#as i mentioned previously i'm curious to hear your thoughts on this

[eroselless]

───────────────────somebody else // 4

series summary: you just work in hospitality for McLaren and he’s their star driver. what happens when your paths cross and you find yourself questioning your feelings for each other? [2.8k]

[lando norris x reader]

masterlist | previously

warnings: angst, mentions of sex

note: hi friends! I'm so sorry i've been a little awol recently. like i said before, I had been prepping for a big trip. I am studying abroad for a few months and I am slowly starting to settle in. this chapter is an insight on Lando's point of view, exploring his feelings and such. This does mean that this series will be coming to a close soon, one or two chapters at most will be added after this. Thank you guys so much again for reading and for being patient with me! Happy reading <3

Lando hadn’t been looking for anything serious. He wasn’t the type, or at least that’s what he told himself. He was young, successful, and people often told him how lucky he was to live the life he had. Fast cars, travel, a wide circle of friends—what more could he ask for? He wasn’t sure what to make of her at first. Their initial exchanges were easy, filled with harmless flirting and the occasional back and forth. Magui was gorgeous—there was no denying that—and they got along well enough.

Weeks went by with casual texting, late-night conversations, and occasional meet-ups whenever they could. They had met at a party a few months ago, and things had escalated quickly from casual texting to late-night conversations—the kind where they laughed a little too loudly, even over the phone. He met her when he could between races, and sometimes they kissed, letting the evening unravel into something more. The first time they kissed was in the darkness of a nightclub, lights flashing around them, the music loud enough that he couldn’t hear his own thoughts.

He kissed her because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. His lips found hers, and everything else fell away. The next thing he remembered was stumbling into her apartment, their lips barely separating as they fumbled with the door, their clothes falling off as they made their way toward her bed. It felt right. At that moment.

It was fun, exhilarating even. They knew each other on a physical level that went beyond any of his past experiences. In the dim haze of his newfound adulthood, this was what Lando thought he needed. And people thought they looked good together, so why not? It could work.

But something still didn’t feel complete. He began to wonder if he was missing something, something more.

Then he met you.

Lando had noticed you before he had even spoken to you directly. There was something different in the air around you as you moved through the hospitality suite. He remembered watching you stand near the garage, focused, observing everything but never really interacting unless needed. It intrigued him. You weren’t a fan, he could tell—not in the way some others were. Unlike most, you didn’t treat the drivers like celebrities; you treated them like people. It was refreshing. He watched you from a distance at first, trying to figure you out. You were polite but distant, professional.

You weren’t the kind of person to seek attention, and that intrigued him. You were there, working quietly, your head down, but always aware of your surroundings. He liked that.

After that first day, he found himself wandering back into the hospitality suite, dodging journalists and photographers as he snuck away to find you. He always made up an excuse to see you, not fully aware of the brewing feelings in the back of his mind.

You were friends, exchanging late-night calls, staying behind sometimes at the hospitality suite to keep you company as you arranged things back into their places. He’d ask you questions about your life outside of racing, curious about the parts of you that didn’t revolve around the sport. Over time, you opened up more to him. You indulged in his mannerisms, leaning into him when the opportunity arose. He gradually picked up on your habits, like the way you concealed your smile behind your hands or how you fiddled with the long ties of your work apron. Seeing you began to make his heart race.

The more you interacted, the more fascinated he became. Without even realizing it, you became someone he relied on. When he was feeling down after a tough race or just needed a distraction from the world, he found himself texting you, sending you stupid memes or random thoughts. And you always replied, often with that teasing wit he’d grown to love. It made him feel like you were more than just a part of his world—you were becoming his world.

The moments that made his heart race became more frequent—a photo of your smile, a teasing emoji after a flirty remark, or that time you sent him a voice note, laughing at something he had said.

That laugh... it stuck in his mind for days. He found himself cringing at the thought, comparing it to music. But truly, was a melody, a song he never wanted to stop hearing.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

He hadn’t even realized how touchy he was with you until someone—probably Carlos—pointed it out. “Mate, you’re always finding an excuse to be near her,” he had teased, nudging Lando with his elbow.

Lando shrugged it off at first, but the truth was, Carlos wasn’t wrong. Whenever you were near, his hand naturally found the small of your back, his arm draping over your shoulder when you both walked together, or his fingers brushing against yours when you handed him something. The touches were light, casual—but they weren’t insignificant. You leaned into his touch, beginning to feel at home. It felt so natural, like you’d always been in his space.

Lando felt the shift long before he was willing to admit it. It was subtle. The way you began to pull away during team events, your texts becoming shorter and less frequent. Your touches were more hesitant, less willing to stay in his arms when they enveloped you. More quiet when others were around, and even more so when it was just the two of you. He racked his brain trying to figure out what went wrong, but every time he thought about asking, he stopped himself. Could he be imagining it?

He tried distracting himself, telling himself it was nothing. There was always Magui, after all. She’d been popping in and out of his life more times than he could count, and every time he thought he was done, she found a way back in. Sometimes, when he felt lonely or frustrated after another awkward interaction with you, he’d slip into old habits. He’d wake up in Magui’s bed, her arm draped over his chest, and he’d tell himself it didn’t mean anything. And it didn’t. Not really.

But it didn’t fill the gap. It didn’t make him stop thinking about you. No matter how hard he tried to push those thoughts away, they kept coming back. He missed you, he felt lonely without you in the busy world you both found yourselves in. You were the one he wanted, even if he couldn’t say it.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The night at the club was a turning point. You were there, a few drinks in, your inhibitions lowered, and for the first time in a while, you weren’t pulling away from him. He had to stop himself from kissing you when he first pulled you into his arms. Your perfume was one he almost hadn’t recognized, knowing you only wore it a few times when going out. He’d smelled it on you on the rare occasions when you weren’t working hospitality at McLaren dinners. It was so… you.

He spent most of the night watching you, unable to keep his eyes off your frame as you swayed drunkenly with Alex and Lily. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, couldn’t tear his gaze away from the way you were so you in that moment. Every time you moved in time with the music, he could feel himself falling deeper under the spell you unknowingly had him under.

He had to stop himself from kissing you right then and there when he pressed into you from behind, taking your hips into his hands. Your flowery scent mixed with the tang of alcohol and sweat was intoxicating, and it took everything in him not to lean down and meld his lips to yours.

He leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as the bass of the music thumped in his chest. He didn’t say anything, didn’t dare ruin the moment with words, but he knew you could feel the way his body responded to yours. The tension was electric, each second of your closeness like a silent admission that neither of you could avoid anymore.

You didn’t pull away. You didn’t tell him to stop. Your body felt heavenly against his, fitting right where it needed to. His hands were everywhere and nowhere all at once. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Lando’s thoughts were a mess. Every time your hips brushed against him, his breath caught, and his brain spun in circles, trying to make sense of what this was. Did you feel the same pull? The same desire that clawed at him every time you were near? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

The moment you stepped off the dance floor, Lando took your hand, leading you toward the darkened hallway. Neither of you said a word as you slipped into the bathroom, the music muffled by the walls around you. He pinned you against the cool surface of the sink, his lips crashing into yours with a desperation he hadn’t realized he was carrying. You kissed him back, just as hungry, and for a moment, he let himself forget the confusion, the hesitation, everything except the way your body felt pressed against his.

He wanted to take you right there and then, not wanting to wait any longer. Your soft moans sent shivers down his spine, and he wanted more—needed more. His hands slid down to the hem of your dress, ready to lose himself in you entirely.

And just as they did, there was a sharp, sudden knock on the door that had the two of you jumping. He cursed the Dutch driver as he pulled the two of you out of your lustful haze, grounding both of you back in reality. There was a sudden soberness instilled in your bodies as you left the restroom, only spurring him to drink more as the night dragged on.

The rest of the night was a blur. He remembered drinking more, trying to drown the frustration gnawing at him. But he knew one thing for certain: you had come home with him. He remembered your face hovering over him as he lay in bed, the soft light casting a glow around your hair like a halo.

You slipped under the covers beside him, and for a brief moment, everything felt perfect.

When he wakes up alone, he can still smell your perfume. It lingers on the sheets, the only proof that you were there the night before. He lies there, staring at the ceiling, his bed still warm from where you had been beside him, and he tries to convince himself that it doesn’t matter. That you’ll be okay, that things will eventually go back to normal.  

He sees his phone charging on the opposite bedside table and reaches across the bed to check it. It's almost dead, having just barely been plugged in. He reaches for it, expecting—hoping—for a message from you, but instead, it’s from her.  

already missing you, when are you coming over again? last night was fun ;)

It's a message he’s been avoiding, a message he’s been ignoring all night long. Lando swears under his breath, tossing his phone to the side. He hasn’t seen Magui in weeks, but she has a way of showing up at the worst possible times, like a ghost from his past that refuses to be laid to rest. He feels a wave of guilt wash over him. What if you saw the message? What if that’s why you left?  

But deep down, he knows that isn’t it. There’s something else going on, something more that you haven’t talked about, something you’re both avoiding. And he hates it.  

Sitting up in bed, he runs a hand through his messy curls, his mind racing. He can’t keep doing this—dancing around his feelings, pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn’t. He needs to talk to you, to figure out what’s going on, but the thought of confronting it scares him more than he’s willing to admit.  

Because what if you don’t feel the same way? What if this is all in his head, and you’re just trying to let him down gently? He can’t bear the thought of losing you completely, even if it means staying in this strange limbo where things are left unsaid.  

But one thing is clear—Magui isn’t what he wants anymore. Not really. She’s a distraction, a way to fill the void that has grown between him and you. But it’s not enough. You’re what he wants, the one who makes his heart race and his thoughts spin in ways he hasn’t felt before.  

Lando glances at his phone again, the urge to text you overwhelming. He types out a message, his fingers hesitating over the send button.  

Hey, can we talk?

Simple. Direct. But as his thumb hovers over the screen, doubt creeps in. What if you don’t reply? What if this is the end? 

Before he can hit send, he tosses his phone to the side once again, the message box now empty.  

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When he pulls you into his driver’s room, it’s not a decision—it’s instinct. Carlos’s words still ring in his ears, but it’s the image of someone else's hands on you, someone other than him, that makes his blood roar in his veins. His thoughts, his feelings, everything he’s been holding back solidifies in an instant. He crosses the distance between you, heart thrumming wildly in his chest. Without a word, his hands find your face, and his lips meet yours, slow and deep, pouring everything he’s never had the courage to say. You don’t pull away; you don’t ask questions. Maybe, somehow, you always knew.

It wasn’t like the kiss in the club—this one was softer, filled with all the things he couldn’t say. It’s tender, woven with unspoken confessions, full of the vulnerability he’s buried for too long. His hands slide to your waist, pulling you impossibly close, and you match his intensity, your body melting into his, as if you’ve both been waiting for this moment forever. 

Neither of you speak—words would only shatter the fragile understanding that lingers between you. Slowly, he rises, his mind a whirl of confusion, already imagining what he might say the next time he sees you. Surely, this couldn’t be the end. All those moments—the brushes of your hands, the late-night calls, the silent glances that spoke louder than words—surely they weren’t meaningless?

But as quietly as you slipped into his room, you slip out and away. He’s left sitting in the dim light, staring at the bed, his heart still racing but now hollow. You left without a word, but this time the emptiness feels sharper. You had clung to each other as though trying to hold back the inevitable, a storm of passion that left him breathless. Yet, as he had laid on your chest, listening to your heartbeat fade into silence, he can’t shake the feeling that this was an ending. That whatever it was you had—whatever it could have been—was slipping through his fingers like sand.

Slowly, he rises, his mind a whirl of confusion, already imagining what he might say the next time he sees you. Surely, this couldn’t be the end. All those moments—the brushes of your hands, the late-night calls, the silent glances that spoke louder than words—surely they weren’t meaningless?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When the next race weekend arrives, Lando paces restlessly through the hospitality suite. His stomach is in knots, his mind spinning at a pace faster than he’s ever driven. He goes over the words he’s rehearsed a thousand times in his head, thinking about how he should’ve spoken sooner, how he should’ve laid everything bare instead of relying on touches and stolen moments to convey what he’s felt for so long. Fifteen minutes pass. You’re still not there.

In the time he’s known you, he’s learned that you’re never late. Even when you were nervous or uncertain, you would always show up. Maybe it’s just traffic, he tells himself, trying to ignore the gnawing pit in his stomach. Maybe you’ll arrive later. But you would’ve told him, right? You always told him.

Then the doors open, and his heart stumbles in his chest, but it’s not you.

“Oh, she quit,” a colleague tells him when he asks for you. “Her contract was ending anyways, something about heading back to university.”

The words hit him like a cold wave, their meaning sinking in with agonizing slowness. You’re gone. Just like that. No warning, no farewell, no final glance. As he stands there, staring at the space where you should be, at the bar, at the tables you once hovered over, the reality crashes down on him with the weight of a thousand unsaid words.

And in that moment, the depth of his loss becomes a stark, aching reality.

tags: @horseymchorse3 @bluebluesol @sltwins @sarx164 @f1fantasys @obxstiles @moonvr @spideylovin @lipstickstateofmind @rafeyybabyy

a/n: hi everyone, thank you much if you've gotten to this point! I really loved being to explore Lando's point of you and seeing more of his side of the story. let me know what you guys think of it, i always love to see what you guys have to say!

[hyufucks]

𓆩♡𓆪 dry humping ` w/soobin !

c. warning(s) — catholicism!au, dry humping, sub/dom dinamics, boobs/nipple play, corruption kink.

w. count — +8k (i'm so sorry)

✦ minors do not interact.

the first time you saw him, you thought he was the cutest and pretty boy you've ever seen. his pretty glasses made him look prettier than he already was, his dimples that stood out notoriously and his beautiful smile made you lose your sanity little by little.

and of course, you wanted to corrupt him.

you knew through loose tongues that the dear choi soobin is a virgin, literally a virgin. he was never touched by anyone, he never gave his first kiss and he never had his first orgasm.

you wondered how someone so beautiful and hot at the same time never did one of those things in his twenty one years.

then you remember that he is a catholic and that his father works as a priest, in addition to the fact that his mother and older brother are part of the church choir, which you attend every sunday.

of course, the fact that he is a virgin because of his religion has nothing to do with it, since you are also a catholic and yet you have already experienced the things that were previously mentioned.

you almost gave up hope of having any kind of affair with him. until, incredibly unexpectedly, soobin talked to you about his curiosity about the things you did.

and in that very moment, you knew that things would end differently than they began.

“and hey, how does it feel to have a you know…” soobin tried to finish the sentence, but his lips were automatically repressed and his cheeks heated.

"an orgasm? it's pretty amazing if you're with the right person" you answered with total nonchalance, but inside you were itching to kiss his lips and touch every part of his body "but soobin, have you ever jerked off?" this time your tone was more curious, anxiously awaiting his response.

the boy opened his eyes as wide as he could when he heard that question. you noticed how his face became even redder and how he swallowed every moment.

he adjusted his tie slightly before opening his mouth to reply i-i tried, but i couldn't. i didn't think it was right thinking about..."

"thinking about what?" you interrupted him when you noticed that he was again not going to finish the sentence.

he looked into your eyes and then looked away again and sighed loudly "thinking of y-you".

there was a silence for about two minutes in which you could perfectly hear soobin's heart pounding, clenching his fists.

you approached him and took his face with your hands, forcing him to look at you. you caressed his warm soft skin, smiling sweetly at him.

"can i kiss you, pretty boy?" you asked close to his lips and slowly. He nodded repeatedly as he closed his eyes, letting your lips and his connect for the first time.

your dream of kissing him came true. and his dream of being kissed by you also came true.

you moved your lips gently so that soobin knows how to pick up the rhythm little by little, caressing the hairs on the nape of his neck and pulling gently, causing him to moan against your lips.

you smiled in the middle of the kiss as you felt his hands holding your hips and pulling you closer to his. you intensified the kiss once he got used to the rhythm, creating desperate movements from both of you.

you separated slightly from him, looking into his eyes, noticing that his became slightly dark.

"honey, will you let me touch you?" you asked gently. he nodded again, but you denied "use your words".

"y-yes. you can touch me" he replied embarrassed. you smiled again before reconnecting your lips with his.

slowly your hand traveled to his chest and you rubbed circles with your fingertips, touching his toned abs.

then your hand moved carefully down to his thigh, resting there and squeezing gently, earning you a sigh from him.

you finally directed your hand to his growing bulge, feeling his erection in need of attention. you pressed there carefully and gently, making soobin moan desperately.

"can i do something that will benefit us both?"

when he accepted, you took his hand and led him to another part of the building. you asked him to sit on the confessional chair, obeying instantly.

his eyes widened and he felt the lump form in his throat as he saw you snuggled up on top of his coming bulge, slamming your center into him.

his hands automatically went to your waist, and yours went to the back of his neck, drawing him closer to you.

"binnie, do you trust me?" he nodded slowly with a shy smile on his face "good, but tell me if you want to stop at some point".

his eyes snapped shut and his mouth opened slightly as you began to rub against him, creating a painfully arousing friction.

you grabbed his tie and yanked it forward, crashing your lips to his again. His movements were still a bit clumsy and inexperienced, but you honestly didn't care at all.

both were enjoying this moment. both were living out their own dreams and fantasies.

soobin tightened his grip on your waist, digging his nails and forcing you to move faster than before. you smiled in the middle of the kiss at his desperation, surprised that he's so needy.

you broke the kiss to guide your lips to his neck, gently sucking and biting at his perfectly manicured skin.

he moaned audibly as you sank your teeth into his flesh, turning him into a burst of low moans and groans.

your kisses moved up to his jaw, his cheeks and close to his lips, just at the corner.

"soobin, you can touch me if you want" you whispered close to his face without stopping moving. he nodded enthusiastically, looking embarrassed at your breasts, swallowing a bit.

his hands left your waist and went to your breasts, touching them softly and fearfully, looking into your eyes to see if he was doing it right.

"that's it, baby. apply more pressure if you wish. don't be shy…"

he obeyed almost instantly, squeezing your breasts a little tighter, feeling incredibly good to finally touch what he always wanted.

his fingers caught your hard nipples and he caressed them gently. his mouth practically watered as he watched your breasts move slightly with each movement you made on his tight bulge.

he met your eyes once more before working up enough courage to tilt his head down slightly, connecting his plump, wet lips with one of your nipples.

you sighed audibly and took a handful of his hair, burying his face even deeper between your breasts.

he moaned against the fabric that covered your nipples as he heard you gasp for him, causing his lower belly to vibrate and heat as time passed.

"just like that, binnie" you congratulated him and incited him to continue "what a good boy you are, aren't you?" he nodded happily at your compliment, warming his cheeks.

you put one of your hands on his knee, leaning back a little to get another angle and position. your hips continued to move at a faster pace, working your wet center right up against his sticky tip, increasing the need for both of you to orgasm.

you took his face in your hands and forced his mouth to disconnect from your nipple. His lips formed an adorable pout at having stopped his movements.

"how are you feeling soobin?" you asked with a broken voice "remember when i described to you the moment in which a person has an orgasm? how his body acts and how it feels?" he nodded quickly "do you feel that way now, darling?"

"i feel like i'm about to explode..." he murmured, pressing your hips tighter again "i feel good, but I need to release something that is inside of me".

you kissed him again, biting his lips as you felt your legs and stomach vibrate from the warm sensation of the approaching orgasm.

"you're about to have an orgasm, love" you warned him between moans and with heavy breathing "just let yourself go, okay? don't be afraid. i'm here with you".

soobin hid his face in the crook of your neck, paying attention to you and letting himself be carried away by the wave of pleasure that his body was having. he sobbed softly and his body stiffened as he felt his pants and underwear get stained by his hot cum, making your underwear and lower thighs sooaking as well.

the feeling and thought of helping him have his first orgasm made your body tense as well, squeezing his shoulder and hair.

you felt your orgasm hit you hard, clouding your vision, covering your ears with muffled sounds, letting your lips escape a loud moan.

you kept sitting on him for a moment, kissing every part of his face before reaching his lips, pressing a soft, chaste kiss.

you stood up as best you could with your legs shaking and helped soobin stand up too. you caressed his face and kissed the tip of his nose, smiling sweetly at him.

"you did a good job, sweetheart." you ruffled his hair and he laughed softly at the caress and compliment.

soon you felt his arms around your waist to form a hug, hiding his face again in your neck.

"you were right" he said quietly, almost to himself "an orgasm feels pretty amazing if you're with the right person".

your face heated up and you formed a happy smile at his comment, not knowing that he was the same as you.

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen the Pointless episode today that mentions Michael?

Hi there! I know this is from yesterday, but I'm assuming this is referring to one of the contestants on the show revealing herself to be a nanny for Michael and AL. I did indeed see the clip in question, and while I don't have that specific part available, @invisibleicewands posted some screenshots here. The woman herself also posted part of this moment to her business' Instagram:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Piccoline Parenting (@piccolineparenting)

I think more than anything, I was a bit taken aback, as when it comes to nannies/au pairs/other domestic employees, it's my understanding that there is usually a GDPR/NDA in place that prevents said employees from disclosing who their clients are. I realize that it is possible that Michael (or Anna) gave permission for her to say this on national television, but I also can't really picture Michael ever giving permission, especially not when something like this has a chance of putting the kids at risk. (Not intentionally, of course...just that all it takes to find someone's location these days is a little information and frighteningly few clicks of a mouse.)

What's not surprising, though, is Michael and AL actually having a nanny, as we knew they had one in New York in early 2020 when they just had Lyra. And with Michael being so busy with work at the moment, it makes sense that he wouldn't have time to be as hands-on as he would like/want to be. From what was said on the show, the nanny is from Swansea, so it could also be that she is their nanny in Wales, but not in London, but I am not entirely sure.

It's also interesting to me that, of all the clients this Mel lady must have, that she specifically mentioned Michael and AL. (It's also worth noting that she said Michael's name readily, and then actually seemed to pause/hesitate before saying Anna's.) Again, a logical conclusion would be that Michael has been on Pointless previously and is a longtime fan/friend of the show, so this nanny saw it as a way of connecting her more to the host/the show itself. Whatever the case may be, the whole thing is giving "broken privacy policy" vibes, and I'm very curious as to what (if anything) happened between her and Michael/AL after the show aired.

Those are my thoughts, at any rate. If anyone who has more knowledge of/experience with GDPR or NDAs would like to weigh in, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments...

[nephilimeq]

Hey, I was just wondering what age you thought Derek was in season one? Cause it’s a heavily debated and unknown piece of information. Me personally I always thought he was 19 in the pilot, and this was before I had read anything about the writers wanting him to be that age in the pilot. It was just the way he acted, to me, it doesn’t seem like a mid-20s man. Also stiles says the fire happened “ like ten years ago” but then a few episodes later Peter says he’s been in a coma for 6 years. So I was just curious what you thought. Also stiles saying that is always made out to be taken as it literally happened exactly ten years ago, and people always bring it up but they never talk about how long Peter said it had been.

Sorry if this is long I just enjoy your blog and your thoughts. I wanted to share mine while also hearing it from your perspective. Hope you have a wonderful day, you deserve it!

This is a very tricky subject to handle, because the writers made mistakes in their own timeline so they switched things around.

But in the very first episode Stiles says that Derek is only a few years older than them. I always figured that Derek was around 19 in Season 1, while Stiles was 16.

The reason why they messed everything up so horribly is because they hadn't actually created a timeline for all the events when they started writing, and to me, it made the show feel like a fan fiction writer who was just making it up as they went and then all the reviewers were saying, "Hey, you have a few continuity errors," and instead of trying to make it work, they just made something up and didn't really try to go back and adjust anything.

There's a scene that happens when Stiles is asking Peter and Cora about Derek's past (Season 3, Episode 8 "Visionary"), and he is trying to find out how old they are, and this train wreck section of dialogue occurs:

Stiles: Okay, if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old were you? ...How old are you now? Peter: Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think. Stiles: Okay, that was frustratingly vague. How old are you? Cora: I'm seventeen. Stiles: See, that's an answer. That's how we answer people. Cora: Well, seventeen how you'd measure in years. Stiles: Alright, I'm just gonna drop it.

This dialogue made me so pissy when I heard it the first time because I knew that this was the writers' response to the viewers and fans. The fans are Stiles in this conversation, and the writers are Peter and Cora being purposely "frustratingly vague" in the hopes that we'll just "drop it", which a lot of us did because they wouldn't give us any straight answers.

They messed up and they know it.

In my head canon -- because it makes the most sense to me -- Derek is three years older than them. Canonically, Derek is actually only ten days older than me, as seen in this enhanced screencap right here (from Season 1, Episode 11, where Kate has him kidnapped and held up in chains):

So according to this he would have been around 22, about to turn 23 in the first season...but here's something to take into consideration. This driver's license isn't for California -- it's for New York. I have a theory that he got a professional fake I.D. so that he could do more jobs (such as bartending) while he was out of state.

Now, when Stiles mentions the fire was "like, ten years ago," I genuinely think that he was just generalizing. Derek was sixteen when Kate took advantage of him raped him, which means that the fire happened when Stiles was around twelve/thirteen (as he has a canonically April 8th birthday, so it all depends on the months).

Regarding anything Peter might have said...please remember that it has been firmly established in the show that Peter is an unreliable narrator. Stiles openly admits that to Cora in the previously mentioned Season 3, Episode 8, "Visionary".

A lot of these issues are because of the lack of consistency from the writers.

I think the biggest problem was when they cast a younger Peter and totally threw the timelines off, trying to make him only a few years older than Derek -- which he wasn't. Peter is Derek's uncle, for crying out loud! The man would have been in his late twenties, early thirties when Derek was a teen, barely looking any different than he does in the show...and yet the writers and producers thought that making him look almost like a teenager was the right call.

I do think it was a last ditch attempt to try and make Derek waaay older than Stiles because they didn't like the shipping -- but they had already established too much of their timeline at that point and simply messed up and didn't have the guts to admit it.

Simply put, I genuinely think Derek was nineteen and turned twenty during season one.

Hope that answers your questions, anon!

[one-flower-one-sword]

(this is illuminatedferret)

One little thing I am curious to hear your thoughts on, but that I don't really want to clutter our ongoing monster discussion with: considering his track record with orchestrating events across canon, if Jun Wu already knew about the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, do you think Xie Lian and co. stumbling upon it was genuinely happenstance, or do you think he was conspiring for them to wind up there?

it did indeed become a monster discussion, didn't it XD I cherished it though

ok so hi, this is an excellent question, thank you for sending it!! I wondered this exact thing myself many times while pondering those chapters. caveat that I honestly don't know if I can give a satisfying answer because iirc it's never stated clearly by the text. We do get this:

Mu Qing tore at the silk as he yelled. "I knew you were the one who threw us into that pit!"

[...] With the match decided, Hua Cheng sheathed his scimitar. "I threw you in to save you from disaster. Otherwise, you would've never had a chance to find this Cave of Ten Thousand Gods," he jeered. "And it was your yelling that caused the avalanche. Why don't you thank me for saving your puny little lives?"

(Vol 6, page 64)

but it has to be kept in mind that Mu Qing and Feng Xin accidentally causing the avalanche that landed them in the cave is based only on the information they have at the time.

so, on the the one hand, I don't want to fall into the trap of attributing everything that happened to Jun Wu's manipulation, and he could have simply used the aftermath of that avalanche to his advantage. on the other, he is the master of the Kiln, and the Mount Tonglu area is a place he has immense power over. there's also the fact that 1. Xie Lian had a nightmare/vision of seeing Bai Wuxiang after the avalanche and that B., it separated Xie Lian from Hua Cheng, at least temporarily.

I mention the separation because it provided Xie Lian some time to explore the cave without Hua Cheng there to try and steer him away immediately. I'm trying to side-step our whole "did Jun Wu know Hua Cheng is Wuming" discussion so we don't get entangled in that again, but I think what we did agree on is that Jun Wu knows, to some extent, that Hua Cheng worships and desires Xie Lian, yes? and also that he's correctly deduced that Hua Cheng still hasn't dared to tell Xie Lian any of this because he fears his reaction. so from that angle, it would make sense that he'd conspire for them to wind up there, especially with Mu Qing and Feng Xin in tow, since they basically do Jun Wu's work for him in how they try to change Xie Lian's opinion on and view of Hua Cheng as a person and of Xie Lian's relationship with him by force, by painting Hua Cheng's love, devotion, and desire as something twisted, disgusting, and dangerous. And when that isn't enough to sway Xie Lian, Jun Wu uses their likeness, as we've discussed previously, to try and manipulate Hua Cheng into hurting Xie Lian himself, because surely then Xie Lian would finally reject Hua Cheng and tell him to stay away :

It seemed like they were purposefully trying to provoke Hua Cheng. But there was no reason for that; they knew they couldn't beat him, so what did they want? Moreover, their tone subtly pointed the spear in Xie Lian's direction. It was like they wanted to stir up confusion - as though they wanted Hua Cheng to do something to Xie Lian in a fit of anger.

(Vol 6, page 72)

Then when all of that doesn't work either - and, in fact, only brings hualian closer together by causing them to confess their feelings for each other - Jun Wu immediately tries to fracture their relationship from another angle :

"Don't worry, I simply sent him outside the Kiln. Even if he wants to rush back in here, it's too late now." [...] "But it's probably for the best that he doesn't come in," White No-Face continued. "Even if he wouldn't agree right now, who knows if he'll still want to be with you when he sees what you'll become."

(Vol 6, page 106)

Of course, Jun Wu's main objective in getting Xie Lian and himself alone inside the Kiln is that he wants Xie Lian to walk the exact same path as him, to become exactly like him. But I'm bringing all this up because I think it can't be overstated how much Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's relationship was an obstacle to those plans, and how far Jun Wu repeatedly went to try and "prove" to both Xie Lian and himself that no one can be trusted not to hurt and betray you, and that no one will stay with you no matter what. Because, in his mind, Xie Lian would then come to the same conclusion Jun Wu did - "understand" the same thing he did:

"He guessed what I was thinking and asked me slowly, 'Are you leaving too, then?' [...] And then His Highness murmured to himself, 'It's all right. I expected that. No one would stay now that I've become something like this. I can manage on my own. I understand now - I've always been alone! I don't need anyone!"

(Vol 7, page 215-216)

All this to say - I'm not sure. But with what we know about Jun Wu's power and the way he tries to make it look like he's not meddling while actually meddling all the time, plus the way he repeatedly manipulates events to try and keep Hua Cheng away from Xie Lian... it wouldn't surprise me if he wanted them to land in the cave, and used an avalanche as a cover to make that happen.

[alianoralacanta]

hiii alianora! i was thinking about your essay regarding ferrari PR 2022, and as a new fan i was wondering about the events that took after. did charles really threaten to leave ferrari and did ferrari hire vasseur for him (charles probably isn't the only reason but is it safe to say he played into the decision), charles denies he played a part in binotto's exit but then again he wouldn't expose team internal politics. a journalist leo turrini mentioned "Leclerc's fractured relationship with Binotto" as one of the reasons why his position was at risk when the rumors first came out, but i don't know how credible he is.

i also read that elkann had been looking into fred being a replacement a year before 2022 (if that Italian press report is to be believed), and that the former ferrari CEO actually wanted to bring fred into the team in like 2018 (?) because binotto was never meant to be TP, instead he would have been in the technical department if the CEO had his way.

i am most curious about if it is true that charles really did threaten to leave the team and if this was the final push for ferrari to hire vasseur. of course charles denies all this, ferrari denies all this, and i'm not so sure which reports to believe haha

Warning! Long post alert!

Firstly, I promise that I do not share my Tumblr account password with anyone and only I can read the messages in my inbox prior to posting the responses.

This disclaimer is because this is the second time in three Ferrari posts that my thought process has been interrupted by Charles Leclerc answering part of the question for me. In this case, he was in the press conference and it was mentioned that Mattia Binotto was going to Monza. Charles' face fell so fast (video) that it could only have been caused by hearing about Mattia's weekend plans. (I've heard that Nico Hulkenberg reckoned Mattia might not be Audi team boss yet, but am not yet sure what to conclude about this or Charles' reactions to this).

He never said one word against Mattia, did Charles. However, those who have followed my mini-series answering OP's Ferrari questions will understand by now that this makes things worse, not better. The silence indicates less liking and respect for Mattia, not more.

That is not someone who wants Mattia to be anywhere near him. This is one of those rare relationships within F1 where "fractured" might be the right word - and I don't think Charles has healed as much from it as he thought prior to the conference.

I don't think Charles had to say that he was threatening to leave Ferrari. Just say that he had to believe in the projects within which he worked. We can connect the dots, even if Charles was never going to leave in 2022 and that this qualifies as another "lie to defend his chosen team".

Rather like in 2023, where Charles didn't have to say he was considering Red Bull (even though he totally was), only hint that he was willing to respond to Red Bull's entreaties with more than a polite rebuff this time around. Plausible deniability through elision.

Verbum sapienti. The Ferrari board can take a hint ;)

The biggest factor, I think, in Mattia Binotto losing his place at Ferrari was that Mattia didn't truly know what to do with a plan that had progressed ahead of schedule. However, the board also knew that it couldn't long-range plan around Carlos Sainz the way it could around Charles Leclerc. Carlos may have understood the conventional part of Ferrari but could never have grasped the mythic element. (That won't be a problem for him at Williams, whose mythic element leaned heavily towards pragmatism and is more a light dusting rather than a major factor these days). I think Fred Vasseur has been interested in the Ferrari position for a long time, but I don't think Ferrari was ready for him until Mattia Binotto left. That was more to do with "vacancy and interest finally matched up" rather than anything Charles Leclerc-specific. Especially since Fred Vasseur had also previously worked with Carlos Sainz. I don't recall Fred even being in the conversation in 2018. There were two factions within Ferrari in 2018 for what should be done about its F1 team following Sergio Marchionne's death. There were those who supported Sergio's expressed preferences, including promoting Leclerc, and those who preferred to go a different direction, including keeping Kimi Raikkonen. I do not recall either side being confirmed as having a preference about the new Ferrari team boss, but I would not be surprised to discover each side had a different preference and that at least one of them had been disappointed on that front. Mattia Binotto had already been in a senior position on the technical side when all of this began, so he'd probably have been head of the engine or chassis department, or a technical director of both, had someone else been made the team principal.

[kald-dal-art]

Is Titus going to be appearing in your fanfiction?

for the first question, yeah he'll show up at some point. Not going to say when, but he will. Would have felt like a missed opportunity to not include him seeing as he is the one named character from D6 in the trilogy and the first named formerly fallen tribute (hell if I remember correctly he is the only former fallen tribute from a previous game that gets a name).

Also as mentioned in my earlier post I have a lot of thoughts around him, so he'll definitely going to be there.

For the second question...I'm not sure. I don't really know why my brain latches on certain concepts/characters more than others- but I will try to explain it. I think the first thing first is just how little we know about D6. Like it wasn't until the movies came out that we even learned what their industry even was. So you know I'm a bit curious what is their deal.

Fun side note looking up old fanworks for D6 it seemed that very heavily agreed headcannon back in the day was that D6 was the medicine district, just thought to mention that because I thought that was interesting.

But there are also other Districts we don't know a lot about so why D6? So I think the thing that interest me about D6 compared to the other lesser known Districts like 5, 9 and 10. Is that it seems to be something so much more bleaker about that district specifically, compared to the rest of them.

The two victors we meet in CF are really only known for their drug addiction and is treated as being shells of who they used to be. Also the first character from the District we even hear about is a kid that was so starved in the games he resorted to cannibalism. It gives the District a very hopeless and unstable vibe that we don't get from the other lesser known Districts.

Another point for why I got interested in D6 was the two victors we meet in CF. Like when it's mentioned all they did during training was painting colorful swirls on each other and then helping Peeta painting Katniss into a flower field...Idk that just got to me. Also the Female Morphling's death in the book got me sobbing when i reread it. Like bro why did that death have to go so hard 🫠

As previously mentioned they get treated as being such former shell on whoever they used to be and not fully there. But at the same they were trusted with Rebel's plans, probably knowing they couldn't do much to help but still did. Also they were some of the first Victors that joined in on the hand holding thing at the end of the interviews, so I thought that was neat and no one mentions that when discussing the character. So I will mention that.

So TLDR: The Victors of the District seemed interesting, which led to me being interested to learn more about their district in general ✌️

[vynegar]

lost in translation (ch 11, part 1) + some misc observations

a (non-exhaustive) list of differences i noted down for the translation of chapter 11 (part 1) while watching the chn and eng versions side-by-side. previously i did the same thing for chapter 9 and chapter 10. this also includes random comments and observations i had during this chapter.

disclaimer: i am not fluent in chinese, so keep in mind that there will be mistakes. feel free to let me know if you have questions, concerns, or comments. any alternate translations are my own, and are often especially literal (to show the difference between eng/chn).

Overall: Still nothing I’d consider egregious (ruinous to plot or character). Some omission of noncritical phrases in Chinese, like before. One thing I noticed more of is that the phrasing in English sometimes makes a line ambiguous or confusing, while the intention of the sentence in Chinese was much clearer. I have a few examples of these below; usually you can understand it using context clues, but I’m curious to know if other people noticed the issues when just reading in English. There were also some word choices that just felt a little… awkward? (It’s not here, but a few times when the word “grunt” was used…)

11-01

This may be a reference to Jerome's "preoccupation" with his age, like when he wanted to be called an older brother rather than an uncle (see my prev chapter translation comparisons). However, on second thought, this entire thing of his may be another nod to the idea of the pursuit of eternal youth and longevity? But honestly this is just a thought that crossed my mind, I don't really think that's the intention of the writers.

Based on the Chinese, it seems like Reina is older and Matthew is the younger brother.

The English could be interpreted as a hypothetical question, while the Chinese has Matthew directly saying that Vyn is unwanted. (Upon rereading, this is very minor and I would have left this entry out, but I already had the screenshot so I'll just put it here anyway.)

The Underling refers to Matthew using the suffix for people like presidents of companies (as he is a businessman). (Nothing wrong with the translation here, just again pointing out extra info that can be gleaned from the Chinese text.)

11-02

Marius refers to Matthew also with the same suffix.

This section also contains some references to Marius's previous stories:

Vyn was threatened with being locked dark space, which echoes one of Marius's childhood experiences (mentioned in his "In the Darkness" SSR and his blossom personal story, chapter 4)

Marius still can't hold his liquor, which we first saw in "Fabulous Feast" SSR

Ideally, this fear can extend into another thing --

"Of your own accord" gives the feeling of doing something of your own initiative, and voluntarily. The word used in the original text also implies that the thing was done secretly and/or without permission.

11-06

That last sentence felt like a mild warning, in which I could hear several inexplicably complicated emotions.

So the "complicated emotions" are on Vyn's side, not on Rosa's.

11-08

Rosa paints a very specific simile here but I'm honestly not quite sure what it's supposed to imply or if it's referencing something so I'm just going to put this here for reference. The literal translation says it's as if Marius "has hung a ring of keys at his waist and then forcibly drank 5 kg of puer tea".

11-09

[...] Even from the other end of the call, you can feel the embarrassment quietly spreading.

Not necessarily wrong, but the English sentence could almost be interpreted as the embarrassment is spreading throughout the phone, which doesn’t make sense and could cause a moment of confusion.

11-11

Dr. Richter, you haven’t chosen to believe anyone either, have you?

Note that in Chinese it’s not specified that Rosa is referring to “them” (the suspects in the case). It could usually be interpreted that way from context, but using “anyone” preserves ambiguity in Vyn’s response (i.e. it’s possible that Rosa or NXX are included in those that Vyn says he doesn’t trust).

(Sidenote: The beginning of the chapter emphasized the role of surveillance on NXX’s current actions. Therefore, Vyn might not trust anyone, or he might simply be saying what he wants other people to believe. It’s interesting to note that Marius, on the other hand, openly told Vincent in 11-08 that Rosa is the only one he trusts. Which, again, is likely influenced by the possibility of surveillance.)

11-13

After all, there is no way to detect psychological damage. Sometimes the parties involved are themselves not even aware of it.

11-15

By the time your mind has caught up with the situation, you had already placed yourself in his way without a moment’s hesitation.

I probably made more changes than necessary or literal, but it was to convey the feeling more. Then again, this may be one of those lines that seem fine to other people and I'm just stuck on my own knee-jerk impression of the English translation.

I think the English tries to convey "不暇思索地" with the phrase "you find yourself". However, this combined with the opening clause gave the impression that Rosa got caught up in the flurry of confusion, then just happened to find herself standing between Vyn and Darius. In Chinese, "不暇思索地" means something like “without thinking, without hesitation, without a second thought”. It adds a sense of instinctive protectiveness to Rosa’s action, which comes across in later lines of the English translation but I felt was lost in this line. This line was one of the most character-relevant issues I noticed in this chapter.

He looks over at you with rather undisguised astonishment.

11-16

Afterwards, he leaves them with a half-true threat.

Adds a little more playfulness to how he's threatening them with a lawsuit from Rosa.

If she were truly just a perpetrator, they [people online] would have pixelated the photos to prevent anyone from coming after her.

Subject issue, since it wasn’t explicitly stated in the sentence and it’s implied from the previous line.

11-20

Yeah, but I don’t want to answer that directly to your face just yet.

Probably nitpicky and most likely doesn't matter, but I’m going to point out the details since this seems like a foreshadow-y line.

Then he releases his foot and smiles seemingly gently at the young man.

Most of the time the “seemingly” can be (and is) left out in translation, but I think it’s better to keep it here since Vyn probably isn’t actually being gentle.

11-21

Look man, we didn’t do anything. We’re not gonna go asking for trouble.

Contributes to the idea that Luke’s best course of action is just not getting involved this whole incident and continuing with his work.

…No, even names that haven’t been carefully considered can bear meaning.

Thoughtful = “having a lot of thought put into it” would be fine here, but I feel that the more colloquial interpretation of thoughtful (“kind, compassionate”) would be strange since giving Albie a name is itself said to be a kind action. In Chinese, the word used specifically means carefully considering, deliberating, etc.

...you never directed your thoughts toward that direction.

Actually, I don’t think this would be considered an error in translation. I think the metaphorical phrasing is just almost opposite between eng and chn so it stood out to me. In chn it's more like thinking further in that direction; in eng, it’s more like finding a new position to position yourself, then view the situation and do your thinking from that angle.

I also have an analysis post about Albie's name which also involves comparison across eng/chn! Anyway, thanks for reading this far and feel free to let me know your thoughts ^^

[forlorn-crows]

What is it about mountain/Hayden that you like so much? I agree because 👀 but I'm curious what it is for you.

oh anon. you've activated my trap card. where do i begin about this wonderful man/ghoul.

this will be long. i will save your dash by putting it under a cut:

firstly. who is the backbone of a band if not a drummer. he is the literal rock of the group besides papa himself. ive always liked percussion, especially the precision you need in order to play the instruments well. hayden is such an accurate and well-versed drummer, in my opinion. does he play the most complicated songs? no. (i mean, look at II of sleep token, that man is c r a z y) but he's talented and has variety in his musical repertoire.

did you know he can play guitar too? and he composes music. he has an entire soundcloud of scores and works with his friends on their projects (jutty w/drag talk, dylan w/into the vortex). so not only does he play the music, he can write it too. which, i think, is crazy talented. not everyone can do that---everyone in ghost is crazy talented, in general, and its gonna be hard for tobias to keep people like hayden around for a super long time.

i dunno, hayden as a person just seems super sweet, someone who's happy to support his friends and also do cool things for himself.

he's got some cute lil doggies too. and i, as a dog person, appreciate that he dresses his dog up all cute, poses her for a picture, and posts it for her birthday klsfdj

so uh, in terms of looks . . . i mean, this man is fucking fine and i will NOT hear hayden slander. i dont care that he's a tall white beanpole of a boy, he's cute. he's just a big cute nerd. and you know whats weird? i dont normally like tall men. but something about him makes my brain go...hhhh t a l l.

his nose? his eyes? his cute fucking smile? even his stupid expressions when he drums, he's so into it. i love it. apart from his face his...his hands oh my fisdjkkd. his big hands. i want them on me. pls. and his tattoos??? lskjdfsd his tatTOOS. some of the pictures of him with his forearm ones showing i cant even breathe i stg.

uhhh fun fact he's a taurus. his birthday is 4 days before mine.

i dont know. hayden just seems like a warm, kind person. which is probably the biggest reason i like him as a person.

okay wrapping up with hayden, onto mountain. i will try my best to keep this short but i really truly feel i could go on about him for a g e s.

first of all. as previously mentioned, i am a taurus. and, true to that, i am earth aligned myself, always have been. obviously, anything that i think of mountain is my own and common fanon. but earth is calming, it feels like home to me. that connected feeling you get when you get your hands in the dirt or that wash of satisfaction you get when its perfect weather outside. earth is strong, hearty, resilient.

he's a grounding presence, one of the backbones of the pack (aside from being the backbone of the band). and you know what i think? i think he seriously doesnt get enough credit or attention. and maybe he feels that way too, at the very least, alone on his podium up there on stage. and maybe its me projecting onto him, but, you know, i know how that feels. to also be relied on to be that grounding presence (like aether too) constantly, even when going through turmoil personally. so i connect strongly to that. to be the one, as harsh as it sounds, taken for granted.

on a lighter note, i just know hes such a gentle ghoul. of course he has a harder side, but it takes a lot to get him there (unless you ask of course). hes sensitive, loving, thoughtful, just the real definition of a gentle giant. a giver, more than anything. wants the best for his pack, in every aspect. is always looking out for them and finding ways he can show his love. big on gift giving, i bet, especially handmade things.

i dont know if this sounds weird, but mountain seems to lean more into the feminine energy than say a ghoul like omega or swiss. less of a 'big' presence, despite his size. fits in well with the girls, prefers quiet company. and thats something i always lean into, regardless of gender. not to say there's nothing masculine about him, but i think y'all know what i mean. his ideal day is probably sitting with like-minded company, maybe outside, enjoying a book or working on plants or doing some sort of craft or baking.

it also doesnt help that mountain essentially looks like a ghoul-ified hozier in my brain slkdflj. long mousy brown hair with auburn tones, proud nose, deep green eyes, warm olive-toned, medium gray skin, super freckly with soft patches of hair on his tummy, his sternum, his legs, his balls, you just look at him and want to hug him. want him to pick you up and carry you to a secluded meadow somewhere and for him to ramble about the plants you see along the way in that deep, rumbly voice of his.

and dude dont even get me STARTED on mountain as a lover. holy hell that ghoul can FUCK. always focused on his partner, so fucking sensitive, will worship the others body/bodies for as long as they'll let him. big on praising. soft. so fucking soft (but you know, he's got that HOT AS FUCKLSDJLFJ possessive side. that all consuming 'i need to have you' side. and a lil bit of a heavy hand, if they ask) and the NOISES I KNOW THIS GHOUL FUCKING MAKES IT PLAGUES ME EVERY DAY. the softest of groans, the breathy moans, *bangs fist on the table* the WHIMPERING. listen, y'all know how i feel about puppy mountain. that ghoul fucking WHIMPERS okay?! i need him. SO fucking bad. you already know how i write him. you know what i like. you know how it is. you know how i turn him needy 50% of the time, the ghoul you think has a giant dick and tops everyone? nuh uh. that boy is BOTTOMING a good chunk of the time too.

okay im rambling. im sure you can understand why i love hayden and mountain so much. sigh. he's the one for me. theres a lot of things that do it for me. you can count on me never shutting up about him.

xx

[corviiids]

I saw your post about Achilles and Patroclus (the one for the ask game) and it was really interesting, I like the points you made and I enjoyed reading it, but I have a question about Achilles' bloodlust before Patroclus' death: what about what he did to Troilus? This happens before Patroclus' death in most accounts, so Achilles is very brutal with it for someone, who says he prefers to ransom the Trojans rather than kill them.

Yes, Troilus had to die, if the Achaeans wanted to win the war, but his death didn't have to be so brutal. Furthermore, Achilles kills him in a sanctuary (Apollo's temple) with no regard for the consequences, and then throws the kid's head to Hector and a few other of his brothers (there are also even more severe versions about what Achilles did to this kid before and/or after killing him)

And then there's Polyxena, who usually is accompanying Troilus and gets kidnapped (and most likely r*ped) by Achilles after he kills her brother. In some versions she was partially the cause of Achilles' death, setting up his ambush by her brothers in Apollo's temple (which in my opinion seems like her way of avenging Troilus' death).

And then the ghost of Achilles demands her sacrifice (either as revenge to her revenge or because he still wants to have her, or both, 'm not sure), otherwise the Achaeans wouldn't be able to leave Troy.

I'm really curious about your thoughts on what Achilles did to these two.

(The argument about the Iliad characters is never ending and there are tons of different takes and opinions. I'm not trying to pick up an argument, I just want to hear you take on this, maybe what versions of these myths you prefer, why do you think Achilles acted the way he did and how does it fit in his characteristic you wrote previously?)

hellooo yeah so first and foremost obviously due to the nature of mythology it's always going to be kind of impossible to have, like, one unified "version" of a character that brings together every depiction of them throughout history, as you said. i think every storyteller is going to add something to a figure that doesn't necessarily mesh with every other depiction. it's like spiderman. it's for that reason that in that post (i had to go read it again lol i forgot exactly what i said but im pretty sure) i only talked about events that happened in or were referred to in the iliad. i.. clearly.. dont have a very good memory so i could very much be wrong about this but i dont think polyxena is mentioned in the iliad and troilus is only mentioned by name, i don't thiiiiiink the story of his death is relayed? i could be wrong! but yeah all of which is to say if my characterisation of achilles seems inconsistent with other myths, it sometimes might just be because it simply is. i dont try to account for every myth bc i would explode into a shower of snails

that said though i think in this instance we can find a compatibility. my point in that post wasn't that achilles isn't ever bloodthirsty or brutal, only that he shouldn't be defined by his bloodlust. quoting my own post bc again i had to go reread it

it's not that he isn't violent or hasn't killed or that he has reservations about taking lives

it's uncontroversial that he committed a lot of pretty heinous acts and clearly has the capacity for great cruelty and does not really weigh kindness or compassion or charity as a major factor in his decision-making. from my post again

he doesn't fight to kill, he fights to win. that's not hugely different in terms of the outcome, given it is in a war context where defeat and death tend to mean the same thing, but it IS different from a personality and character perspective, because it tells us achilles is at worst indifferent to human life rather than actually being driven by a desire to take it. better? worse? doesn't matter, not my point - just different.

achilles is more than happy to commit atrocities. it doesn't bother him to do so, morally. indifference to human life is sometimes indistinguishable from being outright driven by a desire to kill first and foremost. sometimes it's worse. achilles kind of does what he wants - he enjoys excelling at things - he excels at killing. so, stands to reason he might take a particularly brutal or bloodthirsty action if he feels like it. im putting the rest of this under a cut because it got long again

achilles choosing to ransom lycaon isn't proof that he is a merciful soul. it's just that he isn't at war for the love of making war and ending lives in and of itself. he absolutely does not give a shit about lycaon at all as an individual. if someone doesnt have to die, he might decide to let them go (vs someone who's in this because they love killing and therefore would just kill anyway). or he might kill them. if someone DOES have to die, achilles wouldn't go out of his way to make it a kind end. he might if he feels like it. but he might not. the bottom line is he can be bloodthirsty, but that's not his core driving trait. he's not in this to kill, he's in this to win and to be remembered for it. the killing is incidental (if he wins enough then it doesn't matter if his victims survive or not), so it'll happen or it won't and it doesn't really matter to him. so yeah, a plea for mercy might work on him better than it might work on someone who really actively wants to kill people because maybe he has no particular stake in killing them, which is why ive said he isn't fundamentally driven by bloodlust. but like if achilles thinks it might be fun to kill someone in a brutal way, no voice in his head is gonna be like Whoa there champ! How about not doing that? bc his reasons for not killing aren't ethical concerns, it's just a byproduct of what drives him. this is a fine distinction i know but i think it's important. again im not arguing (and wont ever) that achilles is a good moral figure, it's more just about understanding who he is. the killing isn't his goal hence why hes willing to ransom trojan soldiers moreso than the other greeks but if he DOES kill he's probably also going to do it more brutally than others again because his reasons were never rooted in morality to begin with

basically in terms of how im able to marry my view of achilles not being driven by bloodlust with the fact that he does objectively violent and brutal acts, i think those things are compatible with each other bc he can be bloodthirsty without that being the core driving force of his character and the thing that makeshim what he is. does that make sense? the issue i was railing against specifically w that post was that he tends to be depicted as a guy who just wants to fight kill bite kill blood blood blood and i think he DOES act like that guy but that's not the be all and end all of him. killing is incidental to winning, but he can take it or leave it - what i refer to as the breakdown of achilles' character following patroclus' death is the transition in achilles from "i want to win, and i'll kill to make that happen" to "i want to kill for the sake of killing" it stops being about glory and starts being about destruction and pain

[exhausted-archivist]

Comparing and Contrasting Recipes From the Cookbook to Previous Mentions: The Differences, Similarities, and My Thoughts

A full list of recipes that have been previously mentioned in the series, coupled with my thoughts on the cookbooks working recipe in comparison.

I find interest in the fact that the working recipes have little to no grounding in lore as they are often in contradiction to the lore blurbs that accompany them or are in direct contradiction of in game recipes in instances that don't seem apparent as to why they made the ingredient change. Fluffy Mackerel Pudding being the exception to this.

But I broke this into 4 sections:

Previous Dishes Recipes and Their Differences

Drink Recipes

Lore Differences, General Notes

Short Summary of Opinion

Going to put all of this under the cut as it is super long.

Previous Recipes and Their Differences

Antivan Gnocchi This one was a curious one, as the dish was only recently introduced into Thedas in Tevinter Nights. I enjoyed the lore blurb for this recipe as it really anchored in some food and cultural facts you only hear in the anthology. However, the lore blurb describes the gnocchi as dressed with leeks and cheese sauce but then the working recipe... distinctly lacks any leeks and instead goes for a rather basic pine nut pesto sauce. Which puzzles me why they didn't just simply describe that rather than what is in the lore blurb.

Eggs à la Val Foret Originally mentioned in a note in Trespasser. It is described in the cookbook to have tons of cream and in the original note to have a cream sauce. However, the working recipe does not follow that criteria, using hollandaise sauce and giving this recipe a form of eggs Benedict, leaving the first case for why the recipes in the cookbook are likely not adhering to canon.

Black Lichen Bread This one I almost didn't include as the specification of black lichen has never been mentioned before in canon. However, we do know that in Origins we have mentions in Orzammar of lichen bread and in the lore blurb it specifies "this is lichen bread not bark bread" so I'm running with that. My thoughts on this particular recipe is the fact that instead of using a grain that would give a brown colour and mixing something like black seasame of gel food colouring to achieve the dark colour and instead used activated charcoal. Which shouldn't be anyone's first choice due to the known risks of consuming activated charcoal. Which is a whole post in and of itself that I went into here.

Dwarven Plum Jam The plum jam was first mentioned in Origins and has been remarked on multiple times since. There isn't really anything to contradict here in terms of the lore blurb, the working recipe throws me, because this recipe is not meant for long term storage outside of the refrigerator. Which is arguably not made clear enough as the final step says "The plum jam will keep for up to 6 months sealed in a cool place. Refrigerate after opening." Which contradicts the last line of the previous step "Store the jars in the refrigerator." As minor as they seem, these are pretty big distinctions. A cool place does not necessarily mean you keep it in the fridge, and this has to be kept in the fridge. The recipe doesn't call for any sugar so there is nothing actually preserving this for long term storage outside of it. So, it really isn't stressed at all and the wordage is conflicting. I would have adapted this for a smaller batch because 4-5 - 14oz jars in your fridge of the same thing take up a lot of space if you aren't giving them away. Additionally, I'd use allspice instead of cinnamon and vanilla extract. If you bloom the allspice before putting it in the plum reduction you get a much larger depth of flavor and you get the notes of vanilla and other things with it.

Fish Chowder First mentioned by Zevran in Origins while speaking of Antiva, the lore blurb carries the same theme. Speaking of how it is a dish that will bring you to Antiva city. There isn't much to speak of in terms of pre-established ingredients, however I find that the working recipe is a bit rich for a dish to be served to folks between a tannery and the coast. Which is a theme I have noticed in general with recipes of the poor or lower class. Instead of using them as simple, low-effort, and sort of beginner recipes they seem to evolve into one of the more complex. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would have preferred they took advantage of more humble recipes from lore as such things and add additional notes of possible things they could include to "elevate" the recipe as it is called.

Fish in Salt Crust This is Avvar in origin and first mentioned in the DLC Jaws of Hakkon. The lore blurb and in-game description say that this is made by wrapping the fish in pungent leaves and cooked on banked coals. However where the in-game description specifies that the fish and leaves are wrapped in clay, the cookbook's lore blurb replaces that with salt. To be honest when I heard it was wrapped in pungent leaves and clay/salt, I was thinking something akin to banana leaves or something of the sort. The working recipe however uses thyme and rosemary, herbs. Which is an understandable and accessible swap, however the conversion of clay to a salt crust confuses me as there are casserole dishes, terracotta dishes, and other cookware means to replicate the "clay" wrapping while cooking in an oven. Especially considering the recipe calls for 4.5-6.5 lbs (2.04-2.95 kg) of salt I think a cookware swap would have been more economical. That said I do love a good salt crusted fish.

Fish Pocket Though referred to as fish wraps by The Iron Bull in DAI, these are the same dish. The lore blurb says that they learned this recipe from the Bull's Chargers. Which would imply the working recipe is roughly the same. However in the game Bull describes it as fish wrapped in thin bread. The working recipe has these more akin to a hand pie or pasty, wrapping the store-bought salmon filet in pizza dough with minimal seasoning of salt, parsley, pepper, shallot, and egg.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding This recipe first debuted in Origins thanks to Mary Kirby and Sheryl Chee. It is in reference to the original weight watcher recipe and also the secondary example as to why the recipes likely aren't canon outside of the lore blurbs. The recipe in-game and the cookbook lore blurb calls for celery, eggs, mackerel and onion. The in game recipe also calls for Antivan pepper (Thedas replacement for cayenne), green pepper, mustard, salt, mace, cardamom seed and specifies the mackerel is to be poached. The working recipe calls for potatoes, smoked mackerel, butter, eggs, black pepper, and ground nutmeg. An entirely different dish for obvious reasons, as this dish was a play on a weight watchers recipe.

Found Cake First introduced in Origins and described very little aside from how it had likely seen better days as well as having mabari spittle on it. Something the lore blurb of the cookbook references. A new aspect of this cake coming from the cookbook is that it is a chocolate cream variety topped with white frosting and strawberries. Much like the item icon in Origins, though it should be noted the item icon is also shared with the sugar cake. As far as the working recipe, it's simple and sounds delicious.

Goat Custard This one is technically introduced in Inquisition, however it is not a desert custard but a savory one. It's actually not a custard at all but a broiled goat head. So, a very big switch up! I do enjoy this recipe as a whole though, from the wonderful short lore blurb to the rather simple recipe.

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew Previously only mentioned on a loading screen of DA2, this stew in the lore blurb is kept the same. A mysterious meat stew made every day, but not knowing what exact type of meat you might be eating. Personally, I find the working recipe in the cookbook too elaborate for a tavern that is known for its ill-reputable clientele and is described as smelling of sour ale, vomit, and desperation. The working recipe calls for olive oil, onion, garlic, pancetta, ground pork, tomato paste, dry red wine, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, canned corn, red bell pepper, chili pepper, bay leaves, allspice berries, clove, salt, pepper, paprika, caraway, oregano, sugar, lemon, and parsley for garnish.

Heath Cakes Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It also notes that it is traditionally made with halla butter but can be substituted with goat or cow butter, same as in World of Thedas. Hearth cakes are noted to be "common Dalish fare".

Lamb and Pea Stew This was a stew first mentioned in Origins and has been jokingly referred to since, even in the cookbook. Alistair's version of this dish is a uniform grey colour that leaves Leliana unable to discern that there was even lamb in the stew. Though the cookbook calls this King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew, it is clear in the lore blurb that Alistair's opinions on Fereldan cooking is incorrect save for throwing it in a large pot. Overall the working recipe is fairly basic; potatoes, oil, onions, ground lamb, tomato paste, beef stock, canned peas and carrots, pepper, paprika, butter, cream, nutmeg, cheese, and thyme. However instead of a stew, this working recipe instructs you in what would better be described as a casserole. Which isn't the first time that the cookbook deviates so strongly from the dish name or even lore description.

Llomerryn red Mentioned in the recipe for Merrill's Blood Soup and is another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 286.

Nug Pancakes A dish first mentioned in Origins along with the famed nug-gets. A recipe, unfortunately only referenced in the cookbook. Over all the gist of these is the same and the working recipe itself takes on a more developed and savory path than one would expect for something deemed to be a child's favorite. And by that I simply mean it is a high effort meal that I couldn't really see being served regularly outside of Orzammar's upper castes of nobles, royals, and warriors. As in Orzammar such spices as sugar, coriander, cumin, spicy hungarian paprika, chili powder, and the like would all be expensive surface imports.

Peasant Bread Originally shown in the novel Masked Empire as Michel de Chalon watches the Dalish make it for their midday meal and reminds him of his mother making it. Like the novel, the lore in the cookbook keeps the basic ingredients the same, a simple recipe of wheat, salt, and grease. The difference between the novel and cookbook lore is their chosen topping, Michel's mother would top his slice with sugar and the cookbook suggests butter and jam. The working recipe however, calls for an alternative of active dry yeast, flour, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and butter.

Pickled Eggs Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 285. It is also noted to be a popular Fereldan tavern food and cure all. The difference in tone between the two recipes is 'The Whole Nug' is written by an Orlesian and views the recipe with distaste, and the cookbook's narrator is Fereldan and speaks with a fondness. The recipe itself differs in that the World of Thedas calls for sugar, salt, vinegar, water, and boiled and peeled eggs while the cookbook - which notes it is providing a base recipe that you can customize - lists onion, bay leaf, allspice berries, cloves, mustard seed, peppercorns, dried chili pepper, caraway, water, sugar, salt, white wine vinegar, and eggs. It also suggest alternative herbs and spices such as rosemary, tarragon, dill, thyme, and curry or to include aromatics like beets, bell peppers, squash, and garlic. Overall, this is one of my favorite working recipes for how its formatted and how it encourages more openly with trying different seasonings. Though, I think the World of Thedas recipe is better as a "base" to build from. So if you do want to experiment, I think reducing to those basic 5 ingredients and building from there is the best way to go about it.

Roasted Cave Beetles Previously mentioned in the Dragon Age Tabletop RPG (TTRPG) in the Buried Pasts adventure, the dwarves eat the beetles in the shell after roasting them.

Roasted Wyvern This is an Orlesian and Avvar favored meal item, mentioned in Da2 and in World of Thedas Vol. 2. There really wasn't much description on the method of roasting, seasoning or anything. So there really was a lot of room to play with this. One thing I found curious was that they use turkey legs in the working recipe for wyvern meat. It is an interesting choice and one likely made due to the size of a turkey leg, as you can't necessarily make turkey steaks like the wyvern steak mentioned in the Rusted Horn.

Sera's Yummy Corn Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It was written in her hand and displayed as if it was slipped in. Like in the lore burb of the cookbook, it is specified that the corn used has to be yellow and "not that weirdly checkered stuff". That it needed to be "cake-hot, not forge-hot" and it required no pot or wrap, simply "steal-heat-peel". However, in contrast to both of those, the working recipe of the cookbook makes what would be a humble and delicious snack a little more. Introducing herb butter composed of parsley, chives, clove, red onion, butter, ground mustard, and has you boil the corn (it suggests pre-cooked?) in milk and sugar, before you grill or broil it and top it with chili pepper rings.

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels There really isn't much to say about this famous gag in Dragon Age. First mentioned in the dlc Mark of the Assassin, we get the first idea of what exactly is on this ham in the cookbook lore book. It comes with different glazes, Devon's favorite being a glaze composed of apples and apricots.

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie Originally mentioned in Dragon Age 2 and later in Dragon Age Inquisition, this dish is spoken to be both Sebastain Vael and Samson's favorite dish. It is a recipe that appeared in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 283. The working recipe in the cookbook vs The Whole Nug differs a fair bit. To start, the amount of ingredients between the two, the cookbook having 23 and The Whole Nug having 15. I couldn't really compare the two in which I would prefer, but I do have a leaning towards The Whole Nug due to it being more adaptable as well as being intentionally anchored in-world.

Stuffed Vine Leaves These were first depicted in the comic Deception, where they are in a tavern in Tevinter and in the background you see someone eating what looks like dolmas or stuffed grape leaves.

Sugar Cake Another Origins item, this cake is described as being a simple pound cake dressed in strawberries and sugar-cream icing. However, the lore blurb and the working recipe directly contradict this. The lore blurb describes it as a humble mixture of butter, sugar, and almonds. Then, directly references a line from the origins item description about how it is "the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of travel." They seemed to have given the cream icing and the strawberries to the aforementioned found cake and turned this into a simple pound cake with almond topping. Which works well enough, however I think if they swapped the names on the two recipes they would make more sense. The working recipe calls for such little sugar, I didn't quite get as much sweetness as one would expect from such a cake.

Turnip and Mutton Pie Previously mentioned in Inquisition on the Rusted Horn's menu in Crestwood, this is another recipe with more play for the cookbook as the game only offers the detail that such a dish is worth 3 coppers. The lore blurb in the cookbook makes it sound like a humble and filling dish as well as describing it as a double crusted pot pie versus just a top crust. Which is what the working recipe gives you. Which isn't surprising and is of little consequence one way or the other, especially considering that the working recipe is for an 11-inch (27.94cm) pie.

Drink Recipes

All of my opinions on the alcoholic drinks is that they should have had a mocktail version, and if not all a good chunk of them would have worked well as mocktails.

Another opinion of mine that you will see pretty regularly is that most of these drinks have listed ingredients in lore and are usually remarked on in the lore blurbs. But the working recipes are so far removed it is rather jarring. Which circles back to my previous opinion of the fact they could have made these mocktails.

Antivan Sip-Sip Introduced in Inquisition, there is no official ingredient list for this one. Simply this description: "Careful, this one's mean. Attic-raised mean. Popular among highborn who wish to seem dangerous, but more at home grasped by the neck by those who actually are." A description that is vaguely referenced in the lore blurb. As far as the working recipe goes, it's simple coconut rum, Jägermeister, and pineapple juice. Honestly, it could be a mocktail but I don't think it's really a missed opportunity here that it wasn't unlike some of the others.

Chasind Sack Mead Described in Origins as "A brutishly strong honey liquor, reminiscent of warm summer days, apple blossoms on the wind with an unexpected aftertaste of father going off to war, never to return. Bitter, to say the least." The lore blurb makes another poetic description in the same vein where it is more akin to the changing of the seasons; "First, there's a near-overwhelming rush of honey, tinged with the sour-sweetness of apple blossoms, that fills the mouth with all the bright warmth of a summer's day. But as the initial sweetness fades, there comes an unexpected bitterness, reminiscent of the slow decay into fall, then winter." They're both distinct and evoke a certain flavour profile to the mind. Now I likely won't be making this at any time, so I cannot speak to how well the working recipe captures that flavour. But the ingredients it lists vaguely evoke the potential of it in theory of what I know for these ingredients. It calls for apple juice (unfiltered), pure culture brewer's yeast, water, honey, St. John's wort, meadowsweet, verbena, and kieselsol.

Dragon Piss This one is interesting because while it has this description in Origins: "The name is probably figurative, but no one knows for sure." It actually has its first draft of a recipe from a twitch stream where the recipe is "1oz light rum, 1 oz dark rum, fill with iced tea". The cookbook recipe is a far departure from that, as it calls for raspberry brandy, sparkling wine, and blue curaçao liqueur; as well as lighting it on fire. The main spectacle of this drink is that it is lit on fire. I think the twitch recipe is a good foundation of a mocktail as well as sticks more visually to the name. Could have been a mocktail.

The Emerald Valley This cocktail from Inquisition is a recipe from The Gilded Horn like many on this list. But for this drink, it calls for: a spirit distilled by Chantery sisters in Lydes from over seventy herbs and flowers, topped with egg-white foam and dusted with nutmeg. A rather specific spirit to say the least. So much so the lore blurb for this drink is only two sentences long and focuses on that. Meanwhile the working recipe calls for ice cubes, bourbon, herb liqueur, simple syrup, heavy whipping cream, egg yolk, and freshly grated nutmeg. The only overlap between the two is the nutmeg dusting. I do wonder why they went with bourbon and made what is in essence eggnog with less spices. The shift from egg-white foam topper to what seems like would have been a good herb infused liqueur or an herbal simple syrup and making it akin to a mule or mojito. If they really wanted to keep with the strong herbal taste a St. Germain would have been a good base to build off of. Could have been a mocktail.

The Golden Nug From Inquisition, this recipe from The Gilded Horn calls for effervescent (fizzy) white Seleney wine, dash of West Hill Brandy, and a splash of pomegranate juice, muddled with raspberries and a sprig of royal elfroot. The lore blurb also specifies all this but the royal elfroot and describes the drink of having a pinkish hue. The working recipe however calls for ice cubes, grapefruit juice, gin, tonic water, and rosemary for garnish. A departure from the fizzy white wine and brandy combo with pomegranate and raspberries. If they were going to keep it alcoholic, I think a better swap would have to keep everything but swap the white wine for tonic water and making this a brandy and tonic based cocktail with pomegranate and raspberries vs a grapefruit gin and tonic and still achieve a soft pink look. Could have been a mocktail.

The Hissing Drake In-game recipe from The Gilded Horn which includes: cinnamon-infused whiskey, dark Llomerryn rum, Hirol's Lava Burst. Two of those three recipes are pretty easy to find here, and the Hirol's Lava Burst which "tastes of burning" would have been replaced with a high-proof alcohol and/or mixing in hot sauce or garnishes with spice - as it does in the working recipe. However the working recipe amounts to a bloody mary, having: Lemon juice, salt, vodka, tomato juice, tabasco, worcestershire sauce, pepper, sea salt, celery rib, pickle, spiced jerky. Coupling the working recipe with the lore blurb, it feels a little weird to have a drinking contest with bloody marys. But, people can and do have weird choices for drinking contests. Could have been a mocktail.

Hot Chocolate Bull's personal mission in Inquisition, making cocoa with Orlesian guimauves. Overall the working recipe is fine, it is a simple cup of cocoa and they even direct you on how to whip your own whipped cream.

Lichen Ale First mentioned in Origins, this ale is known to be toxic to everyone who drinks it but non-dwarves especially. Something the lore blurb stresses heavily while noting that they made changes to remove the risk and fear of poisoning. Overall, a pretty straight-forward and fun piece. Just looking at the recipe and the things with substitutes I deem it: Could have been a mocktail. Especially because it could have been fun to have recipes for making your own Kahlùa.

Rivaini Tea Blend First introduced in The Masked Empire novel as a favored tea of Empress Celene, its listed ingredients were cinnamon, ginger, and clove. However the lore blurb for this recipe creates a whole new mixture of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano, and licorice root, then cites the blend as the one that Celene drinks to alleviate her headaches. I'm not too sure why the change in that, but it is noteworthy. The working recipe itself calls for: peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano (flowers and leaves), mixed edible flowers (elderflower, mallow, and marigold), licorice root, vanilla bean, black tea, and honey. Overall it is a good and tasty mix, but one I would not be taking for headaches. If we followed Celene's reasoning for it - an aid for headaches, a better bet would actually be the original recipe as ginger and clove can help with headaches and migraines. Peppermint can as well, but the addition of the various floral notes as well as black tea and vanilla bean wouldn't. Not that the cookbook is necessarily providing the recipe for that purpose.

Lore and General Notes

In the recipe for nug pancakes, it notes that the taste of nug meat is akin to that of pork and rabbit, which is different from the pork and hare approximation from Origins.

The Jade Ham we see as a weapon in Inquisition is a smoked ham from the Anderfels with a specific glaze.

We've heard very little of Anderfels agriculture and animal husbandry prior to the cookbook. Save that they have apples that are small and bitter and largely import dried fruits. The cookbook introduces the fact that pig farming does profoundly well in the Anderfels, resulting in bigger pigs and by extension hams.

The cookbook introduces for the first time the existence of international connoisseurs as well as sharing just how widespread the use of goat milk is, seemingly more prevalent than cattle.

Chasind Sack Mead recipe mentions Chasind Wildwine, an ale that was originally only mentioned in the TTRPG and is made from a specific type of grain native to Ferelden called ryott.

Short Summary of Opinion

Overall my general opinion on the cookbook is that the lore elements are fun and I enjoy the references and nods to the series. The photos are very campy and fun, and doesn't take itself too seriously and also builds on nods towards the series through merch references. I feel like the cookbook is a solid 5/10 and I'm not really disappointed in it. It was more than what I expected and had the thing I was most excited and hopeful for: food and culture lore.

But I'm sure if you've read this far, my main issue with this cookbook, and something that is wholly a personal preference from my own work in this area as well as an opinion built from my other game/franchise cookbooks like World of Warcraft, Dnd, Critical Role, and Elder Scrolls being some of my favorites.

But I find the disconnect in the recipe description, recipe name, and lore blurbs from the actual working recipes a sizable detractor. I personally am not a fan of it simply telling you to get store bought ingredients - like the hollandaise sauce which is a simple recipe - instead of providing that recipe and suggesting the store bought as an alternative. A preference that comes from my own dietary restrictions meaning half of the "just buy store bought" requires me to look up a separate recipe elsewhere. Leading the book to feel a touch incomplete.

I also stated before in the drink section just how much it doesn't sit well that there aren't any mocktails and your only non-alcoholic options are tea and hot cocoa. I think they could have really explored that more and developed some really fun and inclusive drinks for those who don't/can't drink alcohol.

I also noticed, that this publisher who does a majority of game franchises or just media franchise cookbooks, is that they didn't have one of my favorite things about the Elder Scrolls cookbook, which was the Dietary Considerations chart. It was in the back of the cookbook and the chart had every recipe that fell in one or multiples of the following categories:

Vegetarian

Vegan

Gluten-free

Easily made vegetarian, vegan, or gluten-free with simple alterations

The fact that the Dragon Age cookbook didn't have this was disappointing to say the least and makes this rather inaccessible for people with such needs. I also have just a general distaste for the fact that all but 2 of the 9 drink recipes were alcoholic. That there was no attempt to offer mocktails, which not only feels like a missed opportunity but also just a limiting one on accessibility when it's pretty clear that working recipes are not mirrors to their in universe counterparts.

A big thing for me in modern cookbooks is accessibility, from difficulty, to ability to add alterations, and actually putting efforts into non-alcoholic drinks that aren't just hot chocolate or a tea blend (though I do like that they did a tea blend.)

This book is definitely more for a fan who wants to look into a fun recipe every now and then but mostly was there for the lore blurbs and just the sort of fan service of it.

[patzweigz]

i was someone who voted negatively on your genderbend poll. i just got curious and stopped to see if you'd said anything about the results, and i wanted to say i find your thoughts interesting and appreciate you writing them. it's not something i truly see very often, but approached from an actual standpoint of exploration i can see where there would be appeal. i also found it interesting that you mentioned both the difference in people who relate heavily to characters and the lack of people genderbending couples to be gay specifically, because it made me stop and examine the fact that me and my partner actually do that constantly. we frequently take popular straight couples and read them as being like us, since my boyfriend's presentation is much more like "girl who is a gay man" than anything more clear cut. i guess the real point here is that i've always trusted gender itself to be something very nuanced and something the person experiencing it knows better than i do, but i hadn't put a lot of thought into the myriad reasons why and how someone could experience a more theoretical, fictional exploration that i and people i know had previously experienced as mostly negative. a lot of the time it probably still will not be for me, but i think i can recognize more of what i consume as being fundamentally a similar thing. anyway, i hope you have a great day

OMG thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

i'm elated to know someone read what i had to write, lol. i appreciate hearing your perspective-- especially the note about making straight couples gay! it seems that's often the most widely accepted form of fictional gender exploration in fandom circles, when it happens at all; it reminded me of the more general trend of taking straight couples and saying the man in them is a he/him lesbian, which people do with a varying degree of seriousness. i also think on the trans people i know in my life who, for a variety of reasons both chosen and not, are perceived differently than their internal sense of gender (in a manner almost exactly how you described your boyfriend, even). hell, this even applies to me! which is probably another why i'm a fan of the trope, frankly.

at any rate, though, i'm really glad that we (collective we here) are in a place where discussion about it can be tabled as opposed to shut down entirely. thanks again for your message!

[phantastus]

I don't know if you're actively answering questions right now but I have a kinda stupid question that I'm curious what your thoughts are on it. If you don't want to answer that's fine tho lol

Basically, uhh. What are your thoughts on Heather going by Cheryl post-game? Personally I'm conflicted about it, because while I understand the explanation given in-game, part of me feels like it partially defeats the purpose of being able to become her own person and everything... If she goes back to using the name that Harry regretted choosing because it made him see her as a replacement for SH1 Cheryl. But at the same time, it could also be seen as an acceptance of those before her? Idk honestly.

I wanted to ask you because, well, you've been into silent hill far longer than I, and seem very passionate about Heather as a character, so I figured you might have personal opinions on the matter. As I said though, it's fine if you never answer this because it's super out of the blue

I'll be curious to hear your thoughts if you do answer, though!

Hey there! I'm like, in a perpetual state of flux, but I do try to answer questions whenever I get them! (If I leave them for too long, the ADHD guilt sets in and then I never do it, lmao.....). And, it's not a stupid question!

I agree that I always found it a *little* bit head-tilty for the reasons you mentioned-- Harry himself did acknowledge that naming her Cheryl was a gesture borne of wishing things could be exactly the way they were, when the truth was that Cheryl as he knew her would never again exist. But I also think the other thing you mentioned holds weight-- a big aspect of SH3's plot imo was Heather regaining a full awareness of self (something she'd previously been repressing for her own safety, and unconsciously running away from her entire life) and coming to peace with the fact that her former "selves" were still part of her, even if she'd grown and changed.

This song (which is one of my all-time faves, tbh!!!!) really captures the aching sadness at the core of Silent Hill 3 for me. It's written as though from the point of view of Heather at an earlier point in her own lifetime, but symbolically I think it's also representative of Heather's relationship with Cheryl/Alessa-- not just as literal people, but as periods of time that no longer reflect her current feelings and understanding of the world, yet still EXIST within her nonetheless.

SH3 is, after all, a coming-of-age story-- a huge part of it is about grieving for the person you once were but are no longer. That moment of feeling disconnected from your childhood-- whether it's due to being unavoidably transformed by trauma, realizing that you're estranged from people you once loved in a way that will never be fixable, having the horrible knowledge that the 'you' people want is not the 'you' that you've become, OR EVEN just the simple passage of time... Obviously, SH3 presents those themes in a VERY literal fashion because Heather is dealing with actual reincarnation and past lives here, but I think when you boil it down to its essentials, that's what it's all about.

And OOF, that really hits me on a very personal level, which I think is why SH3 remains my favorite game in the series.

To bring this back around to your specific question though, I think that the most plausible interpretation of Heather going by 'Cheryl' again is that it's a mix of honoring Harry, and embracing/making peace on her own terms with the past she'd been running from for so long.

From a FULLY in-character perspective, I see post-game Heather primarily only going by Cheryl with people she fully trusts, and retaining Heather as her more commonly-used name (or EVEN picking out a completely new pseudonym, since I guess 'Heather' would be known to the Order now lmfao) for simple safety reasons.

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING, I hope I actually answered your question! NEVER apologize for asking me to talk about Silent Hill, it's always encouraging to know that anybody wants to hear my unhinged ramblings, haha.

[derangedthots]

Hiiiiiiiiii lovely writer author jacemond wife,

I hope you don’t mind me asking but I got curious about your writing process for FTF & CTF. Like you’re very much aware of where your fic is going what inspired it and already know what would be spoilers and what isn’t for us your in love readers. I hope it’s not a bother to ask and if you don’t wish to answer that completely understandable. I just wondered how you planned out the universe and plot for this ship so effectively and efficiently.

Also i can’t remember if you ever tagged it or not but was there going to be like angst in this fic? (Not asking for like tagging reasons but just because I wondered with Aemond’s personality we’d be getting dumb blond brooding and grandma Vhagar two days away from kidnapping Jace and Aemond to an island and flying away. Targaryens and their emotional constipation feelings about family)

Hope uni is treating you good and Jacemond treats you better!!!

hello my love😊🥰

it's not a bother to ask at all!! (though probably not that interesting to hear haha) i have an overactive imagination that has a tendency to make connections really quickly and if the material i'm working off of is anything based in fantasy, that ability only compounds lol. my brain will make large connections (i.e. major events i want to write/read) first while also running smaller details in the background and the longer i leave both to sit and marinate, the clearer the narrative becomes. it's all very chaotic by nature so i'll try to keep as much as i can organized on a good doc - since i can always delete certain plans later - and just keep reminding myself of where eventually i want the story to end up.

there's a lot of scene/plot planning that happens but i also try to leave myself a lot of room to play outside of stuff i KNOW needs to happen bc i don't want the fic to feel bogged down or like i'm just crossing things off a list. i mentioned in my ch2 author's endnote that i like giving my stories "room to breathe" bc i want them to feel organic rather than mechanical. hitting the right emotional beats is really important to me (what are humans if not highly-emotional beings after all, isn't that just terrible and beautiful?) so there's a lot of internal deliberation abt how characters would respond & react to certain things that i think abt every day in order to avoid the pitfalls of treating them less like complex people and more like hollow puppets on my strings. when i write, i aim to imbue my fics will life and life can lead us down unpredictable, frustrating roads haha

taking all that into account, it's pretty much why i don't have a set update schedule. i tried to do the monthly thing releasing the first ch of CTF a month after FMF but it became clear almost immediately that that wouldn't work just bc, by that point, the story had grown too large for me to tell it the way i felt it needed to be told in such a short time. plus uni responsibilities factors into it too and updates get postponed even longer than i would ever want them to (boo👎🏼👎🏼)

and research, a lot of research goes into me planning these fics lolol and often times bc i haven't read f&b i have to cross out ideas and change certain details i previously (incorrectly) believed and/or don't wanna keep

oof that was so much rambling again😂 but to answer your second question, for some reason i thought i already added the angst tag to CTF and clearly just forgot. ik you said you're not asking for tagging reasons but for me personally, it was v irresponsible of me considering jace has already had at least 2 panic attacks at this point and well...everything else. tagging my fics appropriately is important to me bc i never want to trigger anyone unnecessarily and i know we all have diff thresholds when it comes to how comfortable or uncomfortable we are with certain subjects. i'll add it here in a bit, thank you for reminding me!! it's esp. important bc yeah...there's definitely going to be more angst moving forward...no spoilers tho my mouth is sealed🤐😶‍🌫️

i hope life and jacemond treats you AMAZINGLY😚💕💕

[corvidquartz]

Witchy Questions Tag...Thing?

Came across this in my scrolling and thought it looked fun! I know I reblog a lot of stuff related to witchcraft and have briefly talked about my practice, but if anyone is curious to learn more, this is the place for it!

Here's the link if anyone wants to do it too!

Do you use runes as a written language? - No I don't. I do use runes on occasion for spellwork, but not as a written language.

2. Do you feel you have natural gifts such as (premonitions, hearing spirits) and if so do you think this is what led you to this path? - I've found that I'm rather good at sensing different energies (whether physical or emotional) and I can read people incredibly well. That in of itself isn't what led me down this path, but these skills have certainly come in handy during my practice.

3. What deity do you work with if any and why?- I currently am working with Apollo, Cerridwen, Hades, and Oonagh. Apollo has been helping me a lot with self-care and self-esteem and generally helping me rediscover a zest for life I thought I'd lost. He kindled a love for Divination I haven't let go of too and is a big help when it comes to my creative work! Cerridwen has been helping me better connect with my heritage and has been a beacon of inspiration as I delve further into my craft and into who I truly am as a person. Hades has been helping me manage my money a bit better and has been a very calming presence while I’ve begun processing my own mental health battles and trauma (he and Apollo are preparing me to do a LOT of Shadow Work.) Oonagh is the most recent deity to reach out to me, and she intends to assist me with building a better relationship with exercise and my own self-image as I begin to take steps into a transitional period of my life. She’s hoping to help me reconnect and heal my inner-child as well.

4. Have you always worked with this same deity? - I’ve only really begun deity work this year, so all the deities I’ve listed are the only ones I’ve worked with so far and are the same ones I work with right now.

5. Do you use any personal items in your practice, (blood, semen, tears, urine, etc)? - No, I haven’t used anything like that. Maybe fingernail clippings or hair in the future, but nothing further than that.

6. Do you do past life readings or have ever had one done; who where you or how did you die? - I haven’t, but I’m interested in it!

7. What is your favorite magical tool? - My tarot cards! I absolutely adore them and I get in such a good mood whenever I get to use them.

8. What is a song or type of music that gets you into a witchy mood? - Anything by Celtic Woman, Fish In A Birdcage, and/or Poor Man’s Poison.

9. Where is the most magical place you have ever been? - There is this foresty area my parents used to take me to a lot when I was a kid that honestly felt like stepping into a fairytale whenever we arrived.

10. What animal is your familiar if any? - I currently don’t have a familiar.

11. If you have a familiar, did you choose them or did they choose you? - As previously mentioned, I don’t have a familiar as of right now.

12. What in the craft are you best at (tarot, spells, ritual,) etc? - I’ve done a lot of divination work, mainly with tarot and pendulums, and I’ve found I’m the best at that.

13. What in the craft would you say you are weaker at? - I’m not very good at astral projection, but I’d love to get better.

14. What is your most favorite part of your craft (spell writing, divination, etc)? - Divination for sure! I also love the deity work that I do and the bits of dabbling that I can do into kitchen witchcraft.

15. What was the first tool you ever purchased? - My first tarot deck! Was only of the major arcana and it was themed around cryptids. It's now my main way to communicate with Hades. He really likes it. ^^

16. What was your first homemade tool for your practice? - My first physical book of shadows. I use a digital one a lot more now, but I hope to transfer everything into a proper physical form one of these days.

17. What are your feelings on raising kids in the craft? - If I were to have kids, I would be open about my craft, observe Wiccan holidays, and answer any questions they’d have, but ultimately leave whatever spiritual path they wish to go down up to them.

18. If you were a goddess or god, who would you be? - Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m quite content in my mortal coil and enjoying the relationship I have with the divine as of right now. ^^;

19. Do you use astrology in your practice? In what ways? - I’ve always loved astrology and try to work moon phases into when I do spellwork and star signs into my divination work when I do readings for other people.

20. What if any ways could you practice dark magic and still respect the beliefs of Wicca? - I’m a firm believer in not harming others when it comes to my craft. If it were in self-defense it would be one thing, but I won’t be practicing anything that could violate the natural law and morals I’ve come to know for so long.

21. Do you have any witches in your family? - My mother and my younger sibling! My father and stepmother are also spiritually inclined, but I don’t believe they consider themselves witches.

22. What item can you not witch without? - My pocket sack of crystals and oils! Never leave home without them.

23. What is your favorite sabbat or time of year ritual? - I’d say Samhain and Yule are my favorites!

24. Have you ever had a YouTube burn out? - Occasionally, but nothing that pulls me away for too long. It's a big part of my job after all!

25. What is your fav witchy shop, and do they have an online store? - Blodforlog on Etsy! Their stuff is extremely well made and the owner is so kind!

26. When buying witchy items, do they choose you or do you choose them? - Depends on what I’m looking for! When it comes to things like herbs or crystals, I tend to choose them. Anything else tho, I either feel pulled to them personally, or one of my deities draw me to them.

27. How do you organize your herbs/ingredients? - I organize everything into labeled jars and bottles that I either line on my windowsill or keep in a designated box.

28. Do you have interest in other deities that you don’t work with; if so, which ones? - I currently don’t work with Loki or Dionysus, but their mythology interests me a lot!

29. Do you have a favorite time of day to do spell work; if so, why? - I prefer to do spellwork whenever I need to throughout the day. No real designated time.

30. Are you solitary or do you work with a coven? - Currently a solitary practitioner. If a coven ever came my way that seemed like a good fit for me tho, I might consider it.

31. If you could pick a certain witchcraft tradition that fits your practice most what would it be (Druid, Celtic, Wicca etc)? - I’d consider myself a Wiccan, though I hope to research further into Celtic practices given my Celtic heritage.

32. What was the most creative spell you have ever done. What did you use? - I came up with a long-distance protection spell to help keep my partner in good health and spirits while his state was being overrun by smoke. It mostly consisted of spoken word and runes as well as some protection oils and black salt that I had on hand (I was staying with my family for a holiday and didn't have all my usual tools and materials on me).

33. What do you prefer for divination (tarot, oracle, runes ,etc, and why?) - Tarot cards and pendulums are my go-to items for divination.

34. What are some ways you keep yourself grounded? - I have a pouch of protection/grounding stones and oils that I keep on me at all times. I also wear a lot of grounding-based jewelry and have different playlists prepared for me to listen to if I feel myself spiraling or getting anxious or overwhelmed.

35. Have you ever had a spell go horribly wrong? - Not yet, as far as I can tell.

36. What are your opinions on initiation rituals? - I honestly don’t know a lot about them, so I don’t really have an opinion. ^^;

37. Have you ever had full contact with your deity; if so, what happened? - I’ve mostly heard their voices in the back of my head and catch glimpses of them when I’m really tired and a bit more “floaty” if that makes sense? I have a good idea of what they look like and what they sound like, but otherwise, divination is really the only way I can communicate with them directly and get a direct answer back. The first time I ever actively communicated with a deity was Apollo. I had asked for a sign that he was present and reaching out to me while I shuffled my tarot deck, and the cards exploded out of my hand and all over the floor. The first card I picked up was the sun card, so that certainly was the sign I was looking for. XD

38. What about you is un witchy? - I’m a giant weeb. ^w^

39. For the dating witch, how do you tell a new love interest that you are a witch? - I’d honestly just be open about it and understand that there may be questions about it. So long as I’m transparent with them, I’ve found they take it best.

40. Who is a past witch that has inspired you ,famous or not? - SpiritualiTea has been a big inspiration to me! Her approach with witchcraft is super grounded and she clearly has a lot of fun with what she does.

41. How do you handle rejection from a fellow witch that refuses to do a reading or spell for you? - That hasn’t happened yet.

42. Do you think it is necessary to cast a circle when you do spell work or any magical working? - I don’t typically cast a circle for typical spellwork, but it is something I recommend of you are calling on other entities for assistance.

43. If Steven Spielberg called and wanted to make a movie of your life, who would you want to play as you? - Uhhhhhh…if it were animated…idk…Ben Schwartz?

44. What is some advice that was given to you that you pass along because it made an impact on your path? - Your path doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. Do things at your own pace and do what brings you the most happiness. So long as you aren't hurting anyone of course.

45. What is some advice you would give someone who has not found there diety? - Trust your instincts, do your research, and be openminded. The divine may just surprise you.

46. Where do you buy your herbs? - Either online or from whatever grocery store that has what I need.

47. How did you feel casting your first circle (silly, scared, stumbling, etc)? - Very intimidated and like everything I was doing was wrong.

48. What was your first successful spell? - I did a restful sleep spell to help with my insomnia. It’s helped a great deal (tho honestly I’m overdue for replacing the jar ^^;)

49. What is your general practice for meditation? - I have a hard time doing traditional meditation, so I’d consider listening to calming music and taking a walk or laying in bed quietly to be my personal form of meditation.

50. Are you a day walker or a night comer? - I’ve always been more of a night person, tho I do enjoy many aspects of the day!

51. How and when did you know you wanted to be on this path? - I was raised Pagan by my parents and picked up Wicca as I got older. It was made clear to me that I was free to choose my own path, but Paganism and Wicca just resonated with me the most and thus when I was old enough to decide that for myself, I knew that the path of witchcraft was the best path for me. It’s helped me through so much in my life and I want to continue that trend for both myself and those around me.

52. What type of pagan are you (Wiccan, eclectic, hedge, etc)? - I would consider myself Pagan-Wicca that is pretty eclectic in terms of witchcraft practice.

53. What candle color do you use most? - I live in a dormitory that doesn’t allow candles right now, so I haven’t been able to do many candle spells yet. Of the colors I HAVE used tho, yellow and white seem to be my go-tos as of right now.

54. What area would you like to see your craft grow in? - I’d love to look more into medical herbalism! It’s an area I’ve always been really interested in!

55. What is your preference, to buy or make your tools? - If I’m unable to make something myself, I prefer to purchase handmade items from small businesses and show my support to fellow witches.

56. What fictional witch book/screen inspired you the most? - I adored Sabrina The Teenage Witch growing up and The Owl House is one of my current favorites! I have always been drawn to shows and books that featured witchcraft in general, so it's nice to see more witch-themed content being made.

57. With your first spell where you alone or in a coven? - I was alone.

58. What is your favorite candle, incense scent for magical purposes? - I adore the smell of lavender and anything with a bit of a spicy scent to it like cinnamon!

59. Where is your favorite place to go to reconnect with nature? - A park near my family’s house has a hidden clearing that looks over a river. It’s one of my favorite places in the world.

60. Do you believe in fantasy creatures (unicorns, gnomes, elves, fairies, etc)? - Of course! Fairies have been an active part of my life since I was small.

61. Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? - Yep! Have always been surrounded by the supernatural.

62. Would you ever teach the craft? - If I ever became an expert at any specific area of it, I’d consider it!

63. What if any legal herb do you use for moods? - Essential oils are my best friend! I have different ones for every occasion!

64. What is the most recent spell/ritual you have done? (slight detail please) - I have a simple intentions ritual that I do in the morning that involves runes and different oils that help me get in the headspace I need in order to do what I need to do that day. For example, if I know I have a lot of work I need to do that day (I’m a freelance editor), I would do a ritual with Road Opening oil and Divine Blessings so that way I know the flow of creativity I need will be available to me and I’ll be less susceptible to distractions.

65. Do you have a happy place you go to during meditation? - Either my bed or somewhere outside.

66. What is your favorite witchy book? - Nothing specifically witchy itself, but a book that always puts me in a witchy mood is Coraline by Neil Gaiman!

67. Do you have a ritual to get ready before a ritual or spell? (what is it) - Not really. Most smaller spellwork I do is stuff I do as it comes throughout the day. No real need for prep beforehand.

68. Do you always use your own spells or do you tweak others? - I tend to take inspiration from other spells and make them my own to suit what I need them to do.

69. Do you prefer spells/ritual inside or outside? - They’re typically done as I need them, so whether that’s indoors or outdoors is left up to circumstance.

70. If you are coming from a Christian/catholic background. Did you find the transition hard with family and the whole going to Hell thing? Basically leaving all you been told was right? - As I said before, I was raised Pagan, so I never had that issue with my family. The last two partners I had came from VERY strict Catholic and Christian upbringings, however, so explaining my background to their parents was always…interesting. My current partner’s family is very open to Paganism thankfully, so haven’t run into issues there yet.

71. What are your totem animals? - I don’t believe I have any yet, if I’m understanding the question properly.

72. What are some things you reuse after spells/ritual work? - Mostly jars and containers if I clean and cleanse them first.

73. Who helped you most when you starting on your path? - A lot of resources in the form of online creators that I found online and from my own family has been extremely helpful.

74. Do you know any good witchy phone apps (like moon phases)? - I’ve used a moon phase app and a stone identification app in the past, but the names aren’t coming to mind atm. ^^;

75. What is your favorite magical study? - Honestly, anything I can find! I’ve been enjoying learning divination and kitchen witchcraft the most tho!

76. Outside of the YouTube and Facebook community, do you have a lot of witchy friends in the physical world? - I have a handful, but we all haven’t talked in a bit due to life stuff. ^^;

77. Do you feel that the deities we work with are a force from one higher power and that all beliefs and religions are from the same one God/place? - I’m more of an Omnist and believe that all deities from all cultures are real, even if I myself don’t work with all of them.

If you have any questions regarding any of my answers, feel free to let me know! Otherwise, here it be! Hope you all enjoy! Blessed be!

[jxckyx3]

[NO PICTURE TODAY, TOO BUSY :P]

I'm horrible at coming up with random names, so don't shit on me!!

😭

💜🖤💜

__________________________________

Ship: Nogla x Brock & Jon

Top(s): Brock & Jon

Bottom: Nogla

AU: /

Setting: /

Type: Fluff

Warning ⚠️: The chapter that you're about to read contains swearing, slightly dark humor, mention of pedophilia and other mentions or situations that may disturb, trigger or offend the viewer. Reader's discretion is advised.

__________________________________

Third pov -

"Brock, I'm really fucking struggling right now."

Jon's voice was quick and urgent, static slightly sifting through his end and his voice was a little muffled due to his hand presumably being pressed up against the speaking end on his phone.

More signs of an obvious struggle.

"Jon- ugh, I'm kind of busy right now. What do you want?" Brock sighed, trying not to sound as frustrated as he was.

Jon had called him in the middle of putting Briana to sleep—and though he thought the name was stupid at first, having been named after one of his friends, it was a pretty cute name so he stuck with it— and how she was wide awake again from the sound of the ringtone that had blasted throughout the previously quiet room.

And hell, Brock was just about to get to bed.

"Sorry man, just- how exactly do ya put a fussy baby to bed even after you fed her, burped her, changed her diaper and even sang her a crappy lullaby? All while having a clingy toddler hanging on your leg?"

Brock froze, rather unamused as he gently nudged Briana back down into her bed. He was lucky his other child, Damien—that he refused to name after Brian again and give him the satisfaction— hadn't woken up yet. Brock was extra-lucky that he was a deep sleeper.

"You called me up, at ten at night, to ask me how to put your kids to sleep? After you just woke one of mine up by calling me?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Brock would happily curse Jon out right now, but his daughter was still watching him with curious eyes, and he didn't want to explain to her what the word 'dickface' meant.

"Shit, sorry dude. But I really need your help. You've done this longer than I have." Jon laughed sheepishly, though he didn't sound so apologetic.

"Wait- no don't touch that!" Brock sighed at the sound of something crashing on Jon's end, before a high pitched cry of a child followed after.

"Why are you crying? It didn't even hit you!" Jon exclaimed in disbelief. Brock would've laughed on any other occasion, but he knew the struggle. He knew how hard it was to deal with kids.

He felt sympathy for his friend. And he was tempted enough to go over to his house and help him. They had all moved pretty close to eachother to make vlogging and recoding with timezones more convenient, so they were all in driving distance.

Brock would have drove down to Jon's to help, but it was late at night and he knew that Briana would probably wake up again to nobody home. He didn't want to chance it.

"Dude, listen. Did you try tucking her in?" He finally asked, breaking the impatient bickering Jon was having with his daughter.

"Yes! I tried everything Brock! Sarah and Lilly won't go to sleep! It's killing me!" He exaggerated, groaning into the phone in defeat.

"Well what do you usually do that works?" Brock asked, carding his hands through Briana's hair to push her to sleep faster. And from the slight droop in her eyes, it was working.

"Who said anything ever works? I usually just run around with them all night arguing until they finally get exhausted and give in." He admitted, hissing slightly and muttering a small 'bad'.

He must've been bit. Jon's kids were always biters. Wasn't really a surprise considering who their father was.

Brock could still hear sniffling and whining through the phone, and it was starting to give him a migraine. He loved kids sure, but they had that draining effect on people.

"Okay, how about this. I have a really important appointment tomorrow. It helps single parents learn to raise kids properly. If you can manage tonight, then I can let you come with me in the morning. Sound good?" He asked, rather ready to just hang up and have Jon deal with it himself. But Brock wasn't that cruel.

"That...actually sounds nice, yeah. What is it?" Jon asked, sounding interested as he ignored his daughter's cries of wanting to play.

"It's like a class for adults. I haven't had the chance to go yet because I wasn't sure. But lately it's been getting harder so I decided to test it out tomorrow. I'm not even sure if it'll work or help at all, but it beats trying to cluelessly doing it all by myself." Brock mumbled, slowly retracting his hand as he heard Briana's little snores.

"Hmm...fuck- ok. I'll try to put them to bed. But- what about the kids? Don't we need a babysitter?" Jon asked, the whining of his kids seeming to simmer down a bit. Which was a huge relief for Brock's ears.

"Crap...I didn't think about that. Just- we'll figure it out tomorrow okay? The classes start a few hours after school starts, so we'll have a bit of time to hire a last minute nanny or something." He huffed, leaning back in his armchair as he ran a hand over his face.

Babysitter? Why didn't he think of that? It's just another problem in his way. He can hardly record with his kids constantly at his hip. He didn't mind, but he couldn't really do much with them always around when he was working. It was so much easier when Lauren was around.

He supposed Jon feels the same way about Liz.

"Sure. It's not the best option, but it's better than what we already have." Jon sighed, murmuring a few quiet curses on his end.

Brock didn't really blame him. The whole thing was a pain in the ass.

"Alright. I'll see you in the morning. Meet me by the school entrance after you drop your kids off." He then said, voice audibly tired.

"Yeah man. See you tomorrow. Goodnight." Brock replied. And with a goodnight in return from Jon, the two hung up.

Brock hunched in his chair, almost tired enough to just fall asleep right there. Almost. But he knew it would hurt like a bitch in the morning, so he forced himself up to head to his own room.

The hallway was quiet and dark. Something he still wasn't entirely used to. He stepped into his room, peeling off his shirt and pants to toss them in the hamper.

He sat down on his bed. His empty, cold bed.

It had been only a month since Lauren left him. Reasons unknown because she was too nervous to tell him. He was sure it was because she fell out of love with him. He couldn't blame her. After a good few years, the spark between them had died. Living with her was just like living with a close friend that you kissed every now and then.

Lauren is a nice woman, so he didn't blame her for leaving. In all honesty, if he wasn't a coward, he would've broke off the marriage ages ago. It wasn't that he didn't like her anymore. But there was clearly no more family love in the house other than for their children.

Which, kinda was the deal breaker for him, because though Lauren took care of the children when he would record, she never really loved them like he did. She took care of them, fed them, bathed them. But she never cared for them with the same love that Brock did. Never kissed them goodnight or read them bedtime stories.

He guesses it was because the unlove she was feeling for him, was rubbing off into the kids. To her, they were just another part of Brock. Another part of their broken relationship. A lie.

He didn't mind when she asked for divorce. He didn't even mind when she packed all her stuff and moved out. But he did mind, when she wanted no part custody of the kids.

What would they do without a mother? How was he ever supposed to explain that she didn't love him anymore without making them think it was their fault that she left?

He was glad they hadn't asked any questions about that yet. Briana seeing to just go with it, and Damien being too young to even understand.

Brock sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. He lied back in bed, staring up at the grey ceiling as he pulled the blankets over his body.

They still smelled like honey and lavender. Like Lauren.

Fuck, he needed to buy new blankets.

***

 

"Wow, you must've been really tired." Brock snorted, watching as Jon drank his third cup of coffee. Not so carefully adding more red bull into it as if it was a secondary creamer.

"Bro, you don't even know. I love those kids but it's like hell with them." He huffed, shaking his head and taking a big gulp as he quickly scrolled through his phone.

For Jon, he had gone only a few weeks without Liz. She wanted to focus on herself, feeling as if she had nose-dived too early into creating a family. She wanted to get out, to see the world.

Jon thought it was a load of bullshit, but they were still friends. So he could just curse her out all he wanted. She didn't mind. She would just curse him right back, then the two would continue on being friends like nothing happened.

What was her logic? She wanted a life with him, so she got it. But now all of a sudden she wanted to get out and travel the fucking world? What was there to see? Skyscrapers and shitty landmarks? Jon didn't understand. But it was her decision, and he respected it. Even if he thought it was the stupidest thing he's ever heard.

The least she could've done was to take the kids every weekend or something. But nooo, she had to have all the alone time she wanted, he thought.

Jon knew he was taking it all a bit personally. Brock seemed fine on his own. A little stressed, but fine overall. He supposed that he should be the same, but he couldn't help but feel as if Liz abandoned them.

"You okay? You're dozing off again." Brock asked, drumming his fingers on the table to snap Jon out of his daze.

"Yeah, yeah. Just...there's no babysitters that look trusting enough." He used as an excuse, shifting his phone over to let Brock see his phone screen.

He scrolled through multiple babysitter profiles, none of which caught either of their eyes.

"They all look like Karen's, or pedos." Jon hissed, drawing a short laugh from the other.

"Not so loud, we're in a coffee shop." He reminded him. Jon glanced up, seeing a few eyes on them in annoyance.

He smiled apologetically, before dropping all his focus back down to his phone.

"I dunno Brock. I'm not so sure if I can trust a random stranger with our kids. We don't know what kind of people are on this." He said, gesturing to his phone with his other hand.

Brock hummed, taking the device from Jon's hands and looking himself as the latter took the chance to sip from his coffee.

"Well what about this guy?" He asked, pointing to a profile picture with a middle aged looking, scruffy man.

"No. I'm not letting a man babysit my daughter." He stated firmly. Brock shrugged, scrolling down a bit more before he stopped again.

"How about her-"

"She's too old. She won't be able to handle all four of them." He interrupted. Brock narrows his eyes at Jon, watching as the man glared down at his cup. A small sneer on his face.

"Okay..." He said, suspicious of Jon's suddenly firm attitude about this. But he continued on.

"Uh...well there's this woman. She's twenty three, willing to sit for cheap. She even has experience in working at a daycare." He offered. At that, Jon leaned over, swirling the cup in his hands as Brock tapped into her profile.

He went through her files, looking at a few of the ratings. Brock thought she was pretty decent. She just might be perfect to-

"No. She's too young. And she looks like the type to lock the kids in a room and invite her boyfriend over or something." Jon decided, turning away from the phone once more with more interest in his coffee.

Great.

Brock heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes.

"Jon, this isn't gonna work if you don't just pick someone. We can't sit here all day, we only have twenty minutes until the class starts." He huffed, setting the phone down onto the table.

Jon didn't respond, averting his gaze as he sipped on his coffee with a small pout. If Brock didn't know any better, he'd think that Jon was the child in all of this.

"Okay, what's your deal." He demanded for an awnser, leaning his elbow on the table as he looked over to his friend. Jon refused to speak again, but after a solid minute, he gave in.

"I don't even trust myself with my own kids. How am I gonna trust a stranger?" He asked, finally setting his mug down as he looked over to Brock.

The man stared back at his friend, pursing his lips in thought.

To be frank, he had wandered over the same thoughts. Sticking his kids with some rando and going on about his day was weird without worrying at least a little bit. Brock—just like Jon— had never left his kids with anyone else but his ex-wife. And worrying about the kids was a major step in moving on.

Not just moving on from Lauren, but moving on with his life. He had to try, but he couldn't always be by his son's and daughter's side to take care of them. He had a job, he had to pay bills, he had to run errands. And none of that was easy with two kids on his hip.

He felt for all the single parents in the world, because it was difficult. And he knew Jon was going through much worse, because he had babies.

But every now and then, they'd have to take a big leap. And if that meant leaving their kids with some random person while they took classes to raise them better, then so be it.

"Jon, I know. Okay? I understand what you're going through and how much you care about your kids. Same as me man. But if we're gonna get any better at this, we have to take those classes. Meaning, we need a babysitter." Brock reasoned, watching the gears in Jon's head turn.

He was back to staring down at his coffee, barely having even touched his breakfast. Brock didn't have much of an appetite either, but he was starving.

"Eat your food idiot." He mumbled, sliding Jon's plate to the edge of the table. The latter didn't respond, but obliged as he began to take small bites of his waffles. Mainly just eating the fruit and whipped cream that sat atop, but at least he was eating something.

"Can we ask one of our friends?" Jon finally asked, turning his phone off and setting it back into his pocket.

"What?" Brock asked, slightly taken aback.

"Our friends. Can't we ask one of them?" Jon repeated, looking up. Brock didn't say a word, his mouth left hanging open slightly as he stared at Jon.

The taller sighed, setting his fork down.

"You haven't even thought about that, have you." He raised a brow. Though, it was more an observation considering Brock's reaction.

"Crap I didn't even think that was an option." He groaned, thudding his head against the table as Jon laughed.

"I honestly don't blame you. I trust them more than a stranger, but I'm not sure if any of them has experience with kids." Jon shrugged, finally taking a bite of his waffles.

"True. But we could try. We just need to figure out who's worthy enough." Brock nodded, leaning back into the booth.

It was pretty early to be up. Even for him, seeing as he usually falls back to sleep after dropping his kids off at school. But the sun felt nice and warm along with the breezy chill of the morning. He quite liked it.

He mentally noted to start getting up earlier from now on.

"Not Evan. He doesn't know jack-shit about kids. I'm not even sure he likes them. Brian's a no. He and Lanai would probably do good, but I feel like Brian would try to teach them slurs." Jon started to list off, tapping his fork against his plate.

Which was very annoying, but Brock decided to cut him some slack.

"Or treat them like dogs." He added on, causing the two of them to laugh.

"Oh, he'd absolutely do that." Jon nodded in agreement. Brock hummed, mentally shuffling through the rest of his friends.

"Not Marcel. He's great with kids, but I don't want his ADHD to kick in and have him forgetting things. Scotty would be nice, but him and Chrissy are more like children than our own. Tyler is already a no, because he'd probably take them out and spoil them and have them turn against us. Lui is already a no, because of the allegations- no I'm just kidding." Brock quickly said with a wheeze, causing Jon to burst out cackling at the last part.

People were starting to stare, and Brock didn't really blame them.

"No, but he's cool. I just don't want him giving the kids candy, because I know he will. And he's been busy lately, so I don't wanna bother him too much." Brock finished out his thoughts.

Jon was too busy still coming down from his fit, wiping literal tears from his eyes.

"Okay, okay...ah, shit. Dude that was funny. But that only leaves Anthony, David and Cody." Jon sighed, recomposing himself so they could get back to the problem at hand.

Brock hummed in thought, rubbing his chin as he twiddled his thumbs.

Anthony was a great caretaker. If Chester and Bruce were anything to go by. He was great at watching out for any allergies and great at keeping his dogs occupied. But then again, the kids were more energetic, and Brock highly doubted Anthony had the patience for them.

Cody was a great choice. If Brock hadn't already considered it. Cody was cool, but he had so many damn cats. Those cats were his life, and one of the kids might actually hurt them. Jon's daughters, most likely, with all the biting. And Cody might get mad, and then the kids would get sad for being yelled at, and crying was a hard thing to stop a child from doing.

Now David...Brock hadn't really thought about that. In all honesty, he didn't think he'd need to go through all the pros and cons, because David was...well, David.

He was childlike himself, and energetic if he was in the right mood. Which...was probably good for the kids...to be honest.

But then again, David was dumb. Respectfully. He might lose the kids, or forget about them.

But he also had a kid of his own...and she seemed pretty great. She was like him. Obnoxious, unfiltered and outgoing. But also calm and relaxed when she needed to be.

He was even great when he played with Conner on Fortnite. He watched his language better than Tyler, Brian, and even Marcel.

And if anything, David had been doing this longer than both Jon and Brock. Aliyah had left him five months ago, having found her sexuality.

Brock didn't know much, other than she had been with him because she thought she loved him. She did love him, just not like how she thought she did. Only a month before they were gonna get engaged, she came out as gay, and David had supported her all the way.

She had gotten a new girlfriend that didn't want anything to do with David's daughter, so he kept full custody. But Aliyah still came around from time to time to hangout with the two.

Other than that, that's all Brock and the rest of them knew. David hadn't told them anything else. He seemed pretty cool about the whole thing, so that was all the reassurance they needed to not keep bothering him and asking if he was okay.

Actually, he probably took it the best out of all three of them. While Brock and Jon had been down in the dumps for a little, David had seemed completely fine.

Regardless of any of that, David raised Cathy pretty good. She was a kind, curious little girl. A little too curious and asking weird questions just as her father did at times, but she was alright.

"Ugh...I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but David seems like the most responsible for this." Brock said, finally making up his mind.

Jon started at him for a few seconds, mouth full of food. He narrowed his eyes. Trying to see if Brock was playing or not. But he wasn't. He was completely serious.

"Reasons being?" He asked through a muffled mouth, wiping away the jam that stuck on the corner of his lip.

"Well, take Catherine for example. She's smart, kind, surprisingly calm and collected when asked the first time, and she's respectful. David did that all by himself, and I know he only has one kid, but don't you think it would be great for our kids to spend some time with him? Just for this one day to see how it goes." Brock explained, spreading his arms out with the offer.

Jon stared at him, thinking it though thoroughly.

"If it doesn't go the way we planned, then we can always find another babysitter for next time. But for now, he's the best we got." He continued.

That seemed to be the breaker for it, because Jon sighed and nodded his head.

"Fine. But if he fucks up my kids, I'm blaming you." He said with an accusing finger pointed in the other man's direction.

Brock sighed, finally happy that this was all settled.

"Sure thing. I'll take full responsibility." He said, crossing a hand over his heart. Jon rolled his eyes, but smiled anyways.

***

"So we thought you would be the perfect fit for it...that is, if ya can." Jon finished, glancing over at Brock. Who—despite saying he'll take full responsibility— hadn't said a single word other than 'hi' since David opened the door.

The Irishman stared at them, looking between a mix of surprise and confusion with his mouth slightly hanging open.

He was fully dressed and looked rather awake. Meaning he had been up since he dropped Catherine at school. Which was a sort of surprise to see him still up and not exhausted.

Probably one of the upside's of only having one kid.

"Yo-...ye want me ta babysit?" He finally asked. They had been his only words spoken since the two came knocking at his door. He hadn't even been able to greet them before Jon started to spout all their problems and plans.

Even going as far as repeating the joke Brock had made this morning about Lui. Which had been funny, but he was so confused that it was hard to process anything.

"Yes. That's exactly what we're asking for." Brock finally said, getting a small side eye from Jon.

David pursed his lips, looking down into the cup for tea he had been holding. It was probably cold by now.

"Lads, listen. Y'know I would say yes any day and any time but...are ye sure?" He asked, raising a brow at them. The question took them by surprise.

"What do you mean?" Jon asked, frowning a bit.

"Well, ye guys don't usually trust me with big responsibilities. Which- makes sense, considering I'm me. But kids? I mean, I'm great with kids, but your kids? You're trusting me with kids? All five, including mine? At once? Seems like a big responsibility for ole Nogla, no?" He asked, taking a small sip of his tea. Yup, definitely cold.

"Aww, now you're just being all smug and petty." Jon pouted, setting his hands on his hips. David smiled at that, narrowing his eyes.

"Nu-uh." He simply said. He was waiting for them to cave in. To admit they needed his help.

Which, they were desperate enough to do, but they'd have to murder him multiple times in game to get straight with him.

"Ugh, David we need you. We don't know how to raise our kids properly and we need to take these classes. Will you please babysit our kids. I'll even pay if that's what you want." Brock groaned, stepping forward and leaning an arm against the door and as he looked down at David pleadingly.

The Irishman simply took another sip, remaining eye contact as he smiled up at the other.

"Nope. That's all I needed. Just call the school and have t'em know I'll be picking up the kids. Call me when your classes are over." He said, pressing his fingers to Brock's chest to push him away gently, before closing the door as if nothing happened.

Jon and Brock stood there in confusion, blinking at the closed door.

"Well that was easier than I thought." Jon cracked a smile, chuckling lightly as Brock grumbled at him.

"He took my pride." He mumbled, though it was mostly a joke... mostly.

"Hey, it's for the kids!" Jon smiled, patting him in the back reassuringly as they headed down the steps.

"Yeah, yeah. For the damn kids." Brock huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

***

"And now, we're gonna do a simple practice for those of you with newborn babies, or smaller babies. We're gonna show you exactly how to wrap up your child in this blanket. Like a baby burrito!" The woman said enthusiastically.

She had been speaking like this the whole time. Almost as if they were the children, or if she was the child herself. Maybe she used to be a kindergarten teacher.

Regardless of why she was speaking so happily, Brock and Jon were doing nothing but worrying. Well, mostly Brock.

They had been in this class for adults, for over three hours. Most of which had been practicing on how to properly speak to a child. The guys didn't understand it, they already knew how to talk to their kids. This was stupid.

However, there had been some things they learned. Like how not to raise your voice even if the child was talking back. Or how not to reward bad behavior.

Admittedly or not, there had been a lot of good tips they learned so far.

But it would be much easier to pay attention, if they weren't worrying about their kids so much.

School should have ended three hours ago, so they were fixed on wether David would be able to do this or not.

They hadn't really thought about it when he asked them specifically why they trusted him. But now they understood his hesitancy.

David was going to be watching all five kids, by himself, until these classes were over.

And before this all, the two fathers didn't think it would be a problem for their friend. He was a father himself, so he should know what he was doing. Brock had even thought the classes would be short, so they didn't have to worry too much about leaving the kids for too long.

But supposedly, due to more parents coming in, the lady the taught the adults, said that the class would go on for the whole day. Just to make sure- and in her words, 'so that parents would be able to go back home and know the basics on how to properly raise a child'.

And Brock was usually good at keeping his chill. He could keep his cool. Years of being with his friends taught him how.

But this was unbearable.

He kept glancing up at the clock, kept bouncing his knee. He was starting to gain some attention each time he tapped his pencil on the desk. And not the good kind of attention like the kind they got when stepping through and all those milf's looked at them seductively. But the kind of attention that was either annoyed by your anxiousness, or concerned.

Jon was on the concerned side.

"Yo, you good?" He whispered, flickering his eyes between Brock and the teacher. They were allowed to be seated wherever, and right now Brock was very grateful for that.

"Yeah just...I'm worried. Really worried." He admitted, keeping his eyes on the teacher to redirect his gaze from Jon's. Because one look at him, and Jon would know how scared he was.

He trusted David. He really did. But these were his kids. The only thing he had left besides his friends. He couldn't help but worry.

"Me too man- but, listen. This is David we're talking about. He knows what he's doing. I trust him. And I have a feeling that you do too." Jon said, lowering his voice even more so they didn't get caught.

Brock clentched his jaw, staring down at his wrapped up, stupid baby doll. He already know how to wrap a baby up.

"Look at Catherine. She's amazing. David's a great father. If he can handle us, he can handle them. Our kids aren't even as half as bad as we are. He's got this. He's great at what he does, dude." Jon went on. Trying to make sure Brock knew that they left their kids in good hands.

And it was definitely working. Jon did make a point.

"Yeah...he is great." He smiled a little. He was still a bit concerned, but he knew that David was trustworthy.

"I wonder what they're doing right now." He mumbled, earning a hum in agreement from Jon.

***

"Ah-! Sweetie no, don't touch that!" David called, trying to keep his voice gentle as he reached out for Sarah. She smiled brightly up at him as he grabbed the large kitchen knife from her hand.

It had a rubber cover on it, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

He returned her smile, trying not to be creeped out by her big blue eyes staring up at him.

Jon's kids were terrifying. Cute, but terrifying.

"Wait, wait, wait. Honey, where did you put the chocolate chips?" He asked nervously, glancing around the already destroyed kitchen to find the bag of chocolate.

"Lilly had them!" Briana said helpfully, looking rather proud as she mixed the overly chunky cookie dough.

"R-right." He laughed, using his thumb to wipe the flour from her nose before walking around the counter to find Lilly on the floor.

"Lilly, could I have those back?" He asked softly, crouching down to her level. She pouted with a mouth full of chocolate, rapidly shaking her head.

"Please? I'll give you all extra cookie brownies of ye give me the chocolate?" He offered. She seemed to hesitate a bit at that, pursing her lips before making up her mind and giving him the chocolate back.

"Thanks dear, I'll make sure ta make it extra chocolatey." He smiled, moving back over to set the bag down on the counter.

He sighed heavily, looking around at the mess.

He knew that this would be a challenge, but this was a tad bit harder than he intended. Of course, he should've seen this coming because of who their fathers were.

He had offered to make brownie cookies for the kids, and they had all willingly agreed. But they had looked rather bored just playing in the backyard. Mostly just sitting around and playing with the flowers, so he asked if they wanted to help.

If he had known their 'help' came along with three missing wooden spoons, a flour fight, stolen chocolate chips, knife hoarding, raw eggs thrown at his fridge and two broken bowls, then he would've come more prepared.

He didn't mind the mess. Yes, it was gonna be a pain in the ass to clean, but they were just kids. That what they did. In his mind, it was their way of expressing themselves. David hadn't ever had this much time with Brock's or Jon's kids, so this was sort of fun to him.

"Listen kids, how about you go wash up and watch some TV while I finish this. Hmm? Catherine can show ye guys how ta find the Cartoons." He said enthusiastically, hoping to have them mirror it.

"Yay! Cartoons!" Cathy grinned, already running for the bathroom with the line of kids behind her. David chuckled at their cuteness, sighing as he turned on the sink.

"Guess Jon wasn't lying. They are a handful." He laughed, reaching for a cleaning rag under the sink.

***

The brownie cookies had been devoured immediately after David finished making them. He was glad he made another secret batch and stored it in the fridge for later.

The kids liked them, and he was glad that they had the decency to thank him. Not like his friends ever would, so he was glad at least their kids did.

They watched TV for a bit before they had gotten hungry again. David didn't want to upset their stomachs with all that chocolate they ate beforehand, so he made them a healthier treat.

He may eat like a dying man, but he wasn't gonna push that diet on them.

They didn't necessarily like the idea of salad and peanut butter celery sticks at first. But when he threw in some yogurt, they immediately caved in and ate all their salad like it was their favorite thing on the planet.

He knew they were just kissing ass to finally get their yogurt, but he didn't mind the smug, proud looks on their faces when they each got a stick of gogurt. He had to help Damien by handfeeding him in a small cup since he was too young, but he didn't mind.

He in fact liked it. It reminded him of when Cathy was still a baby and he had to learn it all from scratch. Now, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Later on, the kids wanted to play. He didn't have that many toys or choices to go by, because Catherine liked to watch cartoons more than play make believe. However, she was feeling rather adventurous today and wanted to play along to the tea party the other kids were having.

They asked David to play as well, and though he was an adult, he had the mind of a child and an imagination of one too. So he eagerly agreed.

It was funny to see the kids act out different scenarios and talk to Cathy's stuffed toys as if they were people.

And during the moment, David hadn't understood why Brock and Jon had been struggling with them. These kids were angels to him.

Until bath time.

Dinner had been rather peaceful. They chatted as they ate their spaghetti, and it seemed as if they were mature adults. Even if Briana got all technical like did Brock from time to time. But he liked it.

And then when he put them in the tub, all hell broke loose again. He didn't want them to feel uncomfortable, so he bathed them in pairs with their siblings. 

Catherine had been pretty tame. She loved baths, just like David. She especially liked the bubbles.

Briana and Damien had been a bit hard. Briana was worried that the drain would suck them up, but that's to be expected from a child with an overly active imagination. But her fear caused Damien to freak out a bit. He was still pretty young, so he didn't understand when David told him there was a plug. He though eventually got them to calm down with Cathy's bubble blower.

Sarah and Lilly though, were much harder. Sarah had wanted a bath bomb, something she said Jon gave them all the time. David wasn't sure those were ok for kids, so he mentally notes to talk to Jon about that. But he eased her pouting with a rubber ducky. Lilly had been crying about her dad.

Which, was totally understandable. He highly doubted that they had been away from their fathers much, so he didn't take it too personal when they both started to cry for Jon.

David didn't want to call Jon and bother him, so he had pulled up one of his music videos on his phone and let it play throughout the rest of the time he washed them. They had been dancing, so it was harder to clean them, but he was just glad that they weren't crying anymore.

He brushed their hair and their teeth, and they had been pretty cooperative. They still had tons of energy, so it did take longer than he intended, but that's expected.

When they were all cleaned up and ready for bed, he let them all squeeze on Cathy's bed. She had a pretty large one considering him and Aliyah had been too lazy to buy some expensive looking child's bed. Like the ones that are shaped into race cars and castles or some shit.

Sarah and Lilly were pretty small. As well as Damien, so he had them in the middle so that they wouldn't fall off in the middle of the night.

He was exhausted. Tired even. But he knew they still had energy left, and used the rest of his own to read them bedtime stories.

He hadn't ran around, and been occupied like this in forever. Catherine still had her moments of course, but she was pretty laid back when she wasn't on her sugar high. He was convinced to think she had ADHD like him.

The kids liked the way he read. Always laughing when he made funny voices and reacted to the book himself. They were ones he hadn't read in a while, so it was almost new to him and Cathy.

They were pretty drowsy by the fifth book, but didn't want him to go just yet.

"David, could you sing? Sometimes my daddy sings to us." Briana asked sleepily, barely being able to keep her eyes open, but was determined to hear the man sing for her.

"Oh. Uh, sure. What kind of songs do ye like?" He asked, looking between the children. Sarah and Catherine were on the brink of passing out, so he was mostly directing his question to the other three.

"I dunno. My daddy usually just shings twinkle twinkle little star, or that one 'bout a lady bug." Lilly mumbled with slurred words, slinging her arm around her sisters chest.

David snorted, setting his book down as he sat up a bit. Of course Jon wouldn't sing any other song than the two most repetitive nursery rhymes.

"Of course he does. Well...how about a real song? Have ye ever heard of Glimpse of Us?" He asked softly, keeping his voice low and above a whisper.

"No, what's that?" Briana asked. Damien was just as close to passing out as the other two, so he turned most of his attention to the other two girls.

"It's a song. Want me ta sing it? Probably the only PG song I know, ta be honest." He said, mumbling the last part to himself.

"Yes please." Sarah said with a yawn, causing a chain of four more yawns to rip from the kid's mouths. David laughed at them, yawning himself before he sat himself more comfortably.

He was sure this wouldn't be the only song he sang tonight, but yet again, he didn't mind. He just hoped the kids were satisfied.

***

"Brock, are you sure you called him?" Jon asked as he ran up the steps of the house. Brock quickly closed the car doors, shivering slightly from the chill of the night.

"Yes like, three times already." He said, showing his phone for proof. Jon huffed in impatience, raising his hand to bang on the door.

"Wait- don't do that!" Brock hissed, yanking his arm back.

"Why not? They could be in danger! Why else wouldn't he awnser his phone?" Jon asked in concern, about ready to yank his arm away and barge through the door.

"Well they could be sleeping or something." Brock tried to reason, but he himself was worried as well.

David specifically told them to call when their class was over. But the called him three times, and no awnser. Not even a text.

They know they could just be overreacting, but could you blame them?

"Just- fine. We'll go in ourselves then." Jon huffed, reaching under the welcome mat to find the spare key. Brock was tempted to stop Jon, thinking that this was a little intrusive; but he as well was eternally freaking out.

Millions of 'what ifs' running through his head.

He winced as the door made a small click when Jon turned the key, instantly placing it back under the rug before heading inside.

Brock followed close by, closing the door behind him gently. Because if there was some kind of murderer or kidnapper, they could very well still be in the house. And it would be better to find them first, then be the ones found.

Jon immediately went looking around. Starting from rhe living room, to the kitchen, to the guest room, and finally to the end of the hallway where Cathy's room was.

Their footsteps had been quick and quiet, trying to find their kids as fast as possible.

But once reaching the last door, all their worry washed away in a snap. David was sitting in a chair next to the big bed, that had all the kids cuddled up and warm under a large purple comforter.

He was leaning over and resting his elbow on the edge, placing his cheek on his palm. The other hand was playing with Catherine's curls, twirling it around his finger. David was singing softly, but the words came out more like hums or mumbles, though the pretty melody was still there.

Brock and Jon immediately untensed, letting out small sighs of relief as they exchanged a glance.

They really had been overreacting.

Jon leaned against the doorframe as Brock crossed his arms over his chest, fond smiles coming to their faces as David continued to sing them to sleep.

The sight was just too adorable, they didn't want to interrupt.

David was nodding off, clearly trying to keep himself awake as he shifted his feet on the ground to keep himself up. A small pink nightlight was on by the bedside lamp, and have an almost angelic glow to his already godly features.

"-and she...she...what was I singin'?" He mumbled, frowning slightly as he stilled his hand in Cathy's hair. He then shrugged and went on to humm a different song.

Brock couldn't help but snort at that, causing David to jump slightly and snap his head over to them with wide eyes.

He then sighed heavily, hunching over in the chair as he saw who they were.

"God, you two scared te shit outta me." He groaned, earning a few more quiet laughs in return.

"Yeah, sorry about breaking in. Brock was worried." Jon lied, getting an offended look from the other.

"I- wha- dude. You were the one that called him three times and you were the one to decide to use his spare key." Brock pointed out, making Jon glare at him, blushing in embarrassment and betrayal as David stood up.

"Ah, it's fine. I understand why ye got so scared. But, we're all fine. No need ta get all overprotective." He smiled lazily, stretching his arms over his head before turning back to the kids.

"Did they give you trouble?" Jon asked, though already expecting a certain awnser. What he didn't expect, was for David to say the opposite.

"Actually...they did pretty good. Had a bit ups and downs, but they listen pretty well." He explained, leaning over to give each of them a kiss on the nose.

Which was pretty cute in itself. Even more so when David turned to them and smiled all sleepy like.

"Come. Let's talk out here so we don't wake them." He whispered, nudging them out of the room so he could close it to a crack.

They followed mindlessly as he walked to his room, leaving the door open for them to enter.

"So did ye guys learn anything helpful?" He started conversation, talking normally as he moved to his dresser.

"Eh, something like that. Got a few good pointers, and learned how to quote on quote 'communicate', but other than that, it was mostly newborn baby stuff." Brock replied, instantly snapping his head away when David moved to take his shirt off and switch it out for a looser, bigger t-shirt. Jon didn't care to look away.

"Oh yeah? Sounds fun." He rolled his eyes, giggling with Brock groaned in exhaustion. It was anything but fun.

"Fun? Sure man. If getting hit on by all the milf's is considered 'fun', then yeah. We had a blast." Jon said jokingly, earning another laugh from the Irishman.

"Well I'm sure ye guys are tired. If you want, ye can leave ta kids here and pick them up in the mornin'. I don't mind it." He said, pulling his pants off and tossing them onto his dresser.

The two watched as David walked over to his bed, flopping down into the center and pulling the blankets over him.

"Or ye can sleep here wit' me. I don't care." He said with a yawn, snuggling into his bed like he didn't care they were still currently standing in his room. And honestly, he didn't.

They were adults. If they wanted to leave, they could leave. If they wanted to stay, they could stay.

"Uh...sure." Jon finally said, shrugging at Brock before he took his shirt and pants off. Leaving him in his boxers. Brock stared in confusion as Jon slipped into the bed. Immediately throwing his arm around David as if this was all natural to him.

Brock was confused why David didn't shift away or push jon and call him 'gay'. But he quickly realized why when soft snores were heard from him.

Jon smirked at him, wiggling his eyebrows as he pulled David closer, teasing him. Brock scoffed, rolling his eyes before following suit.

He stripped down to his boxers as well before finding rest on David's other side, but not touching him.

"Pussy." Jon whispered, earning a huff from Brock before he slung his own arm around David.

God, Jon was a manipulative asshole.

"Shut up, you like it." He chuckled, as if he could hear Brock's thoughts.

"Screw you. I'm not gay." He hissed back, regardless, tightening his grip around David.

"Uh-huh. And what were doing isn't gay?" Jon asked, raising a brow as Brock could only blush in embarrassment.

"Shut up dickhead." He sighed, getting another laugh, but Jon seemed to drop it and just go to sleep. Something Brock was very thankful about.

***

David shifted as the brightness of the sun shines through his eyelids, effectively edging him closer to wake. He whined in protest, attempting to turn over and rid of the bright light.

But he seemed to not move. Actually, he couldn't move. He shot his eyes open in a small state of panic, only to heavily sigh in relief when he realized it was just Jon and Brock trapping him in-between their chests...

Wait-

He immediately sat up, wincing at the small groans he got from them in protest. But despite that, they didn't seem to be showing any signs of getting up just yet.

David sighed, looking down at his legs to see the reason for his immobility. But he couldn't be too mad when he saw the sight of all the kids surrounding their legs like animals. It was cute, really.

He giggled lightly, quick to cover his mouth when he saw the kids start to stir.

Sarah was the first to wake up, blinking around lazily before her eyes found him. She frowned up at him, as if trying to figure out who he was for a second.

"Mommy?" She eventually asked. Her voice thick and raspy. David choked at that, quickly shaking his head.

"Uh- n-no. I'm not your mommy. But you can call me Uncle David if ye want?" He quickly said, for some reason blushing at the thought of being the kids' mother. That would imply that he was dating their fathers and oh God- would that be embarrassing.

"Mom- mommy?" Lilly asked, waking up to the conversation. Sounding more confused than accusing than Sarah had. As if she was confused why her sister had called him mommy, but also didn't deny that it felt right to view him as such.

"No, girls-" David laughed, reaching a hand over to run his fingers through Sarah's hair.

"I'm not your mommy." He repeated softly, rather tired to actually go into full detail as to why.

"Mum!" Damien exclaimed, suddenly having this random burst of energy. David quickly shushed him, glancing back at Jon and Brock to make sure they weren't heading this.

Still sleeping, thank God.

"Guys can be mommies? Wow, I didn't know that. Does that make you my mommy?" Catherine spoke, shifting up from her spot asleep on the bed to sit up.

Why were kids so energetic in the morning?!

"W-well, not really." David replied, scratching his head in thought. Briana made a small noise of confusion, sitting up straight as Cathy had.

"But you act like a mama. You fed us, baked cookies with us, you played tea party with us. You even gave us baths and sang us to sleep." She lifted off, tapping each finger as she counted them off. The kids looked at him expectedly, waiting for more words of denial that they'd certainly overshadow again.

"Well...I'm not dating your daddies, which means I'm not your mommy." He offered, already feeling his face heat up more from this conversation.

Why was he discussing this with children? It was too early for this.

"That's it! All ya have to do is date our daddies! Then you can be our mommy, and we can all be one big happy family!" Lilly exclaimed, the rest of the kids cheering in agreement.

David laughed in embarrassment, hiding his red face into his palms.

"K-kids, quiet down yeah? W-we wouldn't want ta wake up these two okay? How about ye go brush yer teeth and then I'll meet ye in the kitchen ta make pancakes. Sound good?" He offered, and then just like that, the cheering was directed onto the idea of food, and the kids were spilling out the room faster than he'd ever seen toddlers and babies run.

David sighed heavily, giggling to himself as he ran a hand through his messy bed hair.

"Dear Lord please save me from this embarrassment, it's too early fer gay thoughts." He mumbled, sliding out of bed and heading over to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of knee highs socks and pulled them on, not caring to put on pants since his shirt was long enough anyways.

"Mommy. Psh, they called me mommy." He laughed to himself, yawning as he walked out of the room and into the empty hallway.

The room stayed quiet for some time, the district chatter from the kids in the kitchen being the only noise besides David speaking to them and the birds chirping outside.

"Hey Brock?" Jon eventually asked, opening his eyes from his fake-sleep and looking over to Brock. Who at being greeted, opened his own eyes. Both having an obvious blush on their faces.

"What?" Brock asked, tiredly blinking at the other.

"Do you think he'd let us, like...fuck him?" Jon asked, smirking when Brock sighed and pulled himself up.

"Yup. That's enough chit chat for me." He said, making the other laugh in amusement.

The two quickly got up from bed and pulled their pants on, heading straight for the kitchen where all the commotion was going on.

"Daddy!" Briana cheered, running over to greet her father.

"Hi! How are you?" He asked in a slightly higher pictured voice, bending over to pick his daughter up.

"Oh! Good morning." David greeted them, already grabbing two cups of coffee with one hand and heading in their direction.

"I usually put whipped cream for my own coffee, but te kid's decided ye guys weren't worthy enough fer it." He said. Almost sounding apologetic as he handed them their cups.

They couldn't help but to stare at him. With his messy unbrushed hair and his rosy cheeks from the cold of the morning. He was adorable.

"Aww, why not?" Jon asked, faking a pout as he looked at the kids. Who were seated on barstools and eating at the counter. Damien was resting in David's right arm, leaning his head on the man's chest. He seemed to still be slightly asleep, and David's slight bouncing wasn't helping him wake up any more than he was.

"Because, only pretty people can have whipped cream." Catherine said sassily, eyeing the two up and down as if she was judging them. Jon scoffed in fake offense at that, as David could only cover his face in embarrassment.

"Oh dear..." He muttered, shaking his head with a slight laugh.

"So David's pretty enough and we're not?" Brock asked, tilting his head at the kids to find their logic. Though he couldn't argue on the first part.

"Mommy David is way prettier." Lilly grinned, making Jon choke on his coffee as David was referred to as the M word again.

"Darling, everyone is at least a little pretty. Can't t'ey just have a bit? Just a tiny bit?" David asked, directing his gaze at the kids to change the subject already.

The kids all glanced between the three dads, seeming to be thinking hard.

"Hmm, fine. But only a little." Sarah huffed, playfully glaring at Brock and Jon as if it was their fault. David laughed at that, grabbing the can of whipped cream from the counter he used to put on the kids' pancakes to put some into their coffee.

Briana gasped as David made a more than 'a little' mountain in their cups, looking at him in betrayal.

"Hey! That's not a little!" She laughed, reaching over to steal some from Brock's cup with her finger.

"Whoops, my finger must've slipped." David laughed, moving over to set Damien down in the baby stool before walking towards the stove.

"Ye guys hungry?" He asked, looking over to the two of them. They just stared at him, feeling a weird warmth flooding in their chests.

It was like the first time they had met Liz and Lauren. A warm passion that took up their time and filled their heads with the need to be closer to the one they loved.

It was funny how easily David connected with the kids. Bickering playfully with them, playing into their chit chat and even calling eachother nicknames as if they were a family.

A real, loving family. They could get used to it.

"Yeah. I'm starving." Jon mumbled, him and Brock admiring the smile David sent them before he focused on the food.

Maybe they didn't have to the spend the rest of their lives alone. Maybe they already had a family. A complete, family.

9,460 words

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Here ya go!

Sorry I haven't posted here in a while, stuffs been busy!

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay beautiful!

Until next time my loves!

XD

💜🖤💜

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Featured or mentioned characters:

Main -

Nogla - David

H2ODelirious - Jon

Moo - Brock

Featured -

VanossGaming - Evan

Terroriser - Brian

Ms.Vixen - Lanai

IAmWildcat - Tyler

LuiCalibre - Lui

Fourzeroseven - Scotty

Fissy - Chrissy

BigJigglyPanda - Anthony

BasicallyIDoWrk - Marcel

RacingCats - Cody