#as an actual retro game fan who remembers what it was like

[medakakurokami]

[elbiotipo]

So when it comes to distance in a fictional setting, is metric king? I wrote some fantasy post-apoc recently where the protagonist measured it in Oranges and Aevums (the latter being their own name), but more generally speaking is it worth it to hash out bespoke measurement systems for fictional cultures, do you think?

Oranges as a measurement unit sounds so funny, and a measurement based in... yourself makes surprising sense, given all the measurements based on body parts. Why not YOURSELF?

Well, I would think in a real post-apoc world metric would be king indeed, scientific and technologic instruments are in metric even in the US and you could always get a ruler from a school or scales from a grocery store, so eventually you could get back on track to reforming the metric system. It would be interesting, though, if every society during isolation had slightly different measurements for the same units because of faulty equipment (say, ohms or amperes or even grays) and they had to make a congress to clear things up.

Returning to your main question. My perspective here is the same as conlangs. It's very, very fun to have them, but it's not fun to force your audience to read them. When I write something set in a fantasy or science fiction setting, in my head I'm assuming the characters are speaking different languages and I DO explain them and even give examples of them, but the story itself is written, for both the reader's and the writer convenience, in a language we can understand (Spanish in my case, and then it can be translated). Same with units of measurement. I seldom use direct units of measurement like writing "the ship was 110.3 meters long" (in science fiction, it's often a trap as they force you to stay true to them), when more descriptive language can be used...

In any case, you could do, for the kind of immersion I love, say something like "she was 14 oranges* tall, rather small for her age" and do an asterisk like "*A.N. : 1.39 meters tall". This is very fun when used sparingly, because it gives the worldbuilding obessed reader something to play with, you can do the conversion yourself and learn more about the world, without interrupting the story. Some understandably dislike this approach, but I think that if you know what you're doing, you can hide some pretty deep lore behind it. In one of my favorite retro games, The Ur-Quan Masters, there is an alien race called the Slylandro who live in a gas giant. When they tell you their ancient history, they use their own system of measurment based on the rotation of their planet with its own names like Dranhasa and Dranh. The game actually provides you with the rotation time on "Earth" time, so some dedicated fans did the conversion, and found out the dates fit with major events in the game's past. I thought that was an awesome bit.

But I digress again. Does this mean you should not talk about measurements in your story? No, it can do for very fun plots and digressions, as well as make things more realistic and beliveable. A fantasy world sharing all the same measurement units can be as unplausible as everybody speaking "Common". Let's remember that the current metric system is a modern invention which took a long time to be adopted (and some, well one, country, still resists it). Just take a look at the many, many historical systems of measurement:

This was especially prominent in places like the Holy Roman Empire, where every statelet, county, principality, free city, prince-bishopric, duchy, archduchy, etc. may and most often did have different measurements from each other. Just take a look at how measurements varied from each German region, it's crazy. The systems of weight where particularily important. Before the introduction of standarized coinage, coins also varied not only between kingdoms, but between regions, and even towns, and coins made at different times with different alloys had different values. Rather than money in our modern sense, you could think of them as some kind of 'asset' that could vary in value depending on the circumstances. What's more, those values had to be checked by people who knew what they were working with. Silver and gold content could be weighed, ah, but you need good scales and weights, and someone who knows how to work them! And these people could easily rip you off, or you could lose value accidentally if those scales weren't done just right or fiddled with on purpose. In fact, this is where the word 'Mark' comes from.

It wasn't as easy to take say a 100 something bill and get the change in 1 something coins. There is a very interesting subplot in the anime Spice and Wolf where Lawrence, the trader character, has been paid in gold coins, and he has to trade them into lesser denominations. However, he has to be REAL careful so that nobody scams him given all I told you above. Even getting 'gold' coins was a gamble before modern coinage and banking (another long topic). How much of that is REALLY gold and not an alloy with silver or other metal? Who can you trust to tell you how much your coins are worth? Are they compatible between borders or even time, is this version worth as much as the others? Things that characters in fantasy who have just plundered a dragon's hoard almost never think about. Except in Spice and Wolf.

(here is a gif of Holo to break the wall of text)

This all of course, as again you can see in Spice and Wolf, can make trade very tedious and even unstable. This was one of the reasons why the metric system was so quickly adopted in Europe and then elsewhere; consistent units just allow for easier trade. Lots of other things involving measurement can have a major impact on your story. For one, you NEED consistent and accurate measurement to create even the most basic industrial and scientific equipment. You can wing it for a time like alchemists (and even they knew their measurements) but eventually, you need to measure things to understand them. To have working steam engines, steel production, chemical industries and more, you need to know your temperature is. If you want to do electricity, you need measurements for current, resistance and charge. If you're doing engineering, you need to have lenght, weight and volume very, very clear, or people will die. They don't necessarily need to be universal like the metric system (though it has lots of advantages, being coherent between units and decimal so it doesn't jump between different denominations) but they need to be standarized and measurable.

Most of the above, unless you're writing some kind of encyclopedia about a fictional scientific revolution (BASED BASED BASED) will not affect your characters directly. But IT IS worth keeping in mind for what kind of world your characters are living in. The standarization of measurement units always means SOMETHING in the state of your society, the strenght of the state and centralized authority, the state of scientific understanding (one could say that trying to measure the world was perhaps THE scientific revolution, "Man as a measure of all things"), the capability for industry and the standarization of coinage and trade.

Even if you don't have your characters interact directly with those things, they will interact with them. It's also, like I've said in the examples, fun to imagine characters having to learn or deal with different units of measurement, just as it is fun to imagine them learning new languages or cultural quirks. It's something I've done in the past, in my space opera setting, the worlds descended from the United States STILL use the imperial system, much to the frustration of the rest of the metric human sphere. There is also an alien character who has a hard time to learn human measurements, and that makes her melancholic about her past, as they can't intuitively see the now-extinct measurements she does. Again, man as a measure of all things... this does include other thinking beings...

There's more I could talk about here regarding time, but I did a post about that, though I'm not satisfied with it and will probably redo it in some time at the future. In any case, there's lot to talk about why every calendar in science fiction has 365 days and 24 hours.

As always, if you found this interesting and helpful, I would be very thankful if you gave a tip to my ko-fi! And feel free to ask about anything you'd like!

[crimsondestroyer]

👋Tell me about Zampanio

OKAY. so. (unreality tw)

i've explained this before in an old post but i am always up to ramble about this more lmao (also idk where the old post is, it was pinned for a while but has since been Buried)

back in like. i forgor exactly when, the 70s-80s? there was SUPPOSEDLY this weird old retro game called zampanio

what is it? what's it about? how does it play? who knows lmao

descriptions of it are wildly different and wildly inconsistent beyond a few core themes, and apparently have a tendency to delete themselves? idk it's weird

is zampanio even real? doubt it!

but! people still make fan-works of it

and now there's like. this weird self-perpetuating spiral of zampanio fanfiction where there is no original source material so people just make stuff based on other stuff based on other stuff

basically anything can be a zampanio fan-work (usually called a "branch" since there isn't really an original source material for it all to be fan-works of)

people have made zampanio branches in all sorts of different fandoms

it's magnus archives and it's homestuck and it's rain world and it's animorphs and it's mario & luigi and it's undertale and it's basically anything you want it to be

and basically the only things tying most of them together are occasional references between specific ones like recurring characters, and a few general overarching themes of obsession and stuff

it's kind of like goncharov

except it actually PREDATES goncharov (like, i'm in a zampanio discord server which has existed since before goncharov was a thing and i remember how funny everyone thought it was when Zampanio But Mafia Movie became a main-stream meme lmao)

it's very fun interacting with the community, it's pretty small but they've made some really cool stuff

there's a lot of unreality themes and it can definitely be. intense. at times

if you have issues with unreality/horror stuff it might not be for you?

but there's also a very comfortable vibe of like. you're surrounded by cautionary tales about getting too obsessed with stuff, but also reminders to NOT get too obsessed with stuff

the shambling horror with your face is asking when the last time you drank some water and went outside is

it's very funny how those two things can coexist

anyway like. if you look up zampanio you'll probably find a bunch of different zampanio things around the internet

but this is also a pretty good place to start

http://www.farragofiction.com/ZampanioSim/

jr's branch is kind of like. the one that kick-started everything

it's very cool lmao

anyway everyone go check out zampanio

[cocogum]

The Afton kids adoption theory is very dumb. Here’s why.

I never understood the logic behind thinking that William adopted Michael, Elizabeth and the Crying Child for experimenting on them.

Like what makes people think that he took the time of his day to file adoption papers, buy scholarly books, toys, essentials like toothbrushes and clothes and extra food to feed them if the man absolutely despises kids????

People are trying to justify him having kids without putting Mrs. Afton in the picture and that is a load of crap. Just because that woman isn’t around and her name hasn’t been revealed to us, doesn’t mean William adopted three random kids to experiment on them. If he really wanted to experiment on kids without having to go through all the paperwork and human growth process, he would have simply kidnapped three children and kept them in his office. That’s it.

Like, think about it for a second.

The idea of William adopting kids is such a far-fetched theory that it makes William look completely out of character. If he adopted Michael to experiment on him, why would he willingly let him have friends (aka C.C’s bullies) and go outside?

If he adopted Elizabeth to experiment on her, why would he not let her get close to Baby but let other kids get closer?

If he adopted C.C to experiment on him, why would he warn him through the golden Freddy plushie to be wary of his surroundings and promise him that he’ll put him back together?

Also, the idea of the Afton children being humanoid robots (like the Charlie from the Silver Eyes book trilogy) doesn’t make any sense either since we see C.C’s head almost getting crushed to death by Fredbear (before he eventually dies from it), Elizabeth’s whole body getting squashed inside of Baby’s and Michael’s organs and insides getting scooped by Ennard.

But let’s say the Afton children weren’t robots or weren’t being adopted by William to get tested on and used. Let’s say, that William genuinely wanted kids but wasn’t able to get into a relationship with anyone due to him being off-putting (no joke he was described as being a very odd man in the books). If that was true, then how could it have been possible for Michael to have said that the Funtimes mistook him for William if he was only his adoptive son? The Funtimes didn’t know who Michael was at first but once they took a good look at him, they genuinely thought he was his father. If he got adopted by him, then that line of his would have never existed. Since Sister Location confirmed to us that Michael was biologically related to William, that detail also helps us to confirm that C.C is also related to William due to Micheal and C.C having some physical similarities like their iconic brown hair and their skin colour (grown-up Michael’s skin becomes more similar to C.C’s). As for Elizabeth, she has the same accent as her father and oldest brother which confirms that she got her looks from her mother (their accents are very important for this part since they all live in Hurricane Utah so the chances of finding other british accents in the 1980s in that area is very improbable).

The adoption theory is literally one of the worst fnaf theories I have ever heard in the entire community. And that is saying a lot if you’ve been a fan since 2014.

The man simply got married, divorced his wife after the bite of 83 and got to keep his remaining kids due to having won the lawsuit against his wife. (Proof of the lawsuit scene was in the Security Breach retro CDs if you don’t remember) .

It’s as easy as that. William never adopted for experimentations. If he did, his energy and time being wasted on three experiments wouldn’t have made sense if all he wanted from them was remnant. William also never adopted for the faint of heart since his children got his and his wife’s looks. And finally, William never built his children because their deaths proved they were actual humans.

There were no indications, proof or evidence in the games and books that suggested the Afton children were adopted by William. If anything, there were much more to say about the children being biologically related to him rather than the opposite. This theory had way too many plot holes and more questions than answers that it might as well just turn itself into a headcanon for the fans to enjoy.

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #36

Batgirl (2000) #16 - July 2001 Writer: Puckett Pencils: Scott Inks: Campanella Colors: Wright

Another solo one shot, another resonant and memorable stand alone story that Cass fans from back in the day will remember clearly. Got a bit more time to work with, gonna try and pull some more images this time, because the art in this one is just really good. Honestly, this issue is peak early days Batgirl - the kind of story she was literally made to tell, and it's really well executed. If I had to pick a single issue of Cass's entire Batgirl run as sort of a 'this is what she's all about' encapsulation for someone completely new to Cass and her book, this would be on the short list. If you've never read her ongoing before, i strongly recommend you actually read the issue for yourself before the summary here.

The issue opens on a bunch of kids playing a mean game where they throw a rat in the air and get points if it lands in a circle they drew on the ground. The nerd in my has to point out that it's kind of unrealistic. Rats aren't quite as fall resistant as, say, cats, but while they could be hurt or maybe even killed by a fall from only as high as a grade school kid could throw them, most are going to scamper away and none are going to land so badly that they splatter like a water balloon.

Anyway, it's gross and its cruel but also kind of cute as the kids argue about the rules and 'nuh uh' each other, and Scott draws their faces really expressively, and the whole scene starts with a rat silhouetted in front of the moon mid toss in an image that's as aesthetically compelling as it is disturbing in context before plummeting back down

I could talk about how Cass is flying high through the city as Batgirl while her mental state is hurtling towards a painful crash, but that's probably reading too much into it.

Anyway, after the first splat there's this kind of cool sequence where the next kid throws the rat up and they all run back and look down at the circle...

Only the rat never comes down, and when they look up like 'where did it go?' there's Cass

The image of Cass swooping down from above with the kids all looking up is pretty cool, and the way the panels create a pacing for the scene is really good. Effective storytelling through sequential art.

Cass drops down, and the kids scatter. Not a situation that needs any more intervention then that, and we get a nice panel showing just her hands and feet as she crouches down to gently let the rat go. A pretty standard inverse kick-the-dog moment to establish Cass as the good guy by having her be nice to an animal, but for those who have been reading along from the first issues of her book it also reminds us of how Bruce once praised her for being 'gentle', and how despite everything that's happened that part of her is still in there.

As the other kids scatter, one stays behind to kick off the main plot for the issue. I like how awkward Cass is here, towering over this kid when she's used to being around allies and enemies taller than herself, not knowing how to talk to him.

Also, I haven't talked about it in a bit, but I just really love the way Scott draws Cass as Batgirl? Her proportions with her big head emphasizing her youth. The way you can make out her expressions despite the full face mask - and the way he gives her the same expressions that he gives Bruce. Her prominent jaw line making her feel tough and defiant and stubborn. The way you can make out her expression through the mask, the sleek lines of how her cape drapes from her neck to the point shoulders and then down, or the way the cape flows when he draws her in motion, all with an oil-slick feel that likely owes as much to Campanella's inking as to Scott's pencil work.

There are aspects of how others draw Cass in her batgirl suit that I like - most recently I love how Leonardo Romero draws the pointy ears on her cowl in the recent Birds of Prey run, it gives Cass a retro feel that really fits his vintage newspaper comic aesthetic. But Scott's version of Cass-as-Batgirl is always how I'll see the character in my mind.

The kid, Tim, takes Cass back to his home, a messy apartment with a mattress just dropped on the floor. You can feel the poverty, and start to form an image of this kid's dad in your head as, like, a decent man pushed into crime by desperation to provide for his kid.

An impression that Tim then explicitly reinforces.

The scene cuts to the bank mid robbery, and we meet someone who seems to fit the mold - Jake. The way Scott draws Jake's expressions, you can tell he doesn't want to be there, and when asked what he's going to do with the money they steal, he just says he's going to pay some bills. But when a security guard surprises them, Jake is startled and shoots him, almost by accident....

The boss, Chaco, compliments Jake on the kill, rubbing in how this isn't a guy who would normally do something like that with the 'didn't think you had it in you' line, and as they walk away you can see how horrified Jake is at what he's done.

In contrast, Chaco shows just how comfortable he is with killing by shooting one of his own guys point blank when he realizes the guy was stealing traceable jewelry from the vault, the way the panel suddenly goes red, and Chaco's calm expression just the panel before, emphasizing how sharp and sudden the violence is.

Chaco's a professional. Ruthless and dispassionate, about the job, about killing, even with his allies. He clearly didn't even feel any malice towards the guy he shot - he was downright friendly with all of his crew, even Jake, just a few panels ago, and that friendliness was probably even genuine. But this guy became a liability, and Chaco doesn't have any time or pity for liabilities.

It's around this time that they notice Jake is missing. More liabilities.

A couple of the crew find Jake in an alley, overwhelmed by guilt over killing that security guard, and again, I just have to say, the art in this issue is really good. The perspective in that first panel looking down, with the shadows stretching forward guns first, the expressions on Jake and the guy who has a gun drawn on him, the detail on the background cobblestones & brickwork. All really good.

Anyway, this is when Cass shows up, in terrifying shadow form, knocking out the two goons with the guns in as many panels.

Cass sees Jake, like us assumes he's Tim's dad, and takes pity on him. For Tim's sake.

But Jake is overwhelmed by guilt.

Guilt is one thing Cass understands.

Tim wanted Cass to stop his dad before he did something bad, something he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for, something Tim wouldn't be able to forgive him for. But Cass was too late. Once again, she's failed.

Only, Tim isn't Jake's son.

He's Chaco's son.

Chaco the remorseless killer. Chaco who can be friendly one moment and commit murder the next. Cass wasn't too late to stop Tim's dad from doing something bad, Tim's dad had been bad the whole time.

And bad dads are also something Cass understands.

I need to take a step out of the story for a moment here though to talk again about how Scott draws Cass, and in particular the bit about conveying her facial expressions through the mask. Scroll up a bit and look at the downcast resignation on her face when Jake says he has to pay for what he's done, then the surprise when he says he isn't Tim's father, and then the absolute fury here.

The expressions are so vivid, and carry so much of the load when it comes to conveying Cass's thoughts and emotions and personality.

Bringing back another old chestnut of this blog, Cass can speak now, and think in words and sentences, but there are no thought bubbles or narration blocks in the entire issue. The book just doesn't need them, not when Scott's Art is able to put everything going on in these characters heads right on their faces.

Cass lays into Chaco, stopping only when she realizes he's already unconscious, and you can feel the sharp snap of her attacks in how the panels are layed out.

Bringing back another old chestnut, the action panels are practically perfunctory. They're there, and they're good, but there's no back and forth, there's never any question of the bank robbers so much as landing a hit on Cass. Who will win in a physical fight was never where the story's tension was. It was all about the emotional stakes.

Tim arrives on scene just in time to see his dad carted off on a stretcher to the hospital, and as Cass takes him home he looks back, through the spikes on her gauntlet, as through through the prison bars that are going to separate him from his father for the rest of his life.

And the last page is this somber, heartbreaking moment of Cass trying to console Tim that just because his father is a bad person, doesn't mean he is too, and it's obvious that Cass is thinking about herself and David Cain here, but while I might be reading too much into the panel, the way Cass's shadow forms Bruce's symbol to me draws attention to the fact that Cass has two fathers, and just because one of them isn't a murderer doesn't mean he isn't also bad.

...

So yeah, this really is more or less the archetypal Cass Cain Batgirl (2000) issue. A somber, contemplative tone. Street level / no super-villains or over the top scenarios. A focus on the individual humanity of the minor characters, including criminals who would be faceless mooks in any other bat book. Story and characterization conveyed through expressive artwork and deliberate panel use rather than blunt narration, taking advantage of the specific strengths of the comic medium. Violence and action scenes sharp, short and snappy rather than heavily drawn out, with the main conflict grounded in personal and emotional stakes. Narrative themes - guilt, parenthood - that tie directly back to Cassandra's core themes, history, and character motivations. All concisely contained within a single issue episode that works as a stand alone story.

Although there might be a bit too much emphasis on the stand alone part. Sometimes Cass's stories do come back to be referenced again later, we'll have an example of that next week, but we never see Tim again, we never see Cass following up or checking on him which is kind of a shame.

[hottakehoulihan]

This week was M*A*S*H week. I have the box set. There are eleven seasons and two movies. As I understand it, first someone published a book (I haven't read it) about what they then no-doubt spelled as "high-jinks" at a Mobile Army Surgery Hospital during the Korean War. The first M*A*S*H movie was based on the book, I think, and leaned into laffs about drinking and sex. Honestly, I had an okay time, even despite things I consider to be sexual assault, and a non-hateful use of the N-word and a few other problematic racial and gender things. The movie dates from 1970 and is about 1950.

Also, I love the theme song. The song was authored by a teen, allegedly, on behalf of teen's dad (who claims over and over that it's a hilariously silly song. I think he doth protest too much. It's got pith to it. Also I'm basing this off of half-remembered Wikipedia but I'm not risking opening that website right now I have things to do)

Anyway that's it for the initial movie; goofy and unkind-in-a-standard-way, but designed to make you feel like you're one of the people doing the laughing and that the victims are acceptable targets. I zoned out a bit during a football game in which some nonconsensual doping of opponents may or may not have occurred. I still love the recreation of "The Last Supper" and want to make a desktop wallpaper of it. Not bad. I had some wine with it, which helped.

The TV series has eleven seasons. I watched some of the final season and will, as time permits, watch more of other episodes on a whim, but for all that I've got this username I am affectionate towards the show in the same way I am affectionate towards raccoons; I have the love, but almost always at a distance. But yeah; pleasant stuff. Sometimes a bit blunt, but we're dealing with a show that started before Dragnet was a thing (probably), and it was good for its day. I cried at least twice.

The TV show was a lot more serious and--in the words of some people who are usually not folk I want as friends--preachy. Unlike most things I've seen on the telly, it was consistently an improvement on silence and meditation. Sincerely, I mean that as praise. Even at its most formula, it was good formula, IMHO.

The final movie is the point of what I was pursuing this project though. I've got at least one beloved mutual(tm) as a fan, and between that and also realizing the final episode/movie of MASH was super famous in early TV-watching history as the most-watched episode of all time multiple years running? And my somewhat retro username? I felt silly for not having seen it yet.

My vapid verdict? It's good. I was expecting a great deal and still I was surprised. There are elements that have been cribbed from it (and it's possible it cribbed from earlier art but I have no reason to think so) in later works; one of the most heartwrenching overheard conversations from the Mass Effect games, I think, borrows from the movie. I feel like they managed to cram, into whatever the run time was, three times the content and impact that they'd have accomplished if they broke it up into episode-length segments. Anyway, tears and stuff, and the damned guys need to hug more and they'd better have kept in touch.

I endorse watching the movie if you haven't seen it. If you've never watched any of the show (it was one of the few things available to me during a somewhat-controlled childhood in which I was often supposed to have zero TV or internet or video games) I actually think it would be worth your time to watch a random selection of episodes.

tl;dr: The final episode movie of MASH = worth watching a few MASH episodes to warm up for prior to watching it, then watching it, and then maybe having a bit of a break.

[writebackatya]

for the character ask can you do della for 1, 24 & 29?

What is this, the 3rd time someone asked me about Della? Well that’s fine with me! Let’s do this!

1. My first impression of them

So the first clip of Della I have ever seen was her singing her lullaby to the baby moon mite. Also I think this was the first clip of the show I actually watched. How did I come across it? Some YouTuber named Brentalfloss who I still follow on one of my Twitter accounts despite not watching his stuff in years

Anyway so Brentalfloss was someone I used to watch waaaaay back when Screwattack was a gaming-related website and not just Death Battle (nothing against Death Battle, I enjoy that show). He was one of those creators I learned about through the site along with some others such as the AVGN

So Brentalfloss’s whole schtick back in the day was adding lyrics to retro game songs that did not have lyrics, which includes the Moon theme from the DuckTales NES game (I actually still have some of his songs on my phone and occasionally listen to them)

When that episode aired he tweeted about and included a link to the clip which I watched. I thought it was so cool that a tv show on Disney would reference an old NES game (which I did own at the time and still do! I had retro games collecting phase) so I had to watch it. I remember despite not knowing anything about the show, it got me emotional. My reaction was something like, “I don’t know who exactly this character is but she seems really important and I bet this is a really emotional moment for the fans of this show”

So yeah, back in my day, this was MY Della’s Lullaby. (Warning this video was made back in 2009 when it was common to say the R-word for comedic effect on the internet. It sucks, but I don’t think the creator is that type of person anymore):

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

I honestly don’t think Della has told a single member of her family that she had to cut off her leg herself.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent?

Screw the haters! Della’s a great parent! It took her time but she got there! And I’m happy for her

[trobador-adjacent]

Remembered a thing from my childhood today, so I'm ramble posting about it just so someone hears about it.

It's known that France is a literal country of weebs. The French are the largest consumers of manga outside of Japan, which is at least partly due to the prominence of comics in the French-speaking world (bande dessinée), and the quantity of anime that was on TV in the 80s and 90s (through the show Club Dorothée notably) has led to a few generations of enthusiasts of Japanese pop culture.

One result of that was Nolife. It was a TV channel that ran from 2007 to 2018, focused on 'nolife' culture, meaning games, otaku culture, technology, etc. While it was a pay channel, we just happened to have access to it at my home because it was included in our phone/internet plan, and I watched it a lot alongside the one other channel that catered to my interests, Game One.

The thing about Nolife was that they absolutely did not care to look for marketability, though. Game One, the bigger name channel that's still around, mainly covered things like current gaming news, the latest AAA games, sometimes showing big name shonen anime and mainstream pop culture stuff. Meanwhile, Nolife covered every single aspect of its subject.

They covered gaming news and reviewed games in their weekly show, but they gave the same screen time to AAA games as they did to obscure Xbox Live Arcade releases or Japanese games not certain to have American releases, let alone European ones. They gave a ton of attention to retro games, even series with no present relevance; there was even one show focused on superplays, aka score or challenge playthroughs, of mostly arcade games which is the only reason I even know the term. And it was all done with great care, too, always treating the subject and the viewer with respect.

They occasionally had manga and anime reviews and I remember sometimes seeing very niche anime series, but that was actually rare; a lot of their otaku culture coverage was about much deeper aspects like music, from rock (I heard supercell for the first time on there) to freaking idol groups (there was a popular idol who made regular appearances and hosted a small segment for years), and parts of actual Japanese culture, somewhat. You know those shows on Japanese TV where they have a celebrity visit a prefecture and go 'wowee!' at whatever tourist attraction or food specialty they have? They had something that was either an in-house translation of such a show or that they actually produced. It wasn't exactly great considering what these shows are, but it was certainly authentic!

And then, since they were more or less indies themselves, they gave a LOT of attention to indie works of various kinds as well. They were, as far as I know, the first channel in the country to air web live-action series. It gave a lot of attention and budget to works that couldn't really be financially sound if published on YouTube or elsewhere on the 2010s Internet ; notable names include Noob and Le Visiteur which have become franchises today.

I didn't always get the chance to watch Nolife, nor did I always understand or appreciate everything they showed when I was too little. But damn, do I cherish that time. Reflecting on it now, I think Nolife deeply affected the way I engaged with my interests later in life because it wasn't afraid to be niche and specific and treat niche and specific things with respect and attention. It didn't care to aim for the lowest common denominator and didn't assume its viewers ignorant, it just gave everything the coverage it needed.

Sadly, it didn't work out commercially in the end, as Nolife went bankrupt in 2018 after struggling financially for years; but its impact remained and there are still fans singing bardic tales. One person has been uploading segments from the channel to Youtube daily; they're up to over 1600 videos now. While it's not yet close to how much quality content was shown on Nolife in its lifetime, it's a great repository.

That's all. There's no big moral to this post or anything, I really just wanted to talk about this one French TV channel. No one outside of France would hear about it otherwise; I think it deserves to be known about. Thank you for reading.

[lintwriting]

Undertale and Crow Country: More Alike Than You Think!

A lot of what’s sweeping about Crow Country reminds me of what swept Undertale into massive popularity. Great music, retro but in a way that plays with the source materials, a good story—but most importantly, one with time to breathe.

Like some of Undertale’s most memorable aspects were the way it played with the player in a way unique to video games and RPGs.

Genocide and pacifist routes play with the standard RPG violence that most games never question.

The player chooses to name a character at the beginning who is NOT your player character, but instead a different character altogether, and your player is actually a character in their own right (named Frisk) rather than a character you can project onto/role play as, as would be the norm in a ROLEPLAYing game lol.

(The RPG Disco Elysium was also famous for these kind of meta elements, with the game making it clear (through the narrative device of amnesia) that while you can customize the player character, he is not a blank slate/player insert either! Much like the way someone in real life will still find themselves predisposed to certain traits through nurture/their environment, even if they make their own choices. Read my thoughts here!)

Undertale I remember being considered very retro at its time for being an 8-bit RPG. Particularly memorable is that people clowned on the graphics, which I thought were cute as someone who wasn’t very familiar with video games, but I didn’t realize that the 8-bit stuff wouldn’t be commonplace for most gamers. So yeah, it was considered weirdly retro at the time.

Similarly, Crow Country plays with nostalgia in a way that I’m not familiar with at all. I’m unfamiliar with its influences—unfamiliar with Final Fantasy, unfamiliar with PS1 graphics (except as the new trend that’s been making the rounds as of late). As such, it’s not nostalgic to me beyond being a puzzle game like Undertale and a lot of RPGmaker games were. But yeah, both Undertale and Crow Country bring something new to the table to this nostalgic rehashing.

Undertale mostly with its meta storytelling/themes, though the combat system was unique. And Crow Country in its faux pre-rendered background, mimicking old survival horror games, that acts as an immersive-sim-like interact-able background that would’ve been impossible for its era. The ability to interact with objects you assume are just part of the background is a hugely pleasant surprise in a game like this, rewarding exploration—a key game mechanic. A positive feedback loop.

And like, the nostalgia is HUGE. A lot of the moments reviewers keep referencing are the bits where characters make cute jokes about how it’s weird you need to go through like 5 puzzles just to get a key, referencing in-universe how weird their world is. That’s the type of joke you only get once a genre has established tropes and cliches, aka when a genre has been around long enough to feel nostalgic. Undertale also made similar meta jokes that show a love for the genre it’s in, as does Disco Elysium, and it creates a sense of kinship between the player and the characters and the developers (because it’s an in-joke and a badge of honor).

Finally, the moments to breathe. The game encourages and rewards exploration, and it has story beats and moments that reward slowing down before a big moment and to just feeling what the characters are feeling AND appreciate the experience of this genre of game itself.

With Undertale, it’s the whole “filled with determination” save mechanics and the “you’re still you” mirror scenes.

With Crow Country, it’s Mara’s scene where she appreciates her key items (like a lot of survival horror fans do near the end of play throughs). Mara has her own quiet save room areas, too.

Along with the almost tonally abrupt Undertale lore dump of the echo flower room. A dump would be boring in a different game, but the echo flowers, thanks to its visceral atmosphere, instead feel like the intimacy of a child finding out their family secrets. To achieve this, rather than characters telling you, it’s just flowers echoing you secrets from the past—leaving you the player alone enough to really take in the info (as if you were Frisk) and letting you process it as you will, without any push from other characters. Not frisk (who doesn’t speak), not any other character else, just the player. Alone with these secrets.

Similarly, that scene where Mara is climbing down into the heart of darkness on that ladder. Just an endless view of her going down and getting smaller and darker, like Omori going down the stairs. Oh boy, it’s that same feeling of letting you really process what you’re getting into, of slowing down to feel the visceral emotions and enjoy the experience thanks to its intense atmosphere. But it contains that same heart pumping, introspective feeling of appreciation and excitement that Undertale has with its save points, with none of the dramatic fear that Aomori’s stair scene evokes, because it’s a slow moment to breathe.

(this gif and its texts via ElucidatedByFire's WONDERFUL video on Crow Country. Truly underrated and highly recommend!!!)

Cross-Demographic Appeal

I think under this lens, it makes a lot of sense why Crow Country is on such an "easy" mode despite ostensibly being a survival horror game. I feel like in a lot of ways, it has cross-demographic appeal, specifically connected to Undertale’s more RPG puzzle/newbie/young demographic. Undertale even has that horror level with the creepy amalgamations.

So while Crow Country’s survival horror audience is baffled at its choice to make "easy" mode the default, since the whole point of the genre is stuff like resource management and the adrenaline of trying to survive, an RPG audience is not quite as used to that level of anxiety while playing lol.

It would be forgiving to these undoubtedly beginner players who come for that RPG crossover appeal, who don’t know what to expect and therefore wouldn’t know to go on “easy” mode (if murder mode was set as “normal”). Though maybe this is a bit too coddling XD

[unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog]

The Story

The story is about three personified game consoles trying to graduate from highschool.

On paper, a comedy of the SEGA consoles and games is actually a really good idea, since many people on YouTube have successful series based on classic game tropes.

But does this anime do it well? Eh... Kind of...

Some of the jokes are funny, especially the ones about retro games. But the problem is that the classic anime jokes fall flat and some of them come out as too mean spirited, especially with the treatment SEGA Saturn gets! This isn't as bad as the Squidward torture porns, but it still on those lines.

And the Sega Saturn torture just gets really predictable. They do it to DreamCast in one episode, but it ruins another joke that came before it and it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

The Characters

The characters of the consoles are unfortunately just moe trash! Mega Drive is the smart one, DreamCast is the cute and bubbly one and SEGA Saturn is post-movie Squidward. They should have had the consoles personalities reflect the age that they came from. Such as Mega Drive being the cool gal, Saturn being the jealous one who is often forgotten and DreamCast feel like a failure to reflect on the failure the DreamCast was to the point SEGA stopped making consoles! Does that sound like a more interesting cast than moe garbage?

None of them grow as characters and other than them being SEGA consoles, they are REALLY forgettable!

The 8-bit rabbit is a really unlikeable character, which is a shame because he is voiced by Yuji Naka!

On many Websites, other consoles are mentioned and even have voice actors listed. Not only don't they EVER speak once during the anime, nearly half of the ones listed aren't even in the anime! Sorry Tera-Drive fans! (What the hell is a Tera-drive fan?)

The Animation/Special Effects

You think at first the cheap looking models are a stylistic choice, you soon realise that the animation is actually lazy. They frequently recycle footage and in one episode during the contest, the other consoles are just cheap 2D sprites that look like they have been cut out from a pop-up book! So SEGA Master System and Game Gear fans, be ready to be pissed off!

The animation doesn't even try to make the characters fit in with the games they're in! They stand out like sore thumbs and it just takes you out of the emersion.

Final Thought

As both an anime and retro-game fan, I should have loved this anime. But it feels like the creators in this didn't even try to make it good and decided to do something decent for the ending! Which isn't even worth getting to.

It's no wonder nobody remembers this anime, heck, I didn't know about its existence till today, and I watched it all on one day because the episodes are so short!

Even if you do love the moe genre, there are so many better ones out there that have more care and time put into them. And for retro-gaming fans, the game show Go 8-bit is far more entertaining and Dorkly's animation skits are more funnier than this anime.

Just skip this anime. It's not worth sitting through, even when the episodes are only around 10 minutes long!

The Story 2/5 The Characters 1/5 The Animation/Special Effects 0.5/5

Overall 1/5

[6ad6ro]

man do any of u guys remember tumblr user fuckyeah1990s? they were maybe the first “big” tumblr blog to reblog my stuff. which def helped me blow up early on (i used to be an upcoming game giffer n got featured etc n had a ton of momentum until i just stopped caring).

they seemed cool and would send me nice asks. and they def made my posts blow up (ugh i was so naive like visibility is so worthless). so i thought they were neat. but i was new to tumblr. i didn’t understand that they were taking other people’s posts and adding themselves as the source (you used to be able to edit posts). so if anyone clicked on the post it’d link to their blog where they sold stolen art as tshirts. they’d edit posts in other ways to make em look like they were theirs too, or just straight up steal content and reupload as their own. one of the notable times i’d noticed they stole a friend’s post, n so i mentioned it to my friend. and when the friend asked staff to remove the stolen post, fy1990s sent my friend all this really cringey anon hate. they were SO mad somebody dared to keep them from stealing. this kinda stuff had been happening all the time, but a lot of people in the retro circles on here didn’t realize what they were doing was on such a big scale. and they had soooooo many fans. mostly like 13yos who thought they were this cool 90s vibes teen just like them. which is actually what they presented as even tho they were clearly like in their 40s. nothin wrong with bein older and on tumblr, but this was back when tumblr was still kinda new and most of us were in our 20s at the oldest. and the issue was they were literally using a voice changer to try and sound way younger than they were and pretending to be like 17. it was SUPER creepy. and if you really looked into their blog, you’d start to notice they were def flirting with all these underage peeps. right before i finally unfollowed/blocked, i saw they were “making a movie” and all these young girls from their followers were getting involved and the movie looked like pure shit. it was clearly them just shooting random footage on their phone so they could creep on these girls. pretty sure this is the shit that finally caught up with them and got them deleted. or they finally deleted themselves because there was way too much evidence. who even knows but thank god they’re gone bc fuck that dude. to this day i still see old posts ppl are reblogging of dead blogs that have their source edited to link to fuckyeah1990s and it all comes back to me. like their residue still pollutes this website. what an absolute shithead.

[blazehedgehog]

Are you fan of anything that isn't a big media franchise? Sometimes I feel anxiety over my own taste being just whatever thing gets layed infront of me by corporations and not anything organic that isnt just made to sell

I mean the things that get laid in front of you by corporations are custom built to be mainstream popular. You're not a worse person for liking what's popular. It's popular for a reason.

This is my line of thinking when I play fighting games because more often than not I gravitate towards the boring main characters. I was a Mario guy in Melee, I do best with Ryu and Chun-li, etc. These are made to be popular and easy to digest. You don't have to willingly throw yourself in to the deepest end of the pool if you don't want to.

If you're having fun, embrace it.

And maybe along the way you'll find a niche you like to fit in to. Like if you want to know things that aren't big media franchises that I love, let's talk video games:

Amid Evil is great. It's part of NewBlood's stable of new-retro FPS games, and the twist is that all your guns are swords, and you're a God slaying other Gods. This helps break the mold of having a pistol, shotgun, chain gun, and RPG. Similar concepts still make an appearance, but they always feel appreciably different than the cliches. It's also a beautiful and psychedelic looking game, with extremely tight level design. Just a complete joy top to bottom, though it starts to overstay its welcome at the very, very, very end (those last couple of levels and the final boss are way too long).

Or, like, movies, right. I have friends who revel in old trash and they set up group streams pretty often. So a few weeks ago they streamed Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter, one of the last Hammer films they made before the company shut down. Hammer was known for cranking out cheap, fast horror movies in the 60's and 70's, and they were falling out of style. Kronos was something they apparently actually put real effort and a budget in to, sort of like a cross between James Bond, a horror movie, and super hero. It was interesting, but maybe not spectacular. Definitely not enough to save the company. But I don't regret having seen it.

(You'll often find I watch a lot of other weird, old, fringe movies like that because of these friends.)

Just don't be afraid to break out of your comfort zones, I guess. But also remember that comfort zones are called that because they are comfortable to exist in, and there's usually nothing wrong with being comfortable. With the state of the world as it can be, there's no shame in retreating somewhere safe and cozy.

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Albums

It's makes sense. You already knew what was up. Let's talk about it.

________________________________________________________________________

Why Would I Watch - Hot Mulligan

I'd been doing the dabbling work on Hot Mulligan for a good part of the year and was there and in love. Then this album came out and everyone was going off about how good it was, so I needed no convincing, just a CD copy. They even announced a tour shortly after the album release, but because I hadn't listened to the album yet I decided to wait and see. If you in the mix, you know how big of a mistake that was. It sold out SO quickly. Anyway I listened, went on a couple neighborhood walks with the album and the rest is history.

They may feature song titles that are sometimes nonsensical and cause you not to remember what their names are when you want to recommend them to your friends, but don't let that deter you, "This Song Is Called it's called What's It Called" needs no automatic memorizing of it's title, it's okay if you look it up or shorten them. I had already heard "Gans..." as a single in my Spotify release radar, so beyond that "No Shoes In The Coffee Shop" was the first song that I got attached to lyrically because of "for every crater on the moon, there's an empty beer around the room." I don't know I was just drawn to it.

If you haven't already listened and you're into Midwest Emo, Pop-Punk, Post-Punk, any of that, go listen to the album, have a moment and thank me later. Also tell me what your favorite song is cause I'd love to know.

Top 4 Tracks:

Gans Media Retro Games (Track 10)

No Shoes In The Coffee Shop "Or Socks" (Track 5)

Betty (Track 7)

It's A Family Movie She Hates Her Dad (Track 2)

King Of The New Age - State Champs

This album was listed as one that needed more attention during ACF22 and since I did my homework, in 2023 it made it to an top favorites category. I saw them in concert with Boys Like Girls, so that majorly increased their chances. Honestly though I think I was just starting to ease off the break that I was taking from some of my favorites and here were are. I thought they deserved to be a little cocky, just wasn't entirely here for it previously cause I always want to keep my favorites accessible. After sitting with the album a ton and seeing bits of it live, I can't be less of a State Champs fan. They're too good, so it is impossible for me. Like always give me time.

This is the album you make once you're a Senior in school and are now the top dogs. People are coming to your house to party now. This is stating a moment for the band and I think regardless of where they go from here, they were able to make a record reflecting the feelings of this time, most of which were high. At the end of the day I'm not gonna knock them for celebrating themselves and making sure we're aware who's winning here, I'm actually just gonna go right ahead and join in on the gang vocals.

My advice for anyone else this happens to, is to go ahead and take breaks from the artists that you love. I know that sounds sucky but trust me, you're most likely gonna come back to them and you're gonna appreciate the work so much more and if you don't, that's okay too. It worked for me, so that must count for nothing, but still something.

Click here to see what I said about the album last time.

Top 4 Tracks:

The proof that I did my homework is in what tracks are my favorite currently, cause they have definitely changed.

Fake It (Track 5)

Act Like That ft. Mitchell Tempenny (Track 8)

Sundress ft. Four Years Strong (Track 10)

Just Sound (Track 7)

[skullbuilt]

La Vie en Rose 2024 - Game 1: Lunacid (Kira LLC, 2023)

What happens to dreams when the dreamer wakes?

also: if my immediate thing to say about something after finishing is a quote from the thing, it's because i thought it was a banger and don't know what else to say

Lunacid is a retro throwback style game (if you're familiar with Akuma Kira's other works like Lost in Vivo or Basilisk, this is not surprising). Specifically, Lunacid draws from FromSoft's back catalog, namely King's Field. It does some of my favorite stuff in the "hard games" genre space- hopefully people know what I mean here- by trying to talk very explicitly about how those struggles carry forward into the real world. Yes, at times it may have felt insurmountable, but you only really lose when you give up, and such is the same of all challenges.

It also carries a lot of the fun mystery of a PSX game with it. This is both in it storytelling and atmosphere style- little snippets of writing and names that you have to piece together into stories and clues on your own- as well as the mechanics. The game is absolutely rife with hidden doors and false walls, and most only lead to an item or two, but the occasional big secret weapon makes every crafting ingredient worth it. I did run into some issues with difficulty- one of the things Soulslike games do that reinforces the preserver-and-overcome theming is that they don't actually take much from you. Sure, you drop your EXP, but it's a quick load with any other cool loot you found and back into the action. True to a PSX game, when you die in Lunacid, it boots you back to load up your last save. Some of the sting is taken out once you discover a broken weapon, but this causes combat to lose a lot of its teeth too (with the exception of the final boss, who in my opinion, has far too much health).

But I love the world! I loved the atmosphere! I loved walking around and reading lore on a magic sword found in a moat! I loved opening a secret wall only to find a vhs tape?! I'm not a massive fan of fantasy, but Lunacid is the kind of gothic dark fantasy I absolutely adore, and it's going to stay with me for a long time.

Which is how it answers the question it poses: What happens to a dream after the dreamer wakes? The dreamer remembers the dream, and carries that memory into the waking world.

P.S. a quick aside i couldn't fit anywhere else: i love how lunacid handles pronouns. initially, the game didn't have any, since characters only every referred to you by player name. after the whole starfield debacle, with a certain type of player losing their mind over having to pick between 'he/him', 'she/her', or 'they/them' like some kind of lib, they were added to character creation. they start off as 'they/them' by default. scrolling one to the right is 'xe/xir'. scrolling one to the left is 'she/he'. both 'he/him' and 'she/her' are buried in the middle of the options, meaning you have to go through 'ey/em's and 'she/they's to get there. and after all that? npcs still only call you by name. masterfully done.

[interactivemedial3]

Army of Trolls.

Source-

Army of Trolls Interview - Pixel Art of raise your Pulse - JUICY GAME REVIEWS

"Long have I been a fan of Pixel Art! A style of art that seems to represent our Geek Culture ​more than any other art form I have ever seen. In this post here I explained that I used to be fascinated with drawing top/down fictional houses and ships as a young girl (I have no idea why Ships were a thing). The very notion of being able to glance in to a made-up world that I had created. I decided on which room was placed where. I decided how much colour to add and how many people I placed in my drawings. I guess my geeky tendencies started from a very early age. Needless to say, my drawings were absolutely shocking, I had no sense of scale and I could not keep my felt tip in the lines to save my life! I guess you could say I retired from drawing at the age of four and it was time to leave it to the professionals!"

"Fast forward to 2016 and I had started to see some mind blowing pixel art spring up online. Pixel Art that was designed within an Isometric framework. Add in some seriously geeky contents and I was hooked. Who was responsible for such a feat? This led me to discovering Army of Trolls! A man by the name of Gary was behind such amazing creations. When I was four years old I believed my shitty drawings were these; Army of Troll creations. I reached out to Gary and instantly lunged at him with my intention to interview. Fortunately he agreed and was kind enough to let me use some of his creations in this interview. Let me add that some of Gary's client's include Disney, Honda, JC Penny, Edge and more..."

"#1 Gary, tell us a little bit about yourself"  "I am from North London, a self-taught artists, even though I did study art for about 3 months before I dropped out of college. Went on to work as a games tester for Empire Interactive, working my way into the Graphic Design department, I left that job with dreams of working on my own artwork and making games." "#2 If you were to describe your work to someone who didn't know you how would you describe it?"  "I get asked what I do fairly often and it is tricky to explain to someone who isn’t into games. I normally say I am an illustrator, then say remember those videogame you used to play as a kid with the blocky graphics, a bit like that. They normally comeback with something along the lines of ‘What like Sonic or Mario’ and I go ‘yeah, that’ and we both walk off non-the wiser, lol." "#3 How long have you been creating awesome Pixel Art for and what got you in to it?"  "When I rebooted the Edge Retro cover I worked out that the original was done in 2002 and that was my first proper job, so I guess I have been doing this sort of thing for around 15 years now. Although I did dabble in pixel art over the years." "#4 Out of all of the pieces you've created what is your favourite and why?'  "Normally it’s the last thing I did that I am most pleased with, recently the piece I did for the London Games Festival is one of my faves at the moment, I do have a soft spot for the Edge retro cover as it was my first proper job but it’s so old and I have improved so much that I prefer my more recent artwork. Apart from that any games I work on are normally up there with my fave things, it’s hard to beat seeing your artwork in an actual videogame.Army of Trolls - I'm in love"

"#5 Two of my favourite pieces are the Edge Retro Games Room and PC Format Gamer Desk. How long does something like these take to create?"  "They take a couple of weeks to create, pretty much the longer you have the better they are going to look, but there is always the issue of deadlines whizzing over my head. With the Edge Reboot it was a personal project so I was able to spend as long as I wanted which I why it turned out so well." "#6 What or who inspires your work? I see some hints of Japanese culture with the bright and flashy elements to it" " Old Snes/Megadrive games, old Amiga stuff, the sort of things I used to play when I was younger, toys, games. My office is crammed full of Lego, weird Japanese toys I picked up over the years, games and books. I have always drawn as a kid, mainly doodling weird little monsters and I guess my artwork is a way of channeling that into something productive." "#7 Would you describe yourself as a Gamer? If so what kind of games do you play?"  "Yeah totally, I play everything, love JRPG’s, played World of Warcraft for years, love the Zelda games anything a bit odd, really love all the old stuff Treasure did like Gunstar Heroes, Guardian Heroes on the Saturn etc. My fave game at the moment is Monster Hunter, I do love my 3DS." "#8 What is next in line for Army of Trolls?"  "Been working on a game for the last six months with my friends at Dakko Dakko who I did Floating Cloud God on the PSP with and Scram Kitty on the Wii U, can’t say anymore about it until it is announced." "Also have a game called Magic Mallet that I am working on with another friend, which is a retro one-screen platform game a bit like Bubble Bobble one of my fave games ever." "Will be doing loads more illustration work as well, whatever crops up!" "#9 Where can readers connect with you?"  "On twitter @armyoftrolls or via my website www.armyoftrolls.co.uk"

[supertrainstationh]

INTELLIVISION FIBS by Super Train Station H ------------------------

Intellivision fans sigh and say "here we go" whenever discussion comes up about that damn Amico.

Toothless vanity project, fueled by avarice and ego straight from the ambitions of one Tommy Tallarico, integrity that melts under the slightest heat, like snow barely completed games that aren't fit to be shown, making podcasters get catty at prototypes that look shabby - clearly they're full of bugs, dragging the Intellivision brand straight through the false hype mud.

Mattel sure is glad they have no connection to this - mismanaged brand revival console that's an obvious miss.

Based on nostalgia, but the historical games from the 70's and 80's aren't on the list, just uninspired recreations that doom the project like Death's kiss.

The Blue Sky Rangers can't scramble their fighters to stop this - there's a long line of partisans ready to blindly defend it.

They were promised Tommy interviews and VIP access -

But access to what?

Access to one man's egotistical smelly butt?

Project goals don't get met, but they toss it up to bad luck:

"Trust us, we're an experienced company - but we're also a start-up."

"Remember our old glory days? Well, we're back to delight the nation - but this is our first product, so please people, be patient."

Make up your mind!

I'm fed up!

And the excuses don't add up.

Blame coronavirus again? Dang yo, I've heard enough.

Analogue Pocket made it out, I know, today I played mine today on the bus.

Playdate shipped to gamers, so in Panic we know we can trust.

And Evercade Vs. hit stores in a Blaze, that's the way you make a system for actual vintage games.

Tommy wanted nostalgia, and he went all out, as you'd expect cause like in the old days, Intellivision got beat to shelves by VCS.

The new Atari VCS is a joke with no future, day one - it was dead, but at least it tripped over the starting line before Amico could make it out of bed.

Building a cult-like following, while legitimate interest tapers, no wonder low funds show on investment proposal papers.

Point out Amico's problems and you get called a "gaming racist", because saying a video game sucks is the same as genocidal hatred.

Tommy can't withstand hot takes, but says his critics are snowflakes, politicizing every little thing makes his game system look lame.

Vilifies anyone that won't take a seat on his flat ride, while people who stayed on board, watch their pre-order dough get fried.

All they had to do was make an Intellivision mini-system, make all the vintage games, playable on modern televisions, include overlays for replica keypad controllers, and retro gaming fans would keep the money in-going.

But no, they had to be big shots,   cause they have big roller ambitions, but making a product people want was never part of their mission.

They made a solution to a fake problem about which no one complained, then accused Nintendo Switch of having sex abuse games.

Wait? Really? Hold on - This story's bigger than King Kong, they spent German taxpayer funds on this damn bomb!

Foxes are wild beasts, but "Finnegan Fox" looks tame, and they tried selling people empty boxes with no games - empty hope with nothing for the gaming public to see, a hustle Nick Wilde would size up and say, "No way, you lost me."

They said, "Look at our games! You wanna play this today, we bet!" and when people weren't impressed, they said, "It's unfair to judge them yet!"

Which is it Tommy?

Between reality and his words there's a schism, every claim breaks apart   like light through a bull prism.

It's sad that Intellivision's main modern exposure, is bad drama, broken promises, and lack of composure.

I'll play the classic games, and defend that strange old controller, but sticking up for Amico would be like trying to push a boulder.

It would be exhausting, and unfun, so why even try?

Intellivision Lives, but this brand mismanagement needs to die.

------------------------

Thanks for reading!

And posted on 10-10-2022, the 2 year anniversary of this nightmare project's originally announced launch date.

PHOTO CREDIT: Intellivision Productions (I refuse to link to them, at the risk that they might take your money in bad faith)

ART CREDIT: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/keetahspacecat/

WHAT IS THIS EVEN ABOUT? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4T1sDYpnBr4R7or5khb4MTJGZaZdT4FU