#ask me about construction engineering lmao

[breadandblankets]

CivE Duke - inspired by this post by mysterycitrus

This was one of Duke's favorite parts of his job. Not that one, the other one, the civilian one.

"Duke Thomas," his mother had told him when he got his engineer's seal crimp in the mail. "Is every bit Gotham's hero as much as The Signal is."

Every other week it seemed he donned his steel toed boots, hard hat, and high vis and went to look at the bones of some old building.

Most days were sat at his desk in a nice comfy high rise in Old Gotham, eyes glued to the searing white of some ancient as-builts on his screen. (As-builts, especially in Gotham, were more of a suggestion than a rule, his team had started calling them "Maybe-builts" and it fit more than he'd like.)

Gotham, in Duke's experience, had good bones for the most part. Even caked in years and years of grime, asbestos, and mob snitches, there was beauty in pulling away the facade to look at all that union-made bessemer steel.

Today on the chopping block was a Park Row mid-rise, slated for either refurbishment or demolition, all depending on Duke's word.

It wasn't anything even close to the rush of saving a life, but there is a light feeling he gets, knowing that some old structure can be reused.

Duke knows its a little silly to get sad when something old is beyond saving, especially when he signs over it's death.

"It's like a forest fire," his dad had told him once, after he watched his first controlled demolition. "You gotta burn out the dead things so new things can live."

This building though, Duke has a good feeling about it. Or at least that is what he tells his trainee, Ines, while he scans the building with his X-ray vision.

Ines Borja is a bright kid fresh from the hell that is Gotham U's CivE program, she's not a Gotham native but while living here she fell in love with the city (and it's cost of living). According to her, New York isn't much worse, Gotham's just weirder.

Weird is, unfortunately, Duke's bread and butter. They pick through delapidated rooms with crumbling sheet rock with mostly intact concrete encased steel. He spots some areas with crumbling concrete that he points out to Ines, who dutifully takes photos.

"Those are areas we'll need to test for water penetration and corrosion," Duke explains.

He's explaining other testing that will need to be done, radar of the foundation, metallurgical testing, etc, when they hear yelling outside.

For a moment Duke ignores it, but the hard walls carry echos of what's being said.

"I'm not going to ask again, your money asshole!"

The flat thud of a notebook hitting the ground is the last thing Ines hears as Duke takes off like a shot.

His site walk boots are heavy, much much heavier than his Signal boots. They're for protection and insulation from the hard concrete he has to stand on all day. They're so not meant for running, he thinks as he barrels out of the survey site and around the corner.

There are two figures in the alley when he stomps into the scene, slipping his hard hat off. The mugger is on the younger end, thats about all the analysis Duke gets to do before he sees the gun.

It's nice sometimes, Duke things, as he spins like a discus thrower, to fight normal city problems. He's liable to get bogged down in big world ending shit that sometimes its just nice to save a mugging victim.

The reinforced plastic leaves his fingers in a rush, aimed straight and true, slamming into the gun in the mugger's right hand.

Both the mugger and muggee have a moment of shock before Duke slams into the first guy like a freight train, knocking him out of the confrontation and onto the ground.

"I'd advise you sit down for a moment," Duke says to the would-be mugger, flatly. He turns to the shaking older man.

"Sir are you alright," he asks politely.

"I am now," the older man, well dressed but not wealthy in the way that Duke knows people in the town are. "Thank you very much."

"Alright then," Duke says calmly, he fishes in his pockets for one of the many business cards he always keeps on himself. It's for a therapist, and a good one in Duke's opinion. A profession in too short supply in Gotham. "Might be best if you get on with your day, I'll stay with this young gentleman here."

The older man is clearly a true Gothamite, because he doesn't protest, just moves along. Probably not even the most traumatic thing the guy's witnessed in the last year.

Duke turns to young man on the ground, who hasn't moved a muscle from where Duke put him just a second ago.

"Hey man I don't want any trouble."

Ines chooses this moment to catch up, her skin flushed and she's panting, She is still carrying all the gear with her, which no doubt slowed her down.

"Bit late for that yeah?" Duke questions with a raise of his brow, he motions with his chin in the direction of the gun. It's a couple yards off, resting comfortably with his hard hat. "What's your name?"

"David sir, i-its not even loaded, just to scare people a bit," all comes out in a rush, the young man, David, is clearly terrified.

"Hey, I know, it's hard out here," Duke placates. Out of one of the seemingly endless pockets on his work pants he pulls out his wallet. Out comes two more cards and a couple of bills. "Listen, here's fifty bucks, go get yourself something to eat."

"I-"

"Hold on, I'm not done," Duke says. "This is the information for Leslie's clinic down the street, she can help you with a lot, or just point you towards someone who can. If you need anything else this is the Wayne Ent outreach office, the director there is Elaine, tell her Duke sent you."

"You- you're not going to call the cops?" David asks, bewildered.

"And have them do what? You're robbing a man for twenty dollars with a gun that has no bullets," Duke observes. "You clearly don't need jail time you need a hand."

As if to illustrate his point, Duke reaches out to help him up. David hesitates for a split second, before accepting the offered hand.

"Seriously thought," Duke continues. "Leslie and m-Elaine helped me though some of the worst times of my life okay, reach out to them, they can help, you're not in this alone."

David looked like he was about to cry.

"Thank you man, just thank you."

"Just looking out for my fellow man," Duke replies. "Now get going I got work."

David laughs a little at that before shuffling awkwardly by Ines. Duke turns to look at her.

"You are like, officially the coolest boss I've ever had," she tells him seriously.

"No way, didn't your last boss bow hunt wild boar?"

"Yeah but that's jack all compared to my Apparently incredibly based current boss."

Duke chuckles: "You don't even know about my teenage years."

"What, you were doing child anti-cop anarco-communist action?"

"More or less."

"Based as fuck," she says, amazed.

Duke just shrugs.

"My mom always said: never accept the world as it is, make it better. And so I do, so i will."

Duke turns a little, to look back at the mid-rise that will have new life breathed into it sooner or later.

So I will.

[gracieheartspedro]

Crave

Part 3 of "How Long"

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

find part 1 and 2 here!

dedication: @jenispunk <3 I love you sm jen. thank you for always supporting my writing and being the best wife a girl could ever dream of. you make my heart so happy. thank you for helping me edit and being the first to read this and encouraging me no matter what! love you love you love you!!!

description: a weekend escape with joel and sarah, kinda. the bed situation is a little confusing. luckily you and joel make it work. when sarah's not around, of course.

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING AGAIN, dirty talk, daddy kink (aha), hotel sex?, begging? lmao I think that's it.

author's note: finally. it's here. I feel like I've been staring at this doc for 7 years. thank you all for your patience. I want to continue this series but I have to sit down and really brainstorm what I'd like the next parts to be. let me know your thoughts! THANK YOU FOR READING!

“My favorite Millers!” 

Your face was beaming, seeing Joel hop out of his truck with Sarah in tow. The truck was still running, the diesel engine chugging louder than any truck you had been in before. Joel always had a nicer, newer truck. He made great money and he was always having to go into construction zones that needed an all terrain vehicle. They always got pretty banged up with dirt and rocks, but he took excellent care of the interior. 

Joel grabs both of your bags, taking them to the backseat where Sarah would be crammed in with all the luggage. You give him a nod, silently thanking him. Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, giggling with excitement. 

“I’m so happy you’re coming with us! It’s going to be a great weekend,” She explains while you two walk over to the tall truck. You always found climbing into a truck unnatural and awkward yourself, but it was hot watching Joel hop in with ease. You agree with Sarah, all the while opening up the door for yourself. Sarah springs up to her seat, and you struggle to crawl up into the cab. It makes Joel chuckle. 

“I’m making you lift me into this thing next time,” you joke, easing back into the fabric seats, “Especially since you think watching me struggle is funny.”

Joel looks back in the rear view to see if Sarah’s paying attention, “‘s no problem at all, darlin’. I will gladly help you next time.”

You knew he was flirting. It makes your stomach bubble with excitement. He makes sure you two are buckled and starts on the two and half hour journey to Houston. Once you leave your neighborhood, Sarah taps your shoulder and holds out her new CD player. It’s purple and covered in sparkly stickers. 

“Looks like your Dad is supplying you with all the ways to listen to music,” you observe, glancing over at Joel. He’s just watching the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other propped up on the shifter. He looks younger, the dusk sky the perfect back drop for his pronounced nose and beautiful eyelashes. You couldn’t help but stare, even as Sarah’s talking your ear off. He just nods along to her, making sure she knows she’s heard. 

“Think I’m gonna listen to my Kelly Clarkson CD this time,” Sarah explains, putting her earphones over her voluminous curls, “So don’t try to talk to me!”

You and Joel giggle, shaking your heads at her comment. It’s not like you were the one’s talking before, you both think. 

It gives you both a moment without a kid’s ears nearby. 

“How was the rest of your work week?” He asks, tapping the shifter to the soft hum of the radio.

“Boring,” You mumble, “Think one of the guys in marketing has a crush on me and he’s making it impossible to avoid him. I can’t even go to the break room without him bothering me.”

You didn’t know why you felt the urge to tell Joel about the situation. It wasn’t even a real situation, it was just an annoying thing happening in your life.

“Hmph,” he ponders for a moment, “Want me to kill him?”

His tone is serious, but you know he’s just messing. You grin, nudging his arm with your elbow gently, ensuring it doesn’t move the steering wheel. 

“My hero,” You comment as you watch a smile crack across his face, “No, thank you, though. If it starts to get to stalker status, I will call you.”

“Seems like stalkin’ already, baby girl.”

The nickname makes your stomach flip. You purse your lips, contemplating his words. Sure it was creepy, but the guy was scrawny and you could probably snap him in half with two fingers. He had nothing to really worry about. Right?

Joel steals a glance over at you. 

“Maybe, but I’ll handle it.”

You wanted him to think you were strong enough to deal with unwanted attention, but to be honest, you weren’t sure how to say no to most men. You only ever had Tommy and he scared everyone away. Now everyone around town knew you were on the market, and men were drawn to your natural beauty and somewhat sassy attitude. 

Little did they know, you were hung up on the other Miller boy. 

“You let me know if you need me to talk to him,” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, just reaches his right hand out to rest on your thigh, “Man to man.”

His hand is so warm, you feel it through your black leggings. He was almost always like a furnace, but it was okay, because you always ran cold. But every time he touched you, you felt that warmth trail up your arms and legs. He made you feel different. Every fiber of your being became electrified when he was around. It was a sensation you never noticed when you were with Tommy. You begin chalking it up to just being nervous because he was older and larger and… well, hotter. 

“Again, my hero,” you respond sarcastically, letting your hand rest on top of his. It makes him more confident, gently massaging that area. You watch as his hand creeps closer and closer to the crack between your legs. You practically gasp at the contact, but you catch yourself before you do, remembering there’s a child behind you. 

So you smack his hand away, shooting him a glare. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothin’ just… sorry.”

You didn’t want him to pull away, your leg already missing his touch, but you knew what would happen if you did stuff like that in front of Sarah. She’s a teenage girl. She’ll talk. It’ll find it’s way to someone’s ears. 

You wanted to act like you didn’t care if Tommy found out, but deep down you knew it would be a disaster. You didn’t feel like being the talk of the town. You didn’t feel like explaining yourself to Tommy. You didn’t feel like watching Joel deal with the flack from his family, especially his mother. 

If you two wanted to continue this… game… you would have to keep it secret. That included keeping it away from Sarah’s eyes and ears. You and Joel would just be friends. You would just be her aunt. That’s it. 

“Don’t apologize,” You whisper, “Just not here.”

You two let the radio take over the rest of the trip, occasionally chatting about a song or what the newscaster says about the weather. Once you get into Houston, it’s already 8:30 at night. Joel pulls into the parking garage to the Marriot and you already start craving the bed that awaits you inside. 

-

“I call the bed near the window!” Sarah throws her stuff down, jumping straight onto one the huge queen size duvet. The room was nice. A large television set catches your eye immediately, proving that this was probably an expensive room if they were giving you free cable tv. The curtains were open, giving a beautiful view of Houston’s skyline. 

One thing you notice, too, is the fact that there was only two beds. You knew this, but it still made your stomach sink a bit. 

You realize you three hadn’t discussed the sleeping situation. You didn’t care where you would sleep, honestly. You just knew Sarah was a restless one, having slept next to her in a tent when she was 9. Family camping trips entailed you, Tommy, Joel, and Sarah sharing a 6 person tent and being absolutely miserable the whole entire time. Between Tommy’s snores and Sarah practically flailing all around the tent at night, you remember not getting a lick of sleep. 

“Go get a shower, Sarah. We will figure out who’s sleeping where.”

She groans at Joel, like usual. 

“Dad!”

“Shower,” he throws his bag down on the ground near the dresser, “No arguin’.”

Sarah sulks, her bag in hand, straight to the bathroom by the front door. You don’t say anything. You just start following Joel’s lead by putting your bags down next to his. You stand a bit too close to him, waiting for him to say where you’d be sleeping.  

He clears his throat, “I will take the recliner, if you want the bed.”

“Of course I want the bed, but I don’t want you to have to sleep in the recliner.”

It makes him laugh, how matter-of-fact you are. 

You hear Sarah start up the shower. You wouldn’t have to fear she hears you and Joel talk about the possibility of sleeping with one another. Again.

“It’s not a big deal,” He explains, unzipping his bags to grab his pajamas, “Sleep on the couch all the time.”

“But you have a nice plush couch,” You gesture towards the hard and structured looking recliner, “That doesn’t look comfortable at all.”

For a girl who didn’t want Joel touching you in the car, you were practically begging him to sleep next to you in the big comfortable hotel bed. 

“So, where do you want me to sleep?”

“Just take the bed.”

“But you want the bed.”

You swallow, not even looking up at him, “We both can have the bed.”

He’s silent, gripping onto his sweatpants and t-shirt. He slowly looks down at you, his eyes carry a curious glint in them. You cock your head, giving him a mischievous smirk.

“You and Sarah?”

“No, you and Sarah.”

He groans, “You are a fuckin’ tease.”

You giggle, watching him brush pass you to position himself close to the closet. He opens the closet door, slipping in like he’s looking for something in there. 

“What are you doing?”

“Changin’.”

“In the closet?”

He grabs his shirt from the nape of his neck and pulls it off smoothly. You can’t peel your eyes away, partially seeing his right peck from how he’s standing. It was like the morning after having sex with him. Your eyes were glued to him, his tanned skin practically asking to be touched and licked. 

You horny bitch. 

“Joel, get out of the closet.”

He chuckles, “Why? You want me to give you a show?”

Why yes, I really do, Joel. You think to yourself. You hum a response, peeling your eyes away. You needed to find your pajamas, a pair of Nike sports shorts and a black tank top. Lately, you’ve been sleeping completely naked, but that was obviously not an option here. 

Sarah finally leaves the bathroom as soon as Joel slides his pants up. She has her hair wrapped in a towel, which makes you smile. She looked so grown up, it’s hard to believe you met her when she was 6 years old. You wordlessly walk into the bathroom, beginning to change your outfit for your sleep wear. You splash some cold water on your face, your cheeks still blushed from seeing Joel shirtless. 

You hear the door outside open and close. You peak out, your traveling clothes wrapped up in your arms. Joel stands in the middle of the room, fiddling with the remote for the TV. 

“Where did Sarah go?” You question, packing your clothes back into your duffle. 

“She wanted to go get ice from the ice machine,” He grumbles, “Said she wanted to see if any of her teammates were awake or nearby.”

“Is her whole team staying here?”

“Yeah, pretty much every team gets a floor. Last year it was a like a huge sleepover. Fuckin’ nightmare,” Joel mutters, flicking through different channels, before landing on some westerns. You smirk, deciding to plop down on one of the beds. As soon as you lay back, Sarah comes back in, bucket in hand. 

“Can I go stay in Amelia’s room? Her mom is there, just two doors down.”

Well that solves the bed problem. 

Joel rolls his eyes, you can tell he’s already annoyed. “Is Amelia’s mom okay with that?”

“You want to go talk to her? I promise Dad, we will get up at 5:30 like we need to. Pleas-”

“Let’s go talk to Amelia’s mom.”

You hear them leave the room without saying anything else. 

You were tired from a long day at work and the long drive. But some excitement blooms in your stomach when you realize it may just be you and Joel, all alone in a hotel room. 

Before you have time to ponder all the wonders that may be in store for you, Joel comes back with a frustrated huff. 

“She staying over there?”

“Yeah, Amelia’s mom said it was fine. Then she started askin’ who you were. Guess they saw us in the hotel lobby.”

Your stomach twists, nervous at what his response was.

“And?”

“Told her you were Sarah’s aunt. She gave me a weird look.”

“Great, now the soccer mom’s will be oogling me tomorrow.”

“Well they will anyway,” Joel responds, finding a spot next to you on the edge of the bed, “Single ones won’t leave me alone.” 

You know he’s really just seeing if you’ll get jealous. But you don’t play into his little game. You just let out a loud hearty laugh. 

“The ladies just love a Miller.”

He grumbles something inaudible, nudging you with his elbow. “You do, don’t ya?”

“Sure do.”

His face softens, his eyes flicking down to your lips. 

You grin, “She’s 14 and super goofy. Loves to play socc-”

“You’re truly testin’ me today, ain’t ya?”

You can’t help yourself at that point. The way he’s flirting only gives you more reason to taunt him. 

“Is Sarah seriously going to be gone from the room all night?”

“Yeah,” He nods, leaning back on his palms. He acts like he’s watching TV, ignoring your not-so-subtle hints that you want his eyes on you. 

“So, I can finally ask you why you think it’s okay to tease me in the car?”

“Don’t know what you’re on about, darlin’,” He smirks, he knows.

You tilt your head to the side, finally lifting your hand onto his lap. You immediately start toying with him the same way, your hand creeping towards his crotch. His eyes peel away from the TV. He watches you closely, his eyes trailing from your gaze down to your fingers dancing on his pant leg. 

“You put your hand on my thigh and started inching closer and cl-“

“Are you tryin’ to make a point or pose a question?”

He was getting annoyed with the games already. But you’d only just begun. 

“I’m just trying to explain how you can’t do things like that to me in front of Sarah,” You remark, flicking your eyelashes up to his glare, “Especially when you can’t finish it.”

“Who said I ain’t gonna?”

You huff, “Well here we are, all alone in a hotel room. No kiddo in sight. Still not touching me.”

“Don’t think you deserve it cause you’re a tease.”

“How am I a tease, Miller?”

“You exist and that’s enough. Walkin’ around in a tank top,” He gestures to your chest, “Just beggin’ to be touched.”

Your skin is set alight. The words go straight to your core. 

“Joel-“

You’re cut off. His hands work quickly, pulling you by the nape of your neck, right to his eager lips. You begin to realize you had been longing for this moment for so long. He couldn’t resist anymore, his whole body buzzing at the fact that he finally has you again. 

His lips are soft and slow as they make their way around yours. His hands eventually trail down to your butt, his hands cradling both cheeks. He lifts you forward, sliding you up and onto his lap. 

“Been wantin’ this for months, baby.” 

Butterflies erupt in the pit of your tummy. You can feel them travel up to your chest as you look down at him, his eyelids heavy and his lips pursed.  

He waited for you to respond to his calls, knowing you needed time. He needed to be patient. You would come around, he knew it. After months, here you are. 

He thinks back to every time he was touching himself late at night, he would imagine the night you two shared. Your soft curves and needy dripping pussy. It drove him wild imagining you like this again. 

“I think it’s been more than wantin’, Joel,” You grind down on his prominent bulge growing in his sweatpants, “Think you need it.”

He grins, finally getting out of his own head.

“Such a little tease, damn it.”

You lean down, mindlessly speckling kisses behind his ear and neck. Your boobs rest right in front of his face, and you’re right, he needs it. His hands leave your behind, reaching up to the straps of your tank top. He tugs them down your biceps, allowing your cleavage to spill out more. 

Your hands find his dark peppered curls at the nape of his neck, pulling downward. You needed him closer and he obliged. He starts to kiss your collarbones, wandering down to the swell of your breasts. You can feel yourself staining your sports shorts with anticipation. 

You rock your hips, craving more. He takes the hint, reaching back down to lift you from your ass. He switches spots, laying you on your back on the plush white duvet. He’s leaning over you now, which gives you a great view of how spent he looks already. His gray sweatpants are hanging lower, tenting where his cock has grown hard. 

He smirks, taking off his shirt the same way he did earlier. With one hand, it slips right over his head and onto the floor. 

“Jesus,” You huff out, using the time to remove your top, “I need you, Joel.”

The smirk never leaves his lips. He leans down, pushing your legs apart with his pointer and middle finger. You open up for him, wanting nothing more for him to dive into you in every possible way. You watch as he slides his fingers up your thigh, past the openings of your shorts. 

He realizes you aren’t wearing underwear. He sighs as he swipes the pads of his fingers across your wet slit. 

“I know you do,” He drawls, watching you writhe under his touch, “You need me as much as I need you.”

He practically tears off your shorts, not wasting any time fighting with the fabric. 

You adjust how your laying to accommodate him laying between your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, bringing your hips close to his mouth. You watch as he kisses your inner thighs, his breath hot fanning against your skin. 

You remember the last time you were in this position. You spent night after night remembering the best head you’ve ever gotten, from the one and only, Joel Miller. And you could tell Joel was not going to go another moment without making you cum on his tongue. 

When his tongue hits the top of your slit, you whine at the contact. He presses his face in, diving deeping into your lips. As soon as he finds your clit, he puts all his attention there. His nose is pressed against your mound as he hums against your sensitive bud. 

“Joel,” You cry, reaching down between your legs to grab the crown of his head, your hands lacing into his locks, “Right fuckin’ there.”

He continues his movements, only increasing in speed in which he flicks his tongue. He wraps his lips over the swollen area, sucking and lapping your sweetness. He pulls away, the slick between your thighs missing him instantly. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and wets them with saliva. He glances up at your completely dazed face. 

“‘M gonna fuck you with my fingers first,” His voice is deep and hushed, “Make you cum. You gonna cum for me like a good girl?”

You don’t even know where it comes from. But you say it with your chest.

“Yes, Daddy.”

You never expected the moan to come out of his mouth. It’s deep and guttural. He couldn’t believe his ears, and he can’t believe the words came from your mouth. His good girl? That fuckin’ flithy?

He slips his fingers into you without resistance. His mouth finds it’s way back to your core, fucking you in unison. 

You reach up to your chest, cradling your own boobs. Joel’s still only in sweatpants but they are riding low on his hips. As he’s giving you his all, he’s grinding his hips into the bed, trying to get whatever friction he can. Watching the motion alone is driving you wild, sending your hips rotating on his tongue. You knew the release was coming, you could feel it in your fingertips. 

And when it comes, it’s like fireworks inside your stomach and chest. You lurch forward, crying out his name. You knew it was probably way too loud for the thin hotel walls, but you couldn’t help yourself. The orgasm sends stars speckling across your vision. 

Joel fucks you through the comedown. You are the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, he thinks. When your body rests back, you’re panting, trying to ground yourself for a second. Joel pulls his fingers out and sucks each digit. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” You mewl, reaching out for him. You just need to touch him. 

He shimmies his sweatpants down and off his legs. He’s sitting back on his knees, smiling down at your desperate eyes. He crawls on top of you, his dick prodding at your thighs. He leans down, trapping your lips into another longing kiss. His hands trail down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls back after a couple seconds, gazing into your eyes. 

“You still on that birth control?”

You hum in response. 

“Need me to pull out still?”

You smirk, lacing your arms around his shoulders, “No. Need you to cum inside me.”

He shakes his head, sitting back to line himself with your entrance.

“My dirty girl,” He runs his cock head between your swollen red lips, triggering your hips to move closer to him, “You drive me insane.”

“Come on, Joel. I’ve been waiting for ages for you to fuck me. Need you. Now.”

He chuckles darkly, still not giving you what you want. “Waiting ages, huh?”

“Joelllll,” You beg, smacking his chest, “Please.”

“Mmm,” He pushes forward just enough to relieve your ache, “Love it when you beg for it.”

He practically splits you open when he snaps his hips. You both groan simultaneously, unable to hold back this sick fantasy you’re both playing into. You feel more full than you ever did before. You don’t remember it hurting this good. 

“Holy fuck,” you whine, “So fucking full, Joel.”

He slowly pulls back, “You tell me if it’s too much, ‘kay?”

You shake your head, throwing your head back as he sets a cautious pace. He’s watching all your facial expressions, making sure he’s not hurting you. You wince when he starts to pick up the pace, which causes him to halt completely. 

“No,” You plead, “More. Faster. Please, just please.”

He says nothing, just pushes up your thighs so the back of them are flush with the front of his. He leans over you, his elbows on each side of your head. He grinds into you while his dark curls fall into your face. You tilt your head up, finding the crook of his neck again. 

His cock felt so good dragging in out of you. You felt like you could stay in this position forever. You molded so perfectly around him. He treated you like this beautiful mural, taking his time with delicate strokes. His hands wrapped around the back of your head, holding you in the curve of his body.

You latch your lips onto his neck, peppering lovebites everywhere. You didn’t even think about if they could be seen later. In the moment, you only thought of him as yours. He was yours and everyone would fucking know it. 

He’s starting to get more greedy. He pulls back, his warmth moving away from your perked up nipples. His upper body the best view you could get, so you couldn’t complain too much. He grabs behind your knees, using them as leverage as he starts to pound into you. 

Your eyes meet and for fuck’s sake, he’s perfect. You never knew you could see Joel Miller like this. Like someone who fucked you so good, but also cared so tenderly for you. He wanted to see you in the throws of pleasure, not even worrying about when he’d get his rocks off. He got his rise out of seeing how much you enjoyed yourself.

His ravenous drive to bring you to the edge is causing the headboard to slam against the wall which each stroke. He brings his left hand up to your bouncing tits, grabbing your nipple and tugging on it. He knew what touching your boobs did to you. He remembers watching your visceral reactions to him toying with them before. It brings a smile to his face. 

“I’m gonna-”

You don’t even finish your sentence, you just gasp as you feel his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. A place no other man has made it to. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” He musters out, his teeth clenching as your pussy restricts around him. He means it. He may be drunk on you, but he feels those words down to his bones. “I only ever want this.”

It was never just about the sex. Joel cared for you. Fuck, maybe he even loved you. 

You swallow, propping yourself up on your elbows. You glance down, watching his cock slip so perfectly, in and out of you. 

“I’m yours, Joel,” You manage to peep out before the orgasm you’ve been holding back builds to a maddening point, “I’m yours.”

The words make his cock twitch. He can’t help himself, he needs you to cum right this very moment. He doesn’t say anything, just unhooks your legs and uses his right hand to put pressure on your clit. Tears start to prick in your eyes as he lazily rubs circles, humming in satisfaction. He feels you tightening up, he knows your close. 

Your vision goes white. You body starts to vibrate, the pure bliss he’s sending you into takes you to a whole other dimension. You want more. More. More. More. 

As he watches you seize up, he can’t resist his own orgasm. The explosion sends him into a moaning mess. He fucks into you, painting your walls with his cum, not letting a drop go to waste. 

He collapses on top of you. You don’t even care, you feel like jello anyway, he could melt right into you.

He rolls off after a minute. 

You always miss him when he’s not near you. 

You stare at the ceiling, pondering the right words to say to him. Nothing comes to mind. He gets up, walking naked to the bathroom. He grabs a rag from the shelf above the toilet, running it under some warm water. 

When he returns, you let him clean all around your body. You make sure he doesn’t wipe away the wet kisses he left all over you, though. 

“You okay?”

You finally look at him. 

You want to say yes, because you were okay. Physically. But your heart wanted to pulsate out of your chest. 

“I will be,” You state simply, “Just tired.”

He slowly starts grabbing all your articles of clothing off the floor, dressing you once he collects all of them. He’s careful with you. Gentle. 

“Do you want to sleep in the same bed?”

The question rings in your ears. Of course you did. 

“As long as you get up at the ass crack of dawn and move before Sarah comes in.”

He chuckles, pulling his sweatpants back over his waist. He doesn’t even bother to put on his shirt.

“Will do, baby.”

-

When you wake up, you realize the overheard light flickered on. You contort your sleep dazed body, Joel’s upper body practically laying over you. You try to blink the haze out of your eyes, but your tired mind is completely shocked when you see an outline of a girl. 

Shitshitshitshitshit.

You fling your body upward, rattling Joel awake. He’s startled, his arms flinging off of you. 

“I knew it!” Her voice is piercing. “I knew it! Holy shit!”

“Sar-”

“Are you two dating? Or are you just… wait, ew!”

She’s rambling, her words clashing together in confusion. Your heart is about to hammer out of your chest. 

“Sarah, we aren’t dating,” You declare, your voice shaking. 

“But you’re sleeping together?”

You could cut the silence with a sword. It’s so thick and awkward. 

A 14 year old girl shouldn’t know you’re sleeping with her Dad. Let alone walk in after you spent all night tangled up in him. 

“Sarah,” Joel’s voice is buttery and raspy after he wakes up. You hold the comforter up to your chest. You had your tank top on, but it hangs so low on you, you don’t want to risk anything. “Grab your uniform, get dressed. We can talk about this later.”

“Does Uncle To-”

“Sarah! Stop!”

It scares you since it’s so close to your ear. His voice changes so abruptly, it makes you cringe a bit. 

Hearing the question from Sarah’s lips makes you feel queasy. Having the girl who you always considered your niece ask if her uncle knew you were sleeping with her dad... God what a fucking mess. 

You watch her storm across the room, grabbing her backpack and race to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

Joel groans next to you as he slams back into the plush pillows. 

“She will be fine. We will talk about it later,” Joel says under his breath. 

You open your mouth but nothing comes out. 

You hadn’t thought much of this through. Ever since you and Joel first slept together, you pushed your harbored feelings to the side. Sometimes they creep in, which would send you into a panic. Because deep down, you knew you felt something for Joel. Something you hadn’t felt since you first started dating Tommy. Maybe even ever. It was exciting. He made you feel special. After everything he said to you last night, you knew he possessed some similar emotions and feelings.  

You felt crazy for believing this could work. 

You knew this would be complicated. Now Sarah is involved. How do you explain these emotions to a child? You don’t. 

You think about all the horrible outcomes to this situation. Tommy wanting to fight Joel. His mom never accepting you back into the family. Who knows, maybe Sarah gets so upset at the situation, she never treats you the same again. 

But then you think about Joel. How he’s a night and day difference to what Tommy was to you. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. He wanted to protect you. He wanted to take care of you every chance he could. 

You start to think back to the times when you were still with Tommy. Joel defended you when you two had a blowout fight. He always made sure to have a watchful eye on you when you all went out to bars. He was even there when you graduated college, giving you a bouquet of beautiful daises he swore up and down Sarah picked out. But you knew the truth. Joel loved daisies. He even had his Mom plant some in his front yard last year. 

You were just so scared. You didn’t want to be hurt again. You did not want your feelings to be wrong. 

You glance down at him, your back still turned. He could read your face, he knew you were overthinking everything. Your mind was working overtime, trying to muster up some excuse to run away and forget everything that happened between you two. There was nothing normal about this situation. 

But fuck, you both really wanted it. So bad. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

His hand creeps up your back, resting a reassuring palm on your aching shoulder. 

“Stop thinkin’ for a minute,” he whispers, “You don’t need to make any decisions right this minute. We will just take it one second at a time. Ain’t no way ‘m lettin’ you go. I want you here.”

You didn’t know if he meant here in general or in the figurative sense. 

He meant it both ways. 

Maybe it was crazy, but that feeling was deep in your chest. This palpable inkling that this could evolve into you being his. 

This being more than sex? More than a crush?

Being Joel’s sounded like a fever dream.

He wanted nothing more but to wrap you up into his arms, hold you and kiss your head, reassuring you that you two can figure it out together. But instead, Sarah walks out in her soccer uniform, squashing the moment. She stands in front of the bed, finally making eye contact with you. 

“You guys gonna get up and watch me kick ass, or are you gonna to lay in bed all day?”

You smile at her. You silently prayed this girl would stay in your life forever.

“I know my answer.”

Joel smiles, “’s go kick some ass.”

-

again thank you for reading!! let me know your thoughts!

find part 1 and 2 here!

[goosewriting]

How about a romantic Donnie x Reader, with purple 1 said by the reader? I was thinking maybe the reader has been trying for quite a while to impress Donnie, doing all kinds of things that often only lead to trouble and to a seemingly annoyed Donnie. What reader doesn't know tho is that he's in love with them too, and just really sucked at showing it?

I see you (rottmnt Donnie x reader)

prompt 1: “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”

summary: reader wants to impress Donnie, which leads to a confession. 

relationship: Rise!Donnie x GN reader

warnings: i don’t think this counts as angsty right? fluffy ending!

word count: ~660

A/N: not the avatar sounding title lmao sorry if this one is kinda bland,, i couldn’t come up with anything better sdfdsf hope it’s still to your liking :’)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

– – – 

Ever since coming to terms with the fact that you were crushing on your best friend, the purple clad turtle, you had set your mind to sweep him off his feet. You tried so hard to impress him, even  going as far as taking online courses on programming and reading several chapters of the book “Engineering for Dummies”. You just really wanted him to notice you and figured that the best way to do that would be to impress him with your newly acquired skills.

Since you would hang out a lot in his lab, you started offering to help on his projects. You had done so before, but suddenly you were able to somewhat follow his explanations and contribute your thoughts on the topic, which was met with a raised eyebrow on Donnie’s part. You couldn’t tell if he was intrigued or felt like you were overstepping a line of sorts.

The very few times he had agreed in the past to have you help out was to mainly pass him tools. But now you were suddenly welding one of the simpler circuits on his project. Donnie stopped working for a second and you could feel his gaze on you, still unable to read him, which got you self-conscious and you ended up burning a wire, making the whole thing unusable. You gasped in shock, and were about to apologise and tell him you’d redo it, but he was quicker.

“What are you doing?!” Donnie asked in a rather harsh tone, swatting away your confidence and eagerness to work with him in one blow. He came around the table to stand next to you and basically yanked the tools out of your hands.

By now you were holding back your tears, cursing at yourself in your mind, thinking how stupid of an idea this had been. One choked sob escaped you, and you brought your hands up to cover your face, turning away from him.

“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to see me” you said over your shoulder. “I like you, Donnie. Sorry for being a bother.” 

You were already taking a step to walk out of the lab, but a hand around your arm held you in place. You turned back around to face the turtle, and you could tell his mind was running at a thousand miles an hour. He was looking at the ground with furrowed brows. It took him a moment to figure out what to say. It was a rather uncomfortable silence but you waited for him. 

Donnie was at a real loss for words. First of all, his comment earlier had been way harsher than intended; he just didn’t want you to get hurt. Which was the main reason he was so reluctant to let you help out in the lab in the first place. And second, he liked you too, he just didn’t know how to tell you.

When his gaze finally found its way back to yours, you gave him a questioning look. Before you realised what was happening he pulled you in for a hug. You were so stunned at his gesture that it took you a second to process it and hug him back. When you finally did, you gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“I do see you” Donnie said and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, mainly to hide his face for what he was about to say next. “Thank you for telling me how you feel. It’s the same for me, you know.”

If your heart wasn’t racing before, it surely was now. You two stayed like that for a moment until you separated, a huge smile and tinted cheeks on your face. 

You ended up leaving the lab together to go for a supply run, spending the rest of the afternoon shopping for materials. When you came back, Donnie let you do the circuit again, but this time he helped you, guiding you through the steps.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @hearteyedracoon, @maribatshipper, @whygz, @lovelylovelydreams, @o0-starboy-0o

[earthstellar]

still thinking about Earthspark Bumblebee being stuck with the kids entirely by himself for any slightly extended period of time and it’s so funny 

because I keep thinking about all the stuff kids have said to me when I’ve been babysitting or back when I worked in education and it’s so good 

there is no way Bumblebee would be fully prepared, at this stage, for Child Questions and Statements 

some real things children have said to me: 

-”I’M ANGRY” “thank you for telling me! why are you feeling angry?” “BECAUSE!!! RAIN ISN’T MADE OF ICE [takes big breath] CREEEEEEAM”

-”when the sun goes down it’s good because the sun needs to sleep too, but then the moon comes out at night so when does the moon sleep? WHEN DOES IT SLEEP?” 

(this was eventually resolved by me reading them “Goodnight Moon” as proof that the moon does in fact sleep, because why would we tell it goodnight if it didn’t also have a bedtime)

-”since dinosaurs were real, are we real?” 

-”if dead people live in cemeteries, how do they get their food underground? can we call Pizza Hut? I want pizza like dead people!!! I WANT DEAD PEOPLE PIZZA” (this eventually became “peepza” the longer this demand continued) 

-”planes go up. if I jump hard enough with super jump power, could I go to France? can we get a trampoline? I wanna go to France. WAIT!!! WOULD I NEED A PASS-PORP??? I DON’T HAVE A PASS-PORP!! NOOO” 

-”I AM APPLE MAN” [child proceeds to walk into the room swinging an apple around in a tote bag over his head, like some kind of medieval flail] 

-”I DON’T WANNA PLAY!” “oh no, why not?” “A BIRD POOPED ON MY FAVOURITE TREE” 

-”TODAY I LEARNED WE HAVE WATER INSIDE US!!! NOT JUST PEE!!!! pee pee pee pee pee pee pee pee” 

-”how does the floor work?” 

(legitimately a good question but it will be a while before they can apply for architectural engineering school, we ended up watching a documentary on how Tudor houses were constructed to try to solve this one lmao) 

-”I looked at my pen, I looked too hard, and it stopped working. I have mind powers like Mr Professor from X-MEN!!” [child proceeded to spend the entire day trying to “be strong brained” by staring at things] 

now, of course, the kid/Terrans are a bit more developed than this, a lot of these were from younger children, which is probably obvious 

but I can foresee there being a lot of questions about Earth etc. that Bumblebee might genuinely not know the answer to, or he might get faced with child non-sequiturs that throw him off

and because the Terrans may not actually understand yet how certain natural events (like rain) occur, I can imagine there would be some interesting questions, some of which might be more immediately answerable and some which would probably take more work 

I feel like Nightshade would ask more scientifically inquisitive questions which Bee might not be able to answer, stuff like that

but either way, there would be so many questions 

and some of them are bound to be wild 

lmao 

[swallowtailed]

palisade 61 / finalisade side b track 5

i love when janine pushes plot points because they're always incredible. thisbe is growing an organic divine!!!!!!!!!!! the divine arbor! god it's SO cool

and it's pretty easy to ask, what is really the difference between growth via mitosis and rebirth of a divine via gumption. both are inherent to the organism, right? (also you could read the equiaxed as a similar grafting process.)

anyway love to take concrete action in the precarious space as the boundary of a social construct. thisbe's plotline in the finalisade has been so compelling to me. standout of the season tbh

i'm still very very curious about how thisbe's been growing this divine (what did it start from??), but i'm sure we'll get into the implications eventually

interesting discussion of invasiveness in this ep re the divine pollen gambit. i would also like to contextualize said gambit in terms of solar geoengineering, specifically the various aerosol injection proposals that have been put forward in recent years. which are all just so... fucked

(i really do not have the time rn to put together actual analysis using geoengineering ethics (or invasiveness, even. which tells you exactly how much i do not have the time) but i do think it'd be interesting)

oh lmao and while i'm on real world analogues, the pollen injection concept is literally just crispr. space magic crispr

anyway the thing i loved about the space magic crispr approach was asepsis being a conduit for the divine arbor to grow on/in motion. asepsis as a decomposer turning motion into substrate for plants... pulling the embodient of undeath back into the cycle... fucking excellent

thisbe rights

ok other non-plant notes

banger intro. it's cool to see the season-long motif of movement framed as a defense of stillness. also obv we're familiar with motion & undeath at this point but it still hits tbh

also the new music was great

cori and the dad smashers band tour tshirts when

really enjoyed cori's honorable duel that she won with the power of love

brnine and thisbe... who are you to each other... please do not die...

levi doing mad max was very fun

feel like there's been a lot of "stratus-style" descriptions lately. curious where the definition/role of strati currently stands

can feel the fatt engine spinning up now and i'm excited about it

[twobrokenwyngs]

Jackie I'm still saving the last ep but. I need to hear your thoughts about TD. Is there a tag where you've screamed about it? Or feel free to do it again!! What do you love about it. Tell meeee

screaming and crying over this ask tbhhh

firstly - I do have a true detective tag! and a rust cohle tag! and a rust x marty tag! and although I don't have a distinct tag for meta & such, I infuse most of my reblogs with an insane amount of unhinged raving in the tags, so, lmao. it's def there if you want it! XD

secondly - there is actually a lot I can't say without you having seen the last episode, in particular the way the show ends. one of the things I love is the fullness of their arc(s) and the way they're changed by the end, for which you gotta see how it wraps up!!!

all that aside though... man. why I love this show is almost too big and amorphous to answer lol, but I'll give it a shot!

lmao whoops this got long

I mean... one obvious variable is Rust himself. I am so endlessly compelled by both the tragedy and the potential of him. by thinking about who he used to be - when he had Sophia, when he had Claire. he tells Papania and Gilbough that the job didn't make him that way but that being that way made him right for the job, but was he always that way? was he always a lonely jaded cynic, a product of growing up in the Alaskan wilderness with nothing but his imagination and his synesthesia to keep him occupied? is his nihilism baked into his DNA or was it carefully constructed after a lifetime of being abandoned and disappointed, used and discarded? the thing about him is that he wears that nihilism on the surface, almost like a badge of honor, but there is always this pervasive sense that he is in a state of grief for the things he no longer allows himself - love, desire, softness, comfort, hope. he has made himself into this target for other peoples' pain and bullshit because it slides right off him, so he might as well, right?

like, the whole thing with Crash... that REALLY fucks me up. episode 4 is actually my favorite, and Crash is definitely a huge part of that. he accesses a whole different part of himself to inhabit that person. you can tell that during his time with the Iron Crusaders, he was like... their pet. fed drugs and passed around, used and abused, all for the sake of "the job," but it so clearly was a way to exercise self-punishment, an excuse to remove himself from polite society and just give in to his baser nature. when it came time to put Crash back on, he donned him like a second skin, confident to the point of mania, in a way that breaks my fucking heart. I could go on and on about Crash tbh, it almost warrants its own post lol.

and then there's like, the way he has somehow both no relationship with his body and yet a strict routine for its upkeep. he keeps the engine running (or at least he did, for a while) but he doesn't allow that body so much as the dignity of sleeping with a bedframe. he doesn't use it for pleasure, he barely knows how to control it when he's not using it for his job. and yet, every single thing about his physicality compels me. his slouch. his gait. his little mouth noises. matt mcc I can take or leave, but I think Rust specifically is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen or ever will see.

okay... let me move on to Marty. Marty is fucking fascinating to me. he's a bastard and an asshole and a hypocrite and I think so much about the way insecurity rules his life. he makes all of his choices based on what he thinks he should want, what kind of man he thinks he should be, and he will delude himself to the point of absurdity in order to realize that vision. (it's why, in my headcanon, comphet plays a huge role in his relationship with Rust and with himself, but that's another story.) like, Marty doesn't actually want to be a family man lmao, but, he has to want to be one. where Rust has given up all illusions of being any sort of person at all, Marty has made pointed decisions about what kind of person - what sort of Man - he is, and that's that. so, nothing slides off him, because everything challenges his fragile sense of self. he overcompensates, he's a product of generational toxic masculinity - by all accounts he's a total stereotype. but like... that's what makes his relationship with Rust so goddamn irresistible.

there's just so much going on there, constantly. Marty claims not to want to get to know Rust, but he can't stop digging and prying, and his protests about what he finds are so... performative. he can barely show up for his own family in the most basic of ways but he's constantly bringing Rust food & coffee, voicing concern about the way Rust lives, trusting him, vouching for him - he cares. so much. and because there's no road map of Expectations to dictate that care, he never becomes suffocated by it. and Rust, despite himself, can feel all of that. it is no small thing for Rust, the eternal lone wolf, to have a partner. he most definitely knows Marty thoroughly - knows when he's lying to himself, knows when to call him on it and when not to. for Marty, he makes a space. carves a notch into the solid rock of his soul and reserves it for Marty alone. after their split, he never really recovers. neither of them do. Rust never fixes his taillight, Marty lets everything dissolve once and for all and spends years alone with his microwave dinners, because what's the point? what they felt when they were together, what they had, was incredibly profound and deeply beyond articulation (they're not willing to do it, even if they could.) and it is truly in the finale that you see the veracity of that change, what means to unexpectedly reclaim the thing that changed you.

anyway, this was just sorta a stream of consciousness, not particularly considered and very off the cuff, and therefore barely skims the surface of why I love this show. I'm sure I'm leaving out so, so much. and of course, it doesn't even touch on the baser reasons I love it/them - I love stories about bitter washed-up old men!!! I love the idea of what they could mean to each other! theirs is some of the only fic I've ever cried at or reread. their happiness, their future, is so ridiculously important to me. and I love the music! and the southern gothic vibes! and Rust's scraggly long hair and his insane mustache and how good he looks in that black shirt when he takes Marty to the storage locker!!! I love that from that first episode, the moment Rust showed up at Marty's door plastered and crying, I knew I was done-for. I mean. y'know?!?!?!

welp lmao. I don't think all THIS is what you asked for but it's what came outta me, so, hey. thank you for giving me a reason to think about them tonight!!!

[kaeyachi]

What do you do in architecture?

oh! i can answer this one quickly before i go back to work! Thank you for the ask!!

Are you perhaps considering becoming an architect as well? Let me tell you first that Alhaitham's criticism of us doing so much work just to put a smile on our client's faces hurt so much because he was right (I was fuming with Kaveh at that moment lmao).

I'd honestly say that our job as architects, at the base of it, is to design structures or spaces that fit the user/s needs and/or wants.

Majority of us do a bidding phase where we offer designs to our clients for them to emotionally destroy us tell us the changes they want until we reach a final design.

Afterwards, that depends on the kind of Architecture firm you own or work at(some only do design and get paid for it. Others can continue towards the construction phase along with the help of people in the engineering field)

I personally work in a construction firm (the biggest in my country which i wished i were proud of, but I'm fairly sure the amount of stress and fatigue is never worth the prestige I get for working here lmao. Cant quit though *sobs*). We do basically everything from start to finish (and I work 6 days a week for 9 hours daily so tbh how am I still coping).

As for other kinds of architecture (if the usual job isnt your thing), some dabble into historical structures and study the history, how ancient to old structures were created, and ways to do proper reconstruction, restoration, or renovation (all 3 have different meanings to us) said old structures.

Another type are those that actually have focuses like acoustics or landscaping for example. They will only design specified places and get paid for the design of said spaces (these people are specifically hired for their expertise most of the time)

And there are others that absolutely loathe the usual jobs and end up becoming furniture designers (we studied this in passing where im from) or fashion designers (weve technically also studied this somewhat in passing?) and somehow, several peers of mine have become pastry chefs? (i guess there is technically some architecture involved in pastries...)

Honestly, there are multiple routes you could take once you get the undergraduate done... but that's a very lengthy discussion, and I think I've been typing for long enough? Even if I wanted to discuss every single one (they're very interesting to me), I don't think I should do it as an answer in tumblr hahaha (I might make one for my peers though hmm...)

IF YOU DO WANT TO GET INTO ARCHITECTURE DON'T LET MY RANTS STOP YOU FROM TRYING THOUGH. You won't know you like or hate it if you don't try...just expect sleepless nights to reach deadlines (the worst I've done is just a cute 52 hours lmao). I've definitely gotten an even worse experience thanks to my adhd :(

I want everyone to know that I will be a Kaveh haver someday. I will get my anxious architect character and no one can stop me.

If any of you want clarifications or more information, do not hesitate to ask! I'm still passionate about my field- it does feel very fulfilling- I just hate the place I work at lol.

[disredspectful]

heya! I was scrolling through the tags on that ask-culture post and saw yours, and just wanted to stop by to say that that's really cool!! I was enamoured with the idea of the large hadron collider when I was a kid-- what was it like working there (if you're allowed to say)? do you have any interesting stories from those days? and were any of you amused at the rumors going around back then, that "when they turn on the LHC the world will totally end!1!!"?

(my own "funny" anecdote: I remember playing Zelda: Twilight Princess and eating a cheese sandwich that day, patiently waiting for the sky to light up or some black hole to appear, even though I knew it was fearmongering newspaper bullshit lmao... just the awe at the thought that we had a construct so powerful to smash atoms like that was rocking my world, I was so excited to see what things we would discover from it!)

Hi anon, thanks for asking!

The experience of working at the LHC will probably change a lot depending on when you are there and what you work on. I've met a few people who work on "beams", which is all about the low energy proton systems that get things started and the focusing magnets and stuff, but most people I know are on one of the four big LHC experiments: ATLAS, LHCb, CMS, and ALICE. So there's always people who do almost purely data analysis, but I think it's fun to talk about the hardware of the detectors themselves and what it feels like to work on them.

People who work on ATLAS probably have the most boring experience. Not that their detector isn't cool (it's very very cool), but ATLAS is located at the main CERN campus, so I don't think there's really much of an "ATLAS control room culture" different from the general CERN campus culture. Noone has to bike between CERN and the control room, or take the shift bus at 6am (all the bus drivers have fantastic music taste btw). They can go to the main cafeteria. Being "on a detector shift" just sort of has less of a vibe for them.

I'm going to talk about the LHCb detector because I'm fairly familiar with it and they just rebuilt the WHOLE thing in 2019-2023. So it's like they're back in 2009 again really. LHCb is about a half hour bike ride from main CERN, tucked in between the back fence of Geneva airport and a McDonald's (I like to joke that the detector is under the McDonald's but it's not). So when you're on site at LHCb, you have to hang out with other people from LHCb! And during the rebuilding period, you also get to meet a lot of the technicians. Not everyone who works on the LHC is a physicist, on the detector side we do also have some awesome people who help us put the damn thing together (electrical engineers and former mechanics). There's a lot of gruntwork to be done to put a detector together, and for me it involved cleaning and plugging in a whole lot of optical fibre connectors (to the sound of the disco radio station). There was this one spot on the stairs to the scaffold we called the "helmet check": there was a pole sticking out and people usually duck enough to miss it with their head, but still hit the helmet. Working on scaffold 3m up in the air to reach the top of the detector parts is cool.

The detector pieces are mostly assembled above ground and then moved downstairs when they're complete. To be clear, "downstairs" here is 100m underground by elevator. There's a big cylindrical hole on site ("the pit") where detector components can be lowered in by crane. I just think that's pretty cool!

Anyway if you're friends with the detector teams, you get to hear a lot of the "real facts" early and without politics. Sometimes you try not to admit the detector is behind schedule on construction until after someone else has already admitted to needing a delay. Sometimes everyone can tell that a deadline is going to be missed but you can't announce that too early just in case your estimate of how much you'll miss the deadline by is too far off. Sometimes you hear that something is broken a few days before it's officially announced. Sometimes you hear that another detector asked for a beam stop and it was to try to get a bird out of their detector cavern (I don't think they ever found the bird). I know in the early years there was a months long repair shutdown caused by a pine marten chewing through an important power cable. LHCb has a local cat that drops by to visit and people put photos of it on twitter.

I wasn't on the project early enough for the first turn on, but I was really glad to be around for this upgrade period. Seeing the detector up close really gives you a sense of the scale (huge), and working on the details really lets you know how much time and care and effort goes into it. And that's without even discussing the software and computing stuff! Huge project for humanity overall, such a privilege to be there myself for a little bit of it and have put my hands on it (while appropriately electrically grounded of course).

The whole thing was a pretty unique life experience. Long and busy days at the detector, but cool, and having lunch (or on site BBQ) with my colleagues was always great. I think I'll always miss it, but I don't regret changing jobs to have a better work life balance.

Don't know if that was what you were hoping to learn, this was kind of a hardware and lifestyle based ramble. Feel free to ask follow up questions or ask more about the science/data analysis side, there's lots of stories there too!

(And if you're in Geneva over winter, try to get yourself on a tour of one of the detectors! You can't go in the other months when the beam is on, winter is guaranteed Tour Time but there is sometimes a week or so in summer.)

[leeyanyanyaaan]

About the Time and Memory Universe + Random Tidbits :)

About:

SO... this Time and Memory Universe of mine is just a self-indulgent, college, slice-of-life series that I do not plan on legitimately writing 💀

It may or may not also include time travelling and dystopian features... I'm yet to decide

Yes I know it has a lame ass name but I'm terrible at titles LMAO

It's more friendship-centred than romance, but all the characters are open-ended for ships :P

But yeah, there's no legit plotline. They're just struggling college students and a gang of friends :D it'd probably be an SMAU

They may be underdeveloped, but they are a work in progress!

PLEASE ask me questions about them (or literally any oc of mine) I'd be so happy to talk about them 😩🥺💕

The Full Cast:

Character Profiles pt 1 | pt 2

Education Majors

Cornelia Lee Anne Santos ('04) - Baby of the group, studying as an educator (unsure yet)

Joshua Jeongseok Lee ('03) - Friendly classmate, studying as an English language teacher

Angelina Mariel Bautista ('01) - Mom of the group, studying as a literature teacher

Samsul Hakim ('00) - Oldest, mentor, peacemaker, studying as a secondary teacher

Communication Majors

Jessica Jisoo Lee ('03) - Hangout planner, Big sis, studying as an advertising designer/event planner

Elijah James de la Cruz ('03) - Introvert adopter, chaos mood maker, studying as an interpreter and translator

Elena Mae de la Cruz ('03) - Keeps her brother in check, studying as a journalist

Design Majors and Others

Beatrice Abigail Mendoza ('04) - Childhood best friend, BFF, studying as a game designer

Kevin Shuchang Chen ('05) - The quiet but savage one, games 24/7, studying as a game developer

Yukiteru Sakimoto ('04) - Cafe worker, studying as an architect

Gabriel Zackary Santiago ('04) - family friend, coworker with Yuki, studying as an engineer

Supporting Characters (aka idk where to put them 🤡)

Daniel Chanyeol Yoon ('02) - Popular rich boy, studying business management

Seonghoon Kim ('03) - Tired of that guy above but his best friend, studying finance

Caleb Jayden Ramos ('04) - Childhood friends to strangers, studying construction

Vincent Nathan Steyn-Khan ('05) - Arrogant asshole classmate, studying engineering

Height Chart:

Now for some fun random stuff XD

The main gang's group chat (+Lee's contact names):

Barely Functioning Braincell Sharers™ (8)

Elijah (Eli)

Elena (Ate Ellie)

Jessica (Jessie Unnie)

Joshua (Josh)

Mariel (Ate Mari)

Samsul (Sam)

Kevin (Vin)

Lee

Headcanons

Ellie and Jessie first met being classmates since intermediate, bonding over having twin brothers. The brothers eventually meet too and the four have been pretty close ever since.

Eli met Kevin through being in a club together, and Eli being the extrovert, adopted the introvert.

Josh met Mari and Sam being in the same education course and often worked with them and they eventually joined the group.

Similarly, Josh meets Lee through the same process. Coincidentally, Lee caught Eli’s interest and he adopted the introvert too.

Eli and Ellie bicker the most and cause the most silly drama. Surprisingly, Kevin is one to start drama too. Eli tends to be the butt of the jokes. Mari and Sam are the parents of the group, and everyone babies Lee (and Kevin).

After hearing Lee call Ellie and Mari “Ate”, Jess insisted that Lee call her “Unnie” too

Lee bonds with the girl twins the most, talking about drawing, designing, writing, and music. 

Karaoke, dancing, gaming, binging, and study sessions!

Kevin isn’t usually called by nickname, BUT, only Lee is allowed to call Kevin “Vin”.

Hogwarts!AU

Gryffindor

Elijah (H)

Elena (H)

Jessica (H)

Zack (H)

Caleb (S)

Hufflepuff

Joshua (G)

Mariel (R)

Samsul (R)

Beatrice (R)

Yuki (R)

Ravenclaw

Kevin (S)

Seonghoon (S)

Slytherin

Lee (R)

Daniel (G)

Nathan (G)

Podcast/SM!AU

BFBS have a podcast called “ChillPog” (Eli came up with the name, please think of something better.)

They started it during their first year of uni, when the gang got together. Lee and Kevin have become a new addition.

They all use online aliases, eg. Lee = leeyanyan

Their real names get used in the podcast most the time anyways.

Yes, they all have clips and compilations of each other from fans.

They just chill and chat, talk about anything and everything. They have game nights, karaoke sessions, study sessions and all sorts of things.

Kevin, Eli and Samsul are gamer streamers.

Jess, Mariel and Yuki are vloggers.

Ellie (often joined by Eli and Jess), Zack and Bea are cover artists.

Ellie is also a content creator, and is generally all-around.

Lee is an underground casual cover artist. She hasn't told anyone about it and doesn't plan to :)

They each all have their own fanbases, Lee’s growing after her involvement with ChillPog

They’re basically like DanPlan/Plan3

They also have a second account for when the group needs to split into two for 4-player games

Jess, Ellie and Lee are in charge of the visuals. Ellie, Eli and Kevin are in charge of editing. Everyone else helps plan and storyboard.

Zack, Yuki and Bea also occasionally appear on the podcast.

Daniel is a model, Seonghoon his assistant. He gets fawned over at campus most the time.

Caleb and Nathan are Instagram influencers

Their Usernames:

Eli (EliJ) - the chaotic butt of the jokes guy

Ellie (emmielina) - picks a fight/gets bothered by her brother the most

Jess (Jijisoo) - their lovely sun

Josh (joshualee) - voice of reason

Mariel (Mariella B.) - mom of the group

Samsul (Hakimsul) - tired dad leader of the group

Kevin (Shuunken) - savage bastard

Lee (leeyanyan) - gremlin baby

[preemshots]

johnny + the nomads lore

alright, i know this is a screenshots blog but i'm going to go ahead and start dropping some juicy lore tidbits as i dig them up. part of what i'm doing outside of just photo diarying is shard hunting, and BOY is there a lot the game likes to hide in those little shards for idiots like me who like to read so we can write unnecessarily accurate fanfiction! 

full disclosure, i know jack shit about the TTRPG/cyberpunk 2020 rulebook except what i read in the wikis. 

so here’s my lore roundup so far of everything i know about johnny joining the nomads

we know johnny likes to narrate v’s quest objectives. here’s the first mention where he says it himself: 

during the voodoo boys quest "transmission" there's a shard in the maglev tunnels beside the ice bath, presumably from brigitte's research into johnny in the first place:

okay, so the timeline is this: johnny joins the nomads after trying and failing to rescue alt. johnny hides out in the badlands for some years. then he and rogue come back to night city and nuke arasaka tower help alt escape the arasaka subnet by uploading liberator to their network once and for all.

this ultimately makes sense. in alt’s flashback, we meet santiago, who is a nomad/connected to nomads, joins rogue and johnny when they're trying to get alt back, and eventually becomes the leader of the aldecaldos. 

part of santiago’s TTRPG lore is that he, johnny, and rogue have to lay low in the badlands with nomads after they storm arasaka headquarters (i am aware the game takes many liberties with the original lore so who knows the full accuracy of anything from the original rulebooks)

ENDING spoilers: in the rogue+johnny storming AHQ ending, it's revealed that rogue has a son while they're prepping for the job. if you eavesdrop on her calling him while you're at the afterlife, you hear her tell her son to (paraphrasing here) "pull over and look at the stars", which immediately made my brain go to: nomad, badlands, santiago = dad? maybe. (santiago also canonically has a son according to the TTRPG lore)

this immediately reminded me of another interesting shard that i believe you can find in multiple locations around night city: “"what REALLY happened in arasaka tower?“

i love this dang shard. at first i thought it was just a cute conspiracy with some juicy gossip (and i love how 99% of the shards that mention johnny in this game are reminding us that he's not a real rebel, he's a poser) but it brings some interesting shit together

one: it tells us where johnny got his hands on the nukes! he and the nomads jumped a militech convoy and jacked some bombs! 

which is never directly explained, even as saburo arasaka is interrogating him shortly before using soulkiller. very nice of johnny to protect his homies like that. 

...or maybe he didn’t. saburo emphasizes that the dead don’t lie like the living do, and we don’t know what exactly arasaka did to johnny’s construct in mikoshi. 

it also explains why the obvious media narrative is that militech nuked arasaka, a nice neat political bow to the end of the fourth corpo wars, which is an entire section of the TTRPG lore that makes my eyes cross when i read it. 

it also makes the star/nomads ending extremely interesting, because i originally believed it was the ending where V’s journey deviates the most from rewalking johnny’s path... which also has weird implications if the johnny’s nomad era is being kept from v. 

(this also leads into my belief that the star ending/the devil ending are narratively two sides of the same coin, but that’s a WHOLE ANOTHER POST for another day.)

TWO, just straight up the fact that they turned the raid where they actually obtained the nukes into an action flick BD that pretty much ANYONE could watch. who the hell was doing that?? 

well, who else other than the guy who johnny (optionally) punched the shit out of for filming alt's death: thompson, media guy, and according to rogue, “bad luck”. because you know, recording your crimes is straight up evidence that can be used against you.

during the alt flashback we meet thompson, and just after that in cyberspace before meeting alt, johnny tells v that he has no idea what happened to him and that they never worked together again. 

oh, johnny, you lying bastard man

this is blatantly untrue, and if V even had two braincells and better memory than a goldfish they'd know this--in the first flashback sequence where johnny and rogue nuke arasaka tower, thompson is on the comms as they ride the AV towards AHQ, questioning their plans and use of violence. 

which leaves me with some questions, like where the fuck is thompson, why does johnny keep lying about this, why doesn't johnny say almost anything about how you interact with the aldecaldo clan nonstop throughout the game when he himself may have been a member of the family for some time?? is he continuing to protect the nomad clan that saved his ass? we know that a lot of his flashbacks are unreliable at best, that johnny changes shit up as desired when presenting V with his memories.

in 2077, you can also find that there’s a remake of “badlands raid” in the shard “new release braindances” that is pretty much everywhere. that shard doesn’t add much, but does mention something along the lines of “many people don’t know the ending of the original” which probably means johnny punched thompson out for filming again, or something. 

my running theories: rogue ditched santiago and the aldecaldos with johnny and thompson to nuke arasaka tower, and when johnny died she was stuck looking for (heavily implied by johnny here:) corpo sellout ways to survive.

adam smasher obviously has something to do with this since johnny/rogue's vendetta against the guy isn't entirely clear beyond the smokescreen of "he killed johnny and he sucks". i have done 0 research into this though i'm tired of typing okay

i obviously cannot be certain i have found everything related to this in the game as i’m not even done with this playthrough where i’m trying to pay attention, but i hope this is fun for someone else to dig into. 

enjoy, fellow silverhand freaks

EDIT: additional findings

ALRIGHT I HAVE DONE MORE DIGGING AND I AM BACK WITH MORE NOMAD/JOHNNY FINDINGS. these ones are kind of a bummer but VERY interesting.

there’s a shard called “excerpts from a history of the nomads by bb pires” that goes into detail about how nomads came to be

there’s an interesting quote in it: It's hard to imagine a group less inclined to wandering than farmers, but in fact they were the ones who sparked the age of nomads. Natural catastrophes, crops ravaged by bioplagues, armed conflicts and martial law allowing corporations to speculate and privatize land - all this forced them into a life on the road.

when you ask johnny why he wants to take down arasaka, he begins by referencing this himself!!

it’s a little awkward to imagine a nomad V doesn’t also know what he’s referencing, but hey, V is the fool because we are as players and that’s only one life path... so sure.

johnny also has unique dialogue during this scene about a nomad origin V, telling them that he’s been trying to understand how V thinks, and came to the conclusion that “their family was a crutch” and essentially made them stupid because they always had a safety net (lmao johnny calling v privileged basically)

BUT this also may reference why johnny would find it confusing as hell that V doesn’t immediately share the views he does when nomads, in terms of values, seem to be more aligned with johnny than V is. but once again V is the fool for a reason and this is all my own speculation so YOU KNOW.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, at the end of chippin’ in, when you ask johnny what he meant by letting down his friends... santiago is named directly

i thought this was interesting since the only glimpse of their relationship that we get is seeing johnny meeting santiago via the alt flashback for the first time.

so now it’s obvious that while johnny and rogue were with the nomads their friendship developed, and johnny went on to disappoint santiago in some way by being his normal dickhead self

but HOW? how did he disappoint santiago? is santiago even still alive?? did smasher kill santiago and is this why rogue mentions during chippin’ in that she wants smasher to “settle a score” moreso than avenge johnny??

the only additional hints i have are from this shard, which you can find at the aldecaldos camp: “nomads at ground zero”

i’m just gonna transcribe here and bold for emphasis:

It was no secret that Night Corp offered generous pay and, in some cases, free cyberware and biomonitor upgrades to anyone willing to help clean up the crater of radioactive rubble at AHQ ground zero. Some firsthand accounts recall the incessant ticking of Geiger counters, like the loud buzz of cicadas in summer. In retrospect, we can only guess how many "crater cleaners" lost their lives to radiation sickness shortly thereafter. Both the city government and Night Corp have claimed casualties were kept to a minimum, while providing no official statistics to substantiate the claim. That being said, they have never been under pressure to release such figures. After all, most rescue, engineering, and rubble cleanup teams were not local Night Citizens, but nomads. Surprised you didn't know? Don't be. It is a fact many history courses tend to overlook. The city employed hundreds of nomad mercenaries, primarily from clans in Aldecaldo nation. These nomads were hungry for gainful work and the city needed experts who were not only experienced but brave enough to knowingly put their lives on the line - all so Arasaka could one day erect another tower in its place. But history is not without its sense of irony. These nomads, who so deliberately live outside our so-called "system," came to its very rescue. Not for the first time. And not for the last.

a main theme we find in this game is the idea that the system of corps and exploitation cannot be stopped by grandiose rebellious gestures--no amount of samurai songs, assassinating mayors, or even planting nukes in towers will change things. yet johnny, his friends and mercs at atlantis in the 2020s, including rogue, chose to rebel any way they could, thinking it better than not. johnny criticizes her lack of rebellious spirit CONSTANTLY in 2077.

but ultimately, johnny, trapped in mikoshi, didn’t get to see the outcome of what detonating the AHQ nukes did to night city’s fragile ecosystem. rogue, however, did--and likely watched their former allies, the aldecaldos, be forced to take dangerous work at AHQ’s ground zero (from lack of other opportunities as detailed in this shard), then die from radiation sickness throughout the following decades, all as a result of what she and johnny did to try and fight the system. and she also watched all the former mercenaries of atlantis be hunted down by arasaka.

so rogue sees firsthand what the cost of rebellion is and johnny doesn’t. and nomads, considered the most free of any of the factions we encounter in the game, are the cost.

[explosionshark]

Jackanda for the what made you ship it thing pls

this one's for you and @peachythesequel who also asked me about them

What made you ship it?

well. they're hot, is the thing, so that's where it started. i think i stumbled onto oneshot or something someone wrote for the me kinkmeme aaaages ago and once the idea of the pairing got into my head i became very

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i think i'm exposing a theme in my favorite ships here, but i love narrative foils. jack and miranda have trauma and backstories that are near perfect parallels. they're both literally 'products' of someone's desire to create something perfect. jack was kidnapped, experimented on and tortured with the intent of creating a perfect weapon and it made her into a brutal, violent, extremely, unscrupulous person who constructed an aggressive persona to keep herself safe. miranda was engineered to be the perfect heir and controlled and manipulated until she ran away, and she made herself into an extremely competent, perfectionist cerberus agent to stay safe. she constructed a persona of cold, emotionlessness to keep herself safe. but they're both deeply vulnerable! they're both traumatized in such similar ways! THEY COULD UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IF THEY COULD ONLY LEARN TO CO-EXIST

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i'm a cliche it's literally the same thing. miranda's total domme, i think jack is a switch. i guess also the idea that there's potential for them to have a relationship built on mutual care and respect and not just hatefucking is unpopular for some parts of the fandom.

i think a lot of people who like them together came onto the ship as a side pairing and don't actually put a lot of thought into the characters, so their reads on the potential are shallow lmao

[jngles]

Thoughts You Definitely All Asked For on ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 2 Finale!!

These are in chronological order for the show.

One of my biggest fears about them reintroducing Boba Fett was that by removing some of his mystery, they would make him less cool. Thank god that has not been the case. He’s still an aloof and nasty piece of work but with dimensions added.

We all know the Empire is most often a metaphor for America right? At least when it’s not being Nazi Germany? The Imperial pilot talking about destroying an entire planet (of peaceful weaponless civilians no less) to stop terrorism hits a little too close to home of the nuclear bombs the US has dropped and the endless destruction of the Middle East in the “war against terror.” And of course we frame all our wars in similar language like “our troops died to keep our country safe,” which hasn’t really been true since WWII.

I do think it’s worth noting that this is the first time SW has had someone acknowledge the human losses of the Death Star blasts. Usually it’s framed as a loss in construction time, strategical advantage, and power. The Empire proved time and time again that the lives of its soldiers were utterly expendable, which always made me question why people remained loyal outside of fear. Through this pilot’s phrasing, you can see the propaganda Imperial superiors used to twist the truth to their followers, always blaming those deaths on Rebel aggression instead of prideful Imperial neglect (I.e. not abandoning ship when there was still time) or even direct Imperial aggression like Operation Cinder where they fired on thousands of their own (discussed in S2E7.)

You can’t tell me Din wasn’t into it when Cara shot that asshole pilot. That cold faced revenge shot? 100% Mandalorian style, and also very very hot.

I appreciate that it was a pretty equal match between Boba and Koska Reeves. So much of Boba’s advantage comes from his suit, but since she also has one, it’s a battle of wits on how to use it, and they even out. This both maintains his legendary badassery and also that of highly trained Mandalorian warriors, and hopefully avoids asshole chauvinist SW fans on the internet complaining abujt “pandering to feminism” (fuck off @ all of them, especially since Mercedes Vernado who plays Reeves is a WWE champ and could kick all of your asses.)

Din point blank asked how many Death Troopers there are and Dr. Pershing never answered, and that annoys me.

Why is no one suspicious why Dr. Pershing is being so helpful and revealing so much information? He totally did not have to tell them about the Dark Troopers or any of the specifics of locations on the ship. He’s still with the empire post-fall, implying he’s a loyalist, so... wtf on his part (since no tricks come of it), and “be smarter” on the part of everyone else. Unless he’s been captive as a clone engineer all this time. But couldn’t he have made his escape back in Season 1 when Din killed everyone at that lab to get the kid back?

Bo Katan really could’ve just told them how the retrieval of the dark saber needs to work in the flight before the mission instead of being vague about “he belongs to me.”

Boba Fett’s usage of “Princess” and “don’t worry about me” are a good throwback to Han Solo and the culture they both grew up in. You can never quite tell if it’s based in misogyny or resentment for upper classes, but both of them seem to use it as a shield for begrudging respect they hold for a woman they think is brave but following a fool’s errand (the Rebellion and retaking Mandalore).

The Comms Officer (Katy O’Brian) assisting Moff Gideon will forever and always look like Ilana Glazer to me, and then I get swept up imagining what would happen if the Broad City cast accidentally got transported to Star Wars.

The launch tube sequence has some amazing cinematography.

The second I saw Boba was cut off from the pack, I really thought they were going to kill him again and make his return bittersweet. Glad they didn’t.

God this team of Bo Katan, Koska Reeves, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune is SO BADASS. I’m just obsessed with all these characters and their various motivations to get shit done. I honestly didn’t even think about the fact it’s all women until my re-watch, showing that the writers made it feel natural, the way women deserve to have their representation done. You can bet I am SO EXCITED for my future daughter and the wealth of possibilities she’s going to have of characters to play pretend as, action figures she can relate to, Halloween costumes to wear, etc. It’s so validating that we’ve gone from only Princess Leia as a female main character to all these women + Rey, Jyn Erso, Ahsoka, etc. etc.

Can’t wait for the trap remix of the Dark Trooper activation noises. (And the transition from that to the minimalist flute theme is perfect.)

The spy movie version of the main theme music is sick.

The Dark Trooper droid faces have a lot of similarity to Darth Vader’s mask. That callback is especially apparent when the one is literally lit from the inside with fire. He was already a martyr/legend to the Imperial remnants, Kylo Ren didn’t start the trend of ignoring his redemption.

Cara’s “excuse me” right before shooting up Stormtroopers is hilarious. Literally “can’t talk rn, doing hot girl shit and murdering space Nazis.”

Finally an Imperial ship got some frickin security cameras. Truly- the amount of times people just wander down hallways they’re not supposed to be in with no one being able to find them throughout the course of Star Wars is ridiculous when you think about the degree of surveillance our real life society carries out. I also love that this means The Mandalorian characters have also seen The Mandalorian.

The storytelling does such a service to Pedro Pascal and his already heroic efforts to portray emotion through a helmet. For example: Din easily could’ve killed the one stormtrooper outside Grogu’s cell much more efficiently, but instead, to show his absolute rage, they wrote in Din choking him out with a spear.

Moff Gideon would have been the BIGGEST pain in the ass in philosophy class. “Assume I know everything” my ass. I want to hear about his backstory (he would’ve been “coming of age” at the time of the Clone Wars) mostly just to hear about him getting bullied at school.

Smart move honestly, to try to tempt Din with the Mandalorian throne, given the Mandalorian power struggles of the past. Proud of our boy for keeping his priorities straight.

So has the blood from Grogu been transferred out of the ship and back to the remnant empire already, or do they have to find a new “donor” to help with building Snoke and Palpatine’s clones? Will they continue to go after him with Luke?

Lmao Din being so annoyed by Bo Katan being stringent about the tradition of winning the Dark Saber through combat is HILARIOUS, coming from a man who up until like a day ago hadn’t shown his face to a living being in decades.

The dark troopers can punch in blast doors but NOT Din’s helmet?? That’s a wild testament to beskar. Somehow that’s the comparison that sticks out to me, more even than its resistance to lightsabers.

This show works because of the cynicism of so many characters adding contrast to the moments of heart. Cara Dune is not a “fan” the way Rey was (for the record I love Rey, don’t come at her, it’s just different). Cara doesn’t see an X-Wing and go OMG THE REBELLION I LOVE THEM. She’s been through too much to believe in the magic saviourism of the “good guys,” and is instead thinking strategically when she, the one Rebel present, brushes off the usefulness of “one X-Wing.” The only positive things she seems to feel in battle situations are moments of relief and brief satisfaction in hurting the empire, with a dark knowledge that it will never make up for the hurt they did to her.

How do you keep a cloak hood on while fighting? Both from a technical standpoint (my hats fall off without me even having to move- is he expending force energy just to keep it on and look cool lol?) and also because idk, maybe it’s just me, but peripheral vision is helpful when surrounded by killer robots on a thin bridge above oblivion. I know his first lesson was to “see” through the force, but every resource helps, right?

Now that she has the ship, I wonder if Bo Katan can reprogram any salvageable Dark Troopers to help with retaking Mandalore?

There is nothing like seeing Luke’s fighting style, with its efficient choppiness and twinge of darkness. I always wonder how much is natural and how much is influenced by his first fights with Vader (that Skywalker diva flair). I love how they’ve advanced his technique but also kept him extremely “grey” here- like to straight up COMBUST a Dark Trooper takes some violent energy lol.

How tf is Moff Gideon alive after threatening Grogu’s life twice directly? That’s a wild testament to Din’s regard for Cara.

I love how seeing Luke slice through a bunch of murder droids like butter probably was a huge point in his favor for Din actually letting Grogu go with him. Like he will only send his child to boarding preschool if he knows the teacher will be a certified killing machine.

Oh my god they finally brought in some OG Star Wars theme music for Luke to take his hood off to 😭 It felt weird seeing him fight to different music, so the emotional payoff is huge when his themes come back for the face reveal.

Whoever added the digital young Mark Hamill face NAILED those classic shining Luke eyes and the earnest eyebrow lift.

Whoever shines the glass of Baby Yoda’s lil puppet eyeballs each day deserves a raise. The light caught in those babies is devastating.

Din is shaking as he takes off his helmet. This is the most enormous show of love he could give him, and possibly the last he’ll be able to for a long time. He only just got Grogu back and is desperate for a moment of real connection before letting him go once again.

This is the first time anyone has touched Din’s face since... likely his parents as a child.

Whoever wrote this scene clearly actually has kids. Anyone who’s ever had to leave a young child even just to go out for a bit or to drop them off somewhere knows that heartbreak of seeing them look in your eyes and hold on to your leg, trying to keep you with them. Especially when they can sense your mutual separation anxiety. The one thing that starts to make them feel better is something fun like a new toy or friend who can be their guide in the new environment, and R2’s friendly introduction is exactly that (since digital Luke isn’t being particularly emotive or child friendly... I hope that’s just because he’s reaching into Grogu’s mind while also keeping an eye on the multiple people with guns trained on him, not because he’s going to be totally unfeeling raising this kid.)

I love that Grogu and R2 are immediately buddies in contrast to Episode 5 when R2 was like “fuck this guy” @ Yoda stealing food and hitting him with a walking stick lol. I would imagine Luke must be reminded of that first introduction too and entertained by this display of playfulness in a *positive* light between R2 and mini-Yoda.

I need to know if Luke and Ahsoka have met- it is KILLING ME.

Does this mean Grogu will get killed by Kylo Ren when he fucks up Luke’s academy??? I will reincarnate Ben just to kill him again if that’s the case.

How does Luke not even fully SMILE at Grogu?? An adorable little baby version of his beloved master Yoda, and you’re telling me he doesn’t have the same heart stopping gasp we all did when we first saw him?? Maybe he did when they first connected through the force. He has a bit of bemusement on his face, and also wonder in his eyes, but I want a grin of recognition and welcome, dammit.

I really wish Luke had somehow acknowledged Cara Dune. Everyone else seems to see the tear drop Rebel sign and know it means Alderaan. He could’ve been like yo I have a badass warrior sister from your planet that you should meet. Or just “thank you for your service.” (I know this actually wouldn’t have been cinematically good but my heart wants it.)

Luke didn’t tell Din his name?? Or ask for any details about the kid and his care?? I could literally never let my kid go with someone, regardless of how worthy, and not be like, “Excuse me sir who are you and where tf are you taking my tiny beloved green goblin in case I need to find him? Here is my contact info. He likes to eat frogs and eggs, and he can have macarons as a treat. He’s 50 years old and his favorite toy is still a ball. Bedtime is 8pm and he’s allergic to dairy.”

Another reason I wish Luke had identified himself would be to see the mishmash of reactions that would ensue. Cara would be like DAMN IT’S THAT GUY WHO BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR AND KILLED THE EMPEROR, ACT COOL (and she would indeed act cool). Fennec would be like ugh it’s that guy who helped kill my best paying client Jabba the Hutt and then fucked over my boss Boba, I helped save the kid for THIS? And I would LOVE to know how Bo Katan feels about him, assuming she’s heard of him, and especially if she knows he’s Anakin Skywalker’s son. That confusion is probably the reason WHY the writers didn’t have him reveal himself- they didn’t want to break the emotion of the scene.

Let‘s all be real I’m just being needy about wanting things from Luke because of what he meant to me as a kid and my resulting innate need to have more canon of him, whatever it is, whenever I can get it. Especially in this form that’s so similar to ROTJ, a movie I watched on endless repeat. Even getting this was incredible though. Who else could we trust this lil heart-stealing green bean with so fully? Yet who would be so arrogant as to try to train a baby yodling (see: Ahsoka’s wise refusal)?

R2 is reckless as hell lmao. Not that we don’t already know that, but for him to just head on in, effectively abandoning Luke’s ship (how can they know if there are more troopers or not who might blow it up?) and also putting himself in the path of the ridiculously deadly Dark Troopers is NUTS. I’m usually on his side but he absolutely deserves a scolding by C3PO for this one.

I wonder if Grogu has any memories of R2 or vice versa since they did occupy the Jedi Temple at the same time. Can Grogu understand droids? They could swap stories about mutual acquaintances.

Does Din pretty much have to go with Bo Katan now since a) he’s shown his face and may not be able to go back to the Watch, and b) because he has the darksaber and has to figure out how to get it back to her without dying?

How in the hell did Bib Fortuna (whose chins age was not kind to) go from being butler to being boss? Were all the henchmen just like, “Fuck yeah, no Hutt parents no rules, let’s do what we want!!” And then they’ve spent the last ten years living off of whatever money they could salvage from Jabba’s non-banked wealth? Why has no one challenged them for that prime real estate and loot? I would love to hear that story.

Fennec Shand says “respect sex workers” so you better fuckin’ do it.

Idk dude Bib Fortuna really was a good butler, and he seemed pretty willing to comply with whoever’s in power. Did he screw Boba over in his attempt to return from the dead and earn that killing shot somehow? Or was this to make sure there was no one left who would have a claim to loyalty? Or maybe Boba just really wanted to sit in that chair.

Does “The Book of Boba Fett” mean we’re not on Din Djarin’s story anymore? Or is it a new show? I would much prefer the latter. I want to see Din help retake Mandalore or at least get a hug.

[untilweyeetagain]

and i’ll be okay admiring from afar (max mayfield x fem! reader)

Pairing: Max Mayfield/Fem! Harrington! Reader

Word Count: 3337

Warnings: One swear at the end, period-typical homophobia

Notes: This is so self-indulgent lmao,, I hope some of yall like it but even if you don't it doesn't matter bc I really just wrote this for me haha. title is from she by dodie

“Hey, Max, pass me the popcorn,” you whispered, aware that other people in the cinema were still trying to watch whatever movie was playing. You didn’t particularly care what the film was - you had let Max choose it because you knew that you’d spend your time staring at something other than the big screen.

The redhead grabbed the popcorn from where it rested on her lap and wordlessly passed it to you, smiling at you when you whispered your thanks before returning her attention to the movie. 

You had spent the last hour of the movie stealing surreptitious glances at the girl next to you, hoping that she was absorbed enough in the action that she didn’t notice. She was beautiful, but you already knew that. The dim lighting in the movie theatre seemed to reveal another type of beauty in her though - the way the lights from the screen danced across her features was mesmerising, and the way her eyes lit up in wonder at the screen in front of you caused your heart to skip a beat more than once.

Having lost yourself in your thoughts once more, you didn’t realise that the film had ended until you heard Max shifting next to you, grabbing her bag from where it lay at her feet. You quickly jumped into doing the same, not wanting her to know that your mind was elsewhere.

“So, how’d you like the film?” She asked as you made your way out of the cinema. You scolded yourself in your head - you should have at least paid attention to some part of the movie because she always asked the same question whenever you two went to the cinema together. 

“Um, it was great! You know I prefer comedies to action films, but it was still entertaining. What was your favourite part?” You deflected, knowing that asking that question would send her into a (very cute) ramble about all the best parts of the movie.

As predicted, she immediately launched into a speech about her favourite moments and characters in the film, gesturing wildly in her hands to explain her thoughts about a particular scene. You could honestly listen to her for hours, just to hear her sound so enthusiastic about a topic. 

You both made your way through the newly-constructed mall and out towards where your brother was going to pick you up, Max still talking about the movie and you still listening intently, hanging on to every word she said. 

Sometimes it worried you, how deeply your feelings towards Max ran, but at other times, such as now, you were just content to be in her presence, ignoring the way your heart stuttered whenever she glanced up at your face. 

When you reached the doors of the mall, you and Max made your way towards Steve’s car, finding both he and his friend/coworker Robin occupying the front seats. You pulled open the trunk of the car, grabbing Max’s skateboard and passing it to her before throwing your bag in and slamming it shut. 

Turning around, you opened your mouth to say goodbye before pale arms wrapped themselves around your torso and a mess of curly red hair was pushed into your face. You blushed heavily as you returned the tight hug, willing the redness in your cheeks to retreat before Max pulled away. 

Eventually, Max broke the hug, but before you could see her face, she spun around and skated off, shouting a goodbye into the air as she gained speed. You called out a quick goodbye too, but it was likely she didn’t hear it, as she was already quite far away.

Deciding to not question why she just ran off like that right now, you clambered into the backseat of your brother’s crappy car and he started the engine, and as he pulled out of the parking lot, Robin turned to you and asked how the movie was. You mumbled something about how it was very intense, repeating some of the things Max had said earlier, hoping that Robin would be satisfied with that answer.

After a few minutes with no reply from Robin (or any input from Steve), you sighed and rested your head on the window, wistfully watching the houses as you passed them as your thoughts turned towards Max again. You knew how you felt about her - you’d known for quite a while, and though it was hard, at first, to feel okay with having a crush on your very female best friend, you were now comfortable enough in your sexuality to admit it to yourself, even if not to others. 

The only people who knew you liked girls were, coincidentally, the other two occupants of the car, and while they both knew you liked someone, neither of them knew who (but you had a sneaking suspicion that Robin was beginning to work it out, being the observant person she was). 

It had been a great relief to be able to come out to someone you knew would be okay with it, and Robin had been the first of the pair to know, for obvious reasons. She was like the older sister you had never had, and she had comforted you when you had cried to her, still trying to figure out your sexuality - she had reassured you that she didn’t hate you and that Steve wouldn’t either. She had been there when you told Steve too, and, true to her word, Steve took it very well, and had even joked about you two being able to talk about girls together now.

“It’s Max, isn’t it?” Robin whispered, pulling you out of your reverie. Her statement shocked your thoughts into disarray, but at the same time, it wasn’t surprising that your latest parting with Max had solved the puzzle for her. 

You nodded, unable to find your voice as tears began to gather in your eyes. Your throat felt full, clogged with words you couldn't say, and your eyes started to burn with unshed tears that you refused to let go. You’d known for so long about your feelings for Max, but hearing them spoken aloud was difficult. 

Robin reached around behind her to pat your knee in a comforting gesture, and Steve met your eyes in the mirror, a soft look on his face. Just having the pair of them be so nice about it is enough for the tears to start rolling down your face, all the pent-up worry you had about telling anyone that you were crushing on your best friend evaporating as your brother and the girl who is basically your sister are both so understanding and kind about it.

After sharing a glance with Robin, Steve turns his gaze back to the road as he breaks the silencing, stating: “You should tell her - even if she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s pretty damn clear that she cares about you enough to not ostracize you because of it.”

You snort despite yourself at the words he uses - he’s clearly been hanging out with Dustin and Robin way too much if he knows what ‘to ostracize’ means. You can tell that it was intentional, that he knew the response it would garner, and you are thankful to him for easing the tension you felt. 

“It’s not that easy though, Steve. I know that she’s my best friend, but what if she decides that she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore when she finds out I like girls, let alone if she found out I liked her. I couldn’t risk our friendship by telling her. She means too much to me.”

Sighing, you turned to face the window again, trying to signal to the other two that the conversation was over. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing Max’s friendship, especially over something you could quite easily keep from her, although hiding it was becoming increasingly harder as the days passed and your feelings became stronger.

Luckily for you, neither Robin nor Steve pushed you any further, and the three of you spent the remainder of the drive to Robin’s house in silence. Once Robin was safely inside, Steve drove back to your home, which you already knew would be empty. Your parents were never home, always out on business trips or vacations, leaving the house to just you and Steve. This had made it ideal for sleepovers with the Party when you were younger, but now that you were in high school, it was more lonely than anything else.

When you got home, you went upstairs and lay on your bed, grabbing your Rubik’s cube from your bedside table and fiddling with it as your mind drifted elsewhere. It was silent except for the clicking of the cube as you played with it until a tapping on your window interrupted the peace. 

Feeling slightly confused, you got up and walked towards the window, opening the blinds to see what was making that noise. Below stood Max, a couple of pebbles in hand, just getting ready to throw another one when she noticed that you had seen her. You raced down the stairs to let her into the house, wondering what she was doing here.

“You could’ve just rung the doorbell like everyone else does. My parents are never home and Steve doesn’t care about who comes over.” She stepped around you to come in as you spoke, and once she’d propped her skateboard against the wall, she turned around to face you.

This close, you could see the tiny freckles that covered the bridge of her nose and her cheeks, and you also thought you could see a pinkness beginning to tinge her cheeks, but that must’ve been your imagination. Before you could ask her why she was here, she began to speak.

“I- when I got home earlier, my dad, he asked where I’d been, and I said out with you, and then he said that while I was out, he’d been through my things in my room and found my old diary, and- and- and he saw what I’d written in there, and then he- he said some really, really mean stuff, Y/N, and t-then he… he kicked me out because of what I’d written in there,” she was sobbing as she spoke, choking on her words as she tried to get them out, and you immediately wrapped her in her arms, trying to tell her that it was going to be okay, even though you had no way of guaranteeing that. 

She took a moment to try and catch her breath as she continued to cry, and then she began to speak again. “I had nowhere else to go, Y/N, I- I’ve got no money or clothes or anything, I just grabbed my skateboard to get out of there before he physically threw- threw me out. Please, can I stay here for tonight? I just need to let him calm down, and-” You cut her off before she could finish her sentence, pulling back from the tight hug you had wrapped her in so that you could look her in the eye as you spoke.

“Max, you can stay here for as long as you need, okay? Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay. You can borrow some of my clothes, we’re basically the same size, and you can take one of the guest rooms,” you said, trying to reassure her that it was going to be fine. 

As you were talking, you heard your brother come down the stairs to see what had happened, evidently having heard the door open and then the sounds of conversation. You briefly explained what had happened as you held Max close to you again, the redhead in question trying to calm her breathing. At your request, Steve disappeared upstairs once more, off to make sure the room Max would stay in was ready. 

“Hey, Maxie, let’s go upstairs, shall we? We can go to my room while Steve sorts out yours, and if you’re okay with it, we can talk some about what you wrote that made your dad do what he did, alright?” You coaxed her up and into your bedroom, sitting down on your bed with her. Her arms were still wrapped around you tightly as if you were her lifeline, and she hadn’t said a word since you’d started talking.

You heard her sigh as she loosened her grip on your torso, flopping bonelessly back against your pillows and reaching for your hand, wanting to maintain some sort of physical connection while she tried to explain what had caused this situation.

“First, before I tell you anything, I need you to swear to me, truthfully, that you won’t stop being my friend when I tell you this. I need you to promise me that things will stay the same between us, no matter how you feel about what I’m about to say.”

“I.. I promise, Max, but I don’t understand why this is really necessary - nothing could make me hate you or stop being your friend! You’re my best friend, Max, and nothing will change that.” It worried you slightly, how serious Max had become about this, but then again, you reasoned, she did get kicked out for this. 

“Okay. So, uh, I don’t really know how to say this… um, okay. I’ll just spit it out. Here we go. Y/N, I like girls. Not.. not boys.” Never in a million years could you have guessed that she would say that. But she had said it, and it was causing your brain to short-circuit. Max took your silence as you hated her for it though and immediately began rambling, tears forming in her eyes and falling down her cheeks.

“I- I’m sorry, I know it’s not okay or anything but I can’t help it, and-” you cut her off, tightening the grip you had on her hand as she tried to pull away. 

“Hey, hey, stop crying, alright? I was just… shocked, which is why I didn’t say anything. But I don’t hate you and I’m not gonna stop being your friend, okay? So please, please don’t worry about that. It would be quite hypocritical of me to not support you liking girls, after all.” 

You maintained eye contact with her until your own confession, when you tore your gaze down to your lap, blushing heavily. She picked up on what you had meant quite quickly, and when you glanced up at you, she was grinning widely.

“You- you mean…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I, um, I like girls too.” 

It was a relief and a half to finally get that off your chest to someone whom you didn’t view as a sibling. There was silence between the two of you for a while, both of you trying to process what the other had just revealed. 

All you could think about was that Max likes girls, Max likes girls, she actually likes girls! and although you knew better than to get your hopes up, you did secretly wish that because she liked girls, she’d like you, but you knew it didn’t work like that.

Still, a whisper of hope remained in your heart as you spent the rest of the evening trying to distract Max from her worries with more light-hearted conversation. Steve ordered pizza when it was time for dinner, and the three of you watched some dumb game shows while eating it, laughing over the ridiculous answers some of the contestants gave.

By the time you felt tired enough to sleep, Max was already half-way dead to the world, so you supported her weight back up the stairs and then grabbed her some pyjamas to sleep in. After you were both changed, Max dragged you into her room for cuddles, still needing comfort and reassurance from you.

It didn’t take long for Max to fall asleep, but sleep seemed to be evading you - your heart was hammering too hard from your proximity to your crush for you to feel even a semblance of tiredness. 

Eventually, you began extricating yourself from Max’s grip (the girl was surprisingly strong, even in her sleep) so you could get back to your own room. When you were free of the sleeping redhead’s hold, you looked back down at her, taking in the peaceful look on her face.

She was beautiful all the time, but now, she was… breathtaking. The thin light of the moon, unobscured by unclosed curtains, danced across her features, making her seem to glow. She was an angel, then, with an aura of serenity and a halo of hair surrounding her head.

Seeing her like that, all of your control flew out of the window and you acted on impulse, leaning down from your perch beside her to lay a small, feather-light kiss upon her forehead. It lasted only a second, but that second was enough for you to feel how soft her skin was under your lips, and you wished you could kiss her all the time just to feel it again.

Your heart was racing as you forced yourself to move away from her, making your way towards the door, but you stopped dead in your tracks when you heard Max’s soft, sleepy voice from across the room.

“Did you just… kiss me?” She asked. Fuck. Clearly, she hadn’t been as asleep as you had thought. You had no idea how to respond, your mind drawing up blank as you tried to think of something, anything to say.

“... Yes,” you whispered hesitantly, still not turning to look at her even as you heard her shuffling around to be able to see you better. You knew what was about to happen - she would tell you that she didn’t like that, and would either stop being your friend, or your friendship would just be really weird from here on out.

“Come here,” she said, holding out her hand to you, and you never could say no to her, could you? You slowly made your way back to her bed, taking the extended hand and going to sit down on the bed before you found yourself being tugged to lay back down next to Max, who nuzzled her head into the crook of your neck as soon as you were close enough. 

“Why?” she asked, the word coming out slightly slurred due to her sleepy state. It was the question you had known was coming but had hoped wouldn’t be voiced.

“Because I,” you started, getting choked up on the words you had suppressed for so long. “I like you, Max. As more than a friend.” There. You said it. There was no taking it back now, but you had some reassurance in the fact that she may not remember it come morning.

You had expected Max to say something after that, so you were fairly surprised when she lifted her head and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. It wasn’t like how first kisses were always described in fiction - there were no fireworks or anything extreme like that, just a warm feeling of affection flowing between the two of you.

“I like you too,” Max murmured, pulling away from your lips and snuggling back into you. She fell asleep quickly, leaving you with your thoughts, the memory of her kiss playing on repeat in your head. Feeling tired yourself, though, you pushed your analysis of today’s events from your head to be dealt with tomorrow and cuddled into Max, finally falling asleep in the warmth and safety of her arms.

Much later in the evening, a tired Steve Harrington is making his way towards his bedroom when he sees the guest room door ajar and, feeling curious, peeks inside to see his sister and her friend tangled together in their sleep. He smiles softly, closing the door behind him as he moves away, thinking about where he’ll get the twenty bucks he now owes Robin.

[lizacstuff]

EPISODE 34 - Sen Çal Kapımı/Edser Asks

(asks under the read more)

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the episode? I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel which is the end of this current storyline. Very much looking forward to Eda & Serkan being reunited at which point I will delete episodes 30-34 from my memories. This episode to me had the same vibe as 32 which overall had the feeling of actual progression for Eda & Serkan. It has been said before but the amnesia storyline and Serkan falling in love with Eda again could have been much more enjoyable with better writing and no Selin or Deniz but this is the plot we were given. So hoping for another Edser filled episode that includes Serkan professing his love to Eda in front of everyone.

YES, LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. Me too. I think we’re close to being rid of Selin and Deniz. 

As for the episode, it was a LOT better than the last one and was probably the easiest episode to watch since 28, but it’s still part of this unenjoyable arc. I agree that it had a similar vibe to 32, which was one of the best of this stretch. The writers seemed to have fixed the Edser screen time issue that plagued the last episode. I always want more, but there was enough in this episode to where at least I didn’t feel cheated. The episode was a lot lighter and had more of a romcom feel than any since Serkan lost his memory and I welcomed that as well. There were a number of very enjoyable Edser scenes AND the icing was very little Selin. 

That gave the episode room to breath, and room for Serkan and Eda to breath, which was much needed. 

Their bickering, starting at the station was fun to watch. And while I was pretty skeptical about an episode centered on Serkan trying to get Eda to admit her engagement is fake, it lead to some fun scenes. Him taunting her in the office about love gave us back some of that old romantic comedy sexual tension. Engin’s couple game gave us a few good moments, but, wow, it was really, really poorly constructed. Seriously, Serkan, you have to find someone savvier to do this sort of work for you. Leyla would have been better, even Erdem would have done better! Probably.  But the looks that Eda and Serkan were giving each other through that sequence gave me life. Squinting, peering one eye open, but always finding one another. Good stuff. 

As for the boxing, I’m glad they waited to do that sequence for a time when she had some anger at him to deal with! It just wouldn’t have been the same if they’d been playfully sparring. I equally enjoyed her beating the shit out of him and how hot her climbing all over him was. 

The catwalk was hot. Like really, super duper, 5 alarm fire, hot. I love that the editors made a 30 foot runway seem like it was 300 feet. And when they turned and she put her hand on his shoulder. I swooned. I don’t even care that it makes no sense to ask your architects to walk in a fashion show... though when one of your architects is as next level beautiful as Eda, you can see why they’d want her. (Sorry Selin, they probably saw you walk at the charity show too, but passed) Though why did they want Deniz? He’s not famous or attractive. It would have made more sense if they’d wanted the famous and handsome Serkan Bolat from the start. Though this way was more fun. GO MELO. BEST FRIEND EVER. Can we get her some sort of prize? She has her dada’s back, ALWAYS.  Serkan and Eda are going to owe her for life.

Having Eda fall off the boat was... extra. Especially since I’m sure she will be fished out no worse for the wear right off the top. Is it too much to ask that Serkan accuses Selin of pushing her? Please!?!?!?

Anonymous said: is it bad that deniz is now annoying me more as a villian than selin.. granted, last ep selin had very little screentime (thank god) and when she was there was usually playing third wheel to edser.. but deniz is slowly getting worse and worse.. manipulating eda into continuing their fake game and now basically pulling the puppet strings with selin. as much as i hated how ceren told serkan about the fake engagement, i WAS rooting her on when she yelled at him about him taking advantage of eda.

Deniz needs to take a long walk off a short pier. Good gawd he’s really turned into a psycho, hasn’t he? 

Look, I know Eda and Serkan are both awesome. They’re insanely good looking and charming and smart and successful, BUT, PEOPLE, even they are not worth losing your dignity and your sanity over. Balca, The Prince, Selin and Deniz... all gone crazy over them.

With Selin this episode, though, she sort of struck me as resigned to her fate. Like she’s still going through the motions of being a psycho stalker and playing the game, but deep down she knows she’s lost.  She’s seen this movie before, she knows what it looks like when Serkan is falling in love with Eda, and she knows it’s happening again and that she doesn’t stand a chance. She’ll keep trying on the off chance Eda gets hit by a bus (or falls off a boat) and because she is seriously not right in the brain, but she’s lost all her swagger. 

Think about all StalkerSelin has witnessed. In 30 she saw them having intense moments by the fire, in 31 she saw them having intense moments on the boat. She knows Serkan took off on her birthday to go help Eda with the project and they spent all day together. Then later that same day she was abandon by him before she could blow out her candles so that he could go save Eda, then she saw him sleep snuggling with Eda, all so they could come back and she could go spy on him planting terrariums with Eda and then he lies to her face and she watches him go to meet Eda for dinner. In this episode, Eda and Serkan were bickering about whether or not Serkan was staring at Eda and they didn’t stop when Selin entered the office and neither one even seemed to noticed her! Serkan is fixated on Eda and Selin knows it. 

She was acting defeated before she got the photos. Now that she has them... what will she do? Crawl in hole and die? One can hope!

Anonymous said: just general thoughts: i was able to enjoy this episode way more than the previous ones and not cause there was miracle occurrence in the episode.. but because there was minimal selin lol. the selin fatigue is real!!! it also helps that while yes, serkan was teasing and trying to rile eda up, he wasn't using selin to do it this episode. for some reason with how it's going (and with neslihan's emoji spoilers for next ep) i do believe he's gonna remember at the end of next ep.

The Selin fatigue is real.  They really ruined what could have been an interesting and good batch of episodes by inserting her unnecessarily into the plot. I really think amnesia was enough drama and enough of a stumbling block without this aggravating nonsense. Every second she is on screen is a chore to watch. 

As for him remembering at the end of next episode, it’s possible. A lot of people are out there selling spoilers (which almost every source of spoilers has been so wrong so many times, that I’m not sure why anyone pays attention to any of them anymore) that he remembers by the end of the next ep. 

Here’s the thing though, he has to tell Eda he loves her before he remembers.  That’s what all of this has been leading to, him falling in love with her again from scratch, so as long as that happens, it’s plausible. But any theory that involves him getting his memories back and then going after her... doesn’t ring true to me. I mean with this batch of writers anything could happen, (because they have some issues) but if they do that, then I have no idea what this entire arc has been about. 

Anonymous said: The mystery person has got to be Ferit, right? ever since that first episode back, they've been sure to throw in one scene each episode where he's delivering some sort of warning to Selin telling her to knock it off. Unless its a random new/returning character that we haven't seen as part of this arc yet.

I don’t know. He’s definitely a suspect, but here’s my thing with that theory, a) Ferit is not the sharpest tool in the shed b) Ferit is usually such a straight forward, honest character. I mean this is the guy that blurted out in episode 1 how happy he was that Serkan was engaged to such a beautiful woman because he considered him his rival for Selin. No filter. 

It’s hard for me to believe he’s become this diabolical and sneaky and savvy. I feel like if he had the photos he’d just hand them to Serkan. But we’ll see. 

He’s on my list of potentials, but I also wonder if someone hired a PI or someone to follow Selin, and on that list of suspects for me is Aydan, Babaanne, Alptekin and Serkan himself. 

Anonymous said: one of my fav scenes from last ep was weirdly the girl talk scene between melo, eda, and ayfer. them talking about eda's feelings and encouraging her was much needed. and for once in the entire show, ayfer actually spoke some sense.. guess her little stint with alex woke up her eyes to love or something lmao. we need more scenes like that where character motivations are laid out plainly.

Ayfer made up for a LOT with that one scene. Wow, she actually wasn’t thinking selfishly and put Eda’s heart first and didn’t immediately vilify Serkan. A miracle! 

It was a very good scene. And when I rank characters (in my head) from best to worst, she’s now above Piril and Ceren! Oh man, Ceren really out did herself with the way she framed Eda’s fake engagement to Serkan. I really don’t understand where her rage at Eda came from, but she better seek help soon if she wants any chance at redemption. 

Also I know it’s terrible, but when Piril was upset about Engin potentially cheating... I LAUGHED out loud. I think I might have also yelled, “SUFFER BITCH!” I really can’t stand her and I loved seeing her miserable. After enabling Selin she deserves the pain. 

Anonymous said: So I kind of felt bad for Serkan because of Eda’s strong reaction to him kissing her but at the same time, not. His out of the blue invitation to dinner and the kiss with no explanation was just never going to go over very well after his recent behavior. And of course she was going to think he got his memory back because in her mind it is the only explanation for him kissing her at this point. But at the same time it would have been really interesting to see how he reacted to her just pulling him in for another kiss. He clearly would have been totally into it and then who knows how the rest of the episode would have gone 🤷🏻‍♀️. They are stuck in a bad cycle, he overlooks her sensitivity to things due to not remembering their past and she is unable to overlook his insensitivity due to their past together. And the writers want to keep dragging this out so Eda & Serkan are constantly interrupted before they can talk stuff out.

They did a nice job of finally having Eda talk about what’s going on in her brain box. She wants her Serkan back just as he was before. Which is understandable, but she’s pinning all of her hopes on Serkan remembering and when he doesn’t she loses it. 

Thank goodness Melo and Ayfer were there to gently talk some sense to her. It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t remember and he’s not doing it on purpose. And as Melo said he’s falling in love with her again, him walking in and kissing her was a big sign of that. I think we all worried he was going to say something jerkish to her after the kiss, but he didn’t. He was just honest that he didn’t remember, and I think slapping him was a little harsh. I mean she’s definitely not in the wrong here, he’s been a whole jackass at times, but she’s putting all her effort into getting him to remember, and she’s not succeeding, but she should maybe recognize when she’s making other headway with him. You know, like him arranging a dinner and walking up and kissing her. Maybe ride that wave and see where it goes! 

As you said, if she’d kissed him again, things would have ended differently. Or if instead of getting angry she had said, “Okay, you kissed me but you still don’t remember, where do we go from here?” However, slapping him in that moment is very true to her character. We know she reacts emotionally, and her spontaneity and volatility are a part of her, and he loved all of her. 

Anonymous said: I guess the writers pay attention to some details - seems the project that got cancelled in 32 was the same Serkan said was going badly in 28. But not other details - Leyla puts down the papers to say the project was cancelled without telling Serkan, knowing that he'd see them on his desk right away, and he does. So wouldn't he have noticed the envelope the day of the surprise dinner? He had plenty of opportunity. I thought this ep it would be revealed he saw the pics but he didn't seem to know.

I find it hella hard to believe that those photos sat on his desk all day and he didn’t open them (in 33) or that they hit his desk this episode after Eda handed them to him and he didn’t open them. So, yeah, either he’s seen them or this was a big writing fail. (Right now I’m thinking it was a big writing fail).

Though personally, at this point, I don’t want them to be found until after Serkan declares his love for Eda. Let him make the decision and then lets have the evidence that makes everything guilt free and easier to humiliate and punish S/D.

Anonymous said: Is Deniz trying to trick Eda into a real legal marriage? is that what is about to happen here? I can't decide if he is worse than Selin now. I'm going to need Ayfer to bring back her threat to expose everything.

They can be equally psycho and bad. I’m not sure overall he’s worse, yet, but he was definitely way worse this episode. How has Eda not noticed that he has interrupted intense moments between her and Serkan too many times to be helpful? That’s one thing I hate about this storyline is that they have had to dumb down both Eda and Serkan to make it work. 

I have no idea what Deniz’s end game is. Is he going to trick her into marriage? But even so, what then?  If she thinks it’s a fake ceremony, but it’s real, what does he think Eda is going to do? Does he really think she’ll think his lies and tricks are charming, and stay married to him? 

Or does he think that if he gets Eda to the wedding day, and Serkan doesn’t make a move, Eda will just go “Okay, then I guess I might as well marry you for real.”  Good grief. The guy is delusional. 

I admit that I yelled, “FUCK YOU” multiple times during his scenes. This was a very vocal episode for me. I was so happy when Melo outmaneuvered him at the fashion show. Finally, someone was able to turn the tables on him. 

Anonymous said: I am so tired of hearing on Twitter that the Eda is entirely to blame for Edser not being reunited yet. Nope, that does not rest entirely on Eda or Serkan’s shoulders. The writers have created a never ending cycle of the two of them hurting each other directly & indirectly and also being manipulated by their so called childhood friend/fiancés. This Serkan does not even believe in true love and has been manipulated to think Eda is an awful person. Eda has been watching the love of her life getting cozy with Selin and he has repeatedly told her that they do not have a future together not to mention Deniz’s manipulations as well. Regardless of what they are each feeling, they do not think the other person feels the same way. The fake engagement with Deniz is awful just like Serkan’s real engagement with Selin is but again not solely Eda’s fault. And saying that Eda needs to be the bigger person because she has her memories is not fair. She does not know if he will ever get them back and again he has repeatedly said they have no future together & he is with Selin. Eda walks into that office everyday to be close to him and she puts up with his crap comments and the bs from Selin in the hope that things turnaround. And for the boxing scene, yes, it would have been great if Eda has poured out her true feelings but not 100% sure the writers would have let Serkan reciprocate in that moment not to mention Deniz showed up 3 seconds later. The real people to blame are the writers that came up with this plot where no one wins.

Someone said Eda is entirely to blame for Edser not being reunited yet? Where are you hanging out on twitter? You need to find better people to follow who understand that Serkan HAS AMNESIA and is being manipulated. No need to play the blame game on this one, it’s a horrible situation for both of them. 

Eda has been dealt a lousy hand, very lousy, she and Serkan are both victimes here trying to find their way out. That being say, she decided to go on the offensive and play a game, and in that game she’s made some tactical errors. Which is not laying blame it’s just saying she’s made some missteps. 

Where she’s going wrong, as I said above, is that she is doing everything to get Serkan to remember, and she isn’t focused in on the fact that he’s falling back in love with her regardless of his memory. That’s pretty extraordinary! 

I really think when she answered��“Yes” to loving Deniz and wanting to marry him, that was one of those missteps. A big one. I’m not saying she should have bared her soul right then and there, but I think she probably would have been better off not answering the questions at all. Perhaps telling him that he can’t ask her that while he’s engaged to Selin. Turn it back on him, but saying she loves Deniz when they were having a very serious, raw moment... mistake. And that’s why the whole thing is going to go right up until the wedding day.  Let’s hope one of them puts their stubbornness aside before she’s shackled to a psycho. (Don’t worry, they will). 

[zigtheeortega]

mementos

✿ pairing: logan x mc

✿ word count: 3792

✿ warnings: cursing

✿ tags: @beccadavenport ; @agentsewell ; @agentdumortain ; @violinet ; @serafinedupont ; @messofakind ; @felix-hauville ; @troublemakerinspace ; @pixeljazzy ; @rodappreciationweek

✿ author’s note: a big thank you to @choicesarehard for gifting me this idea because lord knows i was stuck trying to come up with a fic idea for rodaw. action writing is hard, y’all. if you get confused just know i’ve never broken into a house so i have no clue what i’m doing :) (lmao or have i) (i have not)

•─────────✦✿✦────────•

The sound of his boots slapping against the damp pavement reverberated off of the brick of the alleyways, his gasping breaths adding to the symphony that was his escape.

He grasped the short straps of the bookbag, yanking down towards the ground, tightening them. The lack of bouncing helped his momentum; he pumped his arms, using the newfound aerodynamics to increase his stride.

“Hey! Hey! You there, stop!” A voice called from behind him, but he could barely hear the cops over the thumps of his own heart, the steady bass in his ears that set the tempo of his gait.

He quickly side stepped, sliding into another alley, feet skidding expertly against the ground, before launching into a harder sprint to gear up for a leap.

He was in the air before they turned the corner, just narrowly avoiding the beam from the flashlight as he descended over the wooden fence. He was thankful for the parts of L.A. that didn’t make sense, like the hive of businesses over their tiny sliver of properties.

He kept running until he approached a nearby storm drain, inconspicuously tagged with two lines of blue spray paint, which to the normal person could look like a landmarker for construction workers, but for him was his starting point to his escape route.

Gripping the edge of the sidewalk, he angled himself inwards, turning on his stomach when he was halfway in so he could safely drop to the shallow murky water below. 

He held his breath, hearing the jingling of handcuffs and keys above him, the micro-stampede of heavy footsteps fading in and out as they passed the drain’s opening.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Logan ripped the ski mask from his head, freeing his thick locks, stray strands clinging to his face – and let out a triumphant, breathy laugh, echoing off of the concrete walls.

He did it. He’d pulled it off.

The greatest heist he’d ever orchestrated, all for the contents of her bookbag.

----

“I’m chilly.”

“Really? It’s pretty warm out right now,” he said, draping an arm around her shoulders as soon as the car came to a halt at the stoplight.

“You know I’m cold natured, Logan,” she pursed her lips, leaning into his embrace.

“You want my work shirt? I just washed it.” He reached back, feeling for the fabric underneath his fingertips. “It smells like me, and I know you love that shit.”

“It’s a little too thin for my liking. I’m sorry,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. “I just don’t like bothering anyone with my complaining when I could just slip a jacket on.”

“Hey, don’t apologize for not being comfortable, baby,” he kissed her hair, murmuring into the crown of her head.

She reached over to turn the air off, and soon enough the dry warmth of L.A. crept into the periphery of the front seats.

“I just really wish I had my stuff, you know? I don’t really feel normal with just the clothes off my back and whatever I can bum from Mona and Xi and you,” she motioned at the plain white tee she’d stolen from Logan’s drawer full of them, and her jeans she’d ran away in.

“You know, I left my textbooks, my homework, my calculator – God, my whole bookbag –” She squeezed her eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath. “My Langston sweatshirt…” She covered her eyes with her hands, leaning onto her knees.

When she sniffled, his chest twinged. “Aw, Raquel…”

“No, no, I’m okay I’m just… still a little sad about it. I’ll be fine,” she leaned back, quickly wiping her wet eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m just attached, you know?”

“Hey… stop that,” he said, reaching over to gently take her hand in his, lacing their hands together, resting them on the central console behind the gearshift. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Not to you…” She sighed again. She left it at that for a while, letting the melodic rumble of the engine fill the air, a comfortable silence settling between them.

“I could go get that stuff for you.”

“Logan, no, I don’t want you spending any of your hard-earned money on me –”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Her eyes widened. “Hell no. I could never ask you to do that for me.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” he smirked, winking.

“Well, I’m not accepting.”

“And?” He egged her on, smirk fully intact.

She rolled her eyes. “And – you could get hurt. And I’m not okay with that. My dad isn’t exactly the most forgiving right now, if you couldn’t tell.”

He slowed to a crawl, tapping the garage door opener clipped to the sun visor, waiting for the door to slide open. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve done this type of shit before.”

“Yeah, you’ve done higher risk stuff than this, but this is different, and you know it.”

He expertly reversed parked into the tight spot, leaning back, bracing his arm on the headrest of the passenger seat, one hand on the wheel to guide the car into place.

When she looked up, his face was nearly touching her own, and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from the vein on his bicep, trailing upwards to the sharp angle of his jaw, settling on the smug look that seemed almost permanent. “You like what you see?”

Before she could answer with a quip of her own, he’d put the car into park and grasped her face between his rough hands, kissing her with enough delicate passion to make her head spin.

“So that’s settled. I’ll get it tonight,” he purred against her neck, lightly nipping the spot that made her toes curl.

“Yeah sure, whatever…” she sighed, a near moan slipping out as she trailed off.

He pulled back, winking. “That’s what I thought.”

----

“Right here. Put it in park,” he said, looking out the window.

He hopped out of the car, tagging the concrete with two lines. When he slid back into the passenger seat, she eyed him. “Just tagging the drain so I know where to go in.”

“Are you sure about this, Lo? Really sure?” She gripped the wheel, knuckles white. “I don’t have to spell out how badly this could end, do I?”

“Yeah. It’s my risk to take.” He leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Anything for my girl.”

----

She checked the burner phone again, nervously bouncing her leg, her knee knocking against the wheel.

Logan was supposed to call twenty minutes ago. He said if he didn’t show up within the hour, to just leave him and call Xi. He was adamant on avoiding telling Teppei at all costs.

She tapped out a frantic text to the only number in the phone, but immediately decided against it, flipping it closed and tossing it into the passenger seat so she wouldn’t be tempted to check the time again.

She opened up her glove compartment, browsing the few CD’s she’d tossed in haphazardly, grateful for them, as archaic as they were.

She popped a random disc into the slot, and flicked the volume button on her steering wheel until she was distracted enough by the rhythmic bass flowing out of the speakers, her heart nearly in time with the upbeat tempo.

No matter how many times Logan put himself in danger, she couldn’t get used to the death grip her anxiety had on her stomach, her chest, her throat.

She focused on bobbing her leg to the drums, evening her pulse out to the lyrics, and breathing in and out each stanza, each verse bringing her closer to a steady heartbeat.

----

He adjusted the makeshift mask on his face, thankful he could at least breathe through the narrow slit he’d cut for his mouth.

He’d snagged one of Toby’s plain black beanies, and DIY-ed the hell out of it. No sense in spending the money on for a one-time use, he thought.

A ski mask was cliche as hell, and would definitely cut down on his total time to finish the job (because who wasn’t going to call the cops when they saw a sketchy guy in a mask) but it was gonna be much harder for them to identify a suspect with no identifiable tattoos in a plain white tee than if his chiseled face and silky hair were on display for the whole neighborhood to see.

Patting his pockets to make sure his lockpick, burner, and knife were there, he approached the house. He slipped his leather gloves on, eyes darting across the street. He watched for movement, for any sign of life, despite it being the dead of night.

There was no doubt that the suburb had a neighborhood watch program. If a cop felt safe living there, it was a tight ship.

Breaking into a cop’s house was the stupidest idea Logan had conceived, next to lying to Raquel about… everything.

He’d started off stringing her along (he’d never forgive himself for not appreciating her sooner), but her sincerity and tenacity made him cave the more and more time he spent with her.

She was everything he wanted to be – and everything he wanted for himself.

So when he had to break the illusion and tell her the truth, the guilt ate him alive. He promised himself that he would do anything to make it up to her, no matter how crazy it was.

He’d tested her loyalty, and she was fiercely devoted through it all, despite never owing him a damn thing in the first place. And that scared him. As much as he liked her, he was slightly on edge all of the time. In truth, he was waiting for her to bolt when things got bad, like anyone else would, including him.

He wanted to prove to her that there were reasons to stay – if one of those reasons was a sweatshirt, he was going to do everything in his power to get it back.

There were no cars in the driveway, as Raquel had predicted. He always worked a night shift on Thursday nights so he could grab her breakfast on the way home before she left for school.

She smiled sadly when she told him, and it cut deeper knowing he’d brought her into his world and ripped those precious moments away from her.

He crept up the edge of the driveway, thankful that the nearest lamppost was nearly out, flickering an orange tinted light that barely touched the Olvera’s lawn.

He sprinted to the side of the house, inching along as he tried to recall the blueprint she’d scribbled out for him.

----

“There’s two bedrooms. One right next to the kitchen – that’s dad’s – and one down the hallway. That’s mine,” Raquel said, sketching out the layout of her house on a scrap of paper. “My window faces the backyard, so if you can make it back there, it should be easy to get in.”

He peppered kisses across the back of her neck from behind her, an arm gripping her waist. “Lo, I can’t concentrate if you’re kissing me like that,” she breathed, clicking the pen shut, dropping it on the table.

“Ah, we’ve got time. Don’t worry about it,” he murmured against her earlobe, eliciting a shudder from her, watching the goosebumps raise on the skin of her arms. He never got tired of making her body react to his touch.

“No, we have to get it right. You have to take this seriously,” she turned in his grip, planting her hands on both sides of his face, forcing him to hold her searing gaze. “Please promise me you’re gonna bail if you think it’s unsafe.”

“I promise,” he leaned in, sealing it with a kiss.

----

He approached the short fence, using one arm to prop himself up, and a leg against the wall to push himself over. Once his feet hit the grass, he did a quick sweep of the perimeter, looking for a censor, a trip wire, a laser – anything.

The backyard was bare, the only indication of use being the rusty gas grill with a broken wheel in the middle of the yard, a tarp haphazardly covering half of it.

He took a few cautious steps forward, his boots crunching the dry grass.

Damn the L.A. drought, he thought, attempting to tiptoe.

He reached a dip in the brick wall, realizing that the patio and back door were right next to him. He dared taking a peep, thankful there wasn’t any activity in the house from where he was.

Just to be safe, he crouched, crawling on his stomach until he reached the other side of the small patio. His heart rate sped up the closer he got to her window, so when he recognized her window (undoubtedly hers, because he spotted her lavender curtains), his pulse was quick.

He dug his fingers under the sill, gently pulling to see if it’d budge – and it did.

He wasn’t used to jobs going this smoothly. As young as he was, he wasn’t naive. He was anticipating something bad happening, so he let that anxiety fuel his edge to make sure he didn’t lose sight of his goal.

He tugged the window up, thankful that it didn’t creak. He slipped his boots off, leaving them in the sill in case it fell shut, shuffling across the floor, his sock-clad feet virtually silent.

He noticed her sweatshirt right away, slung haphazardly across the back of her desk chair, clearly her go-to comfort since its place was at her study haven.

He saw her backpack second, neatly hung on the edge of her bed, zippers zipped all on the same side, not even so much as a pop tart wrapper in her drink pocket.

Lastly, he surveyed her desk, which made his face contort in regret, an empathetic grimace underneath his mask.

She’d left a textbook open, her pencil bag unzipped, her highlighters scattered across the desk – she’d been interrupted when she left. She was studying, trying to maintain her Valedictorian status, hopefully to get scholarships for Langston, and he’d ripped it away from her.

All because of her entanglement with him.

He started by packing up her writing tools with care, as well as her textbooks, placing them delicately into her bookbag, partially because he wanted to be quiet, but also because he didn’t want to fuck anything up more than he already had.

He went back to grab her calculator, eyes flitting to the framed picture next to her lamp. It was Raquel and a woman he presumed was her mom. They were grinning from cheek to cheek, faces pressed against each other, her arm wrapped around her mother’s neck.

Her eyes were bright, her smile even brighter. And she looked just like her mom, so much that it hurt him to look at Mrs. Olvera, knowing vaguely of her fate.

He knew it was a bad idea, but he did it anyway. He flicked the knobs on the back of the frame, slipping the photo out, gently placing it between the cover and the first page of her Calculus textbook.

He folded the sweatshirt neatly, tucking it into the backpack, before zipping it closed. He dropped it out of the window and onto the grass, before sticking one foot out, ducking underneath the sill, almost all the way on the other side.

He miscalculated, landing on the outer edge of his foot instead of the ball of his foot, his ankle buckling ever so slightly. His back bumped up against his boots, which were still in the frame of the window, and they both fell, the thud echoing in the still house.

He grabbed them quickly, not thinking anything of it, until he saw a stream of light, presumably from the hall, streak across the carpet.

Mr. Olvera was home.

Logan’s heart was deafening in his ears. He laced his boots in a frenzy, slinging the backpack over his back, inching towards the side of the house closest to him.

He tried maneuvering over the fence the same way he did when he came in, but his hands were so uncharacteristically shaky, that he slipped, banging his knee against the wood, clambering over loudly.

As soon as his feet hit the grass, he was running.

At this point, he knew that someone had called the cops. Probably Mr. Olvera. But he wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

He practically glided through the wind, using each desperate step to launch himself forward as he pumped his arms to go as fast as humanly possible.

The bookbag flopped against his back, the textbooks heavy, but he couldn’t focus on anything except sprinting out of the neighborhood.

He turned the corner onto the main road of the suburb, his muscles screaming out for him to slow down, but the ache only fueled him to go faster.

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! You’re so fucking close, you just have to make it to the storm drain, he thought, chanting his game plan to motivate himself to push through his exhaustion.

He passed the entrance sign to the suburbs, thankful that he was nearing the part of the city he’d planned to use as his escape.

He sprinted towards the brick buildings, panting heavily, the material of his makeshift mask sticking to his skin, sweating profusely through the fabric.

Just as he reached up, ready to rip off the mask for some relief, he heard a siren, the blue and red lights reflecting off the pavement in front of him.

“Oh shit –” he gasped, when he realized that another cop car was approaching, trying to trap him.

----

Raquel tapped her fingers against the wheel, adjusted the rearview mirror, checked her phone, and then switched the song – like clockwork. She was trying to keep herself preoccupied so that she wouldn’t fixate on the time, each passing minute building on the dread that weighed down her stomach. Each minute was like another pound, and she was already feeling so anchored that she could barely stand it.

“Call Xi. Post bail. Hide out till Teppei calms down,” she whispered to herself over and over, the definite plans the only thing anchoring her.

After she repeated that until the words didn’t sound real, she flipped her phone open, and typed Ximena’s number from memory. It was her burner’s number, so it was crucial that Raquel have it memorized.

499–1304. 499–1304. 499–1304.

She wasn’t sure how long she could rhythmically tap out the digits to the beat of the song without going insane.

Minutes later, after she’d started trying to memorize the lyrics to a song she’d never heard before, the flip phone vibrated against the dashboard.

She answered on the first ring. She wanted so desperately to call his name out, to make sure it was him, but he told her that under no circumstances should they give away personal information, especially their names.

“I got it. Meet me in five,” he panted heavily, his voice echoing and sounding distant, like he was in another room.

As soon as he hung up, she gunned it towards the second storm drain he’d tagged for her. When she saw the two lines followed by a heart, relief flooded over her.

----

Ten minutes later, she watched as her school backpack was flung out of the crack and into the middle of the street; Logan’s body followed soon after, his arms straining with effort to pull himself out.

Once he stood up, he made a final sprint towards the car, faintly staggering as he struggled to open up the passenger’s door.

He fell inside, gasping, “Go, go, go!” and she floored it, not speaking until they were a safe distance from the scene of the crime.

She parked underneath an old bridge closeby the garage. She couldn’t stand not speaking to him – she had to know if he was okay.

But as soon as her hand was off of the gearshift, his hands were on her, his gloves abandoned on the floor mat of the passenger’s seat, his clammy palms gripping her jaw as he kissed her deeply.

Any questions she had evaporated, her skin warming underneath his touch. She hummed contentedly, tasting the salt on his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his damp hair.

He smiled against her mouth, pressing a tender kiss to her parted lips before pulling back to look at her. “Sorry, I took so long, baby.”

He kept his left hand on her face, the other reaching back to grab the bookbag. “I grabbed your textbooks, and your pencil case, and your sweatshirt… and something else.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh god, Logan, what did you take –”

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry.” His smile was soft, hinting at sheepish. He pulled out the Calculus textbook, handing it to her. “Open it. It should be at the very front.”

She did as he said, creaking open the old book. Her chin dimpled, her bottom lip shaking. “Lo…” she whispered, raising the photo by its corners.

“I figured, if your sweatshirt reminded you of your dad, you’d need something for Mrs. Olvera, too,” he rubbed his thumb across her cheekbone, catching a stray tear on the tip of it.

She put the photo back into its place at the front of the textbook, and thrust herself across the center console and into his arms, murmuring incoherent thank-yous in between sobs.

Even if it wasn’t enough in the grand scheme of things, it was enough to keep Raquel there with him longer. It bought him precious time with her that he might not have gotten otherwise.

He gripped her tightly, letting her cry, his guilt satiated by the sweet nothings she whispered into his ear. Regardless of his covetous feelings towards parents, Logan felt a level of love and gratitude from Raquel in that moment that made him nearly forget the list of things he’d made a habit of wishing for.

He had what he needed right in front of him. And he’d sacrifice anything – risk it all – to keep it that way.

“Anything for my girl.”

----

[shy-marker-pliers]

High school AU thingamabob

Dark

17 year old senior

class president and is kinda high and mighty about it tbh

“yes i know student council can’t really make any changes without the input of the superintendent but IM THE PRESIDENT AND YOU’RE NOT SO SUCK MY DI-“

does sound/lights for all the shows the school puts on

dating wilford and no one knows how or why they’re together

had a deep as hell voice and a beard the second he hit puberty

takes every ethics/psychology class he can

wants to be a lawyer

that one kid that everyone fears but is actually kinda chill if not a little surly

wears a collared shirt and tie to school every day and would totally get made fun of for it if he wasn’t terrifying

listens to classical music unironically

“oh my god i’m so going to fail this test” *proceeds to get the highest grade in the class*

protector of the gays™️

person: *says something mean to a student because they’re lgbtq+*

Dark: *teleports in front of said student* omae wa mou shindeiru

Wilford

19 year old senior

Yes he still has the mustache

doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him

deadass wore a dress to school after one of his friends got made fun of because she wore a suit to a school dance

b u f f a s h e l l

could bench press a teacher if he really tried

on the cheer team

“no i’m not wearing pants, this miniskirt makes my ass look great!”

everyone’s bodyguard

usually attracts a crowd of nervous underclassmen

has mild dyslexia

tol

gives his friends piggyback rides

president of the drama club

works hard enough in school to pass his classes but that’s pretty much it

sleeps in class

Bim

15 year old freshman

vice president of the drama club

wilfords shadow

first freshman to help run the drama club and shoves it in everyone’s face

shouts his gayness from the rooftops

secretly super insecure

loves plants and helps out in the schools greenhouse

named all of the plants but if you tell anyone he’ll stab you

gets mostly B’s and C’s

has mild ocd but not enough to affect him severely

talks like a game show host cause he thinks it makes him sound attractive

it doesn’t

Google(s)

16 year old juniors

identical quadruplets

they have to wear different colors every day or else no one knows which one is which

they’re called the googles because their backpacks match the colors of the chrome logo and they’re super smart

straight A 4.0 GPA students but Oliver has to try a little harder than his brothers

all of them are in the robotics team except for ollie

Blue works on programming and red and green are on the build team

Ollie is the sweetest day of sunshine to ever exist and everyone loves him

he’s basically adopted Eric as his lil bro

tutors people in the library every tuesday and thursday

the other googles disapprove of his relationship with bing but he makes ollie happy so they don’t do anything about it

they all work in a supermarket and they’re saving up for college

ollie wants to be a vet, red and green want to be engineers, and blue wants to be a web developer

Bing

17 year old junior

mostly A’s, a few B’s.

his full name is zachary bing but people call him bing because he’s always trying to one up the googles

dudebro

was pining after ollie for months before chase finally felt sorry for him and told ollie how he felt

they’re dating now and it’s adorable

so soft for his boyf

a really good skater and wins a lot of local competitions

doesn’t study but still gets p good grades

wears sunglasses all the time because he has light sensitivity

Has ADHD

s t r o n k

always challenges people to arm wrestle him

can sing really well and plays gitaur

shares a youtube channel with chase where they skate and to challenges and stuff

Dr. ipiler

18 year old senior

Everyone calls him doc because he helps the school nurse and takes every single biology and health class there is

all A’s

really wants to be a surgeon

best friends with Schneep

huge star trek/harry potter nerd (ravenclaw if you’re wondering)

almost always at schneep’s house studying or just chillin’

kind of a control freak

thinks he’s charismatic but he’s actually kinda annoying

but annoying in a funny way

has a pet ferret that he sneaks into school

feral

espresso and sugar flows through his veins

“i actually got a good sleep last night.” “oh really?” “yeah bro i got a whole half hour!”

super dark bags under his eyes

Host

17 year old junior

all A’s except for in gym class

he has eyes in this

his real name is Simon Charles Teller (there are specific meanings to those names btw look them up) but he’s called The Host because he does morning announcements every day.

has gold eyes and a lot of people find it unnerving

“hey i have a podcast you should totally listen to it”

nocturnal

spends all of his free time in the library

always reading in class but the teachers don’t really care bc his grades are good and he does his homework

wants to be an english/poetry teacher

crushing on the cute shy kid from his english class

doesn’t talk much but he’ll still be nice to you

that one kid who’s always correcting the teachers

Runs the D&D club (he’s the dungeon master)

Eric Derekson

16 year old junior

Mostly high B’s, a couple of A’s.

lives with his uncle mark after he ran away from his abusive dad and is living a happy life

the guy that always volunteers to take care of the class pets over the weekend

animals love him

has anxiety, mild paranoia and autism.

animals, harry potter, and pokémon are his hyperfixations.

he also really likes gardening

crushing big time on hostioli

spends his entire english class staring at him and blushing

is seriously considering joining D&D club just to be able to talk to him

he’s in the art club

wants to be a vet and maybe do some freelance art stuff on the side

Ollie keeps yelling at him to just ask host out already but he’s too nervous

my poor bb boi

Wears sweaters all the time

wears headphones to block out noise if it ever gets too loud at he goes into sensory overload

disaster bi

Yan

18 year old senior

gets C’s

non-binary

has a makeup tutorial channel on youtube and has a pretty decent following

That one weeb

dyes their hair a new color every week

also has a new crush every week

everyone knows who their newest victim is because they never stop watching them

draws anime or cute animals for every art class

wants to be a a fashion designer

does MMA

everyone kinda stears clear of them

writes their first initial along with their crush’s on every notebook they own

has gotten suspended for beating kids up on multiple occasions

doesn’t really have that many friends but they don’t mind

spends their lunches watching their crush

in the drama club and the art club

Randall Voorhees

18 year old senior

C’s and D’s

Eric’s cousin/bodyguard

they have a lot of the same classes and walk everywhere together

loves animals and has like 10 pet rats

he doesn’t really care about his grades because he knows that he wants to be a woodworker/construction guy

makes little houses out of scrap wood for his rats and Eric thinks it’s adorable

always sneaks his rats to school and lets them have play dates with dr. iplier’s ferret

“nO IM NOT RELATED TO JASON VOORHEES HES NOT EVEN REAL SO SHUT THE HELL UP-“

used to live in nyc in queens and still has a pretty strong accent

completely incomprehensible when he’s excited or angry bc of the accent

everyone is jealous of his hair

spends like 100 dollars on shampoo and conditioner and stuff but it’s worth it

acts like the straightest guy in existence but could not be more gay

his boots are always muddy

Yancy

16 year old sophomore

his name is Yancy Bird

g...get it? like jailbird? ahaha...ok i’ll stop

permanent resident of the detention room

but he gets to just chill out and read for an hour so he doesn’t really mind

mostly gets detention for beating up kids that bully others

fuck the system

always wears a leather jacket and blue jeans

“hey, the 50’s called and they want their-“ SMACK. “shut up.”

takes a lot of criminal justice and psychology classes ironically

in the botany club but if you tell anyone they’ll never find your body

everyone is surprised when they find out he’s friends with Eric and ollie

pan but in denial

“i’m not gay guys, that ain’t me, i’m just comfortable with my sexuality. so i can admit when i see a guy with a handsome face and pretty eyes-“

that song is great btw you should listen to it

anyway

always makes really dark jokes and everyone is like “are you ok?”

except for his friends they just laugh

“lmao wouldn’t it be funny if everyone like...died”