#as in you dont need to reply with a long theory response it's just...

[divinerivals]

Now look I've been an Elain's book is next truther since I finished Acosf. So what I'm about to say I still think this is what shes hinting at, but damn wouldn't it be hilarious if she's not hinting Elain and it's Tamlin. And Tamlin gets a redemption arc a la the Chaol special with Briar as the love interest. Then the next book is Elain and Lucien. If the novella still happens it's Azriel.

I would laugh so hard. Shows this toxic fandom that she really gives zero fucks about your ship war.

[ms-snape]

I got you 😀 I hope i am not the only one who send you requests.

Daddy snape x daughter reader (maybe preschool age) He is home alone with her. Her mother/snape wife is somewhere out. She start asking quentions about her mom, how they met, how much they love eachother, how she was born etc. Sev is little bit confused and dont know how to response.

Title: The Magic Of being A parent

Warning: none just pure fluff, platonic relationship

Word count: 2000+

A/N: Sorry took me pretty long to write it, it's cause school just started for me and I was pretty busy lately, I spent half of the week end dowing homawordks and the other half writing this, so I hope u'll like it even though it's not so good in my opinion. <3

(y/d/n= your daughter's name)

Masterlist

--

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden hue over the grounds, its rays filtering through the tall, ancient trees. Inside the walls of the house , the air was pleasantly cool, a comforting contrast to the warmth outside. Severus Snape sat in the dimly lit living room, a tome of Potions theory splayed open on his lap. The only sound was the soft rustle of parchment as he turned a page, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Suddenly, a high-pitched giggle broke the silence, echoing off the stone walls.

“Daddy, can we play now?” A small figure bounded into the room, her dark hair bouncing with each enthusiastic step. Y/D/N, a bright-eyed five-year-old, was a bundle of energy, her small hands tugging at her father’s robes.

Severus looked up, his expression shifting from one of studious focus to mild bewilderment. “I suppose so,” he replied, his voice low and gravelly, a stark contrast to the exuberance of his daughter.

“Yay!” She clapped her hands together, the sound ringing like tiny bells. “Can we play with the toys? The ones with the wizards and the dragons?”

He sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Very well. But keep the noise to a minimum. I have much to think about.”

“Okay!” She hopped onto the floor, her little feet padding against the cold stone as she raced to the toy chest. The lid creaked open with a loud crack, and Y/D/N began to rummage through the colorful assortment of magical figurines.

“What’s this one?” she asked, holding up a small dragon, its scales shimmering in the dim light. “Can it breathe fire?”

“Only in a child’s imagination,” Severus replied, watching as she cradled the toy against her chest, her eyes wide with wonder.

After a moment, she looked up, her expression shifting from playful to serious. “Daddy, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he muttered, preparing himself for the barrage of questions he knew would follow.

“Where’s Mommy?” Her voice was soft, tinged with a hint of confusion.

Severus paused, the question hanging in the air like a delicate spider’s web. “She went to a meeting,” he replied, his tone steady but his heart tightening at the thought of his wife being away.

“Is she coming back soon?” Y/D/N's brow furrowed as she tilted her head, her innocence shining through her concern.

“Yes, she will return shortly,” he assured her, though he could not help but feel the weight of his words. “You don't need to worry.”

Y/D/N nodded, but her curiosity was not so easily quelled. “How did you and Mommy meet?”

Severus raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by the depth of her question. “Well, it was a long time ago…” He trailed off, searching for the right words. “We met at Hogwarts, during our time as students.”

“Students?” She giggled again, the sound light and airy. “But you’re a teacher! Are you a student too?”

“Not anymore,” he clarified, trying to suppress a smirk at her logic. “I was a student long before you were born. Your mother was my classmate.”

“Did you like her then?” Y/D/N asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

Severus shifted in his chair, the question stirring a mix of emotions within him. “At first, I did not regard her as anything more than a fellow student,” he admitted, recalling their early days in the Potions classroom. “But over time, I grew to admire her intelligence and strength.”

Y/D/N’s face lit up, her small fingers fiddling with the dragon toy. “Did you tell her? Did you say, ‘I like you' to mommy?” She giggled, the innocent suggestion causing Severus to chuckle softly.

“I was not as brave as you might think,” he replied, his tone laced with a hint of nostalgia. “It took me a considerable time before I found the courage to express my feelings.”

“Courage?” Y/D/N echoed, her brows knitting together as she struggled with the word. “What’s that mean?”

“It means the ability to do something that frightens you,” he explained, leaning forward slightly, intrigued by her earnestness. “Like when you stand up to mean people or try something new.”

Her eyes widened, a mixture of awe and determination. “So, was it scary to tell Mommy you liked her?”

“Very much so,” Severus admitted, recalling the nervousness that had gripped him that day. “But I was fortunate. She felt the same way.”

“Did you kiss?” Y/D/N’s voice was a whisper now, as if the very notion of such affection was sacred.

Severus felt a warmth in his chest at the thought. “Yes... Indeed, We shared a brief embrace. It was… memorable.”

“Memorable!” She squealed, bouncing on the tips of her toes. “Like when I'll got my first wand? Or When I'll go to Hogwarts? Will that be memorable too daddy?”

“Yes,Precisely,” he said, amused at her ability to draw connections. But then, she pivoted once more, her expression shifting to something more serious.

“Do you love Mommy?”

The question hung in the air, thick with the weight of sincerity. Severus’s heart softened as he considered his answer. “More than I can express,” he replied earnestly. “Love is not merely a word; it is a commitment, a promise to stand by one another.”

“Love is a promise?” Y/D/N asked, her eyes wide.

“Exactly,” he nodded, his tone firm. “A promise to support and care for one another, no matter the circumstances.”

She pondered this, her small fingers tracing the edges of the dragon toy. “So, if I make a promise to you, I have to keep it?”

“Yes, and it is important that you do,” Severus affirmed, appreciating her earnestness. “A promise is a bond that should not be broken.”

“Okay!” She beamed, her enthusiasm infectious. “I promise to help you with your potions! Even the stinky ones!”

Severus chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “I appreciate your willingness, but I fear you may not enjoy some of the more pungent ingredients, you're too young dear.”

“But stinky potions are fun!” Y/D/N declared, her voice rising with excitement. “Like the one that makes you smell like a skunk! Can you make that one, Daddy?”

“I assure you, I have no desire to create such a potion,” he replied, his lips curving into a smile. “However, I can demonstrate a few simpler ones. Perhaps a calming draught? It would help you relax.���

“Calming draught?” Her brows knitted again. “What’s that?”

“A potion that can soothe anxious feelings,” he explained, enjoying the way her face lit up with interest. “It can help ease a troubled mind.”

“Like when I feel scared at night?” Y/D/N’s voice was small, and in her eyes, Severus saw a flicker of vulnerability.

“Exactly,” he said gently. “It can help you feel safe and secure.”

She nodded, her little brow furrowed in thought. “Can you make it for me, Daddy? So I won’t be scared?”

Severus felt a pang in his chest at the innocence of her request. “I can teach you how to brew it, if you like. It is quite simple, really.”

“Yay! I want to learn!” She jumped up, her excitement bubbling over. “Can we do it now? Please?”

He glanced at the tome still resting on his lap, the text blurring into the background as he watched his daughter. “Very well. Let us gather the ingredients.”

“Yay!” She clapped her hands again, her laughter ringing through the room like music.

As they prepared for their impromptu potions room, Severus found himself surprisingly at ease. Y/D/N’s energy was infectious; she darted around the kitchen, pulling out various jars and containers, her small hands working with a determination that reminded him of her mother.

“Do we need the shiny leaf?” she asked, holding up a jar filled with dried herbs, the sunlight catching the contents and casting little rainbows on the wall.

“Indeed, that is an essential ingredient,” he replied, stepping closer. “But be careful not to spill any.”

“I won’t!” She grinned, carefully measuring out a pinch with exaggerated concentration. “Like this?”

“Precisely,” Severus said, watching her with a mix of pride and amusement. It was moments like these that made the weight of his responsibilities feel lighter, moments that reminded him of the joy in family and the simple act of being together.

As the two of them worked side by side, Y/D/N began to chatter again, her curiosity unquenchable. “Daddy, how did you and Mommy get together? Was it like a fairy tale?”

“A fairy tale?” The notion made him chuckle. “Not quite. Our story is filled with its own challenges and struggles.”

“Like dragons?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Not exactly,” he corrected gently. “More like obstacles that we had to overcome together. But through it all, we found our way to one another.”

“Was it scary?” she pressed on, her small hands busy mixing the ingredients.

“Sometimes,” he admitted, reminiscing about the dark days during the first Wizarding War, when uncertainty hung over them like a storm cloud. “But love has a way of guiding us through even the most difficult of times.”

“Daddy, Do you think I can find love too?” Y/D/N asked suddenly, her expression earnest, as if the weight of the world rested on her small shoulders.

Severus paused, taken aback by the intensity of her question. “One day, when you are older, you will understand love in your own way,” he replied slowly. “But for now, focus on the love that surrounds you—like the love of family and friends.”

“Like the love from you and Mommy?” she beamed, her face lighting up at the thought.

“Yes,” he said simply, his heart swelling with affection. “And always remember that love takes time to grow.”

“Okay! I’ll wait!” Y/D/N declared, her enthusiasm unwavering. “But I still want to be a dragon when I grow up!”

“A dragon?” Severus feigned surprise, raising an eyebrow. “And how do you propose to achieve that?”

“By learning magic!” she exclaimed, her laughter infectious. “And maybe getting a shiny tail!”

“Ah, yes. A shiny tail would certainly be impressive,” he replied, allowing himself to get swept up in her imagination.

As the potion bubbled gently on the stove, the air filled with the warm, earthy scent of herbs, creating an atmosphere that was both comforting and familiar. Severus watched Y/D/N as she danced around the kitchen, her laughter echoing off the walls, and for a moment, it was as if the world outside ceased to exist.

“What’s your favorite thing about Mommy?” Y/D/N asked, her tone suddenly serious again.

Severus considered her question carefully, his mind drifting to the countless moments they had shared. “Her kindness,” he finally said. “She has a way of seeing the best in others, even when they cannot see it themselves.”

“Like you?” Y/D/N’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Daddy, you’re the best! I love you!”

His heart warmed at her declaration, and he felt a softness wash over him. “I love you too, my dear,” he replied, his voice low and sincere.

“Can we make a potion for Mommy when she gets home?” Y/D/N asked, her excitement bubbling over once more.

“Of course,” Severus agreed, his heart swelling with affection. “We will create something special for her.”

“Yay! A surprise!” She clapped her hands, her giggles filling the room with joy.

As they finished brewing the calming draught, the atmosphere shifted, a sense of magic weaving through the air. The bond between father and daughter deepened, each shared laugh and every curious question drawing them closer together.

Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed from the entrance hall. Y/D/N’s eyes widened, and she paused mid-giggle. “Is that Mommy?”

Severus nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. “It seems she is back.”

“Yay! Let’s surprise her!” Y/D/N dashed toward the door, her laughter trailing behind her like a melody.

Severus followed at a more measured pace, allowing the warmth of the moment to envelop him. As Y/D/N flung open the door, her face lit up with joy.

“Mommy!” she squealed, launching herself into Y/N’s arms.

Y/N laughed, her eyes sparkling with love as she enveloped their daughter in a warm embrace. “I missed you, sweetheart!”

Severus stood back, watching the scene unfold with a softness in his heart. The worries of the world outside faded into the background, eclipsed by the love radiating from his family.

“Did you have fun with Dad?” Y/N asked, her gaze turning to him.

“Yeah! We made potions! And I asked him about love!” Y/D/N exclaimed, her words tumbling over one another in excitement.

Severus raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Oh? And what did you learn?”

“Daddy said that love is like a promise!” she declared, her voice ringing with certainty.

Y/N turned to Severus, her expression a mix of amusement and pride. “I see you’ve been busy,” she said, a smile dancing on her lips.

“Indeed,” Severus replied, a hint of bashfulness creeping into his voice. “It seems I have been outmatched by her boundless curiosity.”

Y/N chuckled, wrapping an arm around Y/D/N. “That’s the magic of being a parent,” she said warmly. “You never know what you’ll discover.”

As they settled into a cozy evening together, the air filled with laughter and stories, Severus felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. In this moment, surrounded by his family, he understood that love was not just a promise; it was the very essence of their lives together.

And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow through the windows, Severus Snape knew that no matter the challenges they faced, their love would always guide them home.

[iriemorning]

sunburnt

in the middle of the week back in May i got sick. i was bed-ridden while i was catching up with my readings for classes, but mentally and emotionally my mind was elsewhere. how do i cater more of my time to my partner? what should i do to make the sparks last? merriment of worries dawned upon my quiet moments before bed, before the dreamscape fell upon my consciousness. 

little did i know that in the feat of shining brighter to make my lover warm, i got burnt. physically. mentally. emotionally. spiritually.

it was only day five of us being together but i was hanging on a thread.

i already established that im not an everyday person. it's a great toll for me to always do the same thing every single day. but the last few days before that my eyes and hands were almost always glued to my phone, in the mornings and in the evenings, and when i'm occupied with something else, he's still at the back of my mind. if he hits me up next, what do i reply? what parts of myself should i reveal more so he can be satisfied? it's amazing how it has already become easy for me to do that. but only when it comes to him. my deepest thoughts? only for his ears.

day by day, i was getting ready to chip away parts of myself to accompany him when he feels lonely. you have to always remind them that you're there, that you care, and to look at the brighter side of things. i pretty much achieved that by myself with my spiritual shenanigans earlier this year, and i wanted to show him the way. my mind was set. i had an objective. but there was a time he hasnt been online for almost 24 hours, and i got so worried sick if i did something wrong, or if my messages were too much. since i was always used to getting jinxed or sabotaged, or people i like never getting too deep with me, maybe no one would ever will. maybe i was the one making mistakes. after all, whatever happens on this relationship is my full responsibility. if external influences can sabotage my ideas, i can internally sabotage as much of whatever i have as well, however precious it might be to me.

years of interacting with him i was always walking on eggshells like this. every step i fear that something will crack. sometimes for the better, or sometimes for worse. but there's always change. since we're in a new relationship, i was still apprehensive about us, if we are really meant to do this, even if i wanted it for so long. after all, once you achieve something you wanted, there's always that unreal feeling you get that what you envisioned years ago is already in front of you. and you start to question if you are really capable of it. love is one thing, relationship is another. love is intangible. relationship requires maintenance. it's like machine gears that needs to be inspected and cleaned daily to prevent malfunctions. and so i have to show up everyday. if i dont and something bad happens, it's on me. atleast thats how i felt. and so i always faced him with the means of a monk, the charisma of a bombshell, and the resolve of a soldier.

i am old enough to know better on how to make it work in theory and like how i watched it in romance movies but i'm still so young and inexperienced to handle such great of an opportunity that can probably last me for this lifetime. because what would you do if your new partner is already hinting at you being his wife and having kids? in less than a week of being in a relationship? it was such a scary and thrilling prospect because i never thought that far about our future. i just really like him, that's all. although i have always imagined myself, with greying hair, sitting on a reclining chair, staring at the porch of some house in Norway, and waiting for the sun to set so i can see the auroras. in that dream i was alone. and it took me a full night of crying and my body being 39 degrees when i realized that my dream has changed. i'm not alone anymore. i was cupping his face in my palms and i kissed his wrinkly forehead, as we watched the auroras together. with this great of a dream in your hands, you really cant help but treat the relationship seriously and religiously. i treated it as a duty, a dharma. love has become a battle that i need to win over.

and then i woke up. tired as hell, my eyes bloodshot red and body still running a fever, but emotionally my heart has found its place; or atleast the future me has. and i just need the present version of me to catch up to that vision. later that day i also found out that the reason my boyfriend hasnt been online is because he slept for almost 24 hours because of jet lag. i just laughed my worries about the day before and moved on.

oh boy, how easy it was if you just treat burnout as a state of mind, really. just partner it up with an equally intense mindset shift: i used up all my energy to make something work and im so fucking proud of it. looking back at it now, it may not be the healthiest and sustainable, but it does give you big results: he dived deeper with me. my insane thoughts were met with an equally insane response. im really starting to think that my retirement vision is not just any other pipe dream, and that he can meet me there. as long as he's beside me in my weakest, i do not fear anymore to burn myself out in my working days over and over again.

all to kiss his wrinkly forehead.

[seekinginnerwisdom]

I am an older female INFP and I first took the test as a teen and have consistently gotten the same results, regardless of website or version of test. And I was always kinda secretly proud to be one because my mom was struggling with my teen sister's bipolar/hormone powered rage and my dad, I think, was one of us too. He was a reserved, weird, sweet, unfocused mess who avoided conflict unless drafted (little war humor, get it from my dad). So I became my mom's confidant which made me feel helpful and special at the time but i now know probably wasnt "healthy".

Fast forward to now and I've earned a number of invisible "survivor of *insert trauma*" medals for myself. And just recently earned myself a small one for "surviving break up with first boyfriend after divorce" Its doesnt have a catchy title and I dont know how I they fit all the words on such a small surface but I'm proud of my small accomplishment. 13 years married, 6 years single, 2.5 years with him...alone again.

Shouldn't I be devastated longer than a week? He did it really poorly, too. Asked for a break a week before which took me by surprise, then 4 days later he told me he loved me and didnt want to break up but still needed time to figure things out, a few days later and its I want to be your friend but nothing more.

It was a back and forth conversation and he's telling me he's not attracted to me anymore and quickly adds "it's not because of the weight" (to clarify I have been struggling with my stomach and have lost 40 lbs which sounds great, unless you weren't overweight before and now I look like a skeleton). When he said that I couldn't help but laugh in that hurt way, where its brevity and pain mixed with a scoff (just me?) And not expecting a reply I rolled my eyes away from him and ask "so it's just me as a person" and there wasnt much hesitation before I hear a soft but steady "yes" behind me. As you can imagine, I didnt respond well to having my entire existence be rejected so i did something he had never seen me do. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my car. Then I tried to go back to work. Yup, he broke up with me in the middle of the work day. I'm sorry this is so long and I even skipped parts.

I left early and took a pill or two more than recommended and just ran away from consciousness as fast as modern medicine could get me there. (I dont post much so I dont know if I need to worry about responses but I took low doses of anti anxiety meds that wouldnt harm me unless i consume the whole bottle. I took 1 mg more than normal. Dont attack me). I got him to be more specific in his choice of break up methods the next week after texting to let him know I wrote a 7 page goodbye letter and how he has come out of this looking like a psychopath.

Is it an INFP thing? When someone hurts me or angers me and I'm trying to speak it's a lot of ums or long pauses. But hand me a pen or a keyboard and fill me will righteous rage...you cant stop me. If I know anything at all about you then you will receive a paragraph like you are reading right now filled with oddly observational criticism, I will hit upon at least one thing your sensitive about and end it all with a guilt trip so strong only the Catholically trained can weather it well.

I think he was afraid of the letter because he had been receiving the texts but not replying. He responded pretty quickly after that. After days of contradicting actions, trains of thought that burst into flames as it derailed and red string theory memes he finally told me that his decision to take a break, reassure me and then dump me in such an abrupt manner on a workday, twice btw, was because he really hadn't thought about it...

Now this is going to sound strange but I am so glad my exhusband had been abusive because it taught me control. Otherwise I would have hit him. Who does that?! Im 99% sure he wasnt lying because he's a blunt INTJ and he explained his incomprehensible thought process earlier and I've had previous experience with his type of obliviousness. He really didnt mean to hurt me, he doesnt have any social circle to speak of so when planned this whole thing his feedback was a crowd of 1.

But I saved the best for last. He appears to genuinely like me and really doesnt want to lose me. He wants to be friends...and my dumb ass said yes. With a caveat that the second he starts dating I'm out. I dont do lover to friends. I'm possessive and wont share. So as long as he stays single I'll be his friend. I know I'm dumb. I know I'm just going to be hurt by another display of thoughtlessness from him. But except for the week of hell I've been truly happy with him until I got sick. He's a jerk. I deserve better. But did you know, that INFP can be shallow too. I didnt until i met him. He is so pretty (in my eyes, he is definitely not to everyone's taste) and 7 years younger and he picked me 2.5 years ago. I am not pretty. Hard marriage, lifetime of depression, rather read another chapter than apply a layer of makeup, etc. but he eavesdrop me talking to my work friend and liked what he heard and asked me out.

God I'm dumb. Wow. I'm so sorry. It just happened today and I needed to let it out and when it started I tried another forum to get perspective from similar wired people as my boyfriend so I could do whatever was best for him and some responses were productive and informative if a tad blunt. One or two tried with all their might to be kind and I love them for that. The rest can burn in hell. I know I'm what people consider an "unhealthy" version of my type but I've just been considering myself a survival INFP. I think we all get broken a lot thanks to our inner compass. And when we build ourselves back up again our structure gains or loses new aspects. My corners are sharper, and someone broke my glasses so things arent clear all the time and when my belief in human goodness broke off I wasnt able to find all the pieces but it's still there. I'm still here. And now I will shut up. Sorry again. Still gonna post it though! :p

[words-for-holland]

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

[pinkmirth]

-𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧𝐬 𝗼𝐟 𝐥𝗼𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧 🍨🧃🍄

𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝗼𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝗼 𝐬𝐩𝗼𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬!!

《𝐠/𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝗼𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐀𝐔 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝗼𝐮𝐭𝐬, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫》

☆

"See, I told you, Rei!" You can't help but let a giggle ripple throughout your speech while you fawned towards Reiner, his large hands unmoving upon your waist as you rested on his broad chest, bodies splayed across your bed.

"Whenever I do this—" you uttered with a smile, proceeding to emphasize your point with a soft, but lengthy kiss, "You get red in the face..!"

"Y-yeah, we get it, you've tested your theory," stammered Reiner, attempting to deny his own tranquil grin and rosy hued cheeks. The blonde attempted to busy himself by rubbing restless palms along the curve of your hips on either side, his heartbeat quickening over your subtle affection.

"..It's nice to see you smile, Reiner." Your genuine words barely came above a whisper, "Not like there's usually anything to smile about anyway, with the way life is inside these walls.." was your murmured claim, recalling the everlasting linger of despair that you always failed to shake off.

Not a soul could blame you, or anybody else for feeling such a way. Afterall, merely living to see the next day was a luxury, considering the taxing situations you and so many others had to face with a dedicated heart.

"I'll always be here to keep you safe, you know that?" Reiner's booming voice came out stern and prompting, his neat brows knit as a way to show his earnestness. Your eyes were now relaxed, gazing at him admirably, cheeks growing hot over his determined statement. It sounded as though he was ever so sure that he could preserve your life. Only in your wildest dreams, though the thought was appreciated.

Your light chuckles only goaded him to believe that you were taking his claim lightly. "I'm serious. I'll always protect you. No matter what, alright?" His hands held a grip firmer than before, radiating consolation and warmth with every passing second of his rough fingers being pressed along your skin.

"...I love you, Reiner."

Maybe it was because your chest was pressed right against his own, but you could've sworn that both yours and his heart skipped a beat collectively, practically in unison.

Reiner's response was wordless and chaste, but sweet and heartfelt, lips merging with yours passionately. "—I love you more," the blonde huffed aloud,"More than you know, dove." He'd decided to punctuate his words with yet another act of endearment, his light pecks leading to yet another round of kisses.

Though, rather than any suggestive circumstances, it ended with breathy chuckles and direly needed puffs of air.

"We've never said that before," you decided to remark over the three words that every new relationship practically feared, which you and Reiner could now call a milestone with pride. "..I wanna say it again." The blonde cheesed, lips curved into a grin.

"I love you. But I don't love the fact that it's probably past twelve and you still aren't sleeping," once again, your boyfriend chose to scold you, ever so subtly.

"No, no whining, dove." said Reiner, "You have a long day ahead of you, and so do I." You couldn't help but nod your head to his rationality. "Besides, Instructor Sadies would have me dead by morning if he figured out I was in your bunker at this hour.."

You crawled off of his broad frame, allowing Reiner to stand and gain his footing after cuddling with you for a good hour, maybe two. He began to realign the neckline of his olive green top, shooting you a brief grin, just because.

He lowered himself down to the bed, pressing his lips against your forehead. "G'night, dear," he murmured upon your head, hands interlacing with yours momentarily, his touch lingering even after he'd let go.

"Night, Rei.." the brawny male eventually took his leave, resulting in you grinning 'love-struckedly' by your lonesome, hugging a pillow against your chest as loose giggles emitted past your lips, falling drowsy over the content memories you held of Reiner Braun.

☆

The blonde shut your door with a serene sigh, only to have his peace disturbed by a distraught Bertholt, brows furrowed as he loomed beside your door, as though he'd been waiting for his Titan-shifter counterpart to emerge from the room.

"Eren and Armin. They're in the bunks, asking where you are," the dark haired male spoke, "Just for me to find out you're staying in [Y/N]'s room..?"

Reiner's breath hitched, his momentary happiness coming to a dreadful halt.

"What the hell are you doing..?" Wailed Bertholt. He reeked of sorrow, concern.

"We don't need to speak of them, or any of my personal affairs. It's just for me to seem more convincing—"

"No, it isn't. You've never been this happy, never." That was the one thing Reiner couldn't deny. His life had always been all but miserable, until you'd crossed his path as cadets. He always felt like he was on cloud nine when with you, but Bertholt always had to rationalize, remind him of the bitter truth, and send Reiner plummeting back down to reality.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? To them?" The blonde had only stayed tight lipped, throat running dry. "Are you even listening? Reiner..?" It wasn't as though the tall male was nagging, it was just that the entire ordeal was simply too painful to watch from his point of view. It was his and Reiner's job to eliminate the people of these walls, you included.

So why, why did Reiner have to go on ahead and fall in love with a person such as yourself ?

"..I d-dont know.." he'd managed to stammer aloud, voice cracking with melancholy, "I don't know." repeated Reiner, for the sake of emphasis.

"I'm sorry. But what we both know is that you just can't be with the likes of them," Bertholt spoke with a strained tone, the lean male's brows knit with distaste. "..Just come back to the bunks, alright..?" The blonde had replied to his dark haired counterpart with a taut, understanding nod, refusing to verbally respond, fearing that a choked sob could attempt to find a way to slip through.

Just as Bertholt turned the corner, Reiner grew vulnerable, his broadened back slumping against your door with a slight thud.

Hot tears pooled at his honey brown eyes, running past his defined cheek until he rubbed it away with the swipe of his forearm.

"What a shame I am," his words fell past his lips shakily, as though the claim itself was of forbidden speech, "I love them."

╭━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✰━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━╮

[classpectpokerap]

yo fyi the tumblr overlay stuff is overwriting the search box and search button. Anyway today's dual is Dragon of Storm (BardThief of BreathHope) and I'd love to hear any examples you can think of that specific classpect in media

on point 1: so i fixed that, and then out of curiosity i went and checked my feedback form - turns out there were eight unread responses, ope. and turns out there was a massive bug and subtraction just. didnt work right.

so i fixed those, and then i added a fixed navbar, and that caused all SORTS of issues but it looked better so blargh but anyway. The Website Has Been Updated (which is also, the tumblr! i dont know how tumblr works but if you go to the full page the changes are there too). Now the site has like, a better navbar??? this took way too long to be worth it lmfao

Also most of the replies to the form was about Homesturdle. One day I will get back to the Homesturdle^2 update that I had planned, but that day is, "i don't want to learn typescript" days away lol

anyway

ON DUALS (alicorn theory primer)

Dual Classpects are a couple of things. They're a system to give funky names to sprite-fused Homestuck characters, they're a way to make cool sounding titles, but it's also mostly today's XKCD.

In the case of today (April 23, 2022), we're gonna be playing around with Dragon of Storm.

DRAGON OF STORM

(yeah i know the website is a lil janky rn. if anyone has suggestions for a logo n stuff hmu)

Anyway. Dragon of Storm. The search page says that a Dragon of Storm is made out of ThiefBard of BreathHope, so to get a Dragon of Storm you could do a few things.

Number one is that you grab a Bard of Breath and a Thief of Hope, and sprite-fuse them together. This is the original way Dual Classpecting worked, and I think it's fairly understandable. Bam, two people, now one person. New classpect.

The other way to do it is through Alicorn Theory, which is not for this post in terms of an in-depth explanation, but I'll do a brief rundown here. Basically, what if alicornhood is achieved through doing character growth Really Really Good, like, triumphing over your classpect + a bonus one.

For the purpose of this post, we'll be looking at making an alicorn out of a Thief of Hope -- Peter Quill, from GOTG2.

Peter's whole thing is that he's been actively taken from places, but that gives him new opportunities, new hopes. There's more to this classpecting, but I'll save it for a larger post on the Hope aspect (most of what I'd say in it can be viewed here). For now, let's take it as granted and move on.

(Special thanks to @nihilistic-janitor for being the driver of like 70% of this blog's meta and for being just generally fucking awesome. This would not exist without them.)

To become fully realized as a Dragon of Storm, he needs to overcome the challenges of both his inverse classpect (Page of Rage) AND the bonus secondary one (the inverse of Bard of Breath, Maid of Blood). This actually fits GOTG vol2 kinda perfectly.

Peter's big new struggle in this film kinda IS that of a Maid of Blood. He just found out about a new, like, literal biological part of him, but it's also a new familial relationship that drives the film's conflict. He has to overcome this, become a Bard of Breath (one who passively destroys thru and is passively destroyed by freedom/youth/innocence/travel), leave Ego behind, and be with his team.

He also achieves Page of Rage in this film - like, the giant pacman is. i mean. like. come on.

right???? gamers????????

anyway

By the end of the film, once he's finally at his like, Character Growth Achieved moment, that's a Dragon of Storm, I tell ye. I declare it.

but, yeah! that's basically it for that ask. this post deleted itself halfway thru typing it and i had to redo it, so, like, lol

if anyone else has asks they wanna submit, always feel free! and thank you to all the new followers :D im pleased as hell to see people like the work i put in, and i wanna make it better!

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.04.16

Time to answer some more of your questions. I have a lot this time, and still a lot left I’ll have to save to another post. You are all very good at being curious and asking interesting questions. There are also some asks that are replies to old asks, and then I’ll include the link to the referenced post.

This time the topics will be:

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady” Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content? Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview Ask 9 - The garnet necklace Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook? Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53? Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Today’s post is a long one... Enjoy!

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations

Ok, so I did write a shit post about this... (I mean… This is literally all Vmin’s songs so far ), but I still think your questions are worth a proper answer.

Honestly I think speculating about KTH1 is kind of hard, and as seen in the shit post I am quite torn with my expectations... In general I am the type who doesn’t like to expect too much in fear of being disappointed. I rather be pleasantly surprised. That being said Vmin does have a track record of getting involved in each other’s songs. I mean a lot is just speculation of course, but we do have confirmed cases as well, enough to not be too surprised if they would keep it up and do something for Tae’s solo album as well. (Tae saying his mixtape would be named Jimin back in 2016 still haunts me.)

On the other hand, they have already given us a lot of collabs. Adding more would feel more like a statement, at least if it would be only Jimin out of the members on that album. The thing is that if Vmin would have something “real” or at least if they are a bit careful with how they come across... I am not sure they would do something too “obvious”. But where such a line would be drawn is impossible to know. I mean clearly they managed to write and sing Friends and it worked fine, even if they did get more attention as a ship.

We also know Tae has been quite loud about Jimin in ways that single him out, so maybe they would really dare push the boundaries as far as actually including Jimin in the album somehow. It’s also very possible there could be other members, and honestly we probably shouldn’t hyper focus too much on it and that it has to mean something no matter if anyone is on it or not.

I think one of the rappers being on it is probably more likely out of the members, but it seems Tae has shown an interest in collabs with people outside of BTS, so that’s kind of what I am expecting the most. No matter who in the group is on it I am sure fans will make a big deal out of it, and maybe Tae would rather have his own thing for his first album. I really don’t know how his thoughts would go.

But again, looking at how Tae and Jimin has talked about working together, and have had moments like Tae promising Jimin a song or Tae saying they will work together again... It’s definitely not impossible to get another Vmin song. I do feel it’s more likely for any connections to be vague and not instantly noticeable though (at least not anything romantic looking because we know what happened to the Christmas song). Especially considering how they have only recently revealed things like 4 clock’s inspiration more openly and had Friends followed by Sweet Night. My main stance for any possible real ship is still that they have reason to be careful, and yet another Vmin collab, on Taehyung’s first personal album would probably raise some eyebrows considering everything else we already have. But it could also be me over analyzing them, and maybe they just really like and want to work together. Tae for sure has after all been vocal about this preference and want to work with Jimin.

So yeah, on one hand they have a track record that is hard to ignore... But on the other I wonder if they might want to add another “point” for ARMY to look at them and their songs. I also don’t want to assume that if there are songs on there that sound romantic that they automatically will be about Jimin. There will have to be legit possible connections for me to acknowledge them.

It’s tricky. I guess we will have to wait and see. I am kind of scared both that there won’t be anything or that there will be SOMETHING. Thank you for the ask, and I hope I shed some light on my thoughts on this subject. Either way I am very excited and looking forward to an album full of Taehyung’s own songs and the stories he wants to tell.

Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady”

I am not sure it is “lady”, since it’s a bit unclear in general. He also has a part that just seems to go “do be do” and I don’t know if the lyrics are even finished or if he worked with someone else etc. We basically lack a lot of information. But even so using lady/her/she etc. in a song doesn’t have to mean it is about a specific person or that the person is a she or that it is Taehyung’s own feelings (I know he said he usually sings about things he have felt, but just saying it doesn’t always have to be). 

Of course I don’t want to downplay it and say it doesn’t mean anything, but considering their fanbase is majority women, they live in a homophobic country and he has even been denied to sing a romantic song with a man before, it’s not impossible to add that to make it more “relatable” or less “gay”. God, that sounds terrible. I don’t want to start discussions where we don’t take their words for what they are, so I hope you might understand my point of view. That being said of course it could just as easily be to or about a specific woman in his life that we don’t know about. Or as you say, he isn’t actually in love but is simply writing love songs that could be inspired by non-romantic relationships or movies etc. as was the case for his inspiration for Winter Bear.

Tae also used “she” in Winter Bear, and that seems a bit forgotten. Or people try to say it has to be about his grandmother... Which we obviously don’t know, it’s just the woman people jump to since he used “she” and many people don’t like the idea of him dating a woman or writing about a woman we don’t know. Either way I think we need to remember that anything is possible and we don’t know them personally and how they think or why they choose to do what they do.

I think we need to remember that there is always going to be the possibility that ships aren’t real, that the romantic songs aren’t about Jimin and that either one of them could be in a relationship with someone else (all genders included).

Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex

Hello! I want to address something that has been bothering me for a while now. I have been seeing some vminnies have a superiority complex just bcoz they ship vmin. Its very rampant among new vminnies and twt vminnies. I get that we all feel validated and happy when out OTP claim to be soulmates and bff. I feel that way too. But people have to remember that vmin are real people and their relationship is dynamic. Like they did grow from bff who used to tease e/o and fight alot to soulmates who are gentle and caring. Who is to say that one day they wont drift apart (i hope not and dont think thats gonna happen but for argument sake) so there is no reason to feel superior or look down on other shippers. 

If people think vminnies are superior bcoz they are not toxic they probably know they are lying. Lbr i have seen my share of toxic vminnies though may be a lesser number but they are there and its not the ship but its that particular person who is at fault. While i agree that some ship theories cultivate hate and toxicity there may be people among those ships who are just as sane and good as we claim to be. I just wanted to address this bcoz seeing some vminnies on twt saying locals thinking vmin were tgt after coway add is a validation kind of triggered me. I m sure there would have been similar responses to any other ship bcoz they all have been tgt for a decade and are very comfortable with e/o. I just wanted to talk to someone about this and i know you have discussed similar topics in the past. So yeah this was very long.

First of all, on request I won’t show your name, but thank you for sending me this and letting me know who you are. It’s always nice to know who is behind the question. But that being said I don’t mind people asking on anon, I totally get it being a lot easier to ask or question things when you don’t have to reveal yourself. Either way I am just glad to get interesting and important topics and I do think the things you bring up are worth talking about.

As you say, there is this thing when people start to feel and act superior for various reasons, and I too have seen some Vminies do this. Getting a lot of moments is sure nice. But honestly, just imagine if another ship came and mocked Vmin or gloated every time they got more moments. It has surely happened too, and I am sure it doesn’t feel very nice when on the negative end. Just be a decent human, ship moments will always vary and it’s great to be happy about getting moments, but there is no need to compare or look down on other ships. I say it again, shipping is not a competition, just enjoy your own ship and let others enjoy theirs.

As for feelings superior based on group behavior I think we really need to stop looking at groups and start looking at individuals, both when it comes to groups we are part of and groups we consider “bad”. I have said it many times, but individuals of other groups we don’t agree with won’t all be bad, or all stupid or young etc. We might want to tell ourselves they are worse, but it really doesn’t change much. 

Being “less bad” it not a merit and it shouldn’t be a competition. We all have our own selves to answer to and we should judge other people based on their actions and not based on what group they might belong to.

I think size and the toxicity of a narrative can lead to more people in certain groups behaving in toxic ways... But I think any person could happen to fall into these behaviors if not careful and aware. Often the change is gradual too, or you feel attacked by the other “rival group” and thus feel it’s justified to attack back, and so it escalates.

Vminies are at the moment as a group smaller, and thus have less “bad apples”. We likely also have a narrative for Vmin that doesn’t require as toxic mindsets, for example extreme jealousy or Vmin being forced to hide. But there for sure are still toxic Vminies, and there are also a lot of non-toxic shippers in all groups. Usually the louder ones are also the worst ones while the chill and nice will remain in their own lane and ship more peacefully. But being part of a smaller group doesn’t make you superior, your actions is what is important.

As for small moments getting noticed or other types of “validation” for your ship, of course it’s going to feel nice. However, what people see and think of any relationship in BTS is still just an outsider view and literally has no meaning for their actual relationship beyond it being a cute moment. That’s why size and popularity also doesn’t matter as any kind of “proof”. Interpretation will always just be interpretation, good or bad, if you like it or not.

Sadly I think we will get more and more toxic behavior from more ships as the fandom grows and as some things get more normalized within those ships’ communities. It’s about certain behaviors growing into a community culture... The more toxicity that is allowed the more others will follow. That’s why bringing up the problems is important, but trying to do so without shunning people so that they don’t go and create their own space where everyone else is the enemy. After all, being open and welcoming and understanding is much more likely to make someone listen and even change their mind than by attacking them.

I answer for my own actions. So does every person. I don’t want to be judged for everything every Vminie or ARMY or Multi K-pop fan etc. has done. Generalization is a huge problem in general, not just in fandoms or ship wars. I do try to be a positive influence, to not judge too harshly and to remember that being hostile won’t help any situation. But that’s about it. I am glad you brought up this topic, because talking about it is important, but sadly I don’t think there is a lot that can be done about it. Just try to be nice and open minded.

Thank you for the ask, I hope you all understood what I wanted to say.

Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys

Thank you. I really see no need for it. It’s clear as day that they all love each other, and even if one pair would happen to be romantic instead of platonic that won’t change. We don’t have to compare and we definitely don’t have to downplay the moments they share with each other. All shippers should at the very least accept the the things they do and say as mostly genuine. I trust BTS and what they show us, it’s that easy.

I know some also get influenced by toxic fans, but we really need to remember that no narratives by fans matter when it comes to reality and what bonds BTS share with each other. They are all great people and seem to have such love and respect for each other I frankly don’t understand how you can be a fan if you think any of it is played up to the point some claim.

Likely no ship in BTS is real, but if any is, to me I am sure the ones involved would be happy and supported by the rest of the members. That’s why it doesn’t really matter what ship would be real or not real as long as they are happy. We shouldn’t let our own views and sometimes want or hopes affect the way be judge their reality. This applies for things outside shipping as well.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts

Indeed. The brain is a powerful thing. This is very obvious if you are a multi-shipper or a general fan, but BTS truly has a lot of questionable moments between all kinds of pairs. Focus is a interesting thing. If you like something you will notice it more, and you will also remember it more while you forget other moments. Likewise if something is “negative” like a rival ship you are likely to notice them more as well. This happens even if you just watch the general content and get your own bias. Imagine then how it might influence you when others keep repeating either your happy interpretations or things you worry about? You’ll get it stuck in your head and remember it more than other things.

Like isn’t it funny how we might gush about Vmin sharing beds, or worry about ji/kook or tae/kook cuddling while hope/kook literally sleep wrapped around each other in both Bon Voyage 3 and 4? Sometimes it’s all about perspective.

By now we need to realize that fan perspective will influence us a lot. And in particular if a lot of people say it or if it is presented in a way that makes it sound logical and intelligent. Words have power. 

I still think using “Vmin is dead” or spreading worry often in itself leads to people thinking it and it being somehow accepted as fact. In similar fashion getting to hear about certain ships or certain narratives will make us notice things in relation to that. My own words and posts too will have influence on some people that read them. That’s why I try to be so careful, and why I try to avoid using strong words or claims that might cement themselves in someone’s mind. (I’ll actually talk more about the power of language in my big analysis as well)

Thank you for your input, it’s definitely an interesting thing to consider and another aspect of why shipping mentality is so complicated. 

Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta

Hi and yes, I have answered this before HERE, but it’s ok. I know it’s not easy finding old topics amongst my collection posts.

Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 3 - BTSandVMIN

In short I think Vmin wanted to share rooms but that Taehyung got fooled when Jimin stopped him from checking the upper room. Because it seemed like Jimin stopped him from walking into that room by saying he couldn’t peak Tae probably assumed it wasn’t Jimin’s room and that when Jimin said it was his room he was joking (his face was definitely something). So yeah, I think he just got fooled by Jimin’s statement about not being allowed to look inside the room before picking. There are other interesting things about this whole moment, but the one thing we should take away from it is how it is one out of now many examples that seem to show that Vmin have a preference to share rooms/beds. Thank you for the ask. :)

Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content?

I wouldn’t say it’s something recent. I say it often, but we really do get very intense periods from time to time with many of the ships. For example in February 2017 with ISAC, fan signs and everything else we got a lot of Vmin too. I remember being overwhelmed myself, and that was coming out of BST era Vmin. We got many moments every day and that’s just one specific period I can remember. 

 Over the years sometimes we do get these very intense days or weeks with a lot of moments at once. Usually I get asks like “do you think something is up with Vmin lately” or “wow I can’t believe how much Vmin we have gotten lately” but really, it’s hard to tell, because it really does happen from time to time. I also still say we always get Vmin moments regularly as long as we get BTS content, but sometimes a bit more and sometimes less. I am sure there will be more times when we also get “Vmin is dead“ and worried people because we get less moments than they expect. It just happens, up and down and around it goes.

As for what ships are big I will definitely say Ji/kook and Tae/kook are the biggest, but that all BTS ships are big by now. Meaning as soon as we do get moments it will be seen online. Especially if you follow people who talk about it of course. I also think what platform you are on can result in some ships being seen more than others. For example I know ji/kook is by far the biggest BTS ship here on Tumblr while Youtube seems to have more tae/kookers.

Thank you for the ask. Let’s hope Vmin keeps overwhelming us. (But let’s not start to worry if they don’t) ;)

Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview

Ah yes, I have a bit of a soft spot for this interview myself. I am not sure, but I think it might be from 2017 (since Tae wrote a birthday letter to Jimin in 2016), or at least that’s when I found it and saved it down. I haven’t actually tracked the original source. You can find the translation in the link shared HERE, credits to @95z​.

Seeing this close after the chaos of Let’s BTS and other letter confessions it really does seem very cringe for them to express sincere thoughts in these more formal ways. I can’t blame them. 

I do think this interview is yet another example of how much Vmin has tried to adapt to each other, learn and be more open with expressing how they feel. They literally inspire and learn from each other in how to express themselves. Isn’t it completely endearing? 

I also love how they get each other to feel strong emotions and how they are there for each other when in need. On a slightly more analytical note I also can’t help but note the “just a friend” vs “soulmate” descriptions and how they seem to have a hard time putting it into proper words. We already know this of course, but yeah... They really don’t have an easy time describing their relationship.

Thank you so much for sharing this moment. I was going to talk about it in my big analysis anyways, but honestly I can’t save everything for it, and you mentioned it so who am I to keep it to myself.

Ask 9 - The garnet necklace

Oh yeah, I know that JK wore it once and that the talk was that a fan gave it to all of maknae line. Not much was ever confirmed from what I know, but regardless it doesn’t change why I think it’s a Vmin/soulmate necklace and why I see it as special.

Here is the thing, when I use “Vmin thing” it really doesn’t have to be exclusive. To me it’s the context around it and how they have used it and even reacted to it that makes the garnet necklace something special for Vmin. In the case of the soulmate necklace Vmin wore it a lot. Almost constantly during a big part of 2017 and even a bit into 2018. They also wore it at the same time a lot. I find this very cute, and we all know “couple items” is something all fans enjoy even if it would just be a platonic relationship behind it. But if both of them wearing it was all there was, as a lot of Vmin sharing clothes (or BTS in general sharing clothes) I wouldn’t really think too much about it beyond it being cute. It could still be just a cute thing that Vmin did, but I personally see it as something beyond the normal clothes/jewelry sharing.

(At the very least you can remember Vmin did this while people thought their relationship was dead, which doesn’t make much sense to do if you hate or dislike someone.)

The things I find more noteworthy about this necklace is the fact that the fandom picked up on it and because they wore it so much and so often at the same time it was dubbed the “soulmate necklace”. Possibly knowing this Tae also brought specific attention to the necklace at two times, as if wanting to show it off. Interestingly enough, in one of these times Jimin seemed to ignore Taehyung who was bringing attention to it on purpose. For me it came across as another thing Taehyung wanted to show off and that Jimin was a bit more careful about. 

Of course I could have read it wrong, maybe Jimin just misunderstood. But even so, Tae did bring attention to it in specific relation to Jimin. You can watch the clip HERE. (BTS Tell Us What They Love About Each Other & An Update On Tony & Nate From America Hustle Life) 

The other time was in Run ep. 39, right after Vmin talked about being in school together and showing off their school uniforms. If Tae is the one to try and highlight something, I feel it likely has some meaning to him at least.

Either way the necklace is basically a symbol of Vmin’s relationship and the fact that they liked it so much and wore it together during a long period I think they liked wearing it not only because they both happened to like the design but because they both had it. If JK also had one and didn’t use it of course it could include him, but I will still say it remains significant for Vmin’s bond with each other.

As for buying a necklace together they haven’t talked about this one in particular, but Tae did mention he bought his tiger necklace with Jimin in NY, so maybe you are mixing the two things up?

Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs

Thank you for loving my blog and for the ask! :) I am not sure if you perhaps meant in a lot of BTS own photoshoots/units as well, but I’ll focus on CMs in this post since that was your direct example. I might go a bit beyond here, but I saw it as a good chance to revisit some Vmin ad moments.

I wouldn’t personally say we have gotten “way more” but I do think because of their Friends unit they got to do some more interviews together and some CM stuff too. I also think we have gotten more BTS commercials in general now, likely because it’s an income alternative to touring during the pandemic. So that obviously means more CMs, and more chances for them to be paired up. They also have gotten paired with others of course (like in the Bodyfriend CM or Baskin Robbins), but most commonly they aren’t divided in smaller groups at all.

We also have gotten Vmin paired up before, both in photoshoots and in CMs. Of course we saw some great ones in 2016 with Puma and NUGU, but I don’t think we got that much more in 2016 and before than in 2017-2019. I think what we can see is BTS having more endorsements after Covid.

Like honestly, the Puma adds are iconic. Of course the original one, but also the revisits from 2018. Puma definitely seemed to like to pair Vmin in particular. (There are so many good examples from Puma that I’m not including)

We also got a snippet in the Hyundai one, also from 2018.

Another snippet from the Coconut Chicken ad from 2017.

I mean, I don’t know if I should count the snippets at all, like from BTS x VT cosmetics in 2019, but I feel sometimes just being seen in the same frame seems to get attention as being paired up so. (I decided to not include being together when it’s at least a third member in the frame)

And guys... Have you ever watched BTS and the milk song?

What did we get so far more recently? In 2020 we had the Hyundai interview.

And the hyundai #PositiveEnergyChallenge

Fila provided a nice one, also from 2020.

Samsung gave us a snippet recently.

Coway was basically couple goals and like the best one in my own opinion (besides Puma because it is going to take a lot to beat Puma).

But other than that? I don’t think we have seen it that much, have we? I am not complaining or anything, like I am happy with what we got, but I don’t know if it’s that much. I might forget some obvious ones, but these were the ones I had top of mind. Feel free to add ads if you can think of more recent ones that I left out.

So I think we have gotten more BTS ads in general, also more where they are not all of them or single focus, and that we have seen maybe Vmin getting paired a little more after Friends. But to me there is such a small difference I can’t really say if it is anything particular to Vmin or just BTS doing more CMs.

I mean, I don’t have a sheet of who has been paired with who and how many times over the years. But either way I don’t think we should look too deeply into things like CMs or even photoshoots units. Thanks for the ask though, I hope you enjoyed this mini collection. :)

Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook?

So this is a thought sent in after THIS ASK though it really brings up a new subject, which is that of Tae possibly being uncomfortable with shipping. As for Tae saying that to a tae/kooker in particular I think we have to remember it could very easily just have been in the moment and we can’t know why he decided to reply to that person in particular.

The Vmin post was not invasive and it wasn’t romantic. I mean, I do think Tae keeps showing again and again that if there is any person in BTS that is special to him it’s Jimin. But the difference in the posts also likely matters, but we can’t know how much. We don’t know if Tae would feel annoyed if a Vminie wrote the same thing as the tae/kooker did, and we don’t know if it was just in that moment that he got fed up with the shipping discourse in general, or if it was because it was tae/kook.

Honestly any shipper, regardless if a ship would eventually prove to be real or not, should not go and invade spaces where the boys get exposed to it. We don’t know if Taehyung would have reacted in a similar way if it happened to be another ship.

Personally I don’t think tae/kook drifted apart as a result of shipping, because honestly they still kept being pretty intimate physically and engaged in fanservice on stage etc. If they truly were uncomfortable with the idea I just don’t think they would “feed it” much at all. I think as they said in ITS they just, kind of changed and it became harder to talk. I’ve talked more about tae/kook and my views on their bond in THIS POST and a little in THIS POST as well as about BTS possible stance on shipping HERE.

I also think all of BTS has a pretty good distance from hate and fandom speculations in general. I think that because they know about shipping and partly also feed into it they probably expect crazy people to some degree as well, even if they probably don’t like it. Hetero shippers as well, or solo stans etc. have very toxic behaviors at times, but I think BTS can recognize that it is kind of “bound to happen” with their popularity, no matter what they do about it. Not saying they would like it, and they could definitely feel awkward or annoyed because of it, but it doesn’t seem to bother them too much as I think they can detach themselves from it pretty well.

I also think “fan opinions” in form of rival shipping wouldn’t really harm a hidden couple as it first would likely be a sort of “shield” and second because they have their relationships and are likely comfortable with them on their own terms. What fans think is probably secondary.

It is possible that they could get annoyed or frustrated at times, but again, if they truly felt bothered by it they probably wouldn’t do a lot of the things they do. Because I am sure they are aware to some degree that fans scrutinize their every move and ship moments. Both Tae and Jimin are some of the most physical out of the members, and also some of the members that seem to like to initiate fanservice moments... So I doubt they would have much problem and can feel secure enough in their relationship no matter what fans think.

Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53?

Hi, I guess you got curious after I talked about this episode recently in my post Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30 (Ask 8 - Going down the rabbit hole, micromoments and shipping vs believing).

I don’t know hangul, but I do know what “Jimin” looks like. On Jimin’s shirt from behind the scenes of Run ep. 53 you can see he’s written his own name “지민” Jimin followed by what looks to be “ 님 “ which is nim. So basically the text on the container in the picture says Sir Jimin.

Jimin seemed very keen on writing his name on both his own shirt and on Tae’s and even tried on JK’s. He failed of course, but he sure did try. 

Thank you for the ask, and isn’t Tae cute?

Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up

Glad you liked my reply. :) (From Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30  Ask 4 - Idols dating members of the same group). Yeah I get what you mean, talking about it openly I suppose isn’t so normal. But since it seems to be more and more fans who assume it happens to some degree maybe it’s not so strange if it starts getting more talked about as well. I’ll take it as a good sign, even if the information is nothing new in itself, being more open is going to make it easier for fans to realize it’s possible for their idols to be LGBT+ or have hidden relationships.

As for K-Population it doesn’t seem to be too well known, but it’s one of few actual examples to be found. So yeah, interesting that we know it has happened, and also that it shows what risks it could mean to get involved with a group member. I think the risk of a falling out is something a lot of shippers tend to forget. Anyways, thank you for your reply. ^_^

Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Oh my... I am not sure I have ever been called sweetheart by anyone ever before. Thank you! You are making me blush with all the praise.  💜💜💜

But really, we can all just watch Vmin in awe and be happy they have each other and feel such immense love for each other, no matter what that love is. It’s kind of amazing. Like even if they are platonic their relationship is so wholesome and they put so much love and effort into it that it’s truly inspirational. I love when we get bombed with moments like this with a very intense period of great Vmin interactions. As you, me too never fail to feel all soft watching them together.

95z is love and what a love they share. Truly wonderful. 💜

You take care too, and really, thank you so much for this lovely message. it means a lot and is very heartwarming.

And with that sweet ask I’ll end the post. There was a lot of very different questions and I feel I could have written more about many of them, but alas I need to remember I can’t write full essays on everything or I would never get anything posted. Thank you all for reading and I hope you found my thoughts and speculations interesting. ^-^

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 8 (Peter Parker x F!Oc)

A/N: I don't know if anyone got confused, I noticed it late, lol, but the actress that I take as Lily's reference will always be Mackenzie foy, Lily Collins is Jessica. Ok enjoy -Val

Warnings: panic attack, child abuse.

Words: 2, 944

Masterlist:

Chapter 7 / Chapter 9

"Please, answer,” Jess groans, her phone against her ear and with the emergency number sheet in her other hand.

"Who is it and why do you have my number?" Tony answers.

“Mr. Stark,” She sighs. “Thank God! I'm Jessica, Lily's babysitter,” Tony frowns when he hears the girl.

"What's going on?" He checks the clock in his room, calculating the time difference. It should be one in the morning there.

“I'm not sure, sir— We were sleeping and I heard her screaming. I-I thought she was having a nightmare,” She stops, controlling her breathing. “She was sweating and screaming. I tried to help her, but she ran away and—”

"Okay, you have to breathe. Where’s Lily?"

"She went down to the workshop, J.A.R.V.I.S won't let me in and says that her temperature is very high.”

Tony sighs, since Lily told him about the nightmares, he’d never been around and now he thinks that maybe their argument has something to do with it.

"Okay. Go to the workshop and put me on speaker.”

Jess takes the phone and obeys.

“Done."

"J.A.R.V.I.S, grant access to..."

“Jessica,” She adds.

"Access conceived,” answers the AI.

Jessica opens the door and is about to look for Lily, but Tony's voice stops her.

"Find her, leave the phone near her and get out of there.”

"What? What if she needs medical help?" She says deactivating the speaker. "Sir, something else happened when I tried to touch her, I’m afraid she’s hurt…”

"Trust me, she's not," He answers, seeing another small screen that is holding in his hand, projecting the girl's vital signs. "Do it.”

Tony hears movement. Jess sees the bulge under one of the cars and puts the phone on the ground, activates the speaker, and walks away from her.

"Kid?"

Lily knew Jess had found her, but hearing her father's voice makes her jump. She slowly turns around looking at the phone on the floor.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend you're listening to me,” He sits on the bed. "A nightmare, huh? I thought you hadn't had one for a long time,” He waits a few seconds, but gets no response.

Lily hugs her legs tighter. Tony sighs.

"Kid, come on, tell me something. Shows signs of life. I just want to help you…”

"I hurt her,” She says in a small voice.

"What?"

"I hurt Jess,” She says louder.

"It was not your intention, kid,” Tony answers.

“But I still did. I didn't want to, I'm sorry,” She says between sobs. Tony closes his eyes not knowing what to do. He’s about to call Pepper, but he remembers how stressed she has been since they arrived.

“It wasn't my intention. I didn't want to hurt anyone. It was the same with my mother and she left me. I don't want Jess to leave me,” She continues. She feels a strong pain in her chest.

"She won't go away—”

“You don't know that. She was scared. She has blisters and her hand was all red,” She cries. “I’m a monster!”

“Okay, this is what we’ll do, Lily. Where are you?”

"What?"

"Tell me where you are.”

"Under the blue car,” She frowns.

Tony ignores the fear that runs through his body with the possibility that the car might react badly to the high temperature.

"Get out of there. I need to hear you better.”

"I dont want to go outside…”

“Do what I tell you, please. I know what’s happening to you and it’s better if you get out of there.”

She obeys, grabs the phone with her shaking hands as she leans on one of the car's tires.

"And now?"

“I want you to do exactly what I tell you. Can do it?"

"I don’t know.”

“Yes you can, come on. You’ll breathe with me, it's simple. When I tell you one, inhale, and two, exhale slowly. We’ll do it together.”

"I don’t think that-"

“One," Tony interrupts and inhales making an exaggerated noise so that Lily knows what he's doing. There's no other option but to imitate it. “Two…”

They did so five more times. The pain in the girl's chest subsides and her shoulders relax.

“You're better?"

"Yes," She answers hoarsely.

"Okay. The nightmare. Do you wanna tell me?"

She bites the inside of her cheek and hugs her legs again.

“You'll feel better if you tell me.”

"How do you know?" She frowns.

"It has happened to me.”

"When?"

"When my parents— that's not important,” He checks his watch. He knows that Pepper is about to come in to urge him about dinner, lunch, or whatever they have planned.

Lily sighs.

“I was in a white room,” She says slowly. “I had a straitjacket, like the one they put on crazy people in the movies. No one was coming for me and I tried to scream, but I-I wanted to use my hands, nothing worked… You weren't there to help, or Happy, or Pepper, or Rhodey. I was alone…”

‘Why can’t she have nightmares about normal monsters in her closet…’ Tony thinks.

“Why aren’t you here?" Lily sobs. Tony feels an emptiness in his chest, he’d never felt that way before.

“Maybe you can't see me, Flower. But I’m there. I’m listening to you.”

"But I want to see you. I… I miss you, daddy."

"I miss you too, Flower,” He sighs. “I'm sorry for what I told you before I left. I wish you were here. At least it’d be more fun. I'm sick of hearing people ask me about the suit. One of them asked me why I’d chosen those colors as if they were the worst choice!”

"I chose them!” She answers offended. Tony smiles.

"I know. I like it like that.”

“Well, you could make another one blue. I also like blue,” She comments, looking at the other armor prototypes that are in the back of the workshop.

Tony can't help laughing.

"I'll think about it," He clears his throat. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes, but,” She wipes her nose. "What will happen to Jess? I don't want another babysitter.”

“I'll talk to her, but I can assure you that she’s more concerned about you than she is about herself.”

"Really?"

"She called me.”

Tony's bedroom door opens, but before Pepper can say anything to him, Tony points to the phone, gets out of bed, and walks away from the redhead.

“Dad?"

"Yes, Flower?" He says remarking the words for Pepper to understand. The redhead frowns.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you before you left. I just wanted to spend more time with you…”

"I understand, but you know that we can’t risk it.”

“Okay…”

"Hey, I have to go. Pepper's face is redder than my armor.”

For the first time in all that time, Lily laughs.

"It's fine.”

"See ya ', kiddo.”

"Goodbye, Dad.”

Lily hangs up. She hears footsteps approaching.

"Hi," Jess says sitting across from her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you,” whispers the girl.

"Are you okay?" Jess asks.

"I'm better.”

"Do you want to go up?"

"Won't you go? Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Why would I be afraid of my friend?”

"I hurt you.”

"It was not on purpose.”

“B-but it's not normal. You only touched me…”

“Yes, it’s rare, but it’s still an accident. I'm not going anywhere, Lily.”

Lily still doesn't understand why Jess is so calm, but she's too tired to keep asking. She just nods.

"Do you want to go up?" She asks, offering her good hand.

They both go back up to Lily's room.

"Can you sleep with me?" The girl asks.

“Sure."

They prepare the bed, but a call on Jess's cell phone interrupts. Mr. Stark.

"I'll be right back…”

Jess leaves the room and walks as far away as possible.

"Should I ask the same as the girl?”

"How is it possible that such a little girl suffers so much?"

“I'm not sure yet, but it has happened before. Now, do I have to hire another babysitter?"

"Will you tell me what’s wrong with her?"

"What would you do with that information?" Jess rolls her eyes.

"I just want to help her.”

Tony sighs.

"She was born with something strange and bad people wanted to take advantage of it.”

“So what she dreamed… It is a memory?"

"Did you hear it?"

“She screamed before she woke up. She begged not to be hurt.”

"Yes, they’re memories.”

Jess bites her lower lip. She turns over her shoulder to make sure Lily isn't listening.

"I have a theory.”

"I don't have much time, speak up.”

“Miss Potts warned me a bit about the nightmares, but I understand that they hadn't happened for a long time. Did you and Lily argue at other times before?”

"I don’t think so.”

“Don’t you think that the nightmares return when she doesn't feel the security that you give her? By not being home and knowing that you’re upset. They also told me that her mother abandoned her, fear makes her memories return.”

Tony doesn't respond for a few seconds.

"What degree are you studying?"

“Psychology."

Makes sense. I don't know, Miss Adams. But I’ll take it into account.”

“Okay, sir.”

***

After Mr. Stark explained a bit about what really happened, Jess felt scared, but not for her. The brunette had witnessed the very agony in the body of a little girl. She’s never lied by saying that she just wants to help her. She’ll never abandon Lily.

"Do you want to see a movie?" She asks from across the kitchen table.

"I have to do homework,” replies Lily scratching her eye wearily.

"I think you deserve a break.”

“Maybe…”

"Mr. Stark is in the news," reports J.A.R.V.I.S.

They both know what it means. Scandal. They run into the living room and turn on the television.

"Oh no…” says Lily.

She doesn't know what surprises her the most, her father driving a race car or the man with two energy whips trying to hurt him. Although her father got the Iron Man armor in time and was able to contain the villain, Lily knows that something else is going on and the comments from others don’t help. They all allude to Tony's opinión that the new technology that he invented no one else would have for a long time, and now an unknown man has succeeded.

***

Lily turns when someone knocks on her bedroom door. She smiles when she sees the colonel.

"Uncle Rhodey!" She squeals and runs to hug him. The man receives the hug with a smile.

"I hope you always receive me like this, Lily.”

"I can do it,” She replies as they part.

Rhodes sees the room now painted sky blue, some paintings as decoration, with each color and furniture it’s quite obvious that Lily was the one who chose everything, especially noting the vibrant colors that don’t match the rest.

"I like what you did with your room.”

"Thanks. Look!” She takes his hand and leads him to her desk. "I found a video of how to make the Iron Man reactor shape out of cardboard," She explains, pointing to the process.

Rhodes laughs heartily. It’s not the most accurate model in the world, but it is really impressive that Lily is already so detailed in her creations.

"Will you give it to Tony on his birthday?"

She nods. "Do you think he’ll like it?"

"I'm sure. This is pretty good,” He agrees. "How are you doing in school?"

"Good. It's kind of boring, but my teachers seem to have fun when I understand things quickly,” She shrugs.

"You should be happy too.”

"I guess, but… I don't know."

Rhodes frowns.

"I know that face, it's the same as Tony does. What's wrong?"

She turns to face him.

“I want to do more things, but everyone says I can't. Everything is dangerous or someone else can see me. I feel like those dolls trapped in a toy house.”

Rhodes sighs.

"I wish I could have a better answer,” He crouches down to look at her. “But all I can tell you is that it’ll be better once you’re older. I'm sure we'll have better options,” Lily seems disappointed with his words. The man makes a face. Then he comes up with something. “How about I talk to your father to start a little self-defense class? Do you remember the movies we saw?"

"That would be great!" She says smiling.

For James Rhodes, this made sense. He knows that Lily is still very young, but he also knows that Tony's world is very unpredictable, especially with what happened in Monaco. It would be a great opportunity for her to at least know how to defend herself.

"Well, I'll talk to him,” He says getting up.

“Oh, tell him that Natalie can teach me something! She promised!”

He looks at her confused, but doesn't take it too seriously.

“Okay… Do you know where your father is?"

"In the workshop, I'll take you,” She takes Rhodes's hand and they both walk towards the stairs of the workshop, but a corridor before Jarvis interrupts.

"Incoming call for Miss Stark.”

"Kid, I need you to do me a favor,” Tony’s voice says.

"What's going on?" She asks releasing Rhodes's hand.

"Do you remember the little screen I have to play with?" Although the last use of it was to infiltrate Senate screens, she usually uses it to play games.

“Aha..”

“It’s in my room. I want you to bring it.”

"Why don't you go get it?" Rhodes intervenes, annoyed.

"I'm busy— Wait, how long have you been here, Rhodey?"

"We need to talk.”

“I don't like that tone. Kid?"

"I'm coming!”

The girl goes to look for the screen while Rhodey follows the path to the workshop, ignoring Natalie's warning when he passes by the room where she’s with Pepper.

Rhodes walks into the shop, finding Tony looking at his projector for some files on him while he's sitting in one of his cars.

“Tony, you gotta get upstairs and get on top of this situation right now. And what’s that about, sending Lily to look for your toys?"

Tony doesn't respond, further exasperating the colonel.

“Listen. I've been on the puts with the National Guard on the day, trying to talk them out of rolling tanks up the PCH, knocking down your front door and taking these,” He says, pointing to the other armor prototypes. “They’re gonna take your suits, Tony. Okay? They’re sick of the games. You said nobody else would possess this technology for 20 years. Well, guess what? Somebody else had it yesterday.”

He walks towards him.

“It’s not theoretical anymore. And now can you imagine how all this would affect Lily? If the National Guard or anyone else in the government finds out about her, they’ll take her away without hesitation and they’ll all be against you. All this time you've kept her locked up, but you don't mind acting in a way that could affect her in the future.”

He stops at the side of the car.

“Are you listening to me?" He grabs his arm to get his attention. Tony is pale and tired. "Are you Okay?"

"Let's go,” answers Tony getting out of the car, but when he closes the door, he loses strength and almost falls to the ground. Rhodes helps him by holding him up.

"You all right?" He asks worried.

"Yeah, I should get to my desk,” They both walk with difficulty. "See that cigar box?" Rhodes nods. "It's palladium,” The colonel puts him on a chair and opens the box, revealing small blocks of material.

Tony pulls the reactor out of his chest and opens it, causing a block of Palladium to come out with some smoke.

"Is that supposed to be smoking?"

“If you must know, it's neutron damage. It's from the reactor wall,” explains Tony. Rhodes helps him switch blocks.

"You had this in your body?" Tony turns around. "And how about the high-tech crossword puzzle on your neck?" He points out.

"Road rash,” Tony puts the reactor back on as Rhodey watches him. "What are you looking at?"

"I'm looking at you. You wanna do this whole lone gunslinger act and it's unnecessary. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“You know, I wish I could believe that. I really do. But you've gotta trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I'm doing."

"And what about Lily?" Rhodes asks. "Are you also hiding all this from her or what excuse do you give her?" He says thinking that Lily notices many details, especially about her father.

“Makeup isn't just for women, Rhodes. Update yourself, and she doesn't know about the Palladium, she doesn't need to know.”

"Will you hide everything she shouldn't know from her?"

“It's called protection. Something that you’ve asked me to do for her many times.”

"I don't think that lying is the solution.”

Tony rolls his eyes.

"Miss Stark is coming, sir," Jarvis warns.

Rhodes now understands Tony's request for the toy.

Someone enters the code to enter. Both men are silent. Tony hides the cigar box. Lily runs up to him and gives him the screen.

“Your room is messier than mine. It took me centuries to find it,” She complains.

"Thanks, kid.”

Lily watches Rhodes.

"What were you talking about?" She says tilting her head a little towards the colonel. Rhodey remembers his promise. He smiles.

"We haven't talked about your stuff yet, Lily.”

"What did I miss?" Tony asks.

"I think it's a good idea for Lily to take self-defense classes."

"With Natalie,” adds the girl.

Tony sighs.

Taglist:

@silenthappyplace @yourbonesareinmybody @aylauwuuniverse    @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs @heavenlymistakes @my-love-of-books @dielgonacoffee

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[priorireverte]

Congratulations Nik!

Your application for Amelia Bones has been accepted. I can’t wait to see what trouble and frustrations Amelia gets into, so stripped of power and authority. No passed handed out to former Department Heads, sorry Amelia!

Please look to the checklist for the next steps and reach out if you have any questions!

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME & PRONOUNS: Nik, they/them

TIMEZONE: ACDT

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Relatively active. At least 3 to 4 times a week

ANYTHING ELSE: Cancer tw, hospice tw.

CHARACTER DETAILS

NAME: Amelia Susan Bones

BIRTHDATE: September 20th 1946

DEATHDATE: July 14 1996

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis woman. She/her and they/them pronouns. Bisexual with a heavy preference for women.

BLOOD STATUS: Half Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

OCCUPATION: Former DMLE HEAD (until death)

FACECLAIM: Louise Lombard (i have my own gifs and icons and things of her so dont worry to much about resources :D )

CHARACTER BACKGROUND

POSTBELLUM

The knowledge she died and left her brother and niece alone in the world weighed heavy on her shoulders.  It’s something she  isn’t coping with well. The knowledge that her death was the final stand the Ministry had, that it was taken over by Voldemort because she couldn’t beat him, was a tough pill to swallow for her. She knew he had his faith around and in the shadows waiting, she could count the amount of people she completely trusted in the Ministry on one hand but she thought that there would have been more of a stand. The knowledge that her failure was the reason the people she served suffered another war  sits heavy on her shoulders.  If she could do it again she would be more prepared, have an escape plan rather than just hold her ground against him. She wouldn’t have the same faith that the Ministry would hold their own against him without her, she should have known better. The only thing sitting on her shoulders heavier than that is the knowledge that her niece had suffered, that she wasn’t there to stop that and holds herself completely responsible for it.

PERSONALITY

Tough, fair, kind, compassionate. This is how Amelia would describe herself if asked. She is far more gentle on the inside than most people who work around her would think. Stick her in a room with her niece for just a moment and you’ll see the stern blue eyes soften immediately.  Amelia is a skilled negotiator and investigator. She has a way with words and a great deal of understanding in how to use them. However, she isn’t very good at using them to describe how she feels. She is compassionate,and hardworking, she much prefers to listen to how others are feeling than share her own feelings. Everyone else comes first in her mind. Will always put the needs of others in front of her own.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY

The oldest of the Bones three siblings Amelia always felt somewhat responsible for them. Constantly looking out for them and keeping their health and wellbeing in mind. Being an Aunt has always been considered her greatest achievement. Holding Edgar’s first child was a life changing experience and laying them to rest with their parents was life shattering.

Her brother and niece were all the family she had left and she cherished them. With the death of her sister in law, Susan’s mother, Amelia truly stepped up to the plate. She never tried or wanted to replace her mother but knew despite her brother’s best intentions, Susan needed someone else to be around. Amelia doesn’t have any children and has never seen the need to have any, when asked if she was planning on having any she’d simply smile and reply “I have Susan. I don’t need anymore children in my life”

HISTORY What was their life before the end of the war in ‘98 or before their death? What was important and formative for them?

     Born a few months after the end of world war two and the capture of Gellert Grindlewald meant Amelia grew up in both the bliss of peace and the pain of rebuilding. She’d listen to stories of war from the other children and overheard her mother and father discussing it sometimes. She remembered the celebrations from the 10th anniversary of war’s end and attended many memorials of those who had fallen, both muggle and magical alongside her family.

When war came to the Wixen World once more it was much less kind to the Bones. Her parents were cut down in their family home by Voldemort himself, her brother, his wife and his children slaughtered in their home. She constantly thought back to nights her father would tell her she’d never have to suffer at the hands of another war and swore she’d do whatever was necessary that the last living grandchild of his got to live that promise.

Amelia lived alone in a small home just outside of London. She’d brought it just after the first war as she climbed the ministry ranks. It made the commute to and from work much faster and proved a safe, new home with no memories attached to it.

Most of Amelia’s time was filled with work and family. She had the odd girlfriend here and there but no relationship ever lasted more than a year. She was far too dedicated to her job or her family.

Amelia’s job was incredibly important. She held the line against Fudges conspiracy theory lies. Called him out behind closed doors at every opportunity. Made her dislike and disapproval known. She was a Bones after it, it meant something in the Ministry. There were rumours that if Albus Dumbledore wasn’t going to take the position of Minister, she would. And she might have, had she lived long enough. She was preparing for it, to challenge him, and all other comers. After it was proven that Voldemort was well and truly alive and Cornelius Fudge had wasted precious time denying it out of fear , she had planned to oust him if he wouldn’t resign. Take a vote to the Wizenagemont, remove him due to his incompetence. She was killed the evening before her vote was due to hit the floor.

OOC EXPLORATION

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

The after hogwarts golden trio aspect drew me in first. Then when I read the plot more and more the idea of “returned” got me more and more interested. My favourite AU plots in group rps have always been the “What if a character who has died returned?? What happens to your character?” I adore exploring that whole new side of them.  It opens up things, plots, ideas, developments, that a traditional style of RP wouldn’t

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS

CHARACTER CONTRIBUTION

How do you see this character adding to the community and the plot?

Bringing in Amelia is similar to bringing in Edgar. It brings a Bones from that era to the story and offers connections for Susan and characters in the Marauders Era. Bringing her would also add a character who is incredibly familiar with the structure of the Ministry and a depth of knowledge in her field.

PRESENT One paragraph about your character’s life right now and how they are handling the current events of the game.

“You died, Ma’am”

The words were on constant repeat in her mind. What did they mean she died? She was alive right now, she was breathing, her heart beating. She was here. Except she last remembered it being 1996. They tell her it’s 2002. She died six years ago. Her last memory was fighting Voldemort, a loud bang, stumbling to the floor and then she woke up in the Death Chamber. A room she had both the privilege and horror of recognising. It made sense in a way. The last thing she remembered was being in her home but awoke in the Ministry but it was so hard to understand. How? Why? Everyday was a repeat of the same questions in her mind. She does her best not to dwell on it, knowing that now isn’t the time nor place to do so. Getting herself grounded, back into the world that she had no idea she left. Returning to her family. That was her first goal. Working everything else out will come later.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and other anon it makes me really happy that you like my au! I only planned for Foolish Jr. To be the name of a special totem Foolish had that he gave to Ran (its special cause while it can be used as a normal totem, if broken it can summon Foolish as a small part of Foolish is in the totem. It can also be used multiple times and repaired as many times as needed, which basically made it Foolish's personal totem). Though for Finley, I have it so the group stumbles upon a desert village that manages to point them in the general direction of Foolish's home. But I realize they wouldn't actually be able to find it, so I'll have Finley find Jackie who manages to convince her to take them to her father's temple/home. 

1: Yep. While Ranbob did tell Ran that his memory has been getting better, Ran still is a bit hesitant and treats everything as if Ranbob will forget it. Ranbob did tell him Dream caused it but Ran didnt believe him.

8: Cletus, Grievous, and Jackie I would all consider anarchists. Although Grievous may be less of one than the other 2. A bored group means finding stuff their not supposed too and screaming. 

11: Shocked, relieved, happy, a bit sad, and impressed. Even when Ran booted him off the top of the King of The Hill, he was still relieved and happy his brother was alive. 

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14: No one in this au, in the sub Brothers + Others. Ranboo, Phil, and even Techno get to throw Jackie. Though Jackie only got willingly thrown by Ranboo and Phil. For Techno he just kinda got in the way so Techno picked him up and threw him into nearby bushes. Also, I HAVE NEWS! I decided Raq will kidnap Ranbob, as this could be the perfect push to make Ran go "Oh fuck. I really do still care for him." And have Ran run out into the middle of the night to find him. With the others following behind by a hour or two. 

-------------

Duel wield :). Just imagine you have to fight Techno just to see him wielding two duplicate strong ass swords and he's like an extention of them cause he's so good at using them. 

More emotional pain than you think, but somehow also less than you think. Don't ask me to explain cause I'm not sure how I just get that vibe from the group to be honest. I'm sorry.

All of the above, Tubbo tells Jackie the long running joke of Ranboo being the main character due to his incredible luck with finding rare things or getting out of situations. And Jackie gives Tubbo blackmail by saying how Ran once willingly stepped into water because he never had a big fear of it growing up (cause Mizu) and he actually forgot that water hurts him. 

If one does spark a city will fall. 

Yeah, they all kind of make group sessions where they all sit down, exchange known information and look at it while trying to piece it together. They also exchange suspicions and conspiracies they have. 

He succeeds in convincing Ran that people aren't always as they seem and that some actions have a much deeper meaning. Like he uses how he lives with Techno and Phil and how they where feared anarchists that once ruled a world wide monarchy and where known as basically immortal because no one could even get close enough to hurt one of them. So he was scared of them when he first moved in, and how while it was rough at first, he learned their reasons for destroying L'Manburg, see how Techno wasnt the monsters others said he was, was given training and praise by Techno, and a father figure and someone who made it clear how much they cared for him by Phil. And he never expected any of that, so he tells Ran to attempt to get close again to his brother, cause his brother hasn't changed that much, but he needs to get closer to see. But he fails in stopping agurements because whenever he gets involved he gets yelled at and he doesnt have enough prior knowledge to completely and truly help. 

Sapnap and Karl say they dont really mind, cause they where never really close at all with anyone in any haunting group (for now). But they also feel a weird separation from everyone else, not a massive one but like there's a small wall between them and everyone else.

Anger, mostly from Techno. Cause Techno is pissed Dream is still around and its when this information gets out Techno basically states that their all staying until Dream is laying dead at his feet. To which Phil, Ranboo, and Sapnap all happily agree. Ranboo is surprised and feels awful. He feels like its his fault that Dream has tortured his descendants. Phil is just as angry and eager to kill Dream as Techno. Sapnap is also pissed and eager to be face to face to Dream so he can say exactly how disappointed he is in him (cause he knows Dream still cares about him, even if slightly). Tubbo and Karl are hesitant to kill Dream. Mostly because their scared of how killing Dream will affect the timeline and are still worried about how they'll get home. 

It doesn't get worse but it also doesnt get better, it mostly stays the same until Ranboo snaps and says something that really affects them. In which the fighting does get a bit better. 

Other anon, here is your reply!

-----------

1: Oh no, that's not good.

8: Sounds like a recipe for sweet chaos.

11: Aww, that's sweet. Also makes the following events more painful.

---------

14: They should toss Tubbo and Jackie at the same time, just one immediately after the other. Also, very fun! How does Ranbob get kidnapped? How does the whole rang react to it? How quick do they get him back, how do they do that, and what happens in the aftermath?

---------

Terrifying image, I'd flee immediately. Bad enough that he had one, people must be absolutely horrified that he's gotten ahold of an exact replica of his powerful blade.

Honestly, I think they just radiate that feeling in general, anon.

Pfft. Oh that's hilarious. How many times does Ranboo's Main Character energy come into play? Does Ranbob forget he can't go in water too? How many times have one of the ender siblings just went to step into a puddle or something while their groups panicked?

What kind of pranks do they have in mind to be so destructive??

Interesting. What kind of theories do they have so far?

On one hand, that sounds like very good advice, and potentially offers Ran wanting to get to know the other two more. On the other, all I can imagine is Ranboo being really cryptic and ominous while his descendants are just like '???'.

For now? Do they get closer to them? Does anything spark this?

I'm curious, what exactly invokes those feelings for Techno and Phil? Ranboo and Sapnap I can understand, with Sapnap feeling some responsibility for Dream, and Ranboo for his descendants, but as far as I know, weren't Dream and Techno somewhat allies? Did Dream do something back in the past to gain the two's ire? Or were they angry for a different reason? How do the others react to Tubbo and Karl's hesitation, both before and after knowing their concerns?

What does Ranboo say that does it?

[letsdiscoverkitty]

CPA update (30th August 2019)

I did not plan to write this this evening but I needed to get this out somewhere.

I know I haven’t been very present online and I can only apologise for that but as you can imagine things have been quite challenging since being admitted. I had my first CPA so I thought I would make a little post to help me begin to process it/get some thoughts down....(warning: very long post ahead, snacks may be necessary, and I am sorry if it does not read well/make much sense, I literally just typed my heart out)

For those who are not sure of what one is, a CPA is basically a care plan review where your treatment team review the past few weeks/months (time since the last review) and then start to plan the next stages of your care. It is a chance for different members of your treatment to meet and make sure that everyone is on the same page. Today my CPA consisted of my consultant, one of the nursing staff from the ward, the OP ED nurse I was seeing before I came in, myself and my parents. The first half of the review was just between professionals, I was then called into the room for a discussion followed by my parents nearer the end.

It is hard to remember what I have shared online so I am sorry if some of the things I mention do not make sense but I will try to cover most of what happened. I had my ward round on Thursday (due to the bank holiday weekend just gone), in which a lot of new ideas were brought to the table as, well, no one really knows what to do with me… A week or so ago I wrote a letter to my consultant as I was beginning to worry about what the plan was for when I was discharged (as it was being implied that I was to be discharged over the next few weeks)/that my community team were not replying to any messages and that I was concerned about going back home to live at my parents house.

My main worries with returning home were mainly because it is a place where I have been unwell for many years and I find that when I go back there it is almost like anorexia snaps back without me realising it/I can’t control it. Sadly due to being unwell at home for years, I do associate home with bad things, I also do not currently have no goals or things to be working towards (i.e. I have no education to go back to, no job lined up or thought about to go back to) and the worry is that I would be going back home to just anorexia and relapsing backwards. Throw into the mix that my mum retired last week, as well as the family dynamics always being quite rocky (along with being geographically being incredibly socially isolated), I think it is fair to say that I was extremely worried about the prospect of home leave let alone moving back home permanently and with very limited outpatient support.

A long story short, my consultant agrees that going back home is likely not going to help me move on/recover/give me a chance of living a life beyond this, however she also does not believe that staying in an acute EDU will help (which I do understand). In terms of why she thinks that being on the unit for longer might not help include that my weight has not been reaching the targets that are expected, I am struggling on leave/when I get given more control, as well as the usual pitfalls of being on an EDU like being trapped around a lot of other acutely unwell people, having the identity reinforced and the lack of responsibility/it not necessarily coming from me. I floated the idea of going to live in Reading with Andi however she shot me down straight away at that stage saying that I was far too unwell for that…

Anyway, to get to the point, she wants to apply for funding for me to go into residential treatment. This is not something that I know much about, although I do know that getting funding for a place is very very hard and that there are very few places that offer it in the country….from what she explained to me it is a more holistic approach, with the focus on helping you build a life beyond anorexia whilst also supporting you nutritionally. (it sounds far too fairytale-esque for my liking…)She said that as I have had a lot of psychological input and have been under services with very few gaps over the years, that it was obvious that a new approach was needed and that this style might be that. Apparently I have incredible insight/understanding however because the anorexic neural pathways/cognitions have become so strong and rigid, I find it near impossible to force myself to follow through with the theory that I know so well.

I honestly have no idea how I feel right now. I am utterly lost and confused and don’t really know what to do with myself. I feel like no one knows what to do with me/what will help and they are just trying to get rid of me. I want to recover, I really do.  My consultant said that it is not that I don’t want to or don’t have motivation, but that it is the degree of severity of the illness and the complexity of my case, which kind of helped but also left me feeling very broken and hopeless.

She tried to explain all of this to my parents today and I am actually relieved that she was able to speak to them about it as there is no way that I would have been able to approach the subject. She explained it in scientific terms and tried to be realistic about the whole process (which could likely take months to apply for funding, let alone get on the waiting list/pass assessments).

My OP team are apparently supportive of this and are going to work together with the IP team, my consultant and the therapist I was seeing as an OP to put together a proposal for the CCG. Sadly, as I have mentioned this is going to be quite a lengthy process and I don’t really know where it leaves me…If this were not being explored then I would be getting discharged to the same very minimal support that I have had over the past x years, which has not been enough in the past.

So what now? Good question. Basically I have been told that I have to “prove” to the CCG that I am not just in need of an acute EDU admission and that the funding would not be going to waste…this means that I have to show that I can maintain my weight in the community (or gain if possible) as if I were to relapse they would likely just say that I need an acute admission and refuse the funding, leaving me back at square one.

This admission was never going to be a long one, I knew that, but part of me was hoping for a bit longer…I suppose it has brought to the surface the necessity for a different approach to be explored, which I hope means something. Basically my admission can’t be extended, that has been made clear, and I now have a discharge date for two weeks time…with little to no idea of time length beyond that in regards to this talk of residential.

I honestly don’t know what to think or how to feel right now, I really don’t. Part of me thinks that they are making a big fuss over nothing and that there is no way that I will get funding as there are so many people out there with far worse scenarios than mine who need it more. At least I have a home to go to, I know there are many people who dont, so I should really just suck it up and try and do what I can at home with the support that I have.

I have no idea what the residential would entail practically but I am worried that it could end up feeding into my eating disorder even more? I know the reason for the admission would be to help me build a life beyond anorexia, but surely being stuck in a place like that almost reinforces that identity? I dont know, I am very confused about everything right now :(

Short term plan: I have an appointment set up with the ED nurse I am to see in the community for Monday morning and have been given a bit of extra leave this weekend to make it possible for me to attend. When I return to the ward on Monday afternoon I will be moving onto transition and have been promised that I will have a number of appointments with the dietitian over my last two weeks in order to create a realistic maintenance plan for when I go home (as well as trying to get my mum to attend an appointment with the two of us). I am also trying to get an appointment for my mum to come to a family therapy session (they have pretty much written off my dad as someone who can be supportive for a number of reasons which I do not want to go into right now) Being on transition hopefully will give me a bit of an opportunity to self-cater some meals and practice before I move back home for the foreseeable future.

It all feels very rushed and uncertain and I was not expecting to get this much leave this weekend so don’t really know what to do with myself but yeah I suppose this is where things are at. The ward has been quite a tricky environment so on the one hand I am glad to have some space, however Im also worried about it too.

I am sorry, I realise that this whole post probably comes across as extremely selfish and stupid - I wish I could shake myself/pull myself together and just do what I know I need to do but whywhywhy do I keep ending up back in the same place time and time again? I have tried so bloody hard over the past x years but it has never been enough….I do not want to end up being sent to a unit where I will spend months/my consultant briefly mentioned that admissions are usually between 1 and 2 years long…I really dont. but I dont know what else to do with myself when so many options have been explored. I am tired of it all, of everything. It is like I dont know where to turn anymore. Part of me feels like I am just getting palmed off from place to the next because no body knows what to do with me. sigh. I am sorry for throwing this pity party. I wish I had some more positive news to share with you all. I suppose yes I have made some progress since I was admitted. I have gained weight. I am no longer in as much danger as I was. I have had to face a lot of changes in terms of routines, eating different foods, times, I can think a little clearer, I have more concentration etc. Things are just very hard at the moment and having everything in terms of my treatment thrown up in the air like this has made me feel even more unsettled and uncertain about everything. I have no idea what the next few weeks/months may hold so for now I am going to have to continue to take each day as it comes and see where it takes me. Sorry again for the ridiculous  length of this post, you genuinely deserve a gold medal if you have stuck with me through this.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 115 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1,585 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,471 responses

Isayama’s winning streak continues. Overall chapter satisfaction was up almost 10% over last month with the majority of fans (57.2%) giving it a 5 rating. Less than 5% viewed the chapter unfavorably.

Isayama is ruthless, my god.

We got an amazing chapter this month which came out of the blue, in my opinion. So many answers were given as well as many more shocking questions. Definitely one of the best

It was definitely more eye opening  and you could just feel the tension through the different scenes.

I loved this chapter, it was definitely one of the most compelling

This is a candidate for the greatest chapter of the manga, the last candidate was chapter 112 followed by 104 and there are a lot of them. Isayama-sensei is killing it. Every single chapter is either great, or a candidate for the greatest chapter.

Honestly, just incredible. Everything I could've possibly wanted. These kinds of chapters are why attack on titan will be my favorite for a long time.

It was an interesting chapter. We got to learn more about the PATHS and some parallels to older chapters were cool.

A bit of a rollercoster of emotions but, I’m putting my faith in Isayama he’ll do what’s best

Loved it, everything's insane and pulling at nerves. Eren is the best, hands down. He's got to have the best poker face. Neither side even knows what he's up to!

Masterpiece. Wanna know more about the girl who seems to be ymir, and Pieck’s intentions as well. Cuz idt she can even stand a chance against eren, imo.

THIS CHAPTER WAS LOADED WITH FLASHBACKS. WHICH WERE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE?

1,457 responses

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Yeagerbro conversation was the most desired flashback and nearly 60% of the fandom were excited to see it. In second comes Zeke’s reaction to learning his father survived and continued on. The third place spot goes to Reiner and Bertolt as fans of the warriors were happy to see them again, even if for only a couple panels.

I'm a simple stan, I see Reiner and Bert, and I cry. 10/10 scene its about time we got more uprising arc warriors scenes but Isayama pls give us Reiner outside of a flashback again thanks

Finally, Jaeger Bros talk.

While flashbacks are nice, I feel like a lot of it was filler-esque and had hopped for more progress on what happened to Levi and Zeke.

WHAT WAS THE MOST DISTURBING IMAGERY OF THE CHAPTER? 1,492 responses

Attack on Titan is known for its plethora of disturbing imagery, and this chapter was no exception.  The majority of readers, at 32.3%, thought that a titan shoving Zeke into its stomach was rather unsettling.  16.5% were especially grossed out by Levi’s fingers being several yards from the rest of him.  Coming in third, 15.4% were disturbed by Levi’s face.

It might be the most disturbing chapter of the manga to date.

Floch, his presence and face is rather disturbing.

Yelena rape face

Ymir's soulless voids for eyes

The titan that vored Zeke was made of Flex Tape

I dont think you know what mpreg means...

The behaviour of the yeagerists towards levi which was once considered the hero of humanity

As a big Levi fan, everything that just happened to him in general.

Is everything an option? Because I am going with All Of The Above.

All of the above, tbh

all of them

Yes

OF THE FOLLOWING, WHICH WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER? 1,495 responses

Zeke’s rebirth wins by a small margin with the mystery girl coming at a very close second. At an equally close third, people were happy to see Hange find Levi and protect him from the Yeagerists. Following these was Pieck’s sudden reappearance, and Hange taking Levi and diving into the water to escape.

i honestly can't choose one. everything in this chapter was A++, one of my favorite ones in a while.

that path thing that ymir seemed to be experiencing too

Eren looking at pieck blankly 0.1 seconds after being shocked by her pointing a gun at him

Zeke's grief when considering the pain his younger brother must have suffered.

Levi’s wrecked face

Titan putting zeke into its belly

For myself personally, I found most memorable two events. Firstly, was the revelation of paths as being a physical plane on which one can percieve and exist, as opposed to a merely transcendental metaphysical force. Secondly, most memorable alongside that for me was the whole scene of Hange protecting Levi from Floch's band of Jägerists, in no small part due to my lowkey shipping of Levi and Hange.

Zeke's flashbacks + Zeke's rebirth + Pieck appearance

P A T H S

WHO WAS THE LITTLE GIRL THAT … TURNED ZEKE INTO A SANDCASTLE? 1,456 responses

While most people (almost 90%) agree that the mysterious little girl Zeke encountered is somehow Ymir Fritz, there’s no shortage of other creative possibilities regarding her identity:

I wonder if this girl could be Maria Fritz, the hair and hairband are similar.

It’s P A T H S, whose power is even more immense than that of the Devil of All Earth and Ymir Fritz. Paths can take the form of anything. Paths just happened to take the form of a little girl during that moment.

A new important character

The titan that resurrected Zeke was originally that girl. Because the titan was closest to Zeke, Paths compelled that titan to save Zeke, whether it wanted to or not.

Original inheritor of the beast titan

An asspull

I'm not sure maybe but it can be the girl "Christa" from Frieda's & Historia's storybook too

It seems clear enough to me that this is at least outwardly Ymir Fritz. As for it being I wonder perhaps if this girl being Ymir Fritz and the Devil of the Earth isn't mutually exclusive. I have no evidence to substantiate such a claim, but recently acknowledged the possibility on part of the historical misinformation in regards to her origins.

HOW SATISFIED WERE YOU WITH THE NEWLY SCULPTED ZEKE BOD, FROM “THE SAND WAS MORE APPEALING”, TO “GET THAT CENSORSHIP STEAM OUT OF THE WAY” 1,455 responses

We got a pretty full view of Zeke’s new bod this chapter, and it garnered love, hate, and apathy; as only Zeke’s body could.  Most of you wanted to get a full view of that Eldian ass at 34.7%.  On the opposite end, 22.3% would rather get freaky with the sand that turned into the bod in question; and 25.1% don’t have a strong preference either way.  6.4% aren’t in love with either the sand or Zeke, and 11.5% enjoyed the view but would like that titan smoke to stay right where it’s at.

A complete chapter, with brand new information coming to us... and lots of monkey nudes. Zeke is the fanservice character of snk.

Thicc thighs won't make me forgive his sins

Everyone is seeing zeke’s dick but me

@ isayama: release zeke's n00ds.

No more naked Zeke plz.

I feel for him and but he's a seriously underwhelming antagonist. He's really nice to look at though.

I love him as a character; his motives, his history, his personality and his character design (not just because he is a sexy hunk of Edlian ass).

I know only three things

1. Levi is not dead. 2. Eren does not agree with Zeke. 3. Zeke is hot as hell.

I suddenly feel very sorry for the SC uniform - it’s being worn by absolute pricks. Please don’t let them cover Zeke’s ass with the cape.

my heart goes to THAT DUDE WHO CAN'T STOP STARING at Zeke's nekkid crotch. i feel ya man. that shit is weird.

Zeke has the big PP. Pieck has the biggest PP.

I don't like him because of sexualization and shipps.

Zeke's abs tho

So much Zeke nudes, we need more chad Eren (don't even need to be Eren nudes, just him shirtless is ok).

I wanted to see Zeke's beastly c-ck.

Zeke is pure. Pure SLUT

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS REGARDING ZEKE’S “REBIRTH” DO YOU THINK ARE TRUE? 1,441 responses

A slight majority of the fandom believes Zeke’s rebirth is evidence that Ymir Fritz needs Zeke alive. Close to 50% believe Zeke will see it as divine approval. While a quarter of the fandom thinks this experience has changed him, only 7% believe he’s changed for the better.

Zeke's reincarnation is bs but if Ymir does have more plans for him, I'd like to see how it all turns out for the best.

I hope Zeke learns that genocide is never the answer.

I just hope we get some specific answers soon regarding how Zeke was reincarnated like that. Felt pretty off seeing Zeke revived like that, but I can understand the theory that perhaps Ymir Fritz wants him to live to save the Eldians (and perhaps this is where the "To you, 2000 years in the future" comes into play).

WE’VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THE YEAGERBRO TALK. WAS IT WHAT YOU EXPECTED? 1,483 responses

The largest portion of replies indicate that the conversation between Eren and Zeke overall went as expected. But there were also many who didn’t care how it went and were simply glad to finally see their first talk together. Smaller portions were either more than happy with the conversation or found it a total disappointment. Certainly that couldn’t be all they talked about, right?

I knew they wouldn't be on the same side but didn't expect it to be so obvious Eren is lying to and manipulating Zeke. Zeke tearing up when Eren called him "brother" is the saddest shit, but also kinda hilarious considering how many people Zeke betrayed. Also, I wonder if we'll get more since Eren talked about how he learned a lot from Zeke.

Finally got confirmation that Eren played Zeke like a fiddle. Happy to see that lil bro backstab.

I expected something more grandiose tbh, when i saw the panel of zeke standing in front of eren, i thought that was a perfect tease to just end it there

It feels like Eren has Zeke eating out of the palm of his hand and it hurt more than expected

People who latch onto the belief that Eren's goal differs from Zeke are in for a disappointment

I am disappointed that zeke cares for eren and eren doesn't seem to reciprocate those feelings, and that he was trying to play the tough guy, it's annoying and i want wholesome jeagerbros!!!!

I didn't expect to be so short, and I assume we'll get more in the future, but this time from Eren's perspective.

I think it is too early to say one way or the other. We only truly got one side of the conversation.

It was good, but I hope it's not the only thing we see. I get the impression it was merely an appetizer. When I think about the brothers talking I always imagined it will be a full chapter. This was just their first conversation. Eren said Zeke told him many things, like the info about the Ackermans, so I am expecting a hell of a lot more dialogues between them.

it wasn't what I had expected. I also can't say yet if it is better or worse cause so much about Eren's true motives is still up in the air. Like originally I had expected Zeke to be the one to convince Eren of something, but clearly that is not what is happening here. Which, on the face of it, doesn't have to be a bad thing, I just need more info.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT EREN TRULY AGREES WITH ZEKE’S PLAN? 1,490 responses

Over half of respondents agree that there’s no way in hell that Eren is on board with Zeke’s euthanasia plan. 23% believe that he is in partial agreement with Zeke’s plan, while 10% don’t want to say confidently either way whether Eren is on Zeke’s side. A small sliver of the fandom are certain that Eren is in favor of wiping out Eldia.

He just said what Zeke wanted to hear from 'his brother'. From the start of his speech Eren expressed clearly his purpose, bonus showing sympathy toward Zeke. The way that Eren said some of his points of view and plan fits to me in what he truly thinks about, but the way he said it was molded in orden to manipulate Zeke and get his confidence

Eren is getting influenced and this 'external influencer' is manipulating Zeke. Double manipulation.

He agreed with Zekes ideology at some point before Historia saved him

Zeke told him about his plan to euthanize eldians, Eren agreed that not being born into the world is salvation itself. We all know Eren thinks the EXACT opposite of that. he's manipulating zeke, only wanting his royal blood. Zeke might be the KEY to Eren's own secret plan.

I don't think eren is the kind of person to blatantly lie to someone, especially about the force that has driven him his entire life. There are some truth to his words, yes, but i think eren is going to use the fact that he thinks he shouldn't have been born to try and change the world into a safer place for his people, whereas zeke will use that same reason to eradicate his people, not giving them a chance to feel a sense of belonging in the world

He's using Zeke for some goal of his, but has gone way too far. Both of them are twisted, and perhaps share some points of their goals.

He understands and agrees with Zeke on a basic ideological level, insofar as the suffering that Eldia, and by extension Titans, bring to both the world and themselves by inherent virtue of being born. I believe, however, that this is where the agreement in actuality ends. What Eren disagrees with is the method to solve this problem. Whatever other solution Eren may have thought of, it entails the end of the titans and the elimination of paths, while sparing Eldian's lives and allowing them to continue on and have families. How this would be achieved, I do not know; this is merely my conjecture on where the story might go next.

I think he agrees with Zeke's goal of not having any Eldians born into the circumstances they are, but not his methodology of euthanasia. I think he has his own plan which will somehow stop/rewind/erase the Curse of Ymir/titanisation, possibly through altering Eldian DNA to make them unable to be turned into titans.

He's being brainwashed/manipulated by having so many memories that belong to other people, he's not being himself; not his true self

I don't believe he agrees, but I like to believe he isn't simply using his brother without any regard for him...though I can't really tell anymore with 'this' Eren :\

If Eren truly agreed with Zeke, all his development will be for nothing.

Maybe eren does actually agree that the best salvation is to never have been born, but when has eren ever wanted "salvation"?

WITH ALL THE RECENT FOCUS ON ZEKE, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM NOW? 1,487 responses

Zeke’s been getting a lot of focus lately, and this chapter was no exception.  45.7% of you enjoy his character but don’t support his schemes, and 21.9% don’t like the man but can sympathize with him at this point.  Not all are as warm however, as 19% would like to see him burn.  8.9% love monkey boi and want to protect him with all you’ve got.

He's a perfect Grey character a villain and a hero depending on view point.

I’ve always loved him. Now I love him more

His plan is batshit and I don't really like him but I think he's an interesting character but he needs to burn

His plan is unethical & impractical, his methods consist of war crimes. I hope he's taken down *ideologically* & realizes he was wrong b4 he dies

I'm not for Zeke's plan but I want him to go out feeling like his life wasn't a complete waste.

I feel sorry for all kids who have shitty childhoods, but I don't then excuse them when they project their own hatred for life onto an entire race and try to take away their right to life. It doesn't matter how righteous or merciful he believes he's being, it's undeniable arrogance to decide you know whether another person's life is worth living or not.

I hate him as a character but his plan makes him more interesting/sympathetic

I like him but don't agree with him. I'm going to be depressed when he is inevitably stabbed in the back by his beloved little brother. I am also extremely hype for that to happen.

I like his recent character development, however I don’t really like him. Very interesting character though!

Interesting, complex character. I can understand his plan too. Overall a well crafted character.

I'm so so sad for Zeke, the way he genuinely cares for Eren and trusts him, how he tears up when he called him "brother"...It will be heartbreaking when he'll realize Eren's just using him (because there's no way Eren agree with his plan), this guy's been used and craved affection and understanding all his life.

I feel like I'm crazy one here but I'm actually on Zeke's side and not at all mad at what he did to Levi

He is cancelled to me since Erwin's death.

WAS GRISHA IN THE RIGHT TO SLAUGHTER THE REISS CHILDREN? 1,475 responses

Eren recalled back to a disturbing action is father took, and gave his thoughts on it, but does the fanbase agree?  44.7% feel Grisha made the right choice, as without it things would have gone as Eren laid out for Paradis.  37.8% were unsure, and only 14.4% agreed with Eren’s conclusion that it was wrong regardless.

I acknowledge it as a necessary evil. It goes against many of my moral principles, but it was a necessary evil in the face of the worst case scenario.

He could have found another way to keep the children alive. He was lazy and chose the most convenient option.

He was neither right nor wrong, as in he had little choice.

I don't think there's a right or wrong in this scenario. Grisha did what he thought was for the greater good. No matter what decision he made, though, people still would have died.

It was a necessary evil, both logically right and morally wrong at the same time

Immoral but beneficial in the long run

there are two sides to the moral scale! For the survival of his people, of course! Every threat needs to be eliminated, but it is quite painful to know that in reality, regardless of the bigger picture, he still killed children.

For me, this is a much too complex topic to be reduced to a categorical choice of right and wrong. I can't choose between this two options ("I'm not sure" neither because it's in the same line of though) because I can't think his action in that terms.

It was not nice

WAS HANGE BEING TRUTHFUL WHEN SHE INFORMED FLOCH OF LEVI’S DEATH? 1,497 responses

Nice try, Hange. 91% of us are pretty sure that Levi still lives, and that he was only pronounced dead in the hope that his life would be spared. Not even 2% of us think that he is actually dead.

Oh, please. It doesn't take a Levi fan to know that Hange would immediately let Floch feel Levi's pulse if he was indeed dead - it was only worth potentially upsetting her guards if she thought there was a chance of his survival. Hange is one of the smartest characters in this series - she wouldn't act that way for any other reason.

Well wouldn't be reasonable to jump on a river with a corpse so i guess is the second option

I think he's alive, but it feels like Levi is being milked for popularity at this point. If he truly did survive, then I hope Levi will somehow maybe fulfill his promise!

IF LEVI IS ALIVE, DO YOU THINK HIS INJURIES WILL PROVE TO BE FATAL? 1,491 responses

In contrast to the widely-held belief that Levi still lives for the time being, there is less agreement about whether that will continue to be true. Almost half of respondents think that he will survive his wounds. The remaining half is split between thinking Levi’s days are numbered (25.4%) and being completely unsure of his fate (25.9%).

Man, seeing Levi suffering really got me, but I hope hange manages to bring him to safety, cause I think his injuries aren't fatal and the only threat to his life now are the yeagerists

he's still barely alive, but he'll die in her hands once they're safe and have swam the river, the death was slightly delayed since this chapter was focused on other things, levi will give his last little speech to hange next chapter and die

I think Levi survived his injuries and Hange is lying about him being dead, but I don’t think he will survive. Part of me hopes (for his sake) that he doesn’t survive

probably but I'm in denial so i want to believe he's fine

Levi is on the edge of death, he will die next chapter after revealing Zeke's true intentions to Hange, which will ruin Eren's plan for the moment. At least, that's what I hope happens. Levi surviving and coming back to fight doesn't make sense and Levi surviving only to be out of commission for the next of the manga and to open a tea shop is disappointing, I would rather have him die now.

IF LEVI IS ALIVE, DO YOU THINK HE WILL BE ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN FUTURE BATTLES? 1,490 responses

41% of respondents believe that Levi is permanently on the sidelines due to his condition while 37% are feeling optimistic that he will find a way to keep fighting. ⅕ of the fandom don’t want to say confidently either way. Will Levi surprise us in upcoming chapters?

Dead my ass! I can't wait for Levi to appear again out of nowhere with a badass face scar and kick Zeke's ass AGAIN

I hope we still see Levi in action, even if just once, cause removing him leaves everything in the hands of ‘god-like’ characters who can control people. Now it’s just like humanity’s doomed cause the ‘gods’ decided so and I don’t like it. There is still Mikasa, but with Levi humanity had a better chance in this ever so uneven battle.

I think Levi is out of the fight (thanks to those godawful fingers on the ground ugh) BUT I think he'll have one last move, one last action in the final battle that will somehow deeply affect the plot, before dying (think Erwin cutting off Eren from Bertholdt after his arm was eaten). I want to be wrong because Levi has always deserved better, but I also want to be right because he needs to rest and the ignominy of humanity's strongest taken out of the fight like that is just. Too much.

Levi has to live and fight bc he needs to show off his new badass battle scar duh

I really love Levi, but I don't want him to be disabled so I prefer him to be dead. If Isayama can make him okay as before, I hope the story wont become weak.

I want Levi' s scarred face to be the last thing that Zeke ever sees.

I'm wondering what's worse, Levi dead or Levi hobbled and injured so badly that he can't fight anymore.  Robbing him of his identity is perhaps even crueler than death.  How awful, to linger and watch the rest of the battle unfold, knowing he can't even help because of his own careless actions.

WHETHER IT’S PLOT ARMOR OR A MEDICAL MIRACLE, WHICH CHARACTER’S ESCAPE FROM DEATH HAVE YOU FOUND LEAST BELIEVABLE? 1,551 responses

We heard from several sources that this was the most difficult question on the poll. Maybe that’s why it had dozens more responses than any other question. It turns out that Zeke getting shoved into a titan tummy and having a sandcastle body sculpted by a mystery child isn’t the most unrealistic save in this manga. “Reiner surviving everything” followed by “Armin surviving his fall and burns” were the top choices.

Zeke's resurrection is the most bullshit ass pull of all.

Erwin and Armin were the two less believable survivors. I can turn a blind eye on plot-armors when it involve Shifters or even Ackermans, but Armin and Erwin were simple humans.

Erwin surviving all the way through serumbowl with a partly missing abdomen while bleeding out is just as worthy of being there, no one mentions it because he eventually died but it's almost if not on the same level as Armin living long enough through serumbowl.

I feel tired of the whole plot armor some characters have. Reiner, Armin (even if he is one of my favorites), Levi and now Zeke. I just feel tired of seeing them dying and then being magically saved. Yes, some dots are connecting together, but the whole armor plot makes the story boring and unnatural. A lot of great and interesting characters died, but there are some blessed ones who will not die even if a large bomb will fall straight at their heads.

maybe Zeke transferred his consciousness to other parts of his body like Reiner did in the Return to Shingashina arc? That's the only other idea I can think of how Zeke survived in the end.

I can't believe Levi narrowly escaped death because the monkey dingdong was too shiny and hypnotizing

I can't believe it, but Isyama finally topped the plot armor Reiner had back in RTS. Holy shit. The first thought was no one could have more plot armor than Eren did back in Shiganshina, then it was when Rod Riese became that hideous nightmare enduing faceless titan and didn't try and eat Eren, then it was Reiner's plot armor in RTS that stole it with notable mention from Armin, then it was Levi as a notable mention. This resurrected bullshit that saved Zeke can't be outdone. There is just no way in hell. Like, you just can't out do it. No one does plot armor better than Zeke!!!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YELENA INSTITUTING ARMBANDS ON PARADIS? 1,484 responses

The irony of Yelena immediately instituting armbands as a classification system wasn’t lost on it. 44% thought is was horrible and a wrong choice, 28% recognized it as gross but understood the need to organize, while 22% had no opinion

As a sociologist, it’s interesting. The reality is that society/social classes often create symbols to communicate their social status so if it’s not armbands it’d be something else.

As expected of Yeagerists they are true organized shits! Congrats!!

Isayama is very big on the 'history repeating itself' thing and without a doubt this is one of those things.

I feel as if he is being kept out of the loop by the Volunteers, due to his befriending and fraternising with Eldian's (Hange especially), in much the same way as Niccolo was. This makes me inclined to think that Onyankonpon would side with the established Survey Corps if/when he learns the full plan, and that Yelena knows this.

it's ironic and though it's wrong, i think it's also clever how no matter how hard the yelena is trying to break free from marley traditions, those traditions still come naturally to her them whether she realizes it or not

I have a problem with how she's using people, not how she's doing it

People make a mountain out of a molehill, it's not something bad, it's just practical. They need to know who drank the wine and who didn't. Their actions are bad, but not their way of organizing.

Regardless of anything, I'd let Yelena tie me up any way she likes and I think deep down Pixis totally agrees

You boors know nothing of fashion.

IS ONYANKOPON ON PARADIS’ SIDE OR IS HE IN CAHOOTS WITH YELENA? 1,480 responses

Only 12.4% of the fandom believe Onyankopon is fully aligned with Yelena, A percentage more (13.9%) believe he’s on the Survey Corps side. The remainder of the fandom is either undecided or think that he is.

boi is lookin mad confused every time he appears now tbh

He might be on Yellena's side but I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to play a different game.

His arms are crossed and he's literally side-eyeing Yelena. He is not all-in with Yelena.

He said that he dedicated himself for "Eldia". I don't know why, but I have that weird feeling that he would help Eren and his group (Floch etc.) to make the new Eldia empire great again

I think he will help Hanji, he was always showed with them more than with any other person

Maybe he is working for someone else entirely. We still don't know if we have all the chess pieces on the damned board.

I really want an insight into Onyakopon's motives at this point. You can see he's not as enthusiastic about the situation, and I thought he genuinely bonded with Hanji.

WHY DO YOU THINK EREN WANTS TO LURE IN THE WARRIORS? 1,473 responses

Nearly half of the fandom believes that Eren’s goal is to eat the remaining warriors and gain their powers. About ⅓ of respondents think his goal is to negotiate with them, while smaller portions of the fandom think he may just want to get them out of the way or fully ally with them. Hopefully his chat with Pieck enlightens us! Meanwhile here are some write-in thoughts:

That boy is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, i have no idea what he is doing

Either to unlock a new ability with the Founding Titan that might require all the other Titan Shifters to be present or to kill them for the eventual rumbling.

I dunno but he clearly needs them for something. I'm leaning towards him needing to collect all their titans to do some sort of Curse Reset.

I am not sure whether he wants to eat every single warrior, especially regarding the convo he had with Reiner in the Marley arc. He wanted to chomp Porco tho, so I am not sure.

he can only do so much by himself, he has gained reiner's sympathy so having him as an ally seems like an option

I'd like to believe that Eren is luring the warriors so he can ally with them but realistically, he's probably going to eat 'em all. It started with the warhammer titan and he was about to do the same to Porco back in Marley for his jaws (which he would need to crack Annie's crystal open) but I digress. It'll probably happen in that order. He'll get annie after eating porco and pieck. Fuck. That part's gonna suck

I'm not sure, but he definitely doesn't want them trying to stop him doing whatever he's planning to do.

Like he said, he'll keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed.

He wants them to connect and give the 9 elements to original Ymir. Maybe this way eldians will be free.

I laughed at the negotiation option, because if Eren ever was capable of comunicate with anyone in Paradise this mess wouldn't be happening. Actually if any character comunicated this wouldn't be happening.

Eren playing 4d chess

WHAT DO YOU THINK PIECK’S INTENTIONS WITH EREN ARE? 1,477 responses

The big chapter cliffhanger this month was Pieck pulling a sneaky on Eren, as expected of her.  About two thirds of you, at 65.9% are guessing she’s there to talk with him; while 31.2% think she has more aggressive options in mind with that gun.

Pieck is smart. If she wanted to kill or capture Eren, she would've shot him without a warning. Clearly she wants something out of Eren, probably information, before neutralizing him

For the moment she's probably more interested in rescuing Gabi than doing anything with Eren.

Get information from him then kill him

Pieck most likely would want to talk about the jaegerbros sudden "alliance" She wants to know why Zeke used and betrayed her and their comrades.

Idk for sure, but I'm 120% sure she has a plan. Everyone is underestimating Pikku.

No clue. I don't hate her, but she's still complicit in war crimes, so whatever she's up to, it can't be good

To talk, Pieck is smart and if she wanted to kill Eren she should know that she had to do so earlier.

Probably a battle of wits, since Pieck is always exactly right and 19 yo Eren became very manipulative

Something tells me she's going to want Eren to direct her to Annie first. I mean, it's the final arc, and they still haven't resolved the Annie situation. I feel like this how Annie's supposed return will kick in: One of the reasons Pieck is in Paradis on reconnaissance is because she want to retrieve Annie from Paradis and bring her back to Marley. Maybe, she wants to do it with minimal bloodshed without making a scene.

Have a baby with him to cuck Zeke

EREN & PIECK - WHO HAS THE UPPER HAND? 1,480 responses

About ¾ of the fanbase at 76.3% lean towards Eren and his three titans having the upper hand here, and 23.7% think Pieck’s planning will pay off exactly as planned.

Pieck isn't stupid and it's quite obvious to anyone that she CANNOT kill eren. She isn't very strong as a titan compared to him, nor in human form. She doesn't stand a chance.

She knows he is powerful, I doubt she'd be stupid to try to have a fight with a man who holds three titans.

Pieck will fix everything

Pieck knows Zeke best of the current batch of warriors- I HOPE TO GOD THAT SHE IS NEVER WRONG WITH PLANS.

Pieck certainty cannot beat Eren in her titan form without her men and big guns, and doesn't seem to be in great form physically, as she was on crutches until a short while ago.

Kinda want Eren to absolutely demolish Pieck, whether it be Titan-form or not, just so Gabi can freak out even more.

I want Pieck to beat the shit out of Eren, but I know it won’t happen

I fear for Pieck's life :( Eren's gonna Warhammer her ass against the ceiling before she can say 'Wuh'

WHO’S WITH PIECK? 1,443 responses

Is Pieck alone, or does she have support?  The majority seem to think Reiner and Porco are accompanying her, with 64.9% and 63.5% respectively.  34% think Colt tagged along to help find his brother, and 18.7% think General Magath is there as well.  2.1% of you are holding out hope that our Ymir is still alive, and with the warriors in fact.  Pieck might be by her lonesome though, with 18.5% of you choosing that option.

It's been a while since we've seen any of the Warriors besides Pieck and it is the perfect time for Eren and Reiner to meet again.

I presume Reiner and the others are close by, but I still cannot see how all of them would be able to subdue or beat Eren, as he beat them all almost single- handily before he consumed the War hammer titan.

I have a strong feeling that Reiner's going to be the one to find the 104th and the Braus family in the cell. It will make for an interesting meeting, especially with Armin.

Freckled Ymir keeps getting indirectly referenced while highlighting her absence.

OwO best waifu Pieck returns all is well.

I JUST WANT TO SEE REINER ALREADY!!!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS AFTER THIS CHAPTER?

Hange’s heroics netted them a giant surge in popularity (1004↑) while Yelena (755↓) and Floch (898↓) each took a hit. Pieck’s confrontation with Eren was appreciated (737↑). Despite being unconscious, Levi’s approval was likewise up (701↑). The debut of Ymir Fritz had the majority holding off on judgment, although 514 respondents where inclined to view her favorably.

Hange is the best human in this manga

Hange, a real champ. Zeke is a dumbass. The more I see douchebag Eren, the more I want to kick him in the balls. Floch, Yelena & Co (exclude Oyankapon, he is a good boi) can go shove fucking thunderspears up their arses...the deeper their devotion, the deeper the penetration.

hange's great - zeke's wack - eren's angsty - press f for levi

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,396 responses

We have a lot of differing opinions regarding how much of this story remains to be told! The most popular option for the final chapter of the manga is chapter 130 with 35% of respondents selecting that option. More striking perhaps, is that 86% of respondents think that the manga will continue to at least chapter 130. 50% believe that 134 is the earliest possible chapter for the story’s conclusion.

WHY is 118 an option for the conclusion of the manga? No fucking way we've only got three more chapters, surely? Don't fucking do this to me y'all

WHO DO YOU MOST HOPE TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,493 responses

The majority of the fandom seem to have had their fill of Zeke and the Yeagerists and are ready to focus on other characters. Topping our wishlist is a continuation of Eren, Pieck and Gabi’s confrontation (70%), followed by the seeing more of Levi and Hange (60%). Armin Mikasa and the 104th (45%) and Historia (40.4%) are also on many minds.

Can't wait to hear what Pieck and Eren have to say. I think this chapter has allowed for some development between them.

I have been waiting years to learn all that was in this chapter and the end has me dying cause I’ve been wanting to know what it’d be like if Eren and Pieck met. So awesome chapter! Can’t wait for next month!

I really fucking miss Historia.

after having so much mikasa since 102 i’ve realised that i miss her presence a lot in the last three chapters... so i hope she’s in 116

I hope mikasa and armin are ok and Levi I feel so bad for 😢

Annie day now

I miss Reiner ;___;

WHERE DO YOU NORMALLY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,427 responses

Thank you Reddit 😘

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 

Loved the realisation that we’ve already been shown a paths “dimension” preciously in the manga and anime.

Fucking crazy, on one hand is like Yams, please, slow down and on the other hand is like, yes, keep it going, you crazy bastard.

It had a lot of emotional impact. I hated it and loved it at the same time.

Needed more Floch, I live for Floch.

I hate sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating and gets everywhere

Some interesting parallels that relate very well to the chapter's title "Support": Ymir Fritz puts Zeke back together, Eren "appears" to support Zeke's plan, Hanji grabs Levi and saves him from the "traitors" (how dare they use Eren's surname, they're not worthy!), and Pieck arrives to save Gabi and Falco!

I love Eren more with every chapter. He's so fucking cool. He was startled for two seconds, then went back to apathy and is just standing there with his hands in his pockets while Pieck holds a gun to him. What a chad.

With how many weird turns this manga is taking, you really don't know what to expect next. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next chapter, Eren asks Pieck to marry him, Zeke shoots himself to see if he'll get revived again (and doesn't), and Hange injects Levi with titan serum, but rather than helping him in any way, it just makes him 3 inches shorter.

Holy crap the art was on point 👌👌👌 plus I've been lowkey itching for some more supernatural elements so I'm pretty happy with this development

It made me more excited to see the conclusion and what everyone's true motives are.

I love the suspense each panel gives, I feeling of worry and excitement

Can Floch die? I mean seriously, can he just fall off a cliff and get impaled? Or get hit by a stray bullet? Because his superior attitude is grating on my nerves. I’m glad Hange escaped 👍🏿

Great to see how the different characters draw motivation for their different goals and I am hyped that the reader is not told what Eren is really planning.

I just want Armin to play a major role. He’s been put on the backburner for far too long and he actually needs to be using his brain to fix the situation that Eldia is in. Even now, I still have faith that Armin is going to be the one to save the people in the walls. I predict that Armin does have some hidden agenda up his sleeve that he hasn’t revealed yet that will change the game entirely. He’s as intelligent if not more so than Erwin is after all. I still believe that Armin is the true savior of Eldia and that he is someone that Marley and the world should fear.

Zeke's resurrection was probably one of the most bizarre moments I've ever witnessed in this manga and I've got so many questions now. The chapter as a whole, however, was still enjoyable and very thought-provoking. Seeing how close we are to the end, though, I hope we get all the important questions answered before it's over because I hate when things are left unanswered.

To me it's clear that Eren is playing Zeke, but I wonder how he knew exactly how to play him so well? This is basically their first face-to-face interaction, I don't think he took the idea from Yelena, because actually I doubt Yelena understands Zeke except through her own filter, and Grisha definitively didn't understand him, so he can't even have been relying on his memories. Not to mention Zeke is a notoriously closed off individual in general, so what gives, Eren?

I absolutely love the direction of the story even though so much is happening against the interests of the party I want to win. Exactly how Return to Shiganshina felt like. And similar to RtS, I feel we will have a lukewarm conclusion that'll make us feel all the emotions in existence all at once.

Can't believe there wasn't a question about Zeke's junk. Did he get his wish or not? I swear, the quality of this poll has gone down dramatically this month.

I honestly don't understand Eren in the Jeagerbro talk. He seems to be making contradictory statements - ""We'll keep moving forward... But only until we practically erase our race's existence in this world."" Zeke's plan isn't a move forward, isn't a step towards freedom the way we know Eren / Attack Titan crave freedom. It is tying and blindfolding the people of Ymir to metaphorical train tracks. Which is far from freeing them, and which is why I think Eren has his own agenda and is only pretending to go along with Zeke. Now I'm not saying Eren has some noble plan that will properly save all the Eldians, for all we know he still wants to go ahead with the rumbling. I'm just saying Zeke's plan does not seem to align with Eren or the Attack Titan's ideologies (and yes, I'm talking about post Ch 90 Eren).

I really love where this is going and in just 2 chapters he made Zeke become one of my favourite characters, - if not the No1. Poor boi, needs to be protected at all costs. Also it is so horrible to see that he was used by everyone around him, his father especially and now it looks like Eren is about to do the same. Poor fella just wants a family member who actually cares about him as a person and he never really got that. Also, showing a more human side to him when he worries about Eren and then tearing up when Eren calls him brother? Give me more please.

Floch is still my favorite character. Fucking fight me about it, try it, I've got a hairstylists' nightmare on my side who isn't afraid to shoot (don't worry he can't aim very well).

Floch you fuckin piece of shit. Such a good character but such a fucking bastard. I really love to hate him. Fuck you Floch, you magnificient bastard

Can we safely assume that Annie is actually in the paths realm?

Could Pieck be Kruger's daughter?

if Levi gets oofed I'll get oofed with him.

Thank you to everyone who participated. We’ll see you again next month! 

[kikithedeceiver]

Are you going to translate kagerou daze last chapter? I can’t wait

Well...okay. I’m gonna be honest with the Kagepro Fandom here.

It is not likely Iwill post the RAW manga for the fandom anymore

I will get the manga, yes. But at this point, I don’t evenwant to contribute anything to do fandom to help with access to officialcontents.

It was a very hard decision to make, but with how theKagepro fandom is acting today, I have decided I will not post the Kagepro RAWson Tumblr anymore, and will remove all RAWs I have scanned once I get thesubscription.

TL; DR: At thispoint, the fandom is too toxic, therefore I have no more desire to provide themanga chapters even though there is only one chapter left. Sorry to those whowere not involved in this, but screw it with the antis who now run the fandomand hope you’re happy.

Also still shipKanoKido and don’t see HibiMomo as a “pedophilia ship”

Listen. Back when I joined the fandom, it was a simplertime. Yobanashi Deceive came out, followed by Lost Time Memory and Ayano’sTheory of Happiness shortly after. Those days were simple as we all cried overKano and Ayano, and think of the potential plot LTM revealed as we all waited forMekakucity Actors to come out. We also had awesome contents on translatorstranslating some fancomics (with permission) and a good amount of fanfics andfanarts provided by the fans in this fandom.  

Of course, we had some discourse over which was better:KanoKido or KanoAya; and over Shounen Brave’s MV being leaked online. And wehad major discourse over how MCA went, but in the end it’s just agree todisagree and move on to focus to other medias Kagerou Project was released in,or just move away from the series in general.

Right now with the fandom, however, they cannot agree ordisagree over ships. Majority of the fandom anyway. Today the fandom…other fandoms really, just love to throwthe word ‘incest’ and ‘pedophilia’ left and right with ease and spread theirflames in their posts, tags and replies. In everything, really. Even when theyposted official art, they feel the need to scream in their tag to tell usshippers to fuck off and die for shipping what they think is ‘incest’. I also knowthere are those who are disgusted over my display picture of Kano and Kidokissing, which an old friend of mine edited when that episode of MCA aired(won’t reveal name because I don’t want you to attack them). And even feelgross out over the pic in my blog of Kano petting Kido’s kitty ears.

I want to ask, how can the antis who claim Kano and Kido aresiblings, can see petting as sexual? You could have chosen to see it as abrother petting his sister’s kitty ears because it is cute and fun to tease herfor that, but no. Just because Kano and Kido are alone within a picture…or apanel frame really, you guys choose to view it as a romantic relationshipinstead of a sibling relationship, getting angry over it and spreading hate.

Ironic for antis who claim Kano & Kido are siblings, butjust seeing them together doing something makes you think it’s romantic anyway.

What’s more. Age gaps. Ever since another discourse over ships happened when my friend tried to makepeace with shippers (and sadly failed and upset over it when you guys flamedher), I have heard of this thing called “Half your age + Seven” to dictate whoto date with, and what is appropriately shippable, like HibiMomo. Honestly thispost have the best response over it, but I will quote the replyhere.

so a 16 year old can’tdate a 14 year old? so an 18 year old can’t date a 16 year old? so a 40 yearold can’t date a 27 year old? a math expression should not be the regulation ondating ages…

and if it’s shippingwho tf cares? not hurting anybody because they all fictional…

To be honest, this reminds me of Dead Poet Society. Ifanyone had seen the film, maybe you recall a scene where poetry is calculatedby math as well. This is that level of stupidity. The fandom today is doingsomething what could be considered excrement on what is acceptable over whatis fiction and bringing that over to reality. The reality where your parents,grandparents, classmates or anyone you know also have age gaps, and that reallyyou are more upset over fictional characters dating instead of real-life issuesof incest and pedophilia.

Other than that little discourse fiasco, there are otherthings, but I will not go into detail. Instead just says this tiny fandom justfeels too entitled with their belief and doing uncalled for things likebackstabbing and limiting others to enjoy supporting the fandom in their ownway. Also to let the antis go free by just sit by and watch. I understand thosewho are just tired and don’t want to deal with them. But for those who actuallyenable the antis to do what they want because you guys just don’t care, youguys are part of the guilty party as well by letting them grow and think it’sa-okay to be like this.

With that being said, I do not feel the need to post thefinal chapter anymore. You guys will have to figure it out yourselves or justwait and hear bits and pieces of it maybe. But I don’t even want to post what Iknow. Instead I will just share those RAWs with who I am friends with and whomI trust, plus those who are more mature because instead of flaming, they justlet others enjoy what they ship and do their own things.

The chapters being taken down will also remove myself as aRAW provider to the fandom, which I am thankful because I do not need to dothis anymore, as I, again, I hate scanning and always believe I would get intotrouble.

I know there are those, like my friends and mutuals I havehere on Tumblr, who wanted to read the manga since they do not have access tothem where they live. I am sorry for doing this to them too, but it just isn’tworth it in the end.

Instead, I will spend my remaining days in the fandom asjust someone who hears bits and pieces of Kagepro fandom here and there while Iam enjoying myself more in another fandom or doing other things I enjoy inlife, instead of spreading hate when someone doesn’t agree with you. I willstill look forward to Jin’s next album and when Mekakucity Reload to come out, andalso I might finish my KanoKido Oneshot requests and multichapter stories Iwanted to finish, but that will take a longtime since I’m planning to focus other writing instead.

But what I look forward to the most is when the series’ end,so then it can be put to rest for real and I can officially leave and let thefandom to slowly die. Might hear some things, but it will be a dying fandom atthat point.

The asks are still open for yelling. But it will just provea point. But right now, I believe I have blocked a lot of anti, which goes toshow how toxic this fandom has become. If I do get any asks/anon hate though,feel free to blacklist #discourse and #negativity, dear followers. Tumblralways had that option at least, you guys just need to use it when you’re onthe app without xKit. Also I will just answer those asks once, then block them afterwards (if you’re sending an ask through anon, you’re IP blocked).

If you guys read this whole thing (over 2 pages at thispoint), then I thank you for reading this. And more so if you understand what Iam doing. Sorry to those who are upset over this, but not to the antis who areupset and possibly raging if they read this.

Because with antis running the fandom, I want no part in itby providing them the last manga content.

[sadprose-auroras]

‘About Time’ - Roger TaylorxFem!Reader (Part 1)

A/N: Hello my darlings! I can’t decide if I hate this or not, and I’m not sure if I’ll continue writing this, depends on the response. Please let me know if you want me to continue it (it would probably require way more parts, like a full on series). Hope you enjoy! - Also, this can apply to Ben Hardy’s portrayal of Roger. Whatever you prefer!

(This was totally inspired by a couple time travel fics I read a few weeks ago, I can’t remember the authors or the names but all credits to them for the time travel idea…. LOVE. IT. I just HAD to write my own, crappier version)

Find my other works here!

 You sunk to the floor, your knees giving out beneath you. You felt ridiculous, curling up in a ball, in your wardrobe, but you had reached your breaking point; everything had suddenly hit you. As you hugged your knees, sobbing, your jeans became tear-soaked. Your mind wandered, as your cheeks flamed in embarrassment and shame about your current state, despite nobody being around. How did you get here? A few months ago, your life was great. You had a great job, a great circle of friends and boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion; studying fashion design. Then, everything began to crumble around you. All your friends turned on you, you got fired, and your studies began to slip as a result, causing you to fail an exam.  

 If all that wasn’t bad enough, you found out your boyfriend of two years had been cheating on you for a year and 11 months. Go figure. It was as if the universe was playing some long, cruel joke on you, just to see how long before you gave up on trying to pursue any kind of happiness. Just as you came to the conclusion that you really had nothing to fight for, leaning your head back on the wall behind you and closing your eyes, the strangest feeling overcame you. Your head began to spin, and pins and needles covered your entire body. You tried to open your eyes, to move your body, but you were frozen. Your heart rate increased rapidly, and you began to think that this was really it. Whatever was happening, you were going to die. Strangely enough, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.  

 By some miracle, everything stopped. The pins and needles ceased, and, save a throbbing headache, you felt much better. You experimentally wiggled your toes, and you had feeling back again. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, looking around you. It was dark, but you could make out the shapes of the clothes hanging around you. Oddly, you didn’t recognise any of them. The chair that was next to you when you closed your eyes was gone, replaced by a shoe rack.  

You stood up, closed your eyes again and rubbed your temples, trying to rid of the probable hallucinations. You racked your brain, thinking back to when you studied psychosis in high school. You couldn’t remember a thing. Was temporary paralysis a symptom? 

 You decided you needed to call a doctor. You pulled your iPhone out of your pocket, still in the dark, and opened up safari. You had no wifi, and no reception. Frowning, you opened the wardrobe door, the knob feeling unfamiliar, to be greeted by a figure doing the same. The door swung open suddenly, bouncing on its hinges.

 You both screamed loudly, and, without looking at the figure in front of you, you tried to push past to get away, however, a hand gripped you and pulled you back. 

 Your eyes became fixed on the man in front of you. You frowned, unable to tear your eyes off him. The hallucinations were getting worse; you were conjuring up images of people in your home. Hang on. You knew his face all too well; you had spent hours watching him drum and sing at concerts on YouTube. It couldn’t be, could it?

 “Who are you, and what the hell are you doing in my wardrobe!?” he asked, releasing his grip on you. You winced, rubbing where his fingernails had dug into you. This was all too much.

 “I should be asking you the same thing, why are you in my house? What’s going on?” you looked around the room, expecting to see your familiar bedroom; your posters plastered around the walls, your colourful duvet, and your plush white carpet. Instead, the walls were empty, the duvet was blue, and the carpet was grey.

 “I need to sit down,” you said, overwhelmed, perching on the edge of the unfamiliar bed. You glanced up at the man in front of you, his expression still shocked and wide-eyed, as he looked you up and down, his brows furrowing. 

 “God, you seem so real,” you laughed. “But there’s no way.”“What the fuck do you mean?” he replied. “I know I’m real, but I can’t say the same about you. I’ve never known anyone who can just appear out of thin air,” he shook his head in disbelief. 

 You frowned, rubbing your hands through your hair. “What do you mean, I appeared out of thin air?” your stomach began to sink. For reasons you couldn’t explain, something else was going on. Something much weirder than you initially thought.

 “Well, I don’t see how you could have got into my wardrobe without me seeing. I’ve been in my room for 20 minutes.” You glanced at his legs, frowning. What kind of person wears flared jeans anymore? 

 “I, um,” you began, a laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. This was all too ridiculous. You were actively avoiding eye contact with him. You figured if you acknowledged that it was him, at that age, in front of you, this would all go away. It was impossible. Suddenly, it all came together, as shocking as it was. It wasn’t him that was in the wrong place, it was you. This wasn’t your house. You had no wifi or reception. And, Roger Taylor, looking as he did circa 1972, was right in front of you. Had you time travelled? Your head span at the possibility. What else could explain these strange occurrences? 

 “What year is it?” you asked, this time properly meeting his eyes this time. Photos didn’t do the real thing justice; his baby blue eyes were maintaining steady eye contact with you, his lips were slightly parted, and his hair looked so soft and angelic. He was insanely beautiful. You internally cursed yourself. Now was definitely not the time.  

“1972…” he said, becoming even more confused. Your theory was confirmed. You’d watched all of the Back to the Future movies countless times, but you’d never imagined anything like that could ever really happen. Especially to you; plain, boring, old you. 

 “I know you’re probably not inclined to believe the crazy girl from your wardrobe, but I think,” you bit your lip, concerned at how he would take the news. “I think I’m from the future.” 

----------

 “So, you’re telling me you didn’t do anything for this to actually happen?” Roger asked. After trying to explain to him a million times, that yes, you were in fact just as confused as him, and no, you didn’t climb through his window, you tried to remain patient. He had every right to be confused as hell, you would definitely react the same if you were in his shoes. Despite this though, he was oddly trusting, allowing you to remain in his house and actually giving you the time of day to explain your side of the story. He even offered you a glass of water and something to eat, which you accepted gratefully. You were starving. 

 “Yes, I was literally just in my wardrobe, then the next thing I knew we were screaming in each other’s faces.” 

 “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You don’t seem very sane so far. I’m going to need some proof. You could just be a crazy girl who will do anything to sleep with me,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes. So the stories were true, he really was cocky.

 “Don’t flatter yourself, Taylor,” you retorted. “And no,” you said quickly, as he opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t know your surname because I’m a crazy stalker.” Your mind wandered to your extensive Queen record and CD collection. Okay, so maybe you were a little, but he didn’t need to know that. 

 “I know because Queen makes it big. I mean, massive.” You bit your lip nervously. If Back to the Future taught you anything, nobody should know too much about their own future. For the first time in your life, you had to think about what you said before you said it.

“How can I convince you?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “What year do you claim to come from, anyway?”

“2019,” you bit your lip. 

His eyes widened in disbelief. “Shit,” he mumbled. “Am I….?”

 “Still alive? Yeah.” Suddenly, you had an idea. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, thankful it was still charged. You turned it on, the time and date you had left still displayed on the screen (18th January 2019, 11:00), in front of a picture of Queen from 1975. You turned the screen towards him. 

 “Holy shit, is that me?” he gasped, leaning forward. “2019.” He looked up at you, and you shrugged and nodded. You were thankful he didn’t know the implications of having a picture of somebody as your lockscreen. 

 “There’s something else,” you unlocked your phone, opening music and searching for ‘Doing Alright.’ You pressed play, the song pouring out of the speakers.

Yesterday, my life was in ruin

Now today, I know what I’m doing… 

“Oh my god, that’s our song! We haven’t even released it yet.” He chuckled. You couldn’t help but grin at his excitement, encapsulated by his gorgeous smile. 

 “Wanna hear more?” you smirked. It’s funny, you had never felt so comfortable around somebody so quickly. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him relaxed you. 

----------

 “Have you noticed I haven’t asked about that thing you’re holding, ‘cause I’m too scared to?”

 You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. You’d spent the last half an hour playing Roger a few more Queen songs. A small nagging voice in the back of your mind was telling you to stop, to not reveal anything about his future, no matter how small. But Roger’s pleading to hear more won.

 “It’s actually a phone,” you said, to answer his question. “Well, that’s its main purpose anyway. You can use it to take and store pictures, play music, and use the internet. Which, well, you’ll find out about in approximately 18 years.”

 “I’m intrigued, what’s the internet?” he asked. You thought of all the unspeakable things you had come across on social media, and shook your head.“You don’t want to know.” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you tried to suppress a blush.  

You cleared your throat, averting your eyes from him as you straightened up in your seat. “What’s the time?” you asked. He glanced down at his watch. “3am,” he laughed in disbelief. “We should probably get some sleep. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

 You shook your head rapidly, taken aback by his utter kindness. “Oh my god no, please, I will. It’s your house,” you said, getting up from the chair you were sitting on. He did the same. You both stood awkwardly, basically staring at each other. You couldn’t help but think of the times you watched a Queen documentary on TV, with the Roger of your time’s commentary. It was hard to believe the man in front of you was the same person.  

 He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes off you, and going into his bedroom, mumbling something about getting something for you to sleep in.  

 As you awaited his return, you couldn’t help but wonder why you were so focused on how flustered you were around Roger, and not worried about the fact that you were literally stuck in the wrong year, and had no idea how to get back. The funny thing was, you had no desire to. You hadn’t felt so at home in a long time, than when you were laughing and talking with Roger. He made you feel so safe, so quickly. And that feeling would only grow stronger when you both gave up on convincing the other to sleep on the couch, and ended up sharing his bed. 

PART 2: BONUS CONTENT THAT I WROTE THE SAME DAY AS PART ONE. I’M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE IT BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING IT IN A WORD DOC N NOT POSTING IT?

When I was writing this, I couldn’t stop imagining rom-com moments. Like, the outfit section? A cute montage with a cute song. Damn I wish I could express the images in my head more clearly, in words. My writing sucks. 

“Y/N, wake up. Y/N!!” A familiar, yet foreign, voice startled you. As you came to your senses, you realised your usual soft, silky sheets were replaced with cotton ones, and an unusual smell wafted around you. You slowly opened your eyes, to be greeted by Roger leaning over you, a slightly annoyed look on his face. Fuck. It was real. He must’ve read your disappointment on your face, and he smiled sympathetically and nodded.

“Yep, you’re still here,” he mumbled. You couldn’t help but sigh; you’d hoped it was a really long, unusual dream.

“I have to go to rehearsal for a gig tonight. Do you wanna come?” Of course you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet the rest of the band, and literally see the magic happen, you couldn’t help but feel like you were invading. But then again, who could say they had the chance to sit in on an early Queen rehearsal, especially knowing how successful and impactful they were going to become?

“I don’t – I don’t want to intrude,” you mumbled, sitting up in the bed and clutching the duvet around you, suddenly feeling exposed in Roger’s white shirt.

“Well it’s your choice, I understand that you probably don’t want to sit around with us when you could be finding a way back home or finding your parents or something,” he said.

Although you would never admit it, you wanted nothing more than to go with him. Not only was it literally history in the making, but the absence of your birth parents in your life, leading to a childhood of foster families who couldn’t care less about you, gave you a sense of independence at a young age. You knew how to be alone, seeking solace in music. Music created by the greats like Queen made you feel less alone, as silly as it sounded. It was your escape from the struggles in your real life.

“Wait, no. I want to come. If you don’t mind. But I need something 70s appropriate to wear,” you chuckled, glancing over at your high-waisted skinny jeans and cropped knit jumper folded neatly on a chair.

“I think that can be arranged.” Roger grinned at you, and you were struck with yet another wave of disbelief. Roger Taylor was going to lend you come of his iconic clothes.

After spending a couple of hours going through Roger’s clothes, which was your absolute dream, you finally settled on a pair of pants that were a little too short, and a shirt that was slightly too tight across the chest. You tried to spice up the outfit with a few of Roger’s necklaces, much to his dismay.

“Do I look okay?” you asked when you stepped out, twirling around with your arms out.

Roger, standing with a pile of clothes in his arms that you had rejected, furrowed his brows and looked you up and down. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight; he was taking his job as your stylist very seriously.

“You’ll almost fit in,” he said, “although, the shirt is too tight,” he finished bluntly, gesturing to your chest. You folded your arms instinctively.

“Don’t worry, I won’t look at your boobs.” You frowned at this. Was that meant to make you feel better? Why did you feel slightly disappointed?

“Um, thanks?” you scoffed. “What should I do with my hair?” you tugged on each of your French braids. Roger walked towards you without warning, and pulled out your hair ties, running his fingers through your hair.

“Just leave it loose.” He said hoarsely, his face dangerously close to yours. Your heart was beating rapidly, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was biting his lip in concentration, his eyes squinting as he adjusted your hair. It took everything in you to not lean into his touch; his fingers were so delicate. As he pushed a strand of hair out of your face, his eyes met yours.

“Perfect,” he almost whispered, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You knew you should pull away. You knew this would get way too complicated. Your rationality was telling you to snap out of it. But as his hands smoothly came to rest around your neck, bringing you closer, something else entirely was driving your actions.  Just as you began to lean in, he pulled away, clearing his throat loudly.

“Let me get you a coat,” he said, quickly rushing away from you. You bit your lip, cheeks flaming. You were humiliated. What were you thinking, trying to kiss him? He obviously wasn’t attracted to you; the weird, pathetic crazy time-traveller. You didn’t even belong here anyway, how could you possibly think he would want you? Your eyes began to well up, you just had to get out of there.

As you quickly began to gather your clothes and phone, furiously wiping the tears from your eyes, Roger returned with a fur coat in his arms.

“Here, this should fit – wait, what’s wrong?” he asked, realising your state.

“I’m just gonna go. I’m so sorry to have invaded your life like this, you shouldn’t have to deal with my weird ass problems. Thank you for everything. It was nice meeting you, I guess. I’ll never forget you,” you rambled, becoming increasingly embarrassed, trying to walk past him. He gently placed his hands on your upper arms, turning you to face him.

“Hey, hey, I don’t have to help you, okay? I want to. If you’ll let me.” he said, a surprisingly vulnerable look on his face.

“But, I’m burdening you too much! You can’t have me holding you back from living your normal life. You don’t want me clinging to your side like some kind of….” You paused, struggling to find the right words in your frazzled state. “Some kind of leech. I mean, I’m just annoying. For God’s sake, we have nothing in common! I’m technically young enough to be your daughter!”

Roger laughed softly. “Okay, first of all, you’re not a leech. And yes, it’s weird that you’re from the future, and I’ll probably never wrap my head around it, but so what? We shouldn’t get along, but we do.” You hoped he couldn’t notice your blush at this.

“And, lastly,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his face, “the thought of you being my daughter is gross, but me being your daddy on the other hand…”

“Oh my god, Roger! No!” you couldn’t help but laugh, as you rapidly shook your head. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not; you secretly hoped he wasn’t.

“So, do you still wanna come to rehearsal?” he asked, all joking aside.

You sighed, hoping you weren’t being a burden. “Okay, give me that then,” you grabbed the coat off him, pulling it on.

“Do I look normal?” you asked.

“No,” he smirked, and you raised your eyebrows at him. “In a good way, though. Come on,” he said, grabbing your hand. You tried to ignore the jolts of electricity you felt from this sweet gesture. You never thought simply holding hands with someone would give you so many butterflies.