#as something reserved only for romantic relationships whether they're of the same sex or otherwise

[arospec-daybook]

People should stop assuming that everyone draws the same line between friendship and romance. The list of what is 'acceptable' and 'unacceptable' to do in friendships should only exist for people who decide to set those boundaries for themselves, not for everyone else to feel obligated to use it and blindly apply those rules to their own friendships. Everyone should have the freedom of building their friendships in a way that makes them happy and fulfilled and no one should have a say in it except the people involved in that friendship.

Hugging, cuddling, hand-holding, any form of intimacy, kissing, (platonic) dates, getting married, having sex, sharing the same bed etc. are not the acts exclusively reserved for romantic relationships. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just too used to these acts being classified as romantic and therefore has a hard time believing you would do these things with someone you're 'just friends' with. For this reason, they think they have the right to tease you and convince you that you're just in denial because these should be clear signs you want more than friendship with that person.

The worst thing of all is that they actually say these things with so much confidence and enthusiasm, because they think that you just don't want to admit it or are yet to realise that your feelings are romantic. And again, the reason why they're ever so excited about your feelings possibly being romantic is because, according to them, these feelings are more valuable than anything that they consider platonic feelings to be.

I honestly wish I was exaggerating but I genuinely see people acting this way a bit too often. I haven't personally experienced this but I have still randomly been asked multiple times by my acquaintances if I had a crush on someone and regardless of saying no every time, they would never believe me and try to make me admit it. Whenever I was deep in thought they would ask me if I was in love, I would say no and they would start to tease me again because apparently, no means yes and I'm just too shy to admit it. So even when there is no other person you're acting 'suspicious' with, people would still assume these things and it wouldn't even cross their mind that it's wrong and that it might even make the other person uncomfortable.

No matter what you do, you can't stop people from believing whatever they want to believe. But even though it might be true that many won't respect or understand your relationships, that shouldn't make you change anything about them or yourself to please those people. Don't let them make you doubt yourself or question the validity of your relationships. The things that you know that you want can never be wrong just because others don't also want these things.

Furthermore, whether you want or do not want to do these commonly perceived as romantic acts with your friends, that still isn't what determines the value of that friendship. Doing these acts is not what makes it not 'just friends', it's your appreciation and devotion to that friendship that makes it valuable and worthy of respect. On a side note, having intense and profound feelings for your friends is also not something that necessarily makes your love for them 'more romantic' and you deserve to be respected and believed for that too.

One more important thing I want to mention is that qprs deserve this same respect and are just as likely to be treated as 'not worthy enough' of these acts as they're very often seen as 'just friendship'. People who say this disrespect both friendship and qprs at once - by saying that qprs are no different from friendships, they deny the existence of qprs and believe that they serve no purpose. And by saying 'just friendship' they're implying that both friendships and qprs are, again, less meaningful than romantic relationships. The funny thing is that there is a very important difference between them but many don't care enough to educate themselves and instead just decide to make these comments that make absolutely no sense.

Lastly, I want to mention that all relationships are of equal value. Many people might prefer romantic relationships (with sex or without it), some might prefer purely sexual relationships, some people prefer friendships and some prefer qprs. Some people prefer engaging in polyamory (of whatever kind) and some prefer to not define their relationships. We all have our personal preferences but none of these relationships is inherently superior and should be treated with respect regardless of the ones we personally value and understand the most. Long story short, everyone should have the freedom of creating, defining and prioritizing their own relationships but also be aware that others have just as much of that freedom.