#amatopunk

[delphiniumjoy]

You’ve heard of hopeless romantic? I’m a hopeless platonic

[genderqueerdykes]

happy pride to polyamorous people, non-monogamists, relationship anarchists, swingers, people who follow to multiple models of love, people in kink families/houses, and anyone else who feels their love and the way they conduct their life does not suit the amatonormative "one partner for life" model. i hope you have an amazing time loving and being loved and enjoying life

[aro-barrel]

one of the first things any aro wants to know on their journey of discovery is, “what the fuck is romantic love?” so we end up reading alloromantic accounts of romance, just so we can try to understand. and it’s often a failed journey, simply because people describe different experiences or describe sensations that don’t necessarily equate to romantic attraction. sure, people get a warm fuzzy feeling when they look at their spouse, but alloplatonics might describe their platonic feelings the same. and sure, people are struck with a desire to hold someone close and kiss them, but is that really exclusive to romance? after a while, it becomes clear. love filled with subjectivity.

the question then becomes, what do we do with subjectivity? it’s the first step in disassembling "love." when we choose to investigate further, we may come to realize the subjectivities are (too often) conveniently erased to suit popular notions of love—these stem from dominant depictions of love that don’t reflect reality or practice. put simply: people are told how their love is. yes, they're told how to love, but there is the very real assumption that the same feelings underlie every expression of romantic love, no matter who you are. it's in all the tv shows and books, it's parroted by well-meaning people who wish for your happiness, it's sliced ragged until it's a narrow, "correct" form. but no one loves that singular way, even if they warp their own experiences to fit the narrative. if "love" is pared down, concentrated into an impossibly specific expression, we get awful tunnel vision when we try to conceptualize it. the lived, subjective experiences of love elude us.

so as aromantics, we take the abandoned subjectivities and play around with them. we might attempt to separate components of "love" and poke them with a stick, dissect them, take parts out, Frankenstein them. we might heave "love" into a jumbo garbage bin forever or build our own thing from scratch. when people write of love as a law of nature, we tear it to fucking shreds. there are no rules, it's not a sacred thing, not immutable. we fuck around with "love" on purpose. we carve our own space in a society that insists on myopia.

[thatqueergarbagerat]

Me then: I don't understand why other aros complain about fandom so much, it can't be that bad

Me now, crawling out of fandom covered in blood: I see

[murielsbottombitch]

the progressive leaving people's body when they hear about mspec gays, he/him lesbians, she/her gays, multigender people, oriented aroaces, xenogenders or any other "weird" queer label:

y'all care so much about queer people until we aren't queer in a way that aligns with your binary world view

[mlp-friendship-isnt-magic]

What challenging amatonormativity is:

Emphasizing that there are more types of relationships than just romance

Spreading positivity for people who choose to remain single

Explaining how platonic relationships can be just as deep and meaningful as romantic ones

Deromanticizing actions like hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy

Talking about the ways that society devalues friendships in favor of romance

What challenging amatonormativity isn’t:

Claiming that friendship is so societally devalued that there’s no way aplatonics can face discrimination or stigma for being friendless

Accusing alloromantic aplatonics of being inherently amatonormative because they care more about their partners than friendship

Claiming that people are faking being aplatonic to get out of accusations of amatonormativity

Implying that you must love your friends and be friends with your romantic partners

Associating aplatonicism with aromanticism because you can’t comprehend someone who’s interested in romance but not friendship

All of these are things I have seen. This is not how to go about your activism. Don’t forget aplatonics, especially alloromantic ones.

[corvihound]

fuck yes loveless aros. fuck yes romo aros. fuck yes heartless aros. fuck yes alloaros. fuck yes aroaces. fuck yes non-SAM aros. fuck yes romance repulsed aros. fuck yes amatopunk aros. fuck yes loveflux aros. fuck yes aros. we’re all so cool.

[www-pinkhearse]

Actually y’all should get to see this too

[intersexfairy]

it's okay. you don't have to feel love. love isn't the point of it all. there's nothing wrong with you, and there's more to this world than love. i and so many others are glad you exist. just the way you are.

please don't judge yourself. advocate for yourself when others are mean to you, and surround yourself with people who support you. you deserve better. i promise.

[neopronouns]

image id: nine square images. each one has two flags in the background, with the amatopunk flag on the right side. in order, the flag on the left side of each image is aplatonic, heartless aro, afamilial, nonaesthetic, loveless aro, asensual, aqueerplatonic, aemotional, and atertiary.

each image has all-caps white text with a thin black outline over it. in order, they read: 'aplatonics belong in amatopunk', 'heartless aros belong in amatopunk', 'afamilials belong in amatopunk', 'nonaesthetics belong in amatopunk', 'loveless aros belong in amatopunk', 'asensuals belong in amatopunk', 'aqueerplatonics belong in amatopunk', 'aemotionals belong in amatopunk', and 'atertiaries belong in amatopunk'. end id.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

some amatopunk + aspec identities affirmation edits for anon to remind folks that your amatopunk posts should include more than just aros and aces!

dni link

[arology]

i think qprs are cool :) waverships are cool. People who call each other partner / girlfriend / arofriend / etc but don’t call it being “ in a relationship “ or dating are cool. People who aren’t blood-related and who call each other family because of the comfort they find in each other. People who don’t want to label their relationship in any way no matter what it looks like from the outside or feels like from the inside. People who don’t call the people in their friendships “ friends.” People who mix and match relationship words to describe each other and their relationship. People who use more personal , creative terms to describe friends and partners.

Because thats what a relationship is : how people relate to each other.

[fagshag]

oh btw if your being amatopunk doesn't include or consider aplatonic and afamilial people then you are not, in fact, amatopunk 👍

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Friendly reminder that just because someone doesn't want a relationship doesn't automatically mean they're aspec. Likewise, just because someone *wants* a relationship doesn't mean they're allo.

Sincerely, a Grayaro Aceflux individual who's tired of people thinking that wanting to be single = automatically aspec.

[delphiniumjoy]

Thinking about the unexpected overlap between aromanticism and polyamory, and I have a theory.

Interacting with aromanticism and the aro community invites critique of all of the relationship norms that are expected of amatonormativity and "polite society." And the subsequent relationship anarchy makes us ask why a relationship of any kind has to exist between only two people.

Because why shouldn't I live in a big house with a bunch of my closest friends? Rent is ridiculous nowadays as it is, and who really cares if some of these friends are romantically or sexually involved and others might not be. We can communicate like adults, and the most important thing is we all care about each other.

I am deeply connected to all of these people. I intend to have whatever kind of relationships with all of them.

It's found family in its purest form, a diy community.

[varii-corvid]

had a dream about a being that was so asexual that they were actually a void singularity being that drained the reality around them of romoallo traits and overpowered them with an encompassing energy. it was like staring into an awestriking blackhole. needless to say I feel very aspec right now.

shout out to all aspec void singularity beings who drain the atmosphere of romoallo traits. also this is a coining post because yes

Aroacevortex

a term related to feeling as if one drains alloromantic energy from reality due to being aroace

[daybringersol]

starting to think romantic attraction is socially constructed in the same way that gender is. either that or im fully aro. which is possible. but also i feel all the feelings that alloromantic people describe (except the butterfly in stomach thing, but like i might just be too autistic to interpret that metaphor in the right way), i just dont see what makes it romantic. its literally just being anxious and obsessive about someone. ive been like that for friends, foes, family, literally every kind of platonic relationships ive had. im confused and tbh i think fully allo people arent confused enough about it.