#asking and also like a lot of ppl on here helped me thru all of that stuff a couple yrs ago so this is kinda a follow up if ur interested in

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

m'starting to get my groove back no emperor so here's a lil valentines day piece i wrote, hope yall enjoy ♡ ! ( a lil bit more love for the hopeless romantic singles like me, ppl in a relationship yall can get that from your s/o's..still love yall tho ♡)

fem reader, katsuki is a nervous lil thing, his friends don't help( they do end up helping him out tho), just pure fluffyness, bksquad boys are sassy towards each other but all in good fun, bkg is a softie, kirimina kinda hinted but eiji shuts it down take it how u wanna, food n takeout mentions,dude talk written by a girl trying her best, kirishima's sheets smell bad lemme know if i missed sum else ♡ !! (no friends to lovers mentioned in this one btw..starting to feel myself goin thru withdrawal already..), not rlly reader oriented like usual but i thought this was cute lol i like the idea of katsuki caring about us so much he goes out his way to ask for help from others (despite hating doing so)teehee (also i like the idea of these silly guys interacting and i like hc-ing them okay okay i'll stop rambling okay-)

the last thing kirishima expected at 9.34 pm was someone basically busting down his door with how hard they were knocking on it.

eijirou opens the door urgently and is even more suprised to see his foul mouthed best friend on the other side of the door.

"woah, bakugou, man !" he exclaims seeing the state his friend was in. his eyes looked droopy and his clothes were wrinkled up like he had done a lot of moving around. usually, he would've assumed his friend had just awoken from a good nap, but his restless expression said otherwise. "what happened to you ? you look—"

" 'm fine." bakugou gruffs hoarsely, taking a deep breath at his friends widened eyes, softening up his demeanor just slightly " i'm good," he rephrased "just—you gonna let me in or what ?"

eijirou sputters out an "of course, of course" only for his friend let himself in before he could even move aside. though he immediately freezes when he sees-

"woah, kacchan's gone nutso ! " denki exclaims, face turning red from laying upside down on kirishima's bean bag for way too long.

"and he's up past 8 ? must be the apocalypse or somethin' " sero chuckles from his place on the floor near the dresser.

bakugou groans has he flops onto eijirou’s bed "of course you losers are here" his complaint is muffled against the pillows, but not muffled enough to where the rest of the boys can't hear.

"hey ! we were here before you ! 'f anythin', you're the one intruding—!" denki gulps, eyebrows furrowed. he quickly spins around to lay right when he feels the blood rushing to his head, taking a deep breath afterwards. sero chuckles and bakugou deadpans at kaminari for a good fourty seconds before slamming his head back down and groans even louder.

kirishima decides he's at a safe enough distance to sit down on his own bed, without making any sudden moves so as not to anger the beast that is an angry, sleepy bakugou. he places a hand near his friends leg, where he deems he's at safe to ask "what's up man ? you're usually in bed by this time.." he hears sero make a noise in agreement.

"yeah, or he's havin' kissy-kissy time with his giiiirrrlffrrieeeend.." kaminari sings, kicking his feet in the air jokingly. bakugou, to everyones suprise, flinches at the mention of you, then slams his head against kirishima's pillow harder and groaning even louder.

all three friends share a curious-somewhat worried look. kirishima nudges his head in bakugou's direction, silently begging his friends to say something. said friends adamantly shake their heads, as if synchronized, making a cross motion with their arms. kirishima sighs to himself, some friends.

yet again, he is the first one to speak up " did..did something happen between you two, didja fight or something ?" he asks carefully, his entire body is strained and the air in the room is so heavy, everybody present ready to get a big portion of the great lord explodo-bomberkill's anger.

only to be met with bakugou turning around to lay on his back eyebrows strained slightly and eyes absent, thinking about something they don't know "what ? course we didn't fuckin fight, idiot." he answers simply.

the three friends all let out an obnoxious sigh of relief, to katsuki's slight confusion.

"hoo, okay." kirishima answered relieved. he knows you and bakugou don't fight very much (which he thinks is super manly) but he knows that when it happens bakugou get's extremely—EXTREMELY—irritable, so it's best to stay away from him while he has his heart broken for a little bit, unless he reaches out by himself, but that only happens when he feels really bad and came to ask for advice on how to get his boyfriend priviledges back. "soo.." eijirou sings "what happened then ?"

bakugou's face hardens and the group stiffens again, preparing for a latent explosion--perhaps the volcano was still dormant and was about to be set off. the three boys hold their breaths.

bakugou takes a deep breath, a sour expression on his face.

3..

bakugou huffs out a sigh.

2...

he opens his mouth to speak and—his cheeks are turning pink ?

"valentine's day's after tomorrow and i don't know what the fuck to get her."

the three boys slump over and kaminari does so so hard his face bangs against the floor. kirishima feels like he's in a sitcom or some gag anime.

" that's it ?" sero chuckles to himself "what ? you're worried for valentine's day ?" sero mocks, gladly taking the opportunity to mess with the blond "that shit's easy man." he cackles, leaning against the dresser more comfortably.

"yeah dude, all you gotta do is get her some chocolates and like—a teddy bear or somethin' girls love that typa stuff !" kaminari piped up, having lifted his head up from the floor. sero nods and bakugou lifts himself up to scoff at them. it feels like it comes from the deepest depth of his very being and kirishima feels a little hurt, despite not being the target of the attack.

"this is why you losers don't have girlfriends yourselves, so i don't wanna hear anythin' from you." kaminari chokes out an "ouch, dude !" " sides, i'm not just gonna settle for that boring ass shit for my girl. no chance in hell." bakugou concludes gruffly.

"yeah, yeah we get it you're the perfect boyfriend" sero quips bitterly, rolling his eyes. " why'd you come here to ask us if, according to you, we get none ?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.

"i came here for shitty hair, not you bastards." the blond spits, rolling his eyes as well before turning to kirishima, who jumps a little at his friends slightly desperate eyes on him.

"woah, i don't have—what makes you think i would be any help ?" the redhead splutters, waving his hands around.

"don't you have something goin' on with alien chick ?"

"what ?! no dude, we're just friends !"

at that, bakugou's eyes widen the slightest bit before he groans for what feels like the 5Oth time tonight, and flops back onto the bed dramatically, turning his head away from his friend " your fuckin' useless too, then." his friend grumbles angrily.

"hey !" kirishima exclaims "mean ! i help you with your girlfriend troubles all the time without having one !"

bakugou turns to face his friend again with narrowed eyes, before exhaling a frustrated sigh and lifting himself up again, eyebrows furrowed. "your sheets smell like ass by the way." he chides, nose scrunched slightly.

"h-hey !" kirishima reiterates " i was gonna wash 'em !"

bakugou gives him an incredulous look, before shaking his head, sighing.

"well look, how about you just get her something you know she likes, isn't that good enough ?" sero offers, shrugging to himself.

"ou ! i saw a guy on tiktok ask his girlfriend out with wingstop, you could like-" kaminari, despite getting lightheaded before has apparently not learned his lesson as he flips around on his back again "—ask her to be your valentines with some fast food chain she likes, and those cute pink heart balloons they sell at the mall, y'know !"

the boys all hum at kaminari's suprisingly helpful idea. kirishima doesn't wanna say it out loud but he really hadn't expected such a cute idea from his electric friend.

"y'know, i was gonna say you were just hungry with the wingstop thing, but that's actually not a bad idea kaminari." sero hums absentmindedly with an impressed expression on his face. kirishima sweatdrops at his lack of tact but isn't really suprised.

"fuck you, man ! you guys never trust me with this stuff." kaminari whines mostly to himself. "yer track record isn't really the best when it comes to scoring girls, is it ?" sero retorts.

kirishima shakes his head seeing his friends start to bicker. he decides to ignore them and turn to his spiky haired friend, who seems deep in thought "well, what about it ? that sound like a good idea ?" he asks.

"s'not half bad.." his friend mutters in response " it's a good start, i guess."i if he notices how kaminari presses a hand to his chest with a heartfelt look on his face, he doesn't comment on it.

"oh, maybe try the take-out and a movie, i'm assuming you're not trynna have a whole celebration, yeah ?" bakugou grunts in response, his nose scrunches as he cringes thinking about the idea. he shakes his head "no, want it to be..about just the two of us, y'know ?" he utters honestly, in a way that sounds way too out of character from him.

a symphony of awwwss resonates around the room and katsuki feels his cheeks heat up hard as he harshly tells his friends to shut up.

" but seriously i'm curious, you guys are already together right ? why would you need to ask her to be your valentine anyway—shouldn’t that be a given ? " sero wonders.

"i don’t fuckin know, my old hag says it’s about the principal or some shit like that." bakugou sighs, flopping back onto the bed and throwing an arm up over his eyes, it seemed like being up so late was affecting him.

"no way dude, you called your mom ?" kaminari asks, jaw practically reaching the floor (or the ceiling..?) in shock. bakugou flushes and splutters as he hears his friends reaction to this apparently shocking news.

“shut up.” he growls “she says it’s important to show i care.. my old man does it an' they're still together right now so he must be doin' something right.

"woah man.." kirishima uttered in awe " you're goin so far to make your girlfriend happy.." he clenches his fist "s-so manly !" bakugou simply grumbles to himself in response.

"honestly..i didn't expect that from you..like at all."

"fuck off !"

"like genuinely, at all. or maybe like, 0.00003 percent cha-"

" i'll fuckin' kill you tape arms !" bakugou barked, small sparks shooting out of his palms as he kneeled at the foot of kirishima's bed in pursuit of the black haired boy. kirishima swiftly swoops in and grabs his friends arm, quickly putting his finger over his mouth

"shhhh, man !" kirishima shushes. " if we're loud, class rep's gonna hear us !" he hisses.

"or worse, mr. aizawa..." kaminari whimpered.

all four boys share a shiver.

afterwards, bakugou sighs, acting as if him almost literally blowing up at his friend a minute ago hadn't happened and gets up to sit on the side of the bed.

"well whatever, i'm satisfied." he says, a little yawn leaving him "my folks gave me some ideas so i'll use those too." his eyes zip around the room and back to the floor, then he closes his eyes and speaks so quietly kirishima barely catches it

"you guys' idea isn't horrible either so i'll keep it in mind..thanks." he utters a quick " 'r whatever." before suddenly getting up and practically sprinting to the door.

it's quiet in the room as everyone sits stunned and kirishima is the first to speak again "o-oh yeah, no problem man, anytime !" he beamed, though still slightly shocked.

"yeah, no problem..!" kaminari can't seemed to decide if he wants to smile or be stunned. his mouth stuck in an awkward half-smile-half- '°O°-' face.

" course." sero raises a thumbs up and a small smile.

bakugou grunts to himself, graces his friends with a simple "night." then pulling the door open quietly, looking around the hallway quickly before swiftly creeping out the room, closing the door behind him. the boys quickly reciprocate the goodnight quietly before he can fully close it. he stutters at the door for a second longer and kirishima knows he heard them then, so he's satisfied.

it's quiet in the room for about 5 seconds after bakugou's left.

"dude, for some reason that made me feel all warm inside..is that just me ?" kaminari hummed, pressing a hand to his chest.

"nope, me too" sero admits, sighing to himself.

"yeah, same here" kirishima says as well, smiling to himself " he really cares about yn, huh ?"

"i can give him that, yeah" sero stretches, getting up so he can jump onto kirishima's bed.

"dude" he lifts his head up "your sheets do smell like ass." sero snickers.

" I- AM-GONNA-WASH-THEM !! "

afterwards valentines day comes around. the boys don't have valentines of their own but when they see you and katsuki hand in hand, with you holding onto those cute pink heart balloons from the mall, wearing a sweater a little too big for you and a valentines day gift bag in your one hand, with bakugou holding onto a bag of take-out and offering them a single side glance and a nod with a half smirk on his lips, they feel extremely proud of themselves. bakugou reminds himself to tell his friends he owes them one.

[dyemelikeasunset]

I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭

It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??

AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)

And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED

and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)

And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??

Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always

if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it

[vasito-de-leche]

crawling back from a hole to GEEK about suitcase gang members that would get along the best 💁‍♀️

- x, medicine pocket, and sotheby: lethal IRB nightmares

- med poc and sotheby: explosive concoctions

- centurion and tennant: harbingers of serial bankruptcy

- mesmer jr. and 6: orderliness

- dikke and 6: law and order (dun dun)

- melania and bkornblume: the thief and her gal in the chair (they're a ship too)

- eagle and shamane: shamane is MAD impressed at this girl's wilderness skills + will also be willing to teach her stuff

- horropedia, an an lee, and blonney: it's always horro and blonney / horro and an an but never these three together. you can bet that blon and horro surrounds an an to ask about her ghost vacuum

- blonney and desert flannel: she's in patch 1.5 but her design tells me that she's rocking her closet which is a bonding topic with blonney

- lilya and jiu niangzi: girl is in patch 1.6 but all that is known for now for global players is that she makes killer alcohol. cue lilya as her willing taste-tester

- sputnik 1 and 37: just 37 marvelling this perfect sphere

- alien T and 37: this girl again eyeing the ufo's circumference

- kaala bauna and voyager: kaala has a question or two about the heavenly bodies

- dikke and knight: s w o r d

ohhh fun! here's a few dynamics and characters I think would get along since you've shared your own!

Baby Blue and every character younger than her--especially Balloon Party

Baby Blue is just 17 but I do like to think that, bc of her connection with Wonderland and innocence, she would act as a big sister for many of the younger arcanists. especially Balloon Party since the two reject adults or the idea of growing up!

Blonney and Bunny Bunny

both characters have a focus on movie or hollywood as a concept, both are also girls around the same age range who know what it's like to be put into very restrictive stereotypes (the blonde bimbo, the southerner). I think they'd get along, and it's very funny to think about Blonney go straight to Bunny Bunny for help if Jessica ever needs help, since Bunny Bunny's family had a farm lmfao

but I also just rlly love girls who are total opposites on a surface level being close friends bc of the small little things they do have in common

Sweetheart and Bette, following the same reasoning as the Blonney and Bunny Bunny

THE MOST FAMOUS ACTRESS AND A STRUGGLING ACTRESS...BEING FRIENDS... SEEING EACH OTHERS PERSPECTIVES....

sorry I'm very passionate abt Sweetheart being so jaded and tired of the way hollywood treated her and warped her image to be nothing but a product for the audience's consumption. and very passionate abt Bette near-delusional hope of making it into the industry

Sonetto and Zima, both being poets

I could've added Charlie or The Fool since the idea is similar, but I feel like Zima would work best?

all three of these characters cherish the power of the written word and have used it against injust systems, but I think that Charlie's insecurities would hold her back a lot from truly bonding with Sonetto thru poetry, and The Fool is too much of a revolutionary--his very open and vocal "down with the monarchy, every person in authority is a fucking fool" vibe would clash with Sonetto's obedient dog aspects. Zima, however, feels perfect to act as another poet for Sonetto to befriend and a mentor to slowly introduce her to more open ideologies

SURE hes a recluse and socially inept bc of the years of isolation in exile, BUT HES NOT SHY WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING HIS VIEWS AND THOUGHTS OR WORK. hes the perfect idea of subdued and quiet strength, I rlly think Sonetto could really benefit from having him as a mentor or responsible adult figure

Pavia and Centurion

YES, I KNOW TENNANT IS VERY OBVIOUS FOR CENTURION BC SHE SCAMS PPL AND CENTURION IS VERY LUCKY SO SHE WINS AT EVERYTHING AND PUT MANY PLACES INTO BANKRUPCY

but I'm NEVER letting go of casino dealer Pavia from the artificial somnambulism stages. these two? theyre ABSOLUTE MENACES together, the luckiest girl in the world addicted to adrenaline and thrills? with the most deranged "who gives a shit" mafia guy who does whatever he wants?

they'd be playing an extreme version of buckshot roulette together, they'd ruin the economy together just bc its funny. they dont know each other's full names. they hang out and bitch about life together. they dont care abt their respective life stories. they're the first person they call when they're bored. they've been in many many life threatening situations. they dont know each others favorite colors

do you see my vision!!!

[mbti-notes]

Hi! I came across this post of yours /post/179222467392/you-once-said-that-you-are-not-a-religios-person and i was wondering what the things are in Buddhist philosophy that u dont agree with? And also how did u manage to tap into the oneness belief? I heard ppl often get there thru ego death by using meditation or psychedelic drugs. Lately I have been into this topic and into getting into that oneness belief and you seem to know a great deal about philosophy!

If you're new here, philosophy is one of my majors. I learned religious philosophy as part of my studies in the history of human thought, so people sometimes ask me about these topics.

- To be clear, I am sympathetic to Buddhist beliefs and I think the religion has a lot to offer people. Buddhist philosophy underwent a lot of change over the centuries as the religion spread through very different cultures. When you dive deep into the scriptures, you'll find some truly wild ideas about multiverses and supernatural beings. It's hard to get on board with those ideas if you are a rational and scientifically minded person.

At this point, there are several different branches of Buddhism that sometimes hold very contradictory beliefs, yet they all still call themselves "Buddhist" (contrast this with Abrahamic religions that splintered three ways). Such contradictions are possible because Buddhist beliefs are almost designed to be impervious to critique. On one hand, this allows for great diversity of thought. On the other hand, it can make the whole thing seem nonsensical.

For example, I don't agree with how Buddhists conceptualize and characterize the human ego. However, as soon as I raise those objections to these Buddhists over here, some Buddhists over there will argue that there are different levels of understanding and many different ways of looking at the ego depending on how far you've gotten in your Buddhist practice. They simultaneously accept and dismiss my objections. Thus, if you want to be Buddhist, you basically have to accept this sort of incoherence and perhaps dismiss it as illusory or the result of small-mindedness.

At the end of the day, whether I agree or disagree with the beliefs is inconsequential, because no objection is really real or pointing to anything permanent. But when all your thoughts and feelings and behaviors can easily be dismissed as unreal, what happens to your life? Whether or not your life is objectively real, it still seems real to you and you have to live it, and the suffering you experience feels real. Can you dismiss it as just ephemera? There has always been an internal debate in the religion about whether one should be apart from or a part of the material world, and I don't think this kind of ambiguity helps people who are already struggling psychologically.

- I guess you could say I came to the belief in oneness first through intuition, then through science, then through philosophy. I think I mentioned before that, as a child, I genuinely believed that everything in the universe was imbued with some form of consciousness (aka panpsychism). It's not an uncommon belief in children because the human mind has a tendency toward anthropomorphism. For example, I would wonder whether stepping on the sidewalk was hurting it. People had to reassure me that if the sidewalk had feelings, its feelings worked differently than human feelings, otherwise, the sidewalk would object in the same way I would to getting stepped on.

Most people grow up and forget about these silly notions, but I didn't. Psychologists say that normal infant development starts at oneness and evolves into individuality. I feel like the world tried to convince me that I'm this separate, discrete, individual being, but I just couldn't believe it. Separation has always felt to me like a very wrong way to be. Who is right, the psychologists or me? I don't know. Maybe a Buddhist would say we're both right and we're both wrong and that neither is seeing the bigger picture.

To me, it seems as though I was born believing in panpsychism because I don't remember a time when I didn't believe it, so there is no actual "origin story" or explanation as to how I came to the belief. If I am capable of consciousness, why wouldn't it be possible that everything else is as well? If I am capable of being conscious of others, shouldn't there be something out there conscious of me? And if consciousness exists everywhere in everything, isn't reality fundamentally relational? In order for these beliefs to stand, I had to possess the underlying belief that everything in the universe is somehow interconnected despite superficial appearances.

Then, I studied science in school and learned that all matter in the universe is made up of the same constituent elements. We are all stardust. At the atomic and quantum level, the boundaries we perceive between objects are difficult to define. As an adult, I studied philosophy and was introduced to the full gamut of human thought and learned that oneness was a key concept in many Eastern religions. Actually, several influential thinkers in the West (such as Jung) were heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy. Philosophical training helped me sharpen and refine my spiritual ideas.

- Yes, some people come to a belief in oneness through psychedelic drugs. Presumably (according to the limited research that has been done so far), these drugs help to "open up the mind" by restructuring it in such a way that expands one's perspective beyond one's narrow everyday ego concerns. Some people call this "ego death", but I don't like that term. As I mentioned above, I don't agree with Buddhist conceptions of the ego, which some secular Buddhists blithely reduce to "ego death = enlightenment". If you read my previous posts on this topic, you'll see why. I don't believe the ego is a bad thing or an enemy to be vanquished. I've seen how aspiring to ego death can go terribly wrong for people. And I've been exposed to different perspectives on ego and believe there are better ideas out there.

[brutalitybunny]

10 w/ Daryan for the ask game if someone hasn’t already asked!

10; what's your favourite piece of fanart for daryan?

HMM piece of fanart From Me is ...

this one is actually super recent but i looked thru my daryan tag and! well it's the best one! idk what's to be said. i love this one apparently.. it's a good approximation of geeter and it's a cutie daryan face and the colors aren't insane like a lot of my older art eknlfgklndfg

in terms of fanart from other ppl ...... i have to admit i don't Really look at a lot of daryan fanart bc a lot of times they chop off his pompadour and it makes me So Sad Oh So Sad. but um

ive always loved this one NELKNDFKLNGDF ... it's soooo forum signature... it's so authentically 2011.... it's so Color Burn. this artist has a few weird pieces but ... it Was 2011. so it can't be helped... also i got the impression they were like The Daryan Person back in the day so i have to pay my respects

i also rly love this piece from maverickstudio here on tumblr :3

HEART EYES!!! it's just so cutie and the absolute Artistic Skill of it all...oh im no good with words ok i just like it when they are silly and rockstars together :3

[77ngiez]

i don't know shit about the mormon religion but tbh ur posts about it have me thinking about looking into it since ive been on and off looking for a religion that fits me. do you have recommendations on where to start?

anon this made me so happy and excited u have no idea. i will answer the ask under the cut cos its gonna get. long

alright! so! quick (2 paragraph lol sorry) crash course! the mormon church is more formally known as The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. this is noted bcs i think its important to know that the church Is a branch of christianity!

the main difference between the church and other branches of christianity is that we believe that we have the restored gospel! to elaborate, we believe that during the years christ was gone, his church and doctrine began falling apart - misinterpretation, mistranslation, etc, all playing a role. the power of both the aaronic priesthood and the melchezidic priesthood was lost. sure, we also have the book of mormon (+ the doctrine&covenants and the pearl of great price), but the reason we have those in the first place is because the priesthood was restored to us.

the subtitle of the book of mormon is "another testemant of jesus christ". basically, you know all those times that jerusalem got destroyed in the old testemant? well, one of those times, this guy lehi takes his family and his pals and goes to the american continent! and then the book of mormon chronicles what happened to him and his many descendants, ending when they all... destroyed each other in war. the doctrine&covenants and the pearl of great price are both stuff from the prophets and apostles in the early days of the church! also, joseph smith (the "founder" of the church) did a retranslation of some parts of the bible. pretty neat!

now that thats out of the way, ur question - where to learn more! if there's a mormon church anywhere in your area (which is pretty likely, esp if u live in the usa) then you can reach out to that church and/or any missionaries on the area! u can attend church at a mormon church without being a member, and plenty of ppl do! ppl r very welcoming there! the missionaries can always teach u more! also, if u download the lds gospel library app (or use the library), u have access to all the lds materials! this is the bible, book of mormon, etc, but other stuff too. for example, theres the 3-volume book "saints" which is all about church history! its very detailed but not hard to listen to or read at all, and it focuses on individuals to help paint the story of how the church formed and was built (i love saints if u cant tell)

i love being mormon and wouldnt trade it for anything. however i feel like warning u that at the moment, the church has a bit of a toxic culture regarding queer stuff, and it can be rlly hard to deal with esp as a queer person who genuinely believes in all the true concepts that the church upholds. but! its absolutely not impossible! #queerstake right here on tumblr is a shining example <3

anyway im only one mormon teenager on the internet, so id suggest checking out the gosepl library, talking to missionaries, and even attending a session on sunday to see what its like if u feel like it. also go ahead and look thru the #queerstake and #tumblrstake tags, bcs theres a lot of both rlly good insight and rlly good community there! feel free to reach out to other posters in that tag for more info if this wasn't sufficient ^^ and good luck, anon!!

[viofficial]

heyyy zero escape fandom, i have a fic idea thats in the works !!!! ik im just Some Guy but hopefully ill post it. heres the logline

akane kurashiki struggles to adjust to life without the guidance of red strings. or: akane opens her eyes to the strain of her relationships and the ways in which her trauma has affected her. 

if u like aromantic rep, junepei getting a divorce, themes re: the cycle of trauma and how that affects ppl, and basically 17k words of an akane character study... burn a picture may be the fic for u !!!! more info under the cut

pinterest board | blog post on spacehey | spotify playlist coming soon!!

so basically when i was playing thru ztd i had this idea of a post-ztd fic where junpei meets aoi without pretenses (bc in 999 he just knows him as santa and not aoi) and yk. insert haha funny shenanigans. but then i realized thats Boring so i scrapped that. then i wrote a fic abt akane and aoi's strained relationship post 999. though i didnt finish it. and THEN i had an idea where the kurashiki siblings, the klim family and junpei go on a roadtrip only to witness a murder. but never wrote it. so this fic was born, basically combining all those ideas (akane and aoi's strained relationship, aoi and junpei meeting, and the kurashikis interacting w the klims also junpei is there). the idea of focusing on akane's trauma was bc i was reading someone's analysis post abt the subject

akane as a character is someone i resonate with a lot but i wont go into that bc thats Personal! and it sucks how canon barely acknowledges her trauma and how she struggles and maybe even comes to terms w it. 999, in essence, is abt the cycle of trauma. its abt akane regaining agency, recreating the environment that traumatized her. which makes sense as to why she acts the way she does in ztd (rlly unstable, panicky, doesnt have a plan despite usually calculating and in control. like she literally got kidnapped Again and isnt around sigma and phi who she initially planned with, why do u expect her to act like she usually does. i wish ppl understood this abt her character). 

so in a post-ztd scenario, where she's supposed to be in a safe environment without planning any nonary games or saving the world, she feels like she's lost control which she feels she desperately needs to stay on top. so she dives herself into work and controls every aspect of herself and her relationships to the point where it makes her physically ill fhdjhfd but i promise theres a lighthearted aspect but i wont cross that bridge till we get there 

"hey vio why's this fic called burn a picture" 

great question random hypothetical person!! i asked a friend if he could help me w titling this fic that fits w The Themes and they gave me this ^_^ based off the song of the same name by red vox. 

one of the themes of this fic is of destruction, particularly destruction of relationships. maybe even urself. so i felt that was fitting yk? 

[angelsdean]

like, i get that some people are upset that dean is still in heaven but, it wasn't really a shock to me at all ?? sure i clowned a bit w/ the 'time traveling aliveboy dean' stuff but they literally said before the show even started that dean was on a "hiatus" from heaven and that was always in the back of my mind thru out my clowning. and it really was a hiatus from heaven ! it all took place in the heaven drive time gap as like a finale coda (and what a huge time gap that is to fill. there's still so much they can do w/ that bit of time alone imo). we also don't know how much jensen + robbie were allowed to change, there may have been stipulations w/ spnwin to not change the heaven finale, something that might have to wait for a reboot / continuation of spn prime.

but regardless, crucially ??? what spnwin did is it completely recontexualized dean's ending. i said this in the tags of this post but i'll say it again: the spn finale said. ok dean's dead. he waits for sam. and that's it. spnwin said. no actually !!! he's not accepting that peace !! he's not waiting around for sam !! and giving dean back that agency is important to me. giving dean back the ability to make his own choices and want things for himself is important to me.

and i know some people are doubtful that we'll get a s2 of spnwin, meaning dean's story would end here, on him being unhappy in heaven. but personally, i don't think it matters if we get a s2. i think jensen is Not done with dean or the spn prime story. he's said before that spnwin is only one of many stories he wants to explore in the spn universe. also, after that answer he gave recently at jibcon re: a destiel reunion, i think he def wants more spn ("hopefully we get to see that at some point / i'm sure it would go how we all think it would go" and dean wanting to talk abt the confession)

i think even if we don't get a s2, everything that spnwin established re: dean's story will be the foundation for that reboot / mini series they're always talking about. personally, i Don't think we'll see dean again if there is a s2. (tho we may hear him in voiceovers as they read his journal and use it as a guide. and we may learn more abt dean and his journey this way). overall, i think dean helped establish this story and these characters, but moving forward it will be focused on them and not dean (tho we will see familiar spn faces, and maybe they will get involved in the multiverse too and visit the main spn universe, who knows?)

i think we needed what spnwin gave us re: dean's story not being over, dean unhappy in heaven, dean still searching more, (hints about jack possibly being "off" too / chuck won theory...) as a foundation for future stories in the main spn universe post-15x20. we want to see dean bust out of heaven and find happiness right? well, the seeds for that have been planted. and i knowww that's asking for optimism and faith that we WILL see a continuation in the future, and i get that some people are just doubtful and hopeless, but i really think we will see a continuation in the (maybe not so distant) future. and imo having this foundation to work off w/ dean's recontextualized time in heaven is important for all the things we want to see in a continuation.

and like, even tho i'm annoyed that ppl think his 'ending' now is worse than it was in 15x20, i don't think it's wrong to feel upset, because if that really were where it ended for dean i wouldn't be happy either. but for me the thing is i really really do Not think this is it for dean. i don't think jensen will be satisfied w/ dean staying dead in heaven forever. it completely goes against the thesis of the show, and dean's personal desire for freedom over peace in 'paradise.' and after everything jensen said abt dean + cas reuniting, i think there's a lot of unresolved things in spn that he wants to address, and he'll keep trying to make more spn until we get a better ending for all these characters (bc lbr, sam's ending also sucked. we never saw cas again and all he got was a throwaway line in the finale. jack deserves better too. they all do).

[girlwithfish]

hii hope this isn't weird but i saw all your posts about your partial hospitalization program and i might actually start going to one soon so i wanted to ask what an average day is like and what to expect ! hope your treatment is going well!!

hii! thank u ^-^ i know its scary i was vrery anxious to start but my first 3 days have been going pretty well!! it was overwhelming for me at first esp if ur not used to being in a group setting but the ppl in my group r pretty nice! and i really like most of the therapists on staff, i think this is important bc if u dont like them maybe itd be not as bearable or like a pleasant experience 😭 ofc everything im saying is specific to my program nd stuff so urs could be run different! but my php has around 6-7? ish therapists on staff and a different member leads group sessions thru out the day and they rotate, sometimes 2 therapists at once. and its a diff therapist on the schedule and not rly consistent idk how they determine that lol. but i rly get a lot out of each therapists insights and find the sessions to b pretty helpful. i treat it like school honestly where i try to be very active in listening the whole day and take in what theyre saying and take notes from discussions and anything that resonates with me. they give us a binder bc there r a lot of handouts and also give a journal so i use both a lot and treat it like a class. it can be comforting to be around other people who are in a similar place as u where they also had to go to a 6 hour a day program, makes u feel a little less lonely. my program is very dbt and cbt centered, w an emphasis on skills. we have a different topic each week, like last week was emotions and this week is connection & communication. they break up sessions into an hour each and we have an hour for lunch at 12. since its not a super long term thing, w a lot packed into the short term as they prepare u for IOP (intensive outpatient) its def overwhelming at times cuz ur at therapy for six hours a day for five days a week so im rly trying to try to find relaxation outside of therapy nd ways to unwind. theres around 12ish ppl in my group who ur with every day. everyone ur has a different care plan and schedule, w ppl moving down to IOP and usually at least one new person to a couple new ppl a day since ive been here. so the group ur w does change every day a little just bc everyones on a different track. we're assigned a therapist who u meet with once a week for 50min and also a psychiatrist who u also meet w once a week. therapists will pull u out of session to talk w u or go over safety plan n stuff. every morning they have u fill out a check in sheet with u assessing ur SUD (subjective units of distress) score, if ur having any thoughts of sh suicide or intents. asks u of an achievement ur proud of in the past 24 hrs, any notes for ur therapist, what skills uve used in the past day. we also have music therapist who comes in a couple days a week and yoga once a week. good luck!!! its a lot but uve got this! remember to take time for urself and unwind after therapy. if u have any other questions lmk i hope this helped!! genuinely the ppl on staff here r very nice so it definitely makes this place more pleasant for me and the content is very insightful. i like how things r run here and dont have many complaints. if ur looking into diff programs definitely check the reviews for the place on google or smth bc the place i go to i had a positive outlook toward when i was anticipating starting bc there were a lot of good reviews and ppl talking abt their positive experiences so i felt good abt it! wishing u the best ❤️🎀

[mikkouille]

Dear mutual @mashmouths taggie me for the game of 'Post the ten first songs on your 'On repeat' playlist on Spotify' or SMTH like that.

As I do not have a Spotify, idk what all that means, but I decided to eyeball it from what the randomiser of my phone seems to give ten times a day, from me local files.

It is a hard work of statistic 100% accurate nothing could go wrong (lie, girlie behind me in the train loudly licking chips crumbs off her fingers and chewing. noise unbearable. thought jumbled over it. the statistics have been messed up). Basically, just clicking 'next song' til I get one that makes me go oh yeh she plays all the time'. What's on my Bandcamp isn't on my local files so unfortsh we lose a whole lot of potential songs there. It's life.

1. Boris Farewell, honestly she's so good portable. I can vibe on my better audio equipment, I can vibe in the metro, in a crowd, she'll always be an enjoyable one no matter the sounds around me.

2. doechii Stressed, well damn so true. I must be stressed too.

3.Nature LIMBO, LIMBO LIMBO LIIIIIIIIIM BO LIMBO LIMBO LIIM

4. Moses Sumney Gargarin, it's hilarious how I'll hear this song ten billion times a week from shuffle, go 'oh what's that song it's nice- oh right of course' somehow there's a spell on it that makes me forget the name. but not that I like it.

5. Britney Spears Outrageous, it's not even my fave of its album yet my phone is OBSESSED with her. Outrageous. When I move my body OUTRAGEOUS when I'm at a party OUTRAGEOUS in my sexy jeans

6. THORNAPPLE As Above So Below, had a phase in my life where I looped that song for hours and then days nothing else, my shuffle never recovered I think.

7. vvv Oh dirty Leeds, I swear it's been months since I Voluntarily of my own clicked the song, she's part of the landscape of my shuffle.

8. ShinEE The Feeling, if I hit shuffle I am sure to hear it at a point or another. It's like the home screen at this point.

9. shygirl BAWDY, it's criminal how you will never witness the gay AMV that happen in my head when this song plays (10 times a day).

10. FLO Losing you, often in immediate succession with the previous one. Keep them on their toes....

++++bonus

for some reason my phone constantly plays christi interlude, but not any other song from the album... hey there sweetieeee I was just taking a look at your cHArt and OoOøh myYyi GOODNESS (goodness) You Are. experiencing THE most powerful transit right now. we have the FUOUL MOÖN. Today! At 24 degreeeeees of CAPricorn. we have PLUTO. the MAIN! planet of transfhow delightful ☺️ you were born on a Nyew Myoon :] that gives you such an OPTImistic EnErgy. you believe Anything can Happen. the woooorld is you Oyster :] the Symbol! of the New Moon... is the SEED star seed (star seed) SCA(???neverunderstoodthatword) thru the galactic Center to Evolve Humanity.

btw last time it played it, it immediately played Rina's Take me as I am and honestly the transition was so seamless to me. granted the child screaming in the BG of the train I was in did help blending stuff together but.

didn't put any song of The Kpopman's group BC it'd have been passé. cliché. frenchwordé. you can assume that yes, it throws some at me at regular intervals. Respect my privacy. (I think if I had to identify one that I'm fed the most it'd have to be Venom, every shuffle she'll be here)

Also I got songs from the game tho and aside from. the. mh. miss answers. which I respectfully skip whenever out cuz it's for in private. I have to ask my phone; what's with amdapor. carrying the dungeon ost pack...

-----

The total here is somewhat cohesive but also doesn't feel complete, alas it's all one can do with 10 songs...

Tagging; ppl who don't have a Spotify only.

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!

[gurorori]

O, P, Q, for thé ask game if you dont mind me asking..

SUM OF Y'ALL PUTTIN' DA SAME LETTERS WAHHH I FEEL BAD!! alrdy answered Q so. we do a li'l scrollin?

anyway!!

O - Where would I like to travel?

travellin' (as a leisure? time? i guess) isn' smth i think ab a lot yet, save 4 in terms of immigration from. here. buuuut in my dreams really, i'd luv 2 travel 2 a few places 4 da cultural aspects.. namely ukraine, our.. half-homeland i guess, which we never actually been 2, but obviously uh. sumthin' sumthin'. nawt anytime soon, but i really wud love 2 reconnect with dat side, even if we don' have any contact with our ukrainian side of da family :[ i still want us b able 2 go there one day, specifically vinnitsa which is where our mother's side of da family was from.

apart from dat, i'd luv 2 go 2 japan — ok stay with me — but 'm deathly afraid of big cities (been 2 moscow & st petersbrug an' both times killed us badly) an' tokyo has like, da same population as moscow but much more population.. density? an' jus' seein' da amnts of ppl mkes me super nervous >_< i dream of goin' on a tour of like, shrines an' temples an' otherwise culturally significant stuff, as well as foooood. but ofc 'm willin' 2 put up with a bit of tokyo ONLY cuz of harajuku. i Will hit all da lolita stores. but really i'd luv a trip 2 japan jus' 2 experience da food & culture :3c an' i guess put our dusty musty japanese 2 da test?

nextttt morocco, ik dats.. unusual but dats where our mother's part of da family is Originally from, as they immigrated from there 2 ukraine.. (an' then our mother did, 2 russia.. gulp) an' she was born & raised in ukr, so she always kinda wanted 2 go back 2 morocco 2 at least experience it, but obv lack of funds etc. she always talkd ab it a lot an' stuff. kinda like we're the repeat of dat but with ukraine hehe? so, i wanna visit both if we ever have da chance 2.

P - What kind of music I like?

oghhhh well. bit all over da place but again do stay with me.. i think our very first music experience where we Knew wat we wer doin' & consciously wer seekin' out music 2 our taste was with the Holy Emo Trinity. yeah sorry 2 bring those memories back, none of em r even 'emo' exacly & hate bein' called it or wtv, but yeah n_n mcr, patd, fob... i think we wer into patd da most, ik i personally still am (system integration is a weird thing - i believe i merged w the previous host who was the one 2 discover all those, like, arnd the age of 11-13?).. a fever you can't sweat out (2004) by panic at the disco changed our entire life trajectory. i still have it as my #1 mika album of all time. i do have a lotta love 4 mcr too, fob we wer a bit less into, but yeah.

'm occasionally into pop-ish stuff, i like mika lots (also name twins :3), his voice & his art r spectaaaacular an' very unique an' him. he's so goodddd, his songs def helped us thru many stuffs jus' like da aforementioned bands. idk he jus' gets it, even the melancholic songs he writes (dat hit suspiciously close home >:0) r like DESIGNED 2 lift ya up i swear.

idk wat 2 define aurora as an' i wudn' really call her pop, she's a bit of her own character, especially here she's nawt exacly well known at all, but yeah i had 2 mention her. i don' think i ever connected with an artist on a deeper level than it was with her, largely due 2 her also bein' on da spectrum (it wasn' clear if she's adhd or asd but hey i can diagnose her.), like i see myself in her thoughts an' behaviors so much, da way she talks an' carries herself an' expresses herself in the art she creates. i genuinely Have Feelings 4 her she's so beautiful an' i can't stswp bein' obsessed w her & her music. da stories she weaves & da way she puts her emotions into lyrics is sooo special 'm Really happy 2 live in da same time as her. back 2 her bein' different like us, it really inspires me how unapologetically herself she is, like seein' a neurodivergent creator get Big (in sum parts of da world at least) an' thrive so visibly is astonishin'. i hope 2 attend her concerts one day :[ srry 4 da ungodly amounts of infodumpin' i doin' here but she means Dat much 2 me...

oh an' last but TOTALLY nawt least, 'm a huge goth, i luvvvv goth music so much, i guess a bit 'basic' but i really love the og styff, like siouxsie, bauhaus, the cure, joy division, sister of mercy etc.. i also luv 45 grave, the cramps, the birthday massacre, plastique noir, alien sex fiend, depeche mode, an' ugh SO much more i can't list it all 😭 i listen 2 a lotta goth is wat i can say.

oh an' 'm also a big fan of visual kei (as an extension of gothic lolita ofc...) but i mainly focus on malice mizer, as well as a few eroguro kei bands (which i rly enjoy as a genre too, who woulda thought...)

[seakicker]

sorry just since we’re kind of in the juju advice corner rn… idk how to feel comfortable being super vocal :( i feel like my voice sounds weird and i usually just kind of get breathy and pant if that makes sense… idk i love hearing my partner moan but i just don’t know how to be vocal myself without being hyper aware of how i sound :/ idk if you had any thoughts to share on this

NO DONT APOLOGIZE it makes me feel rlly happy to be trusted w things like this yknow... being able to talk w ppl and share things w each other even if its thru an anonymous feature rather than face to face or anything... idk. just makes me happy to be able to help you guys out using my own experiences and feelings too #enfj

so firstly this ask made me giddy in a way cuz im also EXTREMELY vocal and i love knowing im not alone, so know that you're not alone in it either! i go on and on and on and ramble to the point where it sounds like, literally incomprehensible to my ears but if i have anything to say here, it's that you shouldnt feel embarrassed about how you display and express pleasure bc that's what having sex is all about, yknow?

i totally get the insecurity of worrying about how you're "performing" during sex and not necessarily in the traditional meaning of performance in bed-- i think people generally associate that with like, physical skills like how many times you can make someone come in a minute and all that, but i mean it more in a "performing like an actor" type way. making sure your hair looks nice, you're not twisted in a 'weird' position, you're not making a 'weird' face, that sort of thing. i think it's important to remember that you will make 'weird' faces and that you will look a lil disheveled and messy, but so will ur partner and that's just part of the fun! why shouldn't sex be fun and messy and weird... that's the best part yknow... there's no embarrassment in just coming as you are (pun intended) bc just as you said you love hearing your partner moan, there's a 110% chance they love hearing you moan too so i'd say there's nothing to worry about. i think a lot of the fun w sex is just seeing your partner feel good and getting that satisfaction of "im the reason they feel like that... nice" so i'm sure your partner gets a real kick out of seeing your faces and hearing your moans.

remember that sex isn't so much about looking good as it is feeling good-- you don't have to forcefully suppress your sounds to have a good time! breathy voices r cute, pants/gasps r cute, moans r cute, squeals r cute, all of it. i think in general im just a really big fan of promoting the idea of acceptance as an extension of understanding that many things w sex are natural and normal-- of course you know the distinction between unnatural (ie unpleasurable pain) and natural, and things like the sounds you make and how you feel will always fall into the latter imo

[thatbitchsimone]

Thank you that’s very sweet, you’re very kind

I just read and observe people and then after some time I eventually pick up on their habits and the way they talk and that’s what I did while learning English

Obviously I knew English because I learnt it in school but I never spoke it and I wasn’t great at communicating in it because where I live we usually speak my mother tongue which is pashto and urdu (I live in pakistan btw)

I’m 20 so before I was 17 when I started learning, that too because I got into this phase where I didn’t like talking to people and just reading and writing and on my phone and the quarantine really helped lol so that made me learn English and eventually get introduced to all the western media

And I because I had been always very close to my family so we watched the same shows and I wasn’t really at all on social media, probably because the lack of knowing English so I felt kind of insecure being on social media if I wasn’t able to understand the stuff on it, so no idea of western celebs or anything like that (I knew the very famous ones like angelina jolie etc because once I saw her face printed on a bag while I was shopping when I was like 12 and I though she was gorgeous anyways I’m rambling!!! Now hahah)

Anyways the point is, sometimes it makes me feel like, social media and real life are two different planets because the stuff on it so flabbergasting and weird (but also it has its many good sides and effects as well like talking to people and that’s great for me cause I love talking to people) but What kind of makes me sad is that it’s not 2 different planets, it’s all the same and the people who are so unkind and crazy on the internet are among us

It’s very weird

loved reading this! thank u so much

i mostly learned english from reading and watching movies etc as well actually but then again i was very young (i was fully fluent by the time i was around 9 i think) and children pick up languages very fast and i live in sweden where american and english media and pop culture is very widespread and part of the culture (probably bc sweden is a western country and america is very dominant in western media in general) so people learn english very well and easily here like swedes are known for it and foreigners often struggle to learn swedish bc the natives all switch to english when they notice u dont speak swedish so lots of foreigners and immigrants have to straight up ask people to talk to them in swedish more so they can learn and practice it lol but i think that goes to show that the best way to learn a language is to watch and read media in that language and observe it in casual conversation rather than just go by how ur taught it in classes etc

i honestly think its a good thing that u didnt partake in social media when u were younger. i think a lot of the people that dont seperate social media from real life are the ones who started using it early so they have almost spent more time in the social media and online world than the actual real world and get less real world interactions than online ones. i think its very unhealthy to not be able to seperate the 2 and just like u said, the online world and the real world are 2 different things and people forget that they are interacting with real living humans thru the screen and thats when it gets toxic and crazy and hostile. people kind of lose their social skills when they only interact with others behind a screen and its very concerning. ive always talked to ppl online the way i would talk face to face and its always weird to me when others dont do the same bc its like would u say these things ur saying online if the person was face to face with u? if u wouldnt then just dont. its cowardly and embarrassing behavior and its just gonna rot ur brain and soul and make u lose touch with reality and how u connect to others on a human level

[hirokiyuu]

ok i said i wasnt gonna talk abt conspiracy boarded oc on here but i think abt him constantly so lin (oc, short for insulin, Yeah) talk under the cut, spoilers for vace’s friendship 100 and peace ending stuff

vace is v fun bc even post therapy he’s still kind of The Way He Is you know. (in the pringles jar) and i think on the surface someone who’s easy-going is the easy solution but i don’t think someone who isn’t driven would appeal to him at all? so rather than easy-going it’s like... someone who doesn’t hold what he does against him

i do think it’s extremely funny if at first he dates people who are very much like rex and sol (assuming golden run where he and rex make up wwww) and then later on the person he ends up w/long term is Not Like That. these two things were essentially my thesis statement in making lin  WWWWWWWW

lin is essentially like. i don’t care if you fuck up. i do however care if you just leave the mess behind and in fact i care about that Very Fucking Much, Do Not Do It. a non-therapized vace appeals to him 0 percent past looks. a post therapy vace who is constantly fucking up but trying about it? very much his type. (get help bro)

augment is “clear-headed” -- doesn’t get swept away by his emotions, able to keep a level head in every single situations. essentially, there’s a wall between “him” and “his feelings”. in theory this means he’s got a cool head and is great at problem solving... which is true in practice as well! what WASNT part of the theory was, uh, the fact that bc he’s like that he’s not v good at dealing w/ppl who DO get swept away. kind of isolated from most people as a result but he’s dealing w/it.*

*”but ravh,” you might be saying, “vace gets swept away a lot!” yeah! he also (eventually, thru therapy) has the self-awareness to recognize this. much more appealing/interesting to lin than someone who has emotions and doesn’t bother. good at helping vace realize when he’s getting swept away as well. guy who likes problem solving his boyfriend’s anger issues.

robotics guy. mechanic for vace’s hand. originally helio affiliated, was shuffled into their engineering from a young age which is why he never had any contact w/vace before (abt ten? years younger i think) tho he’s heard Of vace. prefers to see what’s up with himself before drawing conclusions, tho.

hes the one who asks vace out lol. theres definitely a moment where vace is like “i wont ask you out i dont want to make it weird when you’re only here to do a job” and lin is like. ok cool. i will make it weird instead. go out with me. and vace is like.

good together for a number of reasons. lin helps vace when he’s upset bc he tends to focus immediately on “how do we fix this” (robotics guy) which helps vace channel his shit productively. open + good communicator mostly bc he thinks being cagey is annoying. v good at framing rship conflict as “him and vace against smth else”. 

on the flipside, vace being so emotive is like... kind of fascinating for him (guy who has Never Once been swept away). helps him get better at empathizing with other ppl + be more patient (lol). also on a practical level lin is not. great at taking care of himself (does basically the bare minimum to keep himself going) and mr i wanna protect the ppl i love! olivaceous is like. you are going to eat three meals a day actually.

THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG ALSKHDGLKASHGLKHSADG IF U READ THIS YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT, IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS YOU HAVE TO BE NICE ABOUT THEM ALSKHGLAKHSGDLKH

[orbees]

Waugh

This week has been rly rly rough both physically & mentally which I guess to be fair when isn't it . But I've been feeling Worse than usual and ughhh I rly. Hope I'm not getting sick >_< I suppose tho if not now then later cause one of the students I saw this week told me her whole family was sick with covid + SHE was feeling sick but was sent in anyways =___=

It's rly been worrying me too cause I was never able to get any of my boosters. It's a long story but tl;dr =_= I tried to get an appointment for one but my dr sucks and was like lawl they don't work so wouldn't put me on the schedule + caretaking + transportation issues and I just. Was never able to get one b4 school started. And now I don't have time to take off cause i have to get 39393 hours a week and have to save my days off for when mom needs me here 🙃

And thats Not even getting into the fact no one wears masks anymore + they got rid of contact tracing here + u no longer even have to keep ur kids home when they have covid so parents are sending their kids even when they're sick it's like god. As if the first time wasn't bad enough. I'm honestly rly worried about it especially w/ my health issues >_< which. Kind of hoping the "I'm getting sick" feeling I've been having all week has been from me worrying about it sm lol but. Something tells me it isn't 😑

Home life has also been rly rough. Trying to balance work and caretaking has been a nightmare. And it's like I don't know how to get thru to these ppl that I literally cannot do everything they're asking me too and that I'm disabled too!!!! I need help & rest too!!! Its like just school is pushing me to my limit and then I have to go home and do homework and clean and take care of my parents and this and that and. Ugh it's so stressful. It's sooo stressful >_<

It's like idk I'm hoping a lot of this is just from stress + growing pains from basically getting a Job with the hours I have to work and I think it'll get better once I manage to find a balance but christ almighty the getting there part is killing me. Anyways. Rant over