria, but run around in videos and what not half naked and showing off their body (then taking the time to edit said videos) 6) Gerg's influence over them and him pushing them into other situations that they initially didn't want to be in and then renaming them (which I have made very clear that A] he renames his partners a lot, regardless of gender and B] it's incredibly uncomfortable for me), which is possible he pushed them into this, too 7) They have and still do weaponize their pronouns when people use the wrong ones, especially if it's a detractor 8) their refusial to go to a doctor and start hormones, stating that they don't want male body hair (darker leg hair, facial hair, etc) or to look explicitly male via hormones and/or getting surgery and I really can just keep listing reasons at this point. It's not really that you were being sarcastic. People are sarcastic in the server all the time. But, the fact that you called all of us "sensitive" because one of the mod put you in a time out? All becuase you were being rude to the rest of us in the server? Nah, man, that's not how this works. It's more about the fact that, whenever the issue about Taylor's gender comes up, we all talk about it in a civil maner and eventually agree to disagree while you just kept stirring up conflict about it. We're not out here to invalidate anyone. I've let this be known countless times. A lot of us in the community are some stripe of LGBT+. I, myself, am genderfluid and bi/pan. Most, if not all of us know what it's like to be invalidated or misgendered or what have you. You trying to take this weird moral high ground isn't doing you any favors. We're all pretty accepting people in regard to sexuality and gender. It's just that there comes a time where someone does something that you start to think on and question and that's where the debate over Taylor's gender comes in at because there are a ton of red flags everywhere. And I know that I've talked about this before, too, but if you're trans (like, trans trans and not just nonbinary, because there are differences in transitioning/not transitioning), you should transition and have dysphoria. Taylor claims to be trans (transmasc as of recently) but has said in the past that they're only really bothered that they're chest got bigger and their hips got wider (that's all due to having two kids). A simple fix for that would to at least get a breast reduction. Them saying that alone makes me believe that they just have body dismophia and not gender dysphoria. Because when I'm going through dysphoria, I wanna just rip my tits off and hate that I have a vagina. Taylor seemingly doesn't have those feelings, just generally going through what most people go through when they hate parts of their body. So no, it's not that no one has the right to analyze someone else's gender. It's that, in certain cases, there's a cause for debating someone's gender for the very reasons that I have stated above. For the second image: I don't have all of the conversation for this (since op blocked whoever they were talking to), but I will answer what I can see. I feel that people can comment on any post that is posted to a public forum. This site is basically a public forum and allows other users to post/reply on whatever posts they want. To sit and say that peopel can't comment is ridiculous. But most of the people commenting know what transphobia is, so this elitism is stupid. I already stated this above. Any time that you have come in to comment, you've started something. It's not that we're sensitive, trust me. We can engage in civil discussion about "hot button" issues and not have a huge problem. We've done it before since Taylor's gender is, indeed, a hot button issue. But I'll just leave it here for this image For the third image: That's... kinda the point? To showcase someone who is bringing in drama, most people won't censor out that name. Plus, both on Discord and here, you have the same user icon. Most of us already have false usernames, anyway, so what does it matter? My actual username on Discord is ChaseArts, anyway, but it's not like someone is going out of their way to doxx you or something. Just exposing what had happened in the server. Why would Gerg shit talk himself, lmao. That's got to be the dumbest theory that I have ever heard. If it were Gerg, he wouldn't willingly let a bunch of his detractors into his server, let alone to shit talk him and his spouse. Anyway, who has compared you to Gerg? That's a dumb comparison, too, honestly. But it's not that you were right and we were wrong. It's not an objective sort of thing. It's people opinions and you got way to salty and took it personally, for some reason. You were put in time out because you were stirring the pot. The mods were doing their job. The same woud happen if you were on another server with several mods, though I'm not certain if they would just put you in time out of just boot you completely.