#ash watches crap on netflix

[georgecostanzaatemysoup]

The Perfect Date...

So, basically, this movie is about a kid named Brooks Rattigan:

They say his name about 50 times in this movie, so it’d be kind of hard NOT to remember it.

Anyway, he’s a poor kid who wants desperately to get into Yale. Kind of like Rory and her need to get into Harvard during the first 3 seasons of Gilmore Girls, but where Rory was quirky Brooks has to be self-centered or else the movie just won’t work... I guess.

The problem with Brooks’ dream is despite his good grades and extra curricular activities, he is unable to answer the one question I’m sure all of us have had problems answering:

Typical high school movie stuff... and high school stuff in general. If we’re being honest, I’m almost 30 and I can’t answer this question.

Anyway, Brooks has best friend named Murph:

Let’s just say, Murph is the reason I sat through this whole movie. He is computer smart (he’s also dyslexic and plans to write his college’s admission essay about this, which is probably one of the most interesting things that happened in this movie and wasn’t mentioned after he offhandedly said something early on... which, you know, seems to happen a lot) and has a crush on Tuna Melt Guy :

Yeah. Tuna Melt Guy, as he is called the entire movie (the guy doesn’t even get a name which is a problem in itself), orders the same sandwich every day (I guess) and their story is basically a b side, not really touched on, but we assume they end up together by the end type of deal.

There’s also this guy named... Brad the Stereotypical Douche (he has an actual name, but I can’t remember it):

Basically, Brad (or whatever his name was) made a deal with his uncle to take his cousin to a formal at her school, but his girlfriend Madison is supposedly home alone and he doesn’t want to do it. SO, Brooks volunteers because he a) needs the money for Yale and b) really wants to drive Brad’s Douche Mobile (I thought I took a screenshot but I didn’t, so just picture any stereotypical “douchey” cars and you’re golden) just once in his poor boy life.

Brad’s cousin, Celia Liberman:

Who I was kinda hoping WOULDN’T end up with Brooks (we’ll get to that) is that stereotypical “tough” girl who stomps around in her boots and throws a fit when asked to wear a dress (i.e me circa 2005-ish).

So, Brooks takes her to her dance at the most pretentious looking school I have ever fucking seen:

And they do some bad dancing (because the quirky, “tough” girl needs to be a bad dancer... I’m also a bad dancer, but I wouldn’t call myself quirky) and Brooks happens to see HER:

The girl of his “dreams” I guess. I can’t remember her name, but I’ll just call her Veronica because that’s who she plays in Riverdale.

So Veronica, apparently, has a very rich dad (according to Celia, he’s basically sleazy Batman). She’s so rich, in fact, she has actual valets at her house parties:

And she lives here (more on that later).

While on his “date” with Celia, she offhandedly mentions he should make an app where he pretends to date girls who need a date. She’s joking, but Brooks takes it seriously and asks his computer smart bestie Murph to help him make an app:

The app is basically GrubHub but for dates. Basically someone sends Brooks a message asking him to go on “dates” with them and they get to decide his personality, his outfits, and whether or not they need him to talk or listen (man, where was this shit when I was in high school) They set it up like ANYONE can use it, but only girls do in this movie (which it’s fine... I guess?).

So, Brooks starts getting messages and becomes who these girls need him to be. A salsa dancer, a cowboy, a douchebag... just whatever they needed he would do it. So, in a way, it’s not a terrible premise, but it starts to get to his head.

He basically starts pushing Murph out of the whole App process (you know, the creator of the App) and it gets to the point where they don’t really hang out anymore (again, typical high school movie plot), but again we’ll get to that in a bit.

I should probably mention Brooks’ dad:

Mister Rattigan (I can’t remember his first name) is a part time teacher and writer, but he hasn’t written anything in a while (not since his wife left him and started a new family with a new guy). He really wants Brooks to go to the college he works at, but Brooks is deadset on Yale. Which, in retrospect, knowing that your kid wanted to go there you’d think he would have been a bit more supportive.

He’s not a bad dad, not by a long shot, but he’s the typical movie parent who is quirky but wants something for his son that his son doesn’t want (until the end when he decides to go to the college his dad wants him to go to and that’s after his dad gives him a speech about how he’ll support his decision).

So, yeah, moving on. Celia calls Brooks out of the blue to ask him if he wants to pretend to date her to make her crush Franklin jealous. She uses his crush on Veronica to get him to agree. He readily does and tells her about his app.

She makes fun of it, because of course she does, on the way to the party and that’s when they end up at sleazy Batman’s house with the private valet company? I guess?

👆 Franklin 👆, of course is a pretentious hipster because he HAS to be otherwise how would Celia know that she belongs with Brooks and NOT this guy. He basically goes on one of those stereotypical music snob rants about how vinyl is the only way to appreciate music and Celia agrees because he’s cute. This I can relate to because in high school I too went along with stuff because someone happened to be cute.

So, Celia and Brooks start to “date” to make their crushes jealous. Celia also asks Franklin out because they need an “excuse” to break up. While this is happening, Brooks is supposed to be getting close to Veronica because they really don’t have any scenes together UNTIL his and Celia’s “break up,” but that doesn’t happen for a bit.

While “dating” Celia reveals that her dad is conveniently friends with the Dean of Yale and offers to ask him to talk to the Dean about meeting with Brooks. He agrees because OF COURSE he does and the meeting goes well because apparently Brooks researched the guy and lied about how one of his “interests” just so happened to coincide with the dean’s interest. Because that’s normal... I guess.

Afterward, they go and hangout with Murph who commented earlier that week about how he and Brooks weren’t hanging out as much anymore since they made the App. Despite making plans with Murph, and telling him he would not break them for the the App, Brooks does it anyway pissing Murph off in the process. And also dismissing Murph’s worries that he messed up with Tuna Melt guy when he pre made his sandwich (don’t worry, he didn’t, but again this isn’t even touched on much after this until the very end).

Needless to say, adding more drama to the story, Murph switches shifts (at the job they both share) with another dude and calls Brooks a “selfish prick” so yeah, and what pisses me off about this entire fight it takes until almost the very end for Brooks to do anything about it (on screen) which is really fucking annoying, but I won’t get into it.

Anyway, on her date with Franklin, Celia realizes they have very little in common and decides to stop whatever it was they were going to become because of that AND the fact that he reveals himself to be the graffiti artist she doesn’t like (her and Brooks have this entire conversation early on in the movie about how “Trashbag” is probably a white, overly privileged rich boy, and it turns out she was right):

Her bad date makes her “realize” she really likes Brooks (you know, like any typical high school movie... of course someone has to catch “feelings”), but he’s oblivious and doesn’t see that (which makes me wonder how these two end up together, but that’s... not important right now).

His obliviousness aside, they decide to go along with their epic “break up.” But Brooks, idiot as he is, decides to bring in some real truths that Celia had trusted him with and because of that she slapped the shit out of him:

He, being the oblivious idiot that he is, doesn’t catch on and thought seh was acting. Sending her a text that basically said “👍” and goes after the girl he “wants.”

Veronica:

The “perfect” girl... according to Brooks. Who, not surprising” was willing to makeout with him mere SECONDS after his “break up” with Celia... okay.

But, like all of these movies, the “perfect” girl dumps his ass when she realizes he’s been letting girls buy his time to go on dates with them. She’s also (rightly so) upset that he lied to her earlier about where he’s from (Celia told Veronica he was from... some uppity town when he really wasn’t and I guess he never bothered to tell her the truth).

So, yeah, Veronica wants nothing to do with him as does Celia, but Brooks tries to dance with Celia anyway (finally realizing, I guess, that he actually DOES like her at the dance AFTER Veronica walks away.

But Celia turns him down by telling him “I am not your back up” which made me go “oh, maybe these two WON’T end up together” (I was wrong).

So, Brooks has no one and he’s really sad, and he does that typical high school movie thing where he lies in bed, moping, trying to get Celia or Murph to answer his texts (they don’t.)

The next day at school, Murph and he do talk and he apologizes for pushing Murph away, and they make up. WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN SHOWN ON SCREEN SINCE THE SUB SHOP SCENE!!! OH MY GOD!!

Anyway, here’s them making up:

Also, “tough” girl Celia has a moment with her parents where she basically goes all John Mox on her mother and basically says, “I don’t WANT your life.” You, know as you do, but unlike Mox hers ends with a Liberman family hug:

I do not take good screenshots...

Anyway, after all of this, Brooks is seen finally writing his college admissions essay, but instead of writing to Yale (like the movie makes us believe) he decides to go to UConn like his dad wanted (plus he had a full ride so, I mean, Yale or not that’s what every kid wants when entering college) he writes a “admissions” letter to Celia basically asking her if they can date.

Yeah.

So, yeah, they start dating (as do Murph and Tuna Melt guy? I think?) or it’s implied they start dating. They kiss at least, so I’m going to assume they start dating (but they’ll probably break up six or seven times because Brooks and Celia seem like THAT couple).

It was an alright movie, I’ll admit, but it was also a typical high school flick. So, take it or leave it I guess.

Oh, one more thing, I still don’t know if he was able to answer the question regarding who he is, I stopped paying attention... mostly. Yeah.

[imthebadguyyy]

Loved your first fic of Lewis!💛

Can you make one where Lewis Hamilton and Y/N have a fight and have been living separately and then Lewis comes to meet Y/N one evening and makes an excuse that his toothbrush is with Y/N? And then Lewis confronts Y/N that he knows Y/N still love him but won't admit?

..

* I know this is a very specific prompt. Bare with me. I just wanted more Angst/ Fluff with Longing for each other and Deep feelings and keep it Non-explicit. *

A/N - I'm so glad you liked the fic 😊

We're Meant To Be

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (female)

Fandom - F1

Summary - After a messy fight, you don't know where your relationship stands. But when love is that strong, an argument can't stand in the way.

Warnings - Angst, fighting, swearing

Angered shouts. Tears of frustration. White noise. Desperate pleads. And then silence. That's what your neighbours would describe if they were asked to describe what they had heard from your house. An argument that seemed to have started over nothing, had blown up into a full scale fight. When had it become this bad? Only yesterday, you two had had a date night at home, with movies and wine. Everything was perfect. But then, suddenly everything seemed to go down a downward spiral.

Your relationship with your boyfriend had always been calm, it had been the type of love where you just loved each other with all your hearts, where fights were an incredibly rare appearance. You were both working, and he was away at races most of the time, so usually, you didn't waste time fighting, something that was an unnecessary waste of time in your opinion. But then, something had just switched for a second. It was after the race in Baku, and it hadn't gone well. Lewis had been heartbroken, after coming P15, and had heavily berated himself for it. To make him feel better, you had taken a couple of days off work. to just be with him and give him company to feel better.

It had been on the third day of you spending time with him that he had made an offhand comment that had struck a nerve with you. "I wish you could be there at race weekends more often. It's like you don't care enough about the races" The comment had pissed you off, to put it lightly. "What do you mean, I don't care about the races? I watch all of them Lewis, I'm always supporting you" you had practically seethed at him. "Don't get all huffy, darling, all I'm saying is that the other girlfriends and wives come quite often, but you only come to like three races a year" he had said, already regretting his words. "Maybe that's because I have a job?! I work for my living, and I love my job. I don't have time to fly around the world to accompany you to your races, and its damn hard to get leave off of work anyway, I was lucky to even get a week off of work, and you want me to be there every weekend? It's not possible for a working person, Lewis" you had said, anger bubbling in your voice, pulling away from him to sit up straight. "I know, I just meant-" "No, I know what you meant. I'm sorry I can't always be there, and don't you think I feel bad when I can't be there for you ?" "I know you do, I shouldn't have brought this up. But can you come for the next race?" He had asked, not looking at your eyes, regretting the answer. "I... can't. I have a really big meeting coming up and-" "And you can't come I get it"

And he had just left. You had felt your heart shatter, hating yourself for being so harsh with him. But it was true, you were a very hardworking person, and you had worked damn hard to get to where you were, successful at your job, one of the best in your field. It took years of hard work and perseverance and you were proud of it. But a part of you also knew that Lewis didn't deserve any of the crap you had given him, and you also knew that he was right, the other guys had their partners to support them during various race weekends, and you only showed up to one or two of them. He was well in his rights to tell you that. And you hated how it had ended.

You all alone, in your house, in a cold and empty bed, in a quiet house with silence that was much, much more deafening than words ever could be. It was heartbreaking, to see a future you had dreamed of just shattering in front of your eyes, dreams of having a family of your own with him fluttering away like wisps of smoke, the burning flames leaving only a heartbroken mess of a human being behind. Was that what it felt like? To be burned and left to turn to ashes, when a person that knew exactly how to ignite your flame just left you to burn away? To have someone who could ignite your all consuming passion, and turn you to putty in his hands, who could mould you back into shape, leave you to melt into a liquid through his fingers to just lay on the ground, a sad, broken, person.

And here you were, lying on your bed, the sheets that had warmed the both of you on cold nights, or been home to your pleasure laced activities now offering only some of the warmth it used to, cold and unforgiving, as you turned your pillow for the fifteenth time, neither side cool anymore. Even the pillow didn't want to forgive you, the sweat settling in on your neck again, beads of sweat running down your forehead again. The pulled curtains shielded you from the over bright sunshine, your damp hair sticking to your shoulders and neck. Your eyes, red rimmed and tired, shut to protect them from the faint light in the room, the tiredness not permitting you to even open them to look in the dim light of your room.

Somewhere near you, your phone buzzed again, for what felt like the hundredth time in three days. It had been three days, three long, painful days since you and Lewis had fought and not seen each other, and those 72 hours had ripped a part of your soul out. You had spent those three days in bed, your leave days still saving you from getting out of bed and dragging your body to office. Was your relationship over? Were you never going to meet the love of your life, the man you were destined to be with again? Sighing, you rolled over, pushing the damp strands of hair away from your face. Using strength you didn't know you had, you pulled yourself up, feeling your head spin.

Slowly, you made yourself walk into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bread and popping it into the toaster. Then you splashed some water on your tired face, shuffling over to the bathroom to brush your teeth. After finishing your toast, you peeled off the sweaty shirt you had pulled on when he had left, realising with a pang that it was Lewis's nightshirt you were wearing, a purple one he loved. Dropping it into the laundry basket, you turned on the shower, stepping under the warm shower. The warm spray untangled the knots in your matted hair, as you soaped your body and hair, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as memories of your showers together with Lewis came flooding back, as heartbroken sobs wracked your form again.

An hour after the not so great shower, you found yourself in another shirt belonging to Lewis, the bed in fresh sheets and covers, your pillow finally cool on both sides. You were clean and refreshed, albeit heartbroken, waiting on your takeout Chinese food and ice cream. Just as you lay there, scrolling through your Netflix account to watch some episode of FRIENDS to help you keep your spirits up, the doorbell rang. The thought of flavourful Chinese food and ice cream was enough to lure you out of your bed again, bare feet padding across the wooden floor to go to the door. You grabbed your wallet, opening the door, to find not your dinner, but Lewis, at the door, in one of your favourite sweatshirts on him. Did the clothes make you feel better? No. In fact, it just shattered your heart further.

"What are you doing here?" was the predictable line that left your lips. "I um, I left my toothbrush at your place. Can I have it back?"

"I beg your pardon? You left your toothbrush? You came back for a toothbrush, but not for me? Is that all I mean to you?!" you said, anger and a hint of sadness creeping into your tone. "You do mean a lot to me" he replied in a sigh. "Look, I didn't actually leave my toothbrush. That was a lie, and wow, I'm just realising how stupid that sounded, I'm sorry" His words were met with silence. The sadness in your eyes said it all. You were upset. Of course you were. "I don't have any toothbrushes except mine, so please leave" Before you could shut the door in his face, he pushed it back open, stepping into the house on his own.

"No do not come in here, please just get out!"

"No" was his frustrating reply. "What do you mean no? I said get out of my house!" "Not until we stop fighting and talk about what the hell happened!" Lewis yelled back, matching your tone. "Why the hell do you care?!" "Because I still love you damn it, I always have, and this stupid fight cannot, and should not break us apart!"

Your burst into tears. Sliding down against the wall, you buried your face in your hands, the sweatshirt arms covering your face as you sobbed. In an instant, Lewis was walking across to you, strong muscled arms wrapping around your shaking frame. "I'm sorry" you managed to blubber out, "I thought it over, and I don't go to support as often as I feel I should, and I'm sorry"

"No my darling, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that to you. You work so hard baby, and I'm so proud of you. And I know that you try to come whenever you can, and I love you so much for that. I'm sorry, and I never shouldv'e asked you to prioritize my passion over yours" rubbing your shoulders softly, he let his chin rest on top of yours. Sniffling, you let your head rest on his shoulder. The soft hiccups that left your lips broke his heart even further, something he hadn't thought possible.

The last 3 days had been pure hell for him. He had missed you, God, he had missed you. He had missed having you in his bed in the morning, tracing patterns on your bare skin. He had missed leaving kisses on your soft cheeks and hands and on your cute nose, missed smiling against your skin as you giggled. He had missed you playing with Roscoe, the doggo following the both of you around the house. Even Roscoe had missed you, sniffing around the house for your familiar smell, cocking his ears up and looking at his dad questioningly.

He had missed your perfume, the scent filling his senses, intoxicating him in the best way possible. He missed you curling up to him, playing with his hair or tracing his tattoos, leaving little kisses around the compass tattoo, tracing his 'Still I Rise' tattoo, missing the goosebumps that would rise on his skin when you traced Michelangelo's Pieta on his skin, and kissed the family and faith tattoos on his sternum. He missed you everywhere, and it had taken three days for him to realize that your presence grounded him. Your presence was something he needed, not to survive, he had done that before, he needed you for his happiness.

And having you in his arms, crying over what he had said? It shattered his heart. And he wanted to just fix everything, to bring everything back to normal. Stroking your hair softly, he kept his lips pressed to your ear, whispering soft "I love you's" and "I'm so sorry baby's" and "I'm here for you's" into your ear, feeling his heart lighten ever so softly when your sniffles decreased and your grip on yourself relaxed.

Moving up to meet his eyes, you moved so you were at eye level with him. "So we're both idiots who are sorry?" You murmured, running your hand up to his collarbone. With a soft laugh, he nodded taking your hand into his, rubbing his thumb over yours. "Fighting sucks" he mumbled pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "It really does" your replied, moving so you were straddling his waist. "Let's never do that again, and let's just make a schedule. We can figure out when you can come and visit me, and I'll just deal with the fact that my ethereal girlfriend won't grace the race tracks every race weekend-" "It all sounds lovely but all I want right now is your lips on mine" you interrupted, bringing a smirk to his lips.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to yours, hand moving to maneuver your head closer to his, your hands moving up to cup his cheek, as your traced his jawline, his thumb running over your waist. Breaking apart softly, he let his forehead rest on yours. "I love you" he whispered softly. "I love you too" you mumbled back. Before he could lean back in, the doorbell rang again.

"Damn it. That's my chinese food and ice cream" you sighed, smiling when he laughed. "Was it that bad?" He asked, letting you get up to open the door. "Like you wouldn't believe it"

After getting the food and paying for it, you set two plates on the table and put enough on your plates. "You know what the worst part was about fighting?" "What was?" "Not waking up to you tracing my tattoos" "Aww that's what you missed?" You giggled, walking up to kiss the tattoos on his hands. "I really did. You're cute and adorable and you're all mine. That's why I don't wanna fight. Let's keep it that way" "I love you so much" "I love you too"

***

A/N - I'm so, so sorry I took so long to write this, I really suck at angst, and I hope this is what you wanted, the last thing I want to do is give you subpar work 😭😭

Anyways, have a great day 💙

[queenofbaws]

Happy Saturday! Hope you’re well! For this lovely weekend prompt, I’d like a sweet Jossam debate mixed with a dash of Chrashley in the ancient tale of “What should we watch on Netflix? Josh, Chris, if you freaks out in Hannibal one more time I’m taking Sam and leaving” because I feel like Ash is not a fan lol thank you!!

“No,” Ashley said and just kept saying, “Nonononononono, if you hit that next episode button I swear to God - ”

In a move that seemed way too choreographed to be anything but practiced a million times over, Josh twisted to keep the remote well out of Ashley’s reach, Chris half-scooting, half-lying across the floor to form a human barrier; Sam couldn’t help but snort at the scene.

“We just got into the fucking Verger arc, Ash, and if you make me miss the rest of Mason’s performance, I swear to sweet baby Jesus on high that - ”

Ashley, unsurprisingly, was having none of it: “A guy ate HIS OWN FACE in the last episode! Your girlfriend’s a freaking vegan, Josh - are you seriously going to keep forcing her - AND ME! - to watch this crap?!”

Clearing her throat quietly, Sam raised a couple fingers like the shy kid in class hoping to be called on, saying, “For what it’s worth, I’d greatly appreciate watching something more like, um, Happy Feet maybe.”

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[sometimesrosy]

I just saw a comment that said “The cycle can’t be broken as long as we’re here” is the meaning behind the whole show like it was supposed to be this way all along and is this great philosophical ending and I’m just amazed some people managed to derive meaning out of a final season like that that didn’t even FIT with the rest of the show. The message the show was telling the whole time? No! I’m happy I’m starting other shoes now. Just fell in love with Cursed on Netflix. Whole season great!

“the cycle can’t be broken as long as we’re here?”

That is a load of crap. That’s not profound, that’s defeatist.  And absolutely NOT the concept of the first six seasons, considering we had multiple characters breaking the cycle. And yes, it was hard and, yes, it was slow, but it was working. 

The cycle can’t be broken because WE’RE the problem is a grimdark theme, and tells us all to give up hope and to stop trying because nothing is ever going to get better anyway.

And it’s not the theme of seasons 1-6. In which we can “rise from the ashes,” and “make life worth living,” and “get knocked down get up again.”

Something CHANGED in that last season and I just refuse to erase the first six to shove them into the grimdark, hopeless box that they gave us in the end.

YES Jasper said humanity was the illness and we shouldn’t bother.... but that was contrasted with RAVEN and Harper, who were ALSO struggling with the pain of life and whether it was worth it, who both chose life, who chose to keep on finding, who found things and people and paths WORTH living, who found a better life, who never gave up. 

You cannot say that Jasper was right and we should just give up when you had a whole season contrasting Jasper with people who didn’t give up, one of whom had a happy ending and the other of whom “saved” humanity with what she learned.

The meaning of season 7 is this: Do not switch stories in the last act. If you’re telling THIS story (hope for humanity, be the good guys, Clarke is the hero, The head and the heart, together, Bellarke,) THEN YOU DAMN WELL FINISH YOUR STORY. You don’t give up on it in the middle and say, ha ha no, there’s no hope, the hero is not the hero, bellamy who? there’s no point in fighting just give up and stay knocked down will you? you can have a pretend life on a beach with all your buddies but no one you love because love is death.)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? (not you. JR.)

Cursed on Netflix? I’ll put it on my list. I’m watching The Boys on Amazon Prime right now. I’m enjoying it. THAT’S how you subvert a hero/villain trope. You don’t make the hero heroic the whole time until the end where you yoink her away and say ‘nope she was the villain the whole time, you misinterpreted.’

Bitch, I have hundreds of thousands of words defending Clarke as the hero. You want to try again? (again not you. JR.)

[watch-grok-brainrot]

hey!! i'm back again with another ask! (god please tell me if i'm annoying? i just want to send you as many asks as i can but if i get too annoying, pls tell me off) my questions today are, what are your top 3 songs from the cql ost and what tea do you not like? like, is there a tea you don't like? also, is there a tea you like in particular? what cdramas have you watched besides cql?? - ❄🐇

hey snowbunny! you’re not annoying! i really appreciate you being so engaged with the mdzsnetcc event! :D 

cql ost fav songs: the characters songs for jiang cheng, lan xichen, and wei wuxian. they’re all so pretty and so sad. bu wang kinda  annoys me with the epic orchestra thing in the middle and wuji almost makes the cut but it’s just not as depressing as the others. though wei wuxian’s character song does lose points for the duet part that has a female voice and not yibo singing along... alas. 

i don’t like lipton? lol. so most ctc blends i’m meh on... but i don’t add milk and sugar to my tea for the most part so i need something that works well by itself and most ctc teas are made for british style drinking. 

i like many teas in particular. particularly their aroma and texture. some are light and airy and sweet. some are heavy and grounding. some are earthy and warming and smooth. i love so many teas for so many reasons. i can’t even begin to explain. i think high elevation taiwanese oolongs with crisp sweet and floral notes are a style that i will always love and always hold dear to my heart. 

i used to be really into BPAL (black phoenix alchemy lab) because i like the idea of smells carrying memories for people. and i like the idea of being able to differentiate smells and remember how things blend together to form flavors and then, in extension, feelings. so i got really into bpal -- which is an indie perfume company-- and started collecting samples (imps). in all of that i started getting better at picking out certain smell objects (e.g. rose or orange or honey etc) and really loving how bpal smells different wet in bottle, wet on me, dry on me, and dry at the end of a day. 

and then i realized tea has a lot of those qualities. it tastes different piping hot and kinda hot and warm and cooled. it has layers and dimensions. when you gongfu brew you can almost parse out the layers of flavors and really experience isolated snapshots of the tea as a whole. i liken it to chromatography for the chemistry folk. and in some ways tea became the merging of my nerdy science self and smell obsessed self and my gluttonous self. so it was a good fit. also booze. but booze is less.. socially acceptable to drink 24/7. :P

wow. that got long. oops. 

anyway, cdramas. omg. uh... a lot. i’m chinese so i grew up watching stuff... like i’ve been watching cdramas for a LONG time. (note: i went on a long ramble and i’m kinda sorry so don’t feel obligated to read all of this... ) i watched the mainland china’s version of journey to the west (made in 1986 i think.. go them on video tapes borrowed from idk where in the early 90s... the one episode i wanted to watch the most didn’t work. i was devastated).  and then a lot of wuxia shows -- mostly jin yong stuff. i remember i was 8 or 9 and watched a few eps of condor heroes. my parents finished the show without me. i was pissed. and at some point i watched dream of red mansion and romance of three kingdoms. both classics made into cdramas. and then i remember when zhao wei was in princess pearl. and i also watched 情深深雨蒙蒙 with basically the same cast... and a lot of other wuxia shows that came out around that time..uh.. early 2000s. i remember watching some show with zhou xun in it too around that time... and trying to find more stuff with zhang ziyi. man... zhou xun, zhao wei, and zhang ziyi were and are still all so pretty! and then i watched liu yifei (of live action mulan infamy) back in 2003(?) when she was in a few jin yong novel based show roles. and then um... i kinda got annoyed with the constant remake of those stories so i stopped watching them. but i did enjoy 天龙八部 and 笑傲江湖. seriously, i would watch the crap out of a 笑傲江湖 starring xiao zhan... but the novels were written in the 60s/70s and rather not LGBT friendly so i’m also fine with them never getting remakes... and then there was the meteor garden craze. i watched that, part of teh sequel (which wasn’t very good) and a few shows the actors were in... i really liked the MARS manga and was sad that the taiwanese adaptation of it as a show was meh. and around 2013-2014ish i started watching random crap... uh... like my first time seeing luo yunxi (who plays the white cat master aka chu wanning in hao yi xing / the erha live action) was in 何以笙箫默. and i was so confused by how weirdly they styled the poor man. he did not look good. the stying really emphasized his facial features to make his face look unbalanced. and i binged a few other shows while trying to write my thesis. i don’t remember them all. and then there was NiF and i also watched the Disguiser and some other random stuff as part of that rabbit hole. i thought “when a snail falls in love” was really cute even if the story wasn’t really that good. idk. i now put cdramas on in the bkgd while making gifs. so i’ve “watched” eternal love, ashes of love (DO NOT RECOMMEND. but skip around for luo yunxi being pretty i guess), love o2o. i’m currently seriously watcihng Ever Night. it’s so freaking good and king’s avatar (also on netflix) is my gif making bkgd. i have a soft spot for how pretty yang yang is... yeah. knowing the language helps me get through shows. lol. 

do you watch other cdramas snowbunny?

[springmagpies]

Welcome Back to my Uncle Reacts to AoS--Season 3

It has taken my Uncle months to watch season 3 as his schedule is super busy and what not. But we have finally watched it all and are on to Season 4. Anyway, here are some of his reactions to the third season of Agents of Shield

3x1

*Fitz comes to the lab after his excursion in Morocco* Coulson is like a father waiting in the dark kitchen. Where’ve ya been, Fitz?

*After the Do something scene* Ouch.

Is she on another planet? She’s on another planet. Guys, she’s on another planet!

3x2

He got her back! Oh my god, he got her back. Fitz is the man.

Hunter is the best.

Bobbi is the best.

Fitz is the best.

Oh, Coulson.

*About Jemma* What the hell happened there? What did she eat? She was there months right? Holy shit.

*Fitz sitting by her bed* Oh, Fitz.

3x03

My aunt: you two seem sad. What happened. Steve: Lincoln, Kate. Lincoln killed his friend and he didn’t mean to. And Jemma has ptsd. It was a lot of emotion. My aunt: ...

3x04

Yess May. Great timing. That’s all you needed.

3x05

Dammit, Will is hot.

She’s talking to Fitz? Cute!

3x06

Pauses the show uhh, Andrew turned into lash and kicked some ass. Calling it.

*Later* Called it.

3x07

“He does have a hog face.”  Bwhahahaha. That’s amazing.

Well that episode was emotional. The Fitzsimmons thing was so heart warming. And poor May.

3x09

Ward, you asshole. Why can’t they let Phil be happy.

3x10

Shit that’s not Will.

*At Ward’s death* Finally!

*Wards back* Freaking knew it. God dammit

3x11

What is Fitz 3d printing back there? Cool inhuman conversation but what’s he making?

*Anytime the subtitles are wrong on Netflix* That’s not what she said. That’s not what he said. That’s not what they’re saying.

*Steve understanding the Spanish and knowing what they’re saying without subtitles.* That is not what she said, subtitles.

*About Elena* she’s a badass.

3x12

Thank god for Hunter.

Ward is just creepy as hell. I know that’s not Ward, but it’s his stupid face.

3x13

Amadeus Ravenclaw Hunter. That’s fantastic. Is that really his name? Wait, no. Forget I said that. Ravenclaw is not his name.

Wait, so Bobbi and Hunter are just gone? But they can’t do that. They come back right? They’re the best, they can’t leave.

Mack’s crying the hardest.

That guy that’s supposed to be tailing them is very bad at his job.

Now I’m sad.

3x14

*Mack mentions friends being transferred” Aww, Bobbi and Hunter.

Repeats “It’s a building.” In Scottish accent. *laughs* that’s great.

Uh oh Fitz does not like Daisy’s methods of interrogation. He looks so uncomfortable.

A shotgun ax. Holy shit that’s amazing.

That dudes a hologram! Coulson knew. He’s a genius.

3x15

Holy shit we’re seeing the future.

*Hive melts the business men* Eeww, ugh that’s horrific. Aaah!

*Andrew becomes lash permanently* Oh no! Poor May. That’s so sad.

Wait, I bet you it’s not snow. Bet you it’s ash. *Snow is actually ash* Called it.

*Quinjet vision* That vision is familiar. Where have we seen that? Wait, that was at the beginning! Oh shit, that’s the future! Shit!

3x16

*Young Malick and Nathaniel appear on screen.* Maggie tries not to freak the frick out at Nathaniel so as not to spoil season 7.

Steve: oooh, does his brother get volunteered as tribute or something?

*Daisy explodes the mines in front of James house.* Badass.

*Reveal that Malick betrayed his brother* That’s why Ward had the stone! He knew! He remembers the betrayal! Oof, not looking great for Malick.

I hate Ward. Whatever he is.

Shit! Is he killing Malick daughter! That’s way more brutal than killing Malick! Ooooh, evil.

*Lincoln’s past is explained* See, I’m glad he’s sharing, but how do you bring something like that up in conversation normally. Glad their talking, but I get it.

*Giyera escaping from the containment pod* Fitz, please get away from the guy trying to escape. Please. Oh crap he’s got a seatbelt.

*Mack gets knocked out* Oof, Mack. Poor dude.

*Secret Warriors Assemble* Yes! I’ve got to put the baby to bed but then next episode!

3x17

Sorry Joey, I don’t think you’re going to finish that date. You’ve got to go fight people.

Whoa! Lincoln’s powers got even cooler.

That felt a bit too easy.

*Fitzsimmons flirting* They’re cute.

*Mackelena flirting* He’s speaking Spanish. Kay, that’s sweet.

I don’t think Joey is okay. He did kill that Medusa dude.

*reveal that one of the inhumans are swayed* That’s what he meant by someone on the inside! That’s not good. Now they’re all looking suspicious.

*Fitzsimmons find Malick’s body* Is he dead? Holy shit, was there a bomb! Shit!

“Aren’t you a spy, learn Spanish” Hahahahaha! Yes! That line is genius!

Okay, they are pushing for it to be Lincoln waaaay too hard.

*Fitzsimmons soft kiss in the bunk* *Steve Fist pumps* Yessss!

Uhhh, why is Daisy out of her cell. It’s her! Oh no.

Way to go Lincoln on the character growth. Staying for SHIELD!

Is Daisy going to fly? Oh no, she’s destroying the base. And she ruined Fitzsimmons make out session. And she’s bringing the base down. Also that.

Noooo! That’s it? That cliffhanger! *upset that we have to wait to watch the next episode*

3x18

“It’s risky, and irresponsible” Hahaha, May smiles.

Nice flying May!

*FS talking about sex* “I’ll see you in the quinjet” Hahahahahahahaha. That’s amazing.

*Hive talks* That’s not creepy. You know what happened to the last girl Hive kissed. Daisy run.

“Because all you are is big and strong.” Hahaha, Fitz is all pissy about it. Amazing.

Oof, Lincoln just can’t get Coulson’s approval.

Maggie: Fitz is so handsome Steve: He really is

*FS ending scene* Yessss!!!! Finally!!!

3x19

Inhuman backstory!!

Why are they all such jerks to Lincoln? Like, he just cannot win with Coulson and May. No one is nice to him. Except Fitzsimmons, they’re nice to him. Okay, and Mack.

*Piper is introduced* Red shirts aren’t red shirts! That’s awesome!

Oh, Mack, what are you doing? Please don’t get hurt. Daisy please don’t hurt him. Mack noooo!

Wow, Shield is just struggling on all fronts. Daisy’s missing, Mack’s injured, Lincoln’s sick—Wait no after credit scene?! Dammit!

3x20

Okay, they seriously need to lay off Lincoln. Like, he is not a bad dude!

Now I see why they can’t get help from the avengers.

Yo yo is awesome.

Fitz having to play whack-a-mole with security. Gosh, they’re going through it.

Lincoln, nooo! You’re smarter than this! Your character growth! Oh, thank god it was part of the plan.

Yes! Lash! Badass!

Oh my god he’s saving Daisy! Yeah!!!

No!!! Lash!!!!

He couldn’t just have killed Hive? I guess we need a finale.

Andrew saved Daisy!

Shit, he’s got a warhead. Ward’s trying to destroy the world again.

What’s Elena giving Mack? No! Mack put that down! Put the cross down!

3x21

That’s right, Shield is good at what they do.

They done pissed off an alien.

Fitz is amazing.

Fitzsimmons should go on that vacation. Take a break.

Oh no the cross! The jacket! Fitz put it down!

Wait, she wants to go back?! Daisy, nooooo!

3x22

Ooh Yo Yo no!!! She took a bullet for Mack. Yeah, she is not okay.

Shit, they’re going to use the torch to cauterize the wound. That’s majorly going to scar.

Why do I kind of like Radcliffe?

Oh, May was about to be super nice to Daisy and she gets hit over the head.

“You were a murderous wank before all this” Okay, that line’s amazing

Did Fitz cloak a gun?! That’s amazing!

Aaaah, the jacket! Can they stop freaking me out with the jacket?!

I like how they pan from the window so they don’t have to break it for real.

Don’t get rid of Daisy!

“Help me Obi Wan Kenobi” Oh my god, that’s incredible.

Badass shield team is badass.

You know the person who plays Daisy is a great actress.

Wait. wait. Wait. Lincoln. Lincoln? Noooooo! They can’t kill Lincoln. They’re not going to—they can’t. But I loved Lincoln! Nooo!

*Steve is quiet for a long moment* I loved Lincoln.

*Flash forward* Is Daisy on the run?

Director? What? Phil’s not the director??

“No Aida that’s not what we’re celebrating” It’s your birthday. “Today’s your birthday.” CALLED IT! Wait, are we going to have robots?

Shit, we lost a lot of people that season.

Crap, I want to watch the next episode!!

[teenagetimecapsule]

Entry 3 - Saturday 1st September

I decided to write again today to try and get myself in the habit. Two diary entries already - she’s on a roll, people! Speaking of people, I am in desperate and dire need of some company that doesn’t include my own family. I never thought I’d look forward to going back to school, but honestly, they are driving me CRAZY. I’m currently watching Netflix (mum and dad finally let me get it - wooo!) and can literally still hear them with my headphones in.

Mum: “Rob, can you please take Danny to his ballet lesson? He’s going to be late!” 

Dad: “What? I thought you were taking him. Danny, are you ready?”

Danny: “Daddy, it doesn’t start for ages! Can I just finish this game of Mario Kart?”

Ashley: “Just go Danny, you’re losing anyway.”

Danny: “I am not, Ashley!”

Dad: “Danny, I’m going to count to three…”

And so on. I swear I am the only sane person in this family. Danny, who’s now 6 ½, is going through an annoying phase of copying absolutely everything Ashley does, including following him to the toilet, claiming he “Needs a poo, too!”. No joke. Unsurprisingly, they spend most of their time yelling at each other. My friends, on the other hand, think Danny is adorable. To be fair to them, I would probably fall for his Puss-in-Boots act too, if he wasn’t my birthday-stealing brother. Not that I’m bitter that I have to share my Boxing Day birthday (already a crap day to be born!) with him…

“Lexi, stop whining!”, my mum snapped last year. “It’s not his fault he was born on your birthday. He was 3 months early and we’re extremely lucky that he is here at all. So maybe just think about that!”

Ok, I do think about that, but I also reckon karma has made up for his rough start in life by granting him the best looks in the family! SO unfair. It also doesn’t help that he’s good at all the same things as me. Maybe some people would like sharing a hobby with their sibling (and wait for it, their mum), but I’ve come to realise that performing in musicals with half of your family is about as tragic as it gets. It’s a good job Dad and Ash aren’t into the performing arts, or we’d literally be some sort of BTEC von Trapp family. Aside from arguing with Danny, Ashley (who’s 9 now) keeps himself to himself and we mostly get on really well. I just wish he was a bit older so he could relate to my secondary school struggles! I can’t wait for us all to get on as adults without any of their childish rubbish.

I can still hear mum shouting. Guess they haven’t left for ballet yet.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell: Still groovy after all these years.

Bruce Campbell doesn't just 'do' Comic Cons, he takes them over.

For years, the affable "Evil Dead" icon has been one of the most popular and beloved guests at the massive fan gatherings. The guy with the longest autograph line, most crowded Q&A room. It's almost like Comic Cons were invented for Bruce Campbell.

And Niagara Falls finally snagged him.

Campbell appears for two days of the three-day Niagara Falls Comic Con (Saturday and Sunday) after years of being on the wish list of organizers Chris Dabrowski and James Ponce. And though he's used to massive shows like Fan Expo in Toronto and the San Diego Comic Con, there's a reason he loves smaller shows like Niagara Falls.

"What happens is, you go to these big conventions and you have these 'Walking Dead' stars … they're great, they're very popular, but they'll suck all the air out of the room," he says. "Meaning, they'll suck all the money out of the room.

"Fans don't have a lot of money, I know that for a fact. If you go to the secondary conventions there's nobody there to suck all the air out of the room, so all the guests have a better time because they have a chance to make money, and all the fans can now have affordable guests."

"A lot of these conventions will try and get the Marvel people. And they can get them, but you want a VIP package with one of these guys, it's $350."

As the man who slayed a thousand Deadites prepares to conquer the Falls Con, the actor, author and — yes — ordained minister grabbed the phone for some Q&A with The Review:

Q: Niagara Falls always strikes me as a Bruce Campbell kind of town … ever been through here before?

Campbell: "Well, my relatives are from Geneseo, N.Y., so I'm from that general area. My grandfather suffered up there miserably on his bicycle as a teenager. I've been to Niagara Falls. Everyone's been to Niagara Falls, it's just been a hundred years.

"I'm looking forward to it, I can't wait to get up there."

Q: How many of these Cons do you do per year now?

Campbell: "Every year is different. This year I'm selling a book in the fall, so I'll always increase stuff if I have an ulterior motive. But on average, probably 10 a year."

Q: These Cons … you make them look fun but can they be exhausting for you?

Campbell: "It's both. It's speedballing. It's heroin and cocaine at the same time. You're being pumped up by people … they're telling you how much they love you, and there's nothing wrong with that, but then you have to do it. You've got to roll up the sleeves, get the sharpies out and go to town. Leave no stone unturned and no customer without an autograph."

Q: I've seen guys roll through these things, sign their crap and leave without putting in much effort. You make it a performance.

Campbell: "Everybody's different. I know a couple actors who went to a convention and they'll never go back. It terrified them. They were mortified that people wanted to know all about their personal lives and watch them eat dinner. It's too unsettling for some people, the human interaction.

"That's a lot, too — you're shaking a lot of greasy hands. But I use it to build up my immune system. Some actors will shake a hand, then spray that (Purel) on their hand every time. I'm like 'Dude! That s—t's going to kill you faster than the handshake.' It's not like I don't wash my hand, but I don't freak out about it."

Q: I've never seen anyone with snappier comebacks to dumb questions, but has anyone ever stumped you?

Campbell: "Yeah! A guy asked me one time how I learned my line. He asked an actual actor question. You'd be surprised how little anyone ever asks me about the process of acting. Never! I looked at him and went, 'Oh my God, you just hit me with a real question.'"

Q: I imagine a lot of them just assume you're just being a 24-hour goof by your roles and appearances.

Campbell: "People can think whatever they want. They think they know you because they've watched you for years and think they've got you figured out.

"The most funny one is, a guy says he met me in an airport and I was kind of a dick to him, and he was glad. He goes 'All right, he's kind of like his character.'"

Q: The Evil Dead questions can be endless for you. Was the show (Ash vs. The Evil Dead) the last word on that universe for you?

Campbell: "My feeling is, we can absolutely do more Evil Dead … stories you can still tell, a video game's coming out. I'm still participating in that process, but I'm not going to get all dirty again and lay on cellar floors. I'm 60. I don't want to do that Star Wars thing where they're bringing people out with their walkers."

Q: It seemed like the show gave fans everything they could possibly want. Are you surprised they want more?

Campbell: "No, because fans are insatiable. Even if we did a Season 4 they'd go, 'God, if we just had a Season 5!' That would go on forever. We tried to keep them in mind because we knew the ratings weren't great going in to the last season. We've all worked on shows that get cancelled in the off-season and the viewers get screwed, so we're like 'We're going to end it this year. If they continue, we'll be ready. If they don't, we'll be ready.'

"For TV, they got 15 new unrated hours. If it was a feature, contractually we'd have to have it Rated R. So, if you want the good stuff, you already got it. The problem is, no one knew how to find (its network) Starz."

Q: If Netflix did the show it might still be going on.

Campbell: "That's for you, me and a lamp post."

Q: Did turning 60 change anything for you?

Campbell: "Oh sure. You go, 'OK, box checked — I'm an adult now, let's move on.' Other roles, other opportunities. I'm not doing the very effects-heavy stuff either, that's off my list now, too. Because I'm literally looking at tennis balls on sticks all day. 'Here's the creature, now the creature's over there …' You're acting shot by shot, not scene by scene."

Q: You deserved some kind of award for "Bubba Ho Tep." Did you hope for more serious stuff after that?

Campbell: "It's not even that. I don't look for serious or comedy. I just look for stuff that's going to be a fun project, good creativity, the right elements, right people, enough money. You've got to fit that general criteria now, and when you get to my age, the criteria for what gets me off my mountain is harder."

Q: The craziest part of your first book ("If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor") was where you still had a day job after "Evil Dead II." How did you not walk away from the industry?

Campbell: "I almost walked away several times. When my first wife wanted a divorce, I'm like, 'Let me just get out. I'll be a car salesman, whatever.' I tried, but car salesman was not in my future.

"But rather than be jaded or upset with my own industry … now I keep it at arm's length, because it's a girlfriend I don't trust any more. It's a girlfriend that's been too volatile, too fickle, so I'm not going to invest that much time and effort."

Q: Your new show, "Ripley's Believe It or Not," premieres during the Falls Comic Con, June 9. What can we look for with that?

Campbell: "Amazing stuff is happening all the time in our world. Now, it's catching people up to what's going on out there. Some natural wonders, people with horrible disabilities who overcome them … it's compelling and cool. I think it's a good fit for me and the fans of what I do.

"We're doing the human side of it. If you don't get to know the guy who turned himself into a parrot, you'll think he's just another kook."

[cudelshy-is-nb]

I NEED TO RANT

So, I’m watching Ash vs Evil Dead on Netflix and I’m just... SWOON! I know that in all seriousness Ash is a lot older than most of us, but HE CARRIES AROUND A CHAINSAW AND A SHOTGUN— one of those on its own is heavy as it is, and he doesn’t give a crap about it and swings it around like it’s NOTHING! Guys, please let me know if I’m not only one???

EVIDENCE! Alright, thank you for coming to my rant about this hunk of on oldie!!!!

[shadowcatgirl09]

So I finished watching How It Ends on netflix and it was...okay. Not super out of this world but to me it wasn’t boring, it just mildly held my attention.

My messy thoughts under the cut

Okay I figured out my main problem with this movie, after stewing over it for a hour, it should’ve just been a mini series. A 3 part mini series that expanded on characterization and the cause of the phenomenon. Mark’s character was on to something way more interesting than what we actually got.

Anyway, I wasn’t surprised Forest Whitaker dies in the film. He lasted just long enough to form a slight bond with Will, help him (more like force him) to learn how to use a gun and then perish. In fact, in my honest opinion, he should’ve lived instead or at least survived longer. He deserved to see his daughter.

On the note of bonding, there’s Jeremiah (Mark O’Brien’s character) and Sam, like his character came out of nowhere and suddenly wants Sam for himself. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for dudes fighting over Kat in something (finally) but it was, at risk of repeating myself, out of left field. Like instead of the unnecessary amounts of scenic shots and times when they were sleeping while driving, could’ve been better spent on Sam’s character with the Jeremiah dude or just her character in general. Why did he want her? What exactly did they bond over? She was super comfortable with him because they were neighbors but...? It felt oddly like when Shane finds out Rick is alive in season 1 of TWD and how it escalated from there.

Just to note when Sam and Will are together they’re super cute and that makeout scene should’ve lasted longer fam.

Which in turn brings up another thing, we didn’t even get to see Sam mourn her father, just the aftermath. (Gee doesn’t that sound familiar?) Then to make matters worse I don’t even think it’s mentioned if she called her mother and brother to see if they were alright or to let them know?

While I enjoyed Grace Dove’s character I couldn’t really grow attached to her, so when she has a freak out and leaves I was just like:

Well at least she didn’t die or I hope she didn’t.

Btw the ending was abrupt as crap. You see them out drive the huge cloud of dust? Volcano ash? And then credits, no post credits scene or anything. It literally ends right after the cloud stops.

Overall I would rate it 2 stars. It was okay but it could’ve been better

[metalandmagi]

December End of the Year Media Madness!

It’s a new month and a new year! And what a crazy month it was what with Tumblr imploding and all. But I’ll still throw this on here just because I’ll be on this site until it literally boots me out. But I do have a twitter now…@metalandmagi where I’m also barely active at all.

Anyway, why make top 10 lists for the entire year when I can just ramble about all the media I consumed this month? There’s only a marginal amount of holiday things on here by my standards!

November media

Movies!

Give me some credit there’s only four Christmas movies on here.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?: A documentary about Mr. Rogers starting with the birth of the television show to his death. This is the fluffiest most heartwarming thing I could have possibly picked to watch on Christmas, and I encourage everyone, even people who hate documentaries and/or never grew up with Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, to watch it. There’s a lot of important messages about acceptance, dealing with tragedy, and mental health that people can learn from and feel good about. Not to mention how he completely revolutionized children’s television. So yeah, he was awesome.10/10

Spider-man Into the Spider-verse: When a rip between dimensions is opened, a bunch of different spider themed superheroes from every comic fan’s wet dreams all get together to close it. Guys I’m not that big of a Spider-man fan, but dang this movie was a ton of fun. I came for the amazing visual effects and stayed for the amazing...everything else. The music, the performances, and the story were all top notch. Also I now have a new favorite Nick Cage role. If you thought the trailer made the animation look interesting, it was just the tip of the iceberg because it is the most visually interesting movie I’ve seen in the last three years. I strongly suggest any fan of animation...or even any fan of great stories and movies in general go see it even if you’re not that big on Spider-Man. Now I’m demanding a Spider-verse Aunt May movie because I have so many questions! And the post credits scene was the best out of any Marvel movie. Period. 10,000/10

The Wiz (2015 musical): I should start making a section for musicals or plays instead of just lumping it in with the movies. It’s the Wizard of Oz...but cool. I’ve never seen any iteration of The Wiz and it seems like I’m constantly hearing about it. So I watched the 2015 version of the 1975 Broadway musical that NBC aired. And yeah it’s good. There were some great performances. But I wasn’t very impressed with the songs themselves, and it’s not really the same without a dog along for the ride, but whatever. 7.5/10

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle: The surprisingly fun reboot/sequel thing of Jumanji where four teenagers get stuck in a video game that follows every “stuck in a video game” trope you can imagine but actually does it well. It’s a sweet, funny romp through the jungle with some great comedic performances. I really don’t have much to say about it except that this movie is better than it has any right to be. 8/10

The Christmas Chronicles: Two children stow away on Kurt Russell’s, I mean Santa’s sleigh and go on a dangerous, balls to the wall adventure throughout Chicago trying to save Christmas or something. After everyone started talking about how crazy this Netflix movie is I had to watch it to verify if it is indeed as wild as they said. And yes...yes it is. It is so laughably ridiculous and questionable that it’s impossible to actually hate. The elves are some unholy mixture of minions and gremlins, one of the children is a literal felon that no one is concerned about, and Kurt Russell is super into the role but has some sort of thing about fat-shaming Santa. I just...have so many questions! But it was certainly a trip, so I’d have to recommend it just so you too can witness the insanity. -10 “savvy, straight-talking St. Nicks”/10

Arthur Christmas: No, it’s not a Christmas special related to the aardvark cartoon! This is the 2011 animated movie that no one remembers exists. Santa’s clumsy but enthusiastic son Arthur must deliver a forgotten present in less than two hours while the rest of his family deals with some Arrested Development style family drama. This is by far the most underrated Christmas movie of all time; even I didn’t realize it was actually good until I watched it for the first time in 2016! The fun road-trip style plot and the entertaining characters were victims of bad marketing. Arthur is hilariously endearing, and there was so much heart and effort put into it that I can find new things to notice every time I watch it. Not to mention the amazingly animated opening spy sequence! And also Mrs. Claus is secretly a total badass and Bryony the elf is the coolest female character in a Christmas movie ever. The movie’s message of old vs new is nothing we haven’t seen before, but I really don’t care because at the heart of it all, it’s about making people happy on Christmas. If you’re like me and just assumed this movie would suck...or didn’t know it exists, please give it a chance. It’s not perfect, but it’s worth seeing. 9/10

Neo Yokio Pink Christmas: Yes, it’s the Christmas special for Neo Yokio. No I cannot accurately describe it with mere words. There’s a rich bachelor gift exchange, demon possession, and pompous French aunts slinging insults at each other. It is unironically my favorite holiday episode of a show ever, and to me it’s the best Christmas special ever made. I thought I was prepared for the absolute bat-shit ride I would go on, but no...I wasn’t even close. At this point I don’t know if it’s written like this on purpose or if some divine twist of fate made the executives believe this is truly brilliant television. Either way, it is a masterpiece in its own right. There’s even a somewhat intriguing plot and a message about gift giving and capitalism under all the crazy! If you haven’t jumped down the rabbit hole yet, I implore you to watch the insanity that is Neo Yokio and follow it up with Pink Christmas because it will truly make your holiday season. 100,000 demon DNA drugs out of 100,000!

Die Hard: Nothing says Christmas like terrorists taking over a skyscraper and Bruce Willis having to take them all down by himself. Yeah...so I’ve never seen Die Hard before, but this is one of those movies that is so famous that I felt like I’d already absorbed everything important through cultural osmosis. And even though it’s pretty good, I would have liked it better if I didn’t know what was going to happen. My only real complaint is that I think it goes on way too long. More than anything it just made me sad to remember that Alan Rickman is gone. And it bothers me so much that John McClane goes through this building that’s under construction WITHOUT SHOES! 8/10

Books!

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis: The 4th/6th book in the Chronicles of Narnia, in which Eustace Scrubb and his classmate Jill Pole go to the underworld to find King Caspian’s long lost son. Even though my children- the Pevensies aren’t in it, I actually think this book is my favorite of the series so far. Jill and Eustace are both sassy enough to play off each other, Puddleglum absolutely hilarious, and the book actually has a clear cut plot! It reads much more like a Greek myth than a children’s fairy tale since there aren’t nearly as many of Lewis’s trademark author interjections, and you know...it’s a literal journey to the underworld. And can I just say that it’s super refreshing to have an author write two main characters WITH ZERO ROMANTIC INTENTIONS! Especially since they’re freaking children! Now I just wish Disney had continued the movies even more! 9/10

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare: I’m going to do this with only minor spoilers. It’s the final book in The Dark Artifices trilogy. Will Emma and Julian break the parabatai bond? Will the reflection of the modern day American government- I mean the Cohort/ the Clave fuck up the relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders forever? You’ll have to suffer like the rest of us to find out! In my opinion, 99% of this book is amazing, but in the last 50 pages there are some...bullshit ways of solving problems. Like everything that went down with the Cohort in Idris. Not to mention we’ve been so invested in the parabatai curse and how Julian and Emma’s bond would go down and...let’s just say the resolution was way too easy. And if you thought Clare’s other finales were jam packed, you ain't seen nothin’ yet. My copy is 880 pages and there was still more stuff that I wanted to happen...like any sort of scene between Dru and Ash...or an ending between Kit and Ty that doesn’t make me want to cry (the Wicked Powers is going to be brutal). But the rest of that 99% is mind-blowing! There’s so much good I can say that it mostly outranks anything I didn’t like...I mean we finally got a Malec wedding and a proper polyamorous relationship for the Angel’s sake! It may be my least favorite of her finales by default but it was still a fun ride! 9/10

TV shows!

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018): An elite soldier finds a sword that can transform her into a super buff magical girl who helps princesses take down the forces of evil. It’s a reboot of the 1980s cartoon, and holy crap it’s AMAZING! I have a whole new group of children to adopt, each episode is entertaining in its own way, and there’s so...many...good...ships! And it gives Steven Universe a run for its money with the care that went into making every character a different kind of warrior, which I love because the cast is 99% female. My only real complaint is that I never warmed up to Catra because she wasn’t particularly sympathetic to me from the beginning. But I understand why some people love her. If you love well crafted adventurous character driven cartoons and haven’t watched it yet WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?  10/10

Nailed It Holiday: Yes, my favorite baking show (and by that I mean the only baking show I watch) has a holiday season out on Netflix, in which newbie bakers are tasked with making incredibly professional desserts with a very short time limit. And whoever makes the best treat gets 10,000 dollars. I’ve talked about this show before in my June media madness, and I don’t know what it is but I’m so addicted to it. 10/10

Brooklyn nine-nine (season 5): Come on we all know the cop sitcom. It’s the best sitcom. Just in general it’s the best. Great characters that subvert expectations, great humor, and a lot of heart. I’ve known that this show is supposed to be amazing for years, but I only started watching it a few months ago. And since I couldn’t find season 5 anywhere...I got a Hulu subscription just to watch it before season 6 comes out. That’s how good this show is. 10/10

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2): Our favorite underdog comedian is back, and she’s slowly gaining popularity and doing...stuff. Like going on tour. And hanging out with Zachary Levi. Yes, this season is great, but my problem with this series is that every character aside from Midge and Susie are the fucking worst, especially the parents. Midge’s parents suck, Joel’s parents suck, Midge and Joel are appropriately neglectful parents for the time period...I could go on. And it’s not even in a funny way; like it’s just disgusting to watch these power dynamics. Not to mention how old the comedic bits for the parents get (how many times can we hear about Joel needing to date or Midge needing to get married?!) Yes, I realize that we’re supposed to be annoyed AND YES I realize that this is a product of culture and how society was, but none of the parents have any redeeming qualities. In episode one, we’re led to believe that Midge’s parents will grow and change through the season and they never do! At least there are moments where Joel can kind of be redeeming and expand on his actual character before he reverts back to being an asshole. Anyway, my thoughts are pretty much the same as the first season. It’s funny and interesting to watch, but it can be ridiculously frustrating when you hate almost all the characters!  8/10

Fuller House (season 4): Yes I do watch the ridiculous Netflix reboot of Full House. And yes, it is absolutely terrible! I really really hate it! But will I stop watching it? Let’s just say you can pry this pile of garbage from my cold dead hands. I don’t know if I’d call this a guilty pleasure or a hate watch type of show... it’s certainly not so bad it’s good territory like Neo Yokio...but Full House was pretty much my entire childhood. And yes, the original show is also not great. I loved it as a kid, and it was my first real exposure to a non-traditional family in live action, but yeah it doesn’t age well. What I’m trying to say is...I have no good reason for watching this.

I don’t mean to say that there’s nothing good about it, especially this season. They really back off on the more cringe-worthy catch phrases, Stephanie being aware of how stupid the writing is and constantly pointing it out is actually funny, their Christmas episode was surprisingly genuine, and they impressed me by actually make two female characters try and work through their difficulties instead of pitting them against each other for laughs. It has its moments, just like the original but definitely not enough to make up for the worst of it. Maybe this generation of children will like it the way lots of my generation used to like Full House...but yeah it’s awful, I hate it so much. -1 missing Tanner child out of 3

Voltron Legendary Defender (season 8) SPOILERS: It’s the final season of Netflix’s Voltron, and boy it was...something. I didn’t want to make this a big rant/defense of the show...but I feel like I have to highlight some things because this fandom is a shithole that refuses to see the good in anything.

There is so much good and so much...not good I can say about it, so here’s a couple things. I know this show didn’t go the direction anyone wanted, but that doesn’t make it bad. In addition to the stunning fight scenes and music, the performances this season were just amazing! I literally wanted to cry every other episode even though sometimes I didn’t know why the fuck something was happening. I don’t know how I feel about Honerva’s plan. I understand her motivation, but I was constantly questioning how we got from point A to point B... so yeah the plot and writing could be...weird at times. Also everyone seemed to have super pointy chins this season...

Spoiler alert: Not many of us wanted Lance and Allura to happen, but I truly believe it wasn’t done in a half assed way. At the very least, I appreciate that they had a genuine bond that developed over so many seasons. BECAUSE YES IT DID! Anyone who says they had no development or that it felt forced never paid attention. I wanted it to stay platonic; I wanted Klance to happen, but...I can’t be too mad at the writers because they at least tried. I still believe that Klance was endgame and the creators were forced to change the outcome of the show later on. AND YES LANCE DID GET A CHARACTER ARC! It may not have been the one we wanted to see, but I’m baffled that people think Lance living with his family, surrounded by people he loves-which is what he wanted all along- is not a happy ending. I just wish his relationship with Keith wasn’t pretty much ignored all season. But I believe Allura is his past that taught him to genuinely love and Keith is his future who will make Lance his “first choice”. And I’m not even gonna try to explain how I feel about Shiro and Allura’s endings because everything I feel is so complicated and layered. There is good and there is bad.

TLDR: This show teaches us that we’re stronger together, and I think the “fandom” completely missed the point because they do nothing but tear others down and refuse to look at things from other perspectives. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT LIKE IT, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY OTHER PEOPLE’S ENJOYMENT AND BE A DICK ABOUT IT. It may not have been everything I wanted, but I’m glad I went on this ride. Besides, there are canonically infinite realities so there’s got to be a reality where all your dreams for the show come true. As a season, I’d say it’s a 7.5/10.

Honorable Mentions

I watched Avengers: Infinity War again. And yes it’s still great.

I’m watching Superstore because when another sitcom comes on before The Good Place, why not? Also since I finished season 5 of Brooklyn 99 I had to use my Hulu subscription for something.

Camp Camp has a holiday episode...so naturally I watched it...several times. Please watch Camp Camp.

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged finally ended, and I feel obligated to shout this out because, hey when you put out one episode a year it’s a big accomplishment to finish it!

Super Smash Bros Ultimate is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE WINTER ANIME IS ENDING!!! They were all so amazing! So shout out to Iroduku-The world in colors, Bloom into You, Hinomaru Sumo, Dakaichi, Banana Fish, Jingai no Yomen, Golden Kamuy, Skull-faced Bookseller Honda-san, Tsurune, AND RUN WITH THE WIND even though they’re not finished yet.

[cockslutpadalecki]

Tag Game

I got tagged by the lovely @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash, @annablack1102, @heytheremoosesquirrel & @shethenightwolf; thank you ❤️

Now… rules - tag 20 followers that you want to know more about.

And… here’s the game!

nickname - lise, lisey, khalisey, slutbunny, fuck off 

gender - female

star sign - pisces

height - 5′ 4″ (i think) 

sexuality - straight...ish?

favourite animal - i can’t narrow it down to one cause i love all animals like, seriously. but i am hugely obsessed with racoons

average hours of sleep - seven or eight. i am the worst person to be around if i don’t get a lot of sleep and with my immune system being as shit as it is, the more sleep i get the better i feel

dog or cats? - my family has only ever owned cats and i spent most of my life growing up with one cat who literally became my best friend but the boyf is a major dog person so i’m honestly a bit of both now and we want a dog and a cat lol

number of blankets - a duvet in the summer and then one hefty fluffbag of a blanket when it’s cold, mm

dream trip - still aching to get myself to disneyland and norway. but i’d also love to visit egypt as i find the history of that country and the pyramids/tutankhamun fascinating. tornado alley cause i am such a nerd for tornados and weather phenomenons. oh! and turin because supposedly the gates of hell are meant to lay within that city and i love all that satanic crap

dream job - to work with animals or be ariel at disneyland

favourite songs of the week - always by bon jovi, rehab by rihanna, echo by jason walker and ashes by celine dion. i have a whole playlist of songs i listen to when i sleep and these are a few of those; i love them

things you find comforting - hugs, tea, laying in bed all wrapped up watching netflix, being around my cat, tumblr, rain pattering on windows, instrumental music, guitar solos

Not gonna tag anyone in particular but if you want to take part then knock yourself out ❤️

[echelonlab-blog]

Interview with Hazeleyedleto

Your URL:

Hazeleyedleto: https://hazeleyedleto.tumblr.com

Echelon Fiction (fanfic account): https://echelonfiction.tumblr.com

Your name: Monique

Link to your Masterlist: https://echelonfiction.tumblr.com/mystores What was your first experience with 30 Seconds to Mars? The Kill, when I was an 18-year-old, how amazing was your first time seeing the Kill? Your Favorite Mars song? Attack Has anything ever happened to you solely because of being a 30STM fan? I met my best friend <3 What is your favorite thing about the fandom? Your least favorite? Fav: no matter what I know there is always going to be a place where I fit in, I’ve never had that before Least: The bitches who think they're better than other bitches, and the daddy kink Is there any advice you would give to someone who is new to the fandom? We’re obsessive, protective but not all that bad, the bad eggs are few and far between but they are loud, try to ignore them How long have you been writing? 18 years. Why did you start writing? (Either in general or for Mars specifically) When I was 12, I had so much stationary that I didn’t know what to do with so I started one story. . . then another then another. Still, have too much stationary but am a writer so its okay Do you write for other fandoms? If so, which ones? Depends, I Like writing the Linkin Park guys and Bucky Barnes, but whatever inspires me really Do you share everything you write? If not, is there a reason why? Hmm, no. I only really share mars stuff, my non- fanfic stuff will be turned in to novels and my non-mars related stuff I don’t really have a platform to do so on. Have you written things that aren't fanfic? If so, could you tell us about those works? Many, my writing is 50/50 fanfic vs Fiction. My latest novel that I finished a couple of weeks ago ended about 85k words is about angels and demons and a prophecy that will either unite or destroy them all Of all your works, which is your favorite and why? Iridescent – (mentioned in above question) because it’s the novel that took over my whole life and kept me hostage until I wrote it from beginning to end rendering me with Stockholm syndrome to the point that I still miss them Stand Tall, They’ll Break Your Heart – first novel I ever finished. and Bright Lights – I’ve never had such a positive response from anything I’ve ever written and get yelled at because I don’t update often enough Is there one that was particularly difficult to write? Why? They’re all difficult to write. I write very emotionally driven novels, they can be draining as I take on the characters at such a personal level that I live what they tell me in a way, I’m crazy, ignore me. What is the ideal writing environment for you? At your desk? Quiet? Music? Anywhere anytime, I usually write sitting on my bed, but can literally write anywhere in any environment. Prefer loud music and a comfy place for my butt What type of fanfic are you most comfortable writing (drama, fluff, angst, drabbles, series, etc.) Mushy series filled with drama What is your favorite fanfic trope? I don’t know what that is but I THINK my answer is dramatic chicks being involved with music or rock bands Is there any trope or subject that you won't write? Daddy kink? Are there any special tools that you use when creating or writing your story? My fingers!? My stories are often inspired by songs or video clips or something like that J Do you write your story in order or do you jump around and then string it together at the end? Sometimes, especially with fanfictions. Like with Bright Lights (my biggest Mars fanfic) I have four future versions, but the reason I do that is to better understand them in the ‘bright lights’ version. Do you outline, or do a great deal of prep work or do you 'fly by the seat of your pants'? Up until my novels Attack and Iridescent I ALWAYS prided myself about being a pantser, but I really enjoyed being a planner for those two novels. How do you usually get your inspiration? Music and Video clips, sometimes dreams and other places. Do you have ideas on the drawing board or in progress currently that you haven't shared yet? Yeah, Beautiful Disaster, my bff would kill me if I wrote it though, but I have another one in the holster I am thinking about starting April 1st If you have an unpublished work in progress, please pick two to three sentences and share them without context. “Armani,” Stephanie smiled, “I trust you are well?” Mike looked between the two Angels as the embraced in a slight hug and a kiss in the cheek. Stephanie stepping back between him and Chester. “Of course,” Armani smiled. “I’m betting this isn’t a social call?” the other angel asked. “No, Armani, this is Chester and Mike,” she said pointing to the demon who owned the names. “I’ve come to make a request,” Stephanie said looking to Armani from under her eyebrows, trying to gauge her reaction. Her face was poised, it always was, but the mood in the room changed, it was now tension filled. Armani was no fool, she knew this angel was standing before her with two demons. “You will need to-” “I am a direct crown descendant ” Stephanie said. “You are also standing her with two demons,” “And you are breaking the rules,” “yeah but” “If I was willing I could turn you into ash, right now,” Stephanie pointed out. “and I would be in the right,” she told. Armani held her gaze. “now, are you going to follow the rules and grant me my appearance for request, or am I going to have to take care of things another way?” Stephanie’s lips curl upward Armani’s lip curled downward as she turned slightly. Do you like requests? Would you like more or less of them? I haven’t had any, but would be happy to take them. Is there an upcoming project from you that you are excited about? Why, and what can you share about it? I can’t wait to edit and Publish Iridescent The best piece of writing advice you've ever received? Can never pick just one Put your butt in a chair and your hands on the keyboard and something will happiness. Writer's block is just an excuse, write anything even the crap, it can always be changed later And, Aim to write every day, even just for 15mins per day, get in that habit and you will find you self-finding 5 mins or 10 mins slots more often then you realise The worst piece of writing advice you've ever received? I don’t know. Wasn’t important, was it? What piece of advice would you give to someone just starting to write fanfic? Give it ago, see how if feels, you don’t have to share it, just try. Three (stories, series, scenes, etc) written by others that you really like or that inspire you? Closer – partcually Tomo in this story, even though the whole story is fucking amazing and Black Fuel and Bikes @fyeahproudglambert Provihitofics had a story about camping, it was great she doesn’t fic no more tho

Are any of your characters closer to being “you” than others? Any reason in particular? Hmmmmm, yes I guess. The characters are all like different parts of me, Phoebe is an angry psycho which is a part I never get to express often, but there are parts of her that are not like me. Same with Helena being independent to some extent.

One thing about me is I like to find things I have in common with people, if I look hard enough, it could become obsessive.

Are any of your characters based on someone you know? Hmm a lot of my male characters look like rock stars if that counts. Are any of your plots based on something that happened to you? No, but one day Favorite font for writing? Don’t have one Do you have a 'day job'? If so, what? I am a student studying Bachelor of Social Science (psychology) with hopes to get good enough scores to get into Psychology. I am Also an Author and a qualified Mental health peer worker. Do you consider yourself a reader outside of fanfic? Yup, Your favorite book? Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson Your favorite things to do when you're not writing? What does ‘not writing’ mean? .  . . nah I like to watch Safari live, see my niece and nephew, explore the wild and hate on frogs The strangest thing you've ever eaten? My brothers used to make me eat grass stalks, oh oh CAVIAR I got told it wasn’t Caviar, it was freaking caviar Looks at @Fyeahproudglambert Two truths and a lie? I hate frogs, I’ve never met my best friend, I love the feel of fallen out hair Five albums you'd want if stranded on a desert island? Cant I just take my Spotify? I actually don’t think I can answer this? I don’t just listen to albums all the way through, . .  . This is war (plus attack and the kill) LLFD Breakaway kelly Clarkson Hybrid theory A thousand suns Something surprising about you? I have a really good memory And I usually come off as pretentious and up myself, because I am highly critical of things and probably way too opinionated, but I am actually a really nice, loyal and caring person who just wants to do good and help as many people as I can Favorite food to enjoy while watching Netflix? Anything, maybe a packet of sea salt chippies. Favorite way to spend a Saturday night? Writing Blankets Tucked or Untucked? Right side untucked, left side tucked Do you have any pets? Would you like to tell us about them? Dog, Ella - She shares my birthday, Sasha – not my dog, my brother's dog but I grew up with her and am temporarily looking after her, Cats: Ollie, Angel, Sully. I got Ollie first (After my cat Joel died) and then my brother got Angel (she was being mistreated somewhere else) Ollie and Angel bonded n such a human love type way, and we decided they could not be separated, so I got Angel too, guess what though, 9 month old cats can have babies, Angel had three Kittens, Lucky, Sully and Heat, my brother kept heat, I kept sully and Lucky went to a loving home J Musicals, yes or no? If yes, what movie/show would you like to see made into a musical? No, thank you Tell us a joke. Mars fans who hate and bitch on everything the band does Are there any particular battles or struggles in your life you'd like to tell us about? Hmm, I mean I am an open book with the things I have been through, and am happy to talk about them at any time, there are many things from abuse, abandonment, isolation, major depression, self-harm, suicidal ideology, my brother was recently in a coma ,my mother’s cancer journey, my heart issues, social phobia, PTSD, horderism and crippling self-doubt and anxiety, to tell the short story. While some things still plague me, I find all of it also drives me to make my life better, and t do the best I can every day. Life struggles are hard, but they also enrich me to not only help people in my ‘day job’ but to help me write richer stories. Anything you'd like to add? You guys are doing a great job. When I started Echelon fiction, this is kinda what I wanted it to be but I never had the drive to pull it off, I love how innovative you guys are being and changing things up getting your followers involved, its really cool! Good job, keep going

[brokehorrorfan]

Interview: Bruce Campbell (Hail to the Chin, Ash vs Evil Dead)

Bruce Campbell needs no introduction. The cult icon took some time out of his book tour to discuss his new memoir, Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B Movie Actor, as well as the game-changing third season of Ash vs. Evil Dead and a look back at Evil Dead 2. He also gives a peek at what it’s store for the future of his career, for which he’s noticeably excited.

In Hail to the Chin, you mention that you see your memoirs as a trilogy. What made this seem like the right time for the second installment?

A lot of weird shit's happened in the last 15 years! In 15 years, a lot can happen. The industry changed. The blue collar aspects, the middle class of the industry fell out. They don't make movies in the U.S. anymore. I also decided to get the hell out of LA, so there were a bunch of changes. Crazy new adventures: visiting the troops in Iraq in '09, making movies in Bulgaria. It seemed like there was enough for a book.

What was the writing process like this time around?

For this one, I hooked up with my buddy, [co-author] Craig Sanborn. We've worked together for 20 years. I went up to Portland, where he lives. I was busy. I was a working actor, and I was afraid that this thing was just going to keep getting pushed back. This book has been around long enough that Burn Notice was still going. I was going to end the book with Bruce Notice. You know, hit cable show! You always have to end it with something special. We kept working on it long enough that Ash vs. Evil Dead came around, so it seemed to go full circle. So we sat down and recorded for a week solid, anything that I could remember, and then he would kind of interview me, ask me questions. Then he transcribed it all, and we just started to figure out our outline.

You kicked off your book tour a few days ago. How has the response been so far?

It's good! We're about twice of what we were with the first Chins book. That's the direction you want to go in. It's been good so far.

You're hosting Last Fan Standing a few of the tour stops, including tonight. What can we look forward to from that?

A hell of a damn good time! We're speaking their lingo. We're asking, like, how much does Thor's hammer weigh? What is Harry Potter's wand made out of? Crap like that. And everybody gets a shot to win! We're not vetting anybody. So they're not coming in to watch people that have already qualified. Anybody who walks in there could win. You take a few early rounds, and then the best four are brought up, and then you whittle it down to one. And then they get a certificate of useless knowledge. You don't win a car or anything. [laughs] You don't get shit!

You mentioned coming full circle with Ash vs. Evil Dead. Do you have any insight as to when we'll see the third season?

You tell me when you hear something! Look, here's some realities: Starz was purchased by Lionsgate last year, so eventually the corporations crash into each other and they have to figure it out. "Our bosses have bosses now. Our bosses didn't used to have bosses." Everyone's singing for their supper right now, so we'll see. They might shift the date to the first quarter of 2018 to get out of the noise of the fall. Fall is an incredibly nightmarish time. It's great for horror, Halloween - but if it's too busy, it's too busy.

I know you can't give anything away, but what can fans expect from the new season?

Last season, we met Ash's father. We meet more of his family this year - perhaps a daughter. So Ash not only has to save the world, he has to raise an unruly daughter in a very shitty way. Everything she sees makes it seem like he's a serial killer, and everything he says makes it seem like he's insane, and yet he never lies to her. He has a line where he says, "I may be a crappy father, but I'm also a crappy liar." There's a little bit of that bond. It's all hands on deck in season three.

And we're doing a lot more of the mythology. Who is Ash? A drawing of him is in the ancient book, so he's not just some loser in a trailer park. Why him? There's a lot more of that. And, at the end, we crack it wide open. We take that egg and smash it on the sidewalk. Nothing will ever be the same by the end of episode 10. Nothing!

In the book, you write about your tenuous experience working on the two movies you directed. Do you think you'll get behind the camera again? Have you been tempted to do an episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead?

No, Ash vs. Evil Dead is too difficult just being an actor. I've got my hands full.

After Ash vs. Evil Dead, I'm engaging in what I call Act 3 mentality. Act 1, there are not bad jobs. Maniac Cop? Man, let me do that! No bad scripts, no bad contracts, no bad directors, no bad co-stars. It's all good. Act 2, which is sort of what I finished up - the book really represents the end of Act 2 - you start to be a little more discerning. You go, "Well, that didn't work out so well on that type of a movie," or if a movie is shot too quickly, or if a director is a first-timer. You start to know what a good script is. Who knows what a good story is when you first start in this business. You start to learn that. And then you start to go, "Oh, that guy's a hack!" and you realize that there's some people who are not qualified, and you know as much as anybody. You start to learn what a shitty deal is. You get better lawyers, and you get better deals. Everything improves, in theory. You don't say yes all the time. I used to just love working, and it makes sense to just do anything to get into it. But, after a while, you go, "I'm kind of tired of that shit."

So Act 3, I'm only doing stuff that means the full-on Act 3 self-developed mode. It's getting off the hamster wheel, including the TV hamster wheel. I'm dragging my ass to the southern hemisphere for five months every year for the last three years. It gets old. Auckland is a great place, the crews are great. I think the work we're doing is good, it's solid, but I live in Oregon. I want to make movies in Oregon. When I knew Burn Notice was going to be canceled - we had, like, a year warning - I just started to develop scripts. I have about a dozen projects that I own. My wife and I are looking at each other going, "Well, if not now, when?" I'm pushing 60, so I want to do stuff that's way more personal while I have the energy. I've got a western, I've got comedies, some horror.

And I'm going to get back into books, because you get a lot more respect as an author than you do as an actor. As an actor, people love capitalizing on, "Oh, he's a B-lister!" Instead of B-movie, it's B-lister. You can sort of stigmatize yourself in that same process, but with a book, it's a little more out of left field. They figure, "Oh, maybe you have a brain." And there's not as many chefs, so creatively, in my experience, almost nothing beats writing a book. I work with my editor, and when he's got opinion we'll talk it over, but it's not a committee. The difference is books don't cost that much. If you're spending $200 million on a movie, you bet your ass there's going to be strong opinions from a lot of people who are afraid of losing their jobs. It's a much more relaxed atmosphere.

Are you thinking more non-fiction or fiction?

More non-fiction and more fiction. More of both. It's interesting to think about, "What would you do next?" It's exciting. What I want to do is create a low budget closed loop. It's one thing to be in the Marvel movies and you're opening in 4,300 theaters, and you're shooting that thing for 9 months, you're promoting it for 3 months. Those actors don't know hit them.

I know a bunch of smaller theater chains. There's the Alamo [Drafthouse] guys, who are great, and I'm doing some work with them on this tour. They've been totally open to the whole thing. They get it. They get what fans are all about. They know what they want. "Give me my beer and pizza, and show me movies that I want!" The Landmark theater chain has also been very friendly. I've shown a couples through those guys. You start developing official relationships with them and really get to know these guys on a much more personal level.

Get to know who owns the VOD companies. Put a face and a name and a handshake. Go meet the Netflix guys. I don't know any of these people, because I've just been working with all the different entities, but they don't necessarily represent the future of what's happening now. Meet those guys, and then find some foreign sales guys. I've worked with various over the years here and there, but really sit down with them and go, "Who are you guys?" Find the best one that can sell that type of movie, a lower-budget indie type of deal.

And, even though I've never really played this game, you start getting to know the festivals. If you don't have a mass distribution plan, you still have to figure out a way to be seen, to be noticed, to get articles, reviews. I'm going to kind of relearn current Hollywood. Even go meet with the studios again; not about big projects, just, "What are you guys looking for? What budget range do you do these days?" That's exciting, because I'm reintroducing myself to everybody in a completely independent way. Instead of hooking up with a [creator] Matt Nix from Burn Notice, I am Matt Nix. Instead of everything that's involved in Ash vs. Evil Dead, it's my project.

My wife will basically be my partner. She's earned her keep, letting me drag her around the world. Now it's time to settle down. Here's the thing: a lot of times, because of random factors, you end up shooting in a part of the world at the wrong time. You're in Auckland, New Zealand in June, which sounds great - but not in the southern hemisphere. The rain is going sideways in June. It's getting to a high of a 55 and a low of 42. Or you find yourself shooting in the northern hemisphere is January, because of random decisions that people have made that are not me. I wouldn't be in Auckland, New Zealand if it wasn't for decisions made by other people. I'm kind of done with that now.

I know I can always do conventions until I die - and I probably will. You look at the [William] Shatners and the Stan Lees. They don't stop. Stan Lee is 92, Shatner's 86, Adam West was 88. Those guys are a great example. I know from my parents who aged and died, use it or lose it. Stan Lee gets up out of bed, keeps him physically moving, he has a Twitter feed and all his crazy merchandising empire - and he does it! It keeps him alive. I think Shatner too. He's doing one-man shows. It's impressive.

Retirement is actually not the issue; I'm retiring from certain things and certain types of acting. When you get in the horror world that has effects and stuff, you're acting with tennis balls on sticks. You're in stunt harnesses so they can hoist you up. They're hitting you with blood rigs and stuff like that. Your whole life consists of: "Three... two... one... Go! [explosion noises]" You set up to do one shot at a time. There's none of this sitting down having a long conversation, where you can get a sense of drama or to build up a scene. It's so far apart from theatrical. It's broken up into little, tiny pieces. Even when we do the fights, it's like, "Bing, bang, boom, duck, cut!" We just want to keep it short, sweet, safe, and move on to the next piece. That too gets old.

I was crabby talking to my wife on the phone one time, and she goes, "You just have poopy diaper syndrome." I'm like, "What does that mean?" She says, "You're sitting around in a poopy diaper all day! You've got blood on you, dirt on you. You're in these dirty caves all the time, darkly-lit basements. It's the wintertime in New Zealand. It's going to fuck with your head." I'm a generally cheery guy, but by the end of the season, I'm like, "Somebody kill me." So it's time for other stuff, mix it up. I'm excited for the future.

This year marks the 30th anniversary of Evil Dead 2, which remains a classic of the genre. How do you feel reflecting back on that time in your life?

A lot of people like Evil Dead 2. Some of them like it as much as Army of Darkness. It's a personal taste. If you don't really like the gore and stuff, you're gonna like Army of Darkness. It's a little more of a Ray Harryhausen adventure story. But if you still want gore and maybe a little bit of humor, Evil Dead 2 is pretty good. There's a good 20 minutes of that movie where there's nobody else in the movie. I remember Dino De Laurentiis, who financed the movie, he was really worried. He's like, "You can't do that." In my opinion, it's the best part of the movie: Ash running around, being tormented and blowing holes in the wall. It's insane! I had a sense it was going to do pretty well. We had a screening of a rough version of it in Burbank, and when we tracked in and I said "Groovy," everyone just applauded it. I was like, "Okay, we got 'em. We're good."

Our previous movie was Crimewave, which went over budget, they took the movie away, they re-cut it, they renamed it, the thing didn't get released, it went from $2.5 million to $4 million. It was really a miserable fucking experience. So we went back to Evil Dead 2, even though Ash was dead. Lest we forget, Ash was dead [at the end of The Evil Dead], credits roll. We were like, "No. Maybe he's not dead." [laughs] It was kind of a knee-jerk reaction to a failed second movie. When your $4 million bombs, we were concerned that that was it for us. "Oh, these guys don't know what they're doing." Where do you go from there? It was $3.5 million, I think, for Evil Dead 2. We did not go over budget, we did not go over time, and we were actually in profit before the movie started shooting. [Producer] Rob Tapert walked onto the set while everyone was doing construction and tells us we're in profit, because of the pre-sales based on the strength of the first Evil Dead. It was a happy place to come back to. It was our comfort zone. We wanted to try some different stuff.

Scott Spiegel co-wrote it with Sam [Raimi, director], and Scott is a huge Three Stooges fan. We had an office in suburban Detroit at an old dentist's office, and these guys would fucking cackle - I mean cackle, not laugh! - at the end of the hallway when they would write. Rob and I, we'd look at each other and go, "What are the doing?! Are they writing a horror movie or a Mack Sennett comedy?" It's because they combined all that crazy stuff. Scott Spiegel just has a wicked imagination, and they fed off each other horribly! We'd have to pound on the door for them to give us the pages.

The overall experience for Evil Dead 2 was probably the most pleasant of the three. The first Evil Dead was a nightmare. It took four years to finish. Army of Darkness, same thing. It went over budget, the studio got pissed, took it away, re-cut it. Then we had to put our own money into it, and we only got a little of it back. It was a nightmare, the whole thing - so I'm glad people like it! [laughs] My wife and I both worked on it. She was the costume designer. Still to this day, we both shudder when we think of about Army of Darkness.

Evil Dead 2 is definitely one of my favorite experiences, and I think it plays well. It's a loopy movie. There's some crazy shit in there, but it's good. We were still young and supple. I was like 28, still made out of rubber.

To wrap up, why should someone pick up Hail to the Chin?

Buy a book if you want to see a little bit of how the sausage is made, if you want a bit of a reality check, if you want to go on some kooky adventures. It's the other side of the tracks. I'm not talking about the big movies, although I dip my feet into big movies. The last 15 years saw the rise of Sam Raimi from schmoe director to Mr. Hollywood. It's been really great to see all my friends blossom. Not everybody makes it. The third [memoir] will be 15 years from now. I figure the next 15 years should be pretty interesting too, to see what happens with the industry. It will be the final confessions, so then you've got your trilogy. Put that next to War and Peace.

[cindycisnuts]

King virus 3/21

Hi Diary,

If only you knew how crazy it’s been lately... I went from binge watching chinese dramas and half zombie-ing it at work as it result to being cooped up at home, sleepless, half frantic about work and half not giving a crap.

First I’ll start off with the drama. I finally decided to watch autumn’s concerto featuring the hottie Vanness Wu (are all Wu’s this hot or something? wink wink) and the girl from the outsiders (she was very pretty in this drama btw, and i actually liked her in it!). After it ended, I felt a void in my soul until one day Eric was scrolling through dramas on Netflix and found that Vanness Wu starred in another drama called Princess Weiyoung. It’s a period drama (i had no idea that that was what it was referred to) - basically those old school dramas - and has sort of that game of thrones feel, but a little less intense, way more dramatic, and it got me HOOKED i tell you. Autumn’s concerto had about 20 - 30ish episodes tops and Princess Weiyoung had 54! Ridiculous, I would have never opted to watch something that long. But I did, and although the drama was at times very repetitive....i loved it with every ounce of my heart - and my gosh, when it ended, i was still obsessed. I was listening to the soundtrack, which consists of only like 5 or 6 songs, on repeat. Shoot, I am listening to it now! After that, Vicky told me about Ashes of Love but I haven’t been able to get into it yet....

Then it’s work. Sleepless nights - at first it was due to watching way too many chinese dramas into the wee hours of the night. Then, it just became frantically trying to get shit done for this new VP of ours. I have never seen a leader so frantic, and sporadic with his requests/decisions. It’s pretty bad, and has added to some WAY unnecessary stress onto this already pretty stressful ass time. To give you some background, back in the CES days, we were hearing about this illness that came about in China. I didn’t know much about it at first, but then my coworker said that he would need to make it back to Asia asap due to his wedding and right after that he shared that they were going to be staying at home. blahblah. Then during Chinese new year you hear more of this virus outbreak from Asia (China - WuHan) and how people were frantically buying facemasks and asking people in the US to ship it over. This was actually around the same time when Kobe passed away, because I remember learning of this more in depth while we were in Vegas for the Gigi concert (oh no, i think that was her name).

I remember that day when I had to fly back home early for work, that Christine gave me a face mask just in case to be on the safer side. Christine is such a sweet friend for sure. Gotta love her.

So yeah, fast forward a little over a month, and we are officially under quarantine in Los Angeles. Is this even real life?

[transbcyfriend]

Every Question >:3

well Shit ig now bc i’m Required By Law to answer these i gotta

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yes – and god am i grateful.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

i mean i’m 18 so uhhhhhhhhh yeah

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

…yesterday? the day before?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i do it all the time at work so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i wouldn’t say mad.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

too many to count!

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

a legend of zelda hoodie and a wild patterned set of lounge pants from pink republic. i haven’t changed in several days i’m uh Sick

8. How often do you listen to music?

if i don’t do it every single day it’s scientifically proven i’ll shrivel up and die

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans. jeans definitely.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

it did at the time, and not for the better. fuck that shit

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

mmMMMMMmMMM depends on the situation?? if i’m like clocked in at work, if i’m somewhere i actively enjoy, or on The Web™, i’m social, but otherwise i don’t rlly interact with ppl hnfngnf

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

not yet.

13. What about ‘R’?

nope!

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

can i get a FUCK NO

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

depends on the person. someone i’m close to and like? yes. someone who i’m not close to and dislike? nah.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

nope.

17. When was the last time you cried?

mmmmMMMMMM a few days ago? few days ago.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yes.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

HMMMM y’know i don’t think i would, mine are like ?? hazel and ppl make comments abt them being diff colors n shit in certain lights sometimes and i Like That so

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

in fact, yes! i would uh Die For Him

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

i’m sick and can’t breathe

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

YOU KNOW I BE ON THAT GAY SHIT !!!!!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

nope

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a wooden chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yep!

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

oh yeah. god yeah.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

@lazybones25 

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, not rlly. last time i got sick was … sophmore year of hs? junior year? i don’t remember.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

it was a gift from my buddy bri

30. Does anyone hate you?

there’s at least one i can think of off the top of my head, soooooo yeah

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

noooo, me? drink? me, a consumer of alcohol. ur pullin’ my leg, i don’t drink

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

i’m just Meh on it bc most movies nowadays are so played out and predictable that they’re just not scary to me

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

kinda, yeah. it’s an on/off want, still deciding.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

just one? fuck. any of the years between being 13-16.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

actually i did! i had a dream i lost my job bc one of my managers was in a bad mood and was basically like “well u should’ve thought more abt your career than ur education, ur fired since u wanna go 2 college, can’t change ur hours”

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

few hours ago.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

mmmm … unlikely.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yep.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

i’d hope so! don’t gotta be, but it’d be cute and i’d Like That

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

it was ok – i spiraled into being sick, but it was ok

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

unlikely.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yep.

44. What’s the best part about school?

mmm mM MM prolly just making friends w/ ppl in ur classes. that, and just how chill the professors are. 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

fun fact – i don’t have a facebook.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

fuck yeah my guy

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

way too often

48. Were you single over the last summer?

nope.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

absolutely not and god i’m rlly happy abt that

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

looking when college classes start again but i Don’t Wanna

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

i’d be lying to ur face if i said yes

52. Are you nice to everyone?

i try to be – some ppl tho, i just. can’t. there’s reasonable salt.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yep!

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve done it before, i don’t see why not.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

when the situation calls for it, i’d like to think so

56. Do you think you like someone?

mhmm

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

…… y’know i don’t think i have! that’s surprising i’ve kissed a lotta ppl

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

tbh p much the only ppl i tend to never rlly make friends with are cis guys. there’s rare exceptions, but the vast majority of my buddies are either cis girls or trans/nonbinary/etc.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yep – a few of them. not many, but a few.

60. Do you hate anyone?

i wouldn’t say hate, but there’s a couple of ppl i severely dislike.

61. How’s your heart?

atm? better. better than usual, i’m rlly glad abt that

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

anytime from being 12-17

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

yeah.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

i ain’t gonna say names buuuuuuut Someone I Know

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they’re painted a dark wine red actually, i uh got bored

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

best decision of my life, if anything

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

from my own Personal Experience, kinda? i mean every person i’ve been w/ kinda likes it bc it’s like, i’m letting my walls down and letting them in, so i mean ig

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

thankfully no!

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

@lazybones25

70. How do you look right now?

surprisingly decent for feeling icky

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

just two – but i’m content w/ that.

72. Can you commit to one person?

under the right circumstances, ya – otherwise i gotta dip

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

my roommate @stasiroowho

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

can i get a Hell Yeah and It Hurts

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, i just woke up wanting attention and feeling Blah

76. Are you a jealous person?

hhMHMhmMMHMHM depends ?? ? ? if we’re talking from a relationship perspective, like i don’t give a shit if the other person wants to like, make a shitton of buddies and like actually Have A Life, that’s good, but when it comes to like, romance specifically? then i’m just. m i n e

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

very rarely, but some are and god is it so fucking satisfying in every aspect

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

can i get a HOOYAHHHH

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to the apartment and uh Feed Cats

81. Last person you cried in front of?

do i rlly gotta @ my homeboi ash a 3rd time

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

in a good way or a bad way?

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

yeee – in a good way tho

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably either just chillin’ watching netflix and eating chips/popcorn, or gettin’ heated while also shotgunning that good good

85. Are you over your past?

CAN I GET A FUCK NO

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

just two! and two’s a good number, i’m happy w/ that.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

i’d immediately murder him on the spot. i’d still take the gifts off his corpse tho bc hey Free Shit

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

ya – i do trust that one, he made me breakfast one time so i wouldn’t burn my own house down, he a tru homie

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

uuuhhhhhhh-huh

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

highly likely

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

i used to! he was the Popular Kid™ back in high school, who fuckin’ knows where he’s at now

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

when i was like 4, yeah, we were each other’s childhood crush so uh shrugs

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope! things were getting heavy, but no relationship yet.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

absolutely.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

hmmmmmmmmaybe

97. Who do you have texts from?

in general? my mom, ash, 3 coworkers, one of my managers, my one tru buddy from the womb @infinitelycastiel, and my buddy lynette.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

i mean ?? i’d b upset, i’d b depressed, i’d b a lil torn up abt it, but i ain’t gonna stop whatever happens from happening. not my choice to

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

ya – not too much older, but ya

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

AAAAAAAALL BY MY, SEEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEEEEEEELF

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

fun fact: no

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yEP